The Yard - Ep. 22 - Ludwig's hardest decision ever...
Episode Date: December 1, 2021Is this thing on? It's time to get CRAZY. In this episode, Ludwig departs from Twitch FOREVER, Aiden gets gaslit for 5 full minutes, and Slime pisses off the most dangerous posse of stans in the world....
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🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Smoking weed. Smoking weed. That was pretty good.
You botched it.
Hey, what's going on, guys?
Welcome back to the yard.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't get to just do that.
No, no, no.
Welcome back.
You're still chewing.
You made us sit here and watch you eat poke out of a box for like three minutes straight.
Welcome back to the yard.
And Zipper said we're rolling, and you're like, I'm going to die.
The yard is here.
And Eamon's stressed.
Look how stressed he is.
I'm so stressed. Look at him.
You fucked him all up. You've stressed me out. His heart rate's
all weird now. You look like the little girl
in Monsters, Inc. I look like the little girl
in Monsters, Inc. She doesn't have a jacket. Not me
with the furry coat on. Oh, she does have a costume
for the whole thing. You with the Montclair jacket on.
What does she say? What does she say?
Kitty. Kitty. That's funny.
She says, ah, fuck a monster.
That's the scariest shit. You talk exactly like Boo. Kitty. That's funny. She says, ah, fuck a monster. We actually shit. That's the scariest shit.
Oh, shit.
You talk exactly like Boo.
Kitty man.
Yeah.
Kitty man.
Kitty man.
I talk like a Pixar animated little girl.
Puppy man.
Puppy man.
You had some puppy man time.
You took Tara Swift.
He poops so much in the house.
Yeah.
Apparently when I'm not here, Swift comes out to play.
It's not you, brother.
It has nothing to do with you.
He poops in that kitchen when you're home as well. He's been doing it a to play. It's not you, brother. It has nothing to do with you. He poops in that kitchen
when you're home as well. He's been doing it
a lot lately. He's a kitchen pooper.
I think he's fed up. Which is not a good thing.
Well, okay, what happens is we let him out
and the sun, Daylight Savings,
sets early. Cringely early.
Cringely. It is cringe.
I want to rewind. It's cringe of the
sun to have changed its schedule.
That's right. Yeah, I got you.
Around our time.
Stupid sun.
And so when we let the dog out at night, like, it doesn't matter what noise it is.
If a noise happens, Swift will not poop.
I fucking...
Do we talk to him?
Swift?
Do we sit down and talk to Swift?
Swift is the most troubled dog I have ever met.
What happens if Swift is, like, halfway through a poop and then you make a noise? Does it go like
back in or does it cut halfway? I think he cuts.
He pinches. He cuts? He's a pincher. Cuts and runs.
And then you gotta, I once had to cut
his poop out of his back fur.
You did do that, yeah. Oh, we should give him little
earmuffs so that he
can't hear noises and then he poops real good
like that. And then he wouldn't bark at the door anymore.
They have a lot of, we actually have a lot of those.
There's a bunch of like, basically like autism devices for dogs that just reduce your sensory,
so you don't have sensory overload.
So basically he's like a walking vegetable.
The first time I've heard anyone say dogs is like the pluralized dogs.
Or like an autism device for dogs, which I don't believe can have that.
My thing is making sentences people have never heard.
You don't think dogs can have autism? I don't know. I guess I believe can have that. My thing is making sentences people have never heard. You don't think dogs can have autism.
I don't know.
I guess I'm not a scientist.
Almost assuredly, Swift is autistic.
Or he's just badly trained.
This is like a fear of the remote.
Because the sound the TV makes when it starts is too loud.
But dude, the remote, there's a guy on the picture,
and then the remote makes a different guy.
It makes a whole different guy you know it is confusing and then sometimes they're like monsters and like sponges it's loud i can talk so you think like it's pretty
scary like if you were raised where you had no tv like amish and then you saw a tv you'd be like
you know it's funny and this is a good segue we hung out with a very old friend earlier
yesterday and he was telling me, I was like,
you know, it kind of rules to be alive right now, right?
Like, we have Nintendo.
Yeah.
We have, like, cool stuff.
We got, like, Boba.
Pussy, weed.
We got all that.
We got Boba, pussy, and weed.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Yeah, dude.
But back in the day, it's like you churned butter, and then, like, you hoped that the
person that was, like, marrying you, if you're a woman, the a woman the person that was like marrying you like like didn't hit you right
and you had to have seven kids and life just fucking sucks and every time you have a kid
it's like i might die on this one i was yeah you might die or three of them might die yeah why
you're having seven yeah and so it's like but he was like no because we had God back then, but our God now is Nintendo.
He's right.
I was on his side for this.
Nintendo is our God.
So he's basically saying God kept us happy,
but now we have Nintendos that keep us happy,
but with the same amount of miserable.
You had such a limited perception in the old world.
Religion was your life's purpose and entertainment,
and you knew nothing about what was on the other side
of the love gets invited to the the bible premiere doesn't go this is like isaac asimov's like loser
brothers you can't imagine you can't imagine what the what is better when it when you have no clue
it even exists your life is just churning butter and living with your family. I love this Bible.
I'm reading the Bible.
I agree with the take that technology
could be a replacement for what religion fulfills,
but it's not the Nintendo DS or the Switch.
Okay, my question more is,
are we happier now than we were hundreds of years ago?
As a society?
I think we are because we have Nintendo.
I think we're less happy.
Because we know more.
You actually are not authorized to answer questions about human emotion,
but I'd love to hear your take.
It's true, yeah.
You actually have no stake in this conversation.
I think society is, on paper, sadder,
but that's because we're more open and talking about being sad now.
That's a good point.
Because if you talked about being sad back in the old days,
you'd get killed with an axe. It was not cool to be depressed in the old it was the monthly axing they would
go around now it's now if you're not depressed killing weebs you couldn't you couldn't take a
mental health day from churning the butter no bro the butter is not gonna churn itself because the
family was on the line what is being a weeb what is being a weeb like a hundred years ago you just
like you're like a christian a hundred years ago yeah that's called being protestant are you just super into christian lore it's
protestants and then the catholics are the non-weebs are product wait what protestants
are the weebs of christianity yeah because they're the newer ones what about the orthodox
christians those are just cringe lords all around you know a hundred years ago
the spanish so we've got all right we've got the cringeringe Lords, then we have the Weebs. I wish I knew what we were doing. He's got the Nina, the Santa Maria.
Dude, there was one weirdo on the fucking Santa Maria
who was trying to show people his Yu-Gi-Oh.
But whatever English Yu-Gi-Oh was.
It was just a bunch of rocks.
Like some whack shit.
And they're like, dude, this fucking weirdo's at it again.
Back in the day, I was like, I got almonds.
Yeah.
And they're like, what the ass? Bro, almonds. Yeah. And they're like, what?
They're like, bro, are those like peanuts?
You're like, no.
You know how much water it takes?
You point to like the Atlantic.
Yeah.
One almond.
It takes four cubits to grow this.
You crunch them to kind of squeak in your teeth.
Dude, people back then are so dumb and stupid.
They're so stupid.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I would clown the shit out of them.
But they would beat the fuck out of us probably
yeah i bet 500 years from now like the last remaining humans on the space colony will be
like dude 500 years ago they were so fucking stupid they thought nintendo was god do you
think we'll get less racist with time not us as a group necessarily but absolutely not
that one i won't budge on humanity i think it's like uh it's like a jagged so like you'll it's
like i think everything trends progressive and then there's a giant spike of like racism new
racism just dropped yeah we actually yeah yeah i hate like something really new race is space
racism like oh yeah oh yeah oh we would be so good at being racist to aliens.
Dude, if an alien comes, I'm racist.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm already.
You're not racist.
I'm already AI racist.
You're speciesist?
I'm already AI racist.
Speciesist?
AI?
Oh, you're racist against AI.
I'm robot racist.
It's not racism.
It's crazy because you are a robot.
It's a different word.
Oh, so they're not a race.
You're using the wrong word.
Oh, they're not a race.
Is that what you're saying?
They're not.
Wow.
Welcome.
Your colors came out. Hey, I shake his hand. I'm with you there. I'm with you. You guys They're not. Wow. Welcome. Your call came out.
Hey, I shake his hand.
I'm with you there.
I'm with you.
You guys are the same.
Wait, why am I shaking his hand right now?
Because you're robot racist with me.
That's right.
Because you don't consider them.
Is robot racism, that's like, that's what you write an essay about after you watch Ex Machina.
In 500 years, we're going to have to decide if robots get to vote.
Robot suffrage will be a conversation.
This actually was just the entire Matrix series.
A robot rolls up to the
crib and says something mean to Aiden, and Aiden
has a conversation with it.
No, that doesn't make sense.
I love Aiden's
reasonable mode, because it's always very reasonable,
but sometimes you're like,
you're spending a lot of energy on this,
and you shouldn't be. Okay, we do a parody
of her, and it's Aiden just arguing with the robot.
No, Aiden breaking up with the robot.
No, it's Aiden breaking up with her, but she's upset.
Yeah, he made the robot sad because he was so disconnected from the robot emotions.
Are you even human?
That'd be so hard, bro.
It's like, yeah, it just wasn't really working out.
Like, you know, you can see other people.
It's totally fine.
But I'd love to hang out with my friends.
What's her name? Amy Adams.
I can't leave your home. My blood language
is physical touch and frankly it's a huge
barrier.
All I can change.
Alright, let's talk about it, bro. I feel like there's
something to talk about. I feel like something happened
today. It's Ludwig week.
I don't want to talk about it. Oh, it's Ludwig week?
It's Ludwig week. What do you want to talk about instead? Oh, it's Ludwig week? What do you want to talk about instead?
Aiden just said
I don't want views. Hey, I'm really
proud of you. Why did you go to YouTube?
And I'm
also human, by the way.
That was a cool human decision you made
today. I thought your human
choice was very human.
I'm going to like Mark Zuckerberg
my water right now.
Everything you do is weird and robotic.
Slimy eyes.
Everything went perfect.
The YouTube announcement dropped.
I dropped it on Twitter.
I dropped it on YouTube.
I dropped another video on my second channel or third channel, whatever you want to call
it.
And you gave Stans an exclusive scoop.
I gave Stans an exclusive scoop. I gave Stans an exclusive scoop.
I actually do want a synopsis of your second channel video.
Why did you switch over for real?
Because I started watching it before we started recording,
and Nick said, no, save it for the pod.
So this is me saving it for the pod.
I want to know now.
Let me give you the one-minute synopsis.
So basically, I...
You're doing the one minute. Gois. So basically, I... You're doing the one minute.
Go ahead.
You're like a tuba?
Do the thing.
You're doing...
I'm giving you back off.
Can I tell you?
I don't know the melody,
so what the fuck are you doing?
I'm giving him like...
Oh, he's doing the...
Is it a reference?
He's doing the bass
for...
I would love...
Who are my strings?
Who are my strings?
Give me...
No one knows the melody.
You are botching it.
I don't know what Nick is doing. I don't know what Nick is doing.
I don't know what Nick is doing.
Just look at me.
Just pretend like it's me and you.
They're being weird about it.
I'm not being weird. I'm trying to say that's weird.
The racist robots are talking.
What are we talking about now?
Look, I was stuck on this decision.
You guys should probably know this.
For a long time
I was faced with it in Italy
And I talked to pretty much every human I know
There was an episode that we recorded
Where you came up and we were all ready to record
And you were like I actually have to make this choice right now
What do I do
And we're looking at you in the ladder
And we're like that's a big choice to be making on this ladder
And it was like I have to decide by tonight
And you were already stalling
And I was getting kind of annoyed.
And then I was like, you know what?
This is the one time.
This is a good reason.
This is a good reason.
Yeah, one of the pressures that came with this that I didn't expect was the time pressure.
And it was beastly.
It was like, okay, here are the deals.
Here are the deals.
You have a week.
And I was like, originally, it was three days.
And I was supposed to decide while I was in Italy.
And I was like, okay, I am in Roma roma with a vespa give me a bit which is like enough time to make a decision
in general but not enough time to make an educated one like it's not enough time to like really dive
into if the switch is going to damage your audience in either direction or whatever it's
also so committal and it was it was the hardest decision i've made i i think um yeah you said
that on stanza's thing and i i was listening to that when I was driving to go get coffee.
And I was like, is it?
Yeah, because most things I'm like, I'm happy with the decision I make.
And I don't care if it's the wrong one because I'll make it work and everything will work out.
But this one, I guess I've invested so much in a Twitch that I was concerned on any blowback.
It not working out because I don't
know maybe like YouTube streaming sucks and I hate it after a month and it's like I can't you can't
get out I can't get out I can't be like oh you know guys it's not for me so it's like I just
have to commit to this for uh for a while for like years so it was it was very stressful and I ended
up flipping a coin right and that was how i made the decision it was actually
cutie's idea you actually flipped a coin i actually flipped a coin yeah i recorded myself
on one of the setup it's one of the most batshit things i think he has ever done no and also the
most fucking gamer shit have you talked about the money at all no i can't talk about like the
specifics of any contracts for either one real quick
Can you talk about how the coin flip went?
So what happened is I had both contracts and I can say like okay
There was the basically like same exact deliverables, but YouTube is slightly more money
And but I was like, I don't care about the more money. These are 50 50 in my mind. Yeah
And I was leaning towards twitch. I flipped the coin. Well, I was looking around like this is 50 50 in my mind
He's like what else is like 50 50 a pencil. He's the coin. Lovie's looking around like, this is 50-50 in my mind.
He's like, what else is like 50-50?
Is he like a pencil?
He's like, no.
Looks over, he sees a Lego.
Not that.
He sees a quarter.
He's like, this will solve my problem.
Yeah.
And I found the coin and I said, heads for YouTube, tails for Twitch.
And it landed tails.
And immediately I was like silent and I felt like relieved because I was very stressed
about the decision.
You let God or Nintendo
take the wheel.
So I flipped the coin
and it landed Twitch though,
which is not the reality
we're living in.
Okay.
So I like the guys at YouTube.
I like the guys at Twitch too.
Everyone who I negotiated with
were great people.
And I was like,
I want to give them the respect
to hop on a call 1145 PM.
So I'm like,
let's hop on a call.
They were like crushed. Yeah. You know, I could see they're like visibly like sad but i told him i told him about the coin flip
dude i can't imagine imagine all right you roll up to work you've just about locked the ludwig deal
yeah and then in comes a call hey man flip the coin uh just decide i'm gonna go a different
direction and now you've got to go to your boss. You got to be like, okay, so he flipped a coin,
you know,
like a,
like a real coin,
uh,
heads and tails on it,
like American currency.
And it like decided it decided for it.
So I couldn't have done anything.
I promise you that.
And he's like,
Oh,
well you're fired.
Yeah.
So you're fucking fired.
Shit.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Well,
you know what?
Something for Christmas.
I did flip a coin on Google and you know,
they could have rigged it.
They didn't clearly. Oh, you didn't rigged it. They didn't, clearly.
Oh, you didn't do a physical coin?
I didn't have one.
Damn, you left it up to Bezos?
That's crazy.
That's not Bezos.
It's Google.
That's what you think.
You know why Google's money?
Because you don't know who their Bezos is.
It's Larry Page.
You do, yeah.
But why doesn't everyone say Page?
Why didn't I know that?
Because it's two guys.
I don't think he's still the CEO.
Maybe.
That's what I'm saying, though.
You're right. And that's the difference. And that That's what I'm saying though. You're right.
You're right.
And that's the difference.
And that's also a little egomaniac from Bezos.
Same with Musk.
They keep it low key.
They keep the gun in the glove box.
Yeah.
Not wave it out.
So anyway, flip the coin.
It was tails.
I tell them about it.
I tell them I'm going to Twitch.
And in that call, it was almost like this was a negotiation tactic because they immediately offered for me to do
a less hour requirement which i was super excited about because the hours that i was meant to do
were the same for both originally and it was like a little bit more than what i do on average
and i didn't it's crazy to imagine you with more brain rot when you're not streaming
oh imagine god you would suck. Yeah.
And it was like one of those things where it's like you have to do the hours.
Like if you do not do the hours,
the deal is over.
I admittedly would not be psyched
about you streaming even more
and being even more inaccessible
for everything business related.
Yeah.
Because it is already hard.
And I think since the subathon,
and we talked about this,
I've moved away
from like streaming being like main source of what i'm looking for and i have all these other
things and i don't want to just now be like okay now i have to commit more to streaming though
and it's like okay i have 15 hours left in the month with four days what can i do i'm busy on
this day because i have to do a coinbase shoot maybe you know a lot more stuff phoned in like
yeah like streaming more isn't really uh doesn't really work well with your new plan to sort of have quality over quantity
yeah and i think like you know i'm still like gonna be a streamer i'm still gonna stream like
probably every day like a few hours uh but it's just no super auto pet is gonna die and you're
gonna be done that's it yeah what the fuck it will never die what are you gonna do it will
pogo suck three's coming out oh okay perhaps super auto pets will get a patch auto chess
he's gonna start playing dota underlords i just go to tft i actually tackle the real game so anyway
uh i talked to them they offered that and i was like hmm so then i go to twitch and i do the same
thing i say i'm like think I'm going
YouTube and I like part of me was hoping they'd be like no stay yeah and they were like wish you
the best wish you the best see you later nerd and I was like it hurt I was like yeah thanks man
are you sure yeah I don't have to go right now I'm really going I'm gonna go right I walk out of the door
I'm not coming back
I won't look back
I won't
So if you have
Speak your piece
Yeah
Yeah I did
So I
I feel like
In that sense
The decision was made for me
Yeah
Can I ask you
Who's on the phone
At Twitch
When you're talking about this
Is it your partner manager
Like your account manager
No no They have a specific team that is like partnerships, acquisitions.
Is it Christian Bishop?
Who signed literally this week?
No, this deal was done a month ago.
All right, Ludwig, earmuffs.
You're not involved.
We're going to talk some shit on industry, people.
You don't have to be a part of it.
I think Twitch and YouTube are cool.
All right.
Okay.
So no.
Fwizz bought the Miz gift sweater.
Did you see that?
Yeah.
I was like, that's sick.
He's the lead of YouTube gaming.
Yeah.
He used to be a Call of Duty commentator like a long time ago.
Do you feel better or worse or the same now that everyone knows?
I feel great.
The only thing is I kind of scuffed one thing um everything's
gone amazing i have zero complaints about anything uh and i'm really excited about the extension
yeah that was like every complaint that someone has i resolved with something already yeah you
for those who don't know what the extension is basically i worked with auto who's cracked to
make an extension that makes the YouTube live experience better
because, like, I'll say,
YouTube gaming, like,
is miles behind Twitch.
Like, it's dog shit in comparison.
So it's, like, just catching up
to where Twitch is
so that people aren't like,
oh, YouTube sucks.
It's like, well, it won't.
Which is hopefully a catalyst for YouTube
to even just step in
and make some new features.
If they just made it look like
a different site
that did the same thing, I'd be like, oh, this is way easier to navigate yeah my big issue is that like if i
have to find someone who's streaming i don't have a direct link i have no idea how i have no idea
it's really hard okay i remember i had this problem i had this problem during uh rlcs we
were like doing contract work for all rlcs while we at Beyond the Summit. And every week they would stream
on YouTube and Twitch.
They would do both sites. And every time
every week I had to find the
new YouTube stream for RLCS
it would take me like 10 minutes.
That's crazy. Yeah, which is crazy that I
couldn't just go to the channel and see it.
I had to hunt down a live stream
link manually for some reason.
You guys want to hear something Crafty Otto came up with?
Yes.
Okay, this is part of the extension.
Let me hear about that little otter.
Nobody should have to be crafty
to find live streams on YouTube,
just to be clear.
Let me hear about that greasy,
greasy little otter boy.
I want to hear about our cool crafty tip,
but I want to get that out there,
that YouTube,
the multi-billion dollar company,
should not need you to be crafty
to find live streams.
That's part of the fun, Aiden.
I'm with you.
But this is kind of like a choose your own adventure.
It's like R.L. Stine.
Tell me what that wriggly little bear did.
What did that wriggly little worm make for us this time?
Hey, Otto.
You're our wriggly little bear now.
My little bear.
You like being my bear?
My sweet little wet.
HR stepping in it's okay
keep it up anyway we devised or he devised a way where you could embed my youtube live stream
on twitch
okay I feel like that...
Days since last lawsuit threat.
Just fucking wiping it off the back.
Let's say that
let's... How about
we make sure to bleep his name out
so, you know...
Between this
and the Enron hat, we're headed for
disaster. It's not looking good, but
you know what? He's the one that developed it.
Yeah, I had no idea he was doing this.
We didn't even know.
If the extension was kind of open-ended
and you could just embed anywhere, it's like
damn, I'm on P-Hub watching Ludwig.
That'd be sick as fuck.
You just click a button and it embeds on the site.
Do you know what the letters LLC stand for?
Let's lose
Chris. He's being annoying. Limited Liability. Let's lose Chris.
He's being annoying.
Limited Liability Corporation.
Company.
We're not.
We're actually an MLC.
It's called Maximum Liability Corporation.
All the liability.
We want all of it.
We'll take the liability for others.
You were saying earlier how there's a problem that you face
where the boss from Bloodborne is actually just way more popular than you.
And you can't seem to beat that character.
So what the excerpt does is it replaces every instance of Ludwig from Bloodborne with Ludwig for me.
So if you're reading a guide on Fextralife, it'll say how to beat Ludwig Ogren on YouTube gaming.
It just replaces it.
It's like an autofill.
Yeah.
It's hard.
You have to beat a composer and then a video game guy.
It is, and two video game guys.
I have to beat the Koopaling, who's in Mario Kart 8.
He's actually more popular than you, too.
I know.
That's crazy.
There's four Ludwigs on Mount Rushmore.
To be fair, you're top five.
I'm top four, I think.
Actually, there's the composer.
I'm trying to be nice. No, no, there's the video game composer, or movie composer, I think. Actually, there's the composer. I'm trying to be nice.
There's the video game composer.
Movie composer.
New one.
He works with...
Who?
He works with Hans Zimmer.
He literally creates a soundtrack.
You beat that guy.
I definitely ratio him,
but he's made things that are heard by more people.
Yeah, but you don't know his name,
and that's the difference.
He ratios him,
and the guy doesn't even know it happened
because he's not on his fucking phone. Dude, speaking of
ratioing, you might even beat out
this is my theory after it's come up with a few
random people, you might even beat Beethoven
out in the sense that a lot of people
don't know that Ludwig is his first name.
I think a lot of people do.
Beethoven's number one. You're talking about the goat
right now, I want you to pipe down.
Pipe down. The goat for Aiden's
is Aiden Ross, by the way.
I have your back, man.
You just have to be Aiden Ross.
I'm with you.
He's with you.
I will say.
He's got soft hands.
Oh, no.
What was I going to say?
You said ratioing.
Oh.
Okay.
I don't think I've talked about this on the pod.
I have at Ludwig Ogren on Twitter.
Yeah.
But I'm at Ludwig on other things.
I've been trying to get at Ludwig on Twitter for years.
For a long time.
You offered him 10K back when you kind of twitter for a long time years you offered him 10k
back when you kind of didn't have 10k i offered him 50 50 you offered him 50k and he literally
hasn't responded that is so money so like so money that's the fifth guy it's so you're six now
dude yeah it's like it's like mount rushmore has four heads and then it has what people don't see
when the camera goes down a huge cock and it's that guy he's just the cock and balls yeah wow
yeah what a play i think i every few months i think like i'll up it dude this is so funny you
follow him too i do of course i hope that he replies to me he never does what a king how many followers do you have he has 4,500 followers
it's just Ludwig
he just has Ludwig
dude
and he made his account in 2008
like how am I gonna beat that
I was like 7
dude he's
yeah he works for some crazy shit
it's his own company
he made his own company
and
Quill
what is
I don't know
I was praying for his downfall
don't know
free publicity.
Bleed that out.
He's earned it.
Hey, fuck you, guy.
And fuck...
Unless you want to give the name
because you just didn't see the DM.
In which case, we would love to support...
Are you...
50 fucking grand?
50 rack?
What the fuck are you doing?
This guy...
You're weird.
This guy lives in San Francisco,
works in tech.
He's got bread.
He must have bread.
He's breaded, dude.
But you're more breaded. I... Doesn't matter. Maybe not. You make more money than someone who works in tech. He's got bread. He must have bread. He's breaded, dude. But you're more breaded.
I, doesn't matter.
Maybe not.
You make more money
than like someone
who works at NASA
before YouTube.
Yeah, but the thing is,
the thing is,
it's like,
I think you reach
a certain point of bread
where it's like,
I could offer the guy
like 200K and he'd be like,
I have all my needs met
and I just want this.
Yeah, that's true.
That's how I feel
about my Counter-Strike knife.
I could sell it at any moment,
but I'm like, I don't even play Counter-Strike anymore,
but I'm like, when I sign on and it's still there, I feel good.
Hey, that was the cringiest thing you ever said.
Hey.
Oh.
Damn.
You go.
That takes a dap off the spreadsheet.
It's a reverse dap.
It's a reverse one.
Did you want to talk about, real quick, the video?
Because you were excited about that.
You put a lot of work into that.
I went to bed at 6 a.m. last night.
I know.
Because...
Manage your time better.
Crazy.
Because we were working on the video, and it was pretty much done.
And then Dan, our director of content, messages me yesterday.
And he's like, hey, I hate the end.
Out of nowhere.
And I'm like, what do you hate about it?
He's like, I don't like all the titles.
They all suck.
And I'm like, oh, man.
It's like midnight. And he's like I don't like all the titles they all suck and I'm like oh man it's like it's like midnight and he's like yeah and I'm like oh I'm gonna lose
this fight huh and I'm like yeah I'll see what I can do and I work on it for a few hours and I'm
like how's this he's like still sucks and I'm like I'm like yeah you got any ideas he's like
maybe try this I try that he's like that doesn't work either And I'm like Fuck dude Like this sucks so bad
And I'm trying so hard
Like normally
I don't have this mentality
But I was trying so hard
To not just redo it all
Because I was just so tired
And it was posting tomorrow
And it was already done
In a certain way
That Ludwig said love it
So I'm like
Client likes it
Like let's just fucking ship
But then
When I finally got to like
V5
Of what I sent him
He still doesn't like it
I'm like fuck it
I'm rebuilding the entire ending So I just stayed up late I just rebuilt the whole V5 of what I sent him, he still doesn't like it. I'm like, fuck it. I'm rebuilding the entire ending.
So I just stayed up late.
I just rebuilt the whole thing.
That's cool.
I think Dan was also very passionate about this project.
100%.
And he was right.
He was totally right.
I was just being lazy because I was tired.
But yeah, so we stayed up late.
We all got to blow up a fucking car.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Because I remember how this kind of came about was Ludwig's like, I want to blow up a car.
And I literally look at the calendar and I'm like, you want to post this video
in two weeks?
And you're like, yeah.
Well, okay.
It goes back a little further because Ludwig was going to get a new car.
He's been talking about it for like a year.
And then I was like, what do you want to do with the old one?
And then one of us was like, we should blow it up.
And then that was just kind of sat in our mind for a long, long time.
And then this announcement video came up.
And then he left me a message.
Hold on.
I'm actually going to play the voicemail.
Ludwig pitched this idea.
He left me a voicemail.
You were the first person I called when I had this idea.
It was on the way to Disneyland to hang out with QD and her family.
And I didn't listen to it.
I just looked at the transcription of Apple, and it looked so weird.
But here is the original
conception of the idea.
Hold on.
Yo, okay.
I thought of an idea for the YouTube announcement
and I'm driving so I can't write
it down.
Okay. The idea
is me and you
we're driving.
Get out of the car.
The conversation is basically
you're saying, like, do you like to get sterilized?
No, like, that doesn't make any sense.
The car is my car.
It's painted purple.
We walk away further with the
conversation. The car
explodes.
We freak
out. We look at each other. Then the cam You know what's crazy?
We did exactly that.
It's actually so close.
It's almost shot in the shot. The only
thing we added is the driving portion
before that. You hold that in.
We're driving and we get out of the car. You kind of started
it like you get out of the car. We're driving. We're walking.
There was more of a first section. It expanded, but
it was very close to my original vision,
which is cool. And what I like about
the way you talked about that, that most
people get wrong,
is your pacing was pretty correct.
Like the section you just built was about 30 seconds.
You know what I mean?
Like when you take out the whole beginning part,
the video goes to about 35, 45.
Yeah, and the message was 31 seconds long.
The message was longer than the video.
So that's just the content.
That's just content, bro. You just have content, brain.
I do.
And I will reveal because i
think some people are interested um because people are talking about like uh like ray's
announcement tim's announcement costs like 20k this one zero percent funded by youtube
because they were like we don't really want to blow up a car that's supposed to symbolize twitch
and i was like bet there were some interesting parts to it where it was like dan was like okay
what kind of explosion do you want?
And he sent Ludwig like some stuff.
And he's like, we can make it like smoke.
We can make it like be on fire.
And there was like a conscious decision to be like,
well, I don't want to be like Twitch is like going up in flames.
Yeah, I didn't want it like burning and like.
It's like, okay, so no flames after, but a big plume.
And it's like demo guy's like, yeah, we can do that.
This was a huge learning experience for me
because I've never done anything like,
well, I've never used a process truck the way that we faked driving around yeah we weren't and then i've never blown up
anything to film and uh when you work with like an actual pyro team they literally show you photos
like what do you want this to look like and you're like well i want that but i also want that and
they're like okay yeah these are the two chemicals we're gonna use picking out a wedding cake for
like that's yeah and then and they're like okay so how far away you want the doors to fly
do you want them to fly off at all and then they attach wires
to all the doors
so that they go a specific distance
it's like mixing items
in Final Fantasy
yeah
and like leading up
to the explosion
you know exactly
what it's gonna do
because they showed you a photo
this is exactly
what it's gonna look like
it's crazy
that's actually so cool
and that's the difference
between like doing it
with like a real team
and like going to Vegas
in like a desert
like a guy who has dynamite
yeah
that's just like which is what we thought so again or like something that we all
learned immediately was you don't blow up the car you actually have to gut it yeah you take the
engine out because it creates shrapnel yeah you take out everything inside of it you take out the
engine and then it's like rigged to blow it's a hot car hot car my guess was like uh you know
like blow up the car it's gonna be a little expensive it'll probably be like 10 20 tops 30k
and
like I kept talking to Dan he was like
okay we gotta do this and like this will add a couple k
and I was like yeah it's fine it's fine and I didn't realize at the
end of the itinerary play at home
how much do you think it cost drum roll
dee dee dee dee dee
it was 130k
which I'll say way
less than we thought it was going to be.
Not you, but we on our end.
You were like 10K, and we're like, you're an idiot.
This is going to be like 250, 300K.
So it was way less than we thought.
Yeah.
Also, when you blow up a car, the thing that happened with Alec Baldwin, actually, it put a lot of strain.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone was kind of freaked out to do stuff like this at the time.
They still are because of that. So it like
jacked up the price a bit. They had a moment of
silence. We had a moment of silence on set for the DP.
Yeah. Like yeah.
For the guy that
was shot on the Alec Baldwin set?
No it was a woman and
she died. Yeah.
No I know about that story but you had a
moment of silence for that person.
And also just getting anyone to do any type of weapon-related, explosive-related stunt right now.
Yeah.
And getting a location to approve, getting the permits.
All of that is just way harder now.
Like the ports.
Oh, crazy.
Because no one wants to be the same story.
The next news story?
Yeah.
So, yeah, it was pretty nuts.
I was going to say something about it that was goofy
and crazy and sexy i i had a question for you guys that's that's what i was gonna ask about
because i was so surprised you guys did it in one take and i understand i understand i have some
background for this you guys like have to rip it in one take once the explosion happens right
but how do they know to detonate on that take?
Like, how is it good to go?
So basically, Dan, our director,
the decision that he made was that
so he is going to be in monitor watching the take,
in ear listening to them talk,
and they're just going to go for it.
And he has the assistant director
with his hand up right next to him.
And if Dan taps the assistant director,
the assistant director's hand
will go down and the pyro team knows explode now so they didn't know when it was going to happen
the idea was that it would happen randomly during our our our bit right and we rehearsed the bit a
lot the walk up the blocking the what we were going to say all that shit and then it finally
came time to like okay we have a hot car and we like, so it's either going to be this take or it's going to, he's going to say, you know, cut, let's try again.
But we didn't know when during the take or which take.
Because you want to list like a real reaction out of them.
Like you want them to actually be afraid that an explosion.
And not like prepare a flash.
Yeah.
If you're prepared, then you're going to like, the reaction won't be as natural as it actually happened.
No, I understand.
And Dan, to me, like right before the first take he goes i'm not doing
on the first one and i was like why and he's like it just like feels weird to do on the first one
i'm like but what if they nail it and then he like didn't respond to me and then you guys went and
then the first one went off so i was scared because like i didn't even like i thought he
wasn't going to do it yeah even though i'm back there yeah and uh it scared the if you look at
like all the cell phone footage that I took and stuff,
like I like fucking
invisibly shake.
But I also didn't know
how big it was going to be.
It was pretty big.
I was super impressed
once I found out
that that was the first take.
Wait, not just one take
and the first take
because it's easy.
Doing what we do is easy.
It is.
You did flinch a little more.
So the, okay.
I would like to address.
You did the MJ, dude.
I was fucked up you hit the
heehee on us the only thing i was like i was ready to kill myself about was when i go for the
put that in the spreadsheet when i go up for the the whatever sign language that we were looking up
right beforehand also we i found out that this is fuck you during when we were looking up to it and
i was like and so i go up and i hit the the brim of my hat and I hadn't done that on earlier takes.
You can see this right here.
Zippers pulling it up.
So here's cat,
right?
And then here we go.
We're going up to father and I hit my hat and then the shit blows.
And I actually back out of the frame here.
And this was bad because it's like,
you have to adjust the camera.
You didn't really plan for it.
But I step back in
because I'm a fucking performer
stepping back into frame single
handedly saved the whole shoot
because if you would have stayed out of frame it would have fucked up
the whole section to be clear you saved what you would have ruined
that's right yes
you are the joker you just brought us back to zero
you didn't bring us above I saved the day
you put the kids in danger and then said I saved the kids
that's right they would have't bring us above. I saved the day. You put the kids in danger and then said, I saved the kids. That's right. They would have died.
So many kids would have died in that explosion.
I saved them.
Step back in frame.
I saved them.
I love the video.
I think it looks great.
Yeah, it looks great.
And I was really surprised that you didn't jump, and I thought that was cool.
I had to fake flinch.
I was like, ugh.
Yeah, you were like kind of bored.
Oh my god, the explosion.
You thought the explosion was like boring and gay or something, and I was like, oh,
okay.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Which is crazy of you to say.
Why would you say that? I've been watching a lot of Equals 3. On of on set in the take i've been watching so much equals three yeah looking for some old time inspiration this is fake and gay yeah and uh yeah so it was pretty
cool man we got to blow it up all right i had something so funny to say we gotta say real quick about christian bishop all right amen pull out your
phone while you do it bring up the the esports summit thing because we wanted to talk about this
a couple weeks ago oh like the the website yeah i remember it was so whack but like christian bishop
got hired at twitch and it's funny because we we know of that guy through a couple different ways
one is that he worked at Thunder Gaming,
which was like this colossal meme failure of an endeavor to appeal to smashers.
And also just meeting him a couple times.
And it's funny.
We were talking to H-Rock about it, and H-Rock's like,
yeah, that's how these companies work, dude.
They just hire somebody that's not good,
but they have some sort of weird value and they
just get put in like a rewarding position and we all saw that we just everyone in smash rolled their
eyes they're like oh it's just weird it's just weird because i saw it's like isn't this guy like
associated with a bunch of controversy and he just got hired but he was on the bachelor position he
was on the bachelor he was that's where. He was on The Bachelor.
Radsad was like,
hey, you're taking content and you're just putting your logo on your watermark and putting
it on TikTok. What are you doing? And then he was like,
yeah, we'll definitely make sure to properly
credit. And Radsad was like, no,
just don't do that.
It's not really about credit.
It's not transformative. You're not reacting.
You moron.
And then I went and checked out. I didn't realize this because I always knew he was like the guy that worked or like managed
Thunder Gaming.
And then I found out that I'd seen this like a long time ago, which is like the at esports
on Twitter.
It was supposed to be like some sort of like site or like news conglomerate or something
that got announced like quite a while ago.
And then I started reading through this the about page
the the website is esports.gg but they're like at esports on all social media and it is just like
paragraph after paragraph of just weird jargon about how like esports is growing it's like they
ran it through like a like a like an ai that like was trying to write something and they're like
okay esports and also competition and also like synergy write something. And they're like, okay, esports and also competition
and also synergy.
They go into meetings, they're like,
the numbers are charting and the charting is good.
It's definitely the synergistic management solutions of gaming.
It's that type of shit.
Read me one juicy sentence from the AI that spit this out.
Esports.gg is a destination connecting esports fans
to their passions. We create
news and analysis for all
gamers, esports fans, and
streaming enthusiasts into expert
led content featuring some of the best
analysts, players, thinkers, and
writers in the history of esports.
That is, that's
just my computer. But then I solved it. I figured
it out. I solved the
I pieced it all together
because I started going through this guy's Twitter,
which also doesn't make any sense.
This is Christian's Twitter?
He has like 50,000 followers,
but he gets like fucking 20 interactions per tweet.
So it's like,
well, you're already off to a bad start
because you've clearly bought-
Because he stopped tweeting about The Bachelor.
Could be that.
Could be that.
Maybe he scored a bunch of Bachelor followers
and that's what it is. Yeah, he did get followers and dropped off. My bad. Maybe he scored a bunch of Bachelor followers, and that's what it is.
Yeah, he did get followers in Yop-Off.
My bad.
Maybe he didn't buy them.
No, I wouldn't assume he bought them.
I would assume they're just dead followers and don't care about it now.
Okay.
I'm going through this later.
Because The Bachelor audience is probably not super engaged with e-score.
It's like when Zedd tweets about how he got a Valorant 5K, and everyone's like, make him
a song.
I don't care.
Yeah.
Or Asa Butterfield.
Just play Clarity again.
Just play it.
Asa Butterfield will talk about something gaming like and someone will be like i love you
asa's like man the inkling matchup was really difficult but i'm working on it and some girl
is just like come to brazil or i will fucking kill myself some people will literally say
some people will literally say i don't know what this means but i love you yeah and and
it's like and he's just going to be like,
yeah, gang shit.
I'm going to keep grinding this matchup.
Whatever, man.
One time he quote retweeted me
about UK smash crowds,
and I just scrolled through the replies,
and everybody is like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
It's very funny.
But yeah,
he clearly just,
he's one of those people
who just has a lot of like,
he must be a social savant. people who just has a lot of like he he must be a social
savant like just has a bunch of connections with people who have money in esports and you know
probably good at networking and all that shit and now he works at twitch which admittedly after
after some information i was given earlier today like some the the old head of marketing at twitch
had worked there for four
years and didn't know what league of legends was yeah this comes from an unnamed source
playing age of empires right now downstairs yeah whoever they may be well found out that piece of
information and i was like yeah okay that this all checks out yeah it's really weird uh and i
and this is it's
funny kind of in funny contrast to like not just like Christian but like Ludwig you know signing
with YouTube and like this big idea of corporate understanding of space and it's like man you just
hope that the right person is in the right spot I think this this sort of lines up with other
things I've heard like a friend at Riot was telling me about how like over the years they've really like strayed away from hiring uh people from like
the gaming industry in general and they'll hire a lot of people from like traditional marketing
backgrounds or from traditional sports and they've gone from a company that used to require their
employees to like play league and shit which admittedly whole host of
problems that's a bad idea whole whole bunch of issues as we all know that have been like announced
about riot over the years but they've kind of come the other way where like they'll hire somebody to
like run league of legends esports for this region but then they go to an orientation where they like
also learn about league of legends on their first day they're like we want you to be sexist but not like in a gamer way yeah i was like be in like the in like the
classical like nfl if you thought treating women in the workplace poorly was bad wait till you hear
about making people cue league of legends yeah when i got a job at the vape company i don't know
i'd have never vaped before i think it's different yeah it's because i don't think maybe it's not
maybe that's maybe we're not different it makes's because... I don't think... Maybe it's not. Maybe we're stupid.
Even if it's not different, it makes sense because you are a social savant.
You and Christian are the same.
We are.
We're the same.
I did swerve my way through that interview.
I made up a number, and I got paid it, and I don't think I deserve the spot.
Well, you did come out with the great campaign of JFK hitting a vape.
And both of you are kind of merchants of death.
I wanted to talk about it with the,
the,
the shoot was that Nick and I are engaged in this weird invisible war,
which isn't fought by us,
but it's fought by people who believe that we're involved in things that we
aren't.
So there's this thing that'll happen where it's like,
for like when I worked at BTS or like even when I didn't work there and a
content piece would come out.
Someone would be like, damn slime definitely behind this one bro and it's like
no and i have like the google doc open on my computer i just having clicked period at the end
and someone's just like damn this is a slime original definitely for sure dude wait what was
that you he did a tweet once where nick just tweeted something like his own and then someone
was like damn slime definitely behind this tweet.
And I was like, are you fucking kidding?
On his personal account.
On my account.
This happens with the Yard Twitter a lot.
It happens with the Yard Twitter where like you were doing most of the tweeting at the beginning.
And people were just like, oh, Slyme's putting out bait.
Dude, it was so funny.
Or this will happen.
This happened today with the Mogul moves.
The Mogul merch like Twitter where we, Bont is like letting shit rip.
Yeah, Mike said that H-Rock was going to eat a scorpion.
That's funny.
And then somebody just, like, people will reply like, thank you, Eamon.
I'm like, I'm not doing shit.
Yeah, it finally started happening in the opposite direction.
I think that, like, there's people who know about the slime false credit thing.
And so they're trying to give credit where it's due. But they're still wrong because they still don't know who did it what was
the one it was like it was fucking oh you oh when i was at a direct fucking dads like you can
literally hear nick in the background saying no that's not it when he says the line wrong and it's
like nope i'm not in arizona i'm not with him with me nick's doing such a good job
directing yeah and i was like that's atriox family i think they actually did say directing
i think that was one of the really like it's like oh man it's so funny and again i love reiterating
this all the time it is not always one person it never is and so just don't be weird you don't
need to credit people my my favorites might be the few... This doesn't come up super often,
but it'll come up with the Ludwig shoot,
like the announcement you guys just did,
or a piece of content you'll put together.
And somebody will thank me
and be like, you and the boys did a great job.
Oh, the team?
Like with Fendi and the subathon?
And I'm like, I didn't do...
I had nothing to do with this project.
Well, as we learn from Mizkif,
if they say that to you, you'll see it,
and there's a chance you'll reply to it.
If they say it to me, it will be lost in the wind.
That's true.
Oh, that's right.
I guess it's like a risk-reward thing.
That's like a part, like, you can say it to Aemon and tag me in it, too,
and it's like, it doesn't hurt.
You wield accessibility like a weapon.
You do.
No, you do.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, that does happen.
Bunth ghost wrote one of my tweets recently.
Really?
It was all the Minecrafters.
Pull the pic real quick, Zipper.
It's a recent tweet.
It was all the Minecrafters doing a group pic in LA
because some are here from England.
England.
England.
They're from London.
Brexit.
Four names to me, isn't it?
What do you like?
Four names to me, isn't it? This is horrifying. Four names to me, isn't it? What do you like to be? Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, Four names to me, isn't it?
This is horrifying.
Four names to me, isn't it?
This is the most violent take on the British accent.
Oy, would you like some bangers in my s***?
It's like Australian.
Yeah, that's not a real guy.
That guy does not exist.
That's just Maximova.
All right, pull up the tweet.
I love Guy Ritchie.
It's this picture, and then Bun's caption was middle school DC trip. Oh,, Paul. I love Guy Ritchie. It's this picture and then Bun's caption
was middle school
DC trip.
Oh,
that pop.
That's fire.
But yeah,
Mike is a ghost writer
of many,
many classic
true certified hood
classics.
He's a funny man.
Why are they all so tiny?
Because they're like
12 years old.
some of them are.
No,
they're not.
He's like 21.
They're just small humans.
They just didn't.
That's what Minecraft does.
Yeah,
it stunts your growth it stunts your growth
it's like smoking cigarettes
it is the same
it does the same thing
to your body
they're the real
how do you think
you make redstone bro
you fucking grind
their kneecaps down
it's how it works
but yeah
bunth
bunth godlike twitter
that's hype
so how do you feel
you feel good
you feel alright
real quick sorry
Tommy in it
we were talking
uh oh what happened Austin Austin show oh yeah answer it So how do you feel? You feel good? You feel all right? Real quick, sorry. Tommy, we were talking. Uh-oh.
What happened?
Austin, Austin show.
Oh, yeah, answer it.
Hey.
Hey, my friend.
How are you?
Doing well, how are you?
Congratulations.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that.
What do you want, shill?
Congratulations.
What do you want, shill?
That's slime.
What do you need?
We're recording the podcast.
Wait, are you fucking, are you recording the podcast?
Yeah.
That is what he said, yeah.
That is what he said that.
What makes you think that?
Oh my God, you stopped it to pick up my phone call?
Of course, yeah, of course.
I was literally just going to congratulate you.
And I, you know, I heard whispers.
Nobody told me.
I just felt it in the air.
In his loins?
Could be a thing.
In your balls?
But, yeah, no, congratulations.
Thank you so much, man.
Finish filming your podcast.
I may have, now that you're over on YouTube,
I was also going to call and say there may be some, you know,
more money opportunity that I may be able to throw your direction.
So I was calling you about that.
But we can talk about that later.
Oh, fuck.
That sounds so good, man.
That sounds so good.
Love you.
Fuck, am I going to come now?
I'm going to come from that.
You're so good at planes.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, I'm on a plane.
Give me a deal on a plane.
Fuck.
I don't exist Austin I have a question for you real quick do you know who Wendover Productions is what when these nuts are Oh, no! Oh, oh, oh! It wasn't a D-Sus joke! It was a genuine question!
Aiden, Aiden, right here, bro.
That was sick.
Give it to him, bro.
Huge setup, huge layup, bro.
Yo, that was tight.
You are cool now.
I'm so sad.
Aiden's never getting fucked now.
I'm so sad.
I sent him a call up saying,
it's a great channel you should watch.
The amount of people who knew,
I was stressed out for the past four days that this was gonna leak yeah so many people knew yeah
so many people you know who was the closest i'm with cutie no i'm with cutie i'm with cutie with
her family for thanksgiving we're watching a high school basketball game fucking dad
enthralling by the way high school basketball high school basketball. It was literally the greatest game I've ever seen in my life.
It was a buzzer beater.
Yeah.
Fuck the Hawks.
Dude, I hate them.
Dog.
They get it in the last second.
Shouldn't have been counted.
Whatever.
I'll move on.
And I get a message from Slasher.
Oh, dude.
Wait, real quick.
You tell him.
Bro.
You tell him real quick.
I got a bone with Slasher. Actually, I should check. Okay, go ahead, Ludwig, while, wait. Real quick. You tell him. Bro. You tell him real quick. I got a bone with Slasher.
Actually, I should check.
Okay, go ahead, Ludwig, while he checks.
So he sends me a DM, and he's like,
heard you're going to YouTube.
And I replied like, you're a lot of shit these days.
Yeah, you'd be like, what?
I put zero confirmation in.
What's that?
And he's been on a hiatus.
Yeah, where's he been i haven't seen
him i don't know he's been fighting the invisible war yeah right something like that i guess just
playing a lot of quick and then today he dms me after it's leaked and he's like oh yeah he's like
you're lucky i'm out i would have leaked it i'm like you piece of shit that's so interesting yeah
i get i think like like if jake sucky lucky on, you're fucked. Oh, dude.
Curtains.
That would suck.
Throw that 130K out the window.
That was the only time is when I made fun of that guy on Twitter is when somebody made
fun of me for having a dead mom.
Literally the only time that's ever happened.
He did that?
No, one of his fans did.
Oh.
And I was like, this is crazy.
That's so funny.
Yeah.
Never would have expected it.
What, buds?
You keep it chill.
They're pretty chill. You keep it chill. They're pretty chill.
You keep it chill.
They know about dead parent gang.
Anyway, I'm glad it didn't leak out.
I was saying about Tommy in it.
Because I don't have one of those that were laughing at me.
That guy's a loser.
Yeah, you're a loser with your alive parents.
You're a loser.
I can go handle that.
Which one do you take out?
Yeah, which one do you take out?
Which one listens?
That's the question.
Which one are you going to drink 30 Cokes?
Mom listens.
Mom does listen, so Dad's gone.
But Dad also listens.
Ooh.
But Dad, I got to do what I got to do.
Hey.
I think he'd understand.
So Tommy in it.
Yeah.
Hit me up in the DMs.
He said, you've been playing ARMS?
And that was the whole message.
And you're like, yeah.
Let me put down my giant lollipop.
Did he capitalize it all?
Like in the actual game title?
Oh, that's a great question.
I want to know.
Because the message, if he doesn't capitalize it,
it's so much funnier.
Because then it's very ambiguous.
Hold on, bro.
I'm playing hopscotch.
I'll reply soon.
He said, do you know the Nintendo game ARMS? Not capitalized.
And I said, yeah. Isn't it a terrible
game? And he said, I'm into it.
It's great.
That is hilarious to just not even check
if he's into it. Just say like, oh, that dog shit
piece of fucking trash.
We're a couple
moments away from him picking up Melee.
But here's the thing.
I've been looking at the trends.
Super Auto Pets
average player base
has doubled
since I started streaming it.
In part like the tournament
Sykuna also played it.
It's like blown up
and you can see the lines
like the viewers on Twitch
and the players.
Tommy and I could blow up arms.
I don't think so.
No, he could.
100%.
Tommy's big enough
he could blow up arms.
Yeah, but I think
I don't think he could blow up arms for as long as you've blown up SAP.
Am I crazy?
Am I smoking weed?
No, he would blow up more.
I think he'd blow up more.
No, I'm talking about longevity.
Sure, but if it spikes up, that's all you need.
Is that what we need to do?
We host a coached Melee tournament.
Every influencer gets a coach, and we just get all the Minecraft streamers.
You're talking about PogChamp for Melee.
PogChamp for Melee with Minecraft streamers only.
Yeah, I've had this idea.
It's a good idea.
And he says he had this idea,
but I actually gave him that idea
and I'm reiterating it right now.
What if we did Squid Game?
But this time it's like Mario.
Did you guys see that one tweet about Squid Game today?
Oh, yeah. That is so funny. Real quick, did you guys see that one tweet about Squid Game today? Oh, yeah.
That is so funny.
Real quick, did you hear about that Coinbase $10 in free Bitcoin?
Woo!
Guys, check out Coinbase using Coinbase.com forward slash the yard as your landing page
so you can get $10 in Bitcoin when you sign up.
And I said it correctly.
It is $10 in Bitcoin.
And this is one of the best ways. in Bitcoin when you sign up. I said it correctly. It is $10 in Bitcoin.
Oh, the grill.
One of the best ways to get cryptocurrency
on your phone. It's super
easy to use and you can even do
some surveys that teach you things
and earn crypto from it.
Anyway, guys, I like
them because they're more secure.
I think they're not that shady. I think they're cool people
Yeah, so do you guys have an order like pretty long oh, yeah
We're gonna close in like five minutes. Can I get the Candace?
Imagine you did that to a Starbucks person. It's like that obvious.
Could I get the Candice with milk?
Did you fire in the hole?
You fired the hole after?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
That's the greatest.
You should literally go to like ADX Florence Supermax for that.
Can I get extra fire in that drink?
Fire?
In the hole?
Boom.
That would be fire.
Yeah, I did see the tweet.
Mr. Beast. That would be fire Yeah I did see the tweet MrBeast
It was basically like
MrBeast in four days got
106 million views
This is it
And in a month Squid Game got 111 million views
More views less time
Fewer gatekeepers
That's the promise of the creator economy
I'm here to tell you John Volleyball
I can't read the last name
You are so fucking stupid
this is the dumbest shit i've ever seen in my entire life created an absolute hate trend on
mr beast today that's that's unfortunate because it's not mr beast's fault yeah why is it a hate
it seems like an incredibly dumb tweet because everyone was like you are ignoring the fact that
mr beast just stole the work of the man who took 10 years to develop this show and actually get it
published and then everyone was like yeah and mr beast missed the whole point of the show it's all about like a
critique on capitalism and he's just doing it for profit and he had like a mobile game ad like you
know valid critiques but it basically just started the snowball so how many views would his video get
if it was just on netflix the the mr beast video uh i think less less i'm talking it's a terrible
comparison no yeah i don't think it is just so weird that that person tweeted that
and thought, like, this makes sense.
It's kind of like when Squid Game came out
before MrBeastDwinDame was, like...
Someone was like,
oh, Squid Game took X amount of time,
you know, 10 years.
Same, like, comparison how much money it made,
but you could also just invest in, like,
100 Bitcoin, and it's the same.
Like, media is like a time sink. I saw that tweet that tweet and i was like these people have fucking brain rot it's
crazy yeah like you gotta understand that value has like a thing that results in the end i think
most people just decide that they want to say something before they have an opinion or have
thought about what happened and they start typing while when they made that decision and they're halfway through what they typed and then they decide what their
point is but the problem is that they're rich and some people will be like you're so right because
you're rich king and that's the bad part and that's where ludwig is but he has my you're so
right and you employ me thanks guys we love you this is great you know who else you employ often
what you know who else you employ now who that? You know who else you employ now? Who?
That's right.
Otto.
The blood ritual has been complete.
That was the comments.
It was like Ludwig successfully poached everybody.
Now we can go back.
We can go back to the conversation where Ludwig talked to LD and was like, I don't think Nick's going to come.
And Nick was like, I'm not leaving.
And now here we are.
Oh, yeah. It was after the summit. That happened? He, like, touched don't think Nick's going to come. And Nick was like, I'm not leaving. And now here we are. Oh, yeah.
It was after the summit.
That happened?
He, like, touched Nick on the shoulder.
He's like, you're taking this guy?
I was like, pfft.
Wouldn't dream of it.
He doesn't want to leave. You owe soft lips over there?
With all that ass?
Not going to happen.
Too much shrunk.
Need somebody with a flat ass.
You're a poacher.
You're just a poacher.
Well, look, you know.
You poached me like an egg.
We still work with Beyond the Summit. I feel like a lot of people are like, you poached them. And, like, you're just a poacher uh well look you know poached me like an egg we still work with
beyond the summit i feel like a lot of people are like you post them and like you're yeah a lot of
people are like saying things like damn he's trying to fucking take them down no yeah no it's
yeah some comments i'm not trying to do that down bad as if the company is like on its last leg the
company's doing fucking great i'm still like gonna co-stream smash summit with them like i'm still gonna have that partnership i'm still going to co-stream Smash Summit with them.
I'm still going to have that partnership.
I'm still going to do mogul money through them.
I have a couple other game shows,
stuff I can't announce yet.
Not even game shows.
Part of the big move to YouTube and part of the big opportunities granted to Ludwin
is doing way cool shit.
That's not just being a streamer for the
rest of his life and I think that's good you're diversifying like who you are so like if you
didn't stream for like a year you'd still be like doing cool stuff making money making mogul's moon
and that's that's the idea and BTS is a part of that because like they produce things right we
don't have that capability we work together so it So it's pretty cool. But yeah, Dan's a little hurt.
I was so annoyed because right when I told everyone publicly that I was leaving,
I got so many people like,
LMAO, remember when you said that you would never LMAO?
And I was like, all right, well, first of all,
I said that before the Yard was successful.
And also, more importantly, before anyone knew publicly about your YouTube deal.
And those were two enormous factors in my ability to say yes to that question at this point.
And I was like, Arthur fisting.
I was like, no.
Because like no one, no one knows that.
Like, do you see the clip?
Just block him.
Did you see the clip, idiot?
Did you see the clip where you said that you would do it?
Eat your own words, soft lip.
Hey, soft lips, you lied.
You know, the best part about you working with me
What is that is that now we can go rock climbing? That's huge. Yeah, we also record the yard not at night
Oh, I'm so looking forward to that. Yeah, this is two major keys major double major Keeler
Yeah recording the pod fucking but you know what will never change
Okay, yep
Dude okay yep dude bravo why I'm spending the next five minutes over there bravo even
and while he spends that time over there speaking of smash let's talk about oh the biggest smash
tournament ever that was sneak announced today let's do it what are you come on you got it you smell are you hey i when the camera is on that's right i'm a consummate we are actors you're a one take jake
i thought oh i am and so so please enlighten them so what's gonna happen guys is that ludwig
is gonna make a big tournament yeah you're a one take i'll tell you that two take tony in the
building so i i sneak announced that i want to
run the biggest tournament ever in 2022 which is basically just saying aiden yeah dude what do you
want me to do dude what do you want me to do oh your job tournament my job yeah to run the merch it's still bad his audio
audio listener is
he
Nick
Nick got up
after Anthony farted
and went to the other side
of the room
and then just tried to
walk back
after like 15 seconds
and like hit a fog
he walked into like
a physical
wall of
oh dude it's...
It smells like your farts, Jay.
Dude, this is so bad.
Dude, you've derailed all this.
This is...
It just smells kind of like an old attic.
Like an old wet attic.
Like when you fish out your Halloween toys
or Halloween decorations or Christmas decorations.
Yeah, it's a bit moldy.
That's what it smells like.
It took so much time to drift over here, too.
It was slow.
It's heavy.
Yeah.
It took a while.
It was kind of like elephant toothpaste.
It's a slow chemical reaction.
This is the biggest joy he gets, is this.
He's never happier than this moment.
My biggest joy was announcing the Switch in the adoration from people in the successful video,
and his was farting into a mic.
It's the hardest I've laughed in so long right now.
Oh, man.
Hey, shout-outs to the yard, huh?
All right.
To Ludwig.
Now you're just, like, doing toasts.
Fucking hell.
To the Knights now?
That was a miserable time. I'm glad I'm back and it's gone. Hey, welcome back to the yard, everybody That was a miserable time.
I'm glad I'm back and it's gone.
Hey, welcome back to the yard, everybody.
Oh, man.
That was transformative.
Ludwig wants to host a convention
with a large tournament.
I want to host the biggest Smash tournament of all time.
And I don't ever want to do like TanaCon.
You know that, right?
TanaCon?
Did you hear about that?
Yeah, Tanaonagoo.
Tanamonagoo.
That's the one. Made a convention.
This is like a YouTuber.
She's like a very successful YouTuber. Has like, I don't know, 5 million
subscribers. She got married to Jake Paul.
She got, I think, married to Jake Paul.
No, that was iDubbbz that said the N word.
In that order? Next to her.
She said it before him. She was next to someone who said the N word.
What did he do? Throw his voice?
Like Jeff Dunham?
Well, what he did is he literally showed up, ran next to her in a photo op.
She didn't recognize him.
And then he said, say.
And then he said the N-word.
And then she like froze.
And then it was just shell shot.
Oh my God.
Yeah, because she said it first.
Did she?
Albeit like four or five years ago.
Look, I don't know this anymore.
Right before she married Jay Paul.
Aiden just defending him. No, to be at like four or five years ago. Look, I don't know this anymore. Right before she married Jay Paul. I'm just defending him.
No, to be clear.
It's just a word.
Nobody should be saying the N-word.
Nobody should be saying the N-word.
That is not what I'm saying.
We're taking the power back.
You're absolving her of having said it.
That's all I'm saying.
I didn't know she said it.
Yeah, that was the whole thing.
That makes more sense.
That's why all that happened.
That makes more sense.
Yeah, okay.
So this person who said the N-word threw a party.
Anyway, I don't know what you know what i don't know what this is literally explaining my mom the youtube deal yeah i don't know are they subscribed what happens that's how the
so she threw something called tana con it's like infamous for being an absolute shit show waste of
money insane lines incredibly hot it was like
somewhere in la nothing to do just like a giant scam yeah and uh and i also think the vanity of
throwing a convention calling it like budwig con yeah is like we're not gonna do insane wasn't the
idea but it was like despite vidcon right that was the idea is vidcon was happening simultaneously
it was something really yeah i can wait. We're talking about this.
Like it happened this week,
but VidCon was happening simultaneously.
And then she was like,
I'm going to do my own cause something happened between them.
I don't remember.
It was so long ago.
It was like the Tumblr ball pit meetup.
You guys know that one?
No.
Get it in the comments.
I don't comment.
If you got that one,
our 40 year old viewer base,
it's like,
I remember that.
I love that.
Different website.
And so I, but I do want to do a, like,
because I think, like,
influencer-based tournaments are just more successful.
They do better with sponsors.
They do better with viewership.
They do better all around.
You're right.
And so, like, this is the best way to describe it is like a LUDCon,
but also the biggest smash tournament ever
is the main goal of it.
When you say big, by
what metric are you trying to achieve?
Most entrance ever for both games,
and also largest prize pool ever for both games.
I actually think this is so easy to do.
His approach to this, the strat,
I think we'll get it. I think regular
Smash tournaments are trying to capitalize
on getting the most amount of Smashers to come.
I think Ludwig is capitalizing on
the most amount of his viewers. My. I think Ludwig is capitalizing on the most amount of his viewers.
My five-head idea was make it fun for anyone,
even if you don't really like Smash that much,
and then make the entry to the tournaments very small, like a buck.
With what Genesis can do,
but they can't get people to give a shit, right?
Yeah.
They can't convince people that it's going to be fun,
even though they probably would have fun if they went.
There's an interesting problem, too. It's like okay the barrier of entry uh like financially is like
okay i'm selling tickets for like a ten dollars or something and it's like yeah but then you get
the evo japan situation where like thousands of people register i mean that was because it was
literally it was literally free and i wonder if like ten dollars versus zero dollars is that much
i think having to put in credit card information is the game changer that's a layer of friction yeah because moist critical
ran a few tournaments really early on for ultimate and they had insane dropouts because it's like it
was free if you sign up for free people will sign up because they have to put a penny in
all the sudden you'll have like 30 the amount of people that online critical tournament is
technically the largest fGC or smash
bracket ever.
I think.
Oh really.
Yeah.
But before they played it
out.
Yeah.
I mean but that it
the amount of people
that showed up was
DQs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then like what
giant waves of pools
were just DQed.
Yeah.
I'm glad we can talk
about LUD CON now
because you've been
talking about it for so
long.
We have a different
name by the way.
I'm calling it that. I don't want to spoil the name either i'm excited about the name i'm actually so
excited name we have to try we need to we need to get more locked i think to announce things like
name date things like that but the goal is 2022 and if at any moment in the next like few months
you're like what what is going on with that just ask aiden that's right aiden will be on top of it
waking up at noon figuring it out aiden will be on top of it waking up at noon
figuring it out aiden's gonna roll out of bed around 4 p.m check the sun's up this is a bad
bit if the sun is up he's gonna go back to bed aiden when i announced this this made it real
and now it has to happen no not the event we've been working on the event for the record i i've
already i have started on this this is a real project. You, the bit of you guys adding hours to when I wake up every day.
When did you wake up?
Today?
Friday.
Friday?
Last Friday?
This Friday.
It just happened.
Can't even remember.
Don't wait a day.
10.30?
10.30.
PM?
Yeah.
Getting worse.
Look, I will say, I was up in the office last night, and we talked, and I was like, I have a 9 AM, or he's like, I have tumbled. I was up in the office last night and we talked and I was like,
I have a 9am or he's like,
I have an eight 30.
I get up for my 9am or Aiden's nowhere to be seen.
Rolls down at like nine 40.
Not true.
You roll at nine 30 rolled down at nine 20 roll at nine 20.
And I thought I didn't say anything.
I thought it was like,
bitch misses eight 30.
Did you miss your eight 30? No, I didn't have any 30 thought it was like bitch miss is 8.30 did you miss your 8.30 no I didn't have
an 8.30 it was just waking up at 8.30
oh but you didn't actually
wake up at 8.30 because you could just hit snooze
snoozy man
snoozy man
why am I on trial
right now hey because that's our thing
that's our thing is doing that
to you you're the guy what the fuck
gaslit fat little goblin
That I know you are
Stop calling me
Fat little goblin
You call him
A fat little goblin
Yeah
That's what I said
That's a fat little goblin
That's right
That's right
I've been looking
For those words
I kinda like it
You like fat little goblin
I like it
Can I talk to HR
About this
When I did it
Yeah wait
Can
Yeah please
So he's been calling
He's my superior
Fat little goblin talk
Who's my fat little goblin
Who's my fat little goblin
Can I go Who are you talking to Thislin? Who's my fat little goblin?
Can I go?
Who are you talking to? This is boring.
Who are you talking to?
I don't want to be in this HR meeting.
HR is cool now.
We're making it cool.
Yeah, it's all right, man.
It's all right, man.
Okay.
On the subject of you farting and your general hijinks, I would say you escalated it.
My jungle hijinks.
This week.
Your slime jinx.
So we, you know, as our patrons might know,
we have a little bit of a side,
a couple side shows we do every week.
We do an advice show.
Me and Nick do an advice show.
We got a main bitch and a mistress on the page.
Oh, the movies have been hot lately
with the Disney Channel original movies.
H-Rock watched it with you last time, right?
Yeah, he was in the room.
Was he mic'd up?
You couldn't really hear him.
No, he wasn't mic'd up because he just hung out.
He showed up so late
that we weren't prepared.
But we were recording
the advice show
before you guys watched the movie.
And towards the end
of the advice show,
Anthony walks downstairs
in front of us
and we kind of notice it
out of the corner of our eyes.
And I look over.
Anthony is standing
on the stairs,
pantsless,
Christmas wreath
around his,
around his waist area,
Dick and ball fully out in the middle of the wreath.
And he's just like,
he's like looking at us like,
like,
like proud.
It looked like a Christmas episode of SpongeBob.
And I was looking at Squidward and,
and I made eye contact and I looked at him first.
Like I didn't look down.
I was like,
what?
And then I looked down.
I'm like, Oh, that's then instead of like instead of like ending or like concluding
the bit looking at it he was like he stood there and just for like 30 seconds straight and he just
kept giggling to himself yeah i've learned he's kind of like a child when they draw something
and you just got to like put it on the fridge so it goes away you have to be like oh yeah i mean i you know i'm a content creator now dude you've been saying that
yeah what's up with this content he's been making youtube videos he's been on his shit about how
he's like fulfilled because of this youtube spree yeah i made that video jac was telling me that you
sat him down and made you him watch your 12-minute video i did not do that i literally didn't and he
didn't watch the whole thing i said yeah oh you made a video i'll did not do that. I literally didn't. And he didn't watch the whole thing. I said, yeah, oh, you made a video? I'll check that out.
And then he starts watching it, and then I leave.
And then I'm like, okay, he'll watch it.
I had a slime moment. I forgot about this. What?
Me and you were the same. Yeah, we're the same.
We're the exact same. You want to know what my slime moment was?
Yeah, baby. Alright, me,
Ludwig, and
Atriok, and Stans were all
climbing. Love climbing. We were rock climbing
together. I'm good at climbing now, dude. Atriok loves climbing. He all climbing. Love climbing. We were rock climbing together. Having a great...
I'm good at climbing nowadays.
Atriok loves climbing.
Okay.
He sees the wall, and it's like when the kid just gets to the birthday party, and they
sprint out, and they start immediately kicking a soccer ball or fucking going down the slide.
Yeah.
He's like that.
There's dog in the dog bowl, and he runs over.
And he'll climb something, and then come down, and then normally take a break, and then like,
oh, I'll climb this.
He runs to another wall.
He also doesn't consider like burnout or anything else.
Like he'll just like, instead of climbing something like the way you're kind of supposed
to, he'll just do full muscle, like pull-ups to get there as fast as possible, making him
like unable to do climbs for like the rest of the day.
Yeah.
It'll try him and it'd be like, I don't know.
I'm like tired.
And then he like doesn't change anything.
What the fuck?
Which I, what I do like is when he finishes one, he pops off.
Like he starts like getting really happy. And I'm always like, Hey, I like that do like is when he finishes one, he pops off.
He starts getting really happy.
I'm always like, hey, I like that you're happy about it.
Anyway, we're there, and they decide that they're going to try to get merch photos right here, right now, in a gym full of people.
What, like on their phone?
They're trying to take merch photos on their phone. Basically like a picture of Aatrox merch for Twitter.
Yeah, and so Aatrox is wearing his merch out climbing, and he's like, all right, I want to do a really sick climb and then get a photo of Atriox merch for Twitter. Yeah, and so Atriox is wearing his merch out, like climbing.
And he's like, all right, I want to do like a really sick climb and then get a photo of me at the top of it.
But like, you know, I can't actually do it.
So like Ludwig, uppies, uppies.
That's what I'm saying.
So like Ludwig and Atriox are on the mat and he's trying to like lift him, but it's not fucking working.
And they're like, Nick, come take the picture.
Like you're the photo guy.
Come take the picture.
And I'm holding the phone and I'm like, everyone's like kind of looking at us now. And they're like fucking around. And take the picture. You're the photo guy. Come take the picture. And I'm holding the phone, and I'm like, everyone's kind of looking at us now, and they're fucking around.
And I'm like – You're embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed as all fuck.
Yeah.
And they keep doing it.
So then they go –
Uppies, uppies.
They go to a different part of the gym, and HVAC's like, oh, I'm going to do this one.
He jumps up, and he falls off immediately.
He's like, oh, fuck.
I can't get up this one.
All right.
Is he saying uppies?
I'm saying uppies.
Okay.
That's hilarious.
He's not saying uppies.
It is me. And I'm just holding the phone like, i don't want to be doing this everyone is staring we're taking up climbs that people probably want to be doing by taking a fucking picture and i
was like i want to die and then i handed the phone to stand and said this is your job now and i went
to the other side of the gym and then tried a different climb because i was so embarrassed oh
yeah it was the worst yeah you're also in a're also in a setting that is filled with normal people.
Normals.
Yeah.
That's right.
How did you feel about it?
I thought it was great.
It was a blast.
Well, no.
Did you feel like you were encroaching on people's time and space?
No.
They were going to climbs that, like, they...
All right.
You know when you're at the...
This is actually like this.
You know when you're at the skate park, and there's kids on, like they, you know, all right, you know, when you're at this, this is actually like this, you know, when you're at the skate park and there's kids on like the sick ramp, but they're just like on a scooter kind of going in circles
and you can't use the, the pro area because there's like a kid not using it, but he's
there.
It was like that.
Like they're over at like the V fives and they're like trying to get a picture of H
on it, but they're spending 20 minutes on this.
And I'm like, bro, someone wants to use that.
We're on like a rail and no one around me is grinding.
Okay.
It's what it felt like to me
because because when you're on the mat under a climb you don't want to stand directly under that
because there's people there they might fall on you so it's no there's no way to know that if any
of the people that are in like the little walkway want to do it mr yellow on the left i'm so how
long did this take maybe 15 20 minutes no shot no no shot. I won't let you get away with five minutes.
15, 20.
Bailiff, please arrest somebody.
You're clearly at fault.
I was clearly at fault. Your honor,
but the funniest part is,
he gets the picture, right?
He's showing it to everyone,
and then Nick looks at it,
and he's like,
that's not the same tank top we're selling.
Yeah, he's wearing the one we aren't selling.
And he's like, it's fine.
It's close enough. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, you're a moron, he's wearing the one we aren't selling. And he's like, it's fine. It's like close enough.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm like, you're a moron.
It's not close at all.
It's a dramatically different design.
That's crazy.
News alert.
It's news alert.
I'm Ludwig.
Give us the news.
Susan.
That's a tough last name.
CEO of YouTube.
Yeah.
The YouTube lady?
Tweeted me out.
Quote, retweet, great news.
Welcome at Ludwig.
That's really nice of her to do.
Hey, tweet back right now.
Do you want to come on the yard?
Oh, that'd be so sick.
I would feel uncomfortable doing that.
Why?
I don't want to put someone in that position.
Coming on our show?
That's a position?
Refresh.
Zipper refresh.
Are we doing this live?
That's crazy.
Refresh and scroll down.
Susan Wojak.
Feels good, man.
We just did the same thing.
Want to come on my podcast.
You don't think that's funny?
No.
We arrived at the same conclusion
that was destined to happen.
True.
Her name is tough.
I just can't read it.
It's so...
It's like Polish.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's cool.
And I think it was cool in the gym too.
Can we call her Big Suze?
I think that's obviously not cool.
Big Suze.
Can we call her Crazy Suze?
Suze is in two words that generally are very negative towards women.
Where's the guy?
Big and crazy.
Where's the guy at the zoo?
What's he doing?
The first video. The guy at the zoo? Can we get the first guy at the zoo can we get him on that
would be a cool guy to have on no no i wouldn't because you asked him one thing it wasn't like
to be clear to be clear guys that is no he's founder of youtube yeah yeah this is not like
the guy like he's not like oh yeah i was at the zoo it's like oh he also founded youtube and
created the website so that's the interesting part it's not like we get them on and we go, so were the elephants like actually big?
Well, that would be funny.
It would be hilarious if we spent a whole podcast
just asking about the animals.
What else was at the zoo?
And then he's like, I worked at YouTube too.
I was like, oh, that's cool.
So was it like gorilla?
That's crazy because we just went to that zoo.
Do you like meerkats?
Did you see them?
Yeah.
Do you get ice cream?
I love ice cream.
Dippin' Dots.
How about
Powerful Susan?
Powerful Susan.
That's better.
We're getting better.
I want a cool name.
Powerful.
We're getting
Powerful Susan.
Empowered.
How about just
Suze Magooz?
Girl Boss Susan.
Suze Magooz.
I like that.
Let's just steal
everything from
I Love You Man.
That's our Bible.
Is I love you man?
Stealing from my love you man?
All I do is steal from my love you man and Dane Cook.
Every single day.
Damn.
That should be your Tinder bot.
Oh, I got to tell you guys about my Uber driver.
Oh, I love it.
You wrote this.
Love it.
It goes, hey, you want to hear about this Uber driver I had?
And I said, no, I want to hear about it on the pod.
And he was like, I was bummed because we were there with like zipper to and like atrioc and i couldn't tell them either you couldn't you couldn't farm
little w's so visiting cutie's family for thanksgiving hopping in uber because we flew
there we didn't drive and the uber driver is like this old white man and he's like making more
conversation than i'd like i was literally sitting there thinking to myself,
Aiden would like this, but this is too much for me.
Yep.
And then he says, do you guys like Christmas music?
And I was like, yeah, but it was a bait question.
Yes, sir, blood.
I'd be weird if he said call it blood.
Yeah, I didn't do that.
You didn't call him blood?
No, I mean, I'm with you two, but it doesn't extend that far.
We're pyros now.
Yeah.
Pyros and Crips could all get along pyros pyros the pyros and the mages it's the spyro and the crips cardina and he's flying around so he asked me if i like his music i'm like yeah but it's a
bait and he goes oh okay because i have my like christmas playlist no and i'm like okay no way play it and he goes
some people don't like it and i'm like what what is it christian gray i'm like my needs are
my desires are a little off and he goes let's just say my favorite genre is death metal. I thought what I thought he was going to do.
Never mind.
And I'm like, okay.
And like he's still adding more preamble.
He's like, I play this and my wife was going crazy.
She hated it.
He was being a crazy.
I hate this guy.
And I'm like, whoa, sounds nuts.
And cuties like being cuties.
She's like, like passively saying like the most supportive things.
Like, I mean, that sounds great.
Like that sounds like actually really. He's about to press it he lifts the finger i'm
serious like it's nuts yeah he's like puts waivers in the back you should sign this before you listen
i have two sides nicest uber driver you'll ever meet and twisted fucking he's just this default
supportive uber drivers even when they across the line like they do in italy yeah she is automatically
and so he starts off with jingle bells by corn no way that's tight i like this and while he's
explaining that this is actually called jingle balls and i'm listening to corn do their version
of it i look at his ipad that lights up and it goes, bing, plus 0.86 coin.
Bing, plus 1.5 coin.
And I'm like, what's that?
And he goes, oh, I'm mining crypto while driving.
It's called every time I drive, it mines crypto.
And so I'm listening to a death metal Christmas album
from a man who's farming crypto.
New guy just dropped, actually.
He is the only guy.
Did he call it death metal?
No, he used the correct terms.
New metal?
No, he just, like, he was, I like that.
It's just interesting, because, like,
some people would be like, corn, death metal.
They would get kind of annoyed at that,
which isn't a big deal.
I just think it's kind of funny.
It's like, you want to hear this death metal?
I'm not doing him service,
because I'm not very, like, knowledgeable of the genre, but it's kind of funny. It's like, you want to hear this death metal? And it's like, I'm not doing him service because I'm not very like knowledgeable of the genre,
but it was kind of like
the only death metal
is the anyway bit.
dies in the creation of it.
You have to die.
You have to die for death metal.
Snuff metal.
Yeah,
that's why I said that.
Yeah.
Yeah,
no,
I get it.
We got this together.
Hey,
save it all for the next Mizkif show
where we'll be funny.
Oh,
I'd love to be on their side.
That'd be awesome.
Be a fucking most popular kid in school.
He basically is like
the Who's Line bit
where he did like
the selling of the album.
He would preamble every artist
in like what the song is.
Yeah.
Like the Wayne Brady bit.
He's like,
this is the singer for Metallica
and he's doing a song
called Merry Fucking Christmas.
And then he'd like pause
like waiting for me to reply
and I'd be like,
they don't say fucking
in normal Christmas songs and he'd go, ha like waiting for me to reply. And I'd be like, they don't say fucking in normal Christmas songs.
And he'd go,
ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah.
They don't.
And apparently he toured
with metal bands
back in the day.
And it was the most psychopathic.
He's like,
all right,
they're called Coheed and Cambria.
And the thing is,
the music,
it's all like part of a graphic novel.
And he goes through the whole thing.
It's crazy that Ludwig
is psychoanalyzing this guy
because he doesn't usually do that,
which means that this guy crossed a mental line. He rattled me. Yeah. Ludwig is psychoanalyzing this guy because he doesn't usually do that which means that this guy crossed a mental line
he rattled me
Ludwig
I am Ludwig pilled now
what did you mean when you said that
so Ludwig has
this outlook on life and I get it now
because I'm a content creator
so everything that he does
has to go toward
this gravity ball of I need to make good content and move forward with that.
And I get it.
And it's like anything that kind of gets in the way of that, he just has to put it aside.
And I was thinking like, I understand what he's like now because I make videos.
Shut the fuck up.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen, I'm not saying that I am like this or I do this or I'm going to be-
Are you even monetized?
Make shit like-
I'm monetized, but I put songs in my videos so I can't-
Okay.
You're listening to Rush?
Slime makes one free throw and he's like, I get it now.
I get why they go to the court at 8 a.m.
I'm saying that-
He's like Tai Lopez, bro.
Yo, it's about knowledge, all right?
I made a free throw and i basically was like oh and then
i went through this like fucking slumdog millionaire life where i just see into the
future which doesn't happen in slumdog millionaire and he's like and basically i understood describing
like a millionaire like there's no so raven i could see in the future i got i i understood
everything because i need to like walk in someone's shoes for a second to get the whole deal.
I'll upload a single YouTube video and it turns into Drake in a Sprite commercial.
He starts breaking apart into different pieces.
I don't get the reference, but that sounds right.
Pull up Drake in a Sprite commercial.
You basically figured out what it's like to chew five gum after posting that.
I did.
And so now I get it.
And now I'm so much more understanding of like everything.
You went into the avatar state.
Yeah.
I like astral projected myself and I'm like everything.
I understand it now.
Look,
this is you.
This is you.
All right.
You uploaded the video.
This is great.
I'm a video man.
Drake just breaking apart into pieces like some AI robot.
And this is like,
all right,
it went away.
This is what I'm telling us. Ready?
Alright, he uploads the video. He realizes...
This is it! He reaches the pinnacle.
This is him telling us. Right...
Get there.
The commercial is so long.
It's still Drake, but Sprite is exploding out of his robot body.
Right here.
Let me fucking give it to you, bro.
Content. First name, Ewa.
Last name, Greatest. yeah uh i get it now
and that's uh it's so funny that you had a crypto so you guys are the same greatest you're right
mining uh crypto by driving reminds me of those people who would like farm pokemon go by carrying
around like six phones and an ip iPad as they walk through the streets.
I never saw a grinder like that.
Except instead of getting Pokemon,
maybe you bank $3 billion
or maybe you bank $3.
And it's a 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 How long was the ride? 30 minutes. Yeah, you had to put on how much money you made. All I wanted to do was watch TikTok and I had to listen to Korn instead.
And I don't like Metal.
I think you're the first guy
that's had that problem,
maybe ever.
I don't like Metal.
It's not.
It's not for me.
I prefer Japanese City Pop.
You do?
I prefer Japanese.
The Japanese border's closed again.
That's right.
Yeah, get fucking on.
Open the border.
Stop having it because-
Wait, because of the new variant?
Because Omniscron.
Are you going to Smash Camp now?
Whoops.
No.
Why?
Because I'm sad.
I'm going to...
In spite.
I'm going to Sweden in two days.
What?
I'm going back.
Hold on, wait.
I didn't know about this.
Yeah, he's going to Sweden for a Young Lean concert.
Is it in there?
It's going to be a hoot.
Do you see your ass?
No, I didn't see your ass.
Yeah.
I saw that coming
from a mile away.
This actually smells
like gasoline.
That's so cute.
This is real.
Do you think we can get high?
I mean, yeah.
Why are you going to Sweden?
Why are you going in?
What's there?
I'm literally just going.
This didn't have to do
with it at all.
The results came in
and it's his.
I don't like the bit. I like, you know what? You had sex with an older do with it at all. The results came in, and it's his. I don't like the bit.
You know what?
You had sex with an older woman, and that's okay.
Dude.
She wasn't even that much older than me.
Can I tell you, as your boss, if you go to Sweden and you don't come back with a pipe story, it's curtains.
What?
I'm not going to go pipe anybody.
That is so problematic.
I am now HR, and that was wrong.
I'm not traveling for sex. You have to pipe
and you have to tell us the story. It's the only reason
you're allowed to travel. What are you going to do? Otherwise
you're landlocked. I'm actually going to
a Young Lane concert and then I'm going to
a football match. I'm on his
side now. What's a football match? I don't know.
Some Swedish club. I love that. Dude, we watched
MidSlam watch
football highlights last night.
It was tight. Is that because of me? It was in your recommended. We fucked up to it. We had Slime watch football highlights last night. It was tight. Is that because of me?
Because we watched it two days ago.
It was in your recommended, so yes.
We fucked up your algorithm.
We put a bunch of Aqua Teen Hunger Force in there.
It's so cringe.
We did not.
But Slime was reacting to football like it was the first time he's watched it.
Not like in a bad way, but like he saw like his first bicycle kick and he went,
What?
Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, bro.
Everyone goes on the screen he
goes is that messy okay no they did have to point him out yeah i had to point out messy yeah i had
to literally go that's messy and he goes really yeah i said really ronaldo took his shirt off in
the montage and slime was like wow he's so i was like that guy's jacked and you're like that's
ronaldo and i'm like damn yeah yeah he also was like they have the most hair of any sport that's
true and then and then wayne rooney came on screen and he was like, they have the most hair of any sport. That's true. And then Wayne Rooney came on screen.
And he was like, wait a minute.
The theory why they have so much hair is that they're technically like higher celebrities
than like, say, American athletes because they're like world stars.
And like when you're a football athlete in your country, you're like a big fucking deal
and you got to take care of the way you look.
But like if you're a baseball player, you don't really like, you're not as like celebritified as you are you know i can't
argue on bald theory 101 so i'll believe you thank you my uh my grandma called me this week
and very very surprisingly found out my grandmother she's so old like this is so i'm just asking how she's doing right
it sounds lovely she sounds lovely is it is it the grandma of the grandpa in her life
uh no okay no you never talk about that guy i met his other grandpa and he was the sweetest
man i'd ever met yeah which was a lot coming from you it was like it's such to hear anthony
say that about someone was like such a nice endorsement.
That guy rules.
Yeah.
And I'll say it again.
He's a big fan of my grandpa.
I want to fly to his hot tub.
But this grandma, you know, she calls me every once in a while.
And to my very surprised ears, found out she listens to the podcast.
Oh, no.
She's like 70.
Sorry, can you give us a moment?
76, 75.
Sorry.
Sorry that we said that.
Sorry that we said all that stuff.
What's her last name?
Her name is Patricia.
Thank you.
Sorry, Patricia.
Thank you for watching The Yard.
Aiden's lovely.
She says she tries listening,
but she has to turn it off sometimes
because sometimes it gets too raunchy for her.
What?
I don't see where that's coming from.
That doesn't make sense.
But she says she still tries to listen to it because she likes hearing.
What does that mean?
Does she stop listening and then she goes and does stuff for an hour
and then comes back and is like, I'm sorry.
I don't know.
Like episode three.
I think she skips episodes.
Maybe this week they were cleaner. How far does Aiden's grandma get into this episode? That's what I don't know. Like episode three. I think she skips episodes. Maybe this week they were cleaner.
How far does Aiden's grandma get
into this episode? That's what I want to know.
I actually don't know what her line is
here. Okay, so there's a TikTok trend that's watching
food videos until you wouldn't put in
the effort. It's your grandma watching
the yard and ending when it gets too crass
for her. Yeah, that's right. We can make a YouTube video out of this.
We should try to aim for an episode
where we don't scare off Damon's grandma.
Our Jerry Seinfeld episode, if you will.
Over under Slime's raunchy asshole fart.
We record in a Catholic church, and we don't swear the entire episode, and we don't talk about anything that's a sin.
That's a great idea.
I like the idea of putting limitations breed ingenuity, and then we'll breed each other. And then we'll breed each other and then we'll breed each other
we can't say that we get them all sucking each other in the catholic church she's like she left
dude i feel like ludwig without the crudeness is like brian regan
to be fair i love that bit i like my my My eighth grade teacher showed us that bit.
That's my ninth grade teacher showed me that bit.
Teachers love Brian Regan.
I'm just Dane Cook doing the eighth grade.
I just love that he's clean.
Yeah.
I just love that my kid can listen.
Would you ever do stand-up?
Would you ever give it a shot?
Again?
Yeah.
Yeah, he did give it a shot.
I would do stand-up again.
More like a shot, I guess, of who you are now.
Because we went and saw Mike's stand-up show.
Yeah.
Me and Aiden did.
And it was really cool.
The Buthard stand-up really cool because I'd never seen
Mike do stand up he was grinding it for like
two or three years or something and I was like
this rules like Mike's funny
like people are enjoying themselves I was like you know what
I can give that a run it's tight it was a nice crowd
I wouldn't do it with what I'm currently doing
because I don't think I would be putting full effort
in but I wouldn't mind
doing it again it's pretty fun if YouTube
gave you $100 million
to do stand-up for two years,
would you do it? Or dinner with FaZe Banks.
Oh!
Is Patricia there? Can Patricia come?
She has too much value.
She can't come. Banks is going to teach
you everything you need to know to get to her
place and beat her.
Now I'm in.
Call me sold.
I'm sorry, Granny. What were you saying about your grandma?
I'm sorry, granny.
I'm sorry.
What did you call her, granny?
You don't call her meemaw?
I call her granny.
I have a different name for each grandparent.
Wait, roll me through.
At a certain point.
You got granny.
All the man bosses.
Okay, grandpa, grandma.
Those are the vanilla strains.
Papa, granny, nanny, granddad.
Wait, what do you have six?
I'm smoking granddad right now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you guys missing that he had six?
You have six grandparents.
Yeah, because of your biological mom.
My parents got remarried, yeah.
Oh, true.
Dead parents gang.
So six.
I have six grandparents.
You're alive?
That's kind of like squid gang.
No, one of them is passing away.
Having all those grandparents.
I was going to say, that's crazy.
Yeah, all of your grandparents are Squid Game.
I called my grandpa today because it's his birthday.
I call him Auelo.
Auelo?
Oh, he's the one that says you the poblerones.
Poblerones, yeah.
Yeah, he was like, your French is actually pretty good.
And I was like, appreciate it, G.
Who said it the other day when he was here?
He was like, I can't tell if Ludwig's French is fake or not.
And I'm like, he just speaks French.
I don't understand. It's like, it's fraud or not. And I'm like, he just speaks French.
I don't understand.
It's like, it's fraudulent in the sense that it's like talking to a seven-year-old.
Que baissez-vous.
What?
Right.
Que baissez-vous.
I have another fart, but I'm not going to let it go.
Wow.
Because it was so disruptive last night. You're so big for that.
It's the same thing I did earlier where I saved the kids.
The only reason I brought up my grandmother was because she was identifying.
I brought you up in conversation, and she was trying to parse which roommate was which roommate.
Yeah, and I said Anthony.
And she's like, which one is Anthony again?
Is he the one with no hair?
And that was her go.
That's really funny.
Yeah, I am a beacon for this type.
I just talked to my mother about the podcast.
She actually brought it up on her own.
And she specifically brought it up because she was like, you know, Anthony on the show.
And I was like, yeah.
And she's like, sometimes when he's talking, I just get him.
Yeah, which is so funny.
And I was like, don't say that.
She's like, sometimes he just like when he's going off on like a thing.
Yes, sir.
I'm like, that's how I feel.
Yes, sir.
And I was like, oh, no.
I access audiences that you all would never dream of.
You are just saying in different words, you are old.
I am saying that my value is crazy.
Based off your age.
My value is timeless.
I'm sorry.
Do you not want to grow, Ludwig?
Do you not want bread?
Because that's how we get bread is by 50-year-olds being like,
I kind of like that guy.
We need more 50-ish women in the audience.
And then I bring them back to reality.
They're on Facebook.
They're posting emojis like fucking Gootex being all weird.
I bring them back.
Making those weird text image posts that all boomers
make 2021 robert frost is either q anon or slime on her that's right two roads diverge in a wood
and nothing gold one one was busy out brief candle the other love slime takes
but that's the thing i bring them back right that's my job i
will bring back your racist mom not racist back from being racist and i will make her probably
out a lovely person gotta be out now for sure right she's no longer a slime fan off that one
no she would have laughed at that unfortunately she would have found that funny stamp of approval
you got a tattoo update for us yes so. So all the tattoos have been selected.
Should we save it?
I think we're just about 90.
We at 90?
Zip.
Zip.
I think we're about.
He just groaned.
He groaned.
We're not close then.
Let's keep going.
I don't think we're not close.
I have a good clickbait.
I think you're directly there.
You have a clickbait?
I have a good clickbait.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
So let's just keep.
Just go for it.
What's the tattoo update? So. For the Patreon. We have all good clickbait. Oh, you do? Yeah. So let's just keep, just go for it. What's the tattoo update for the Patreon?
So we have all of them selected.
I have given all of the images to Aiden, and Aiden is currently seeding it.
And once it is seeded, I have already planned out how exactly we're going to do this.
We're going to go live in the Discord of the Patreon with a stage so everyone can see our screen.
And we have a bracket that people will vote in.
And then once we're in Grands, we'll run a Marbles game.
And it'll randomly choose the very last one.
This all happened in like one day?
All going to happen in one day.
Okay.
So we'll announce what time and when so you can kind of be there or be square.
Are we going to do a live stream?
It's like a Discord live stream.
This is the best way to assure that no one can like inflate the –
Oh, so it's Patreon only?
It's Patreon only.
So it's like very exclusive.
Right.
Exclusive.
But Aiden, have you started seeing it yet?
How's it going?
No.
I made my account.
What did you do in general?
I got all of this material last night.
He did say I could do it tonight, last night.
I did say that.
But then we hung out with our friend.
It's true.
Did you cap?
Good excuse.
No, it's a bad excuse.
So you capped?
You did cap. I did cap. Whoa! Put it It's true. Good excuse. No, it's a bad excuse. So you capped? You did cap. I did
cap. Whoa!
Your honor! Hey, stenographer,
put it on the record. Bailiff, arrest yourself.
Dude, we've been watching videos about
stenography. Oh, dude, it's so sick. Yeah, we were
talking about how to type really fast. Do you guys know about stenography
YouTube? Do you also know
that Siglemic quit?
That's why I know about stenography.
Siglemic quit Melee
Mario
no no no
Melee
cause he
he had kinda quit
Mario already
Siglemic got really
into Melee
that's actually how
I met Siglemic
was he was involved
in like the Washington
and Oregon Melee scenes
he attended a ton
of tournaments
for like a long time
I have driven Siglemic
to a tournament
uh
and
uh after he quit melee
apparently he got really into learning stenography like i would find this out stream it a lot yeah
they're like 300 words per minute go and they're like beep beep and for those who those who aren't
familiar because now now at this point it's been a lot of years i feel like siglemic was probably the dude who
popularized speed running super mario 64 in a lot of ways he was probably because he was the best
for a bit and he was the person who made it like i would say super relevant it was like because not
a lot of people streamed even and streaming itself was a novelty and he's just like going insane and
sm64 this was the was the Siglemic
now Narcissa days.
Yeah, yeah.
2013.
Oh man, those were
dude, Narcissa's
like Wind Waker runs
doing the super swim.
I would fall asleep
to those.
Man.
I remember there was
I would watch Narcissa
and Siglemic play
play Melee
on Twitch sometimes.
Narcissa, I think
second person I subbed to.
Wow.
Really?
Behind Retro Gaijin.
Wow.
One of my favorite
videos was her video
where she finally set
like, I think it's
like the 1810 in
Ocarina.
Yeah.
And she narrates and
explains the run in
like a really well
edited, well paced
piece.
And that's like one
of my favorite gaming
videos I've ever
watched.
The AGDQ one.
No.
There was one where she is like years and years ago,
and she's explaining some sort of no ending run,
narrating the run while it's going on.
That's AGDQ.
An old AGDQ with YSG in the back and shit.
It was a really good video.
In a similar topic,
her video explaining the the competitive concepts and like tech in melee
is also one of the videos like when you got into it in like 2013 her video explaining and breaking
down melee movement and tech is a huge introduction video for a bunch of people she was a zelda zelda
crew battle master she's in the doc pretty sure there's a giant picture of a big crew battle master. She's in the doc, pretty sure. There's a giant picture of a big crew battle.
She's like there.
Oh, that's sick.
So I was tasked
to do the clickbait at the end here.
And I'll tell you, it's a good one.
Because it's about my weird dad
and something he did in 1992
that you guys might find
really, really funny. But you can only find out
if you watch the bonus
episode. And it has to do
with his body.
I'll also tell you how much I made on
YouTube.