The Yard - Ep. 16 - Aiden's TERRIBLE Purchase
Episode Date: October 20, 2021Nothing quite says "white podcaster in Hollywood" like proudly wearing the Fortnite x Balenciaga collab. This week the boys discuss Nick and Aiden's racist uber driver, how to unclog a toilet, and the... one time Nick grimed Anthony to the highest degree.
Transcript
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Oh man, oh you're smoking now.
Are you smoking weed?
Is that what happened?
I switched from weed to cigarettes.
You come back from Italy and you're smoking cigarettes.
And my son's on his phone.
He doesn't care about anything anymore.
Hey, I got business.
I'm going to tell the pod straight up right now.
I have wheeling and dealing stuff to do.
You are on the cusp of a change in your entire life.
Mixer just offered him $40 million.
I told my chat that.
I was like, yeah, I'm in the middle of contract negotiations,
so I can't get banned because they wanted me to pull up a picture of me
in the underwear that I had.
Oh, yeah, don't do it.
But replace the penis with the monkey balls that Schlatt had.
And I was like, I pulled it up.
I get banned.
My contract negotiation is over.
I'm going to fucking fix her.
That is like the fucking zero yard line.
Yeah.
That is literally dropping the ball and then just...
Yeah.
Oof, that'd be tough.
Welcome to the yard, by the way.
Episode 16.
Episode 16.
Who cares?
Yeah.
I do.
I am such an avid fan of the yard.
Are you really?
It's the first time you've been right,
so I don't think that that's true.
You're also not a fan because you didn't even know
about the have you dreamed this Eamon face.
You were like, what is that?
You know what's funny? I was doing a Reddit recap today
and there was a Yard meme in there
and someone in my chat was like,
man, I wish the Yard Reddit would
pop off like this. You know what?
It's up to you guys. Because we're in
there. We check it. You just gotta get in there.
It's like there's no incentive because we'll check
it passively but we don't pull it up.
I have talked about it before.
We should start pulling the Reddit up on the show.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I'm down.
I think some of the things in there have been bangers.
That's why I bring it up.
I'm actually the most sexually, socially active among everyone in the Discord and stuff.
No, no fuck a fan club.
Dang.
Woo!
Aiden perks up. Yeah! You don't woo. By. Dang. My fucking dude.
Aiden perks up.
You don't woo.
By the way.
This guy rocks.
Funny thing, you're wearing that beautiful designer item.
Real quick, I actually tried to buy that when it dropped online for Aiden. So for those who don't know, this is a authentic Fortnite slash Balenciaga collaboration.
It's a sweater.
You tried to get the t-shirt i tried to buy you the large balenciaga fortnite t-shirt and here's what happened i tried to buy it with a business card because it's an expense because we're gonna
it's like you know it's obviously fucking stupid prop meme yeah like four hundred dollars i tried
i tried three different times four hundred dollars No, no, that was a shirt. Yeah, this shirt. And our bank was like,
this is fraud.
Stop.
You can't buy this.
Dude, our bank blows.
My favorite thing about that
was this is,
Anthony tells me this
like two days after Ashcon
had messaged me
and he said that
you should buy this.
He said it to you?
That's funny.
And then I told him
later on, I was like, yeah, Slime tried to
buy it for me.
Me and Aiden are in the Italian Balenciaga
and the associate,
bless her heart, she was walking us around
explaining every item. Very helpful, very passionate
about Balenciaga and what they make. She sees that we're enamored by this like indiana jones we
and aiden are cross-armed and we're both looking at it and we're like nodding like yes this is the
one this is it she walks over she like tries to explain fortnite to us, she's like, it's very funny. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's like a game.
It's a nine dance.
Very exclusive partnership.
And Aiden does
the most Aiden thing
I think I've ever explained,
ever seen,
where he starts to explain
how we have run
Fortnite events,
and,
to an Italian woman.
Yeah,
he starts to just give,
in English,
and she's like,
oh,
at this time of day,
localize entirely
in your kitchen.
She has no fucking idea
He said so I'm aiding but my brother
Played how his brother played the game like
Call me Eamon. Well, my name's Aiden. Um, so he's a teen now. He has a milk. No
I get to be proud of my little brother. Fuck you. That is kind of cute.
Not to a random Italian woman.
That's cute.
He's bragging like a proud soccer mom.
It was too much information.
Anyways, so me and Aiden are talking about it, and it's like a $1,000 sweatshirt.
And it just says Fortnite and Balenciaga on it.
This was 890 euros.
Oh, my God.
That's like $1,000.
Can you come here?
I want to feel it.
Yeah.
It's actually pretty nice.
It's very well made.
It better be.
Here, here, hold on.
You know what I do like about it?
The design on the back.
Oh, there's a back?
Is it like a band tee?
Yeah, it's like a band tee.
Like the tour?
Yeah.
All right, show me.
It's retail row.
Oh, wow.
That's actually kind of far.
Imagine it said Tomato Town.
Let me touch it.
You would think based off fits, Aiden's the richest one here, but it's the opposite.
He's the poorest.
We're both looking at this because our first, I think my first reaction and Nick's first reaction is we're laughing at it because there's a whole rack of these things, right?
Yeah, the whole collection.
They're like normal shirts.
There's only 200 of those, so it's rare to have one.
They only made 200 of the sweater.
That's number 8.
I originally was like, you are dumb, and then he told me
he has 8 of 200, and I'm like, that's cool.
And it has a serial number on it.
It's literally number 8.
More people have the Mogul Moves turtleneck.
Yeah, that's true.
Their Italian store is their flagship store.
It's the largest Balenciaga in the world.
Is Balenciaga an Italian brand?
No.
Or French?
No.
Because it's Balenciaga Couture.
Couture!
First word Spanish, second word French.
Last name ever.
That's what always confused me, by the way, is because Balenciaga is not a fucking French
word.
So me and Aiden are T-posed up.
We're looking at this fucking Fortnite thing, and we're laughing, and she comes over very
enthusiastic. We're trying to explain how we're, and we're laughing, and she comes over very enthusiastic.
We're trying to explain how we're not laughing at the item.
What we are...
So it's like you used to be able to use a shotgun,
and then the other shotgun,
and then you switch between them.
The blue pump was busted.
Double pump, double pump, double pump.
So we're trying to explain...
Do you know who Booga is?
Do you think she knew who Ninja was?
No shot.
Really?
No shot.
He's a fucking worldwide celebrity, bro!
Zero percent.
I don't know she barely
understood what fortnite was really yeah um which was kind of endearing um but we're trying to
explain that we're like not laughing at the item we are but we're like not making fun of it we find
it cool but we're explaining that we find it cool because it's funny this whole thing and me and
aiden look at each other and we're like well there's only one and we're like so who's gonna
buy it and we're like we're not like fighting over it like you're still yeah you still have to pay a thousand dollars both of us are saying like paying a
thousand dollars for a fortnight item is kind of an l uh despite us both thinking it is cool this
is yeah the thought process is that like this this saw like this sucks in general but this specific
one kind of nice but also i'm not willing to pull the trigger on this
$1,000 sweater.
Both of us were immediately drawn to this one, despite all being other items.
I can't believe you didn't fight over having it, because it's so cool to have.
No, it's because of the amount of money.
I don't think either.
Are you fucking around?
I think when I learned that there's 200 of them, you could probably resell that for more
than you buy.
Yeah, you could flip it on grill.
Oh, 100%. Is this how you scam Lud Ludwig they just tell him that something's rare
limited like well I gotta have it has a collection of Pokemon yeah yeah of
course literally yes I thought a sixteen thousand dollar wax at you Jackie Chan
if you told me there were three thousand I would be so sad you know it's very
rare shit is fucking replying to me maybe you start doing what yeah hey collect this does it resell on grail well like little b base god hashtag rare reply so me and aiden ultimately decide
let's coin flip and loser takes it um and clearly i won the coin flip uh so aiden took it loser
takes it we filmed it and the the woman the sales associate is watching the whole thing like us
laughing discussing this going through,
and then us doing the coin flip in the middle of the store.
And we finish it.
We have our reactions or whatever.
She comes over to us again.
She's like, no one has ever done this before.
She was like, no one has ever done anything like this in the store.
And we're like...
That is half of what Nick was saying as we walked around Italy.
He's like, this has never happened
in Italy this has never happened you're
just trying to make world first I was
psyched about playing right there by
Chingy in an Icelandic National Park
no one has ever listened to right like a
rooftop or like a five-star like rooftop
restaurant in Italy and Ludwig's dropping
fucking like cummy poggies and random shit like that.
No.
Okay.
And I'm like,
this has never happened.
I couldn't believe this.
I actually couldn't believe this.
So,
so it was like our second to last day,
right?
Ludwig had pitched the idea of getting tailored Italian.
No,
I didn't pitch it.
Hold up.
You're a liar.
Your grandfather gave you $2,000 and you turned 18 to buy a suit.
Oh, what are you doing? And you didn't do it. You use it on a rent in bullshit. Yeah
Red hey
Not a hand read a handle which is which is a rack
And then when your grandfather said how's the suit you said oh, it's great down
Just the one I met you lied to people he fucking lied to people. Oh people came up
Hey, I was running out of money watch it out people watches the pod to your
Boomers love us
Story as to why I wanted to participate Yeah you wanted to
I sold you on getting
A custom Italian suit
You sold me on getting
A custom Italian suit
Because I owed it to my grandfather
Because I never used that money
For what I told him
Yeah you lied to the
To the
Your progenitor
I needed to pay rent
You know how I sold him too
To be clear
It was for rent
I said what if he dies tomorrow
That's what I was thinking too
Hey
What if he never finds out
I told him that
$2,000 now Aiden
Maybe it pays rent.
You go out and buy a suit, get a good job, you pay rent
the rest of your life. You ever think about that?
Maybe that's why he gave that $2,000 to you.
You lead an Italian to rent,
he lives for a day.
The Italian version of Dinner with Jay-Z.
Your grandpa just tweets out, take the two grand.
Dinner with FaZe Banks? or a million dollars right now.
Dude, FaZe Banks just eating spaghetti, not even talking to you.
These meatballs are good, bro.
So this crypto punk's actually wearing a pair of glasses.
And so that's why.
I flipped this one.
I got 500k in a day.
You could do it.
We're at this place and me and ludwig immediately realized
that getting a tailored suit with this guy is a much more involved process than showing up getting
measurements and then like getting it same day it's like it is super in-depth and this takes like
several fittings were there for like four hours i know i know we were with this guy for ages and
he's explaining like the history of the company,
how they make these products.
And it's honestly kind of beautiful,
the way he describes it all.
It brings an elegance to the whole process,
having him explain it.
Like a passionate little Italian man.
How tiny was he?
He was kind of short.
He was like a tiny little baby.
I hate that he fit this stereotype.
Ezio's son was a fan, a Ludwig fan.
No.
Yes, we found this out like a day later.
Stinky. At the very end.
We're late.
Is that what he did?
Is that your Italian watching?
I didn't spend a lot of time there.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's a little rough.
Ezio's there, yeah.
We're there with him.
Yeah, and he wants to show us how they hand
make all their shoes in like a shop that's like further down the street like once we're done
because we're like late to meet you guys at the vatican or something and um so we go meet him we
come into this like really nice shoe shop he's introducing us to the staff we're going to the
back we see like the workbench with all the stages of like how they fit the shoe to each customer.
It's crazy.
How many people are in there?
Grinding.
There's probably like six people.
They're on lunch at that point
so not that many
but what they have
is they have wooden shoes
like wooden feet.
They have a mold of your foot
in wood
and they just keep it
and they have like 500 people's
wooden feet.
Dude, I was saying that
like this company
like all this
there's going to be
an Italian company
releasing Ludwig fuck dolls.
Yeah.
It's like Leo's at the wheel.
Ezio's fuck doll emporium is going to come out.
Hey, you want to fuck my dog?
It's the best dog.
The raving reviews are going to be like,
the anatomy is a little off, but the feet are fucking spot on.
My dolls, you fuck this doll.
It feels so good.
You're doing like the Rutherford and Rutherford
It's really hard
It feels just like a pussy
We're getting a tour of this beautiful shop
It is so nice
And Ezio is like, this is where this happens
This is where this happens
And we're going through
And Ludwig, in this Italian shoe shop, in his, like, Crocs, right?
Walking around.
And he says, we're about to go upstairs.
And he's like, oh, yeah, this is bussing.
We're just.
And you continue to do this throughout the weekend.
Your new one. Your new one, goatee throaty.
Don't know where that came from.
That's great.
I love goatee throaty.
One of me came home and I had been home already and he said, oh, that's Liddy.
And I literally, I rolled my eyes and I sighed.
And cause he was like, he was looking through packages and he, and I just kind of was silent
and he's like,
I try not to say that
because I know you'll make fun of me,
but now I just say bussin' a lot.
And then I was like,
that's good.
Say bussin'.
That's funny.
Our bug zapper got one.
Got one.
Put it on the spreadsheet.
Jody throaty bug zapper.
Put it on the spreadsheet.
That bug is bussin'.
Right?
Kind of on this note of weird
Atriok Ludwig-isms,
I was...
You know how people...
Atriok, he's about to fucking...
I don't want to be too crass.
He's about to have sex,
and he's...
Get there, get there, get there.
He's about to have sex.
You know what?
Because I respect his...
I respect him too much.
This is like when...
Well, Dicky's not busting tonight,
but, you know,
we can get a little goaty-throaty.
A little goaty...
I'm a little tired,
but, you know, I could do a little...
I would say a little mish.
Do a little mish.
Want to do a little doggy-poggy?
A little doggy-poggy style?
That's a poggy-doggy.
I'm pissed.
Why don't you ride on the H-Rock train?
We are too close to his fiance.
In my mind, he's fucking Sans.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, H-Rock.
Yeah.
Could you just Milky Wilkie me?
Now it's baby talk.
Dude.
Call me Mr. 2% H-Rock
because you're milking my prostate.
Mr. 2% is really funny though.
Call me Mr. 2%.
On that note,
we get a lot of fucking comments
from the H-Rock fandom
that are like,
when is H-Rock,
aka,
and then all of his fucking nicknames.
I have never once
laughed at this fucking joke in my life. Sarah's been funny the whole time. I.a. and then all of his fucking nicknames. I have never once laughed at this fucking joke in my life.
Sarah's been funny the whole time.
And you know why?
Because I made that one.
So anyway, I've never found this funny.
But for a reason, I don't even know if we can talk about why,
but for a reason, undisclosed, I had to read all of them.
I had to go through them, and I had to, like, get the best ones.
And I was going through, and I laughed for the first time when I read Activision Blizzard.
I laughed my fucking ass off.
Yeah, I think COD memes to you are like how tiny cowboy hats are to me.
Dude, when I first saw Call of Garden Italian Warfare, I fucking laughed for like a week.
That's what Nick wanted to name the last podcast episode.
I was like, fuck the clickbait.
It was a big discussion.
Fuck the clickbait.
We'll just do it.
We'll just put it that way.
And you know, we got a 1 out of 10, and that feels better.
We did get a 1 out of 10.
Yeah?
I was in the car with Nick, and a song played.
And I recognized it, and he's like, oh, you know it from the Call of Duty montage?
Yeah, dude, we're meeting up.
We were driving yesterday.
And a song comes on.
He goes, damn, this song's old.
And I'm like, you remember it from Cobb Montage like remember from cob montage that is where i remember it from and
i looked up the remix that's like the one that was using cob montage listen to that instead
you guys pull over start making out this is a real connection yeah we get a little goatee
such a good way to find music i'll say face fake he had game they were a good way to find music. I'll say it. FaceFakey had game.
They were a good way to find Macklemore again.
I think I found same love on a fucking Swan Dives montage.
That's insane.
One time I referenced Moosh and Twist and Nick lit up. Dude, I love Moosh and Twist.
I'll never forget this because it was like the time in high school when my Spanish teacher said you like Big L me too.
I'm like, what?
Old people are cool.
I was like, dude, I'm like, you know, motion twist.
That's crazy.
You know, emotion twist is like two songs that I would never because my friend at the time was like a heavy.
He was like on an amateur team.
He was sick at Cod.
He like had a machinima thing. And I like he like used my computer for stuff because he didn't have one and so i just
kind of like i listened to the music he listened to and now he's like uh he's got like a kid and
he's racist so it's like you know that's how it's damn that's sick but by the way speaking of that
is a true combo why is the kid racist oh no he's. The kid is probably on the way. Okay. But if you were good at COD and you lived in like the middle of America, you always
became racist.
Yeah.
But if you're on the West Coast, you just like got like a G Fuel flavor.
What is it?
Yeah.
COD's terrible.
That's the game where they had the N-word speed run.
No.
Yes.
It was.
Yeah.
That video is insane.
TikTok content creator is this black guy who would go in and he'd be like, I don't know
what he would say.
So he would try to bait people to
call me inward. I think he would
just say like, hey, I don't even know
what exactly he would say. What's up guys? I'm a
black man. He'd go into
the lobby and he'd be like, I'm going for a new
strat this time. I'm reducing
I'm going from the BLM strat to the
cutting it down to just
I'm black. And then he would go into the lobby, strat to the to the to cutting it down to just I'm black and then he would go
into the lobby boot up the timer and then
he says like I'm black and then somebody just
says the n-word wait is this so this is a tiktok
this is recent no no it's fake though like
it's like a bit so it's real
no it's a no they're fake real
he has like 20 of them it's fake as fuck
I can totally believe you can just farm
five lollies that speedrun format is like
repeated on YouTube and it's fake.
Yeah, there's like
Tinder speedruns.
There's like,
but that one,
I know exactly
who you're talking about
and he's done,
it's definitely fake.
You think?
Yeah.
On the topic.
I love when Ludwig gets fooled.
I don't think it's fake.
In Italy,
me and Aiden
were in an insane Uber
where-
On the topic of racism.
Dude.
Yes.
Okay.
This is actually insane. I've never encountered this in my life ever and we just clickbait week for saying it
I put all of my friends in a racist uber
How comfortable they would be so we get into an uber which in rome
there's a ton of ubers we didn't know and when we found that out we're like oh shit it's way easier
so we get we're taking ubers everywhere and we uh we get in an uber with this guy and he's super
nice immediately he's like cracking jokes he's like what's he look like tell me what it looks
like he oh he's bald no he looks he looks like have you seen um uh uh the boys were you watching
that with us yeah i wasn't watching he looks like the french guy The Boys? Were you watching that with us? Yeah yeah I wasn't watching
He looks like the French guy
Everyone calls me that guy
Oh he does
He looks like the French guy
Like almost one to one
That's the number one
Person that people
Tell me on Twitter
Hey you look like this guy
You do look like him
I kind of do
No he doesn't
I know I can buy it
And I'm allowed
It's me
I can say it
You don't have the French nose though
I had a big nose
So we get
We get in the Uber What the guy who looks like the guy from The Boys.
And he's cracking jokes.
He's being super nice.
It's like one of the first Ubers that, like, everyone in the car is talking to him or talking to the Uber driver all, like, having a good time.
And then we're going to a town called Trastevere.
I'm probably butchering the pronunciation.
But it's, like, kind of like where all the good food is and, like, a lot of young people spend time there.
And we're uh getting close and he he kind of out of nowhere he goes like yeah yeah where people drink have a good time here's a couple bars that you
guys should go to um but then he kind of like takes this weird turn he goes uh don't buy any
drugs while you're here yeah don't do any drugs in the he goes don't do any drugs in the area
and we're like oh yeah you know, that's not really a problem here.
And he goes, yeah, keep the drugs off the streets here.
He kind of changes the phrasing up a little bit.
He goes, keep the drugs out of the streets here.
And we're like, not really a problem.
Do you think we're going to sell drugs?
I'm kind of confused.
We are hungry.
And then out of nowhere, he drops the line.
There are a lot of N-word men here who are selling drugs.
So don't buy any of them.
Yeah.
Insane.
And hard R.
The hardest R possible.
Me, Nick, and Zipper 2 all make simultaneous eye contact.
We all go.
But Cutie somehow misses them. all make simultaneous eye contact. We all go, dude, like just,
but,
but cutie,
cutie somehow misses them.
She misses,
this is this,
because he says it with an accent, right?
And to be fair,
I kind of heard this as well.
She heard,
she heard the phrase armed men.
Okay.
So she thought,
because like there are a lot of like,
there are a lot of like military officers around,
right?
She goes,
oh,
interesting. She just like continues the conversation without a beat and we're like me nick and lexie are like and like maybe she's just trying to like get out of this weird spot
and just make sure because we're almost at the destination we're like literally 60 seconds away
and we all get out of the car and we're all like dude what the fuck because i have
i have never heard someone say it like that ever in person yeah and uh it was fucking and we're
all talking about it and cutie's just like he's just like what and we're and we're like yes like
he just he just said it like very very explicitly he said it like we were all fucking on the same page.
Yeah, that was the bad part.
It was like that Bill Burr bit where he's talking about sitting in a bar with a guy who's kind of feeding you the racist fishing line and just waiting to show up.
Yeah, it was like that.
He wanted us to be like, ah, yeah, we get it.
Except there was no fishing line.
Yeah, he thought you guys were going to be like, we didn't know we were fishing you're supposed to work yourself there like hey this
whole vax thing's kind of weird yeah he didn't he had no he had no softballs speaking of which
that happened this morning at the airport i don't really want to explain my like an airport story
because i don't think it's that interesting yeah but one thing did happen while i was talking to like a like a help person assistant sort of person with my covid test and uh she's like walking me through
it there's another american guy who's like waiting to basically do the same thing as me and i'm like
complaining to him because i got fucked over on some covid test stuff while i was in the uk
and he's crazy and he. And he's like pissed.
He's like, yeah, they're good at taking- Aiden leaned over and went, Mondays.
He spoke to me first, to be fair.
He's like, hey, my brother used to play Fortnite.
He just leans over and goes,
yeah, so his tag was addity?
And now he's actually immortal in Valorant.
The guy was like, what?
and now he's actually immortal in valor the guy was like um he was uh he he's like basically complaining that like yeah they also like took his money for the test but he never
got anything back either and then he's like unironically he's like this is why socialism
doesn't work it's it's not about tests it's not about safety it's about control and i'm just like
well i i i was like i i do the light
counter argument i'm like well i was just in sweden and italy and it was like fine there like
it's i think it's just the uk is kind of bad like but he was doing the exact same thing it's like
the guy at the football game with you right you have a british accent uh no he was he was american
yeah so i think it's just like these there's always those little situations
where somebody like finally tosses out the line and they just want you to hop on board but you
don't want to like get in a fight with them and you just want to exit the conversation dude i got
trapped in uh on the plane to indiana when i went to full bloom the last full bloom that was i went
like i took a flight uh alone and i was with this guy. I sat down, and he starts talking to me immediately.
And I'm like, God damn it.
Fuck, shit.
God damn it.
That's Aiden's dream.
Right?
And he's like this older guy, and he's like, hey, please turn off your device.
Put it in airplane mode.
He's like, you don't really have to do that.
I was in the Navy.
Like, I know how electronics work.
And I was just like, that's crazy.
And he just starts talking.
I saw the episode of Mythbusters.
He's like, yeah, I was in the Navy for years. Like, it's fine. It doesn't interfere with the plane. I'm like, oh, that's crazy. And he just starts talking. I saw the episode of Mythbusters. He's like, yeah, I was in the Navy for years.
Like, it's fine.
It doesn't interfere with the plane.
I'm like, oh, that's cool.
I didn't know that.
And so he's, and then the second thing he says, he's like, yeah, you know, but it's like a regulations thing.
And I'm like, yeah, well, you know, regulations are good.
And then he's like, yeah, but people like AOC keep pushing them.
It was like, it was like your guys' Uber guy, but without the N-word.
He just went from zero to 60, and he's like,
all right, let's talk about it.
I literally spent the whole plane ride talking to this guy,
just trying to understand him, and it was insane.
He just kept arguing me.
He's like, you know who was a fascist?
And I'm like, no.
He's like, Mussolini.
And I'm like, all right. He's like, you know what else he fascist? And I'm like, no. He's like, Mussolini. And I'm like, all right.
He's like, you know what else he was?
A socialist.
And I'm like, yeah, I guess.
I don't know, dude.
It was crazy.
Ain't that one of the Ninja Turtles?
Yeah, with the staff.
But it was so funny because I just kept,
I just kept like probing him and kind of like trolling him.
But I got him to admit, I was like, here's the thing.
I just think that if you get
sick you should be able to go to the hospital and not be in debt for thousands of dollars and he's
like yeah but it like the system doesn't work that way i'm like but what if you didn't have to go in
debt and he's like yeah okay that would be pretty good and i felt so accomplished at this fucking
weird guy and then i got off the plane and I never
I will never see him again
he's probably dead
I mean that happened
with our Uber driver
remember when we went to
the Logan Paul fight
and we had that Uber driver
who was like
he was like
he would just say weird shit
like you know
Michael Jackson wasn't gay
like
that was crazy
yeah
he was
no cause he was talking
about Lil Nas X
yeah
he's like
he's not gay
he's pretending
he's pretending to be gay for views.
I know he comes through in this area a lot.
Yeah, and he's like, Michael Jackson was the same.
And it's like, I don't think that people thought Michael Jackson was gay.
I thought that.
Yeah.
So it's like we're sitting in the Uber, and it's like, this guy controls my life.
Yeah.
I'm just like, yeah, that's crazy, man.
That's all you can say to an Uber.
I know, because you don't want to get in a fight with the guy dude the uber so like that that story we are the story i told were like ludwig fucking
fucked me at the bellagio fountain uh so the oh yeah the uber i took to leave that
the guy was like so i have all my camera gear with me and i'm in that uber and this guy's like uh oh
so what are you doing down here with a camera i'm'm like, I don't want to explain the whole story of what just happened, so I'm like,
oh, I'm doing a shoot here.
And he goes, oh, you shooting girls?
I was going to make a joke that he was going to say that.
I can't believe he actually said that.
I'm like, oh, no, actually.
I'm just like, it's like a thing for like-
Hey, you shooting minge or what?
And then he goes, yeah, man, you're shooting girls.
And I'm like, no, I'm just shooting my friends.
The whole event thing, like Smash, I'm trying to explain.
And he goes, hey, you shooting some gash, partner?
There's a lot of girls out here, though.
And I'm like, what are you doing?
Gash is so crass.
Yeah, gash is very crass.
Dude, but they can just go like, damn, are there girls?
He's like turning left. Are there girls? There's there girls there's girls though right yeah into the fountain say there's girls or you die so i'm
like you all you can really expect to and like i feel so terrible like terrible for like women who
are in ubers and like they have like a guy who's like being weird or creepy that's like an entirely
different thing i think i'm pulled back into that reality on occasion by specifically older men and like not this happened on my uber home today he was just
we were honestly having a great conversation like the almost the whole way through and then we get
around to like uh like just traveling he he was from the middle east and he was talking about
traveling to uh like different parts of the middle east and i was saying like oh the only part i've been to is the uae and he's like oh you go there man you're like you're
you're a nice young you know 24 year old man you'll have like it's basically describing about
like how i'll have loads of women and how he doesn't get that at his age like european boomers
i'm not i'm not traveling he's like he's like polishing a gun kind of more he's like i'm
more of a sightseeing guy like i i don't know it it's weird how people approach that conversation
yeah it's a it's a trend i feel with like european older men where they're just like yeah it's about
you know you gotta get dude my dad he was like he i told him i was going to italy he's like you
gotta get with a nice italian girl
you gotta find an italian girl like a pretty italian girl and i'm like shut the fuck up
you're weird go be a cunt like your dad oh yeah bleep those for youtube so so something that
kind of off topic unless you want to add to that but uh yo i do one time uh we were
because toph was here and we were talking about um we're talking about d1 and i i remember i was
like we were talking about how he kind of was like back then and stuff and how i i always like
thought he was a fucking weirdo and he always um there was this time and that he he like cornered
me at hugo's party, and he was just crying.
And he literally was just crying and was like, you didn't invite me to Ultimate Summit 1, and it just, like, you know, it crushed me, bro.
And I'm, like, trying to have a conversation with a friend, and it was, like, the most awkward shit of my life.
And, like, my experiences with him were always, like, peppered with, like, weird shit like that.
But it made me remember when I was talking to Toph, he did this thing once.
It was at a tournament.
I forget where.
It was one of like the champ venue, like that hotel.
And I walked by him and he always was like,
hey, what's up?
And I'm like, hey, what's up, man?
He's like, hey, we're going to a party later.
You know, you want to come?
And I'm like, no, I don't like parties.
He's like, a lot of girls there, a lot of IG models.
You see a lot of IG models.
Looking back, that's so haunting now.
Yeah, dude.
To hear that conversation has happened.
And I was just like, I already said no.
And that's just weird.
Dude, the party that you're referencing where he cried to you.
Dude.
It was probably the most cursed party of all time.
Because we were talking to Toph about all that shit.
Like Hugo's birthday party.
I think it was like a coming home party.
No, I think it was his birthday party.
I have heard so many stories about this party,
and I was supposed to fly down that weekend to go to it.
I think it was literally only cursed for us.
This party was particularly fucking cursed,
because I won't name who, but an unnamed smasher
rolls up to a setup that
me and dunk are on and uh me and dunk are having a grand old time playing melee together and unnamed
smasher comes up and uh starts playing with us and uh is like kind of silently rotating characters
and not winning any games and like can't tell if they're salty or just like being weird or what's
going on really um but i wasn't salty they're too they're too good to be losing to either of us um
on comes this person's significant other so this person's significant other rolls up to the setup
says can i play and me and dunk being normal human beings go yeah absolutely you can play
we'll play doubles uh me and dunkle team the smasher says no
you can't play here and and me and dunk look at each other like dating each other they're dating
me and dunk look at each other kind of like is he kidding and and then uh she's like what and we're
like come on you know let her play and he he just doesn't say anything so then she sits down she's
like having a grand time, picks up a controller
and she's not very good at Smash really.
We don't care.
And as the game starts,
an unnamed Smasher
immediately starts fighting her
on his own team
and taking all of her stuff.
In doubles and melee,
friendly fire is on.
Friendly fire is on.
You have to be careful.
You can hit your teammate.
You're not supposed to. You're supposed to hit the other that's actually a sick sick way
to fight in a relationship so the most toxic like let's queue up ranked valorant and let me take
your mmr it's so much more passive this smasher starts taking his so stocks immediately until
she has none left and me and dunk are like uh and he starts fighting the
two of us just 1v2 yeah we win just to stall out we just so like just like because he would rather
play alone yeah it's more fun for him for some reason uh so we do that and then we play another
game he does again and then he does it for a third time and then she just gets up and leaves
i'll never forget it dude he was He was smiling like the Joker. Dude.
It was fucking crazy.
I could tell 18 stories about this couple.
I won't because then they're just going to be identified.
But they are a nightmare couple.
Dude.
I will.
It was crazy.
Transition it to a nightmare couple.
I've never talked about this to any of you guys.
But I lived with a couple in my sophomore year of college.
So it was me and my best friend Josh from Arizona
and then this couple.
And they started out super sweet.
They're like, hey, yeah, you guys can use your stuff
because they had like a bunch of shit already
because their parents were loaded.
And I was like, yeah, tight, tight, tight.
And slowly and slowly,
I think it was like just the girl kept getting mad at us
and would, I think think talk to her boyfriend
and they would set more and more strict rules like uh they put a line on the burrita like with
a sharpie and they say you have to fill to this point i like you say burrita like burrita yeah
like a gun yeah you have to set it to to this point. And it escalated until you guys have never seen me like this.
I had a yelling match at them with a guy.
Almost fought the guy.
Really?
I've never seen you like this?
I guess.
I've seen you like this.
Have we talked about that?
Is this the only one?
If you only once though, right?
Well, are we talking Mario Party?
I'm talking Mario Party.
I've seen you yelling and fighting before.
I don't remember this.
Wait. You're talking about you don't remember. No, Mario Party.'ve seen you yelling and fighting before I don't remember this wait talking about you don't remember Mario Party I'm so drunk being an insane Mario Party menace yeah
insane I've washed this from my memory dude you explain this like this is where the yard like we
talked about it the yard came from Ludwig being a fucking insane menace and just challenging Ben
to fights who also would challenge him they together they're
like this insane like unstoppable chaos ball where it's just like hey fuck you like fuck you
dude i'll never and then you'll just like get him dude if you go if you go on youtube and you type
in see us go not cs go see us go i think it's two uh there's a video in the very beginning i think it's the
second one uh the video in the very beginning and it's ludwig choking out our friend ben is that the
one where i'm filming yes yeah and that was my old setup i'm in like the common area so this is when
this is when slime's whole life was in the my living room of the home i lived in and uh and
he had this clothing rack that was down there yeah he was begging them
to like get away from the clothing rack because they were they were fighting ludwig has his has
his dear friend in a fucking deathly chokehold and he ben is wearing sunglasses inside yeah
it's nighttime and our friend miles is throwing i I'll never forget, these caveman punches.
Oh, dude.
He was throwing punches like this.
Yeah.
At Ludwig's Abbey.
He was like Afro Thunder.
Audio listeners, Nick is kind of like clothes lining.
Yeah.
I'm kind of like throwing a very wide hook shot to the kidneys.
And they ended up falling on Slime's fucking clothes.
The one thing he's like begging them to stay away from,
they fall on it and break it.
And I remember I was just like, oh, he's going to be so mad.
I look over at him, and he is so mad.
No, no, but I recorded it.
Yes.
So I'm literally in the shot doing the peace sign,
and it's behind me.
But I don't think they broke it on camera.
They definitely fall on it. We definitely broke that shit, and you were so sad. But I don't think they broke it on camera. They definitely fall on it.
We definitely broke that shit
and you were so sad.
I was upset, yeah.
Because your whole life was that clothing.
It was like in that clothing.
You were so poor.
It was the closet upstairs.
Without it, his things exist nowhere.
Yeah.
I remember after meeting Slime,
after like a year,
I thought to myself
that I had made your life remarkably worse.
Because like when I had met you, you had that like full-time job.
You're like, yeah.
Yeah, I wore a tie to work.
You had like a good amount in savings.
Like you had your shit together.
And then I think it was me.
Like I kind of inspired you to gamble a bit because I was really into gambling.
Yeah.
And then you went down a fucking hole.
Yeah.
And you lost a lot gambling.
Yeah. You lost so much you gave him
an arc though yeah well it got better but i there was a bottom and i remember he lost so much
gambling he's like yeah i got like a thousand maybe and i remember we sat at the casino in vegas
and you're like don't tell anyone this but i'm gonna leak it out you're like don't tell me this
whatever the past year i've lost like 15k game it was 20k 20k yeah you it now. And you're like, don't tell me this. Whatever the past year I've lost 15K.
It was 20K.
20K.
Yeah.
You don't remember.
Yeah.
You're like,
I remember that we were in the,
we were in like the,
it was the New York,
New York.
Yeah.
20K at the time.
It was,
it was literally his whole savings.
And I,
and I,
that thought for like the next month,
I was like,
man,
I ruined this guy's life.
Really?
You thought that if I felt some sort of remorse at all about anything?
Yeah.
I think I've mentioned this to you before,
but I felt terrible, and I was like,
and that's what inspired me to become successful on YouTube.
To bail him out?
The only payback is you just saying that
me doing Bad Melee inspired you to become Ludwig Anders.
Yeah.
Say it again.
Well.
I've never
told you this, but there was
a time in my life where I thought I had
the potential to maybe ruin
your life, and I didn't know what to do.
And this is
what happened. So you
obviously remember this because it was a
Claremont Weekly Smash Tournament
where on the way
there, you got in a car accident.
Yeah.
I got rear-ended in the first
dealership car I've ever got.
But it was going like 60 or something, right?
Yeah, it was a used Toyota
and I got fucking rear-ended
and I got whiplash.
I was totally not at fault
but I didn't have gap insurance.
It sucked.
So at the time,
I'm still in the zone
where I'm pretty sure
Anthony doesn't like me.
But I consider us like friends slash acquaintances.
We will talk if he is there.
You're special.
And he comes over to my house all the time for the weekly tournament that we throw at our place.
And so Anthony, I think he messages us.
I somehow find out that he's been in a car accident.
I assure that he's okay.
I think I told Viddy Waffles.
I think you told V-Money or like i think he told v money or video yeah but um either way you still come up you still show up to the local and enter i don't yeah and i would you're that that's your
miles teller in whiplash dude that's getting destroyed at the intersection and still rolling
up bloody to the local if you ever think that i wasn't fucking about it just this is true this happened and i remember uh so at this local it was at the
campus but you had to be let in because the doors lock from the outside so i went down to let uh
anthony into the building and i went down and i was just like dude are you okay and he's you're
like you were like very shook up but you were like yeah I'm fine. And I was like, he seems like...
This guy seems like he was just in a car accident.
You can kind of tell from your emotions that you were shaken up despite saying you were fine.
The adrenaline of a car accident is nuts.
I was so...
I don't think...
There are two times I've been that angry in my life.
That happened, and then when you slapped me on the back when we played Mario Party.
That's crazy that those are equivalent.
Yeah.
I guess that's how strong I am.
I am equivalent to you getting a car.
You're like getting rear-ended by a car.
Me and Ludwig are on the same team in Mario Party.
He slaps my back.
We're like down five stars on turn five,
and he slaps my back,
and I'm so mad we're losing.
Slaps in an encouraging way
because we had won the game.
Yeah, because we're shirtless, too.
We're skins.
I guess my slap goes zero to 60.
It hurt so bad,
and I was like,
don't you fucking ever hit me like that.
I was ready to go outside.
I explain this a lot, but you were like,
hey, relax, kiddo.
You'd be pulling this pod in a wheelchair, bro.
He'd hate it.
But I was ready to die.
Atrioc at the crap table.
Oh my god.
Yeah, we talked about that before.
I was ready to die that day when you slapped me.
I was like, I know he'll fucking, he could break me in half.
I don't care.
I want a chance.
Anyway, I get in that crash, by the way, and I get rear-ended,
and I'm just like so fucking pissed off.
And I was in the left lane but not the HOV,
and the car ahead of me, I got pushed forward,
but it didn't hit the car ahead of me, which was cool,
because we were all stopped because of traffic.
This guy just wasn't paying attention.
It slams into me,
and it shut down the entire 210.
Like, if you're ever in an act,
like, on the road,
and you're just like,
wow, this fucking sucks.
It's taking forever.
I was the reason for that.
Well, that guy was.
And they, like,
had to scoot my car off of the road
with a cop car.
Your car got fucked up.
It was total.
It was fucked up.
But I went to the local.
Gang shit. Still gamed. That is pretty up. But I went to the local. Gang shit.
Still gamed.
That is pretty gang.
So Slime and I climb the stairs to go to where the local is being held.
For me to find that I play him.
The next match in bracket is me versus him.
What Slime does not know is that I have just, before finding out that all this has happened, I have just made a bet with our friend Video Waffles that I can make top three at this tournament playing only Ness.
And so I'm in a position where Slime has just gotten into a car wreck.
He has shaken up.
His mental's low.
He's not going to be playing at peak.
And I have committed to playing a low tier.
Bottom three character in the game.
For the layman, this character is garbage.
And at the time, there was lore of my Ness versus Anthony
because I pulled out Ness in a crew battle once
and won that game versus him.
So there was history of that character and him.
And I had to make this decision And I had to make this decision.
Play Falco, bro.
I had to make this decision.
I was like,
will I fucking completely ruin it?
Don't tell me you did it.
And I played Ness.
That's right.
You're a psychopath.
That's right.
Nick is actually,
I hope you guys never have to experience
playing Melee against Nick.
Nick is the biggest piece of shit on the Melee 6. Because he has
this weird pride with his Ness.
No one wants to play your Ness.
No one ever wants to sit down and be like
yeah, Ness, that's who I want to play
against now. He'll sit you down and be like, you have to
play it. And then if you win, he'll be like
whatever, it's a Ness. And if he wins, he's like
oh my god! Oh my god!
I call it the Ringler effect.
It's Low Chew Option Select. It's old as time. Wait, did you win? I forget. I call it the Ringler effect. It's low-chip option select.
It's old as time.
Wait, did you win?
I forget.
I did.
You did?
I thought I won.
No, I won.
I won Falcon.
I remember that.
I think the one that you won was at the Yes.
Dude, yeah, that is true.
Man, I should have just killed myself right there.
I was worried that that might happen.
But you still did it.
No, you weren't worried.
You didn't care.
What if I went and did it, bro? I'm sure he was worried.
It was the worst day of my life.
And my mom died once.
Suicide note says, okay.
Well, that part's not my fault.
Imagine, though.
Imagine.
Yeah.
That was insane that you did.
You know what else happened at the tournament? You fell to your funeral in the striped shirt. Who was Yeah. That was insane that you did.
You know what else happened at the tournament? Show up to your funeral in the striped shirt.
Who was the guy that was like...
You got the fucking wheeler.
You know what's funny?
I think I lost to you in winners, and I played that guy.
And he said, dude, because I think I was already pissed that I lost to you.
And then I was pissed that I got in a car accident, and my whole mind is just rattled.
I literally rode the tow truck i
rode the tow truck and then got an uber to the tournament and got there in time that's how i
that's what i did that's crazy and so and i'm playing and what dude what did he do he did
something during like stage striking where he like he did something that was like out of line like he
did it in the wrong order and i said that's not how that goes i've been this or something like that and he got really scared
because i was being really fucking aggressive toward him he's like i don't like the way you're
talking to me right now and i'm like i'm sorry i was in a car accident and i apologize and we
played sorry i just had a horrible accident And I was hit by a car earlier.
And then we played it. It was fine. But yeah, that was
crazy. That guy once in my own home
told me to get up and shut the front door.
Like, the front door of our house was open.
And he was like, go close that. That's some shit Aiden would do.
And I was like, I looked at him and I said,
you just tell me to go shut my own
door? I was so confused.
What if it was that stray
bullet, dude?
Got him, coach. He's still reeling from the
car accident, don't be mean.
That's for falling asleep during the fucking
premium decom. Oh my god.
You know what happened? Of course I know.
It happened twice.
You fell asleep during the...
No, it happened.
He fell asleep during it once, but then he
didn't do the show the next night for being tired.
Okay.
To be clear, he was at like a Michelin guide restaurant.
All right.
And he was falling asleep at the table.
Oh, you're on his team.
No, I'm saying the stars were all aligned.
He wasn't just falling asleep.
He was off a few wines.
And Ludwig kept leaning over to me. It was actually really funny And Ludwig kept leaning over to me.
It was actually really funny. Ludwig kept leaning over to me
and going like this with his eyes. He'd point over to Aiden with his eyes.
I'd look over and Aiden's literally like this.
He's like...
Eyes closed. Like in an airplane seat.
And he'd look at me and go,
he's not watching Lizzie.
For context,
this is our Patreon. Our second tier, we have
two shows. One's an advice show with Nick and aiden and the other is a watch along with
disney channel original movies i wasn't there so it's gonna be nick and aiden watching along
you can watch along at home and then um basically that's that's that and what happened is that aiden
fell asleep during the recording of that which i was chastising him for earlier because i'm like
you always finish the job i was fighting for my goddamn life because i had an allergic reaction at the at the dinner that we
were at the night before so i took or sorry the night of so i took a benadryl and benadryl like
my body like benadryl makes you drowsy but my body it knocks me out like when i take a benadryl
it's like 12 melatonin for me so i take a benadryl knowing it's like 12 melatonin for me. So I take a Benadryl knowing damn well I'm going to be fighting for my fucking goddamn life during this decom.
But I'm getting through it.
So I'm on the couch.
And the Benadryl starts hitting a little bit earlier than I thought it would.
And I'm sitting there.
And I'm still cracking jokes.
I'm still making it fucking happen.
I get to a point where I have made like 10 jokes with no input from Aiden.
I was there for the first 20.
And I'm so mad because I'm like,
I'm like, damn, I guess Slime's just better at this.
And then I look over, and I'm like...
And he's just fucking out.
And I'm like...
How dare you?
I'm like, alright, if he's asleep...
And I chastise him for this, and then he's like,
yeah, I fell asleep on melee commentary once.
And I'm like, okay, well, you're just a fucking...
You just don't respect the game.
Hey, it wouldn't have happened if you didn't leave.
That's true. I did go home early. That's well, you're just a fucking... You just don't respect the game. Hey, it wouldn't have happened if you didn't leave. That's true.
I did go home early.
That's true.
I will say the only...
I'm not mad at you leaving early.
The one thing that I found out that I think you're a psychopath for is we had, like, a
shit ton of suitcases for the yard equipment.
Yeah.
And then also, we bought things there, and then also, it was, like, eight people's things
that we had to bring back.
So, like, everyone had, like, doubled up suitcases.
And you left stuff.
And Slime was coming back, and he came with one suitcase,
and it was like the Pelican where we keep all the equipment.
And then on the way back, he's like, I'm not taking this.
I'm using my one time.
I didn't say it like that.
Look, look, I'm going to defend him.
I'm going to defend him.
He used his one time.
Yeah.
Which doesn't exist for that.
He said, I'm using my one. No, for me it does. He said, I'm using my one time. he said doesn't exist for that he said i'm using my one
no for me it does he said i'm using my one time and i said damn that's crazy because you could
have used it on something way more valuable because i knew how inconsiderate it was being
and i'm like listen i just don't this is i i usually will break my back to not like be
inconsiderate that's the weird part i. I'm prickly old slime, but like
so I was like, this is my one time.
I'm defending him here, but the problem where
I stopped defending him is
what he didn't take on top of the
pelican. Ludwig.
Dude. Let me read.
Let me just read the message and then
we can tell the story backwards.
Let's tell the story backwards. I'm going to read
this message that Ludwig sent to me.
Like an artful movie.
Which is crazy.
Yeah, this is the memento of being friends.
This is the part in Tenet where they start moving in reverse,
and you're like, oh, I get it.
I rewatched Tenet on the plane.
He said, I'm not going to bring it,
and you are on hood watch as a bad friend.
Okay.
So telling this now backwards me me
ludwig i i we got a whole fucking group yeah fucking austin whatever your name is it was there
yeah and we uh we see on the street that there is a um a chess store which is crazy by the way this
happens to be very common in italy of them every single single Airbnb that we found had a chessboard in it.
Yeah.
And then there was
a bunch of chess stores
that like made custom
chessboards and pieces.
No Italians in the top ten
by the way.
Yeah.
They're super into chess.
They also don't know
what the horse does.
No reason to have that.
The chessboard was set up wrong.
Yeah.
The king is just like Carbonara.
So we walk in
because we're like
oh this is fucking dope
and we're like looking
at all the boards
and we stumble upon
this nasty little item this little trinket if you will
do dad uh and it's like these uh two skeletons what are they doing they're playing chess they're
playing poker they're playing poker it's two skeletons playing poker and the first thing i
said was anthony would really like that yeah and then ludwig looks at me and he's like should i
buy a form and i'm like if you buy a form he will like it and then's like, should I buy it for him? And I'm like, if you buy it for him, he will like it.
And then he goes, okay, I'll buy it for him.
How much was it?
Well, actually what I said is if he doesn't like it, you have to pay for it.
Yeah, yeah. If he doesn't like it, you pay for it.
I said, do you want to go have these on?
So you made a gamble on my liking it.
Because I wanted to pay for half of it because I wanted to give you a thing from us.
And he's like, well, you can pay for it if he doesn't like it.
I think it was like 60 euros, right?
It was 70 euros.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, so it was like 80 bucks. And thenony didn't take it with him we flew home he just left it i showed it to anthony he was like oh man this is cool he's
really nice about it and then he disappeared right because he went to go home i didn't say
goodbye to him because i think it was out when he left uh and then i look and it was still there
yeah and then i looked zero messages from him. And I reach out and I
go, you left it? And he goes, oh yeah
I couldn't fit it, can you bring it? I said I didn't have space in my
bag and the problem was
that I didn't say to the group, hey
can someone take my skeleton statue?
Because I literally, I bought a
jacket, it's the only thing I bought there and I could
I was swapping out my inventory like fucking
Minecraft. I just couldn't fit it.
And I didn't want to take it out and then put it in there and maybe it breaks.
It's kind of fragile.
So I just didn't bring it and I didn't tell anyone to bring it.
I was just going to do that later because I was lazy to message, which I'm sure is something you can do.
Hey, I'm going to give you a tip.
It's better when you do message people.
And it's crazy that you say that because you also can't say shit about him treating his friends' gifts poorly.
Because one time, back when we didn't have shit, I bought Ludwig a copy of...
Back when we had nothing!
Back when...
Ludwig, that is so loud.
I bought Ludwig a copy of Mario Party when I went to Japan from a store that was in the box, Nintendo 64 game.
I put it in my special spot.
You're a piece of shit. His special spot,
the fucking floor of his room
under laundry,
and he had stepped on it.
Yeah.
Within days of getting it.
Within days of getting it,
and also for eight months.
It just fucking stayed there.
That's where I put things that I like.
Either way.
And I can actually defend that
because I constantly find
his dead father's ring
in the carpet of our home.
Dude.
One day you're going to lose it.
You love that guy.
You're going to lose your dead father's cool ring, and you're going to be sad.
That's where I put my things.
Dude, you're insane.
Yeah, you are insane.
I have not lost something in a while.
Your mind, maybe?
Tell you what.
Wallet?
You just.
I didn't lose it.
Oh, did we tell them where you lost it?
Yeah.
If DCOM listeners would know, because we found out while watching it.
If you're in the Patreon, where our bonus content lives.
It's funny.
That DCOM episode came out, and the first comment about the episode was, there's no
shot it was in his backpack.
Yeah.
Well, tell the story.
So I had come back from a trip.
I forget where to.
I think Boston.
Yeah. Well, no. You did streamer stuff oh yeah it was shit camp and uh i didn't pack my stuff because we had
to like get out of there so cutie just like grabbed all my shit and put it somewhere and i was like
damn because i had no idea where anything was and there was a bunch of shit i brought and i couldn't
find my wallet and i was like ah shit and i just took the l and i was like slime i lost my wallet. And I was like, ah, shit. And I just took the L and I was like, slime, I lost my wallet.
Because you thought
you lost it at a bar.
Yeah.
Like a Hollywood bar.
Yeah.
And then I tried calling
and you're like,
I think I lost it here.
You need to call them
and find out.
I'm like, all right.
And so I call.
No one's picking up.
It's like they're open
at night hours.
I try calling night hours.
They're not picking up.
I tried two days in a row.
I'm like, you know,
I'll just drive out there.
Fuck it.
Drove to the bar.
I'll take a little trip.
I drove to the bar alone.
I go, open this stupid fucking fridge door. There'll just drive out there. Fuck it. Drove to the bar. I'll take a little trip. I drove to the bar alone. I go, open this
stupid fucking fridge door. There's so
many people there. There's so many young people
in the world. Yeah, there are. Isn't that crazy?
It's a cool bar. It's like Good Time at
Davey Wayne's or something. I go there. And it's like a fake
bar. And I ask if there's
a wallet. They say, no Meggies.
And they say, mommy, mommy, come me.
And I was like, that's weird. Which conversation
is worse? Mine and yours or theirs? And so, yeah. And it just wasn't there. So I'm like, Mommy, Mommy, come me. And I was like, that's weird. Which conversation's worse, mine and yours or theirs?
And so, yeah, and it just wasn't there.
So I'm like, well, you're a piece of shit.
So I cancel all the cards in there, like all of his cards, his personal ones, his business ones.
And then she finds it in your fucking backpack.
It was in my backpack.
What was so much funnier about this is that happening and then you complaining about all your auto pay stuff
canceling because he had to cancel your cards yeah i was actually i'm happy with it because i found
out how much shit i'm paying for monthly that i should not be paying for i was paying 30 a month
for motion array what is what is that motion array is like a graphics package like down like
in vato elements it's like one of those download site. It's like Envato Elements.
It's like one of those websites where you buy templates to make intros for YouTube videos and shit.
I used it to make the intro for LACS two years ago.
And I've been paying $30 a month for two years.
And I didn't know.
And it got canceled.
And I was like, good.
Yeah, this actually might have been a blessing.
It's the audio jungle of motion graphics.
Yeah.
I was paying for like two Hulu accounts.
Well, you know what you don't have to pay for?
What?
Coinbase.
That's true.
Sheesh, man.
And for the first time ever, we have Coinbase.
Bro, let me say it.
Let me say it.
We have a code.
Oh!
I thought you were going to say the code.
Yeah, I thought you were going to say the code.
No, you use that part.
What's the code?
Code is Coinbase.com forward slash the yard.
Hey.
Clean.
Paisano.
All right, and if you use that code, you'll get $10 free in Bitcoin.
Straight up, you just make, you got to make sure you use the code, so you have to go to
that specific URL.
So you have to go to coinbase.com forward slash theyard, and you get $10 free in Bitcoin.
You can start trading cryptocurrencies.
It only took 16 episodes, but we got the goddamn.
We got there four months later.
It's our sweet 16.
You know what I did last night before I took my flight?
What?
Bought some Bitcoin on Coinbase.
What?
You're a piece of shit.
Oh, are we done?
Sorry, has this been a minute?
Hold up.
We're going to get to a minute.
You have no concept of time.
I don't. And that's Coinbase. And that's Amore. We're going to get to... You have no concept of time.
I don't.
And that's Coinbase. And that's Amore.
And Amore.
Anyway, please check out Coinbase.
Please use the code if you guys are new to Coinbase.
Use the code LucaBrazi.
And get involved.
Use code LucaBrazi.
Get strangled in the Godfather for 15% or more on car insurance.
Aiden cares more about material things than his friends.
That's true.
I've always said that, too.
Are you talking about this after I just said I bought Bitcoin?
It's just that I can wear this shirt every day,
and I don't see you every day.
This isn't something I can touch.
And before we reprimand me for the hundredth time,
I want to read a five-star review.
Oh, more shilling?
This is Aiden's thing.
Aiden likes the five-star reviews.
From Jakers, the review titled,
This is a scam.
Five stars.
This podcast is some type of awful pyramid scheme
aimed to take your money.
I should have guessed it considering the fact that slime is bald,
but I still got swindled.
I repeat, this is a scam.
The whole show is a terrible scam.
And then he says, coinbase.com slash the yard,
which says, let's go.
Oh, by the way, that's an Apple podcast review, right?
That is.
Yeah, it's still listed at the hosts as
amon ross it's still on there yeah because i think they just pull it once they don't like
yeah so some guy at apple was just like oh i don't fucking know yeah and never looked at it
again it would have been funny if your name was like pussy boy yeah or or homer sibian yeah you
know oh god one more opportunities were you triplepping another no no no no I don't get your master your master says gone
Yeah, I don't want to see it yeah, I want to see and you already talked about the paper
You're on plug and shut up your ass. Let me let me okay. Let me actually patreon your your fucking okay, so what?
Dang an extra day What, dude?
I'm telling you what
Don't say what again
Say what again
Say it again
Everyone ended up staying an extra day
In Rome, obviously with the exception of Slimey Left Early
You were in Rome, I was in Roma
Fuck me
And Aiden had a plan To go to the UK exception to slime you left early uh you were in rome i was in roma fuck me roma and uh and adan
had a plan to go to the uk and he was like i had his flight for thursday and he like only cost 80
dollars on air sibian whatever there's no seats there's no seats wow there's one
and you stay secure brother it's my flight was on like italy's national airline and i was that was
the last day of them like operating or something you would have been a scab if you took that flight
you would have crossed the picket fence because they were they were rioting because they had to
shut down their airline yeah anyway we were all saying extra extra day. We're like, Eamon, stay, stay. He looks up and he's like, dude, it's going to cost me like $400.
And like, I always have to get like the COVID test.
And I plan that.
And that's 80 quid.
This is all true.
And he's like.
Although Ludwig is saying like $400.
Like, we agree that it's not a lot of money.
Like him.
Like, we can.
Well, no.
I think that's a lot of money.
But right after that, we walk our asses in to a Balenciaga.
And he's like, ooh.
By the way, by the way, let me set this up.
This is after.
Yeah, don't smoke weed, brother.
This is after an entire week of Aiden's.
I bought a lot of shit.
Yeah.
Aiden spent like $2,000 more than I did.
And then he looked at me and he grabbed me
Wait more than you did?
Yes and he grabbed me by the shoulders
He grabbed me by the shoulders and said
I can't spend more money
I can't do it this is after this
After he said all of this
And did all these things
Any store he walked into Montclair
Balenciaga the famous
Shoe store he couldn't walk out without having something.
Dude, we're on the last day, and he looks at me and goes, yeah, can we walk down the street?
There's like an $800 pair of sunglasses I was thinking about buying.
Did he buy them?
Those sunglasses were cash.
The only reason he didn't buy them.
Those sunglasses are so cool.
The only reason he didn't buy them is because it was the opposite direction of dinner, and it would take us more time to go that way.
You're like a Warcraft AI. I talked about this.
You just go where the most need is.
I'm the reason he didn't because even I
I was like, he was looking at the sunglasses
the guy was like, oh check these ones out.
And he was like, oh cool, wow I like them a lot.
And as he's looking at them, I look at the tag and I'm like
800 fucking
euros. I'm like, dude that's like $900.
Not 800 euros. And then Aiden, I'm like, did you see the tag? And he's like, oh yeah it's hot. I'm like dude that's like 900 dollars not 800 euros
and then
and then Aiden
I'm like
did you see the tag
and he's like
oh yeah it's hot
I'm like
are you sure
didn't buy it
but you didn't buy them
no
you didn't buy them
because I say
how about we go to some other stores
and then we'll come back
we can come back to this story
and he's like
oh yeah we'll come back
and then you hem business card
this is a lot coming from Mr.
yeah just get business class just get business class.
Just get business class.
I mean, he makes a lot more money.
I didn't buy a single luxury item.
No, no, no, no, no.
He's telling me to get business class.
I don't see the value in no Balenciaga Gucci head ass.
Okay, so you hemmed and hawed over $400 for what reason?
Like $500.
And you hemmed and hawed.
What was the end price
after actually the new flight?
It was like $250, right?
It ended up dropping randomly.
No, no, but that was only
because it dropped.
We are the same
because you didn't want
to hang out with your friends.
We coin flipped for it.
What we did is I said,
hey, rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
If I win, I pay.
If you win, you pay.
Something like that.
So either way, he had to stay.
Yeah, but I won the coin flip
so he was going gonna pay for it
but then the flight i don't know why but the flight literally dropped by like 300 euros which
made it like a 100 flat i don't know what's going on in the world right now but like customs is a
is a meme right now like all my experience you don't know what's going on in the world
okay oh you don't know all right apparently i can tell you apparently some people are sick right now yeah but it's just a few bro it's some
sort of uh disease i think it's like it's cody's 19th birthday so far the only people the only
people that have cared about covid tests across all these trips are the people at british airways
at the check-in desk those Those are the only people that care.
The UK customs agents didn't check.
The US customs agents didn't check.
The Italian ones didn't check.
Swedish ones didn't check.
Nobody checked.
And at the start of the plot,
I don't want to talk about my airline story.
I'm just saying,
it's crazy that all these documents and things are required to travel right now.
And then you finally get to the place
and then the dude who has the responsibility
of keeping his
country safe is like
yeah let me just stamp this yeah he just couldn't
be fucked he just doesn't care I can't
believe he didn't look me in the eye he didn't even
look at me I'm still thinking about it
it's because you were wearing that fucking sweater
on the way back come on
I did not have it on this was on the way into Italy why not why didn't that fucking sweater on the way back. Come on. I did not have it on.
This was on the way into Italy.
Why not?
Why didn't you wear it on the way back?
Are you ashamed?
Oh, because it's embarrassing.
It's his fortnight.
By the way, I have an announcement.
Oh.
I told Nick this because I had to tell somebody.
Tell.
I was goosing, as one would say.
Oh, my God.
I forgot.
So, again, we keep bringing up the Patreon inadvertently,
but the bonus episode,
I was absent during the first three minutes or so
because I was taking a poop.
In the Italian toilet.
In the Italian...
Which aren't built to handle American dust.
That's right, in the Italian villa.
And something funny about this poop,
I ended up clogging the toilet raw, no paper, right?
Champion shit.
Yeah.
But I took a picture of it before I had known that I clogged it.
Because I thought it was admirable.
I was proud of the poop I took.
I wanted to show you guys.
Don't shake your head like you didn't also clog a toilet on that trip.
I would actually love to sell that shit after.
And so...
By the way, as a feature length shitter it was not it was nothing
to take a picture well yeah you're mango and i'm flash what can i say i'm on my way you're on your
way up i'm on my way and so and so but what i did and i had this this funny idea so i i i minted my
first nft what yeah i minted the nft of my poop of his shit how the picture no way i found
out how to do it you gotta go on like a website yeah and so yes it's on open sea oh i'm not
plugging it it's not for sale you can bid on it but i'm not you're never gonna sell it i don't
know i have a 20 royalty stake and I'm finally in the NFT market.
What's the floor?
Dude, this is the greatest bid of all time, maybe.
What's the floor?
I sent it.
It's confirmed.
It's real.
I sent it to you.
Is it a 1E floor?
There's no floor.
It's just, there's no, I don't know.
It's a bid.
It's a bid.
There's no floor.
You can bid on it, but it says not for sale, and it's on OpenSea, and it's a picture of
my shit, and it's it's on open c and it's a picture of my shit and it says my shit and then
it says a shit i took in italy that clogged the toilet no paper rate my poop.com had this feature
back in the day dude i'm gonna change the game you only get 20 so you can pick like the royalty
amount that you earn every time it's sold and i selected 20 that's high there's a right every
time on here yeah yeah so like every time someone buys it he'll selected 20 that's high there's right every time on here yeah yeah so
like every time someone buys it he'll get 20 right you can buy it more than once yeah every time it
changes hands i buy it and then aiden buys it for more it cost me like 80 banks is gonna buy your
shit that'd be cool the thing is i don't like nft i don't like the environmental thing so it's mostly
a meme i do not want to make money but i thought it was really funny just to send to nick like hey look your shit's banks is watching this right now
because he watches our podcast every week he's like he's like brother capping right now but bro
this one they don't understand this one's gonna go up i'm gonna buy this shit because their their
fans are gonna fuck it this shit's gonna go up, that's crazy. I also clogged a toilet in Italy.
Whoa.
Yeah, he did.
Dude, it was kind of...
And Ludwig did the most Ludwig possible thing.
By the way, real quick, to get rid of that,
there was an Airbnb that we only had for one day.
Oh, yeah.
Because we shot the podcast there.
Poor, sweet, sweet Anna.
And I was going to leave it.
And I was like, yeah, that's just the...
That was so other-pathic.
By the way, that woman asked what we were doing after,
and I sent her the podcast episode.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Well, good thing she's not a fucking patron.
And I was like, yeah, it's just the cost of doing business.
And I told you guys that.
You all scolded me, and I felt bad.
Because it's like a 55-year-old woman.
You're going to leave her a big shit.
There was no plunger.
There was no plunger in the bathroom.
I would have taken care of it by myself.
But I wasn't there, so I was like, whatever. whatever you guys scolded me and so i was like fine so i went and found a ballpoint pen and i went and broke up my shit
like a scientist this is not like a scientist this is not like a scientist this is the most
like depraved bick ad you've ever seen like yeah i don't like chisel it like ice and I broke it up
and it finally flushed
and I was like
hey let's go
and the Final Fantasy
theme played.
Dude the Jigsaw
fart puzzle voice
comes back on.
But it's her.
She's the one
who's in the puzzle.
You've been giving
people shit all year.
Now it's time
for you to give shit.
Anyway you clogged
the toilet.
Yeah well I also
took a big shit
in Italy.
I don't know
something with the wine
and then they didn't have a plunger all they had was the uh like the brushy thing yeah that's what
i'm saying and i'm like i only have a phone number for a guy named mario i can't use the brushy thing
i want to i want like a plunger and so i'm at this like fancy hotel it's like a five-star hotel
austin recommended so i call i call housekeeping and i'm like yo i took a big shit can i get a plunger
i took it a big and a poop you know me i said it exactly like that i said it exactly like that and
they were like trying to connect to their culture yeah they're like oh we don't understand i was
like oh sorry i took a big a poopy uh and and they're like oh yeah okay one second sir hang
up concierge calls me. They go, I heard.
Heard what happened, blood.
Yeah, they say that.
And I'm like.
What's the situation?
I'm not trying to mince words here.
Yeah, I clogged the toilet.
I did that.
That was me.
And they go, okay, we'll send someone up right away.
Was there paper or no?
What do you mean?
Did you try to get it down there before you started wiping?
No, there was paper in there, too.
But you could see the shit.
Bad strat.
And so then Guy comes, and it's just like a man's,
and he's there at the door, and he's super Italian.
No English with this dude.
And I'm like, do you have a plunger?
And he's like, oh, no, I go.
And I'm like, all right, cool.
You'll do it.
That's fine.
He walks in, doesn't whip out a plunger,
just uses the brush and jams it down.
Breaks it up.
Flushes.
And I'm like, what?
We call that the Italian method.
I could have done that.
The Italian job too.
The Italian job and it's just like a close-up of a Bic pen.
I could have done what he did.
He just used the brush. That's not what it's. There was, there's no, he didn't use, he just used the brush.
That's not what it's for.
Well, it was.
Then you just get shit brushed.
Yeah, you got shit brushed.
Rome wasn't built in a day.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, that's what they did in the Colosseum.
Dude, I can't get an American haircut now after doing Italy.
Oh, yeah?
You can't get an Italian one.
You don't want rat tails anymore?
Well, I could fly.
You could.
Italian one?
Dude, Aiden?
Dude, dude, Dude, zipper.
Can you try to bring up the image?
I'm so glad I took a pic.
Of Aiden's fucking Italian haircut.
Dude, I laughed for like five minutes.
It was crazy.
Italian haircuts, first of all,
it's kind of like when you go to one of those bespoke American ones
where they give you beer there.
Oh, there's a picture in Clip Channel
in our personal Discord for the art.
And I was getting my haircut,
and the weirdest thing,
the dude lit a match.
And he started burning the tips of my hair.
He farted.
Well, when I walked in,
I was like,
this smells like cigarettes.
I thought someone was smoking.
They just burn your hair at the end of it
to get rid of split ends or something.
What a fucking backwards town.
Yeah. Zipper, I sent it to you. And the guy had an get rid of split ends or something. What a fucking backwards town. Yeah.
Zipper, I sent it to you. And the guy had
an oil painting
of himself
giving a haircut
in the same seat
I was in.
Dude, that's sick.
That's hard as fuck.
I know.
That's sick.
He was like 65.
He was like balding.
He spoke like
in half sentences
which apparently
is a Roman accent.
So instead of saying
like,
he'd be like,
Oh.
You know who we fucking
Yeah, look at Aiden's This was Aiden's haircut. This is literally the Matrix 4. So instead of saying like, Bonjour, he'd be like, Bonjour. Dude, you know who we fucking, Arriva.
Yeah,
look at Aiden's,
this was Aiden's haircut.
This is literally the Matrix 4.
Dude,
it looks,
those were the glasses,
those were the glasses I didn't buy. It's like,
it's like if they ported Aiden
into fucking a James Bond video game
and he only had so many polygons.
Yeah.
His glasses were so tight.
That his head could be shaped.
These glasses were so tight.
This is odd job
when he takes off the hat.
Dude,
that's so funny.
So how I got this haircut.
Those are $800 glasses.
How I got that haircut was I sat down and I told the guy, I was like, you can do whatever you want.
They gave me the works.
Yeah, just do it.
Like, just don't shave it all off.
Just fuck my shit up, fam.
Yeah, just do whatever you want.
And he gets to the end.
He finishes, like, the cut.
He's like, do you like it?
I'm like, yeah, this is fine. cut. He's like, do you like it? I'm like, yeah, this is fine.
And then he's like, do you want wax?
And I'm like, I don't even know what wax is going to do to this shit.
And then he made it like that.
Why was it shiny?
He became a Deus Ex guy.
I left to go get a tip for these people because I had just enough cash to pay for it like right on.
And I was like, I should tip.
Don't say these people.
Italians.
I know.
So I leave to go find an ATM to tip these people.
It takes me a while because you can't go to banks.
You have to go to this weird ATM spot.
I get back the exact moment he's walking out.
I left to get a $20 tip.
I gave him $10.
I looked at Aiden's head.
You fucked my boy up too good.
You did my boy like that?
In Roma?
You did him up like Sweet James.
It was so funny.
It was Sweet James haircut and lawyering.
Italian honeys crossed the other side of the street when they saw him.
No, come on.
They were scared, bro.
He walked through.
I was getting looks.
Yeah, you were.
Any of you ladies want this Cocacola i got already open so what how would you guys i mean
you were finished finally with the italy trip how would you rate the experience nick crashed
crashed a vespa i crashed a vespa hold on really you're gonna you're gonna blame you're gonna bring
up him crashing a vespa yeah did you crash into one too? No, I didn't crash shit. Yeah, he almost killed me in an intersection.
Really?
He cut in off purposely.
Yeah, in an intersection.
Like it's Mario Kart.
So we're driving Vespas through the street.
We're in the middle of Rome.
Following each other, right?
In the middle of Rome, we're driving in traffic around buses, around cars.
And the way Vespas work there is like you have the full legal right to
basically just crisscross through traffic so any vespas are playing mario kart in the cars or npcs
like on toads it's like grand theft auto highway yeah they're toads turnpike and you're playing
the game and it's honest at some points it's fucking it's so much fun but it's also first
couple days me and aiden like i was brand new to Vespas. We're riding around.
He's, like, my guide.
He has a map out.
And he's like, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
And I'm like, I'm going to fucking kill us.
Wait, are you guys riding separate ones?
No, no, no.
He's on my back.
We're playing Double Dash.
So you're Lizzie.
You're Gordo.
He's holding the items, and I'm mapping us through as Gordo.
And then on the last day, we all get our own.
And we're driving in, like, probably the in probably the first really heavily trafficked area.
And Eamon's shit-talking me as we're riding.
Not actually not doing that.
You were saying little things.
You were like, damn, a little bit slow, huh?
Oh, yeah.
I said that one time.
Did you get a little hard when I said that?
No, when you rode on the back.
Did you get a little boner riding on the back? Did you get a little hard in your dick?? No, when you rode on the back. Did you get a little boner riding on the back?
Did you get a little hard in your dick?
No.
Like the vibration?
He did.
Yeah?
He did.
I could feel it.
I figured.
It was my wallet.
No, I figured.
That's hype.
Good shit.
That's what QD would keep asking me as I was driving.
I was like, I'm too stressed to get hard right now.
I'm just too focused.
The blood's in my brain to think.
But yeah, we are driving through heavy flow traffic.
And at one specific intersection, as it's a red light, Vespas creep up to the top.
Like you can just go in between cars.
And so we all do that.
And I kind of creep in between like the oncoming traffic lane on like the double yellow.
And it goes green.
And I floor that shit.
And I pass by Aiden.
I go, sup, pussy?
and I floor that shit and I pass by Aiden
and I go,
sup pussy?
And Aiden apparently,
allegedly,
was in between a car.
This is such an unfair
I watched all of this happen.
Oh, you saw this?
I was right behind him.
Also,
also zipper two
is on the back of my bike.
What I didn't see,
what I didn't see
was him cut him off
because I was like
doing something
and I look up
because Aiden like
slams his brake
and like hops up a foot and like slams his brake and like
hops up a foot yeah we and like it looked like they hit something yeah we almost like fell over
the reason this happens is because when ludwig chooses to like pull up like that the light is
green but we have to turn left and wait for oncoming traffic so he dives in front of me
but has to stop right away because he can't keep going forward and he can't turn into
oncoming traffic and i slam on the brakes because i can't go right to avoid hitting him because
there's a bus to my right and i slam the brakes in the middle of the intersection so i don't hit
ludwig and so i don't run into the bus and we fall over in the middle of the intersection and i
actually thought we were going to fall into the bus and we fall over in the middle of the intersection and I actually thought we were gonna
fall into the bus but I managed to like stop
the bike. I've never been more fucking
mad at him honestly. Really?
Probably the most I've mad at him.
I felt bad. Cause it's like it's the middle
of a busy intersection. It's like
it is the worst possible
time to fuck around
and he just he cuts me off.
Wow. To sort of out of the
list of psychotic behavior before this so part of getting a Vespa tour is that
you you they don't allow you to do it if you've never ridden one so like you
can't that you can't your best but toward is not also come with a tutorial
you have to have Vespa experience but it's only your word right but it's only
you're all lied but we all lied and but ludwig had like the had like
the i was the most experienced ludwig had like the days to warm up because he rented his own
and was riding around the whole time but i had never ridden one or like even like really a
scooter before i had like experienced like snowmobiles i just assumed it'd be like something
similar to that um but i was like yeah i want to go on this thing so i lied and i was just like
hey aiden because ludwig wasn't around i was like aiden give me a quick crash course on like how this thing works so we're about to go
and i've never used one and he goes he emphasizes this he goes yeah so so don't lean when you're
driving it don't lean just turn and i'm like okay that's simple enough i mean which is what we
learned which is what they told us yeah which is what i learned that was bad advice so i would not
have told anyone so aiden so aiden just tells, don't lean. You're going to want to just turn with your hands.
And I'm like, great. So we get
to the first turn
that we have to go on when we start this tour
is very sharp. It's a complete... It's Tokyo
Drift sharp. It's like a complete
amount of... And so I go
and I hear Aiden's voice, just don't turn.
And I'm like, it's like echoing in the back.
I'm like, yeah, just don't lean.
So I go and I'm like, it's like echoing in the back i'm like yeah it's on my just don't lean so i go and
i'm like it's like it's not turning because you need to fucking lean on on a vespa so i'm doing
that like what's happening and then one thing that he did tell me that like i heard but like
i had to get used to it was the throttle is very sensitive and if you like clench your hands tight
you'll sort of like start turning it and like not notice that you're doing that so in my effort to to tense up and try to turn better i throttled you're just throttling
it more and so i just ran it off the road completely and then like ran into the wall
there was like a like a wall that i assume has been there for thousands of years yeah i just ran
right into it and then like fucking crashed in front of it did you uh did you get hard a little hard yeah yeah yeah beer butter yeah uh i was fine i've crashed i've crashed like shit before i've
crashed like snowmobiles and like atvs and stuff before so i was like chill zipper two was not
chill zipper two goes on your she on your back at the beginning and that was part of it because
when you have a second person you have more weight you actually like it matters more it's way harder
to turn when you have a second person so uh i was learning with like fucking the weights on and uh damn bro
hey no go get her 1-800 roses again from downtown uh anyway uh so i crash it i'm chill but but she's
fucking going through it i'm like fuck i'm like you want to get on aden's because like he like knows how to drive one and she like and I'm like fuck I'm like you wanna get on Aiden's
cause like he like
knows how to drive one
and she like didn't want to
but I was like
you should get on Aiden's
I don't wanna like
yeah
yeah
and right after
and then right after
this happened
that's why I especially
felt bad
cause I didn't think about
like zipper 2
in the moment
oh you didn't consider
other people's feelings
I was like
I'm gonna fuck with Aiden here
and call him a pussy
and pass him
and I didn't you know man shit yeah that's actually why I was like I'm gonna fuck with Aiden here and call him a pussy and pass him and I didn't
you know man shit
that's actually why I was so mad
because we had just gone through a whole conversation
of her like
her getting on my bike just to feel
like more safe for the short term
and then he
does that at the next intersection
I was Eeyore the rest of the day
I was going slow
but after I got a couple practice rounds in oh I killed a bug the next intersection. I was Eeyore the rest of the day. I was going slow. But after,
after I got a couple
practice rounds in,
oh,
I killed a bug,
spreadsheet.
I was carving on that thing, bro.
I was ripping that thing.
Everyone thinks they're a god
at this shit.
Aiden, tell Simon I'm a god.
Hmm?
On the Vespa.
You're aggressive.
That's not good.
Which is what you need.
You don't want a Vespa
aggressively.
Yeah, you do
if you're in Italy.
Defensive driving is key.
I feel like...
You got to be on the offensive.
Why did they make the kickstand that fucking hard?
I'll just say I'm so glad I wasn't here for this part.
No, fuck you.
You're weak, bro.
I agree with you.
When I drove us back, by the way, the traffic was insane.
And I literally felt like Jamin Stamon, the transponder.
I drove like a champion.
Wait, did you pick him up from the airport?
No, on the way back from the villa.
That could be Jason or John Stamos.
Yeah.
Jamin Stamon.
Jamin Stamon.
I've never.
The Greek Brit.
It's been so long since I've been that car sick.
Yeah.
From the drive home from the villa.
Because I was fucking drifting to die.
Dude, dude.
European roads are so fucked up.
I look back at Ludwig, and I've never seen him like this.
He has like this samurai stare. And I'm like, you good, man?
He goes, I'm good.
And I'm like, what's up?
He's like, carsick.
Should've yak.
We were all so obnoxious.
And I'm like, you want me to pull over?
He's like, I'm good.
And I'm like, are you sure?
He's like, I'm good.
He keeps saying it in the same case.
He's getting annoyed.
He's fighting through it.
As I listen to possibly the funniest Comptown bit I've heard in my entire life.
It was a really good Comptown bit.
Comptown bit was funny. Couldn my entire life. really good Comptown bit. Comptown bit was funny.
Couldn't lie.
Dude,
this is also,
I had no medium
to talk about this
in a way that was meaningful,
but this is like my only,
my only avenue.
But me and Ludwig
got back to the room,
like after listening
to that Comptown bit
and he goes to me,
he goes,
they're funny.
And I was like,
Ludwig has like never
to me like thought
about like someone
being funny
and then talked about it analytically after in any sense.
So I was like, he really liked that bit.
Just to get in.
I just want to spend a day in your fucking head.
All Ludwig gives me is, ha, for anything.
I want to spend a day in the catacombs that's your fucking mind.
Couldn't handle it.
I think I could.
It's all fucking demons and nightmares in there, bro.
I'm slaying him.
Me and, I think me and Mike, when we were at Low Tide in Texas.
Yeah, I think it was me and Mike.
We're in a hotel room and I have this this thread of tweets that I have a theory that every hotel room in the world is playing ridiculousness 24-7.
And I have a thread of tweets where I reply to it.
And I like I add every time I go to a hotel, check and it always is playing ridiculousness on the mtv channel and um me and mike are doing our tradition
that you're chanel west that's my chanel west yeah is that good i would love to have chanel
on the pod if i if i could swing a guess right now chanel west chanel is the stave of ridiculousness
just the support i think she brings a dynamic that we don't have. So we're watching Ridiculousness as we do when we're in hotels,
and I was thinking about how fucking funny it would be
if we could get Ludwig on Ridiculousness.
Wait, is it still going?
Yes.
Is he still on it?
New episodes?
Ridiculousness is still running.
It's like slated on almost every hour of MTV, and it does well.
Does he stand on the laptop still?
The laptop's gone.
They modernized the show. No. Yeah well. Does he stand on the laptop still? The laptop's gone. They modernized the show.
No.
Yeah.
What does he stand on?
He stands on an iPad.
He stands on like a stage.
He stands on a stage
with a screen.
Dude,
I want ridiculousness
in Fortnite.
Oh, shit.
You know?
Like they do concerts
for Ariana Grande,
but it's just ridiculousness instead.
Or like the MLK Museum.
It's playing all the
it's playing all the drops that you lost on the screen it's connected to your account you know
you could give away on the patreon is so so this sweater comes with an in-game code no fucking way
wear it in the game give it to your brother but none of us play for he doesn't play fortnite
are there only 200 and uh yeah, I guess so.
There must be.
That is actually so lame.
And we could give it away.
Now it's sick.
Now I'm on board.
Dude, give it to me.
I want it on my account.
I want it on my account, bro.
I want John Wick
wearing a Balenciaga Fortnite sweatshirt.
We live in a hell world.
Doing the Rick and Morty dance.
While I go to the MLK Museum.
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
That sentence, you say that to me three years ago,
and I'm like, yeah, that's funny.
That's funny.
I wore my Fortnite Balenciaga to the MLK Museum.
In Fortnite.
And then Travis Scott was a giant.
He stepped on me.
Someone had a topic post of people joining Melee
because of the yard.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this was just like a nice thing
i wanted to touch on because i went to a tournament while i was in london and uh it was a tournament
called myth it was hosted by our friend uh omid and uh a couple people uh came up to me and they
surprising number of people there by the way that said like i've only been playing for the lowest
a week really to like four months a lot of slippy kids very cool um and a couple people were yard
fans and uh one guy uh that i talked to a bunch yusuf uh he said that he started playing because
of the podcast wow he just heard us talk about melee and he started playing because of the podcast. Wow. He just heard us talk about Melee, and he started playing.
What character does he play?
He plays Puff.
Nice.
I thought that was super cool.
Not at a Smash tournament, too.
He's like, these guys are huge pussies, and I want to be just like them.
Yeah.
In Camden Market, which is just like kind of a nice like food shopping area
in London.
Someone came up to me
and recognized me there too.
Wow.
She's not an American.
Were you in the
Fortnite shirt there?
I was not wearing it.
But you just,
you kind of just don't care.
I haven't been rocking it.
Haven't been wearing it.
Dude,
it's fucking so hard.
You should,
you should rock it.
I wore it in Italy
because Italians
don't put
Because Italians can't read. Yeah, they can't read. Yeah, nice. American thing. Cool. hard you should I weren't in Italy because everything in the country was
just pictures of things one thing dude I've been itching to tell this for a
while goosens like has a goose he's been doing to talk about his people my dad
it called me no one of the episodes a while ago and he asked me he's saying no to his dad
i didn't know canadians could use phones yeah he had to build it but he kind of made me craft it
he had like three iron and a redstone he has to facetime because he can't he just has like one
big block arm that he just taps the phone with he just does this and it turns on um and he asks me he's like what is it chad wow
because um naturally because i actually have to answer this question to the to the best of my
ability i'm like think i'm like thinking like how can i how can i explain this because like the
definition or like the way that chad is used has like morphed so much over time and i'm like trying to briefly explain like what
it means now but i'm trying to explain it does sound hard to do now that i think about it yeah
and i'm like i i kind of get to this point where i'm like it kind of it's kind of like a compliment
but it's also used like ironically and then i'm like trying to think like how it originated and
i'm like do you know what do you know what an incel is?
Dude, that's
such a complicated way to go about that.
That's more complicated than Chad.
Okay, Dad, there's Chad's and there's Stacy's.
Dude, that's what I did.
You're so bad at explaining things.
The way it started was like
it started as this like...
It's like an image board and you share things for anime.
Okay, so the frog was racist.
Not really?
They're called
involuntary celibates.
There's like chads and stasis
to describe the people
that they hate.
And I track it.
I basically backtrack it
all the way from
the 4chan origination
of the meme.
Is he putting up with this shit?
No, he's interested.
He wants to know the backstory.
That's so funny.
He is his father.
His AI was coded
to walk the other direction
after a certain amount of time.
So he's able to stand there
and listen for a while.
I watched this YouTube video
about the golden record
that went to space
and on it,
it has directions
for aliens
to decode
how to play a record.
And that is kind of
how Aiden explains this.
I give the full context.
I will say,
as long as they're down
to listen,
I think it's it's it's
hype yeah right it's more of like the idea of his dad being like look i just fucking i gotta go
that's the fun of being able to explain it in a way i think and uh and it also gives more context
to like how everybody uses it now but the funny thing at the end was like oh like that makes that
makes sense and he was like we we use that word like among my like
uh friend group of pilots like we use the word chad to describe people as well really but they
use it to describe people in like a negative way in like they're like a nerd or like a weird guy
and it's based off of the character chad from the original char's Angels movie. That is the most
boomer thing
I've ever heard of.
I don't think you can
make an older comment.
That is crazy.
Chad is like
lame in that movie.
Wow.
And so when him
and his pilot friends
talk about Chad.
When they bully people
like Chad's do.
Yeah.
Like Chad's do.
Yeah.
Chad is used as an insult.
So it's these
fucking rich ass pilots. Yeah. It's this guy. Wait So it's these fucking Yeah Rich ass pilots
Yeah it's this guy
Wait it's Tom Green
Yeah
I've heard of him
Losing his mind at this
Yeah
Wait wait
This is the new Charlie's Angels
No this is the older one
For sure
No this is Cameron Diaz
This is like
This is Cameron Diaz one
I mean
I mean Charlie's Angels
Does it go even
Yeah it goes way back
Way back
Okay there's three generations
Of Charlie's Angels
Yeah
Cause there's like The new Charlie's 8%. Yeah.
Because there's like the new shitty one, right? There's no way your dad is talking about Tom fucking Green.
No, he's talking about that one.
I assume there is a similar Chad.
He's talking about that one.
That's crazy.
Why don't you just call him Freddy's?
So I go through this whole cycle of explaining, right?
And then he reveals this pilot truth to me.
And I'm like, wow, that's incredible that you guys also use this name.
Dude, your dad's standing in a circle with other pilots,
like baseball players, calling him Chad.
Pointing and laughing at nerds.
Look at that Tom Green fucking guy.
He's like, hey, check this out.
I bet all the Chads in the economy were...
There's about to be a little turbulence.
It'd be so funny if your dad was like,
oh yeah, we also use this word, cummy-wummies.
And it just means
that we're going fast.
Hog means super lame.
You have to get the toys from you.
We're coming up on all of your moms.
So there's going to be
a bit of turbulence if you did.
The weather in your mom's pussy
is...
Well, Yardigans,
that was a nice time that we just had that was italy
part two i would say italy part two we get to wrap it up a bit but you know one little one little cap
on this one little yeah one more little uber driver story short one what this guy this guy
is just talking to us about you know it. We're getting along with him really well.
And Nick asks him a question because it comes up through this guy.
This guy has family in New York.
And Nick asks him what he thinks of New York Italians.
And this guy says, quote, they're definitely more proud to be Italian than we are.
It was really funny.
It's so bizarre.
It's so true. It was a weird obsession of being Italian for like Italian Americans.
And I don't think Italians are like,
and my whole family is like,
is like Brooklyn Italians.
My fellow,
my whole family is like from New York.
And like before that.
Yeah.
So they're insufferable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So they're allowed to be obnoxious and they listen to the show.
So you guys sound like you suck.
It's a weird American thing where it's like everyone's
overly proud of their heritage i think that comes down to this like weird cultural identity of like
not having an identity i'm 20 polish yeah or it's like you know i'm like one percent native
american yeah it's like getting starbucks yeah me and lizzie warren dude yeah you and lizzie warren
you are the same.
Rich.
And there is one more enormous thing I want to tell you guys about. Well, is it as enormous as what mine is?
It's a little more enormous than yours.
All right, you go, you go.
I'll save it for the Primo.
Oh, what?
I'll save it for the Primo episode.
Okay, mine.
Okay, I'll tell you mine real quick.
It's about what Aiden got when he came back.
You know what I'll save it for the Primo episode.
I'll save it for the Primo episode.
You want to watch the Primo episode, join the Patreon.
We're going to go for another hour. You should have heard what he did when he came back from the Primo. Oh, dude it for the pre-release. You wanna watch the pre-release episode, join the Patreon, we're gonna go for another hour.
You should've heard what he did
when he came back from the middle of the night.
Dude, alright, so you tell me first, ready?
How about we say on the count of three?
One, two, three.