The Yard - Ep. 23 - Slime vs The World
Episode Date: December 8, 2021It's December everybody! This week the boys come with a hot new theme song and a bag full of stories. Ludwig goes on a drug journey, Slime starts multiple beefs, and the boys discuss the validity of s...tage hypnotism.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
you know what i was thinking i was like you know what we can't we're kind of in a weird spot we
can't talk good shit anymore why is that because ludwig's too connected no that's every
time if we want to talk about how the betez sisters literally endorse slavery he has to go
and he has to go before the senate and he has to say hey guys look there it's like a thing and he
has to like break bread so he has to go and be like all right so i know it's confusing the horse
moves in an l shape and so they figured
this out a while ago.
I know.
We're a lot.
We are Ludwig's liability.
You are jumping
because you basically
made a monologue
on Sykuno
after never having
watched him
to now we can't
dude.
Disparate slimy.
Slime comes on the show
and he goes
yo I want to talk
about Sykuno diaper play.
And then next week he's like, we all
fucked up, huh? This is the beginning of his
Rogan arc. No, it's not.
No, it's not. White men,
they just don't have a space on
the internet anymore. And then
Netflix comes in hands in the check.
Dude, do you remember when Ethan Klein
did like a BuzzFeed
doesn't care about white people video?
I was like, like damn this has
gone a long way from pepsi max like what happened it's just a word anymore dude anyway yeah i was
thinking about that a lot it's like bloodwig has to constantly go to these people and be like
hey what what your roommate said that like where were criminals and he's got to be like ah you know all in the game
you know i think would be really nice that we did if we all if we all said sorry to austin who i
heard had his feelings hurt by slime his feelings i was actually i was bummed about that i felt bad
dude you forget like it's funny because on one side you're like damn we are humans treat us like
humans and then when i have influencer friends You're like Fucking shill Fucking robot creep
Actually created in a lab
Austin I have nothing
To apologize for
The content machine is empty
I asked if you had
A unique interest
It's really only Anthony
But I thought we could
Do it from all of us
Because it would
Be funnier on camera
I wanted to know
If he liked
A YouTube channel
That I liked
Well let him know
That you didn't want
To apologize
You turned it into
A Deez Nuts joke
But it was really funny
It was really funny.
Everyone here is just gaslighting my poor man, Eamon.
I don't believe in gaslighting.
Hey, say it.
Say it.
Say it to Austin.
Yeah, no.
Actually, I would like to say it.
So Austin has...
I've been...
Austin Show, by the way.
I've been kind of mean to that guy for a while.
That's so funny.
That sentence works with like
90% of humans. No it doesn't.
No it doesn't. But the thing is,
here's why I felt slighted.
I'm going to
Sorry, go ahead. Get your bit in.
He's like, I think I have
unfairly yelled at Aiden this time.
I would never say that. I would time. I would never say that.
I would never.
It's like him saying that.
I would never say that.
You catch me dead before I would say that word.
Those words.
You know, I think I said something a little too quick this time.
Never.
I'd like to take it back.
Perhaps I should have absorbed material before coming to a conclusion.
I am going to explain my perspective, which does not justify, nor excuse, nor
validate it. Okay?
Welcome back to the yard, everybody.
Welcome to the yard. World's longest
intro. Basically, so I went on the Batez
Austin date show.
What is it called now?
I think it's just called the Austin show. Actually,
I don't know. It was the Rothschilder.
I don't know what he calls it. Yeah, I didn't want to say that.
The Austin Shiller.
I mean, you can still call it The Rajshiller.
Oh, The Austin Shiller.
Now you're in on the joke.
That's funny, Aiden.
And so I went on that.
I'm sorry.
And so I have a prejudice against the idea of live stream content
and daily popcorn YouTube content.
And oddly enough, many of the tentacles that Ludwig touches, right?
Like all the time.
And I always have, right?
You also live stream too.
Yeah, but, well, no.
When I say live stream content,
I mean like that sort of like spoon-fed reality TV,
like live stream scene, if that makes sense,
uh,
which I don't think is a crazy concept.
And,
and I'm just initially always against it.
I always have been,
it's always kind of struck me as weird,
um,
which is,
you know,
not,
that's what,
that's,
that's my thing anyway.
So I go on that show,
I make it in the fucking gladiatorial arena of like all these unfunny people end up top
three bed.
Jay Schlatt,
me, three people with great reputation on the Fed, Jay Shlatt, me.
Three people with great reputations on the internet.
One guy-
There's fucking spotless records.
Known as being the best racist
and has not streamed in two years.
The other, terrible ousting from OTV,
now ripped and has a dog.
And then a hair criminal.
What?
What's a hair criminal?
You're bald.
I don't know the funnier way to say that.
Okay, yeah.
And so basically i was like in in this scene like a nobody and i just was like made enough
b-level jokes to get to the final three and then i got cut because i wasn't you know popular and
it was funny and then i remember after austin had said something like this guy is next up he is so
funny he's next up and i was wrongfully offended because i was like you should
already know that i'm fucking that is so fucking funny yeah because i was like so many levels i
actually don't know do we have time to break all that down austin austin should have been watching
doritos at the instant replay bad melee smash youtube for him to like you should have been watching smash summit
it also it made me feel like well of course this guy because i also have this self-deprecating
element where i'm like i'm not that funny you just don't know what funny is right and so i'll
think about it from that lens a lot and so all these elements come together it's like he's a
guy who hosts like ultimately reality shows on twitch's like, I already have this idea of this person,
and I'm like, this guy sucks.
And then he's like, bro, you're next up.
And I'm just like, all right.
And that is where it all started.
And then ever since, I've called him a shill.
I've just called him a shill.
For complimenting you.
You mean to like the only successful gay streamer.
That's not true.
Hey, hey, don't take that away from Prezzo.
Prezzo's putting fucking work in.
Prezzo's putting up numbers.
He's hitting the backboard on this tweet.
You see that clip where Prezzo made a girl version of himself
and then dragged it as a JPEG and blew himself
and then spit water all over himself.
That's art.
That was funny.
You got to scroll real far and just chat it to find that guy yeah but
that's not the point and that's the difference that's why it still makes me mad doesn't care
he doesn't go to universal with you unless you're fucking a big dog brother and i'm like i'll never
if you ask him to go to universal i bet he would and you would never yeah i also asked him lately
if he wanted to go to a basketball game or he said no so it's not it's a mooch point. No, I'm not talking about going with me.
I'm just talking about Ludwig is now in an environment where it's like
your time has to be spent so carefully and valuably
that being among the streets is just not reasonable, and that's okay.
You know what I realized about Ludwig today while I was driving?
I was thinking about this.
So Ludwig went rock climbing. I think it was yesterday.
He comes home and he's like,
I went rock climbing. I'm like, sick invite. Where the fuck was that?
He's like, I just assume until you quit your job
that you're just always busy.
I was like, okay.
Literally, the next day,
or the same night actually, he's like,
hey, so you want to record the pod early tomorrow?
I'm like, no, I work all day.
He doesn't expect me to be busy when he wants to do the podcast early but when i want
to do something he just doesn't invite me because i'm fucking busy it's really convenient how that
shit works you moron i've invited you to a lot of climbing sessions so funny because you you have
asked him the same podcast question as if it's the first time at least 10 times.
Every Monday.
At least 10 times.
And I was actually fine
with being asked every time
because sometimes
I work from home.
I was okay being asked
until I realized.
Until I realized
that it is entirely
self-serving.
I asked you so much
climbing sessions.
based on his schedule.
I feel like we are
ignoring the fact that
I ask him to more
climbing sessions
and he asks me.
Hey, hey, lay off.
Lay off Ludwig.
I don't go without you.
Hey, lay off Ludwig.
He's busy.
Hey, then you ain't been climbing enough.
I'm with you.
It was miserable, by the way.
Climbing?
I don't know.
Yeah.
Wait, why was climbing miserable?
Do you not like doing it by yourself?
He comes over here.
He says to me, he goes, dude, I was a fucking zoo animal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were like a lemur in the zoo.
I'm AirPods in,
I'm wearing a sussy among us shirt and then a Hess championship, which is like a chest
sweatshirt over it. Like super cringe merch and a love Hess though. And I'm like AirPods in
listening to like a podcast, like just busting up some walls. And like, i was just walking through and it's like this is the face oh but they don't
say anything but they don't say anything and they're just kind of gawking at me oh and then i
like the problem is every conversation is like dude you look exactly like ludwig were they what
and i was like yeah i am they're like dude what no way and you know I knew every single person
there was not like a real Ludwig fan in the sense that like they knew who I was they're a streamer
fan they've consumed content they didn't show their tattoo they're not I wouldn't even go that
far they're more like a guy like a YouTube Amogus fan in 2020 is what it felt like and so it was
like you know like I don't think any of them knew I was on YouTube or like what I was doing these
days but I was just like hey you are somewhat I I don't think any of them knew I was on YouTube or like what I was doing these days.
But I was just like, hey, you are somewhat.
I've seen you on a screen before and I was watching it.
And like, I was kind of feeling like a like a bit of a schmuck.
Hadn't showered.
I was going to shower after climbing.
And then after I climbed, they just kind of hang out and they're all good climbers.
That was a problem, too.
Dude, this is exactly the problem that like women face every day like getting
approached to the gym and like people yeah and like and like oh i gotta kind of be on yeah and
then they come up and they're like good when i leave the house oh shit you need help with your
deadlift form this is crazy and i'm like dude bro i'm all right like i'm just kind of working on my
deadlift it's like that when you completely remove the power dynamic which makes it so much easier
for ludwig that's true to
navigate yeah i guess i guess if he's like hey no i'm good i kind of just want to be left alone
they won't be like okay bitch i think like they won't think that well i thought you were ugly
anyway dude that's this is blowing my mind you're a guy stop you we're living always instead of
having sex with ludwig they'd want to be in one of his YouTube videos about climbing.
Some people were cool, too.
They were trying to get me to do this wall, and I was trying it, and I was like, I'm not good enough.
They were like V6 climbers.
Oh, okay.
I'm like, what do you want from me? This actually is the added risk of going alone, right?
Because you don't have the force field of a social interaction with one of your closer friends.
I think I don't want to go without my Nick blanket again.
Well, now you need him.
Let's go.
Now you have to call him up.
You know what we should do?
Next time someone comes up, it's like, climb that V6 right now or no picture.
What if you do a picture?
One try.
And then they go over, they spend all day on it, and we're like fucking killing them.
You use terminology.
Flash it for me.
Flash it?
Yo, you want to climb tomorrow morning?
No, I can't.
He's at work.
It's Smash Summit!
It's Smash Summit!
One way!
It's his busiest week. And this week is Smash Summit. And it's smash summit it's smash summit one way it's his busiest week and this week is
smash summit and it's gonna be a
great one
in a
similar
topic while so I
went to Sweden it's not you know
and there was a concert
I went to the fucking young lean concert
we're in line waiting to get
in and there was this guy who kind of did this double take in front of me.
And we're with one of the people I'm at the concert with is Leffen.
And Leffen, you know, here for Smash Summit, famous Smash player.
Often, ever since I've met Leffen, like for the first time we hung out,
like he gets recognized literally all the time.
And this guy does a double take at our group
and he looks behind at me and he's like are you aiming and i'm like yeah and he's like i was just
listening the fight goes the fox player he was like i was just listening to uh i was just listening
to the latest episode today like the the latest episode of the yard i was like oh yeah fuck yeah like nice to meet you his name was fuck yeah bro come here bro come here get in there yes and i asked for his
name arm wrestling and uh and we were talking he was like why are you here and i was just saying
oh yeah i'm visiting them like visiting friends and uh and i was like we're here with uh leffin
because leffin had like fallen behind he hadn't like checked in through the gate yet where if you know who leffin is too and he's like i did not i think i've heard the name like
it was this really funny situation where me and all of our friends that have all like been with
leffin for so long who's always been so much more famous than everybody and it was like finally a
moment it's like this guy doesn't even know who he is yeah and i got i got recognized first which
was super funny just the inversion of of leffffen being the most popular person at a young lean concert
yeah who has more followers he has more followers on twitter than young lean does
yeah which is also funny but it's insane to me so this is this is after the concert and you
you had talked about this later and the reason why i wanted to bring it up is he i think he must have been super
drunk or something because he was like incessantly replying to leffin uh on twitter trying to get a
like trying to get a message from me and then you said he had been messaging you as well yeah so
annoying and i just hadn't looked at my phone in a while and i i oh imagine that yeah i imagine
because i've usually i'm checking it a lot.
And I replied to him.
I'm like, yo, what's up?
Because he was just trying to see what's up after the concert.
And he's like, yeah, we're going out.
If you want to come out.
I'm like, no, sorry, dude.
We already have something planned.
And I'm probably going to go to bed pretty early.
This is the fan or Ludwig?
This is the fan.
This is the fan.
And then he's like, okay, yeah, no problem. Let me know if you want any Coke. of bed like pretty early this is the fan or ludwig uh this is the fan this is the fan and uh
and then he's like okay yeah yeah no problem let me know if you want any coke and then it all comes
together i'm like this guy is probably just coked out of his fucking mind and that's why he's sending
like 20 messages a second it's cool you can go to another country and get offered coke for this
podcast so that's before leffin that's the important thing it's not about
getting the offer for coke it's about that leffen didn't get it you tell leffen he's like dude i
used to get offered coke so much yeah they just know i don't want it so whatever yeah but it just
all like fused together it was like because he messaged me like once like normally the next day
and i'm like okay so he was just in coke mode, presumably.
That's Atriok's wet dream.
What?
To be offered drugs?
No.
Schedule two?
I am Leffen and then Atriok is Eamon.
This happened.
This exact thing happened.
Kind of.
Kind of.
Kind of.
Kind of.
You're talking about the climbing and he was like, hey, I'm a fan of the yard.
And then he went to Atriok.
He went to Atriok first.
Lowey and Atriok were like next to each other and he introduced himself to Atriok.
I'm a big fan of your streams.
Can I beef real quick with Atriok?
He always got beef with Atriok.
Oh yeah, man. It's a podcast. You might as well.
By the way, I never got to
apologize. I'm sorry, Austin.
Say it to the camera.
Don't say it to me. You say it to him.
It's just kind of funny. It got blown over
and then I was like...
I think the amount you know about planes is cool.
Yeah, we all agree on that.
To cap it off,
after all that happened,
I went and I started watching Sykuno's streams,
just raw,
and I'm like,
this is nice.
I get it.
He's fine.
Yeah.
He's a very calming voice.
Incredibly inoffensive.
But you were the one
that said all that fucked up shit.
So anyway.
Wait, I actually have a beef.
Can I air a beef with him?
With who?
I'll take it off you.
With Austin.
Oh, yeah.
I'll air my beef really quick.
Yeah, please.
The airing of Ravenses.
You got beef?
No, this is great.
This is a great way to cap an apology.
Every time this happens, Ludwig's like, oh, I gotta fucking.
We are a liability for Ludwig.
And part of that makes me happy.
But also part of it, because I'm Ludwig-pilled now, makes me sad.
I just like the idea of him stressing and feeling emotions at my hand.
You guys are all bad humans.
Continue.
Okay, so.
Again, again, roped into this.
So the night that we met him in Texas, he was talking to Aiden, and it was like they – I couldn't even – it's like how a movie describes two best friends meeting each other for the first time.
They were, like, so happy and talking to each other and, like into stuff and like i was like wow they're really they're really hitting
it off they're really like you know having a good conversation and then uh he like kind of turns and
like aid walks away to do something else and he like makes eye contact with me and he goes uh i'm
not exaggerating he goes you with like the whole ludwig thing and i was like i was like, yeah. He goes.
And then it turns away.
And I was like, what the fuck?
I'm like, what do I got to do?
I got to look like that?
That's all I got to do? You know what you got to do?
Catch third in a Rochler.
Wait, he didn't do that shit.
Or you'd be cute.
It was crazy.
Charming and cute and tall like Eamon.
I'll work on it.
Bro.
That is a bad omen.
The grill.
The grill disagrees with what you said.
The ghost of Austin
just fucking moved the grill.
Yeah, so my beef's hot.
Okay, well, my beef's gone,
but, you know.
Did he put it back?
Nah.
Dude, it like, okay.
So, Atriok,
Atriok was here this, like,
this last weekend.
And, um,
he was here for, like, a week, basically. He was here for, like, a really long time. He was supposed to come for a smaller thing? He was here this last weekend. He was here for like a week, basically.
He was here for like a really long time.
He was supposed to come for a smaller thing?
He was here for five days.
It was a smaller thing, right?
He was here for Point Crow's thing.
Point Crow.
I mixed them up.
Yeah.
Is that bad?
It's another bad trick.
They have similar profile pictures.
That's why I mixed them up.
It is equivalent to Austin saying to Nick,
are you part of the Ludwig thing?
No, it is not.
No, not at all.
If you guys don't understand that Point Crowe...
They're profile pictures.
Point Crowe consistently lives in Small Ant's shadow
and a lot of people give him grief for it.
I'm just letting you know how it is.
I didn't even know they were related.
They just have similar profile pictures.
I'm just letting you know how it is from Point Crowe's perspective.
Yeah, that's good.
You guys can tell him how he feels about it.
From his perspective, you're right.
All right. The same thing. you shouldn't feel bad about this
I'm writing
our apology for next week right now
you shouldn't feel bad
plus you're white
is he
maybe Cuban
so okay
H-Rod is staying with us and he'll just hang out in Ludwig's, like, where Ludwig usually sits in our office.
And he'll play, like, Age of Vampires.
And he was here for a while, and it's actually really fun having him around.
He's very, like, bouncy.
Yeah.
And he, like, he always jokes with you, and he's always, like, in a good mood.
And I'm like, you know what?
This is a fun guy.
I'm like, I could, I could, I like this.
And so I decided to open my heart to h rock you were there
and i and i he's oh yeah he's he's he's like about to leave the doritos he's literally i'm gonna go
shower yeah he's salty from a video game and i was like hey before you do i wanted to tell you
something and he's like what i'm like i just wanted to say that i you've been hanging out a
lot here and i'm really it makes me really happy, and I've been really enjoying your company.
It's been pretty cool, man.
I really enjoy having you around.
And he's like, what the fuck?
And he thought I was joking with him or something.
He was like, is it like a bit or something?
And I'm like, no, I'm legit telling you that it makes me feel good.
And he's like, I'm just going to go shower.
And he just leaves.
He was so rattled because this is off the back of him losing an Age of Empires match
that he was super salty about.
He gets really mad.
That you were fucking with him during.
No, I fucked with him on one, and I took that funny video,
and then it was another one that he played. Oh, this a different game okay okay it was a different one that he played he was he was
uh like out of whack because because of the loss and he just couldn't compute slimes like nice
sentiment after being like bombarded with bits and it was like he's like wait no you don't go
anywhere he's trying to spill his heart out to you yeah i stopped him from leaving i said i said
you'll leave the room until he's done.
Because he doesn't do this very often.
And then he wasn't having it.
But the thing is, we didn't know he was mad at a video game.
Because the next time he came down, I chastised him where I was like,
fuck you, man.
I tried to fucking open my heart.
And I was fucking kidding.
Like, you tried to open my heart.
You just won't let me, bro.
You won't let me in.
He's like, oh, I was just mad at a video game.
And I was like, oh, you bitch.
I could spill some dirty tea on him right now.
Wait. Wait, you have to. Wait, I have to. You I could spill some dirty tea on him right now. Wait.
Wait, you have to.
Wait, I have to.
You're going to spill dirty tea on Brando?
I know what it is.
I was going to say it.
Now, I actually can't, so Eamon, I'll let you take over.
I promise.
Wait, why can't you?
He did like a...
The audio listener's slime was pinching his nipples and screaming.
He did like beg for you to not say it.
He begged me not to say it, and I said I wouldn't, and so I won't.
But Eamon, if you were there...
That's fucking crazy. You brought it up. You brought it up. You have to say it. He begged me not to say it and I said I wouldn't and so I won't. But Eamon, if you were there. Aiden can say it.
That's fucking crazy.
You're putting him in such a crazy position.
No, he brought it up first.
I'm saying he brought it up, but now it has to be said.
Give me the dirty, dirty, dirty tea now.
It's time for the Aiden English breakfast tea moment.
Do you think he'd actually be mad?
Earl fucking Gray.
We'll cut it out if it's bad.
Whatever.
They'll be fine.
Okay, so we're downstairs.
We're hanging out outside the office,
and H-Rock is at his computer working on a thumbnail.
And we're talking outside the office,
just like joking around.
And then I think we need H-Rock for something.
So we go into the room,
and Ludwig catches what's going on on his screen,
what he's doing with the thumbnail.
I go to his thumbnail,
and I say, this would make it better
and I click on his face and I hit the delete button
and then
so we're at his computer and then Ludwig's like
Ludwig looks again and he's like wait
were you
were you moving your hairline forward
no fucking
oh no
bring up the rip bozo
gif please
no
dude okay so
he's like trying to explain himself
he's like no it's cause the angle
it's cause the angle my face is at
I just wanted to adjust it it was just a little bit
and
Ludwig and me to live here and he
immediately he immediately goes into damage control he immediately goes into damage control
he's like you can't tell anybody you can't tell me you can't talk about this on the podcast no
if you bring it up on the podcast people are gonna give me shit forever and he's just like
babbling about and the whole time I'm like crying, laughing.
It was so funny.
We caught him in the act.
I will defend him now after dragging him.
He basically like just blows up his face to be larger.
And then it cuts off his hair because his hair just like kind of sits on the top.
So he brings it down. So he brings it down.
So it's not just his bald forehead.
Yeah, because otherwise it would just be his bald forehead.
And people would say he looks bald.
And I used to all the time remove my acne from thumbnails. Just his bald forehead? Yeah, because otherwise it would just be his bald forehead, and people would say he looks bald.
And I used to all the time remove my acne from thumbnails.
I would just do a quick copy surrounding area.
That's different.
And I would remove my acne all the time.
So different.
I told Chad about it openly.
So different. But surely none of you guys are going to go to his chat and bother him,
so it's all right.
This is actually Christmas for me.
I am.
My gift to you.
My gift to slime.
Oh, yeah.
Now you also get slime.
That's it.
Oh, my heart is full.
We should have gifts for the Christmas episode that we share with each other.
I'm down.
On the episode.
On the episode.
Someone suggested it.
That's on the White Elephant.
We have to do it in New Hampshire.
Yes.
Wait.
That episode? That's the Christmas episode. What about the 29 right now? Seven. Someone suggested it in the discord. We have to do it in New Hampshire. Wait, that episode? That's the Christmas episode, yeah.
What about the 20th?
We've already said it before.
We said it. Oh. And I'll say
it again. We're going to my
hometown, my house, that
I grew up in, actually. Same one.
And my mom still lives there, and we're gonna record the
yard there. Yeah, I'm gonna find the rag he used
to bust into and crack it in half like a
clipboard. It wasn't a rag. I would just use
my clothes.
Oh.
I'm going to dip it in guac and see if
it stays in one piece when I pull it back out
like a chip. I want to see how much
cheese and veggies I can put
on it. The label says it won't
break, but I don't believe it.
He carries a lot of meat.
I called my mom about it today.
I told her.
She's excited about it.
After we booked our flight.
Yeah.
Are the flights booked?
Mine and Anthony's are.
Yeah.
I didn't book shit.
But she did say that Mrs. B, who is my best friend growing up's mom, has an extra bedroom
for you guys if you want to stay there.
For the three of us?
Uh-huh.
In one bed mrs b yeah
mrs b you were talking good on mrs b he's great yeah she makes delicious bagel sandwiches that's
not what you're talking about before that's what i was saying that's what you were talking about
mrs b is delicious sandwiches yeah i always bring up her bagel sandwiches you can go back
i feel like the context was different it was was her bagel sandwiches. She sounds great. She's great. And I would love to do that.
You, okay.
I have a question for you.
I figured this was intentional, but I was surprised by the number of people that did
not notice it.
I watched your video with the dislike counter in it.
Uh-huh.
Cool concept.
Like it a lot.
Thank you.
Bad execution.
You really should have bet.
Caroline looking really hot on that thumbnail.
I listened to the first two sentences, and I'm like, he's biting Tom Scott.
This is like a sentence.
This is bar for bar Tom Scott.
Let me close my Roman history video.
Yeah, but I was surprised by like
nobody made a comment about it at all.
The comments were literally filled with people.
When I checked it.
I didn't scroll down once.
All right, hold on.
I watched it like 30 minutes after you uploaded it.
This video won't be 100% accurate.
In fact, it'd be a miracle if it was.
And that's because the way YouTube allows you to...
No, don't play that. Go to the end.
Go to the last 10 seconds, because Eamon missed this.
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
A little earlier. 10 seconds before that.
Aiden doesn't get the entire context but forms an opinion.
One more, one more, one more.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
By the way, before the video ends,
I have to give a huge thank you to Tom Scott
who inspired this video with his video.
How many views does this video have?
Thank you very much, Tom.
Yeah, and what Zipper just showed is
Ludwig's video showing Tom Scott's channel and video.
You didn't make it another minute before commenting. You are the commenter that Scott's channel and video. You didn't make it another
minute before commenting. You are the
commenter that I despise the most. I didn't comment.
You did what I did. You literally just
commented on it. You're the same.
You did what I did with Sykuna, but you did what your
friend Ludwig and you love. I watched
four minutes of the video.
It is a four minute video.
It's three minutes, 55 seconds.
You just keep lying. I watched you explain why dislikes need to be on YouTube.
You ended the video.
I watched you get into the meat of your argument and then exited.
All I'm saying is you left before the thing happened.
And I get it.
Your retention for that video is 55%.
So you left about average leave time.
But you missed the part where I did specifically shout out Tom Scott.
You're average.
You're average and we're the same.
We can cut this.
We can cut this bit.
No, I think it's fine.
No, you wrote it on the whiteboard and everything.
Good video, though.
It's the first video to ever hit a million views in 24 hours.
It's a great video.
Wait, really?
It's a great video.
Yeah.
Wow.
Repeated it same day with the why I moved to YouTube on the second channel.
And that's why you're respected.
You give credit where credit's due.
He's sucking up.
I'll take it.
Also, weird thing.
You're so easy.
He's so easy, bro.
This made me go back to
the Tom Scott video, which I'm
surprised is still working.
And depressing. What is it? I don't know
what this is. He basically has a video that says
this video has, and it's the amount of
views it has, and it's correct, and it's
impressively correct. Like, every time you refresh it, it's
usually one-to-one. And
it's basically about how this code
that he put in to do this will break
like the mountain that he's standing in front of will fall down like the entire earth will go away
so it's a meditation on like the philosophy of like death and entropy yeah it's basically about
entropy but why you should still create things even though entropy exists yeah really it's not
just like a cute like hey i made a little that's what mine is no his is like you should have done that no i'm like all things will live and die and
significant not really significantly matter ever do you and most people who watch my videos are
not subscribed yeah that's what i'm doing you should can you start doing that can you start
in your videos so yeah for tiktok time, start slipping in dreadful existential ruminations for a minute.
Seven seconds of all the lights off and your eyes painted black and you're staring at the camera.
I'm going to answer this for you guys.
No.
Why's that?
Yeah.
Can you explain why you won't do that?
You know, just because that's not how I think.
Oh, not an artist.
I feel like you don't want to think outside the box.
That's right.
You don't think outside the bun. And box. That's right. You don't think
it's not the bun.
And Dr. K was right.
You are broken.
Yeah.
You guys want to hear
about when I got mushrooms?
When you got mushrooms?
When you got them?
On three.
One, two, three.
Yes, Ludwig.
All right.
So I was over
Hassan's house
the other day.
We ate surströmming,
which is what I was
trying to get you guys
to eat.
No, you ate that shit?
This is the herring, right?
Yeah.
I ate it.
Was it for a meme?
We fermented it or just herring?
It was the fermented, yeah.
So it's basically fermented herring.
What they do, it's a Swedish dish.
It's like 500 years old.
And it's what they would use when they go on long sailing voyages because it preserves really well.
It's just really incredibly salty fish.
Is that why he said that his house smelled bad?
Yes.
The fermentation process is terrible.
And Miskif had to eat it because he lost a bet to me,
and we opened it up at a sans.
He had no clue what this was.
He actually hates fish and seafood in general.
Sandoz?
Yeah.
So I convinced him to open this and also eat it.
And it doesn't actually taste as bad as it smells.
It smells wretched.
He likes you, bro.
He likes you for doing that.
He does, and his house smells fucking terrible now.
But while I was there, he was talking about how he has these mushroom chocolate bars with psilocybin, the active ingredient in mushrooms.
And he was talking about taking them.
I was a DD all day.
I was driving cutie homes.
I was like, I'm all set.
Imagine if you were like, a little bit.
I mean, it's like only a few miles.
Mario uses them when he drives.
He's fucking chilling.
He goes fast.
Well, let me tell you, that's coming.
Mario's coming in this story.
Wait, Super Mario?
Yes.
Okay.
So I just keep this locked in my mind,
but it reminds me that I haven't had an edible in like a month plus.
It's been a while. I just don't have any. and i was like oh i should go purchase some and this last night when
me and cutie are getting dinner i'm like hey let's stop by this place and it's called like
secret alley edibles or something like that secret alley weed just rock bottom from oh
the we won't kill you smokery yeah how would they call it that well we
walk around this plaza
that I've never like
there's a bunch of
like plazas like little
pockets that'll be like
Asian or Hispanic in LA
it's all over this is
like an Asian plaza I've
never been to it's really
cute but there are signs
all around the building
that were saying it was
like all in Chinese and
then underneath the
translation was purse
snatchers here beware
whoa I know that's hype i
was not but we were walking around for like 10 minutes couldn't find the place i end up calling
and she guides me and it literally was a secret alleyway where you have to go down it's an
unmarked wall i don't know if this is because what they're doing is illegal i was thinking
what dude are there no normal stores in california there's like
a sign that says like no road runners dude yeah she like you're on the phone she's like okay yeah
look at the ground and she opens a hatch from the pavement the first door is a painting again
seattle shit is like a genius bar dude it's the it's the opposite it's not like that here i think
it's because look and this is what i kind of pieced together. It's an unmarked building.
There's a buzzer.
You go in.
There's a first entryway with like a security guard.
He checks my ID.
And he's like, he says like this.
He's like, all right, here for your medical weed.
I'm like, sure.
Yeah, I love my medical weed.
And then a second door that I go through.
And then I'm in and it's the lady.
And she's like, so glad you found it.
People struggle.
And I'm glad you recited the correct incantation yeah and she goes through she's like okay we have ice cream weed we have these big fat doobie doobs and goes through the whole list and i'm like just
the edible please ma'am leads me to it right next to it the same chocolate bar hasan had
of mushrooms so this is illegal right? Yeah it is not yet
legal to my understanding
to purchase mushrooms
Which makes whatever Ludwig's saying parody
I'm allegedly talking about this. You've named
the business. No
I'm allegedly naming the business. No it's Purse Snatchers
Incorporated
It was Acme Weed
And the bar
has Mario riding Yoshi but Yoshi looks fucked up.
And then it says one up bar because it's mushrooms.
It's like if you could buy chocolate at Hot Topic.
He likes it.
I was going to say, this has been a Hot Topic shirt for like a hundred years.
My fucking one up silly band.
And the labels misprinted.
It goes one to three because it's a bar of chocolate with like, you know, whatever, 15
pieces goes one to three pieces.
And then that's like that's like micro dosing.
And then it says three to six, which doesn't make sense because they use three for both.
Yeah.
No, it makes sense.
It says one to three micro.
Four to six.
Yes.
Because then it says three to six
because if you take three they can they can say oh i took three it's either a microdose
or a like a trip that's okay you're actually explaining exactly why it doesn't make sense
no but i'm saying because it's different for everybody and they can legally say hey you might
it might be a microdose for you it might be a little bit more first of all none of this is
legal second of all to counter your argument one one to three micro, three to five, like regular
three to six, regular trip.
And then it's at seven to 10 shamanic.
So what?
Like shroomanic.
Wait, did they skip six?
Did they skip six?
No, no, sorry.
It's three to six for the middle.
Okay.
And then seven.
You said three to five.
I was like, what happens when you take six?
Six, you fucking die.
Those are just a skull emoji.
That's actually how I used to read a lot of Arrowid,
which is like a drug journaling website,
where you just go in.
People who eat toad venom, right?
You lick the toad and shit.
Just describing their drug experience.
And what I found with, what do you call it?
Corticidrin, cough, and cold.
You basically eat a bunch of cold pills.
And there are these different plateaus
based on how much you eat.
And people would always try to get to the next one.
And a lot of them would ruin their bodies and die.
But they would journal it while...
This is not being a Mormon merch, right?
How do they journal it?
Well, not the ones that die.
But basically you would...
That's how hard that shit...
You get to a point...
They wouldn't die die but after it
they'd like say
yeah this was the worst
experience of my life
and it changed me forever
and I'll never be the same
and they'll explain
everything that happened
after that
it's really scary actually
explain their ego death
experience to you
yeah
it's that kind of shit
that shit when
you haven't gone through it
is so boring
when someone else
tells you about
their ego death some of them
some of them are great writers like who back in the day no i'm just saying like the people that
do this oh i see they like make it it's like riveting like some of them are illiterate and
i'm saying like your homie famed like he go death writer yeah that's actually having way that nick
that nick also knows from his english studies right It's the same exact thing as when someone says,
like, yo, you want to hear a 30-minute story
about my dream last night?
That's how it feels to hear about someone's dream.
It is some Mew2King tweet vibes.
The only interesting story I've ever told
about a dream in my entire life
was the one where Miles Teller peed on me.
That's the most hot one you've ever had.
It's a good dream.
It's because it's concise, it gets to the point, and it had a punchline. I would love to go a week without hearing about Cutie's dream where I cheated on me. That's the most hot one you've ever had. It's a good dream. It's because it's concise. It gets to the point and it
had a punchline. I would love to go a week without
hearing about Cutie's dream where I cheated on her.
Is that happening every week?
It happens at least once every two weeks.
You dog. I cheat on her
or like...
Some shit always happens.
You're just a piece of shit in your dream.
Maybe fucking stop it.
Yeah.
Maybe be better.
You think about that?
Yeah.
Be loyal.
Yeah.
Anyway, I own these bars, allegedly.
I am scared to consume them because of, there are people who are like, my mind has never
been the same after mushrooms.
And my mind is great right now.
It works super well for everything I do.
Imagine Ludwig becomes more compassionate.
That'd be so tight.
I get like anxiety and compassion.
He'd be a worse creator.
Yeah, but he still
already has the money
from YouTube.
Also, we
allegedly
took this
in Italy.
Yeah, but it was like
such a small amount.
Sure.
But you could do
the same thing.
Anyway,
Shroom episode at
Yeah, however many.
At 20k.
They will haunt you.
They will come for you.
Are you down?
Shroom episode at 15? Give me a number. 20, allegedly? Give haunt you. They will come for you. Are you down? Shroom episode at 15?
Give me a number.
20, allegedly?
Give me a number.
15.
The first one got demonetized, so we're going to be chill with that.
Video did well.
15.
15.
15?
15,000 patrons, and these guys will allegedly and parody eat mushrooms on stream.
Sorry.
And whatever.
Archie can put the Mario mushroom over it as an edit,
and then it makes the sound when you consume it.
I think it takes a little longer to kick in.
We got to eat it before the episode.
I think we would just eat it and then chill
and then just do a three-hour recording block
and then Godspeed.
Yeah, and we show you guys some cool dinosaurs and colors.
And every 20 minutes, me and Slime stand up
and just stare for like 10 minutes
like pranks for it like silly string this this happened kenny versus spenny where he tricked
him into taking acid and it's fucked up wait what happened here kenny versus spenny it was this old
show where they like do competitions and one was can you keep a squid on your head the longest and
it was like a squid from like an asian market right it's a raw squid and they both put it on but what uh kenny did to his friend spencer who is always trying to game the system is he dosed
his morning orange juice with lsd and he had this whole thing planned out where he's like hey bro
you should read this bro because because he dosed it right he literally showed him buying the lsd
and then uh watering it down and putting his orange
juice right and then he drinks it an hour later comes he's like bro i don't feel so good i feel
like kind of weird and he's like why he starts getting on the computer and he's like oh they
say like they're psychoactive effects like in the squid ink it's probably like seeping into your
head bro and there it is this this episode scared me off of hallucinogenics.
Is this Migos?
This is real.
This is fucking, I implore everyone to watch this on YouTube.
This looks like a screenshot from a movie.
It is so terrifying because it really is him going through the terror of being on a bad drug trip,
which I've been on before, where you realize that you exist and that you were born once
and you haven't been born before.
Things change abruptly and you get scared and this guy kenny just he'll like fool him he dressed as a bunny and then he walked around and then he went behind a corner and
then he followed him and he scared him with like a demon where was this show originally on
produced by the uh south park guys matt and trey and it was in Canada. It was, yeah.
Dude, that goes way harder than I think anything
that could air on Comedy Central today.
Brother, it was fucking crazy.
And I don't know how much they were in on it or whatever,
but genuinely, he has a terrible acid trip,
and that is not changeable.
Almost as dirty as he didn't completely drug him
without telling him, right?
I don't know, but because the end of the
day he had a bad time and it's really sobering to watch you're like this is how it does go it's
funny i simultaneously hope it's fake and also don't yeah there's a weird middle ground there
anyway that's what we'll do to you guys but the first time that i took mushrooms i walked in
circles around the city for an entire day yeah and that was so that's kind of my mode when i take
these in amsterdam yeah i did i did the same loop and we came around for the fourth time and i was
like and i looked at the friend i was with i was like dude i think we're i think we're going in
circle that was and that's i'm just like i very, I'm very mellow the entire time.
I never believed in a stage hypnotism, but at my, uh, my like senior grad night in high
school, they hired a hypnotist and my friend went on the stage and got hypnotized.
Uh, and he, he was someone who I like kind of knew, didn't think would like fake it up
there.
Yeah.
Like just knowing him and he fucking fell asleep, did all that shit that you're, that you're like supposed to do with blah blah got a boner and then yeah got a boner started showing
everyone was sick um and and uh he uh after grad night the next day i talked to him and uh he's
like i'm in san francisco right now and it was it was like nine hours later like this is like
the next morning and i'm like what and he's like yeah i'm like why this is like the next morning. And I'm like, what?
And he's like, yeah.
I'm like, why?
He's like, I don't know.
I just, the second grad night was over.
I drove here and I'm going to come back tomorrow.
I had nothing to do here.
Dude.
And he just went there.
And I'm like, maybe this shit's fucking real.
But it's been so long now where I think it's worn off again.
I don't believe anymore.
It is real, but it doesn't work the way it does in like uh that's why it's staged hypnotism yeah you have to like you have to accept that
you're going to be hypnotized for it to work you can't like but i've heard oh they can't hypnotize
me big hypno has been saying this for a long time yeah i have no way i don't have the research to
confirm that that's true that's just what i've always heard why don't we just get a hypnotist
we get we hire a hypnotist and we hypnotize amen on stream on i don't think i would be open suggestion no amen oh yeah yeah
it would be open yeah you would like shut it down like you would specifically be the worst
hypnotist person i bet well actually so uh yeah you'd be pushing up your glasses the showing them
the thing that i i've watched a bunch of uh stage hypnotism at this like uh county fair we used to have and uh and the person would
do this like activation thing at the end where you tell the person who's hypnotized that like
when i say this like key phrase you will do this action and then after they're awake again and like
normal you can say the word still like or not uh, I don't know if it's necessarily anybody.
I think it, like, has to be, like, her,
somebody with a similar voice.
But she'll say the word and, like, snap.
Like, she sets it up.
And then they will do the thing on reaction.
And you can see some of them, like, fight it for a sec
and, like, be like,
why the fuck do I want to do this?
And it's a really weird phenomena.
But it's probably not real.
It only lasts for, for like a couple weeks.
Right here is the closest we've ever gotten
to being Joe Rogan podcast.
Talking about shrooms and hypnotists?
Yeah, it is pretty close.
Let's get a little closer.
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If you guys want to download it
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Anyway, you know, Coinbase is cool.
They've been nice.
What's the code?
It's Coinbase.com forward slash of the yard.
Oh, that one?
Yeah.
It's a website.
It's like a code.
You get $10 in Bitcoin free.
You know, it's just how it works.
10 Bitcoin free.
And you get 100 Bitcoin for free.
That is 10 US dollars, depending.
Several hundred thousand dollars deposited to your account for free, man.
And that's not a joke.
Anyway, you know, hey, our only sponsor we got chugging along these days.
Hey, and we appreciate that.
So, yeah, check him out.
Check him out.
Appreciate it.
Give him some love.
You always clock right in for the ad read.
I'm clocked in every day, dude.
Okay, but that's the thing.
No, you're not.
No, he is.
But when you clock in for the podcast,
I just want, I want him all to myself.
I want full strength, nine psilocybin doses.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
If I'm that, then this is what you do in response.
Like, I'll do that.
I'll be confident.
You'll be like.
All right. All right, well, boys. I'll be confident. You'll be like. All right.
All right.
Well, boys, that's not true.
That's not true.
I was saying that your maximum effort.
This has devolved so far.
Dude, your slime of Ludwig is better than slime's Ludwig.
I went to an alleyway and I got some psilocybin.
Don't point and laugh.
That's so funny.
As it's like gone down,'s like there's a more and more
shoulder movement it's more dance move than an actual impersonation it's not even a real human
being anymore do the ludwig oh my dance move now yeah you're saying that your highest level of of
effort is that guy?
No, I'm saying that's, yeah.
Well, that's what, when I turn on Aderead mode, sure, yeah.
No, I'm just saying, I guess I'm not explaining myself properly.
At what point are you, is it TikTok time?
Or is it, this is mogul money.
This is, I'm on.
I'm on the fucking ball.
Or TikTok time where you're kind of like,
morning boss and you clock in and you leave a little early.
I thought I understood what he was saying.
I don't anymore.
What he's saying is he's like,
what is the level of production you need to have the performance you put on for mogul money
versus the nine to fiver of unusual memes,
which is just kind of like an easy cash grab video.
Versus mogul mail.
Versus mogul mail.
But to be honest,
I actually don't think there's that much of a difference.
It's more so just what I have to work with
and what I can bounce off of in mogul money.
Interesting.
And what I have to work with in a TikTok time
is a few TikToks.
So your plus or minus of your ability,
would you say is like 5%?
Like at any moment you are 5% or 5% better?
I would say I'm always at 120.
Sometimes I just go to 150.
It's over 100 all the time.
We just take those down to a normal number and it actually makes sense.
Yeah, okay.
Your cadence and engagement always feels pretty the same,
regardless of what you're doing,
when you're making a YouTube video, to be clear.
Ever since this weekend,
I've just been thinking about Ludwig's role in the podcast
and what it means to him without asking him.
And that's what I do.
And next week, I'll have a really strong opinion formed about it.
And I will tell it to him.
And then I'll tell it to him.
And then the week after that, I'll apologize to Ludwig,
and everything will be good.
Oh, you want to talk about the bands?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What the fuck's going on?
That's what I have down there.
How could you keep getting bands react?
The bands on YouTube have been rampant.
I've been like, it's not actually banned.
What the fuck's going on, Ludwig?
So, i don't
know this this became a trending news story in my home city of nashua new hampshire where i was born
it was number one over the covid deaths wait for that day for that day is it like local nashua
superstar yeah it's just like youtube local it was basically like youtube signs or ludwig signs
with youtube and then do immediately gets banned. Picture of you as a little kid.
You're like wearing a cowboy hat,
pissing on a fence.
It's like,
this is our guy.
They must explicitly say you're from Nashua.
I think it's probably in the article.
I didn't read it that I'm from New Hampshire,
but anyway,
it's,
it's become like top posts on LSF.
The two times it happened or three times or whatever.
And,
uh,
and,
and apparently created a little bit of
disturbances in the force for youtube yeah because it even got all the way up to susan
susan susan was like susan whoa jack good here like did we ban the guy that we paid a shit ton
of money or yeah what happened with that because it's not actually a ban but i keep phrasing it
as a ban and then everyone else keeps phrasing it as a ban because I thought it was at first.
But basically what happens—
I mean, it says you're banned, right?
It says this content has been suspended or something.
And then you can't go live while the suspension is on, right?
Here's what I found out, and now I have all the knowledge
because I talked to my YouTube guy, great guy.
And what I found out is if I am watching something that is copywritten,
a yellow warning will pop up, it'll be like boy if you
don't yeah yeah it's like an alert if you don't and if i don't a message will pop up that says
like stream suspended that message if i turn off the content will only be there for two minutes
so you can just pop it back on it'll the stream back and then it'll go away i could end stream
and restart or i could just let it run two minutes oh it'll literally go away everyone stare at the fun screen it's basically a
fun commercial break screen uh and so i i basically will now if i want to react to stuff
if i see the yellow message come up have to go like full screen and make some c Co jokes or something. And I can no longer,
I don't think I can do what XQC or Stans or Trainwrecks do,
the three bigs of Twitch.
The three.
I cannot watch Hell's Kitchen.
I can't watch Hell's Kitchen or MasterChef uninterrupted
for like episodes in a row.
Yeah, which you never really did, I guess,
which is kind of funny because it's like you
i don't know does this i think someone you made a joke where you were like yeah i gotta like
make better content i guess boo so this it doesn't apply to short term short form content like tiktoks
or like if you're watching what if you're watching like say you're watching a windover productions
youtube video so would you get flagged i don't know that's what i'm gonna i'm literally do. I'm literally going to do an unlisted stream, and I'm going to test, and I'm just going
to go through shit I would watch.
But a Summoning Salt video, no, it was chill.
But a Kurzgesagt video got hit, which I was surprised by.
I was not so surprised by, okay, here it goes, a music video or Baby Shark or an Ariana Grande
video.
I'm not surprised by those. those shouldn't be surprising uh but it's more like i will just have to look at the
warnings and then play around it is basically a more robust system on youtube that detects things
really well and then twitch is like still like wild wild west yeah they're like we're gonna mute
the vod so think about that because twitch has to be caught manually yes but youtube creates a content ids which is changing because the vod reviews are automatic on twitch so automatically
record companies will go through all the vods that's for music that's for music but it can also
be for visuals oh really be for youtube videos yeah and um eventually they will have a system
in place to check live stuff like almost assuredly, record companies will come for their comeuppance.
You should get zipper to make you a giant button.
And it's like your alarm button.
It's like Metal Gear when the guards are, like, looking for you.
And you hit it when the yellow thing goes up.
And you have to, like, hide in a box until it's over.
I think the idea is to make it seamless.
Because if you make it, like, an overt thing, then it ruins the experience.
No, shame.
Shame.
Shame them.
I should go full screen and then just chill and talk until it goes well.
And hide in a box and play the music.
Yeah, I like the box.
And I dress up as like a YouTube cop and I'm like looking for you.
Yeah.
And I'm like, ah, fuck, he's gone.
Like Idubbbz content cop.
Yes, it's like that.
And then sometimes, sometimes like one in five times, he finds you and he shoots you with your paintball gun.
But then you can strap C4 to my back and kill me.
Like that's just disproportionate.
And then you get a call from Susan on the codec.
What are you doing?
The end result of all this is,
I think if I'm surmising it is reacting is worse on YouTube,
but there is no punishment like there is on twitch right yeah
it's just like hey stop it fucking stop it just get a little smooch the punishment on twitch is
like three times you're banned and then the punishment on youtube is here's my window it's
a smooch it would be crazy if you could sign get paid and then like play baby shark three times
be perma banned and they're just like, nothing we can do.
It's automatic.
I don't like it any more than you.
Content ID doesn't fuck around.
The thing is, you know.
The Baby Shark is at the head of the table.
Yeah.
Just slamming it with its baby fists.
Speaking of guests like Susan, one of our past guests, Stavros,
from the Comptown Podcast.
Dude.
Dude.
Did you read this?
We didn't know who this was from
Yeah let me read this out
We had a package on our counter
And it said warm wishes
And it read like this
To my beloved yard house and cutie
Any group of pals that's at least partially uncircumcised
Is my kind of group
No read how he wrote it
Okay any
I was like
wait did he write that at least
partially and then it's
uncirced yeah
it is uncirced
which I you know I'll translate
enjoy these cookies my mom
and I made as penance
for telling Ludd's mom to go fuck herself
but if she needs
more of an apology I'm happy to take her out
to winky face merry xmas and then it is the letter s and then squiggles squiggles yeah and we didn't
know who this was we thought this was fran who suddenly got our address and was making a weird
joke about my mother until i found out it was Stav, which blew my mind.
That Stavros was baking cookies with his mother and then did this?
It's like the sweetest thing you could imagine.
It's so sweet.
And this is like your card from the store.
There's a snowman.
There's no dick and balls.
It's handwritten.
It's just a nice card.
It's a nice message.
It's a nice gesture.
And there's a lot of cookies.
It's not like he's done three cookies.
And they're good.
It's not like he bulk made for a bunch of people either.
Like, this is how many cookies you would make if you baked with your mother.
It's such an insane mix-up.
It was so nice.
And me, I was still sus about it.
I was like, maybe he laced them.
Yeah, I thought that too.
Maybe they got weed.
So me and Eamon were like, trying it for slime.
The backstory was that I woke up and I saw the package from him.
And I was like, it it said to the yard sluts
and I was like oh I'm gonna open this but I have to leave right now so I went I opened my car like
while I was like about to go and I was like oh wait this is like this is for like everyone to
see this yeah but I thought it was funnier if you knew if I kept the box and just put them on the
counter and waited for them to be found me Me and Ludwig conducted an investigation of asking each other,
like, what's this?
That's why I didn't post a tweet about it or anything either
because I wanted them to find it.
Yeah, that's cool.
Very sweet.
Thank you, Stavros.
Thank you, Stav.
Hearts for Stavros.
I don't care what they say.
He's not really good.
He's not doing that shit.
I mean, he didn't come on the pod.
More like Ted.
Where the fuck are our cookies at, Ted?
That's true.
Ted sent me merch. Oh, he's shilling, Ted? That's true. Ted sent me merch.
He also sent me merch.
Okay, how about some
milk or something? He invited me to a Halo server, too.
Really? Yeah.
Wait. What?
What happened when you went on the server? Oh, I said I played with them
once, and they were like
playing like zero gravity energy
swords in private match only. And you're like,
I'm a bit busy. And I was like, I thought we were gaming.
What the fuck?
This is crazy.
Yeah, it turns out
the Minecrafters don't game.
And round one,
I'll say, was fun.
Round one,
it was just wacky Wild West.
Everyone's flying over the map.
It was fun.
They're like,
you guys want to run it all night?
I was like,
holy shit,
you guys are crazy.
You showed up
to the kid's birthday party
with your full paintball gear.
You're like,
pinning the tail is harder than I thought on this donkey.
But I'm good.
Yeah, it was tight.
Dude, so here's the thing about the React world.
Do you think that...
So Stan's...
I watched Stan's stream today, and he's just watching Hell's Kitchen.
And I'm like, Stan's, you're better than Hell's Kitchen.
But if he was on you... No, he's not. And I'm like, Stans, you're better than Hell's Kitchen. But if he was on YouTube.
No, he's not.
No, I think he is.
I'm not better than Hell's Kitchen.
When you say that, do you mean his content is better than Hell's Kitchen?
Or he should be watching something better?
He should be reacting to things better than Hell's Kitchen.
No, no, his content is better than just watching and reacting to Hell's Kitchen.
Yeah, okay.
He can do better.
He can do better.
But there is certainly no creator who's making better content than what Hell's Kitchen is.
Okay.
That's a take.
I see.
That is insane.
No creator on Twitch?
No live streamer?
Hell's Kitchen beats everything that Twitch can do.
I think so.
E-buy.
E-buy once every fucking two months, maybe.
But honestly, like, Hell's Kitchen's a fire show.
You have one of the best chefs in the world who's an exuberant personality.
You're telling me fucking Subway Sunday by Prezzo isn't better than Hell's Kitchen.
Eat fresh.
Eat fresh, bro.
It's not.
Dude, okay.
I am saying that I think the heat that you're getting from your new system that makes it a bit harder to be a React Andrew
is kind of a good thing because it can encourage people
to not just watch Hell's Kitchen for an hour or two or three or four or five.
However, if people just want to watch people watch Hell's Kitchen,
who am I to say anything?
That's what people want to watch.
Let me tell you.
When Stans gets his YouTube deal, he'll have to figure this out.
X is averaging like 80K right now, I think.
He boots up Hell's Kitchen.
Master Chef, 110, 110 120 are you kidding
me he's like it's like a 50 all right that's it wait you solved the game why is he allowed to do
this because twitch is still wild wild west live streaming doesn't have like live content id systems
that pick this up and then shut it down they don't have the infrastructure to say all right x you
can't watch hell's kitchen because then they have to go to everyone doing that and
stop them but it's too many people.
And YouTube can do it automatically.
They turn everything
you upload into ones and zeros and then
it goes and finds those ones and zeros. Almost
assuredly it will come. Like the
live content moderation will come.
He's on his Papa John's or shit.
The Day of Reckoning will come.
The YouTube switch was a good thing for me.
He's been eating a pizza every single day, bro.
I've discovered one thing from this switch
that kind of shocked me
is how many people simp and defend
and have Twitch as a huge part of their identity
and are very quick to defend Twitch
in like platforms and Amazon.
You're talking about as a viewer or as a streamer?
Obviously both, but what are you talking about right now?
I think there's still like a belief out there that Twitch is one of us.
Which is crazy.
Which is crazy.
They are.
Well, okay.
I think, again, corporate media heads have always been like,
yeah, you don't get it.
And that can be said for YouTube or Twitch
or anyone who's running these platforms.
Yeah, but I think Twitch in particular,
because it's always been gaming focused focused probably gets treated a little bit differently
than like a YouTube.
By the viewer base.
There is this weird underlying idea
that Twitch is cool in a way
that a lot of other media platforms
and companies are not.
Discord like still has it.
Yeah.
Where like people are like,
yeah, Discord, that's like,
that's our people.
In their cutie, cutie Wumpus way.
Yeah. Wumpus way. Yeah.
Wumpus also agrees with the Betez sisters.
Wumpus thinks that it's a good thing to do, but...
Wumpus thinks they need to catch up to the First World Nations.
Wumpus on drone strike.
I like how ahead of the bar we were,
because we talked about how that was a problem on the fourth episode. The World Cup yeah and we were like that's kind of fucked up huh and then we like as a yard
we're like yeah and then we like went off into our world and i think it's just kind of because
my friend uh who's he's actually one of my favorite ludwig clips you know sup nice you know
sup obviously he he was he was in ludwig's old old stream like double digit triple digit and he would
give oh fuck dude he gave ludwig was closing the stream and he donated like five bits and he's like
uh thank you for the five bits sup nice says fuck you thank you very much and then he closed stream
and uh and that sup nice is also someone who would go into like my
chat or something and be like hey this is a really funny video that you're watching what are your
thoughts on the drone bombing of yemen it's so funny that that's a long time viewer first time
donator just wanted to ask you a quick question how do you feel about drone strikes and yeah yeah
and it that it happened unironically in that clip, which I just think is so funny.
I sent it to him.
For the uninitiated, the clip is the Boatess sisters,
chess players who are in Dubai for the World Chess Championship
by FIDE that's happening right now.
And they just fielded a question from chat that was like,
what do you have to say about the United Arab Emirates using slave labor?
And they replied to it.
What did they say? I didn't watch the clip.
Basically, they were like, hey, you can criticize them,
but this is the exact labor
that made first world countries
what they are today.
Plus, like, the penal labor system
in America,
like the prison labor system,
is basically slave labor too.
And it was like,
great point,
but you're still saying
so it's okay to be slave labor.
It was weirdly saying,
like, it's fine.
I don't know if I would say
great point.
No, it's a fair point that't know if I would say great point.
It's a fair point that there is slave labor happening in the US.
Oh, yeah.
And so we should be critical of both.
But it was more using it as a deflection of the slave labor happening in the Dubai rather than being like, let's be critical of both slavery.
It's so easy to say it's wrong.
It's not.
It's probably not easy if you're in dubai uae also not really a developing country
yeah that was another big a realistic critical point you just shouldn't feel the question you
go home and then you say man they're that's crazy they use slave labor because you probably can't
say it there i mean there's a lot of rules yeah yeah absolutely you can't swear there there's
like a lot of rules there's like you can drink but there's like closed or like uh there's it's
really restrictive about where you can do it and that's like closed or like, uh, there's, it's really restrictive
about where you can do it.
And that's easing up from how it used to be because they have to like the, I think there's
a lot of like rules that they have to sort of like loosen up and like grapple with if
they want to become hubs for business and tourism like globally, because like these
countries were so dependent on oil for so long and they need to introduce like new things
to get away from that.
So it's like, well, the tourists aren't going to come here if they can't get fucked up.
So we have to at least have some lenience around hiking and shit.
It's the Fortnite meme.
We're all like this.
And it's like, is oil whack?
Yeah.
I was going to say, I love oil tourism.
I just go to different countries and try their oil.
Should we renew energy?
I was so surprised they read it.
And I was like, the same day, I was like, damn, the morning paper.
Because I've been calling live stream fail the morning paper.
Oh, my God.
Morning paper's a little spicy today.
Yeah, because sometimes it has our dad in it.
Yeah.
Dad's in the paper sometimes.
Sometimes dad's in the paper.
And then I scrolled down a bit.
And then there's one.
That thread with that clip had a shit ton of votes.
But then there was one below it that had even more.
I'm like, ooh, what's this?
The Sony, a VP at Sony got caught
on a Pedo Hunter livestream.
Yeah.
Wearing a PS5 shirt.
Wearing a PS5 shirt.
Which is crazy.
Oh my God.
The logs are absurd.
That's almost that's the pedophile's five
the logs literally are and i'm not exaggerating it's like 55 year old the logs the logs are so
bad 55 year old man who works at sony being like hey you like sucking and getting sucked and then
the person replying being like i am 15 and he's like damn really so which one yeah actually and that's actually the dude asked him he's like are you really 15 and then the person's like yes and then he just
plows on with the conversation and it's like dude that's crazy if i may it must be tough to be a
pedophile and a moron yeah you you should be crafty by trade.
Oh, you know, because all those pesky pedophile geniuses we got running around.
Yeah, they did LittleBigPlanet so dirty, bro.
You had nothing to do with this.
Bro, leave him out of it.
This is why there will never be another LittleBigPlanet.
We will never get a sequel to that game.
You know, the darkest part of that is like,
damn, this guy has been doing this.
No, exactly.
That's what makes you think about, right?
Because this guy has so much money
and so much power in his career and shit,
and he's probably been fucking doing this for a long time.
That's so fucked.
Yeah, it's really dark.
I didn't read it.
Is he going to get arrested? Is he charged? I think he got fired. He got fucked up. Yeah, it's really dark. So is he, I didn't read it, is he gonna get like arrested?
Is he charged?
Fired, I don't know what happened.
He got fired already.
It took like less than a day.
Imagine,
imagine PlayStation's like,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
They're like,
we're investigating the situation.
Sony,
Sony like releases a statement.
They're like,
we're gonna feel it out.
Hey, it turns out,
it turns out the text messages
were actually from a 27 year old man
faking being a 15 year old
So he hasn't done anything
So chew on that
I mean look
Sony has destroyed Xbox in the wars
All they need to do is not have a major
Maybe it was a coup
Maybe it was a plant from Microsoft
An inside job
Maybe it was Billion Gate
And he pretended to be a boy.
Don't bring Billion Gate.
And Billion, to take down Sonus, decided to do it.
I really think I want to get you for Christmas just like a definition of Occam's razor.
I still don't know what it is.
What is that?
I don't know what it is.
It's when the worst thing can happen.
I don't know what this is.
No, it's a different thing.
All right, boys.
Let's go to the next segment here because this is actually leaked, so we can talk about it now.
What happened?
My biggest smash tournament ever.
Oh, sure.
The hypothetical name.
Hold.
Oh, yeah, you did leak it.
You piece of shit.
You leaked the name?
Yeah, I leaked it.
Wait, how?
I leaked it on another pod.
Oh, you just say it?
You just said it?
On another pod?
Oh, so it was a strategic leak.
Yeah.
It was like when Disguised Toast said that you smother baby ducks to get a boner.
Whose pod?
What?
When you admitted that.
I didn't.
No, he admitted.
I like Disguised Toast's name, by the way.
You did that.
I never said that.
I like his name.
Do you know what it's from?
No.
I just like that it says Disguised Toast.
Yeah, it's cute.
Oh!
That's because that's what they would say in Hearthstone.
It was a character's voice line.
He would say, this guy's toast.
But it sounds like, this guy's toast.
I didn't know what it was from, but I realized the play on words.
I didn't know that.
This is my finding out about the three legendary birds.
Spanish numbers in their names.
Oh, right.
This is my version of that.
Uno, dos, tres.
Anyway, go on.
That's so sick.
I didn't know that.
I leaked it.
Oh, that's so cool.
Wow, this is crazy.
Also, muck backwards.
Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan.
Dude, tell me you knew that.
I only knew the Hitmonlee one.
Oh, you knew that one.
Hey, you know about muck backwards?
Yeah.
Anyway.
I'll see you on Penn Island, bro.
I'll see you on Penn Island.
So you leaked the fucking...
What podcast did you leak it on, by the way?
We're going to have to talk about this event.
It was on Hasan's podcast.
And I leaked it.
Leak it here for people who don't have it.
I leaked the name.
So basically, I want to make the biggest smash tournament ever
in terms of prize pool and entrance for Melee and Ultimate.
And the hypothetical name, and let me know,
this is not locked in, obviously.
Drum roll.
Is Saucon. I love it. Why is it Saucon? Guys? drum roll is SawCon.
I love it.
Why is it SawCon?
Guys?
What's the name come to?
You're off the podcast.
We're going to have
a lot of booths
with different types of saws.
It's actually
celebrating the beloved
movie franchise
of traps and murder.
We should have
a saw trap there.
One scaper.
Smasher will die.
Yeah.
We kill somebody ritualistically at sawcon every year like that's so sick like the romans did dude okay and we are gonna glaze
right by that and talk about how slime has been like talking about how much he loves
roman history and how he's been actually i think it's one of the funniest things you've ever done
okay this is this is... This is...
Oh, God.
It's so...
We've already talked about this.
We've talked about, like, not...
We talked about this happening with other things.
Weapon!
Anthony will spend time, like, discrediting or shitting on something,
and then fall down some multi-hour YouTube rabbit hole about it,
and then think it's the coolest thing ever.
I didn't ever discredit...
For those who are wondering,
we all went to fucking Italy recently.
Slime left early because he was like,
Italy sucks and everyone here is dumb
and I hate it here.
We went to Florence and we went to Rome.
The first part of the trip was Florence.
And on the last day,
after we recorded the podcast,
Anthony left.
He left home early.
Which I plan to do.
He didn't explore Rome at all, except for like the hour we had at the train station.
The only thing I explored was Aiden's body.
But then fucking this week's Blues Clues episode went over Rome.
And he watched it all.
And he went like, hey, Rome's kind of sick as fuck.
I think it's cool now.
Dude, you know what happened?
He asked me.
He's like, okay, yeah.
Who's Remus's brother?
Like testing me because I said I learned all this.
I'm like, Romulus, I went to the hill
that he threw the spear on that started
all of Rome.
That's so sick. Really?
Yes! Oh my god, we
went on tours! We listened to
a woman talk about this for hours!
You didn't tell me that you went on this.
The tour was actually so delightful. It was a delightful tour.
If we would have told you, it still wouldn't have mattered because you'd already be gone.
Yeah, no shit. I don't know. It was a delightful tour. If we would have told you, it still wouldn't have mattered because you'd already be gone. Yeah. No shit.
I don't know.
Basically, it was funny.
I would have...
I don't know if I would have stayed.
See, that's how much I hate traveling.
So give me a break.
Fair enough.
But I like Rome now, and I'm a history buff.
I'm a history guy.
It was cool.
It was so funny hearing them talk about it at the table last night
because Ludwig was regurgitating the facts back at him.
But Ludwig had learned all these things by reading a Wikipedia article
about the Coliseum minutes before one of our tours.
I looked at Wikipedia.
Wait, did he check me minutes before?
No, no, no.
No, no, minutes before one of the tours.
We were going on a tour.
Our tour guide, there was a miscommunication, so I i thought i was gonna learn all of it and then give everyone
a tour and then so i just basically consumed a bunch of knowledge why did you think that was
gonna happen no because we were we were late there was actually a world where our tour guide
miscommunication we don't think our tour guide is coming up oh so he pulls up the wikipedia article
and he's like i'm gonna read about rome and then on and then we didn't end up needing it tour guide is coming up oh so you're he pulls up the wikipedia article and he's like i'm gonna read about rome and then on and then we didn't end up needing it tour guide ends up showing up
anyway she asks us questions like during during the things like do any of you know what's the
original name of the coliseum and i would be like oh it was actually called the flavian coliseum
because the flavian dynasty created it and she's like wow wow so good and we're all like he read
that like 15 minutes ago so wait this is
only our crew right this wasn't strangers in this group okay that's that's what threw me off
because i was imagining a bunch of like tourists from around the world and ludwig's like all right
well all right how is everyone doing let's get into it no i think i retained a lot more of it
because i read shit on wikipedia all the. But then also hearing it from someone else and seeing it, I was like, it was actually a really good way to learn if you can have that privilege.
Dude, it's like lore, but it's like really happened.
It's very cool.
Rome is cool.
Rome is cool.
I like history now.
So in Italy, there's a few countries in Europe, Italy being one of them, where I think there's sort of this notable idea that there are certain types of like scams or like pickpockets that might happen in certain areas and things.
You know, and Sweden, not one of the countries you would typically associate with this.
One of the nights that I was out there, we were getting back really late to the hotel that we were staying at and everybody was like pretty drunk.
And I was in the front of the cab that we were staying at and everybody was like pretty drunk and I was in the front of the cab
that we had got back.
And the currency they use there
is like krona or like crowns,
they usually say.
Krona.
And the conversion is like 10 crowns
is like $1, basically.
Why don't they use euros?
Because all the Nordic countries
are like only partially in the EU.
What is Nordic?
Like Finland,
Sweden, Norway.
Got it. And Denmark?
Thank you. History buffing.
And not Denmark? Only those three.
Actually, maybe Denmark's Nordic, but it's not Scandinavian.
Finland is not Scandinavian.
I don't know, man.
They use Kronerland they use kroner
that's funny hey hey i'm like don't tell us we'll look it up after ride home it's like 3 30
3 34 in the morning and uh the the meter is like going up while we drive like fucking normal right
and we pull up to the hotel and i like open my eyes and i see this guy he picks up the thing that like charges the cash
and it says it says like 200 200 kroner on it like with some cents or whatever the fuck their
cents are he deletes it and he types in the same number but adds two zeros so it is 20 000 kroner
and 59 like cents $2,000?
Yes, 2,000.
And this is something you can pay with your tap card, right?
Presumably, I'm going to tap my card and get out,
and then that'll be the end of it.
And I look at it, and I look at him,
and I'm like, the ride was 20,000 crowns.
And he's like, uh... And he types it all back out and then types in the correct amount
again and i pay and i knew it wasn't like a mistake or a fuck up because he still added the
same amount of cents on the end which is so egregious because like does the fucking five
dollars matter at that point and i was so surprised i just like, damn, this is the only ride the whole weekend that we didn't take a train
or Uber where the fees fixed.
And he tried to charge me $2,000 for the cab ride.
I wish you got scammed.
Really?
You wish I got scammed?
Because of the sweater you bought.
What sweater did you buy?
He would have deserved it.
And he knows that.
Oh, that one.
Anyway, that's crazy
they should have gone he got greedy like two thousand croners yeah at least take a zero off
or jack it up like i don't know make it yeah you're right like maybe a couple hundred more
my card gets declined if i just that's what i was saying that's what that's what would have gone
through your card yeah it would have yeah they know
they know about it I think
that's his read on it is
like oh it's like drunk
tourist uh might be able to
back with a Balenciaga
fortnight sweatshirt yeah
that's why you're a piece
of shit not have my
fortnight you think I'm
gonna try to scam me
they're gonna be like
Dan this guy's probably
lower
this guy looks like Hitman video game.
I'm not going to do shit to him.
And Stewie2k was on my flight home.
Yeah, Stewie2k was on your flight.
That was kind of cool.
You were telling me about that flight home, and I was like, we would lose a land to your flight.
Yeah.
There's like so many good counterplayers.
Stewie2k fallen.
No.
They're all on the flight back.
He hasn't seen me on Mirage, bro.
You're right.
He hasn't seen you.
Stewie2k has not seen you on Mirage. He will never see you on Mirage. That's not true. He could see me. He will never see me on Mirage, bro. You're right. He hasn't seen you. He has not seen you on Mirage.
He will never see you on Mirage.
That's not true.
He could see me.
He will never see you on Mirage.
We be commentators.
You might cue into each other.
I'm a Golden Nova Globetrotter, okay?
We beat Sean Gairns.
That's right.
Sean Gairbs.
We kind of danced on him.
That's right.
I think we danced on him a little bit.
If you guys want to see some old Yard lore,
look up the Golden Nova Globetrotters,
and we get some pretty funny clips.
It's three commentators versus five of us.
Yeah, it's us at a CSGO event
that has a lot of really good teams at it
and a lot of really good storylines,
and it has more views than Grand Finals.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was the most watched YouTube video
of the whole event.
Bad SEO.
Anyway, I was going to add,
okay, I need some help, fellas.
What?
What, Ludwig Under?
You know Christmas is coming up.
Ludwig has to use his brain.
Yes! Ludwig has to think!
He has to think for once, dude.
You did say something really funny.
So Ludwig's having trouble because he needs to get presents.
I told him, I was like, he told me and Amy, he's like, I got you guys jobs.
And we were like, yes, sir.
Yeah, we don't care.
To be clear, I'm very happy with that. But Nick was like, I got you guys jobs. And we were like, yes, sir. Yeah. We don't care.
To be clear, I'm very happy with that.
But Nick was like, I care.
You can't get out of this.
Well, I don't care about your guys' gifts.
Oh.
Because you'll take whatever I get you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The larger concern I have is Cutie Cinderella.
She is not easy.
Who has been dogging me to get her a cat.
Here's the thing.
She's been goosing for a cat.
She's so right.
I'm team cutie on this all the way.
Are you?
I am.
Why?
I back her up on this every time.
Because cats are cute.
Cats are cute.
Ders needs a friend.
Swift is half an animal in terms of personality.
It's fair.
Fair.
Oh, my God.
That is so gross.
Swift Twitter is going insane right now. I will take care of this cat some of the time that's what i don't want is because i know you she admitted to
me she she told me this he doesn't so a big part of why he doesn't want to get this animal is
because he knows i will spend more time with it than him and it will love me more than mudwick
bitch yeah yeah and he doesn't want that and
i've kept bringing this up to him i was like that's funny and he's like no that's really why
like i don't want the cat to love someone more than me which is crazy because you're not capable
of love for receiving and you also yeah that's actually what i was just gonna say too is that
you seemingly don't care if anyone loves you except for this i want this cat to love me
and i don't want it to love amen well why don't you keep it with you all the time like carrying a little bag that'd be cute
it's just gonna be look am i i told her i was like how about we just wait until we live in our
separate home and then i will get a cat you know and i kind of want a dog honestly i want a dog
too i want a pit bull yeah but you wouldn't would you get one now he's hard to book i couldn't get
one now because it would probably eat swift. Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, so we should get one.
Oh, come on.
Dude, he hasn't pooped outside in like seven poops.
Yeah, he poops in the kitchen every day.
He's on a weird poop inside vibe right now.
You know how you beat Swift?
You walk in, he barks at you, even though you live here.
Pay rent, some of us.
And you walk in, and he barks.
You got to bark at him louder.
You say, no.
And he shuts up. He stops. He does stop barking, yeah. Yeah, and that barks you gotta bark at him louder you say no and you bark
and he shuts up
he stops
he does stop barking
yeah
and that's how you beat Swift
but he gets more scared
and then he poops in the kitchen
yeah that's how
I think that's why
he's shitting in the kitchen
yeah
you know
around the time
Swift started pooping in the house
Slime started barking at him
weird coincidence
I wanna rescue a pitbull
that's cute
I do too
but I don't wanna
look
the point of getting an
animal is so it loves you unconditionally more than any other thing in the world loves anything
you don't want a dog that likes amon more than you i'd be okay with that as long as it liked me some
i am the amon version for pets as he is to like humans if you had a pitbull and i slept in amon's
bed every night if it was mine it doesn't i'd be okay the cat is not gonna sleep in my bed every
night what if it fucking wanders it's't... I'd be okay with that. The cat is not going to sleep in my bed every night.
What if it fucking wanders its dirty little head
to your corridors?
No, because it will love
Cutie the most.
What you will do
is you will peek
over the door.
This is very simple.
Who gives it food?
It'll like that one a lot.
Yeah, dude, he...
Durr's barks at you all day
because you feed him.
Me and Durr's vibe.
Yeah, but you feed him.
And also, I vibed with him.
El?
Yeah, Durr's vibes
with everybody.
Anyway... I hung out for Durr's for 18 hours yesterday. So how are you Elf? Ball? Durs vibes with everybody. Anyway
So how are you going to handle this?
It was not 18 hours
I have no
I don't even think I could. He's JFK
right now. I have no and nothing to say
about a cat nor will I get
a cat. This is
not something I can discuss
I don't think I will though
I already got cuties kids. I'm not going to get her a cat
and then have her open it in fucking
new hands. If you kill Durrs,
you can get her a new cat and then you don't have to
deal with having two cats.
If you kill Durrs.
You're the only gift I haven't got.
Don't give me one.
Yeah, it was funny because I
was trying to... Fuck you. I'm getting you a gift. You need to get me one now.
He checked him and I was like, I can't get him. Last time I got him a book and he didn't know what book it was funny because I was trying to Fuck you, I'm getting you a gift, you need to get me one now I heat checked him and I was like, I can't get him
and last time I got him a book and he
didn't know what book it was
He doesn't remember the book, yeah
And to this moment right now, he still doesn't, which is crazy
because I've only gotten him two, one of them was a libertarian
coloring book
No, three items
Anyway, he's just not there
He's like Ludwig
You guys are the same.
You and me, Nick, we have so much love to give,
and unfortunately, these guys don't have the receptors.
It's not there.
It's like you got antibodies for our love.
I thought my gift was sweet.
Don't remember what it was.
What I gave you?
No, my gift to you.
What was it?
The book. Oh, the book. And the shirt. What I gave you? No, my gift to you. What was it? The book.
Oh, the book.
And the shirt.
Who could forget that?
The coloring book.
And who could forget shirt?
I remember the shirt.
I love the shirt.
It's my favorite of shirts.
You like shirt demand?
I own several shirts.
Sometimes I wear it.
And I wear that shirt.
It's my size.
I'll open the book.
I'll close the book.
So many pages.
But not too many pages.
What was your universal?
How was that?
Universal.
Did you have fun?
Yeah.
I had a good time.
I basically set it up for XQC to stream.
And it's a little hard to like entertain that many people,
make sure everyone's having a good time.
But I did the best I could.
Dinner after was great.
Dude,
I read a comment on LSF that was like,
yeah,
not even a lot of great clips got farmed from this. Like they said it as if like it was expected and i'm like man
am i is it the kids who are wrong or is it me like the idea that like a stream needs to get
clip farmed and and the fact that it didn't have a lot was it was a problem i think doing something
that that high effort with that many people who could spend their time elsewhere is important to analyze was it successful.
Maybe he works for the paper and he wants to.
I think people overvalue the importance of LSF.
Sure.
Comments.
And comments.
You're right.
I think so too.
I think there's like a million maybe people subscribers to the subreddit.
You cite this a lot, but it's weird because at what point do you say,
oh, ignore it all
because there's so many people
in the minorities commenting.
And at the other hand,
it's like they're still commenting
and people are still seeing.
What I'm saying is you,
okay, my YouTube alone
has like double that amount.
And so catering to them
is probably more fruitful
than catering to a million people
who are like partially interested.
Most of them not even interested.
I thought about this
when I was looking through our our because our clips channel for the
podcast has more shorts being uploaded to it now and those get a shit ton of views and when much
like tiktok when they get a lot of views they're hitting an audience that does not normally watch
us or is even generally familiar with us even even you and they have more views than our
episodes yeah yeah exactly and it's it's just like hitting this giant crowd of people and among that
crowd is a small percentage of people who are willing to make a shitty comment because the
comments on our on our shorts that like make it huge like that are fucking miserable but yeah
it's funny amen every week he'll be like
fuck i just can't deal with these people man it's crazy it's it's crazy that's what i think every
time i see it's like it's crazy that this person exists and typed this message and thought it was
like this is how me and love will go the same because i read all those and my brain doesn't
even think about it like yeah but the way i'm coping with it now is basically what you're saying
is that this is such a tiny tiny percentage of the people interacting with this clip.
And then again, the greater audience that consumes like this type of media altogether.
And most people are normal.
Yeah.
You know, it gets me.
It's funny because like there's a spectrum where it's like, OK, on this end are people who are saying, I fucking hate that guy, if they're talking about me.
Like, I fucking hate slime.
And then there's people who are like, I love slime, he's great.
These mean nothing to me.
But it's the middle ground of people, like, making pointed thoughts
about, like, I don't like slime because of this.
And, like, bringing, like, an argument to the table.
And I'm like, those are the ones that, like, trigger my brain, I've realized.
If it's just blind hate, I'm like, that's cool.
This is because you value thought?
I don't know.
The first two are people who are just saying shit.
Yeah, but even if it's really mean, it's like, damn, that's crazy.
I think it makes sense.
If someone takes the time to actually expand and, like, build their point
and then make a conclusion, then it hits harder think it makes sense if someone takes the time to actually expand and like build their point and
then make a conclusion then it hits harder because then you have to confront their thought process
but if somebody just makes some like weird like shitty comment then it's like well they're just
a fucking moron but i also think the information they're operating with is usually incomplete so
it's dumb thoughts anyway it is incomplete usually wrong right there are people be like
they start with a false premise and then create an entire thesis.
Slime still works for Smash Summit
and it's like, oh,
we don't know anything.
You like them because they do the same thing you do
where they operate with very little information
but make really large, poignant...
And that's why you're the same.
But I have a platform
which makes me more dangerous.
Yes.
Actually, yeah.
Actually, yeah.
And now we're the same
I'm sorry
Ouch that hurt
That was the most concern he's ever shown
I thought it hit him
You guys saw the real slime for a second
Go away
I didn't even know where it hit
He needs absolute silence to get back into character
I learned something very very important about slime
Like three years ago. And it
was that he basically explained
to me that he is willing to go to any height
and any length and say almost anything
about any subject and argue
any point with any level
of intensity. Is this about Mario Tennis?
If the, no.
If, if
the subject matter
ultimately does not matter that much.
Yes.
And that he will not do these types of things for things that are more serious.
What I've always disagreed with him about is that just because the subject matter doesn't matter
doesn't mean that the way you talk to people doesn't make them feel the same way as you would if it did matter.
Yeah.
And he, I don't think, processes that part very frequently.
And so he just says shit because he's like because talking about psychuno doesn't really
matter that much and it's whatever or i thought that i can't believe i'm the psychopath i can't
believe it actually true and when i learned this about him it made it so much easier to like deal
with when he gets really angry or loud or animated about like something like megaman like where we
should go i'm like you want to get food?
And he's like, no. And I'm like, why?
And he's like, because you don't know where you want to go because you're weird and you're a psychopath.
And I'm like,
okay, I'm going to go. Normally I'd be
like, that makes no fucking sense. What are you saying?
But now I'm just like, alright. Because I realize
that he just thinks that what we're talking about doesn't
matter and he finds it more entertaining
to treat that moment
like that. Yeah treat i amplify any
minor feeling you're the psychopath as sort of you're the psychopath as a bit however if amon
comes up to me and he's like my entire family was killed in a plane crash that my father was
driving the plane and i wouldn't be like dude did they sleep in their bed because he's bald
spawned near their house because i'd be like i'd be like oh damn that's probably like a really complicated thing and you're going through a lot i want to
let you know i'm here for you and like let's talk about that whenever you're ready and i love you
so it's about me putting it's about me putting all these things in different columns of like
importance and sometimes the non-important column is important to other people, and I need to recognize that. And that's my journey as a man.
I would be emotionally shattered.
I know, Eamon.
And he would be like, yeah.
Yeah, so, like, sometimes planes don't work, and I get that.
I mean.
It's unfortunate that it happened to me, but, I mean, they kind of signed up for that whole thing.
It just happens to some people.
I got to deal with that.
And it's kind of suck, but like.
And like the Wendover video said that this could like barely ever happen.
And it did, which is like.
He would fly the same exact plane model to the funeral and be like, well, like the plane's
actually safe.
Like statistically speaking.
Well, like I'm over 18 now.
So like I really have no dependency on that.
Oh, that's the one.
Like my emotional stability isn't really dependent on my parents being involved
In my life so and that's and that's his eulogy. You're still the psychopath even though. That's him. He's like, but thanks
Bring it in man bring it in you support Yemen bombs
On camera let's go Oh, man. Come on, man. Bring it in, man. Bring it in, man. You support Yemen Bombs. Oh, we got him!
We got him!
On camera.
Let's go.
Thank you.
Thank you, Russia, for the Ash Lantern.
A thing I wanted to bring up, I have a name.
I'm going to revise because I think Nick has the best... Oh, I'm sorry, class.
Did the bell dismiss you or did slime dismiss you?
My bad. I actually am listening. Believe it or not, I actually am, class. Did the bell dismiss you or did slime dismiss you?
I actually am listening.
Believe it or not,
I actually am listening.
How do you think that happens, King?
So Nick, I think,
has the best names for all of his alts in Smash, basically.
All my characters.
When he chooses the character he plays,
he's got these funny nicknames.
Cheeto goes hard.
I came up with one.
What is that?
I've played this character
probably like 30 minutes total in my life.
Sam Moranth.
Oh,
Samus?
Yeah.
And I'm taking that one.
That one fucking rules.
And I'm taking that one.
That one fucking rules.
Hey,
we should talk about something.
Hmm?
Nick is being kicked
off the podcast.
Let's go!
I know,
hey,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
not yet.
News to me.
Okay,
now celebrate.
Let's go! Let's go! Wait, what, I don't know about this. We, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, what the fuck? Not yet. News to me. Okay, now celebrate. Let's go!
Let's go!
Wait, what?
I don't know about this.
We had decided as a group that you...
Yeah.
Well, as not a full group, but...
You know, so they decided this, and you know how they do that thing where they'll...
I disagree, but they'll reach out to shake my hand.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I want to shake hands still.
And you did it.
I did that, and I can't really go back on it.
And we had our lawyers there.
You support Yemen droning?
Yeah.
He's got morals!
See, you didn't pass that test.
Yeah, I think I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with getting rid of that.
Why are we cutting him?
So we're cutting him because, well,
the simple reason is that we want to go to a
Melee tournament.
Yeah, Verdugo with the Aussie boys.
Yeah, so we're going to be recording
our bonus episode
without Nick.
It's going to be tomorrow. And I have to work smash
something tomorrow.
So the bonus episode
after this is just not going to have Nick
because we've kicked him off.
And his Patreon earnings is actually going to be dispersed.
Well, not that part.
That's right, Zipper!
Zipper's in the background.
What if we do a Zipper episode where Zipper has a voice modulator and it's only his voice?
I just quit my job.
Zipper likes that.
Hey, shut up.
So yeah, we could do the Zipper modulator.
We could also just have someone else on
We'll figure it out
Like a temporary
Animals go around
We'll figure it out either way
This is a juicy bonus because you won't have to listen
To Nick's grating voice
Have fun working this week though
I'm quitting after
Dude it'll be so sick when you quit, but until then, you're fired.
That's right.
You're fired.
I would say trend of quitting to kind of over.
You know what?
Before you fucking fire me, I have one more fucking thing to say to you motherfuckers.