The Yard - Ep. 28 - Ludwig got backstabbed by this streamer...

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

This week, the boys are fully recovered from Covid and ready to pod. The boys go over the Ninja/Poki beef, what Mizkif would look like bald, and Aiden takes mushrooms at a Thanksgiving dinner....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm ready man, let's do this. Yo, what is up? Wait, hold on, uh, sound is speeding. Hey, hold on, uh, sound is speeding. You just copied him. What's up? You did exactly what I just did. Do you always want the attention? You just want to be the guy who. Sound of speeding? You just copied him. What's up? You did exactly what I just did. Do you always want the attention? You just want to be the guy who did the sound speeding?
Starting point is 00:00:29 Can't make a house out of a hoe. I'm smoking weed. I'm smoking weed. Tell the world. I had some banger Amos cringe songs this year. It's starting to get, it's a lot. Is it still Christmas? You do a lot of Christmas songs.
Starting point is 00:00:44 I woke up Amon's cringe He sat in the corner of the office today And made up maybe five different versions But it's all to me and Amon's cringe You know why There's a place on Amon's cringe street Oh well You'll get back
Starting point is 00:01:03 Alright banter dead Welcome to the podcast. It's because you shame me for whistling. So now I sing. Yeah, that's way better. Enough for me. You're the softest hands I've ever seen. I'm going to fuck your hands.
Starting point is 00:01:19 I can't do it hard. I try to do it harder than him. He said he wants to fuck my hands with his dick. He came up here. It's like a hand job, but I You can't. He said he wants to fuck my hands with his dick. That's right. He came up here. It's like a hand job, but I'm in control. He climbed up the ladder, and then he did a yoga pose. He kind of sprawled his knees out.
Starting point is 00:01:32 I was like the Sphinx. Yeah, he was like a Sphinx, and then he just started farting for like 10 seconds. I had to say stop like eight times for it to be over. Dude. But it did nothing. There was a moment the other day where he farted and it was so long and he was like laughing the whole time i didn't break i didn't laugh but i left and i was like so impressive no i'm really glad yeah it's like we didn't even take a week off it's like we didn't even take a week off we're just right back i do
Starting point is 00:01:59 feel like we've been apart for quite a while what's up you were gonna say something about the cringe uh cacophony that's been happening. Oh, he tries to soften the blow because every five songs or so, every five songs or so, he'll make up a nice one. He'll make like a cute, like I'll start, I'll be on the edge. I'll be like,
Starting point is 00:02:17 and then he's ready to go. And then he'll just swap the song into Aimin. He'll be like, Aimin is my best friend, but he's also cringe. I'll be like, Aimee is my best friend, but he's also cringe. I'll be like, Aimee is real pogchamp. No, he's fucking cringe. And I'll just switch up on him. Sometimes they do
Starting point is 00:02:33 a nice move for real. Actually, if you get arrested in Iran for journalism, that's what they do to you. They put you in a fucking gulag hole and they sing cringe songs about you, but sometimes they make you, they're like, and you're a good journalist. That's actually the new gulag hole and they sing cringe songs but sometimes they make you they're like and you're a good journalist and that's actually the new gulag in call of duty is they do that yeah that was uh one of the torture scenes in argo uh welcome back to the yard episode number
Starting point is 00:02:55 uh 28 28 wow barely legal episode 28 very legal you can can kinda you can fuck who everybody everybody you want yeah you can fuck any episode aged podcast episode of age it's three years away from when Jerry Seinfeld
Starting point is 00:03:13 was dating an 18 year old three episodes away was it? it was 17 right? I thought it was like 40 something wasn't it all Jer Bear on that
Starting point is 00:03:20 17 train? I don't think he was 31 I think he was like I don't you know what I don't know I don't want Jerry on my ass I remember this being bad let's steer clear if we're gonna dunk on someone today. It's got to be Nation dare all right, so what the fuck my question there's drama going on right now
Starting point is 00:03:40 They do you so you had you juiced up. I know nothing about it You went you went and just fucking, you're like, juice me, baby, juice me. See, I thought I knew, but this shit is updating by the minute. That's right.
Starting point is 00:03:51 So my question is, Ludwig, this podcast is going to come out, audio on Wednesdays, video on Thursdays, and it's going to be extremely dated. Yeah, no one cares. How do we make this interesting
Starting point is 00:03:59 to talk about right now? Predictions? I don't think there are many predictions. I think the dust has settled, but I think you know what is perennial? Dunking on Ninja. You know what the perennium is?
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yes, I do. And he's like one of those. Rude. Do you guys know what that is? No. I thought we were talking about the perennial nerve. The perennium is the scientific term used by doctors and science for the gooch.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Whoa. Or taint. Yeah, no, I got there. Or grundle. And you're saying Ninja is the taint of Twitch streams. I am. Hey, I don't want to dog my number two, right? I don't like punching down is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:04:40 Sure, yeah. What was he? You know how you're number six on like that earnings list that came out or whatever? What was Ninja on that? I don't remember. He was not anywhere of note.
Starting point is 00:04:50 He was not top ten. I don't think he was top twenty. Hey, it's not a competition, number one. I just say my finger hurt when I was scrolling.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I was just like, does the scroll work? I can't even see it. You have, okay, remember your old video that I've actually returned to because I've been playing Kingdom
Starting point is 00:05:04 Hearts where you do the whole lore in one minute? One minute recap? You have one minute to recap the drama. Okay. And if you go over, I'm going to fucking not even. And Nick, at the end, you need to re-surmise it because you don't know any of the drama. Yeah, you have to retain the knowledge. And if you go over a minute, I'm going to break something that you enjoy.
Starting point is 00:05:20 That's right. If I get it under a minute, I am going to break something you enjoy. No, it's only if I don't. Well, what does he get if he wins? Yeah, what do I get if I win? A smooch?
Starting point is 00:05:29 What about a smooch? The reward of having explained it to your close friend. I'll smooch you. I want both of you to smooch me on my cheek. I won't do that.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I'll officiate. Yes, you will. I'll officiate this. HR says you will. All right. And Stopwatch is going now. So Pokimane
Starting point is 00:05:44 got a hate raid from a streamer known as Jideon, who's a new streamer, and he sent his viewers over, said L plus ratio. He got banned for 14 days because of this, because you can't do that. After he got banned, he changed his profile picture to Poki without the makeup. He talked a lot more shit, did a lot more tomfoolery,
Starting point is 00:05:58 got perma-banned. A lot of shit came out. During that, though, however, Ninja was defending Jideon, and in his defense, he was like, I'm going to try to get you unbanned. I'll text my partner manager. Pokey's like, that's weird. Why would you do that?
Starting point is 00:06:10 Why would you go out of your way to defend him? You're the big shot of the platform. Jess, Ninja's wife, messages Pokey, says he didn't do that. Pokey's like, here's the clip of him saying it. Ninja messages Pokey saying, I swear in my grandfather's life, I did not do that. Pokey's like, okay, I don't fucking care. You just messaged me that you do that. Pokey's like, okay, I don't fucking care. You just messaged me that you did that. Then, after Pokey leaked all this on stream,
Starting point is 00:06:28 they send a message to Pokey saying you better lawyer up, asshole, because we are gonna sue you for defamation basically is the context of that. Judeon has since apologized. That saga has ended. It is now the Dunk Ninja saga, and that's where we stand today. One in time. Well done.
Starting point is 00:06:44 He has earned one smooch. Yeah, I'll give the smooch. But what I'm confused about is... Is there a video? Of what? She said that there's a clip. There's a literal clip of him on stream going, Yeah, okay, text your manager.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Yeah, I'll text my manager. What's your name again? Okay. All right, I sent the text, guys. I sent the text. Wait, so he is saying, on God, I did not do the thing in the clip. On his dead-ass grandfather. He says, on my
Starting point is 00:07:10 grandfather, who has just recently passed away. Those are the words that he uses. We got this from Pokey showing us her phone at the camera with the DM from Ninja. It's damning. It's pretty crazy. And then he says, you made a big mistake. Yeah, you're making a big mistake. It's pretty crazy. And then he says, you made a big mistake.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Yeah, you're making a big mistake. It's a three-message line, and he said, it's crazy. Was he hitting crack rock? I don't understand. How can you say any of those things? He's cringe. So I think what we've discovered is he faked sending a message live. That's what he has to claim because there was video of him texting,
Starting point is 00:07:42 so he has to be like, I actually didn't do it. the claim because there was video of him like texting so he has to be like i actually didn't do suing for threatening to sue for defamation when you're this famous is never not funny to me because you will never win i took so many classes on that threatening to sue for defamation after trying to get people to floss at new year's eve like the judge brings it up. Like, sir, how far down do you think you can go? I'd love a prosecution exhibit, eh? Your Honor, I'd like to bring
Starting point is 00:08:14 Sonny V2 to the stand. He's just fucking depressed. So yeah, he did this one, and then goes behind with the arms. Oh, there it is. Oh my god. Yeah, that's the drama. That is so fucking stupid. What sucks about this is Ninja, you got your 50 mil.
Starting point is 00:08:32 You could just never do anything ever again. You could just do anything with your life. You don't have to participate in this at all. If I had that money, I would never click the stop screen. And this is nothing compared to when Ninja killed that kid. True. No, that's not compared to that, because he was kinda, at the end of the day, he was just like, look, I mean, he
Starting point is 00:08:51 was snarling at me like a dog. Yeah, and he was saying that Chug Chug is OP and that we should bring back the double shoddy meta, and that's something that's death worthy, if you ask me. I can't believe he wants double pump back. Yeah, I think.
Starting point is 00:09:06 And that's what Pokey's upset about. It shows how you can reach insane levels of success and still just be a dumb c***. Yeah, or ultimately. He's the past, by the way. This is a big lesson in that the money never really gives you what you really need. Money didn't change me.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I'm still dumb as f***. I stayed dumb as fuck. It's not about being dumb as fuck. It's about having this like sucking, disgusting, dirty pit in your heart that never goes away that money just doesn't fix. And that's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:09:34 You think that of everyone all the time. But that's true. He's right. He's right. Yeah, but my pit's full. Yeah, your pit's always been full though. Because if you get the 50 mil, if you get the 50 mil,
Starting point is 00:09:43 why are you playing Final Fantasy in League when you could just put it all in the S&P and you could go travel the world? And these are my aspirations that I'm putting on another man. Yeah. I just imagined the S&P, but like survival multiplayer as an index fund.
Starting point is 00:09:57 The Dream S&P? That index fund pops off. I take my 401k money out and I put it in that shit. Are they, is Ninja handling most of this privately and Pokey most of it publicly? Ninja
Starting point is 00:10:09 was saying all this very publicly. He dealt with none of it privately. It was all through Jess. It was all through his wife. No, but he sent a DM to Pokey main. He did send it a little after. Isn't like the easy... Maybe I'm confused. Isn't the easy response to just be like, oh, I can see how you thought I did this. Well, here's the proof that I didn't. Isn't like the easy, maybe I'm confused. Maybe, isn't the easy response to just be like,
Starting point is 00:10:25 oh, I can see how you thought I did this. Well, here's the proof that I didn't. Can't you just do that? Ninja, you mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:31 I, well, I think so. What happened originally is Jess was like confusing. It was a miscommunication where like, Pokey's like,
Starting point is 00:10:38 okay, I saw the clip of this happening and just like, oh, he never sent the message ever. And like, she's talking on his behalf, which is just weird.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Uh-huh. Yeah. And she sent a reply that was like, hey, how about you let your boy put up his dukes let's see what he's got in the ring when we were talking about this in the gym i was like that's how you know jess is a day one yeah so best case that's how you know she's the one best case scenario for for uh old ninja bears is that he actually didn't send it, but they just handled it like weirdos. Yes. And Pokey just assumed he sent it based on his actions,
Starting point is 00:11:10 which makes a lot of sense. And that's the situation, and it'll just fizzle out and die. Yeah, and the only reason it's so fun is because of the message that Pokey leaked. Yeah. Which, by the way, I'm going to say it. Okay. Fuck Pokey.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Whoa. I am against Pokey. Okay, fuck pokey. Whoa. I am whoa against pokey Situation what do I listen the the face of mobile me up male? I don't know what to think right now pokey Dm me this is worse than when she was dealing ketamine the children so true Pokey DM me with a screenshot of the message. She eventually posted on Twitter of the you're gonna get sued We're coming for defamation, we're coming for 30 cent, whatever. And I replied with this
Starting point is 00:11:50 screenshot of the lawyer, me and her, being lawyers, sitting down. Zipper, can you pull up her tweet real quick? She one-to-one jacks my joke and tweets it out. And she doesn't ask? She doesn't ask. She just jacks. Streamers are lazy and unfunny.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I know this because I was on the Austin show, and I had to deal with it firsthand, me and Stav back-to-back with machine guns. He was on a dating show. That's it. That's so funny. And so, of course she's going to take it, bro. None of you guys fucking ever thought up something funny in your goddamn life. It was me.
Starting point is 00:12:21 It was me, the humor. I want likes. It is funny though because you sent it to her but the screenshot is just a tweet that someone else tweeted. Well yeah. So you stole that. Yeah. Wait. You did? No way. It was a meme.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Go back. Go back. Go back. You're like saying you can't post a meme. The meme is the guy and it says damn bro I'm going to jail. These are my lawyers. Yeah but you didn't like you just found that from whoever else tweeted. I searched it up. I get it. It's like a one year old.
Starting point is 00:12:51 I get it. You're mad at her for using the meme. You sent her that you didn't make. He he has a little more claim to it. It was an applicable meme. I think he's right. I have the tightest memes. I think he's right.
Starting point is 00:13:03 I lifted that from. That's what that's a name. You lifted me. That's a name I have the tightest memes. I think he's right. I lifted that from Amon. You lifted me. You lifted me. That's an Amon lift. Wait a minute. That's actually my tweet. Because I was going to say, I was going to say, this is just high level Khalid responding to the Genesis post.
Starting point is 00:13:16 It's different. The theme here is that as soon as you levy the threat of a lawyer, you are the asshole in this situation. No, you better lawyer up, lawyer, you are the asshole in this situation. No, you better lawyer up, asshole. You are the asshole who's lawyering up. Because I'd cut in for 20%. What the hell? Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Oh, hey. Come on. Look at this hole. That is gross. Show the camera now. What's wrong with the hole? It's such a huge hole. It's a giant hole in his sock.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Come on, man. You're just trying to get us off the topic. I'm just getting rowdy. I think the consistency in these situations is, I think as soon as you want to bring legal counsel into something where the solution was probably just to say, like Ninja wins in this situation by saying to Pokey, hey, I just wanted uh placate the fans
Starting point is 00:14:07 who were bugging me about this i didn't actually send the text uh just wanted you to know that i'm saying and then oh oh it's great situation diffused it kind of seems like one of those things where like maybe your wife's instinct is to like defend you really fast maybe she already doesn't like i don't know and then when there becomes drama there or anyone says anything negative to her he feels the need to like be more aggressive or defensive in this situation i don't know it makes no sense to me that it was handled this way i think if you if you replace them like dead ass you replace them as like instead of a gamer influencer and is like gamer brawless wife
Starting point is 00:14:45 yeah you instead replace them as youth pastors it makes way more sense i know he's right they're just as cringe and as lame and as socially inept and as stupid and as worthless yeah this kind of this kind of plays out to me like uh like camp counselors like fighting over a clipboard like no that's the clipboard that was in my locker and I need it for the game of tennis that I'm taking these kids to play. And I'm like, I don't care about any of it. I just want to play games at camp. That's right.
Starting point is 00:15:13 And Pokey is also a camp counselor? No, both of them are the counselors and their problem doesn't matter to me. I'm just a kid and I don't want to play soccer. And your life is a nightmare. And Eamon's cringe. And it's not fair. Yes, no, maybe. That was the hot kid i want to play soccer and your life is a nightmare yeah and amen is cringe and amen is cringe and it's not fair okay yes no maybe that was the hot tea but tell us please tell me about how was it oh you want to hear how was dating me in malkova it's pretty it's pretty look i'm not
Starting point is 00:15:37 gonna sit and rehash my meltdown in the kitchen where i went up to cutie and i was like good please tell me please tell me that other people try. Because people on that show, you know how I get, man. When something's not funny, I get really frustrated. Especially when there's people who have this opportunity and they've sort of gained this traction and this understanding that, oh, they're the person to watch. And then you just, they're just not funny.
Starting point is 00:16:01 And it's like, why? What happened here? What happened? Why do we care about someone who's not trying? And I get it. Maybe they don't want to be on the goddamn show. Maybe they're like, oh, do it. It's favorite Austin, whatever.
Starting point is 00:16:11 I went on the show because Austin asked me, and I was like, oh, I'm breaking bread. We're cool now. I like that. And I had a lot of fun. It was me and Stav, Shaq, and Kobe fucking putting up 30 points each for that game. It was crazy.
Starting point is 00:16:22 When Stav said he wanted to hang out with your mom? That was hard. That was hard. That was funny. Yeah. It was crazy. When Stoff said he wanted to hang out with your mom? That was hard. That was funny. He made it really, really fun because there was one other. Also, Jack Manifold. He's pretty funny. I can't believe that you thought that. Not that Jack isn't funny. I was just surprised you were so enthralled
Starting point is 00:16:40 with him. He just, I don't know. Accent goes away. It's a little different. True. I would say that there is a layer of cleverness and quippiness that he had that I with him he he just i don't know accent goes away it's a little different true the accent but no i would say that there is a layer of like cleverness and quippiness that he had that i really respected and i picked up right away he seemed in that he seemed invested i think it washes the jockeyness away when he has an accent he becomes more charming and clever if that tiktok guy who was like hey actually what's your body count if that guy had a british accent yeah he's totally funny imagine a train tiktok guy doesn't have an accent which is weird oh yeah then people just
Starting point is 00:17:12 like try to get him arrested yeah you gotta stop hanging around trains yeah they don't get out of amtrak when you pulled out the picture of david chong i laughed so hard and i knew i knew it was gonna whiff yeah but i was just like this one's for the boys and and that's the best part that dude i straight up i was just like watching watching uh watching lover host i was just like i there's certain people they aren't very funny and i'm like oh that's someone who i'm deciding his content sucks based on them being on the show and not being funny. But when S-Fan called Dave and Chog Cheech and Chong, I was like, I don't like him as a person now. Because the words are the same.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Don't you get it? Look, you shouldn't say that. Because that's how these fucking streamers think, bro. It's like, oh, it's like Cheech and Chong because you said the two words that are the same. And I replied. I was like, yeah, it's like that. Yeah, dude, I could see it in your tone of voice. You were just like
Starting point is 00:18:05 if you gotta feel he streams about 200 hours a month hey i get it bottom of the barrel dude i dead ass i was thinking that every single time i'm like they stream a lot they they're just trying to fill they're trying to fill it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine that they're not funny but you don't have to say anything when someone else is talking that's the problem that is also the s fan he's not filling s fan is literally that. He's not filling. He's interjecting. I think it's partially... With a bullshit comment. Like Adderall King. I don't know. Look, no
Starting point is 00:18:31 hard feelings, but I feel like how hard is it to try at all times? And maybe it's not about trying. Maybe it's just about being live all the time and sometimes you hit 1% out of 99 tries. Whatever. But I... Ultimately, I'm happy. I walked away from that feeling like I did good all the time and like sometimes you hit one percent out of 99 tries whatever but i ultimately i'm happy i i walked away from that feeling like i did good for the world because i tried hard and
Starting point is 00:18:51 i had a good success rate with bits and me and stav could bounce real real good i like you dipping your toes a little more in twitch world yeah i a dead ass i austin messaged me and we we buried the hatchet i love that because i was I was like, hey, I'm sorry. Like, I think I was really rude to you and that wasn't fair. And he was like, I'm sorry I said you had potential. I couldn't tell if he was like being smarmy at me. But either way, I was like, look, that's not something I should be mad at. That's my own thing.
Starting point is 00:19:20 And you did nothing wrong. That also had a 50-50 chance of just setting you back off. I've seen you do that before where you're like, oh, never mind. It's fucked up again. Because you know what? If you needed to get a shot in, I'm okay with that. Let's keep diving in the Twitch world. We can start a little beef, fellas.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Oh, with who? Wait, hold on. Dad, are you sure? Oh, look, Jadion, look, I don't think he started this beef for Cloud, but boy, did he get it. That's true. Trend's trending on Twitter. You got 50K followers, okay? That's how it works. You got to get known so you get big.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Let's start a little beef with a certain bald fucker. Oh. Bezos? Mizkif. Wait, he's bald? No, but, you know, almost. Look, I am someone who loves saying that about people, but I got to say he is not close. Okay, in the thumbnail of the video, this one, we'll just say
Starting point is 00:20:06 Mizkif goes bald. We'll Photoshop Mizkif bald. That's how the beef will start. I don't mind that. It will spread propaganda. Well, it's also a challenge. Let's send out a challenge to him, and he actually seems like he's down for it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Crew battle. Smash Ultimate, us versus him. His crew of flunkies? His house, his crew of flunkies. house his crew flunkies the same people we roasted in a bunch of game shows but against us in smash ultimate there's no way we lose right i don't want to am i dumb they're a little more practice because that's the game they play i'm scared no if we play tomorrow we lose but the thing is i think no matter what if we go and we shit all over them that feels pretty good. This isn't for other people.
Starting point is 00:20:45 It's actually for us. Think about that. I'm down. I'm okay if this is not streamed or publicized at all. This will be publicized. It has to be. Are we playing online? No.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I refuse. We would have to do it IRL. We can fly down there. We fly down there with our- You guys want to call them out right now? So here's what happened. He sent me a message. He said, yo, my house versus your house, league So here's what happened. He sent me a message.
Starting point is 00:21:07 He said, yo, my house versus your house, league 10K buy-in. And I said, lol, Smash Ultimate crew battle, and I'm in. And he said, we'd roll you. Okay. And that's where we stand right now. He's rolling blunts. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:21:18 What's the lineup? Nobody in that house is good at video games except Simply, right? Simply is the only one who is a mild threat. Simply, and I think the rest of them are probably somewhat proficient at smash ultimate yeah like i think it's they're not like i don't think any of us are necessarily hitters like they play a lot the pokeballs are on high like i get it yeah will they play by our rules we have to explain crew battle rules i think no i think they know I think he's generally... Simply would definitely know.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Yeah, they know enough. I think Miz had ideas of sponsoring maybe like Spargo or something in Ultimate. Oh, okay. What if we all learn Rob this month? That's what I was thinking. It's just a team of five Rob's. The easiest path to success. Regardless, if we do that, Amon will.
Starting point is 00:22:05 That's true. Amon's picking Rob up for sure. The easiest path to success. Regardless of, if we do that, Eamon will. That's true. Eamon's picking Rob up for sure. Whatever sheep-like character. It's like when your local ICs is winning at Genesis and all of a sudden you're like,
Starting point is 00:22:13 wobble is dumbass. Bring back wobbling. I say that a lot. Like Army, he is a SoCal ICs player who got good and he wobbled. And then one time
Starting point is 00:22:23 he was at a tournament away from home and we were watching it at a local in SoCal. We were watching it on the big TV. And he plays against Mango. And he beats Mango. It was the first time. Mango's also from SoCal, mind you.
Starting point is 00:22:33 But he hasn't gone to a local literally since 2016 or something. But Army was our guy. So even versus Mango, we were like, let's get him. That's our guy. Because that's what's the bond inside of you is your boy. There just has to be more value in the other guy losing and you become wobbling. That's right. So I'm down.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I will take – my Mega Man will take a metal dump. Call him out. Call him out. Hey, what's up, Ms. Crew, you bunch of fucking monkeys? Oh, Ms. Cringe? Yuck. Pew, pew. Hey, from bunch of fucking monkeys. Oh, Ms. Cringe? Yuck. Pew, pew. Hey, from one bald guy to another,
Starting point is 00:23:08 we're going to wax you with my bald Mega Man. A punches, just so you're ready. Just use A to punch. So I would actually love to go out to Austin and just take a creamy dump on their faces and mouths. Retweet plus one. Yeah. Bald.
Starting point is 00:23:24 I don't want to dump on the, I don't want to take any crazy dumps. We're going to dump on them, Amy. It's going to be creamy. We'll just win. We're going to take
Starting point is 00:23:31 a creamy little diaper poop. That's right. It's going to be like shocking. It's 4v4. It's 4v4. We could bring Cutie. We could bring Cutie.
Starting point is 00:23:40 We could bring a anchor. Wait, who's their house? It's Miz, Crazy Slick, Russell, Simply, and Does Rich live there Miz, Crazy Slick, Russell, Simply. Does Rich live there? Emmy room? No, I think Emmy would be the fifth, I imagine.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I'm down. They have a rotating member. This sounds good. If Simply can't wipe us and we win. I think Miz also is better than Simply. Really? At Ultimate? Yeah, and Miz is better than me at Ultimate.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I would love a little challenge. You know what I'm saying? We need to practice. You sound like you don't want to challenge. Without practice, Miz is like, if I am 100%, he's like 125. Look, I went to Genesis and I played Ultimate with a random guy there who plays the game and did well in bracket, and I won our friendlies. Was he mad?
Starting point is 00:24:22 He was so mad. They get mad when you do that. Because I said this is my first time you said that i've never ever played this game ever before ever let's try it i did that at my first local i played a guy in pm but i played like a bit of melee and he's like oh it's pm i was like i've never played before but i'll try and he's like falcon i was beating him and like i think i got like one rest he all that fours and then he's like he. I was beating him. And like, I think I got like one rest. He ulted F4s. And then he's like, he switches to like his main. He ulted F4s. You got lipstick on and a giant dress.
Starting point is 00:24:48 And you're like, ooh, I guess I don't know how to play. Oh man. I did the same thing. It was a Genesis after party. The only setup available. There was like one melee, one ultimate setup. Melee was full. I'm like, all right, I want to play video games.
Starting point is 00:25:00 I sit down with this guy and I'm just like Marth swinging the sword at him, getting really frustrated and then he like gets mad and pulls out his cloud and I'm like, yeah, that's right. And he trashed me but I'm like, yeah, I made you play.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Love when you make him pull it out though. Made you switch. That's all you need. All you can do in that moment to make him hate his life is like you start playing and then a friend comes up.
Starting point is 00:25:19 You talk to your friend while you're playing and like you tell a funny story to your friend and you pause to finish the story. You pause. Dude, and then he said and the guy's like that's disgusting i want this game you shouldn't you can't do that nick actually is a psychopath nah i think you enjoy making people feel bad yeah you play ness no that's that's play ness i think your love i think your newfound puff
Starting point is 00:25:41 is also meant to do that in some ways. No. These are all incorrect. I don't think it's from a place of joy and kindness and love. I think we all enjoy making someone mad on the setup. If I don't know them. That's not true. I don't enjoy making someone mad on the setup if I know them. I actually don't enjoy it. I don't want to play after that.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Positive pushes everywhere. I play Ness because he does the fun up air move. Yeah, but no one likes playing your Ness, so it's for you only. It's for me only, but I'm not trying to make you mad and feel good about it. But no one's happy. Okay, but that doesn't mean that I like that part. It just means
Starting point is 00:26:16 I'm doing it for myself. That's a byproduct. That's what he's saying. Speaking of Smash, I don't think you've heard about this. I think it's pretty funny. I won't say who, but there was a guy on Smash Twitter that some people might have seen who after Genesis was delayed, which is like the biggest Smash tournament,
Starting point is 00:26:34 it was delayed like three months because of COVID. They're out like something like fucking six figures. It has to be six figures. It is six figures. And they're refunding half of the venue fee for people who don't want to be a part of it, I think is how it works. Yeah, they don't want to go,
Starting point is 00:26:49 they'll refund half. Yeah. But it's also getting moved, so you can just hold on to your ticket. You could hold on to it, but if you wanted to be like, I can't do this date now, you get half your money back,
Starting point is 00:26:58 and it's a pain. Like some people's flights. Keep in mind, the event was already no refunds prior to this. Yes. I think that was one of the important factors. It's like, if you couldn't go to the original dates, you couldn't get your money back already.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Yeah, yeah. That's very crucial. It's an incredibly crucial piece of information. The thing, the policy that's very publicly listed on the event prior to all of this taking place is no refunds at all. Okay. Shit situation, though. Noted.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Events delayed. A bunch of people are out on flights. They. Shit situation though. No good. Events delayed. A bunch of people are out on flights. They have to figure out how to get the money back. But people are being somewhat understanding because at the end of the day, it's a grassroots scene. One guy specifically is irate at not getting the full $40 back and only getting $20 back and tweeted out- No, was it?
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yes. Really? Yeah. I thought it was the, oh, he wanted the full 40 because it wasn't an 80. Because it was, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Okay. And so, he tweeted out like, I want the full money back and someone was like, bro, it's 20 bucks. And then he replied and was like,
Starting point is 00:27:57 eat shit. And talked about like getting a lawyer, basically. Yeah, he did the. He did the ninja. The thread that you, the thread that you lifted my meme from. Yes. He did the Spider-Man, the thread the thread that you lifted my meme from
Starting point is 00:28:05 yes the spider man the fucking this is blue buddy right yes well he just said we're not gonna name him I didn't wanna leak it
Starting point is 00:28:10 but it's pretty public I guess yeah what it's a giant public twitter thread it's just funny cause he said
Starting point is 00:28:15 I'm not going to name who it is and then you just and then you and then you came out to be fair oh that person right you can't find his twitter
Starting point is 00:28:21 with blue buddy Eamon is my regional leaker cause he did leak the HROC thing too so when I don't want to, Eamon leaks for me. That's, he's like your anchor translator. I'd hate for that man
Starting point is 00:28:29 to have to own his public actions. I agree. And so everybody's dunking on him. And I just screenshotted his bio and it said like spreading love and positivity. And then I just like replied with that. And like he sends like a message back like another person dunking on me.
Starting point is 00:28:46 I was like, hey, I'll pay for your things. That's what I sent to him. Yeah, you said you'd pay for his reg and his flight. Yeah, I'll pay you. To like shut the fuck up. Basically, yeah. I was like, I'll give you money to shut the fuck up. This part you don't know about, Nick.
Starting point is 00:28:57 We get into like a big DM conversation, me and this guy who wants his 20 bucks back. And we're going back and forth. And I'm like, hey, you are treating these people like giant megacorporations who have billions of dollars who are taking advantage of you
Starting point is 00:29:10 and not the humans that actually make the scene function that you take advantage of to be able to play this game. Yeah, it's three people, by the way, that put Genesis together. Two? And they're not loaded.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, it's just two now? Two. Yeah, okay, so there you go. And they don't make big bread from it. You should see a balance sheet. And the guy's like two now? Two. Yeah, okay. So there you go. They don't make like big bread from it. You should see a balance sheet. And the guys like every time. Hold on. Bobak brought a Prius after running Genesis for four years.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Yes, he did. And was like, we made it. This is my win. The car that every Uber driver gets to do that. Bobak was happy after four years of running signed up for doordash next day yeah it's also like like almost no competition like the best melee event yes yeah it's just like and the super bowl contributes so much to the game and smash honestly like evo got out bobe sometimes but like yeah it's it's the super bowl so anyway the
Starting point is 00:30:01 conversation goes back and forth where i'm trying to express this. And every single reply he's saying is, yeah, but you get what I mean, right? Like, I need my money back. Like, over and over and over. This is worth noting, guys, because Ludwig never does this. I don't do this often. I finally get to a point where I'm just fucking annoyed
Starting point is 00:30:16 at how much time I've spent doing this. And I say, just give me your Venmo. I'll send you the money. And I send him the money, and he's like, thank you, but you get it, right? Like, this wasn't cool. And then I say, because I send him the money and he's like, thank you. But like, you get it, right? Like this wasn't cool. And then I say, because I just kind of blow up at that point. I'm like, hey, I'm going to ban you from any event I run in the future ever.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I put him in my spam so he can't DM me. And then I went to Aiden and announced a $30,000 free tournament to enter. Dude, I saw that tweet and I was just like, he has not brought this up once? This is so random. Dude, knowing the context, that is the most petty thing that any of us have ever done. Yeah. LACS4, brought to you from spite. That is so fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:30:58 It's so funny, too. So we all took a different turn, like, responding to this guy. I know him, by the way. Us three, personally. You pay for all San Diego players like responding to this guy i know him by the way yeah yeah i you pay for all san diego i i do not know i wouldn't say i know him personally but i've definitely like seen him at events right like this is a person who has actively attended melee events for years that i am familiar with prior to this whole thing happening and but i have no personal relationship with him i get blocked ever replying with my little fucking meme right which is like whatever hey you play the game you want you know um i got
Starting point is 00:31:30 blocked after sending him 170 you got blocked after paying him anthony got blocked even though he has like a a closer relationship with him later that day nick has not interacted with this thread at all i haven't i didn't like a single tweet in this thread. I saw it was going on, and I was just like, I know him, and I know what's going on. I get it. And I was like, I don't care. I don't care at all. I'm not going to like any tweets. I didn't like either.
Starting point is 00:31:54 I didn't like your tweets. You're very, you stay away a lot. I'm just like, I don't fucking care. Like most stuff, you just like back off. He lets the camp counselors fight while he plays dodgeball. Exactly. That's what I want to do. And you finger blast. What dodgeball. Exactly. And you finger blast. What?
Starting point is 00:32:07 Did you finger blast at camp? Why are you looking at Nick? We're talking to you. You're the one who said it. I never went to camp. Loser. Me and Low are finger blasting. What happened?
Starting point is 00:32:24 COVID fucked you guys up. It was supposed to double clap. He went for a fist bump. You guys lost your wavelength. I didn't finger blast. Hey, we'll finger blast each other. We'll make up for lost time. I will make you squirt like crazy.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Anyway, I get blocked in this exchange. I haven't interacted with anybody. That's so sick. So funny that you got a block. I wanted to check in. I was like, oh, how's this going? Did I click? I was blocked.
Starting point is 00:32:43 I'm like, what the fuck? Because that means that he went on a tirade where he was just like, click, open, open, new tab, new tab, new tab. Okay, I got to go through all the tabs. I got to click block on all these different people. And I was just in there. He blocked a lot of people. He's not fast like me.
Starting point is 00:32:55 There's no way that... Maybe I got blocked by a proxy of being your friend. Dude, the... That's even funnier. I think this topic slightly warned, but there there was one because i was just going through it so much but then there there was one last little little smooch a little gem and it was this thread where uh kevin deer replied to like one of his other tweets from like a day later where he's like calling everybody on twitter i don't know like a fucking idiot or something and basically
Starting point is 00:33:22 says like this wouldn't hold up in court. This is like legally wrong. And Kevin basically says, you don't know what you're talking about. Here's like three links of why everything that has happened is legally okay. And you have no grounds to what you're saying at all. He stops replying to Kevin and blocks him. No, that's champion behavior. That's champion behavior. Because the argument doesn't exist if you cannot love it. No, that's champion behavior. Yeah. That's champion behavior. Because the argument doesn't exist if you cannot see it.
Starting point is 00:33:48 That's right. That's what I do. Anytime someone comes at me and I get mildly frustrated, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. I don't have to do this. This shit's the same. It's the same thing as the ninja thing. All he had to do in the original replies was say, hey, actually sucks that i'm not getting all my money back really was counting on the event happening this weekend i can't attend later uh i i wish i
Starting point is 00:34:12 got the whole 80 or some or you reach out shit like that reach out privately i need this fucking i actually really need this this bread which i'd argue if you've already spent the hundred dollars on the ticket on the video game tournament that you have no chance of placing in the money yet don't you don't need it i i think it's like it's it does suck i i do think there is a very sliver of being like oh man this is kind of like genesis gambled on covid being okay by now and then they canceled it pretty or pretty close to the date that i was very two weeks so that's, it's not like they're like golden, like secret little bears that we need to take care of. But it's like, yeah. All he has to do is say it like that.
Starting point is 00:34:54 I only have sympathy for the plane tickets. The event ticket, it's like you are signing up for an event that says no refunds, no matter what. And you're holding that. And then something happens. The same way that if he had plans on Genesis Day, he wouldn't be able to get a refund yeah those are the people i feel bad for is the the anybody who bought plane tickets that they cannot like pay to change that blows like shelly fucking uh spent uh like 850 bucks to go right to like on her flights from the uk or raul raul's like the number one, number two player in France.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Raul lands in Northern California the morning of the announcement. This is like TI, dude. Yeah, it's like the one guy who had gotten to Romania and then sees the Valve tweet and is like, oh, I just got here from Brazil.
Starting point is 00:35:41 What do I do for two weeks? Which is that situation? Awful. But yeah. Speaking of COVID, we all had it now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Yeah. I had the booster plus COVID plus bald. Yeah. And I am now a fortress of recovered strength and power. All doesn't have anything to do with test your COVIDness and do a yard meetup where every yard member kisses you. Every yard member. Well, not every yard.
Starting point is 00:36:07 A member or a fan? Us, yard member or yard again. Every yard again comes and coughs into my mouth. All of them. And it coughs into my mouth. All of the ones above the age of 20.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Not just the men, but the women. And the children. And the children. Every single yard again, be it from every race and creed and religion and age comes and they cough
Starting point is 00:36:26 into my mouth and i will kiss them all i kissed them all yeah it was crazy i i was like i was telling nick i was i tweeted i was like babbling on the floor just like in a fucking i i was hallucinating that wolves were just circling me ready to fucking dive in going through it and then uh and then i just got better. I think the vaccine got a workout for sure. And then I had one day where I was like, that sucks. And then the next day I was like,
Starting point is 00:36:52 I feel normal. Yeah. So, but do you guys have any side effects? Well, what happened is me and him, I think like from it since. Yeah. Like now I'm fine. Chunky cum.
Starting point is 00:37:07 No, I think I've, you know what? Like silly string. Ever since know what like silly string ever since i got covid i've been more petty you've been more petty i think i got pissy covid brain not pissy but petty like i did that thing where i i made a thirty thousand dollar tournament out of pettiness but also there's a guy in my youtube comments who is like l plus ratio isn't any that big of a deal i copied his name i put it it in Twitter. I found it. He has two followers and I ratioed him. Oh my God. That's very dude.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Why are you living like me now? I know I have COVID brain and it's making me petty. You're like Venom. It was like a Venom Ludwig.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Yeah. I have gotten more accepting of things. Yes. So your COVID brain has healed you. Yeah. Switched my COVID brain
Starting point is 00:37:41 made me Friday. Yeah. We have to fix it. Well, we don't have to fix it. My can remain chunky. Oh, this reminded me. I don't have to fix it. My cum can remain chunky. I don't know why it reminded me of that. Not that part.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Do you have that symptom of chunky cum? Do you have chunky cum? I do not have it. That's like the fourth symptom. It comes out like cottage cheese. Anyway, update. My whole family got together this week, and my sister, who is now listening to the podcast, has her favorite.
Starting point is 00:38:11 It's a favorite by a landslide, and it was followed up with, I want to hang out with them. Oh. You looked at me three times while saying this, so I think it's me. It's either me or Eamon. What? It's Aiden. Oh.
Starting point is 00:38:24 I can't pick it up. She was very stoked on Aiden. Oh. I can't think of that. She was very stoked on Aiden's vibe. Wow. The vibe. No, it's because she wants to dunk on you, bro. She's also gay.
Starting point is 00:38:31 That's probably what he's going to say. I was like, also maybe it's like the gay gene. The gay gene. No, that was what I guessed. Maybe it's a little bit
Starting point is 00:38:38 of a gay. I'm also gay. I've been saying that. I can be gay for her. I'm so gay. I'm so gay. I'm going to be gay for your gay sister saying that. I can be gay for her. I'm so gay. I'm gonna be gay for your gay sister so bad. Uh, yeah. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:38:50 I got your mom. Aiden's got your sister. Ludwig hasn't gotten a favorite yet. No. Ludwig's a hard favorite to have. That's like saying your favorite character's Naruto. Yeah, or like Super Mario. You're Mario. My main's Mario because I like Mario from Super Mario. Yoshi, Wario, Waluigi
Starting point is 00:39:06 No I'm Bowser I want to be Bowser Isn't he more Luigi because Luigi gets dunked on so much One time I think you'd like this So my mom Would sew Costumes for me When I was a kid
Starting point is 00:39:20 And my costume one year was Waluigi Actually two years I did Waluigi two years in a row and there was a costume contest at a pumpkin patch and I went on stage and did the Mario Party 3 winning animation as Waluigi.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Dude, is there video? Maybe. Do your best Waluigi. You have to ask. Do it. Do what you did. Do it. You're at the pumpkin patch.
Starting point is 00:39:41 I don't remember it. He does like the fist pumping. Do your best Waluigi. Go ahead. Shut up and do it. That Do it. You're at the pumpkin patch. I don't remember it. He does like the fist pumping. Do your best Waluigi. Go ahead. Shut up and do it. That's it. That's it. Okay, now do the Mario Strikers celebration that Waluigi does.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Yeah. He does that? Yeah. He does that. This is mind blowing to me, dude. Not only, this is in both games. The original game is rated E for everyone, and Waluigi mimes sucking his cock.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Everyone can suck it. And then they said, dude, that shit we did last game has to come back. Yeah, and then they upped the rating to E10+, because at least 10-year-olds can. Dude, E10 these balls, dude? 10-year-olds can suck it, not 9-year-olds. That is so funny, because it's like, okay, that guy's 11.
Starting point is 00:40:21 He knows what the fuck this means. He ain't gonna tell mom about that damn that's crazy did your mom give you a mustache too yeah she drew it drew it on she drew it on yeah my mom didn't like uh my mom did not like buying costumes because i think she they thought she thought they were like lame and expensive so she would sew me a costume with it with her bare hands with her bare hands with her love which is crazy now that i look on it in hindsight it is a lot of effort yeah she loved you so much and you became what you are now one of my favorite things she took one of my uh she took one of my dad's like old like pilot hats right and then she would sew the felt uh on
Starting point is 00:41:02 top of that and that was like my mar Mario and Waluigi hat that I had. Why do pilots wear hats? That is their... The sun is in their eyes while they fly. You're inside, bro. So they need to keep the... Put a visor. No, it's like being in the car, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:16 but they don't have the flip-down thing. They haven't invented the flip-down thing? The flip-down... Well, there's like instruments there, so... It's really funny. Like a plane has the little glade like scent thing yeah in the fucking in the in the air vent yeah it smells nice in the cockpit in halloween and middle school there was a costume contest and uh i don't know why i thought
Starting point is 00:41:34 this was a good idea when i was a kid i wanted a costume that like did something so i wanted to go as an easy button but what i did was i i like made a shirt that had an easy button embedded in it so you could press it on my chest. I think it's my most bullied day in history. I think it's the most I have been physically assaulted by people ever. How old were you? I was in the 7th grade, so that makes you, what, you're like 10 or
Starting point is 00:41:57 9 or something? You're 12 or 13. That's how people get chest holes. 13 is freshman year high school. I was 13 freshman year. Yeah, 13, 14. 13 is freshman year high school. I was 13 freshman year. Yeah, 13, 14. You could be 13 and 7th grade. 13, 14 is 8th grade. 13, 14 is freshman year high school. No, 14, 15 is freshman year high school. Either way, you're
Starting point is 00:42:14 not 9. You're like 12 minimum. I'm going to say 11. You're 12 minimum. No way. I'll do the math later. Anyway, I'm somewhere in a range where I'm young and I'm getting fucking beat my shit up. You're Getting my shit beat up. You're getting your shit beat? It sucks that we're old enough that we have to argue about how old you are when you're young.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Hbox said this thing on stream once. It was actually kind of weird. Someone said, like, how old are you in seventh grade? He instantly says the number, like frame one. I don't like that. And then someone's like, how did you know that? And then he immediately says, like, an equation that he uses to find that out. And it was, like, grade 7, 12 to 13.
Starting point is 00:42:51 12 to 13. Yeah, minimum 12. Bro, I'm 14 in freshman year. Anyway. Oh, it says 14, 15 freshman year. That makes sense. Yeah, and he says, like, an equation. He's like, you take the grade that you're in and you add two or something.
Starting point is 00:43:08 You shouldn't know that. You add five. That's arcane knowledge. Add five. Or four, depending, I guess. I don't like that he knows that. And I was like, what are you? He's smart.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Hey, hey. H-Box banned two. No. H-Box, I want him to wait. The problem is that that formula isn't useful after high school. No. That's why it's weird to have. That's why it's weird to have.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Only from age 1 to 12. Isn't it specifically only useful in the situation that he's asking? Yes. It is a weirdly odd thing to just have to know. I'm not accusing you. I'm not accusing you. I'm just saying. I bet he would fucking roll everybody here in Brain Age.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Brain Age the video game. Yeah. I don't know who you are. Speaking of Brain Age, I fucking rolled Nick. Dude, he's drunk and high Age the video game. Yeah. I don't know who you are. Speaking of Brain Age, I fucking rolled Nick. Dude, he's drunk and high at the same time. He keeps saying this. Oh, right. Yeah, baby! Oh, that
Starting point is 00:43:53 Ludwig after smoking. Dude, look at the hammer bro behind him trying to get it too. He's like, oh yeah, like Luigi. Dude, that hammer bro has never piped in his life. He's not hammering bros. Yeah yeah he's like wait what do they call him uh yeah never mind anyway ludwig keeps saying this and i'm so tilted because all right so this is the context they are playing brain age for like two hours which version the
Starting point is 00:44:16 it's the new switch okay they're playing for like two hours no one besides ludwig has played the game before and i'm not playing. I'm playing Melee. And I come over and someone's like, hey, you want to get in on this one? And I'm like, sure. I pick the controller up. And then Ludwig wins that one. And I'm like, I've just never fucking played this game. I feel like you're shunning.
Starting point is 00:44:35 And he wins by like 11 points. Like, he doesn't smoke me. That sounds like a lot. No. The person under me is down by 80. The person under me is 80 points. Double digits. Well, I can't.
Starting point is 00:44:46 11 and 8 are both. The reason I didn't argue about this on the fucking other episode we did, because I knew this would happen. I knew that there's nothing I can say where I win, but it's bullshit. And you know what? Someone out there has got me, maybe. I feel like here's what happened. You went head to head against someone who was taking gummies and mickeys to the dome piece all night and you couldn't win against him in a battle of smarts
Starting point is 00:45:10 and wits that's all i'm saying that's right and what you describe as your defense is oh yeah i lost but but it wasn't that bad oopy oopy oopy bears so what am I supposed to think? You're the mass media, and I'm average Joe. No, you're right. You're both right. You would beat him if you took gummies to the dump. I just unlock my third eye. That's what I think. What's the Patreon goal for the gummy episode of Nick?
Starting point is 00:45:37 Nick breaks edge. So high. $40,000. What would you break edge for? $1 million in your pocket? No. I actually have a condition out there that's still possible. I have a friend from high school who asked me the same question,
Starting point is 00:45:50 but was way more persistent. He was like, I want to see you weird. He was like, I want to see you get weird. And I'm like, no. And he's like, give me one condition that you have to. And the condition I gave him that I said, I promise if this happens, I will do it. You suck me right out.
Starting point is 00:46:05 I'm like, you fucking get some. Anyway, I have to be in a club, and the song Threats by Denzel Curry has to play. And if both of those things happen, and the song was not requested by a friend, I will drink lean. If someone can find lean in the building yeah okay so it's kind of like a it's kind of like a stars align event yeah and i said if that all happens i will go straight from the straight edge
Starting point is 00:46:33 to lean skipping i was gonna say you're just skipping beer weed and just like yeah lean is a big job yeah it's okay so that's out there so you get a big juicy belly like i feel like this could come back to haunt me like an esports party like like someone watches the pod they secret request you guys guys it has to happen naturally you guys ever i gotta beat the morongo i i was watching this uh this documentary about just the lean trade in america right and i i was they're talking about how this one particular brand has like gone up in value over the years because they stopped producing it like officially and i just go down this like google rabbit hole know this yeah i went on a rabbit hole of like dudes there's a rabbit hole on youtube of dudes who verify if bottles of lean are legit
Starting point is 00:47:21 and they're always like 16 years old this is a market so it's like that kyle sketch where they're in the fucking it's like a 16 year old kid he's using like a webcam he's like what's up youtube so uh i'ma i'ma show you how to make sure your lean is legit and you can tell this is all he fucking yeah he's just he's just zooted all the time and i'm like that and i went i had a day where i watched like a hundred of these i was like this is so i just started looking at prices and like ways you could get it as if i would like but in the in the same way in the same way that i like will watch a video about lithium and then i'll look at like which publicly traded lithium companies there are i'm but i'm looking at like bottles of lean like oh yes this
Starting point is 00:48:05 will be an investment of mine now right yeah you're a learner and an investor yeah and then i kind of have to stop myself and be like i can't sell illicit lean for that's the that's what ludwig doesn't say to himself he sees the ocarina of time 95 plus version and he's like oh that'll be a thing i can sell one day to a man yeah and i have a shit ton of lean upstairs and then and all his lean just like getting leaked on my lean i've good lean too so what did you discover oh i just discovered that the the one bottle of lean that i wanted to buy right allegedly wanted to buy. Because I was not actually going to sell lean illegally. You're a lean salesman now.
Starting point is 00:48:49 That's okay. I was like $2,500 a bottle now. You know what's... I think it's why rappers talk about drinking lean so much because they have to prove they bought it. Hard to get. And they can be like, I can afford lean. Fucking sick.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I just spent $2,500 on cough syrup. What you discovered from like lean YouTube is what I had to watch all the time when I was the vape marketing guy and I had to watch
Starting point is 00:49:12 vape YouTube, which is its own entire like, Yeah, VTubers. Who was the, that's how they get like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:21 They lose their human form. I want to, I want to see some mirage from smoke. Some fucking in fucking anime girl just dude you animate them hitting a vape dude i what what is this up was there like a really good big vape influencer that was all about it there was or is it just face banks i believe there's a vape influencer her name is blue Ivy, or that's a porn star, and I'm not sure which. Faze Banks, a VTuber, it's just his fucking monkey NFT. It is fucking animated vape.
Starting point is 00:49:53 He's like, bro, I'm a fucking monkey right now. That shit's wild. Fuck. Bunky's still got a hat. Wait, no, Blue Ivy is the daughter of someone? Train update, by the way. Oh, isn't Blue Ivy the daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Okay, not either of the things I said then. Very different. Yeah. But I believe there's a huge vape influencer, and I always thought it was so fucking weird, because she was on Instagram. She had, like, 500,000-plus followers. Her name involved some color in Ivy,
Starting point is 00:50:19 and she would get paid by these companies to vape their product. And she would post, like, she had, like, big boobs, and she'd post the vape and be like next to like a pool with a bikini. Yeah. Be like smoking Gorillaz balls today. And then next day would be a brand new juice, brand new company. Oh, she was hustling.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Smoking on nutsack juice. And then our people were like, yo, should we pay her? Like it's going to cost us like $2,000. And I was like, not everybody who looks at these posts is like, another one, honey. We have to buy another vape juice. That's a good point. Eventually, you're oversaturated.
Starting point is 00:50:53 You can't sell anymore. God, imagine the future where he just stays. You run out of juice. You're hitting your vape. You run out of juice. You're like, oh, honey, we need to buy some hot new juice. And you look at fucking big titty ivy's instagram and you see today i'm smoking cashmere squares and then you're like
Starting point is 00:51:13 fuck yeah it's like it's like alt coins it's like i guess it is just alt coins yeah but they don't rise in value you just vaping is the crypto How close were you to closing the FaZe Banks deal back when you were... The $300,000 deal? I was close. Yeah, that's so hype. I lost approval from my boss. I had approval from their team. So it was clear with FaZe Banks' team.
Starting point is 00:51:35 It almost never works that way. Yeah, right. Hey, we locked an enormous influencer. Can we do a deal with them? And your boss is like, I don't see the value. Well, it's because they were burned so bad because um they had hit success before like they had a successful vape brand uh and then it got popular and then they their production was shit so like two out of every 10 units sucked and then everyone's like oh this blows and then they all like the hype died
Starting point is 00:51:59 the brand i see and so he was like we're not ready for that. Ludwig just, he got fired and he's like, I'm going to sell myself like I sell vapes to kids. And here we are. To be clear, I think you've probably killed an equal amount
Starting point is 00:52:12 of children in both ventures. In both. Yeah. With my hands this time though. And boy is it hard. Bring me another one. I mean,
Starting point is 00:52:21 me and Ninja got to hang out somehow. It's easier to throw him a little iPod and be like, hey, you can smoke out of this. The popcorn lug does all the heavy lifting.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Go off, kiddos. Could you imagine like a streamer bohemian grove where like all the biggest Twitch stars get together and just choke out a kid on stream? No, that's what I'm saying. I bet you Hasan has abducted an Uber driver and killed him in his basement of his new house. His house is big enough. He could hide it
Starting point is 00:52:45 that's right we're actually like we're gonna lose one of the lawsuits if we keep doing this like like we're not gonna win all of them we're pretty low ev at this point i think yeah we lose the one against uh khalid you know that really reminds me of that that the inflection you just had as well as the 15k shrooms uh episode goal is i watched this thing a long time ago it was matt stone and trey parker the south park guys and they got invited to an award show and they had decided before the award show to take acid yeah but also wear dresses we didn't yeah we talked no no that's a different talk about on the pod we've talked about on the pod yeah well We've talked about it on the pod. On the pod? Yeah. Well, we got to wear the dresses anyway. I like that.
Starting point is 00:53:26 And that's the kind of shit I want to do in the future, right? Like, having money and, like, influence and, like, opportunities. That was a zipper clap, by the way, to that. It's about just showing a mirror to the whole stupid system and then just taking acid and going to a boutique event. Yeah, if we ever direct, like, a fucking blockbuster film film you can go to the red carpet with like uh your fish feet yeah you know and like i don't know and like maybe a goldfish living in my ass and you secretly give a gummy to everyone who enters and they don't know are we passing are we going over the thing
Starting point is 00:54:00 he said and hassan kills nick like an Uber driver. And Nick has chunky cum. And you have chunky cum from COVID now. There's a fish in his ass. There's a fish in his ass. You have chunky cum? Or is it creamy? I've got creamy cum. Ew.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Don't say it that way. As sincere as you say it, I don't like that. Oh, I hated that. My shit likes skippy. That's fine. I don't mind if you get guttural. That can also be chunky. But I don't like you going, it's creamy. Yeah, it's creamy. I think creamy is cum got also be chunky, but I don't like it's creamy
Starting point is 00:54:28 Like Kuno and his stands are the same. Yeah. Irish Tycuno is a good bit. Oh, I guess Ludwig, I'm going to tie your frosting. Oh, Ludwig, I think they meant it all. Oh, Ludwig, my crumb got all chunky from COVID. All right, we're losing one of the lawsuits. I'm with you, Nick. I'm with you. All right, look, you know what?
Starting point is 00:54:58 I put myself on the fire because I wanted to make that joke. The last time I actually did mushrooms was was in it was at my friend's uh no i i don't think that counts because i didn't feel i didn't take enough to feel anything right the last time you were influenced last time and they were mario hit me was at my friend's family's thanksgiving dinner really oh my god did the turkey just turn into a kaleidoscope and you stared at it? It didn't taste like anything. I remember the reason I did it was because I was in the basement playing ping pong with my friend Ben. And his uncle comes into the basement and his uncle speaks with like a... Stoma. Is that what it's called?
Starting point is 00:55:41 Yeah, where you press it to your throat. Yeah, and he's really funny too. And he just comes into the room after having hung out with him already that night. So it's not the first impression, but he's kind of a wacky guy. And he just tosses a bag on the table in the middle of our game.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I'm like, what the fuck is that? And I look and it's just a bag full of mushrooms. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking in my head it's like i can do this if at least two other family members are doing this at the same dinner and ben takes them uncle already on them so i'm like i'm in i want to talk like uncle and i get upstairs it's like 30 minutes later and we're about to start dinner. And I come up the stairs, and I grab Ben's shoulder, and I look at him, and I'm like, I'm not okay. And we just sit through dinner, and I just like wide-eyed conversation.
Starting point is 00:56:37 And you haven't eaten any of your ice cream. I can't taste the food. It is the least enjoyable food at thanksgiving i've ever had in my entire life wow and i just like got just got through the dinner like always worried that like am i having a normal conversation with ben's like aunt and uncle right now like not really considering what i'm saying and that was the last time so amen how do you do in school oh the snakes are my face and the clock is telling me that the time is the clock now that was that was the last time. So, Eamon, how do you do in school? Oh, the snakes are my face. And the clock is telling me that the time is the clock now. That was, that's the last time I did mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And you telling, you talking about them doing acid at the award show reminded me of that. Because it was just like in such a public setting. I've never really done it. I did it like, we took it in Italy. We didn't really talk about it because we took like like, half a dose of psilocybin. Yeah, you took a little more than I did. And even you, like... I felt tingly and then I felt, like, mildly high.
Starting point is 00:57:31 But I think it had to be shaken off because we were thrown into a dangerous scenario that I talked about on stream. But we were, like, we went to this winery and we were supposed to try wine and then do, like, a safari tour. And then the guide was, like, this crazy Eastern European. He's like, ah, no, it's fucking, let's go on the Vespas. Yeah, so you had to sober up. This is the same guy in the car who was like, oh, you got the OnlyFans too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Yeah, it's kind of cutie. And so it's like, okay, now I have to focus. And I was like, oh, cutie can drive. Because he's like, yeah, I drive four wheelers all the time. And they make you do a little test to drive the Vespa. This is in Italy. So you hop on and you do a circle you just have to go straight turn around come back that's it this event by the way is why i mistakenly told you how to turn it because my instruction to you was what i learned at this session i want you to know that i'm sorry he would have found a way
Starting point is 00:58:20 to not blame you he would have been like i, I told him that, but he should have. Whatever. Whatever. It's fine. Whatever. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. No, I don't feel bad.
Starting point is 00:58:30 He's talking to Zipper Q. I'm sorry. The way they taught us to drive the Vespa is like, don't be shy. Jerk that shit. And QD's supposed to go up. And she felt confident. And I was like, oh, you do this. Because I took Mushroom. I don't want to drive.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Yeah. She chokes it. She chokes it. You haven't ridden your Vespa now. Is it going to end up in the garbage like Mike present got you? I need oil, and you said you would do it, according to QD. Oh, yeah. I didn't know I was supposed to move the needle on that.
Starting point is 00:58:53 You have yingling now. You have yingling. Yingling. He's downstairs changing some text of two-stroke. But I went out and literally got gas to do it. By the way, car man, can you settle this debate? It's me, car man. Between me and Nick.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Yeah, so oil makes it so the engine doesn't seize. I think I'm going to lose this debate, but I don't think I'm hopeless. I got gas and put it in the red gas thing that you put when you need gas, but it's not in your car. The can. Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:21 The gas can. Basically, he left a full tank of it. Like a two gallon. In the back of his car, like in direct sunlight. Okay. And I said, you probably shouldn't do that. You should probably take it out of your car. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:35 And then he said, no, there's no danger. Okay. I don't know enough about gasoline. What I do know is that it doesn't last forever. That's why like hoarding it in barrels doesn't work. I said the danger was that he thought it'd blow up. I thought its potential to heat up in the back of your car because it's so hot in California. And it's not only in heat, but it's going through glass.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Okay, I don't think that gas. Okay, one thing about gasoline, it's not the liquid that ignites. It's the fumes. Okay, another thing. I don't know if it can just combust in the air I'm still mind blown at that first fact isn't that crazy you could throw a match into the gasoline water and
Starting point is 01:00:12 it won't like light if you could somehow do it what if you do it from underneath but it would pour out I don't know if gasoline combusts but I don't have I've never heard of that happening, so it's probably fine.
Starting point is 01:00:27 It's also probably not great to put in your car. So instead, you should drink it. Anyway, what if the fumes leak out and you're like, hey, Aiden, you want to play some music? And it's like, and they blow up. I don't think it would do that. 20K, we just pass the gas can around. It's just a puppet. we make moonshine on the
Starting point is 01:00:47 yard set i do think we need a good 20k goal let's worry about 15k because this mushroom episode i feel like by the way i'm gonna do like i did on the gummy episode i'm gonna cruise through it you think so i would love to see you break down irrevocably because on the gummy episode i was pretty a1 i was pretty there you're fine the Premium episode, you guys both started to drift a little bit, but in the regular episode, you guys were, you know. Well, okay, I'll even say this. Aiden was unresponsive. Yeah, he was out.
Starting point is 01:01:13 And I feel like the same thing will happen to the mushrooms, but I always feel like when content's on, my brain is there. Ah, I see. And this happened even yesterday because Jadeon reached out to me after I made a couple videos on mogul mail about the pokey situation yeah and he was just like hey i want to hop on a call uh and i was like sure fine i do it we talked for like an hour i had taken a gummy like 30 minutes before because i was gonna bust down in anime yeah and instead i'm doing this conversation while high but i'm like
Starting point is 01:01:40 i'm basically content brained and i'm like yeah man hey here. He's like, do you think what I did was sexist? I'm like, yes, here's why. It hurt my girlfriend. He's like, wait, really? I was like, yes. How many people in the top hundred do you think are women? He's like, I don't know, two. He's like, oh, okay, that's bad.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Wow, that sounds productive. I was. Thanks, weed. Still a wild stab, by the way. Fixing relationships and ending sexism. Did you hear what I would do if I was president? Kill a guy again? Well, no.
Starting point is 01:02:08 I would make everybody who's an American smoke weed, but it is illegal until you're 25. But then when you're 25, you have to try it. Zipper thought that was funny. I would force people to smoke weed as the president. That's awesome. He also said he wouldn't talk to the Canadian prime minister for eight years. Just for the whole term.
Starting point is 01:02:26 Yeah, he's played. Dude, the scenario that this came up in, because my favorite Ludwig stream that happens is the Ludwig Pogo Stuck stream. And you were doing it, and it's late at night, and he's just kind of mumbling to himself what he would do as president if he was. And it just keeps going on and on like he'll mumble like something that he would do and then be quiet and then add another thing he would do a lot of fucking becomes president there's like four canadians in the lakers like the next day it's like fuck you guys so yeah you would just be you would be that guy yeah why do you think that would solve anything is people trying weed at 25 all right well first of all i think trying it before 25 is bad you know
Starting point is 01:03:09 you know a question that i get a lot that i'm gonna flip so i get what i get a lot is like what drug would i try if i could break edge what drug would you make me do if i if i broke edge and you could make me do any drug and i wouldn't like have negative repercussions i would have you do heroin yeah you would just have me do heroin? I've never done it, so I want to see what it's like from your perspective. What happens to me? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:28 So you don't want me to have a good time. No, he'd have a great time. You'd probably have a good time. People like heroin, but I don't want to do it. It'd be so boring for us. You'd be the guinea pig, though. Do people...
Starting point is 01:03:38 I'll just do it for you. Do people like heroin who are generally in a good mood, or do people like heroin when they always feel like shit and heroin brings them back to what heroin feels like? I'm pretty sure it's the latter. I don't think I would have a good heroin time. I think heroin is good for you.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Any doctors listening, just let us figure it out. Let me be me! Let me be me! That triple B clip. The cascading effect of that making it for the world. People turning that into Midwest emo is so good. I love it, dude. I don't know if you've seen that.
Starting point is 01:04:12 I have seen a bunch of the, this is Bobby Big Ball's Melee Player Rage, and it's great. I even watched his stream after. I saw that live. I saw that clip live, and I was like, boys, I clipped it first. I was like, you guys gotta watch this. You clipped it? Yeah. It's so fucking funny, dude. Can I ask like, boys, I clipped it first. I was like, you guys got to watch this. Clipping it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:27 So fucking funny, dude. Can I ask you a question, Eamon? You have on there meeting with Ludwig. And I feel like I'm the only one who can share directly any pain that you might have. Oh, this was insane. What? Because I realized like, one, before, because I feel like we rag on Ludwig in a business context a lot. Deservedly so.
Starting point is 01:04:47 That's right. But with it lately, I would say that it's been going better personally. I had a meeting with everyone. I said, these are my two big asks. Ludwig, has everyone used Slack? He has been doing that. He's been using Slack. Ludwig has been more responsive on Slack than on Discord.
Starting point is 01:05:05 And I like that. And I really appreciate that. And I've told him that. It's been great. And then there was another one, another big ass, but I forgot. Big A, we call them. So I was hanging out, just doing my thing, working at my desk. I needed something from Ludwig.
Starting point is 01:05:22 I needed to cover like three different big topics, right? And you were in the kitchen talking to Cutie think and i come up to uh i come up to you and the first thing i said is so how do you feel about pussy and you and anyway uh i was like i have shrugs i have three things to talk to you about and he's like okay okay and i'm like okay so the first thing the first thing is this and he like yeah that's the one because he kind of like answers the question and i'm like you didn't you didn't answer you didn't answer my question and then he just uh i'm standing there with a notepad and a pen in hand to record my answers from this conversation and he just walks away after not answering my first question and cutie is in the room when this happens and i look over at her and she's like i i can't do
Starting point is 01:06:12 anything about this like and and you proceed to walk what not only walk away from me but walk out the front door so i i am just high i'm like mind blown i i i wonder should i stay should i and then i decide to walk out and follow him and then he's shirtless by the way walking through our neighborhood i'm walking alongside him mr president mr president and pen and paper next to shirtless ludwig as we just walk through the neighborhood. A word, please. And as he answers each one of my three questions in detail. He's missing something. And I'm taking notes. As I left
Starting point is 01:06:51 the kitchen, I said, come along, Garcon. You said that? Well, I told him to come. Did you hear that? Yeah, you did say that. Yeah. You did say, come along, Garcon. Did you look him in the eyes when you said it? No, I was walking away. I said, come along, Garcon. He was walking away. He was back to me when he said this. He would never do this.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Dude, he's like walking out and he says, there's much to learn. And he closed the door and you're like, do I go? I was just thinking about what it must be like to be anyone that drove past us that afternoon. Because you're driving through our neighborhood, which is primarily old people and families. through our neighborhood, which is primarily old people and families. Like, just fucking going by and you look over and you see two young people
Starting point is 01:07:29 in their 20s, one shirtless, the other pen and notepad. The other has a fedora on that says press in it. It looks like you got an interview with Adam Sandler and he's like, you got four questions. But you gotta follow him around. Come with me on my morning walk. Why were you like
Starting point is 01:07:46 that? I had a schedule I had to adhere to because I had things to do and he did not carve out this time. It's not a time he carved out. The opposite of this, by the way, is I pulled up into the driveway and Ludwig was leaving to go on a walk and I get out of the car and I'm like, where are you going? He's like, going on a walk. And I'm like, oh, you want me to
Starting point is 01:08:02 go on a walk with you? And he goes, you can't walk like me. And then he turns around and he keeps going it's you know what it's true i said i yelled you think i can't walk like you do it turns out he's laughing at me he turns out he's like he's like oh man he turns back around and keeps walking i was like dude that could also be like hey ludwig we lost a hundred grand because of something that happened he'd be like don't talk to me gotta take my walk gotta get my walk in i needed to get my walk in but you did you explain to him i need to get my walk you can come with me no you said come on gasl yes do you you know how uh do you know how like like Sikh people
Starting point is 01:08:43 will will just will walk like you'll see I know that sounds like so vague like older Sikh people will go on just walks like a lot of walks and it's not just a human thing why are you calling out this no no like it's specifically I think it's specifically like a I there is a disproportionate moment can you pause for a moment? Can you not pay attention? Do you guys want to make him feel bad? No. No? Okay. Go on. A disproportionate number of older Sikh people who go walking.
Starting point is 01:09:12 You should start seeking some hoes. I want you to seek some paper. Sorry, dude. Woo! Well done. Oh, man. And there's a couple... We get there. We got him.
Starting point is 01:09:19 And there's a couple Sikh families in our neighborhood. And I'll see the same old guy go on his walk every evening. That I'll drive past, and in my head, it's like in the neighborhood, there's three walkers, and it's these two older Sikh guys and Ludwig shirtless in the morning. Vitamin D is great, and you get more of it if you're shirtless. Also, more of it fills his cavernous chest hole. That's honestly a good point.
Starting point is 01:09:49 No, because he checks the UV index. I am a pretty avid UV checker. What? Yeah. You know what that is? No, I'm saying you guys are so in sync, so I'm believing you. There's no way you do this. I do this a lot. It's true. And he knows because I've told him about it. Because you go out shirtless?
Starting point is 01:10:03 Is that the reason? I see the UV before I go out. I see. That's crazy to me. Yeah, it's also crazy because sometimes he'll just not respond to his best friend and business partner. Yeah. But he'll check the UV index. Well, that's cancer. That's life.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Speaking of UV index, we're in the gym today. We're in the gym today. What? And I'm on the bench. Finally getting Ludwig to work out with me, by the way, who's been dodging me for days. Aiden was like, hey, we can work out today. And Ludwig was like, he scheduled this out.
Starting point is 01:10:32 I asked him five days ago. I was like, when is the next time you will work out with me? And he's like, on Monday. So I've been ably waiting for today. Zipper, can you type in Charles Manson interview? Oh, I know the faces. Yeah. the one where he does all the faces because we're in we're in the office today and we're talking about scheduling stuff and aiden to ludwig he's like hey you want to work out today and if zipper can pull it up it is type in funny moments after charles man yeah yeah this is this is how ludwig reacts to his hairline busting what
Starting point is 01:11:06 that's what you did okay you were doing that you were doing that it was so fucking funny it was like what does this mean and he said i'm nobody we did work out finally we're in the gym i'm on the bench i'm about to pump some fucking iron i have the i have the bar above me like i'm getting ready to push off and ludwig grabs this uv light and he comes he turns it on and puts it on my pants and he's like yo come check this will be at the start of the video i have a film bar up like it died like trying to hold the fucking bar and it was 45 it was light it was the warm it was the warm up but i'm i'm still like it's still hard because i'm laughing so hard with the bar above me and he's like he's like going over my whole
Starting point is 01:12:05 body and I stand up I stand up after this one's done and he like he turns it on again and he like flashes my neck he's like yo you got cum neck this guy's funny I will say
Starting point is 01:12:21 sometimes my best bits formulate in my head when I'm spotting you. And I'm like, I can't kill this guy. But I know this would fucking slap. He's like, yo, can you spot me? And you saddle him on top of his waist. And you're like, all right, let's go. Come on.
Starting point is 01:12:34 You got this. You do have a sleeper on your phone right now. The one where you make me touch your chest. And I think that one's really funny. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to put together a new compilation. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Aiman cringe moments. Watch Mojo number seven. Yeah, it's fun lifting with Aiman in the gym. You like that? We get a little crazy. We get a little nuts, a little wild. Yeah. A little stinky. I hate to ask, how much time do we have left? We have exactly 30. He's got somewhere to pee. Actually, more like
Starting point is 01:13:03 20. I need to pee so bad. You need a hot pee? You can hold 20 minutes. How about you pee in that bottle on set? Pee in that bottle right there? I'm sorry. It hurts. Go pee in the bottle. No, I don't want to pee in the bottle.
Starting point is 01:13:13 Pee in the bottle. And we'll just not cut to you. Just turn around. Don't show your dick. Well, then why did you bring up pissing? Because I want to go downstairs and go pee. No, you're not going down. You either piss in the bottle or you sit in your fucking chair and you be a podcaster.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Be a pee-pee boy. What? You're going to piss in the bottle or you sit in your fucking chair and you be a podcaster. Be a pee-pee boy. What? You're going to piss in the bottle? Don't be surprised. Do it in the corner like a good boy. Go in the corner like a good boy.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Go in the corner like a good boy. That zipper. Go in the corner like a good boy and we'll continue podcasting like professionals. I will say
Starting point is 01:13:39 I used to make the drive from... What if he feels... I don't want to do this. No, you got it. You're not feeling You're not going down there You got it bro So either do it in the corner
Starting point is 01:13:48 Or shut your fucking mouth Eamon If you fill it All the way to the top You get a prize So I will drink it That's right I'll drink it all the way down
Starting point is 01:13:54 If you fill it I used to drive From New Hampshire To New Jersey Cause I had a girlfriend In college Who lived there And I
Starting point is 01:14:01 I hated the drive It's a pain to stop anywhere because the traffic how long is it it's about five hours but it can be seven or eight depending on traffic because you like go through new york is this tina uh this is not tina i don't think i ever dated a tina i can hear it and it's so loud you got stage fright over there kiddo yeah he he stopped halfway through like it's get smart he stopped halfway like get smart. And I used to pee in bottles on the way. Okay. I used to pee.
Starting point is 01:14:26 I would get a huge dunk, like a large, and I'd pee because I didn't want to stop. And did you ever have a mishap? Did you ever take a sip? I would pee. No. I would pee in traffic, but I drove a sedan, and trucks could easily see. Yeah. Well, trucks are fine.
Starting point is 01:14:41 Trucks are fine because they know the rules of the road. And like Eamon should know. He's going for so long. I can't even hear you. Do we have another bottle? You could pee in the can, but you might cut your tip. No! I got it.
Starting point is 01:14:55 Swap out. Take the bottle. Oh my god. It's like the alligator. No cap. It's not wrong. It's the rules of the road. Honestly, impressive that he...
Starting point is 01:15:12 You filled a bottle? He really had to go. He cleared like 20 ounces. He was not kidding. He really had to pee. I had to pee, but I'm an adult. Yeah, some of us just... Do we have another cup?
Starting point is 01:15:25 I've got a super soaker. Don't, yeah, be careful. Don't cut your uncircumcised cock on this. This is harder to pee in. I've done this too. It's not gross. It's your body. Your body's not gross, babe.
Starting point is 01:15:37 Just put it on the grass. Here. No! Take it. Oh, don't show it. Dude, you're hydrated. Oh, you look great. That is so much... It actually looks like the show it. Dude, you're hydrated. Oh, you look great. That is so much...
Starting point is 01:15:46 It actually looks like the normal Gatorade. You're hydrated. So, by the way, for anyone... This is parody. It is so horrible. Oh, my God. All right. No, put it over there by the skeleton.
Starting point is 01:15:58 No, don't keep it on camera. We shouldn't show it. Yeah, you probably shouldn't show it. Did you piss? I mean, no. It's fucking piss. It's just better not to. It's for science. I mean, it's not... Welcome to the science cast. I, you probably shouldn't show piss. Do you feel piss? I mean, no, it's fucking piss. It's just better not to. It's for science.
Starting point is 01:16:05 I mean, it's not. Welcome to the science cast. I haven't done that in so long. You feel good? You look good. Dude, it has to be like at least eight years since I've done that. Wow. I was fucking with you.
Starting point is 01:16:17 This is actually the end of the pod. Thank you guys for watching. No way. Are you serious? We got 20 more. That would be really funny. but i would love to hear about cursed pussy this so there's a problem me and amen we go get coffee a lot and a lot of we'll just conceive bits in the car but sometimes they're a bit ill-conceived and in the moment
Starting point is 01:16:38 they're the funniest thing in the entire world and like we gotta put that fucking topic channel bro and then i write it down and i revisit it i'm like i don't remember what this is so all i can say is cursed pussy it was just this idea that like it's like you like fuck somebody and then like the you put your ear to the pussy and it's like speaking parcel yeah it's basically like right it's like the lord of the rings guy and you and for some reason we were dying laughing and the context is lost to me but he likes it right so what it was so much funnier the car i'm sorry so so what i'm saying is i'll know now to filter what will be good or take at this point just put a little mic in the car while you're driving to star you know in like
Starting point is 01:17:22 in fucking harry pot Potter when the diary fucking whispers and shit? Yeah. People are like, where'd that come from? And it said it's someone's pussy. It's McGonagall's old pussy. And Snape's chunky cum. This is a them thing. We need something. Dude, what about a ball sack
Starting point is 01:17:41 but it bounces like a bouncy ball? The ball sack does? Yeah. Okay, okay. Hey, great. Really funny. Right.
Starting point is 01:17:50 But I was watching a documentary on anesthesia. Here's what's funny about it. Apparently, there was a guy named the fastest knife in the West. Because before anesthesia... Hold on, hold on, hold on. He was like... So he's a surgeon. He was crowned it?
Starting point is 01:18:02 Or his name is the fastest knife? No, his name was Joseph Lister, I think, if I'm remembering right. But back in the day before anesthesia, surgery had to be done real quick. Oh, I see. And so the best surgeons were the ones that could get it done the fastest. So they don't die from blood loss or shock. Yes, or it's also painful, right? They're like freaking out, writhing around.
Starting point is 01:18:21 And this guy was the fastest blade in the West. Cause he could do the surgery real quick. That's right. I got it. A listen. And, uh, and it was really funny. British surgeon.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Yeah. Isn't that gross? Let them do that. I know it was a lawless land. And then as anesthesia started to evolve, he, it was just while he was still alive and he got like phased out. Oh,
Starting point is 01:18:41 cause he was like, Oh, I guess I'm, it doesn't matter how at some point they stopped At some point, they stopped playing Among Us. That's what I'm saying. He's the disguised Toast of the Surgeon World. And he's just trying to stay afloat, doing surgery
Starting point is 01:18:54 real fast on Naruto. And he pivoted. He pivoted to becoming a ninja. You talked about that, right? You're the one who told Toast to do that. Yeah, I'm the one who... We had a conversation on a podcast, I think we talked about this, where I told him, yeah, you could just watch anime on stream. You'd get a bunch of viewers.
Starting point is 01:19:10 You'd get banned, then you'd come back bigger from the ban. Do you think he's weird? No. I don't think he's weird. Me neither. Because I don't know him. I think Slime... Fuck!
Starting point is 01:19:23 Zippers just got a fucking AK-47 pointed at him. I think you have regressed as a human from reading LSF. No. I think you get too many of your takes from commenters instead of your own brain nowadays. I did go up to you and I was like, why did Toast lie? And then you were like, I don't know. And I was like, okay. And that's all I thought about it.
Starting point is 01:19:42 Oh, he was snappy that morning. He was a little snappy. He was snapping. This is my COVID morning. But yeah, I feel like you don't come to your own conclusions anymore. I do. No, here's the thing. I don't think you're a free thinker.
Starting point is 01:19:53 I just don't come to severe conclusions anymore. You don't come to your own conclusions. Yeah, but the ones I do come to aren't severe. I would rather you say Sykuno diaper play than say a comment on LSF to me. I will do that for you. Thank you. I did have a moment today. I will be your diaper boy.
Starting point is 01:20:11 I think you were sitting at your computer, and I looked at it, and it was Hasan eating, watching Pokey drinking, watching Ninja talking. I was like, maybe the React meta has gone too far. That's just the Bo Burnham bit, right? That's in inside.
Starting point is 01:20:32 Yeah, it actually was that but unironically while they all eat food and drink. Yeah, that's hype. That's what your expertise is in. Yeah. Yeah, that's tight. It's not tight. Here's why it's tight. Because we can say as much as we want oh fucking react oh it's fucking it's bad it's like
Starting point is 01:20:51 not effort content but we will watch it are we not just reacting to our events of our life humans need this everything as happening as it should because we're not going away from it do you want to have a little react portion? I don't think you guys have seen this. Zipper, do we have audio? Does audio work here? Yeah. Can we pull up real quick?
Starting point is 01:21:11 I don't know if you've seen this. Amaranth's music video came out. I didn't watch it. I didn't watch it. Let's pull up Amaranth's music video for just a moment. This is the one. We are actually in it for a little bit. That's right.
Starting point is 01:21:23 Because she did record some footage with us. Is Eamon not in it? Eamon is not. The shot's kind of tight. The tight shot. If you include pedophiles, it's like a whole thing with ads. Oh, come on. He did pee in front of children. On camera.
Starting point is 01:21:41 The house is far away from schools. Parody. Anyway, let's pull up the music video. Just give us like halfway through. Give us like a good 30 seconds. Nick, you tell me when to stop watching. Oh. I would have loved to write this.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Better than I thought it would be. Really? Better than I thought it would be. I thought the opposite. You're talking about the music? Yes. I'm not talking about the video. I'm talking about the music.
Starting point is 01:22:15 That's Amon. I love a horse mask. This is it. We can halt it there. Wait, I want to see the part with us. Oh, it's at the very end. Very tail end, last 10 seconds. Yeah, it's the end.
Starting point is 01:22:27 It's before the credit roll or the closer. This did... Hey! My hand was in there. It's everybody except for Aiden. That's awesome. My hand squeaked in. It's like the SpongeBob hat thing.
Starting point is 01:22:44 So we had a meeting with Amaranth and her manager with the company that we're working with to produce the flashlight. Yes. At what point should we stop calling it that? No, so exactly. So I didn't fully realize this because I kind of thought it was like a Kleenex band-aid sort of situation where that word becomes like publicly accepted genericized trademark i think yeah and uh woke up woke up like early to getting this fucking call very weird call but the woman the woman
Starting point is 01:23:17 that was dictating it who works for the company that is helping us purdue this wonderful woman but just very very funny to be talking about molded pussy lips in a business meeting and did she say that yeah so if you're gonna go with the gaping lip it's gonna be a 25 increase did they say that we can go with summer shandy scented or we can go with tropical breeze or we can go with lot lizard so it's already it's already off to just a very funny start i luckily did not have a webcam on this computer so because thankfully i don't think i could have kept it together mike was also in this call yeah and uh and the whole time me and mike were just like sending shit back to each other yeah like a bunch of two-year-olds.
Starting point is 01:24:06 It's like this adult in the meeting, like, trying to do a job. And you guys are like, he, he, he. Dude, she's... Everybody in the call... She says pussy, and she sends the dump truck of laughing emojis to Mike. Everybody in the call clearly thinks it's, like, mildly funny that we're all there. Like, it's not... It's definitely a shared feeling across everybody that has participated.
Starting point is 01:24:25 But what I did learn is, no is, it's definitely a shared feeling across everybody that has participated. Um, but what I did learn is no, we cannot call this a fleshlight. It is no longer a fleshlight. Okay. That is an official product of another company. They are canister strokers. That's gross.
Starting point is 01:24:37 That is the neutral term across the board. We can, we can give it our own name, right? Yeah. We could say whatever we want. Pocket Pussy is also a different copyright term. Okay, so you can't call it Pocket Pussy or Fleshlight.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Pleasure, pal. Right now, everyone get their one. I'm going to think of a different one. Mini Canister Stroker Orifice Massager for Men. On Walmart? Ten bucks. And they're out of stock? Ten bucks.
Starting point is 01:25:02 The Blowjob Bottle. Okay. Jerk off jacket. The jacket? Full metal cum device. More anime. I'm getting better. We're getting better.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Your nut in April. That's just a good porn parody. Full metal cum device brotherhood. Attack on Deep Throat. These are just parody titles. We need like a product name. Dude, you're not in April. We should produce this.
Starting point is 01:25:27 Pussy Shippuden. Yeah. Stro-Ku-To. Dragon Ball. What if we just called it... Hey, wait. What if we just called it Sugma?
Starting point is 01:25:42 The Amaranth Sugma? I mean, it's catchy. It's succ succinct it's a sugma your your convention this is like actually all you have the fuggma i don't know fuggma the ligma sugma could work uh the extra we call it the extractor the cum extractor 9000 like a fucking toy in Monsters Inc can't we uh what's that meme the fucking suckatron 9000 like that bit
Starting point is 01:26:12 that was the bit that got got doubled McTwisty that was the bit that me and Mike were on we were like dude it's like the fucking thing it's like the thing Luigi uses to clean up the mansion and then I sent him back the fucking photoshop with luigi holding it that's awesome i sent him back a picture of like a fucking
Starting point is 01:26:32 professor e gad like luigi before you go i want you to check this out i love the idea of megaman killing like this this opponent and then gaining a pocket pussy on his arm and then like the other robots just fuck it and he kind of just the next the next boss in the game he's just like it's like yeah it's fuck fuck go crazy bro we'll get there well all right we'll get a name we'll set a brainstorm meeting and we'll get it hey if you guys have any uh any yardigans we'll uh you know get to sucking while sucking's still good. If any of you want to give us some free creative labor, just throw it our way. I was going to say we could pay him.
Starting point is 01:27:09 You did it for the tattoo, Collins. You can do it again. By the way, on the note of the tattoo, so we have a winner, obviously. I reached out to two artists, both of them super down, so he's got a pick. And they're both down to have us do it at their studio. Can we get the tattoo with the hat so long and it's disappearing into your butthole? Can we? Please please. You never let us get anything.
Starting point is 01:27:30 You're so cringe. Please. Please. Come on. Stop saying no every time. I think the hat is fine as it is. Do you really want to change the hat? Mom, you bitch. You're such a fucking bitch. I do think there's a conversation to be had about if the hat should extend longer or if it should be that
Starting point is 01:27:47 Come up your neck. Oh Do that be hard? Goes up my collar and then someone's like what is that? I'm like I pull it down and it just got hit the head is just like yeah, the little hat comes above the neckline But then Garfield goes it goes like the hat extends your torso. So Garfield is like right above your pubic line. Yeah, so it goes just
Starting point is 01:28:08 fucking right up. And then you shave a little pillow into your pubes that he sits on. Wait, what if you shave your pubes and then put it there
Starting point is 01:28:15 and then the hat extends right above the belt line? What does shaving my pubes have to do? You would have to shave We just want to, we just want to get down there. Okay, I see. I just want to see your pubes.
Starting point is 01:28:24 We're just trying to get active. I think maybe we should do it longer. I didn't like that idea at first. My idea of longer? Yeah, but now that I'm hearing it, I'm like, it makes the tattoo funnier. It does. Yeah. It makes it less cool and more funny.
Starting point is 01:28:36 Which is, in a way, cool. How long should it be? That's the good question. Boot up marble zipper. We put an inch for every marble. One to 100 inches. The tattoo guy comes out of zipper's office. All right, sit the fuck down.
Starting point is 01:28:48 Yeah, because I want to put the background behind the cat. I want to keep the background. So we just go past the background. Oh, okay. Right. You know what I mean? Like YouTubers do when they have a fake background and their head pops out of the box.
Starting point is 01:29:00 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And they play with perspective a little bit. You are so dumb. Butterside down. What's the damage? Oh, we're good. We. Yeah. Yeah. They play with perspective a little bit. You are so dumb. Butterside down. What's the damage? Oh, we're good. We're good. Well, you know what? Is that that?
Starting point is 01:29:11 Have we made it? We're like at 127 I think. Can I add one more thing? Yeah, please. So the Always Sunny's guys started a podcast. I don't know if you guys have listened to it. Always Sunny-er? What's it called? Always Sunny. It's called the Always Sunny podcast, I think. Wow, that must have taken a while. They use their show theme song,
Starting point is 01:29:26 the whole thing. And I was terrified because that's like, they're like some of the funniest people, one of the best shows on TV, et cetera. And I was like, this is going to be another one of those things where I listen to it
Starting point is 01:29:35 and it is so unfunny when they are off the TV show and I'm like, I don't want to, you know. So I listened to it. I listened to a full episode. I never listen to a fucking podcast. And they are still very, very funny.
Starting point is 01:29:48 They still got it. It's a great podcast. But I also... You know how people will ask us all the time, like, which one of you guys from that show? And we're like, you can't really... There's no comparison for all of us and all of them. No, I'm Charlie. Easily.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Yeah, but you can't do the rest of us very easily. Anyways, them as real people, we absolutely have one-to-ones of who we are my charlie still he is mac and it's not close like you are charlie mcclenney by far rob mackle honey rob sorry i said charlie rob mcclenney by far you're glenn howerton uh and me and me and aiden are a mixture together become charlie uh in a lot of different things he says but the same reason that they are no they're very different off the show but the reason it's the whole episode i listened to is about how rob pulls up to the office before the podcast and parks diagonally on purpose across glenn and charlie's parking spaces as a joke uh and then and then to get back him like you know like charlie
Starting point is 01:30:42 pulls up and also parks diagonal like someone whatever whatever. But I was just like, that is such a Ludwig bit. And then the only person who doesn't find it funny is Glenn Dennis. Yeah. And I'm like, this is all slime things. I'm like, no, fuck you. Cause cause you're always fucking in blah, blah, blah. And you think you're above it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:56 You show up late, but you do this and blah, blah, blah. Uh, yeah. One that we are very, don't look at me. You like got me. He like got mad for a moment. Yeah. You look to me. You're like, why the fuck are you parking this car? How dare you do that? It also warmed my heart, he like, I'm mad for a moment. Yeah. You look to me. Why the fuck you part with this?
Starting point is 01:31:05 Real anger. It also warmed my heart to know that their show is funny. Yeah, that is, that is huge. It's always like, it's like, Oh, is this person who's doing this new endeavor just going to fucking not,
Starting point is 01:31:14 not be the person. It also could totally be kind of like trailer park boys, right? Like where they make one of the best TV shows ever, but then everything else they do is just so clearly phoned in and shitty. Yeah. I don't know enough, but I will also say, it's hard as an artist, too, or a creator,
Starting point is 01:31:30 because it's like, okay, well, am I always going to be Ricky, right? Yeah. And there sucks, because people are like, oh, you're Ricky for life now. They chose to be their characters always. Yes.
Starting point is 01:31:39 They did a podcast, and they're in character the whole time, and I'm like, ooh, this is kind of shit. I don't like it. Interesting. That's them as humans now. Yeah. And is that going to be you?
Starting point is 01:31:49 Well, no, because my character is Ludwig and Ludwig is me. So they're separate. And on that note, we say thank you for coming this week. Hey, coming. Back to our normal schedule. Yeah, that's right. Chunky, come be damned. We're going to bring you all the hot yard
Starting point is 01:32:06 content that you deserve. Because you paid money for it. Unless you're watching a YouTube video or listening on a free platform in which you should just give us a nice review. Yeah, but if you want to listen to more content after this, come subscribe to the Patreon. If you want to listen to more PogTent,
Starting point is 01:32:21 if you want to listen to more PogTent, sign up for the to more PogTent sign up for the Patreon when Nick does a rewind bit I die inside you don't like it? he does it too often oh okay we're going to talk about bits that go on too often your whole fucking shtick is too often I'll say that
Starting point is 01:32:35 you know which one I fucking hate the most? the shticks that pay the bills? no you know which one of your I'm actually fucking if you do it one more time we're not friends anymore say it on the primo that pay the bills? No. You know which one of your... I'm actually fucking... If you do it one more time, we're not friends anymore. Right. Stay on the Primo. Oh!
Starting point is 01:32:49 All right, premium episode on the Patreon. Go check it out. We're 1,000 Patreons away from becoming maybe Mushroom Boys. Mario and Luigi. Give them the...
Starting point is 01:32:59 Eamon's cringe. Eamon's super cringe. Eamon's super cringe. Now I'm out. Eamon's super cringe. Yeah, you know his name.

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