The Yard - Ep. 152 - We Swapped Lives For A Day
Episode Date: June 12, 2024This episode, the boys swapped lives! Chaos ensues while the boys try to figure out how to undo their curse... Aiden is played by Nick, Ludwig is played by Slime, Slime is played by Aiden, and Nick is... played by Ludwig.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you are an audio listener, so sorry.
This one's fucked.
This is probably the worst episode for you.
This is probably the worst audio episode.
You know that we switch places.
It's funny.
I am being Nick.
All right. Aiden is being slime. Oh, yeah, we
Being Ludwig and Nick is being aided so that's what's going on. That's what that's what we're doing. It's a little Freaky Friday mix-up
Yeah, well well well
Disrespecting our time once again, let's say What do you have in your fucking mouth right now?
He's getting so, you're getting so big for me.
You're getting so big for me.
Oh, you're so big. I love how big and scrumptious you are.
Your stomach, your stomach's popping out of your shirt.
Oh, wow.
This is what I do.
Wow.
Does Papa want a sip? This is what I do. Does Papa want a sip of this? Oh, a is probably a little pop it. I don't fuck with that
What do you got right there?
What's my sipping on hard-working American? I got my own input your fucking phone away your fucking phone away Aiden
Put the phone the fucking phone down
Put the fucking fire disrespecting my time your disrespecting my time. What is it?
We can go man for man
I like you man
Do you piggy you what is wrong with you? He's oinking
He's oinking.
Ludwig. You're making farm noises.
Ludwig.
You're my little piggy.
Ludwig, what's wrong?
Sorry.
Are we going?
We're going.
We're going.
We're in.
We're here.
We are in.
Get off your phone.
What's up?
What's up?
Welcome.
Welcome to the yard.
What episode are we at, Ludwig?
Welcome to the yard, episode 172.
Okay, it's not right.
It's not 172.
It's not 172.
Far off.
I love being in it.
I don't have to say it.
This is awesome.
For context, we decided to switch places.
Well, what happened is last night,
we decided last minute.
Last night what happened is I kissed Ludwig's beautiful mother
and a weird Freaky Friday incident occurred
and we have switched bodies.
What?
What sound happened during the Freaky Friday thing?
Let me take you back.
I don't do that
And then I went
Oh bonjour
My little cushion
And then here we are
Sorry what?
I made it
I look like the prolapsed anus of a peep
So that's. These are expensive. I'm pissing you by the way. I'm pissing you
Why are you mad? Why are you mad? I fucking I fucking schedule meeting I schedule meeting and this guy doesn't fucking show up Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope while you mad why are you mad? Why are you mad? I fucking schedule a meeting. I fucking schedule a meeting and this guy doesn fucking show up. I'm pissed at Aiden for context everything needs context all the time for context
Gay George Washington
Martha's your beard man, you give give context you to give us both sides
John Adams You guys can't do it. You gotta work on that. That was bad on your part. Get your story out, man. Yeah, get your story out.
Come on, we all wanna hear it.
We wanna hear it.
No, I'm done.
Oh, okay.
Don't be pissy now.
Don't eat more.
Don't eat more.
You guys wanna hear a 45-minute story about the airport?
My friend Ron, back in Colorado
He did set up this
Little explosive device in my mom's kitchen
He always got a huge kick out of it
It's the funniest guy I've ever met
Explosive device in your mom's kitchen
He's got a kid now
He's got a kid now
His wife died of heroin over there
One of my best friends is a suicide bomber. Good guy.
So how do we switch back?
Who do I gotta kiss?
I kinda like this.
Who want me?
I have no incentive to switch back right now.
Do I look all fucked up with my glasses off?
I like the vanilla cream cold brew. You like that shit?
I like this shit.
I'm saying.
That's pretty good.
Hold on, hold on.
A little something for coots.
A little something for coots.
Pop a tax.
Pop a tax.
Pop a tax.
Pop a tax.
Take a drink.
And then.
Because this is how I do it.
This is what I spend
people's time
on a live fucking show. I'm stuffing my fucking fan doing this.
That's why it makes the big bucks.
Hey, million dollar idea for you. I got a million dollar idea for you.
Million dollar! You have a million dollar idea for me.
You have a million dollar idea for me.
Million dollars.
Can you hold on one second?
What the- what?
What are you doing?
I thought about my phone.
It's still there.
Actually, actually, million dollar idea.
You kill yourself for content.
We film it.
That's something he would say.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
A million dollar idea.
Free parking in Los Angeles.
Hey, get this, get this.
So we just pay for everybody's parking.
Okay.
I like that idea a lot.
I think it's a good idea.
It's a great idea.
We should do it.
It's a shit idea.
Million dollars, probably.
It's a shit idea, Nick. No, because it's like we would pay for their parking.
I hate agreeing with him, but he's right.
Wow.
Well, I, and now we've had the sign-off, and I'm right, like I always am.
Interesting.
I like this guy.
Hey, you know what?
I think you should quit hiding, man.
Take off the hat, man.
I'm not hiding.
You won't hang out with me.
Show us what you're working with.
I'm trying to hang out with you.
I hang out with so—I invited you to basketball!
I play basketball all the time for some reason because I saw like probably a YouTube video about basketball
I found out there's a Japanese basketball player
There's a Japanese basketball player
He was really cool so I started playing it
That's also a waste of time
A waste of time? If we had gone one more grade down in the video I would have dusted that kid
It's a fucking stupid sport
So you lost a kid?
So that we didn't go to a young enough kid. So you wanted younger kids?
I need younger kids to beat the Ludwig young kid basketball camp.
I like young boys, I'm in.
Oh I forgot about the danger of this.
It's so easy.
We make the young boy basketball camp for kids.
And it's run by kids and we watch them
Even the coaches are kids when we watch them all we survey them so you watch the kids you watch
The kids watch the kids watch the kids Hawkeye at the kids
Flying down and picking up the kids with my mouth
A little bell giggle
Oh, sweet
I'm funny too
Got my claws on
Watch out, kiddies
You need to put your claws on the kid
Okay
This is what we're fucking doing
Every podcast you come in, I show up five minutes late and you have to freak out.
You have a fucking meltdown.
How do I compare this to politics?
This is like MBS playing Dota.
You gotta do this one.
You gotta do this one.
It is kind of like MBS playing Dota.
This is like Starcraft somehow.
And then I agree. Absolutely.. This is like Starcraft somehow. And I agree.
Absolutely.
It's exactly like Starcraft.
Vlad kind of is the link to everything, right?
Yeah.
He's the one who connects and relates,
and he sees the bizus and the MBSs,
and he ties them into any segment.
You guys know my diet is 95% salmon bagels?
One's fucking munchkins
and elsewise.
You look good.
You look good.
You're a Greek Adonis.
What do you think of this shit?
You're a Greek Adonis.
Oh my god.
You look amazing.
I hate how amazing you look.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Well, son,
I'll be a fucking,
I'll be a son of a bitch.
You let me test that.
Nick, I was wondering,
what are your favorite
music artists
Right now
What kind of songs
Do you like right now
I'm looking for more music
I like
I like Young Turquoise
Young Turquoise
I like Lil Debbie's
Lil Debbie's
Lil Debbie's
Yeah Lil Debbie's
Not to be confused
With the actual Lil Debbie
Lil Debbie's
From the Crayshon video
She's caked up
She's not
She's very skinny
It's kind of close
Lil Debbie's caked up
She's not She's like a hundred pounds Short of close little debbie's caked up she's not
she's like a hundred pounds
how do we
be me for a moment how do we talk i think it's hard to talk i think we should weave in and out
i think because i you know there's stuff i wanted to talk about today as slime who is over there you want to talk about what do you drive for a bit?
I come in here every week tonight, and I Drive
God forbid I don't drive one week, so why don't you drive alone?
And this is what is you fucking cheat you come in checked out every week
You fucking sit there, and you fucking slob through your doughnuts
You fucking sit there and you fucking slob through your donuts.
You look good, though.
No, no.
Loving looks good, man.
You look good, man.
Loving looks good, man.
I like loving, man.
My fucking car got broken into today.
That's who you want to talk about?
Your car got broken into?
No. I don't want to talk about it.
I mean, it sucks.
Just post on Reddit and they'll find it.
Just buy new things, millionaire.
People do tend to find my stuff when I post on reddit. Mm-hmm. I'm coming out
I I was almost died trying to get your stuff last time. I was watching videos about
sushi nigiri last night
And it was
Awesome watching a video of a Japanese man in a room
Just watching him sit there
No I've been talking
You see TV footage of a guy
For context
And all he does is go into his apartment
And you just wait for him to do it
And he watches it for 12 hours
And when he watches it he goes
Sugoi moshi moshi
Bald-san,
please, get a hold of yourself.
For context, my
Japanese teacher is a
sex pest, is an overseas sex pest.
And, um,
but he's really good at teaching me Japanese.
So I'm like,
that's cool, like, whatever. So I talk to him
and he's like, teaching you Japanese?
Japanese?
Banger
You can't just, you can't just fawn at the mirror of yourself all day
It's just greatness, it's just watching greatness work
Sure you got the fatty
Dude I kinda rule
Why do you wanna go to Japan man?
Are you happy?
Can you just be happy with us?
Oh my god.
Wait, actually though, come to Australia.
Come to Australia, Dublin.
Come to Australia.
I can't.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
He doesn't want to spend any time with his friends anymore.
Is it because you hate us?
He doesn't want to spend any time with us.
If it were between me and Michael Reeves and you guys, I would have you decapitated live on the BBC network.
To British television, I would have you decapitated immediately.
Still hurt.
Do you think I'm kidding?
I don't think you're kidding.
That's the problem.
Yeah, I don't.
That's the problem because I just want to be with you.
Because what I...
What do you mean you want to be with me?
I want to live in your skin.
I want to live in your skin. I want to live in there.
I want to be a little critter in your skin crawling around.
I'd suck the skin before I get in.
I'd eat all the bad things off you to live.
And it'd help you live longer.
I just want to watch this episode.
The reason why I like hanging out with Michael Reeves
more than fucking you
is because he doesn't say shit like that to me.
Don't you get it?
He's famous and everyone wants him.
What's wrong with what I'm saying?
I'm a good friend.
You said you wanted to eat the bad things off of my skin.
No.
Nick said that.
Nick said that he would eat the bad things off your skin.
You don't listen to me.
You never listen to us.
I'd be in there eating that up.
I'd eat that up.
You eat the bad shit off my skin? You live forever. I like when he does it. He promises me eternal life. What'd be in there eating that up. I'd eat that up. You eat the bad shit out of my skin?
You live forever.
I like when he does it.
He promises me eternal life.
What do you promise me?
Day one!
It's my road dog over there.
What are you gonna give him?
Final Fantasy VII.
And then play through it.
Wow.
On PlayStation?
Every day.
On PlayStation together like we used to.
My Final Fantasy is just eating that shit off your body.
We never did.
Just forever.
We never did that.
Play Final Fantasy.
What?
On your stream. Document it. We never did that.
Play Final Fantasy on your stream.
Document it.
That was the remake.
You look like the first American to get AIDS.
This is what Nick would say.
Well, I can't go in.
I have a friend named Afghanistan.
Aiden, I don't know why you're on the podcast.
Candidly, what do you bring?
What the fuck are you wearing?
Why are you wearing Acme fucking stitched jean shorts?
I made this out of a quilt.
You robbed it off a British orphan.
How much did that cost?
It was $1,400.
Yeah, it was built
in the 1500s.
I only have $2,000.
You can't talk about
what other people are wearing.
You wear the same shit
every day.
The same dusty ass,
Lulu ass fucking track pants.
You do look like shit
every day.
I look good?
You look bad every day.
I'm filling it out.
I've been hitting the bag.
I hit the bag at 3 a.m.
last night.
I fucking quiet
in my neighborhood. I was awake at 3 a.m. You hit the bag? I walked out and I went and hit the bag hitting the bag. I hit the bag at 3am last night. I fucking quiet in my neighborhood.
I was awake at 3am. I walked out
and I wouldn't hit the bag for a while. I hit the pen.
Want that shit?
Okay. I want some
time out. That was actually
true because I said that in the car to him.
Because I was...
Josh and Miles moved out and I have empty nest
syndrome. But I was like, oh, I can kind of do whatever
I want without disturbing people.
No hoes.
So like,
so we go out.
Hey,
we're paused.
We're paused.
You go back to Ludwig for a moment.
So I go out and I,
I've started playing music and I just started like working out and hitting the
back,
like for like a 30 minute boxing workout at 3am.
And I was like,
if my neighbors see me right now,
like I have like 20 empty water jugs
because I don't know what to do with them.
I look like I'm doomsday prepping
and then just being insane,
just practicing combat outside.
You look like you just got out of a five-year relationship
and you got cheated on by like 70 different men.
That's what I look like.
But if you have 20 jugs
and you're beating the bag at 3 a.m., yes.
That is delete Facebook gym lawyer up type shit.
Yeah, I do look clinically insane. Yes. But yeah that is delete Facebook gym lawyer up type yeah I do I do look clinically insane yes
um well obviously yeah well I mean I'm dressed like you you look like shit okay time at least
you look good you look good for us
I feel like I feel like we shouldn't be able to just disparage each other.
I went to jail for it.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
Time out.
The guy who says time out, guess aside time out.
You can't time in the time out guy.
All right.
That's part of the time out rules.
Okay, so we're timed out.
I feel like when you say, you know, like, for example, time in, I like little babies.
Does it become?
Time out.
That would be bad
Representation of Nick it has to be honest well I agree if he just time in time out
He's myself or we time out again. You're still timed out. Okay, I'm down time in okay
So I'm timing okay, I'm in so like I was saying I knew this guy inital warts. I know, I've been there.
I've been there.
At least you still got your hair though.
At least you still got your looks.
Dude!
Why didn't you take off your hat, bud?
I took such a big shit the other day.
I took such a big shit.
Holy fuck.
Tell me about your shit.
Holy shit.
You have me sending pictures like this.
You look like a terminally ill member of the Kremlin.
You know what would be cool?
You know what you'd be cool?
What?
What?
Okay.
Okay.
If you took the shit and you put it in one of those like glass gel like blocks and you
put it on display.
Like a retired swimmer.
Pause. That's a good idea.
I like that idea. It's his idea.
I know. I think we should do it.
Take one of your shits.
Acrylicly preserve one of my shits.
It wouldn't work. We've talked about this.
And then I eat it.
It's called urine. I took such a big
shit the other day it's my asshole too like a firecracker that's why we got
that that's what that's why you gotta get old all sturdy old dude I was at
dinner with $50 dinner zipper to in mom, and I just showed everyone my full asshole by accident.
By accident?
Yeah.
By accident?
I don't think they would do that.
I was at the dinner, and then I just got on this chair and showed them my full asshole.
That doesn't sound like you.
The inside of my butt and everything in it, too.
In all of it.
That doesn't sound like you.
You're just giving it away now.
Just giving it away now just giving it away
cutie's mad at me
oh yeah
she mad at you
cutie's mad at me
I fucking
I
we were supposed to have
a date night
I'd never be mad at you
I treat you right
that's what you would say
you have to
want to fuck him more
time out
you have to want to
fuck him more
yeah time out
you need to be
sore sexual
about him and his body
in fact
how about we. Let's maybe
Some notes okay. Oh, can I get some feedback um?
Cuz I feel like I'm killing it can you be more clever?
Mmm. You know I could be like more on the nose if you that's what you mean no like more obvious like less obvious more clever
Okay, that's it. That's your only note?
That's it.
Doing good. Any notes for me?
You don't look
good right now.
I can't look like you.
I had to go to a party and get an Elsa wig.
It was the closest thing.
It is not an Elsa wig.
The closest was Elsa's hair?
Yeah, cut it.
That is the exact wig Lin-Manuel Miranda used when he did Hamlet.
It came braided, and then me and Zipper were looking, I'm cutting it,
and we said, someone braided this for a bowl of porridge.
Definitely a machine that braided it.
No.
Yeah, it's not a hand.
Children aren't machines.
Don't talk about them that way.
You genuinely think you bought a hand-sewn wig?
Hand-braided.
What year do you think you live in?
The beautiful year of our Lord, 2024.
Do you have notes for slime?
Oh, you gotta just fucking...
You gotta just be more annoying.
Like, yeah.
I think you're not getting irrationally angry enough.
And not calling out random people enough.
Okay, I appreciate it. You're right. And you don't want to fuck that angry enough. And not calling out random people enough.
You're right.
And you don't want to fuck that guy enough.
You start calling people out. You want to fuck this guy.
You have to hate all creators.
You have to have this chip on your shoulder.
You have to feel like your friendship with this guy
is fading by the day.
I feel like I've been representing that.
But you need to turn it up.
You need to make a public death threat to a person that we kind of know
Right
Any notes for me?
Mmm
Yes
Papa's in
No
I'm really- I'm really amazed by how you matched his breath work
You think so?
Yeah
Yeah, that's his- that's his-
Cause when he'll just come in here and just be eating munchkins like a fucking wet animal
Yeah, like he'll just kinda weave through it Any time he says something slightly funny, go, you're funny, man.
You were being funny yesterday.
You are funny.
He got so upset because he was being really funny yesterday.
I'm like, you're fucking funny.
And he's like, and he said it on the way out.
And you know why?
Okay, so I'm like way back because we were doing that shoot thing.
And I'm way back in the warehouse behind like this mountain of trash that belongs to ludwig and he's about to leave and i'm like
bye ludwig and he's like where are you man and i just shout i'm in your head ludwig
and he instantly he's just like oh will you be here forever and it was really funny and so i
just said you're really funny man and then he kind of sadly defeated says
every time you say that it's like you're saying it like you didn't know that he says it like new
found information he does say it like nobody's really pointing out he's saying today you had
the energy to be as funny as i know you can be yes then say that that's what's beautiful i'm not
that's all too many words for you it's too many words for you and I'm busy thinking that.
That up is one of my notes.
Should he got the.
Maybe hit the note a little cleaner.
Dude, I just don't have the mass.
Also, if you are an audio listener, so sorry.
This one's fucked.
You're going to have to.
This is probably the worst episode for you.
This is probably the worst audio episode.
If you know that we switch places, it's funny.
I am.
I am being Nick.
All right.
Aiden is being Slime.
Oh, yeah.
We haven't said who.
Slime is being Ludwig
And Nick is being Aiden
So that's what's going on
We'll put that at the beginning
That's what
That's what we're doing
It's a little Freaky Friday mix up
We've smooched each other's moms
And if you want a regular ass episode
I think we had our greatest primo ever
You really think that?
No I just said it
To sell it
Why the fuck would you challenge me?
Because I thought it was really good too
I thought you were
It was really good
No yeah it was really good
Honestly I meant that
Dude that's so sad I meant it But you didn't mean I thought it was really good. Yeah, it was really good. Honestly, I meant that dude That's so sad
The apology robot is here that works most of the time sorry for posting cringe. My batteries are dying. Happiness powering down.
What do you think Aiden can do better?
Oh, he's back.
Yeah, yes.
I didn't get any tips.
I gave you so many.
He gave you so many.
I think you need to piss off slime more.
And be a little funnier.
Nah.
I think that's it.
I think I'm doing all right.
I think some people might think that, but for sure.
How's Aiden doing, guys?
Aiden's, he's going to wake up.
He's going to tap in.
You got to lock in a little bit.
Pay attention.
You got to lock in.
I got to wake up as Aiden?
Yeah.
You got to pick a week.
You got to be an Aiden clocked in week.
Aiden's got five minutes of brilliance every episode, and I haven't seen him.
All you did is say, you say, I am a pedophile.
No, he said, I have a friend named Afghanistan.
That was top five Aiden moments.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Dude, at the end of the year when we make our compilations, like, best Aiden moments.
Like, four of them for me.
That's fucked.
That's done.
Come on, dude.
Guys are doing it dirty.
That's fucked. That's fucked.
How could I be more like Aiden in the- when I'm not just making fun of Aiden?
Um...
No, this is the job.
You gotta be- you gotta open up Love Wig more.
I could cry. That's what it is.
If you did that, that'd be hype.
You do have to get mad at me more, cause you interact with me the most.
Yeah.
Let me see if I can get there.
Get pistol-oriented.
You can't get there.
It's so hard.
You can also argue with me.
Yeah, argue with him.
He's ready to argue with anyone at any time.
Yeah.
Except Nick.
Nick kind of is evasive.
Nick is very good at ducking and weaving.
Ooh, Shag and Kobe.
It's not really like that.
It's a new initiative in my life.
Not fighting?
Mm-hmm.
Not?
No, not not fighting.
How do you do this all the time?
We're so...
Not being defensive.
We're so timed out.
Did you guys get my message?
No.
Yeah.
You didn't check?
It was an important message.
Was it during my meeting?
No, it was at fucking 4 a.m.
God, I hope not.
I texted you.
Did you look?
I was asleep.
Did you...
Yeah, but you don't look at your fucking phone?
It's important. It's really important to it in the mic me me me me me me me. It's good
It's really important okay. I don't remember this. We're just like a big update. You didn't get one
Oh, I didn't get one. It was directly to me or was in the group chat knows right?
Text it was right it was i texted it to you damn animal text it was it was important because when you want to reach someone you message them directly
el texto
dude dude dude x is the everything app
that was at 3 14 yeah that was at 3 14 you AM. Yeah. That was at 3.14.
You said X is the everything app.
The everything app.
You mean like there's videos on there?
There's posts?
There's posts.
Yeah.
No, he's got both.
You can find report.
You can even, sometimes if the file's small enough, you can upload a file.
And if you find like a thread of like something you like, then you can find something totally
new in the thread.
In the thread.
Something totally different.
New thing now.
New thing time.
I had a mental breakdown at 4 a.m.
This is after boxing?
Yeah.
You're a disheveled piece of shit.
I'm not disheveled.
Look at you.
I look good.
I don't have to say you look good until time in
4am
and I sent you guys messages that are important
and sent it to Nick
well cause he's already on the everything app
cause he already knows X is the everything app
why are you so sold into this too
he sent you one message and all of a sudden
you're like paw committed to the everything app
cause he wouldn't message me
your friend wouldn't text you at 4 in the morning
If it wasn't important and the message said he get it said it's important dude
It's X is the everything was it a voice memo to yeah, but
Wait
My question to you wait it's just they're in here it's in it's only for your ears only
my question to you
I don't think it works
I think
is it the same message
or is it
no I
it was custom tailored to Aiden
no it still
keeps going
you re-recorded it twice
that's insane
just turn the bluetooth off
just turn the bluetooth off
I don't think it's that key
well you know what
dude you have to listen to me.
Listen.
What place on the top?
It's important, dude.
X is the everything app.
Dude, you need a fucking sleep schedule.
You need to go to bed at like 2 or 12.
You're delivering it well.
You could post your X videos on X.
Your X videos, your X posts.
You can even read the news. If I started posting my dilly on X. Your X videos, your X posts. You can even read the news.
If I started posting my dilly
on X.com. Who said anything about
dillies? Can I finish my sentence?
Dilly is a good word. If I started posting
it, hog and all on X,
how long, new account,
until someone finds it?
Finds it? You mean like finds out it's your penis?
Or like raw new account? Is your face
in the photos
I'm stood up straight
Okay, but if there's your chest hole it narrows it down crazy full body and face and I'm going
This account with no followers and my penis is out. Mmm. Do you have to you'd have to have a way of?
of
Probably like posting it without ever scrolling
I feel like if you scroll it gets information of what you like,
and then it's like likely to push you
in some form or fashion.
And then it feeds it to other people.
People wouldn't believe it's you.
People would be like,
oh, this is like a weird, like cringe AI.
Like Markiplier's penis.
I think it's AI.
What about it?
Markiplier's penis AI?
Was that fake?
Did he not OnlyFans it up for real?
No, there was an OnlyFans,
but that was like-
I fucking hate that guy.
I fucking hate Markiplier.
No, we're paused.
We're timed out. You like him probably. No fucking hate him. No, we're timed out.
You like him, probably.
You'd hang out with him.
Have a great time.
Markiplier, I think he did an OnlyFans for like...
It was like a lewd one.
It was like for charity or something.
I forget what.
But this is irrelevant.
Just like a butt plug.
There was like a TikTok filter.
And when you use the filter,
it would like start off with with I want to say it was
like the Duolingo owl or some shit and then it would have a frame of Markiplier AI penis out
and then it'd go back to the little owl doing a dance and so then people would use the filter
and they'd be like oh I just saw the Markiplier filter and it would just be his penis. But it's not his penis. No, it was the...
It's an AI penis.
It's an unethical penis.
So nudity on TikTok?
Yeah, on the...
It might have been on CapCut, but it was with this filter,
this transition thing.
You know what I don't like about the idea of someone making an AI penis
of my penis is that the hands would be different.
You don't mind the penis being different?
Well, my penis is hands.
My hand gripped the whole thing.
With the sixth...
You see the sixth finger on my penis.
Do you have hair on your penis too?
Do you want to see?
I've seen.
You're asking if he has hair on his penis?
Do you have hair on your penis?
Of course I have hair on my penis.
He's a fucking idiot.
Does everyone have hair on their penis?
Besides like...
Do you have no hair on your penis? I have no
hair on it. That's not true. Wait, on the
shaft? No, I don't have it on it.
Mine goes up pretty far. How high?
Dude, it gets like- There's one guy
who's like trying to get to the top.
He's got like a 14-inch beard.
He's got the little Instagram
rake for bringing your beard in. He's like-
You have no hair on your penis.
I'm on it. Hold on. Ludwig has no hair on your penis
time in why don't you pop those little
shorts off
why don't you pop those little shorts off
you should get the peter inside of you
Ludwig does this a lot
he rolls his eyes and does this a lot
alright alright
I'll pop them off
I think this is a good poll for our viewers.
If you have a penis, if you happen to be a human being with a penis,
how high does the hair go up onto your shit?
Let's see who's got the record for the highest hair.
I, Aiden McCaig, have a hair on my penis that is close to the top of my foreskin.
Whoa, really?
Yeah.
What?
That's a mole.
That's like you have cancer.
No, it's just a hair.
I'm pretty sure if it's that high, it's like a cancerous hair.
No, it's not.
I have a birthmark on my penis.
Isn't that funny?
Has that been there the whole time?
The whole time since I've been a little funny.
It's got to be on the underside.
We got to close the look on the left.
It is on the underside.
Because you remember.
I think you got to cut off the tip, Aiden.
Are you looking?
Remember burned memories of Hazy. You remember I think you got to cut off the tip it remember looking remember
memories hazy how
Shouldn't ask how what much of your penis could you cut off to still come mmm all of it no you need
Dumbest fucking thing why anyone's ever said that's really doesn't make sense
God I come with a full chair. How do women cum? You can cut off most of the penis.
You said all of it. The prostate, yeah. If you cut off all of your penis, the prostate.
You saw the prostate orgasm? I didn't say an orgasm, I said cum.
No, you can, you cum still. Yeah. Something's coming out of what?
Coming out of what? Out of the hole.
There's still a hole there.
Mine would regenerate like a lizard's tail.
Talking about like a tree.
Or like Godzilla.
It's got a salamander fin.
Don't you get it?
I don't think that's right.
Imagine, imagine, I want you to imagine
chopped off, but there's still a hole
Hamburger hot dog style.
Why would you still a hamburger
Don't stop stop I'm thinking questions. Oh, I'm sorry that a nice
Sorry, we shouldn't make a podcast where you ask questions make it
You make a dog
Time in I've been smelling my smugma recently. It's not bad. Dude.
Dude.
Time out.
I definitely thought today
about how he eats
his boogers still.
Like I thought
about that.
I was like
because we were
driving getting poke.
I'm no shit.
We were just like
driving and I'm like
the guy next to me
right now.
To this day.
I don't feel like that.
That's so fun.
That is so fun. Do it. So fun. When's the last time? This week. What? I'm like the guy next to me right now to this day that's so fucked that he didn't even do it
this week
that's crazy
this week
can't a man live
that's tough
this podcast is fucked
you eat your boogers you're bald that's tough. If we're timing, this podcast is fucked, okay? You eat your fucking, you eat your boogers.
You're bald.
That's disgusting.
You eat your boogers.
I want to stop.
I just want you.
He wants to eat that.
He does look kind of good.
You talk.
You just, I like his new hair.
I do do this to Ludwig.
I will just touch his feet with my feet.
But he always just.
Aiden wants a piece.
Unless he's mad at me,
Ludwig will be like, he'll pull away.
And it's like, oh, not yet.
Not today, not yet.
It's very funny.
You stop pulling away from me.
Stop pulling away.
What can you tell me?
I don't want to fuck you.
What can you tell me?
I don't want to fuck you.
Stop touching me. You'll fuck me one day. You to fuck you. What can you tell me? I don't want to fuck you. Stop touching me.
I don't want to touch you.
You'll fuck me one day.
When we're 50.
I will never have sex with you.
55.
Okay, okay.
Wait, wait, wait.
The whole entire population dies slowly.
No one left.
Or you fuck slime.
I obviously just jump into some sort of lake and I die.
You don't. Everyone else dies along with you. He doesn't mean that. So wait, okay. I obviously just jump into like a some sort of lake and I died I bet everyone
else ties along with you he doesn't mean that so wait okay I have to fuck slime
to save the population population all of all the humans and the monkeys cuz I'm
so good and the monkeys you know he likes my the monkeys are gonna be so
they're gonna he likes monkeys I don't like monkeys what do I like and the
Japanese people
and the Japanese people the Japanese population
will be wiped out
it's the city of Nice
the city of Nice
and the entire
Japanese population
the entire Japanese population
will be
and you wouldn't fuck me
or you have to fuck them
you wouldn't look me
in the eye
it's everyone
you have to look me
you have to look me
in the eye
you have to look me
in the eye
when you do it
I have to look him
in the eye
and do butt missionary you don't have to look him in the eyes we can do it whatever way you want you don't have to look him in the eyes? You have to look me in the eye when you do it? I have to look him in the eye and do butt missionary?
You don't have to look him in the eyes.
We can do it whatever way you want.
You don't have to look him in the eyes.
I don't have to look him in the eyes.
And I don't have to do butt missionary.
A little bit.
Fuck, I hate this.
You do it, Sykuno, you do it in a minute.
You sick fuck.
Sykuno, you look him in the you sick fuck Sykuno you look at me
and you'd fuck him? Of course I'd look at me
and I'd be fucking handsome and beautiful
and he's popular
and that's the only kind of person that gets my
fucking dick in the mud
Slime don't uh
don't hit me bareback
guys I think I'm
I think I'm feeling emotional.
What is it, Aiden?
You have to get mad at this.
You have to start internally freaking out.
What is it, Aiden?
You cannot cry right now.
No.
You cannot cry.
It's okay, bud.
I don't know.
On the show.
No, it's okay, man.
You can't do this again.
I thought about a dog.
It's okay, man.
The cry about that three I hit on you?
Whoa. You keep coming back to this whole crying thing? I thought about a dog okay man the cry about that three I hit on you whoa
you keep coming back
to this whole crying thing
Sykuno getting fucked
by Ludwig
should not make you cry
you cry over so much
I just
tomahawk crap
should work
that's okay man
but we just live together
it's the only reason
yeah
I
look I
I always love you
and I always care about you
and this is something
that I know
can eventually be edited
so I'm not freaking out and you I always care about you and this is something that I know can eventually be edited so I'm not freaking out. And you don't care about me.
Okay, time out.
That was too far.
Oh, this shit is good though.
Right? It's not.
This shit is bad.
That's the first time I've ever actually cried a little bit.
He genuinely said to me,
this is the most mad
I've ever been at you.
Which I don't think is true,
but I definitely can say top five
because I didn't get him donkeys.
That's the most mad
you've ever been at him?
Number one's the dishes.
The dishes, sure.
I was there.
But,
Oh my god.
I was there for that war.
That was raw.
Vietnam.
Dude,
I watched that argument
from my room like a kid
watching his parents argue their divorce
like I looked through the crack and I watched
you walk up the stairs and argue
number two
is mogul money
what?
the walkout
what the fuck are you talking about?
you walked out we were doing mogul money
it was you and Nick against Aatrox and Stance.
The Riddler of Mogul Money.
Oh, yeah.
Twitch Jeopardy.
Oh, Twitch Jeopardy.
Old time, old time.
I was on that.
Get the fuck back, dude.
Oh, dude.
I've never seen the tone.
Get the fuck back in there right now.
Dude, it was like life or death.
That was crazy.
Is it worth it?
Your career was on the line.
That's what I'm saying.
We wouldn't be here right now.
If I didn't get my ass back in that fucking...
If you didn't get your ass back in that room, you could never be here.
If Ludwig ever gets back in that room, we are not here.
You know what's funny? Is me today, I would have
played it up so good and I wouldn't have
left the show. I would have made it so fun.
And that's something you change in me.
Much like Nick would think.
I wouldn't walk. I'd do
whatever it'd take to make it more fun. Back then, you were principled beyond measure. Yeah. You would think. Oh, you wouldn't walk. The wild whale. I wouldn't walk. I'd do whatever it'd take to make it more fun.
Back then, you were principled beyond measure.
Yeah.
You would leave.
My old bot, Ken Chen, once told me, he's like,
you have a very strong sense of justice.
But he said it with a look of disgust on his face.
I remember that.
I remember that.
It's because you seek justice.
Like how the Joker would say to Batman.
Yeah.
I feel like you seek justice for stuff that doesn't matter. It's because you seek justice. Like how the Joker would say to Batman. Yeah. I feel like you seek justice for stuff that doesn't matter.
It's trivial.
It's not trivial to me, bitch.
I know.
I know.
That's what I mean, but in the grand scheme, it is.
Like, in your life, you won't even remember the things that you...
That's not true.
I remember every fight.
He'll hang on to them.
I guess that's true.
He will.
I think he won't remember a 20-reply text thread about fucking Chainsaw Man.
I remember usernames.
Because time in,
I will.
Not that I like,
think about them actively,
but if I come across it,
it's like,
oh, you've been,
you've been etched,
you know?
Zipper,
I sent you a video.
Maybe there's a power in that for the trolls,
but that's okay.
To your brain code.
You know what else you do?
You do the,
do I?
You twist your feet.
I have dancer's arches.
Yeah, you do that.
This is something
Ludwig doesn't have.
You do a lot of stuff
with your feet.
Like, walk on your toes and point your toes around the we do a lot of stuff with your feet like walk on your toes
And point your toes around the room and a lot of stuff
Mostly toast I was a toast of yeah
What if I could point West at any moment with my feet but you just have an inherent understanding of what direction is
Amazing you'd like that 500 years ago you'd be a legend like stick it up, and then it turns around like a weather vane.
Actually, when did they invent the compass?
The compass?
Hot.
Like, a long time ago.
Take a stab, bitch.
Long time ago.
Take a stab.
We do have a zipper to use.
Boom.
1710.
That's a long time ago to you.
No, we needed magnets for compasses.
Wait, when the compass was invented?
Lock it in.
Compass invented.
I bet we made magnets a long ass time ago. No, we don't. Or were we using the stars? No, we needed magnets for compasses. Wait, when the compass was invented? No, he says 1710, lock it in. Compass invented. I bet we made magnets a long ass time ago.
No, we don't.
Or were we using the stars?
No, we don't.
We were using the stars and the sun, the stars.
The stars.
Do you need a magnet for...
Sorry, this is...
Yes, dumb bastard.
Wait, pause this for a moment.
Pause, we'll come back, we'll come back.
Weren't the original compasses just a thin sheet of metal
responding to the gravity of the Earth?
Yeah.
Give a guess, blood.
The magnetic field.
The magnetic field, the earth.
That's why I think it's a long time ago.
1709.
Kill yourself.
This is a video from the era of the argument.
Cutie sent it to me the other day.
I just thought it was really funny.
She's been sending old stuff.
It's been very cute.
I look at my paws, dude's been very cute. I look...
Wait, pause, dude. Oh my god.
Ludwig with the biggest stomach
he's ever had. Slime
also looking bigger than he
does now, and he's just chanting
bean, bean, bean as Ludwig
makes coffee for the both of them.
This is what I got into. I'm gonna be honest with you,
your hair is so shaggy
from the back that I thought that was Josh.
Yeah.
I actually just thought that was Josh.
I mean, his posture.
You look like Caveman.
No, I remember.
You're like smiling like, yeah, that's bad.
This is 2020.
This is right when COVID hit, when I started to learn about pour overs.
Yeah, I miss your pour over phase.
This is a fun house.
I would actually be like,
Hey, Dylan gonna get some pourover me?
And then every time I make one,
Nick would just look over with such contempt.
Dude, he's going the wrong way.
He's not agitating the grinds.
You know what I mean?
Time in.
I'm a little cook.
Time out.
I can't retaliate.
I can only be him.
Yeah, you can only be him.
Yeah.
But it's fun because you can be like,
Time in.
I am a convicted from the state of California pedophile and you can look be him yeah but it's fun because you can be like time in I am a convicted from the state of California
pedophile
and you can look up my record
you can look up the amount of time
I served in prison
for doing awful shit
and I'd still stand by you Ludwig
and you'd never
I'd rather die
I'd rather die
you'd never return it Ludwig
that's what I've always hated about
I'd go down with you
time out
time out
please time out please Please, time out.
Please, God.
Isn't it-
Isn't it annoying?
Not actually.
Isn't it a lot?
It's a lot, man.
I like it.
Cause I like Aiden.
Cause it sucks her soft for me, man!
Sucks soft.
You know what pisses me off about Aiden?
He keeps touching you.
What?
He's afraid to die.
What?
He's afraid to die and pisses-
Wait.
Real Aiden.
Pisses me off.
Are you time out or time in?
Time out.
It's time out right now. Okay. So you're just mad at Aiden? Yeah! For being afraid to die and pisses wait really didn't piss me off time out of time in time out right now
Okay, so you're just mad at Aiden. Yeah for being afraid you don't like that. He's afraid to die
Not six like so afraid to die
Also fear this yeah, but like not as much as him okay, but like shouldn't that make you feel better then no
So you want to fear the most of us? No, I think that he is too scared of it
So you wanted to fear less than you are we done
Oh, it's like holy shit. That's fast sure you got the
Wait wait, I can just get invented when it comes get invented year go oh
1738
I like that
Imma go, Imma go, Imma go 1699
So this doesn't matter
Okay, fucking
Well now we're fucked
Yeah, we're fucked
We can't really fude fucking rules
Run it!
It's between you two
I also can't read right now so you guys need to help me out
Oh my god
Zipper, when did the compass drop?
206 BC? Thank god That's crazy 206 BC So you guys need to help me out. Oh my god. When did the compass drop?
206 BC
We're like stupid that's actually the Roman Republic. Oh, no, it was only adopted for navigational purposes during the 11th century
So we're not that far off we're still really Chinese during the Han dynasty I think it's more like
they they were like oh shit this is spinning around dude cool who reads
would go hard in the Roman Empire dude. Dude, you read about Sparta.
It's funny.
There's like, it doesn't matter.
Time in.
Time in.
I was watching this four-hour YouTube video.
Spartans had Uber Eats.
And I looked at the screen the whole time and watched all of it.
And I was just sleeping.
I was next to my space here.
Next to my space here. I was watching this video.
It's crazy what they were doing back then.
Time out.
I have a weighted heated blanket now
Meeting the allegations no
I've accepted it should get the stim chair. What the fuck is that? Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I haven't one of them put intern
It's a stimmy chair does it fucking sit in it and you just the natural weight of your body makes you spin in a circle when you're in it?
I don't like that at all
No, cuz I cuz this happens in my chair at home because I it's like slightly uneven
So, you know when you're kind of uneven it'll like just you slide toward it
We're not even timed in! Is it a nice?
Is it a nice?
This coffee sucks.
This is the last episode. That's why I only drink Red Bull.
Who? Me? No, Duncan!
Dude!
Shawty got the fatty.
I wanted to do it.
This is bad coffee.
We could go Ben for Ben. Fuck that.
We could go M for M.
It's not this bad. I want you to know that thank you. I appreciate that. I feel like they're funnier quips
Yo! This is what he does, he goes like this, he goes
Yeah
It does look, it looks like
he's just looking at the sun
I think about Brittany Broski calling you the alien
from Star Wars like every day
That was really funny
Yeah dude she got my ass, okay?
It was so spot on, it was crazy
She got all our asses
Dude her fans, have you guys looked at the comments on that video?
Yeah, her fans light you guys looked at the comments on that video they really didn't like us
her fans light us up
well some did
but I think some liked it
but I think she
some liked it
look she cooked us
in the marketplace of ideas
when we asked her
hey how could we
appeal more to women
and then she said
get a woman co-host
and we all went
yeah
well we already have one
we all suck
we all suck
air through our teeth
it's so
it's just so on point.
I had to make that face to figure out what it was.
I had to do that.
Oh my god, dude.
That's me on set.
You're looking at the starship.
Gimme a munch.
Gimme a fuckin' munchkin. You wanna munch? Yes!
You gotta say time out. Time out, gimme a fuckin' munch. Give me fucking munchkins. You want a munchkin? Yes! You gotta say time out. Time out, give me fucking munchkins.
I need it. I need it.
Are we timed in or timed out?
Okay, there's a couple so I wanna make a shot.
I wanna make a shot. No!
I said blueberry. Wait, what is it? I've only got three.
I don't think one of them's a blueberry. Let me look.
What is it? There are two, I think three chocolate ones
that are munchkins. Give me a Timbit.
Give me a Timmy. Fucking God.
Everyone gets one. Everyone gets one.
Dude, you took french fries out at school.
What do you think is going to happen?
Give me a Timbit.
I want to make this.
Split it.
Split it.
Split it.
Split it.
Split it.
Shut the fuck up.
No way.
Bro, don't throw it over him.
Now it's in the dirt.
You want a new one?
You want a fresh one?
No.
This is fine.
Can I get the sip of your drinky?
What is it? Give me a sip of his drinky. Uh huh. Dude, you're so needy.
I hate this.
Now I'm really Aiden.
Eating on the podcast.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Gimme- give me the-
Uhhh...
This little- this little thing we got.
This little thing we've done.
You did?
This little pot-
Oh my god, this is water.
Uh, you gotta mix it around cause the iced coffee has made water on the top layer.
Do you understand?
No, this is literally just-
There's no- there's no coffee.
It's g-
Oh my god.
He's so fucking neat. Time in. I'm needy.
The place we- the place we go to today?
I've had sex- I've had sex with a retired woman.
Um hum hum. Um hum hum.
I've- I've never changed.
You know that?
You've changed. You've changed. You've changed.
You've changed.
You've changed.
I've changed, bro.
I've never changed.
I see the appeal now, bro.
Look at this.
Aiden is the coolest member of our podcast, by far.
He does what he wants.
Right?
Doesn't this make sense?
That's what I'm starting to think. Yeah, you guys always make fun of me.
No, not Aiden, dude.
Who he's playing. No, no, no. I was saying Aiden.
What? You look like you're about to say
something, Slime. We can hang out right after
this. What? Me and you. One on
one. We don't even need, we don't
need to bring him. Not something I would say.
We don't need to bring Aiden.
You can come. Like that guy.
I am not hanging out with you in person wait wait wait
is this time in oh we're timing i am not hanging out with you in person i'm a road dog why are you
worried about hanging out with me in person why don't we just hang out what's wrong why don't we
hang out one-on-one pause i want to listen to what he says wait uh because i make time. I make time to hang out
with you guys all the time
and you just want to
sit in your room
and lay on the floor
and be a fucking
child animal.
It's because my home
feels secure
and safe
and I don't want to leave it.
And you can come over
and you've never come over.
You've never been to my house once.
Wow, that's true.
You've never invited me.
You know what's true?
You've never invited me.
No, I told you I want you to come to my place as my birthday gift, and you never came.
Yeah, because I don't.
Wait, am I Ludwig?
Yes, I'm Ludwig.
I didn't do that because I forgot.
And I was playing with my cat.
Yeah, whatever.
I forgive everything you've ever done to me, and I love you unconditionally. You love that cat, too. I have no doubt. You love that cat. Yeah, whatever. I forgive everything you've ever done to me, and I love you unconditionally. You love that.
You love that cat, too. I have no dog.
You love that cat.
You do love that cat.
How's Coots been lately?
Balls deep in that cat.
How's she doing?
Good, dude.
What's up with that cat lately?
Spayed her yourself. Took it out.
I had a doctor do it. Is that what you call it now? You spit it yourself, took it out. I had a doctor do it.
Is that what you call it now? You call it your doctor?
Little thing downstairs? Little meat calling your doctor?
I don't fuck my cat!
Your nasty little shit? Your nasty little shit got a degree?
Little doctor's coming out for a checkup.
What did Aiden say during this bit? I wanna be me so bad.
You just spent three years of medical school year last year, little shit.
Look at how relaxed he is.
I cashed it so so so so.
The doctor got a lot of student loans, but a lot of work to do.
He's also dual fisting. How's he gonna pay it off, does it know?
Doesn't know.
I spent a lot of time on that cat, not worried about money.
Ludwig has an easy job here. All he does is just be like,
I don't fuck my cat!
You think that?
Time out. This job is way easier because I just
say fucking lies
libel
slander
slander
slander I don't think that's true
because okay here's
the thing Nick plays single player mode
he it could literally be
three owl statues that look vaguely
like us
that you can play the song of soaring at, and he
would functionally be the same. No.
Yeah, that's true. No, because I
don't exist without you guys. I react.
He's like a parrot. He would need the audio.
Yeah, I'm like a parrot. Except when the
parrot says it, we all clap because it's better when the parrot
says it.
Because he's an animal. He should be talking.
Yep. I can't use Gookamander. Oh, Gookamander? should be talking Yep I can't use
Goo Commander
Oh Goo Commander
Yep
Nick and I
Can do it well
I don't know why
It's hard for other people
You just put saliva
On the sides of your mouth
You got any big ideas for me?
Big ideas?
What can we do?
What can I show you?
Big idea
Big idea
You uh
Uninstall OBS
From your computer
That's not very helpful.
That's not helpful.
Well, I just want a big idea.
More like IBS the way I be shitting.
I gotta get back on it.
I don't know what you're doing.
Come on, man.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. come on. Come on. I'm going to get back on the-I'm I had to do a whole episode of not saying something like that.
It's so hard.
I'm going to get back on it.
Because I'm the GOAT.
I've never, no one's ever done it like me.
You're the GOAT.
No one's ever done it like me.
You said that to me.
I think you should, here's the issue.
You should stream every day for a month.
And any time someone says some fuck-ass shit to you,
you should just sit there and take it like a nasty little cuck.
You go to high schools around the country and
you've got to put on condoms.
Why is this your own
joke?
I'm learning a lot about
what Ludwig thinks
my one-dimensional sense of humor is.
It's not,
by the way.
my one-dimensional sense of humor is.
It's not,
by the way.
Okay,
time in. So you want me to go to every high school across the country and just put condoms
on bananas on livestream?
Do something valuable with your platform.
No, no, no.
This guy's fucking cooking.
How do I be aided?
That's tough.
I'm such a complex individual.
You know what I hate, Ludwig?
What is it, Slime? What do you hate?
You know what I hate? What, dude?
When I'm beating my little shit.
Okay.
And I'm using my phone data.
Right. And sometimes I do it for a long time. You have a goon sesh. I'm using my phone data Right And sometimes I do it for a long time
You have a goon session
Two hands on it
Two hands on it
And you got the little tripod
That vloggers use
You know because you're usually there
You're fracking on my mobile
Well son I gotta wait for you to save some money
On your little goon session
Wait why am I there?
Why am I there?
You're usually there.
When you guys are doing your thing better, I think you guys should keep doing that because I think that's good.
But I think you should do it with the 100% way to save money, which is using Mint Mobile.
Yeah.
I would also agree that it would cost a lot of data.
The sessions that you put in, I see the spreadsheet.
Record breaking. What about Mint Mobile makes it better? It would cost a lot of data. The sessions that you put in, I see the spreadsheet. Record-breaking.
What about Mint Mobile makes it better?
That's a good question.
They offer premium wireless for just $15.
Whoa.
That's not a lot of bucks.
Wait, so yeah, that makes sense.
Unlimited talk and text plus high-speed data,
which is the important part here
for this particular use case,
delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
That actually makes a lot of sense. You can also be be fast you can make a plan with your family or just
the people that you like work like i don't know do that thing you do with family yeah you guys
could be family like i don't know if there's like a group of you that do this all together
like your guner family my guner family is just me and ludwig if you're all sitting on the discord
together and you wanted to use my mobile together you could save some money using the family plans.
Keep our phones, keep our numbers,
enjoy quality wireless plans for $15 a month, Ludwig.
Yeah, that's true.
Slime.
You just don't really sacrifice anything
and it just costs so much less
than another phone plan that you probably already have.
So if you want to get this going,
go to mintmobile.com slash the yard wait
You look like a homeless magician
I can't read the screen
45
Okay the 45 in okay 45 in it just really doesn't do it
I can't do it so fucking bad the tax
aid and uh this is embarrassing 45 up
front payment required.
Dude you drive a car.
Sound out the words.
Equivalent to $15 a month.
Keep sounding them out.
New customers on first three months.
Plan only.
I know blood was sweating when popcorn reading came up.
Speeds lower above. Well it can't be slower than this. 40 gigabytes 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan
Additional taxes fees and restrictions apply. See it mint mobile
for details
Heartwarming this man this grown man reads his first message for the first now Aiden's gonna say something that he likes
What would that say well now would send the wealthy kids to the countryside
Actually carry that damn you're fucked you can't see see you guys. When the grain wars come, time out.
When the grain wars come, you will be shipped off.
Speak some Chinese.
We will barter you.
Okay, time in.
I hope it's in Ukraine.
I want to go over there one day.
Hey, you got a crane near your neck the way you got to suck me off.
I'll go to Ukraine with you.
I'll go to Ukraine with you's it's dangerous. It's wrong
I don't want to go to any of this fantasy. I don't want to go to see Italy shit anymore
I want to go where it's fucking where there's boots on the ground. I'll go with you man
Thanks, this it see and he'll go with it. You won't go anywhere with me course. I'm not gonna go anyway
I should go I'll go I'll go right now. You'll go to Ukraine. We need a crazy 100%
I'll go to turn you I
Meetings to miss all week, so I will not be I would not be there means to miss more like boys to kiss a oh I got two coffees in my head so he just can't handle it
I'm fuming
I wanna play
I'm inside
I'm winter
and all my friends
are playing hockey
look I got
fucking
a lot to do
I gotta fucking stream
I gotta make
I gotta make
fucking dinner
for my beautiful girlfriend
I know what you make I girlfriend wait time out time out
I made dinner for cutie
I know
how do you know about this
you told us yesterday
on the podcast
I'm gonna knock your fucking teeth out
it was so good
time out
it was so good
it was so good. That was good.
It was so good.
The dinner that I made was so yum-a.
Did she say that?
No, did I tell you what she said?
No.
Oh, okay, so I made dinner for her.
Beautiful, fucking beautiful breaded chicken, delicious.
Yeah, it cost like $33 to buy the ingredients.
$30.
Yes, it was beautiful. It was chickpea pasta clean free broccolini
Yes, sir, no asparagus. No piss no sparrows. No piss cuz sparrows look bad. I give her the dish. She it feel like we all just smoke weed
I know
Okay
So she's eating the dish
She's doing
She's doing wine about it
I pause to see her reaction
She takes a bite
She goes
Little oily And I'm like she like I pause to see your reaction. She takes a bite. She goes
little oily
And I'm there and I'm like
And then and then I walk away and she's like it's actually good It's good. It's too late. It's too late. And it's too late. And then I go to says I eat it bro fire
Okay, it was amazing. Yeah, I put a little paprika paprika okay in the breading it had a little
kick it was so good i ate two servings but it was a little oily she said the broccoli was a little
oily and i won't lie my thumb slipped when i was pouring the oil so there was some oil she was
telling the fucking truth what i realized is that when she cooks meals she's a really good cook
right but whenever she cooks a meal before i eat it, she'll always be like,
it wasn't good this time.
And it's always like fucking good.
But I thought it was just her,
like,
you know,
trying to downplay it
so that I would like,
you know what I mean?
Does she tell you the fucking truth
about your fucking food?
She does tell me the truth
about the fucking food.
She's like Gordon fucking Ramsey,
which sucks
because then I'm making food
for Gordon fucking Ramsey.
But you get good feedback.
She's not going to sit there.
It's honest feedback.
I don't want good feedback.
I want her to be like, you're the goat.
Yeah.
And then fucking call it a day.
Yeah.
That's what I want.
I want my girlfriend to lie to me basically all the time.
That's 100%.
I don't care if I could be better.
I want to stay the same.
Right.
But feel like I'm the goat.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yes.
This is time out, right?
This is time out. Come on, dude. This, that's it. Yes. I just time out right?
Tommy I only know how to make carbonara
Want to stay the same and feel like I'm the go what is dove soap?
How many empty boxes of heavy whipping cream, I'm sorry not empty how many
Three-quarters full boxes of heavy whipping cream. Did you keep in the fridge over your life when we lived together?
I don't know.
I just bought a new one yesterday.
A new one, right.
Every time at the store, right?
I assume that's the only one we have.
Yeah, but it wasn't.
I haven't checked.
I haven't checked in years.
Wait, how many would you think that were in the fridge door, maybe?
Oh.
Like nine?
Nine.
He's freezing up.
Time out.
We can go stance for stance.
Yo, okay.
Aiden, shut the fuck up.
That's tough.
I was timed out.
He was timed out.
And Nick.
Buddy.
Fuck yeah, we can go mogul male.
Anyway, if you guys ever wanted me to make you some breaded chicken, i'd chef it up different i don't want you to touch me you you would want me to cook you this time out i need you to get
breaded chicken time in what did that mean time out what that mean think about it i need you to
get breaded comma chicken he wants you your common to get more money
I need you to get bread the chicken and that's why it's hard to be me because like to be in the psyche of
Like a real conscious like hip hop and psyche the bean is the darks you have
Time in I need to get breaded chicken
Why do you look at your fucking phone for? Time out. I was sending zipper my penis.
No, it's definitely there, you just have to zoom in.
You gotta zoom way in.
Sorry I'm busy.
Stretch Res it.
Oh, wait.
This is really funny.
The timeout.
Aiden, or Stan's message, me and Aiden.
Hello, gamers.
Ludwig was surprised about the recording date for part two of Unpaid Intern,
which is making me think he didn't tell you guys.
And then the face that is...
Like that.
Oh, like crazy.
Crazy face.
And then...
Wait, this is a real timeout? This is a real problem that I'm about to be angry about.
This is, can we do time in for it? You can be Aiden and I'll be Ludwig.
Alright.
Yeah, time in.
Yeah, fucking no.
Time in.
I don't know what to, time, fuck.
Dude.
We fucking asked.
Wait. Dude, we fucking asked.
But I mean, like, it's just it's just frustrating because I feel like I brought it up and you had all of the time to tell me when you needed me. It just makes me feel like you just it just makes me feel like you don't value my time.
Are you listening?
No, man.
Look, I think that it's fine.
I think that we can probably figure it out.
But, you know, we'll just figure it out, man.
It's fine.
Okay, I forgive you almost instantly.
Because I don't possess the ability to hold a grudge.
And also because I, basically, whatever I say essentially goes. forgive you almost instantly because i because i don't possess the ability to hold a grudge and
also because i basically whatever i say it essentially goes so it actually doesn't matter
at the end of the day i will have to make the rule from liverpool yeah says though it says me
instead of i what he talks and that's how we rap we'd like it yeah we would. We like that deep cut shit. I get it.
I've been listening to
Soulja Boy lately.
That's actually accurate. Time Out.
Was that good? That?
That was on point.
He was bar for bar.
So it's resolved.
That's great for me.
Wait, we're still Time Out, right?
It's not fucking resolved.
It's not fucking resolved. I brought this up so many times when we recorded. You forg for me. Wait, we're still timeout, right? Yeah. It's not fucking resolved! It's not fucking resolved! You fucking forgave me!
I brought this up so many times when we recorded. You forgave me!
Timeout, call DaVinci, he'll resolve it.
We were already timed out. You don't have to say timeout again. You're gonna say timeout over timeout.
I just don't want Aiden to get glory. The way that timeout works is if we're timed in, you say timeout.
Timeout. Time it. Uh, what time? I got a fucking timeout works, if we're timed in, you say timeout. Timeout.
Time it.
What time?
I got a fucking timeout.
I got a hard out.
Oh, you're already checking the clock?
Hard out?
Oh, I'm in.
Okay, where do you want to go?
I got a hard out pretty soon because I got, like, I schedule shit just overlapping all the time to make my life harder.
I'm listening to The Daily while doing this.
What?
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Trying to get lunch?
For lunchers?
I could.
That's fucked up because I do want that.
I'm going to go home.
I will Google the word food and find the first result.
It's probably going to be good.
It'll probably be good.
I'll Google food.
You want to go?
Yeah, I'll get some fucking.
Stop Google.
Don't call it Google.
I'll get some fucking food with you. I'll yelp the word food. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get some Google. Don't call it Google. I'll get some fucking food with the word food.
We'll get some food because I definitely probably,
I don't have the calendar app on my phone,
so there's no way I would know if I have some time out too far.
I have two calendar apps,
two calendar apps.
Okay.
Two.
And last obligation,
you know,
call no show.
Not me.
What?
Oh,
we're timed out now.
Let me ask you a question
wait no we're timing in for this okay you you showed up you didn't show up to the shoot
and you were directing oh and i was you are you're mad okay so time and time and time oh he's right
you did no call no show i didn't show because i thought it was another day and i apologized
and i think that means it's 40 my fault and mostly yours you think it's mostly sorry you
think it's mostly my fault mostly ludwig's fault whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa wait how is it my
fault explain yourself to him i don't think apologizing makes it okay,
but I will say your chest is much bigger than it has been.
Like, in the past couple months,
your chest has grown in a way that really shows
that you are putting up numbers that you haven't put up before,
and I think that's really cool.
Thank you.
Slime wouldn't get distracted.
Getting distracted is Aiden.
He should be mad.
No, I love compliments.
Wait, wait, no. I wouldn't't be mad I'm in the hot seat
Oh right
You know what it is
I like that you see that about me
So you look good and I just wanted to say that
It didn't really matter that you didn't show up
Because at the end of the day
You're such a value to my life
Things like this
I don't even think about them
I think we should
hit the bag together
after this
I would love to do that
let's get the stamina
let's get the sweat
going me and you
alright time out
is it resolved now
uh yeah
he resolved it
through compliments
maybe we should do this
more often
we should wish
Anthony loves
this is easy
you just learned
how to dissolve conflict
we have a Gundam fighter
who fights our battles
for us
well the conflict
was that he was late
but I just pretended
I didn't care
because I was Ludwig
to get out of it
but then the mech fighter
took care of it
it's all resolved
so you guys are resolved
everyone's resolved
I'm resolved
you're not mad at me
for the unpaid intern thing
fuck we've gone back
and forth so many times
I actually don't remember
what I'm mad about
no one watching knows either we but time out shorty got the
You know oh
No, he's becoming one. Yeah, you know if he dinner out. What was the other thing?
Fucking singularity is when we fully swap
Time in I don't have the I do have two calendar apps, but the funny thing is I don't fucking use them. Isn't that crazy?
I do have two calendar apps, but the funny thing is I don't fucking use them. Isn't that crazy?
It's crazy. I told Dan- It is crazy. It is crazy. Yeah, I know, it's crazy. I told Dan Najarian to meet in person today and then guess what?
Guess who showed up?
Guess who showed up in person? Not me! More like Dan the vegetarian. Oh, eating grass.
That's pretty good. That's fucking stinky, dude. Not me! More like Dan the Vegetarian. Oh, eating grass.
That's pretty good. That's fucking stinky, dude.
That's a stinking stinker.
What was that?
That's a stinky one, dude.
Stinky one.
Alright, what are we talking about?
What are we talking about?
Okay, that's good, but...
Does it absolve?
Does it absolve?
You're losing it.
You're losing it.
You're losing your head.
Did you hear this guy?
He says you're losing it.
I'm not losing it.
I've been the goatAT since day one.
Ugh.
Ugh.
I like how the new fail- time out- the new fail is to just fucking heave.
Like your fat left leg.
I'm- I'm-
I'm not a munchkin.
I'm not a munchkin so I'm just like-
How much do you- how much do you weigh?
Huh?
How much do you weigh?
Me as Ludwig? Stinky 205
Yeah they're going band for band
We can go pound for pound
I weigh stinky 205, time in as we sticky 205 I'm Ludwig
Time out, how much do you weigh, Sly?
Sly?
I weigh 181
I'm 180 right now
No way!
You're a lying bitch!
Cut the shit There's some- there's a new stinky in town
Is it me?
No, it's Aiden
182 yeah, what do you see? That's crazy. No
Okay, I figured that was a lie lied. Okay. No you a
167
Dude you look so remarkably close. 168. 168. That's crazy. You're such a tall thin man. How much I weigh?
180 you just said. No, I lied. What? Fuck you think I weigh 180. That's what I was saying.
I think we need to, I think we need to be, we need to take off. I think you weigh 191.
Time in I'm a stinky 205 and I'm fucking proud of it.
I'm 194. Thank you.
I'm a stinky 2. You wanna what?
Don't worry about it. I think we should take the masks off.
Okay. We should get Ron real with it.
You wanna get Ron real?
Are you just trying to fuck me? I thought you had a thing going on.
Wait, is it? Are we time in?
We're lost!
The way you're rubbing is on. How do we go back?
We have to forgive each other.
Ohhhh. Because secretly, The way you're rubbing his arm. How do we go back? We have to forgive each other. Oh.
Because secretly, we wanted to do this because we're mad at each other.
Yeah.
And we need to forgive so that we can forget.
A lot of anger.
And then we can shed off our mortal realm.
Our mortal coil.
Our mortal clothes.
Return to juice.
Let's forgive the person that we are portraying.
Nick.
That's you.
Sorry that I view you as a one trick.
You know?
But I honestly think sometimes...
It's not an apology.
It's not an apology.
It doesn't feel like it's good anymore.
I didn't finish the sentence yet.
But I honestly think that sometimes
you are
not...
Okay, he's trapped in the realm forever.
It's not an apology.
But I started with sorry.
It's fine.
Wait, he doesn't just know.
You don't get to just...
Come on, come on.
Let me try again.
Let me try again.
Yeah, okay.
Wait, I'm... No, he's talking to me try again, let me try again. Yeah, okay. Wait, I'm-
No, he's talking to me.
You're apologizing to Nick.
The person you're portraying, you're apologizing towards.
It's on me.
We can go man for man.
Fuck yeah, we can go in for him.
This isn't an apology!
You guys are being a fucking mirror at each other.
It feels like one.
We can go kiss for kiss.
I forgive him.
Okay, yeah, I was gonna say, if you forgive him, then...
Okay.
Well done.
It spoke to me.
Therapy is a joke.
L. Ron Hubbard was right.
Better help, but it's Ludwig, uh...
It's just Ludwig doing this.
Alright, and...
Slime?
I'm sorry for appropriating something you can't change.
What's the difference?
In the canon of you being slime, that's your brain.
We have a lot of thoughts in here.
A lot of thoughts about you.
And I should fill it with good ones.
Get rid of the bad ones.
We'd be closer to each other.
He's just going to start doing this.
I keep rubbing people's legs.
Isn't it nice?
Next thing you're just going to start rubbing my legs.
This is like Sense8.
It's nice.
It's rubbing bodies left and right.
The issue is that I'm the only one you can reach during the pause.
You're just going to be rubbing me now.
But I think we commiserated.
I think I understand you better now.
Well, after your apology.
Yeah.
And I think I'd like to hear your apology to Ludwig.
Accept your apology, Aiden.
Hey, Ludwig. Hey your apology, Aiden.
Hey, Ludwig.
Hey.
Me slum.
What's up?
I think that for all of the faults, for all of the annoyances that seem inconsiderate.
Tough start.
And they do.
Making it worse.
They seem inconsiderate.
That's a triple down down that's how they seem
many have said this
KFC's never gone this far
it's a quadruple down
but
I think at the end of the day
you uh
it's just
it just seems inconsiderate
if there was a
if there was a neutral third party
like
the ACLU
they would say that
it was inconsiderate.
Okay.
But even with that much.
You're tag teaming this one?
He just likes hopping in.
I forgive you.
Okay.
No, wait, wait.
What?
I forgive you.
Even though.
Are you mean right now?
What's going on?
I'm slime.
Okay.
Dress as Ludwig.
Apologizing to real Ludwig.
Dress as Ludwig's a stretch.
I don't think it's a stretch.
Really?
Stay strong.
You need to forgive.
Okay.
Having a zin does not make you Ludwig.
On this set it does.
Look at your fucking hair.
Nick, what's it look like?
His hair?
You look good.
You said I can't put him on set.
Oh, I look terrible.
I know.
Oh, God.
Sorry, go ahead.
I think that...
He's so close to an apology.
I think that at the end of the day, you're a great friend,
and you have simply just stretched yourself so thin for so long
that it feels like you don't have the time for people,
but you try really hard to make the time.
And I think that's beautiful.
And I think that you have a lot of care in your heart for the people you're close to.
And I will always think that.
The end.
Me, me, me, me, me, me.
Wow.
Hong Chu.
I think it all back.
DJ Hong Chu on the beat, huh?
We're going to be stuck like this forever. DJ Hong Chu in the morning. back
I gotta forgive in
I'm sorry. I said you tell 45 minute stories about the airport They're more like 30
You think that was the worst part of what you said about him?
Everything else was just
Just felt like facts
Right, right, right, right
I'll own where I've lied
Okay, but that's the only lie
I feel like you should know
There's like a big part that you should say
Which part?
There's like a recurring bit You you should say. Which part? There's like a recurring bit.
Yeah.
You're gonna be stuck in that body forever.
And you're not here for an underage girl.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good one just straightened out.
Man, I love you.
I love you too.
And now that I'm Nick, you look like a homeless magician.
Me?
When you had the thing on Yeah
Well with the wig on
Oh man
Alright well we're back
We're back to normal
Oh my god
I forgot what seeing is like
This is crazy
Welcome back
You look so different right now
I haven't had my glasses off in that long
Dude look
Zipper made Kristen Bell
And the skeleton friends
That's really funny
Alright I'll put I'll put it in Skeleton friends. That's really funny.
All right, I'll put it in the Patreon.
Hold on.
That's so cute.
They're friends forever.
Posted in the Patreon.
This shit's not done, so we still got some time. Wait, is it not?
Do you think we learned?
Do you think it's fucking done?
Do you see a fucking thumbs up on the fucking screen, you fucker?
How much time do we have?
Zippers have a conversation.
Do you think we learned?
With Miles.
I can hear him.
About stuff? 10 to 15. 10 to 15. That's tough. I feel like we learned? With Miles I can hear him About stuff?
10 to 15
10 to 15
That's tough
I feel like we learned
Of course I learned
I learned that
You cut loose a little bit more
Shit bro
Shit
That was fucking fire dude
And I also learned that
If you act like me
In a social setting
For the camera
You win
You're electric You love thinking you're the GOAT Well I kinda did Act like me in a social setting for the camera. You win.
You're electric.
You love thinking you're the GOAT.
Well, I kind of did.
And you love thinking being Aiden's hard.
Being Aiden's hard, man.
I love thinking this.
Because I have to be genuine.
That's why it's hard.
You have to bring diversity.
I don't come to the podcast to be genuine.
And I bring a genuine heart.
I come to be a big joker.
It's true. Yeah, you come to be a baby joker.
I don't lust for you.
Okay, you're still doing the foot thing, huh?
That's fun.
That's fun for the fan.
This is what I learned.
What did you learn?
Huh?
What did you learn?
This gig?
Not bad.
You like this one?
This is not a bad gig.
Throwing pot shots?
What do you think your gig is?
You just start throwing shit at everybody.
No, your gig as Ludwig.
You got to get shit thrown at you.
Oh, you think you're...
That's easier than anything.
You think you're just jumping on grenades left and right.
Please. Blim's lost.
War is fought.
Has there ever been one with you?
You and you.
No slime.
No guess.
I don't think we've ever done a main app.
When did he miss an episode?
He missed one. He's missed. I missed the no, no. When did he miss an episode? He missed one.
He's missed.
I missed the Carl Jacobs one.
But, that's what I was thinking.
Carl Jacobs.
There's always been a guest.
You're a fucking liar, dude.
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you said no guests.
Yeah, I did say it, man.
We've only done one with us three when it was a premium, I think.
I don't think that ever happened.
Hi.
We gotta dry my feet, R.
Dude, oh my god. That is disgusting.
I know.
Why don't you take care of yourself?
I do take care of myself. What are you talking about?
Never mind.
Do you guys ever worry about... I work out all the time.
Slime?
Do you guys worry about him?
I do, now that he lives alone for sure.
Yeah.
What the fuck is this?
I worry about you.
What the fuck?
Why?
I think you would have been better off living with Josh or Miles.
I understand you wanted to live alone, but I think it's a bad, bad...
I'm fine.
Explain yourself.
I don't feel like you're old enough yet.
I'm 34.
I didn't say I didn't know the number.
I just feel like you don't socialize.
You don't go out.
So what?
So you just lost your main socialization.
You don't like that you don't socialize.
Yeah, you want to socialize.
I play tech in the Discord, but no one joins the call.
That's different.
But the hangouts you get when you know like what what's you know what i would i would i would reckon that was some of
the memories that you've come to this pod with is you and josh man watching liam or some shit
yeah i love that but i can if josh where it go if josh joined the if josh was like hey let's watch
liam together in a call i'd be like i'll see you there my wife so but now the
difference is you did it you did it because you're forced to because the close quarters and now you
need to do it with his onus well the different the thing is if you want to bring josh into this he
it's like he's dropped on the face of the earth because he doesn't text he is bad at texting he
just literally if you're not in his actual proximity yes but you know josh comes every
day right now he comes comes here. It's true
It was off. I like that. I like the vibe here. It's very lively
Yeah, the office is more active than it's ever been poppin sexually active too. That's not hopefully the case
It's the mogul moves daily orgy
Every day every day
Wow every day every day
As your lawyer, I recommend don't Sabbath Sunday's the big one that is Sabbath That is the big one is the big orgy what makes it bigger for people who we raise for its FNF its friend the family
FNF Sundays mmm fuck that does make sense then yeah, and it gets crazy
Tournaments yeah, you tell me itCal. I haven't seen a damn stream.
SoCal Orgy League.
I haven't seen the streams.
Oh, off cam?
It's ranked?
Two people got to play a match as a beard for what's going on behind the scenes.
It's me.
It's fucking me, Eli.
While the game's going, guys go.
That's Danny.
Just sweating.
On a ski trip.
There's two air mattresses in that one room down there.
If that mattress could talk.
So yeah, the vibes I hear have been great.
It's like, I'm a gay mattress.
For gay sex.
Why do you never invite us to sleep over?
You never invite us for sleepovers.
Yeah, you never.
You actually don't.
That's fucking weird.
Because the best house for sleepovers.
Because I don't want that.
I don't want to do that.
You wouldn't want to hang out with all those.
Well, you're up in the area.
How do you know that?
Huh?
How do you know he has the best house for sleepovers?
Have you been to his house?
I've been to his house.
No, you haven't.
Stupid.
You didn't even...
You never saw the place I lived before that.
Wait for it to click.
Wait for what to click?
Like the memory's going to lock into place?
Have you been to his home?
Yes
Dude no you haven't
What the fuck is don't punch the air?
Boxing?
Oh my god you did
There's a click
Well now my feelings are hurt
There's a click
We can have him in our house
We can go bam bam bam
Right?
We have reached the
It's so funny one day
This podcast was built on the idea
That Ludwig doesn't hang out with us
From day fucking one we've bitched about that
That's not true
We've bitched about it
Oh you mean as a topic of conversation
Yes
I thought you meant as a fangled plot to get him to hang out with us.
As an institution.
No, but in a way, I think he liked the idea of us being able to hang out as a job, and so he didn't.
This podcast was formed from bits about how we used to have access to our friend, and now we don't have access to our friend as much.
That's right.
But now we have more access to our friend.
No, we fucking don't, fucker.
Yeah, they have more access to me. We don't have as much access to you. So you got to set up a sleepover. We can't reh But now we have more access to our friend. No, we fucking don't. They have more access to me.
We don't have as much
access to you.
So you got to set up
a sleepover.
You can't rehash this.
You're hard to access.
You have to set up
a sleepover.
Yeah.
Okay.
All I'm saying is
I didn't study it.
You have reached
the same conclusion
that we've been talking
about.
Sleepover.
Sleepover.
Sleepover.
I have a plan for you.
Yes, you will.
I'd rather do a lock-in
in the bowling alley.
You give Nick
$17,000 to start
and brand a new podcast
that we all have to do together once a week.
Another one?
Another podcast.
It's a sleepover podcast.
Did you say a lock-in at a bowling alley?
What are you, 90?
That was Ludwig's initial investment
in the podcast, $20,000.
Do you think it's paid him back?
No, it wasn't.
It wasn't more than that.
It just was.
You want your time?
It's like you don't factor anything in.
You know what I do factor in?
That'd be hard if we do have that.
We might have a film we'll have to check.
It was this late in the episode.
If no one's watching it.
People lie.
I always like when you say that,
or when we always say,
if you're watching it then no one is.
But a lot of people are like,
who's watching?
I saw it.
And that makes me feel nice.
That's at the end.
So we're back to the same old shit.
I'm not going to have a fucking sleepover.
We need to talk about it.
Why?
Why are you so fucking evil?
Because it's funny.
Would you come to a sleepover?
Yes.
It's so fucking,
what do you call it?
It's so exhausting to socialize for me.
Wait, you have the best house for a sleepover.
What are we getting?
I have pets and I have a girlfriend.
You have no house.
What's wrong with your girlfriend?
She can sleep over too.
I mean, she beds.
Yeah, we all get in the master bed.
Five seconds, take it back.
Five seconds, take it back.
I don't show up next week.
I take it back. We all get in the master bed. I'm saying say my passing say bad. I don't show him next week I take it back. We all get in the master bed like like Willy Wonka
Yeah, and then she goes and sleeps maybe on the couch. She sleeps on the ground or fellas
He's got the best home for it. Did you're fucking lying? I'm not lying
Why don't you like anything it's cool? Why not girls night, dude? Drinks with the ladies.
Don't want to do that.
Why don't you ever want to do anything?
Because I like playing video games right now.
Do you want to sit in a Discord call for eight hours?
Kinda.
That's kind of fucking beast.
Why don't we just do a sleepover and we'll be in Discord?
What the fuck's gonna happen at the sleepover?
What are you pushing this for?
We're gonna hang out for We're gonna hang out
We're gonna hang out
Dude
We're gonna hang out
At the sleepover
We're gonna hang out
I don't like that
We can get raw
Why don't you like hanging out
It'll be 2am
It'll be 2am
When we'll go on x.com
When's the last time
We pushed everything out
Wait really
We should post for x.com
We're gonna post on the everything app
About our feelings
Yeah because
You can do a post
You can do a video
You can do a photo
I can't tell you what I actually feel
But here's a funny drill
We can talk to Grok Gro drill. We can talk to Grok.
Grok?
Dude, we can talk to Grok.
I'll open a space to talk about Grok.
Talking about Grok in my space later.
Make sure you tune the fucking to my X stream.
Wait, you got spaces on X?
Shits on X only now, guys, so. Live on X tube, live on my X stream. Wait, you got spaces on X? Shits on X only now, guys, so...
Live on X tube. Live on my X tube
later. Talk about Grok.
Live with X.
I'm gonna have AI choose what I talk about.
Talk about my nice little Grok.
My big ol' freakin' Grok.
We might get into some...
Sam Altman come to the sleepover?
We might get into some Epic Doggos.
We might get into some Chungus.os. We might get into some chungus.
We'll be talking about mostly crypto,
mostly investing,
and mostly hustling and working overtime.
And how AI can help with it all.
And maybe some freaking chungus,
which I learned on Reddit today.
And maybe woke ruining video games.
But, you know,
because it's always happening.
And how I have a blue-haired child that I hate.
I'm Elon Musk Elon Munt
Dude I learned that
What's the youngest kids right now?
What are they Gen what?
What are you talking about?
Gen Alpha?
They got a new
They've rebirthed an old use of the word Munt
Munt?
Yeah.
Or mutt?
Munt.
Like the Australians like for throwing up?
For throwing up.
They use it in a different way now.
It's way grosser.
What is it?
It's like having sex with like a dead person or something.
What?
Yeah.
And I learned about this.
You learned about it on XC?
Is it colloquial to talk about that in school now?
Dude, so
I don't want to leak.
But I was talking to the little brother
of someone I know.
And they were explaining this to me.
I was like, that's not what mutton means.
Mutton means something else.
And they were like, no, look it up.
And I looked it up and it was on Urban Dictionary.
How many upvotes?
Dude, like 2004.
It was the first one.
Like on some rotten.com
shit? Yeah, dude. Sipper, look it up. I don't believe this guy.
He wasn't listening.
And it was like
really gross.
It is gross.
Don't put sigh zipper.
Give me a 1 through 10.
1 through 10? Yeah, what are the odds?
Of what? Sleepover.
I love what are the odds? Of what? Sleepover. Oh, what are the odds? I love what are the odds.
Wait, wait, here's Munt.
The act of Munting is Scottish Australia where it decided puke can throw it up.
It's the first one.
It's the top one.
Go to the next one.
The next one.
What the fuck?
I saw it.
It came up right when I searched it.
Well.
That's because you're talking about it on your phone.
I heard you.
Okay, man.
Yeah, this is the anus of Okay, man. Yeah, this is oh
The I swear maybe Monday that is crazy. Maybe search my sense
What will your jobs hard zipper all right one of the yeah, it sounds hard okay
Okay, this is gross
This is coming up in common slang.
It doesn't four, dude.
That's crazy.
Why is the young generation talking about this?
I don't know!
That was like, why are you guys being weird?
Why aren't the young people talking about this?
Alright, what are the odds? What are the odds?
I was supposed to present it out and play guess good.
So you gotta go three, two, one.
Yeah, but what's the win condition for you guys?
Pick a number. If I get the right number, then we do this. Just get to sleep over. 3, 2, 1. Yeah, but what's the win condition for you guys? If I get the right number,
then we do something funnily. You just get to sleep over.
No, wait. All of us just sleep over, obviously.
No, no, but Jess Ludwig
gets to guess the odds. I'm about to count it down.
Yeah, we don't get three guesses. We get one guess.
No, no, pause, pause. We have to say what are the
odds? 10. You said 1 in 10.
You said 1 in 10? I don't get to pick them. No, no, he picks them.
That's why you say what are the odds, yeah.
1 in 10. That's it?
You don't give me 1 in 5? It's a 10% chance. You don't give me 1 him. No, he picks. That's what you say. What are the odds? Yeah. What are the odds? That's it. You don't give me one percent chance.
You don't give me one in five.
No.
Why?
Wow.
He really doesn't want to do it.
I really don't want to do it.
He loves gambling.
He doesn't want to do it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
I got it.
What?
Go, go, go.
One.
Eight.
Oh, shit.
Close. That was so close. I know. Because I thought about ten, and I was like, that's kind of wild. 1 9 8 oh shit close you got close
I know
because I thought about 10
and I was like
that's kind of wild
you know what
you know what I think
when people talk about odds
and they're always like
oh man that was close
but if the numbers
if the numbers are different
then it's the same
it's the same
it's the same
it's the same
it's not close
it's not close
it's not close
in the context of the game it's as close as today and tomorrow no it's not close Honk Shoot In the context of the game
It's as close as
Today and tomorrow
No it's not
Because it's sequentially
It's the same idea
Of nine is close to eight
It's irrelevant
It's like a heat map
If one is blue
And ten is hot red
That's exactly why
I'm saying you're wrong
Because it's not like that
Stay tuned in
Because Sir Sleeps A Lot
Is coming up next
Okay listen
Logic Man
The morning
The premium
On this episode Is one we shot yesterday So it's coming up next. Okay, listen. Logic Man in the morning. The premium on this episode
is one we shot yesterday.
So it's actually, it comes from me from the past.
And we bickered. And I actually
think it's really funny. I think the premium's
pretty good. You know what I'll squeeze in?
New merch is coming.
New merch coming into this one.
My god, son of a damn bitch.
And for the real heads who are at the end of the episode,
I'm gonna provide a little D&D update.
Woah! Oh shit!
Woah!
If you hear this, do not post on our reddit.
This is only for your ears. No, this is only for you.
What? It's closed!
Alright, the table is done.
Get there!
The table is done.
Uh, most of the key art is done.
Uh, our campaign is ready.
We've played it, in it.
And we are going to record episode
one this month.
Really? Do we have a name?
Holy shit. Do we have a name?
I won't leak the name.
We don't have one. We do have a name.
I haven't agreed on it. I'm changing it.
Okay. We don't have a name until a little bit because
I signed off. I had the before. It already has the.
He said what he said.
Okay. He said what he said okay he said what he said
alright Archie
bleep this out
it's
mmm
I like it
I like it
but
but
I just like
touching you
I know
isn't it nice
okay okay
it's like very ground
I know
guys
it's time to end
okay I'm gonna
we're gonna end this podcast
go check out the primo
and uh we like you and you're cool whatever I'm gonna we're gonna end this podcast go check out the primo and uh
we like you
and you're cool whatever
I'm gonna fucking
touch Ludwig
cause I haven't
touched him in a while
okay bye
oh