The Yak - WHAT'S IN THE BAG? | The Yak 11-3-22
Episode Date: November 3, 2022Nothing better than that post-NDA strokeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/b...arstoolyak
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. New shoes.
Got them today.
Look good.
Thanks.
First guy to have that style of shoe on this show.
Yeah.
I'm an innovator.
Jesus.
Yes, dude.
Fuck, dude.
I forgot to say the name of the show.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, no. Oh, dude. I thought we could have got away with it. Yes, dude. I forgot to say the name of the show. Oh, no, no.
Oh, dude, I thought we could have got away with it.
Yes, dude.
If you showed Pilgrim's 2022 audio tech, all the wires, they would be like, that's kind of lame.
That shit's dated.
Yeah.
God damn, your shit's dated as hell.
Audio pisses me off so much. There should be no wires.
You've never done it right.
Why are we doing so many wires?
There are a lot of wires.
I shouldn't have to charge my phone and MacBook every 30 minutes.
What?
What?
You don't have to.
Look at that TV over there.
What TV? TV in the corner. Charging tech. Look at that TV over there. What TV?
TV in the corner.
Charging.
Look at all of those wires in the corner.
Wires make no sense.
Look at those wires.
What could that possibly...
What's your alternative?
You want things powered by gas?
I don't know.
It just seems like it doesn't add up to the time.
I kind of would like to go the other way and have more things powered.
It doesn't coincide with other technological advancements that we have so many wires.
Audio's fell into the wayside.
I think if we hadn't really gone down nuclear energy, we'd be doing away with a lot of these wires.
I think nuclear energy could have been the way.
There's something magic about nuclear energy.
There is.
Something about it. Something powerful. I can't even begin to been the way. There's something magic about nuclear energy. There is. Something about it.
Something powerful.
I can't even begin to grasp the power.
Yeah.
I don't get it.
I've watched nuclear power for idiots,
like breakdowns of the...
And I still just don't.
What do you find for entertainment?
Me?
Rivers and nuclear power for idiots.
Hudson River.
I've watched probably every tsunami video on the
internet big rogue waves I go down big rabbit holes on rogue waves uh yeah I like not like
nature stuff what's the difference in our is just a rogue wave different from a tsunami yeah yeah
sometimes a rogue wave just comes out of nowhere on a nice day. Like there'll be people on a beach watching surfers. Look up Rogue Wave.
Oh, what's that big wave?
It is a good band.
It's that big wave surf spot out in California.
Big Sur.
Big Sur?
Big Sur, Rogue Wave, or something like that,
where people are all on the beach watching the surfers or whatever,
and the waves are pretty far away,
and then all of a sudden out of nowhere just one wave comes on like a nice day and just
fucks everybody up. Everyone's fine.
I wonder how a wave becomes a rogue wave.
It's in the rogue.
It's in the rogueness of it.
It comes out of nowhere.
I played a rogue in World of Warcraft all through high school.
A gnome rogue named Squeener.
Assassination build.
I love this stuff.
Put poison on my blades.
Hell no.
What's that?
What is that?
That's a nuclear bomb going off
behind a...
Well, this is radical, Kate.
Oh, these are bad.
These are a little depressing.
Stranded a wedding photo?
What?
Ten waves you won't believe.
They're really whipping through these.
I watch it.
We haven't seen the wave yet.
I watch a ton of these.
Are these honorable mentions?
Or is this the teaser?
Is that we're already through ten?
Okay, that was a start.
Well, Mavericks is the rogue wave I was thinking of.
Rogue wave at Mavericks when people are watching.
Anyway.
None of these look rogue.
That's not fake.
That's got to be fake.
That's fake as fuck.
Oh, fuck.
You're right. I want it to be fake. That's fake as fuck. Oh, fuck. You're right.
I wanted it to be real, though.
Brandon got pissed.
Yeah, there's people, they're just watching a surf competition.
All of a sudden, this wave comes and just fucks everybody up just out of the blue.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm into that, but I...
Aren't rogue waves typically in the middle of the ocean, too?
Yeah, they can be.
I didn't know they were like... Would a wave be rogue if it was off the shore? Aren't rogue waves typically in the middle of the ocean, too? Yeah, they can be.
I didn't know they were like... Would a wave be rogue if it was off the shore?
Yeah, I guess that's where it belongs.
Would it be an expected wave?
I don't know.
Well, every now and then...
Or if it's in the middle of the land.
The rogue just means it's a lot bigger than all the other waves, right?
Right, yeah, and out of the blue.
Of course out of the blue, it's the ocean.
That's the ocean.
Oh, that's true.
Brandon!
It's true.
Hey, look out.
Iron all cylinders.
Why is this dozen trophy in here, Roan?
You just ate some poke.
Why did you eat some poke right before?
You're right, you didn't.
I'm sorry.
Ask me.
Hey, why is this dozen trophy in here, Nick?
I don't fucking know.
Ask Roan.
Kyle, why is this dozen trophy here? I'm guessing that's the philly dozen trophy that
the yak team won and we're the act so it is that's why there's also a tuesday november 8th
at terminal 5 in new york city the dozen uh the dozen battle for new york it's going to be six
teams the yak included they'll be facing smocking in the get fucked rematch the
frank and the frankettes will be facing chicago somehow still involved and uh the experts will
be taking on the revamped and much much worse honkers does chicago look like a bizarro frank
and the frankettes they do yes wow i could yeah i'm none the wiser.
We're just them with worse vision.
But, Stephen, I put this trophy on your desk today.
The diversity isn't the greatest strength.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, I thought.
I was treating it like the Stanley Cup where we all kind of get a little bit of time with it,
but as soon as you brought it in here, you treated it like the whatever.
Our diversity on the Barstool graphic is just a guy putting on sunglasses.
Yeah.
I like that woman, though.
That's cool. There's a woman.
Got one.
Corrective lenses and polarized
lenses.
Hats.
Multiple hats.
There's a lot of future skin cancer
in that grouping.
Which one? Should I go through each group and pick? There's a lot of future skin cancer in that grouping. And present.
Which one?
Don't joke.
Should I go through each group and pick?
Or just rank of the 18, like maybe the most five most likely to have SC.
I have a scar on my tummy from where they had to go back in and get some more out.
They biopsied you?
And then I had to go back and get some more.
Was it a dysplastic compound nevi?
I don't know.
All I know is that they came back for seconds.
Did they double scoop you?
It's like Oliver Twist.
More.
More.
Oh, boy.
How do you know Oliver?
Wonderful feeling.
Oh, boy.
How do you know Oliver? them. Wonderful feeling. How do you know all of them?
Consider yourself.
Gotta pick a pocket or two.
I hated the movie.
Yeah, he is.
I loved the singing in that, but I didn't like the movie.
You liked the cockroaches served in a canister.
Yeah, it was good-ass singing.
They rhyme banister to canister.
Something about it.
Yeah, I think Asher Roth did that, too.
Yeah, but he was probably borrowing.
Spitting rippetint, yeah.
He was borrowing from Oliver Twist, dude.
He definitely had seen Oliver Twist.
Track star.
Shame Oliver Twist is a fantastic rapper name.
Yeah, Oliver Tree is like a worse version of Oliver Twist.
Yeah.
Gotta switch up his look.
I didn't like the singing in...
I think the singing in that movie really creeped me out.
Yes, yes.
It was really creeped...
The whole aesthetic of that movie was like...
It was like an audio liminal space, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I understand.
It was creepy.
And it was off-putting, even as a as a young boy yeah very off-putting but you liked it or something no
there is something appealing about the songs there's probably something like the labyrinth
yeah like one of the lines and one of the songs like slap that baby and make him pee and like as
do you remember that how weird that what is that from
it was like a Taylor Swift
the labyrinth
like all the lyrics
from those songs
in the labyrinth
are so fucking weird
but as a kid
I couldn't look away
yeah
I watched it on repeat
it's a very weird movie
trial by stone
that was scary
the trial by stone
the bog of eternal stench
trial by stone
it was like a bird
that said it
the musical it wasn't in the song but you've never seen the labyrinth with David Bowie Eternal Stench. Rile by Stone. It was like a bird that said it.
Was it a musical?
It wasn't in the song.
You've never seen The Labyrinth with David Bowie?
No.
Oh, man.
Oh, no.
It's just Labyrinth.
I know.
She reverse Facebooked it.
It was like a huge cock piece on that he wears.
And he does that ball, that spinning ball that we put two yak things together.
Yeah.
When would I have watched it?
In the 80s. In the 80s.
It was like a big 80s.
It was like a cult classic kind of.
You guys watch it.
I feel like the kids that grew up watching Neverending Story evolved into Labyrinth.
Yeah, I didn't watch either.
Yeah, that was me.
You never watched Neverending Story either?
Oh, Pan's Labyrinth.
Wow.
That's more modern.
That came out in like 2012 or 2011 or something?
That was Animal. I didn't make it through it. 2012 or 2011 or something? That's the thing with the...
That was Animal.
How did it make it through it?
No, it wasn't.
Oh.
Eyeball in the hand.
It was like animatronic, though.
There was like some kind of weird...
Yeah, I had just started smoking weed when that came out,
and I still couldn't get with it.
Yeah, you were off the Zah back then.
I was just getting off the Zah.
Yeah.
I didn't know how to inhale.
Speaking of...
Zah.
Oh, Zah.
You have an update?
Is it bad or good?
I, uh...
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, I'm just trying to find the way to say it.
Oh, I had to sign...
Actually, this is the way to say it.
I had to sign an NDA as soon as I walked in.
Oh, no.
Okay.
No, it's fine.
I mean, it's fine.
Everything's all good.
Wait a minute.
Who wrote the NDA?
It's just very...
Aren't you breaking the NDA right now?
Yeah.
I mean, not necessarily, I guess.
Wait, what?
I guess I'm violating it, but yeah.
Are you... Not a harmful... I don't'm violating it, but yeah. Are you?
Not a harmful, I don't think it's a harmful violation.
Is your roommate Drake?
Yeah, what?
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
No, it's fine.
No, it's fine.
Yeah.
It's not an issue at all.
I hope you guys keep doing whatever you were doing beforehand beforehand and I hope that this kind of just is a legal
formality to protect everyone from hearing
about it. We've all been there, man.
Yeah.
We'll have to sign a couple NDAs.
Also, by the way, there's a lot of people in this
office that have never said a word to me
that are now all of a sudden just looking at me funny
and smirking and all that because of that story
ever since yesterday.
People love a fucker.
Yeah, I don't like that.
It's like a motherfucker
that I haven't talked to before.
Say something.
Yeah.
You got to talk to me
before you smirk at me for fucking.
There you go.
I'm an old-fashioned lass.
It's all good, though.
Oh, I guess we'll move on.
Yeah.
Don't want to get you
into any legal trouble.
Okay, so nothing happened.
I mean, she's aware of it because as soon as it came out,
her friends told her and all that.
Did she write the NDA or did a lawyer write it?
She got the thing written up quick, too.
It was just a fun, jotted down,
if we want to keep this up, you can't talk about it.
Yeah, it was a conversation.
It was a verbal NDA.
Oh, of course.
So you didn't sign anything?
No.
No, you're good to go.
But isn't your word, your word is your bond, I heard.
Of course, of course.
That's a lot different.
Yeah, you're good to go.
I thought there was a lawyer waiting for you.
It's the eyes of the law.
I don't think a verbal NDA holds up.
The eyes of the streets.
Yeah, no, I feel you, Zaha.
So that sounds good.
I thought it was like a bad thing.
And it just sounds like you're just going to keep it discreet.
Did you...
No, yeah, I mean, because no one...
I mean, I've been pretty good about it.
Did you consummate the NDA?
In English that I would understand,
that one word, consummate, what the hell does that mean?
Consummate, it's like what you dip beer in.
Did you sleep on the couch last night?
Oh, oh, Oh, okay.
Yeah, there was no wanky-panky last night.
That next one will be righteous.
Oh, my God.
Post-NDA.
That first stroke after the NDA.
NDA's stroke.
Yeah, dude.
That goes into all time.
It's like a tailgate beer.
Rank the top strokes.
I've got to give it time.
Post-NDA stroke.
It's got to be gnarly.
Something changed.
Do I give it some time?
It hits deeper.
I would let it build up.
That and the stories until it is still hot in the streets.
I wish it was a physical NDA so you could come home one day and she just rips it right in front of you.
How sexy.
How fucking sexy.
You see her.
Drop the names and all that.
It's crazy, man.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, man. That's awesome. It's crazy man Yeah Oh man That's awesome
That's fun
It's just awesome
I just think it's awesome dude
I just
I love you even more today
Than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
My good man
That's what I'm aiming for
Day by day
Wait hold on
But technically you two
You two fuck your roommates
I'll be
I'm married to him
Yeah
Damn Well Rowan doesn't have kids'll be. I'm married to him. Yeah?
Damn.
Well, Roan doesn't have kids, so we don't know. Married to him.
And Roan's gay.
So we don't know.
But it is a roommate for me.
Well, I guess if you're renting, so it's a roommate.
Is it a roommate when you own a house?
She doesn't pay rent.
You guys don't go split seas. No? Not a roommate. Is it a roommate when you own a house? She doesn't pay rent. You guys don't go split seas.
No.
Not a roommate.
So she's just a dependent.
So she's...
Yeah, dude.
She's a squatter.
Well, she's just working for free.
That might even work out better.
She sure is.
I want to get her
to sign an NDA.
Yeah, yeah.
The niece for it.
Hell yes.
Damn, that shit's interesting.
And I just want to ask more questions, but I can't.
Yeah, you really...
You gotta respect the NBA.
No, no, no. It's out of respect for
your roommate.
I don't know if I should keep talking
more.
You're giving us a little bit of leeway.
I want to keep asking.
You can go ahead.
I feel like my itch is scratched and then you just rub the poison sumac on me a little bit of leeway. I want to keep asking. Why you can go ahead. I feel like my itch is scratched
and then you just rub
the poison sumac on me
a little bit more.
It's fucking sumac.
Let me put it this way.
It'll be very,
it's very hard to,
it'll be very hard
for people to pinpoint
the person.
No, no one's going to find her.
Was there any...
I've got multiple,
I've had multiple
female roommates
in the past.
Hey.
Little Thomas Crown affair.
Is this your...
Is this the first
time you've had this happen?
With my
previous, yeah.
Roommates-wise? Yeah.
What does that mean?
Both.
Was there any other parties involved
with this other than just you and her
No no no
Did you guys share a snicker about it
Like laugh about it
Or it's pretty serious
The story
Everything that went down
Was it a light hearted conversation
You had hilarity in it
Yesterday I mean it was just me explaining
How it all
I had to explain how it all came out pretty much
You said it
Yeah it was an accident
I slipped up I slipped up Big Cat asked you straight up I had to explain how it all came out pretty much. You said it. Yeah, it was an accident.
I slipped up.
Big Cat asked you straight up, and it's hard to lie.
If you would have lied, we would have known.
Yeah, once I was out, it's out.
I know, it's easy to lie.
Once I slipped up, I slipped up.
It's one of the easiest things in the world.
All I do. Everyone should take it.
All I do.
Lying should be more than best DIY hack of all time.
My God.
Not telling the truth?
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
But yeah, Zah's whole sweater unraveled as soon as we yanked just a little bit.
Weezer.
Yeah, I always say, fuck with me, you'll learn a thing or two.
You do.
You never shut up, though. Yeah.
You're always saying that, Zah.
You're a quote machine.
Yeah, he is.
What a fucking legend.
Where did Brandon go?
Man, I don't know.
It's tired of us.
Yeah.
That little waver in your voice made it way sadder.
It's tired of us.
Yeah.
Like bright eyes.
Like three band references for me today i want to take a break did you guys see how tommy smokes is dressed today yeah yeah he said he's been like
spending money on uh clothes a lot more he went to a place called scotch and soda he got seen that
ew he's been in the gym a lot? There's a few of them. Okay.
Can we pull up Scotch and Soda's website?
Let's see if Tommy, we can find his exact fit on there.
But no, his fit today isn't from Scotch and Soda.
It's from J.Crew, I think.
Yeah, he went to J.Crew and he went to Lululemon.
Yeah.
I did too yesterday.
Man, Lululemon's expensive.
Yeah, it was too expensive, but I wanted to.
What did you get?
What do they have for guys there?
I haven't seen
you got a hoodie off the rack
I wore it yesterday
all of it
that looks like some shit
Tommy would wear
he's wearing exactly that
I told him that he should get
neutrals and stuff
that he can layer out
but uh
I think he got some neutrals
I don't know
but he looks like something
and I just haven't been able
to put my
my uh
finger on it.
Where's he at?
Where's his curvaceous at?
Can we just bring him into the hallway just to kind of look at him?
Yeah.
We should get a gander at him.
There's no way he's wearing any of these pieces.
Yourself be free.
If he's wearing that, I'm going to cry.
I applaud him trying to
The suede cap
I don't know about how he looks
It's tough to wear a hat without any sort of
emblem on it
You just end up looking like an emoji
Yeah that is
Stanley Yelnats
He just wore solid red
David Tell wears just blank hats
Yeah it's a tough, tough move.
I don't even know where you,
where do you even buy that?
Brooklyn.
Maybe like,
Brooklyn has them.
Or lids, like,
before you get anything
stitched on them.
Ditched on.
Yeah, the pre-stitched
and you're like,
I got this.
I've noticed a lot of NBA players
are wearing, like,
funky sweaters.
Like, this year,
a lot of guys are,
I get enough of them
NBA content.
Backstages.
I'm learning more every day.
I love the, the DAPUP videos still hit the celtics did it so you want to co-host the pat beth pod with me yes pat beth
saying he caught a lick on a horse is the coolest sentence i've ever heard in my life caught a lick
on a horse he got a come up he had a fucking good ass deal him and his mom got a horse for the low
don't run or jump though i thought he was on a horse and pulled some thievery.
Oh, yeah, drive by.
Jango'd somebody.
He brodied somebody on the horse.
No, he owns a horse in Texas.
It's just at somebody else's farm.
Kind of fucking sweet.
Shit.
Come by today.
What a world.
I think I'm recording something with him today.
Oh, here comes Tommy.
Dude.
Who have I been looking at?
Mo Bamba.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is a very casual one.
Come...
Mo Bamba.
He has an estranged brother
who tried to, like,
fuck up his entire
recruiting process.
Yeah, new everything.
New shoes, new everything.
Wait, new undies, you think?
Or you think he's still...
It's probably the same.
I don't think he wanted
to spend on undies.
Shout out Jordan Berry running a marathon.
I know.
She hasn't, like...
She went from not working out at all to just,
I'm going to do this.
Which proves that it's pretty easy.
When is that, this weekend?
It must be, yeah.
So, non-shout out to marathons.
Except for that...
Did you see, like, the Kenyan guy who just has all the records now in marathons, except for that... Did you see the Kenyan guy
who just has all the records now in marathons?
It's just one guy?
They tried to put it into perspective.
It's like running on a treadmill
at the top, higher than the top speed you can go.
No, no, no. Che, don't. Che, don't. No, no, no.
For two hours...
Like we're still talking about him?
Like an hour straight.
Let's talk about something else
and see how long he stands.
Oh, but just kind of keep pointing at him
even though we're talking about it?
So it's like running full speed on a treadmill
For 26 miles
And the average person can only do it for like a minute
You know a lot of those people
They'll run like 10 miles
Before the marathon
What?
Just to get their legs hot
Day of?
Like right before it starts
What the fuck? Ten miles?
Probably, maybe more.
For extra credit. I believe so.
I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Kenyans
That's insane.
They get the legs, they just have to keep the legs hot.
I ran one.
You ran a marathon?
Yeah. I ran the Marine Corps marathon
in D.C. a while back.
What was your pace?
Slow as hell.
I didn't train for it.
Somebody convinced me to raise money for a charity, and so I was like, sure, I'll do it.
And then my family donated a bunch of money, and so then I was like, oh, shit, I really have to do it.
I got drunk the night before.
It was Halloween weekend.
Really?
I feel like getting drunk after a marathon would be awesome.
No. You're probably just exhausted. I felt like I got
hit by a car afterwards. I was not
in the mood to party.
Yeah, I think
that...
Come in. After a 10K...
His chain is the longest chain in the world.
We went to the beach together and it got stuck in his belly
button. The longest
chain in the world.
What was that all about? We were talking about marathons. We went to the beach together and it got stuck in his belly button. The longest chain in the world.
Right?
What was that all about?
We were talking about marathons.
We talked about you for like four seconds.
Sit, sit, sit, sit.
I think the outfit looks better with the chain out.
That was the most beta move.
Two open chairs and you looked and then you turned to the standing. I don't want to stay for too long.
You should take the chain out.
I think it looks better with the chain out.
It's too long.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
It's dope with that outfit.
No, it's good with that outfit.
It's just too long.
No, it's like...
Why don't you spin it and double it up?
It was really tangled for a while.
I got to just get it shortened.
I got to go to a jeweler and get it shortened.
Get it shortened.
Just buy a different chain.
Was that given to you, or did you see it at the...
It was given to me.
How do you split it in half so you have two chains?
Yeah, I mean, I have to do something about it.
Can you twist it so you can, like...
You look like a priest.
It looks clerical.
No, no, no, no.
Like, make a figure eight and then put it over your head so it's shortened. Like a double loop. And that could actually look tough. Yeah, it would look tough. It looks clerical. No, no, no. Make a figure eight and then put it over your head
so it's shortened
and looks like you're wearing two.
And that could actually look tough.
Yeah, it would look tough.
It would look dope.
I don't really even kind of
understand what you're saying.
Make a figure eight.
My head's kind of big.
There's no way I'm going to be able
to get it over.
There's no clasp?
No.
What the fuck is going on here?
I don't think it'll fit.
Yeah, I don't think it'll fit either.
I think that's for a deacon.
Yeah. It's not think it'll fit. Yeah, I don't think it'll fit either. I think that's for a deacon. Yeah.
It's not going to fit everywhere.
It's like a little show maker.
There you go.
No, it's only
built so it can only be worn around the neck
to the navel. That's how I like
my chains. I feel like you could wear
that as a belt, brother. You've been shopping
lately. Yeah, Tommy've been shopping lately.
Yeah, Tommy's been shopping.
Scotch and Soda, J.Crew.
Rone's recommendation.
You recommended Scotch and Soda?
He asked me what my jeans were one time, and they were Scotch and Soda.
I will tell you the buckles.
He started to shop at Scotch and Soda.
On those jeans.
There's no zipper.
Do your Scotch and Sina jeans have no zipper?
Button fly? Button fly. Have you never had button fly yet?. There's no zipper. Do your scotch and seam jeans have no zipper? Buttonfly?
Buttonfly.
Have you never had buttonfly yet?
Never had a buttonfly.
Oh, they're great.
Oh, you definitely just started shopping.
I dislike it immensely.
Yeah, I don't like it.
I like buttonfly a lot.
It's not that great, to be honest.
It takes forever.
No, when they get worn in and you've got to pee, just...
You can just pull it down.
Zipper is way more satisfying.
Zipper is more...
Almond zipper.
I think buttonfly is a little, you know, has a little something about it.
It's like a little treat to put to...
I've really not enjoyed it at all.
You can go top button down kind of like a seductive neckline.
My dick's fucking massive, so I have to...
But it's bottom heavy, though.
Yeah, that's true.
Teardrop shape.
Everyone knows that.
You've got a big teardrop shaped dick.
Yeah.
Stass, you want to settle the shit between you and Tommy?
You guys have shit?
I mean, obviously, if you hear this Cold War.
No, I was trying to figure out if that thing I said about the Kenyans was true or not.
Because I feel like I saw it in a documentary, but I might be wrong.
What'd you say?
That they, like, run a fuck ton before they even do the race.
Oh, yeah.
That sounded a little bit crazy.
But I feel like they do.
I'm not denying it.
They're just trying to warm up
because their 10 seems like way too much.
I don't think the 26 is what is the hard part for them.
The hard part is getting the pace.
There's a museum that has a big treadmill
that is the pace of a marathon runner,
and you see how long you could stay on their pace.
I think that's
what I video of it's saying pretty much
I was I was looking at Tommy I'm sorry I
didn't hear you say that you guys want
to settle what's going on between the
two of you guys and Kyle yeah there's
nothing going on that sounds like some
fuck shit dude what a world phantom
planet you're still indie banding right What a world. Phantom planet.
You're still indie banding right now.
Who was the brains behind the Ben Mintz all-hands content?
David Schwartzman.
Behind what?
Behind the Mintz all-hands content email yesterday.
Oh, yeah, that was a little bit wild.
I think that was him.
I would never have co-signed that.
That was a wild email.
I shared it, though.
I didn't see... I emailed the whole company
telling them...
What did he say?
Promote Rediscovering America?
Then he didn't even mention you guys.
He was like,
I want to give a big thanks
to Fastuli and Don and the crew.
He said they work really hard.
He said Fastuli busts his ass on it.
No mention of...
Yeah, everyone does a great job.
Corey, I mean...
He's the man.
Yeah.
It's his show.
No, but I'm...
Yeah.
The email went out.
Who told him to?
He did on his own accord.
Someone always tells you to.
No, it was definitely him.
No, he said he just saw the list that Hubs uses on his blogger emails
and just copy and pasted it.
That's sick.
Yeah.
So he's moving?
Yeah, he announced at the end of the post-credits scene.
It's like when it was a Marvel-esque move.
Going to New Orleans.
Going to New Orleans.
I like you being this close, Brandon close Brandon Oh it is nice to be here
This is nice bro
What's up dude?
How much?
How you doing?
What time do you wake up?
I wake up at
Six o'clock
He's about to lie
Jesus
Then I
Then once the kids go to school
I usually get another
Another hour
Really?
I believe if I was up
I'd be up
I saw some crazy made me
livid uh someone on who works for sports center and put up a tiktok of like what time does the
the 7 a.m sports center crew get like wake up for work and the first guy was just like
1 30 that's crazy 1 30 and then people were calling him out in the comments,
and the guy who posted it, he was like a swaggy Korean dude.
Dude, you got to account for the commute, brah, brah.
Bristol?
Dude, 1.30 to 7?
Is he commuting from Montreal?
That's how he needs to be in that building.
That is insane.
There is no...
First off, waking up at 1.30 isn't a thing.
No, that's not.
It's not a time that you can wake up.
That's not going to sleep.
Yeah.
I think he said he goes to bed at 9.45.
No, that's not sleep then.
Yeah, that's less than four hours.
No.
Does he sleep in shifts?
Or is that all he gets?
I think he needs to be in the building by, what, 5.30?
A little prep?
I think you can survive on three to four hours of sleep,
but you can't if you wake up at 1.30.
Tommy, did y'all hide your broad?
Oh, no.
Is he here?
Yeah, he's right behind you.
He's right behind me.
Oh, look at that.
Is that a Velour jumpsuit?
That's what I've been...
Why do I smell my broad's pussy on Albanian dick?
Oh, that's Albanian dick.
It's not just Albanian dick, though.
That's...
Is that my broad's pussy?
Did anyone else's seat just get soaked?
Yeah.
What the hell?
Yeah, it did.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
So, Brandon, you wake up and then go back to bed?
Not every day.
Sometimes I get to sleep all the way through.
Usually I get up and start my day at 9, but I'll wake up and help the kids get out.
They leave at 7.30 and then I can just go back to sleep for a little while.
Oh, yeah.
That hour of sleep is magical.
Yeah.
It's really not an hour.
It's 7.30 to about 9.
It's nice.
Sometimes when I do that, though,
I get way more tired.
I got it down to science now.
Yeah.
7M Sports Center production crew
wake up from work.
Whitley, what time did you wake up?
This is not the one, but...
What time did you go to bed?
Don't judge me, but I woke up at 1.30,
but I didn't go to bed until 11.
What? Two and a half
hours? What time did you wake up?
What time did you go to bed?
Woke up at 2 a.m.
Went to bed at about 10 p.m.
But these are the people that have to get this
shit ready. These are the people that have to get this shit ready.
These aren't the anchors. The anchors are different to me.
Yeah.
They probably have four or five hours of work to do before a show.
Wake up at 1.30 in the morning.
Go to bed at 9.45.
Wake up at 3 a.m.
Go to bed at 8 p.m.
He's twitching.
3.30 and go to bed at midnight.
Good morning.
How are they surviving? 4 a.m. wake up time. Go to bed at midnight. How are they surviving?
4 a.m. wake-up time, go to bed at 8 p.m.
What time do you wake up?
What time do you go to bed?
3.30 a.m., 9.30 p.m.
Okay.
I'd like for the same thing to be done at Barstool.
Yeah.
Go to bed at 9 p.m., wake up at noon.
Quiggs is just, I haven't slept in six months.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With Tyler Miller.
Yeah.
He's just asleep.
Have you seen him recently?
Tyler?
Yeah.
I was with him last night.
He looks tired.
Yeah, he's always tired.
Tired Miller.
Tired Miller.
Yeah, dude, he busts his ass so hard, and I respect it, but he's just producing the
fuck out of a bunch of shows.
Yeah.
You said you guys
have a good guest today?
Yeah, we do.
I don't want to say anything.
I shouldn't say who.
It's not really my thing.
Shit.
Good guest.
That's an understatement.
I also hate when people
shame people
over a lack of sleep.
I think they should be more.
They should not be praised.
For what?
You gotta end that.
What? For grinders who like get no sleep. shouldn't be yeah i don't think that's a badge of honor i think
that should it shouldn't be either shouldn't be like but that's not like a sign of like
i guess it's hard work but not really kind of like jaco willing that veteran who he's been on
zero block 30 but every morning he posts like a black and white photo of his watch.
It's like 3.50 in the morning.
It's like, if you're not up with me right now looking at this, then you must not care.
I have guy friends who are into it.
He doesn't have a real job like that.
His job is waking up early and working out.
That's how he makes money, is posting that picture every day.
Sleeping's awesome, though.
When I'm up on Honkshu like, yeah, that's how he makes money is posting that picture every day. Sleeping is awesome though. When I'm up, honk shoo, honk shoo.
God damn.
Yeah.
I could honk shoo.
Honk shoo, honk shoo.
Honk shoo.
Anytime I've ever like done that, the whole like waking up early and working out thing,
by the time I get home and then like shower and then go do what I have to do, I'm like
fucking exhausted.
Yeah.
I can't keep my eyes open.
Yeah.
I don't think it's any badge of honor to deprive your brain of what it needs
to recover. I don't think that shit's
that sweet. I've been on my 7.30 tip this
week.
Getting up at 7.30? Yeah, I've been waking up early
too. I woke up at
6.45 today
and then I fell back asleep.
I can never fall asleep before midnight.
I just can't. I'm a night owl and my son wakes up
at like 5.50 every day that's just like clockwork like fuck but once i drop him off at daycare i
do the same thing i get home i shut the door behind me and i'm like i'm gonna just stare into
space for an hour that's good sleep i go to work yeah i'm gonna do nothing and brandon you're hour
and a half kind of that's a full ride of the circadian rhythm that's like one cycle when the
when the house goes from loud in the morning to quiet,
it's a piece
that can't be explained.
As a parent, that must be fucking nuts.
That must be the best feeling.
That's why I totally get why
parents send their kids away to sleep away camp.
That's going to be awesome.
Sounds like a fucking life hack.
Or to stay at mama's house
or whatever. Stay at your at mama's house or whatever.
Stay at your grandmom's house.
I'm just going to be the uncool parent,
so don't want to go to sleepovers elsewhere.
Be super strict.
Is it hard to be strict?
I don't know.
I've never really tried it.
Yeah, isn't Tommy up until like 1 a.m.? I did record Tommy.
I interviewed Tommy last night to see who his favorite people at Barstool were,
but he told me not to post it, so I didn't post it.
Can I guess?
Yeah.
Isn't he dumb this many times?
Yeah, but I interviewed him.
I wanted him to do it.
Spiders in his top four, yeah.
Emrags.
Huh?
If I dropped out of the top four, I feel like that's fucked.
And Roan. That's his top four, I feel like that's fucked. And Roan.
That's his top four.
Makes sense.
I talk to him like he's an equal.
I'm not sure why you're in the top four.
Because I talk to him like an equal.
Do you ever spend as much time with him as Spider and Emrae?
That's what's crazy about the quality of time we spend together.
I've got to be his bottom one.
I'll play video games with him.
I'll demolish him.
I asked him, who's your least favorite?
He said,
I don't have a least favorite.
I like them all.
He hasn't met Kate yet.
That's true.
Who was his second
to least favorite?
That's
probably me.
Caitlin?
Aunt Caitlin?
I don't know.
I don't know that he's aware
that she works here.
He thinks that she's also
visiting for the day?
Dang.
Roan.
Talk to me.
Phillies.
Yeah.
What was that?
I mean, in a way, it's kind of sick to have witnessed a...
Not really.
No, it's not, but...
It wasn't that sick.
When did you lose hope completely?
Dude, I watched my dad eat a bag of peanuts straight over three innings
without looking up.
He was just mowing them down like a cow grazing,
and I knew that we were cooked at that point.
Were the shells going back in the bag or right at the feet?
The feet, dude, at one point, though, was a crime scene on him.
I was like, clean yourself up, sir.
Yeah.
And then they played Big Sean
right before the start of the game, too,
which I tried to ignore as a sign,
but that was also a clear sign.
Why would you play Big Sean?
Like, what is the impetus?
It's an omen.
It was an omen, dude.
It's a Yemen.
Mm-hmm.
That was the first full baseball game
I've watched in a long time.
And you love that shit, huh?
It's a long game.
It's a slog.
It's a slog.
It's a slog, especially when no one's here.
It's fucking too long.
It is long.
The game was going to like 1130.
Yeah.
So nothing happened.
I know.
And the fans were rabid the entire time.
They lost energy towards the end.
No, dude, being there, it was fucking rad. He watched it on TV.
I think he knows.
There's a video of people
like, dude, people were on
their feet throughout the
eighth and ninth inning.
It was absolutely desolate.
There was no chance of us having
anything good happen, and people were
fucking losing their shit.
It shows the amount of hope they have. Or the amount of adderall they're on dude to focus at that rate i feel
like focusing that much is was that video of chris o'connor yeah yeah just sitting there just
staring at the old yeah adderall shortage of thing or is that just something to scare you
i think no it's a real thing isn't it like what about prescribed drugs uh crazy prescribed and because 40 million people
or something like they did a loophole where during covid they could start prescribing it
on like your online therapist doctors now like they couldn't before and it went up like 280
percent or something like that like the amount of prescriptions was insane um but yeah they're
they're like pat took pat like a month to find some and he functions on it like he he needs it
yeah there's a lot of people here like that yeah taking it twice so many people have scripts i
learned like a different person every day yeah yeah not me not me is uh is peanuts the move at
baseball games i know tj is a chicken bucket guy, but is that really –
Peanuts are a good move.
That's really like the only place outside of like five guys
and like some select restaurants that you can really just eat.
Well, I think the game is so long,
it gives you something to do kind of while you're watching.
It's like something to –
You're outside as well.
You can just drop them.
Maybe the circus so you can feed an elephant.
Yeah.
There's not that many other places.
I do like boiled peanuts.
It's one of the best peanut places.
Boiled peanuts are amazing.
Yeah, get them boiled.
Is this a southern thing, peanuts and Coke?
Yeah.
Never done that.
Well, you put it in the can.
You drop them in there.
It's a bottle.
Glass bottle Coke?
Bottle, take a couple peanuts, put them in there,
swirl it around, drink it.
Pretty good?
No.
It's terrible.
What's the best thing to...
You sold it.
Yeah.
What's the best thing to rattle around in your hand?
I mean, dice, skittles.
Coins.
Yoo-hoo.
Shaking up the yoo-hoo.
Teeth.
Don't say something to rattle, though.
Like a rattle.
Bones.
Right before you shoot roulette.
Still dice.
You guys overhand or underhand?
Oh.
What's your...
I think sidearm.
Yeah, backhand.
You talking about craps or roulette?
Yeah, I think craps.
Yeah, roulette you don't.
That's what I do.
I think you could charade for throwing a boomerang
and people would guess rolling dice.
You just don't need to...
Yeah, you don't need to warm it up.
I'm talking about that sensation of
crackling.
The shake weight you have in your hand that makes you feel
like you're...
I think there's a lot of hard candies.
Mentos, very good for that.
Tic Tacs.
I don't know if I really have one
for that.
Jangling, I believe.
Tell me, what is this
for people who are older?
You did it perfectly.
Yeah.
One of those tube toys.
Tube toys when you shake them?
I didn't know that.
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know the first part at all.
I know the second part.
But do you know what I'm talking about?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, those ones where you flip them and it goes.
But if you shake them, it makes a funny noise. I didn't know that I'm talking about? No. Oh yeah. Yeah, those ones where you flip them and it goes... But if you shake them, it makes a funny noise.
I didn't know that. I've never done that.
Oh.
Do those have a name?
Yes, they're called groan tubes.
I know.
I tried to buy some for whatever reason.
They're fun to play with.
You never get sick of them.
They last forever.
Now, that or a PS5, what you taking?
Grown tooth.
Definitely that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, that thing.
Shaking them.
What?
It's audio recorded like when they first made it.
Ten hours?
The first one.
These were huge when I, at least for me when I was growing up.
Does that sound like the land speeder in Star Wars a little bit?
Sounds like a dinosaur.
Sounds like a tornado alarm.
We all have different perspectives on this sound.
It sounds like an underwater nuclear siren.
Yeah.
Get someone shaking a shake plate.
Tornado siren didn't work for you?
A grown tube.
Make it a different siren?
You just went siren.
I said underwater.
But you came over the top of my siren thing.
I know.
Wait, what is this?
I should have stepped on it, but I didn't.
I was in my own head trying to think of what it sounded like,
so I wasn't listening.
Which isn't right.
Which is wrong of me.
I don't think I want to give this guy views.
I don't either.
It says 29,000 views.
It's not that bad.
I'm almost all of them.
I wouldn't mind just taking a peek at your YouTube history every now and then.
Yeah, it's sad
there we go
that's what I'm talking about
hell yeah
this might be rock bottom guys
yeah
this might be it
let's pull that
I kind of like sitting
I might take this seat for now
it's nice
you got a good gravity to you
yeah I do you do have a good gravity to you. Yeah, I do.
You do have a nice aura.
Mm-hmm.
A nice aura.
Someone put me.
Who sits here on the last show?
Okay, so I'm here.
Mince is here.
Big Ev, Marty Mush, Smitty.
They pushed their chairs together today.
Well, Big Ev naturally has kind of a gravity thing to him.
You're stepping on my shit.
I was calling.
It was a fat joke.
Yeah.
So was mine.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my fault.
Oh, no, honey.
Oh, God.
Guys, he doesn't know.
I was going to order a Lomo Saltado, but I see you're eating a salad.
I was eating a salad.
It's a poke bowl, but I eschewed the grains.
Very salad-looking poke bowl. I know. I got greens as a salad. It's not a salad. It's a poke bowl. But I eschewed the grains. Very salad-looking poke bowl.
I know.
I got greens as a base.
I tried to order it so it would be here like a half hour before the show.
It came late.
But then I was like, can I just let fish sit for an hour, hour and a half while we wait?
So I'm sorry for eating this fish in front of all of you.
I ordered Egyptian last night.
Oh, fuck is Egyptian?
Got a beef bowl.
It's like the dish of Egypt.
It's from a place called Zuma.
Z-O-M-A.
That with some good olive dip.
It was a really good meal.
What did you dip in the olives?
Naan or a pita.
Wow.
It was a delightful.
I recommend getting some Egyptian. Some unleavened bread. Flat-ass bread. You're a bigita. Wow. It was a delightful. I recommend getting some Egyptian.
Some unleavened bread.
Sounds good.
Flat ass bread.
You're a big olives guy anyway.
Olives are my new favorite food.
Passed up Pez.
Have you ever had a tapenade?
I just got into the olive game.
A tapenade,
I mean a dish that's served with a tapenade,
you're going to want that in every bite, dude.
You kidding?
Olives.
They're great.
That's probably my least favorite food that I can still tolerate.
I've been buying jars pitted.
Olives are so good.
That's a good category.
I like that.
Least favorite food that you can actually eat.
I can easily tolerate it, but I don't like it.
If it's salty, it's delightful.
I feel kind of healthy because it's a Mediterranean diet.
I think my least favorite food that I can still tolerate is chicken.
Just grilled chicken.
So bad. Plain chicken is very
bad in my opinion. It's not bad.
I think it has no taste. You have to do things to make it good.
You have to do a lot.
Nicky boy, read that
prep sheet. Last bullet point for
other today.
Oh!
No, the pits are it's a almost, it's a nice thing.
I love the pits.
It slows you down.
For the viewers, maybe give that a whirl.
Read the goddamn perps.
How is it 2022 and olives with pits still exist?
Why would they stop existing?
He's trying to genetically modify the olive, I think.
It's like seedless watermelon.
They're a thing that existed.
Yeah, but like why would they put them in salads?
Like with pits.
Maybe I'm just not that experienced at eating olives,
but I don't want to bite into something
and then there'd be a super hard seed in it.
Do they put pitted in salads?
Yes, in Greek salads.
That ain't right.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I never had a pit in a Greek salad.
Never. I'm sorry this happened to you I never had a pit in a Greek salad Never You have a lot of Greek salads too
Every day
Two
At least
One when I wake up
One right before I go to bed
We should move this show to a blue zone
It's a blue zone
It's like the areas where people live the longest
In the world Oh like Okinawa Where? Oh Yeah That like the areas where people live the longest in the world.
Oh, like Okinawa.
Where?
Oh.
Yeah.
That's one?
Yeah.
People live like forever there.
San Francisco might be out there.
Might be one of them.
Can we pull up some blue zones?
I'd love to know.
Hawaii.
Hawaii.
Is it just based on happiness?
But I think I heard that people who move from Okinawa to Hawaii lose the properties of the
blue zone.
Their longevity is restricted by
their area. How long do you have to live in a
Blue Zone to extend your life?
I think your whole life, kind of. I thought it was the
lifestyles of people who do live there.
It's too late for us. We couldn't...
I feel like it's too late for us. We couldn't blue ourselves?
I wish. Look at...
Wait a minute. Go... I'm a sucker for a
Venn. That one's a try.
Woo!
Azumes is the middle one.
Family, no smoking, plant-heavy diet, constant moderate physical activity, social engagement,
and legumes.
Beans?
Fucking peanuts.
What's Lomo Linda, United States?
Beans.
It's in California.
Lomo Linda. He States. Where the hell is that? Loma Linda.
Heard of something, Linda.
Yorba Linda.
Yorba Linda.
Okay.
Where is it?
It's inland.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
Oh, that's like in the desert, isn't it?
I thought it would be on the coast somewhere.
It doesn't look desertish.
Is it Palm Springs?
I think seafood is a big tenant of the blue.
That might be one of the biggest counties in the United States of America.
That's a doozy.
That might be.
Is Palm Springs in there?
I don't think so.
Yeah, it is.
It's got to be.
I think so.
Dude, I didn't.
Oh, it is.
It's like rivers.
What the hell?
Oh, hell no.
Oh, hell no.
I don't know
there's only three blue zones
I thought that there was more
in the world
I thought that there was more
I don't know
I haven't seen that diagram
a lot of places where you don't live
that long in the world too
yeah
as it balances out
the red zone
let's not get political bro
what city has the
shortest lifespan
in the world
yeah
probably somewhere in like Longwee Malawi What city has the shortest lifespan? In the world? Yeah.
Probably somewhere in Longwee, Malawi.
Yeah?
Is that where Cody was at?
If you guess a city that's in the top 10 shortest lifespan cities,
I'll give you $100.
I'm thinking like Freetown, Sierra Leone, Kinshasa, Congo. It's so populated.
Can you be populated if you're dying off fast?
Yeah
Because a lot of it's
Infant mortality
I think that plays into it
Ah yeah
That really fucks up the average
So just people with bad health
Djibouti maybe
Djibouti
Djibouti, Eritrea, that area
KB
No?
Because of the famine?
Maybe, yeah
I think there's a lot of Military presence there a KB? No? Because of the famine? Maybe, yeah.
I think there's a lot of military presence there.
This has become
a serious discussion now?
I'm interested.
Let's see the top 10 list.
Is anywhere in America?
Is there any American cities
on the list?
I doubt it.
I don't think so.
These are countries.
Swaziland.
You look up cities, it's just U.S. cities.
Sierra Leone.
AIDS.
Oh.
Yeah.
What?
Holy shit.
AIDS.
Swaziland is AIDS.
Full-blown AIDS.
AIDS.
Swaziland is AIDS.
I mean, that's what it is.
Fuck. Not HHS. That's beautiful AIDS. I mean, that's what it is. Fuck.
Not HIV.
That sucks, dude.
Are they completely surrounded by another country?
Yes.
What country?
AIDS.
South Africa.
Okay.
What if we're wrong and they're just really into skydiving or something?
Beckley, West Virginia is the worst?
Oh, man.
Really?
What's the lifespan expectancy?
Opioids?
Probably.
And obesity? AIDS. And obesity.
Wait, isn't there something really nice in Beckley?
No.
It's close to the New River Gorge.
That's nice.
Remember the kid at the chili festival was like,
Mountain Dew?
Yeah.
That's Beckley.
Oh, I need to hear that.
What was it?
The chili cook-off.
I drank a whole two liter of Mountain Dew. Yeah. Is that Beckley? I need to hear that. What was it? The chili cook-off.
I drank a whole two liter of Mountain Dew.
Yeah.
Is that on your... I just saw that on TikTok yesterday.
Still making rounds?
That was an old vine.
Swear to God, I just saw it.
That's the only reason I know what you're talking about.
That's making the rounds again.
I remember that video. That's old only reason I know what you're talking about. It's making the rounds again. I remember that video.
That's old.
I had some laughs at that one.
That's a treat.
In 23 years, hundreds of people enjoyed the cool weather and warm food of Chili Night,
and today was no different.
The 24th annual Chili Night was held in uptown Beckley,
where 40 vendors competed for best in show.
It perfectly complemented the more than chilly weather.
Temperatures remained in the 40s and
50s through the day. Newswatch
caught up with some local testers.
We also spoke to our very own Courtney
Rosemond and Brad Sugden who
are given the fun job of judging.
I tried this one
Mountain Day and it set my mouth on fire
and I had to drink a two liter chili.
What? They fucked it up.
What the fuck was that?
I had to drink a chili.
Who did that?
Why would they do that?
I ruined it.
I ruined it.
It's not funny.
There's, well, there's obviously.
That sucks so much.
What the fuck?
I tried just one chili and it set my mouth on fire and I had to drink a two liter Mount
D.
I tried just one chili.
Yeah. That's good. Shit. Shit tried just one chill. Yeah.
That's some good shit.
Good shit.
That's good.
That's some good shit.
God damn.
Those guys are so good
at bending brims of hats
down there.
Yeah.
What do you think they do?
Do you think they put them
under their mattress or something?
Probably oil it up a little bit
like a baseball glove.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I think tie them around
a can of beans probably.
Yeah. Something like that. Got it. You ever throw the baseball glove under the mattress oh yeah no never did that
i tied it i would tie it up i did i threw it under the mattress but my i never had a really well
broken in glove and there'd be some kids on the fucking team that that shit would be open in like
a newspaper dude that shit was folded dead in half. What would have mind having a catch?
Was that what it was called when you got your name on it? Glovesmith?
I don't know.
I would buy a baseball glove right now to go have a catch. I think it's a blast.
I would love to do that.
I haven't thrown a baseball with a glove
in a long time.
Let's go do it.
I saw a bunch of dudes last night fucking throwing a baseball around
just like chilling.
It's great shit.
Let's get a little circle going.
Not too far.
I'm not trying to long toss.
I'm trying to long toss.
I got a bad throwing arm.
You going to the game tonight, Ron?
No, sir.
I'm going to be streaming it here
with Tico Texas and Schmitty and Kate.
The big man on
campus.
Yeah.
Be in the building.
He's got a big guest
tomorrow to bigger than
the Pat Beverly show
guest depending on what
circle you like.
Auburn basketball.
Yeah.
If you're a mob fan this
is a bigger guest than
what's going on in the
basketball show.
This is a mob thing.
Joe.
No.
People allowed to say. I don't know. This is a mob thing. Joe Pesci? No. People allowed to say?
I don't know.
It's not my thing to tell,
so I don't want to kiss and tell with the mob.
Fair enough.
If you're a big mob and basketball fan,
today's a big day for you.
Yeah.
Once these both come out,
it's going to be super exciting.
I guess that would be Nadu.
Yeah.
I guess it would.
He is a bench mob guy.
Whoa.
Oh, he wasn't.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
He wasn't on bench mob.
Oh, wow.
And he loved the mob,
so that must have been
doubly damning for him.
Yeah, big man on basketball,
which if you shortened it,
it was B-Mob.
Right, right, right.
And you understand
why I got a little confused
because they had the same name.
B-Mob could be translated as Basketball Mob.
Could.
Yeah.
I don't know why you would, though.
Yeah.
There's a deeper meaning here.
Sass, how are you?
Yeah, how you doing?
You never ask that.
Boy.
You never ask that on this show.
I'm all right.
I feel a little under the weather today.
Oh?
Yeah.
Me too.
A little scratchy.
I don't want to make it about me, but I'm scratching.
I have a sore throat coming on.
A sore throat coming on. I woke up scratchy throat. Woke up with it.
Woke up scratchy throat.
I was mad about it, too.
I was popping cough drops
trying to get back to sleep. Maybe.
I'm glad we all have it. It must
just be. Well, we don't all have it. I feel
fine, too. You'll get it, Brandon.
We all shared a champagne.
Hey, how do you feel? Post-nasal.
I feel something. You're scratch it, Brandon. We all shared a champagne. How do you feel? Post-nasal. I feel so.
My son is sick.
Son is sick.
You're scratchy.
So four out of the six are feeling.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I think I've been under the weather for about four years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or you just.
Yeah, me too.
Honestly.
You just need to start taking some kind of supplements.
I think so.
It's clear that you're not witnessing sunlight.
Am I helping?
My mom wants me to get a...
It's the lights in this studio.
It washes me out and it makes Kate rosy as hell.
I'm so red.
You have the same light.
These lights zoom in on me.
I was a bright red and I think I just might be.
Why don't we get these replaced with some of those UV lights?
Or red lights.
Yeah, maybe I need some D.
I need some D too. Let's go hit Central Yeah, maybe I need some D. I need some D too.
Let's go hit Central Park. Let's get some D.
I will go buy a mitt right now.
I would buy a mitt and I did get some D in me.
Down in the park.
Is that funny, Brandon?
It was funny.
It's a joke so I can laugh at a joke, right?
It actually wasn't a joke.
Jesus.
Saying baseball mitt is better than glove.
I don't like saying mitt.
That's why I like it.
You buy a pre-broken-in glove?
No, not really.
Used.
Where would we get that?
Mitt's like someone who says tennis shoes.
I don't like that.
Oh, yeah.
Tennis shoes?
No, they call them trainers.
Your tennis shoes.
What's wrong with tennis shoes?
I hate it.
I say tennis shoes. I say tennis shoes over sneakers. Have you ever heard of tennis shoes? I hate it. I say tennis shoes.
I say tennis shoes over sneakers.
Have you ever heard of tenny runners?
I don't like saying sneakers either.
I think it's just shoes.
Well, what are those?
Just shoes?
Yeah, I would never say sneakers.
Tennis shoes.
Tennis shoes.
Listen to yourself when you're saying tennis shoes.
I say tennis shoes.
You remember when the biggest insult would be like, oh, you have nurse's shoes?
No.
No.
That was the thing for you guys?
You do have nurse's shoes.
That was the biggest insult?
Well, it was like if you wore white shoes, people would call them nurses shoes.
You were in high school during like the what are those era.
Yeah.
You were in the day.
Damn, Daniel.
Yeah, the daytime.
What are those?
Yeah.
Tennis shoes makes my skin crawl a little bit.
Well, I guess I'd never say tennis shoes, but I never thought it was weird.
Tennis shoes and gals.
I had Osirises in high school with the biggest...
My grandma said all that.
When a guy says gals.
Those skinny legs.
Yeah, dude.
I couldn't lift them.
You hear it every once in a while.
Gals?
Yeah.
You got to bring Osirises back.
Brandon, I could see you rocking a pair of Osirises.
I don't know what Osirises are.
You would love them.
They said Osiris so big.
Usually, if you had Osirises, you probably were on some sort of pills or something in my school.
Yeah.
Also, they weren't pills.
I had those.
Jesus Christ.
You had those?
Like Sonic the Hedgehog shoes.
It looked like I was in the band Blood on the Dance Floor.
This doesn't even do them justice either.
They're bigger.
Look at those.
DJ, I guarantee you've had a pair of these, right?
I had DCs, I think.
Yeah, those had fat tongues, but these things.
Those are all tongue.
Oh, my God.
Just one big tongue.
I was one of the circus that had the stash pocket in the tongue.
Not that I ever smoked weed as a kid. Oh yeah.
I'd like video games in or something.
Now there's just like regular release Nikes
that have stash pockets all over them.
Chad Muska did it first.
Yeah he did. What's it what
about skateboarding shoes makes
the tongue makes you want to have a thicker
tongue? It's padding. For
fucking up? Maybe your ankles.
Oh really? Because I feel like when would you even ever. For? Fucking up. Maybe your ankles? No.
Oh, really?
Because I feel like,
when would you even
ever hit this?
Boo-boo.
Like when you,
yeah.
A boo-boo.
I guess if you got
like a little out here
or some shit like that.
Should I talk about
Blatman's email?
No.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you were just
talking, I was talking
about that earlier
with some folks.
Some gals.
What was the email?
You were gossiping.
Company-wide.
It was,
he said to everybody,
he said,
everybody clean
your fucking shit up.
Apparently pod two,
somebody left a bunch of weed and blunts and everything in there.
Cigarettes, like cigarette ash.
Who was it?
Do we know?
I'm not ratting.
I know who it was.
They pulled the footage.
Why aren't you ratting?
That's the worst part.
Why aren't you ratting?
That's even weirder.
Who are you protecting?
Then the green room too.
That I don't know.
I don't know about the green room.
We got the email too.
We got a secondary.
Yeah, Enrique followed up.
What if...
I think the worst part was the headline of the email.
We're all adults, right?
Right, yeah.
That's just how he led the email.
That was the subject.
Rhetorical headers are never good.
No, no.
I wouldn't mind if they fucking fire swept this entire office and started from scratch.
There's nothing here of value.
No.
Except for the wires.
That's all we have in this office is the fucking wires.
That would be nice.
If they just fire swept everything.
There's no look or there's nothing on anyone's desk that's that important or anything.
There's no blunt cuts that we necessarily need to save.
We had a mouse
on the live stream
the other night.
Oh yeah,
the Ron.
That wasn't my screen
believe it or not.
Who was it?
Someone else
on the stream.
I know when I feel
it two days later.
My voice is crashing.
The Terminator said
he's never seen
a worse infestation
in New York City.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Oh God.
And there are some
really shitty buildings in New York City. Yeah, that's Yeah. Oh, God. And there are some really shitty buildings
in New York City.
Yeah, that's right.
I went to clean out
my bottom drawer,
which I've never had food in,
and there was so much
mouse poop in the bottom.
I think there were like
just like a nest of them
were just living there
next to me while I worked.
They've been feeding off
of Mantis's corpse for years.
They've mutated.
He's not dead yet, so they're eating him.
They're just eating at his ankle, and he eats them.
It's this weird life cycle.
Mantis would have loved Clemmer.
Yeah, he would have.
He's got a cute girlfriend now.
Yeah, he does.
I'm really happy.
Yes, he does.
Mantis?
Sure does, yeah.
Your brat stalls for Halloween. I, he does. I'm really happy. Yes, he does. Sure does, yeah. Your Bratz dolls for Halloween.
I know he fucks.
He's talked about it.
Fucking ain't quiet.
Especially
when you're bent.
I want to know who it was, Brandon.
Spill.
Let's narrow it down
Who smoked
Let me tell you the truth
I don't know who it actually was
All I know is last night
I do the Brandon Walker show from 6 to 7
Sitting right here
I know who was in this hall
Going back and forth between pod room 2
And this empty space
I know who that was
So I assume that's who left the mess,
but I don't know.
So you would think it's someone with a podcast or no?
Yes, it's someone who recorded a podcast.
I was here around, I think I left around 6.30.
Yeah.
Trying to think who was here.
There's an RK follow-up.
I'll actually follow up to the We're Adults.
His was fiery.
Who?
RK.
Oh yeah, RK followed up. I'll let him come speak to us. His was about the green room. Name goes for the green room yesterday. His was fiery. What did he say? Oh yeah, Rike followed up.
I'll let him come speak to his piece.
His was about the green room.
Name goes for the green room yesterday.
I mentioned that as well.
Yeah, he did.
You know, fake nails, a blunt from the couch,
weed off the new coffee table.
That was Clemmer.
Clemmer, right?
The fake nails.
And now the green room.
Well, the weed makes me think it was Frank.
The green room is forever locked.
That's right.
We lost our green room privileges.
We go in there to write sometimes.
Not anymore.
Yeah.
I was going to say we need someone to come in
and just clean all our desks and shit,
but maybe just even accountability.
I don't know.
Maybe a little accountability.
A desk is just all sweatshirts.
Like, hey, throw this on.
Yeah, me too.
They just do so much of that.
I clean my desk once a week.
They don't.
Do.
You move it to mine.
I put your stuff on your side of the desk.
Not even my stuff.
I put your stuff on your...
Oh, well, Kyle's stuff.
It's all Kyle's stuff.
No, some of it's mine.
The only person that does a good job of keeping their desk clean is Jordan Woodruff.
And I used to keep mine clean, and now I've fallen into disarray.
You're too close to PFT. You're normally...
You're right.
But it's not...
PFT's area has taken over his chair, and he has no chair now.
He just has a cooler.
He sits on the end of a cooler.
But there's usually shit on his cooler, so he sits on stuff that's piled on his cooler.
I'm embarrassed every time the office
is shown. It's always
the same comments. Yeah, I like the British
version. Yeah.
Me too.
Alright, alright, alright.
Not bad, not bad.
It wasn't bad at all.
I heard some Christmas music last night.
Did it get you in the spirit? Yeah, it did.
I think I'm going to be deep in the spirit.
I'm already in the spirit.
I'm ready.
Dug's got us some dope-ass air fresheners,
and it just smells like Christmas in our apartment.
Oh, I like that.
Which is wild.
I never would expect Dug's to do that.
Dug's, thanks for the dope-ass air fresheners.
Our apartment just smells like Christmas.
It's awesome.
That's a come up.
So these are dope.
Dope ass.
That's a hilarious sentence.
That's how they should market them.
Like their Yankee candle?
Kyle, switch me seats.
Look at your complexion over there.
You look great in all of...
It's the light hitting us is very bad.
No.
I'm normally super hot.
You just laid out why I shouldn't.
All right, switch me.
Give me a solid.
Just give it a look.
Give it a look.
That's all.
Switch me.
I'm more of a dark bar lady.
Not quite.
Adam Ferron.
Will you take this complexion?
Yeah, I'll take that.
Yeah, that's nice.
Good luck.
No!
What the hell?
Oh, great.
So now I'm going to look extra shitty.
Let's see.
How do I look?
Yeah.
Oh, you do look better.
Like a little pink. Almost cute wherever it goes. You do look better. Oh. Like a little pink.
Almost cute wherever it goes.
Like pink as hell.
The rosy boy.
You're a rosy boy.
Something about this camera.
Wait, what's happening?
Oh, my God.
I like that.
It's like a music video.
Do you still have the safety on your pick?
Unexperienced stoner.
Yeah.
Yo, bro.
There's kids around.
You're right.
Sass is in this bitch.
Sass,
why don't you list
the not a kid?
The most,
the five people
who've been the most
ageist to you
since you've been at
high school.
Because I know
it's been happening.
I know it's one.
You know it's one,
but there's probably
I know one up there. The ageism been happening. I know it's one. You know it's one, but there's probably... I know one up there.
The ageism is crazy.
I definitely could think of it,
but right now I'm blanking hard.
When you first started,
it was running rampant.
It was bad for a while.
I wouldn't say who,
but what's an example?
Do you have an example of...
I mean, you guys probably have
more examples than I do
because I probably just text you guys
and then never think about it again.
You never think about it again?
I've definitely had some.
I think when I asked for a raise, there was a lot of ageism going around.
Being like, why does he even need money?
That was actually what was happening.
And then they're like, he's making more than I made when I was his age.
He's got rats in his apartments.
He's 19.
Kill them.
I didn't even have my own apartment when I was your age.
It's like, yeah.
There's micro-age-isms when people just assume TikTok is your main
social media and shit like that.
But that's not necessarily
a true age-ism.
I don't know. Who else?
People just come up to you and put their shirt
over your head and just be like,
you're fucking a teen.
Did I do something at first? I don't remember what it was though.
You were a big asshole for a while.
I don't think that's true, but you said it.
Oh, no, it was.
Yeah, it's true.
It was like bullying at its finest.
You shut the fuck up.
Remember I came in on my first day, and I sat down.
Or I was like, I came next to Nick, and I was like, Nick, where should I sit?
I don't have a desk.
And he was like, oh, just sit at Ria's desk.
She doesn't come in because it was during COVID.
And so I sat in Ria's desk.
Whatever. in because it was during covid and so i sat in ria's desk whatever uh the next day i come in i sit at ria's desk again and brandon goes no that was a one day thing and he's like standing up
looking for somewhere else for me to sit i was like what it was like just us in the office that
sounds fine you you being near me was a one big thing.
Yeah.
And then I,
now I end up sitting probably.
Six feet away from me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You moved,
you moved.
You dumbass.
You moved 10 feet.
No,
I don't know where,
I feel like I was sitting somewhere else before that though.
You've been at that seat for a while.
Yeah.
Oh,
I was sitting when they put those new seats in.
Yeah.
That's where I sat for like a month and they moved me.
Who else has been ageist?
I don't really think anyone.
It seems like you guys have more examples than I do.
The big thing for a while was
this kid's never had a real job.
Was that in the office
or was that people commenting on the Reddit?
In the office we talked about it a lot.
Oh, then I don't know.
I was never made aware of that.
Should we have Blatman explain the email?
Blatman!
Blatman!
Blatman!
He's too far gone.
That ass, he can't go fast.
Go for comfort.
He can wobble, that's for sure.
He's explosive.
He could do some ski jumpers pretty
well, probably.
Alright, everyone out.
No, no, no.
We're talking about
office cleanliness
and accountability and how
we could maybe all take more accountability
for ourselves and our environment.
Are you asking me how we do that?
No, I heard that there was an email.
Yeah, what was the breaking point?
How bad was it?
How bad was the room?
Yeah, yeah.
It was bad.
What are we looking at?
A lot of ash.
Okay.
How did it come to your attention?
You know, I feel uncomfortable doing this on the air.
Podroom 2 is completely trashed this morning.
It is covered in weeds.
You already showed the email.
Oh, you showed it.
Oh, I didn't know.
Doc's blabbing.
A lot of emails.
Okay.
So you don't feel comfortable.
Someone probably said it to you.
Yeah.
Someone passed it along to you and you were like...
I saw it in person as well.
Who was it?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
The footage pooled?
Yes, you do.
No, I actually don't.
And this, I'm not... It's not... I don't need to publicly out anyone anyway, but I don't know. I have no idea. The footage pooled? Yes, you do. No, I actually don't. I don't need to publicly out anyone anyway,
but I don't know who it is.
Content Kim.
I think it was Mother Knows Best.
We do smoke a lot.
Her and Frank burn it down
on the fire escape all the time.
That is true.
What else? The green room was trash too?
That was in an Enrique email.
Yeah, Enrique emailed about that.
Double emailed.
What was that about?
You're pissed.
He sent it.
It came over the top of your email.
We do need to take more accountability though, huh?
Agreed, yes.
Clean desks maybe?
We're all adults.
Let's just, you know.
Why'd you ask him?
Because he was at the beginning.
He's at the beginning.
Oh, we were saying we're all
adults right oh yeah okay uh yeah let's just you know be responsible yes i'm on board together i'm
on board with that let's be clean for our neighbors agreed no agreed it's a shared workspace let's all
be respectful kate uh do you have invisalign too i Dude, I was just sitting here looking at your adult braces
I just got it
You're a glimmer
They really oversold the whole Invisalign
You can totally see it, it's pretty embarrassing
We're all adults here
It's some sort of scheme that you guys got involved in
It's the dentist, they're pushing it
It's like, when I go in to get my eyebrows done
And she's like, we should probably do your lip too
and i'm like all right i guess and you end up paying extra you guys know how it is um he hooked
me up with the rubber bands i just went in for a cleaning he's like you know if you want to do
something about that they throw them on that day they literally like they're like as soon as you're
done we'll make the appointment it was like a couple weeks later look at me i have adult braces
wait it only took you a couple weeks to get your liners?
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
It took me like six weeks to get it.
Oh.
Time is, I don't know what time is.
There's no way this is of interest to anyone.
No, no.
I want to get it because I get onesies in this baby gap.
But I heard dentistry profits are way down this year,
so they're trying to upsell everybody.
I don't know.
It's just what I heard.
Well, I agree with you that accountability is the way, and I'll
clean up my desk today to try and...
Yeah, I prefer a before and after picture,
if you don't mind. You got it. Thank you.
That's the least I could do. Appreciate you, bro.
Turn around now.
Go ahead and
turn around now.
Should we spin the wheel?
Oh, we didn't do any ads, did we?
This mic stinks.
Smells bad?
It's stinky.
Every single day.
Are you serious?
Every single day
and then I'll lean in too far
and I'll like hit my bottom lip on it.
Oh, it's so gross.
You know what fucked me up?
Large,
during the Barstool breakfast days
or whatever,
Large brought in these
like cleaning wipes once
and wiped down
a bunch of the ear,
the headphones and the mics, and they were
black. They were so
gross. I hadn't
thought about that in a long time, but now I'm thinking about it again.
This is like a deep-seated smell.
It's actually so disgusting.
It happened to me and I wanted to throw up.
Hell yeah. I just thought all mics smelled like that.
I thought that was mic scent.
I'm in paradise right now.
Hygiene.
And I look tan as fuck.
Do you guys think we all have COVID?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Probably.
I don't.
I feel fine.
Yeah, because you're wearing Roebuck.
You were yesterday.
No.
I was.
Jesus.
That would have been...
That would have broken my spirit.
I don't know why that's permanent.
I don't know why it's permanent either.
I don't either.
The diminishing returns on that one.
Yeah, let's take it off.
Take that one off.
Just pull it.
There we go.
There we go.
Guess we could just do that?
Yeah.
You know, let's pull wet too.
If it's just all dry.
The wheel reset.
What else are we missing on there?
Why does it look so bare?
We got rid of all the bullshit Stinky cloud
Stinky cloud got got
We're like
Three punishments behind
We still haven't done that much
We have KB job search
12 hour
KB just don't do that job search we have kb job search you gotta catch up 12 hour yeah maybe just don't
do that job search or just call somebody right now just be like y'all hiring yeah oh wait nick
what does your friend do for a living oh he wouldn't tell me what do you mean he wouldn't
it's too late now he won't tell you he won't tell me i was trying to like it's like yeah we were
just talking about jobs and he was like we brought up like who has like a mysterious job and you can't i'll call him yeah sorry i'm still wondering what he does
now he does what he does he's in the cis
he works up he works upstairs he's probably never gonna know i know holy sup boy yo you're live
hey what are you at work right now yeah how's your day going good any like some uh tiktok
sure but like uh like like work stuff's good? I know you've been stressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good.
What do you, like any...
Any meetings?
Did you have a meeting today?
No meetings today, no.
What about yesterday?
Yeah, we had a big meeting yesterday.
About what?
Stuff.
I can't really get into it too much.
Alright, what are you doing for the rest of
you busy uh yeah i should be around here around like five or so like a spreadsheets or like like
what just like work like uh computers what like i thought did you have to update your computer
no okay um i was like so the q is the cubicle probably sucks
the cubicle is probably
a bummer huh
like yours
or like others
yeah that's kind of depressing
there's nobody here
it's just me
okay thank you
just you
just you
why
why what's going on
everybody else
is in a meeting
everybody but you
somebody there always has to be one person not in a meeting
for customers for customers for customers yeah clients
who's the biggest one like do they come in what type of clues they come in or just call
best client to work with uh Encrypted email only.
Now he's... Government?
Okay.
Oh, yeah, because you have...
All right, man.
I'll talk to you later.
Peace.
Damn.
What's he do?
That's good.
Yeah, we have no leads.
I'm even more confused now then.
Smaller office.
Yeah, it's got to be like eight to ten.
Clients.
One person has to be...
He's in Pittsburgh.
Subcontracting.
Or steel.
What about steel?
Oh.
He works in like...
I'm not having meetings for steel.
Instruction, planning, and shit.
Who is this knight?
Why do we always have these people...
What is this?
Why are they bringing a barstool bag?
Are we about to blow up?
What is that? How did this man bring in a barstool bag? Are we about to blow up? What is that?
How did this man bring in a barstool bag?
Should I go look?
Yeah, go look.
And that person
was trying to get out quick.
Might have just come in from the
other side.
I'd like to duck right now.
It's very wrinkled.
What the fuck?
What the hell?
What was it?
What was it?
What's that face?
Wait a minute, what's the face?
Wait, where was this?
What is this you're making? What is it?? Wait, where was this? What is it?
I gotta go look.
What is it?
Yeah, Ro, go look.
What?
What the fuck?
Okay, let's see what Ro sees.
What did that knight bring in?
What the fuck was that?
God damn, I'm up.
I know.
Wait, wait, wait.
I gotta see it.
I gotta see it.
It's your turn.
What is it?
Chill.
Chill.
I'd like to not know. I'd like to not know
how
why
that's for me
why
why was that
that's for me
yeah
what
alright let's end the show yeah end it for me. Yeah. What?
All right. Let's end the show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
End it.
I think we have to save that.
Brandon, don't.
Brandon, don't.
TJ. We'll be right back. Do you want to end the show or no?
Are we still alive?
Why?
Because we are.
If we are still alive, we have to tell you about Roback.
How awesome Roback.
How awesome Roback is, and their performance polos are the only polos we wear.
Disregard the polo I'm wearing right now.
The fit is perfect.
The collars never lose their shape, and they're perfect for a night out or a day on the links.
They got the best hoodies, the best quarter zips, the best everything.
Roback is the best thing to wear in the fall.
Their hoodies are a total game changer.
The softest, stretchiest hoodies in the game. Use code YAK on Rob roback.com for a generous 20 off your first purchase through the end of this week
that's r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com that's 20 off all polos quarter zips and hoodies with code yak make sure
to jump on roback's new print polos to have you looking fresh and feeling good roback that's the
yak Feeling good. Row back. That's the Yak. That's the Yak. That's the Yak. We'll see you next time.