The Yak - Will Compton Might Be The World's Worst Handyman | The Yak 11-02-23
Episode Date: November 2, 2023No, it's a sitting poolYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. that off yo
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We have Willie C in here.
Check.
Check, check.
Check, check.
We got Jersey Jerry in here.
Mook and Nick are out.
Kate's also out.
Kate's out.
She's still not back, huh?
Yeah, still not back.
Damn.
What's going on with your hair?
Does my hair not look good?
No, it looks like...
Good for one of us.
It's got, like, waves.
I think it looks great.
What's going on with it?
It took a couple jumpers.
Was that jealousy?
Do I sense a little jealousy?
It might be.
It might be.
Your hair might be...
I think it looks all right.
No, it looks like...
Was it waves to it?
It was waves.
It's cute as fuck, Mark.
There you go.
Yeah, would you want me to flip it?
Oh, yeah, yeah, there it is.
There it is.
Now it's perfect.
Now it's back.
Now it's perfect.
Holy fuck, that's beautiful.
The vibes are very high because we have passed inspection
and the basketball court is open.
Shooting ball.
Brandon, get it out of the way.
My wetness.
You got your wet?
Oh, I thought you were going to compliment mine.
No, you.
Yeah, say.
Talk your shit.
Oh, no.
Your first two jumpers, you nailed them.
You were shooting from far.
I was shooting from 40 feet, yeah.
Making them.
Yeah, no.
I'm probably the best shooter here.
Are you?
Yeah.
I mean, Mark Titus is sitting right there.
Okay, good.
I saw him.
I knew exactly who was sitting over there.
I know. I can see him. And I see you I saw him. I knew exactly who was sitting over there. I know.
I can see him.
And I see you looking at me.
I'm the best shooter in that gym.
It's fun.
In that gym.
But again, Kyle.
Kyle.
Hey, hey, hey.
I want to fully understand what you're saying here.
Say it again.
So make yourself clear.
If we go outside to that gym and both of us pick up a basketball,
I'm better at shooting that basketball into one of those.
Fuck you!
Into one of those.
Where's your unicycle?
You got to start building the unicycle.
You start building the unicycle.
But, yeah, it was like mods to a flame.
We've been waiting.
We've been sitting in this office for a week and a half
because we hadn't gotten the inspection passed.
I got back from pro football and college football show,
and I was like, Sully, grab me a ball.
I, like, took three shots, and the next thing you know,
it was like 20 people on the court.
And it was like, this is awesome.
This is awesome.
Played a game of knockout.
Weird that Brandon didn't win if he's the best shooter.
Knockout's not really a shooting game.
I won that.
What is knockout, then?
I got cheated, and Nicky Smokes threw me all off.
He hit my ball.
But yeah, the vibes are high.
There's a volleyball net?
Yeah, there's a volleyball net.
Monday will be the first day that we reveal everything we're making the video right now and
then we're off and running and it feels good are we playing any games today we could just can't
put them we just can't we can't yeah we can't next thursday there's been talks the first stream
that's gonna be fun full office little dodgeball dodgeball just two teams i think
we're gonna do four teams hell yeah because we're gonna have everyone we go in pe style where you
get four captains and everybody picks well i was thinking we do uh we're gonna show off everything
and maybe we do for we pick the fork we do longest drive to decide the four captains. Oh, nice.
Hey, that golf simulator is insane.
Is that thing operational yet?
Yeah.
I haven't took a swing yet.
I had a quadruple bogey yesterday on a hole.
How does that work?
Can you just say, hey, I'm playing around, like I'm playing nine,
or do you have to share it?
I think you've got to ask Jerry.
He's going to be the foreman in charge of that golf simulator.
I'm the nighttime guy.
Jerry's going to be on that thing.
Jerry and Hank.
The night's watch.
Yeah.
We should actually get like an old school clock in, clock out.
Yeah.
And see what Jerry and Hank log on the golf simulator.
I'd say at least six, seven a day.
Six, seven hours?
Six, seven hours.
Jesus Christ.
Not that many hours in the day.
It's 24.
That's true.
He's got a point.
Hey, did you guys talk about Bobby Knight dying?
We did.
A little bit, yeah.
How do you feel about that?
Are you conflicted?
Like, conflicted how?
I loved the words that everyone had to use in there.
Well, no.
It was basically every obituary was like, what were some loved the words that everyone had in there well no it was basically every obituary
was like um what were some of the words it was complicated complicated man yeah uh yeah like
it's it's hard to talk about it all it's like dude you could just say like he was a fucking
hell of a coach also an asshole yeah but it worked yeah he was he was a guy who uh figured out his way and then did not waver from that one
iota i like to think as society changed he was like fuck you society i'm not changing if he could
have written his own obituary the word asshole would have been in it oh yeah for sure for sure
that's when he was very self-aware you throw around words like passionate yeah passion yeah
complicated a lot of complicated.
That's tough.
Yeah.
You know how people, they just feel like if they give him too much love and praise, like
they're going to be put into some box and like, oh, you like this asshole?
Yeah.
Which is weird.
Did anyone in media make his death about themselves?
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I can think of one person.
Yeah.
He's got memorabilia for that.
Do you think he has memorabilia for me when i die
yeah he's probably got like the the didn't he do something about your kid yeah he tried to make a
twitter account for my kid he's probably got like a fake birthday for the year yeah yeah you stopped
that right away he might have your son's real i have the real dude this is weird but yeah he uh
he had a check that uh was written on behalf of Bobby Knight
because he got fined $500 for punching a cop in Puerto Rico.
I was like, look, Bobby Knight died.
Check this out, guys.
More than just having the memorabilia,
do you think he has pictures taken of all the memorabilia
so that he can be the first?
On deck.
He has a spreadsheet of people ready to die.
Yeah.
Wonder who he's looking at now.
Wonder who's on deck for him.
Who is next?
Jimmy Carter?
Hopkins.
Jimmy Carter's got to be.
Jimmy Carter's been just.
He probably has a president's file, though.
Jimmy Carter's been just beating the odds.
He's getting smaller and smaller.
Wait, he's alive?
Yes.
You remember the picture?
Yeah.
Can you find it, TJ, where he looks miniature?
It's Jill Biden and Joe Biden with the Carters,
and they look like bite-sized.
He's just. Because if you live to late 90s, 100s, you lose a lot of inches.
100%.
I'll kill myself if I get under six feet.
My grandmother died at 4'7".
4'7"?
Yep.
What was she walking around?
I think like 5'2", 5'3".
That sucks for us.
Just gravity, yeah.
Just pulling you down.
4'7". How tall are you? 6'2 1⁄2". That sucks for us. Just gravity, yeah. Just pulling you down.
How tall are you?
6'2.5". You might flirt with the line.
I'll be done if I go under 6.
I'm like the tallest 90-year-old.
Oh, yeah.
They don't make tall 90-year-olds.
Frank Howard just died at 87.
Look at this.
Oh, my God.
Look how small they are.
Holy shit. They're miniature. He at this. Oh, my God. Look how small they are. Holy shit.
They're miniature.
He can fit in the urn already.
They're bite-sized.
It looks like they're a fake set.
That's funny, yeah.
Yeah.
Like the set of Elf.
Yeah.
And they're both kneeling.
They do look...
That's a lovely dress.
That's an old-ass room.
What was that, TJ?
Yeah, what a shit house.
Probably a habit-havering man at the house. What a shit house. Probably a habit-haven for humanity house.
What a shit house.
I can see.
I don't know if I'm the only one.
I know Will can see it too.
But they seem to be blowing up all the dodgeballs
and just rolling the dodgeballs out there
so maybe a game will happen naturally.
Oh, yeah.
They're just all sitting there.
Why not?
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
Those might be kickballs, actually.
You're probably not very good at dodgeball, huh?
No. You're talking to Dan kickballs, actually. You're probably not very good at dodgeball, huh? No.
You're talking to Dan?
No, you.
Brandon?
Talking to Jerry?
Brandon?
This whole row right here, I would say you're probably number –
The worst?
Yeah.
I think I'm going to be outstanding at dodgeball.
No, you're too big of a target.
But if you catch it, you're fine.
You don't have hands like that.
You don't have hands like that.
I got hands like that. You can't have hands you don't have hands like
that you don't have hands like that i'm going to get a dodgeball and i'm going to throw one at you
in this room mark do you think um what do you think bobby knight's approval rating in the state
of indiana is was today like yesterday before he died is it still in the 90s pretty high yeah
yeah it's pretty high yeah it's it's kind of – the Indiana student newspaper used the word
controversial in the headline.
They said, like, controversial basketball coach Bob Knight dies,
and they got fucking killed for it.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's – yeah, because, like, the thing –
I just did a long show with my dad where we talked about it,
but, like, even the Purdue fans, they don't like Bob Knight,
but, like, Gene Katie was basically Bob Knight.
It's just Jean Katie didn't have Jean Katie didn't win in March.
So like he didn't have the national profile, but Jean,
but the Purdue coach was a huge fucking asshole too. Yeah.
So even the Purdue fans that are like, no, he was,
he got mad too often like that their coach did too.
So I think like everybody in Indiana,
the thing that was crazy about growing up in the nineties playing basketball is that every single coach thought they were bob knight right so that that was just like
the the way people coach basketball in that state was they ran motion offense and they yelled at you
that was my entire experience the craziest thing about bob knight and like all the success he had
is he had one nba all-star his entire entire career Isaiah Thomas but it's nuts my dad says
that yeah my dad said that Bob Knight could take a bad player and make him good but he could also
take a great player and make him good oh I like that that's a great that's a that's a dad line
that's a great line just teaching you about a ball coach when you're young yeah that was Bob
Knight Jerry you would have loved to play for Bob Knight. I've seen some clips yesterday. I love him. The one joke that he gets roasted for or gets criticized for is, like, right up your alley.
Someone asked him once, what would he do if he found out the world was about to explode?
And he said, I'd go watch a women's basketball game because it would be the longest hour of my life.
He's not wrong.
Yeah. Yeah, you're not wrong. Yeah.
Yeah, you're a Bob Knight guy.
Did you see the girl who won the WNBA championship?
She had no clue how to even smoke a cigar.
Did you see that?
That doesn't really...
That seems okay.
I was going to say play basketball.
That seems okay.
I don't know if that's a criticism.
I mean, if you're going to smoke a cigar, smoke it the right way.
I do agree.
She's probably not practiced before.
I suck at smoking cigars.
She did last year.
She should have learned from last year.
I hit you in the leg.
I caught it with my leg.
How did you catch it?
You're out.
It's on the ground right now.
100% out.
Mark, would you have responded well with Coach Knight?
No, I wouldn't have wanted to play for him at all.
You're out.
That's an out.
That was an out.
That was nice.
Yeah, what about you?
Do you respond well to coaches that are hard asses like that uh i mean bo bo was was hard i wouldn't say he was a lot
he was like i mean yeah bo was pretty hardcore yeah oh he's hardcore i would have been like
like i said like growing up in indiana like every coach from when i was like in third grade my third
grade coach was like oh we're gonna fucking fucking run. Everybody thought they were Bob Knight.
I wouldn't have been that shocked
if somehow I ended up on Indiana
playing for him.
It wouldn't have been a culture shock at all.
I would not have enjoyed it.
I would not have enjoyed it.
But then if you survive it,
then you got to go around and be like,
When you are getting coached hard,
how are you usually?
Are you somebody who snaps like, snaps back?
Yeah, sometimes.
If I don't respect a guy, because there's a lot of that.
I had a lot of coaches that, like, I could tell they were buffoons
and they were just putting on a false bravado.
And I would chirp back at those guys.
But if I respected you, I would fall in line.
So, I don't know.
Hard coaching. I'm a soft coach. I'm. I don't know. Hard coaching.
I'm a soft coach.
I'm a soft-ass coach.
Yeah.
Are you saying that?
Oh, yeah.
I'm a players coach.
You're a players guy?
Yeah.
Players coach.
Big time.
Just, you know, let them walk all over you.
Jerry, big time.
Oh, yeah.
Jerry knows.
Jerry's going to get a loan today.
Big time.
It is weird that I should talk about this loan, Jerry.
Yeah, what's up with it?
I've heard it a couple times now.
You're getting a loan?
Jerry wants a loan. I said I'd give him a loan. Jerry. Yeah, what's up with it? I've heard it a couple times now. You're getting a loan? Jerry wants a loan.
I said I'd give him a loan.
No problem.
For what?
Business.
Business-wise.
Rates are high out there.
Rates are extremely high.
That's the problem.
Yeah, you find a different bank.
Bank BC.
I know.
Pay that off.
Pay BC back.
It's easy.
Kind of interesting.
I'm not sure we can talk.
We can get back in the threes.
I don't know if Dan will let it get to the threes.
What did we say?
One and a half points a week? One. a week one point a week hmm a point a week
i'm not gonna charge you interest
there was a part of me when you asked and i was like yeah of course i'll help jerry out if he's
a little alone just fold him for a little bit. And I'm like, he was a crackhead.
Like, I am soft.
No more, no more, no more.
He's probably done this before.
You know what?
I actually, when I got sober, I made amends and paid everyone back.
Yeah, because you have to do stuff like that.
Yeah, that's huge.
Part of the program.
That's huge. Part of the program.ven how when were you doing this sheet because you
already have on this sheet that i won the first game at knockout literally just happened two
seconds ago you were in the game made to order made to order and you got a weird how what is
your favorite type of tree what yeah you Yeah, you don't have one?
No.
No, the second question's better.
What is your favorite type of tree, Brandon?
I got one.
No, a good oak.
Good, strong oak.
Oak?
A good oak, yeah.
I like a birch.
Are those the white ones? You don't see them very often.
Yeah, a little birch.
I like a Japanese maple.
Japanese maple.
Japanese maple, sure, sure.
Sycamore.
Sycamore?
Yeah, okay.
What's the strongest oak?
No.
There's no way of knowing. Sequo No. There's no way of knowing.
Sequoia.
There's no way of knowing?
That's the tallest, right?
Don't ask questions that we don't have answers to.
We don't have the technology.
Kyle, are you a tree guy?
Yeah, the Madagascar Baobab.
I've said it like 10 times.
Okay.
What about you, Will?
Just favorite tree?
Yeah.
I guess a redwood.
Oh.
Jesus Christ. Are sequoias strong? That's a basic bitch answer. I think they're just big. I guess a redwood. Oh. Jesus Christ.
Are sequoias strong?
That's a basic bitch answer.
I think they're just big.
They're just big.
I don't know a lot of trees.
You guys use the common.
They're strong.
They're mighty.
Yeah.
I like a good fall tree.
The second question's better.
TJ, look up what the strongest tree is.
How is tree climbing out here in Chicagoland area?
What?
What?
Do you want to go do some tree climbing, Che?
Also, have you ever ziplined is on there?
What's going on, Che?
In a tree-ass mood.
You want to just do a zipline?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a zipline.
Wait, Kyle, weren't you a tree climber before?
Yeah, it was like a specific urge that I get every so often.
But no, I don't.
Okay.
What is this, TJ?
Strongest tree? Six hardest
trees in the world.
That looks like a soft
tree. I feel like I could take that on that tree.
It does look like a soft tree. That does not look like a hard
tree. Did you ever see the guy on TikTok with
the axe who cuts those? The super
hot sexual guy. Oh my god.
That guy's great. What's his name?
His name is like Thor or some stupid.
No, he's the worst.
He's the worst.
Can we watch it?
He literally fucks the tree and makes it squirt.
All right, I want to see it.
He'll moan.
He knows what he's doing.
Yeah, he's good.
He's good at what he does.
I'd like to see this tree fucker.
He's powerful.
And he's super hot?
Oh, yeah.
One of the hottest.
Really?
Huh.
It's not like a taste thing either.
It's like you know you know you're like
oh this guy's everybody knows he's hot oh yeah yeah it's universally a hot guy did you ever find
that log thief no i got beat it was a scam yeah sometimes you get beat is that why you gotta take
out a loan no not for that no no but uh i I did get a good company to come deliver it, stack it.
Cherry Wood?
Cherry Wood, yeah.
I love Cherry Wood.
The thing that gets me about the Cherry Wood is the smell, but that crackle.
That pop.
That crackle.
Yeah.
You cook with it?
No, you can though.
You can, yeah.
Oh, this guy's very hot.
Oh my god, yeah.
It's un...
Yeah, he's hot.
And now I can't unsee that so let me slither in
slither in come on that's old what what he's oh yeah they do purposely sexual acts
whoa purposely sexual acts. Whoa. Whoa.
You know, chicks are like,
that's a man.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
The comments are always like,
how do I become a tree?
He just stands in his backyard chopping trees.
He's done some really big ones, too.
Big trees?
Like big logs, yeah.
Oh, the glasses, too.
How many of these have you watched, Jerry?
A lot.
Like, that's crazy.
Like, two shots on that is wild.
It's still kind of here in the spring.
Yeah.
I think that would take me all day.
It's kind of like bouncing off of it.
I don't like this guy.
This is a seasoned piece of wood.
I don't like this guy.
Fuck this guy.
I know it being dry makes it sound like it's going to be easier.
Not a fan.
Not in this specific case.
You could take him down.
And this is the last piece I'm willing to challenge this thing with.
You think so?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
What is he trying to educate us on?
Like trees or axes?
Nothing.
It's all a facade.
Just be hot.
We're just looking at him, right?
Right.
No.
And just chicks just love that shit.
I feel like he's good at it.
We really wouldn't know, though, would we?
I guess I don't know, yeah.
What's the measuring stick?
Time watched.
You didn't mean to do that.
No.
You know I never mean to do jokes.
He just fell into his lap.
Willie's got it going.
Are you going to any other college football games,
or are you done for the year?
LSU, Florida.
When's that?
Next week.
Yeah, November 11th.
Oh.
It was going to be a night game, which is going to be sick,
but I think they've switched it up.
Have you been to LSU?
A long time ago, 10 years old.
10 years old?
Yeah, baseball camp.
Whoa.
LSU apparently is known as a good baseball college.
They are the best.
Oh, yeah, they won the national title.
Got to learn the difference between seeing a two-seam and a four-seam.
What's the difference?
You know, two seams.
Two more seams.
That's the details you don't understand.
Yeah, that's the game within the game.
Seam heads over here.
Yeah.
You know, we get that shit.
Yeah.
We understand that shit.
What sports did you play growing up?
All of them.
Except for, I didn't play football in school.
You don't see me, strike me as a soccer guy.
Okay.
Do they play soccer in the South?
I think I just, I just just added the Mississippi in myself.
When I said all of them, I meant baseball, basketball, football.
Yeah, I was going to say soccer.
Those are the three sports.
Soccer doesn't feel like the sport.
You just said that you didn't play football.
I didn't play football in school.
I played flag football up until, and then I played a little junior football, but once
we got to eighth grade, I didn't play.
What would happen if-
So when it got physical, you stopped playing?
Yeah, that's not football.
Oh, that's what I said.
You said you played all of them. You said all I said. You said you played all of them.
You said you played all of them, and you didn't even play the one.
I feel like saying I played all of them until I didn't play football in school
covered exactly what I just said.
You guys didn't have tackle football until eighth grade?
We played flag football in sixth grade.
Seventh grade, we moved to tackle football.
Wait, that's some of the softest shit I've ever heard.
Will Compton, you would have gotten your fucking ass kicked every day at West Point High School.
Every fucking day.
You would not have – you wouldn't be –
You wouldn't last at West Point High School.
Hold on.
Time out.
Time out.
Now, yes.
15-year-old you would have got your ass kicked.
What are you talking about, dude?
He was probably great in high school.
He got recruited.
He was.
He went to Whistledick, Missouri, wherever you are.
Maybe I was a big fish in a small pond. You got a point. Maybe I wasn't a big great. Barely. He got recruited. He wasn't. He went to Whistledick, Missouri, wherever you are. Maybe I was a big fish in a small pond.
You got a point.
Maybe I wasn't a big great.
Barely.
He played in Nebraska.
What would happen if they tried to bring soccer to the South?
It's there.
It is?
It's there, yeah.
It's there.
It sounds like you would have been like, fuck this.
No, I never would have been a soccer guy.
Fuck this.
I never would have been a soccer guy.
Waste of grass.
I do think the one sport I missed out on was, I think
if I could have learned to skate early and I lived
up here, I could have at least tried
hockey. I think I might have enjoyed it.
I mean, you missed out on football.
You're like a football guy. What about
hockey speaks to you? What about hockey
makes you say that? You're not an early morning guy.
What? They don't play
at 6 a.m. Yeah, they do. And I am an
early morning guy. I get here at 7 o'clock every day
But they do play that early
That's when they get rink time
That's like the whole thing with hockey parents
This seems specific to what you're growing up to
No no no
Ask anyone, hockey parents
Because the rink time
Every hockey parent bemoans the fact that they have to get up at 4 in the morning
Because it's not like
It's not like playing
Baseball You can just go out and play and bemoans the fact that they have to get up at like 4 in the morning. Okay. Because it's not like playing baseball or –
You can just go out and play.
Yeah, right.
You have to have rink time and stuff.
I'm pretty sure that's a big thing that hockey parents have to get up super fucking early.
So what is it about hockey then?
I don't know.
Carotery?
I just always – I thought – like watching it as an adult, I love watching it,
and I wish I hadn't had that experience as a kid.
In this fantasy of yours, what position are you playing?
See, y'all keep making it a joke.
I feel like I'm being very funny.
I'm just laughing at the question.
I don't know.
I love watching hockey as an adult.
I wasn't exposed to it as a kid.
I'm curious.
But you said it was a fantasy.
It's not a fantasy.
What do you mean?
How is it not a fantasy?
Is it real life? I'm being very cut and dry. This is the literal definition was a fantasy. It's not a fantasy. What do you mean? How is it not a fantasy? Is it real life?
I'm being very cut and dry.
This is the literal definition of a fantasy.
I'm being very cut and dry that I wish I had had hockey as a youth
because I think I would have enjoyed it.
Which is the definition of a fantasy.
In this fantasy world, what position would you have played?
Why is this a fantasy?
You just said it was.
You just said you wish you could play hockey.
That by definition is a fantasy.
And Mark is saying, if you can go into that fantasy that you're talking about.
That's the way he said it was.
Hey, Brandon, enter the fantasy mentally and give us some answers.
I think you're a defender.
I would have been a defender or maybe even a goalie.
Too tall for a goalie.
They're too tall?
They're not tall?
I think you're too tall.
Hockey forwards and the defensemen are like 6'4", 6'5"?
Yeah, like there's some big-ass defenders.
The goalies are not 6'5"?
Well, there are big-ass guys everywhere, but I think goalies –
I might be way wrong, but I feel like that's too much.
Okay, I don't know.
I don't know.
So how tall are goalies?
6'5".
I feel like that's a pretty tall goalie.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay. That feels like it's too tall.
Hockey, I will say, it feels like the coolest camaraderie.
Yeah.
The locker room hockey guys are the funniest.
By far.
They're the coolest.
A lot of thumbs up.
Whitney and Biz, they're just fun guys to be around.
Yeah, and all of them play.
You get to play.
Right.
If you're a backup, you're still going in just as much.
Yeah, you still have a line shift. Yeah. That's a good point. I didn't think of play. Right. Yeah. If you're a backup, you're still going in just as much. Yeah, you still have a line shift.
Yeah.
That's a good point.
I didn't think of that.
Wow.
This is going to be really distracting just watching people play sports in front of us.
Yeah, poorly.
Are they doing the video now?
I don't know.
Nicky Smokes just laying down.
Nicky Smokes almost went down.
Wow.
The injuries are going to happen fast and furious here.
Yeah. I was thinking about that up top, too. The snaps almost went down. Wow. The injuries are going to happen fast and furious here.
Yeah.
I was thinking about that up top, too.
I was like, man, just for the day, somebody goes head first into one of those.
We should make it that you have to play shirts and skins if you play basketball.
They're about to split into teams and do a competition.
They are making the video.
They're doing a volleyball. They're making the video. They're doing a volleyball.
They're making the video.
It sucks that we – oh, Jake's got his shirt off. I'd like to.
He went all the way in the corner to take his shirt off.
He went all the way in the corner to take his shirt off.
Oh, man.
Oh, he's behind the pole now.
Oh, no.
Oh, he is.
The chaps are showing us his titties.
I can't wait until we can show everyone what's going on on the court next week.
Making smoke shirt off. We can start showing everyone what's on the court. I feel bad. I can't wait until we can show everyone what's going on on the court next week. Making smoke shirt off.
We can start showing everyone what's on the court.
I feel bad.
I'm sorry, Yak listeners.
This is probably the most annoying thing possible.
We're just talking about things only we can see.
Yeah.
They're probably getting edged.
That's a pretty shitty show.
Just be like, oh man, I wish you guys could see this.
Chef Donnie's confident.
I think she might have played volleyball.
Yeah, Chef Donnie took his shirt off.
And she turned around and looked around.
Taking his time, putting his shirt back on.
Oh, Chef Donnie's a good-looking guy.
Good-looking guy.
He's got it going on.
He's got it going on big time.
I think that ball has too much air in it.
You good at volleyball?
I was before I got fat and old.
You're not that old.
How old are you, Brandon?
44.
That's not old.
Yeah.
Does anybody...
Raise your hand if you're older than me in here.
Can't do it.
Yeah, my kid.
You don't stop playing.
What's the quote, BC?
You don't...
What?
You don't stop playing because you get old. You get old because you stop playing. What's the quote, BC? You don't what? You don't stop playing because you get old.
You get old because you stop playing.
Oh, I like that.
That's the facts.
Yeah.
You got to get out there.
I won't go out there now.
You got to be part of the crew.
You got to run around, jog around, feel good.
I don't know if that shirt's going to get all the way around Big L.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. He's just wearing it.
Oh, no.
He's wearing it as a neckerchief.
This is terrible radio.
I'm sorry, everyone.
But I think they understand.
I think you can describe what's going on.
Yeah, Big Ev has a shirt on his head.
He put his head through the head hole.
You can tell we're looking at him, too.
Can't quite get the arms.
Ev, have Ev walk in here real quick.
Big Ev.
I just want people to be able to see this.
Let's get people.
Big Ev? Just walk
in here real quick
so everyone can see what we're talking about.
So everyone put on these colored shirts
and Big Ev put on his shirt
and...
Shirts of color.
Shirts of color. Shirts of color.
Colored shirts?
That's, yeah.
Big Ev, what's going on with this shirt?
About as far as it could get.
I mean, I don't want to.
What's going on with this shirt, brother?
I don't want to stretch it out for everyone.
Are we reusing the shirts?
Yeah, I mean, you're going to need a shirt.
I'm asking something else.
I mean, you can see what color I'm wearing.
I'm repping the right team.
What's the right team?
Orange.
Okay.
What are you guys doing?
I think we're playing volleyball.
Like for content?
Yes.
Did you need to put the shirts on, though?
I think volleyball is pretty clear which team is which.
That's a great point.
Trust me, that crossed my mind for sure it's not like
basketball you're kind of like intermingling right yeah it's very obvious very divided on
which team i'm not a big guys questions guy i'm just a team player my team put the shirts on i
threw it i threw it on yeah your team's out there yeah well big f can you do me a favor when you go
back out there can you close the blind so that we stop just narrating what we see and no
one else can see yeah very bad job we're distracted and this is i mean this was bound to happen the
first time we have people out on the court but yeah if you could close those blinds that'd be
huge i got you thank you appreciate it that way we can just focus on ourselves yeah and the boys
in here let's yak yak. Let's yak.
But that shirt was ridiculous.
We all agree.
Yeah, no, that was a tough look.
Yeah.
That was not a great look.
Willie, how's trash day going these days?
I missed yesterday.
You missed it?
How do you miss trash day?
I don't get it. It's the best day.
How are you still fucking this up?
Well, I was on a roll until last week, and my wife surprised me, and she did it.
So then it kind of just gets lost in the brain, and then I just forgot yesterday, so she did it.
Wait, so it's, but it is your responsibility?
Yeah.
And you had to bring it to the curb, right?
Yeah.
That's tough.
And then yesterday, I drove in the driveway, And she came out with Rue And then
She purposely went out
To grab it
And say look
Who's bringing the trash can
Oh
I was like
Who got it out there
Now does the trash day
Happen every
The same week
Same day every week
Yeah
Every Wednesday morning
And it slips you
Yeah
Damn
Every now and then
That's tough
Just sneaks up on you
Yeah
Sometimes
Why don't you do it
The night before
I think about it
But then I like Yeah I want to get as close As I can I want to be in the trenches sneaks up on you yeah sometimes why don't you do it the night before i think about it but then i
like yeah i want to get as close as i can i want to be in the trenches you want to you want to beat
him out there yeah yeah there's been a couple times i knew what's happening i was like i got
to get this trash on my way out and the trash guy comes right before i get out there
that's crazy Damn Yeah
You gotta
I mean
It's elusive
The trash day's elusive
Trash day's elusive
We got
It's alleys
So just put the trash
The cans stay there
And they come pick it up
In the alley
Yeah
I think about doing it
On Tuesday nights
But I just feel like
Then I'm just
I'm kind of cheating
But I don't think so
No I think
I think that's actually
Don't you think
All your neighbors do that
Yeah I wouldn't say so no i think i think that's actually don't you think all your neighbors do that yeah i would say so but yeah again cheating you want to win the right way i
want wednesday morning to be game day i don't want to okay if i'm going to bed on tuesday and
the trash is out it's going to be a boring tuesday night what what time do they come probably around
seven in the morning 7 30 you have to put that out Tuesday night.
No, I'm usually up.
I like this game day.
It's just like you wake up.
Have you – game days you've woken up like past when the trash got picked up?
And you're like game day. No.
If anything, I wake up at like 4, 4.20 and be like, okay, it's not time yet.
I got another hour of sleep.
What's up?
Then that will slip your mind later?
Yeah. It's like if I have a good workout
And I come home
I'm like ready to just
I don't know
Take down the protein shake
What is the
What's the best case scenario?
Is that you're bringing it out
As the trash guy is like
One or two houses away
That would be incredible
That's like
That's a dream scenario
That's a dream scenario
Cause then you can bring
The cans right back in
Yeah
Yeah, well
No
I just want to
get it out and then make sure the guy who like jumps back on the thing i just give a nice little
wave like hey i did it yeah here we go what happens when you miss it you just does it pile up
bad no no not really okay so it's not life or death no no no we can usually get away with two
weeks okay yeah hold on now i love this game day you have a baby yeah babies mean
diapers lots of yeah diapers mean trash correct and you're able to go two weeks yeah i'd say
every other we could do every other week with the trash yes have you ever gone three weeks that's
crazy ah i don't think maybe one time but that's when you're like you know the the lids like
sitting up and you're like i'm gonna need some help pushing this out you know when that thing gets
heavy dude ours comes twice a week and I'm pretty sure ours is full to the brim every single time
yeah it's crazy how much my my my trash bins are always overflowing just so much trash gets
so much created in my house we have a a house getting built up right next to us.
And you know how the contractors, they have that massive dumpster?
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I used it for all my boxes that were piling up in the garage.
Dude comes, knocks on the door the next day talking about, don't use it.
Are you serious?
Yes, bro.
That's fucked up.
A dumpster.
I got one on my street right now.
It's the poop bag every single day. Fair game. Dumpsters are always fair. That's fucked up. A dumpster. I got one on my street right now. It's the poop bag every single day.
Fair game.
Dumpsters are always fair.
That's a community dumpster.
How do you police a dumpster?
I don't know.
He checked the boxes, and so he checked the address.
The name?
And he just saw, like, he went over, and then my wife texted, like, hey, the contractor next door, I didn't know you used the dumpster for all the boxes.
He just chewed me out.
You know what you got to do?
Chewed your wife out?
I mean, she was probably spicing it up.
You know what you got to do, Willie?
When I moved, I had so many boxes, like all this delivery stuff.
So I would rip off the top of it with the address, put that in mine,
and then load up the neighbors with the boxes.
Perfect crime.
I like that.
The perfect crime.
Do you live?
They probably totally
knew i was doing that because we had just moved in and all their trash bins were full but they
can't prove it i don't know where my wife is like oh no but she didn't know i used the dumpster
she's like no we didn't we didn't use that he's like this isn't you you're no
your wife got caught up in that yeah do. Do you live in a sleepy neighborhood, Will, like everybody's bored?
All the other residents are bored as shit?
Not really.
We got great neighbors across the street.
Young couple.
They got kids around Rue's age.
They're awesome.
But I guess this contract just got something up his ass
about using the dumpster.
Are you nervous about who's going to move in?
Yeah, we talk about it.
That's a big move. That's a big move. Oh, yeah, we talk about it. That's, I mean, that's a big move.
That's a big move.
Oh, yeah.
We talk about it.
Any country stars in your neighborhood?
No, we haven't made it that far up yet.
Because Taylor lives, like, in the sticks, right?
Taylor?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Because I saw him tweeting that he needed a place for Halloween.
I was like, what?
Yeah, maybe he was just getting, trying to, you know,
get some engagement going on.
Oh, got it.
Got it.
I mean, he's in a spot
where they just, you know,
pick a road.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Just trying to get some engagement.
Yeah, yeah.
Just trying to get
Because I thought,
even when I saw that,
I'm thinking,
listen, we're going
to Trick or Treat too.
You need a street,
you need a recommendation.
Yeah, come over here.
Yeah.
Yeah, that neighbor's going to be a big, what if they're assholes we'll be out of there
you guys win first day because we're hoping it goes high dollar i mean in this economy right
now the the housing market we're hoping that thing goes Yeah Nashville especially
Yeah
That's so funny
So if they suck
It's more of like
You know
Maybe hopefully I can find ways
To make their life
Difficult in the beginning
But
You can do a lot
Yeah
Neighbor wars
Oh man I never want to be in that
That's
It seems kind of fun though
You think so?
I don't know
Doesn't it?
It's just some neighbor wars like i'm
always trying to outdo my neighbors yeah yeah i think that'd be put the garage up show them that
you're working stuff like that you know what i mean stuff like that a little bit brandy you get
in neighbor wars ever no no in fact here uh we've got such great neighbors it's the first great
neighbor situation i've ever really had in my life
where just perfect neighbors, and it's been great.
Yeah, your neighbor's got all the cool shit, right?
Yeah.
In fact, I'm not going to show it to the yak or anything,
but I took a picture of the basketball goal that I was telling you guys about
that I'm very jealous about.
He's got everything cool, and he's got a pool.
I got a lake.
It works out perfect.
You're not jealous. No, no. He's got a pool. He's got a a pool i got a lake it works out perfect you're not you're not jealous
no no he's got a pool he gets a good pool i got a lake he wants to come fishing he can come get
my boat i can go to his pool wait is he across the street so he doesn't have the lake doesn't
have the lake oh okay that actually plays that's perfect yeah you do have a lake good neighbors
are on it's an underrated good neighbors is very it's very underrated. Good neighbors is very underrated. It's very underrated. It's a life changer, really. Yeah. Yeah.
Bad neighbors fucking suck.
When I was first moving out, or when I was first young family,
I had like a three-year-old girl and one-year-old boy,
and we moved to Destin, Florida, and our neighbor was an asshole that had fenced his whole property
and would like look at your fence line,
and he had a pit bull that he didn't keep on a leash.
Like, that was a bad neighbor situation.
Damn.
Yeah. It was bad. But I didn't he didn't keep on a leash. Like, that was a bad neighbor situation. Damn. Yeah, it was bad.
But I didn't stay there long, like a year.
I got one old lady that gave me a little bit of shit
when I bought the house,
but she was like a block and a half away.
What'd she say?
Well, the house that I bought was covered.
I think the lady was like a botanist,
so it was covered with all rose bushes.
The backyard was all covered with plants
in the front of the house.
So I ripped up the whole yard. I just did all rose bushes. The backyard was all covered with plants in the front of the house. So I ripped up the whole yard.
I just did all grass everywhere
in the front yard.
American way.
And then my landscapers were there.
I was outside.
And this lady comes around the corner.
She's like, you know,
it's a real shame what you did to those bushes.
Oh.
I was like, what do you mean?
And she was like, you know,
Janie loved those bushes, those rose bushes. This house was so nice with all the plants and stuff. I was like, well, Janie? She was like, you know, Janie loved those bushes, those rose bushes.
This house was so nice with all the plants and stuff.
I was like, well, Janie ain't here no more.
Yeah.
Listen, lady.
We got grass and more grass.
Your house was a dentist and a botanist.
Yeah, she was a plant freak, man.
Freak.
And you just got rid of all of them.
Every single one.
I didn't leave one bush.
It didn't look nice. Yeah, but the problem is. You got a of all of them. Every single one. I didn't leave one bush. They didn't look nice?
Yeah, but the problem is you know how much money that is?
I don't blame you.
She showed me the bill.
They were such nice homeowners.
They invited me over.
They took me out to dinner.
They ran through all their bills with me, and I got to the landscaping one,
and it was like $1,400 and I'm like oh okay that's cool
that's probably like for the season or whatever you know what I mean she goes oh no that's that's
that's the monthly bill like the monthly bill 14 I was like no I was like right away that's gone
all those plants bushes done and they have a pond too so it so it's... Yeah, yeah, I saw the pond. Koi pond? I think I'm going to get rid of it, though.
Oh, make a little koi pond.
I want to make a small sitting pool where that is.
That's a pond.
Like a sitting pool?
Like, is it a jacuzzi?
Do you sit in the pool, or do you sit by the pool?
They're very popular in Arizona.
They're like, wait, but this is in Arizona.
True. What I'm thinking of
is like a six
foot by eight foot pool.
That's a jacuzzi.
No, but it's not going to be hot.
It's going to be
old. That's a broken jacuzzi.
You have a jacuzzi that doesn't work.
I guess so. Why don't you just make it a jacuzzi?
When you say sitting,
you're sitting around it or you get in it? Yes.
So what I've witnessed in Arizona, it's an in-ground pool,
but there's built-in, like, seats around the whole thing.
That's a jacuzzi.
Platforms you can sit on.
Yeah.
That's a jacuzzi.
But it's a rectangle, though.
Everything is a jacuzzi.
There we go.
Everything you're describing, jacuzzis are circle.
No, they could be anything.
They could be any shape.
TJ, can you pull up a jacuzzi?
A sitting pool.
A sitting pool.
So in Arizona, it gets like 120 degrees.
So that's probably.
Yeah, they're just these smaller pools.
Right, but I feel like you would rather have a jacuzzi.
Okay, exactly.
That's a jacuzzi.
That's a jacuzzi.
Oh, yeah.
Those are jacuzzis. That's exactly it. That's a jacuzzi, Jerry. That's a jacuzzi okay exactly exactly oh yeah those are jacuzzi that's exactly it those
right that's a jacuzzi jerry that's a jacuzzi that all right well but okay maybe that's not
a jacuzzi but it should be a jacuzzi that's the exact one kind of no no no no that that right
there right there but a little bit smaller that's a pool pool. That's a pool. You said six by eight. That's long.
Jerry, I think you want a jacuzzi, though, because then you can get in the cold water.
No, but what I want to do is I want to have that, right?
The sitting pool.
Okay.
And then in the backyard, it looks like a massive wheelbarrow.
But what it is, it's a sauna.
It's an outdoor sauna.
Oh, those are sick.
Oh, my God.
They're so cool.
So you go in there, you get really hot, and then you freaking jump into the ceiling pole.
That is good.
A wheelbarrow that looks like a sauna?
I know what he's talking about.
They're amazing.
You have one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have one.
They look like a wheelbarrow?
You're talking about the barrel?
They look like a wheelbarrow?
Yeah.
Barrel.
How much?
A barrel or a wheelbarrow?
Six.
You know what a wheelbarrow looks like? A wheelbarrow is okay. 65. Barrel. Do you know what a wheelbarrow? Yeah. Barrel. How much? A barrel or a wheelbarrow? Six. Yeah. Do you know what a wheelbarrow looks like?
A wheelbarrow is okay.
65.
Barrel.
Do you know what a wheelbarrow looks like?
Cedar.
A cedar, too.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Yes, I know.
Yes.
A wheelbarrow?
You're saying the song looks like a wheelbarrow.
No, like.
It's a barrel song.
It's a barrel.
Like a barrel.
Barrel.
Okay.
There it is.
That makes sense.
Exactly, yeah.
You said wheelbarrow.
You did say wheelbarrow.
That's what was confusing.
Oh, sorry. A barrel. That went on the right, Jerry. How do you keep. Far right. It's yours. That's what I Exactly, yeah. You said wheelbarrow. That's what was confusing. Oh, sorry.
That went on the right, Jerry.
How do you keep...
Far right.
That's what I want, Will.
Will, how is yours...
Is it fire or is it electric?
No, it's electric.
Is that the one you got?
Yeah, that's the one right there.
Oh, my God.
That's great.
I might pick up one of those.
That actually is so sick.
I kind of want one of those, too.
Somebody came in.
Yeah, that's badass. You might be able to bet it. I'm not. That actually is so sick. I kind of want one of those too. Somebody came here. Yeah, that's badass.
You might be able to build it.
I'm not.
That's not, you know.
Gotcha.
I go into Ace Hardware and they're like,
what do you need help with today, Will?
I'm like, I need to get a broom.
Like, hey, I need to get these screws right.
Do you know what size?
I'm like, I don't, but if I could see it,
I might be able to.
There's nothing more emasculating
than walking into a Home Depot
and they're like, can we help you?
And I'm like, nah.
And then I go back to them like, yeah. It's easier just to be like i just walk in on my hey i need
somebody today yeah they're they know like that's actually probably a great job to be a home depot
person just because you just get to spend all day just knowing shit well the problem is like
flexing let's see if this guy's a man who walks in. They don't really know as much as you think they know.
You don't think so?
No.
I think they know a lot.
Not as much as you think.
I trust every, I'm like, show me a drill, like a good drill.
And you know, what is it, Dewalt?
It's good.
It's actually, now that I'm thinking about it,
Home Depot might be the dream job.
Just being like, because there's no better feeling
than having someone ask for help and being able to help them.
Yeah, but if you've got to stock the shelves,
I did that in high school.
It is brutal.
Yeah, stocking the shelves.
What if you have just worked there three weeks
and you don't know?
Yeah, that would suck.
Not knowing would suck.
I feel like every Home Depot has one guy that knows everything.
Yeah, but I bet there's a Home Depot.
He's always by the wood.
Yeah.
There's a Home Depot employee.
He is.
He's always in the back by the wood.
There's a Home Depot employee.
He doesn't even work there.
Pencil in his ear. Yeah, right. He's like, oh, you want me to cut's a Home Depot employee. He doesn't even work there. Pencil in his ear.
Yeah, right.
He's like, oh, you want me to cut this for you?
Okay, no problem.
How long you want it?
Yeah.
Those guys are the best.
Imagine being a Home Depot employee that has to ask a customer where something is.
Oh.
Or has to ask them what to do.
They wouldn't do that.
They would never do that.
I bet it's happened.
In the bylaws of Home Depot.
I bet it's happened.
You got to sepuku yourself.
Shout out to Lowe's, too.
Yeah. You guys ever use TaskRabbit?
Yeah.
Oh, Menards is a monster.
That's what I did for the sauna, too.
I got two of those guys.
It took them six hours between both of them to build that thing.
Reasonable price?
Yeah, yeah.
TaskRabbit?
I mean, you're thinking what?
I'm such a bitch.
I use TaskRabbit to build my son's crib.
Oh, brother.
That's exactly what they're for.
It's also very emasculating. And then I made him make me a chair, too. Yeah, dude. When we got the crib, we bought's crib. Oh, brother. That's exactly what they're for. Yeah, but it's also very emasculating.
And then I made him make me a chair, too.
Yeah, dude.
When we got the crib, we bought the crib.
My wife's like, hey, do you want to build the crib?
You know, dad building the crib.
I was like, hey, sweetheart.
Like, I don't want to.
No.
Delegate to elevate.
$25 an hour.
He can come in and build the crib.
I'm a double.
I don't want to.
And I don't know how to.
You probably would, but it just takes so long
it was gonna read the directions yeah i would have did it for you yeah and i wouldn't charge
you either no but it did feel because like the guy came to my house and i like was taking a
nap on the couch he was just building my son's crib i was like damn i'm a pussy
dan and all you can do is just you want to water anything yeah just get you some water thanks so
much man and then he finished
I was like
Can you put together this chair
Took him like two seconds
It was like one piece
What do you think
They're thinking too
They're building
Just seeing us
Watching some Netflix documentary
Yeah right
In the other room
Yeah just sitting there
Yeah I just had a
6'8 Russian guy
And I had to
Meet him in the lobby
And I'd be like
Are you the task rabbit
Yeah right
Yeah
Yes he finished my paintings, hanging my shit.
Yeah, hey, he is.
In 20 seconds, saw my black cat, said, what's his name?
I had to say, it's a girl.
He was like, no.
No, it ain't.
Oh, yeah, it sucks.
The TVs, I had them hang, too.
I watched this guy put together a unicycle.
TaskRabbit's useful.
No, it's very good.
But yeah, I'm pathetic when it comes to that stuff.
That's okay.
Like, even like the doorknob came out of my bathroom the other day.
I locked myself in the bathroom.
I literally tried to open it.
It just was in my hand.
I had to fucking call my wife and be like, I'm locked in my bathroom.
That's pathetic.
Pathetic.
Yeah, you just got to lean into your strengths.
It is, though.
It does kind of suck knowing the dudes who are handymen and they're good at building shit.
It's like, man, I really kind of let my father wipe down.
And you know the worst part about it is it's generational now.
Yeah.
I ain't going to teach them anything.
They can podcast.
I'll teach them how to podcast.
I'd like to see a home team. He'll learn how to change a tire on YouTube.
I do know how to change a tire.
That's the one thing.
I have done that multiple times.
I know how to change a tire.
Because that's also like an emergency thing.
Yeah.
Like you got to be able to get that in an emergency. I feel like that's the one thing everyone's got to know how to do. Yeah. Yeah. Like you got to be able to get that in an emergency.
I feel like that's the one thing everyone's got to know how to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'd take me a minute.
It's still scary when you do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to say, it'd take me a minute.
I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm dialed in on changing a tire, but.
No, but you could get it done.
Yeah.
I'd get it done.
Yeah.
And AAA.
AAA.
No problem.
Call it up.
No problem.
No problem. No problem. I told you. I have nothing. I don't know anything about cars. AAA. No problem. Call it out. No problem.
No problem. I have nothing.
I don't know anything about cars.
Yeah, I wish.
Would you rather be like a master woodworker or really good at cars?
Woodworker.
Woodworker.
Crazy.
Because you can build stuff like in your house.
Cars are way more practical.
You can build like the Pinterest looking stuff.
100%.
Cars are way more practical.
What would you do with that aside from a profession like with your cars like anytime you have a car anytime the check engine
light comes on you can just handle yourself and also like oh yeah the idea of being a car guy
flex it to other people oh you're thinking of like the ego the ego yeah i'm talking i'm thinking
of just like the day-to-day day-to-day i have more thoughts of like i wish i knew what the
fuck's going on my car than like i wish i could right build a boat with my yeah with my hands your car breaking down no I just I
use a car so yeah it could I don't know yeah could break down we need to change oil you gotta
get some new parts get some new tires yeah but if you're like if you're like a handyman it's like
you go over your you know your friend's house and they got like a loose chair. You're like, oh, let me fix that.
Yeah, right.
You just fix it for them.
Yeah.
You want me to put a shelf up for you?
Yeah.
Yeah, something like that.
Well, that's not really woodworking.
They're always putting a shelf up?
That's just like turning a screw a couple times.
Yeah, I don't think that's woodworking.
No, you put a shelf up.
You still have some shelving?
You're going to have to fucking go there.
It's putting up a shelf, woodworking.
Why?
Why are you making a move?
He keeps kicking my mic into my face.
Every time, I'm just taking a shot.
Why is your mic always leaning?
Because it won't...
Otherwise, I'd have to sit up like this.
Adjust the mic.
You can just adjust the mic.
You can truly adjust it.
It's only like this.
Look how...
It's weird.
Mine's the only one that won't adjust.
I aspire to be a car guy, though.
Imagine if you could just get an old car and be like, yeah, I'm working on this.
Yeah.
See, that's American muscle. Yeah, this is my summer car. I drive like I like an old car and be like yeah i'm working on this yeah yeah yeah like oh this muscle yeah this is my summer car i drive like i got an old tool man taylor building
a hot rod in his garage yeah nine seasons of television a chopper yeah that'd be awesome
fucking chopper that's true because when guys talk cars oh and you hear the conversation you're
like man i wish i knew what they were talking about yeah just sit in the front of yeah guys
are talking woodworking you're not like you don't feel emasculated you're
not like i'm such a loser that i can't join this conversation but when guys are talking about
fixing their cars you're like arms crossed just looking at some old mustang yeah what you got
under that hatchback but then it also would suck to have to like fix everyone's car that is true
everybody would just bring everyone because there's a lot of idiots out there and they But then it also would suck to have to fix everyone's car. That is true.
Everybody would just bring... Because there's a lot of idiots out there,
and they probably bring cars and all kinds of...
The one thing I wish I knew enough about cars
is that when I went to the mechanic
and they tried to fuck me,
I'd be like,
actually, you're wrong.
Yeah.
That would be great.
Yeah.
Flex on them being like,
I know you're fucking me right now.
Yeah.
Because mechanics can just do whatever they want.
Whatever.
They can just say whatever the fuck they want, and I'll pay whatever.
Yeah.
Every time.
It's a great way to just make extra bucks.
Like, oh, yeah, this is broken, too.
Jiffy Lube guys are the worst because they think they're mechanics, and they're not.
They kind of are.
No.
No.
No.
They're not.
They lie.
They're the dudes who change oil.
Yeah.
Yeah, they ain't.
They ain't mechanics. They ain't. They lie. They're the dudes who change oil. Yeah. Yeah, they ain't. They ain't mechanics.
They ain't.
Some of them are probably mechanic adjacent.
I've gone to an oil changing place before and had a rattle,
and the guy was like, I've seen this before.
This is that.
Was this at Jiffy Lube?
It was at a Jiffy Lube type place.
I'm talking specific Jiffy Lube.
Specific Jiffy Lube.
Okay.
I wouldn't know. Like, if you tell me you went to shop in high school, I think you can doiffy Lube. Specific Jiffy Lube. Okay. I wouldn't know.
Like, if you tell me you went to shop in high school,
I think you can do probably anything.
Yeah.
Hey, Jerry, you going to go back to Rico the Barber or no?
For people who missed it, Jerry went to Rico the Barber on the south side.
Oh, yeah.
He's now clicked up.
So it's a fine line.
You know what I mean?
It's a far travel.
It's a good haircut.
But.
He might be in a gang.
He might be affiliated.
He may not.
Probably not.
But I found another guy.
JT.
Fades.
He's pretty good.
Is he also clicked up?
Is that JT's cut right there?
He is Puerto Rican.
Okay.
That doesn't mean anything.
Well, Latin. Okay. I don't know if he's part of anything. J JT's cut right there? He is Puerto Rican. Okay. That doesn't mean anything. Well, Latin.
Okay. I don't know if he's part of anything.
JT cut. Is there a JT? Yeah, there's JT's.
Turn to the side. You barely moved
your hip phone. That's a nice
JT. Wait, so Rico,
does Rico know that you went to JT?
I don't think so.
That's why I don't really feel comfortable
talking about it over the air.
What's Rico charge?
50?
I thought you didn't charge anything.
No, but that's what a haircut is.
This guy is 60.
Good.
These barbers out there tax.
I just go to sports.
The ones in the city here are the worst.
It's a great spot.
Rico gave you a free haircut the first time?
Free, yes.
Why?
It's fair motion. Yeah. You know, a free haircut the first time? Free, yes. Why? It's for emotion.
Something light for the kings.
Haircuts have
gone ridiculous now.
I just got a sport clips. How much they charge?
It's like with the beard trim,
it's like maybe $35.
And they do the shampoo. That's with
the beard trim. Yeah, that's good.
Because that $50 fade is not coming with that lineup.
Yeah, no.
Like, barbers now are at the point where some of them are like 70.
I think Nicky Smokes paid like 65 or 75.
Well, Nicky Smokes needs something special.
What do you mean?
Because of the bitches.
He's got to look good, and he's also under six feet.
Got a lot of bitches.
Yeah.
He's got to keep it tight.
He's got to keep the tight he's got to keep that top top long
enough to i think it's yeah the women their hair gets cost really stupid yeah hundreds hundreds
are you are you just a long hair guy i don't know i i don't know that's a hard decision i don't know
i get anytime it gets brought up i get overwhelmed i don't know i don't know what my strategy is i'm
in too deep i don't know what the fuck to do i know i know the second i go back to being short
hair it's over for me like i'm not you can't be a long hair guy twice you
can't have two long hair phases of your life that's true you have some short hair photos
out there i would love to see yeah i was i was short hair forever until covid and then
uh all the barber shops were obviously closed for a while and i just started growing it out
and then i was like dj you can bring it up dude during covid i loved it i went to the barber shop
in brooklyn they were doing like uh wow that doesn't have a lot of doofus they were sneaking And then I was like, DJ, you can bring it up. Dude, during COVID, I loved it. I went to the barber shop in Brooklyn.
They were doing like.
Wow, that doesn't have a lot of doofus.
They were sneaking me in the back.
It was awesome.
They weren't opening, but they were sneaking people in the back.
Felt like you were committing a crime.
That's good hair.
That's good.
That's good hair.
There's me.
You are.
You're a solid long hair looking.
Oh, no, you're crying.
That's ugly crying.
Yeah.
There's big.
There's a big beard for your face.
That's a good beard.
Yeah, it's a good beard.
Terrific beard.
There's you in a Wisconsin sweatshirt.
How about that?
Mark likes Wisconsin.
There's you.
I'm fat.
Dude, I have a lot of looks, man.
This is all the same person.
That's not you.
That's not you.
This is all the same person.
No, that's not you.
That's not you.
That is. Yeah, I think you're a long hair guy. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, is all the same person. No, that's not you. That's not you. That is.
Yeah, I think you're a long hair guy.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I think so too.
I never had long hair because I played basketball,
and white guys having long hair in basketball is really tough.
Yeah.
You need like a neck tattoo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
PFT.
That's the best picture ever taken of me.
PFT.
That's all street cred right there.
That's great.
PFT sometimes talks about
cutting his hair i'm like i would like i know you can't yeah that's you it's your it's your thing
and then i when i first started growing it out i got another i don't know if compliments was
the right word but people were just like yeah you got for your age you have a thick head of hair
and i was like damn i never thought about it that way so now i'm scared to cut it
i don't know i i will go bald eventually and i'll it that way so now i'm scared to cut it i don't know
i i will go bald eventually and i'll start thinning out so i'm trying to like right are you
gonna go bald are you 36 no you're good man was your was your grandfather on your mother's side
had hair yeah actually he was he died with like black hair yeah jet black uh that's great all
right is anyone here going to go bald?
I can.
Yeah.
Oh, that's going to be awesome.
I think I'm at a way
to watch you go bald.
I feel like you can.
I feel like my corners,
you can kind of see
like kind of the rooted
the trees.
Yeah.
Kind of jungle look.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Starts creeping back.
I'll show you when we get.
Yeah.
What's the what's the strategy?
I don't I don't know.
Like when you start.
I'm honestly.
Can I be honest? I'm terrified. If I went if I went bald, I don't know. Like, when you start... I'm honestly, can I be honest?
I'm terrified.
If I went bald, I don't think I will,
because my mom's father died with a full head of hair.
I would just go the most outrageous toupee possible
and just dare people to say shit.
Just like a skunk on my head.
Like, what?
I like to think I would go the Larry David route,
where you just pretend like it's not even happening yeah you just grow it out however it
is instead of like trying to because i think like as much as like van pelt says you got to come home
and like shave it all off that that can be startling if you're a guy like derrick white
on the celtics like that is as much as people were clowning him to just snap your finger and
suddenly you're just fully bald it is a little shocking well we've
got to like kind of baby we've had this conversation before too like if you go full shaved head as a
white guy there's definitely a fine line where people are like nazi you know like it's a you
definitely kind of have to like toe around it where it's like what is this guy doing like is
he willingly a young guy with a shaved head is always like, okay, what's up?
What's going on here?
What's on the line here?
Easy, man.
Yeah, that's true.
What changed your head?
No, just all that talk, you know?
Gets me excited.
Not that.
Wait, what?
Talking about what?
Yeah.
Local.
What?
What was getting you going? Loco. What? What was getting you going?
Gang talk.
How would you react if I came in and I was like...
You had a teardrop?
I had a teardrop.
And I was just wearing black and yellow.
Which you already do.
True.
But I like the Steelers. But anyway, if I was like, yeah, I'm affiliated now. Which you already do. True. But I like the Steelers.
But anyway, if I was like,
yeah, I'm affiliated now.
Like, for real.
I would have to be fired, right?
No, I don't think so.
As long as you didn't commit a crime.
At work.
But if I'm committing crimes outside of work.
Yeah, then maybe it's, you know,
fine line.
But you don't have to admit
that you're committing.
Yeah, if you admitted
that you were committing crimes outside of work. Yeah, if you're like, what did you do this weekend i killed a couple people yeah i think at that
point i'd probably have to be like jerry we might have to have a talk about your employment status
but yeah being in a gang is just like having a new group of friends really we're kind of in a gang
yeah we're yeah it's It's true? Yeah.
What would the name of the gang be, you think?
The Pussy Boys?
Los Vivas.
Los Vivas.
Los Vivas.
We could definitely tell Fasoli
that we're in a gang now
and be like,
you need to do some things.
Oh, we'd give him
tattooed up quickly.
Yeah, he'd be all about it.
If you handed him a bag
and said,
throw this in the river,
he would.
It'd be in the river in minutes.
In two seconds.
I'm surprised you guys haven't done stuff like that to him yet.
We should.
He might swim in that bag to the bottom of the river.
You got to prank.
You got to do something.
Maybe Nicky smokes.
He got his pranks coming.
Yeah.
He's going to smoke us.
Can you do the high noon ads, KB?
Hey, hey.
From our handyman talk earlier, wife just texted all right i just booked a handyman on thumbtack to install our wall calendar been trying for over
an hour to remove the strip screw you put in the wall a calendar yeah you're hiring a handyman to
put a calendar up well because i fucked up the wall trying to do it and then i got upset i said
sweetheart this is exactly why i don't do this shit.
A calendar?
This right here.
For 25 bucks,
we could have got this done.
What is the calendar?
A calendar?
What is it called?
Acrylic calendar?
One that you put up on the wall.
It's kind of got like the,
not the glass,
but it's kind of like
a pencil.
Not only did she hire somebody
to put up a calendar,
he has to fix what you fucked up.
That's what I'm saying.
That's why we had to hire somebody
because I fucked it up.
How big is this calendar?
I mean, it's probably like, you know. It's a paper calendar? No, not paper. That's what I'm saying. That's why we had to hire somebody because I fucked it up. How big is this calendar? I mean, it's probably like, you know.
It's a paper calendar?
No, not paper.
It's like...
Yeah, it's a wall calendar.
I got it.
Can you bring it up?
It's a dry erase one
that you can have on the wall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Built into the wall.
Somebody got it as a wedding gift.
And you fucked it up so bad?
I fucked up the drywall.
I put a hole in the drywall.
I'm picturing the paper calendar
that you just put a thumb through.
Yeah, right.
And it kept stripping. You know how the screws can strip i like take the drill and i try to find
an even different one to get it even more one of these you're rocking one of these guys the big
calendar that's sort of yeah yeah kind of like uh kind of like that bottom right i'm just saying
with the uh screws in the corners you see those uh dude it's over once the big calendar comes
into play what that i mean that's crazy that you couldn't's over once the big calendar comes into play what that i mean
that's crazy that you couldn't do that well the big calendar is the worst listen i've never claimed
yeah i've always said i'm not the handyman i just said i walk into ace hardware and the guys know
me by name and they're like what do you need today and i'm like i need a big like a warehouse
broom the big calendar that's called those fucking push broom yeah the push broom for for
guys that don't have kids when when the big calendar shows up it's over because you just
live by the big calendar it dominates your life i i went i want it i want the and when you miss
something on the big calendar it's problems i miss shit all the time on the big calendar
it's like well it's on the calendar. It's been on the calendar.
I don't fucking look at that.
Our calendar just got to November.
I forgot some of the stuff
we post on the calendar.
Let's see it.
What's November?
Oh, man.
Are we not running that back?
We are running it back? Yeah, we've got to run it back.
Yeah, we have to.
That'll be after Black Friday weekend.
Yeah, we've got to spin the wheel and do it.
Yeah.
Friday, Black Friday is Coin Monday's book,
and then this will be after that.
Also, merch coming soon.
Merch coming soon.
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Love it.
I love the Steelers tonight, by the way.
Tough short rest, man.
You're beginning to love them even more.
Yeah, we're going to be streaming.
It's going to be great.
Is Will Levis that dude?
I don't know.
Will Levis might be that dude.
Define him in one game.
That's exactly what we do.
That's exactly how this works.
I mean, are you kidding?
Is he a top five QB?
Is he the GOAT or is he a bust?
Tell me what it is.
I can't fix it, sorry.
I don't know.
What?
I mean, every show I have a camel toe.
Every show.
I'm going to polish.
This is crazy.
Do you have a penis, Jerry?
I do, but it's inside me right now.
Yeah, the yak is not a good show for waist down.
Yeah, we've never been about that.
There you go.
Just cover it up.
I think Will Levis is good, though.
Yeah.
I think he benefited from just letting it rip.
I think when it's your first game and there's not really film out on you,
you can just let it rip and bomb it to Hopkins.
Yeah.
I'm curious what happens when he bombs it and you know it picked off you know it only goes one
of two ways you either bomb it take risks like that or you just shell up and you're probably
never right yeah so we'll see but right now he's the goat in my eyes he's on a goat trajectory yeah
if you can keep this up four touchdowns every game if you if you throw four touchdowns every
game that'd be pretty good.
That's actually pretty insane.
That's pretty fucking insane.
He's averaging four touchdowns a game right now.
Yeah.
In his whole career.
In his whole career.
It's unbelievable.
Goat.
KB, what are you on tonight?
I'm out of money.
Oh, no.
You hit your first cold spell?
Yeah, which makes me realize how well i was doing in the beginning
yeah the beginner's luck of gamblers is the best what do you usually bet it started with first
touchdowns and it spiraled to betting on raheem blackshear any times so so you just do nfl
i'll throw in yeah i'll throw in like tyree Hill, Christian McGaffrey,
and some third string running back,
and I'll get super excited when I'm two for three.
Then I'll watch the full game,
and the guy won't even get a touch that I need to score.
Yeah, BC, I went with BC on.
What was that tight end last week?
Oh, that was bad.
That was a crazy pick.
He didn't even play.
I've done that, yeah.
BC was like, oh, goal line, tight end.
He'll get a touchdown.
They were on the one-inch line, and we're in 11 personnel.
He never even saw the goal.
He never even was there.
I didn't even know.
In the fourth quarter, I was like, is our guy black or white?
I don't know who that guy is I bet on.
Deontay Johnson, though, touchdown tonight.
Did he?
Yeah.
Hopkins. Who's playing quarterback for Pittsburgh? Kenny. Is that better on Deontay Johnson though? Touchdown tonight. Yeah. Hopkins is the hop.
Who's playing quarterback for Pittsburgh?
Kenny.
Kenny.
Jerry's had me bet.
Deontay Johnson score a touchdown for a year and a half now.
And he has not scored a touchdown in like 19 straight games.
20, 20 straight games.
At this point, if he scores a touchdown, I'm still down.
A hundred percent.
If I'm you, I'm betting him
every week until he does. That's exactly what I've
been doing. It's 20 in a row.
You can't stop. I can't stop.
I just did.
Have to do it. Why don't we switch up the vibes
and just take a first touchdown
score? That's
KB's specialty. No. Now I want to watch
the full game. First touchdown score is intimidating.
Oh, yeah.
Very. These are good is intimidating. I am.
Very.
These are good.
These are good balls.
Touchdown scores are just hard in general.
A little hard to grip.
Maybe not.
A little hard to grip.
Yeah, we need the... You're supposed to, like, kind of fold it in your hand.
I think they aired them up a little bit too much.
Yeah, you're supposed to be able to get, like, a grip on it, like, with your...
Like a closed fist.
No, what we need to do is I'm going to buy different dodgeballs.
We need to get the dodgeballs that are like...
The foam?
The foam.
Gator balls.
Gator balls?
I'm buying some right now.
Hit up...
You know, Ebo played collegiate dodgeball.
What?
That's not a thing.
He's the reason why we almost went to the collegiate dodgeball World Series last year.
Wait, we got to see a clip of this.
He played?
He played at James Madison.
Intramural?
I mean, it's not NCAA regulated, but they do travel and stuff.
Jake Marshall dominated travel.
Yeah.
So funny.
Gator balls?
Gator skin dodgeballs? That's what we called it.
Yeah, yeah, gator.
All right, I'm buying some.
Oh, yeah, these are the awesome ones.
Those are smaller.
I'm going to buy.
They make various sizes of those, right? I think that, yeah, they make awesome. Those are smaller. I'm going to buy it. They make various sizes of those, right?
I think that, yeah, they make ones that size,
and then they make more of a handheld 12-inch softball size.
I'm buying four boxes of them.
Is this just a Chicago thing?
I just keep meeting 50-plus-year-olds who are friends with Michael Jordan.
Dude, my Uber driver yesterday said he was in tel aviv with michael jordan right
before the shit went down and he showed me a pic him and michael he showed me michael's number
he pulled it up and i froze in his car i think i think when you get to a certain level of celebrity and fame like MJ's at I do think there's those type of guys
like befriending like regular dudes you know what I mean yeah I don't believe they were great
friends right but your life is in such a weird like orbit of celebrities and like everyone's
famous it's like yeah I'm gonna I want to be friends with an uber driver he's just a regular dude he said he has another job i also think because mj um to put it lightly likes to
gamble i think he meets a lot of people it's a lot of it might have been a seedy underbelly yeah
he meets a lot like i think that if you met mj and you're like want to gamble on this you just
instantly be good friends yeah oh shit yeah he gave me
some inside scoops about like the pippin wedding oh yeah michael's gonna be the best man he said
yeah how's that known yeah i think it was reported really yesterday he's still they're still like
that he said he he's the one who leaked the dwight howard is gay no, it's his son. Who leaked? My Uber driver.
He said, yeah. The Uber driver leaked that?
He said, yeah.
I saw him holding hands with two dudes.
I said, this can't be Dwight.
He's like, he gay for real.
He like mans.
He kept saying, he like mans.
He's like, he's cold-blooded.
No, wait, Brennan, it's-blooded. No, wait.
Brandon, it's Michael's son.
Yeah, okay.
So that's why he's the best man.
Okay.
Yeah, it makes sense.
I don't think Scotty's going to get invited to the wedding.
Would be my guess.
His ex-wife?
I don't think he'd invite.
Wait, Michael Jordan's son is...
This is insane.
Wait.
Somebody start from the beginning here.
All right.
Scottie Pippen was married to a woman named Larsa Pippen.
Yes.
They have a couple kids, I believe.
Michael's son is now engaged to Larsa.
Okay.
Oh, my good God.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
And it might have something to do...
Like, Scottie is taking a turn.
The best man.
Well, Scotty's taking a turn the last couple of years where he's just been like bashing MJ.
And it might that might be involved a little bit.
Oh, shit.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
How old's Michael's son?
He's probably in his like early 40s now.
No, no, no, no.
Not that old, right?
I don't think he's that old.
Like 35, maybe?
I feel like he was in college.
I can't remember if this is one of the UCF.
You're thinking of the other one, though, aren't you?
How old is Larsa Pippen?
Is it Marcus?
Oh, Marcus is in his early 30s.
Sorry.
For some reason, I thought Marcus was playing.
The other one played ball, right?
Yeah, at UCF in Illinois.
Yeah.
They don't get clowned enough.
What do you mean?
For not being as good as Michael Jordan?
Yeah, I mean, this is like Bronny.
Bronny's got to –
Yeah.
It's a good thing no one knows that he's related to LeBron James.
Bronny has an excuse now, though, with the –
Is he going to play?
That's what they're saying, yeah.
They're saying he's going to play, yeah. He's going to play this year? That's what they're saying yeah they're saying he's gonna play yeah he's gonna play this year that's what they're saying i don't
know we'll see who's they they yeah i mean we're talking about saying it they uh bob knight said
michael jordan was the greatest player you'd ever seen before michael jordan played one second of
professional basketball well there was that story going around that the Blazers GM in the MJ draft
called Bob Knight and was talking about it because Bob Knight coached all these guys
when the U.S. still sent college kids to the Olympics.
And they're like, we need a center.
And Bob Knight was like, all right, then just play MJ at center.
Like, you should draft MJ.
He didn't listen.
Bob Knight knew a little thing about basketball.
That's an underrated call on your shot, though.
Because Kareem had already had a pretty lengthy career at this point.
Bird and Magic are at the height.
This is 1984.
Yeah.
They're at the very height.
They're at the height of their shit.
Dr. J is a thing.
There have been a lot of great guys.
And Michael Jordan is still a college player.
And Bob Knight was like the best basketball player I'd ever seen.
And then he ended up being right.
He's about to be right.
Bob Knight knew a thing about basketball.
Bob Knight knows.
Say what you want about the man.
He knows ball.
He knows ball.
He knows ball.
What do you say about him, Brandon?
Yeah, what did you say?
No, he wasn't talking to me.
He was just saying that he was complicated.
Complicated.
Complicated.
He did run Larry
Bird off from
Indiana, right?
No.
That's what I
heard.
From who?
From Larry Bird.
Ken Benson
ran Larry Bird
from Indiana.
Ken Benson
was an asshole.
It was Ken
Benson, dude.
Ken Benson's
the guy that
Kareem punched
in the face.
The famous
video Kareem was fucking clocking the guy.
I do like the idea of a coach being like,
I want to be hated so much that all my guys will become so much closer as teammates.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Bob Knight literally was like, yeah, I hope they hate me
because then they'll have something in common.
Yeah, the bond.
Yeah, the bond.
That is a weird.
It's such a great like line of thinking.
That's the weird thing
is like it kind of did work.
Like he was a total
fucking asshole
but like the guys
who played for him
all seemed to love him.
Yeah.
They all
they won a lot of games.
I don't know.
It's just a very
tough time.
Tough people.
Yeah.
Good hard coaching.
Jerry I might let you just be a hard coach for a couple days here.
I love people going gassers and stuff.
I like that.
Cracking the whip.
Who's the best son of a legend that, like, lived up to the...
Marvin Harrison Jr.?
Yeah, it might be Marvin Harrison Jr., right?
Manning.
Because we were talking about Steve Irwin on the other day.
He's on a great trip.
Steve Irwin is.
No.
Plays alligators.
Archie Manning sucked.
Yeah, but you're still like a son of a pro.
Archie Manning's not a legend.
He's only a legend because he had Peyton.
Ken Griffey.
Ken Griffey, good answer.
Was Senior like that?
Senior was like that.
Senior was pretty good, though.
Like, Ken Jr. was like the chosen one before.
Vlad Guerrero, yeah.
I don't think Ken Griffey was a legend.
Cuddy Rhodes.
How about the Longs?
We got to play on the same team.
Yeah, the Longs.
That's a good one.
Howie and Chris and Kyle.
David Carr.
Chad's saying Barry Bonds.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm talking about a guy like Brawny or Jordan's kids
where it's like all eyes on you, you're a chosen one,
only because you're the son.
Not like your dad was pretty good, but elevated to that status.
Bobby Bonds was pretty good, but he wasn't a legend.
He wasn't the guy.
He was on a team with Willie Mays and Willie McCovey.
That's a good question.
Prince Fielder and his dad, same amount of home runs.
Same exact amount of home runs.
Apparently, Tiger Woods' son is going to be
Oh, he's next up.
Back off. That's our guy.
You can't just draft Charlie Woods.
No, no, no.
We took him two years ago.
You drafted Charlie Woods. Oh, no, no, no. PMT, we took him two years ago. You drafted Charlie Woods?
Yeah.
He was the four-play now?
Yeah, he had a, pardon my take, clubhead cover.
Charlie Woods.
Okay, that's pretty good.
And the theory that we're working on is that,
because we've said some things about Tiger,
maybe Charlie likes that we're hard on his dad.
We say the shit no one else would.
Yeah, I think he has a son.
Yeah. But yeah, he think he has a son.
Yeah.
But yeah, he's ours.
Next up.
He's ours.
He is.
No, we dipped him up when he was 13 years old.
We've had a lot of talks about this 13-year-old.
A lot.
Titus, we got to get a kid.
You got to get a kid.
Yeah, who do we want?
Who's out there?
I mean, what's the board looking like? We'll have to look.
Yeah, find one kid and just ride him.
How old is Serena's kid?
Like three?
You want to go ahead and...
Tatis.
Oh, yeah.
Fernando.
The old man wasn't that good.
Well, he hit a grand slam in the same inning.
What are you talking about?
Right?
He wasn't that good.
Two grand slams in the same inning?
That doesn't make him a legend.
That's all I'm saying.
Fernando Tatis is a cardinal legend.
Did he not hit two grand slams in the same inning? Yes, he did. Okay,. That's all I'm saying. Fernando Tatis is a cardinal legend. Did he not hit two grand slams in the same inning?
Yes, he did.
Okay, I rest my case.
Fernando Tatis is not a cardinal legend.
I rest my case.
Yes, he is.
No, he is not.
All right, listen to the fucking Backwood Mississippi guy,
not the kid who grew up an hour south of St. Louis.
That's Backwood, Missouri.
Yeah.
We're from the same place, basically.
Yeah, but you didn't watch Cardinal Baseball
growing up.
Yes, I did.
How far away is Laurel, Mississippi
from you? Two and a half hours. I talked
to him today. Oh, yeah. Clinton Portis.
I'd always known
that Clinton Portis was born in Laurel,
but I talked to him today. He lived there until he was 12.
He's a Mississippi guy,
and we were talking about the food and the gas station food.
I love that. What about the gas station food and the gas station food. Love that.
What about the gas station food?
The gas station food in Mississippi is just as good as restaurant food anywhere else.
I think that's more of an indictment on the restaurant food.
Our restaurant food is elite.
That'd be a fact.
No, no, no.
Y'all can make fun of me, and y'all can do more for Mississippi.
Y'all ain't going to attack the fucking food down there.
No, no, but we're not attacking the food.
Our restaurants are incredible.
I'm not denying that the gas station food is good,
but what Mark said is probably a fair point
that that means your restaurant food is not good.
No, it means our restaurants are so good
that even the gas,
anywhere you go in Mississippi,
you get good food.
Anywhere.
Anywhere.
Kroger, great food.
Huh?
Arby's not so much.
Okay.
Arby's not so much.
May I rest my case?
I'm talking about like you can get an actual.
I believe it.
I absolutely believe it.
A three-course lunch, like a meat and two vegetables at a gas station.
That dude who does the red beans and rice.
John.
Yeah, the guy from Louisiana we should have hired.
No, who I like.
He's great, does great stuff.
He is.
Every time he goes and gets red beans and rice but damn it i want that
he goes like little holes in the wall in new orleans fucking awesome looks so good we were
talking about this on uh where do we land on this we were talking on mostly sports about the cities
because you brought up like cities that have great food and then we realized like basically
every city has great food but there are some that you're just gonna find many yeah denver was the
one that everybody seemed to agree on.
It doesn't have its own.
Oh, no.
Denver has incredible Mexican food.
Really?
Yes.
I heard that.
Yes.
Lot, lot.
Yeah, you're right.
What city sucks?
Yeah.
What city?
Okay.
Pittsburgh.
Cincinnati.
I can agree with that.
Pittsburgh.
I mean, that shit's trash
Yeah
Yeah but you get some
Kielbasa's
You get some
What about that
Brogues are good
What about that
Brothers sandwich place
Brogues are great
They are great
Brogues don't get slept on
But they're like
The Piedmont brothers
Is that what you're talking about
Yeah
That's junk food though
That's junk food
Yeah
I thought that was good
It's okay but like
You get it
If you're sober
You're like What the hell is this?
The sandwich is this big with fries stuffed in there.
Sounds pretty good.
It is good.
I'm just saying I think it is good.
I might be talking out of turn right now.
They probably need this dodgeball.
I've been talking out of turn.
Oh, by the way, the cover doesn't do anything.
But we stopped talking about that.
Because there was a moment here where we were on pace for the worst yak of all time.
Where we just narrated what we were watching that no one else could see.
Wait, is this Ebo?
He just sent me these with no...
No, that's not Ebo.
I don't know if he's in this.
This was this year.
Yeah, we need those.
I think these are hard dodgeballs.
They just under-inflate them so you can get, like, a fist grip on them.
Like, they throw with a closed-hand grip.
All right, I'm getting the dodgeballs delivered here.
That just looks like dodgeball, though.
That doesn't...
Compared to what?
Well, I mean, I felt like if you're watching a league
or some sort of competitive, it would be elevated.
Right.
This just looks like a bunch of random-ass dudes playing dodgeball.
This doesn't look like...
Yeah.
It's not like extra special.
They could throw it a little hard, but...
Yeah.
You watch a high school football game versus an NFL football game,
you're like, well, damn, this is a completely different fucking sport.
But what I'm seeing here
looks a lot like...
Did you watch
The Wagon Wheel?
Did you boys watch The Wagon Wheel?
Yeah, I watched every fucking
down of it.
Yeah.
One in seven versus one in seven. One of my favorite quarterback battles.
Jeff Undercliff.
Jeff Undercuffler Jr., the senior out of Holy Cross Academy,
versus Tommy Olatowski, the super sophomore out of St. Rita.
It was a fun game.
It was one in seven versus one in seven for a rivalry trophy.
The wagon wheel.
Yeah.
That's matching, baby.
That's Maction.
Yeah, but your team fucking blew it.
Our coach is now at Colorado.
Sean Lewis.
Yeah, he's an OC.
He's a Wisconsin guy who I knew when I was at Wisconsin.
He's an OC there.
I'm rebuilding.
You do college ball, Jerry?
Nope.
No.
Ask him what team.
I wouldn't know.
You ever tried? What conference is Arizona State Jerry? No. No. Ask him what team. I wouldn't know. You ever tried?
What conference is Arizona State playing?
You know that.
You never like throw it.
I mean, you watch college basketball.
West Coast.
ACC's not that long.
Jerry West Coast.
What do you mean West Coast?
West Coast.
What's the conference over there?
Pac-12?
Yep.
Yep.
Got it.
I'm not good with college teams, college players at all.
Like, whatsoever.
Titus, how good are you at naming, like, a basketball conference?
What do you mean?
Like, the small conferences.
Like, if I asked you to name all ten teams in the Patriot League,
could you do it?
They change so often.
Yeah, right.
It's tough.
Lehigh.
I don't want to ask you that.
Bucknell.
Colgate.
I used to, like, when I was in high school.
Who's the guy who can do this?
When I was in high school, I probably could have been pretty good at it.
I do, like, the sporkles, you know, all the time.
All right, Kyle.
Give me all the teams in the Patriot League.
I don't actually know this shit.
Okay.
Bucknell.
Is that Lehigh and Bucknell and Colgate?
Lehigh, Bucknell, Colgate. Holy Cross? Ooh. Is that Lehigh and Bucknell and Colgate? Lehigh, Bucknell, Colgate.
Holy Cross?
Ooh.
No, they're in LaSalle or Lafayette.
No.
Lafayette's correct.
They're not Patriot?
America East?
Who's he talking about?
Holy Cross?
Are they in the America East?
Holy Cross is absolutely in the Patriot League.
Oh, yeah.
Who's in the America East?
I don't know.
Sacred Heart?
Keep America East out of it right now.
You've got Colgate.
You've got Lafayette.
Who the fuck is in the American East?
Lafayette.
Are we doing American East or Patriot?
Vermont.
We keep doing American East.
Patriot League.
Patriot League.
You already got Bucknell.
That's four.
Give me some states.
Upstate New York.
Is Navy in the Patriot League?
Niagara.
Correct. No. Ow. Ow. Patriot League? Niagara? Correct.
Correct.
No.
Ow.
Ah.
Ow.
I guess it's not upstate. Iona?
No, it's not upstate.
I'm sorry.
No, Iona's the MAAC.
I took a visit there.
To Iona?
I almost went there.
Really?
Yeah.
What's this?
Patriot League?
Yeah.
Oh, this is the Patriot League.
Yeah, there you go.
Yep.
It sure is.
Can confirm.
I'm Chris Broussard.
Can confirm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm confirming it right here.
Yep.
That's right.
That's what he did.
Confirming it.
Yep.
Yep.
Can confirm.
Oh, man.
All right. I got to run and do an interview.
Let's spin the wheel.
Let's spin the wheel.
It's been a good yak.
We recovered nicely after the start.
It was a tough start.
Apologies to everyone.
Soon we're going to be able to see.
Literally, when we say, look at Big Ab not be able to get his shirt on.
Swing the camera.
No, I think we're, TJ, are we not rigged up that you can, like, press a button?
What?
To go out to the court?
I don't have that yet.
But you will, right?
That's what Pete said.
Yeah.
So here's my question.
Brandon is obviously very distracted having people out on the court.
But also, one of the cool things about the New York studio was the glass, the idea that
anybody walking by, you can pull them in.
You kind of, like, keep tabs on what's going on around the office um we are pro people like walking around while
we're doing the show the only reason it doesn't work right now is because we are waiting to do
the office reveal video which will be out i think monday as soon as the office reveal comes out
it's open like right now in a perfect world we'd, oh shit, Donnie's missed 10 shots in a row.
Yeah.
Look at this idiot shooting.
And then we watch him shoot.
My fear though, do you think we'll be distracted every single show?
That you'll be sitting here every, or is it just going to be an adjustment period?
They're just doing like, they're doing a thing today.
I don't think it'll be a full like 15 guys.
Yeah, I think it'll be an adjustment period.
But then it also, remember, it will be like, you know, Stephen Che, you can't do this.
And then he goes out and tries to do it.
And we laugh.
And he has to run suicides.
Yeah.
He's got a lot of material.
Yeah.
As soon as the video is released, it might be Monday morning.
Stephen Che will start every yak with running suicides.
We'll put a timer on it.
A wheel for how many?
Hard in.
Oh, a wheel for how many would be good hard in hard in
oh well that's he's hard bro that got he's hard actually the second of the month now
and i think what we're gonna do too is like next thursday everyone get ready we're gonna have a
full office we're gonna do a full yak i think ronan and sass
might even be here we're gonna have a full yak and then right after the yak we're gonna literally
transition into dodgeball hell yeah so like we'll everyone will go to that like we'll push everyone
to that stream and there also will be times where it's like someone will be playing something like
i think on friday we're gonna do a wiffle ball home run derby we can also like watch the first
round while we're finishing up the yak
and commentate on it and be like, look at these fucking idiots.
Love it.
It's going to be all seamless.
It's going to be beautiful.
I'm so excited.
It's everything I ever wanted.
Maybe a six-pack too.
Don't.
Okay, fine.
I don't want a six-pack.
I want to play wiffle ball.
Wiffle ball home run derby is going to be so nice.
Fran, will you apologize
For saying you're
Better sure than me
Yeah please do
I was just setting it up
So me and you could
Do it
Yeah we could do it
But I just
I need to hear you say those
Because that is personal
That is personal
Mark I'm sorry
I can't apologize for that
I can't
I will allow you to prove it
But I can't apologize for that
It's just that It's just that I but I can't apologize for that.
It's just that I...
And it's arrogant and it's stupid and it's... But I do
believe it.
He does believe it.
That's the problem.
We'll find out. Alright, let's spin the wheel.
I apologize I have to
leave again. These Thursdays are bad for me.
I do 17 shows.
Oh, wait.
Where's Mousetrap?
Put Mousetrap back on.
Mousetrap does not come off.
Get it back on there.
I feel like Mousetrap's there.
No, Mousetrap never comes off the wheel.
Never comes off the wheel.
What's Mousetrap?
I feel like it's diminishing returns.
Oh, you'll find out.
Hopefully we get it.
Fuck. Damn it. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, you got to put your finger in the Mousetrap. Oh. What's a mouse? You'll find out hopefully we get it
Fuck you gotta put your finger in a mousetrap
Real high level humor these ones hurt like a bitch we real high level. Oh, yeah
It's it's drastically more pain probably five times worse. Yeah, I did
Probably shouldn't have gone with the finger.
Seems like a work liability for me.
Does it hurt?
Does your finger hurt?
No.
It was like black and blue the first day.
Oh, fuck.
All right, well, we can get the old mousetraps.
Nah, these are more fun.
Oh, TJ's tough.
TJ's tough, tough.
Black and blue the first day.
We survive.
All right, we'll see we survive. Yeah. Uh, all right.
We'll see everyone tomorrow. Bye. See you tomorrow.
Bye.