The Yard - BEST OF THE YARD (2024)

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

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Hey everyone, uh, Slime's playing, what is that, horse electrolytes? Yeah, yeah, it's my favorite instrument. Thanks for watching the yard in 2024, here's a little bit of a best of compilation. Man, what a year it's been. What a year it's been. Some say it's one of our years of all time. I agree. It's one of your years of all time, that's right, Slime.

I think that the most Rasta-Claught years are just ahead of us. And that's what I've been saying. So I hope you enjoy this compilation in lieu of an episode and I hope 2025 is even better. And if there's something that's missing from this that you thought was a better inclusion that's absent. Come kill Aiden about it. Kill Aiden.

Come kill Aiden about it. All right, have a good one. And also when you tell your friends about this podcast, don't tell them it's misogynistic. They'll get that slowly. Tell them it's not that straight up. Can we stop this podcast, don't tell them it's misogynistic. They'll get that slowly. Tell them it's not that straight up. Can we stop doing that? Just tell them it's not misogynistic. I love this podcast.

Next year we're gonna start lying about the Yard podcast. Hey, there's not even gonna be one misogynistic or racist clip in this best stuff. Not even a single one. It's funny how childbirth is so severe and violent, but breasts are so soft and good. Ew. What? That was a gross sentence to listen to. I didn't like it. That was one of the worst sentences.

I don't like that. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a weird episode. If we're doing an end of year recap and we're doing the worst most in the art, that's top 10. Dude, you should be killed. What did I do? Let me ask you a question, Rainbow. Is it pink?

What the fuck? I wasn't expecting a profound question. Million dollar I need it for you. I got a million dollar I need it for you. You have a million dollars. Million dollars. What the what? So I thought about my phone.

Do you want me to just show you my penis? No, I don't want to see your penis. Do you want to see his penis? I want you to know if you guys have done this because I would do this. No, I can do this. Please don't show me your penis. Actually, you know what? Fuck it. It's morning. Who cares? Zipper gives a thumbs up.

That was crazy. Come on. Come on, Jit. I want to see it. Show me that dick. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. My eyes are closed. Oh God. Wait. Pull it back. Pull it back.

Pull it back. Pull it back. I want to see it. This is so graphic. This is so graphic. Eww! Eww! Dude it looks like you know the dots candy from the movie theater. Yeah Why don't we ever do shit like that? Why don't we play professional sports and cheatin' them? Yeah, right. That's answer the question. That's kinda what we're doing on weekends. Cause you- is dating my girlfriend a professional sport? That's kind of what we're doing on weekends. Is dating my girlfriend a professional sport? Pfft. Hahahaha.

Sanz, you think he's mean to you sometimes? For sure. Okay. When? I think you said, can I piss on your face when we were recording them? That's not mean. And then you said, can I blow ropes on your face? And when I said no to both of those, you said, I hope you kill yourself.

Wow. So it's like, you can determine what is mean to you. I will answer the question is what does it mean to me? I think that's fair. Yeah. And so, Slime, what do you say to that? Yeah. How do you feel about this case?

No, you don't have to say anything. I don't think that it was, I think you took it the wrong way. Right. And we spin a wheel. And it's a 50-50 split wheel. If it lands on our side, you tattoo us. And if it lands on your side, we tattoo you. Wow.

See, so many people would spin it, lose, then be like, ah. Can't make me. They sign a legally binding contract. I don't think you can make them do that. We can tackle them. We can tackle them. And then do it. I can make him do that. We can tackle him. We can tackle him and then do it. I can make anyone do it.

That sounds problematic. Because they're all ticklish. Because I don't choose to. We tickle him while they get the tattoo. I don't think he's getting better. I don't think they're in this. I think it's just us right now. OK.

I would keep this between us. OK, let's just keep it between us. Do you think our fans are ticklish? No. I made it. to us. Do you think our fans are ticklish? I made it. I have I look like the prolapsed anus of a peep. Come on, we all want to hear it. We want to hear it. No, I'm done. OK, OK. Don't be pissy now. Don't eat more.

Don't eat more. You got to feed on the show. You guys want to hear a 45 minute story about the airport? So one of the first things that this fine young man ever said to me was, Yo, I heard you had a vasectomy. Can you still cum? You said that? What do you think the answer is? Things you can Google for 200 minutes.

I know what the answer is. Oh, you're a big fucking cummer. I've looked up vasectomies. Yeah, you look up cum all the time. You're so cool, dude. Yeah, I look up cum. Big nutter, dude. Big nutter over here. I'm a true beater. Okay, my question to you is, what do you think the point of a vasectomy is?

I thought it was like you clamp the cum and then it just builds up and then like every six months you poke a hole and you just expel it. Oh my god, what? It's so you can cum with your wife. No, no, ultimately you don't have to wear a cum. With your wife. And you're married and you love each other. The reason you get vasectomy is not to cum. When a man and a woman. When a man and a woman. My wife never comes. I need one of them to stay. I know, I got bored so I tried to stimulate my prostate with my fingers. Don't tell us this ever. Please never tell us this. You are too old to tell us this. You are an actual monkey. This is how monkeys spend their time.

They lay on the floor, they play with their prostate. Dude, they eat their food with no preference. It's all cold Test results It's so difficult. I didn't get close to my I don't think I did You can't like You can't like get to it bro your, your prostate's gotta be the size of a fucking bowling ball. No, I'm talking about like, try, alright, imagine if you would, if it's not too scary for you, hetero normative boys. Try to think about putting a finger in your asshole.

And try to get it way up in there. How would you do it? How would I do it? I'd just, I'd full send. In what way? Do you go this way? Do you go this way? I go, I go, go two legs up two legs up You think that would work. You don't need to do that Your wrist you don't singer no the double singer doesn't work. It's the end. That's how I know that you're a fucking fake

I've got a bad dragon at home. I just use that Zipper please I thought about grabbing the Lilo But I fucking did it. This is fucking nature. This is our chicken clasp. Because you've done it, right? With your fingers? Don't say that stank too.

I don't think it was brand new after trying it! I put my fingers in a condom and put them on my ass. No way you used a condom? Yeah, because you don't want to get poop on your butt. That's fucking embarrassing. Disney adults are people who can afford an annual pass. Yeah, they're fucking weird. Yeah, they probably have weird idealized versions

of their childhood that will never be able to access ever again. But for one brief moment, when they go 40 times a year to Disneyland, they can feel that. Okay. Anaheim has bought the airspace over Disneyland or Disneyland has bought it from Anaheim. You cannot fly over Disneyland. Did you know that?

My wife makes me dress up as Donald Duck and quack into her box. You're honest. Thank you for your contribution. I appreciate that. Much like Mario modding Mario Kart Wii where you take a file, you know, you want you want Peach to be naked on the bike, you know, how was Peach? You know what? You know why that gets really tricky, though?

Because she's a minor. That's the damn why. Not the peach part. The teachers in her 40s surely. I hope so. Mario was a plumber. I don't know about you. I know no plumbers under 18. They would hope so. Mario's a plumber. I don't know about you. I know no plumber's under 18.

They're all old. I'm talking about Peach, right? That's all I'm saying. Well, they have sex, so. So deal with it. So that's your problem to deal with. Mario and Peach age got problematic? Dude, the legal age, the legal age.

The Mushroom Kingdom? The Mushroom Kingdom. Age of Consent? It's like Germany. Don't ask Nintendo. Nintendo Japanese company. The legal age, the legal age of the Mushroom Kingdom, age of consent. It's like Germany. Don't ask Nintendo. Nintendo Japanese company. Is that why Bowser kidnapped everyone to change the age of consent? No, he wants to make it 18 again.

He's the hero. He wants to go back up. That's fucked up, bro. That's when you find out the real enemy was Mario. He wanted to lower the Mushroom Kingdom age of consent? Disgusting. Nah, Luigi's the real pedophile. OK.

She used to want to help women prep and give birth, and she knows everything about it. You know what a duel is? Like a gangster Yu-Gi-Oh player. Let's go a lot of way. Yeah, man. I love it. I should know.

I missed you, bro. I love it. I love it. You missed you bro. I missed you bro. You look like the first American to get AIDS. This is what Nick would say, well I can't go in. I have a friend named Afghanistan. My mom's got a handicap sign. Cause she's got a handicap. She's got a handicap sign because she's got a handicap. She got a handicap son.

It's true. So you took him to the Dodgers. So we surprise him by taking him to the Dodgers game. It was me, Stans, Rochelle, Atri, Akari. You could have just said that we went to the... I get it. Go ahead. You wanted virtue signal points.

I get it. Wow. I'm just letting you know the context. Mogul fail. Yeah. Hell yeah. signal points I get it wow I'm just letting you know the content will fail hey yeah maybe we'll like dinner a little or go to one of those what do they call options That is crazy! I wanna see your dad's me. I wanna go to the auto with your dad. What's crazy about that?

All dads have me. Your dad, he's in San Jose. Your dad's in Germany. I would say Mr. Fu, how you doing that? Stop stop stop stop. Mr. Fu with the damn vanilla noodle. He's like nose of your content. He watches you. He thinks you're funny. Mr. Fu!

Not that far, Mr. Fu. Mr. Fu, if you wanna hop in a tub in Kyoto, on me. Mr. Foo, you got the thickest shit I've ever done. I am so happy to see finally the young man that my beautiful daughter has been spending so much damn time with. Can you show them your sunburn? Uh, yeah. It's crazy. Dude, I came in. I was the last one to get here. Oh, shit! DJ DJ racist in the morning

today we have a special guest on the it's racist time and welcome. Is anyone going to join? This is your age. I think I would teach our kid. How to fish live off the land real dad off the land. Yeah, you know, we will do the same technique. I'm bestowing on them. You know shit. Live off the land. Yeah. You know, be able to- With the same technique I'm bestowing on them. You know what I mean, Lud?

Me and you. You talking about- Catching a fish, eating box, it's the same art. Cause I'm actually talking about- It's the same art. Catch, kill, clean. Yeah, you all be fishing, I be tackling box. And that's all we got.

And that's all we got. And that's all we got. I actually teach our kid how to be fucking normal. Can I just say, Simon and I were messaging last night and I said, Oh my God, I'm pulling up with the curls out. And he goes, Me too, twin, bestie. I pull up today. He's bald. How old are you?

I'm turning 28 next month. We're the same age? Yeah. That's beast. When you turn, how old are you? And then you ignored me. I did. That helped the head count though.

Why did you look away? I keep waiting for something more. Sorry, let's do this again. Look at me in the eyes. You ignored me. I did. You in the eyes. You ignored me. I did. You looked away again. You ignored me.

No, I looked away from dramatic events. You keep looking away. One more time. You have access memories. Just look at him. You ignored me. I did. Why?

No, you don't. I listen to every book at 1.5x speed. Aidan, is listening to an audiobook the same as reading it? No. OK, is it better or worse in terms of interpreting the media? Worse. Okay, awesome. Yeah.

In the same way that- I win. In the same way that watching somebody play through a video game is worse than playing it yourself? No, no! Ew! Ew! Bullet, head, now! What the fuck?

I fucked up. I hate this I hate this so much Am I private? I fucked up Yes I lost on loop the entire contest I know dude it's so fucking funny

I fucked up I fucked up No no no I just think basketball's fun. And it's better with more people. So why don't you invite Ben Shapiro? What? Why don't you invite Ben Shapiro? That's not a friend.

I don't know. That's not a friend. I don't know. I would love to play basketball against Ben Shapiro and destroy him. What about on his team but you have to play on his team? That'd be fine. Oh, wow. So it finally comes out.

Uh oh. Love it was in the paint. The thing is, when I'm in the key, no one cares. OK, they know something three verse Aiden, and he's tall enough to block the shot. So I don't buy basketball is not a game of skill. What has to do with height? I don't know. I tried. You bet you're really good.

That is it. Yeah, that is it. We should have. Let's get it. I freak out. He's walking into a coffee shop with a one a bomb on your chest, but also a GoPro to record you threatening a barista. Is that illegal to record them? Well, it's not a private conversation. That's not a private conversation.

That's public conversation. And you deserve to be in there with a bomb in your chest. But bomb is the bigger issue in this circumstance. It's not even on. It's not even on. It's just on your chest. How is the bomb not on? It's on my body.

Could it blow up? Anything could blow up. Well it's a bomb. It could blow up of course. But it's not armed and on. It's not like on. No but is it visible? Yeah.

It's very visible. It says bomb. It would you gotta press the button. Is it visible? Yeah. It says bomb. It would be an act of terrorism. It says bomb is on, but it's because it was painted on. I can't change that. It is off. I think if you had a fake bomb that said bomb is on and you walked in a coffee shop, that's still illegal. Why would I buy a fake bomb if it said bomb is on?

Yeah, that's dumb as shit. Also, no one should be scared at that point, so it's double stupid. They wouldn't know it's fake if it said, bomb is on. Well, I'd be yelling, I have a fake bomb. Fake bomb, not on! It says bomb is on. You'd still get in trouble. By who?

The police, the government. I wouldn't call them. I have a bomb, why would I call the police? Obviously, you're not the one calling, everyone else in the coffee shop is calling them. The cops wouldn't mess with you. I would activate an EMP. You have an EMP. So I would say I've activated the EMP. You're literally just a domestic terrorist.

No, I'm buying coffee. This is terrorist shit. You keep talking about terrorist. He's activating an EMP. No, he's buying a latte. Oh my God. I'm trying to get a double chocolate chip from a chain room. You know how dangerous that is?

What? They're taking down live medical services and different technologies Oh the medical services of a coffee shop, dude if anything were to go wrong. I have a bomb Yeah, it's just like that was a fucking mouth slip It's a great question if they don't type you can tell by the way they move their pawns like that was so fast You think you're so funny and smart? Even if they don't type, you can tell by the way they move their pawns. Like that was so fast. You think you're so funny and smart.

It's because disease is illness. You're moving fast because you think I'm dumb. It's like Michelle. It's like. Isn't that playing well though? No, no, they would never give them that. No moving quickly is moving with arrogance. I wish I could.

I don't need to calculate. But it's a timed game. That's tough. I'm curious things you've ever said. No, you's not. You called me two nights ago and she was like, she was basically asking if they can use the yard set to record something and I was like, yeah, I don't care.

How can I fence it in this situation? I'm a little iffy on it, but I'm ultimately okay. Try to get a snack out of it. I'll say yes for a snack. I could be bought. Kitty, I would like you to bake me cookies. I wanted to- I- Wafers! Nilla! I wanna borrow your dog.

I wanna borrow your dog for a week. I'd love your dog. I wanna hold your dog up while it shits on your floor. I wanna squeeze the poop out of your dog. I wanna feel like I'm doing it. I won't need to squeeze that hard. I know this from experience. I know this from experience. I know this from experience.

Your dog poops very easily. There's a button. It's like toothpaste coming out of that guy. There's a button under the fur. It kind of comes out like a liquid. The chip that you installed in your dog has other features. It runs on Ubuntu. She's in your Ubuntu Swift.

I can tap into the chip, but I can make your dog do tricks, like backflips and screaming like a man. I want to make auto-type code into your dog. tricks like backflips and screaming like a man. I want to make auto type code in your dog How does that make you feel now? You're about to experience the terror of existence and how all the then nothing's touch Why is it terrifying? I don't know cuz this is so many planks one week I think what it's upsetting about it is that like we have a Experience of the world, you know like touching exists it does But but it also doesn't like look at what's on his hat right now don't invite him voices

Yeah, do you know what goatsies it's I'm sorry, I're a millennial! I'm sorry, I'm gonna explain this to you. But it comes- Are there people yelling? Zipper. That zipper. Zipper is also a surprise.

Many people. There's a few people. I don't think we need to pull up the image, zipper. Keep your fingers down off the keyboard. No, I'll see the image. No, no, no. This little freak sent me a message. He was like, hey, can I go swim in your pool?

And then I was like, all right, okay. He's trying to stasis mom you. And I was like, what's going on here? You asking me to go swimming? Do you want to swim with your girl? And he's like, I just want to swim with my girl. I was like, all right. That's, oh, dude.

I was like, that's fine. But then I tried calling him. He shows up, oh, this is Raul. Oh, dude! I was like, that's fine. But then I tried calling him. It was Raul. I tried calling him because I'm like, what do you want? Like, what do you want? Like, what are you trying to like? Explain to me what you really need to go down. And then he doesn't answer.

And I'm like, wow. So I wait a couple minutes, call back. No answer. Send a text. No answer. I'm like, this guy's freaking his shit. He's freaking his damn shit in that pool. He's freaking shit And that's what I thought and then he sends me a text and he goes I was sorry I was playing games I was playing board games Because when I called you back you sounded and I was like hey, can we still can we just you're like hey? You know we need someone new to pick on we've been to me in a case you didn't like

I'm sending this you right now zipper even to me. I want you to see what he did. Us foe got it. This actually fucked up. You can't do that to a guy. Wait, this isn't the clitoris? He looks like he has progeria. I don't even know what that is. Nick Allen has to explain it. Is there a drug for that? It's exactly what it sounds like. Progeria Oh No it's not! That is what he's Peter! I'm saying that! He has so much meat! I just posted a picture! You're being like, I can't help but say he looks like he has Progeria

Now, now, now where is Progeria? They're, they're embroidered in a conflict right now That was before the carpet split apart When I was a little kid, my mom was vacuuming and I watched her vacuum up an ant And I swear to God, I heard him scream. It sounded like a man. He heard an ant scream. He's like a man.

He swears. I swear to God. To this day, I remember, I remember. And yeah, I was like, Mom, did you hear that? He screamed. And she was like, annoyed, like vacuuming. And she's like, you know, I'm busy. Dude.

And he- You saw a man die. Well, it was an ant get sucked up in a tube. It's created a verbal tic in the meat world server. Where someone, every once in a while, like Alex or Eric, someone will be like, Aunt Anthony heard an aunt scream. And that boy heard an aunt scream like a man. Yeah, and you know what else, Discord, make it so that we get free candy.

Or else I'll gut Wumpus like a catfish. Yeah, and show us pictures of Wumpus naked. Yeah, let me see Wumpus' little fucking piggies and his fucking asshole Discord you fuckers. It fixed the copy thing but also Wumpus's tits I wanna see Wumpus's fucking gaping shit I wanna see Wumpus shit And maybe Wumpus have three breasts not two I like I like discord because they got all them Easter eggs

You know you click the right arrow key three times and Wumpus shows whole Is there an animal you hate? No, okay, well then what if it was a racist animal? Yeah, what if it was a racist animal? Is there an animal you hate? No. Okay, well then. What if it was a racist animal? Yeah, what if it was a racist animal? We're past the question now, guys. No, not really.

Would you hate a racist animal? Are rats racist? I don't think they can be. Wow. What if I made one? You're pretty funny, man. You're funny, man. Alright. We're the same.

No, you're not. I think we're the same! We actually had an entire bit earlier about how you're not the same. Here, hold on, let's do that. Why don't you tell us your best joke? We're the same. There was this whole thing about how white women love to fuck dogs. For context, my Japanese teacher is an overseas sex pest.

But he's really into teaching me Japanese. So I'm like, that's cool, whatever. So I talked to him. Teaching you Japanese? Banger He can't just, he can't just fawn at the mirror of yourself all day That's greatest, I just want the greatest work Sure do you got the fattest

Dude I kinda rule Did you see the streamer words drama? Which one? Fill me up loving with your drama Fill me up with your hot I kind of rule you see the streamer words drama. What is it? With your Go see your I want it all tell me So at the creamer awards I think honesty is dead okay, For example, let's start with Ludwig last week during the meeting. He said, he said, not once, not twice, maybe, maybe 20, 25 times. He said, Papa don't play ball for less than Iraq.

Yeah. Which is not a lot. I think it's a lot. It's like to him, it's so little. Breaking news listeners, his YouTube deal wasn't as big this year. Papa don't play no ball. We're cutting goss. So you're saying that Papa should be playing ball, Aiden? Papa's gonna start playing ball for a hundred. Okay!

That's kind of pathetic. That's how you used to play poker in sixth grade? No you didn't. You played poker? Yeah. You were looking at any two cards? The big blind. We got the big blind. How big would you stack? Okay, straight to the wibble.

One in a ton. I saw a weird voice. I screamed a lot. More representative of your age group. I wish you were dead. Down. Down kitten. You'll inherit a boiling planet. I'm more representative of your age group. I wish you were dead. Hey, hey, down. I wish you were dead. Down, kitten. You'll inherit a boiling planet.

The second type of food, we were walking with the milkshakes. What would I say to you about Mr. Bean? Oh, Mr. Bean. All the Mr. Bean jokes he was trying to come up with while he was at the Bean in Chicago. I was like, dude, you're manic right now. What is happening? He's just in a state you've never seen before.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen Nick like this. So, I remember what I said. I said, I'm on our beam, mister. And then... So, I'm gonna snap my fingers, and then I'm gonna have a milkshake in the hand that I snapped my fingers in. Alright, three two one It came The milkshake came with matches And then you thought that'd be an opportune time to call your dad for Father's Day. Yes next to me. Yeah

I had to I called him that morning. He didn't pick up just been 16 years since I got to celebrate little a must have jump in for you for me hop in I didn't do for me pop in be like pops. He's like hey pops Yeah, I want to talk to I wanted to talk to your dad and you wouldn't let me I wouldn't let him you wouldn't That's what he kept saying I wouldn't let him. You wouldn't let him. Dude, that's gross. I know. I want my time. I know. That's what he kept saying. I want my time. He wants any time. What are you doing?

Amen. Amen. And you're looking at King K-Rule pornography. Well, no, cause, cause. So I got upset cause Aidan would let me talk to his father and he had to spend our whole 40 minute bus ride talking to his father. So what do you do?

You rebel. And so I rebelled, I lashed out. Cause I I can't talk to I've no one to talk to way back There's nobody next to me Why's the solution to be? Look at the alligator from Donkey Kong with a cock ring on I look Do you Never mind no say it man. I love you. Do you? Never mind. No, say it man. Say that shit man.

Say that shit. Say that shit. Speak it. Say it. I don't think you're capable of love. Wow. No, no. Well, at least sit with it.

Wow. Think about it. You can't just reject it off of you. I didn't reject it. It would make you close minded to reject it off of you. Wow. Wow. All right.

Don't look at him like that. Don't use that power of yours. No, no, no. He's so funny. Oh my god. Why is it so funny when you're looking at me like that? What do you think guys? No, don't cast it on them. Close your eyes if you're watching. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes at home. I beg you. I can love you. You should. I beg you. Coming at home. I can love you. You should let me love you. Love you. What do you want me to do? What would Nick be doing? When you said that we could do this, you meant like I'm a bro? You can be. Huh?

That's Star Act or Material. Okay. Yes sir. Flip it over a little bit. What? Okay, okay. Ready? You're a Swedish guy Flip it over a little bit. What? Okay, okay, ready? You're a Swedish guy. You have a gross accent. It's almost intelligible.

You're speaking to somebody at a McDonald's. And then you go, and then you go, and then you go. You're giving me my line? You don't take cash? You're giving me my line? Yeah, that's a line. But the backstory, your whole family has been killed hours earlier, and you know that. And what was the line you said? You don't take cash, but

Don't forget the accent My whole family's just been killed. They've been brutally murdered and you loved them. It would be Sorry, the cash registers out today. It's card only here It's card only here. You can't look at Aiden. You don't have that fault here. Okay, reset. Alright, sorry director, I won't say your things. You say reset.

Reset, reset! Does this mean roll? We're not rolling? We didn't roll on that. Okay, let's roll. Can we get a clap? Give me a fucking diet coke! Can we get a clap? We're clapping, so it's still a short film. No diet coke by the way, ribbons only.

You know that several. Okay, aaaand action! Yeah, manager says uh, register's broken, card only, card only. Cut, cut, cut! What the fuck is it? What is it? Brogan said card only card only What the fuck is it why is he not we in Sweden he's doing amazing Sweet in America

Squeak when he came to compete for the first time Your family got fucking murdered because the town hates Swedish people. I got it. I'll reset. Okay, or I'll AD. Reset, okay, everyone, places. Hey, can we get, can we get makeup for the next, he just looks really... He's not on camera for any of this. It's just behind the shoulder.

Okay, good, okay, thank you. They call it behind the shoulder shot. Okay, go ahead. You can call it. Action. Yeah, register's out of cash today. It's card only. You don't take cash?

Do you remember Kahoot? Yeah. Yeah, so I used to use Kahoot in school. Do I remember Kahoot? He didn't. Well, I don't remember it. I didn't have it when I was in school. I just know of it. Well, I'd say remember because I don't think it's used much anymore. Maybe it is. He was not in school anymore I was fondly remembering Kahoot you know messing

with the teacher making funny name for yourself in the game I was like I wonder if I could go find a Kahoot quiz for science and then we could all take it but we're all against you oh four against one of the Try Guys, you guys. Yeah. And guess which one of us is. Discuss. Discuss. What are we discussing? You picked a dog. No, because it's he he. Let me keep it.

Come out of the company account anymore, because we need to save money. How much money is it? That I think like 90 a month. Oh, my God. It's pretty expensive. Yeah, it's pretty rough. That's really expensive. You can still write it off.

It is not. I think it's it's it's definitely above 70. I think it is literally like 69, 99. And then I had the NFL Sunday ticket for like an extra hundred. We. Is more. It is more it is more we need to get rid of the expenses sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday sunday What's up? What's up? Welcome. Welcome to the yard. What episode are we at Ludwig?

Welcome to the yard episode 172. It's not right. It's not 172. Far off. For context, we decided to switch places. Well, what happened last night, we decided last night. Last night what happened is I kissed Ludwig's beautiful mother and a weird Freaky Friday incident occurred And we have switched bodies what so I'm not happen during the Freaky Friday thing There's a lot of gays of the stream reward okay hosting it what and and I feel like you're saying that I'm just mentioning

It is it also a bad noun to use you kind of say like you like you like the fall would be a lot of days and also words can I follow up there's a lot of words one of them bothered me they were gay no he was just gay and he bothered me his name's present in the reverse order You say that's the same thing just flip the order. There's a guy who bothered me and he's gay you might know him as prezzo Sounds worse. Let me do a thought experiment. There's just fucking gay outside that won't go away That doesn't sound like a thought experiment But but how is that you use it as a noun I use it as a noun it does it's worse right it doesn't sound good well because

There's fucking guy outside that just won't stop bothering. Oh, yeah, I try yeah, it's got side just you know won't stop bothering me You're walking right in He has walked in a wheelchair Wish it was more accessible. I really do right really do this is your office Huh, yeah, this is your office. How dare you? It's just what it's just what it is Do you know how hard it is for me to turn and talk to you? Not because of the cast because your face and everything you got on right now.

Right, right. You're saying it's difficult to look at me. I don't fuck with it. Yeah. Where did you get the thing for your neck? What? You didn't... I... I went... Can you not hear?

It's a clavicle brace. I went and saw you after this... the day after... After what? After... If you didn't know, Ludwig got in an accident on his Vespa. I'M GETTING BY A CAR! It's by a car. Going 17!

I was right to worry. I heard it was 12. I was right to worry. It was an adjustable amount, I don't know exactly how it was. It was a blur. Definitely under 20. Oh, the pariah's here. The pariah's here. Take a picture, baby. It'll last under 20. Oh the pariah is here the prize here take a picture baby last longer

How's the Pokemon card doing? I have a hard time gripping with my right hand your Hard time good with you right hand you picked the wheelchair up with your right hand also You're still wearing stolen we spa shorts, and you didn't enter your neck Wow you did it Where where did you get a wheelchair? Uh huh. I have people. I have people who I find these things wrong. Did you get Nick Eagling to buy this this morning?

No. The guy who hit me had a wheelchair in his car. I said, give it to me. It still has a barcode on it. No wait, what? The chances of that. I said, give it to me, I don't call the cops. It still has a barcode on it.

Dude, it actually does. It's a newer purchase he had. So why don't we circumvec to how is it complicated? Well, so one time I was at the doctor and he asked me

and we had just done the stuff without the pants. What? You fucked your doctor? Do you think Ludwig, they ask you people like Aiden Sorry again Can you hear it's just so hard to see yeah, I'm in the press Like this like it's just like your reactions are as if you can't hear but then you say it's a seeing thing It's not your color blue. I

Think it brings my eyes out that people don't realize they're blue. That's what I'm saying. No one knows you that isn't that funny? No one cares about eyes. They're not blue Hmm. Did you get what are they? Did you lose some of your cones? Thank you for bringing it up. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I lost like 50% of my cones. How did you manage to hit your arm, legs, neck, and head? What a phrase. How did I manage to hit it? Why don't you ask how the car managed to hit it? Victim blaming, that's what it's called.

The car hit me! Did you have your AirPods in? No, I didn't! It's crazy that being over a stinky two for Ludwig is still victim weight. Did it soften the blow? A little bit, yeah, actually. He calls you a bitch every day. I don't, because I stopped using it.

Nothing he says hurts. Does that make sense? It's like a puppy yapping. And you're like, okay, settle down. She's so much meaner than I am. And I feel like people... You call me a bitch! I saw you using it on your stream. It's for the thousands of people. Can we roleplay? I'm a nurse.

I'm a Buxom nurse. You're you, and I'm the bank. Can I at least be Buxom? I'm the bank coming to get your mortgage for the month. Can you just say I'm Buxom? You're Buxom, but you're still you. I'll be a sailor. Compromise. You're Buxom and you're you.

That's right. Okay. So, here I am. Dude, that's a Buxom man. I'm the bank. Hello, hello, sir. Well endowed, sir. Hey, shut the fuck up!

Okay, sorry, there's a guy heckling me. Your son is very beautiful. Tall for his age. Do you have your mortgage this month? Or're coming to get it from you. Oh Fuck it's yeah She got at least one You are so you're still Ludwig, but you're at his house near his wife. No, no, no, he's outside of the bank window Yeah, I'm a cat calling of the bank window Uh, catcalling me I'm catcalling him. The bank's coming to your house

Why would they call him my- Who are you yelling to? He's walking by my house. You look like a fine young man. I just got back from my tour This guy's like- Hey, who are you? I'm a sailor. I said I'm a sailor I just got back off the carrier Quit hitting on me, fucker! You're discussing pig! Nice tits

Hey, who's fucking arguing? It is in my house, I got him. This guy's here. Okay, what do you want? Do you have your mortgage this month? We heard, we watched the podcast, the bank call, we all love the show. Okay. Cuz you're still slim, I guess. And I'm buxom.

And you have big natural breasts. Some may say they don't look natural, but they are. Six months at sea, Ludwig. Six months at sea? Is this your sailor friend? I don't look natural, but they are. Six months at sea, Ludwig, six months at sea. Is this your sailor friend? I don't know this guy. I don't know this guy. I do know this guy. Because I see him a lot.

I'd like to get to know this guy. And Cutie and Maya would be on that side stage off to the side and be like, and now like... Cutie and Tina. No, or... Yeah, there's Tina. No, it was was my whole time. It's a different Asian woman that you mixed up. My is Asian.

Amazing recovery. Yeah. And continue the landing. You actually won. Oh, my God. Whoa. Dude, I'm shaking right now. I have to start off by letting you know you're not Italian. We're at least not majority Italian? Oh, yes, how much Italian you are? Oh my god 30%? No 30 point your body do she clock your dumbass

I'm so and you are mostly and I and I mean 67% my god, yes we guess? Can we guess? One area We can guess, right? You can guess if you name any of the countries in this area I'll permit it Egypt, Egypt, I'm black That is wrong You're not black

Eastern Europe, Eastern Europe, Serbia I also think Eastern Europe Serbian It is not, he is, he is, that's, you know what? I think that might be in the area or close to at least. Greek? Am I Greek? He's Greek! Wait, really?

You're Greek. Bro, you're six- Christofanesti! Christofanesti! You're Malacca's! Back on now. You are 1% North African. My brother!

This is a dangerous bet. Josh! Josh! My brother This is a dangerous day Josh Josh Josh listen I Just did 23 me we're on the yard right now. I'm not kidding. I'm not fucking with you brother, and I mean that 30% Italian like 65% Greece. No. Yes, dude. Christos Anesti. I can say it now. I can say it, you malaka.

I think it doesn't retroactively make what you said chill. It does. I think it does. I think it actually was always made inside of him. He's got the science and the data. I'm it does. I think it actually is. I think it was always in A-Way inside of him. He's got the science and the data. I'm so happy. Like, I can meet your yay-yah now. Like, this is so...

Aw, no, you're alright. Alright, I'll see you at Easter. Okay, bye. Okay. No. We should... Alright, now call your black friends. So who's actually, like, who's the best?

Or is that like a touching... At that time period, it was me and then Aiden and then the other two. It's hard to say. Probably Nick, maybe first. Last time we checked as a plaque has my name on it. My picture. So you're like, we threw a company tournament. Aiden is the best right now.

No, I think Pearl's on the wrong path. No, she's fine. She's a cheerleader. She's trash. She's too into that K-pop. You just hate her because she's thick. No, I don't path No, she's fine. Yeah, dude. She's a cheerleader. She's tried. She said she's too into that kpop She's greater cuz she's thick no I'll cater cuz she's Do not type any rules after that She's thick bro pearl is the opposite of thick. She's at least 34 pounds bring up pearl 34 The commenters got me. You're talking about a man's daughter. Don't bring up pearl 34. I didn't call her thick

Well, I did she's sick She's a high school student Okay Drake She's thick. Get out of that wheelchair Drake. No, she's great. She's on a great path. She's not thick She looks like she has horses on her binder Unfortunately, if you look at what he's doing right now. Yeah God, I wish you saw him before he shaved First time alive you should ask him to do what he's doing with his glasses on

Y'all did this in the last episode and I didn't watch the video right? Okay, I'm worried. It would be jarring if I see it without it is jarring no imagine just like I don't know dopest dude you very fucking met imagine the most handsome charming imagine someone halfway through a kick flip yeah right when you but his eyes look like they were drawn on with one dot of a pencil and they're sparkling you're like blind blind is that why your eyes like have you okay this is a Star Wars reference. You guys watch Mandalorian? Oh no. Could you look up the orange alien from the Mandalorian, uh, no glasses? Come on! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA famous people at a Super Bowl party, the picture of Sheik, arguably the worst picture of any human being ever taken. It's not, see, you phrasing it like this makes people look it up.

Dude, he had 7,000 likes on this. He talks about it like Blue Waffle. Like, like, you gotta see the ugliest picture of this guy that's ever been taken. I'm not kidding. It doesn't look good! A picture, you're acting like a picture of his fucking extended forehead is like a shock site. No. You do it's it's- You do talk about it like that. Oh, to fucking- it's- you actually see two old guys fucking in shake drizzle ordering a burger.

No, but it's called Lemon Party, just check it out. Dude, no, listen, you're a fucking- you're a federal operative. Yeah. What you're saying is, sorry, yeah, I- I full-towered a kid on the- What? What? What? This is what you're saying? Shut up! Sorry, yeah, I-I-Full-Towered a kid on the island. What the hell? This is what you're supposed to say?

Shut up! This cat just doesn't shut her damn head off. Talking about, yeah, what, fucking dick? She's way more eloquent. You would think so. She goes, any, any males? Any males? Any fine suitors?

Fellows? Fellows! And what I realized- You're a razor to keep your classy. Yeah. Wow. Ludwig I realized- You raised her to keep her classy. Yeah. Wow. Ludwig's alone with Coots.

Darius is gone, Swift is gone, Cutie's gone. They're not gone. They're in the house. It's not like they've disappeared. He's in his fucking man cave. They're not on a road trip. And he's with Coots and Coots just screaming and I realize he's trying to fuck that cat. He's trying to fuck that damn cat.

Fuck his head off. He's trying to fuck the cat's head off. This might seem like a leap to many of you. It is. And I'll explain from my perspective. I get a call from slime. Never get a call from slime. I'm worried. I answer right away. I'm playing Balotra at my desk.

And so when I answer, you say, can I have all your money? And I said, I said no. And then I said, how much you want? He said, ah, wait. And then and then you hear Kutz and I show you and you see me, he was so damn long. And I explained to you that I said, yeah, it's actually weird. The doctor said it was weird and said normally cats don't last this long.

And he usually he lasts longer if there is like a male suitor. So I explained this to slime very like I'm explaining to you. If you were at home and then and then we hang up and then four minutes pass. Yeah. And I get a call from Aiden. It was Aiden. From Aiden. I got a FaceTime call from Aiden. I gave you a ring. Because he hit my line.

And I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, this is weird. Aiden never calls. What is it? Oh, my God. It's midnight. Heavens. I'm mid CS game and I want to check in. And he gives me a call and he goes, hey, man, what are you up to? And I'm like, you know, I'm just chilling here. And I start getting inkling. He goes, oh, yeah, you're just showing just hanging out.

Yeah. Just you by yourself hanging out. Anyone there? Anyone with you? And I start to get the feeling that he thinks that I might be fucking my cat. So I get a call from Aiden. We got to go through the whole rigmarole.

I'm like, I'm not fucking my cat. OK, I'm like, I'm throwing Anubis heaven smokes. So anyway, Aiden hangs up and then I and then I got a call from Nick. And now I'm not fucking my cat, okay? I'm throwing Anubis heaven smokes. So anyway, Aidan hangs up and then I get a call from Nick. And now I'm mad. Well, I get a text from Anthony and he's like, you gotta call Ludwig. Right when I answer this, he goes, I'm not trying to fuck the cat.

I can feel by the screws turning in my brain right now that this might be a bad- That's pretty high. It's a big one. It's a big one. It's a big one. Pull out. I can feel by the screws turning in my brain right now that this might be a bad Ask me any question about you, okay, what's my blood type? You can you get it easy you can beat this. You can beat this. Just based on her personality you can get this. Oh, negative. A.

Yeah, I thought it was A. It's the opposite. Raw A is so boring. Oh my god. Okay, what's my- I went to the blood store and I didn't look at all. Didn't you pick the worst? I got the pad tie, I guess.

I don't know. Yeah, I got pad, see you beef. I don't want to explore it. Yeah, that would be interesting. Yeah, I'll have a tag team. Of course, I'll have that. No, no boba. It hurts my stomach. I don't want to explore it. Yeah, I'll have a Thai tea. Of course, I'll have that. No, no boba. It hurts my stomach.

He's actually turned your blood type on you. This is incredible. He twisted it so well. I feel bad. I'm so sorry for asking you that question. That was on me. I'm the bad person here. History Month is a learning month as well. I gotta ask you three questions.

We ask every guest these questions. You weren't even going to participate initially. Tell them why you participated. Cause I had one request. You know I'm not a request person. It's always like have a beer for me. I'm a very simple man. You are the biggest request person in the US.

Are you fucking kidding me? They're always very subtle though. Subtle? I sat on this chair on the light rail and it was pee. And I sat in pee for like 10 minutes and I didn't realize this until I felt wet on my seat and then I looked and then I smelled and I realized I'd been sitting in pee for most of the train ride. Did I mishear you? You were sitting in your pee? No, it wasn't my pee, it was somebody else's pee!

You were sitting in s- does that make you guys related now? No, I don't think so. Can you get an HIV from piss? No. Or not an HIV, can you get an STD? An HIV? Alright, fear mongerer. I said it like an inventory item, I meant STD. Can you get an STD from piss?

Nah, not from piss. Not some good old piss. Piss is sterile. That's why you can drink it. Piss is squirt. We all learned that at some point. It's been very simple for us to get pregnant. Basically, we have three kids and there were... You got a lot of vitality. You got strong cum. What is this? Motherfucker, you son of a god damn bitch! kids and there were you got a lot of vitality

It's not that simple that's not that simple and create it in there. Yeah, basically the wife is excellent breeding stock French better than you lucky no, I'm't think so. Go ahead. Oh my god, she mocked you. No, no, no, no, no. I like mom-a-mom. I'm not even fucking around. Her accent's beat. I'm not even fucking around. Oh my god. What's up with this? How about this?

Her accent is beat. She's a bitch. Pause, pause, pause. We both say the same sentence in French, and then we let you guys decide, and we let the viewers decide in the comments. Can we pick what the English translation is? Sure.

Maybe one of you want to know the word. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. That's smart. Alright. We're gonna say... We're gonna say... In French, I'm Pokemon and I endorse the song. In French! That's good!

We're gonna say... Lot also says I'm Pokemon. I'm Pokemon. Honey, I bought a bunch of poop from the grocery store. Okay. Ludwig first. Me first? Yeah.

How about you go first? Why don't you go first? I just think it'd be better if you go first. Well, he said you should go first, and now you're elected. The judges want you to go first, so go first now. Okay, just in some French accent, like a normal French accent, right? The good one, you consider good, because hers is bad. This is the big game.

Okay. Um... Chal-e-sha-m-b-j-a-b-a-sh-a-d-a-ka-ka-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- it normal! Just do it like- That was- Oh! Oh! You guys would know! We would know! He's lashing out. I'm like, can we open up? You would never- I'm a man! I'm a man! You would never ever say that to your mom on the phone.

I would- I would call my mom. I'd be like, my mom, Chérie, est-ce que tu veux quelque chose au magasin? For starters, that's not even the sentence. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo suis allé au magasin et j'ai acheté du caca Bro, it's like I'm listening to- I didn't shave my pants y'all It's dead ass like I'm listening to Muzzy You know how we talked about Goatse on the last episode? Yeah we did do that This little big, big old Goatse section

Yeah we had a section about it yeah Goatse section? He's a Norwegian fox That's what my mom had Yeah, we had a section about it. Yeah, go to c-section. He's a Norwegian Zipper 3 Zipper 3 What like had never heard of it before color and has never seen it color which is not surprising Didn't encourage this by the way. She's listening to the episode. She's like. I think I need to see it Yeah, it was I was like, I don't think you do. Wait, you showed Zipper 3 your goat seat? No, no, I said don't.

You said, let me show you. She's like, I got this. And she's like, no, I think I do. And then some time passes. She doesn't she doesn't text me at all. And then later in the day, I get a text. And at this point, I've forgotten that she had initially mentioned it at all and she sends me a message with like a picture in invisible ink, you know and as a

That's a scary surprise As an interested boyfriend I'm like ahhh Cuz sometimes you know what that means And then I'm like oh cool I like just finished a Valerie game You get to like a the little meat out. I open my real invisible ink message.

Dude, it's goat seeds. The guy's running his asshole. Dude, she rules. And then your little tiny ass little meats already out. What I found out, because Josh can get, he's very quick and he's very annoying. And he can he can do this thing where he knows exactly how to press your buttons in a playful way. And I found out how to counterattack every time it like crumples him. What you do is he is terrified of public embarrassment.

Absolutely terrified. Oh, yeah. So if we're on a plane, which is an enclosed public space and you just do a slightly loud noise that draws attention to the both of you, he freaks out. He's like, dude, stop, stop. You have to stop, please stop. So I have to do this thing because I was playing, I was playing my Switch and I'm playing Donkey Kong and he starts fucking like touching it and he's like, oh, you playing Donkey Kong? Oh, and I just turned to him and I didn't know this was weakness and I'm like, DONKEY!

And he just goes white. You run a plane together when you do this? I'm right now. I found out you guys because you made a video called ranking the funniest tweets of all time. Yes. And you featured me in it. Yes. And a lot of people sent me your video and they're like you featured me in it. Yes. Oh, funny Twitter.

A lot of people sent me your video, and they're like, you were in this. And then I was like, oh my god, funniest tweets of all time. How endearing. I got to watch this video. And you guys read my tweet, and you're like, yeah, it's like C. I don't know. And then move on.

I love how big and scrumptious you are. Your stomach's popping out of your shirt. Oh, yeah, sorry. Oh, wow. That's what I do. Wow. You are Your stomachs popping out of your shirt Wow This Papa want to sip this is what I do What do you got right there? What's hard working American? I got my own. And put your fucking phone away. Put your fucking phone away Aiden Put the phone down. Put the fucking phone down Put the fucking phone away. You're disrespecting my time. You're disrespecting my time. What is it?

We can go band for band Listen what if you and me took a paramotoring trip Don't go on the trip bro You go paramotor over the damn pyramids where the pharaohs used to live I can't tell if he's doing voice over that's what you sound like now I'm the voice actor now, now listen to this are you trying to get me killed?

what the fuck, how did you see that? Yeah, he is. Parizel was a big fan. Yeah. Didn't that guy, didn't that YouTuber die? Yes! No, he died. Seriously, he died.

No, he very died. Dude, the guy that put a big cartoon fan on his back and ran and flew in the air died? There's one who died and there's one who lived but broke his spine. Most of them live. Listen. Next one. If we opened a brothel for little people, that would make money.

That's slime. Yeah, that's slime. Yeah, you seem like a business guy. A smart one at that. Small business. Small business. Small business. I wanted to be clear, Esme, yes.

That it's Little People like, you know, like Tyrion Lannister. Yeah, not children. What did you think we thought? Tyrion Dinklage, you're right. To be, you know, a place for him to come. They don't call, school little people school. That's a different- Maybe they shouldn't.

No, they call it- Nevermind, I'm just gonna stop right there. I had the quick time of it, it's so clean. Yeah. Maybe they should've. The Oron. Yeah, and this was us talking about a business venture. I think it's pretty clear what you're talking about.

You're talking about a brothel for little people. But can big guys go? For and by, if you will. For by people too, cool. Hell and by if you will for by people to Child pageant that was not it was for adults True he's a terrible guy. That's like an everyone thing Everyone not us You've never you've never hatched a plan to have a child pageant for adults.

What do you mean for adults? And Riley's an excellent question. But the name confuses some. You think the name's confusing. Let's just move on. I was so clear that the child magic was adult. What can I say? It's the crass episode. It's the crass episode. It's for butts full of fucking what?

Everyone go around, say one crass word we haven't said in the podcast today. Okay, sorry about Aidan. Whoa, dude! Jesus Christ! I feel like I just got electrocuted in Street Fighter. Okay, sorry about Aiden. Whoa, dude! Jesus, man! I feel like I just got electrocuted in Street Fighter. I feel like... I feel like I touched Blanca. Is that even crass?

Is- that's a good question! I don't know! I don't know if crass is... There is this perception that I'm like a ruthless monster. I make fun of Aiden because when he said the social network was his favorite movie, that was an egregious thing to say, right? So it's like, that's different. Shaq is already plugged in to a movie. Yeah that was an egregious thing to say right so it's like that's different Shake is already plugged in

It is insane to say it I agree Well we were talking about Connor dog and the pokey main and the What's it called the auction yesterday like while that conversation was happening? I got a DM from Zeke and the DM said if I I see you two, I'm gonna get twitchy with something Pokey main. And then he said off top. I don't know how he knew we were having a conversation. Dude, that's great. He really came in clutch.

He actually didn't come in clutch because I... I told him I replied he should have said if I see dog. If I see dog. Oh, that's so good. I'm gonna tweet it. I. Oh, it's so good Anyway, so let's pull up the first tweet you can zoom in a little bit. So this is Ludwig tweeting out in 2017 I'm not gay, but Linus and Luke Let me read this yeah, I'm not gay but Linus and Luke from Linus tech tips can double team me on the roof of a barn tbh. You said that?

I did not tweet this. I did not tweet this. I mean, it's a clay court, man. Yeah. Well, what do you think about that? I think that I'm flattered. Do you feel like the location? The fact that you guys are high-fiving is fine. Well, you're not going to get pregnant. That you feel like the location? Fine well, you're not gonna get pregnant

That's one of the benefits Don't make me bring her in here Yeah, and the thing is you know what really made me think about it because the day before is 9-eleven And what does that have to do with any of that I was just thinking about you all the way he's getting twin-towered That's what we call Linus Double team call again twin it used to be called that but like in the spider-man movie they had to take the scene out We have to bleep it now

So you lost it here We didn't go to a young enough kid. So you wanted younger kids? I needed younger kids to beat... The Ludwig Young Kid basketball kid. I like young boys, I'm in. Elon, Gis-Lane, who, she got leave from prison to be here. She didn't want to leave that damn circle, she wanted that million. She does have the ankle monitor.

Gis-Lane, that's how it started. Yeah. That's how she got her bread in the ankle monitor. Just like that's how it started. That's how she got her bread in the first place. The beauty of playing every side on every issue, like he did so beautifully on Mogul Mail, is that all types of people come to your funeral. It's actually good. I just kind of worried. Like they're in the other room right now. I think it'll be a bloodbath. Like there's a lot of people here that don't see eye to eye. And that's that's why he's immortal techniques here. I know I don't even know they know each other, which is crazy.

Some Minecraft server. Yeah, they it was the dance with the devil SMP. And, you know, Ludwig, that was just content. Charlemagne, Charlemagne kept telling me that he doesn't like Harry Styles's outfit. I thought that's that to yourself. We got DJ Akademics in here. It's the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny out there. It's just Chuck Norris is fighting Gandalf.

This one just had so many fed sitting takes on local mail. I hope that that's O'Tay. I hope that that's O'Tay, Dubwit. I hope it's O'T job wait. I hope it's okay that I'm not fucking dead And I'm not fucking dead. Oh, hey, well, dude He doesn't set up time ahead of time day of, he's like we need to talk right now If we don't talk right now It's literally going to be a problem He does this a lot

He's like this is literally my job Welcome to the game show, hash out or crash out Will they get through this one? It's a rant about things that are bad for a podcast Let's go, Aiden starting with you Hash out or crash out, $500 Aiden go ahead and start off the argument. You got to make it funny. Nick, Nick, I think I'll hash it out. Okay. Let's get into it.

We want to steal a crash out. We want to steal a crash out. Okay. So the kid context, the kid I was hanging out with last night, my, my girlfriend is a nanny and she's taking care of him and I'm just hanging out with them. We're walking around like, I think we're in like Culver City or something and we're with an Asian child. We're with an Asian two year old. We're both white. And we go out to dinner. You two are the reason neighborhoods like this. There's this couple that like walks up to us and they ask us to take a picture of them because it's their third year anniversary. And I'm like, of course, I'll take the photos and then snap a few. And then the guy, I see something change in the guy's eyes.

And he's like, are you Aiden? And I'm like, yeah. He's like, dude, I listen to their podcast and like says this. Why do you have an Asian baby? and then he's looking at us and then I'm looking at him and I'm like fighting the urge to explain to him that I'm like this is not my Asian baby. You go all right nice to meet you all right let's go zipper. Sometimes Linus I have a really we have a really funny episode and I'm like wow We were so funny all day and then I go and it's an eight out of ten The stinky eight and I'm like, what does that mean? We're a comedy podcast

What does it mean that the funny ones don't get views? At least the funniest one is the eight and it means you're shit No no it can't be that It can't be that No no no no So I'm pissed at Aiden for context because everything needs context all the time for context No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You gonna give us both sides, Bungle Mill? I'm talking! You fucking John Adams? Come on. Fine, fine, fine. Just go ahead, go ahead.

Don't let me talk, I'm gonna sit in the- Fingers are out. You can talk. Fuck, dude. You know how many fingers Disney has in how many pies? So that was chill. Thank god it's a pie. I said punked and you said how many fingers

in and that's I know they got fingers and pies in mouths let's reset we were getting too crass no There's nothing crass about it! We started with 10 minutes about poop! Dude, I'm just- There's nothing- I can't stop thinking about Mickey putting two fingers into Minnie's mouth. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Oh yeah, you like that? Do you- Do you- Oh! Oh! Do you think he takes the glove off? That's- That's-

That's- That's- Is there capital punishment in the North Pole? What's that? The death penalty. The death penalty. The death penalty. We don't even have police, man. We don't even have police, man. We don't even have police, man. We don't even have police, man. We don't even have police, man. We don't even have police man

Are you a base? Shit, we defunded that shit It's on We'll finish that thought, we'll talk about that later And then Nick just said no, we'll talk about it now You're okay, so my ick for you is your coffee order Excuse me? It's just an ick, the fact that you always fucking die hard this mid-Starbucks order

This is a white chocolate macadamia Name someone you met maybe that's a big-ass crater. Yeah, they thought was cool or some shit. You got it. I got one Sure. Yeah, I met Toby who is a math youtuber from Australia slash New Zealand Hey woman, huh? what what are you saying? Is she beautiful? She likes me? So like I was saying I knew this guy in jail. I have General Warts. I know I've been there. Okay you did it. We edge my seat we're all watching we're all happy for you Okay

You're in a group and someone's like me and I really want to kill myself and it's like we all love you You're like, I don't love you Like I like you I like you for sure That means a lot to me, so I'm not that hungry. Why don't you take the cookies? You'd be fun. I take the cookie Unfortunately my rasta clots, I'll be eating these Hey, we're gonna have to get these cookies from him. You kidding me come and fucking take it. I'm taking I'm taking it I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. I'm taking it. No! No! We destroy everything you love!

Everything will be destroyed! Everything gets destroyed! And it crumbles to dust! That's what you wanted! You wanted it to crumble to dust! That's what you asked for! Because you needed it! And everything, and all of your empire goes to ruin.

I played both sides so I always come out on top. Look at that! Look at that! Oh, you're disgusting. Show them! Show them what you did! What's left in there? What's left in there? Yes! Show what your hubris has brought!

Hash Out or Crash crash out welcome back What did I do? Crash out and today we have two lovely guests Ludwig from New Hampshire. Hi Wow I love you as a guest and today we're gonna get into the first run. I was gonna get into the first round You try you try to determining if it's crash out really early right now, maybe we just wait his hand Ludwig They're running into the first round. I don't get an intro. Shut the fuck up, man. He's hosting. You're trying to determine if it's Crash Out really early right now. Maybe we just wait. But you shook his hand.

Ludwig, what is your opening statement? Hey, how's it going, Nick? Appreciate you having me again on Hashed Crash Out. So opening statement. You're on the show a lot. You don't even get to talk. Why does he do this? I don't know.

You keep interrupting him. You keep interrupting him? So hey, we all saw that viral moment last week. Super viral. Where Slime was supposed to go on a fishing trip, and uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's on his way to Disney.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. And if you don't know anything about this guy, he hates plan group activities, he hates areas where people greet and meet, and he has refused to go to Disney with QT prior to this. I think she's asked him. I've heard this. He hates the happiness of a child. Yes. The whimsy, and something that labels itself the happiest place on earth would be a hellhole for him.

And so, uh oh, you know, bamboozled he ends up there. Now, I thought that was funny. America loved it. I thought that's where the story went. America loved it. Is that not, can we debate that? It was one of my favorite moments. However, spoiler alert, our next podcast guest is going to be Rainbolt. Okay, and he's in town very briefly because he has to go to Yakutsk, Russia.

Oh my god, dude. He's going to Yakutsk, Russia. And so we're figuring out times and slimes like Thursday and busy all day Very rare for him to be busy all day. Yeah We got a nap at noon So preoccupied that's a great question a to one use preoccupied with all day is that he's going to Universal Studios With his favorite streamer, Brawl Pro. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! How the turntable slams. Now he loves playing group activities with his favorite streamer. Oh, his favorite streamer? So when you're with your fucking best friends.

Yeah, when you do some fucking best friends. And you never get it done, man! Stop being headbutted. Stop being headbutted. You're the host of the show. I don't know who you are. You got introduced. Crowd.

Hi, what's up? I love being on Hashrider Crashout. Nick, the host. I am from... We don't like you on the show. Hold on. Ludwig has no hair on your face? Timing.

Why don't you pop those little shorts off? We send the Rizzler. The Rizzler is on. He's being groomed right now, and I use that term politically. Wow. You know what's messed up? That word got called. We need to take a look. You watched The Wire when Daniels was being groomed for commissioner?

No, we should fight to keep this. No, he's being groomed. Daniels is getting groomed. The Rizler is being groomed to become an American ambassador to other countries Okay, we send the Rizvah to Ukraine and my girlfriend To the Donbass region and we and he stands there and he says no more Putin here in the Donbass region We only get one meal a day Well, this next one's interesting. Oh wow. This is, wow. This is when Sina would go on. Oh no. This is when Sina would go on virtual walks

with the people in our Discord server, where they would roleplay what they are doing on their walk. This is like old-ass internet shit where you italicize it. Mango does this still. This is this is tackles you to the ground, tickles you. Yeah, tickles you. I've never seen this Ellen way so walking do you like candy?

Candy I fucking hate candy okay I like some candy okay, what kind of candy you like? favorite candy So sour candy Reese Oh, Reese's. So good. Maybe like. Sour candy. Sour candy.

I was gonna say sour candy. No, I'm not kidding. I don't like like the like really hard, really sweet candies. I either like chocolate or like kinda sour. Hmm, kinda sour. Oh, it's like the sour. Okay, we're looking for seed money

for a project called the Sour Olympics. So it comes with three candies, bronze, silver, gold, bronze, silver, gold. And they are increasingly more sour candies. Oh, no. Are you able to do it? It's the Sour Olympics Challenge. And they only release every four years and they go to a different country every time they release.

Yeah. Yeah Yeah, one of the packages is an Arabic and so If you do the Swedish one, it'll be made by Aiden's white commune You guys are gonna pack that RV full of prostitutes Is that what you're doing? Dude, you're going to Japan for sex tourism? No, I think differently of you now. That's why you got that guy who teaches you Japanese.

He didn't just teach you Japanese, huh? He taught you methods. How are you so much? That's so fun. That's bad. The only difference is, I think you're a little soft because you're not going to a war zone to do it. Yeah, you're going to a secure country.

Yeah, you should go. You need some more. Well, hold on, tutorial island. You gotta let him get through, learn a few tips and tricks. Sex tourism tutorial island. Jesus God. I'm disappointed in you. I'm not.

American Twitch streamer in Japan, drunk drives a thousand prostitutes off a bridge You're just you're just up and leaving Just fed up Bar you care about I like you job and Talking about you're also leaving and you leave way more leaving and you're going more and you're going to your fucking white sanctuary scapevias. White people everywhere. You fucking probably. It's disgusting bro. I just want to go to white heaven. I just think it's nice here.

I don't know why. And I just think they shouldn't have so much immigration. It's like cleaner I think. It feels like just better. I don't know. Well I was talking to my Swedish friends and they just said that immigration's kind of like a problem. And I like the way they all look also. And they eat like poop in the insides of a fish for fun.

They eat like the poop from poop. God, I love their cooking, the way people cooking so good. So you would listen to a podcast of Nick and Aiden. That's the advice show. Oh, you would listen to Nick first over me and Slime. She actually specifically said she loves the advice show. I liked the advice show, especially when you would listen to this first over me and Slime. She actually specifically said she loves the advice show. I liked the advice show, especially when you guys were on it.

Now, when you were on it. Oh, wow. Slime advice, it'd be better if you weren't alive. Yeah, Slime is like, oh, yeah, it'd be better if you just killed yourself. I never said that. Saikunou getting fucked by Ludwig should not make you cry. You cry over so much. I just, Tomahawk Crab should work.

That's okay man. But we just live together, it's the only reason. Yeah, I- look, I- I always love you and I always care about you and this is something that I know can eventually be edited so I'm not freaking out. And you don't care about me. Okay, time out. That was so far. Creamer. Yeah. You're the biggest creamer I've ever met. I don't. So I keep saying I'm a big creamer. I eat ice cream fucking eight times a week. You are a big creamer. I go once maybe twice a week. Dude, it's the end of any social activity is like cream time. And you've been creamy. That's the thing too.

Like you've creamed for years now. What's wrong with a little cream time? But now you're saying what's wrong with a little cream time right before that you said I'm a creamer. I'm not even a creamer I'm like let's find the tree I cream so infrequently That's fucking not tree fucking effer You cream all the time

You're a fucking effer man Every time I've hung out with you it's cream Oh every time slime is hung out outside of the pod Oh here we go The hundreds Here we go it's always back to old stuff with you Freaking so many. That doesn't happen. So you're telling you standing here before me in the court

of our friends and Jesus Christ and heaven, heaven, God above. Yeah. You're saying I'm not a Kramer. I'm saying you're not a hanger outer. I'm not trying to fucking say that. I'm saying you cream all the time. Are you saying you don't? You want me to hang out when you're trying to cream? I cream maybe once a week. Oh, bullshit.

And you know, and I mean this and I mean this respectfully. She does your loads. She wouldn't ask. She she she uses the service. She doesn't do she's she's she's done. My she would do the she's done. She's done my loads. Wait, wait, she's never refused.

Hold on. Hold on. What? No, because it's not even It's not even a question. She just does the load without asking. That's right. Yeah, but you can still passively refuse a load. She's never thought to just refuse a load. Think about it.

When we ever and I have and the laundry room was like right in the center of like the you know, the house and we would we would before the laundry service came, she would do the loads in front of everybody yeah well I feel like it was out broad day it was out I would see her dude she would take your load and then she would go do it well it probably has a way of making a load feel unrefusable if I phrase it like that I I've never said don't refuse my load does he have like a pump going on like he Like he's in a rockabilly like band? No, I think his hair is kind of always like that.

No, I think it's pumped up. I slept on it, so it might be a little pumped up. Can you give me a Johnny Bravo impression? Like a, hey mama. Hey mama. What the hell is that? What the fuck was that? I've never seen a lot of Johnny Bravo.

It's just Elvis, just do Elvis. Mommy. Oh my bad. Mommy? I haven't seen a lot of Johnny Bravo. It's crazy. It's just Elvis. Just do Elvis. Mommy. I'm a bad dog. I don't know what he says. What does Elvis say? Elvis talks about Eeyore. I'm a hound dog. He sounds like Eeyore.

You ain't nothing but a hound. That's amelotic. That's crazy. This is the worst Johnny Bravo of all time. But you do Johnny Bravo, Connor. Thank you. Thank you very much. OK. That's terrible. It's better than him. That's Johnny Bravo time? You do Johnny Bravo, Connor. Thank you. Thank you very much. OK. That's terrible.

It's better than him. That's Johnny Carson. That might have been a different Johnny. That's right. I gotta agree with Johnny's music. The thing is, I don't look for times to get back at you, but you look for times to beat me. You feel like you're beating against me.

And now you're doing like, blowing steam out of your ears. I'm breathing. I'm trying to keep it all in. Why don't you let it out? Why don't you let it out? It's so hard. I wanna see what you're made of. He just doesn't have a fucking job. And he's so mean to me.

I'm so mean to me. That's crazy. The shit you say to me is so mean. I'll come in here and be like, What's up? Well, well, well, if it isn't Nick Anley. You're having a fucking job! No, no, no, no, no, well, if it isn't Nick Inley, you're gonna have a fucking job. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not right away. It's not right away, it's not right away.

It's not right away. You're gonna walk me through it, how's it go? I come in and he goes, well, well, well, it's Nick Inley. I goes, oh, hi, Slime, how's your day going? And then he goes, some snarky remark about how I do nothing for the company. That's my job, you don't have a job. You look like you're about to grow horns.

Yeah. Your girlfriend sent me a picture. She said you got Botox. Did you feel the difference? That's funny. Did you just lie? Did you? Dude, I did.

What? Yeah. D? I thought it was funny. Isn't that weird? Wait, so you have Botox right now? I can't, like, look, I'm trying to move my forehead up. Why did you get Botox?

What the fuck is happening? It was free! And it's like, I'm trying to move move my forehead up Why did you get Botox? It was free And cutie cutie and Maya would be on that side stage off to the side and be like and now like you know No, yeah It's a different Asian woman that you mixed up my as Asian Amazing recovery. Yeah. It can continue.

Stuck to the landing. Well, lovey. This is profound. Oh, you think so? Do you consider yourself one of my best friends? Yeah. Why the weird answer? What? I answered the question?

You went too slow. Yeah. That's still an answer. The pause felt like a year. It felt like the longest moment of my life. I mean, Archie, can you put up exactly how long that pause was on screen? Put a speedrun timer up for how long it took him. It was the fastest anyone's answered that question today.

Ludwig's sincere answer, RTA. Can you ask him? Ludwig, will you consider yourself one of my best friends? Yes. He's pretty quick with that one, at least. Right. I don't actually think I need that. It was a setup for an own, the second question.

I don't think I need the second question. It was insane to ask him to do that. I just thought it'd be funny to pause. Turns out it was. Well, the thing about it is even if you really fuck up, there's always a Christmas next year. Well, it might not be, because the Grinch that one year.

Yeah. I ain't fucked a Grinch that one year. Yeah. Awesome. Hey, fuck the Grinch. And fuck Krampus. Yep. You mean that? Yeah. You guys are still beefing like that? Fuck Krampus.

And his green ass monkey? Dude, last night, last night, I mean it. Yeah. Watch that monkey, Grinch. Me and Alex were streaming last night, and I said some shit like, we're going to kill the Grinch. And Alex, like, very, very seriously and sternly, he's like, we wouldn't kill the Grinch and Alex like like very very seriously and sternly he's like we wouldn't kill the Grinch bro we'd kill Krampus yeah because you're dumb as bricks for not multi streaming that

cuz I'm anti multi streaming. You're not multi streaming you're fucking stupid and gay. I know you said that shit. I mean your nipple's twisted by a freaking nipple twisting It's called the sour Olympics I'm gonna do it all in one bite. Alex came to me, and I think it's a really good idea This shit is so sour, it's gonna be made a fucking video Sour Dix, Sour Bag of Dix I get it! Sour Esports is my new team Sour Moki Don't do it again, I know you want to do it again

Fucking Sour Apex team could get their visas They only got Sour visas, they could get their visas US immigration fucking keyboard salaries for themselves. The government is so fucking stupid. Nature only can do the voice by the way. I want some bag! I want some!

You sound like Goofy more than God damn Charlie. And you're just Aiden. I mean it's better than- wait flash it again. Come back. Come back over here young man. Show me what you were working on. Is that Zetterburn with a finger in his mouth?

Wait go to the bottom Zetterburn that looked HD as hell. Yeah click that one. Oh! Whose dick is that? Is this under rival of two? I think. Do you draw it? Okay well Forsurn is cut if anyone wanted to know. I was thinking about becoming the next E-Buy.

Wow. You guys think this is a good idea? Well, no, because you're Greek, so you're already off to a terrible start. Wow. That is so intolerant. Oh, okay. So because he's Greek, he can't have the job he wants. Are you saying, that's crazy.

Famously unemployed, the Greeks. Okay, so because he's Greek he can't have the job he wants. Are you saying, that's crazy! Famously unemployed, the Greeks. Are you saying that because of my heritage, I can't achieve my dreams? I think that's what I'm saying. For real on the Yard podcast. Guy who wants to move to Sweden. I don't think you should do something like that. It's not your birthright. No, you don't need the job because the government pays you money. The government pays you and that's not your birthright. No you don't need the job because the government pays you money. The government pays you and that's not your bloodline.

I haven't worked 20 days I just played Counter-Strike. What's the last crime that happened in the North Pole? That the community kinda had to deal with. Ah, let me think. Is it kinda like, is it the type of place like somebody steals a bike and everybody would be shocked to their core? Yeah, there was a hit and run though. Oh shit! You got cars in there? there was a hidden run though. Oh shit! You got cards in there?

It's one card, it's a sleigh. Wait, hold on. Press 1, by the way, in the chat, if you ever did mail bomb trick on your Wii. Cause that was my first one. You have no idea what, cuz that was my it. That was my first one I want to break through that was so cool before letter bomb But do better for letter bomb existed modding your Wii was such a fucking pain in the ass It's just it's not what you think Pull on let's set the scene you're on a New York subway. Mm- subway. You're wearing a shirt that has a tuxedo on it.

A print of a tuxedo, right? Yeah, a print of a tuxedo. And shorts that say, big, big nuts on the ass. Okay. Oh, hey, what's up dude? Hey, and I'm holding my phone to you. He just hasn't seen the show. Bro, what's your hottest take? Hey?

You look fucked up by the way. I'm take out your headphones. Could you take out your headphones? I don't want to talk to you take out your headphones. I don't have any money for you There's fucking train stops and the next stop is- Do you guys want me to move? Sir, I don't know this man. You're fine, you're fine. Hey, get off of my train! Sorry, I wanted to be a guy. I'm the conductor. I know him, he's Italian.

Hey, come on, get off of my train! I have a hot take about immigrants. Please don't touch me. I'm gonna fucking kill you when I see you. I got a lot to say about immigration. I'm following you, I'm following you to 47 47th Avenue and I'm gonna fucking cut your fucking... I killed my wife. Can you come over and help me?

Tell me your hot take or I'm gonna fucking kill you. Will you stop bothering me? Please sir, I'm trying to do my job. By the way, this is exactly how the show goes. I think I was a good kid. I think I was just rambunctious at times. I think you were bad. You pranked too much. Also, you did that one thing that we're not allowed to talk about. Oh.

I didn't do that one thing. You were a bad evil child, 100%. Threw it at Alex though. What? You were starting fucking fires. That was when I was 19. That was my grandpa's fault. That was way older. Way worse. Way older. What does that mean? It was his fault. Yeah, tell me. Santa, do you have an arson charge? No, no, we didn't get charged because he's so old, but Dude one time Like behind my house like on our land where these like four houses like they're old old old old and like we would use them for For like storage, but they're like all this like brush and grass had grown up

And it was like the middle of fucking winter so it was like dry and windy and he's like hey come with me we're gonna go we're gonna go burn all this and I'm like hell no we're not doing that it's like it's windy like that's gonna be a problem no he's like well I'm gonna go do it without you I'm like okay well I'll go with you so we start doing it and I have screenshots from my like old Twitter I have like a photo of me and my grandpa starting to burn it and being like burning shit with my grandpa like I think the text was like or the tweet was like um was like might sit might face four to six and stay pinned for this and then the next photo I tweeted with it is like a fucking house just like on fire basically what happened was we started the fire the wind had picked up and where the wood

was so old it was easily flammable and it just like went up in flames Did anyone live in that house a long time ago? Yeah, but like I said, no one had lived there for like yeah We just use it for storage But dude, it's four fucking houses and it was the craziest shit ever My grandpa's old ass is like trying to like run around and like move around he had to like he fell in the dirt I had to like pick him up with like the flames at my back It's crazy a fucking light pole almost like fucking Like fell over it was crazy My dog my fucking wiener dog jumped out of the truck and was like fucking scurrying around and shit

This is like one of those AI videos It's the craziest thing that's ever happened to me Sweating talking about it And all the houses burned down? Yeah, all of them did it get get close to your grandpa's house? No, because it was so far, it was a field between us, but my neighbor was a farmer, and their potato houses were right across

this tree line, like a ditch, and it almost burned all their shit up. Let me understand something. So you went up to these houses, you lit them on fire, and then you went, oh fuck, they're on fire! No, they're burning brush. Burning like dead grass, because it was like, it had grown up so much.

Oh, he was just trying to get rid of the grass? Yeah. The flammable grass, that's dry. I just, it's like an insane idea. No, that's what I said. It's a normal thing to do, but... What? No, sometimes you lit your acreage on fire, that's just what you do.

Dude, funniest part, the photo I have of me my grandpa doing it He's wearing like a shy steve and for whatever reason these like a fucking like air max 95 Is that like my cuz I gotta make I gotta make fucking dinner for my beautiful girlfriend I got a timeout timeout. I made dinner for cutie. I know how do you know about this you told us? dinner for cutie I know how do you know about this you told us yesterday on the podcast told us like right here we're not your fucking teeth out so good time it I'm gonna knock your fucking time out