The Yak - We're Lookin' Fly on Dress Up Day | The Yak 1-17-24
Episode Date: January 17, 2024It's the pleating in the pantsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up.
Hello.
The one day we're dressed up, we don't get to see ourselves.
TV's off.
TV's off.
What the fuck?
We look cute as fuck.
Roback.com, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Use promo code YAK.
20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips,
polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. I'm wearing the Q-Zip right now. Yeah, well, look at that.
That zip's about, yeah, it's exactly a Q. It's a Q. I'm also wearing the polo. Wow.
Shit, you're geared up. I'm geared up. We're geared up. Roback.com. Promo code code Yak. I want to see us. I don't even know what we look like.
I know.
I know.
I can't tell what Titus looks like.
Oh!
Oh, wow.
Everyone want to do a little quick fit off?
Just explain their fit?
Maybe stand up?
Titus, what do you got?
Yeah, so we got a button up.
We got some chinos.
Okay.
We got some chinos that I bought.
I think they're like skinny chinos, and I was a lot skinnier when I bought them,
so we're struggling right now.
What the type?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
How's that thing breathe?
I kind of like that, though.
That's a good look.
Skinny chino is a cool nickname.
Yeah.
A little sport coat over top, and then it is business casual,
so I went with the sneakers.
Ooh.
I like it.
I like that. I wanted all the business people to know I I went with the sneakers. Ooh. I like it. I like that.
I wanted all the business people to know I'm still a cool guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't have to take me that seriously.
You look like a college professor.
All of us, I probably do.
Yeah.
All right. What do you got, Mook?
All right.
So I went to Goodwill this morning because I left all my accounting clothes in Philly.
I got loafers.
Okay.
Goodwill pants.
Nice little button-down. That's awill pants. Nice little button down. Nice jacket.
Why don't you stand up?
Why is there a zip tie on your jacket?
I couldn't get it off.
You couldn't get the zip tie off?
You look like you're wearing your dad's suit.
How much was the total fit from Goodwill?
Total fit from Goodwill was like
$35. Not bad.
But then I asked them if they had blue light glasses and she she showed me these, and I said, I don't really want them.
And then she put them back, and then I was like, actually, I'll take them.
And she scanned it, and these were $70.
Oh.
No.
Those are $70?
$70 glasses.
And I couldn't tell them to put them back, so I just bought them.
I think you could have.
You could have.
I couldn't. That's way too much money.
$70?
I panicked at the reference.
At Goodwill?
Goodwill, they just make up the prices.
Is there a brand on them?
Yeah, they might not be branded, dude.
No, they're Goodwill brands.
Yeah, you were taken.
For a ride.
Big to know that you could purchase that amount at Goodwill.
Was this inside the Goodwill, or were you outside on the street?
Yeah.
Inside the Goodwill. There you outside on the street yeah inside the Goodwill
there's Celine
oh nice
Celine
that's a brand
yeah sure
Kyle you look hot
I'm gonna keep this squat popped
this is all from Nordstrom Rack
funny story
a month prior to buying this
I got frauded from a Nordstrom Rack in Cedar Rapids
for the exact same price of this.
Wow.
Wait, a month before you bought it,
you got a credit card charge?
I got credit card fraud
from Nordstrom Rack, Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
And then a month later, I went to Nordstrom Rack
and this cost the same amount of money.
Simulation. We're living in a simulation.
Whoa.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Yeah, that's Matrix.
Yeah.
But this was like, go in, go to the suit area, and just say, get me whatever you want.
I like that.
I didn't pick it out.
So that's actually genius by you, because you went to Cedar Rapids, you bought all this stuff, you then claimed credit card fraud, and then you went and bought it again and you're like see
it keeps happening wells fargo definitely thinks that yeah yeah genius what the hell do you got i
got uh all right so i only the nicest clothes i have are the are q-zip that's as high as my closet
goes yeah i got the lime green q-zip i went with the lime green shoes to match that ain the lime green Q-Zip. I went with the lime green shoes to match it. That ain't lime green. That's not lime green?
That's mint.
A mint?
That's mint, yeah.
And then I also have the underneath, which also has some green accents,
and then a little houndstooth from my guy, Mr. Formal.
Wow.
Mr. Formal does it well.
Mr. Formal sent me these.
He does it well.
On the arm.
Okay.
A lot of layers.
Shout out.
I know.
Yeah.
It's kind of one of those imposter syndrome where it's like, well, if I just do like three
different layers, then one of them has to be considered good.
Is there a talking head, a football guy that is known to wear a lot of layers?
Or am I misremembering this?
That there's somebody that like every time they're on TV that's just.
There's a layer.
Maybe it's a basketball.
I don't know.
Popping collars? I feel like there's
somebody that's like known to just be...
Layered? Yeah. Shirt with
a vest with a coat over the vest.
Onions? Yeah. I don't know.
Like a substitute teacher?
Possibly?
Yeah. Cake.
Cake has layers depending.
No, I'm pretty sure it's
a human being.
Not a cake. Tiramisu?
Man, you know what?
It could be.
I kind of like those pop in this. It makes me look
like I have one of those
not ascot.
Yeah, you look like Fred from Scooby-Doo.
Yeah, you do.
Brandon?
So this is my, I've worn it to three funerals in a row.
Yeah, but in like a short amount of time.
Yeah, sans tie.
I usually have a tie on.
That's your funeral fit, pink?
That's insane.
What?
That's disrespectful.
That shows joy.
It's very relaxed funeral outfits.
You went to a funeral for the Easter Bunny?
Yeah, who died? Did you wear the
Garfield socks to the funeral?
I did not. Thank you for pointing out.
So I have the suit coat,
I have the pink shirt,
I have the blue Delta pants,
the Garfield socks, and then
the shoes. Your funeral socks?
No, these aren't funeral socks.
These are fun socks that I like to wear sometimes.
What if the person that died loved Nermal?
Then I would wear them.
If I were at Jim Davis' funeral, I would wear these.
Is he dead?
No, I don't think so.
Charles Schultz is.
Charles Schultz is, yeah.
Who wrote Foxtrot?
Really dead.
I don't know.
Gary Watterson's still alive.
Who's that?
That's Calvin and Hobbes.
He's still alive?
Or is that Bill Watterson? Gary Larson, Farside. I loved the Farside Watterson's still alive. Who's that? That's Calvin and Hobbes. He's still alive? Or is that Bill Watterson?
Gary Larson, Farside.
I loved the Farside.
Shel Silverstein, dead.
Yeah?
Is that confirmed?
Yeah.
They chose his worst picture for the back of those books, too.
Scary guy.
I think I look good as fuck.
Yeah, but he had a lot better photos.
Penis head?
You look good, Brandon.
He wrote country music songs, too.
You look real good.
Shel did? Yeah, he was a prolific writer. I didn't know why. Penis head? You look good, Brandon. He wrote country music songs, too. You look real good. Shell did?
Yeah, he was a prolific writer.
I didn't know he was a dude.
You cleaned up nice.
I thought I was a girl for a while.
Did?
Brandon, I will say this.
Yeah, but the poems are funny.
I will say this about your fit.
Jim Davis dots his eyes with circles.
Ah, yeah, he does.
I used to try to do that.
The dot of the eye is called a tittle.
Tittle.
Yeah, his tittles are so big.
Oh, like YA.
Yeah, like YA. I love some big, like YA. Yeah, like YA.
I love some big old tittles.
All right, Nick.
Gentlemen, the theme is Italian villa.
Oh.
You could be in White Lotus.
Yes.
Armand, I have a field day with you.
I like it.
The socks, dress socks, baggy on me.
Baggy. Look, it is. Look at that face. Yeah, those, baggy on me. Baggy.
Look, it is.
Look at how it folds.
Yeah, those are baggy socks.
Yeah, these ain't boot cut.
These are just regular dress socks that I keep having to pull up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look like you could play trumpet in a jazz quartet.
Really?
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you. I feel like you would more like,
he looks like he could hold the trumpet
For the guy who plays his trumpet
Again, thank you
In the jazz quartet
Again, yes
You're jealous because my houndstooth is smaller
You got some chunky ass houndstooth
Look at these wee little boys
These are baby teeth
Is my houndstooth too big?
That's big ass houndstooth
That's standard houndstooth
Yeah, but this
You didn't know they could make them like these
Wait, so your houndstooth's too small? No I don't even know that that counts as houndstooth Look closer What's a houndstooth. Yeah, but this. You didn't know they could make them like these. Wait, so your houndstooth's too small.
No.
I don't even know that that counts as houndstooth.
Look closer.
What's a houndstooth?
Get even closer.
Come here.
Get in there, Brandon.
That's houndstooth.
Mm-hmm.
The smallest there is.
May I touch?
Yes.
It's a nice pant.
Steven?
May I touch yours?
Yes.
Feels nice, right?
Yes, it does.
Got a little sports coat.
Checkered shirt.
Grid-type shirt. Jeans
and a nicer
not-basketball
sneakers. Do you have a kerchief?
Oh, yeah.
Nobody
forgets about their kerchief. You knew that was there.
What's your belt doing?
What's that belt do?
Gotta stay true, bucks
Zod, did you dress up?
Hell yes
I went with
my golf fit
I wasn't in the mood to put on some African garb
so I got a little
I can't say who it is, but I got a little quarter zip
Shout out to the Barstool Classic, the final shirt from last year.
And all right.
Let's see the trousers.
Oh.
You got some pants.
Oh, pants.
I can't say who.
Oh, shit.
What a reveal.
I can't say who.
Stephanie, are you wearing a dress?
Yes.
And foreign teals.
Oh, hell yeah.
Let's go.
I can come out there for the full fit showing yes i want to go break a bread record right now yeah what should we do i don't know
this really didn't yak gauntlet yak basketball yeah we had we had a plan that we executed well
but there was no secondary part of it sometimes the first plan is just enough though just yeah we'll just yeah you're looking good stephanie looking good full fit four inch heels four inch heels wow damn
four inch heels damn it oh goodness heels how do you do that how do you do it stephanie there's
there's there we go there we go okay looking great go. Okay. Looking great.
How much do four-inch heels suck?
They're really not that bad.
Oh, not that bad, she said.
I think heels are more comfortable than flats.
Ooh.
More comfortable than flats.
Rest in peace, your mentions.
Yeah.
More comfortable than flats.
What did she say?
My DMs are already dead, Nick Oh no
We look good as a squad
We do
Yeah
What should we do?
Yeah
We should do like paperwork and shit
Yeah
Files
Politics
We're gonna run some spreadsheets
Should we have somebody come on that's underdressed and make them feel bad?
Yeah
Yes
Just like we have you on our show and you're fucking doing this.
I know just the person.
White Sox Dave's probably in Tweety Bird PJ pants.
Yeah.
Did you hear about the him and Smitty debacle yesterday?
No.
They barged into mostly sports.
They did?
They did do that.
Yeah.
Apparently Dave invited Smitty to a diner and uh it was cash
only and dave didn't bring any cash but dave was the one that invited and it's also the diner that's
right across the street he goes to every single day wait deja vu there is a dave smitty diner
story correct and there's one oh there is yes where Where Dave fell in love with the waitress.
And then Smitty went back to tell him about Dave.
Wait, that happened yesterday?
No, that was probably five years ago.
That's right.
Smitty and White Sox Dave are an underrated comedy.
When these guys go to diners, shit happens.
Yes.
Is what we're learning.
They shouldn't go to diners.
I thought that diner was no longer cash only.
I thought they had.
Because it got robbed.
I think they have an ATM, but it doesn't work.
Didn't they go.
That's what I had heard too.
I've been to a car there once, but it's very.
I think maybe the waiter that has the thing goes home with it.
The square.
Yeah.
Plug into his cell phone.
Huh.
All right.
I'm just.
I'm inviting the three biggest slobs in the office
white socks dave anybody um
white socks dave megan megan did we say white socks yeah it's white socks dave
makes me in jersey jerry yeah yeah that's it. That's a strong trio.
None of them are dressed nicely today.
Although Mincy sometimes will do.
Jerry will sometimes do.
Jerry will sometimes do.
Mincy will sometimes do like an off, like, hey, he's got khakis and he's wearing his
nice old Miss polo.
Dave will, though, sometimes forget to put his clothes in the dryer and just let them
dry naturally in the washer.
And he'll always have that swampy smell.
Ew.
That's the worst.
Dave will sometimes forget to put clothes on.
I feel like we could Emperor's New fit him real well.
Like, dude, you look great.
And he's butt-ass naked.
Look at his clothes.
Really?
Thank you.
Nobody fucking compliments me.
Have you guys met the new girl in sales?
No.
Bryce.
Is that her name?
What?
What's her name?
I don't know.
Just make it up.
Do you remember Bryce?
What did you say?
I know.
I think he said Bryce.
I think I've met her a few, like three times, but I forget her name.
Oh.
Yeah, Bryce.
You should have said Bryce.
You said Bryce.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
For sure didn't.
That's a cute name for a woman.
Yeah, but you said Bryce.
No, I didn't.
I'm with you.
Thank you, Moog.
You said thrice?
Thrice, yeah.
You've met her thrice.
Yes.
Got it.
But she started yesterday.
Correct.
You met her thrice yesterday Yes. Got it. But she started yesterday. Correct. You met her thrice yesterday.
I pace around, yeah.
I feel like you can only meet people once.
True, yeah.
Did you introduce yourself three times?
No.
Did you introduce yourself once?
No.
So you have not met her.
Three times or never, yeah.
You've never met her.
Never met.
This is Bryce.
Bryce.
Go get Bryce Well I have
Something that's just
Stuck in my head
From my
Meeting of her
That I'm gonna have to address
Because she
Nice little like
Oh good
It's good to have you here
Blah blah blah
She ended our conversation with
Happy to be here
And I heard it as
Happy New Year
And I said Happy New Year
Oh
Come on And as i said
that i was like that's not what she said and it's january 17th i think it's still fine maybe she did
say happy no she's not it's not fine it's not fine it's not fine happy to be here and i said
oh yeah happy new year now you might have mind her, because you're the boss. Yeah, but I was cringing when she walked out.
There he is.
Oh.
He's not slobby.
He's not slobby.
Dressed up nice.
Damn it, this is backfiring.
We invited the three biggest slobs.
I mean, I got throw-up on my shoes, but.
Jerry, real quick, do you want to address what happened last night
and what the new Jersey Jerry, Jerry After Dark is going to be going forward?
Why don't you wear the same shoes?
I didn't have time to switch shoes this morning.
I woke up late.
Yeah, you did.
No, I didn't.
Were those shoes next to the other shoes?
Yeah.
You had them on the top.
They were.
They were.
I don't know going forward.
I mean, I knew from the jump when the challenge was Lucas came up.
It was like, hey, we're going to do this.
I'm like, Lucas, milk is not going to work, dude.
He's like, trust me, trust me, it's going to work.
It just never had a chance to work.
And, like, the plan wasn't to stream 24 hours.
Like, that was never the plan.
If there was, we should have did breakfast, lunch, dinner.
You've got to decide going forward whether Jerry After Dark is quick challenges or committing to the longer challenges.
That challenge last night was not hard if you committed to the longer challenge.
I think we might do one a month.
One a month?
Oh.
Maybe we do one a month and make them very long.
And very hard.
Yeah, one a month.
It feels like there's a quit factor that you need to get
over you got you felt like you got there and you were like oh here he is mincy go ahead sit down
can we get like a a brief recap of what so it was a 10 000 calories yeah 10 000 calories
and it was hey jerry's not gonna leave till it's done. Sure, that's great. But, like, when I'm drinking milk and I have poop in my pants.
Yeah.
And, like, I'm throwing up every 30 seconds.
I mean, like, ruining the kitchen.
I just felt like, dude, this is just not.
Your voice has changed, man.
It's killing you.
Throw up.
The throw up. Yeah. Your body's falling apart. Yeah. It's killing you. Throw up. The throw up.
Yeah.
Your body's falling apart.
Yeah.
It's like the voice of a bulimic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like people could say, oh, he quit.
I mean, yeah, I did quit.
I mean.
So people say that would be correct.
Yeah.
I mean, that's fine.
From my perspective, it felt like that was a stream that was 10,000 calories is not easy,
but it's easily doable if
you give yourself like 12 hours even then no it's yeah it's it's hard no if you got if 10 000
calories in a day is hard especially if you're not burning calories well that's what i say i
told him put the i would have gotten on the treadmill right away just i didn't have anything
in me to do it i couldn't't. My stomach was popping out.
You just need to figure out what Jerry After Dark is.
I think I'm going to take full control of the Jerry After Dark.
I don't want anybody else involved.
I don't want Lucas involved.
I want him to produce the show.
I want Ryan to help produce the show and the tech and, you know, be there for me if I need something.
But I think I want full control.
Okay.
That's how you've always been.
You know yourself and your content.
Yeah.
Like, dude, like, I don't want it to be a clown show.
Right.
It's not supposed to be a clown show.
Right.
It's supposed to be fun, entertaining.
Throw up is cool.
Like once.
No, I agree.
Last night was gross.
It was too much throw up.
It was too much.
It's not good for my body.
It's not good for my family.
So it's a bad look to to just have back-to-back
throw-up streams so i think going forward i want full control and uh it's just going to be what i
would i would i want the challenge to be and next week you're out of town right uh when is the date
tuesday next tuesday is the 23rd no i'll be here the 23rd i'm out of town the 24th all right so
you're gonna do a stream in the 23rd yeah well i'm trying be here the 23rd. I'm out of town the 24th. Alright, so you're going to do a stream the 23rd?
Yeah, well, I'm trying to put together
a slam dunk competition.
I want to bring people in from outside.
Oh, I like that. And do a slam dunk competition
and I'll give away like a $2,000
cash prize. Have a halftime
show with like over plus size women.
Okay. Cheerleaders. Why?
Over plus.
Well, I just think it's nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Cheerleaders are cool, you know, and do like a little halftime show,
entertaining and whatnot, and have like an actual dunk contest
and then have the chat like, you know, how they do the scorecards.
Yeah.
We can have the chat decide which round, like, hey, this guy, that's a 10.
Right.
Or, hey, this is a four.
You know what I mean?
Are you lowering the goals or are you bringing in real dunkers?
Real dunkers.
I want real dunkers.
I like that.
And then we have to figure out, should we just announce it right now?
Yeah, we'll do like a stream for the birthday.
So my birthday is on Tuesday, January 30th, and Stu and PFT's birthday is on Wednesday, January 31st.
So we said, why don't Stu, PFT, and I come on Jerry After Dark, we'll do a birthday stream.
Exactly.
We'll do the crossing over of the birthday.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Yeah, like, listen, dude.
It's been a rough two weeks.
It's been a rough two and a half weeks,
but I think we're going to get back on track.
Okay.
I want full control of the show.
You know, it's not Lucas' show.
It's nobody else's show.
It's my show.
All right.
Meeks, what was the name of the new woman who got hired?
Yeah, what's her name?
Catherine.
Catherine.
Can you tell her to come down here?
I have to ask her a question.
All right.
I like those.
Oh, yeah.
Basketball.
What?
Sweet.
Baldin's here today.
Look at this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really cool.
Or Bodden.
Sorry.
Had it in an L.
That's sick.
Let's try to do a deal with them.
Shout out to Bodden.
I used to have a ball like that.
Yeah, this is a nice ball.
A yak ball?
A batting ball.
This is a nice ball.
Okay, thank you, Jerry.
Yeah, no problem.
Good luck in the future.
And then we have Mincy Slob 2.
Why didn't you dress up today?
What are you talking about?
Look at us.
Y'all look great
Thank you
I didn't know it was like this
So why
We sure do
Chicago Performance Review
See this is a
This is a place of work
I mean why would you
Not
It's business
This is
This is a business place
Oh damn
Place of work
That's
That's tomorrow
Yeah absolutely
I didn't realize it was dress up day
I missed the memo
It's not really dress up day No it's not a dress up not a dress it's just a it's just a weekday it's a weekday at work so i can't i gotta say i
haven't seen any other wednesdays where everybody was looking like this hold on one second mincy
katherine can i have one question for you katherine's new um katherine second week be
gentle second week general yes katherine i have one for you. Put the mic in front of you. When we met each other, do you remember the last thing that you said to me
and the last thing I said to you?
You said, Happy New Year.
What did you say to me?
I think I said, I'm excited to be here.
Yeah, you said, I'm happy to be here.
Did you think I said, Happy New Year?
Yeah.
That would have been a weird move.
It's been fucking me up, so I apologize.
No, it's okay.
Okay.
All right.
That's all I wanted to say.
How many times have you met Kyle?
I haven't.
I had the wrong person.
Oh, this wasn't even who you knew.
Never met.
Yeah.
Kyle, nice to meet you.
It's only my second day in the office.
Yeah.
Well, I apologize.
Have you ever gone by Bryce at any point in your life?
Has anyone ever called you that?
Completely wrong.
Wrong person. Kyle thought he met Bryce three times. wrong. Where did that come from? Wrong person.
Kyle thought he met Bryce three times.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, I got this.
Do I look like a Bryce?
No.
Okay.
Well, I mean, Dallas Howard, yeah.
What?
What?
That's a Bryce, yeah.
Bryce Dallas Howard.
Yeah.
Ron's daughter.
She was.
Well, Catherine, I apologize.
It's okay. It was awkward. I Catherine, I apologize. It's okay.
It was awkward.
I literally, when you walked out, I was like, God fucking damn it.
She didn't say happy new year.
And I said it back to you.
So.
It's okay.
It is still the new year.
No.
No.
Okay.
17 days.
When's the last day to say happy new year without being aware of the 14th?
The second.
Second.
Yeah.
Damn.
I'll send it out.
I'll send it out on the 10th or 11th.
I think it's like 8th or 9th
I slung it on like the 6th a couple times
Thank you Catherine
Thank you and happy new year to all
Yeah happy new year
That had been bothering me all morning
Yeah that would keep you up at night
It really was
Who did you meet
Now I feel weird
So there might be a Bryce
No I said thrice.
There is no Bryce.
Dallas Howard.
Yes.
We have to hire a Bryce now.
I think she was an Ozempic casualty, man.
Like it took away the voluptuousness.
Oh, like Laney Wilson.
Did you see Chastain?
No.
I'm anti-Ozempic, man.
Wait, what happened to Chastain?
Jessica Chastain.
Ozempic casualty.
We lost her
She was elite milk six months ago
No more
The taps run dry
Oh no
Has Laney Wilson spoken back
About this
I haven't heard her speak about it
No I haven't heard that
She'd probably be right but no I haven't heard that
Is there any updates
Like new research on Ozempic again i get it from you yeah i just i don't get it you're my ozempic researcher
okay when you tell me i'm it's safe i don't think i will go on it i don't think you should do it
you're my doctor right when you tell me though you do enough research like hey i think you can
go on it now i'll go on it now. I'll go on it.
Yeah, you should never go on it. Okay.
If you're, like, skinny and, like, boring and dull, that would be horrendous.
I'm just going to lift weights.
Yes.
I'm going to get jacked.
Mincy.
How we doing?
What do you got?
I'm excited for tomorrow.
I thought you would have gone and changed.
We're talking about today right now.
I'm wearing Stella Blue.
I'm repping the – I felt like I was doing,
I thought repping Stella Blue would always be welcome on the act.
This is tough.
Place of business.
Will you dress up for Wake Up Mincy tomorrow?
Or does that not fit the probation thing?
I don't know.
I'm thinking about it.
I'm excited for tomorrow though.
Big things?
Yeah, yeah.
We actually got some good news.
We got some,
it was funny
because I was in a meeting
with production earlier and they were in shock because we have a new title sponsor for Wake was funny because I was in a meeting with production earlier,
and they were in shock because we have a new title sponsor for Waco Mincey.
We have a presenting sponsor now.
And if Stella Blue just got kicked out?
Stella Blue will always be.
Yeah, but it was the title sponsor.
Stella Blue and the other one.
You have two presenting sponsors.
Yeah.
If you have two, you don't have one.
I feel like I just got squeezed out.
Yeah, you did.
And all I've done is show loyalty.
Stella Blue is on every single graphic and will always be.
But there's a title presenting sponsor now.
You will say the first company first, correct?
I don't know.
I was just going to say both.
I haven't really.
We haven't.
Stella Blue.
Wake up.
I just got an opening.
I just lost the show.
Stella Blue, now the presenting sponsor.
Damn, I thought it was good.
We got some money coming in. I thought this was a positive.
No, no, no, it is. Tomorrow, we'll start.
Wait a minute.
Now that Wake Up Mincy is flush with cash,
maybe he can sponsor Mostly Sports.
Yeah, that's a great point.
Mostly Sports brought to you by Wake Up Mincy.
Yeah. That rolls off the tongue.
We're doing business today, dude.
Business moves. We're making some moves.
We don't have an opening. Who's your title sponsor?
Dude Wipes.
Oh, yeah, that's right, because of the dump button.
I feel like if there was ever a show that needed mess cleaning up,
it might be this.
I love the guys at Dude Wipes, so you know what?
I'm going to stand down.
I think it's positive.
We still got a sponsor.
Yeah, no, I'm standing down, meaning I'm off Wake Up Minnesota.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
What?
You're off it. Well, I mean, dude, I'm going to stand-up minutes. What? You're off it.
Well, I mean, I'm going to
stand back. You did replace him.
We've got graphics already with Dude Wipes
that's still blue. We're on it.
So what does sponsoring the dump button look like?
Well, okay, so there's some controversy
with that, too, shockingly.
So the problem is, so what we've
got for the show
is we've got a one-minute delay,
but if we actually had to hit the button, it crashes the whole show,
and the show's over.
So it just is over if we have to hit it.
So they're sponsoring the destruction of the show.
Yeah, so the moment you say something so offensive,
we have to cut the stream, we will show their logo on the stream,
and so people will be
well they're just they're in on anything they're just like we love the show we want to be part of
it so they're pretty sponsor so but they thought it would be funny with the dump button situation
i like that uh given given everything but i think it's a fitting sponsor too because i mean i'm
gonna slug stella blue coffee and you know after you drink a bunch of coffee in the morning i mean
you usually gotta use some dude wipes so i feel like we've got an organic situation.
Yeah.
Excited, though.
Yeah.
Just coming back.
A little smaller setup.
But, you know, we're rolling.
Yeah.
Probation thing.
Okay.
Well, we're excited.
Hell yeah.
And both y'all tomorrow.
We're going all out.
Me and Nick?
You and Nick.
Opener.
There we go.
Two big personalities. That's the point. Hey, it's the first one. We got to come out and Nick. The opener. There we go. Two big personalities.
That's the point.
Hey, it's the first one.
We've got to cut off Guns Poison.
I don't know if I could do a show.
Do you three have anything prepared?
Any segments?
For me, I've got some stuff already, but Nick and I are brainstorming this afternoon, too.
I've got some others.
I've already got a few things.
Did you want to ask me first?
I don't know.
Nick and I don't really have any rapport.
None at all.
We've never done a show together.
Yeah, clearly. Well, we don't like have any rapport. None at all. We've never done a show together.
Yeah, clearly.
Well, we don't like each other.
I can sense the hate.
I'm going to be pissed if he gets more attention.
And same with me.
Who do you introduce first?
Big Cat gets first introduction.
I would like Nick to be introduced first. Okay, whatever.
No, no, no.
I want to be last.
I want to be last.
Zach, you're always the first guest of the season.
Can you please introduce me, then Nick, then reintroduce me?
I'm going to say this is one and a half.
That is one of the great traditions of Barstool history.
I also want to put an over-under on it.
We should put an over-under on how many we can make it.
I feel like there's some gambling opportunity here.
You'll think on it.
We'll think on that for sure.
Okay, if we can make it, you mean you can make it. We'll think on that. Okay, we can make it.
You mean you can make it.
I think the third time's the charm.
I really do.
Sure.
I mean, I believe.
You know, I really feel good about it.
Okay, so you're going to introduce me, then Nick, then me again.
Done.
So he walks out, and then I walk out, and then he goes back in,
and then he walks back in.
So you're not first or last.
No, I'm middle.
Yeah.
That's awesome. Good play. Big you're not first or last. No, I'm middle. Yeah. That's awesome.
Good play.
Big Cat's my fucking bookends.
Fuck.
Mm-hmm.
Now you're sitting bitch.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
I'm the book.
You're just the two things holding it together.
All right, so introduce me.
I'm the burger.
You're the buns.
Introduce Nick with me.
Okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That's three introductions.
Yeah.
I'll be standing behind Nick for that one, and then I'll leave, and then you introduce me again.
Okay?
Okay.
All right.
Got it.
All right.
See you all tomorrow, 8 a.m.
Wake up, Mincy.
Can't wait.
Love it.
It's going to be great.
Thank you, Mincy.
Act three.
Yep.
Who was the third slob?
White Sox Dave?
Yeah. And is he not here? He's in the middle of an interview. Okay. He'll show up, whatever. Yep Who was the third slob? White Sox Dave? Yeah
And he's
Is he not here?
He's in the middle of an interview
Okay
He'll show up whenever
It feels good to look better than people
Yeah
I didn't know I was on the show tomorrow
You have a lot to do tomorrow
I have the longest day ever
Also when it comes to brainstorming
Didn't know
He just texted you and said
Let's brainstorm
You never confirmed
I never confirmed
What's a mincey brainstorm session like? Oh it's seconds Didn't know. He just texted you and said, let's brainstorm. You never confirmed. I never confirmed.
What's a mincey brainstorm session like?
Oh, seconds.
What are we going to talk about, Nick?
Because this show is scripted.
Right.
Script every line of the episode. All right, I guess I got to get in tomorrow early.
And you did the dress-up bit today.
Yeah.
Tomorrow, should we dress down?
I'm in the office tomorrow, 8 to 8, I guess.
Wear mincey outfits.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah, I don't know what that thing that's dressed down.
Sure.
Do you think if we end every sentence with over, he'll start doing it as well?
Over?
I like that, over.
Yeah, I just feel like I'm really happy to be here over Yeah we should
We should think of something else though
Because now he can see this
Yeah
You and I will brainstorm
Yep
I want Mincy to use the dump button
When he doesn't need to
I want it to be like the
Unnecessary censorship that Kimmel does
Yeah
You know where
Yeah
I'd like to just hit the dump button
Yeah
But you ask him like a controversial question
and then he starts talking and you just hit it.
I feel like we could Hansel and Gretel him
and we just do a trail of breadcrumbs to it.
Oh, let's just ask him only controversial questions.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
New segment called Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?
Mincy, you first and why?
Power rank the school shootings in the last year.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, we'll get them we'll get them we're gonna we're gonna get this thing dumped who's that rocky's mascot
i feel good yeah i do too i need more slobs in here yeah oh down on people oh well what else we got you want me to go slob hunting
go round up i want you to know i want you to stay put oh every second of every show for the next
month wow that's a task i like that for him. Stick around. Why? Stay in the seat. Cause I like when you're on the show. I enjoy it too, but sometimes I got to pee.
I have a, I pee a lot. It's not always a pee break though. No, it's always a pee break.
No, it's always a pee break. Just the other day it was a furniture phone call.
Well, that was different. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.
Literally my argument. That wasn't a pee break. And I only went right there.
I didn't like go anywhere. I just, i just had to have a furniture phone call now now that we're bringing attention
to it i gotta pee all of it all right a month i can do that month no pee a month no getting up
during the show yes getting up during the show okay no. Getting up during the show. Okay. No matter what. Dude, you're not going to.
Yeah.
Don't commit to that.
I'm committing.
Don't yourself.
You're committing?
There's no chance you can do that.
Can I go pee now?
Go pee and round up some slobs, and then we'll start to clock.
Okay.
One pee, two slobs.
One pee.
Slobbiest slobs you can.
One pee, three slobs, but give us a slob we wouldn't expect
should he
spy cam in
oh yeah
we'll see your little peener
hit a 3 in your suit coat
here the new
yak ball
yak ball
oh wait no camera guy gotta run that back The Yak ball Jesus Christ Oh wait
No camera guy
We didn't see it
Gotta run that back
Run it back
Run it back
Let's get him to run around a little
He looks very stiff
Oh no
We gotta make one
We gotta make one
Come on
Come on
It has to be with the yak ball.
Do a sick crossover, too.
Dribble around.
Oh, man.
I hope it lasts for a really long time.
Where'd he go?
Oh, no.
There.
No.
Come on.
Just make one real quick, Brandon.
Just make this one.
Oh, fuck.
Yowza.
All right.
Come on, bud.
Yeah, you got this.
Try the other hoop.
Try the other hoop.
Try the other hoop.
It's easier.
Dribble down.
Yeah.
There's not air in that ball. Oh, that hoop's easier. Dribble down. Yeah. There's not air in that ball.
Oh, that hoop's worse.
Go back to the other hoop.
There's not air in the ball.
Yeah.
Speaking of empty balls.
Hold on, hold on.
Let's get Lockwood down.
The camera's not on you.
All right, now go.
Oh, have you gotten any details out of Hank?
Not really.
Hanky Panky?
He and Tiff.
Can we press him?
We did a little bit.
I think they're just friends.
That's lame.
With maybe benefits.
What kind of benefits?
There we go.
Hey!
Wait, we didn't get that on camera.
I missed that. did he make it is there a chance he loves her there's a chance yeah i guess there always is
it's a good duo it's great i enjoy like i saw the picture i was like oh they look like a happy
happy little couple yeah and i mean listen it's people tune in to hear about it I kind of get why Travis Kelsey is dating Taylor Swift
Maybe Hank needs to start doing this more
It's very public
Was he on TMZ?
I don't know
He's on the post
It's gotta be a little intoxicating to be dating
To be in a celebrity
Yeah couple
Relationship
I don't know
I would hate it That sounds dreadful The first part has gotta be intoxicating to be in a celebrity relationship. I don't know.
I would hate it, but the first part has got to be intoxicating.
That first headline where you're like,
oh my God, we just went to dinner and they're talking about us.
But think about how bad a breakup is and everybody talking about it.
It's like she wasn't right for him anyway.
Yeah, everyone making judgment on the breakup.
Yeah.
Picking sides.
And then the rebound is public too. Right. And then you have to see that. Yeah, everyone making judgment on the breakup. Yeah. Picking sides. And then the rebound is public, too.
Right.
And then you have to see that.
Yeah, it's tough.
My side would be Tiff.
Yeah, you'd have to.
Yeah.
You'd have to.
Yeah, like getting divorced and then start publicly dating someone like a month later.
That'd be crazy.
Yeah.
Talking about it on your podcast that's you can't
kyle i think you need the memphi hat oh i think it just matches pretty well i think you just yeah
you're you're you look like a recruit that just decided oh Oh, he did. He's going to Memphis.
I was going to Memphis.
Memphis.
There we go.
That's a huge get for Memphis.
That hat makes your head eight times larger.
Oh, no.
Go higher.
Yeah, you look like...
Pablo Sanchez in Backyard Baseball.
It looks like a totem pole.
The Funko things?
What was it called?
The Funko Pop.
You know.
I don't.
I know it's on Robbie's desk.
Yeah, Jeff D. Lowe's.
Jeff D. Lowe loves his Funkos.
Are we too dorkless in this office?
Who's our number one dork?
I think it's you.
You are our number one
dork. I'm number one dork. Gooch is
moving here though. Oh yeah.
Nerd. Big nerd. Connor Griffin's
up there. Oh my god. Oh yeah.
He's up there. Oh he's damn near a loser. He's memorized
every Game of Thrones episode title.
Yeah, he's a big Star Wars guy, too.
Star Wars guy, yeah.
Yeah, Connor's definitely a nerd.
Loser or nerd?
Oh.
How'd we do this?
Did he poop himself?
Wait, what's going on with this?
Did he shit his pants?
That's the only reason you'd ever do that, right?
Yeah, what the hell happened?
No.
He's trying to find a slob
hey yeah let's see it not you nah jake looks good yeah jake's fine i don't know if jake's ever been a slob yeah jake doesn't have slob in him i'm trying to see who the a slob.
Yeah.
Yeah, wearing his winter coat.
Go to the Yaks.
Go to the Yaks.
Brandon had to have pooped his pants.
What is going on right now?
What the fuck?
Oh, he peed himself.
Oh, no.
Did he pee on his pants? his way brandon turn around he
dribbled on his pants where's his butt he 100 let me see the front of you let's see it he
couldn't dribble on the court and yet let's see it let's see it he dribbled everywhere how bad
no no no no get get her off camera no no Pull up. How bad is the dribble?
I'm going to come do an in-person reveal.
Okay.
All right.
Come down here then.
Don't hurry too fast.
Did he actually pee his pants?
He had to have.
Had to have.
Does he have prostate issues?
He's wiping it now.
Is he missing and dribbling this much?
Yeah, he's trying to wipe it off.
Rude on dress-up day?
I really hope he did. That would make me respect him and like him way more
if he if he dribbled yes i've been dribbling more and more after post yeah yeah me too you have just
a bunch of dudes who just pee on the floor in this office notice that there's just pee on the
floor in front of the urinal there's piss everywhere it smells so bad there's bodily
puddles are like a residual bottle it's a
puddle that's on that's unacceptable oh yeah come here come here look at this look at this
fucking guy he's wearing a sweater or is that just a sweatshirt oh he is wearing uh no he doesn't
damn it god damn it yeah he looks all right get the fuck out of here shit where's blutman
he's i've seen him today in every single room in the office did
you see every time i walk past a room he's in it dude i love him he's the man frank just tweeting
it the wrong liam last night like five different times no what's he doing there's yeah he's been
in every room in this building frank and he watches every sporting event liam yeah he was up at five watching novak
yeah he does he he gets everything liam crowley uh who works in new york bubba
whoa stephanie he has been taping frank on stool scenes for how many years? I don't know. Liam Blutman, who works
here, met Frank for two minutes
and then Frank
tried to talk to Liam
Blutman online and just kept on tagging
Liam Crowley last night.
Liam, check this out. I didn't see that.
Alright, let's see. Yeah, let's see what you did.
Wait. Oh, no! that's not a dribble that's a dribble no it's not brandon that is not a dribble that's a pee in your pants that's a dribble no that is a whole it all just yeah yeah i peed on myself what happened
on dress up day two of all days i love that we sent you out to find three slobs and then you
yeah yeah slob at home slob at home here's my secret i pretty much piss my pants are you giving
us tips on how to piss your pants here's my know. I think it's a dress pant thing.
Every time I go, I piss my pants.
I just usually cover it up on the way back and just sit like this the rest of the show.
Just keep your dick out a little longer.
Did you piss on the floor?
No, I don't piss on the floor.
That's the problem.
I don't piss on the floor.
There's people in this office that piss on the floor.
No, we were just talking about it.
There's piss all over the floor.
There's piss all over the floor.
You're going to piss somewhere pissing your pants.
It's so much piss.
My dick doesn't know when it's finished.
What?
What?
I don't know when my dick's finished.
You could tell visually when there's no more piss.
No, my dick will fool you.
My dick plays me.
You shake it at all?
I get faked out.
My dick plays me.
You shake it at all?
I shake it, yeah.
I do everything.
It doesn't sound like you don't shake it.
I do everything the right way.
Sometimes I'll stop a full piss, think I'm done, go, oh, wait, have another full piss.
Whoa.
There's a lot left.
I had three pisses next to Titus yesterday.
Yeah.
I heard two of them.
I left for the third one.
Yep.
But I believe it.
It was the best one.
Yeah.
Yeah, pissed myself.
Just boop.
That's more than a dribble.
That's way more than a dribble.
That's a peacock, a streaming apparatus.
Yeah, you pissed more than Kyle did when he had to piss his pants from the wheel.
Yeah, that was embarrassing.
You have a peacock streaming apparatus.
Yes.
Which are two synonyms.
That worked out so well.
So perfect.
Yeah, this is...
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Who got got?
TJ.
TJ, you have Frank muted?
Oh, no.
Got got.
But what happened?
Hey, Liam, check this out.
He just kept on tweeting the wrong Liam.
And it was, yeah, it was like some, like, old.
It was a beautiful moment.
Frank and Liam Blutman.
Liam Blutman was wearing, like, some kind of E-C-L-E-H-L jersey.
Yeah.
Frank, instant.
Friends for life.
Have you talked about publicly what his dad does
liam blutman no are we allowed yeah so what is it something cool he invented boy meets world yeah
boy meets world yeah yeah pretty fucking cool that's fucking cool pretty fucking uh-huh
pretty fucking cool and liam has a bunch of guys in pro sports does he yeah i didn't know that and he has an eye
for talent he does he gets in on them early he gets in on guys early tweets about like puka nakua
2020 yeah he saw dame lillard at a g league competition what when he was nothing at a weber
state wow came up to him said you're gonna be an all-star one day. Dame laughed and said, I'm just hoping to get some minutes.
Holy shit.
Wow.
So he should be a GM.
He was on Rashi Rice in like 2019.
Really?
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
He's a stud.
Ronnie Rivers?
Ronnie Rivers.
Great name.
Is that a real person?
Yeah, he's on the Rams.
Ronnie Rivers?
Yeah.
We all bet him to score a touchdown.
Ronnie the Ram Rivers.
Never got to carry.
He's current?
Yeah.
He was the backup to Kyron Williams the other day.
Oh.
It's great.
It's a name you won't forget.
Ronnie Rivers.
I'll bet him, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, no, he doesn't.
He will never score.
Oh, the Rams are out. Yeah. Well, no, he doesn't. He will never score. Oh, the Rams are out.
Yeah.
Well, no, but he will never score anybody.
Why is Che laughing hysterically?
Brandon, name as many Rams running backs as you can.
Eric Dickerson.
Marcus Dupree.
Sure.
Marshall Falk.
Yeah.
Trunk Candidate.
Wait, wait, wait.
Trunk Candidate?
Yeah, why?
I don't know who Trunk Candidate is.
That's cool. He's correct. What? Okay. All right. Heung candidate? Yeah, why? I don't know who Trung candidate is. That's cool.
He's correct.
What?
All right.
He played for the Rams, right?
Yeah, I just said you're correct.
98 speed on Madden.
Steven Jackson.
Great.
And then recent years, obviously, Cam Akers.
How many do you want?
You're missing a very big one.
Yeah, a very big, obvious one.
Two very big ones.
Did I say Marshall Falk? Yeah. Yeah, but two very big ones. Oh, Jerome Bettis. Yes. And another one. very big one. Yeah, a very big, obvious one. Two very big ones. Did I say Marshall Falk?
Yeah.
Oh, Jerome Bettis.
Yes.
And another one.
Another big one.
Said Eric Dickerson.
I said Marshall Falk, Stephen Jackson.
Really big one.
Todd Gurley.
There we go.
Is that enough?
That was the big one.
Okay.
There was at least one more.
I wouldn't argue.
I wouldn't say Gurley.
Sonny Michel?
Yeah, you could have said Sonny Michel.
You could have said Zach Stacey or Trey Mason. Could have. But Zach Stacey got arrested for assaulting a woman. Oh, I wouldn't argue that. I wouldn't say Sony Michelle. Yeah, you could have said Sony Michelle. You could have said Zach Stacey or Trey Mason, but could have
Zach Stacey assaulting a woman. So
I didn't like. Yeah, that was a brutal
video. Yeah, trunk
anybody else name nine
Rams running backs off the dome.
Yeah. How about you? How about
Cardinals right now? Cardinals running backs nine
David Johnson, Connor
Emmett Smith,
David Johnson,
Andre Ellington.
This is the whole team.
Beanie Wells.
Beanie Wells.
Good one.
Akron, Ohio.
It was just one of me.
Edgerton James.
Edgerton James.
It was just one of me.
Now it's five of you guys.
So I think that's nine.
Yeah.
That wasn't nine either.
Yeah.
That was easy.
You can do that.
Go ahead.
Try to get it.
Chris Johnson.
Yep.
All right, Mook.
Name nine commanders running Johnson. Yep. All right, Moot.
Name nine commanders running backs. Whoa.
Okay, so we have Clinton Portis.
Yep.
We have Brian Robinson.
Yep.
We have the dude Chris Rodriguez.
Yep.
That's three.
That's three.
Only a third of the way there.
Robert Griffin.
Robert Griffin was a running back.
That's a running back. He was a running back there. Robert Griffin. Robert Griffin was a running back.
That's a running back.
He was a running back.
Come on, Danny. He was a running back.
He was a running back.
Come on, buddy.
I'm blanking.
What?
Not that easy, is it, boys?
No, it is easy.
Need a little pee in your pants.
Alfred Morris.
Alfred Morris.
His last name was Kelly.
He was a big boy.
John Riggins.
Rob Kelly.
Rob Kelly. Rob Kelly. Again, this is now involving the booth. I think you got it. That's nine. That's nine. That was Kelly. He was a big boy. John Riggins. Rob Kelly. Rob Kelly.
Again, this is now involving the booth.
I think you got it.
That's nine.
That was six.
That's nine.
That's nine.
Easy.
You can't stump any of us.
Mr. Piss.
Just a little bit.
Were you a bed wetter?
No.
These pants just show pee.
There are certain pants.
Yeah.
You can get away with, like, some black pants.
No, I don't think it's the pants.
I think you peed your pants.
It's the piss in the pants.
No, the pants show pee.
They're actually, it's the pleat of the pants.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Got it.
And they really, they don't dry.
No.
Can't dry them.
It's true.
If I pissed myself all over right now, you guys wouldn't really know because they're blue pants.
I think we'd know.
Yeah, we'd know.
Okay.
It's hard not to know with Brandon.
Try it.
Let's see.
Do half a piss.
Are any of you guys bedwetters?
Are we both drinking this water?
Oh, that's yours.
The fuck?
That's fine.
No, I know it's fine, but how many times did we-
It's 100% yours. Did you- You can have it now. Yeah, I just started. No, I know it's fine, but how many times did we... It's 100% yours.
Did you...
You can have it now.
Yeah, I just started.
Yeah, you have it.
I don't want it to be like that.
No, but you have it.
I say we share it now.
I'm good.
He only wanted one drink.
I think I'm good.
Yeah.
No, it's yours.
My bad.
No, no, it's okay.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Yeah, yeah, take it.
Trunk Candidate played for the Arizona Wildcats,
and he was notable on Madden because he was 98 speed.
Oh.
And he was a great addition to your team as a backup running back.
Was he an Asian fellow?
No.
Trunk?
No.
Okay.
I don't know what to tell you.
Never heard that name before.
No, on Madden 2005, you wanted him as a running back,
and you wanted Azahir Hakeem as a receiver, right?
Wasn't he 99 speed?
Yes, he was very fast.
There you go.
That's really good.
Thank you.
Yeah, that was cool.
You know a lot.
As someone who pisses their pants, you know a lot.
You're probably the smartest pants pisser out there.
I bet you steven hawking
was really drained oh yeah yeah yeah how did he piss oh he probably had one of those bags he
probably had a tunnel yeah that's still pissing your pants if it's in a bag in the pants i don't
think so yes you don't control it if it's in the pants if the bag is in your pants that would be
pissing in your pants if i shit into a bag and it never touched my pants, is that still shitting my pants?
Yeah, you shit a diaper.
Yeah, you just shit your pants.
If you're wearing an adult diaper and you shit, did you shit your pants or did you shit your diaper?
Shit your pants.
These are the great philosophical questions of our time.
If I shit into a diaper and put it in your pants, I shit your pants.
You can't shit my pants.
Oh, you can shit your pants. Have you ever shit somebody else's pants? I'll shit your pants by the end of the year. You're not going to in your pants. I shit your pants. You can't shit my pants. Oh, he can shit your pants.
Have you ever shit somebody else's pants?
I'll shit your pants by the end of the year.
You're not going to shit my pants.
I promise you I will.
Who shit these pants?
You won't know when it's coming.
Don't you shit my pants.
I'm going to shit your pants.
That's a good game.
Shit in your pants.
It's like a gym class game.
Yeah.
It's like Squirrel where you run around trying to grab the whatever.
I never played Squirrel when we went to the same school.
Next shit my pants again.
Gotcha.
You're gross, man.
Squirrel might be right.
It's like Capture the Flag.
Or Flag Football.
Like a piece of a shirt hanging out your back?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You gotta grab it from the squirrel.
Is it dry yet?
It's getting close.
Nice.
Nick, I want you to nuke his pants.
Oh my God, it'll be disgusting.
Diarrhea, though.
People are going to hate you. You, I want you to nuke his pants. Oh, my God. It'll be disgusting. Diarrhea, though.
People are going to hate you.
You're going to have to go home.
It'll just be in a bag.
It'll be in your back pocket.
How do I explain that to my wife, though?
You shit your pants? Nick shit my pants.
Yeah, Nick shit my pants.
That's the end of the explanation right there.
Nick shit my pants.
I'll get ya
oh damn it
someone shit my pants
what is this bag in my back pocket
someone do the high noon ad
yeah
do it
I got my own
you're not even allowed to touch the copy
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Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
You really pronounce that P in raspberry.
I do.
It's in there.
Rasputin.
I've been meaning to talk to you
about the way you pronounce a word too, Mook.
Which word?
Hit me.
Hit me, big man.
Museum.
Museum.
Oh.
I want to go to a man. Museum. Museum. Oh. I want to go to a museum.
Museum.
Museum.
Museum.
Museum.
What are you doing?
You're saying museum.
When did this start with you?
You're saying museum.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Museum.
Museum.
It's a museum.
Nah, it's a museum.
It's not a museum.
It's a museum.
It's a museum.
You're closer than he is
brandon what is this museum museum museum yeah i grew up museum museum museum i don't like that
museum like zaym museum museum museum again i don't i get a little pee in my pants and i
think my least favorite version of brandon things start coming out. Oh, there's way worse versions.
Yeah, this is like.
Pronunciation police Brandon.
You're from the south.
You're from the south.
Do you say crayon too?
Crayon.
Crown.
I hate crown.
Crown.
Crown.
Yeah.
Okay, you guys are being ridiculous.
Yeah, that sounds dumb.
Crown.
What, crown?
Yeah.
Yeah, we've talked.
Crayon.
You realize you're saying the word crown.
I get a red crown.
Yeah, it's called a dialect.
Look it up. You're saying another word. Yeah, but you're. Crayon. You realize you're saying the word crown. I get a red crown. Yeah, it's called a dialect. Look it up.
You're saying another word.
Yeah, but you're working media.
You're not saying another word.
Drop it.
You're not saying another word.
You're saying the word the way you say the word.
But you're saying it the way you say another word.
But you're saying the word the way you say the word.
Brandon, can you talk normal?
Can you, like, put on a normal voice?
Why did you ask it like that?
I want to see if you can do it.
It was like when the Irish person says, like, cheeseburger.
Yeah. Can't read that. I was going like when the Irish person says cheeseburger. Yeah.
Can't read that.
I was going to do
the last.
Do the game time ad.
I'll do the around the office.
No, do the game time ad.
All right.
You shouldn't have to.
Okay, keep going.
You shouldn't have to worry
when you're buying tickets
to your next big event.
No, I still hear it.
I still definitely.
Where do I need to?
I don't think you control it.
It's in your throat.
It definitely is.
Take the marbles out of your mouth.
I think the throat muscles are built differently.
Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy.
Yeah, it's your voice.
It still sounds like you.
It's the throat muscles.
Game time.
No. Go with that. Go with that. It's the throat muscles. Game time. No.
Go with that.
Go with that.
Go with that whisper voice.
Go with more sophisticated whisper.
In a world.
Game time.
Game time is the fast and easy way.
A median.
I don't think there's any accent you could put on that would fool me that it's not Brandon.
Brandon, do the deep in a world voice.
In a world.
Game time.
Whoa, weird. Is the
fast and easy way to buy tickets
for all the sports, music, comedy
and theater events near you.
I like that. Keep going.
That was the best yet.
They have
easy to find and buy tickets
for every kind of event in your area.
Why are you yelling at us?
I have to.
Now do like Chris Rock voice.
They're obsessed with finding ways to help you save money on tickets.
Pretty good.
Okay.
Good job, Brad.
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Titus, you brought up something there uh that brandon correcting pronunciation is your
least favorite brandon we should hear our least favorite yeah we should we definitely should yeah
that's complaining about rassling brandon yeah well it's gonna be an interesting few days for
that why i don't i just i oh because erica's gone you think it's back it's no no i'm
just saying i don't like uh hard cock brandon okay or no no i do you do like hard i do like
hard cock brand you don't like soft yeah i don't like when he's on the zola yeah yeah yeah oh i see
okay yeah i like you with a hard ass cock hard cock brandon would be a cool wrestler name all
right hard cock brandon hard cock brandon got it if we do yak yard wrestling i will be hard Yeah, I like you with a hard-ass cock. Hard Cock Brandon would be a cool wrestler name. All right, Hard Cock Brandon.
Hard Cock Brandon.
Got it.
If we do Yack Yard Wrestling, I will be Hard Cock Brandon.
We will.
Fat Cock Kyle.
Can't be two cocks, though.
That would be a good duo.
Proportionally girthy Kyle.
Brandon going versus Fat Cock Kyle.
Proportionally girthy Kyle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not even – I'm standing on that.
Yeah.
I'm not embarrassed that I thought I was a girth guy
and still might think I once was proportionately
girthier than most.
Did it slim out?
Well, if you put his cock on like a 6'3", man, it's not girth.
I'd never do that.
That's crazy.
That's my height.
I would look ridiculous with your cock.
I'm sure your cock on.
Yeah, let me see your cock for a minute.igger is that kyle's cock that doesn't go together
dude imagine that me with your cock it's like wearing black shoes and a brown belt yeah i can't
do that does it come with the pubes too no just the cock it's the cock balls stay here ever does oh what a mind
fuck i'm sorry i'll be like an mc escher painting i couldn't even decipher it
so stupid oh he's happy again he's got kyle's car no no no, what's the matter, man? I feel ridiculous.
I'm wearing Kyle's cock again.
I got dressed in the dark.
Dressed in the dark, I put on Kyle's cock.
Can't even note it.
Notice.
I feel like such a fucking idiot.
His cock goes with none of my pants. Looks wider on him.
Got a swarm.
I went to Nordstrom.
They gave me Kyle's cock.
Yeah, I did.
I mean, oh, my God.
I feel like a fool.
I like playing with these rubber pants.
Steven, what's up with you and hammocks?
What?
What's up?
How come hammocks are not more
popular it's a fair question i don't think they're as comfortable as they look i also
think they're exactly the same the right popularity i don't think it's like the ultimate it's marketed
as like the ultimate relaxing lounge chair. You might be right.
If that's true, I feel like 30% of people should own hammocks.
What is it, like 5% if that?
You also, you can fall out of a hammock so easily.
Is that right?
Yeah.
They'll throw you.
Hammock will toss your ass.
That'd be a tough way to get injured.
Yeah. I think that'd be fine where are your glasses steven in my bathroom i don't like you this is dress up steven without
glasses oh he definitely thinks he looks hot as fuck oh his sexiest picture is him holding the
snake we all know it the snake picture picture. Oh, yeah. He loves that picture.
It's true.
What's your sexiest pic?
That's for the whole room.
I don't think I have one.
Yeah.
Brandon, what's your...
You change your profile picture more than anybody.
I do.
You do?
Yeah, I change it about once a month.
Why?
That's crazy.
I don't know.
That's nuts.
Somebody will send me a new one, and I like it, and I'll just say I'll throw it up.
Is this a picture of you?
Yeah.
Right now, it's from the college football show, I think.
That's a wild move.
That's not a wild move.
No, I think I've changed my profile picture like twice.
That's you.
People get used to what they see.
I give them a new brand every now and then.
I don't think I'm – yeah, I've never changed.
Just dawned on me that I don't take a lot of pictures.
I don't get in a lot of pictures.
Yeah, I was talking yesterday.
That's regrettable.
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I'm not, I'm not the guy that's like,
hey, can you take a picture of us real quick?
Take a picture of, I'm at the Eiffel Tower.
Will you please take my picture?
Oh, no.
Actually.
I don't, I don't, I'm not in a picture. I've never asked for. I'm not in a lot of pictures. at the Eiffel Tower Will you please take my picture Oh no Actually I don't I'm not in a picture
I've never asked for
I'm not in a lot of pictures
Assignment for everybody tomorrow
If you were to make a
Hinge profile
What five photos
Of yourself
Oh
We'll bring them in
And we'll explain
Why we picked them
Oh
I don't think I have
I don't
Yeah I don't have
A lot of photos of myself
It's sad
You gotta get more photos
Of yourself I think about Let's have a photo of photos of myself. It's sad. You've got to get more photos of yourself.
Let's have a photo day.
I think about it.
Yeah.
Can we just get our own?
Do we have yearbook day?
Can we go to Sears and fucking...
Yeah, let's go to Sears and get a photo.
Take our head shots?
Yeah.
Buy us a cameraman.
Get a photographer in here to take our...
Sully.
Glamour shots.
Sully's back.
He's got way too much of a tan.
Really?
I'm mad at him.
Yuck.
He left for so long
I missed him
Did ya?
Yeah I missed him a lot
And now that he's back?
Yeah I'm mad that he left
Okay
So I'm going through that right now
Yeah
Just doing my job
Why'd you leave me?
Just doing my jam
Can you get Fasoli?
Can you just take our pictures?
We're dressed up
Yeah wait this is the perfect day to do it
go get him right now
yeah he's here he's back
come to grab his camera we'll go out and take pictures
let's pretend like we're at a function
oh
we're not trying too hard to like
oh yeah yeah he can take still you know like
yeah should we go over to like the kitchen
perfect time for the snake photo
oh I mean he's right but there's snakes on him Should we go over to the kitchen? Let's do a couple in pairs. A couple in pairs. Perfect time for the snake photo.
Oh.
I mean, he's right.
Oh, wow. But there's snakes on him.
Yeah, it's a shame there's snakes on you.
That's as good as he's capable of looking, though.
That is probably the best he's ever looked.
But there's snakes on him.
That immediately takes him down.
I think it brings him up.
There's snakes on him.
No, snakes are the worst.
People who own snakes are the weirdest.
Well, look how relaxed he is about the snakes.
Do you guys know people who own snakes?
RDT, I think.
Yeah.
He might be worse than a snake.
He might be.
Oh, is he a snake?
Is he a gecko?
That's fine.
Geckos are fine.
Spiders are the weirdest.
Spiders are weird.
Tarantulas.
Tarantulas, yeah.
My buddy bought a black widow. I like what what why of that he's
like I found it all it was like rare it's like yeah the thing's gonna fuck you up yeah kill you
yeah Omarosa anybody ever rest in peace got a spider Duncan yeah everyone gets spider bites
well like a like a poisonous like I think I have something that bit me last night.
Oh, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's bothering me.
If anybody could diagnose that.
That looks like floor burn.
Floor burn?
That looks like some sort of burn.
I don't know.
Remember when we just accepted, like, oh, we inhale seven spiders a year.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, fuck.
Eight spiders in your life, yeah.
Oh, there he is.
You waited till Fasoli.
White Sox Dave, you look a little dressed down today.
Brandon looks like a slob.
No, Brandon looks good.
That's his funeral fit.
Do you have anything to say for yourself for not dressing up today?
It's work.
I know.
I got to be better.
Things are changing around here.
We're going business or actual business attire now.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got that tailored suit from the Francis video last year.
Beautiful.
You look good in that video.
Thank you.
I remember that.
That was a great video.
It was a great video.
You miss him?
A little bit.
A little bit.
You guys going to do that again?
Yeah. I was talking to him about it yesterday.. You guys are going to do that again? Yeah.
I was talking to him about it yesterday.
When?
We're going to take him into my world.
Oh.
Yeah, like the underbelly of the Titanic.
Oh.
We're going to do the tiptoes.
White Sox tailgate?
You're going to drown.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Where are you going to take him?
I want to take the – in my brain, I want to take him to Windsor, Canada.
Okay.
I want KB therapy. That's where you scuzzB there I know that's where you scuzz it off
I had never been out of the country I have been
but KB hadn't been
you said I've never been out of the country
I have been
I thought you don't even have a passport
you said I've never been out of the country
I have been
at the time when we were playing in Windsor I hadn't
but since then,
I had never been out.
So you said, I had never been out of the country.
I have been.
When we originally were talking about
scuzzing it up in Windsor, Canada.
At the time, I hadn't been out of the country yet.
Now, since that conversation
originally, I've... Have you been to Windsor?
I have not.
You're having him live in your... No, we haven't been to Windsor. When did you go So wait You're taking him to You're having him live in your
No we haven't been to Windsor
When did you go out of the country?
The Dominican
Donnie last year
But wait
You said you were gonna take him
Into your life
Yeah
So you're gonna take him
To do something you've never done
Well I wanted to just get
Scuzzy with him
Trashy
Your life is scuzz
Yeah
And Windsor I've heard
Is like the trashiest place on earth
What's the scuzziest thing
You've ever done?
Give us a place Like what's the scuzziest thing you've ever done? Give us a place.
What's the scuzziest place?
Country Thunder was the first thing that came to my head.
Have you ever been to that?
Yes.
You should also take him to the indoor water parks in Wisconsin.
At the Kalahari.
Yeah.
Is that trash?
He wanted to do that anyway.
I mean, indoor water park in the middle of winter is definitely not like the –
you don't feel the most comfortable.
Brandon, you did that recently.
Indoor water park?
Yeah.
Yeah, in Gurney.
Yeah, you should do that.
Oh, Brandon.
He'd be disgusting.
Don't let him wear flip flops.
Oh, Francis.
Airfoot Francis.
No, he's going to Target and getting that $15 bathing suit.
Yes.
He's doing things how I do them.
Yes.
And then everybody in an indoor water park has a pretty bad scar on their back.
Yeah.
At least a scar.
An inactive band-aid.
Somewhere.
There's always one.
On their toe, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They have lesions.
Active band-aid.
What would be an inactive band-aid?
It's true.
I mean, the band-aid's covering something.
Yeah.
That's like oozing or
Yeah only the wounded go to waterparks
Only the recently wounded
That'd be a great video
Yeah
So yeah that's what
Now that we're settled in the new digs
What did you think of Put-In-Bay
On like a scuzz level
That was the scuzziest place I've ever been in my life
You've been multiple times correct?
Four Yeah Eddie goes every year still Like unironically That was the scuzziest place I've ever been in my life. You've been multiple times, correct? Four.
Yeah, Eddie goes every year still.
Unironically, he just goes with his friends.
That's the scuzziest place I've ever been.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting.
The only thing that eats a Subway on the island.
Hotel lobby.
Yeah.
Have you been to Cairo, Illinois?
I have not.
Supposed to be very scuzzy.
Yeah.
I like how you pronounce it correctly.
Not Cairo.
It's Cairo.
Yeah.
It might be borderline like too dead.
Yeah.
There's only like a thousand people that live there.
I'm very interested in it.
Yeah.
I'll drive down there with you.
Want to go?
No.
I guess not.
Why don't you want to go?
I've seen video. I got the gist. It's like Gary, Indiana. Yeah. That don't you want to go? I've seen video.
I got the gist.
It's like Gary, Indiana.
Yeah, that's basically what it is.
Yeah, the population's gone from 15,000 to 1,000 people.
I think at one point it was supposed to be a huge metro area.
So it's on the confluence of the Mississippi.
Yeah, it's right on the river down in the south part of Illinois.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
We're going to suit in tomorrow. I can. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wear your suit in tomorrow.
I can do that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is this the rest of the week or just from here on out?
No, we're just doing it today.
We just thought we'd dress up.
I think people will be more productive if they're uncomfortable.
I feel, yeah, I feel uncomfortable.
Mm-hmm.
Which one of us looks like we're the CEO of this company now?
KB. KB. I'll say it. KB. CEO of this company now? KB.
I'll say it.
KB.
Yeah, I think it is KB.
KB, like young hotshot.
Yeah, he looks like a little finance douche that's going to happy hour.
KB looks like a CEO.
I just lost my biggest bet on women's tennis.
Yeah.
I put it on Anz Shabur, and she lost to a 16-year-old.
Oh.
Your biggest bet?
I was so so sure
of Anz Jaber
is that a Blutman bet or is that
she's a veteran she's been in multiple
Grand Slam finals and she's facing a
16 year old I guess this is like the best
16 year old in the world tennis is the one
sport that might very well be fixed
and I watched it's so exhausting
to watch yeah
I'm done with it.
Yeah, KB's the CEO.
I look like a fucking country club douchebag.
Brandon looks like he's just about to take his family that he hates to lunch after church.
Nick, you look like an awesome.
I look like a history professor that sleeps with every student.
No, I was just saying, you look like a history professor that sleeps with every student, boy or girl.
You look like a bartender at a bar that also has tattoos.
Maybe motorbikes, too.
Cool, okay.
You don't know how to make any drink.
No, no, no.
You know how to open up a Coors Original.
I'd be cool with that.
I like that.
I'm fine with that.
Mook.
Yeah, you got into your dad's closet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad was there.
You got into your dad's closet, and you also got into his cabinet with the Oxys.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm about to sell you a bad mortgage on Long Island.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Titus, you just look good.
Yeah, you look pretty normal.
Oh, thanks, guys.
Oh, bad shot.
Is that how you had to dress every day?
No, I don't even know where I got these clothes.
I think I just stole them.
Isn't it shocking how little, maybe you guys are way different,
but when I look through my closet, there's nothing there that's nice.
I have about three options.
It's 95% Barstool.
It's disgusting.
And hoodies. It's like I have so many hoodies It's 95% Barstool. Disgusting. And hoodies.
It's like I have so many hoodies and nothing else.
This is my only colored shirt.
I have more shirts that say bitch on them than this.
Genuinely.
Did any of you guys have to dress up like this for real at any other job?
Dan, did you?
No, it was like khakis.
I never had to.
It was like khakis and a polo.
Yeah, I was khakis and a button-up. Or a button-. Khakis. I never had to. It was like khakis and a polo. Yeah. Yeah, it was khakis and like a button-up.
Yeah, or a button-up as well.
I never had to wear a suit.
I had to at a couple of newspapers.
Suit?
You had to wear a suit?
I don't know.
I'd wear this.
Pretty much this exact outfit, yeah.
Wearing a suit every day to work would suck so bad.
And a tie.
I wore a tie every day.
Tie every day?
Did you untie it or were you lazy?
No, I would always.
I enjoy tying ties. Just once I learned it was a skill that I liked to prove that I had every day did you untie it or were you lazy no i would always i i enjoy tying ties
just once i learned it was a skill that i like to prove that i had every day
so i would do that did you have to dress up no thank god yeah there's got to be some sort of
psychological people are i'm in work mode when i'm dressed up yes the relief of getting home
must be awesome. Amazing.
Mr. Rogers walking in the door, putting on his cardigan and putting on his inside.
Yeah, I think it's ultimately good for you to have bare hands.
It separates your livelihoods.
Yeah.
I used to get home and strip naked.
The first thing I would do is just get butt-ass naked.
Butt-ass naked?
Yeah.
Yeah, because of the suit.
But when you see guys in a suit in the middle of summer.
That sucks. Yeah, but you see a dude like a suit in the middle of summer That sucks
Yeah but you see a dude that's dressed up out to lunch
He looks cool
Yeah
And you would stay on top of the rest of your hygiene
You think he's got money
Yeah you do
Even if he doesn't you think so
I like fat guys in suits
Do you?
Oh yeah
Yeah there's something about them
Oh they look so uncomfortable
Yeah I know
Fat guys
They're hanging on the belt
But they're still doing it.
They're still wearing the suit.
That's why wrestlers in suits is the most impressive thing ever.
That's Kyle.
When Triple H would wear suits, they look better than.
That's literally what Kyle looks like right now.
Yeah, he looks like Triple H.
Fucking Triple H, dude.
Thank you.
Yeah.
He's got the sleeves rolled up.
His forearms are just popping.
Yeah, I've been doing kettlebell forearm workouts
I can tell man
You can because I can
He looks better in a suit
Should we try to roll up to an office right now?
Try to get in?
We're going to roll up
Should we call Brett?
Yeah wait let's do a reverse roll up
Reverse roll up
I would do that right now
Let's go to wherever Brett works
Let's see how far we can get into a big office building.
Okay.
I think we could.
In New York, in Wall Street, we probably couldn't get far,
but I feel like in Chicago, we could probably get up.
You could probably get up to the C3.
Get on the elevator.
Yeah, I think you could get up.
Is that illegal?
No.
Yes, it's private property.
Definitely.
But if we just walked in and got onto the elevator and we could feign ignorance, like,
oh, I thought this was my place.
This is my place of business.
The goal would be to gossip with the reception desk.
I'd want to get one snack from their snack room and leave.
Oh, they have such good snacks.
Like a bagel?
Yeah.
There's so much nice, I mean, like.
I want to go in and steal somebody's lunch and leave.
We have a five year old
Snack room
Yeah
That's just cool
We have like different
Like mixes of nuts
If you wanted to sneak
Into Barstool
What would you wear?
Exactly what Dave's wearing
Yeah
Right
Yeah
Yeah cause if you dressed up
People would be like
What are you doing?
Yeah
So let that be a lesson
out there to people put on sweats and walk in dress down all right dave well thank you thank
you guys how was the interview it was actually very good and i am i'll tease it out a little
bit alex brown and i feel are in complete lockstep with the quarterback situation
oh kayla williams yeah okay that's the guy i'm there i'm there we're there okay yep i think a
lot of the fan bases is finally i'm finally gotten on board i just want something new chicago
will never accept a guy that wears nail polish
oh is that dennis rodman yeah oh fuck Dennis Rodman is basically the answer to all of those questions.
Jim McMahon was out there, too.
Yeah.
Okay, never mind.
Yeah.
We're good.
Superstar.
Yeah, he's going to be great for you guys.
He's going to be awesome.
Stop, Titus.
He will be.
I just want something new.
I know that sounds ridiculous.
Yeah, I know fields play well, but how often do you get the opportunity to draft a guy
who some people have thought at some point was generational?
Right.
Yeah.
And it's new.
Yeah, it's new.
And I think the thing with Fields, he was good,
but he held onto the ball a little too long,
tried to make the big plays a little too much,
a little too much flash to his game.
Yeah, Caleb Williams.
And you get a chance to get a guy like Caleb Williams.
I don't like what he's doing.
Tell him to stop, Brandon.
Who just knows how to play the game the right way.
Tell him to stop, Brandon.
That's going to solve all the problems.
See what he's doing because Caleb Williams plays like the way he just described.
It'll be great.
It'll be great.
The Bears will be very good.
Bill Belichick and Justin Fields will be in Atlanta,
and I'm sure they won't have any success whatsoever.
That is a cuck move if the Falcons hire Bill Belichick.
Giant cuck move. Huge cuck move. Also, I hire Bill Belichick. Giant cuck move.
Huge cuck move.
Also, I think Justin Fields is going to be a stealer.
Oh.
Huh.
What makes you say that?
I think it would be very fun.
Oh, I could see that.
It's also not fun sometimes.
No.
But how many quarterbacks are not not fun sometimes?
Lamar is always fun.
Mahomes is always fun.
Josh Allen's always fun.
Yep.
Oh, God.
What was that laugh?
Yeah, what was that laugh?
That was a big Che laugh on the Josh Allen fun.
There's even bad quarterbacks are always fun. Isn't Russell Wilson always fun? No, Russell Wilson is not always fun. Gard on the Josh Allen fun. There's even bad quarterbacks that are always fun.
Isn't Russell Wilson always fun?
No, Russell is not always fun.
Gardner Minshew, fun.
He's always fun.
Baker's fun?
Baker's fun?
Baker's fun.
Baker's fun.
Russell's not always fun.
Russell's a bummer.
He's had some fun streaks.
Yeah, but he can be a real bummer.
So fun is just like tossing it up.
Yeah, just kind of hoping it works.
Tyler's fun. Tyler's a lot of fun. – Yeah, just kind of hoping it works. Tyler's fun.
Tyler's a lot of fun.
Is Brock Purdy zero fun?
Zero fun.
Zero fun, sir.
Flacco's fun.
Oh, Flacco's so much fun.
Fun now.
No, he's always been fun.
He's always been fun.
Who's the least fun?
He throws like – he just throws deep balls or interceptions.
He's so much fun.
Who's the least fun legendary quarterback?
Least fun legend?
Yeah.
Montana wasn't that fun.
Breeze, I never thought Breeze was fun.
Oh, Breeze let it rip in the dome.
I would say Brady.
No, because winning is fun.
Wait, he might be the least fun.
Brady.
Dumping it off the fucking.
Montana threw nothing but short passes.
Brady.
Yeah.
Favre was fun.
A blast.
Favre was too fun. Yeah. Favre was too fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brady's very fun.
No, not you.
Because you win.
Not you.
All the legendary quarterbacks won.
That's why they're legends.
I've watched probably more War and Moon than anyone in this building.
You know who's that?
You know who's that? I was kidding. Oh, building. False. I was kidding.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
The actual answer may be.
I don't want to rile you up.
The actual answer may be, and he wasn't that great,
but Alex Smith was never fun.
Yes.
Never.
Never.
He did a.
No, he was never fun.
He had an entire year where he didn't throw a touchdown to a tight end.
Right.
That was fun.
No, wide receiver.
Wide receiver.
What? Yeah. Yeah. The Chiefs didn't get a touchdown to a tight end right that was fun no wide receiver wide receiver yeah what yeah yeah yeah the chiefs didn't get a touchdown by a wide receiver for like
they had larry johnson and uh oh my god you have a lot of good running yeah yeah that was that was
fun to watch like he's not going to do it yeah but that's not he was never fun just throw those
underneath stafford fun stafford's a lot of fun. Yeah?
So much fun.
Because he just chucks it.
So the good quarterbacks are fun is what we're talking about. No, it's also just the guys who will take risks.
Like Tannehill's not fun, but he's not good.
That's what I'm saying.
Who's a good quarterback?
Alex Smith was a pretty good quarterback.
Was he not?
Did he make a Pro Bowl? He definitely made a Pro Bowl, right? Yeah. He had one pretty good quarterback. Was he not? Did he make a Pro Bowl?
He definitely made a Pro Bowl, right?
Yeah.
He had one really good year.
Yeah.
Man, this is a good question.
I don't think Dak is fun.
Yeah, I don't think Dak is fun at all.
Dak's fun.
Come on, Dak's fun.
No, he's not.
Dak's a good answer.
Dak is a very good answer.
Dak's fun.
He's not fun at all.
No, he's not fun.
At all.
If he's so fun, why were the Cowboys
fans so sad when they last saw
Dak play? Because they lost. That was not
fun. That was the opposite
of fun. Not fun at all.
So you don't have to be good to be fun, but
if you're the best, if you're one of the best,
you are fun. Correct. Yeah.
That seems to be... You know who had a wild variation
between being fun and not fun?
Eli would be.
Yeah, Eli was not fun for a while.
But then he would be fun.
Yeah, he was funny, but he was not fun.
You're right.
That might be the best answer.
That's the best answer.
Yeah.
Eli would turn the fun on.
What about Peyton?
Time to time.
Was Peyton fun?
Peyton was so fun.
Peyton was so fun.
That Broncos.
He would fucking shock. Yeah. Also, Peyton was so fun. Peyton was so fun. That Bronco's goddamn awesome. He would fucking shock.
Also, Peyton was the king of throwing
passes that would get his wide receivers killed.
Destroyed. Cussed. Just
murdered. Remember what was it? Anthony Gonzalez?
Austin Colley? Austin
Colley. Yeah. He got like 16 concussions
in like the first year. Yeah, Wes
Welker. Austin Colley, fun fact
about he invented the
Tyrannosaurus Rex arms. No way. Yeah, they never had those in the NFL until Austin Colley. And two about he invented the Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.
No way.
Yeah, they never had those in the NFL until Austin Colley.
Yeah, the two studied the film.
I need to do that.
Yeah, I should do that too.
It's the most feared.
But Austin Colley, first guy to ever get concussed to such a level.
He got hit back to ancient times.
Still one of the best things was when Jake went to a Dolphins-Jets game
and he said the Jets fans were mocking him and doing the two of fingers.
And he was so shaken up and I just was laughing so hard.
That is so funny.
That's such a funny visual.
Hey, Marsh.
Hey, Jake.
Hey, Marsh.
You're so offended.
I was like, that rules.
Like, oh, you're quarterback.
Oh. rules like oh your quarterback didn't trump make fun of a guy with like some sort of palsy
and yeah oh yeah that was funny too yeah yes trump some sort of palsy he had one of the palsies
this is gonna be a big trump content year oh i He's hitting on all the cylinders right now. He's so funny.
Ravi, what is his name?
Vivek. I was hoping he
lasted longer.
People are chanting VP for him.
He was born in like
a factory. Yes.
Of just
weird, like, he's just like
he's trying to be human.
Remember, did you see that video of him
rapping no i don't i don't think he was rapping eminem or something everyone's like what's going
on dude politicians just trying to be human it's always remember beto skateboarding just in a
parking lot oh yeah that was that sucked oh that's a bummer don't do that don't ever and hearing he says
fuck every once in a while oh don't yeah don't do that be boring yeah be as boring who is a fun
politician no jfk trump trump is trump obvious trump is very fun jfk had fun yeah and zero fun he went for one clinton had fun but it was a lead you know
it's fun riding in a convertible zero fun yeah he had a ton of fun
one of you guys should get a convertible yeah okay and should yeah people still get
personally i don't even like the ultimate as a to me, it was like the ultimate sign of wealth.
Yes.
I thought that.
Yes.
I thought if you had a convertible, you're fucking rich.
But then they made the Miata, and it kind of ruined it.
And made the convertible accessible.
Because everyone got the Miata, yeah.
And then what was the other one that they made that was with Michael Scott?
Sebring?
Yeah.
Sebring really took a lot of it out of them.
Yeah.
For a while, it was like, if you owned a Porsche or a convertible. Once Chrying really took a lot of it out of him. Yeah, for a while it was like,
if you owned a Porsche or a convertible.
Once Chrysler got in the game, it wasn't.
Did Ford Fiesta have a convertible model?
I don't think it did.
There was a small Ford that had a convertible.
Well, the Mustang had a convertible model.
Mustang, yeah.
When you go to Hawaii and you rent a car,
it's like all convertible Mustangs.
I don't think the Fiesta had a convertible.
If a parent Festiva
Because that's what I had growing up
If my friend's dad had a convertible
When I was growing up as a kid
I thought he cheated on his mom
On his mom
On his wife
That was the midlife crisis car yeah it's
the first purchase after a divorce every time corvette convertible do you think there's like
guys buy cars and they're like now i'm not having a midlife crisis but everyone's like yeah they
totally are how does that work i'm gonna have a midlife crisis yeah yeah but what are you gonna
do i don't think any like because you already dress down and bet on sports and go to do that right i'm already like
the making like if you look at my life from the outside you're like this guy's a loser i i know
it right i know you're gonna get a boat yeah you're gonna be no i don't think a boat is a
midlife the boat is an old man thing you think it it is? Yeah. Speed boats midlife.
Yeah.
I think it's a lot of seniors.
Boats are awesome.
Boats are normal.
They're awesome, but I mean, Russillo.
Yeah, yeah.
Now that you brought up Russillo, I was going to say, Russillo is kind of the- He sends me videos of him just on his boat by himself.
You've been flirting with tattoos.
Yes, that might be it.
Yep, that's exactly right.
Who's the guy that sang all the Disney songs?
Danny Elfman?
He's so tattooed now.
He got his tattoos.
That's exactly what it's going to be.
Oh, yeah.
That will be my midlife crisis.
Have you seen him?
Danny Elfman.
Who's Danny Elfman?
No, Nick, when you say that, you're the only one who knows.
No.
Who is it?
Danny Elfman?
What are you saying?
He did the scores for the Batman movies.
No, but I think thinking of Will Ferrell.
Hans Zimmer, yeah.
Danny Elfman, I think, sang and did Toy Story and shit.
I'm thinking of Randy Newman.
Might be from Jurassic Park.
Are you thinking of Will Ferrell?
Will Ferrell?
No, no, no, no.
The man in Elf?
No, this guy was in like...
No, no, this was in an old school...
Yeah, the Elfman.
Will Ferrell.
Anchorman.
Paul Rudd.
Siakam's to the Pelicans.
You just threw that one in there?
Siakam to the Pacers.
Who to the Pacers?
Pascal Siakam.
Who did the Pacers give up?
Three-team deal.
Bruce Brown, three first-round picks.
First-round picks don't matter.
Danny Elfman did do the Batman theme.
Danny Elfman did do the Batman theme. Danny Elfman did do the Batman theme.
There we go.
Pre-Nolan.
Spider-Man?
Yeah.
Danny Elfman.
Oh, he did Nightmare Before Christmas.
But he was a dorky guy,
then like 60 rolls around,
fully tatted.
Yeah, you can't do that.
It's jarring to see.
That's going to be me.
He got jacked as well.
That's going to be me.
What's your midlife crisis going to be, Brandon?
I think I'm past it.
Nah.
I think I was joining Barstool.
Yeah, you're way past it.
Your midlife crisis, I mean, Mississippi midlife crisis is the 13th birthday.
Yeah, when I was 28.
That's Danny Elfman?
Yeah, but look at him now.
Oh, shh.
That's him on stage.
Like Carrot Top.
This is Halloween.
That's what he's singing?
That's him.
Show me his tattoo. Let me see him now. That's a woman. That's him Show me his
Let me see him now
That's him now dude
Let me see pre
It'd be awesome if Brandon had business tats
Oh I can't even see any glasses
Bad
Yeah
Business tats
Like their whole torso
Like uh
Oh yeah
AD
Oh yeah
Yeah but that's probably you're probably right.
That's probably going to be my midlife crisis tattoos.
That was a huge office thing.
If you had a tattoo that was showing, people would be like, oh, you're a sicko.
Yeah.
This guy's crazy.
It's like, no, he's just a-
You really worn those sunglasses the whole show.
Yeah.
They're Celine, man.
Someone sent me the fresh pair of these. It costs $500.
Really?
Whoa.
70's a bargain.
70's a bargain.
And they look cool.
Wow, they are.
They look expensive.
Put them up on eBay tonight.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, at 60.
That's a 60-year-old?
Yeah.
I don't know.
That kind of works for me.
It looks kind of badass.
Yeah.
The guitar.
Pause the man guitar Pause the man
Pause the man
Pause
Thank you
Yeah he does look cool
Yeah
I kind of want to wear leather too
I've never
Start smoking cigs
You think so?
Yeah
I kind of want to start
Cigs would be nice
Or
Yeah Do coke again Yeah Yeah Yeah. I kind of want to start. Six would be nice. Or... Yeah.
Do coke again?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Coke.
Cocaine.
You're wealthy enough to where it would be safe cocaine.
Yeah, but just...
Hangovers.
Just keep doing coke.
Screw it.
I don't have to do Ozempic.
Yeah, that would be perfect
Motorcycle?
No
They scare me
Cliche
Yeah too scared I'd crash
Would look cool though
Yeah like a Harley one
Not like a ninja one
But like
Those things are heavy
Just start shaving an eyebrow slit
Oh
I like that
I like that Maybe I like that.
Maybe paint the nails.
Hoop earring, yeah.
Paint the nails with Kayla Williams?
Yeah.
I think I'm going to start wearing a hoop earring.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I like that.
Harrison Ford still does it.
It looks cool.
Every time I see one, you don't see them very often.
Tom Lay.
Tom Lay.
One pull it off.
Tom Lay does have a hoop earring.
Laramie Tunsil.
Does he have a hoop earring?
Yeah.
Okay.
He looked cool on the sideline with his hoop earring.
My pee has dried.
All right, man.
Good job.
Thanks.
That's exciting.
Thank you.
I bet you have to pee again now.
Soon.
Yeah.
Soon.
Nick, you look like you peed your again now soon yeah soon nick you look like you
peed your leg your knee yeah what do you mean your knee you look like you peed your knee it
does look like you paid your knee the shadow on the right knee who's our baggy socks no no yeah
i should have got a smaller size like pete maravich brandon you should get the p thing
checked out i feel like you pee too much.
You know how they check prostates too.
That'll rock.
Yeah.
Do they still do it that way?
I don't know.
I think so.
They sure do.
I'm a year and a half.
Yeah.
I'm almost a year away.
I'll be 39 in two weeks.
You know?
Yeah.
I told you guys this on the internet.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Yeah.
You got to check.
I got my butt fingered.
Uh-huh.
Why?
You're not 40?
How old are you, 36?
I had a thing, and then the doctor was like, it wasn't even a doctor, it was in a fucking
Target.
Yeah.
It was in a Target.
Tommy Smokes got his first prostate exam at 17, and he lost his virginity at 18.
So getting ass fingered before fucking is...
I was at like a
I don't know if it's a minute clinic or whatever
like one of those little outposts
at Target where I just needed a prescription
and then they were asking me some questions and then they were like
do you have a history of prostate problems
and my dad just had prostate cancer
so I was like
I don't know if my father having prostate cancer
recently does that count
and they were like yes
that would count so they were like, yes. It certainly does.
That would count. That's a family history, yeah.
So they go ahead and drop him.
And then they just, you know.
This was like two years ago.
How old were you?
36?
Yeah, I was like 34.
Yeah, I was 34.
I think I'm going to get a doctor when I turn 40.
I don't have a doctor here.
I haven't had a doctor in 20 years.
I'm worried.
I'm afraid of what they'll find.
Yeah.
Just ignore it.
It'll go away.
You think so?
Or you'll die.
Yeah.
I'd rather just do that.
I'm terrified of colon cancer.
Same, man.
I guess it gets younger dudes.
Ooh.
And younger dudes die from it.
Because they don't know until it's too late.
What is the sign?
I don't know.
I didn't look into it enough.
So my colon's been hurting for four years, and that's when I went, and I thought I had it.
And the doctor was straight up like, you'd be dead already.
Whoa.
How do you know your colon's hurting?
Yeah, well, it's the bottom left, and it was just hurting, and that's when I found out I was celiac.
My junior high athletic director died from prostate cancer because he was too much of a man to have someone check his prostate.
His shit was hurting him, and he's like, I'm not letting someone put their finger up my ass.
Yikes.
Then he was a tough guy all the way to the grave.
What are you going to say, Steven?
Fasoli's in here if you want to do.
Oh, yeah, let's do candid photos.
Wait, did he already take them?
No.
No, we're not going to have the candid photos actually be candid
So we're gonna pose. Yeah. Well, he already took him. He took him. Oh, let's see
No, we got a
Kind of ready look like
We probably look cool, let's see what we have I don't look cool. Yeah, I probably look cool.
Well, let's see what we have.
I don't look cool.
No, I probably look awful.
You got the glasses on.
You're good.
It's true.
Yeah, but I mean, I'm
He's going to send them to us.
We'll get them in a couple
minutes.
Yeah, it's going to be awful.
I want to take some like prom
photos.
Not even prom. I just want to be like laughing with the guys maybe one like now it stretches out the lumpiness if you like try to like do hands behind the head
are you guys in on the who's this this uh target guy who tiktoks. Oh, yeah. I like him.
You like him?
I like him.
Yeah.
He gets ready and just goes to the gym and then.
Target guy? Yeah, they're saying like if Jalen Hurts never made it to the NFL.
Oh, that guy.
That guy, yes.
Yeah.
He's taking over, dude.
I think it's like pure hate.
People are just like, I hate this guy so much.
They keep posting him and he keeps going viral.
Yep.
So we're going to get up and take pictures? I have an interview with two that i have to leave for but i have a half hour brandon this year i think you're gonna go mega viral for something
oh something bad three million likes something real bad i think you're gonna fall down a ton
of steps and it's gonna be caught on camera. Mega viral.
What he said was good, then what you said was bad.
I don't want it to be bad.
Well, I don't think you can go viral for something good.
You could.
Yeah, Big Cat could.
Jerry made a hole in one and went viral.
Yeah.
So maybe something good could happen to all of us. Who else has gone viral for something good?
Over 40.
Brandon went viral when Kobe died. Yeah why would you do i just tweeted that uh
kobe death tweet but yeah your most viral tweet was a kobe death what was it it was like uh just
a sappy i can't believe kobe died yeah mamba forever yeah uh i don't know. Who goes viral for good things?
Like sick kids.
Dogs.
I could get sick.
Yeah, dogs.
Dogs go viral.
I'm not going to be around dogs.
Easily.
Yeah, I don't know.
When was the moment when you realized you loved the attention of doing this?
Probably my bookie stream.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's when you...
That's pretty cool
were you content doing that beforehand i was fine well once i did it and then it got blogged on
barstool and then dave picked it up i was like okay that's really it wasn't before that i mean
i like doing the mississippi state podcast but you know a big audience for me back then was a
thousand people yeah and i did like it and i would get recognized in starfall but it wasn't actual
attention it was
just i'm talking about your favorite did you have a rival podcast no no i was far and away the best
but there were others there were others yeah brian haydad did the b&b show is more cowbell
is the feed still up it's still there can we listen to the first episode now come on i don't
know who's your sponsor the italian restaurant gondolier italian i mean are we allowed to play direct you have it memorized yeah they still do yeah
did you try to memorize something huh no it's just me just you one man show yeah
i was making a couple grand a month just doing that. That's nice. Yeah.
What did you say about Chris Jones' dick flopping out?
I don't think I was.
No, I know that I wasn't.
I didn't have a show at that point.
That happened in like 2016.
Oh, that.
That predates my show.
Oh.
Yeah.
Would you have had an episode about that?
Oh, yeah.
I would have broken that thing down fully.
The flop, the dick,
all of it.
Exploded.
Yeah.
Big dick.
Was it?
Oh, yeah.
Yep, flopping around
while he runs.
Steven, are you going to
come to the Combine
again with us this year?
Would love to
if you'd have me.
Yeah.
I'm in.
He's too happy, man.
He is. Something bad needs to happen. I need.... He's too happy, man. He is.
Something bad needs to happen.
It sucks, too, because we've lost our chance.
If the Bucs lose on Sunday, he will not be upset.
He shouldn't be.
They've overachieved at this point.
Right.
He'll be like, wow, great year.
We're building something.
But are they?
What if they don't lose?
I mean, Baker's not good.
There's a chance they don't lose.
We're going to put Corey on the stream next to you.
Nice.
Yeah, and Matt, right?
Yeah, Matt.
If the Lions win this game, I think I'm going to try to get Detroit Dawn
and Superfan to come here for the championship game stream.
Though they might be dumb button guys
also in the could be dumb button guys and the off chance they host green bay
they're gonna want to go that oh yeah well of course i would never when we're in vegas for
the super bowl can we bring a yak coin to the pawn stars Stars pawn shop. Oh, I like that. Try to get like a million.
Yeah.
It's very rare.
And it comes with unlimited kisses.
Right.
From a group of select men.
I'd like that very much.
Okay.
They probably don't get a lot of kisses there.
What do you mean?
At the pawn shop.
Oh, wow.
Whoa.
It's more cowbell.
The Mississippi State podcast.
Presented by Gondolier Italian Restaurant and Bar in Starkville, Mississippi.
Presented by Gondolier Italian Restaurant and Bar in Starkville, Mississippi.
Hi, hello.
Sunday night we are here in the, well, we're at my house. Hi, hello.
It's Thursday afternoon, and we are here at the, well, we're here at my house.
We are at my house here in Fulton, Mississippi,
as I do the show from the house.
We are at my house in Fulton, Mississippi,
as I do the show from the house.
It's more cowbell than Mississippi State.
Hi, hello.
Was the wife supportive when you started a podcast?
Yeah, she was supportive.
She's down for whatever.
Is she a Mississippi State fan?
And I know.
Yeah, she is.
Oh, no.
Yeah, she was excited.
Oh, no.
She actually built my first studio.
I came home one day from my job job and she had cleared out a room and
and built the studio for me that's awesome yeah ride or die yeah she said you need to be able to
do it from home so you can do it at all all times so i said okay wow is that when you knew you loved
her no we'd been married for 12 years ago yeah i know yeah know. Yeah. You guys are going to get killed tonight. Who ours?
Oh, at Kentucky?
Who ours?
I think we might win.
Who ours?
Really?
Yeah, we lost to Alabama that day. We can't let who ours fly.
Who ours?
Who ours?
Who ours?
This is what I'm saying.
You try to rip on Mook for how he says museum.
Who ours?
Say who ours.
Who ours?
Museum is a terrible way to say that word. Who yeah who are say who are ours i mean museum is a terrible way
to say that word who are what do you mean what does who are is even fucking mean he said he said
you guys gonna get killed i She's a who are
She's a who are
God damn who are
I want somebody random to run the yak gauntlet
Today?
I don't know I miss it
Oh yeah
Why doesn't one of us in our nice attire is that
its own category yeah business yak gauntlet yeah titus is in athletic shoes i don't need to do it
no but a sport coat would make it very yeah right but it's called a sport coat so it might make me
oh fuck it's sports yeah yeah let's make someone here do it Connor
what's Stephanie in our four inch heels whoa she hasn't done it Stephanie point
Kyle can you kick it I can't believe you stole my water I think she's an athlete
that was fucked up I That was so fucked up.
I know.
Oh, let's make Smutledge.
Tom Lee?
Ooh.
Does Tom Lee have the hoop in?
Yep.
Yeah, sure does.
Does Tom Lee do it?
What are they doing?
He's cooking right now.
They're really...
Tom Lee looks a little bit like Travis Tritt.
I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
I don't see it.
Look at the album cover for Great Day to Be Al tom look at me just look at me no he does not
look like travis he does not i don't see it what are they doing wrong it's so easy to get a rise
out of brandon what'd you say about travis tritt i got rice cooking in the microwave.
Remember those Travis Tripp music videos where he was in a wheelchair?
Yeah.
Paralyzed.
Like a soldier.
Just for fun.
No.
I like looking at 90s country album covers.
He was going out working on his boat in his wheelchair and then like falls into the water
and his wife has to
save him.
I don't know.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
I don't know which
one it was, but it was.
Brandon's the only
person I'm talking
to at this point,
obviously.
Was he pretending
to be in a wheelchair?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
yeah, for the sake
of the music video.
Just for the sake
of the music video.
Yeah.
And he was.
I don't know
who Travis Tritt is.
The direction they wanted to take it.
Oh, these are the picks.
That's a good pick.
All right, pretty good.
That's right.
Yeah.
I'd swipe right on hinge.
Yeah.
Yellow as hell.
I can't see you.
Oh, there we go.
Color corrected.
Yeah.
I like it.
Damn.
I don't mind that.
Fuck.
Okay.
No, Kyle's just looks good. Damn it. Yeah, you went't mind that. Fuck. Okay. No, Kyle just looks good.
Damn it.
Yeah, you went in for Kyle.
Oh, are you cross-eyed?
That's sexy.
Do you have a droopy eye?
What's going on with your eyes?
You look like Spencer Hayward.
It got worse over here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
I just need to crop up.
Let's get a Titus.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, now that one.
That makes stills look way more official.
You look like you're on Letterman.
We just got to start doing this.
I think it was the angle.
Because this side of the room looked terrible.
It was bad.
You had a cross.
It even made Mook look good. I know.'s crazy that's never happened yeah i mean kyle looks hot kyle looks like a republican pundit yeah it looks like you're doing a podcast yeah
common man podcast trying to reach us yeah that you look really republican there
what does jay do oh he's doing... All right, what...
Do we want to spin the wheel to see who has to go in their sport coat?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got rice cooking in the microwave.
Got a three-day beard, I don't have to shave.
But then he says he's planning on doing a Fu Manchu.
Hey, I'm doing all right.
Hey, put the coat back on.
All right.
Let's go, Brando.
You ever think about that, Brandon?
He doesn't plan to shave, but then he said he might have a Fu Manchu.
That's planning on shaving.
That is planning on shaving.
Are you doing the dainty mode?
Oh, my god.
I can't keep it up.
It doesn't help.
Oh, look at you, Kyle. Now you got the
cards.
Yeah, you look like a UFC fighter
that's coming in to do that.
Yeah. That look of you
right there. And deck of cards dressed up. It's coming in to do that. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. That look of you right there.
And deck of cards dressed up.
It's obviously easy to fall until he looks like a magician.
You don't.
No. No, you look like a...
You look like you beat up a magician.
You look like you gamble on a riverboat.
Yeah.
What is Steven doing?
I don't know.
Stephanie, are you ready?
This is your first big test stephanie this tough
oh i'm actually kind of nervous yeah it should be is a mouse tech here yeah he's on net do you
have the sporkle ready stephanie yeah doug's gonna help me with that okay and then you got
your camera angles this one's a little out of focus.
Because Brandon's right there.
It's focusing on Brandon.
It's out of focus.
All right.
It is out of focus.
Are you ready, Stephanie?
I'm ready.
Are we ready in here?
Yep.
Zell's ready.
Doug's ready.
Three, two, one, go.
Nailed it.
Whoa.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
You guys missed him at his gayest.
Oh.
Whoa.
No.
No.
I say yes.
Yes.
I think it hit.
I don't think that was a goal.
I do not think that was a goal.
Damn.
Oh, my God. I don't think that was a goal. Well do not think that was a goal. Damn. Oh my god.
This is still fine.
Oh.
God damn.
21 seconds.
Uh oh.
I can't see. Oh, no.
This is tough. Stop bouncing it.
You're
wasting time.
There you go.
Oh.
Oh.
I almost went in.
Oh, man.
There we go.
Good time.
He's doing his best time ever.
13 original colonies.
Brazil.
Nope.
France.
Yep.
Wow.
That might not be.
Russia.
Qatar.
Bang.
South Carolina.
Rhode Island.
This is Stephanie typing, obviously.
Wow.
I think it might be Doug.
Pennsylvania.
Incredible typing.
Three more.
Strawberry.
Grape.
One more.
So close.
Jack Bauer. Time. Damn. 208. Jack Bauer.
Time.
Damn.
208, Brandon.
Who was typing?
Yeah, that was huge.
I don't think you scored a goal.
I was.
That was incredible.
Nick, the best typing we've ever seen.
I counted the goal.
No, I'm kidding.
Shout out to Doug.
Doug.
Oh, wait.
Malasek said no?
Oh, it's not a goal.
We got a replay.
Malasek saying no.
If it counted for Nick, it counts for me.
No, because mine was different.
If it counted for Nick, it counts for me.
Yeah, Nick's was different.
We liked Nick.
Well, Nick's went in.
Right, and we liked Nick.
Yeah.
If it counted for Nick, it counts for me.
Good job.
Great run.
That was a hell of a run.
I also need suit.
Neil, let's have one other person go.
Yeah, but she's just putting it in the normal.
This is a suit run.
Not suit.
Sport coat.
Sport coat.
Dress up.
Business attire.
That was a really good time brandon very good thank you
wow you're right below me again
huh that's interesting wearing a cape wearing a cape
thank you yeah Thank you. Yeah.
Somebody else going to do it?
Yeah, let's do one other person.
Eden Scrooge.
I want Liam Blutman.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-oh.
Let's watch Che.
Yeah.
And then get Liam over here. Yeah, Che's fine.
What if they went at the same time?
Hmm?
What if they went at the same time?
Oh.
Happen?
That could work.
What if they raced?
A race would be cool.
This is a different day.
It's a dress-up day.
We had different two footballs? day Wait let's do pairs of
Gentlemen
Let's do gentlemen pairs
Oh y'all don't want to do Che Blutman
I like Che vs Blutman
Che v Blutman
Yes
Where's Blutman
Around
Yeah
Do we have another football Gotta right Where's Blutman? Around. Yeah. Yeah.
Do we have another football?
Got it, right?
Look at this fucking place.
We have two footballs.
And we need two bats.
Two bats, two footballs.
This might not work.
Two sporkles or the first one to five on sporkle?
Oh, you're right.
Maybe the sporkle.
All right, never mind, never mind, never mind.
You're up.
Solo. You're up solo. That fell apart fast fast in our brains it's probably best it fell apart yeah
because it would have been a mess we wouldn't have realized it till the sparkle yeah well the
bats yeah and the footballs oh he's stretching oh he's the worst. Are you ready, Che? You ready, Stephanie?
Oh, aloha.
Count him down. We're good.
Oh, he did aloha?
Alright, here we go.
Three, two,
one.
Go.
Oh, man.
Alright.
Oh! Oh my god. All right. Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Uh-oh.
No.
No.
No.
No.
That was.
Just swing the bat.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Gonzo.
I like the jazz.
What was your favorite player?
Oh, you getting help?
Oh, no, that's actually.
Yeah, we do that help.
He told me this was the new meta.
Did he say that on me?
Yeah.
He's gotten worse on me.
I'd argue, uh-uh.
He whispered in my ear and goes, I think I found a way to beat you.
What did he whisper in your ear?
I hate that.
No, you got to do Kyle's sky ball.
That was pretty good, though.
Sure.
Shape.
Oh.
Oh.
A little short.
A little short again.
There it is. Toes on the camera. A little short. A little short again. There it is.
Toes on the line.
He is all over that line.
Toes on the line.
This is bad.
Oh, my goodness.
He has a decent three, usually.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Is this, like, Nightline starting?
Wet.
All right, come on.
All right, Steve.
All right, Steve.
All right, there it is
only what eight coaches for ncaa football teams 2023 season that's easy davos sweeney joe harbaugh ryan day deon sanders kirby smart there you go
uh oh well i lane kiffin
honolulu springfield illinois
uh shit uh reno nevada albany
not reno no no uh-selling N64 game.
Mario Kart.
There it is.
Great time.
Good job, Steve.
Great time.
Good job, Che.
Suit very tight for the shooting.
Somebody had a triple-double in 14 minutes.
Can I see that sparkle again?
Wait, go back.
Triple-double?
Also.
Look.
Top right category.
Five NBA players to record fastest triple-double.
Whoa.
Holy shit.
Probably Jokic, right?
Well, Jokic.
Yeah.
14 minutes?
Webb and Yama's already up there.
Wow.
Everyone knew this.
Carson City, dude.
Carson City, dude.
Nevada.
It's not Reno.
It's not Reno.
As many times you say Reno
It won't be Reno
Yeah but Reno
Reno
Reno
Red for my bucks
Blutman
Blutman would you like to go
Yak challenge
Can we do one not recorded
Naked
And just put up our times
Yes
Do you think it would be more or less
Less Yeah Yeah Because you want to be You want to be clothed faster Yeah Recorded, naked, and just put up our times? Yes. Do you think it would be more or less? Less.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Because you want to be clothed faster.
Yeah.
I think you would.
Yeah, we should do naked runs.
Yeah.
I could do this, yes.
I did not get much sleep over the night, though.
What were you doing?
You know what I was doing.
I know.
I was texting you.
He texted me at 5.17 a.m.
Yeah.
I just responded in half a second.
We were watching the GOAT almost lose.
We were watching.
Yes.
We were trying to get Novak to lose.
What the fuck?
I took the other guy plus 1,800.
That's my guy.
I'm sorry, but, like, the opportunity was there.
He has more guys than you could ever know.
He has nine guys on the Chiefs.
Have more on the Ravens.
We just counted them up.
Eleven.
Eleven Liam guys on the Ravens.
Yes, so in the playoffs, we have 73 guys.
Only three on the Niners.
Who are the three on the Niners?
That's a good question.
Elijah Mitchell, Tashaun Gibson, and Talanoa Hufanga.
What makes them your guys?
Just, you know, at some point in life, I was very infatuated with them in college or early in the pros.
Sometimes I was bigger on them than the consensus.
Like Hufanga, for example, I thought was one of the best safeties in the class.
Elijah Mitchell I thought was always going to be a very good running back,
just extremely underrated.
And, you know, he had a good rookie season.
Yeah.
McCaffrey comes in, doesn't really get to do it.
I would love your full list of guys.
He has a list.
Have you ever thought about applying for the job as senior draft analyst?
I agree.
That would be pretty.
I think he shows a lot of promise here.
I think you are what we've been looking for.
Liam and I have been working closely.
We're doing a review out here.
We're not talking to you, Stephen.
You're new here, but do you feel like you could manage a team?
An NFL team?
No, no, no.
Draft analyst team.
We have a few people underneath you.
Yes, I suppose I could.
I did think he meant NFL team, which I also could do.
You also could do that.
Who have you been?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, we can't speak.
Who are you the most right about of all time?
Of all time?
That's a tough question to ask on the spot one.
I've gotten zero hours of sleep.
Again, I told you i wrote a letter
to the jets to not draft mark sanchez i was pretty right about that you wrote a letter to him yeah
how strongly worded was it i don't remember how old was i when that eating and begging we don't
know how old i don't near do i i don't know if my i don't know if my mom. Are you like nine? Are you just lettering? I was. Oh, no.
Slippery slope, man.
I just kind of like stopped like rooting for the NFL team because it was the same thing year after year.
I like rooting for Liam guys and fancy football.
Liam guys.
Oh, so your team is Liam.
Wait, so I need.
Wait.
I need an all Liam team from 2023-24 season.
You have that.
We could cook that up.
Who's your quarterback?
It'd be a combination of college football and NFL.
No, I want both, though.
But who would be your quarterback in the NFL?
Dude, honestly, probably Nathan Rourke.
But he doesn't play.
Oh, that's okay.
He's been bouncing around.
I need a team that's the Liams.
I need a jersey.
Yes.
We can make this happen. Yeah would love yeah okay how do you approach these guys just in the dms i don't i mean sometimes i'll
dm them or they'll dm me and other times there'll be zero contact okay i'll just be a liam guy from
afar i gotta run for an interview you guys just let me know what the wheel does i'll be yeah yeah
i'm intrigued i need to know more guys do you have guys outside of sports you're hired by the way senior draft analyst
oh cool congratulations so steven che will report to you that's awesome uh that's not anything he
does you are in charge of so you can shut him down at any time all his blogs will be run through you
yep you probably need to start yeah no you steven you must get
your blogs approved uh i don't want to boss you around but could you add that to your bio yeah
i mean has caleb been fired no caleb caleb is uh senior draft analyst emeritus
how you say that word yeah emeritus the mean of the word west head and riley
he's doing the winning time guys
the winning time the the duo i don't know what happens yet that led the lakers to and i honestly
don't know what happens and i refuse to look i think they might win there's an angle. It's called winning time,
right?
It's true.
You'd be surprised.
What do y'all want to do?
Is he going to run the gauntlet?
Would you like it?
Yeah, I think so.
You don't want to do it?
It could be bad.
Do you want another day?
You have to do the gauntlet.
Let's get him on some sleep, maybe.
You want tomorrow?
Me and Kyle are meeting at 2.
We could do tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Yeah, we got to run.
Because the brain is not buff.
Tomorrow we're starting the show with you running the gauntlet.
Okay, that'll work.
That'll work.
I won't stay up all night.
I don't do medicine and that stuff, no.
Oh, okay.
All right, Stephanie, spin the wheel.
I will not watch tennis until 7 a.m. tonight, so I will be prepared.
7 a.m.?
That's tomorrow.
That's tomorrow morning.
Yeah.
That's not tonight at all.
Well, I work on it.
Is that how you operate?
Yes, I work on a different schedule.
You can spin it.
What's your schedule?
Just whatever I want.
I don't know.
It just varies.
It's Liam time, baby.
Exactly. All right. Tomorrow, we're starting the show with you doing the gauntlet. just whatever I want I don't know it just varies it's Liam time baby exactly
alright
tomorrow
we're starting the show
with you
doing the gauntlet
yeah
you can't get out of it
rest up baby
I could do it in slides too
oh that'd be cool
do it however you need to do it
that'd be dope
yes
alright
is Vengar one of your guys
you could consider him one
also Piplup
Piplup's cool
yeah
you're like the only person that can just talk to me and KB at the same time.
This is cool, man.
This is refreshing as fuck.
Yeah.
Alas, we already have a bad head.
Yes.
Of course.
Another ginger in your life?
Oh, my God.
I could be talking to him about the Jets and what a catastrophe that is
while I talk to you about Pikachu.
I would love that.
What a journey he's been on.
Quite the journey.
Can we get Liam on anus?
I would like that a lot.
I would like that a lot.
What are you doing next week?
I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow.
All right.
Well, I do.
I do.
I do.
I'm doing the – aside from that, I don't know what I'm ever doing. We're going to, I do. I do. I do. I'm doing the –
Aside from that, I don't know what I'm ever doing.
We're going to snag you out.
We're going to snag you out.
Who's the Pikachu of the NFL?
Pikachu of the NFL.
Yellow.
That's a good –
Electric.
Yellow and electric.
So it would have to be a Viking or a –
A what?
A what, Nick?
I would have to brainstorm that, but I did for the NFL draft 2023.
I compared top five quarterbacks to Pokemon.
Yes.
2023 draft.
So Pikachu is not a Pokemon.
What?
Think of Pikachu like Travis Tritt.
Got it.
We had a major flaw in those comparisons as bryce young was compared to
mew that's tough oh that's crazy that's tough like a legendary which was really what did you
have cj stroud as cj stroud was lucario great that's great scrappy uh or popular oh yeah
che what pokemon would you say caleb williams is
because you're gonna have to add those to your blogs.
Boss Man said.
I'm not familiar with...
I know Pikachu and Charizard.
Charizard or Charizard?
Oh, no.
This collaboration is going to go horribly.
Yeah, I don't like player comparisons.
Everything will be Pokemon or something else of that sort.
Yeah.
Video game realm of things.
I think I asked Anthony Richardson was Machoke. Okay. Oh, yeah. But oh yeah but not fully evolved to a machamp no he has to get there eventually as
as will levis was machoke can only evolve to machamp via trade yeah that was weird i didn't
really think about that in the time but i mean so some man trade anthony richardson for his full potential. Very interesting. Will Levis' Magikarp was just a layup.
It was obvious.
And he could get into Gyarados rather quickly.
Give him experience until you get him to Gyarados.
What if he became a red Gyarados?
Shiny?
That's something I didn't really think about.
That would be nice to think about,
but you'd know if you had the shiny Magikarp.
Interesting stuff.
All right, we'll be back tomorrow. shiny magic card. Interesting stuff. Cool.
All right, we'll be back tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
God bless.
See you. It's a yak.
It's a yak.
It's a yak.
It's a yak. thank you for letting me spend two days with you the goat is back tomorrow see you then
have a great night