The Yak - Zlatan Ibrahimovic Pops In To Yak | The Yak 7-31-24

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Big Cat brings historical figure packs for Klemmer's card gameYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more,... visit barstool.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Come sit right here. He's gonna say hi for a second, Zlatan's here. He just did a tour of the office. He's the absolute man. Yeah, he's the absolute man. He's gotta go in a minute, so probably no gauntlet.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Zlatan, say hi to the Yak. When I said that you were coming by, everyone was like, holy fucking shit. Break all the records. Yeah. I watched the bicycle kick against England a thousand times. I did too. Is that your favorite kick? A thousand times last night.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Yeah, especially because it was against England. Yeah, of course. It made it feel a little bit extra. Yeah. So what do you think about Barstool? Because you just did the whole tour. I feel like you're a Barstool guy. I think it's a perfect place to have fun.
Starting point is 00:00:57 That's right. It's like a big toy room. Yeah. Then I don't know how good you guys are in this sports, different kind of sports. Not good at all. Not at all. Apparently you have a goalkeeper that is world class
Starting point is 00:01:09 because if I miss, he must be very good. Yeah. He's going to be insufferable. Yeah, you created a monster. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us. Lucky I retired so I don't look too bad. Yeah, he showed up and he gave me the best compliment ever. He just looked at me up and down and he just goes, good size.
Starting point is 00:01:31 He kind of like grabbed my shoulder. He's like, good size. They made you well. I was like, fuck yes. I think this is an amazing place. Compliments for everything. Yeah. Well, so you got a game.
Starting point is 00:01:43 So there's a game tonight. Milan's playing Soldier Field. Tickets if anyone wants to go buy them. And then you're going to New York. You're for everything. Yeah. Well, so you got a game. So there's a game tonight. Milan's playing Soldier Field. Tickets if anyone wants to go buy them. And then you're going to New York. You're doing a whole tour. And then you're going to come on PMT at some point. Yes. We're going to get that set up.
Starting point is 00:01:53 So we have a preseason here. Part of the preseason. And we just played against City in New York Yankee Stadium, which was pretty cool. Today we play Real Madrid. And seventh, we play Barcelona in Baltimore. Nice little tour. Good stuff, good stuff. Well, I appreciate you stopping by. I know you have
Starting point is 00:02:12 tight schedules because you had to go, but I wanted the Yak fans to at least see you. What's your favorite quote you've ever had? Why be normal when you can be great? There we go. I love that. What about the one where you're like, there's different systems like Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia,
Starting point is 00:02:28 but then there's the Zlatan system? This one I didn't hear. This must be a new one. Oh, okay. How often does that happen where someone says something like, remember when you said this? Which one was that? Help me, because I say a lot of stuff. Hold on, I got it.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Is it true that lebron james sent you a jersey and you signed it and sent it back to him yeah i can't help but laugh at how perfect i am ah yeah yeah and then there was a swedish style no yugoslavian style of course not not. And then there is my son. It's great. You got great quotes. It's good. I have a couple of them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:10 All right. Well, thanks so much, man. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Appreciate it. Yes. All the best. So great eating you.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Good luck with everything. Yeah, appreciate it. I'll walk you guys out. You're doing the magic. Yeah. They're going to see my boat. Someone do the row back. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Brandon. Row back. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Oh, God almighty. I'll walk you out.-C-K dot com. Oh, God almighty. God almighty. Oh, God almighty. Oh, God. I told you.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Get it. Go. R-H-O-B-A-C-K. God almighty. Go, go, go. Oh, fuck. I'm dying. Kill me.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Told you. You forgot something. Ah. Ah. Sorry. You forgot your phone. Ah. I have to do it. Oh. Ah. Ah. Sorry. You forgot your own. Ah. I'm a video game.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Oh. Oh. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:03:55 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Yeah. Yeah. He smelled amazing. Oh, yeah. I bet. He's a different type of human. Zah, you were shaking. Yeah, Zah was like running from him. I don't know what I said. I don't know what happened. It was just magical, man. You know he's got 65.4 million followers on Instagram? Really?
Starting point is 00:04:20 I'll say it. He's better than us. Yeah, you made Swedish meatballs for him, right? Yeah, I would love some Swedish meatballs. Yeah, get them in here. Wait, did he try them? Oh, well, he... Yeah, they'll be in a second. No, he came.
Starting point is 00:04:30 That was insane. I knew... Originally, we were going to do a full what's for lunch, and then plans changed, but I had some ready just for him to try, and he ate... He came back for third, so that was... Whoa! Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:04:41 But then he said he forgot what Swedish food tastes like, so I don't know. Oh. But they were good Swedish meatballs. I'll bring them in for you guys in like 30 minutes. So Maresh was just in Stockholm, and he brought back two candy bars that he forgot about. So he gave them to me, and I gave him some candy bars upstairs, like a marine in the middle. Hey, buddy. Oh, you actually gave them to him?
Starting point is 00:05:02 Yeah, Jopp and Plop. He doesn't like Jopp, but he took the Plop. He took the Plop? Yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't know. He must have thought it was because his team didn't tell him that I was making meatballs for him. I thought that was his request, but it was one of his team members
Starting point is 00:05:15 that requested it, so he's like, why the fuck are you making it? He was a little surprised that we had Swedish meatballs, and I'm sure the candy didn't help. He seemed like lunatics, like stalkers. Yeah, but he's the man that was cool but i'll bring meatballs in for you guys to try when i turned the corner and he was standing uh over there there there there were 10 000 people yeah it was like and none of them were there's only he only brought like three people here it was this entire company oh yeah the
Starting point is 00:05:39 shop and plop so he didn't like job he did not like not like Jop. But Plop, because I look at that, I think Jop's better. I don't, no, no, no. I think Plop looks better than Jop. He told me. Are we sure that's Jop? Oh. That's how I. Are we sure that's, no.
Starting point is 00:05:58 No, no. I'm. He told Big Cat he had good size. And before he came down here, he popped into the anus studio right after we got to him recording. It was just me and Rudy and he looked at me up and down like I was like prey. He was like dissecting
Starting point is 00:06:13 what was wrong with me. He acknowledged you. He did acknowledge me. Not as a man. No. Did they show that was the Yak recording and show that Malasek blocked every goal? We're going to have to delete that. No, he did't. We're going to have to delete that. No, he did not. What happened?
Starting point is 00:06:26 Oh, no. Never mind. Malasek literally shit his pants when he was standing in goal trying to stop. There was poopy everywhere. It was so embarrassing. There was poopy everywhere? Malasek shit himself. A lot of plop.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And his little dick popped out. Oh, it's no. We got it. We got it. Zlatan called him a world-class goalie. Yeah, he did. Oh, my God. Malasek, that Yeah, he did. Oh, my God. Malasek, that's infinity aura points.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Oh, my God. He kicked them all right at him. He saved them. He kicked them right at him. Let Malasek have this. Yes. Okay, you're right. Can we talk about Stephen Che, though?
Starting point is 00:06:58 Does Malasek screenshot this and frame it? I would. I think he does everything to it. Yeah, like a continuous loop. Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, we should have asked him to speed walk. He probably would have loved he probably would have he would have loved that loved it did what what are you going to talk about um steven shea i saw that so zlatan's out there and everybody's taking pictures with him everybody's walking around it's madness it's pure
Starting point is 00:07:19 madness you know big cats walking around everybody's asking for autographs whatever they're doing while this is going on about 15 feet away shea just walked over and just did his bench reps Madness. You know, big cats walking around. Everybody's asking for autographs or whatever they're doing. While this is going on about 15 feet away, Che just walked over and just did his bench reps in front of me. Che, do you realize how this is our most famous guest? Oh, Che. Oh, my God. Why did you do it at that moment so I mean all those people were there for I don't know six seven minutes
Starting point is 00:07:50 I was waiting for there was supposed to be lunch here at 1130 so I looked there's like basically ten minutes to the show I was like alright I can just go fucking dick around or I can get some work in so I got a first set in I walked around a little bit went back and So I got a first set in. I walked around a little bit.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Went back. And then I got a second set in. And then people started being like, what are you doing? I'm trying to get swole. I wasn't anticipating the shooting to start then. The goal shooting. But it did. In NFL terms for Che,
Starting point is 00:08:21 who would Zlatan be? Tom Brady? Yeah. Right? Fame-wise or success-wise? Fame? Star power-wise? I think star power-wise. Fame-wise, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:08:36 There's no one in the NFL. There's nobody in the NFL. Tom Brady, if he was even more fun. Zlatan said Kyrie Irving yesterday. Basketball was. What was the comparison to basketball? So he had asked me to speak to me in NBA language in terms of people that are good. So like LeBron being one and all that. So I called him kind of like a Kyrie Irving.
Starting point is 00:09:00 He's better than Kyrie. In the soccer world, I mean there's – Would you say he's fifth? He's better than Kyrie. In the soccer world, I mean, there's... Would you say he's fifth? He's sixth? I would say, for me, this is tough because there's a lot of positions. For me, he's definitely top 50. Zah, were you more nervous today than you would have been in front of a hot girl? It's the most nervous I've ever been in my life.
Starting point is 00:09:21 He literally couldn't look at him for like five minutes. Yeah, it was... My heart rate was at 130 while sitting down for like a solid 10 minutes. It was crazy. Yeah, I'm not like nearly as much as like a fan as you, but like I can feel like my blood pumping.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Yeah, it was... He's got like an aura about him. Does he play like a Sacha Baron Cohen like level character? I don't think it's a character. It's probably intentional character? I don't think it's a character. It's probably intentional, but I don't think it's... He tries too hard for it.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Okay. I don't know anything about him. I don't know. I was just doing... I read his Wikipedia. Yeah. He's a very confident man who backs it up. We'll put it that way.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Somebody said he's kind of like Shaq. Yeah. Like Shaq is Shaq. Okay. He's a lot of time. Okay. He's a great athlete and great like Shaq. Yeah. Like Shaq is Shaq. Okay. Great athlete and great character. Yeah. His highlight reel is unbelievable. It's like the most insane shit.
Starting point is 00:10:12 That 30-yard bicycle kick? Yeah. I watched that a lot. It's not just that he's good. It's that he has the audacity to try things that no one else would try because he is Zlatan. Would he dominate the NFL if he played? He would dominate every, I think he would certainly dominate every sport, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:29 I see him as speed walking, no problem, for sure. I'm sore from that. My shins hurt. I think my foot arches blew out. Did they fall down? I think I walked too fast. You're also wearing two different shoes today, Kate? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Kate? Kate. Two different brands, Kate? Oh my God. Kate? Kate. Two different brands, Kate. Kate, what the fuck? She got Adidas and K-Swiss. You got a Nike Air Max. Nah, what is it? It's a Nike Air Max.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Oh, Jesus Christ. I don't know. My son's off daycare for two weeks. The baby's teething. I don't know, man. Kate, those aren't close. My son's off daycare for two weeks. The baby's teething. I don't know, man. Kate, those aren't close. Jesus Christ. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I didn't notice that until right now. Okay. Holy shit. I'm doing fine. Russell, will you? Thanks, Russell. No, I didn't know. We wouldn't have noticed it.
Starting point is 00:11:24 You don't think Zlatan noticed it? Yes, he did. That's why he left. Oh, my God. Oh, Russell. No, I didn't know. We wouldn't have noticed. You don't think Zlatan noticed it? Yes, he did. That's why he left. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I was just about to tell him about my osteoporosis. And then... He called me Captain America. He did? He did? Oh, because of your shirt? He said, look at you, Captain America.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Is it because of the diabetes? No, it's because of the hexagonal gem dug in on my... He doesn't know about the diabetes. That's not apparent immediately. It's something you can scan. That was fun. That was great, yeah. Did you invite him to your house? I mentioned my boat, but he didn't respond.
Starting point is 00:11:57 They're going to sink my boat. Can you help? And he didn't say anything, so I don't think he's going to help. We can't rule him out being there tonight, right? Yes. We can rule him out. Yes. I think he has a match.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Okay. Yeah. He's not playing. Well, it could get, maybe it rains here but not there, and he says, well, what else do I have going on? Are you hoping it rains? I'm hoping y'all are fibbing about sinking my boat because I don't think we should.
Starting point is 00:12:21 We don't. Brandon, I'll speak for myself. I don't know what the rest of the people. I don't want to sink your boat. Yeah. I want to see what happens when 12 people get on your boat. I second this. It's for science.
Starting point is 00:12:31 It's science. It's not like. I will tell you worst case scenario in my head is sinking your boat. If we all get on there and it doesn't sink, it's not like I'm going to say more weight. Why is it 12 people now? It was 10. Who would say that?
Starting point is 00:12:43 It's 10. I want to sink it. I know you do.? It's 10. I want to sink it. I know you do. Kate, you also want to sink it. I have the same kind of curiosity. It's been consuming my thoughts. Can we get us all on there? And then once we're on it, if it's still floating, great.
Starting point is 00:12:57 If it starts to sink, y'all got to bail. But then what happens once we're all on it? What if we started to see how far? We're not going to do tricks on it. We're not going to do tricks on it. We're not going to do tricks on it. Are you definitively against losing your boat? Correct. I do not want to lose my boat.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I value my boat very much. I love my boat. I love my boat. And this all started because y'all made fun of my boat for no reason. My boat didn't do shit to me. But then I remember you defended that we could all get on your boat. I was bullshitting. Half the things I say are bullshit.
Starting point is 00:13:27 How'd it go? Good. Yeah, yeah. Dude, he's the man. Did you hug him too? Yeah, I gave him a little hug. I mean, he likes my size. That's the best compliment.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Sure. Literally said, great size, and grabbed my shoulder. I thought it was good size. Or good size and grabbed my shoulder. After I gave him the candy bar, did he throw it away, give it to somebody, or put it in his pocket? No, but it was very clear that he did not want the other one. No.
Starting point is 00:13:53 What were the names? We were talking about Jop and Plop. Yeah. He took the Plop, and Nick was like, you don't want the Jlop? And he's like, no. Yeah, shout out Maresh who texted me. He's like, do you want Jop and Plop for tomorrow?
Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, buddy, I do. like no yeah shout out maresh who texts me he's like do you want jop and plop for tomorrow yeah buddy i do i was saying uh i need to just say that he's coming in every day because i've never seen this many people in the office yeah that's right they were forming like pep club cheerleader tunnel and he in like he also laughed because he walked in and he was just like he looked one second of the like he didn't know anything about Barstool. I explained him the whole story and everything. He took one second, looked at the gambling cave, and he was just like, are these guys working? Yeah, that's, you're right.
Starting point is 00:14:36 They're watching volleyball. What did he call it, a giant toy place? Yeah. That's fair. I wish he had scored on Malasek. Not regulation goal. Malasek has a highlight reel forever. Nobody else has something like that.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Maybe Roan winning a battle rap. That's the coolest thing anyone has done here. Yes. And it's wasted on Malasek who gets no women. He's going to do nothing with that. He's not going to go out to the bar and be like, did you guys see this. He's going to do nothing with that. He's not going to go out to the bar and be like, did you guys see this? He's going to do nothing with it.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Nothing. Damn. But good for him. I'm happy for Jake. He kicked it right in. He did kick it right in. He wasn't going for it. But he complimented Jake. Called him a world-class goalie and keeper. Imagine.
Starting point is 00:15:25 But maybe he's laughing about that in his car now. He could be. Did you guys remember, Big Cat? I did not, but I have his people's numbers. Good. All the people who forgot we're starting 15 minutes early, welcome. Yes. They're going to be pissed.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Yeah. We did start 15. We should just start the show whenever we want Just randomly? Yeah like 2 in the morning Did Ryan get to meet Zlatan? Yes He was like nervous to come in today
Starting point is 00:15:54 He was? Zod were you nervous? My heart rate was at 145 For like a solid 15 minutes while sitting down Wait like tracked on your bracelet yeah i've got my shit i forgot the story about the fact that he uh fuck yeah yeah there we go that he uh they kind of signed a jersey to lebron and gave it back unbelievable he's the best he loves sex i wish he i wish he stayed longer.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Does he? Is that true? Yeah. I mean, is sex the thing that's loved the most? If I got outed for loving sex, I'd be rude. I think there are soccer footballers who say scoring a goal is better than sex. And he claims that if you think that, you need to seek help. Yeah. He's right.
Starting point is 00:16:44 It's just not. Right. But is sex the most universally loved thing? It about have to be. Has to be. Yeah. What's loved more? Make an ugly laugh.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I think a lot of people are having pleasureless sex. Really? Yeah. Oh, they're called women. They're all on to it. Oh! Good job, fellas. Glad you're having, glad you're enjoying it yeah it's it's
Starting point is 00:17:07 it's top three for most people yeah brandon would right now in your age your experience would you rather have a prime cut steak or sex all right right. So the list probably goes, I'd rather have a nice, good, long solo video game session. Yeah. But you don't come at the end of that. A good long day of shit. You ain't playing the right games. A good long day of watching sports. A prime cut steak.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Sex is like number eight. Wow. Yeah. But if you were deprived of all of that for 30 days and you got to pick one thing to do, what would it be? It might be sex at that point. Yeah. But I haven't had new sex in 20 years.
Starting point is 00:17:53 New sex is better than sex. Well, you haven't gotten new pussy in 20 years. Oh my. New pussy is better than pussy. You haven't scored new pussy in decades. I don't know about that. I haven't had new pussy since decades. I don't know about that. I haven't had new pussy since 2004. No.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Oh, man. The old pussy is good. It's like the old baseball glove that's been worn in. No, but new pussy is not. There's a good vintage on the pussy. Oh, that's a 2004 pussy. Once you tie a rubber band around it and throw it in the freezer for a little bit, it's broken. I'm not saying the quality of the pussy is different,
Starting point is 00:18:27 but the thrill that you get with new pussy is unmatched. Yeah, but that thrill equals coming in like 30 seconds and then being like, whoops. What do I care? I don't know. I would never cheat because I come too fast. That's pretty much it.
Starting point is 00:18:44 That's the only reason. Babe, you know I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't because I would just basically be signing myself up for utter embarrassment. That's all I would. Yeah, because there was no way you would be able to keep it secret because that person would have to tell you. Yeah, they would be like, yeah, Big Cat, he comes so fast. Yeah, finally working up the guts to cheat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Was it worth it, the 30 seconds? Was that worth it? Ruining your life? It probably happens a lot. No, it wasn't. What? That probably happens a lot, that exact scenario. Of getting excited to cheat.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Cheating and then just coming really fast. Yeah. Yeah, like that hot office romance and late night, working late night and then you're like, oh fuck, I came so fast. Wait, you said 30 days was a long time for you to go without sex?
Starting point is 00:19:34 That's what he said. I didn't say that. Since you've been married. Oh, I don't know. This may be too personal. I don't know. Old b-walk never goes more than a week. Well, here's the good news is we're going to his house tonight so we can just go to his source.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Yeah, we can ask. He's not allowed to talk to you. No, we'll just examine for wear and tear. I'm so excited for tonight. Are you examining my wife or the bed? It was the bed. I was thinking the bed. But I understand that that probably came off.
Starting point is 00:20:06 I was going to check her canal. Zlatan's people were like, hey, we got 20 tickets to the game tonight. Oh, fuck. If anyone wants to go. And I actually, I had to say verbatim, I was like, I would love to go, but we're going to sink our friend's boat. That fucking sucks. And he was just like, what?
Starting point is 00:20:25 And then I had to explain the whole thing, and it still didn't sound normal. Y'all should go to the game. No, we're going to sink a boat tonight. Let's not sink the boat. Yeah, Brandon did like a, he tried to have a real talk with me and Titus this morning. Oh, yeah. Where he was like, hey, guys, can we not sink the boat? And Titus and I were both like, no, dude.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I don't think we can. I think Brandon is correct in saying we can't sink his boat. It's his prized possession. If we pretend to care about him, we have to honor that he cares about this more than anything in the world, and we can't sink it. But what I explained to him is we must. And that's where there's a problem is because we can't do it, but we must. We must sink the boat.
Starting point is 00:21:06 We have to let him be in control for when it sinks. Let me throw this out there, okay? You have to let nature be nature. If you're going to sink my boat, you can't get in there, and if all 12 fit and we don't sink it, you can't then start rocking. You can't then start adding things. You have to let me win if I win. I don't want to fall in the lake.
Starting point is 00:21:28 I don't want to get wet. Almost everybody's going in the lake tonight. We agree with that? Yeah, I brought my water shirt. I was already here when we got that text, but I'm not saying it's TJ's fault. We're all going to the lake. Yeah. I brought my lake shirt, the Phillies jersey. Nice.
Starting point is 00:21:44 So what is the plan? We're going to do a yak? Yeah. We're going to play some games. We're not going to have that much daylight at the end of the yak. Full around? Yeah. S'mores? I have the fire pit ready.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Hell yeah. I put some dried leaves and whatnot. Those were probably already in there. I got it ready multiple weeks ago. Are we going to see your basement? You can see my basement. Are we going to see your basement? You can see my basement. Are we going to see the Ben Mintz toilet? That is the part of the house you are allowed to see
Starting point is 00:22:11 because if anybody's going to use the toilet, it will be, in fact, the Ben Mintz toilet. Did you warn the neighbors? I've warned both neighbors on either side of me. I have not warned the whole neighborhood. Okay. Art knows. How did you phrase it?
Starting point is 00:22:24 I don't know my wife uh visited visited them yesterday and and said uh this is happening okay it's like knocking on a door when a sex offender moves in one of them one of them's out of town and one of them said you can use my driveway if you'd like wow oh we're probably not going to no we should i don't think we're gonna use the driveway if they offer a driveway, we need to use the driveway. I don't think we're going to need it. How many pisses outside are you boys doing? In the driveway?
Starting point is 00:22:50 I'm doing all. Oh, that could be a pissing driveway. It's a piss driveway. I'm going to take a shit. That's so nice of you. Huge one, too. Yep. On the dock.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Should we get a fire going? We can get a fire going. That'd be easy. Okay. Tommy can be the fire master. Okay.ay is grilling we don't know chay's coming late so i'll be about an hour late i'll be there ron asked me to bring some cinder blocks no see no his weight no i think that's only fair no we bought we, we said people on this show. We went seven and then three is ten.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It's ten people. It's ten people. I'm going to buy a weighted vest. You can't add things. I don't think we need to cheat this. We're at 2,000 pounds. I've been walking. You have been walking.
Starting point is 00:23:42 2,000 pounds is a lot. How much does an elephant weigh? 2,000 pounds. 2,000. Imagine an elephant. Oh, I could get an elephant on my boat. Wait, does an elephant actually weigh 2,000 pounds? I think an elephant's one ton, right?
Starting point is 00:23:54 It sounds right. They're pretty big. I'd get an elephant on my boat. You think an elephant? I'd get an elephant on my boat. Oh, Zai, you're not coming? You're going to the game? He's got to.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I didn't know until now. I think I might try to figure that out. All right, well, if you can't come, we'll make sure we bring the weights. Yeah. We have to let Zah come to the game. Have Big T step in for Zah. Yeah, you get to name who you want to name. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Get T. Big T. Big T. We'll have neighbor boys. We'll have people available to us, I think. We can't have neighbor boys on camera. No. Neighbor boy.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Neighbor boys have to clean up the piss driveway. Yeah. Constantly. After one piss, they come out like an ice crew. Yeah. Put the bucket in the brush. The neighbor boys. The neighbor boys.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Let's make them do that. The neighbor boy piss crew. Then let's make them eat a bunch of dust. Yeah. Sawdust? Just straight, just eat dust. Can you buy dust anywhere? I think you can buy sawdust.
Starting point is 00:24:53 You can buy everything. You can definitely buy dust. How much? Like the gray dust? I don't know. Like dust. Dust bunny dust? Bet you could.
Starting point is 00:25:00 I think there's some chromophilic boys who only eat dust. What do their bodies look like? What's a diet of dust look like? Can't be good. Corpse-like. Why is there a little boy just peeking? I don't know. I want to go show him how to shoot the gun.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Yeah. There's a boy. The boy with the gun? Can I go show him how to shoot the gun? Hey, guys, I brought the cards. Oh, fuck. That looks like a kilo of cards. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Yeah, yeah. Wrong pocket. Who need... Hold on. So they're not in actual packs. A little test run? We can... You want to go... I'm just doing my show.
Starting point is 00:25:36 Oh, they are in packs. Brandon's trying to get out of this right now. Two, three, four, five. Yeah, well, we do a show at 12. We're going to record a show at 6 at the house tonight. Oh, my God. Who are you talking to? Was Zlatan on Ted Lasso?
Starting point is 00:25:54 Unless Caitlin's talked. I think he was inspiration for... Yeah, he was inspiration for one of that character, yeah. But he wasn't actually in it? I don't think he was. Maybe he was. I don't know. I watched every second of that show, and I don't remember now.
Starting point is 00:26:05 He has a video game out called Slot and Legends, and I think it's like a fighting game. I think he might be the only character. It's an iPhone game. His quotes are so funny. That would be an all-time PMT guest. I know. We're going to get him on.
Starting point is 00:26:20 How is his English? Pretty good, actually. I think he knows six languages. Yeah, on his ex-girlfriend's engagement gift what do you mean present she got Zlatan only God knows who will go wait you only God knows who will go through and the reporter said it's hard
Starting point is 00:26:42 to ask him and Zlatan said you're talking to him I love this amazing he's the best imagine having confidence I would it would be a better character if he did that but was really bad just blindly confident yeah I'm god yeah an injured Zlatan is a serious thing for any team that's great great. Yeah. Is he coaching now? Is that... What is he? What's his official role? He's advisor, director. Of the team? Yeah. So he
Starting point is 00:27:13 retired end of last season at AC Milan and they asked him to come back as an advisor. Okay. That's cool. I'm seeing if we... I want to make sure we can post the I wish he had scored on Malice
Starting point is 00:27:27 I wanted him to at least decapitate Malice I wanted to see a little blood come out I think a real soccer ball would have been the end of Jake it wasn't a real soccer ball?
Starting point is 00:27:36 no no not a real net not a real no it's none of it's real it's all it's all it's a half half a net
Starting point is 00:27:43 all of it a little under inflated ball right you guys want to rip some packs? bad It's a half a net. All of it. A little thumb ball. Underinflated ball. Right. You guys want to rip some packs? Bad. Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Yeah. Okay, so we have five. I think we should spin the wheel and someone should have to do them. Yeah. And they have to just... So how does Clemmer do it? He will pull out the first one. He has tape.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Puts it on his forehead. Talks about that guy's career. Next one. Quick blurb about that guy's career, if he was better or not. If he's better, puts him on the forehead. Okay, so, and do you put tape on your forehead? I think he has tape already, like, rolled. So he can just put it on his forehead and then put the card up.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Unless he has a greasy forehead. All right, so we need to get tape rolled. Yeah. And then we'll zoom in on the camera. It's got to be blind. And there's five packs, so we should spin the wheel to see who to get tape rolled. Yeah. And then we'll zoom in on the camera. It's got to be blind. And there's five packs, so we should spin the wheel to see who has to do it. Yeah. Ooh, I got Saddam.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah, so it's best career? Best career. Yeah, and you have to pick one minority that had all the tools. That's right. Yeah, we're looking at come up, peak, and longevity. Yeah, longevity. You could even do looks. You can do looks. Should we watch one of Clemmer's just to see? Yeah, I, and longevity. Yeah, longevity. You could even do looks. You can do looks.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Should we watch one of Clemmer's just to see? Yeah, I need an example. I'm going to open up this pack of 1988 Donruss cards and see who had the best career. They always come with this damn usual puzzle piece. Can't count that because you probably win. There you go, puzzle piece. Okay, we start with Dave
Starting point is 00:29:05 Hengel. Outfielder with the Mariners. Had a horrible career. I can't imagine he's going to be up here for very long. Bob James. Bob James is an okay reliever in the mid-80s. Not much more to say than that. I mean, his name kind of says it all. Dave Bergman. Bergman. I would say Bergman kind of says it all. Dave Bregman.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Bergman. I would say Bregman. It's Bergman. He was in the 84 Tigers. Like a guy that you have in first base. The tape thing is so funny. He doesn't have to. He can hold it.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Yeah, we can just hold it. All right. We can hold it. All right, so spin the wheel to see who has to go first. Ooh, Ryan Sandberg. Just got a statue outside of Wrigley. Interesting. He's been told he's wearing two different shoes yet.
Starting point is 00:29:51 What? He's wearing two. Very two different shoes. Adidas and Nike. I did that once. Not that. I did brown and black shoe by accident. Dressed in the dark. I'm just surprised I didn't feel it. Kyle, you've done it once. I've done it. I did it and didn't realize.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Now I feel it. They're different brands, different styles, different colors. Very different feel. That's like wearing a stiletto and a refugee flattened two-liter. Pretty much. How did that happen, Kate? I don't know. Both kids were up all night.
Starting point is 00:30:23 I have no idea. My son's off daycare all week so I was like out in the driveway with him and then ran inside to change and then we had to bring all the pup pug stuff in the car it's embarrassing he has 65 million followers on Instagram I know that's pretty good is he single Zah should have asked him good question philosophically oh Zah I thought of you today all time horny hours
Starting point is 00:30:54 by Stephen Che what these are some good ass sounds at like 7am yeah it was like 10am we had our still Blue coffee meeting. And there was like a question about like who can be contacted for something. And Hank was like, do you know Olivia in our office? And Steven just goes, Mun?
Starting point is 00:31:20 Do you think Olivia Mun works here? I just looked at him and I was was like, what did you just do? And he's like, I don't know. It's early. Lay off me. Yes. Her real name I said immediately after that. But yeah, I had a brain misfire.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Happens. That was Olivia who works with Munn? Must have took a co-worker for Olivia Munn? Yeah. I mean, just co-worker. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And Paige Sporanek is our office manager.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Yeah. Horny. Tough. Horny. Billy Ray called Miley a skank. Yeah. About time. Didn't she post a nude pic?
Starting point is 00:31:59 Miley did? She might have. That would probably feel so cathartic. To call your daughter. To finally call your 31-year-old daughter a whore. Just finally. After all those years. After all those years of biting his tongue, he's ready to get kicked off the show.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Just let it out. The willpower it took to bite his tongue while she was twerking on Robin Thicke. That's got to be better than coming. There it is. Finally being able to call out your daughter. He looks rough. He does. Didn't he marry a 17-year-old or something?
Starting point is 00:32:37 He married young. I don't know. Illegal young. What are they doing? I think they're transporting that carpet and they're all doing it in their own unique way. There's a chance, by the way, that there will be a cold plunge in the studio tomorrow during the act. Oh, I'd love that.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Should I figure out something to do with that? Seems easy. I'm not going to be here. You'd probably die in a cold plunge anyway. Might be one tonight. What's the lake temperature? It's pleasant. Wonderful. I love you guys, and I'm fine doing this, signing up for it.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Cold plunge, run to the bathroom, spin the wheel, one person has to look at your dick. Oh, I love it. I'm fine. Yeah, that just evens the playing field. Fuck you. Yes, I'm down for that. But we could have a camera so you see your reaction to the tiny hole. I'm cool with that.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I'm perfectly fine. Yeah, no, we'll do that tomorrow. It's a great idea. That's genius. Spin the wheel. Yeah. Just one person. Stefan, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:33:35 Maybe they draw it. He was looking right at me and just – He's flustered. There's not enough exhales in the world for that boy. All right, I got to go home. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We started early. No, I'm taking Caitlin. I told you 12, 1220, 1230.
Starting point is 00:33:55 No, no, no, no, 1 o'clock. Not 1 o'clock. 1230. What time are we getting there? I have to do a lot of stuff. Brandon, you can't start a show and just leave in a minute. No, no, I have to do a lot of stuff. This isn't even't start a show and just leave it in the mail. No, no, I have to do a lot of stuff. We can talk about everything, but I got too much stuff.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I got to take Caitlin. We got to go buy some chairs. There's a lot going on. I have a ton of chairs I can bring. I don't want your stinking ass chairs. I have like six of those pulled out. I don't want your stinking ass chairs. Ta-ta.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Thanks, Steve. All right. Thanks, Kyle. You're going to have a PlayStation that I can play? I have multiple. Okay. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. You got to do a pack then. Oh, yeah. You got to do a pack. But you got to do it like Clemmer. Do we have tape? We have tape right here.
Starting point is 00:34:39 I think they're all individually wrapped. You said ta-ta, though, as a bye? All right. Yeah, I was like, yeah, same. Don't look. Don't look. I liked it. though as a bye? Don't look. I liked it. Can we zoom in? Don't look. Do not look. I'll shuffle them so you don't...
Starting point is 00:34:52 Do you want me to ball them up? So take that first one and put it on your forehead. I think this will clamor down. Go ahead and put the tape there? Yeah. And yeah, minority, you can either say it has all the tools or couldn't quite put it together. Okay, you ready? He'll never call one a bust. All right, you got to say something about each person too.
Starting point is 00:35:12 All right. All right. Don't look at the cards. All right, here we go. So I'm opening a pack of political whatnot and cards. You got gotta go. Right off the bat. This man certainly was idolized by certain people.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I guess he inspired a way of life that I don't necessarily always agree with. I can't say that in my family there wasn't. I'm just going to. He's first. It's Robert E. Lee. He was. He was. Ambit E. Lee. Okay. He was ambitious.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Ambitious. Very important military figure. Would you say he was a good leader? Short history of some countries. But yeah, he left a lot of junior high schools in his way. Rhapsodize about his legacy.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Well, I think I am talking about his legacy i think junior highs and high schools a lot of us he had a lot of statues at one point those have kind of dwindled in numbers through recent years he changed the game too a lot of people try to follow in his footsteps to this day they will model their game after him yeah he's uh he had he had quite a career quite a legacy on that man I hope we're going to replace him very, very quickly. I don't know that we're going to... I guess this is a better career? I would have to say the guy won two Super Bowls, so it's Ben Roethlisberger. Ben Roethlisberger won two Super Bowls.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Any better career? Robert E. Lee was 0-1. There's no Roethlisberger. There's 0-1 in his Super Bowl. Ben Roethlisberger had some trouble off the field, but I don't know that he had the trouble that Robert E. Lee had. What would the – Just stall.
Starting point is 00:36:53 You know what? If we're talking best career, though, I got to go – I think the next guy, this is going to be a hard career to beat. It ended probably prematurely, but it's Martin Luther King. Okay, nice. Short peak. Wait, why is he doing that? He didn't last as long as he would have wanted to. Probably prematurely, but it's Martin Luther King. Okay, nice. Short peak. Wait, why is he in that bag?
Starting point is 00:37:08 He didn't last as long. Why is MLK in that bag? I don't know. He's here, though. Martin Luther King definitely had a better career than Ben Roethlisberger or Robert E. Lee. I think we'd all agree with that. Hillary Clinton is next. I'm not going to say that she had a better career than Martin Luther King, so he's going to stay on my head. Hillary Clinton tried for the presidency, didn't get it,
Starting point is 00:37:29 so now they're rerunning a female campaign. MLK couldn't stay on the field, though. But boy, he left a legacy. He did. He really did. A lot of streets. A lot of streets. Pop it up there.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I can't say that Chris Benoit had a better career. Chris Benoit did not have a better career in my mind. Again, another career cut short for different reasons than Martin Luther King, but he was definitely... O.J. Simpson not heisman he had all his tools martin luther king went
Starting point is 00:38:10 to heisman uh martin luther king did not want a heisman to my knowledge okay um yeah martin luther king had all the tools i he did and he ran oj reinvented himself after his playing he did oj had multiple peaks yeah he had he was famous I think you might have to do it. Yeah. The versatility, Brandon. Acting. You might have to do it. Acting. Golfing a lot.
Starting point is 00:38:30 I think OJ had a better, he certainly had a longer career than Martin. Oh, God, I shouldn't. No, Martin Luther King's Martin Luther King. Okay, okay, okay. General Colin Powell. Okay. General Colin Powell General Colin Powell I don't know if there's even much to joke about
Starting point is 00:38:47 with him he was just famous for a long time not this one Barack Obama not over yet I would say Martin Luther King his career laid the path for Barack Obama's career. MJ LeBron. This is a classic MJ LeBron. Yeah, I mean, Obama, though, he
Starting point is 00:39:09 realized everything. Yeah. Babe Ruth changed the game, and then other guys came who were better. MLK was speaking to plumbers, though. Yeah. I think I'm going to replace Martin Luther King Jr.
Starting point is 00:39:24 with Obama. Because, yeah, Barack Obama goes next. Some people say you couldn't have Obama without MLK. All right. I had Robert E. Lee still in there. Michael Jackson does not. Oh, I don't know. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:39:41 He was the most famous being of all time. I don't think that's right. Jesus existed. Oh, I don't know. Oh, my God. He was the most famous being of all time. I don't think that's right, Jesus. Jesus existed. Jesus and Muhammad probably both topped Michael Jackson. What about wealth? Is Michael Jackson wealthier than Barack Obama? Almost.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Yes. Certainly. Wasn't he close to bankrupt at the end? Neverland Ranch is still in his name. He still has an amusement park. As far as impact on the Western world, I feel like Michael Jackson falls a little short. Oh, my God, no. Thriller. It's Barack Obama. He's the first black
Starting point is 00:40:11 more influential. Michael Jackson was the most famous person in the world for a while. You're going to get roasted in the comments. Wow, that's a terrible choice. Do you want me to change it? You do you. No, it's completely you um what was the last one stop trying well uh the only oh no yeah oh no obama's gonna win or i guess osama has a
Starting point is 00:40:34 too insane just by by general like this was natural selection obama ordered the hit that killed osama yeah that true. So we've already played this battle out. They went head-to-head. They went head-to-head. Obama won, so I can't. Yeah, they played in the same era. You think Eli Manning's better than Tom Brady? Yeah, good point.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Oh, good point. Yeah, but Osama doesn't have six other, seven other Super Bowls. He's got two big wins. Yeah. I think he's got one big win. The first one was almost a loss. Osama did have
Starting point is 00:41:08 a helmet catch too of sorts. Yeah. I'm going to go Barack Obama as my win. Caught one to the head. You caught one to the head.
Starting point is 00:41:16 It was amazing. That was uncomfortable. Can somebody else do it? Yeah. Yeah. Spin the wheel. Spin the wheel. I think it's fun.
Starting point is 00:41:21 It is fun. These cards are ridiculous. I don't even remember where I bought them. Oh, wait. Hold on. Keep it up. I got to take this.
Starting point is 00:41:34 I had Robert E. Lee and Barack Obama in the same pack. Yeah, that's a good-ass pack. Yeah, there's some ones that didn't make sense in that pack. Colin Powell. Oh, man. So Obama's your goat. Obama's my guy. didn't make sense. Colin Powell. Oh, man. So Obama's your goat. Obama's my guy. Obama's your goat.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Oh, man. All right, spin the wheel. I want it to be Kate. No, I'd rather it not be. Yeah, there's some. Oh, God. The out here song. Come on out here Sit in one of these seats
Starting point is 00:42:09 Get a pack That picture Brandon is so good Holding Osama with Obama No context needed Okay I'll shuffle them up Grab a little tape. I might have to buy some more packs.
Starting point is 00:42:34 I might just have to rip these every now and then. We might just put it on the wheel. There's a lot of classics we bring back, but this is one we've forgotten about. I wouldn't mind doing the Windy Room again. What was the Windy Room? With the mousetraps in there. Oh, with the money in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, that was it.
Starting point is 00:42:46 It's got to be lying around somewhere, right? If it's not, we got to get it. I wouldn't mind bringing back Stinky Cloud. Yeah, because the windy room also set up perfectly for this office now
Starting point is 00:42:54 because the problem was it was so loud. We could just put it on the other side. Couldn't do anything else in there. We could do other stuff with windy room too. Like you got to get sticky
Starting point is 00:43:02 and then go in there and there's something gross floating around. I think when we retire it, we turn that into the stinky cloud yeah and have somebody and have all the stink go up yeah oh windy room filled with mousetraps uh have to go in the cold plunge and you can't get out of the windy room until your dick gets the right regular size until your dick is big enough to snap have a mousetrap snap average person regular size or your regular size? Your regular size.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Okay, all right. I don't know what my regular size is. Yeah. A replacement level size. I love it. Or just getting in there dizzy. Yeah. Dizzy would be great.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Dizzy windy room? Dizzy windy. All right, so are you ready? All righty. All right, here we go. Consider the whole career. Whole career. One up.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Bruce Jenner. Okay, nice. All right. Quite the switch. I've had quite the career. Was an athlete. There's a piece of cut-off penis in that car. That's a penis.
Starting point is 00:43:58 That's right. I can't really say what he did after without getting myself in trouble, but, yeah, quite the switch switch up of career going to be. Did his career end when? Well, he killed a lady. It's like when a team moves cities. Whoever gets the penis gets the history. All righty.
Starting point is 00:44:15 And I got Condoleezza. That's a good one for Saw. Condoleezza. That's a good matchup. Oh, Condoleezza, Condoleezza, where do I begin? A mortal enemy of mine. That's a good matchup. Oh, Condoleezza, Condoleezza, where do I begin? A mortal enemy of mine. I don't know how the hell she's on the committee for the college football team.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Almost coached the Browns? Yeah, that too. Who was the guy who was obsessed with her, and they found all these photos of her in his computer, like Assad or something like that? Some guy in the Middle East was super into her, it turns out. Assad was a bad dude, right? I think so.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Yeah. I could have this wrong, but there was some bad guy that was like, had the hots for Condoleezza Rice. I don't blame him. Just kind of sex. Look at that piece of ass. Right now,
Starting point is 00:44:58 Zlatan's people are like, what was that show you were on? Yeah. Tune in. Don't see this. Bruce Jenner wins. He was bonus yak. Yeah, yeah. So he didn't count this. Bruce Jenner wins. He was bonus Jack. So he didn't count for this episode.
Starting point is 00:45:08 All right. I got... Wait. Toffee had a serious obsession with Condoleezza Rice showering her with over $200,000 in gifts and having a famous local composer write a song for her called Black Flower in the White House. That's a really good one. Look at him looking at her.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Rice on Gadolphe sounds delicious. Rice on Gaddafi sounds delicious. Rice on Gaddafi does sound good. I want to order that on a breach right now. TJ's so hungry. Rice on Gaddafi. All right, so I got Rangel, who I don't know. Chuck Schumer, all meeting Hillary Clinton. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Chuck and Hillary, what can I say about them? They are, I can say a lot, but I'm not going to say anything. No, say it. Don't make me say stuff. No, say it. Career. Yeah, career. Nah, cats online have been getting on me saying that I'm based and all that shit, so I'm staying
Starting point is 00:46:01 Are you based? I thought base was good. Base is good. Well, it depends, I think. I thought bass was good. Bass can be good if you want to be bassed. I have a little bass in me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I got a little bit of everything in me. But yeah, I mean, the Bruce Jenner switch up is going to be very hard to beat. Okay. On a box of Wheaties? United Nations sanctions. They don't work. They don't work, so they're out.
Starting point is 00:46:29 That woman from Michigan. What's her name what's her name say her name i have no idea does it say that woman that woman from michigan oh gretchen gretchen whitmer oh yeah she might be vice president she uh almost got kidnapped by people for covid lockdowns ah yeah they were they were dressed up in colonial garb and tried to kidnap her. I believe. That's a good costume. I don't know much about her, but shout out the man in the corner, but we'll leave it there. Oh, it's Donald?
Starting point is 00:46:56 You said it, not me. J. Edgar Hoover. That's a good damn. Kind of similar to the first. Bad dude. Hoover damn though. That wasn't Herbert that did the damn? No, that's definitely Herbert. Diego's the FBI guy.
Starting point is 00:47:13 That was a test to see if you knew your Hoovers. He's the vacuum guy. And he might have killed some presidents slash other people. Also, he had some cross-dressing, didn't he? Oh, yeah, that's right. No way. Yeah, I'm pretty sure thatdressing, didn't he? Oh, yeah, that's right. No way. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was like a big thing, and that's... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Yeah. Okay. Nah, Bruce is on a run. It's going to be hard to change the whole... Now, if it was Caitlyn, would it still be up there? You're trying to get me in trouble. No, I'm just asking. No, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Caitlyn will be gone. Caitlyn will be gone. Okay, okay. Caitlin will be gone. Barack, Barack, Barack. Oh, no. Is Barack going to win again? No, Barack, Barack, Barack. Oh, Barack, Barack.
Starting point is 00:47:57 That's killing it. Oh, my days. All right, he's out. I'm not going to explain why, but he's out. Michael Jackson. This is actually a very tough matchup. Because, I mean, they did somewhat similar crazy things. Two transitions.
Starting point is 00:48:13 At the time. Yeah, two transitions that were crazy at the time. Both elite at what they did, music and athletes. Yeah. Then fucking Michael Jackson, though. The other stuff that he did is what just doesn't go down. He stayed relevant.
Starting point is 00:48:29 You're going to keep Bruce Jenner on? I'm tired of the Michael Jackson disrespect. Yeah, get MJ up there. You've got to draw a line. Get MJ up on the head. Career. I mean, that's a career. That man in the mirror, he's got so many
Starting point is 00:48:44 fucking hits, dude. The smudge on the career, he's got so many fucking hits, dude. The smudge on the career for Michael Jackson is pretty smudgy, no? Yeah, it's still kind of. He landed prime Bacalli. Speak with some questions about it. Yeah, no, I can't. I can't. I loved Home Alone.
Starting point is 00:49:00 I can't. Okay. We have got Hillary again. Hillary, the finalist. Okay. Well, she's a loser, so. Okay. We have got Hillary again. Hillary the finalist. Okay. Well, she's a loser, so. Yeah. And lastly, Joshua Primo.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Who the fuck is he and what the hell did he do? Josh Primo. A basketball player? Is that just a ring? A basketball player? No, no, no. He's bad. Underage?
Starting point is 00:49:23 Was it a young? Oh, that's what you're thinking of. He was on the Spurs, right? Yeah, he was on the Spurs. Josh Primo. When did you get these cards? Did that happen a while ago? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Oh, it says Messiah. Indecent Exposure. Is it Indecent Exposure? No, that's fine. He's a young man. Yeah, he's on the Ontario Clippers now. Oh, he still plays? I don't see anything. He got suspended for for something and then did he get what oh indecent exposure primo was waived by
Starting point is 00:49:51 the spurs on october 28 2022 it was revealed that primo allegedly exposed himself several women in november the team's sports psychologist filed a lawsuit against primo the team alleging multiple incidents so he was showing his dick to people. We're doing that tomorrow. Yeah. Caitlin can still do it. Yeah, I guess Caitlin wins. Caitlin wins.
Starting point is 00:50:13 All right. Sorry, Bruce. Bruce. You get to keep the card. Bruce. Yeah. Thank you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Good job, Zaha. Those are so addicting. Okay. Who's up next? Brandon had like a loaded pack. Yeah, my pack was. Yeah, your pack was. There's a mojo in there.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Yeah, he had double Hillary. A couple case hits. I volunteer Kyle. Yeah. I feel like we're going to get a lot of duplicates, but. Well, let's give it a chance. I'll speed through it. You need some tape?
Starting point is 00:50:45 I've got the tape over there Brandon, why don't you get it? I want to see Kyle do this I kind of want to see Brandon do it again too I smell toast Are you dying? Yeah, Swedish meatballs You don't want to...
Starting point is 00:51:05 Smelling toast is a sign of a stroke. I don't think that's... Oh, yeah. What if there's toast in it? Oh, my God. Almonds and toast. Are you about to... You have a stroke?
Starting point is 00:51:13 Burnt almonds? There's a smell of food in the air. No, I don't smell it at all. Stick your tongue out. No, all the way. If it goes crooked. All right, you're okay. I'm not having a stroke.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Do this. Get your hand. you gotta look at your hand and put it on your face um i knew you wouldn't do that now that you can break a nose you could kill okay ready kyle okay doing plumber's we could save the last two for uh later on in the show all right pope francis one oh okay was he the nazi pope i mean obviously position is important We can save the last two for later on in the show. All right. Pope Francis I. Oh. Okay. Was he the Nazi pope?
Starting point is 00:51:47 I mean, obviously position is important. That's significant. He's the current pope. He's the current pope. Yeah. Did he exceed expectation? How many people has he covered up for? Thousands.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Okay. Popes have fallen off. Queen and Duke of Kent. Oh. Not just the queen. Ohio? Past. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:09 No, the pope. Oh. Is the pope bigger than the queen? Who's more well-traveled? Who's more well-connected? Who has better dinners? Who has a larger following? Yeah, the pope is the whole Catholic Church.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Both. The head of the Catholic Church. Venn diagram both covered for pedophiles. Yes. Yes. But who did it better? The Pope, I think. Pope, Moore, Queen. Queen was just old?
Starting point is 00:52:37 No, I mean, Andrew, her son. So it happened in our hometown when a priest gets in trouble for pedophilia. Yeah. They send them for rehabilitation. They exile. They exile. They send them to Rome. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:51 That's an incentive to do it. Yeah. Oh, no. They're ripping me out of wheeling to go to Rome. Did you say they send them to the minors? Yeah, I did. Oh, that's funny. That's good.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I didn't even know that. Holy shit. That's good. Oh, fun. Okay. I didn't even know that. Holy shit. That's good. Oh, fun. Okay. All right. Deshaun Watson. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Talk about a guy who loves to perfect his craft. This is what it says. Not as good as the Pope. Okay. Prime Deshaun? He was a highlight reel. If he did a little bit better in the NFL. Won a national title.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Largest guaranteed contract. The Pope just like the whole globe. Okay, okay. How many Catholics are there? Yeah. Michael Vick. Now we're talking. Yeah, now we're talking.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Now we've got a decision to make. Now we're talking. So the Pope obviously has a bigger position and a larger following, but Michael Vick did more with what he had. The thing that you like about this Pope seems to be the office, not the man.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Just the position. Michael Vick, what he's done culturally, how influential he's been as an athlete and a person. Is he Vick or Pope? Pope was on Madden. How influential he's been as an athlete and a person. Has he? Vic or Pope? Pope. Pope was on Madden in 2004.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Okay. Yeah, when they brought out the hit stick. Yeah. Yeah, he was. Go ahead, Steven. Correct us. It was 2005. Steven?
Starting point is 00:54:18 That's a nice card. He said that was 2008. Go ahead. It was 2005 hit stick. Okay. Did that change your life, Che? Yeah. I was so much further into the matter.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Well, that's the famous clip. Remember it? Yeah. Yeah. You find it, TJ? The pick central? Megan Money and Stephen Shea clip from 05. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Go ahead. Jefferson Davis. First president of the Confederacy. The KD of the Confederacy as far as output. He was the guy, though. He was the guy they picked. He was their number one. Wait, the KD?
Starting point is 00:54:51 Kevin Durant? He's not the LeBron of the Confederacy. He's Brooklyn Nets KD? It's him and Robert Lee, like MJ LeBron. Okay. What did he do, though? Did he get his hands dirty at all? I think he was their face. I don't think dirty at all? I think he was their face.
Starting point is 00:55:05 I don't think he did enough. He wasn't dirty enough. He was just the marketing arm. Gay rights. Oh. Oh. Okay. That's a wild card.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Gay rights has had a hell of a decade. Incredible decade. We don't even think about like actually harassing them pete budaj might be the vice president yeah right yeah and they took the word back we were calling everything gay and then at the in the 2010s they're impervious right back but i i think we might have it back now yeah Yeah, has gay rights fallen off? Yeah, Will has definitely stolen it back. One man. If Will was in this pack, he would beat gay rights.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Yes, he would destroy it. Setting it back. Decades. I'm going to go gay rights. Okay. They did a good job. Yeah, but are you... I think they're doing a little too much.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Exactly. They just out-kicked their coverage. Michael Jackson. A lot of Michael Jackson disrespect. He's the most iconic man of all time. Thank you. Wow. That seems like a lot.
Starting point is 00:56:18 No. You took more than Elvis? I think think yes. Yeah. Globally. So many decades. Which Michael is on your head? Is that young Michael?
Starting point is 00:56:36 Yeah, that's young Michael. That's a parallel. Tam. Ray Carruth. I don't know him. Murdered his pregnant girlfriend. The child lived. That's not going to get it done against Mike. Carolina Panther.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Rice, not going to get it done. Ray Rice. The Benghazi hearings. Michael Jackson is the winner. MJ. He needed to win one. Is there an MJ in every pack? There might be. Alright, see you Brandon.
Starting point is 00:57:05 We'll see you Brandon. We'll see you, Brandon. We'll see you. What should we bring besides the weights? I'll bring chips. Brandon, I might see you if I get up there. Yeah, I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:57:21 I'll be home by 2 o'clock. What are you doing? You go. We're going to think of a wrinkle to add for tonight. I can't wait to lose the key to the motor. Oh, yeah. I can bring some of my hinge matches if you guys want.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Oh, my God. We've got to figure out how to get them in the car on the way up there. Are we set for car rides? Is everyone good? No. Oh. But I'm sure I will be. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I'm driving. Okay. Yeah, I can drive too. Someone, Steve? I have a commitment I got to go to before. Okay. Yes, I'll be late. I'm pumped to be at Brandon's house because I haven't been in like a real house in a long time.
Starting point is 00:58:03 You know what I mean? Oh. A real house. No. A spacious house. I haven't been in like a real house in a long time. You know what I mean? A real house. A spacious house. I know what you're saying. Oh, I guess I see what you're saying. A place with a living room, a dining room, backyard. You know what I mean? Yard. I miss that. I don't get to see my parents.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, I haven't thought about that. I've gone stretches without being in a house. I guess living in New York, there was not many times I was in a house. No. Yeah, you don't get the homey feeling anymore being kind of on your own. Damn. Sorry, I'm sad.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I think you might be fishing for an invite to my house, but it's not going to happen. No. I already know that's not going to happen. Don't call me. Don't invite yourself. You let me in your house before you knew me. And then now you know me.
Starting point is 00:58:47 That's the thing. When was that? When we visited Chicago, me and Che went to your house. I don't even think Mook was full time. What a mistake. Remember the Bolero? What a mistake. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:59 This is when you were like, oh, Mook's the man. Now you're like, Mook's a scumbag. No, I don't think you're a scumbag. I'd let you in my house. Yeah um i'd let you in my house yeah i'd let you in my house did you go yet i haven't we'll figure it out yeah we're gonna figure out a play time you need to shop for kate too kids i gotta shop for kate oh yeah give me the word and honestly i won't anytime any day k, ask him because, I mean, do you have it all together? You know I don't. I know I don't. Yeah, I could use some help. Mook, you want to house sit for me?
Starting point is 00:59:31 Oh, I would house sit. I don't know when I would need it, but that's good to know. Yeah. That would be cool. I could walk a dog. Yeah. Whatever you need. Would you throw a party?
Starting point is 00:59:43 No. Would you open drawers? I would just want to enjoy space by myself. Yeah, you'd be able to just hang out. Right now I have three positions in my apartment that I just switch off and on. Laying down on couch. I need to get you over to my house. Would you let him invite a girl over?
Starting point is 00:59:59 Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Stay in the basement. Okay. How many drawers outside of the kitchen would you open? Good question. In his house. Yeah. If you stay in the basement. Okay. How many drawers outside of the kitchen would you open? Good question. In his house?
Starting point is 01:00:08 Yeah. I'd beeline to medicine cabinet. I'd probably go a little crazy. Yeah. Yeah, we'd have to set some ground rules. I don't think you'd be allowed on the second floor. That's fair. What about the third, fourth, or fifth?
Starting point is 01:00:18 No, there's not. No. Listen. It's called a double lot for a reason. Yeah, you wouldn't be allowed on the second floor fair first floor and basement though i wouldn't want to i don't know if i want to see that you know what i mean i mean it's just bedrooms yeah no reason for you to go up there yeah i wouldn't be just wandering and you would fuck on my bed and i'm actually and pretend to be you kind of i don't think i would be upset about it yeah I don't think I would be upset about it, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:46 I don't think I'd be upset about it. I was always weirdly cool with it. Yeah, I think I'd be okay with it. I think I'd be okay with it. I don't like it. I was okay with it. With other people fucking on your bed? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Yeah, I played the cool role. Like, yeah, you might as well. Did you listen, though? Did you listen? Have I listened? No, it was like situations where I wasn't home in college. Got it. Not like a party?
Starting point is 01:01:09 You're like, yeah, go ahead. No, that would be creepy. Let me just get into the closet real quick. Yeah, I wasn't like, please get in here. You might as well get in, bro. Between you and me. Don't worry about the closet. I'll be right over here.
Starting point is 01:01:21 You're good. She's feeling you. She's feeling you. My bed's open. Need a bed? That's what the heir to the Bucky's throne was doing. He was inviting all these people back to his party house and being like, go fuck on my bed.
Starting point is 01:01:34 And he had cameras everywhere. Oh. Do you guys ever think about, sometimes it will pop in my head, I don't think I ever washed my sheets once in college. I can't remember any individual incident. Right, of washing my sheets. Like, I just don't think I did. Towels?
Starting point is 01:01:55 Did you wash your towels? I threw them away and bought a new one. Yeah. There were some really disgusting things when you think back to it. Oh, yeah. Oh, it took years off my life. Yeah, sheets and towels, I don't. Not cleaning the microwave.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Yep. The fridge. Yep. The kitchen you didn't work. The kitchen you just let that do. Dishes in the sink for like five days. Yeah. Where it's like everything's stuck together.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Oh. I'm trying to think. Whoever did those. Yeah. Couldn't have been anyone. Right. How did that? No one ever sacrificed that amount of time and effort.
Starting point is 01:02:27 No, I had a clean roommate, Chris. Oh, yeah. I never had one. I thought that's why you brought women back. There have been several guys that I went and bought like whole new bedding, comforters. Several guys. Several. It was like a thing to the point where I was like talking to my therapist.
Starting point is 01:02:43 I was like, is there something wrong with the guys I'm picking that I keep? You brought. And it turns out there was. There was. Yeah. Several different times. Several different bedspreads. I was like, is this still your high school stuff?
Starting point is 01:02:54 This is your stuff from high school? And we're like a decade out? Yeah. Kate, this might be me stepping too far. I'm not going to. Have you ever been had on like a, like a on top of a sports logo yeah what about what about what about uh what about like a cartoon yeah comic book yeah sports superman yeah sports car sports car bed yeah yeah what about like a super bad poster here's another question how many times
Starting point is 01:03:25 yeti butts have you been had in a bunk bed oh top or bottom it's bottom i've been told i'm a power bottom yeah a couple times a couple times yeah yeah yeah there's there's I can smell the Steelers logo spread. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, old Sheetz drinks on it. Yeah, oh, the Boondock Saints watching Kate. Yeah, how many times is John Belushi? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:57 College. A lot of Pink Floyd posters. Yeah. Yeah, the asses. The late... Yeah, the asses. The late Floyd asses. Mook, I think I'm going to set up a time for you to come to my house and watch over. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Maybe I'll just have you sleep over. I'd trust Mook with sleeping at my home. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a pretty- Mook is a respectable guy. You have slept at my home. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Thank you. Always have. Yes. Yeah. We went through a stretch on the show where I was just called pathetic for months. Well, no, no, no, no. Respectable and pathetic, those can happen at the same time. They live in harmony. Yeah, we went through a stretch on this show where I was just called pathetic for months. Well, no, no, no, no. Respectable and pathetic, those can happen at the same time. They live in harmony.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Yeah, right. I'll take it. Respectably pathetic. I like the idea of a wealthy person just keeping a mook in their basement as like a little treat for them. Like a little troll under a bridge. Yeah, we have a mook down there. Yeah, you're not bottom three people in this office that I would not want in my home. No.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Not even close. Good. It's like nicky smokes no god no white socks dave no i wouldn't want white socks dave jack is there somebody that's just like dirty oh do we have a dirty guy i don't think so malice oh malice yeah i wouldn't want malice like in my house i have nothing really hiding in my home if you guys came in i don't either through everything brandon might be the low-key dirty guy i don't know could be he's got a lot of shit that he just he manteaks every weekend and he doesn't have like a setup is he a hoarder oh he might be a hoarder that's probably why i was scrambling to get back brand Brandon would get Taco Bell and then just leave it on the coffee table. Does he have a dirty car?
Starting point is 01:05:30 But he'd get mad if somebody touched it. He has a dirty car. He does have a dirty car. Oh, the dirtiest. There's so much shit in it. He eats on the drive home a lot. Yeah. There's a lot of bags in there.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Stu Foner's a low-key hoarder. Yes. Yeah. If you've ever been in his house. A lot of knick-knacks in there. I think that's more. Maybe not a hoarder. Yes. Yeah. A lot of knickknacks in there. I think that's more, maybe not a hoarder's the right word, it's more that his kids moved out and he stayed in the house and now he has all the space. So if you go into a bedroom, there's just clothes and stuff.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Shit everywhere. Yeah. Because a lot of people downsize, he's not going to. Dude, I've been in girls' bathrooms that it's like an episode of storage wars girls bathrooms they have spy books yeah they have so much shit in there yeah shocking guys bathrooms are pretty bad they're bad hair they might be everything yeah i can't guys bathrooms are dirty but we don't have shit in them we have like no towel hanging on the little side. A little bit of toilet paper. It's just grime.
Starting point is 01:06:29 It's just all grime and shit on the mirror and stuff. My cousin lived in a house where like the shower had backed up, but they all just kept showering in it as it got hot. And then they would like. Oh. And yeah, that's bad. That's real. Shout out JMU.
Starting point is 01:06:44 JMU living. I'd want Nick in my house the most probably. He's real. Shout out JMU. JMU living. I'd want Nick in my house the most, probably. He's number one. Yeah. I keep a... Kyle's disgusting. Yeah. Nick would... If you house sit for me,
Starting point is 01:06:55 it's going to be cleaner than... I have kind of OCD with that. Yeah. I keep a pretty... We should do this. We should do a spin the wheel. House swap. House swap.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yeah, house swap. No, sleepover. House swap apartment. There was that crab restaurant pretty we should do this we should do a spin the wheel like house house yeah house house apartment there was that crab restaurant that you liked in new york fish cheeks and you kept the container because you liked the smell of crab i delayed throwing it away because i'm sorry you didn't keep the positives outweighed the negatives for a time there was a window of time where it was delightful. We should do this in two weeks when I'm back from Grit Week. When everyone's here, we should do a, like, we spin a wheel. How many people are here?
Starting point is 01:07:34 Ten? Five hosts, five guests. Yeah. And then we just see what happens. And the next day, it's like, what did you experience? Yeah. Yeah. I would love that.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Yeah. Yeah. You could I would love that. Yeah. Yeah. You could end up anywhere. It could be enlightening too as like having outside eyes. Right. Like tell me what I could change. Right. Like real feedback.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Real criticism. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're going to do that. And like I'm fine with being a little careless in my own apartment. But once I get to someone else's space. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:04 You have to be a good guest. Yes. I, I am definitely afraid of fucking their shit up. Of doing anything, yeah. I'm pissing like a sniper. Oh, yeah. Chris Kyle piss. Chris Kyle piss. My son pissed on me last night. No way.
Starting point is 01:08:21 That is disrespectful. How much piss got on you? A good amount yeah we were both pissing playing swords and he just missed the toilet and just all over my leg so you got pissed on while you're pissing yeah i was pissing and i was like all of a sudden wet i was like whoa and i was like get in the toilet he's like oh whoops for a split second did you think about revenge i mean i was thinking about it because it's like, this is an alpha move by him. He just pissed all over me. Oh, I would.
Starting point is 01:08:47 He went far over the toilet. He was on one side. I was on the other. And he just went over the toilet all over. Was he super apologetic? Not really. Did he laugh? He kind of was.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Yeah, he kind of thought it was funny. That was a power play. Yeah. I got pissed on by a five-year-old. Pat goes all the time without using his hands. Oh, yeah. Is that a thing guys do? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:10 It makes me fucking crazy. Oh, yeah. And then our toddler then, that's what he thinks is the thing to do. Yeah. It just gets like everywhere. No, that's a good dad. No, I don't. No, that's a good dad.
Starting point is 01:09:20 You got to teach him. I pissed this week. Got up in the middle of the night. I never really do that, but I didn't want to turn any lights on to wake anybody up. So I pissed in this week got up in the middle of the night I never really do that but I didn't want to turn any lights on to wake anybody up so I pissed in the dark I don't think a drop touched water it was bad do you guys ever pee with the lid shut no
Starting point is 01:09:35 you know what I'll do I mean everyone knows I piss in sinks but if I'm at a hotel room and I'm really tired and I don't know the layout I'll piss in the shower or sink because I don't want to turn on the lights. Yeah. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night. It's a guessing game.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Yeah, because I'm like, I don't know where the toilet is. Do you turn on the shower real quick to like kind of clean it? No. Oh, dude, I tee off at hotel rooms. Yeah. That is, it's open play. Yeah. I was in one in Charlotte where when you walked in the bathroom in the dark it like sensed when you crossed the threshold and like light
Starting point is 01:10:06 under lights came on on their own it's cool it's nothing worse than waking up in like a hotel room and you don't know the layout where am I? every time I travel I wake up very disoriented yeah you want to do another rip?
Starting point is 01:10:22 yeah game time I do too it's amazing what getting an international celebrity does to morale You want to do another rip? Yeah. I miss that. Game time. I do too. It's amazing what getting an international celebrity does to morale. He's just, I know that everyone told me he was cool, but then he was somehow way cooler than even that. He's just a fucking badass. Okay.
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Starting point is 01:11:14 Download the game time app, create an account, use code yak for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Download the game time app today. Last minute tickets, the lowest price guaranteed. I miss him a lot. I wish I,
Starting point is 01:11:25 there was a moment where I was like, I think he might just hang out and never leave. Cause he was asking a lot of questions about barstool. And he was like, I think he just liked the vibe here. Cause he was like, I was like, you could just,
Starting point is 01:11:40 if you gave it like another half hour, it would have turned into just a game show where all the employees just do things for him and outpress him. Like Che bench pressing and Malasek stopping goals and just everything. We used to have said, should I start shooting some hoops? Yeah, I know. My instinct was just grab a basketball and start shooting. Zlatan, look at me.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Zlatan, look. What about this? I was giving him a tour upstairs, and there was 10 people out on the court kicking the ball around. Yeah, right. I do that every morning. I had to say to him, I was like, they've never done this. You're not lying because I walked out of recording,
Starting point is 01:12:18 and I heard you being like, they're trying to impress me. Yeah, right. It was so bizarre. It's our new game. You just invented it today? We're trying to put the ball in the hoop without hands. See, you just invented soccer today. In front of Zahn.
Starting point is 01:12:34 You're used to big guests, but by the time there was like 80 of us crowded around, did we embarrass you a little? No. Are you like, it's to be expected? No, because I think he's, yeah, he's like, he's a talkative guy. And guy and i was like yeah there's a lot of fans here okay so it was cool it looked cool that yeah yeah we care and i'd imagine here he i'm sure he gets mobbed everywhere in europe yeah i'm here he probably probably not he could probably go yeah anywhere yeah maybe that's
Starting point is 01:13:02 underestimated i don't know enough yeah but i'd imagine he could probably go out to eat without being bothered. Yeah. People are like that. They would know he's a guy, but they wouldn't know exactly what. I don't know. Did he ever win, Zod? Did he ever win the Balloon de L'Or or something? Nah, he came, was it when he played on Inter?
Starting point is 01:13:22 So when Inter won the Champions League, I believe he might have been a finalist. Got it. Because not for you there. So his peak, he was one of the top five best players? Yeah. Strikers at the time, yeah. I would put him there, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:40 I guess he's pretty damn good. That's a whole new level of celebrity that isn't here. Yeah, yeah. He would... 65 million followers. That's a lot of followers. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to put it in terms of an American athlete as well.
Starting point is 01:14:01 I think you'd almost have to get a movie star here. How many does LeBron have? Who's the most followed U.S. athlete? It's got to be LeBron, right? Katie Ledecky. Katie Ledecky. Yeah. Simeon Belez.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Yeah. Alona Mar. Probably. Totally. She just hit a milli. Probably her. The Rock. Holy shit. Millie probably her the rock and holy shit 390 holy fuck that's so many
Starting point is 01:14:33 people that's that's half the world no 7 billion I'm an idiot shit cut cut cut cut that cut that that's the risk of a live show, baby. Fuck. All right, so where's the first?
Starting point is 01:14:51 All right, so LeBron's 159. Oh, wow. Goddamn. Yeah. Drake. Who's the next on this list to come to the office? Keep scrolling. I don't think so. I could see Vin Diesel.
Starting point is 01:15:06 He has that many? Yeah, that's crazy. What? Priyanka, his posts fucking suck, too. Priyanka was on Chicks in the Office, I believe. Okay. Yes, she was. Let's get the NBA in here.
Starting point is 01:15:15 I think Drake would like to do the gauntlet. I could see Beckham in here. I could see Snoop Dogg. Yeah. Snoop Dogg would do it you were not exaggerating that anti-death guy oh you looked him up
Starting point is 01:15:32 Brian Johnson oh yeah he's having a no dying world tour he does like non-death he's serious about not not just living long not yes yeah that's like that's a level he does like you get to a level of rich where you're like i'm
Starting point is 01:15:54 just not gonna die he does don't die dinners wait what that's a good ass shirt that's i think we're entering into a new era where death may no longer be inevitable. Join me in a Don't Die Summit in 10 cities around the world. 10 cities. I don't. The first one being San Francisco. I'm going to say something. I got to be careful. Did that say Chicago?
Starting point is 01:16:14 Yeah, we should send somebody. We got to have. Should we spin the wheels? I think we spin the wheels, send two. Okay. Are you going to say you hope he dies? It would be very funny if you got hit by a bus yeah something tragic like that would be you can't really plan for that oh there's the ice
Starting point is 01:16:32 oh is that tomorrow no it's uh pete frady's oh nice yeah so the uh the 10-year anniversary of the ice bucket challenge is oh wow tomorrow so that's what I'm doing. There we go. Tomorrow night. Let's Harlem shake it. Yeah, so we'll get in that tomorrow, and then we'll draw each other's tiny penises. That's big. That's what Stefan was setting up.
Starting point is 01:16:58 So when I asked, he could have just said Pete Frady's cold tub. Instead he said, oh, jeepers. Cold tub. Jeepers. Jeepers. Who is our guy that's living forever that won Fellow Friday? Oh, yeah, the guy that swims. He's like an author as well. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:12 He was cool. He was cool. Yeah. Wait, how old is this guy? He's 46? 5'11 does feel like the right height. He looks older than that. 5'11 feels like a good height to live for.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Is that him and his son or something? I think he, doesn't he take his kid's blood or something? Yeah. Is that this guy? It's so weird. Oh, he's being outward about taking. How much does your life suck though? Because all you're thinking about is not dying.
Starting point is 01:17:34 All he's. Wait, you see he has. Penis shockwave therapy? I'm going to get deep. This, this ain't living. No. No. It's the opposite.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Whoa. He's getting penis shockwave therapy. This guy's never lived. He was so obsessed with not dying that he forgot to even live. Right. Never even lived. Yeah. Makes you think.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Sure you didn't die. He's terrified of death. Oh my God. And he has sought to rejuvenate his... Sorry, I'm locked in on the penis. There's no way that guy's fun to have sex with. He doesn't eat after 11 a.m. What?
Starting point is 01:18:02 Goes to bed at 8.30. Yeah, we got to go to his conference. He dinners too how much is a dinner also he wouldn't be eaten i'm gonna okay you have to go and intentionally choke how long killing yourself how long does he have to live for you to say he was on to something forever 100 i think he's gonna be like 150 plus. Yeah. He'd be like, damn, that guy was right. Good ass merch. Yeah, Don't Die is actually great. Yeah, we gotta go to the summit.
Starting point is 01:18:36 Bud Dwyer ourselves. Yeah. Can we go? He's coming to Chicago. We should have him on the show. I could see the tickets being like 10 grand. Yeah. Yeah, because his procedures to not die are probably so expensive. Doesn't it kind of want to make you run on stage with a little hatchet and see if he can?
Starting point is 01:18:56 Try to kill him? Yeah. I don't know if he's immortal. Oh. Never mind then. Okay. I don't know. That's not terrible.
Starting point is 01:19:06 What's VIP mean? What do you get? Don't die after party He gets to come on your face This is Yeah that's a good Good one Kate That was funny Don't die first supper. Nice.
Starting point is 01:19:30 Half the people buying that have to be journalists. What's Jeffersonian style? His last name is Jefferson. Also, what time is the supper? No, it's not. No, it's not. It's Johnson. What the fuck's Jeffersonian?
Starting point is 01:19:39 What's Jeffersonian style? You wear a wig. What is he doing, Jeff? A wig. He's doing a dinner Jeffersonian style? You wear a wig. What is he doing, Jeffers? A wig. He's doing a dinner Jeffersonian style. Jeffersonian dinner party style dinner that was invented by Thomas Jefferson. Bang your slaves after. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:56 Impregnate them. Wait. So what do you do? I can't find it oh wait I don't want to chart for a dinner party what the fuck is this graphs
Starting point is 01:20:11 moderator agenda this they're doing a meeting and what happens at the meeting stays there a one topic only okay hey I was thinking because we were talking about fellas did you have you guys ever seen the guy who juggles uh fire and then always hits a nick cage pillow shot yes i have seen him out i don't know
Starting point is 01:20:36 what a pillow shot is he's out in his driveway right yeah yeah i have a fell I have a couple fellas. You guys never seen that sentence, didn't ring a bell? No. The string of words together have never been sung. A guy juggles fire and then hits a Nick Cage pillow shot? Yeah, that's... He went super viral recently. Wait, I gotta find the fire
Starting point is 01:21:01 one. Oh, yeah, here it is. Yeah, he... Hold on, TJ, use this one. What just happened in there? recently wait i gotta find the fire one where's the oh yeah here it is yeah he uh oh shit well hold on tj use this one what just happened in there erupting in the gambling cave working hard i feel like all the good olympic stuff's over the gymnastics the swim or swimming still going rugby is done basketball basketball still going track just started really oh track didn't start yet okay track didn't start did you hear there's like a controversy that it's a slow pool yeah yeah because it's shallow yeah the french made it a slow pool to get back to the u.s i love did it work uh even bad i have
Starting point is 01:21:37 no idea it's like notre dame used to grow out the grass yeah right slow down usc when they yeah came to south bend that was the thing in China, too, with the Olympics. This is a guy. See? Nick Cage shot. I should have guessed. Damn. And then he juggles fire.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Oh, what is he doing? I haven't seen this one. He's going upside down. Is that an inversion table? Yeah. Oh, boy. No way. No fucking table yeah oh boy no no fucking way no way there's just no way oh my god wow yeah but the nick cage shot is always pretty sick
Starting point is 01:22:16 every time it's a good combo he went right into the fire that is majestic yeah he has like old tennis rackets he does stuff with wow here nick cage shot i'm broken jarwoods nicholas cage that's luna the dog we're trying to get luna the dog to not bite the nicholas cage fellow she loves biting nicholas cage you know. He's doing devil sticks. Oh, he's awesome. Wow. He makes it every time.
Starting point is 01:23:01 This is beautiful. Wow. He has skeletons in his closet Oh yeah Literally Maybe in that car Yeah he's killed Let them decay
Starting point is 01:23:09 Oh With a flaming cheeseburger Number one Around the circumference Number two Not as dramatic But still valid I'm sorry it's off to the edge
Starting point is 01:23:23 I'm gonna throw it up Two to three feet and then catch it. You still have to be precise in this. Yeah. Number three, by far the most difficult of the Flaming Cheeseburger tricks. Catch it in the bottom and then catch it back up on top. Everyone knows this is by far. Here we go. Down into the bottom And then catch it Everyone knows this is by far Down into the bottom Spin it around the bottom
Starting point is 01:23:50 I like to imagine in the house next door Like the mom is in hospice there Dying as she's seeing this That is by far the most Flaming cheeseburger trick Imagine a son bringing like his date home for the first time. He's like, that's my dad in the fucking garden. Oh!
Starting point is 01:24:11 Oh my God. That's cool. Take care, everybody. Thank you. Is he the GOAT of this? I think he is. He's got to be. He's top five.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Yeah. Too soon to tell. They do not have enough likes. Welcome back to the Broken Drug Law Show. On location in Cerritos, California, one of the comments I get most often is, what's the hardest trick you do? I'm going to show you.
Starting point is 01:24:32 It's not fire. It's not bowling ball. It's not hatchets. It is trying to do two little spinny things at the same time. You've got to come up with a better name. Yeah. This is so difficult. So difficult.
Starting point is 01:24:44 I have to think. I have to open up my a better name. Yeah. This is so difficult. So difficult. I have to think. I have to open up my vision to get both things in there and try to keep them going at the same time and correct both hands. Oh, you see. He's talented. It's very close to the edge. He's too good for me to realize how hard it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:59 Which is a big issue. Jay, by the end of the week, do you think you could do such a thing? Definitely not. I can juggle, like, tennis balls, but that's it. You can't juggle tennis balls. I can. Not, like, crazy well. No, you can't.
Starting point is 01:25:13 I can't, like, throw up in the air and, like, do crazy tricks. You can't juggle. You could juggle three tennis balls. Yeah. No. No way. I think I'm with Che. I think most people can.
Starting point is 01:25:22 I can. Not most people. Not even close. Go juggle three tennis balls I might use wiffle balls If I can't find tennis balls But yeah same shit That's way easier Are wiffle balls easier?
Starting point is 01:25:35 No Why harder? Less of a grip Yeah not as grippy Yeah so that's my Nick Cage juggler guy He's a great fella I'm happy you guys got
Starting point is 01:25:44 Yeah he's too big for a fella. He was on America's Got Talent. Oh, he was? Yeah. So we had a big guest on today, obviously. But is there rumors of a bigger guest that you've reached out to appearing? Who? I think you reached out to him earlier this week.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Oh, the Boom and Doom guys? Yeah. Yeah, we're going to collab. The office would be even more people. we're gonna collab i think we're gonna start with a collab and then we'll maybe invite them amazing yeah it's official yeah no they're in they're in on the collab so what do we have in mind i was like i don't you guys tell yeah you guys are the career the idea guys yeah i don't want to deal with the cousin. Yeah, we should probably make some demands.
Starting point is 01:26:28 The stinky cheese cousin? We need the Rizzler. We need Rizzler. Rizzler has to be there. Maybe Johnny Pancakes. Is that his name? Jason Pancake. Jason Pancake.
Starting point is 01:26:37 Jason Pancake. All right, Che. Can you guys juggle? No. A little bit, but not for sure. I guess he can. I'm looking at him right now. You can, right? I can, but I also never attempted to learn.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Okay. He's being cocky about it. It's nothing crazy special. Shit. I can do it easily. Fuck. You can juggle. Now light them on fire.
Starting point is 01:27:04 No, I'm serious. Jay, want to hit me in the ass? Yeah. That was the next step. Do you guys play red button high school? Yeah. Yeah. Why is he doing this?
Starting point is 01:27:25 I don't know That was back of balls Was that sack? That was B-O-B Did he get you sack? Did he back sack? I didn't feel it but I'm not doing that That was very close to sack
Starting point is 01:27:41 I don't think the back of my balls have ever been hit Front of my balls, relentlessly. Yeah, back sack would... Back sack. That hurt more or less. I think it might hurt more. That's virgin ball. Yeah, when did we ever...
Starting point is 01:27:53 Back sack, it's no love. Or hate. It gets a lot of camera time on film. Yeah, that's true, it does. That shot always sucks. Yeah. I hate it. Yuck. It does. That shot always sucks. Yeah. I hate it. Yuck.
Starting point is 01:28:07 Yuck. Hey, did you guys watch that new Jake Gyllenhaal show on Apple TV? Binged it. Awesome. Oh, yeah. Nick was saying, yeah. Binged it. What's it called?
Starting point is 01:28:18 Presumed Innocent. Apple TV got some bangers. Gyllenhaal can act his fucking dick off. He's good. He's damn good Yeah He's a little too muscular Yeah
Starting point is 01:28:29 He's got the Roadhouse body He's still got the Roadhouse Yeah A little too muscular Jerry what's going on? Roadhouse was Did you watch Roadhouse? It was never supposed to be good
Starting point is 01:28:42 I understand that But like Wait the original, the set, the Gyllenhaal. Oh, okay. As I was watching it,
Starting point is 01:28:48 I had to stop watching it cause I was so distracted by how good a shape he was. Yeah. He's actually taking me out of the movie. I was just like staring at his pecs. He's that counting the veins in his pecs and shit. He plays a lawyer in this and it's like, he's too jacked to be a lawyer. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:02 He doesn't have the time. They have to show him swimming every morning to make it believable. I didn't watch the new Roadhouse because the first one's so perfect. First one was perfect, yeah. I didn't watch Second Point Break because I don't want to do that. Is there a movie you hold so near and dear you'd be upset if they remade it? Roadhouse Point Break. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:21 Pretty much it. Tremors for me. My most watched movie. What is Tremors? The underground worms. Kevinfriend. Yeah. Pretty much it. Tremors for me. My most watched movie. What is Tremors? The Underground Worms. Kevin Bacon. Oh. I would say the original Star Wars trilogy.
Starting point is 01:29:32 You've never seen Tremors? No, I've never seen a movie. Oh, that was huge. They ever remade those? What have they ever... Not remade? The original Star Wars trilogy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:39 They remade more movies. Oh, my God. Yeah, it would sully the name. Of that epic saga. That's Twister I'm afraid to watch Cause I loved the first one Is it a sequel or a remake or is it just I think it's just a remake right
Starting point is 01:29:52 It's just another movie about tornadoes With the same font Is there any carry over I don't remember the original That's another classic movie made for 12 year olds Swedish Meatballs Oh hell yeah Do you have like breadcrumbs That's another classic movie made for 12-year-olds. Swedish meatballs. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. About to get another ball shot in the show.
Starting point is 01:30:06 Do you have, like, breadcrumbs in them? Ah, there are. Ah, I see what you're trying to do to me. I'm going to let them have it. I already had two. They're really good. Oh, they look super good. They're really good.
Starting point is 01:30:15 They're glazed. Thank you, Donnie. Does the original recipe call for horse, Donnie? You can make them with horse. Yeah. You can make them with horse? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can kind of find horse.
Starting point is 01:30:25 That's probably a good thing to do. Thank you. This looks amazing. Really good. Oh. I want to buy some furniture. We should have Jerry do a pack. Oh, yeah, we should.
Starting point is 01:30:34 Yeah. Yes, we should. Jerry. Thank you. Yeah, Jerry should do a pack. Tell him we're on a 10-second delay, too. You want to spin to see who does the other pack and then Jerry will do one? That's a good ball.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Oh, it might be you, Titus. Mookie. Yeah. Okay, Mook, you're up. All right. This is T. Check him out. I got to pee too you guys both gotta pee
Starting point is 01:31:09 I got the flow Kate how do you like the flow do I need a haircut no it looks good looks good yeah it does you're hitting flow? Do I need a haircut? No, it looks good. Looks good? Yeah, it does. You're hitting a good spot. I would keep it going a little longer, actually.
Starting point is 01:31:30 Thank you. You got a big old forehead. All right. Wait, Jerry. Yeah, I want him to be able to watch He's not going to understand it otherwise Where is he? Don't get that close, TJ
Starting point is 01:31:53 Please, for the love of God How'd we score Tropicana? Yeah Nice We're in the OJ game. What's he doing? Yeah, we did score Tropicana. That's a good get.
Starting point is 01:32:19 Really good get. Oh, I got a ride to Cincy. Oh, nice. Going with, shout out, Sam Lauderdale. Oh, of course. Yeah. By the way, Ruff and Rowdy's coming up, I think. What's Jonathan Sandoz fighting? Sandoz.
Starting point is 01:32:33 Yeah, Sandoz is fighting. Sandoz and Mikey Betts. Yeah, Mikey Betts. First naval brother. Good card. Great. Where is it going to be? Wheeling.
Starting point is 01:32:42 Oh, back in Wheeling. Yeah, Nick is going to be on the broadcast, so everyone please buy. It's next Friday. Saw some shit talking. Not bad. Yeah. It's real good. Where the fuck is Jerry?
Starting point is 01:32:53 Do the High Noon ad read. Someone. Jerry's right there. He's talking tubs. The moment everyone has been waiting for is finally here. The High Noon Pool Pack is back. So grab a case, text the group, and get your friends to the nearest pool. It's only here for this summer, so now's the time to enjoy lime, peach,
Starting point is 01:33:12 and two limited edition flavors, guava and kiwi. As always, the High Noon Pool Pack is made with real vodka and real juice, has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and no added sugar. Visit highnoonsunsips.com to find a pack near you. Delicious drink. That's a big ice pool. Yeah, so we're doing a... We can get everybody in there.
Starting point is 01:33:34 We could cram the top. Yeah, we're doing a Doug Stream Tomorrow ALS Challenge, raising money. Come here, sit down. We're ripping cards the Clemmer way. Did you see it? The Connor way? The Clemmer way. No, I didn't cards the Clemmer way. Did you see it? The Connor way? The Clemmer way.
Starting point is 01:33:47 No, I didn't see the Clemmer way. So you just take the card, and then you have to say, like, you talk about the person and then how their career was, and then if you have someone on your head, like, say you have who's Eli Manning. Okay. And then you rip Tom Brady. Tom Brady had a better career than he goes on your head.
Starting point is 01:34:08 You have to talk about why that person's going on your forehead. Gotcha. Okay. Actually, should Jerry go first? Yeah. Give him this pack, too. You could do all of them. How am I going to let it stick to the head? We'll combine the packs. You do the last two packs.
Starting point is 01:34:25 Okay. You can't look until you to the head. We'll combine the packs. You do the last two packs. Okay. You can't look until you see the person. What do you mean I can't look? Don't look at what's next and then pull it. Yeah. Alright. Do all of them. Alright. You need a tape. Yeah, tape. Can you give me the tape?
Starting point is 01:34:42 I've got the tape. And if I's go. I got the tape right here. And if I don't know somebody... You can... Talk it out. We'll help you. Yes, yeah. All right. Read the back of the card.
Starting point is 01:34:50 Look at their stats. Is your pack loaded, Mook? What's up? Your pack was loaded? Yeah, it was loaded. All right, the first one. I kind of know who he is. I want to say...
Starting point is 01:35:00 I think he committed suicide. Okay. I'm not sure, though. I think he is. He's a wrestler. Okay. You can say it. You can say his name.. I'm not sure, though. I think he is. He's a wrestler. Okay. You can say it. Chris Benoit.
Starting point is 01:35:09 Yeah, sad. You have to go on your head, though, because he's the first one. Good career. World champion wrestler. Yeah, there you go. All right. Technically, how was he? He was pretty good, I think.
Starting point is 01:35:19 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Next. Can I look? Yeah. Bad guy. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:35:25 Really bad guy. Osama Bin Laden. Okay. Bad guy. Oh, no. Really bad guy. Osama Bin Laden. Okay, all right. He's out. Who had a better career? Chris Benoit or Osama Bin Laden. Based on what their goals were? What their goals were?
Starting point is 01:35:34 Yeah, who accomplished what? Impact. Bin Laden. Okay, so he's got to go on your head. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, these are just
Starting point is 01:35:47 This is a fake deck What do you mean it's not a fake deck You're holding it Hillary Clinton Oh jeez I'm out on her But she's better than Osama Bin Laden Osama Bin Laden did 9-11
Starting point is 01:35:57 Who had a better career? You gotta go Hillary His is over You can't have Well his is over yeah but Yeah He had In accomplishing his goals He had a better career You gotta get Hillary up there is over. Well, his is over, yeah, but in accomplishing his goals,
Starting point is 01:36:06 he had a better career. You gotta get Hillary up there. I don't think so. He killed so many Americans. That was his goal. Think about all the little girls. Get Hillary up there. She inspired. You just don't want to be screenshot with Obama. I mean,
Starting point is 01:36:21 Osama. Yeah. I almost said Obama too before. Okay. Alright. Just look in the camera realama. Yeah. I almost said Obama, too, before. Okay. Alright. So wait, just look in the camera real quick. Yeah. Alright. Hillary? Ready? He's with her. Nice. Okay. I have no idea who this is. Say the names.
Starting point is 01:36:37 Queen, Platinum Jubilee, Duchess Kate. Oh. Out, right? Yeah. Oh, she is. Nepo. Yeah, not a good... Andrew Cuomo. Oh. Uh, yeah. Out, right? Yeah. No, she is. Nepo, right? Yeah, not a good... Andrew Cuomo. Oh. Yeah. Bad guy.
Starting point is 01:36:49 I don't know. Oh, yeah, no. He switched to being a good guy, though, I think. What's good guy, bad guy? He did switch. He switched. Yeah. He retracted a couple of his statements.
Starting point is 01:36:58 That's some of the hardest things to do. Yeah. Andrew is the older brother. He was the guy... The nipples. Nipple ring. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I still think we stick with Hillary.
Starting point is 01:37:12 She stayed with her husband through some serious trials and tribulations. Michael Vick. Excellent quarterback. Pretty much was one of the first scramble type of quarterbacks. All the tools. He had everything in his bag. Deep throws, accuracy. He had a better career than Henry. Okay.
Starting point is 01:37:31 Ooh, that's a nice one, too. Bill Clinton. Okay. I think I'm going to keep Vic. I mean... Talk it out. Vic, no rings. Bill Clinton has a saxophone in the Smithsonian.
Starting point is 01:37:44 And wasn't Bill Clinton on Epstein Island? Oh, yeah. Epstein has painted pictures of him. Yeah. I don't think that's good. No. He did get head. Yeah, he's out.
Starting point is 01:37:53 Okay. Vic's had to have gotten head. I don't know who this is. I'm guessing he was a president. Jefferson Davis. Yeah. He was a president. He was a president.
Starting point is 01:38:00 Yeah. Good guess. So that's in the comments. Yeah, I think that's up there. That's bigger. If Vic won a Super Bowl, maybe it's a conversation. President. Good guess. So that's in the... That's pretty... Yeah, I think that's up there. That's bigger. If Vic won a Super Bowl, maybe it's a conversation. President. What was he the president of?
Starting point is 01:38:10 United States. The Confederacy. I would say. I don't even know what that is. South. South in the Civil War. Well, that's not good then. No.
Starting point is 01:38:19 Well, you made the choice. Did Vic ever do an equivalent of that feat? No. No? No. No. No. Judaism. Okay. Tough.
Starting point is 01:38:33 That's really good, right? Yeah. Judaism taking on? Jefferson Davis. Jefferson Davis. Judaism versus Jefferson Davis. Let's weigh the pros and cons. Judaism is really, really big.
Starting point is 01:38:42 Yes. Good symbol. Yeah. Some funny people. A lot of comedians Who's the funniest Judaism guy Dave Portnoy Oh this is Jewish Yeah Jewish is big
Starting point is 01:38:55 They overcame a lot of stuff That's going to be tough to beat I think this one has a beat though Vladimir Putin Oh yeah Vladimir Putin. Oh. Yeah. Vladimir Putin. He's done more than Judaism.
Starting point is 01:39:09 Yeah, 100%. Like his goals and stuff like that. Yeah. He's about to take over Ukraine. Wow, huge upset. Wow. Putin beats Putin. George Bush. George, the original Bush, though.
Starting point is 01:39:23 Okay. Okay. I don't know much about this guy, President of the United States. All right, so you're going to keep Putin up there. I'm going to keep Putin. I'm going to keep Putin. This is tough. Oh.
Starting point is 01:39:32 MJ. Michael Jackson. Yeah. Every pack. He's in every pack. I mean, he's probably going to be the best in this pack. Yeah. But I don't know if all the rumors are true.
Starting point is 01:39:43 Right. You've got to weigh the pros and the cons. You also have to take into fact, like, Putin is running a country. That's more important, yeah, for sure. I'm going to keep Putin. Putin, yeah. Yeah, easy. This is going to be tough.
Starting point is 01:39:54 Big Ben. Oh, no. Big Ben. Yeah. You're not going to have Big Ben lose to Putin. No, no, no. Definitely not. You've got to put Big Ben up there.
Starting point is 01:40:04 No, no, no. Oh, Putin beats Big put Big Ben up there. No, no, no. Oh, Putin beats Big Ben? I think Putin accomplished more. Putin has no rings. He's about to get a whole country, though. Yeah. The autobiography of Malcolm X. Okay. But it's the autobiography or is it Malcolm X?
Starting point is 01:40:21 One and the same, really. The autobiography of Malcolm X. Wait, Putin just beat Big Ben? Yes Wow Well, yeah, he's more powerful Accomplished more Yeah I'm out on Malcolm X
Starting point is 01:40:32 I don't know much about Malcolm X I don't know who this guy is Richard B. Penny No, Cheney Dick Cheney? Richard B. Penny sounds like the mascot from Monopoly Junior. I think I'm going to keep pooing for that one.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Who was this guy? President? He was very... Killed a man. Shot a man. Shot a man duck hunting. Did he get away with it? Yeah. Started the Iraq War. That's a bad guy. I don't want him up there. I got pooing up there. Bill Clinton. Again. Well, I got Poon up there. Bill Clinton. Okay.
Starting point is 01:41:06 Again. Poon. Beats Poon. Okay. Jackson again. I can't put him up there. Yeah, yeah. Hillary again.
Starting point is 01:41:15 I'm not going to put her up there. Okay. Poon is going to win. Ray Rice. Bad guy. Tough to tackle. Tough to tackle. Hits women, though.
Starting point is 01:41:24 Yeah. So, I don't want him up there. Okay. Old Bush again. Okay. Out. Okay. You know, this is...
Starting point is 01:41:37 Oh, oh, oh. Oh, who we got? Donnie! Donnie! Donnie! Donnie Trump. There he is. Donnie Trump beats them all.
Starting point is 01:41:45 He's in Chicago today. I know. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Jefferson Davis. I don't know much about that guy. Big Ben again out.
Starting point is 01:41:53 Oh! Wow. There we go. Trump wins it. There we go. Putin had a stretch. He had a run. He had a good run.
Starting point is 01:41:59 Oh, Putin beat Judaism. He beat Judaism. He upset Judaism. He beat Clintons. Both Clintons. Both Clintons. Big Ben. Big Ben. Big Ben.
Starting point is 01:42:05 That's a cool game. Yeah. Who's next? We already, that was the last one. I wish I'd seen the other one. I'll buy more packs. That was cool.
Starting point is 01:42:12 Yeah. I like that game. Yeah. It's a fun game. Jerry, I tuned into the stream last night, but when I tuned in, they were talking about
Starting point is 01:42:18 you were on that like white dudes for Harris call. No, I wasn't. That's Big Cat making stuff up again. I did not. Well, people in the chat.
Starting point is 01:42:25 Doug's chat. Then moved over to Jaref. How did you end up getting all five? I thought you were for sure going to be there for a long time. So I got two in a row. Then you got three more. I asked to chat on the third one. They gave me
Starting point is 01:42:41 Utah, I believe. Then I used Jacob. Jacob got me Colorado. Then I got the last one from a gave me Utah, I believe. And then I used Jacob. Jacob got me Colorado, and then I got the last one from a lobster trap or a crab trap. Yeah, I mean, you did realize that GeoGuessr, if you click around enough, you can find stuff. The problem was I never practiced clicking around. Quigs was doing that for a couple days. So I didn't really. And plus, I'm not really good at geography.
Starting point is 01:43:06 Yeah. So. But I'm happy you got out of it. Dude, so am I. I think you, you know you have to do it again. Yes, this time I think we're going to do countries. Well, I was going to say you could also do 10 in a row. Yeah, no, for sure. But if you watched the stream last night, and I don't know if the Yak chat would agree
Starting point is 01:43:20 with me, but if I went another five hours, I think I can get 10 in a row. Yes. Because I was getting better as it went on. Right. So I would use to do pinpointing the exact location. Yeah. Ooh, that would be a good one. You get a lot of time, but you don't need geographic knowledge.
Starting point is 01:43:38 You can always figure it out. Yeah. He did get a couple exact. Yeah, Scottsdale. He's got Scottsdale, the Naperville from the chat. Kyle's talking to the yard. Yeah, you gotta get 5,000 down to like 100 feet.
Starting point is 01:43:51 He did get Scottsdale because it's like a famous intersection in Scottsdale. He got that pretty much He said you knew Arizona. Yeah, yeah. I was pretty decent with Arizona. Alaska was tough. That was tough, yeah. Didn't know where Alaska was. Oh, I thought it was by Canada.
Starting point is 01:44:06 On the map. It is. It is. But it's to the left of it, right? Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was up more. You had Ludwig tweet at you. And Rainbolt.
Starting point is 01:44:16 Who are those guys? He tweeted at you? Rainbolt was in the chat. No way. Yes, I didn't see the clip. I missed. No, I didn't see that. Rainbolt was in the chat. Are you certain it was him? 100%. It was. It was. Checkmark and everything. Oh,'t see the clip. I missed. No, I didn't see that. Rainbow was in the chat.
Starting point is 01:44:25 Are you certain it was him? 100%. It was Chuck Lorcan and everything. Oh, okay. Rainbow broed him. And he messaged me this morning saying, excellent stream last night. I was on it for at least two hours. No way.
Starting point is 01:44:34 Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, he messaged me on Instagram. And then, because I had a lifeline for the chat, each round I had at least one. So he was in the chat. So I asked him, and he was like bro that's cheating like you can't do that i'm like well but these are the rules yeah ludwig tweeted out yeah he did the longest stream ever right this guy he kind of invented the sub and he's a geo
Starting point is 01:44:57 and he maxed it out he plays all these games but he's a gamer but he's okay got he was the most was he the most subbed on twitch for a while he's he's massive yeah i'm yeah that so that was cool i i knew more about the um rainbolt guy from tiktok just watching his clips and stuff yeah but i the another stream idea somebody had was you verse rainbolt one-on-one and you have to get closer on the map than he is. Just one time. Just one time. That would be great. Do it. That would be cool. Yeah. But how would you do it that he, like, you can't cheat off of him?
Starting point is 01:45:33 We would be in the same room, but just our monitors don't face each other or something maybe. Got it. I don't know. Yeah. I like that. You think I could do it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:41 No. I don't think so. Is Rainbolt just gets it no matter what? No, because there's some places that you just aren't able. Yeah, but did you see Rainbolt's recent post where he got it just off the gradient? They blurred it. Wait, what? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:54 I see this. Rainbolt can look at like a dirt pile and be like, oh, that's like he knows exactly the world. Yeah, Dan, this guy is insane. But he's not even the top professional. That's crazy. He's just the most entertaining and the best at playing.
Starting point is 01:46:08 Oh, there's other people that are just... There's people that are just unbelievable. And they're just... Are they just world travelers? Yeah, how do they know everything about... There's a lot of in-game hacks. Like, you learn about, like, the camera quality can tell you
Starting point is 01:46:20 you're in Senegal. Oh, that's crazy. Like, the posts on the sides of the road. Let's see this. Okay, it's literally just a massive blur. But like I unironically think it's like the gradient of Senegal. That's nuts. What?
Starting point is 01:46:36 Can you explain things like that? You just have to like... That's going to get clipped out of context and I'll probably get called a cheater like at least a thousand times in the comments somewhere. But like... And I don't blame them either wait the gradient is senegal does he mean like the coloring yeah i think yeah probably it probably was a guess but he probably like it's a sandy country like a picture like you show me another clip it looks like a cataract that's insane oh dan some of these are crazy.
Starting point is 01:47:05 They're insane. Fucking nuts. Yeah, it's nuts. KB, how are you, obviously not compared to them, but would you have gotten the five states within an hour? Probably. I mean, I played yesterday and didn't know shit. Really?
Starting point is 01:47:20 Except I got some lucky spots. Yeah. Yeah, I guess we did play it's very fun like audiences despite um who they are love to watch it looks crazy this is like insane like you would go mexico on this solely because it looks like it's from the movies it has like the yellow tent you know but for me personally i think i might just go like the u.s and i think the yellow tent's ran through you off, you know Maybe I go border like Texas or whether this is sick. It's like the dust covers. I don't know
Starting point is 01:47:57 Idaho walk the hook in okay. So we have Chevron's makes you think we're gonna be Nordic Is every Denmark Okay, so we have Chevrons. Makes me think we're going to beat Nordic. Is it ever Denmark? Denmark wouldn't really have many tunnels like that, though, but... I'm trying to figure out what this is on the side. I guess you go Norway or Denmark here. I'm going to go Southern Norway and hedge Denmark, but commit Norway. Let's try it. Oh, he's missing.
Starting point is 01:48:21 But just max North. Wow. You got the country, right? Well... Oh. We got the country, right? Well, we got the country, right? TJ, have you seen this video? Yeah. All right, well, thanks, Jerry.
Starting point is 01:48:34 You got it. Have a good rest of the year. Appreciate it. I wanted to ask, are you guys having a fun barbecue or something tonight? No. We're going to sink Brandon's boat. Yeah, that's cool.
Starting point is 01:48:43 Will it be live or no? No, we're going to sink Brandon's boat. That's cool. We'll be live? No, it's going to tape. If you want to come up and be... Zah, are you officially not going? Oh, yeah. If you want to come and be Zah's weight, you can. Weight? Yeah, but Zah can't go. Because he just can't make it.
Starting point is 01:49:01 Alright. Alright. This long... What the f... This long... Year BN or whatever. Long year... Does the compass work here?
Starting point is 01:49:17 It's one of these streets. Wait, I'm gonna try and find... What the fuck? How does he know that? I guess just from playing so much. And he doesn't move around? No. He plays a lot of modes where you can't move around.
Starting point is 01:49:32 It's like up here. This one. That is gettable. We will take that. It's because it's such a distinct looking place. I wouldn't have got it. Longyearbyen? It's like the northernmost settlement distinct looking place. I wouldn't have got it. Longyearbyen? It's like the northernmost settlement in the world.
Starting point is 01:49:48 Oh. Huh. Shit. What a crazy brain. There it is. Ice bath. I'm going to have to get into it so many times tomorrow night. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:50:02 Yeah, what's the rule for that? I don't know. We got to figure it out maybe money is it dale themed no it's pete frady's number three i i said the same thing tj he played uh college baseball the dale i didn't think it looked like a nascar number but i said hope Pete Freight is just a big Dale fan. Yeah. Have you done a cold plunge? No. Yes, but not...
Starting point is 01:50:31 Like, I've done it at the gym where it's like not the ice, but it's cold. Sucks. Sucks. Yeah, I don't want to do this. You shouldn't.
Starting point is 01:50:41 But ALS is a terrible disease. You have to. Right. But I don't want to How long? I don't know A minute I mean I'm gonna do it all day tomorrow We're gonna do it on the yak
Starting point is 01:50:54 And then I'm gonna do it at Doug's Damn we gotta do that I'm gonna Yeah we're gonna do Do the dick thing Maybe we won't have people look at each other's dicks maybe we just go in with the tape measure okay i would do that i would do that yeah everyone comes out with the tape measure yeah that's diabolical is there like a more zoomed in tape measure yeah yeah i need is there a smaller
Starting point is 01:51:21 tape oh what about like at cemeteries when you put the paper and you do the crayon across it? We do that. A charcoal rubbing. Yes. Yeah, we could do that. I'll measure.
Starting point is 01:51:36 I don't... Yeah, that's fine. We could get like a roll of tinfoil and you could just make a duplicate. Yeah, like a... That's almost worse. Let's get dildo molds. Just mold our
Starting point is 01:51:49 cold. Oh my god. Oh, Steven, you wrote some questions for Zlata. Oh. Shout out to Zlata. Those were mainly Zlata questions. Ask Nick instead. Ask Nick.
Starting point is 01:52:06 Question number one. Striker who played with teams like inter milan barcelona ac milan paris saint germain germain manchester united and the la galaxy question mark oh yeah question is that good question that's a good question steven so yeah so just to repeat it's the question the first question is striker who played with teams like inter milan barcelona ac milan paris Paris Saint Germain Manchester United and LA Galaxy question mark all right I shouldn't have the question mark at the end that was a I was trying to give baseline facts for those that uh Nick you've never bet back down from a beef is there one specific fight that stands out to you nope okay talk about that backheel scissor kick When you were on the LA Galaxy Question mark
Starting point is 01:52:46 I'm about to walk out I'm pissed off What is your favorite goal The next one Nice Well not with Malasek Yeah my god Is he walking around like Mince just trying to
Starting point is 01:53:04 We can play it, TJ. We can play the clip. We should unleash him. Let him go flaunt that. Yeah. Yeah, no, he can play it. We should score a goal on him, though. Yeah, wait.
Starting point is 01:53:22 If you score on Malasek, does that make you better than Flop? We all have. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go score on Malasek. I've got to humble him. That was a hell of a save. That was good. Wait, did he kick four?
Starting point is 01:53:39 Yeah, I think he reset one. I think this might backfire. That went right at him. I'm worried this is going to backfire. I'm worried Big Cat is going to seek to humble Malasek, and all he's going to do is just get stonewalled. Because Malasek might be buzzing right now. He might be on his aching.
Starting point is 01:53:57 This might backfire. Malasek, if you're watching, make this your Twitter profile picture, your header, everything. How's he at? Bumble. Bumble. No way he's on that. Yeah, that's what I said.
Starting point is 01:54:14 This is the worst guy to have it happen to. He's going to waste it. He's going to do nothing with it. Wait until it's done. I mean, other than just, like, taunt us. Yeah. But he's not going to... He's not going to do that.
Starting point is 01:54:27 Now, what if he lets Big Cat? All right. Oh, my God. Nope. Malicek. He's confident. Oh, shoot. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:41 That's all he had to do. Easy. Easy. He stinks. He does stink. Who stinks? Malasek. What does that mean about Zlotz?
Starting point is 01:54:51 Z. Yeah. I should have told Zlotz, you just got to go low. Look, he needed to be humbled. He's walking around. All right, we got anything else? I'm just excited to go sink a boat yeah so we're gonna run this episode on the on friday august 9th that will be when the boat episode comes out
Starting point is 01:55:12 rough and rowdy day rough and rowdy day i want to plug uh pop punk oh yeah oh amazing in a song uh what are you going tomorrow night uh i'm leaving friday after mostly sport so i'll miss the show friday i gotta drive to clemeth but uh can we get a hint on the song um hmm is the lead singer of the band that you're singing also an elite the initials are the initials also an elite Nazi group. No, no. I see where you're going with it. No. Creed? Yeah. Scott Stapp. Oh, yeah. My hint is I am seeking to finish what I started.
Starting point is 01:55:54 We'll put it that way. Okay. Whoa. Are you going to go to Urban Meyer's brew house? Get fingered? Yeah. They should sell shirts. Yeah, I got fingered to Urban Meyer's brew house? Get fingered? Yeah. They should sell shirts. Yeah, I got fingered at Urban Meyer's. We were talking about it on Monday because he's got a Spanish, a Mexican beer on the menu.
Starting point is 01:56:14 And its name is El Lager. It's a great name. It's a great name. What does that even fucking mean? El Lager. Is it the Lager? Is it the Lager? Yeah, the Lager. Okay, well, let's spin the wheel and let's get out of here.
Starting point is 01:56:31 We're at two hours. We started early. Anyone who missed the beginning, there's a lot of times here. And then tomorrow we'll figure out what we're doing with this ice bath. Yeah, we'll just measure our dicks. Yeah, we'll just measure our dicks for the people. And then we'll put out a chart. We'll make a our dicks. Yeah, we'll just measure our dicks for the people. And then we'll put out a chart. We'll make a graphic.
Starting point is 01:56:46 Yeah. We should actually put out a chart in Braille, which will be true to science. We'll see. Oh, fuck this. No way. You've got to be kidding me. What? What?
Starting point is 01:56:58 What? Slotin has to be on the wheel. Yeah, he is. He's on the wheel. Brandon's on the wheel Donnie Chef Donnie Oh my god
Starting point is 01:57:10 Fuck Malasek God damn it The amount of goals I scored stoned was Zlatan in FIFA Just like seeing him in person is wild. Yeah, I'm not a huge soccer fan, but I know he's huge. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:31 I've just played him in a video game so many times. Yeah, he is. Did you make him dance? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm doing backflips. FIFA's a great game. He's a larger-than-life guy, for sure.
Starting point is 01:57:47 All right, TJ. Fuck. FIFA's a great game He's a larger than life guy For sure Yeah Alright TJ Fuck And we do have a Tub of water right here Already Oh is it already Filled Yeah I think they're filling Fuck
Starting point is 01:57:58 Right now So You could just Dip yourself in there Whoever's doing this Is getting wet twice today Let me see Let me see Yeah oh yeah Let me see When the boat sinks could just dip yourself in there. Whoever's doing this is getting wet twice today. Let me see.
Starting point is 01:58:06 Let me see. Yeah, oh, yeah. Let me see. When the boat sinks, my hope is that the boat sinks in the depth that we can stand up on the boat at the bottom, and we'll just be up to our legs. I hope the boat sinks, and it's very underwhelming. And we're all like, oh, that kind of wasn't worth it. And then we just leave. And we leave.
Starting point is 01:58:25 Immediately leave. Oh, Brandon, you're right kind of wasn't worth it. And then we just leave. And we leave. Immediately leave. Oh, Brandon, you're right. This wasn't worth it at all. When a boat sinks, it's pretty much impossible to get it out of. Yeah, we're not getting it out. Mostly because we're not going to try. I'm going to go home. We're all going to just give one hard pull.
Starting point is 01:58:43 It's not going to go anywhere. And then we're going to go anywhere and then we're gonna i don't know brandon and then brandon's just stuck with a boat in the bottom of the lake yeah damn brandon you were right the whole time i've become a new fishing coral new reef you bringing any tungsten nick today oh my god. I don't have any to waste. Fill your pockets with tungsten. I wish. Is tungsten used for anything?
Starting point is 01:59:13 Like practical. Do I have tungsten in my house and I don't know it? I'm not sure if you do. NASCARs. Yeah, to balance out NASCARs. The military tried to make these tungsten spikes that they would drop that would have the same impact as a bomb when they would hit. They're so dense and heavy. Damn.
Starting point is 01:59:31 Where is tungsten? Like, mined? I don't know. China? Dude, I don't know. What was the Federation location? Greater New York? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:42 We made that up. We just bought those custom cards, dude. No, but like the actual company that we bought the tungsten from. Oh, that was in Indiana. It might have been PA. Might have been PA. Jason Tatum's in the starting lineup today. Really?
Starting point is 01:59:58 Overcompensate much? That's hilarious. I hope they play him one day. Yeah. It'd be so funny. Is Embiid starting? No, Anthony Davis. All right, spin it, TJ.
Starting point is 02:00:11 I wanted Embiid to start every game. Who are they playing? South Sudan. He's got a good program. I'm kind of rooting for him. Looking to make some noise. Luol Deng is like the head of it. Slotting people. It's ridiculous. Would you call his people? Luol Deng is like the head of it.
Starting point is 02:00:27 It's ridiculous. Would you call his people? I would have to text. I don't know if we'd ever get it, but I would have to. You would have to. It's going to be me. No, you can't do that this early. I'm always final four.
Starting point is 02:00:44 Come on. We're fine. TJ never gets wet. Ever. He never gets wet. Come on. I got a bad feeling. That tub is full enough now you can get in it. So winner of this gets in the tub.
Starting point is 02:01:07 Yeah. It's not cold yet, so that's good. That's super wet. Yeah. Oh, there you go. Oh, fuck. Yay. All right.
Starting point is 02:01:21 All right. The wheel was funny Every fucking time it's me It's so annoying Stop I've got a pink and grey ass wheel Every time You're already getting nervous?
Starting point is 02:01:37 Yes I'm very nervous I'm not nervous yet Oh stop Oh that's two in a row I'm fucked that's two in a row. I'm fucked. That's two in a row. Stop. There you go. There it is. It's going to be Zlatan. It's going to be Zlatan.
Starting point is 02:02:04 There you go, Nick. There you go, Nick. There you go, Nick. Yeah, get those burks back on. Really, the four main characters of the show today are the four guys there. Oh, damn. Sigh of relief from him, I'm sure. Mm-hmm. Shit.
Starting point is 02:02:28 Fuck. All right, we got to FaceTime Brandon. Yeah. Should I get Chef in here? You have to pull over. Yeah. He's going to have to get in his lake. hey wet wheel you're in the finals you're in the finals wet wheel donnie Donnie. Chef. How do I get wet? Well, where are you?
Starting point is 02:03:07 Are you close to home? I'm almost there. We didn't start yet. All right, so then just zoom. If you lose, you got to zoom in and get in your pond. It's a lake. It's a pond. It's a lake.
Starting point is 02:03:22 Would you like to stay on the line while we do the finals? Yeah. Okay. All right, go ahead, TJ. Would you like to stay on the line while we do the finals? Yeah Alright, go ahead TJ 1-0 you, Brandon Very good Don't have to piss yourself Is Donnie aware this is happening? He's like over there
Starting point is 02:03:43 I am fucked up today Holy shit, Kate Piss yourself. Is Donnie aware this is happening? He's like over there in the kitchen. Oh, hey. I am fucked up today. Holy shit, Kate. I know. Says Donnie aware he's over there in the kitchen. Earlier when you were sitting there talking, I was like, where is his voice coming from right now? And I couldn't figure out where you were. I think he walked.
Starting point is 02:03:59 1-1. 1-1, Brandon. 2-1 you. 2-1 you. 2-1. Fuck. You're not being possessed. Brandon. What? You can watch the show. I don't even know what you're saying.
Starting point is 02:04:12 3-1 Brandon. You're good, Brandon. You're good, man. You're good. You want me to hang up? You're good. Are you sure I'm good? No. Oh, shoot. 3-2 You're good though
Starting point is 02:04:29 3-3 Don't sweat it big dog Oh it's 3-3 Let's go It's now 3-3 Game 7 I'm telling the truth It's all being recorded believe it or not Final. Game 7. I'm telling the truth. It's all being recorded, believe it or not.
Starting point is 02:04:47 Final game. Game 7. Oh! All right, Kate, you want to go tell Donnie? Okay, I'll be right back. Brandon, you're good. We'll see you later. So, do I just have to go in the shower? Well, here's the thing, Donnie. Is it full?
Starting point is 02:05:05 It's full enough. Dad, do you want my shoes off? Yeah. Take that shirt off, too. Get fucking naked. You thought you had to go in with... Don't even think about it. Don't talk.
Starting point is 02:05:21 Don't talk. Just do it. Looks like the chef is about to marinate. Oh, this is going to be fun for tomorrow. Oh! He's soaked. That's as wet as a man can be. That was good.
Starting point is 02:05:35 Yeah, Donnie. Oh, good job. This is going to be fun for tomorrow. Yeah. I think we might have to do like a... Look how wet he is. He's soaked. I think we might have to do like a...
Starting point is 02:05:51 Oh, Jesus Christ, you're soaked. We might have to do... Wise words. Nick, we should think up of a game or something. Yeah. Where it's like every 10 minutes someone has to be in the tub for two minutes. Okay, we'll think of some sort of time game or something. Yeah. Where it's like every 10 minutes someone has to be in the tub for two minutes. Okay, yeah, we'll think of some sort of time-based this. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:10 Yeah, we could have fun with this. You could spin a wheel for a body part that's submerged. Yeah, and you have to hold it in there for a certain amount of time. Pain tomorrow. Yeah. What if we put some apples in there? Oh, yeah, I'm wearing a a bathing suit I'll go topless tomorrow If you can get two apples out you can leave
Starting point is 02:06:28 Do you have another Phillies jersey for me Yeah I got you Alright we'll come up with something Alright see everyone It's the act It's the act It's the act. It's the act. It's your straws, yeah, style of day for a while. It's the act. It's the act.
Starting point is 02:06:56 It's the act. Yeah, it's time to talk shop and do a Yankee swap. It's the act. It's the act. See you tomorrow. Bye.

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