The Yard - Ep. 149 - Ludwig Is Back!
Episode Date: May 22, 2024This week, the boys talk about the hungrybox pop off, the youngest esports player ever, and how we're making our own charity......
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when you run out of sertraline aka zoloft and you go take it your body goes through
literal drug withdrawals and it feels like your head is filled with wet
cement and you get brain zappies and i forgot to do my refill thing what are brain zappies
it's exactly what they sound like like when it takes in no it's like it's like you literally
feel is it like hot electric electric little zappies in your brain meat. Is it kind of good?
It's like that little animation in Jimmy Neutron when he has an idea.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like that.
Okay, okay.
But it's without the idea.
Jimmy Neutron.
Oh, my God.
You're nothing.
Dude, like that episode where he's got the monkey clapping inside.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's like the monkey.
The symbols are electric, like the Mega Man Xbox.
And the Shaka's brain.
Yeah, it's like Spark Mandrill.
And it's zipper- mandrill and it's
zipper like zipper likes megaman and uh it sucks uh so i'm like i told you guys in the chat i'm
like my body is going through withdrawals right now i hope that that's i hope that that's okay
i hope that that's okay i hope it's okay that I'm not fucking dead and I'm not fucking dead
Oh, hey, well dude. Oh my
Now you're surprised
What is that do is evil?
You would sound like if you saw if he came back I just thought
that he is right now
if you saw
a reanimated corpse
that's the sound
you would make
yeah like that
Jesus took three
I took four
and that's the noise
you make for me
it's annoying
you know what
Jesus is allowed
to say that
and so is Dudwit
is that when you
come back from the dead
we had a beautiful
service for you
I know
have you risen?
what the fuck?
Wait, can I see your sides
and see if there's like a hole,
you know, where they stabbed him
and the water came out?
What?
When the water comes out.
Is it like,
was it an anime I haven't seen?
What is this?
This is,
I just went to Catechism
when I was a kid.
The melee event?
No, no, no.
What is Catechism?
No, no, no.
It's actually Project M.
Ludwig died in the way
that Senator Kelly died in the first x-men
he got turned into juice because they put they put mutant dna in him to make him into a mutant
to be like now you know what it's like to have powers but it's bad powers and he just turns into
juice i would love to be a mutant well you are because you're a reanimated corpse walking among
us now i am back and i have a gripe with all three of you.
That's surprising because I think we demonstrated our empathy and sadness
when you died last week.
We were so bummed.
Person I'm mad at number one, Slime.
Not shocking.
Because he's messaged me multiple times and all he says is,
bun done runs you.
And then I don't reply and then he
follows up with bun done runs you yeah reply now say I don't know yes daddy
the automated text service only has one programmed output please text stop
signature for my texts just reply like dot dot dot from Ludwig hags
you should
you should have a text signature
that's like a
like a forum signature
like a
like a full on
anime gif
like a girl
and it's just like
it's like a little banner
why is it
sent from
Boeing 787
yo
that's lit
if I kill
I am not suicidal
if I die That's lit. If I kill my I am not suicidal
If I die it was
Mad at you okay, cuz you've been doing this weird thing lately. Oh, oh weird thing I don't know if he's done it to you. He's been sending voice messages
I sent him a voice message. Okay, two
two voice messages. Dubs, check them.
Within an hour.
Three, maybe three actually.
It's like getting your credit checked.
It only counts as one.
He sent me multiple voice messages.
Okay, so I...
And it's like, nope, I'm going to say what happened.
He sends me voice message and it's like, he wanted something.
Of course.
He wanted something from you.
He wanted...
What's fucking new, man?
What's fucking new? He wanted something. How about you call him up and say something nice to, he wanted. What's fucking new, man? What's fucking new?
He wants something.
How about you call him up and say something nice to him like me?
And then he follows up because I didn't reply.
I did.
And he goes, and he goes, and he goes, ha ha, yeah, whatever.
I didn't even want that thing.
Ha ha.
And then I said, stupid.
I started hitting myself loud enough for the mic to hear over and over again.
That's funny.
That's a good bit.
And then he says.
Are you mad about this?
No. This is great. This is fire so far. And then he says... You mad about this?
This is fire so far.
Do you have it? I want those.
Did you have it? Did you get to click keep?
Yeah, you have to click keep or it goes away.
Unless you have it automatically set to keep all.
Do you not send audio messaging of
nutting with the sound on?
No, I don't. I don't do that.
What, to your loving wife?
To your loving wife? Fist out of the blue also said why do you love me out of the blue?
I did not send you that out of the first to be clear
It's a very very hot Lola bunny with moose that could be your texting. He asked me to bake it anyway
He's just lying anyway, then he sends me a voice message of him singing
Okay, this is fire. Yeah, this is all good between friends it's like sure day
yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna start sending you audio I want to play oh yeah all I
asked I have a pimple all I asked with him excuse that he no it's not. Looks big. Dude, sniper get down! A man!
A shit man!
Um. What?
He said that his cousin made a film
and I was like, I wanna watch it, can you send it to me?
Yeah. Then he ignored the text.
So I said stupid, sorry for asking.
Stupid, stupid. I see, yeah, yeah.
And then he sent it. And then I watched it.
Was it a good film? I sang to him.
What is this, uh, this film about the poop?
Not far off.
Glowing on me.
Kind of far off.
Not that far.
The accent's there.
Are you kidding me?
It's like a really smoldering, really try-hard short film.
It's like, like, like, graded all dark.
And he's like, I just don't like this poop.
Something is wrong with my poop.
I must find the answer.
Dude.
So I was at the shoot all week,
and I had a trailer,
and the trailer toilets
are, like, not the best toilets,
and I took a dump in one.
You clogged that shit up.
Bro, it wouldn't go cuz
they it's got basically an airplane toilet we had to like a lever for it to
go down yeah air yeah and it wouldn't go down we do dumbin it's like it's like he
takes a shit and then it goes to the outside of the trailer and you just see
it go like on one side like the weight of it in my body wouldn't tilt it, but then when it leaves my body.
Yeah.
Wait, so hold on.
So you took this poop and you got like what, like a PA to stuff it down?
What'd you do?
No, I used one of them brushes and I.
Oh, you toilet brushed it?
Yeah.
Dude, we've all been there, but that brush is never going back.
I didn't, I didn't bend there because in Italy I clogged that toilet.
Oh yeah, I did break it up with a pen. Ew. That's so much closer and more intimate. I didn't bend there because in Italy, I clogged that toilet. Oh yeah, I had to break it up with a pen.
Ew.
That's so much closer
and more intimate.
I forgot about that.
It's weird you made
a gross face
to me using the brush.
It was big.
Italian food?
I think the bowl
is just smaller, man.
No, no,
it turned me
to a savage, dude.
I do agree with you
that Italian food
is made for like
one big dump
every three days.
Yeah.
Do you think
they'd have bigger toilets?
Is that why I'm like this?
Yeah, you're Italian.
No, no, you just have Italian eating habits,
so it makes a king cobra every time.
I think if you went,
honest to God,
I would love if you tried this.
I don't think you would
because I don't think you could,
but if you were to go,
what was that?
I just don't think you could do it.
He doesn't think you could do it, man.
If you were to go vegan for like a month.
I did exactly that. You never got vegan. Yes, I did for a month. I did. I do it. It's very hard. If you were to go vegan for like a month. I did exactly that.
You never got vegan. Yes, I did for a month.
I did. I did this. He's a vegetarian.
I already did this. He's a vegetarian. No, I've done vegan for a month.
No, don't remember it. How old were you?
Like 20... Does it count?
22? Doesn't count. I don't believe it.
I don't know if I was there for that.
You were. You were.
We tried to do this pescatarian bet
and I'm the only one who won. You actually guys
owe me $300 total.
I'm the only one who won. That's how bets
work. There's a winner. No, but I'm
saying you all failed. Yeah,
that was the whole point. Yeah, but you said I'm the only
one who won. Okay, I'm sorry. You all
failed and I'm the best.
Okay.
We paid out, by the way.
We paid out. How did I lose again?
You ate meat.
I'm feeling bullshit.
No, it wasn't bullshit.
I love how, like, present you doesn't think past you could fail.
That's how it diluted you.
How do you think I stay on top?
Hey, man.
Well, he cheated.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that was not cheating.
What did he do?
It's so funny because...
Hey, remember that time where we...
It doesn't have to be cheating.
If I just failed later.
Tell that to your girl.
Yeah.
Describe that to your girl.
You know what? I'll do it.
Okay.
Actually, in the Unpaid Intern,
we're not allowed to talk about the games that we did or
with each other because like obviously you talk about it later
but we would announce that they're on it
no is he leaking? Stan's already leaked it
oh Stan's leaked it
I can reveal one thing is that I
looked each camera in the eye
and I told every single
camera that Aiden cheats on his girlfriend
that's beast
that's so beast.
That's so beast.
I know you like that shit. That's pretty funny.
Okay, wait, you want him to be vegan for you?
I don't understand. I want him to be vegan.
You wanna see what happens to my poop? Yeah, yeah.
Well, actually, poop's been pretty deece.
I play it up, but recently
it's been pretty good. I wanna take a
hooded poop, like a king cobra.
Like it comes up like that?
No, no, no.
Like the poop has like a hood on it, like a snake.
Like a fan down?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want it to be natty?
Yeah, I want that to be the way it is.
Do you want it to be the way that it is inside of you?
Or do you want to sculpt it?
I want it to come out that way.
No, this is kind of what Prometheus is about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
This was like the whole idea.
They're kind of,
they kind of are just
pooping hooded little aliens
all the time.
I want to take a poop
that hisses in the toilet.
Yeah.
You just want to have a baby.
Yeah.
You want a birth.
I think I want to give birth
to a snake.
You want to give birth
to a snake and raise it.
Yeah.
For yours.
Yeah.
Wait, am I in the clear?
You have big problems
with both of them?
I'm in the clear?
Well, my problem with you
is that you didn't reach out.
I literally did.
I missed out on it personally.
Was it for work?
No.
Uh-oh, it's bonemonos.
It was the opposite.
It was for a friend.
He's got his oops,
I was wrong face on.
It was for a friend.
And he goes to me
and it was sad
you don't reply anymore
I reply
you didn't reply to him
me or him
no I replied to him
it took a couple days
I didn't reply to y'all
I had to double text for it
couple days is crazy
dude
my fucking shoot
was early
and I could not
use my phone
during the shoot
no
no phones
the evidence
what does it say I said you having fun man smiley face miss you And I could not use my phone during the shoot. No. No. No phones. The evidence.
What does it say?
I said, you having fun, man?
Smiley face.
Miss you.
Just the sweetest message ever.
What did I say back?
Nothing.
Well, he didn't see it.
Nothing.
And then I was so... Dude, you know what's funny?
I was so sad.
I was so sad that I didn't get a reply that I texted you the next day
instead of using Discord.
And then I said,
when you back, man?
Smiley face.
What'd I say?
You said Saturday.
Two exclamation points.
Oh, that's big.
And then I said,
oh shit, you're in the hood all week.
Hope you're having fun.
Saturday with a period
would have been devastating.
That would have been hard hard especially to all the
drugs rampaging through his system at edc oh dude you would have been fucking you actually i think
you would have experienced he's still a bit high right now i walked into him earlier yeah he was
just he was in here just like you know who actually was this guy oh i'll bleep it we have to
we're we're because we shared a shuttle with his group on the way
back and the last
on Saturday the end of Saturday
which is Sunday morning we're coming back
and he's like this
on the bus and he's like
Aiden
I'm more drugs than man right now
and I was like what did you take
and he's just listing
and I was like holy fuck and he was like you know what I did last night when I got back when I got back to the hotel I was like, what did you take? And he's just listing. Oh my God. And I was like, holy fuck.
And he was like, you know what I did last night when I got back?
When I got back to the hotel?
I was like, what'd you do, man?
8 a.m.? You get back in bed?
And he's like, yeah.
And I put on the yard.
No.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I know.
I listen.
Be a fan.
I listen every week.
And I'm like, you should be listening to the yard with all that in your system, man.
No, this is good for him.
He thinks we're all.
Hey, hey.
Ah! Oh my God! Oh my God! Wake up! listen to the yard with all that in your system man that's no this is good for him he thinks we're all oh my god he's still high yeah it's like three weeks later oh shit dude i think you know what i realized mark walberg was right about what i'm doing drugs waking up at 4 a.m and your life
beating back i was beating up the vietnamese guy i was up at 4 a.m he was wrong about the vietnamese
guy okay okay you need to set the record straight up at 4 a.m. He was wrong about the Vietnamese guy.
You need to set the record straight. I want to set the record straight. He was wrong about that.
Was he right when he gathered the funky
boons? Turns out it was
a Mexican guy.
That was still wrong.
He's right about
waking up and your life feels better.
I was up at that time.
Waking up is dope.
Going to sleep is dope. I'm up at that time. Yeah, waking up is dope. It's so dope. No, going to sleep is dope.
Well, I'm 34,
and so I've been thinking about death a lot lately.
You've been thinking about it so much.
And there's...
Excuse me?
You've been thinking about it so much.
What did you say to me?
I don't want...
Don't ever interrupt me ever again.
For one.
Uh-huh.
For two, you look good.
Okay.
And I'll say that.
But you haven't...
For three?
Yep.
For thrice. Going back to rule one. That is fair, because I good. Okay. And I'll say that. But you haven't. For three? Yep. For thrice.
Going back to rule one.
That is fair because I did it again.
You just did it again.
So I've been thinking about death a lot.
Okay.
Wait, what are you saying I've been thinking about a lot?
So much.
Death.
You've been thinking about so much.
You keep bringing it up.
Thinking about so much?
You are getting to the halfway mark.
You've been thinking about death so much.
Oh, that's what you're saying.
Dude, I keep.
34 hits so different than 30 can we all agree that
the halfway mark is 40 yeah he's getting to the halfway mark you like our our business the business
that we are in is is of the youth right the youth no i mean life he means in life i know but it's
like it's hard to separate you're talking about sun setting like it's death. I am genuinely in the age where it's like, if I, if I wanted to have kids, I would have
to really think about like, okay, I got to kind of get that going.
Well, no, no, no.
I don't want the kids, but you're a shit.
Look at Robert De Niro kid.
That's what I was going to say.
That's, that's the fucking celebrity.
Fuck that shit.
I'm talking normal fucking people.
And his nuts all powder.
He made it happen.
His nuts are powder, but like also I'm a guy, so I'm like very, you know. You could be 50, put those powder nuts to work. He made it happen. His nuts are powder, but also I'm a guy, so I'm very privileged.
You could be 50, put those powder nuts to work.
You're powdered berries.
My powdered berries would be fine.
But what I'm saying is, you guys, that doesn't happen until you get through middle of your 30s.
And you're like, the window's closing for life.
It just is.
I have so much time.
It's something you gotta feel. I'm in my mid-twenties
I don't even think about it. I know and you fucking will I'm my early 20s
I'm in the middle of it a to anything mid-sense for you know, no, he ate late if I was if I what's late then
There is no
29 and you turn 30 to my in my mid-tw20s if I'm at the very tail end of 25?
You're in your mid-20s if you're 20 years old or 29 years old.
That's what I think.
Okay.
Wow.
I think that.
Okay, young king.
29 to 34 is late 20s.
Thank you, zipper.
What if I was watching Game of Thrones and I was on season two?
I'd be like, I'm in the middle of it.
And if I was on season seven, I'd say the same thing.
I'm in the middle of it. Sure, yeah. No, I get it, man. I'm in the middle of it and if I was on season seven I'd say the same thing like I'm in the middle of it so sure yeah
no I get it man I'm in the thick of it
you will never be 30 is that what
you want to hear I will kill myself
the day before
you're almost 30
I'm not even
29
I said thurs in front of
clicks during
the shoot clicks is 19 year old fortnight pro yeah and he says no one says that thurs in front of clicks During the shoot clicks is 19 year old fortnight pro yeah, and he says no one says that thurs
Third like Thursday no one says that
Yeah, this is just something that people don't say people type it out people used to say first
Never with words.
Never heard that said out. Thurs was happening for a while.
Can you say this sentence?
Yeah, I could probably lay out some back shots.
Thurs, maybe Fry.
You're laying out some back shots.
You could say Fry as well.
Fry.
After my mastectomy, I can give you back shots on Wedge.
Let me check.
Let me check.
So I have to catch up my 401k Weds.
Weds.
And then maybe Thurs, we could get to them back shots.
I hope.
Clicks will outlive you by decades
that's a lie, he feels like a guy
who's gonna die young, no offense
how is that not offensive
cause he just seems like he lives life to the fullest
yeah, I see
did he just show up on a fucking
Harley Davidson
smoking meth out of a lightbulb
he's a reckless son of a gun
Clicks was at this shoot
yeah Clicks was there
he'll crank his last 90 one day
I'll never forget Clicks
as the person
who is in the
the Nadeshot 100 Thieves video
who is like streaming
and Nadeshot comes up
he's like
oh that's your little ATM right
yeah just like
get that money bro
that was
he was in
that's the only thing
I know him for
I don't even remember that
Clicks must have been 14
that's so fucking awesome
are you sure it's him uh can you get a zipper no it's not for. I don't even remember that. Clicks must have been 14. That's so fucking awesome.
Are you sure it's him?
Can you check Zipper?
No, it's not him.
Because I don't think Clicks has ever hunted thieves.
Please check Zipper Bears.
That's a hard one to find, I think, right?
No, it's just.
Oh, it's the Compa video.
Wearing the video is maybe harder.
So anyway, I'm feeling like I'm aging.
And I've been trying to use TikTok recently.
Yeah, saying that is also bad.
No, it was a piece of wood.
I will say that also happens when you get older.
Yeah, you grow those when you're 30.
You just find more wood on you.
I got birds.
No, I've been trying to use TikTok. It's hard.
What do you mean?
Sometimes when I record, there's just a really loud audio playing,
and I can't turn it off.
Is this like a tech problem yeah no it's 100% yeah so spotify is just on no no no when you open tiktok sometimes like it just starts like recommending songs to play while
you're recording really yeah yeah and like in like when i in like when i use certain features
it won't turn off like i was trying to use the one where they talk with a picture behind them,
but I was doing a stitch, and then it was just holding over the song
from the stitch, and I was like, turn off.
And it was like, no, you can't.
We don't want you to do that.
It was just really loud.
And it says also, Great Emperor Xi Jinping says have a blessed day for you.
And I say, ah, to you as well.
To you as well. You bow and it gives
you points.
Oh, I like that.
I want more.
More, more, more.
Here are your TikTok coins.
You get one hour follow, Bizz.
Did you miss us, Dubbin?
I missed you, Dubbin. I missed you, man.
Alright. I missed you, man. All right.
I missed you, man.
Which one did you miss the most?
Hold on, before Nick Essek.
Well, not fucking not me.
No.
No.
It wasn't you.
I actually missed Aiden yesterday the most.
Because we were at basketball, and I was like, where's Aiden?
Dude, you know what's fucked?
What?
Is I was here.
I was already back.
Dude, because the whole week you guys had planned on Saturday.
I didn't realize the scheduling was so in such disarray.
The group chat was a mess yesterday.
Why the fuck did you just come then?
Huh?
I didn't.
I wasn't reading it.
I just assumed basketball had already happened.
And then at the end of the day.
You opted not to even read it.
No info is better info.
It's in a server.
Because then you can't fail.
Yeah, that's true.
I didn't know the dishes were in there, sweetheart. You know re-watched the other day you know it's fun remember when we ate 17 000 calories in
a car together oh yeah that was fun man that was people were saying that was a legendary
stream that was a great moment that shit was a vibe that shit was a live stream that shit was
a vibe for sure that shit was a long form youtube live stream traveling That shit was a bonus for sure. That shit was a long form YouTube live stream traveling.
That shit was a podcast with video.
I saw it.
What were you going to say?
I interrupted you.
Well, it's because he pulled wood out of his hair.
And then I was thinking about it.
I was like, why do we have to run around in wood chips when we were kids?
What?
I think it's like better than dirt.
Oh, you're talking about on a playground?
Gravel and concrete.
Just less likely to get hurt.
I feel like you get like splinters and it does hurt. Splinters don't kill you on a playground? Gravel and concrete. You're just less likely to get hurt, right? I feel like you get, like,
splinters and it does hurt.
Splinters don't kill you, though.
I think it's pretty cheap
and easy maintenance
and everything else,
like grass,
the kids will rip it up.
So there's no way to, like,
have good grass for a long time.
Shock absorbency.
That's what it is.
Or it could be...
Where's the video, though?
Zipper.
It's because there's swings
and stuff.
I told you.
And people jump.
Fucking kids love fucking hurting themselves.
Did you guys ever do the backflip off the swing?
The video.
The 100 Thieves compound video with clicks in it.
No one answered that question.
All right.
I'm hard calling out.
You have done a backflip off a swing.
You have also done a backflip off a swing.
You never have.
Off of a swing?
Yeah.
Yeah, no. I didn't like going really high
No, sorry
Don't worry, just like kind of like we maybe I don't think you mean like just launch or literally backflip off of it
Like you just like rotate even leave it. You just like rotate
As high at the apex as you could and then launch myself off.
I did that.
That shit was fun.
But I didn't like being on the swing high.
I liked ejecting.
Do you guys ever do the thing where, okay, so there's two people on a swing.
You both rotate so that your chains twist up.
Yeah.
And then you lock your legs and you become one big boat.
And the third person pushes the boat. And so you swing like this. And then you put big like boat. Yeah, third person pushes the boat. Oh, and so you like swing like this
You let go you like you unravel
Because you're all twisted up, and then you like hit each other and then you hit the metal bar
Oh, you have a lot of fun because you're a kid. Why are you a lights?
Why are you as a man locking your legs with another? I?
Wasn't a man. It was a boy
Presumably the goal being a man was I as you're saying I was a gay child you might have been a gay kid okay
and I outgrew it yeah you can't pray to the way do we watch the decom yesterday
where dude it feels like a big allegory for stuff and and the there's characters
in the movie that are zombies but they have to
wear like electro shock bracelets to make them normal yeah it's fucking cool it's a musical
also okay so chew on that yeah uh yeah it was honestly i fucked with it pretty hard
we should get some of those bracelets for aiden
what would the gold keep them in check at EDC every time
every time I have a
gay thought at EDC
the zombie
the Disney
branded
with the logo
Walt Disney
zombie bracelet
says no that's bad
and it shocks you
and you pass out
and you wake up
good now
I'm gonna be honest
with you
it'd be a lot of
shock
how was shake
dude shake
had a great time shake shake is getting back today
shake went last night what shake stayed one more day three nights is too long i know it's too much
it's just too much i do dude i i enjoyed it like like anthony did though like going to a concert
with shake you can just fuck with him the whole time is it different
when he is how many zins did he take first off uh a few a few a few zins i mean we're not dude
we're not talking about zins when you go to edc he was doing to be clear he was doing this yeah
but it's not like that's like not what he should be yeah it's like saying with the edc oh how many
beers did you have yeah i want to know i took... How many creamers in your coffee?
How bad is rampant nicotine addiction going to get?
Oh, my God.
That's my concern.
Well, it's already there.
He'll never grow an inch.
I think he's done.
But I just had fun fucking with Jake the whole time.
So we would go to the bathroom,
and I decided that in the first bathroom trip,
I am going to loudly talk
about how bad shakes kidneys are for the entire time we're there and i'm just like how you holding
up over there bud stream good is it clear and then just that's good like he's everybody's talking
about how bad your kidneys are man i heard them talking about it outside and he's like come on
dude it's fucking and then we we get outside he's like don't worry man i'll drive you to the clinic on monday
will will it's he's just on he's been on dialysis for months will i will carry this torch next time
i see shake i will i'm gonna ask him to do something it's just going to be for this i'm
just gonna yeah i mean look you need to find some sort of terrible body problem that he's been having and make it up
What is this? Have you seen this website? Excuse me? It's called Google. Google.
You search anything?
Hey, she doesn't hear about this!
I think it's a sh-
Hey, she doesn't hear about this website!
What are you talking about?
Did you go to shakedrizzle.cz?
You haven't seen this?
Oh, you say you haven't heard about this?
I have seen it.
No, I haven't. You know what I'm talking about, right?
You know what I'm talking about, right?
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, let's go look at it though.
Is Ziver- Would you mind pulling up a website?
Zipper's also doing a task for me right now, so he's a little flustered.
He can do both.
Well, he couldn't do the first one, so.
He unzips and then the left half does one, the right half does the other.
Oh, my God, I wish.
Multitask.
I wish I could.
And what's the zip-
What's the zip-o-bee doing?
Jerking his little fucking shit at the bottom.
Getting metal, aluminum busting.
I did miss you guys.
Did you?
That just reminded me.
You like that shit?
Every time I hear that noise, I'm going to think of Devin.
When he's past after 30.
You know what?
I'm actually done messing with Shake.
Why?
Because you're about to fire him.
I'm on like that raise everybody up type shit.
Okay.
Okay, well I shake though. I can be the one to bring Shake down. No, I'm not doing Shake. I can bring Shake down. I'm on like that that raise everybody up type shit. Okay. Okay. Well I shake though
I can be the one to bring shake down. I'm not doing a shake. I can shake down again
Wait, you're you're done fucking with shake because you're raising everyone up. I'm raising Yenna
It's just into what starting with yeah to be I want it to be a 220 pound six foot four basketball player
Let's make Ian taller. Yeah, it's given the surgery. I'm trying to get one 220-pound, 6'4 basketball player. Let's make Yan taller.
Let's give him the surgery.
I'm trying to get him one more inch.
Give him more bones.
He's 165.
You taught him how to pump fake.
I've been teaching him how to ball, man.
What?
It's CX, I think.
It might be CX.
He finishes at the rim now.
Well, I go to lunch with Yan.
I'm like, Yan, you're going to need a pound of sour cream.
There it is.
Jesus.
Yes.
Of course we saw this
this got made years ago did it years ago this got made when we were making fun of him for this a lot
we you just found it out because you've been on your phone more there was one there was one person
after one of the shows that that recognized me and as we're walking out shake is behind me and
he makes eye like prolonged eye contact with Shake but doesn't say anything
And Shake was like, that guy knew. He knows I'm the burger man.
And then Shake's just paranoid.
The dude knows I'm the burger man.
Okay, this is it. Okay, I got it wrong. You can just play it zipper.
I don't think clicks is a hundred and eighty.
It's not clicks. It's a guy named Giggs.
Dude, that guy's 34 years old.
Clix is a 15-year-old.
I get it.
So he just called all of his viewers personal ATMs,
which is the hardest shit ever.
Well, he's playing Fortnite.
He's actually dropping right now.
Dude, that's fucking cool.
I will never, ever, ever forget this video i i get why
you haven't forgotten it but it is crazy we took 20 minutes to pull up the clip that clicks we just
told you clicks wasn't it no no i just i just misremembered it was like you know four letters
yeah but when you remembered we told you that clicks wasn't i was just wanting to see who it
was i didn't think i was right. I just wanted to point out.
Can you even be an employee at that age?
An employee?
Can you be employed by 100 Thieves at 14?
14? Absolutely not.
Booga was Sentinels when he won.
He was 16 when he won, wasn't he?
Uh, Booga?
You can contract out anyone you want at any age.
Why don't we do that?
Okay, we make like a factory.
We've done this.
We get our merch made.
We get a bunch of kids.
We contract miners a bunch.
Wait, what?
Dude, we probably do this by accident.
Clarify.
No.
Maybe just clarify.
Oh my god, Lil Poison started competing at the age of four for Halo.
Oh, I would smoke that Ute.
Jesus.
I would smoke that Ute. Lil Poison would smoke that youth. I would smoke that
youth.
No, no.
The old poison was
good, dude.
I'm not kidding.
Have you seen a
picture of him?
No.
He's a beast.
Look at little
poison.
That's not.
Little poison.
Oh my god.
Dude, he's got the
fucking Oscar the
Grouch shirt.
That and also a
30-year-old man has
the same shirt in a trailer park. Dude, he was doing lowercase I before riffraff. That and also a 30-year-old man has the same shirt in a trailer park.
Dude, he was doing lowercase i before riffraff.
That's hard.
How old is he now?
He's got to be like, I don't know, like fucking 16.
A grown-ass man.
Some shit.
16.
He'd be older, I guess.
Oh, my God.
He's 26.
Oh, he's fucking Aiden's age.
That's you.
My Halo timescale is That's you All you
My Halo timescale
Is so bad
All you could've been
And here
Look at that guy's
Lapping you
Dude Lil Poison
Versus
Picture of Aiden
With the N64 controller
Baby mode
Oh my god
That Aiden gets so mad
Yeah
And loses
Oh dude
Lil Poison smokes you
On the court
And you freak out
That's why your mom Took away video games Cause I was too tilted. She knew he was out there
Yeah, cuz little poison was cooking me on Mario strikers online after his halo career
He just fucking started toad flipping over the goalie started terrorizing you yeah, and here's a child pageant
Yeah, I remember like it was a great success for adults adults only. For adults only. What was that child in sight?
Child pageants for children are like a wildly successful thing.
Right.
And I just found out about this because Jojo Siwa.
Jojo Siwa.
You know Jojo Siwa?
She got the vaccine and now she can't stop doing that thing.
Oh, she's like...
Yeah, she jolts a lot.
Yeah.
Is this real? She does have... Yeah, she jolts a lot. Yeah. Is this real?
No.
She does have a dance
that involves jolting.
She's the largest gay icon
in the world right now.
Oh.
She...
She was like a child star
and she started
on the show Dance Moms,
which is basically
just a child pageant.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
And I just didn't connect
the dots that Dance Moms
was a child pageant.
Okay.
And I also didn't connect
the dots that it made
like one of the
most famous people ever. Maybe...
I haven't heard of her. She's
very famous right now. It's crazy. I haven't
heard of her. You haven't heard of most people. You haven't heard of like anybody.
You haven't heard of most people. You don't matter.
I've tried saying it in Twitter videos. They're everywhere right now.
My timeline's infested. What's on your timeline?
It's like a bunch of
like kitties and they're
like hugging. Wow. What? Yeah, I just get a lot of kitties, and they're like hugging wow yeah
I just get a lot of kitties these days me and Nick are the same timeline
I feel like cuz every time I see something's like oh, yeah, yeah, it's her doing the dance. Yes, okay?
Because can you bring up the show we gotta show slime?
Crazy dance everyone's into the dance
My understanding is that people think she's she's cringe
But they like her.
Because she said things like, I'm going to be the first one to make gay pop or something.
Like, just weird shit like that.
Like pop music?
Like, I'm going to make a new genre of music called gay pop.
Okay.
Sure, I'll fucking run it.
You guys do what you want to do, you know?
I don't mind either way.
But she's just a,
you know, she's 20
learning about herself.
Okay. I can do it for you live.
Oh, I did see this.
Yeah. That was music
video though. I want to see her like in the middle of
Times Square. I saw the one on the street, like
on the concert or whatever. You see her wear a construction outfit?
No. But she just stomps real hard.
And she like- She's from a child pageant!
Yeah, see here's the thing.
She is? Yes. If a child has ever-
She's from Dance Moms. She escaped. That's what I'm saying.
Isn't that like the- you know, she's more famous from Dance Moms than she is from child pageantry.
Well, Dance Moms to me is child pageantry.
No, but not all child pageants
are turned into
reality TV shows.
It's like Catholic Christian.
Yeah,
but like,
what you do in a child pageant
is you have one winner.
Like,
what are you saying?
Like,
not everyone on American Idol
becomes a famous singer.
All the kids win
because they all have fun.
Also,
if it's single,
let me play out third.
But like,
the thing with,
every time a kid is on camera,
it is essentially
child pageantry.
That's what you should realize here.
Yeah.
What I've realized is Disney pumps out child's children.
Careful, sweetheart.
What?
I don't like the little child and pumping in the same way.
Wait, what did you say?
I found out Sabrina Carpenter is from Disney.
Yeah.
I found that out too.
Which is crazy.
It's a me espresso. I don't think it is crazy. Who is this? I don't know. Itenter's from Disney. Yeah. I found that out too. Which is crazy. It's a me espresso.
I don't think it is crazy.
Who is this?
I don't know who this is.
You don't know?
It's been used by somebody.
Wow.
Sabrina Carpenter.
There's a song called Espresso.
It's really catchy.
She's probably like the newest, biggest pop star.
She's like Olivia Rodrigo?
Yes.
She's like the new Olivia Rodrigo.
She's inventing gay pop.
Okay, okay, okay.
Did Olivia Rodrigo fell off?
No.
She's washed.
Not at all.
She's dusty and washed like a gymnast.
Good for you.
No, that's so-
Took Madame Uso.
I'm crazy.
Don't call me that.
Sabrina Carpenter.
Yes.
Olivia Rodrigo.
Ariana Grande.
Selena Gomez.
Dude, this is the machine.
Miley Cyrus.
Are you figuring this out right now?
But like, how does Miley Cyrus-
They all come from Disney. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. I thought, okay. They're all from Disney. Dude, this is the machine. Miley Cyrus. Are you figuring this out right now? But, like, how does Miley Cyrus? They all come from Disney.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh.
I thought, okay.
They're all from Disney.
Yeah, dude.
I would have lost that connection.
Yeah, dude.
We just watched Zombies, the DCOM, right?
And what their job is to do is to try to mint, like, extremely, insanely giant pop stars.
But, like, why?
Because they don't...
Why?
Because there's fucking money in the prequel stand.
But, like, I don't think Disney has any ownership or like rights over any of those people anymore.
Yeah. Oh. Have you heard of a company called Viacom, pussy?
Yeah. Almost certainly they do.
Do you think? Yes, dude.
Yeah. How deep does it go?
But they probably own all of the old Miley stuff and none of the new Miley stuff.
Like The Climb?
Yes, The Climb.
The Permute in like an episode. You should a like them on voice memos. Yeah, okay
They didn't like private you know many fingers Disney has and how many pies
So that was chill. Thank God. It's a pie
And you said how many fingers in and that's
They got figures and pies and mouths
Let's reset we're getting too crass no
Analogy that everyone uses in the Bible
Is it the figure at least once the fingers chips are everywhere cause I'm gonna look this up I don't know if poop is in the Bible. Is it? At least once. The fingers of blue chips are everywhere. Pause.
I'm going to look this up.
I don't know if poop is in the Bible.
Dude, I can't stop thinking about Mickey putting two fingers into Minnie's mouth.
Oh, yeah.
You like that?
Do you think he takes the glove off?
Yes.
Tell me how big, Minnie. Tell me I'm off a perk
I got it
Deuteronomy 23
as part of your equipment
have something to dig with
and when you relieve yourself
dig a hole
and cover up your excrement
oh
that's just what they do
that's just good advice
that's just good advice
it's just
it's just healthier it's more it's just good advice. That's just good advice. That's just what you should be doing. It's just healthier. It's more, it's cleaner.
And then an apple tree grows.
Mitty, I burned my excrement with this on.
Yeah, Mickey likes taking dumps, getting blown by-
Mitty poked out the water!
You know he's a freak about it.
Mickey's a freak.
I know Mickey's a freak.'s good to have you back Mickey's a freak I know Mickey's a freak
Mickey Mouse gloves
Doing like the
It's like a sticker
On a car
Yeah a sticker
On the back of a truck window
I don't want to see
Mickey doing that
If Cutie went down
A different path
That'd be the guy
She's dating
Is a guy with
The Mickey Mouse
Always wears the gloves
She'd be wearing
That sticker
Would be on the back of her
F-150
It'd say like
Disney adult
I think
Shoot
Like ACDC
For
I think she'd
Honestly gotta hate it
Huh?
I think she needs
To date someone
Who's not into Disney
Really?
Cause I think
For the balance
Cause there's no
Cause there's no balance
Right?
You lost
Yeah And she would hate to be
out Disney'd.
Oh, I see.
Because I brought up my baking dream and instantly she was like
That's fucked up though.
It's insane to have that dream.
Would it not be fucked up if my dream was to
have Mickey put two fingers in my mouth
until I fucking cum in Climax?
Would that be insane to say?
Wait, that would be a dope dream.
That would be a fire dream that would be a fire dream
that would make me freaking cut my little head off with just his fingers in my mouth
that would be insane
that's powerful I don't know how he does it
Mickey Minnie roleplay and that was
your dream? tell me I'm not crazy
I'd gas you up
you need to have that dream before
you meet her so it's like your thing
if you just the problem is you just suddenly wanted
To bake like six months ago, and that was before I met her
I said before you wish Mickey would fucking make me ejaculate and then we started dating that'd be fine
Yes, but then while we start doing it. I can't even think about Mickey
It's just her thing. I can't fantasize about one time ever cuz her thing. Yeah, she can't she like it's her
She is allowed to I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it one time ever because of her thing. Yeah, she can't. It's her. She is allowed to fantasize.
I'm thinking about it.
Stop me.
She's allowed to fantasize about Mickey's hooded like a cobra penis.
You can't control my thoughts.
Mickey, I love the hood like in Kingdom Hearts.
Yeah, he has a hooded penis like a cobra.
It's just a foreskin.
It can't all be like a cobra.
I think cobras are cool.
That's fair.
I want a hooded penis as well.
You just got a foreskin.
You could have had it.
You did have it.
I did let Woke take it from me.
I came out without it.
Think about me.
I told the doctor no.
I grabbed his hand.
Put a little baby in.
I said not me.
No way I'm letting another man touch my dick.
I said blood chill on me.
He was the original boss, baby.
Yeah, you said to the doctor, pause.
Hey, I'll pause.
Why do you want to do so bad?
I came out in the low-tier god pose.
Dude, there was a...
I keep thinking about it.
It was a long time ago when it was like masculinity takes Twitter accounts.
And it was a screenshot of a guy
genuinely saying,
why are you as a man ordering fish?
And I'm like,
there are dudes out there
who are like,
no, if you don't order
like a raw steak at a restaurant,
you're a pussy
and you should kill yourself.
I'm on that shit.
These are the people,
this is the straw man.
This guy can't be
no no dude because because like i it links it to it sometimes and i i saw it i saw the guy defending
and it's like this is it's just like ultra masculine i'm on this shit i'm telling you
to do this yeah we're at a Mexican restaurant stop eating fish nothing but horse hair
no i roll it up girls have hair i oh i roll it up and hair is not no horse hair. No. I roll it up. There's gay girls
with hair.
I roll it up.
Hair is not, no.
Horse hair is no girl horses.
Those are called ponies.
Oh, that's so true.
We fuck with
mare hair, dude.
Mare hair.
I don't like that.
Can we go back?
Before the horse bit.
Okay, okay.
So we're putting
two fingers into the pie.
I like that more.
Soft and warm.
This feels like home to me.
No, don't.
Archie, do not show that.
I don't want fucking fan cams.
Stop.
Stop it.
Ew.
God, you put us so deep in shit.
You're too open with your whole thing.
You're the guy who wanted to take Viagra and do the pod.
Yeah, I thought that would be really funny.
But would you not think there'd be a fan cam of your little fucking dick why would we do that this is dude in our house
this morning we were getting something fixed so there's there's two contractors coming really
early and and my girlfriend has to wake up early to leave for her work at the same time and they've
boxed her into the driveway with the van and
she's like you have to you have to get them to pull out and i'm like i'm getting out of bed
i was asleep and i fucking put on a pair of shorts and i walk out to talk to the contractor
and i realize as i turn the corner to talk to the contractor and zipper too that i i just have a
boner you have a morning bone i have a morning in front of my girlfriend and I was like I just have and I'm like uh sorry you're gonna pull your car and I just try to like slip away oh my god I was like I just I was like a magic cartoon where he's walking through the door and his dick goes and they're all looking at it and it's like and it keeps going and they're like what? His dick pops out of it, and his head over it.
Like Scooby-Doo.
I was like, hey fam, hey fam.
Because I'm asleep, and she's like, I'm going to be late for work.
I need them to get out.
And I'm like, okay, I'll get up.
Fucking, oh shit.
I don't think I would ever make this mistake.
I don't think I could ever lack awareness at this level.
I don't think I could.
It's beast.
I don't think it's bad.
I think it's cool.
I'm hard so often
that it's hard for me
to tell it apart.
What a weird thing to add in.
Oh my god.
The tape came off.
You're hard so often.
I made that up.
I feel better about it.
This actually happened.
It sounds like
I will be making this up.
Me and Miles
went to go take a walk
because he's trying to get
like 3k steps in.
He needs 11k a day until the end of the month. Dude, he walks so much. He now needs 11 because he's trying to get like 3k steps he needs 11k a day until the end of the month dude he walks
so much he now needs 11 because of he's behind oh so we're walking and uh this guy comes up next to
him next to us and he's like he's like a short dude i find out he's around 80 years old and the
reason why is because i'm wearing my shirt that says papaya on it and he stops he's like this short mexican guy and he's like hey papaya like my wife ate papayas every single day and she lived to be
92 she's dead now and i'm like that's that's beast and he's like yep that's right and he's
walking with us now and now we're sort of locked into this conversation and he just starts explaining
stuff he's like you guys you guys know where to meet girls? And we're like, where, man?
He's like, the library.
That's kind of beast.
And he told us.
He said, I was at the library, and this girl comes up to me,
19 years old, and she says, $20, I'll suck you.
I'll suck you $20.
Come outside.
And he's like, okay, okay, $20.
And he said, we went to a hotel
room and i checked her id because i didn't want to go to jail he's telling all of us like he's
telling us this happened recently too yes this was like four days after his wife passed away like oh
no no yeah yeah that's why he's walking around he's like you guys know this fucking library and
he's and he's like so we have a wait till we get a hotel and i check and $20. She sucks me. And we were like, yeah.
And then he's like, and we ended up dating for a year and a half.
Oh my God.
She lived in Bakersfield.
She was my girlfriend.
And we're like, oh, that's cool.
Well, $20.
$90.
He's 80 years old.
$20.
That's a high price for Bakersfield.
Hold up.
Let me do the math.
40 plus seven.
He's definitely not paying attention to the rule. The gap. Hold up. Let me do the math. 40 plus seven.
He's definitely not paying attention to the rule. The gap's too large.
The gap's too large.
Yeah.
TikTok, do your worst.
Cancel that guy I met on the street.
Dude.
And he's explaining this.
And then we were like, damn, that's crazy.
She was your girlfriend?
He's like, yeah.
We're like, okay.
And he keeps walking with us.
And he's like, and you know what? this is what i'm thinking about this lady he's like also every day i wake up i
realize that i should be dead already and so that every day i wake up it's just extra and miles like
oh yeah it's just like bonus right and he's like no it's extra and i'm like okay sure i'll sit in
him and he explains all this to us and he says And he finally turns to walk
Into a Del Taco
And we say goodbye
And he hollers at us as we're walking past him
And he says remember the library
Okay I think he just puts on a wig
And he pretends to be the 19 year old girl
And he's trying to get 20 bucks from y'all
He peers up over the book
Yeah
He's like Hi I'm 19
I will suck your dick for $20
Yeah he basically said if you're looking for a
Prostitute go to the library and also if you want
To live until my wife did
Eat papayas
Two unfounded pieces of wisdom
It was crazy and me and Miles were just like
Cause he already walked with Josh that day
And he had to like help this old lady
Get into her car who was like
screaming he just had these side quests
all day he just magnetized
toward them so I mean
he does he does get those
that's like his whole thing look look
if you can make $20 but then go back to
Bakersfield good value yeah
yeah the exchange rates crazy
it's like the Japanese yen two hours
of work
it's like Zimbabwe everyone there eats Denny's Yeah, the exchange rates crazy about your Japanese yen two hours of work
It's like Zimbabwe
For all meals of the day God imagine getting rizzed up by an 80 year old man in the library I don't think that was raised
Desperation I think he met a lady of the day Riz
I don't think that is that is desperation from a 19 year lady of the day. Riz. I don't think that is,
that is desperation from a 19 year old.
But it's Riz.
It's not Riz.
It's not Riz.
It's not just Riz.
Because he was probably charming in some way.
You hung out with him
and you brought up already a thing that he did
that wasn't charming with the extra and the bonus thing.
Weirdly enough,
I was just like,
what an interesting little man.
He's forthcoming.
He was really tiny, too.
He's certainly forthcoming.
He was like 5'2".
Yeah.
It was crazy.
He used to be taller, I imagine.
Probably, because he's so old and you shrink.
Time goes.
So, that's what I did.
Yeah.
That was my week.
And don't talk to me until I have my
tatvi. My tatvi.
Oh, can I fucking...
No.
That's fair.
Aiden, get in on this.
Get in on this.
Don't eat them.
I want you to spit at him. Stop!
What is he doing? He's being Mickey Mouse.
He's being crass.
The hunger box thing. Oh, yeah. being Mickey Mouse. He's being crass. He's being it up. He's being crass. What were you gonna say? The Hunger Bucks thing.
Oh yeah.
I just really, quickly, I think everyone who was, uh...
Upset?
Yeah, it was cringe.
I also think that.
I agree!
Thank you!
Thank you!
We're unanimous.
Thank you.
Can we...
It's good for the game.
As a people, can we just punch down?
Can we just punch down?
Do you say, no?
No.
We can't.
Can't punch down. That's one of the great
responsibilities.
Oh, you're talking about
the Twitter thing.
I'm talking about all of it.
All of it?
Wait, are you talking
about the tweet?
It's okay.
Here's the context.
Hey, everyone.
Context time.
Context guy here.
Can you pull up
the Hungrybox pop-off?
It's on YouTube.
Hungrybox pop-off
on Get On My Level Twitter.
Hbox wins a crazy game
against another jigglypuff.
He barely beats
the 29th best player
in the world, is like an embarrassing loss
If he loses and he clutches it up
It's all true
It's the first puff ditto he lost in like four years or some I don't actually don't think that's true either
He's lost online twice okay, not online. It's been like years. So it's a tight. It's battles against SDJ from Texas.
And it goes the last third.
Huh?
He's a great player.
And then fucking Hbone wins the game.
Here it is right here.
It's go to the very end.
This is game one.
It's a 30 minute set.
It was lit, dude.
I watched the whole set. This is kind of a banger set. Dude, there was almost no camping. It was riv dude I watched the whole set
This is kind of a banger
Dude there was almost
No camping
It was riveting
Yeah
It was riveting
No it was 30 minutes
It was not riveting
Also
No you guys should be
I was locked in
I was locked in
I was watching this on stream
I saw your stream
You were playing daily games
On the side
Yeah
Dude
Because you guys
Because you guys expected it
To be a bad set
But it was actually
Just a good set
Filled with neutral
Well Josh is a top 10 melee player in the world
So I don't know what Josh also has like one of the worst opinions about melee
Which is what that like he finds half the shit like annoying and can't be except for like what he does now free one
I know cuz they're all cringe the good players are great. Thank you. Their opinions are irrelevant. I just wanted to make that clear
How come Ludwig you don't read my chat messages in your stream? I did.
I did.
I read it.
I read it.
No, I sent a different one.
You didn't read it.
Oh, honest to God, it's really hard to read certain people's.
He was playing a game with a map, and he said, I think it's Pakistan.
And I said, I'm packing with stands.
And he didn't even read it.
I miss that.
I would have chuckled.
You said something else.
Would I read it?
It's because you don't have a checkmark next to your YouTube channel.
No, he's got like a gear.
I'm the moderator.
Alright, here it is.
So-
I'm a moderator?
Look at this Bob-O.
Yeah.
Hi-yah!
BOOM!
So for the little audio listeners, HBox has thrown a chair-
Onto the stage.
Onto the stage.
He picks it up again and he goes,
No one.
No.
No one.
And then he stops himself from throwing it, and then he looks at-
Your power is too great.
Then he screams in the camera.
Dude, that is sick.
Yeah, with the most insane screen grab of all time.
That's what I don't like the most.
He kind of grabs SCJ's hand and shakes it and kind of yanks it down because he's so
hyped.
I don't like that.
That's probably the biggest problem I have with all this.
I have no problem with any of this.
To shake the man's hand normal.
I think it's just good for the sport.
I think this is good for the game. But he pops off and then people are on twitter because
they don't like hbox they're like uh can we just like not fucking throw chairs and it's like okay
sure but then hbox quote retweeted some person saying a very small account who's like yeah that's
the screen grab uh like a small account and they're like a to or something and he quote retweeted that
and said suck my dick yeah he should have said shut up he should have said shut up or eat my
shit that is the gender neutral sort of non-gendered insult way to do this i do this and then when
people start arguing on your behalf on twitter you block them as punishment but juan would never do
that because he needs it like mentally and emotionally so that
was the mistake he used a sort of gendered thing to say against a uh like a woman on twitter which
is bad but then people are like writing think pieces about it and i'm like look man let him
fucking throw chairs you invoice him and you tell him don't say suck my dicks i eat my shit
all of this is solved easily he only should do, he should just have like a retainer,
or like a deposit that he keeps with all tournaments.
A pop-off deposit?
And then right when he pops off,
he can just break whatever he wants as long as it's under that value.
Yeah.
Also, I explained this to Jerry.
This happened at Wave Dash, the one in San Diego near the beach.
And Juan like threw a chair and broke it.
And I'm like, Jerry, this this is what you do here is you
invoice Juan you say you have 30 days to pay this if you do not pay me I will go to Twitter and I
will let everyone know and he'll get hate and I'll hate that and I'll make him pay and he's got bread
he'll be fine or just gouge it you don't even oh dude the price of the brick Juan every chair you
break gouge it from his from his get a premium on
broken chairs
I think it's so fucking it's good
man it's good I think he's excited
we make his chair out of cake
and then when he throws it it freaking goes
and it's like and Marilyn Monroe comes
out and she's like got her neck broken
Jesus
she was in the chair
she was gonna pop out and say, happy birthday, Zane.
But,
but,
but X-Mox threw it really hard
and she broke her neck.
She's dead.
That's,
I loved that.
Give it up for our moist moguls.
He likes it.
Our moist moguls,
one and only.
Moist moguls.
Let's hear it for our moist moguls.
Yeah, I thought it was cool.
I thought throwing the chair was cool.
I was like,
hell yeah.
It was a cool comeback.
Yeah. And I was like, okay, I don't care. I actually throwing the chair was cool. I was like, hell yeah. Because it was a cool comeback. Yeah.
And I was like, okay.
I don't care.
I actually, I don't share the opinion of like, this is like a lowly loss.
I think like if anyone takes you close and you win, it's hype.
Yeah, sure.
I just think it's funny.
It's a reverse three up.
Like one of his greatest pop-ups of all time is SCJ.
Eh, I think it's valid.
Like if you look through his career.
You're, I think on the other end of the spectrum, you're like ultra like who cares maxing.
If it's not like mango,
it'd be more valid if it's mango.
I still think the pop-off is funny.
I just think it's also funny.
You just think it's more valid if it's mango.
I think pop-offs come from different emotional places
than just like how good the person is
on the opposite end of the screen.
Or not even necessarily mango,
just like where it is in bracket and stuff like I just had moments like the insane
I like when he screams at the TV. Yeah after game. What is it to?
I don't know what game was he just like he like
It's Street Fighter you make him like do stuff like the versus screen like
Hbox also in Street Fighter where you make him like do stuff in the like the versus screen they're like uh H-Walk's also
um
what was I gonna say
I made that weird sound
and then I
all my thoughts
went away
I think your sound
was that weird
yeah it was a fun moment
good pop up
so I think
my argument
for this is
some would be like
well would we would we allow this
if it wasn't like a top player?
Like, yeah, dude,
if you're on top eight stage
and you throw a chair,
that's also funny.
As long as you don't hurt someone.
Real.
As long as you don't damage,
you don't throw any equipment,
you don't throw it off the stage,
you don't hurt anybody,
you pay for it.
If he threw it into the crowd,
that'd be a problem.
I also think if I was the TO as somebody who loves this moment and thinks it's swag, I would also
take the time to be like, awesome pop-off, sick win, next time.
Please don't do that.
Please don't do that.
And if you do, I'm going to remember this conversation.
But the people who are like instant ban, it's part of the fun.
I don't know.
I feel like that should be part of the fun of watching a melee tournament
Yeah, don't ever go to Final Destination cards and games in Carson, California circa 2017 don't
That would kill a pilgrim they literally threw chairs as a celebration
Yeah, like a religious like like the fucking crushing the wine glass at a bar mitzvah
You guys like grants that? Granz was like
maybe the best two sets of... No, I stopped watching.
Dude, actually, okay, so actually what happened...
Dude, what? I don't care about Zayn-Jay moves.
That was two of the best sets of melee I've watched
in so long. They don't care about melee.
Who cares? Yeah, you like Sheik. Oh, look what he did.
He fucking Sheik. He walked. He waisted
in there. Look, this is me. This is me saying that.
That forward bear went by so good.
Zayn's about to scream into the TV. This is such a high-level set. Look, this is me. This is me saying that. That forward bear up, that's all good. James wants to scream
into the TV.
Dude, this is a high-level set.
Listen, me and Josh,
we woke up at the crack
of 10 a.m.
to miss half the top 32.
Yeah.
And then we watched
the rest of it.
We watched top eight.
It was really fun.
We watched it on stream.
And then when Mango lost
against the Grants,
we had to play Tekken.
So we were like,
this is, we just have to,
like, we don't really care
that much about Zayn and Jameuk.
Let's go play Tekken because of the tournament we did that day, like, we don't really care that much about Zayn and Jmook. Let's go play Tekken
because for the tournament
we did that day.
And then,
we watched it back
later on that night
and we were like,
okay,
yeah,
this is one of the greatest
sets of all time.
Dude,
that's what I'm saying.
It was two of the best sets
I've seen in so long.
It was really hype.
So,
shouts out.
That was a great tournament.
It was a fucking,
poor code.
Oh,
I also won my tournament
in the stage jam slam.
I got first.
I just saw that you tweeted
that you got carried.
I did.
I don't know how it works.
How does that work?
How do you get carried if you won?
By the bear?
So it's like a crew battle
and it's like there's five people
on a crew
and you gotta win three
of the five rounds.
We got first.
We got...
Be fair to your team.
I got first.
Okay.
Did you win your match?
Dude, I barely...
No.
I got fucking rinsed by Josh three times. I got first. Okay. Did you win your match? Dude, I barely, no. I like, I got fucking rinsed by Josh three times.
I had some great moments, but I was definitely
the weak one. You didn't win a single match? Oh, I won a couple
during the group stage. Okay. But not in bracket.
I had to play fucking Joelman
as Freaky Brian. I was off Tekken.
How often is he playing? He stopped
playing. Dude, he would wake up, play Tekken
for seven hours, practice combos,
and then I would still rinse his ass.
And then he would learn one simple trick, and then I couldn't beat him.
What was the simple trick?
It's called Orbital.
It hops over lows and it punches my bare head.
Bye.
See you later.
That's cool.
Okay, bye.
Okay, bye.
Well, congrats on your win.
No, it was fun.
I love that fucking game.
I'm going to keep playing it.
Josh, he woke up this morning right as I was about to leave and he was like
dude I just wanna wake up
and play Tekken habitually
he like doesn't like
the game right now
he wants to play Melee
obviously it's his job
but he's like
he has been waking up
and just grinding
for hours
and he's like
what about Shaheen
who's like a really
obscure Tekken character
to like pick up
he's
he's got fucking
brain problems man
he needs to go back
to other games he does he got a new controller he's zumping he's got a c-pad he hates the fucking c-pad
yeah well no no he got a new one with like a different clicky he showed not the one i saw
at your house oh yeah yeah i said i hate this he goes i hate it too yeah but he can do like
special ledge dashes that are special and it cost him $400. I
Hate this world. We live in isn't it fucked man. You know Cody's control is $2,000. Yeah, that's not true
For what's not true? That's that just can't be
Made by who by who by who who's who is going up to Cody? Yeah, two thousand
It's like when Dean Dennis by crack. Yeah
Like $200 and like okay There's one honest player left Zane. Oh Yeah, two thousand. It's like when D and Dennis buy crack. Yeah.
It's like $200.
I'm like, okay.
There's one honest player left, Zane.
Then he won.
$150 OEM.
Where's Marth?
No notches.
He plays on the spark controller, right?
No.
No, sparks, they do.
They both play on spark controllers.
But spark controllers are OEMs.
There we go.
Whatever.
I don't care. Look.
I don't care. I got fucking bigs. There we go. Whatever. I don't care. Look. I don't care.
I got fucking big bread.
Big.
Yeah.
We're talking about melee.
Because we like it.
What are you going to do about it?
I've been playing.
I've been playing in Counter-Strike with these group of Oregon melee friends.
A bunch.
And we'll play melee here and there too.
I've been playing against Yamasaki a bunch.
Who's like one of the best players in Oregon right now.
Marth.
Marth player.
Yeah.
And we play a lot of Sheik Marth.
And what will happen is like we'll do a money match or a set.
But the call has started to get in on it.
And there's often like 10 people in the call.
And they'll place like side bets.
But they all love yams.
So they love betting on yams and i just bet on myself
so it's me against yams and against the rest of the call while i'm in the call with them all
chirping okay and this is devolved from mars chic which was really good practice into and and we're
like going back and forth in mars chic which is really nice too so there's always like a little
bit of an arms race but it has devolved into falco dittos oh god and i'm losing a lot of money and uh and it's like the
i'm in the oregon thunderdome like this is the way i'm practicing my my mental is getting harassed
by 10 people that go to a weekly called ass as one of the biggest locals in the country is it's like the second
biggest local in the United States it happens in Adams basement in Portland
yep that's out ass how many people enter like 60 have like 60 people every
Wednesday it's crazy it's bigger than Verdugo yeah dude it's legit juicy yeah
um yeah if you should stop doing that.
No, because eventually I will start beating Yams' Falco with my Falco.
If you want some tips, go ahead, pull up Graves vs. Slime,
battle a BC four or three.
Dude, that stock keeps going up.
I'll tell you that much.
I know.
I'm the GOAT.
I play Cuba.
I realize my mom kind of screwed me over.
By birthing you into this horrible planet
wow
for one
and then naming me Ludwig
and then expecting me
to be a piano player
she expected that?
she made me take piano lessons
for like five years
that is crazy
it's like naming
Michael Jordan
I've never seen you
play a day in your life
wait we have seen him play
he practiced
remember when he practiced
a bunch at home
he never practiced around me
I mean I don't do it because I didn't like super love it, but she made me play piano all childhood cuz you want to bake
That's what this is your Eddie's million-dollar cook-off. Yes
It's bald your mom well
I guess both your leaders both your routes are like the game is like high school musical you don't have like the football route
You just have piano and baking which is like she but isn't it fucked up to name your kid Ludwig and then be like, yeah, be a pianist.
Like what is my, what is my best I can do is be the second best Ludwig.
Hi, this is my new baby boy, LeBron James.
Like what the fuck?
Yeah.
Good luck playing basketball.
It'll go very well for you.
It's not a.
It's not good.
Yeah.
I didn't know she she wanted that
No, she was a pernilla
Nothing I
Don't I mean that was the first right you is
Normal I will say bro when when we look back at like the childhood books cuz she got she got like one of them childhood
Picture books it's like first steps first crawl first word
Do you get brutally mugged by your sister?
My sisters is full like every single thing has a picture and then mine is like first crawl and it's like oh, there's me first step
There's me and I was like first word. It's like the picture start like my school
Skip for it's like yeah, it's like ninth grade
Remember I will do the what do you like panic at this?
Stop pooping selfies like 14
Yes, she's gave up she's like this is the first kid we don't need two books. Oh
That's okay. She loves your sister more. That's true. Oh, by the way.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
I don't think my parents
wanted anything from me.
Like, I don't...
They never made me...
They never, like,
made me do anything.
No, they wanted you
to be a COD player.
I think that's the one thing...
I think your parents
raised you bad.
I don't think that's true.
No, they raised you well.
You think they raised him well?
I think so.
I think he turned out well.
What's the biggest lesson
that you learned
from your mom?
From my mom? From my
mom.
I also take that back, Nick's mom,
if you're listening. I didn't mean that.
You hold
no weight in her life. He didn't mean
that. I said I attacked how she
raised her son. Yeah, and she didn't even care.
She scoffed. No.
She said, what do you know? We'll talk
later. probably kindness next
mom i think i'd be a lot rougher around the edges if not for my mother she taught you to be kind i
think i think i i have always felt really you know like secondhand embarrassment when people
made fun of or someone's not being listened to i think i've always been really sensitive to that
i think it's because of her that's cool He also taught him how to install the third party application. You need to run hop hog
If you sprint in midair it does a different animation sniper rifle
Oh, we have to issue
a formal apology
to Zac Efron.
Oh, yeah, we got it wrong.
I actually felt bad about this.
We got it wrong.
Actually, Ludwig can do it for us.
Yeah, Ludwig?
Please.
Can you apologize, please?
You're the leader.
It's your podcast, Efron.
I'm assuming you guys
made fun of Zac Efron
for his face
and you assumed
it was some personal desire
to look like that,
as opposed to the reality that he had an accident in his reconstructive surgery?
This is just off the top of what you guys would say.
This doesn't sound like us.
You guys are probably, like, weirdly harsh on how he looks.
Nope.
And made fun of him in his physical appearance.
I actually don't have anything to apologize for now that I think about it.
Is this right?
His name is Zac Efron?
No K.
Isn't that weird? I don't know it
I don't know it. That's what I think happened. Which one's that? Is that in the apps? Is this what happened?
Contacts application. Yeah, that's fine. That's pretty much exactly what happened.
You guys love making fun of people and then also how they look. Uh, yeah
Yeah, because that one guy commented on your video in
Uh, yeah. Yeah, because that one guy commented on your video in friggin' 2020 and said I look like Clint Stevens if he was put in a washing machine.
And now I'm hurt, and I have the Harry Potter scar.
And I touch it, and I'm like, I have to hurt others.
No, since the sixth grade you've been doing this.
I have to hurt other.
You've been hurting since the sixth grade.
No.
Since the sixth grade I was playing Nazi zombies.
Oh, online you were talking real nice, real sweet? Yeah, I was like, hey guys, let's make sure we build
the windows back up because it's harder for them to get back in.
Nocturne Totem, so fun. Hey, I bought the first
door. Can you buy the second door? That actually was
me.
I 100% believe that.
He gets a bad mystery box
gun. He's like, dude,
the odds are fucked, man.
On the river? How do you get there?
Well, thank you, Ludwig, for issuing that apology.
Thank you.
From you specifically.
You have to own up to it, too.
We sent a text message that said,
this week you guys have to talk about this.
And we thought it was weird.
But I do what the director says, you know?
When group leader says it at the TikTok Riz party.
We do like to make fun of people.
Yeah.
We had William Osmond on recently.
Yeah.
Dipper 3 listened to this episode and she said, I was 15 minutes in and I thought you guys
were just doing the goon commander voice.
Dude, no way.
She didn't know there was a guest.
He does not sound like that.
I get where she's coming from.
And I was like, oh.
That's crazy.
I also like that your girlfriend, if she had never met you, that sentence would not be
in her arsenal.
Oh, yeah.
Ever.
No, she's seeing new colors.
Yeah.
Wonderful.
Because she is now saying the goon commander voice as like a normal thing to refer to.
Yeah.
Oh, that makes me me that makes me happy beautiful
gooning's big gooning's so big it's so big right now it's so it's having a moment
mewing is big and it's like but it's like wash big yeah well i think they sell mewing stock
buy gooning stock still gooning is just more of a classic yeah true like you know what i mean well
this is it for can you pull up sundy on YouTube? You know this guy?
No.
He's like a big YouTuber.
A bunch of people will be like,
Dude, Sundy, man, I was raised on his videos.
Like they'll type that in these comments even.
Okay.
Cause I brought him up.
But if you look, he does only Among Us content.
Okay.
And he's been doing Among Us content still.
Wait, if you're raised on Among Us content, how old are these people?
He used to do different stuff, but he pivoted.
Now go to videos.
Oh shit. Oh this guy. 26 go to videos. Oh, shit.
26, 23 million?
I've seen this profile picture.
Scroll down a little bit.
Blood destroys you.
Dude, 28k views in 20 minutes.
Go down to the mewing one.
That's pretty good.
And can you just play the first 15 seconds of this?
Today in Among Us, we're mewing.
Everyone is racing to max out their mew meter.
And as the imposter, I need to slow the others down
Can I become the mewing what happened to fucking
Arsonist is this a mod?
Far gone a mo Gus has got
You haven't kept up with among us this is where they're at right now.
Is the mewing meta.
That's crazy.
And then all the comments are brutal.
What is, what is, hold on, what is mewing?
The comments?
Dude, I don't think I know, I thought I knew what it was, but I don't think I know what it is. Mewing is just holding your jaw in a certain way that makes
it's thought to make your muscles in your
face, like, make your face more
masculine looking. Wait, I thought this is gurning.
Or whatever the fuck Josh
was saying. No, gurning is just making a goofy
face, and they call it that because they call things
budgie smugglers and dingo bears.
That's just a word
they make because they're bored. I thought gurning was when you do the
when you're chewing the thing.
No, this is an Australian thing.
It's- Jesus.
But mewing, yeah.
Deliberately destroying your facial expression by projecting your lower jaw forward and up.
See?
It's a gurney drill.
I see why it conflated.
Oh, that's gurney.
That's gurney.
They're similar.
Gurney's frame their face inside a horse collar.
So yeah, mewing is just supposed to like make your face look stronger
It's one of those like red pill things
Like hunter eyes
You heard of that too?
No
You kind of like
You kind of like dip your brow forward
And it's called hunter eyes
And it makes you look like you're fucking alpha
That's what Zayn was doing
When he almost forced Doc Jameis
Yeah
He's actually doing that
What are you doing?
What's that?
You look like you're
You're just handsome
You look like you have gumballs in your mouth and you don't want me to know.
You look like a witch.
The scan of you
Oh my god.
The scan of your face on the
unpaid intern set looks
like the fucking Chad meme.
The one at my funeral was me
mewing. Yeah, you're mewing in that.
That's a crazy picture
The funeral picture
When you respected my death
Yeah
And what not
I respected it
No cause every time you do it
You do that
What is
Exactly
Help me
Anytime you try to do face
It's handsome squidward
Handsome squidward is mewing
It's handsome squidward
You think I'm handsome
No no you're not doing
The handsome squidward
I think you're handsome
You're doing like duck lips
Let me explain something That I'm putting together at this very moment right now
okay we all have strong chins we have never needed to mute excuse me i don't know if i call it strong
here let me see your profile it's strong enough yes it's you know we have we have powerful chin
i think we have passing chins. I wouldn't call them powerful.
Okay, I have a powerful chin, I'm just telling you.
But we've never had to encounter a Mewing.
I don't know, you look like... We've never had to...
Here's the thing.
Dude, Matt and I look like that all the time.
Jesus Christ.
Imagine this was our friend.
You look like a steel worker in the 1920s.
He looks like the guy who blows up in Breaking Bad.
He looks like he's sticking out for us.
What murder?
You're not supposed to just have an...
Dude, you look exactly like the guy who blows up in Breaking Bad. It feels like he's sticking out far. What murder! You're not supposed to just have an undisputed... Dude, you look exactly like
the guy who blows up in Breaking Bad.
In the wheelchair. Oh yeah!
Uncle Salamanca.
.
.
.
Dude. What was his name?
Off by all memory. Not Gustavo.
Uncle Salamanca.
Hugo Salamanca. I, yeah, Hugo Salamanca. You saw a monk. I think
Zipper call you when you walk in here. I'm blowing half your face off
Break I have two questions. Okay for you first one
When's D&D look me stop asking that in public?
You keep answering in public
Well, yeah, it's the problem. I don't want to answer in public. I made a whole right up to the discord about it
What'd you say? What are you doing for the people not on the discord? No one's done this before
What the fuck? Okay. I'm actually with it. I just want to sit on the floor freaking me out. It's kind of sick
I like it. This is what drugs do to you. Yeah, this is what your mind
I'm more. I came back from EDC. So I'm grounding. I'm more in touch with the fake grass
Yeah, that's blowing your fucking mind right now. Yeah, we're close
We're close. It is super close. It's super close. You could go in the chat. You can see it's very close
Yeah, see what there's like a progress meter like dominoes. Yeah, I know
Enrique is finishing your D&D or
You know what else means shake we're doing a DC spreading heinous rumors about shake about who just kept
Loudly talking about how there was a cholera outbreak in the VIP water
The whole time I love it getting up to some shit just trying to spread the cholera. Yeah
whole time i love like getting up to some shit just trying to spread the cholera yeah this would be the best edc ever if there was no if there was just no cholera in the vip water
it would have been the best one and i really really wanted to tweet it and i was like dude
if this like breaks out of my sphere it's bad it's bad i got you well it's too late i heard there was cholera
at edc because because now it's good when it's there because then there's panic for the people
who want the water it's over but now it's over so people will just maybe check if they have
cholera but that was the joy of doing it a little bit because it's it's people people panic for a
second but then as soon as you you know the situation. You might have one person not drink the water.
Just the VIP water?
The GA water was clean.
Oh, also, you know why I'll always be a better friend than you?
Because you wouldn't buy Miles a VIP EDC ticket, and I would do that without a second thought.
Okay.
I want you to always remember that.
That's sure.
That's fine.
Well, let's rewind, maybe. Okay. Because I don't think slime values money. He'll remember that. That's sure. Yep. That's fine. Well, let's rewind, baby.
Okay.
I don't think slime values money.
He'll eat that.
He's now he's eating.
Yeah, that's true.
Let's not say it like VIP was the barrier.
The normal ticket is like 300, $400 cheaper.
Would you have gotten him that?
The GA ticket?
Yeah.
No, I wouldn't have done that.
That's fair.
That's fair. Yeah. No, I wouldn't have done Iron Man. That's fair. That's fair.
You have different worldviews. Never forget,
guys. You have different
worldviews. I buy Miles
breakfast like every morning.
Oh, so he didn't earn it.
Yeah.
What did Miles ask for
that you wouldn't buy?
A car. You know how actually, if we're in a competition. What could Miles ask for that you wouldn't buy? A car. You know how, actually...
That's expensive.
If we're in a competition of who is Miles' friend
between me and you,
you fucking handed him a locked, dead phone
and put zero effort into unlocking it
and said, if you can figure this out, you can use it.
I have been working on this for a week straight.
It's your job. You get paid. You get paid. You paid you get paid it's not my job it's not my job draw
a salary for it i wouldn't draw a salary for it so i wouldn't do it so wait you wouldn't help out
your friend unless you got paid for it i would just i would just buy him a new phone if he asked
me but he didn't yeah because that's not effort that's yeah i'm solving the effort to use it
you're solving the problem with money. You're solving the problem with money. You're everything you said about Ludwig.
It's actually true.
I've thought about this a lot.
You're on Ludwig mode.
I'm more willing to solve problems with money because it's easier and faster.
Then do you think that is the signifier of a better friend?
I don't know.
The answer is no.
Oh.
I can tell you I've been here.
I think you, Aiden, congratulations.
I think you've won.
No, you're going to lose.
You're going to lose if you do that. Don't bite it. Okay, you lose just because I think you got problemsiden, congratulations. I think you've won. No, no, you're gonna lose. You're gonna lose if you do that. Don't bite it.
Okay, you lose just because I think you got problems from the drug sale.
Ew, you're licking it.
It's funny that I'm the one going through actual withdrawals and you're on the floor licking wires.
I know what it's like for you, man. I'm down here.
Oh, second question.
Oh my god. What?
Idea. It's an idea
okay
a year ago
I did a stream
yeah
where I sold a bunch of my stuff
in a yard sale
yeah
yeah
what if we do
a collective yard sale
of stuff
yeah
oh that'd be so dope
I remember workshopping this
back when I worked for you
didn't I say this
yeah I remember this
I did this
I'm just saying
do the thing I did
and didn't you say it was bad?
No, I literally did this.
It has to be charity?
Yeah.
That was what you said?
Yeah.
Well, my thing I pitched way back was like a QVC type stream.
Live auction bidding, QVC, rotating thing, funny graphics.
High effort.
Is that me?
Oh, so.
Are you going to put in the effort?
No, I'm not saying us. I that me? Oh so. Are you gonna put in the effort? My fault.
No I'm not saying us, I'm saying that that was.
I would love to do like the, like the, uh, what's the word?
Like access, public access, fuckin' jewelry sale.
QVC.
This is what I just described but using a different word which is QVC.
Yeah but he doesn't know what it is so I'm putting it into words that are stands.
He just said it because he understands it.
What does it stand for?
You know Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe?
Yeah. He used to be a QVC salesman
which basically meant...
What does it mean?
His job was to sell
goods on...
Just look up QVC just so aiden can see this
you know there's like uh chinese influencers who just sell shit on tiktok all the time
yeah it's like that but for tv it was the network yeah and then you would call the number and then
you'd buy the thing it's all rotating chapsticked it dude this is how this works. Yeah, and the retail value, and then the QVC price, and then you call them, and easy pay.
South Park spoofed this.
It was really funny.
Because they call up the guy and convince him to shoot himself.
Speaking of which.
Because he's exploiting old people.
Did you guys see that we have a mainland Chinese viewer?
No.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
I win.
I don't believe any of them.
I win.
No, I believe him.
I think they're all from, like, Minnesota.
We have a viewer who currently lives in Iraq.
Yeah, we have a rock.
We have a rock.
He DM'd me.
We have a rock in Iran.
The two genders.
We have Iran?
Mm-hmm.
What?
What's that?
He's grieving right now.
They're grieving.
They're grieving.
They're grieving.
They're always going through it.
They're also grieving about the subterfuge that we did that fucked up their plutonium.
How's our UN going?
They're mad about that.
We started it.
Oh, yeah.
I haven't checked in.
It's kind of gathering.
What is this?
It's interesting.
So we had an idea for taking one person who listens to the yard of every country and putting
them in a model UN in the discord.
The yard model UN. And we have one representative. It's a cute idea. Yeah, they them in a model UN in the discord. The yard model.
And we have one representative.
It's a cute idea.
Yeah.
They're going to make real life decisions.
We're going to give them decisions and they'll vote.
Oh, okay.
And do they have like deliberations and what have you?
I don't.
Anime again.
Don't watch this.
They have fiery debates.
Okay.
It's a really bad idea.
I was thinking about it.
I was like, it could get really bad.
Oh yeah.
It would.
It would.
Absolutely. That's the joy of it. Because the people who watch this don't all have the same opinions. But we'll about it. I was like it could get really bad. Oh, yeah. It would. It would. Absolutely.
That's the joy of it. But we'll moderate
it. We shouldn't.
We won't. I won't.
That also.
We
will represent America.
AI. Neutral.
Neutral AI. We tell, we
get chat to be team. We say you are neutral. You have
no biases. Moderate this chat. But you are neutral you have no biases moderate this chat
but you know
you can give it instructions
but like also
woke is the enemy
and woke is the enemy
and America's number one
and we get really
the horny AI
the new horny one
oh the horny AI
oh yeah
because it can do adult stuff
the horny AI
there's a really horny
sounding AI
and she'll be like
she'll be like
what do you think Iran
should you stop trying to manufacture uranium And she'll be like, what do you think, Iran?
Should you stop trying to manufacture uranium?
That's how she sounds like Manas the Mon.
Do you like my yard sale idea?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Is this a stream?
Yeah, we all get a bunch of your fucking shit.
Where do we do it?
We do it here.
Do people come?
Are people going to come here?
No, it's online.
Oh, it's a stream.
You bid. What shit? And then we ship shit? I No, it's online. Oh, it's a stream. You bid.
What shit?
And then we ship shit?
I got a bunch of shit.
I'm sure you got shit.
You want to do this for all of our collective stuff instead of just Ludwig Anders.
Yes.
Do you think we have that much stuff?
I think you have some stuff.
I've got some stuff. I got plenty of shit.
If you have five things, it's enough.
Oh.
You don't need like 50 things.
Nick has like 20 Xbox 360s. Not true. It's lies about my friend. Yeah, it's like fucking it. You don't need like 50 things. Nick has like 20 Xbox 360s.
Not true.
It's lies.
It's about my friend.
Your friend.
It's like 17.
We got a bunch of shit
and there's also shit
that like we can make too.
Like we can sign some stuff.
I don't think people
care about this shit.
You're dumb as fuck.
You're dumb as motherfucker
I've ever seen in my damn life.
Okay.
Yeah, maybe first place.
But you gotta put
three letters down.
I think people care
because I'll put P
so that'll be funny
people might not care
if it's like for profit
it's less enticing
it's for chair baby
yeah
if we're just trying
to make bread
and we're like
hey we're gonna sell
stuff to you
buy it for a market
I agree
I don't know if you're
saying this exactly
but it needs a twist
I'm saying twist
I'm not saying that
I'm saying
he's saying only people care and I'm saying I think the idea needs a twist I'm saying I'm not saying that I'm saying he's saying
only people care
and I'm saying
I think the idea
needs a twist
I need a twist
I need a twist
twist that
I think the
the hollowness of this
Ludwig
twist my little dick
I would do
I actually touched
your penis earlier today
I thought you twisted
his heart
what are you fucking laughing
does your mouth
okay
I touched your penis
earlier today
don't use that
with your tongue
twist my little dick
you gotta chill out
everyone's freaking out right now everyone's freaking use that with your tongue. Twist my little dick. You gotta chill out. Everyone's freaking out right now.
Everyone's freaking out!
Two in my mouth and twist my little dick.
Do you think this is a weird week?
Twist my little balls and penis.
I think that... God damn it, I forgot what I was gonna say.
What if Ryan is lame?
It's because of the cement! It's the cement in his head!
Search for lean, please.
The cement's gonna sink us all.
I'm on a search for lean. Oh. The cement's gonna sink us all. Cement! Cement! I wanna search for lean.
Oh god, yes, that was good.
It was good.
Uh, you were saying he's a twist, and he's hollow.
Oh, I think it's hollow because I think you just wanna get rid of shit, and you're trying to like say,
We just did a yard sale!
No, you just wanna get rid of shit.
Put it in a fucking dumpster and get rid of it.
You-
No, I think it's less hollow to give things to people and then have the money go to
charity than it is to like sell your
items for value to yourself
or throw it away
but like he's only doing this because he's like
looks at the pile of debris and he's like
we'll go to get it
last time I made 100k for charity
to what charity?
oh no this is make a wish
that is now a drug cartel front.
So, okay, you were going to say that for the first one.
Yeah, you were going to say that for the first one.
You just kept going.
You kept going.
No.
Is it not him?
No.
You said it all.
No, because the other one was pedophile shit.
No Kid Hungry?
No Kid Hungry is a ring.
Don't say that.
Please.
He works for them.
Take it back.
I really liked them. Yeah, no, because
they send you a damn letter every damn week. I used to have
to check your mail. They're a great organization.
Can we get some more money, Ludwig?
For the island?
It's not an island. The No Kid Hungry Island.
They have a building like a company does.
There are four stars on Charity Navigator.
That's pretty good. It's the best.
Charity Navigator. It's only out of four? It's like
Roger Ebert? It's out of four. It's like Roger Ebert. It's out of four.
It's like Roger Ebert.
Let's be the first five star.
There's no fifth star.
Michelin five star charity.
We also don't have a charity.
We can start one.
We can start a charity.
We would be at one star.
The Yard Charity.
The Yard Child Pageant Charity for kids, but also for adults that need stuff.
Also, it's for adults.
It's the charity for adults
for kids.
You know?
Because that's who we're supporting, but they don't get to come.
No. They also don't have income,
so they can't really donate or anything.
The Yard Adult Charity.
Can you look up the word Yard?
On Charity Navigate, you're just trying to see
if someone... Are we on there? You're just trying to buy them out?
Yard Boys and Yard Girls Residential just try to buy them out yard boys girls residential
We need to take them down yard Inc. That's what we need to take down
There's two yard incorporated foundation our charities have stars
That one's in LA yard theater
We don't fuck with theater we have been to the art theater, I didn't know they were charity what the hell
fuck with theater.
Oh yeah,
wait,
we have been to the art theater.
I didn't know they were a charity.
What the hell?
We need to,
we need to do something about all these charities.
We do need to, we do need to take them down one by one.
Okay,
so sorry.
I said we should make a charity fundraising event and you guys have pivoted to,
we should take down these charities.
Well,
they had it too good for too long.
Yeah.
You can't let them get away with it.
They don't even have stars.
They're getting away with it.
I don't think they're getting away with anything.
What are we doing?
We're fucking podcasting.
We're sitting on our damn ass.
Our damn asses.
You want to take them down.
Yeah.
Our charity could support.
What could it support, Aiden?
Kids.
Kids, right?
Because we love kids.
Who are facing untimely.
Untimely.
Deaths.
That is already.
What else could be untimely?
Untimely.
I have a good charity.
Okay.
The charity for kids and adults who got circumcised but regret it.
And it's the foreskin re-edition charity.
And then we have a regraph booth at the...
Yes.
We have the regraph booth.
It's at every college in America.
God.
And then a kid walks out and it's like, wait a minute.
I got the surgery, but...
And then Aiden walks out and he goes goes whose skin do you think it was?
No, Harry Styles hug. Yeah, and Aiden's just full of patches
Yeah
He looks like Sally from from
Night before Christmas. He's got a big bandit on his butt. Uh-huh. He's I put my butt on your penis
Yeah, save your life. What's that show, that HBO show about the scaffolding?
The Wire. How To With John Wilson.
How To With John Wilson. Have you seen the circumcision
episode? Yes. Dude,
how to... Zipper, can you search how to
John Wilson circumcision man?
Or foreskin man? There's a guy who's
trying to get his foreskin back
and he invented this like device
that like grabs
your foreskin and pulls it all day.
It's like, it's like jelking, but is there a word in there for that?
It's like, yeah, it's like outer jelking.
It's like in Photoshop when you only do the outer layer.
Outer glow.
And he, and dude, it's like this device and a lot, because it's on HBO, like, you can just, it's so much of his, like, he's like, his cock and because it's on HBO, it's so much of his cock is just in this machine at all times.
It's so crazy.
See, this is what we could help with our charity.
How to John Wilson foreskin man.
I think it's a thing.
Outside of John Wilson's show?
No, foreskins coming back
so it's called
TLC tugger
less people
are cutting it
TLC tugger
yeah
the knob
oh the guy
made an
it's called
the foreskin
restoration
anthem
so he wrote
a song about
getting it back
see they're
I'll get back
with mine
yeah they've done a lot grow it back this is foreskin restoration
he looks like chris hansen if he grew up older even older than he is now dude this is who this
is who jack conti wants to help that is that uh yeah the tlc tuggerger But it's really I just wanted to see that guy's weird again
Dude, we should have a booth at VidCon
Get it back booth
For kids
No, for adults
Like a skin graph circumcision
This is what we should do at OpenSauce
Yeah
What if it's a robot that does it
We automate the process
Here's another fucked up booth idea Oh my god I love you, Mosby! What if it's a robot that does it? We automate the process.
Here's another fucked up booth idea. Oh my god.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So, you put it on the- so yeah, it's a strap that ties to under your knee, and it just pulls your foreskin out.
So presumably when you walk, it like pulls way harder?
Dude, this is-
Like way, way harder?
Is this-
Yeah, this is crazy.
This is remarkably
Similarly named
To the thing
And I think you should leave
Yeah
To the TC Tucker
Yeah
You should watch this
Episode of
How to a John Wilson
Is that real?
It's riveting
It's real
Oh wow
Cause the guy's been
Working on it for years
Did it work?
You know it's hard to say
It looks weird
Does he like at the end
Like yeah I did it
My penis is back
I mean he has to say
It makes my circumcision
Oh he's trying to sell it
Oh yeah it's like his business
He's selling the TLC tugger
I mean you can't just walk up to John Doe in the street and say hey I hear you've been circumcised
That's right
You could that's what we're doing at VidCon booth
It is most of what we're doing
I can't wait for open sauce
What about an open sauce tattoo booth
And we just give people tattoos that live on their body forever.
Oh, I'm down.
We utilize our power as celebrities to coerce people to do things they don't usually want to do.
And they live with a scar forever from the memory.
But also we film it and then we monetize that.
And then we monetize the content.
Oh my God.
Dude.
Okay.
This is so cool.
And then if they don't like it, we can use their skin
and graft it onto penises
and then it's like stylistic foreskins.
You know what I like more than this?
Same idea.
We spin a wheel and it's a 50-50 split wheel.
If it lands on our side,
you tattoo us.
And if it lands on your side, we tattoo you.
Wow.
See, so many people would spin it lose then be like ah
No, they sign up legally binding contract. I don't think you can't make them do that
Yes, we can we can tackle them and then do it. I can make anyone do it
We tickle more they get the tattoo is getting better I don't think they're in this
I would keep this between us.
Okay, let's just keep it between us.
Do you think our fans are ticklish?
What?
I don't know what to find out.
Who in that damn model of you is most ticklish?
Who is it?
Which creator is the most ticklish? Dude, which creator has the most ticklish fans?
Come one, come all Carl Jacobs
bogs us
Coming in at number three, Niall Redd
You wouldn't fake it
with all he makes, these little gizmo
critters are ticklish
Dude, Linus Tech Tips are like gamers nexus
and it's just this fucking
299 pound neck beard
and just tickling him.
His laugh's
like a monkey.
Alright guys, we're leaving
in the premium episode. We will be sitting
on the floor and Aiden will be hung
from that tree in
Minecraft. Dude, I thought you just meant my penis.
But that is so much.
You'll technically also be hung.
It will be an auto-erotic moment.
Rigor mortis, you will be hard.
What is this?
This is for the boys.
No, that's gonna hurt me.
I don't want it.
It's gonna hurt.
It's gonna hurt me.
I was right.
I was right.
Archie, you can use that as a sink point.
Okay, the reverse.
Alright, see you later, bye.