The Yak - Who Is Barstool's Weirdest Employee? | The Yak 1-17-22
Episode Date: January 18, 2022Personally I think its FrankYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Welcome!
Oh my god! Oh! What? Welcome. Oh, my God.
Oh, what?
He's like one of those cats, those shaved cats.
What do they call those?
Like ugly cats?
Yeah.
They're hiding a chiseled jaw.
Cats make you want to pick.
My God, where have you been hiding that?
Hyper.
Hyper allogenic KB.
Damn, Mr. Chin.
I thought it looked whack as fuck.
Yeah, no, you were right.
Your instinct was right.
Who's that?
Yeah, no, that doesn't. Nah. That ain't it. Fix it. No, no. Fix, Mr. Chin. I thought it looked whack as fuck. Yeah, no, you were right. Your instinct was right. Who's that? Yeah, no, that doesn't.
Nah.
That ain't it.
Fix it.
No, no.
Fix your face.
I didn't.
I knew what I was doing.
So I know why you did it.
Why'd you do it?
Because he sent me a picture of him doing a face mask yesterday, and he wanted to get
the whole face.
Yeah.
And it looks good.
You getting hot as fuck this year, bro?
Are you?
I tried.
You gave up already?
Yeah.
No, I accidentally fell KB's tricep the other night, and oh my fucking God.
Touch it, bro.
Touch it, bro.
Chiseled?
Touch his tricep.
That's my most neglected muscle group by far.
And that's what's crazy.
It's your eighth best muscle group.
You said accidentally because it's so big it gets in the way.
Yeah, it just knocked
over my drink.
Yeah, at the bar.
It's like an unruly boner.
This tricep smacks
your girlfriend's ass
in the bar.
What do you do?
Yeah, we had our live show.
It was a huge success.
Move this hell.
It was us.
It was so us.
So us.
I think for anyone
who missed it,
we're not going to put it out no no oh god
here's the highlight though we tried to do a vibes which ended up just being like karaoke
because you can't do a friday vibe that people don't know the words to because it's just awkward
with the crowd but the highlight of the whole show was when stephen shay proudly was like i got a vibe
everyone knows the words to, and it was
the Freshman Verb Pipe, which is an abortion
song. But blatantly
an abortion song. Yeah, suicide
too, yeah, and he was like,
I've never listened to an abortion song.
See, the song Brick is a
song. Yeah, that.
Freshman is just over. No, it's very
overt. So that was
that really was, I think that would be the highlight.
I've got to talk to Stephen Che.
I know he's not here today, but when did Stephen Che start absolutely hating me?
Oh, he's hated you for a while.
That's been going for a while, but it keeps getting more and more.
Oh, yeah.
I'm starting to shot glass at him.
He hates me.
That was an alpha move.
Che ripped a shot of whiskey and chucked the empty glass at me.
Right into my chest.
I think it's, yeah i don't know
what it i think it's probably like you're you're still a new guy in his eyes but i haven't really
done anything to him like i've earned hey you have an off-putting personality i've earned hate with a
lot of people here but not with him you're over six feet so he views you as a human yeah yes yes
even it hates he doesn't hate short baby just doesn't – he thinks it's like –
It's like how Frank sees Owen.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
It's not there.
We also, Steven, all-time tweet yesterday when Hank had his snafu with the betting,
which shout-out Nick for just completely taking the air out of the room.
If you missed it, it was one of the funniest clips where hank thought he had won three thousand dollars off a twenty five dollar bet because he had tj watt to score the first
touchdown he actually had derrick watt to score the first touchdown but steven steven quote tweeted
the the clip and he said this is all time poor hennies please give him a follow if you don't
already wildly talented producer a part of my take. What?
For that?
But Steven has 64,000 followers.
I would guess 99.9% of them follow him.
They either already follow him or they know who he is and don't want to follow him. And definitely followed Hank first.
Let me introduce the world to Henry Lockwood.
He has the power to sway.
Please follow him.
If you don't know him, you might know him from such things as Stool Street.
Why did he do that?
I need to get to the bottom of that, actually.
It's a wild tweet.
I looked at it and I was like, he's not joking because it's Steven.
And who the fuck knows?
Yesterday sucked.
Yeah, look at this.
That's dead serious. That's dead serious.
That's dead serious.
Play the clip real quick.
I want to watch it again.
Nick ruined the whole thing.
What was I supposed to do?
Let me see.
Oh my god, bro.
They extended cuts.
Tweet it.
Tweet it. Tweet it.
How did you see it, Nick?
Wait, wait.
You guys knew it was wrong?
Wait, wait.
Go back.
No, no, no.
We just looked at the odds.
Go back.
I want to watch the whole clip.
Because we asked what the odds were.
Yeah, as a true gambler, when someone puts something in front of my face, my eyes just
go to the numbers.
Like, how much did you just win?
And it was green already.
Yeah, I didn't even look at the name
or anything.
TJ, can you put a block over me and join sports?
Just like a black sensor ball.
Look at Hank.
He's about to tell us.
Oh my god.
I love it. Come on, now.
The bat.
TJ Watt.
The bat fucking Watt.
TJ Watt, first touchdown scorer.
No way.
No way.
You fucking.
No way.
Go happy, Jerry.
You genius.
Did you really do it?
Fuck yes.
Yes.
Yes.
He thought he won $3,000 off $25.
The odds were $12,500.
Oh, my God.
That is amazing.
Are you serious?
And Hank is like, I'm shaking.
I'm shaking.
They clap.
This reminds me of a mobster movie.
I don't know why.
Mincy doesn't even notice.
No, Mincy, it didn't involve Mincy, so he wasn't.
Look at when everybody goes crazy when they find out about Derek.
Look at Mincy.
Everybody says everybody has a different reaction.
Oh, my God, bro. You dog. You want to bang? Tweet it. At the very bottom everybody says everybody
Wait that's Derek Oh, it is? No. Can we go full screen and just zoom in on the Mints? He might as well be a cardboard cutout.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Everybody's so loud, laughing.
Mints, he also pulled me aside, like, the streams yesterday.
Wait, did he just notice us zooming in on him?
I swear to God, I think he did.
He did.
That timing was amazing.
If you watched, we did 10-hour live streams.
Roan got his guts ripped out.
Yeah.
Terrible.
We bet way too much on the Cowboys.
Got their guts ripped out.
Nick and Jerry got their guts ripped out.
Everyone losing bets everywhere.
Mincy just pulls me aside at the end of the stream
He's like this has been the greatest day of my entire life
I'm up 26 units
And I'm just like alright
There you go Mincy
That motherfucker
I love him and guess what he's still at work today
He came over and said that to us in the other room
And Malasek like went at him
He's like weren't you down 56 last year
And then he just cursed at Malasek.
He's like, yeah, but it's a new year, motherfucker.
It was like pushing him away.
Fucking Mincy.
I love the guy so much.
He's such a weirdo.
Dude, you know what's crazy?
Everybody had a, hell yes.
Everybody had a bad weekend this weekend except for Stephen
Che.
Yeah.
He's the only person anywhere.
All the Patriots lost. It's maddening. Everybody lost. Nobody got to have their way except for Stephen Che. He's the only person anywhere. All the Patriots lost.
Everybody lost. Nobody got
to have their way except for Stephen Che. And they're going to win
the Super Bowl again.
I don't think so either.
I hope to God not. I think their defense
is all the way back.
Their defense played Jalen Hurts
though. Yeah, but no, they're all the way back.
Dak Prescott sucks, dude. What are you fucking talking about?
Dak Prescott's a fucking bum. It all the way. Dak Prescott sucks, dude. What are you fucking talking about, dude? Dak Prescott's a fucking bum, dude.
It's alive again. Dak Prescott's
a hell of a bum. No, he's not.
He's a hell of a bum. He's not even
fucking better. He's not even better.
That was an organizational problem. That was 15 penalties.
That wasn't on Dak Prescott. Organizational? It was 100%
on him. That wasn't 100%. He didn't get 15 penalties.
What are you talking about? Jalen Hurts is throwing balls to the box.
He is fucking Amari Cooper.
Pull up Dak Prescott getting his ass kicked on the beach.
That's not really necessary.
Dak Prescott stinks.
Why is your finger stuck?
He does.
Because I'm pointing at you.
This is an aha moment.
You tried to cast a curse in my way.
The Cowboys.
No, I said to Jalen Hurts, not to you.
But that's a ricochet shot, bro.
Dak Prescott is the MVP, though.
Congratulations to him.
That almost backfired on you.
Well, you battled the Cowboys, so.
Yeah, it almost backfired, though.
And he's a bad guy.
He wants them to throw stuff at the refs.
Prescott's not a bad guy.
That shit is uncouped.
He is encouraging people to.
Refs need accountability.
No, they don't.
Not that way.
They didn't do anything wrong, but they still need accountability.
He forgot when he was live on PMT and said to his PR person that interview went horribly.
Brandon, as someone who got smoked by a glass
this weekend
how can you support
them throwing stuff
at refs
yeah yeah
same exact thing
happened to you
I don't have to agree
with Dak Prescott
on every single thing
where is he
he's on the ground
oh no
why'd he get his ass
kicked
there were like
30 of them
he was racist
he said something
racist
you know what's kind of depressing?
Looking at clips from 2011, and they look, now they finally look like senior year.
Stay down, Dak.
It's glowing.
That's a zesty suit.
Yeah, like iPhone's five.
That right there, you're looking at the peak of Mississippi State football.
No, this was after.
The peak.
This was after.
That color combo is wicked. He'd already graduated. So sad. Pause. What is this was after. The peak. This was after. That color combo is wicked.
He'd already graduated.
So sick.
Pause.
What is this?
Is that a person?
That's a person like in the well of a car.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Don't mind him.
It's a matter for the authorities.
Never trust people at spring break who are wearing backpacks.
Are people getting jumped less than they used to?
Yes.
Or is there less like world star just like type clips going around?
No, there's more people
filming everything.
Yeah, so why
all the time
jumping just doesn't happen?
That's too bad.
It was the fucking
I used to love
Worldstar fight compilations.
I would like
set my clock around them.
Some people can't stomach them.
I have some friends
who are so empathetic
that they couldn't stomach
watching fight videos.
Really?
Also, a lot of that shit you can't post on Instagram anymore.
That's what I mean.
Like, is there just, like, are they just silencing the fight game?
How could you be so empathetic you don't enjoy a good fight?
I think people just, like, see someone get in there, like.
I can't watch fight videos.
There's some that are hard to watch.
Well, the thing is, I don't like.
You always relate to one of the people, and I'm always the guy getting his ass kicked.
Yeah.
Like, what if it was me?
Yeah.
And they're just, like, out on the curb, like, just staring up.
A cameraman's right in their faces.
Their eyes glaze over.
Yeah.
I love that shit, man.
But the best fight video is one where the two guys beat the shit out of each other, or one wins, and they end up shaking hands or just being boys afterwards.
Or the guy,
did you see the guy last week
who got,
there was a fight on the subway
and the guy like fell into the subway?
Oh, he picked him up.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a great.
Good sportsmanship.
That's what being a human's all about.
Also, I mean,
don't want.
Yeah, it's manslaughter.
So he probably was like,
oh, I don't want to go to jail.
Let me pick him up
so I can beat him up some more.
That would have been hilarious
if you picked him up
and was like,
I'm not finished with you.
That is sweet.
I don't want the train to do my dirty
work.
I'll be the one.
I'll be the one who murders you with my L train.
Look at that.
Can you watch my videos or does it turn your stomach?
Yeah, I don't mind them.
What's up with the orcas?
It's a nice sweatshirt.
I like it.
Yeah, I've worn the sweatshirt like a hundred times.
Just noticed today.
SeaWorld.
Have you ever seen Blackfish?
Yeah.
It's propaganda.
Oh, okay.
All right, cool.
I'm cool with that.
They would never hurt those orcas.
Same way that North Korean woman going on Joe Rogan was propaganda.
You hear that? That lady's propaganda?
Everything's propaganda. You hear that? That lady's propaganda? Everything's propaganda. Super woke people
but then they criticized
China and the super woke people were like, no,
it's actually fucking propaganda that this North Korean
girl fucking got rocks off on Rogan.
But Rogan's going through it now, dude.
Yeah, what's up with him? The scientists are protesting
him. You see that 270 doctors
send an open letter saying that they need to
silence Joe Rogan?
Don't they have better things to do?
Get back to the fucking...
They probably all just have shitty podcasts.
Yeah, they definitely do.
I'm comfortable saying I wouldn't trust a doctor who spends the majority of their time listening to podcasts.
Let alone...
Forget the Joe Rogan part.
If a doctor was like, yeah, I was just listening to this podcast.
Okay, I'm done.
Also, like, I don't know anyone who, like, I thought, like, the whole, like, oh, Joe Rogan, like, people taking his medical advice was, like, I don't actually know anyone that does that.
Oh, there's people who do that.
Oh, definitely.
Really?
Yeah, you're in a bubble right now.
Do you think there's anyone that homeschools using Joe Rogan?
Probably as part of the curriculum, yes.
I guess I don't listen to the science ones.
We use Ben Shapiro, not Joe Rogan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just don't look at the top back of his head.
One of my favorite Ben Shapiro clips was when he was talking about global warming,
and he was like, people say that the floor is going to be underwater in
20 years. Well, they'll just sell
their homes and move.
Who are they going to sell them to?
Someone has to buy it.
You just sell your homes.
It was a bummer when his sister's
huge tits were going viral.
Fake. That's a Photoshop. They were fake? huge tits were going viral. Yeah.
That's a Photoshop.
They were fake?
They were fake huge titties? No, it's a Photoshop.
They're not fake titties.
It's a fake picture.
Those tits don't exist.
That's much worse than them being fake tits.
They're puppies, not dogs.
I mind they will forever.
Oh, yeah, she went viral for the Nancy Reagan.
Yeah, what happened?
Poor Nancy Reagan just got dragged for sucking cock
because of Ben Shapiro's sister tweeted a meme
when she was like, remember it was Madonna,
60 years old, promiscuous.
Like, this is aging with class,
and it was a picture of Nancy Reagan and her family,
and then, like, a picture of Madonna.
And everyone's like, well, Nancy Reagan
was the blowjob queen of Hollywood so
that was a thing going on Twitter
what was that about?
I never questioned it
apparently she was just like blowing everybody in Hollywood
yeah
she gave the best blowjobs in the world
and there was like people were like
digging up tweets of like old politicians being like
god I miss Nancy Reagan
which is just like could you imagine being like that's your grandmother or your mother and just one day you go on twitter
and it's like everyone's just getting their jokes off about how she sucks a mean cock yeah but i
don't think i don't think deep throating existed back then no i think she invented it yeah that's
what made yeah it's basically like the first team to shoot three-pointers.
Yeah, it's like, wait, you can do that?
Holy shit, these count more than two?
Yeah, it's the alley-oop and semi-pro.
Yeah, they banned it, actually.
Do you think footage of her doing that is like footage of Bob Cousy dribbling back then?
It just looks different than dribbling today?
Yeah.
Like, to today's standards, it's actually a terrible blowjob.
She's, like, lightly licking the tip.
Like Nancy Rogan deep-throated.
2060 blowjobs are going to be scary.
Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen.
Might even just put the dick in the vagina in 2060.
That's going to be the blowjob.
That's so sick.
That's the new blowjob.
It's like Elon Musk.
Everything's just going to go down blowjob. That's so sick. That's the new blowjob. It's like Elon Musk. Everything is going to go down a step.
Who tried this?
So a handjob is now a blowjob.
Yeah.
I'm excited for the future.
Endless possibilities.
Holes we never even knew existed.
KB was chilling yesterday with Derek Taylor and Chris Stevens.
Who are those people?
Wait.
Wait?
How do you know?
Weren't you?
Yeah.
Dude, I can't take your serious face serious without your lip tickler on there,
without that beard on there.
Your mouth gets so, like, tight and small.
I have a tiny mouth, I know.
Did you let girls at a bar pierce your ear yesterday?
No. What was the picture at a bar pierce your ear yesterday? No.
What was the picture of your ear pierced?
It was dudes at a bar. How did you know
who I was with? It's just going around.
There's a lot of rumors. Yeah, people were talking about it
at this gambling cave. There's a lot of rumors,
brother. Who are these people? How were
they? My boys. Oh, yeah? I got friends
outside of work. No shit. Weird.
Where are they from? That's what I was trying to figure out. Where are your friends from? Just so you work no shit weird where are they from that's what i was
trying to figure out where are they where's your friend from just so you know boys where are they
from what the fuck you're joking right because nick wasn't there there's frank
i got a tweet yesterday during this live stream that there was like a 15 minute stretch
where it was just the microphone was like legitimately inside of frank's chip bag we need to really we need to relabel that stream as a
muck bang because that's all it was yeah watch the back row it was just he was going through
the chips he came out one at one point with a popcorn popcorn and so it's like that's very
stale he's like yeah i know it's frank i went to the giant, enormous family of 10-size Starburst bag that Frank just put down.
It was just all orange in there.
He just doesn't fuck with orange?
He doesn't fuck with orange.
They sell the singular bags right now.
You can just buy a bag of pink.
Yeah, I think so.
We got to add another row to the gambling case.
Orange is the best kind.
Oh, we do.
Oh, no.
Pink.
I agree, Seth.
Orange is top two.
It's behind pink.
But it goes pink and orange.
Pink is number one all day.
Pink, red, orange, yellow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, red's terrible.
Red's the best, but you have like three pinks.
Red's terrible.
I would say red, orange, yellow.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Everybody right there looks down.
Are we saying right now that we all have different tastes and likes?
That's fucking crazy.
I can't wait for my app to drop.
Oh, I hate your app idea.
It's good.
What is it?
So like one cat, you fill out surveys, everyone around the world,
and you get matched with the person who you have the exact same answers with.
That makes for the most boring relationship ever.
It's not a relationship app.
It's just like there's so many different combinations.
You know it's going to be bad.
When you get your perfect match and it's somebody you hate,
I would just be curious.
You just want to find out that person.
I think it's a good idea.
Filling out a survey with thousands of different combinations of answers.
What are some of the other questions?
There's one person that has the same exact.
I like this.
What are the other questions?
Different surveys, different categories.
How do we monetize this?
Obviously, we're going to sell it.
It's the buddy system.
You're creating a buddy system, but there's no, it's just you find the person.
And people just like filling out surveys.
That's true.
And so you have your profile is a bunch of different surveys.
What you need to do is have, so the people with like a 90% centile match, you basically have a curated Twitter feed with just those people.
So every single opinion you have gets retweeted like a million times and be like, facts, you're so right.
You know what I mean?
Isn't that what we do?
Yeah.
Yeah, we do do that.
Wait, so what are the other questions?
Give us some more questions.
It would just be different surveys. Or like, do you so what are the other questions? Give us some more questions. It would just be a different survey.
Or like,
do you say Reese's or Reese's?
Give us another one.
Do you prefer like
more interest-based?
You wanted to match somebody
with your exact Chipotle order,
didn't you?
That was like an example.
P.U.
Give us some more.
That's a BuzzFeed quiz.
What?
P.U.
Did you invent BuzzFeed?
Dude, look at your lips, dude.
Why do your lips look like that?
He looks like when they
had to digitally
take off Henry Cavill's
mustache in Superman.
KB, look at your
little boobs.
I know.
Oh, no.
TJ's gotten powerful
with that.
Wait, give us another
survey question, KB.
But your skin looks
clear as hell.
Like top ten fruits.
Oh.
Like, shit.
I think it's a good idea.
All right, we should write that down.
Let's see if we can match.
Will you find out?
You think there's a perfect match of fruits in this office?
Will you find out when you have, like, a 95% match?
Yeah, if there is no perfect, it would tell you the closest.
Because they do that with, like, prospects.
It's like, oh, this prospect is, like, a 90% match to Scottie Pippen or some shit like that. Why can't we just do that with like prospects. It's like, oh, this prospect is like a 90% match to Scottie Pippen
or some shit like that. Why can't we just do
that with pallets? Let's all do our top five
fruits. Top five fruits. Top five fruits.
Write it down on your notes
app. This is so hard.
Wow. Also,
there's a lot of things. I don't know if they're fruits
are so what? How
many things? Tomatoes? There's a lot of
things. There's a lot.
Is chair fruit?
Steve and Chase pissed.
This was probably on the prep sheet
for tomorrow.
Like Twizzlers?
Yeah, that's a fruit.
Now, if everyone
in the world
could do this.
Oh, no, that's a root.
Okay.
In order?
Yeah, in order.
Oh, jeez. Is pine cone a order? Yeah, in order. Oh, jeez.
Is pine cone a fruit?
Yeah.
Shit, this is hard.
I don't know my fifth.
Maybe three.
I think this is very easy.
Okay.
I think it's very easy.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me copy yours, Sass.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Enrique?
Enrique's been killing it on Val hold on. Let me copy yours, Sass. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Enrique? Ha ha. Enrique's been killing it on Valorant.
He really has.
Sure has.
Oh.
Nick forgot papaya.
Nick likes papaya because it tastes like papaya.
I'm Googling best fruit to get my mind going.
This is stupid.
No, this is stupid for the show.
It's an incredible app.
Well, you already have your list.
Just fucking carry the conversation for a second.
All right, let's do it.
Yeah, you have your list.
I don't have my list.
Yes, you do.
Who's got their list ready?
I have my list ready.
Hold on, hold on.
I got my list ready.
All right, so Brandon and Sass, you guys say your list at the same exact time.
Rowan and I and Big Cat and Owen.
So we're going five to one or one to five?
Five to one.
Five to one.
Five to one.
All right, number five.
Raspberry.
Blueberry.
Pull of opposites.
All right, Rowan.
Is this in the purest form?
Wait, wait.
Shouldn't we do all of them?
Yeah, number four.
Blackberry.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Number three.
Strawberry. You guys are mortal enemies.berry. Oh. Oh, my God. Number three. Clementine.
You guys are mortal enemies.
Okay.
Two.
Plum.
Peach.
Plum?
Some are.
Some are.
Plums are good.
And number one fruit ever, banana.
Wow.
Banana.
Okay, who might I match up with?
See, that was fun.
I had fun doing that.
Are we starting at five?
Five.
This is fun, KV.
Tomatoes.
Oh, you're just being different.
Is tomatoes a fruit?
But we treat it like a vegetable.
It's a fruit.
But that's my point.
That's why I said I don't know what's a fruit or not.
You can't have pizza without tomatoes.
You did the one fruit that's in debate if it's a fruit or not.
All right, fine.
I'll switch it.
All right.
I'm switching it.
Avocado came up as a fruit as well.
I'm switching it, assholes.
But those would be the two.
Owen, go with me.
Okay.
All right.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
All right.
Ready.
Banana.
Banana.
Oranges.
Strawberry.
Oh!
My fucking God!
I had the same memory.
One, two, three.
Blueberry.
Blueberry.
Five.
Two.
Pineapple.
Pineapple.
Ah! One. Date. Watermelon. Ah. Two. Pineapple. Ah.
One.
Date.
Watermelon.
A date.
See, people like Ron skewing the whole app.
Dude, strawberries.
You're number one for skewing the whole app.
You're number one for it's a date?
You never had a dry date?
No, it isn't.
God damn it.
Strawberries was electric, though.
Strawberries was electric.
You'll never get strawberries.
So you guys have the same number for fruit.
Yes.
And you guys can build off of it.
That's positive that it works, KB.
Why are you trying to...
Nick, you want to go?
Yeah, let's go.
You can do multiple choice, so Rowan will fuck it up.
Five.
Five.
Cantaloupe.
Cantaloupe.
Cantaloupe.
Four.
Strawberry.
Watermelon.
Whoa!
Number four strawberry guy.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Yeah!
Let's go!
Three.
Apple.
Green apple.
Oh, green apple. That should count. I want it to specify. Yeah, yeah, go. Three. Apple. Green apple. Ew, green apple.
That's a count.
I wanted to specify.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Apple.
Two.
Blueberry.
Three.
One.
Raspberry.
Watermelon number one.
Oh, watermelon.
Fuck, I forgot about watermelon.
Me and you, watermelon number one.
Have you guys ever had a date?
What's wrong with a date?
I don't understand how people have a fucking number one fruit.
Dates are fucking a dessert.
They're fucking delicious.
No, like candy dates.
Like just a dried date.
I like bacon wrapped dates.
That's the problem.
Dates are only good when you put meat on them.
No, dude, they're not.
Other things.
You have to enhance dates.
Yeah, you guys are acting like a fucking blueberry shits on a date.
It does.
No, it doesn't.
You ever had a date pie?
You have to freeze blueberries, though. A date muffin?
Because you have to have it with a buttery crust.
You can have a date straight.
What?
You can't have a date straight.
You can't have a date straight.
I can eat eight dates straight.
Dude, I can fucking have a ton of dates straight.
I had a whole box of dates.
All right, KB, give us another list that we can make.
Yeah, I like lists.
This is now the rest of the show.
Someone else thinks.
KB's app.
Vegetables.
Also, I had lemon in mine, but took it out when I made fun of your tomato.
TJ, do you have a graphic for me?
Lemon would be like number two for me.
Big dozen announcement.
Big dozen announcement.
Another one?
Yes.
I'm breaking it right now.
Okay.
I don't have to do it anymore?
Frank and the Frankettes have formed a G League team.
The Scottsdale Lil' Franks.
And we've signed Frank Fleming.
Yes.
No, no, not Frank Fleming.
I mean Riggs.
We signed Riggs.
Welcome to the Lil' Franks.
Who else is on the team?
Just him.
We're going to be sending him an easy question every day.
Sign Abe.
Abe.
His godbrother, Lil' Franks.
That's supposed to be a baseball tee.
I'll be fixing that.
They'll claim nepotism.
Oh, they might.
They are godbrothers.
So we have one Lil' Frank.
Blood related.
That's actually exciting.
Yeah, isn't it?
That's huge.
What about Riggs and Abe?
Because I thought that was a picture of Abe on the thing.
I thought Abe was the mascot of the Lil' Franks. Oh, no, that's Frank. That would be funny. That's Abe. You can see how they're godcousins. It does look like Abe. I thought that was a picture of Abe on the thing. I thought Abe was the mascot of the Lil' Franks.
Oh, no, that's Frank.
That would be funny.
Because it looks like Abe.
You can see how they're god cousins.
It does look like Abe.
Yeah.
Doesn't that look like Abe?
Yeah, you're right.
It's Abe-ish.
What about ranking the months?
Oh.
That's top five months.
That's more personality based.
Top five months?
Not all 12.
Top five months?
Okay.
Fuck yeah.
Oh, fuck yes.
KB, this app is going to be amazing.
How did you think of this?
This is a good idea, KB.
Yeah, fuck, I'm sorry, man.
I could play this all day.
How'd you come up with this?
Got your database.
I was just thinking of it.
I love doing surveys.
Database.
People love doing surveys, and I was always wondering, does anyone have the same exact
taste?
And someone surely does.
Taste in some category.
You know how many Yak viewers just found out they have the same fourth favorite fruit as Big Cat?
They're fucking ecstatic right now.
Huge.
It's like a 23 in me.
It's like finding out you're like a little bit black.
Yeah.
It's incredible.
Okay.
I got my five.
No, I don't.
I got mine too.
Easy.
Brandon, we'll go.
Same groups?
No, let's go.
Me and you because I think we might have share one.
I have a top two and it's a big fall off after.
All right.
Number five.
March.
Number four.
June.
Number three.
July.
Yeah.
July.
Number two.
March.
Number one. October. two. March. Number one.
October.
Wow.
Yes.
Wow.
Wow, we are such a match.
That was good.
There are a finite number of months.
There's a finite number of things.
But Fruits, though, it's just a bigger group.
Well, yeah, I guess if you count dates, then we could just count everything.
I'm about to fucking turn you all out on dates.
You're like our new Bailey Carlin.
Yeah.
Just leaks all week.
Date week?
Date week.
I'll take you boys all out on a little date date.
Yeah?
I'll fucking wine and date you all.
Okay.
Who's up?
Rowan, I've always wanted to know.
All right, let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
Five.
October.
Fuck.
Four.
July.
August.
August is trash. Three. Fuck. Four. July. August is trash.
Three.
December.
Two.
July.
One.
April.
Wait, me and Nick have got some lined up.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no way.
Wait, run it back.
Run it back.
You guys got to run it back.
Five.
January.
Oh.
January.
That was the fifth one.
There's four more.
You just happened to be in the good mood right now.
What is good about right now?
You don't even watch football.
January?
January is my fifth.
I like skiing.
Have you been to a skier?
I did one cold month.
And I hate January.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
Four.
April.
Three.
December.
Wait.
Two.
July.
July. And then one. June. Wait. Two. July. July.
And then one.
June.
June.
Oh.
Two.
That should be one and two.
Why do you guys like August?
August sucks.
I didn't have August.
Kyle, did you go?
August is too hot.
No.
August is the best time to vacation.
What's your five?
July.
May.
September.
June.
Yeah, yeah.
March.
October.
June.
May.
October. September.
Damn.
Damn.
So we have more fruits in common than months.
That's crazy.
That's wild.
This app is crazy.
This is one of the best apps I've ever heard.
What's it called?
Hmm.
KB Surveys.
It's KB Surveys.
Yeah, I want it named after me.
Yeah. Let's do, like, top five, I want it named after me.
Let's do top five hottest Lion King characters.
Zazu.
Let's do top five Barstool sports employees that you like.
Can't be anyone in this room.
I can't get to five. Oh, that's hard.
Underrated?
No, just people you like.
Just people you like?
I don't want to do that.
It doesn't have to be funny, anything.
I don't know if I have five people in this room. People that make you tick... Okay. I don't want to do that. It doesn't have to be funny, anything. I don't know if I have five people
that make you tickle you.
I don't want them to know.
Yeah.
Neither do I.
Outside of this room?
You guys are my boys.
All right, let's do
top five weirdest people at Barstool.
Outside of this room?
Yeah.
This is going to be good.
How about top five minorities at Barstool?
Well, we can't know how. No, top five... No, we can do top two. about top five minorities at Barstool? Well, we can't know how.
No, top five.
No, we could do top two.
Top five weirdest people at Barstool.
Top five weirdest people at Barstool?
I abstain.
I don't really think anyone's genuinely weird.
All right, someone do it with me.
I'm trying to think here of some real weirdos.
And if I did think they were weird, I would want them to know that.
Stephen Chang. Stop. Do your list.
This is hard.
I would need a drop-down menu.
Not enough about a quarter.
Okay, I got it.
I got mine.
Anyone ready? I have no names. Okay, I got it. Yeah, me too. I got mine. You two go. I need...
All right.
Anyone ready?
No.
I have no names.
I got two names.
Let's do stinkiest.
Stinkiest people?
No.
That's an easy one.
Yeah.
I have my five.
You have your five?
I need four and five, and then I'll be ready.
Fuck, fuck. Oh, shit. She knows. I need four and five and then I'll be ready Fuck fuck Oh shit she knows
Fuck
I think
Top three favorite
This one's the hardest one
I don't know this is more
Top five most likely
To not get renewed
Joey That's a top five most likely to not get renewed.
Joey.
I'm ready.
Okay, I got five.
Here we go.
Brandon's like putting in five.
Weirdest people, like weird brains, weird just weird. Oh, weird brains?
Just weirdos.
Weirdos.
Brandon just did his top five. Crazies, weirdos. Oh, weird brains? Just weirdos. Weirdos. Brandon just did his top five.
Crazies, weirdos.
Oh, okay.
Derelicts.
I need to restart.
No.
No.
I'll just do mine.
Tommy Smokes, Stephen Chay, Frank, Mincy Rico.
That's a good list.
That's a good list, right?
Yeah.
But you did people that are-
But I don't think Tommy's actually weird.
No, he's-
No, Tommy's actually weird No he's You did people Tommy's weird
He
He's written like
17 movies
Where he stars in it
But that list
And he used to do that
In high school
He used to write
He used to not play Madden
He would write out
A Madden season
Yeah have you seen
His Excel document
About his Madden characters
Yeah like the fun part
Of video games
Is playing them
But
It's a good
It's a good exercise.
Whoa.
I've been struggling.
I've been struggling.
You think you were speaking recently?
You think early onset dementia?
A stroke, perhaps.
Very early.
You definitely have a stroke.
I have a stroke, I think.
Not nearly enough Ken Jacks.
Ken Jacks is weird as fuck.
Oh, yeah.
Ken Jacks is weird.
That's true.
Who else did we forget?
Polizzi.
And you guys are thinking people that are just sage. In front of the fuck. Oh, yeah. Ken Jack's weird. That's true. Who else did we forget? Polizzi. And you guys are thinking people that are just sage.
In front of the camera.
Oh, no.
There's a lot of weirdos.
Oh, yeah.
The weirdest.
Think about behind the scenes.
The weirdest.
Stanko.
Stanko.
Stanko's naked ass.
Stanko's a weirdo.
He's a naked ass.
Yeah.
Fucking Michelangelo, weirdo.
Weirdo.
I mean this in an endearing sense.
Is mine? Fucking Blatman. More weirdos, the better. I mean this in an endearing sense. Is mine?
Fucking Blatman.
The more weirdos, the better.
Yeah, Blatman with his toe walk.
He's always walking on his toes.
Yeah, is he sneaking around?
He's fucking always walking on his toes.
Every time he walks, I hear the last two keys of a xylophone.
He's too bald.
And he pops his ass.
He's got a good ass.
Blaming this man.
No, that was a compliment. He's got a good ass. Blaming this man. No, that was a compliment.
He's got a good ass.
He fucking pops in everyone's face.
I'm going to have him walk by.
This motherfucker's weird.
Yeah.
Devlin.
Oh, yeah.
He might be up there.
Such a weirdo.
Talk to him he's not, too.
Jake Malasek.
Malasek.
He's not weird.
He needs to be a little bit uglier to be weird.
He's weird for what he looks like.
Yeah.
Yeah. He has no excuse what he looks like. Yeah.
He has no excuse acting the way he does.
Also hates TJ's family.
He doesn't.
That's wild.
This is crazy.
That's genius.
This guy's a weird brain.
Someone get this man a contract
Oh fuck dude
You mean that fast?
They love that picture
The only picture they use
They're obsessed with it
Probably the most Google-able picture of you
Most Google-able
Also we didn't get Stephen Che in that list too
Stephen Che's weird as fuck
Stephen Che straight up
recode Brandon
during the live show.
In front of hundreds of witnesses.
Hundreds.
Hundred.
Hundred.
Hundred.
Exactly a hundred.
There he is.
Walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Walk.
Come here.
Oh, my God.
Walk normally.
Walk normally.
He's got an ass.
Yeah.
And he sees the toes. Like, what he does with his toes. Look at the ass. Yeah, he pops that ass out. Dude, he's got an ass. Yeah. And you see the toes.
Like, what he does with his toes.
Look at the ass.
He pops that ass out.
Dude, he's got an ass.
The guy's got a fucking ass.
I know.
It generates power.
You can tell.
You can tell that he could throw 80 to 82 miles an hour off the mound.
He could be the first to pair a neon Carhartt hat with a Chelsea boot.
He is the first.
He's an innovator.
No, I bet that's going on in New York.
Guy's got a fucking ass on him.
What are you going to say? He wears his, like, shorts. He's an innovator. No, I bet that's going on in New York. Guy's got a fucking ass on him. What are you going to say?
He wears his, like, shorts.
I just always see it.
He's got an ass.
I mean, even if you don't say it, it's still there.
Are we saying top five dude asses?
It's the number one.
Top five.
Oh, yeah, top five dude asses.
Top five dude asses.
Oh, fuck.
Here?
Yeah.
Blattman?
Blattman's one.
YP doesn't
Is he still getting paid
No he's not here anymore
Rudy
Rudy fat ass
I mean Zah
Zah
Zah's got my fucking
He's number one
Zah's got
KB
KB's got an ass
KB can you stand up
No I lost it
Pull your shit back
Oh Fights got an ass
Fights has an ass
Fights has an ass
No but when
Me and KB
We were filming
An apartment tour
And he had to run up the steps
and his ass clapped
to where the neighbors
came out with their...
Them cheeks?
Whoever's ass that is,
shut it up.
Because it couldn't even be
mistaken as anything else.
Oh my God, I love it.
KB, can you see your ass
from the front?
Yes.
What list?
Not anymore.
Did you give your list?
No, I didn't want to do that list.
How about top five biggest narcissists?
Brandon wrote Brandon five times.
Y'all are kind of...
I want to hear your list, Brandon.
I want to know what your list is.
I'm not putting my list out.
Why? It's just narcissism.
People don't like me already, so I don't need any more reasons.
You don't need people to like you. You just lean into it. Be the bad guy.
So we have unintentional people that can't help
themselves.
But then they're...
Yeah, they're evil narcissists like Brandon.
Yeah, there's different levels.
My weird ones were, number five
was K-Marco.
What's his deal?
Jesus Christ. Number four was Erica. Something's his deal? Jesus Christ.
Number four was Erica.
Something's not right there.
Number three was...
Number three is Dukes.
Something's not right about Dukes.
Two is Ken Jack
and then one was Che.
You bodied that.
That was a dope list reveal.
That was a good list.
That all makes sense, right?
Yeah, that was great. I love Dukes so much. You want to say who's narcissistic or has a dope list reveal. That was a good list. That all makes sense, right? Yeah, that was great.
I love Dukes so much.
You want to say who's narcissistic or has a fat ass, but then you just.
No, I think Dukes is a little weird.
He's dumb and he's so funny.
He's like a Labrador.
I love him.
There's somehow less to Dukes than on the surface.
Yeah, no, on Saturday night.
If you look deeper, it falls apart.
On Saturday night, I looked at Dave before the Patriots game and I was like,
so are there any other Patriots fans coming?
Because I'm pretty much asking, are Hank and Feidelberg coming?
And Dukes raised his hand, and I was like, yes.
He's like, well, I'm a Patriots fan.
I was like, okay.
I wasn't – that's not what I was asking.
Dukes has this amazing thing where I don't know what his face looks like.
I see him every day, and I don't know what his face looks like.
I look at his Instagram.
It still won't know. It changes every time. I have no idea what Duk what his face looks like. I look at his Instagram. It still won't know.
Changes every time.
No idea what Dukes' face looks like.
Really?
Not a clue.
Dukes is like a – and you guys obviously are roommates with him, right?
He's like the adult Leroy.
He's like a – he's a perfect – like if you had like your friend group was a starting five,
he's like the perfect fourth guy where you're just like he's's always going to put in, you know, like eight and eight.
Oh, yeah.
You know.
No, you'd be surprised.
He fills it up?
Yeah.
Yeah?
He runs point.
Really?
Yeah.
Look at this.
Look.
There's his face.
Now change the picture.
I thought he was just steady Eddie.
Not the same.
Down for anything.
He's a down for anything guy, right?
Yeah, correct. Like you could just be like, Dukes, on a Tuesday night, let's go get fucked up at a bar. He's a down for anything guy, right? Yeah, 100%.
You could just be like,
Dukes, on a Tuesday night,
let's go get fucked up at a bar.
You'd be like, okay.
You need one of those guys in your crew.
If I was like Dukes,
we're going to go shoot heroin this morning.
He'd be like, all right.
Yeah.
That's a great friend to have.
You need one of those.
You can't have too many of them.
And I also think that he's cut from unruly cloth.
I was in Indiana and some
clearly Long Island
guy, very Long Island
guy who had three Long Island sons
who all went to Indiana and was like, I know Duke's
father and he's one of the craziest
people I've ever met in my life.
Lawyer. He's like a
crazy lawyer, unhinged
or maybe just likes to party.
Also, I think there's something to be said about dudes who just have a shitload of sisters.
They're always a little...
Dudes with a bunch of sisters.
Yeah, they're just down to party all the time.
I don't know what it is.
Hand up, I have two older sisters.
Yeah, but that's not a bunch.
That's not a bunch.
He has like what, six sisters?
No. I don't know. He's got like seven. You have three sisters? Yeah. You have three not a bunch. That's not a bunch. He has like what, six sisters? No.
I don't know.
He's got like seven.
You have three sisters?
Yeah.
You have three sisters?
But you're oldest?
No, I'm second.
So maybe you are a bunch of sisters, but you have a brother too.
No.
It's you and three girls.
I think you're up, yeah.
No, that's clear he doesn't have a brother.
Well, Dukes, my point is very specific to Dukes.
It makes sense in my head.
Yeah.
He's got a bunch of sisters.
Does he? Doesn't he have like one sister. Yeah. He's got a bunch of sisters. Does he?
Doesn't he have like one sister?
Stop.
Stop it.
Don't ruin this.
I've written a whole life story for dudes.
He introduced himself as their brother.
Like that's how he said, he said, I'm most known for my sisters.
Yeah, that was the first thing he said.
Yeah, that's right.
He's like in the shadow of his sisters.
Which I don't remember his last name, but yeah.
Do you dickheads think you could draw China?
Yes.
No.
Why do I keep putting my phone down?
Let's see.
I'll draw China.
Gladly.
We need a pen.
Hang on, I'll get one.
Can we get, TJ, can we get telestrators for this show?
Each of us?
Oh, hell yeah.
Imagine if we had telestrators.
It goes over this.
Oh, man.
R.I.P. John Madden.
R.I.P. John Madden R.I.P. John Madden it's
I don't fucking know
if I could
I don't think I could
I don't know what it looks like
I think I could
it's just
you just go Russia
but way more
you forgot the Mongolian
indent
yeah
little Michael J
it's a smaller
is it heart shaped
no it's like a liver
it's shaped like a
McDonald's chicken nugget
like a river yeah but one, it's like a liver. It's shaped like a McDonald's chicken nugget. Like a river.
But one of the four.
Like a river.
Run your nose.
Why is it yellow?
Brandon.
All right, boys.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, Brandon, quite racist of you.
I don't think I can draw China.
I was just blatant racism.
I said, why did I get yellow? You know what you meant. All right. Maybe you didn't regret I can draw China. That was just blatant racism. I said, why did I get yellow?
You know what you meant.
All right.
KB, you've been regretting on the curve, too.
KB should be able to do this.
Oh, fuck.
I was about to draw Australia.
I just did.
Wait.
They're the same shape.
No, don't show yet.
That's not right.
Why did you write it on that side of the paper?
No, it bled through, dumbass.
Oh, okay.
Jesus.
That looks pretty good.
All right.
I gave mine a nice shake.
I gave mine a nice shake.
TJ, can we go split screen China?
Shut your mouth.
I need another piece of paper.
Like a river.
How many times do you get to draw it?
I love this waiting music.
This is a jam.
Yeah, this is awesome.
What are you doing?
I guess he's drawing China.
This should always be playing.
I don't know that much about Big T,
but drawing China on his Tennessee helmet is not going to fly.
That will actually – he might –
This could be it.
Here we go.
Zoom in, zoom in, zoom in, zoom in, zoom in, zoom in, zoom in.
Might have to go all the way here.
There it is.
That's China.
Oh, my God. The big cat fastball. Jeez. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God.
The big cat fastball.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, shit.
It's not coming off.
No.
Obviously not.
Keep that on.
Oh, it's Sharpie?
Yes.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, dear.
All right.
I got it off.
Yeah, let's see.
It has such an indistinct shape.
What do you mean?
It's very distinct. It's like hard borders has such an indistinct shape. What do you mean? It's very distinct.
It's like hard borders.
We can see yours through.
I did not realize these were Sharpies.
Why is this like the song that plays when somebody rehabilitates a bat that got hit by a car or something?
It is.
It always is.
That's actually a perfect example.
That is perfect.
To now this video.
Yeah, it is.
Finding a bat.
Oh, fuck.
I was way off.
I'm dumb.
It does have an Australian hue to it.
I didn't realize this was sharpie.
No way.
Just put it that way.
Switch it with Virginia Tech.
Yeah.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get it.
Shit.
I'll get him a new one.
No, switch it with Virginia Tech.
You know what I'm saying? What's that northern province? What's up in the top right? Yeah. I didn't get it. I'll get him a new one. No, switch over to Jim Jacks.
You know what I'm saying?
What's that northern province? What's up in the top right?
Yeah, since when has that top right been there?
I'll get him a new helmet.
I ain't never seen that.
Reveal yours.
That was worth the joke.
Brandon.
Brandon drew India.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, Brandon.
That's Peru.
Oh, man.
Angle it right.
Here's mine.
Mine's not bad, actually.
Yeah, that looks pretty good.
That one's much worse.
No, that's clearly better.
Yeah, right there.
Turn it upside down.
That one's better.
Yeah, right there.
Oh.
I did do Australia.
Here's mine.
Everyone was upside down.
Yeah.
Oh, yours is a chicken nugget
That's not
More accurate though
Still
We need to every week
Just mention
Oh KB
Gross
Looks like the
Cookie monster's mouth
Looks like someone
Put a smile on that
You drew Ohio.
Yeah, that's Ohio.
That's the Wu-Tang symbol.
You want to do like a person?
It's the same to LeBron. We really should mention
more often, by the way,
we brought up yesterday, like,
the fact that Frank ate 49 and a half
chicken nuggets.
That top right
is astounding to me.
Yes, yes.
Thank you.
Maybe we should draw more countries.
Before you bring those pens back, I got an idea.
Uh-oh. More countries.
How many countries?
Do we get any other helmets I can draw?
It's fine.
Do you want to see who can do the best Italy boot?
No.
That's too easy.
Not quite.
You need a country like you just kind of know of.
You know the nation Burundi?
Yeah.
It looks like a pair of underwear.
Go to getwood.com.
Yes.
CVS.
I have the beard oil in right now.
I can tell.
How's it doing?
I like the golden hour with notes of smooth brandy and Madagascar vanilla. That's what's in my now. I could tell. How's it doing? I like pretty good golden hour with notes of smooth
brandy and Madagascar vanilla. That's what's
in my hair. I like
I actually Twitter Twitter
sent me a are you trying to kill
yourself email yesterday.
Would you tweet? I tweeted I'm
done with the Cowboys and done with myself.
Like so that's
not a I that's a real person looking through tweets.
I think so.
It was like, we're just checking in to make sure.
They're probably like, you're a valued user of ours.
Twitter would take a hit if you stopped tweeting.
Please don't kill yourself.
Do you really mean this?
I think that means it's a reported deal.
Yeah, you would affect the stock price of Twitter if you killed yourself.
No.
But they would probably want someone to-
Maybe live on Twitter.
A penny?
Live on Twitter if I did it.
That'd be sick.
Their new live feature. If I did it That'd be sick Their new live feature
If I did it in a space
Twitter space
Are you gonna leave
Your account to someone?
You gotta leave
Your Twitter account to someone
I'll take it over
Jake Marsh has it
Yeah, okay
Passwords, yeah
So he could just tweet as you?
Yeah
Can Sass maybe contribute
A little bit?
What number trend
Would you guys be if you died?
I'd probably be like
I wouldn't trend
No, you'd be like 28
I'd make it trend Thanks, man I'd be like Everyone make this trend It would be like It was his last wish We'd have all the vice versa It would be like I wouldn't trend no you got like 28 I'd make it trend
thanks man
I'd be like everyone
make this trend
it would be like
it was his last wish
we'd have all the vice
it would be like Nick
yeah
it would be like
number one trending Nick
and then you'd click on it
and it would be like
7,000 different Nicks
they're talking about
Nick Cannon
Nick Cannon
yeah
Nick Cannon got another
woman pregnant this year
that dude's been
spreading his seed.
Has he?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, prolifically.
Lupus makes you horny.
Who was the anti-Semite?
Was it Nick Cannon?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he was big time.
You didn't answer that?
Yeah, he was awfully quiet when we were talking about Blattman, too.
I got soldiers.
Not soldiers.
That's the wrong term.
But I have people that are doing boots on the ground.
KJ.
Doc Martin boots on the ground.
Yeah, you trend.
Everyone here would trend at one.
Thanks.
Not one.
One.
No, not one.
No, but the Power Bar.
We tweeted about it enough.
Sass would break the fucking internet.
Put it as my home base.
Yeah.
You'd get a moment remembering Lil Sass.
And then they'd figure out that you work at Barstool Sports.
They'd take it to Astro.
The next day, they'd be like, fuck this.
That would be the best.
The people celebrating.
Dave Portnoy's controversial comments.
Here's why we shouldn't care.
Overshadow sass.
That's what it would end up being.
Oh, just because he died, you're forgetting all the problematic
things he's done?
Here he is portraying a bloodied up
Amazon worker.
Or remember when you made fun of
the dyslexic community oh yeah they got they
ran you off they ran you off pumped I was crossing Bella Thorne they'd be
posting Bella Thorne fan cams in my replies PIR little sass. You're just responding to lick self-fuel.
Fuck yeah.
Billy football, Mark Wahlberg.
Oh no.
Did he blind a man?
He was like, if I was there things would have been different.
Have you talked to Rico at all? A little bit.
How is he? He's good. He thinks
he's going to see a therapist.
But he's worried that he's going to get angry at the therapist
and want to fight him.
He's like, well.
So nothing.
He's fine. I talked to him
last week. Yeah, he's fine. He knows
that he did something wrong. How's Billy?
Billy would have changed everything.
He would have stepped in.
What does that mean, step in?
I literally stepped in. What are you talking about? He's like, well, I would have stepped in. What does that mean, step in? I was like, yeah. I was like, I literally stepped in.
What are you talking about?
He's like, well, I would have stepped in.
But what would he have done?
He's got it in his head that he would have jacked him up.
The world would have changed.
I just like that security footage we have of the high noon can
going very fast past his face.
I just imagine Billy Football diving in and catching him.
Things would have been
different,
bro.
Like when,
when you see like somebody get fought out or knocked out in like a MMA fight
or something like that.
And the,
uh,
like the referee dives to like save their head from hitting the canvas really
hard.
Some shit like that.
You would have done that.
Have you ever seen that KB?
Someone gets knocked out and like a fucking,
the,
the,
uh,
the ref goes down with them and catches their head to stop them from smacking it in the canvas.
Never seen that.
It's pretty fucking sweet.
I thought as a fighting guy you'd be into that.
That's good reflexes.
Yeah, that's good reflexes.
For fucking sure.
Things will be different, bro.
I gotta do the rundown of two.
Old school.
Old school.
The boys are back school The boys are back
The boys are back
I don't
Kevin and Dave were like
Really tweeting angrily
At each other yesterday
But it seemed nice
And they managed to both be wrong
Yeah
What were they tweeting about?
The Patriots lost
And like I don't
It was
Yeah
Kevo
Kevin's been online too much lately
Kevo
Davey
Too busy in the books
Yeah Facebook Can't put them down I'm too busy in the books. Yeah?
Facebook?
Can't put them down.
I'm addicted.
Hell yeah.
Did you finish that book yet?
No, 50% through.
Doesn't give you pages on the Kindle.
So what'd you read for, like hours?
You can click the bottom.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
No, bro, I read for like an hour every night.
Holy fuck.
That's like 4% of your day.
What's the, I'm looking at
the rundown topics
I need some help
right now
what's the
Madonna Mayweather
AB Kanye video
they're sitting on a couch
a bunch of very famous
people in the same room
it's like nothing
but for some reason
people have been
obsessing over it
TJ play the clip
okay and then
what was the
MGK Megan Fox
engagement
he proposed
in a striped shirt
pretty
pretty self explanatory yeah but is there any can you give me a take I think they drank What was the MGK Megan Fox engagement? He proposed in a striped shirt. Pretty self-explanatory.
Can you give me a take?
I think they drank each other's blood afterwards.
That was a joke, wasn't it?
They've done that before, though.
What about Britney, CHD?
What is that?
Jamie Lynn Spears is on Call Her Daddy.
They're having a horrible time.
They're just like me.
Horrible time.
Who sat on the ground?
Who are these people?
Lovato, Madonna, Floyd Mayweather.
That's not they.
I think it's they.
Kanye just wants to have an orgy.
He just wants to look like he's having fun.
You think Pete Davidson's afraid?
You see Kanye wrote a whole song about Pete Davidson beating his ass?
I don't think so.
What's MJ Chokes Out Eagles Fan?
I would be scared.
It's hard to figure out what Dave means.
MJ Chokes Out Eagles Fan.
MJ.
Michael Jackson?
These are Dave's topics?
There was a viral fight of Cowboys fans.
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Let's play this.
It's from the blog.
Let's watch it together.
A little rundown, perhaps?
A little rundown run-through.
A little pre-rundown.
A Michael Jackson impersonator.
Oh, that's right.
That's hilarious.
I was thinking Michael Jordan.
That's awesome.
So, Sass was right.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, find this video.
This is going to be incredible.
Dude, I'm so pumped for this video right now.
I can't wait for our takes.
There they are.
Here we go.
Okay.
Oh!
What?
This is awesome.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
He trained.
He trained.
That's not fair.
He trained.
He's going for an armbar.
Oh, yeah.
He's going for an armbar.
He pissed his chirogine.
That's not fair.
He knows what he's doing.
He's chewing on Neuromind right now.
I don't know what that is.
I don't think.
They're really tangled up.
Oh, no, he's going for the hair.
Oh, he's got the neck.
He's got the neck.
Make him tap.
Make him tap.
Yes.
Yes.
Bitch.
The cameraman.
He's breaking his arm, too.
Holy shit, he broke his arm. Where was it? Look breaking his arm too Holy shit
He broke his arm
Where was his
Look at his arm
Oh
Oh yes
Oh my god
He has his arm broken
No I think that's actually
His elbow right there
Yeah
I think he's okay
He's fine
He knows what he's doing
You have to respect it
If he taps right
No
No
I just don't respect
Impersonators
No but if
If the Eagles fan taps
You have to get off right Now yeah What do impersonators. No, but if the Eagles fan taps, you have to get off, right?
Now, yeah.
What do you think?
Why is he an Eagles fan?
He's wearing an Eagles shirt.
It's not even kind of.
Yep, that's an Eagles shirt.
What is he doing?
It's stupid.
It's Eagles fans and Cowboys fans shitting in the urinal.
That shirt's amazing.
Can we make that shirt?
Oh, my God. W.'s amazing. Can we make that shirt? Oh my God.
Holy fuck.
What a shirt.
That's an incredible shirt.
That's one step up
from like Calvin and Hobbes
pissing on a team logo.
He's ready to go too.
That guy fucking...
Yeah, no, he's ready
for another round.
Come on.
He's back in his corner.
I don't know what's...
How he's holding his arm up.
Oh, it could be...
Oh, no, I think he's just drunk.
Yeah, he's an Eagles fan.
There's one thing in life that you have to avoid,
and that's getting your ass beat on camera.
People still manage to do that.
Kyle, you want to search, like, your name on here?
Oh, we were watching wrestling yesterday.
Did you come out with, like, a bunch of lights and shit and music?
It was a walkout song.
Yeah.
What was yours?
It was sick.
I was a backup.
I had a few matches.
You were a backup?
Ew.
In college.
Ew.
Ew.
I thought you were, like, a wrestler.
I started sometimes.
I don't know.
You just said you were a backup. I didn't know You're just in your back
I didn't even know
They had back notes
I thought it was just like
Anyone who wants to wrestle
Can just wrestle
Wait you didn't get to go
A lot of the time
Yeah
I was ranked once
No way
For a week
Okay okay
Awesome
By one publication
Which was
What publication
Is this me
Yeah
Obviously
Which one Oh no Turn this off No Keep it on You got him Oh Which was? What publication? Is this me? Yeah. Obviously.
Which one?
Oh, no.
Turn this off.
No. Get his ass.
Keep it on.
Keep it on.
You got him.
Oh.
No, turn it off.
Turn it off.
Turn it off.
Do you win this one?
No.
Oh, turn it off.
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
I want to see a dub.
Do you have any dubs on?
I want to still be afraid of you.
All of the matches that were big enough to get filmed, I lost.
Oh, that's brutal. I think there might be a win or two on there. All of the matches that were big enough to get filmed, I lost.
I think there might be a win or two on there.
You think, or do you know exactly? There's some wins.
At least you got to meet Jake Paul.
How about UTC?
Grant Green lost.
Buffalo?
Lost.
But didn't you finish with like a 500 record?
Above.
Yeah.
Damn.
They don't have the Mount Union Purple Raider open on camera.
It was like Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game.
It's just like oral tradition that Kyle won.
So.
I'm just playing, bro.
It's fucking dope That you made the team
Thanks
I'm sorry bro
I'm sorry man
I didn't mean nothing by it bro
Dude I don't live in the past
I think it's dope
You made the squad
I think you could be
On the team now
If you wanted to
You could probably start
Didn't you have like
A whole month
You were obsessed with 9-11
Wow
Yeah So Oh yeah Didn't you have like a whole month you were obsessed with 9-11? Wow.
Yeah.
So.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
What's the real tragedy?
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. See you tomorrow.
Yeah.
Dude, Kyle, I didn't mean anything.
I didn't fucking.
Obviously, you're good enough to start.
It's like you're in a really good program.
TJ, I don't fucking obviously you're good enough to start bro it's like you're in a really good program TJ I don't want them hot mics
to end this
because I'm gonna
say some fucked
up shit
end it hard
end it hard
get us out
get us out It's the act. It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee pop.
It's the act.
It's the act. Thank you.