The Yard - Ep. 23 - Slime vs The World

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

It's December everybody! This week the boys come with a hot new theme song and a bag full of stories. Ludwig goes on a drug journey, Slime starts multiple beefs, and the boys discuss the validity of s...tage hypnotism.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 you know what i was thinking i was like you know what we can't we're kind of in a weird spot we can't talk good shit anymore why is that because ludwig's too connected no that's every time if we want to talk about how the betez sisters literally endorse slavery he has to go and he has to go before the senate and he has to say hey guys look there it's like a thing and he has to like break bread so he has to go and be like all right so i know it's confusing the horse moves in an l shape and so they figured this out a while ago. I know.
Starting point is 00:00:48 We're a lot. We are Ludwig's liability. You are jumping because you basically made a monologue on Sykuno after never having watched him
Starting point is 00:00:56 to now we can't dude. Disparate slimy. Slime comes on the show and he goes yo I want to talk about Sykuno diaper play. And then next week he's like, we all
Starting point is 00:01:05 fucked up, huh? This is the beginning of his Rogan arc. No, it's not. No, it's not. White men, they just don't have a space on the internet anymore. And then Netflix comes in hands in the check. Dude, do you remember when Ethan Klein did like a BuzzFeed
Starting point is 00:01:21 doesn't care about white people video? I was like, like damn this has gone a long way from pepsi max like what happened it's just a word anymore dude anyway yeah i was thinking about that a lot it's like bloodwig has to constantly go to these people and be like hey what what your roommate said that like where were criminals and he's got to be like ah you know all in the game you know i think would be really nice that we did if we all if we all said sorry to austin who i heard had his feelings hurt by slime his feelings i was actually i was bummed about that i felt bad dude you forget like it's funny because on one side you're like damn we are humans treat us like
Starting point is 00:02:00 humans and then when i have influencer friends You're like Fucking shill Fucking robot creep Actually created in a lab Austin I have nothing To apologize for The content machine is empty I asked if you had A unique interest It's really only Anthony
Starting point is 00:02:13 But I thought we could Do it from all of us Because it would Be funnier on camera I wanted to know If he liked A YouTube channel That I liked
Starting point is 00:02:20 Well let him know That you didn't want To apologize You turned it into A Deez Nuts joke But it was really funny It was really funny. Everyone here is just gaslighting my poor man, Eamon.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I don't believe in gaslighting. Hey, say it. Say it. Say it to Austin. Yeah, no. Actually, I would like to say it. So Austin has... I've been...
Starting point is 00:02:38 Austin Show, by the way. I've been kind of mean to that guy for a while. That's so funny. That sentence works with like 90% of humans. No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But the thing is, here's why I felt slighted. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:02:57 Sorry, go ahead. Get your bit in. He's like, I think I have unfairly yelled at Aiden this time. I would never say that. I would time. I would never say that. I would never. It's like him saying that. I would never say that. You catch me dead before I would say that word.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Those words. You know, I think I said something a little too quick this time. Never. I'd like to take it back. Perhaps I should have absorbed material before coming to a conclusion. I am going to explain my perspective, which does not justify, nor excuse, nor validate it. Okay? Welcome back to the yard, everybody.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Welcome to the yard. World's longest intro. Basically, so I went on the Batez Austin date show. What is it called now? I think it's just called the Austin show. Actually, I don't know. It was the Rothschilder. I don't know what he calls it. Yeah, I didn't want to say that. The Austin Shiller.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I mean, you can still call it The Rajshiller. Oh, The Austin Shiller. Now you're in on the joke. That's funny, Aiden. And so I went on that. I'm sorry. And so I have a prejudice against the idea of live stream content and daily popcorn YouTube content.
Starting point is 00:04:02 And oddly enough, many of the tentacles that Ludwig touches, right? Like all the time. And I always have, right? You also live stream too. Yeah, but, well, no. When I say live stream content, I mean like that sort of like spoon-fed reality TV, like live stream scene, if that makes sense,
Starting point is 00:04:25 uh, which I don't think is a crazy concept. And, and I'm just initially always against it. I always have been, it's always kind of struck me as weird, um, which is,
Starting point is 00:04:32 you know, not, that's what, that's, that's my thing anyway. So I go on that show, I make it in the fucking gladiatorial arena of like all these unfunny people end up top three bed.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Jay Schlatt, me, three people with great reputation on the Fed, Jay Shlatt, me. Three people with great reputations on the internet. One guy- There's fucking spotless records. Known as being the best racist and has not streamed in two years. The other, terrible ousting from OTV,
Starting point is 00:04:56 now ripped and has a dog. And then a hair criminal. What? What's a hair criminal? You're bald. I don't know the funnier way to say that. Okay, yeah. And so basically i was like in in this scene like a nobody and i just was like made enough
Starting point is 00:05:12 b-level jokes to get to the final three and then i got cut because i wasn't you know popular and it was funny and then i remember after austin had said something like this guy is next up he is so funny he's next up and i was wrongfully offended because i was like you should already know that i'm fucking that is so fucking funny yeah because i was like so many levels i actually don't know do we have time to break all that down austin austin should have been watching doritos at the instant replay bad melee smash youtube for him to like you should have been watching smash summit it also it made me feel like well of course this guy because i also have this self-deprecating element where i'm like i'm not that funny you just don't know what funny is right and so i'll
Starting point is 00:05:55 think about it from that lens a lot and so all these elements come together it's like he's a guy who hosts like ultimately reality shows on twitch's like, I already have this idea of this person, and I'm like, this guy sucks. And then he's like, bro, you're next up. And I'm just like, all right. And that is where it all started. And then ever since, I've called him a shill. I've just called him a shill.
Starting point is 00:06:16 For complimenting you. You mean to like the only successful gay streamer. That's not true. Hey, hey, don't take that away from Prezzo. Prezzo's putting fucking work in. Prezzo's putting up numbers. He's hitting the backboard on this tweet. You see that clip where Prezzo made a girl version of himself
Starting point is 00:06:34 and then dragged it as a JPEG and blew himself and then spit water all over himself. That's art. That was funny. You got to scroll real far and just chat it to find that guy yeah but that's not the point and that's the difference that's why it still makes me mad doesn't care he doesn't go to universal with you unless you're fucking a big dog brother and i'm like i'll never if you ask him to go to universal i bet he would and you would never yeah i also asked him lately
Starting point is 00:07:01 if he wanted to go to a basketball game or he said no so it's not it's a mooch point. No, I'm not talking about going with me. I'm just talking about Ludwig is now in an environment where it's like your time has to be spent so carefully and valuably that being among the streets is just not reasonable, and that's okay. You know what I realized about Ludwig today while I was driving? I was thinking about this. So Ludwig went rock climbing. I think it was yesterday. He comes home and he's like,
Starting point is 00:07:27 I went rock climbing. I'm like, sick invite. Where the fuck was that? He's like, I just assume until you quit your job that you're just always busy. I was like, okay. Literally, the next day, or the same night actually, he's like, hey, so you want to record the pod early tomorrow? I'm like, no, I work all day.
Starting point is 00:07:44 He doesn't expect me to be busy when he wants to do the podcast early but when i want to do something he just doesn't invite me because i'm fucking busy it's really convenient how that shit works you moron i've invited you to a lot of climbing sessions so funny because you you have asked him the same podcast question as if it's the first time at least 10 times. Every Monday. At least 10 times. And I was actually fine with being asked every time
Starting point is 00:08:10 because sometimes I work from home. I was okay being asked until I realized. Until I realized that it is entirely self-serving. I asked you so much
Starting point is 00:08:20 climbing sessions. based on his schedule. I feel like we are ignoring the fact that I ask him to more climbing sessions and he asks me. Hey, hey, lay off.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Lay off Ludwig. I don't go without you. Hey, lay off Ludwig. He's busy. Hey, then you ain't been climbing enough. I'm with you. It was miserable, by the way. Climbing?
Starting point is 00:08:35 I don't know. Yeah. Wait, why was climbing miserable? Do you not like doing it by yourself? He comes over here. He says to me, he goes, dude, I was a fucking zoo animal. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:41 You were like a lemur in the zoo. I'm AirPods in, I'm wearing a sussy among us shirt and then a Hess championship, which is like a chest sweatshirt over it. Like super cringe merch and a love Hess though. And I'm like AirPods in listening to like a podcast, like just busting up some walls. And like, i was just walking through and it's like this is the face oh but they don't say anything but they don't say anything and they're just kind of gawking at me oh and then i like the problem is every conversation is like dude you look exactly like ludwig were they what and i was like yeah i am they're like dude what no way and you know I knew every single person
Starting point is 00:09:26 there was not like a real Ludwig fan in the sense that like they knew who I was they're a streamer fan they've consumed content they didn't show their tattoo they're not I wouldn't even go that far they're more like a guy like a YouTube Amogus fan in 2020 is what it felt like and so it was like you know like I don't think any of them knew I was on YouTube or like what I was doing these days but I was just like hey you are somewhat I I don't think any of them knew I was on YouTube or like what I was doing these days. But I was just like, hey, you are somewhat. I've seen you on a screen before and I was watching it. And like, I was kind of feeling like a like a bit of a schmuck.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Hadn't showered. I was going to shower after climbing. And then after I climbed, they just kind of hang out and they're all good climbers. That was a problem, too. Dude, this is exactly the problem that like women face every day like getting approached to the gym and like people yeah and like and like oh i gotta kind of be on yeah and then they come up and they're like good when i leave the house oh shit you need help with your deadlift form this is crazy and i'm like dude bro i'm all right like i'm just kind of working on my
Starting point is 00:10:18 deadlift it's like that when you completely remove the power dynamic which makes it so much easier for ludwig that's true to navigate yeah i guess i guess if he's like hey no i'm good i kind of just want to be left alone they won't be like okay bitch i think like they won't think that well i thought you were ugly anyway dude that's this is blowing my mind you're a guy stop you we're living always instead of having sex with ludwig they'd want to be in one of his YouTube videos about climbing. Some people were cool, too. They were trying to get me to do this wall, and I was trying it, and I was like, I'm not good enough.
Starting point is 00:10:51 They were like V6 climbers. Oh, okay. I'm like, what do you want from me? This actually is the added risk of going alone, right? Because you don't have the force field of a social interaction with one of your closer friends. I think I don't want to go without my Nick blanket again. Well, now you need him. Let's go. Now you have to call him up.
Starting point is 00:11:06 You know what we should do? Next time someone comes up, it's like, climb that V6 right now or no picture. What if you do a picture? One try. And then they go over, they spend all day on it, and we're like fucking killing them. You use terminology. Flash it for me. Flash it?
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yo, you want to climb tomorrow morning? No, I can't. He's at work. It's Smash Summit! It's Smash Summit! One way! It's his busiest week. And this week is Smash Summit. And it's smash summit it's smash summit one way it's his busiest week and this week is smash summit and it's gonna be a
Starting point is 00:11:28 great one in a similar topic while so I went to Sweden it's not you know and there was a concert I went to the fucking young lean concert we're in line waiting to get
Starting point is 00:11:44 in and there was this guy who kind of did this double take in front of me. And we're with one of the people I'm at the concert with is Leffen. And Leffen, you know, here for Smash Summit, famous Smash player. Often, ever since I've met Leffen, like for the first time we hung out, like he gets recognized literally all the time. And this guy does a double take at our group and he looks behind at me and he's like are you aiming and i'm like yeah and he's like i was just listening the fight goes the fox player he was like i was just listening to uh i was just listening
Starting point is 00:12:18 to the latest episode today like the the latest episode of the yard i was like oh yeah fuck yeah like nice to meet you his name was fuck yeah bro come here bro come here get in there yes and i asked for his name arm wrestling and uh and we were talking he was like why are you here and i was just saying oh yeah i'm visiting them like visiting friends and uh and i was like we're here with uh leffin because leffin had like fallen behind he hadn't like checked in through the gate yet where if you know who leffin is too and he's like i did not i think i've heard the name like it was this really funny situation where me and all of our friends that have all like been with leffin for so long who's always been so much more famous than everybody and it was like finally a moment it's like this guy doesn't even know who he is yeah and i got i got recognized first which was super funny just the inversion of of leffffen being the most popular person at a young lean concert
Starting point is 00:13:09 yeah who has more followers he has more followers on twitter than young lean does yeah which is also funny but it's insane to me so this is this is after the concert and you you had talked about this later and the reason why i wanted to bring it up is he i think he must have been super drunk or something because he was like incessantly replying to leffin uh on twitter trying to get a like trying to get a message from me and then you said he had been messaging you as well yeah so annoying and i just hadn't looked at my phone in a while and i i oh imagine that yeah i imagine because i've usually i'm checking it a lot. And I replied to him.
Starting point is 00:13:48 I'm like, yo, what's up? Because he was just trying to see what's up after the concert. And he's like, yeah, we're going out. If you want to come out. I'm like, no, sorry, dude. We already have something planned. And I'm probably going to go to bed pretty early. This is the fan or Ludwig?
Starting point is 00:14:02 This is the fan. This is the fan. And then he's like, okay, yeah, no problem. Let me know if you want any Coke. of bed like pretty early this is the fan or ludwig uh this is the fan this is the fan and uh and then he's like okay yeah yeah no problem let me know if you want any coke and then it all comes together i'm like this guy is probably just coked out of his fucking mind and that's why he's sending like 20 messages a second it's cool you can go to another country and get offered coke for this podcast so that's before leffin that's the important thing it's not about getting the offer for coke it's about that leffen didn't get it you tell leffen he's like dude i
Starting point is 00:14:29 used to get offered coke so much yeah they just know i don't want it so whatever yeah but it just all like fused together it was like because he messaged me like once like normally the next day and i'm like okay so he was just in coke mode, presumably. That's Atriok's wet dream. What? To be offered drugs? No. Schedule two?
Starting point is 00:14:49 I am Leffen and then Atriok is Eamon. This happened. This exact thing happened. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. You're talking about the climbing and he was like, hey, I'm a fan of the yard.
Starting point is 00:14:58 And then he went to Atriok. He went to Atriok first. Lowey and Atriok were like next to each other and he introduced himself to Atriok. I'm a big fan of your streams. Can I beef real quick with Atriok? He always got beef with Atriok. Oh yeah, man. It's a podcast. You might as well. By the way, I never got to
Starting point is 00:15:11 apologize. I'm sorry, Austin. Say it to the camera. Don't say it to me. You say it to him. It's just kind of funny. It got blown over and then I was like... I think the amount you know about planes is cool. Yeah, we all agree on that. To cap it off,
Starting point is 00:15:26 after all that happened, I went and I started watching Sykuno's streams, just raw, and I'm like, this is nice. I get it. He's fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:36 He's a very calming voice. Incredibly inoffensive. But you were the one that said all that fucked up shit. So anyway. Wait, I actually have a beef. Can I air a beef with him? With who?
Starting point is 00:15:46 I'll take it off you. With Austin. Oh, yeah. I'll air my beef really quick. Yeah, please. The airing of Ravenses. You got beef? No, this is great.
Starting point is 00:15:51 This is a great way to cap an apology. Every time this happens, Ludwig's like, oh, I gotta fucking. We are a liability for Ludwig. And part of that makes me happy. But also part of it, because I'm Ludwig-pilled now, makes me sad. I just like the idea of him stressing and feeling emotions at my hand. You guys are all bad humans. Continue.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Okay, so. Again, again, roped into this. So the night that we met him in Texas, he was talking to Aiden, and it was like they – I couldn't even – it's like how a movie describes two best friends meeting each other for the first time. They were, like, so happy and talking to each other and, like into stuff and like i was like wow they're really they're really hitting it off they're really like you know having a good conversation and then uh he like kind of turns and like aid walks away to do something else and he like makes eye contact with me and he goes uh i'm not exaggerating he goes you with like the whole ludwig thing and i was like i was like, yeah. He goes. And then it turns away.
Starting point is 00:16:48 And I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, what do I got to do? I got to look like that? That's all I got to do? You know what you got to do? Catch third in a Rochler. Wait, he didn't do that shit. Or you'd be cute. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Charming and cute and tall like Eamon. I'll work on it. Bro. That is a bad omen. The grill. The grill disagrees with what you said. The ghost of Austin just fucking moved the grill.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Yeah, so my beef's hot. Okay, well, my beef's gone, but, you know. Did he put it back? Nah. Dude, it like, okay. So, Atriok, Atriok was here this, like,
Starting point is 00:17:21 this last weekend. And, um, he was here for, like, a week, basically. He was here for, like, a really long time. He was supposed to come for a smaller thing? He was here this last weekend. He was here for like a week, basically. He was here for like a really long time. He was supposed to come for a smaller thing? He was here for five days. It was a smaller thing, right? He was here for Point Crow's thing.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Point Crow. I mixed them up. Yeah. Is that bad? It's another bad trick. They have similar profile pictures. That's why I mixed them up. It is equivalent to Austin saying to Nick,
Starting point is 00:17:43 are you part of the Ludwig thing? No, it is not. No, not at all. If you guys don't understand that Point Crowe... They're profile pictures. Point Crowe consistently lives in Small Ant's shadow and a lot of people give him grief for it. I'm just letting you know how it is.
Starting point is 00:17:55 I didn't even know they were related. They just have similar profile pictures. I'm just letting you know how it is from Point Crowe's perspective. Yeah, that's good. You guys can tell him how he feels about it. From his perspective, you're right. All right. The same thing. you shouldn't feel bad about this I'm writing
Starting point is 00:18:08 our apology for next week right now you shouldn't feel bad plus you're white is he maybe Cuban so okay H-Rod is staying with us and he'll just hang out in Ludwig's, like, where Ludwig usually sits in our office. And he'll play, like, Age of Vampires.
Starting point is 00:18:30 And he was here for a while, and it's actually really fun having him around. He's very, like, bouncy. Yeah. And he, like, he always jokes with you, and he's always, like, in a good mood. And I'm like, you know what? This is a fun guy. I'm like, I could, I could, I like this. And so I decided to open my heart to h rock you were there
Starting point is 00:18:46 and i and i he's oh yeah he's he's he's like about to leave the doritos he's literally i'm gonna go shower yeah he's salty from a video game and i was like hey before you do i wanted to tell you something and he's like what i'm like i just wanted to say that i you've been hanging out a lot here and i'm really it makes me really happy, and I've been really enjoying your company. It's been pretty cool, man. I really enjoy having you around. And he's like, what the fuck? And he thought I was joking with him or something.
Starting point is 00:19:17 He was like, is it like a bit or something? And I'm like, no, I'm legit telling you that it makes me feel good. And he's like, I'm just going to go shower. And he just leaves. He was so rattled because this is off the back of him losing an Age of Empires match that he was super salty about. He gets really mad. That you were fucking with him during.
Starting point is 00:19:40 No, I fucked with him on one, and I took that funny video, and then it was another one that he played. Oh, this a different game okay okay it was a different one that he played he was he was uh like out of whack because because of the loss and he just couldn't compute slimes like nice sentiment after being like bombarded with bits and it was like he's like wait no you don't go anywhere he's trying to spill his heart out to you yeah i stopped him from leaving i said i said you'll leave the room until he's done. Because he doesn't do this very often. And then he wasn't having it.
Starting point is 00:20:07 But the thing is, we didn't know he was mad at a video game. Because the next time he came down, I chastised him where I was like, fuck you, man. I tried to fucking open my heart. And I was fucking kidding. Like, you tried to open my heart. You just won't let me, bro. You won't let me in.
Starting point is 00:20:17 He's like, oh, I was just mad at a video game. And I was like, oh, you bitch. I could spill some dirty tea on him right now. Wait. Wait, you have to. Wait, I have to. You I could spill some dirty tea on him right now. Wait. Wait, you have to. Wait, I have to. You're going to spill dirty tea on Brando? I know what it is.
Starting point is 00:20:28 I was going to say it. Now, I actually can't, so Eamon, I'll let you take over. I promise. Wait, why can't you? He did like a... The audio listener's slime was pinching his nipples and screaming. He did like beg for you to not say it. He begged me not to say it, and I said I wouldn't, and so I won't.
Starting point is 00:20:44 But Eamon, if you were there... That's fucking crazy. You brought it up. You brought it up. You have to say it. He begged me not to say it and I said I wouldn't and so I won't. But Eamon, if you were there. Aiden can say it. That's fucking crazy. You're putting him in such a crazy position. No, he brought it up first. I'm saying he brought it up, but now it has to be said. Give me the dirty, dirty, dirty tea now. It's time for the Aiden English breakfast tea moment.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Do you think he'd actually be mad? Earl fucking Gray. We'll cut it out if it's bad. Whatever. They'll be fine. Okay, so we're downstairs. We're hanging out outside the office, and H-Rock is at his computer working on a thumbnail.
Starting point is 00:21:11 And we're talking outside the office, just like joking around. And then I think we need H-Rock for something. So we go into the room, and Ludwig catches what's going on on his screen, what he's doing with the thumbnail. I go to his thumbnail, and I say, this would make it better
Starting point is 00:21:25 and I click on his face and I hit the delete button and then so we're at his computer and then Ludwig's like Ludwig looks again and he's like wait were you were you moving your hairline forward no fucking oh no
Starting point is 00:21:45 bring up the rip bozo gif please no dude okay so he's like trying to explain himself he's like no it's cause the angle it's cause the angle my face is at I just wanted to adjust it it was just a little bit
Starting point is 00:22:01 and Ludwig and me to live here and he immediately he immediately goes into damage control he immediately goes into damage control he's like you can't tell anybody you can't tell me you can't talk about this on the podcast no if you bring it up on the podcast people are gonna give me shit forever and he's just like babbling about and the whole time I'm like crying, laughing. It was so funny. We caught him in the act.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I will defend him now after dragging him. He basically like just blows up his face to be larger. And then it cuts off his hair because his hair just like kind of sits on the top. So he brings it down. So he brings it down. So it's not just his bald forehead. Yeah, because otherwise it would just be his bald forehead. And people would say he looks bald. And I used to all the time remove my acne from thumbnails. Just his bald forehead? Yeah, because otherwise it would just be his bald forehead, and people would say he looks bald.
Starting point is 00:22:48 And I used to all the time remove my acne from thumbnails. I would just do a quick copy surrounding area. That's different. And I would remove my acne all the time. So different. I told Chad about it openly. So different. But surely none of you guys are going to go to his chat and bother him, so it's all right.
Starting point is 00:22:59 This is actually Christmas for me. I am. My gift to you. My gift to slime. Oh, yeah. Now you also get slime. That's it. Oh, my heart is full.
Starting point is 00:23:15 We should have gifts for the Christmas episode that we share with each other. I'm down. On the episode. On the episode. Someone suggested it. That's on the White Elephant. We have to do it in New Hampshire. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Wait. That episode? That's the Christmas episode. What about the 29 right now? Seven. Someone suggested it in the discord. We have to do it in New Hampshire. Wait, that episode? That's the Christmas episode, yeah. What about the 20th? We've already said it before. We said it. Oh. And I'll say it again. We're going to my hometown, my house, that I grew up in, actually. Same one.
Starting point is 00:23:37 And my mom still lives there, and we're gonna record the yard there. Yeah, I'm gonna find the rag he used to bust into and crack it in half like a clipboard. It wasn't a rag. I would just use my clothes. Oh. I'm going to dip it in guac and see if it stays in one piece when I pull it back out
Starting point is 00:23:54 like a chip. I want to see how much cheese and veggies I can put on it. The label says it won't break, but I don't believe it. He carries a lot of meat. I called my mom about it today. I told her. She's excited about it.
Starting point is 00:24:08 After we booked our flight. Yeah. Are the flights booked? Mine and Anthony's are. Yeah. I didn't book shit. But she did say that Mrs. B, who is my best friend growing up's mom, has an extra bedroom for you guys if you want to stay there.
Starting point is 00:24:23 For the three of us? Uh-huh. In one bed mrs b yeah mrs b you were talking good on mrs b he's great yeah she makes delicious bagel sandwiches that's not what you're talking about before that's what i was saying that's what you were talking about mrs b is delicious sandwiches yeah i always bring up her bagel sandwiches you can go back i feel like the context was different it was was her bagel sandwiches. She sounds great. She's great. And I would love to do that. You, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:46 I have a question for you. I figured this was intentional, but I was surprised by the number of people that did not notice it. I watched your video with the dislike counter in it. Uh-huh. Cool concept. Like it a lot. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Bad execution. You really should have bet. Caroline looking really hot on that thumbnail. I listened to the first two sentences, and I'm like, he's biting Tom Scott. This is like a sentence. This is bar for bar Tom Scott. Let me close my Roman history video. Yeah, but I was surprised by like
Starting point is 00:25:15 nobody made a comment about it at all. The comments were literally filled with people. When I checked it. I didn't scroll down once. All right, hold on. I watched it like 30 minutes after you uploaded it. This video won't be 100% accurate. In fact, it'd be a miracle if it was.
Starting point is 00:25:31 And that's because the way YouTube allows you to... No, don't play that. Go to the end. Go to the last 10 seconds, because Eamon missed this. Oh, shit. Oh, no. A little earlier. 10 seconds before that. Aiden doesn't get the entire context but forms an opinion. One more, one more, one more.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Oh, yeah, I see it. By the way, before the video ends, I have to give a huge thank you to Tom Scott who inspired this video with his video. How many views does this video have? Thank you very much, Tom. Yeah, and what Zipper just showed is Ludwig's video showing Tom Scott's channel and video.
Starting point is 00:26:04 You didn't make it another minute before commenting. You are the commenter that Scott's channel and video. You didn't make it another minute before commenting. You are the commenter that I despise the most. I didn't comment. You did what I did. You literally just commented on it. You're the same. You did what I did with Sykuna, but you did what your friend Ludwig and you love. I watched four minutes of the video.
Starting point is 00:26:18 It is a four minute video. It's three minutes, 55 seconds. You just keep lying. I watched you explain why dislikes need to be on YouTube. You ended the video. I watched you get into the meat of your argument and then exited. All I'm saying is you left before the thing happened. And I get it. Your retention for that video is 55%.
Starting point is 00:26:35 So you left about average leave time. But you missed the part where I did specifically shout out Tom Scott. You're average. You're average and we're the same. We can cut this. We can cut this bit. No, I think it's fine. No, you wrote it on the whiteboard and everything.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Good video, though. It's the first video to ever hit a million views in 24 hours. It's a great video. Wait, really? It's a great video. Yeah. Wow. Repeated it same day with the why I moved to YouTube on the second channel.
Starting point is 00:26:57 And that's why you're respected. You give credit where credit's due. He's sucking up. I'll take it. Also, weird thing. You're so easy. He's so easy, bro. This made me go back to
Starting point is 00:27:06 the Tom Scott video, which I'm surprised is still working. And depressing. What is it? I don't know what this is. He basically has a video that says this video has, and it's the amount of views it has, and it's correct, and it's impressively correct. Like, every time you refresh it, it's usually one-to-one. And
Starting point is 00:27:21 it's basically about how this code that he put in to do this will break like the mountain that he's standing in front of will fall down like the entire earth will go away so it's a meditation on like the philosophy of like death and entropy yeah it's basically about entropy but why you should still create things even though entropy exists yeah really it's not just like a cute like hey i made a little that's what mine is no his is like you should have done that no i'm like all things will live and die and significant not really significantly matter ever do you and most people who watch my videos are not subscribed yeah that's what i'm doing you should can you start doing that can you start
Starting point is 00:27:59 in your videos so yeah for tiktok time, start slipping in dreadful existential ruminations for a minute. Seven seconds of all the lights off and your eyes painted black and you're staring at the camera. I'm going to answer this for you guys. No. Why's that? Yeah. Can you explain why you won't do that? You know, just because that's not how I think.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Oh, not an artist. I feel like you don't want to think outside the box. That's right. You don't think outside the bun. And box. That's right. You don't think it's not the bun. And Dr. K was right. You are broken. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:28 You guys want to hear about when I got mushrooms? When you got mushrooms? When you got them? On three. One, two, three. Yes, Ludwig. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:37 So I was over Hassan's house the other day. We ate surströmming, which is what I was trying to get you guys to eat. No, you ate that shit?
Starting point is 00:28:44 This is the herring, right? Yeah. I ate it. Was it for a meme? We fermented it or just herring? It was the fermented, yeah. So it's basically fermented herring. What they do, it's a Swedish dish.
Starting point is 00:28:53 It's like 500 years old. And it's what they would use when they go on long sailing voyages because it preserves really well. It's just really incredibly salty fish. Is that why he said that his house smelled bad? Yes. The fermentation process is terrible. And Miskif had to eat it because he lost a bet to me, and we opened it up at a sans.
Starting point is 00:29:07 He had no clue what this was. He actually hates fish and seafood in general. Sandoz? Yeah. So I convinced him to open this and also eat it. And it doesn't actually taste as bad as it smells. It smells wretched. He likes you, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:21 He likes you for doing that. He does, and his house smells fucking terrible now. But while I was there, he was talking about how he has these mushroom chocolate bars with psilocybin, the active ingredient in mushrooms. And he was talking about taking them. I was a DD all day. I was driving cutie homes. I was like, I'm all set. Imagine if you were like, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:29:44 I mean, it's like only a few miles. Mario uses them when he drives. He's fucking chilling. He goes fast. Well, let me tell you, that's coming. Mario's coming in this story. Wait, Super Mario? Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Okay. So I just keep this locked in my mind, but it reminds me that I haven't had an edible in like a month plus. It's been a while. I just don't have any. and i was like oh i should go purchase some and this last night when me and cutie are getting dinner i'm like hey let's stop by this place and it's called like secret alley edibles or something like that secret alley weed just rock bottom from oh the we won't kill you smokery yeah how would they call it that well we walk around this plaza
Starting point is 00:30:27 that I've never like there's a bunch of like plazas like little pockets that'll be like Asian or Hispanic in LA it's all over this is like an Asian plaza I've never been to it's really
Starting point is 00:30:35 cute but there are signs all around the building that were saying it was like all in Chinese and then underneath the translation was purse snatchers here beware whoa I know that's hype i
Starting point is 00:30:46 was not but we were walking around for like 10 minutes couldn't find the place i end up calling and she guides me and it literally was a secret alleyway where you have to go down it's an unmarked wall i don't know if this is because what they're doing is illegal i was thinking what dude are there no normal stores in california there's like a sign that says like no road runners dude yeah she like you're on the phone she's like okay yeah look at the ground and she opens a hatch from the pavement the first door is a painting again seattle shit is like a genius bar dude it's the it's the opposite it's not like that here i think it's because look and this is what i kind of pieced together. It's an unmarked building.
Starting point is 00:31:25 There's a buzzer. You go in. There's a first entryway with like a security guard. He checks my ID. And he's like, he says like this. He's like, all right, here for your medical weed. I'm like, sure. Yeah, I love my medical weed.
Starting point is 00:31:37 And then a second door that I go through. And then I'm in and it's the lady. And she's like, so glad you found it. People struggle. And I'm glad you recited the correct incantation yeah and she goes through she's like okay we have ice cream weed we have these big fat doobie doobs and goes through the whole list and i'm like just the edible please ma'am leads me to it right next to it the same chocolate bar hasan had of mushrooms so this is illegal right? Yeah it is not yet legal to my understanding
Starting point is 00:32:08 to purchase mushrooms Which makes whatever Ludwig's saying parody I'm allegedly talking about this. You've named the business. No I'm allegedly naming the business. No it's Purse Snatchers Incorporated It was Acme Weed And the bar
Starting point is 00:32:24 has Mario riding Yoshi but Yoshi looks fucked up. And then it says one up bar because it's mushrooms. It's like if you could buy chocolate at Hot Topic. He likes it. I was going to say, this has been a Hot Topic shirt for like a hundred years. My fucking one up silly band. And the labels misprinted. It goes one to three because it's a bar of chocolate with like, you know, whatever, 15
Starting point is 00:32:51 pieces goes one to three pieces. And then that's like that's like micro dosing. And then it says three to six, which doesn't make sense because they use three for both. Yeah. No, it makes sense. It says one to three micro. Four to six. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Because then it says three to six because if you take three they can they can say oh i took three it's either a microdose or a like a trip that's okay you're actually explaining exactly why it doesn't make sense no but i'm saying because it's different for everybody and they can legally say hey you might it might be a microdose for you it might be a little bit more first of all none of this is legal second of all to counter your argument one one to three micro, three to five, like regular three to six, regular trip. And then it's at seven to 10 shamanic.
Starting point is 00:33:32 So what? Like shroomanic. Wait, did they skip six? Did they skip six? No, no, sorry. It's three to six for the middle. Okay. And then seven.
Starting point is 00:33:40 You said three to five. I was like, what happens when you take six? Six, you fucking die. Those are just a skull emoji. That's actually how I used to read a lot of Arrowid, which is like a drug journaling website, where you just go in. People who eat toad venom, right?
Starting point is 00:33:55 You lick the toad and shit. Just describing their drug experience. And what I found with, what do you call it? Corticidrin, cough, and cold. You basically eat a bunch of cold pills. And there are these different plateaus based on how much you eat. And people would always try to get to the next one.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And a lot of them would ruin their bodies and die. But they would journal it while... This is not being a Mormon merch, right? How do they journal it? Well, not the ones that die. But basically you would... That's how hard that shit... You get to a point...
Starting point is 00:34:24 They wouldn't die die but after it they'd like say yeah this was the worst experience of my life and it changed me forever and I'll never be the same and they'll explain everything that happened
Starting point is 00:34:32 after that it's really scary actually explain their ego death experience to you yeah it's that kind of shit that shit when you haven't gone through it
Starting point is 00:34:40 is so boring when someone else tells you about their ego death some of them some of them are great writers like who back in the day no i'm just saying like the people that do this oh i see they like make it it's like riveting like some of them are illiterate and i'm saying like your homie famed like he go death writer yeah that's actually having way that nick that nick also knows from his english studies right It's the same exact thing as when someone says,
Starting point is 00:35:06 like, yo, you want to hear a 30-minute story about my dream last night? That's how it feels to hear about someone's dream. It is some Mew2King tweet vibes. The only interesting story I've ever told about a dream in my entire life was the one where Miles Teller peed on me. That's the most hot one you've ever had.
Starting point is 00:35:22 It's a good dream. It's because it's concise, it gets to the point, and it had a punchline. I would love to go a week without hearing about Cutie's dream where I cheated on me. That's the most hot one you've ever had. It's a good dream. It's because it's concise. It gets to the point and it had a punchline. I would love to go a week without hearing about Cutie's dream where I cheated on her. Is that happening every week? It happens at least once every two weeks. You dog. I cheat on her or like...
Starting point is 00:35:39 Some shit always happens. You're just a piece of shit in your dream. Maybe fucking stop it. Yeah. Maybe be better. You think about that? Yeah. Be loyal.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Yeah. Anyway, I own these bars, allegedly. I am scared to consume them because of, there are people who are like, my mind has never been the same after mushrooms. And my mind is great right now. It works super well for everything I do. Imagine Ludwig becomes more compassionate. That'd be so tight.
Starting point is 00:36:02 I get like anxiety and compassion. He'd be a worse creator. Yeah, but he still already has the money from YouTube. Also, we allegedly took this
Starting point is 00:36:11 in Italy. Yeah, but it was like such a small amount. Sure. But you could do the same thing. Anyway, Shroom episode at
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah, however many. At 20k. They will haunt you. They will come for you. Are you down? Shroom episode at 15? Give me a number. 20, allegedly? Give haunt you. They will come for you. Are you down? Shroom episode at 15? Give me a number. 20, allegedly?
Starting point is 00:36:27 Give me a number. 15. The first one got demonetized, so we're going to be chill with that. Video did well. 15. 15. 15? 15,000 patrons, and these guys will allegedly and parody eat mushrooms on stream.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Sorry. And whatever. Archie can put the Mario mushroom over it as an edit, and then it makes the sound when you consume it. I think it takes a little longer to kick in. We got to eat it before the episode. I think we would just eat it and then chill and then just do a three-hour recording block
Starting point is 00:36:56 and then Godspeed. Yeah, and we show you guys some cool dinosaurs and colors. And every 20 minutes, me and Slime stand up and just stare for like 10 minutes like pranks for it like silly string this this happened kenny versus spenny where he tricked him into taking acid and it's fucked up wait what happened here kenny versus spenny it was this old show where they like do competitions and one was can you keep a squid on your head the longest and it was like a squid from like an asian market right it's a raw squid and they both put it on but what uh kenny did to his friend spencer who is always trying to game the system is he dosed
Starting point is 00:37:30 his morning orange juice with lsd and he had this whole thing planned out where he's like hey bro you should read this bro because because he dosed it right he literally showed him buying the lsd and then uh watering it down and putting his orange juice right and then he drinks it an hour later comes he's like bro i don't feel so good i feel like kind of weird and he's like why he starts getting on the computer and he's like oh they say like they're psychoactive effects like in the squid ink it's probably like seeping into your head bro and there it is this this episode scared me off of hallucinogenics. Is this Migos?
Starting point is 00:38:06 This is real. This is fucking, I implore everyone to watch this on YouTube. This looks like a screenshot from a movie. It is so terrifying because it really is him going through the terror of being on a bad drug trip, which I've been on before, where you realize that you exist and that you were born once and you haven't been born before. Things change abruptly and you get scared and this guy kenny just he'll like fool him he dressed as a bunny and then he walked around and then he went behind a corner and then he followed him and he scared him with like a demon where was this show originally on
Starting point is 00:38:37 produced by the uh south park guys matt and trey and it was in Canada. It was, yeah. Dude, that goes way harder than I think anything that could air on Comedy Central today. Brother, it was fucking crazy. And I don't know how much they were in on it or whatever, but genuinely, he has a terrible acid trip, and that is not changeable. Almost as dirty as he didn't completely drug him
Starting point is 00:39:02 without telling him, right? I don't know, but because the end of the day he had a bad time and it's really sobering to watch you're like this is how it does go it's funny i simultaneously hope it's fake and also don't yeah there's a weird middle ground there anyway that's what we'll do to you guys but the first time that i took mushrooms i walked in circles around the city for an entire day yeah and that was so that's kind of my mode when i take these in amsterdam yeah i did i did the same loop and we came around for the fourth time and i was like and i looked at the friend i was with i was like dude i think we're i think we're going in
Starting point is 00:39:38 circle that was and that's i'm just like i very, I'm very mellow the entire time. I never believed in a stage hypnotism, but at my, uh, my like senior grad night in high school, they hired a hypnotist and my friend went on the stage and got hypnotized. Uh, and he, he was someone who I like kind of knew, didn't think would like fake it up there. Yeah. Like just knowing him and he fucking fell asleep, did all that shit that you're, that you're like supposed to do with blah blah got a boner and then yeah got a boner started showing everyone was sick um and and uh he uh after grad night the next day i talked to him and uh he's
Starting point is 00:40:17 like i'm in san francisco right now and it was it was like nine hours later like this is like the next morning and i'm like what and he's like yeah i'm like why this is like the next morning. And I'm like, what? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, why? He's like, I don't know. I just, the second grad night was over. I drove here and I'm going to come back tomorrow. I had nothing to do here.
Starting point is 00:40:34 Dude. And he just went there. And I'm like, maybe this shit's fucking real. But it's been so long now where I think it's worn off again. I don't believe anymore. It is real, but it doesn't work the way it does in like uh that's why it's staged hypnotism yeah you have to like you have to accept that you're going to be hypnotized for it to work you can't like but i've heard oh they can't hypnotize me big hypno has been saying this for a long time yeah i have no way i don't have the research to
Starting point is 00:40:59 confirm that that's true that's just what i've always heard why don't we just get a hypnotist we get we hire a hypnotist and we hypnotize amen on stream on i don't think i would be open suggestion no amen oh yeah yeah it would be open yeah you would like shut it down like you would specifically be the worst hypnotist person i bet well actually so uh yeah you'd be pushing up your glasses the showing them the thing that i i've watched a bunch of uh stage hypnotism at this like uh county fair we used to have and uh and the person would do this like activation thing at the end where you tell the person who's hypnotized that like when i say this like key phrase you will do this action and then after they're awake again and like normal you can say the word still like or not uh, I don't know if it's necessarily anybody.
Starting point is 00:41:45 I think it, like, has to be, like, her, somebody with a similar voice. But she'll say the word and, like, snap. Like, she sets it up. And then they will do the thing on reaction. And you can see some of them, like, fight it for a sec and, like, be like, why the fuck do I want to do this?
Starting point is 00:42:00 And it's a really weird phenomena. But it's probably not real. It only lasts for, for like a couple weeks. Right here is the closest we've ever gotten to being Joe Rogan podcast. Talking about shrooms and hypnotists? Yeah, it is pretty close. Let's get a little closer.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Coinbase. How's it going, everybody? Coinbase.com forward slash the yard, your one-stop shop for your crypto needs. If you guys want to download it with the little website there, you get $10 in Bitcoin free. Anyway, you know, Coinbase is cool.
Starting point is 00:42:28 They've been nice. What's the code? It's Coinbase.com forward slash of the yard. Oh, that one? Yeah. It's a website. It's like a code. You get $10 in Bitcoin free.
Starting point is 00:42:36 You know, it's just how it works. 10 Bitcoin free. And you get 100 Bitcoin for free. That is 10 US dollars, depending. Several hundred thousand dollars deposited to your account for free, man. And that's not a joke. Anyway, you know, hey, our only sponsor we got chugging along these days. Hey, and we appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:42:57 So, yeah, check him out. Check him out. Appreciate it. Give him some love. You always clock right in for the ad read. I'm clocked in every day, dude. Okay, but that's the thing. No, you're not.
Starting point is 00:43:06 No, he is. But when you clock in for the podcast, I just want, I want him all to myself. I want full strength, nine psilocybin doses. No, you don't. Yes, I do. If I'm that, then this is what you do in response. Like, I'll do that.
Starting point is 00:43:22 I'll be confident. You'll be like. All right. All right, well, boys. I'll be confident. You'll be like. All right. All right. Well, boys, that's not true. That's not true. I was saying that your maximum effort. This has devolved so far.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Dude, your slime of Ludwig is better than slime's Ludwig. I went to an alleyway and I got some psilocybin. Don't point and laugh. That's so funny. As it's like gone down,'s like there's a more and more shoulder movement it's more dance move than an actual impersonation it's not even a real human being anymore do the ludwig oh my dance move now yeah you're saying that your highest level of of effort is that guy?
Starting point is 00:44:06 No, I'm saying that's, yeah. Well, that's what, when I turn on Aderead mode, sure, yeah. No, I'm just saying, I guess I'm not explaining myself properly. At what point are you, is it TikTok time? Or is it, this is mogul money. This is, I'm on. I'm on the fucking ball. Or TikTok time where you're kind of like,
Starting point is 00:44:29 morning boss and you clock in and you leave a little early. I thought I understood what he was saying. I don't anymore. What he's saying is he's like, what is the level of production you need to have the performance you put on for mogul money versus the nine to fiver of unusual memes, which is just kind of like an easy cash grab video. Versus mogul mail.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Versus mogul mail. But to be honest, I actually don't think there's that much of a difference. It's more so just what I have to work with and what I can bounce off of in mogul money. Interesting. And what I have to work with in a TikTok time is a few TikToks.
Starting point is 00:44:58 So your plus or minus of your ability, would you say is like 5%? Like at any moment you are 5% or 5% better? I would say I'm always at 120. Sometimes I just go to 150. It's over 100 all the time. We just take those down to a normal number and it actually makes sense. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Your cadence and engagement always feels pretty the same, regardless of what you're doing, when you're making a YouTube video, to be clear. Ever since this weekend, I've just been thinking about Ludwig's role in the podcast and what it means to him without asking him. And that's what I do. And next week, I'll have a really strong opinion formed about it.
Starting point is 00:45:42 And I will tell it to him. And then I'll tell it to him. And then the week after that, I'll apologize to Ludwig, and everything will be good. Oh, you want to talk about the bands? Oh, yeah, yeah. What the fuck's going on? That's what I have down there.
Starting point is 00:45:55 How could you keep getting bands react? The bands on YouTube have been rampant. I've been like, it's not actually banned. What the fuck's going on, Ludwig? So, i don't know this this became a trending news story in my home city of nashua new hampshire where i was born it was number one over the covid deaths wait for that day for that day is it like local nashua superstar yeah it's just like youtube local it was basically like youtube signs or ludwig signs
Starting point is 00:46:21 with youtube and then do immediately gets banned. Picture of you as a little kid. You're like wearing a cowboy hat, pissing on a fence. It's like, this is our guy. They must explicitly say you're from Nashua. I think it's probably in the article. I didn't read it that I'm from New Hampshire,
Starting point is 00:46:35 but anyway, it's, it's become like top posts on LSF. The two times it happened or three times or whatever. And, uh, and, and apparently created a little bit of
Starting point is 00:46:46 disturbances in the force for youtube yeah because it even got all the way up to susan susan susan was like susan whoa jack good here like did we ban the guy that we paid a shit ton of money or yeah what happened with that because it's not actually a ban but i keep phrasing it as a ban and then everyone else keeps phrasing it as a ban because I thought it was at first. But basically what happens— I mean, it says you're banned, right? It says this content has been suspended or something. And then you can't go live while the suspension is on, right?
Starting point is 00:47:14 Here's what I found out, and now I have all the knowledge because I talked to my YouTube guy, great guy. And what I found out is if I am watching something that is copywritten, a yellow warning will pop up, it'll be like boy if you don't yeah yeah it's like an alert if you don't and if i don't a message will pop up that says like stream suspended that message if i turn off the content will only be there for two minutes so you can just pop it back on it'll the stream back and then it'll go away i could end stream and restart or i could just let it run two minutes oh it'll literally go away everyone stare at the fun screen it's basically a
Starting point is 00:47:49 fun commercial break screen uh and so i i basically will now if i want to react to stuff if i see the yellow message come up have to go like full screen and make some c Co jokes or something. And I can no longer, I don't think I can do what XQC or Stans or Trainwrecks do, the three bigs of Twitch. The three. I cannot watch Hell's Kitchen. I can't watch Hell's Kitchen or MasterChef uninterrupted for like episodes in a row.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Yeah, which you never really did, I guess, which is kind of funny because it's like you i don't know does this i think someone you made a joke where you were like yeah i gotta like make better content i guess boo so this it doesn't apply to short term short form content like tiktoks or like if you're watching what if you're watching like say you're watching a windover productions youtube video so would you get flagged i don't know that's what i'm gonna i'm literally do. I'm literally going to do an unlisted stream, and I'm going to test, and I'm just going to go through shit I would watch. But a Summoning Salt video, no, it was chill.
Starting point is 00:48:52 But a Kurzgesagt video got hit, which I was surprised by. I was not so surprised by, okay, here it goes, a music video or Baby Shark or an Ariana Grande video. I'm not surprised by those. those shouldn't be surprising uh but it's more like i will just have to look at the warnings and then play around it is basically a more robust system on youtube that detects things really well and then twitch is like still like wild wild west yeah they're like we're gonna mute the vod so think about that because twitch has to be caught manually yes but youtube creates a content ids which is changing because the vod reviews are automatic on twitch so automatically record companies will go through all the vods that's for music that's for music but it can also
Starting point is 00:49:35 be for visuals oh really be for youtube videos yeah and um eventually they will have a system in place to check live stuff like almost assuredly, record companies will come for their comeuppance. You should get zipper to make you a giant button. And it's like your alarm button. It's like Metal Gear when the guards are, like, looking for you. And you hit it when the yellow thing goes up. And you have to, like, hide in a box until it's over. I think the idea is to make it seamless.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Because if you make it, like, an overt thing, then it ruins the experience. No, shame. Shame. Shame them. I should go full screen and then just chill and talk until it goes well. And hide in a box and play the music. Yeah, I like the box. And I dress up as like a YouTube cop and I'm like looking for you.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Yeah. And I'm like, ah, fuck, he's gone. Like Idubbbz content cop. Yes, it's like that. And then sometimes, sometimes like one in five times, he finds you and he shoots you with your paintball gun. But then you can strap C4 to my back and kill me. Like that's just disproportionate. And then you get a call from Susan on the codec.
Starting point is 00:50:33 What are you doing? The end result of all this is, I think if I'm surmising it is reacting is worse on YouTube, but there is no punishment like there is on twitch right yeah it's just like hey stop it fucking stop it just get a little smooch the punishment on twitch is like three times you're banned and then the punishment on youtube is here's my window it's a smooch it would be crazy if you could sign get paid and then like play baby shark three times be perma banned and they're just like, nothing we can do.
Starting point is 00:51:06 It's automatic. I don't like it any more than you. Content ID doesn't fuck around. The thing is, you know. The Baby Shark is at the head of the table. Yeah. Just slamming it with its baby fists. Speaking of guests like Susan, one of our past guests, Stavros,
Starting point is 00:51:21 from the Comptown Podcast. Dude. Dude. Did you read this? We didn't know who this was from Yeah let me read this out We had a package on our counter And it said warm wishes
Starting point is 00:51:32 And it read like this To my beloved yard house and cutie Any group of pals that's at least partially uncircumcised Is my kind of group No read how he wrote it Okay any I was like wait did he write that at least
Starting point is 00:51:47 partially and then it's uncirced yeah it is uncirced which I you know I'll translate enjoy these cookies my mom and I made as penance for telling Ludd's mom to go fuck herself but if she needs
Starting point is 00:52:03 more of an apology I'm happy to take her out to winky face merry xmas and then it is the letter s and then squiggles squiggles yeah and we didn't know who this was we thought this was fran who suddenly got our address and was making a weird joke about my mother until i found out it was Stav, which blew my mind. That Stavros was baking cookies with his mother and then did this? It's like the sweetest thing you could imagine. It's so sweet. And this is like your card from the store.
Starting point is 00:52:35 There's a snowman. There's no dick and balls. It's handwritten. It's just a nice card. It's a nice message. It's a nice gesture. And there's a lot of cookies. It's not like he's done three cookies.
Starting point is 00:52:43 And they're good. It's not like he bulk made for a bunch of people either. Like, this is how many cookies you would make if you baked with your mother. It's such an insane mix-up. It was so nice. And me, I was still sus about it. I was like, maybe he laced them. Yeah, I thought that too.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Maybe they got weed. So me and Eamon were like, trying it for slime. The backstory was that I woke up and I saw the package from him. And I was like, it it said to the yard sluts and I was like oh I'm gonna open this but I have to leave right now so I went I opened my car like while I was like about to go and I was like oh wait this is like this is for like everyone to see this yeah but I thought it was funnier if you knew if I kept the box and just put them on the counter and waited for them to be found me Me and Ludwig conducted an investigation of asking each other,
Starting point is 00:53:27 like, what's this? That's why I didn't post a tweet about it or anything either because I wanted them to find it. Yeah, that's cool. Very sweet. Thank you, Stavros. Thank you, Stav. Hearts for Stavros.
Starting point is 00:53:36 I don't care what they say. He's not really good. He's not doing that shit. I mean, he didn't come on the pod. More like Ted. Where the fuck are our cookies at, Ted? That's true. Ted sent me merch. Oh, he's shilling, Ted? That's true. Ted sent me merch.
Starting point is 00:53:45 He also sent me merch. Okay, how about some milk or something? He invited me to a Halo server, too. Really? Yeah. Wait. What? What happened when you went on the server? Oh, I said I played with them once, and they were like playing like zero gravity energy
Starting point is 00:54:01 swords in private match only. And you're like, I'm a bit busy. And I was like, I thought we were gaming. What the fuck? This is crazy. Yeah, it turns out the Minecrafters don't game. And round one, I'll say, was fun.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Round one, it was just wacky Wild West. Everyone's flying over the map. It was fun. They're like, you guys want to run it all night? I was like, holy shit,
Starting point is 00:54:19 you guys are crazy. You showed up to the kid's birthday party with your full paintball gear. You're like, pinning the tail is harder than I thought on this donkey. But I'm good. Yeah, it was tight.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Dude, so here's the thing about the React world. Do you think that... So Stan's... I watched Stan's stream today, and he's just watching Hell's Kitchen. And I'm like, Stan's, you're better than Hell's Kitchen. But if he was on you... No, he's not. And I'm like, Stans, you're better than Hell's Kitchen. But if he was on YouTube. No, he's not. No, I think he is.
Starting point is 00:54:49 I'm not better than Hell's Kitchen. When you say that, do you mean his content is better than Hell's Kitchen? Or he should be watching something better? He should be reacting to things better than Hell's Kitchen. No, no, his content is better than just watching and reacting to Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, okay. He can do better. He can do better.
Starting point is 00:55:03 But there is certainly no creator who's making better content than what Hell's Kitchen is. Okay. That's a take. I see. That is insane. No creator on Twitch? No live streamer? Hell's Kitchen beats everything that Twitch can do.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I think so. E-buy. E-buy once every fucking two months, maybe. But honestly, like, Hell's Kitchen's a fire show. You have one of the best chefs in the world who's an exuberant personality. You're telling me fucking Subway Sunday by Prezzo isn't better than Hell's Kitchen. Eat fresh. Eat fresh, bro.
Starting point is 00:55:32 It's not. Dude, okay. I am saying that I think the heat that you're getting from your new system that makes it a bit harder to be a React Andrew is kind of a good thing because it can encourage people to not just watch Hell's Kitchen for an hour or two or three or four or five. However, if people just want to watch people watch Hell's Kitchen, who am I to say anything? That's what people want to watch.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Let me tell you. When Stans gets his YouTube deal, he'll have to figure this out. X is averaging like 80K right now, I think. He boots up Hell's Kitchen. Master Chef, 110, 110 120 are you kidding me he's like it's like a 50 all right that's it wait you solved the game why is he allowed to do this because twitch is still wild wild west live streaming doesn't have like live content id systems that pick this up and then shut it down they don't have the infrastructure to say all right x you
Starting point is 00:56:22 can't watch hell's kitchen because then they have to go to everyone doing that and stop them but it's too many people. And YouTube can do it automatically. They turn everything you upload into ones and zeros and then it goes and finds those ones and zeros. Almost assuredly it will come. Like the live content moderation will come.
Starting point is 00:56:39 He's on his Papa John's or shit. The Day of Reckoning will come. The YouTube switch was a good thing for me. He's been eating a pizza every single day, bro. I've discovered one thing from this switch that kind of shocked me is how many people simp and defend and have Twitch as a huge part of their identity
Starting point is 00:56:57 and are very quick to defend Twitch in like platforms and Amazon. You're talking about as a viewer or as a streamer? Obviously both, but what are you talking about right now? I think there's still like a belief out there that Twitch is one of us. Which is crazy. Which is crazy. They are.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Well, okay. I think, again, corporate media heads have always been like, yeah, you don't get it. And that can be said for YouTube or Twitch or anyone who's running these platforms. Yeah, but I think Twitch in particular, because it's always been gaming focused focused probably gets treated a little bit differently than like a YouTube.
Starting point is 00:57:29 By the viewer base. There is this weird underlying idea that Twitch is cool in a way that a lot of other media platforms and companies are not. Discord like still has it. Yeah. Where like people are like,
Starting point is 00:57:40 yeah, Discord, that's like, that's our people. In their cutie, cutie Wumpus way. Yeah. Wumpus way. Yeah. Wumpus also agrees with the Betez sisters. Wumpus thinks that it's a good thing to do, but... Wumpus thinks they need to catch up to the First World Nations. Wumpus on drone strike.
Starting point is 00:57:59 I like how ahead of the bar we were, because we talked about how that was a problem on the fourth episode. The World Cup yeah and we were like that's kind of fucked up huh and then we like as a yard we're like yeah and then we like went off into our world and i think it's just kind of because my friend uh who's he's actually one of my favorite ludwig clips you know sup nice you know sup obviously he he was he was in ludwig's old old stream like double digit triple digit and he would give oh fuck dude he gave ludwig was closing the stream and he donated like five bits and he's like uh thank you for the five bits sup nice says fuck you thank you very much and then he closed stream and uh and that sup nice is also someone who would go into like my
Starting point is 00:58:46 chat or something and be like hey this is a really funny video that you're watching what are your thoughts on the drone bombing of yemen it's so funny that that's a long time viewer first time donator just wanted to ask you a quick question how do you feel about drone strikes and yeah yeah and it that it happened unironically in that clip, which I just think is so funny. I sent it to him. For the uninitiated, the clip is the Boatess sisters, chess players who are in Dubai for the World Chess Championship by FIDE that's happening right now.
Starting point is 00:59:13 And they just fielded a question from chat that was like, what do you have to say about the United Arab Emirates using slave labor? And they replied to it. What did they say? I didn't watch the clip. Basically, they were like, hey, you can criticize them, but this is the exact labor that made first world countries what they are today.
Starting point is 00:59:30 Plus, like, the penal labor system in America, like the prison labor system, is basically slave labor too. And it was like, great point, but you're still saying so it's okay to be slave labor.
Starting point is 00:59:40 It was weirdly saying, like, it's fine. I don't know if I would say great point. No, it's a fair point that't know if I would say great point. It's a fair point that there is slave labor happening in the US. Oh, yeah. And so we should be critical of both.
Starting point is 00:59:57 But it was more using it as a deflection of the slave labor happening in the Dubai rather than being like, let's be critical of both slavery. It's so easy to say it's wrong. It's not. It's probably not easy if you're in dubai uae also not really a developing country yeah that was another big a realistic critical point you just shouldn't feel the question you go home and then you say man they're that's crazy they use slave labor because you probably can't say it there i mean there's a lot of rules yeah yeah absolutely you can't swear there there's like a lot of rules there's like you can drink but there's like closed or like uh there's it's
Starting point is 01:00:24 really restrictive about where you can do it and that's like closed or like, uh, there's, it's really restrictive about where you can do it. And that's easing up from how it used to be because they have to like the, I think there's a lot of like rules that they have to sort of like loosen up and like grapple with if they want to become hubs for business and tourism like globally, because like these countries were so dependent on oil for so long and they need to introduce like new things to get away from that. So it's like, well, the tourists aren't going to come here if they can't get fucked up.
Starting point is 01:00:48 So we have to at least have some lenience around hiking and shit. It's the Fortnite meme. We're all like this. And it's like, is oil whack? Yeah. I was going to say, I love oil tourism. I just go to different countries and try their oil. Should we renew energy?
Starting point is 01:01:01 I was so surprised they read it. And I was like, the same day, I was like, damn, the morning paper. Because I've been calling live stream fail the morning paper. Oh, my God. Morning paper's a little spicy today. Yeah, because sometimes it has our dad in it. Yeah. Dad's in the paper sometimes.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Sometimes dad's in the paper. And then I scrolled down a bit. And then there's one. That thread with that clip had a shit ton of votes. But then there was one below it that had even more. I'm like, ooh, what's this? The Sony, a VP at Sony got caught on a Pedo Hunter livestream.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Yeah. Wearing a PS5 shirt. Wearing a PS5 shirt. Which is crazy. Oh my God. The logs are absurd. That's almost that's the pedophile's five the logs literally are and i'm not exaggerating it's like 55 year old the logs the logs are so
Starting point is 01:01:53 bad 55 year old man who works at sony being like hey you like sucking and getting sucked and then the person replying being like i am 15 and he's like damn really so which one yeah actually and that's actually the dude asked him he's like are you really 15 and then the person's like yes and then he just plows on with the conversation and it's like dude that's crazy if i may it must be tough to be a pedophile and a moron yeah you you should be crafty by trade. Oh, you know, because all those pesky pedophile geniuses we got running around. Yeah, they did LittleBigPlanet so dirty, bro. You had nothing to do with this. Bro, leave him out of it.
Starting point is 01:02:40 This is why there will never be another LittleBigPlanet. We will never get a sequel to that game. You know, the darkest part of that is like, damn, this guy has been doing this. No, exactly. That's what makes you think about, right? Because this guy has so much money and so much power in his career and shit,
Starting point is 01:02:58 and he's probably been fucking doing this for a long time. That's so fucked. Yeah, it's really dark. I didn't read it. Is he going to get arrested? Is he charged? I think he got fired. He got fucked up. Yeah, it's really dark. So is he, I didn't read it, is he gonna get like arrested? Is he charged? Fired, I don't know what happened. He got fired already.
Starting point is 01:03:08 It took like less than a day. Imagine, imagine PlayStation's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're like, we're investigating the situation. Sony, Sony like releases a statement.
Starting point is 01:03:18 They're like, we're gonna feel it out. Hey, it turns out, it turns out the text messages were actually from a 27 year old man faking being a 15 year old So he hasn't done anything So chew on that
Starting point is 01:03:28 I mean look Sony has destroyed Xbox in the wars All they need to do is not have a major Maybe it was a coup Maybe it was a plant from Microsoft An inside job Maybe it was Billion Gate And he pretended to be a boy.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Don't bring Billion Gate. And Billion, to take down Sonus, decided to do it. I really think I want to get you for Christmas just like a definition of Occam's razor. I still don't know what it is. What is that? I don't know what it is. It's when the worst thing can happen. I don't know what this is.
Starting point is 01:04:00 No, it's a different thing. All right, boys. Let's go to the next segment here because this is actually leaked, so we can talk about it now. What happened? My biggest smash tournament ever. Oh, sure. The hypothetical name. Hold.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Oh, yeah, you did leak it. You piece of shit. You leaked the name? Yeah, I leaked it. Wait, how? I leaked it on another pod. Oh, you just say it? You just said it?
Starting point is 01:04:19 On another pod? Oh, so it was a strategic leak. Yeah. It was like when Disguised Toast said that you smother baby ducks to get a boner. Whose pod? What? When you admitted that. I didn't.
Starting point is 01:04:30 No, he admitted. I like Disguised Toast's name, by the way. You did that. I never said that. I like his name. Do you know what it's from? No. I just like that it says Disguised Toast.
Starting point is 01:04:39 Yeah, it's cute. Oh! That's because that's what they would say in Hearthstone. It was a character's voice line. He would say, this guy's toast. But it sounds like, this guy's toast. I didn't know what it was from, but I realized the play on words. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 01:04:50 This is my finding out about the three legendary birds. Spanish numbers in their names. Oh, right. This is my version of that. Uno, dos, tres. Anyway, go on. That's so sick. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 01:05:01 I leaked it. Oh, that's so cool. Wow, this is crazy. Also, muck backwards. Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan. Dude, tell me you knew that. I only knew the Hitmonlee one. Oh, you knew that one.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Hey, you know about muck backwards? Yeah. Anyway. I'll see you on Penn Island, bro. I'll see you on Penn Island. So you leaked the fucking... What podcast did you leak it on, by the way? We're going to have to talk about this event.
Starting point is 01:05:29 It was on Hasan's podcast. And I leaked it. Leak it here for people who don't have it. I leaked the name. So basically, I want to make the biggest smash tournament ever in terms of prize pool and entrance for Melee and Ultimate. And the hypothetical name, and let me know, this is not locked in, obviously.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Drum roll. Is Saucon. I love it. Why is it Saucon? Guys? drum roll is SawCon. I love it. Why is it SawCon? Guys? What's the name come to? You're off the podcast. We're going to have
Starting point is 01:05:52 a lot of booths with different types of saws. It's actually celebrating the beloved movie franchise of traps and murder. We should have a saw trap there.
Starting point is 01:06:03 One scaper. Smasher will die. Yeah. We kill somebody ritualistically at sawcon every year like that's so sick like the romans did dude okay and we are gonna glaze right by that and talk about how slime has been like talking about how much he loves roman history and how he's been actually i think it's one of the funniest things you've ever done okay this is this is... This is... Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:06:26 It's so... We've already talked about this. We've talked about, like, not... We talked about this happening with other things. Weapon! Anthony will spend time, like, discrediting or shitting on something, and then fall down some multi-hour YouTube rabbit hole about it, and then think it's the coolest thing ever.
Starting point is 01:06:43 I didn't ever discredit... For those who are wondering, we all went to fucking Italy recently. Slime left early because he was like, Italy sucks and everyone here is dumb and I hate it here. We went to Florence and we went to Rome. The first part of the trip was Florence.
Starting point is 01:06:58 And on the last day, after we recorded the podcast, Anthony left. He left home early. Which I plan to do. He didn't explore Rome at all, except for like the hour we had at the train station. The only thing I explored was Aiden's body. But then fucking this week's Blues Clues episode went over Rome.
Starting point is 01:07:14 And he watched it all. And he went like, hey, Rome's kind of sick as fuck. I think it's cool now. Dude, you know what happened? He asked me. He's like, okay, yeah. Who's Remus's brother? Like testing me because I said I learned all this.
Starting point is 01:07:24 I'm like, Romulus, I went to the hill that he threw the spear on that started all of Rome. That's so sick. Really? Yes! Oh my god, we went on tours! We listened to a woman talk about this for hours! You didn't tell me that you went on this.
Starting point is 01:07:39 The tour was actually so delightful. It was a delightful tour. If we would have told you, it still wouldn't have mattered because you'd already be gone. Yeah, no shit. I don't know. It was a delightful tour. If we would have told you, it still wouldn't have mattered because you'd already be gone. Yeah. No shit. I don't know. Basically, it was funny. I would have... I don't know if I would have stayed. See, that's how much I hate traveling.
Starting point is 01:07:54 So give me a break. Fair enough. But I like Rome now, and I'm a history buff. I'm a history guy. It was cool. It was so funny hearing them talk about it at the table last night because Ludwig was regurgitating the facts back at him. But Ludwig had learned all these things by reading a Wikipedia article
Starting point is 01:08:14 about the Coliseum minutes before one of our tours. I looked at Wikipedia. Wait, did he check me minutes before? No, no, no. No, no, minutes before one of the tours. We were going on a tour. Our tour guide, there was a miscommunication, so I i thought i was gonna learn all of it and then give everyone a tour and then so i just basically consumed a bunch of knowledge why did you think that was
Starting point is 01:08:33 gonna happen no because we were we were late there was actually a world where our tour guide miscommunication we don't think our tour guide is coming up oh so he pulls up the wikipedia article and he's like i'm gonna read about rome and then on and then we didn't end up needing it tour guide is coming up oh so you're he pulls up the wikipedia article and he's like i'm gonna read about rome and then on and then we didn't end up needing it tour guide ends up showing up anyway she asks us questions like during during the things like do any of you know what's the original name of the coliseum and i would be like oh it was actually called the flavian coliseum because the flavian dynasty created it and she's like wow wow so good and we're all like he read that like 15 minutes ago so wait this is only our crew right this wasn't strangers in this group okay that's that's what threw me off
Starting point is 01:09:11 because i was imagining a bunch of like tourists from around the world and ludwig's like all right well all right how is everyone doing let's get into it no i think i retained a lot more of it because i read shit on wikipedia all the. But then also hearing it from someone else and seeing it, I was like, it was actually a really good way to learn if you can have that privilege. Dude, it's like lore, but it's like really happened. It's very cool. Rome is cool. Rome is cool. I like history now.
Starting point is 01:09:37 So in Italy, there's a few countries in Europe, Italy being one of them, where I think there's sort of this notable idea that there are certain types of like scams or like pickpockets that might happen in certain areas and things. You know, and Sweden, not one of the countries you would typically associate with this. One of the nights that I was out there, we were getting back really late to the hotel that we were staying at and everybody was like pretty drunk. And I was in the front of the cab that we were staying at and everybody was like pretty drunk and I was in the front of the cab that we had got back. And the currency they use there is like krona or like crowns, they usually say.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Krona. And the conversion is like 10 crowns is like $1, basically. Why don't they use euros? Because all the Nordic countries are like only partially in the EU. What is Nordic? Like Finland,
Starting point is 01:10:30 Sweden, Norway. Got it. And Denmark? Thank you. History buffing. And not Denmark? Only those three. Actually, maybe Denmark's Nordic, but it's not Scandinavian. Finland is not Scandinavian. I don't know, man. They use Kronerland they use kroner
Starting point is 01:10:45 that's funny hey hey i'm like don't tell us we'll look it up after ride home it's like 3 30 3 34 in the morning and uh the the meter is like going up while we drive like fucking normal right and we pull up to the hotel and i like open my eyes and i see this guy he picks up the thing that like charges the cash and it says it says like 200 200 kroner on it like with some cents or whatever the fuck their cents are he deletes it and he types in the same number but adds two zeros so it is 20 000 kroner and 59 like cents $2,000? Yes, 2,000. And this is something you can pay with your tap card, right?
Starting point is 01:11:32 Presumably, I'm going to tap my card and get out, and then that'll be the end of it. And I look at it, and I look at him, and I'm like, the ride was 20,000 crowns. And he's like, uh... And he types it all back out and then types in the correct amount again and i pay and i knew it wasn't like a mistake or a fuck up because he still added the same amount of cents on the end which is so egregious because like does the fucking five dollars matter at that point and i was so surprised i just like, damn, this is the only ride the whole weekend that we didn't take a train
Starting point is 01:12:08 or Uber where the fees fixed. And he tried to charge me $2,000 for the cab ride. I wish you got scammed. Really? You wish I got scammed? Because of the sweater you bought. What sweater did you buy? He would have deserved it.
Starting point is 01:12:21 And he knows that. Oh, that one. Anyway, that's crazy they should have gone he got greedy like two thousand croners yeah at least take a zero off or jack it up like i don't know make it yeah you're right like maybe a couple hundred more my card gets declined if i just that's what i was saying that's what that's what would have gone through your card yeah it would have yeah they know they know about it I think
Starting point is 01:12:46 that's his read on it is like oh it's like drunk tourist uh might be able to back with a Balenciaga fortnight sweatshirt yeah that's why you're a piece of shit not have my fortnight you think I'm
Starting point is 01:12:58 gonna try to scam me they're gonna be like Dan this guy's probably lower this guy looks like Hitman video game. I'm not going to do shit to him. And Stewie2k was on my flight home. Yeah, Stewie2k was on your flight.
Starting point is 01:13:12 That was kind of cool. You were telling me about that flight home, and I was like, we would lose a land to your flight. Yeah. There's like so many good counterplayers. Stewie2k fallen. No. They're all on the flight back. He hasn't seen me on Mirage, bro.
Starting point is 01:13:22 You're right. He hasn't seen you. Stewie2k has not seen you on Mirage. He will never see you on Mirage. That's not true. He could see me. He will never see me on Mirage, bro. You're right. He hasn't seen you. He has not seen you on Mirage. He will never see you on Mirage. That's not true. He could see me. He will never see you on Mirage. We be commentators.
Starting point is 01:13:30 You might cue into each other. I'm a Golden Nova Globetrotter, okay? We beat Sean Gairns. That's right. Sean Gairbs. We kind of danced on him. That's right. I think we danced on him a little bit.
Starting point is 01:13:41 If you guys want to see some old Yard lore, look up the Golden Nova Globetrotters, and we get some pretty funny clips. It's three commentators versus five of us. Yeah, it's us at a CSGO event that has a lot of really good teams at it and a lot of really good storylines, and it has more views than Grand Finals.
Starting point is 01:13:56 Yeah. Yeah, it was the most watched YouTube video of the whole event. Bad SEO. Anyway, I was going to add, okay, I need some help, fellas. What? What, Ludwig Under?
Starting point is 01:14:05 You know Christmas is coming up. Ludwig has to use his brain. Yes! Ludwig has to think! He has to think for once, dude. You did say something really funny. So Ludwig's having trouble because he needs to get presents. I told him, I was like, he told me and Amy, he's like, I got you guys jobs. And we were like, yes, sir.
Starting point is 01:14:23 Yeah, we don't care. To be clear, I'm very happy with that. But Nick was like, I got you guys jobs. And we were like, yes, sir. Yeah. We don't care. To be clear, I'm very happy with that. But Nick was like, I care. You can't get out of this. Well, I don't care about your guys' gifts. Oh. Because you'll take whatever I get you.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Yeah. Yeah. The larger concern I have is Cutie Cinderella. She is not easy. Who has been dogging me to get her a cat. Here's the thing. She's been goosing for a cat. She's so right.
Starting point is 01:14:47 I'm team cutie on this all the way. Are you? I am. Why? I back her up on this every time. Because cats are cute. Cats are cute. Ders needs a friend.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Swift is half an animal in terms of personality. It's fair. Fair. Oh, my God. That is so gross. Swift Twitter is going insane right now. I will take care of this cat some of the time that's what i don't want is because i know you she admitted to me she she told me this he doesn't so a big part of why he doesn't want to get this animal is because he knows i will spend more time with it than him and it will love me more than mudwick
Starting point is 01:15:22 bitch yeah yeah and he doesn't want that and i've kept bringing this up to him i was like that's funny and he's like no that's really why like i don't want the cat to love someone more than me which is crazy because you're not capable of love for receiving and you also yeah that's actually what i was just gonna say too is that you seemingly don't care if anyone loves you except for this i want this cat to love me and i don't want it to love amen well why don't you keep it with you all the time like carrying a little bag that'd be cute it's just gonna be look am i i told her i was like how about we just wait until we live in our separate home and then i will get a cat you know and i kind of want a dog honestly i want a dog
Starting point is 01:15:58 too i want a pit bull yeah but you wouldn't would you get one now he's hard to book i couldn't get one now because it would probably eat swift. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, so we should get one. Oh, come on. Dude, he hasn't pooped outside in like seven poops. Yeah, he poops in the kitchen every day. He's on a weird poop inside vibe right now. You know how you beat Swift?
Starting point is 01:16:16 You walk in, he barks at you, even though you live here. Pay rent, some of us. And you walk in, and he barks. You got to bark at him louder. You say, no. And he shuts up. He stops. He does stop barking, yeah. Yeah, and that barks you gotta bark at him louder you say no and you bark and he shuts up he stops
Starting point is 01:16:26 he does stop barking yeah and that's how you beat Swift but he gets more scared and then he poops in the kitchen yeah that's how I think that's why he's shitting in the kitchen
Starting point is 01:16:33 yeah you know around the time Swift started pooping in the house Slime started barking at him weird coincidence I wanna rescue a pitbull that's cute
Starting point is 01:16:41 I do too but I don't wanna look the point of getting an animal is so it loves you unconditionally more than any other thing in the world loves anything you don't want a dog that likes amon more than you i'd be okay with that as long as it liked me some i am the amon version for pets as he is to like humans if you had a pitbull and i slept in amon's bed every night if it was mine it doesn't i'd be okay the cat is not gonna sleep in my bed every
Starting point is 01:17:04 night what if it fucking wanders it's't... I'd be okay with that. The cat is not going to sleep in my bed every night. What if it fucking wanders its dirty little head to your corridors? No, because it will love Cutie the most. What you will do is you will peek over the door.
Starting point is 01:17:12 This is very simple. Who gives it food? It'll like that one a lot. Yeah, dude, he... Durr's barks at you all day because you feed him. Me and Durr's vibe. Yeah, but you feed him.
Starting point is 01:17:21 And also, I vibed with him. El? Yeah, Durr's vibes with everybody. Anyway... I hung out for Durr's for 18 hours yesterday. So how are you Elf? Ball? Durs vibes with everybody. Anyway So how are you going to handle this? It was not 18 hours I have no
Starting point is 01:17:31 I don't even think I could. He's JFK right now. I have no and nothing to say about a cat nor will I get a cat. This is not something I can discuss I don't think I will though I already got cuties kids. I'm not going to get her a cat and then have her open it in fucking
Starting point is 01:17:47 new hands. If you kill Durrs, you can get her a new cat and then you don't have to deal with having two cats. If you kill Durrs. You're the only gift I haven't got. Don't give me one. Yeah, it was funny because I was trying to... Fuck you. I'm getting you a gift. You need to get me one now.
Starting point is 01:18:04 He checked him and I was like, I can't get him. Last time I got him a book and he didn't know what book it was funny because I was trying to Fuck you, I'm getting you a gift, you need to get me one now I heat checked him and I was like, I can't get him and last time I got him a book and he didn't know what book it was He doesn't remember the book, yeah And to this moment right now, he still doesn't, which is crazy because I've only gotten him two, one of them was a libertarian coloring book No, three items
Starting point is 01:18:19 Anyway, he's just not there He's like Ludwig You guys are the same. You and me, Nick, we have so much love to give, and unfortunately, these guys don't have the receptors. It's not there. It's like you got antibodies for our love. I thought my gift was sweet.
Starting point is 01:18:40 Don't remember what it was. What I gave you? No, my gift to you. What was it? The book. Oh, the book. And the shirt. What I gave you? No, my gift to you. What was it? The book. Oh, the book. And the shirt. Who could forget that?
Starting point is 01:18:49 The coloring book. And who could forget shirt? I remember the shirt. I love the shirt. It's my favorite of shirts. You like shirt demand? I own several shirts. Sometimes I wear it.
Starting point is 01:18:57 And I wear that shirt. It's my size. I'll open the book. I'll close the book. So many pages. But not too many pages. What was your universal? How was that?
Starting point is 01:19:09 Universal. Did you have fun? Yeah. I had a good time. I basically set it up for XQC to stream. And it's a little hard to like entertain that many people, make sure everyone's having a good time. But I did the best I could.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Dinner after was great. Dude, I read a comment on LSF that was like, yeah, not even a lot of great clips got farmed from this. Like they said it as if like it was expected and i'm like man am i is it the kids who are wrong or is it me like the idea that like a stream needs to get clip farmed and and the fact that it didn't have a lot was it was a problem i think doing something that that high effort with that many people who could spend their time elsewhere is important to analyze was it successful.
Starting point is 01:19:48 Maybe he works for the paper and he wants to. I think people overvalue the importance of LSF. Sure. Comments. And comments. You're right. I think so too. I think there's like a million maybe people subscribers to the subreddit.
Starting point is 01:20:00 You cite this a lot, but it's weird because at what point do you say, oh, ignore it all because there's so many people in the minorities commenting. And at the other hand, it's like they're still commenting and people are still seeing. What I'm saying is you,
Starting point is 01:20:13 okay, my YouTube alone has like double that amount. And so catering to them is probably more fruitful than catering to a million people who are like partially interested. Most of them not even interested. I thought about this
Starting point is 01:20:24 when I was looking through our our because our clips channel for the podcast has more shorts being uploaded to it now and those get a shit ton of views and when much like tiktok when they get a lot of views they're hitting an audience that does not normally watch us or is even generally familiar with us even even you and they have more views than our episodes yeah yeah exactly and it's it's just like hitting this giant crowd of people and among that crowd is a small percentage of people who are willing to make a shitty comment because the comments on our on our shorts that like make it huge like that are fucking miserable but yeah it's funny amen every week he'll be like
Starting point is 01:21:05 fuck i just can't deal with these people man it's crazy it's it's crazy that's what i think every time i see it's like it's crazy that this person exists and typed this message and thought it was like this is how me and love will go the same because i read all those and my brain doesn't even think about it like yeah but the way i'm coping with it now is basically what you're saying is that this is such a tiny tiny percentage of the people interacting with this clip. And then again, the greater audience that consumes like this type of media altogether. And most people are normal. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:36 You know, it gets me. It's funny because like there's a spectrum where it's like, OK, on this end are people who are saying, I fucking hate that guy, if they're talking about me. Like, I fucking hate slime. And then there's people who are like, I love slime, he's great. These mean nothing to me. But it's the middle ground of people, like, making pointed thoughts about, like, I don't like slime because of this. And, like, bringing, like, an argument to the table.
Starting point is 01:22:02 And I'm like, those are the ones that, like, trigger my brain, I've realized. If it's just blind hate, I'm like, that's cool. This is because you value thought? I don't know. The first two are people who are just saying shit. Yeah, but even if it's really mean, it's like, damn, that's crazy. I think it makes sense. If someone takes the time to actually expand and, like, build their point
Starting point is 01:22:24 and then make a conclusion, then it hits harder think it makes sense if someone takes the time to actually expand and like build their point and then make a conclusion then it hits harder because then you have to confront their thought process but if somebody just makes some like weird like shitty comment then it's like well they're just a fucking moron but i also think the information they're operating with is usually incomplete so it's dumb thoughts anyway it is incomplete usually wrong right there are people be like they start with a false premise and then create an entire thesis. Slime still works for Smash Summit and it's like, oh,
Starting point is 01:22:48 we don't know anything. You like them because they do the same thing you do where they operate with very little information but make really large, poignant... And that's why you're the same. But I have a platform which makes me more dangerous. Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:01 Actually, yeah. Actually, yeah. And now we're the same I'm sorry Ouch that hurt That was the most concern he's ever shown I thought it hit him You guys saw the real slime for a second
Starting point is 01:23:15 Go away I didn't even know where it hit He needs absolute silence to get back into character I learned something very very important about slime Like three years ago. And it was that he basically explained to me that he is willing to go to any height and any length and say almost anything
Starting point is 01:23:31 about any subject and argue any point with any level of intensity. Is this about Mario Tennis? If the, no. If, if the subject matter ultimately does not matter that much. Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:46 And that he will not do these types of things for things that are more serious. What I've always disagreed with him about is that just because the subject matter doesn't matter doesn't mean that the way you talk to people doesn't make them feel the same way as you would if it did matter. Yeah. And he, I don't think, processes that part very frequently. And so he just says shit because he's like because talking about psychuno doesn't really matter that much and it's whatever or i thought that i can't believe i'm the psychopath i can't believe it actually true and when i learned this about him it made it so much easier to like deal
Starting point is 01:24:18 with when he gets really angry or loud or animated about like something like megaman like where we should go i'm like you want to get food? And he's like, no. And I'm like, why? And he's like, because you don't know where you want to go because you're weird and you're a psychopath. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go. Normally I'd be like, that makes no fucking sense. What are you saying? But now I'm just like, alright. Because I realize
Starting point is 01:24:38 that he just thinks that what we're talking about doesn't matter and he finds it more entertaining to treat that moment like that. Yeah treat i amplify any minor feeling you're the psychopath as sort of you're the psychopath as a bit however if amon comes up to me and he's like my entire family was killed in a plane crash that my father was driving the plane and i wouldn't be like dude did they sleep in their bed because he's bald spawned near their house because i'd be like i'd be like oh damn that's probably like a really complicated thing and you're going through a lot i want to
Starting point is 01:25:08 let you know i'm here for you and like let's talk about that whenever you're ready and i love you so it's about me putting it's about me putting all these things in different columns of like importance and sometimes the non-important column is important to other people, and I need to recognize that. And that's my journey as a man. I would be emotionally shattered. I know, Eamon. And he would be like, yeah. Yeah, so, like, sometimes planes don't work, and I get that. I mean.
Starting point is 01:25:38 It's unfortunate that it happened to me, but, I mean, they kind of signed up for that whole thing. It just happens to some people. I got to deal with that. And it's kind of suck, but like. And like the Wendover video said that this could like barely ever happen. And it did, which is like. He would fly the same exact plane model to the funeral and be like, well, like the plane's actually safe.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Like statistically speaking. Well, like I'm over 18 now. So like I really have no dependency on that. Oh, that's the one. Like my emotional stability isn't really dependent on my parents being involved In my life so and that's and that's his eulogy. You're still the psychopath even though. That's him. He's like, but thanks Bring it in man bring it in you support Yemen bombs On camera let's go Oh, man. Come on, man. Bring it in, man. Bring it in, man. You support Yemen Bombs. Oh, we got him!
Starting point is 01:26:26 We got him! On camera. Let's go. Thank you. Thank you, Russia, for the Ash Lantern. A thing I wanted to bring up, I have a name. I'm going to revise because I think Nick has the best... Oh, I'm sorry, class. Did the bell dismiss you or did slime dismiss you?
Starting point is 01:26:44 My bad. I actually am listening. Believe it or not, I actually am, class. Did the bell dismiss you or did slime dismiss you? I actually am listening. Believe it or not, I actually am listening. How do you think that happens, King? So Nick, I think, has the best names for all of his alts in Smash, basically. All my characters.
Starting point is 01:26:57 When he chooses the character he plays, he's got these funny nicknames. Cheeto goes hard. I came up with one. What is that? I've played this character probably like 30 minutes total in my life. Sam Moranth.
Starting point is 01:27:07 Oh, Samus? Yeah. And I'm taking that one. That one fucking rules. And I'm taking that one. That one fucking rules. Hey,
Starting point is 01:27:13 we should talk about something. Hmm? Nick is being kicked off the podcast. Let's go! I know, hey, no,
Starting point is 01:27:20 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:27:21 not yet. News to me. Okay, now celebrate. Let's go! Let's go! Wait, what, I don't know about this. We, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, what the fuck? Not yet. News to me. Okay, now celebrate. Let's go! Let's go! Wait, what? I don't know about this.
Starting point is 01:27:28 We had decided as a group that you... Yeah. Well, as not a full group, but... You know, so they decided this, and you know how they do that thing where they'll... I disagree, but they'll reach out to shake my hand. Yeah, yeah. And then I want to shake hands still. And you did it.
Starting point is 01:27:46 I did that, and I can't really go back on it. And we had our lawyers there. You support Yemen droning? Yeah. He's got morals! See, you didn't pass that test. Yeah, I think I'm okay with that. I'm okay with getting rid of that.
Starting point is 01:28:00 Why are we cutting him? So we're cutting him because, well, the simple reason is that we want to go to a Melee tournament. Yeah, Verdugo with the Aussie boys. Yeah, so we're going to be recording our bonus episode without Nick.
Starting point is 01:28:15 It's going to be tomorrow. And I have to work smash something tomorrow. So the bonus episode after this is just not going to have Nick because we've kicked him off. And his Patreon earnings is actually going to be dispersed. Well, not that part. That's right, Zipper!
Starting point is 01:28:32 Zipper's in the background. What if we do a Zipper episode where Zipper has a voice modulator and it's only his voice? I just quit my job. Zipper likes that. Hey, shut up. So yeah, we could do the Zipper modulator. We could also just have someone else on We'll figure it out
Starting point is 01:28:46 Like a temporary Animals go around We'll figure it out either way This is a juicy bonus because you won't have to listen To Nick's grating voice Have fun working this week though I'm quitting after Dude it'll be so sick when you quit, but until then, you're fired.
Starting point is 01:29:07 That's right. You're fired. I would say trend of quitting to kind of over. You know what? Before you fucking fire me, I have one more fucking thing to say to you motherfuckers.

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