The Yak - World Record Day LIVE From Stu Feiner's Presented By High Noon | The Yak 8-22-23
Episode Date: August 22, 2023READY TO ROLL!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
All right.
You know.
All right. Hey, we're live.
We're live.
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In all of the planning of the Yak, doing three shows yesterday, an accidental 12-hour stream,
including a case race, and then being like, let's go sit
in the sun.
That was insane all over the place.
How was your guys' tummies this morning?
Not good. My tummy was twisted,
man. Not good.
Was that a return to gluten for you, basically?
I had to take this pill called a gluten cutter
and it didn't cut at all.
My poop this morning was
50-50 blood
and blood.
Oh, Nicky.
Uncut jams.
Uncut jams.
This angle was like,
you know, and when the Kardashians
pranked FaceTimed people and they were just like,
that's what we're doing.
Hey, there we are.
Why can't we hear ourselves?
I know, that's what I saw. Why can't we hear ourselves? Yeah, I know. That's what I saw.
Why can't we hear ourselves?
Why can't we?
You kind of got the best angle.
Who, Big Cat?
Yeah.
He's looking like a boss.
Oh, that's not a good angle.
All right.
So, yeah, we're here.
We're at Stu's house.
Yeah.
This is my favorite part of this show today is the fact that I don't remember anything
we're doing.
Not a clue.
We have grapes.
We have an entire pool of grapes, and I can't remember what we're doing with the grapes.
We're sipping foot wine, baby.
Yeah.
So we're breaking the world record.
I thought it was my wheel.
Or no, it's a world record.
I thought it was my wheel was the smashed grapes.
Yes, maybe it was.
Right.
Yes.
So that was also a world record I found.
Oh, a world record.
Yes, yes.
And then we have world records.
We're also going to do a belly flop contest.
Yeah, bring those over here, Stu.
Stu, the best.
Do you want to talk in the mic?
Stu, they got a bonus mic.
Here, let Stu introduce your house while we eat, because you can talk forever.
Go, Stu.
Oh, God.
You know Kate won't want to talk.
Yeah.
Go, Stu. You know Kate won't want to. Go Stu.
Okay, so basically these are the cheeseburgers from Brick and Cork from America Fine Food Truck, A&F Fine Foods.
Oh my God, so juicy.
They have great food, great burgers, great dogs, great sausage and peppers.
They can go chicken parm.
They can put a pizza oven onto the food truck.
It has a full kitchen, so there's nothing it really can't do.
What do you have for the food truck?
Stu, explain.
Tell us the history of this house real quick.
Okay, so sixth grade in 1973, summer of sixth grade,
we got caught swimming in this person's pool. They have
a 7.8 acre estate. And my friend has a 70 by 100 house that backs up to it. So we jumped the fence
and we go swimming in their pool. They catch us and they say, hey, listen, do you need a job?
Because we need people to help. So P.S.
me, my brother, and
four friends came here and worked. And we
immediately got fired because
we were six people together.
It was like being at summer camp.
But we were getting paid.
But the day I met
the owner, I said to him,
when you die, can I buy
your house?
It was quite funny. I come from a 14-year-old. But he knew I was I said to him, when you die, can I buy your house? You asked him that?
It was quite funny.
I come from like a 14-year-old.
But he knew I was dead fucking serious.
I was the same size now that I was at 14.
And here, someone take these and please give everyone a burger.
So he dies in 1980.
The wife dies in 1989.
The son calls me in 1990
And I negotiate
And I buy 7.8 acres
In three parcels
A 1.8 acre side field
That for two years
We rode horses
And played
80 yard tackle football
All marked out
Back 3.2 acres
We played hardball
For like two years
We had a hardball league
With umpires
I paid for fucking everything
Because I was And money at the time.
And then we also rode around like really fast in like a track, a three-acre track in a circle.
And then I built 11 houses in the backyard.
I named him after my oldest son, Sean Michael Court.
Oddly enough, he became the Alder Torinova High School 1580 SAT 2280, the new way.
And went to Brown and then got his master's at Buffalo.
And, you know, so he did pretty good for himself too like that.
And then I held 2.5 acres.
This house was 1,900 square feet on 7.8 acres.
It was the smallest house in the world.
It was so tiny and the bedrooms were so tiny it was almost fucking creepy.
It was like, oh, my God, how fucking tiny.
Their bedrooms were the size of bathrooms.
So I blew it out.
I put a million dollars into the house.
I made it 4,300 square feet.
Matched the brick and the slate roof
from a church in Massachusetts, oddly enough.
And ready to roll.
That's pretty much how it's been.
That was great.
I used to have sex with Sandy
across on the cul-de-sac, like, um, I used to have sex in the back and across on the, uh, cul-de-sac
doggy style.
Yeah.
Yelling at her going, I'm going to own this house one day.
And she's like, listen, your penis is too small to talk.
Cause it's going to fall out of my vagina.
Please.
Can you concentrate?
You know, like, you know, she wasn't worried about what I'm going to do in the future.
You know what I mean?
She wanted task at hand.
So the dick was too small to fuck.
Yeah.
No, I mean, not too small.
I was always bad in whatever it was.
You know what I'm saying?
Six inches, five and seven-eighth inches.
You have to just keep it in.
It's not terrible.
I thought it was small.
It's not.
Fuck the world, fuck my wife, and fuck you.
You know what I'm saying?
That's how I feel.
Where did Steve Mahalik kill himself?
He was in another state.
I want to say...
Oh, I thought it was the backyard. I want to say in ohio i thought the wife lived in the back
i want to say in ohio and his kidneys broke down and he was on dialysis and he was in for
you know a perpetual state of like you know being a vegetable and he shot himself
then that was the previous how do you shoot himself as a vegetable? Say that again? He was the previous owner? No, no.
Oh, oh, a legend.
His name is William Schwindler.
He was the co-founder of Grumman Aerospace with Leroy Grumman.
In World War II, he built the fighter planes.
Really? And he built fighter planes, and he built ships and bombers and everything.
And his claim to fame was the movie Apollo 13, which had Tom Hanks and Gary Sinise.
Yes.
There's a scene in the movie where they throw all this
stuff on maybe a table this size
and they say, you're the smartest people in the world, we gotta
get them down. Because the problem was
once they went through the atmosphere,
the trick was, how don't they burn
up? And he
was the one who figured out
how to get them back
here. And they landed right here.
Schwindler did?
Yes.
That was his claim to fame.
William Schwindler, Apollo 13.
He was the scientist that saved their lives.
I thought you said he co-founded something with Grumman.
Grumman Aerospace.
He was the co-founder of Grumman Aerospace.
Grumman Aerospace.
Well, that's a claim to fame as well.
A hundred percent.
Thanks.
A hundred percent.
Like at Roslind City.
How'd he die?
They had this big mural.
Maybe it's like a 50-foot mural.
And he's in it with Leroy Grumman
looking at plans of a
fighter plane. Wow. Is he still living?
Oh, no. He died in 1980.
He died in the ice storm of 1980.
Oh.
All his trees.
All his trees.
There was ice
hanging from them and it was putting undue pressure on them.
And he knew that it would break their limbs, their whatever, branches.
So he was taking a pole and kept stabbing them.
Didn't feel good.
Went into the hospital, died.
Wait, so he didn't die from the ice?
That didn't kill him.
What?
He didn't die from the ice storm.
Well, he died breaking the ice off his trees.
The ice didn't, like, impale him or anything.
Yeah, I don't know.
An ice lightning bolt didn't go through his fucking head or his penis or anything.
No, no, no, no.
I just explained myself pretty fluently.
I think I don't understand what the problem is.
Kate followed me.
I don't understand.
Why?
Are you with me or not?
No confusion, Brandon.
No, exactly.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Brandon's having a rough day.
No, he doesn't come from the part of the country that is literate.
Let's be real.
I don't even know if I'm allowed to say that anymore.
Not allowed to say that.
Yeah, you're allowed.
You are.
I recant that statement, Brandon.
I humbly apologize in advance of anything I apologize for.
If I'm illiterate, I don't know what recant means.
Exactly.
But you do.
Brandon said there's no one south of Tennessee that can whoop him.
Or no one south of Louisville.
Listen, I would say he's very tough because I would say he'd be very hard to knock out.
I don't know how strong he is, but I guarantee he could take a punch.
I guarantee, like, you're not going to hit him with three punches,
and he's like one of the brothers that we just saw get knocked out.
Yeah.
All right, well, Stu.
All right, I'm out. No, no,, well, Stu. Alright, I'm out.
No, no, you can stick around. Yes, I'm gonna
be here. It's more like, where do I go? It's my house.
Do you wanna sit? Yeah, do you wanna sit?
Do you wanna go? Front of the cameras.
Everyone. Okay.
Turn around. Do you see what?
Did you see the cameras? Yes, I'll sit
over here. Okay, in front of the cameras.
Why would you sit over here when there's only two of us?
But what I wanted to say was, Stu, thank you so much for having us.
I love coming to your house.
It's an honor.
It's a pleasure.
We normally come with part of my take, but this is better.
It's more people.
And although I miss PFT and Hank.
Shout out PFT and Hank.
But this is amazing.
It's more talent here.
It's the most powerful and talented packed and really talented
show that Barstool's ever produced.
It goes without saying. You know what I'm saying?
Wait until Chicago.
And the best is yet to come.
This house is beautiful. How much did you put
into the pool?
Overall, probably about a quarter of a million dollars.
Jesus Christ. And is it 88 degrees today?
Right now it's perfect 88. I can prove it.
It was too hot last time. It was 89. I know. And I it 88 degrees today? Right now, it's perfect 88. I can prove it. You can go right over. It was too hot last time.
It was 89.
I know.
And I was, you know, I was perturbed.
Stu texted me like someone had died.
He's like, just before you come to my house, I just want to get in front of something.
The pool's 89.
I can't get it down to 88.
Were you tempted to just turn around?
I was just like.
I tried to throw ice in a pool.
It didn't work.
He was right.
Like, it was too hot.
It was one degree too hot.
Well, today, it's not too hot. It's gorgeous. Frank's in there right now. Like, Frank's in there. Frank's in there. He was right. Like, it was too hot. It was one degree too hot. Well, today it's not too hot. It's gorgeous.
Frank's in there right now. Like, Frank's in there.
This morning, it was 88, and it was
about 65 outside with a cool breeze.
My God, when you went in the pool,
it felt like 100 degrees. Yeah. When you got
out, you were freezing your dick off.
My dick immediately went in my stomach.
My balls immediately went up my, into
my stomach, and I looked like a four-year-old
girl's vagina.
Oh.
Yeah, well, that's something.
Classic.
40 years old?
I think that was a classic. It could have been any vagina.
Classic, classic.
No, it was still tight.
All right, so we got a lot of stuff planned today.
Harry.
Where should we start?
Should we start with anything specific?
Shout out High Noon, by the way.
They've set this whole thing up.
Shout out High Noon. So High Noon, we set this whole thing up. Shout out High Noon.
So High Noon, we're going to do these special yaks once a quarter.
This is going to be great.
I think we're going to play some roof ball in September in Chicago.
But High Noon, the best drink out there.
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I'm a peach vodka guy and a strawberry tequila guy.
Those are my favorites.
I'm a grapefruit, vodka, lime, tequila.
Oh, I love it.
Fun.
I love it.
I'm a watermelon, vodka, gotta-go strawberry tequila guy.
You know you're looking at a mango, man.
Okay.
Through and through.
Kate?
I am dreaming of the day I can crack open a peach and pour it on ice.
Oh, love it.
A glass of ice-cold peach.
Or stew?
I'm not going to stew.
Diabetic.
Diabetic. Okay, so there we go.
I've never had the diabetic flavor.
You don't want it.
But yes, High Noon,
thank you. So yeah, like once
every month or so, they're
sponsoring us doing
something special. I think we're going to do the corn maze
as well in the fall, so go drink High Noon
because we love our sponsors who let us do
fun shit. Delicious. Just a delicious
product. Everyone loves it. Kids love it.
You know, my son's friends
love it. You know, love it. Everyone
loves it. Listen, it's the new age of bar. So support
the people that support us. Let us do fun stuff.
That's the name of the game.
When's the corn maze? Is it in September?
Yeah, maybe October, September.
We're going to try to do roof pull September.
You guys are going to have to fly out for that.
Got to get something in November.
What about snowmen?
Snowmen come December.
Snowball fight?
Fly out for snowball fight?
You'll fly out for the Christmas special.
Oh, yeah.
You have to.
You have to be there for the Christmas party.
Maybe we'll just get you guys a place that you can stay at.
You can move all your furniture to.
He said he's getting a flop house out there.
Ooh, nice flop house.
A little bit, yeah, thinking about it.
Okay.
You also have to watch the case race that comes out on Friday.
I'm pretty hungover.
A little bit.
I feel great.
Definitely best performance I've ever had.
Brandon, I'm worried about.
He won't be able to handle the flack like you could.
I couldn't sleep last night at all.
Because of Brandon?
I was just thinking about Brandon and, you know, there's consequences to your actions.
Right, right.
And I feel like sometimes when you drink enough, you forget that there's consequences.
That's true.
Well, I'd like to point out, first and foremost, that I don't drink.
So anything that happens during a case race really isn't.
No, I see why you don't drink.
Yeah.
Because you turn into a beast of a man.
Game monster.
I'm fine.
I think it was a terrific case race.
It's going to be amazing.
It damn near came to blows.
Yeah.
If you've seen the first, like, three episodes of the Jeffrey Dahmer show,
that's what Brandon was during the case race.
Well, now, wait a minute.
Just as gay.
In fairness, I think the vibes guy
that we added to replace KB didn't really
bring the greatest vibes ever.
He brought a whistle.
He brought a whistle.
Yeah, but everyone should watch it.
The rest of the week,
the schedule is tomorrow we'll be live from Boston
because we're going to do the 20th anniversary.
Thursday we taped, what,
two hours with Tim Hitchings? That was a treat.
That was very, very fun.
So it's a packed week.
What should we start with?
What's the easiest thing to ease us in?
I think the easiest record seems
to be the CDs on the finger.
Does someone want to take that?
Probably Roan. He's like the music guy.
CDs on a finger. What's the record?
50.
It's way more? 50. 50?
Oh, shit. It's way more than 50. Was I incorrect? What is it about?
It's 247. Oh. 247.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, but you're gonna need Andre
to join you. Can't use fingers through holes.
What are you talking about? Alright, let's just
go get the CDs and sawgivers.
We should all try? Yeah. Roan will beat it right now.
How is that possible? How many?
250? How long do you have
to keep it?
Can you do it on your knuckle?
So my plan is... Oh, it's
like this? But see how
there's an arm to these? Like, if you can
be balanced on the arm, it's like
reinforcing it.
That's only some? Oh, we're not beating
this record. She has 400 in total
that she brought.
Pass the whole thing
down, Tess.
We can play like
dodgeball with these.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, we're going to
also do the game
where you spin the bottle
and there's an egg
and everyone has to run
except the person
who gets it
and they get to
chuck an egg at everyone.
Are we belly flopping?
We're belly flopping.
We're going to do
a belly flop contest.
Me versus Brandon
versus Stu.
And Kate.
That's how we're
going to induce birth.
I think it's going to shoot all the way back to Manhattan. I do think I can
out-tread Stephen Che.
I do think I can out-tread him.
I was going to start you slow.
No, we're so good. Are these legal
regulation discs?
That was just a stupid question.
You didn't have to answer.
I think it merited an answer.
The way he said it. See how ten feels on your finger.
It's hard.
Let's see how ten feels on your finger.
What about one?
Okay.
Yeah, all right.
Let's go five.
Just like that?
Oh, fuck.
You can turn your finger around.
Can we do one?
That's five.
Okay.
That's ten.
Why are you using your left, Ron?
Are you lefty?
Are we zooming in on this?
No, but that's just the one closest to him.
And my...
Diego, you want to come over here?
10.
Get in here, Diego.
15.
It's already a little bit of shakiness.
Not that I'm doubting.
20.
Yeah, we only need 200 more.
Is there a rule on if your arm can rest on something?
25.
25.
Are you feeling strong?
30.
I already feel the strain.
30.
30.
But you don't even know what this is, Sass.
How have you ever seen what I'm looking for?
35.
Make sure it's nice and straight up and down, though.
40.
Oh, you're doing this, Roan.
You're doing this, Roan.
He's surreal.
What do we have, 40?
45.
50.
50.
Roan, you got it.
Can you get to 100?
Yeah.
55. Roan looks very calm.. Can you get to 100? 55. Roan looks
very calm. Oh, yeah. 300 is
a lot.
Come on, Roan.
Focus, Roan.
60.
Oh, my God.
65.
Any bets on when it's going down?
I'm going to say right at
100. It's taking an angle already.
It's starting to get a little bit of a leaning tower here.
What is that, 70?
70.
75.
75.
Breathe.
Still pretty steady.
80.
Oh, my God.
This is incredible.
How are you feeling, Rowan?
85.
We're going to do it.
I don't think he can talk.
I don't think he can talk.
Okay.
90. I said we're he can talk. 90.
I said we're going to do it.
We're going to do this.
Your placements are very steady.
The stack is very steady.
There's 100.
Holy shit, bro.
You got to double that.
100.
Wait, we should just try to double it.
Okay.
Don't you think we got to just go for it?
Just a couple increments.
Just a couple increments.
You can go like 25.
All right.
Yeah, let's go 25s.
Rune's breathing is steady.
Let's be quick.
Let's get some on there.
He's getting a little impatient.
He needs to stack.
11, 12, 13.
Let's get some on there.
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.
You should have counted these out before.
I have 20.
I have 20.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, fuck!
It took too long!
It took too long!
Fuck!
That was not...
That was not Rowan's fault.
That was not your fault.
We should have the stack.
We couldn't count.
We couldn't count.
Do we have another entity that we stack them?
I could try right hand.
Wait, let's get group 25.
I like the
tens was nice. It's gradual.
Get us a bunch of tens
and we just never slow down.
Okay, yeah. That was doable.
That was doable.
I'm going to stack tens right here for you.
It just had to be faster.
Tens.
These are tens?
All right.
Roan has big hands, too.
Roan has surreal strength.
He's one of the strongest people I know.
Strong fingers.
Really lovely strong fingers.
Imagine a finger blast from Roan.
Oh, my gosh.
These are all stacks of ten right here.
You and me.
Ten. 10.
Okay.
You're pregnant.
I can't.
What do you want me to do?
This is...
I have to admit,
when I sat down,
I was like,
wait, what are we doing?
But then you realize
when you're going for a record,
you immediately just
like the inner competitor.
We can do this.
I was in.
We can do this.
I was ready to punt
the fucking episode.
How did the guy that broke it
come to Nick 25 and maybe we have a problem.
Six, seven.
Yeah, okay.
The way that the guy that broke it.
Nick 25 ready.
What?
Let me see.
Oh, you can use your...
You can go like this wrong.
Yeah.
How'd he do it?
Oh, that's so much better.
Don't you think?
Does that help?
He stacked them maybe like in groups of ten.
You have a stray?
I need one more.
And then sort of just perched them all to making sure all the weight's on one finger.
I got it.
I love that.
Let's do that room, don't you think?
Oh, thank you.
And stack it like that.
I think if you back up, too, to give yourself more room to like wiggle with it, too.
I don't want to be wiggling with it.
I want it to be dead still.
The wiggle is like, there was no way I was going to
keep under it if it started wiggling.
I'm going to try right hand now.
Are you going to do the finger gun thing or are you going to keep it straight?
However I did this one, it felt good,
dude. It felt like it was,
I don't even know what I did.
I blacked out.
You weren't there. It was someone else.
Someone else did that. What I think is important too,
you guys kept the stack very even the whole way up.
They were good stackers.
They were good stackers.
Not good counters, though.
Not good counters, but good stackers.
I appreciate you guys watching.
No, we're doing fine.
I hope it helps.
Sure, it helps.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
But I needed the encouragement.
It was nice.
You got this wrong.
Not yet, no.
Oh, I saw Oppenheimer, yeah.
Oh, I loved it, yeah.
Oh, it was fantastic.
I'll give it a 99 out of 100.
Ooh.
Yeah, and...
Sexy.
Titties, yeah.
Titties.
There's titties in it?
Good titties?
Or a few titties.
Yeah, a lot of them.
One, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60.
That's the main theme of the whole two hours.
I've never been more sure.
So there's only 200 here.
How many do we need?
We need...
247.
We got a whole stack down there.
Oh, there's those.
So we'll just put out 250.
I think so, too.
Which one do you want to use?
Should I try the left again? I don't know. Which one do you feel confident? I mean, I'm right-handed. I'd out 250. I think so, too. Which one do you want to use? Should I try the left again?
I don't know.
Which one do you feel confident?
I mean, I'm right-handed.
I'd take half.
You'd think that that would make it stronger, but you never know.
Y'all only need to stack what?
Let's try right-handed.
Right-handed?
What do we got?
Try the right-handed.
Sausage and peppers?
Oh, my gosh.
The sausage and peppers.
What was the name of that food truck again?
ANF.
ANF, wow.
The cheeseburger was delicious.
If you're in the Long Island area, A&F Food Truck, they'll come to your house, private parties.
They were saying they were doing fantasy football drafts, anything you want.
And guess what?
You might even get a cameo from Stu out of it.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Stu, find his shout-outs.
Stu, find his shout-outs.
Shout-outs, Stu, find his shout-outs.
Stu. Be like Stu.com. Be like Stu.com. Have you thought about signing-outs. Stu, find his shout-outs. Shout-outs, Stu, find his shout-outs.
Stu.
Be like Stu.com.
Be like Stu.com.
Have you thought about signing? Be like Stu.com.
Have you thought about signing Frank?
I'm on to that.
Stu, find his shout-outs.com.
You give him a bigger cut, you get more people coming to it.
Me too.
You know something?
He's doing well.
He has a good niche.
I mean, well is way under my estimation.
Right, he's killing.
He's the best in America.
He's making thousands of dollars a day.
Correct.
He made 20 grand last week?
20 grand.
Shout out Frank the Tank.
Big shout out, Frank the Tank.
All right, which finger?
Okay, he's doing that right.
Right, he's going right.
Are you going to try to curl?
Are you going to curl?
Are we allowed to have somebody grasping the wrist?
He can grab his own.
Grab your own wrist, yeah. Do you want to curl or no i like it like this all right 10
here they go probably a bad start i'm gonna go back to the left
okay that was like the biggest epic fail I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah.
I guess I'm left-handed.
Okay.
So you're left-handed.
Ten.
That feels good.
Already seeing a little bit of wobble, though.
Wanting.
I think once you get started, he's a little weight on there.
Thirty.
No, that's a little under.
Not a great stack there, Big.
No, that's good. Fifty. Let great stack there, but good.
50.
Let me just clean up the stack.
50.
60.
70.
What happened to the encouragement?
His forearms are strong.
Give him some time to adjust.
You guys are kind of rushing a little this time. Yeah, we're rushing.
Hold on.
Let me fix it for you.
90.
Rowan, you good?
I'll stack this direction.
Counter out the weight.
100.
110.
110.
Oh, man.
Slide up.
Rowan doing breathing technique Lamaze
that's a wobbly stack there by Nick
oh no
I think we gotta go opposites
what are they trying to get to
150
holy shit
60
170
sorry
steady buddy steady buddy I'm losing it See? Oh, god! 170. Sorry.
Rowan, Rowan, steady, steady, buddy.
Ah!
Steady, buddy.
I'm losing it, I'm losing it, I'm losing it.
Let him let go!
Steady the base, steady the base, ah!
Oh!
All right, 170.
Damn, that was sick.
Wait, can we just restack?
Yeah, let's just clean that up, let's clean that up.
Oh, 169.
That's 170.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, fuck.
Do we need to, I hate to do this, because I love you. What? Do we need to...
I hate to do this because I love you.
What?
Do we need another finger?
Yeah.
Someone else's finger?
Yeah, someone needs another finger.
Let me give it a try.
But what if you bend it?
All right.
Let me give it a try.
Cut those into tens again.
I'm going to give it a try.
All right, we're going to cut into tens.
I'm going to give it a try.
I'll start.
Yeah, let's stack.
I'm ready to stack.
It's doable.
What we just learned is it's doable.
I have feeble wrists.
They're like Bambi's legs. It's doable. If we just learned is it's doable. I have feeble wrists. They're like Bambi's legs.
It's doable.
If we fucking lock in.
I just want to see what it feels like.
I'm feeling strong but fat today.
The angles, the shadows.
That's really good.
The angles are not good.
The shadows are not helping me.
It's like 200 degrees.
I might go throw my hoodie on.
It's so hot.
What's the next one, TJ?
This will be our last chance to see these Then we'll move on
Sausage
You want to take a pool break too?
You got the tens?
Not right now, I'm trying to
We can do
We have these grapes behind you, we could do a big cat
What? We have these grapes behind you we could do, Big Cat. What?
We have these grapes behind you, we could do that record.
Yeah, let's do that.
So that was what?
Most juice extracted from grapes by treading in three minutes by an individual.
Yeah, he's dead.
That was Brandon.
I'm doing that?
Yeah.
Brandon can't do the records.
That means because you don't...
Oh, Brandon can do the records.
I lied.
I thought I can't.
You can.
In fact, you have to.
Specifically that one.
I'm okay, thank you. Oh, no thank you. Specifically that one. I'm okay, thank you.
Oh, no thank you.
I'm good for right now, but I'm going to after we break this record.
As a celebration, I'll have one.
I will be very excited to break a record.
That's the dream.
So if we break a record, what happens?
Do we get it, like, officiated?
We just have a record that we get to have.
We have it.
We have to submit it, but we do have witnesses standing on here and
the paperwork to fill out so hell yeah okay we got tens all right boys nick you want to stack
again i feel like you're a good stacker just do what you know well no i need two stackers
i can't stack you can stack i don't know you have steady hands state stack uh you're pregnant
try i don't know what that means. Okay.
These are steady.
I'm going. Okay.
This is nerve-wracking.
Okay.
Overhand, I feel like, is the way.
Okay.
My body is ready.
Body's a temple.
Is this sausage spicy?
You look like you have sturdy hands.
Yeah, you do.
Like, Roan has, like, delicate...
What the fuck, Kate?
Jesus.
Very delicate.
Roan has lady hands, is what we're all trying to say.
What the fuck, Kate?
No, I'm saying, like, graceful hands.
And big cats.
What the fuck?
Man, pause.
Pause.
I both have straight hands.
You got bear claws.
Seven.
All right.
Here's three. Here's three.
Here's three.
Eight, nine, ten.
Okay.
Beauty.
Here we go, boys.
Here, get in here, Nick.
Nick, you set the first stack going because you already know how to stack.
Well, this is a brand new finger.
And I'm doing it in a different way.
Ready?
Yep.
Wait, is that? Can I go like that? Yeah. You don't look flat. Wait, is that...
Can I go like that?
Yeah.
You don't look flat.
There, one, two.
This breeze.
The breeze.
Sturdy.
Sturdy.
Sturdy.
Already just sturdy.
Sturdy as hell.
Forty.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
Fifty.
Sixty.
Seventy. Oh. 70.
Should I be doing this?
80.
90.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
100.
Let's get it this way.
110.
Should we move to 20s?
120.
30. That's 100? 110. Should we move to 20s? Oh, fuck. 120.
30.
40.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Do you want hands?
Do you want hands?
Give me a sec.
Give me a sec.
Want hands?
Nope.
I'm good.
50.
60.
No, that's 60.
That was 20.
70.
70.
80.
Bring the hand back.
Oh, no.
No, we're good.
We're good.
We're good.
90.
90.
We're going to scooch this over.
We're going to scooch this over.
Okay.
You good?
You set reset?
Yeah.
That's 200 if Kate gets that on.
We've got to get this down here.
It's like Poltergeist.
What's that movie where they're doing the clay?
Ghost?
Oh, yeah.
Slowly step away.
Slowly.
It's as soon as I let go, I think.
No.
That's 200.
That's 200 if you can keep it.
No.
Step.
Rowan, I need maybe.
No.
Okay.
No.
Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Tell me when you're going to move away, though.
200, 200, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tell me when you're gonna move away though.
200, 200, 200. 200.
Steady, find it.
Blocking wind.
Oh!
That was too slow!
As soon as I get a little wobble it just goes.
You can't recover from a wobble.
200 though.
200. That shit is within reach. Doing it your first time. It just goes you can't recover from a wobble 200 away
200 that shit is within reach doing it your first time. Oh fuck
Maybe try it again later later some grapes. Let's have brand on let's get some great
We spin a wheel
Should we spin a wheel to see who has to drink all the juice you produce? Oh, I like that. Didn't someone already get that?
Didn't we already decide that?
I think it was Che, though.
It's grape time. I just have to post this.
No, we have to bottle it and we'll bring it to tomorrow's Yak.
Or we won't be there.
But we'll save it for September.
September's Yak.
Yeah, it'll be aged.
We'll have it for next year.
The actual one?
Do you have your moving truck?
Me?
Yeah.
Yes.
You can put it in your moving truck.
I'll put it in my moving truck.
Perfect.
I don't think you can get out of the plane.
What the hell is your deal?
Brandon, let's go.
CDs.
I'm doing the wine.
Wait, this one will be beat.
Sorry to all the Yak listeners.
I tried my best.
I'll try again later.
200 is good.
Of all manner of grief.
Let's just say don't look at the comments today, Dan.
Oh, fuck.
Also, that was nice of you to not just blow me out of the water.
If I got blown out of the water, I would've looked like-
Yeah, that would've-
Beak.
Very-
Especially after what Kate said about my wrists.
You're going socks?
No, but I'm not gonna get my feet dirty until I get in there.
I have hats and shirts for everyone. Just do fine-
Oh, that'd be-
Oh, fantastic.
I'm a hat and shirt guy.
Am I going in?
No, not yet.
Why are you hollering?
You've got to take your socks off.
I'm going to when it's time to get in.
And probably shirts.
All right, so wait.
What's the deal?
What's the deal?
You're going to get grape stains on.
This is fun.
I'm having fun.
Are you guys having fun?
I'm having fun.
I'm having fun.
Why do you have a Texas Tech shorts on?
Because they're free shorts.
Why do you have a Texas Tech shorts on?
Because I have a Texas Tech shorts on.
You have a Texas Tech shorts on?
Because he took it from my pile.
We're Mississippi State guys.
Well, Julian Lewis committed to USC today.
Julian?
Diego, is this you?
The guy, the quarterback we've been trying to get.
Stem.
That was tough.
I guess that episode hasn't aired yet.
Yeah, that's Thursday's episode.
We're going to do that a lot this week.
You shouldn't post any of this, right?
All right, so how long do you – this is a specific amount of time for the world record, right?
Yeah, so you really got to – can you practice fast feet right now?
Is there a grape expert real quick?
Is it?
The most juice extracted from grapes by treading in two minutes.
Treading?
Yeah.
Two minutes.
How do we extract?
There's a little nozzle on the side.
Okay.
I'm going to take a coffee filter and try and pour it into a, like, measuring cup.
All right, yeah, we're actually, we're going to spin a wheel today and see who has to drink it.
We're going to figure it out today.
What does everybody
think?
Stomping like this?
Probably heels.
I think only feet.
I think you've got to
just go, I think you've
just got to go.
Stomp.
You've got to pick it
up and put it down.
Two minutes.
You've got to pick it
up and put it down.
You can't just be
kneading.
You need to be like
engaging your hips and
like getting quick with
it.
So foot in as soon
as you get that off. Now don't put it on the ground.
Wait, wait, wait. That doesn't count.
It doesn't count. Don't do it yet.
It's easy now. That won't count.
He's allowed to step in. He's okay to step in.
Step hard though. Step hard.
Let her get the timer up.
I'm just taking my socks off. You're out of control.
If you need to
take a time out, brother, feel free. If you need to take a time out, brother, feel free.
Push down.
If you need to take a time out, I'm fine.
Push down as you're standing in it.
Hard.
Don't do anything extra, but just push.
I'm in.
Ground yourself.
I'm in.
I'm in.
There you go.
Does it feel weird?
We're waiting on you?
Who's got the timer?
I have the timer.
No, hold on.
TJ's got something like that, too.
So you've got an official timer.
He's got the TV timer.
That's so weird.
Who's sausage is this?
OK. What's up, brother? Do you want anybody here in case you need something? OK. So you got an official timer, he's got the TV timer. Okay.
What's up, brother?
Do you want anybody here in case you...
Okay.
Just let me fall.
Just let me fall.
If I fall, let me fall.
Okay.
Do not pick me up.
You're the yak grapist.
Hold on.
Let's make sure every angle.
All right.
Okay, you ready?
Oh, man, if I got you with your dick out.
With your wiener.
And then you got banned from doing these again.
So three, two, one, go.
Go, Brandon.
Oh, no.
Fast, fast, fast, fast.
Listen to that sound.
Oh, yeah.
In circles.
Yeah, walk in circles.
Get all of it.
Walk in circles.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, you're doing really well.
Shockingly. Oh, fuck. No, go slow. I think you need to go slower circles. Yes, yes, yes. That's it. Yeah, you're doing really well. Shockingly.
Oh, fuck.
No, go slow.
I think you need to go slower.
All right.
Yeah, more purpose.
Yeah, yeah.
More purpose.
But hard, though.
Don't be afraid to go.
Hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, hard.
It's getting very slick under there.
Yeah, that's fine.
Get that corner.
Get the corner behind you.
Get this corner back here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, one foot at a time.
Cotton eyes.
Find it.
Find it.
There you go.
It's slushing up.
Get a rhythm going. I'm going to fall. It's very slick. No, you're fine. You're not eyes, go. Find it. There you go. It's slushing up. Get a rhythm going.
I'm going to fall.
It's very slick.
No, you're fine.
You're not going to fall.
Go harder.
Go harder.
No.
He's not.
Harder.
Go, go, go, Brandon.
Go, Brandon.
How much time?
Two minutes.
Go.
Look at the edges.
You have so many grapes on the edges. Minute 10. You're not even halfway there. I'm in the corner. Yes. Yes. That's the textbook It's two minutes, go! You still have a minute and a half left. Look at the edges! You have so many grapes on the edges.
Minute ten, you're not even halfway there.
I'm in the corner.
Yes! Yes! Come on, engage, engage No, no, no No, go, go There's no second rep of this
Just empty the fucking clip, Brandon
Push it
Yeah, come on
Yeah, no one else is going for this
No
Go, go, go, go
Push, push
Keep going, keep going
Keep stomping
The other one, the other way
40 seconds
Over here
Behind you
Get that left foot
Untouched grape
Untouched grape
Stop, stop
Yes
Don't let any of the liquid get out
Chop, chop
Chop with both feet
Stop with purpose
Chop Get both feet going Come on, you're good let any of the liquid get out. Chop with both feet. Stop with purpose.
Chop.
Get both feet going. Come on, you're good.
Find him.
Find him.
All right, get out of here.
Get the dog out.
Okay.
Get the dog out.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Brandon is very winded.
No, no, go, go, go.
Come on, Brandon.
Come on.
Go, go.
Brandon, you're killing it.
You're stepping in the same spot.
Use my back.
Use my back.
How much time?
How much time?
Use my back.
I'm throwing it back.
12 seconds.
You're losing liquid. Go, Brandon. Push, push, push. Five, four. How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time? How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time?
How much time? He got a lot of juice. That was like just grape juice. Oh, my God. That's a lot of juice. That's a lot of juice.
That's a lot of juice.
Brandon.
You're going to be a lot as an athlete.
He needs a timer.
Can we get a –
He needed a win.
Can we go with the mic and do a post-game interview with him?
Get him on the post-game interview, Roan.
Give him the mic.
Now, do we need to lift this and pour?
Yes.
Let me get a coffee.
Brandon, what the hell is going through your head right now, man?
Let's throw these – Can't talk. You've got great skin all over your feet. before. Brandon, what the hell's going through your head right now, man?
Can't talk. You've got great skin all over your feet.
What did it feel like? What was the sensation?
It was rough out there, you know?
Grapes are bad for your health.
I don't know, man.
What move was working the best for you?
The clockwise stomp.
Yeah.
What are you calling that one? The clockwise stomp. Yeah. Really? What are you calling that one?
The clockwise stomp.
Yeah, it's going to go down in history books.
It's probably like a quarter of a gallon.
Dude, I think he got a shot last time.
He needs a second.
4.47.
The record's four gallons.
How much?
Brandon, the record's 4.47.
You can't catch a win.
I did my best, Sass.
Yeah, you did.
Both here and in the case race. I know, Brandon. As often as the case, your best, Sass. Yeah, you did. Both here and in the case race.
I know, Brandon.
As often as the case, your best is not enough.
How does this keep happening?
How do you keep losing?
I hope I want to drink that.
Well.
Maybe we just all should have a little bit of it.
A toast.
Maybe we toast it.
Oh, my God.
I don't know, man.
It's pretty gross.
I'll drink some.
Well, we'll spin the wheel to see.
Brandon is now taking a walk.
I'm worried about that guy.
Don't put your feet in the pool.
Don't put your feet in the pool.
Like he is.
That was fun.
Why are we out of breath?
Excitement was too much.
I think four gallons would fill up that whole tub.
Do you need us to help lift? Sure. Here, run. watch excitement I think four gallons would fill up that whole tub sure here
oh we're filtering help you don't know that oh what if we like... No, we're not done. Wait. I'm walking by real quick.
No.
Oh, no.
Okay.
No, no, it's fine.
Oops.
We'll have to determine what's...
Now we're going to have to determine what's water and what's grain.
No, that was barely any water.
Okay, lift it.
Yeah.
This way?
I have it.
No, we're not.
Four and a half gallons?
So just roll it up on the spout where that spout is.
Yeah, wait, we got to pinch it in.
Oh, shit.
Pinch it in.
We have like a half a gallon. There we go. Oh, watch over there. We need another set of hands. It's flowing, dude. We would actually be. We need a half a gallon. No, it's. Hey, baby.
This is a pretty big cup. It's so much. It's coming out. Do you know how much is in that cup?
We have to fill that cup up like ten times. I that's like one Yeah there's a lot in the bottom
We have to fill up that cup
It's heavy as fuck
Do we have a cloggage?
Gallons are so big
No
It's still going honestly
What if you guys rested it like up on that ledge?
I think it's going to be too heavy
Here I can help There's like four gallons in there Doesn't look like mine at all up on that ledge. I think it's going to be too big.
Here I can help.
There's like four gallons in there.
It doesn't look like mine at all.
I don't want to lose a drop.
But it's not a lot.
Uh-oh.
There goes some grape.
That's okay.
A couple grapes came in.
Are we full?
Do we need to stop?
Almost.
So what is that?
One gallon?
Yeah, it's got to be one gallon.
I think it's a half. I don't want to lose a drop here.
Okay, should we stop?
Stop, stop.
How big is that?
This is a four-cup measure.
Plug it up.
So we are at...
This is 32 ounces, 1,000 milliliters.
Can I hold it up?
That coloring is...
We need seven more of those?
Look at this.
We need eight more of those.
Oh!
I don't think we have eight more of those.
It's actually nice.
How many liters is that?
That's...
Ew.
It's after he stepped
on it with his feet.
Oh, yeah.
It's nice.
It's not bad.
We need 20 more of these.
You have to try this.
It's nice.
You have to try this.
There's something about
whatever was going on
with his feet.
Something about his fungus
that is giving it a blue cheesy.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, gross.
Taz, you've got to try it.
I'm not Taz.
Try it.
You've got to try it.
Hell no.
Taz, come on.
Yeah, I can't get enough.
Maybe for the baby?
That is so good.
Just pour it on.
Okay, so that's the first gallon.
Yeah, it's like kombucha.
You don't have 20 more of those?
I think it could be in there.
There's still a lot in there.
I don't even think we've seen it.
I don't think so.
I think if we smushed every one of those grapes, we wouldn't have 20 gallons.
Or 20.
How much was it?
It was one liter.
Just below.
Just below one.
Try it, though.
It's good.
Yeah, we all just tried it.
Okay.
We've got to break one record.
It's nice, isn't it?
I don't think those grapes are stomping grapes.
I need another whack.
They almost taste sugary.
Yeah.
I think that's the problem.
I don't think those are stomping grapes.
I think I like that better than grapes.
I like it better than wine.
What do we do with this?
Do you want me to work up the rest of it later?
Just keep it.
I'll keep that in the pond.
Yeah, yeah.
Let it heat up.
Yeah, yeah.
Let it heat up.
Or should we put it on the ice?
We've got a gallon of juice in the drink so far away. In what fucking world it on the ice? A gallon of juice.
We're so far away.
In what fucking world?
Who did four gallons?
4.7.
Besides the respiratory, did it feel good on your toes?
It wasn't bad.
4.7?
From a lady?
So that means we needed 24 more of those.
That was one liter.
The record was 20.3 liters.
I doubt she was in a dog swimming pool.
I think if we squashed every grape and pulverized it,
if we had a blender, I don't think we'd have it.
She probably had a specialized pool that wasn't slick on the bottom.
It's delicious.
It was probably a grippy pool. Yeah.
Okay, well, we got to break something.
Yeah.
A record or just break something?
We could just break something.
What's next, TJ?
You want to break a window in Stu's house?
We could do...
I want to break a record.
I want to break a record.
Most candies eaten in 60 seconds blindfolded using chopsticks.
Okay, I could try that.
We could all try that.
Yeah, we could all try that.
Okay.
I'm not good with chopsticks.
I can't use chopsticks at all.
Can I use chopsticks?
Enough.
What is it, Smarties?
It's chocolate-coated candies.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, of course.
Chocolate discs.
Ooh, they'll be nice and melty today. Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. Somebody should brand those. Feel it.
Oh, they'll be nice and melty today.
So they might be a little crab.
Sash, you've got to try one of these.
I need participation from my boy, Sash.
No, no.
Try one of what?
Challenges.
Why are you talking smack?
This angle is killing me.
Shake it up for Brandon.
I look like I have the largest breast in the world.
Do you want to switch? No, I just need to switch bodies. This is going to send Take it out for Brandon. I look like I have the largest breast in the world. Do you want to switch?
No, I just need to switch bodies.
This is going to send me down a dark path.
This needs to be a standing show.
You want to switch bodies?
I'll switch bodies with you.
It's going to turn me into Karen Carpenter, dude.
I just can't get over how bad my posture is.
All right, I'll try.
One minute.
One minute.
Man, somebody's going to have a lot of editing to do in post with this.
It's going to suck.
There is no post.
It's going to suck when you get this ready for people.
Okay, so I get one minute?
What do you mean when we get this ready for people?
It's ready right now.
It's live.
It's out.
This is it.
What if he scoops?
You didn't know this was live?
I don't know what to say to you guys.
You can't catch a W today.
Sorry.
This is live.
And then we can count down the same way.
Dude.
You want it off a plate or is the bowl good?
This is going to be a problem, guys.
I'm going to say this right now.
Try practice with no blindfold.
You can't get one.
No, there's nothing on there.
You can't scoop. You got to do them one at a time. Oh, I have to? there. You can't scoop.
You've got to do them one at a time.
Oh, I have to?
Oh, you can't scoop?
One at a time.
Oh, shoot.
All right, easy.
Who's making these rules?
What if we did it and you could scoop?
That's the new record.
Scoop out loud.
Oh, you got one.
Yeah.
Dang.
How many does he need in a minute?
21 would be the new record.
Easy.
Oh, 20?
Anyone could do that.
Okay.
I'm ready. Down. Three, two, one. Easy. Oh, 20? Anyone could do that. Okay. I'm ready.
Down, three, two, one, go.
Nope, nothing, nothing.
Yeah, what if we talk him through it like a...
No, none.
No, nothing.
Ten seconds.
Nothing.
No.
No, none.
The sticks are getting a little uneven.
You probably don't need to worry about the time.
Yeah.
I want to go with this.
Who do we think we are?
No.
You don't have any yet.
No.
Huh.
Got one.
Got one.
You got one.
You got one.
Yes.
Eat it.
Bring it to the mouth.
Woo.
One.
20 to go.
It's probably frustrating because you probably really want one.
Yep.
What's he on pace for TGA?
Two Oh you got one
That's impressive
I'm on a roll now
He's getting a feel for it
10 seconds
One more
Yeah he has only yellow
Oh you got one
No One more. He's gonna eat the yellow ones. Yep. Yeah, he has only eaten yellow. Oh, you got one.
You got one.
No!
All right.
We all should try this. Yeah, this is doable.
Damn it!
This is doable.
I felt it coming out of the fucking thing, too.
The person who gets the least has to do a shot of foot grape.
Okay.
Didn't we already do a shot of foot grape?
It's a hot ass day. That's a treat. That's a treat. It's a hot ass day.
That's a treat, my friend.
I'm up.
Your culture does.
I'm terrible with chopsticks.
It's so hard, dude.
It's so hard.
It's so fucking hard.
Put the blindfold over your
It's a very funny visual,
I would assume.
It's got to be extra dark.
It's super dark.
Okay.
There is an easy way
to cheat on this one, though.
What?
There is?
Well, what is it?
How?
Sticky chopsticks.
Oh.
Do we have any sticky chopsticks?
You're ready, Rowan.
I feel strong about this one.
Okay, ready?
Ready?
Okay, so three, two, one, go.
Oh, yeah, one.
Oh!
He already had that one loaded.
Interesting pincer technique.
I just don't think he knows what he's doing.
Very interesting chopstick work there.
Yeah, I've never seen...
You got this, Rowan.
I've never...
Yeah!
Yeah!
Only 19 more to go.
Time.
Got it?
You have 37 seconds.
Woo!
Come on, Rowan.
You're a fucking speed demon right now, bro.
Plenty of time.
Uh-oh.
Oh, you got it.
Three.
Wait, did you just get faster than I got?
There you go.
I got one.
Four.
Damn.
Five.
Holy shit.
He's a monster.
You have 10 seconds. Damn! Holy shit! He's a monster. You got it.
You got this.
You're going away from your fundamentals.
I'm panicking.
I think the best part about this
challenge is before
we set up to do the show,
there was some bags of these nondescript candies.
And I started eating them.
And someone was like, you were like, yeah, don't eat too many.
We need them.
We don't need anything.
You could have had 20.
You could have had six of them for all of us.
I like it.
I mean, it's confidence in us.
It's unfounded confidence. It's cool under the blindfold. I know. Oh, is like it. I mean, it is. It's confidence in us. It's unfounded confidence.
It's nice and cool under the blindfold.
I know.
Oh, is it cooling?
Yeah, it is cooling.
It's cool.
It cools me down.
All right, Nick, you got this.
I don't know if I do.
No, Nick, you're blind.
I'm doing solo commentary right now.
I guess I'll shut the fuck up.
Sit and watch.
Just hoping your feet get swarmed by bees soon.
I don't know if I can do it.
What's your technique here?
You wash them off.
In the pool.
Oh. Nice. Kiss them. Oh, I didn't even realize you don't have the I can do it. What's your technique here? You wash them off. In the pool. Oh.
Nice.
Kiss them.
Oh, I didn't even realize you don't have the blindfold on.
Okay.
I thought you were doing that one.
It sounds confident.
Okay, Nick.
All right, just lead me to the bowl.
Am I over it?
Three.
Oh, okay.
So three, two, one, go.
Let's go, Nick.
Oh, no, no. Let's go, Nick. Oh, no, no.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh.
No.
Oh.
No.
No.
No.
Oh, no.
Fuck.
No.
You were close.
No, no, no, no.
There's one.
To you guys who have done it, does using the edge of the bowl help?
Going deeper into the pile helped me.
Yeah.
It's like, yes, you had one.
Oh, no, it's gone.
It's gone.
What the fuck?
I like how Kate, you're asking for my advice when I got shit.
Well, it's still better than...
It's only got to
be chopsticks.
Chapsix.
No.
Come on, Nick.
You got to get one.
Don't get goosed, Nick.
Don't get goosed.
He's going to get goosed.
How much time?
You got to run
naked around the house.
Nine, eight.
No.
Seven.
No.
Five, four, three, two, one.
No.
Fuck!
Goddamn, Nick. No. Fuck! God damn, man.
Dude.
Zero wasted.
I don't like anime.
I don't like Pokemon.
I don't.
I'm a phony.
Take his Japanese card.
I brought great dishonor somewhere.
To Che.
Fuck, man.
That was so embarrassing.
How'd you get five?
That's impressive.
I think I just went deep in the bowl what was my total count uh my team yes they're slippery as hell i know
but that's what if i was going deeper to like pinch in for multiples and just whichever one you get
you got to be really good with the chopsticks To be able to do this
Alright Sass
Let's do it
Hold on I'm trying to get the technique down
It's probably a dude who could do this easily
And then he's like I'll just put it on a blindfold and do it
Probably yeah
Actually I should try to get 20 without the blindfold
I don't think I could
I don't think I could do that either
I can't even get one
Alright Sass is going to go
no blindfold. Here we go.
No blindfold, Sass. No, no.
I want to go blindfold.
I'm not going to not do the... See how fast
how many you can get without the blindfold. Alright.
Ready? Yeah.
Set. Go.
One. One.
One, okay.
There he goes.
He's like a surgeon.
He's a speed demon.
Touched for the very first time.
Two.
Two.
You are running now.
Three.
Let's go, Sass.
Four.
Five.
Holy shit, he's going to do it.
I didn't know this was an option.
He's just picking things up.
Hey, you're still not doing well.
It's hard.
They slip right out.
Are we sure we're using the right candies?
Because these have a glaze on them.
Your eyes are open, dude.
Quit bitching.
Alright, let me do it. I'm done. Let me do it.
Alright. He got four.
Can you beat four blindfolds?
Why is this soaking wet? It's cold.
No, I sweat. Oh, okay.
I pissed it.
Going over the glasses.
When you're ready.
Come on, Sass. Okay.
Be a legend, Sass, one time.
Ow.
Fuck. What? The goggles hurt.
I'm jamming into my eyes.
Your sunglasses.
Alright, ready? Yeah.
Where are my weapons? Wait, your sunglasses. All right, ready? Yeah. Where are my weapons?
I'll cut you down.
Wait, hold on, I'm not ready.
Put above, go above.
Okay.
Right.
All right, you're right up over there.
Now lift up.
Yeah, move it.
Okay, so three, two, one, go.
You got one.
You got one.
One.
Lost the bowl left.
No, no, no.
You're in the table.
Left.
Why are you moving the bowl?
You got one.
He already beat me.
Two.
Two.
You got it.
Two.
Come out.
You got one.
Oh, no.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Two. Oh, you got it. Two. Come out. Oh, no. Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, there you go.
Two.
Oh, he's good.
He's better blindfolded.
Go try to go vertical down.
Yeah, Rowan was good.
Oh, you had it.
Three.
No.
No, no, go back in.
Go back in. What is this? Two this two finer.com oh hell yeah two finer
yes sass there you go four thank you three that was three
so ten nine eight seven yes yes yes he's the best again again five one yeah Eight, seven, six, four, five, four, three, two, one, time.
That was pretty good, Seth.
Yeah, you're pretty good.
You're pretty good.
How many was that?
If I didn't pull the pull, you would have broken the record.
All right, Kate.
Go on your lid.
Give it a shot.
Go on your Stu Feiner and friends lid.
Brandon, I think, is officially in trouble with the sun.
Oh, where'd he go?
Big cat, XL.
Sitting in the shade somewhere.
Okay.
Maybe double.
Double XL.
Okay, tell me when.
Oh, wait.
XL.
Do you want to practice more?
Get a couple practices in, Kate.
See, that's XL.
I have one double.
Are we allowed to use two hands?
No.
Probably.
But that might not be as effective.
I'm just going to go first.
Okay.
Count you and Kate.
Okay.
So three, two, one, go.
One.
One.
Holy shit, Kate.
No.
No.
No.
Dang.
No.
Are you sure?
No.
No. What is this? No. No.
What is this?
No.
I don't know.
Finesse, finesse.
Come on, Keith.
Sure.
No.
No?
Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, you're two.
Nice and steady.
Oh, my God.
Thank you, friend.
Come on, Keith.
You got another one in you.
Perfect.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Three. Yes, friend. Come on, Kate. You got another one in you. Perfect. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Three.
Yes, yes.
Again.
She's kind of got a rhythm.
Yes, yes.
Oh, wait.
Oh, wait.
They're crushing.
It's stuck.
It's melting.
What is on them?
Oh, that's.
Yeah, just eat it off the top stick.
Yeah, suck down.
Three and a half.
Oh, go, go.
Six.
Holy shit.
Yes.
Seven.
Yeah, you all. Yes Keep going
That was good that was good Kate
Brandon where are you damn good Kate?
Sure you want to try cuz Brandon's gone no
Come on. I give you a shot. I couldn't do that
if my life was on the line. I couldn't do it with
a low mane.
Totally low mane. Bear.
Brandon.
Where is he? Yeah, where is he?
Where is he?
Jesus Christ. I can't tell.
He's in the pool.
He's in the pool?
He looks like he just died.
Is he dead?
Push him in.
All right, what's next?
And then we'll do a belly flop contest.
I want to do the spin the bottle way.
Yeah, yeah, let's spin the bottle.
Brandon has to participate in that, though.
He has to.
Yes.
So if it points at you, you have to run, and everybody throws eggs at you?
No, I think if you get it.
You get it, you throw the egg.
Oh, everybody run.
Everybody run.
Yeah, so fun.
We have two left.
Two left, okay.
Fastest time to place 24 high noon cans into a fridge.
Okay.
And fastest time to unravel toilet paper with one hand.
Oh, I like that.
I like the toilet paper.
All right, let's do the toilet paper, then we'll finish with the high note.
Okay.
I like that.
And then we'll get into some more fun for the people.
Brandon is struggling.
All right, we got the toilet paper.
What's the record here?
Oh, boy.
The record is 9.8 seconds.
It is 9.8 seconds.
What?
And you can only use one hand?
Yeah.
Does someone hold it? Yeah, you can do it with someone holding it, or, like, I can only use one hand? Yeah. Does someone hold it?
Yeah, you can do it with someone holding it
or, like, I can hold it for y'all.
Do you think just...
Nick, you try first. Okay.
Do we have bonus toilet papers? Yes, we have a bunch.
Okay, wait.
Wait, can I unglue? Yes.
Okay. Okay.
And what are you just going to go pop, pop, pop? One hand.
Just smack it. So you don't hit the chair.
Okay, you ready?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
Do we have a good camera angle?
Wait, your back's to the camera, Nick.
I'm going to use my right hand.
Wait, no.
So swing all the way around here.
Swing.
Oh, turn to go this way.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I think I'm going to do.
Just don't smack it out of her head.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
You ready?
Let's go, Nick. Come on, Nick. Okay. Let's go, Nick.
Come on, Nick.
Three, two, one, go.
Yes!
Yes!
Fuck!
Oh!
Damn it.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Use the second hand!
No!
It's thin ply.
How much time do I have?
It's 12 seconds.
They're over the... Oh, no!
I'm having a ton of fun, though.
Good. It's 12 seconds. They're over the... Oh, no. I'm having a ton of fun, though. Go, go.
Push yourself, Nick.
Like every cat's dream.
What ply did the record user hold?
It had to have been a bigger ply.
Three ply.
I'm going like a square at a time now.
This isn't a regular shit for Sam.
All right, all right.
I'm not even halfway.
Do you have to stand stationary?
No, I don't think so.
I think Nick just made it harder on himself.
Run?
Yes! Yes, Nick!
Go, go, go! Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Oh, it broke, it broke! You gotta run back! Yes Yes Oh It broke
It broke
You gotta run back
Oh fuck
Finish it
Finish strong Nick
Get back
Finish strong
No no no
It's broken back here
Fuck
It's not even
Just run again.
Run again.
Run again.
Yes.
Yeah.
Time.
1.26.
All right.
That was so good.
Good job.
That was so fast.
What's the record?
Nine seconds.
That was so much fun. Nine seconds. That was so fast. What's the record? Nine seconds. That was so much fun.
Nine seconds.
That was so close.
Dude, who knew that breaking world records was so hard?
I thought this would be so easy.
So easy.
Stacking the CDs is doable.
Yeah, maybe we'll go back to that.
Nine seconds is like, it had to have been two ply.
How far was that?
About three miles.
Yeah.
So is someone else trying that record now?
There's more toilet paper.
Who wants to go?
Sass?
I'll go.
Sass?
Anyone else want to go?
I don't care.
All right, Sass, you're up.
You going to run with it?
Hell no.
You can only use one hand.
I'm not going to be able to get that far in nine seconds.
You can only use one hand?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to go with my typical.
What's that?
What about smack and drop?
What's that?
Walk us through it.
Walk us through your technique.
I roll it around my hand.
Oh.
Oh, bat the thing, not the.
I go like this.
And then it wraps around my hand.
And then you just go like that? And then it wraps around my hand. And then you just go like that?
Then I go...
You do a mummy on your hand?
Yeah, what do you do?
I, like, grab a bunch and...
ball it up.
That's crazy.
My hand's fully covered.
But I'm going like this.
All exposed? It's probably all in your fingernails. But I'm going like this. All exposed?
It's probably all in your fingernails.
Let me see your fingernails.
Is there shit?
Oh.
Oh.
So much shit in them.
What'd you smell?
Shit.
Wait, so fast.
You're going from underhanded, correct?
No, I switch it up a lot.
How did you go, Nick?
Underhand or overhanded?
It was under, right?
Under.
I gotta go like this.
I gotta simulate like I'm on my toilet. Okay. Would it be better if you shit? Nick underhand or overhanded? It was under, right? Under. I got to go like this. I got to,
I got to like simulate like I'm on my toilet.
Okay.
Would it be better if you shit?
If I'm hanging down,
it means it means it's a big difference.
If this is this way or if this is this way,
no,
it needs to be over.
Overhanded.
Yeah.
Let me unglue.
Can I show you what the record attempt was?
Cause it's nothing close to this.
What is it?
He's holding the roll.
Wait, you're showing him?
Yeah, sorry, bro.
Should have asked.
He's definitely not running right off the bat, seeing that.
He's basically holding the roll and swinging the roll to unroll it.
It's on the screen.
Oh.
Oh.
That's amazing. Oh. Oh.
That's amazing.
Oh, shit.
That was nine seconds?
I don't know if that's the current record, but...
That was a tiny roll.
Oh, he's swinging the roll?
That wasn't even close to the size of our roll.
Yeah, this is a standard roll.
He used a children's roll.
So I just set the world record for a standard roll
while running in Stu Feiner's backyard.
Yes. Easy enough. All right, Chaz, you ready? Yeah, that guy record for a... Yes....stand and roll while running in Stu Feiner's backyard. Yes.
Easy enough.
All right, Chaz, you ready?
Yeah, that guy must have a small ass.
Oh, I'm not going to do that.
Yeah, small toilet paper means small ass.
Okay, ready?
I just got to go like that?
Well, do whatever you want to do.
I think you've got to do it the other way.
Why?
I think you were going the wrong way.
Yeah, you're just going to make it tighter.
Yeah, there you go.
No, no, I'm not ready. I don't know what I'm doing, though.
I don't know if I really approve of this method, to be fully honest.
Well, you're the one who gets to decide it.
Yeah, it's yours. You can do whatever you want.
You could have a second try, too, Shaz,
if you don't like the method.
Do you wanna Google right now how to dislodge
toilet paper?
No, I'm locked in. I think this video would come up
first.
What if I just poke the, what if I just push down
and the roll just comes, pops out?
I guess it counts.
Yeah, try it.
Yeah, try it.
Is that against the rules?
No, try it.
It's not unraveling it.
It doesn't matter as long as it's off.
But is it gonna, does it even have any give?
It's probably, there's an adhesive to it.
I don't know.
I'll do the regular way.
Okay, ready?
Okay, ready?
Three, two, one, go.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Keep going.
Oh, no.
It's tightening back up.
It's wound back up.
This is stupid.
Well, that's that.
Yeah, it's all finished.
It tightened up. All right, I'll try.
Can you put it back on the thing?
Yeah, well, I want to do it when it's on the thing.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Do it on the thing.
Oh, the clothes hanger?
Clothes hanger, yeah, yeah.
Put it on the clothes hanger.
Wait a minute.
How did you get it on the clothes hanger?
How did you get it off the clothes?
Oh, sorcery.
Oh, my goodness.
Sorcery.
Thank you. Brilliant. All right, big guy. This is an illusion. it off the clothes oh sorcery oh my goodness sorcery thank you
we're live right now come on in sim kennedy what's going on man tom kennedy
we've we've done both what's going on dude detroit was awesome
yeah i broke my collarbone the first couple days in Kansas.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Damn.
Good to see you, bro.
You see Frank's here?
Yeah.
Better be careful.
I'm not with the team anymore.
Yeah, that's true.
Frank roasted him.
Yeah, caught.
How many touchdowns
last year?
None.
No, you had...
You may catch
against the Bears.
Would you catch a touchdown in the preseason he's a legend though beast absolute legend beast maybe he could probably unravel some toilet paper bass tom tom kennedy legend
sure one of those jokes that we made we're like tim, and then I just forgot it. But Tom Kennedy's a legend.
Detroit Lion, all grit team, Farmingale.
Daler.
Daler.
How many touchdowns did you have in high school, Tom?
10.
Wow, that's one year.
Big deal.
Fucking beast. Unreal. That's the year. Big deal. Fucking beast.
Unreal.
That's the cameos you get at Stu's house.
I love that.
This place is the best.
All right, Sass.
All right, ready?
Ready.
I can't remember.
I fucked up his name.
We said Tim and then...
Fine.
We'll put it in post.
Go, go, go.
Sass.
There you go.
Yes.
Oh, he's got the roll going.
Go, Sass. Go, Sass. Go. He's got the roll going. Go, Sass.
Go, Sass.
Go.
Roll back.
He's got this.
It goes so fast.
That's very shitter.
Oh, you're right.
Stay on point.
Stay on point.
Stay on point.
He's getting reed.
He's about to say this is the dumbest thing ever.
It is.
And that he doesn't want to do this show.
It's so much fun.
Now it's re-spooling.
It's re-spooling.
It's so lame.
It is.
This sucks. I hate this. Run with's respooling. It's so lame. It is. This sucks.
Run with it, Sass.
Go run with it.
No, you're doing good.
Run with it.
It's amazing.
You're doing good.
Run with it, Sass.
Is it over nine seconds?
This drone is not the one
No, no, finish that.
Finish.
Did you actually ask
if it's over nine seconds?
I was like,
a minute.
I have a question.
Are we allowed to use
another object as long as we're only using one hand? I'm going to say yes because the we allowed to use another object?
Like, as long as we're only using one hand?
I'm going to say yes, because the guy didn't use any object.
Okay.
I think I have, like, a...
Like a power drill?
Wait, no.
Brandon, or somebody.
I need a volunteer.
Sass?
Brandon.
Yeah, Brandon.
Brandon?
Where's Brandon?
He can sit in the shade right here.
Brandon!
Where the fuck did Brandon go?
Brandon, get your ass on camera.
We fought like hell to get this guy on this show.
I know.
Everything we could.
So we could sit by the pool.
And the last one we're going to do is the high noons into a fridge.
Maybe, Ron, you try to do that.
Of course.
And then we'll have some fun.
Kate, I'll just be your volunteer.
You can be the volunteer.
Okay.
Need the toilet paper.
So we don't have to wait for Brandon's tardy ass.
What's tardy short for?
Time.
I'm having fun.
Oh, I don't know why I was thinking mouth.
I'm hungover.
My stomach feels like it's going to explode.
Is that allowed?
Can I have him hold
i can't say yeah everybody's good anybody so i'm gonna be going around your head
why because it gives me like a swirl oh you're right you're gonna mummify him
yeah i love it so i think i want to go this way okay and i gotta get my hand in there
brandon's in the pool this makes sense wait. Wait. Yeah, there you go. And then I go.
No, other way.
Other way.
Yeah.
Okay, tell me when.
Okay, three, two, one, go.
So far, so good.
Oh, shit.
Crap.
That's your second hand.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Is that your hand? Is that mine?
No, it's mine.
Yep.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I'm not at nine seconds, am I?
No, not yet.
That dude cheated or something. Had to have cheated.
I thought it was a good strategy.
It was.
You know what I mean?
Something that you can, like, spindle around, I thought, would be helpful.
Nick's was the best strategy. Yeah. It was. You know what I mean? Something that you can like spindle around, I thought, would be helpful. Nix was the best strategy. Yeah.
Just running. Well, did you see the smile on my face?
It looks awesome. It was worth it. Just, you want to run?
Yeah, I'm running. Let me just run real quick.
Slow. No!
Woo-hoo! Wow!
Oh, wait. This is working really well.
Yeah, it is. Look how smooth.
Straight line.
This is how much goes into your ass and i swear i go through a
roll every other day go go go go go go go keep going he's in the bushes how's this not
keep going
go oh around the gazebo, maybe.
It's ripped.
Diego, your feet.
Ew, dude.
Oh, yuck.
That was a lot of fun.
He looks majestic.
It looks awesome.
The way it flows on him.
I got to see Frank running through with the toilet paper behind him in slow motion.
Brandon, let's go.
Is Brandon in the pool?
I don't know.
Kind of warm about him.
I'm out of shape.
Whoa, bless you.
I'm very out of shape. Whoa, bless you. I'm very out of shape.
I'm out of shape, I think.
You almost had it.
You just ran out of real estate.
If you had been able to keep going straight.
I don't feel like I almost had it.
If only Stu had bought those acres behind you.
All right, last one.
All right. Nick, why don't you do this last one? Let's win this one. All right, last one. All right.
Nick, why don't you do this last one?
Let's win this one.
And then we'll play the egg game, and then we'll do a belly flop contest.
Let's win it.
For all the chat to decide.
Yeah.
What if Brandon beat you in the belly flop?
I don't think he'll sell out enough.
He might just die midair.
It's true.
I don't think he'll sell out enough, though.
He doesn't sell out enough. No, not at all.
You gotta really sell out.
Totally.
Yeah.
The last record is fastest time
to place 24 high noon cans into a fridge.
Cans must be intact unopened.
Okay, I'm ready.
It must begin with the door closed.
If any cans fall over,
What fridge are we in?
that attempt is invalid.
There's a fridge in the garage over there in the mudroom.
All right.
You ready, Rowan?
Yes.
You got this.
Do you need me to do anything?
How fast do you have to do it?
Just be there for me.
Be there for you?
I can do that.
I'll be there for you, too.
We're going to break the record of high noons in a fridge.
24.
Oh, thank you, Stu.
Okay, great.
I need a cum towel.
He has cum towels.
That's perfect.
The record is 5.78 seconds.
I am out of shape.
You had it if you just...
No, I'm out of shape, boys.
I think it's in the...
Oh.
5.78.
5.78. How we Oh. 5.78.
How we doing?
5.78.
What's going on?
These are the 24 hands.
Here is the fridge.
Everything needs to be in,
not broken, and the fridge still needs to close.
If any cans fall over or end up broken or dented during the process,
the attempt is invalid.
Wait, let me just see real quick.
It's tough because it's a left-handed bridge.
It is a left-handed bridge.
Okay, you ready?
I've got to get a better view.
Set, stop.
Close, close, close.
Set, time.
Yeah, that was like 90 seconds.
Wow!
90 seconds?
That's what?
0.9.
0.9 seconds.
Is that it?
No, but you have to do them individually.
Individually.
But you could do like four at a time.
Yeah, that'd be fine.
One at a time.
Where'd they go?
Wait, one at a time?
Yeah.
The guy was doing three at a time.
Remember the...
Are ya?
Wait, the guy was doing...
He went in and just slid.
Thank you.
No, I thought the guy was picking up three like...
Yeah, he was going three at a time with his hands.
Wait, so what's the...
Do as many as your hands can hold.
Oh, okay.
You can do the entire case in one go.
He had it in sets of three.
Like, he had his...
You can separate them on the floor
as however you would like to prep them for yourself.
Oh, good call, Ron.
Ron, try to grab those three.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
No, you got it.
You also should just toss some in here.
But they all have to be standing.
Oh, fuck.
Hey, Brando.
What's the time?
5.78.
5.78.
You look like you're all right.
I'm feeling good.
Good.
Head?
Huh?
Migraine?
I don't need a head right now.
No, no.
All right.
I got to do twos.
And I'm not going to be fast.
Run the guy that...
Is it one-handed?
The guy that set the record did threes.
I know, I'm not getting the threes.
No, you don't have to do it with hands.
So maybe do two hands of four, Ron.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't be sorry.
I was just talking to you.
Oh, I gotta close it.
Fuck.
Yes.
And you can't have, if any, fall over or get dented, it becomes a talent attempt.
Let me know when you're ready.
So they got to be far enough apart from each other that I can grab them clean.
Hey, Brandon.
I'm definitely going to get this.
Yeah.
I have everything and all of that.
Thank you.
Why do you let all the candies go?
I knew you guys would do it.
We will, eventually, one day.
Are the Mets even playing today?
Frank's yelling about something.
Not Frank. Dolphins preseason. What could Frank's yelling about something. Not Frank.
Dolphins preseason.
What could he be yelling about?
I don't know.
Dolphins are good, though.
Are they?
Ready?
Should be.
Do you want me to count you in?
Yeah.
Okay.
Three, two, one, time.
Did you win it?
18.0.
Oh, fuck.
We are just losers.
That's what today taught us.
We're fucking losers.
Also, all of these records were on, like, list of easiest world records to break.
Oh, God damn.
I thought I had that.
We suck.
We suck.
I feel like such a freaking loser.
All right.
Let's do the egg game. Didn't do well. Oh, like such a freak. All right. Let's do the egg game.
Didn't do well.
Oh, that's a shame.
I feel like a freaking loser.
Yeah, I feel like such a loser.
I'm really excited for the egg game.
I'm not going to say I predicted this outcome, but.
Oh, it's so easy to be a Monday morning quarterback.
All right.
You ready to play the egg game?
Yes.
Kate, you might.
Do you want to do it, Kate?
Yes, I do.
If you fall?
That's okay.
Okay.
No, it's not.
Human body's resilient.
Are we going to get hit by eggs?
Maybe if the bottle lands on you.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
I thought if it lands on you, you've got to throw the eggs.
You're the thrower.
Yeah, you throw it if it lands on you.
You've got a serpentine pattern.
We should have it running that way so we can have the camera behind the thrower.
All right, so run that way.
What?
Run that way.
Yeah.
So spin it.
Spin it.
And whoever it points at.
You get one egg.
Are you, okay, and are you out if you get hit?
You're out if you get hit.
I just want to be a thrower so bad.
Yeah, I don't want to get hit.
I've got to fly.
I've always wanted to do this.
I've got to get on a plane.
Go put on a Stu Feiner shirt.
You have two shirts on right now.
I also have a bag of clothes.
Evil laugh, dude.
Okay, so make sure we get, TJ, make sure we get a camera video of it, too.
It's so dummy viral.
Brandon, you got to stay.
Lunch.
Lunch time.
Come get it.
Can you come behind here?
We're running this way.
Just do a natural, just a regular.
All right, and so you get one egg.
I just put four out.
Yes.
Whoever points that is the thrower. You get one egg. One egg to throw. You only get one egg to throw? Only get one egg. I just put four out. Yes. Whoever points that is the thrower.
You get one egg.
One egg to throw.
You only get one egg to throw?
Only get one egg to throw.
Okay.
Okay.
Ready?
Wait, wait, wait.
How are you doing?
When you say the point, the point.
That's going to blow up.
It's the top end.
No, no, no.
Spin on the ground.
Yeah, spin on the ground.
Wait.
Okay.
How long?
No, no, no.
Don't drop it.
Just spin it on the ground.
Spin it.
I can just go like that.
Okay, here we go.
It's the top end.
Three, two, one.
Oh, fuck!
You missed, you missed.
Didn't even break, are these hard-boiled eggs?
This is scary.
Are these hard-boiled eggs?
So scary.
He threw it so hard.
Damn it.
I air-mailed it. Hit the dog. I air-mailed it. You air-mailed? I He threw it so hard. Damn it. I air mailed it.
Hit the dog.
I air mailed it.
You air mailed?
I just threw it.
I was gone with the wind.
Right over Brandon's head.
Right over Brandon's head.
Just completely disappointing.
Sass, you've got to spin it this time.
Diego is in such a dangerous position.
This ends with Diego getting hit in the face.
You were literally set up like a spinner.
You decided you wanted to be the spinner.
I was waiting for it. Yeah. I was waiting for it.
Yeah, I'm just really well.
Why don't we just have someone else spin?
No, everyone should have to be like in.
It's only fun if we're all like circled in, right?
All right.
Because then you have a chance.
No.
Ah!
It just makes me giggle. I you giggle.
I just giggled.
That fucking...
There's that brief second where you have to wait to see if it's you.
I should have...
Oh, man.
Most of my body's moved in fucking two years.
The runaway noises are so...
Childlike whimper.
I have a question.
Does the thrower have to be stationary
or can he chase after him too?
No, he's stationary.
Okay.
Someone can spin?
All right, Brendan, you're spinning now.
I can't.
Maybe we spin on the plate.
I bet you it would spin better on the plate.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, it's true.
Yep.
See, just if it does, yeah.
No, it doesn't.
No, no.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know.
All right, someone else has to spin this time.
Wait, put it near the egg so you can do a quick reach when you know.
Yeah.
Oh, I fucking missed again.
Oh, I thought you got it.
This is demoralizing.
We ran a pick route.
Yeah.
Can we get some more eggs?
I keep missing
Is that your third?
Or second?
I'm trying to throw too hard
Can we grab some more eggs?
Fuck
It's fun
This is so fun
It's so fun
You gotta spin now
Go until someone gets
Body by an egg
Oh yeah My aim was so bad Alright It's so fun. Sash, you gotta spin now. Go until someone gets bodied by an egg. I'm like way too fast to camera.
Oh, yeah.
My aim was so bad.
All right.
Sash, you're spinning?
Did it spin better?
Yeah, a little bit better.
No, what are you doing out of this, man?
Spin as hard as I can.
Nah, listen.
Spin as hard as you can.
Okay.
I'm not going to point out how hard Brandon's breathing.
I mean, we all know how hard I'm breathing.
Every joint in my body felt like it just fucking...
Every movement, they're screaming.
I have outrun everybody every time, though.
I just want to point that out.
You're starting going.
And you're refusing to spin it.
All right, that's good.
Shit, thanks.
You can't spin.
Just blindly trusting that no one's going to throw.
No touchy.
I'll spin it.
Ready?
Got him.
Oh, shit. No! that no one's gonna know. I'll spin it. Ready? Got him!
Yes!
Get him!
Yes!
Yes!
Ready to get him.
Yes!
Right in the head.
In the head?
Right in the head.
Oh no!
He got shell on his ear!
He got shell on his ear.
He got shell on his ear.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to hit.
Okay.
That was awesome.
Yeah, dude.
We're surrounded by cameras.
True.
That's true.
Why are you throwing it at my head?
All right, so keep going.
That was a great angle, too.
I'm watching it back.
Let me see.
So, I'm out. Look at this. Wait. What do you mean, I'm out? Why can't I go back? Yeah, go back. Let me see. So I'm out.
Look at this.
What do you mean I'm out?
Why can't I go back?
You can't go back on live?
No, you can't.
All right, so Brandon's out.
Oh, Brandon's out.
The egg splatter on that was so good.
So good.
Sniped him.
All right, Brandon's out.
Brandon looks like he was in an 80s band.
I could play this game all day.
Holy shit.
That was great.
Shaz?
I don't want to stand where I'm standing
because it feels like it always goes to me.
I don't want to hog all.
I'll spin right now.
All right, I'll stand here. Ready like it always goes to me. I don't want to hog all. I'll spin right now. All right.
I'll stand here.
Okay.
Ready?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
One second.
One second.
Here we go.
Good?
Oh, no! Holy shit! Oh no
Holy shit
That whizzed by my head
I'm like 1 for 5
God damn it
I have to just take my time
The problem is I just fucking go so fast
Stop throwing it at people's heads
That's the whole point of the game idiot
The head?
Fuck Alright Stop throwing it at people's heads! That's the whole point of the game, idiot! The head? Fuck!
Alright.
Alright.
Somebody said
if you get it again, you should just throw it up right here.
Yes, yes, I will, I will, I will.
Yeah. We ready?
Attacking the dog. Yeah, you want me to...
Alright, wait, let's sprint. I think...
Alright. Maybe it's because I think... All right. All right.
Maybe it's because I'm standing in the farthest space.
Fuck.
Shit.
Oh, no.
I tried to zigzag.
Fuck. Jeez.
Ow.
Is it everywhere?
Oh, no.
That hurts.
No, it's not.
It's actually not that bad.
Oh.
That fucking hurt, dude.
I think it's because you guys are all in running stances.
I'm just standing with my hands on my knees with a wide stance.
That's why I'm getting the most spins.
They're tall.
Now it's just four of us.
Sass, it's not that bad.
You can probably let it go.
It's everywhere.
I can feel it.
It's not that bad.
It's everywhere.
No, dude.
That's not that bad.
That's not that bad at all. Who's spinning? dude, it's not that bad. It's not that bad at all.
Who's spinning?
Who's spinning?
Okay.
Do you want me to spin?
Go for it.
I just...
All right, yeah.
All right.
Oh, fuck.
Ah, fuck!
His leg didn't even break.
Rowan's leg didn't even break.
Huh?
I dove, so he couldn't hit me.
I got a late start.
Arya. Arya.
Should've taken my time.
SasSing is it everywhere.
I mean it is.
Wait but after Brandon got hit in the head, SasSed did someone get that on video?
There's 20 cameras.
Like instead of just taking his shirt off
cause he has layers on,
he's just trying to wipe it with a towel,
which I don't understand.
Gonna rub it in.
Oh, is it gone?
Yeah.
Is it?
All right.
Now, all spins?
No, maybe we do need those last two eggs.
Oh shit.
Oh, you missed me hey
did you throw one too
yeah I threw one at Kate
you missed me
did you hit Kate
no
my new plan is to like
turn around
I had this blind trust
that no one would hit me
with an egg
but now I know
that was a true standoff
yeah it's gotta happen
I didn't know
it was about to happen.
All right.
That one was a dud.
Spit again.
You guys even see it?
Ron and I both went in between us.
All right.
Hold on.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, Keith!
Oh, I hit him, but it didn't break.
It didn't break.
You hit him, but it didn't break.
It's bouncy thighs. I hit him, but it didn't break. It didn't break. You hit him, but it didn't break. It's bouncy thighs.
I hit him, but it didn't break.
It bounced right, like, off his thighs and went right into the grass.
Does that count?
It doesn't count, right?
Am I still in?
I think I hit him, but it didn't break.
You're so good.
Shit.
Good throw.
Accurate throw.
You guys are faster than I am.
You guys lied.
I'm not.
You would think.
What? Covered an egg. No, you're not. No, you're not. It's everywhere. It Accurate throw. You guys are faster than I then. You guys live? I'm not. You would think.
What?
Covered an egg.
No you're not.
No you're not.
It's everywhere.
It barely hit you.
It barely hit your thumb.
Ready?
I took a video.
My whole back is egg.
Oh, oh, oh.
What the fuck?
Really bad throw.
I had nothing but bad throws.
If you want to sub me in to throw for you.
Yeah, I might have to.
It's thrilling that moment where you're like here comes an egg. Yeah, you never know
Did rune get got? No, I threw it. I missed big cat. I'm happy you guys are finding
It's not as easy as possible
All right, who's spinning? I need to get in shape. Yeah, oh my god. Jesus.
Oh!
Got him.
Got him.
Phew.
Alright.
She got me.
Okay.
Wide cat.
Crazy target.
And there were three.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy Okay. Wide cat.
And there were three.
Holy shit.
No, she got me right here on the side.
A little crack.
It kind of exploded off.
Probably the easiest hit ever.
Same thing that happened to Sass.
Yeah.
Sass, you and I, we both got a ton on us.
Look at this.
Look at how much.
You have a dick on you.
I know how Sass feels.
No, no.
You got the
right angles right here that's where i got hit the row back so much so many bees in this yard
yes fuck what the bees oh okay right there oh oh no i'm getting more and more wind i made it this far. Okay. I want to throw one. I know.
It's a great feeling.
I'll tell you that much.
Frank's yelling.
Count me out, Tom.
14 days in a row.
All right, who's spinning?
I'm going to spin it.
Ready?
Is it me?
Who is it?
Me?
What?
I didn't break!
I didn't break!
I didn't break! I didn't break!
Oh, no!
The camera's burned.
Oh, fuck.
Friendly fire. I thought it was on me.
Friendly fire.
How did neither of us break?
I thought it was so hard.
I just smoked my shoulder.
He had it coming, though.
Broke on him.
Out.
Camera's off.
Sorry, Jason.
He's a lib.
Sorry, brother.
Should we put a limit on how far you can run?
Yeah.
All right, I'll stand out here.
You can't pass me.
There's only three left.
Oh, there's six left.
No, people.
Oh, got it.
Let's do a free-for-all.
Hands on is the runner and the other two are the runners.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
I like that.
I like that.
Hands on you, you run.
All right.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
No, you run, Kate.
Oh, fuck.
Get her.
She's already.
Oh.
All right, come back.
That was a good idea.
It's a good twist.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's nerve-wracking as hell.
Wait, wait.
Say it again.
If it lands on you, you run.
You run if it lands on you.
If it lands on you, you run.
Fuck. Whoa, shit it again. If it lands on you, you run. If it lands on you, you run. Fuck.
Whoa, shit.
Sorry.
How many eggs hit him?
That one exploded.
All right, Pete versus Rose.
Ow.
Shit.
You should just hold an egg right in the middle of the bag.
No, no, we got to pick them because if we hold them, we'll throw them right at them.
Yeah, true.
Did they get me good?
All right, so let's just
If it lands on you you're the thrower again, right? Yes
Ready No you can't throw two! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Damn!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
My god!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
You threw it to me!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
That road wins!
Oh no!
Jesus!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
The cool twist of karma!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Fuck!
That's so fun!
Oh!
Oh!
That is so fun!
Two more dozen eggs!
Holy shit! Holy shit! My heart's beating like a jackrabbit! That was so fun. Oh, that is so fun. Two more dozen eggs.
Holy shit. My heart's beating like a jackrabbit.
That was so fun.
Damage is done.
Do we have more eggs?
I don't think we have more running.
I'm out of shape.
Look at this guy's out of breath.
You have an excuse.
I smoked you.
That was crazy.
You passed it to me.
What am I supposed to do?
She literally passed it to me.
I had to do it.
She passed it to me.
I thought she was like,
oh my God.
She's tired.
There it goes.
Oh, fuck.
Do we have more eggs?
I'll play that all day.
Yeah, we got to get a field at the Chicago office to play this.
Yes.
Oh, fuck.
The Chicago field is going to be sick.
Go get it.
I want to get Brandon.
Nope.
So we're back over here now?
Are those not broken?
No.
My main concern is bees.
Like a good old-fashioned Easter egg hunt.
Brandon, catch.
Do not throw.
I won't.
I won't.
I recommend.
You can't smoke me, though.
Brandon, catch.
How the hell do these things not burn?ed your feet and oh man that was fun I could have done that all day all right
for the belly flop your belly flop conscious then we gotta tell them about
mattress firm right oh yeah let's do mattress from here sorry Kate nope Let me have it.
Sorry, Kate.
Nope, that's okay.
Everyone needs quality sleep to feel restored, Connor.
Smoker.
They got to function at their best to achieve this.
The right mattress matters.
Mattress Firm is here to help.
I don't know if the camera's on me.
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you find yours all right the press knows we're here yes yes sass sass yes yes That was the yokiest thing of all time.
It didn't stop.
Why didn't you react?
That's an omelet.
I didn't know what you were doing.
It didn't stop.
It's still going.
It's okay.
I'm fine.
It's fine.
Yeah, I deserved it.
I fucking smoked everyone else.
You got to expect to take one.
Oh, man. That's so much yolk is it hey is it on
me did it get on me oh there's just a little bit right here wipe it off
oh i wasn't gonna do it big cat it's fine Brandon made me. I just smoked three people with eggs.
I deserve at least one.
All right, should we do a belly flop?
You guys want to judge a belly flop contest?
I'll judge a belly flop between you and Brandon.
And Stu, if he's still here.
I just want to jump in the pool to get the egg off me at this point.
Stu, you going to belly flop?
What?
You want a belly flop?
In the pool? No, in the grass. I'll dive. I don't know a belly flop? What? You want a belly flop? In the pool?
No, in the grass.
I'll dive.
I don't know about belly flop.
I feel like it's the same thing.
No, I'm an excellent diver.
I know you are.
Would you like to dive?
Yes.
Okay.
I'll go in the pool.
Hell yeah.
What, you want to swim meeting?
Let's go.
No, we want a belly flop.
A contest.
Between you and me.
I don't want to.
It hurts. I know. I don't want to. It hurts.
I know.
I don't know what you're doing.
I was just holding my hat.
You were conveniently not out here a while.
I feel bad.
And now I feel like I'm going to fall.
Did that start yet?
I'm not.
I'm not.
Nothing.
Get him.
Is it on?
Damn it. Those are my shorts. I didn't get it.? Damn it.
It was my shorts.
I didn't get it.
Let's see.
Yeah, you did.
It's Mike Fass.
I had a cat on a fucking plane.
I barely got you.
I have to fly home.
Covered in egg.
Oh, fuck.
Can we get an angle of the new hit?
I guess go straight.
It's good, huh?
It's not going to kill you.
Yeah.
We'll go in the pool. Oh, I barely got you, bro. No, I don't care. It's good, huh? Yeah, we'll go in the pool.
Oh, I barely got you, bro.
No, I don't care.
Big Cat, you throw an egg well.
I mean, you're an expert.
It's not your first rodeo hitting someone with a fucking egg.
I was going to smash it on your head with the hat.
All right, should we do a belly flop contest?
Who's judging?
I'll judge.
I'll judge with Roan.
I will also judge.
All right.
Kate, Brandon, and Big Cat.
And Stu.
And Stu.
And we'll rank his as a dive.
So if he'll be diving, everyone else will be belly flopping.
But he's going to be the one that takes a dive.
Seems like an unfair advantage.
Well, it does. Kate being an unfair advantage. What does?
Kate being, you know, with child hurt.
So fat.
Belly flop?
I think so.
What are you guys doing?
Nothing.
Nothing you need to worry about.
No mics in the pool.
That makes sense.
Okay.
Hey, Frank.
Did y'all think we were going to take the mics in the pool?
Dude, we'll help clean all this shit up.
I'm not worried.
You just thought so? I'm'm not worried. Andrew, I think I already just thought so.
I'm so not worried.
Hey, Frank.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm good.
Don't worry.
I mean, this does look refreshing.
It does.
It's not worth it, though.
No.
Stay strong, brother.
I will.
Oh, you're going to love the pool.
Hey, they can't take all of our shirts.
I don't like being next to the edge.
I just got a tattoo.
We just got tattoos.
Just got tattoos yesterday.
I'm going to anchor down to Frank.
All right, so we sit in these judges' chairs.
Boys.
Hey, boys.
Belly flop contest.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
The only way.
No, I was talking to him.
Cool.
Why wouldn't we?
Of course we're going off the diving board, right?
I wish I were that confident.
Where's the diving board? Oh, I didn't even see the diving board, right? I wish I were that confident. Okay, well, let's go off the side.
Where's the diving board?
Oh, I didn't even see the diving board.
Oh, yeah.
Crazy.
I hope they do.
Off the diving board.
All right, so what are we judging?
How are you guys judging?
Splash, bravery, and distance.
On a scale of 10, so it's a total score of 30.
Splash, bravery, and distance.
Oh, it's been a total score of 30. Splash, bravery, and distance.
Oh, it's been through it.
Egg wall.
Are you picking up the mics from there or not?
Oh, there's shell in my wallet.
Please don't tell me this stuff is platinum.
Did Brandon's nipples get smaller?
The stick mic.
Is this one?
I have.
Hey.
All right.
You hear me?
Okay.
I'm with the rest of you guys. Frank, you cook belly flop as well.
I forgot the fire.
So we're really going off the diving board?
Oh, what's the size you want?
I don't care.
How about this?
The diving board would be crazy.
It would be insane.
Yeah, let's talk about diving board.
So what are we saying?
Splash?
Splash, distance, and bravery.
And bravery.
I think we go three rounds.
Three rounds?
Yeah.
So you can improve on it.
Yes, you can improve on it.
And it's a high score of 30.
Splash, distance, and bravery.
Highest score wins of the whole thing.
Aggregate?
Or do we wipe it out?
Wipe out your lowest score. Okay.
Make it as confusing as possible.
Splash distance and bravery. Three rounds.
Wipe out lowest score. Four judges.
Frank's one of the judges.
And then it's Nick. What are we judging
out of ten? Thirty.
Thirty total.
But it's splash distance and bravery. Each one of those is out of ten.
Oh, okay. So like a ten for splash.
Giggle points. You get a little egg on you, you start laughing.
I thought we were doing 30 a turn.
I was going to say, that makes no sense.
30 dives.
30?
There's an eight ball in the bathroom in the left.
Bathroom.
Okay.
I'm going to go all out.
What were the syringes for?
Oh.
Okay.
Should I do this?
No, no, it's okay.
It's okay.
You can do it if you want. It's okay. I don't want to go first.
You go first.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
The people want it.
That's not true.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Can I just be in the pool?
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
I want that.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Shit.
I'll go first.
Okay.
All right. Are you guys ready Peeps and shit. Shit.
I'll go first.
Okay.
All right.
Are you guys ready?
I'm ready.
Ready.
Who's going first?
One at a time.
Who's going first?
Brandon first.
So, distance.
Do you have any categories again?
Flash, distance, and bravery.
Okay.
I don't really know how.
Okay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right, we'll jump in.
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ari, we'll jump in. Okay. Wait, everyone come up with it in your head.
Yeah, yeah, everybody in their head.
Go ahead.
I have it.
Kind of like this.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, I got my score.
You guys can see the whole thing.
Should we rate that?
Yeah, we have our scores in our heads.
Out of 10?
Out of 30.
Flash, distance, and bravery.
What was the score?
My total score was 23.
8 for splash, 8 for distance, 7 for bravery.
My total score was 21.
Okay.
Yeah, we judged the same.
Hold up, hold up.
Sass has to give his.
Someone counting them?
Seven distance?
I'll write it down.
I'll write it down.
Distance.
What?
Is that far?
Oh.
I'm going nine distance, five splash, seven bravery.
And distance.
Wait, I've done all of them?
That's all.
Am I ready?
Yeah.
Wait, what was your total score, Sass?
Wait, wait, don't go.
I had a 23.
You guys both had 21s.
I had an eight.
Just what are the three numbers?
It's very confusing in TI fashion.
So that's 20?
I'm jumping in.
We also do 5 for bravery, 8 for splash, 7 for distance.
So what's that total?
Yeah, we say the same total number.
Okay, 20 as well.
Okay.
Complicating this.
Ready?
Yeah.
Look at Brandon's farmer skin.
Alright, alright, get it all together in your head.
Flash and bravery.
Distance.
No distance there.
We need to do it from the side so we can really judge the distance.
Yeah.
That's a 23 from Sass.
I'm giving it a 9, 9, and 8.
I'm going to go 10, 9, 8.
I'm going 10, 7, 7.
10, 9, 8.
So what's added up for me? So 24.
24 for you.
What's yours, Frank?
I got 27.
Nothing.
27.
10-9-8.
7-8-7 for me.
The bravery was in the face.
Yeah, but that wasn't a splash for you?
24?
No, 22.
Eight is a splash.
Eight is a splash.
Not a lot of distance.
I don't have all the scores. Got the bravery. On her part. Not a lot of distance. Fuck, I don't have all the scores.
God damn it.
Can everybody say their score one time?
24.
Oh, 24.
Yeah, let's go two rounds.
Two rounds?
Two rounds.
All right, big catch winning.
Brandon, do it for the...
Oh, my God!
This makes me nervous.
He wants his bravery score.
This feels bad.
If there is a God, this diving board will snap in half.
Might not need to worry about that, but it's going to be a clean 30.
Yep.
Yep.
All right, we're ready?
Yep.
Oh, this makes me nervous.
Uh-oh.
The dog can sense it.
I don't want to hit the dog.
The dog doesn't want to get hit.
Oh. I know. I'm gonna hit the dog. Dog doesn't want to get hit. Oh! Oh! Oh!
What the hell was that?
I know.
He's not coming back up.
29.
What?
You didn't tell me, bro.
It was distance, 10, splash, 10, bravery.
I mean, to get up and do that.
10, yeah. I'm gonna go nine. I do that. 10. Yeah, I'm going to go 9.
I'm going 29.
You got 29 here?
29.
No.
Sorry, brother.
We're still giving you a 10.
We're giving you a 9 on bravery just because you did the dive.
You got really high up, too.
One thing you can do to win.
Perfect score here.
Completely naked.
Off the diving board, clothed, land naked.. Oh my god.
That slap hurt.
Yep, that hurt.
Oh my god.
Looks like that statue in Rio.
Oh, fuck.
998. Oh, fuck. Oh, man, I hit my balls.
His distance wasn't there.
Oh, my God, fuck you guys.
Oh, that hurt so bad.
But the distance, Sass, what are you going to give the distance?
I'm going to give it a seven.
The crack of the skin hitting the water.
You won.
Oh, fuck.
It's tied.
No, shut up.
It's tied going into the final.
It's tied.
I just put together the scores.
It's tied.
Big Cat won the first round.
Brandon won the second round.
A draw.
I'm going to do cannonballs for the winner.
I can't do it.
You guys could do a synchronized jump and we could see it at the
same time.
Oh, a synchronized
jump.
That one hurt me so
bad.
Yeah, it sounded
really bad.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my tummy.
No, that was good
for a 28 for me.
Proud of you.
God damn it.
I broke my knees a
little at the end.
Why don't we do
a suplex man?
No, let's do a
cannonball because we
can get the distance.
I don't give out
28s.
No, never.
Deal?
Cannonballs. I very rarely draw around a 29 like that. All right, let's do a cannonball because we can get the distance. I don't give out.8s. I know. All right, deal? Cannonballs.
I very rarely draw around a.9 like that.
All right, let's get breaking.
It felt weird to do.
You're welcome.
Oh, my God.
Brandon, what are you doing?
That hurt.
All right.
I thought it was Dick too big.
What's he doing?
One last jump, Brandon.
I thought we were doing it at the same time.
Cannonballs?
Yeah, cannonballs.
And what is the judging?
What is...
Splash?
I'd like to see how compact one is.
I'm not a good cannonballer.
Let's go compact and splash.
Compact, splash.
What? Wow factor. Wow factor. I'm not a good cannon baller. Let's go compact and splash. Compact and splash. What?
Wow factor.
Wow factor.
I like that.
Which could be positive or negative.
Right.
Like it could be like, oh my Lord,
that was shocking to see.
All right.
Already going 10 wow factor on this.
Oh my god.
Oh. All right, Brandy.
Wow, Brandy.
I didn't even mean to say wow.
I just vomited it up.
Wow.
That's going to go 10 wow, 10 splash.
What was the other one?
Compact.
He flailed a wee bit.
I'm going to go 7 compact.
I'm going to go 8 compact.
I'm going to go seven compact. I'm going to go eight compact. I'm going 28. I'm going to go 10 splash.
What was the water factors?
Wow, and how tight the ball was.
I'm going to go nine for the wow and eight for the ball,
so I gave that to 27.
27.
27, 27, 28.
Me.
Frank and Sass.
Ready?
Wow!
Wow!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Wow!
Oh!
Wow.
30.
That's a 30.
30, 30.
30. You need to walk off, it's Wow. 30. That's a 30. 30.
30.
You walk off, it's 30.
30.
Oh yeah.
I got her, I got her, I got her.
That will knock you points.
It will boost your wow score though, in a negative way.
Wow.
That guy killed that duck.
That cool? That was cool. Yeah, that was perfect. Oh, fuck dog. That was cool.
Yeah, that was perfect.
Oh, fuck yes.
That felt cool.
Wow.
All right, should we go back to the table and spin the wheel?
Yeah.
That would suck if it landed on wet.
You can go to the shower.
Oh, yeah, you go shower instead.
You good, Brandon? Oh, yeah, you go shower instead. You good, Brandon?
Oh, yeah.
I don't feel well for my...
That does hurt more than it should.
Oh, man.
Oh, it really is warm.
You need to brace.
Yeah.
I did.
All right, let's go finish the show.
Do some wheel spinning.
Let's go in.
What a fun day. All right. Let's go finish the show. Do some wheel spinning. That was incredible.
Hopefully I look cool for the people.
Yeah.
Hey, Frank.
We're going to wear some of this boss beach wear,
which is released just in time for the end of summer.
I mean, we really, you see,
we're going to release our Christmas clothing on December 24th,
and next year we're going to release our Easter collection on Good Friday.
That's Frank the Tank, ladies and gentlemen.
Frank the Tank.
Buy tickets to the Late Show.
He'll be here all weekend Oh man
Hopefully everyone loved this show
By the way
Is my mic on?
Your mic is on
We have a
Nick will say it at the end of the show
But we have
Something that people are
I think KB's sister is
trying to
adopt a baby
so I think we have a GoFundMe for that
that we'll drop a link
we love KB we miss him
very very much
he would have loved today
thank you for everyone who
subscribed please subscribe these shows are our favorite and we need subscriptions He would have loved today. Thank you for everyone who's subscribed.
Please subscribe.
These shows are our favorite, and we need subscriptions.
We need people to subscribe to the Yak, so we can keep doing them.
High Noon comes in, funs these days.
Get to do something a little different.
We're going to do roof ball again in Chicago in September. There's also a rumor that
on one of these days,
live on the
Yak in September,
there may be someone who's going to try to break
his personal record of Stingray's Pet.
What? Heard one of what? Subscribe.
Of what? Subscribe. Stingray's Pet.
You teased it.
I heard one.
I could hear one from 30 yards away.
It was incredible.
Yeah.
Do we have that link?
Yeah, and we'll text it to the group.
All right.
TJ, can we put up that link for KB's sister?
Ah, he's texting it. Oh, that was fun, boys.
Cody! Cody Where's Adam
Bastard
What else is going on today boys
Anything else you want to yak about
Oh yeah we could chat.
We could chat.
I love Stu's house so much.
It's great.
Me too.
It's fun land.
I liked when you were like, hey, Stu, is there any food coming?
And as you said it, a big food truck pulled up the driveway.
No, Stu does not.
That was a stupid question for me.
Stu does not let anyone go hungry ever.
That's a fact.
Host with the most.
It's a Stu Feer fact i would play
that egg game every day yeah i think we're gonna have to yeah can we have a chicken can we have a
chicken coop at the new office yeah thanks man i think i i would like to play with a paintball gun
yeah yeah or we just do it in the parking lot. Parking lot would be fun.
Just every Friday we just do the egg throw.
Winner gets, yeah.
Like that big Friday morning swim. Yeah, I think if you get like, it would be hilarious if you got like ten people.
And you had, instead of the spin, you just have like a random generator where just the name pops up.
Like a wheel? Yeah, like a wheel. Wait a just have like a random generator where just the name pops up. Like a wheel?
Yeah, like a wheel.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Now you're thinking.
Put this on your towel.
Yeah, I think if we put like a big tarp on the basketball court.
You can't leave the basketball court?
I like that a lot. Eggs on the tarp. I like that a lot.
Eggs on the tarp.
Slick.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it would work.
It would be very funny if the second person got hit with an egg
and slipped on the previous egg.
Funny.
What about if we did it with a baseball?
We could do it with a baseball.
We could do it with a baseball.
We could do it with a baseball bat.
I don't care.
Just a nice, good old-fashioned hardball.
Yeah.
America's pastime.
Is there an egg gun?
There will be.
Like the gladiators, you know?
Should be.
There's a potato gun.
Like, what if we got a blow-up obstacle course and somebody was at the helm of an egg gun?
Those are beautiful elephant ears over there.
Stunning.
Whew.
I need to get into shape.
The landscaping here is wonderful.
Got to get his guy.
Oh, okay.
We're just talking about something else.
You look like you're coming off a bender.
I can't stop looking at you.
How are you underwater in a pool?
Do I still have the eyeliner?
It won't come off.
It won't come off.
It will not come off.
Because you need to get makeup on.
You keep saying that.
I'm not here.
I'm not at a store.
I'm at Stu's house.
You have very desirable eyes, though.
They're predator eyes is what they're called. Yeah, I do. Predator eyes. I have predator here. I'm not at a store. I'm at Stu's house. You have very desirable eyes, though. They're predator eyes is what they're called.
Yeah, I do.
Predator eyes.
First time I met him.
Remember during the eggs when Brandon was like, don't throw at heads?
No, I said, why do you keep throwing at heads?
Why are we throwing at heads, guys?
You guys.
You kept throwing at heads.
That's not in the rules.
I was only throwing at heads.
There was backs and asses in front of you. You kept throwing at heads. You were already out. You should I was only throwing at heads. There was backs and asses in front of you, and you kept throwing at heads.
You were already out.
You should have wanted everybody else to get hit.
I had gotten hit in the head.
I know.
The excitement one is your turn to throw the egg.
Do we have the alternate angle?
I never got the shot.
We can get it after.
Stu, come join us for the end.
This has been an unbelievable day.
Yes, thank you, Stu.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, we are. We're done. You can have some.
Hell yeah.
Lime.
Thank you to High Noon.
I know, my tummy hurts.
Yeah, we should mic you.
The running with the sausages really is a nice pairing.
And then try to add a little belly tip flop on top.
Oh, yeah.
The cannonball hurt me worse than the belly flops.
Oh, the belly flops.
I guess I didn't belly flop as well.
Crushed me.
Frank has made $26,000 since we've been here.
That's so funny.
Hey, Frank, next year the big field day is just going to be sponsored by Frank the Tank's Cameo.
He'll be our number one sponsor.
Stu, any last words?
It's been awesome.
Tremendous day.
A lot of fun.
Everybody performed a lot of great feats.
We challenged the Guinness Book of World Records,
which is the highest form of the bar that you set at the Yak.
And it was an honor and a blessing to be here.
I'm pretty full.
Yeah, I'm pretty full too. Whoa, money, money!
Where did the money come from?
I think my wallet.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah, let's spin the wheel.
Can we put one more egg run on the wheel?
Yes!
We could just do one more.
No, let's spin the wheel.
Let's spin the wheel, and then we'll do more no let's do let's spin the wheel let's let's spin the wheel and then no let's spin the wheel and then we'll do one where
it's everyone's name on the wheel yeah and the egg will be in the middle to end the show
you gotta get up and run you gotta get up and run
oh this is the regular wheel i do like it i don't like it at the same time.
Try. There we go.
There we go.
All right.
So it's persons whose name it is is the thrower.
Okay.
Your name comes up.
You're throwing the egg.
Wait.
We're all just running from here?
Yeah.
Yes.
Where's the egg?
But you got to be sitting.
Everyone's got to be sitting.
Everyone has to be sitting.
Yeah, I know. Everyone has to be sitting. Yeah, I know.
Everyone has to be sitting.
The egg needs to be in the middle.
And you gotta run that way.
You gotta run.
So wait, whoever it lands on is throwing?
Yeah.
Whoever it lands on is throwing.
I don't like my spot.
Actually, you guys, yeah,
that side of the table is the stand.
Us?
The game's not on that, is it?
Oh yeah.
No, it isn't.
We're on the other side.
Hey, that's the brakes.
That's the brakes.
How do you see where it is?
All right.
Wait.
I feel like I'm being set up.
You in it?
Yeah.
No!
Oh, he doesn't want to be in it.
Okay, no.
But he can run.
You have to run.
You have to run.
I'm running.
Stu has to run.
I mean, the odds are we're going to just miss the throw, right? Also, the wheel has to come I mean the odds are
we're going to just
miss the throw right
but also the wheel
the wheel has to come
to a full stop
can I throw an extra
in here
why don't we have
like two or three eggs
out there
we're out of eggs
we're out of eggs
we're out of eggs
or there'll be more eggs
18 have been used
that's the last egg
is this your personal
collection of eggs
it's the only eggs
in the house
oh we used up
18 of Stu's eggs
Sandy was making pancakes tomorrow.
Shane making fucking pancakes.
That's why I'm not getting hit with an egg.
We can get somebody to go to the lake.
I sacrificed my pancakes.
I'm not going to get hit with an egg, too.
All right, name that it lands on.
Fair, right?
Fair.
Very fair.
All right, fuck it.
Do you guys want to stand on this?
Oh.
All right.
Oh! You wanna stand on this? Oh. Alright. That was a fucking jailbreak in the head.
Landed on Big Cat.
Did it really?
Oh no!
Wait, Big Cat, it landed on you.
No way, did it really? It landed on me no way did it really yeah, that's through it
I
Was certain it was landing on me I got hit
Hit Roan I got hit so funny
Is it on my ass?
Right on the top back bar.
Yeah, you got hit in the ass.
Took one right on the cheek.
The B-cheeser.
I hit the goal post.
I mean, I don't think that was fully on me.
You guys were all gone.
I was the only one here left.
Yeah.
What were you supposed to do?
It's good, the vodka and kiwi.
Oh, yeah, it's very good.
Very good.
You stopped walking.
I swore, I guess it was on you by like a millimeter.
That's crazy.
Right.
Oh, man.
God, I got to throw one, though.
All right.
So when you're drinking these, then you're out on the night.
I brought that egg back just for me to get smoked with it.
How many are you drinking of these?
Ten.
Ten, right.
Wow.
Ten of these.
That's over the span of six hours.
No, no, no.
Understood.
What's going on? What's going on?
This is the part of the day that Stu just has random people show up.
It's awesome.
It's great.
He's a woodshop teacher.
Oh, yeah?
It's very handy.
All right, so tomorrow we're in Boston.
Yeah.
Same time.
20 years!
Stu, you coming?
I don't know.
Probably not.
That's a no. If you haven't made plans to come yet, probably not. Well, you coming? I don't know. Probably not. That's a no.
If you haven't made plans to come yet, probably not.
I would say yes.
Well, you never know.
If I wake up in the morning, it's legal pot smoking, getting an Uber.
Okay.
Uber to Boston?
On the way there.
Get there.
Go to a legal pot place.
All right.
Buy like 10 pre-rolls.
I like letting it. I think you got high just talking about that. Yes,s. I like letting it.
I think you got high just talking about it.
Yes, exactly.
I'm excited.
See, you never know is what I'm saying.
You never know.
I like clarifying that it's legal weed and then saying that you're going to snore an
eight ball.
But the weed is legal, sir.
And Thursday, we got the Tim Hitchings show.
Thursday, Tim Hitchings.
Friday, Case Race, which, whew.
Big weekend.
You guys did good.
In the booth,
we were laughing
like every 10 seconds.
And if I had a nickel
for every time,
Zaha went,
Sass is cooking.
And he said it a lot.
You were really cooking, Sass.
I don't remember.
Wait a minute.
I thought I barely spoke.
Oh, no.
Hold on.
Yes.
Sass was cooking.
And it's all worth it
for the moment at the end where I was just sitting there going, what is happening right now?
There was like 15 different really bizarre things all at once.
It was chaotic.
Fantastic.
All right.
Well, thanks, everyone.
Please subscribe.
Also, are we putting that link in there?
It's pinned in the chat.
Oh, great.
Thank you, sister.
Yeah.
So thank you, everyone who donates.
And also, please subscribe.
KB's mom loved the show. So we're happy to put on a great show this week
And all subscriptions help
And we'll see everyone tomorrow in Boston
Can we talk about the VA?
That's for tomorrow
Tomorrow we're going to talk about the VA
Thank you Stu
Love you man
Thanks for coming
Be like Stu.com
Be like Stu.com
Beautiful Stu, legend. Love you, man. Thanks for coming. Be like Stu.com. Be like Stu.com. Be like Stu.com.
Be like Stu.com.
Beautiful.
Heard the man.
It's the act.
It's the act.
You can start, get started, stay for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act. Outro Music