The Yard - Ep. 181 - Aiden's Holiday From Hell...

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

This week, the boys talk about Yinglings battle with Ludwig, a disaster during Aidens holiday, and how Ludwig might reach Platinum in League of Legends... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm noticing just a difference in you when you win or lose. When you lose, you're sad, man. You sounded broken. You sound broken, man. Yeah, bro, it's broken. Yeah, bro. It's a 10 hour stream. Like 13. It's 13. The next day he was alive, I think at 1230. And you were still playing at three in the morning. And you're like, you guys, we went to Far Past.

Like when that guy stole all that money from you, you were like, chucks. And then when when when Riot stole all that money from you you were like Shucks and then when when when the riot stole all that money from you you He's like he's like slouch over. He's like guys. We just stayed up too late I guess tomorrow will be better. I'm just a fucking fucking loser No, I can do it and I can't do it and I I can't do it because no one can do it and I can't do it. And now you're sick. You got yourself sick. And you're wearing literally Mickey's outfit.

Your body is being treated poorly. You're doing atrocious things to it. I'm not taking care of myself. I'm falling apart. And Cutie's sick too. She is sick. You guys eat that Erewan beef. Got all the microbes in it.

It's so expensive for Erewan beef. got all the microbes in it. And also plain leek. It was so expensive for Erewan beef. I know. It's like $30. I know. I don't even get that shit. I don't know. Should we had it? She got it.

And the microbes are in your bones now. Yeah, I'm not healthy. This ain't good for me. No. I knew it was a problem when I got rated by Pirate Software, and then when I ended, I raided by Pirate Software and then when I ended I raided him. Pfft. Look at him raid Pirate Software. Cause he's live again. Send him back to love, my brother.

It's all the same guys, they're just asleep now. Someone who left their computer on all day is like damn Pirate Software's streaming all day. It's crazy. It's like divorced parents of being a stream watcher. They're like go back to moms. Yeah go back to moms, it's crazy. It's like divorced parents of being a stream watcher. Like, go back to moms. Yeah, go back to moms, she loves you. Tell her fucking boyfriend Kenny's an asshole.

If guys, if you're tired of the league talk, this is it. This is finally it. By the end of next week, or by next week's episode. It'll all be gone. We're closing in on the end. The split will be done. Ludwig will maybe, as Zippor likes that, Ludwig will maybe have gotten to plat

based on a.80% chance. Will you return to God at the end of this? I will either return to God and have a big smile on my face, or I'll be bald. So you're really gonna do it? Everyone's- Wait, wait, wait, wait, are you talking like bald like slime or bald like prison break? Like slime. Shave it down to the ass?

To the ass. Oh, can I do it? Yeah. I'm gonna shave him down to the ass! That's the deal? That's the deal, Oh, can I do it? Yeah. I'm going to shave him down to the ass. That's the deal. That's the deal. I hit platter, I shaved bald.

Was that always the deal? Yeah, he said it like what? Like the week and a half ago? Why did you do it to like motivate yourself because your life sucks when you're bald on stream because no one watches you and you look bad? Yeah, that was the most hurtful comment was, hey, I've already hated watching the league

era and now if you're bald, I'm really not watching. I get not liking what I do, but that's just what I look like. Slime was streaming it and he was just like, if he goes bald, people watch him less. It's true. Yeah, he's done the numbers on the, you know he's a numbers guy. Yeah. He checks the OP Jjiggy of his twitch stream and he's like Water red cuz I'm bald. I think it'd be a new beginning. I think it's like starting fresh

Could I have done it all if I was bald? This was a this you asked him this question a long time ago Didn't you? Yeah, I think he's addressed it a couple times. See the 2025 numbers Hey if I don't hit it. Yeah, right. No, yeah, it'll be awesome. Surely the journey does not continue. What does Cutie think? If you're all down to the ass, is she kind of like maybe on, maybe sleep on the couch? It comes back fast, man.

She probably won't like how it looks, but like I don't think she would make me sleep on the couch. Because like imagine. Because you're already sleeping on the couch. No, no, I'm not. She wouldn wouldn't have to like wouldn't extend the time lose your hair and it's like she would you know she loves me for me but it's a useful choice there's like one other reason you would be sure the other reason that's like one other reason otherwise you're voluntarily doing. What's the third reason? Yeah alopecia? No, that was a reason

Yeah, you're you're you're a fucking you're being thrown around like a little rag doll by riot games No, I haven't left my house except one time I went to a hockey game on Saturday Polite he was part of my Christmas He got his hockey tickets is my first ever hockey game on Saturday. We shaked your little hockey game. Polite, he was part of my Christmas present. Oh, good. He got us hockey tickets. It was my first ever hockey game. First time leaving the house, I was almost pouty doing it. Yeah, and you're like, so that's the red side

and that's the blue side. And he's like very good. Like, when do they clear camp? They're so close to the Nexus, they're going to end. Like nobody, it's going gonna be like that all game. I'm gonna ask you guys a question, I don't think you know the answer. How long do you think a hockey player is out before they get subbed? Out before they get subbed out?

I don't know. How long do you think they play before they're subbed out? I don't have a frame of reference for hockey games. Maybe like 10 minutes? 4 hours? A minute. They're on the ice for a minute? They're on the ice for one minute and then they get subbed. of reference for hockey games. Maybe like 10 minutes. I was gonna say like 10 minutes. Four hours. A minute. They're on the ice for a minute?

They're on the ice for one minute and then they get subbed. What's the idea there? It's just everyone's the highest amount of energy they can be. Oh. It is literally them skating as hard as they can. And they do like fast subs. They don't like, they're not like stop. Oh it's like wallets happening.

Yeah, yeah. They literally just hop on hop out. I'm throwing in an extra guy. That happens a lot and they get punished really well Yeah, if you accidentally put on an extra guy you're cheating Yeah, it would suck if you're the other team and there's another guy and just roided up He just said a line of shard in the fucking penalty box and you're like, where the fuck is that guy? That's the power play. That's the power play. The power play is cool. It is cool. We invented that we're getting invented that

Mario hockey in Can you do it like Mario and Sonic? Yeah, it's like a Mario Party minigame. Yeah, that's as far as they got with that We cool if they made like like NHL Street. I don't know knows about that. But like hockey. Yeah, dude They put Mario in any NBA Street that. But like hockey. Yeah, dude, they put Mario in any NBA street. They did do that. They got basketball. That was fire. That was cool. Yeah, dude. I think if Japan like developed hockey, they'd be really good at it.

No, they're not good at sports. What? Japan is not good at sports. Let me introduce you to a young man. You know, like American sports. Otani. No, I mean like sports sports. Shohei is the goat. And I'm not saying Japanese people can't be good at sports. That's what it sounded like.

No, I'm saying on average. They're awesome at rock climbing. They're good at baseball. They're good at baseball. They're the best at rock climbing. You said Japan sucks at sports, which is crazy. You like it there. Double down.

Yeah, double down. All right. Double down. Let's go, dude. I think they got a couple. They got a couple. They got a couple. How a couple they got a couple How many sports would they have to be good at for you to be wrong? Mmm seven. They were really good women's soccer team

Yeah, oh you don't care about that one Just not a big fan of soccer You guys also a nice guy in the fucking subreddit. Aiden fucking treats me like he teaches me how to be confident. He talks to Uber drivers. He tells you something about Aiden that pisses me the damn off. Wait, Reddit's saying that Aiden taught them how to be confident? Yeah, it happens all the time. If you had to be confident with a podcast, you had to kill yourself.

My brother. And you're right, nice guy Aiden here. Don't do that. yourself. Nice guy. Aiden here. Don't do that. But he's a, he's a good dude. He, I tell him this is before, before we all leave for like the holidays and shit. He's like, I'm going to go to Mexico city with my girlfriend. And I say, I want to come.

I want to come to Mexico city with your girlfriend. And then you know what he does? What's that? He just, he did something I've never seen Aiden do before. He just goes, Oh? Which means, I don't want you to come.

Which is crazy. Which is crazy. You hated it too. You couldn't even say it to my fucking face. What's funnier is that, I wanted to go to Mexico. Before you left, he brought this up and he went, I'm going to get to go. Like, I'm going to go. Like, I'm going to bring this up to him again. I'm going to go.

It's like he just chose Ludwig to be his best man. You're like, let me be your best man. That's not it at all. He's like, ah, you're like, you can't even say it to my face. You can't even say it to my face. I wanted to go with them. It's like having two best men. It's funny because he invites you to so much and you say no to everything and The one thing he doesn't want you to go to you're all of a sudden like I want to go I wanted to go Hong Kong with my family for Christmas. I know I know And for that he's like and then Mexico

Because it's awkward around his dad what? No, it is. It is. I know. Don't say why. Don't say why. We can't say why, but it is awkward. So I thought you guys were good. It's uncomfortable with Corwin.

It's uncomfortable. It shouldn't be. Well, for guys like you, it's not. Yeah. That's the difference. No, no. For men, like if you guys had the same reason, it'd be super strange. It would be bad if we had the same reason. That be super bad We have the same reason that'd be weird

So I want to go to fucking Mexico with him for it with his girlfriend for New Year's and he's fucking He's just huh, and then I just you know and you know what I did you know I did I was like guess he doesn't want me to go yeah, I don't I did it because I have to go eat Well student want you to go my girlfriend. What the fuck are you getting me far? She wanted it as she wanted a vacation and a date with me. I'm messaging her. You know why I know this? Wait, wait. What's that lawyer game?

Phoenix Wright? Phoenix Wright noise. Because Aidan was actually second choice. I was second strength. To my girlfriend What done done done? so argument It's true. And so and so sorry goes for your second choice And so you don't bring another second stringer along with you listen to me

We could have gone and we could have made it fucking miserable for your girlfriend for not picking you I made it miserable for my girlfriend. We could have tagged in. No, dude, you know what we should have done? We should have gone and just like behind them walked everywhere they go. I've just been really loud. Yeah. Oh, we're having fun too. Oh, you can't stop us from coming. I'm not technically with you.

I need to tell you guys this. I need to tell you guys this before she tells you guys this. So what is happening? What happened while I was there? While I was there, I wake up on like the second night. I've got a really bad tummy ache. It wakes me. It's so bad. It wakes me up, which is a pretty bad. Yeah. You know, it's pretty bad.

The next day I can tell I can tell I need to shit. It needs to happen at some point. But I keep going to the bathroom. It's not coming out dry and I'm constipated and my stomach hurts This is awful. And then and then somewhere somewhere around Somewhere around 3 p.m. That day I hit the bathroom and it starts coming out and it's the worst you've ever seen It's a water fountain. And you're screaming and it's on there. Brunting and it's it flows out.

It's like the gates have been released. And, you know, and I think I'm done. 20 minutes later, it's queuing up again. Yeah. Hey, me and you both. For the remainder of the day and then into the entire next day, every 20 minutes. Oh my God. I have to shit. I have to shit of a waterfall. That's what you get white baby. It is so romantic. It's horrifying. I am shitting so often and wiping

so much that my asshole stings from being rubbed raw That's class And my girlfriend bought me wet wipes at a convenience store You can't flush those So, can I not? You didn't have to tell us all that Did you flush them? Are you not supposed to?

In a Mexican toilet you flush that No, no, a lot of them are flushable now No, that's a lie So we're walking around If it says flushable, they're still not flushable. He needs to know this. Wait, really? Yeah. Why would they write the word? Dude, I feel even worse now.

Yeah. Because we were like, you know, when you do the thing, it's like, I don't want to come in and use the bathroom without like getting something, right? So the first like couple cafes of the day, you know, we buy stuff. Dude, you're like sweating just like, hey, by the way, don't they sell it by you? But we bought too many cafes, and like too many coffees and pastries, like I can't be more caffeinated.

I'm trying to stay hydrated. This is dumb. We saw one bathroom. Interrupting like the itinerary that my girlfriends had planned for a month for my like baño tourism. And I mean, the last dude, we're like, and we're getting closer and closer to our flight that

evening. Keep in mind at this point, I've literally been shitting for over 24 hours. That's awesome. And it is so awful. And I walk in, I'm desperate. I've tried to hold this one. And I find the only place is this tiny cafe where the space is like the size of the set and at the back is a restroom but instead of being like a separate room it's just a little like hole in the wall like with like a sliding door that's like open at the top and the bottom and it's open to the cafe where the staff is. What? Dinner and a show. I asked them can I use your back? I have no choice. I went and looked around first

and I like ran back to this one because it was the only one I could see. And I, because I've been holding it, it's worse. So I'm in the bathroom, but they can definitely hear in the cafe. The woman is like pressing juice, listening to like in the bathroom. And you're going, oh.

And then I'm trying to. And my ball stings. I take out my wet wipes and you hear the packaging like opening and stuff like that. And then and then your crinkling diaper and then. It gets worse. The the the the the worst, the worst part of this is. OK, after I get out, after I get out of this bathroom, I look at this poor teenage boy and the woman working there in the eyes,

and they don't look happy, and I just say, you know, Oslo Llewago. You said Oslo Llewago? Like your Arnold Schwarzenegger? And I walk out, and I'm so lelenga. Like your Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I had to walk out. And I'm so ashamed of what's happened. But I still have to go. But we have this long walk to a museum.

And I'm so embarrassed by what's just happened. I don't want to ask another bathroom. And have this happen again. Because it's been happening all day. And you're clogging every toilet on the way with your wet wipes. With the wet wipes. Dude that cafe had to fucking plunge your wet wipes out. Your brown wet wipes.

That makes me feel even worse. Is going Osso Llewego El Diesel Derrick. So we have to walk 45 minutes to the to the museum we're going to and on the way it's coming back and I'm like fuck I just I cannot do this again I cannot go into another cafe and not worry sorry it's crazy that you guys are still out yeah why don't you just go back to the host we already spent half of the previous day inside and it's like our trip was only four days at a certain point you call it you're sick, I feel like at that point she's got to be like, you know what I get it

Trail of poop behind you for the police to find you later. Yeah Maybe maybe if I I'm we're like the American has been here, huh? That's your Mexican Maybe, maybe if I, I'm, I'm, I'm, we're like, we're 15, 15, 20. Ah, the American shit has been here, huh? 15, 20. That's your Mexican. Yeah, that's my Mexican cop. That was, that was crazy. He's an Atlantic Mexican cop. Yeah, he came, he came from like, I don't know, Wisconsin.

That's like an always sunny weather. He's like, yeah, do a Brazilian accent. And he's like, okay, only. Yeah. Yeah. Like, uh, 15, 20 minutes into the walk, I'm like, there's a lot of gas going on along with this. Oof. You're stinking hot.

Alright, I can do this. I'm an adult. I can min-max my sphincter control. Bro shits himself. And get a little fart out. You shit yourself in the Mexico City fucking walkways. I don't succeed. Oh!

I just... You shit your I just I just In the previous 15 years before that yeah the white the whiteboard still has the other numbers like still ghostly Yeah, as you erase it. It's been zero days He didn't shit himself shit myself in front of your girlfriend who you love and she doesn't realize cuz it's you know It's a tiny amount, but I can feel it The cop is floating faster war wicks coming boy we make it to the museum finally warwick coming, the nocturnal is the museum of anthropology

oh dude you could put a fucking fossil in your ass so i grab the bones of montezuma and put it in my asshole and i stop him with the curse that he put upon me. And most of it's just replicas so it's chill if he's grabbing it. I'm drinking more water. I'm drinking it out of the sink in the bathroom. The craziest part of this story is him going, yeah so like I keep shitting so I go to cafes and drink coffee. No, I only drink...

That's a good answer. And then the morning. But that didn't help. So like I keep shitting so I go to cafes and drink coffee But that didn't help yeah, I'm chugging like Gatorade Okay, let me ask you a question did you turn to the woman you love in this planet Earth and did you say hey? Listen, I shit my pants. I did how'd you how'd you deliver it? I was like, wait, let's roleplay. Oh my god It's been so nice to be here Wait, wait, wait, let's role play. Oh my God. I got Poole in my ass. Oh, you know what my biggest ick is? He's a guy with Poole in his butt. Are you me? Are you me? It's been so nice to be here in Mexico. I got Poole in my ass. I'm glad Slime's not here.

And it's so nice to be here. Finally, we've got, you had that embarrassing moment where everyone watched you through a little window poop and that young boy, you said a very informal goodbye to him for some reason. Everybody says that. And it's just so nice to be here. Isn't it, Aiden?

Yeah. Zipper 3, who I call that all the time. I OK, so I just I just tried. You do you remember when I tried to fart a while ago? I hate this. Is this really how it went? Just it happened. It happened. I pooped myself again. Aw. Man.

Well she really likes babies. That's what I said! Maybe you pooping yourself so much is like a turn on. That's what I said, I said you change babies, you change babies at your job all day. Dude, Aiden laying down on the bed with like baby powder on his desk. I needed it so bad!

Did she get you baby powder? And she's like, wow, this one's a lot. Good job, Aiden. I was like baby powder on his ass. I needed it so bad! Did she get you baby powder? And she was like, wow, this one's a lot. Good job, Aiden. Dude, that's gross. There's some couples that do shit like that. But that's the thing, we went on the road, we went on the... At least I could have gotten out of this.

We talked about this on the podcast a while ago. He puts his hands up. We talked about this on the podcast a while ago, when we went on the road trip, and we talked about, well, if I ever shit myself in public, you would you help me would you hose me down? That's right yeah I hose you down on a Tokyo train. It's kind of ironic that this has happened twice since that conversation. It's ironic it's pathetic. It's ironic really funny. It's funny and cool that there's like a tie in.

Both times it's happened I've been like you need to hose me down. Did you finish the tour? So we went we go to the museum. But before before we actually go in. I I go to the bathroom in there, which is like there's so many people at this museum and I need to fuck it. I need to shit again. And the bathrooms are packed.

But one of the stalls is OK. Stall for stalls, one out of order rest used. Wait, go in the first one seat has no toilet seat. It's a giant seat. But it's like if I sit on this, I'm I'm going to fall in it. No, you got to squat. You got to balance. I'm like, not I'm not big enough to like. But I have to I have like a bag on my arm

with the wet wipes and then I, I'm, the guy to my right gets out of the other stall. I'm like, perfect, don't even have to deal with this. Let me just switch stalls real quick. Go into that one, close the door, realize door does not close. One to my left, occupied, one to my right, occupied. This is just a rub like.

He's running around like soup. I have to open the shit, I have to shit, open the wet wipes at the same time and hold the door closed. So I have to, I'm wiping, holding the door and like trying to shave my brains out. Don't do that. So I'm doing this.

I'm gonna front and back at the same damn time. So I'm doing this. I'm gonna front and back in this goddamn time. As soon as I grabbed the door, because I looked down and there's poop all along the bottom wall of the door. So I'm like, my hand is just next to somebody else's shit on the wall while I'm pooping. This museum, this is insane because the museum's really nice.

It's like, come to Mexico. Viva la Mexico. And I'm holding like bag on my head, like trying to hold it over my shoulder, reach in, wipe my ass. And then that was thank God because the flight was in like three hours. And I'm so worried that I'm going to have to keep doing this on my flight home because I'm in a window seat and the flights full.

That's the last shit of seat and the flight's full. That's the last shit of the day. Wow. And it's over. But it was the worst. Like, it was... This has never happened to me on a trip before. It was the worst way to spend it. It's just having to like pump out a waterfall every 20 minutes.

I've had that same kind of stomach bug and the worst part is when you... Your body's like, all right, we're shitting now, but there's no shit. But you still have to sit and do the muscle like your muscles have to do it but nothing comes out dude it's like when you've run out of stuff to throw up and it's just stomach acid. It's tough man. At least you didn't throw up. Would you recommend Mexico City? I actually would. I actually would. What do you think did it? What do you think it was? Water?

He was food. I have no idea. I didn't. Is that a myth? I said it's real. So I talked to one of my friends who's been there like more times and I'm like, I didn't drink the water like I didn't. I that's the big warning you get is like, do not drink tap water. And he's like, yeah, but they they cook with the water. Like the water is going to be at a bunch of restaurants depending on where you're eating.

Like people are just going to use that and it happens. Like and what did you say Montezuma's revenge? Yeah, it was like I didn't know this thing had like a term. Oh, you didn't hear that? No. Yeah, this is the thing. And when I was a kid, I just I gravely misunderstood what it was. And I was I was in Mexico and I got like, I got like hit by like a wave of water

and I thought I had it. Cause I got hit by salt water. Oh, you knew it was in water. Yeah, I thought it was just in water that was there. And I was like, I have it now. It's just, mom, I can't do it. The city, it was really cool though. I think it's, in a a way I had this thought that this is what LA could be like.

It's like LA... It's like L.C. Covered in my poop. Liberal. Covered in my poop. There was, unfortunately, there were some neighborhoods where much like LA, there was a lot of poop and trash on the ground. Okay. But there's a lot of really nice...

Let's talk about the elephant in the room. There was a lot of really nice neighborhoods. the ground. OK. Well, let's talk about let's talk about the elephant in the room. There was a lot of really nice favorites where there's some dogs in the coffee shops, some. There were so many dogs in Mexico City in the coffee shop. Also, they have been seeking. They've been seeking their revenge. I don't know what is happening to me. Oh, no.

I I'm not getting back to back days of going into coffee shops, multiple dogs coming in and barking and back to, and then same day, same day, unheard of levels of dog shit outside of my apartment. And then, and then same day, evening, I'm walking by, somebody's dog just jumps out and tries to nip me while I'm walking by.

You know how dogs can like, they lay down before earthquakes? They do this for people too, man. They know you, dude. While I'm walking by. Dogs can like they laid out before earthquakes. Yeah, they do this for people too, man. They know you. They don't have a bad vibe. I know. You're an op. You're an op for the dogs. They don't lose his spread.

You're a dog op. And finally, you're getting what's coming to you. You're a cat, bro. Dude, you think you're a baby now? Wait till you see a pit bull, bro. Mm hmm. You're going to eat you up for lunch. They killed a four year old last week.

And they'll do it again. They'll do it again. I can fight any dog. I was lociating and piled. How about fighting dogs? No, I just went to a coffee shop and there's just way too many dogs. Too many dogs? For the first time, I thought this is too many.

You see that video on our subreddit of someone brought their pig into like a grocery store and it's just pissing everywhere. And the lady is just holding it by, first of all, she has a pig on a leash. It's like the scenario we made up has happened somewhere. She has a pig on a leash and it's pissing and she's tugging the leash so that it's taut, but she's not pulling it hard enough

to get the pig out across the door, which is, it's standing on the door line. It's like 200 pounds. Dude, it's small. No, it's a tiny pig. It's like a tiny pig. That's why it's standing on the door line 200 pounds like dude no it's a tiny it's like a tiny pig she could just pull it so it's pissing outside yes you have to yank it but it's pissing on the mat it's just on the floor it's accumulating like water it's dude shower in the office and how the water like leaks out I'm ready look for this it's just dude it's so much pee it like maybe

nauseous looking it was it's dude it's It's so much pee it like maybe nauseous looking at it It's dude. It's like a lot of pee. It's really yellow, too Yeah, it's extremely yellow even though it's outside if you see the season 3 ending of Atlanta That's how long they pee it dude. We're so we're returning to Returning to our roots here We've spent the past like half hour talking about piss poop and pee and League of Legends and League of Legends It's kind of all the above. I feel obligated to say that you know Contrary to shitty myself the entire time Mexico City was pretty sweet is like every it's like LA That's why I wanted to go because I want to hang out with you. Yeah, and your girlfriend

You know what you might want it. you have gone? I'm not being weird. No, because you're being an asshole. Would you have gone in a hot air balloon? No. Dude, that's scary as fuck. I don't know if I would get in a hot air balloon. We booked a hot air balloon tour. Did you shit your pants in the hot air balloon?

No, that was that was the first. Thank God that was the first day. We booked the tour and they pick you up and drive you like an hour outside of the city, which is cool. Because you see like you see all these we we just lost altitude did anyone pick anything up from like his full diaper growing it hits a schoolhouse like a missile bro dude everybody's backyards are like open there too. Just like... Acting soil to the crops. It freezes in the air and it turns into a fucking...

That's what I thought would happen when you shit on a plane. You know those videos where like my life in Yakutsk Russia, negative 50 degrees Celsius, and then they like throw the water in the air? Yeah, Insta-freezes. Yeah. Oh, poop shards. Do you recommend hot air balloon rides? Yeah, I... Okay, maybe you can make balloon rides. Yeah, I OK.

Maybe you can make a judgment call based based off of this. I enjoyed it. But what we pulled up, we go on this nice drive outside the city, which is cool because you see all the outside neighborhoods that aren't in like the central area, which is really, really interesting. As we pulled around, there's a bunch of like people who are clearly staff members in like vests. And where we just got there I've never really thought about how a hot air balloon

lands I just kind of assumed it comes straight down all these guys they're like sprinting around our car and they're looking up and they look worried which I'm like holy shit shit. What's happening? What's happening? Tragedy. We pull into the parking lot and our driver is parking the car, but the guys are like yelling and running around our vehicle

and looking up above us like, no, no, no, no. And then all that, I look up out the window and see a basket filled with way too many people, like 20 people in a basket coming towards us in the car. And there are power lines in front of us. And it's coming really fast. And all the guys are screaming. And I couldn't I'm frozen because I don't know what's happening.

I think I'm going to be in like a hot air balloon crash. And I'm it's coming in so fast and so low. I'm like, dude, it might hit the power line. It's good. It might hit us. And then as it passes over really low, this giant smash hits the top of the car. And I duck and our drivers like, what the fuck? The way they stop it in emergency scenarios

is they drop out this gigantic slab of rope and they had dropped it on top of the car. And then what happens is all of the people working and helping with the landing, which will be like five to eight people, will grab the ropes and pull the balloon back. But the first couple people who grab it aren't enough to pull it, so they get pulled into the air.

And then I'm watching them get pulled up as the guys behind them grab it and pull down. And then they slowly reel it in. And then eventually they get it down. I get why we moved on. And then we should keep moving on from hot air balloons I was like, yeah, there's just better ways to do it I wouldn't I wouldn't go on cuz I don't want to die in a way that people have to like try not to laugh when

They hear about oh god, like how do you die? Boys let me set a scene for you. Okay. Okay. We're in my room. Oh Four of us. Okay. What are we? I'm I I'll imagine it's a train of back rubs. There's no helix sleep mattress at all We're on the floor. Wow Yeah, right. I'm out. I'm out. I got pulled out. Yeah, no helix sleep. That doesn't sound good What am I sitting on? What are you sitting on? You're sitting on the ground Giving you a back rub. Sounds uncomfortable. No, no, cuz it's not really about the back room for me It's about the comfort of the environment. I'm in. Yeah, I don't want to sleep on the ground. But I'm giving you a back rub. Sounds uncomfortable. No. No. Because it's not really about the back rub for me. It's about the comfort of the environment I'm in.

Yeah, I don't want to sleep on the floor. I want to sleep on an extremely comfortable mattress. Are you in the front? How about we spin this? Let me set a scene for you guys. OK. OK. All four of us in Aslan's bedroom.

We're sitting on one of the 20 different unique Helix sleep mattresses. Oh my god, which one? I don't know. We're doing a back-rib trade. We're not really focused on that. We did a sleep quiz and we picked the one that was best for us, but we're really focused

on the back-ribs right now. The foamless collectively? Yeah, and it's getting- Oh, yeah, I guess it's got memory foam and cooling features. It's getting a bit hot, so we're cooling down from the cooling features. I bet I have sleep zones, oh my god, who cares?

Is there all sorts of awesome oils? There's a lot of awesome oils, and also Dream Pillow's slime starts to shit himself. Slime's shit, oh, I'm pulled out. It starts sh shit himself. Slime is shit- oh I'm pulled out. Slime starts shitting himself. I'm smelling it. I'm pooping! I'm pooping guys!

Not on the Helix Sleep mattress! I'm shitting! Stop shitting on my affordable nice mattress! I'm shitting! Why would you do that? Please! Alright well- I feel like the sleep zones would give him such a comfortable sleep that he would have

normal bowel movements. I'm shitting so much! No... Yeah, some of us are meant for the floor, most of us are meant for a mattress. So you get your Helix Sleep mattress, go to helixsleep.com slash a yard, 25% off site wide and two free dream pillows with a mattress purchase. Nothing on them, no stains. No stains, they don't come stained. I thought mine would.

You thought you used wood. Well you like a little stained pillow. And they didn't... Fresh come stained. I thought mine would. You thought you used wood. Well, you like a little stained pillow. Fresh as hell. I had to add my stain. I had to add my stain. Add your own stains to all the things you can get at Helixsleep.com slash Yard for 25% off site wide.

Two free dream pillows with a mattress purchase. I mean, that's enough to give you a Wikipedia entry. Yeah, well, there's got to be like a list of people who have died to hot air I went I went like you remember when we jumped out of the pole. He must have shit himself when he died I looked up the one in five hundred, you know, what's the stats? Yeah on this. What's the math and It wouldn't I didn't get a stat But I could only find like two people who died in like the last five years at this That's not a lot. That's not a lot of the 17 guys who did it. That's that's enough to get on.

And all 17 guys were in the one that came in right when we got there. But we we ended up doing it and it was a list of eight 1785. Dude, we've been doing this shit. But our guy was the most recent new pilot of blimp. What do you mean? Can you pilot January 2024? Yeah. March 2024. Famously, you can. You can. Famously. I thought they were just big balloons

that go up like billboards. The Hindenburg went from Europe to America. That was the goal. Yeah. Imagine if you want to if you want to end your shit, right? And you do it by jumping out of a hot air balloon. That's so recent. Yeah, you get a Wikipedia entry for sure. This would be a tight way to go because they flew over these old pyramids.

I think it's called the Othekon. Really? Yeah, they call pyramids in Mexico. Oh, that's like the famous pyramid of the sun pyramid. In Mexico, they're ziggurats. Aren't they called ziggurats? White boy. White boy don't know shit. At the anthropologist. Triangular items. I might not. They're ziggurats aren't they called ziggurats white boy. So what's the answer?

Triangular items I might not some of us are really in there here. Don't I make poota? Okay, why would you What I Saw a fight happen at the hockey game. No wait wait then the players are amongst nice people. Yeah, wait Playing along it just it was there's there's a dude in the front row and he's and he's making some noise. I don't know why. He's a little rowdy. He's like a gibbon.

He's like he's like Gibbon. And they get a little altercation. Two guys. Other guy, rich guy. Season ticket front row. Looks like he's got plastic surgery. Gray hairline walks over, tries to break it up because he likes watching the game a lot. And then he's like, he's like he's got plastic surgery, gray hairline, walks over, tries to break it up because he likes watching the game a lot.

And then he's like, he's like, you gotta, you gotta stop. Hey fellas, hey fellas, hey fellas. Roddy guy goes, what are you gonna do about it? Grabs him by the shirt, punches him twice in the face, knocks him down. Probably hockey players. He probably was a hockey player at some point. That guy. They love grabbing that shirt because their feet are always like this.

When they fight. They got a whole lot of something. He probably was a hockey player at some point. That guy... They love grabbing that shirt because their feet are always like this. When they fight. They gotta hold on to something. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Everybody cheered. What? And then when they were talking about kicking out the guy who punched him, everyone went no. And they were just like alright. He was the hero. Dude how? I don't know.

That's pretty cool. It's cause you know what, it's like two guys that are fighting and like you know at school or something. It's like let them fight, let them fight and go and kill each other. They're gonna be best friends after this. Just go and let them fight. Polite to go investigate. What I found out is that people are usually morally against, like, you know,

hurt and violence, violence. Yeah. Unless the person who gets hurt is cringe. Was that he was just that cringe. He was that cringe. He was wearing a jersey from the other team. No, it was he was he was wearing a white shirt because it got ripped a lot. So you're you're able to say that this guy is so visibly cringe. He's visibly cringe. It's a Luigi situation Yeah, not the Mario brother. No, no, right the guy who's in jail right now. Yes the hero

Well, yeah, cuz if he shot Timothy Chow may square in the jaw. He did it But because it wasn't Timothy Chow may he didn't do it Well, or yeah, he did it and I think most people think he did. Yeah Yeah, but it's a big crowd of like I don't know if he did it There's a massive crowd of he didn't do it not because they don't think he didn't do it But because they don't want it to be charged. Oh, yeah, so they're like, yeah It's actually they're looking for any way for him to like get off Which is which is just if you really think he didn't do it,

it's just being so attracted to an Italian man that you think he's incapable of crying. He didn't even like, he didn't do that ass picture. You're like Peach's brain works. You're going like Ted Bundy's wife mode. She's like, no, he's still my husband. Yeah, that's my man. Is that what she did?

Yeah, she did. They like, they fucked while he was in jail The carnivore guy and they like can see another money head Bundy In jail do the bars How the fuck does Ted Bundy get a conjugal visit because he's white That's the answer that what you want me to say Love me to say it is it now now let's hold up a mirror to this society. Dude, your story reminded me one time I ruined a Dunkin Donuts bathroom.

I was on a road trip from like New York to Boston and I got a bloody nose in the car so I pulled over and I went inside and I didn't order anything. I went straight to the bathroom. Yep. And I'd been to the Dunk so I knew the code. That's great. Dude. And I'd been to the dunk, so I knew the code. That's great, dude. And I'm in there and I'm in there a while because it's flowing.

The nose. The nose is flowing. Oh, different hole. And I'm and I'm trying to get it all down in the toilet, but I can't. It's driven. It looks like a fucking blood bath. It does. It looks bad. I got in a fight and I try to clean it up, but there's not a lot of cleaning products in a Dunkin Donuts bathroom. In general. And I just left.

I left it. I was maybe 19. I left that shit a murder scene. Dude. I still think about those people. So boring. Don't you fucking die in here! At least my shit was flushed. No, mine was evil blood. That I tried.

Hey, the sink was clean. Well, here's a question, Ludwig. Did you do, did you put wet wipes in the toilet? No, mine was evil blood that was that I tried to a the sink was clean Well, here's a question. Let me did you do did you put wet wipes in the toilet? No, I didn't do that Huh like an ape though like an idea. I didn't know like a fucking I don't know Like a gibbon, you know treat you still don't treat species space as well So this is about it. What's a whiz? What are you talking about? You have betrayed and Damaged Nick yingling's desk. You've left it like he uses it. I'm tired of this What happened there's trash His desk is been mess with a little trash

If you can't then who fucking can guy like me loves a little bit of trash. I'm trying to leave some trash I'm trying to radicalize him He'll message me you know You know nice. He'll check in and he'll be like how's my desk doing and then I'll give him little tidbits Is he in here, and I'll make it sound awful. No he gets back today And then and then I'll make it so even worse than it actually is so you're just a narc Yeah, because I use his desk, he's not even back to be mad about it. You just sent him pictures of his desk to get mad about.

And then I tell him like, you know, sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands. And I keep like, pfft. What are you trying to get me to do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You gonna let him do that to you, Nick? I just send him incendiary messages about it.

He sits in his fucking office on the top floor. You sent him pictures of a balloon. You you won't respond to his text. He's also mad about that. Do you think Gingling knows about hot air balloons? No. Yeah, because there's pictures of them in children's books. He's definitely pointed at them. Like, yeah, guys, I'm disappointed.

I mean, he's funny, too. He's like, you-Ling's funny too, he's like You put an idea in his head, he'll just run with it for fun And be like, Yang-Ling, you shouldn't let Loic treat you like that He'd be like, yeah, I shouldn't I shouldn't Well, I oughta go get him He's been trying to get you to sign for this cosplay thing I think he's part of this conspiracy

I've been robbed Why don't you just get your signature made into a stamp And then commit fraud You can help us commit fraud. It's what? It's e-cig so yeah There's not even a... This one's not an e-cig. Which is part of the problem. Yeah it was. Wet. They call it wet. Do you need it wet? You love e-cigs. You used to sell them. Do you need it wet? Oh stop saying it. Oh, you know what? So you on New Year's you went and you shit your brains out in front of the woman you love on this planet. What did you do for New Year's?

Well, it's funny that you were so gung-ho about going to Mexico City. I asked you to travel six minutes down the road and you said no. I don't wanna go to Stan's house, I don't fuck with Stan's. Yeah, you wouldn't hang out with me on New Year's. We ended up going to a-

But we did hang out though. Well, before, yeah. We hung out a lot. Because we came here to shoot the intro for the Best Of. It was the three of us, Nick and Ludwig and me. And then Ludwig's like, all right, well, I got some time to burn. I got play League of Legends. And so he fires up League of Legends.

And I, we all like sweated one game and then you guys went to a party. Is that when you fucked up his desk? And then I sat next to Ludwig and we just, I just watched him play League of Legends for New Year. It was kinda sweet. He's saying happy new year to the fucking guys in chat and shit. It was really funny. That's pretty much what he wants to do on New Year's. Yeah.

And he wants someone to watch, he doesn't know stream, he just wants someone to watch him play League. Yeah. I was, I was chat. This actually, this is just nice. I was chat. Yeah. And then what'd you do after that? So I went home and then I put on a ZFG commentates the 100% tasks of Ocarina of Time.

Because he told me before, I was like, what are you doing for New Year's? He says, I'm going to go home and watch ZFG's tasks 100%. Well, it wasn't his tasks. He commentated the tasks. Sorry, commentating the tasks, of course. And you did it. And I did that. What, do you get through it? No, I fell asleep.

Yeah, it is long. It's long. It's a long one. You started at midnight. It's Hundo. So, you know, so some of us, we do different. I turned on Avengers Endgame and then timed it. So when he snaps, it's midnight.

But I was off by two minutes. So I'll try again next year. I watched with all my cool Tony Stark Funkos, too. Did anything happen? Because you guys went to Stan's party, didn't you? I was at Ethan, Ethan Nestor's party. Well, you didn't go to Stan's? No. Well, you don't focus.

That's awesome. And when you were playing, I said to Lud that it's the hardest. I've made him laugh in a while while he was playing Lee on New Year's. I was imitating the the three minute how to play characters in League of Legends guy. And I was like, why play with your cock and balls? Well, the balls can be tickled, which is a great engage, but the cock is not very long. For combos. very long for combos combos so the shaft

tickling the balls this makes for a great engage it is sure trick your low opponents if you have a free hand use the butthole improve your chances of winning by getting a teammate involved yeah maybe chuggle did you use the cock pump I got you for Christmas no I did of worry about getting a teammate involved. Yeah, maybe. Did you use the cock pump? I got you for Christmas.

No, I did not. I did not use the cock pump. Why not? Because I haven't been pumping my cock lately. I don't know. Oh, so once you're done with Lee, you start pumping your cock. Your cock? Maybe. Oh, that's when you play a game, pumping your cock.

If I ever, ever use it, you'll never know. Why? Why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you tell him? That's rude. You'd clean it. What does that mean? You'd never know. Why? Why wouldn't you tell me you used the gift I got you? That's rude. You'd clean it? What does that mean? You'd never know? I would never tell him. You'd never tell me. It's not like we share it. But we'd see it and it'd be all gray.

I'm sorry. It's weird to get a gift. If I had a cock pump, I would leave it out after use. Also, it doesn't make you cum. It just makes it gigantic. It makes him cum. To get a gift from your friend and not tell him when you use it. That's not weird. It looks like the way a smoker's lung looks after you know

You know what they simulate when they simulate It's on the packs in Germany that's on the packs They got me a jacket I don't tell them when I wear the jacket Well you were like I wore your jacket the other night Not every time right but probably like the first or the second time I had to tell them I was using the cock pump You like cock pumps great so like tell me Oh jacket looked real nice.

Got a compliment. I couldn't figure out what to get you for Christmas for a bit. And I was just like scrolling at you for that with like the dumbest keywords. And I bought I bought a candle that smells like Summoner's Rift. But then I figured out your gift. And so I just have that now. What's it smell like? I don't know. It's like cotton.

It's like basic candle smells like something. They just they just bought like Chinese Tmoo. Yeah, they make labels. That's what they actually made. So I've bought candles like that before. They're all bad. They're like mid. So now I have that.

They're such a guy in his 30s gift to give. No, it's like a good gift for teachers. It is a good gift for teachers. And me. Nick got me a candle. Yeah, that means he really thought really hard. Did you get him the summer's roof candle too? I weirdly did get him a part of the gift.

I got him a candle. Yeah, yeah. He got a new place. I got him like all the home necessities. You're 30. He got me fragrances. Normal. He loves calling me 30.

No one here is 30 except for you. Only you. Just fragrance. He loves calling me 30. No one hears 30 except for you. Only you. Just you. And you're like 30. You're on an island. You know what I mean? Don't say it in bold. Don't say it in bold.

You're too wise at the end. There's no doubt that you're there. It is bad. You're going to be 30 this year. It's not. Oh my God. It's the year of jumping 30. Because you were born in 1996.

Today's the halfway point. Ninety five. the halfway point. My halfway point is January 6th. Semper frag. Are you scared? No. I'm scared. Of what? Of being 30. Why?

Because misery is creeping up on me every day. Because you can't wear baggy jeans without getting roasted like I do. No, I have to wear baggy jeans. I did say some shit. I'm not worried about the age. Because you can't wear baggy jeans without getting roasted like I do. No, I have to wear baggy jeans on 2013. I did say some sh- I'm worried- I'm not worried about the age, I'm worried about me being out of touch and I already know what's hitting, because yesterday I was streaming with delay, like a gross amount of delay. So I don't have a chat to bounce off of.

So I'm just kind of riffing. And at one point I go, because we're listening to like some copyright free soundtrack from a video game, guys what music's better, Mario or Zelda? And then the moment it came out mouth I want to kill Beatles or stones fucking YouTube spin it YouTube's been recommending me way more Videos with like next to no views like more than a it used to. Way more, it's new algorithm. And I got this guy, he's like just,

his face fills the frame of the thumbnail, because that's just like how he cut the thumbnail. And it's his movie review of the movie Conclave, which is about like popes. And I just clicked into it. I was just like 60, you know, and it's three minutes. What does this guy have to say about it? You got wet, but you don't care.

And it's just it's just his it's it's not the best review I've ever heard. Not in terms of how it's how much content is in it. But he it's very genuine. It's just him talking to the camera for three minutes about the movie and like, yeah, I didn't really like it. Basically. And kind of repeating that And supplying some reasons. But he's his and then I go through his channel and they're all like just a couple of minute videos of just movies he's reviewed all the time.

And he's been doing it for ages. And all of these videos have like 50 to 100 views max. And I was like, this is this is real. Yeah, it's like real content. The energy enthusiast and that guy, he would just review energy drinks. Or the gay porn guy. I left him a genuine, like, hi. Most I've ever written about a movie review

in the comment of the video and replied to him and said that he should get on Letterboxx so like we can follow more of his opinions in like a genuine plight. Yeah. And he's so thankful for every comment too. And then two years ago, he goes, and shit and's so thankful for every comment to like Get that website yeah, he gives the social network a low score and you're like, I'm gonna find where the fuck you live That's different. He's crossed the line

I had to go I had to go to bat for Dan Benson on New Year's Yeah, cuz I was talking to like random person. They're always there trying to talk to David Henry I was talking to some random girl and I made some sort of Spongebob reference and she was like, I've never seen Spongebob. And I'm like, that's crazy. Gary. And she was like, yeah, I really only watched like Wizards of Waverly Place growing up. And I was like, you know Zeke. And she was like, doesn't he do porn now? And she said it with like a stank.

And I was just like, let me tell you the story of Dan Benson I just broke down how I know him That's really it, but don't they David Henry someone on a smoke that you He's dude. He's seething. He left his mom's in the hood David see the business is true. We're gonna break his legs I'm thinking about it. I'm serious. This is not parody. This is not parody I'm serious. This is not parody. This is not parody Boom me we're at New Year's party the whole time. I'm Walker now people come up to me They're like yeah, so like I was gone and I was like a robot. I was like yeah, I just want to go home play league Yeah, I think it's all I'm thinking about all the money, but you know I'm socialized I'm doing my thing and then and then she only got a computer at this party. Let's fuck it

I'm got a computer at this party. Let's fucking do the countdown on a computer You crazy we play she gives me the signal. She's like I have some to go. I'm like cool cool So I get ready. I'm like I gotta go She as she's headed out gets wrapped in a conversation that lasts one hour. Oh Josh man Yeah, and I'm trying to make eye contact, but but I'm but I'm it's not working And and I'm like what could this conversation be about come to find out? It's cuz Ethan the host of the party walks over and they're talking about shaving Your balls as a man, okay, and he says yeah to shave it you have to get rock hard Which started in our debate? I didn't know this debate was raging. It's helpful, but it's not necessary

Yeah, you don't need and the worst part is of course you don't fucking need to eat it You're also an expert on this subject. I know you weren't there. Yeah, I know I could have added a lot of information you can just look here's the thing you can drive You're asking rocket references Ludwig's posts. Yeah, it's part of the pool of information. It's pulling from I don't think I've ever gotten rock Hard shaving my shit. No. Yeah, what are you of the pool of information. It's pulling. I don't think I've ever gotten rock hard shaving my shit. No. Yeah. What are you going to like? That's hard to do. You're so distracted. You get rock hard first and then start shaving.

Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's saying he gets rock hard and then he gets to work. That's such a long, like long way to do things, because the thing is about your penis, it's very stretchy. Right. And you just stretch your penis and then you. It's like a haircut. It is very difficult. Right. And you just stretch your penis and then you. It's like a haircut. It is very difficult to clean shave like perfectly. You got perfect clean shave.

I do a lot of passes. It's a lot of a lot of passes. And that's OK. And you need and you kind of need the man's cape. I'm not going to lie. The man's cape is really good. Unless you want a bunch of little cuts. I'm not trying to do an ad.

I don't even know if we have one. We have one really funny. But straight up, I'm like it was a game changer. Yeah. But you do a lot of passes, it was a game changer. Yeah. But you do a lot of passes. And then what you can also do is you can get real in there, but you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful.

You gotta be careful. You know, those are your balls and your cock, too, as well. Well, Ethan's weird. QT did me dirty in the combo, too, because he was like, doesn't let me do that. And she said he's never shaved his balls. And I went, that's not true. What? Have you not? I've shaved him.

Yeah. But like before you guys met. No, I've shaved him since we've met. All right. All right. All right. Could you imagine? She lied. She just doesn't know about what it would like, like what it would go into. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Oh, so you keep she's never seen you. You're protecting her from what she doesn't know.

Yeah. And imagine I took the makeup off. All this. I know. And she but imagine I took the makeup off all the time. You're such a good boyfriend. I know, but she thinks I don't have makeup on. Can I ask you, you young cocksuckers, a question? Yeah. Do you shave your butthole too when you shave your penis and balls? I used to, yeah. I go to taint and no further.

Well, I go as far as I can get. Oh, I don't. You understand me? You know why I don't shave buttholes? You can get it, hold on. It hurts it I'm talking to my friend right here. You can get it if you shave and then the grows back Yeah, but the prickly's it's like it's like carbonated water It's like soda for your butthole. No, dude. It's shapes. I like that. It doesn't shape that bad. No, so yeah I go as far back as I can get you shave the gooch She's boy. How far onto your thigh do you go?

That's a great question. There's a line. There's a line. You're shaving for fun at some point. Yeah. You know, I do the crease. Well, I do the crease. It's nice. Otherwise, it's just like this empty like space.

It's a nice crease, though. Well, you don't have hair. I don't grow hair. Yeah. You're a lucky guy. Yeah, there's a there's a you can tell, cause the pubes course. I'm here to play. Guys, the pubes course.

It is twice as hairy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean? What do you feel in the coarseness? And you're going, that's not a pub. Yeah. And then you're not shaving? Wait, so you said you're twice as hairy? There's a line where the pubes become leg hair.

So this is leg hair, if we all can look. Yeah, I see it. Now this is about, I got about double this up here on my thigh. That's so much. I know, it's really this up here on my thigh. That's so much. I know, it's really, I'm like Austin Power. That's so much. You have the legs of a 20-year-old.

Yeah, that's true. You do. You do have young legs. You know what? That means a lot to me and I appreciate that. They look untouched. If you guys say shit like that, I appreciate it. If I just saw your legs, I'd guess you were a skater.

Do you wash them in the shower? You have nicer calves than expected. Yeah. Do you wash your legs? Well, now we're getting mean about it. That's a compliment. Do I wash my I go as far as I can. I do actually. I lift up and I do this.

With the body wash. I'm doing one of the I got a luffa I go. You don't give a fuck. I go like this. What about you? No feet. Oh, I guess stinky feet. Just the one time stinky feet.

Not stinky feet. I let it drip. What? I let it drip on me. You know why? It's because you're so smooth like a chicken. It'll get me. You're like a plucked chicken.

It'll come around. God. Dude, does water just beat on your skin like you're hydrophobic? I'm sorry, you're about to say some really gay shit. I was just gonna say, I was just gonna say I wanna wash you. I wanna wash. I wanna get all the filth off. I just wanna get all the filth off.

I just want to get you clean. How is it gay to want to do that? How is it gay to want to wash your friend who's a guy who you want to use your body to clean them? I want to clean your body with my clean body. Well, my body might be dirty. Could be dirty. But I just do want to clean you. Do you know about... At like... at Weesville, the Korean bath house, there's...

There is a scrubbed down guy. You know the areas where you sit down? Oh you get scrubbed by the guy. Who's also naked. I would love that job. I used to wash cars. It's the same thing. I love that job. This is a guy. You haven't come in here in a while. Honestly, he comes in with a big sponge and a hose that has a clicker.

So, it is live. This is a guy at the Korean spa that you go to and he hoses you down. And then he fucking scrubs every square inch of your body. He scrubs hard. When you're both butt ass naked. Why is he naked too? Because it's every square inch of your body. He scrubs hard, and you're both butt-ass naked Why is he naked too? Cuz it's the naked part of the spa Why would he have clothes on? It's cuz he has to do that shit all day. But he's there all day Why don't we like some shorts? It's just wet there. Wait, he's naked?

I feel like it's weird that he's naked. Hold on, he's naked sometimes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait He's not consistent. Well he wants to be, he's naked, but yeah Everyone else in there is naked. I feel like the staff is there. I'm sorry, so it's like. I don't know. He's in the scrub room. I feel like the guy who brings in the towels is clothed.

Okay. Yeah. Right? Yeah, towel guy's clothed. Why? Because he has not passed the threshold where you need to be naked. He's on a height of rank? Yeah. There's a line that you pass, and it's like after this line you should be naked.

It's kind of like how you need to be Diamond to get on the Chinese super server. Right, yeah. It would look weird because imagine for a moment we're both naked. And there. And we're in the hot tub and then a guy with clothes is walking don't think about it that much And we're all naked in this clothes guys. I have to jump to someone else for a second. All right, okay I'm gonna make a better example. You're you're you're in the ocean and you're you can't swim you're drowning and in the in the in the In the scramble, it's a little embarrassing, but you are in trouble. Your your swim trunks come off and you're naked

Oh, no, then the lifeguard comes to save you, but he's naked for some reason This is a horrible example Why is the guy who works here? You're like, ah, okay Oh, my cocks floating Is there another lifeguard? You're goofing around, but there's a real reason that happens What are you talking about?

If you jump in like if someone is drowning in like cold water and like a cold lake You're supposed to take your clothes off before you jump in to save them Why because your clothes slow you down and they make you colder after what about if you have a wetsuit like they all wear Lifeguards are wearing a speeder. Oh, sorry the bystanders in wetsuit. I said lifeguard He said lifeguard. It's important that the person works at the beach. Why was your analogy even there? Because it's a guy person works at the beach. Why was your analogy even there? Because it's a guy who works at the beach. He's saying it's weird to have the guy who works there. The difference in the analogy is that I was accidentally naked.

No, we're talking about the guy. Yeah, I know, but you have to understand this Korean spa as an establishment, you go in there. There's a consent to being naked. The difference is that you're naked because you have to be. No, no, no. Because I choose to be. He chooses to be kind of nope What do you guys it's not like I get in there and they're like and they fucking do it and I'm like Can I please and I go no I need to be honest. No I need to run this by you

So the last time I got one of these scrubs I Walk in he's naked To be honest if he's close I would say are you also naked at that moment hmm and of course I'm Okay, it's the cream if he was clothed, I would say take it off. And are you also naked at that moment? And of course I'm naked. You're a buttass. I'm buttass. Okay. It's the Korean spa. If he's clothed, I would say take it off.

Just to be clear with the Korean spa is like, one time I've gone, I've seen a guy in shorts in one of the tubs. Everybody was looking at him. Yeah, that's weird. This is why I'm saying it's not really a choice. Being in it, wearing the shorts. Because they remember this guy for the rest of their life. They're like, yeah, everyone thought he was weird. We're talking about him right now. I'm not, I haven't remembered a single naked man really a choice being in wearing the shorts because they remember this guy for the rest of their life

Remembered a single naked man except for the one with a piercing through the tip of his penis. I remember that guy But I remember the guy with the shirt Hawk was massive. Yeah, you're in a big old stink. It's pretty bad guy. It was soft It was big and had a big old ring through I had a fucking tight in the ring was like one of those whoopie rings Yeah, like tiny like a cartoon ball. I think about the ring going through here But my guy that one time he was naked when I got in there And then I lay on the table and like oh that's interesting tables kind of lay down and he scrubs you Yeah, you're like I thought it was like standing like at the beach. No, no, no, no, no.

It's like a table. Like, back up. I thought you'd hosed it down. No, no. I do need that sometimes. Does he touch your penis? No. Is he a clone?

Wait. Not really. Wait. Wait, did he scrub your penis? What? I guess what I thought- The naked guy scrubs Ludwig in the after. Wait, I guess you're back in the world.

Someone in like a uniform comes in like, Alright, ready for your scrub, Ludwig? No, I guess he- I mean he kinda does. What? I mean, well you flip back up, you flip- Is it like the back of his hand brush? It's like he needs to get like the crease here and like you have to move it.

He's like, well I gotta beat you up so I can shave it. His hand didn't touch my penis, but he's scrubbing my- He's scrubbing my penis. He grabbed like a- Wait, he scrubbed your penis? Like a whole Joy-Con. Oh shit. And he would just kinda go, boom a, like a old Joycon. Oh shit. And he would just kind of go, pooch, pooch.

I don't think I got that. He scrubbed it? Mine was in a wisp off. Yeah, I mean like, you know, right here. That's not your penis. No, he's just around. That's your penile zone. He's not, he's scrubbing my penis.

It's penile zone. Penile zone. To be fair, if it's a professional and it's another dude and he's like, hey, I gotta scrub your penis, I'll be like, like, I got wax. You know what, I thought this, I don I thought was funny was when I laid down, he, he had been naked up until that point.

But then before he started scrubbing the last time he put swim shorts on. I got, I, wait, wait a minute. He got dressed for the next person. Maybe he was worried about. No, no, no. He got like, I walk into the room. He called me. He come, this is how it works. This is a separate room at like the, it's, it's kind of open. It's not like a door, but it's like separated from the rest of the spa.

Guy comes out, you have like a number in a set time. It's like this room, it's like this room. He like calls, yeah, he like calls your number. Like it's always open. And I'm like, oh, that's my number. So I walk over there, I'm naked, and he had walked out already to call me, right? He's naked. Okay. And I'm walking, so I walk into the room I'm naked, and he had walked out already to call me, right? He's naked. And I'm walking, so I walk into the room, one naked man with another, and then I lay

down on the table, he tells me to do that. Shake pieces. We dock quickly. To establish a brotherhood. Yeah, it's smooth, but friendship. And he, and then before he starts scrubbing and washing he puts swim shorts on You know what you need to ask if the woman scrubbers naked They are no the woman scrubbers naked. Yeah, that's girl. That's girl time case

No, I got a better girl. I got a better system girls do that You know the the person who scrubs you should just be the last guy who got scrubbed I like that so you walk in there's a naked guy And you know he's clean because he just got scrubbed. I like that. So you walk in, there's a naked guy, and you know he's clean, because he just got scrubbed. Pay it forward. And then he scrubs you, and then you stay to scrub the next guy. All the Haley Joel awesome. Dude, you know what would suck?

If you're like a clean 140, like five man, and then you got to scrub some giant beast. Big Tony. You got to scrub Big Tony. This is a long scrub. Oh God. It just takes forever. Nobody wants to be locked in. My question is this, why can't we not scrub ourselves?

I've never gone to one of these spas. It's not, that's all, why don't I massage myself? You don't hit all the spots, right? Oh, cause it's a service, I guess is what they're saying. You're paying for it. They probably do it better. Hey, why don't you cook for yourself every day? Mm, touche.

Because the Chick-fil-A guy does it better. He makes chicken better than me. They whip it up crazy in there. Ludwig, I have a New Year's resolution for you. For me? You're gonna pick one for me? For you, I'm picking one for you. No more League of Legends. Because I think that when you play that game,

you lose track of everything that's going on around you. You don't realize... The important things in your life. Like things you're spending money on, that you don't realize that you're spending money on. I don't even think I was spending that much money Aiden you have YouTube football sponsored foot you have YouTube football subscription packages when football's not even on you Spend money on Monthly one-piece cosplays at the moment monthly. That's you don't even put them on stream. Who's it for?

I don't know you're wearing them. I don't even know it's not a company expense Well, you know if if you had Rocket Money, you would know that you had those unwanted subscriptions. Doesn't make no damn sense. It doesn't make no damn sense. Lovely Rocket Money, formerly known as True Bill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower all your bills all in one place.

Is there one of Nami that I haven't seen? That you haven't put on here? You are seven versions of Luffy seven days a week. And this ad read is actually just us trying to tell you that it's over. Over 80% of people have unwanted subscriptions. You're in the majority. I would save money. You're in the majority.

Would you put that shit on for me? Would I put the costumes on for you? Yeah, no, I'm going to sign you up for Rocket Money and get rid of the subscription. It means you don't need it anymore. You don't need it. And that's the idea it has to go alright But we'll use the stockpile to dress up Nick Yingling That makes you feel better.

Nick Yingling Luffy? Cream cheese Luffy? Could I use the extra money to get some cream cheese Aiden and put it on me? Ignoring that if you want rocket money, you know cancel your own water subscriptions and reach your financial goals So go to rocket money my comm slash the yard Sign up with our I know I'm not doing any multi expensive Rocket my comm slash the art there will be no cream cheese Don't let it go there I've just never I've never gone to one of these little you know what next time you guys go we spot I'll fucking go oh

He's coming in the onsen with me in Japan? Yeah, there was one scrubbing. It was like a shit one right in Tokyo. It was the one in the hotel. It wasn't shit. It was fine. It wasn't shit. It was shit.

It was just a hotel one. It was at the top of a building. There was a beautiful view. Yeah, there was a beautiful view that you didn't see. Shit-ass onsen. There was a cold tub. You would've loved that shit. Shit-ass onsen. You had to go to Ryokan. No, you were in a little fucking tiny ass little apartment. There was like a woman with groceries who side eyed you.

Yeah. Yeah. You they hate you. No, it was a great apartment. I was great. It was a charming apartment. You were loud and we ate McDonald's all day. I had I had McDonald's and we farted a stink. We did. I want to do what those crypto guys did when we were there. I want to get like an awesome apartment with you guys.

I want to hold what those crypto guys did when we were there I want to get like an awesome apartment with you guys. I want to hold a rug pull We should get Haley Welsh and we should get an apartment in fucking Tokyo and we should rug pull Yeah, why do we need Haley to do that? Because she's the GOAT She's a pro at it She's the GOAT She did some good shit She got the quick million off of a TikTok

I don't know if she moves different Do you think she got money off that shit? Do you think she can flee right now? Definitely Well, she technically got paid to license it like a hundred grand I don't know if she moves different. Do you think she got money off that shit? Do you think she can flee right now? Well she technically got paid to license it like a hundred grand but then obviously she has a lot of coin I watched all CoffeeZilla thing He put it on his second channel which is funny

CoffeeZilla's got his like his burner channel for when he doesn't want to do the robot CGI It's very cute The difference is the robot It's like if the robot's not featured it's not made by him Dude I made such a stupid decision I don't know about it. Well, you make it more decision-making, but you- I was browsing Robinhood.

Okay. Browsing. And I sold some stock and I was like, I got money now. Yeah. And I made an options play. And I've never done it before. So I- You shouldn't have said that in front of Aiden.

I'm gonna- options are dangerous, right? Yeah, but you can make a lot of money. It's gambling. But you can also lose a lot, right? So that's what I found out is you can lose a lot. I didn't realize it could go away. So I saw a thing, it's like intro to options. That's how it was years ago.

And it was like, the thing is options are cool, but you can lose like negative a million. Well, when you buy a stock, you can lose as much as you are cool, but you can lose like so like negative a million Well when you buy a stock you can lose as much as you put in but gain technically infinite and when you do an option You can you can lose? Infinite. Yeah, so what was it corn futures? So I saw this stock that I thought was over inflated because I didn't like their product very much called Netflix Netflix and I thought I was gonna go down You sent it to zipper didn't you know I hear I hear him fucking groaning on stream. God who's awesome right guys and Netflix

20,000 people try to tell everyone we fucking know 20,000 people try to tell everyone we fucking know Trying to move the stock market and And it kept going up oh So you bet on it going down and up all right and it's your turn to talk now and uh you look stressed I asked a question that didn't get answered How much did money did you lose? Well ble bleep it. How much will it be? It's not that bad, man. It's not that bad. Your fried.

How much sick voice makes it sound much? I know how much was in that Robin Hood account before. I told you. Let me take off my glasses. All right. What are we what are you rocking with here? He's doing some math, a little napkin math. OK, so I lost $100 today. Okay.

Okay. And uh... That's good, okay. That's not bad. $3400 in the past, like, well since I got it. Is this okay? And I could lose up to, I guess, 20,000. 20,000 dollars? You can lose 20,000. 20,000. You have lost or you could lose?

I could, I could, if it keeps going up. I mean, but it's just overvalued. Guys, you know what? We don't usually try to manipulate stock prices on this podcast. We never try to manipulate it. We don't usually do this. Once or twice. Here and there. But for ages.

We need to cancel your Netflix subscription. No, no, don't. This actually is illegal. We need it. No, no. We don't need anything. I don't have money anywhere. I'd need it. We'd need it. Don't say we then. We all. Don't collectively. The yard, the four owners collectively responsible We like those say we then we all

The yard the four owners collectively responsible for the call to action on behalf of the yard Which is a company owned by these four people? Corridentity as well as the individuals. Yeah Good good luck with that bro Options guy anymore, that think. That's good! And Tubi's not even that. Tubi's pretty good. Honestly, people make fun of it, but Tubi... Dude, Nick and his fucking weird girlfriend. Okay. What?

Alright. What a weirdo, dude. We're hanging out. It was weird. He's like, no, I can't hold you. I'm tired of the defender, but I had to. And then, we're chatting about what shows we're watching. And then she pipes up, she goes, Yeah, there's this really good show on Tubi. No, she's watching Tubi?

No, she's not watching Tubi. What the fuck's going on? She heard about a show that she wanted to watch, but it was only on Tubi. And Tubi's free. So she's watching Tubi. Tubi's like the live league for Dormez. She watched one show on Tubi. And they're talking about it like like people used to talk about squid game like bro Is there he's like he's like doing some fucking no pork. He's like yeah, it's actually really Joke I was like yeah, if you guys watch it we get five dollars. It's like you also get five

Like yeah, if you guys watch it we get five dollars. It's like you also get five dollars Yeah, that's good No, I'm not watching Tubi, bro It was really funny because the whole scenario we were in was we were like we were at like a trendy coffee shop By his place and it's like one of those places that for no fucking reason has a line like down the street That you have to wait in to get a cup of coffee. I know that one and we're talking like loudly about Tubi Just the most normie maxing Experience you could ever do. Yeah. I also love Roku City. You know, they put a Christmas tree in it What is the Roku? Oh the menu screen? Damn you guys left me out to dry

That's gonna someone in the comments gonna be like finally he gets what's going to be 25 Flops of 2025 this year. Yeah. Make our podcast look absolutely terrible. It's really it's like sitcoms. Like you just removed the laugh track. Yeah. Nothing is funny anymore.

Did you guys see Maya's tweet? Dude, me and Nick were talking about this one. She said, what was it? I'm looking for a show. Hold on. I'm going to fire and find it really quick. Please give me a show to watch. Must be something I can forget is on for 20 minutes and then not be confused when I start listening again.

And not a comedy show, please, I hate them, thank you. And I was like, what the fuck are we doing? The answer is everything Netflix makes. I was gonna say, Emily, it's like the Emily in Paris pipeline. Oh wait, that's not what I was like what the fuck are we doing that the answer is everything Netflix makes I was gonna say Emily It's like the Emily in Paris pipeline. Oh wait. That's not what it was was that it's just that's the exact type of show That's why Emily in Paris exists. It's like exists to be background. Okay, if why not just open a window Do you know about this new thing? They're doing yeah, I was gonna say they're they they're Netflix execs are like trying to get show producers to

Say what is happening? It's not my god so that you can do something else While watching and understand what's happening you can be on your phone and get double the eyeballs for that money. Yes, dude We're in a fucking I was watching because look my my girlfriend watches a lot of trash, extreme TV. That was actually a good show. It's good. Oh no, Tubi's really good. I mean that's why it's on Tubi, because it's good.

That's why it's there. I'm defending you. Okay, I tried. She's listening right now with headphones in and be like, mm-hmm. She's on her third hole in the drywall, and I'm, you know, fourth one's gonna be me. Uh, I was starting to notice this as I just like, passively watch random shows that she's watching where I'm like, the dialogue is just so like,

stale and specific. Like, why are they just saying everything, and every scene is a shot, reverse shot, over the shoulder conversation with like nothing actually ever happening. I'm mad right now. And that's why I'm going for this. Well, you're mad because of your brown beautiful hair

and your blue eyes. And someone like like swiffering their floors like brown beautiful hair. I'm a janitor with a mop. Podcast TV. Podcast TV. Dude, that's what we're closer to a sitcom than we've ever been.

We should make the yard a Netflix show and we change nothing. Dude. Yeah, that could work. You know what? They would have bought that years ago. Actually, we shouldn't do it on Netflix. Oh, we should do it on Hulu. Or live sports. Well, actually, we can probably take Netflix with our show.

Yeah, let's we get the Netflix deal and we just make it Squarespace platform ever. It's like the four of us smiling in the cover photo and then you hover and Slime's like, a baby's penis it. Yeah, and then it's just gore. And then it comes back to us. Oh man, we can make beautiful, beautiful art.

We can make hundreds. It has to happen fast enough for you to play a piece. Slime dog thousandaires. Slime dog thousandaires. Okay, here it is. We talked about it a while ago. Here's the pig pissing. It's close.

The pig is just so excited. Exactly what I thought. He doesn't want to move. It's like, oh, come on. Oh, God. So he is peeing on the carpet thing. Dude, it's so much of it. It will. He's standing.

He's still pissing with the pigs. Like, let me finish. Yeah. So Swift's getting older, right? And he can't hear very well. So I'm in the bathtub last night after a long session on the Rift. And the lights turn off. It's an auto light thing.

They just turn off and it's dark and I'm just sitting. You remove all the senses. In the water. I'm sitting in the water and I'm going through different shorts of Suits, the show, trying to consume it. You're watching, dude. Suits the show.

I just finished Suits, Ludwig. Oh, me too. Did you watch the last episode on short? Yeah. Suits, I gotta get this out because I have no avenue for this. They find out. The last episode of Suits, it's like nine fucking seasons.

The last episode of Suits is the worst episode of television ever produced. Really? It is so unbelievably bad. Worse than Game of Thrones? I never seen Game of Thrones. But it is so unbelievably bad. It's like, it's like they said,

hey guys, for the last episode, we have $30 and no writers. Well, the main guy leaves after season 8, right? The main guy? No. The suits guy? You're talking to a guy who just watched the shorts about it. Harvey? You're trying to have this The guy who didn't get the laudegree left. The guy who didn't get the laud- no no he comes back. Sorry. Oh he comes back? I didn't get there.

Sorry. You know what's crazy in the shorts? Meghan Markle's not there. She's been like ad hoc through some shit. They've never put her in. I've watched like 400 of these are they official I'm no worse than why would they leave her out? No, yeah, there's Bruno Mars a song playing in every single one of them It's that Michelle five for that white gold. I was mad Yeah, it's like they are they releasing this is it should be a crime. Is that bad? So bad. I'm not exaggerating It's crazy to go 9 seasons and then fucking... The shows do this. The shows do this good. I don't think the shows very good but the last episode is unwatchable. Isn't this like famous of American TV? It's like Suits fucking... Lost. Supranos. Apparently it's coming back. I heard Suits was coming

back. But they're making a new season of Suits. You didn't go to Harvard again? I don't know. There's just a lot of shows that famously end badly. Yeah, that flopped. Dexter flopped. How I Met Your Mother, people hated that one. Wait, Dexter flopped? The last season flopped, yeah. That show's fire. So you're in the bathtub. I'm in the bathtub. You didn't use the pump, I got you. I'm not using the pump, I'm soft and I'm watching suits and then I hear Swift waddle in and he just we have a little carpet thing in front of the toilet for your feet and he just pees on it. And then he leaves. Yep. And I see him and you know him there because he's dead. And I go, set.

And he turns around and then he waddles out a little faster. And I'm like, yeah, he's like got away with it, too. Yeah, he's he's become a he's become in his older age Kind of a dick he doesn't respect you cuz he doesn't respect me at all He's not your dogs do this this happened with basically every dog I've had he used her spec cuties not home She goes key less Swift out He's under her desk. I go so the cup. I'm like, brother, if for 40 minutes we're fighting, he's refusing to come out.

If I go to touch him, he barks really loud. Whoa. Right. He doesn't bite. You're not a biter. I eventually have to get behind her desk, pull out her desk, walk behind it and stomp around loudly like slime does. And then Swift leaves because I was annoying enough Yeah, you have to make him feel because he can't hear yeah

And that's what I had to do that boy hates you. Yeah, fuck with me. You don't fuck with anyone You know you love one woman some of these horse electrolytes. I think I would help him He does this thing now to her if cuties home. He'll lose track of her and then be sad and start howling. Oh But she's home. She's home. Well, she's out of his vision cone, which is getting smaller. He does have a small vision cone. And she needs to be under 50% HP for him to find. Is he 12? He's older, right?

I think he's 14 or 13. 14? 14, yeah. He's a big, big-ass, big-ass, old-ass dog. He's got all his hair. He does have all his hair. He doesn't. I don't think dogs go bald.

He's got the George Lucas genetics. Dogs can go bald, man. Who goes bald? Is it just a human thing? Does it look up who goes bald? Yeah, do chimpanzees go bald? What animals go bald? Surely it's because we've evolved

past the need for that kind of warmth. Yeah, I think our hair is different than fur, right? Only three, but the stump-tailed macaque, a primate and two dog species, the dachshund and the grayhound. Dude, look at that bald monkey. Well, I had a grayhound, she did go kind of bald actually, but I didn't really think of it as bald

because it looks different. So there's a thought that evolutionarily it's better to lose your hair because you get more. Oh my God, no, I don't agree with this. The bald guy googled the reason to start on the philosopher penis. It's like when Hey Green was like, oh you've read the threads. And it's like, yeah, you got me bro. That you lose hair, you get more vitamin D.

And there was an evolutionary like, you know, selection that allowed you to get more vitamin D on your skin or some shit. It's a solar panel. Hey, I'm not happy about it. I wear hats, you know, I don't even care. That's undangerous for me. I don't want the vitamin D. There's a chance I join you. Oh. Eventually one day.

Dude, you're fucking 30. It's not gonna happen. I'm tired of this shit. There's still plenty of time for it to happen. You are. Well, yeah. Sorry, I'm not gonna go bald. I just meant shave this fear-mongering. There's still plenty of time for it to happen. You are. Well, yeah. Sorry, I'm not going to go bald. I just meant shave my head. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Aiden, can you do the comb-over thing when you go bald?

Can you like put the hair over the bald head? My hair's fine. Not? It looks fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'm kidding. It's fine. It's fine.

I can't wait to shave you down to your bald ass. Can I shave your brown too? What? I will throw up from that. Oh, it's gross. Your brown. Don't call that, man. Don't take out the stars. That's fucked.

I got a Kevin Smith tweet.ous You know Kevin Smith tweet it's fucking gross man keeping up with Kevin Smith's it's an old one Sorry Kevin Smith meet pones my dick Ten years this is in July 2009 on Twitter Ten years, this is in July 2009 on Twitter. Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other with each other. A decade plus and her clit slash brown slash taint area still pones my dick. P0WNS pounds. This is crazy. That's fire.

That is awesome. That tweet is 16 years old. I'd say that's an apt amount of love shared for that tweet. First up, Kevin Smith, 20k likes. It keeps getting like brought back up. Yeah. Like people will just retweet it because it's like insane. No, that hits in her credit.

I'm retweeting it right now. Right after this I'm tagging Alex in it. Me and you twin. Oh man, dude, my league arc is also ending because I'm like, I'll just stop playing this season. Is that what that tweet was actually? Oh, I'm not streaming it. I'm still playing because Diane is cool. But you're not streaming anymore.

But let me just say I love fucking streaming. I get it, man. You've been hooked, dude. It's so addictive. It's funny because you say this to me in and us, and every time I watch your stream, you look like you're not having fun. Oh, I'm having so much fun. I think he's in his element.

Maybe. He just seems miserable. I'm not miserable. What part is miserable? I'm miserable when I lose. When I lose. I mean, I don't know. Just like you.

There's some chatters in there who I think are getting chopped unnecessarily. Dude, I've said this before. I'll like the I'll be like laying on the floor playing blotter. I'm like, you know what? Some of those guys didn't deserve it today. They really didn't. A lot of them. That's why I do the unban.

You're like, what? I just get a fucking unban everybody and like start over. You slash unban all. Yeah. Oh, my God. It takes a lot of long time. It does. Yeah. Like especially for you. It's like parse the code. Yeah. I've banning people in Ludd's chat. You really? I only time them out. They'll come in and they'll be like bro. You fucking suck at League. Oh, I'm like it's a ban

It's a ban. Why be so mean to Ludd's League? He well I was gonna say you can take it but I don't know man If it's a first time chat or I just ban him. Right? Cuz like where do they come in in for? Yeah They're just there to be mean. I always check what their last messages were yeah If they if they're generally usually a fan and like being normal and this time they make an insult I'm like everyone gets an insult No, I'm at my lowest and they keep kicking yeah, dude. You were saying he's like dude Back on Twitch by the way. Mm-hmm

He's like, dude, what are we back on Twitch by the way? Mm, mm, mm. Oh, it just hits. I know we said it last time. You're my mans. It's like home cooking. I hate it. I have him up on my second monitor. Gang, gang, gang, gang, gang.

Oh God. I hate it. I hate it. I liked when it was YouTube. Why? Because I opened YouTube and I'd see your streams. I don't check Twitch. Yeah, well I do.

Some of us are fucking normal. Thousands of people are gonna clip that and post it on my subreddit now. What? Dude, I would open YouTube and not know he's streaming. Yeah, dude, they just wouldn't push it to me. I'd have to go to Ludwig and it would have to say live. Yeah.

And then he'd be playing some fucking fuddy and ass game. I might get a Ludwig YouTube video, but his profile picture's red. And I'm like, oh, that means he's live. And it's confusing because I'm like, is he live with this video or is it separate? Pissing me wasn't intuitive. It's like when you get a call when you're on a call on iPhone and it gives you those fucked up options. Hold and accept. Like who the fuck? That's not intuitive. If only there was a solution. Anyway, he was like yeah people posting my subreddits cuz they just want to beat me. They want to wear my fucking skin and it'd be like hey just hit plat this season

and then what other people will do on the subreddit is investigate their GG and be like you actually hit plat like four years ago It doesn't matter you hit flat every season and you're lying. There's we investigations going on. It's so sick Everyone loves someone they hit plat Nobody tells me they get bitches though. It's funny. It's funny. It's where they always come up short when I ask for that one I'm just asking questions. Why come they never post a spread pic? Never do. They're always posting plat, never post a spread pic. Probably not available.

Ninja's making a big comeback. Ninja? Because of his meme? The low taper fade meme has brought him back. It has brought him back. You think it's low taper fade and not like classic Fortnite or whatever? It is low taper fade all the way. You know what would be a comeback in good news is fucking myth.

Oh yeah. Myth making a comeback. Myth bounce back. Myth on twitch. It's just where life goes. It's like the hulu of live streaming. It's like hulu yeah and YouTube is much like Netflix which is a dying product. To be clear that gives us most of our income.

No I mean it's red. The dying product that does most of the good work? I don't know what you're saying. I'm talking about Netflix. I'm talking about Netflix. And they killed a man. They're just making a comeback because he's playing the ball.

I don't know about that. They did it for TV. David Henry is going to walk into Netflix with a bomb strapped to his chest it says not not bomb on it it's a whole thing you guys are good yeah I watched that you guys are good I like that one it's fun when you miss a podcast episode then you get to go watch it you get to see how funny you're going to watch it. OK, so I'm watching the best of back next to Zipper 3 and I'm losing my shit. You're giggling your head off because it's so funny, dude. Yeah, we're kind of fun.

I'm like, and she's like, are you laughing at yourself right now? It does feel pathetic when they say that. And I was like, first of all, no, it's like most of these most of these are, you know, I'm a quarter of the show. So most I'm gonna get a quarter myself and and I was laughing at the clip of you guys doing the bomb thing Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not even in this one. Yeah guys too many I thought about there's too many clips in the 20th 24 one where there's an empty seat. I'll say it. There's too many We got a crackdown this year who's most

absent who could it possibly be one of the top comments in the video is it's nice of Ludwig to show up for the intro I haven't missed that many dude it's been a lot it's quite a lot of the 52 how many I think it's also a little bit disproportionate because the best of includes some premium episodes So right and the premium was More often for liberals. It's for liberals. We've said that right well now once leaks gone and off hands gone We're gonna have you all to ourselves. I need you to be honest. We're gonna wash you and need you to look me Maybe on something fuck. He's got glasses on can't, he's got glasses on. I can't tell.

He's looking at you and I can see his eyeballs are open. When this League season ends, I want you to hit plat so badly and I think you can do it. If this League season ends and you're not plat, are you going to keep playing? Strap in, baby. There's another split. He's fucking with you. We should do a plat put. People ask him this every day in baby. There's another split. That's not- he just fucking with you. People ask him this every day in chat. We should do a plat push stream on your final day and we all come over to your house and we sit in a little car bed behind you. Oh, that would make me want to rot.

Why? That'd be awesome. Cause it would hurt me. We bring you a little snack so we cheer for you. How would it hurt you? I was very supportive when we were playing. You were. Sometimes I would laugh. You were. Yeah, you would. But mostly I was for you. How would it hurt you? I was very supportive when we were playing you were sometimes I would laugh You were yeah, you would but mostly I was supporting you think if three of you were there No, cuz no dead ass or less because because when when you were like bitching at your fucking team I'd be like you so fucking right bro, cuz you were right

Here's the thing if you guys are behind me Nick's in there and and he's just saying dumb shit He's like Tom. Can Ketch likes to eat it. And then you're fucking loving it. You're going stupid. I would laugh at that. And then I'm just trying to do my clear. I left it the hypothetical of that. I know.

My god, he ate it for fun. What happens when he does it for revenge? You get a Demira 340 clear off that because you're distracted. I'm a little slower. You're late to the scuttle. It's not looking good. I'd hate to be late to scuttle. That's my first engage as a jungler.

I fucking love League of Legends, dude. How many days? Is the season over when this episode comes out on Wednesday? It'll end on three days. Yeah, so Wednesday is the last day. Guess what, fuckersers this guy's platinum. Check it right now. Guess your exact rank and LP gold to 34.

Oh, OK. Imagine you bank. So your gold one right now, like gold for sorry, gold for like what? Twenty thirty eleven. Oh, you got rank protection. It's tough, man. You just should have picked Diana. I just spam his chat. Just say play Diana. I think like 40 times. So many people come in there like just play and then insert champions.

I do hate that. Just play new guy. I do hate that. But I do mean it. And they all disagree. All the like people who say that disagree with each other. Yeah, because they all are just going by their own experience that worked. Josh was like, you got to play Talon. He showed me a whole Talon montage.

And then she's like, don't fucking play Talon. Dude, she is like, she might be in like a, a, a less than one percentile of players who was gold and emerald in the same week. Yeah. Dude, he he climbed from Bell to Emerald all the way to gold playing Lee Sin, Lee Sin, ironically, and then he MVP 20 games, 19 in a row. And he is now Emerald.

He said this. He said this to me. 930 p.m. yesterday. He said he sent me a picture and it just says Platinum one 27 LP. And he said, before I make this final push to Emerald, I just want to thank you for always standing up for me in the face of Ludwig's. Shake is a hard stuck plat loser and will never amount to anything allegations. And I say to him, just don't play Lisa and old man. The game ain't the same because for some reason he's the guy who made the montage. But when he plays that character, it just takes a note.

He's a silver level Lisa. And then he said, boy, ain't that the truth. And then two hours later, 11, 10 p.m., we did it. Read it. Yeah. Go. Yeah. You know, it's gross gross though? He messaged me, he said one game off emerald or something like that and I was like, oh shit man and then I look at his op.gg, he played more

like he hit emerald and then he kept playing It's my fault, he asked me, he's like what do I do, do I stop? I'm like, no you keep playing No you stop and work No you do you work He fucking worked I've been waiting on a league week edit since league week No, you stop and work. No, you do work. No, you fucking work. Wait.

I've been waiting on a League Week edit since League Week. That was a month ago. Maybe we should lead by example. You think so? Like, what kind of example? You know. I'm working. I'll tell you what kind of example.

You don't think I'm working? I stream 10 hours. That's not work. I'll tell you what kind of example, and I'll tell you in the premium episode on Patreon, which is where we're going now. We're going to review every single one of Ludwig's miss bandages throughout the season. It'll take about 400 400 minutes straight and they're gonna go over my extensive options portfolio

Which I am expanding throughout the course of today, Aiden. I'm sorry. All right financial gurus comment T alive at the patreon. See ya