The Yard - Ep. 188 - Ludwig is BALD...

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

This week, the boys talk about Ludwig shaving his head bald, the difference between vtubers & furries, and how Aiden was carried to victory by a fan in a tournament... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're going get your mic in front of your head Come on Talk to the hand the bald's not listening The panda neck tattoo looks so sick. We're going? Yeah, we've been going. Okay. And you don't care.

All right. Because you're a new bald man. I get it. You get it? I get it. What do you get? I get the swagger of bald. Can you explain?

Oh, you get it. There's aagger of bald. Can you explain what- Oh, you get it. There's a bit of aura. Okay. Cause I don't care how it look anymore. Is that it? I don't give a frick. Yeah.

I look fricking ugly as hell. Right. Okay. Do you think that? So when I walk into a room now, it's all about commanding power without my looks. Ooh. Okay. He's actually kind of spitting and it's not because of a bald thing,

but I've always held this idea that I take pictures of myself and I'll look as ugly as possible and it makes it that much more impressive when like a girl likes me. Is that what you're feeling? I walked into a coffee shop and I stood in line. What were you wearing? I was wearing something similar. Similar. I was wearing I was wearing a tank top with the Sea Dog V.A.

merch pajamas, which have monkeys grabbing bananas and it's baby blue and Lakers all over. Are they all over? They're repeating. Yeah, repeating, of course. Everyone just quick aside when Ludo was like, you can't wear cream and white together. He did. He did.

He was wearing Lakers, Lakers Crocs, baby blue pajama pants with monkeys on them with monkeys covered in monkeys and that tank top furry, please. I'm furry. We are not restricted to color coordination. I see. Us three? I see. You don't get it.

Us three? You don't get it. Yes, sirs, especially the woman over here. I'm really sorry about that. In a society, if this was a society, would I be your king or would I be the slave? There's three of us. And you would be three kings? Yeah. How would you command? slave? There's three of us. And you would be three kings. What do you think would happen?

What power do you command? There are always less kings than citizens. Yeah. You are helping my army. Well, this goes back to the old riddle, you know. It goes back to the old riddle. The old riddle. I would love to hear the old riddle.

I would love it. Sorry. Can you say it out loud? Can you say it out loud? See how they said it. There's a mercenary in the middle of a room. In front of him is a priest, a rich man, and a king. And the question is, who has the power over the mercenary?

Who's the second one, the priest? The priest, a rich man, and a king. Ummm. It's a trick. The mercenary holds all the power. That's right, bitch. And you have two akimbo weapons. Oh fuck! Oh shit! The mercenary holds all the power. That's right, bitch. And you have two akimbo weapons. Oh fuck!

Oh shit! The mercenary holds the power. Even when you know it's fake. When a gun is pulled on you, it's not- I don't like it. It's not a fun experience. So now what? Right? Well, for- okay.

So now you're sucking my penis. Is that what you would use your power for? The mercenary would be like, okay, rich man, you're sucking it. Priest, you're sucking the king. Finger in my asshole. Finger in my ass. King, you're choking the nuts. And your analogy, I am the king. I just don't have power. You're not the king. You're one of these three guys.

You're probably a priest. He could be the king. I'm the priest. Worst case, 33% he's the king. Yeah. I mean, a rich man, I think, was the best idea here, because that's still useful's the king. Yeah, I mean a rich man I think was the best idea here because that's still useful to the king But it's all series, you know levels of control anyway Yeah, you would be I am a king with magic And I activate force field They're bouncing off my force field you know it's funny

I put that in my my waistband as I was like, I'll pull this out eventually, and you guys gave me the perfect setup. I think if you were to chart a graph of if all of us had a prop gun and needed an opportune time to pull it out for comedy, I feel like yours comes out first in every timeline. Yeah, you're the Michael Scott of this group. I don't think you could... You know the experiment where they give kids a marshmallow

and they say if you don't eat your marshmallow You can have two later. Yeah, but if you eat it now you get it now and like I eat it So there's a measurement of like all sorts of genetics and wealth what chooses what cable you are just eating I eat the marshmallow instantly. I know other kids. I find other marshmallows to eat Holding the other kids at gunpoint and stealing their marshmallow. That's and that's what we should be doing He's the mercenary wait to marshmallows in front of Aidan. What is this the yard podcast? the other kids at gunpoint and stealing their marshmallow. That's, and that's what we should be doing. He's the mercenary. Wait, two marshmallows in front of Aiden.

What is this, the yard podcast? Okay. Is he back? Is he back? Does he know? Look, I feel simultaneously weak and powerful around you guys. Do you feel weaker or more powerful with him beside you? You should feel the weakest, I think.

I'm riding the fence, really. It's funny, because I was trying to do the math last night when I was driving home after shaving his head bald as to fuck. Whose head? Yours, Ludwig. Oh, right. Yeah, I was there. You were there.

It was your head. And I was like, if I shave my head tonight, or no, no, no, if I don't shave my head, do I have more hair than him, technically? And is it the first time in human history where I have more hair than Ludwig? Well, no. And I- The 50 years before I was born.

That's crazy. You're 30. And once again- You're 30 and I'm 34. 29, buddy. Also, you know what? Let's go. Deadass, at Pat's house, you had the most fucked up Blue Lives Matter haircut.

I think I had more hair than you at that time I really do. Yeah, that was a very high and tight It was like the one you meme that you face apt, but it was real. That was Pat's house I still remember that haircut when I met you about blue lives matter. Okay, really? Yeah I think the flag is all wrong. Why? Because they do the line. Yeah. Yeah. But the line is just random. Why the line? No it's not. It calls back to a phrase called the thin blue line, which implies that without the thin blue line of police officers, society would still be chaos. Society would collapse. That's what it means. You didn't know that and now you look stupid. The 13 lines are the 13 colonies. Yeah. So it's just like, is the line just

New Hampshire, Delaware? And then they're like, no, it's a thin blue line. And there's already blue in the flag. The place of the 14th Colony. Right. Well, one of the stars is also a skull. One of the. Did they do that? No. That would be high. It's 50 skulls. That's what it could have been. It could have been 50.

One Punisher skull. For each flag. Dude, we could make the dopest flag ever. Thank you. We could make a billion dollars flag ever. Thank you. We could make a billion dollars. All right, all the stars are Punisher skulls. It's all grayscale except for the blue behind the Punisher logo. You keep the blue. 50 Punisher skulls in one maple leaf because we've taken them.

Yeah, Punisher skull maple leaf combo. It's a skull shaped like a leaf. And then at the bottom of the flag flag a silhouette of a man with a gun And just a dog cowering Cowering chihuahua. Yeah. Yeah, and then it says plus one and it is holographic. So the chihuahua shivers Yeah, each line on the flag represents 1 million dogs that the police And it's like the old chiefs logo. Hey, you can make this talk about my fucking people like that what people I don't know I feel like Oh fitting in with them today. Oh my god talking about some basis

Also this flag we can make entirely in the halo 3 banner maker. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, possible. I promise Oh, by the way, so I'm in this coffee line wearing pajamas looking good looking good And I spot Nick who has the most hair in this room. He does. You have more hair than ever, actually. More than ever. And anyway, I see him and I just start looking at him. And I'm looking at him.

And I'm there and he's not noticing me. And he's looking past me. He's like, he's like, like if you're me, he's going, That's awesome. And it takes him until he's like, like if you're me, he's going, that's awesome. And it takes him until he's about to leave to recognize me. For real? And then he walks. I don't want to spoil it. It's all happened. And then he walks up for real and he goes, you look bad.

And that's the first words he says to me. I will say I was going to say it loud enough for people to hear. And then I said I got close and whispered it to him. Why? Because I would have done the first thing immediately because I know they know I Know they know too. Which is the power you have with ball. Let me touch it. Let me touch it. Is it the power? Yes, I do think it's power I do think it's because I walked in that place and I made it my bitch because I walked out instantly Do you think I do that? Yeah, I do really I do think I do that to play

I think when he walks into the Jimmy John's and he orders and then he looks to his right and whoever with him is his Wife that is that's his power. I think when when yep I think that's exactly what I was thinking is when you turn to aid and you go, this is my wife She wants she also wants a beach club. I installed the chip in her yesterday. She quakes like crazy I think when you do that, she has a chip in her pussy. Diet Coke, please. Now, if you were more like visually presentable, you wouldn't do that.

Crazy thing to call. Can I phrase it? I think it's reasonable. How can I phrase it better? No, I can't. No, I can. I mean, if you were like less to repulse. Thank you.

Can I not say this? I have less hair than you. But you're gonna keep, you're gonna grow it. You're a tourist. Let me say, the one big difference between you and him right now is that once you can grow a beard like that, it changes everything.

It does. You think so? Oh, yeah. It changes everything. It changes everything because if he goes upside down, it looks... It's you go you go from racist skinhead to Brooklyn writer, like the beard. The beard, it's a toothpick. It's the toothpick changes everything for bald people. You know, I've looked at closely at that picture. It's more than the toothpick. No, it's not. It's that you got a haircut.

You get past that too. At some point you go, well, the toothpick inside of the confidence. That's how he was able to go out and make changes in his life. It's kind of like, you know, if you've been on house for a while and you haven't showered and you have it, it's harder to get your job again. Right. Than someone who... Sure.

It's the same, the toothpick... The toothpick is the affluence. And that's the beard of the bald. It's the beard of the bald. What if you're unable to build a beard of a bald? If you're like him? Right here, guilty. Then you have to rely on looking like

the guy from Prison Break. Yeah, you really do have to just have an chiseled face. You just have to, I was thinking about this. It's like, well no one tells, no one says Jason, save him, is ugly. No, he, well, OK, this is funny because this gets brought up a lot in the bald, like a tunnel hole you go into and you start losing your hair. Yeah. Going on these forums.

I've been Googling stuff. You remember when Hank Green was like, you know, you know, the thing, right? First time you Google it, it's like, I have a friend who's balding. What should he do? And they say, welcome, brother. Your phone shuts off, and you get a new jailbroken display for balds. Yeah, it's bald OS. Welcome to BAPL.

You get bald Uber. So a lot of these forums and things will be like, dude, it's OK. You're going to be fine. Look at these guys. And it's literally three people. It's like Bruce Willis, Jason Statham and Prison Break Guy. Bruce Willis and my mom's celebrity crush. That's before the I already kind of knew that.

I don't know why. Why would you know? My man. OK. So yuck. Yuck. Oh, my God. Sorry, this is related. I went to a little art show yesterday with my lovely girlfriend. Who do I run into? I ran into Aidan's girlfriend, but I didn't. Just her. Just her.

But I didn't know. Well, not just her, but Aidan wasn't there. Right. She was not alone. She was with her dad that we had just we had just publicly balded. Yeah. And you have pictures of on your phone. And I have pictures of on my phone. See, that wasn't weird to him. They told him. But we didn't told him. But he was like, hey, look.

No way. And I'm like, there it is, sir. Also, I'm very sorry. But he's been sending the first five minutes of the last episode to like everybody they know. Like all their friends. So that part where I was talking about her mom. Yeah. Yeah.

So I hung out with them the next day and we're in my place, just me, Zipper 3 and her parents. And then they started talking about this and he was like, it's all good. It's like I'm balding. She's hot. It was great. Yes. He's got how does she feel about it? He's got a great attitude. She thought it was funny, too, for what I could tell. When you're a bald dude and you have like a hot girlfriend, it's

you just feel like you're like Stan. You're like a child on the shoulders of a tall man. It's his wife. It's his wife. Well, I'm saying in general, you know what I mean? It might not be permanent is what he's saying. Like, we don't know. Oh, man. And there's also an appreciation.

I feel like every time in my life I've outkicked my coverage. It feels good. I feel how you feel now. What the fuck? We're the same. We're the same. Not the same. He was funny.

About your outfit at the coffee shop, he came in and he was like, you will not believe his outfit when he comes in. And then you actually change your pants. I felt betrayed when he came in and changed his pants. But the thing is, I told you, Nick. But if you're willing to go out there looking like that, why not come in here looking like that? Because my clothes are here.

The reason is because I wanted to wear this pants. How do you have no clothes at home? I don't believe you have no clothes at home. They're all probably wet. When Cutie leaves, your life crumbles. I eat pancakes, I go ball. You don't have any clothes. I go live.

Yeah. And you just do marathons straight. This is halfway through the corpse of Ders, just chewing on that. Cheeing good. Wait, you have the pets? No, no, no. Okay, I was gonna say...

No, it was because I had Ying Ling bring me the clothes. Yeah, his clothes are in two duffel bags. It looks like money in a heist film. It's so funny. Except it's just pants. Yeah, it's just like... That shrunk. Duke Vito shirt.

I think the way you dress started making a lot more sense to me when I realized that you just kind of take clothes from places instead of dressing like a normal person at home. I wear it so for you guys. If it were up to me, I wouldn't. He had a yard shirt on. Dude, that actually makes me feel like shit because two days ago you were streaming from the office and you had a yard shirt on. I was like, oh, and I realized now he just didn't have any on. Give me some credit. So that was a 50-50 coin flip. Okay. Because it was the yard shirt or a blank white t-shirt.

And I went, I'll go with the yard shirt. You'll get a little crazy today. So I thought about that. It was a 50-50 there. Dude, I'm so... I'm fucking beefing with you, Fusli, that... that goddamn... Say it, bro.

Don't say it. We're in a safe space. We're in a safe space. You won't listen to this. We were... We were shaving his fucking head and She I come in with the those materials and Because her and me young have been like cutting the middle of his head She's cut to the chase because they're fucking inept

Because she's been doing booze cuts for six years and has like intentionally willingly or unintentionally stayed bad. No, can I say I was watching last night, and before any of this, maybe like two weeks ago, I was like, okay, I'm getting really sick of the whole, I'm just screwing my hair out thing, I think I want to cut it now. And I thought about her show. I was like, maybe she would want to cut it,

because she has a show and she's cutting hair. And my perception of Fooz cuts up to this point was she maybe used to work in a salon and then she became a streamer. And now she's like, oh, I'm good at cutting hair. I should use that on stream. She knows nothing. No, she knows nothing.

I thought that too. She knows literally nothing. So here's the thing. This is what makes her a terrorist. I don't think she knows math. Not even a little bit. She was doing some mental addition. And I asked her what her SAT score was.

She said 720. I'm calling cap. 720. I'm probably calling cap. Out of 800, that's phenomenal. Maybe that was the date. No, just the math. Maybe that was the date she took the test.

I don't think that was her score. 720. Yeah, July 20. A summer tester. Yeah, my ass. Okay, well anyway, she... Apparently, this is like a widespread thought because she only does.

Who's gonna call her that? Oh my God, I was going to say that damn it. Type racer. I know you. I'm insane. Because she only does Fusco's through inbound. What? Like she's getting enough inbound requests from people. She has a client list.

Yes, she doesn't need to outbound reach out and she's getting enough inbound requests from people. She has a client list. Yes, she doesn't need to outbound reach out. And she's getting like A-list clientele like she did Shroud. She nice wig asked her. Oh, he has great hair. Yeah, I watched a little bit of the Shroud. I was the only one I've seen the Shroud one. He was like, she was like, do you like it? Be honest. And he's like, I'll be real.

It was better before the haircut. So her best one ever is when she did it with me the first time. Because what do you measure this by? By the way the hair looked after. Got it. Okay. Okay. And it's because I let her do nothing. Every time she would do something I'd be like, nope, that's not how that works.

That's not how that works. Yeah, you need a guard right now. And it's like, okay, this is a scissor part. She's just going for it every time she does this. I really like Nick. I thought it was like she used to cut hair on the side in inbounding. I think it's because they have this perception based off the branding, the name, the status of the person, a person would randomly cut your hair.

You would assume they have done it before. No one does sandwich doing this. And she actually, she's actually, she's actually real. Jeff Wittek. Actually a real barber. Well he cuts hair for sure, for real. He's a barber shop. So there's like a genre of creator

who used to cut hair, who cut hair now. And so you would think- Is she LARPing or is it a big prank? She's a terrorist. Yes. She's a terrorist and her act of terrorism is cutting hair bad. But usually she has like guardrails.

It wasn't to me. It wasn't that she like it wasn't that she was bad at it. It was that she would go, how do I use the razor? Yeah, she didn't know her tools. So like so anyway, she's cutting my hair and she can't shave it. Like she's like, she's too afraid to cut. She's too afraid to cut me. And so she's cutting it like way up here.

She's going like, wing, like really fast, way high. And like, this is not doing it. Yeah, I had to show up and be like, no, it's OK. You can get closer to cut me. And so she's cutting it like way up here. She's going like, wing, like really fast, way high. And I'm like, this is not doing it. Yeah, I had to show up and be like, no, it's OK. You can get closer to a skin. I actually cut Ludwig, but that was my fault. But I was like, it's pretty hard to do so. Yeah. And she and then she did it. She's like, oh, so you weren't going to bring the big guns in.

I was. I didn't know what she was going to do because I was blindfolded. So but when I realized it, feel it. Yeah, I was like, OK, I realized... You could feel it. Yeah, I was like, okay, I can tell there's nothing here. Or that's the goal. It was a reverse mohawk. And so I just, at one point I go, I call Slime, and he's like, I'm on my way, and I'm like, bring the stuff.

And he's like, okay, it'll be 30. Yeah, well, it's funny, because I was gonna go work out, saw this was happening. I'm like, I'm gonna crash this thing. And you called me out when I was in my car. So I had to go back and get, you know'm glad you did the things I use but I use because we're both bald all three of us that's right three of us were all three of us bald 30 year olds I'm so far from where you guys are far far you're much closer to a centimeter that's a good question we already figured that out it's a distance let. We already figured that out. It's a distance. It's measurable.

Let's imagine one person is a eunuch and let's imagine the other has a one centimeter penis. Yeah. Are we that different? You're closer to being a eunuch than you are to Peter North. It's very similar. Practically, we do the same things with them. You know, Peter North called his penis the North Pole? That's funny. That's pretty good.

So I walk in and she looks at me and she like, Ludwig's like, OK, the expert's funny. That's pretty good. So I walk in and she looks at me and she like, Ludwig's like, OK, the expert's here. And she's like, why is he the expert? Oh, she's like, I never even thought of you as bald. Which is an awesome thing to hear. That's she said on the Nats because she said on the same stream, she was she was talking about shaving my head and she was like, Oh, no, Nick has nice hair. She remembers my hair. Yeah, there's just no hair to look at. It's it's like baby

It's like I didn't see anything. It's like white is not a color. It is merely the absence of color And so but it was look at us, right? Shut up, Ludwig. It's so fucked up because after I like work out Ludwig Meehan and Fuzi go upstairs and they're like talking and hanging out I go up to like grab a protein bar and say goodbye. And so I'm like, bye guys. It's nice hanging out. I'm leaving. I'm like, bye. I'm walking out the door. Well, just real quick previs. He doesn't say goodbye guys. See you later.

He goes and grabs a protein bar, comes up to my face, puts it on my face. He goes, protein, I need protein. I didn't get big with protein. Do you see how it's different? It was funny. He was sitting down and I was at like standing height. Like your penis height. Like a penis height. And I just started like caressing his cheek with it like near my penis. So is Foozly watching? Yes, they're both just watching this happen. They thought it was really funny.

And I was like... But it's funny how when he phrases it he goes, Yeah, so I just said goodbye. I gave hugs all around. And I was just like, and I was like, there's no protein shakes and need protein. And, uh, and then he kind of like, he kind of like took it. Okay, move on. So you're walking out.

He didn't say, he didn't say, don't do that. No, you know how he does it. He'd been here before. Maybe. Yeah. Which it made me look like it made me look like I secretly run your life, which was really funny anyway. What else did you experience as a bald so far? Just the coffee shop.

Are you in looks for being bald for my girl? Judy, happy. Yeah, she tweeted out a brown bag. Yeah. Oh, and the Lego man. Yeah, she did do that. And the Lego man, no hat. No hat.

No, I FaceTimed her this morning and she's like, head on, okay. From the side, she keeps saying it looks like the letter P, which I don't. You kind of look like the new Patreon logo. Your head is it's fine. Well, I have this thing right here. Excellent. I have this thing where it's like bulgy. This goes in bulgy. It's like the Tyler one head shape.

Yeah, it is. So if I do this, it's more accentuated. But he's bald and he looks good. And it kind of looks a bit weird. I think it's your skull, right? A bigger you got a bit of a bigger skull. It keeps going. You got horns. Yeah. You know what I would say? Keep keep a Turkish flight ready to go.

I just in case I'm fine. Deborah, just in case. First off, God bless you. I'm fine. Kind of going up. It's not like kind of like low key. Like, I know you want to make this a thing fine. It's kind of going up. It's not. But like kind of like low key. I know you want to make this a thing. You can't even say that because it's just not. It's just snatched.

It's just not. I can see where the hair isn't. Sure. And you all can too. It's just snatched. It just is. I know it. Snatched.

That's a big word, bro. I don't know. It is. This shit, A1. You see my scar too? Yeah. What's that from? I tried to do a flip into a pool. This was like Tuesday? This is when I was like 11.

Oh, we both got flip scars. Was it back or front? It was a front flip. I used to hit him constantly. I was not scared of flipping at all because my cousin showed me. So I go for the flip. I hit my head on the side, but I go in the pool. And then I just like, it didn't hurt, but I was like, oh, I was embarrassed.

So then I was just kind of swimming under the water for a bit, and I just hear screams from above the water. There's just blood everywhere. Oh, that guy's bleeding out of his head as a kid. And you're staying underwater because you're embarrassed. They think you're dead down there. Yeah. And my sister's freaking out, my mom freaks out,

and then they drive to the hospital, they have to go up stable me up Wow It was pretty easy as a procedure now. It looks normal cracking your skull is not too big of a deal I think I think it is Cracking your skull did it not back chill. Did you crack your skull? You cracked your skull? I think you know on your head. Yeah crack the skull a wee bit Why do you think they stapled it? Because maybe the skin. What if he was normal before that?

Oh, normal how? But now that's why I'm not normal now. Like he's like no one in his family is from France. Yeah. What if that happened and he just spoke French and then everyone just kind of fucking went along with it? And his family, they just started learning French to a comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like to accommodate him. They accommodate him.

Like you came deaf. That's beautiful. That's not what happened, David. Someone has not killed you. I can't believe that happened to you. That's beautiful. Thanks, guys. Your family is so nice.

I feel like that's an enriching family environment. That they would all learn French for me to flourish. A level of support that many would be jealous of. A loving family. You guys still doing basketball? Yeah, today. You're doing it today? Yeah. Are you going gonna play basketball? Yeah, how's that going? What does that mean?

You like you guys will play with those guys. You know camera whips over. It's everyone's bald. I Think they I think they run that court Only we need to go it's good. Well, it's getting it's getting big is the issue I don't think we need to go. It's going well. It's getting big is the issue. You don't like having people involved. There's like so many people. Some people you wish you could cut.

Oh no. It's not about cutting. Oh, but it kind of is. No, it's not. Let me put a few on the chopping block. There's like 18 to sometimes 20 plus who show up. And so it means you're waiting more time in between games sometimes. Who would you cut?

It's just no without you having the name of people. Yeah, I'm going to ask you a philosophical. Would you rather cut from the good players or the bad players? Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelby, Kelbee? Uh, no, it wouldn't be... The issue is not specific people. The issue is that once you... We're sitting in this pocket right now where if you hit like 18 people instead of 20 or like 12, 18 means you have one big regular game

and a bunch of people who have to sit or can't play a full 5v5 game. So you need to like be close to 10 or be past 20. I would Thanos snap. I don't care who goes. Not me. Yeah, I was gonna say you... The snapper never goes. Could Thanos have snapped himself?

That would have made him so much cooler. That's not a fucking badass. He's like, yeah, I ran that shit. He's like, I don't know, this could really do it. And then he dies right there. And his big purple cock just disappears. Accidentally, dude, I was gonna say while beating off his penis. He could accidentally Like a snapping noise snapping is just your middle finger hitting like the pad of your thumb Oh, you're saying he could actually accidentally snap after be beating off with the glove

Yeah, well, I'm course is kind of like if I'm Thanos. I'm trying Cuz you could get crazy it's like going to a soda fountain and like mixing some to see you picking different stones And you're seeing what each one is doing it and throwing one stone on at a time. Yeah, it's like a different dimension What's your stone of power bus look like yeah? I bet it would shoot through the fucking concrete wall like a lightsaber Yeah, we survived. We have a patreon by the way you can give us money Yeah, you can spend money on that. We do.

There's more of that. So basketball is going okay? It's going fine. Why are you saying it like that? What are you saying? This is weird. This is like when Nick Yangling was talking about when you guys do the yard on February 6th.

I was like, what does that mean? Why are you making an ominous threat? Are you showing up today? Making me nervous. I'm just wondering about basketball. Why? I don't think you are. I am!

Because I like the idea of a social dynamic that has gone out of control. It's like a discord where too many people came inside. No, it's not that bad. I think it is! It's not. I think it is! Do you ever sit out? I'll take like rest.

I was personally like... Do you sit out of games? Yeah. We used to have to sit... we've always had to sit out of games. Why is that? You made the league? You're like trying to sow dissension. It's weird, it's very weird. You made the league! Why would you sit out? I think he's like trying to sow dissension.

You sow dissension! Because he's jealous of our social life. Someone joins the call and you're like, not this guy. It's not really like that. It's not really like that. There's not's not a so what if I join the call? I you keep trying to make this a basketball I mean that's just that would be a great thing. I you've seen what I might I would love for him to come I'm gonna be fine. You wouldn't be the worst one. Yeah

He would you would like Stanley from the office we'd love it But that's the thing if you can if you said you wanted to Come and play basketball today. I would be elated Very I'd be really mean to you. We don't care really always am that's like going oh in 16 and being me It doesn't matter. It's like it doesn't mean anything for sucking you in friendlies who cares if you're being mean Your words mean nothing. Yeah, I really couldn't get to you. No, I know. Unless you physically hurt him, maybe. Hmm. No, you could get to him.

You think so? He's the easiest to get. I think I'm basketball. I think I could. Yeah. How would he get to you basketball? So Aiden is gettable. I wouldn't think that.

Aiden's very good. Yeah, you're gettable, bro. If someone would score on Aiden and you would just be like, uh, Aiden, I think... OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHo no, no, no, no, no, no. He doesn't care about that. He'd be like, yeah, he's a good player.

He's a good player. You have to be like, Aiden, I think you about that. He'd be like, yeah, he's a good player. He's a good player. You have to be like, Aiden, I think you, I think you traveled. He's like, it's not a travel. Yeah. That's what gets Aiden. And it's like, no, no, no, I think it's like the rule. It's like, calling him on a foul, the other guy scored anyway. Yes.

Yes. Calling him on a foul or challenging the fouls he calls. That's how to get Aiden. Yeah. When you like take a charge, I would stop you from from doing that. Rock2a save on that thing. It's like it's, it's unbelievable. It's so bad.

It's so old now. What is old about it? I won't let them play us this week. I use Rocket Money. How much do you think you're paying in subscriptions every month? I found out. You know what? Not much because I use Rocket Money to check my subscriptions.

Well, here's the thing about Rock2, you know who could use Rocket Money, is all the people rugpulled by Hayley Welsh. That's not true. It's true. Included in that, 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. I did. I finally canceled Country Roll, because I do not watch anime anymore. I am done watching anime.

Dan to Dan's so good. And 100% of people who were rug pulled by a meme coin Could definitely spend their money better Well, by the way If you guys didn't know rugged money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower Your bills to congrow savings and you'll have I walk to I wish that's helpful. But Explode him right now explode him And so on top of that, I found out I had a subscription to the Criterion channel. Why was I subscribed to that? And I got rid of it.

What is that? They stream movies. I did find out recently that I had subscribed, because it says most Americans spend closer to 300, I was spending about 5K annual. Oh, Jesus Christ. What about you, open neck of slime spurting blood? Well, it was mostly Crunchyroll.

Do you have mail order brides one per month? This is you being so rough. What were you spending that on? He's talking. Listen. Do you know how that works? He exploded. He's not talking.

I'm going to keep going. Canonically, he's exploded. He's exploded. But Rocket Money, who isn't exploded, has over five million users and has saved a total of five hundred million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to seven hundred and forty dollars a year when using all of the app's features. All the money I've saved on Rocket Money I've put into Trump coin.

That's crazy. Anyway, here's my neck hole telling you to cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash the yard. That's a rocketmoney.com slash the yard. And I'll say it a final time out of my spurting, spurting. Oh, hi, Rock to a it's getting unsubscribe on that thing. Let's rock. Explode him again. Explode him again.

Oh, please. Rock to the episode now. Charger and his fights. That's the one time the fireworks are episode now. Charger and his fights. That's the one time. The fireworks are a bottle moment. There's a G in the stands. Aidan in the stands, bro. Yeah, dude.

The sexual tension. Dude, I heard you guys almost fought. No. What? Who the fuck are you talking to? Where do you get your information? I have my sources. They're bad.

No journalistic source is bad. It's all information. Stupid. Stupid thing to say. You're learning about basketball through like People magazine. It's not a thing they teach you in journalism school. You sure? It's one of the pillars. No, it's not.

Like the Parthenon. That's not a... All sources are good because they give you information. No, because if someone's intentionally giving you misinformation... That's information. It's like poker. No, because if someone's intentionally giving you misinformation. That's information. It's like poker. Then they're Russian. Yeah, and they're Russian.

Then you that's how you get... Have you never played poker? Guys like sheepishly like, oh, I guess I'm all in. Obviously aces. But that's what you have to figure out. And so you keep doing this analogy thing and they're bad. I don't think they're bad. I think the people are listening to what I'm saying.

They're putting the pick on what I'm putting on. The misinformation of somebody getting aces is me. I almost fought with stands. I'm just saying if someone has a motive to make me believe that right, that's information on the court who would want to make you a great question. And we've arrived. Yeah, well, they did. They did have it.

They did have an altercation. Because how to go stands, haste, they did. They did have it. They did have an altercation. Because I go stands, hates being pushed. Push, you push chance one time. He's got that big ass. That's what I'm saying. You think you can take a. Because I found him. I found him in a way that I did not know was foul. So he's fouling.

OK, and he's getting a little bit. But you guaranteed foul at the street ball. Like we're doing so many fouls that don't get called. It's the ones that really like. And it differs per person. You can do you can do a lot more to me than you could to Stans. I will take a lot more beating. You have more HP.

I have more HP and I could call it, but I won't. But Stans will call it because he doesn't like being pushed. Also, borderline, I never call it. I almost never call it. If you get fouled. Yes. He doesn't call it, but he'll fouled. Yes. I didn't call it But he'll be like, so what did you do to stand? He pushed him around a little bit Did you fucking and then says you guys stop push me like this on offense and I had the ball and I push

Stance with my arm a little bit of poop came out Who of Stan's? Okay? Can't do that. You can't do that. He was really embarrassed. He tried to walk, but also keep his legs crossed. He wanted to just swing, but he had to use both hands to hold the poop. The thing is, if he did swing, it would hurt. If he did swing, oof, really did bad.

He doesn't know how to swing. It's a stinky swing. He knows how to swing, bro. A poop swing? That's a poison swing. I wouldn't want that. I have gotten so many messages about shaving my head. What do you mean? bro. The poop swing. Yeah, it's a poison swing. I wouldn't want. I have gotten so many messages about shaving my head.

When I imagine it, because the moment the hair came off his head, I started getting flooded. You're next. You're next. We're coming for you. Like threats. It felt like threats. Some people saying, like, if you went bald, I'd stop watching. That's that. There's a really funny post on the Yarn subreddit from last night about, I'm a tolerant person, but if I could not listen to a show with four bald people. Listen is a very funny verb.

Dude, I can't listen to this radio show with four bald people. They all sound so bald. Yeah, I do think if Nick suddenly went bald somehow in some sort of freak grease fire accident, it would be really funny. Burned his eyes. Because the real ones would stay. We'd know who came for the looks and stayed for the fucking- Well, I'm gonna find out.

The real deal. You'll find out. Yeah, you're gonna take a hit. I'm gonna find out. You'll take a hit! We'll see. We'll see how bad the hit is. People don't treat us right. A left-handed doubt. Not doing it.

Is that part of the bald? Also, Northern Lion is bigger than you'll ever be. What was that? The truth. Okay. You don't even play Trickshot Simulator. Yeah. All I'm saying is like, it's not curtains for us.

You're not an NL head. You can chill. No, not really. I don't. I watch the highlights. I don't watch. I I know I don't fucking I can tell what's your lungs look like in his shit I've been around bro don't even come at me I can ask librarian don't even come at me I was there before a librarian existed I don't really I'm just saying shit I don't think I killed for that yeah I

don't know about that do you piss off a lot of library library's gonna send a big coin hit me in the 20 year old. I think I'm just saying shit a lot I don't think that's an L's demo. Yeah, you're missing an L's demo. I'm widely definitely no No, all of it put so many on Twitter at least I think This is German runoff the fan cam that's German runoff and they're 30. No, yeah, they're like Disney adults And they're 30. No, yeah, they're like Disney adult 30 Germa women fans are the Disney adults of streamer a year old women zipper clout loudly zipper likes that one I don't think I knew this Dermot was like huge on tumblr like the fan base

He's been around so long that I assume his base has to be older than 50. They have to write aged You know, well now that he is, you know And I was just don't think 15 year old girls. Maybe he'll stream more. Maybe you can be the white German. People are fucking saying that. People are being like, dude, I saw a comment. I was like, damn, yeah, he's streaming more.

So someone's like, isn't he retired? And they're like, yeah, but he's still like, he's like that seven year old retired teacher who shows up to teach a class or two. And then someone's like, yeah, and he's streaming more because off-brand production is shut down and then someone replies, yeah the one good thing Ludwig's done, the you fuckers. You fuckers. That's what I'm called for.

They hurt me. Yeah, they cut you deep. We go into the cell, we were keeping German, we're like, alright. Come on out. Yeah, you want Mr. German to teach us. He's like, it's been 20 years? No, we're out early. So much it. He's like it's been 20 years No, it's less government regulation so much less

Now he's streaming more but yeah, I don't think 15 year old girls are watching World of Warcraft He just started playing wow, right, but I also don't think they're watching like m-dos games. They're watching m dot are Why did I also want to say that we're so twin. You're fucking killing it. What's going on? You should shave. It's a morning pod. You think so? He's awake. You would look.

Someone did a great Photoshop of this years ago. I have it on my phone. It looks awful. If that Photoshop. Can I tell you, I never did. Did I ever tell you guys this? When I was going, when I was like losing my hair, I Photoshopped myself bald to see what I would look like. How did it make you feel? Well, I'm not good at Photoshop

2017 yeah, this is not like using Facetune. Yeah, we didn't have the tools that we have now and black man's head That's what we have now. And dude, it's like a black man's head. I don't think it's on my computer. So but I remember looking at it and being like, it's not too bad. I think you grab a different person's top bald half. No, because I was like, it's my head. Like, what better source than this is my thought process.

Well, how do you make it? How do you make it bald if not to use someone else's head? Did you like I just like it? Yeah, I just like what do you call it? Used like masking tool and mass your forehead. You know, you can take a piece of a picture image. Yeah, I use the stamp tool like made my skin more. So it's like constantly repeating the same.

Yeah, just my forehead. It keeps moving, which is kind of what going for this. Yeah, yeah, it becomes more. Yeah, your forehead becomes more. Yeah, dude, I just had this like really sad night where I did that. And but at the end of it, I was like, yeah, my head shape looks fine, I guess. Do you think if Ludd right now, while he's bald, just like lathered his head and like like finasteride and minoxidil, a big cocktail at all, do you think it would come back like a fucking just like horsehair

Takes a long time there would not be bald people Yeah I'm not saying it would create new hair. I'm saying the hair that you do grow is like way stronger I think you couldn't get you can achieve thickness with these tools You're talking about but it still takes a while his hair would be grown out already before you even saw something though if you want if you want it thick Give it to yourself. It actually is so it's very thick. Look at how many dots I have already You know did you guys also know there's a procedure to get tattooed not on your like your subdermal layer It's like the layer above so it's not permanent But it lasts for like a year and you tattoo what that looks like on your head bald guys sometimes get this to you

I promise I've no like wait is it just so your shit looks less thin it looks as if you are choosing It looks like you're choosing to be bald. Yes, because it looks like you have hair that could come back. That's fucking it's like when People tattoo their eyebrows, right?. It's like when people tattoo their eyebrows. Yeah. Similar. It's different because tattooing your eyebrows is saying, look, I have eyebrows. But tattooing the hair follicle is saying, I don't have hair right now, but I could. Yeah, and it looks exactly like what... It's actually very realistic.

They look good. But it's funny because I remember this so vividly because there was like a botched one I saw on Reddit years ago. It was like a guy who was offering this service cheap. Literally a dude with a tattoo gun. And this guy's like, I went to a hotel and this guy did it. And it looks, it was like a, it was a horror scene. And he like showed people. He's's like this do not go to an amateur who does this.

I don't get a tattoo in a hotel. Yeah. It's cheap expensive doesn't really matter. Oh yeah. Are we back? Oh my gosh it works. Well I mean we have we just can't see because the TV isn't connected to the internet. Yeah that does look great.

He also gave him a widow's peak which is fucked up. Yeah you kind of want to. Yeah you want a natural hairline. Yeah, if you do it too squared up. Who's the dude on Twitter? Cornelia, is that his name? What's his name? The dude who dances and covers and sings?

Correll B. Buff Correll. Correll B. Dude, that's what that looks like. Yeah, kinda. Well, he's a Sharpie, I think. Buff Correll's crazy because people asked him, why do you do that if you don't know?

He puts Vaseline in his hair and like has giant eyebrows so interesting and he's like I like the way it looks. You guys see what he looks like? He's done like 1,000 covers. He would be an awesome podcast guest. mmm it would be cool for 10 minutes. What if he's insane? Well if he's insane it's awesome. That's what I'm saying there's really no doubt. What if he's boring? If he's boring then it's like wait you're boring how are you this how are you that guy? Yeah's what I'm saying. There's really no doubt. What if he's boring? If he's boring, then it's like, wait, you're boring? How are you this- how are you that guy? Yeah, I guess you're right. It's hard to lose.

Is he still going? Yes. Yeah. Bufkiril. The king. Why quit when dancing's forever? Do you guys have a dream guest on our show? Dream?

I was thinking about this recently. Guest? I have a dream being a guest, probably. Mask on, mask on, mask on. Xi Jinping. Xi Jinping! You cannot- I on mask on mask on Xi Jinping Xi Jinping you cannot I'm on ironically Xi Jinping. What the fuck would you say to him? Imagine goose visit? for starters Chia And then and then we'd get and then we'd get some geopolitical secrets out of jump right into it

And then I that and then and then a I already know there's no way he's cut So you're just paying your daughter goes to Harvard What do you think about that? I just called it a bomb to ask In school now all the doors are locked. What will you do? What will you do? Mr.. Payne? All over yeah, I want to go to Vancouver Northern line mm-hmm. I would love to get norther yeah Would you do it lying would he do it if we came to him? He'd probably do it I think you know that a kid and shit

So he doesn't have to go to him and do it between his specified hours true. What about Jeremy? I would also love Jeremy talking about doing this for yes. We just never damn did it I'm on the term episode long time eight five. Yes. I mean the onus is on us I would also love Jerma. We've been talking about doing this for years, we just never damn did it. Jerma. The Jerma episode, long time. Nine, eight, five. Yeah, I mean, the onus is on us. I just wanna do it from like, I wanna do it from like a middle of like a jungle.

With Jerma? I just wanna make it right, you know? In the Amazon? Something weird. I want it to be some fun. What if we did a pod with Jerma on like a Disney ride that went for 90 minutes? Dude, we're all throwing up.

Yeah, we're just tired and like, you went to Disneyland recently. What? Wait, what? This idea sucked. Huh? This idea sucked. Why does it suck? We were going to do a part with Aidan's dad. What if we did it in Mickey's house? Oh, that'd be tight. That'd be cool.

You've been to Mickey's house. Mickey's house at Disneyland? Does Mickey have a house at Disneyland? Yeah, is it? Oh, no. He has a house at fucking Six Flags. I thought he lived in the castle. No, he's a modest mouse, if you will.

Wait, you really? That's not Mickey's castle. Let's go. It's Mickey's house, and then Goofy lives across from him. And Goofy's house has all the crazy. Why do you just go to Toontown? Oh my god. What the fuck?

Are you a cop? You look like one. Cause we wrapped up in Disneyland. What are you talking about? Oh, it's cause you did the Goofy's coaster. Wait, what is this house? What is this house? It's in 9 inch Toontown.

No, we did the Mickey and Minnie ride where you- where they're in love. And they sing the 9 inch NL song at the end. Wait, is it like the- what's the- you know, the- And they have the goat see. Nothing can stop us now. Yeah, that's Goofy. That's the Goofy ride.

No, this is a Mickey ride. This- well, it's the Goofy ride. No, this is a Mickey ride. Well, it's the Goofy train. Yes, the Goofy train. You're saying it's the Goofy ride because Goofy drives the train so therefore it's his? You also have more screen time with Goofy. But what if Mickey owns- Isn't the name of the ride, isn't like Mickey's fucking railway or some shit? Probably, but-

I think Mickey owns the railway. Goofy just works there. Maybe it's called Goofy's railway. Oh, so it should be Mickey's because he has the capital. I'm just saying- Goofy's time in doesn't matter. It's his goofy's time in. What are we doing? Goofy just works there. Maybe it's called Goofy's Railway. Oh, so it should be Mickey's because he has the capital. I'm just saying. Oh, Goofy's time in doesn't matter. What are we doing? Goofy's time in doesn't matter.

We're not share ownership here. Goofy's time in doesn't fucking matter. I'm just saying if he punches the clock and he's driving the train. He should be paid $7.25 on a gun to shoot himself in the fucking face because it's Mickey's ride. Well, maybe he should use his money and not go to the fucking bar afterwards. Oh, because he wants one release, one release from the sweet prison that he lives in. I just see his house. I don't want your shit. He has a house. You know how hard it is to have a house in this economy?

He's renting. And he's a dog. He's renting. He's not renting. The modifications he's done to that house, he's in trouble. He's not told the landlord. No, I think he went and kicked the families out that were living there and he took the house. He gentrified that. He gentrified the neighborhood. First off, how did he gentrify? He's a POC. Mickey Mouse? No, Goofy. Goofy? Goof he's a POC? Mickey Mouse? No, Goofy? Goofy's a POC?

Goofy's a working class POC. Mickey's not? Mickey's a white... Mickey's a piece of crap, maybe. Tell him, bro. Tell him. Mickey is mostly black. Whoa! The color of Mickey is black.

This is tough. So is Goofy, though. So you think Nuka Zeus is a black man? Me and you are the same. Mickey's been dying his skin. And was formerly a melee modder. Is it a hat? No. Wait.

Is he wearing a hat? No. No, that's his fucking body. No, that's a hat.? Is he wearing a hat? No. No, that's his fucking body. No, that's a hat. That's gotta be a hat. Are you kidding me?

No, he gets home from work and he takes it, he hangs it up in his house. Well, what's under it? Just a round bowling ball? He's just round, yeah. Where's his ears? You ever see it? No, he doesn't. This is like toad theory.

This is where everyone else's ears are. You're talking like toad theory. Yeah, that's not a theory. Where they look like a Lego man's head over me. Toad takes off the... Yeah. That would kill a toad. look like a Lego man's head That would kill a toad literally It would kill a toad instantly into a billion pieces you don't know toad like I do you know toad I will say I think he spent more time with toad Toad doesn't come up a mochi

Toad does not come up a mochi All the time fucking lie don't comes up does not come up a moge. He has rogues! Don't fucking lie. Toad comes up a lot. Toad does not come up one damn time. A moge all the time. He comes up when people go over his face in the character select screen. That's when he comes up. Yeah.

Is he a mushroom in there? He tips his hat. He's based off fungi. And you need the top of a fungi, the cap as it's called. Toadette implies sex to these creatures, which implies back shots. That's such a leap. It's tough. How is it a leap?

That's such a leap. Toad and Toadette, back shots. Why does the woman imply sex? Toad doesn't have hips. It's hard to think about. So hitting the back shot, there's not a lot of movement in the back shot But like the existence of a female worm does not imply the existence of worm back shots No, that's different though

I think it literally does It literally doesn't Sexual dimorphism is about back shots It's not always about back shots, you know what I had to go deep down the animal kingdom because a lot of them have back shots It's not always about back shots. Shut up, dude. Shut up. I'm not the backshot guy. I'm not the fucking backshot guy in this room. Yeah, because you're fucking bald now.

You like Mish. That's not. Don't. Yes. Well, you're a Mish lover now. Yes, I'm the freaking same as you. The fucking same. What you fucking.

Wait, what does worm sex look like? Oh, brother. I think the worms are the one that drops sperm sex. And then like the girl like throws up. I think the beauty of worm sex is that because they're they're cylinders, right? Any shot can be a back. Do we need Maya on the pod, actually? Yeah, she would probably have a lot of answers.

I just watched that Curtis Scott video about how the worms used to why we're allergic to stuff. It's because back in the day, we used to, we used to poop where in the same water that we drink. And so we would drink so much back, we'd get so, we'd get so many worms in our body from drinking water that our body are really good at killing worms. And now in the future, even though we don't have

that problem, sometimes you eat like a seafood and it goes worm. And then it starts attacking it. But then there, but then you don't need to attack it because you just digest it and whatever. It's normal. And so your body attacks you. The allergy does feel like a holdover. Yeah. It's just in our evolutionary left behind. Some people are allergic to peanuts.

For instance, this young woman over here. It is crazy. Oh, I think it's going away. Really? You've been trying peanuts? I've been testing it. I've been pushing it a little further. That's dangerous, bro I don't want to hear from zipper 3 that you went to the hospital with a swollen throat If you make a fact if you make a vaccine you inject yourself first, it's tradition. I'm working on that. It wasn't the movie I'm solving the crisis. I forgot dude. I bought peanut butter That's so interesting

I put in the kitchen. Yeah. That's great. That's awesome. And I lathered it over secret appliances and I told no one about it. Now we're talking. Here we go. Now we're talking.

You didn't want to talk about basketball. I put peanut butter inside of it. You've been doing exposure therapy on me the whole time? It's small peanut oil traces everywhere. Wait, this is just paying off for me. You're just acting in my best interest. One day I'll kill you. Now you can have Nutter butters.

Oh, Nutter butters rule. Uh, dude, you know who keeps messaging me once a week? Alex smokes mid and he says one of two things or both. One, I'm not being radicalized, motherfucker. Or two, I'm not about to have a shootout with the police. No, that boy is so close. He's so close. Because he'll get on his tick tock algorithm and it takes four swipes.

And he's like, now it's like Mexico is hiding an alien ship. Yeah. Oh, he's on conspiracy. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, that boy believes in just bullshit. He'll do the thing where he's like, I'm just asking questions, dude. And you know he's joking, but you know he's also not. Yeah. Like he is. He literally is wondering about the US just asking questions about it. He's only asking specific questions, I think.

He's never asking like other bad questions. Let's Alex never heard of Occam's razor. Never really. That's doesn't seem like the type. Remember, cat or any of the fun? I brought up that court case about like emulation or whatever. He's like, how do you know shit like that, dude? And I'm like, I don't know, it's really-

You just gotta- you just gotta find out about it. He's so surprised. But now he's educating me on the aliens. But you give him a- but you give him a fucking a trap beat? Give him a trap beat. And he knows it's gonna be big. No, I gotta defend a bit here, cause you also give him a but you give him a fucking a trap beat You're my trap and he knows it's not I got a defendant bit here because you also give him an iron man challenge He beat that shit in 16 hours That hard that he isn't that really hard. He did ask you to take you 50. It took me well 50s a lie

Okay, cuz I slept so it's more like you had for any one sleep Well, you couldn't beat it before going to bed. Well, like my stream was continuous so people are counting my hours live not my time What they shouldn't count your sleepy time I agree but that's what everyone when they reference it References the time of my stream. Did you count Alex's? He didn't do it straight. No, no one did it straight except for me You know, nobody does it like me. Well, they should count his the way they count. Thank you, but they don't don't know How many hours did it actually take you then you 30 complainer Still double small smaller than 50 though relative. Well true Isn't that funny more than 50 over half of really long and 50 hmm and

So well anyway, I feel bad because I was mean to him yesterday, too What'd you do? No, cuz we were playing playing, I was playing Poly Bridge and then I went upstairs and then Nick was joking and was like, dude, if Alex tried to play this game and then I made that joke on stream and then Alex just pops on stream and he goes, what did you say? You said this? I would say, yeah, because we were watching Poly Bridge and Alex was like, what's this? And I was literally just like, don't worry about it. I was imagining him playing the game and just being like, chat, what the fuck do I do?

Yeah, he's not an engineer. Bro, this shit's boring. Dude, it's like you watch him play Poly Bridge, you come back five minutes later and he's just watching YouTube videos of monkeys. Alex would message me, yo, do you want to play Poly Bridge on the stream tonight? And I'd be like, sure. And then I'd show up and five minutes in, he would just watch YouTube videos and we wouldn't do it. He'd be like, yo, this chimp is eating a grape. Yeah, we're gonna watch that instead. Poly Bridge does rule though. What happens in that game? Do you just you gotta build a bridge and if it if you don't build it right it can break and you have to build it

We have to build it so like a car can drive over it. But what's the constraint? You have to be a civil engineer It's different. You have a budget and you have materials and materials are have different levels of strength and different cost. There's different levels and sometimes a plane comes through you have to make a hydraulic bridge and other times you have to make a rope bridge. Right it'll be like a plane's coming so you can't just build the bridge across the bridge has to go down now but like you have to think about like how if you go too low then you're not gonna get enough inertia for the car. It's for real freaking thinkers. The car can't make it. It's for real freaking thinkers. Do you guys see uh Beba Doobie's beefing with NBA Youngboy? Beba Doobie yeah. It's Beba Doobie. It's for real frickin' thinkers. Do you guys see, uh, Beba Doobie's beefing with NBA Youngboy? Beba Doobie, yeah.

It's Beba Doobie. It's Beba Doobie. Baby Duh-bub-bub. I think, why did I think you were right? Sometimes I'm right. I've had a great day. Everyone's agreeing with me. I've been right a lot.

And you're bald. Beba Doobie. We're looking 30 at the moment. Can we, can we look this up, Zipper? Maybe an interview where she says it herself? Do you know about this? Oh, her name. My only frame of understanding is that in the SoCal Melee Boys Discord,

Cliché keeps posting that he doesn't like that people are being mean to her on Twitter, and it's been in his life. My bad. Yeah, Cliché and her are connected spiritually. But yeah, she's beefing with Youngboy. All I'm saying is you hate to see it. Oh, it's got, I think LeBou is right. Now that I think about it.

And I appreciate that because when I looked at her name, I now think Slime's right. We're all jumbled up. Because it's B-E-A-B-A-D. What the fuck do you guys want from me? I only heard it the way she said it. I actually listen to her music. Me too. That's the difference.

Me too. What's your favorite song? The Perfect Pair. Thank you for asking. No, it's actually not. That's the funny thing. It's just the only song you know. It's my favorite.

It's the only one you know. It's my favorite. It's also, what does a check mark mean? What does a check mark mean? I mean, it's downloaded. It means downloaded. That's what that means. Yeah, that's the only one.

That's what that means. You don't even have fucking beaches. You suck. You suck. She has a... You suck... You suck ass. You suck. I don't suck ass. I don't suck ass. You're fucking top 40 Andy and it's gross. I'm not a top 40 Andy. I also like Gloosong. Yeah, obviously. Gloosong rules. I'm tired of this, bro. I'm more tapped in than you guys. It's disgusting. That's... Anyway, yeah, it's... Don't look at... Don't say some shit. You didn't even know Marques eats it twice. Marques eats it twice, bro.

You mean in Severance? No, in a different show. Marques eats it... I just saw... Marques eats it in and out. I just saw him... Yeah, man. That's all for this week. I just watched that last night. Spoiler alert if you watch Severance, but Marques is going to spell the alphabet two

different languages. This show is so cool, man. Are you talking about the Yard podcast? I love Seference. Something happened this week is there's a, there's, I queued up, I queued up a mogi and I get, you roll somebody as a teammate. There's a guy in the Discord server named Yang and he's a big Yard fan and we got put on the same team. So he's super excited. And at the beginning of the mogi, he posts his Spotify wrapped and it shows that he listened to more yard than music

last year. Wow. That's impressive. Makes sense because you finish your hour and a half of music. It can be a lot. Right. If you listen to every episode, you're talking. It means you like music less than you like podcasts, which I think is weird. And it gets weird. No, I think it means that music and podcasts are used in similar times of your life.

You're driving, you're at work. I listen to more podcasts and music. Do you think I'm weird? Yeah, I do. Oh my dude. Oh, you look good as fuck. It's so annoying. Everyone see.

Do it this way. Do you think it looks weird? That's pretty good. It looks so excellent. Everyone doesn't like that. Go to blink 182 feeling this and go to 10 seconds and tell me that doesn't look like Ludwig. We didn't even need to pull it up. It doesn't.

Do it at home. It fucking doesn't. And tell me that doesn't look like Ludwig. It doesn't. You're wrong. I'm sorry. You lost this one. Okay, what were we talking about?

So he on your team. Yeah, he got on my team. We've played together in the same lobbies before. And what he'll do sometimes is like people share clips of gameplay of like insane stuff that happens while the event is going on, because you always have a break between races. He shares he shares clips, a fully framed clips from OBS. So he has his webcam up whenever he shares a clip.

He's just he looks almost exactly like you he's got beard He's totally bald and my favorite things about his clips is he'll post something where he gets like Hanously fucked up for like 10 seconds, but he's absolutely deadpan the whole time So I've rolled this guy's my teammate is it good. He's like pretty pretty good. Yeah, we're around He's probably like a little better than me But I'm tanking this event like I am on track to have literally my worst event of the entire season out of 200 events And he is having the event of a lifetime like he is hard carrying me and it is super super hard to do that in And I'm like 10. I think we're like eight or 10 races in out of the 12. And he's on, he's at, we're at eight races and he's already broken 100 points,

which is amazing. Because if you break a hundred by the end of 12, that's amazing. And I have like less than, I have like 15 points. That's so bad. Which is like the amount of points that you'd hope to have after like maybe two races one or two races and He's posting like, you know, he's just excited and like encouraging me the whole time like he's just pumped that we're playing together

You're like a soft dick and he's like, yeah, yeah, it's gonna get bigger And I'm just like apologizing and he does so well that we win the event still, which is in this format is like almost impossible to do. And I'm telling my friends, I'm like, I'm getting carried by a yard fan who like listens to the show more than music. Like this is fine. This is this is the worst case scenario. Probably why he showed up. He locked in. Well, it's crazy he showed up, right?

Because you would you'd imagine he's just comes to nerves there. Yeah, you answer me in the Genesis and Sydney Sweeney is my teammate. I'm give me mango. I'm walking in. Give me mango I'm walking in. You're Sydney fucking Sweeney. He wants to bounce on it. He carried so hard I felt so bad that I sent him merch after I'm losing my executive powers. I was like, I owe this person. Cause I didn't know about this. This is off the back of like, I'm on a mega down streak where I've only, I've lost like the past like 10 or 15 events before this. And he did everything in his power to like break the streak basically for me.

And I'm like, this guy deserves at least like a free hat or something. What do you get for winning an event? Like some points for it. You get like MMR. It's like, yeah, you go up and down and nor I've I've been tanking. Do you get equal points? Yes. Yeah. That's sick. So I know sure. That MMR is a doubles MMR or like a two. It's not like is that your solo MMR?

You know, I solo queue MMR. That is crazy. It works that way. It's not like Rocket League. Yeah, so I went up. That's sick. I went up and he saved me. Yeah, you're basically- It's so funny cause he- You're Discord Kitten.

I was Discord Kitten. Yeah, you're in a sleepy channel. Bald Yard fan saved his Discord Kitten. You have to ask your fan to boost you. It's like, you're like over his shoulder and it's fucking like D-Day and Normandy and he's just carrying you Man, I asked Northern Lion if he knows the people in the yard podcast and one of you is going to shit yourself You're gonna have to figure out a problem a solution for that problem because one of you has been hurt here

Well, it should be me because I'm not wearing me undies at the moment. So it's better to shit them I'd rather shit my normal underwear than the great me undies. That's a good call well Unfortunately for you. He didn't know you were on the pot. He said you me slime Aiden and one other man What are you wearing right now? What do you got? I've just I've just shit a pair of just fucking normal name-brand box Yuck, but now I need new underwear that maybe, I don't know, handles the problem a little bit better. Well, let's ask someone who Northern Lion knows to do this read, because that'll appeal to more people

broadly, Aiden. Well, I think besides the underwear, you might be able to put on even a few things, like some joggers, some hoodies, some onesies. Anything you might have shit on during that. Because the shit went up my back, Aiden. Did the shit go on your shirt? Yeah, it's all over the back of my Batman shirt Nick that's disgusting that's disgusting and they come in extra small for you

I think the thing about it is I think Nick he's worried when he shits his pants he's worried about if he puts on something new if it was sustainably sourced. Do you know why Northern Lion probably didn't recognize you? He probably hasn't seen you strutting around in the super soft Micromodal fabric if you took a picture yourself put on Twitter of you adjust me undies He would be like I know that guy Do you think I should send him a photo of me and a lot a lot of clothes? I think you know, I think you should post a before photo covered in shit right now

After photo you only in me undies. And I'm all clean and awesome. And say, hey Northern Lion, I'm Nick. I say, I want to meet you. I want to meet you. With just the before and after. With just the before and after. Would you prefer if I showed up at your house in the before or after outfit?

Yeah, well, all of that, things happening to that man, notwithstanding. Where do I go get these underwear? Nick, good things come in big packages at MeUndies. Get 20% off your first order plus free shipping on orders of $75 or more at MeUndies.com slash zipper. That's where. Yeah, use promo code zipper.

Promo code zipper and Northern Lion will guaranteed know you if you go to MeUndies.com slash zipper and use code zipper. He'll know you now. And which one of you is Northern Lion? Yeah! And we end the ad read. I'm on top. I'm on top. Yeah. Be honest. Cover from the outside in.

That's that's great. I'm glad you got carried by someone who didn't deserve didn't deserve it. I mean, to be honest, I think that's like the dream for them, right? Because like if Aiden's playing really well, the dream for the animals that would get into your league games when you were on your climb Was it the dream for them? Carrying him no one carried me in a get sick carried a single time not once that's fucking crazy It's just fucking real. It's just me batting a thousand. Mm-hmm

Thousand you can't even lie your stats were pretty my side of four four four KDA Do you still have carried a couple point four four final on my final push in Valorant? That's it felt it felt good because I looked at like my final day of games to immortal and I'm like, I'm fucking I'm fucking Well, I like 38 and fucking 20 bro. That fella. I am that fella With a with an even when I'm not playing well You know I'll turn it around cuz I'm hitting that R button at the right time I'm a god at League you don't gotta talk to me like that ever again. You're plat. You were plat. Huh you were plat It doesn't work

It worked on Leslie and Mee Young. Yeah, cuz after I went bald if I started to diss at them they would flinch Yeah, were you doing that before you were bald? No, no, it kind of felt I felt right. It felt right when I began because you're walking outside to their uber and I was walking to my car and then I was like Right and they were scared. They were scared and I was like I didn't have power. It was dark. Yeah It was dark. Yeah, I would freaking it was fun It was dark. Yeah. It was dark. Yeah. Yeah. I would freaking it was fun Well, okay, what if they made maybe like what if they made like an Among Us mod and except and you're on the ship You're in Lumen

Yo Roaming the halls of Lumen you got you got you got to do numbers like Marques You got to drag numbers into the box like Marques and you gotta eat the box like Marques You gotta eat the box. You gotta eat twice It's Among Us, but when you're in the Imp like Marcus. You gotta eat the box. You gotta eat twice. You gotta eat the box. It's Among Us, but when you're in The Impostor, you're just eating. You're a milkshake. No, you eat the box,

and that's how the kill animation goes. It's just you eating the box, and it pops up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It puts you under the wheel. And it's two Among Us characters eating each other out really slow. Yeah. A realistic way.

In a tent. Dude. You know the I think you should leave sketch where he's feeding the egg on his computer? Yeah, he's what that's what they do it loom it all day That's what among us is I think I said the exact same thing. Can you touch this? It's growing back so fast shut up, bro. I haven't touched it yet. Yeah against the grain. You got a good Shut up, bro. I haven't touched it yet. Yeah against the grain. You got a good

Fuck is that? You it was like You know it was like you should feel it off the offer. I think I've done it. Yeah, I felt you. He comes. I have come out of the shower. He's at my house and I say, touch my head. And I was very jarring for people like me and Nick to see and feel what's going on. Me and Nick have a hard time dealing with people. Tall people, what is the category?

Yes, we're both in it. Yeah, I think there's a way that we're clear. I can't think of one thing to group you two into. I literally can't. Really? Love and hearts. One thing. It's actually really hard.

I guess Yard podcast members, but we're also bad. You both have N's in your first name. There we go. That's what it is. A weird grouping, I would say. I guess we got there. You also have one, though. Oh, tough.

You guys got eyes. You also have one though. Oh tough You guys got eyes swine swine Yeah, the other when he got shaved I was on the couch tonight before before anyone said it on stream before people were tweeting I mean I said out loud. I was like I'm the last haired member because I literally forgot he has hair I Just from I just remember I think of him as bald now. And you know, it's funny because some people will think of you only as bald and some people will think of you as anything but bald.

And Leslie amazingly did both in one night. And that was the what's the other guy? Hachi, she had Hachi. Hey, Hachi. Yeah, you know, Hachi when my? Yeah, you were gonna say Heihachi. When my original haircut. Because the idea was I went blindfolded, I let Fuseli cut my hair however she wanted and she cut me like, Heihachi. Oh, that guy's from Tekken? Tekken, yeah.

It's funny, we were doing 20 questions and you were like, is he from before 2000? And weirdly enough, yeah, because that's how old Tekken is. So he's like from 1995. I was not getting there. Yeah, it also looks like Swampert. And that was a really good one to find out. I can't wait to see your numbers, bro. What a study.

What a study. You know what? Bro, you should do like an NL like spoof stream. Oh, little square camera. You wear glasses. I wear glasses. I don't know. It's gonna be weird.

Do you think that, do you think we'll go down? Oh, our viewership. You wear glasses. I wear glasses. I was kidding. I don't know. It's gonna be weird. Do you think that, do you think we'll go down? Oh, our viewership. There's, look, there are a non-zero amount of people that watch Cause Ludwig's Handsome and they're not listening right now. We can say whatever they want. You're all schizophrenic and you're gonna- I guess I gotta compensate.

What? Oh, what? I thought you were trying to- I don't think... Why are you laughing? Guess I gotta compensate. I guess I... I guess I gotta compensate. It's the way you're saying the word compensate. What? It's the only way you're saying it.

Why? It's just when you laugh it feels bad. Wait, how's he saying it? Guess I gotta compensate. And then you do like a... Do the lovey thing. I guess I gotta compensate. Wait, he looks good right now. Guess I got a calm He looks good right now, I think he looks he's compensated Gonna be some fucking freaks Twitter picture. Yeah Fuck yeah, that rules dude. Well. I did my vtuber stream yesterday. Yes, And there was a comment. I saw your cat girl. This is genuinely the first live stream I've ever watched of his.

And I was like, that sucks. That is nuts. Because there was a post on your subreddit. I was like, is it weird that I just like Ludwig's VTuber more than like him as, you know, on camera? And I'm like, you're just it's just that's what you want. You it's not weird, but it's funny. That's what it took for you to realize that.

Like Catboy's. Yeah, I think it's weird. I don't think liking VTubers is weird. I think if you have a streamer and then they become like Ludwig and they use a VTuber stream, you're like, I prefer it. I think it is inherently weird. I also, you know, I think we disagree. Why was the fucking train interview show?

100% disagree. 100% disagree. Why? 100 is this, the fucking train interview show? 100% disagree. 100% disagree. Why? 100% disagree. Uh, cause you can enjoy how so- Cause I think when people are under VTuber masks, they act different. And you can enjoy how they act. Are they the real them or the fake them?

I think- Are they fucked up is the first question. When I'm fucked up, I do think they're more loose. They're more loose. I think this is- you're reading into this too much. It's merely a Rorschach. People who like VTubers like to see a reduced character that they can easily connect with.

It's like looking at a smiley face. No. Instead of a human being. Genuinely, I almost just said it. Because that was so dumb. How is it dumb? I feel like it's not dumb. You basically just said a VTuber is a smiley face emoji.

That's what you said. It's closer to a smiley face so it's easier for the person to connect. This is crazy. This is crazy. Am I the only one? If you are looking at a VTuber, let's say you're looking at a human being. I have a lot of differences with that human being. You know what you just said? People like Texas because it's the closest to a Doritos shape.

Pfft. I bet you. I bet you there is someone who is like that. Or it kind of looks like a cowboy hat. No one likes Texas. Vtubing? Vtubing. Okay, when you see, when there's a fleshie. Who tries Vtubing. When there's a fleshtuber who tries Vtubing. Okay. When you see when there's a flesh, when there's a fleshy who tries Vtubing. When there's a flesh tuber who tries Vtubing. They usually, if they do it enough, act different in the Vtuber world because they feel more loose because they're not on camera.

It's like that one tech and streamer who said the N word a bunch. It's like that. I feel like that happens a lot with Vtubers. Why do you feel that? Name one. After school Sophie. Who's that? That was the person that did that. Is it a tech streamer? Yeah. Name two.

I can't. It only takes one. I think I've done this. I've done like no face cam streams. And when I do no face cam streams, sometimes people are like, oh dude, why are you funnier today? Really? Yes, because you can be a little zanier.

You can like, I'm thinking less about because like sometimes when I'm flesh tubing, you're saying you're saying your mental stack is shrunk because you're left to think you're able to be. You can release your inhibition. I think that's you should. You should not call it. I don't want to hear about your flesh tube. When I'm flesh tubing. I mean, I have a flesh tube for a writer.

That was already kind of the joke you made. And he just made it really crass. You made it real. Fuck. I really think I'm that wrong. That's fucking crazy. Because I think the people that frequent VTubers are a certain type of people and they are exactly

Thing in 2025 you don't think there's something to be said about what he's saying that like the it's like simple simplification of emotion through You give this man way too much easier to interact with slime Slum the terrorists apparently is running back the Sycuno bit in 2025. You guys have been trying to go in on VTubers as if it's AI. You're just trying to bet on the next big thing, but it hasn't happened. No, I'm sorry. Ah, good fall.

Culturally, culturally, this is like when Windows made a tablet based operating system because tablets are going to be big. Yes, it's so out of touch. He's such a boomer that he thinks that the people who watch VTubers are 40 year old incels who are jerking their shit to anime girls every day. I think the incels can be any age. And that's beautiful. But that's what you think. Maybe 40 is not the right answer.

And that and that. And so you think and you think they're just lower IQ people because they don't watch Fleshy's. I lower IQ. I do. I do see them as weirder than me. Yes. Yes. You see them as lower. I don't I don't I don't feel that way. I don't I don't think they're weirder than me. How do you feel?

I like OK. Why do people like furries? Because they're hot. Yeah. Sorry. You answer. No. Yeah. You look at like a big awesome wolf. But, like, okay, why do people like furries? Because they're hot. Sorry, you should answer. No, yeah, you look at like a big awesome wolf with huge balls and you want to fuck that wolf. Suck its balls. To me, there's like champagne fur. You know how like some people will be like, Sonic Fox's outfit isn't even that, it's not like, that's a cheap fur suit.

And the real heads are like, that's not even like a nice suit. Sure. There's like, there's like, what's it called, there's like hierarchy in that world of like a nice suit. Sure. Either it's like, there's like, uh, what's it called? There's like hierarchy in that world of like, who's a real one. I feel like there's probably a similar thing with V-tubing where it's like, when you just put on the V-tube thing for one stream, it's like, that's not a V-tuber. You're not a real V-tuber head. And so to me, it's like, it's like, uh, it's a world, like a furry world.

It's like, you have a, you have an, you have an identity that's in this imaginary plane and you get to and you get to watch someone who's in that same world as you. Not that the fan is also a VTuber, but that it just feels like it's almost like a version of role play. He just changed my mind. Dude, it is- By contextualizing VTubing through furries, my mind has been changed.

I think furries is- I personally don't love that comparison. Why? Because I think furry has a sexual connotation. No, not always. I think there's a big part of the policy. Isn't that the whole thing is like the core, like regardless of the sexuality or not, the core idea behind being a furry is that it gives you this Window into being more comfortable with yourself and personality and identity

But I think it seems like your argument for V to be was this no no no no no it allows you to be more Loose and be yourself Sorry, you're okay Have you been debated? Have you been defiant? I've been defiant. By a bald! Somebody off the hood! No! Yuck! Yuck! Just because some of the furries fuck in hotel rooms doesn't mean that the underlying thesis is not the same. Can we not fuck in hotel rooms anymore? Are we not men?

Are we not born to fuck in a hotel room? Gentlemen, please! Furries, above speaking. You can fuck in an hotel room. Me and furries? Fucking an hotel room. The furry, the furry, the furry difference is that they're not doing it generally for an audience. They're not streaming. There's not a big subsection of streaming furries. I'm sure there are some, but they're not popular.

I think, hold on, but I think the only- No, I continue. The only reason that that's the case I have a quick question that I think he's interrupts I will and I and I will is it don't you think if people had the ability to present as VTubers in public That's what I'd start with People had the ability to present as VTubers in public as they do in their furry costume Don't you think a lot of these people would also do that? I think you're missing the point.

I think furry culture. I think it's kind of like. That's a good call. Sorry, sorry. Credit cutting you off? I'm sorry. Is it credit cutting you off? Go ahead, terrorists.

Whoa, I think, look, I think, you know how with Melee, it's like before you could play online, it's like less people were playing because it's like the layers of friction you need to get a physical device, an object in the room, like a CRT and a console. But now you can play Slippy and way more people. Furry is kind of similar.

VTuber, it's all on the computer. It's all digital. You can get your VTuber model made and you can just, and you just need a webcam. An identity fantasy. But the furry, that's a costume. That's the thing, it's a physical item you have to wear. Now you have to hear, through a physical item you have to wear. Now you have to hear through your mic,

you have to mic the inside of your helmet. I was gonna say it's about miking. It's actually that's a hugely- I think it's the physicality of what it takes to stream as a furry versus a VTuber. Well, I think furries exist in a digital space. It's usually just in VR chat. So it exists, but it's just not a medium.

It's just generally not a medium that's made for other people. It's made for like yourself to be a part of this community. OK, it's very inclusive. Vtubing is explicitly a broadcast. Yes, yes, yes. So I think the comparison for me for Vtubing is it's like WWE. Hmm. Because they are characters

who exist and are born through their debut stream, they don't exist prior to this. You don't know prior to this. You don't know the person behind the VTuber. You never do in real VTuber world. That makes sense. So they're brought on usually in part of a group, very similar to WWE, right?

Whether it's Hololive or VShow. I guess it's weird because a lot of, from my understanding, a lot of VTubing has been like commodified or is like supported by large companies behind it now. But from what you were saying you were saying that Vtubing allows the person to be more themselves and be more expressive so isn't that antithetical to what you're saying now? No I think that's just an aside point I'm saying that the first thing okay that it being like WWE is explaining why the fans aren't weird to slime.

OK, the the you can express yourself more is me explaining why, like there's some advantages to a VTuber stream versus a Fleshtube stream. Like I think why it could be a more entertaining product as well. Counterpoint. Oh, Fleshtube VTube. Right. That's not bad. That's gross. It's like a penis in V tube. Right. That's not bad. That's gross. It's like a penis in a vagina. Right. It makes you think. It really makes you think. Because you need both to make a baby tube.

To do back shots, Ludwig, you need the flesh to end the V tube. It's a sexual dimorphism, just like apes. In conclusion, I think slime is a boomer and doesn't understand why people would enjoy VTubers And I don't think you would get there even if you were exposed to maybe some of its high watch CFG And sometimes you use this damn pay VTuber. I get it. What if it was a Different how he doesn't use a face cam because it's closer to your argument because it's an indie VTuber and it's not the same. It's not the same. And not to fall.

A24 ass Vtuber. Indie Vtubing. Indie Vtubing. Is that more akin to being a furry? I'm saying like when Scarra pulls up his dragon to play. Whoa. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Shit. My God. Is he struggling? He is a dragon Vtuber. When he pulls it up to play a game, because he doesn't want to be on face cam, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But you're not really tapping into what

people love about VTubing, which is the culture of it, which is the debut streams, which is making the solo songs, the concerts, and then the retirement eventually, where they never stream ever again. I concede that you know way more about this than I do and that you're making really good points What is the British is cuz I'm bald now Twin what you just Okay, you just described is like damn I didn't know all that and it actually makes a lot of sense

It's not what if it was what okay imagine vtuber and It's just a monkey. It's like a photo real. I'm there looking monkey. I'm there What kind of monkey what kind of monkey though? Monkey apes don't have tails. I'll say it's like an ape an ape like a chimp or like a gorilla Help me out girls little like a chimp like a chimp like a chimp chimp and and every time and And the chimp is just playing like Valorant and shit. Just playing video games. But whenever he like dies, he just starts screaming like an ape.

And eating only bananas. But there's all sorts of awesome lore. Like where he was born and then what. Born in the jungle. How he found like a computer and built it. And then one day, like would you be into that? Would you watch the shit out of that? No, I don't think so. I think it was funny. I think if can the chip like speak English and like make jokes

It's exactly what you want to the death that the answer is yes if you like that I I mean, I think I'd just rather watch a human being I think and then just watch a chimp, too Yeah, I'd like I'd rather watch a chimp on YouTube like eating food and then watch like a human stream. Right. I don't need the marriage of these things. I think you're probably right because there was a very like, or somewhat big VTuber who did just a Shiba Inu. Similar to everything you're saying. But it was like, it was uncanny valley for both. It's like this is not my dog. My I should give a webcam to like all the animals like in their little respective rooms and cages and stuff and then just put higher streamers to come play video games. But the webcam is the animal and it's like they're playing and she should have like a hundred different streams live all the same time.

People it's like, oh, my you guys see the fucking the rare donkey that's almost extinct hit like a 4k. Yeah She has rare donkeys Must yeah, she has a sanctuary. Yeah, it's a sanctuary. It's not there. Where is it? It's got two of every animal He has a blue donkey so they can hit back shot. Yeah, she's currently building the arc right now Yeah, and blue donkey is about to die, but it's nasty. How do you know she doesn't? I would ask immediately. Because I've been there. Okay, you looked at every animal?

Yes. Oh, you looked at every animal. It's a big sanctuary. I looked at every animal. You watched the whole thing. Yeah, I guess you watched the whole thing. Because the rare donkeys are in the place of the pyramid that the Taurus can go. Yeah.

Okay. Alright, Mr. Beast. You're a dumbass. Here's the rare valuable last two donkeys on earth. Come take a look. Yeah. Oh, just look at them in range of killing them. We'd like you. We'd let you do that. Yeah.

You know what you're saying? How dangerous you are if you sneeze in front of one. Oh, my God. You give it COVID probably. You know what? When I went into the the bird cage, I had to clean my shoes. Yeah. Yeah. You have to do it. The Gibbon sanctuary to clean my shoes so I wouldn't infect them. Yeah. And when you buy eggs, what needs to be on the package to make sure the chickens were treated properly

Trick question. It's not one. It's just regular question. You've got me With the eggs it says cage free no handles were harmed in the making of this egg no Certified humane. Certified, certified humane. Yes. Certified humane by the USA. I don't know some fucking group that does it. Is it a group or is it a government agency? It's a group. OK.

It might be like Humane Society. Is that the animal oversight? Or is it? I don't know. It doesn't matter now. What do you fucking mean? Because they're saying if it's a cage free, if it's an open range, Is it not the animal? What's the oversight? It's not the animal. Stop asking me questions. It doesn't matter now. What do you fucking mean? It doesn't matter now because they've been fired. I'm just saying if it's a cage free,

if it's an open range, all that's bullshit. It's malarkey. Can I still get that bird flu if it's humane? You can. You can get it. I presumably not. They wouldn't sell it. I'm saying I could brand the top of your penis area

with certified humane. Yep. And just make up an agency. No, you can't. That's what I'm saying. It needs to be from the agency. You can't say what this is, this group. You don't know their structure. It's a government agency.

They're really profound and good. But you don't know their funding. They're really good. We give Aiden a surgery and we make it so he can lay eggs. That'd be awesome. And then we start selling his eggs in the Patreon. Are they human sized eggs? Like baby human sized eggs?

Or they're regular chicken eggs? They're like slightly bigger than bird like if you got one of the store. You'd be like Weirdly way more double yolks like you're getting them like one every four eggs. I would not drop double. Yo, we drop double Yo, sorry way more Regular single yo Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. I dropped a big regular single yolk. Big, big yokey singles. You wouldn't have enough protein to drop that much white. Dude, I would get out the cleanest single yolks. You actually don't eat enough. No, you don't eat well enough.

If I didn't eat enough, they'd be a little light, they wouldn't be that yellow. I wouldn't double yolk. You'd also be dropping fragile shells. Oh, they would fucking- No, my shells wouldn't be fragile he what if his eggs were wet? Oh? Well, it's like help me to understand your plan sometimes. They're wet there's some time and they can't get dry Science can't explain it science can't explain Well they always come out wet oh, they're gonna come out dry it would be dry

So much just squeeze out a dry egg I would lube up and it come out of his water is like new hole How many eggs you think have been up the butts of a human total? Seven number like so many seven more than thousands and thousands and thousands. I want to say 700,000 700 thousand board peasants for a long time in human That's so I think there's someone walking on this earth right now who's over a thousand I bet there's someone in this podcast right now who has one in their ass

Even if you're talking like are we talking genuine eggs or cuz we made a toy now that resembles an egg That's right. Let's say an egg with a yolk inside. OK, yeah, I would say 700,000. Domesticate chickens. How long it's it hasn't fixed for so long. I would say 500 B.C. We domesticated the chicken. OK, guess is I don't know. Oh, my God, I have no idea.

We domesticated horses like 10,000 B.C. Oh, I'm not even close. If we doesn't, but the domesticated horse is like 2000, 3000 B.C. I think. Jippin's. Oh, what are you reading close if we doesn't but the masquerade horses like 2000 with chicken. I think Chippin's oh What are you reading? What is it boy? Hey, it looks like there's some controversy here. Mm-hmm always 7,000 to 10,000 years ago Wow, so I was like far off So we're talking five thousand eight thousand here. Let's just call it. Let's call it seven thousand, right? So much older than I thought you're going seven thousand. Let's just say it. Let's call it 7,000 right so much older than I thought you're going 7,000. Let's just say 7,000. I mean

Bare minimum and this is assuming only a couple a year. You're looking at five digits It's a it's an astronomical first in the first how many years you said and in 7,000 years I'm saying oh, you know I'm saying and how many when we domesticate chickens how long until someone puts an egg in there? Oh, I'm saying I'm saying day I'm not kidding bro. You're one. I'm saying day one! I'm not kidding, bro. You're looking at at least two eggs per year. We're curious animals.

Oh, well, okay, here's the thing. If it's 7,000 years of chicken- Was it butt before mouth? And they're doing- Wait, question. No. Are you talking about people who successfully put the egg in without it cracking? Or people who just go for it? No, no, no, no, no.

We don't care about the success of our girls. That doesn't matter. It's just more of the entrance. It just has to go in. It doesn't have to. I think if they like, if they're like, I wonder what this would feel like on like the rim of my butthole, that doesn't count. But if they put it in and it cracks, then it goes in. They gotta get through. Why do dogs human tussle too?

How much of the egg has to go into the ass for this to count for you, like 30%? I think it's just like, the butthole has to open because you've started to put something inside. Like, oh, it's like 10%. Here, let's say this, it needs enough of the egg needs to go in that if you left your hand, it's not Let me ask you this time you put 10% of an egg in your butt

Are you really walking around being like no, I've never put an egg in my butt. It's a good Put 10% of it in and then it just falls out once you let it go Is that really putting an egg in your yes? Yeah Yeah, and then and then like Gort the Surf is trying to explain this. That's stolen, that's stolen, Ballard. For those who have put 30% or more of the egg in. If Gort the Surf sees you put 10% of egg in your butt, and then you walk around the village being like,

no, I didn't, yeah, no, I didn't. You're looking at this all wrong. You're looking at this all wrong. You're looking at it from the perspective of people who don't put eggs in their butts, who would immediately say, oh, you put an egg in your butt, but I'm looking at it from the perspective of

person who is experienced. I wouldn't want if he only puts 10% in and I've put fucking 40 eggs fully in. You've literally just become like the furries who are saying Sonic Fox doesn't count. Yes I'm a champagne egg in my ass. You're a real egg butt head or whatever. I'm at the top of the cast system in this scenario. Well, that doesn't change what you're saying is like, at the end of the day, this one is a binary. If the egg enters your ass, that's one.

If it doesn't, that's zero. Let us know down in the comments if you've dropped one before. If you've dropped, if you just... Some people probably dropped an egg in their ass accident. My asshole. I'm thinking about it. Gaping. Yep. Okay. Lierd. Larger than the circumference of the egg. At the back of Mark S's head. And you put the you put the egg through the gap a little bit but it's not touching any of the hole. I've had a session in the wall. I thought about this. Did I put an egg in my ass?

Yes, yes, yes. It's like it's as if it's like a laser, like a barcode at the supermarket. Did I put the gun in my mouth? That's in his mouth. While you're bald, it scares me. Thank you. Because I think you'll do it. You're right.

Thank you for the visual. That convinced me. You've done a great job convincing me of stuff today. Hey, well, that's it for us. Hey, leave that out of us. We got a patron. Dude, it looks like you're on training day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do the Patreon.

We got a patron if you want to check it out. You don't have to. You don't have to, but, but, but, he might use that. It's up to you. You make the call. Make the call. Okay? Oh, Ludd. Yeah.

Oh, Ludd. Audio listeners, if you're still here, it's a gun alright guys. She made that look real alright guys Hey, we're out and you'd enjoy your life