The Yak - We're Raising Money for the People of Mississippi | The Yak 3-28-23
Episode Date: March 28, 2023#YakGivesBackYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up. It's the act.
It's the act.
It's time to talk shop.
Hey.
Yo, we're on the act.
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rowback boys what's up brandon how's everybody doing my fucking dude damn good it's uh it's
auction day last day before you go to chicago i'm going to Chicago to find a house. Tomorrow? Yeah.
Any clues on the house?
I'm seeing about 12.
Wow. 12 on Thursday.
12 houses?
Yeah.
Jeez.
So I don't know exactly.
It's going to be in the western suburbs, the northern suburbs, stuff like that.
I'll be all over.
From Naperville up to Crystal Lake and Barrington, places like that.
With just that information, someone's going to find
all 12 of the houses?
Correct, yeah.
They'll be waiting for me
with open arms,
probably a bullet.
It'll be fun.
Yeah.
Look forward to that.
Sweet release of death.
You boys bricked up?
Yeah, I got my brick this morning.
I did not.
Well, they're in Dave's office.
They're in Dave's office.
Go get your brick.
Go scoop one. I grabbed one for Pat. I got the silver with Dave's office. They're in Dave's office. Go get your brick. You want to scoop one?
I grabbed one for Pat.
I got the silver with the white face.
Can you scoop one for a gift?
I got the black face.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Whose model is that?
All right.
It's auction day.
Yeah, I like that we're doing an auction for good.
Usually Mississippi's used to auctions that are bad.
Well, that was a long time ago.
This is pretty big for you because you need a certain amount or else you'll look bad.
Right.
No.
You'll feel bad.
I try to give them $400.
It's not going to feel good.
Yeah, that's a bad figure.
What is the smallest price that can be on a big check?
I got a $1,000 big check twice for winning a World Battle Rap Championship.
I think you can get a $500 big check.
I think you can, yeah.
I think there's no rules.
I think you can put whatever.
I think there's $100 big checks, honestly.
I don't know.
$100 big check?
That would be a bad big check.
The big check would actually be more valuable than what it's representing.
You pay $100.
You okay?
No.
You pay $100 for just the piece of cardboard?
How much does the big check actually cost?
Like $40.
That would be my guess.
$49.95.
Why don't we have a big check on standby?
We should just have a big check just in case we ever do something like this.
I have one at my desk.
It's not blank.
It says Kate.
Yeah, but.
How much was it for?
Cool.
$10,000.
Jesus.
I end up keeping like none of it. That's what always happens. You gave it to the stripper. You gave it all to a stripper. Yeah, but. How much was it for? Cool. $10,000. Jesus. I end up keeping like
none of it. That's what always happens.
You gave it all to a stripper.
You were horny as fuck when you won that.
Yeah, I was pretty horny.
What's the most valuable prize
any of you have ever won?
I won $50,000.
Well, I won a Bitcoin from
here when it was $50,000.
That's the most valuable thing I've ever won. The whole thing was yours? A little piece of it. No, I won a Bitcoin from here when it was $50,000. That's the most valuable thing I've ever won.
The whole thing was yours?
Yeah.
Or a little piece of it?
No, I won a Bitcoin.
And you cashed it?
Cashed it out for $38,000.
When it started to crash, I cashed it out for $38,000.
So I guess $38,000.
Damn.
That's pretty cool.
That's a pretty big prize.
When I was younger, I won a big box of candy at a fair.
That's pretty awesome.
Yeah.
It was like they just took a dart and they threw it,
and then if it hit your number.
What kind of candies are we talking about?
Like fair candies, like saltwater taffy?
No, like regular candy, but like a big box.
Nestle Crunches, Milky Way Minis.
Did I get any cavities?
Probably, yeah.
Let's see.
No.
Smarties.
Hey, let's see that one that's visible.
His ass with a visible cavity
they're visible in the back you can see him ew bro yeah i gotta go to the dentist how's owen
oh he's good can we not do this whatever we're doing right now yeah that bothers me too um
owen's good he i think he got his appendix removed he did too yeah that's what he was doing so that's
what happened to his stomach yeah he I texted him yesterday after the yak
and he was like, I'm in the ER. I think my appendix
is going to burst. That's scary. That happened to me.
You don't have an appendix?
It happened the same way. I didn't feel good.
At 3 o'clock in the morning I just went to the ER
and I said, hey, my stomach, I'm feeling fucked up.
And they took my appendix out.
And he's better? I don't know.
I think he got it removed
this morning. He said he was going to get transferred somewhere for surgery this morning.
Really?
Fuck.
Holy shit.
Every appendix story is terrible.
I experienced the worst pain of my life for eight hours, and then I realized.
And if it had been two more hours, I would have died.
They all say that, like excruciating pain for eight hours, and I finally said, fuck it.
I have about 15 minutes of excruciating pain before I go to the ER.
Yeah. Owen, I mean
he must have been 10 hours of excruciating
pain because he didn't go until yesterday
like afternoon and he was
I don't think he slept the night before. I think
he was just going back and forth to the bathroom.
Booping? I don't think anything.
I'm assuming nothing. I think he just had a stomach ache
and was trying to make it. That's what happened to me. I tried to go through
the night. I made it to 3am.m. and I bailed out.
Did you drive it there yourself?
I drove to the hospital.
Is it an easy surgery?
It's pretty easy, right?
Oh, yeah.
Well, yeah.
You're just unconscious.
It's a little dangly, boy.
Yeah.
What is it again?
Why does it?
It doesn't do anything.
We don't know what it does, right?
We needed it like hundreds of years or hundreds of thousands of years ago.
Isn't that true that the doctors don't know why we have an appendix?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
What's more valuable, an appendix or a bladder?
A bladder.
Eat a bladder.
That's where your piss goes.
I know what you're saying.
Well, your gallbladder, yeah.
It's a different thing.
These ketamine dudes don't give a fuck.
They barely have a bladder.
What?
Ketamine destroys your bladder lining to a point where if you are addicted enough, you can't even piss.
So the things that you get taken out, you get the pinnacles taken out, your tonsils can be taken out, and your gallbladder can be taken out.
One kidney.
One kidney?
Wisdom teeth.
Wisdom teeth.
Chunk of your liver.
Yeah, grows back.
I know somebody who donated like half their liver and then it grew back.
Nobody, nobody willingly.
Who would need a liver?
My cousin's husband donated half his liver to his brother.
And that works?
It worked, yeah.
Wow, that's crazy. Yeah.
That's a good reason to have a brother.
If you're like deep into alcoholism, you just can't get a liver transplant.
No, I think it's really hard if you're an alcoholic because you're not on the bottom of the list.
I don't know.
You didn't treat your liver correctly.
Unless if a family member is like, I don't care.
I can have half my liver anyway.
I don't know.
Are you allowed?
Unless you're a billionaire and you probably just have access to hundreds of livers.
Yeah.
If any of you ever need a liver, I will give you half of my liver.
I actually like mine, so I'm not.
Oh, if you need it.
Yeah.
You don't know what's going to happen in the future.
He's all set.
You love to booze.
No, I'm actually pretty much sober right now.
What happens if you donate a kidney?
If you donate a kidney, you don't have a backup plan now,
so you might need a kidney in 10 years.
I like an eye for an eye.
You ought to go get it back.
Yeah, you can probably go get it back.
I need that back, by the way.
That's going to be a tough conversation.
Remember that kidney.
Who's it belong to?
Have you seen that documentary called Finders Keepers?
It's about a guy that loses his foot in a plane crash but lives,
and then somebody buys the field where the plane crashed
and found the foot
and put it on display
as like a roadside attraction.
And there's a big legal battle of who owns the foot.
Who is on that guy's side?
He was like, I bought the field
and everything on the field.
How would you want the foot?
Does it stop being yours?
It just has to be a dude who is so bored.
He just has so much time on his hands.
That's a dickhead.
Who's going to see the foot?
Is he profiting off the foot?
Yeah, he was like the mysterious field foot.
What value would the foot have to the old foot owner?
Exactly.
He wouldn't be able to put it back on.
But you don't want your fucking biggest moment of trauma to be like a freak museum.
Would you?
Someone else is just caking off your foot?
How am I spending money to go see a foot?
I think I would go see the foot.
That's what rediscovering America is.
I would see the foot for sure.
I would donate to the foot.
It was like a legal landmark.
How much foot is it?
The whole foot, I think.
Can we pull up the finders?
What did the case decide?
I don't want to say.
I would like to know.
I'm never going to watch this movie.
You should watch Finders Keeper.
I think that's what it's called.
This movie's making money off the foot too.
The only guy who can't make money off the foot is this fucker.
He should be happy he survived a plane crash with just a foot injury.
No.
It wasn't really a foot injury.
He didn't have a foot.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
You just crash a plane and you're just like, my foot.
You should die.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
It is impressive that he walked.
Well, I guess he didn't walk away.
Oh. Hopped away. A little hop. I'll go sticked walked. Well, I guess he didn't walk away. Oh.
Hopped away.
A little hop.
He'll go sticked away.
Skip, skip, and a jump.
He can hop with one foot.
So Big Cat is coming in.
He just said he'd be late.
So I don't think we should start anything until.
We're all wearing suits.
Yeah.
Do we bother to tell any of the whatnot guys that we were doing this?
Yeah, I think Ari isn't there.
Is he? Okay, good.
Can we at least reveal some of the shit we're auctioning?
I only have one item, so I'll go
first. Alright.
It's a Barstool Sports
USA
starter jacket. Wow.
Size large. Just have been saving
this bitch for...
I thought it was going to be an artifact that I was going to pass down
from my children to their grandchildren
to their grandchildren,
but instead I'm going to give it away today
and make some money for Mississippi.
That's very nice.
That's worth a lot.
Yeah, it's kind of wavy.
Yeah, that's actually really nice.
It's kind of sick.
I might buy that.
I'm throwing my hat in the ring.
That's real gold.
The sleeve with the flag.
The sleeve with the flag.
You know what I mean?
Starter on the back. You know what I mean? Starter on the back.
You know what I mean?
Fucking.
Oh.
So, hopefully we'll make some money.
I know that one of the last auctions, it was like, wasn't it like a jersey with your name
on the back?
Did Boku Bucks?
Yeah, the KB.
It was probably the peak.
The Pizza Hut jacket.
Was it?
I thought it was like another jersey that was like monogra...
I don't know.
Maybe I'm wrong.
But regardless, I remember memorabilia doing well, so that's what I brought in.
Sass, what did you bring in?
Well, I have this.
That's just the actual...
These are not on sale, though.
That's the one of one.
These are the 500 episode shirts, unopened, size large.
Very nice.
Cannot buy these anywhere.
Okay.
That's a good one.
I sent a Yak fan cash to buy one of those because he wasn't getting paid until the next day.
Those were highly sought after.
I have these Son of a Boy Dad pins.
Oh.
I guess our old logo on them.
Oh, collector's item.
Collector's item.
There's a lot of them.
So we don't make those anymore.
We actually never did make them.
Then I have a Frank the Tank Christmas card signed by Frank.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Mine's on my desk and I thought I couldn't part with it.
So good on you.
This is not mine, actually.
Is that mine?
No.
No, this is someone else's who told me not to say it was theirs.
Tugs.
The ultimate act of the day.
No, no, it's not Tugs'.
And then I have this Arby's curly fry flavored vodka.
What, bro?
Don't part with that.
Not mine either. Do you sell booze on WhatNot? Oh, probably not. Arby's Curly Fry Flavored Vodka. What, bro? Don't put that in there.
Not mine either.
Let's drink that now.
Do you sell booze on Whatnot?
Oh, probably not.
No, no.
This is a good way for kids to get it.
It's a little loophole.
Let's just drink it now.
Let's drink that.
Let's take shots of it.
I don't think we should drink it.
I should probably just give it back
to the person who gave it to me
if we're not going to sell it.
Why?
Kelly Keegs doesn't want it back.
It's not Kelly Keegs'.
Can't sell it, can't drink it. Can'tegs'. Can't sell it, can't drink it.
Can't sell it, can't drink it.
All right, never mind.
Well, that's fine.
Good idea, Sass.
The other things are good.
Yes, the other things are good.
Are you selling them individually or as a bundle?
I don't know.
Individually, I think we'll make more money.
Individual pins?
No, like a bundle of pins.
Or no, but individual pins.
Like, who wants a bundle of pins? I don't a bundle of pins. Or no, but individual pins. Like, who
wants a bundle of pins?
I don't know who wants pins. Actually, you can pair it.
We'll do a Son of a Boy Dad
unreleased merch, anus unreleased merch collab.
Oh, okay. Because I have an
anus tennis ball
branded. It's in a case.
If I ever meet Venus, she would sign it.
Oh, shit. I have two of them, so
I will be giving one of those away.
That's a good one.
An anus tennis ball.
Damn.
It's on my desk.
Put that in there.
It is good.
Do you recommend people play with that or keep it boxed up?
Does it have a Wilson bounce to it?
No, no.
I think it's a display tennis ball.
Nice.
You guys should sign it.
Now, I had a question for the group, and Big Cat's not here,
but TJ, you probably may know the answer.
Could we auction off a slice of the wheel?
Yeah.
Are you asking me if we're capable of that or if we should do it?
Yeah, could we legally do that?
Yeah, I think they get to decide as long as it's –
I think it's just they submit a photo and it pops up for the rest –
it's in the corner for the rest of the act.
Ad space almost?
On the wheel, but what if it lands on the slice of the wheel?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
They could name a slice of the wheel.
They could have a piece of the wheel.
The IP for one slice.
Yeah, like a slice and an ad space.
We should spell ad space.
We did that once.
It went well.
It almost got us in huge trouble.
Perfect. Let's do it. But the wheel could It almost got us in huge trouble, but... Perfect.
Let's do it.
But the wheel
could work, though, right?
Yeah, I think that's
a good idea.
Wheel slice.
Can we sell the top
left of the screen
just a square?
Sure.
Yeah, you could put
whatever for the rest
of the episode.
Yeah, if you want to,
like...
As long as it's not,
like, a competing brand
to anything that we
already have sales for.
But that's a good idea,
Nick.
I think that...
Yeah, we did do that.
Yep. We did it on your cast.
Yeah. We got in trouble for that.
Almost.
I feel like we would get in trouble for this.
If you want to tell your girlfriend you love her, put it on the top
of the screen. I bet a business
will buy it because they have the disposable
income, so we just have to vet that business
and make sure. Businesses are watching.
I like that. That's
the money maker.
And the wheel slice.
What if the wheel slice is like, go to
Timbuktu? That's up to them.
I don't think they get to change
it. I think once it's on there,
they have to keep it.
No changes.
Can't be like, kill one of us either.
No.
You've been longing for debt.
Yeah, he's tired.
He's tired.
Yeah, I've had a couple of rough weeks looking for that sweet release.
I got this cowbell.
Ooh.
Somebody made it for me personally when I got hired here.
It's a barstool on a maroon cowbell,
and it's the one signed by Ben Mintz.
He sold that like three times?
Yeah, I think he did.
Y'all did, but now I'm actually selling it.
You know what?
Nobody's going to buy that.
They will.
They will.
Especially Mississippi folk.
This is for Mississippi.
I have a dozen trophy from the Big Apple one, the New York.
It was us against the Honkers, which actually we play tomorrow night.
Check that out.
But, yeah, so I have a dozen trophy for us beating the Honkers.
That seems heavy.
That seems like a lot.
Big money.
And then I have from the infamous Duncan Awards 2019,
I have a Duncan Award. For?
For 2019 Rookie of the Year.
Rookie of the Year.
Wow.
Which they gave to every single person that got hired.
That devalues the thing you're trying to sell.
Six people went up and got their own. Who else got it?
Willie Colon.
Liz.
Liz.
Large.
I can't remember.
Who?
Casey.
I don't remember who else it was but it was six of us
I remember two women
getting it
yeah
I thought it was
too many women too
that was my first year
and I did not receive it
I didn't get one either
hi
lovely ladies
you know that Glenn
he's just like
friends with these women now
and like just goes out
to like random
like cocktail bars
with them
and just like hangs out
like texts with them
he's just like
close friends with these but yeah he went to bars with them and just hangs out, texts with them. He's just close friends with these
people.
He went to Nashville with them.
Everywhere. He just goes everywhere.
He travels all over with them.
It's just like his friend group now.
It's these high-end, only-
People you do your shows with, you're friends with.
I love you guys.
I wasn't joking.
Very fucking funny, Nick.
I'm giving away one of my prized possessions today,
and I don't want to do it, but it's time.
It's for a good cause.
But first things first, if anybody ever saw
the second season of Barstool vs. America,
there was a caveat for KB to be brought over to my winning side.
Oh, no, the purple jacket. KB to be brought over to my winning side. Oh, no.
The purple jacket.
KB's piece.
KB's vintage Tommy Hilfiger piece.
What the fuck?
Wow.
So I'll be bidding on that as well.
Yep, you can.
That's a nice piece.
That is nice.
It cost me $10,000, Kyle, for bringing you over.
KB's vintage piece.
It's a nice jacket.
Yeah.
It's nice and thick. Give it a shake. KB's vintage piece. It's a nice jacket. Yeah, it's nice and thick.
Give it a shake. A dozen live MVP trophy.
Now, Brandon was like, Nick, why would you give that away?
Because I have another.
I've won two.
If you got rid of yours, you'd be out of trophies.
I can give away one of these.
I haven't attended that many live events because there were many.
I've done one more than you.
There were two deaths in my family.
Not my problem.
That's a fun piece if you have a bar in your house or something like that.
Nice little walking point.
Put that on your shelf.
Show that to your wife.
I'll go get that tennis ball for the package, but my prized possession.
Oh, I thought the jacket was your prized possession.
That's Kyle's.
Oh, yes, this.
This is shocking. Getting rid of that? I can't believe he's getting rid of this. Yeah, yes, this. This is shocking.
Getting rid of that?
I can't believe he's getting rid of this.
Yeah, the Bill Stanley Cup.
I would go crazy for this.
Alert your Buffalo friends.
You don't have to do this.
Mississippi's not.
There's going to be other tornadoes.
It's out of date.
They've won two now.
These Mississippi towns are going to look like Dubai when we're done with this.
This is insane.
That's nice.
Yeah.
So I did talk to the governor last night and found out where to send this money.
Right to him.
Straight to him, yes.
Direct deposit.
Straight to his car dealership. Spendmo him. Yeah. So there, yes. Direct deposit. Right to his car dealership.
Spendmo him.
Yeah.
So there you go.
What did you got?
I got, okay, first up, got all this myself, Walgreens multi-gummies.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Did you get those?
A case of pineapple juice with only one pineapple juice drank out of it.
And eyelashes.
That's a girl that remembers what we're doing today.
But also in this mystery bag.
Pins.
The final and last and only remaining Yak basketball jersey.
Wow, that's a good one.
Okay, the very last.
It is a large, and it's a beaut, and the Yak Paperweight.
Whoa.
Oh, rare.
So that also comes with these items.
But this is the only, I think it's the only one left.
I'm pretty certain.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Yep, this is great for the beach, great for the summertime.
Might be the highest bidder.
Yes.
The other thing.
I'm mean by the production room to just show the two other jerseys back there.
Last one.
The other thing I have is an evening with Kate's beef.
Oh, man.
That sounds nice.
Evening with Kate's beef.
Now, should I not reveal what's inside and let it be a mystery?
No, no, no.
Make it known so people can...
Kate, what is the detail that you added
around the beave?
That's wet.
That's real wet.
Okay.
Oh, what's this?
Delicate, beautiful flower.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Ferrero Rocher chocolates.
Oh, very nice.
That's nice. This is classy.
Counterfeit $100 bill. Very nice. Oh is classy. Counterfeit $100 bill.
Very nice.
An assigned and cologne
drenched photo.
Oh my god.
Holy cow.
Oh, it has his
full name. Uggs, drugs, or Uggs, no one
rides for free. Beef.
Okay.
What's Xander's name? SAG after CPR free. Beef. Okay. Wait, wait. What's Xander's name?
Sag after CPR certified.
Here he is.
So do you actually get to spend any time with him as well?
Does that come with like,
can you go out to drinks with him in North Jersey?
I'll tell you this.
We'll FaceTime you one night from bed.
That's awesome.
In our robes.
In our pajamas.
That's a massive come up.
Night with the beef. Evening with That's awesome. In our robes, in our pajamas. That's a massive come up. Night with the beef.
with Kate's beef.
And Dana Beers
is on his way
down to Mississippi now.
30,
lukewarm.
Oh my,
Greer sent the text,
the apology tweet.
Yeah,
it was amazing.
Oh,
funny.
He already has
an apology
for going to Nashville.
I had no idea it was like that disastrous of a natural disaster.
I just wanted to give people beer.
Those are all the things.
I can pile some shit up.
There's a stack of shit right behind you.
Do you have one of those prepackaged meat and cheese sticks?
I ate the second one.
That cheese is insanely good and it's not real.
You're going to give that away?
You're just thinking about it.
There's one more in there. It's not real cheese, but it's phenomenal.
Have a good cactus? Pepper jack ones
are really good.
I'm sorry.
Get rid of your cool shit.
Grab the tennis ball off my desk.
The anus.
And Big Cat will have something.
He's definitely just going to my desk, right?
Yes, he'll be giving away your thing.
There's a loophole for Big Cat if he wanted to get rid of some cash.
If he just left it in something that he was selling.
Pants with money in the pocket or a book with.
Or could we sell like one free Venmo from Big Cat?
If you guys also want to make requests,
but I did bring a bunch of starting lineups here in my bag.
I forgot them.
I also have 30 starting lineups on my desk.
Oh, can I do the Marge Shop bubble head?
No.
Yeah, yeah.
Of course.
Where is it at, though?
It's on my desk.
Okay, cool.
I have a bunch of stuff in here, too.
What about those shoes, Brandon?
Those are nice shoes.
Auction off your shoes.
They are nice shoes.
I'm not going to auction off my shoes. I'm wearing my shoes. You have other shoes. stuff in here, too. What about those shoes, Brandon? Those are nice shoes. Auction off your shoes. They are nice shoes. I'm not going to auction off my shoes.
I'm wearing my shoes.
You have other shoes.
I have other shoes here.
So?
I bet you do.
I have to go home and sock feet.
Yeah, you do.
Don't you bring those shoes in a separate bag?
I do sometimes, but not today.
You don't crease them?
Because these are my everyday shoes.
No, those are creased.
These are my everyday shoes.
It will mean a lot.
You want me to walk around in sock feet?
You want me to walk around like this?
That's how you want me to walk around?
I think that would be a good sell.
I would buy those.
I want you to talk to my friend Schindler about what he would have done.
Right.
Okay?
He would have did all he could and he would have regretted not giving up his shoes.
I don't think he's ever barefoot in that movie.
He is never barefoot in that movie.
He wishes he was at the end.
And that's the moral.
He had to have his shoes.
Or auction off your worn socks for the foot fetish people out there.
Oh, those are pretty socks.
Because those are must.
Guy Fieri, Diners, Drivers, and Dives socks?
Yes, I wouldn't buy those, but if I was in defeat, because they look well worn.
Oh.
That's my Guy Fieri socks.
Some freak out there will buy them.
Yes, absolutely.
Well, I'm not selling the socks either.
Think somebody's ever jerked off to you, Brandon?
No. Yes. Yeah, I think
someone's jerked off to everyone. DM Brandon your
cum tributes.
Yeah, they will.
Oh, they will.
I wish that hadn't happened at all.
Yeah, you should print out your own
headshots at least, though, like the beef has.
Yeah.
So people can at least come on the image that you want them to come on to.
I dictate the come.
Yeah, you dictate the come.
Hmm.
So should we start with.
I think we should wait for Big Cat.
I don't know what he's going to do.
30 minutes in, bro.
He was wearing suits earlier.
This is the precious time that the advertisers could have in the top quarter.
He said he was going to be here in 15 minutes.
Be here in 15, 10 minutes ago.
Oh, so that doesn't add up.
Right.
Nope.
He's been apologetic.
Do we have a show on Friday in here?
Yeah.
I don't be knowing.
I'm not going to be here.
I'm going to Chicago.
Brandon don't be knowing.
Brandon don't be knowing.
We have a show, but what happened? They're going to the Final Four or something? They don't be knowing. We have a show, but what happened?
They're going to the Final Four or something?
They're going to Houston?
Yeah.
We have a show, though.
Yeah.
Let's do something crazy.
The Houston show is at night.
Let's get drunk.
Let's get real drunk.
Let's have Hennessy or some shit.
I won't be here.
No Hennessy.
No Hennessy.
You get to get drunk off of blank cup liquid.
Ooh.
Yeah, duh.
I should get this right to my head.
Pina Colada Day?
Bring in the blender?
Get crazy?
I just don't think we can say what we're drinking.
Blank cup liquid.
Blank cup liquid, though.
I love blank cup liquid.
Or high noon.
I think I'll do both.
I would just do high noon.
Honestly, now that we're talking about high noon.
Yeah, boy.
I just really like to drink it at in a at a leisurely pace really because
the flavor is so robust and sometimes you'll be sipping on a high noon and be like why does this
taste so good why am i enjoying myself right now why am i transcending towards a near nirvana state
and it's really the fact that there's no malt in any high noons. Yes, you're hearing that right. Real vodka, real juice, sparkling
water, no malt.
Not a single drop of malt.
You promise? On
everything. What about like one atom
of malt? There's not a atom,
there's not an eve of malt.
There's nothing in there because
it's perfect. It's the perfect refreshing
drink for a hot day and the days are getting hotter.
They have the big cans now, 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple available. Of course,
I like to drink the grapefruit, but I also have been erring towards the pineapple, and don't you
sleep on that passion fruit. You can really feel how good it makes you feel. Just one single sip
of it. They got the pineapple, the pineapple black cherry watermelon i could go on
for several more seconds but that would be cutting into the time where you could be going to drizzly
or driving over to your local convenience store or your liquor store and getting some high noon
for yourself or you could even visit highnoonspirits.com to find some high noon right by you
make your day right do yourself right get some. Have you ever seen the video of that ice cream taster?
He's a professional ice cream taster.
John Harrison, I believe.
He has a silver spoon because silver
I don't think has any taste.
He scoops the ice cream and just
that's how I am after a
high noon. Can we see the high noon
ice cream taster?
That does activate your taste buds.
Tom Allier's will
aerate it out a little bit. That top note? cream taster. Because that does activate your taste buds like some all yeas will... Yes.
It ferrates it out
a little bit.
That top note?
Yes.
Yeah, John.
How do you get this job?
You've got to describe it.
Probably a genius.
Puts it on.
It's hung that way.
No sound?
Somebody killed our sound.
Oh.
Oh.
So can they hear us now?
Yeah, they can hear you.
Tornado victims and the relief fund.
What is this?
That's me.
That's not the funny video I wanted.
All 9,000 taste buds.
Aerated.
Warm it up.
Driving up.
Sounds like Stephen Chay on a Saturday night.
That cream.
Pure vanilla.
Sweeteners.
That's me after one sip of high-maintenance.
Heaven's all I guess what we're eating.
He was good at that.
ED's ice cream flavor.
What's your guys' favorite?
Vanilla.
He's in cream.
Not flavor.
Brand.
Bluebell.
Ben & Jerry's.
Because it has the wacky, because you're stoner ass.
We're going like, yeah, mainstream.
Yeah.
Ben & Jerry's for taste.
Yeah.
And not like a plain vanilla you would even go Ben & Jerry's?
Or are you just saying for like the Americone dream?
Bluebell.
What's Bluebell?
It's a southern brand.
You got better milk or what?
Moose Tracks does not disappoint. Out of Texas, I think. They had a big food poisoning scare, but a southern brand. They got better milk or what? Her moose tracks does not disappoint.
Out of Texas, I think.
They had a big food poisoning scare, but they're back.
They did.
They're so back.
Oh.
Candy Factory blew up in Pennsylvania.
Blew up big.
Yeah, holy shit.
People don't know how explosive cocoa is.
Yeah.
Might as well be gunpowder.
I went down a-
Smell delicious?
Grain silos.
Did you know the dust from grain silos can just spontaneously combust?
No way.
Google grain silo explosion.
It probably looks cool as hell.
It probably just-
It does.
It's a fucking guy.
The dust, they'll empty them and the dust just explodes.
Fancy.
Look at those shoes.
Wow, shiny.
Shoes are shiny as hell.
You guys didn't dress up for the auction?
What the fuck?
It's a casual auction.
I'm the only one who dressed up for the auction.
I guess I'm the only one who cares about the people who missed it.
I didn't want to wear my auction attire.
It would be troubling.
Yeah, yeah.
What is...
Yeah, we're going through what everybody has so far.
So what did you bring in for this auction?
I want to know what KB brought in as well.
I thought long and hard about what I was bringing.
You go first, KB.
I want to see what you have.
This is Colin donated this.
Colin?
Colin Cooper?
Dougs.
Oh.
Wow, we're going government names.
Fuck ton of memorabilia.
They got Star Wars action figures.
Oh, damn. X-Mans. Did you ask for this? The Fig Pins. Star Wars action figures oh damn
X-Mans
did you ask for this?
the fig pan
that was just under my desk
that was under our desk
he donated this
for this
Caesar salad candy cane
I think that's Vibs
Vibs donated that
yeah
all the collectibles
these are meant to be purchased
Lilo from Lilo and Stitch
Lilo
all the Osmosis
fucking Jones
a lot of fucking Osmosis.
Skellington.
You got Osmosis Jones?
Flubber.
They all come together?
Or you're...
Uh-huh.
Storm.
You know Pikachu has a cameo in Osmosis Jones?
What?
Damn.
Like, just in the background, like Stan Lee or their main character?
Oh, he's just chilling.
All the X-Mans.
Dragon Balls.
You got Nightcrawler?
I don't think...ans, Dragon Balls. You got Nightcrawler? I don't think.
All the Dragon Balls.
Why aren't you wearing a hat?
Just didn't feel like it.
Tennis ball.
And Nick's tennis ball.
Oh, yeah.
Anus tennis ball.
If you ever meet Venus Williams, you got to get that signed,
and you have to send it back, but you could buy it.
Ooh, nice.
So people can just buy that entire box, maybe?
Whole box.
That's probably worth a lot.
Show everything, yeah.
Yeah.
That's like when you buy someone's locker
from a storage closet or something like that
on Storage Wars,
and you just hope that there's good shit in there.
Did you talk to the governor?
I did.
And where are we sending all this money?
We're sending it to the United Way of Mississippiissippi which has set up a fund directly to tornado victims in rolling fork
amory silver city and uh winona okay can we look up what percentage the united way gives to charity
and how much they keep uh 100 of these proceeds 100 of this money is going to tornado victims
all right i will be personally donating to that as well outside of this charity
oh thank you yeah love it um you can run a 5k in under 30 minutes
mince tweeted an update today he was real sweaty but he said he's a little bit under time but
that's good because he's waiting to peak on race day oh we still got to get him set up though i
want i want the official time to be a live stream that we can watch. Can I just say I think that's one of the worst strategies I've ever heard?
Yeah, no.
Go ahead and get under time now.
No, no, no.
You got to peak.
He has a new time on race day.
What if he peaks the day before the race day?
Well, he should peak now and just continue to peak.
He needs to continue.
Yeah, I mean, when you go into the race, like, well, I've done it before, so.
Always be peaking.
Other than just being like, this might work.
If he would figure out a way now to run it in 55 minutes then he would easily cruise through it on race day but
i trained a half marathon one time and like that's 13 miles and they say you're only supposed to go
up to 10 miles and then on race day is like the longest you'll ever go but i wasn't really yeah
i've heard that too they don't even do the full amount never do the full amount until you actually
don't like marathon runners, the really good ones,
don't they run full marathons
before the race
to get their legs warmed up?
Afterwards, they just keep running.
Yeah.
I think they run for...
Maybe not marathoners,
but distance runners, sort of.
They run many miles before the race
to get their legs warmed up.
People like that are as much freaks
as linebackers are.
Yeah.
Someone that can just run that much and just like they need to for their body.
I tried cross country one year and before the first race they were like, you're going
to run like however many miles.
And I was like, no, I'm done now.
I didn't do it.
I was like, I'm not going to do this sport.
That one is enough.
Here's what I brought.
I thought about it really hard.
And by that I mean I just literally turned around in my seat in the PMT studio and grabbed as much stuff as I could.
So, Chad Kelly, Toronto Argonauts jersey.
You just got that.
Yeah, well, we got a bunch.
But Chad would be happy that we're auctioning off a charity.
Chad Kelly, Toronto Argonauts jersey.
We had him on the show.
He's the man.
This is a twofer.
We got part of my flakes, which I think aren't released anymore,
and a box of Flutie Flakes. Oh, shit.
They're also sitting at my desk.
Look at this crew.
This is a one-of-one.
Sir Collect-A-Lot on Instagram made this.
It's the Big Cat action figure. You're a better man than me
because I looked at mine for like 30 seconds
not minutes.
And I was like, should I sell mine? And I was like, nah.
No? Yeah. So Sir Collect-A-Lot
it's the man. Go follow him on Instagram.
One of one it says right here. Wow.
That is valuable. One of one.
He's a very cool guy. So thank you Sir Collect-A-Lot
for sending this to me.
And then we're getting money for people in the tornado.
And this is the piece de resistance.
This is also, well, it's maybe like a one of five.
But I'll never auction this off in any other setting.
This is an original copy of Billy Football's thesis,
How the New York Media Ruins Jets Quarterbacks
Several Case Studies.
Wow. That's like Jerry Maguire's
memo. And if you're a fan of
like Kyrie and Kanye,
there's some literature in here that blames
the New York media
that you might like. Goblins from
Harry Potter? Yeah, you might enjoy it.
So, some illusions.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, he takes some leaps with his thought process.
Yeah, we'll auction that off.
Hell yes.
We also said we're going to auction off an advertisement on the top left corner
as long as it's not a competing brand with something that we're selling here already at Barstool
and a slice of the wheel.
Oh!
I think this is the moneymaker.
Yeah, I have a—
I think we could do every single corner
if you'd be willing to.
Yeah, it would probably
piss people off,
but yeah, yeah, we could.
If it pisses somebody off,
they have to go to the house,
what's left of even,
in Mississippi
where the money went
and have to ask for it back.
Yeah.
Who would that affect, though?
Sales.
Oh.
Maybe we should just
sell the entire thing.
I'd like to stay clear
of pissing off
any advertisers whatsoever.
That's true.
I think it's got to be
like a phrase or something.
I don't think it can be
an actual...
Personal account.
Yes.
Steven, I also have
one last thing.
Could you see if
Pete's at his desk?
ABP?
Yeah.
Are you selling Pete?
What?
Who else would it be?
ABP.
We have all the paintings from Painting Day.
I also have a painting that I don't know if anybody would buy.
The Morning Sunshine painting somebody sent us.
Oh, yeah.
I had two of them.
The Morning Sunshine painting.
That was a show?
Oh, 10X Cardone.
Did you guys see that clip I tweeted last Saturday?
What is that?
You said you liked that show.
It was my jersey from the World Cup.
I was lying.
Germany?
Can you...
Wow.
Can you, TJ, find that clip I tweeted last night?
I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it changed my life.
Should I sell that painting on my big-ass nipples?
It's incredible.
Yes, bro.
Is that too much?
I feel bad for the guy that made that.
It's for an auction.
You're not putting it up.
True.
Like, you're not going to use it.
Why not?
You've got to give it away.
It's like Marie Kondo.
Thank it for its service to you and then give it away.
Does it bring you joy?
The goal.
It's true.
All right, I'll get it.
Goal number I had in my mind was $10,000.
$10,000.
I like that.
I think we could blow that out.
Oh, blow it out of the water.
I think we could get to $15,000, maybe $20,000.
What we sell. Is that there? All water. I think we could get to 15, maybe 20 grand. What we sow.
Is that there?
All right, I'll call him.
If we don't reach it, we just have to keep finding more shit around the office until we do.
He just walked by, he said?
Right before you, I think he had just walked by.
Ducking me.
What, you got beef with ABP?
No, I just have an idea.
Simple Thoughts, starter.
I'm excited that we're raising all this money.
Did we do all the...
Hey, Pete, Pete, can you come to the act real quick?
Yeah, when I'm free.
When are you free?
2.30.
2.30?
All right, so here's what...
I'll just say it on the phone.
We're raising money for people impacted by the tornadoes in Mississippi.
We're auctioning off a bunch of stuff.
I said I was going to personally donate some money.
I was planning on donating $1,000, but I'm feeling very generous.
Let's make it $5,000 if you get wet.
Let me think about it.
No, no, not think about it.
Okay, so you don't care about the people who are impacted by it.
Oh, yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
You don't?
You don't care about the people in Mississippi?
I do.
Well, they get an extra $4,000.
All you have to do is get wet.
Or all you have to do is just donate it to them.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I am wondering if you care about the people in Mississippi.
I do.
It sounds like you don't. It sounds like you don't.
It sounds like you don't.
I'm already donating.
It's being very reasonable here.
I'm being very reasonable.
You can just do it.
No, I'm already donating.
Yeah, all you have to do.
You can always donate more.
You know what?
I'll send a couple pictures of the people who lost their homes,
see if that gets it going, all right?
I would hope that as you screenshot those pictures, that you
think about it.
I'm selling this thing, too.
Wow. Holy shit.
Wow. Hell yes.
What is that behind you? Is that a little Sasquatch?
I think so.
It's beautiful. Great abs.
Those are pregnancy nipples. Really?
Nipples get bigger when you get them? Oh, they get. Really? Nipples get bigger when you get bigger.
Oh, they get bigger than that.
Everything gets bigger.
What?
Yep.
They get bigger than that.
And dark like that.
That's pregnancy nipples.
Hell no.
So for the fellas into that.
Do you find out what happens to the vagina?
That's a-
The what?
Huh?
No chance.
Oh, no.
No chance.
No, no, no.
Don't be crazy.
Wait, are they part of the show?
Hi.
Very attractive.
What's going on there?
That couple is an extremely attractive couple.
Who are they?
I don't know.
Who are these people?
Why are they so good looking?
Who the fuck are those people?
They're so good looking.
What the hell?
Are they real people?
I bet he's not.
Nick's collar is a little bit turned up in the back right.
I bet you that dude's not even funny.
Yeah, he's not funny.
I don't know.
He looks good looking and funny.
But his girl is hilarious.
Bet she's not quirky or goofy at all.
Hank!
Get Harris.
Grab him.
Who is that person?
Oh, he doesn't know.
He doesn't know either.
He just said, who is that?
I thought they were... What was that?
That was
The Bachelor. Oh.
We should have known.
He said, I hope I get the lottery ball.
Oh, that's funny.
But he probably doesn't. Looked great.
I couldn't... So, he said,
this is my fiance. Does that mean she won The Bachelorette?
Oh, shit. Wait, is that fiancee. Does that mean she won The Bachelorette? Oh, shit.
Wait, is that a spoiler?
Oh, no.
You just spoiled it.
No, I think that's what it means.
Either way, you spoiled it, yeah.
No, the finale was last night.
Oh, okay.
I don't know if it's like, you know, someone else won and then he got remarried.
You want me to get him on?
No, not at all.
We wanted to get the guy who talked to the guy.
Yeah. It's way more important. Throw me a nerd, though. Throw me a nerd, brother. No, not at all. We want to get the guy who talked to the guy. Yeah.
It's way more important.
Throw me a nerd, though.
Throw me a nerd, brother.
Yeah, throw me a couple of those.
Hank, can you believe that Pete doesn't like Pete's Pro Tornado?
We found that out today.
Hank, throw in some money for the Pete Wet Fund.
Yeah.
He is very handsome.
I'll throw in $500.
$20.
Well, Kyle, I'm going to donate $5,000 anyway.
I'm trying to get Pete.
So don't worry.
No, I have an amount that I would only donate if he got wet.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
That's good.
That's good because I was going to donate anyway.
$200.
But now I'm going to make him try to –
I'm going to try to get something for the Yak fans
for the money that I was already going to donate anyway.
Yeah, I'll do $200 too.
I'll match you, Kyle.
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
All right.
This is real money that won't go if Pete doesn't do it.
What? Super chat
donations? Super chat.
Throw me a nerd, bro. I think I'm addicted.
Maybe throw us the bag, though. I don't want to get all your palmy
ones. Alright, throw me another palmy.
Dude, I'm wearing a suit. Yeah, he is.
You can't be palming a suit.
Alright. Good? Yeah.
Thanks. Thank you. Thank you, guys.
Let's do any other ads, or should we get into the auction well we haven't done everything we haven't done any of them we've
done we've done uh the drink one and we've done roback yeah the bachelor said that to him
he just he just gets 10 oh you won you just you. You beat Hank. No way.
It's that easy, folks.
It's that easy.
It's so easy.
It's that easy.
That shit is freaking easy.
It's so fucking easy.
They haven't done Shady Razor Chili's.
Most of those relationships don't actually wind up working out on The Bachelorette.
I think like 90% of them don't wind up working out.
Throw it in the trash.
Maybe that makes sense.
Talkify.
Talkify has to be Nick.
Nick.
Why does it have to be me?
She's the best talker.
It says Nick to read.
It does say Nick to read.
Don't believe it says Nick to read, do you?
Flattering.
Talkify.
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This is me.
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Love it.
Let's go.
Talkify.
Let's go.
Talkify.
Shout out to Talkify.
You were the perfect man to read that.
You were.
It's how I met my wife.
Right.
That's right. We get this bitch. And we're the perfect man to read that. It's how I met my wife. Right. That's right.
Should we get this bitch started?
We're the perfect couple.
Let's do some auctions.
Did we know what we can do with the corners of the screen?
Should we start with those?
I think we should end on those.
Yeah, let's not do that.
You got to start on the small ones.
If we don't end on them, we won't have time to put them up.
People warmed up.
Why don't we just sell tomorrow's episode?
Okay.
I'm down with that.
You're not here Friday?
Or Thursday.
Are we doing a show? Or Monday.
Yeah. Or Thursday.
We're having a
mystery cup show.
What? Where we drink out of a mystery cup.
Hey, what the fuck? I want to be there.
Friday, I send you a mystery cup.
Brother, we're not even going to be there. You know what I'm saying? Wait, what are there I'd Send you a mystery cup Brother we're not even
Going to be there
You know what I'm saying
Wait what are you
Going to put in the mystery cup
Mystery loco
Mystery
Who knows
Can we do it
Fuck
It's cause it's Friday
The nature of it is that
What about the next Friday
You can do it the next Friday too
I just want to be a mystery cup
I just want to be a mystery cup
Thanks
Fuck
I really want to be
A mystery cup
You guys got to do the mystery.
It was TJ's design.
TJ, you designed it when I wasn't here?
No, they said they wanted to do H-Word Friday,
and I said it has to be Mystery Cup.
Oh, okay.
H-Word.
Got it.
You guys are doing heroin or what?
Yeah, we're doing heroin.
Yeah, heroin.
Fuck.
I was going to say, but out of a cup.
All right, well, you guys will have fun.
Maybe I'll get to do one someday.
Codeine and cough syrup or some shit like that?
Robo tripping?
I've never tried that.
DJ, can you play that real quick?
You would love it.
Sorry.
Lean?
Yeah.
I can't come home this weekend.
I got heroin in front of me.
Watch this clip.
Okay.
So they're like, no, no, don't come by.
But see, that was interest.
To me, that's interest.
No, no, I'm not interested.
Not interested is...
So not interested to you is interest.
Well, it is.
It says not interested.
Not is an adjective to describe interest.
Okay.
Right?
So it's a level of interest.
So if someone says they're not interested...
On a scale from zero to 10, what interest level do you have?
None.
That is a level.
Right. Right.
Okay, and then one, two, three, four, five.
You with me?
A few minutes ago, he didn't know he had no interest.
At least I'm on it.
You see what I'm saying?
He doesn't care.
I disagree with that.
But I'm going to say, reasonable minds can differ.
I'm more about hitting massive numbers.
I would move on to the next guy.
So the guy he's talking to is Jordan Belfort
Wolf Wall Street.
He's talking to like the biggest scammer ever
and the biggest scammer ever is like,
you're wrong.
Also, fellas, that's the best way to approach women
too. If they say, I'm not interested,
keep going. That's a level of interest.
Leave them alone. Zero's a number.
Grant Cardone just
keeps crushing life.
So Cardone was on the right disagreeing with Jordan Belfort?
Jordan Belfort was disagreeing with Cardone.
Oh, really?
That's Jordan Belfort.
Halfway through, Belfort decides this guy's bullshit.
That's Grant Cardone?
Yes.
What the fuck?
Did he completely change every part of his face?
I think he might have had some stuff done.
Oh, yeah. It'll work.
And X'd his face. Looks great.
I'm interested.
Yeah.
You weren't. Now I am.
But even if you weren't, you would be. Do you see?
Right. Now I see.
Before we even had this conversation, you didn't even know about your interest.
How do you actually get
completely uninterested?
There's no such thing. Once you know,
it's impossible.
You're aware of the thing.
You have a level of interest.
That's so funny.
That's such a funny idea.
But it works.
Then they're like, okay, I guess I'm a low level of
interest. It still doesn't mean I'm going to do anything.
But then you get a higher.
Have you ever read a book or watched a movie about Nazis?
Yes.
You're a Nazi.
You're a little bit interested.
Yeah.
You're a little interested.
There it is.
See how easy that is?
You are making good points.
Out of the juice.
I was thinking I was not a Nazi.
Little do I know, I am a full-blown Nazi.
Yeah.
You're the Nazi.
As soon as you're aware of anything, you now are that.
Dude, he's a persuasive guy.
God, he's a genius.
Yeah, just the fact that Jordan Belfort was like, what the fuck?
Dude, you kind of sound like a scammer.
Yeah, like, dude.
Can you hit on women that way?
Like, what's your interest level?
Yeah.
Let me get that up. None. Not interested? None? So I'm hearing those words. You're like, dude. Can you hit on women that way? Like, what's your interest level? Yeah. Let me get that up.
None.
Not interested?
None?
So I'm hearing those words, bro.
Zero word of interest.
Only way to go is put up.
I accept the challenge.
Yeah.
Yeah, we like that.
All right, should we start this auction?
Yeah, let's do this.
Links in the chat if you want to join.
Oh, yeah, let me tweet out the land.
I'm testing it to the accuracy.
Brandon, pitch me those nerds, bro.
I'm fully addicted.
They are. How'd I get here? Those are the most goaded candy out right now. I don't to the Yakker. Brandon, pitch me those nerds, bro. I'm fully addicted. They are.
How'd I get here?
Those are the most go-to candy out right now.
I don't have my phone on.
There's so much sugar in them
that it's affecting my brain like a drug.
Yesterday, I ate 50 of them with a pineapple juice,
and my stomach was pure acid.
Oh, yeah, that's got to be a weird feeling.
Yep, it wasn't good.
Atlanta's doing some new shit.
They're rolling up pineapples and fruit roll-ups,
adding fruits and gummies
Freezing them
We watched the grape video
That's old
What are they doing now?
They're rolling up pineapples and fruit roll-ups
Putting them in the freezer
Crunching them
That sounds good
What happens to a pineapple when you freeze it?
It's frozen.
Yeah, I don't know.
Believe it or not, even if it's not frozen, it is a level of frozen.
Whoa.
A lot of people wouldn't know that.
Right.
It's just at the lowest level of frozen.
Wow.
Holy shit.
You can do that with anything.
You're right. What's our goal?
10K.
I think we're going to shoot past 10K.
We'd already be halfway there.
Pete would just get wet.
Jesus Christ, what an absolute monster.
Let me start.
Can you get maybe on the phone someone who is impacted?
Can we get them talking to Pete
so Pete can tell them to their face he doesn't care about it.
They don't have phones.
Phones are all gone.
Alright, only real bidders.
Let's not do the thing where we sold
this phone's book for
$20,000.
It's funny if it's for the slush fund or whatever and because it's been done
it's extremely corny if you do that for charity.
Also, let me just say this right now.
We're going to try our best to make sure that all this money doesn't somehow end up in Stephen
Shay's pockets.
We'll try our best.
You really never know.
We don't know how this will go.
I'm like 90% sure it will be.
If a little bit of the money is in his pocket.
We might make a couple wrong turns here,
and it ends up that Steven goes on another vacation.
Those nerds are crazy.
Anything is possible.
Oh, Steven, you're supposed to say no, I will not accept.
No.
No.
We'll let the wheel decide.
We're about to go live. Oh, I'm about to go live
Oh, we're about to go live?
Oh, look at you
What the hell?
Hot in 4K eating candy
Joe, I'm about to have a cavity as big as Sass
But if you got a cavity in your pocket
That's itching to get filled
There he goes
With some freaking merchandise
There he goes
Well, I got this on sale for you it's a starter
this is a a starter jack artifact from fucking days of yore on barstool you got the starter on
the back it's barstool one of one i think from 2016 usa american flag on the arm, size large, wearable as all hell.
You're going to be wearing this.
This isn't going to be something that you're going to be throwing up on your shelf
like some of these other guys are trying to sell you.
This isn't going to be something edible that's going to disappear,
that you're going to turn into poop inside your body.
This is something that you're going to wear for the rest of your life.
You're going to pass this on to your children. Your children will pass it on to their children.
Their children will pass it on to the robots that they wind up having sex with in the future.
This is good and it's for a good cause and it's rare and it's steezy. You might be able to buy a nice piece later on, but this here is a piece worth buying.
$215 is a good deal, but it's a steal right now.
$225 is stealing this out of my hands right now.
You're stealing money from the folks down in Mississippi, but if that's the best way that you want to get a good deal,
$235, $245, you're waiting until the last second to get in on this.
Go in close to the camera. I want to see the details. to get in on this. No one close to the camera.
I want to see the details.
The details.
That's what it's all about.
It's fully embossed.
The stitching is completely untouched.
There's not a single thread that's out of place.
265, the starter jacket zipper may or may not be solid gold.
Absolutely fantastic.
Next level stuff.
275 for this. 27 fantastic. Next level stuff. $2.75 for this.
$2.75 for a good cause.
It's a large drawstrings right here.
If you have a gold wedding ring, fellas, it's going to go really well with that.
If you like to wear a gold chain, it's going to go really good with the gold that you have that you like to wear.
Gold's also a mindset.
If you wear gold, you'll feel gold.
You'll reach your goals
and that's what's going to happen that's why you're paying 345 for this but you're still
really robbing us hell yeah right now you pay 345 you're taking 365 is even just such an incredible
deal that it's almost like we're the victims here not the folks down in mississauga 385 what do you
say what do you say to the people at home that are like,
this doesn't even have freaking pockets?
Of course it has pockets.
Oh.
It has this beautiful pouch.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that can fit a lot.
405.
It has a Velcro, but also this nice zipper feature.
It's bought.
Wait.
Sold.
405.
All right.
405. All right. That's a good start. It's bought. Sold. Woo! World 5. All right. World 5.
Way to go. World 5.
All right.
That's a good start.
That's a fun door.
Good start.
Heads up.
Mareshfan33 says he would pay $10,000 for dinner with Maresh.
Oh.
Jenks, you got to quit it.
Yeah.
That's-
Call Maresh.
Jenks is OD right now.
Who said that?
Mareshfan33 fan Believe him yeah
Yeah
Dude
All the other numbers
Before that were taken
Moresh fan
One through
All taken
It's a tough name to grab
Alright good job bro
How you up?
Hell yeah
How do you want to go?
Dinner with Moresh
I can go
I can go
Which one?
I feel like we saved Big Cat for the end because his are the best.
Oh, okay.
I'll just do one.
I'll save a couple.
Yeah, get the ball rolling.
Okay.
All right.
I'll do the other one.
I'll do the flakes and the one of one, whatever it's called, action figure.
This will be Chad Kelly, given to us by Chad Kelly,
Toronto Argonauts jersey.
Former Ole Miss quarterback.
Former Ole Miss quarterback, and it will come with also
how the New York media ruins Jets quarterback,
several case studies.
This is made by Billy.
No one else will ever own one of these,
and you'll have the Chad Kelly jersey.
Oh, you get both?
Yeah, you get both.
What the hell? We're doing both together because Billy you'll have the Chad Kelly. Oh, you get both? Yeah, you get both.
What the hell?
We're doing both together because Billy is the number one Chad Kelly fan,
so you get both in this auction.
Holy crap.
And Chad Kelly's the man.
Size XL.
Grey Cup champion.
Grey Cup champion.
Chad Kelly. If you wear that to the bar this summer, that's the rarest.
We're live, and we're live, and it's going to be awesome.
And you have a piece of literature that you can just be sitting at the bar reading.
Someone says, what do you got there?
It's a full report.
Oh, it's a full report.
It's a full report.
Mitchell report.
I think there's a bibliography.
It's like the 9-11 commission report.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a bibliography.
Works cited.
Let's see.
I'll pick out a passage if I can while it's still live.
Works cited the Torah.
Stay live, yeah.
All right, so this is about the New York media.
The large quantity of snakes in the competition.
Don't read too much.
Don't give it away too much.
Oh, we sold.
What?
260.
Okay.
Wow.
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Not a lot of Billy football fans.
It's like 65.
All right. Give it to me. I'll do it. You want lot of Billy football fans. It's like 65. All right.
Do it to me.
I'll do it.
You want it, Brandon?
Which one are you going first?
I'm going to go with the piece of dozen history.
Brandon, are you on the dozen this week?
I am.
I am.
What day?
I believe I'm airing Wednesday night.
How'd it go?
Thursday will be a very interesting day around Barstool headquarters.
Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting.
It's quite the ordeal.
It is quite the ordeal.
I hope you didn't cheat.
I didn't cheat.
Oh, okay.
Then you have nothing to worry about.
Well, good.
I didn't cheat.
Could someone come away from it saying you did cheat?
Well, they'd be wrong.
Oh, okay.
From personal experience, it's best to get ahead of things and just admit what you did.
Because what I heard is you cheated.
Well, you're spoiling a lot now.
No, I'm not.
People are going to watch it.
Okay.
Well, I didn't cheat.
Okay.
That's the spoiler.
I didn't cheat.
Oh, that doesn't get people to watch.
I think it's better to just admit it when you do say it. You do realize even if you didn't cheat, you still are at a level of cheating.
That's the thing.
You've entertained cheating.
Welcome cheating.
You're just at the lowest level of cheating.
Not is just an adjective to describe the amount of cheating that you did.
People want to see you cheat.
Not's definitely not an adjective.
Not's the adjective that's unique.
It's the most powerful adjective in the English language.
All right.
So I don't know when it goes live.
But this is a dozen trivia trophy.
I actually didn't ask Jeff permission to do this.
But this is from the Battle of New York where we played the Honkers.
It was an exhibition match.
But we won this for winning the match.
And I guess, you know what?
I don't know if it means anything.
But I'll throw in a Battle for Arizona trophy too.
Two trophies.
Two dozen trophies.
Oh.
The Arizona trophy is broken.
Three-ten already.
Let's go.
Three-dozen.
Four-ten.
And this is a very well-made trophy.
We should also say, much like Reggie Bush's Heisman,
there's a chance that those get taken away from you
after we find out that Brandon cheated.
That's why he's getting out ahead of it now.
5-92, 6-12. I'm why he's getting out ahead of it now. $5.92, $6.12.
I'm liquidating my assets ahead of what's coming.
Well, this is a charitable write-off from you, too, at $6.32,
which is a nice write-off.
Which one is that?
The Battle of?
This is the New York when we were in New York.
A story about it.
On that one as well.
So you have one of these trophies, too.
Yeah, that's right.
This was not a tournament.
This was just individual matches.
7-12.
I took this off Fran's desk.
I didn't tell her about it either, but I
have this right here. And I couldn't find
my jacket, my MVP jacket from Arizona
the last live show where I won the MVP.
I couldn't find that. I didn't partake in that one.
No, you were there.
I wasn't competing. But you were there.
Yeah, I was holding the show together at halftime.
That's what he's saying.
You've never beaten Nick in a live show.
In a live show, no, but I've beaten him.
Correct.
Well, no, that's incorrect.
I have beaten him in the...
772, 792.
That's not live.
That was live.
It's taped.
Do you know what live means?
I know what live means.
I don't even want to accept that victory because Minions was still a crazy answer not to accept.
That's okay. Okay. Here we go. We're still going? We sold what live means. I don't even want to accept that victory because Minions was still a crazy answer not to accept. That's okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
We're still going?
We sold it?
Sold.
$812?
Holy shit.
There we go.
All right.
We sold them separately.
Good job, Brandon.
Well, we're at $1,400.
$1,480.
Something like that.
That's good.
Awesome.
We're off to a good start.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Aria, my bid went through, right?
Yes.
Everything has gone through so far.
I bought that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Hold on, can we prove?
Give it up.
I bought that for $800.
Give me my trophy.
The sale is pending.
The sale is pending.
Give me my trophy.
Who bought it, Aria?
I did.
Reshfan 30.
I don't know that.
Give me my trophy. You don't know that. How I did. Resh Fan 30. I don't know that. Give me my trophy.
You don't know that.
How would he lie about charity?
Both of those trophies.
Tell me proof that you bought this.
I get both of those trophies.
Now, Aria has my account.
He just bought it for me.
Brandon, you have to at least put it on the shipping platform.
Give it to me.
I will give it to you.
If it is my trophy.
If it's proven that you bought it, I will give it to you.
I won the trophy in an auction.
Put it in an escrow on the shipping platform.
You won the trophy. Yeah, it you bought it. I won the trophy in an auction. Put it in an escrow on the shipping price. You won the trophy.
Yeah, it's his trophy.
I am champion.
Big Cat bought it.
Yes.
Thank you, everyone.
Nice.
Oh, you won the dozen trophy.
You did it.
We've won a lot of trophies.
You just won two trophies.
Yeah, I won two trophies.
Oh, my God.
The other one's on my desk.
Yeah.
Bring it here.
Bring it here.
Go get it.
I want both.
I bought both. I bought both.
You put both in.
Is that the Battle of Arizona where we were supposed to play him and it ended up being forfeit?
Yes.
I bought both trophies.
I want both trophies.
I'm going to put them on my desk.
Wow.
Congrats, Big Cat.
Thank you very much.
I won this trophy.
Good work.
It's fucking incredible.
Oh, wow.
I was in champion.
Come up.
Roan, Che, you guys can also have this trophy.
We'll share in that.
It's a team win, really.
Obviously, I didn't buy this trophy.
What a fucking idiot.
I can't believe he fell for that.
Shout out to the person who did buy the trophies.
That was too easy.
I thought you did.
I really thought you bought it.
That was too fucking easy.
I wish I had thought to buy it.
That would have been better. 8-12 is a nice come up. It's like a very specific you bought it. That was too fucking easy. I wish I had thought to buy it. That would have been better.
812 is a nice come up.
It's like a very specific number for it.
Should we do KB's piece next or should we do this Bill's bike?
We do Frank's.
By the way, no one tell Brandon that I didn't actually buy the trophies.
We will ship it to the person who actually bought them,
but I want that to keep going.
That's the episode.
I'm a champ.
I'm a two-time champ.
Okay.
Nikki?
Oh, boy.
It's time.
All right.
Hold on.
Should I move the camera?
Yeah.
Thank you.
This is my other trophy.
Appreciate it.
See this?
See this, Leo?
Brandon, do you feel...
Oh.
Look at that.
An auction for two trivia trophies, and I bought both of them, so now I am the rightful
winner of both of these trophies.
It only cost me $812.
You didn't win them.
You just bought them.
No, no, no.
I won them at an auction. If you bought Joe DiMaggio's World Series ring, that bought them. No, no, no. I won them at an auction.
If you bought Joe DiMaggio's World Series ring,
that doesn't make you a World Series winner.
I won it at an auction.
You can't dispute the fact that he won the trophies.
Right.
He's not a World Series ringer, but he won the ring.
I won these trophies.
Look at that.
Wow, massive come up.
Huge.
Congratulations, Big Cat.
Thank you.
Big win. Congratulations to you, too, Team Yak. Thank you. Big win.
Congratulations to you too, Team Yak.
Shit, Che.
We have the most.
No, no, no, because you won them.
They didn't do shit.
He's sharing them with us.
I've already shared them with you.
Steve and Che had nothing to do with winning this.
Steven and Roan, will you both give me $250?
Of course.
No problem.
Yeah.
All right, great.
Team trophies. Team trophies. You could have said $2. No problem. All right, Greg. Done.
Team trophies.
Team trophies.
You could have said $2.
No, I wanted to.
It's about a third.
It's about equity.
Yeah.
We're a team.
We're all owners in this together.
You lost two trophies.
Yeah, he did.
He lost two trophies.
Oh, man.
It's a tough, tough break for Brandon.
All right.
What do you got, Nick?
So I know what everybody at home is thinking.
This isn't rare.
They printed these off like hotcakes when they won.
Yes.
But this is for a good cause.
It's the Buffalo Bills Stanley Cup Champions banner.
It's been hanging in my apartment since college.
When they first won.
When they first won. When they first won.
So it's dated.
Because they have three now?
They were damn near a dynasty.
Yeah, yeah.
So we are auctioning off.
Oh, it's live.
Okay, 201, 211.
How tall would we say this is?
Six feet.
Six feet tall.
No way, it's six feet.
Well, your six feet is completely eclipsing you.
Probably like four and a half.
It's the size of me.
And of course it has the... That's 60 by 36.
It's old. 221.
It's old.
It's fast.
Nice.
Are you mad that it only sold for
221? No, these are common.
Yeah.
Very common.
Wow, that was nice of you to part with that.
Yeah, that's kind of crazy.
Did you buy that as well?
No, I didn't buy it.
I just got the trophies.
I won both of these trophies.
All right.
Feels great having them in my trophy closet.
Sash, you're up.
Oh, I don't know.
You said all right like you were up.
You did say all right.
I'm just addicted to selling.
I wanted more.
It's a little close, don't we think?
No.
It's about the same as it was for everybody else.
You want some distance?
Yeah, give me a little distance.
Give me some space.
I guess I'll go with the painting.
Work your way up to the painting.
Go with the...
Alright, then we won't go with the painting.
We'll go with the Frank the Tank Christmas card.
I think that's the big ticket item.
That is the big ticket. Frank the Tank, yeah, probably way better. No one wants with the painting. We'll go with the Frank the Tank Christmas card. I think that's the big ticket item. That is the big ticket.
Frank the Tank, yeah, probably way better.
No one wants the fucking painting.
We'll go with the Frank the Tank Christmas card.
It is signed by Frank the Tank.
It's actually not addressed to anyone.
It could be to you.
This is a reusable thing.
You can hang this up over the fireplace.
That's a fridge piece.
Yeah, keep this up.
Just bring it up like it's a Christmas ornament every year.
It has the timeless peanut characters
on the front.
It's a fridge piece, so maybe a little bit more than
$95.
Alright.
We're getting there.
Then jump right on with your next...
No, I don't want to go.
Aria, why do some sell immediately
and some sell longer?
Because when it hits $95
bid... Yeah, it's's bidding so it's like counting
down to 10 seconds and then it gets to one second and then someone bids and it resets to 10
every time so it keeps going it just keeps going okay eight yeah sure i'll go 1793
i will do the evening with kate's beef hell The Eve with the Beave. Hell yes. The Eve with the Beave.
And you'll smell it before you open it.
It is actually doused in Pat's very own unique cologne.
Homemade.
It's homemade.
First thing, nice little rose.
What's its fragrance?
Highly recommend.
It's eau de beave.
It's just the essence of beave.
A counterfeit $100 bill.
Okay.
Getting your money back immediately.
Chocolates.
All right.
Oh, $145 already?
What?
And then here he comes.
Look at that.
There it is.
Look at this.
You frame this.
You put this above your bed.
It's old.
And I promise.
Sexy times ahead.
Thank you to whoever bought this.
You're going to have a great evening. I smell it. With the beef. Oh, yeah. You can truly smell it. Sexy times ahead. Thank you to whoever bought this. You're going to have a great evening.
I smell it.
With the beef.
Oh, yeah.
You can truly smell it.
Reeks of beef.
Thank you to whoever bought this.
Appreciate it.
Let's not forget that bedtime FaceTime.
And we will throw in a bedtime FaceTime with the two, me and the beef, in bed.
In our robes.
In our robes, which we are always wearing.
Love it.
Love it.
Yeah, beef is a smelly man. Love it. Love it. Yeah, B.E.A.V. is a smelly man.
All right, we're 8,000 short, so.
We've got to get something to go.
We've got to start selling something.
8,000 is a big, big number to cover.
Let's do Caleb's phone number.
Let's sell Caleb's phone number.
Ooh, that's a good call.
Let's do that.
All right, go ahead.
No, I'm not.
No, no, no.
What's next? Here, I'll do the Duncan Award.
Duncan Award's good. It's not addressed
to anyone either, right? Oh, it's just
your own personal Duncan Award. Did you win that?
Yeah, 2019 Rookie of the Year.
Alright, you know what to do.
This is the one where everybody got reamed out,
right? Yes.
The infamous Duncan Awards where everybody got yelled at.
You won that.
I won the 2019 Rookie of the Year,
myself and seven or eight other people.
Okay, now we're already at 200.
This is a Duncan Award.
This is Barstool history right here.
282.
This is lore.
It really is Barstool history.
People are just being nice to Brandon.
Yeah, yeah.
Pity you.
We should have had you auction it.
Yeah, keep selling everything.
Duncan Award.
So this is, yeah, so here you go.
What would you do with a Duncan Award, by the way?
Mantle piece.
Oh, yeah, mantle piece.
That's a mantle piece.
You're like a desk piece, honestly.
I have a trophy case that I need to fill.
$3.90, wow.
A lot of people would be asking, what is that?
And you have a great story.
Duncan Award, look at that.
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up.
Not a lot of people in this company even got Duncan Awards.
I don't have one.
That's real bronze.
I wasn't even here yet.
It's real bronze.
Right.
I don't even know if Duncan has that sandwich anymore.
That's a sandwich of the past.
That's a sandwich sandwiched on a sandwich, too.
Double sandwich, which is rare.
$450, $470.
I mean, $490.
I believe it's pure gold.
That's pure gold.
You are coveted, honestly.
People kind of protect these jealously with their lives.
Tommy Smokes wouldn't even part with this.
Most people here have them at home.
$490.
It's solid.
That's insane.
Wow.
The people who won those don't come in.
The trophies are it.
Do we have more trophies?
Yeah. I have a dozen MVP. Oh, yeah. Did people who won those don't come in. The trophies are – do we have more trophies? Yeah.
I have a dozen MVP.
Oh, yeah.
Did I get that one?
Big Cat, congratulations.
Yes.
Big Cat, you got that one.
Thank you.
$4.90.
Thank you.
Another come up for Big Cat.
Look at this.
My trophy closet is growing.
Rookie of the Year in 2019.
I've had quite the career at personalstool sports just look at my trophies
now why does that even matter to you at all he loves charity i want a trophy who doesn't want
to win trophies i'm hoping to get rookie of the year at the end of this year here i'll just move
it to you no no you're better at selling better at selling better at selling they all want to
buy from you oh shit is this a trophy you want to this isn't mine it's mine all right next all right so this is another dozen uh piece of memorabilia from which live show the fireball on fire mvp
boston 2022 so the boston show nick won the mvp that's not just a fireball bottle on top that is
like a resin cast it's a nice piece yeah that's also pure gold. So here, this is his MVP
trophy from
Boston, where he won
the live show MVP. I've put it already.
And we guarantee you this will
break in the mail.
Yeah.
120%.
Why are the bids going down?
It's barely glued on.
No, it is. It's stable.
Well, okay. It's stable. Well, okay.
It's a beautiful piece.
$562.
$562.
$562 is pretty good.
Yeah.
That's all you guys got?
$562?
$562 is the original price.
This is the dozen.
All right, sold.
Yay.
Ass in jackpot.
Thank you.
Who bought it?
Ass in jackpot.
Sounds like they're-
$562 for that is actually a steal.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
So we're a quarter of the way there.
No, well, we can count my-
$5,000?
I'm going to donate, yeah.
And don't get down.
We also have a wheel slice and all these-
Oh, yeah, let's do that.
Can we do the wheel slice right now?
We're basically at $3,000.
Okay, so, all right, wheel slice then.
I think people are going to be surprised at how well this painting does.
I'm thinking $10,000 minimum.
Let's do Seth's painting.
Brandon, here, pass this down.
Nips.
I'm selling your painting?
Yeah, you.
No one wants to buy from me.
You're the best salesman.
Everyone wants to buy from Brandon.
You have kind eyes.
Let me take a look at it and see if I want it.
Nope.
All right.
You don't want to hang that up in your house?
It's a great living room piece. I don't have to hang that up in your house? Four small towns are integrated in Mississippi.
It's a great living room piece.
I don't have enough room with all these trophies.
The country that needs all the help it can get rebuilding, 100% of proceeds will go to Tornado Relief Fund.
This is the little sass painting.
Look at those things.
One of a kind.
400.
Oh, my God.
This is a really big painting. This is a great piece for the man cave or the lady cave. Or of a kind. 400. Oh my God. This is also, it's a really big.
This is a great piece
for the man cave
or the lady cave.
Or your college house.
You get your money together
with your college buddies.
If you can afford
to throw a keg party.
You can't even put
the whole thing in there.
Sass, you were 17
when you took that photo.
Those are underage nipples.
Call me by your name, Faze.
Those might get you
in trouble with the law.
But they're beautiful. Those are good nipples. That's a. 504, all right. name, FaZe. Those might get you in trouble with the law. But they're beautiful.
Those are good.
That's a 504.
All right.
Wow, 504.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Only 9,500 short of what I was expecting.
Lamar Jackson out here.
Awesome.
Yeah.
All right, this box is a little ripped, but I've never opened it.
All right, you got the list of everything that's going where and stuff?
So this is part of my flakes.
Never being released again.
And don't hold me to that.
Wow.
And Flutie Flakes and the one of one.
Yeah.
Big Cat action figure.
All right.
So this is right from the PMT studio.
Number one is the one of one Big Cat.
As soon as we go live, I guess I can show that to the camera.
Action figure.
There you go.
The Big Cat action figure.
That's a good one.
One of one right there along with the box of Flutie Flakes.
That's going to be a big one.
Yeah, yeah.
And then once again, the never to be released again possibly.
Pardon my flakes.
Money.
Yeah.
661 already.
Again.
Collector, collector, collector.
Big Cat, one of one right there.
Flutie Flakes and Pardon My Flakes all in the same pack.
Oh, my God.
Is this going to hit 1,000?
Let's get this up to 1,000.
It's up to 1,000.
Somebody get this up to 1,000.
Someone be a man.
For God's sake.
Someone's waiting until the last second to get over that 801.
One of one.
It's one of one.
There it is.
Waiting until the last second.
One of one on Big Cat and then, of course, the Pardon My Flakes.
And this box is hanging on for dear life.
But it's still, it's never getting recreated.
It's like a Honus Wagner.
Yes.
All right.
821.
Let's go.
Good sale, Big Cat.
Also, there's a word search game on the back of this that hasn't been filled out.
That'd be fun to do.
We could have sold that beforehand.
Yeah, I wish we knew that.
Well, I can tell you now.
It's already sold.
It's already sold?
821. That was my bus and they ran over my dog really damn it's sorry well that's good keep going sob
stories people we were driving down trimmer creek road and i lived down at the end in a cul-de-sac
under the turnaround really because it was gravel and then bo was walking home because he'd always
get home at three o'clock when i got home so he could play with me and he was walking home up the hill and
she saw him I know she saw him because I saw him from like 50 yards away and she just she sped up
almost and then after she hit him she hit him right in the head and then she said whose dog was that
and I raised my hand she said well that's too bad let's sell these figurines Yeah All these big box of figurines Let's do that
Yeah
Brandon
Can I tell you something?
Yeah
I didn't actually buy the trophies
You didn't?
No
I was kidding
Oh I thought you bought the
Okay
I'm currently in negotiations
With the person who bought the trophies
To pay for $500
More than he bought the trophies
So I will own the trophies
Well that guy wants the trophies
$500 he made easily.
So my goal now is to own the trophies.
I wish I had thought of it earlier.
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to own these trophies.
This is a box that TB has brought of many trinkets.
This box in the raw might be worth more.
No, these are collectibles that already have a documented value,
unlike anything else we've sold. These could be worth more. No, these are collectibles that already have a documented value, unlike anything else we've sold.
These could be worth more than one.
There's also hot dog candy canes.
Caesar salad candy canes.
That's not going to sell.
Take to the figurines.
Show the tennis ball.
The tennis ball is not in there.
That's Gohan.
Okay, that's Gohan.
This is Osaka Tano.
I mean, there's like tons of stuff like that in this one.
This is a big ticket.
Storm from the X-Men.
Oh, shit.
X-Men.
Black Widow.
Mint chocolate.
At $4.30.
I mean, you guys could probably prepackage, repackage this, sell it online.
And make more.
Individually.
They're all still in the plastic.
So many.
I can't get the Jack Skellington. Oh, Mickey Mouse's Fantasia. $4. still in the plastic. So many. I can't get Jack Skellington.
Mickey Mouse was Fantasia.
490.
490.
Come on.
This was an F5, not a thunderstorm.
Mandalorian.
This is Ariel the Little Mermaid.
They got Osmosis Jones.
I haven't seen Osmosis Jones, but I do believe he's in here.
Goku.
Oh, Goku.
I thought it was Gohan.
You should have lived with Goku.
It's Ultra Instinct Goku.
Sold for $5,000. It's pretty good. It's should have lived with Goku. It's old. It's Ultra Instinct Goku. It's old for 510.
510.
It's old, it's old, it's old.
It's old.
Deal.
Hell yes.
Pull that one back.
What do you know about Goku?
Put it over there.
Dragon Ball Z.
Watch out on the painting, Brandon.
Break that painting.
You got to buy it yourself.
Yeah, Brandon, do the yak t-shirt that is now nowhere else you can buy it.
Oh, good call.
Actually, you know what?
Steven, go grab a mug off my PMT desk.
Yeah, yeah.
The Steins, which actually are now on sale in the Barstool Sports store.
But we'll throw that in too.
A little prize pack.
They're fucking awesome.
We have a few of these shirts if you want to do a few of these shirts.
Okay, what do you want to do?
Individual shirt auctions?
Okay.
So this is a size.
We're going to add a hold on.
We're going to hold on.
I wore mine all weekend.
Very soft.
Very comfy.
Look at this.
These are now in the Barstool Sports Store, so you can go buy them.
Let's auction one off.
I'll sign this one if the person wants one.
Oh, that's sweet.
Those are nice as fuck.
That's nice. Wait, let's sign it before we auction it. one. Oh, that's sweet. Those are nice as fuck. That's nice.
Wait, let's sign it before we auction it.
Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Do we have a pen?
Sign the bottom.
Sign the bottom.
We're selling both those together? Show those on the side.
Show the bottom. So there's the... That's a really nice one. The whole yak will sign it.
Added a sign. On the bottom.
There's the Pardon My Take boys, and then there's the
Pardon My Take logo on the back of that
one-on-one.
This might be the big one.
It's going to break the freaking bank.
Here's your Yak 500 show shirt
that you can't buy right now.
It's the shirt, and then we add a Stein.
We'll stuff the shirt down in the Stein.
It now hates a Jets quarterback
since we added that.
We need to get a pen that will stay then.
No, I think it will stay.
Sharpie?
Oh, yeah.
Is this the Wii menu music?
Sharpie Network.
Oh, nice.
All right, so there's the Stein, which is being passed around and signed right now,
along with this one of one.
Is this not for sale yet?
Am I just bullshit?
No, it's not for sale yet.
Okay.
Well, Yak is signing the Stein right now.
Signing it, then we're going to sell it. Passing it around.
We're at 4820.
We're almost halfway there.
Yeah.
I bought a Stein.
You want to take that box off of that painting?
It's pressing directly down.
Yes. Oh, with your government name. Wow.
Oh, you wrote Harry.
That was bold.
His last name. Government last name. My address on there, too.
Yeah, Sass' address, and I'll put Caleb's phone number.
Yeah.
Sign the sign.
Don't smudge it, either.
Blow on it. Don't fucking smudge it either. Blow on it.
Don't fucking smudge it, Brandon.
It's kind of difficult because you guys...
Why didn't somebody use the middle so we could have the edges?
Just shut up and sign.
Brandon, why don't you use the middle?
This is your day.
Or use the edge.
Maybe some sort of gloss we can put on that.
Some sort of cover.
Gloss. You tape over it. She sort of cover. If you tape over it.
Sheen.
Yeah.
I think it will stay.
Sheen.
If it doesn't, you know, send it back.
We'll re-sign it.
We'll cold cock you.
Also, if it doesn't, you'll just be like, this is where the signatures were.
Yeah.
It got smudged.
You can just show this video as proof that it was signed.
Yes.
Oops.
We probably won't pack it right anyway.
It'll break. Yeah. No, A't pack it right anyway. It'll break.
Yeah.
No, Ari is nice at packing.
Ari is?
Oh, yeah.
You the packer?
Like you.
Red Favre?
I like rounds more.
Yeah, he has what's better.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Should I have gone an older packer?
No, no.
Here it is. Every signature on the Packer? No. There it is.
Every signature on the bottom in a nice little circle pattern here.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, not every signature.
None of us wants to take center stage.
Humble.
All right.
Let me see that mug.
Stuff that shirt in there.
Keep in mind, you cannot get this shirt anywhere else.
This shirt that you cannot buy.
You can't buy the mug on the Barstool Sports Store.
It is a large size shirt.
You cannot buy this shirt in stores.
It's a large size.
I'm stuffing it down in, well, it's not going to stuff very well.
But here's the part of my take.
300.
What?
Signed right there.
Bam.
That's everybody.
370.
A little low.
You'll never drink alone again.
That's everybody right there.
Let's get those numbers up.
Big Cat, BFW, Kate.
Collector's item.
Did you spell that with a C, Kate?
I did.
It's the Ackway.
450, 490.
Come on.
Keep going.
You get the shirt, too.
Someone typed 550.
I don't know if they meant it.
It's an L-sized shirt.
Pid that.
It's a common size shirt that many people could wear.
Type 750.
I'd say most people in this room could wear a large shirt.
Yeah.
You can wear it down to a medium.
I can. Ladies, that's a nice pajama shirt or a nice over room could wear a large shirt. Yeah. You can wear it down to a medium. I can.
Ladies, that's a nice pajama shirt or a nice over-the-tights shirt.
$5.50.
$5.50.
People are being generous.
Guys, we signed this.
That's awesome.
Once again, there's it.
Sold.
Sold.
Sold.
$5.50.
All right.
$5.50.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
Very nice.
Not Stein side down. You went Stein side down.
You went signature down?
Stein side down.
It has a ridge to where the signal is.
Oh, okay.
So it's protected.
Yeah.
And I'm passing around the anus tennis ball for everybody to sign.
Leave a spot for Venus.
It's the caveat.
If you bump into Venus Williams while you're carrying this and she signs it, you have to send it back.
You have to carry it.
Yeah.
Okay. I'm going to toss it across the You have to carry it. Yeah. Okay.
I'm going to toss it across the room.
Okay.
Pen first.
Pen first.
He dropped it.
And he also dropped the ball.
Oh.
Both of them.
Either of them hit the ground.
And this ball is hard to sign.
It really is.
Fabric marker.
A lot of fuzz on there.
A lot of fuzz on there.
That's why tennis players sign rackets on the strings.
It sounds a lot harder to sign. I have a small little pen. Yeah, let me remember. That's why tennis players sign rackets on the strings. Do they actually?
It's a lot harder to sign.
I have a small little pen.
Yeah, let me get my string pen.
Who's this nice-looking Italian in the...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I made eye contact.
He's right into my soul.
He's obviously a lawyer.
That's someone with a real job.
Maybe.
So you put on a suit and you immediately have meetings with Italians?
I guess so.
That's a real job guy.
Talk to me about my business.
Let's just keep the lights on.
This does sound like the Wii music kind of.
It is.
It is the Wii music.
Yeah.
Oh.
But it wasn't earlier?
No, it was. Always has been Wii music? Yeah. Oh. But it wasn't earlier? No, it was.
Always has been.
Very pleasant.
I love buying stuff.
I like the noise they would make when you make them walk and jump and drop them.
People still Wii.
I don't think people Wii anymore.
I don't think they Wii as much.
But you can use a Mii on the Switch.
You can do some things.
Nintendo.
Huh? Because it some things. Nintendo.
Because it's Nintendo.
The Switch is a terrific console. You guys have a Switch?
Yeah, I got one. I got a Switch Lite.
Which is awesome. I don't use mine
though. I have two Switches and a Switch Lite.
It's nice to have a portable
Stardew Valley.
Brandon, why don't you sell
something? Yeah, please do.
Oh, Grant Cardone, number 10.
You've made the goddamn...
It depends.
We're all signing that too?
We're signing a lot of things.
We should have just signed everything if it's going to bring the value.
I mean, that big cat, come on.
I think it's hurting the value.
It's hurting the value.
That's my signature.
That looks like a big rat.
Alright. It's hurting the value. It's hurting the value. That's my signature. That looks like a big rat. All right.
Where are you going to sign it, Brandon?
It doesn't say fucking baby.
It says fuck no baby.
That's the tagline of anus.
Fucking baby.
Thanks for listening to the show.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
You've been on twice.
I have.
That doesn't say fuck no baby.
It says fuck N-D baby.
No, probably N-O.
It's fucking a baby.
What the hell?
What did I just buy?
What the hell is that tennis ball?
You signed it yet?
Yes.
All right, here is the anus.
Is this one of one as well?
One of two.
This is a display.
You can display this.
You're keeping the other one?
Yeah. Is the case broken? No, it's open jesus all right oh my god get it together brand
that's his fault saving your people somebody had to catch the uh okay so here you go it's it's in
a case that we'll put together soon put it on it's autographed. The anus one of two ball, tennis ball
that was made to be signed by Venus
Williams. That's right. And if you ever see her, you
have to get it signed by Venus Williams and send it back
to Nick. Yes. But if you don't see her,
this is yours to keep. Forever.
There you go. An anus tennis ball. Where's
the anus branding on it? It says fuck no
baby. That's okay.
Jesus Christ.
Fuck no baby right there.
Right there is where it says it.
Fuck no baby.
Okay, $25.
There it goes.
There it goes.
Oh, man.
There we go. $405.
Fair enough. $600.
How is this perplexing you so badly? Because it doesn't encase it. There we go. $405,000. $600,000.
How is this perplexing you so badly?
Because it doesn't encase it.
Do it.
$841,000.
Show me, Brandon.
Yes.
There you go.
$841,000.
You're shocking me today.
$841,000 sold. Oh!
Wow.
Add it together.
Amazing.
How much did we sell this for? $841,000. Wow. Add it together. Amazing. How much did we sell this for?
$841.
You're good on the $5,000?
Yeah, you just got to send me the details.
What about Pete getting wet?
I mean, he doesn't hate the people of Mississippi.
He's a piece of shit.
I will donate it.
Alright, so he's...
Oh, wow.
Good God.
This is a little bit too much for the sitting. Oh, wow. Good God. What's that?
This is a little bit too much for the people.
Oh, my God.
I forgot about these, to be honest.
Another shirt here.
Where's the cap to this?
I don't know, but are we going to sign this jersey right here?
Are we signing it?
I totally forgot about these.
Oh, my God.
Oh, those are the Dick's?
Yes, yes.
Okay.
All right, we're signing.
Somebody describe this jersey for me.
TJ, what was this?
That was my jersey from the World Cup challenge that we did.
And you won't give this away?
Yeah, it's for charity, brother.
Okay, all right.
It's a one-of-one Grant Cardone Germany jersey.
We're signing this as well?
Yeah, signed by the...
Jesus.
Brandon took top real estate there.
Oh my god. Read what it says.
I see that.
I think he did. Did you do that one?
No, I did Kate. Okay. There's so much
paint. Some of these are quite literally
I don't know what paint we used that day
but I still can't get it off my jeans.
Yeah, this is really
Oh, you seem bored.
Wow, these are. No, we're making money.
Helping a cause.
The German soccer shirt's sick.
These are intense.
Amory, Mississippi, by the way, is in Monroe County.
It got hit. Two people died there.
A father and a two-year-old child.
Amory, the hometown of
former American Idol winner
Trent something.
Trent something. Oh.
Trent something.
Yeah.
Dilfer?
No, he was the last American Idol winner
in the original American Idol run.
And then Mitch Moreland of the Boston Red Sox,
Texas Rangers, and several other teams,
also from Amory.
Okay.
How big of a town is it?
I think Sam Haskell of TV fame might also be.
It's about 4,000 people.
What?
That many stars?
Yeah.
Oh, Trent Harmon.
Trent Harmon, yes.
American Idol winner, Trent Harmon.
How many American Idol winners can you name, Brandon?
Four.
Do it.
Now.
If you say second place, I get to pinch your nipple.
Ruben Studdard.
First.
Sorry for 2004.
Kelly Clarkson.
Yes.
She beat Justin Guarini.
Yes.
Because now, what's Justin Guarini doing?
Mr. Sweet.
That's him?
Yeah.
Little Sweet, not Mr. Sweet.
No way.
Jennifer Hudson win it?
Oh, I don't fucking know.
Fantasia.
Fantasia Marino didn't win it, did she?
She likes to shave your head.
Yeah, she won it.
Huh?
For the people?
There's got to be a price.
It would ruin my life.
I will say this.
I've seen you in a hat.
There's something with the shape of your head that he needs what he's got.
I need what I got desperately. I don't know how to say that nicely.
It's troubling.
No, you're right.
In the barstool you had a buzz.
And it was bad.
It was bad.
It was bad.
Something about the shape of your head.
Tornadoes.
Tornadoes are also bad.
Tornadoes is bad.
Startling.
We'll get Big Cat to sign this as well if he hasn't yet.
Where did Sass go?
In New Jersey.
Oh, he's tired of this.
He's just done.
We lost the cap to the marker, so be careful.
I'm hungry, too.
We should do another Lunch of Fate.
That was the worst.
It was the worst.
Why?
We should do it again.
I was so sick last night.
Were you?
Yeah.
What did you eat?
A bunch of donuts, and then I had to go out to my parents.
My mom's in town.
We went out to dinner and I chose a British restaurant. You chose
one? You have British restaurants?
What'd you have? I had the
fucking
black pudding.
A lot of beans. A lot of beans in British
cooking.
Interesting. I went to
a British brewery here.
The beer was room temperature.
It's all like warm beer.
All right.
Maybe auction off a finger blast.
Finger blast the winner.
Said you're the best.
Fastest in the East.
I never said I was the best.
I said that's uncool.
Percentage-wise, I'm good.
Are you top 5% blaster?
I'm a lousy blaster.
I'm a good rubber.
Okay.
Which is really all you.
It's true.
People think it's all about the blasting, but it's not.
I rarely blast.
Blasting doesn't do what you think it does.
Blast doesn't do what you think it does?
No, no.
That's uncomfortable as hell.
Right.
What?
Finger blasting.
Finger blasting.
About power blaster?
Yeah, so am I.
See, guys think they're a power blaster, and they may be.
I know I am.
Oh, I'm a power blaster.
It's not what you think.
And no one likes that.
Why don't y'all just say
no blasting?
No blasting.
Then you guys get
bummed out.
I'll be like,
what the fuck do you mean
no blasting?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You're supposed to what?
Sign language your name
down there?
I don't know.
I always sign language
your name.
Sign language my boy's name.
All right.
All right, I got to sell something.
Here.
Here's a stack of paintings.
Okay.
So these are, we sell the whole stack together?
I think sell the whole stack together.
This is something that going down the stairs, like family photos, you could.
So what was this special day?
It was just painting day or something?
Yeah.
We got together and painted each other.
This was mine of Big Cat.
Kyle, the angle you chose for yours was so, so bizarre.
Abstract.
These are the dick paintings that we did of each other.
We went out in the hall and did.
There are two, four, six, eight.
So this is somebody drew Kate.
Nick drew Kate.
That was me, yeah.
Little Ottoman.
I don't know who did this one of Stephen Che.
That does appear to be Stephen Che.
We have
this one.
That's Roan.
It's a little fillies hat gives it away.
And a bush.
You wouldn't think it with Roan.
This one was somebody drawing me, I believe.
Is that mine?
A little racist.
I don't know.
Did you draw me?
I think.
Huh?
This was yours, Kate.
We're live.
Yeah, the never ending.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
That's Nick's never ending penis.
Penis maze.
It does have the really red tip.
And this one was.
Oh, no, that was you, Brandon.
That's me?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That one was a little bit of a disaster. I don one was... Oh, no, that was you, Brandon. That's me? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That one was a little bit
of a disaster.
I was going with that.
So you get the eight
dick paintings
that we did of each other
on one special occasion
of the Yak.
It was a Friday.
That's all I remember about it.
Okay, 221.
It's erotic.
It's artsy.
There's actual
fellatio.
You put them down
your whole hallway
and it's like a journey
that you go on.
251.
This is probably the centerpiece.
Nick and his never-ending penis.
Brandon, is that the only time you've ever painted that house on canvas?
It is the only time I've painted a house.
It's a one-of-one.
Yes, it is.
All of these are one-of-one.
Yes, mine is the yak house.
It's just with a dick sticking out the front door.
It's upside down there, but it's okay.
One of these ladies just looked at me holding up pictures of dicks.
301. They're disgusted.
Chased women.
It's the only time we've all done
original art together.
Yours does look pretty good. I like the
natural white border you have around it.
The direction of your brush strokes is very
uniform and calm in 341.
So this is
eight dicks. This isn't one.
You're getting all eight.
All eight.
All eight.
We are offloading our junk.
We're selling you our stuff right now.
I don't even think Kate's has dried yet.
No, no.
There's a lot of cum on that.
Is this glue or just globs of paint?
Or is this actual cum?
It's actual.
This is Nick's semen.
Yes.
Okay. So have we sold it yet? No, no. This is Nick's semen. Yes. Okay.
So we still, have we sold it yet?
No, no, it's still good.
Go on, go, go.
Go for the 41.
Someone say that.
We have 461.
Tornado of penis.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of good original drawings.
Come on.
461.
We have 481.
Does someone have 481 for us?
Or maybe just like 462
oh there we go
yeah
so maybe 501
would be nice
we could get 501
for these
maybe just do
4000
and we can just
end this completely
yeah
401 would be like
jeans
there it is
sold
thank you
thank you
signed
Germany
Yak
Jersey
Ardone
Ardone.
Ardone, number 10.
TJ's World Cup jersey signed by all members of the Yak.
We will get Big Cat to sign it in a minute.
There you go.
It's right in front of me.
BFW, Kate,
whoever signed it over here.
It says Lil Harry Sass.
Does it?
I didn't sign that.
It does say that.
It's your signature.
What are you talking about?
Who the fuck forged my signature?
A KB Forge is worth a lot.
That is true.
Yeah.
It's actually worth more than my signature alone.
Probably double.
Yeah, and I signed it.
Yeah.
So there you go.
Grant Cardone or Cardone on the back.
Could be anybody, really.
And we could rub those off if you feel like it would be more valuable
if they didn't have the...
Right, right.
Who do we think we are?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
We could easily rub those off.
But there it goes.
We're in almost...
It's going to get in triple digits.
We'll get Big Cat to sign that, too, right?
200.
Wow, jumped to 200.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
Good.
Thank you, Jenks.
Everybody knows Grant Cardone.
Jinx is coming out with a lot of money today.
230. Big Cat
will sign it. Did we say that yet? Yes.
Big Cat will sign it.
What? The insole?
Oh, yes. I'm sorry. I was talking to Saz. I was looking
at Saz's insole. He's holding up
a foot. If you don't pay more money for
this. Wait, is that Rudy?
No, that's Rudy.
That's Rudy.
Rudy Shonda? That's Nicky.
That's Nicky.
Is that this for the German friend in your life?
That's that crazy motherfucker, Nicky.
Do we have any other big ticket items?
Oh, we could sell KB's piece.
That is a big ticket.
Tommy Hilfiger piece.
This will piss me off.
Yeah, this right here.
I'm just using it to keep.
Cost me about $10,000.
Using it to keep myself warm.
I'll.
Thank you to whoever bought that.
Oh, and Steady.
Here comes John Rich.
Oh, yeah.
There goes John Rich.
There he goes.
Head down, working.
I like him.
Me too.
Is it sold?
It's a good guy.
That one's not.
$310.
Hell yeah.
However much it's sold, that's how much we're going to take.
What can we lump in together?
Kate?
I want to do the slice or the corner.
Oh, yeah, the wheel slice.
How do we sell the wheel slice?
It's not an ad.
You can put a message.
You can put text.
We're doing two different things.
Since it's temporary, you get the jacket with it.
No, I think it should be a slice and four corners in the jacket.
I think that those are all big ticket items.
Yeah, I think those should be, but we should hurry up.
Three different things.
So that would be our last three.
We're going to sell a slice of the wheel.
Good to see you guys.
We're going to sell a slice of the wheel that you can put anything on.
Right?
Yeah.
We're going to sell four corners of the screen for your message.
Correct?
Correct.
Are we selling four corners or four different sales?
Yes.
Or just maybe two corners, top two corners,
since we already have a banner out on the bottom.
Okay, top two corners, two sales.
So two sales, a slice, and a piece.
Yeah.
So four more.
All right, this sale right here, how do I set it up?
Left corner.
This is the wheel slice.
A wheel slice, okay.
So you get a slice of our wheel.
You get to name it, and it stays up there for what?
One month?
Until it hits.
Until it hits?
Okay.
So it stays up there.
Okay.
So you get a slice of the wheel.
This is priceless.
I don't know why we're doing this.
You can put your full name on there.
You can do whatever.
Do whatever you want.
It's your slice of the wheel.
We are selling a slice of the wheel starting whenever Aria says we're live.
Subject to our approval.
Right.
Subject to our approval, yes.
We will not kill one of the members of the Yak.
Right.
Unless it's someone we all agree that can take a...
Wheel slice is live.
So we're at 581.
581.
This is a big ticket item, folks.
This is the wheel.
This is...
Yeah.
We do the wheel every goddamn day.
681. 681.
701.
721.
If there's anything you wanted to see us do,
it could be a slice where we all just call you
one day and chat.
Or we take you to dinner.
That could be a 721.
Oh my god. 721. Somebody just bought the
wheel for us. Hell yeah. That's a great price.
Advertisers must be pissed.
Well, it is what it is.
It is what it is.
It's for good cause.
We could have just bought it on whatnot for $700.
Oh, no.
No, it's no advertisements, though.
No, no.
We're not going to give this to a petty advertiser.
Hell no.
It's going to make us suck each other off or something.
All right.
Can we do this?
I have no idea
I don't like being on camera for this
We'll work with the person
We can deny it
The wheel slice yes but I'm talking about the corners
It's not no companies
It's personal messages
We're good Stephen Shea
It could be your Venmo
It's like a banner.
It could be just a picture of you.
Girlfriend.
An inside joke with your buddies.
It could be a Brandon Walker cum tribute.
Yes.
Right.
Yep.
Yep.
It's subject to our approval.
Thumbs up from you, Stephen Shea?
Yeah.
I mean, we can approve it, so we'll have to see what the message is.
But yeah, as long as it's not like a direct advertisement.
All right.
We're going to sell the top left corner of tomorrow's show.
Or is it tomorrow's show or what? Yeah. How does this work the top left corner of tomorrow's show. Is it tomorrow's show or what?
Yeah.
How does this work?
Top left corner of tomorrow's show.
Big Cat will be at the show.
Yes.
This is, I mean, you know.
This is the big one.
A lot of eyes.
There's more.
All right, you can put that live.
Oh, it is live.
So top left corner of tomorrow's show.
Be a picture, a message.
Propose to someone.
Face.
Be your ass crack. Yeah, it could just. A face. It could be your ass crack.
Yeah, it could just be your face.
That would be cute.
Cute?
We're not going for cute.
We're going for world-changing here.
Wow, this is selling for less than that soccer jersey.
Yeah, this is not.
This is.
People don't like this.
I think the boys are out of money.
I thought people liked this.
$275.
A square of our screen for $275?
We still have three more.
All right. Just one more. That We still have three more. All right.
Just one more.
That's rough.
Top right's the money corner.
Yeah, that's the money corner.
I never look at the top.
You're 75.
I'm looking at the top right.
I could have gone out Seventh Avenue right now and sold it for more than that.
Do it.
Fuck.
Okay.
All right.
The boys are out of money.
Upright Corner.
You can have it for tomorrow's show.
Thanks.
It's tapped.
Taking out loans.
Upright Corner is yours if you just bid on it right now.
We're almost there, though.
We want a $10,000.
And last thing is the piece, which, I mean, everybody's saving up for the piece.
Obviously, that'll go for $2,000.
At least.
All right.
Here we go. Live. Are we live? No. Yes, we will be shortly $2,000. At least. Alright, here we go.
Live. Are we live? No. Yes.
We will be shortly.
Top right corner. Top right corner. We're live.
Top right corner of tomorrow's
Yak. You get to send any message
you want.
You could quit your job using the corner
of the Yak. You could potentially get
a job here. Who knows?
Are you giving away a job?
I'm not. And you're hiring?
I don't have the authority to do any of this.
We could do it out of pocket, same way Bennett does with her cameraman.
Yeah.
Little mini Brandon.
Has anybody seen him since that day?
Yes. He's just very, very good.
You can't...
I haven't seen him.
He's stealthful.
Do it out of pocket, Brandon. Hire somebody.
I can hire somebody.
Somebody follows Ben Mets around.
You don't have the pockets for it.
Diving in those pockets.
Put your Venmo up there.
It would pay for itself.
Can we get 361?
Come on.
Can we get 381?
Come on.
Yeah.
Putting your Venmo.
$2,000.
Jeez.
All right. Looks like it's. 38,000. Jeez. All right.
Looks like it's...
$381.
$381.
$381 sold.
All right.
That's a good price.
$381.
I'm excited to see
what people put.
It's going to be nasty.
Yeah.
And finally...
I thought those
were going to be the big boys.
The main event.
Well, that's the main event.
Here we go. Just because Kate's been cold.
This cost Nick $10,000.
Yeah.
This is KB's.
Well, it's more mine.
KB only had it for one day.
This used to be KB's Tommy Hilfiger jacket.
Peace.
It's his piece.
And this is.
It's a big bargaining chip in Barstool vs. America.
Season 2. Season 2.
Okay, 381 already. Yeah, that's
KB's piece. Oh no, that's the last one.
Oh shit.
Oh fuck.
And it's comfortable, it's nice.
Yeah, you can wear it. It's sized...
XL? 2XL.
Very nice. But that's the thing,
it warms everyone. It's's the thing. It's everybody.
It's like the mask.
I was very toasty.
Velcro.
I love when the dog put on the mask at the end.
It is purple and green.
Monster trucks, Hulk.
Barney.
Show the collar.
Can you show the collar?
I will show the collar.
Windproof.
Inside that yellow really makes it pop. And then you put it on.
You get a lot of compliments.
You know, Tommy Hilfiger stopped manufacturing this piece.
Yeah, a long time ago.
I can't describe the material other than I like it.
It's kind of slick.
It's like what a race car driver would wear.
Good pockets.
And this is like a kiss corn except for you get to fuck KB and Nick when you see them.
Where are we at?
$490. How much did you pay for them? This is less than kiss coin except for you get to fuck KB and Nick when you see them. Where are we at? $490.
How much did you pay for them?
This is less than Kyle paid for.
They're getting them on a thrift deal right now.
And you loved this piece.
You would have never put this up for us.
We're at $530.
Can we get $550?
Where's $550?
Where's $550?
There's $550.
Thank you.
$570 though.
Can we get at least...
KB's piece.
KB's piece. We're going to need it. Wait a minute. There's 550. Thank you. 570, though. Can we get at least... KB's piece. KB's piece.
We're going to need a piece.
Oh, no. Wait a minute.
There's 570.
This is my piece.
Nick's piece. Wow.
Can we get 590 for Nick's piece?
Imagine seeing Nick on the street while you're wearing his piece
and then getting to fuck him face-to-face.
Oh, not face-to-face.
Well, the...
Come on, for Mississippi.
The fucking? All right, 590. As soon as you said not face-to-face. Oh, shit. Thank you, for Mississippi. The fucking?
Alright, $5.90. As soon as you said not face-to-face.
Oh, shit. Thank you, thank you.
Grind it to a halt.
There we go. So, we're over $9,000
now, right? Or we're right at it?
We need to sell us two more big ones.
We're out.
That's everything.
We got more.
I don't have a...
We're on about that personally for me.
I think the pins could go for $1,000.
I forgot about the pins.
I forgot about the pins.
All right, how about the shot?
These are going to go for like $20,000.
What about the shot bobbleheads?
What's that helmet?
Is that Notre Dame or Georgia Tech?
That's a signed Notre Dame helmet.
Where?
Okay, let's do that.
But it's signed by option enthusiast Paul Johnson.
Okay, perfect.
That was sent to me by... Do we have that Carl Malone
jersey? I'm going to do has that.
What's the helmet and the
crevasse behind it? BT?
That's... I don't know what that is.
How about the globe or that
big brain that's always out there? I don't have
Katie Statz permission to sell any of the stuff that
she gathered for the... Can we sell that big golf ball out there. I don't have Katie Statz permission to sell any of the stuff that she gathered for the.
Can we sell that big golf ball out there?
Probably not.
I mean, Riggs isn't here anymore.
How much would it be to ship?
Would it be worth the.
Oh, I think Ken Jack's ready to do the bracket.
I don't think anyone would even notice it was gone.
I think we got nine grand and Big Cat's going to put us over ten.
I think we got the goal. I think we got the goal. I think we got nine grand, and Big Cat's going to put us over ten. I think we got the goal.
I think we got the goal.
I think we're good.
Yeah, we – There's a GameCube?
Yeah.
We've had that GameCube in here for two years now.
It's for gaming day.
Oh, I want to play GameCube.
You can have the GameCube.
No.
I think we got $9,000, and Big Cat's going to send us over.
I can't believe you want to stop raising money for Mrs. Fass.
I don't want to stop, but I—
I'm good with stopping.
I don't want—
We've still got gas in the tank.
I don't want to—
That could go hours.
Ken Jack has this room booked for $230, and I don't want to go into his show.
Also, we've got to spin our reel, Will.
Oh, fuck.
Right?
Did we spin it?
No, let's spin that.
Spin that, and then we'll see where our mood's at.
It's going to land on...
Oh, my God.
No, no, no.
This is not real.
This is so fucked.
Where's Big Cat?
Technically, they deserve it.
And we had Pete.
Fans deserve it after they just gave us $9,000.
Yeah, appreciate that. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do the classic wet gave us $9,000. Yeah, appreciate that.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do the classic wet.
Let's get it out.
Oh, no, no.
Classic wet?
What the fuck are you talking about?
One person.
Oh, I thought you meant, okay, that's classic wet.
I don't know if it is.
Scared me.
Everybody's got to go on the wheel.
Yeah, but I've been, I jinxed myself.
Whenever they put out the graphic, I've been on the longest dry streak.
All right, let's go.
Not talking about pussy.
Of course not.
Zoom in on my fingers.
That's a juice.
You can smell it through the camera.
You see the glisten?
It's like Mike TV.
The old wet wheel.
And, of course, Big Cat and Peter on this.
Yes.
Should Pete be on it, or he's obviously not going to do it? Well, Big Cat and Peter on this. Yes. Yeah.
Should Pete be on it, or he's obviously not going to do it?
Well, Hank walked in the studio today.
True.
And PFT did.
And Liam did.
And Yakstats said that it counted as an appearance for Hank and PFT.
I think Aria's on there.
Aria's on.
Aria, you're on the wet wheel.
Okay.
Say bye. Oh, thanks, everybody. I think Aria's on there. Aria's on. Aria, you're on the right wheel. You are now.
Say bye.
Oh, thanks to everybody at Whatnot, right?
Thank you for helping us. Thank you to everyone who donated.
$9,000 is not a small amount of money, so thank you.
Friend in need is...
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Friend in need.
Always amazing.
We need to get more people to sit in here so we can up our odds.
I'm fine getting wet.
Me too.
You embrace the wet today?
Today of all days.
Fans deserve it today.
Suck it up.
Yeah, they do.
I kind of think this is Pete's fault because when he didn't agree to...
This is a big wheel.
We're good.
When he didn't agree to get wet, he pissed off the wheel.
We're not all good. Someone's getting wet. I is a big wheel. We're good. When he didn't agree to get wet, he pissed off the wheel. Oh, we're not all good.
Someone's getting wet.
I'm poor, motherfucker. Statistically, though, it is
way against the odds that it keeps landing on wet,
right? No. That's not...
Like, the next spin in roulette isn't determined
by the last spin in roulette. Yeah, that's true.
What is it?
Seems like a lot. Damn.
I never thought of that.
I gotta take that to some place I think it kinda is though
With like the Monty Hall
Paradox
Holy fuck
Alright let's go
The fact that wet stays on the wheel
Probably not gonna be
Fucking big cat
But I did raise a lot of money
Today for my home state
I just don't
Cat gave 5,000 though So you know why he's off first.
Hasn't given anything yet.
He bought the trophies.
Yes.
All right.
That'd be Kate.
Three.
Getting off early just means that you're not for the cause.
Yeah.
I'm not committed.
Rone.
Time not for the cause, as I said. I'm not committed. Rone.
Time not for the cause, as I said.
I got wet last time.
Do it for the sip.
Come on now, Brandon.
Do it for the fucking shit.
Your fans, they just give you the ball.
Oh.
Yeah.
Come on.
Both off the hook early this time.
Oh.
EFT.
It's just good karma.
Should we start texting Hank and Pete Start coming this way
Not yet
Do you think Hank would actually do it
Uh oh Kyle
My numbers are crazy
No way
Statistically
Jesus It just doesn't seem normal No way. There we go. Jesus.
It just doesn't seem normal.
There ain't no way, buddy.
No, not a chance.
Buddy.
Buddy.
You're bad at this.
You're going so fast.
Off the hook.
Oh, you're perfectly fine, man.
I know. I'm not getting this. All right, there we hook. Oh, you're perfectly fine, man. I know.
I'm not getting this.
All right, there we go.
You're good.
Not a chance.
There we go, baby.
This might be the most just thing in the world.
Look, Hank and ABP on it.
The people who can just say no.
And will. Oh, take say no. And will.
Oh, take Hank off.
Take Hank.
Oh.
Will it be Che or Hank?
Why are these the colors?
Somebody want to text Hank?
There's Pete lurking.
You're safe.
That's one for Che.
All right.
Oh, the way Pete was smiling.
No, I didn't like that either.
One for Hank.
Hey.
Okay, any words to appease the wheel?
The wheel's just.
If I have to get wet, I'll get wet. You're right. Those colors are terrible. Okay, any words to appease the wheel? The wheel's just.
If I have to get wet, I'll get wet.
You're right, those colors are terrible. Two for Che.
Wow, way to be, Che.
Is this the Pokemon ball colors?
No.
Three for Che.
Should we get Hank in here?
Yeah, we should.
I feel like we should.
All right, pause this.
Pause the wheel.
Where's he at?
He's probably in the meeting that Big Cat is at.
Oh, definitely.
Isn't Hank in like a tuxedo or something like that?
He was.
I thought he changed.
Okay.
He's changed a lot.
How did he get on this wheel?
He walked in.
He walked into the show.
Oh, shit.
What is that?
Oh.
Hey, it's Henry.
How was your call?
Banged on me.
Banged.
Oh, he's calling me back.
I did it.
Banged on your ass.
How awesome is it that it was none of us
that would have been
fully down to do it
banged on me again
he's
wow he double banged
he called me back
he said five
he keeps saying five minutes
do we wait five minutes
or does he just
we tell him in five minutes
he has to get wet
gotta wait five minutes
to spin it again yeah we minutes. To spin it again?
Yeah, we can, let's spin it.
Yeah.
Let's spin it.
He finds out.
He's not going to believe it, though.
There's proof.
Yeah, we can show the proof.
This is recorded.
All right.
Buddy.
He's going to get wet. He won't. And you know what the sad part about it is?
I bet he would have before he got that big suit job Yeah
I was listening to Freakonomics this morning
About how people who become bosses
They were like like you raise
to your highest level of
incompetency like you get promoted
until you're not incompetent and you
get promoted and then you get to a point where
you're incompetent at your
current job and you can't get promoted anymore
and I couldn't stop thinking
about Hank
like how you
people who become talking about how people who become bosses don't thinking about Hank. Yeah. Like how you,
people who become,
talking about how people who become bosses
don't deserve it.
How like,
just because you can do your job
doesn't mean that you're fit
to manage people.
It's like a completely
different discipline.
Every tenet of what
we're talking about applies.
I'm kidding.
Is this analyzing certain bosses or this this is a phenomenon across the board?
Why are there so many bad bosses was kind of the name of the episode,
and it kind of illustrated why people become bosses,
like how they'll desire to validate themselves
or gain power or voice within their structure.
But sometimes it's just because they're trying to—
Were there any outlier examples of great bosses?
Yeah, they talked about Dave a little bit.
They're like, yeah, Prez is the fucking goat.
No, there were some...
I'm trying to think if they...
So goated.
I have to do an assignment.
Oh, yeah, we have to do the...
Yeah.
Four more minutes, I guess?
Yeah, I don't...
We waiting on him? I don't know.
We're waiting on him.
We don't know if he's coming.
Some companies like Google and Yahoo have a rigorous grading method on their bosses, so they wind up with better bosses.
But also they're worried that as an economist,
they said that the data of personal personal opinion is like the worst data.
So if you're like polling on is my boss good or bad,
it's maybe more based on like, oh, if I'm doing well,
then I think my boss is good.
Or if I'm in a rough spot, I'll blame them.
Like I'm not going to give them a chance.
So the data is skewed.
Fascinating stuff.
Really me just killing time until Hank calls me back.
Does someone want to take one for the team?
No.
No, God no.
Absolutely not.
Brandon?
Definitely not.
No better way to say thank you to the 9,000.
I think you're thumbing your eye at the wheel if you get wet when it's not your day.
That's not what I'm going to do.
I respect the wheel.
No.
You don't respect the wheel.
I do respect the wheel.
Then why are you just – The wheel didn't choose you.
Didn't choose me.
Did it?
Are you giving me a sign, Stephen Che?
Or are you just stretching?
Stretching, but we also got to close out.
Well, we got this...
I mean, what are you going to spit?
I mean, it's you or Hank.
So you could take it.
Yeah, you were a finalist.
What are we waiting for?
Are we waiting for Hank's meeting to end?
Yes.
He said five minutes.
He's a liar.
He's coming down to get wet?
He doesn't know that.
He doesn't know yet.
He doesn't know that yet.
That was four minutes ago.
I guess we could lead off the show tomorrow with him getting wet.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll lead off with Hank wet tomorrow.
All right, let's do that.
Well, what if he's not here tomorrow?
We'll lead off the next day he's here with him getting wet.
You just want to spit in the face of the wheel now.
I don't know what to do.
Stuff like this used to be important to me.
Kenchak will beat the shit out of me.
Stuff like this used to be important until you realize you're going to become a parent.
And then things like this just go down the drain.
Congratulations, by the way, Nick.
Yeah, thanks.
I should be hearing back from Hank any second now.
$9,000 is good.
Yes.
I appreciate everybody.
It's a very emotional thank you.
Yeah, thanks.
I don't...
$1,000 is good money.
I don't do emotion very well.
If you did your shoes and your socks...
I have a request for the people who are buying this stuff.
Like, I want to see where you hang the eight dick photos.
I would like to see where Sass winds up and his nipples.
Like, I want to see what happens, what becomes of all these pieces.
Excited to see what the ads are tomorrow.
Well, not the ads, but the space on TV.
Yeah, what the spaces are.
What our wheel slice is.
His ass fucking quits.
Man.
I can't physically hang on anymore.
I have to go do a show.
What show?
Unnecessary Roughness.
But that doesn't come out until tomorrow.
80 Stats is lurking.
Oh, boy.
It doesn't come out until tomorrow.
Jack's still behind us?
He's lurking.
You're going to let a woman pressure you?
I mean, Hank said that he'd call back.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know what you want to do, bro.
We got a lot of lurkers now.
We're amassing a squad of lurkers.
And Big Cat's not here, so it's like we're kind of...
And I usually eat before the bracket.
Now I just can't.
I haven't eaten yet today.
I'm hungry.
This is on Hank.
Fucking Hank, bro.
Yeah, this is Hank.
Bad boss.
You can prove he's a good boss.
Jake had ended it.
He was a finalist.
My work is done.
We do have to take the bracket, though, because I have to leave in an hour and a half.
Wait, the mid-show's already live?
The mid-show already went live?
We're bleeding into the mid-show now?
Oh, the mid-show went live over us?
Wait, so is Chicago, New York,
is their content just going to come out
while the New York content's coming out?
Completely different content.
Yeah.
We're not allowed to joke.
Dude, this guy fucking Hank, bro.
I gotta go.
Jack's now lurking. I got both
my people lurking on me. Yeah, let's go.
Should we just have Hank do it tomorrow?
Next time we see Hank, we'll do it.
If we get him, we'll tweet it from the Yak account.
Why are you hanging on to this?
I just want to do what's right for the wheel.
You don't want to be the one
to win on the wheel.
I am ending the show.
The show is over. It's all on Brandon.
It's on you, bro. Okay, it's all on Brandon.
Thank you to everyone who donated.
You're amazing.
It's the act. It's the act. We'll see you next time. Bye.