The Yak - Will Compton and Kyle Long Help Celebrate YAKSGIVING With a Draft | The Yak 11-22-23
Episode Date: November 22, 2023Define sci-fiYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Uh,
hello boys.
It is.
Oh,
wait,
what is that?
What are we?
That wasn't me.
What is that?
What is?
Oh,
there it is.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, yes. yes so yes for everyone to understand we are uh in real time we're on we're on thursday before
uh thanksgiving you're watching this on wednesday we're pre-taping it for the people because we
wanted to let producers and everyone get away for the holiday. But we have a special Thanksgiving episode for everyone.
And Mark Titus is dressed like a turkey.
We're going to eat his ass later.
I guess we are.
I'm down for that.
Gobble it up.
Great.
What's up, boys?
Hey.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I haven't talked to you guys.
Yeah, happy Thanksgiving.
It's been a while.
I haven't talked to you since I gave you that Ravens pick, and they won by 10.
Kyle, if they don't win that game.
If they don't win.
They won already.
I already won.
All right, all right.
They won by 10.
Good, I'm fluid.
They won by 10 plus.
I won a lot of money on that game.
10 plus.
I didn't lose a lot of money.
Yeah, and you blessed me.
I blessed you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah, guys.
I'm thankful for you all
What do you guys
Should we debate a Thanksgiving meal?
Debate a meal?
Stuffing or dressing?
I call it dressing
I call it dressing
I'm trying to pop
Put all the Thanksgiving meats
And ingredients in a dinner roll
Stuff it in and eat that
Oh I love that
That sounds good
You know what no one ever says
Around Thanksgiving time on social media?
Leftovers are awesome.
Holy shit.
I love when someone's like, dude, actually the best part is the leftovers.
I like beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes.
Yeah.
When you go on the walk with that one cousin.
Do you mean to make that a poem?
No, I just did it.
That's what I like.
I like beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes. Bam, bam just did it that's what i like green i like beans screens potatoes tomatoes
oh that's a thing uh brandon and i had a debate of uh we were we were kind of on the same page
but i do this this happens to me every year okay so we don't need to do it then no it does it does
i wanted to talk turkey you just you don't want to you might have to talk turkey you're doing that
song uh reminding me we went pft and i once went – there's a place in Brooklyn, I want to say,
where people just go and buy live turkeys
and then slaughter themselves for Thanksgiving.
It was wild.
How comfortable would everyone in this room be
if you got assigned turkey duty for Thanksgiving?
Cutting?
Cooking?
Yeah.
Couldn't do it.
I could do it. I could do it.
I've done it.
You deep fried, I bet.
That's dangerous.
Do it right now, then.
I can't.
That's what I thought, bitch.
We don't have a stove.
We don't have a stove, bitch.
Okay.
Zero oven.
It's not hard.
Yeah, my rule on Thanksgiving is to watch football,
be mad at my bets, and then I have to do the dishes.
That's your Saturday.
Yeah, right.
It's just like then you do the – you're the guy. If you don't help at all with the meal, you got to do the dishes. That's your Saturday. Yeah, right. It's just like then you do the – you're the guy.
If you don't help at all with the meal, you've got to do the dishes.
We are hosting Thanksgiving this year.
The house I'm renting here in Chicago is big enough to, like, host my family,
so I'm excited to have everybody up.
And I did that so I wouldn't have to travel.
Now I realize I have all the responsibility.
I am just buying everything.
I'm buying everything.
Costco, pumpkin pie, getting the turkey from – yeah, we're catering. I bet you the responsibility. I am just buying everything. I'm buying everything. Costco, pumpkin pie, getting the turkey.
Yeah, we're catering the turkey.
I bet you there's a place you can just get everything.
I wonder if I'm trashy because you just said do the dishes.
But my family, I do paper plates on Thanksgiving.
That's smart.
Listen, no, you're not trashy.
Okay.
Because I have been the two things, if I could change, about my family life. And and this is pointed at my wife and it shouldn't be, but it is.
I think we should be a paper plate.
I also think our garbage can in our kitchen should be one of those big ones they put in the alley.
Oh, yeah.
Oversized.
What's the brand of that?
Yeah.
Their good ass can.
I used to have two of those in college and you'd only have to take out the trash like once a month.
Your apartment probably smelled like shit.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
It was disgusting.
There are some pros to doing the dishes.
What are they?
No.
Name one.
Well, you can be doing the dishes while your wife is getting the kids ready for bed.
Oh, no.
See, it's dishes in there.
And you kind of get to just chill. Like, hey, I'll get the'll get the bottle i'll bring it up you go get them started for bed i'll
yeah i'll clean up a little bit down here and then you just got some are you just using it as a
shortcut to pussy like she's getting the kids to bed you're doing the dishes and then pussy is the
end result is that what you're saying yeah i mean sometimes it works out like everything everything
we all no no no not thanksgiving bro i'm Bro, Thanksgiving has to be the least fucked day ever. There's not a fuckable day.
It's a fartable day.
It is literally the 365th day that I would want to fuck.
When do you bust out the china if not on Thanksgiving, though?
The china.
I don't.
And to be clear, I'm talking just like any casual day of doing the dishes.
There is some upside to doing the dishes.
I don't like touching wet food, man.
Rank your top things to dishwash.
Best to worst.
Tear it.
Good question.
I think plates.
Why are you closing your eyes?
Plate is the best.
I'm trying to use my imagination.
Or is bowl the best?
No.
Plate's the best.
No, bowl can get the splash zone.
Yeah.
Plate's the best.
I mean, if you're –
Submit it.
Small glass is definitely the worst.
No, the move is – No, I mean, if you have a Just admit it. Small glass is definitely the worst. No, the move is.
No, I mean, if you have a dishwasher, you just wash it out, drop it in.
No dishwasher.
The bowl that you wash by hand to save room for the dishwasher,
because there's nothing worse than having to do the double.
So, like, you finish half of them, and then you're like,
I have to come back and do it again.
Yeah.
I'll just clean shit by hand and throw it back.
I like doing skillets.
Oh. No, nobody likes doing skillets. Throw some soap in there, and you just get to hit the circle throw it back. I like doing skillets. Oh.
No, nobody likes doing skillets.
Throw some soap in there and you just get to hit the circle motion.
Yeah.
A lot.
Wash it off.
You know what I mean?
I'm with you.
Wait, is Thanksgiving the least fuckable day?
I think it's the least fuckable and-
I was going to say, you brought up it.
That was a good one.
Football notwithstanding, I think it's the earliest day I want to go to bed.
Yeah, the night game, they kind of ruin that.
I think it's the earliest. You got to stay up for it. I the night game, they kind of ruin that. I think it's the earliest.
I think I want to get to bed at like 7 o'clock on Thanksgiving.
It's the least fuckable day.
What else?
You're quizzical.
Doesn't binge eating make you horny?
9-11?
Does it?
That's only in 01.
Does what?
Maybe 02.
Everyone, like you spent all day like carbs, being sad.
Does it make you horny?
Makes you want more.
You think in human history that's one of the least fuck days 9-11 not in human history i would say before 2001 i imagine no one really paid average
day yeah it was just another day grief is a aphrodisiac you learned that in wedding crashers
that's true yeah maybe how much of your life have you learned from wedding crash a lot
a lot literally like yeah I already told that story.
No, go ahead.
Tell it again.
You lost a lot of good men out there?
I'm hung up on the most fucked day.
I thought I'd have an answer.
It's Thanksgiving.
It has to be Thanksgiving.
The least fucked day, I mean.
You just stuff yourself with food.
You're farting on the-
So Valentine's Day is the most fucked day?
Family's around.
Family's around.
Most fucked day?
Maybe.
No, because you have to be in a-
Two years?
No, it's Valentine's Day.
I know.
I'm throwing out other...
Single people don't fuck on Valentine's Day, but I think single people fuck on Halloween
because they're drinking sexy costumes.
I'm throwing out ideas, Brandon.
I also think July 4th might be in the running.
As a fucked holiday?
Yeah.
It's hot, summer, people are partying.
You fuck on July 4th.
I think that's more of a fingering one during the fireworks.
Yeah.
I could see that.
That's probably the most... Dirty fingering. Fingered somebody during fireworks? It's a long day. What? Have a fingering one during the fireworks. Yeah, I could see that. That's probably the most dirty finger.
It's a long day.
What?
Have you fingered somebody during fireworks?
Oh, yeah.
I've never watched fireworks without a finger in my mouth.
It masks it.
Yeah.
If fireworks are on, it's like Pavlov's dogs.
They just put my finger right close to his pussy.
That was the best time to touch.
Someone got a pussy?
The fireworks?
Yeah.
You're sitting on a blanket?
Yeah.
No, it's Valentine's Day.
What about...
No, man.
Yeah, it's got to be.
Come on.
That's just people in relationships.
No, single people try to fuck on Valentine's Day.
It's a mistake, but they do.
It's a big mistake.
I think Halloween might be more fucked.
New Year's?
Is New Year's not?
Oh, no.
It's definitely fucked.
Good point. Valentine's Day. Good one, Tit not? Oh, no. It's definitely fucked. Good point.
Valentine's Day.
Good one, Titus.
Yeah, good one.
Probably above Halloween.
But people in relationships and single people fuck on Halloween.
What about Columbus Day?
People don't really drink on Valentine's Day.
It's not a going out day.
I do fuck indigenous people.
The clothes, the scantily clad women.
Fair.
I don't know, though.
I don't know.
I like this conversation.
Toward the bottom bottom i would say
you could throw easter in there i could be sweet yeah easter's not fucked yeah yeah any sunday is
it's hard to fuck saint patrick's day fuck you christmas i think weirdly might be fucked because
you're kind of like you're all together yeah and you also like i feel like jerry would have happy
to play with their toys yeah christmas eve christmas eve gifts is that what you're saying
i don't think that you fuck on christmas correct're saying? I don't think you fuck on Christmas Eve.
Correct.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you don't fuck at all on Christmas Eve.
Kyle and Jerry are here.
We're having a debate.
What's the most fucked day?
Most day where people are having sex in the least.
Because I said Thanksgiving has to be the least fucked day.
It's the day where the least sex is had.
Have you guys ever fucked on Thanksgiving?
I would say Thanksgiving is the least sexy as everybody is.
Yeah.
Maybe 4th of July. Oh. 5th of July. He said most fucked on Thanksgiving? I would say Thanksgiving is the least sexy as everybody is. Yeah, right.
Maybe 4th of July.
Oh.
5th of July.
He said most fucked was 4th of July. No, no, that's what I'm saying.
Oh, most fucked.
Yeah, yeah.
Tans were out.
What about Valentine's Day?
Yeah.
A lot of J-O.
I like this.
We have more love doctors in here.
More sex on Halloween or Valentine's Day.
You can say it.
Can birthdays count?
A lot of J-O-ing.
Because I would say birthday sex would.
It has to be one single day.
One single day on the calendar.
I would debate that New Year's Eve is higher than Valentine's.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I don't know.
Also, is New Year's Eve a holiday?
Yeah.
Yes.
I mean, it's pretty.
It's New Year's Eve is a holiday.
Okay.
New Year's Day might be low.
New Year's Day probably is low.
Yeah.
Although horny, like hungover sex. New Year's is probably is low. Yeah. Although horny, like hungover sex.
New Year's is probably the most overrated holiday.
Yes.
100%.
September 9th.
We hated it when we played.
So nine months back.
Oh, yeah.
New Year's.
The most fuckable.
What's the most common birthday?
What's nine years back?
Is this anybody's birthday?
Yeah, it's January.
It's January 1st?
Yeah.
Right?
Why September 9th?
I don't know.
Because it's the most common birthday.
Is people fucking on New Year's?
Or people having sex on their birthday, you mean.
Why do you keep saying birthday?
It's birthday.
Happy birthday.
But that's the most common.
You don't have sex on the day you're born.
The most common day to be born.
Yeah, but when you're 13 years old having sex, that's the day.
Birthday sex.
When you're how old having sex?
13.
16, 17, 18.
You chose a lot of wrong numbers.
But that's a birthday.
You understand?
No.
We're talking about the universal day.
Like what day has the most people having sex?
Their birthday.
No.
That's not a day.
That's not a goddamn day.
That's not a day.
On your birthday. Your birthday is not the day. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I'm not having sex. I's not a day. That's not a goddamn day. That's not a day. On your birthday, I'm not having sex.
To say it more clear, their birthday.
But on Halloween, I bet you were both having sex.
Nick explained it the right way.
All right, well, TJ, look this up.
So wait, so September 9th might be because it is the most.
Yeah, that's what my guess is.
No, September 9th.
No, what about prom night?
No, but it's the kids.
That's not a day either.
The kids are all doing it. That's not a day either.
If the birthday is September 9th, you're not fucking on September 9th.
You're fucking on New Year's. No, no, but what he's saying is September 9th is the most birthday.
The most people fucked on New Year's.
But they fucked on New Year's.
If your birthday is September 9th, I know what he's saying.
Time out.
What Jerry's saying is September 9th is the most common birthday in America.
Which means they're getting the most birthdays. The most birthday sex happens is September 9th is the most common birthday in America. Which means they're getting the most birthdays.
The most birthday sex happens on September 9th.
But that doesn't overcome the holidays.
But everybody else is a way bigger population.
Yeah.
The most birthdays.
The most birthdays.
They're all the big populations having sex on like New Year's.
The population of people born on September 9th is like 9%.
Yeah.
That would be the most birthdays. I think it goes New Year's. What? Way more than 9% of people born on September 9th is like 9%. That would be the most birthdays.
I think it goes New Year, Valentine's Day, September 9th.
Way more than 9% of people fuck on.
You're so hung up on Valentine's Day.
You're forgetting about single people.
This is great because this is a Thanksgiving episode.
You're just thinking about sex.
It's about love.
No, it's not about love.
It's about fucking.
Love day.
This is great because this is our Thanksgiving episode,
and we're just mimicking a family at the table just arguing random shit.
You guys want to talk politics?
Yeah.
We should have done it.
Next year we should do an entire thing.
Is 45 still running?
Yo.
That's your guy.
He should still be president.
47 coming up soon.
Here's my thing on the Middle East.
Yeah, Valentine's Day I disagree with do you guys know the
anti-abortion Spider-Man who
climbs the tall building yeah
yeah he's still doing well he climbed
Sears Tower not too long ago he's a
pro-life Spider-Man oh that guy's pro-life
it's crazy to put your life in extreme
danger to show how important
life is dude I watched
my son watched a video
the other night with him where it was just
GTA recreations of Spider-Man
just killing people.
I was like, this isn't right for a four-year-old.
He's like, I love this.
Fuck.
New GTA coming out.
YouTube is going to poison your son's brain.
It's bad.
Skibbity Toilet.
Skibbity Toilet.
It said that. Did you say that?
That was me in the booth. Bro, that guy
is... What's Skibbity Toilet? Skibbity Toilet is the
most popular thing with Generation Alpha right now.
It's Gary's Mod,
which is like a computer game, and
they take the models, and there's like a head in a toilet,
and they go, yeah, Skibbity bum bum bum,
yes, yes, and every single one of the videos has
100 million views, and there's 80 parts.
There's a whole universe behind it
It looks like a Counter-Strike map with a Michael Jackson cut
We've seen it with Michael Jackson chasing you around a level
And the toilet heads are fighting the camera guys
And they shoot lasers at each other
TJ, is it hilarious?
Is it funny?
I mean, to us, it's nonsense
But also, when we were kids, we looked at stupid shit all the time
So I'm sure there are rules to that
Kids were dressing up as if for Halloween.
It's the biggest thing.
Brandon, did you fuck on Halloween this year?
Fuck.
Probably.
No, we weren't.
Oh, yeah, maybe.
No, we were home for Halloween.
I might have, too.
Yeah.
We were home for Halloween.
Job well done.
No, we had dinner.
Job well done.
Yeah, you know, kids go out, get their candy.
My son did.
One last thing is we were looking for videos to watch and he's
like i want to watch that one with the flaming car and it was it was the yak and i was like no
we cannot watch can't watch the act yeah because you know our like static screen oh yeah yeah our
logo can your son has a ton of backlog to learn about you yeah it's oh my god oh i worry about
that with my kid yeah all right the rarest month to be born in is February,
which would put the rarest month to have sex in as Easter.
No.
Not that far back.
Can you hear the basketball, TJ?
June?
Should we tell them to stop?
May?
May.
It's not.
It would be May.
Crazy bad, but yeah.
I think people fucking May, though.
When the weather's getting warm, everybody's throwing the titties out.
Memorial Day weekend? Just throwing them. Wait, though. When the weather's getting warm, everybody's throwing the titties out. Memorial Day weekend?
Just throwing them.
Wait, so when's the least?
It's going to be Valentine's Day.
February is the least birthdays.
But it's also May.
Wait, that's the birthday.
Gary's right.
I got it.
It's the shortest month.
Yeah.
There you go.
That happened to us once.
That was stupid phone.
Like three years ago Four years ago
Erica called us in
And was like
Hey like
Pardon my takes
Numbers are
Are down
We gotta figure out
What's going on
And I looked at her
And I was like
You mean February
She's like oh yeah
There we go
And that was the whole meeting
And it all figured out
It was literally like
We did two last episodes
She's like oh yeah
That makes sense
Alright good talk
Good talk.
Happy we had that.
They got shit in check over there, huh?
What?
You're talking about, like, numbers-wise and shit.
They do look at the numbers.
That's crazy.
How's Nicky Numbers?
Fuck, lost cause.
Wait, who's Nicky Numbers?
That's his boy.
They would sit.
You guys would sit down on Halloween and wait for an invite.
Never got it.
To no avail.
Never got it.
Never got it for what?
Him and Nicky Numbers would sit down in one of their basements on Halloween waiting for
an invite to a party.
Oh, to a party.
Never happened.
Nope.
Since then, I stopped celebrating Halloween.
How many times did you do that?
One year.
It was one year we were waiting.
How's Nicky Numbers doing?
He's a fireman, but he's like a bubblegum fireman.
Paper pusher.
Like fireman.
What does that mean?
Bubblegum fireman.
He's a fireman.
He went through the academy, but he don't go out on no calls, though.
He just puts up jump shots at the firehouse.
It's like Farvo.
It's chilly.
I love it.
Kind of ideal.
I mean, yeah, but the firemen who go to fight fires, those are men.
That's all they want.
If you ever talk to a fireman, they're like, yeah, we love when we get a ideal. I mean, yeah, but the firemen who go to fight fires, those are men. That's all they want.
If you ever talk to a fireman, they're like, yeah, we love when we get a call. Yeah, those are bullies.
You can be a fireman and just opt out of fire?
I guess in this town.
He's just a man.
Yeah, I'm a man.
You call 911 and he answers the phone.
Nah.
Nah, man.
That's not my thing.
No, my house is over.
Nah, man.
Not in my job description.
Come on now.
A fireman.
We're in the middle of a game of horse.
What's your address? What? Thanks. Two D now. A fireman. We're in the middle of a game of horse. What's your address?
What?
Two D-Y's as well.
Okay.
Oh, Nick, you know.
Still a fireman.
Well, I think I know now why he doesn't go out to fires.
He can't drive the truck.
I'm sure.
Is it an engine?
Is that what it is?
An engine?
It's a truck.
No, there's a whole debate about it.
That's why I asked.
Truck or engine? Who won golf between you two? I mean, there's a whole debate about it. That's why I asked. Truck or engine?
Who won golf between you two?
I mean, you know who won golf.
Kyle.
What Kyle?
By two holes.
It was live streamed, actually.
Yeah, we did a lot of live streams.
It was cool.
Nice.
It was a fixed game, Brandon.
Have you ever played with Riggs?
I did.
No, we played Pinehurst.
You played with Frankie.
And Riggs as well.
We did the golf video.
Yeah, Ryder Cup.
Ryder Cup, yeah.
How was the banter?
I mean, he don't really give you much.
Did you guys see eye to eye?
Never, no, actually.
No.
Now that I think about it.
Doesn't surprise me.
Checks out.
Yeah, no.
How would Riggs react to a wet willy?
Probably Sue.
Tablecloth.
Quite a guess.
I'm guessing, yeah.
All right, you guys want to eat some weird shit?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
What are you thinking?
Well, we got a little thing we're going to do for Thanksgiving.
Oh, he's just throwing up
a half-gourd sandwich.
What are you just going to,
do you have food at the ready,
or?
We brought ingredients.
Oh.
Donnie's going to cook us
dumplings right now.
Hell yeah.
He's great.
Yes.
We're about to find out
how great he actually is.
Yeah, it's Yaksgiving.
So, Nick,
why don't you explain it?
Yeah, so we've done drafts before.
Most recently, the boy draft.
Everybody took a B and O or Y ingredients for Kate's baby shower.
This time we're kind of switching it up because we have limited time.
So we're doing Yaks giving.
All of us brought in.
Everybody was assigned a letter.
Yep.
We have extras.
You guys will be involved too.
Cool.
I'm G.
And for example, so I brought an ingredient with a G.
Are you the first G or the second G? I second year the first g i fucked up my letter you didn't you know what fuck it doesn't matter um i brought an s i'm n i brought in uh some wild cards i have
wild cards okay all right so what we'll do is uh we'll divvy up to teams of three and the three of
us we we will draft from the pool of ingredients to make our dumpling.
Yes.
What we think will be the best dumpling.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Yes.
Yes.
I had an eye.
Is this your idea?
Oh, it's a brain.
We're a hive mind here.
All one.
That's a great idea.
Do you want to see what the teams are?
We should do the teams first?
Yeah.
And we'll show ingredients.
Hey. Donnie will make the dumplings. We Yeah. And we'll show ingredients. Hey.
Donnie will make the dumplings.
We'll draft.
Donnie will make dumplings.
We'll keep reacting, and then we'll try them at the end.
Yep.
How are we doing teams?
Is there like a randomizer that we could use?
We could probably do the horse wheel or something.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Let's do it that way, I think.
Yeah, we'll wheel it.
Yeah, I guess we could wheel.
So maybe put Steven in a team team and then zon tj and
then we'll wheel for picks because then we can go greedy because i brought in some mystery yeah
okay i like that yeah and maybe there will be a wrinkle maybe we can uh we'll figure it out
yeah well this there's aren't really rules to these did you kind of do it did you write a
creed or did you stop doing that?
I stopped doing the creed, man.
I stopped doing creed.
I stopped doing Q-Zip.
You stopped doing Q-Zip?
Wait, you stopped doing Q-Zip?
Yeah, I haven't done it this week.
I was catching a lot of flack.
Wait, did we read ads?
I read the yak.
Okay.
The roback.
And I stayed mum.
Mm-hmm.
Q-Zips?
They're still great.
Yeah, of course.
But I'm not the Q-Zip guy anymore. I'm
trying to do clean slate. Everything I used
to do, out the window.
Do you guys drink on Thanksgiving?
Like, what time do you start drinking? I don't.
Early. Early. Yeah.
Charcuterie. A little glass of wine.
Start us off at
10.30 maybe? Yeah, like a Coors Light when
the first game kicks off. I'll be zooted by noon.
Zooted by noon?
My zoot may look different than your zoot.
You know what I'm saying?
I guarantee it does.
Wait, have you never...
That's cool as fuck the way you said that.
Have you never done a Thanksgiving with your dad?
God, we always do it like the day after, the week after, the week before.
Yeah, I just realized that.
All holidays, really. Because he's on TV. Yeah yeah but now we're all on tv on thanksgiving right which sucks
equally so it works well like we got everybody coming down to virginia for a day or two after
oh nice which will be good at my parents house so we don't have to clean shit at ours sorry you
got to be on tv man it sucks sometimes try being bald and looking like this on TV when there's motherfuckers
like Brady Quinn on TV.
You know what I mean?
I go on there and I'm like,
hey, this is what I look like.
Hope you guys like it.
Big penis head.
Yeah, big old dick head.
They told me it's not too shiny today.
You do look ridiculous.
Do they put the anti-shine on you?
They do.
They walk over and I'm like,
wow, you do look fucking insane.
Yeah, you look crazy. Don't get it twisted it's not ugly it's just kind of it's insane
unhinged oh this guy's massive i double take i have to double take when i see you
it's fun though thanksgiving's good yeah a lot of good food options and like i don't know what
you drink do you drink like a cider? Are you doing IPAs?
I just go Coors Light all day.
Coors Light.
Because I know that I'm going to need the space.
Like if you drink an IPA, you're not going to be able to eat a full.
If you start IPAs at noon.
It would be a good way to stay skinny.
Have a couple IPAs before.
You're not eating as much.
Yeah, but then you get hung over.
Yeah.
It's better than being fat.
Hung over in the middle of the day.
Ugh.
I do wine and then I switch to Coors Light. Yeah Better than being fat Hungover in the middle of the day Mm Ugh Yeah
I do wine and then I switch to Coors Light
How many
Wine is good
How many beers does
Rip wine
Does Big Will
Put down your dad
Not a
Oh Bill
Bill
Bill was in town
When was it
Was it last
A couple weekends ago
That case with him too right
Yeah he brings that
What was it
What do you have
Bush Light
Yeah Bush Light
Bottom of the barrel
Yeah
Yeah I like that.
It'll usually go through a case and a half.
On Thanksgiving?
No.
On that weekend.
That was sensual.
That was the sexiest thing I've ever heard a man say.
It wasn't sexy to me.
It sounded sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What does he do on Thanksgiving?
Would he go through a whole case?
Maybe.
I mean, he could.
He could. He's a different animal man it's it's a it's impressive and weird at the same time because i've already explained he's one of those guys who just sit at
the island he just enjoys that everybody's around them and there's not a lot of socializing yeah
oh talking just watching all right if the fridge is too crowded it'll just
sit the the case outside that's the fridge yeah you don't want to bother anyone yeah you got to
start cleaning up before everybody's done eating too so you can get away from people yeah go to
the kitchen start cleaning some shit up yeah just look busy it's great also the big move is like
figure out one chore that you can do in the one one errand chore whatever it is
in the morning get out i'll go get the ice i'll go do this i'll take the kids out for a couple
hours get you by yourself some time by the way do you see the forecast for thanksgiving it's
gonna be cold really i like that we're gonna get cold thanksgiving with a good lion's team is gonna
be different though i know yeah that could be awesome. I wonder how the commercial will be.
You always get a good political-style commercial on Thanksgiving
that everybody will be commenting on.
From like a candidate?
Remember that one year it was like Clint Eastwood was doing something with,
is it Ford that's out of Detroit?
Does anybody know what he's talking about?
You're thinking about the Super Bowl?
No.
Are you thinking about Kevin Spacey
when he does his weird video every Christmas?
Oh, that's weird.
No, I think you may be honest.
It's like right before the political season
where it's like...
Yeah, I mean, there's usually...
After the political season.
It's just in there.
Everything.
They do something that...
Aren't they always politicizing?
Yeah, there's a message out there.
They're always politicking.
People will get a good review on Twitter.
You think I know what elections are?
I just assume he's right.
You said it with some conviction there.
I appreciate it.
You get a couple people questioning your –
I didn't question anything.
You said that Thanksgiving political ad.
Yeah, you talking about Super Bowl?
Brandon's just hoping I fall every chance I get.
I'm not hoping you fall.
I just think you fell and I wanted to point at it.
Is the Clint Eastwood what I'm talking about?
Was that Super Bowl?
I think it was Thanksgiving, Will. I think you're talking and I wanted to point at you. Is the Clint Eastwood what I'm talking about? Was that a Super Bowl? I think it was Thanksgiving, Will.
I think you're talking about Kevin Spacey.
Kevin Spacey does his weird yearly videos.
He does.
He acts like the president?
Yeah.
So creepy.
He's like, hey, guys.
They thought they caught me.
Yeah.
But what they didn't know.
You guys thought I was a pedophile.
Was there's more.
That was a good-ass one.
He had one where he was sitting
like in front of a fire
and it looked like he wanted to fight all of us.
He just pops up.
I'd fight Kevin Spacey.
Yeah, man.
Was that who you were talking about?
Yeah, why would you?
That's the guy that shot somebody, right?
Alec Ball would.
Y'all wouldn't fight Kevin Spacey?
Yeah, I guess I would.
I'm the only one on record saying I would fight Kevin Spacey.
I would.
I just said I would.
Fuck Kevin Spacey.
Why would you?
I just said I would.
Yeah, but you were hesitant.
I was ready.
You want to fight him because he's gay?
Brandon, why would you fight him?
Kevin Spacey was getting canceled, and he came out as gay.
Yeah.
Is that why you want to fight him?
Is that what he did?
I thought he was a bad person.
You wanted to fight him because he's gay.
No, he said he was gay because he's a bad person.
He's trying to cover up.
It was very much.
He's trying to understand.
I had no idea any of that went down.
What did he do?
Oh, yeah.
What did he do bad?
What did he do bad?
There was some sexual assault.
Sexual assault.
Yeah.
And he was in the closet.
I think everyone in Hollywood knew he was gay, but he was never out.
And then they were like, hey, yeah, Kevin Spacey, bad guy, sexual assault,
all these people, victims coming out.
And he's like, actually, I'm gay.
Everyone's like, wait, what?
Oh, shit, never mind.
That doesn't erase it.
It didn't work.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, I hate you more.
Yeah.
Ew.
How did those Hollywood weirdos get away with the shit they do?
I don't know, Jerry.
He moved to, like, France, right?
He was so good on that show. He's a really good actor on that show he's a really good actor yeah oh follow the money videos his state
of the unions did he ever no gaff does them in the he does them in the frank underwood yeah
yeah i want a best actor he does it as the president um america's like that one best
picture but he didn't want best actor how How'd that movie end? What, American Beauty? Oh, no. Sit down, buddy.
Oh, boy.
Well, he got killed.
No, he definitely won Best Actor.
I don't think he did, because I think Russell Crowe got him when American Beauty...
Did he?
American Beauty won Best Picture, but I don't think Russell Crowe ever...
Not Russell Crowe.
You don't know who Kevin Spacey is.
I don't think Kevin Spacey ever won Best Actor.
He didn't win for
the Kaiser Soze?
Usual Suspects? Yeah.
I don't even know that he was nominated. Really?
Two Academy Award
wins. Okay, he won.
Best what? Supporting Actor?
Best Supporting Actor
for Usual Suspect. Best Actor
American Beauty.
Wow. Yeah.
The Florida Panthers fans used to wear Kevin Spacey masks to games.
That's weird.
Like the year he got canceled, I think.
Yeah.
After he got canceled?
No, no, like right before it happened.
What is that?
Yeah, this is one of the videos.
He just posted it.
It's a good fire.
You didn't really think I was going to miss the opportunity to wish you a merry christmas
like what the hell's going on in a pretty good year and i'm grateful to have my health back
and in light of that i've made some changes in my life and i'd like to invite you to join me
as we walk into 2020 i want to cast my vote for more good in this world.
This is a guy that's guilty of everything. Are you serious?
I'm dead serious.
He's been stoked that far.
And it's not that hard, trust me.
The next time someone does something you don't like,
you can go on the attack,
but you can also hold your fire and do the unexpected.
You can kill them with kindness.
He's so creepy.
I don't like this.
I kind of love this.
You've never seen this?
This is part of the...
It's Frank Underwood, though, right?
Yeah, he's Frank Underwood.
He also literally is being like, next time I sexually assault someone, don't go attack me.
Am I a dick?
It's not that hard.
It's not that hard. What the fuck? That was so weird. Yeah, don't go attack me my dick really not that hard not that hard that was so weird yeah
don't like that no claire underwood so hot yes that was uh that's is that jenny from for us
robin wright and that's jenny from uh princess bride and all that same gal did she end up
becoming president i don't think she's jimmy yes that's what i didn't watch is that me from
forest cop and the same actress from princess bride it went from uh right she's Jimmy. Yes. That's when I really lost it. Is that me from Forrest Gump? And the same actress from Princess Bride.
It went from a documentary.
She's in Princess Bride.
Yeah.
That's when it became for sure.
I fell in love with her like four times throughout my life.
She's in Forrest Gump.
She had AIDS.
Princess Bride?
Four of her ages.
No, not AIDS.
She's a message in a bottle.
We can fix that.
No, we can't.
I wish, man.
It was a real problem.
Yeah. Robin Wright.
Yeah, that limp dick writer boyfriend she had in House of Cards pissed me off so much.
Oh, God.
With the leather bag.
With the fucking beard.
I fucking hated him.
Leather bag guy.
Was he a writer or was he like a professor?
He was a biographer.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Fucking hated that guy.
Ugh. Good show, though. Bad fucking hated that guy oh good show though bad guy good show it dropped off when it dropped off though it dropped off immediately well yeah
but it wasn't just that i think it dropped oh yeah no they ran out of storylines they started
he started fucking his uh security detail yeah and it was like god i can't watch this with my
family anymore marty mush was in that were you previously watching it with your family because yeah yeah it was an extra it was i like
the dark stuff for the most part but then i was like hold on i thought this guy was just the
badass i mean he was throwing people onto the subway it was pretty cool stuff it should have
ended when he became president that felt like the obvious ending because it was more it was
more interesting as he was climbing up but then once he got got to the top, it was like just the show.
Him becoming president, everybody in that government was really fucking stupid but him.
Yeah.
Will, what are your thoughts on the show?
No clue.
I've never seen it.
That's good, Will.
Is that Aaron Sorkin?
You have a great show you can watch.
Yeah, I think so.
You did West Wing as well, right?
It's not Aaron.
I watched that show just long enough to where I don't know what happened.
Yeah.
But I remember how I feel about it all.
I'll re-watch it sometime. Have any of you guys seen Veep? happened. Yeah. And I remember how I feel about it all. I'll rewatch it sometime.
Have any of you guys seen Veep?
No.
Yes.
Yeah, very recommended.
The funniest show ever.
People say it's hilarious.
It's too well written.
It's too well written.
What does that mean?
It means that there's no stop and breathe between laughter.
It's almost, it's so.
It's just like, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, there are times where it's so funny you don't even laugh.
You just go, God damn, that's funny.
Yeah.
It's so funny you don't even laugh. You just go, God damn, that's funny. It's so funny you don't even laugh.
It's genius.
It is, honestly.
I'm going to start it.
It is very rewatchable, too.
What platform is it on?
HBO.
So, Julia Louis, Dreyfus, Buster Bluth.
Oh, hell yeah.
Have you guys seen, what was it, Severance?
Buster Bluth. Tony Hale. Just Buster Bluth. Tony Hale. Buster Bluth it severance buster blue tony hale just buster
blue tony hale buster blue yeah tony hale yeah tony hale he's buster blue i think but yeah that's
what i mean it's too well written it's so i get that yeah it's like fuck you're i'm jealous of
you kb it's that good we get to watch it for the first time talked about more i don't know
it's so it's so so funny have you guys seen severance
no i'm so behind on shows severance anybody what is it about
basically you go down you get this surgery adam scott's in that yeah yeah yeah you like get this
surgery that separates you from like work and home so the minute you're in the building you're
in work you're in work brain and you don't know anything that's going on outside the walls you don't have any memory of it um and then when
you're you go home you can't even remember what goes on at work so we could all be working together
and the minute we step out and go home we don't know that we all work together it's wild in the
last three episodes are some of the best tv. Is this taking place in like a future?
No.
No.
Is it for productivity purposes?
Is what for productivity purposes? The surgery?
Does it help them work more?
It's like this cult political-ish movement.
And they're trying to promote severance.
And then there's like anti-severance people who are striking it and stuff like that.
Sci-fi?
Yes or no?
You can't answer that.
Next question.
Wow, that's a little personal.
What was that?
I'm going to have to tell you.
I won't be answering that question.
You've gone a little too far.
Never ask a woman her age.
Never ask someone who they voted for.
Never ask Will Compton if he's watching a sci-fi show.
Never ask Will Compton's genre.
I don't think he knew what that meant.
You just stared at me.
I felt so stupid.
You locked him up.
He still doesn't really understand.
All right, buddy, slow down.
Our audience doesn't understand these concepts.
Chill out.
All right.
That was an all-time moment.
Sci-fi?
So, sci-fi?
Define sci-fi define sci-fi wait real quick do you know what it stands for science fiction yeah yeah okay so define it for
me uh are there scientific elements and is it a fictitious story star yeah yes star wars yes Star Wars is sci-fi. Yeah.
Okay.
You good?
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that was a good explanation.
I defined the two words.
Define science and fiction.
Thanks, Merriam-Webster.
You explained that well.
Can I point something out?
We need to give Chef Donnie time.
Yes, let's go.
Wheel, wheel, wheel.
These are for the teams.
First three, second three, third three.
Then we'll reveal our items.
Three in a row, you're all on the same team.
Let's do that.
Why do we have ten?
You guys both brought ingredients.
Somebody can just eat for me. Let just do a team of four at the end
Yep
Easy
Sci-fi
Alright Jerry
Why is someone hurting from that
Cause he has me
Literally going through my brain
I'm seeing aliens
Like cross my memory
I'm like wait a minute
Sci-fi
It was like he asked you, so when did you
stop hitting your wife?
Define hitting.
What the fuck?
I don't know what it is.
What is this for?
Teams.
Jerry, Casey, and who was the second?
Brandon? So you guys are
selecting together.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah.
Make it easier, condensed.
Yeah.
Okay.
Who's with Titus?
It's with me.
No.
It's with me.
Who's the first team?
I'm sorry.
Me, Jerry, and Kyle.
Okay, good team.
Kyle Bauer.
KB, not Kyle. Kyle Bauer. KB, not Kyle.
Kyle Bauer.
KB.
Oh, God damn it.
Oh, no.
I love my squad.
Let's do a team of two.
He's going to pick the worst thing.
Yeah, he sucks at this.
Oh.
All right, Willie.
Good squad.
Athletic squad.
Yes.
Is it me, you, and Jay? Yeah, you guys are the last four. We're the last four. Athletic squad. Yes. Is it me, you, and Jay?
Yeah, you guys are the last four.
We're the last four.
Yeah.
Sweet.
So Jerry and Nick switch seats so that makes it.
Yeah, but Kyle's still.
Oh, yeah, Kyle's right there.
I can switch.
Me and you switch.
I can go wherever.
Me and you switch seats.
No, because I still need to get over there.
Yeah, but then I'm with Kyle.
Will and Kyle switch seats. I still need to get over there. Brandon, but then I'm with Kyle. Will and Kyle switch seats.
I still need to get over there.
Brandon, you move down one.
And then me and Jerry.
Jerry's coming here?
Yeah, yeah.
So I wouldn't need to move down.
Jerry can just go right there.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, and Kyle and Will switch seats.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, so your team, your three is right here.
Uh-huh.
Me, Will, and Che are right here, and then that team is right there.
Perfect.
We got Zah.
It's us three and Zah. Yeah. Well, that team is right there. Perfect. We got Zaha. Yeah, it's Zaha.
Well, that worked out well.
Hell yeah. Just don't pick
a bad ingredient.
Alright, so now we do ingredients.
So, are we really going to be able
to do... Give me a fucking fist bump.
Oh, God. Jesus, I didn't see it.
Nick, since we have like everything,
maybe we just do
piles of ingredients. Do we want to do the letters? Why don't we just throw them all out there? Let's throw them all out there. Yeah have everything, maybe we just do piles.
Do we want to do the letters?
Why don't we just throw them all out there?
Let's throw them all out there.
Yeah, and then maybe we throw them all out there,
and then we'll divide them into sections that we all have to draft from
and make it difficult.
We'll keep our mysteries with us that somebody can keep from.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, throw your items out there.
Sa, Che.
And then we'll put them in a different way. What is that? I had ice. Yeah, Halo ice cream? I had ice, so I items out there. Sa-che. And then we'll put them in a different way.
What is that?
I had I.
Halo ice cream?
I had I, so I brought ice cream.
No, this is Nick's.
I thought I had S.
Nick's ice cream.
Oh.
That could be the N.
It's also melted.
Yeah, that makes sense.
No, it's ice cream.
I have sun chips and string cheese.
I thought I had S.
I screwed up.
Bad.
That's not bad.
Yeah. It's not terrible. I had K, so. I screwed up. Bad. That's not bad. Yeah.
It's not terrible.
I had K, so I brought kale.
Nice choice.
I got G, so I brought melatonin gummies.
Oh, that's a problem.
Nobody's going to get the itis.
We're still next to each other.
But also, if we need an extra because there were some letters that weren't assigned.
Yeah.
I think we just put everything in the middle,
and then we just draft until it's all gone.
All right.
Yeah.
Big-ass pickle.
Oh, big-ass pickle.
It's a big pop-up.
Oh.
All right, yeah, so every item has to be selected.
Van Holtons.
Vegetable soup.
Vegetable soup.
Steve, can you just put this-
Oh, wait, are we throwing mysteries out there, too?
Yeah, why not?
Just throw it all out there.
Yeah.
My backup K was ketchup.
I have sport peppers.
This is going to be bad.
M&M's.
Brought ketamine.
I got milk, pudding, and junior mints.
Okay.
Nicky Sweet Tooth.
Cliff Bar.
The strawberry.
Lunchables.
Lunchables are great.
Pizza Lunchables.
Oh, man.
That's a good one.
Cream cheese.
Chive cream cheese.
Okay.
Jay, what do you got?
S for spinach dip and then B for vanilla ice cream.
Vanilla ice cream and spinach dip.
All right, let's draft.
Yeah.
Look at that.
That's a good-ass smorgasbord.
We got to get a good lay of it.
We're building dumplings, so we got to be smart.
Where are you going, Brandon?
We're building dumplings for ourselves, BC? Yes. We're building dumplings so we gotta be smart. Where you going, Brandon? We're building dumplings for ourselves, BC?
We're building our team's dumplings.
Donnie's gonna make us dumplings.
Everyone has to eat.
I'm looking at a lot of sweets out there.
I was already looking at the pudding, the junior men's
milk.
We're gonna spin the wheel
to see what team picks.
M&M's, there's a lot of big cash. We spin the wheel to see what team picks. All right, wait, hold on. With the three ingredients only. M&Ms, there's a lot of –
Big catch.
We spin the wheel to see what team picks, and if they get –
if once everybody gets one –
You're going to think I'm crazy when I say this.
Don't say pickle.
The Philadelphia cream cheese.
Oh, for sure.
No, that's the number one.
The Lunchables.
That's a good –
I'm with it.
That'd be a good combo.
Yeah.
That's a lot for three teams.
So you're going to –
you're talking about six ingredients per team?
We're talking about six ingredients per team.
Oh, my God.
Donnie's going to really have to dice them up.
What are you looking at, Brandon?
What's your number one?
So who gets to go first?
The wheel will decide.
Are we doing a draft, or are we doing the wheel?
I think you're right.
Yeah, I think the wheel.
The footing, maybe?
Yeah, every time.
Yeah.
I like that.
Junior Mintz.
What was he, 19?
Going in order.
Yeah, so once you have six, you're done. Right. He was in ninth grade. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Junior Mintz. What was he? 19? Going in order. Yeah. So once you have six, you're done.
Right.
He was in ninth grade.
Right.
And if you have six before everyone else has, let's say, three, then you get greedy.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yep.
We should just make greedy the melatonin because there's 19 items.
We're going to each do six.
That's 18.
So, Nick, take the melatonin. That will be the greedy. Melatonin's greedy? Yeah. We'll going to each do six. That's 18. So, Nick, take the melatonin.
That will be the greedy.
Melatonin's greedy?
Yeah.
We'll say sleepy instead of greedy.
So if you get six items before everyone else has three.
A little tryptophan.
You got to do the melatonin.
I figured it's like Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
You have to eat.
Yeah.
That's the greedy punch.
Get a little nap in.
All right.
Let's draft.
I'm excited.
I'm excited to eat some dumplings. Spin it. Spin that the greedy punch. Get a little nap in. All right. Let's draft. I'm excited.
I'm excited to eat some dumplings.
Spin it.
Spin that shit.
Okay.
So, obviously, for Kyle, Jerry, and Will, Oh, let's go.
It becomes difficult as I am running away,
and now you have to decide.
And the greedy thing, what we just explained for all the listeners
and for you guys, if one team gets all six of their items
before someone else has gotten three picks,
then they have to put Mel Toney down.
Yeah.
Are we not overlapping letters?
You want your number to come up, but you don't want it to come up too much.
We can overlap letters here, Che.
I think it's just –
Yeah, it's a free-for-all.
We're all taking six items. You don't want to get greedy. You do not want to be – you don't want to win too much. People can overlap letters here, Che. I think it's just... Yes, it's just... Yeah, it's a free-for-all. We're all taking six items.
You don't want to get greedy.
You do not want to be...
You don't want to win too much.
People are going to take those away.
Oh, wait.
You guys talk in the mic.
Talk your strategy.
Well, you guys were talking
while we were...
All right, well, we think
we should probably go sweet.
Yeah.
You want to start with the...
I thought maybe the pudding
over there.
The pudding?
I don't know.
Probably pudding or M&M's.
Boy, I built like pudding.
Jerry. He did not like that one. Damn. Oh, damn. I don't know. Pudding or M&M's? Boy, I built like pudding.
Jerry.
He did not like that one. Damn.
Oh, damn.
Watch out, watch out.
What about the cream cheese?
I think the M&M's will fit snugly in a dumpling.
Is that what we're doing?
Yeah, we're drying it.
And they'll melt well.
Let me throw an idea.
Do you think the whipped cream cheese would be okay?
Because I feel like that's going to go with it. they'll melt well. Do you think the whipped cream cheese would be okay? That is chive flavored
which wouldn't
compliment sweets.
I think M&M's is kind of crazy.
No, no, no.
No five, no five, no four.
You want the string cheese?
Jerry, break it.
There's more sweet.
I trust your call.
Yeah.
You guys are pretending like there's not going to be many wrinkles and like.
Go with your gut, KP.
Go with your gut.
Go with your gut.
Go with your gut.
Go with your gut, Kyle.
If it's M&M's, it's M&M's.
I'm good.
Yeah.
Do you have a clear 1-1?
Yeah, I got a couple.
I got a.
Wait, no.
You only get one.
I mean.
You think?
Touch.
Touch. He touched all of them. He touched all of them, though. I mean, you think? Touch, touch.
He touched all of them.
He touched all of them, though.
Yeah, what the hell?
Why are you handsy?
Why are you handsy?
I'm just looking at how good this guy's hips are.
No, no, no, no.
Touch Junior Mints first.
You touch Junior Mints first.
You have to put down the other ones.
You have to take Junior Mints.
You touch Junior Mints.
That's a shitty one.
You set that as law.
Minty Dumplings.
That's your one-one.
Don't touch anything if you don't want to. I'm really excited about set that as well. Minty Dumplings. That's your one-one. Don't touch anything if you don't want to.
I'm really excited about this.
I'm thinking your one-one is cream cheese or the string cheese.
You don't say it right now until I pick something.
Boy, so willy.
But now we're locked in.
No, it's not in order.
We spin again.
We got to.
Yeah, we're going to spin it.
It doesn't just go.
No, no.
No.
This is how you get fucked.
That's how you get real.
If we don't get a pick.
Junior Mint is a horrendous pick.
They can go. Terrible. Yeah. You can pick anything. That's how you get real. If we don't get a pick. Junior Mint is a horrendous pick. They can go.
Terrible.
You can pick anything.
Feel bad.
That's the beauty of the draft.
You could end up, we could end up with a kale pudding baby food draft.
Okay.
Yeah.
The kale's still there, yeah.
The kale is still there.
Okay, it's us.
You want to go cheese?
I think so.
I'm a couple minutes all over, Che.
Yeah, go cheese.
I want to go sun chips.
It's the smallest.
No, don't go cheese.
Don't, don't, no.
Please don't go cheese.
Please don't go cheese.
Why?
Because I won't.
Are you serious?
You know what happens when cheese is in a dumpling?
If you go cheese.
Oh, sun chips? I like that't have a cream cheese. Are you serious? You know what happens when cheese is in a dumpling? If you go cheese. Oh, Sun Chips?
The Sun?
I like that pick.
It's crunch.
Hey, that's a wild.
Is that what Jay wanted?
It's not going to be a crunch when it's deep fried.
Jay, did you want that?
I'm good with Sun Chips.
It's a neutral flavor.
It's crunch.
It's neutral.
That's not.
You got to try to stay like.
It's going to lose its crunch once it's dumpling-ized, right?
That's fine.
It would be like a dust.
Yeah, I think.
Nice dust.
I trust Donnie to be.
Junior Mints is crazy. Junior Mints is maybe the worst pick. I don't know why you guys let, I think. I trust Donnie to be the worst pick.
Junior Mints is maybe the worst pick.
I don't know why you guys let me do that.
I don't know why you did it.
You didn't say no when I picked up the Junior Mints.
Junior Mint dumplings.
Hey, I want to apologize.
Oh, my.
That's the worst pick.
That's the worst.
That's the worst pick, and you didn't say anything.
You just want to get on the podium right now.
Gary, why didn't you stop him?
It's an M&M.
You guys trust me?
I also got, they got my head, because then when you said cheese, they're like, don't go cheese.
We want cheese so bad.
We want cheese.
That's our top pick.
Hey, hand up.
It's that big.
It's not going to be.
I fucked up.
It's over.
Junior Mints goes with nothing.
We're good.
Yeah, it's a tough pick.
All right, my bad.
My bad.
You're fine, because I think we know. I'm so upset.. My bad. You're fine because I think we know.
I'm so upset.
More than them.
We're good.
We're good.
Play the tapes.
We're good.
You guys sat there so content with Junior Mint.
No, we thought you were going for M&M's.
You picked up Junior Mint's first on your own.
As a suggestion.
Kyle's watching like, what is going on right now?
Yeah, I don't think you brought up Junior Mint's one time and they were like, hey, we
didn't know it was over there.
I didn't see it.
I wanted to show them like, hey, is this an option?
So both the first two picks were rogue picks by
me and kyle we also didn't decide that a touch meant you had it this that's always known that's
not in the bylaws that in the boy draft that's how the boy draft works yeah but i wanted i wanted a
way out nothing nothing is outstanding here in terms of the rules this is pretty this is exactly
by the way this isn't a bad pick yeah i just probably a better one. Sun Chips is also a bad pick.
No, it's not.
You got Junior Mints.
We're happy with Junior Mints.
It's going to taste so gross when you have to have Junior Mints and cream cheese.
We're fine.
All right, spin it again.
Blue Chip Prospect.
We got to win the wheel, though.
That's our Blue Chip.
Yeah.
If it's there, we take it.
Oh, Blue Chips?
Sounds like you want to win one.
All right, boys, let's talk turkey.
You literally got blue chips.
Yeah, I got them.
Boys.
Kale.
Kale.
That's what we were talking about.
Kale's obvious.
Kale's the obvious.
With the first pick.
Well, we made a good pick.
Right, Zah?
Zah.
I'm not even worried about you.
Zah.
Let Zah in.
Kale?
You don't like it.
All right, Kale.
No, no, no.
He's your boy.
I mean, look.
Zah, it's neutral.
It doesn't taste like anything. It tastes like nothing. It tastes like nothing. Actually, yeah, fair. Yeah, he, no. I mean, I hear you. He's your boy. I mean, look. It's neutral. It doesn't taste like anything.
It tastes like nothing.
It tastes like nothing.
Actually, yeah, fair.
Yeah, he's going to chop it up real.
It's going to be like a garnish.
Wow, that's a great point.
That's not a good thing.
You've seen that guy go to work?
He's going to be great.
Yeah.
You fucked your whole team.
I can't believe it.
Can't believe it.
Junior men's 1-1.
Yeah.
We have to go.
That's a non-scheme.
Go catch ketchup second.
We have to stay sweet.
You guys are stuck in the sweet zone.
Yeah, you have to go sweet.
We knew that would be the case.
Go ketchup, too.
You're crazy.
They kind of, why would we ever want to go sweet?
Yeah.
We still have flexibility now with kale.
We can do anything.
We do, too, with sun chips.
You make a dusting of them.
Remember, it's a chef.
It goes in the dumpling.
It's not a dusting.
Yeah, he'll crunch it up.
Sun chips is way better than kale.
He'll crunch it up and make it a dusting.
Yes.
There's enough out there.
Donnie's probably going to put it as a nice little topping.
You're never made by your first pick, are you?
We're going to make a nice dessert, fried dessert treat.
It's going to be beautiful.
We've got to take desserts from them.
And we're going until ingredients are gone, right?
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
All right, next one. Oh, fuck.
All right, next one. Brandon, GMs get fired all the time for fucking up the number one overall.
No, that wasn't me.
That was us.
I know, but you just said you're never made by your first pick.
That's not true.
That's your legacy.
In this excuse, I'm going with you're not made by your first pick.
In these drafts.
All right, spin it, TJ.
It's what happens later that fucks you.
Okay.
Come on, let's get on the board.
Come on, boys. Come on. Yes, stop. Yes. All right, let's go. Okay, let's see what they do. Whoa, it, TJ. It's what happens later that fucks you. Okay. Come on, let's get on the board. Come on, boys.
Come on.
Yes, stop.
Yes.
All right, let's go.
Okay, let's see what they do.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
Kyle, go.
Go, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
Get your catcher.
Stop, Kyle.
Touch it, Kyle.
Touch it.
I would say that or M&M's.
The bar is also mint flavored.
Touch it.
Destiny.
Hold on.
Destiny.
So we're thinking.
Touch it.
Don't listen to him. Minty ass. Right here. Focus. You're thinking M&M's. I on. Destiny. Touch it. Don't listen to him.
Minty ass.
Right here.
Focus.
You're thinking M&M's.
I would say M&M's.
You're thinking Clif Bar and I'm thinking vanilla ice cream.
I think Clif Bar is better than M&M's.
Get it, Kyle.
Go.
You already have one chocolate.
Kyle, trust your heart.
Jerry wanted M&M's last.
I say we go M&M's because we got candy.
This isn't a back-breaking pick.
It's either chocolate or M&M's.
Oh, those are peanut M&M's?
It's a good pick.
Wait, are the full peanuts in those?
Yeah.
Oh, that's gross.
Gross, dude.
That's not a bad pick.
That's not a bad pick.
Nutty, mint, and doubling.
We're good.
Wow.
Oh, no.
Horrific pick.
Come on.
The bars are yucky.
That's a terrible pick.
That's the one you pointed at.
It's mint flavor, so it would go. That's a terrible pick. That's the one you pointed at. It's mint flavor, so it would go.
That's a mint cliff bar?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Mint chocolate.
Wait, then why didn't you pick that?
Here we go.
All right.
All right.
All right.
You guys are going to get greedy.
Okay.
All right.
Now, listen.
Listen.
I think the vanilla ice cream would be good, or we go cliff bar now.
We stay in the sweet zone.
I'm fine with either of those.
Trust your gut.
I'm nervous. Have you tasted the Cliff Bar?
Kyle, no. It ain't great.
We haven't decided a direction yet.
No. Kale is neutral.
Oh, that's the bandwagon. No matter what our second pick is, we're good.
Our third pick could fuck us. Strawberry milk?
Strawberry milk?
We're a strawberry milk.
They make a mac and cheese bandw's strawberry milk? Milk and cookies.
They make a mac and cheese. We don't have cookies.
Kyle, they're talking down to milk and cookies.
Kyle, you're the team captain.
Go for it, Kyle.
Follow your heart, man.
Anything sweet.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
Anything sweet.
Go ahead.
You're good.
You're good.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You frowned on milk and you took melted ice cream?
That's milk, brother.
This is my favorite ice cream. So far, so good. What flavor ice cream? That's milk, brother. This is my favorite ice cream.
So far, so good.
What flavor ice cream?
It's just cream at this point.
Van Leeuwen vanilla bean.
Hell yeah.
All right, spit it again.
I'm having a lot of fun.
This is great.
How many go in one?
Until they're gone.
The team aspect is great for this.
And all the ingredients.
We got to do that.
It's good.
This is not good.
You're right. It's not good. You're going to get so many ingredients. Yeah, we-oh. This is good. This is not good. You're right.
This is not good.
You're going to get so many ingredients.
Yeah, we're going to get six.
Then you've got to get the melatonin.
Oh, I didn't think about that.
If you get the six before any of us get it, all of us get the three.
Pudding, pudding.
I would say pudding.
Pudding, yeah.
Great pick.
He touched milk first.
That's four.
This is bad, you mean?
Yeah.
Two more and it's tonic. All the ingredients. If we get all This is bad, you mean? Yeah. Two more.
You get all the ingredients.
If we get all good ingredients, then melatonin is really...
How bad?
I mean, melatonin is not going to knock me out, is it?
I got my soldiers in town.
Go again.
The flavor pudding is up.
I get you smelling them poppers, too, when you're asleep.
You know what that is?
That bully mentality.
We need to block them from getting
What is that, Kyle?
We need to add like a pickle to theirs.
You're up, Brandon.
All right.
What is that? Is that fake ice cream?
No, it's ice cream. Birthday cake.
It says 220 calories.
That's fake ass ice cream.
That's 260.
We don't want to get picked here.
No.
We would like to go for a little while without a pick.
That's $710.
All right, well, talk to me.
We're fine, boys.
I got a wild thought.
What's your thought?
Say it.
Pickles.
He's going pickles.
I would love to go pickles and sport peppers.
Really?
It's kind of the same?
And pickles and what?
Cream cheese. Sport peppers. Cream cheese? You want to go cream same? And pickles and wine? Cream cheese.
Spore peppers.
Cream cheese?
You want to go cream cheese?
It's a crab rangoon, basically.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I think cream cheese is good.
Is that regular cream cheese?
Where's the crab?
That's spore peppers.
You want to grab the spore peppers?
That's chive cream cheese.
Peppers will.
No, no, go ahead.
Grab the peppers.
Peppers will.
Peppers will.
Peppers will.
Peppers.
Come on.
Cream cheese.
Cream cheese.
All right.
Okay.
That's actually not a bad dip.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
You have something.
Doing okay.
We're working on something.
You guys are really good.
Crab rangoon.
All right.
All right.
We're cooking, boys.
Hey, I'll tell you this.
All right.
I wouldn't mind the pepper.
I think the pepper might not be good.
Yeah. Pe peppers or cheese.
Peppers?
That's a jalapeno popper.
No, sport peppers are not that hot.
May I suggest?
Oh, that's a jalapeno popper.
You're right.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They are not letting Che participate.
Che, suggest.
Hurry up.
Hold on, Che, what do you want to say? Che, did you imagine that? Did you imagine that? Che, suggest. Hurry up. Hold on.
Che, what do you want to say?
Che, did you imagine that?
Did you imagine that?
Che, what do you want?
I'm good with the peppers.
I would also suggest maybe the spinach dip.
No, I don't think the spinach dip.
No?
Okay.
I think that would be too much.
We already have chive in this.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm pickle.
That's a pickle.
You touch it.
Flip it over.
Flip it over and check.
Or cheese.
Or peppers or cheese.
Oh. Cheese? All right. Okay. I like it. I like it. I like it over and check. Or cheese. Or peppers or cheese. Oh.
Cheese.
All right.
Okay.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
That's pretty good.
They're very tasty.
We're fine.
This is us, right?
Yeah, we're good.
We're good.
We're right where we want to be.
Kale dumplings.
We're right where we want to be.
Oh, dude, we have kale.
Yeah.
All right, boys.
There we go.
All right.
Oh, they're back up.
Do we go string cheese? Are we going bland? You might as well. Here we go. All right. Oh, they're back up. Do we go string cheese?
Are we going bland?
You might as well.
I was thinking.
What is that on the far side?
Take the Clif Bar from him.
I was thinking, too.
Now, hear me out.
I'm not saying we do this.
Just throwing it out there.
Lunchables to get some protein, like some meat in there.
Or is that a bad idea?
I don't mind it at all.
And there might be a little cheese in there, too.
A little cheese, a little meat.
What sauce?
This is from us.
Yeah.
Spinach dip.
Spinach dip and kale.
That's too much.
We're getting too much green.
Getting too cute.
I mean, the string cheese is tiny and it's going to taste like nothing.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah, it'll be a texture thing.
Yeah, it'll be like an adhesive.
Okay, I'm fine with string cheese.
What do you think, Zah?
Lunchables might be a good, because we've got kale, right? We should avoid, what? Let, Zaha? The Lunchables might be a good, because we got kale, right?
We should avoid what?
Let's avoid ice cream.
Lunchables might be a good move.
When are we going to shot clock?
It took a while.
Are you guys shot clocking us?
Yeah, well, I shot clocked Brandon.
That's wild.
It's our first.
You shot clocked after like a minute and a half.
You shot clocked us after five seconds.
I noticed I was not
very loud. I'm sorry we're talking on
your podcast, man.
Won't happen again. I went five,
four. He's the fairness guy.
Fairness.
What's wrong with fairness? His pick took like five
minutes. Right. That's what I'm saying. No, it didn't.
That was the first pick of the draft. They always get longer.
Is that true? No.
Okay.
What kind of lunch rolls are those? Pepperoni
pizza.
Yeah, it's great. We're making a pizza.
That's good.
I think that's a dominant flavor, too.
I know what our next two...
Oh, yeah, exactly. Our next two
picks are set up. Let's die.
Let's go, go, go, go, go, go!
Fuck. Fuck.
Ten.
Cheese?
What do you think?
What do you think, Che?
Cheese?
Cheese?
Yeah, cheese, cheese.
Cheese, cheese.
I wanted cheese.
That's what I was.
Look it, Will.
That was going to be your 1-1, and we got it in the fucking seventh round.
That was the wrong cheese.
He got the wrong cheese.
There was extra cheese? Yeah. Oh, the wrong cheese. He got the wrong cheese. There was extra cheese?
Yeah. I love our
all ours go together.
This might be a good ass dish. Yeah.
That's actually. We go together.
Now we have to be smart about our
last two picks because it's
nothing out there goes with what we have.
What's that over there?
Artichoke. We'll discuss.
Hey, let's get the minds running
I gotta see the other side of that veggie soup
Uh-oh
Don't touch it
Uh-oh
Uh-oh
Alright, don't mess up
What do you guys have, two?
Kale and pizza lunch
You have two?
Yeah, we have four
This is your fifth pick
I can't take melatonin
I gotta work after this
Yeah
Can we pass our pick to them?
No Trading Can we trade our pick to them? No.
Trading.
Can we trade our pick?
What's in the Ziploc?
When have we ever traded picks?
If you give us one of our preferred items, we'll give you.
Apple sauce.
We'll take the next draft pick.
Apple sauce, yeah.
What?
We've never traded picks.
Hey.
We're going to trade picks.
Just take the ketchup.
I think the artichoke or the pickle.
Pickle's a dominant ass flavor. Pickle's not. I think the artichoke. Or the pickle. Pickle's a dominant-ass flavor.
Pickle's not bad.
I'm thinking the artichoke dip or the pickle.
That's easy.
You want to go artichoke dip?
There's a no-brainer.
Artichoke dip sounds good.
I think that's a no-brainer.
Get it.
Yeah.
Artichoke dip sounds good.
Take it.
Do it.
The artichoke dip.
Do it now.
No!
You guys make me laugh and laugh and laugh.
It doesn't matter if they're messing with us.
They have the worst setup.
I want you guys to eat well.
You guys are legit funny.
Shut the fuck up, dude.
Oh, we won.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
I want to block their sweets.
Oh, block their sweets. Oh, my God. For the hell? You want to block their sweets? Oh, block their sweets.
Oh, my God.
For the greater good.
Milk and Cliff.
Holy shit.
For what greater good?
As long as we eat.
I want to block their sweets.
Boys, we got to take strawberry milk.
You will.
You got to get it.
You got to ruin.
You got to ruin.
I had to block.
I did it for everyone.
I want them to have cheese and ketchup.
They are the joke.
That's what I thought.
You're eating ice cream and cream cheese and peppers.
Very, very, very good.
It all looked good until the birthday cake.
God.
I had to jump in front of it so they don't get the fucking.
You ruined your own.
Imagine we're discussing they're having dessert.
If we got artichoke dip, we literally have the perfect setup.
Just like that word.
Like a great dumpling.
We have a great dumpling.
All right, it might have been a mistake, but I get it.
This guy drafted a kicker, dude.
No, it wasn't a mistake.
Nick sees my vision.
Yes, because these guys are going to get off scot-free
because they were the first person to pick,
and they chose sweet knowing nobody else is going to pick sweet now.
Right.
And now if they get pickle and ketchup with their sweets,
that's the worst thing ever.
Minty pickle?
You've got peppers and ice cream.
I get it.
Brandon, tell them. You've got peppers and ice cream.
We have to unionize. You fucked yourself
to fuck us. Boys, we're taking their
cliff. Yes. Alright.
Fuck.
Fuck. Trust the vision.
We got milk too. Trust the vision.
Oh no. No! Come on!
Get there.
Fuck!
But now we have to have melatonin?
Oh, no.
This is the last one.
Seven.
Yes, yes.
Oh, I thought it was just when you hit six.
Get the seven.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Oh, my God.
Will's going rogue.
Do it, Will.
Do it.
Go crazy, Will.
No, no.
Look at the clipboard.
Will wants that spinach dip so bad.
Hey, we just had the perfect view of that right there.
That's hilarious.
They went with the mint cliff bar.
Big Cat, I'm fucking with the vision.
Boys, we're chilling.
I think Dan fucked him.
We didn't have to do it.
So bad.
So bad.
Dan took his eye off the ball for sure.
No.
Yours is going to taste like ass though.
You're trying to fuck him.
You fucked yourself.
I don't care.
He fucked himself.
You just fucked yourself.
Jerry.
Junior Mitten Pickle.
Jerry might puke.
Brandon will complain.
It will be all worth it.
Kyle gets to regret picking Junior Mitten first.
Yeah, I think.
I did this for the better group.
You guys just got to follow suit.
Yep, we will.
Okay.
It's already over, right?
Of course you grab our next one.
We're going to pick all the ingredients.
There's only one.
No, I meant all the assies.
There's no milk out there for them.
All right.
Oh.
Yeah.
Pouch.
What's the pouch?
That's applesauce.
So this is your six?
Strawberry.
Hold on.
This is a fifth.
Huh?
Strawberry milk, right?
We can get strawberry milk.
Strawberry milk.
That will just dissipate.
I'll say strawberry milk.
There's only two.
I was arguing against this.
Either one's fine.
It'll go away.
Strawberry milk.
Yeah.
It's going to disappear.
It's not going to be a pink dumpling at all.
Did I make a mistake?
Yeah.
I like a mistake? Yeah. I like rats.
It's a great yak moment, though, me diving for the cliff bar.
What do we have?
Just kale?
That was great.
We have kale and a piece of lunchbox?
Our two picks could have been the pickle and the artichoke dip.
I don't know how the artichoke dip's still out there.
That's a fine ingredient.
That should have been picked fast.
Soup?
Would you ketchup?
Ketchup would go with the tomato sauce?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Ketchup would kind of hide.
No.
Oh, that's a screen.
Green.
Sleepy.
So that's one each.
One each.
She got to take it now.
Melatonin?
No, he's going to put it in the dumpling.
Okay, okay.
I want it in the dumpling.
You want to pass that down?
Yeah.
You should put it on top. What if we keep getting garnish? Yeah, as's going to put it in the dumpling. Okay, okay. I want it in the dumpling. You want to pass that down? Yeah. You should, like, put it on top.
What if we keep getting garnish?
Yeah, as an accent.
A little garnish.
We don't pick one, do we?
We just get the melatonin?
Yeah.
It's a melatonin pill.
Okay.
That's fucked up, Nick.
I know.
I have to do all of PMT.
You bought that, didn't you?
Yeah.
At least you don't have to stream a game tonight.
Yeah.
You're not streaming? Drink a C4. For me? Yeah. At least you don't have to stream a game tonight. Yeah. You're not streaming?
Drink a C4.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You're going to be, what's it called?
Speedballing?
Yeah.
All right.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
As long as we don't get another.
Oh, those things smell strong.
They smell really strong.
Oh, my God.
If we get another, I'm fucked.
You had to pull that wax seal back.
Oh, God damn it.
All right.
So now that's.
Apple sauce. Fuck. That's the apple sauce. That's apple sauce. Damn it. That's apple sauce all day. And we're good. No, I'm fucked. You had to pull that wax seal back. Oh, God damn it. So now that's... Applesauce.
That's applesauce.
Damn it.
That's applesauce all day.
And we're good.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
And now we have to spin until it lands on us.
You guys could get melatonin.
Every time it does not land on us.
Do you get it now?
Somebody's getting melatonin.
I might have made a mistake, Will.
I might have made a mistake.
I say we go with the... Took a shot. It didn't work. Do you understand it now? I might have made a mistake, Will. I might have made a mistake. I say we go with the plan.
Took a shot.
It didn't work.
Do you understand it now?
I might have made a mistake.
Wait, wait, wait.
I was trying really hard.
These are all ours now.
These are all ours, but it has to land on us.
But it has to land on us.
Yeah, because you guys could end up getting melatonin.
Yeah, this is nothing but bad.
It's got to land on us four times.
No, just once.
Great job, boys.
Just once.
Hey, and honestly, the three. Once you get three, those are the four you'd want.
Yeah.
Yeah, we kind of won the draft by not participating.
Pickle, ketchup, soup, and artichoke dip.
That's what we got.
No, no.
We haven't drafted those.
The ones we drafted are not bad.
We got kale.
We've got pizza.
Yeah, we have.
And it's tomato. We got cheese. We've got pizza. Yeah, we have. And it's tomato.
We've got cheese.
We have pretty straightforward staple food.
It's not too bad.
Yeah.
We've got some greens, some veggies.
I'll squint my eyes at the kale.
You won't be able to taste it.
You were anti-kale?
I don't know.
It's what held up like seafood when I was a kid in the grocery store, right?
Oh, there they are.
Damn it.
All right, so we're the only ones with melatonin.
So the rest of the four are yours four years okay so let's review it and then give it a donnie i love where we're
at we could do it we came out great yeah i'm very pleased that number one picture
i was worried because especially with bangles ravens on dude we've had we've had greedy before
like when kyle had taken shower eight times i was nervous that we were going to all end up with like 10 melatonin.
That would have been so fun.
Disaster.
One's nothing.
Worst last dream ever.
Ever.
Yeah, you would have missed the Ravens win.
Nick, what were the ingredients you picked up?
All right, say your ingredients.
Donnie!
Eight and a half.
I'll go get it.
I got to pee anyway.
Yeah, I think you guys won.
Am I the captain of our team?
We lost.
I want to trade Kyle for Big Cat.
Hey, if there's water.
Yes.
Nick is the only one who understood what I was trying to do.
I didn't pull it off.
What you were trying to do.
I see it now.
It didn't work out, but I had fun trying.
You're just Ricky Williams your whole draft.
Yeah.
I took some shots.
Can you believe that
he did that for ricky williams yeah was that every pick it was a lot of picks it was and it was after
obviously the um famous one with the vikings and cowboys where everyone's like don't trade all your
picks for a one player remember the cowboys was like, let's just do that. And Ricky Williams showed up with a dress.
A wedding dress.
Crazy.
Remember that?
Looking beautiful as a motherfucker.
Just showing off.
What's the coach's name?
It was Dicka.
It was Dicka.
Come on, bro.
Ricky Williams actually was good with the Dolphins.
It just.
Was great.
Yeah.
That's when Wildcat was hot for a minute yeah
ronnie brown yeah yeah that offense was sweet wow now we do wildcat it's like what is gonna run or
pass now we need josh allen to do wildcat yeah that's what we're talking about today i really
believe that like if the bills just lined up and we're like we're gonna speed option these
fuckers to death it would be awesome to watch all right so say say what we got what do you got we got junior mints peanut m&ms vanilla
ice cream vanilla pudding strawberry milk and applesauce that's just awesome it's not as good
as this we've got sun chips sport peppers cliff bar cliff bar, ice cream, cream cheese, regular cheese, melatonin.
Melatonin is a garnish on top.
Yeah, he's going to chop it up and put it, sprinkle it on top.
Is there a chance Donnie left?
No, he definitely didn't leave.
He went to go get the chef and he went to inquire about whatever's going on.
No, not Titus.
Is he not there?
Is he over there?
Oh, yeah.
Donnie.
Donnie's coming.
We have spinach and artichoke dip.
This guy was-
Vegetable soup, pickle, ketchup, pizza lunchable, and kale.
Delicious, hearty, savory.
It's going to taste like a pizza roll.
You have ketchup?
Yeah.
A healthy pizza roll.
That might fuck it up.
Why?
I don't know.
Hot ketchup's going to be like pizza sauce. I don't think I would like it.
We're great.
Yeah, ketchup sucks.
Yeah, you're right, KB.
Look at that turkey.
Ketchup's gonna ruin that whole dish.
Look at this cam we got.
Yours still might be bad.
I don't see how. I don't see how.
I don't see how it's going to be bad.
Inside of a dumpling?
Have you ever had like a fried ice cream?
Yeah.
Oh.
I think it'll be like that.
It's like a little mochi, actually.
Yeah.
Deep fried mochi.
The pudding's going to be your lifesaver, I think.
The pudding?
Pudding, yeah.
Pudding to me was a sneaky ingredient.
How big are these dumplings?
They're about this big.
Wow.
How do you know?
Because I had one earlier.
He hasn't made them yet.
He made some that were like real, like adult palates.
It was fabulous.
I bet they were.
He said like 30 seconds.
Oh, he said 30 seconds.
He's impressive.
Yeah.
You're not allowed to be that talented.
You know what I mean?
It's just this food thing.
If you can do food right, you can get anybody anybody yeah yeah it's like singing or playing piano it is you
can it might have surpassed singing you talk to somebody's stomach and maybe my dad always said
if i could sing man and i'm like man if i could fucking cook like some of these dudes i see on tv
i'd be in all the coolest places in the world, bro, on yachts cooking for the richest folks.
It's a good life.
I mean, if your dad could sing, he was very famous.
Your dad is a nobody.
You know.
If only, man.
But, you know, I think it adds to what I'm saying.
Like, you know, if you could sing, you're that much cooler.
I thought they should have used the scenes in That Thing You Do.
That Thing You Do.
That was a great scene, by the way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't realize he was gay until later. Yeah. tom hanks and my dad were a couple yeah i don't know
how old were you when you saw that let's go uh carry these over to donnie yeah carry our goods
sure well i don't trust you keep yakking with the boys
here don't forget your ketchup.
Your cat soup.
I know.
It's a lot of talking.
So it's just the usual yak boys now left.
Big Cat ruined that.
It's the Big Five.
Is that what we call ourselves?
Big Cat ruined that game for us.
He fucked you.
Yeah, your shit's going to be in his ass, bro.
He got blinded by wanting to take you guys down,
but there's still too many sweet options out there.
I don't necessarily love our setup,
but there is some nice peace in knowing that you just kind of got a sign.
You didn't have any hand in picking it.
We picked our first two, but the rest of it was given to us.
So I don't have any regrets.
The lunch bowl was a good move.
Zero regrets about our picks.
I just don't know how ours is going to stay together.
It's going to be sloppy, and you've got to be prepared for that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've got to be prepared for the slop.
Is somebody yelling over here?
The other thing, I just trust Donnie.
Like, we could give him anything.
Exactly.
He's going to make it good.
They'll make it good.
This is very different than the boy draft when we put it in a blender.
Right.
And everything tasted like asshole.
Really?
Yeah.
If Donnie's.
But Donnie, you have things that are just so uncomplimentary.
The Clif Bar, the birthday cake ice cream.
That's brutal.
Brutal.
To go with what we were going for, we had a nice little crab rangoon-ish.
The artichoke dip.
Your miss was the artichoke dip.
You guys not taking the artichoke dip.
That was a wild miss he just
Big Cat got this look
in his eye
when he looked over
he was like
yeah I'm about to cut
can't stop him
yeah
content is king for a man
he's not going for the best
he's not going for the best
once the big man got moving
I thought maybe one
one day we'd get
some enjoyable
no he's like
let's drop a fucking bomb
on this thing
yeah
we still on here yeah. We still on here?
Yeah, we're still on.
Love it.
Once the big man got going.
You never know.
That's the Barstow way.
You're always on.
Always on.
You're always on.
Never off.
At all times.
Yeah.
You know, when I played, it was like that.
You're always aware that there's a camera.
Right.
And then when you're done playing, you get so comfortable not being around stuff and then you're like fuck i gotta tighten up i remember when i got my job
at cbs i'm in a studio i'm there there's there's women there's other people there that aren't
women and other people like when you play no there's people that are not athletes yeah yeah
so like guys that i'm not used to hanging with i'm only used to joking around with guys like will
and teammates like uh you know any guys like like Delaney, those kind of guys.
Yeah.
You go to these real jobs and you're like, I have to really mind my P's and Q's, which is awful.
I don't think any of us could go back to, like, that environment.
All right, so TJ.
Yeah, you're right about that.
And you forget when you're in it until you're out of it.
Yeah.
We're going to film Donnie cooking and then we can maybe
just put it in the uh in the corner yeah in the corner so people can watch them cook
nice really really stepping up stepping up our draft like having a real cook do it yeah
yeah this is so much better than throwing it all in a blender and yeah destroying the studio day
one i saw all our items in the light.
I think it's going to be awesome.
Yeah.
Scientifically, we'll know.
Yeah, lighting.
Yeah, I saw it. It was the lighting.
When I saw it all, I was like, damn, we made a good tumbler.
These melatonins were really kicking off.
Set that thing off.
Set that thing on fire.
I told him to chop them up and put them on top.
Melatonins.
Brandon, who knows what Brandon's doing?
He's looking for food, basically.
Brandon just opened up the Lunchables.
Yeah, he's just eating.
New game tonight?
Nuclear Whale Play?
I have Nuclear Whale Play.
Scott Missile Seahawk?
It's a personal nuke for me.
Whoa. Whoa.
Explain.
Nuclear whale play is when I put a lot of money on them.
Yeah.
And what are you doing?
Ravens.
Oh.
But they already won.
They're enemies today.
They won, yeah.
The game already happened.
We are.
Us with Bengals?
People are saying you picked the Bengals on?
Jerry and I, we don't know what happened on advisors
That was yesterday
Today I've seen the light
And by the light I mean
The hottest gambler in Barstool
Kyle Bauer told me what to bet
I am moving the line
To
Ravens minus
Eight and a half
It's going to look so bad if they get killed.
He knows what he's talking about.
Kyle was eight for eight on first touchdown.
He had Cortland Sutton.
No, the ones that I make public.
Yeah.
He never misses.
What's his deal, man?
You don't miss, Kyle?
This guy?
You don't just like stumble onto KBs.
What's your snakes on a plane bet?
Deebo Samuel, Lamar Jackson, and Keenan Allen.
I hope he's playing.
Snakes on a plane?
Yeah, Samuel Jackson and Keenan Allen.
Samuel L. Jackson.
What's your speed play?
They were in the movie.
My speed play?
Keanu Reeves.
There's a bomb on the bus.
Oh, you got to find an Arizona Wildcat.
Something under 50 or over 50.
And then you have, what's your stuttering play?
Stuttering deuce.
Yeah, stuttering deuce.
2-2, 2-2, and 2-1.
2-2, Derrick Henry.
Derrick Henry, number 22, and 2-1.
2-2, 2-2, 2-1.
This is incredible.
Are you new to gambling too?
Yes.
Isn't it amazing?
It is.
I mean, it's just as frightening as it is amazing.
But yeah, it's fun.
It makes everything more fun.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, what the fuck?
It was like the first time I smoked a joint and played Xbox.
Exactly like that.
Hold on a minute.
I can do this and play Xbox at the same time?
Yeah, where's this been that's right
because obviously we never gambled when we played i mean fuck i didn't even think about that will
did all the time i used to make fun of fantasy managers you made a lot of yeah you did you did
you did do what they called them they called called him Parlay Willie in the locker room.
That's right.
That's right.
But only on the games you were playing in.
Well, there's big bets on college games.
In the locker room, there's big cash moving on rivalry games.
Like SEC dudes are always gambling.
Yeah.
But you never hear about the NFL.
And when I got out, it was obviously still college gambling.
But my brother does a podcast, The Greenlight light pod and they talk about gambling all the time and obviously these guys
are big into lines and it's fun i mean it's fun to watch that game that way about the game even
if it's a lopsided game you're like there's something going on yeah let's go exactly there
is always something going on that's what makes it fun. Action. Always. Action. I like that word. I want it on the
action. Give me the action.
Yeah, I got an action problem. I hate that
we are separated. Not a gambling problem.
I hate that we're separated this evening, though.
Yeah, why'd you guys do that to me? Joe Mixon
first tonight.
We're just talking about a game that happened
seven days ago. Yeah.
Do you remember when Joe Mixon scored that first touchdown
in the Ravens game where the Bengals won?
Nick?
What are your thoughts?
On what?
Ravens-Bengals.
I think the Ravens are the best team in the NFL right now.
Yes.
They just lost.
Yeah, anyone can lose.
Yeah, but you lost to Riggs.
I think the Ravens have the highest floor in the NFL.
Good point.
Still the best in the NFL.
Yeah, exactly.
Now the high ceiling teams are like Miami, Kansas City, if they're ever right.
I wish Josh Jacobs would have gone to the Ravens.
He would have looked sick.
Oh, he would have looked so sick.
With the hair sticking out the side of the helmet.
I love that look.
When he stuffs that hair into his helmet, it's like popping out the ear holes.
I've said it a lot.
It's so easy to look cool in a Ravens uniform.
Jerry doesn't agree.
The black ones are cool.
You've got to admit, yeah.
I like the black ones.
Imagine Derek Henry.
That all black?
Yeah, really cool.
Nasty.
KB, since this episode is going to air on Wednesday before Thanksgiving,
do you have a Thanksgiving play for the people?
No, I don't look at the board like that.
No?
Like too far in advance.
I can look now.
What board?
Just the Thursdays.
Who's playing?
Lions.
Lions and Cowboys.
Lions and Packers, I believe.
Maybe.
Cowboys and Commanders. Yep. And then what's the Thursday night game? The Packers, I believe. Maybe. Cowboys and Commanders.
Yep.
And then what's the Thursday night game?
The Egg Bowl.
Niners, Seahawks, and there's a Friday game this year.
Yeah, Black Friday.
And the Egg Bowl.
Dolphins, Jets.
What's the penalty for the Egg Bowl this year?
We haven't worked it out yet, and I don't know.
It's not going to be egg throwing because that's kind of old.
Is that Ole Miss, Mississippi State?
It is.
I think I might have to go work for Lane Kiffin for a few days.
Oh, that would be good.
Yeah. Do you know Lane like that? Oh? Because you know you're going to lose.
You should do a coach's bet.
You have to go work for Lane Kiffin for a few days.
Mincy has to die.
Done. We got our bet.
That's the bet.
Mincy stopped me and said he's named after
you guys know this.
Boy, it was not a factually correct thing.
No, he clarified. What was his original tweet his ancestor he's named after his first and middle name is the name of his ancestor who fought
in the alamo and won for the texas army okay texas notor they lost
that was a huge he won one won one of the preliminaries.
That's why they say remember.
And he said my uncle died or whatever it was.
He didn't.
He didn't die?
The guy has Wikipedia.
He didn't die.
He's dead now, but he didn't die in the battle.
No.
They won the scrimmage battle.
He lost in a preseason.
The prelims of the preseason battle.
Brandon, you talk to Kiffin like that?
No, I don't.
I don't, but he can, and I think Mets can talk to somebody who can talk to Kiffin.
He got after that kid last week.
Did you see that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, buddy, I liked it.
The guy who was going through some mental health problems.
It's not that I liked it.
It's that I didn't hate it.
Throw mousetraps at him, make him get on Zoloft.
I wasn't like, yeah.
But I was like, well, you fuck around and find out.
The kid who's going through it with mental problems and he's very depressed.
What did he try to do?
When you're out of the building for that long, go get help.
If you're being contacted, contact back and let them know your situation.
Not everybody's good for college ball.
And if you can't do that, then get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, he didn't respond to him? Is that what happened?
He went two weeks without responding to Lincoln.
Oh, that's a lot. Two weeks of ghosting.
No, I actually do. I don't
love it, but I don't hate it is what I'm saying.
You seem like you love it. You said it with a lot of gusto.
Well, it doesn't happen anymore because kids
are running the show now.
You need to set the precedent.
It's a micro-conflict. Everything that's
happening. I actually think Lincoln was right. Hell yeah, Kyle.
Get louder.
I can't.
Yeah, you can't.
I can't help it, Will.
You can't.
I know, but it juices me up.
But you're right.
Like, hey, anybody going through stuff, like, yeah, you can respect that.
But at the same time, when you're objectively looking at college ball,
it's like there's no room for all of that in college ball
to where you dictate how the scheduling goes.
Yeah.
Agreed.
There's a million situations out there, like schools. one that works and if it doesn't work maybe this thing
you know my dad said it ain't for everybody this football thing so maybe it just ain't for everybody
and maybe you're one of those people brandon why is it called the egg bowl your dad can't sing for
shit he's not a good singer sang in a movie once oh not good they made uh they made a golden
football trophy for it a golden football trophy in 1920s whatever,
and it looked like an egg.
It looked like an egg.
That's it?
That's so Mississippi.
That's pretty much it.
What's the all-time record?
That's so fucking Mississippi.
Since integration, which is really when it started, it's pretty much dead even.
Anything before that doesn't matter.
That means you guys.
Integration in Mississippi, so that's since like 94?
It was 1970.
Since like 67, 68, it's dead even.
Anything before that doesn't really count.
I'd love to go watch that film back then.
64 to 47.
You'd love to go watch.
To see how poor the football is.
Yeah, but it was bad.
So bad.
Yeah, they show those clips sometimes,
and it's usually to make fun of the Bears
where they're like, look at the Bears offense,
and it's like a clip from like 1910.
A quarterback always reaches way back to throw it.
How far back would the two of you former NFLers have to go
to be the GOAT football player?
Oh, great question.
That's an awesome question.
Kyle doesn't have to go that far.
I don't know.
To be the GOAT football player?
Will could have been.
Kyle could have.
Will, do you think?
He would play like running back.
Kyle's size? Dude, I'm from the 70s. Kyle in the 70s would have been any position. Will, do you think? He would play like running back. Kyle's size?
Dude, I'm from the 70s.
Kyle in the 70s would have been. Dude, I'm Taysom Hill in the 80s.
Right?
Yeah.
You're not Taysom Hill in the 80s.
You've got to go back to the 60s or 70s.
When did football start?
No.
The 80s?
Like Taysom Hill in the 80s, I think.
No.
They were great athletes.
Late 1895.
Not early.
You're like Mike Alstott. He's running around. He's running away early you're like you're like mike allstott size you put some big shoulder pads on and i squint my eyes a little
bit you're mike allstott ronnie lott we're killing that 86 bears defense you think i'm
being tasem hill uh yeah what year how do you fuck that i mean i mean go not not pretty good
i mean like where you're where they're all just like holy shit this. I think I'm going to go to the 20s or 30s.
We've never seen anything like this.
Like, who was the most dominant back, like Jim Thorpe, you know?
Yeah.
He was just better.
Jim Thorpe seems.
Yeah.
He was just better than everybody.
Dick Buckus, rest in peace.
Yeah.
Just, you know, bigger than everybody.
Is there Phil and Thorpe?
Oh, I'm sure.
Hey, I mean, back basically when we were looking up all the Heisman winners
and we're like, how did this motherfucker win over that generation?
Yeah, when Army was winning Heisman.
Yeah, like the 40s.
And during wartime, like, wouldn't you think there's –
I mean, did they play college football during wartime?
Were y'all not willing to go to war?
Yeah, what would you guys have done?
Stance on war?
No, I'm asking a serious question.
They did. They got through. Yeah, I'm calling to go to war.ance on war? No, I'm asking a serious question. They did.
They got through it.
Yeah, I'm calling to go to war.
Oh, okay.
I'd never even thought about that.
Same.
Wait, how old do you have to be?
What's the draft age limit?
27.
You're way past.
I would have definitely gone to war.
I got a flat for that.
Yeah.
Five wars for me.
I wish I was 22.
Oh, I wish I was so young that I could go to war right now.
I have a fake ID just in case there's a draft.
Send me over.
It's kind of wild to think, like, they'll just do a draft.
It's like, guess I'm going to war.
That happened earlier, too, Brandon.
Isn't that a wild concept?
It's crazy.
I don't like that either, Brandon.
What was that?
Yeah, I was trapped.
I was snapping the headphones.
We were just sitting here.
But, hey, you're right, and then all of a sudden.
That's why Band of Brothers fucks you up.
Hey.
When they just, like, have, like, if it was your birthday,
they would air it on the news.
You were getting drafted?
Yeah.
Just so your Amber Alert goes off.
Yeah.
It's like, we can't go.
We're barstools.
Oh, shit.
We've got yak.
Someone's got a yak.
If Lil Sask gets drafted.
Think about the yak.
What are they going to do?
The people of America need to watch us eat gross things and piss our pants.
Like, imagine being the biggest fan of, like, the Maryland Terrapins in, like, 1941.
You've got this stud recruit quarterback who's coming to change everything.
You get your Caleb Williams, right?
War.
Going to come, and they're like, oh, sorry, boys.
How pissed are you as a football fan? Yeah. You he's going to come, and they're like, oh, sorry, boys. How pissed are you as a football fan?
Yeah.
You're probably going to war, too.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
You get to talk about it with all your buddies.
You know, fuck.
Sass's stand-up act when he came back from war would have been so funny.
Awesome, dude.
He'd have so many good jokes.
Sass would hate war.
No one would hate it more.
Yeah.
He'd be dead.
That's another way to say it. you die yeah you die so brandon
are you like as people are watching this you're a mere 24 hours away from benjamin mince being in
your home for an entire shitting in your toilets yeah no he knows no shitting policy but uh it's
oh he's going to shit we're gonna have
him in the basement i'm walking around to the back he's not gonna see the main floors he'll
only be in the basement well you're closing him off closing him off yeah um put it up like a
baby gate yeah that would get a shock i don't think you'd be able to get past it
so is it a finished basement or an oh yeah it's finished all right i thought you were
gonna fill them yeah no I'll put newspapers down.
But I don't know.
I've gotten close to inviting him before, and we always had people say, no, come to the office.
Well, now it makes the most sense, and he's coming to my house.
He's going to have Thanksgiving dinner.
He's going to sleep over then.
He's not sleeping over.
How's he getting back? He said he has a car, and he can get back.
That's what he says.
And if I have to, I will drive him back during the night and come back.
He is not sleeping over.
There's also a hotel across the street.
We're fine.
We're fine.
There's a hotel across the street?
Not across the street, but down the road.
Are there any good pizza places in town that you could visit?
Actually, Antioch Pizza is where I don't know if you're going to go.
They have eight locations throughout the northwest suburbs,
and franchising opportunities are available if you DM me.
Oh.
I'll give you a franchisee.
Yeah, I'm adding one thing every time I talk about it.
Love it.
By the way, Black Friday starts in two days,
20% off in the whole entire Barstool store.
Some of our most clever apparel.
Yeah, cargo.
If you're a golfer, you can wear this.
Yeah.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Pretty sick. Too soon. Will, was that okay? Too this. Yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa. Too soon.
Will, was that okay?
Too soon, Will.
Oh, you know, that was unintentional.
I was just playing my part.
Yeah, our team.
Barstool golf.
Actually, I have a question.
You're giving your money to the producers,
but we're also already giving money to producers.
Yeah.
You guys tried to one-up.
No, it was already established.
Okay.
So Dave is, we have a goal, and if we hit it,
anything over the goal is going to get split up
for all the behind-the-scenes people at Barstool.
Yeah, I don't think any of my guys see that.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Are you separate from main Barstool?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
So they work for you.
So you're a Barstool team player, and you're not even really on the team right wow ish that's crazy wait so
jp there's no ish in team are those guys not barstool employees no jp hovey yeah oh they're
will compton employees yeah damn so wait is it cool if i unfollow those guys yeah fuck those
guys yeah you don't mess with my guys marcel for life who's that jack i fuck with him heavy Yeah. Damn. So wait, is it cool if I unfollow those guys? Yeah. Fuck those guys.
Yeah.
You don't mess with my guys, man.
Marshall for life.
Who's that, Jack?
I fuck with them heavy.
Jack, Garrett, JP.
Good crew.
They've done a great job of finding four guys that all kind of look like each other.
They do.
Man, when Taylor had his long hair, him and Jack were identical.
Yeah.
They're good dudes.
Yeah.
But now I'm going to have to delete their numbers.
Yeah, I'd love to work with them one day.
They're dead to me.
It's all right.
We're still here.
We're still here to serve, man.
What are you serving?
My guys are your guys.
Brick by brick.
Brick by brick, not schtick by schtick.
Yeah.
It's the Dan Katz school.
The Dan Katz school. We work work hard we eat random shit that's what
we do bricks and shticks we're not shtick people isn't that right titus yeah we don't
t-shirts cheap pops not us you don't make no thank you you're idiot. If you don't have a brick-by-brick or a stick-by-stick T-shirt by Sunday,
that's wild.
Yeah.
For Black Friday.
Saying Davey Page Views is not stick-by-stick was.
We all do sticks.
So stupid.
Very funny, too.
It's fun.
Sticks are the best.
Davey Day Trader and Davey Page Views.
A little stick wrestling match.
That was a good time.
That was a good stick.
Would never. Yeah, case races. Stick match. He doesn't do shtick. No, no. That was a good shtick. Would never.
Yeah, case races.
Shtick.
I want to come on the case race.
Let me know when the next case race is.
The Bachelor has been texting me about the case race.
I'll fucking come out for that.
A lot.
Bro, the case races, yeah.
Can we do teams?
Spin for teams?
Yeah, you might be too good.
So usually what happens, well, the only time I was on it,
it does feel like it gets competitive.
Why are you explaining it?
Because that's what happened.
You didn't drink?
That's true.
Well, no, I drank the last time.
I drank the last time.
I had 14 cupcakes once.
Yeah, that was funny.
Jay almost fought a guy.
Yeah, he did.
What position?
I saw him come out from behind the mask.
That went reviral like a week ago.
Got a million views on YouTube what's it unbelievable another account posting uh barstool producer
tries to fight shangulas oh yeah yeah he's like get your boy dude i was like they're gonna go
i love it this is good that's that's only on the yak right is that what that was on the yak
that was on the yak in fairness it was never yak. In fairness, it was never fight. It was just wrestle. Yeah.
You were bowing up back there.
Yeah, it seemed fighty.
Getting big.
Getting big.
You do weird things when you have 10 beers in an hour.
See, that's why you do a case race, though, because things happen.
It's memorable stuff.
Yeah, we got to get you involved.
I think our first case race with Bussin's coming up.
You can.
We're going to lie.
Poppers.
Case of poppers.
Spin the wheel.
He's doing the popper.
Me first.
Let's zoom the boys in from Chicago.
Man, a case race with all these activities we got got out here is going to be a little bit difficult.
Oh, yeah.
What up, Chef?
Do you want all the things at once or as they come out?
Oh, my God.
Oh, I think as they come out.
As they come out would be great.
I didn't smell mint in there, so I didn't assume.
Look at his urgency.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
What's for dinner tonight outside of this?
Yeah, mint dumplings.
You're going to be fast asleep, bro.
No, I got some uppers.
Oh, hell yeah.
Hey, now.
Come on now, Kyle.
Uh-oh.
Go find Nicky Smokes.
Nicky Smokes, yeah.
Sketchball walking around.
Legend.
Nicky, where are the hoes, man?
He's got some uppers.
Known weirdo.
I saw him earlier just wearing a, I think he said three different Dolphins jerseys on.
Vintage jerseys.
He's funny, dude.
I heard him talking outside to some guests we had.
I guess he's going to the game and trying to link up with them.
I don't want to say too much.
That's amazing.
He's good at networking.
Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. He's good at networking. Yeah.
That's amazing. I heard the whole conversation.
Yeah. A lot more than networking.
Jerry, are these
of the male or the
female gender? Male.
Jerry, what do you mean by that? We're talking about Nicky Smokes.
He had a rough game of golf today.
Jerry? I played well. We had a great competitive at golf today. Jerry?
I played well.
We had a great competitive match. Yeah, it was competitive, which is great.
What do we got, Brando?
So I have a picture.
Say it in the mic.
I have a picture of the base that went into you guys' dumpling.
Oh, yeah.
If you'd like to see it.
Yeah, I would.
Yeah.
Send it to TJ.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what we do with pictures, right?
We do send pictures to TJ.
Yeah, all the time.
I'm nervous about this.
Yeah, it's...
It was...
First draft.
We all felt really good about it.
We all know our first draft.
There you go, TJ.
Can you name all the ingredients that went ahead of us?
Well, they weren't like that.
Everybody got a different mixing.
We're professional now.
Let's – oh.
Yeah.
Should we be concerned?
It looks interesting.
Well, there's green in there, which alarms Brandon.
Yeah.
Brandon's like, oh, this looks disgusting.
Green means poison.
Yeah. Poison. Oh. That's us, oh, this looks disgusting. Green means poison. Poison.
Oh!
That's us?
Yeah, that's you.
That's not bad.
That's a little pukey.
It's a little pukey.
You know, this reminds me of my Expedia trip to Rome.
Really?
This was a lot of the dishes were looking a lot like this.
Yeah, this looks fine, man.
We go to Rome, this is what it looks like.
Before they put it together.
Well, we're putting it in a dumpling, so you don't really have to see it anyway.
That doesn't look bad.
No, that doesn't look bad. That doesn't look that bad. It's not bad. Going inside of a dumpling? That's solid. Well, we're putting it in a dumpling, so you don't really have to see it anyway. That doesn't look bad. No, that doesn't look bad.
That doesn't look that bad.
It's not bad.
Going inside of a dumpling?
That's solid.
No, I'm being serious.
Brandon saw the green and was like...
Is that Amatriciana?
Yikes.
I think it is.
I think it is.
I think I'm right.
Amatriciana.
No, it's not.
Okay.
Yeah, that looks like a...
It's a fun word.
There's a light green thing in there.
Maybe a poke bowl?
Pickles?
It looks a little bit like a poke bowl.
Yeah.
Guys, we're good.
It didn't look terrible.
No, I'm excited.
I know that was like a little scary tactic.
Nah.
Wait a minute, yeah, I'll go check out yours.
I thought it looked interesting.
Show us yours.
Yeah, show us yours.
We showed you ours.
Movie.
There's a report that came out saying Diddy saying that Diddy blew up
kid Cuddy's car what yeah he did he's dead no no no he just he blew up one of
his car took a big shit he blew up one of his car mafia style he's getting
pissed off about I guess maybe his Ex-girl dating Kid Cudi
They're like
Showing all these court documents
Saying
Diddy
Those were one of the incidents
That happened
Blew up his car
Diddy grew so angry
That he blew up Kid Cudi's car
What the hell
That's a
Crazy
Without a minute
Dude
Do rappers still beef like that
Diddy is like
I feel like
From the 80s bro
Yeah that's true He's That's easy Diddy's from the 80s, bro. Yeah, that's true.
Diddy's like Grand Theft Auto, bro.
Geriatric at this point.
He's got money.
I don't keep up with the rap game anymore.
Do they blow each other's cars up?
Probably if you're that.
That's more like a mafia.
There's two ways you can go as a rapper.
You either put out a I retired from weed post at 50 years old
and blow up Kid Cudi's car.
Yeah. Kid Cudi's car. Yeah.
Kid Cudi's going to get depressed over that.
Where's Brandon?
Brandon has to defend this guy.
He's dealing with mental health.
You've got to answer to Brandon.
He's the gatekeeper there.
How about that?
He was just like.
Yeah, he got defensive.
Oh, you mean the guy that was taking a couple weeks off for mental health reasons?
You're talking about the dealer.
That's what he gave me after I celebrated.
He's coming at you.
Oh, yeah, that's Brandon, though.
It's a total BF move.
Because he would do the same thing and think like he's innocent.
He's like, you're getting real excited about that.
I am.
You know?
He's not built for the box hole like that.
And I'm not even a Lane Kiffin guy.
I historically don't like Lane Kiffin.
Oh, he just hates Lane Kiffin. Yeah, I was't like Lane Kiffin. He just hates Lane Kiffin.
Yeah, I was just saying.
He's just identifying an opportunity to shit on Ole Miss.
So, Lane Kiffin.
No, dude.
Yeah, you guys agree.
Lane Kiffin could save a puppy and Brandon would be like,
that puppy deserves to die.
That puppy was trying to kill itself.
Yeah, right.
That puppy was a threat to kids.
Yeah, that puppy has an incurable disease,
and we were trying to put it down.
Lane Kiffin's a terrible person.
I thought Brandon was trying to make an all cute.
I thought he was trying to make an allusion to himself that we torment him here.
Yeah.
Does he have a crush on Donnie?
He was projecting.
I think he was projecting.
I don't want Kyle to kill Brandon.
He wants to fuck Donnie.
That's a flirty lead.
That's a crush lead right there.
Kyle, I've never been that lustful.
Oh, my god.
So what you
cooking? Kyle, I'm pretty sure Brandon called you a jive turkey.
He did. I don't even
know what that means, but I know it's bad.
He's putting his hand on his... That's so funny.
You're so funny. Donnie.
You're so funny. He's just hungry.
Yeah. For Donnie.
This is great.
For fucking cum, dude.
Thanks, Jer.
I like cum.
Not like cum.
What?
I like cherry.
I like to cum.
No, that's not what you said, B.
I can't say I like cum.
Hey, yo, what the fuck?
Wait, what just popped up on screen?
I got a green screen back here now.
What?
What'd you just throw up there?
Oh!
Whoa!
Oh!
That's really cool.
Whoa!
That's amazing.
Do you think we could scare Brandon?
Holy shit!
There's a lion in the studio.
There's a lion right in studio. Don't freak out.
There's a lion right in front of you.
Jerry, what's your favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Yeah.
Is the back of Kyle's head going to get us taken down from YouTube?
Stuffing.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Yeah, do it.
I know what you're going to do.
Stop.
This is the head?
I think that, yeah, that's like your circumcision scar.
I'm clean.
How do they look, Brandon?
They look good.
I mean, Donnie's.
Did you take pics?
I did. Gary, you're a stuffy cat.
You didn't?
That's the whole mission.
Because they were already made up.
They were already made up by the time I got there.
He said ours was the easiest to make into a dumpling.
You're too busy looking at Donnie's ass.
You were flirtatious as fuck.
They were already made up.
He said theirs will be the best?
Yeah.
Fuck!
So you guys are in the middle.
It was hard to make and it sucks. what's your guy putting together what are you talking about your guy is over there
building something lucas lucas oh those are uh those are racks oh you're already after dark
i only had one oh what's it a rack for? I'm going to start a stream up. Late night stream.
Yeah. Jerry.
Can I plug it? Yeah, plug it.
Plug it. Yeah, I don't really plug
anything. Alright, so let's... Wait, can we do
the high noon ad read real quick? Yeah, do that.
I mean, it's bad timing.
Do that.
Yeah, Jerry, go ahead.
I think I got it on purpose.
Alright, yeah, yeah ahead. I know.
It's time to load up the ice and break out the oversized lawn games because the High Noon Game Day Pack is back.
It includes limited edition fan faves.
Pear and cranberry along with black cherry and grapefruit
made with real vodka, real juice, 100 calories, gluten-free,
no added sugar.
The High Noon Game Day Pack is a fall exclusive,
which means it's here for a good time, not a long time.
So visit highnoonspirits.com before your next tailgate
to find a pack near you.
High Noon.
Whoa.
And I ain't lying.
Oh, shit.
Was that good?
Yeah, you're my main man.
I ain't lying.
I'm just talking turkey.
Go ahead and gobble up those high noons, folks.
Gobble, gobble.
Jerry.
Well done.
Plug away.
I would like the rooms, if you guys give me feedback, if it's a good idea, bad idea.
Be honest.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so I had this idea.
Jerry After Dark.
Going to be some challenges.
The first official one will be this week
coming up. When?
Next week. Sorry. Hold on, Jerry.
Hold that thought.
I love this bit.
Team three.
That is us.
Oh, my God. That's looking incredible.
By the way, boys, I'm gluten intolerant.
You have to eat all these.
Show it to the camera.
You can't have gluten.
Nah, man.
Jerry, we'll get you in a second.
Nah, I'll just have it and get sick.
It's not a big deal.
He's bringing the camera around right now.
There it is.
Those smell good.
They smell good.
Holy shit.
It might be the pastry.
It smells like pizza.
I think it's the puff pastry.
Yeah, I think we're smelling the man.
All right. Okay, so one,'re smelling the man. All right.
Okay, so one, two, three, four, five.
I'll eat one.
Four, five.
Zah, you got to get in it.
Oh, yeah, Zah.
Oh, Zah, yeah.
Zah!
I'll eat one.
We'll let you have yours.
I don't want you to ruin your appetite.
There he is.
We can all go at the same time.
Although, that's hot as fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, these look fleshy almost.
All right, so, Jerry, what?
So, you're doing challenges, huh?
What challenges?
What was the thing?
Oh, my God, I smelled it.
I'm going to interrupt.
No, no, you're not.
Why did I smell it?
What are you?
Here, yeah, I'll take mine.
Here you go.
Oh, we've got to watch the meat.
We've got to watch the meat.
Here.
They eat the whole thing?
Oh, we've got to eat the plate, yeah.
Eat the plate?
No, not eat the plate, but eat the full thing that's on the plate.
Is he prepping all of them at the same time?
No, he did that one first because it was easy.
How is it?
No reaction yet.
He put R2 in the freezer to harden them up a little bit because it was going to be runny.
Really, really ketchupy.
No, this should be.
Really ketchupy.
Takes him about two minutes every time.
Yeah, Kyle doesn't like it.
It's gone.
What is it?
Really ketchupy.
You ate it all?
Oh, your eyes are watering.
I ate it all. What was it? That looked good. You ate it all? Oh, your eyes are watering. I ate it all.
What was it?
That looked good.
Tell us the taste, the overcoming taste.
What were the tastes?
Can we run the ingredients back?
I'd like to give my compliments to the chef on a fabulous pastry job there and doing his
best to put makeup on a pig there.
What were the ingredients?
It was kale.
It was pizza Lunchables.
It was ketchup, and it was cheese.
I knew it.
Ketchup is ruining it, right?
Is there a pickle in there?
I'm not loving it.
I like it.
I like it.
It's not good inside.
It looks like a pizza pocket.
I don't know.
The veggies are disagreeing with the ketchup.
Yes, that's what I will say.
The veggies.
See, I told you we were smart.
No, you had the worst one by far.
But we're through it, guys.
You were through it.
They're not through it.
We'll get to find out.
This thing is going to be good.
There's many ways to do this.
But if we would have just had the art of doing it,
it would have been so much better.
Oh, my God.
We had to block them.
They got what they wanted.
That's what happened to me earlier in that chair with the burrito.
All right, so, Jerry, you're going to have challenges.
All right, so the first challenge.
Hey, let me get that last one, Nick.
Jerry, the dark's canceled.
I'm not going to run it.
All right, Jerry, when is the first challenge?
Tuesday night.
Wait, but is that we're airing this on Wednesday?
That's last night.
True.
Doesn't matter then.
No, no, but tell people what they can expect.
For next episode.
Or the challenge.
And the thing is, if we can tweak it, we can just still do it.
It's not like it happened.
True.
See, Jerry, this is what, so I'm very excited for Jerry After Dark.
It's going to be great.
Explain it, and then I have an idea for it.
Okay, so pretty much I want to do late night streams from like 9 to like 1 a.m.
or 9 to like 2 a.m. streaming the whole time.
The first challenge is going to be picture an NBA three-point challenge, right?
There's going to be a clock.
The clock's going to count down from two minutes.
There'll be five racks set up around the three-point line, five balls in each.
One of them is the money ball.
Obviously, money ball counts as two. Now, the goal is to hit 20 points. Each ball is one,
money ball is two. I'll never probably hit 20, but here's the catch. Every 15 minutes,
I get a half-court shot. If I make it, it goes from 20 to 19.
Here's another catch.
Every 2,000, or I haven't made up my mind,
every 2,000 or every 2,500 subscribers, it goes up a point.
Oh.
That's good.
I would watch that for a while.
I would, too.
I would tune in for a while.
Those are two good catches.
That's incredible.
Now, will you be mic'd up during it?
Yes.
Okay.
And, Joey, what I'm going to say was once you get it rolling,
I think it would be fun if we did Jerry After Dark with the yak.
The whole cast joined you for one episode.
I'd love that.
That kind of stuff would be great.
Yeah, I mean, but I had a hard time getting people on board.
What?
Oh, I think everybody here would do it.
Yes.
Yeah, it'd be great.
I'd love it.
I'll watch it.
Come on Tuesday night.
Yeah, I think it'll be good.
I'll be late, but I'll come.
One thing I was really worried about the subscriber thing is I can get banged, but at the same
time, there's just like-
You're going to get banged?
Yeah, but there's just like no way 10,000 people will subscribe.
Yeah, there is.
Because that would be two, four, 6, 8, that would
add 5 points, which I
would never leave. So you would be here
forever? I would have to keep hitting the head for sure. Is the first
episode going to last forever?
Is this the Truman Show?
Hey,
listen, it might.
It very well might. What will you be doing between
the shots?
What do you mean, between shots?
You said you're going to shoot every five minutes?
You said the clock goes down from two minutes.
Two minutes.
You're trying to get 20 points using ones and a two ball.
Correct.
And if you make a half-court shot.
Every 15 minutes I get a half-court shot.
So the two-minute clock just keeps going.
Yeah, wait, what is the?
There's two minutes and then.
So there's a clock on an NBA
three-point contest, which is
usually, I think, a minute. I'm not an NBA
player. I'm going to
give myself two minutes. You're going to shoot two minutes.
How many? What if you
get 20? If you get 20, you're done.
If you get 20, you're done.
Stream's done. See ya. I like this.
Go do a rack.
Do you want to see one?
Let's just see from one spot. I'll help you out. I'll this. You go do a rack? Yeah, go do a rack real quick. Yeah, do one. I want to see one. One rack?
Yeah, let's just see from one spot. I'll help you out.
I'll help you out.
Top of the key.
Come on, Jerry.
Yeah.
I hate that I missed this because I don't want to, but what are you doing?
He's doing Jerry after dark in his first challenge.
It's going to be different challenges for himself.
Okay.
He has to get 20 points in two minutes from the three-point line.
He's going to have a rack at every station.
20 points, not 20 makes.
It's going by ones and twos.
There's a money ball in every one.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, go.
Are we timing it?
All right.
Uh-oh.
There's two there.
This is the worst promo ever.
He's going to.
Okay. All right. That's a money ball. Four. worst promo ever. He's going to. Okay.
All right.
That's a money ball.
Four.
Jerry, you're going to.
You got four in seven seconds.
You got four in eight seconds.
The first episode of Jerry After Dark is going to be like five minutes.
But since he's getting like a.
He's saying a point goes up.
Just throw that out for Kyle to clean up.
2,500 subscribers.
No.
So what you guys don't get is.
That may have looked easy, but picture.
That may have looked easy.
Picture how tired. Are you selling me a Cutco knife right now?
Picture how tired I'm going to be.
I'm exhausted after those shots.
Agreed.
So imagine how tired I'm going to be and my arm is going to be.
True.
And the pressure will be on.
Correct.
I can shoot.
And every 2,500 subscribers
It goes up a point
Correct
I think you should do
Wait
The minutes is kind of
Two minutes is kind of irrelevant
Because you'll always
Be faster than two minutes
The thing is this
I don't want people to be like
I'm setting up for a shot
You know what I mean?
I think it has to be less time then
I think it has to be a minute and a half
Minute 40
Okay, minute 30
And are you doing it
This next Tuesday before Thanksgiving?
Yeah, that was the plan.
You're going to miss Thanksgiving.
It might be tough.
It might be.
You're going to have people here to do it with you?
Is that also like a night that people are traveling and stuff?
I don't know.
Maybe we'll do it the week after?
You might need to do it the week after because it's going to be harder to get people.
No, just go for it.
Or just go for it.
He's right.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I mean, Hank's just been delaying the whole process.
Oh, yeah.
Hank.
You asked a question.
You said it was a good idea.
I think it's a very solid idea.
It's a great idea.
I like the premise.
He's going to do a stream in the next month or so where he's got to make a hole-in-one
before he ends it.
Yeah, so that's what I want to build up to.
So that's your next iteration.
50,000 subscribers on a new channel.
I'll do a hole-in-one stream.
Can't leave until you get it.
Love it.
On the simulator, I assume.
Yeah.
Okay.
Can the Yak come up with a challenge for you to do one night?
Of course.
I'd love that.
The more ideas, the better.
Eight-minute mile.
Oh, Jerry.
Nine minutes. It's back-to-back until he makes it. We're going to have a treadmill here. Eight-minute mile. Oh, Jerry. Nine minutes.
He's back-to-back until he makes it.
We're going to have a treadmill here.
Eight-minute mile?
Because I'm not very good at running.
I mean, I am.
Here we go, number two.
Number two.
Will, how did you like ours?
Solid.
Yeah, it was solid.
All right.
Donnie, what are your thoughts on this one?
Oh, the melatonin's on top.
The worst.
The worst.
Oh, those are damn bad.
The worst?
Yeah, what are you?
You said the worst? The worst. Oh, those are jam-packed. The worst? Yeah, what are you? You said the worst?
Of course.
Jerry, now, is it always going to be sports-related?
It doesn't have to be.
I just figured I'd use the space, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could do one where you go out with, like, one of those GoPro hats
and you see how long it takes you to get a phone number.
You know what I mean?
Kyle, we played this one at the zoo.
We had to find how many pairs of purple shoes.
Jay, did you just throw them?
Whoever could find the most.
And there's more than you'd think.
Yeah.
Remember when you took our clip bar?
What?
In stores?
Jay just ate the whole thing in one bite.
You better get one.
Oh, that looks fucking...
It's not good.
We'll see.
Jay likes...
Jay thinks...
It's just like taste. I don't really. We'll see. Jay likes it. Jay thinks it's good.
It's just like taste.
I don't really.
You had spinach.
What did you have?
I don't know what the.
Ice cream.
It's like toothpaste and coffee. Start off bar, right?
A mint.
It doesn't taste like anything, but also tastes like a lot of things.
What's the texture?
Hey, it's not bad.
But what's the taste that's like the most powerful?
Chef Donnie might be too good.
Yeah.
I think his face right now, dude.
We are sitting pretty.
Ours is going to be legitimate.
I think ours.
We already ate.
Yeah.
Anybody want to try?
I just, yeah.
I just had one.
I don't really know what.
Eat up.
Why don't you?
We'll tell you.
What was the taste? I don't know. what. Eat up. We'll tell you. What was the taste?
I don't know.
Right.
What?
That's how I felt.
It was confounding.
I was trying to figure out.
It didn't taste bad.
It just tasted off.
Right.
Yeah.
That's how I would describe it.
It's not disgusting.
It's not the most disgusting thing we did.
Yeah.
But all of them together, I don't know what I'm eating.
It's like when you put a bunch of jelly beans together.
I tell you, it's like a weird.
It's a bunch of different flavors.
That birthday cake ice cream was.
And a little, the sport pepper, I got a little of that.
Kind of like a.
Can I throw an idea out there?
Not pepto-bismol.
Maybe using Chef Donnie for this is a mistake because he's going to know how to minimize the bad stuff and make it taste better than it should.
Yeah, probably.
But it was good for Thanksgiving because we didn't, we're having fun.
We're having a good time.
We're eating, we're breaking bread.
What are we going to eat for dinner?
I don't know.
You guys want to get Chinese?
I'm getting hungry.
Yeah?
Oh, geez.
You know we're getting milkshakes.
You want Chinese, Jay?
Yeah.
We're definitely getting that butter cake.
What's your order, Jay?
I know you're excited for that one, Jerry.
I can't wait.
General Tso's chicken.
But actually, this place is really good.
Some of the best Chinese food I've ever had.
Wait, where?
The place that we get for, I don't know who orders it,
but whatever we get from here, this area is very good.
You know what he's talking about, Dan?
What? The Chinese he's talking about, Dan? What?
The Chinese he's talking about.
Yeah, the one that Jack McCarthy gets.
Let's do it.
Man, that boy Lucas, man.
I heard good things about him.
He's a good dude, bro.
I like him.
I like him.
Bully Art.
Lucas, the Madden professional?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good game for the Chiefs. Mm-hmm. Blowout the Madden professional? Yeah. Yeah. Good game for the Chiefs.
Mm-hmm.
All out.
Ain't going to happen.
You don't think so?
Eagles are nice, man.
Yeah, they're nice.
I don't.
It's like very.
I think the thing is when you eat something and you can't tell what you're tasting, it's
a very weird feeling.
I know. It's kind of bothering you, right? Right. It's almost like you want to try it you're tasting, it's a very weird feeling. I know.
It's kind of bothering you, right?
Right.
It's almost like you want to try it again.
Yeah, because it's like, what did I eat?
Shocks the system.
Oh, yeah.
I tell you what, if we would have had that artichoke dip.
Yeah, it would have sucked.
No, that would have been good.
Oh, shit.
That would have been amazing.
We're still not a lot.
Instead of the ice cream?
I like the team draft format.
Yes, it's because we have moments where it's like,
no, someone's going to go rogue.
We're jumping for that.
Oh, man.
All right, TJ, in preparation for the last team,
why don't we spin the wheel so when the last team eats,
we can let everyone get out of here.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm thankful for you guys.
I love doing this show. I'm thankful for you guys I love doing this show I'm thankful for you back
I love the chat
I love the people that watch
Thank you
Should we go around
To be behind you
Yeah we did
I'm thankful for a place to stay
Oh my god
That was so dumb
How did that
He never caps his drinks
Never will
That was so dumb
Never has never will.
We were just trying to be nice to each other.
I know.
TJ, people are going to call that a rigged wheel.
Why?
It's also out of sync, so we don't know.
Dry, dry.
That's true.
It jumped the order of the wheel.
What does this mean?
Nothing.
It's good.
We're good.
Oh, yeah, you saw a mousetrap earlier today.
Wet is the worst.
How's your hand?
Okay.
The new mousetrap hurts.
Yeah. That was fun to watch was it i didn't know if you're gonna go finger or but you went oh we
gotta get name wheel on the on the wheel yes yes yes because mine is gonna be
i said what mine is oh take off? Hey, it's a... Mine's double mousetrap.
Mine's put it on endlessly.
Mine's going to be put on only for Brandon.
Mine just says mousetrap mania.
What about taser?
Taser's fine.
Taser's a great idea.
Let's be easy here.
Taser's an okay idea.
No taser.
No taser.
Low voltage.
Go to sleep's a good one.
But I want it to be single now.
Remind me again.
We have to do something we can do right away.
Yeah.
And.
Like we did.
The best one that we had was the fart eliminator.
That was one of the funniest episodes we had.
I'm so jealous.
I want to bring that back.
I remember watching the fart eliminator live and I've never been more jealous.
Yeah.
It was.
I loved it.
You too, Kyle.
It was.
Eliminator.
We caught. We loved it. You too, Kyle. Fart eliminated? We caught,
we hit it.
Oh!
That was so cute!
We hit it,
we hit it on the wheel
and we couldn't,
you couldn't leave the show
until you farted in the mic.
So it went for like
four and a half hours.
It was so funny.
We like bought snacks
to try to fart.
That's awesome.
I ripped a,
you had a performance. I had's awesome. I ripped them.
You had a performance. I had a performance.
I love that idea.
Titus used to be so respected, man.
I know. He just farted on your mic.
With a turkey.
I still feel like I'm not getting enough respect around here.
I don't know what I have to do. I don't know how many
times
do I have to
start a golf brand. I don't know what I have to do. I don't know how many times do I have to.
Start a golf brand.
Some respect.
Some respect.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
Get that mostly sports golf polo going, man.
Don't fuck with the mac and cheese either.
We actually, yeah, I meant to say something. We don't exist.
We do.
Mostly sports.
We do kind of own sports now.
It's in our name of our show.
That's true.
So, like, if anybody at this company talks sports, they got to ask us, right?
Yeah.
Did that little fart kind of stink?
Sports go through us now.
Small but mighty.
My goodness.
Back to punch.
I got to cap this water.
Yeah, you got to fart in your water, man.
Oh, dude.
Wow.
I wish I could fart right now.
I know, man.
I know.
When I was watching you guys, I was, I'm not kidding.
That was the most envious I've ever been in my life.
I was like, I wish I could do that.
That just seems so fun.
Just fart with your boys.
Yeah.
It's the best.
Yeah, we're just, everyone.
Cutting the cheese, dude.
You're a world-class farter.
I am.
Yeah.
And that's just, I am.
I don't hype you up enough.
I'm being honest.
I am.
Are we talking smell?
Are we talking about the lose a fart?
Never smell.
Yeah, what's the criteria here?
I think I probably average the most per day out of anyone I know.
Yeah.
You have control.
It's like you can do it whenever you want.
But now I can't.
I just tried.
Oh, yeah?
Something like that.
I don't get it.
Can you...
I start counting my farts.
I don't know how to phrase it other than like eat a fart.
Like can you...
If you have to fart, can you like hold it and not...
And make it go away?
You know?
In a situation where I have to, I think that's happened, yeah.
You can do that? You have that much think that's happened yeah you can do that you
have that much control that like the fart is brewing but you're also like i'm in like church
you're in church yeah i think it would go away back up in your gut oh it turns into a burp well
the lord would take your your gas because i don't i don't do that i try to i try to pass it
yeah i try to pass it do you try to grab one cheek and have it take out silently actually
the holy spirit yeah that's the Holy Spirit.
It's like Morse code.
Uh-oh.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh!
That was good.
Who did it?
I'm excited to talk into that tomorrow.
Very nice, Jerry.
Oh, oh, oh, lucky boys.
Dessert.
Here we go.
Prediction.
Prediction.
Awful, awful, awful texture.
No, I think these are going to revolutionize modern confections. Oh. They're hard to make. They kind of fell apart. Thank you, Donnie. Prediction. Awful, awful, awful texture. No, I think these are going to revolutionize modern confections.
Oh.
They're hard to make.
They kind of fell apart.
Thank you, Chef Don.
Oh, those look.
Thanks, Chef.
Oh, what a twist.
Thank you, Chef.
Thank you, Chef.
Eat that white dog.
Oh, that looks weird, boy.
Oh, you guys made a mistake.
Eat that white dog shit.
Oh, it's grippy.
Get Brandon's face. Oh, get's grippy. Get Brandon's face.
Oh, get Brandon's face.
Why are you shaking?
It's slimy.
Oh, it's not good.
Look at Brandon.
It ain't.
Brandon, it ain't.
Oh, it's good.
Oh, he's having fun.
Oh, no.
Ew.
I told him to prepare for the slops.
Jerry did say he likes cum.
Like verbatim.
Wait, they're good?
Oh, shit.
No.
It all backfired.
Nick, it wasn't even out of context.
He was just like, I like cum.
I really.
Kyle?
Very good.
What did he say?
No, not.
Fuck.
Not like that.
Wait, Brandon, are you having the second one?
I lost this draft.
That is so good.
They enjoyed themselves so much.
Sorry, Will.
I'd order this at like a food truck. Somebody else try it.
Bring it over here.
The mint was actually perfect.
Fuck. That pisses
me off. I'm so mad. No, you got it.
No, no, no. Will. You got it.
Does Donnie have to save this recipe?
Jerry, you're getting me two props tonight
from the golf.
No problem. But we're gonna, you know, we'll split it.
Mm-hmm.
Of course.
We'll split the winnings.
Yes.
Of which there will be many.
Are they biased?
They're biased.
What were we thinking, Mark?
It's just a lot of candy.
Yeah, so the course was good.
Right.
Just sugar.
That's what we did.
Yeah.
Sugar and milk.
Made it really good on purpose.
Of course.
And we couldn't stop you.
You guys are so fucking stupid. Damn. There's nothing you can stop us. Good game. Yeah, they did it. good on purpose. Of course. We couldn't stop you. You guys are so fucking stupid.
Damn, there's nothing you can stop us.
Yeah, they did it.
They did it.
Junior Mint, work.
I tried.
They do work.
Good work.
I overthought it.
The Mint does overpower.
Yeah.
Fuck.
In a good way.
All I taste is Junior Mint.
Damn it.
All right.
Yeah, in a good way.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Good show, everyone.
Yeah.
That was a fun show. Kyle, Will, Jerry,. Happy Thanksgiving. Good show, everyone. Yeah. That was a fun show.
Kyle, Will, Jerry, thank you for joining us.
Of course.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
Please go to the Barstool store on Black Friday.
We'll be back on Monday.
Any last words?
Thankful for all of you out there.
Yeah.
Yes.
We had a dream job because of you.
Mm-hmm.
And shout out, Kyle, for giving me that Ravens pick.
Oh, me?
Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I told you you should have went with us, BC.
Why?
The Ravens won.
The Bengals.
The Ravens won.
Well.
All right.
See everyone on Monday.
See you, Scott.
Good work, boys.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Easy act. Get your stride, yes, Scott. Good work, everybody.
We're thankful for you guys.
If you're going out on Thanksgiving Eve tonight, stay safe.
Tell your high school crush that you've been in love with her for years.
And have a great break.
We'll see you on Monday.
Bye.
And buy the merch.
Black Friday.
Bunch of Yak stuff.
Mostly sports.
There's a couple shirts.
Part of my take.
Obviously, all your faves.
Trust the data.
Money goes to the fellas in the booth.
Help us out.
All right, bye.