The Yak - Wikipedia Day Gets HOT | The Yak 12-22-22
Episode Date: December 22, 2022Christmas Special tomorrow...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Welcome to the Barstool Yak.
I'm Nick. I'm here with Kate.
The cat should be walking in any time.
I think Roan is in today.
We're going to have Jerry.
I think we're going to have Rudy.
Oh.
Yes. Yes.
Where are you going to be sitting?
We'll figure out the way he's sitting, but...
Today's Wikipedia.
The most dangerous game.
I'm a little afraid for this, to be honest with you.
Wikipedia is something I made it up this morning.
Can we zoom on me?
A little closer.
A little closer.
Oh, did you shape your beard up?
A little bit.
It looks very nice.
It's Wikipedia.
No, my grandma would be really mad if I have a scruffy beard.
Zooming in.
Welcome to Wikipedia.
The most dangerous game.
Pretty good.
Damn.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Holy shit. I have no idea how this is going to go. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Holy shit.
I have no idea how this is going to go.
It involves fire.
It's not going to be your typical game of Wikipedia.
Everybody has wicks on their desk. I noticed.
Each desk has a few wicks on it.
Scooch one over.
Okay, I will scooch.
I'll scooch one over.
That's an extra wick.
Okay.
Everybody has wicks.
That's all I'll say right now. That's all I'll say rightch one over. That's an extra wick. Okay. But he has wicks. That's all I'll say right now.
That's all I'll say right now.
Tomorrow...
That means scary.
Tomorrow is our Christmas special.
I'm interested to see how it looks in hindsight.
I'm starting to think I was a little drunk.
Same here.
Nobody threw up during.
I was chained to the toilet afterwards. That was a lot drunk uh nobody nobody threw up uh during i was i was chained to the toilet
afterwards that was a lot of eggnog i had a rough time getting home on new jersey transit afterwards
because i said am i gonna be able to make it your stomach is so full after not yours everybody's
just so full afterwards and it's uh it's nuts it was tough. Afterwards, I finally got home, and I was putting my son to bed,
and he normally plays in his room a little bit first,
and I was just sitting in the chair trying so hard to stay awake.
It was like putting slow motion in my veins, all that eggnog.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Rudy, you chose an interesting day to join.
I don't know what I thought.
Big Cat will be in, so just scoot your one over that way.
Yes.
For thumbnail purposes.
Got to have him. be in, so just scoot your one over that way. Yes. For thumbnail purposes.
Gotta have him.
Rudy, we're playing the most dangerous game today.
Cool pants.
Thanks, bro.
I've become such a huge pants guy.
Really?
It's all about the pants.
You do have good pants on right now.
Yeah.
You are, like, sneaky.
Those are, like, military boots.
They're Nikes.
Hell yeah.
I'm stealing valor. I'd steal away. Those are great. Thanks. I got your permission. Oh, yeah. I'm stealing valor.
I'd steal away.
Those are great.
Thanks.
I got your permission.
Now I can get full military garb.
Sorry I'm a couple minutes late, guys.
No, don't be sorry.
It's okay.
No, don't be sorry.
It is the most dangerous game today.
And one winner will get this Pez dispenser.
Okay.
Is that like a good prize?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Okay, yeah.
No, I just... I used to get a Pez dispenser every year in my stocking along with Silly Putty.
I used to get Pez, too.
Tiny cereal box.
But then I started...
I wised up.
I started asking for just the Pez refills because you got the big thing.
Mm-hmm.
Pez is one of my favorite foods.
Yep.
Do you put Smarties in there or am I an idiot?
Put Pez in there.
No, Pez, dude.
Pez is his own candy.
Totally different shape.
Is it?
Rectangular.
I wasn't ever a big candy guy.
Nick always says I'm a liar for that.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody was a candy boy.
When I was young, I used to actually, you're right.
When I was really young, I used to do the thing where I would take a fruit roll up,
like the sheet one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not the fruit by the foot, the sheet.
And then I'd take a whole pack of Gushers and I'd ball the Gushers up and then put it inside the sheet of the fruit roll up. Like the sheet one. Not the fruit by the foot, the sheet. And then I'd take a whole pack of gushers
and I'd ball the gushers up
and then put it inside the sheet of the fruit roll up.
And then encase that in a ball.
It's like an earth.
A wonton.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like an earth or like a soup dumpling.
Most in trouble I ever got.
I've said this on the Yak, I believe.
Is I got a fruit roll up.
Not a fruit by the foot, like the square ones.
Yeah.
And I put it through my mom's laminator.
What?
I was a sophomore in high school.
That's one of those things.
You're just old enough to know it couldn't happen,
but you're still young enough to think that there's a part of you
where you're like, this could tear a hole in the universe.
I just wanted to have it.
What was the goal?
I wanted to have it forever.
No, there was no end goal.
It was a pure curiosity move.
Pure curiosity.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, I appreciate that.
Yeah.
I don't blame you.
I'm the same.
I used to love laminating, and I got a laminator.
It was one of my best Christmas gifts.
I got a hot and cold laminator.
You can cold laminate now.
What does that even mean? I think it just uses pressure. I don't know. It's two different sheets. Yeah. You know about cold laminator. It was one of my best Christmas gifts. I got a hot and cold laminator. You can cold laminate now. What does that even mean?
I think it just uses pressure.
I don't know.
It's two different sheets.
Yeah, you know about cold laminating?
A girlfriend is a teacher,
so I have learned way too much about laminating for that reason.
Yeah, yeah.
I will say there's something very pleasing
about cutting the edges around the freshly laminated thing.
So sharp.
Like a good sensory thing.
Oh, yeah.
Sliding scissors. Yeah. I'm a lefty are you and i've never really been able to capture scissors i had a hard time today cutting wicks you know what i did i borrowed the scissors from your desk
i cut my sweater shorter it was no way it was a thrift shop sweater i said it needs to be a
little shorter and sassier and look at me now now. I look like a total slut right now.
Oh, my God.
Save some for the imagination.
Yeah.
Goodness gracious.
Get your hearts out, fellas.
Rudy, are you flying home?
Yeah, I'm flying home tomorrow.
But it seems like everything's in jeopardy now.
I heard that it's going to be like the day after tomorrow across the country.
Is Brandon still in Wyoming?
It's like negative 50.
No, he's back. But he sent me a picture of his ankle. Not the one that he tweeted, an updated one. It's going to be like the day after tomorrow across the country. Is Brandon still in Wyoming? It's like negative 50. No, he's back.
But he sent me a picture of his ankle.
Not the one that he tweeted, an updated one.
It's broken.
No way.
It's got to be.
It's got to be.
He had that sock line, that sock indent that you wear.
That old people get.
That old people get.
But it looked like he put a braces rubber band around his ankle.
It was so tight.
It was a crevasse.
And it was from falling off the bull.
Yeah.
Same thing.
Damn.
Yeah.
Just a lot of man like you drop him from one foot even one foot in the air.
It's just a lot.
He's one of those types of guys.
Yeah.
I wouldn't say fragile but like I don't think he he can't fall without getting hurt.
Right.
It's sort of like that Tom Segura thing like oh my god he's of the size where if you if you have him fall from even two and a half feet in
the air it could be cataclysmic the amount of gravity that they produce yeah he's a smaller
leg guy like his he gets smaller as you go down oh he definitely does it's like twig like by the
bottom by his ankle so yeah he's's got that Mike Wazowski build.
He's disgusting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All upper half.
I shouldn't talk because I'm the same way.
Yeah.
I'm the same way.
You're all dick.
I'm all penis.
Yeah, you're all penis.
Adam Ferron.
Ferron, hello.
Welcome to Wikipedia.
Hello, Adam.
What the fuck?
Yeah, welcome to...
Scoot one in, actually.
Those are your wicks.
You like this one usually.
You want to trade me, homie?
Huh? You like this chair usually. Do you want this one? Okay. You want to trade me, homie? You like this chair, usually.
Do you want this one?
Okay.
Adam, to be quite honest, I didn't know you were coming in.
I wasn't for sure.
I'm here, bitch.
Yeah.
I hear for sure.
Yeah, he's here.
Jig is up.
No, I'm afraid about...
I have a train tomorrow morning.
And are trains...
What's more affected by snow, trains or planes?
Planes.
Planes.
Planes.
100%.
Planes are usually pretty good, I feel like.
Snow goes on the ground.
Oh, they made a movie about a train that...
Pierces snow.
Pierces snow.
Yeah, you're right.
For eternity.
It was ripping through ice.
For eternity.
We've been talking about that movie a lot lately.
I think we've talked about it every day this week.
It's a good flick.
That was the dumbest movie.
How has everyone seen it?
Why are they all living on a train?
Pat may watch it. Apocalypse.
What? Very Asian.
Engage in some whimsy. Yeah.
It is stupid. I think
I love movies that
aren't good.
I love Hyperviolence.
I love Dread. The movie Dread.
I love Shoot Em Up. That's my favorite.
Have you seen Shoot Em Up? I feel
like I have. It eats a carrot to see better
so he could
before he shoots
he'll like eat a carrot
and shoot
Clive Owen
he kills a couple guys
with carrots
I don't know
but I also
I did hear that
that carrot thing
was a British propaganda
yeah
in the 50s
to sell more carrots
you probably knew that
I did not know that
to make our eye vision
regitating facts
wait to make your vision better
yeah it does make your vision better
are you
what
it does turn you orange
if you have enough, right?
If you have enough, yeah.
And enough shrimp will turn you pink.
Really?
Flamingos.
We're regurgitating all the facts we know from this year.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
You must have fucked with Bullet Train heavy then.
Fucked with Bullet Train heavy.
Yeah, dude, that movie was pretty fun.
Movies should be fun.
I don't want to have to think or cry.
Like the movie The Whale with Brendan Fraser.
I heard it was just cry porn.
You just cry.
Because he's fat?
I don't know.
I'm not going to watch it.
It's supposed to be very depressing.
I'm not going to feel bad.
I'm not going to watch that.
Everyone's like, you've got to see Manchester by the Sea.
I'm like, no thanks.
Fuck no.
That fucked me up bad.
Why would you do it to yourself?
That fucked me up bad.
They should be an escape.
Every movie should have a guy that eats a carrot
before he shoots a gun.
I do like the punishment
in that train movie
where they're like,
we're going to stick your arm out there
and it's going to turn to ice
and we're going to smash it
into a thousand pieces.
That's pretty cool.
I'm having a hard time
even watching any kind of media
that are like movies or shows
that even deal in our world.
I can't even be in our world right.
I prefer to be in Middle Earth.
People always on CBT are like, oh, review this war movie and that one. And I'm like, I can't even be in our world right. Like, I prefer to be in, like, Middle Earth. People always on CBT
are like, oh, review this
war movie and that one.
And I'm like,
I don't watch them at all.
Not interested.
Don't want any part of it.
Like, not my cup of tea.
Have you guys seen Tar?
The movie Tar?
I haven't seen Tar.
I heard it's good.
Is that like the
La Brea Tar Pit one
where they all get stuck again?
Is that what it's about?
Isn't it?
Is it?
I'm asking.
I don't know.
I haven't seen it.
Oh, I don't know.
Is Tar like mud? I've seen mud. No, I've only seen... That's a fun? Isn't it? Is it? I'm asking. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Oh, I don't know. Is tar like mud?
I've seen mud.
No, I've only seen...
That's a fun movie.
Was it?
Yeah.
I was born to sand.
That was a good one.
I think it's coarse.
Or Sahara.
That's a good one, too.
Rough.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I got stretched yesterday.
Actually, I got stretched.
By a pro?
Yeah, by a pro.
You're sitting odd.
I'm trying to... Because they said that I don't sit on my sitz bones.
Dude, my fucking shit curls under and I sit on my sacrum.
No shit.
And I'm bugging about it.
This shit has me fucking.
You look like you just are recovering from a spine injury.
I could sit back like this, but I'm trying to be more consciously sitting on my sitz bones
rather than my sacrum fucking curling under my shit.
And I think that these chairs
are bad for that. Maybe you gotta do
some shit like that.
I was wondering how he was gonna sit and now we know.
That's just dope.
It's like a chiropractor but for
posture that you would see?
They just stretch.
They don't do any...
They're not spine specialists.
But I highlighted my spine problems to them that my back's been hurting. They just stretch. They don't do any... They're not spine specialists. Okay.
But I highlighted my spine problems to them.
My back's been hurting.
Yeah, you have been hurting bad.
I know.
And I'm trying to fix that shit, bro.
You sit tall, Nick.
When you sit up...
I just learned how...
I just was learned from you.
How to sit on your sit bones?
I learned from you, Roan.
I want to buy a posture corrector.
Like, it, like, vibrates every time you hunch.
Damn, do they have those?
Yeah.
They have ones that are like bras.
I heard those don't work.
I used it for like a day, and then I realized I was just wearing a bra.
That used to be most of the Instagram ads at the time.
What are the wicks for?
Let me explain Wikipedia.
Big Cat will have to learn on the fly.
Oh, I don't even know what we're doing either.
It's Wikipedia today.
Everybody look at your desk.
Three wicks.
Maybe four.
Four?
Four.
Ignore the wax wick.
That's a tiebreaker.
How do you tell which one's the wax wick?
The waxy one with the metal base.
I don't have that.
It's a tiebreaker.
It's a tiebreaker.
Don't worry.
Everybody should have three wicks.
Do we all?
Yep.
Yes.
A short one, a middle one, and a long one.
Okay.
Oh, they're different sizes on purpose.
Like we're in the little bear's house.
The house where Little Red Riding Hood was in.
The little one burns in 30 seconds.
I was in here timing them.
The middle one, a minute
And the third one about a minute 50
Okay
Run that by me again, Turbo
30 seconds for the tiniest one
A minute for the middle one
And a minute 50 seconds for the longest one
Everybody will come up here to this hat
And draw three cards
Roan, why don't you come first?
All right.
Take three at once?
Take three at once.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
You know why I haven't even go first?
Because I'm a bitch.
You're my favorite.
I guess I'm a bitch.
Hey, you go last.
Tweeting the episode out.
Ah.
I should probably.
Up.
Uh-oh.
That'll be one of yours.
Roan, go back to your seat.
Okay.
Taking a photo of you.
And open your cards.
Can I say them out loud?
Yes.
JFK.
JFK.
Okay.
Tostitos.
Tostitos.
Okay.
Chip.
Great chip.
I prefer the scoops. Mexico City. Mexico City. You have JFK, Tostitos. Tostitos. Okay. Chip. Great chip. I prefer the scoops.
Mexico City.
Mexico City.
You have JFK, Tostitos, and Mexico City.
TJ, will you pull up Wikipedia?
Oh, here comes Big Cat.
No worries.
Roan is about to start.
You are right on time.
Roan is about to start.
It's the most dangerous game.
It just started.
Can you just explain it to me and Jerry?
I'm explaining. Okay. Jerry? Yeah, go for it. Sorry about dangerous game. We just started. Can you just explain it to me and Jerry? I'm explaining.
Okay, Jerry?
Yeah, go for it.
Sorry about being late.
We're finishing up an interview.
What's up, Rudy?
What up, dude?
These are your three wicks.
All right.
Now, everybody has three wicks on their desk.
The short one burns in 30 seconds.
The middle one burns in a minute.
And the long one burns in about a minute 50.
Rone's going first.
He just pulled three
cards.
Mexico City, Tostitos, and
JFK. TJ has Wikipedia
up. It starts
on the page for Earth.
Roan,
you have to get
to all three of those
things before your fingies get burnt
by only clicking on links on Wikipedia pages.
And it starts with Earth?
It starts with Earth.
So you can divvy up your length of wick to each card.
So if you think you'll find Mexico City the fastest,
it gets the shortest wick.
I think I can find Mexico City the fastest.
Okay, so that would be your shortest wick.
AFK, maybe you think it's the longest.
That gets your longest wick.
I'll take Tostitos as my longest wick.
That probably makes sense.
The lighter.
Wait, for each of us,
it will start on that same page?
I'll start on Earth.
This is going to be hard. I've done these before.
Not the exact same. I've done Wikipedia speedruns.
It's tough, man.
You get in the house Of whores quick
You usually start
On a random article
We're starting on earth
It does help
It helps a lot
So let's scroll through earth
And just see what we see
You can click on any blue word
So when do I
So when do I start
You will start
As soon as you're ready
You'll light the wick
And you'll begin
Okay so everyone
Should be looking at earth
Right now
Can you guys help me
Oh no
The winner
Gets this Pez dispenser.
Oh, fuck.
Is that a dog
on the top of it?
Dog on the top.
Is it loaded?
Jerry, are you following along?
I'm lost.
Okay, well, yeah.
We'll do it a few times.
You'll pick it up.
You'll just do one right now.
I want everybody
to pick their three cards first.
Okay.
Are we just yelling at TJ?
Like, TJ, keep scrolling,
keep scrolling.
Click this, click that.
Oh, my God.
Can I independently help, or am I to be their hands?
I think you should be a non-bias.
I think you should just be, until you go, you're simply a device.
Okay, I have James Bond, Mount St. Helens, penis.
You got to go penis is the longest.
Yeah.
My man. Oh, my God. You got to go penis as the longest. Yeah. My man.
Oh, my God.
You got to find the word penis on Wikipedia.
You have to get to the page for penis.
You got to click through.
You got to click.
Say I have Mexico City.
I looked all these up.
They're all reachable from Earth.
Can TJ do Control F?
No.
I think you should be able to.
We're allowed to do it once.
Once?
Once per page or once the whole time?
What do you have?
One per card.
One per card.
Okay, Control-F is a big help.
It is.
And for the record, I just checked on the page for penis.
I feel like I got three really good ones.
Wait, we can't tell him?
Like, if we're like, find this word, he can't.
Fuck.
I feel like we've got to be able to use Control-F.
The hyperlinks are easier than you think.
It is easier than you think.
The long one's a minute 50 seconds.
That's long.
Gary, what do you have?
That's how long it will take?
The short one's 30.
Oh, okay.
The little one's a minute.
I was thinking these wicks would be gone in like four seconds.
No, no, no, no. Alright. Okay.
I timed them out this morning. Okay.
When I made up the game. Is it better to
hold a wick upside down or straight up?
I did sideways.
Oh. Now,
if you don't get it before it burns your little
fingies, that's a strike.
The person with the least strikes
wins. If it's a
tie, that's why you have your wax wick.
That's the speed round.
You find as many as you can before it burns
your fingies. So let's say it's
Big Cat and Roan.
You guys will pull from the hat, find it, go again,
go again, go again. Whoever gets the most.
And so someone's fingies are getting burnt.
Not even burnt. I tested on myself
on all of these this morning.
You have to watch out for dropping wax, but you'll drop it before it burns your fingies. You gotta get burnt. I tested it on myself on all of these this morning. You have to watch out for dropping wax, but you'll drop it before it burns your finger.
You've got to get burnt.
Okay.
You have to get burnt.
What are we talking about here?
The Yak with Big Cat.
I mean, you have to, like, you could drop it eventually.
Sure.
You've got to get a little bit burnt.
You've got to feel a little bit.
You've got to, like, yelp.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like, ah!
Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, and Mount Rushmore.
I feel like three good ones.
Those are three very good ones.
Forgettable.
Rudy?
First one.
This game is fucking...
Great Wall of China.
Okay.
Easy.
Second one.
Kevin Pitsnoggle.
That's a death sentence.
That's going to be tough.
Kevin Pitsnoggle? Yeah. Do you know who Kevin Pitsnoggle is?'s going to be tough. Kevin Pitsnoggle?
Do you know who Kevin Pitsnoggle is?
Is he a wrestler?
No, he's a basketball player from West Virginia.
Oh, yeah.
He's a legend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, now I remember him.
Pitsnoggle might be the hardest.
Yes.
And then I got Mars.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, Mars.
From Earth?
That's a layup.
I'll pick TJ's.
Yeah, Mars. I got Rutgers University a layup. Rone has his. I'll pick TJ's. Yeah, Mars.
Speaking of, I got Rutgers University, so hopefully TJ can help me with that.
Steve Jobs and Genghis Khan.
Okay.
And TJ, you have Alfred Morris, the veteran, the journeyman running back.
Alf Moe.
You have Quisp cereal.
Oh, fuck TJ.
Quisp?
Yeah. What the fuck TJ Quisp? Yeah
What the fuck is Quisp?
Quisp is great
I've heard of Crispix
Quisp is the blue box
Yeah
Yeah I have Quisp at my house
You have Pokey Reese
TJ you're
Oh no
He's my friend
I'm gonna catch on fire
Yeah you're gonna
You're a flammable ass dude
That's true
Now
So TJ when you go
You should have to come in here.
And then have someone else on the board?
Jerry on the board.
Yeah, me on the board.
After we saw you on Oregon True.
Yeah.
It'll be fine.
Now, who wants to go first?
Should we spin the wheel?
Who goes first?
Sure.
I'm happy to go first.
I'm happy to go first for one.
Are we going to do each of us do one?
Everybody do one.
Yeah.
You get to choose which.
Let's just go in order. Guys, this might fucking suck. I did not know what I was going to do. Oh, I think it's going to rule. Are we going to do, each of us do one? Everybody do one. Yeah, yeah. You get to choose which. Let's just go in order.
Guys, this might fucking suck.
I did not know what I was doing.
Oh, I think it's going to rule.
It's going to be fun.
It's exciting.
The fact that you did something,
that is the test.
Yeah.
The fact that you did something,
it's already a victory
because you planned something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks, guys.
What's on the show?
So, Stephen,
if you're listening right now,
can you please clip whoever goes first so that we can put it out there so people can realize what the game we're playing?
Because I think it is a very good game.
Wikipedia is self-explanatory.
Yeah, totally self-explanatory.
I never used really Wikipedia before.
Yeah.
So we start from Earth, the Earth link.
And you can click any blue links on the page that think you will get closer to your person's page.
Yeah.
Okay.
Scroll all the way through Earth. Can you just do like a demonstration of just like one thing?
TJ, let's get to Jesus.
Let's all get to Jesus together.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Good.
Let's scroll down.
So I would go.
I can't see.
I would scroll.
I would go to like cultures probably of something of those or like.
I think we should scroll way past the intro and get to the table of contents.
You want a table of contents?
I think that's the move you want.
That's what you want.
Yeah.
Yep.
And then you go life on earth, I would say.
Okay, yeah.
Let's go life on earth.
Humans in the environment.
That probably would have been better.
Okay.
And this is wild.
This is burning.
And then I would go down.
I would just go, oh, maybe I would go control F religion.
Oh, yeah.
Probably smart.
Use your control F.
Control F religion.
Control F right to start.
Religion.
I might need to.
Oh. Oh, it's not a laser. But you could do creation myths. Creationists. Creation myths right there. Yep, yeah. Probably smart. Use your control F. Control F right to start. Religion. I might need to. Oh.
Oh, it's not a link.
But you could do creation myths.
Creationists.
Creation myths right there.
Yep, yep, yep.
That, and then you scroll down.
You're going to have to scroll faster to get there.
Yeah.
Jesus has to be on here.
He has to be on.
Control F.
No, you've already used your control F.
So we might need longer wicks here,
but I have more.
We might just have
to use the waxies.
I always get like
where's Waldo syndrome
like at the grocery store.
I can never find
the thing I'm looking for
when I'm working on it.
When you're under the gun,
it's tough.
Then you get to a bad one
and you get trapped.
I think we should do
two Control Fs.
Okay, yeah,
I think that's fair.
I'm glad we did a test.
Also, do you think that maybe people should go in there
and run the board? Control F Jesus
right now. You think you should run your own board?
I think that would be easier. There you go.
I don't know. I think two control F's gives you
a very good chance. Fair shake, yeah.
That's true. Use them strategically. What's a control F?
See, he can just do a search of the whole page.
F is for find. He can type a word
that you ask. Okay, gotcha. Right.
And you get two per thing. Per three wicks?
No, per wick.
Per card, yeah. Oh, okay.
Okay, yeah, I like that. We'll learn along
and we'll have Roan. Roan, do you want to be the guinea pig?
I'd like to go first. What wick are you starting with?
My shortest wick and I'm going for Mexico.
Let's start. We will let... Let's do this.
You light
after your first link click.
Oh, no, I think...
So he can read the Earth page
and really make an informed decision here.
Then I think we should only use one Control-F.
Zach kind of negates it.
You know what I mean?
Okay, yeah, my plan was going to be
to use a Control-F right away on Earth,
so I should...
Whatever.
You guys let me know.
We'll let you browse the Earth page,
and as soon as you tell TJ,
and you light it, he'll click that link.
All right, and then you get one control F on after that.
Okay, cool.
TJ, pull up Earth, please.
You know what?
I think that's the perfect way to do it,
is that you can either get two control Fs,
or you can just browse for as long as you want.
So one of your control Fs has to be used on Earth.
Or you can browse.
Or you can browse, and the other one can be used afterwards.
Gotcha.
That's pretty much the same thing.
Pretty cool game.
So if you wanted to use a control F right now, that counts.
You can do that.
Please scroll.
What are we searching for?
What's your word, yeah?
I'm looking for Mexico eventually,
but right now I'm looking for North America. Something that says
North America. Something that has
a list of the continents. I think going
right to the table of contents.
Yeah. Yeah.
Whoa.
Oh, it's tough. I don't want any of that.
Orbit, moon, geography.
Geography. Geography.
Geography.
It doesn't count as a
count as a link click
because this is just
taking you somewhere else
on the page
yeah
surface size
tectonic plates
tectonic plates could work
there would have to be
something about
continents
cultural and historical
viewpoint
no you don't want that
um
other than climate
could get you there
this is Roan's
this is Roan's decision
oh yeah sorry
no no no
no don't be sorry
I welcome the help.
I don't know, though.
I just saw a link for Thor on there.
Really?
Yeah. Right there.
Giantess often given as the mother of Thor.
It's like,
why is Thor on the front page of fucking Earth?
TJ, this is going to be crazy,
but can you control F Mexico?
Now you got a light.
Now you got a light.
You got a light.
It's burning.
It's burning.
It's burning.
Click on it.
Click on the Gulf of Mexico.
Wait, wait.
Go back.
Find Mexico in there.
Find Mexico.
Yes.
Wow.
You need a Mexico City.
Oh.
Oh, no, no.
Oh, fuck. Find Mexico. Oh, God damn it. You're good. You're good. Click it. Come on. Find it. Find it. Oh! Oh, no, no. Oh, fuck.
Find Mexico City.
Oh, God damn it.
You're good.
Come on, find it.
It's got to be in there, TJ.
Control of Mexico City.
You have another...
Ah!
Your mouth.
Dude, that almost flew right in his mouth.
Oh, my God.
That was a fireball.
It was a little...
I don't think... So, He thought it was Mexico.
I will grant that as a pass.
No strike because you stopped.
You probably wasted nine seconds.
And he was the guinea pig.
He was the guinea pig.
Should I get another one?
You want another?
I'm going to go another time.
Okay, so should I go?
That counts.
No, that counts.
Let's count it.
All right.
And this was a great strategic move because he got rid of his shortest whip. Shortest whip. other time okay so should i yeah that counts yeah no that counts let's count it all right and you
got and you got a this was a great strategic move because he got rid of his shortest shortest work
yeah all right uh i'll go you're up next yeah i'll go uh my this one's gonna be easy so i'm
gonna go uh the first one because i've already seen the word mount saint helens if you go to
earth oh oh you were scouting well yeah i scouted. I'm gonna light right now.
You ready, TJ?
Yeah, what are we doing?
We're doing Mount St. Helens.
Am I Control-F-ing that, or am I looking for it?
No. Control-F Volcanoes.
Okay, he's up. He's going.
Is this the light?
No, it's not going.
No, you need more.
Hold on, TJ. going, right? No, it's not going, Daniel. No, you need more. Hold on, TJ.
Again.
All right.
Yeah, there you go.
Now, Control-F Mount St. Helens.
I think I got it right away.
Boom.
Oh, my God.
He's done.
Wow.
It's dramatic.
Maybe it's too many Control-Fs.
I can't tell.
No, one Control-F, and you could browse Earth, I think.
Okay.
All right.
I saw volcanoes on there.
All right.
I have tiers of, like, easier to, I think TJ got all the hardest.
All right.
Who wants to go next?
JJ, you want to go?
All right.
Come on, JJ.
Let's go.
Here.
This is turning out.
All right.
I got, my thing is called Mount Rushmore.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you can browse and then click and then you light as soon as you say it.
So you want to browse?
I want to browse.
Which wick are you using?
So it's one control F.
I saw volcanoes right there on the fart.
I can't see, though.
Come over here.
Yeah, sit there.
Get right there.
You're going to be able to talk into a mic.
Hey.
Jerry.
Terry.
Browse first. Oh, yeah. Jerry Terry Oh yeah
You browse and then the minute you say the first one you light
And then you get one control F after that
EJ clicks after you light
Yeah that makes more sense
Mount Rushmore is not a volcano right?
No no no
Do you know what Mount Rushmore is?
Okay
Might hurt
Might hurt
Right so
PMT thing
Okay can we go
Wait
Get your mic closer
Yeah
Get the mic closer yeah
Alright
Keep going
Slow down
Slow down TJ
Everyone should be looking at Earth right now
And thinking of their other ones
Oh yeah
Make it faster when they come up
Hold on Oh, yeah. Make it faster when they come up.
Oh, hold on.
Go to the table of contents.
Yeah, yeah. Can we do that?
I thought that would be good surface area.
I'm not sure if that was a good one.
Can we tell them what Mount Rushmore is?
Yeah, Mount Rushmore is in.
It's a mountain.
It's the one with the president's carpet.
President's, yeah.
Oh.
South Dakota.
I thought it was... You know what I'm thinking of? I'm thinking of the thing that people hike a lot.
Oh, yeah. Mount Everest.
Mount Everest. Alright, so
this is the presidents. Yeah.
Alright, so...
I don't like any of those.
Go back up.
Jesus Christ.
We'll go to humans.
All right, you ready?
And now we're going to light.
Now?
Yeah.
You get one control F, so click humans.
Click humans.
All right, go ahead, TJ.
Come on, JJ.
Come on, JJ.
Dig deep.
Slow down.
No, no, no, no, no.
Intelligence.
Intelligence.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I like that
Social okay social social
Contents contents dead. No no you're. Drop it, Jerry. Drop it, Jerry.
Jerry.
Oh, my.
That's impossible.
That was impossible.
That was so good.
Smell this.
Smell this.
As soon as you said intelligence, the jig was up.
It's way funnier if we fail.
Break one for Jerry.
All right.
Break one for Jerry.
Who else wants to go next?
I got one
I think I can run it
Alright where's the lighter?
It's right there
Rowan can you hand it to me?
I feel like social would be a good one
No
That was a bad
Intelligence was a bad strategy
I mean I don't know what the good strategy would have been
But that was a bad strategy
You were fucked
You were fucked
So there was
When you click social
There was creativity
And maybe if it went to art
Sculpture Yeah you had to get to landmarks 30 seconds No way in 30 seconds He's not getting there We're fucked. We're fucked. When you click social, there was creativity, and maybe if it went to art, sculpture.
Yeah, you had to get to landmarks.
30 seconds.
No way in 30 seconds he's not getting there.
That's a tough one.
Yeah, you had to somehow get to landmarks, and that's a tough one to get to.
Whatever, that's your shortest one.
From now on, you'll have more time.
Yeah.
At least double.
My heart's pounding.
I know, so is mine.
Are your fingers burnt, man?
You're blessed.
Turn it off.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God.
I'm really sorry.
I saw you.
I copied Jerry's twist strategy because I saw him do that.
I don't know if that's good or bad.
It looks like it may be burnt fast.
I think it went worse.
Yeah, because I think it's the tire.
Jerry just wouldn't give it up either.
He wasn't even saying words.
He was just looking at his hand burn.
So I'm going to do my shortest one, and I'm going to go for Mars.
My shortest quick, and I'm going to go for Mars.
I think I can get there pretty fast.
What's your plan?
Planets.
So I can browse here.
I'm going to click TJ.
I'm just going to give you the game plan here.
So we're going to go down and see that solar system.
Can be found solar system.
We're going to go solar system, and we're going to catch Mars real quick.
I'm going to try to do this clean.
Oh, this is going to be easy.
No command F on this one.
Clean run.
Okay.
As soon as he clicks, I light, correct?
You light, and then he clicks.
Got it.
Okay, so here we go.
Here comes the light.
Three, two, one, ignition.
Go for it.
Solar system.
Now scroll down. Keep Mars right there. Bang. Oh, that, one. Ignition. Go for it. Solar system. Now scroll down.
Keep Mars right there.
Bang.
Oh!
That was easy.
That was bullshit.
That was easy.
That was absolute bullshit.
That was absolute bullshit.
That was absolute bullshit.
That was bullshit.
I got a really easy one.
I'm going to have to...
Don't worry, guys.
Who has Kevin...
You have Kevin Pit snoggle?
I have Pit snoggle.
My shit...
I'm going to light on fire.
I'm worried that I'm going to somehow fuck it up and cascade into a bonfire.
Yeah, you're going to look like that Rage Against the Machine album cover.
I'm going to try to throw it, and it's going to land in my shirt.
I'm going to catch on fire and then I'm going to run into the tree and the tree is going
to catch on fire.
That would be funny though.
It's a risk you play when you play Wikipedia.
Yeah.
So who wants to run it next?
Kate, Nick?
I think I'm going to do it.
Oh, I gave away my wicks.
Okay.
You fucker.
I didn't know there would be this many people.
That's great.
It's your game.
You get to make the rules.
We could just do one where we have a timer and someone
just approaches you with the lighter.
Yeah. All right. Yeah. Step closer.
We can do that.
Plus, Rudy didn't even use his 30 second wick.
Yeah, I could give you my 30. Yeah, you're
right. It's like a 28 second wick now.
I'm going to use my big
boy for Rutgers University.
For some reason, I feel like that will be the hardest
of the three. For your three again?
Genghis Khan, Steve
Jobs, and Rutgers University.
I don't even know where I'd begin on Earth yet.
So you're doing Rutgers?
Rutgers. That's smart because
the man on the sticks is going to be incentivized.
Yes. Are you about to light that like a cigarette?
She is. Light it with your fingers.
I'm a juggler.
Volume of water.
So I think, go back up, please, to life.
Okay.
I guess that's where I'd start because people is life and people go to college.
Ready?
Go.
Click life.
What are we looking at?
Find people for me.
Find people. Go left people for me. Find people.
Find people.
Did you find people?
There's one control F.
Okay, click that.
Is that my control F?
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Don't click it.
Don't click it.
Just go back up.
Find people.
Sorry.
Oh, no.
No, no.
It's like, God, humans.
Humans.
Oh, yeah.
You should have did humans.
Oh, my God.
Keep scrolling. You want the table of context? I don't even like lighting matches. Yeah, yeah, you should have did humans. Oh, my God. Keep scrolling.
You want the table of context?
I don't even like lighting matches.
Yeah, click a guy.
No, no, don't click a guy.
Living systems.
People.
How can you not find...
Sorry, TJ, but how can you not find people?
Oh, no, you got to get somewhere.
Keep scrolling, keep scrolling, keep scrolling.
Maybe humans are at the bottom.
She's still on home plate.
Oh, my God.
Please keep scrolling.
You got to click something. There's no penalty. For humans. I think bottom. She's still on home plate. Oh, my God. Please keep scrolling. You've got to click something.
There's no penalty.
For humans.
I think you've got to just go with names.
You're being too petty.
Go with names.
He probably went to college.
There you go.
He might have gone to Rutgers.
Yeah, where did he go to school?
Oh, he went to Manchester.
Universities in general.
Yeah.
Who are you?
Graduate school.
Post-graduate.
Graduate.
Why?
Some colleges.
New Jersey.
Maybe we find New Jersey somewhere.
Academic degree. Colleges. Ooh, there's countries. Countries. Countries. Graduate school. Post-graduate. College of New Jersey. Maybe we find New Jersey somewhere. Academic degree.
Colleges.
Countries. Countries.
Scroll down. Countries. I can't see.
My brain's going crazy. Countries.
Colleges. U.S. Department
of Education. Associate's degree. Bachelor's.
Bachelor's degrees. Oh, come on.
Let's go. Bachelor's degree.
Bachelor's degree. Colleges.
Keep scrolling to the bottom. Tunisia.
No. America.
We're going in a circle.
Oh my god. The Americas. No, no, no.
United States. Click United States.
Okay. Keep scrolling. Keep scrolling.
We're getting so close.
Oh, wait, wait. There's a list. There's a list.
Click.
That's New Jersey. New Jersey.
New Jersey. New Jersey.
Click. Click. Click. New Jersey College. There it is. Click. That was electric Oh my god
That was good
That was really good
Was humans just not on there?
She's a people not humans
Did you say to click on Princeton Or did TJ do that unilaterally Was humans just not on there? She's a people, not humans. Oh. Ah.
Did you say to click on Princeton, or did TJ do that unilaterally?
I think TJ pulled through.
Sorry, TJ.
I got a little mad at you.
Oh.
I'm lightheaded.
That was good.
TJ, is Rutgers University logo a butthole?
Dude.
Yep, it is.
That's a butthole.
That's a spokesman.
P.U. I'd piss in that. Yeah, it is. That's a butthole. That's a spokesman. Pee-yew.
I'd piss in that.
Yeah, you would.
Hey, that was super.
Wow.
That was intense as hell.
Thank you, TJ.
Doug Deep there.
I thought you didn't have a prayer.
No, I didn't either. You're so fucked.
Humans really, I didn't think humans would be so tough.
I think since we've gone around through, you just got to click fast.
Yeah.
Don't be picky.
Yeah.
I'm working on that random professor
is what turned the whole thing around.
I had no idea Princeton was in New Jersey.
Yeah.
Really?
What?
That's a true idea.
Oh, it's a lovely place to walk around.
Very expensive down there.
It's my city.
Really?
Well, the suburb directly outside of Princeton.
All right.
Princeton Junction?
I want to go again.
I'm going to try not to.
I'm going to try to do it and not scroll.
What?
What?
How the hell are you going to do that?
Just hit things on the top.
How the hell are you going to do that?
I don't know, but let's try it.
Pass me the lighter.
Which one are you going with?
I'm going to try penis.
Oh, sorry.
That's a shitty throw.
Oh, God.
With your longest one?
No, my medium.
I think the first penis Wikipedia page.
What is it, TJ?
Elephant penis?
Yeah, it's a huge picture of an old elephant.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
TJ, pull up.
I'm not going to make you scroll.
It's a bad strategy.
Oh, it's a terrible strategy.
You don't have to do it.
Scroll on this page.
Let me find the first one, and then I'll try not to scroll.
You have a control search on this one, so maybe humans on this one.
Yeah, give me humans on this one, and then we'll do it.
Okay, hold on, hold on. There it is, Kate.
The thing about penises... I'm lighting it. Penises
isn't going to be right at the top, I feel like. I feel like
they bury the penis. Okay, it's
lit. Humans, click.
Don't scroll. Don't scroll.
Primate.
Oh. They do be fucking... Primate.
You just went away from...
Mammals. Uh-huh. Mammals. I like fucking. Primate. You just went away from. Oh, there's a. Mammals.
Uh-huh.
Mammals.
I like this.
Breasts.
Uh, mammary glands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hell yeah, boys. Oh, shit.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Organs, organs, organs, organs.
Is the penis an organ?
Yes.
You got to scroll here.
I have to scroll.
I have to scroll.
I have to scroll.
I mean, control F penis. Control F penis. Control F penis have to scroll. I have to scroll. I have to scroll. I mean, Control-F penis.
Control-F penis.
Control-F penis.
Is this man a penis?
No.
Control-F penis.
Penis.
Yes.
Yes.
Wow.
Good.
That's fun.
You guys, yeah.
All right.
I like my strategy.
Save your Control-F.
Yeah, that was nice, dude.
No scrolling, because scrolling makes everything go slower, too.
Control-F should almost be for the final word.
Yes, right, exactly.
Smart.
And you got us a bonus boob.
That was fun.
Can we go back to those boobs?
Are we allowed to look at those?
We had an x-ray vision.
We saw under the hood.
Oh, look at that.
It's perfect.
Oh, my God.
Throw me that lighter, brother.
You going?
Yeah.
I'm going Tostitos.
Oh, boy.
Ooh.
I don't even know where I would begin.
Might have to go back to New Jersey.
Where the fuck should I start with Tostitos?
How the hell am I going to get to Tostitos?
Should I try to get to Tostitos? I would...
Should I try to get to Mexico?
It is a Spanish word.
Yeah.
I was thinking maybe go, like, culture, and then you could maybe hit cuisine.
What about football?
Bowl games?
Yeah, bowl games.
That's a good strat.
That's a good strat, too.
Yeah.
Yes to bowl.
Oh, man.
That's not a bad idea.
You can browse Earth
I just need to know which way I'm going to go
Just so I can
Should I go for bowl games?
Are you using your longest wick?
Yes
It's a lot of time
It is a lot of time
Earth, culture, sports
Football
Yeah, I think
You got to think about what's going to narrow it more
Cuisine or bowl games
And there's hella bowl games But there also is hella cuisine There's going to narrow it more, cuisine or bowl games.
And there's hella bowl games, but there also is hella cuisine.
There's more food than bowl games.
Let's go bowl games.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
Bowl games, I think Big Cat's right.
And that's also a pretty prominent bowl game.
Actually, I just want to say Kate did say it first.
Yeah.
And then also. Well done, Big Cat.
Jock ass Kate.
Very misogynistic of you, Rudy.
For the cap.
Oh, I stay being. That man right there, he was right. I stay being misogynistic of you Rudy For the cat Oh I stay being
That man right there
He was right
I stay being misogynistic
Kate Meekly is like
Pole games
Yeah
Kudos to Big Cat for
Regurgit
No you
Listen to Kate
Yeah that's true
Wow
I didn't even listen to a word
She said once
Kate
Hey where are you going to start?
The human geography.
Oh, I know where I'm starting my last one.
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
What are you thinking here, Ron?
I'm thinking human geography is what I'm looking for.
Really?
Where is the Tostitos Bowl?
The Fiesta Bowl?
Fiesta Bowl.
Fiesta, California.
Is it?
Oh, yeah.
Is it always?
No, no.
I don't mean that.
I was going to say.
It's in Phoenix.
Fiesta is Phoenix.
I just assumed.
Fiesta, California.
Sounds like a place in California.
I assumed Fiesta, California.
It sounds like a great place. I'd love to go to Fiesta, California. Sounds like a place in California. I assume Fiesta, California. Sounds like a great place.
I'd love to go to Fiesta, California.
All right, click on Northern Hemisphere.
I would move there right now.
Wait, wait.
I'll be late.
I want to start on Northern Hemisphere.
Smart.
And go.
Click.
Northern Hemisphere.
Look for something like North America.
That's what I want.
Thank you so much.
North America.
Can we go to the table of contents?
The table of contents in North America.
A culture, maybe?
Pop culture sports.
Pop culture sports.
Nice.
Good find.
Big.
Oh, there we go.
Big.
You have football under there.
American football.
American football, and then scroll down to college football.
Oh, God.
I need to relight.
Relighting.
Freeze.
I'm looking for you.
There we go.
I'm not seeing college football.
Uh-oh.
I'm fucking college football on here.
Maybe burn a control here.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay. Oh, college
seasons. Oh.
Where? Who's up there? There's Rutgers.
Oh, there's Rutgers. Wow.
So easy.
Oh, intercollegiate?
Oh, his wick is getting so
small. Shut up.
Roan. Roan. Oh, there we go. There so small. Shut up. Roan. Roan.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
I love this.
Bowl games?
Football bowls.
This is good.
This is good.
Okay, we're in a soft division.
Should we go to...
What state?
Do I want to go to the state or the bowl games?
The team that played in the Fiesta Bowl.
Who played in the fucking Fiesta Bowl?
Oklahoma?
LSU did.
LSU, LSU, Louisiana.
But is this going to take you to the bowl games in Louisiana?
Oh.
LSU.
I guess click LSU.
LSU.
Okay.
Want to search Fiesta Bowl?
Oh, there's bowl games.
Bowl games, bowl games, bowl games.
Yeah, there we go.
Search Fiesta Bowl.
Search it.
Search an Fiesta Bowl. Search it. Search it. Search it, you asshole. Command Fiesta Bowl Fiesta Bowl Search Fiesta Bowl
Search it
Search it
Search it you asshole
Command F Fiesta Bowl
Is that it?
Is that it?
Yes
No you're not there
You need Tostitos
You need Tostitos
Oh fuck me
Oh I lost dude
You lost
Oh dude
You were so close
That was the PlayStation Fiesta Bowl, too.
There it is right there.
To the right.
How many times do I have to say option F?
Where?
Oh, that's Fiesta.
Oh, it's Tostitos.
That's the PlayStation Fiesta Bowl.
Yeah.
I think they stopped.
Tostitos stopped a few years ago.
Shit.
Wait, wait.
Click Fiesta Bowl.
Yeah, could you click Fiesta Bowl?
Yeah, then it will definitely be there.
It's not the Verbo Fiesta Bowl?
I don't see it at all.
Wait.
Well, there's Tostitos
There it is
Damn
Damn
You're so close
Sorry, Ron
Sorry, Ron
Thanks, man
I'm sorry
I really appreciate that, guys
Thank you, guys
Nick, I kind of want to see you run one
You want my 30-second wick?
No, no
I'll go cut some more
I'll cut some more for myself
All right
You going?
I'll go
I got a
Should I go Great Wall of China? I'm going to say Pit Slam. I'll go. I got to... Should I go Great Wall of China?
I'm going to say Pit Snot because I feel like that one's going to be a...
More than Great Wall of China.
Yeah.
I'm going to go my next shortest on Great Wall of China.
I feel like I can definitely get that going.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
The pressure is just so high once it's in front of you.
Like, you watch your wick.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'm trying to think here.
Great Wall of China. Landick. Yeah. Okay. So I'm trying to think here. Great Wall of China.
Landmarks.
China.
China.
China.
Okay.
Can you pull up Earth, TJ?
Let me just take a look here.
Let's take a gander at this.
China should be findable on Earth.
It is.
It's pretty fucking large.
What I'm saying, can you just Option F China and just launch from there?
It'll be two clicks away.
Yeah, you're right.
Option F China, Option F Great Wall of China.
We're done in 10 seconds.
Yeah.
You should run back to 30 second wick.
I think you're right.
Wow, you're getting cocky?
Yeah, I'm going to get real cocky.
Running back your burnt wick already.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
This is asinine.
So...
No China.
No China.
Okay, so let's scroll back up to the table of contents.
I want to see just like...
Why don't you do Northern Hemisphere like Roan did?
Yeah, I think...
Well, yeah.
It is in the Northern Hemisphere.
Northern Hemisphere.
Option F, China.
Yeah. Scroll to Great Wall. Yeah. wall yeah yeah okay so do we know where where northern hemisphere is on that page he's got it right here i like coming
up with the full plan okay okay so i'm gonna light as soon as it's lit go click in northern hemisphere
it's also fun having everyone doing a different strategy yeah yeah yeah yeah okay i'm staying
with my no scroll. That works.
So, look at your wick. Yeah, that was pretty
fucking metal of you. Alright.
This is cocky and it's gonna
this is like an Aesop
payable that you're going to
run it back my 30s. Yeah.
Alright, here we go. 3, 2, 1.
It's lit. Click.
Okay, now go and
control F China. Oh, he's using his control F. Yeah, click China. Click. Okay, now go and control F China.
Oh, he's using his control F.
Yeah, click China.
Click China.
Now scroll down.
He's got it.
Table of contents.
Table of contents.
Give me that Great Wall landmark, baby.
Come on.
You passed it already.
Uh-oh.
I like Imperial China.
Go Imperial China.
Oh, I don't know.
Imperial China.
Oh, no.
Go to military.
Oh, no.
I have another control F.
Oh, there you go. Oh, yes, TJ. You can only use one. Oh, no. Imperial China. Oh, no. Go to military. Oh, no. I have another control left. Oh, there you go.
Yes, TJ.
You can only use one.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot I only could use one.
That was actually kind of a bad strategy, but we got there.
Thank you, TJ.
That was close.
Dude, I have a thimble of wick left.
Jerry, you ready?
Yeah.
Let's go.
What are you going to do, Jerry?
What are you going to search?
I have Gandhi.
He's gone.
Gandhi.
He was Indian, Jerry? What are you going to search? I have Gandhi. He's gone. Gandhi. He was Indian, right?
Yeah.
So you might be able to just find him through North America,
down to India.
All right, TJ.
I'll mute him.
All right, TJ.
He's good. He's good he's good
don't let him
tell you that
can we scroll down
TJ
all the way down
you can go to the
table thing
oh alright slow
I don't like that I don't like any of those to the table thing. Oh, alright. Slow.
I don't like that.
I don't like any of those.
We'll go to humans and the environment.
Ah, no.
Well, that's still within the page, so this doesn't count
as a clue to the page.
Page.
Man, I don't think I should have did that.
That doesn't count.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Culture.
He was a pastor, wasn't he?
Yeah.
Yep, exactly.
He was a pastor.
Oh, he's going.
Are you going?
Yeah, culture.
He's a culture guy.
Human cultures.
You want to go human cultures?
Yeah.
Human cultures.
Human cultures.
All right.
Here we go.
Go ahead, TJ.
Click it.
Human cultures.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, beliefs and beliefs is good.
Hold on.
Who was he?
He was a Buddhist.
He was a Buddhist.
Was he?
Yes.
Beliefs.
Religion, maybe?
Ah, man.
Yeah, go to that thing.
Just belief system.
Religions. Religion. Religion. Religion. We have religions religions okay i would try to i try to run buddhism uh just do just do the gandhi thing f
oh i've gandhi g-h going straight for it oh
g-h oh no gandhi gerry go. Jerry, Jerry. Go through religions.
You're fine. Burned it.
You can get there.
Find Buddhism.
Buddhism, Buddhism, Buddhism, Buddhism.
It's over.
It's dead.
I'm ready to get burned.
Jerry, drop it, Jerry.
Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, drop it, Jerry, Jerry.
We were close.
We were not.
No, we were.
No, we were not.
I'm already getting burnt.
Kate, you want to go again?
You've gone once.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
Let me see how we could have got to...
Buddhism.
Buddhism.
Who did the one where they found all the countries?
What was that?
That was China.
Where did you go for that?
Hemisphere.
Northern Hemisphere, yeah.
Okay.
Hold on.
Is Gandhi not a Buddhist?
I don't think so.
I don't think so either.
I could have been way off on that.
Yeah.
I don't think he's a Buddhist.
He's definitely not a Buddhist.
No.
Why would he be a Buddhist?
Yeah.
Am I tripping?
Was he Hindu?
Yeah, he's Hindu, I think.
At churches, maybe?
I don't know.
Maybe he was.
I didn't know he was like that.
I didn't know he was religious I didn't know he was Religious
I'm not seeing any religion
Was he an atheist?
Maybe he was just
A chill ass dude
He was a chill ass dude
Damn
I think he was just more
Yeah
Yeah Broody kind of
Fucked you there
Roan too
I said he's Buddhist
And you said
Yeah he's Buddhist
How did I fuck you
By asking the questions?
Listen, man, I'm a master of misinformation.
Okay.
All right, Kate, what are you doing?
Northern hemispheres on Earth.
Take me to that northern hemisphere.
What's your word?
Genghis Khan is what I'm doing now with my shortest of wicks.
Wow, confident.
Yep.
Okay.
You didn't click it yet, did you?
No.
I think you can get there.
I mean, I just absolutely ass-fucked Jerry, but I think if you can get there by going Mongolia.
Wait, can you scroll and see if there's a country that's already on this one before we begin?
If you can get Mongolia, it's a wrap.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Yeah.
No, okay.
So go back up to Northern Hemispheres.
Are we allowed to click that?
No, no, is that on the page?
Yeah, but he clicked the link.
You got to go back.
You got to go back.
You got to go back.
Go back, sorry.
Oh, we are?
We are, we are, okay.
Okay, ready?
Click it.
Okay, go down to where the countries are, the list of the countries.
Just go, go, go, and look for Mongolia.
I see it.
It's in the middle.
Scroll down more, scroll down more, scroll down more.
There you go.
Click it.
Just type in Genghis Khan.
Oh, that's good.
G-E-N-G-H.
Uh-oh.
G-E-N.
Oh, there he is right there.
That's not a link. That's not a link. Oh, my God. There. Oh,-N. Oh, there he is right there. That's not a link.
That's not a link.
Oh, my God.
There.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Where's the original link?
Find the link.
Where's the original link?
Get this woman a link.
She got burned.
There it is.
It was right in the beginning.
No scroll.
I thought that was foolproof.
Yeah, that was a fumble.
I mean.
All right.
Who has not failed?
I saw my longest one.
I have not failed.
Okay.
I have not failed either.
I'm going to go again with my no scroll.
DJ, I need you fast.
Oh, sorry.
So we're going to start.
I suck at throwing that.
Wait, that came from you?
Yeah.
My bad.
Okay.
This is going to be very hard, actually, now that I'm doing the no scroll.
I'm a gambler, baby.
I'm a gambler.
I have James Bond.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, I'll scroll on Earth, but then I'm not going to scroll.
What are you going for?
What are you going to try to get to?
I don't. People, culture, movies to scroll. What are you going for? What are you going to try to get to?
People, culture, movies?
Oh, you know what? I saw on here Oxford comma.
Let's start with Oxford comma.
What?
I'm pretty sure I saw Oxford something.
Oh, because you went Oxford.
Yeah, and then I'm going to try to go from England to
Oxford spelling.
Alright, so we're going to start with Oxford Spelling.
That doesn't count as my control F, right?
No.
We're still on the page.
All right.
So, TJ, I'm not going to scroll until I can feel like I can get a control F that will get me something great.
Because you could go from this to British.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
British to what, though?
What are you thinking after British?
Spy?
Whatever's on the top of the page.
Yeah, you're right.
There is no thought process. Luckily, you have this big-ass wick. All right. And a big one. All right. It's on the top of the page. Yeah, you're right. There is no thought process.
Luckily, you have this big-ass wick.
All right.
And a big one.
All right, it's going.
Hit it.
Here we go.
You're holding it a bad way.
British spelling.
University of Oxford, though.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh.
It's okay.
Oh, I can't scroll.
Oh, boy.
What the hell is this scroll?
British English.
British English.
United Kingdom right there.
Oh, no.
United Kingdom.
United Kingdom.
Okay, hold on. Don Okay hold on Don't scroll
Don't scroll
England
England
There we go
Oh fuck
This is a
You got this
Non-scroll
Alright go
Spies
Control F
Spies
That's what
Spies.
I-E-S.
Oh, fuck.
Start scrolling.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
Dude, dude.
Constitutional monarchy.
London, London, London.
London, London.
It's got to be in London.
London.
Give me London.
I've used my control F.
Down, down, down, down, down.
Left, left.
Right there.
Movies.
Oh, fuck.
Good time.
No, no.
I've used my control F. No, no, I've used my Control-F.
What are you doing?
Oh, fuck.
Britain's Got Talent.
I just saw British...
Where are you going?
I saw British Academy.
Oh, wait.
I saw British Film School, too.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
It's gone, though.
Culture.
Literature.
All right.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
Oh, it's got to be in here.
It's got to be in here.
It's got to be in here.
I'm looking for it. We didn't have the Control-F. I've used my Control-F. There you go. It's got to be in here. I'm looking for it.
We didn't have the control F.
I've used my control F.
Oh my god!
Wow, thank you, Kate.
That's crazy.
No scroll is a bad idea.
I thought that was hopeless.
Wow, I can't believe you got that.
The big cat went three and a half.
Yeah, dude. Once you burned that control F, I thought't believe you got that. The big cat went three and a half. Yeah, dude.
I thought that, dude, once you burn that control F, I thought the jig was up.
Spies was a very quick control F, a very big mistake.
Now, Rudy, this is you.
Spies!
I thought you could go from British to Spies.
I mean, yeah, why not?
TJ, do you want to try one on your own?
Yeah, TJ, you want to run one?
I forgot what all of mine were.
Yeah, you have Pokey Reese, you have Quisp Cereal, and Alfred Morris.
Yeah, that sucks, man.
All right, let me get him the lighter.
Quisp Cereal would be a miracle.
Is he going to come in here?
I guess he should come in here, right?
Oh, no, he can control the boards, and he has his wicks in there.
Okay.
I only have this.
You only have that?
Oh, I thought I put more in there no running in the wick
wow okay intense i'll do a pizza hut ad real quick oh yeah
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All right, so what are we doing?
This hour, we're doing this game.
Fast, fast.
Really?
DJ?
Alfred Morris.
Alfred Morris.
Who is that again?
He was a running back for Washington, Dallas.
Was he on the Ravens for a little bit?
Maybe.
He bounced around.
Okay.
He bounced around.
He was best on the Washington team.
Okay, Earth.
Am I using the wax one, I guess?
I put three wicks in there.
I think he said he found them.
I heard a faint, oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
A faint, oh yeah.
He got them, he got them, he got them.
All right, TJ.
So what's your plan, TJ?
I want to go two as college.
When we went to Tostito's Bowl, there was a list of colleges there.
Yep.
Do you know his college?
Florida Atlantic.
Okay.
So you're going to start with.
And then I assume he had a bunch of records there.
He got drafted out of Florida Atlantic.
Okay, so you're going to start with where?
The Northern Hemisphere one.
I think that's the way to go.
And Northern Hemisphere has been up.
That's like the fastest way to countries.
He was on Washington, Dallas.
I don't think I'm going to find it on any of those.
If he was a journeyman, I don't think he has any notable reason to be on any of those.
I mean, his rookie year in Washington, he rushed for 1,600 yards.
Yeah.
That's a lot of yards.
Is that Wikipedia worthy, though?
You'd have to know what season, and then you'd have to click on that.
Correct, which I don't.
2012?
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to use my middle-length one.
Okay.
And your lighting?
Yes.
You want me to do it?
I got it.
Whoa.
That was a good click.
That sounded like a Lil Wayne joint.
I bought that next door and they gave it to me.
It didn't have the safety on it.
They tried to do that shit.
They give you their shitty ones.
You got to be like, no, I want a good one.
Really?
Wait, did I just buy that guy's lighter? The kiosk?
Yes.
Was that the kiosk?
No, no.
It was at the bodega right next door. He's going. guy's lighter. He had the kiosk. Yes. Was that the kiosk? No, no. It was at the bodega right next door.
He's going.
They all do it.
He's going.
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
Is he looking for you, F?
The control F is going to be tough for him.
He's got one hand.
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
What the hell?
Is that him?
Is that him?
No.
Sports.
Sports.
American football.
Oh, he's crushing it.
There we go.
Oh, my God.
Did he go to Rutgers?
He went to Rutgers.
How is Rutgers, like, everywhere?
This is the third time it's come up.
Where did he go to school?
Florida, Atlantic.
I'm about to burn myself.
Alphabet, alphabet.
Alphabet, alphabet.
You're freaking out on the alphabet. There it is. Oh, he'll be in there. Notable alumni. Ow, ow, ow, alphabet. Alphabet, alphabet, alphabet. You're freaking out on the alphabet.
There it is.
Oh, he'll be in there.
Notable alumni.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Come on, TJ.
TJ.
So close, TJ.
Fight, fight, fight.
Power through.
Like a monk.
If you light on fire, it still counts.
Yeah, that's what, like Gandhi, a monk.
Yes.
King Kiffin.
Damn.
Buddhist monk like Gandhi.
Is he on here?
I would, yeah, control F Alfred Morris.
No.
Wow.
Damn, I don't even know how you would have got there.
Does he even have a Wikipedia page?
Yeah, I made sure everybody did.
Okay.
I don't know.
You were in the right place.
If anyone would have it, it would have been the...
Oh, yep.
It's got to be here.
Yeah.
Fuck. He was never a raven. Okay, nine. Jerry, got to be here. Yeah. Fuck.
There's never a raven.
Okay, nine.
Jerry, you want to give another shot?
Yeah, I got the long one left.
Come on, Jerry.
This is it.
This is it.
Jerry, you got this.
This is redemption.
I hit one.
What are you looking for?
Lighter's coming back.
Oh, no, no, no.
What card are you looking for?
Amelia Earhart.
Amelia Earhart. Amelia Earhart.
Very tough to find.
Yeah, nobody has.
Yeah.
You'll be the first.
She was the plane accident.
Yeah, yeah.
Was she blind, too?
Yeah, she was blind and deaf and dumb.
That's why I crashed.
Yeah.
Why'd they let her do it?
What a combo.
Amelia Earhart and Helen Keller.
All right. Amelia Earhart and Helen Keller. Alright.
Worst pilot
ever. Female pilot
crashed into the Bermuda Triangle
maybe? Atlantic.
Yes, yes, yes.
That's where the Bermuda is.
Alright.
So TJ, try to find
Atlantic Ocean.
I think that's the start.
Yep.
All right, Ocean.
All right.
You want to go?
Ocean?
Well, you can click that, no?
Not yet.
When you start, it clicks.
All right.
Stretch that thing out.
Streamline it.
Yeah, you got to straighten it.
All righty.
You've been hanging out too much with Fleming.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Ocean.
Ocean, here we go.
Atlantic.
Muta Triangle.
Or a flight, maybe like expeditions or some shit.
Yeah, expeditions.
I think I...
There's a lot of those in the Atlantic.
It's a famous one.
If you could...
Oh, fuck.
You want expeditions? Expeditions look nice. Yeah, try it. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's a famous one. If you could. Oh, fuck.
You want expeditions?
Expeditions look nice.
Yeah, try.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, that's a challenger.
Specific expeditions.
Is there a specific expeditions? Is Bermuda in there at all?
Yeah, look on the B's.
E's.
Oh, yeah, Bermuda.
Bermuda on the side.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
No.
Patrol F Bermuda.
Yeah, Bermuda maybe.
Let's use it.
Yeah, use it.
Use it.
Use it.
Bermuda.
Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. What the? Right there. Bermuda. Yeah, Bermuda maybe. Let's use it. Yeah, use it, use it, use it. Bermuda. Okay.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
What the?
Right there, Bermuda.
Bermuda, all the way up top.
Bermuda, Bermuda.
Search for Bermuda.
No.
Oh, no.
Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.
Go down.
Just go down.
Why is this a page?
I don't know.
What is this?
Click on it.
Click on it.
Click on Bermuda.
There's nowhere to go.
Okay, Bermuda.
Bermuda.
Yep.
Come on, TJ.
Accidents.
No.
Is there blind woman anywhere?
Bermuda Triangle right there.
All right.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Human error.
Human error.
Human error.
Human error.
Yep.
Wow, you saw that fast.
Human error.
Oh, no. Island weather. Keep looking. that fast. Human error. Oh, no.
Island weather.
Okay, keep looking.
You got time, Jeff.
You got time.
You got time.
He already used his F.
He used his F already.
Disappearing.
Go.
Oh, no.
It's an incident.
Keep going.
No, no, no.
Go back.
Accident.
Yeah, right.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where is she?
Come on, TJ.
I'm running out of time.
Where is she?
Come on, TJ.
Go up.
Oh, no. Keep going down. Keep going. It could be incidents in the air. Where is she? Come on, TJ. Go up. Oh, no.
Keep going down.
Keep going.
It could be incidents in the air.
It's in the 40s, right?
That's boats.
That's boats.
Go up.
Go up.
Oh.
Jerry.
I think it's lower.
I think it's lower.
Where is she?
Jerry goes over.
Damn it.
You were right on it
How is she not like the first one?
Yeah dude
Was she Bermuda?
I don't think it was
We fucked Jerry in the ass again
She was trying to go from
Across
The Atlantic Ocean
I don't think that's where she went
Who said Bermuda?
The thing is that we don't know
Jerry said Bermuda
It was the Pacific
Oh no
Oh no Who said Bermuda. It was the Pacific. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You said Bermuda. I did.
I thought it was.
You were set up to fail.
Every single time.
That's not fair.
Sorry, Jerry.
The chat must be going crazy right now.
It's not the fucking Bermuda.
We've exposed ourselves how dumb we are.
I thought she had crashed somewhere around Hawaii.
Let me look it up.
Where did she...
Let's see where she...
Where did she...
Hawaii?
Did they ever find the plane?
Didn't they?
No, that's the whole point.
I thought they...
Where did she crash?
Howland Islands.
Where are those?
Oh, look at that.
I like it.
Looks like an eggplant.
Pacific Ocean.
Yeah.
Southwest of Honolulu.
Yeah, it's like... Yeah. Yeah, it's like, yeah.
Oh, we fucked you, Jerry.
We made it all the way to there?
She flew solo.
Across the Atlantic.
Yeah, across the Atlantic.
Yeah, and then she tried to do the Pacific.
Gotcha.
Fucking, she got greedy.
Like an asshole.
She got greedy.
Did you guys see that Hawaiian Airlines aftermath of that?
Dude, yes.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
There was extreme turbulence on the flight and
it looked like a fucking war zone really everybody's bleeding the tick tock uh i saw it on
twitter yeah nick when was it a couple days ago it must have been this week it's all the wind and
shit yeah there's been such crazy wind is there yeah i saw it all over my tiktok it was a disaster
yeah it looked terrible i I guess everybody was...
Yeah, this is the video I saw.
This poor lady.
Oh, my God.
She's just sitting there silently just bleeding.
Oh, my God.
Won't find this on a fucking train.
Yeah, Nick, this is not good for your fear.
Yeah, people were bouncing off the ceiling, they said.
Like ping pong balls bouncing all around the cabin.
God damn.
They landed safe, though?
Yeah.
Yeah.
People just got hurt
but no one.
There's some theory
that says that your plane
can't crash because of
turbulence.
Yeah.
No plane has ever
crashed because of
turbulence.
No theories.
Physics.
Yeah.
No.
I saw people saying
so.
I want to see the
first class.
Just make sure the
first class people are
all set.
All the first class
people just have
champagne.
It's like all right
well that wouldn't affect me.
I got pit snoggle.
Oh, boy.
I can run pit snoggle.
Good luck.
I think we've had a path, though, so far for pit snoggle that you can easily replicate.
We can get to West Virginia.
Yeah, so should I go medium or big on this one?
Big, probably.
Probably big.
Probably big.
I have an extra one because I ran my short one twice.
If you make this, you're in the playoff.
Okay.
Against Big Cat.
The Wax Wick playoff.
Oh, man.
So, okay.
Oh, that's this?
Yeah.
You got to hold it?
Yeah.
The hot wax will drop on your fingies.
Oh, boy.
So, I think we go, once again, just the classic strat of going Northern Hemisphere.
And then from there we can get to West Virginia.
I'll go to Northern Hemisphere, America, States.
Yeah, West Virginia.
And then where do you go?
West Virginia University?
Or no.
What I did last time was America, sports, and then I got to college football,
and then teams by state, West Virginia, West Virginia University.
Yeah.
So go to college basketball, and then go to West Virginia,
and then you're going to have to go through teams.
Notable alumni?
Oh, he'll be on there.
He'll be on West Virginia.
Your control F there?
Yeah, was Pitzenongle a legend like that?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, TJ, we got a good strat here, baby.
I don't understand chess.
I think I understand this like people understand chess, though.
Yeah, this is your chess.
You see the board.
All right.
All right, ready, TJ?
Hold on.
Three, two, one.
It's lit.
Go for it, baby.
Okay, you're holding it like an idiot.
Oh, you're holding it wrong.
You're holding it wrong.
That makes the flame higher.
You burnt a quarter of it.
I burnt.
I had a fast start.
Come on, TJ.
Yeah.
What are we looking for?
Oh, no.
TJ doesn't know the alphabet.
He does not.
That is the one flaw.
States.
Just go way, way, way down the states.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
Sports.
And then basketball.
There you go, baby.
College basketball.
College basketball.
College athletics.
I see jump shot.
I don't need that.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Do we have a silky-ass jumper?
No. Okay. College basketball jump shot. I don't need that. Do we have a silky-ass jumper? No.
Okay.
College basketball right there.
Women's.
1.2.
Oh, no.
Why is my flame so fucking big?
Started at low, going high.
I know.
That was stupid.
NCAA Division I.
Oh, you can do it.
There it is.
Oh, yeah.
I played in the...
Big 12.
No.
No, I don't...
Or was it Big East then? Virginia was a big East at the time. Was it Virginia University? Oh, yeah. You're right. Because it... Big 12. No, no, I don't... Or was it Big East then?
West Virginia was the East at the time.
West Virginia University?
Oh, yeah, you're right, because it's Big 12 now.
Find West Virginia basketball, though.
Find basketball.
There you go.
TJ!
Control F, Control F, Control F, Control F!
Oh, there it is.
Oh!
Oh, my God!
Dude, if I just stuck in there and just let myself get more burnt, but I hate fire.
Wait, so you didn't get it?
No, Big Cat won the PES.
Well, I want to have to go again.
You want to go again?
Yeah.
All right.
He has to get it to clinch or else.
Yeah.
Good overtime.
I'll go with the really.
God, I'm such a pussy, man.
So you only have two.
You did two or you did three?
I did three.
You did all three.
But I have my.
Fair.
Whatever this is.
Do you just want to brag?
You want to do a victory lap and do the speed round?
I'm trying to finish off mine. I'm trying to get one. Finish off? Come here. Okay. Over here.. Do you just want to brag? You want to do a victory lap and do the speed round? I'm trying to finish off mine.
I'm trying to get one right.
Finish off?
Come here.
Okay.
You got it.
I'm trying to get a...
Everyone should go three before I go again.
Have you not gone three yet?
Yeah, I need to get JFK.
I stopped.
All right, so yeah, yeah.
JFK is hella gettable.
I think that JFK would go to North America, United States.
Dallas.
President's Day of JFK.
Dallas.
I would have gone Dallas. I'm just going to go assassinated. Presidents, JFK, Dallas. I would have gone Dallas.
I would have just gone assassinated.
Presidents.
I would just go presidents from...
That should be easy.
I was thinking more of a high skill run.
Man, if I had just not been a pussy and just let myself get burned for another five seconds.
That was a collapse.
It was a collapse.
And you started it.
We learned a little bit about physics.
Yeah, I started a bonfire out of the gate.
Kind of smells in here.
Smells good.
North America?
Northern Hemisphere or whatever?
What's Pit Snuggle?
What country is that from?
Boy, oh boy, I don't know.
West Virginia?
Yeah.
Maybe Germany?
American.
Yeah.
Pit Snuggle.
Yeah.
Yeah. That convinced me. It was a pit snuggle. Yeah, yeah.
That convinced me.
It was a pit snuggle with the jumper.
Northern Hemisphere, right there.
With the silky ass.
Skyhook.
It's right there.
The top.
JFK.
Okay, ready?
Northern Hemisphere is really...
It's been getting run through.
All right, it's lit.
Click it. I know a few Northern Hemispheres, really. It's been getting run through. All right, it's lit. Click it.
I know a few Northern Hemispheres.
United States.
Bang.
Presidents.
Presidents, presidents, presidents, presidents.
Leaders, politics.
Presidents, presidents, presidents, presidents, presidents.
Government.
There you go, baby.
You're going to get it right here.
Way down.
Maybe.
Why didn't you click on Joe Biden with presidents? It's okay. I think we're okay. You're going to get it right here. Way down. Maybe...
Why didn't you click on Joe Biden with the presidents?
It's okay. I think we're okay.
He stole that election.
Yeah.
We got graphs and shit?
Let's just control F it.
Oh, there you go.
Gone off Kennedy.
No, the ship came over.
Why did you do that?
Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, Jobs. Technology. How do I get to technology? Live people.
Can't.
Then you'd have to go to dead.
Is he dead?
He's alive.
He's alive.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Humanity.
Technology.
LSD.
Where did he drop out of?
Ashton Kutcher.
Stanford?
Did he ever go to college?
Is he a Stanford guy?
This is where we might fail you.
Yeah.
Apple.
Yeah. I think you should go to technology like cell he a Stanford guy? This is where we might fail you. Yeah. Apple. Yeah.
I think you should go to technology like cell phones.
He was in Bermuda, right?
That was his-
That's where Apple is.
He was also blind.
You would have just lit on fire.
I guess go to humans on the Earth page.
Isn't it like humanity or something?
Here she goes again.
I know.
Water vapor, solar energy,
atmosphere. Humans is on there.
Yeah, it is. Go off humans and find it and start there.
Humans.
Wait, yeah.
Yeah.
Alright, so is that where you want to start? Yeah, I guess I'm going to start humans.
And then as quick as we can, as soon as we get there,
let's start looking for technology.
Okay, ready?
Go.
Okay, we're lit.
Technology.
Do we see it anywhere?
Go to the table of contents.
Okay, revolution.
Tools could have been it, though.
Tools.
No table of contents.
I bet you technology would have been right under tools.
All right, tech.
Technology.
Culture. Society. Tools and technology. Technology, culture, society.
Rules of technology.
Yeah, okay.
Keep scrolling.
Yeah, yeah, technology.
It's just got to be right here.
Computers.
Do you see computers anywhere?
Anybody?
Utensils.
Computers.
Here's a phone.
Computers.
Anybody see computers?
Cell phone.
Modern.
Modern, modern, modern.
Oh, my God.
Okay, computers.
Does anyone see it? Come on, agriculture. Telephone, telephone, telephone. Telephone modern Oh my god Okay, computers, does anyone see it?
Come on, agriculture Telephone, telephone, telephone
Oh my god
Telephone, telephone
Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone
Oh god
I pitched out early
I panicked
Mobile phones, fuck
This was tougher than
How else would be a quicker way to get to them?
I don't know
The problem is that there's just so much tech Yeah, there's a lot of tech What's a quicker way to get to him? I don't know. The problem is that there's just so much tech.
Yeah, there's a lot of tech.
What's a quick way to get to billionaires or something?
They're dead billionaires.
I think that even though Rudy didn't go undefeated,
I think he should still have a seat in the final against Big K.
I also have another wick.
Yeah.
Oh, so you can actually cash that in for a strike erased.
I would like to do that.
All right, so it's tied.
Wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
Big Cat, do you want to start or do you want Rudy to start?
I'll have Rudy start.
I'll be the home team.
I don't have a wax one, but there's one right there, Ron.
Yeah, the wax one.
The wax one.
You have to hold the wax one vertically.
So like this?
Yes.
I think you should have to hold the wax one like this.
Put it on the tip of your peener.
Yeah, like this.
It goes up.
Yeah, so it goes on your fingers.
Oh, you're fucked up.
Okay.
Like this.
All right.
I have to do my last one, correct?
I don't have any.
No, no, no.
Pick a new one.
The speed rounds.
Okay.
Here's like, you grab one, you solve it.
You grab one, solve it.
How many you can get?
How many you can get?
Got it, got it, got it, got it.
I'll hold that.
Here we go.
There is one that's a skull and crossbones.
Okay, can I have the lighter, please?
You get the skull and crossbones, the first thing chat says is what you have to find.
I suck at that today.
Wait, what was that again?
The skull and crossbones in there.
If you pull that, no, we'll say your run is done.
Yeah, I like that.
So I pull one and can I look?
Or do I just go?
No, you go.
So I light and then pull?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
This is a wax wick.
They burn a little bit slower.
Okay.
Get Earth up, TJ.
I might as well go down to the northern hemisphere.
Fuck.
Jesus Christ.
No southern hemisphere shit, huh, Nick?
Huh.
Huh.
Interesting.
It's kind of fucked.
I searched like...
Especially after all those Argentinian titties we saw this week.
You just searched northern hemisphere.
Yeah, I was...
Yeah.
I guess I didn't.
Okay.
We're where we want to be.
Ready, TJ?
Yep.
Three, two, one.
What's he looking for?
Here, I'll pull and say it, okay?
Yeah, perfect.
All right.
Give it to me, baby.
Tokyo.
Tokyo.
Northern Hemisphere countries.
Go to Japan.
Japan.
Alphabet, TJ.
Alphabet, TJ.
Japan.
Go back up. Go back up. Go back up. Capital, probably Tokyo. There it is. There it is. Right there, Tokyo. Alphabet TJ. Japan. Go back up.
Go back up.
Go back up.
Capital probably Tokyo.
There it is.
There it is.
Right there.
Tokyo.
Down, down, down.
Down.
There.
One.
Next one.
Next one.
Stonehenge.
Stonehenge.
England.
Countries.
United Kingdom.
You do this part, Nick.
You pull.
United Kingdom.
U.
U.
U.
U.
U. U. U. E. E. England. England. England. E. E. United Kingdom you you you you you you
you
E
E
England
England
E
E
E
Wax is on my skin
Stonehenge
Is it Stonehenge in
It's in England
It's in England
Or is it in
Oh it's in England
I've been there
Where is England
Where is England
It might actually be
United Kingdom
I got hella wax on me
right now
Europe
What about Europe
up at the top there?
It could take you there through Europe.
TJ.
Hopefully me.
I just...
I didn't even... Oh, TJ.
There's no way.
Keep going down. Come on. A little bit faster.
Waxy-ass dude.
Ow!
Come on, Rudy.
You got one more. You got to get there.
Get there.
Get there.
Get there.
So I don't even know what we're looking for.
How is England not on here?
I don't know where to go.
Go down.
Go down.
Go down.
His brain froze.
Why are you in geography?
Ow!
Okay, it's over.
Okay.
You have to beat one.
Oh, man.
That looks...
But it could be very hard.
Yeah.
DJ, I'm going to say
we both lost that one.
Or it could be
skull and crossbones,
which could mean
that Rudy wins.
Rudy wins.
That would mean
run is over for me.
You are right.
I don't know why England
or United Kingdom
wasn't on that country list.
That was weird.
That was weird.
Yeah.
Where the fuck is it?
I wasn't looking at it, right?
You're up.
I'm looking at it.
I don't see it anywhere.
Here we go.
Where the fuck is it?
Stay around the countries.
It was under mostly.
What the hell is mostly?
It probably owns something that's outside of Europe, right?
Yeah, like the islands that they have.
Where Amelia Earhart died.
Yeah.
Wait, stay in countries.
Stay in the countries before I let
You have to go to Earth
Oh
Okay, so yeah, you know how to get to the countries
Yes, sir
Alright
Everyone is lit
Lit
I'm lit
George W. Bush
Okay, America
United States
United States.
United States.
Presidents.
Government.
Scroll down, find George W. Bush.
He's in there.
Down, down, down. What happened?
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
What's happening?
There'll be a whole list.
Highline of presidents.
Go up.
Life list.
There you go.
You got it.
This is hot. Go, go, go, go. Come on. Get me there, whole list. Highline of presidents. Go up. Life. Last thing. You got it. Ah.
This is hot.
Go, go, go, go.
Come on.
Get me there, TJ.
George W. Bush.
Back to earth.
Istanbul.
Istanbul.
Go to Turkey?
Yes.
Turkey. Turkey.
Find me Turkey.
Istanbul.
Where is it?
There it is.
Go again.
Woo.
To win.
He's just running it up now.
Gary, Indiana.
Gary, Indiana.
Go to the United States.
It's getting close.
United States.
States.
I'm the States.
Tickling his face.
I'm the States.
I'm the States.
I'm the fucking States.
Civil War.
Go to Civil War.
Indiana fought in the Civil War.
States. geography of the United States. Geography of the United States. Very tough. Very tough. Geography in the Civil War. State.
Very tough.
Very tough.
The United States.
Indiana.
Indiana.
Oh, fuck.
Ah.
Damn it.
Wow.
Good run.
Good run.
The cat is the winner.
Oh, fuck.
That gets hot at the end.
It does get going. It gets going big time. Oh, man. Drew Pez. That gets hot at the end. It does get going.
It gets going big time.
Oh, man.
That was awesome.
That's thrilling.
What a game.
What a game.
Nick, you absolute bastard.
Dangerous.
Nick has to go once.
I'll go.
Yeah, Nick has to go.
You want to do both of your East, Nick?
No, he's got to go speed round.
Yeah, well, if you beat Big Cat, you're the final boss.
So if you beat two, you actually win.
You win the PES.
I'm going to take the skull and crossbones out.
I ignored the skull and crossbones for you.
It's good in theory,
but it's going to suck.
There's four left.
This isn't as long as I thought.
Are you ready?
Put it by the tip of your finger
so it's thinner.
Alright.
Yeah, no, my fat fingers didn't help.
Nick, you tell me if you want
Northern Hemisphere
or you want me to find something else.
Yeah, I want Northern Hemisphere.
Alright, tell me when it's lit.
It's lit.
His first clue is
The Lord of the Rings.
England.
Is there a Wikipedia page
for Nick's tattoos?
United Kingdom.
UK.
Culture.
England, yeah.
Gotta go literature, literature.
Folklore.
Literature.
Literature, literature, literature.
Literature right there.
Literature, literature, literature.
Oh, fuck, I blew it out.
I forgot what we're looking for.
Lord of the Rings.
Oh, the wax.
It might be on here.
It might be one of these.
They are Tolkien. Tolkien, Tolkien, Tolkien, Tolkien. Lord of the Rings. They are a token.
Token, token, token.
Lord of the Rings.
Next one, next one.
Big Ben the clock.
Go back to London.
Wow, you're right there.
Great Britain, go back up.
They're in England.
England, London.
England, London.
It might be on here.
Search it.
Search it. Big Ben. England, London. It might be on here. Search it. Search it.
Search it.
Big Ben.
Search Big Ben.
Oh, no.
Quick City of London.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Elizabeth Tower.
Big Ben.
Elizabeth Tower.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben.
Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben. Louis Arch! St. Louis Arch! Back! Back! United States! United States! List of states! Missouri!
Oh, fuck.
Hold on, Nick! Hold on!
Ah, fuck!
It gets so hot at the end!
I have some more wax ones if anybody wants to go.
No, you guys have to do a runoff.
You both got two.
That's true.
Big Cat wins.
Oh, I don't want to.
Nick, if you want to do a classic one, I got one extra.
You got a classic?
Yeah.
I have a real long one.
I have longer waxes.
It's if anybody wants to run.
Okay, you have a wax?
Jerry, why don't you get a pair?
You do the wax.
Do the wax, Jerry.
We got to get Jerry a wig.
You got to get Jerry a wig.
I'm not very good at this.
No, you're good.
No, we got to get you a wig.
We've been butt fucking you.
Yeah, we just.
There's two wax.
We should have done wax the whole time.
That was.
Let's see if you can get two, Jerry. Jerry, the ass
fucking stops now. I have so many
if we want to... This round is zero help.
Zero help? I'm going to see what I do with zero
help. Okay. Alright.
What is it? Alright, start at the countries and then I'll say it.
Well, I'm going to start at
countries. Well, that's where the
northern hemisphere. What's the thing?
You got to light it and I'll tell you.
Where's the lighter?
Nick, you got the lighter, Nick?
Yes.
I think we're one for like seven on throws.
All right, Jared, you got this.
No help.
Helpless round.
All right, tell me when you're lit.
Well, tell me what the thing is.
No, you have to light.
What's the question?
What's the...
Okay, all right, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2.
Why couldn't I know that before?
I'm telling you right now. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2.
Can't help him.
I can't help him.
You tell me, Jerry.
Alright.
Let's go to
Out of the Gate Slow.
We're going to go to Northern Hemisphere.
No helping.
We're going to go to Northern Hemisphere. No helping. We're going to go to United States.
Yep.
We're also going to go to the table.
We're going to go to slow a little bit.
No helping.
No helping.
Cinema and theater.
We're going to go to...
Is there actors
you know who tony hop skateboarder i know what i'm doing uh uh keep going
uh hold on hold on right there hold on
uh fuck oh i see it i see it I see it. I see it. I see it.
I'm not going to help.
Read it.
Just read it.
Read under mass media.
Video games.
Video games.
Video games in the United States.
Skateboarding is there on...
Keep going.
Oh, come on, Jerry.
Going down.
I'm dead.
It's burning.
Jerry, go the years.
Stop helping him. Okay, sorry. PS2. Down. Left. PS2. Down, it's burning. You're not there. We go the years. Yeah, uh 2000 helping him. Okay. Sorry yes, two
Down left yes, John left down left. Yeah
Come on you can use your Google you could use your search monk man f command f man f Tony boarding skateboarding
I'm dead. Command F, skateboard.
Jerry.
Wait, we can't leave until Jerry gets a dub.
We cannot.
Give him the loose one. I got a loose one right here, Jerry.
Jerry's going to walk out burnt to a crisp.
Maybe switch hands, Jerry.
Oh, man, that's bad.
Yeah, that one's bad.
All right, Jerry, I got the last one in the hat. Oh, man. That's bad. Yeah, that one's bad. Oh, my God. All right, Jerry.
I got the last one in the hat.
Oh, dude.
I'm blistered up.
Pour some water on that.
Oh, my God.
Jerry holds on to the bitter end.
The bitter end.
I'm trying to get one, man.
I think he likes it.
What's the name?
Sprite Remix.
Oh, what?
All right.
Sprite Remix.
That's obviously drinks.
Yep.
Do you want help on this one, Jerry?
Yeah, I need help, yeah.
Okay.
Do you want to go to America, Jerry?
Yeah.
Okay.
Let me know when you're lit.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Get this man in the a United States there we go
Food and beverage culture culture food and beverage
Fry right there drink drink is up there. I seen drink. Oh right there Americans drink. Oh now
fast food
foods
Yeah, fast food. That's food. Yeah, look at that. There's a coke right there. I'll drink there you go. There you go
Come on here. We go Jerry
Yep, right, but you gotta get remixed right remix. Okay your command. There it is. Tropical remix. Yes, Jerry.
Good job, Jerry.
I literally was no help there.
Of all the ones. You already said a word.
Say one more.
Of all the ones, I feel like Sprite Remix is actually pretty good.
That seemed pretty good.
Yeah, it was.
That's a hard one to get, I feel like.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, dude.
What's the drone doing right now?
Oh.
That thing went down like Amelia. Oh. Oh, we got to spin the wheel. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. What's Ron's doing right now? Oh! That thing went down like Amelia.
Oh.
Oh, we got to spin the wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, man.
You all right, Jerry?
Yeah, I'm done for the day.
You're done doing...
Skin is peeling off his fingers.
You're done getting burnt for the day?
Yeah.
Jerry, did you buy your flight for the Arizona Bowl?
No.
Oh, we got to get that.
No, no, they did.
Oh, okay, you're good.
Yeah.
You're coming.
Yeah.
You're doing, so you know that everyone, by the way, tune in, Barstools TV, December 30th, 430 Eastern.
Jake, Dave, myself on the call.
Ronan, Caleb doing the sidelines.
I have the craziest flight.
Really?
Like leaves at like 5 a.m.
And then coming home, I hop on the plane at like 1.30 in the morning.
Oh, geez.
That's weird.
Jerry, though, is going.
So Ohio has like a famous guy who goes out and grabs the tee after kickoffs.
Jerry's actually bleeding.
Blood coming off his finger.
Ohio has a famous guy who grabs the tee for the kickoffs.
Jerry is doing it for Wyoming.
Hell yeah.
Just Wyoming?
Yeah.
That's cool.
That is cool.
There's a hole in my finger.
It's like an actual divot hole.
Yeah, you burnt a hole.
Oh, man. You went for it. It's a an actual divot hole. Yeah, you burnt a hole. Oh, man.
You went for it.
That was a great yak.
Fun.
That was a great one.
For me.
Yeah.
I had a pretty good yak, too.
That's true.
Steve, did you have a good yak?
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, he did.
All right, Christmas special tomorrow
Eggnog we're all going to be drinking eggnog
Eggnog it is one of my favorite episodes
We've ever done the spirits were very high
We'll start at one o'clock while some clips
Will tweet out and then we will
See everyone next year so January
Second
Third January third
We'll be back in studio
Start of season
Ten Nine season nine January 3rd. January 3rd, we will be back in studio. Start of season...
10?
9?
10?
9.
Season 9 starts January 2nd.
3rd.
It's going to be the best season yet.
We're going to get...
The start of January...
Or the start of the new season,
we're going to watch me break everyone's kneecaps.
Yep.
Definitely going to get more extreme.
All right. See everyone. Staycaps. Yep. Definitely going to get more extreme. All right.
See everyone.
Stay safe.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! It's the act. We'll see you next time.