The Yard - Ep. 169 - We Watched The Biggest YouTube Show

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

This week, the boys talk about KSI's new viral song, the new feature length minecraft series, and how Aiden is on new treatment...

And now it's mic check one two. I'm a white rapper named blue. It's weird Yeah, well you're a white rapper named blue a white rapper named blue and I wear my shoes Face I only know one syllable rhymes. Yeah, and the album is called blues clues, but it's like clues But it's like the Illuminati pyramid on the cover and it's spelled K. L. O. Z. Yeah By the way, it's face fake. You got game 33 Dan I knew there's a three in that bitch you did you're you really? The e double the e double roster there. Uh-huh. He died. Yeah, we had this conversation and you're doing the fucking thing No, what about face? It really? Yeah, we talked about it. He said e double and then he said he died

Oh, I said you Rob died and they instantly both said yeah, I was in the health I was in the healthcare zone. Don't tell us what you're doing to soften it I was saving lives. I think the only thing I would like respect you for is if you said I was looking at porn Mmm Cancer that's where I was Cancer that's horrible. Yeah, up with. Tim has cancer? Tim? Cancer. That's horrible. Why are you laughing so maniacally?

And you're trying to get over that. I got over that so fast. Who got over what? I'm back now. I just had for like a second. Yeah, you just haven't really talked to Tim and realized. Not enough. Yeah, I realized I'm not enough.

Stads do. Stads do. It's going around. Stads got cancer? Yep. It's going around. Stads got cancer. Yep. That's so terrible. You saw him make that layup last night? He's amputated now.

All those damn TikToks he's watching, man. The 5G's in his brain. Do you think there are people who genuinely think they're saving lives if they're signing people up for insurance? Absolutely. Because I genuinely think that. You genuinely think you're a doctor.

I genuinely think I'm the difference between life and death for our employees. For Tim. Yeah, for Tim. Even though he might not make it. Tim, I will- Wait, if you have insurance in America- I'll be administering Tim's chemo in the coming- That's crazy.

Which is just plugging all the air conditioning vents and putting them in a room here. Just like, yeah, just like. Alright, it's gonna get crazy. No, it's a new, it's a new therapy. And he's sitting on a stool just shivering indoors and it's like you're like, I hope it works. Well, you make it cold enough, the germs die. They can't live without the, well no it's the opposite right?

Mmm. Which one is it? Oh, I can't... Do they die faster from cold or hot? Like the stove kills them and the fridge kills them. No no no. Both can put them down. Both can put them down but guess what motherfuckers, here's science hour.

I watched a video about viruses the other day. And I don't know the actual truth. But what I do know is that why we refrigerate food is that it slows down the bacteria growth. Stop sleeping. If we also instead of having fridges had ovens that were 250 degrees. I'm going to blow your mind. Guess why we cook food?

No. Guess why you cook to me Why you cook the meat? We all knew that right? Well, none of us doesn't eat cooked food here. So I would believe that person doesn't know. Factors cold meals are cooked. They are cooked, yeah dumbass. They've been cooked.

We're not eating raw chicken friends. We're not sending out raw meats. They're just MREs. The food was cooked in the 50s. Yeah. Low key. I think you would love to eat MREs every day. You've eaten them. I know. Aren't they gross?

You hated it, didn't you? Oh, really? There were what? I thought I remember. I remember. OK. Lunchly MREs. And we send children into war, but they have. And they've got primary. They're so happy to fight for us

they got Feastables and what's the kid's name? not baby Grog, who's the guy with the big chungus? the Rizler? the Rizler is the general? he's too young to be a general he's not in the child army, he's the perfect age he has no experience

but he can get into so many crawl spaces take one scoopier Dunkaroo and get back out there No, he's not in the child army. He's the perfect age. He has no experience. But he can get into so many. Oh, yeah, we throw him into so many crawl spaces. Take one scoopier Dunkaroo and get back out there. We do the we do the old the old walk with a big stick. We put him on a big ass boat and we fly. We just have him swim by Taiwan. Send it. We send him around.

Send the kids. You want to send the kids. You want to send the Rizler swimming by Taiwan as a security threat? Just to be clear. I don't want to swim by like swim No, he's physically swimming I'm no I get you it's he's physically swimming. Yeah, okay He has he swims with one arm. No, he's on the Chinese flag in the other The Chinese flag in the other. No, it's the Chinese flag. He's American.

No, the Chinese flag. He's on a giant naval ship. They will be reunited with the mainland. He's on a giant naval ship called the USS Boom. Dude, it's sister ships, the boom and the doom. And they're blaring out, we got the boom. And we're just holding guns. I love that. Yes.

OK, we populated an aircraft carrier, spot lunchly painted on the side. Okay. And it's all kids. The Rizler is he is not a general. He is this. This is like Admiral. This is like a Lord of the Flies, Lord of the Flies aircraft carrier led by the the Rizler.

It's not even close to Lord of the Flies because there is military hierarchy in rank. He is a he is a war Admiral. They are all kids. 100%. Okay, so what else? We have the lunch league. We have to use it. They kind of establish ranks in the Lord of the Flies.

They kind of get like a... They have a hierarchy. Yeah, they don't really have like staff serge, serge, you know, really dear. You think the problem in the Lord of the Flies is there's not enough ranks. His titles. They can distribute the roles. Because then you wouldn't disrespect your staff serge.

Because you know the serge might come down. When you're a G5 paygrade, you want to get to G6. And that's like the system that keeps you going. The system keeps you going. It's like parkour civilization. All right. Dude, I never, I didn't watch it. I turned it on.

I got 10 seconds in and I said, this is a later food. I don't want this right now. I watched the first 45 minutes of Barcore Civilization. So you know, they only get one meal a day. They get one meal a day, and they make it count. It's fucking, it's fucking hate. Boys, are we late to this bit? Yes, we're a week, it's not a bit. I like it to be clear this came out nine months ago

No, I know the video came out, but the bit has been a little bit recent on Twitter the cultural site guys Here's the thing. I wash it. Is this like a fucking feature-length Minecraft movie? I guess this isn't like you're you're talking about it like this is the fucking Creeper oh man song and everyone's like, you know, when that was popular again. What the hell are you talking about? It's not. What the fuck did you just say? I don't know what you said.

You don't know what that is? No, what the hell is it? You guys know what he's talking about? I don't know what Minecraft is like, guys. The creeper, you don't know what song? I just think it's a Minecraft parody song. That's all I know. Look up creeper aw man song, it'll come up.

Is this the same as DJ Gunn has fallen in love again, Minecraft parody? It's from the same as DJ gonna fall in love again Minecraft already It's from the same guy. Yeah, really yeah, actually Is that it? That's a tastemaker. He tame a doggy with bones. I think it is actually that one that is a girl No way. Yes. Yeah. Yeah revenge. So fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just give me oh We don't have YouTube premium this is so sugary and I'm not complaining pause What what was that ad for? Well, no, it's gone prop 33. Oh, yeah, I've been getting 33 ads

Today every single ad I see I have to do or buy but this isn't a buy ad We don't know. Oh my god, you have to vote. Dude, I get a Donald Trump ad. Dude, that's crazy. You have to vote for Donald Trump. It's a yes on 33 ad. I watched it eight times last night. Yes on prop 33. What are you watching ads for?

You should look into the issue. My beautiful dame will settle there. Doesn't have YouTube premium in the bedroom. She's such a dumbass for bedroom. She's wait wait. He said you're a mess for that That's great. I'm kind of too primo damn true. That's weird. That's weird. They're long into the yard account Yeah, on their way play it play it play it we don't need to watch play five seconds This is not ringing any bells yet, well this is This is not ringing any bells? This is DJ Guy's phone.

This is Captain Sparkles. That's it. That's it. That's it. He just says creeper all the time. Obsidian! I've been watching, I've been watching, I'll explain this in a bit, but I've been watching Slop for the young people on TikTok. Young Slop. And on YouTube. I've been watching Young Slop for the young people on Tick-tock young slop and on and on YouTube. I've been watching young slop. Okay, and presumably I hear that sentence I would I would this is

Parkour civilization is young so I've been watching young slop So it was refreshing to open I pay for young crack parkour civilization open and see that it's kind of fucking fire Yeah, typing in new bile slop into my tick-tock kind of fucking fire. Yeah. Typing in nubile slop into my TikTok search to make sure that it's populated. It's it's good slop. Diamond. I argue maybe it's not even slop.

Kids are funny, man. The kids are there. Dude, I was this is 25 million. 26. Your eyes are going. It kind of the only as far as I needed to understand the beef joke and got out, which is the first 30 seconds. Yeah, but no, what you really need to know is when he discovers parkour masters, but whatever.

Oh, whatever. It's just whatever. It's pretty huge. What he gets is a parkour. Subdegas. Cool. No, I got it. Yeah, you played World at War. That's probably the best caught, I guess. The invisible block was real. He found the invisible block. Bro, there's invisible blocks. This got popular on TikTok. Speaking of TikTok, we were in our book club that you're not in.

You're not. We didn't invite you. Yeah, we weren't invited. I got invited. No, because we we literally got invited. We said one day weeks from now, you're going to wear a sweater. What used to identify the gender of a baby is a boy. So what about this shirt? What do you think of that? Wait, is that off-white?

Or is it blue? It's just a different shade of baby blue. That's crazy, man. Damn, okay, okay. Merch idea. But I don't get it. Merch idea? I don't get fashion.

For the right. Okay. For the right side of history. Right side of history. You sell baby blue and baby pink for adult clothing. Ohhhhh. Cause there's only damn two of them. Cause you never let everyone know you're a boy and a girl. Fuck dude.

Want a different color? How about you kill yourself. Well yeah you fucking kill yourself. We make clothes, it has the bathroom sign on it too. Like the guy. It's just the big bathroom signs. There's blue and then pink. My friend Joey, all through high school, he had this big green shirt that just said,

game over. And it's the bathroom man, but in with a bathroom woman and he's married to imply that marriage is like the end of your life. It's it's over now. Bro was wearing I hate my wife shit as a high schooler. That's cool. He's just waiting for his wife to hate. You get it. It's like how Europeans start drinking early.

You can get it out of the way. But they're actually drinking. Yeah, he's not close to a wife. He's actually hating this fake wife. But brought up on the book club, Maya said that you were on her TikTok for you page, which is funny because you were on my TikTok for you page. From that shit that he messed up that he looked like a big dumbass?

From the solo pod episode where he cries woefully. What the fuck, really? Yeah, it was leaked, but with like a very sad song. And it's just Aiden being like, I hope we're friends forever. And it's just a sad song playing. And then it plays like the Chad dubstep music and it's like zooming into him like.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it cuts into my jawline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dude, I want to give the Rizzler an RPG and I want him to have a free guy he can use it on. I want to put him to work. I want to see what he can do on the field of fucking war.

Yeah, dude. We send the Rizzler, the Rizzler is on, he's being groomed right now, and I use that term politically. Wow. People, you know it's messed up, that word got called. We need to take a, we're back. Yeah. Yeah, we should. You watched The Wire when Daniels was being groomed for commissioner?

No, we shouldn't fight. We should fight to keep this. We should fight. No, he's being groomed. Daniels is getting groomed. The Rizler is being groomed to become an American ambassador to other countries. We send the Rizler to Ukraine. And my girlfriend.

To the Donbass region. And he stands there and he says, no more Putin. Here in the Donbass region, we only get one meal a day. That's so sad. Donbass region, we only get one meal a day. The trench warfare explaining just fucking wartime with that guy's voice. Dude, I watch melee on stream and I by now it's a verbal tick how I say lunchly play of the game every single game. Dude, a lot of weeks on your verbal tick shit right now.

No I'm not. You always have been. You are. You're spouting off KSI lyrics. Did you win basketball last night? From the screen to the bed. From the screen to the bed. the ring. From the screen to the pen. You guys don't even know it.

You were like, we're at TFC. Yeah, we are. From the screen to the pen to the ring. I'm the king, dude. I fucking love that guy. He kept saying it, basketball last night. I haven't even heard this song. It is so bad, but there's one five second part

that hits like a jerk off. That's all you need. You only need the TikTok. You really only do these days. You know what I mean? But I was playing League and I was just, Tim would play cause he has audio control now. Every time I got to play, he would play it. And by a play, I mean a kill or an assist or a dragon.

And Tim actually can't have cancer. This whole thing will crumble. It will. Yeah. No, I don't think I can go back to not having Tim for sure, but Anyway, the result was the whole stream got fucking taken down. Fucking KSI. Who now is your best fucking friend? Go do fucking Sidemen and fucking Grower.

I started watching KSI videos. I should say I watched one. Now? And now? Yeah, now. Now after the Lunchly stuff, everyone's like, Damn, I'm mad at KSI for freaking Lunchly. And the song is bad also. And what he said to Dan, and then Salim's like, I'm going to watch it.

Did you go back and watch like an old KSI Facebook video or something? I had a very like forward moment. You know, I started watching, I started looking at his YouTube after this. I listened to the song. I think I'm like one guy. Dude, I know you from your music. Your YouTube channels fire. I think that like you should do more YouTube for sure.

More YouTube because I was like, you know what? I hear about this guy for some reason every week. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck he does. I have no idea. And today I'm going to learn. So I watched him react to TikTok. Okay, and I was like, did you laugh? No. OK.

You said you're looking to discover. No, not unexpected to as well. I was like, maybe I wasn't trying to laugh. I wasn't trying to be a hater. Was he trying not to laugh too? Are you playing along? Yeah, that was part of the fun. You got to keep it going.

And I was like, you know what, I get it. But it was just so interesting because he's like, he's part of this like upper echelon of YouTube. Actually explain KSI. I don't know. I would love to hear. What group is he in? Dude, he's associated with Prime. Logan Paul.

Uh-huh. Lunchly play the game. Yeah. That has association with MrBeast. There's damn Faceable in that hat and fucking damn as long as who is he? He's a guy before this before this. But I had no fucking idea. Isn't that crazy? Like, yeah, that's why I think because he used to be very liked.

OK, he's been a creator for like 15 years. He's still liked by many people, to be clear. But he was he's like a part of a group called Sidemen British group. That's the soccer thing. Mm hmm. I kind of they've done it. They did the soccer. They've done.

That's how I interpret the world. I understand what you're saying. He was doing is but you know, there was life before. He's the biggest member inside men. He went from the screen to the ring. And the side. I opened some packs on FIFA. They're also the most popular

channel in the UK. They're fucking. Hasn't he's been a YouTuber for like 15 years. Like a long time. It was you in Call of Duty stuff or FIFA. What was the first thing gaming? Yeah. Why fired up one of those videos? And I was like, oh, he's British.

I didn't know. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I get you. So actually, he went from the screen to the ring and then he's been writing on the pen That's what I heard dude Everything he tells you he's kind of the king so it's like But don't forget the bling I can't believe he used the word bling in a song in current year Nah, it's kind of coming back though

Yeah, I actually think we're at a point now where it's hard to write bad rap music Like you can I think it's easier to write good music You think he threaded the needle on his arm So yeah, I think if he did that it's good, it's easier to write good music. You think you threaded the needle on this one? So yeah, if you did that, it's good, it's impressive. That's kind of cool. To say blame. Being able to write it poorly is, I should commend it. It's like starving in America when we have fucking McDoubles.

Okay. Like you can get it together. You could have just gotten a McDouble. There's a lot of, you know. Will you watch more KSI videos? I don't think so. No. Because you know what I went and turned on there's I think it's like game master 3000 She does like in she's like no hit Mega Man runs and she and it's

Explains to you how to beat Mega Man 4 without getting hit. They're good videos. Okay, and I'm like, you know what? This is more my speed Goodbye, KSI. I'll see you on the doom. The SS doom carrier. I mean, you are also deployed to defend our beautiful country with the Rizzo. I was deployed to defend the United States. He'll join the United States of America. That's why Aiden, because the UK will actually lose all their power.

I just I can't. I forgot he wasn't American. Well, they're losing for just now. They're losing their institutions, Ludwig. Yeah, it's their vacation. Their vacation businesses. Mm hmm. The migrants and whatnot. Do you think we as podcasters are obligated to solve the migrant crisis? Yeah, but not the American one, the UK one. OK. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a little too political for the US. OK, so next. Yeah. Season three of the art is actually going to be us podcasting on a on a raft in the Mediterranean. Oh, God. And we're going to be pulling people out of the water and saving them. There's this very political podcast was called Fucking B.R.M.

No, no, no, no. Pod Save America. Pod Save America. Yeah. And they got that. Who's the main dude? John Lovitz. Don't know. John Lovitz. It's not John Lovitz. Don't know. John Lovitz. It's not John Lovitz. It is. From The Wedding Singer. John Lovitz.

Okay, different guy. Close though. John Lovitz is like former speechwriter for Obama, who's on this Pots of America, very political pod. Yeah, it sounds like hardcore, millennial core. It is as millennial, global millennial core as you can get. But I recognize. In this house, science is real.

I recognize a weakness of liberals. Because he went on Survivor, got last place. What does that mean? He got deadstone? He's the first one voted off the island. So I never watched Survivor. That means you're the most useless guy. It means your team is the weakest team because they lost the team challenge.

And you are the weakest person on your team or the least liked or something. OK. And so he got kicked out early days. I think the reason is because he rocks up and he goes, I'm a podcaster. Yeah. Weak, weak, weak thing to say. Weak sperm, weak genetics. You put John Lovitz over it. No, what the heck?

Famous actor, comedy actor, John Lovitz from, uh, yeah, that's a great guy. Successful podcaster. I can't remember a single one right now. Yeah, me neither. He was in a show called The Critic, which was like The Simpsons, but someone say funnier. Yeah, I think that if we went on Survivor, I definitely would conceal who I was. Well, it might be hard because I'm doing a Hank Green show this week.

Yeah. He takes me back. He says, I'm on a plane. The flight attendant says, are you from the yard? No fucking way. That's what I said, because that's Hank Green. I watched a Hank Green video last night. Dude, that's awesome We own him. That's we run Hank Green. This is like the flood attendant is like what slime does to KSI but to Hank Green Yeah, I started watching Hank Green from the yard that I found out he's a youtuber. He's just done. He's just done So much so much good. Yeah, I feel bad that that interaction happened if anyone knows him from the yard I think you owe him to do a bit of research it's

a heat episode I'm not watching more it's one of our best words watch more yard yeah more can't green watch more yard okay okay more like Hank yeah I can't fucking respond to me did he said he said like the nicest message about the show ever. That was so sweet. That was the sweetest message. It made me feel so affirmed. Wait, what do you send? The fuck? You posted it.

You shared it with us. Fucking hey, you. I have a short memory because of all the fucking ayahuasca. The cancer, the DM, the DM, the DM that the DM that he sent you after he came on the show, where he talked about how he thought it was really nice that we provide this like a space, kind of a boys will be boys sort of space.

I'm describing it poorly. It's so hard to say what he said. No, it's like a very light statement. It's hard to say what he said. No, he basically said that he wanted space for mainly men, and it's like, very light sentence. It's kind of a positive one. He said he wanted space for mainly men, and it's like, you know, typically antagonistic towards women. And it's like a good place for cunts. Cause they're sluts!

And Green Green said that. He said, he's like, it's a bit antagonistic, and then he stopped himself when you write, and you say, scratch that, writing this out. And then he was very antagonistic. Yeah. He complimented us on a space that was like at writing this out. It was very antagonistic. He complimented us on a space that was like a positive space for masculinity and male friendship without being toxic in this area of social media.

And hearing that from him specifically is something that I think will stick with me for a very long time and meant a lot to me. And it's crazy because it's a DM to you that you screenshotted that you shared with us and said was a really nice message and you don't remember it. That'll stick with me for lot to me. It's crazy because it's a DM to you that you screenshotted that you shared with us and said it was a really nice message and you don't remember it. That'll stick with me for years to come. I can't believe that you go on a show and forget that. It's also capped what he said because blood cries on this shit three times a damn fucking month.

No, it's not crying three times a day a month. A few times a day a month. I need some Daint Green. Been two times. I have another podcast that I want to show you guys. Bracelo for two. Dane Green. That's two points on the board. I'll give that to you.

I want Zipper. Can you please pull up what I sent you on TikTok? You search it on TikTok. Go to TikTok first. And my lunch had a vibrating egg inside of it. We can watch like any... You can pick like any clip that has a vibrating egg inside of it. Just watch, we can watch like any- Did you eat it? You can pick like any clip that has a lot of views on TikTok.

I'm so sorry for the vibrating eggs that got sent out. Oh my God, the two projects we're working on were combined. What a chance. This is a disaster. What are we looking at? Just click on anything that has a lot of views. Click on anything. I, I, yeah.

Relatively a lot of views. I'm saying that. Harper has a crush of views click on anything I yeah relatively a lot of views no fucking way okay this this no no shut up I want to know what happens Cuz she's a crush on Maverick The happy face with bananas Who's Maverick? Lost the beginning of the lore. Isn't that the name of Logan Paul's kid? Maverick's the guy that feeds them once a day Dude what the hell is this? OK, I want to know more. I would like to know more.

I have an initial question for you guys. How old do you think the people on this podcast are? They're in high school. 25, 22. You're asking because it's a surprising answer. Twenty, twenty four. It's I'm going to go college aged. OK, high school. OK, what if I you're all kind of right?

OK. And that's what makes it weird. This podcast is gigantic. They have so many views on Tiktok. Their YouTube channel mocks us. OK. It's insane how big they are. The girl who has a crush on Maverick is. What was that? Zipper getting excited. The girl who has a crush on Maverick is... What was that? Zipper getting excited.

The girl who has a crush on Maverick is 15. OK. But the other people on the podcast are 22. It's three 22. It's like two 22 year olds and a 21 year old and a 15 year old. This... Oh, I don't like... And they do the podcast together. I don't like and they do the podcast together.

I don't I don't like that the set is clearly not a real house. It's like in a warehouse somewhere. Dude, they're doing hot chip challenge. Shut up. I'm fucking watching my head. And then two of the 22 year olds are married to each other. Well, what? Dude, it's it. I don't know how they got here, but it's a little I was like, this is

because I got shown the clip And I was like oh, this is this is cool in a way I was like all these kids in high school made it big right like it must be cool to be like 15 and just get to talk about 15 year old shit and have a massive following on your podcast You're so good faith You're very good person because I would see that and think this is fucked up. They don't deserve this. I went through a bunch of their content and I was like, this is this is a little

I would say brain rotty, but, you know, compared to Minecraft, Parkour civilization, which is an exercise in the mind. And but then I found out that it's only one of them who's 15 because they talk about what she does at high school all the time. And then the other ones are, they're adults who are married to each other. Do they like own her?

That's what I don't know what the dynamic is. They must be related, it must be like a sister, right? No. It's not a random 15 year old. They're all religious. They're all like Christians. I don't know what that, how that plays in it. Wednesday night, youth night.

Yeah. They're all brothers and sisters under God's roof. Seekers and sneakers. Apparently the Harper, the, the 15 year old girl is like the most popular member of the show and her, she's like 10 million followers on tech talks. Dude, she's massive. And Maverick doesn't like her back. And they, our podcast. They destroy us.

They mug Ludwig. They mug. They kind of mug Ludwig. Don't throw me under the bus here. I'm just saying, like if we're talking about scale. Because they're a podcast, I don't really compete with them. It's like a not it's a non-compete. That's it's a non-compete. Vogue mail is a podcast.

Vogue mail is not a podcast. Yeah, it's the daily. It's a news station. It's the daily for aging zoomers. Anyway, we're open up applications. Any high schoolers who want to join the yard. So we need a high schooler. You must love God. You must love God. You must have a crush currently.

Yeah, I was going to say you gotta have a crush. On someone whose name didn't exist 10 years ago. On some, no, on somebody's like a crush on Goose or somebody else on Top Gun. OK, that's crazy. So how did this all make you feel? It at first it made me OK. At first it made me happy because I was like, I thought it was four high schoolers who just like made it big.

And I think that would be the coolest thing at high school. If you and your four year friends just somehow did this. Sure. The age discrepancy made me made it less cool. It gave you pause. It made me I was like, this is strange now because you why are you as a 22 year old hanging out with a 15 year old all day? It's got to be industry planted. And then what are the 15 year old?

And then I started scrolling through more of the content. And and I mean this genuinely. I was like, this is slop. Like I think it is possible for Gen Alpha and I get it. I get it. I also make the slop. I understand that. I make the slop. I look at Eclipse. Sometimes I think it's slop. Slop. Oh, I'm in the slop factory.

I get it. But I watched Parkourour civilization and I was riveted for 45 minutes I was and I was like, oh my god, it's a two-hour video. It's 45 minutes 45 back to it. Did you go finish parkour? All I'm saying is I think Parkour Civilization was kind of sick because I was like, oh my God. Like for all the criticism that adults give of like Gen Z, Gen Alpha content and what kids are watching, I was like,

dude, I think if I had a kid and they were watching this, like I watched Saturday morning cartoons, I would be like, this is like pretty great. But I was like, I don't know if I want them watching like five second clips. You're too young to be this much of a boomer. What do you mean? You know, no, these 13 year olds can't watch this podcast. I just said that fucking the kids are making good shit.

No, but they're also making like a horrible, horrible, evil slop. Yes. There's levels of slop. There's shit we do. And then there's Mavericks. Well, ironically, I think that was kind of compelling. That's kind of slop. There's shit we do. And then there's Mavericks. Well, ironically, I think that was kind of compelling. That's kind of like, that's it. I would turn that shit off if my kid was watching it. No, really? Yeah. This is one that tilted me. One tilt. They have one where the kid, one of the, he's not a kid actually. It's one of the adults.

Gets up on a table and says, and he says, I'm going to do backflip off the table and the whole TikTok is him saying I'm gonna do it and then them being like I do it and then he just doesn't do it and then that's the TikTok You gotta watch for part 2 Zippor, Zippor can you pull up the YouTube homepage? Damn

Just fuck it, just all of it Just a straight up homepage Just see what you got going See what the recommendations are I love when he gives a cold read of a home Scroll down, scroll down to the left. No, no, no, no, I want that left bar.

I want that left bar. Go to a live. Live? Yeah, yeah. Now scroll down to like live, like actual live, and then hit the view more. Okay. What are we looking at? Okay, go to games, go to gaming, go to gaming, go to gaming.

We can save this, we can save this, it's for me and you. We can save this. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, click that, yeah, yeah click that yeah, yeah click that click that yeah, yeah, yeah click that top live game Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. What are you trying to? Chill chill chill the fuck out all right let him cook. I'm gonna snow click on GTA 5 What a good chill you I this scroll in? It's cool This changed my life forever on how I view YouTube creators

Okay, because if you want to talk about slop for the piggies You can click fucking making more sloppy slot. You can click any any of those Motorcycle one. I like motor. So god damn it. Uh, you have to watch this. Okay You have to support a women's and children's crisis shelter. Oh, hold up. I gotta write this down. Yes on a Women's what's wrong with this playing Minecraft children's? Crisis this change your fucking life um This is an eight zipper the motorcycle he clicked on it. It's not on it. I'm on the motorcycle. Oh Wait right

What okay? Wait? This is actually also fine fuck never mind. What are you? There's just a bunch of live streams on YouTube that is just videos repeating for children. Whoa. That- it's like- it's like sensory videos. Okay. Why live? Uh, cause they get more ad revenue cause they can just repeat the videos forever and the kids will just keep it on forever until they die forever. Oh my god.

The ads play again on second watch. They just they just it's just a live show. That's more villainous. Oh, right. Just keeps going. Also, also for what it's worth. I think if they all were in high school, if they were all like 15 or 16, I don't think that's slop. I just think they're just kids doing kids.

You're just doing kids hit. But I think as soon as you're married and you're 22 and you're making a podcast with a 15 year old, I got to cause. Why can't a freaking 22 year old be a freaking kid? Is it a slop? I think I should be a kid at 28, personally. But why is it slop if there's an adult that runs the whole thing? I was going to say, I think as an adult.

But the content's not different. No, because it still is different, even with that lens. Like if you watch something and then you learn that an adult orchestrated this thing, it makes it different, even if it's identical. I can't does not care about that. I think exactly. I think that's why I'm in the camp. I feel like I maybe I'm foolishly applying like a layer of innocence to like if a kid makes it, it's like you're a kid having fun.

15 year olds aren't setting up fucking flats in a warehouse. There's a room. But as soon as you're but as soon as you're a kid having fun. These 15 year olds aren't setting up fucking flats in a warehouse. There's an adult in the room. But as soon as you're a 22 year old crafting content in a certain way, you have the autonomy to make a good or not. Everybody is called Top or Slop. I'm going to give you some. You tell me if it's Top, Peak or Slop. And one person on the show is 15, but they will not play.

We cannot have a show called Topper Slop talking about 15. Yeah, this is bad. Can't do it. You got it. I'm sorry. Let's sit here. We're going to put a series of dotted lines before I go to my next paragraph.

And we're going to, OK, Topper Slop, new episode, Topper Slop. Oh, it's like eyeshadow, or grime shadow. I need a new name for it then. Yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah. How about a? Topper Slop's been canceled to all our viewers. We are so sorry. How Yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah. How about- Topper Slop's been canceled to all our viewers.

We are so sorry. How about- how about- It's Slop! Mostly. Boom or Doom? I like this. Boom or Doom? Okay, alright.

I Carly. I Carly? Is it- Boom is good. It's Boom. It was Boom. Whoa! Well, no, it's not.

It's Doom because of what that awful man did to those fucking poor kids. This is exactly why I brought it up, because it was made by an adult man who's also a creep. Does that make it different now? Uhhhh, yeah. No. No. It's different. So it's Boom-Doom? It's Boom because that show has actual writing and narrative content. I think that show's great. I'd say Boom.

But it's not made by kids. Do you think that all the crazy pictures of Dave Schneider. Jesus Christ. I don't like how he's next to the wall. He's just, he's just. Hey guys, I'm. He's like at an Apple store. Do you think?

I'm trying to leave when Aidan's trying to get his attention. That is. You told me to get my dogs out before he takes off. God damn, he's weird. Wait, do you think my point is that if it's made by adults, it's slop always? And if it's made by kids? No, this is just something slime brought up, so I said iCarly.

No, look. Welcome to Boomer Doom, guys. You guys can't freaking handle one curve ball. It's more, I was saying, my point I was trying to make is there's an obligation implied when an adult is making content containing kids or for kids and or both right and we extend this criticism to my new favorite youtuber KSI. I make content containing kids. Because he's he's he's making lunch lease and they're fopping primes in that shit and people are like why are you why are you interested in selling things to children?

Because there's this idea that like, well, they're, they're new. And that's the sloppiest slop in the mall. And I think we are more sensitive to that. And that is what Aiden is experiencing. So I was, and then when you get older, you experience that more. You're like, oh, this kind of grosses me out. These, this 22 year old owns this like slave 15 year old. It's like, okay, not a slave.

Not a slave. I don't think that's the case. Well, we want to know, we don't know. You jumped to a different conclusion. I say that because it's really funny to say that, but it also feels like a 15 year old answering to 22 year olds doing content doesn't feel right Maverick fucking text her back Maverick just respond Freaking effed up that you won't respond She's famous as hell

Yeah Maverick thinks he's hot shit if he's not talking to her Maverick must be bigger Maverick says own podcast? Oh dude Maverick talks Tom Cruise He's talking about how it needs to be an F-15 even though it's 2024. Does it make any sense? And he's also nervous about joining the wrestling team.

You're talking shit, Aiden. I feel like you'd name your fucking little dumbass kid Maverick. Oh my God. Hell no. That movie sucked. What would you name a kid? Torbjorn. Torbjorn.

What would I name my kid? I'd name my kid Nettia. My name backwards. Nice, dude. That kid? You would name your kid. I named my kid Nettie, am I named backwards? Nice dude. That's just, that's good. That's fucking beast. Nettie else. So conceited and beast.

What are you naming your kid? Ludwig. Junior. Not even junior? No. Well yeah, Nick right has that. Wait, Ludwig the third. Yeah.

Ludwig the third? Cause there's a Ludwig junior already in this. That'd be so funny. You gotta skip one, you gotta skip one, you gotta skip one, you gotta skip one. I have no disrespect to Ludwig Jr. I just can't look my kid in the eyes and then he'll be like Dad, why am I Ludwig the third? And then I go, well...

Well, it's cause Nick's Puff being Mad Guy that once got... When you were old enough I was gonna show you this video. It's a 45 minute combo video. Only vs Falco. This is your older brother. This is your older brother. He's dead now. Yeah. He's been gone for a long time. But maybe you can will him back.

Dude, yesterday I... So my neck's been hurting really bad. I've been like sleeping weird and I keep waking up with neck pain. And I was like, okay, I had some time. I'm like, I'm gonna go get a massage. Maybe that'll like fix it. And it's really hard in LA to book a massage the same day they're usually all booked up so I scrolled I scrolled the depths of Yelp until I found a place that would take it I found a place it was like probably 17 in not that low I

go no one there really speaks much English and And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna put it online. What do they speak? Uh, I don't know. Be honest to you. You don't know the language? Hm. Thai. Okay. Okay. I think.

Was Mudeng there? Okay. That's racist. We've shifted it to him. That's not racist. That's racist. Mudeng is Thai. That's racist.

Mudeng is a Thai pig. I think expecting him to be there is racist. Passport check. It's a her. Mudeng is a woman me. I think expecting him to be there is a her. Moudang is a woman. Sexist, racist. And she's trying to explain something to me, but she's not speaking English. So I don't know what she's saying. So I just say, yeah, yeah, sounds good.

And so I get great. We go to the back and I lay down. I feel like I was in a Friends episode. We lay down or I like how we I lay down and I woman comes in. I like I I was in a friends episode. We lay down, or I lay down, not we, I lay down, and a woman comes in, I hear her come in, and then all of a sudden she crawls up on top of the table, and then she gets on top of me with her knees and her elbows, and she's balancing on my ankles.

So she's like, I'm laying down on my stomach, and she is balanced just on my legs with her knees and her elbows. And she starts walking up my legs all the way to my upper back. Does this happen instantly? This is the first thing that happens. It's not crazy. It is excruciating pain. Yes. This is my first time massage. Yes.

This is literally what a time massage I Say you walked into McDonald's you like then they made the food but like they didn't even make it was ready before I Just people on people. So, yes, my first time getting time massage. Wow. That is the story. That's fun. And I'm an excruciating person. She's climbing all the fuck over you.

My favorite part of the story now is, plus, dangerously speaking, I don't know, Thai? Well, you nailed it. That's cool. I did nail it. And so, did she walk in with a pygmy hippo under her arm? Okay, that's good. Is that racist? Not everyone in Thailand has a pygmy hippo under her arm? Okay, this is right. Is that racist? Not everyone in Thailand has a pygmy hippo. Dude, Thai misogynists, did you like it?

They suck, kinda. Dude, it was awful. I was trying to explain. Really? He did cut him off. He was about to tell you that. It absolutely did not help with my neck pain. No.

At one point, well, I should have noticed, cause when I walked in, I noticed that there was bars on the ceiling. And I was like, oh, it's like the air conditioning. But it was actually to hold onto for her because she's gonna start walking soon. Dude. So she starts.

No way. She starts fucking like, crip walking on my back. Like she is like, like completely walking up and down my body. And I've gotten like a decent amount of massages in my life. And I was I've never really had to like tap out. And I was just like, I'm sorry.

Can you go a little softer? Dude, it was so painful. It was like this woman was like four foot two. And it was the most painful experience of my whole life. She just patted and said, no, you're shit. Basically, she's like 80 pounds. That's what I'm saying. It's like, Why so bad?

Dude. And so I endured about an hour. And I was like, okay, that was awful. I don't think I'll do that again. But also respect. I couldn't put in that much work. The thing about Tom Massages is like... So you have one? Oh yeah.

And you like that shit? No, I hate it. I hate all massages though. But it's like, oh yeah. And you like that shit? No, I hate it. I hate all massagers though, but it's kind of like, it's like smoking marijuana. Temporary really? And never do it the first time. Oh. Really? You need to do a few, yeah, you need to do it somewhat regularly.

You can kind of like get used to it and put on some fucking Frank Ocean and shit. Cause it breaks down some of your taut muscles and your knots. Did you do the rocks? Yeah. I like the rocks. They did the hot rocks.

I think I'm autistic guys Yeah I was just like, I like when they put the hot rock on me And they put the uh, really hot bag I don't know I never got hot bag It was really high hurt What's hot bag?

You know that sand bag right? Yeah I think it was that It was like a sand bag that was really really hot What the fuck is going on in these fucking places? Dude I felt like fucking Ross Keller I was like, OUCH! Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay! She goes harder while I clearly see Yupplin

Oh yeah, and I was like, can you go a little bit lighter? And she laughed Nice Get fucking- I think she spit on me Nah It's like when you ask, it's like, can you do not spicy? And they're like, ffff

Yeah Dude, do you do chicken nuggets here? Yeah Yeah, I did I mean, it's my fault We do not spicy and they're like... Yeah. Dude, do you do chicken nuggets here? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I mean, it's my fault. I did select the deep tissue massage. But, normally, that means, like, it's kind of like, you know, getting hot sauce at, like, McDonald's.

Right, right. It's like, yeah. Yeah, I'll get Diablo. Yeah, I'll get the hottest whatever. Maybe in, like, Iowa. What? The deep tissue Thai massage is probably, like, someone just just going like yep. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's pretty sick there It's Thai massage. It is some guy named fucking

What's up? I'm Cletus. Aiden. I've got I've got a goal. I want to make fall the tastiest season yet Give me I need it taste man. I want it tasty and the way I'm gonna do that and not only by using just farm fresh ingredients but also by using that fucking body we're gonna cut you up and eat you god damn boy you look good I make so many tasty things for you already you know why you look good Aiden cuz I looked inside our fridge at home you've got all these hello fresh subscription boxes

that you've been making food with. And maybe y'all are watching us at home and thinking, I can't cook. Well, not only can you cook, you can cook using Aiden's meat. Oh my God. Cause if you use our code, we will deliver you Aiden's meat. You get a cut. You get a slight, we've been putting dotted lines on them

like you do to a cow. And it's like- It tastes like veal and it makes you squeal. You can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free the yard applied across seven boxes for new subscribers only and it varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to HelloFresh.com slash free the yard. I'm gonna smoke you like Mood Dang. I'm gonna smoke you like a brisket.

Free the damn yard we've been gagged. By woke media, free us. And by America's number one meal kit. By buying our meal kits, you can free us. Don't make a crucifix pose. And now Aiden's gonna take off his pants. Woo! I think I have bruises all over my body. Wow.

It hurts so bad. You feel liberated now. No, I feel worse. I feel worse. That's funny. You paid for something that made you feel worse. The crazy part is I think they did a good job. You know what I mean? I think that's the point.

They did what people go there for. Yes. I didn't get a bad Thai massage. I think I got an awesome Thai massage. I just hate them. I'm learning. I need that sweet as shit That fucking deep tissue the chop chop. Yeah, just like I just like the vanilla of missionary type

Guess who likes vanilla ice cream classic for a reason. That's what I'm talking about fucking creamers, bro Yeah, you're the biggest creamer. I damn ever man I don't song keep saying a big creamer ice cream fucking eight times a week. You're the biggest creamer I've ever met. I don't. So I keep saying I'm a big creamer. I eat ice cream fucking eight times a week. You are a big creamer. I go once maybe twice a week. Dude, it's end of any social activity is like cream time. And you've been creamy. That's the thing. Like you've creamed for years now. I wonder what's wrong with a little cream time. But now you're saying what's wrong with a little cream time right before that you said I cream so infrequently that's fucking not true fucking effort you cream the time fucking effort man every time I've hung out with you it's cream oh every time slime is hung out outside of the pot here we go the hundreds here we go it's always back to old stuff with

you freakin so many it doesn't happen happen. So you're standing here before me in the court of our friends and Jesus Christ in heaven, God above. Yeah. And you're saying I'm not a Kramer. I'm saying you're not a hanger outer. I'm not trying to fucking say that. I'm saying you cream all the time. Are you saying you don't?

You want me to hang out when you're trying to cream? I cream maybe once a week. Oh, bullshit. Once a week? I cream once a week. Oh, bullshit! Once a week? And honestly sometimes I go in and I just get samples and I leave. That's not fucking true. You know the people that are there! You know the people that are there!

You can't be the only one who creams. Did Dappy Wub say you're a real creamer? No, no, I know them. I'm not like a card holder. I know them because they recognize me one time and like I kind of Recognize them like I like it's a mutual thing. But like I know them cuz I walk by you know them because you're a regular Cream store do you know how do you understand how easy that is for me to make fun of you? You freaking idiot you have a punch card You freaking idiot You don't have a punch card? Because, and I'm narking now

You described this, and you're like I don't get the punch card because I feel like if I did That's game over It's embarrassing God, I want to say something I know about you that's embarrassing But you literally talk about figuring your asshole on this freaking podcast Yes, and you know what? You guys crucified me for it

Yeah, because you put a ga a cotton on your finger like a You two are just two different types of creamers He wasn't able to make himself cream that's a sample you could have mixed Yeah, you mean toffee nut yeah, you're not a regular creamer for sure Yeah, you're not a regular creamer for sure Crass podcast my mother listens to this podcast Oh, by the way, if you're listening and you didn't listen to patreon last I tried to prostate massage myself Listen on the patreon. Yes, it was. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was the main us. No, it's the page You didn't bring it in your brain got you crazy

My cream gets me fucking If you want to take your prostate, if you want an incentive to sign up for the patreon We have an hour-long episode where slime breaks down why he tried to touch his prostate for the first time I don't know why I break down how It was only a couple minutes, but I got messages from people They're like dude that might have been the funniest thing on the show You've ever said and I'm like myself with prostate simulation myth busted like the mini are saying this So you're a creamer. Yeah, I'm a failed creamer your fail creamer for sure I just wanted I just want to put it out there that you eat ice cream more You shouldn't look the way you do how much damn cream you got in Boston

It's like fucking great all the time. You got fucking, I still want to take a bite of this one day. You got hands. One day I'm going to take a bite of this damn turkey. I don't want you to do that. This looks like damn lunchable turkey. Oh no. Dude, that makes like a hundred thousand lunch lists.

I do feed the soldiers. I feed the fucking soldiers. More than a protein too. If we're in wartime, that's what I do. I give my body to Costco for the Boomer Doom guys to feed me. Can you bring up the Rizzler trying lunchly? Just put it on mute and we can watch it while we're talking. Did he try it? Yeah, he tried it.

Yeah, that's so lit. Yeah. And he was just like, yeah, this is gas. No way. Yeah, he loved it. You know the Costco dad, he's been trying for years. Like there's videos of him like 10 years ago when the little Costco guy is just a baby And he's like he's like making content and stuff. No way he had like a sports podcast He has it's it's like a it's called like podcasts for dudes and the intro is like this is podcast for dudes by dudes

Talking about all dudes things like freaking gambling and sports drinking beards for dudes That's what he used to do. Yeah, he had a bunch of failed ventures before going to Costco and saying we're Costco. Yes, I should turn this out. I'm not gonna watch it. Don't call a child overweight slime. What the fuck? Why not? Because so we should. So we shouldn't say that this is fucking this is bad. I feel like he shouldn't be wearing a shirt that says a reason.

That is so funny. That is definitely a Zinn package that says RVZ. Is that some Rizn? No, you're right Ludwig. We should just not say anything. Yes, I think adults should not bully children. Leave that to the other children. I'm saying it's bad to be fucking eating shit. Dude, if you like this, you can play this game in front of them. I think his dad should have been, you know, maybe instead of trying to make a social media career,

been going to like the grocery store. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you guys don't know. What? No what? The Rizzler is not related. No, yeah, I know that. There's another kid. There's a different kid. They got the big eyebrows.

It's very genetic. Are you saying if you play this in reverse, it's like he's spitting the lunch lily out? Don't take that from me. No, I was gonna say it's like you're fixing him. Aww. Take a whole bunch of candy Rizzlers. See, that's the thing. from me no it's gonna say it's like you're fixing him that's a child making fun of I don't like making fun of the kid I think we're not making fun of reprimanding the pair is Nick was just making fun of them you said we're not talking about the mechanics of the video this could be

anyone take the food oh you said fix him, I'm like you cook though. You try to defend him. They're like I the operative word there was fixed Yeah, I'm saying that's like it pedestalizing childhood obesity makes me feel weird. That's all With those empty Fucking deal with you Call me we're gonna set this shit. Oh that big baby was empty and they're Baby aspirin and they're shaped like a damn, not the Flintstones, what were the kids like? I don't know. Isn't it an injection? The Flintstone gummies. They're shaped like the kids from that podcast. It's a pill.

Look up what was that big pill. I'm pretty sure it's a pill. That was that big Flintstone gummies, along with your primes. It's a pill or a shot, isn't it? And it's got the most electrolytes ever. That's cool. So we solved it. Look, see, you got all huffy and then we solved childhood obesity immediately.

I didn't think you'd get there like that. Yay, baby zemp. Baby zemp. I want them all. I'm taking it. Fuck, prenatal zemp. Prenatal zemp? My baby's gonna come out five ounces. That was a while ago on social media, it was Baby Hercules and it was just a jacked five-year-old. Yeah, I know Baby Hercules,cules or he put aside working out. He doesn't like it anymore. He skateboards now.

Are you kidding me? We've talked about this on this. We love that. Hard to remember so many pods. Do you know that's why I don't get mad at Ludwig. All the men. So many. I was thinking about how this whole podcast, not podcast, this whole world we live in would be so different if we wasn't a YouTuber, but he was a rapper

Dude, oh my god. I don't think I could be a rapper like he had moved love it hits up me and you and he's like I'm coming to LA. I want to be a rapper And we're like, yeah, you like let's get a place together like we'll support you You can like yeah, it's fired from the vape company and he's like, I think I'm gonna do this rap shit I mean, there's a rap shit full-time little I think I think we're probably all still in the Inland Empire Yeah, I think we're probably all still in the Inland Empire. Yeah, for sure. You think I would stay your manager? You'd be my producer.

You'd be my, no, you'd definitely be my manager. In that timeline? You'd send me gigs, and then you'd talk me backstage after seven people show up, you'd be like, dude, it's gonna hit though. Oh, and you gotta figure it out as you go, like Atlanta. Dude, that was, you know that video, that old video of Nickelback playing a show in Spain,

and the lead singer gets a rock thrown at his head? No. What the hell, that's awesome. Can you look the sub-zipper? It's a very classic video, Nickelback rock head, Bane. Nickelback. He's like, you're all ready to hear some Nickelback tonight?

He's funny, he talks like he sings. He's got a very strong voice. And then someone hits him with a rock. Does he get mad? Yeah, he says, that's it, good night, and they walk off. That's beast. Yeah, that is beast. They probably beat the fuck out of that guy in the crowd.

I'll wait for Zippered to... Well, that's... Nickelback hit with Rocks. Look how old this is. I'll be... I appreciate that shit. This is a low res video. Are we gonna even see the Rocks? Yeah, this is old shit.

Alright. Yeah. No, no, no, this has not happened. Oh. Now? Yeah. It's Portugal sorry for the kids Even the option looks there is their

And then the driver flips him off. Yeah! Dude, dude, dude. Get your Chad carter! Dude, they didn't even want to do the show. Okay, so I read an interview that popped up later on and he talks about this. He's like, our manager signed us up. It's like a death metal show. And he was like, he's actually cool about it.

He's like, you know what? If I'm a death metal guy, I don't want to see Nickelback either. I'm not gonna fuck with you. And it was our manager's fault so we had a big talk with him about that. It's like, don't fucking sign us up for shit like that. Oh shit. And I was thinking, I would never do that to you. You would never get hit with a rock. No.

No. Dude, that's so crazy, you're reading this, you're like, no, no. That's the connection. That's the connection. That's the connection. Slime does this though, cause we went to an improv show.

Dude, I knew you were gonna say some shit. We went to Ben Schwartz. Oh my God. And it was, bro, if you've never seen Ben Schwartz live, he's coming near you, you gotta watch. It's very funny. And in it, they do maybe 30 minutes of cum jokes. Maybe 30 minutes? No, it wasn't even that. It was a good chunk of cum jokes. 30 minutes is, you're an insane person for fucking saying that. You effing insane person. Over the course of 30 minutes, they did about four to five cum jokes. Okay. And they were just talking about draining their balls of cum.

That's a lot less. And that if you drain your balls of cum, you will fly to heaven. Yeah. Because cum is what weighs you down. That's the only thing weighing you down. Yeah. Awesome bit. And then the moment we leave, we were all laughing, having a great time.

Yeah. Simon's like, they're just like us. We're the same. Because they just made cum jokes that's not why the reason why I said that thank you Kramer for bringing this up I would love to talk about this Kramer because the reason why I said that is because they hit a lot of notes we hit yeah what notes thing with the fucking cartoon. But he did it in such a beautiful way.

Talking about cum, talking about all these things. We hit so many thematic elements. They talk about rain balls too, and also cum. Not even to mention the Awuga part. But the crash shit wasn't even where we overlapped. I felt like, I was like, dude, we are the yard version of this. No, I'm just kidding. But I thought there were similarities and it inspired me. I was like, dude, we are the yard version of this. No, I'm kidding. But I thought there were similarities and it inspired me. I was like, that was really good.

One day we can be as funny as them. And that was what I was trying to say. So now it's wholesome and you're trying to bring him down. But you wanted to fucking you wanted to make it about. And then, you know, we did afterwards. Oh, where we go? Do you want to know? Do you want to know what was suggested to do after this?

What was after? Where did you go? We went to get ice cream! We became creamers that night! We became creamers and allowed to go! And I even was Irish today! I'm just a boy but I have cream as well! You got a double scoop. Oh

That's fucked up Give a shit. Yeah, I got double scoop cone because you know what bitch. I had this shit once every fucking to damn blue moon Yeah, last fucking time you got cream last time was with you No, I'm kidding. We were in line and we were looking at the menu and I'm like, oh cool. They got milkshake I'm gonna get an Oreo milkshake and I was like you think they have oat milk and everyone turns to me like what are you talking? I didn't do this. Oh my good Place and I was like, yeah, they do that and everyone's like and then cutie spit on me He spit right into his mouth from like five feet away

I like how Nick's past version of himself is so sober. I'm just like, yeah, they do that. Yeah, I was like, yeah. As opposed to the reality, which is Nick being like, what? Yeah, they do. You can get heavy oat milk on him. It's heavy oat milk. I didn't say that.

You said heavy oat milk. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, Christian said heavy oat milk. I said joke. And I said I laughed. You know what? We have a truth problem.

And then I showed him. I told the truth. know, we have a truth problem. And then I show I told the truth. Well, you know, because I don't know. We were there and I don't know. You represented yourself as someone was like, yeah, we should get someone to follow us. Maybe a 15 year old who's on the pod with us. Oh, and they are true keepers. Our truth and they love God.

That'd be so fucking Christian because they love God. That'd be so fucking Christian. Because they love God. They can't because God would punish them. And they can't record the pot on Wednesday nights because they're at youth group. I haven't won in this story yet. I mean, yes. So so I get through line and I'm like, I'll get an Oreo milkshake. And then the woman goes, what kind of milk do you want?

And I turn around at Cutie and she's just like, no way. Seething. You know what's fucked up is I didn't even know that happened. Really? I know I was ruthlessly making fun of you. And then I just forgot. And I was like, I was like, I'll take, oh, and she's really confused why I'm so happy about it.

And then cutie's like, I'll also take an Oreo milkshake, normal milk. And I'm like, don't think you're getting me. Don't think you're getting me by not also getting that. I'll have it normal milk. I guess I have to say that. I guess I have to say what kind of milk I want in liberal California. You do. You do. You say that jokingly.

That's how I feel every time the person asks me what milk I want my coffee there is a stump town in LA and written on the fucking board with all the drinks it says if you do not specify the milk you want we will give you oat milk by default that's no shit yes crazy and that's crazy this is the crazier part boys is I go there and I order and they say what kind of milk do you want you know I ask because they get too much shit. If there's a whole thing, the smoke, they remove it, they remove it. It's just a default milk like every other shop. It's hard.

It's like you put a message in the slack. It's like, all right, submit your expenses at the end of the week. You still got a message, people. You still got to be like, you got any expenses at the end of the week? It's just humans aren't good at those systems. This is a liberal California issue only. There's no university to go to Texas. And the donkeys in Hollis.

I love what you say. The donkeys in Hollis? My God, they don't have oat milk. They don't have oats. You get oat milk in Florida, they kill you. Yeah, they put a bullet in your head. They give you a reprogramming. Yeah. You gotta go to reeducation. It's privatized euthanasia. You ask for oat milk at a coffee shop, they shoot a bullet in your head. They give you a reprogramming. Yeah. Oh shit, you gotta go to reeducation?

It's privatized euthanasia. You ask for oat milk at a coffee shop, they shoot you in the fucking face. They blow your shit up smooth. One less! One less. So yeah, we hung out. Why didn't you go? You could've creamed, you could've watched Ben. I couldn't have come. Couldn't have come, dude. I got a text from Aidan.

I was on a do blade do blade eight 1130 p.m.. Or some shit just get come out man The night before I'm trying to rip lines at the job at 1130 is trying to fuck he says come on Let's fucking lines, bro. Don't blow up the spot. Thank you. Oh, this is yeah, this is on Friday This is the day before so we it was a Justice was playing at the Hollywood Bowl And they had an after party at like a warehouse that you could get tickets to and it was like a pretty small show and It was Justice busy P and flying Lotus

So it's only fuck I knew none of them off are you over three one for three you 3? You don't know Justice or Flying? I've heard Flying Lotus before. Not Justice? Not Justice? I thought you were talking about the main player. 2 for 3? 2 for 3? Okay. He's got great fucks. But it's an after party so they don't- it doesn't- none of it starts until pretty late. We get into the first set, Flying Lotus really good. Busy P comes out. Busy Pete. This is the guy I don't know. He's French, like Justice. Ahhhh. It's Busy Pete. This is the guy I don't know. He's French, like Justice. Ah, it's Busy Piss.

Busy Pete? Busy Piss. Busy Piss. I didn't know this. I had forgotten that this was supposed to happen, because it's so late. I'm not normally staying up this late. I'm tired. I also, I hit a joint for the first time in a very long time because Shake Drizzle gave it to me. Wow. And I'm drunk. I haven't been crossfaded in like five years.

And it's all because of Shake. I'm blaming it on Shake. And you know what? He's been playing League seven days a week. If they don't want it to get crossfaded, stop making cool words for stuff like this. And I'm kind of I'm basically falling asleep standing up. And Justice doesn't come on for like another hour. But then Busy P in his French accent, he stops the set.

He's like, Oh friend, Kid Cudi! Kid Cudi is here! What the fuck, Moses friends! It's like, everybody say hello to Kid Cudi! What? And then Kid Cudi comes out and performs two songs, and the whole venue like lights up, and he- Did he do Day and Night? Guess the song, guess the song. Who was he did Day and Night?

He did Day and night remix. It is only night. There was no day. And then Kid Cudi left. And I started falling asleep standing up again. And then I didn't even make it to Justice. I just left. How late is this? I left at 2.30 and Justice hadn't come on yet.

How late did Shakes did he say? Yeah they were out until like 5. Dude Shakes is a fucking mad dog about it He's a mad dog creams with it, too He's not a real creamer. No because he left he didn't cream with us He's a fake creamer and then I and then I went on a cute little double date so I can go with you guys But you were invited and you were all strung out. I was invited By show me and Aiden were doing

It told me this story, and I don't know how it went to how I got here. I don't we were doing Adolf Hitler okay getting his Nard war interview This painting of a dog is? I can't even do it all again, but I was laughing about it for a week. That sounds good. Your classmate, your classmate, Jonas from Austria, told us that you met Ava Braun when she was 13, right?

She was 13, she's your wife, Ava Braun. That wasn't my favorite, not to toot my own horn, but I said when we were hanging out at Disneyland when I was with Cutie, we were doing the Cars ride, and I was like, do you think there was a Cars Eva Braun? And then Cutie said, who's that? And I was like, this is just a good moment in history. I don't think I know who that is. It's Hitler's wife. Oh, I know this. I didn who that is. It's Hitler's wife. Oh, I know this.

I didn't know that. I, I, I've a I've a confession for you guys. You confess? I'm thinking about getting on a medicine. Ozempic. Ozempic. You need it. Yeah, Ozempic. I wanna see you- So I wither away. I wanna see you

with a sword and a fucking rusty shield in your hand. No, man. Guarding a door. You put it on up here. Oh, you saw the Reddit post, huh? I did. What?

And then I started looking and then you know what's funny is what really sealed the deal is unprompted because I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Before the post, unprompted Miles hit me with it at breakfast. We went out to go get breakfast. He's like, you know, it's been thinning a little, bud. He said it to you. Yeah. How about your hair?

Is it mine? Can you pull up the yard podcast subreddit? Can you pull up the yard? This is what I know. So hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So I, every time I think, every time I think about it, it's hard.

It's hard for me to look actually because I want to get to it when it's an actual problem And I have photos of my hair line over the years Let me look right now. I scroll down until there's a picture of a hairline has been in the same place for a really long It's not even a freaking problem Stop talking to him that way young man. Keep going. Hold on, you're- You don't know when you see it. You're faking the issue like I fucking don't. Like I'm not talking about fucking getting on the fin.

That shit looks fucking awesome. I'm telling you I'm getting on the fin and you're being a prick. Dude, it looks awesome. Anyway. Anyway. I'm- I'm explaining this to my lovely girlfriend. My lovely girlfriend on FaceTime. I'm talking to her on FaceTime,

and I'm looking through the old photos of my hairline that I've taken. And I'm trying to line it up on FaceTime on my laptop because I'm looking down like this. And I'm focused on my head and the old photos on my phone that I'm scrolling through. My girlfriend is screen sharing her phone for like a different reason,

and she starts to pull up funny pictures while I'm focused on my hairline and not looking. And Zipper, if you could pull up, if you could pull up the picture I sent you, and it's full, this is, I didn't know this was happening. I'm just looking at my hairline and she pulls this photo up. I hope it's fucking Peter Griffin's full. This is- I didn't know this was happening. I'm just looking at my hairline and she pulls this photo up. I hope it's fucking Peter Griffin's car. FaceTime time is such a fun thing.

And then- And the screen share time, it's such a fun little thing. Oh, zoom. What the fuck? Oh my god. Bro, what are you doing? Dude, next to each other they are so funny Oh my god

We can't show Martin this song though For audio listeners, there's me and the FaceTime preview at the top, above me. Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. From the side. It's him in the FaceTime preview shirtless in a fuck you pose, because he's checking his hairline, but his phone's blocking his hairline, so it looks like he's checking himself out. He's flexing his arms, his arms behind his head. And then the photo that he's FaceTiminging is him hunched over it looks what I imagine

Aliens think humans look like he's totally naked. There's your balls. Yes. That's his balls crowding Paleolithic he's yes You are gorgeous I look like a golem with my balls out. And he's packing his bags. And she took this picture? She took this photo. So you were, you were, are you packing her unpacking? He said it up.

I come like- Spend a day with me. I was changing. I was like, I was getting clothes out of my suitcase in the morning. After a trip or something. Yeah. And she loves you so much that you were hunched over looking like you were foraging for me. Do you sleep butt ass naked?

No, I came out of the shower. Your feet are so long. Your feet are long. Why aren't they heel-toe? You have tiny thighs though. I have so much to say about your fucking beautiful body. You know what? Your lats look good. Do you notice that? They do.

Your lats look good. Uh, yeah, thank you. That's round. Hashtag lats spread. Wow. I saw this in the juxtaposition. I was like, I know where I need to show this. Yeah. Yeah.

And the moral of the story is I'm going to get on. You're taking the fin. Yeah. You got to get on it too because you want to keep it. I don't know why, because you said medicine. I thought you were unironically consider going to Turkey. No. I thought that's what you meant. And I was like, this is crazy. I think it's unnecessary.

It's a little it's a little early for that. It is. It is. Because you see that Waleed got his. No, I thought he had a great hair. I was kind of confused by Waleed. He did. He did the food truck at the boxing event. Yeah. Oh, and he has a podcast. He plays.

Uh, it's like a Viner back in the day. I'm a big Viner back in the day. I like look up while lead Turkey transplant I like that people are being upfront about it now. I think that's cool. It looks crazy I mean, I think the only people that were ever fucking low-key about it were just like dude joblos having a toupee was such a Thing to make fun of people for all of media for like 50 years. I think it's because the deception. You think so? Of the toupee, yeah.

And the impermanence of it. You think anyone's ever gone to Turkey for like better pubes? Oh, they got like a lot. I 100% believe that. You got like a bush. Because I'm sure some people's pubes Maybe come out like jab, you know weird s shapes or maybe it's patchy You don't need your pubes to look good though

I sure like literally the worst part that I think people like is the happy trail. What if they had no happy trail? I don't have one Because you want a happy trip He just looks, he has all the fucking Blood spots on his head And he's just taking a lot of photos of himself That's great! The thing is they don't like

It has to look natural When they do the hairline They don't fucking go No they don't give you a straight one You can get it down like here, you know, like an Edgar cut. No, it's after like they'll keep your they'll keep your Norwood. They'll just notch it down a few. That's the idea.

You're supposed to look normal. Yeah, we can't all be George Lucas. OK, zipper. I'll link you this. That's a yeah. It's fucked up. That's a good person to bring up. You think it's still like that? How do you look up George Lucas now? still like that? Look up George Lucas now.

Jamie, can you pull up George Lucas current? That exists. George Lucas rule 34. Dude, there's like George Lucas M-Preg. I want to see him fucking a yub nub. Look at that fucking hairline, dude. Isn't that crazy?

No, that's good. Isn't that insane? He's got a tiny forehead. That is what I'm going to look like. He kind of looks like he got pressed by an anvil. Not if I have anything to do with it. The most evil thing you can impart on me. I want to make you bald. Dude, someone photoshopped that like years ago.

Yeah. It was so funny. Bald Nick looks awful. It'd be over for me, man. Oh, this is it? That's his hair one month before. Yeah, it's not bad one month before, but maybe it was thinning. One hour after. You have to shave that shit bald, clean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, god, I hate it. It also doesn't grow for like three months. Paws on his hair. Paws on his hair. Many months. Your hair like falls out. Oh, yeah, it looks like it.

I get why. Yeah, that makes sense. Don't say it looks like eight in a video where the guy gets a hair transplant. I think it's okay to be honest. I think he was capping the whole time. He was like, my hair has always been back. It's like, I don't think so. I wasn't capping.

I think it's been back. Wait, even by the photos, it's in the same spot. I don't think so. I think you think that. We've had this conversation 15 times. You think that, but I don't think that. Yeah, one of us has photos from every year for the past five years. Alright, you know what?

It's that I'm here coming to you telling you that I'm getting hair treatment. I'm trying to say I was right the whole time. This is like Fortnite Fridays. I feel like... Oh, it is. Is it? Yeah, one of them. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so are we gonna let Connor fucking crash into the median or are we gonna have him on? Are we gonna let him hit? Dude, but if he crashed into the median... It would be funny, it would be funny. What's his name? The young kid who sounds like the old Twitter CEO. Jack Doherty?

Jack Doherty? I don't know if I'm mixing up the two people. Oh, Jack Doherty you crashes Lamborghini going fucking Oh, that's yeah, that was like harrowing that kid thought he was gonna die and the other guy was like, oh Yes friends, I'm god though. I didn't even know if he felt any of the emotions I feel like you think about the clip. Yes, he was crazy. That's dizzy. He's so corrupted I don't think he has like a normal reaction to events that happen only like how should I react for? Chad. The camera pans over to his friend who's bleeding all down his face and he goes like he's filming he's like oh

Oh my car He's like here hold this filming get the angle. I'm like this is it is harrowing. This is dark man I think that guy might actually be a sociopath I know it's like an easy word to throw around, but I think there's a line of like, oh, I'm a brain-rotted streamer type of person. And then there's like, I have no empathy. Like I was doing.

Do you want me to show you the greatest of them? This is actually, dude, this is Gen Alpha Nightcrawler. Yeah, it literally, that's so apt. No, dude, that's exactly what Alex's friend Eric said. And I was like, wow, it's exactly the story of nightcrawler. Yes, like but it's happening and we're all watching it Oh, yeah, it's not a movie. It's the real deal Yeah, they like get busted out and like pulled out and shit and he's like just filming he's like holding his phone filming Bro, it's crazy.

Car is ugly as fucking piss too. Yeah, it looks awful. God damn, that's an ugly car. I feel bad, dude. I felt really bad for his friend cause he's like driving the car, he's got his phone out, it's fucking raining and he like crashes and his friend is fucked up.

He's really fucked. And he just doesn't, dude, he kind of doesn't give a shit about his friend, man. It's sad. Yeah, but he's really, if it makes you feel better, he has millions of dollars. He rips on YouTube, that helps for sure. Didn't he get popular off of,

the first thing I ever saw of that guy was he was going around the mall with a bodyguard and he's kind of small. And he'd go up and he'd push a random person and then his bodyguard would step in the way of the brutality. What? This thing was like antagonizing the bodyguard so no one could do shit. He's the guy in the Corinna Cop clip that went crazy, right? Yeah.

Where his bodyguard punched some dude at that party. Yeah. Can you pull the clip I sent you? This is this is a this is like him in a nutshell. It's not like a crazy clip. Nothing crazy happens, but it's just him. He bought a house and then he sold the house. And then he posted online about how much money he made flipping the house.

That's a Smith song. This is him. Well, top right for the audio. For 2.25 million, right? Quick 300, signed. Boom. It's a wrap. Sold, ready, imaginary champagne.

Shh. Fatua. That's crazy. Guys, I just bought this out here again for 1.925 million and now I'm selling it for $2.25 million, right? Quick $300. Quick $300. Oh my god, I'm excited to hear it again.

Boom. Big champagne. So, ready? Imaginary champagne. Oh my god. She hit that so clean. Oh my god, the little pause as she tries to remember the wording on that thing my favorite part

You know what he's not beast because he didn't recognize the fact that capital gains tax Yeah, take him for a fucking ride. You know, it's not beast is paying the government money That's why you should go libertarian. You just own the property for two years. He's a landlord. What a beast Oh, it's Swedish a Swedish slumlord. He's like, oh so so you like own all the apartments. That's cool I kept this for for for 11 more months. I would have paid 10% instead of 40. Dude, I watched, when I watched you and Connor play Fortnite, other Connor, I was like, there's no way they got the fucking, the jerk off shield potion. Like, they know what they're doing with that shit.

Oh, the fucking Fizzberry? Fizzberry sludge? It literally is like white fucking ropes Another thing that's really good about it, too And the reason you pick it up is because you can do it to you and your fucking homie I know and it does it never runs out. No, my heart is how you shower the boys Like Jehovah's Witness like like the monster logo is Satan shit There when you separate the lines, you know what they mean individually sixes You're you're you're you see the corruption everywhere

It's literally popping a bottle and then white foamy robes It's literally it's literally if you take the logo and divide it into three pieces I'm so right about this because they can just fucking not make it like the thing is the thing is you went to an ice cream Store and it said it's creamy on a neon sign and you both took pictures like schoolgirls Like leaked Justin Bieber's a hashtag real spill you guys were like oh my god. It's good Nick look. It's cream. No it said make it creamy Built a whole always sunny episode on this premise. It's funny On creamy yes It's funny. On Creamy?

Yes. You never watched that episode? No, I don't watch it. All you do is cream and now you're coming at the fucking two goats for thinking that a neon sign is funny. The two goats for thinking it's creamy. The two goats of cream. Just straight up.

You're coming at two goats. The two goats of cream. You say the. I'm saying two goats. You're either a creamer or you're not. You want to be the goat, you have to say you're a creamer. So are we the goats or are you the goat? That's a fucking good fucking point.

So you know what I mean? Fucking F-er. You're a creamer. So are we the goats or are you the goat? That's a fucking good fucking point. So you know what I mean? Fucking F'er. You're a real... That's what happens when you fucking step to the two goats. You're the realest creamer in the group. I can't step to the two goats though. The first time me and Lil Walk to Cream, which was actually not that long ago, he's like, yeah, they got a fucking new flavor. It's crazy. And I'm like, you're a head. You're a head, dude. You're a cream head. Oh man, I love that. He's like, no, no, no, but they don't even have it that often. Like it goes away. Bro, I see it you're ahead. You're ahead. Dude. You're a creamhead

They don't even have it that often like it goes away Like it's crazy You know Connor's such a little fucking cream. Oh, do you of course they don't even have it over there every I don't think they do Have it in Japan. He's starved of it because every time we're on a call he's like I miss the cream over by you. And we'd hang out every night. He'd play Slay the Spire for seven hours uninterrupted, never finish a single run because he's horrible. And then after losing a run he would look up at like it was like 10 on the dot he'd be like you just do that just a little fucking side eye. And you knew you have a language with you. And then you got to give him a cream.

I just say it's time. And he goes, get some cream. And you cream the heck out of him. You're not wrong. God. So next time you try to deny some shit. I'm a real creamhead. I get it. We've solved it. I won't deny it again.

God damn. F. So should I watch Parkour Civil've solved it. I won't deny it again. God damn. F. Should I watch Parkour Civilization? No. We can watch it together? We can watch it together. Cultural literacy. The only thing about it that gets tough

is it's the same music repeating in the background. Ugh. Oh, I love that shit. And he speaks like an AITTS. His diversity of vocabulary to describe each section of jumps starts to wane a bit. So it's kind of hype when he talks about and then I made the two block jump. But then you're like, then you're 45 minutes in and he'll be like, and then I made the two block jump and the three block jump.

Yeah. And it's like, well, what if what if you used a different one? If you lept, I mean, the premise is that he has an ability nobody else has Which is to 360 That is it. Okay, and so he keeps 360 in more impressive ways, but ultimately is or is it help him get more stuff. Oh Well, everything is paid for by parkour. Yeah in parkour civilization is paid for by parkour. Yeah. In parkour civilization or civilization. Oh, so it's no, it's the currency. Like he's in the 360 ads.

Yeah, Steve's is kind of currency if you think about it. I mean, that's ultimately what parkour is. It's right. Parkour is literally going to point A to point B. Is there a head? Can you get head? Like, can you do a 360 for some head? You look up I show speed, head, Minecraft.

Do you know this? I think this is a good one. Is it? You look up I show speed head minecraft We fucking watch this on the podcast and we you have seen this This is what we're in the attic. Oh, yeah, you've seen this this is a throwback. I do love this clip Whoa, she's bad. What the hell? Yeah, I can't see this cuz you guys are too young and I don't want to show this to young children So I'm about to hide my screen come on with Jenny, baby Wait this is the one yeah But he's showing you like a PowerPoint dude he's generational She's getting closer like a horror movie dude

wait dude bro screaming bro aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa screaming Oh shit, I'm Scott! Dude, I forgot! Oh, that's so fucking funny. I fucking forgot there's an actual penis. Yeah, there's a side angle on Minecraft. That's not a blocked penis, by the way. No, it's not! It's just a penis. This is a normal penis. She's so thick.

Chill. It's a Minecraft character, you gotta chill on Jenny. Fucking woke left. What more do you want from me? Fucking suck me dry, bro. You know, I'm number two behind him. Behind I just speed. Yeah. Yeah. And what? Biggest English speaking

most head of Minecraft. Most head of my girl. No biggest English speaking YouTube streamers. He's number one. I'm number two. Really? That's so beast, bro. You and him. Yes, sir. Wait, that's cool. Doing it different. So when you fire up a league stream You and him. Yes, sir. Wait, that's cool. Doing a different. So when you fire up a league stream members only.

Yeah. Yes, sir. You know, I feel like I'm doing that similar thing where I'm like, it's almost like I'm getting ahead, you know, on the Summoner's Rift. I'm getting ahead, I guess. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Right. Yes, sir. That's so cool, dude. Tim, I was streaming Melee this weekend.

Tim keeps popping into the chat with updates on your game. It's like, so he's at 12 CS at six minutes. Like something, something awful. Like, oh, see, it's like violent stats. I did have a really bad one. I did a coaching session because I want to get this done. No, I messaged him. I'll probably do a coaching, but I did with Alois, who's like a really good top laner, and I didn't know if I want to get this done. No, I messaged him. I'll probably do a coaching. But I did run with Alois, who's like a really good top laner.

And I didn't know if I want to play Top or Jungle. And he's like, yeah, if you're having a good game, is your goal. 75 CS by minute 10. And I played a game after our coaching session. It was minute 10. I had 30. Yeah, which is like so much gold. What is CS?

It's creep score. It's creep score. Because the minions give you gold. And every like, seven minions is equivalent to a kill. And so you get a lot of gold. And I'm half as much as I should be. CS is a measurement of how rich you are and how many items you have and how powerful you are. Is that because you're missing last hits? How does that shit work?

Yes, I'm missing last hits or I'm getting killed so I have to spend time walking back to lane and the wave is dying. Or I'm just, I'm fucking up. Or I'm fighting too so I have to spend time walking back to lane and the wave is dying Or I'm just fucking up Or I'm fighting too much, whatever it is Tim just kept bringing in this horror report Do you want an update? Please Can you pull up op.gg or coots? I'll show you a fucking update

It's good news Show that fucking bookmarked I love Zephyr Show that green green Irish Spring green green Let's go Bronze what is it? Bronze? What? What? Bronze three bronze three. Yes, sir. Bronze three. I just ranked up from bronze four.

That's so exciting. You're almost to your goal. So if you look, though, if you scroll in, I can't see it's a little faded out. But those there's a number in Opie dot GG tracks basically how well you played of the 10 people in the lobby. And you'll notice that I actually played very good in basically all these games They're kind of blown out, but it's fourth third second fourth MVP of the game that game by the way had an atriarch in it Oh, wow, I played better than him. Holy shit. Are you still playing? Are you playing by yourself most of the time or you doing most of the time?

It's it's it's a mix. It's if people are free. I have not been hit up, but it's okay. Nah man, he's coming. He's coming. Don't fuck with me about it, bro. I bought an account and everything. Papa's coming. And you don't want to fuck with me. I want to play with you, bro.

Me and you. How's it feel, white boy? Never forget that. I am not going to... The thing is, I can't make me. No. Yes. He has to come to that will he ever And I'm okay with I have to be okay with that otherwise I'm losing sleep My beauty sleep. I love you girl. I'm talking to Nick right now. I don't talk to you Look at me look at me the other cream in cream out to do it. Yes This is a real creeper. I don't want to fucking talk to you. I don't talk to you. Look at me. Look at me. The cream in cream out Look at me in the eyes. This is a real creamer talking. I don't want to fucking talk to you. When a real creamer talks you listen to the fuck up.

Look you in the eyes. When a real creamer talks you listen to the fuck up. You make eye contact when I cream with you. I make eye contact with you. I'm fucking real creamer speaking to you. I think what Diddy did was wrong first off, dude. Second off, I love you, girl. They hit me up to play league. I'm going to make the book this month. What I have power and the book club, I pick the book. Oh, right. You got a book rec, something fucked up. That'll change your mind.

I'm warped. Something twisted. Yeah, maybe like the prisoner of like of mice and men. Prisoner of Azkaban. Just the just the fourth one for you. Or something twisted. Yeah, maybe like the prisoner of a like of mice and men Just the just the fourth one for you. That's not the fourth. There's a third one. Sorry. I'm not a real fucking money mighty We should read like just shit. We read my what is that? I read the money Hates it sounds like Maya hates books. So putting her in the choky of something that sucks would be really funny. Let's just read American Psycho. It's not a great book.

Can I force you to read manga? Sure. Bro, I was not playing League with you. Berserk. You can't audiobook it. Don't talk to me like that. Ever again. Dude, he's getting on his fucking real ditty Ever again you said that it's fucking real did you said that what? We were trying to pick a book you picked a book and then you went oh wait you can't audiobook it Let me find a new one. No. I didn't say that yes

You did this you're freaking because Nick does this thing where he thinks he remembers shit the best Terrible yeah Your memory in this episode has been terrible. Yeah, see? I can't wait. No, no, no. Thank you guys for watching this week. Yeah, 15% off of any cream anywhere. If you, I don't know, hang out with Ludwig. Hey, real creamheads, let me know your favorite flavor in the comments. Frickin' uh, someone find out what the fuck's going on with Maverick.

If you think oat milk shouldn't be be in smoothies sound off in the comments I want to hear what anything chisler should lead our United States of American army To solve world peace is there because you watch that lunch. Lee shit's gonna fucking kill you man I need you to stop eating it do you go fucking kill you bro? I'm t-blogging prop 65 or and all over the back of the thing. I need you to stop eating that shit has cancer Oh, all right. Well see you in the bonus episode where he'll have a pink shirt now