The Yak - Yeah, We Just Pulled Up to Yak U | The Yak 8-17-23
Episode Date: August 17, 2023I gotta go have diarrheaYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, pull that up.
Ayo.
It's the Barstool Yak.
I think Roan will be in.
I think LA fell through.
I don't know.
I just texted him.
Very cool.
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What's up, boys?
What's up, Mr. Married?
Yes, congratulations.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
Look at that thing.
It's shining.
Wow.
Matches my brick watch.
Look at that.
Very nice.
How'd everything go?
I know you filmed it.
Yes. Yeah. Black T talks was a partial sponsor so uh we will be releasing some content from the wedding very
cool it went well though but it was uh it was a whirlwind we had like three days of activities
for 100 friends and family pretty stressful i don't think I have talked to, like I don't think I've just talked that much
in a three-day stretch ever.
Planning a wedding is stressful, I'd imagine,
and planning a wedding abroad has to be five times as stressful.
There's nothing I dread more than that day, which is sad.
Than your wedding day?
Yeah, like just the social expectations of the whole,
like, you know, the days leading up the day of
your husband will take care of it
yo you've been a dick lately what else did i do um yeah nothing you've been good i guess i've been
i've been really fucking good before we get into your way on your best behavior i swear to god i've
been the best i've been in a long time. I've been pretty damn good. Yeah.
Thank you.
Everybody's been noticing.
But before what?
Before he gets into his wedding day?
Is there a medical consensus, like an official one on five-hour energy?
So what's going on with them?
They've kind of been under the radar.
The nutrition are crazy. The daily values, this has 20,833% daily values.
That's lethal.
Is this going to kill you?
There's no way your body can absorb all of that.
I thought it was just a lot of caffeine.
It's 200 milligrams.
This is 100% strong energy drink.
Huh.
I don't know.
I think those have been around forever.
I feel like if they were terrible.
Yeah, but you never hear anything about them.
All right, that's it.
I took one the first day of my internship uh like right out of high school
yeah i took one my first day inter office couple ben de julio shout out a big shout out ben de
julio he's engaged um i had to go home with a panic attack my first day of an interview oh yeah
i had i was back remember when me and you were slamming the reins oh and we'd both just have to leave work early yeah just
like hey man i gotta go home and be nervous yeah i was having those like uh orange sherbert flavor
yeah the white gummy bear ones remember that yeah yeah my heart was just looking like uh
like when nobody sits in a massage chair it was like the kneading coming out of my chest.
Those are 300 milligrams of caffeine.
Yeah.
Not good for you.
But Donnie knows it was a good, successful wedding.
Yes.
Ireland's a magical country.
Some of the friendliest people in the world.
Although I did manage to piss off a group of six or seven of them.
Okay.
What did you do?
The wedding was on a Jack Nicklaus golf course out there.
Yeah, of course.
And I don't play a lot of golf.
I don't love golf, but my friends do.
So they offered to let us all play for free the day before the wedding.
We were out there and I was just hammering balls out of the bunkers.
Oh, is that what?
As I am prone to do. My bunker game isers. Oh, is that what? As I am prone to do.
My bunker game is nice.
Oh, so that was a good thing.
Yeah, I mean, at some point.
You were doing well while you were in the bunkers.
Yes.
Other than that, I was doing horribly.
At times, I was just throwing balls in the bunkers and hitting them out.
Oh, that's a good time.
Because I found it fun.
But none of my friends informed me that you're supposed to rake the bunkers afterwards.
Oh, yeah.
We were walking away from a hole, and this guy was like,
you come back here and you rake this bunker right now?
That plays.
I go, yeah, I think he's talking to me.
So I walk back, and it's a group of seven guys.
One of them goes, is this your first time playing golf, son?
And I was like, sort of.
Not far from it. He he goes you come to our
country and you leave our bunkers looking like this you get in there and you start raking now
so i just got in the bunker and i'm slowly raking it for five to ten minutes while like seven angry
guys just stare at me how did you know when you were done i i thought i was done i start walking
away and he goes you come back here right now.
Dude, the Irish and the Russians just blow out the competition when it comes to angry men.
Yeah.
Well, most Irish people are very jolly, happy-go-lucky.
This is the only time I saw one upset.
Yes.
So he had me come back.
He goes, you only raked half the bunker.
Because I thought I only had to rake where my like uh club hit the sand yeah but
he was like you left all your footprints um and so I had to go in and then rake all my footprints
and then I had to he's like you rake yourself out so you don't leave a single footprint
and so yeah I raked myself out but I was like I was thinking of like pulling the groom card and
being like I'm getting married tomorrow I'm just trying to try and have a good time my friends
though he wouldn't have cared, he wouldn't have cared.
No, he wouldn't have cared at all.
So I was rattled.
But other than that, people there are so friendly.
Golf is so intimidating.
I think I've missed the curve.
I don't know the protocols.
I don't know.
I would commit so many faux pas.
I think a lot of people are faking it.
A lot of people are pretty fucking bad.
But they just look.
They wear the uniform.
And they say what you need to say. I wouldn't have because just guys is that anyone can get you could just throw on the
collar shirt and be like i'm not a piece of shit i beat hank by like 15 strokes in that frankie
oh yeah he golfs every single day and i haven't played in two years are you his boss you guys
played for pinks.
Yeah, but it is like... There is weird...
I remember when me and my friends used to play when we were younger.
We would get yelled at by the greenskeepers or whatever.
The landscape guys all the time.
For leaving divots.
They would chase us down holding the divot.
Like, remember this?
They would bring you the divot?
Bring the divot.
Is this yours?
Yeah.
You're like, it might be. I don't know.'t know or dicks though but it was a public course yeah that's on your boys for sure oh 100 i was actually
with pft at the time he didn't say a word say a word no so he does not know proper bunker etiquette
was the filming like subtle enough uh yeah no i like i warned cory
i was like do not tell any of my friends and family to do like a dutch angle oh yeah
if cory like yeah made you do your vows twice yeah yeah don't talk to anyone hey cory did your
wedding video uh yeah he filmed some so your your wedding, the video is sponsored by Black Tux.
Was that a tough sell to your now wife?
Like, hey, she's very cool.
Surprisingly down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was shocked.
Well, she was in one of your earlier videos.
Yes.
Getting drunk at that buffet.
At the fanciest Italian restaurant.
Yeah, yeah. yes getting drunk at that buffet the fanciest italian restaurant yeah yeah uh where you could
get like like fruit pizzas for three dollars is that one of your first dates with her um no i
think it seemed like he was a rent yeah like i think you said it was a prostitute in the video
i said i met her on a chinder chinese t That sounds fucked up. That sounds so fucked up.
Yes.
But we, like, yeah, and they had, like, $6 bottles of wine there,
and we were just getting hammered.
You just press, like, a button every time you want something else.
Yeah.
And, yeah, we were pretty drunk after that,
and I'm pretty sure she lost her purse,
and we were just, like, locked out of our apartment that night.
Match made in heaven.
Oh, yeah.
She also appeared in the video I did with you guys in Wheeling.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah.
The first scene.
What did you guys tour that day?
A botanic garden or some shit?
What were you guys walking around in Wheeling?
The Palace of Gold.
Oh, yeah.
The Palace of Gold.
The Hare Krishna.
It's one of the world's...
It's an important one for the Krishnas.
Like, they flock there.
They do retreats there.
It was also where they, like, murdered a mailman.
Yeah, there's that book, Monkey on a Stick.
Yeah.
We got, they were unhappy with us after that video.
Yeah, I mean, oh, because Kyle pointed at one of the giant statues there
and said they were the first trans Hindu saints or something.
Nick said that.
No, you said that.
I said they directed The Matrix.
But you called their god.
Yeah, the first trans.
Yeah, I did.
And at that point, I don't think I'd known you long enough.
I thought that may have been real.
Because I could see Hindus having some sort of like trance.
The people mad were white girls who just worked there part-time.
Yeah.
The Krishnas didn't care.
No.
They're kind people.
Very kind.
Damn, that's sick.
We were talking before.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
I don't know.
I just want to hear more Donnie's Irish accent.
It was really good.
Did you have one before you went?
How do you say 33 and a third in Irish?
33 and a turd?
Okay, yeah.
Is that like the oldest joke ever?
No, I've never heard that, but I like it.
I know that because Colm Terrell.
Oh, yes.
He always says turd.
Yeah, turd.
Turd.
Turd place.
He's not there for three minutes.
Okay, now what is the Scottish accent?
Oh.
That's even more.
Grandfather.
Is it angrier than Irish?
Grandfather, lend me your ear.
It's more unintelligible.
Okay.
Scottish brogue.
Yeah.
No, I knew one Scottish guy where I actually couldn't understand a word.
Where's Shrek from?
What's his accent?
I think that's
from fresno tracks yeah you grew up there yeah in the central valley damn that central valley
accent i had no idea shrek was from fresno yeah i think the further you go north in ireland the more
um the more heavy the accent in scotland that's the case the further north the accent gets. In Scotland, that's the case. The further north, the heaviest.
And then in Ireland, I think they're west coast.
The accents are a lot heavier than the east coast.
Yeah.
And that's where they speak Gaelic.
So all the signs there are in English and in Gaelic.
And all the kids growing up have to take Irish classes as well as English classes.
Yeah, that language is strange to hear. Yeah.
We had a day of wedding
coordinator and her name was
spelled. I would have had no
idea how to pronounce it. Apparently it was
Diervla.
Diervla. But it was spelled like
Duablegulish. Yeah.
Yeah. Some of those names are just
a combination of letters that don't fit
where they are at all. Yeah.
Oh my god, he's all. Yeah. Oh, my God.
He's from Fresno.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Shrek and Fresno.
I know.
It's one of those things.
It's just one of those things.
You're such a piece of shit.
What the fuck?
What the fuck is that?
Yeah, I forget.
I always forget that.
Listen, Boots 2 is a great movie, surprisingly.
Is that the new one?
Like, this came out this year?
Yeah, yeah.
I heard it was really good.
Fantastic.
You went to it?
You saw it?
I didn't see it in the theater. Oh, thank goodness. I didn't see it. But it was really good. Fantastic. You went to it? I didn't see it in the theater.
I thought you were going to say, I didn't see it.
But it's really good.
You've got to check it out.
There's a bunch of British people on Facebook mad right now.
They're falling for like this Onion-esque article that they're renaming Big Ben Massive Muhammad.
It was like, this can't be real.
Tell me this isn't true.
Yeah. I was like, I'm still going to be calling it big ben immigration terrible
damn yeah i can't even differentiate between a lot of them like i don't know the scottish
from the irish or i mean i would know you hear it but i couldn't do it scottish is crazy like scouse from
like jordy and scouse it's very high pitched it's like all right oh yeah i don't know about that
i was exactly right
that sounds like an anime school girl yeah that was a Japanese girl. All right, love, put it in my pussy.
I had a scouse friend, and we were just talking,
and I was like, yeah, a lot of American chicks, they won't want to have sex on the first date
because then you'll think they're easy.
And he was like, in Liverpool,
if you don't fuck on the first date,
she'll think you're gay.
Oh man.
Oh my god.
That's fucking beautiful.
Donnie, did you give a speech at your wedding?
I did not.
I had some ruts about it. He texted me last night.
He was like, did you give a speech at your wedding?
I didn't know why you were asking that.
But you said you didn't give a speech either, but you're regretting it?
Well, you not giving a speech made me feel better.
I've never been to a wedding with a groom speaking.
Okay, all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Some things online said-
Sometimes they just give a speak.
A quick thank you.
A thank you to everyone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Quick thank you.
Quick thank you.
A quick thank you.
Just necking off the whole crowd that went there?
I don't know.
That's what it is.
Or just like sharing stories about like how you guys met and stuff.
But yeah, no.
I feel like that's the best man.
I've been to, yeah, it's the best man, father of the bride.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe so.
And then the woman, the maid of honor.
Yes.
Now, you're international as hell.
Who was the, what guest traveled the furthest?
Yeah.
Your cleaning lady?
Who was your cleaning lady?
What was her name?
She wouldn't have been able to get an Irish visa, unfortunately.
We had someone from Singapore who lives in Singapore now.
As far as possible, probably.
Yeah, Shanghai.
It's pretty fucking good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't have to dig for deeper than Shanghai.
There's nowhere farther.
South Africa.
Oh, wow.
Jesus.
But she was my wife's friend from the school she taught at in Italy,
but it's just south african
damn what did you guys eat there what was it was a traditional irish cuisine maybe something indian
or did they just give you a hawk of beef and some fish traditional irish cuisine i will say
something the chicken wings in ireland are minuscule really no steroids in the chicken
but they're very tasty what they lack size, they make up for in quality.
But they're just like Irish hen wings.
I can send a photo.
Yeah.
I mean, these wings.
Chicken wings in America are beefy.
Oh, my God.
I'm still shocked when I see this.
Who should I send it to?
TJ.
TJ's number.
I don't think I do.
Why don't you just read that off?
Just say it off. I'll send it to his.... TJ's number. I don't think I do. Why don't you just read that off? Just say it off.
I'll send it to his...
Six.
Oh, you're fucked.
I'll tweet it at you.
Or I'm going to text it to Zah.
Is he back there?
Yeah.
I'll text him.
A nice thing about Ireland is they do drink a lot,
but all their beers, like Guinness is maybe 4.2% alcohol.
Magner's, which they call Balmer's over there, is like 4.2.
Cider?
Yeah.
Okay.
The cider.
So you can just drink all day.
They have no light beers, though.
You can't actually get drunk.
There's like a light beer on the tap.
Yeah.
4.2% is light.
But it's still a heavy beer to drink.
Like I'm talking about a traditional.
Like a Bud Light.
Yo.
What about the whiskey?
Yeah.
Once you start getting into the whiskey, that could be a problem.
A lot of stoolies in Ireland.
It was cool just going out to random bars and having like the Irish bartender be like,
are you the one Don Don?
Oh, wow.
That's awesome.
That's fucking sick.
Yeah. Maybe they knew you were coming. I don No way. That's awesome. Fucking sick. Yeah.
Maybe they knew you were coming.
I don't know.
What's the Blarney Stone?
The Blarney Stone, I know you're supposed to kiss it for good luck, but apparently,
oh my God.
One bite.
Yeah, it was a little too small.
They look good though.
They look good as well.
Yeah, remember that?
Yeah, they're very good but apparently all
irish people piss on it constantly because they know all the tourists are gonna are gonna be
kissing it for good luck that's disgusting yeah that's pretty fucking funny they're going to piss
on their most popular landmark yeah so that the tourists people are kissing that you're supposed
to like they like you grab somebody's ankles and, like, they go down this, like,
slide kind of thing and kiss it, right?
I think so.
And the tourists are the...
That's hilarious.
All the locals pee on it.
I would definitely pee on it.
And there's definitely been dudes
who took it too far, too.
And shit or came.
Shit on it, yeah.
If someone's peeing,
then someone's going crazy.
Especially the Irish.
Have you ever pissed or shit, like,
at a landmark?
No. No.
No.
Oh, no.
Tommy Smoke said he shit where from the building JFK was shot from.
I cannot see.
Yeah, when I was on the Great Wall of China,
my friend got diarrhea.
And we were like, okay, you can't just poop on this wall.
So he hung his butt off the wall and shat in a plastic bag
and then just chucked the plastic bag
as far as he could off the wall.
That would have got him in big trouble,
I feel like.
Yeah.
If he was caught in the act.
Yeah.
If he's going diarrhea
on the Great Wall of China.
Yeah.
It's got to be a first.
I can't imagine that's happened too many times.
The Mongolians probably have.
Yes.
He's got a couple guys. He's stripped nude's happened too many times. The Mongolians probably have. Yeah.
He stripped nude in protest during sporting events.
The Mongolians.
I remember they did this. It's a cultural
thing. One of their wrestlers
got screwed and the coaching staff
just got down to their skivvies and ran around.
Is there a video? Yeah.
It's only skivvies, right?
Not totally nude.
That's a good protest. Leave them wanting more, too. Yeah. It's only skivvies, right? We're not going to show it. Yeah, not totally nude. If it's skivvies, we'll be able to show it.
That's a good protest.
Leave them wanting more, too.
I haven't gotten down to my skivvies in a while.
I think it's a way of saying, you've took everything from me.
Have my clothes, too.
Is that your Mongolian accent?
Yeah. It's like the move in Blood Diamond when he's like, where is the diamond?
He strips ass naked.
Yeah, I think that's something.
You've taken everything.
And it was in his ass, I there's no no no he hit it is mongolia the least densely populated country correct correct yep um how'd you guys all know that i think i
watched a youtube video on it it said the coldest capital too. Coldest? I think. Yeah.
Ulaanbaatar.
Yeah.
I was reading.
I can't show this because it's Olympic footage.
It'll take the stream down right away.
Fuck the Olympics.
Fucking sep bladder.
One time we showed on Pick Central reaction footage from a crowd shot at the Olympics and the stream went down within 90 seconds.
Damn.
They got bloodhounds.
They got snipers.
Who's in charge of the Olympics? What's the guy's name that runs it? I don't know. in 90 seconds. Damn, they got bloodhounds. They got snipers.
Who's in charge of the Olympics?
What's the guy's name that runs it? I just know it's the IOPC.
IOC?
Yeah, but when I covered
the Olympics for Barstool, the Winter Olympics,
they were like, we don't think it's a good idea
for you to get an actual
press pass because then you'll have to
follow all the rules, but if you just go
as a guy in the stands it'll be fine
I definitely filmed some events
and filmed crowd shots and didn't
get in any trouble
interesting so if you do it sneaky
I was like flying below their
radar maybe the winter olympics they have
less of an eye on did you by chance film
this protest that KB's talking about right now
where the guy's stripped naked we could watch that
from your angle Is that at the
Pyeongchang? No, it wasn't.
It was about summer. It was in Pyeongchang. Fuck.
Dang. I feel like the summer
are the Summer Olympics bigger than the Winter
Olympics? I think so. Yeah.
Much bigger. I've always been
more of a Winter Olympics person. Yeah, TJ
Oshie. TJ Oshie, yeah.
You fucking love
that guy. I love him.
My favorite athlete of all time.
Damn.
Why do you like the winter better?
Luge?
Skeleton?
Bob's?
I just like the hockey.
Interesting.
But don't they have golf?
They have the golf in the other one?
You don't really love basketball.
Or you didn't.
Now you do, though.
What about swimming?
I really don't like basketball.
Swimming is great.
Swimming events are awesome.
Track is a blast. Track's fun. Hurling is so fun like that's great track is awesome track is a blast
track's fun hurling is so fun oh hurling is awesome hurling hurling hurling we've seen
hurling yeah hurling's sick that's like one of the biggest sports in ireland we went to a hurling
bar no they were playing hurling and i was amazed you left our group and we're just watching hurling
was it live or it was the live events were you guys at that
bar up in the bronx where they play i don't think so okay by owens forget the name yeah hurling's
sick i think it's the fastest sport on two feet
well no because they're hitting that ball. The speed of the ball?
It's like the most athletic sport, I think, of all time.
Because you need to be careful about saying that. Big argument on this show.
It did look insane.
When we play lacrosse, we have a giant net at the end of the stick,
which we use to carry the ball, pass it.
When you're playing hurling, it's just like a wooden spoon.
You have to balance the ball.
And then when you want to pass it,
you throw it up and then hit it like a baseball bat.
It's impressive, but do only women play?
No, no, no, it's men's.
Hitting a 100-mile-per-hour fastball
is theoretically, functionally, and logistically impossible.
At least it should be.
Who said that?
Baseball.
I thought that there was a specific person.
Is that Hubs?
I don't know. Is that your H was a specific person. Is that Hubs? I don't know who that is.
Your Hubs and Sashas?
Hubs.
Can we watch some hurling highlights, maybe?
Just some, like...
Because in the bench game, aren't there, like, vicious hits?
Like, people get fucked up.
Yeah, they used to not really wear pads,
and then they started wearing gloves
because everyone was just shattering their fingers.
But the goalies still don't wear cups,
which is insane because all they have
is just a slightly larger wooden spoon.
So the spoon is flat
and you have to balance the ball on it?
I think there's a little bit of a concave.
Oh shit! Yeah, there are a lot of fights
too.
Yeah, there's a slight, slight concave.
They don't look...
They don't look decent.
Why not? You have it.
That rocks. Imagine if hockey players could just they don't look they don't look beastly why not you have it that rocks
imagine if hockey players could just smash you with their stick
I mean they don't really look beastly Donnie
no yeah they're very
kind of like trim
that's a strong man physique
no glamour muscles
but this is the most athletic bros
are there any penalties in this game?
Yeah, I actually filmed a video on hurling that
and got to try playing it a little.
Oh, you got the red card.
You got the hockey helmets.
Michael Jordan.
Yeah, this guy just brought shit.
Wait, that guy's name is Michael Jordan?
Yeah.
The Michael Jordan of hurling.
And what, do you have to hit it through the wickets on top?
No, and then there's just like a net.
It's like a soccer net, and the goalie just stands in front of the net
with a slightly larger wooden spoon trying to block shots,
which those shots can be going like 100 miles an hour
because you can throw it up and then swing it like a baseball bat.
And the ball is hard as a baseball or a cricket ball?
All of the footage
of them fighting
looks like it's from
like a silent
black and white
comedy.
Yeah.
When was this
filmed?
Where's Charlie
Chaplin?
I want to see them
actually play.
So far we've only
seen them.
They're like doing
diddly do's.
Skiddly walks.
Yeah they are.
That was a
head kick.
He dropped his
weapon.
He dropped his
oh my god the
ref.
Why not?
Is he the ref?
These guys look like bobbies.
They look like British cops.
All right, dude.
That's enough out of you.
This is crazy.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
That's hilarious.
And they're all only shoving.
They never reach their shit above their head to bop somebody or fucking...
Yeah.
Curling, though. Curling is very cool.
I remember at the last
two Winter Olympics go, that's when they had the
Truth from Duluth.
There's an American?
Yeah, he was an American and they won gold.
Really crammed in there.
Ugly ass clothing, too. Ugly gear. I don't know if Really crammed in there. Ugly ass clothing, too.
Ugly gear.
I don't know if curling is really as cool as this.
No.
I don't know what a score is.
That guy's pretty job.
So, yes, you can either hit it through the uprights,
and that's only like one point,
but if you get it into the net goal down below,
that's like six or seven.
I saw this.
When we were watching, the score was like 120 to 110.
Okay.
See if they have, like a goal highlights.
Why isn't everything just like one and two?
Like,
why isn't it like in tennis?
Why is it like 15,
30,
40,
45?
Why is that?
Like,
why?
I don't know.
Makes it higher scoring games feel more exciting.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's like a football game was like five to four.
Yeah.
Maybe if hockey games had more, but I guess you can't really add something to hockey games.
A far away shot being worth more points?
It should be.
Could be.
Could be.
I know they tried that in Major League Lacrosse for a season.
They had like a three-point goal.
Did it suck?
I don't know if that league is still in business.
I think they combined with the Premier Lacrosse League.
NBA adding an extra, like a harder goal made it better, I think.
More exciting.
More skilled.
Gave it more space.
The three is so important.
Have you guys seen the
downhill ice skaters?
Oh, yeah. It's awesome.
That shit's awesome.
I've never heard...
Those are like Red Bull events.
Red Bull crashed ice.
What?
Red Bull crashed ice.
Crashed ice is what it's called?
Yeah, that shit is awesome.
That sounds like a rain...
Honestly, it looks fun as hell, too.
How does that work? Like, how do they make it? I? Yeah, that shit is awesome. That sounds like a rainforest. Honestly, it looks fun as hell, too. Yeah. How does that work?
Like, how do they make it?
I have no idea how they make it.
Are they going over?
It's like jumps and shit.
I don't know how they made it.
Oh, my God.
That looks terrifying.
This is in Fenway Park.
Oh.
Yeah, it's sick.
Yeah, that's awesome.
This is like a video game.
What? Oh, really? Like, this should be a video game. Yeah, this is awesome this is like a video game what oh
really
this should be a video game
yeah this is fake
this is a video game
this looks like the sport
they play in like
Starship Troopers
that was a sweet sport
yeah
they do the
or like
oh no
this looks like
a rollerball
is that what it's called
a derby
I want to see somebody
get fucked up.
Crash them up.
I think they...
This is insane.
They look goofy as hell.
Oh.
That's how it ends?
They don't really give them a lot of...
There should be more runway.
A lot of room there.
What the fuck?
Who gets fucked up the most?
What sport?
Rugby.
Football.
Well, rugby, that's a beastly crew of men.
Yeah, maybe professional bull riding.
Every once in a while, those guys in wingsuits.
Oh, yeah, they just hit a bridge.
Have you seen that video?
That dong.
Oh, wait, what do you mean fucked up?
Like hurt?
Like, I guess like.
Oh, I thought you meant drink the most.
Oh, yeah.
I thought you meant drink the most. Thatianifies. Yeah. Rugby would be...
That's why I said rugby.
Definitely the wingsuits.
They die.
Yeah, they get turned to mist.
They die so fast and so hard.
They're the most dead people.
Yeah, no one's ever died.
What happens when they die?
They hit like a bridge and then they just explode.
They turn to mist?
They explode?
Yeah, they pop.
Like the dudes in the summer.. Like the dudes in the summer.
Exactly like the dudes in the summer.
I think it was on my Twitter timeline.
Dudes in the what? Oh, the summer.
They're going like a thousand miles per hour
and then they just come to a dead stop.
Yeah.
Their heels end up going through the top of their skull.
Yeah.
That's just all part of the rush, dude.
They just walk it off like they're an accordion.
All part of the rush of the wingsuit lifestyle.
50% of those dudes have to die.
Oh, yeah.
I know it does have the highest mortality rate.
I think you're just doing it until you die.
You're like, no one retires from wingsuit.
No.
You just die. Nobody folds up their wingsuits like I'm dying. Yeah. You're like, no one retires from wingsuit. No. You just die.
Nobody folds up their wingsuits like I'm dying.
No.
No.
They just die hard.
Can you look up the statistics, TJ?
What I've seen.
All right.
So it's 1 in 500 wingsuit jumps results in death.
That's pretty high.
Compare that to a disease.
That is so high.
Yeah.
That's so high.
That is terrible statistics. Yeah. so high. That is terrible statistics.
Compare that to a terrible cancer.
Imagine if flying on airplanes
had a 1 in 500.
Only 400 deaths total, though.
That doesn't...
One death per 5,000 jumps?
There's probably not that many people that do it.
Would it have been 20,000 jumps?
Since 81... That's too many.
400? A 1 in 500 chance of death? do it. Yeah. It would have been 20,000 jumps? Since 81. That's too many. 400.
A one in 500 chance
of death.
What can we compare
that to?
Nothing.
What about like
the Vietnam War?
How many in 500
died in Vietnam?
Probably more than
more in Vietnam.
Korean War?
Living amongst
bears in Alaska.
That guy was 0 for 1.
Must have been a girl, too.
Oh, she got gut?
Yeah, she did.
Yeah, the Grizzly Man documentary didn't even give her any limelight.
Oh, she died in that documentary?
She got mauled to death.
I think she was like...
She got beaten to death as well.
But that was like her first time out there with him, wasn it right but she that's even worse she came to visit him
probably convinced her it was safe he deserved to die he knew he was going to die eventually right
i don't know he got he was so delusional he thought he had some pact in connection with the
bear i thought he called out the bear that was going to kill him yeah he knew that bear was
trouble he knew the bear was trouble but he called out the bear that was going to kill him. He did, yeah. He knew that bear was trouble. He knew the bear was trouble, but he truly
believed that he was...
This one's trouble. Don't mind him,
though. Yeah, and you look into the
bear's eyes and you could see.
See what? You could see that the bear
didn't care about him.
Yeah, obviously. You could look into his eyes and tell all that?
Yeah. Shit. I think he was also...
I think he had something where he was like i'd rather die
than kill and like kill one of the bears by defending myself right he said he wouldn't
shoot yeah he didn't want to shoot one of the bears yeah he didn't deserve to shoot them for
sure so that was suicide too but he did it for fucking a long time right yeah he lasted longer
than people expected and like if you you know if you think
that you hacked the code you're probably like oh i'm good i've been chilling with these bears
eating with these bears right i don't know he wasn't there 24 7 he was there for the summers
didn't that happen to a lion guy too like a guy like uh it happens all the time it's people
they had a lion he He let the lion go,
and then he would go back and visit the lion,
and then eventually the lion killed him.
But I guess mountain lions...
I guess lions kill people,
but mountain lions really don't.
No?
They scare me.
I've seen the videos, though,
of them stalking people
and people who have survived mountain lion attacks.
I think I...
Yeah, I made that up, to be honest.
Chimpanzees rip off faces
like it's the end of a Scooby-Doo episode.
Oh, yeah.
They'll rip your nuts off
and stuff them in your mouth.
And just, like, scream in the nest
if possible during it.
There's always those videos of them in the zoo
and they're just sitting up against the glass,
smiling.
Just waiting.
It's horrifying.
Waiting for somebody to put their arm through the bars.
And they'll just rip your arm off and have it.
I love seeing a gorilla smash glass at a zoo.
They're scary as fuck, too.
Yeah, when they kill baby deers,
they just rip them limb by limb.
They eat them?
Yeah, they will.
They will eat them.
Gorillas do?
Oh, I guess they eat other...
That's the worst way.
It's like, just bite me in the throat, put me out of my misery.
Don't just rip my arm off and rip my leg off.
When the buffalo that I saw get killed in Africa,
they said they bite down on its face and suffocate it.
That's the fastest way than even ripping through their neck.
So they're humane?
I think it's maybe just for expediency's sake.
But then Dan Rappaport
sent me a video that he must be
on a safari right now.
He saw three lions killing
a zebra, dude. It was so insane
and they were going for its neck.
The noises the zebra was making
are haunting.
Hyenas just go for ball sacks.
They grab ball sacks and just latch on.
Yeah.
No.
No.
Those assholes.
I know.
Dudes in Nigeria
just walk around
with pet hyenas.
What?
So did Harley Quinn.
I guess she did.
Where's she from?
She's from New York.
Okay.
She's a New Yorker.
Oh, Harlequin.
Yeah.
Harlequin. I. Harlequin.
I never put that together.
Did you really not?
Swear.
Me neither, honestly.
I'm an idiot.
Is Harlequin a clown?
Yeah, she's the Joker's girlfriend.
It's like a...
He doesn't treat her right.
He's a real dick.
That Joker.
I feel like the Joker's not really fit for a girlfriend.
Isn't he supposed to be like the captain of the incels?
Are you fucking jealous?
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
She should be mine.
If he had a girlfriend, if he had a real girlfriend, he wouldn't be doing all that crazy shit.
He wouldn't be acting up.
Maybe that's what the joker 2 will be about.
Getting pussy?
Yeah, he gets pussy once and he's like, I gotta wash this fucking face paint off.
I look like an idiot.
What the hell am I doing?
He just door dashes some fucking makeup wipes instantly.
Lady Gaga is playing Harley Quinn in the Joker 2.
It's a musical.
It's a musical, yeah.
Come on, bro.
I bet it'll be good.
No, that sucks so bad.
Sucks that we all got to wait for it to get done.
I don't like musical movies.
Yeah, they suck. La La Land sucks so bad. It sucks that we all got to wait for it to get over. I don't like musical movies. Yeah, they suck.
La La Land sucked so bad.
Sweeney Todd was cool.
Sweeney Todd.
Tick, Tick, Boom is the greatest movie of all time.
Oh, no.
I tried to watch that, and it was the shittiest thing I've ever seen.
I switched over to Hyena.
Saturday 90.
Balls.
They're singing happy birthday.
You just want to lay down and cry. That's a musical about a musical. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s. 90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s.
90s. I didn't see that. Yeah, dude. His clips of him being SpongeBob.
Just dancing with the squeaky-ass shoe noise.
I haven't seen it.
And she's like, I gotta fuck this guy.
And Ariana Grande said she had to fuck him,
and he immediately went to his wife and was like,
we're getting divorced.
Oh, yeah.
That's standard, though.
He divorced the fuck out of his wife so viciously.
Just for one sniff of Ariana Grande. he divorced the fuck out of his wife so viciously. Like he just,
just for like one sniff of Ariana Grande.
Yeah.
He just got so lost in it.
And he's SpongeBob.
I haven't seen him.
SpongeBob dance.
It's so funny.
I got to see it.
I want to see it so bad.
She's every race.
Yeah.
There's no,
she's white.
You ever seen the pictures of her with every single race? She's got them all.
It's hilarious.
Hold up the Pokedex.
I guess that SpongeBob guy looks exactly like her brother.
Yeah.
People think it's just like a weird...
It's her brother's name?
...logical thing.
Jump out dead
Mix up a breakfast with my favorite pet snail
Full steam ahead
The SSI in ready is about to set sail.
This kind of day couldn't get much better, but it keeps on trying.
I'm on my way.
Somewhere there's a Krabby Patty that beats for bad.
I thought they would have him wearing a suit or something.
No, that's just SpongeBob.
You really have to suspend your belief.
Damn.
Didn't really do much with that set either.
I think this is on Good Morning America.
Yeah, it looks like it.
Oh, so he's kind of big in the scene, in the Spongebob theater scene?
He's Spongebob.
He was Spongebob on Broadway.
Oh, that's his thing?
Is that how they met?
Well, I don't know.
They must be in something together right now.
Yeah, they have to be in some sort of music.
I could barely believe that he was SpongeBob there.
That's probably the bigger production with him.
You could tell that's Patrick.
Patrick a lesbian?
Perfect day.
Look at him hop.
He's got to be dumb athletic.
He's probably like 5'3 and fucking bouncy.
But he fucks like he's 6'4.
Yeah, he fucks hard.
His dick isn't spongy.
No, no, no.
It's hard.
Hard as the rock that Patrick sleeps on.
He comes from it.
How do you think Big Sean feels?
Oh, yeah. Man. Fine. I think he feels fine. Sean Eskimo Bros was Spongebob. How do you think Big Sean feels? Oh yeah
Fine, I think he feels fine
Big Sean's Eskimo Bros was Spongebob
No, Big Sean's
He's probably just like
She was like the most sought after girl
In America
Was she?
Ariana?
What year?
Top, I would say, 2014
She always just looked like she was 13
Yeah, that's what Yeah, but that's what's good about it.
It's a legal 13-year-old.
That's all part of the appeal.
It is for some.
Yes, exactly, Donnie.
Yeah, I grew up watching her on fucking Nickelodeon.
I forgot she was on that.
Maybe that's how she met SpongeBob.
Yeah, it must be.
Work retreat.
Yeah.
A company picnic.
She just sucks SpongeBob's dick.
Goes home to Pete Davidson.
I would be pissed if my girls started dating SpongeBob.
I mean,
it's just an L for her.
I don't really think...
He dated the hottest
and best of all time.
Who?
Mac Miller?
Mac Miller,
Pete Davidson,
Big Sean.
Like,
these are all pretty...
Those are heavy hitters.
Those are heavy hitters
to have.
Those are nice pelts.
Also,
I mean,
he's more famous
than all of them.
Yeah,
way more famous.
Also,
Pete Davidson
wasn't Pete Davidson
before he started dating Ariana Grande. So, who knows what's going to than all of them. Yeah, way more famous. Also, Pete Davidson wasn't Pete Davidson before he started dating Ariana Grande.
So who knows what's going to happen with SpongeBob.
He was still on Saturday Night Live.
Yeah.
Yeah, but not huge.
He was just like the young kid on Saturday Night Live.
He's going to be like the new Fezco on Euphoria.
Oh, yeah.
He'll probably have some edgy-ass rollbacks.
Fezco, rest in peace, but he was discovered just like working at a restaurant or a bar.
Yeah. He was like, you look perfect for this show I'm casting. Rest in peace But he was Discovered just like Working at a restaurant Or a bar In Brooklyn Yeah
And was like
You look perfect
For this show I'm casting
And then he got the role
Which I mean that's
That was the narrative
But I went to his Wikipedia
And he went to like
The same performance
Performance arts school
As Zendaya
Oh really
Okay
So I don't know
I thought he wasn't
He wasn't a complete
That's propaganda
They tell people
To move to Brooklyn
Yeah they said The same shit With the mid 90's movie Right They were like All these guys I thought he wasn't. He wasn't a complete. That's propaganda they tell people to move to Brooklyn.
Yeah, they said the same thing with the mid-90s movie, right?
They were like, all these guys are real skaters that we found on the street.
And they're all real actors.
Yeah, who have had multiple roles before and after.
It's a real shit.
And Taylor Joy, that girl.
Anya Taylor Joy, yeah.
Anya, she said her career got started. Some model casting agent followed her and her mom down the street,
rambling, just grabbed her and was like, you're going to be a star.
That's a crazy profession.
Yeah.
Scouting teens in the wild?
Yes.
You.
You.
Come to my studio.
It is scary, though, because people will just buy into that.
They'll be like, really, me? Okay. with me. Come to my studio. It is scary though because people will just buy into that.
They'll be like,
really me?
Okay.
Like imagine the people who had that same scam
happen to them
and didn't wind up
being famous.
Who were just told
in the supermarket
with their mom
to follow some guy
and he'll make them
a famous model.
It's probably like
99% of them.
Yeah, that was all
in the malls.
I remember they always
used to just have
like a fucking
table set up.
All fashion shows, too.
Ken Jack is trying to make his cat into a star.
What?
Because I guess he met someone who's like...
What?
Yeah, what?
Ken Jack met someone and they're like,
yeah, my cat does modeling gigs
and brings in an extra 5K a month for us.
Jesus.
And then he's like,
a lot of people tell me my cat's really attractive.
So that's so like,
I don't,
the model agency is just buy a cat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Buy a cat.
That can't be worth it.
Yeah.
What's the budget?
5,000 a month.
You have to hire cats.
Aren't cats like $30?
Yeah.
Those cats are probably free.
They're just out there.
Yeah, so I don't know.
I think they did a photo shoot for the cat.
They're sending it out to modeling agencies.
That's crazy.
Nepo cat.
Kenjags.
Works for Barstool.
We should use it in something.
Kenjak must have had something bad happen to him
yesterday. Why?
His tweet about
the Madison Square Garden is surrounded
by fentanyl.
It's an open-air fentanyl market and
people are dying or overdosing on the
streets and no one's doing anything about it.
Yeah, something triggered that.
Something shitty must have happened to him.
He must have gotten raped or something. That has to about it. Yeah, something triggered that. Something shitty must have happened to him. Right, but he must have gotten raped or something.
That has to be it.
That's honestly what it is, though.
Anytime that you start complaining
about the homeless people,
it's usually something really bad happened to you.
Something just happened to you.
Dude, I walked past you yesterday,
and right after I saw you,
I was threatened to be stabbed
by a shirtless, shoeless man.
The two-dog guy. No, no, no,
another one. He has real long, crazy hair.
Nick got molested at fist point.
Hey!
Spread your cheeks for me.
Okay, as long as
you unclench your fist.
Just put the hand
down.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
But the dude with the
lower your voice.
You can have me any way
you want.
Don't yell.
People are looking.
I got threatened.
I got some dude
threatened to poke me to
death outside of Madison
Square Garden.
Damn.
He said I'm going to poke
you to death.
Damn. That was slang for stab. Yeah. He said, I'm going to poke you to death. Damn.
That was slang for stab. Yeah.
But it was just funny that he said poke.
Yeah. To death.
How long do you think that would last?
It would probably hurt a lot. What if you died after like 15? Yeah.
Oh, this sucks.
If they really went with the thumb, they could probably
Where?
In the heart?
I don't know.
My drafting teacher lost his finger.
He was a machinist, and he had this really calloused nub.
And when you were drafting and you were looking at your phone,
he would poke you real hard in the back of the head with it.
The nub?
Yeah.
There's no nerve endings?
Probably didn't even hurt him.
No, it didn't.
That thing was a club.
Yeah.
So gross. I liked him. What's. No, it didn't. That thing was a club. Yeah. So gross.
I liked him.
What's drafting?
Like the architecture tables and... Oh.
Yeah.
Damn.
What did he just...
How did he lose his shit?
I think machinists lose their fingers all the time.
That's fucking crazy.
Even just working in like a wood shop or some shit.
Anything...
Like even using like a circular saw makes me nervous as fuck.
Circular saw technology is crazy.
As soon as moisture gets about two centimeters away, it drops down.
The saw explodes.
It breaks the saw.
Watch a slow-mo of somebody putting a hot dog through the way.
Crazy, yeah.
Yeah, we had that when I took shop class in eighth grade.
It happened to someone, and it was the loudest bang
because the saw is coming to a complete stop
and shooting down into the thing.
Instantly.
It's crazy.
Did the person get cut?
No, not at all.
What?
It drops that fast.
You have to call the specialist.
It totals the machine.
Yeah, it fucks it up.
Oh.
Oh, he got cut got that's so crazy people must have been losing the
like for that technology to be necessitated people must have been losing no oh dude the
scariest shit about those those uh table saws is that if you when you're cutting something on like
and if you're cutting like a straight line if you accidentally like hit an angle it shoots back yeah it'll shoot back like 30 miles per hour like and just slam the wall behind you
and it's fucking scary that's scarier than i thought that was because i was like well at
least if i hit the saw it'll stop there's a hot dog so that's crazy in slow oh my god
wow that is genius technology yeah in slow... Oh, my God. Wow.
That is genius technology.
Yeah.
Yeah, see, it's all rattling around in there.
Cool.
What the fuck is that even sensing?
How do you sense moisture like that on a...
Well, I'm glad they're making shit like that,
but there must have been just...
There should be a Yak Bruce and stuff
no
it's gonna work
yeah?
yeah
I don't really trust it
I know it does work
but
I would never try
I don't put it on, Tess
let's have these guys throw it on
we'd get Chef Donnie to do it
he would do it
he's probably done it
he wants the wingsuit
knife game that fucking terrifies me. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't even like watching the videos of that.
Yeah, I'm glad he stopped with that.
I don't think he did.
I think he's just...
He's just...
He's getting bored.
I hate when he shows how sharp the knife is, too.
He'll, like, take it to a piece of paper, and it just goes straight through.
Yeah.
That makes me...
That makes me...
Oof.
Did any of you guys Do lower in the bar yesterday
No
What was it
Gold pig's feet
But it's just like
The flesh
You're just like
Peeling the flesh off
And like
Making a sandwich out of it
And it's just so similar
To human flesh
I think tattoo artists
Practice on pig skin
With or without
The pig's consent
Well I don't know
Can you get rid of the scent
No consent Oh These fucking pigs With or without the pig's consent? Oh, I don't know. Can you get rid of the scent?
No consent.
Oh.
These fucking pigs are just tatted up.
Pigs eat my favorite food.
You really like them like that?
Yeah, yeah. We had it at home.
Zah's mom makes a mean pig's trotter.
I can't have them pickled, though, like a raw one pickled.
How do you guys prepare them?
Pan fried?
Stew?
Stew?
Yeah, like stew.
Also fried like a German crispy pork knuckle. That's delicious. raw one pickle. How do you guys prepare them? Pan fry? Stew? Stew? Yeah.
Also fried like a German crispy pork knuckle. That's delicious.
It's great.
Is it meaty?
Very fatty.
Depends on the pig actually.
Depends on some. It tends to be
more fattier than meaty.
But the meat's very tasty.
Americans don't eat enough fat.
Is that true?
Well, just like...
Like healthy fats?
And I was growing up,
I was taught,
oh, you should cut the fat off your steak.
And then when I got to China,
a lot of their pork dishes
just have huge slabs of fat on them.
And people eat them all up.
I started to as well.
They're pretty damn good.
I find that a little hard to digest sometimes, though.
Like something that's too fatty.
Like if I wind up chewing on something too long.
Yeah, that's like a perfectly cooked.
Yeah, I had steak last night and the fat was just closing my eyes while eating it.
Just going, oh, did you make it?
Where did you get it?
No, I got it at the stand.
Oh.
Pretty good steaks over there, huh?
Yeah, really good.
You got good food over there
And good shows
Totally
Have you ever cooked your own steak?
Oh yeah, I make a mean steak
Oh, nuts
Yeah
You know what I like chasing?
Who is this man?
He is touching the ceiling with his head
That is the tallest person I have ever seen in my entire life
That is the tallest person I have ever seen in my entire life. That is the tallest man I've ever seen.
Hunter Dick.
Now Kansas basketball, right?
Holy shit.
6'10".
Saskia, talk to him.
Hell no.
Oh, we have some boys waiting on Zoom to talk to us.
It's one of the Abel Brothers opponent dropped out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, TJ. Yes. His new opponent joining us. It's one of the Able Brothers opponent dropped out. Correct me if I'm wrong, TJ.
Yes. His new opponent
joining us.
Oh.
They're joining.
They're already joining in the process.
They're joining.
They're joining.
West Virginia Wi-Fi might be a problem here.
Yeah, makes sense.
Oh, shit. Did Tyler go out to L.A.?
No. Yes. What, it makes sense. Oh shit, did Tyler go out to LA? No. Yes.
What? Well, you said yesterday.
Oh, the street continued.
That stuff only happens to Tyler.
And only bad stuff happens to Tyler
too, but it works both ways. Tyler
flew to LA yesterday
for a podcast we were supposed
to record today that got
canceled last night, so I didn't
have to fly there. he just flew there and
he's flying back tonight oh and that's his second time this week coming back from well he flew from
la to atlanta last time he loves smoking loud though and he probably gets some good stuff out
good shit out there but he missed his flight to atlanta so he he's like the only thing he can hang
his hat on is the delta points but he missed his his flight to Atlanta, and when they reschedule the flight,
you get no points.
So he's just going left to right.
That's crazy.
With no fucking,
nothing to show for it.
The only thing that he,
poor fucking guy, dude.
And he has a fucking hostel
running out of his house.
Why doesn't he just stay in LA
for a couple days,
take a vacation?
Yeah, why not?
But here we go,
we have some guests on the line.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the heck?
Fleming, you motherfucker. Is this your champion?
Yeah. Fleming, are you
on an edible?
You know what,
this is it. Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, no, I just had a
run over.
Sounding good, hell yeah. I know. I just had a run over. Sounding good.
Sounding good.
They have a sign out of Sparks.
Everything they put to waste.
I know.
That's wheeling Wi-Fi, dude.
It takes like 30 minutes to get you.
Yeah, well, I'm on wheeling Wi-Fi.
I'm on wheeling.
Oh, yeah.
I think Jenks is on wheeling, too.
Are you on wheeling yet, Jenks?
I'm not.
We're getting a single frame at a time right now, Frank.
It's like a Frank PowerPoint.
Yeah, Neuralink is working in Kiev, but not in Wheeling.
Janks, talk to us.
Those eyes are coming in smaller than I've ever seen eyes before.
Janks, you are stepping up.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, fine.
Loud and clear.
Yeah, I mean, I just hear this guy slandering the pirate ship and going after the king.
I figured the least I could do is just fucking hop in a car, come here, and see what I can do.
So you drove to West Virginia?
You know what I think is this?
Yanks has had less than 48 hours to train.
So Mr. Owen Unable is actually in a no-win situation.
He wins, he beats somebody with no training.
I mean, if Janks had a month to train,
Spencer Unable, or Owen Unable as I like to call him,
would have no shot in the world.
No shot in the world.
And if he wins, he beats a guy that didn't have any training.
So this guy is a loser.
He's in a no-win situation.
I mean, this is all about trying to bury the unable brothers.
And if Owen Unable loses this fight,
he should have to change his name permanently to Owen Unable.
That sounds like a cyborg.
It does.
Have you ever boxed before, Jenks?
Oh, no.
No.
No boxing experience.
No fighting experience.
My friends back home are very afraid for my life.
I mean, no.
You've got to be confident with this guy.
Right? You've got to be confident with this guy. Right?
You've got to be pretty confident.
And you're definitely
in better shape than him.
Oh, I didn't say
I'm afraid for my life.
I said my friends are.
Okay.
What's your strategy?
Are you going jabs
or are you just going
haymakers all night?
He has jabs
by probably 100%.
Honestly, it's going to be
spur of the moment.
I'm going to have to feel out how he's moving.
This is Wi-Fi.
I love this.
We only are talking over each other.
When we wait, he freezes out.
This is the world's worst conversation.
This is crazy.
Somebody want to try to talk?
Jakes, I think you're going to wallop him.
Yeah.
It's getting there.
It's getting there.
Oh, no, we lost Jakes.
We lost Jakes, but we got Fleming.
Yeah, Frank.
Oh, no, stay.
Stay, Sass.
Hey, Sass.
This is the best part.
Fleming. Jakes is going to grab one. Yeah, Frank. No, no, stay. Stay, Sass. Stay, Sass. This is the best part. Fleming.
Jenks is going to win easily.
Well, the thing about Spencer Unable is he's famous.
He's the one boxer that actually lost to Glass Joe.
Fleming.
You've been saying a lot of stuff, Frank.
Can you remind us what the genesis of the Able Brothers beef with you is?
What do they have against you?
Because I'm at Elf and Roddy every time I see them lose.
So I just sort of call them the Unable Brothers.
And he came at you.
What did he say to you?
He knocked my hat off.
Oh.
I remember that.
Yeah, you don't do that.
You do not knock someone's hat off.
That's all. Well, I think he's going to—someone do that. You do not knock someone's hat off. That's all.
Well, I think he's going to—someone might be getting their block knocked off.
Go ahead.
I thought that said— They're feeble.
I mean, they're basically the Mets of rough and rowdy.
Amen to that.
Unbelievable.
I think that this—I mean, this is a headliner right now.
If you want a storyline behind a fight, this is the kind of thing that you're looking for.
And this Rough and Rowdy card was pretty complete as it was.
But now that Muerte Blanca, the able brother or unable brother, as Frank calls it, is fighting against Jenks for Frank's honor.
Muerte Blanca, what does that mean?
Did he change his name?
It means dead white.
Yeah, white death,
I think.
Let's just call him dead white.
He changed his name?
Is that graphically correct?
No, that's right. The other Abel brother has a different nickname.
I mean,
that name couldn't scare a fucking old woman.
Yeah, because he's as white as a corpse.
Thank you.
That's why they call him Dead White.
I didn't realize he's 0-4 as well.
Yeah, I assumed he maybe won his first.
Yeah, that's why they call him Owen.
That's why they call him Owen.
He's 0-4.
Oh, my God.
Jenks, has he reached out to you?
Has he acknowledged you, talked any shit on you yet?
Not yet, but I think that'll probably happen in a couple hours at the weigh-in.
Oh, are you in Wheeling now?
Yes.
I left at, like, 5 in the morning with my buddy so I could take my work calls in the car.
Got here at weigh-in tonight.
I'm going to try to get some time with Large
to get my full training in for the fight.
Yeah.
You know, kind of cram it in the night before type of situation.
I did watch Rocky last night, which was super helpful.
That'll do.
And yeah, just jam it out, see what the fuck happens.
I think that you're at an advantage because...
I mean, just keep in mind, this is a guy who has no training.
He's going into the ring completely as if the neophyte doesn't even...
And he has a chance because Spencer Abel sucks.
Just the fact that he has a chance tells you how much the Abel brothers suck.
Oh, man, this is a good match.
It's not bad luck.
They just suck.
Just having a whole month of anxiety would be at a disadvantage for me.
I'd be worrying about it every day, just finding out at the last second that you're doing it.
Only one night of worrying about it, and you're in the shape that you're going to be in,
and you just go and put on a show for the people. Just reason to to buy rough and rowdy you get it on youtube too
you just no matter where you're at what's that brother sorry interrupted no i appreciate that
i was thinking the same thing i mean it probably would have been more stressful waiting for a month
it would have been helpful to like practice boxing but it's going to be an adrenaline fight and i'm
going to go in like a fucking rhinoceros.
The fans are going to get exactly what they want, which is total pandemonium.
And we'll see what happens.
There we go.
Brother, this isn't a boxing match.
This is a brawl.
Ruff and Rowdy's a brawl.
And you're going in there to brawl.
You don't want to worry too much about the ins and outs of boxing.
You're going in there to put on a show, get in a brawl,
and most importantly,
to defend Frank the Tank's honor.
I mean,
my advice would be
don't let him
land a big punch, and
just go at him, and
be aggressive, and
put him on his heels, then make you put him on.
Yes.
Yes.
That's how good manager in the game.
Frank,
do you have any plans for wheeling?
Are you going to like go out to eat tonight?
Do you want any wrecks?
Silver chopsticks.
Silver chopsticks.
That's a good Chinese
well I just
I just
I just went to a place
well
I'll see where I'm going to go
tonight after the weigh in
I'll figure out
we'll figure out something
just text me for Rex
I just finished doing a
raw dog
I just finished doing
a raw dog episode
at a place called
Uncle Pete's
yep I texted you
oh yeah
they have a sign
they have a
sign out there that says it's worth the wait.
And it took 10 minutes just for them to even, like, take my name down.
How was the hot dog?
I mean.
Oh, boy.
Oh, not Uncle Pete's.
I love those guys.
They're ruined.
He'll be out of business in a week now.
Come on, Frank.
I know those guys.
He knows Uncle Pete.
Jesus, I should have never recommended it.
It's in the same building as a physical therapy office.
It'll be spared for a while.
Thank goodness.
Good shit.
Well, Jenks, you're an absolute legend for stepping up.
If people didn't have
a reason to buy
Ruff and Rowdy already,
this is a pretty
fucking good reason
to buy Ruff and Rowdy.
We're going to have
a fight with stakes
inside the Barstool universe
and I guess
may the best man win.
That's the only way
to call that one.
Appreciate you, Frank.
Appreciate you, Jenks.
We'll see you guys
tomorrow at Ruff and Rowdy. You can get that thing on YouTube. Yes, indeed Appreciate you, Frank. Appreciate you, Jenks. We'll see you guys tomorrow at Rough and Rowdy.
You can get that thing on YouTube.
Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Or buy
rnr.com. Appreciate you guys.
Thanks, guys.
Appreciate you guys.
Wow. Spencer Abel has to have
50 pounds on Jenks?
60? I don't know. They've lost
weight since they started.
This is the smaller of the Ables.
Oh, okay.
They're twins, though.
One's big-bodied, though.
One's kind of built like a lunch lady.
Yeah, he is.
Janks is jacked.
Yeah.
Janks is...
I mean, if it was a peck competition,
Janks would be taking them to the cleaners.
Janks is all pecks.
Being Muerte Blanco, choosing to be cleaners. Jenks is all picks.
Seeing Muerte Blanco choosing to be that at 0-4 is really funny.
Except for a rebrand.
I know what the problem's been.
This might be the rebrand, though.
And Muerte Blanco might be 0-0. Has he shown anything in his past fights?
Promise.
They fought against each other.
Very entertaining.
They both went through the ropes, remember?
Yeah, that was awesome.
I was there for that one.
Were you?
Yeah.
It was you and G-Ben.
Yeah.
It's that fucker.
You know in the Hanukkah song
when Adam Sandler's like, the owner of the Seattle Super Sonica the Hanukkah song when Adam Sandler's like the owner of the
Seattle Super Sonica celebrates Hanukkah yeah is he talking about no because when they bought
when they moved him out of Seattle but that when that song came out oh oh that was when he okay so
he he bought them and immediately moved them unless it came out during that one year but that
was already in the 2000s okay so, so that couldn't have been better.
No.
That would have been awesome.
That song for probably like 10 years of my life was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.
Where was the best song?
It's still hilarious.
Yeah.
Good.
His albums were hilarious.
That like, What the Hell Happened To Me comedy album.
And now the severe beating of a high school janitor.
It's just like, why?
That's a preposterous skit to have.
Just like a 45 second skit of a dude just getting the shit beat out of him.
Oh my God.
It was like, that was the pinnacle.
They had the farting hypnotist.
Yeah, yeah.
That one.
Then that, like the grandma who was always like, why don't you play with your cock and balls?
Yeah.
And then the psychotic legend of Uncle Donnie
Was on one of his albums
The fucking goat dude
The toll booth guy bro
There's fucking
Toll booth Willie
Is this music or strictly skits?
No these were just like skits on a CD
Nice
The psychotic legend of Uncle Donnie
He was like
This boat's got more balls than the Celtics locker room
And that's when So he's on like a boat And he's taking his friends Like, this boat's got more balls than the Celtics locker room.
And that's when, so he's on like a boat and he's taking his friends and he accidentally runs over all of his friends while they're trying to water ski.
And then the police come over.
They're like, hey, somehow he does it.
It's incredible.
It sounds so good.
You hear the engine revving and it's like.
Yeah, and the cops come over.
They're like, sir, have you been drinking?
He's like, so I've had a couple glasses of chardonnay what other yeah that's hilarious
and dude one of my uh my friend that lives in new york played basketball with him the other day
everybody in new york my friend just moved to new york like a month or two months ago
and he was playing pickup basketball and he said that someone came over, and he was just like,
do you guys mind if I play with you?
And it was Adam Sandler.
Holy shit.
Didn't someone in this office play against him?
It was Timothy Chalamet.
I'll play with Chalamet.
Yeah, he said it was the day after the Timothy Chalamet thing.
I'd rather shoot hoops with Sandler.
Oh, yeah.
He said he was just crying laughing the whole time.
He couldn't stop laughing. Yeah. How insane it was that he was playing basketball with Adam Sandler. Oh, I. He said he was just crying laughing the whole time. He couldn't stop laughing. Yeah.
How insane it was that he was playing basketball with Adam Sandler.
I thought he was telling jokes.
Yeah, I believe it would be
insane to be there, but
the amount of people that freak out anytime
someone posts a video of Adam Sandler
playing basketball, it's like
he's loved basketball his whole life.
He's a guy. No, no. KB thinks that he
does it all for a fucking show.
That was Nick.
No, no, no, no.
That was KB was hating on it.
I never hated on that.
I mean, dude.
I hate on the fits.
No, it was KB, bro.
Oh, the fits?
Yeah, those are intentional.
No, I think those are just comfortable as hell.
But he changes if he matches too well.
Nah.
You guys are haters.
Haters. guys are haters.
Haters.
They're haters.
They both hate on Adam Sandler.
Like the most wholesome guy.
All right, yeah, I am.
Oh, I guess he matches really well.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ. Yeah.
But he probably, if his shorts are too short, he may change.
Well, he only has baggies probably.
Yeah.
It looks like a fucking blast.
I never see them getting worked, which I think, that's what I don't like. No, he's has baggies probably. It looks like a fucking blast. I never see them getting worked, which I think that's what I don't like.
No, he's a baller.
He's fluid.
Did you see that?
I feel like the guys take it too easy on these celebs.
Like Putin playing hockey.
Yeah.
12 goals.
He's playing against like...
He picks out like...
Livery drivers.
It's like random games.
He's not going to like Rutgers Park.
Yeah, but I want to see him get stuffed once.
Because he's diamond.
I think he's more of just a cool passer.
I'm not a hater.
Yes, you are.
I am.
I know.
I'm trying to hide it.
My friend said that they didn't even ever acknowledge that he was Adam Sandler.
I think that's the move. acknowledge that he was Adam Sandler. I think that's the move.
Oh, guys, I'm Adam Sandler.
Yeah, because the longer of a time you don't make a huge deal of it,
the longer he'll play.
If you start freaking out and making him pause for photos,
he'll find a new court.
He's fucking nice, dude.
Who hasn't hooped with Adam Sandler?
That's what I'm saying.
Everybody in New York gets a chance.
My boy Huey Mack in L.A. hooped with him.
Really?
Yeah.
Of course Huey did.
That's Chalamet
with the hezy hay.
Tween, tween.
They were definitely
going easy on Chalamet.
Yeah.
The soy boy.
His twink ass.
See, that pass by
Adam Sandler went nowhere.
He tried to do
some fancy shit.
I want to know
what movie they're
They're not even trying to play defense on Timothy.
He sweat through his shirt, though.
Well, Sandler's putting in that work.
He's probably got to make up for all the fucking slack from Chalamet.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
What is up, Tim?
Oh, Timothy sucks.
He's better than I would expect.
Sandler was saying his mom had a really hard time watching him die in Uncut Gems
because he's never, like, died in movies before.
Like, he's always done kind of, like, happy-go-lucky movies.
Yeah.
He doesn't die, and, like, his mom was, like, traumatized.
He had to, like, reassure, like.
Click was pretty fucking traumatic.
Ah, yeah.
That movie was sad as hell.
I can't even think about re-watching that.
I'll watch Punch Drunk Love or Spanglish
before I throw up.
Funny People was sad, too.
Funny People was super sad.
Hop on the cobbler.
Cobbler?
Cobbler?
Yeah, I think that's one of his 9-11 movies.
Did he have...
That's My Boy is one of the funniest movies
I've ever seen.
It's Marty Mush's favorite movie.
Really?
That movie's hysterical.
I don't think I've seen it. It's Marty Mush's favorite movie. Really? That movie's hysterical. I don't think I've seen it.
It's funny as fuck.
I don't think I have either.
A Crazy Night's Bro?
No, wait, is that the one that ends with
the plot's about incest?
No.
He just had...
Andy Samberg?
Yeah, but it's not about incest.
His wife's fucking her brother?
No.
Andy Samberg's fiance's fucking...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot about that. That's at the end of the movie. That's like the big... Yeah. Man, that fiance's fucking... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.
That's at the end of the movie.
That's like the big...
Yeah.
Man, that part's fucking hysterical.
It's hilarious.
You would think incest is funny.
It's not.
That shit is not funny.
Not when you're the product of it.
In front of some West Virginia boys,
you're making jokes about incest.
I didn't make any jokes about incest
you're laughing it up
at sea when he goes he's like I think she's cheating on you
and he goes and he like stalks her
and it's just her and her brother just fucking like hard
it's hysterical
let my people go
go
that was beautiful
thank you brother and what do you know about high noon that's what's really beautiful Let my people go. That was beautiful.
Thank you, brother.
And what do you know about high noon?
That's what's really beautiful.
A nice four-pack of high noon.
I want to have a new one.
How?
How?
How?
Everybody was promising free high noon usage, and wow, it's open.
It's new.
Ooh, a lime.
Oh. One for the married man.
Married man, he can have one if he wants.
Tell me what you want.
Pick up on my vibe.
It is all about the vibe.
Are you a watermelon guy?
Oh, no, watermelon is the...
Oh!
That's a high noon no-no.
But that is grapefruit
Nick is a grapefruit guy
KB can I get
Oh
And that was a slippery one
What's happening
I'm like usually athletic
Is all fuck
You are
Athletic is all get out
I mean this better not reflect
On your hacky sack abilities
Two hands
There you go
That's safe
Two hands is always safe
And it doesn't matter
The embarrassment drifts away When you crack into a delicious high noon tequila seltzer.
All real juice.
All real, real seltzer.
Everything's real about it.
It's real tequila, Blanco tequila that you're going to enjoy wherever you're getting it.
You can go to highnoonspears.com to find some near you.
You can go to Drizzly, your local liquor store.
All my boys are cracking open a nice High Noon.
You're going to carry these into the fall.
You're going to want to be sipping these all fall.
Yeah.
No matter where you're at.
Perfect for football season.
Tailgating, outdoors, SEC football, Big Ten football.
Goodness gracious.
September is the nicest month of the year, usually.
Yeah, honestly, in freaking New York these days.
Wow, you're right.
Pulling up at Penn State.
Thank you, K.P.
You're right.
Maybe October.
I love October.
Have you been listening to that song?
Have you been getting it?
I've been getting it everywhere.
It's tough.
Just pulled up at Penn State.
What is that?
What is that?
We're going to have fun.
All our friends are here.
What is this?
This guy, he's like consciously making a college anthem.
It's like the worst lyrics.
He's doing it in the TikTok way where it's like you post the same song a thousand times,
just a little snippet of it.
And he's like, this guy from UCLA got 125 million views.
This guy from Arizona got 190 million views.
I'm about to do the same.
I just pulled up at Penn State.
I need to see it.
The lyrics are terrible.
We're gonna party
till the sun comes up.
Is rap still a thing?
I was gonna say,
I can't believe this is happening
in this year.
It's a wreck.
It's crazy how bad the lyrics are.
I don't think it's that bad, dude.
I mean,
I need it.
Or the melody's not bad.
They're gonna do this for it,
but I sent it to your phones if you wanna play it on your phone. Danny melody's not bad. They're gonna ding us for it, but I sent it to your phones
if you wanna play it on your phone.
Danny Vitale?
Yeah.
They're gonna what us for it?
The lyrics are like,
we're gonna have fun.
He's probably signed by someone.
No, no, he's not signed by anyone.
That rapper,
you know Miles,
that we played?
Oh, no, no.
He's got us?
Yeah, he's got us.
But he's well-deserved by you now.
Oh, yeah.
Penn State.
Oh, man.
Ew, yeah.
I'm going to show this guy.
When you hear his voice come through over it,
because it sounds crispy when you throw all the effects on it,
you know what I mean?
It has the whatever type of.
He does like the L.A. Hawkeye voice.
But his voice cut it through.
What is he saying? Only got one life.
There he is.
Yeah, that's exactly what he looks like.
Of course.
What is the lyric where he's like,
we got all our friends here.
Got all our friends, yeah.
Only got one life, so we're living it up.
Wait, why are all the comments like, this is fire?
Are they joking?
No, no, people are flaming it.
Because they probably just pulled up to Penn State.
Just pulled up to Penn State.
This is definitely one of the songs of all time.
This is definitely one.
I think I'm going to call this one Pasta.
But all of his TikTok is like this song over and over and over again.
There's no way he's doing it.
He keeps promoting it.
He's promoting it, and then maybe he'll give another line.
But he might only have this.
Let's see if he can capture magic in a bottle twice.
The second song.
No, it's got to be this.
This is the one.
He knows it's the one.
He got four bars in, and he's like, I can put it out.
We got all our friends, yeah.
We got all our friends, yeah.
We only live once, so we're about to have fun.
He could just swap that out with any college.
Oh, yeah.
We're 100%.
We got to Arizona.
Yeah.
Now I got eight.
Just put up to DePaul, yeah.
Go on.
In the middle of the fall, yeah.
Every college it works, bro.
Xavier.
Just put up to Xavier.
Feeling like a savior.
Just put up to Xavier.
Homie got the Xanax.
Yep.
Beautiful. Perfect. Beautiful.
About to pop a few and lose our minds.
We got all our friends, yeah.
It's the worst lyric.
Yeah, we got all our friends, yeah. We got all our friends, yeah.
We got all our friends, yeah.
We about to party till the sun comes up.
See, like five years ago, you would post that video and 61 people would see it.
Yeah.
Now with TikTok, it's bad.
The fact that we had both seen it and TJ had seen it. He's infusing it into the algorithm.
Yeah.
That shit works, but you can't govern people's reaction.
But also, you could have put that out 12 years ago and it might have, it might have like,
could have popped,
yeah.
It might have gone crazy.
Every campus.
He probably looks up to you.
That's why I kind of
want to talk shit on him.
Yeah.
He's probably got like
a poster of you on his wall.
But he's also probably
fucking off this song.
Let's be honest.
Like he's at Penn State,
there's like 45.
There's a reason he's posting it.
There's some hot girls
who are like,
this is really fucking.
Yeah,
he's getting positive.
Yeah.
I think this is going to be big.
Bro, hop on the track.
Yeah, I can.
You should do a verse.
I can.
I could do that for him.
Reverse.
Say it right now.
I would need to hear what the whole verse was or the whole beat was.
I have to go have diarrhea.
Really bad.
See how long you can hold out.
I want to see you sprint to the bathroom. Can you play the audio? Audio. Call us in. I want. Red Bull. See how long you can hold out. I want to see you sprint to the bathroom.
Can you play the audio?
Audio.
Call us in.
I want to hear it.
Call in.
Come on.
Come on, dude.
Absolutely not.
Is it going to be that bad?
What was the number one frat rat anthem back in the day?
I mean, I Love College by Asher Roth opened the floodgates.
But you know Sammy Adams was on.
Then he followed up with, I hate college but love all the parties.
Who had those?
Oh, no, Sammy Adams had that one.
Asher Roth started it.
Asher Roth.
And then who else?
I mean, there was a lot.
Young and Wild and Free.
Yeah, true.
So what we get drunk.
Yeah, but that was by Wiz Khalifa
Snoop Dogg right
yeah I would say like Mike
Studd oh yeah
just Mike now
Mike Posner too
Mike Posner was at Duke making music
and shit like that he definitely has some
shitty bang OCD
motion twist
was Mike Studd in our
ground up was Mike Studd in our ground up?
Was Mike Studd in our COVID beer pong tournament?
I think so.
I think he's been in a lot of beer pong tournaments.
Probably more than anyone in the world.
He's been in more than he's not.
Yeah.
He's like the Joey Chestnut of beer pong tournaments.
She is.
When I think of Mike Studd, I picture a beer pong table.
But he tried to rebrand and no longer makes that frat rap genre.
He dropped the stud.
Now he makes sort of like country hip-hop, sort of like R&B stuff.
Some of it's not bad, not going to lie.
It is good.
I was getting into Atlanta high school football disses.
Every local school was dropping them
in like 20 years ago or 15 years ago.
Rap songs?
Mm-hmm.
Really?
Were they, how serious did it get?
Crazy, all the rivalries.
Boom, boom, boom.
Interesting.
I've been watching British people
go to high school football games for the first time.
Do they like it?
They think it's like a movie
because they didn't think there was actually cheerleaders and bands.
Oh my God, it's real.
I feel like I'm in a Disney Channel film.
They do portray high school football games
almost like it's not proportionate
to how many high school football games there are,
how much they are in movies and American pop culture. It's very American. Did you see that new high school football games there are how much they are in movies and american pop culture it's very american did you see that new high school football stadium in texas
it's like 10 000 i thought that was a fake it's preposterous but it is a big part of our culture
but i didn't realize that other cultures noticed that about our culture oh yeah british people like
they always ask me that they're like so is is high school in America just like the movies?
Like, you've got the high school quarterback dating the captain of the cheerleading team.
And, I mean, at my high school, it was not like that.
The cheerleading team wasn't really the cream of the crop.
The quarterback's like closeted gay and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Wow.
$35 million.
The school has 1,300
students?
That's not enough.
I wish they found oil in
Pennsylvania or something like that.
They did. Is that a practice
facility? Oh my god.
They found like natural gas.
Isn't that actually where they first found oil?
Is it actually in Pennsylvania?
Yeah.
A lot of people from our area got rich off of it.
Fracking?
Then I wish I got some of that fracking money.
Or mineral.
I need to get in like the minerals game.
Yeah, we got like homies that are oil tycoons now.
Yeah.
For real?
Yeah.
It's always weird one of your homies becomes a tycoon.
That's so annoying probably.
Unless you reap the benefits.
But you probably have to wear like big ass belt buckles, 10 gallon hats. That's so annoying probably unless you reap the benefits, but you probably have to wear like big ass belt buckles,
10 gallon hats.
That's pretty cool.
I feel like China is going to town trying to get some minerals in Africa right now.
I feel like they're going to Africa and they're like,
Oh,
we're about to fucking rip it up and get some fresh ass minerals.
They,
yeah,
they actually own like tons of land there.
Yeah.
China.
Yeah.
They're trying to get mineral from what country? Uh, Niger. Yeah, they actually own tons of land there. Yeah. China? Yeah. A lot of Africa?
They're trying to get mineral from what country?
Niger?
Wow.
Niger.
Where else?
You know any others?
Everywhere.
Everywhere? Pretty much the whole continent.
My mom is actually mining gold.
What?
Yeah.
Go.
Actually, at Pueblo.
You remember Pueblo?
My cousin Pueblo?
Yeah.
On his farm.
Yeah.
Oh.
They found, well, they just got the claims, but they did the detective things, and apparently
they're sitting on a shit ton of gold.
What?
Oh, what?
Are they worried about the Zimbabwe government, though, coming in to interfere?
That's the thing about commodities in Africa.
Once they start coming out the ground, you have to constantly have a gun on them until the money's in your bank account.
So once they actually start coming out the ground, people will hear about it.
Damn, should we scrub this from the episode?
I feel like we're putting your mom in danger.
She's on a gold mine?
She's literally living on a real gold mine?
Real gold mine.
What the fuck?
That's insane.
A lot of people.
Is there a potential you become a billionaire?
That better happen fucking fast.
I'm waiting for it.
I know.
I'm waiting for it.
Would you buy a soccer team?
No.
Michael Jordan's mansion in Chicago?
Ooh.
That would be nice.
With Zaha across the gates in the Iron.
Yeah, but it's capital intensive, so it takes a while.
Well, let's throw some money together.
There you go.
If you want to invest, guys.
Can we?
My Venmo, at the Midget Zimbo, if you want to invest.
Yeah.
Oh, we're a part of that.
Yeah, Zah, that could be you, bro.
Only 15?
That's light.
Zah, are you cool with the nation of Botswana?
Uh, yeah.
As of right now, yeah.
I just watched a video on their come up.
I didn't realize it was.
Yeah, I lived there for four months.
Diamonds and gold.
Yeah, yeah.
That's where I went abroad in college.
Is that one of the better places to live in?
They're doing great.
Yeah.
Right now, yeah.
In a short period of time.
Because they found all their diamonds Right after they gained Independence
Independence from the British
Yeah
Oh they definitely were like waiting
They definitely knew the diamonds were there
Yeah
You don't know
Yeah
And they've actually been using the wealth
For good causes
Normally the government just hoards it all for themselves
But now like
If you have AIDS in Botswana
You get free healthcare your entire life.
So there's not a lot of homeless people there.
That's awesome.
Is Botswana coastal?
No.
No, it's not?
Interesting.
Namibia is the one that's far.
Oh, got you, got you.
So you said it's rich there.
Does it attract tourists?
For safaris.
Namibia is amazing.
Oh, Francis went there, I think.
Botswana for the...
Great migration, maybe?
The Okavanga Delta, which is the largest inland delta in the world.
Let's go.
That must be music to your ears, KB, hearing people talk about geography like that.
Yeah, I love it.
The Okavanga Delta.
Damn.
Not much of a nightlife, though, so I was kind of pissed I chose to go there abroad.
Like, I was living in some town where they just turned off all electricity at midnight.
No.
They had, like, one local bar.
Meanwhile, all my friends were in, like, Australia, Barcelona.
You're drinking beer by candlelight?
Yeah.
Damn.
What were you about to say, Zah?
We should do the Delta, Donnie.
We should do the Delta in South Africa. Yeah, I'm interested in that? We should do the Delta, Donnie. We should do the Delta in South Africa.
I'm interested in that.
We should do the Delta, the penguins in South Africa.
South Africa's having some hiccups right now, aren't they?
Yeah, bro, it's popping off in the ghettos.
It's popping off.
Yeah.
They don't want the townships.
They want them out.
Yeah, that's fucked.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out.
They want them out. Yeah, that's fucked. France is in trouble. Niger has some crazy shit going on, too. There's a revolution going on there, or a coup, a military coup.
Yeah, they're trying to kick the French out.
And they had, like, some president who's, like, holed up,
but the French are trying to, I don't know,
some crazy shit's going on out there right now.
China has, like, its own police force in Africa
just to protect all of its citizens that are there.
Yeah, they're trying to come up off Africa. aren't they building a bunch of shit mowing down
fucking forest building infrastructure yeah like the u.s gives africa a lot of money but then
they're like all right you need to like abide by our like human rights regulations and you have to
do this and that and then china just gives these countries a bunch of money. And they're like, as long as you let us operate in your country,
you don't have to do a thing.
They got a mine for Houston Rockets gear.
Speaking of tequila sodas, vodka sodas, at my wedding in Ireland,
bartenders there don't really know what to do when you order a vodka soda.
You get very confused.
I guess it's just not a drink.
They don't have soda water.
The directions are in the name.
That's one of the easier drinks to make.
What they do, they're like, oh, a vodka soda.
So they just pour a shot of vodka into a cup of ice and then just give you a small bottle of soda water.
On the side.
Yeah.
I guess that makes sense.
DIY vodka soda. I mean, they could just pour water. On the side. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. DIY vodka soda?
I mean, they could just pour it in there for you.
Yeah, but they were just kind of like taken off guard by it.
Were they more tonic country?
Quainine country?
I'm sure that you could get a gin and tonic there.
That's like a very kind of –
Worldly drink?
Yeah.
Bloody Marys, they did not know what that
was oh that sucks probably like that uh like you've been you've been wanting bloody marys lately
i've always been a bloody merry guy are you in tomorrow yeah do we have some bloody marys on
the show sure i'm not gonna be here just stood up to pass day you know how my friends yeah
you're about to party till the sun comes up do you think he ever wrote the lyrics down?
Did he just go?
I think he went.
No, I bet he wrote them down.
I bet he worked that out for hours.
I'm with my friends.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
I was just in the studio, and that shit just came to me.
I mean, it's in all of our heads.
It's earworm.
You can't hate on him because he made a perfect earworm.
He's making a banger.
But then when his voice comes over the top,
he's going to need to carry around an auto-tune with him.
So that's his new speaking voice.
Because you can't go back and forth.
There's other...
Oh, man, I want to hear the first line.
I want to hear the whole song, but he's just teasing us.
And it's fucking working.
So the full song is not, not like on Spotify, you think?
I don't think so.
Party till the sun comes up.
We're right here at Penn State.
You know how it is, yeah.
We got life, so we're living it up.
We're living it up.
We're right here at Penn State.
Everybody's right here at Penn State.
Danny Vitale, bro. We're all right here at Penn State. Everybody's right here at Penn State. Danny Vitale, bro.
All right here at Penn State.
We're only young once, yeah.
Oh, the name says, I think I'm going to call this one dot, dot, dot, Penn State.
Oh, hell yes.
Friday, wrote a song about Colorado Boulder, 13 million streams. Oh, hell yes. Oh, yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes. Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes.
Oh, hell yes. Yeah.
Oh, man.
What was the one about Colorado?
Someone wrote a song about Colorado, got 13 million streams.
Oh, that's the chain smoker.
That's one billion streams.
Yeah, that can't be UCLA anthem, is it?
That's the Colorado, UC Boulder. UCLA is, I'm in UCLA.
That's a good song.
It's about California.
Yeah.
You're trying to write a song about central Pennsylvania.
California is a genre of music.
Yeah.
It's that voice, kind of.
Have you ever seen,
have you guys seen those?
I keep on getting them
on my Instagram
and they'll be like
20 songs that I wish
everyone would hear
before they die
and it's just like
the 20 most famous songs
of all time.
They do that a lot at work.
Like Stairway to Heaven.
Never heard that.
Yeah.
Smells like teen spirit
and it's just like, it's just like a dude who
lists off all the songs then he's like in the background and he's like dancing
dude i got uh on my tiktok i had a screenshot it dale earnhardt crash do not attempt yeah
i'm not gonna do that don't think i will no but he had to put that there else tiktok would take
it moved it down yeah is this instructions on how to do a Dale Earnhardt crash?
Guys, you guys want to go out after this
and try to do the Dale Earnhardt crash?
You've got to try.
It's the challenge, the Dale Earnhardt crash challenge.
TikTok has been getting out of hand.
Glennie Balls posted...
Let me swallow first.
Sure, yeah.
Glennie Balls posted a video of some girl calling him fat on TikTok,
and then it was removed from his own TikTok for bullying.
I'm just looking out for him.
He just posted it?
You don't have to do it, bro.
He thought it was kind of funny.
It was some OnlyFans girl just like...
You don't have to take this, bro.
What did she say?
You'd have to ask him, but it got removed immediately.
I mean, I think it's automatically,
like, it's not necessarily an insult to call someone fat.
No.
And that's what the fat people are pushing.
They're like, no, it's normalized.
And so it's really the TikTok algorithm
is the one who is taking that as an insult,
which means they see something wrong with being fat.
Yeah.
Which maybe, I guess, if it's a Chinese app.
Absolutely. It's based in China. Obviously, they see a problem with that. Yeah Yeah. Which maybe, I guess, is the Chinese app. Absolutely.
It's based in China.
Obviously, they see a problem with that.
Yeah, we got to defend these fucking heifers.
I was nicked for calling myself a midget.
No way.
Which I am, man.
Wait, isn't that your handle?
Yeah.
That's so fucked.
Stop bullying him.
Leave him alone.
But, Zaw, what percentage are against that
word uh it's it's political it's it's american it's the little people of america that that that
the americans yeah is that like a society the little people of america yeah they're there yeah
they're like they're like the screen actors they They're like the Sag of the budget.
It's Union.
Downstrike, yeah.
There's a pedophile one.
Is there a pedophile?
Actually, yeah. Ambler, yeah.
Some people were very pissed because they're no longer,
they're remaking Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,
but they're not casting little people in those roles.
That's major checks.
There was like half of the community was for it and half were against it, though.
Like Hornswoggle.
Peter Dinklage was very against it.
Peter Dinklage was like, they shouldn't cast.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
But Peter Dinklage played a giant in one of those Marvel movies.
Right.
And also Peter Dinklage has been getting paid for the last 10 fucking years.
I want to eat.
He's a giant elf.
He eats.
Everybody else doesn't get to sit at the table.
Right?
What a selfish prick. I want to eat. He's an elf. He eats. Everybody else doesn't get to sit at the table. Right? What a selfish prick.
I want to eat.
That bastard.
That absolute bastard.
I'm always changing terms.
It's so fucked up.
Just switching around the terms of what's acceptable.
Because that doesn't trickle down to the whole community.
There's no fucking everybody's not subscribing to whatever some fucking deep organization of just a few people is saying.
That shit doesn't spread far and wide.
That's for the elites to be able to be like, you can't say that.
Yeah, there's not a lot of jobs for little people in Hollywood.
So when they remake Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, you think that's your time to shine.
Yeah, put some of the fellas in there.
The fellas.
Let the fellas eat.
The fellas want to eat.
We should beat the shit out of the fucking...
So who's going to play the dwarves?
Probably Hunter Dickinson.
They're not dwarves.
It's like...
Yeah, they're just...
Yeah, it's like a multicultural cast of homeless-looking people.
Yeah.
Like, you can actually find a photo online.
One's wheelchair-bound.
Oh, my God.
It's John Boyega, the kid from the Penn State song.
Yeah.
It's those two.
Party till the sun comes out.
Cause we all right here in Penn State.
Party till the sun comes out.
Up next to Snow White, cause we're out of fat laps. Oh, hell no.
That's just a crew.
That's a theater troupe.
Yes, that's a theater troupe.
This is the hook.
Those are just seven regular gay people.
Yeah.
What the hell is this?
Is that one dwarf in the front?
Yeah.
Is he a traitor?
Kind of, yeah.
It's a fucking scalp.
He crossed the picket line.
Bullshit.
The girl that's playing Snow White 2 is getting crucified for how she's describing it.
She's getting ripped apart.
It's not the regular Snow White story either.
There's no Prince Charming cast in the movie.
And it's like a girl boss Snow White.
Yeah, her interviews are different.
Like Snow White fucking sucks.
Yeah.
She hates Snow White.
And maybe she's not kissed because they were like, oh, this dude just kissed a passed out chick.
But she consensually gets a train running her by the dwarves.
Yeah.
She's a freak.
An inclusive freak.
If they were like, you're going to die or you're going to have this person kiss you,
I'd be like, yeah, let him kiss me.
Yeah.
She wakes up, and Prince Charming got me too'd, man.
Yeah.
Instead of a rose, it's just a curled dildo on her chest that she sleeps with.
This is all I need.
Oh, man.
Fucking Snow White.
I know that song.
It's going to be a lesbian with a buzz cut.
G.I. Jane.
Just rolled up to the beach, sipping on a high noon.
Pretty good.
We about to party till the sun comes up.
Because we all right here at Penn State.
Is everyone really right there at Penn State?
Are we all there at Penn State?
Penn State.
This is more of a state of mind.
I think the first line of the song is that.
That's your song, Penn State.
Because we're happy in the valley.
Penn State of mind.
That is cool.
It's too much.
It's too deep.
People aren't going to get that.
Penn State of emergency. Holy shit. People aren't going to get that. And state of emergency.
Holy shit.
And state of the union.
Oh.
That's the rebrand that Penn State needs.
Someone said in the comments that it was the worst that's happened to Penn State since Sandusky.
Oh, my God.
Just pull up the top
Singing acapella
Oh nice
That song after we watched that shit
I just had sex
It was in my head for a fucking week
It felt so good
It felt so good
I wanna put my penis inside of her.
That's hilarious.
You're legitimately good at that.
I just had sex.
And they have the one black dude in the group.
I'm like, all right, break it down.
Break down the rap part.
Break it down.
Get out of here and break it down.
And it felt so good.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
One, two, three, all at the same time.
One, two.
I'm not doing this.
He doesn't like to do group singing.
I don't like to do anything synchronized.
The day when they pick out the person who,
and the winner of the solo for I Just Had Sex is Dashwon Fan.
He's just super excited.
Yes.
I'll circle him around
and hug him.
You would play that
on the aux
and that was like
telling 10 jokes.
Oh yeah.
Yourself.
Like girls would laugh at you.
Or like the Mickey Avalon song.
Oh my dick.
My dick.
That's actually
Hurt Nasty.
Hurt Nasty yeah.
That's the homie though. Yeah yeah. That's the homie, though.
Yeah?
Hey, that's the homie, though.
It's my boy name.
His movie that he came out with last summer was really good.
He was actually supposed to come out with...
I had Robbie, Dad.
Yeah.
It was good, but it was about...
Yeah, I used to love him.
Good guy.
Why'd you stop loving him, man?
He was in a rap group with Andy Milonakis.
Yeah.
Trace Loco or Three Loco, whatace Loco or Three Loco, I think.
Yeah.
They were good.
I think, yeah.
That's your boy, Andy Milonakis.
Yeah, he's the guy.
I think he's back in Queens now.
We're supposed to link up.
Haven't yet, but he's a good guy.
Sass, how's the diarrhea?
It wasn't satisfying. It was kind of just like
the first wave.
So you're not done? Not even close.
You just sent out the scouts.
Yeah. It was more of like a
first blast. The initial blast.
Send a sentry
over to the toilet.
It was not good, though.
It didn't feel good.
It wasn't satisfying.
I fucking bet.
What is...
Isn't there a lyric?
There's a Migos lyric about Andy Milonakis.
Probably.
Really?
What happened?
You almost just fell over?
I spilled my high noon.
That would have been devastating.
In call casting.
Do-do-do-do.
Really good Bloody Marys are so much better than a really bad Bloody Mary.
The ceiling to floor is such a 20-foot ceiling.
A gross Bloody Mary on an airplane or some shit.
I don't even think I've had a Bloody Mary.
Really?
Never.
Just a Bloody Mary.
What?
But like a thick-ass chunky one that's fucking got some horseradish in it
or something.
Do you like a slice of bacon?
It needs to be thick. It can't be like soupy.
Here you go, Sass.
White boys in the game.
White.
Call him Andy Milonakis.
Call him Andy Milonakis.
Hey, Tom, corner shot.
He won't hesitate to shoot him.
White boys in the game.
Call him Andy Milonakis. He ball corner pocket. White boys in the game. Call him Andy Militinakis.
So he just represents all white boys?
Yeah, I think so.
White boys in the game at least.
That's sick though because...
I probably represent white boys on the sidelines.
White boys sitting this one out.
It's my number one celebrity lookalike.
Chief Keith?
I guess I see it.
There's Zahn TJ in the booth.
I see it in the double cup.
Damn.
Have you ever drank lean, Ron?
A little bit.
I'd be around people that would be like,
yo, you want to have a sip of lean?
I got lean when I was visiting Zahn in Zimbabwe because that's huge out there. Lean's huge out there? drank lean ron a little bit around people that would be like yo you want to have a sip i got
lean when i was visiting zhan zimbabwe because that's huge out there means huge out there yeah
oh yeah i'd forgotten about that one of his cousins was like i got an extra bottle of lean
for you so i i brought it to the airport no you didn't you can travel with it and then poured it
in a sprite um and then i think you're supposed to like melt a jolly rancher
in it or something sometimes too but i just did a sprite and lean and just pounded it at the airport
did you get fucked up um was it everything was it both parts of it yeah i was i was like i was high
it's like wasn't super enjoyable i'm not looking forward to doing it again. You don't have to, man.
Yeah, no, I guess.
I'm looking forward.
Do you have a plan that something's coming up soon?
I'm probably not going to do it again.
Like it's a Jewish holiday or something.
I've been dreading this.
The Houston Seder.
You're following a cream soda.
You're following the deck.
I just felt kind of like dazed and off balance.
Were you having Faygo dreams?
I may have had
some Fuego dreams on that night.
That sentence has never been said with a voice like that.
I was like the Penn State guy.
Did you say, is it Faygo dreams?
Faygo dreams. It's a six dog song.
Oh. R.I.P.
Faygo was the soda that they were pouring into it, I think.
Cream soda Faygo.
Yeah.
Shout out Zaz Cousin for the lean connect.
Yeah, no, we call it bronco down there.
Bronco?
Did you do the glue, too, or no?
The glue?
They smoked a bunch of glue?
Not do the glue.
Okay.
Yeah, no, yeah.
Glue's big.
Yeah, you put glue in, like, a plastic, like a milk plastic thing, and, yeah. Glue's big. Yeah. You put glue in like a plastic
and like a milk plastic thing and you
smoke it out of there. Right, I heard they do that
in Ethiopia too. Yeah, no, it's crazy.
Smoking glue? Cause that's all they
have. Yeah, bro. If you
have no money and you're trying to get fucked up,
you just pour out some Elmer's. Yeah, you were
telling us. It is a straight up Elmer's? Weren't you somewhere where they were doing that?
In Ethiopia. Yeah. The two
things they did were glue and literal huffing exhaust.
It fucks you up.
So we call it stick.
We call it stick because once you hit it, you're stuck in the position for 30 minutes.
It's like they should just call it glue.
Yeah.
We could.
Wait a second.
We're stuck like glue.
But there were dudes who were seizing out on the streets.
People were like, and then the few tourists that there were would come up and try and revive them.
People would be like, no, no, he's just.
He's glued out.
He's just on glue or exhaust.
He's got glue brain.
Yeah, that's if you couldn't afford the cut.
Glue brain's got to be brutal.
Yeah.
After just huffing glue or smoking a hole did you do
that wrong did you do cut i did but it didn't work like we ate we literally sat in the fucking like
they made it like they were super excited was the day after this guy's like fourth wedding
ceremony and we sat in this big circle with like the mats on the floor everybody had the johnny
walker black we were set up with our big ass pile of leaves.
It looked like a spinach salad,
like this fucking big in front of us.
And we just chewed for fucking four hours straight.
And we got, we didn't get fucked up at all.
They said it was going to be a mixture of Viagra,
Adderall, and weed.
These are leaves?
Leaves that you chew and like you put into like,
almost like fucking throw it into a pouch.
Right, Zaw?
Kind of like a lip. Kind of like a like a lip yeah but you're chewing it down and it tastes like leaves off of and they said what did
they how did they describe the sensation like what did they advertise weed viagra and adderall
simultaneously and they said everybody does it like all day but But the shit that we got, we were like two hours outside of the Viagra portion of that concoction.
I mean, it's just a leaf, I guess, that makes.
Yeah.
It's horny.
It's horny.
I've heard it's like somewhere in between coffee and cocaine.
Yeah.
But people are just there's like shortages of it.
And I guess we got a bad batch.
I think you have to harvest it.
And within a certain amount of time, you have to consume it or else it turns
or it just turns
and doesn't do shit.
Yeah,
you guys got that black market bunk.
I swear to God we did.
You ever do some,
like doing bunk
will ruin your whole weekend.
Doing a dud
when you think you're gonna get high as hell.
Yeah,
you just gotta sell the rest of the duds
to someone else
to make your money back.
After you realize it's a dud
after like two hours
then you become the biggest fiend
for anything else. Right. Or you just sell it to like a younger kid two hours, then you become the biggest fiend for anything else.
Right.
Or you just sell it to like a younger kid.
Like, oh, these are fake pills?
Yeah.
Slightly Stupid's got a whole song about that.
Do they?
Couldn't get high.
Yeah, it's a devastating feeling.
Fucking hate when I can't get high.
But the time doing Cot was still fun because we were just bullshitting around, telling stories.
That's the high right there.
It was the high.
We were just like drinking and like. Yeah, that's awesome. Friends it was the high we were just like drinking and like that's awesome friendship was the high all
along who would have thought yeah it was the memories that we made we're in adi's telling
or bishoftu telling stories bro it was fucking lovely on some yeah i guess in like yemen and
everybody gets a four-hour cop break in the middle of the day right it's like part of the culture
like the government officials are all doing it.
Doing what is it called? Cot.
Hot? Cot.
It's just like a drug. It's a mix of Viagra,
weed, and Adderall.
That's what they say the high feels
like. So you just get hard and focused?
Yeah, and then I'm preaching at the same
time too. Did Vice send like a British
to do it? They probably sent like
Louis Theroux. They have to send their biggest
To try this hardened street drug
That's my favorite shot
You get hard focused and scared
All at once
I want to fuck you
But I'm kind of scared to
I can't stop looking at your pussy
But I'm afraid to fuck you
I need more of this I'm afraid to fuck you. I need more of this.
I'm going to do this every day.
I want to feel like this always.
Yeah, this is good.
I'm glad I'm not
experiencing just one of these things.
You said you did it and it worked, Zah?
Or you got fucked up off of it?
The cut?
What was it like?
Is that an accurate representation?
So I was more chipper-y.
I was more, I was like a, it wasn't as, so it wasn't as bad as Coke, but it was more,
for me, it was more on that side.
You said coffee and Coke.
You said coffee and Coke.
Because you mentioned, sorry, I didn't say that you were doing it. It wasn't as bad as that. You said coffee and coke. You said coffee and coke. Because you mentioned, sorry, I didn't say that to Adonis.
It wasn't as bad as that.
But it was more on that side
than like a lazy,
chilled,
sit back high kind of thing.
There's a little buzz to it.
But I've only,
I did it once in what,
I was back in like 2013.
Yeah.
And then there were like
multiple busts,
I think at the Philadelphia,
maybe the airport
or maybe just the port
in Philadelphia
of maybe like a ton, like so much cot that they found.
But I think that it doesn't even make sense to freeze-dry it and send it overseas
because it maybe loses its potency.
Yeah.
Or I don't know.
Sounds like it would.
I would love to do it.
If it's a leaf that you can chew,
that seems pretty in line with the drugs that we're legalizing in the United States.
Like we have tobacco legal, weed legal, mushrooms pretty close to legal.
Kratom.
Kratom legal.
Kava, which Frank the Tank was doing.
Yeah, we did Kava.
That store shut down.
Kava was.
Frank's Kava store shut down.
Really?
Really?
Oh, fuck.
There it is.
Yeah, Kava was not fun.
It made my mouth numb.
Instant.
Numb, yeah.
And it tasted like shit.
Yeah, it tasted so fucking bad. It just tasted mouth numb. Instant. Numb, yeah. And it tasted like shit. Yeah, it tasted so fucking bad.
It just tasted like mud.
Yeah, I guess that's huge in like America, Samoa, and all the American territories in the Pacific.
They love kava.
Yeah.
Like the consistency of it was like thinner than water.
It was disgusting.
Thinner than water?
Yeah.
I swear it was.
It was.
It tasted so, it was such a weird. I hate things that taste thin. It was room temperature. It was a disgusting Thinner than water? I swear it was. It was. It tasted so, it was such a weird.
I hate things that taste thin.
It was room temperature.
It's a disgusting idea of a thought.
Remember it was like, remember it came in like a cup and they were like.
Half filled.
Half filled.
The cups looked dirty.
Yeah.
Dirty as hell.
Like they just reused cups.
It was the only cava on like Uber Eats.
And that place has already gone out of business?
No, no.
Frank did a video for us out of business.
So like Frank must have been their last resort.
Oh, yeah.
Well, they probably splurged on it.
It's like a Hail Mary.
Well, if you have a kava injury, maybe the right people to call are Morgan & Morgan.
Definitely.
To be honest.
If you, you know, writing a sketch comedy show is hard, Seth.
This one goes out to you.
But hiring Morgan & Morgan is easy.
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but submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy. Moving your entire life to a new city is
hard, but submitting an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy. Drinking a cup of kava is probably hard, but submitting
an injury claim with Morgan & Morgan is easy.
Some
shot will probably make you hard,
but submitting an injury claim with
Morgan & Morgan is easy.
If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan &
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That's forthepeople.com slash yak
or pound law,
pound 529 from your cell.
This is a paid advertisement.
Yeah, believe it or not,
that was a paid advertisement.
How did I do?
Donnie, you read along?
Yeah.
Did you miss anything? That's crazy. I thought you were just going off. Nothing I could do., that was a paid advertisement. How did I do? Donnie, you read along? Yeah. Did you miss anything?
That's crazy.
I thought you were just going off.
Nothing I could do.
That's actually a paid advertisement, as much as it sounds like I integrated that.
That was actually paid.
But shout out to the guys at Morgan & Morgan, because if you mess with them, you could get paid.
Yup.
You could be the one who's getting paid.
Why are you looking out at the door, Kyle?
Oh, my God.
I had to play a dozen.
Oh.
So, should we spin the wheel?
What time do you have to play?
Three?
Yes, three.
I'm good.
Okay, what's under three?
We about to party till the sun comes up.
Yeah, I just pulled up to yak you.
Pulled up with a snack, too.
Shorty's gonna love me till the sun comes up gotta cover up my
hickey spinning game like nicky getting kb's wild yeah we're living it up what the fuck
that's from connor griffin he blessed us with some lyrics and for a guy that's never listened
to a song he kind of knows exactly how it goes dry Like that gin that they were serving at Donnie's wedding.
How is Carbone so elusive?
How can we never get Carbone?
We're like a cabron for our lack of ability to get Carbone.
But Rough and Rowdy, dude.
Rough and Rowdy's coming up.
Yeah.
Can't wait.
I'm flying out tomorrow.
Wheeling.
Are you going to go to Karen's pub?
I'ma say it loudly
Out of rough and rowdy
Gonna go to Karen's and rob the register
Let's do that one again
I just wanted cornhole
But now I'm an asshole
I'm about to rob Karen's of all the cash
Dime bro But now I'm an asshole I'm about to rob Karen's of all the cash Damn, bro
You've been starting Pat Bev Pod with like a prepared
We're just four bars, dude
And the people who canceled on us yesterday
They're making me
They wasted my introduction
But you can't reuse that?
Because I tailored it
That's fucked
It's like that suit that you got
It's like the tux that you and Luke got from that same tux place, dude.
It was perfectly tailored to these people.
Can't repurpose.
People cancel so often on that show.
Basketball players.
Yeah.
Are you telling me to shit?
No, I'm just saying.
I'm like pissed off or just frustrated.
Busy guys.
Or fickle.
I mean, once you have so much money, you really can just change and make plans whenever you want.
Making long-term plans is antithetical to what they're trying to do in a booking department.
If I had somebody on my paid staff that could cancel for me, I would never show up to a thing.
You don't have to tell the person that you're canceling.
Like you could go through a middleman.
At least you're not Tyler.
I cannot believe that Tyler's stuck in California.
Oh, my God.
That flow works for everything.
I know, bro.
We are fucking shitting on this guy.
Yeah.
We haven't shit on him once.
Just like you guys never shitted on Adam Sandler.
Come on, dude.
Adam Sandler's playing b-ball I didn't realize he had like
He had like 3,000 followers
I thought he was huge
I feel bad
He's trying to make it
This is like his first day of college
He just graduated high school
And is a massive Yak fan
He's a freshman
He's watching live right now
Oh man
I mean this is an important step
I mean we've is an important step.
I mean, we've remixed this song 15 times.
We're giving it the ultimate love.
If he can clip every one of these, that's infinite resources that he can use in his TikTok algorithm. He probably went to Penn State because he was like, Rome went to Penn State.
Yeah.
He's looked up to you for a while.
And we keep singing it because it's catchy.
Yeah.
That's better than most.
That's what we've been saying.
That's what we said from Rip. Yeah, that's more than most people That's what we've been saying. That's what we said from Rip.
Yeah, that's more than most people.
Yeah, we've been shitting hard.
Yeah, because you're his age.
Did you guys feel bad when that, like,
rizzed baby Gronk Livy kid, like,
ended up owning Yak merch?
He owns Yak merch?
Oh, oh, oh, that guy.
That just made me be like, oh, he's joking.
Yeah.
He's doing a great job at Skytire.
Amazing sense of humor.
He's done a couple third-person perspective videos
where it's me setting up to talk about Livvy Dunn again.
And it's from across the room.
He knows what he's doing.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, I think that was just like, oh, this is actually funny.
I was making fun of him.
I thought he sucked.
Same with the Penn State kid.
He knows what he's doing.
He knows this song.
That's what he should lean into.
He's making jokes.
He's like, you don't get it?
Yeah.
Fucking idiots. He's probably going to lean into. He's making jokes. He's like, you don't get it? Yeah. Fucking idiots.
He's probably going to have to transfer schools.
God damn it.
No.
He's going to fucking off of this.
He's going to be a...
He's like, but he's addicted to it.
Rathskeller.
He's got to go to a school where he just can't find a rhyme.
Yeah.
TC Chattanooga.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Ooh.
I mean, what does it run?
How many views does that TikTok have?
I'm sure it's...
Probably like 500.
No, no, it has a lot because we've all seen it.
We just exposed the whole thing.
It all came up on the algo.
Yeah, I mean, he's doing better than me, so keep it up, kid.
It's popping off.
Doing better than Donnie. I don't even have TikTok. It's coming up on my Instagram. Wait, really? it up, kid. He's popping off. Doing better than Don.
I don't even have TikTok.
It's coming up on my Instagram.
Wait, really?
Yeah, it's on my Instagram reels.
Yeah, same.
By land, by air, by sea.
Dude, he's going every fucking...
Attacking you where you're at.
Doing better than Don.
Hey, boys, can I use someone's laptop for this?
Yeah.
What's your password?
Name is everybody's in the building.
Who are you going against?
Eddie.
Do people know that this is a thing?
Oh, shit.
Go, go, go.
No, people know.
Well, now they do.
Shit.
I don't even think people know there's a dozen things going on here.
He just walked out. He just walked out.
He just walked away.
Left the door open.
He's just done.
He's done.
He loves me.
Oh, boy.
He pissed.
Oh, my God.
Just pulled up to Penn State.
There's going to be like a shadow above KB's bed as he's sleeping of a dude fixing his hair every three seconds.
Jephthah Lowe's going to have a fucking meat cleaver in his fucking chest.
Yeah.
It's going to be a Sweeney Todd remix of Jephthah Lowe.
All right.
That's their demon barber for sure.
All right.
We could call this thing.
Oh, look out.
Zaz, go stand next to him.
Hell no. Come on, dude.
He probably smells different things.
Yeah, I bet you. I bet you the air is fresher up there.
Yeah. Or thinner. Or he's getting all our exhales. Yeah.
Probably a little bit warmer up there.
He probably only breathes in exhales.
He's probably also heard all this. If he climbed Everest,
he'd probably be the highest anyone's ever been, ever.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
I don't know who the tallest guy
I mean, people have been planes.
Oh, I mean like
while on the ground.
In space.
Yeah.
Dude, nobody's ever been
higher than this.
But it's like,
I don't think anyone's ever,
he'd probably be the highest
anyone's ever been.
If he poured up some lean
on top of Everest
being 6'10",
imagine how high he'd be.
He'd be getting dizzy up there.
Yeah, he would.
That high would be amazing.
Oh, yeah.
If that Penn State kid
performed his song
at the peak of Everest,
it would blow up.
Yeah, it would be the peak.
It would be...
Pulled up to Everest,
wish I was at Penn State.
He needs to go study abroad.
He needs to go on a tour
and just be like
wish I was at Penn State
yeah
my friends are still
at Penn State
the ballad
Drake needs to get
his hands on it bro
if Drake remixes that
alright
I'm going to
Rough and Rowdy
yeah
next week is going to be
a thick yak
of
oh
lots and lots of things.
Barstool Awards, buy tickets to that.
Ruff and Rowdy, buy rnr.com or go to our YouTube and you can buy it on there.
Barstool Independence Day.
Jenks is fighting for Frank the Tank's honor against Muerte Blanco.
Are you boys all be here tomorrow?
Yes, sir.
Bloody Marys.
Yes.
That's a good idea.
Are you guys going to film the act up in Boston the day of the award show?
Live in Boston.
I believe so.
We just got our train ticket.
Let's get it.
I need to go buy a suit.
And until then, we about to party till the sun comes up.
With my friends yeah
yeah
alright see you guys
uh
Monday
everyone else will see you tomorrow
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