The Yard - Ep. 179 - Slime Was Mogged...

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

This week, the boys talk about the situation with Offbrand, the most explicit Disney Channel Original Movie, and how Slime was mogged by a teammate in discord after a League of Legends game... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So what's going on here? We got, uh, Home Alone, um, Star Wars, uh, Luck of the Irish, and- Luck of the Irish? I don't know, what else? You want a ball joke? Luck of the Irish. Luck of the Irish? You want a ball joke? You want a green joke or a ball joke? No, I don't like...I reject the premise. What's wrong with being like your fellow countrymen? Guys, wait, hold on.

We gotta clear this out. There's probably a lot of people tuning in. I want to, on behalf of all of us here, you know, the whole thing with Offbrand, I think I want to clear the air. Events are hard and you take a lot of bets, right? And in the world of events and production and broadcasting is about taking the right bet.

Octua coin was supposed to be a way for us to kind of make it all work. And and it did it. Didn't it just didn't. And you can't know about presales because you can't know about presales and snipers and going to bed. Because she she believed in the coin

On it so lover I just wanted to come back, please invite us on talk to it. We've lost three mil And we're gonna get it back you're gonna help us No matter what we're getting our hawk to a coin back. Archie, can you just quick heads up? I'm not wearing underwear. And I think if I flash in a certain direction, my balls will appear. Stay vigilant. Keep your eyes down here. Yeah. Viewers don't.

Sternly. Do your shorts just say beast on them? Beast. That's cool. Why? Mr. Beast shorts from the video I filmed. Oh. Because I showered here. You're wearing a crazy color palette. Is it good? No. Is it good? No. You look like a coffee ice cream. No. Is it good? No. You look like I'd lick you up for creamer night. You did take my sweatshirt. This is Aiden's sweatshirt that he said I can't take

back with me. That hat? Did you guys sell that? Yeah, we sold that. That's just sold out. That's not for you. Mm hmm. Not your look. Wait, is it not for me? You look like Toad. I never worked. I never wear toques. I do think the issue with this one in particular is how tall it is. Look, you took that from the Mushroom Kingdom. It's so big. There you go.

What about this? What about now? Look like what Kenny was named at Kenny South Park. It's like kind of that from the Mushroom Kingdom, bro. It's so big. Yeah, there you go. What about this? What about now? You look like, what, Kenny? What's his name? Yeah, Kenny. From South Park? It's like kind of like that, I guess. I wish you were, because they kill them every episode. He is the Kenny of this podcast.

You wish you could kill me every. If I'm coming back to life in that scenario, that's more fun. Oh my god, they killed Aiden. Oh no. I guess Slime-Up's Cartman? Yeah, 100%. Obviously. Obviously, he's the most terrorist

we already ran the simulation what happens if I die and when when cutie sold her shirt and People were sad people were sad but also opened up their wallets. Yeah More than their heart made a lot of money on the just the idea of you dying. That's true We actually thought we're gonna make soul. Oh my god That shirt's crazy cuz when people people will come up to me with that shirt on at like an event and they'll be like, you know, look, check it out. You're on my shirt. And I and I see that I see that one, two.

I don't even own that shirt. No, I didn't. I didn't sell it. I didn't make money off of it. I don't own it. It's just it's just three big pictures of me on a shirt. And I'm like, yep, that's me. I died. Oh, Rez.

You know, yeah. And it's like a it's like a T-shirt maker shirt. It's not even comfort colors. No, it's like Hanes, like from the Gilden said no. Gilden said no. Gilden said no. Well, I you know, it'd be a funnier concept too for the round two?

When he actually dies is we do like a gang, gangster, like a guy, like I fucking miss you homie, like old English and it's Aiden but he's got like face tattoos. Yeah, yeah, like gangster Bart Simpson shirt. Yeah. Rewrite history. We rewrite history. We say that guy was the fucking craziest dude on the block because I'm killed in a gang attack He was loco or it says wanted convicted pedophile. It's just a photo of but there's still tattoos on my neck Yeah, you're tatted you're tatted. You look dangerous cool. Yeah, you're great. You look great. It's bad

The teardrops meant something different for me with a believable size reward so people believe the shirt. Like $10,000 reward. Dude, I got to workshop my fucking Sprinter views. I've gotten two already and I've just bombed them. We were talking about it. It's unlike you, man. Yeah, I'm shocked. I feel like this is your environment. Getting mugged so hard.

I get, look, a guy on my team. Well, just for context, after League games, he tries to spam a Discord and just two times in the, I don't know how many times he spammed it. Well, it's, I've tried it like eight times. It's only, I don't know if they're mean. Yes, and you're trying to talk to this mean person and then talk them down, but you're low key getting mugged.

Dude, he just kept screaming over me and said, you want to talk to me, don't you? I'm your little daddy. And then you said, and then you said, damage doesn't even matter that much. I didn't want to say that. It doesn't even matter that much. He was fucking Teemo, bro. He was Teemo and he gets passive damage and I was in eight and two and nine.

And it was we won the game and he's I know it's league talk early, but I mugged him in every metric. I got what I said. Except damage. And he goes, why are you so mean? Because I like it. I'm your daddy. You're thinking about me.

I know you're thinking about me. When that guy responded to, why are you so mean with, because it makes me feel good. I was like, wow. That level of ownership is- He's even self-aware. Yeah, he's got everything to do.

You've been fucking- I don't know how to solve that. You've been frolicking in the x.com fields thinking you're hot shit. You're playing whack-a-mole, bro. Yeah. I am slaying level one skeletons. You're playing Whac-A-Mole, bro. Yeah, I am slaying level one skeletons. You're playing with plumbers on Twitter. But league fucking top lane teemos that fucking get mad at two minutes in for no reason, it's a different ballgame.

Legal cut your teeth? You spent a few months in there? I say some shit now. Dude, you do. I say some shit, yes. We said it in the chat or on your stream? Both. What are you saying in the chat?? Yes? Stream it to both. No, what do you say in the child man call him be? Shit, there's a screenshot Tim has somewhere so it always goes to fucking kill myself. Yeah Yes, I felt dude. I we're not even close to an hour by the way Con this is Jason social there are two times times I've genuinely thought about doing it.

One. What? Killing yourself? Yeah. OK. There's two times. Which times? Number one, Mohigan's son. Is that a football player? Casino in Connecticut. I go like 2017, 18, Jake and and maybe Christian and a couple of other guys.

We didn't know you yet Hey, you guys didn't know me and I and I and I hit big on Buffalo No reason hit big on Buffalo slot. Yeah, okay lose it all no draw out more money Go back to Buffalo just fucking Zero And then I go to bed and I call my ex Yeah, it's like 2017 prize fucking almost ten years ago I said I need to borrow some money I have a way to get it back immediately. I go you wanna you want to start a business together

I go, you want to, you want to start a business together? 4000 right now. I miss you. Uh, by the way, dude. Oh my God. Just punting and then calling your ex. That is sad. And the only other time I felt that low is Thursday of last week. League week.

Lee. No, after, wait, is it, is it after league week? Sorry. Friday. Friday. Three days. Friday. Three days ago. Yeah. Okay. Friday, three days ago. Yeah.

OK. Friday, three days ago. I we had the off brand meeting. Yeah. Which is already pretty bad. Which is horrible. And I go home and I'm I'm a little surprised. That's not where the story. Well, I'm already I'm already down. I don't like kicking camera.

You called your ex. You got that out of the way. And she's like, why are you calling? your ex, he got that out of the way. And I'm like. Yeah. She's like why are you calling me? And she said, but we went over the business model. It made a ton of sense. And then, and then I'm waiting for the news to go public and I'm like, I'll play some league. And the games are brutal.

It's just like five back to back to back losses. And I, and that's what tipped me over. Wow. I was like, because I was like, this is my this is what I'm holding on to hope for. And it's going horribly. Yeah, you have nothing. You have nothing. I had nothing. Your company tanked. My ELO's tanked.

Did they go Discord? With my teammates? Yeah. No, I'm I'm I'm bro, I'm despondent. I'm despondent. It's like minute four and they died in lane. I'm like, okay. What are you going to do? Another one of these, another one of these folks.

Never gets any easier, does it? Uh, and I've only bounced back today because me and Aiden played ball and I hit a game winner and then I had five different people come over and say, are you Ludwig? Can I get a picture? Great game winner. And I went, thanks.

Yeah. Michael Jordan. Five minutes before Ludwig arrives, Aidan in front of a crowd. All right, everyone, thank you for showing up today. We're going to set up a really kind of game to kind of get Ludwig's morale back. He was, he was thinking about killing himself on Friday. Extra's, extra's when he makes the shot, you guys are clap, clap high energy. Ludwig morale back he was he was thinking about killing himself on Friday

The shot you guys are clapped clapped high The defense felt a little like Make him work for it make him work. Yeah, well, it's the fucking most miserable world ever It is no one seems to care that I got fired. No one said sorry to me. I sure did. You came over the other day and I was like, you're unemployed now, aren't you? I pointed at you. Oh, it does suck, man. All them damn, all them damn awesome people.

There is the big spreadsheet. If you haven't heard, there's a big spreadsheet under the off-brand post that has all the people's information and contact for hiring and stuff because yeah it sucks. Do you think it's do you think it's worth clarifying anything on the yard podcast? Oh my god that reddit thread is abysmal which reddit thread? The one that's just like like all that forensic analysts. The forensic analysts because you said, I would argue, you said some things you shouldn't have said. Not because he's hiding anything illegal, but because you just said things that weren't quite true.

What? No. No, we put the word out on the street. I'm sorry. The word out on the street was just, it was vague, so it let people assume. I'm a vague person. The word out on the street was just it was vague so it let people assume I think some people think that off-brand didn't pay 3 million dollars in taxes, which is not what happened. Yeah I look I think some people be dangerous with how you buy I've a post and I think they I guess there's no one to pay. No one to chat. Why would we put the word out on the street? Look, I think some people- You'd be dangerous with how you put the word out. I've vague posted, I think they ran with it, but like, what's wrong with a couple of headless chickens running around?

You can't- There's blood! There's so much blood! It's blood! It's just blood! It's like John IRS blew up LSM! Calvin, you already said you won DM that showed you why you shouldn't have the chickens running around. That was a tough one. That was a tough one. That was a tough one. He had me there a whole lot.

You already said you did. I want to see this so bad. You got me on that, guy. But the other one. I think I am learning. And it's confusing because I think a lot of close friends have asked over the years because they don't really get the structure of the companies and how these things are separated.

Like, what's offering? What's mobile? My favorite comment. We guy who was like, it's crazy how they went under with funding from places like the yard. What? He was like, Offred, if I knew it, if I knew it. Offred couldn't make it with funding from the yard

and Red Bull. And I was just like, that's not how it worked. That's a big two. Funding from the yard and Red Bull. And I was just like, that's not how it worked. That's a big tune. Funding from the yard is so funny. And Hoppin replied to that guy. He said, Oh my God, I'm so sorry you lost your job at Off Brand. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but you look, by the way, with that on your arm,

you now look like Mega Man. Oh, that's kind of so. So that's cool. That's what our penis looks like it is a little No way go back to normal Looks more like this. Yeah, that's what I'm saying and then it gets a wreck and then it kind of falls That's what my penis looks like right now is your speak on your number This is what the fit it's you'll never see you don't have it like this

Don't have it like that Did you guys ever watch circumcised porn growing up and be like, this nog is weird? But the fuck was that? This porn nog is weird for me. Because they're like, I don't look the same. Now, when I was watching, there's not a category. It's called circumcised. It's mostly circumcised.

But there's no. So you're looking at it and you got fucking weird, long skin looking like a sleeve of wizard. I was educated about my sleeve of wizard early on That's not called that's a very offensive term that's been spread for years propagated. Well, he's trying to take it back Wizard's wizard sleeve is the appropriate way to say that we won't say it anymore. Y'all can't say that my wizard sleeve You guys watched a nog back in the day Oh, yeah when we watch nog

And you saw a big circumcised nine inch fucking behemoth Flopping around like a magic carp. Yeah, were you like that's weird Did you scream? My first nog was when I was relatively old so I already knew about circumcision Cuz I wasn't nogging until my You had to ask me for the password, the wifi password I think all uncircumcised people know about circumcised people But not all circumcised people know about uncircumcised people

I think, I can think back to when I first saw a circumcised penis I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, ours is, we know We know This looks like a dark soul's- I don't know when I learned this We're born in a different age I learned this

I'm trying to think back now When did you learn, how did you learn? Uh, I think it was my cousin, Joe. Yeah. And in French, he was like... He'll teach you. Yeah, I'll translate, but he was like, we're at this... A palavas to float for the real ones.

You can just say it in French. I was saying, she was like, he was like, yes, it is important you clean your penis because sometimes you have little... She's in pee-pee, it's not good. Wash that good times. He told you to have plumage cheese and pee-pee is not good. Watch that good times. He told you you have fromage in your pee? Don't clean that shit. Well, that's gross.

That was in a Dexter's lab episode. That's the first word he learned. Appreciate that, cuz. Yeah. That is new formage. And I said from experience? He's like, yeah. I was like, all right, cool.

He's like, no, eat these M&M's, boy. And I ate his white M&M's. Yeah. He was cool, man. He was cool. And they weren't in his butt. They make them special. They came from France. Can you taste sour in your butt? If you ate a sour warhead in your butt.

No, you can't taste from your butt. You probably can't taste it sour. There might be a way. If you could taste from your butt, every shit would suck. Oh, because it tastes like poop in your butt, every shit would suck. Oh, because it tastes like poop in your butt. That's... I bet evolutionarily along the chain, over 65 million years, there was a species branch that could taste through their butt and they died out because life sucked so bad.

Yeah, their name was liberals. Let's go. Oh, shit. Up top. Where are you? Where are you? Me and... Bud, where are you? Me and uh, me and Alex Me and Alex were working on a stream where we do the god gamer

challenge in person and we got a real wheel and uh, what's up? Dude Stupid. Why? It was just a wheel spinning simulator like cut out the games, just spin the fucking wheel for 10 hours But people like the wheel. I know that's what I'm saying just do the wheel.

And I was thinking so I was trying to find wheels on Amazon it's kind of hard and To find the ones at the right amount of You need the right amount of slots. And so like I found 12 I came to Tang because we have we have to have phone break on there right okay That's 11 so I went with 12, and I was delivering all day. I was trying to think of a good idea I was like what should 12 be I was delivering all day. I was trying to think of a good idea. I was like, what should 12 be?

I thought about it for like two hours. I even asked my girlfriend her ideas. And then I asked Alex, he thinks about it for like three seconds and he goes, what if it was sour? You do a sour candy challenge? He's like, do we eat like a really fucking sour candy? He's really on sour.

I wanted to ask, what is going on? Is this all because of the business idea that you told Pokimane? No, I started before that. Is it, what, what you, cause you guys just say sour. I'm trying to understand it. You guys just say sour and laugh

and I feel like I'm missing something. She definitely fucking stuck a fucking knife in our heart I don't know much about it. Right, yeah. Cause she like was like, she basically rolled her fucking eyes. She talks about the courage and like you think no is the worst they can say and then Pokey comes in.

It's like no plus more plus ratio. Yeah. Also, I called up Alex. He's drunk. He's like, I'm fucking drunk. I'm out of state and I'm like, okay, cool. I have an idea. Sour keyboard.

Yeah, he didn't like sour jeans either. And then he yelled at me. That doesn't make any sense. It does. You get your sour fix by typing. What? What is it? Through the fingers! Dude, you think you can taste from places you can't. I don't know why. It's a new thing.

You can develop it! If you could taste from your fingers, you'd be tasting your shit all the time. If you could develop that, that's the real product. If you develop tasting from your fingers, the sour keyboard is not the product we sell. your shit if you can develop that that's the real product you know what if you develop tasting from your fingers the sour keyboard is like that's dumb dude and he's like drunk and he's like how many viewers got right now I'm like don't ever don't ask me that He wants to know What was the can never raids Alex?

Of course he asked me always asked for it begs me dude. Why don't you rate him? Why would he begs me? I do I'm getting a sign off on sour keyboard, but you won't give him a raid takes to tango. That's true We never raid you I don't think he's ever rated me in raided me in my life. I've been getting raids again. It feels good. Dude. I love that wig on Twitch. I feel so awesome. It's back.

I don't like it. I don't like it because I, he had a stream this morning that I knew he had to do and I was trying to figure I was checking in because I'm like, surely he's getting the job done. The Fortnite sponsored stream. And I keep opening YouTube refreshing YouTube streams not live I'm worried. Oh, you just didn't know I'm worried sick. This isn't your isn't his But you know why are you he's not multi streaming now if he cared about this business He would my god fucking don't say that shit

If you had this subreddit right now is revving up like a lawnmower my subreddit has been become a group of terrorists Yeah, they are they're all the brave Mujahideen warriors I've realized why. It's because there's no offline chat. So they just congregate in reddit. Oh to you truly Express their dissatisfaction with me going to twitch. They broke Yangling I'm like scrolling through that thread about the off-brand clip and just halfway down I see a that's like I don't know why you guys fucking need to know about like who did this this is insane that you guys are all asking and theorizing and then I look at the account and it's just Nick Yng like all caps.

Go to war online. He loves that shit. He'd be going to war. Well yeah it's funny you're it's you people are mad because they're like you can tell people who found you while you were on YouTube And they're like so twitch kind of sucks guys right and it's like dude You're just weren't around which is funny to kind of chart where the Ludwig heads You know are and then Charlie made a video Charlie made a video that felt like it called me out Yeah, because you're dumb as bricks for not multi streaming that Multi streaming you're dumb as bricks for not multistreaming. I'm watching. I'm anti-multi-streaming.

You know, multistreaming, you're fucking stupid and gay. I know you said that shit. And your nipple's twisted by a freaking nipple-twisting. Anyway, here's Octo-Day. It's called the Sour Olympics. I'm going to do it all in one bite. Alex came to me, and I think it's a really good idea. Yeah.

This shit is so sour, it's the most sour in my nipples. Yeah, I get it. I get it, yes. He made a fucking video. Sour Dix, sour bag of dicks that I'm shocked. I get it! Sour Esports is my new, the team I'm gonna pay money. Sour Moki.

Don't do it again, I know you want to do it again. Sour Moki People souring the sportsman The government is so fucking stupid Next you're the only one that can do the voice by the way I'm not bad It's not even fucking good You sound like Goofy more than goddamn Charlie And you're just Aiden You're just Aiden You just keep going yeah, Avisa I'm Charlie, sour Visa

We all know Aiden can't do the voice He's the only one doing the fucking voice, why are you trying to fucking do the voice He's close though I doing the fucking voice. Why are you trying to fucking do the voice? He's not even fucking close. I thought it was really cool. I love how he fucking cared about his co-hosts. You don't sound like him! No, that's it. That's it, I'm nailing it.

He said that there's basically no reason to not multistream. You're a chat guy though. You're a chat culture guy. I just disagree with him. Why? I like chat culture too. Give me your pitch. Give me your pitch. Okay, here's my short pitch. Here's my short pitch. I would have more overall viewers but less viewers on one site.

And if you funnel as many viewers to Twitch as possible, generally it snowballs when you're a big creator because you'd be at the top of the category and you'll grow as a creator. They see the hype, they're like, what's over there? Yes. All right. And so if you're at the top of the League category, Valorant category, just chatting, you get more viewers throughout a top of the league category Valorant category just chatting you get more viewers

Throughout the course of the stream as opposed to if I had like 13k on YouTube and 10k on Twitch I would be lower in the category. I wouldn't grow as much you'd be lower in unique. So I might be that's important to you Huh pussy? I Love to say man you would go back for Are you practicing right now cuz you got hurt earlier is that what this is? He was just so is all that matters couldn't get a word Oh All that matters

Yes, I care about crowing pussy. Yes, I care about growing. I'm pussy. Yes. I'm pussy. I like it. And yes, I figured I'd like some pussy. Yeah! Look, I just did the math. I had 20k before I left Twitch. I averaged 15k this past year. That's a lower number. On YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is interesting. I remember you told me something interesting. I was like, do you ever get sad about viewership? And you're like, after the sub-a-thon, it didn't really go up, and I realized like chasing that dragon is not good.

But I guess you're not chasing a dragon, you're starting to continue to grow. But the problem is you're gonna be 30. Don't say that. So that's like tough, right? Don't say like it's a problem. Oh. No, I mean it's good. Did he share you? What's wrong with me in 30? Don't say like it's a problem. Oh. No, I mean it's good. What's wrong with me in 30? Dude, he's had like the worst week ever. I know, I'm being fucking awful.

You're just being cruel. Fucking 30. Do you get scared about being 30? Do you think about it? What a stupid fucking question. Are you fucking scared? I'm scared every day, man. I'm 34.

He's already there. Yeah, some 27 year old. I thought you were talking about Derebus again. No, I'm fucking 29, I'm fine. I'm 29 for day man. I'm 34. He's already there. Yeah some 27 year old in his discord. I thought you were talking about therapist again. No I'm fucking 29. I'm fine. I'm 29 for literally seven months. It's a good amount of time. Not very long. It's a good amount of time. It's closing in. Literally don't eat for seven months. You can't. I might still be alive. You wouldn't. There's a 0% chance. Did I get water? Yeah. You got me that big rapper who's in a hospital bed eating cake to live that. Can I have sour things?

Yes, but- I'm alive. It's only the- I'm good. No. No, you'll hollow out. Does he get the sour jeans or the sour keyboard? He has to eat one pair of sour jeans and then the keyboard-

If you have a divorced parents, you get both. That's true. Two Christmases. The yard sour giveaway. Yeah, I remember I was 12 for Christmas, I got my hop hog HD PVR and my sour jeans. I got a hop hog HD PVR for Christmas too. Dude, there's this trendy ass dude at

the coffee shop I met. And he's like, he's so stylish and tall and cool. You keep talking about this guy. Is he a barista? Yeah, well he had vintage echo baggy jeans. That's cool. And I'm like, dude, this is fucked up because I remember when those were new.

Because when I was in middle school, those were like what you just bought and that's scary to me. Yeah. It's all back, man. Did you just bring them up to bring them back in jeans or do you want to fuck them? Yeah, I was basically just saying it's crazy that the shit that I bought like that's vintage now. Yeah. It's weird. Like big old DC clunky shoes. You can make those stylish now.

No, the Osiris? Yeah, bro. The big flashy stuff, stupid ass one? Maybe Osiris, but DC or like element. If Osiris has come back, I think truly their fashion is a meme. Is Enjoy back? Enjoy the skate brand? With the Panda.

Yeah. Bro, you know I yeah bro I like the Panda that's good this kid is Ryan Sheckler back no why no crying Sheckler he's balding so he is just is he can you look up Ryan Sheckler hairline he's still skating right he still skateboards I don't think he's still skateboards bro for sure he's like 40 he's not 40 years old he's a hundred percent like hold on hold on how old is right he's thirty six. He's a 40 years old. He's a hundred percent. Hold on. Hold on. How old is he? He's 36 Okay. Yeah, he might be 30 fucking eight, but that's 40 17. No, he's 30. Wait, that means you're 30

I know I am I not? Am I not? Oh, that's Justin Bieber. Wait, he's a co-worker? You made fun of a fucking fellow athlete. Wait, is still in Red Bull? Yeah he's still in Red Bull. We don't know that. Look up his age. Tell me his age. Tell me his age ref. Ryan Checkliff age. 37. 37. 34! Oh my!

Oh he's a young gun. He turns 35 this month. Me and him would have went to high school together. That's awesome. Oh wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Oh wow. Yeah. That's crazy. 1989? Uh, yeah.

Damn, bitch. That's year of the snake. 89 is snake and 90s are horse babies. What? Cause everyone was either- What's a horse baby? A Chinese zodiac, bro. You don't even give a shit about the mainland.

It's a baby of a horse? No, a Chinese zodiac. We're all horse babies in 1990. What do you know about the Chinese zodiac? I know that in 90 you're a horse and in 89 you're a snake. What does that mean? What does it mean if you're fucking snake or a horse? You're a snake from 1995.

Wait, what are we in 90? Are they going off their Gregorian calendar? No, they're going for years. It's the Chinese Zodiac. 96 and 97. Alright, what is your Chinese Zodiac? Is the year not the Gregorian calendar? 1995.

It's the Chinese Zodiac. We have to know. Rooster. Huh? The cock? The rooster big cock big 95 must be rat little bows a dragon would be so fucking cool oh 95 vision for this it's it's tough 95 you're a pig who's that I'm the rat. That makes sense for you.

What the hell is that? Pig makes sense for me. I've been on your... Don't say pig makes sense. Don't talk about yourself. I know it makes sense. I'm not gonna lie. What are you? Ox. That makes sense for you. Yeah.

That doesn't make sense for him. Why? You see his penis? Mmm. True. You got damn cock. Yeah. You got damn cock for days. That shit looks like a baseball bat. Amen, brother.

That's a slugger. That shit looks like an baseball bat. Amen, brother. That's a slugger. That shit looks like an aluminum bat. Sorry, can't use that bat here! Can't wood only! Tell me, it's your penis. Talking about. What are you? Horse.

Right. That doesn't make sense. Big ol' fuckin' horse. You know Aidan has jizz all over his room. What the... He told him last night. He had jizz all over your room. Why?

He's got all sorts of fuckin' splooge everywhere. Top of the door frame? Eww if it's blue who you think ropes the furthest? Me oh is it like just blind you on any given no, but you go from tip average I'm negative too. Yeah How does he get to 8 inch head start? 8 inches head start? What does that mean? It is an 8 inch head start 15 inch dick I'm negative 2 I'm fucking I'm shooting enough to get on top of my

door frame Nick's worried sick I've got range, no cause he's leaving my presence I believe he's got range cause he makes the court 3 points lighter I'm moving out 3 pounds lighter You gotta clean all the come off the door Are you guys announced you're moving out? I'm moving out damn And fucking fine

Room last night cuz about to my room. Yeah, and I'm like wait what you mean cuz he'll be leaving so it's your stew No, it's just like you know I will own it. No, no, but what are you doing with they're doing a No, it's just like I will own it. No, no, but what are you doing with it? They're doing a Separate rooms thing you know his or hers bed. Well, she's gonna be out of the equation. So it's gonna Do it probably guest room But the point was that I needed to find all his jizz kind news probably covered in the blacklight I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go with a blacklight. I'm gonna find all his Awesome sploosh. No, that'll be fun. He's gonna be upset.

That'll be fun for the family. What's the last thing you came on? Uh... Don't answer that. I think my passport. Hahahaha! Well, cause you gotta make a stamp. Sir, why are the pages stuck together between Spain and France?

No, I was in Mali and they're doing it! They got crazy stamps it They got crazy stamps They got crazy stamps That's how they stamp it in France You gotta come with your passport That's true When you leave France They have to give you the passport so they know you're there

The French custom officer just rubs one out You don't sign You do not sign, yeah Dude the stitches in my gums are falling out. It's fucking gross. Ew, is he swallowing them by accident? No, you have to get them, like, they're just, they're kind of like, they're stuck in there.

He has to take them out. Oh, swallow that shit whole. You can't, it's tied into my gum. Dude, they weave in and out. Me, I get that shit out with my tongue. I tried, I've been tonguing it so many times. It's because he's a better kisser than you. He's probably not supposed to tongue it.

He's not a better kisser. Oh, you can't tie it, fuck it. I know you can't tie a knot with a cherry I know that Kids always said if you could get the stitches out of your gums by yourself with your tongue You're a good kisser They did say that after the gum graft that that happens Dude, I remember trying to eat apples sexily after watching Zoe 101

What did she? Apparently there was something in Zoe 101 about how you eat apples makes you a good kisser So I like I would eat apples really That's how I learned about the cherry stem thing was from dragon Josh. Yeah Really? Yeah, what the hell? So I just eat apple I don't even know how to kind of think like the apple slice You're not like tongue in the apple like you just eat the apple No, it's like that you're just eating it. What do you think of that? You're just seeing that?

I'd be doing it right now. He doesn't look he looks weird. No I hate Aiden, but he could eat an apple and fucking turn I eat apples. Wait, I'm not here way sexier wait faster I don't care if it's sexy. I'm quick. I'm definitely a fake teeth. It's hard for me Yeah, cuz one breaks off the front. Well, I can't use my front teeth. Oh Laudy, yeah, but I got my foot my fake tooth They They're like, alright, so just avoid like hard free like apples and stuff I'm like for how long he's like forever for your life. Yeah, he's like you have to eat him with your molars Oh, you like chop him up. Yeah, baby. He's gonna do baby Or maybe like mashed with a small spoon

Yeah, I had to do one my god. I had to damn baby if I cooked for the first time in like a year I had to do when my god I had a damn baby if I cooked for the first time in like a year No, cuz I use some olive oil, okay that guy that trolled me today he called me olive oil neck beard What does that mean? Give me context give me the whole sentence like problem? He knows you cook with olive oil Give me context, give me the whole sentence He said, yeah, he just said olive oil neck beard and then I said, how old are you? in chat before discord and then he said, you're a pdf

and then he said olive oil neck beard shut the fuck up Damn Do you have hair on your neck? This guy crossed you out This sucks bro I don't really know what olive oil means though. Greasy, I guess Oily. Yeah, I guess acne. I guess I'm just dumb as shit I'm just stupid. I guess I'm stupid as fuck and no one likes me anymore. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Bummer. Do you guys remember?

Yo, I've been thinking a lot about Batman lately. Okay. And how do you think you would eat factor meals? Factor meals? Whoa. Cause he's busy fighting crime. But he also needs a lot of protein cause he has so many muscles. Yeah, he has so many muscles. He just ate all the fucking food. Batman has a butler, right?

Yo, yeah. So he doesn't he's but the Joker I think would really enjoy the factor meals. If you look closely During the ending scene in the Dark Knight Rises He's eating a factor French cafe Guess what Alfred's there look down he's eating a factor to stone cold So if you're whether or not you're good or evil or an agent of chaos or justice and mercenary

planning to hurt criminals, maybe Factor is for you. Do you think Luigi eats Factor meals? Okay, anyway. The Nintendo character. Of course he does. He especially loves the Italian foods. 35 plus meal choices.

Because they have mushrooms. Because he looks very strong in his pictures. 55 plus weekly add-on options, juices, smoothies, snacks. You know what it is, it's Factor. Eat it like a Luigi. I heard you eat a Luigi. And the thing is, you don't have to feel guilty if you're Batman and you have to choose

between your girlfriend and Gotham City. No. Or if you get, you know, cause there's comfort free foods, or what is it? There's guilt free foods. Guilty comfort foods. There's no guilt, no one is being charged or prosecuted as guilty.

Maybe you're better at it with back pain and you just can't cook. You can get the sweet potato and chickpea curry. That sounds yummy. I really like the homestyle chicken and gravy and loaded mashed pork chops. If you live in New York City and the grocery store is not near you, Factor is a great choice. You can hop on an e-bike and get a microwave and then bring it home. Get on a damn city bike. Anyway, head to factor meals.com slash the yard 50 and use code the yard 50.

This code is going to blow your mind. It gives you 50% off your first box. factormeals.com slash the yard 50. This shit will blow your back out, bro. Code the yard 50 America's number one ready to eat meal kit. I went to that wedding in New York like a couple months ago We remember and it was a gay wedding. It was your wedding. It was a gay wedding. It was a gay wedding It was you getting married to game. I wasn't doing gay gay things. They gave you a warm for the gayest wedding of all time. Other people were being gay at the wedding.

You were a little gay at the gay wedding. Two women were getting married. It was a very gay wedding. You're one of the women. We don't know who made it the gay one. But you guys might remember I met the speechwriter for the head of the FTC, Lena Kahn, and I was sitting at her table. I was meeting a bunch of people that they all worked on like a political campaign together a long time ago. She just did Lena Conn did a video with Hassan recently.

They did an interview. I really liked it. And I texted the speechwriter that I met and I was like, Hey, great video. Hope you and the team, you know, liked it. Hope it went well. And she didn't respond for like the whole day. And I'm like, oh, you know, that's too bad. She didn't respond. And then the next morning I opened the New York Times and I see an article about Trump replaces head of FTC, like if chooses is big, they had just found out their whole team lost their jobs. Oh my God.

I texted them the same day. They were draining the swamp, bud. Swamp drained. Swamp drained. Congrats to a year of employment. Yeah. At a job that we like. Doge is in, bro. Doge is in?

The FTC is out. Doge is draining the swamp and now no one will ever be inefficient ever again. And we're not suing anyone and free speech is legal to know oh Finally Grock's been going crazy Are the weird grock tweets real are they people like you say not okay? Grock told me how to do the bomb I mean Grock can do some crazy shit But like when a grock says hey, how are you doing? And then it says I want to kill Elon Musk on December 14th like that's that is someone saying hey reply this when I ask you a message

Manipulatable yes Funny is when you click those though, it doesn't show you the context. Yeah, it's just like ask rock yourself. Yeah Oh the shitter brush it's gonna get so weird man, what like you should have the context here. Oh, the shitter brush, it's gonna get so weird, man. What do you mean? And the damn Doverment, dude! It's gonna get weird, the Doverment. The damn Doverment. The Doverment.

They're gonna put dolphin births back on Disney Channel? Yeah. Fuck, bro. It explodes out her pussy. Yeah. It's crazy. It is a blood explosion, it is so... It's a dolphin that gets there

Dolphins have pussies brother. Where else does it come from? Cloaca their mammals and you don't know what a cloaca is so don't pretend. I know the cloaca Look at the zipper. He's only trying to make something Is there a look of dolphin cloaca HD up close? I'm like, pfff, Grok. Ask Grok. He's like, come on! Oh, we can't look at nature shit anymore. My bad. Sorry.

Jamie would pull it up, no questions asked. Didn't realize the lips took that one away from me. Also real quick before you maybe or after either way, but I sent you a photo if you could bring that up too. Pull out my first zipper. No, dolphins do not have a cloaca. And that's the AI. And we trust Grok in this house.

They don't. Zipper, can you look up what a cloaca is? Separate openings for that digestive urinary. It's a common cavity at the end of a digestive tract for the release of both excretory and genital products. With the butthole. So it definitely wasn't going to come out of cloaca, even if it had one. Except most mammals.

So mammals don't have this. So non mammals poop and give birth at the same time. Weird enough. Stop listening to y'all a while ago. So anyway, our decom, a ring of endless light, we just recorded the premium episode of it. There's a dolphin birth in it, cause it's an early decom when they were still kind of,

some adult theme still in there. A guy dies in that movie on camera. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. And then there's a dolphin birth and there's so much blood Love it. Love it. It was crazy. I'm talking directly to you. There's so much blood. It was gross It's actually really hard to Google you have to just go on Disney Plus and watch it. Have you watched childbirth videos before? No, but shortly after we talked about this his fucking girlfriend starts bringing up childbirth videos She's like watching this, his fucking girlfriend starts bringing up childbirth videos. She's like, watch, in this one, his legs come out first. What the fuck?

And she was showing it to my girlfriend who cried. Yeah, you don't want the legs out for you. Not in like a fun cry, like so beautiful way, she screamed. I don't think it feels like the fun beautiful way unless it's your kid. She was like, she was on her laptop, she's like, I'm watching childbirth right now. This one's a C-section.

She was doing it for fun. And what the fuck's going on? Well, my girlfriend is, she's- A drinker. A fiend. She's a fiend for birth. I don't know. She makes any-

She used to want to become a doula. She used to want to help women like prep and like give birth and she like knows everything about it You know what a duel is? Like a gangster Yu-Gi-Oh player Let's go let's go Let's go let's go I missed you bro I missed you bro

You know how you felt after that five game loss? Yeah Okay wait so she's just watching fucking awesome hardcore birth sour videos She's just fascinated by sour birth. Am I wrong to say every human, every human should look at a birth video? Yeah, I think they should. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Because you were birthed. No, I wasn't. Yeah, do I have to watch a decapitation video because I'll die one day?

Yeah, go ahead, Matt. I'm sorry. Do something to get decapitated. Yo, but everyone dies. Do I have to watch a death video? I don't think it's necessary because you'll experience that, but I don't think you need an appreciation for how death happens. So women don't have to watch birth videos, only men? No, I think everyone should watch birth videos. Everyone probably should. But they'll experience it.

Not all women. But I'm saying when you experience death, you don't have to worry about it. For all you know, because you're atheists, but for us Christians, Yeah, for Christ as King. who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's the same situation. For all you know, because you're atheists, but for us Christians, Yeah, for Christ as King. who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's the same situation. No, because you have to watch yourself die.

It becomes a movie in heaven. And then you're sent to heaven. You're chill with your boys. The best movie in heaven is Your Death. Yeah, you drink Michelob's with Jesus Christ. I don't think that happens. No, it's true. It's the light beer of joy.

You don't need to listen to the heretics. It's all sourdough in heaven. They still, they cut the skin off their penis. They savages. I think everyone should watch a damn birth video. And I think you should watch animals get shot. They still- they cut the skin off their penis. They savages. Yeah, or- Uh, I think everyone should watch a damn birth video. And I think you should watch animals get shot. Huh? Wait, do you guys wanna watch a deer video?

What's that? Wait, you've never seen this? The birthing one? No, the deer and the bear. Deer and the bear? Wait, what? Is a bear killing a deer? I thought this was something different.

I don't think he's killing them. I think they're having fun. Is this the video- I thought this was the video you saw about on Pot About List. No, that's Donkey- it hits my train. Yeah. But the donkey's fine. The donkey's fine. It's like the Daily Dose voice. Turn this up, Zipper. Don't turn this up. Don't turn this up. Keep this down. No, wait. This isn't the one. That's not it. Keep this down. I don't need to see a frieze.

No, that's not the one! That's sick. That's a residential neighborhood. That's wrong. Yeah, you do. I don't need to see a crying deer. No, that's not the one! That's sick. In a residential neighborhood. That's wrong. Yeah, you do. I don't need to see that. Yeah, you do. No, why not? For the same reason you need to see a birth.

No, because that is not a human. That might happen. I- what? That you won't know what to do. What? Imagine- Bear- If that happened in front of me, I'd walk away.

I can't. You can't. You're in a- you're in a chamber. Imagine the deer is like- I restrain the premise. It's me. It's me. What do you do then?

I walk away. You're not the bear, bro. You're not the bear. I walk away- I know when I'm supposed to take my fights. Yeah, it's true. I refuse the premise. It's me. What do you do then? I walk away You're not the bear. I walk away. I know when I'm supposed to take my fights. Yeah, it's true. You push too far. It's not my fault It's my fault. If you're getting mounted by a bear. Yes, you push too far Oh, because of how I dress. Maybe maybe you look like appealing to a bear. I don't know maybe don't salt around you I don't know. Wow interesting you don't say this you know some bear from coming on to you Yeah, it's honestly your fault. It's probably your fault, I don't know. Wow, interesting you don't see. You don't have to stop a bear from coming onto you. Yeah, it's honestly your fault. It's probably your fault. You're dressed that way.

You need salt, you need salt, bro. Right. Do you look up bear deer screaming? Don't look this up. Why do you wanna look this up? I think it's funny. This is a weird episode. That's not it.

It's not funny. There's bear deer screaming? It's all right, it's not. Look up a birth video, Zipper. No. I don't wanna watch it. We could. I'm squeamish.

Let's watch it. Bear deer birth. No, no, a human. A human. Zipper, you look up bear deer birth. What are we? Man bear pink? Dude, that bear's gonna...

Dude, deer's gonna pop out of that deer's pussy. Don't... It's a cloaca. No, vertebrae... It's not a cloaca. It said most mammals, not all mammals. Don't- it's a cloaca. No, vertebrate- It's not a cloaca. It said most mammals, not all mammals. Oh, it's a baby deer, man!

So tiny! I was waiting for the bear. I was waiting for it to shoot out like- Why would there be a bear? Do you think childbirth is beautiful? I think it is- I don't know. Do you think it should be painful? Do I think it should be? don't know. Do you think it should be painful? Do I think it should be?

Would you go change the Bible? Well, this is the punishment. Yeah. Because he bit the apple. Do you believe in that punishment? Do you think it's justified? Well, she bit the apple. So I'm sorry, should anyone be allowed to bite the apple? Adam didn't bite the apple, so it's like...

He said don't bite the apple! What if she was trying to learn how to kiss better? You ever think about that? She just wanted to kiss Adam real good. She just wanted to kiss her beautiful partner. And then Adam let her take the fall. I think I said this before, we were at this Airbnb in San Diego and the guy's algorithm on the YouTube was just all like,

they're so crazy. right-wing shit. They're always crazy. But we changed it because we just watch a bunch of childbirth vlogs on his algorithm to make sure it got different. The Venn diagram is closer than you think on those two things. I wonder maybe. Yeah.

Like Jordan Peterson videos and like breastfeeding videos on Instagram. Yeah, maybe a lot of people in the middle. Man. I see the line. It's, it's, it's, it's funny how childbirth is so severe and violent, but breasts are so soft and good. Ew. What? That was a gross sentence to listen to. That was one of the worst sentences. What the fuck are you talking about?

That is a weird episode. If we're doing an end of year recap and we're doing the worst most in the yard, that's top 10. Dude, you should be killed. How did I kill? I'm all mixed up today. I got Mogged by a stranger. And there's sour stuff and sour ideas are getting Fucking shot down.

And the press are cool. They're wonderful. Don't try to Don't try to thump through that. Buffers too. I don't know, whatever. I don't care if you got puffers and coming on the biggest nipples

I'm tiny. That's like a slime. No, we've seen Little pepper gum balls. Oh might be a Dimir nipple. You have a dimmer nipple. I think it's glowing. You were trying to deflect. We got the same thing. He has pepperons. You have pepperons.

You were out here. You didn't have a churro when I got here. I saw your pepperons. You can't pick them off either. Don't point and laugh at someone and say they got pepperons. Somebody has to feed my baby. Oh no. Please.

It will die. Sir. That's perfect. That's tiny. That's perfect. That will feed my baby for a year. This is! Oh! That's perfect! That's perfect, that'll feed my baby for a year. This is literally tiny! That's a silver dollar, brother. It's a little floppy.

Don't call it floppy, it's not a chest hole, alright? It's a birth defect. You know what's cool, if you guys ever have a kid, the baby can... ...stop by your chest hole. Really just lazy. Really just a lazy joke We haven't hit him with some chest hole shit in a while. I was trying to expand my chest hole in basketball Oh my god drop a drop in the shoulder you freak you little guy in my hole. Oh my You think I was diving in your old

Here that went into the hole. I didn't dive into that hole once. You were diving that damn hole, bro. Admit it. Aidan, were you diving into the hole or not? I would never dive into his hole. He did. Okay, well he says you are.

I have respect. I have too much respect. Did you get put down like a fucking barnyard animal? For cutie? Yeah. No. You didn't. You didn't get put down like a barnyard animal.

Wait, I didn't. You didn't get put down like a deer and I'm a bear. What you mean in the by you or in that gate? Like, did our team lose? Our team lost. It's all I need to see. It's all I need to hear. It's all I need of whom. Yeah.

So, yeah, we can make it a sour hole. Which one is whole? You want your whole to be sour? What does that even mean? We're going to buy malic acid on the Internet. We're going to fill This hole. You want your hole to be sour? What does that even mean? We're gonna buy malic acid on the internet, we're gonna fill your hole with it, we're gonna use some sort of adhesive that's edible, we're gonna coat the inside of it with all sorts of awesome sour stuff like malic and citric acid. Can we call this a sour episode?

And then he gave you a great answer, that really straightforward, even outlined the process. You don't expect me to know what to say. Come on, slime. I'm not scared in Discord. Oh, come on. I'm not scared. You're not scared. You're being scared.

You're being cruel. I'm not being cruel. I'm being fucking- I'm being school. And you gotta learn. No, you're not. That's what you gotta say to this guy, dude. I just have to ask him, do you like sour stuff?

Yeah, who wants to say? What, are you just screaming at me? Actually, that guy might know what to say. That was a worthy opponent. And he was. See, the thing is, I didn't get into voice comm battles like you did as a young kid. Only way I survived. Because my battles were during text.

So I think I'm better in those situations. During forums. Nick, I would dare to say Nick in the golf game with Alex, teaming to with the Teaming up with the Scott. It's all a master class You guys are very clutch I think I don't have that clutch environment because I just I never did voice comms a lot growing up in gaming I just want to refer to me

What I is where I grew up they wouldn't have lasted in these? Oh, yeah, these lobbies Take your sensitive aspect. You ass back to Google Plus. That's why Faze Banks always knows exactly what to say. Yeah. Oh, exactly what to say. He truly knows the most awesome eloquence of slam pig. Yeah. That was crazy he said that because I said that, remember?

Yeah. I was like, yeah, I knew this guy from New Jersey who said that, never heard it before in my life. Terrible thing to say. And then he tweets it and he calls Grace, and I'm like that's crazy crazy I thought that was just a New Jersey thing no maybe he's from Jersey though. It's from Boston I checked after this and I was like that's fucking nice. He lived in Jersey or New York Didn't face out somewhere bro. That's a fucking crazy that he said that he deleted it to you did he yeah

He faces the fuck up well He faced the fuck down because he deleted it to you did he yeah, he faces the fuck up Well, he faced the fuck down cuz he deleted it sometimes you a little calm a little calm be This phase have a coin they had one is called save the kids say the kids Big problem. That's awesome. They should bring that back Save the kids for to a real Dave to a No, no, no, no, no folks give that one. Do you do you guys will ever watch the the subway takes guy? With yeah, I'm British fellow with a large head. I've never clicked on a video. I haven't shown videos Yeah

The algorithm feeds me him not the train guy. This is a crazy video He's he does like New York subway interviews And they puts the mic on the fucking metro card and he asks them like what's your, you know, basically just what's your hot take. Gays on Dot Dotter. It's pretty much all, it's just what's your hot take. Okay. So, you know. It's so easy. One person on this, one, did the dog thing that we argued about for a while.

One Dogger Nine? No, that, we should dog thing. So the hot take would be no dogs in public space Yeah, basically and I thought about you know what what mine would be if I would ever be on this show Hold on let's set the scene You're on a New York subway. Mm-hmm. You're wearing a shirt that has a tuxedo on it. Okay, and Tuxedo, right? Yeah print of a tuxedo and Shorts that say big big nuts on the ass. Okay.

Okay. Oh, hey, what's up, dude? Hey, yo, hey, and I'm holding my phone to you. He just hasn't seen the show, so it's a different show. Bro, what's your hottest take? Hey, how's... You look fucked up, by the way. I... I'm... Take out your headphones.

Could you... Take out your headphones. I don't want to talk to you. Take out your headphones. Could you- Take out your headphones. I don't want to talk to you. Take out your headphones. I don't have any money for you. Not much of a show. I'm gonna fucking kill you.

I'm gonna fucking kill you. After this fucking train stops in the next- Do you guys want me to move? Sir, I don't know this- You're fine. You're fine. Hey, get off of my train! Sorry, I wanted to be a guy.

I'm the conductor. I know him, he's Italian. Hey, come on, get off of my train! I have a hot take about immigrants. I don't care. Who am I to fuck? I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna conductor. I know him, he's Italian. Hey come on, get off of my train! I have a hot take about immigrants.

I'm gonna fucking kill you when I see you. I got a lot to say about immigration. I'm following you to 47th Avenue, and I'm gonna fucking cut your fucking head off. I killed my wife. Can you come over and help me? Tell me your hot take or I'm gonna fucking kill you. Will you stop bothering me?

About Venezuela. Please sir, I'm gonna tell you my hot take. Will you stop bothering me? About that assualance. Please sir, I'm trying to do my job. By the way, this is exactly how the show goes. What's your hot take? I know your hot take. What? You want a baby to do this? It's your baby take, bro. That you should be allowed to leave a baby outside of a coffee shop for 12 hours.

Because it'll teach them to speak to other babies. Because they'll have less colds. They'll breathe the hot coobs air of the night. Aiden looked up Copenhagen baby parks and apparently they have like little parking lots for babies outside coffee shops while the adults go inside and get coffee and he thinks it's good for the babies. You know what they're doing in there too? Orges. Orges. Yeah, of course. They're smoking weed.

Isn't that fucking gross? They're getting splooged on the top of the door frame Dude, I do it skinny those those women are getting filled out like an application while their little fucking kid is screaming That's one of your harder takes And that's not cool. That is I feel like you much like your explanation of the recent financial events explanation of the recent financial events is a poor, is a poor hyperbolic vey. You run a hit em where it hurts huh? I lose 2.7 you try to make it 2.70001. You like that?

Try to get an extra. Real demure. It's disgusting the way you ask. I get to be a little... Oh you get to be a little... I get to be a little... You're a man over there! Cause you uncovered it you get to be a little... Oh, you're gonna be a little... I'm gonna be a little... Because you uncovered it, you get to be a little demure about it. A little bit?

I wish you didn't uncover it. I wish his whole machine went down, bro. It'd be a bigger bomb. I wish his whole bomb went down. I played League everyday till I perished, bro. Till your head got cut off like everyone does. And I had fucking gold one It's all set a beautiful planet. That would be to be in gold. You're not gonna get what's your hot take? Fucking get there. Don't say shit like that. Yeah, what's your hot take? What's your hot take?

Dude, I think it's that normal. They should ban the sale of Large like trucks and SUVs unless you have a special license I think you should have to get a special license and pay more money to get his next car during yep SUV really SUV my a rav4 you're gonna fucking tax me Nick is rascals is electric what is the fucking hybrid you piece of shit I'll kill you what if you have five kids are you saying for the environment what's like what's the no, because the it. So ever since the introduction of SUVs into like the car market in the U.S., which only happened because there was a big like regulation and then they're

on you're losing them on sedans. And then the car and the car industry started making and marketing more trucks, bigger trucks that allowed them to get through a loophole And that's why trucks are so popular in America, even though nobody uses them for what trucks are for. That's true. This loophole's closed. And then we have skyrocketing numbers of pedestrian deaths in the country And it's because cars are-

You think this is Ford F-150's fault? Maybe it's the fucking pedestrians. Maybe it's the pedestrian not looking left and fucking right. Dumbass. And let the fucking car fucking drive. I think they should ban big SUVs and trucks. If you tax me for my hybrid RAV4, I will come at you. Cars don't kill people.

Do big trucks kill people better? Hmm? For sure. They gotta, yeah. Why? Because it hits you really fast. Or a car. I feel like it would just kill you anyway.

I think it's just force is mass times acceleration and this is bigger. It's not just because of that. You can live a Corolla hitting you at 90, you live you. I think it's just force is mass times acceleration. And this is not just because of that. You can live a Corolla hitting you at 90. You live that. I jump over like speed. You could jump over like speed. You're actually on the right track. Part of the reason is because those cars are lower. So you roll over it. SUVs and trucks are higher.

So you can't roll over the top of the impact. But instead you get run over and you just get run over. The based on vehicle models involved in fatal accidents between 2016 and 2020, the Chevrolet Silverado has 8,777 accidents. The all-new Silverado confirmed death count of 9,000. Dude, you got the gold camel almost on the Silverado. So that's 2200 a year. And if you look at a graph of pedestrian deaths in America over the last like 50 years,

we're at like an all-time high. This is like five a day. Can you keep going down? Four people a day die from a Chevy Silverado. Also they're inefficient, they're space inefficient. Why is Honda killing so many people? I think it's just because it's a popular car. There's a lot of civics out there.

They have 250. The Chevrolet murderer? Wait, hold on, one of these is not like the others. There's a lot of civics out there. They have 250. The Chevrolet Murderer? Wait hold on, one of these is not like the others. Freightliner Cascadia. What's the lowest? Hyundai Elantra. There are people who buy them, kill themselves, because they have a fucking Hyundai Elantra.

You're at the end of your rope if you buy them. That's my hot take. You're at the end of your rope if you buy it in a laundry room. They're killing themselves. That's my hot take. Your hot take is that I should be taxed for your fucking, your wet dream. Wait, it can't be a money thing. You don't have to be taxed. I think you should have to go through, you should have to go through a painful process of acquiring a license that lets you buy a car. I think you should have to go through a certain Sour Olympic event.

Yo. In order to secure a Ford F-150. I think you should have to walk over coals. Okay. Like the office, like gin for the office. Yes, gin. And then you can confess your love. certain sour olympic event no in order to secure a Ford F-150 I think you should have to walk over coals like the office, like gin from the office and then you can confess your love my hot take is everyone should be handed a gun and shown how to use it

at age 18, maybe 17 why? because then they would be better at shooting you're a man and they would have more gun safety do you, do you... What? I think every American should go through a gun training class.

They don't have to walk away with a gun if they don't want, but they should know. I think what he's saying is every American should be prepared to gun down a CEO at any moment. I did not say that. And they should be accurate. I'm saying everyone should have gun training They should know how a gun how to operate a gun how to reload a gun how to dismantle a gun They're scared the safety that well, it's cuz they don't understand it. They fear what they don't they fear it But they kill people guns don't kill people guns don't kill people that's what kill people people kill people

This is a shovel that makes way more sense Dying to guns See ya cuz if there was no person then a gun can't just like a grow legs and kill somebody so That makes way more sense. I was kind of confused why people come dying to guns. Yeah, I know. People kill people. People kill CEOs. Because if there was no person, then a gun can't just like grow legs and kill somebody. So you should think about shit before you use that. Sorry. How's my hot take?

Everyone gets gun training. Subway car. What's your hot take? My hot take? I already said it. I think lip filler needs to go. I think it needs to be outlawed. I'm sorry.

That's the only thing that you would outlaw? I genuinely think. So's the only thing that you Other types of Botox and plastic surgery is fine Plastic fine this beauty scare you. Oh my god is fucked watch this watch this Basketball he wears a headband now and he lets it rise. Okay. Wait, what do you mean? That's okay. When you wear the headband you do this. Yeah, because I just want my hair out of my face. That's why I wear it. We're all seeing it, bro.

We don't like to see it at the basketball court. You're showing off your Botox or something. I don't care, bro. You're showing off and you can't fucking react to anything. I'm not fucking free street side Botox, dude. What's your hot take? No lip filler? Why lip filler?

What is this stuff? Because I think it genuinely makes the human face look worse. I'm sorry. So your big concern is that people are pretty enough in your mind. I think people are doing it because they think it looks good and I think it doesn't. I think it's because it's a hot take.

What the fuck you want from me? It's a hot take. Imagine he's sitting at home. Oh, I'm pretty chill. He's watching Liam on the TV and he's laying down. He sees through his window a fine, Oh, it's the mail woman's Some fine shit you are the beautiful mail. I'm gonna say Liam had fucking lip filler. He and I turned that shit off That's why Liam hasn't been live. Yeah

Clint to Bad they got it together in Mexico, got all fucked up. It's bad. It's bad. That's crazy. I don't think it's that crazy. It's a hot take! Oh, I'm sorry. It is hot take because of maybe how useless it is as a hot take.

What the fuck? What's a different hot take? I think it's an appropriate hot take. It's like,'s it's like like Essentially the same as saying like yeah, no pixie cuts because I think they're ugly hmm that would be a different wouldn't that be a hot Take though that's different Also, by the way, that's different. I've been sploogen over all over the goddamn house You're in sploogen why? Why I've been getting it everywhere on Nick's old grimy bed for one.

But then he just bought a new Helix mattress. I didn't buy it. They sent it to me. I must disclose this. But I would buy it again if I had to because I like it so much. Even though it- because he splooged on all your stuff. He splooged on everything. It was pretty unreasonable. I was impressed at first because I'm like,

how would you cover so much ground in such a little period of time? It's like Splatoon, it's covered everything. He's trying to win the UV light war. Yeah, that's so bright it sounds like. I also need a new mattress because mine's so bad that during League Week Connor wouldn't sleep with me. What? Yeah, cuz he thought the mattress wasn't comfy enough. And I pre-sploozed it like you told me.

Oh, you pre-sploozed it, you should have liked it. I said, baby, it has a coating. About Helix Sleep is they have over 20 mattress options and you can take a quiz to find out what bed works for you. I'm telling you. Don't you, he doesn't have to fuck off because he's telling you the fucking truth right now. You do a quiz, like school would better.

It takes four hours. The school would be like SAT. Does it take a long time? It's actually a long time. No, it doesn't take long at all. Really quick quiz. Does it have questions that I wouldn't know how to answer? You do have to read in it, so it might be a little tough for you.

But for most people, listening, it wouldn't be tough at all, because they can read. Well, if they can read, then read this, bitches. It's helixsleep.com slash the yard for 20% off plus two free pillows. And I like the pillows, they're nice. Well, and you get them for free, which makes it even nicer. And I like the pillows. They're nice. Well, and you get them for free, which makes it even nicer. For all mattress orders, you get two pillows no matter what. That's Helix Sleep Doc.

I splooged on the pillows. You will not get splooged on pillows if you go to helixsleep.com slash the yard. 22% off plus two free pillows for all mattress orders. If you splooged on it, it's of your own volition. Not anyone's else's. I can do it for you. You cannot and will not do it for you. Heelic Sleep. Back to the episode now. Heelic Sleep Massachusetts, do not come splooze.

OK, Nick, what's yours? Hmm. I think there should be no age limit on the president. You want baby president. I'm sorry, you can say. Qualified. The age is they can be young as possible. The minimum should be there. on the president. You want baby president. I'm sorry, you could say qualified. The age, they can be young as possible. The minimum should be there. We have like, cause there's like 11 year old grandmasters.

He wants baby president. What if we have like- You're on that Enders game shit. Yeah. Maybe a 12 year old can lead us. I want some like, I want some like really fucking smart 15 year old. Yeah. Who like doesn't have no crazy ideas.

Who has no like fucking care in the world. Dude. They got no affiliations. I want a 15 year old as a president who Loki has a crush on Amber in class. Mm-hmm. I want to help him through it as his vice president. Is that hot to us? And Loki if Amber's all like yo I think this shit going on overseas is kind of fucked up he would like deploy troops. He would like, deploy troops there. He would press the big red button and he would say like, the minimum 13 or something. What's the minimum? No minimum? No minimum. No eight or something.

Seven year old president. Two? Why would- why start it at fucking two? If not at three. It is crazy, it started at two. I'm saying, so you let a two year old in? If they're qualified. If they get elected. They have to get elected.

Two year olds have to win a debate. Two year olds would to win a debate. Right now. Two year olds would be terrible campaigners. The thing is right now we don't elect based off qualifications. We elect based off of personability. All the best fucking base as hell bro. Fucking tight.

What if these are really fucking like, the Rizler might win right now. Dude the Rizler would be, the Rizler as president would be crazy. But he's not qualified. Says who? Me! He doesn't know geometry. Okay. Is Donald Trump create a crime? There's no way Donald doesn't know geometry! Okay. Is Donald Trump a creatocrat?

There's no way Donald Trump knows his geometry right now. Is geometry present? Dude, I... Like a space force or something. Oh, you don't even know, bro. Would you hear it? Okay. So right here, right now on this podcast, answer this question, you fuck. Would you rather have Donald Trump or the Rizler?

Really? Yes, I would, yeah. That's crazy! I would, I would, I would. You'd rather have Donald Trump as president than the Rizler? Donald Trump. Really? Yes, I would. Yeah. That's crazy. I would. I would. I would. You'd rather have Donald Trump as president than the Rizlar. No, no, no. Hear me out. He's eight.

Hear me out. I don't care. Hear me out. Hear me out. The Rizlar. And it's not because I think he's making great calls. You heard it here first, man. I do think it'd be really funny if, like, the Costco guy was the Attorney General.

I'm using it. He's gonna... He's not gonna do it here. It would be really funny if like the Costco guy was the Attorney General I mean, who's the Attorney General? He's gonna... He's not gonna do it again You're a fucking problematic piece of shit I voted Trump first time We're Costco guys We send drones over Yemeni We're Costco guys

We'll take it all We're Costco guys We keep it in prison longer than they deserve. We're Costco guys we aimed for the hospital Okay, what about like like Faze Rizzler, what does that even mean? No, he's campaigning three hours and then banks says phase Rizzo They see an ounce of mid-campaign. It is low-key lit Low-key no one knew that with fuck Rizzo was Pulled through this time because of banks is endorsement. Yeah, so who president banks oh Yeah, I don't like ever asked to get the haircut and net spend is the first lady

That's a child that's no age anymore first lady I'm sorry when you're no age and president let me you also move on the cat it's true the guy was right behind it was right there how does that spin 17 maybe 18 by now or still 17 thingy 17 though he's been okay let me stop you right there. Banks is president with his child bride, Nets Ben. Sorry, first lady, the first lady, first child bride. Yep, Nets Ben.

And Banks is in charge. Yep, the Rizler is president. Banks is VP, but it's a Dick Cheney Bush situation. Let me say this. How about, sure, no age limit on the president. Thank you. Age limit on the first lady. Fuck. Maybe. limit on the president. Thank you age limit on the first lady And she should have beautiful natural lips is that too much to Honda Civic We'll get it all done. I do feel like we got we've got we built a hell of a platform in these 15 minutes

events company Already a couple okay, we'll get invited to the DNC next year Do take it up man being a politician be so fucking lame It's like except you would end up on for tonight Friday with Connor a politician would be so fucking lame. It sucks. Except you would end up on Fortnite Friday with Connor, which would be cool. That's probably the best endpoint for you. Yeah. I was watching Survivor and they had John Lovitz.

Really? Yeah. And I'm reaping the benefits. That's from The Wedding Singer. Who's John Lovitz? Wait. Kill your self. A different John Lovitz.

Oh. A different John Lovitz? Yeah, John Lovitz from The podcast it's like a very we've had this conversation before. Yeah, okay, very left-wing podcast He's like a former speechwriter for I think Obama or some shit I take it back what I said, but I'll say it later for sure. Okay when I ask who John Lovitz is John Lovitz is a actor comedian was on SNL. Wait is this are you talking about? No, that's the other John Lovitz John Lovitz who is on- John Lovitz, yeah. Anyway comedian, was on SNL. Wait, is this, are you talking about? No, that's the other John Lovitz you should have known about. John Lovitz who? John Lovitz, yeah.

Anyway, he was on like Pod Save America or something? Yes, exactly. You said that. Wait, we said this, we had, oh yeah. Long story short, he was on Survivor. He named the podcast. He got out first and I've now turned right wing. Oh.

It was so embarrassing. What happened, was he fucking? He goes on, he goes, yeah, I wanna podcast. I guess he looked for oat milk. He said he was on a podcast on Survivor. Wait, wait, hold on. You've told you've told this. We've had this exact same conversation.

You've done this. We had that beat for beat. The John. It wasn't even that long ago. John Lovitz interaction. You bringing this up, not knowing the name of the podcast, me guessing the name of the podcast, being correct. You confirming that you telling me to kill myself because I didn't know who other John

Lovitz was yeah and we're looping we're consistent you know what half full half empty Oh love it's first love it oh yeah I got a Z you're dumb as fuck Ludwig John Lovitz fourth picture so wait why did you bring this up again you rewatch survivor or something I watched it last night. Me podcast clots. Even when you're out you still end up in like the intro or whatever and I see him and every time I see him I get fucking mad. Yeah. Is Jeff Probe still in that ho? Yeah, he's killing it. He has a lot of plays. You should play Alisa with AOC She's ranked higher than you That's true. She is. That is true. She is. She paints silver one of the things. What does she play?

She probably like bronze now. I don't believe it. She peaked silver one of those. Yeah, she peaked silver. What did she play? She probably like bronze now. It's a different game. Why? You see? My first viral tweet was about her playing League. Look at Bayoc's op.gg. Let me see that.

Oh my God. Is there a profile public? Let me see that. That's bad. I wonder what her health was. I think she peaked like in the last year. She posted when she hit her peak rank. She posted on Twitter a picture of her league

Oh, that's pretty cool. I would say it's embarrassing, but I post when I hit silver for and shit Yeah, I think I saw this during my small quarantine accomplishment made it to silver three kill yourself Don't say that I peaked silver to I mog her in July 13 You're the same you're playing a mogul you spent a week playing league full time as your job for money and she is a, is one of the busiest, most popular politicians in the world. How are you telling me a Democrat's busy in that house? They don't have control over it. In 2020?

They show up to vote for something that's not going to pass. They're just beating off. Yep. Basically. I think you show up and you vote on the thing that's not gonna pass. Google AOC League rank. You go, you go, nay, and then all the Republicans win and it goes yay, and you go, ah, what are you gonna do? You can Google it and then go images. I'm pretty sure she posted a picture at one point.

Of her league rank? Of like the, the rank up game. If she's only silver three, I'm mog. I'm mog. I wouldn't call it mog. Yeah, I would say you slightly come over the top there. Oh, I'm silver three like 25 hour-ar. I think if she played for a hundred hours, she would go up. No, she wouldn't. No, I wouldn't call it mom. Yeah, I would say you slightly come over the top there. Oh, I'm silver three like 25 hour hour. I think if she played for a hundred hours, she would go up. No, she wouldn't. No, she wouldn't.

And I also went up, guys, in league week. Just to clarify. Yeah, you went up going even in games. So I have better MMR. They pulled the lever, promoted to silver four. That's her silver four. Oh, yeah, that's the best picture I ever seen. Fuck, that is crazy. Yeah, I hit silver two.

We're not too different, you and I. Yeah, so play a loser. No, she's different, you and I. Yeah, so play Luthor. She's different than you. Why? Because she votes on bills. Did it say her name? She votes on bills? I'm just a bill.

I bet she stacks bills. I stacked bills once too. How about this? You either play with AOC or you play with me. AOC, please. Yeah, AOC immediately. One. Because at least there's a novelty of playing with AOC.

Oh, there's no novelty No, there's a novelty Little toy for you Electric I've seen you actually you were Connor was a way better league player than me and you kind of let him down No, he let me down to be clear How because he played dog shit champs. And when he finally just locked in Jax, we won every game. When you talk to that therapist and you were like,

and he was like, do you have any responsibility here? And you're like, I mean, I was in the car. And his ankles were genuinely broken by that quip. You're like, he was driving. I was in the passenger seat. Yeah, I guess I was involved in the crash. He was like, well, you're also a player in the game.

He had to admit like, yes. But your analogy was too good for him. Destroying the marriage counselor with facts and logic. Dude. To prove that you're right. He's trying to walk me down. Connor's mocking me during our conversation, too. You might not know about this. I know you didn't end up going with it, but did you like my idea at all?

Because Yangling was trying to find a marriage counselor last minute to do this. Yeah. And I was like, dude, don't tell Ludwig. Just have Slime play a character, dress up, like nice, like jacket, glasses, and like completely in character be the guy. So Yangling asked me this and I said, here's the thing. I think that would be funny, but that is not what he wants. Ludwig wants the moment of like Kai talking to a fucking therapist for not beating Radon and he wants that to be like the frame. And if I show up, it's just more of like the same.

Yeah, and it's also self-inserting. So I told Ying Ling, no. Yeah, find do your job. Stupid Ying Ling. Wow. Little cat and mouse bear. My suggestion. It was your suggestion. I crashed out on him for not in question. No, you're right. Your reasoning made sense. And he passed it on, you know, on my job. That is Ying Ling.

I didn't go called an actual therapist and they said, sorry, this is just like literally so illegal He found a fake therapist Yeah, so Craigslist guy it needed to be like a life coach And I think Kevin's like a life coach and a therapist okay. He's able to operate as I don't know How the fuck it works, but he was allowed to do it. He was good I don't work great and we won we won that day And I have I have I have played phenomenally and I understand the game now

Why aren't you gold? I understand the game cuz I don't have enough time in Nick you have a hundred hours You played a lot though. I learned after the hundred hours You can learn during the hundred you couldn't further learn your basketball games You played great today not you just want on me girl. Yeah, he's thinking I played great today too. You just scored one on me. You played great today, not? You just scored one on me, girl. Yeah. He's thinking. But I did score in that game. Not on me.

Not on him. Not on Papa. Not on Papa, who taught you everything you know. I think the race has truly began, Ludwig. I think I can beat you. Are you Prod's 4 right now? You're racing to iron. You're racing to iron.

OK. I understand the game. You joke about it. You don't understand it. I do. If I coach you for an hour, you would learn more than you have in two months. That's so disgusting I have so much to teach you So much to teach you so much to teach me so much you don't even know about Volibear does yes, I do Okay, he has his thing that makes it come down from the sky

What happens when that hits you if it hits you the person Volibear it, it gives you shield. If it hits your opponent, they slow and they lose health. Okay, he does, no. And his Q makes him go faster. He runs on all fours like a bear. And I think his W is like an auto attack reset or some shit. This is all true. Yeah. I know how volley bear works. I don't like mobs, dude. You're getting mobbed left and right.

This is the worst day of my life. And you don't build dead man's plate either. Dead man's is a dead build. You're stupid as fuck. You're dumb as fuck. They patched it. They patched it for 14.24. No they didn't! Yes they did! They literally just patched it!

It's that part of this episode. It's an hour deep. Either way, what I'm saying is it's disgusting of you to say, we're on the playground, I'm in fourth grade, you're in fifth grade, and you're saying, The fifth grade is M.O.G. and the fourth grade is Famously. grade and you're saying the fifth graders mago fourth graders famously Easily yes, what do you mean? I had a growth spurt and I've armpit hair and you still look like a boy That's what's happening. Are you a fourth grader still? Yeah, you okay, then you're free for fourth grader I know a government cheese. You don't get jerked off at the ski bus ever. I definitely didn't I could have though

I just wasn't I could I just was't. I could have though. I just wasn't. I could have. I just was scared. I was just scared. I was just scared. I ran away. There's an article today. You read an article?

There's an article from Esports Illustrated. Yeah. About you? Was it a good article? Yeah. About operating shit? Can you look at Esports Illustrated Ludwig? No.

Worse. About League? Yeah. Oh no. Oh. Dipper Lookup. Just the fucking headline made me fucking mad. Is it owned by the same Sports Illustrated?

I don't know. It seemed like it should be. Esports. League of Legends greatest tragedy. Like it. Ludwig versus Platinum. Oh my. It looks like you died. Read the byline. Scroll in. Read the fucking byline. Ludwig, Uggren's League Week. Ludwig has failed to reach Platinum during League Week.

Here's what we know. Like it's a constantly evolving situation. Brain scan tell us that. It is all in there. Ended in tragedy after the streamer failed to progress past silver to the game's platinum rank. There's so many terrorists everywhere. You gotta kill who wrote this, I'm not kidding. Dude, that's crazy. There's so many terrorists everywhere.

Everyone's preying on your downfall. And by the way, 29 is very young still. I still come to my sleep sometimes. Love and Honor is a near 30 year old influencer. Oh, man, you're going to be coming to your sleep when you're 41 and be like, yeah, yeah. I'll be proud of that. My virality.

It should be celebrated. Esports Illustrated. His last name's SteinKamp. Wow. What a terrific audience. Well, why don't we exclusively play to Fiddlesticks It should be celebrated eSports your refrag his last name Stein camp Wow What a terrific alright? Well, why don't we? exclusively played fiddlesticks in a Moo Moo They didn't tell me they didn't talk about my game bitch didn't talk about that. You see the Yumi game, bitch You played Yumi. Yeah, who was your top when you believe that's all right the mouth fight. Yeah, I'm a bad you you

Think maybe we should Restructure our goals and our approach? Maybe we should say, can we make it to gold this season? Oh, sweetheart. Gold's a fucking guarantee. Gold's a lock. Oh, wow. Gold's a lock. In like the next four years? This is so fucked. Sneeze again, bitch. Yeah, sneezeeze again bro. If we took your-

No stop, you listen now. We played a game together. And I put you on my back. My back. The game we won was not Shake Drizzle's back. It was very light load for you. I played great that game. You played somewhat okay. The other team is worse the jungler has like a lot of fun. You are not in the conversation I'm a new player. None of you are in the conversation. I went 22 4 and 17. I'm the only guy in the team

Okay, they're with the crazy life since we live is so much ego and the secret If I was playing link you'd be a higher ranked than me. Smoking cigarettes for sure. Huh? You'd be higher ranked than me. But I am higher. Don't say I would be. I am. I am. I am. But can you I just if we take the data we have access to, we expand it. Gold's looking a little shaky this season.

Jakey, Jakey, I have so much time. I have 27 days of I have 27 days. To get to plat? To get to plat. S! No, well, to get to gold, honestly. Guys, I hate you! You're supposed to be my fucking friends.

I am your ride or die. Every time someone says something mean to me, I fucking say, shut up. That's fucking Ludwig. I can do it. I believe you can, but I think that you're your own worst enemy. OP.GG Ludwig, look it up. Sorry, I didn't mean to fucking make this about League of Legends. OP.GG, here we go. Here we go. Look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, enemy. OP.GG Ludwig, look it up, sorry. I didn't mean to fucking make this about League of Legends. OP.GG, here we go.

Here we go. Look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, look it up, What does the MVP mean? Ace, what does that mean? Ace, what does that mean? MVP, what does that mean? I win every game! Okay, we are. Keep going, keep going. Wait, are you silver two? Okay, don't go too far. Go up a bit, go up a bit. Keep going. Go up a bit.

Yeah, right there. My God, 4.8 CS. I can't believe you played a Yuumi. What was the Pike game? What the fuck happened there? He has one play support. Are you silver two right now? Silver three.

Oh, why does it say, oh. That was my peak. That was your peak. My peak, silver two, why does it say? Oh, my peak. Those are peak. My peak silver to 80. I just feel like when it's tough. I have a question. I have a question. What's when this week? League world is over after the ranking season.

You hit whatever rank you get. God help me. It's platinum platform for platform. You know, Josh had diamond anyway. You know, you have to win a game in plat 2 right? Yeah, because that doesn't count. Yeah, you made Aiden do that. No, I don't think it's different. You have to win a game in plat 2 right?

You have to win a game in plat. You gotta fill the proverbial Dorito. No, there's no Dorito in League. It doesn't matter. It's the spirit of the Dorito. We made him do that. And then I kept playing and then you went then you don't have to win the game. I filled a little red.

You get one. I filled a little red Dorito. You don't need to do that in League. But he needed to do it. For Valorant and yes. Oh you're a shit. So it's different for you. It's a different game.

Rules for thee and nuts for me. Same company, same rank system. The different game. Literally all the same rank. Why? Okay explain why. Because they don't have guns to shoot people As many guns okay when this is all over and maybe you hit plat and then stop

If you total it up, do you think there's more guns in League. There's a lot of gun play. Lucian, Senna, MF, Jinx. There's a few of I guess. And Jinx has two different guns. Gangplank has Duallys. There's a lot. It's a lot of guns. What are you going to fill your life with when this shit is over?

Huh? You're going to start a bakery? He's going to start fucking. He's going to go to the mines and start making money. That's why I'm making money! Bakery's dead? Bakery's dead. Why? Because I gotta make money!

Bakery's gonna make money. Not in the future. Wait, you have a life ahead of you. I know you're getting really old, but- Yeah, I'm already 30. It's basically over soon, but you can still start a bakery. Dude, when you turn 30, it's gonna be so funny. Should I have like a celebration or something?

Yeah. Yeah, a celebration of your life? Should it be like a day for the birth? I wanna put like a hundred- I wanna put like a bunch of candles on your cake, like 30 of them. Like a lot of candles. Like way too or something. Yeah. Yeah celebration of your life. You should really go day for the birth I want to feel like a hundred on a bunch of candles on your cake like 30 of them like a lot of care like way Too many candles to what do you do for a 30th birthday? Like a send-off retire? I shaved my head can we do a Viking funeral, but I'm alive in the boat when you shoot the arrows at it That's cool. That'd be awesome. Yeah, I would love to do alive or laser tag We laser tag. Or laser tag.

We do... I like laser. Paintball? What would my ideal 30th birthday be? Fucking, I don't know, give me a fucking cane and like a all you can eat meal at Chuckie Cheese. We could dress up like old again. But everyone does.

You have to look old. We have to look old to come. Yeah, at an old party. We all become old. That's kind of fire. We all wear our weird old makeup and yellowed teeth. We all sneak pills in the corner. Like, we're not trying to...

Our family's sick. We don't want to know we're sick. We cough up blood, but we don't show anyone. We look at our hands. Like, we constantly look at our hands and see blood. That's the biggest movie joke that I don't think happens in real life. Coughing up blood? It's the... And then there's blood and they're gonna die in two scenes and then you wash your hands

that's why my nosebleed was so scary because In in movies it's like a nosebleed happens and it means the worst thing ever can happen or you're really horny. Yeah Yeah Rhymer in like anime ball Z Well, yeah bleeds and you just saw big boobs master Roshi saw some for a crazy So big old params that is kind of the looney tams anime a wuga is like your nose your eyes getting big in your nose I do that your nose. Oh, yes, you see orni. Yes. Yeah, that's not every time but that's so fun What I you manifested that because that doesn't happen normally the first like you just watch a lot Girl my nose was bleeding what it wasn't even like getting a lot. Yeah, that's

I've never had a nosebleed. I've had I used to have them all the time I'm getting hit in the nose, but I've never had like a organic nose. No, I freaking see a big old pair Coming out I start gushing. That's all right. I got it. I gosh like you're yeah That's kind of like your body's response to that, right? It's just expel. Get out. Get out. Stop it. Awesome boner. But I do. And that's beautiful. That's what I do. Well I do. You didn't do your hair today, huh? Don't say that. He does that a lot. He does that a lot. He tries to hurt you when you don't do your best. He takes a step down. He sees when you don't really try your best

and then he twists it out. He goes, why today really try your best and then you go you point it out He goes why today I played basketball and there's no hair Oh, you play basketball cuz I watch shower and there's an excuse and I scored the game winner There needs to be an excuse for not trying I scored this damn game winner. You played a bunch of games I watched Fortnite and your hair was done. I scored the game winner. You scored a game winner It was the last game is the game winner. It wasn't even in the game that I played against you What's the buzzer beat didn't need to score You know you score a game winner when it's 11 to bro

Cake walked you was that bad? I'm getting better. Yeah, don't say it like that. You know a lot of say that Comparative to league do you guys think you are in basketball in the world Wow all players even children So players Hello, I think pros are pros. Challenger would be like a really good not pro, right? Yeah. Challenger is like the professor. Yeah.

Challenger. Maybe the professor like a retired D1 player, you know, something like that. TJS is like master. All active players. Even all basketball players. All basketball players are like pro and challengers are like retired D1 players. Kids have like kids technically haven't like a lot of kids haven't played ranked yet, but they would have like they're probably iron. Overseas pros or challengers or some shit.

But also anybody that's going to the gym to play pickup. Yep, anyone. All basketball players. Okay, I'm probably silver one. Slime is iron four. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think- It's true. I think,

I think Nick would be iron one. No, I'm bronze. I'm definitely bronze one. You're not bronze. Or four. You're not bronze. I'm bronze four. Brother, you're not.

Hey, we're the same. Put her there. Nope. I am not that close to him. Pound it. Look, there's a gap between iron four and iron one. Like he should be playing normals, not ranked. I will not touch that hand, but you're definitely iron. We're the same.

I would give. I'm shooting your silver one. I'm silver one. What does that make you then boy? I'm silver then. Yeah, probably silver one. What's your LP? You're gonna pick your LP.

You're silver. You might be bronze too. I'm not bron... I actually kill yourself. That would make my day. Maybe silver 4. Maybe silver 4! No. I'm bronze 4.

If he's bronze 4, I'm gold 7. Okay. I didn't say he was bronze 4. It hurtful. I made the all-stars when I was 10. You have to think about how many people play like global. I think I'm silver. I think I'm silver. I think I'm silver. I think I'm the same rank. That's so fun. They're links forever.

You think you're silver one? No, no, I'm the same rank in league as I am in ball. What if in se- what if- what if you ran it up in league? You fucking- You're better at league than you are at basketball. Let him hash this out. No. I'm top 60% in league. Yeah. I think I'm top 60 percent basketball.

This is of people, no, of of no, no, no. People who ball. Anybody who plays basketball right now. I see the current populace of people who play actively. I'm saying I go to Singapore and I'm on them. Why? The maiden. I don't think that's true. Put him down. I will say that you put people from Singapore.

I put the Singaporean people. The couple of times I played pick up in Sweden, I was like. I, you know, I see the difference. I see the difference. Are different servers are bad. And they are really good. So if I'm any silver, which is crazy, I'm Maude. Yeah, maybe maybe you just it's kind of the other thing

I was thinking about, too, is like there was this kid from New Zealand that was just randomly at the court today. We were playing with him or Tom and he was like clearly pretty like pretty good at basketball, but he's just small and he's 17. So it's like a you know, he just can't wait and ask him on a date. He said, bro, I got the spa. You went to Wee Spa. I got the spa.

You went to Wee Spa with me and FaZe Banks? And FaZe Banks are trying to hit it. No, yeah, but I think my size makes me silver. I just picked a better champ. No, you're right. I have a good champ. You have a good champ. My champ's like, like A tier.

Yeah. What if your shins got cut off surgically? Then I'd be a bad champ. Yeah. What if you'd be better than me? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. That if your shins got cut off surgically? And I'd be a bad champ. Yeah. Yeah. What if you'd be better than me? Yeah. Yeah. 100 percent. That'd be so fucking awesome.

Imagine you were like six four. I'm close. Nope. I'm six one right now, I think. Do you think you'd be different if you were six four? I'd probably be less annoying about my height. Yeah, because you're not like there. Yeah, because there would be no need to be annoying about it. You would have just never lied about it on your driver's license.

I think I would have lied still. I enjoy it. But gone lower. Yeah, maybe. Lying is fun. What's the limit at the DMV where you lie to them and they're like, come on. Well, I'm going to find out one day. I think my hot take again, I think everyone should get three lies unpunished in life. But people would lie about their lies. That would be one of the lies.

No, no, no. You can't lie about your lie. That's a rule. There would be like a device that can tell. You're talking some like black mirror shit? Yeah, on some black mirror shit. Like, we're seeing our reflection in the phones type shit. You know what?

And then the president would have to have used his lies already. Ooh, yeah. If you're the president, you have no more lies left. Yeah. I think you should be allowed one men in black memory forget. On yourself? Or on someone else?

On anyone you want. I was gonna say on myself, I would love that. No, you can't use that on yourself. What would you forget? Just one time. Was it when I got my body wax in front of you? No, that was great. You would remember that?

I never want to forget that. Cherish that one. I want to forget this. I want to forget the look of the piece of wax that came out of you I want to forget I can't I can't right now and might want to use it on that cuz he had a different angle He did he had all the ends and I'll mind it for some reason though. He changed it. Yeah, it's like the it's like a hypno toad Well 12 year old president and then what I say no lies

All right, they can't have used his lies already. And they're pretty like low stakes. It's like, oh, I didn't eat cookies. You know, if you use them already, if you're if you're president when you're 12, you get your lies out so fast. Dude, maybe, though, we want the president to have the lies ready so we can use it against other countries. 100 percent. Oh, no, no, because they none of them can lie either.

No, but you know, some other countries are picking guys who can lie and yeah because other countries wouldn't be real about it yeah he has no eyes you guys watched the Ring of Endless Light which you didn't and we did you'd know that dolphins can't lie and that's because they all share they all share they did say and Nisha Barton from the OC said that all dolphins share all information and they don't have secrets so they don't have any secrets and because they don't have secrets they live in utopia. Do you think they have like a sex offender list? No, well they do have sex offenders.

Everyone knows the list. That's what I'm saying, it's like everyone just inherently knows that dolphin is a fucking sex offender. And they just don't go near Cory. Yeah, Cory is like, don't come near me. Cory's so high. And it's a utopia. Unless you're a kid, because I'm Cory, that's what I like. Everyone knows what Cory thinksopia unless you're a kid cuz I'm Cory. That's why I like Everyone knows what Cory's your kid dolphin. Do you look at the sex offenders around you?

I did when I was like younger. I'd use a little the website. What's young? Wait, can you just go on a fucking website? Yeah, they have to register. Yeah It's why I know they have to register But I thought it just listed them out for some reason pedos near you. No No, Pidos are us. It's a person's name, right? John the Pido. Can you look up Check for Pedophiles website woman's name? I can't remember what it was called. Ashley Madison. Angie's List?

No, Angie's List. That's not it. It's for like doing handiwork around the house. No, no, that was that site that you found affairs on. Megan's Law. Dude, you think his Angie's List is so funny. I don't know, you found affairs on. Megan's Law. Dude, you think his Angie's List is so funny. I don't know, you just said something. No, I haven't looked that shit up, bro.

Megan's Law. Yeah, we were just like, if we were just chilling at like 7-Eleven, we'd be like, I wonder if there's any sex offenders around here, and then we'd look it up. Way more hits here than when I was in New Hampshire. Yeah, there's more people. Yeah, there's more people. Yeah, and then you burn their house down. Yeah, was in New Hampshire. Yeah, more people. Yeah, there's more people Yeah, and then you burn your house in New Hampshire. They make him the governor We do have one of the worst presidents all time Franklin Pierce is rough. Yeah, he was historically one of the worst

Yeah, our only New Hampshire one. Wait, what did he do the long story? American history story really? Some presidents weren't good Aidan. I forget what he did so bad but how could they become president I'm surprised Andrew Jackson's on the 20 I had this thought the other day dude he is he's like all-time racist he made the Trail of Tears yeah like putting up numbers racist yeah like a hundred percent like his his body counts insane that's fucked up dude I just learned he made the Indian something act. It was like the Indian repulsion act or something.

It was like the name is like in the name. It's just like in the name. Yeah, the name is not like, it's like the, oh the new housing for an- It's like nah, it's like the Indian get out. The Indian we don't want them here act. That's crazy. And then whoever made the 20 was like,

yeah, ahhh. Andrew. Andrew. We don't want them here act that's cool. And then whoever made the 20 was like yeah I just found out this like I watched this video 30 I'll just remove them that is fucking crazy We could have been Calhoun yeah, and then they threw him on the fucking 20 bro. I and then he had an affair with Peggy JPEG mafia had sex with the president I've now a child bride I learned I was learning some stuff about him in this like long ass video. I watched this week Jackson Yeah, and and this video had a the the beginning intro question of the video is, when do you think the last slave was freed in the US?

And he's like, not like slavery, like in prison, like working people for like below minimum wage and stuff like that. Like literal, like chains, slavery, the way we talk about slavery. So, okay, emancipation was 18, what, like 65 or four or three or some shit? So I'm going to go. 1904. I mean, yeah, it's the question is being asked because it's a surprising answer. So I'm going to say 2001.

Yeah, on the back of that, I'm going to say I'm not releasing him. And it's the modern day. Wow. No, I'll say, uh, 19, uh, 1942. World War II. Dude, you got it. Whoa! 1942.

Did I just banked it? You actually got it. Wait, so that means whoever was that slave was born after slavery was already... Yeah, like it was supposed to be over in the United States of America. Yeah. And obviously, they were born after it's supposed to be over and still. Yeah, so they they had this insane. It's a long video. It's really good. It was from a channel called Knowing Better.

And I really enjoyed their like history videos and stuff. But the explanation of like why this finally came to a head was they were getting away with it in some areas of the country still for long-winded reasons. And in the 1940s, we were getting into World War II, and FDR was in charge, and they were like, what can the enemy use as propaganda against us? Because we're about to go fight the Japanese and the Nazis for doing all these immoral things.

So what can they weaponize against us? And they were like, we still low-key have this big slavery problem going on. And that's why they finally cracked down on it. This is like dead ass when people delete their old tweets when they apply for a new job. That's crazy. It was a PR thing. That's crazy It's a crazy video and then we enslaved the Japanese in camps in our country Archie you're in a different country so you don't get the same you're stuck Archie did you know that we put Japanese people in camps during World War two?

I know I got a video and it was trying the food they served at the camps Jesus Christ. And I was like, oh, okay. I'm not watching that one. It's a very morose video. Because like, what if it's really low-key good? It's not. And you got to be like, oh, this was bad.

But food is kind of fine. You have the video and then he's like, this kind of hits. Well, I'd go out to see with a bit of like sriracha. Oh, man. Well, guys, that's our time. Thank you for tuning into the Yard podcast, which will, you know, again, I think you're done. I think I'm done with it.

You've given up. So you're done with the Yard podcast. That's my last one. To the primo for Aiden's last ever words. Your last ever episode. This set ever. It's probably right now. Haley Welch rugs us and you fucking you run out the Primo for Aiden's last ever words. This is your last ever episode. On this set ever. It's probably right now. Hayley Welch rugs us and you fucking you run out the door while it's a good time to go.

The going gets tough. When the business starts going under. That's not fucking fair. Take your money and run. Type shit. We'll see you in the Primo.