The Yard - Ep. 168 - Slimes Biggest Secret...

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

This week, the boys talk about Nicks attempt at the God Gamer challenge, buying another podcast, and how Slime might not have been Italian all this time...

["New Shoe Guy Theme Song"] New shoe guy, new shoe guy. They were $40, do you guys like them? New shoe guy. I know what you're saying. They're nice. They're nice. Go ahead and say some shit.

Okay, oh, this guy. Aiden pulls up in these shoes and he's like, oh, I guess Barney's here. I guess Barney's here. You had to kill Grimmish for those? But then if he says they were $40, I'd be like, well, that's a bargain. What can you say about it? That's that. You wouldn't say, you spent $40 to buy garbage shoes, to buy Barney shoes?

I hate you because you spend a shitload of money. How much that sweater costs? Let's do it. Come on, right here, right now. I don't know. I hate you because you spend a shitload of money. How much that sweater costs? Let's do it. Come on, right here, right now. I don't know. I bought it like four years ago. I don't know. Oh my gosh.

Can we stop for a moment to make fun of Aiden? Okay. All right. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. We don't do that enough on this show. I think it's a missing feature.

The TikTok. Dude, I'm sorry. Aiden didn't mean it. I'm annoyed about the TikTok. Can we watch it? Slight zipper, do you know what we're talking about? It's in the group chat, zipper, if you wanna scroll up. One million people have sent this to me. I'm not dumb.

Okay, to be fair, I haven't seen it. So I would like to see it. You haven't seen it? No. That's really fucked up of you as my friend because I sent something in the chat. Yeah, but it has Aiden in it. So I default don't wanna watch it.

Bad friend, bad friend. Like I default don't want to watch it. Bad friend. Like, I watch anything you send me unless it's me. Aiden was somehow roped into a Man on the Street interview, I'm assuming in downtown Tennessee. Wait, blood got roped on camera? Where was this? It was in LA.

It was in LA. It was at a bar called 4100. And he was wearing the outfit that I would cast Aidan in as himself in a movie about Aidan. I was in the Aidan outfit. I actually sent art department. I kind of asked for it in a way. Because I saw this guy outside, like, not setting up exactly, but he was with a cameraman and somebody else. And I was just curious what he was gonna do.

So you walked up. They made a man. He wasn't filming or recording yet. And this guy, Kyle Keller, who was nice, we had a little conversation. We were talking about him filming shorts and stuff, and then he was like, do you wanna do it? Like, you wanna be in this?

They're filming what? I'm sorry, go ahead. Shorts and TikToks. Shorts. It's all right. He's probably my exact height. You guys are too mean as humans. He's probably my exact height. He's the same height as you, Slime.

He's the same height as you. What? That's a, you know what? He's just the same height as you. He's not doing himself any favors with this. This is his content. He's making himself look like he comes in a package. Okay.

And if he's the same height as me. You are not allowed to be this mean to people. I'm not being mean. I'm saying if he's the same height as me. Don't be mean to Kyle. What if he's just a five foot one guy? He's also not five foot one. He's the same height as Slime.

You're making the defense based off the facts that, that, hey, what are you making fun of? Oh, you're saying if he was five foot one. Yes, even if he was five foot one if he was five for one people out there This is what I say if he's five. I think we should kill him I always say this cuz I have short friends and I say that you can be You can say it because he has short friends. You don't need to fucking walk around like, yeah, yeah, man. Boy, you're next. I have short friends. Five, ten men.

I got gay friends. You're asking happy, bro. I have short friends. You can be spiritually short, which is the worst of all. But if you're spiritually tall, you overcome anything. That's what I said. Don the laugh in my fucking don't laugh at my beautiful. Word just don't make fun of every short. I'm not even spirits. You're going to fucking spirits. Oh, the spirit not count.

Don't go to you. Watch video. What does this program output? Oh, the program that says hello. I quote, hello world. No idea. No have no idea. No idea. That's crazy. This is what I said.

I don't know because I don't know anything about programming except like very general knowledge. Like, oh, what language is this in? Is it going to like print something on paper? Is it going to like put a mess like text up on a website? Like why would I know? I have zero context as to what this would do. This is simply a I didn't watch enough TV thing because this is like the who wants to be a millionaire first five questions question. Like you know those questions that are like you get those are free ones.

It's just the programming version of that question. That's why you're being asked it. And the fact that you don't know it is funny because of that. It's like you're saying his name is like Jeff Simpson. I was even the first person he asked of no frame of reference for what this is gonna be or what the question is. Yeah, you wiffed hard.

And the answer for people playing at home was hello world. What does it do Ludwig? Without the quotes. What does it do? One of the two things there. world. Without the quotes. What does it do? Two things there. If I type that into, if I put that into the command prompt, does it just send hello world back to me? Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's print in this context means to display. Exactly. But why would I have that context? Because again, you just watch enough TV to that, like sinks into the general knowledge of your cloud. But you didn't. Because you weren't allowed to play a team ready games. I get it. I'm not making fun of you. I think so many people said this to me.

It has been said to me so many times. Funny is, I think that's most of the views on it because the actual reel is just an ad. So it's not like performing incredibly well because it's like, yeah, anyway, coding is easy. You should learn to code with me I don't think that it's funny because it's common knowledge you should know I think it's funny because I think deductively you should have figured it out you think yes I think if it says print hello world and he says what is it output? Cause the whole point of his reel was to show how easy coding is. But I don't know that either.

I proxy a very simple coding. I also wouldn't have said yes if I knew it was an ad, but to his credit, it's paying off. So it is an ad? It's an ad. It's an ad for a fucking coding lessons thing. And then he like totally plugs it at the end of the show. And you're like, Kyle, I hope you got your bag. I

Enjoyed meeting Kyle, so I will say no shade on you My mom tried to teach me coding for about five months, and I was horrible she code Yeah, what she code the Tetris she she's a software engineer for Hewlett-Packard. Oh my god. That's right. You've heard of them That's so cool. Yeah, that is cool. She's so cool and for Cula Packard. Oh, my God. That's right. You've heard of them. That's so cool. Yeah, that is cool. She's so cool and fucking interesting. A master's in business. She's so fucking interesting.

Maybe she's the emotions out of Ludwig when he was really freaky. Someone did. She hacked him like Gattaca. Really freaking breathtaking. Look, she is fucking breathtaking all the fucking time. Also, it maybe it wasn't his mom. Sorry, I'm looking up. Yeah, because we were both like we're both like,

but it's been on his phone for a minute. Guys. I did 23 and me and I haven't really I haven't He's me part mood. I do like the hidden ones right part baboon They're like the ones that say like do you want to look at this one? Oh, I don't want to look at those you gotta look at those that fucked up. I was all mine. I was all mine What are you talking about? Yeah, and they 23 me there's parts that'll be like, like, uh, the likelihood of you getting Alzheimer's. You don't look at those. I ripped all of them all in a row.

I'm going to say ask me again. I'm going to say ask me again later. I just want to know. Okay. Hold on. You were looking for your your background. Is that the goal? Yeah, I want to see if I'm like all that shit.

I've been saying about Italians. I said last time on the rainbow episode last week that Italy should be nuked Yeah, I think you're 30% Italian at most that's fucking disgusting. I found out exactly the amount I've been saying I am Except I found out I was 10% French. I never knew that Okay, can you can you look at it? Yeah, I'll get it. I haven't looked at this. You're gay. You're learning in real time Oh, dude, it says you have emotions Oh shit, that was one of the secret ones you're supposed to look at. 40% Native American? Oh my god Congratulations. You win some you lose some. Alright, so I do I do I'm not doing the health data, right?

I'm doing no no no genetic data. Okay genetic reports. Genetic reports. Yeah. This is not showing where your background is. This is showing like your genetic weight and lactose intolerance. How do they do this? Am I lactose intolerant? I'll find out for you right now. How do you submit? Do you like spit in a cup? You spit a thing a few times and then you send it back and then the government has your everything.

Okay. No, you're not. You're not lactose intolerant. Ah, here it is. Ancestry. Ah, view report.. Ancestry. Ah, View Report. Oh my god. Whoa!

Dude, I'm shaking right now. I have to start off by letting you know you're not Italian. Wait, what? At least not majority Italian. Guess how much Italian you are. Oh my god. 30%. No!

30.2. Dude, he clocked your dumbass I'm so and you are mostly and I and I mean 67% my god, we do yes. Yes one area and we're doing yes, right? Oh, yeah, you can guess if you name any of the countries in this area. I'll permit it Egypt Egypt on gypsum black that is wrong in this area, I'll permit it. Egypt, Egypt, I'm black. That is wrong. You're not black.

You're not black. No. Eastern Europe, Eastern Europe, Serbia. I also think Eastern Europe. Serbian. It is not. He is. He is.

That's you know what? I think that might be in the area or close to at least. Let me check. Am I Greek? He's Greek. Wait, really? You're Greek. Wrong.

You're 60. Christofanesti. Christofanesti, you malakas. Dude, really? You're Greek. Bro. You're 60s. Christophanesti. Christophanesti, you're the lockers. Really? 67% Greek in Parking. You guys are like celebrating Greek Easter. Oh my god. You guys don't understand.

My whole life, I've been like, yeah, I'm mostly Italian. Oh, wow. That's what I was told. That's wrong. You're Southern European, and it's close to Italy. It's close as fuck to Greece. But it's people who probably went to Italy at some point. Give me a... I have to call Josh.

What do you mean to call Josh? He's Greek. Well, I have one more piece of information. Wait, wait, wait. Do you have the Greek toe? What the fuck is that? Zipper pull up the Greek toe. Roman toe? Roman toe, that's what it's called.

Roman is in Italy. Dude, you have a Roman toe? I have one final piece of info for you. No, but a lot of Greek people have it. Okay, what's the final piece of info? Josh has the weird toe. We can get stov back on. One percent North African.

My brother. This is a dangerous. One. There's a clip. There's a clip was like an Evo. I forget. It's like some some stream because they do like co streams on the stage. And it was like, it's a bunch of these black guys in this this white guy

and they all know each other. I don't see RDC world. This is at DreamCon. Is it? And they're playing Tekken. Yeah, I think he goes like, I'm one. Yeah, and there's this white guy and he's like, I look 23 of me. I'm right at one percent. And he had a screenshot.

Oh, my God. And it's just like, and they're like, get the fuck out. And they're making fun of of him Then he just goes Dial at oh my god now I can do that. Yeah, you can okay. You can Dap up mark phillips. Roman toe Oh, okay, no the Greek toe. It's a real thing. Yeah, the Greek toe Second toe being long. Oh my god. The signs were there the whole time. No, I have a Roman toe No, he doesn't know it's no your second toes longer than your bitch. No, it isn't look at it now. All right That's, no, your second toe's longer than your big toe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think you saying nuke Italy's a hate crime. I think we've always had ass. I can see it. Josh, Josh, Josh, listen. I just did 23 me.

We're on the yard right now. I'm not kidding. I'm not fucking with you brother. And I mean that 30% Italian like 65% Greece. No. Yes, dude. Christos Anesti! I can say it now.

I can say it, you malaka. I think it doesn't retroactively make what you said chill. It does. It really does. I think it actually was always in my head. It might be inside of him. He's got the science and the data. It's addiction, man.

I'm so, I'm so happy. Like we can, like I can meet your Yeya now. Like this is so... Aw, nah, you're alright. Alright, I'll see you at Easter. Okay, bye. Okay. No.

We should do... Alright, now call your black friends. Yellow now. Guys, I'm once again... Listen, does this change anything? Just wondering. Uh, what did you say to him? To Josh?

Yeah. I would, no, I didn't say shit. I would say Chris Olsenesti, which means Christ is risen. Oh. I thought you said some Greek slurs. Malaka is kind of like a wanker, like... Okay. Okay.

Damn. I can't say that. Yeah, I can say that. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I ripped it all day. Well, not now. He could always say it. Yeah. You know what's fucked is if we pulled up a map, he couldn't name any of the countries in the Balkan region. That's not fucking true. I fucking like maps now, you effing fucker. Really? You like them now? Now you're a map guy? What changed?

I started learning about history. Okay. And maps. What's in the area? Fucking Croatia. Czech. Me, and maps. What's in the area fucking Croatia? Check me and shake big chillin. Oh It's the ball. Check is so far. Okay Seconds ago you cared I I don't care that he's trying to turn it into an yet another guess the country Yeah, so anyway here it is. Here's the map slime. Look at those islands. Those belong to me. They're our- they're our- okay.

This is our world? This is not our map, somewhat? That's Turkey. They're fighting with Greece. Oh, that's Italy. It's on! Dude, it's dead ass with Hassan. Every Turk, we are fucking beefing, bro. Tarek, bro? You wanna call Hassan and tell him you're beefing?

I would love to call Hassan and tell him I'm fucking beefing with him. Call Hassan. Dude, yes. Hey, what do you think about this? They said I had to hate Hassan. tell him I'm fucking beefing with him. Call Hasan. Dude, yes. Hey, what do you think about this? They said I had to hate Hasan. I said I will, Nef. Oh, wow, okay. Instantly.

Okay, he's a little busy. Instantly. Hezbollah is still getting attacked, so. Fuck. Son of a bitch. So there was a population exchange between Greece and Turkey. I don't know if you knew this. This is real.

Yes. It happened early in the 19th century. Greece, Turkey, what is the grill dumbass? Oh, he's live stream right now. Oh, I don't ask piece of shit USC speech We're gonna hurt you bro do a speech hurting you dude. Hey, don't don't say I'm hurting my 23 of me made me racist The Turks historical like hatred It'd be like finding out you're like 2% Japanese being like yeah Koreans I hate the Turks now. The historical, like, hatred. Yeah. Why not? It's part of the fun. I don't know. It'd be like finding out you're like 2% Japanese being like, yeah, Koreans.

Yeah. Ugh. The Japanese people. No, you need like more than that for sure. Oh, so if you're majority still. Probably like anywhere from like 60% to 70% you probably need. Right. Wow, do you guys see me differently now?

Shut the fuck up. Shut up. No. Holy shit, is this how insufferable I am with French? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. It helps that you speak it though. I speak up. No. Holy shit, is this how insufferable I am with French? Yeah. Fuck. It helps that you speak it.

I speak it. Yeah, I literally know three Greek words. One of them is waker. Are you gonna go learn it now? Oh, I love, yeah. I'm gonna learn about all the gods. You should go to the motherland. We should send you on exchange.

Let's go to Greece. You should call your past partners. And be like, so, I took a test. Hey. I'm sorry. I hate to make this call. God, dude, just like test. Hey, I'm sorry. I hate to make this call. I want to do like setting it up like an SCD.

That's so fucking funny. I got the results. It's just tough. And I wasn't lying to you intentionally, but I was. I didn't know. I didn't know. No, and I'm positive. I know.

I know I'm a member of Italiansmeat.org. I know that's where we met. Oh my God. Most of my family is dead as well. So I can't member on Italiansmeat.org. I know that's where we met. Oh my God. Most of my family is dead as well. So I can't like call them. No, I can't like tell them guys. What side do you think that that came from your dad's side? Who's more Greek?

Presumably not. I don't know. Presumably not, but they were both from a very similar area. I think my grandma my dad's side is still alive. I could ask her. Yeah, I don't know. They were just some, they're from Chicago. That's like where my shit come from. Chicago, Greek Italians. That's very standard.

I feel like you need to go now. I think you need like a quinceanera. I mean, I know I need a bar mitzvah, but for Greek. We're so culturally like illiterate when it comes to Greek. I know John Samos. Is Russell Brand Greek or is it just that movie? Nah. Now he might be. He's going to be an orthodox Christianity. What can you get behind here? You could yeah, you can ache the Turks. You could be a big Giannis fan. I could not pay taxes ever. You should be a Bucks fan for sure. I think we need Stav back.

We need Stav back for another episode. You should call Stav. I have a number. You want to call him? Yeah, I would love to call him. Yeah. Let me give it. Let me. We're doing the rounds. We're doing the world tour for Slime's New Heritage.

I was going to call him for my phone. If I turned Italian today, who would I call? This makes so much sense. The police. Turn yourself in. The rat you are. I shouldn't laugh at that.

I can say that now. It makes sense, though, because like you didn't like Italy when you went there. I hated it. So he probably hate Greece. He didn't feel a connection. Turn that John up. This is. What a crazy day. Like day in New York.

He's not you. Your call has been. He doesn't know too. Yeah, it's busy. Well, he calls back. Congrats. Thank you. I still love you.

Thank you. Ancient Greek adolescent boys were expected to enter into a mentor. Yeah, with an adult man. Okay. Yeah, what do they call them? Where's mine? What's the worst? I think that you're the adult man.

I think you need to go find a boy. No, I find an adult man. Have you read the book Song of Achilles? No. It's about his boy lover, Patrocles. Oh, that's right. And how you're supposed to give up your boy lover. And he never did.

No, it was very uncouth to give up, to not give up your boy lover. We'll go to like a Greek town. Let's go to Baltimore. We'll go to Baltimore. We'll go to Greek town. Why and when do you give them up? Is it when they leave boyhood? You're going to love that.

Yeah, it's exactly right. And they're not a boy. Right. Because then they're not your boy. So he's kind of based for keeping them. So that when they're a boy and they're your boy lover, it's chill. But when they're a man, it's gay. Oh, it is. Yeah, it is. Why are you as a man?

That's like get away from another man. Exactly. You know, you know the casino in Detroit that we would go to during Big House Rip. That was Greetown and they would fuck me raw every time. Right. Yeah. Oh, because they knew they smelled it on you. They know they knew that I was capping. You smell like it. They smell it on you.

They knew that I was capping about. One of their own. Yeah, they were like, well, we're going to make him learn today. They smell it on you. They knew they was capping about... One of their own. Yeah, they were like, well, we're going to make him learn today. But yeah, that's great. Thank you for coming to my seminar. I didn't expect to learn so much today. Have you taken it yet?

23andMe? Yeah. No. Get to spitting, lad. Spit. Spit in the thing for me. Spit for me. I know, I know.

Spit on it. Well, you think you know. I'm pretty sure I know. Blood, spit know blood spit on it and then you find out and then maybe you weren't sure I'm like, I'm I'm like all the other British kids with bad haircuts and bad teeth What do you want? He's on he's on the evidence is Overwhelmingly in that direction. It's a check in the mail for like 14 cents for every Arctic Monkeys album that everyone on Spotify Nothing would be more disappointing than cracking open the 23 and me and then seeing exactly what I think it'll be which is like 70% English Good, but maybe maybe you're Greek too. Maybe you'll figure out why you're such a Euroboot

like maybe it'll and maybe it'll have some information regarding like your potential like Maybe we'll say like hairline stuff, lactose stuff like you can have like other info. I don't think you're concerned about the lactose. I would say the any of the any of the things you would come in his pants if he was Dutch. Oh, my God. He's like, oh, I'm from oh, I'm Swiss.

Is there a country that if you find out that's your genetic makeup, they you have an easier time for citizenship? Like if you find out you're like you're like an orphan in America, but you're a 100 percent Estonian, are they like, welcome, welcome home, bubba, welcome home. You and puppy from I already. There's a few countries that give you it. If your grandparent is from there.

Italy Italy is one of them. Italy's one of them. Make that up. But I already checked but I already tried to lie make up a group make a grandma. What if you just get a kid like no like I'm sure you could pay an Italian grandmother to be your guardian. Oh and then does that count the line or marry her 100%? Yeah, you marry an old ass.

You guys can marry my grandma. She's legal. This is wrong. I don't want to become Italian. And then does that count the line or marry her 100% yeah, you marry an old-ass Become Italian You don't fuck with Italy Me neither, but for different reason anyone ever nut in the 23 in me vile on accident and send it in I think they did it not like I won't read the instructions I'm just gonna like they've got the vile on accident and treat it and they're like oh I'm supposed to nut in this. You must have to nut into it. Because like where else is my jeans?

TNA coming from. Because that's, I gotta send them my spawn. Maybe be more accurate. Imagine you get it as a gift for Christmas. You're dumb. You know, you don't know what jeans are. You're like, oh I must mean kids. Yeah.

Yeah. And then you nut in the vial and you send it off. And you send it off. And of course at the 23andMe Center they drink it. That's how they test everything. I don't know how your shit look. Be hard to get nut in that vial. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I imagine you do some sort of like paper funnel. Like, you know, you do it like a aid method.

You like over the toilet. You just fucking. It's a very tiny hole. No, if I remember correctly. You have to nut directly into it, though. It's like got an opening. Like you could cap it on the tip of your hog and then bounce the cum into your... You could do it. It'd be fucking easy.

We don't have to not directly into it boys, but there's technology for this. Like we could roll up a piece of paper. Yeah, but then it like... Make it like a funnel. But you'd have to like spray it with canola oil. Have you seen the thing that picks up liquids? You could pick up your cum with it.

You know what I'm talking about? Can you look up ketchup pick up appliance? Wait, wait, wait, the rolly thingy? Yes. I've seen this. Dude, we could make like a slap chop commercial but like clean up your cum. This is why kids you dump it. This is why kids you dump it.

Is it? Well, the Simpsons did it but also I think toilet paper works fine. No, no, no, this toilet paper smears it It's the paper does not work toilet. That's a classic misconception toilet paper. It's the gray. It's the gray right now That's crazy Shit and it puts it back wait dude that would definitely pick up my go pick up your nut and put her on your friend's desk Oh my god, just right on pick up my gun. Pick up your nut and put it on your friend's desk. Oh my God, just right on Aiden's forehead?

Holy shit, dude. Oh, C.O.G. Subaki made the, yeah, makes sense, yeah. Wait, and then you can still- Oh, I didn't know- He made the razor headset. Look at that. And you still got it, you know, you went- And then you can throw it on a cloth.

Amazing. And then you send it in. Wow. No, they definitely made that shit to pick up on. Can we get one of these? Yeah, I think we How much the swiddle costs we can use our credit card points? I've been racking them up for the company. I don't do anymore Low-key Nick is bad at games high-key high-key

I've been relishing this past week after beating the God gamer challenge. Did you watch session one? Huh? Did you watch session one? Watch the last one. I saw some of session one. This is what happened. On run five of session one, we got six games in.

And then after the stream, we killed the stream. We were like, we'll play tomorrow. Alex messaged me. He goes, hey, the challenge is too easy. Let's make it. Let's make it harder. Let's remove like most of the shooters and we'll just put games we don't play. And I said, OK. And I realized that Alex doesn't really want to win the challenge.

I don't think he wants to do it. I don't think he wants to do anything. Because he just wants to do the challenge. He thinks it's fun and funny, but he just wants it to be funny. So we're like, OK, we put in league because like he's played 15 hours. I've never played. We started putting in games that we don't know how to play. And last night we did about, I think we did 10 runs and we did not get past game three.

And that was a good run. Watching you play League. It was crazy. Warmed my heart. I've never played a moment ever. It looked like that. And Sanch was like not bad for your first time. No, I just didn't want you to blow your shit off someone. Also you actually encountered a cheater in Halo which was crazy. Oh he was flying around. His name was like flying cumshot.

And then he killed him once and then he just literally started. Was it Infinite or Master Chief Collection? MCC. Yeah I ran into a guy that just became a robot. Like the little head. Oh, like he changed his model? Yeah, to some like item that's in the game that you can't kill. Prop hunt.

So just it just slowly flies and then beams you and then slowly flies away. And it's like this is so. We were playing a normal game of Halo. One of the guys in the other team just leaves. And then the guy who didn't leave goes AFK for a couple of minutes. And we're like, okay, free dub. And then he starts flying around and only hitting headshots.

He was a boss character. And we're like, okay, this round doesn't count. Dude, so he only cheats when a guy on his team AFKs. I guess. Is that ethical? No, of course not. I don't know. So it's more ethical than just normal cheating.

And Alex doesn't like restarting the, like if you lose a game, he doesn't like just saying, hey, let's just start with this one. So we don't have to like close out the client and everything. Yeah. He, we came up with the idea to spin a wheel to decide what game we play next.

Yeah, I saw that. And he wants to spin the wheel every time no matter what we do. It's a horrible idea. And no matter what he closes his game out. So he, so this happened like four times. He closed the game out, spun the same game that had to reopen the same game.

I can tell this happened because Nick does the little prodding things. He's like, yeah, I'm going to keep Halo open just in case they hate Halo. Because that happens sometimes. And then it'll happen. It'll be like, oh yeah, close it. This is OK.

I actually had a flashback. This is what happened. When we did the session one, I was clearly about to crash out. I was minutes from crashing out. I was like, Alex, because dude, we played a COD game where I had like 36 kills and he was in his settings the entire game Because he just didn't set COD up before we started the stream even though I said set everything up before the stream He said yeah, I did

So so we start the stream and whenever I say why did you set it up? He goes, bro? I'm busy. He said I don't like sitting at my computer all day like walking around outside. It's like that's crazy So I respect that because it's really important to walk He's gonna walk He's gotta walk It's not about how but it's also about how, because it's really important to walk. You gotta walk. It's not because it's help, but it's also funny. Sometimes you bump into your neighbors and you look at the sunset with them. I also walked that day.

I asked him, so I was like, okay. I was getting really mad in my head, but I was still playing. So I'm like, I wanna win. I would love to try to do well in the challenge. And I thought, I remember I went back, and I was like, ah, you laugh, you lose. I took it so seriously, I wanted to win,

and all my friends hated me for it. They fucking never said no. And they never forgot it. And I was like, I, you laugh, you lose. I took it so seriously. I wanted to win and my friends hated me for it. They never forgot it. And I was like, I need to lighten up. I have fun. So I texted him the next day and I was like, hey, next time we do the challenge, or he was like, hey, we should change some of the games. I was like, sure, I'm down.

And I was like, yeah, next time we do the challenge, let's just try to make it really funny. I don't really care if we win. And I was like, I'm not gonna care about the performance of it anymore. I'm gonna try to make it more funny. And the second stream was a lot funnier. Yeah, horrible.

You're still, God. So ass. You just gotta look at chat. Like, what the fuck am I doing there? You're pissing me off. Yeah, I don't read chat, man. Read the fucking chat, cause your fucking friends are there saying,

how fucking funny shit, fucker. I read it a lot more the second time. I liked, there was a spot during the first stream where Nick had like clicked into Halo incorrectly. So it's a black screen. Oh, I played like a whole game. Dude, he played like a whole game of Halo with just a black screen on OBS. How am I supposed to stream it? And I'm in the chat like watching in the other room in our house and

we're good, and I'm just talking with the chat about like, isn't this fucking ASMR so nice? And then he turned it back on and then everybody was like, boo I need my I need my ambiance. I had a flashback moment because Nick Nick can't talk to you and drive a Consistent. Oh my god. I remember that the same time He just goes faster and I think he genuinely has an inability to multitask. This is made up. All of this is made up. It's not.

You did this the other day. This is so factual. The other day when we went to get food. When you're thinking about your point, your foot just gets heavier. Yeah. It's weird. You drive it home.

It's crazy, because there's a button that does it for you. Yeah, there is. You push it once. You can't. You're just kidding. You're not going to worry anymore? Or he goes way too often. So, there is. Push a button. You're good. Or just kick it off. You don't have to worry anymore. Or he goes way too often.

So what else? I don't know. What else? All I'm saying is if you train yourself to look at chat and frag, you also might be a safer driver. Oh, okay. No, I think it's like a condition. Like you can't do it. Yeah, like it's just a thing he'll never ever get better at.

23andMe might be able to find that out for you. Spin a can. Spin. Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in. Actually, just make sure. Ever get better 23 me might be Okay, you you did it we edge my seat we're all watching How does that feel to bring up something you did and everyone's like oh you did it wrong I'm not gonna be like the 50k people that we're watching What hour was it? It was like hour 100 Like the 50k people that we're watching You don't gotta like fucking chime in and be like I didn't watch it

He said we were all watching so you're right So if you're gonna clarify that I wasn't It's like if you're in a group and someone's like man I really wanna kill myself And it's like we all love you and you're like I don't love you I don't love you like I like you I like you for sure I don't I wouldn't say I love you I don't want to make sure I tell you I do like you I only love a few people it's just like you're with what that means a lot to me it just wasn't here I just wasn't a good way to spend

my time to watch all right it wasn't noted sure no no it was losing to Rishi that was a better use of your time It wasn't shaped my confidence for the future That I was a fucking two hits away from any Rishi at the nightclub. No, that's cool So so I so what so what so so you get to the last game with Connor eats eats Japanese food and then... Yeah, Connor eats sushi, yeah. He liked that. It was a bad time.

He was taking a drip, bro. When I'm spend fired. You were with Connor eats Japanese food. Connor eats cash. Oh, now I'm fucking good. You're like, really good. Hey, this guy doesn't miss a lot. It's a good one.

It's a good of sense, man. Oh, I play that. I put it on everywhere I was talking. Yeah, sorry, I gotta go to a meeting. I'll be back in two minutes. Where the fuck are you going? We literally have one time a week where we do... We'll be doing two minutes. You know what? I think we got this one, boys.

You know what he's probably going to do? You can't do anything in two minutes. Well I can tell you what takes zero minutes is eating a cold factor. But if you want to heat it up, it'll take you two minutes. And that's what he's probably going to do right now. He's going to have a nutritious chef prepared meal, and he's going to eat it,

put it in the microwave, kind of a waste of time in my opinion. But you're still able to do that. And he's probably going to go with the protein plus because he's been looking kind of thin right He's fucking serious. You kiss me on the mouth. I would kiss you right on the mouth, dude But I would do so before and after having one of 35 different meal choices. Do you understand me? Look man, I like the protein plus cuz I'm trying to get big again. I hadn't got a gym for a month I have a genetic variant that gives me more muscle mass. Oh my God. It's true. It's true. So protein plus comes in handy for me when I eat that shit cold as the God's day it came

on this earth. You build that body with the premium ingredients they got. That's what I'm saying bro. You're out here eating filet mignon fill in that protein filled body. You can get the optimal like premium stuff and still eat it cold and that's the cool part. So if you want to be like me or you want to be like Nick, both are acceptable. Both are fine.

One of us has a genetic variant. The heaters and the freezers. You go to factor meals dot com slash yard 50. Use code the yard 50. Get 50% off plus 20% off the next box in your subscription. Yes, code the yard 50 at factor meals dot com slash yard 50 and 50 percent off your box and 20 percent off the next box and That's pretty cool So when you use America's number one at ready meal kit you can do it like me or you can do it like Nick

But either way you can kiss me on the mouth. You can kiss a nun. We're the worst Co-host will be back. We need to have at some point Conrad's pants in this pod. Yeah flame to the reddit We did get flamed on the Reddit for not having a market. You know what? He's never asked me. He's asked. He's asked. To be clear, I think it's why we haven't had him is because the amount of times he has asked.

I told him he has to do our idea. I want to put him inside of a cage. And I want to oil him up. And I want him to be in there the whole episode. We want you like, moodang, Conrad. A few 90 minutes to get oiled up enough to squeeze through the bars. Yeah, that's the only way he can get in and out. Moodang on our podcast and it's just Conner with oil on his hands. So the final game was Fortnite.

Yes. And it gets like to like last like six people alive. There was like eight people and counterdog V.A. DC's. Yeah. And you phoned it in. Which I thought was kind of cringe because it came down to a one V one Ludwig versus Dr. Doom and Fortnite. And this would have been it. And Ludwig just kind of threw didn't play the one V one, even though it would have been hard.

And then he's like, that doesn't count. You DC will run it again, which I think is fine. But but I was arguing with Ludwig. And then after that like, that doesn't count. You DC'd. We'll run it again, which I think is fine. But but I was arguing with Ludwig. And then after that, they beat it. It was like a bot lobby and it was kind of anti-comatic, but they just cleaned it up. But I would argue that Ludwig 1v1ing Dr. Doom after Seedog dies is way more hype

because someone's got to be Shaikh and someone's got to be Baeck. No, because that's what we learned is at first it felt like someone had to be Shaikh and someone's gotta be Bake. No. Because that's what we learned. Is at first it felt like someone had to be Shake and someone had to be Bake. But then we learned that actually our love as lovers was the force that was able to help us win. Well, it's always the force. The force is there for the whole time. But when he was not in the lobby. Also you needed Connor's Elo to get the bots back in the lobby. Thank you. Because when he DC'd all the bots were replaced with players.

And I was like, he's moving a little fast for me. I thought that would have been insane. It's like Conor got, he gets shot up. From a extreme viewers perspective, that's better. But from a Conor perspective, that's not very fun. He's just like, he's just like, that's life, bro. better. But from a from a Connor perspective, that's that's not very bad. He's just like, sometimes you're in the cup chair. That's life, bro. Yeah. But why? That's like, isn't it?

That's if the cup chair was in the other room and you didn't even get to watch. I think you're not even the cook anymore. It's called Lovers of the World. I feel like it was like the final curveball of the world being like, even though you're playing great, we're going to throw tech issue at you. And now you have to overcome that by like you're pretty much having a guaranteed win get taken away and you have to fucking run it back. You know, and maybe the second game wasn't as hype like but if it was more hype I think you wouldn't think the way you think.

No, I think even if the final game was hype and it wasn't filled with literal actual bots like red pandas. I think it would have been more, I thought about this a lot. I had the same exact thought you had. And then I thought about like, well, maybe it's a worse video if only one of them's at the finish line. And so I was like, okay, well then what I think he should have done, I think the second he DC'd, you should have left and been like, oh,

I'm not doing it without you. I'm not doing it without you. Yeah, alt F4. That doesn't count, alt F4. So I think, I think even though you said it before it happened which which clarified your intentions I think going and then getting to the last guy then dying to him and then saying that one doesn't count you said it first though Makes it a little weird. I think that's fair. Would you account it if you won?

Doctor do 1v1 like it's it's pretty impossible to me. It was like fucking it was like it was like fucking Hope Core. Guy breaks leg during race. Father comes to help him finish. Like that's what it was. And so I'm happy. You feel accomplished? Yeah, I felt great, bro. And you guys got one more in there, right?

You got to 11. We got to 11. Yeah, I like that. Garfield Racing was trolling. Bro, that game was so hard. Yeah. Oh, my God. I never that. Garfield Racing was trolling. Bro, that game was so hard. Yeah. Oh my God. I never knew. Garfield Kart? Garfield Kart. Dude, didn't they play that at the world's greatest?

No, we played some bullshit as Lego 2K racing. That's right. Because they were like some partner with YouTube and YouTube's like, you got to play this. And we're like, wow, we really don't want to. And then void farmed. Did you see my Rocket League game with Alex? I did not. Did you crush? You told them? So our ELO is very different.

So when we play, we have very, very bad players in the lobby. And I just try to set him up for shots. Yeah. So I'll dribble the ball. I'm like, all right, Alex, drive down mid. And there's a clip where I drive the ball right in front of the goal. It's on the line.

And it's just sitting there bouncing. And he drives up and just flips under the ball and completely misses it. Rocket League is such an incredibly difficult game to like, it's like Melee, I feel like. You need so many hours to just get a control of your car. Is it? I've never played Rocket League. It's hard, yeah.

Yeah, you can like, everyone can drive on the fucking ground, but like everyone just ends up like a dog chasing the ball. I think I think it's, Rocket League is particularly hard if you never go in the range. If you go in the range just like three times, you go up two ranks. Yeah, immediately. It's like ridiculous. Most people don't go in the range. If you go in the range just like three times, you go up two ranks. Yeah, true. Immediately, it's like ridiculous. Like most people don't go in the range.

Most people just don't go in the range. And like, oh, this is kind of how the rockets work. This is how the jumping works. Okay, okay, now I'm gonna play. They just raw run at the ball, cause it's fun to run a ball. And it's really hard to learn that way, cause you usually fail.

Is rocket league fun? Yeah, it's really fun. Yeah, horrendously fun. Why don't you guys play it to this day? I still play it. He was a grinder of it. I it's fun until You play people who are very good and then you're like, oh I have to learn and go to the range And when you're getting gapped in that game, you can't you can't touch the ball It's actually very frustrating and I think the range is not fun. I played a lot I don't enjoy I put a lot two years ago because I wanted to hit champ and I hit champ. Where's champ?

It goes champ one. Nah, you didn't hit champ. There's a picture of it. Well, it says you didn't hit it. Nah, okay. But there's a picture. I saw an AI picture of Donald Trump jerking off a fucking dog. That's real.

I saw that too. That was good. That was real. That happened at the White House. They come tremendously. I can't do it. Go up to the top. That was not Donald Trump. I don't know, man. I don't care. Champ, champ was real. That happened at the White House. They come tremendously. What are the ranks? Go up to the top. That was not Donald Trump.

I don't know, man. I don't care, bro. Champ is the purple one on the right side. So it's Champ 1, 2, 3, and then it's Grand Champ, and then Supersonic Legend. Supersonic Legend. They have the coolest final rank. Supersonic Legend. It's better than Challenger, Radiant. It's like, yeah, I'm a Supersonic Legend. I'm from Xenoblade. I'm final right supersonic legend. It's better than like challenger like radiant. It's like yeah

I'm a supersonic legend. I'm from I've said this before maybe on the show, but the rocket league's weird cuz I actually think that Every since everyone can get to champ without doing aerials. I Don't think you need to be able to do aerials, which is like the kind of I think maybe diamond air mechanic That is true. Do I'm bad at aerials man. I'm not saying you're good like I Air mechanic. That is true. Dude, I'm bad at aerials, man. I'm not saying you're good. I think if you can dribble the ball and you kind of like you rotate,

you're you just can win every game. Gustavo, what's the highest you've ever been in a game? Huh? It's the highest you've ever been in a game. Ranked, ranked, ranked. Don't be fucking making some joke about gummies, bro. OK. Pissing me off. Was it three in Valor? No, no, no, no. Wait, you know. Oh, bro. Okay. Pissing me off. Dude, is it Plat 3 in Valor? No, no, no, no.

Wait, you know... Oh my god, you haven't hit Diamond 1? My, my... It's Plat... The highest he's hit is Plat 3. Dude, what the fuck? My highest ever... What if he's a team?

My highest ever rank... Get a new mouth pad or something. I have Legends in three months. Oh my god. Okay. I saw, there was math on your subreddit. They said you cannot do this. Yeah, they said I can't do a lot.

I can't hit a thousand threes. I can't do the Lovers vs. World Challenge. Oh. I got a lot of haters. What's the bet is plat, right? Plat. Plat by Daniel. Okay, sometimes, most of the time,

the people are wrong, cause they're idiots. But this time they were counting hours it would take, and hours are the one thing Ludwig, that you have the most problems surrendering. Okay, and what was bad about their math? It was just like, I think it was like, a certain amount of hours a day that I know you can't commit to.

That they used a static number for LP, and they based everything off of that. That's average, that's fine, law of averages. You guys really think my luck's that bad? It's not. Brother, yeah. It's not based off of fucking my LP gains It's just based off an arbitrary number you threw okay, so you think you can do it

Yeah, cuz I my LP gains are way higher than that if I win a game I get like 35 fucking 40 LP like I Climb I got a scene that screen often 75% of the time you're not gonna get that much as you go up, huh? You're not gonna get that much LPS you go up I think I will I mean level off of my level off of you probably have a hidden MMR The game's probably trying to pull you towards yes, thanks your true skill is yeah And then you'll it'll plateau my plateau bit or it doesn't or it's awesome because I just keep true skill assignment No, I think I think I think I'll hit it okay

I mean it's easy to a words are easy to say I bet on me. I bet on me. You kind of have to my Lux played. All right, I'm not kidding brother I do your looks who's not playing all I do see it. No, I hit a couple alts. Yeah, oh, yeah, oh Lux all No, that's You would want it. Dude, it'd be so embarrassing to miss. It's a straight line. I missed it more than I hit it actually.

Oh, okay. It was confusing because I have to... Is it a skillshot? Yeah, a skillshot that fills the fucking screen. I don't really know where the keys on my keyboard are until I look down. If you don't play the game, it's the giant beam of light that goes straight like a Kamehameha. You know what? There's kind of a delay. There's a delay.

They can't move. They can't move. But you know, you could anticipate where they... it's fine. They're probably getting CC'd by someone on your team. I also have to look down at my keyboard to see where R is. That's crazy! Dude, dude, I actually wanted to throw up. He loads into his training mode of League, which is actually very bad.

I don't think it teaches you that's a stoned lie. I don't think the game teaches you that. Oh, maybe their walkthrough is bad, but their actual like training like because you can say that the tools are so good. I mean, I had to play the tutorial. I bet the toot is that. And so so you load it up and he's looking at QWER and he's looking at it like I can see the gears of his head being like...

Like he's uncovered a fucking tomb script. He's thinking like do I have to use these buttons? He's trying to read the Dead Sea Scrolls. I'm like... Oh no, that's exactly... I was like can I put these on my mouse? Yeah, like... Which is great, like legacy keys were in Dota for a long time. They'd be all over the map because they were attached to like the letter in the word.

But that was funny. Also, I told him in chat mouse over the ability to learn what it does. And he said, oh, that's so good. No, I said, oh, that's helpful. That's helpful. And I was like, we're starting to be helpful. They want a baby. I need to be fed.

I need a diaper change. Reduce content for fucking Dota summits like you watch in the entire way I said, I don't get it. I don't Don't get it. I can't see this it feels it feels like I'm blind to it. Hey help playing is helping I know I'm like I kind of get it if squeaks is live. I've been rejoicing in their stream all day Zipper Keys, see if Squeaks is live? I've been rejoicing in their stream all day. The stands of Squeaks? Just stuck on one. What? Which one?

Fall Guys. Oh. They just go live and they do a Fall Guys stream for eight hours. Me and Alex played Fall Guys off stream because we hadn't played like in a really long time and we won our second game. He's on chess. Oh, are they playing a bug snap or whatever?

This is their best right now. They're at four. Yeah, they're playing Bug House. I don't know why they're playing Bug House. Wait, Gauntlet progression? I think they're... Zero out of ten. Zero out of ten it says. Um, this is... Oh, yeah, I thought I said four they're playing bug house. Wait, gauntlet progression. I think they're 0 out of 10. I don't think Squeak says.

0 out of 10 it says. This is... Oh yeah, I thought I said 4. This is really bad. Nick reading the board state. He's tapping his pieces to see the... To see where they move? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, the Queen's in trouble, so now he's gonna win. Has this been good? I haven't watched it. Is this good content? Their runs? I like it, personally. I just like...

It's made in one. Squeak's got a haircut just like but I mean one. It's a haircut. Black has made one. Wow. He should be getting the haircuts. Should be trying to hang on to it. He has to drag his bishop on. When you're going bald, getting a haircut is very scary.

Is it going to come back? I'm even low key scared of like shaving my head because I think it'd go back different. But I don't know if that's real. Well, that's what Hank Green went through, but he also had cancer. Yes. I think you'll be fine. If we put you through chemo. Yeah, I'm asking him this exact question.

Actually, it was a show. He's a show and it's like, actually, if you have any questions, maybe it's not too late. But he's like, give me 10 topics that people wonder about and I will answer them all. It can be potpourri, I think I'll send, I'll share what I sent him. You know, it's funny. I was worried about getting older in the past couple of months. I've been thinking about it a lot. I wanted to message Hank Green.

He's 10 years older than me and ask him for like his thoughts, but he doesn't follow me. So I can't. And I was too embarrassed to ask Ludwig to do that for me. Hank Green follows me. That's crazy. I did the other week and he responded. Oh, no way. Hank Green doesn't follow me. So me and you.

I'll bring it up. I asked him about growing a company that he's the face of. And if he ever wonders what would happen if he left the company. Oh, that's a good question. I was curious about that. I asked, I'm asking him, what did people do before we had credit scores? And why does my taint hurt when I sneeze? Does it? Yeah.

Why? Well, I know. Sorry, that was a bad question. Did you ever get a random sharp pain in your butthole? I get that. My taint, not my butthole. I looked it up. I looked it up. What is it? It's a thing. It's like normal. It's not bad for you. Normal? It just happens.

Dude, sometimes I'd be walking home from work and I would just like that pain would come. I'm gonna shit my pants on this fucking walk home. This is all it's over for me. What? What are you fucking laughing about? I thought you said sometimes when I'm walking home from work at first and I was like from what did you just get a job? I had a moment where like, are you like quietly working at Bed, Bath, and Beyond? If you were working 9 to 5 without telling any of us, that'd be so beast. That'd be really funny.

That'd be fire. I've thought about this because I've always wanted to get like a weekend job dealing poker. But then I was like, yeah, comma poker. That's a hilarious way to say that. But I don't like the idea of just taking someone else's job who might need those shifts arbitrarily. Yeah, so that's like the idea of just taking someone else's job who might need those shifts arbitrarily. Yeah, so that's like the moral of the line.

I think in the current job market, for at least those types of positions, there's more available than people to take them, right? For poker dealing? I don't know the climate. I don't know the poker dealers. What's the landscape, right? But it's more like the idea of like, I would only be doing it to pass time and do something fun instead of a wage.

Maybe I give the wages to another guy. We've been talking about making big changes to this podcast. Okay. You know, and oftentimes when we do that, we have to spend money to do so. So I found some opportunities for us at discount from a different show that is auctioning off a lot of its valuables and IP. Alex Jones is auctioning off everything Infowars owns in order to pay back the Sandy Hook victims.

And I was wondering how much does he own? I mean, like, dude, like a billion dollars. He doesn't have a billion. Yeah, he has a lot of money. But he has to liquidate like his entire company. He has to give as much as he can give, basically. So you can buy. Wait, is there a link?

You can buy. So I don't know. Wait, is there a link? You can buy stuff. Is it for people? You can look up info wars auction. Here's an eye at Autofill's. Apparently, this is coming up like a rapper. And it's like just dropped a rack. And I'm like this and I'm just surrounded by his like tables and chairs and road.

This is a moral dilemma. I think you can even straight up buy. I thought about this, by the way. You can even straight up buy, I thought about this by the way, you can straight up even buy like the Infowars IP in the auction. Cause you are on one hand. It is a moral dilemma. It is a moral dilemma.

What's the point in making it like a micro penis foundation? But you are ultimately, it's like at first glance, I was like, am I helping out Alex Jones? Yes. But on second thought, I'm like, no, it's kind of like I'm donating to the families of the Sandy Hook victims.

Cause they receive the punitive damages. Because he doesn't have the money to pay them either way, right? That's kind of like I'm donating to the families of the Sandy Hook victims. Because they receive the punitive damages. Because he doesn't have the money to pay them either way, right? That's why he has to do this. It's almost in that positive... For him? No, that the people who are buying this stuff are going to be people who are consumers and fans of Infowars, and that they're the ones who are losing the money. We take it away from them.

Right. Because presumably if you win the bid on an item, they're not losing the money. And they, I think maybe should, because they're also like, probably perpetuating a lot of the dumb shit he says. It's like buying a bit like an old school Nazi flag and then burning it. Like instead of the guys that would hang it up in their trailer. I have to pass. But they would hang it up in their trailer.

That's what I'm saying. What we would be doing is a good thing, because we're taking it from the weirdo. I think it's a bad thing because the weirdos would have lost more money. I don't think the weirdos should get to have the palette of Alex Jones protein supplements. I think that's fine. I don't think because that's a win for them.

I forgot he's so like doomsday shit. Yeah, his body looked like a big crab. Is there a link to the auction items? Apparently, apparently when I found out about this like five days ago, it hadn't started yet. Yeah, it might not be public yet. But I think it's happening at some point. It's just announced, we're probably not out.

But if we need any resources or memorabilia. Well, the Yard livestream to raise money for Alex Jones will be coming to a Twitch channel near you. We talked about the yard sale. Yes, and now we have the yard purchase. The end of the... Yard Wars. Yard Wars.

Oh. Patreon exclusive show. We get political. We get political. We're getting freaking hella political. Did you see the post? Did you see the post on our subreddit from some guy, some guy in Lebanon?

He's like, come to Lebanon. No, he was... That was a different post, which was crazy to read that after this first one The first one was I'm listening to the podcast right now while airstrikes hit my city Yeah, and he's like the airstrikes are like hitting nearby outside and I have the pod on right now This is so surreal of like five days later someone else from Lebanon posts and is like, they should come visit Beirut, like unironically. And I was I read that post. And then I was you know, I was thinking about saying like,

I don't know if like we'd come right now. The top comment was already a third listener from Lebanon who said, it's a bad time. It's like, let me just beat you guys to it. Like, that's great. We have so many bad time. Lebanon, Lebanese, Lebanese listeners. That's great. We have so many Lebanon, Lebanese listeners. That's cool.

Look, as a new as a newly minted member of the Balkan Peninsula, which is close enough, it's true. Far. It's close. It's close enough. It's kind of close. There's like a turkey between them. Oh, I'm sorry. This well, France is farther away in an ocean.

It's kind of like you draw a triangle between them. You know, in a turkey. They're not equidistant. But what I'm saying is, look, I away in an O. And it's kind of like you draw a triangle. There's a C and a turkey. They're not equidistant. But what I'm saying is, look, I'd love to go. Maybe when things simmer down a little bit, we actually generally hope you're all safe. 100 percent. So that one is safer. You can come here in any area that is experiencing war conflict and kinetic strikes.

I hope you're OK. I think that's it. But when we change the Infowars branding, I won't say that anymore. It's gonna be all different. But understand we still feel it, even though we don't say it. We're coming to Lebanon.

People took me to the first episode of the D&D show and the desk is just the Alex Jones Infowars desk. We played D&D on that. This person says, I got scared that the last joke I would ever hear was Ludwig talking about jerking people's shit with Mickey Mouse clubs. Wow. Luckily I'm safe now. Thank God. Jesus Christ, man.

It was just funny that this one came after that first one. We should send like, I don't know, something. I went to New York and I went to nightclub. I went to go play melee. Met a bunch of people there. Very nice. One fan came up to me at the end of the night and he said, I love the girls night shirt.

It's awesome. I've been wearing it out to bars and last week I wore it to some random bar in New York and four different people asked me about it and bought the shirt. Like four non-yardigans saw him wearing the shirt at the bar and then ordered the pre-order shirt with you smoking crack on the back of it. The idea of a guy being like, I have this funny shirt of a guy smoking crack that says girls night, I don't know who you are.

That just means it's good apparel. That warms my heart. That's like what skateboarding clothes. You got to give 10 percent like they need. Yeah, that's a commit. I don't even have one. I need to ask. Can you get me?

Yeah, I have one. It's tight. I will say that a lot of things in this life pass through me as a feeling accomplished, but me smoking a crack pipe on a shirt and people go in that's hype. That makes me feel pretty good. It's fucking hot. And Riot Games didn't want that in.

Look where it's got us. Look where it's got us. We snuck it in. Pissing me off, bro. Oh yeah. Also, did Mike tell you this? And this will remain anonymous for them, of course, but someone through the customer support wanted to change their girls night t-shirt order to a larger size because they're pregnant.

And they said they want to be wearing it while giving birth. Oh, no, we should have fucking beautiful. We should have said no to that. I know you say you're beautiful. I mean, I think is girl as the girls. And also, maybe you're not considering it. What if it's a crack baby that's part of their culture? Or if it's a girl being born.

I was thinking more the opposite where like the doctor sees this and just pulls the baby into the NICU for like. I actually have a better idea. We make a baby sized version of the girls night shirt. Girls night onesie? We make an exclusive one for the baby. Girls night. Look, right into the yard discord, if you have a baby and we'll make them a shirt

I can a girl's nice shirt print on a shirt that small it is possible. Yes, Ludwig Don't think that they wear They don't wear clothes with print on them. What about those Disney? It says like daddy's little goofy Can't believe you're my boss Terror just oh you're frig boss. That is so goofy. Just, oh you're friggin' baby expert cause you drink baby breast milk one time. Yeah, so I know more.

I've seen and I've tasted more. He said it's got umami. That's what he said. Yeah, it's a good taste. You saw Iron Mouse break record? Yeah, it sucks that it's all going to a crypto scam. Wait, is it the all time? Yes, it sucks that it's all going to crypto scam. The all time? Yes. I don't know what he's referencing.

It is going to. Is it not a crypto scam? What? Iron Mouse? Oh, no. Iron Mouse is a sentient NFT. And she's the world's first AI NFT crypto. That's why she's like a VTuber, because there's no traceable like a whole thing. It's not it's technically not going to an address.

And Elon saved Twitter and comedy. It's just going to 20 wallets. Iron coin. No, it's going to the IDF. No, that's right. Yeah. Oh, shit. And then she said, to be clear, it's different IDF. I forgot that. The Iron Mouse Defense Force.

Required. Yeah, that's a big rush. She got so many subs. What? Turn out to be great, too. What I was curious about was the twitch thing where they're matching. Yeah. Was that part of the number or is that irrelevant to the number? It's part of it. Yeah. They just gift it like instantly. Oh, so like if you gift, I don't know how it works, but like I've seen someone get like five gifted subs and Twitch Twitch gifted 26. Is this a roll or something?

Like it's a random? It's part of the end of September for the final few days. For gifted, Twitch is just matching a random amount for any gifts over five. That's so interesting. Wait, so matching a random amount as in it could be more? Yeah. You could get five and then it You know I saw someone get five gifted and then twitch gave 26. That's like an automated. I think it's usually 20% I'm pretty sure but for them. I think it just increases the total amount of subs and For sub timber which is like, but they're just losing money Yeah, they are right cuz we think we if you're a streamer you're gifting subs and you're losing money

But it's it's done as a marketing spend to the good faith and the goodwill of the community that you fostered on the website Yeah, that's like how they don't see my company. I would be that break even I'm not exactly sure how they they've set it up I don't think it loses too much. Hmm, and I think you know how they've set it up. I don't think it loses too much. And I think, you know, it's good because like it has made the... I guess if one streamer gets 26, another one gets like one. Oh, so they probably have a bounce. Yeah, so it'll definitely get one. And like it also made, you know, the most sub streamer of all time. Like they got that through this and quite a few people overall.

No shade. I mean, no shade at all. Is it a little Mickey Mouse? Because of like the Twitch matching at all? It's as Mickey Mouse as Ninja's record because he did it through Primes or mine because I did it through a Subathon when, you know, Gifted came out. I feel like yours and Kai's weren't though, right? I'm not saying it's all Mickey Mouse, right? I don't mean to take it away from her. I was just curious about how the numbers were. Yeah, wasn't his because of like a Fortnite in-game thing though? Yeah, but you got Twitch primes So you had to like it's but like so they're all there's always gonna be some sort of like

There's always some sort of mechanism that's helping it along and like this one, you know Someone could not replicate next month, but that's just like whatever I think the problem is here and not you know, Ironmouth seems like a great person or persons You know what I'm saying? The problem is here, and you know, Ironmouse seems like a great person or person's. Oh, do do do do do. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like Shakespeare. A VTuber sub-a-thon is like Shakespeare. All right, I got a call.

I said, hey, they say, hey, you want to be my Ironmouse for like a day or two? Yeah. Well, she rests. I was like, fuck it. Let's go. I'm breaking this news right here in the Yard podcast. I'm saying that a VTuber subathon is more mysterious and maybe the crypto scam should go to me as well What is he saying? I don't think there's a crypto scam I think he's just saying he wants money I lost him like five words there

He wants money I think You just want money? He wants a lot of money I think so Oh yeah I would like some of the iron mouse I was the IDF all along Give me my money

That's cool It's a lot of damn subs It's a lot of damn subs I'm gonna hit a million subs one day And they're gonna live probably in like Spain or not in the US It's way possible yeah I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet Actually with the Spanish streamer. Well, maybe just a non-english-speaking country. I'm not crazy. They're so much cheaper

I feel like the Spanish streamers have have felled off Where are the big? Indian streamers, where are they? I don't think they're on twitch Where they have their own YouTube? I think YouTube's a pretty popular site. I don't know if there's a native site to India. T-Series playing Fortnite. But YouTube's big. The biggest ever live stream ever of all time ever is like an Indian news station. Really?

What was the- Like a single- What was the broadcast? Coverage of the election. American election? No. Oh the Indian election. I election? No. Indian election. I was gonna say.

Number one. What's going on with this Trump guy? Nah, I forget how many views. Man, maybe 8 million? That's how much the Red Bull like stratosphere skydiving thing was. Dude, that had the record for so long. And that was like before livestream stream was a big deal. Yeah, that was tight, bro.

Before I got off stream last night, I was like, I should raid someone. And I had like 700 viewers and like that. And I was like, I was looking at my people I'm following and gifted hater was online. I was like, oh, I'll raid gifted hater. I didn't even look what he was doing. I was just, I just raided him.

And then I raided him. Then I went and looked what he was doing. And a bunch of his friends were in a dark room with like those lights that put pictures on the wall, like almost at the stars. But it was like flower stuff. You'd see like a karaoke room. They're singing karaoke.

One of the tabs on their Google Chrome says, how tall is Ludwig? No fucking way. Which was great. The coincidence is insane. But they're doing, they're doing like Jamaican renditions of like post hardcore music and like punk music. So they're like, they're doing like Death Cab for Cutie Selecta.

Oh my God. And it was, I watched for like two hours. Like I was mesmerized by it. They're all shirtless, they're drunk as all piss, and they're just picking Death Cab for Cutie and random songs and then just doing it. They said bumma clot maybe like 150 times an hour. It was surreal.

Gift to hater, if you're watching, which I know you're not, watch Like It Rough, or Life Is Rough, the DCOM, and video on the skateboarding on it. Oh my god, I remember that one. You saw that one? Yeah, when I was young. We watched it.

That one's a hit. Yeah, there's a Brazilian pro skateboarder who is a double for the main character. Imagine getting called up for that gig. We need a skate, we need a skater, we need someone to skateboard as a double for Kyle Massey. Yeah. In 2005. You're not good enough to be in Tony Hawk games, but you're good enough to pretend to be Cory in the house That's big

What dude well I I Got this from Schlatt actually it's the cringiest thing I do I shouldn't tell you you're gonna make fun of me Tell me I would love to make fun of you and I will I would love to make fun of you. I'm gonna make fun of you. I do a net worth tracker. No way Yeah, there's a way on rock and money where you put all your accounts and it tells you your net worth. You up or down? Uh, down tremendously.

Okay. Just pay in taxes. Did an option play on Dogecoin to close at 12 cents, close at 13. I'm out 50, 50, 50k right now. And you needed the app to tell you that. Well, it does sell you with accuracy. You've also been subscribed to Xbox Live for 11 years. Four subscriptions, that's right.

And seven Nintendo subscriptions. And I don't know how to get rid of them. I just use it for the net worth part. Well, I can help you. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. It's a net worth app. It only does net worth.

It monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. It does more than that. I'm pretty sure it's just for the net worth thing. it doesn't have worth. It monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. It says it right here, I haven't pulled up right now. It is reminding me that I have an Xbox Game Pass subscription that I never use. You don't even have an Xbox. We use that at PSL, so we just haven't been telling him. They use my account at PSL! I'm subsidizing PSL, Rocket Money's a narc.

Mango can turn you out. And I need to cancel! Mango can turn you out with your subscription for two years, but the moment Nick does, it's a problem. Oh, turn you out. And I need to cancel. Mango can turn you out with your subscription for two years. But the moment Nick does the problem. Oh, it's a problem when your best friend does it. Mango only gets my prime, which doesn't show up in Rocket Money, which is good. Most people think they're spending only around 60 bucks a month, which is crazy.

I spend 8,000. 8,000 a month? No, you don't. Well, you're just lying. Company wise. I mean, maybe you're not. That's that's the scary part. Here's the thing. Here's what's not scary.

Rocket Money has over 5 million users, has saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps featured. Dude, you can track your credit with this shit. Seriously, avoid being like Ludwig. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rockandmoney.com slash the yard. Okay, Ludwig? Rockandmoney.com slash the yard.

Slash the yard. I think I think you should investigate the other features of that app. Just doing the not worth thing for me. Let's investigate the rest of this episode. I was sad I couldn't watch. You asked me to. I was in Seattle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You also missed the the 010 Goat versus Zane show. Man, I miss all this.

I don't even know this is happening. Yes. Yeah. Zane beat Mango 10. Oh, well, he wasn't trying. It was at a tournament. It was like a pop up tournament, a pop up thing. And it's like there was like an eight man like Toronto bracket. He said, no, no.

And so, you know, why are you trying to fucking leave Zayn out high and dry? No, it's just, I'm not. I'm telling you what it is. I think it should count. So then count it. That's not how it works. Why are you spitting on me? Because he's my player and you're screwing him.

I'm not doing anything. I invited him to my tournament which he refused to go to. That is crazy. We should try to get A non-hawk to a Understand talk to is number three. Yeah, she's big in the world We were like number nine when we started now like number fucking 17 and comedy podcasts in America. We four guys 17 in comedy podcasts in America for guys We peed top 20 when we started eat my dick talk 20 so far from my dick hole so far from time He was 13 exactly eat so far from top 10. He said he's not so far from top 10 American number one away

That's that's for us in it's as far as she is from one when talk to a falls down in the ranks Maybe it was she'll they'll start a'll start fielding calls from shows like us. It's not gonna fall down the ranks, bro. Can you go on? You could get on Talk2 easily. Nah, man. You're such a bitch. No, he's right.

Talk2 is hot right now. Haley Welch doesn't fuck with Ludwig right now. Do you think we could get her on to like Blue Sky or like Threads? Are you gonna get her off X? No, she's been paid fucking millions for X. You seen Connor use your Shred? Yeah. Dude, I'm gonna be, I kinda, maybe I'm crazy.

I too far. You can't, dude, I do not think you can rip it off. You can do this on Reddit and bring up the post. I will say Connor Eats Pants is going down a dangerous line recently. He had some critical acclaim for his stream with the exotic Tiger King. Yes. From his jail cell.

From his jail cell. Dude, he actually did that one, too. And now he has locked a Fortnite Friday with George Santos. George Santos. No fucking way! You didn't see this, did you? What? George Santos replied.

Disgraced congressman George Santos. Disgraced fat gay congressman. Yes. Republic congressman. I only hate him for one of those things. And he's going to have him on. And he's- That's fucking crazy.

And now he's somehow managed Hayley Welch hawk to a girl to reply to his DMs, presumably, to also go for it on Friday. Because he said he was gonna crash into the median Yeah, I think I think this is a this is a foolproof strategy I I this is the this is the me three-step plan to get anyone to reply to you It's on the subreddit. It just says like the Nick method worked or something He also has go to ConnorEatsPants' Twitter and go to replies. It's like recent but

So he's going big. He's going big. I'm a little worried about his guests. Like, I feel like if he could get Alex Jones, he would. I feel like if he was around, he might be tweeting at him. Well, is it not is he not just becoming like the new Rogan? If he if there was like a no, not if he goes, not if you listen. I want to go full Tucker Carlson and go to Russia to interview Putin. OK, so Haley Welch tweeted something. Thanks, SNL.

But please don't edit my charity. Pause Across America. She does love dogs and such. And then Connor replied, Haley, if you don't respond to my direct message, I'm going to crash my vehicle into the highway median ratios are six times six. X Haley Welch on access car. I don't look at Ds usually, but I will. And then it, so basically that's what we've left out.

And Connor quote tweets it. And he's just like, take notes y'all. Some shit like that. Jesus. Yeah. No, this is awesome. This is, it's the plan at work. It's how you get people's attention.

I think the difference between Connor, if he keeps getting these guests, and Joe Rogan is one simple man Jamie He has no Jamie. Yeah, I think Jamie actually adds so much to Joe Rogan because if imagine if he wasn't there because it because No one if no one pulls it up It's just Joe I think making shit up without I feel like Connor invited you to for night Fridays is like Eric Andre inviting you to the Eric Andre show It's like like the Tiger King rage quit the interview. Yeah, that's true Yeah, yeah

It's awesome. You have to like you're consenting softly to some sort of wacky experience that you might not end up liking Yeah, Connor cuz Connor didn't look up anything Yeah He just kind of vaguely knew that he was in jail and I think watched the Tiger King documentary four years ago. And so he was like, he was just saying shit and then Joe Exotic, you know, regardless of right or wrong, he's like, you don't even know what you're talking about.

He's like, yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't know what I'm talking about. I lie. I'm just playing Fortnite. I gave it 99, bro. It's cool. So we'll see, we'll see. The George Santos one should be...

It's some. Maybe the yard with Connor should be in Fortnite. It should be live from Fortnite, like from Tilted Towers or something, you know? Like they're avatars? Yeah, we're avatars and Connor's there and the whole episode's in Fortnite. Dude, they're all- and it's like people are sitting in like chairs in Fortnite. We can have someone build the yard in Fortnite. Dude, they're all, and it's like people are sitting in like chairs in Fortnite. We can have someone build the yard in Fortnite. They have the tools. And they're like, it's like the Travis Scott concert, they're like Kaijus. One of us is Peter Griffin.

Gigantic and they're knocking down Tilted. I've had to play Fortnite for the challenge. There's some IP in that game. That is crazy. Dude, it's so good. It looks like Netflix in there. What a good game, bro. You think so? It's so good. It looks like Netflix in there. What a good game, bro. You think so? It's so good.

I feel like if you're a kid, it's like a dream game. Because there's not just Fortnite, bro. It's like there's Fortnite. There's all the fucking custom games now. Like, dude, I got in and there's like, dude, there's straight up like there was a thing called like Fortnite, like, like Fort and then night like a night. And it was like a total reskin there's a totally different game it looked like fucking Elden Ring yeah they had like the Lego

collab there they're very good at keeping the treadmill going of like oh that's cool Dr. Doom's in this bitch now bro I heard some shit about fortnight what are you talking about dude so they started paying out map creators okay and it's like a big thing they were doing to basically compete with roblox because they want kids to be on Fortnite, but not just playing the battle royale playing they want them to be slaves. Yes, make that make our make our exact games for us make the games for us. But then they pay if people are using your map if your concurrent player base because you're basically making you know kind of a game in a way. Uh, and they paid a lot, but what they messed up is that there was already

maps that were mega popular and had a shit ton of players, like one V one maps where people would practice. But they didn't build battles. And no, they did count them, but the same as someone making a new map, you know, for like hide and seek or whatever. Why is that bad? Because they ended up paying out like tens of millions of dollars to these map creators that had already made it. Yeah. That people were already on.

That weren't bringing more value. That weren't bringing more value. But you still get them theirs, right? Which is kind of cool. I mean, it's sick for them. It's like bad. You're paying retrospectively. It's just an insanely-

Retroactively. Like, they weren't doing that to be nice you're paying retrospectively. It's just an insanely- Retroactively. Like they weren't doing that to be nice. They just fucked up. That's funny. Well I don't think they have a choice because if they did that and then- Yeah they do. Did you pay them? They do.

Just pay out new users. Yeah but if they did a new- well maybe yeah. That's it. That's literally- and that's what they switch it to. Ah okay. So they just- they were like ah yeah we're fucking out 50 mil. We should probably switch it. You know what? Fuck them. Epic. They'll be alright. But, we're fucking out 50 mil. We should probably switch it. You know what? They'll be alright epic. They'll be alright. It's crazy

Millions a month. I love 300 million a month at peak they were it was an announced More get the sliding thing pick up the car 300 million a month anymore. Someone get the sliding thing, pick up the car. The car, it's everywhere now. We can look this up. Well, I think that number's under lock and key. They were making 300 million dollars a month at one point.

Yeah, but if you're quoting like 2018 ninja numbers. If that's true what he just said, then what he said is not crazy. Smoker day. What the fuck do you know about shit? He's going in the long way, bud. So you're saying they never had that much money a month? Not. Oh, hey.

Oh shit. Bro, I cracked Kelby this weekend. Oh my God. Yeah. I've never seen him so mad. You took him out of the- Did you rip up a hundred dollar bill in front of him? What'd you do? Okay.

Let's go, dude. No! You want to see Kelby get mad? This company, it gives you wings. And that's why it tastes so damn good. Archie man Sponsored announce it if you're if you love it so much I

Well, I don't want any of this in We can bleep we bleep over it Archie take this get the shed the smoldering remains of this bit. Do the robot gives you wings over it. I love that every time. No, man, we just hung out like 24 hours. And there's the like Sunday yesterday was like the long. You know, show day, and it lasted like 10 hours.

So Kelly, just by the end of it, was really tired. But I was hanging out with them all weekend. I'm just fucking I'm doing this every five. So you're a fun guy to travel. I'm doing this. I know I know I looked I look too I don't every five. So I'm getting them. I'm getting to meet twitchcon I'm doing it in ways that he's like never seen that's like it's for me a standard But like I'm dropping shit and like he goes to pick it up and I have it there He's like wait you didn't Plan to drop that and then by the end of the day I look at him

He just looks really fucked. Like, like, like he just looks fed up. Like shell shocked. Yeah, like I was just on the couch, but he just like, he was just like, he was like, and then I'm hitting with it and I'm like, I'm fucking around still. And in the Uber, I can just see the hairs on his neck going up. And after we were like going to go to the hotel, we're in, has some like rooftop food after party that Red Bull's putting on.

And we're like, yeah, let's all meet up there and comes like, yeah, I'll meet you guys there. Never showed up. Oh, never showed up. Didn't get food. I don't know what he ordered McDonald's. Are you saying you drove him to the brink of insanity? I think me in conjunction with the longer day. Yeah, took him out. Yeah, he's not built for that. He's not built for that shit, bro.

I and then I also was at the after party. Tens is kind of like a he drinks like a young man, like a lot, just an infinite amount of shots. He is a young man. Yes. You know, you know, he drinks like one, too. You know who commands mango's respect is tens. Because his drinking. Yeah, they may go fucks with tens heavily, he drinks like one too. You know who commands mango's respect is Tenz. Because of his drinking love. They, Mango fucks with Tenz heavily because he's like, I got hammered with that guy once.

Tenz loves getting fucked up and he loves ripping shots beyond his limit. It's not like he's like, oh yeah, I know how many shots I can take. It's like, oh yeah, shot time. Um, yeah, sure. And you're like, do a little. And it was just this horrible well tequila. And they, and they served him in these glasses that were like little vases that were two shots And I was like I was like he has a porn heavy and the guy was like yeah

And I know my limit cuz I think I got a stomach ulcer from drinking this past week, okay That's scary and you poop blood a little bit No, okay, but I just was bloated all like like 48 hours after and just had stomach pain. And so I was like, I don't want to drink a lot, but they kept ripping shots. And so I started cheese and I started cheating. Oh, yeah. You know, he's I was literally doing I was doing the eat the line, throw it in the bag. No way. And I was and I was doing I was getting away with it because it in the back. No way. And I was doing it, I was getting away with it

because of big group shots. You gotta do that sometimes. What's the last time you did this? Was it with Mango or something? You've talked about faking the funk before like this, which I respect, because it's like, you're just trying to keep the vibes going. I'm faking the funk, I'm handing off shots when I can,

right, I'm doing all this. At one point though, this is when I felt bad, is me and Tarik were doing a shot just us together. And it's, and it's that. And I go, and I do, and I tried to pour it and he goes, you're pouring that. He clocked you? Yeah. Cause I was just, I was like, I had the big glass and I was just trying to remove some of it. And I was just going, I was just going, I was just jerking my hand to just get rid of like half the glass. And he's like, and he like grabbed my hand. He's like, no, he doesn't take it. So then when I eat the lime, I did a sly behind the back.

I got rid of it and I did it and I got away with it and I felt so bad. He's like, that's so true. What was that? That was supposed to be Tarek. That was good. It's the only lime I have. Dude, that was fucked up because you hate Turks. I do hate them. That's why I mocked them. That came from a bad place. It's an only line dude that was fucked up because you hate Turks It's an evil place no, it's like a Archie's impression of Andrew Tate is one thing and it's you're not fat

It's the only thing you can say but he says it really well. Wait, so the venue floor just fuck was just sticky Oh, yeah, man. I was fucking A plan through the plant. Oh you're outside, but no, they just was fucking. I threw in a plant. I threw in a plant. Oh, you're outside? No, they just had like a fake indoor plant. Oh, so it's good so it couldn't die over the night. It's a dicky fake indoor plant now. Someone puts his cigarette out on it and the whole building goes up. That was a trip. Did the Moisters win? Nah, we lost.

Bummer. We lost, but we weren't watch. Nah, we lost. Bummer. We lost. But we weren't ever gonna win. Okay. We didn't practice for this event. Our team is in shambles. In disarray. Moist, Bex, Shopify is RIP.

At least the team that existed. Because of the season and shit? We just have really talented players who have all or many have gotten offers from like Tier 1 teams. Oh. And so they're just going... Their minds are just elsewhere? Huh? Are their minds just elsewhere?

Or what? Double made a farm team. No, they're already like doing that, like our season ended. Oh, okay. So we weren't like, come back, you really have to practice for this qualifier for an event that'll happen after you're gone for a. For a different team to win at. At that point, it's just good like tournament practice. This is literally just a last hurrah. Sure.

Do you have a farm team? Uh, do you know what that is? Yeah, our team is in a roundabout way, a farm team, but only if we don't promote. That's how it works. Yeah, if you had won the tournament, then it wouldn't be a farm team. Yeah. But you guys. Team is like you you both of it. It's like it's like a team.

It's a team you own or keep to like develop talent to come up. It's how minor league baseball works. It's how League Academy worked. And I guess still works to some degree. It's used in a pejorative a lot of time. It's like, oh, that's just a farm team. I mean, there's no difference between like farm teams and like us. Is there is there is a way to promote.

Yeah. Yeah, in the wild west world of esports. A farm team has like no reason to have like a dedicated fan base, right? That's so wishy washy and like players are constantly leaving. Yeah, 100%. You'd have to be pretty diehard about a sport to like follow. You'd only be a... Usually farm teams are connected to a major league team, so you're a fan of your major

league's farm team. Oh yeah, you know when Michael Jordan went to play baseball Yes, he played on the White Sox farm team. This is all explained in money ball So you should Ball in clips on YouTube Apparently you missed the farm Looking at Jonah Hill that long. Yeah.

That's fucked up, man. Crucial. Crucial criticism. Dude, we did this Cold Ones shoot. Oh yeah. What happened, dude? It might be the single worst video if they upload it to ever come out. Really?

The office was fucked up. There was like food everywhere, like crumbs of food on tables What we like stole shit? Yeah, he did apparently cuz I know but like okay, so here's what happened the shoe What we took postcards what we took our yard postcards. Yeah some shit. We make up when we don't think Toby told him. But he actually did! He did! What a dog ate the other half. He was just shitting out because what we took was a fucking stale obsession. I got a message from Max that was like

a bar speedrun? Because I think he saw that I did it with C-Dog and Alex and the fourth person who I love dearly that's crazy I don't remember but it's not my job so Doug Doug Doug Doug Doug Doug Doug Jesus real skill to guys dog did some funny shit he said he said uh hey we're doing a meetup here and then dropped a XY like fucking coordinate

Yeah, and it was the top of a mountain in New Zealand And then he said meet up in one hour and then in an hour is just when he was his hike was done He was like here, but one person replied to that little joke and they're like we're on the way. Please wait. We've been hiking That's I didn't click on that cuz I was like, Doug Doug's a coder. This might be a computer worm. You thought he was trying to fucking get that into it. I didn't want the smoke, but I did know there was some joke brewing. So anyway, I thought it was the bar speed run and I was like,

what are we doing? And then Max says, don't ask me, your company's doing it. And so then I didn't even know about that off-brand was like shooting it. I came in and it was Andrew and Ryan outfitting a van. Yes. With cameras. Yeah. And I'm like that big beast. And I ask them and they're like, oh, our job is just to film and get, you know, permission from the bars.

They're doing the creative. And so I'm like, what's the creative to them? And they're like, ah, you know, we'll just have drinks and we'll come together. And and so all we do is we go to a bar. We get alcohol, which is like a shot in some drink base. And then we go to another bar. Oh, another bar. You drink it again. And we do it like eight times.

Are you cracking jokes and shit? We're cracking jokes. And you're drunk is all piss. We're drunk is all piss. Everyone threw up. We just had and Wubbe threw up by bar four. Yeah, you're describing this like it's not fucking cool. I just...

It sounds funny. I don't know how it is cohesive at all. It's just... The narrative of getting drunk progressively through the night. It's just eight bars. I will tell you, Chad, I asked him, I was like, what's the thing you're the most proud of these days

that you're putting out? Well, when we were there in Australia and he said we did like a pub Like a bar thing in some remote town. Yeah, and he loved that. He was like, that's my shit I think it was a great produced video and it's like the concept I want to be doing which is drinking Yeah, it's kind of funny and I was like, oh, that's sick So it sounds like this is an extension of what fulfills him Well, what he said about the video is I don't know if this is gonna be a what fulfills him. But you're meeting this with criticism. What he said about the video is, I don't know if this is going to be a video.

My alcoholic homie just became a YouTuber. So we gotta kind of be supportive now, I guess. The issue is like there was cameras and they're following people. But like, so we're in round one and we're supposed to do like some arcade game. And then like the winner gets the losers and force them to drink something. Max and Michael just left and then went to the bar and got shots off cam. Okay. Like this this type of thing would happen. Where it was like it was like director who directed it. It was supposed to be Darcy who's like on their team. Oh that guy. But it was too hard I think for him to just

wrangle the drunk people because they would just wander off like Winnie the Pooh to go drink some fucking honey. Oh my god. Put broomsticks. Da, da, da, da. And then the final bar we got so ho, because we go to this bar, round one, and the guy there recognizes the Cold Ones guys. And he sounds like a server dude.

He's like, guys, what's up, dude? You guys are freaking here. That's crazy. Do you want the Jimmy Slimmy? What's that? What's Jimmy Slimmy? That's what we wondered. Yeah.

Because you would wonder what that is. Because he said, you should know it. I mean, is that a guy that drank it? That's what we wondered. Yeah. Because you would wonder what that is. Because he said, like, you should know it. That's what we ate at the suck and fuck-a-thon. And so then I go, yeah, can we have the Jimmy Slimmy? He's like, dude, yeah, right away. And while he's doing that, he looks some shit up on his phone and then props it up. And I see this.

I'm like, that's weird. But maybe he doesn't know how to make it off top. And then he starts pouring some shit together. It's a blue drinking hands, it's a Michael. Michael takes a sip and he says, this is the worst thing I've ever had to never make this again. To the guy's face.

Before Michael gets to send us out as he's sipping, the guy goes, do you want me to make four more? Dude, that's crazy. And I had everyone try it. It was the most disgusting thing I ever had. When I got back, I think just off that one sip, I threw up so much in this warehouse. Zipper, zipper, Jimmy Slimmy ingredients.

You look like Jimmy Slimmy cocktail. I don't think it's real. So he's wanted to poison you. He wanted to look up on his phone. I don't know. Because when we asked him later what was in it, he said, I don't know, I just put a bunch of stuff together.

He was just watching the video of that like cum machine, putting it under the liquid, while he just put shit together. He was just watching the video of that like cum machine putting it under the liquid while he just put shit together. It was it didn't matter what was on his his camera. Whatever he feels. I threw up so fucking much and then Webby was like can I have this? So that's when he stole it. And you said yes? Well he had a pack of red bolts he's like he's like I'm taking this I said okay yeah I'm on the ground I'm lying down and he's just walking by Just said this is not a thing dude. You got you got secret weapon Jamie Jamie would be able to pull this up I just seven cigarettes Really? Yeah

That's seven New Year's with slime. Yeah in one night It was a bit of a bender and same day. I also did a shoot with the last meal people Mythical kitchen you get you eat your last meal. So they make you whatever you want. Yeah, so it's like ten courses. That's awesome It's awesome fucking awesome. I did it the same day. I had like 15 shots and drinks and shit ruined. Oh wait, was it the same day same day? It was like so you ruined your last meal for yourself? Yeah, yeah. Oh.

It tastes gross now? Hours after. No, I don't think I have taste aversion. Wait, you drank in the morning? No, no, the shoot for the last meal was like two to six and then the drinking was six to like midnight. Basically it all happened in one day, which are two things you don't wanna have happen

in the same day. Yeah. Which is drinking. If you were shooting a video about both of those things, that would be a good video. I ate a ridiculous amount of food then I drank a ridiculous amount of alcohol I ate 4,000 calories then drank 4,000 calories I think I gained 8 pounds that day I like that, like you're putting your body to the test

because that's what I try to do nightly Michael Phelps does it and look at him, he's a good swimmer He's a genetic anomaly I do burn it off like a fucking madman on my peloton What does this say? The goose? The goose? The goose? The goose. The goose? The goose.

Why do you have words on your socks, bro? Oh, don't worry about it. Pissing me off. I'm not a liberal. I got fucking purple shoes. Like Easter, Christoph Sinesti. Will you guys get a peloton with me? I will. No.

What's the what's the value of having it with you? Why did you say it like that? Because I won't do that. Just say like maybe. Yeah, no, because it's not a Why did you say it like that? Because I won't do that. Just say like maybe. Yeah, no, because it's not a maybe it's a it's a it's like I want to know that you don't think that what he's asking is because I asked you a dumb question. Crazy. You made him feel dumb.

It felt dismissive. It's dismissive. It felt dismissive. Did you intend to dismiss him? He'd somebody else in the room say yes, you know, so we decided to close together. I think you don't you say yes. I don't think it was information he used. If he said no, would I say yes?

Maybe I saw off in the below. Why won't you do it with me? Because we can just ride real bikes, man. Oh, like your bike. Yeah. Oh, like your bike that you bought. Yeah. How often did you ride that? You've been ridden it in months. You bought a bike. Yeah.

How much is it? How much is the bike? Did you? You bought a bike? I haven't ridden it in months. You bought a bike? Yeah. How much? How much was the bike? Did you buy like a fancy bike? No, it's just like a very basic road bike. He's bought sweaters more than his bike, but he doesn't ride the bitch. Is he trying to- Is what I'm saying. Were you gonna be a bike to work guy?

Hmm? Were you gonna be a bike to work guy? Yeah, and then I found out that I- I can't do the end of the ride without going up a gigantic hill every day. So it's hard. You don't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. It was meant to be like convenient.

No, there's no argument here. Yeah. When things are difficult, it's like, why? Nick, what peloton with you? He just said yes. Isn't that nice? I love doing stuff with me. No, that's not true. I actually be down because. No, he's actually immortal at Peloton, so you wouldn't'm not. That's not true. I actually be down because this is not something.

No, he's actually immortal at Peloton, so you wouldn't do it. That's exactly what I was thinking in my head. He smirked me. I was like, no matter how, because you know how Nick gets when there's a chip on his shoulder? Yeah.

No matter how much of a chip on his shoulder there is, he'd never be better at blacking than me, like given a million years. Like, so I'm down to do with you. It was just a thing I wanted to do with you three seconds ago. I'm down. And now you're blacking him a thing. I wanted to do with you three seconds ago Like what is your goal? Look would have would have happened if I had said yes fuck man You should have just said yeah, I'll be so happy in response to this question is what's the point of doing it together? Is there like a network? Yes, you push yourself

it's like it's like uh you can connect and you can ride at the same time in the same program and track each other's time and it's like working out together but not together. It's like it's like when you lift with somebody sharing your morning routine with someone without yeah I think it just holds you more accountable and it's just a bike. It's just a bike. It's a stationary bike. Yeah, is it $1400 Write this bitch off if I did it that's I'll say that much I would do this and I would play cod on the screen That's what I'm saying. That's four times the price of my real like you can't game Well, you can but you should take the classes fuck the class fucking classes What the fuck are classes? Do you have to pay for the classes?

I got 10 classes and they're all ACRs and snipers. The classes are like 35 a month or some shit. It's crazy dude. Are you gonna do this? I'm doing it. He's already doing it. Why this and not like running? I almost did this.

Running sucks ass so fucking much ass. Do you don't fucking like fucking fuckers? Running is beast mode. I hate running so much. Running is not beast mode, running is ass. I love running. I ran today That's why I had to eat my food here. I ran. I I've bro. I'm just saying Oh, I ran I ran I've run much more than you. Uh, maybe not. I'm older. I'm older It's just true. I guess

There are all my 20s. I ran way more than you. Yeah. I'm in my 20s. And then the Model T dropped and everything was changed for you. I don't know, I like it, but you don't like it. So that's fucking, you like sitting on a fucking bike, getting your shit fucking milked. So these are the people that you're, the side you're on. No, fuck you. Fuck yourself. You shouldn't die.

Like soon. Sooner than anyone expected. Is what I want. People are like, wow I did not expect that. And all the jobs that were lost. It's a big ripple of impact of what happened because he's dead now. Two companies maybe collapse. Because you've died so soon and so early.

I'm driving my freaking motorcycle in a freaking building. This is funny, you're such a two-wheeled guy even your exercise must contain it It's good man. Are you sweat? Yeah, man. I don't know. I can't work out anymore. My shoulders bad. I gotta get surgery or something shit It's not getting better. I'm sad about it. I can't do shit. His hair looks like dog shit I think the world's falling apart at our scene long It's not that bad, man. It looks pretty. It looks bad. It doesn't look bad.

I'm behind you on this. It looks it's really long. It looks bad. Bad. Like right now, like as I look. What about now? Kind of bad. It's kind of a fly look.

Kind of bad. It's kind of hot. Now, yeah. Smoldering. I like when he smolders for me. Look, set aside your differences. Get on the fucking palette tone. I want you to be on it. You want to be on with let be honest

You want to be on with small as an ad I have no future in it. I would not improve I hope let me crashes his peloton into the median. Mitter ADC for smolder ad mostly I also got a league account, which is my own that I leveled up To play with you. I saw you on it. Yeah, now I'm playing a little bit. I got a lot of MOBA experience. I will not lie to you. What? I'm down to play with you.

Yeah. If I find that... Oh, there's conditions. Okay. You are having a tougher time learning the game. Dude, come on. And don't have the ample time to improve, Having a tougher time learning the game. Dude, come on. And don't have the ample time to improve,

which you very much could do. What? Can you can you not use so many words, that damn seven dollar word? If you're fucking ass, I'm not playing with you. If I'm ass, you're not playing with me? If you're ass, I'm not playing with you. Wait, you play with me? OK, sounds good.

I'll carry you. And I'm not saying you're going to be ass. Bro, I have thousands of hours in Dota. I know. Which is a harder game. I'm hearing it. I'm hearing the words. I'll carry you. I'm not saying you're gonna be asked. Bro, I have thousands of hours in Dota. I know. Which is a harder game. I'm hearing it. I'm hearing the words. I'll carry you, man. You know, I don't know how relevant it is though.

It's it applies. It just means I'll bitch a lot more about like, oh in Dota, it's like this until I get that out of my system. Dota players do do that when they play League. I'm in the season. Huh? This is the season I have to hit plat. I'm bronze.

I'm high rank. You're bronze? Yeah, bronze one. Oh, well in big man. You're puns one bronze one That's where it placed me. Yeah with his it placed you there. Yeah with his properly leveled account with my hand You have to understand you have a higher MMR than me. That's fine by a whole rank. That's great. That's bad It's not no it's gonna get there. No, he did. What the fuck do you mean? He played to get there. So it's representative skill and experience. So it should be fine to do it.

You try to apply that I didn't do it myself. He's a whole ass rank. So if you're freaking out about bronze being harder than iron, I don't know what there's going to be silvers in the game. The ranks are in the part of the eye chart that I can't read. Yeah, I think it's a L. Also, wouldn't it be flex? No, no, no. It's so it's fine.

Yeah, I play I play Lux bot lane. I just learned about our our's good. Our's pretty good. Our's fucking cute. You first. You do want to cue. They get rooted. The way Josh will talk about you playing League Ludwig It's like it's like he's recounting some horrible story from his youth. He's like, dude, it's just like

Unplayable to watch him. It's like he really doesn't think you have what it takes. I do on the other hand do I do I've been doing so much of odd of you on the flight. I watched like fucking 17 hours of odds Okay, sweetheart. And you know what? One of the guys that I liked watching, he, and like I watched a whole video at the very end, he like opens up his Chrome tab and it's just Andrew Tate. Yeah, no, that's the secret sauce. I'm like, I'm like, oh, this is my guy. You have to dive in, man.

And all the recommended videos were Andrew Tate. Something needs to be sacrificed, man. And all recommended games were entertain. Something needs to be sacrificed. Sancho will coach you. Sanchovis. Sanchovis? I'll coach you. I have. How do you know Sanchovis? He's really, really good friends with Alex.

Is he? He coached me in my first game. He was the one coaching him. We got in call with him and he was like, this is what I want you to do. He coached me through all my choices. I do need a coach. I'll be your coach, man. I got to be Cajerl and Alois

Cajerl Cajerl. I think dude is that a league character or a streamer? You don't need to be paying that much For a fucking. I already paid for it. Oh my god. Here we go. Let's get a drugged Fox training. Hand out cancel. Alright That was the Yard podcast. Thanks for listening. We're going to be on the secret episode, which is happening. It's five dollars. Super secret episode. It comes up now. We're shooting it tomorrow. No, it's the normal secret episode. Normal. Normal. The five dollar one that I can buy.

It's the normal secret episode. You can buy it. Rainbow will be on it again for me to interrupt him a lot. One lucky patron will be Ludwig's new static duo. We're going to oil up Connor. And he's never going to get the oil out. It's going to always be kind of sticky. He'll always be kind of sticky.

He'll always be slippery like the guy in X-Men 1. We're gonna kill ourselves if you don't go buy it. What the fuck? We're gonna do it. We're gonna destroy the vial. Alright kid Cuddy. Alright see you on the bus. Oh my god.