The Yak - Wet Your Wheels, The Boys Are LIVE From LOS ANGELES | The Yak 2-7-22
Episode Date: February 8, 2022Were gonna need you to go again, BrandonYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/b...arstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's a yak.
It's a yak.
Get a giant and talk shop.
We're doing a Yankee job.
It's a yak.
There's at least a dozen people who are waiting to come in.
That guy's head.
Can we not use that other camera angle anymore?
Because that just showed up.
I think I saw an actual tumbleweed roll through.
Yeah, you know, we left these open in front because there's so many people here.
We were worried that they would attack us. There is a line outside of people trying to get in.
They just won't let them in.
It's still a small line.
This is surreal.
It's eight to 12 people, isn't it? The two people in. It's still a small line. It's a small line.
The two people in the crowd are Billy and Jake Marsh.
Hey, guys.
We're here. Live. Super Bowl week.
What's up, boys?
Spark up, Owen. We're outside.
I had a lingerie.
Clap it up. Smoke them if you got them.
We got a great Super Bowl week planned.
What do we want to start with first?
We have so much shit.
I think we should update on where everybody's at with their shit.
I think that's the best way to start.
Let's just go around. Seth, how are you feeling?
Good. I mean, the rollerblading today
was a lot harder than I expected it to be.
You did two hours?
Yeah, pretty much.
The cheating begins.
You said you were going to roller the blade back from the store.
It was all uphill.
No, you can't.
There's nowhere to go here.
You got to go downhill, and then you basically climb your way back up.
Yeah, that's terrible.
It sucked, and my legs were so sore instantly.
And how many saves?
I think I've had five.
You can check.
You can count. I think Owen's at... I think I've had five. You can check. You can count.
I think Owen's had like 20.
I'm trying to get through on Monday, Tuesday.
Owen lost a tooth at lunch.
What?
It just fell right out.
Corroded.
That feels like an ominous sign.
Isn't that like when you're...
No, when you have a dream and you lose your teeth,
that means you have a small dick.
But in real life.
No, no, no, no, no.
In real life, it's good to just lose teeth.
Ah, yes.
Okay.
Until your body gets rid of old teeth.
All right, so, Sash, you're doing okay?
Yeah.
Not dead yet?
I'm at six.
I mean, I don't have a whole lot.
Six?
I am wearing these.
Yeah.
I've been wearing these all day.
I've worn them for multiple outfit changes.
They're fine.
You guys carried me to the stage.
That sucked.
You are so heavy.
It was one of the worst experiences of your life, and you've got to do it nine more times.
It was essentially spinal tap.
Oh, the people are coming in.
All right.
It was essentially spinal tap.
Fill in the middle.
It's a cheer for us.
Fill in the middle.
Also, the heads up, one of you. It's cheap for us. Fill in the middle. Also, heads up.
Two hours for Bryce Hall.
The driest person here is going on the wet wheel with the rest of us.
We'll get to that in a second.
I don't think they're here for us.
No.
No.
What do you mean? She's got the Dave sweatshirt on.
I took a picture with the entire front row.
She's got a B-Walk on the ground.
A Brandon Walker shirt right there.
We're good.
Wait, did you find the tummy of the shirt?
There's someone in a 10X hat and a Boy Dad sweatshirt.
Okay.
They're here for us.
But we are doing a wet wheel, and one of you is.
I think actually Boy Dad guy is definitely drying up.
He's drying a lot.
He's got the 10X.
So, Brandon, you're just doing this.
I do want to say, just as an aside, and I really mean this, you look great today.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
And the shirt and everything.
How are the legs feeling?
You look incredible.
Coming from you, that means a lot, and I appreciate it.
I really do mean it.
You were supposed to dye your goatee.
Okay, so here's the problem.
I did dye it.
I bleached it.
Why?
You are the man with no eyebrows. I realized I it. I bleached it. You dyed it? You are the man with no eyebrows.
I realized I already had a bleach goatee.
It was just white and gray.
So tonight I'm going and I'm buying.
I'm going to do the Scott Steiner.
I'm going to do black with a blonde strip.
Okay, yeah.
I like it.
I didn't know that until I got it.
My wife, it took 45 minutes the other day.
My wife dyed my beard and it did no difference at all.
It did no difference? It did no difference at all. It did no difference?
It did no difference at all.
No difference.
You also are adding something.
I'm not adding.
Well, no, no.
I might add something later.
Is that?
Okay, never mind.
Never mind.
Okay.
That's a secret.
All right, all right, all right.
Well, I got one more.
We don't have a guest today, so I don't have to say you know what I mean for everything.
Yes, but we have some guests coming.
I think we have at least five or six guests the rest of the week, so you will have to do that.
We're going to make them really uncomfortable. Yes, very uncomfortable. I think we have at least five or six guests the rest of the week, so you will have to do that.
We're going to make them really uncomfortable.
Yes, very uncomfortable.
Roan?
I'm wearing Nick's shirt.
I'm wearing Nick's long-billed hat from his suitcase.
I try to pull a fast one on Nick and bring a dummy suitcase.
Nick sniffed it out immediately at the airport, and this is his hat.
This is his shirt.
I just went to In-N-Out for the first time.
I fasted all day and just got my first In-N-Out.
What did you get? Standard order?
Cheeseburger. That's all they have.
That's going to get old so fast.
The first one was good as fuck, though.
Did the rest of you get In-N-Out? It was good as fuck.
Are you going to eat again tonight, or are you just doing one today?
I don't know. I'll see how hard I can push myself.
We're going to put a bounty on Roan, too.
If anyone sees him out eating something else, let us know.
Take a picture, let us know.
What's the bounty?
He's going to try to...
If anyone can catch Roan eating in L.A. this week
that's not In-N-Out, I'll give them $200 cash.
Holy shit.
Sass is going to be watching.
You mean a 50% pay raise?
He's going to be on your ass.
Wait, so what else do you have?
I need to get a dentist.
I need a dentist, and I don't know how.
Buddha Ben just told me that he has a dentist,
but he said he's like a Romanian guy who costs like a couple hundred dollars.
I'm not trying to really spring for that.
I need a pro bono deal with a dentist.
So any dentist, if someone has a dentist, put me on.
Okay.
I need to go to confession as well.
Plenty of churches.
Plenty of churches.
Two caveats, you have to get braces.
You can't take me seriously.
I can't take you seriously. You're a child.
You're adding caveats.
I think it would be bad funny.
No, I think that just saying I'm masturbated
I think will be believable enough. No, I think that just saying I masturbated I think would be believable enough.
No, but you could do it like
Brandon with the you know what I mean. If you do it to
you know, a clergyman
you're like, yeah, child rape.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, a man there done that.
Who among us has it?
You're complimenting Brandon though.
Yeah, you're wearing the least egregious of outfits today. that. Who among us has it? You were complimenting Brandon, though. Yeah.
You're wearing the least egregious of outfits today.
You started off easy. Yeah, I should have started
with the Simmons, probably. You probably should have.
Yeah, I can't believe you gave me a Bill Simmons
outfit.
You got the Bill Simmons
jersey. Richard Simmons.
Yeah, I got a Richard Simmons jersey and your boy
Maresh, a jersey from him. Yes.
And what's the other one? Oh, what?
There's like a picture of you and your little sister
on a long-sleeved tee. What?
Yeah, the long-sleeved tee. It's a
long-sleeved blue tee. It's a picture
of me and my little sister coming back
from the pool. We had a bunch of popsicles.
We're covered in popsicle.
Mind you, I'm eight years older.
So I was like a teenager.
You're the dumbest wardrobe of anybody that exists.
It's all jokes.
All your clothes are just jokes in some way.
Every piece of clothing is a bit.
Why would you have this?
That hat was really hard to find because
a bill too short,
not that funny. A bill too long,
obviously a joke.
So I had to find the perfect length bill
to where it's just kind of
head-turning enough. Because straight on,
it looks like a normal hat.
That's 125% of a bill.
I didn't even notice you were wearing it.
You're Smalls from Sandlot.
Oh, man.
Long-ass bills.
Alright, so I'm doing...
I belly flopped, which everyone witnessed.
We could play a part of the belly flop.
You want to play a little piece of it, TJ?
Maybe like four.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, there was the intro of KB putting his finger in my belly button,
trying to get to the bottom of my, trying to touch my balls through my belly button.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, there it is.
Oh!
Why is he two knuckles deep?
KB.
This belly button,
it's going to suck
because the first one sucked
and I have to do better
every single time.
It was a good belly button.
I know,
but I have to do better.
It's not for you,
but it's a good belly button.
Right,
but every time I'm going to do it,
I'm going to have to get better.
God, I'm fat.
I'm so fat.
What are you talking about?
I'm so fat. I'm so fat. I'm so fat. What are you talking about? I'm so fat.
I'm so fat.
No, he has to show I'm so fat.
Look at the A.
It's disgusting how fat I am.
Stop it.
No, you don't.
You look explosive.
I got to do a running start one day.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh my god.
Oh, you see the jiggle.
You gotta get a little frown on yourself.
See, I did. I still hold that.
At the very last minute, I kind of...
I can do better. I can do better.
Flop one of five.
You gotta do it with your little penis hanging out.
Great job, my boy.
You gotta get penis.
So Nirvana's gotta be a skinny dip.
So I did that. I complimented Brandon. I've been reading 10X, which is my brain is being corrupted.
Any quotes?
I actually have a – sorry, tweeted a couple of quotes.
But just to prove that I'm actually reading it, I wanted to share with you guys Grant Cardone, the hardest part of his life.
So he said, I was fortunate enough to have two distinct experiences in my life that served as major wake-up calls.
My existence and survival were being seriously threatened in both cases.
The first occurred when I was 25.
My life was a pitiful mess caused by years of approaching life aimlessly, drifting with no real purpose or focus.
I had no money, plenty of uncertainty, no direction, too much free time, and still hadn't made a commitment to approach success as an
obligation you know you don't need to grow old to die i was dying at the age of 20 as a result
of no direction and no purpose at that time i couldn't hold a job head surrounded my
was terminally hopeless and if that weren't enough using drugs and alcohol on a daily basis
like bro that sounds sweet.
That's all I'm saying.
When you were 24 with no commitments, you got drunk and high all the time.
That's awesome.
That was one of his crises.
Wait, at what point was he threatened with death?
Because he had eliminated success from his life.
And the minute you eliminate success from your life.
That's tantamount to dying.
It's all over.
Like the Roman Empire, they stopped trying to be successful.
Wait, how did they eliminate success?
That's what he said.
Roman Empire, you had a whole list of people.
They didn't stop trying to be successful.
They did.
You still have to be successful.
That's the only way you fail.
Yeah, you fail if you stop being successful.
A lot of times people like you, Brandon, you'll set a goal, and then when you can't reach that goal, you'll change the goal,
so then you reach it and make yourself feel good about yourself,
when in reality, you just didn't put in the effort to reach your initial goal.
Dan, you can't insult me while doing a 10x quote.
You have to compliment me.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, you do have to earnestly compliment me.
You used 10x to insult me.
You can't use another one. Wait, how much do you have to compliment him?
Is it just paying him one compliment?
Let me try. Let me try.
Brandon, I think if you gave
10x effort in your life,
you would be moderately
more successful.
That's very nice of you.
Thank you.
That's a compliment.
And the thing is, that doesn't apply
to any of us.
We put in no effort. We're in the same exact position.
All right, so Nick, that's my opinion.
What are you reading it on?
On Kindle.
And then also, I actually took a hike this morning and was listening to it on my phone,
which that was probably a low point when I was hiking, and the guy was like...
He ad-libs, so it's actually...
It's his voice.
It adds time to the book, because he ad-libs. So it's actually – It's his voice. It adds time to the book because he ad-libs.
He like riffs off of the actual written words.
Oh, my God.
Like I'll look along.
It's like, wait, he hasn't read any of the book in the last three minutes.
Wait, he ad-libs a book?
Yes.
He'll like add extra –
What do you mean?
He freestyles.
If you think there's not enough chapters about success, he also adds some ad-lib about success.
He just has no idea what his own book's about.
Yeah.
He's just talking.
It's something.
And then I still have to panhandle, so I will do that.
And run the 5K, which I think we all maybe agreed to this.
Yeah.
Yep.
So right now, let's see.
Almost all of us.
Let's see.
Someone's breathing into their mind.
Yeah, I'm taking mine back.
Do you know your panhandling skill yet?
I think I'm going to mime and then show up to the trivia tournament in full mime.
KB's laugh is his breath into the mic.
Just laugh out loud.
All right, so here's the deal.
The Barstool Yak YouTube has 51.8 subscribers right now.
1,000.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I would like to see it. You can't be throwing. As someone who prescribes the 10X theory, I would like to see it. As someone who prescribes
the 10x theory,
I would like to see it
at 5 million
by the end of the week.
That's doable.
That's 10x.
Yeah.
See, I can already tell
you're a fucking idiot, Brandon.
Brandon sees a 10x goal
and he's like,
I'll never get it.
You won't, you loser.
That's not what I was thinking.
I was thinking,
how quickly do I have to do this
to stop breathing into the mic?
You're not the one breathing into the mic.
I think I am breathing into the mic. You're like Taze on that.
So I'm very 2X right now worried about it, so I'm doing this.
Alright, so what do we say?
That was me.
I think every thousand
passes or every two thousand passes,
51.8, we add
a person to the 5K run.
I don't think we should have it up like that.
Whoa.
Oh yeah, what if it's dropping?'s not gonna drop come on it's for the people they're gonna run it's for the people what order
are we gonna do adding people the wheel the wheel will decide who we will decide we already have
added 5 000 since last night the wheel is just so let's do a wheel rig now to add one person to the
run now let's yeah yeah yes and the run add one person to the run. Yeah.
Run it out?
Yes.
And the run, by the way, is going to be at 1 o'clock Eastern time on Thursday live from a track.
Hopefully it's all of us running a 5K.
We got to get up and run at 10 a.m.? Yeah.
All right.
It's you.
It's your ass.
No, it's not.
I live in Washington.
By the way, because obviously people are going to be like, that's a cop out.
If you have to do the run, you don't have to do any of your other stuff that day.
So you don't have to roll the blade.
Let me run.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Well, people are like, oh, you're just making other people do your bad thing.
Yeah.
I'm trying to get, I'm incentivizing people to reach 10X success in their life.
It's actually obviously apparent there's a lot of losers that follow me
that don't want to be 10x.
You're letting them cut corners in their other endeavors.
Let's just spin the wheel.
I don't think I can physically run 5 miles
and then rollerblade for 2 hours.
Alright, so that's fine.
Wait, Stephen needs to be on there.
Where's Stephen and his ice cream?
He's coming out in a second. Stephen needs to be on there.
TJ, you don't have to run
We can't breathe out to we have to do it like the mayor out here when he's taking pictures
When we hit
54,000 subscribers on the act we spin it again. We're yeah 56 we spin it again
So let's keep it everyone keeps subscribing and what if we get to all of that? Can we start adding on to another?
Yes, we'll start doing cigarettes
now rollerblading I would love to play play I would believe so this is
elimination wheel no there's someone who's at it I can't change either. Way to go, KB. First off, fuck you guys. Everyone said I had the easiest punishment.
You look dope.
I have to wear this all week.
You look dope.
Did you go tanning salon?
And I went tanning.
I do that every day.
Did you see the tanning video?
Can we play KB's tanning video?
It's very tough to go into Hot Topic and be like, I have to dress like you as a punishment.
His earring said goth milk.
I told the woman, I want to look just like you, but it's a punishment for work earring said goth milk. I told the woman,
I want to look just like you, but it's a punishment
for work. Was it Billy Eilish that was
working there? Pretty much, yeah.
And then like the tanning bed too, I had to sign up for a whole month.
So wait,
how much money was you affordable?
I spent a thousand dollars today.
Give me some money.
How do you get the green
comb? I don't even think this is 2008 skatewear. I don some tanning money. The green comb.
I don't even think this is 2008 skatewear.
I don't even know what this is.
Sweet.
Here's Kimmy Tanning.
You missed the assignment so bad.
What is this?
That's like what a skateboarder would wear in a Disney movie.
That's like what a eight-year-old skateboarder would wear.
You look like a bully from Cheaper by the Dozen.
No.
You didn't get any more outfits?
You gotta get more, dude.
You can't just wear the same thing all week.
I spent $300 on this fit.
That was $300.
How?
$120.
That was $60.
No way.
$150.
No way, Wimpy.
$150.
That's not $150.
$60.
Shut the fuck up. You spent $20 on all that. Those aren't $150. No way. $150. $60. Shut the fuck up.
You spent $20.
$50.
Those aren't $150 pants.
$70.
Shut the fuck up.
$70 each.
Also, you have to take the glasses off, bro.
Yeah, that doesn't work.
They don't go with the look.
Oh, it's not?
No, I like the glasses.
I think they do.
I think they do.
Put them back on.
It looks worse.
All right, so Nick, what about you?
You can't be drinking beer either.
I've been pretty loyal to the LeBron jersey.
I'm dehydrated as fuck.
I'm having to go to the bathroom to go drink.
This is tempting. Can't do it.
All business Pete
is standing me up,
which is the best case scenario.
No, you have to make sure.
Find where he's eating breakfast and go eat breakfast with him.
I don't think he eats breakfast.
I think he just eats beige nutrition cubes.
I don't know. Where is he?
He finds a local pigeon and fucking bites
their head off. Every morning.
What else do I have? I have a mystery ball.
Yep, which we've got to figure out. The worst part
is these shorts that I'm wearing. Your legs. People are going after your legs. Somebody said it looks like I have a mystery ball. Yep, which we've got to figure out. The worst part is these shorts that I'm wearing.
Your legs.
People are going after your legs.
Somebody said it looks like I have rickets,
which I didn't know what it was,
and I Googled it, and yeah, it does look like I have rickets.
There is Pete.
You've got FDR legs.
You have to go to breakfast with Nick.
Presidential legs.
Yeah, you do.
He said in April.
He said, you fucking asshole.
It doesn't work like that, Pete.
This is also when Pete thinks he's the the boss of everything because he made the call
for someone else to do all this.
He didn't actually do any of this.
He didn't do any of that.
I actually walked by this morning when I was listening to 10X and he was just standing
here watching other people work.
Yeah.
You went on a walk this morning?
Yeah.
Just around here?
10X Life.
Yeah.
Went up the hills.
Really?
Yeah. Was it sweet? It was very sweet yeah. Went up the hills. Really? Yeah.
Was it sweet?
It was very sweet.
Did you do some house watching?
I looked at a couple houses.
Wait, did you use the word hike as just walk?
Well, it's a fucking...
It's a hill.
It's a straight up hill.
Were you on a sidewalk?
You went to CBS.
No, I walked up.
I walked up.
Were you on a trailer or a sidewalk?
You were on the street.
Well, no, there were times when there weren't a sidewalk it wasn't a sidewalk
it was a little dangerous
you were on the street then
I was in the street
so that's still a walk
so you went on a hike all day
I thought you were in the right
that was a hike
when you go up
it's a hike
I thought you were on a mountain
no you have to be on dirt
for it to be a hike
no I went in elevation
I'll go on a hike tomorrow
I'll go with you
okay great
but we have to go on a mountain though
you're gonna do that
in addition to your rollerblade?
Sure.
He's a fucking, he's a beast.
He's a beast.
All right, so what else do you have?
That was five X.
I think that, what else do I have?
Brandon is a major five X.
Hey, hey, hey, you've got to stop.
No, I already did my compliment.
I had a worst case scenario happen with the shorts at a restaurant last night.
Somebody sell your penis.
Your penis came out?
No, worst. That would be bad. Your penis came out? No, worse.
Your penis fell off?
My penis fell off and down my shorts.
As Owen's tooth?
The waitress thought I had a swastika tattoo.
Oh.
No, no, no.
Show it. Stand up for the people.
Just reveal the part that looks like it
so she can see what you saw.
I have this intricate line work tattooed on me.
But when I wear shorts, it's just that.
Which isn't good at all.
Wait, rotate a little bit the other way so the people at home...
Yeah, that's definitely...
Which is not ideal.
But the worst part was she didn't mind it.
She was like bummed. She was like, aw, I thought that was didn't mind it. She was like bummed.
She was like, aw, I thought that was a swastika.
It was like, oh, shit.
What, did you tell her what it really is?
No, that would be more embarrassing.
Pete, why are you looking discouraged?
Where are the mics in front of our mouths?
Who doesn't have the mic in front of their mouth?
Brandon breathes too heavily.
Brandon's tired from being carried up on stage.
The only thing that Brandon does 10x is breathing through his mouth.
He's the only person
that needs a CPAP when he's awake.
What do you think he's got going on with that fucking
Bluetooth in his ear? I don't know. He thinks
he's way more important than he is.
Alright, so you have a swastika tattoo
and then Owen, what did you do?
He also has to drink in the bathroom. Oh yeah, that
sucks. Bad. Because I haven't
been drinking very much.
Right. Yeah. Because you have to go to the bathroom. Which. Bad. Because I haven't been drinking very much. Right. Yeah.
Because you have to go to the bathroom. Which I hate.
Right. Somebody was taking the wettest
poop at In-N-Out.
And I was just there just drinking.
And I know the molecules
got in my cup. Yeah. I went to In-N-Out
he literally was like eating and he's like
alright, gotta go, gonna go drink.
Yeah, I've been staying true to it. Nick barged
into my room and tried to catch me eating in the bathroom.
He thought I was eating on the toilet.
He just saw my dick.
Wait, did you do the cold shower?
Oh, no.
We still got a cold shower.
We'll have to do that.
By the way, DatChat, everyone's got a code in front of them.
If you use the code and download DatChat, you get $10 for free.
So boom, right there, you get a free drink.
Free $10?
Yeah.
DatChat is sponsoring us all week.
And then what?
Oh, Takis is sponsoring us, a new Amsterdam vodka.
Great sponsors all week.
All right, so Owen, you're last, and then we'll have Stephen come up and eat an ice cream sundae.
Oh, it's pleasure smoking.
I've just been smoking.
So what have you had to do?
I've had 18 cigarettes
Are you guys doing stand-up comedy?
Yeah
Are you guys doing that tonight?
Yeah
So we'll have that for tomorrow's show
Tonight is stand-up comedy?
I think they are
So we can show it to you
Are you team prepared?
I still have to memorize it
What is it?
Do you have yours?
No
I want Brandon to smash a watermelon like Gallagher
I can't smash a watermelon like Gallagher
Why not?
I don't think that would be fair Again, the guy I can't be a watermelon like Gallagher. Why not? I don't think that would... Again, the guy...
I can't be seen with this guy.
He's 5x fucking... 2x. 2x.
Yeah. He might be half an x.
No, you're the square root of 10x.
I don't think a company is going to let you do that.
Can I tell you, as someone who's
changed his entire mindset in the last
24 hours, I would
probably, in the time
that it takes you to complain, I would have bought a watermelon farm, grown the best watermelons in the world.
Hiked them all the way up here.
Hiked them all the way up here.
Done a show.
Everyone's like, oh, my God, Big Cat's Watermelon.
Smashed it.
Jewelry comes out.
Wow.
Yep.
Naturally.
Like a pinata.
For the crowd.
For the crowd.
Cash.
I don't know why I didn't think of that.
That was very 2X with me. I apologize.
Why are you saying you can't smash a watermelon?
Are you physically
unstrong enough?
I can smash a watermelon, but I feel like if I'm going to
jack some comedian's material, you don't do Gallagher.
Why not?
It's so funny.
That's why it's funny.
If you smash a watermelon, it'll't do Gallagher. Why not? He's so funny. That's why it's funny. If you smash a watermelon
in an open mic,
it's the funniest thing ever.
Take a table and a hammer and a watermelon
to an open mic.
What is Gallagher?
See? The comedian
who just would smash a watermelon.
Do that.
Boom. Nobody knows.
So that will be for tomorrow.
I gotta go to the Walk of Fame and eat fries and ketchup off of Michael Bublé's star.
And mystery number two.
Oh, yeah.
We don't know the mysteries yet.
We don't know the mysteries.
Mystery four, I believe.
Just ask guests for vaccine ID.
Yeah.
That won't be awkward.
Do they get branded by, like, USC Sigma Chi's?
Yeah, that was one of them.
That was one of them.
Yeah, you guys.
Maybe they can come out or kind of go all the way to campus.
That's whack.
That's going to be, like, the worst one.
The thing is, like, you probably have to do that late,
so you'll probably have to stay on campus somewhere.
Also, TJ's putting on for the city, too.
He's going to get a tattoo, and he's been eating In-N-Out just for the love of the game.
Wait, TJ doesn't have to eat In-N-Out?
No, he does.
Early, though.
He wanted to get a taste for blood.
I've eaten In-N-Out three times and had diarrhea four times.
You had diarrhea three times?
Where's that coming from?
It's gone.
What about the tattoo boys?
TJ, you got your tattoos?
Yeah, I want to know what they're getting.
If anybody has any recommendations on where to go, I know what I want.
There's one on the block right here.
Where is TJ?
I'm in the booth.
He's in that corner right there on the TV screen.
Is he back in New York?
No way.
He flew back.
Steven, do you want to come out and eat this?
We also have Steven shredding water today
What do we do at a wet wheel too?
What's the deal?
So here's what we're going to do all week
Our hotel is like
I don't know 500 yards away
That's a good thing to say
In that direction
We actually have like
We have like presidential level security
It's like secret Service is there.
Jerry O'Connell came to do PMT today, and, like, he couldn't get in.
Yeah.
They had his arm jacked up behind his back.
So try us.
Anyway.
They will.
Unfortunately, they will.
Wet Wheel, we're going to do.
These guys definitely love us.
Every show.
Every show.
Yeah, they're just waiting for Dave and Josh Richards.
All right, Stephen.
Yeah, come sit right there.
Josh Richards is going to come out here and swing his dick on stage.
Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Chan.
Yay!
All right, so every show we'll do the wet wheel.
It's simple.
It will be one person and an audience member.
I think boy dad.
How dry are you?
Are you dry? Yeah, he's gone. All right, so he'll be on Boy Dad. How dry are you? Are you dry?
Yeah, he's gone.
All right, so he'll be on it today.
What's your name?
Julio.
Julio will be on it.
I'm surprised.
Jesse Lowe, you might have to chaperone him back if he gets it.
We're going to do the wet wheel.
It's going to be one spin.
One person has to go jump in with all their clothes and come back.
So we're making the only non-white
man in the crowd.
That's not true. That's called being
a gallant. You're not white at all.
Look how red you are. What are you talking about?
Non-white man. It's true.
It's Monday, but it feels like
Palm Sunday.
Che has to eat ice cream
out of his palm every day.
I've got a ton of ice cream. He'll die. Why do you have such a hard time finding eat ice cream out of his bowl. Yeah, we got to do this before the wet week. So I'm going to have a ton of ice cream.
Because you're going to die.
He'll stay with you for 30 minutes.
Che, why do you have such a hard time finding the ice cream?
Because I wanted to get like a cone and whipped cream and chocolates.
Should we put Stephen, we should probably put Stephen's tread water in the corner too while we do this.
Can we have some guesses of time?
Yeah, so let's guess the time.
So Stephen, so for people who don't know, Stephen Che is a borderline NFL athlete.
But the one thing he struggles at is treading water.
Nine o'clock person.
Three years ago, we had a challenge.
He had to tread water for, I think it was 15 minutes.
And if he did it, I was going to donate, we were going to donate money to a children's hospital.
They were going to cure cancer.
We were going to cure cancer.
He didn't do it.
At least a dozen children died.
At least.
Probably.
This year, I've said, I told him before, if he could do 10 minutes, I'll donate $2,000 to a children's cancer donation fund.
If he did 15 minutes, I would donate $5,000.
Wow, that's really nice.
But if he couldn't make it five minutes, I would do everything in my power to make sure
that they build a 5G tower in his backyard.
Which I just
found out caused cancer.
Yes, so I would literally
donate to
anyone, to anything,
to make sure that Stephen Che has a 5G
tower in his backyard. The entire backyard.
And here we go. Alright. So here we go.
So what's our guess?
I think he went three minutes. I think he went
like seven. I think he went nine.
Look at the angles.
Eight, seventeen.
Why did you have your eyes
closed?
This is gross.
You're going to get this all over the place.
Can we get him some napkins?
Literally what he wanted to do.
Over the plastic bag. it's a Palm Sunday.
Come and say Palm Sunday.
Oh, my God.
Out of your palm.
This might be one of those ones we don't have to do every day.
This is actually Palm Sunday.
Very cool.
Actually, I think you should just have to tread water every day.
Yeah, you can.
Yeah.
And try to beat it every day.
I don't think he's going to even break two minutes.
I also wore the whitest shoes possible. I got new shoes beat it every day. I don't think he's going to even break two minutes. I'm so worried. The whitest shoe is possible.
I got new shoes.
The white shirt?
I got new shoes.
He's really going all the way with the sundae.
I mean, it's a lot.
So are you already struggling at 45 seconds?
Yeah, it looks like it.
Because you look like you are.
Your eyes are open.
He's not going to break two minutes.
Yeah, your eyes open.
You look like you're panicking.
We had somebody treading water filming this?
Yeah.
Also, no coffee shit. I was doing it for like filming this? Yeah. Also, no coffee shit.
I was doing it for like 20 minutes on accident.
Easy.
No coffee.
Easy.
It's a very easy thing to do.
Steven claimed that he was in the top three of water treaders.
For this show.
No chance.
I don't think you are.
No chance.
You're bottom one.
I think you're bottom one.
Yeah.
No.
All right, we'll do it.
We'll do it tomorrow. Brandon would die. We think you're bottom one. Yeah. No. All right, we'll do it. We'll do it tomorrow.
Brandon would die.
We'll all get in the pool tomorrow.
Okay.
We'll all get in the pool.
Look at this.
Oh, my God.
Oh, there's Dave and Josh.
No.
Damn.
No.
Even we were excited.
I know.
They're coming early.
I mean, you're about to drown.
Yeah.
Why are you so low?
Hank was talking a little shit to him.
Just to keep him honest.
Wait, Nick, you Googled what the average human should be able to do?
Yeah.
What is it?
It was the average human naturally can do it.
They're buoyant enough to, with no effort, can do it for 15 minutes.
He could have just kind of floated.
Che, I think you tried too hard. I think that's why
you fucked up. It looks like when a cockroach gets flicked into the pool
and there aren't just on the back.
Che, you are just struggling, Che.
That's why I'm like, he's doing
the Rasputin dance.
Two and a half, two and a half, yeah, I mean, yeah.
Move less.
You are just almost underwater.
Che, what is this?
I want to start putting Che in different disaster situations.
Is there a Chilean mine anywhere around here?
We can definitely find one.
Oh, man.
2.35.
What was it the first time you did it, Che?
Three minutes.
No, like 4.15, 4.20, something like that.
And what was the goal?
15, but I mean, that was a ridiculous goal.
Show us your hand.
Oh, this is bad.
Ooh, palm Sunday.
All right, palm Sunday down.
Time for a cone.
I couldn't find an actual cone, so I've got to hollow this out.
Can you?
You've got to hollow it out with your hand.
He broke two minutes. He broke two. Okay, now he's about to be done. Can you? You gotta hollow it out with your hand. He broke two minutes.
Okay, now he's in full panic mode.
He's like swimming himself
further under.
He's anti-swimming.
You kept on saying that eight feet deep
like that was the deepest thing
you've ever heard.
Death doesn't matter for treading.
Eight feet deep is not that deep.
His whole jaw is under you. His ears deep. Jay, you're literally drowning now.
You're actively drowning.
Yeah, you are.
You're drowning.
He's dipping down deep.
You're drowning.
You are drowning.
We're watching a man drown.
It was not the best experience.
Jay, your whole head is under water.
Yeah, no. If there was a lifeguard in this pool, they would have had to take you out a long time ago.
40 seconds ago.
Look at his hands.
He can barely move.
That's the key, is I got advice before that if you fill your lungs with air, then you're just like a kind of naturally...
Buoyant.
Buoyant.
So if you ever, like,
God forbid, were in a boat crash,
you would be dead almost instantly.
I mean, I would try and grab onto something.
But if nothing was around, yeah, I'd be in trouble.
What do you mean, fill your lungs with air?
Breathe?
Yeah, no shit.
KB is a very good athlete,
and he did it for probably 15 minutes.
Yeah, you are. But you're borderline NFL.
Used to be.
When I came out, I started trying to talk shit to him
and he wouldn't hear it. He wasn't having any of it.
Look at the focus on his face.
He turned his back to me.
He's going close.
Dude, were they worried that you wouldn't even make it to the edge?
It looks like you're just going to start to sink him.
Sorry. His body is bad're just going to start to sink him. Sorry, so I'm in full
struggle mode. Shout out to Hank
because he was giving me the time and I really
need to break five minutes.
450. Don't get that.
Don't touch that wall.
Don't touch that wall.
Five.
Three. Two.
Four.
Five. Five you win.
Five-oh-one.
Was that one where you, like, completely wiped out?
I lost 15 minutes.
Five minutes?
I can't believe it.
He looks like a Rain American when he kid himself.
He must have happy Rain American kid himself.
Five minutes.
I'm sorry, I think you've got to try it again.
You've got to get six minutes.
He faked me out because he was giving me the time.
So I'm trying to get to five minutes and he goes, five.
And I went to touch his eyes.
I almost got him. Why is he doing sexy face?
He was happy about it.
He was like, this is awesome. I crushed this. Is this his sexy face. Steven was doing sexy face. He was laughing about it.
He was like, this is awesome.
I crushed this.
Is this his sexy face?
Yeah.
While Owen's just smoking two cigarettes.
That looks like, is that two or three?
It might have been four.
All right, so while we're up here, Steven,
I guess we should do the wet wheel.
Get it out of the way.
Wet wheel.
Oh, man. Is this an elimination wheel or a pick? It's cold when we should do the wet wheel. Get it out of the way. Wet wheel.
It's cold when we do the wet wheel.
I need to wear this every single day.
Black man standing has to jump in the pool.
And I think one audience member has to do it with whoever it is.
No, no, no.
You have to buddy carry Julio
and jump in.
No, Julio's on his own. Julio gets his own
spot on the wet wheel.
Julio takes his own spot on the wet wheel. Julio, if you do end up having to jump in, I'll make sure that you have some clothes that are dry.
Oh, no, he doesn't. All right, cool. No need.
All right, so this is the last barstool merchant. It might disintegrate when it touches the water.
Is this the last person standing?
Yeah.
Last person has to go.
I think two people.
No, no, no.
You're doing this all right.
We're doing this every day.
Just let us go walk and get into the pool every day.
Have we added enough subs to get another runner?
Are we running anywhere?
Well, the problem is people are watching on the Barstool Sports main account right now.
Pull up another window.
Pull up another window, subscribe to the Barstool Yak, and we'll add some people to the run.
We're adding people to the run. I can't. I have to go to the bathroom. You want water? No, you guys are going to skew the wheel. The last person has to go do it. That's right. Yeah. All right. Are we ready? Julio, are you ready? Wet wheel.
Wet wheel.
I hope Julio's out first.
Oh!
The life is hard.
Every time.
Start it over.
Start it over.
Every time.
Start it over.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart.
Restart. The wheel has to make a sound. The wheel has to make a sound. Wait, wait, wait.
What is Shane doing right now?
That's his voice.
That's his voice.
That's his voice.
Can you hollow it out?
No.
Yeah, yeah.
He's going to eat you.
All right.
I'll take your word for it.
He's also licking in a very aggressive manner.
He's being sexy again.
He's like a dog licking its ass right now.
Yeah, much like that.
He's just being sexy.
TJ, are you letting him boss you around?
The wheel made no sound.
It made sound.
All right, here we go.
But it instantly goes to Big Cat and Brandon.
No, it doesn't.
I think it's an alphabetical wet wheel.
It does.
God bless Julio.
He has to go jump in this pool.
No.
Credit to Julio.
He gets all the credit for being a great sport.
I got you. That's the best possible scenario for Julio. God damn it, Julio. Way to go to Julio. He gets all the credit for being a great sport. Yeah.
I got to say, that's the best possible scenario.
God damn it, Julio.
Way to go, Julio.
This is about the point where I start stressing it.
If I'm not in top three.
Yeah, this is definitely where the stress starts eating away.
Oh.
Okay.
Let's go.
My last two beers on the wheel was terrible.
Must be baby boy.
My boy, my baby boy. I'm not nervous yet. That won't fucking suck. I sweet baby boy. My boy, my baby boy.
I'm not nervous yet.
That won't fucking suck.
I'm like very happy.
No, it's going to suck.
We're going to do this every day.
Shoes in.
You guys are just going to be able to see the entirety of my penis.
It's a very penis-oriented show.
All right, here we go.
Now, TJ, can someone do a Zoom and follow him?
Or do we have that capability?
Nicky!
Fuck!
Fuck!
No!
Audience, I'm Nicky.
Do we have someone?
Can we have someone go on their phone?
I'll make it over there.
There's no cups.
You want the picture?
All right, here we go.
Oh, man.
This is now.
And you don't get taken off the wheel for tomorrow, right?
No, we decided that. You can do it two or three times. You could have to do it every single day. All right, man. This is now. And you don't get taken off the wheel for tomorrow, right? No. We decided that.
You can do it two or three times.
You could have to do it every single day.
Oh.
All right.
Know what?
Fucking A.
All right.
So the two people back.
I don't have any fucking names on this wheel.
I don't have any fucking names on this wheel.
Bro is not happy.
Is this the hotel pool?
Yes.
Yes.
We lost the hotel pool.
Yes.
I'm actually nervous.
You can jump in, pull it cold, walk back.
I feel like I fully lost the last one. You got a'm actually nervous. You can jump in, pull it cold, walk back. I feel like I fully lost
the last one. You got a lot of clothes on, too.
Okay, Kat, I'll take your spot for $50.
I think I would kill the
boss. The two people that would play this show
are $200.
We can't lose you.
We can't lose both of us.
We can do a Zoom, but I think Jeff D'Lo
is going to follow somebody on Zoom.
Thanks, Jeff. Great.
Come on.
Big money, big money, big money, big money, big money.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is fucking bullshit.
This is bullshit.
My wheel is just.
Dude, if I go to the pool with me, dude. This is my only outfit I'm allowed to wear. This is fucking bullshit. This is bullshit. I'm here with Joe, dude. If I go to the pool with Pian, dude. This is my only outfit I'm allowed to wear.
This is fucking bullshit.
You can't get that, right?
There you go, big cat.
Oh my god.
Wait, wait, wait.
Best of seven?
Best of seven?
You want to go best of seven?
Eliminator best of seven?
What do you think?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or you want time?
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all best of seven? Best of seven? What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you one time? All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
Best of what?
What are we doing?
Best of seven?
Princey Prince.
Best of seven?
Best of one.
All right.
Best of three?
I don't know.
Best of one.
All the marbles right here.
Best of one.
Best of seven, brother.
All right, so wait.
Hold on.
So Jesse Lowe's going to have a Zoom.
So whoever loses has to get up right now,
walk to the hotel, jump in fully clothed,
and come back.
TJ, we'll just have it in the bottom of
the screen. Don't even put sound on it, so
we'll keep doing the show, and we'll just
watch it.
Okay.
Whoever was walking back wet across the street
is so funny. Walking through the
hotel lobby just soaked.
Are you going to go with your shoes on?
Mind you, this is a two-hour show.
I don't know.
Those are $160 shoes that KP has.
No, shoot.
I'll pop up the shoes and pop them back on.
Just pull those out.
These are fucking collector's items.
You said they were $70 shoes.
The price tag's on the bottom.
Check the price.
Wait, wait.
You're not fucking lying. It's right on the bottom. It's right on the bottom. It said $20. They're not quality. What does it say?
Stop ripping it off!
They're $150.
They don't cost that much.
They never do.
Okay.
Best of seven.
Best of seven.
Whoever gets to four, whoever gets to four, So best of seven. No, two bets. Best of seven. Best of seven. We switched now.
Whoever gets the four.
You want to say your name.
You want to say your name.
Whoever gets the four wins.
Whoever gets their name laid on four times wins.
It's safe.
It's safe.
It's safe.
You want to hit your name four times.
Four times.
And they have to jump on the New Amsterdam raft.
No.
And then he said no.
And then he said no.
MB, loser of this has to break the New Amsterdam model.
Not yet. Not yet. It New Amsterdam model. Not yet.
Not yet.
It's the wheel.
Not yet.
He just does what he wants.
He doesn't have the density to break it.
This is bullshit.
How am I always in this position?
It's so bullshit.
You have it much better than me.
How?
How?
How?
I'm really afraid if you jump in with my clothes,
like the bill's going to shrink on me.
Or get real droopy. I'm really afraid if you jump in with my clothes like the bills gonna shrink on Work it real true
Give it a second you want to get you want to let it breathe for a second
All right, I'll let it breathe help savor my dryness. Well, I got it. Do you hear that set on losing?
I just don't feel good. I don't know the wheel is all mental
You know this I know and if you have me already
Already got the other ropes. Who are you waving to Brandon every time?
There's a sightseeing bus with people on top. I like to wave them
Just to disappoint them give them a fucking thrill. Yeah
You guys see Brandon Walker's I go to the smoke shop shop and get a bunch of Kratom. You just want Kratom for yourself.
Yeah, I mean like one person
has to... Just do Kratom. Do the Kratom you want to do.
Or maybe the loser has to do it on
the way or something.
Just do Kratom. No one cares.
I do care. It's changed
him as a person.
He's 25.
He drinks and does Kratom every day.
The worst part about this is that you can get it every day.
Oh, yeah.
There's a good chance that someone's going to have to repeat.
A double.
Equal to it being...
I think there's an equal chance there's a repeat
than it being someone different every time.
I wonder if we should make it so that if you do it once,
you're off, because then it makes it...
There's one true drive.
Yeah.
And then the last day, you go until there's one true dry. Yeah. And then the last day,
you go until there's one true dry.
Yeah, I mean, we could
do that. Okay, yeah, if you're
off this, you're eliminated, so that's good.
Alright, yeah, so there you go. You don't have to worry about it
for the rest of the week. It's almost getting out of the way.
Alright, I'll do it.
Well, you were going to do it anyway, weren't you?
Well, you had to do it anyway.
Yeah, I mean.
Alright, here we go. Let's do it., weren't you? Well, you had to do it anyway. Yeah, I mean. All right, I'll do it. All right, here we go.
Let's do it.
Let's finish it.
Wet wheel.
That's a seven.
TJ.
Spin that shit.
Ooh, we need some dramatic music, maybe.
Maybe.
There you go.
There you go.
All right, Ron.
Should have done the best of one.
Up one nothing.
Up one nothing.
I wanted to do that.
You got the best one.
I wanted to do that. Is there a best one. I wanted to do that.
Is there a port-a-potty back there that I can just, like, drink really quick?
No.
I'm starting to get nervous.
If you start pissing in a cup on stage, that's technically a bathroom.
Plus, it's L.A.
Everything could be a bathroom.
Right?
Walk out behind the stage.
Yeah, I guess if I piss.
While drinking.
Yeah.
As long as you're peeing, you can drink.
Right.
Okay.
Something in, something out at all times.
I guess spin.
No.
1-1.
Do it again.
1-1.
Do it again.
Reset.
Do it again.
Jeffy Lowe is a lanyard guy for life.
He just loves wearing lanyards.
Let's go, Lowe.
If you give him a lanyard, it's going to happen.
Can you guys do a jackknife?
That's a big splash.
All right, all right, all right.
I'll do a jackknife.
Okay, so what is it, 2-1?
2-1, Lowe.
2-1, Lowe.
Oh, it's going to be a speed.
It's going to be. No, it's wrong. Oh, no. 2-2. one-row. Oh, it's going to be a speed.
No, it's row. Oh no, 2-2.
3-3. I feel like it always comes down to the last game.
It's almost like a 50-50.
Mmm. Almost.
That's a row. 3-2 KV.
No! No! 3-2 KV.
So I need to get two in a row or else I'm jumping in the pool? 3-2 KD. No! 3-2 KD. So I need to hit you in a row or else I'm jumping in the hole?
3-2 KD.
Fuck!
Ah!
No!
No!
Oh, boy.
Fuck me.
Oh!
See you, pal.
See you, pal.
Bye, Adam.
All right.
Oh, man.
That's it.
Frank, keep your lap up. He's been legitimately dead. I mean, he's been right. That's it. Frank, keep your laugh up.
He's been legitimately angry.
He's been getting screwed by the wheels.
Constantly.
Bro.
Constantly.
He's got two hours in the cold weather.
Yeah, it's about to get chilly.
Soaked.
45.
Wet road.
All right.
Thank you, Stephen.
Thank you, Stephen.
Check.
Can you bring some cups up?
I love this view.
There he goes.
Also, we lost half our audience.
Yeah, we did.
They're all on the picture with chicken fried.
That girl in the shirt I signed also got Dave to sign her shirt.
Oh, wait.
He signed a Brandon Walker?
Oh, no, he signed his own shirt.
Okay.
I still got my own?
Okay, good.
He's being such a bitch about it. Oh, no, he's got his own shirt. Okay. I still got my own? Okay, good. He's being such a bitch about it.
Oh, my God.
All right, so that's decided.
So every show will have one person until there's...
And he got it out of the way.
That's got to feel good.
We'll have to do two people one day.
Yeah.
And maybe not anymore.
Julio might just be the only audience participant ever on the wheel.
Let's do two-man Tuesday. Okay, so tomorrow two people. Julio, are be the only audience participant ever on the wheel. Let's do two-man Tuesday.
Okay, so tomorrow two people.
Wait, Julio, are you coming back?
Two-man Thursday.
You'll be here all week.
The splash.
You'll be here for three days.
Julio's going to be here.
You're going to be here for three days?
You're on the wheel?
Okay.
Kind of makes you wonder what Julio's doing the other two days.
It sure does.
Two-man Tuesday.
We'll knock two people out.
What are you doing the other two days, Julio?
You got to work?
Okay.
Well, Sasson can go to work for you.
Yeah, that's true.
Now. I got a rollerblade.
Oh, Roan's still standing there? What the fuck?
Yeah, what the hell is he doing?
Do you guys want to talk about the Super Bowl?
Those girls just met Dave and they said he's taller
in person. Yeah, we gotta do five minutes of sports talk.
Should we wait
until Roan gets back? Yeah, we can wait
till Roan gets back. Well, Roan hasn't even left yet.
Sweet. Legacy defining.
Yeah. At an early age.
Not happening.
Don't you say Rams?
Yeah, it's my team. They can't block them.
Are you laying fours?
You're laying four?
What? You're laying four?
Are you laying four? Are you laying four? The Rams are favored by four, Nick. How many times did I say you're laying four. What? You're laying four. What? You're laying four.
Are you laying four?
The Rams are favored by four, Nick.
Brother.
How many times did I say you're laying four?
By the hook.
I'm hearing your voice here and here, but it's delayed.
And I also didn't know what that meant.
Yeah.
Laying four?
Yeah.
Laying four?
Yeah.
Sasser, are you going to do actual comedy at one of these places?
God damn.
At the open mic?
Yeah.
No.
Oh, we got Roan Cam. Whose set are you going to do?
There's Roan Cam.
This looks like a live leak video.
He's about to get hit by a loose truck tire.
Right in front of him.
It looks like the beginning of a music video.
He's going to turn to the camera and start spinning bars.
Also, any secret about our hotel
is about to be completely shut.
Well, like I said, we have security for a reason.
Hopefully that works out.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Why did...
Stephen Chay, do you think Will Chamberlain
really slept with 20,000 women?
What does... He just comes to LA
and that's the first thing he thinks of? Yeah, he's been very
horny. He walked past that strip club
and he was like, guys, we gotta go.
And then he pulled me aside. He was like, you wanna go?
I was like, no. And I was like, I don't like strip
clubs. And he was like, what? He also sent
a picture to the group about
the Comedy Store. Yeah.
Nobody knew it existed.
We were talking about it a lot.
A lot.
The whole time.
There's the Comedy Store.
If you're just looking for spots where we're at.
We can't hear Roan, but can
the broadcast hear him?
Carlos Mencia. Looks like it.
He looks good
in the fit, though. That's a mean fit.
It's a good fit. It's a good shirt.
Thanks, man.
I gave him one for every day. So far. He looks good in the fit, though. That's a mean fit he's got on. I know, that is a good fit. It's a good shirt. Thanks, man. It's a great shirt.
How many outfits did you give him?
I gave him one for every day.
So far?
Yeah, he has the Moresh jersey.
He has...
Ben Simmons.
The Moresh jersey.
Ben Simmons.
He's awesome.
He has the picture with me and my sister.
He has that, and he has...
Oh, I gave him six.
Dabbing, spiky fruit, pineapple, and...
You really just said spiky fruit?
Spiky fruit?
I haven't drank very much today.
Spiky fruit.
We should do a shoplift
wheel.
We have to go somewhere around here and steal something.
On camera?
Yeah, and then return it.
KB, you shoplifted it.
I'm sorry I stole this.
They would expect it.
KB, they would see you walk in the door and all of a sudden everyone's eyes would turn.
They'd be waiting for you to steal something.
Let's do it.
I feel like he's walking way farther than where our hotel is.
He's throwing people off the trail.
Yeah, he's going the roundabout way.
That's smart.
We're about to get him jaywalking on camera.
If we could clip that and send it to the police.
Oh, there he goes.
There he goes.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Jesus.
Very dangerous.
Oh, wow, TJ.
Good job.
Good job.
He's back.
Felony on camera.
What a nice person.
And this is good that he's going into a hotel we're not staying at.
It's great, too, because if you thought, oh, they're going to L.A.,
they're not going to be able to just do the same bits.
Well, we can.
We can do it.
We can do the exact same show.
Don't you worry.
We will hammer this into the ground.
He's got to go a couple floors down, and then he'll be at the pool.
He hasn't taken the elevator all day.
He's doing this to impress right now.
I do appreciate all the wet wheel stands.
When Dave had his debate last night
with those three dorks,
people in the comments section were just like,
wet wheel, wet wheel, wet wheel to decide it.
That would be awesome.
All debates should be decided by the wheel.
They pause the debate and they're like,
alright, someone's got to hop in the shower.
This debate is way too dry.
Yeah.
They should do that with presidential debates.
Hear me out.
I think this wet wheel is too easy.
I think we have to find a different way to get wet.
Okay.
But this is, I mean, if he does it right, like you jump in all your clothes, then you have to walk back.
What's he doing right now?
What's he doing?
I don't know.
He went to the pool and then he turned around.
And then we lost the service.
Oh, no.
Something's fishy.
They connected to the hotel Wi-Fi.
Oh.
Oh, that son of a bitch.
Yeah.
He also is going somewhere totally different.
Yeah, that was like the gym.
I don't trust him one bit.
He's probably going to eat.
Okay, they're going now.
Here he goes.
Did he change or something?
It's a different person.
Whoa.
All right. Yeah, he got a body or something? It's a different person.
All right.
He got a body double.
He did get a body double.
That's Cody Lansing.
Yeah, it is.
That's one of your blonde hair boys.
Yeah.
One of them, yeah.
It's my third favorite one.
Who's your favorite?
I don't think he's here anymore.
The curly-headed ones?
I like the curly-headed ones. Gage.
Gage.
Awesome guy.
I don't know what he's doing. He's ruining this. Something's fishy. Put him in the... Gage. Awesome guy.
I don't know what he's doing.
He's ruining this. Something's fishy.
He's probably changing all of his clothes.
Probably.
Oh, he went to the bathroom.
What did he do?
He did say he had to piss, so maybe he just didn't want to piss.
Here he goes, taking off his shoes.
Which I wouldn't do. I'd just go full straight in. He's going to have to put his shoes on. You want to piss. Here he goes, taking off his shoes, which I wouldn't do.
I'd just go full straight in.
He's going to have to put his shoes on.
You want to take the shoes off?
No.
Wet socks might be worse.
Just walk in and then walk out.
Oh, he's going sock.
Oh, my hat.
Come on, hat.
I wanted a wet hat.
Oh, jackknife.
Jackknife.
That's a pretty big splash.
Is that the shallow end?
The shallow end.
He didn't go deep in.
Oh, damn.
He has to come and sit here the whole time.
Yeah, that sucks.
It also sucks.
Let's put this thing.
What is this?
Is this like a.
Yeah, do that.
Sort of.
Whoever sits here later doesn't have to get also wet.
See what I'm saying?
Oh, it would just be Chicken Fry or Dave or one of them.
Yeah, that would suck.
Won't matter.
Okay, we still got an hour left of the show, and we just ran through everything.
Yeah.
No, we don't have a wrong wallet.
I feel like that went by fast.
Oh, yeah.
A wet wheel for a wrong wallet?
We're fucked.
We're fucked.
Now we do our sports talk.
Now we talk about Super Bowl.
I think we already did that.
I think we already did that.
Five seconds of football talk.
KB, your glasses are prescription now.
They are.
But they're not your prescription?
Yeah. You borrowed them from our friends.
Wait, so...
Let me see them. So you're fucking up
your vision right now? Where's Nico?
Oh, yeah. What are you doing?
They work. What do you mean
they work? They help me
see better. You just can't take somebody else's
prescription. Why? That's going to give you
my vision worse. It might give you a lazy eye. You just can't take somebody else's prescription. Why? That's going to give you my vision. That already gives
that hell of a shit. It might give you a lazy
eye. You'll be fine.
KB with a lazy eye would be great.
It would be funny.
Do we have any co-workers with lazy eyes?
Oh, yeah. I get a lazy eye
when I retire.
Are you obsessed with?
I don't know what you're talking about.
He's coming, though.
He is.
He's coming back.
Are these just like rating glasses?
Damn, I've never seen this clear in my life.
What?
Exactly.
Right?
It helps.
So everyone just needs prescription glasses?
Let me try.
Everybody just has, yeah, you guys just need glasses.
Yeah. Shit. just need glasses. Yeah.
Shit.
I'm dead.
I'm so serious.
Oh, now it sucks.
You have to just go back to...
Now it's like all blurry.
That's weird.
Maybe I need glasses.
Yeah, definitely.
Oh, man.
Maybe a little...
What's everyone doing in the street?
I don't know.
Taking a picture, I guess.
Huh.
I don't know.
I bet you he needs a spicy chip-like snack, doesn't he?
TJ, do we have any more Yak subscribers?
Just trying to figure out other ways we can use the wheel.
Yeah, definitely.
I'm obsessed with the wheel.
The wheel doesn't have to die.
I'm saying we can do a little bit. It has to die naturally, though. No. the wheel. The wheel doesn't have to die. It has to die naturally, though.
No, I said it doesn't have to die.
Oh, it doesn't have to die.
No, I don't think it can.
The wheel lives on forever.
For the yak tattoo, someone should get the wheel.
A nice rainbow.
A buddy hit me up and was like,
we've started deciding things with the wheel.
It's the best way to do it.
Yeah.
Dude, people are wet-wheeling from their homes.
What?
We should add a new wet-wheel.
Yeah, people are going to go pre-game.
Yeah.
Shit.
Actually, let's do it right now.
We should make a website that hosts the wheel and make money off it.
Maybe steal people's information.
Yeah.
This is, again...
And sell it.
I've been reading the 10X book, so I'm trying to figure out ways to make money.
Yeah. I want somebody else to get've been reading the 10X books, so I'm trying to figure out ways to make money. Yeah.
I want somebody else to get wet.
Today?
Wait, what?
Can we just add like five of them?
No.
I don't think they want to get wet.
Let's not blow our water.
Tomorrow we're going to do two people.
I want someone to get wet.
We have two people coming tomorrow.
It's too wet Tuesday.
Yeah.
Two people tomorrow.
Let's get somebody wet.
And Wednesday will be very funny because we have guests, so they're going to be like,
why the fuck is that person wet?
It has to be a dude.
I don't think any of us can make a, you know.
Three guests on Wednesday?
Woman wet.
Yeah?
You've never?
He went there.
Is your mic too far again?
It's way too far away.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Brandon, talk us through the shirt choice.
Do you have a different shirt for every day?
Here comes Roan. I do.
I put a fit together, yeah. I went to
Dick's Sporting Goods in Paramus and bought this for $43.
Oh, yeah. Clap it up for Roan.
He looks so miserable.
But he's done now.
He's good. He doesn't
have to worry about it.
He's good for the rest of the week. But he's soaking ass wet.
Yeah, he is soaking.
It's probably cold. Oh, he's freezing.
Yeah, he's going to be shivering.
Come on up, buddy.
Dude, you want something to eat?
How'd that go?
Yeah, he's wet.
He wants to do it again.
He wants to just do another wheel.
He wants to do it again. Should we do it again?
That's too wet Tuesday.
Yeah.
I'm safe for today.
I don't want to be wet at all.
How is it?
Take a seat.
Sit down, pal.
You got it out of the way.
We missed you, Roan.
We didn't talk about anything.
We don't know what to do.
We stopped talking when you were gone.
Why didn't you get the big build hat?
Yeah, you should have jumped in with the big build.
Oh, you're cold.
I'm so uncomfortable as you walk out of there.
It's cold.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Things are about to just really start going really bad for me.
Things have been.
You've been a dickhead for such a long time.
A long time.
A long time.
I was like, A genuinely malicious man
A terrible person
Yeah, and now it just seems like the universe
Just woke up
It's hitting like a fucking ton of bricks right now
You threw a cactus to KB
To me
That was eight years ago
How many times
How many times
I've enjoyed this
Speaking of which How many times have you been in the same room? How many times have you been in the same room?
Speaking of which.
He put pins on Frankie Borelli's chair.
And no one sat on them.
He used a voodoo doll against me.
I was protecting myself.
By the way, shout out my guy Frankie Borelli.
I know he's going through a bad time right now.
That's the fattest picture that I've ever seen.
I know he does not have chins anymore.
He's a man of the moon. He looks like an egg. ever seen. I know he does not have chins anymore. It's just Bruce showing
like I've never...
Remember his really bad
picture where he had a little line of hair
and it was like resting
on his fat chin? He has a picture
now that's worse than that.
It's from a low angle. It looks like
his face got smushed.
His face is going too deep. Can we pull it up?
Yeah, we have to.
Now, again, we're saying nice things about Frankie.
This is not meant to be mean.
No, he's in our thoughts.
Yeah, he's in our thoughts.
He makes you feel super skinny, I bet, when you're about to do belly fuck.
Oh, God, I looked at it.
I was like, yeah, he'll be like that.
Look at that.
It looks like his face is full of meatballs.
He's a squirrel who eats meatballs.
Him and his fiancee cut it off.
I can't see that Which also sucks
This is way worse
So it's a tough position for him
It's a double whammy
He completely got double whammed
I don't know which one's worse
I mean that's a thing to behold
It's a chicken or the egg situation
It's the egg It's a chicken or the egg situation. Yeah.
It's the egg.
It's the egg.
It's the egg.
It's the egg.
It's the egg.
Man.
Fuck.
Play us a tune on that guitar, boys.
What's that thing doing over there?
It gives us a little six string.
We did forget that we have to do...
Someone has to do, like, karaoke every day.
Why don't we do that?
I don't think this is the...
Karaoke right here for this crowd?
Right here.
Oh, that's horrible.
Yeah.
That's my worst nightmare. I don't sing. Yes? Karaoke right here for this crowd. Oh, that's horrible. That's my worst nightmare.
I don't sing.
A man shouldn't sing.
A man should never sing.
It's not the man's way.
It's the woman's way to tell the stories, pass down the oral tradition, create art.
What is the worst meat to get on your taco and why?
I guess human dog.
Yeah. Poisoned human. Poisoned man. Yeah. your taco and why? I guess human, Steve.
Poisoned human? Poisoned man.
Does this man taste funny to you?
And they're just sucking my dick.
Oh my gosh.
That's what they say.
Oh, Chad, can you do the next ad read?
I mean, Nick, can you do the next Chad read?
I mean...
That was mean. That? I mean, Nick, can you do the next Chad read? I mean... That was mean.
That was very mean, girl.
How is that?
I'm trying to do an ad read for Todd.
That's an inside joke from the company party.
I wasn't there.
Oh, weird. You weren't?
A lot of people weren't.
I saw Rudy there.
I actually said hi to a bunch of people,
but I left.
Talkies. It's football's hottest, most intense
game coming up. You need a game day
snack to match the intensity.
Talkies rolled tortilla chips create a distinctive
crunch and flavor.
They deliver the intense, one-of-a-kind
fuego flavor. It deliver the intense, one-of-a-kind fuego flavor.
It was my last meal.
Yeah, you had it last night, didn't you?
We have a takis vending machine
in the hotel over there.
That's free. It's incredible.
We got that big-ass bag of takis over there,
which, believe it or not, is actually filled
with big takis.
It has giant takis.
So you're doing stand-up comedy
tonight. I don't know.
I don't know if we're doing it tonight.
You have to. We want it for tomorrow's show.
We have a ton of guests on Wednesday.
I think we have guests on Thursday and Friday, so we need something
for tomorrow. Can we do it tomorrow afternoon?
Is there an
open mic in the middle of the day?
There usually is.
No.
It would be great for tomorrow's show Is there an open mic in the middle of the day? There usually is. No. Do it tonight.
Just do it tonight.
It would be great for tomorrow's show if we had stand-up from all three of you.
Well, I think we decide what he does.
What do you have to do tonight?
I'll do mine another day for real.
I got something.
What do you got?
I have a thing tonight.
What?
What do you have tonight?
What?
I have a childhood friend who lives in L.A. and I'm going to dinner with him.
No way.
His name's Baron Davis.
Baron Davis?
I went to school with a guy named Baron Davis,
a guy with Antoine Walker, but they didn't play in the NBA.
This is their name.
He lives out here and we're going out to dinner.
It's going to be nice.
A man from West Point, Mississippi made it to L.A.?
Well, I live in New York.
Yeah, I mean, that was like a total...
You just happened to go live on that show that day. Yeah, I mean, that was like a total... You just happened to go live on that
show that day. Yeah, and I
got hired, and I did a great job.
Barron's out here doing a great job with his
fashion show. What show did he happen to go on?
He does something.
What's he do? What's Barron do?
He's...
He's my friend.
I don't think he's your friend. Speaking of Barron,
we have some big guests coming this week.
Wait, what?
I didn't know Barron would be around.
Yeah, we hit him up.
What's he been doing?
He's been dominating soccer.
Yeah?
Dominating soccer.
He's got a high profile for sure.
I went over to his profile where you can see
his stats. So good.
What is it like?
We're talking about Barron Trump, by the way.
What?
For the people listening at home who might not know,
we have a lot of people watching right now.
We got new people too.
We have a bit where Rome does Barron Trump's voice.
280.
Where are we at on subscribers?
Do we know?
I do not know. I know that we have
like 18,000 people today.
Alright, so we've got to get more subscribers. When we get to 53,
we'll spin the wheel again.
No, it's 54.
I think we should just do wheels non-stop.
We are a wheel show now.
Alright, we can do the Kratom one, which would be hilarious.
Are you installing Kratom? Yes! I be hilarious. Are you installing from Kratom?
Yes.
Just fucking scratch it.
I don't know where the fuck you're getting me.
I feel like I'm right on the mark.
You've been a recluse because this is the first time you've spoken since we've been in L.A.
Let's do the Kratom wheel.
That's what I fucking need.
All right, let's do a Kratom wheel.
Let's do the Kratom.
It'll be mad funny.
What is Kratom?
It's an over-the-counter opiate.
But I'm saying, what form does it come in?
How do you do it?
Liquid.
Do you poof it?
You could.
You should poof something.
Poof it?
No, poof it.
Put it up your butt.
We should poof something.
KB, let's do a wheel of how KB will ingest the Kratom.
Yeah.
Up your butt.
Intravenously.
Snort it.
So what does this drink put in your ear?
Ear drop?
That gets you so fucked up.
Maybe sprinkling it in a smiley shot?
Oh, slashing your big toe
and pouring it in a little bit.
The old hockey trick.
That's actually nice.
You could use some rips in the shirt, too.
I feel like if you just kind of ripped it up a little bit,
that would look cool.
Maybe a razor.
A couple holes.
Does it have the thumb holes in it or no?
That's a shame.
That is a shame.
Cut some thumbies in.
Oh, no.
He's taking out his earrings.
Oh, he's ripping the thumb holes.
He's now hurting himself.
Oh, God.
Oh, okay.
Your ears bleed pretty bad now.
I got to speed up the process.
I know.
Owen's almost done with all of his six.
He's going to finish tonight.
A pack a day is so much.
So, people do that.
It hasn't been hard.
From Meet Virginia.
Yes.
She smoked a pack a day.
That's right.
Oh, no, wait.
That was him.
This is my third one.
No, that was her.
That was her, right?
She smoked a pack a day. Wait, that's me. But anyway. Oh, that's right. Fuck, no, wait. That was him. This is my third one. No, that was her. That was her, right? She smoked a pack a day.
Wait, that's me.
But anyway.
Oh, that's right.
Fuck.
See, bro?
Sorry.
I just get there like so gross.
How do your legs feel?
My legs?
Yeah.
Oh, my legs feel good.
I got the calf muscles of a...
Chop some hiney for us.
Huh?
Chop some hiney for us.
No, I can't do that.
Wait, so you're going to wear these out with Baron Davis?
I'm wearing these all week, yes.
With Baron Davis. I heard you might be taking them off
in your room?
I don't have to sleep with them on.
Yeah, you do.
Nobody's been enjoying it more than Gilly and Wallow.
Every time they see you, they bring another person up.
They're like, look at this.
They haven't looked in their room.
They roll their window back and they talk to us.
We told you there was a guy here who had these.
They had a woman in there today.
She just appeared out of nowhere and she loved my ankle weights.
What's that woman doing in your hotel room?
Why were there women there?
They had a woman.
A woman who works with them, Brandon.
Oh, really?
Yes.
They're getting a variation.
You're getting a vein in your...
Yeah, you got a pump. No, I'm just joking. No, you have veins. You have random veins. Are you bleeding? Yes. You're getting a vein in your...
No, I'm just jacked.
No, you have veins.
Are you bleeding?
Those look unhealthy.
I'm good.
You got a swole-ass gas.
They're only five pounds. They're fine.
Stop breathing into the mic.
Who? You. Sorry.
That ain't me. I was talking when it happened.
Oh, that was me.
They're exhaling their ciggies.
Can they not smoke ciggies?
Can the boys smoke their ciggies?
So gross.
Did you switch up brands?
No, I've always been going with the 70s.
Fuck.
You okay?
You got a smokey ear?
Yeah, it hurts so bad.
Holy shit. You're a baby smokey eye. It hurts so bad. Holy shit.
You're a baby.
You are.
That means that you're not inhaling enough.
We're making a child smoke.
What day are we doing mystery balls?
I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing.
TJ, if you could not give me the alcohol.
Wait, who has that?
I have one.
I have one.
Nick has one.
You have one.
And what are they?
There's two edibles on there.
There's a drink.
There's politically leaning opposite directions.
And then blackout drunk before the show, but nobody can know.
Did you pussies talk about football yet?
No.
Nick is laying the floor.
Nick is laying the floor.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I'm laying the floor as well. Well, what's your thought process? He said buying hooks is for suckers. What, really? Yeah. I'm laying the four as well.
Well, what's your thought process?
He said buying hooks is for suckers.
What's the thought process?
I believe.
Brandon is very high on the Rams.
I just think they're a lot better football team.
But Joe Burrow.
KB's high on the Rams.
The counterpoint to all the things that you say is Joe Burrow.
Joe Burrow exists, but they can't block him.
But Joe Burrow.
Joe Burrow, okay.
They can't block him.
Right.
But they couldn't block him in the Titans game. The Titans won. Joe Burrow exists, but they can't block him. But Joe Burrow. Joe Burrow, okay. They can't block him. Right, but they couldn't block him in the Titans game.
The Titans won.
Joe Burrow.
If he's laying there dead, he can't throw a touchdown pass.
But the Titans have a better pass rush.
Yeah, they got sacked nine times.
Than Aaron Donald.
And then Von Miller's a big game guy.
Von Miller's a big game guy.
Listen, my guy Jersey Jerry told me Aaron Donald's kind of overrated.
And he knows.
And he knows.
He sees the times.
Yeah, and he has the numbers.
Here's another reason that you might like Cincinnati that could sway your thinking a little bit.
Caleb and I are both going to Cincinnati
to film if they win.
And we've never lost when we've been together.
Ever.
Still undefeated.
6-0 or 7-0.
I think that should factor into your decision, Nick.
That absolutely factors into the decision.
I know.
I'm a Rams fan.
Born and raised.
Oh, you did make your prediction months ago, too.
Yeah.
You should be able to stick by your prediction.
I made my prediction two weeks ago, and I went with the Bengals.
No, you were with the Chiefs, I'm pretty sure.
The Chiefs?
No, I was the Chiefs before they lost, and now I'm the Bengals. But before that I was the Bucs, and then before that I was the Patriots.
I hop around. I hop around
to get there. Oh, the Eagles too. All the teams
that I've wanted to win have lost.
So you should root for the Rams.
So now I have to bet the Rams.
That's fucked. Damn it.
Root for the Rams, dude. I want the Bengals to win.
No, I'm rooting for the Bengals.
Bryn, have you thought about the
fact that it's Joe Burrow?
I've considered the fact that it's Joe Burrow,
but they didn't get here. I still don't think you're thinking
about that. They didn't really get here because of Joe Burrow.
He's great. He's got swag. He had two
touchdowns, two interceptions.
Their defense shut down
Patrick Holmes. Is their defense going to shut down?
That guy's a Rams fan.
Is their defense going to shut down? Half an's a Rams fan. Is their defense going to shut down?
Half an X. Why not?
And listen, you got the
best receiver in football on one side, and then O.B. James
having a resurgence on this side. Are they going to stop
him? Are they going to stop them? No.
Dude, people are showing up expecting to see Bryce
Hall, and they're pissed.
Why is this guy, this southern guy, yelling
about Joe Burrow?
We're breaking down football in their pits.
People are showing up in Rolls Royces right now.
Yes, this is the fucking crowd, bro.
I know.
Dude, we went to a restaurant last night that had one waitress and two DJs.
I know.
She came out and she was like, I'm sorry that I can't get you more chips.
She was haggard.
And James Kennedy was back there.
She's like, we don't have enough chips, but if you need some Diplo, we can get you.
And then you were like, yeah, that's fine, and then you didn't tip her.
Yeah, you never do.
You never do.
It's a little quirk you have.
I love that little thing you did.
It's a regional thing.
It's kind of a joke.
It shows them.
We're New Yorkers.
I'm going to start tipping people with 10x quotes.
I mean, that's the most valuable thing. Or $300 in We're New Yorkers. I'm going to start tipping people with 10x quotes. I mean, that's about it.
$300 dinner.
Here, take this with you.
Do you think in LA being a DJ is like a blue-collar job?
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
Everyone's a DJ.
It definitely is.
You just go to trade school for it.
It's the poorest of the poor.
You know who's having a blast? The DJ guilt?
Those are two security guards that traveled with us.
Oh, they're having a blast.
Fuck yeah, man.
They're having a blast.
I looked down the front window.
They were both walking down whatever street we were on.
He's drunk as fuck right now.
With their shirts off.
They're just coming from a different pool, walking back to our place.
They're fucking living.
And they're shredded, bro.
Dude, they're huge.
Did they get more jacked on the way out here?
Yeah.
Well, they went to the gym this morning.
Yes, bro.
They got to pump it.
Come pop a shirt off, bros.
Come on.
That one right there.
It's a tasty abs.
These bros had the vacuum-sealed abs of steel.
I was walking over for the show, and he pulled me aside,
and he pulled out a grenade in the back of his pocket.
He was like, let me know if anyone gives you a hard time.
Let me know if you want me to use this.
Yeah, no, he pulled it out, and he's like, yeah, Anthony's got the pin.
He's in the back.
He was shot at it like an apple.
Tossing it up to himself, catching it.
There he is.
Show us the grenade.
Show us the grenade.
Or at least the guns.
I think they actually threw it earlier today.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were tests. They have a bunch of test ones. They're just thrown into the guns. I think they actually threw it earlier today. Yeah, they have a bunch of test ones.
They're just thrown into the ocean.
No, they were like leaving the hotel
and they asked if I knew where any mosques were.
Shout out to our sponsors.
Wood.
God, I love that stuff.
Yeah, you have to do a cold shower tomorrow.
You've got to do it. I'll cold shower tomorrow. I'll do it today.
And Sass has to video it.
I'm already wet.
I'll just go back and do it as soon as I get back.
And then I'll change.
Okay.
Into more of Nick's clothes.
Maybe your boy Maresh's jersey.
Well, you've got to wear a bathing suit.
I'm not sitting in there.
No, bro.
You're going to look at my penis.
I'm not looking at your dick, bro.
It's going to be shrink.
Bro, you're kind of being a coward right now.
We're never doing the podcast.
You guys put podcasts together and you've never seen
each other's dicks? No.
He hasn't seen mine.
The age gap is too off. Are you serious?
I caught him one time.
Caught him what?
He was in the podcast room beating off.
That was today
before we recorded.
It's an all glass room too.
You backhand? Yeah. It really gets me in the too. You're a big backhand? Yeah.
It really gets me in the zone.
I feel like I'm one with the podcast.
One with the microphone.
What's up, everybody?
Fuck yeah. What else is on the
tap for this week? What else are we doing this week?
We got guests aplenty.
Are you bringing
guests, Nick? We do have guests.
Yeah, maybe Nico tomorrow and Deco?
Maybe Nico and Deco.
Where's Deco at?
I thought Deco's in the mines.
I thought he was back in West Virginia.
Nah, Deco lives here.
He does?
Deco's Deco's manager.
I didn't know that.
So where's Deco?
Deco was here.
Deco's busy.
He was managing.
Why is Deco busy?
He's in West Virginia.
Keep home.
Nah, Deco's here.
He sent me a text.
He said, I smell you in my city.
I didn't respond. I didn't tell him
I was coming.
Where are you going, Sass? See you, Sass.
See you, buddy.
There's a cool one right there. What do you want?
Do these have air bottoms?
They wick. I'll be honest.
Yeah? They wick? That's good.
Yeah, they're getting lighter already.
But this has hay on it now. Oh, that's good. Yeah, they're getting lighter already, but this has hay on it now. It's fucked
Yeah, I feel like we get the theme enough to where we don't need a bunch of loose hay on stage
I thought it was a dressing thing. I thought it was a dip-based restaurant. It was condiment-based.
What do I know, though?
What do you know?
I'm a car carrier.
It's hard to find ranch dressing out here, though.
Is it?
And in New York.
It's a, yeah.
It's scary.
That food looks good.
It's a supply chain issue.
Oh, have you been asking for s'mores?
Those sweet potato fries?
I haven't had to order anywhere.
Come on, bro.
You've got to order for me at a now.
They have them here.
Yeah, they have them here. Oh, do you have got to order for me at a now. That's here. Yeah.
They have them here.
Oh.
That's regular.
So let's get s'mores.
Huh.
You can drink beer if you pour it all over your s'mores and eat just a sloppy s'more.
That's eating beer.
Yeah.
You can do that.
All right.
I think that's legal.
And B, can you order me some sweet potato fries?
Yeah.
No, you order me some.
Thanks. She has them. She's offering you. You some sweet potato fries? Yeah. No, order me some. Thanks.
She has them.
She's offering you.
You want your own plate?
No, I'm not going to take yours.
Dude, Brandon, what was up with you being in first class on the way out here?
What the fuck?
What the fuck was that all about?
This guy's fucking me up in the second row with his sunglasses on.
The sun has been down for 15 minutes.
He looks like a racist avatar.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
Take them all.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, Brandon.
What happened there?
They gave me an upgrade.
But your sister books the travel.
What?
Your sister books the travel.
Oh, that's interesting.
No, Justin.
No, no.
Justin booked my travel.
Hoping that Dave is not listening.
Justin booked it.
You did book my travel.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
You booked my travel. Brandon's not true. That's not true. You booked my trip.
Brandon doesn't know anyone's name.
Why did Brandon get first class?
I paid for it.
I paid for it.
You didn't pay for it.
I said one time I'm going out to LA.
You're going to pay for it when Dave finds out you pulled that move.
I paid for it.
Oh, and what did you say about nepotism?
Oh, yeah, you guys put. I paid for it. Oh, and what did you say about nepotism? Oh, yeah, you guys
put the tism in it.
Thank you.
That was lovely. It cost me $600.
I paid for it. It was nice. You paid for it?
I paid for it. I watched the last duel.
Ron told me to watch the last duel.
It was fine. What? It was okay.
Did you lay down? I did lay down
and I actually didn't watch the last duel on my TV.
The girl across the aisle was watching it with captions on, and I watched it on her TV.
Yeah, why is it 100 times more entertaining to watch a movie off of someone else's screen?
I watched two movies.
I watched that and Dear Evan something.
Holy shit, Brandon.
Look at that.
Wait, that's a musical, isn't it?
You watch the closed captions of a musical.
It's a musical. It had the notes.
It had the musical notes.
You knew what they were.
It had the note emojis.
I thought it was pretty good.
And you had your own headphones.
You could have watched.
Look at this bitch.
I was watching The Office season two, but I got bored of it.
And I looked over and she was watching The Last Duel and Matt Damon was in it.
And I was like, oh, I want to watch that.
Wait, did yours go fully recumbent to a full bed or was it just
leaning back a little bit? No, it goes
fully recumbent, but I couldn't, my feet,
I was too long for it.
So I could only go back about three quarters. That's so embarrassing.
Yeah, it was awful. That is. And I can't
sleep on an airplane. I don't know why I spent the $600.
Why? I can't sleep on an airplane.
Do you still skull fuck airlines?
Yeah. I paid $40
for Wi-Fi., didn't get anything?
Oh, I did too.
Okay.
Can we do something?
You've lost your battle.
I can't complain.
I can't complain.
The whole point is I can't complain.
So Owen has to complain.
You have to complain, but you don't have a blue check mark.
And he'll come in backing you up, so I can't help you.
KB, are you checked out?
Six-hour flight with no Wi-Fi.
Are you checked out?
What do you mean?
Do you have a check mark?
Yes.
So complain for Owen about it.
KB just got lost.
You can't think about Kratom.
You can't do another show without being on Kratom.
Let me get high.
You're not in your zone, bro.
Fuck.
What does it do to you?
You get pilled out.
He's so funny on it.
Or do you get fucking intense when you're on it?
He's so funny on it.
Your pupils are way too big right now.
It's disconcerting.
You feel love right now.
I see it in your eyes.
Boys.
You're going to be so red by the end of this week, too.
Is your mom still watching these later ones?
The tanning, I have to find a different one.
Why?
She's very mad at me.
You just peed for a whole month.
I know.
Why was she mad?
I said I wanted to look as bad as possible.
She got offended by it.
It was her tanning spot. Why was she more offended by it? She didn't like the way I referred to it as a punishment, and I wanted to look as bad as possible. She got offended by it. It was her tanning spot.
What was she more offended by?
She didn't like the way I referred to it as a punishment,
and I wanted to look bad.
Why are you being so honest with these people?
Because I didn't want to come in every day
and make her think that's how I am.
Who cares?
Are you into her?
Yes.
Who are you more into, her or when you were with Sophia?
With an F.
Franklin?
Yeah.
When?
Nobody knows about that.
Shut the fuck up.
Let's just say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to put you on blast.
This looks like a dick-sucking euphoria.
Your nipples are crazy.
Yeah, you got big fat nipples.
You do. You got big fat nipples are crazy. Yeah, you got big fat nipples. Dude.
No, no.
You do.
You got big fat nipples.
It looked like a hot water.
As someone who has those nipples, something's wrong with you.
They don't look, they're not that big.
No, those are big.
No, they are.
Yes, they are.
They're like very oblong in there.
No.
Getting your dick sucked in euphoria.
It looked like belly.
You look like you're in the Nog movie.
So I wore my underwear.
Are you supposed to do that?
I think so.
I've never been to a tanning bed.
It would be weird to be buck naked, right?
Unless you're with a honey.
You could probably go in with a honey buck naked.
So you've got to go back there tomorrow.
Yeah.
Would a spray tan show more?
Yes.
Would it make you tan?
It would be tan by the end.
How long did you go?
Ten minutes?
She let me do eight.
She was very mean.
What did she do?
She let you do eight.
I said I want to get the darkest possible.
She said no, eight is the limit.
What?
For you.
She said my skin was too fair.
Oh. So what if you go back tomorrow and she's my skin was too fair. Oh.
So what if you go back tomorrow and she's like no, no more.
Yeah, record this conversation.
There's no way you won't
bubble.
Going tanning makes you red. Spray tan
makes you orange.
Oh, that's just your ass.
That's a picture of your butt.
Show the tan line.
It's like red. Oh, what the fuck? That's a picture of your butt. Yeah, to show the tan line. Let me see. It's like red in the sun.
Oh, what the fuck?
He just does your ass.
You just wipe too hard.
Yeah, wipe your ass.
He just wipes your ass.
He just wipes your ass.
His ass is red.
Doesn't that look like the dumb-ass bottle where the duck is from the tanning bin?
No.
No, you're wiping too hard.
You're dumping your ass out, bro.
Yes, I have rectal itch from wiping too hard.
Ever since we lost dude wipes, he's been a mess. You're dumping your ass out, bro. Yes, I have rectal itch from wiping too much. Ever since we lost Dude Wipes, he's been a mess.
He's got the whole idea.
Yeah.
Why is there shit up there?
It's one red streak right down his ass crack.
You don't trust me?
Send it to me.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. It's just the crack. Did you post that?
I don't want to get, don't post it because they're going to come at me.
It was just on stream.
Oh my God. They have the perfect angle.
Do you want the fellas coming at you?
For what?
They're like the dudes in the replies.
Yeah, fellas.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right about that.
After they zoom in on your ass. He's got a red crack. It's not a good look. That's on them. It looks like a canyon on Mars. Yeah, fellas. You're right. You're right about that.
He's got a red crack.
It's not a good look.
It looks like a canyon on Mars.
It's just disgusting.
I'm sorry, bro.
I'm lashing out, bro.
I'm lashing out because I'm wet.
I know, it sucks.
I'm in a bad spot right now.
Do we have subscribe?
I'm not.
No, he's not dry.
I'm not dry at all. No, you's not dry. I'm not dry at all.
No, you're not dry at all.
How many?
Brandon, never do that again.
Stop.
All right, so we need more people.
Go subscribe.
If we get to 53, we will spin it again.
Wheels.
Let's do another wheel.
Let's do some kind of wheel.
Let's do a wheel to figure out what we're doing a wheel about.
Let's find out.
All the people with a mystery ball, that person, ah.
Ah. Because then it ruins the mystery. a mystery ball. That person, ah.
Because then it ruins the mystery.
What can we wheel?
Damn.
What can we wheel? We may be a solid 30 minutes without wet wheeling.
Anybody got a wheel idea?
Anybody want to shave?
Get it in the chat.
Slow beer, fast beer.
We don't have bananas.
Slow cock, fast cock. Slow cock, fast cock.
I like turning yourself in as a shoplifter.
I like turning yourself in.
But what do we do now?
Turning yourself in as a shoplifter is funny.
Do they have bananas foster on the menu?
I bet they do.
Well, they have s'mores.
I would assume they have bananas foster.
Yeah.
No, I'm saying turn yourself in as a shoplifter.
And then what?
Right now?
We have to have it filmed. Yeah, how are we going to do that? Are we just turning ourselves in as a shoplifter. And then what? Right now? We have to have it filmed.
Are we actually stealing or are we just turning ourselves in as a shoplifter?
Either one.
So what do you go?
What about we spin a wheel and the loser has to go get hit by a car?
Yeah, that works.
That's realistic because it's right here.
It's right here.
Bryce Hall just walked in.
Yeah, there's a lot of famous people.
Bryce Hall just walked in.
Bryce, you're fucking legend.
Come get a pic with Bryce now if you want to.
He'll be on stage in a second.
It's crazy that he's 5'4 in person.
Yeah.
I would have thought he was 6.
Yeah.
Wait, it's got to be awkward with him and Sass in the same building.
Yeah.
What is the?
Nothing.
Oh, wait, is that Taylor Holder over there?
Who?
No, I'm just kidding.
He's got platform vans on it.
Got a lot of fat people.
I want one of these famous TikTokers to just be wearing Kyle's exact fit.
What the fuck?
Like when he sat next to Dave.
What's next to him with the exact fit?
Do you have new clothes for tomorrow?
No, I'm going to go get a new fit.
You look like Kyle.
I'm going to get a new fit every day.
You should.
You're going to spend so much money.
So I went to a tattoo slash piercer, tried to get gauges, and they wouldn't let me.
Kyle, are you just going to do that?
What do you mean?
You're expecting to, like, hole punch you?
They said you need to get them pierced first.
I thought you could just get them.
It's like a very slow process, right?
You want to go get your neck stretched?
They went to a bunch of places today and had people be like, no, you can't do this.
You went to the tanning salon, they're like, no, eight minutes.
What were you doing?
Did you definitely do all that?
You must have awful vibes.
You just walked into the store
and they're like, get out.
Whatever you're about to say now.
How would you explain it?
Like, I have to do a punishment
for the show?
What are you doing?
You're not going to explain it.
You're not going to explain stuff
everywhere you go.
It doesn't make sense.
You should have seen me.
The girls, they're all attainable girls.
Stop trying to attain them.
I don't want to ruin it.
Stop trying to attain them. You're not going to attain them. The hot topic girl and the tanning salon girl. Both very attainable. Very attainable girls. So I don't want to ruin it. You're not going to attain them.
The hot topic girl and the tanning salon girl.
They're not attainable.
And you blew it.
They weren't busty petites.
They were flat petites.
They were flat petites.
Dude, I was rollerblading
in this family neighborhood.
That's such a creep.
Someone say it.
Dude, I was rollerblading.
I was going to say how it was awkward for me, too.
I wish I could have explained and been like, yeah, it's a challenge.
There's, like, a group.
There's, like, all these, like, moms walking through with their dogs.
And I'm sitting there, like, setting up my camera, smoking a cigarette, like, stumbling around on rollerblades stumbling around you were going so fast no I sped that up a lot barely moving in that video
dude how do people post like tiktoks like that all the time when you put your phone down
run it again run it again run it again, run it again, run it again.
Oh, man.
Wait, wait.
Can you pause him the second he has the cigarette in his mouth?
Are you good enough?
You're a gamer.
It's hard to catch me.
You're moving so goddamn fast.
You look so cool.
Dude, I thought it was going to look so sick.
I was imagining myself flying around the corner.
Smoke everywhere.
And I couldn't even see the cigarette. You had to set up your camera.
Yeah.
Where did you get the rollerblades?
I had to go to some sporting goods store.
Are you going to be a blader now?
I'm pretty good, but I almost caught an edge while I was going downhill.
It scared the fuck out of me, and I was like, I'm done.
I was like, this is over.
You said you weren't going to go hills.
I thought we were bombing hills, bro.
Let's bomb.
I was bombing hills.
Let's bomb hills.
I bombed one hill, and then I had to go up it, and it was too much of a pain in the ass,
so I was like, I'm not doing that anymore.
What's the shaky wheels you could get on a skateboard?
You came in with no teeth.
I was thinking if I fell in the video,
it would be hilarious.
Can you speed wobble on blades?
A little bit, because your ankles.
My ankles aren't strong.
How hard is that? It's pretty easy, right?
To do what? With the ankle weights.
Oh, it's fine. Yeah, it's not bad at all.
You're going to be sore in the morning.
Yeah, you better wear them with
barricades. What's the point?
Chop your legs then. Chop your knees. Do high knees.
I'm not going to do that, but I just...
I've been wearing them all day.
You're not going to 10X at any turn.
What did Charlie Puth do?
I went walking
and I walked about a half mile that way and a half mile that way.
I walked about a mile. Did you and a half mile that way. Did
you stuff these? No. Why would I stuff them? There's just napkins in here. Brandon, what
the fuck? He's got Slim Jims in there. He's got a chip toy saw. Very heavy weight. Look.
Let me hold it. This is fucking so light. Let me see. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. Drop
it. Oh, yeah. Look. Drop it. Are you serious? That's so light. Bull me see. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. Oh, yeah, look.
Drop it.
Are you serious?
That's bullshit, dude.
Dude, there's nothing in those.
Everyone else is going 10x, and you're just bullshitting around.
Come on, Brandon.
Whoa.
Oh.
Come on, man.
That wasn't loud.
That wasn't loud either.
They're heavy.
Clearly a two-pound pair.
I just stomped my foot.
Look, it says one-pound pair.
Oh, you've got to hang on the inside of those now.
Oh, that's...
And you're putting them on inside out, aren't you?
Probably.
Okay.
So, Brandon, how did you get your sister to buy you first class?
I...
Oh, God damn it.
I just wet up his ankle weight a little bit.
I didn't.
I paid $600 to have a once-in-a-lifetime first-class experience, and I did, and... Once-in-a-lifetime? Have you flown on first class before? Yeah, but... Once-in-a-lifetime first-class experience, and I did.
Once-in-a-lifetime? Have you flown on first-class before?
Once-in-a-lifetime.
Once-in-a-lifetime.
You were like, you're not even close to 10X.
The fact that you think that you'll never attain first class.
Well, not for six hours.
I'm not going to fly six hours.
You're a fucking joke.
You're 2X at best.
I'm 10X.
And you got hay in your ankle weights, Brandon.
Yeah, there we go. How are you going to beX. And you got hay in your ankle weights, Brandon. Yeah, there we go.
How are you going to be a city slicker with hay in your ankle weights?
Have you got any looks with those things on?
You can't take the country out of the board now.
Yeah, there was a guy last night that really stared me down.
Where at?
I was just walking outside the hotel, and I really thought,
I don't know if he thought it was stolen valor.
I don't know what it was.
What?
I'm trying to look like a workout guy.
Stolen valor for what?
Like a workout guy?
Trying to be a workout guy or something?
I'm clearly fat.
I don't know what he thought it was.
Okay, B.
He was very angry at me.
Ankle weight, stolen valor?
I got it.
Come on.
You sure?
Stop, bro.
Oh, you don't want any?
I'm ethical.
Oh.
What's the sauce taste like?
Can I get some?
You can't eat the sauce.
It looks like a fucking marshmallow-based sausage.
Oh, fuck.
Aioli?
Is that an aioli?
Oh, fuck.
Yo, sour ranch is so fucking bad.
It's right here, I think.
No, I don't want any of those.
I'm okay.
How is it, Brandon?
So, the Super Bowl.
I fucking love football, man.
Dude, the best. Duke's losing right now. Are football, man. Dude. The best.
Duke's losing right now.
Are they?
Yeah.
You probably bet them.
Like an idiot.
I didn't.
Like an idiot.
I only bet NBA tonight.
Oh!
Doesn't bother me.
Everything he does is intentional.
It is.
Who?
You.
Me?
We had a meeting behind your back to catch you cheating on any of your tasks.
How are you going to do that?
Catch you?
Because I'm not going to cheat.
We have a room key.
But how are you going to catch me cheating?
You're not going to cheat?
No.
All right.
My ethics are out of control.
We have ethics.
You're out of control.
Yeah, I was waiting for the text.
He's a madman.
His ethics and morals are off the shelf.
There are no any bros that are more ethical than me, bro. Bro, you need to relax. I was waiting for the text. He's a mad guy. His ethics and morals are off the shelf.
There are no any bros that are more ethical than me, bro.
Bro, you need to relax.
My ethics are out of control.
I come from a long line of ethicists.
I was waiting for you to text me all morning to be like, hey, I'm about to shower.
I didn't get anything. No, you weren't, bro.
You would have been fucking there.
I woke up at 6 a.m. today.
Can we get a Nick bathroom shotgun cam?
Have you been shotgunning in the bathroom?
Well, he's got to drink quickly.
I usually go get a beer.
How do we know that you're not just drinking in your hotel room?
I'm being honest.
I'm like chugging a water bottle.
Why do you get the benefit of the doubt when you guys are having fucking closed-door meetings on how to sabotage me?
I'm not trying to sabotage you.
No, we're not.
But why does Nick get the benefit of the doubt. Let's have a closed-door
meeting about Nick, fellas.
In a full Lakers uniform.
And I in his clothes.
Fully wet.
People are starting to
get suspicious. I know. I can tell that.
I got your back.
No, I always got your back. Woe betide the suspicious ones.
What's going on out here? I know that boy Bryce
would never fucking get suspicious. Shot at tequila. There your back, though. Woe betide the suspicious ones. What's going on out here? I know my boy Bryce would never fucking get suspicious.
Yo, shut up, Bryce.
Shot at tequila.
There's Josh, too.
Let's rip some shots, boys.
Hell yeah.
There's some whole gangs here, bro.
Let's go, bro.
Fucking rip some shots.
Love it.
Can't believe Sway died, though, bro.
What?
How old is it?
Yo, chill.
Oh, the house.
Yeah, not in the morning.
What's good with Taylor?
Not in the morning.
Sway died in the house. Yeah, not in the morning. What's good with Taylor? Not in the morning. Sway died in the morning.
They're morning sway right now.
They're morning sway.
Morning.
Oh, hell yeah.
Look.
Oh, no.
Don't do it.
No, no.
Slow down.
You're going to get demonetized.
We just got demonetized.
Don't demonetize us, dude.
Good technique, though. Who was that? That was Bryce. That was Bryce. I knew that.'t demonetize us, dude. Good technique, though.
Who was that?
That was Bryce.
That was Bryce.
I knew that.
Of course you knew that, brother.
Hell, yes.
A little Radio Wars.
Nothing like the Radio Wars.
Dude, I can't believe Charlie Puth is standing in our hotel.
Yeah.
I just saw him in there just fucking rolling around.
You see him?
The whole poof?
Yeah.
Just chill him by the pool, bro. You swear? Yes, bro. He just maxed out by the pool. You swear? Bro, wow. The whole poof? Just chillin' by the pool, bro.
You swear?
Yes, bro.
You swear?
The whole poof?
Yes, bro.
Poof is out there, bro.
It's LA.
It's just a random LA night.
What, are you second-handed him?
No, he's trying to burn me.
Why the fuck would I be trying to burn you?
You had to get first right by my knee.
I feel like we're going to smoke cigarettes.
Probably throw them on a set with hay.
We will.
The most flammable thing.
What's the scene in the bar?
There's a bull.
Oh, yeah.
Wheel for the bull?
Brandon, you want to ride the bull?
Wheel for the bull.
Wheel for the bull.
Wheel for the bull. All right. for the bull. Wheel for the bull. Wheel for the bull.
All right.
So we need Jeff D. Lowe.
Is he still here?
Jeff D. Lowe's got to get the zoom up again.
I think he's over there.
We're going to do a bull wheel.
Bull wheel.
All right, Jeff.
Wheel for the bull.
It should be a wet bull.
A wet bull.
A wet juice.
All right, here we go.
You got to ask the bartender to get you wet.
With the juice gone.
No, the fruit punch.
Can you make sure the bowl is operational and open?
I'm going to lose this.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where's Julio?
You'll see the bowl.
Oh.
What's your name? Ash. Where's Julio? You'll see the bull wheel. What's your name?
Ash.
That's some California shit, bro.
That's some extreme California shit.
Bull wheel.
You should be on the wheel.
This is for the bull wheel.
Does she know this is the Juice is Wild bull wheel? I don't know.
She doesn't care.
She's ready. Let's go. She's not scared at all.
Question. If I draw this,
do y'all have to carry me to it?
No.
To and from stage
at the end of the show.
It's at the beginning and end of the show.
It's at the beginning and end.
You guys know there's some...
Dude, we could throw you into the crowd
and let Ash catch him.
You were so...
Alright, here we go.
That should have been me.
Tomorrow,
two
wet wheels?
Yeah.
Okay.
Can we get a pen?
Whoever loses has to sign the waiver.
Shout out to Evelyn. Shout out Devlin.
We'll sign it in blood.
Shout out Riggs.
Devlin, we need a pen.
Thank you.
Rone is out.
No!
No!
Fuck you!
Oh my god.
No pen!
It's hard to even imagine a wet bull ride.
KB will do this sexily.
Oh god.
Well, he's not going to do it.
KB's going to be fucked.
That's like the first time KB ever came was on a bull.
Yeah, it was.
He did.
It was the second time.
Bull wheel.
It was the second time, KB?
Shut the fuck up
Your ear is bleeding
Bleeding?
Someone's talking about him
Where'd my earring go?
Don't mind if I do
Everyone just chill on PB
He's trying to pick up ass later
Oh fuck
If Roan has to do this,
it is truly unjust.
There you go.
Roan!
Ah!
Fuck you.
I needed a win.
I needed a win.
You needed a win.
A wet ball.
You needed a win.
Wet ball would be bad.
Wet ball would...
But this juice is wild.
This juice is wild.
Wet ball.
Ah!
Fuck!
Brave.
All right. Wait, let's just stop it. This is wild It's a bull right it's a bull all right here we go
Come on.
Fuck.
The wet pool gets you wins.
God damn it.
God damn it.
Let's go, Brandon.
With the ankle weights?
You'll never get a third every single time. Here we go.
I gotta pee now.
Fuck.
I'm nervous.
Didn't you pee when you were at this pool?
No, I peed before.
Piss on Nick so we can have a beer
I got it
Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme
It is a wet bowl right?
Yes
No we peed
Wet bowl
It's a wet bowl
I did wild
I fucked up
I didn't realize what you were saying
No you peed
No you heard this
I thought you said it was a
I thought you said it was a bet bowl.
And I was like, what do you mean a bet bowl?
It's a wet bowl.
Can I just point something out?
An ice bowl. You put the ice in your underwear.
You guys are going to have to carry me at the end of the show.
Yeah.
Do you want me soaking ass wet on your shoulders?
I don't care.
The world is just.
I'm sure you guys want to go best of three.
Best of seven.
This isn't even that bad. seven. This is even that bad.
The Seltzer gun.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. The Seltzer gun.
Seltzer gun. What are you doing?
Sign it, bro.
Sign it before we dump it on you.
Everybody, you've got to go
around and sign the picture.
Sign it up, bro.
See if we can get Josh to sign
it too.
Okay. One's go.
Sass is up one.
Okay. One-nothing.
Saturday.
It's Saturday.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
One to one.
This isn't working. This is a reset.
This isn't working.
It's a reset.
They're right between Brandon.
You got fans out here, Brandon.
Let's go, Brandon.
They want to see status.
We're waiting.
No.
Status up a little bit.
No.
No.
All right.
Two-one.
Status.
Right.
It's going to be like.
Yeah.
Oh! 2-2. 2-2. Yeah.
Oh, two, two.
Two, two, two.
Two, two.
Let's go.
Come on, Sam.
No.
No.
That's the point right there.
That's the point.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What? One more line and that's that. One. Yeah. one. Whoa. One more.
One more.
Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Come on.
That's the way it's done.
Goal.
Oh.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time.
Time. Time. Time. Time. Time literally everything. Why are you smoking? Juice is wild, bull.
I don't know.
Does anything matter?
All right.
Spin it.
Spin it.
This is for everything.
All right.
Sprint.
Wet bull.
Wet bull.
Wet bull.
All right.
We know. You have to get wet. You got to go. Simon. Simon. Simon. Wet pool. Wet pool. Wet pool. Alright, we go.
You have to get wet.
You got to go get sprinted by the...
The seltzer gun.
The seltzer gun.
Get a video on him.
With the juice.
His juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Juice is wild.
Fruit punch.
You need the fruit punch.
His juice is wild.
Oh, I love juice is wild.
KB, bro, he's crazy.
KB's crazy, bro. Where'd you come up with this
shit, bro?
You have beautiful minds, Kyle.
You gotta be freezing.
It's so uncomfortable.
These are starting to be bad.
What's your cigarette count?
Six.
Nine.
That's cap, bro.
I had six
before. I can count them for you've been four? I had six before.
I don't know, bro.
I can count them for you guys.
Can you?
Your voice progressively during the week.
It's going to be hilarious.
I know.
Oh, yeah.
He's going to be a man when this is over.
You are.
We should just dump Brandon off the stage, by the way.
Yeah.
I have 11.
What's stopping us from dropping him?
He'll get really hurt.
That's a good point.
He can get very hurt.
He's fragile.
Like life-changing injuries. He'll complain to no end. He'll get really hurt. That's a good point. He can very hurt. He's fragile. Like life-changing injuries.
He'll complain to no end.
He'll probably try to sue the company.
Look, Pete thinks his job is done.
Yeah, he just dapped him up.
Yeah, Pete thinks his job is done.
I hope something breaks right now.
Yeah.
Let's all throw our mic packs on the count of three.
Yeah?
One.
One.
Okay, you were ready.
I just don't like me getting really happy.
Brandon signed a wafer, though.
It bothers me.
There's a bus here?
Someone should have to get on a bus.
What, the speed?
Someone has to be on a bus in LA?
Go, go, go, go.
Give me change.
How long do you think this microphone lasts?
Can we test the distance?
You're a little wild.
What?
Flip it, Jeff.
Flip it, Jeff D.
Jeff D, flip it around.
Oh, he's trying to orientate.
He's trying to orientate.
Orientate, Jeff.
Orientate, Jeff.
He's trying to not show Olympic coverage.
He's not showing Olympic coverage.
That's actually smart.
Or 200 IQ.
It's fucking stupid.
Can we flip it?
Can we flip him?
Flip the camera.
Flip it.
All right, everyone, turn your computer monitors.
Yep, everyone.
We should do a whole segment where people have to wall stand,
head stand, what is it called?
Crossfit or whatever.
Duke's about to lose.
Fuck yes.
Love that. Brandon's going to look
so good on that.
This is the role he was born to play.
I think the ankle weights are going to help him.
That's what I think is going to keep him down.
If he hooks his legs around with the ankle weights,
it's a cheat code.
If he's good at this, he's going to be insufferable.
He already is.
He's already a terrible person to be around.
The fuck?
The fuck?
Jeff, what's going on?
Oh, he took a piss.
Oh.
Not wet.
Not wet.
Not wet at all.
Brandon.
Brandon.
I think the worst part about Brandon is he thinks he looks awesome right now.
Wait, you have to get wet?
Bothers me.
He looks better than he typically does. Yeah, that have to get wet? It bothers me. He looks better
than he typically does.
Yeah, that's true.
He should dump some new AC on himself.
We wet his...
He definitely does look awesome.
He looks awesome right now.
That actually negated the one comment.
What else do you got? Anything else?
Oh, that's loud.
All right.
Takis? Absolutely. Takis are delicious. else? Oh, that's loud. Alright. You have some vodka, takis,
have a taki? Absolutely.
Takis are delicious.
Fuego.
Oh yeah, we have the wood body wash in our hotel.
Feels great. Dude, I almost want to break fast and have a taki, but I
won't do it. Perfect. Put that right there.
Have one. Oh, they're so good.
Will you pass me a couple?
Yeah, of course.
Make sure that's right in front of the camera.
Perfect.
Alright, so tomorrow
we have your guys. Are you guys going to do stand-up tonight?
Good brother. We can't put that lamp there.
I don't think we can put that lamp there.
There's an open mic at 7.
So you've got to go right away.
Well, we've got to memorize something.
I know. Definitely can't put that lamp there, brother.
So you guys are not gonna do it.
Tomorrow evening, memorize it.
Tomorrow during the day or tomorrow?
Any time tomorrow, I can memorize it.
Wait, is he getting help? I want him to sit on it
to the side.
Like a lady.
I hope his legs hit him in the face
because he has the weight.
He knocks himself out.
All right, I love you.
Here we go.
All right, Brandon.
So far, so good.
He's having a lot of fun.
Oh, boy.
He's so bottomed.
He's such a liar.
No. Go again Again
Go up again
Get back on that horse
Get knocked down
Literally
Seven times
Get back up eight
He's got a chumbawamba right now
I know he's had some whiskey drinks
Hey, hey, hey
You gotta go again
You gotta go again
They said go again
They said go again
We didn't catch it
Yeah, out of voice
We didn't see it
We didn't see it Jack is on his ass Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, like punishment punishment why are you walking out like McMahon yeah it's our Come on, Brandon. Come on, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon.
Let's go, Brandon.
Good chant.
Good chant.
That was a good chant.
Come on, Brandon.
How many times do you think we can get him to do this?
At least three more.
He was genuinely angry.
Well, he didn't get juiced as wild.
There was no juice on him.
No.
Huh.
He's stocking.
He's eyeing it up.
Yeah, he has zero juice.
Now he's coming back with a little anger in him, so I think he might have a better chance to get hurt.
We got to keep going until he throws something, tears something, or dislocates something.
Until he can't go to dinner with Baron Davis.
I want him to do a full flip.
Off the front.
What is he doing?
He's getting off. What happened? This guy stinks. What is he doing? He's getting off.
What happened? This guy stinks.
What's it say?
Oh, boo.
Does he have
a boo-boo?
Are they making him take the weights off?
No, I think he's got one of those
when he gets those cramps.
You want any more wet?
He's just signed another waiver?
He's just signed another waiver? You want any more wet? You want to be wet? He's to sign another waiver? He's to sign another waiver?
Yeah, dude.
This place is above board.
If you want his autograph, just ask.
They take their bulls serious. Fuck.
He really had to sign another waiver.
That's crazy.
Put your social security on there.
Yeah, zoom in on that tight.
Get that DOB in the last four.
We got Jersey Jerry.
Tell Brandon if he doesn't go for at least a minute,
he has to run it again.
Yep.
Yeah.
My boy's going 3.7 on a horse named Fu Manchu.
What was that, TV?
He's got a...
He's doing Meet Virginia.
Yeah, you were.
You were still on Meet Virginia.
You were just singing trains.
I didn't sing shit.
Put the mic closer.
No, I fucking did.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were.
You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. You were. I don't know what he wants. She lived this life.
And she is still about her life.
And her head has been slain.
Is that right?
I don't really want to be there. Is he about to go?
Yeah, he's about to go.
Yeah, he is.
All right, Brandon.
Daddy wrestles alligators.
Can you also jump? You can do it. Oh! Oh! Yeah, he is. Me, Virginia. Daddy wrestles alligators.
Can you also jump?
You got the two.
Oh!
That was great.
Yeah, I'll give him that one.
Oh, boy.
Oh!
Okay.
Fuck them all.
One big slur.
Go, man.
Go!
One hand up.
One hand up. One hand up, cowboy.
Two hands!
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes. They're trying to put him over the horns, too. Put him over the horns.
That's like a...
That was another...
We couldn't see it.
Did you guys see that?
I didn't see the end.
Run it back.
Run it back.
I didn't see the end.
Run it back.
Do it again.
We should just get a stack of waivers for him
so he's always...
Just a stack of waivers.
He's always compliant.
They didn't say it.
They didn't say it.
Just sign him like...
We barely saw that one, Brandon.
Johnny Manziel with the fucking helmet, dude.
He'd just be rattling off a bunch of waivers all at once.
He was hardly wet.
He was hard.
Maybe not wet at all.
I don't want to say the D word.
They didn't just say go again.
Lulu's real dry out there.
Oh, shit.
Is he hurt? Hopefully. Is he hurt?
Wait, is he hurt? He's laughing.
He's acting hurt.
Yeah, look at this. This is a big... Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, he's going to a knee?
This is such bullshit.
Wait, what the fuck is this?
Bullshit.
He just went down.
Oh, he's going to have the mints walk out of the casino.
Alright, so when is Brandon going to go for his second time?
Because we've only seen one.
We saw one.
Yeah, so the wheel decides two, right?
We have not seen Brandon go his second time yet.
Run it back.
Can someone tell him that we didn't get to see him a second time?
He's got to go back out there and do the second one.
He said he was doing two, right?
Oh, he's not coming.
He's not showing himself.
Oh, he won't show himself.
Wait, is he going an alternate way?
This is like a...
He's doing like a wrestling intro.
Braylon, you've got to burn him in.
Did you hurt yourself?
It's not like it's going to work.
He's like, you're not even wet.
All right, do one wheel.
One wheel.
No!
One wheel.
One wheel.
Yes or no?
Whether Brandon does it again or not.
Don't you guys want to see Brandon do one more wheel?
They do!
They want you to do it, dude.
The wheel is just.
Why are we acting like this is prison?
This is like a fun thing.
TJ, just one option.
Brandon rides, but Brandon doesn't.
Yes.
I'm not fucking coming back.
No, you didn't. You don't know what that is. You are not holding your hand She's entitled. I'm not fucking going back. I hurt my hamstrings.
No, you didn't.
Hamstrings. You don't know what that is.
You are not holding your hamstrings.
I tightened my.
Tighten your what?
Tighten your what?
Tighten your what?
I tightened my hamstrings to hold on, and I hurt my hamstrings.
That's not your hamstrings.
I hurt my hamstrings.
Look at my.
Look how red my thighs are.
They're not red at all.
Let me see.
KB, be a test for what resolution.
Yeah, KB, show the job of your ass crack again. Yeah, we need a pallet. Can we get pants Let me see. KB, be a test for what resolution you're getting.
KB, show the drop of your ass.
Can we pants him?
Can you show your asshole?
You look like a proboscis monkey.
Your big ass nose and red ass.
Damn, bro.
He's a real red ass.
He's like an intellectual skater.
TJ, what are we at for the
Yak YouTube? We have three minutes
left. We're going to end in three minutes and let
Dave and Brianna
52-5.
50 what? 52-5.
Oh, people are slacking.
We should probably spin again just in case.
I just want to see. Sash, just do it.
The ball? Something.
We're going to end the show in two minutes.
I think we should spin one more for the 5K.
No, I'm going to spin for the bull.
Because we'll get the 1,000.
Yeah, yeah.
We don't have time to do the bull because it's the outside wave.
What's the 5K?
Me and you right now.
Okay.
Let's spin one last time to end the show.
Someone's added to the 5K on Thursday.
This is a selection wheel, not an elimination wheel.
Selection wheel, not an elimination wheel.
Are we adding a civilian?
Yeah, we're going to add Ash.
Ash isn't running a 5K.
She's not running a 5K.
With our fat asses.
Maybe Billy could run that.
Then we'll say we'll end the show.
We got BFFs coming up.
What?
KB is off the wheel.
Me and KB are off the wheel because we're already running.
Where's all my Kareem fans at?
Yo!
Where's my Ream fans?
Kareem fans.
Reamsters.
KB's penis is a phoenix because it's rising from ash.
Oh, no!
God damn. KB's penis is a phoenix because it's rising from ash. Oh, no. Ew.
Dang.
Oh, man.
God damn.
God damn.
When she wants to be her queen.
I'm doing that shit, KB.
5K wheel.
Shout out to that chat.
And this is just the first person?
Winner takes all.
We'll see everyone tomorrow at 4 to 6.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Brain.
Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain at 4 to 6. Oh, no. Brandon. On the road, Brandon.
Do we have a bad game today, my friend?
No.
Are you going to walk it?
Are you going to run it?
Are you going to walk it?
I'm going to do my best.
He's going to do his best.
I'm not wearing these.
I can't wear these.
What?
What?
You can roll a relay.
You can roll a relay.
What do you mean? Yeah. So we'll all do a relay. I'll do wear these. What? What? All right. You can roll the blade. You can roll the blade. What do you mean?
Yeah.
So we'll all do this last time.
I'll do my best.
Yeah.
I'm in the 5K Friday.
Thursday.
Thursday.
Yeah.
All right.
Probably not going to be on the show Thursday.
What?
Probably.
Whatever happens after the 5K, just pencil me out.
We have like six hours between the 5K and the show.
Just go ahead and scratch me out.
We're going to pencil you back in.
Scratch me out. We'll be back tomorrow. We've We're going to pet you back. Scratch me out.
We'll be back tomorrow.
We've got to carry Brandon off, though.
4 to 6 p.m. Pacific.
Yeah, get us carrying Brandon off.
We'll see everyone.
Thank you, everyone, for coming out.
Dave, Josh Richards.
Yeah.
Chicken fry coming up right after this.
That's the act.
Oh, yeah.
Watch us.
We're going to get them down.
All right.
We're going to get them down. Thank you. It's time to talk shop. We're doing it. It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you.