The Yard - Ep. 20 - Amouranth says Yes to our Idea
Episode Date: November 17, 2021Hey there Yardigans, this weeks episode is filled with heaps of exciting tales. Amouranth tells us some exciting news, Ludwig shows us his testicles, and Slime drops his wildly hot take on Sykkuno....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So Aiden, so looking at Ludwig's fish shoes, Ludwig, you're going to lift your feet up for us.
You guys want to see something?
No.
Oh, come on.
Flash his balls?
Don't do that.
Did you just flash your balls?
Oh, man. I missed it. i missed it yeah archie has to
look at that i have a good angle on my camera i yeah that's well i think one it definitely is
footage of your balls now exists out of our hands that's right do you understand that in archie's
hands to destroy you if he wants i don't think it destroys him. You know I have a game controller molded after my balls. They're not
your balls. I sent SickNasty
13 pictures, a full panoramic
video of my balls
to model that after. You can import
this into Blender. Yeah. Yeah. Enjoy.
Yeah, it can be in video games now.
My balls. I did like that
controller and how
much it made the rounds
because I got sent the picture and like the
concept such a long time ago that i forgot about it sick nasty made this as an award for that among
us tournament he hosted like what feels like a year over a year ago yeah i think we lived in the
old house yeah we didn't live here it was about 18 months ago and he said like oh ludwig thought
this would be this would be funny if I made this.
The actual conversation went like this.
And it was.
I win the tournament.
He goes, hey, so like the award's like a controller because I make controllers.
What controller do you want?
And me, because I was like, I don't give a fuck about a controller.
I just got my Nesmod God.
You're a bit of a bad boy.
I said, give me a dick and ball controller.
And he goes, what?
And then I never replied.
Yeah.
It's like young Link going like what what and
then adult link a year later and it's like nasty and he's like what's up yeah and then he became
alpha he messaged me and i think maybe anthony as well and he's like okay so ludwig sent this
and then sent nothing else when i responded so do you think this is okay to make? And I said, probably.
I love deferring to Aiden.
The fucking, the worst king of the squares ever.
But before we do that, welcome to the yard.
We haven't really gave a proper.
Welcome to the goddamn.
Bring in.
Hey, what's up, Mr. 10K?
Hello?
Hello. Hey, 10K.
10K's all around.
Did you touch your balls?
10K's all around. With that hand your balls? 10K's all around.
With that hand that you just touched?
No, I didn't. Don't look at the camera.
Don't gin from the office us.
Just look at us.
Don't look at the camera.
Stop it. You motherfucker.
You motherfucker.
You know what? Good stuff.
Salty. I felt the salt on it.
A little salty. Hydrated my fingers.
Dude, that ball ball so we are at
main stage this weekend and uh which is a smash tournament and that ball sack controller so
sick nasty comes up to me i don't know it's him at the time and he just comes up and says can i
show you something no context has not introduced himself and i said yes and then he pulls out the controller balls first and points them at me like dude no no and i
literally went dude yes and i held it and i started laughing and i'm like has slime seen this yet he's
like no i'm like you have to go show yeah do not do what you just did to me don't contextualize it
just go show him yeah same thing i was like yeah sure i was like yeah just like give me the controller
i'll give it to i'll make sure that gets it but i didn't have a controller at this event so the
only one i had was this one so i'm like well i guess i'm gonna go play fucking friendlies so i
i go and i realize that i have aiden's controller like on me and i'm like oh i can go use that
controller so i go use that controller and i learned aiden's controller is fucking terrible
it's actually unreal that he uses it. It's a miracle.
Mine is great.
So I sit down next to who I don't know
is like a player who's like seated like top 50 of the event.
And we start playing and he's really good
and I feel like I can't do anything.
And I'm like, oh, hold on.
I'm like, hold on.
Let me pull out my main, bitch.
I'm like, hold on.
This isn't my controller.
Do you mind if I switch?
He's like, oh, no worries.
And so I pull out the balls and and the the port of the controller is the tip of a penis yeah the plug-in
so i go like it's so graphic so i just lift it up and he looks at it like what the fuck is that
and i'm like this is my main what's up and i plug it in and i play way better you start dusting him
it's a really
nice controller. That's what it is. It's a good controller.
It's like, bro, feel that shit.
That's a good controller. You know what's funny is
there are certain setups you can't use that controller on.
What do you mean? Oh, yeah.
You can't hop on the sticks with mommy
behind the son at his first tournament.
Also, the Smash
Sisters setup.
You can't land somebody that way. Yo, you, setup. Also, when you...
You can't land somebody that way.
Yo, you need a controller?
I got you.
She's like, actually, I don't need it.
Model that through my own, and then you knock the brass balls.
Also, when you're playing, your, like, middle fingers,
depending on what you push triggers with, like, kind of touch them.
It caresses the balls.
It's, like, it's so funny because you're just playing,
and you're, like, touching the balls.
They're so veiny.
Oh, my. They're so realistic.
I tried to use it to mash and it was not a vibe.
It was not a vibe.
It was way...
You couldn't get over the balls.
It's like a wheel.
You got to put the counterbalances.
It's like weighed down at the front.
It's a running joke now though because I'll occasionally...
I was doing a sponsor stream with Doritos and I go...
I just lift up the controller from the balls and I go,
Oh, check out my controller, guys. But I don't show it. I I just lift up the controller from the balls and I go, Oh, check out
my controller guys. But I don't show it. I don't lift up. That's hard. So like half the people in
my chat know that's like at my old job, I used to make a, I used to make some graphic stuff.
Like when the, our graphic designer was overloaded, like simple Photoshop stuff that
would go around the venue. And, uh, I think everyone who's worked in like corporate graphic
design has done this where they'll put like a very, very faint, transparent image of something.
And I would just select different old people from Shutterstock
and just put them baby blended in the background.
I forget if I told it on the podcast,
what Dr. Noodle Slam did to the Dance Marathon.
No, you've told me before.
Yeah, so Dr. Noodle Slam,
who is in the Yard Discord, by the way.
He may as well be a member at this point.
Honestly, he comes up like a lot,
like a side character.
He's the null of Eamon's life.
Yeah.
He's like Gunther from Friends.
Yeah, he's recurring enough.
Rest in peace.
But he's alive.
Did Dr. Well?
Nice.
Hey, you're like Jesus, bro.
Yeah, but I'm alive alive i did everything he did but
i'm still here and he he uh in our last year uh in college he uh decided to volunteer after getting
sort of like talked into it to be the graphic designer for dance marathon which is like a
charity uh event that happens every year uh at the university of washington and seattle u and
they like sometimes they work together on it sometimes they like compete uh but that year
he got talked into doing graphic design because it's which is funny because he only does it as
like a hobby he isn't like by the way also the guy who made ever dream this man uh yeah legend
sure yeah and uh he he starts working on this he's like dude this is crazy like they weren't even
using photoshop before they were putting together images in google slides that's right yeah they're
putting stuff together in google slides like this is how bad the club was no it's easy you can move
it around really yeah there's a little box that you can make shapes with this one tool button
yeah oh dude and when i do it on my computer your computer also sees it at the same time. It's a great feature.
And he puts together a banner for the Facebook event and the promo and stuff.
And he's like, take a look at this.
He sends me an image on Facebook.
And he's like, do you see it?
I'm looking real close.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
And at like 10% opacity,
he has put a picture of Danny DeVito hanging himself in the banner for this charity
for Seattle Children's Hospital.
And no one ever found out.
No one ever noticed.
Cause he posted it.
He posted it in the group chat of like 20 plus people.
And he's like, is this good?
And everybody's like, yeah, it looks great.
He had to drop the opacity from sending it to you to sending it to the group chat.
I don't think he full committed 10%.
I don't think so.
Sam, if you still have it, send it to one of us.
On the topic of have you seen this man,
recently me and aiden uh
needed this graphic for it undisclosed yard project i won't talk about but uh i was telling
aiden like oh i really need the the have you ever seen have you ever dreamed this man aiden face
can you have can you send it to me and he's like yeah yeah and i'm like he's like uh sam is gonna
see if he like still has the file whatever i'm like oh i'm impressed that he would still have the file because you know he made it so long ago and it's like oh it's only like two months and i'm like he's like uh sam is gonna see if he like still has the file whatever i'm like oh i'm impressed that he would still have the file because you know he made it so long ago and he's
like oh it's only like two months and i'm like you only made it two months ago i thought it was
years ago and he's like oh yeah you thought he's like no he made it like two months ago and i'm
like i'm like certain i saw it two months ago and then it hit me and i was like no i was like oh
no i was like oh no oh no what if i've literally
dreamed this man did you visit the website dude you should i was fucking so scared i was like
i literally had this like visceral feeling that i saw this meme like a long time ago of amon's face
of amon's face not the regular not the regular one and i was so certain like i even
like said in like a public chat like oh this was made years ago so i don't know if we can get it
and then when he told me it was two months i was like so shocked i was so certain yeah you got
psyoped by the by the dream i did i told him i was like yeah he he made that a couple months ago but
he he he's done this for a long time like he'll just what sometimes he'll get like in the zone and like he'll spend like a couple hours on a photoshop
that like makes fun of me and he's done this for like years i've done this too a lot yeah i used
to do like victor v money like i used to high effort photoshop roasts or not even photoshop
one time for uh for in socal melee there was a there was a beef between T.O.
and the Crimson Blur.
And I had...
That T.O. ran a tournament very badly.
The Crimson Blur had not really been
involved in SoCal T.O. at all up to this point,
but everyone kind of thought he was.
So I basically spent all night
in Premiere
doing this very terribly, keyframing
this T.O.'sraming this TO's face and
Blur's face on two characters from The Wire
where it's Fruit
and Marlo, two gangsters, and Marlo's
like the leader, and Fruit's like
sorry man, I don't know what's going on
and he's like, yeah well if someone disrespects
me, damn sure there's something about it
and I made this whole shit
post, I stayed up like 5 in the morning
posted it for like 50 likes You know whole shit post i stayed up like five in the morning posted it
posted it for like 50 likes and you know what the difference between us is i did the same thing
but for i miss the old mango yeah you've always been a marketer and yeah you just oh what about
what about you got a box in me we all love that one for that too i did you make fun of you got
a box me that is one of a trilogy of songs i made ludwig i i we talked about this a lot he was so excited when he made
you got a box in me it's like it's like it's the trilogy it's the trilogy it's like the musical and
we're like we just roast this shit out of him i actually felt bad because he was like oh he really
thought this was hype and every every one of his friends was like dude what do you do hey
you got a box in me is illmatic and then then the Christmas song is like the album Nas released this year
Shit don't go sorry. It's like damn, bro. I miss you got a box
Hip-hop heads. I was the real
That's yeah when I become an artist. That's what a hard war comes up with
You you were laughed and called cringe for you got a box
of new cringe right it's like a vinyl press of it I got you this gift yeah well I got you this check
this out dude old Ludwig old Ludwig's definitely in my top five dude if if Ludwig got interviewed
by Nardwuar and I were like Ludwig what do you think of this and he just shows this asshole to
you it looks like your star doesn't it It's like a Carl's Jr. rapper in there.
I would be so honored.
Speaking of dreams, I had a dream.
Dude, I was so mad.
I woke up.
I had a dream where me, Eamon, we're all in the car.
It was actually all of us.
And Eamon is in the back seat.
And we're driving.
I'm driving.
And we see like this Lamborghini pull off the exit and then flip.
Basically, it takes like a turn too hard.
Is it a cool flip?
No, it's like a deadly flip.
It ravines.
It's like, and it starts flipping, and we're all watching.
We're like, holy shit, dude.
And I'm driving, and they're like, Eamon, can you call the cops?
And Eamon was on his phone in the back, and he's like, no.
And I was so mad at him. I'm like, why? He's's like someone else will do it and i'm like what
reasonable that's cab
and i was like and so the rest of the dream was me like we got out of the car and i looked at him
and i said you're fucking i will never look at you the same bro i can't you actually are a fucking
psychopath and you were getting mad.
You were like, no, I'm not a psychopath. Not a psychopath.
I just didn't want to do it.
Someone was going to call it.
Like, it doesn't matter.
And we were just arguing.
Did you wake up mad at him?
Yes.
Dude.
Yeah.
You're so annoying.
Because Cutie did that to me three times this week.
Yeah, but I didn't, I wouldn't like went and was mad at him in the morning.
I was going to say, this is exactly, this is, this is the, this is the boyfriend nightmare.
Three times this week, Cutie comes up to me after waking up.
She goes, I'm mad at you.
And I go, what?
She goes, in my dream, you broke up with me.
And I was like, night one.
She's like, night two, she's like, in my dream, you wouldn't let me buy a cat.
And I was like, that's real life.
And then, and then, and then.
Dream Ludwig?
Dream Ludwig?
He holds up.
She keeps saying I'm mad at me, so you know what I do?
I get her flowers. Oh, okay. know what I do? I get her flowers.
Oh, okay.
A little counterback.
I get her a large bouquet of flowers.
She sighed off flowers.
Aiden, the face he's making.
Why would you do something nice?
He could never.
Why would you do that?
In that instance?
Well, let me continue.
So I give her the flowers.
She's like, how much you spend?
This is such a big bouquet.
I was like, oh, it was like $200.
And she goes, pfft, you got ripped off.
So I got flowers
and I got roasted for it.
You know what?
She's got concussion brain.
She does have concussion brain.
She's like Dwight
in that episode of The Office
when he has a concussion
and no one knows
he starts fucking throwing up.
He's like super loopy.
They just like,
they're like,
he's weird today.
Maybe she wants a cat
because she forgot about Durs.
I keep seeing this like gray blur when I'm walking around.
Anyway, I like cats.
Can we get one?
Can we get one?
Quick update.
We went to the urgent care today because she's had headaches from the concussions.
And the doc's a super chill doctor.
He's chill?
He's chill.
He's my dream blunt rotation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He puts ice in the bong so it cools your throat.
Cutie's urgent care doctor.
Cutie's urgent care doctor, Sean Marion, and probably Bill Nye.
He takes the smelling salt off the doctor wall and just rips it.
Check this out.
I've been practicing.
But he's like a few weeks.
A few weeks of Cutie having maybe brain fog, maybe concussed.
And so I'm proud to announce that I will be assisting in cooking for Friendsgiving
this year. I will be making one turkey.
Wait, this is because...
Why?
This is not a good thing.
Let me understand this.
So she is still going to be cooking, but you're helping?
I'll do one turkey to take the load off.
Also, you decided...
But you're still having her cook.
Yeah, I'm not going to do the whole fucking deal.
She has a concussion.
You decided this
before the doctor's appointment.
You told me you were going
to cook a turkey last night
and you went to the doctor.
This is called content.
This is called
looping in things together.
If you want to take apart
the whole sausage...
It doesn't make any sense.
I agree with him.
It doesn't make any sense.
Don't fucking lie.
You shill.
Oh, we can't lie
on the podcast now?
I've never lied.
He's not bald.
Hold on.
Check this out
when people get concussions it's stuff like don't look at screens for too long like don't like
focus in on like you know like text too hard you'll get headaches and things like that nowhere
in that is it don't cook actually it is it says you can't do anything that's too thought-provoking
at all doesn't have to be things revolving screen your eyes don't hurt your mind literally it's literally
he was literally like just take like a brain vacation and don't do things that make you think
too much and then he did this yeah she's like what he's like into the audiobook listeners uh
they're smoking imaginary weed dude wait okay so so by the way, she makes a lot.
She makes so much food.
And the turkey, I would argue, you don't do much, right?
No, she brines that 24 hours, cooks it, carves it.
I guess turkeys take a long time to cook.
No, I'm going custom.
I watched one Adam Ragusea video.
I'm going to become turkey guy now.
He's the guy who made me become pizza guy.
Is this going to be like the food equivalent of you watching Adam Andra do like a V9 and
then you rip your V2?
I'm actually a phenomenal climber.
And no, it's not going to be seven par below Adam Ragusea.
I'm going to cook a great turkey too.
It's also an exponential scale, so it's probably more than seven par below.
I'm a great climber.
How's the climbing going?
I missed the last set.
It's going great, baby. I went with Connor and Bunth. I keep like, it's weird. I'm a great climber. How's the climbing going? I missed the last set. It's going great, baby.
I went with Connor and Bunt.
I keep like,
it's weird.
I'm like indoctrinating
people to climbing.
And like,
Maya was here.
I was like,
you should go climbing
next time.
She's like,
yeah, I'm down.
She'd be sick of that.
I ask everyone I encounter
if they want to go climbing,
but I have noticed
that it's not as a
full body of a workout
as I'd like.
So I started adding
a hundred squats
in the shower
to my regimen.
Why don't you climb
with like a weight belt on?
Because I can't do it normally.
It would be so fucking hard.
Like I'm struggling
with it normally.
It's more so like
my legs aren't getting
that much of a burn.
Oh, so they get a little
stick, a little chicken?
Yeah, I'm getting
tiny legs.
Atrophy.
I feel like the routes
that you have to be doing
to really get your legs in it
are like really high level.
Show the folks at home
what you're working with.
My milk?
You say you got,
no, not your milk.
What does that mean?
My milky thighs?
Oh, that.
Yeah, I guess so.
You should flash those balls again.
I might flash my balls.
Hold on, hold on.
That's very tight.
That is not flabby.
No, it's not.
Wait.
What?
Ow!
Ow!
Jesus!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Sorry.
I should have let you flap and flow.
I wanted to get in there.
It was fun for the whole family.
Hey, if you want to talk to HR, you can just kind of think about it to yourself.
Yeah.
How about you just hold that HR, bitch?
Appreciate that, guys.
Stupid idiot.
You can send yourself a message and not reply to it.
The reason I'm doing legs, though, is I haven't been complimented on my ass in a while.
That's not true.
I posted that video where you were drunk and you ate the dog food as a bit, and people, all they were talking about was your fucking ass. Do you know why? Why? Those are my ass in a while. That's not true. I posted that video where you were drunk and you ate the dog food as a bit
and people,
all they were talking about
was your fucking ass.
Do you know why?
Why?
Those are my ass pants.
You,
well,
I would argue that most pants
are your ass pants.
No,
it used to be that way
but then the other day
I was wearing pants
and then,
I think it was like Hasan
and he was like,
damn,
no ass these days.
Oh.
And so,
I put on my ass pants
because I was going to dinner
with him last night.
Hey, Hasan.
He immediately, Stupid sexy lovely.
Notice anything rather hammy about me?
They're my ass pants.
They work so well.
I can just imagine you wearing like normal pants and then you walk by Cutie and she's like,
Boo!
This guy stinks!
Like she's watching The Lighthouse.
Boring!
No ass! You have just said like three different anecdotes
about why you should start working out with me again.
No.
Because you've kind of left me in the dust.
Or clean the fucking garage, you lazy piece of shit.
Or clean the garage.
Figure out all those salaries.
If you don't clean the garage for another week,
I think he's going to kill you.
It's funny.
Ludwig, now...
Ludwig, so there's a compromise going on.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Big N. Maybe not with my name. Maybe not with my name. There's a compromise going on where Ludwig
will now, he'll give me days. He'll be like, okay, I'm going to do it by this day. And what I'm
realizing is it's not going to get done. And I'm like, okay, so if the day doesn't mean anything,
we're just back to normal. I got the salaries. You got them in your head?
Locked.
Let's open up that Google Doc.
Dude, it was so sick.
I messaged the other day, and I was like, hey, man, so I need an answer to this.
If you could just look at this thing and tell me a really simple, like, one-line answer.
And they didn't answer it, and I bumped it.
And I said, bump, please just give me the answer to this.
And I saw him in person that night, and I said, hey, Ludwig, you didn't reply to me today.
He goes, what?
He's off a gummy. And then he goes, he pulls out his phone he looks at it he goes
oh fuck and then he he closes it and then he opens up tiktok and he never no he's never kidding he
didn't tell me in person and he never replied to this day? To this day, this thing I needed is for him.
It is not for me.
It's for us.
It is for you.
Everything's for us.
I actually, I couldn't believe it.
And I said, you know what?
As punishment, I will use the answer as nothing.
Yeah.
That's how you have to punish him is make his decisions have consequences or his lack of non-action.
Hey, it gets worse.
I've unlocked it.
Hold on.
Hold on. I've unlocked the truth
recently because I realized, I don't
know if you're on a bad streak right now, but you're
definitely subsiding. You've been awful at
Discord lately. It's worse than
normal. I just started
texting him. I just text him.
Yeah, the problem is you can't
really lean on that because it has a cooldown
itself. You know what the best strat is?
Call. You call.
You do it the other way.
You always call me when you need something.
If I want something done, I call.
Yeah, but you don't want us to call you about minor one sentence things.
If I'm not live,
I'm 100% done.
Wow. Hey, you heard it here first, folks.
When I'm angry and ready to
blow my head off next week,
it'll be because you didn't pick up.
I'm the best caller in this my head off next week, it'll be because he didn't pick up. I would have picked up.
I'm the best caller in this house.
What does that mean, the best caller?
At calling and picking up.
That's not true.
It's me.
It's me.
I make it a bit.
No.
No.
No, I'm dope at picking up.
Dude, you know what was funny?
At main stage during top eight, I was watching it at home.
I didn't go on Sunday.
One of the
sets ended and whoever was working on audio on on broadcast did not close the mic and so it was
lovage toph and mango talking in what with a with an open mic while it was on break and i was like
white knuckle because because let me tell you guys when you're a commentator and you're like
in the and you know you go to break you immediately start talking shit about whoever like whoever like last
tweeted whoever's annoying yeah you just start fucking talking that good do they get lucky and
they got lucky because they weren't talking any shit but i was like oh god and it reminded me of
amon's hot mic before he uh before he hung up when he oh yeah the car what do we do i still hold that to
him i think about that often what yeah why would you think about it i picked your salary i was like
cut that by 10 that's right that's right never forget that and that's hr down hey talking want
to talk to hr about it can i get an hr meeting this week well let's talk about your work real
quick boss got a new opportunity for you guys see ammo's tweet yeah pull it up zipper yeah so we had the whole segment last week of long like five minute
segment about doing an amaranth fleshlight and she is in a factory well we we wanted to do a sketch
like i don't think we're involved in the actual fleshlight production that way you said it was
an amaranth fleshlight like're going to drop a merch item,
which we conveniently have a merch company.
That is what I originally did the sketch,
but then she tweeted out, and she's like,
let's talk shop on Twitter.
She tweeted out, is there alt to Twitter?
Oh, yeah.
It's like Kate.
Yeah, yeah, sorry, Zipper.
Zipper only knows a few alts.
Go to Ludwig's replies.
This is the fastest way.
Go to Ludwig's replies. So anyway, fastest way. Go to Ludwig's replies.
So anyway, she replied.
She basically took the clip from our clip channel
and then posted it on Twitter on her personal account
and then said, like, I don't know the exact quote.
Well, no, she said, I'm down,
just I don't know if I can do it on Twitch.
Yeah.
But I didn't think that meant she was down to have a pussy mold.
No, I think she is down to sell something.
I think she's down to sell something, because that's why the
not on Twitch thing's there. Well, not sure
we can do it on Twitch, but I'm down.
I think we have a new business.
It's called Mogul Muff.
That's what it was.
I'm going to go with Mogul Molds.
Mogul Molds. That's classy.
We could do
mouthguards. Yeah. We do mouthguards.
Yeah.
We do mouthguards.
We do mouthguards for soccer rec leagues and then pussy molds.
You know how they pour hot iron into an anthill, and they pull it out, and they sculpt the inside?
You could do that with my rectum.
Okay.
So I was ending stream today to go do the yard.
And while I'm wrapping up, I'm
like, alright guys, hey, thanks for watching.
I gotta go record the yard. Amaranth, in my
chat, says, oh,
go talk business.
Okay, wait, wait.
And this is what blew my mind.
I'm scrolling through while she's saying this to find
someone to raid. She's live.
She's the smartest. She was in my chat and she was live. to find someone to raid. She's live. She's the smartest.
She was in my chat and she was live.
I click on her stream.
She's going.
Yeah.
Dude.
Was she like typing with one hand?
She's got the big clompy headphones on.
She's got to be doing something when she's looking.
And I go, I go, Emma, are you watching me?
She goes.
That is crazy.
And dude, I bet she does her taxes it's not
over so i asked her questions i go emeryth do you just like watch tv shows and movies every time you
do this she starts laughing she's like while still licking yeah nodding her head yes while still do
like she's got like this jar of water she's going like like that that noise on like, she's got, like, this jar of water. She's going, like, like that noise on it.
She's a multitasking queen.
And I'm like, this is, like, what I do when I'm at my, like, my old job at Snapchat.
I would watch a movie on the side.
Yeah.
She does this while streaming on Twitch.
Poor guy from Brazil in chat saying, please, butthole, see now.
And she's just, like, halfway through Lethal Weapon 2.
I don't care MIBR. I don't care MIBR.
I don't care FaZe.
I only care Amaranth butthole.
Dude.
Dude.
Wow.
She's the hardest working streamer.
I believe that too.
Let's get her on the yard.
We were talking about that this morning in the kitchen with Maya.
We were like, she must have the strongest tongue known to man.
Yeah, we were talking about her tongue muscles.
It's like she closes her mouth. She punches her uvula like a punching bag bro you ever
try to uh like lick a tootsie roll pop to the center like the commercial says that shit hurts
your mouth yeah you're not supposed to do it but i feel like she licks the ears more than it takes
to do that yeah in like a week how long how how many licks to get to the center of a three thousand
dollar microphone she also just just has sheer will.
I think there is not a number of Tootsie Pops she would stop at.
Do you think if an audio brand like Sennheiser or something,
if they partnered with Amaranth, would they get a lot of blowback
or would it be hype in the public's eye?
I think it'd personally be hype.
I think it'd be hype.
They would definitely get blowback.
Yeah, but is that good blowback?
No, because their market is like 50-year-old boomers.
Yeah, I guess I hate it.
They should make those binaural ear audio or microphones,
but they're both buttholes on both sides.
Dude, that would bang so hard.
You're just licking a butthole?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I feel like this would influence numbers positively.
Me, to be clear here, me as a viewer, listening, watching,
and both of my ears
are assholes you're hearing through butt sound yes okay yeah butt vision yeah you're in you're
in butt vision in the panavision font but the thx is a fucking long ass part
no dude okay so i i was in a store. It was like a Japanese cosmetic store, actually,
because we were waiting for food.
And I go in, and it was very odd.
So there's this little section where there's Japanese,
I don't know, sexual needs items, like condoms and shit like that.
It was...
You gotta send me this thing.
Huh?
You gotta send me this address.
You know what?
Yeah, they had the little Game Boy Advance connectors
so you could trade Pokemon in that section.
I will say, there's something there that I'm gonna get for you,
but I can't tell you what it is.
Anyway, so we're going, and I'm looking through,
and there was, I don't know if this is,
because I don't know about feminine hygiene
or, like, if pee is squirt or if butts are, like,
if women pee out of their butts.
I don't know a lot
is what I'm saying
there was a device
for sale
that
there was a device
for sale
that it was like a
I thought it was a
fleshlight at first
I was like
there's no fucking
fleshlights in this
store next to
condoms
that's funny
turns out they're
called flashlights
they make light
anywhere
a guy who knows
about a fleshlight
before the flashlight yeah
he's like oh yeah i just fucked this thing but it also makes light it's like kids you guys need that
it's like kids you know about among us before space it's so fun you know when you open the
end of a flashlight to like pour the batteries out yeah and then you could just fill that with
like uh with whatever you want yeah with molten metal and and so so i and it's like what it actually was because i like
looked at the box it's like a vacuum pump for pussy oh like an wait wait wait for pussies yeah
it was like a high i was gonna say like austin austin powers but maybe it was a suck machine
i don't know it was either it was either was his penis with it it was basically it was a device
but it looked like it couldn't house a penis. It was more for like a short fat thing.
Not yours.
And it was like...
Stop.
Stop.
You stop that.
I have a beautiful penis.
To be clear, that was me having a small dick joke.
You didn't pick it up.
Oh.
It was small, and yours wouldn't.
I thought you were...
Yeah.
You know what?
Now he likes it.
That's too soft.
That's too soft.
That's so soft.
Anyway, I don't know if it was like, is a vacuum pussy?
Buddy, buddy, do you want us to go back and you want us to buy it?
So anyway, I got it.
We can buy it.
I don't care.
But my question is, do people do, I'm sorry, do women use a vacuum to suck things out of their pussy?
Okay, I don't know.
No, this is the thing in Luigi's Mansion.
That's true.
Yeah, with Zippers.
Is that a thing?
Do you guys know about this?
I don't think this is something that's commonly used,
so I don't think it's like...
Well, you know, there's things that...
More people soak than use this.
You're stupid as shit.
You don't have a pussy.
I think, as far as I understand
vaginas are self-cleaning
which is why
like it's
it's not actually good to do
they're like
they're like dishwashers
so I imagine
you just gotta put some soap in
you put a tie pod in the mouth
you open the little slot
put the packet in
you just do a dance
this is terrible
we're gonna lose fucking
no no no
I'm against this conversation
I'm against this conversation
I think Sun's dumb.
The percent is already so low.
A peak behind the veil.
I just didn't know if people needed to suck things out of their orifices with a machine.
I didn't know that was a thing.
That's all.
Women?
Let us know in the comments.
We need you.
Sound off.
So you get the hymen out.
Unironically, yes.
We need to do here this time.
Yeah, that was pretty much it.
I just wanted to bring that
up. I'm a scaly.
Yeah, everyone was saying that we
brushed over this last episode. We didn't brush over it.
Here's the thing, guys. The best thing
about appreciating a nice quip
is you let it go. The worst thing
you can do is like, wait, what did you say?
I'm scaly?
Sometimes it's way cooler
just to let things pop
you know
we were talking about
uh
anti Donna's
funhouse that one time
oh yeah yeah
and it was that
that one bit
where uh
the one dude's name
is Janiel
Janiel
and it's funny
the first time
hilarious
but then they talk
about how his name
is Janiel
for like two more minutes
and it's like
man if you just
left it at
him being Janiel
that is
a god tier bit that's fire they're actually fire at like starting bits really funny and it's like man if you just left it at him being january that is a god
tier bit that's fire they're actually fire at like starting bits really funny and then being
like oh wow okay we've decided that this will not be funny yeah auntie donna and twitch streamers
they have i don't know if this was before they had i can't let go i don't know if this is before
they had a netflix show or not but they have like a youtube episode that uh it's them playing
foursquare really and? And it was really funny
when it started and I
was like this is
everything I want.
Please don't.
Auntie Donna guys.
I'm like please deliver
this because like
handball is huge in
Australia.
They're Australian I
guess it checks out.
But they call it
Foursquare in the video.
I think it's because
like maybe they have
a larger American
audience or something.
And it was a train wreck.
They got so much less
funny as it went on.
I was like damn.
We could kill this.
Were they good with it though? They had good it went on. I was like, damn. We could kill this. You just...
Were they good with it, though?
They, like, did good?
Were they playing well?
No.
No, they were playing terrible.
Would you dice them?
I would dice the shit out of them, yeah.
Dude, we're getting nice.
Yeah, this is it.
Oh, this is it.
Yeah.
That's so interesting.
Okay.
I guess I forgot.
And, like, the beginning, he's, like, talking to someone on the sideline, then he serves
it when he's not looking.
He's like, that was a dog move.
And, like, all the things they're saying, it's, like, very real to was a dog move and like like all the things they're saying it's like very real to like when
we play with our australian friends like it's all very real uh and then it just turns into this like
weird cartoon that like doesn't exist wow well speaking of twitch streamers ludwig i want to
bring this up yeah our good friend michael bunthers yeah got you in some hot water dude i got some
beef oh i don't know anything about this, please recount it for the viewers at home,
including Nick, who is a viewer at home.
It is leather jacket that's made of leather.
Leather.
A lion.
Michael Bonther came over, and he was here for main stage.
And he went one day, came back.
We were talking the whole next day because we went rock climbing together.
And he was like, yeah, a weird thing happened.
While I was at main stage, there was these people who had set up like a speed dating booth and they were going
around they were trying to find people to speed date and like one person came up to me and they're
like you want to go speed dating and michael's like no i'm i got a girlfriend and then i was
like oh well this is like this is on destiny this is like with destiny like and his girlfriend
melena like you could you could hook up with like melena like destiny's girl and uh because
they're in an open relationship and then bond is like no i'm like really good and that was so weird that was it that was the story
and i had recounted this on stream and i was like it's weird there was a couple of i because the way
it had been phrased to me i thought it was destiny's event that had been happening to be fair
we had heard about this uh before beforehand as well in terms of like
this speed dating thing
was like
I don't know
kind of being talked about
being a thing
they emailed us
and Destiny's name
came up a lot
so like
there was this idea
that like
Destiny had nothing
to do with it bro
and it's like
well if that's the case
then someone was just
saying his name
Destiny was in the email
so
the streamer
I think it's cubot it had
it's like who's like a she's a girl who streams and his friends with destiny and melina had i
think like asked them to do it and they're like yeah we'll do it and destiny didn't end up showing
up uh but the people who were helping like the goons that were roaming around were kind of like
trying to throw that cloud around yeah just kind of like trying to throw the names out and be like hey like maybe this will get you to do it uh because like otherwise
it's kind of embarrassing to go live on twitch and do speed dating if you're just like in general
i thought the idea was kind of like it wasn't it didn't have the best intentions because it's
obviously like hey let's see what these socially inept gamers are gonna do yeah that's what i was
thinking like fucking let's clown yeah i watched it for like five seconds. It was hugs. And then the only thing I saw was her and she went, you can go now.
And then he was like, okay.
And I was like, damn, this is awkward.
I have some extra lore for this.
Okay.
So the reason that this all happened is because, so the streamer you mentioned, I couldn't
remember.
I can't remember her name.
Yeah.
The streamer you mentioned, her editor is a smasher.
Okay.
Yeah.
His name was Will.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. His name was Will. Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I told his goddamn friend.
I remember his name.
I know.
In my head.
Bronze.
Fuck.
Brody?
Brody.
Bronze.
What's up?
Bronze Johnson.
Brody was a different guy.
No, but his friend was the guy.
Oh, he was?
Yeah.
Oh, I'm thinking of a different dude.
Anyway.
I'm not your Brody.
Anyway.
They both didn't watch The Yard.
So if you're watching, shout out. Shout out. dude. I'm not your brody. They both didn't watch The Yard, so if you're watching,
shout out.
You fucked my boy.
He edits for her, and he
comes to me asking if they can do this.
I already know about the email that we kind of just
ignored it. We being beyond the summit.
We being beyond the summit, and I was just like,
uh, okay.
I don't know. I'll talk to her.
It's also not your call it's not my call
but it is content at the event so it's like something that i can inquire about and like
you know i can inevitably make a decision about kind of um and uh so she ends up showing up
anyways and uh i talked to her about it and i was and she like really wanted to do it and i was like
all right well you can do it under these conditions like you don't do it in the venue
you don't mention the event you do it outside the event okay whatever and like those are the
conditions that it was fine and they were totally cool about it was whatever um but some like
background to all this is like melina is someone that i know yeah outside of all of all of this we
got some old yeah it's crazy because so like she walks in the venue i don't know anything about her coming and she just walked she's like beelines to me and i was like holy
shit what the fuck are you doing here and we like we talked for like a really long time and the
reason i know her is because a long time ago she was dating a smasher in sweden and then they came
to america this was like six years ago they came to america and stayed at my house because they
were going to a pink floyd concert and i met both of them before she was at all involved with streaming she didn't even
know destiny you're an avid twitch viewer you will have known the guy that stayed with us because
he was live with destiny and melena that's right yeah there was like a lot of like conspiracies
like destiny's hooking up with her behind his back and like he'd be on stream by himself and they'd be like disappearing when on my show uh when i was on the uh the fucking
the roshler yeah i i was on the alex betez episode destiny was on it yeah and i in the show live i
said bro do you know acid fuck boy which is the guy's tag which is the guy's tag because i met
him because they stayed at Nick's house.
And I w I went there all the time and he's really nice.
And I was like,
yeah,
I know that guy.
And I told him why.
And everyone is like kind of confused why I'm doing this.
And then Destiny's like,
uh,
oh yeah,
I know Max.
And I was like,
cool.
And that was that.
So there's this weird,
like,
wow,
this is so crazy.
This was the thing we found out when i moved in with
you guys and this came up in conversation we we realized that i i had met and become friends with
max on a separate occasion yeah because you're an eu slut yeah and i'd hoe it out at smash
tournaments over there and me and max became friends like he's just like he's just a very
friendly he's just so chill really easy to talk to And I was like, how the fuck do you know this guy?
And he's like, oh, yeah, he stayed at our house two years ago.
I was like, I met him two years ago just in a different part of the world.
And now I'm standing there with Nick trying to explain this to Molina.
His name was K!
And he threw that out of throw!
Trying to explain from the beginning.
She also didn't know that we live with you
like she yeah she didn't know that context so she was like also that was like another part of it
that she was just like wait what like like very confused by all these absurd layers of like
crossover and then i you know i guess they finally yeah so all this happens the end of the kingdom
hearts plot line is that i said this on stream and then then Destiny reacted to it, and it was not his event.
He was supposed to be there.
I think he didn't end up going.
He did not show up.
Partly because of probably me saying that on stream.
Oh, sure.
I imagine that might have influenced it a bit, at least.
And then there was a bunch of threads on livestream fail.
All day was the back and forth.
There was back and forth, and that's what it was.
Wait, hold on.
I don't understand what
so he had said yeah so he told mike's story on stream oh i told my story like these two goons
said like that like you can fuck melena which is weird uh and i said like you know and then i said
at the end i think for content i guess and uh and then destiny watching he's like well it's not my
thing i'm not doing this this is cubot and so uh And so, uh, you know, at the end, I,
it wasn't,
it wasn't him.
It was just,
I think it does suck.
He invites you to a discord call.
Like it instantly starts debating you.
I would say that's why I tweeted that out. Cause like,
I can't debate,
debate kids that,
and then debate adults.
Like I,
well,
yeah.
What was this tweet about?
Freak me out,
dude.
That's all.
How so?
Because dude,
they just like,
they have so much logic. I see. And they just, just all their their whole job is to just trap you in like
little logic puddles and no matter what you do that the the debate kid in my mind never agrees
i think i like got ptsd from my friend growing up who would never be okay losing an argument ever
even if he's like clearly wrong but well that that just doesn't make sense. And he'd be like a fucking prick about it.
And I'll be like,
sometimes it's okay to be wrong.
Like,
and so debate kids now and people who debate like as a thing,
they freak me out.
Cause I'm like,
I can't talk to him like a normal human.
He was stressed.
He's like,
bro,
you can't get to be with those people.
I think it's fine.
I told Ludwig,
I was like,
don't fuck,
don't fuck with destiny,
bro.
I can't handle debate kids,
bro.
They fucking,
destiny was like, I don't get why Ludwig hates me.
It's like probably because Cutie hates me, probably because I hate Casey.
Hey, tell the people.
Drama watch.
I've met Destiny, and we hung out briefly at TwitchCon.
He just doesn't remember, I think, because I was a 200-viewer Andy.
Yeah, I was a baby.
Little guy.
I met him.
Well, how did you feel about that?
It was fine.
It was a fine interaction.
People were arguing about this on livestream fails? Yeah. I bet him. Well, how did you feel about that? It was fine. It was a fine interaction. People were arguing about this on livestream fails?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because it was Destiny reacting, and then Ludwig reacting to that react.
And, like, this happens a lot.
This is the Ouroboros of, like, LSF drama.
It's kind of sick in a way, because you can just manufacture more drama by just talking
about it, and then showing, like, your stream or the clip of the reaction, and they watch
the reaction.
Do you think he's reacting right now to this?
Can we all look at him?
Keep it up.
Imagine.
Now that I have the full scope of what happened,
like beginning to end from the introductory email
to standing there talking with them,
telling them what they could and could not do,
to this anecdote,
to you guys creating clips about it after,
and then to imagine that all of that happened, is really dumb and really simple and then some of
you fucks at home sit on reddit and talk about it i mean insane yeah this is not new you also
replied to a reddit thread that's different that's different it's different it's different
because cody it's because cody and i have known each other It's different because Cody
Let us do a few more cartoon noises, and then you can go
All right go ahead Cody and I have known each other for a long time we did in-person discussion about the
problems with the schedule at main stage and he interviewed with somebody complained about it
lied in the interview how do you lie how do you lie tell us he just okay in in the article he
says like the tournament i played until this time on this night and this time until until this night
on that night and uh i didn't get any sleep and
just both of those things are verifiably untrue yeah not by like a small margin like oh it was
10 minutes yeah it was like several hours before you said we have developed a way to measure time
which is like like you know thing like passing the passage of it oh is that that clock shit yeah
it's that clock shit so it has to do with minutes and hours. And he
got that wrong. Like, the time
that he said that something
occurred was by a large margin.
Ratio him. No. I don't want
it to happen on Twitter. Baby's first ratio. I don't want it to happen
on Twitter. But the reason
that's different is
two people who were there for the
in-person interaction of what happened,
I am simply correcting what actually happened.
In this case, it's people online making conjectures about the thing they don't know about.
You did reply on Reddit, but I think the how do you sit here on Reddit all day is such a tired.
No, it's not about spending time on Reddit to begin with.
It's about the idea that you would comment on something you are so far removed from.
Whereas I commented on something because I was there involved in the thing, doing the thing.
I discovered Epic Rap Battles of History again.
Wait, hold on.
What sort of transition is this?
What about Epic Rap Battles of Her Story?
That's what I'm saying.
I stole that.
Don't high-five me.
I stole it.
It's a tweet.
Well, I watched it, and one of the videos, 10 years old, it showed me commenting on it
10 years ago.
Oh, shit.
Would you see it in the wild?
And a pool of 280,000 shows you your top comment.
It said, check out my song.
It's my same Ludwig account.
It said, check out my song.
It's you got a box of me.
No, it's because you're logged in.
As long as you're logged in, you're logged in your account.
It always shows your comment first.
But it's the same YouTube I had 10 years ago Which I guess is a little more rare
That's actually crazy
And so it was a 10 year old
YouTube comment
It's in a sea of 280,000
And at the end of every
Epic rap battle it goes
Who's next?
You decide
And I wrote
Can we get Rebecca Black
Versus
Who's the guy who does
Never Gonna Give You Up
Rick Astley
Wow
And that was my suggestion
For an epic rap battle
With a bowl cut at 16 And you know what? Thatley wow and that was my suggestion for an epic rap battle with a bowl cut
at 16 and you know what that would go and i was one of the sheep and i'm one of those people hey
i add to the pools of comment hey yeah hey you can make it happen now a contribution a suggestion
i couldn't do epic rap battles of history now 16 years no you could you could arrange arguably a
productive comment me i vouch for that comment i I don't. I think that would bang.
I wrote after it's like
I think it would be
wholesome and funny.
I actually tuned into
your stream
and I watched you
watching one with like
Donald Trump versus
Joe Biden or something.
Yeah.
It was the most cringe shit
I've ever seen in my life.
That was the recent one.
It was cringe.
It was.
I couldn't handle it.
So that's the recent one.
The older ones are a lot cooler.
It's like you gotta watch
the old ones.
You gotta watch the old ones.
It's like friends.
Lightsaber is like blue which signifiesifies he's new to being a Jedi.
I rewatched it.
It was Trump versus Hillary, I want to say.
And Trump basically says the N-word.
Hard R in the video.
What do you mean basically?
Well, he implies it.
You either say it or you don't.
Does he rhyme a word?
He rhymes a word with the N- word and then doesn't say the word.
I see.
Which is as close
to saying the N word
as you can possibly be.
Sure.
And I was like,
that's crazy.
Damn.
They say,
demonetized.
But no,
but not back then.
They still got 54 million views
and paid out.
Their grandfathered in.
No,
I think it was just,
it was a long time ago. It might have been
limited out, but who cares now? Before they, yeah, before they.
Crazy. By the way, I was
doing some editor payouts for you
and I paid someone out who
got like a percentage of revenue,
this is for Cole, it was like a percentage of revenue
for 30 days after the video comes out, right?
And then I checked it and then I
calculated it and then I checked the revenue since
which was like a month after that 30 day period. And the video had earned like $10. Yeah. It's crazy.
Like, like I don't know if you guys know this, but if for you drop a video and the first like
three days it makes 90% of its money and then the rest of the time it just exists and makes $10
over two months. Barely collects.
It's really interesting. Depends on the video.
Some are, you know, they'll slow bleed
or just be like huge videos
and get a million every year, but most.
I realize the machine keeps you
online. They were getting the
old ad rate on that channel.
Yeah, that's right.
They're making big bucks.
We were talking about
this this past week was the david dobrik thing where he's getting interviewed by like men's
health and he talks about the amount of money he used to make on his youtube channel and pre
pre-adpocalypse when he was way smaller he made 250k a month and that was when uh he was i don't
know he had like a million couple million subs well i don't even think that was pre-adpocalypse
this was all still post-Adpocalypse
because I believe the Adpocalypse is PewDiePie saying the N-word.
That's right.
Yeah, this is before, I think.
Well, no, it wasn't the N-word.
It was the Hitler thing, right?
No, it was the N-word on the bridge.
This is like BC.
No, it was the Hitler thing.
This is like BC and AD.
Yeah, it was.
It really is.
I think every YouTuber...
And PewDiePie's the catalyst.
Literally every...
PewDiePie saying the N-word was the crucifixion of the modern time.
Jesus.
No, literally every YouTuber
should get together
and just linguine PewDiePie.
Because he fucked with
literally everyone's bag
from there on out.
I mean, I'm looking at the bag.
We go back and linguine
the fuck out of PewDiePie.
That is so fucking funny.
I look at the bag and I feel like...
New browser.
Opera GM.
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Fuck this browser! I think what it did is like it reset the back and I feel like... New browser. Opera GM. Fuck you, motherfucker. Fuck this browser.
I think what it did is like it reset time,
but I feel like it's...
I don't know if it's equal where it was,
but I can't imagine it being higher.
It'd be crazy.
YouTubers already make so much.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Do you get 10 million views on a video?
You get like 100K.
No, but I think that was the whole thing
with the David Dobrik interview.
He was saying like now,
even with that amount of views, he made basically no money well he made no money because
he had copyrighted music in most of his songs yeah but also content stuff he usually he usually this
is the secret insider info he said that but the reality is that he just puts copyrighted music in
most of his videos like almost all of them yeah and if you got demonetized videos don't get
recommended so your channel would not blow up yeah it if you got demonetized videos don't get recommended so
your channel would not blow up yeah it takes you out of that he doesn't like he'll probably have
some demonetized a hundred percent getting demonetized also means getting less views but
if he's getting like yeah you get like no views and he would not be as big as he is so he
manipulated yeah he's a little bit of a capper oh david dobrik manipulating name a better duo
cult leader cult leader uh. About David Dobrik.
Whoa.
And it's the thumbnail of the video.
Okay.
Oh, this video?
He talks about David Dobrik. And then it's a fleshlight.
Yeah.
No, it's a vacuum pump to get the cum out of your pussy.
The David Dobrik pussy.
Do you think we could get him?
Yeah.
That's a sick idea.
Come on.
Do you think you have enough clout to dm him
what is i'm sorry i got distracted we have this new thing now where we have a whiteboard i brought
a whiteboard class and i just read through them for the first time to bring to class and this
says psychuno diaper play but we'll get into that right after our sponsor of this week coinbase back
at it again coinbase a loyal sponsor of the pod.
Coinbase.com forward slash the yard.
You get $10 in Bitcoin if you sign up right now.
You have to go to Coinbase.com forward slash the yard.
It's a place to trade crypto.
You get your crypto coin.
Yeah, get the app, use the code, which we took it.
Hey, it took a long time to get that code.
Don't be like me.
Don't know the code exists and then make a Coinbase account
and forget to use it.
Yeah, that's what I did.
He did.
And he does not have 10 Bitcoin.
$10 in Bitcoin.
You gotta stop saying
10 Bitcoin.
That was the deal.
You gotta stop saying 10 Bitcoin.
Who knows?
You gotta sign up to find out.
It's a coin flip, really.
Yeah.
It's a Coinbase flip.
Coinbase is loaded.
Thanks for sponsoring the pod, Coinbase.
Shouts out. Shouts out.
Shouts out.
So, yeah, you want to talk about this?
Sycuno diaper play.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe this is on the whiteboard.
So, here we go.
Do I want to talk about this?
Yeah, yeah.
So, here's – I was thinking about it a lot.
Let me preface this real quick by saying the way you talk about the people that I have to hang out with and enjoy hanging out with online only hurts and fractures those relationships.
No, and here—
Continue. I am—
If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Sycuno diaper play,
you may be entitled to compensation.
Let me do my best to not fracture those relationships
by explaining my perspective.
I was thinking about it, and you play video games a lot
with, like, the brand-safe safe, family friendly influencer crew, right?
And to those people that come to mind immediately are people like Valkyrae and Sykuno specifically.
They are meant to be your G rated almost like everything's primarily teenagers, maybe even pre-adolescent kids that watch them a lot.
And I was thinking if Sykuno is okay with that being his audience, to me, that's weird.
Why?
I was in the kitchen defending Sykuno, by the way.
Because here's the thing.
Because if the yard, if you've heard of it, it's a little bit of a PCast.
If The Yard was only like 15-year-olds, literally, I know it's impossible, but literally only 15-year-olds listen to this show, I would not do it, right?
That would make me uncomfortable because that's not my audience.
I don't want to be someone that just like makes kid content.
Look, I don't want to fucking see this.
I don't want to jump in his corner
and normally...
Mr. Rogers.
Yeah, but...
Wait, is that the case? So he's
Mr. Rogers. Let's go. So that's a little
different, right? That's literally
a kid's show. Sure.
So you're confirming that that's
what they're doing. But it also can be enjoyed by adults.
But it's not. What do you mean? Bob Ross. No, that's what they're doing. But it also can be enjoyed by adults. But it's not.
What do you mean?
Bob Ross.
People don't.
No, that's way different.
No?
That's a skill.
Also, wait.
Hold on.
Thank you.
We're getting into dodgy territory.
He's right about that part.
I think Mr. Rogers is a good example.
No, Mr. Rogers is great.
Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, Bill Nye.
Bob Ross is not a good example.
Bill Nye is a bad example.
My question is, are you saying that these two particular,
this type of creator is meant to be targeting these audiences
and is fully aware of that?
Because Mr. Rogers is very clearly a kid's show for kids
to teach them about sharing and shit.
I think that they like streaming.
They like playing games with their friends.
They like that they make a shit ton of money doing it,
and they compartmentalize that their audience is so young
and don't really think about it.
I also think it's so tired to blame a creator for the age of the audience.
It's like the day one roast.
People did it for me for so long.
I don't deal with it as much as anymore.
People call you like the Disney guy on LSF, which is really funny.
All the fucking time.
And they just roast you.
If you have a large amount of viewers, the first roast people jump to is,
and they are all kids.
Kids watch you. XQC kids watch you xqc receives it
miskiff receives it you know Aiden
Ross remember like there was a clip
of an Aiden Ross viewer who's young
he's like this 13 year old he's like oh yeah I watch
Aiden Ross super cool kid he's like actually
like really chill on the stream and
cool kid yeah
how cool was he bro he was so tight
his name was Billy he was going to the mall
his hat was on backwards
his hat was backwards did smoke He was smoking a cigarette.
It was awesome.
His hat was backwards.
He did smoke a doobie.
One drag.
Took a sip of his Pepsi Max.
I feel like that's just the day one roast that everybody applies.
I think that...
They are the main demo, to be clear.
Yeah, and they also offer up this sense of content.
Specifically Sykuno, where it's like he's very small bean.
And it's like... I don't think you watch Sykuno.
Maybe I don't. No, like, I'm saying
you don't. I don't. So am I
completely wrong?
Yes. So he's not small bean?
No. Because every time I've seen a clip
or something, he's small bean. He's very small
bean. And I'm like, you're
30. And it's weird.
It's weird to me. Tell me why I'm wrong. It's weird to laugh and do this when you're 30. That's weird it's weird to me tell me why I'm wrong uh it's weird
to laugh and do this when you're 30 that's all I'm saying I think he's just insecure and you guys
well you too you specifically are the most weird parasocial viewer of all my people
cop on the pod say you know I think x is depressed I think b is absolutely a dipshit
hold on hold on I'm not in the corner on all this you are on his corner for this say, you know, I think X is depressed. I think B is absolutely a dipshit. Hold on.
Hold on.
I'm not in the corner on all this stuff.
You are on his corner for this.
No, I'm not.
Welcome.
Hold on.
I'm Nick right now.
I'm Nick right now where I agreed with like one thing he said.
I didn't say anything extra.
He said it for me.
What the fuck?
You oftentimes, I feel like, go too deep in your conspiracy theory about influencers.
That's right.
And these are humans.
And that's why I'm distancing myself. These are humans who I interact with. That's right. And it makes. And these are humans who I interact with.
And it makes it weird when they're humans I interact with.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Justin Timberlake.
Tell me I'm wrong and why.
I've done this.
No.
I literally did.
Not about the diaper play.
I did four seconds ago.
You haven't even explained the diaper play yet.
It's basically like the online version of diaper play.
What?
To me.
You know what diaper play is?
This doesn't make it any more clear.
I don't.
Just tell them what it is.
You know what diaper play is?
I don't know diaper play.
Tell them how it would be.
It's when you like It's like
It's like when you dress up
Like a nurse
With your significant other
To like cosplay
But it's all based on like
Being a baby
And wearing a diaper
And pooping in it
Right
And it's like this infantilized
It's like a sexual kink
Sexuality
Yeah
Right
It's like
Melia Martinez
It's like
That does nothing for me
She's like
A lot of her iconography
Was like being a weird
Like sexual baby
Okay
And that's What? Yeah Yeah I don't know who this is She's like, a lot of her iconography was like being a weird, like sexual baby. Okay.
And that's.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know who this is.
That sounds bad.
And yeah.
And I always thought that was weird.
And I get the same vibes from the idea that.
And you think that's the same?
I think it's the same because of the. You think jerking off to diapers and babies is equivalent to not swearing on a street?
Let me clarify.
I'm trying to clarify
and i'm not being allowed to clarify in this great debate court you know what here's your space i
love your time i would love for you to say your shit and it feels like the amount of uh i guess
like fandom around saikuno in a very like infantile but but romanticized way from adolescence is weird.
And maybe it's like,
well, how are you supposed to stop that?
And it's like, say you don't like it.
Say that I don't like that.
Don't do that.
But I feel like people are afraid to do that
because it fucks with the bag of Reno.
I think that you,
in everything you stand for,
in everything you make,
just immediately shuts off a huge part of,
of not just age group of people,
but also women.
Pretty much everything you create
is usually directed towards men.
Okay.
Male humor.
Sure.
And I think his is much more appealing to women
and it's not just an age thing.
I think this is like,
like there are like teen girls,
but also like 20 year
old girls college girls who like saikuno more and i think they might just prefer like you know
someone who doesn't talk about dick ball fucking suck i think that makes a lot of sense i and i
think to be fair they're probably a lot more quiet about it right the say dick say dick ball like
these 20 these 20 something year olds that, let's say, Sykuno,
they're not as loud on Twitter because they're, like, adults now,
and they don't need to feel that sense of, like,
identity with a thing they like, right?
Yeah.
So that makes sense.
I think they're pretty loud.
Are they loud, too?
I think they're loud as fuck.
I'm just trying to put the pieces together.
They live-tweet every stream he does.
I want the stats.
I'm trying to put the pieces together.
I want the demo stats.
I don't think the stats matter. Sykuno owes me that. I'm trying to put the pieces together. I want the demo stats. I don't think that's a really good point.
owes me that.
I think you
just should watch his stream.
You are making a theory
about a man who's stream
you've never watched
which is the psychopathic part.
That's right.
This is like
when he made that
broad sweeping generalization
about how I date people
and how I feel nothing
and I'm like
you didn't meet anybody I dated the
closest I've come to killing myself talking to you
wait no but I think you're right
I'm literally trying to
I'm trying to have a discussion that was harsh
that's how
I feel but alright
psychudo diaper play good one for the checklist
no I think that I think
I'll ask him we'll revisit it next week I'll ask him how he feels No, I think that... I think that... I'll ask him. We'll revisit it next week.
I'll ask him how he feels about nurses.
I think that you're right.
And the idea that the content I make
is generally geared toward literally me.
Right?
Yes.
It's only me.
And I think women being included
is something that I haven't really ever
had to think about.
Right?
Yeah.
Because it's like,
well, why should I? Which is kind of selfish. I think you exclude everything that Because it's like, well, you know, why should I?
Which is kind of selfish.
I think you exclude everything that you don't like,
which is what a 32-year-old man likes.
Sure.
And so it's like if you are not that, if you are younger,
or if you are a woman, or if you are even older, it's all excluded.
Yeah.
And I think about that a lot too where I'm like, oh, man,
am I going to just constantly age and only be seeking like this secret,
like insanely targeted demographic that I care about?
And I think about that a lot.
I think I would agree with everything you said if he was going live to fucking take off his shirt and flex.
No, yeah.
I think because he's just playing games and like, you know, kind of awkward.
I think he'd be doing that if his audience was adults.
Does it also it begs the question,
does getting older require someone to act differently?
I think that's what a lot of creators are going to run into.
I get that a lot.
Bro, you're 30.
Why are you malding on the internet with people?
It's like, because I love it.
That's the Keemstar roast.
You know what I mean?
Hassan's 30 and he malts.
Everyone's going to get older.
You're going to be older one day.
You're going to be 30.
And that's like this bar where you're like,
oh, you're going to die.
Yeah.
That's this bar.
27 Club.
Why are you shaking my hand like you did it?
I got three years left.
There you go.
That's this bar
where you end up like,
oh, 30.
Now you're not allowed
to be something, right?
And everyone's going to start
running into that
because a lot of these guys
aren't going to quit.
There's always going to be
new people that find new... There are people who say 30 and then people like
35 and then 40 yeah you went the older you get but old people are also not funny so i guess at
some point there's a switch you think so yeah what happened to dane cook man what about me
so funny yeah you like the you like the dane cook of the art. But in his prime. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, that's a compliment.
In his Amazon prime.
That didn't make any sense.
I just knew he'd dab me.
Put out the hand.
I hate that you still responded.
If he puts out the hand,
you need to learn to deny.
You are literally...
Show a little discipline.
Yeah, this guy liked that.
That's how it works.
Also, he denied me a handshake earlier
Did he?
I'm just catching L's
Well, no, I denied receiving one
That's right
That's different
I didn't think I deserved it
Speaking of scalies
Whoa
Where are we?
Do you guys know what scalies are?
I have no idea
It's people like lizards, right?
I assumed it was
Like jerking off to lizards
I assumed it was like reptiles or something
It's people who are furries, but for dragons.
Dragons specifically or all lizards?
Dragons.
It has to be dragons.
Dude, I'm a scaly.
That sounds sick.
There's different subsects, but a furry is generally a wolf.
You're not like a furry.
I don't think that's true.
Yeah, I think it's like the mane.
Or dog. That's the main.
I think if you are into tigers, you are equally
a furry and there's a lot of tiger likers.
There's tiger likers, but I'm saying the main
demo for a furry is a wolf or a dog.
Of course you are equally a furry, but you could definitely
break down the stats of what the most
common animal is.
It's a melting pot, but the majority of
people are Christian.
I was going to say, people are Christian. I was gonna say white or
Christian. If you're a furry,
sound off in the comments, and genuinely,
what is the breakdown? Because I would
love to know. We also have no idea.
Animal groups.
Furries and Smash players are
very interconnected. We did that test.
We did that test at the G4 event
because Soda Poppin's
obsessed with furries
and VR porn
and jerking off.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
Are those three related?
Yeah, how...
Can you kind of...
Or are they just
a sexual being?
Yeah, but is he, like,
into furries
or is he in love
with the idea
of them as a joke?
I think, like,
all things,
it started ironic
and then, like,
he actually, like...
For example, ironically,
he was interested
in, like, VR, in, like, VR porn, like, you know, and whatever. And then he actually like for example ironically he was interested in like vr in like
vr porn like you know and whatever right and then he actually just jerked off with a bunch of his
friends and then he was like then he was like damn those 3d he actually did this yeah he goes
to like strip clubs in vr often then he beats his meat yeah does he have mic does he have open mic
can you hear your friends like grunting I think so. Dude, that's
nuts. Dude, strip club
in VR with proximity chat?
That's crazy.
If a guy's in the corner, you're like, you don't go out to that guy.
That's actually the American dream.
I don't think it is.
That's why the soldiers fought.
Every time World War II
walks up, he's like,
that was nice, but
I don't think I'm going to play the game tomorrow, so I probably
won't see you again.
Dude, I can
imagine a World War II soldier just ready to
cave in some German guy's
head with a rifle. He's like, this one's for digital
titties.
Yeah, Memorial Day hits
and fucking soda pop and hops on VR.
But yeah, he does that. I think he ironically was interested in furries and then i think he's like more unironically now interested in furries do this scaly thing i'm gonna look into this this
sounds hype so the reason the reason i brought this up was because after our conversation last week, I was reminded of just the insanity that was Genesis 3 in 2016.
This is at the San Jose Convention Center.
Genesis 3, probably the most infamous, or famous, infamous,
probably the incorrect word, tournament that there is.
And it had been years since Genesis 2, which was like this fabled tournament so everybody was going to genesis 3 and the same weekend in the san jose
convention center was a furry convention yep apparently the largest furry convention in the
united states and then also in the ballroom between these two events a high school girls
club volleyball tournament yeah and it was a packed building it
created probably probably the most there's so many smash jokes on hindsight for that combo
yeah there's a cia agent in a fucking tower two miles away with a sniper rifle like
one of these motherfuckers are gonna do something ready to detonate the foundation beneath. That's the craziest hitman mission.
47.
You can choose one of three disguises.
47 in the high school volleyball player government.
Hello, my name's Caroline.
I was standing in the subway line that weekend,
and I was just looking around,
and I was like, this is fucking crazy because it it's like, you know, group of furries, gamer, nerdy group, volleyball mom.
And it, it felt really, it felt really comforting in a way to like, not to ha to be near these
like, you know, normal families and like not be the weird person they were looking at.
Yeah.
Because there would be,'m like i'm like
i'm in a nerd subculture but like one of the few that's like in the yeah there's like there's like
a six foot seven dog standing there next to you playing the game and the mom's like so they do
this for money can you believe it elmo's the dog it's like what a fucking weird job
get a job
dude you wanna know
how this all comes full circle
I played in PM
or sorry P plus
this weekend at
the furry of melee
the furry of melee
and it's a mod of brawl
made to play a lot faster
and differently
and it had a huge following
but now it got like
put in the corner
by Nintendo
so it's kind of like
this weird underground scene
still sick game
I really like to play
PC Chris returned after three years.
Cheated, and what did he do?
He told a bunch of people he was going to start streaming,
scammed them out of giving him money for a computer to stream,
and then disappeared.
Chillin' raised the money for it.
That was hype.
Chillin' streamed was like, let's get PC Chris a streaming PC.
That was classic.
I love a rug pull on the smallest scale,
and that's what it was.
Rug pull for like a couple K?
Yeah.
Let's go, baby.
And so I entered PM,
and I'm just going to call it PM.
P plus is the new name.
And I'm playing,
and I haven't played in a long time,
but I play Ganon,
and I enter,
and these are people who have played this game a lot.
They know all that.
There's like a shitload of matchups.
Play against a Lucario player,
literally wearing a Raichu outfit game a lot. They know all that there's like a shitload of matchups. Play against a Lucario player literally wearing
a Raichu outfit
with a tail.
Wait,
what is a Raichu outfit?
Like a Raichu like onesie.
So it's like orange.
So it's like slimming.
He's not like thick, right?
But it's like an orange back.
It's not like a mascot costume.
It's like as if you,
it's like something
you would like
order on stream.
It's a onesie.
It's a onesie.
And it's very clearly Raichu
not Pikachu.
Yes, because it was
a lot of brown
Yeah I see
And there was the tail
And I was like
Okay
And then I get diced up
By Lucario
And then I'm like
There we go
And it's on stream actually
Because it was the first round
On stream
And yeah
And then the next round
I play
I play someone
Named Quandiferous
Which is
He's actually friends
With Mike
And Mike plays a lot of PM.
And the guy, he plays Luigi.
And he was winning.
And he starts, like, fucking spot dodging, like, nine times in a row.
He's, like, he's playing very disrespectful.
I'm getting mad.
I'm like, this is.
Yeah, I'm mad.
This checks out.
I don't deserve this.
That's what's on things.
I'm just trying to play a normal game.
And I'm being treated like I'm a joke, you know, in the game.
He spot dodges three times.
It wasn't three. It wasn't three.
It wasn't three.
It was literally nine in a row.
And he was only up one stock.
I'm like, why, dude?
Like, this is so much hubris.
Anyway, I tell Mike about it.
I'm like, do you know this guy?
He's like, yeah.
I'm like, FOS for life.
I hate him.
Like, we are not cool ever and then
Mike's like I hate to tell you this
but he's really funny and
instantly all my anger melted away
Quandiferous? Yeah. Tyler song
I've learned this about slime not recently
just in general that
humor is everything
I was actually talking about this recently with
a fan
a fan at main stage was like should I go go up to him and try to make him laugh because I want him to do this thing?
And I said, do not do that.
You told him to leave me alone.
I said, actually just leave him alone.
Yeah, which I appreciate.
Because that's actually what he wants.
Even though you don't get what you want out of that exchange, that's what he wants.
And I was like, so people have this sort of spectrum of what they sort of desire.
People they keep close or like want to talk to everyone you know it's like oh 10 of it is like
they're passionate about stuff and like 20 is this slimes is 95 you are funny slimes hierarchy
of needs it's it's not if you are funny it's just you are funny do not do crime yeah no it's it's
pussy nyquil being funny shit Shit, bro. That's it. That's chill.
That's a Saturday night.
No.
No.
Do I have a pussy?
Yes, sir. How much NyQuil I drink?
No, it's just my needs of a human.
Oh, I see.
I get that now.
Not my desires in somebody else.
I thought this was your judgment of character.
No, no, no.
Okay.
It's literally like food, shelter, self-actualization.
But yeah, humor's at the bottom. It's the base. Yeah. A, no, no. I was like, okay. It's literally like food, shelter, self-actualization. But yeah,
humor's at the bottom.
It's the base.
Yeah.
A sturdy, sturdy base.
I learned this
because there'd be people
who he would really dislike
for reasons that I felt
were small.
And then they'd say
something funny online
and they'd be like,
I like that guy.
This happened with Prezzo.
Yeah.
This exact thing
happened with Prezzo.
Yeah, he was like,
I hate Prezzo.
He was like,
I hate that guy.
I thought he was being genuinely mean to you and I didn't like that. But then I found out happened with Prezzo. Yeah, he was like, I hate Prezzo. He was like, I hate that guy. I thought he was being
genuinely mean to you
and I didn't like that
but then I found out
he was just funny.
Which is admirable
because you're going
to bat for your friend.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's so funny
because it just
changes everything.
Speaking of furry,
that's why,
looping back to furry,
that's why Sonic Fox
is the greatest gamer
to ever exist.
Yeah, he's one of them.
Yeah.
He's so sick.
If you don't know,
he's like,
what is he the best in the world at? Like all fighting games. He, he's one of them. Yeah. He's so sick. If you don't know him, he's like, what is he the best
in the world at?
Like all fighting games.
A bunch of them.
He's won like five Evos.
Injustice,
Killer Instinct.
MK.
It's funny,
because Sonic Fox
will pick up a game
that a scene,
for instance,
like Mortal Kombat
has been playing
for years and years,
and then come in,
clean up,
and then like just
go to a different game.
While wearing his fursona.
That's right.
And he'll just dust you in his fursona. And you can put your life into something, and then he just go to a different while wearing his fursona that's right yeah and
he'll just dust you in his fursona and you can put your life into something and then he'll pick it up
beat you with his fursona on yeah i think uh sonic fox's twitter bio for a long time was like a black
queer furry who will mix your shit in fighting games yeah and i'm like i think he will yeah
and he literally will as advertised yeah yeah i've. I've played one game with Sonic Fox before.
Oh, yeah?
And it was Mario Party 4.
Oh, I bet you win that one.
He got his shit mixed.
I bet you win that one.
And I will never forget it.
I'm 1-0.
And he said, who's black and queer now?
That would be the most insane stolen dollar.
Maybe of all time.
Obama shows up on your doorstep.
That would be the most batshit thing to say in that moment.
Immediately change your Twitter description.
I found out that is a federal crime.
Obama in 2013 made it a federal crime to gain things or pretending to be in the military,
even if it's an Applebee's discount.
I'm down for that.
Yeah.
You can go to prison.
Hey, can I play Guitar Hero in your Chuck E. Cheese?
I made that up.
Was this on the yard somebody was like i forget who but we were talking about doing an irl stream it was
like me and saikuno dressed up to try that was last week yeah yeah they're still in about people
like that bit i rethought of the bit of connor fucking all the pocket pussies and i literally
started laughing and just again him sweaty with a hard hat.
But yeah, he's
like blue collar.
He's like, yeah,
our days.
I love it.
There's soot all
over.
He's got soot for
some reason.
Can you imagine
like looking out
like thousand yards
there?
Like I just I
gotta get back.
He gets home to
his wife.
He's like, I can't
do it anymore.
Boss is dogging me.
I don't make enough
for this.
Job's ruined my life.
Benefits are terrible.
Not all of them pass quality control.
I'm chafing so bad.
Dude, your dick would be calloused like your heel.
Like you're a rock climber.
You wouldn't feel anything.
Yeah, he wouldn't.
He'd be chalking up.
People would think it's a good job,
and it'd actually be miserable.
Your QA by the end of a couple months would be terrible.
You would not be able to tell us it was good anymore.
Are you supposed to come to QA a fleshlight?
No.
But you do have to be hard.
Hey, the sanitation team needs to QA too.
Dude, you have to just be stringing back-to-back Viagras
if you want to get through an eight-hour shift.
At that point, I think automation saves us, right?
We just create a robot that can come.
You create a robot.
And feels. And feels. And it's like, what did you think of that one, robot? And just create a robot that can come. You create a robot. And feels.
And feels.
And it's like,
what'd you think of that one, robot?
And he's like, it was okay.
I wish there was a mouth on the other end.
Do you think it will love me?
It's the portal voice.
That's like not far off
from what was happening in the next podcast.
Dude, it's portal,
but they're all pocket pussies.
All the portals. All the portals? All the portals., but they're all pocket pussies. All the Portal.
All the Portals?
Or it's a pocket pussy.
It's a Portal gun, that's a pocket pussy,
and it shoots pussies into the wall.
The voice is Amaranth.
And it's no words,
it's just the suck sounds.
It's just tongue.
Just every movie replaced.
Limitless, but you have to fuck a pocket pussy to be a genius.
Yeah, in the comments, insert a pocket pussy into a movie somehow.
This is like a tweet Hungrybox would put out.
Funniest one gets shown the next episode.
What movie would you add pocket pussy to to make it hilarious?
He posted on r slash pocket pussy Twitter.
You guys, if you don't know.
What? No, I'm down. It's funny. It happened. It did happen. at pussy Twitter? You guys, if you don't know, if nobody's seen it,
what?
No, I'm down.
It's fine. It happened.
Hungrybox once,
who's the top
Melee player.
That's herstory.
It's his herstory.
He once tweeted
on the subreddit
r slash black people Twitter.
He posted an image, which was, was it his own tweet?
It was his own tweet.
It was Hungrybox's own tweet, which had something to do with like Dragon Ball Z.
And he posted it on r slash black people twitter, which I believe.
He's like fellas.
Which was a subreddit.
I'm at the cookout.
And everyone was like, it got found really quickly that hbox
did it and they were like what the fuck are you doing the weird part was like he didn't he didn't
do it on like an alt account or like a run away he's not black it's yeah it's that's a big
component it's his own yeah it says when you let go the gas pump and it hit exactly 30 on the first
try and then it's Goku reacting saying
so this is the power of Ultra Instinct.
This is so funny.
He kept his own tweet header in it.
Dude, insane.
To this day, I look at this and I'm like, what was
going through your head? Growth, probably.
Is there
a funny tweets Twitter?
Can you post it there? I don't know.
I just feel like it wasn't related to the community, maybe. No't but it's just like you know how i did the video like youtube is is
um skill not luck part of it was me donating fifty dollars to miskiff to post the video about him
people apparently miskiff told me have donated two thousand dollars to him oh yeah wow any bag
catchers they donated two thousand dollars to him with just like Wow. Any bag catchers? They donated $2,000 to him
with just like
the most random videos.
Why him?
It's so funny.
You see it in a long video
and you're like,
I must do Miskif.
That's the streamer
that I need to do it.
A couple people did it to me
and it's like the videos
would be like,
this is a 10 minute dissertation
on why the Baroque period
was the greatest.
And I was like,
I appreciate this video
but this is not what I want
to watch on stream.
That's passion.
It is passion but it's like, there's a very specific community I was targeting by donating to Mizgift.
And they're like, oh, you just donate to Miz.
And then the video pops off.
It is funny.
Me and Eamon were talking today about it's still in the Smasher mindset slash grind set to like,
I just got to put in hours, bro.
I'll just play Melee for nine hours straight on stream.
And that's how I grow my stream. And it it's like yeah that's not that was my question that's actually what i wrote down is like for instance let's say all right let's say hugs
because it's the way i feel about hugs's stream hugs has demonstrated to me that i don't want to
watch his stream right like he is he makes stuff, and then I was like,
it's always going to be the same thing,
and I've decided I don't like it, right?
And I say this because he's like, he's Smash and Smash adjacent,
so he kind of was the first for me to experience this.
And so I'm like, I'm never going to, like, be interested in that stream.
And I'm wondering, can people blow it?
Like, people who have been, like, streaming for four years,
to 20 viewers, like, are they done?
Because in so many people's minds that they've already encountered, the first impression was, I don't want to watch this person.
I think everyone is, like, could just get blown up by some random thing.
Yeah, if a video hugs, like, okay, let's just say a MrBeast video got posted on Hugs' channel, you'd immediately blow up.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
So it's like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. No no even if people were aware of you and don't care about you i think it's
because i think it's because if you blow that first impression you're only accessing like a
small portion of some community so maybe you ruined it with them but there's always another
pool of people that you put have the potential to like set a new first impression you may as well
stream the first time ever to those people.
Also, sometimes someone might have watched a yard
and been like, this isn't for me.
It's too much of a boys club, yada, yada.
Seen a clip at a friend recommended,
and then they're like, oh, I actually fuck with the yard.
And I'm sure a bunch of people in the comments are like,
oh, yeah, that's me. What's up, man?
So it's like, you know,
you'll just give things second chances sometimes.
I actually am curious because there are some comments on like,
you know, we're on episode like what?
This is 20, right?
Barely legal.
Congratulations, 20th episode.
Woo!
Anyway, for those commenting on like the last video, like I'm watching the podcast for the first time.
This is great.
I'm wondering like how you decide to watch it like 19 episodes in, you know?
Yeah, well, I think it's because it's not titled in a way where it's like oh you gotta
watch the first 20 it's number 20 now it's in the thumbnail but it's like a pretty small part of it
i'm more just saying like what changed between like oh i see what you mean yeah oh well yeah
right they didn't know about it yeah or good title good combo yeah potentially i guess that's the
what it comes down to there's been a ton of projects that like i like i think for a good
a good example of this is uh cold ones where it's like something that i knew about for a long time i've i was watching max mofo like
pokemon videos like years and years like i knew who he was dude max is such a dog i'm sorry i'll
go to that later uh and like i knew anything for views because he's like he was like in tons of
shit online um and but i'd never ever watched their show and then they just one of the thumbnails
hit for me and i was like oh what's this and i clicked on it and now i like their show
okay um so they just had to like nothing was getting me even though i knew who they were
and knew i already liked them i just like i wasn't a type of person who clicks and watches a show
on youtube and then now that i know i like their thing when i see a new one i'm like oh yeah sure
i'll watch it um yeah so i think people
just like don't know about us and then they find out about us and you know what gets me big what
what loops me in is what gets you big yeah what gets you big and strong for me wow i didn't think
i didn't think how big is it how big were you give me as big as you can right now you know what
hooks me in yeah and gets me big? Is friend recommendations.
Like, if someone says
this is really good.
Not randomly sent things.
I sent so many videos that you haven't watched.
That's not true. I watch all your shit.
You watch all your shit?
No, I sent one one time that you didn't
watch, and now I will never send you a video
again. That's okay. That was what happened.
That's alright. You will send me stuff
and you have never
friend recommendations
are also huge.
Yeah.
It's you know it's
fun.
Well not even also not
even just friends if
someone I like trust
their opinion one time
lucky tweeted about
Final Fantasy 15 and I
was I had never played
it.
He's like this is a
great Final Fantasy game.
I love it and I played
those games all the time
and I played it because
of that tweet and I liked it was good. And I played those games all the time. And I played it because of that tweet. And I liked it.
It was good.
I watched Squid Game because of Shroud.
Same thing.
That will go a long way.
Otherwise, you probably wouldn't have heard of it.
I wouldn't have heard of it.
Yeah, you've gone around to that.
Why is everyone talking about squids?
Speaking of, okay, holidays are coming.
Two big things from the holidays.
And I brought this up because of Max MoFo.
Is the YouTube AdSense. Because Max MoFo, if you guys don't know, two big things from the holidays and i brought this up because the max mofo is the youtube ad
sense because mac max mofo if you guys don't know youtube ad gets it gets way more dollar per view
in in december and i remember max going up oh it goes way up in december you get about double
whoa or triple yeah whoa it goes nuts so max uploaded like eight videos in December. I would watch every one of the Pokemon unboxing.
I was really into Pokemon.
January 1st hits, Ghost Town for like three months.
I'm gone, bro.
And I was like, bro, come back.
I was watching that.
That's so funny.
Bad Getters Incorporated.
He just knows what's up.
And he's making Pokemon card content.
I feel like that's juicy for advertisers.
Something new.
What's that? This year for the first time, I'm getting
the Mariah bump.
Is that when...
That's really sick.
I'm just guessing what this is.
I don't already. Is this when
Mariah Carey's Christmas songs
bump your music?
No, Mariah Carey, every year, there's a noticeable tick on her views.
It's like a phenomenon.
You can Google zip, but like the Mariah Carey, whatever.
And in every holidays, her views just go through the roof.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like November 1st drop, she had a TikTok ready.
That was like fully produced thing.
And she's like, it's Christmas, bitches.
And, you know, it was her song, All I Want for Christmas is You.
I'm getting the Mariah bump with A Very Mogul Christmas.
Oh, that's very cool.
I'm getting a bit of a bump already.
Shake tweeted out.
Apparently, he got someone sending the song to him for some reason.
Yeah, this is the Mariah bump.
Wow.
It's an older screenshot, but it checks out.
This is honestly for all Christmas songs, I would imagine.
But for Mariah, it's a very special time.
The inventor of Christmas.
For me and Mariah.
For me and Mariah.
You and Mariah.
And to both of you, I say fuck it up, bitch.
And you guys go way back.
Yeah, I'm like the Santa, she is the elf.
No.
Yeah?
No.
I think it's like, she's like Christ.
Okay.
And you're like Buddy you're like you're like
buddy like Will
Farrell.
You know I'll take
that.
That's not that bad.
I so I normally am
someone who like when
it's Christmas time I
think about like the
gifts like you know
two weeks before and
I get them all in and
I think I'm a decent
gift giver.
But this year I
thought of one of your
gifts like a month
ago.
Me.
It came instantly to me. Me. And I think it'll of one of your gifts like a month ago me it came instantly to me me and I
think it'll be one of the best gifts not that I ever give but that the person will ever receive
based on the things that they like no so you're talking about for Ludwig this person is Anthony
oh no I thought I get you the best I thought of Anthony's gift months ago and I think it is one of the best gifts you'll ever get.
I will say you,
you guys got me the Ram ranch shirt last Christmas and that's one of my most
prize shirts ever.
This is going to hit.
You guys,
no fucking clue.
I'm working on it,
but slime is fucking ready.
You get him some sort of instructions on how to wash expensive clothes.
This sick thing is happening this year with me and Cutie.
She just tells me everything she wants for Christmas.
That's high.
That is high.
It's so sick.
She learned.
She learned after you got her the wrong size shoes.
I'm just like fucking weeks before stressing because she always goes so above and beyond
for my bar mitzvahs.
And I have to feel-
Every single one of your bar mitzvahs. i have to feel every single one yeah of your bar mitzvahs and i guess
i turned 13 girl now i turn 26 so i get the second one so i feel like i have to go above and beyond
for everything she does but like i'm not as good at it so i'm just kind of like throwing shit at
the board and like being like do you like it and i like keep wanting her to do like a huge reaction
but she's like pretty neutral through g reactions, like you would imagine Nick would be.
Bro, you are like this.
Dude.
I'm a great gift receiver.
I'll do this.
Wow, this is awesome.
Yeah.
That's a great reaction.
Dude, it's your whole family.
You bought your sister a car,
and she was like, thanks.
Yeah.
And you were like, yeah.
And then you asked both of you about the interaction.
And you're like, yeah, it was great.
Yeah.
What the fuck's wrong with you guys?
You're two sims that just hit talk.
It's like a walkthrough in a movie.
We're just going to do a walkthrough.
And it's like, all right, cool.
You guys just four gifts.
Well, you're at Christmas as children.
You just like turn all the sounds off.
You close all the windows.
And you just, here's my gift.
My mom would go absolutely nuts, just
bust down with nothing but the juice
and we'd open it up and be like, wow, thanks mom.
What is that?
The gift is what you meant.
Are you saying your mom would like
twerk?
Your mom
busts down with the juice.
So it's X-Men, eggnog flying. Mama's busting down with the juice. So it's X-Men. Eggnog flying.
Mama's busting down with the juice.
Nothing but the juice.
Everything's getting not wrapped.
We were getting bagels today.
Me, Aiden, and Maya.
Dude, he was.
This guy was being a menace this morning.
A little under menace.
They have this new coffee.
It's made with Biscoff, which love and so i'm like oh biscoff
coffee and the guy behind the counter is like yeah and i'm like i'll bust down and maya she's
like looking at me so incredulously she's like what me and my me and maya had i had a moment
really it like popped off we're stuck with this fucking yes it's been like this for weeks
dude i told her i said to him i like, why can't you be normal?
Damn, they got the Delta complimentary coffee going now.
Yes, sir.
Crazy.
Ludwig gets a little airplane treat and he's like.
I love those Biscoffs.
Delta?
They're playing cookies.
My flyer mile's coming too?
It's fucked up, it's only them.
That have the Biscoffs? No other airlines have Biscoff cookies.
Probably some deal they stroke.
Yeah, they probably did stroke that one.
Bro, you're just like choosing words.
No, no.
Past tense of stroke.
Don't snort.
No, it's good.
That's smart.
Smart to say.
Hey, why is the first topic blowing
I was gonna say something
You went to bagels
With Maya
And Eamon
And you did something
We went without you
Dude it was gonna be the best bit
Best shit
What was crazy though
So Maya's visiting right
And like she doesn't know
Us that well
She doesn't even
I don't know her that well
But she barely knows you guys
No me and her are homies.
Say it once.
Ask her.
Road dogs.
Dead homies?
Ask her.
Cutie said she really likes me.
Okay, you just gave a first impression that was good.
No, they're homies.
No.
I continued to give good impressions.
Barring Nick, Maya's not that familiar with the other people in the house.
And we went to get bagels.
Me, Maya.
I'm sorry. Nick just did a really good Fortnite dance fortnight dance i wish you did it for like a minute bro bro i was that wasn't for now
audio listener you should probably watch a video how sick would it be if we made it in 2021 or
2022 we made a fucking jerking video like rejecting we should do like in middle school
oh shit that would be bad. I don't bite
to that yet. Totally sick. Aw, fuck.
You guys have no idea. Someone out there is like, that'd be sick.
Yeah.
When I make a reference...
Me and Maya are making a fucking...
We got our backpacks on, we're fucking...
Now for the Yard Patreon. Maya
teaches you how to Dougie.
So, Maya's over.
Doesn't know everyone that well. Me, Maya, Aiden
go get bagels. We come back. Slime
just rises out of bed. He had messaged
a group chat. Anyone want to get bagels? We left.
We didn't reply to him. We didn't see it. We didn't get him anything.
You all made fun of him when you were out together.
We come back. We're eating the bagels.
Now again, Maya does not know them that well.
Slime comes down. He's like, you got
bagels? You got bagel, man? This was good.
And Aiden's like, yeah, I got bagel, man.
I got up real close to him.
I got like this.
He gets up in his face right next to him in a threatening way.
Aiden kind of like powers walks over.
He shrivels into a ball.
He shrivels into a ball, goes over to get a fork to eat his meal.
Slime, while he does this, just eats the egg that's a part of his meal. No, no. Aiden's getting a fork to eat like an slime while he does this just eats the egg that's a part of his meal
no no he he even's getting a fork to eat like an egg that fell his bagel i scoot i slide in front
of his meal and i sit there like it's mine now and then you and i'm like this looks good and then he
he gets a fork out of the drawer and i i i put out my hand for him to hand it to me my eyes watching
maya's watching this horrified like She's not horrified. She laughed.
Like a
nervous laughter like, oh, is my meal next?
No, she laughed like that was a good bit. Is the guard
coming through?
Oh shit, did I have to pay taxes on my bagel today?
Me and Eamon,
that was a tag team bit.
You and Maya are best friends now.
No.
If I'm her and I see that, I'm like, that guy's cool.
We got to address this now, by the way, before this gets away from us.
We did hit 10K in the Patreon, which does mean you need to get a tattoo, Nick.
So we need to discuss how we are going to get you equipped with a tattoo.
How do people get to choose what you get a tattoo?
Do you have any idea?
Well, I announced this to the Discord
already, but to the general
population. To the general pubis.
The way that we're doing this.
To the general pubis.
We have a Discord
server. So if you're in the Patreon,
we have a Discord. And in the
Discord, we have a channel that
is for suggestions for my tattoo.
This channel has a
shit ton of suggestions in it now.
They are fucking awful.
There is nothing
to be redeemed in there. You really disappointed
Nick. Come on. But
one of them is going on my body permanently
forever. That's right. So the way we're going to do it
is we are going to create a bracket that Aiden will
seed.
That is single elimination.
Why does the man with zero tattoos seed this?
Because he's the most experienced.
He's a TO.
He would know how to seed them the best.
I would know how to seed.
Which is literally just ordering things from best to worst,
is what seeding is.
So we're going to make a single elimination bracket.
It'll be voting base, so you vote,
and it goes to the next round.
And then when it gets to the very last two for grand finals, it's Marby's.
Ooh.
I did that for my tattoo.
That's cool.
I'm taking from the bag of Ludwig Trix.
Nick is a swagjacker of me.
He took my puff.
Oh, my God.
He took my puff.
That's right.
He took my tattoo.
I didn't take your puff.
I learned from your puff.
He took your Disney clothes.
He took my rock climbing.
Don't say that one.
Make him take that back. He took my Disney clothes. He took my rock climbing. Don't say that one. Make him take that back.
He took my Disney clothes.
Oh my God.
You guys look like
you just struck
the most important deal
of oil
in the history of oil.
I want one of the tattoos
to be you took
Ludwig's Disney clothes.
Yeah, you took
the Mickey Mouse hoodie.
You swag jacked Ludwig.
The reason why
I wanted Marvy's at the end for the public, it's know for the public it's like oh it's hype for me i'm
like marby's is by the way random i'm like it's my out if there's one that like is a clear winner
in this race it creates a coin flip that at least i have a chance right okay like let's say there's
a clear winner that is like horrible it gives me a coin flip. So let me recap. It's double.
The final two will be Marbies head-to-head.
Yes.
So literally just two Marbles.
No, it'll be like 50 of each.
So that you can't tell immediately who's going to win it. Right.
I was just thinking that.
This is a voting process for the bracket?
How does the bracket work?
Yeah.
I found a way to do this.
Can I just be like, yo, boys, on stream and just rig the bracket?
Yes.
That's the Ludwig way.
Boys, can you just vote Nick is dumb pussy, please?
Hey, voting will be Patreon only because it's their choice.
They only give $5 to me.
I would say, based on the content that's been posted so far,
there is a very high chance my face ends up on your body.
Zipper, why don't you go through
can I ask a question how do we
add things to the bracket
is that a thing that's determined by
you there's a chat
there's a channel on the discord so basically I
created like a guideline of like things
that I will not accept and then I
am essentially going through and picking things
that like I am willing to
put on my body and I'm being very loose
with it like I am a things I think are like
the like fucking terrible but
I'm like whatever it's not something you like that you
have off limits like
a swastika gosh
you're gonna say that no matter what I said
yeah I was and I'm sad you said
swastika because now I look like a Nazi
but a better example is like
if someone someone was
like some people were putting like jokes from episodes that like just happened and i'm like
that won't be funny in like a week pull my pud for life i'd rather be pulling my pud pulling my
pud and my dad's older than all of us like like a lot of people wrote like luca brazzi because
it's so funny and i'm like it's like oh i'm so funny. And I'm like, it's just so passing.
And I'm like,
it doesn't make sense.
Like, that kind of stuff
gets left out.
But if it's like,
like, there's ones of like,
it's like Eamon deep-fried
smoking weed.
I'm like, yeah,
I don't want that,
but like, it's in there.
So I included it.
I'm assuming these are just,
by the way, ideas,
not the drawing.
And then the drawing
will be made from the idea.
I made it a rule
in the server
that if you're going to submit an idea
You have to submit a picture
It doesn't mean that the picture has to be the final version
I just need a reference
Because if we are going to make it better we'll have the artist draw it
But I need a reference
Can I add some things to this bracket?
You will rig it if you do that
If you add something you will rig it
You have to add it as an alt
An alt comes in and just adds a random idea.
Or you could slide somebody a fiver.
I'll slap him a fiver.
There's a way to do this, but I don't think someone would leak because Nick's like a fan
favorite and you're the heel.
And I'm the heel.
And Eamon's the heel.
And Nick's the heel.
We're a dude with four heels.
It's not going to work.
Well, either way, I'm pretty hyped for it.
Is any aspect of it live?
My dream would be if we could just have the artist come up here and do the episode while I'm getting tattooed.
Oh, that'd be hype.
Oh, we could do that.
Yeah, we should just do that.
I know a few artists.
I think I can make a half.
I love it.
We could also just better do it at a tattoo shop.
That'd be fun.
The episode?
Do the episode.
Write it out?
Go to a tattoo shop for a night. After close,
just be like, yo, can you keep it open?
It's hard to get your equipment up here.
Let's do that.
Good idea!
Sometimes you get great ideas.
Oh my god!
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Left hand.
Hit you with the reverse. Hit you with the reverse.
Get fucked, idiot.
Hit you with the reverse.
What the hell was that?
That means don't get too big for your fucking britches, bro.
Okay, I have been meaning to tell you about my secret tattoo.
Like, I got a secret tattoo.
No, you didn't.
I don't believe you.
Well, I can show you.
You're gonna show us?
On the bonus episode.
Oh!