The Yard - Ep. 32 - We got invited to an influencer rager...
Episode Date: February 16, 2022This week the boys are accompanied by long time friend Miles aka DonB. They go over the insane Disney party then went to and Aiden confesses being bullied by a group of teenage influencers....
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I don't like doing it.
Why?
It's not something I like doing.
I do it because someone's got to.
That's not true.
And he's the only one talented enough.
I've been doing that one job I've got to do.
What else is a job you gotta do?
Is it loving your friends?
I will say
he
you missed a bad weekend
to deny that he loves his friends.
I feel like I'll say that.
I feel like I did miss
everything.
He missed the first night though.
He missed Friday because he was playing with drunk
games with Mango
because he cares more about his friends
his close friends yeah they all went out
they're like you want to go out I'm not ditching Mango to go to a
party how dare you ask that
with Disney kids
I think it's weird anyway to drink
with Disney children
they weren't children
you said they were Disney kids a surprising amount of them were children children they were Disney you said they were Disney kids
well they were all surprising amount of them which when they were no I feel like
no we get a party surprising low amount of them were children that's crazy
there you guys hit up a party with a bunch of little kids yeah we did it's
time for you didn't hear it A get a He's like you are on the please hear one noise like me. He's actually like you okay crazy
You're the same as a man welcome back to the yard as always we're my god. We're going the pedophile
Benka I told him that no I know we're fucking recording going and recording are different. He's stressed out
Now he's me
stressed out now he's me oh my god i don't even think this does anything let's keep gaslighting nick so i don't have to be just trying to get some things done he's just anxious yeah it sucks
out of focus and everyone's australians keep coming up talking to you and shit huh fucking
dude yeah me and you were the same welcome back to the yard podcast uh where me and all my friends
hang out and talk uh we have miles here today speaking Speaking of friends. Speaking of friends. How are you? I'm great.
I'm going to need to talk a little closer to that microphone, Miles.
I am great.
You need to eat that shit.
How is it?
All right, listen.
This is your last week on Earth.
On real Earth?
That's right.
Yeah.
You're going to be going to inverse bizarro land where the wombats are king.
I'm basically shadow banned after this.
So, yeah, we're having Miles on because it's his last uh last week he's going back to australia he's been uh here with josh man and sock man and they're actually living here for this man
jake man jay man and jake man yeah is that their that's why i call him why when i'm getting everyone
in the car i say jay man jake man Jake-Man. What do you want? It's just Jacob.
No way.
You don't know Sock's name?
He comes out the womb,
and they're like,
we'll call him Sock, I guess.
What are you going to call him?
Oh, I think Sock.
They said Shoe,
and they're like,
no, I need a little bit less than that.
It doesn't work.
This is kind of like last night
where I realized,
I've met Myth so many times,
and I don't know what his first name is.
I learned it last night, too.
I'm going to say Myth every time.
Can I?
When he told me Ollie, I kind of felt like he was trolling me.
Were you going to try to guess?
Did Miles just spoil that for you?
Yeah, but that's okay.
You didn't know?
I wasn't going to try to guess.
I wanted someone to tell me.
It's Ollie?
Yeah.
Yeah, and I didn't really piece it together, because we had people who are not gamers come to the Super Bowl party, right?
So naturally, he does not introduce himself as Myth.
Hey, this is Myth.
I'm Slime.
This is Donyel B.
Socks over there.
People do actually introduce themselves.
We all call you Slime anyway.
People think my name is Don a lot of the time.
Don.
Myth was doing a podcast with QD during the Super Bowl party yesterday.
And at some point during this party, point crow started talking shit about being good
at foursquare which for anyone who knows us even a little bit it's a point of tension in our
household and we were like all right well you think i know you think you're good at this thing
you're not etc etc and he's like let's go settle it right now so everyone in the house leaves to
go play foursquare it's not very we don't make this very clear but myth is the only person who
does not know this
so myth comes back inside from doing the podcast and thinks that everyone has gone home from the
party and calls an uber no because he's like oh they all went home i guess no one told me
and so he calls an uber we come back we're all having fun having a gaffe come back inside we're
like oh what's up myth didn't realize you were still like here and he's like oh i
canceled my uber i guess i hung out a little longer cost goes for four hours though he was
in there for a while yeah he was he was gone for a while and we didn't really know what he was doing
so damn so he thought everyone got raptured probably thought we just like went to bed
there's just holes in the ceiling he's like fuck i didn't make it that sucks i thought it was a
good guy is myth still i he's very nice by the way i'm gonna preface that is the bit. He's like, fuck. I didn't make it? That sucks. I thought I was a good guy. Is Myth still...
He's very nice, by the way. I'm going to preface that.
Is the bit that he's still
never...
No, that's such an old...
Oh, no, no, no. I don't know.
The lore on Myth is that he used to
have a V-card,
both a virginity, but also
a card that was his V-card.
A physical card he'd carry around.
Oh, that's tight.
Yeah.
It's called the California Real ID.
Yeah.
Zipper loved it.
After May 2024, you needed to fly.
And then one day, he just went on stream a few years ago now,
and he just fucking, like, he Thanos snaps,
and it, like, disintegrates, and he's like, that's right.
Oh, that's right.
I got so much pussy last night.
And everyone in chat was like, pog you.
Speaking of young guys getting pussy.
Hold on.
So this story is not about me.
I love.
So he knows exactly what's happening.
Let's contextualize real quick before we get into the festivities, if you will.
I went to Hawaii this weekend.
I went to see my old buddy from high school who does tattoos.
Got a tattoo.
I went with my –
You got a big old horse on you.
Yeah, I got a horse.
I'm a tattoo guy now.
Yeah.
Oh, this?
Whatever.
Get ready for the fucking all the DMs that say, bro, can you send me pictures of it?
I want to see your arm in pictures form all the time.
No.
I get maybe
five or six of those
a week. Because you have one and you've posted it.
I have one guy. They'll do it. But you have
a sleeve. I don't even know what your sleeve
looks like. It's true. I haven't had
time to look at it often. You've never taken
your shirt off. He never hangs out with
his shirt off. He's scared of something. What is happening?
Why am I being gaslit today?
We used to have your shirt off all the time. I was on the shirtless mario party league game he's got weird i was i'm on the
poster i don't remember all these shirts puffy nipples yeah you got puffers you wear that in
the pool or what i have the opposite of puffers they're small they're small uh no go ahead so
you were in hawaii basically i was in hawaii was in Hawaii with my ex-girlfriend now, but we're still close.
We're friends.
We went, and then, yeah, I got this tattoo.
I just, like, ate fish all day, and it was great.
You love fish?
And apparently, I missed the most social weekend that ever occurred in the history of, like,
fucking years.
Can I start from the beginning?
Can we paint the whole night?
Because it is a fucking movie.
Yeah, please.
Because I haven't heard much.
There are like secrets
waiting to be unearthed
because you were sober
It was kind of like
Pulp Fiction.
I have this.
So also my friend Scott
My friend Scott
from Colorado came.
He's like,
hey, I'm going to be down
for this weekend.
I was like,
I'll be gone.
You can sleep in my bed.
Sorry.
And then he sent me
like this picture.
I'm going to censor it with my thumb. You actually sent me like this picture it's i'm gonna censor
it my thumb you get actually can't see anything but it's just amen in the bathroom sitting on
the toilet angrily looking at his phone yeah believe it or not there's like a story behind
why we're in the bathroom and i'm just getting pictures like randomly i'm seeing shit on twitter
and i'm like zam what's happening i'm on an island and so please so so i get a dm from stavros that says hey man it's my birthday and uh i want
to invite all the yard guys out uh to come if you want to come to my birthday it's in highland park
um and it's going to be after my show i'm doing and he's like you're welcome to come to both
and so i message aiden uh because you were in hawaii and you were streaming and i'm like hey
do you want to go to this with me and he was was like, yes, I want to go to the show and the party.
And I'm like, great.
So me and Aiden drive down to Staub's stand-up show.
And opening is Brandon Wardell, which he was very funny.
And then Staub's show is also really good.
We go after the show.
We leave the venue.
And we're sitting, like, outside the store.
And Staub's doing, like, pictures and signing and stuff. And we don't want to, like, we're, like, letting him do letting him do all the fanfare until before we go say, like, hey, what's up?
And one of the people cleaning up the venue
comes out, opens the door,
and looks like...
He looks around,
like, looks around like this
and looks at us and goes,
hey, do you want the comedian's notes?
And then hands us the set notes of Stav's show.
Like, all of his jokes are written on a piece of paper.
And I was like, yeah, sure.
It was cool.
I took it.
And then immediately my head was like,
damn, you stole my luck. Like, I don't need this from stav right i'm not the guy yeah this is not a golden
chalice for you yeah so i'm like i look at it i'm like we shouldn't keep this he's like we shouldn't
keep this so i just look at the girl next to me who's in line to get photos with him and i'm like
do you want this she was very unenthusiastic about it she's like okay like what is it i'm like it's
his nose she's like okay and she took it and she's like held it and then like went back to line gay i was like i was
like cool i mean we didn't want that it's fine um like yada yada we're waiting for this party to
start and in walks hasan myth uh austin and a few others and and nick oh yeah it was a guy we didn't
know uh named nick yeah because they all know stop it a guy we didn't know named Nick. Yeah, because they all know Stob. It was funny.
We didn't expect people in that world to show up to this.
So we hung out with them for most of the night.
At some point in the night, they were like, hey, do you want to come with us to a party?
And I had heard remnants that there was a party at T-Pain's house.
Because before we were leaving, Cutie was like, me and Maya are thinking about going to T-Pain's party.
Because T-pain was having
a party that night yeah and they were like if we go you can come and then they were like there's
also some sort of disney party and i was like okay just let me know what's going on the whole
weekend maya just walks around she's like yeah i'm texting t-pain's wife everybody's been talking
about t-pain i haven't seen him yeah the whole time whole time. I'm starting to think that Miles is coming here.
T-Pain's coming to our Super Bowl party. This is a collective operation to convince Miles that we're all friends with T-Pain.
Yeah.
You guys should have picked someone like.
I wouldn't believe like one echelon off.
He also flaked yesterday.
He was supposed to come yesterday.
I just keep hearing T-Pain is going to show up places and he's not.
Can I be honest?
Yeah.
T-Pain. Shmeepin., and he's not. Can I be honest? Yeah. T-Pain?
Shmeepain.
Shmeepain!
Wow.
Hold on, hold on.
It doesn't get me out of bed.
The old silly me, the old foolish me was like T-Pain, Shmeepain, and then I watched that
Tiny Desk concert, and I was like...
Is it hard?
Oh, shit.
Yeah?
It's fucking sick.
I think any celebrity that starts streaming on Twitch loses a little allure to me. Yes.
Because we're so jaded and cool.
I still think T-Pain's cool, but part of me is just like
more accessible now.
And that makes me a little less excited.
Coming down to the greasy content bond.
I'm not staying in Hollywood anymore.
I am going to get T-Pain to our house.
Your content overalls on.
When I get T-Pain to our house, you have to stay in your room the whole time.
I will not do that.
Me and T-Pain will become friends.
No, because you just said shmipain.
I'm the oldest in the goddamn room.
I'm going to play this clip.
I'm going to play this clip
where you go T-Pain shmipain,
and I'm going to say,
yeah, he's in the room the whole time.
He could buy a drink when they made that song.
T-Pain was cool.
Can you auto-tune it at least?
Do you think there actually were
200 ugly women at that bar
there's no shot absolutely not no one of them had to be a six they're saying
look so we're at stavros's birthday and hasan extends an invite to me and aiden to this party
they're going to and aiden looks at me he's like do you want to go to this in my head i'm like not
really but it's only like 10 30 and i'm like nothing has happened here
what did i say i was like because i don't want to make you stay out really late and he's like
no i need some podcast stories like it was very very utilitarian i was getting there i was like
nothing had happened tonight that had like i had for the show and nothing had happened that week
at all either so i was like yeah let's go and once i get a story i'll leave and nothing had happened that week at all either. So I was like, yeah, let's go. And once I get a story,
I'll leave.
And I was like,
that was my goal for the night.
I was like,
I'm going for a single podcast story.
I wanted to go for the love of the game.
He walks around like a beat reporter with like,
okay.
And so are you taking any drugs?
There's something funny.
Maybe Dylan's process.
What?
So we,
so we're there.
And I think,
wait,
is this the Disney kids party?
I thought we were going to T-Pain's party.
Oh, yeah.
And we end up going to a Disney Channel stars party, who I don't know.
So you guys described this to me as the Disney kids party.
And I'm like, don't say that.
To be clear, they're just to clarify ages.
Don't say that.
Just to clarify ages.
They're like 23.
Well-
They're 23.
Well, we'll get there.
Stop putting an asterisk on this.
I'm telling this story honestly.
I'll take over when Nick tells the meeting.
So at this point,
me and Aiden are just rolling with
whatever crew we walk in
and run into. Whatever five-year-olds you see.
Whatever five-year-olds.
There's a lot of really young kids and then there's a few 60-year-olds you see whatever five-year-old whatever you're picking them up like and it's like there's like there's a lot of really young kids and then there's like there's a few like 60 year old guys right no that's that was that was that's they came with the kids uh
but they're not near a school so everyone can hang out together yeah it's why the location was
chosen during this little during this little thing austin uh austin show comes up to me and
says like uh hey do me and you have beef?
Good.
And I start laughing.
And he watched the episode where I outlined our beef.
And he was like, let's squash our beef.
And so we talked it out.
And we have squashed our beef successfully from this conversation.
You with the whole Ludwig thing?
Me and Austin.
Yeah.
He didn't give me a good explanation.
He said he didn't remember it, which is worse.
But we figured it out. It didn't give me a good explanation. He said he didn't remember it, which is worse. But we figured it out.
It doesn't matter.
So we ended up driving with Austin to this Disney Channel party.
Hey, you guys want to go to the kids?
I know some kids.
I show up.
Oh, dude, don't do that to Austin.
He's too deep in the RuneScape scene for that.
Beef resigned.
So we show up to this party, and I instantly show up,
and the first thing I see, literally first thing my eyes lay on,
is Scott and Miles are there.
Yeah.
No way.
Through the crowd.
Through the crowd.
Because when we left, we didn't know Scott was coming that night.
So Scott and Miles are there, and there's no more tickets
or things to get in to stop show.
So we just go on our own right
so in my head i'm like oh that's too bad they won't be out tonight and then we walk i'm already
drunk like for nick for nick this is a sober experience but for me like several drinks fresh
out of this bar aiden's already tried to kiss me i look through like a c it's like a movie because
it's well lit in the backyard and i look through the sea of people that sort of parts and then
there's miles with a backward hat on.
And he kind of looks up at me like this.
I'm commanding the beer bottle.
And I just.
Drains a shot, looks over.
I just run over.
I just run over and give Miles a hug.
And then I look to my left and I'm like, that's a girl I've seen on Disney Channel for like six years.
Like 10 feet to Miles' left.
Miles comes up to me like we're at a
smash fest he's just like yo what's up and i'm like dude this is i'm like this is about to be
the best fucking night ever i can't believe i was so excited i was just writing it down
i'm like yes yeah the way it happened is that at uh at our place it was it was cutie and maya
and they were going out and uh and it eventually landed that they would go to this Disney party as well,
separately.
And they were like, oh, Miles Scott, you want to go?
And I know this because they all went downstairs.
And they were like, do you want to go?
And I'm not streaming, but I told Mango I'd play games.
And I look at them, and I'm like, Disney party.
And then I look over at Mango,
and it's like a full Miller Lite that I'll have to drink.
And I'm like, I'm staying here.
Yeah.
You really did.
You hunkered down in the trench
and defended the front.
Yeah, I held it down.
And I won 500 bucks, by the way.
That was my night.
I got crazy.
Dude, I'm getting a call from Scott.
How does 500 bucks make you feel these days?
When it's from Mango, amazing.
Feels like a million bucks.
It's the sentiment that counts.
Because Mango does this thing
where if I owe him money,
he just never wants it to be paid out. So's like this so we can always it's like this tension that's
like always anchoring me and then when i get rid of it i'm like for lacs he just we have never paid
him i have it all on tab i have it marked on the spreadsheet i'm like i just have mango rule we owe
him nine thousand dollars yeah but that's from the new lacsS yeah he actually gambled away his winnings on
the cloud on the blockchain
and then he gambled it away vicariously
through me gambling on stream
the IRS is going to have to sift through a lot of
mango roll notes in the books
the IRS agent he's like
oh it's a mango situation
oh I see yeah article 3 section 4
it's a guy in a suit at the IRS
headquarters he's watching you guys play Beerio.
He's like, okay, yeah, that's definitely $500.
He's like tracking it.
Actually, let him give him $100.
Well, okay, so wait.
Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
But I'm trying to put...
I am the viewer here.
Yeah.
Because I also...
I got a call.
I'm literally on the beach.
I went to the beach.
That was really nice.
I went in the water. I never thought of you as a beach guy. Well, I was like, you know what? I'm here. I'm doing new things. I'm literally on the beach. I went to the beach. That was really nice. I went in the water.
I never thought of you as a beach guy.
Well, I was like, you know what?
I'm here.
I'm doing new things.
I'm trying new things.
I'm getting a horse on me.
And I was like, I will go to the water.
And it was actually really beautiful.
And I'm walking away.
I'm going back to the hotel.
And you have to walk up this tiny little beach.
And Scott's desperately trying to get a
hold of me he's like no one's at the house i can't get in the fucking thing can you like call
and figure something out i'm like was he already with me yes i can i think he was he was oh you
were the one who called the gate yeah and i was like okay i'll call the gate and i did you know
fucking airdropped from hawaii and uh and then i was, go with God. And I just kept living my life.
Anthony calls,
Aloha.
Yeah.
Mahalo.
Thank you.
So, okay.
We're back.
You see Miles.
How did you get there?
So we started,
Scott got to my place
at about 11.
My place?
AM.
No, he went to there.
Airbnb.
No, he went to there first.
Okay.
I was like,
oh, you're in a little.
He's comfortable now. It's been a week. It's his place now. I was like, he's comfortable now.
It's been a week.
It's his place now.
I've been sleeping on the Joe downstairs
and that's kind of my thing now.
It's Miles.
It's the bear in front,
like the mom I threw up bear,
but he's like,
hey, can I borrow his shirt?
Yeah, we were making this joke last night.
It's Miles wearing my shirt,
asking to borrow a shirt.
Your room is full of merch that you will never wear or see. It's true. Your room is full of merch
that you will never wear or see.
It's true.
This house is full of clothes.
It's wasteful, isn't it?
It is.
It makes me want to die.
Wow.
You guys just have a pipeline
to China or what?
Like, where's it coming from?
We're working on it.
The biggest pipeline
is all the...
You get sent
a bunch of free shit.
That is actually the pipeline.
So, Life with Ludwin
and Daniel.
Yeah. Life with Ludwin and Daniel. Yeah.
Life with Ludwin includes people sending him products
praying that he just one day shows it in front of a camera
and says something mildly positive about it.
So, there's just boxes, clothes.
Boxes of shit.
It's like a kid on Christmas, but every day is Christmas
and they're just giving him Game Boys.
He's not excited.
No, no.
He's just...
It's like sent from fans.
It's a terrible shirt. It's weird, isn't it? are like, he's just, some are like sent from fans, like terrible shirts.
It's weird,
isn't it?
Christmas is,
Christmas with no dopamine.
You get like more free shit.
Like I,
now I shouldn't,
I should be like paying for things I want.
The more money you have,
the more free things you get.
It's very inverse.
Yeah,
we were talking about it though.
The risk reward,
if you're the person sending it,
is just super in your favor.
The value proposition is insane.
just send him one,
because on the off chance that he wears it,
there's just no downside of you sending it.
I have a sweatshirt from a credit card brand.
What is that?
I mean, if it says TJX6, it's kind of hard.
We walk around in the background.
I'm just, shmeep, looking for something to wear.
Look, how'd you get there?
How'd you get to that party?
So Scott arrives at my house, 11 o'clock.
Josh starts streaming Dark Souls.
We're like, well we plan to drink but the brewery isn't open.
So we'll go get a couple of beers, come back and start watching Dark Souls.
And we come up with this great idea. We got Modellos. They look kind of yellow like the Estes flask in Dark Souls.
Josh isn't great at the game.
And that item heals you. So he's doing a lot of healing. We're doing a lot of drinking.
Everything is healing.
And it is before midday. Dude, that's a great drinking game if you're watching someone's doing a lot of healing. We're doing a lot of drinking. Everything is drinking. And it is before midday.
Dude, that's a great drinking game
if you're watching someone
Yeah, and we're all hanging out
in the back of his stream
shirtless,
just like encouraging him
being like,
hey, you don't really need
to drink another Estesia, man.
You can just fight the boss.
You can just go back
to the bonfire.
You're just live viewers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, so we're doing that
and we're getting pretty drunk
and I look at Scott
and I'm like,
bro, we are drunk.
We're not going to make,
like, I've seen this story
when guys go at this pace
and it ends before dark.
Yeah.
You guys don't see the sun go down.
Yeah.
So we pumped the brakes a little bit
but we make the trip
all the way over to Ludd's place
and no one's here
except these guys
who are about to leave
and they're like,
we're going to this thing
and we weren't expecting
like them to put,
we weren't expecting
to come with you guys
or anything
but you were on the way out,
we were on the way in and they're like, we're going to this staff thing but it's sold out and we're like, ah, bummer. We expecting, like, them to put... We weren't expecting to come with you guys or anything, but you were on the way out, we were on the way in,
and they're like, we're going to the Starve thing,
but it's sold out.
We're like, ah, bummer.
We'll just keep drinking here.
Cutie was making squash bolognese.
Yeah, she went nuts.
You guys were going to rift with me,
then you guys fucking pee-pee-poof.
We start drinking some wine.
We start playing multiplayer Mario 64.
We get about nine stars.
We go to Womps.
We're having a good time. You know, like, scooby-doo when like uh you see someone in like
a certain area then like you go to like the next door over and they're like they're in that room
with like a wine shirt on now yeah yeah and you're like wait you were just and they're like what are
you talking about that was miles and scott with different alcohol in their hand all night i just
kept finding them and they were still drunk, but with a different drink this time,
like a different brand of drink.
I'll send it to Zipper.
He can show it a little later when he gets it up.
But I got sent a picture of Aiden, Miles, and Scott all in my bed.
So what I will say about the story to preface the ending
is it ends at 4.30 with me and Scott watching Lily Pichu
and eating hot Cheetos in Anthony's bed.
That's where we end up.
The next morning, that's the part where you were like, dude, last time was amazing.
We were watching Lily and the hot Cheetos were so good.
You went to a Disney kids party.
You went to like, we'll get why that experience was so surreal.
There's actually like acts.
There's this evening.
This is the Hamlet of hanging out.
So, so I arrive.
I see miles. I am so happy to see. So I arrive. I see Miles.
I am so happy to see Miles.
Wait, we don't know how they got here.
Oh, right.
Sorry.
So the girls come downstairs and they're like, do you want to come to this party with us?
We're like, anywhere but Womp's Fortress, really.
As long as it's not at Womp's Fortress, I think we're ready to go.
Fair.
So that's it.
By the way, I'll interject really quick.
There's been a very, very cute and cherished bond that has occurred between the three Australians
that are staying here and Cutie Cinderella. She likes us. quick there's been a very very cute and cherished bond that has occurred between the three australians
that are staying here and cutie cinderella because because you guys you guys are very sociable and uh
and they they will like all go on walks together so it's like cutie will take swift out and then
durs in the walk for australians yeah and then you have the three of them on the leash in a
backpack they haven't had sunlight in like 48 hours.
They're like, oh, cutie.
I don't know. I can't stay out too long, but I'll go.
And yeah, they'll go on walks.
They'll all hang out.
They'll come.
It's like cutie and the three of them watching train together.
And it's just like.
She's Olimar and we're Pikmin.
Yeah.
She does the whistle and we just all follow.
It's very.
It's a bond I never expected.
It's like Troy and Abed happening in the second.
Yeah, I walked down one morning.
I walked down one morning.
And the stairs, like, come by Lud and Cutie's room.
And I look in.
And Cutie's, like, lying in bed with Josh.
Like, just laid up like this beside her.
And they're just gabbing.
Doing girl talk.
Really?
Girl talk?
Girl talk?
Josh sometimes just walks in the room.
He's a bit of a he's a bit of a
menace he is a menace but it's charming I'll be so fucking busy and he hasn't seen me all day and
he thinks it's special yeah and I'm just like trying to do a lot of shit he's like hey how's
it going and he like touched my chest and I'm like but I love him last night he was brute forcing so
many of those situations with just max charisma. Just passing tests that like no one, everybody else,
it's like if any other dude is doing this,
it's just trolling.
They get kicked out the party.
Yeah, literally.
He was like yelling,
like being abrasive and shit.
I've never seen a man who is so charismatic
that he turns around negative opinions like that.
He like solved it by the end of the evening.
Yeah, he's the Rubik's Cube of being a lad.
Okay, go ahead anyway
so we're at we're getting in the uber and i tell scott i'm like what's i bet you we see nick i call
it and he's like no chance no shot and i was like i just feel it in my plums nick and aiden are
gonna be at this party because they said they were going to a party i feel like we're gonna find and
it's la and there's only one. At some point in 2019,
me and Miles developed a radar system
that just starts to beep when we're close.
It's like we have a tile.
When Miles was here a couple years ago,
you were visiting,
Mike had unlimited data on his phone,
and he considered you like,
or you considered him like the most cherished party member
in your RPG class because he had Tether.
Everyone brings a different buff.
Tether is hotspot.
He's like insane racial passive.
You bring the buff of always being sober.
Yes.
So if I'm drunk somewhere
and I don't have,
because I never have internet here
when I'm in America,
I can't call anyone.
But I know if Anthony is like within my range,
he has like an aura and I'm safe.
Yeah, yeah.
So you guys,
this is how I imagine aiden and nick seeing
uh miles it's a slow zoom imagine again people passing by and this song starts playing
it's how i felt the party slows down yeah and it's a slow motion and it's a beer pong shot and
it just goes in dude miles turns with his wearing his backwards hat. He's wearing his backwards hat. He turns and I'm just like,
and he's equally as happy to see me.
This is good because I did end up kissing Miles.
Yeah, that happened.
All right.
So we're back.
We're back.
Okay.
So we're at the party.
We're having a good time.
Me, Scott Gaming, these guys down there too.
And we're hanging out.
And then things start people start
getting a little drunk but what i start noticing in my car you know me i'm talking to randoms i'm
introducing myself and if you're foreign it's just free let's be real you have an accent you just
walk up you go hey mates being australians like the same as being in a disney movie you just talk
about the same 40 intro lines because everybody everybody says the same
goddamn thing they're like I like your accent or like where are you from I really want to go to
Australia but like it's so dangerous down there man like I'm like you guys have guns
there's not a fucking lizard that's gonna pop out and be more dangerous than an AR
like they're like I just can't like work myself up to go because the spiders are big bro justin bieber's party was last night
let the shots ring
i'm like yeah but those spiders though anyway i'm talking to random people and some of them
i tell like yeah i don't tell the kid who comes up this kid comes up to me he's with his two
friends i'm like how you doing, man?
Like, what's going on?
And he's like, not much, man.
You know how it is.
Just after that pussy.
And he's like a tall, like, blonde, classic, like, California kid.
How old do we think that is?
No, we'll get there.
He looks like Surfin' Nipah.
Picture Puka Shell Nipah.
He's at the function.
We're chatting.
And I'm like, that's cool, man, that you're really after that puss.
You got a girl.
He's telling me that specifically.
I'm saying I have a girlfriend.
His two friends are like, do we both have girlfriends?
He's like, girlfriends are cringe, man.
I'm after that strange.
Anyway, I'm like, how old are you?
And he tells me a number that would likely still be in high school.
Potentially.
His quote exactly was, I'm 17, but I'm telling people I'm 23.
That's what he said.
And Miles tells me this.
And I go, so many felonies are being committed.
Miles asked him, he was like, so you have to go to school in two days. And he was like so you have to you have to go to school
in two days
and he was like
yeah
there are 30 year olds
at this party
yeah there are
also older people
I think it's important
to emphasize
that this kid
was one
lying about his age
to nobody else there
like everybody else
he told me so quickly
like he wasn't
doing a very good job
no yeah
that's also such a sick story if you go back to your fucking middle school.
Yeah.
You went to that party.
You're like, yeah, me and Selena Gomez.
Yeah.
Fucking, you know.
Yeah, because he didn't want to tell you at first, right?
Like, he kind of wanted to tell you, but he didn't.
I warmed him into it a little bit.
Yeah.
Anyway, he's like, yo, I'm looking for that pussy, man.
I'm like, oh, okay.
I'm like, you're on a bit of a clunch quest?
He's like, and then I, because his friends're in a bit of a clunch quest? And he's like, he's like,
and then I,
because his friends
have been embarrassed about it
and I started getting really vulgar.
I'm like,
so you're just off to that more,
really.
You're trying to get into a little slot.
You're trying to like
make him feel a little weird.
And he was like,
and then it worked.
He was like,
this is kind of gross.
And I'm like,
oh, I'm being gross?
I love when they're frothing at the gas. Yeah, I'm like, you're looking for a being I'm loving the froth and the gas
yeah I'm like
looking for a little
gas
little action
and he's just like
no no snatch
right come on
and he's like
I don't think
I want to anymore
I scared him straight
scared straight
pussy edition
I think there was this
I had this really
like
I think there was this
like nice
happy realization
I had in my head
because we sort of like filtered we start at the back which is in the backyard and then go through
the rest of the house right and slowly realize that a bunch of people we know are there like
it's a bunch of like people from like twitch and youtube that we we personally know right yeah and
um and then also as you go through the party you start to like recognize other random people uh like other youtubers who are not like a part of the gaming world at all and i i think i have
this uh this really nice feeling in the past where when i've brought friends together from like
different parts of my life and they like meet each other and they get to experience that for
the first time and i get to watch it like that makes me really really happy it's like these two
eras of my life coming together we're so we're so the opposite because that makes me insanely
stressed out because i'm always like well what if they hate each other yeah and now i gotta live in
that world makes me so happy but you're always like oh it'll be all right i turn into aiden when
it's good and i turn into slime when it's bad maybe he's always himself he doesn't like bad
thing and he likes good things that's right yeah but i simple man really and
there was this moment in the party where okay so scott scott who's with us um that uh we all know
from like playing playing melee together he's my friend from colorado who i met and then he
actually introduced me to all the smash guys that i met and then made all the friends he was like
my nick ingling in a way yeah so and scott's a really really nice like personal guy really easy
to get along with and we affectionately call him scott gaming right and in my head like i'm sitting
at the back of the party and i'm like kind of drunk i'm kind of feeling it i'm like i look over
and i see scott gaming right there and i look to my left and i see woman who was on the disney
channel and then i look slightly more to my left it's it's our twitch friends and then a little
more to the left like a travel blogger that i watch and i'm like they're all here together
and then you say funky calm and he's holding a boom box this this party was much like a weird
dream you have yeah yeah like when you think about the group of people that's together it's like yeah
this group of people comes together sometimes in you're at a really nice house but not so nice that you haven't been there before and you're
like i've been here at one point but i don't remember where when and and this story didn't
happen there but it isn't my dream and all these different people i've seen in media are all on the
same plate like like dylan sprouse was there okay i'm gonna throw out some names i want one
sprouts means nothing to me i want some yes to me a lot of means nothing to you because
you grew up with spiders with life bars.
We had snakes.
All right.
Jeanette McCurdy.
No.
No.
Okay.
What are these names?
I'm naming people who were there.
None of the haters, bro.
I don't think you will.
None of the haters?
No, no, no.
It's not like.
The only person in that era who was there was Dylan Sprouse.
Okay.
Got it.
Yeah, yeah.
Dylan Sprouse was it.
But he was the Drake of this party.
Right. Yeah. The guy. okay i think yeah yeah everyone else is just but he was like drake of this party right yeah the guy
karen was the guy whose party it was and then peyton list who's also like a disney channel
star they all have disney she was she was there and then i apparently l mills was there who's
like a really cool youtuber and then uh the youtuber the travel blogger guy kind of that
i introduced myself to was uh luke korns and he used to make like kind of like
comedy videos when he was young but now he makes really interesting videos about like traveling he
doesn't really live anywhere he just like travels places and makes videos about it Aiden knows this
because he asked for their name five times head count give me a head count rough head count I
think probably like maybe like just over a hundred yeah maybe like a hundred just bumping it was
bumping it was pretty packed it was yeah okay do they only play disney songs dude they skipped mr brightside oh yeah they just
skipped it was really fun interesting to throw on xenon's theme yeah no zoom zoom zoom by protozoa
yeah my heart goes boom okay i think hold on what what part are you going to right now
so i i want to i know exactly what part you're going to i really quick while this is happening i so i i meet uh i'm with will neff who's also here yeah and will neff like has
a moment where he like gasps and says that's the star of cobra kai in points and there's a the the
lead the lead uh kid from cobra kai uh jacob something um and uh jacob bertrand jacob cobra
and uh he's like i have to meet him i fucking love that show i've never seen it but i'm just like yeah i'll go with you and uh i go with him and will has his moment
with uh with jacob and then he talks to me a little bit too and uh i just like somehow was
just like oh i i like play melee and like do other stuff and he is super into melee in like an actual
way oh yeah yeah you told me he's like saying like all the like short hop all the terms like
i play marth like and i'm just like, this is kind of nuts.
Yeah, Fsmash.
He tells me he plays Marth.
You knew about Wavetown.
I did instantly.
Oh, true.
He said Marth.
He said Marth.
And I'm so disconnected from, like, I've never seen this show.
I don't really know this person.
I'm so disconnected.
The first thing I said out of my mouth was just like, like, really, man?
Why?
As a joke, right?
As a joke, of course.
And he took it as a joke.
He realized, because he has, like, enough context game um so i'm i'm meeting this person and this is happening at the
exact same time that this happens to aiden which is happening inside the house okay so me me and
scott have been in line for the bathroom we're waiting we get cut once just by accident right
like somebody walks in before this but i really need to fucking go and i'm i'm sad but then this
like posse of people
comes up it's like four people and it's three girls and one guy think the canker sisters got it
yeah and and one of them uh one of them talking to me if the door opens they're like like we really
need to go you should let us go and i'm like sorry we've already been cut like i want to go
like i don't want to i don't want to not go to the bathroom again this is a really like normal
interaction up until this point and then they're like well she looks me dead in the eyes and she's
like if you want to stop asian hate you will let us cut in the line what and one of them's asian
and okay i was gonna say i was going to say, what a gamble.
And I was like, look, I won't do that.
But if you want, like jokingly, if you want, me and Scott here will go at the same time.
But then she's like dead ass.
Not enough.
You should do that.
Oh, God.
And they're not laughing.
I try to make a joke out of it.
I'm like, yeah, we can go in there. We'll like cross the streams for a second we'll see what happens like just
just some bullshit right and she's kind of like you know get along and then i was just like all
right and i pull scott into the bathroom with me and neither of them are and i'm really uncomfortable
because i don't know how to deal with people when When I'm drunk, especially, this happens to me when I'm sober. But if I encounter a person who in real life
that I like is just mean
and I can't figure out why,
I'm like, it's my nightmare.
It's I have no way to connect.
Neither of them are over five too, by the way.
Yeah, they're so much shorter than me.
And I'm just like looking at them.
I'm like, I'll go to the bathroom now.
Can you fight like a hundred like horse-sized
or duck-sized horses? But it's three of them and they're just dicing you up their words yeah yeah
i'm getting i'm getting beat in conversation okay now so so is it is it you and scott and he's on
top on your legs and you're sitting on the toilet and you guys are both crying you're like we're
stopping it bro we're doing our best was ready scott was like we are going to stand and pee at
the same time and i was like look i pee sitting down and I need you to know that. So we took
turns. We've like filmed that weird video I sent to you. And then, and then we leave the bathroom,
but this group, we later outside, it's me and Scott together again. It's me, Scott and Hassan.
And then this group rolls up again and I start talking talking to them. And we get the main girl who is mean.
Because her friends are honestly pretty nice.
Is the mean person, this is important for context, is she Asian?
No.
Well, there's two of them that are mean.
One of them is.
She's not white either.
Which plays a part in this
next conversation she's not asian but she's also not or she looks white but she's not white all
right and we're having a conversation we're standing outside and it's me scott hassan they
roll up on the right main girl standing right here she looks at me and she's like can you grab me
some lemons because we're standing under a lemon tree.
And in my head, I was like, finally, common ground.
Like, I can do this task for you and we'll get along.
I will serve you, yes.
And I grab her a lemon.
I was like, how many do you want?
She's like, two.
It's very normal interaction.
Like, this is all pleasant.
This all makes sense when you're drinking lemon tea.
And then we break it in.
We get into like a conversation about like what everybody's doing like where where people are from or something
and then she says something like oh my dad is from dubai and my mom is from uh x i can't remember
and then i just like you know conversationally i say oh that's cool like have you been to the
uae like i i went one time and i thought it was pretty cool and she was like what
and then i was like whoa and then she's like that's really offensive and then she just like why why would you say that
but she's deadpan she and I and I'm still I'm so drunk dude I'm like I'm trapped I I this is
like super effective as well because you are so focused on being considerate. As a person,
you're like... And I asked her,
I was like, I'm sorry, what did
I say? And I don't understand.
And she's just like, don't do that.
And I was like, what do you mean?
And I'm looking at Hasan
and I'm like, do you... Like, help me.
Please, tall man.
Please get me out of this jam.
And then they kind of of and then they just bail
again like they leave this interaction is more extent this is my drunk recollection as best as
possible to what happened but it's backed up because scott scott and hassan were there the
whole time and they leave and i look at them i was like please tell me that was as weird as i think
it was like why why were they like fucking with me like that and hasan was just like i don't know
man like i think young people's humor is just really weird like and i i start to catch wind
that aiden is getting bullied by a traveling group of women yeah i have now had two terrible
interactions i start to get wind of the party it's like it's like whispering down through groups that
aiden has been being bullied all night and i'm like that's hilarious yeah this this is somehow
making it around the party that i'm having like continuous negative interactions with these people and uh their their saga continues
let me tell the rest of the story add what you're gonna add what is insane is i didn't see these
girls or interact with them at all throughout the night so i only ever heard about it secondhand and
when you and scott gaming went into the bathroom together i was like well they're just crossing streams yeah i saw it
from a distance but was like two guys got to go at the same time it's really funny they're saving
space and time i need to emphasize like how how weird it is that miles missed them because they
are the most common thread in everyone's collective stories from that evening because we we hung out
with people from that party like later this weekend later that night and everybody is talking about this same group
of people that like apparently had negative interactions with others as well they truly
were the cankers miles just managed to dodge this the entire fucking my vibes are radiating
so powerfully he's so positive that they come up. So charged up at the party.
Yeah, they step in and they instantly get 50% slow.
No, we can't do this.
We can't flash in here.
His AOE when he hits a beer pong shot, just blasts them out.
By the way, if you pee with someone, you have to cross streams in the future.
It's just like a homey thing.
I can't believe you guys didn't do it.
He's surely a pecker anyway.
It's not like you're unable to stand and pee, right?
At that moment, you were being selfish. When was the last time I stood and peed?
Look, he was stressed.
I get it.
He was being bullied.
I was shook.
Yeah, but you could have bonded.
I'm just giving you advice for the future.
Okay.
Okay, look, look, look, look.
So, at some point in this party, most of the people who live in the Envy house are there.
And they're like, hey, we're going to leave.
This is kind of weird.
We're going to go to our place. Do you guys all want to come hang out? And it was like, they weren't having another party they're like, hey, we're going to leave. This is kind of weird. We're going to go to our place.
Do you guys all want to come hang out?
And it was like, they weren't having another party.
It was just like, we're going to go hang out here.
It's nearby.
And we're like, that sounds great.
Envy's the esports organization.
Yeah, the esports organization, Envy.
So like, you know, Boat Test Sisters live here.
Minx lives here, et cetera.
They live there, like where they sleep?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where they live.
It's recent.
It's also known to be haunted.
It's the barn. Apparently it's haunted. It's the barn that recent. It's also known to be haunted. It's the barn.
It's the barn that miles.
It's the one we talked about.
It's a really nice barn.
Yeah.
Haunted by the weekend.
They live there.
They do content.
Well, okay.
So anyway, we end up –
The weekend's ghost.
Everyone is the real them until they enter the house.
So we go over and we're hanging out.
And at this point point the night has
is winding down it's much more chill now nothing else is really happening and uh in the kitchen
there's like a separate party of people that's hanging out and i sort of at some point migrate
over there and introduce myself to all these people and one of them is a girl i recognize
one of them is a girl who like i have like a new friend i made recently and he was telling
me about one of his best friends, which is her.
And, like, I saw them in pictures.
I also kind of already knew who she was.
So I was like, oh, we have, like, a mutual friend.
I should go introduce myself.
So I did.
And I was like, hey, we have this mutual friend.
I don't know if you really know me, but it's interesting.
We had, like, a pretty decent conversation just surrounding that we have a mutual friend.
I, after this conversation, come back over to where Aiden and Miles are.
And Aiden spots that group across the party and says that's the girl that's the girl from the other house and i'm and
i realized like oh that's the girl i just oh i know her and so all of this starts to piece together
that like i know her i know now who's been bullying aiden yeah like i know who she is i know her
friends like her background no one else here knows who that person is,
but me and the only person
who knows that is.
So they made it to the Envy.
They made it there.
And no one at this point
knows how they got there.
No, no, no.
We found out.
At this point,
no one knows how they got there.
And there's only like 11 people
at this house.
Like there's not,
it's not a party.
Yeah.
Someone invited them.
Drunk me is in the corner
of the room looking over at the other side of the house not a party. Yeah, it's just a small party. Someone invited them. Drunk me is in the corner of the room
looking over at the other side of the house
like a cat.
They followed me.
They found me again.
Like, motherfucker.
They picked me up.
They're gonna pick me up again.
They're gonna fuck with you more.
It's like, it's eight people you know
and then the three wackest people from the party.
And so I'm like, oh, wow.
This is so much more interesting now
because in my head,
these are just random traveling people again Nick with his beat writer
Also, I also think it's important to have a different experience her friends really nice. Yes, there's four
Weird it was only she was really mean I'd like to throw out a theory. Yeah, I think Nick invited them for podcast stories
Yes, he said okay. I'm gonna get you guys an uber. uber this is the address yeah you're gonna show up the guy in the pink shirt you need to bully him fucking wish i fucking
wish i had that wherewithal to do that uh so so uh we're we're all just hanging out here um and uh
uh at this minks comes up to me and she she's untwisting a bottle of Patron. She's looking at me. And she has this incredibly, like, angry face.
And I'm like...
She's just Irish.
I'm like...
Don't do that.
So the first thing I said was,
are they after your lucky charms?
And she didn't like that.
So I'm like, are you okay?
What's wrong?
Because she, like, lives here.
I want to make sure nothing's happening.
And she won't respond.
And she just keeps untwisting the Patron and at this point i'm like surely it opens by now
i was gonna say which is weird because patrone is a pop out i know and she's twisting the cork
in a circle she's just twisting the cork in a circle she's looking at me all menacingly and
i'm like did i do did i do something to you i'm like are you okay and she she's like i'll tell
you later and i'm like i'm like i want to know now i don't like
that you're gonna tell me that i want to know now and i realize it's because this group has
showed up and they are apparently causing problems here too now and minx lives here and uh and so i
don't know this at the moment austin show comes over and he is in like full dad mode he's like
i'm going to handle what's happening so he comes over it but he's not handling anything he's just asking makes friends with them they said drinking and shit he's just
asking these girls questions with with a rude tone like he comes over and he's like so who are you
he is he's a he's a devout karen and he'll call like like airline services if he doesn't get like
you know like his 50 discount that he's like that oh he'll do it
he'll do it he'll go nuts he'll go stupid i think you you summed it up really well you came out of
that party you were like austin is just like a really kind and like personable guy in every
circumstance right he's really good listener yeah and he and that cutie was stressing that point too
is like i literally don't think i've ever seen austin get like that like in in that specific
like that angry at a group
of people but that's like the max he can get he doesn't yeah he doesn't like disrespect he was
talking to me about a little bit and he comes over and he's like so who are you to the girl
it was very it was very clearly like targeted and mean or not mean i shouldn't say mean he was angry
and uh and she just instantly starts fucking with him she's like uh oh i have an only fans
and like she was like saying it's her job and he's like oh and he believes her
in this moment
and I know she is
and I'm like
you're being owned
but I don't want to interject
oh so she's capping
she's capping
she's a million and oh
conversationally
everyone is getting owned
in her perspective
if this is all a video game
she definitely won
like she definitely
got to the end of the game
it's actually crazy
because her and all her friends
have stolen apples
from their kitchen
from like the
Envy House kitchen and they're all eating apples at the same time.
And it's like they were just eating lemons at the last house.
It's like it powers them.
It's like if they don't continuously find fruit, they're witches.
If they don't continuously find fruit, they power off.
It's a 30-minute cool down after every fruit.
And so they're eating apples.
Minx is really mad that they're eating her food but also not being good guests.
And Austin's just like, so how'd you get here? and i'm in the middle of all of it like this is
crazy like so i'm i'm still trying to piece all of it together so i'm just like oh you're but you
i thought you were you're a friend of a really nice person i know and and uh so then so then
they they say to me this is probably the most condescending thing i heard all night from them
specifically uh she was like do you live
do you guys live here she points to our whole group and austin's not saying a word to them he's
so mad at them uh and we're like no no and they're like can one of you show me one of the bedrooms
here and uh we're like why and she's like well i just feel like someone who lives in like a house
this big like can't have a cool room i just want to like see the room they were shitting on the
house a lot they were shitting on it a lot a lot. Don't you know this is fucking haunted by the weekend?
They bring him to the satanic closet.
They're like, yeah, this is one of the bedrooms.
Shut it.
The weekend fucking awesome.
They're just screaming.
Yeah, so me refusing to be owned.
I'm just replying.
I'm just like, damn, that's crazy.
What's your house look like?
And so she's just like like well we're just like
like having this non-conversation game we're playing and austin is fuming and so she takes
it under her own wing to go with her friends to just go look at the rooms in the house they're
all closed doors go spread out she starts looking to find bedrooms and so they just run downstairs
so mad they just they just run downstairs and everyone sort of forgets they exist for just a
full-story house so you can be really far away
There's an elevator in the house
It's like a big fucking house
And at some point there's a big crash
From the downstairs
You see a big crash and you see instantly
You see Cutie Cinderella
Will Neff and like two other people
Just start running downstairs
And I know Cutie
She's not running to see what broke.
She's running to handle this group.
And so I'm like, oh, fuck.
Do I need to get involved?
Am I going to have to break something up?
I'm like, whatever.
Whatever happens, happens.
It's like Evangelion, and they're running,
and their plugs come off.
It's like...
Cutie orders all of them outside and sits them down on the curb like a like a parent
and starts screaming at all of them like she's lecturing all of them oh my god and she gets
crazy like not crazy in a bad way like she's just like like owning them yeah and the main girl like
tries to like get in cutie's face and like tries to fight
but cutie has like a foot on her so cutie's looking at her like a like a cabbage patch doll
and she's like what what dude and will will is just sitting there just like like behind the
curtain like like like just like cowering almost and there's one more person i can't remember her
name but there's one more person who's there. And she tries to take a picture.
No, it's Minx.
She tries to take a picture of this all happening outside.
For some reason, they're not outside with her.
They probably should have been with her,
but they're inside.
They're letting mom handle it.
But her flash goes off.
So the flash goes off and they have this picture still.
I'm going to ask Minx to send it to us.
You like an Instagram photo of someone from 100 weeks ago.
It's this hilarious picture of Will Neff
like trying to hide once the flash, because there's like a one second It's this hilarious picture of Will Neff like trying to hide
once the,
because there's like
a one second buffer window.
So it's Will Neff like this
and it's him
in complete lightness
because the flash
has gone off
and it's QT outside
like yelling
at all these teenagers.
It's the most epic photo ever.
Renaissance painting.
And so,
and so this girl
who's trying to fight QT now
removes her jacket and puts it on the floor.
And a bunch of belongings of the house fall out that she has stolen from the house.
No fucking way.
Yeah.
So she's just stolen a bunch of shit from the house.
It all just falls out.
And Cutie's just looking at it like, you were stealing?
Like random shit, too.
Like she sold Mix's valuable items.
Mix has this like insane, it's kind of like a Bane mask almost, right?
Mix has this like crazy mask thing. of like a Bane mask almost, right? Minx has this crazy mask thing,
and she was stealing that whole fucking thing.
Oh, when I heard it was a mask,
I thought it was just like a cloth face mask.
No.
No.
No, she needs it.
If she removes it, she dies.
Keeps her alive.
For you.
Yeah, I mean, the story starts to wind down.
At some point during all this interaction,
someone who doesn't live there,
but someone who was there,
offers Miles and others some shrooms.
So Miles is off a shroom or two.
He's also...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What happened?
Conclude this, like...
Well, no, hold on, hold on.
They get completely demolished by Cutie,
and they leave,
and they get in an Uber and go home.
Yeah.
And they don't fight.
That's all I wanted to know.
They don't fight.
That me and Scott ate some fungi. Yeah. But... They turn into I wanted to know. They don't fight. That means Scott ate some fungi.
Yeah.
But...
They turned into some fun guys.
Some fun guys with fungi.
I had a very...
We had one.
One each.
One mushroom?
One man.
I've seen Miles drunk a million times.
I've never seen him off of anything like mushrooms.
He's different.
He's like Aiden when he's drunk.
Okay.
He's much more affectionate.
Full of love.
Just wants to give you a hug and talk to you even more. Eyes just pupils only. Yeah. He's a. He's like Aiden when he's drunk. Okay. He's like very much more affectionate. Full of love. Just wants to just wants to give you a hug and talk to you even more.
He's just pupils.
Yeah.
He's a great guy.
It's funny that like you guys story is like, you know, this fight, all these girls.
And then my story is like, yeah, I got like drunk, played beer pong and had mushrooms.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was up.
Dude, I went to everyone.
I went to a party, basically manifested my best friends coming to the party.
They did. And then we went my best friends coming to the party. They did.
And then we went with our friends to like another party.
And then we did some mushrooms.
I literally got told when we were at the first party,
someone was like, QD Cinderella says you should get in an Uber.
And I'm like, that's what I do.
I was like, I was talking to Austin, but I was like,
I might see you later, but I might not.
Because I have to get in this Uber with Minx and Emma.
Oh, yeah. We don't only have so many spots so that's all i can do so see you later i didn't know where i was going i just knew that kitty cinderella was going to be there
and if i found her she was going to take me home you're like i might see you in this line
we we found out how they got there too and it was i i i was talking to a few people and i remembered that when they
showed up like initially weston weston cory was just like around them and because he showed up
at the same time and i asked weston i was like do you know how they got here and he was like
he's been holding it all night he's like i didn't find it oh no yeah they like had convinced weston
that they were like welcome at the after party.
So they just came, like Weston was like,
okay, because Weston is just really nice.
Weston was like, I'm sure it's cool.
They are literally the Kanker sisters.
You said it in the beginning.
Yeah.
And they are now crystallized as the Kanker sisters
from Ed and Eddie.
But while this kickout argument was happening,
I walk out of the bathroom with Scott Gaming.
Scott Gaming spent a lot of time in bathrooms.
Just inadvertently.
I kept getting different videos of him in bathrooms
with different people.
Yeah, different bathrooms.
He's like the fucking attendant with the cologne and shit.
But everyone was looking down the stairwell,
which goes down all the stories,
and it was like a high school,
like when everyone's in the stairwell.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And someone's like,
this girl's getting kicked
out and i'm like i she's still a phantom to me yeah and i'm like well i'm feeling good
and i'm like there's a beef and then i just sat back down on the couch and called yeah and then
what happened because half of the people there didn't know this was happening at all they were
just like every drunk people by the fire and on the couches and stuff and then they all come back
in everybody like regroups and cutie basically recounts the story of how she had caught them like downstairs
fucking around talking mad shit about the house they were talking about how like uh how they
didn't like the people who were there and like how the house was fucking lame and cutie was like
you're not gonna say that shit about my friends and then like went down to go kick them out and
like confront them i can't wait till they like and they wake up the next morning and they all have weekend hair but
it's like like it's tentacles they're like oh the curse the medusa curse and then it was it was like
this collective therapy session because up until that point nobody had like like group recounted
their own interactions with this group right everybody was experiencing this separately
yeah and then everybody starts regurgitating their own stories everyone ends up in the same room with
the briefcase over the over the same night and we were like it's like the end of clued up and i and
i remember the next morning i woke up and i was thinking to myself because i i usually have this
feeling when i'm drunk like oh fuck like did i did i like ruin that person's night or something
was i like the problem in that interaction because i was thinking about what happened at the first party and scott
like like took me by the shoulder when i was explaining this to him and he was like no dude
like i was there for every single interaction i promise you that they were fucking with you
okay okay and and that that helped scott grounded me the whole evening the guy on mushrooms yeah yeah the guy on mushrooms a guy more fucked than
yeah okay only people's here's how i want this to go now you explain your perspective from disney
channel house to this house as used because it's it's kind of like it's it's like a split episode
right from two perspectives okay so i'm in an uber i'm talking to emma who's from the east coast i don't
know anything about her online personality or anything so we're just chatting and um you don't
know shit about dick usually no cutie's actually been side note australians in cutie section she's
been getting me up to speed we do a little twitch 101 sometimes when everyone else goes to bed and
she's like and then this person and i'm like oh because i don't know how like a lot of people's
origin stories and stuff because i don't really i'm ooh. Because I don't know how, like, a lot of people's origin stories and stuff.
Because I don't really, I'm not into it.
I mean, I didn't know myth clapped until today.
Hey, yeah.
And that's important in Twitch lore.
Anyway, so I'm in the Uber.
And I'm having a good time.
I'm talking to these two people.
And then we get to this house.
And it's amazing.
And then everybody else shows up.
We hang out in the, they have a home cinema for a bit.
We just chat.
And then the Botet sisters sisters show up and Alex is like
does everyone want to do a house tour? I'm like fuck yeah I want to do a house tour
and it's a sick house
the house is genuinely gigantic
they got a
home gym, they got an outdoor area with a giant
chessboard, anyway we're having fun, we're talking
and then Alex is like does anyone want to play poker?
let's play like 2-5 or something
and I'm like now you're talking my length
let's get some action going we look and we look for a deck of cards through this house like alex is
trying to find one she brings the chip set out and i'm drunk like i know i'm probably going to
be a dog because i know alex has like done some poker study in her life and she seems a lot less
drunk than me but i'm like i want the action let's go yeah but you've also broken some ankles in your
day i played a lot of poker and we can't find anything and it's like looking like it's winding down but then
she's like do you want to play heads up dude she's a gamer yeah the thing about alex is like
she wants to be playing a game a lot she comes upstairs she looked for the deck for so long
because she had the chip case upstairs like like really quickly she wanted to play really bad she's
excited like a 500 buy-in fucking dude oh man i
wish i was and i'm asking like we're gonna do a cash game and then she can't find the cards
like what's gonna happen she's like wait wait wait we could like uh we could like play like
we could get the cards on our phone and then we could play like with cards on my god like she
wants to play bad you know the poker the free poker online thing yeah she's like we can just
play online and at 2 30 in the morning i get a dm from alex while we're at the party and it's just a poker now link like she's trying to get the lads
into poker now on her phones at 2 30 gathered around the fire is uh is there's a big clip on
lsf the next day because it's her coach john ludwig hammer who is also there and she just
had the worst chess session of her career and she's like why am I doing so bad and in my
head after hearing all these stories
I know why you're doing bad
yeah you were in an Ed and Eddie episode
it's cause you started playing
chess like four hours after we left
that party that's why and
he's a grandmaster and he's here for all
of this
he wakes up halfway through the party we were
leaving man sleeping.
Yeah.
But then he walks upstairs and he's like,
you guys woke me up.
And then he comes and
hangs out for a bit.
He's the only reason
why I was slightly
jealous I didn't go.
But then he came to
the Super Bowl party.
In my head, I was like,
what's his perspective
on all this?
He's probably pretty
used to what I'd say.
I can only imagine.
I don't think the
Caggersers come around
that often
right like in a situation like that
back to my perspective I am oblivious
that these people are here I think I'm going to play
heads up with Alex Botes
you're like okay I guess like her range
would be like
she's like oh you're doing the
being just a classic polite switched on
intelligent person where she's like you probably are really
good right like you're probably going to like oh I don't know I don't want to get owned and i'm like i saw you on the dog
polk podcast like you've spent time talking to the greatest heads up player and like i know that
you're great it's like do you say it's bad i have a pretty good idea that like you're gonna have an
idea of how heads up hustle she's trying yeah yeah she smiled at that she was like oh you saw
the dog thing i was like yeah yeah i know what
you want to do on a four bet when it's like anyway we don't end up playing poker but i'm just like
walking around like oh i might play poker and i might do that i'm just having and then the shrooms
come into the minute like it's i'm just having a good time and then suddenly cutie cinderella's
like running downstairs and i'm like austin what's happening yeah yeah he just had a dream and then nothing bad
Nick so we did this big reveal of who mafia was and we found out pretty quickly yeah who the bad
she was mafia by the way it was her I was laughing so hard because everyone in the room is using a
thousand words to explain why these people were bad. And Miles on mushrooms and alcohol is so sick of hearing them say all the same thing at the same time.
And he interjects and goes, she was mafia.
Yeah.
Like, move on.
And I start busting up laughing and no one else laughs.
No one else really understands what he's saying.
And I'm laughing my ass off.
I can't contextualize why that's so funny
at the time to them.
Hey, as a serial drunk guy,
I'm a circular conversation connoisseur.
I'll be the first to say
I've had the same conversation
with people for half an hour.
But I was trying to vibe
those cool people.
They were having cool conversations
and I was like,
let's not let these weird people
get it down.
Miles leans to me
while this is all being told
and goes,
they're still talking about this.
And I start laughing and I'm like,
and then he starts talking to me a separate conversation
because he doesn't want to hear their conversation anymore.
And I don't either, but I don't want to hear two conversations.
Yeah, and you're like, this is just too much.
So I tell Miles, I'm like, I'm with you.
I don't want to hear this either, but I can't hear two.
So I need to pick one and they're not going to stop.
So you have to stop.
And he's like, okay.
And so we finished out the story.
And that's when I decided I'm going to leave. And I go up, I go up i go up to cutie and i'm like hey dude they need a ride about what time
is this 4 a.m jesus i love cutie and i go do they need a ride um and she's like uh yes take scott
i go up to scott and i'm like scott me and you are leaving right now and he goes okay and i go
to grab my things and i come back he goes hey i baited you i'm not leaving none of us are leaving
and i wanted to stay i thought i thought we were he goes hey I baited you I'm not leaving none of us are leaving because I wanted to stay
I thought we were
the first people
leaving
and that's the video
you saw of us in the toilet
where we're saying
who's leaving
who's going
yeah did someone send me that
dude they rushed me again
I was just in there
trying to take a whiz
I have that on my phone
which you should have
just gone
because you ended up
like Ubering
10 minutes later
yeah no literally
I was like Nick
it's
uh this is a party and i'm you know i'm partying yeah i love taking car rides with nick everyone assures me everyone assures me we are no no we're actually saying we baited you sorry and i'm like
okay and so i'm like well they got cutie cutie sober uh they told me they're not they're not
leaving they even vouched that cutie was also not leaving but i could have sworn cutie told me that
she was and i'm like they told me they're not leaving so i get in my car and i go i'm like 20 minutes out
and he messaged me have you left yet they all need to ride and i'm like what the fuck happened
love being a dd that's when i see the video of all them in the bathroom just screaming at each
other like they're leaving they're leaving and i and i'm like so mad so i'm like i went through
every i went i did everything i had to do I covered all grounds I asked them I went
You played it great
You listened to Scott
And you should have
Just listened to Cutie
And it was like
Scott this is not a question
You're coming with us
Dude because when Cutie
Rounded me up 10 minutes later
She's like Miles we're leaving
I'm like okay
And then she told me
On the way out
She was like the house is haunted
So you have to throw this biscuit
Over your shoulder
Did you do it?
Into saltine
It's actually so
Oh saltine
I was like what they got You throw saltine over Oh, saltine. I was like, what are they
going to pop on us? You throw saltine over the shoulder. Although Aiden
was eating his, which is out of pocket. That's true.
You ate the ghost, bro.
Now you have a ghost eating it.
I didn't know. I didn't know. They didn't explain.
They literally handed it to you
and the first thing you did is took a bite. Then they explained it to you and you took
another bite. So there's no defense from you.
You disrespected the ghost after you knew.
Oh, I did do that. The weekend is going to fucking destroy your soul so uh the last thing i do i'm like i'm not frustrated
but i'm leaving this party and i'm so overwhelmed so much has happened a lot of it's funny a lot of
it i'm just really tired it's 4 a.m i'm walking out and my swan song before i walk out the door
is i'm walking and i like i do like a double take take and I see a Ouija board that is like in the box
packaged.
And so I unpackaged the Ouija board and I take it out and I put it on the
staircase and I scatter some of the pieces.
And then I put the little dial thing on the word no.
And then I left.
And I was hoping that at some point Andrea would walk downstairs and,
and shit her fucking pants.
Wow. What. Wow.
What a move.
And then I got in the car
with Hope.
Doing it sober
is a different level too.
Sober mind.
Again,
journalists had on
Peepo G.
Yeah.
I was hoping that
it never showed up later
so I'm assuming
they were just like
is that what opened it?
Andrea Botez is just like
I'm leaving and never coming back.
She tweets it out.
I think at this point
nothing else really
interesting happens,
but you capped off your evening nicely. We had a final act.
A secret act. Secret act. This whole time,
after, when we were chugging Estes
at the Airbnb,
Scott says to me,
I got some hot cheetos in my bag.
I say, those hurt my tummy, but I really like them.
And he said, we're gonna need
them later.
And so we came home, and I first was like, I hope Nick's home.
I hope he got home safe.
And I run into his room and jump into his bed.
I'm like, oh, finally, I'm in bed.
Fuck.
I go lay down.
I want my laptop to put on like a video to fall asleep to.
And Miles just goes and opens the door instantly and hobbles in and then gets in my bed.
And he's like, what are we doing?
He had like some sweet potato chips with him.
Fries?
No, I had the veggie chips.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, from Sprouts.
And I'm watching a chess video and he's just like, what are we doing now?
And I'm like, Miles, go leave.
I'm going to bed.
I can't do anymore.
And he's good.
He goes, okay.
And he gets up and he just instantly leaves.
One thing I know about Nick is that sometimes he just can't be on the wave.
Because it's not physically –
At this point, the mushies are still chilling a little bit.
And I have to respect it.
When it's a no, it's a no from him.
So I just have to leave.
When Miles came last night because he was staying in my room
and I had my
door closed i came home pretty late i'm like i'm watching a video and uh he knocks on the door and
then he just opens it he's like can i come in here brush my teeth please i my toothbrush is in here
like he said it like a little kid because i know i know you get annoyed when he's like stammering
anyway so me and scott game we get in your bed train Trainwrecks isn't on. So that's option one gone.
Yeah.
And then we start what, for some reason, Lily Pichu is VTubing at 4.30 AM.
Okay.
And she's getting really philosophical as this like little cute anime girl behind a computer.
And she's like, do you ever think, she's like, Michael is great.
He's just a great boyfriend.
But five years is just such a long time into the future.
I don't know what's going to happen.
And she's just like talking about her life.
And me and Scott are just like so true besties.
In my bed.
No shirts on. No shirts off.
Hot Cheetos.
Lily Pichu V-tubing.
And we're just going down this philosophical rabbit hole.
She's just saying the Vegas shit that they're just laughing about too.
And we're just like, we get it.
You just don't know what happens in the future they're like and
that's the thing about the cat and the cat that's all off because i didn't have any of this fucking
context until literally right now scott said one of the people in this bed with miles scott scott
sent a dm to like our discord of like close friends that reads exactly li Lily Pichu spreading microchipping everyone. I saw that, yeah.
Hold on.
Through Wi-Fi for 5G.
This is insane.
And then next message,
Miles and I are lily-pilled.
And then next message,
minus the crazy shit.
And I read that.
Scott never talks like this.
I read that and said,
yeah, I'm going to fucking bed.
She went on this tangent
about how we need the 5G implanted in us.
She literally said, wouldn't it be cool?
And then said the cell phone tower conspiracy theory verbatim.
But she was like, wouldn't that be cool?
But she was on board with it.
Yeah.
As a VTuber.
Wouldn't that be sick?
Yeah, as a little anime girl.
Wouldn't it be cool if we all got microchotted and then we would always have 5G?
Okay, so.
I got my 5Gs right here.
That is, Archie,ie real quick can you put uh
dawn of the second day right now fin fin day one i'm just being a little conscious of time and i
got a lot of prezzies for my my full valentine you want to do a prezzy break for valentine's
break that's pretty much it for that story home in australia well no she's actually in malaysia
at the moment all right bust down bust down, bust down, bring him out.
Yeah, this is the, this is.
Okay.
We're doing this in the morning because he has Valentine's.
And you have Valentine's.
Eamon and I.
Eamon's got like three or four Valentine's.
He's lined them up.
Is that true? He's got a four, a six, and an eight.
Did you send the same message to like seven people or what?
Dear customer.
I didn't say happy.
Who does the templating?
Thank you for ordering a pillow cube.
If you want to go on another date, type yes.
To stop receiving these messages, type no, I guess.
Type stop.
All right, so I have personal gifts for all of you.
That's hype.
Whip them out.
They relate to our friendship and who we are as people.
While he's getting these out, let me contextualize.
We met Miles.
It was actually, he posted, he came here in 2017 to SoCal to grind Melee.
And from Australia, after grinding poker a bunch,
saved up a bunch of money, and you came here like,
I want to be the best.
And then you came to SoCal where you thought was the best place
to stay and grind. And so you came here like i want to be the best and then you came to socal where you thought was the best place to to stay and grind um and so you came here you needed a place to stay
you stayed on the floor of a place called final destination cards and games in carson california
and then you were like i need a place to live actually though i was homeless for a little while
you posted on the page socal melee you said hey i need a place and then nick was like the same the
same week one of my roommates disappeared. Yeah, just without a trace.
Out of thin air, disappeared.
And didn't call, didn't pay any more rent.
We didn't hear from him at all.
And I was like, I need a fucking roommate.
And then Miles posts, I'm looking for a place to live.
I can pay rent.
I'm in SoCal.
And I was just like, let's do it.
And we met up at a Mayhem.
And we made sure we clicked.
We met up at a tournament.
And Nick was like, do you want to come check out the room?
And I came and checked out the room.
And I never left. That's right and then uh and then later on
because i would hang out with like everyone in that house uh i would meet miles we went to our
first tournament together it was gooms's tournament in culver city which lasted for like three weeks
um and we went and we were in the back seat with v money v money talking a lot of shit oh no me and
miles i'm like this guy's funny. I like this guy.
We end up bonding. That's really
nice. And then we end up being friends.
And then we end up meeting Dawson, who runs
Power9. The three of us are like,
hey, you know, remember Bad Melee? It's a podcast I used to do
for Melee stuff. It went a little hiatus.
I was like, I'm going to bring it back.
We'll have Jet, who runs a stream here,
do the camera. We'll do it live.
And then the rest is history.
Yeah.
And there was like a weird, I have this feeling with some people that when I meet them, I
just know that we're going to be friends.
And it happened with you.
And I remember talking shit in the power night.
Remember we used to say Dawson's bits were really chill?
Yeah.
He had chill bits.
He had chill bits.
Yeah.
And the three of us talking, I was like, this is cool.
And then you had the wherewithal
and the foresight to be like let's involve microphones yeah well the thing is i i put it
out i put out the bat signal it was on stream at a power nine we were commentating which are great
fucking tournaments and i was like i will only bring back the podcast because you know the old
heads would clamor for it i said i'll only bring back the podcast if i get a hundred dick pics in like in a row and some
guy collected a hundred pictures of dicks and dm me on twitter and i was like he's like a majority
whip he got like all the dicks yeah i was pissed though because i was like put up all the dick
pics yeah i was just like well these are just other people's we need two more but but i did
say that's right i was like a man of my word. And then the next week, we put it together.
And then...
Imagine that guy didn't put the work in.
Thanks, guy.
Honestly, it might not have happened.
None of it might have happened.
And nowadays, I don't need that sort of motivation, so don't fucking think about it.
But, yeah.
Now you give that motivation.
Now it's a thousand hulks for a new show.
So get posting, Yardas.
And then we actually, we ended up making a patreon to
like get miles back out here yeah i came back in 2018 to do the show which then moved to bts
that's right you'd been hired at through slime on the scene and other funny bits that's right
zipper actually produced a couple of that shows he did he'll remember that my special uh my special
selfish insert here is that uh because i wasn't around with you guys back then, but I
actually met Miles in 2016 at a
tournament in Australia in Perth,
which is also coincidentally the only time you've
been to Perth. It is.
Perth is on the other side of it, by the way.
It's like Perth and then there's like
Melbourne. Are there people in
Australia who are like West Coast, Best Coast?
At the party, I
heard an Australian accent from across the room
and I was like,
hey,
mate,
I came over and this girl was really drunk
and she was like,
really like Perth people have a different accent.
And she was like,
we started talking.
I'm from Perth
and I'm just like,
oh,
and then she started like looking angry
and I just like backed away.
I was like, oh, I'm from Melbourne.
She's like, oh.
Oh, Melbourne.
And I just, I faded away back into the background.
I knew I smelled something.
This was about 10 minutes before I met you.
Anyway.
Yeah.
And then there was,
they were like, there was a terrible girl this night.
And he's like, yeah, I met her.
I'm not up with how many stories you guys have told.
Cause it was actually when I first,
the inception of this podcast podcast Nick told me about it
and I was
feeling really cool over COVID
because I was like my life sucks in Melbourne we were on
like I think a collective like nearly 12
months total of lockdown
where you can't leave your house more than an hour
they're serious about it yeah
police will pull you over and like you are doing groceries
or you're in your house
and it was like a really depressing time for me meanwhile my best friends from america were blowing up and it was
cool to see all the success and i would go to bed and i would think about my friends in america i'd
be like you know what i feel accomplished as a person because i'm zero percent jealous and i'm
100 happy and then nick was like comes on discord one day and he's like we have this idea we're
gonna do a podcast and i'm like okay my heart this idea. We're going to do a podcast. And I'm like, okay, my heart drops
a little bit.
Twitch isn't for me
in the same way that this is for me. I feel like talking
is something that I really like. Yeah, I was saying
before, I was like, Miles is like, he's like podcast
grease.
It's like, he just keeps everything
smooth and buttery and rolling.
And that's why I think Bad Melee was
such a hit, honestly, because it was Dawson who's opinionated me was opinionated but we can't we
have to find that spot and you kind of just like kept everything juicy and flowing and i like it's
like i'm gonna make an analogy out of something that makes no sense and it's somehow you really
do put it together the the amount of times i've heard Miles compare something to the starting island in an MMO.
Yeah, oh my God.
It's like an MMO when, and I'm like, he's about to spit facts, even though he said the same thing.
It's about to make a lot of sense.
I remember you said the thing you're most mad about or sad about was that it was called The Yard.
Yeah.
He showed me pictures of the set that you guys were designing, and it was going to be called The Yard.
And that is something you guys have told a lot of stories about the the conception of that name and these are a lot
of stories that are near and dear to me that's some of the best times of my life which i think
is fair because it is appropriation on the behalf of these three gentlemen because they never fought
in the yard that's true also and he feels shame i've talked to miles about this i'm like we are
we're appropriating yard culture because like the yard came around when i stopped drinking and i
consider drinking sort of like this crucial element i don't as somebody who does drink and that's a difference
between us and then nick capping all the time right he's he is the reporter yeah he's grabbing
captions you know and i'm like i want my extra he's been putting out ouija boards and it's like
i've been in some yards but they were a long time ago you know and i've been in some wilds but it
was a long time ago oh and i was always the largest you know the most older man yeah and i was like you know i just i'm not the closest i ever got
to fighting miles was at a smash camp and i was like i don't want to do this he's too drunk and
he wants it yeah because you slapped my back or some you said you were just you're just
you're out of pocket we're foolinging around It was not It was not a bet
But you were like
I was like
You wanna go outside right now
You're like
You're like hop out like Tigger
Dude into the snow
Yeah
He's already outside
His shirt off
And you're like oh
Dead ass
And I was like
I don't wanna do this
I was whipping my gear off already
Too quick
Too quick
I don't wanna get
It's like
We're gonna get frosty out there
We're gonna get too frosty
So yeah
Anyway so
I had this conversation with Nick
And I was like Okay you got me I'm and I was like, okay, you got me.
I'm jealous.
I was like, it's going to be called The Yard.
And Nick's like, we also have an Australian guy.
He's going to be on it.
He told me the lineup is Biles.
And I'm like, I know it's going to be fire.
I know it's going to be a success.
And for a while,
because I was sitting at home
playing 14 games a league a day
because I couldn't leave my house.
I had quit my job
because it became unworkable because of COVID.
And we were just in limbo.
And people would come into my stream or whatever and be like, dude, the art is so funny, man.
Like these stories about you and like these guys and like all this.
They'd be like, have you watched it?
And I'd be like, I'm sure it's fire, but I can't watch it.
Yeah.
Because like for the first 10 episodes, like I have no way of ever knowing if I'm going to see these people live again.
And it's all shit that was like, I lived these stories.
If that's what they're talking about.
It's hard to like.
It's just pain simulator.
Yeah.
And then as soon as we booked plane tickets, I was like, oh, this is watchable again.
I can click the YouTube button.
Yeah.
And that was around the Italy time, which I feel like was fire.
But I haven't seen the first 10 episodes, so I don't know.
I actually like when our friends don't watch it.
I want the fans to be separate. Now that I'm in America as well, I don't seen the first 10 episodes, so I don't know. I actually like when our friends don't watch it. I want the fans to be separate.
Now that I'm in America as well, I don't watch.
Yeah.
Because I know what you're going to get.
Yeah, you're just in the shit.
It's present time, everybody.
All right.
Any gift receivers?
Yeah.
Okay, let's do this a little bit quick because I don't know how long you have.
Oh, you're fine.
Totally fine.
Bust down.
Okay, we're busting down.
For Eamon Gaiman, your first up.
And this is the gift that is either going to be a hit or you already have it and it's trash to you. He also hates gifts because he doesn't feel things so I
Don't have this. Okay, you describe it for the
This is hard
Holy what this is is the website that a root this is a t-shirt that says chill on John it with the logo of challenge on
The back for the audience the. It's the website for T.O.'s. Oh, okay. Yeah, you gotta strive for that.
It's the website for T.O.'s that they use to run tournaments.
It's the free software.
A really bad website that has since been moved on from,
but Eamon Gaiman would have had to deal with this website
and this company.
Why did you think you would have had this?
This is fucking crazy.
It's honestly something you could have.
That is a crazy game.
Did you come close to ever having this?
Tournament merch that I won for, like,
coming third at something.
This is so hard.
That makes it official. And I've kept it for, I've had I won for, like, coming third at something. This is so hard. That makes it official.
And I've kept it for...
I've had this shirt for, like, six years.
It's washed now.
Does that make sense?
What the fuck?
It's washed now?
It's an old shirt.
Like, it's worn.
Oh.
Not like it has been cleaned.
No, yeah, I'll, like, put some water on it.
No, it looks worn, but that gives it charm.
So that's fine.
I like that.
Yeah, so there you go.
Thank you.
That's super cool.
I think...
Tournament organizer memorabilia.
Dude, this is a... Every TO would like one of these, man. This is fucking Thank you That's super cool. I think I want him and organize a memorabilia. This is a every to would like one of these
That's a sick shirt and you're saying not just like getting someone who plays video games a shirt. This is gamer
Different because you would never bump you also want a shirt on it's like having a wiki dot
No, it's like having a Super Mario box art shirt, but like in 1991.
Liquipedia.com.
This is software that has since been obsoleted as well, which I think it exists.
It's good for quick and dirty. It's for quick and dirty tournaments.
I use this on a monthly basis.
You don't want to have to load Smash TV.
When I run my little Sycuna OTV event, I'm like, chill out.
I'm sure very few people will
Define you're about you're about to get a gift right? Yeah, that's so excited
What
This is an Australian log a polar
Australian Lager Polo.
I love this shirt.
That might be a bit of a handful for people. Oh my God.
I fucking love this.
Oh, he loves it.
I fucking love this.
That's an Australian fit.
I got this when I worked at the stadium at home that do our big sport, AFL, and I would
serve beers to people.
Australian Football League.
Yeah.
I was going to say, I want to put this on with some like rugby shorts and go do like
a fucked up accent.
This was part of my uniform because Carlton dropped
with the sponsor
and I stole it
and I have had this
for 10 years.
Easy.
And now it's yours.
10 years?
Dude, that is so-
It looks really small.
I'm not going to cap it.
It does.
I didn't want to say it
because I was negative
on the last one.
No, he can fit in that.
No, I'll fit.
Try it on.
He's so long.
Throw it on.
Find out.
Fuck around and find out.
While he's putting it on,
QD tweeted out something
that said,
try to be less like you
and more like Sykuno.
And you told her that?
We were on Omegle last night, and there was a guy who was mean to Cutie.
It said something like, because they're duo Omegle,
and they go in the Twitch tag, so it's people who watch Twitch.
And the guy was like, yeah, I really like Ludwig,
but I don't get why he's dating that girl.
Let him talk.
She's not pretty.
Something like that.
And she was there, but I don't think he knew that it was Cutie and then she's like i'm cutie that was mean and then they skipped
he stayed in the queue for like an hour to try to find them and snipe them i eventually come down
and i see him he's like dude i'm such a big fan and i was like hey man you you should be less
like you and more like saikuno but you said it to her no to him the guy to be nicer okay she she
made it sound like you said it to her? No.
Like you were coaching her?
That's what I thought too.
I said it to the guy. Okay, okay, okay.
It does actually fit. It's somehow
simultaneously an Aiden shirt
and a Miles shirt. His arms have never looked
longer. You look great.
Let's hit buys after this. Yeah.
Get you pumped up. I'll keep the shirt on while we do it.
So, two-part a gift for the second part's for slime.
This guy right here.
Wait, who's part one for?
Oh, shit.
Is a VB polo.
So, the rival beer, the other big lager in Australia is called VB.
And this is a polo much like Amon's.
Oh, that's so hard.
The horde to Colton Draught's alliance.
Yeah.
So when you guys play Melee,
these can be your uniforms
to represent warring factions.
So it's green.
It's all embroidered.
These are very nice.
None of this shit's on Redbubble, bro.
This is real BB merch.
It's BB for a hot end fest.
That's the logo.
And then it's got an embroidered pauldron.
That's so sick. This is great. got an embroidered pauldron. That's so sick.
This is great.
I'm a Victoria
Bitters fan.
You like VB?
Yeah.
It's the only one
because Miles,
it's the one he
always talks about.
It's the one for me.
Yeah.
I have two gifts
for you.
This is the second
part.
It's a life-saving
Australia hat.
And because you
came to Australia and you loved it and you felt at home there,
it says Australian for life on the side.
Wow.
Because you're an honorary Australian.
Wow.
Say the word.
Say the word.
Wallaby.
Oh, not that word.
That's what I call it now.
Say the demonetized word.
Me and those guys were searching for some wallaby.
Say the word that packs the whole thing up.
Wow, the highest honor.
I am wearing a hat today
because I haven't been
able to shave
because I got
the goddamn saniderm
so I look like a
fucking 40-year-old man.
So this is great for me.
Ooh, it's a high hat.
These are good.
That is good.
Yeah, this is great.
You're up next, Nick.
I love that for me.
So you're a big
merch guy now.
Big merch guy.
Yeah, podcasting,
selling merch, living the LA dream. Uh-huh. So I got a little merch guy now. Big merch guy. Yeah. Podcasting, selling merch, living the LA dream.
Uh-huh.
So I got a little merch that we made.
I feel like I'm on Nardwaur right now.
This is like Nardwaur.
This is...
You'll remember when you burned down that forest, right?
The rarest gift.
You should be in charge.
The rarest gift.
This is the rarest gift.
Oh my.
This was made on a Redbubble-like platform by an Australian legend called Mungo.
People at home. You never met Mungo? No, I heard of the Mungo by an Australian legend called Mungo. People at home.
You never met Mungo?
No, I heard of the Mungo Slayer.
I love Mungo so much, dude.
Because you really, you talk about how you want to come to Ban.
So badly.
I'm peeping.
It's a bag with Chapos on it.
I love Chapos.
Another Australian hero.
I love Chapos.
And at the top it says, please come to Ban in flames riding.
That's sick.
Chapos is great.
When I went to BAM and met the whole squad,
I was like,
this is truly the all-star team.
This is a nice bag.
Yeah.
It's not like a regular drawstring.
Oh, yeah.
This is like canvas.
This is nice.
It's got a little zipper pocket.
This is what our merch is looking like down under.
This is my tournament bag now.
Oh, that's so hot.
He's got a good fox. This is what our merch is looking like down under. This is my tournament bag now. Oh, that's so hot. He's got a good fox.
This is so crazy.
And Chapos is praying that you come.
Chapos.
I'll be there.
Huey.
Mungo.
Chapos, I'll be there.
Wade.
I don't know what he's up to.
Sundowns.
You're going through the Final Fantasy 16 lineup.
Dean. Kalen.
Kalen.
Dude, I met all these guys, and I was just like, I just want to fucking.
This is great
MSJ
MSJ
skip
legend
even SA Nick
there's so many names
no
not him
not you
alright
the second part
I do
yeah yeah
everyone has two except Ludwig
because he already has enough gifts
that's what I'm saying yeah
Ludwig only has one
that checks out
this is a bag
with two chains in it.
Okay, so it's a small bag here.
I'm opening it up.
It has two gold chains in it,
and you're going to choose one that you like better.
Holy shit.
I'll hold them in front of you.
I'm the merchant's assistant.
Pretty nice, huh?
Holy shit.
One's like a pretty good chain.
It's got bigger links, and one of them has much smaller sort of dense links.
I think he likes the one in your right hand more.
That's my guess.
But maybe he would like the one on the left because he was less likely to get that normally.
Well, you can't call both, so I'm going this one.
I'm going this one.
Can I make a read, Miles?
Is the other one for you because we're the Ice Boys?
Yes. Oh, this is going now i have some ice with my ice boy oh i love that so much
that's me and nick's mario party team name when he doesn't team with ludwig it's like an alternate
team yeah in an alternate universe where i don't exist with the fans shoes yeah it's a fan vote on
the compendium it's so now when we play mario party together we'll
have it's like a what's the game is it double dash where you pick two characters it gives you
a team name or is that just my party no that's my party it's my party six yeah i love that shit
these were gifts from my great aunt who went a little bit crazy these are heirlooms in a way i
mean she just liked she has gold everything and one day
when she felt like maybe she was starting to need to give gifts in her life she said have as many of
these as you want wow so it's not just something you picked up i don't know how this works oh you
never i i wear one it's different it is oh broke shit more confusing it's a latch miles what does
it is it counterclockwise?
What do you do here?
I wasn't going to open them until this moment.
Dad, help me too.
You just pull.
It's a latch.
Mine's the same.
It's you.
This is dad shit right now.
Taking care of the boys.
You just put your thumb in the little hole
And then it should pull out
But I think it's a bit
How you say fucked
You just have to pull
I'll toggle with it as we continue
So Ludwig's gift here
Is a conversation me and Ludwig had a long long time ago
When he used to hang out at the house me and Nick lived in
And it's about the best pizza in the world Which which happens to be right down the road from my house.
Best pizza in the world.
500 gratis.
Best margarita is the claim.
I thought homie was talking about Pomona.
Yeah, I don't know.
In Australia, I said the best pizza in the world, margarita, comes from...
And Ludwig said there is no shot that that is the case.
I still think that.
We looked it up and we were looking for their award.
We were looking through like Italian PDFs.
Some white papers.
Yeah.
Do you remember this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I still believe no shot.
So I heard that you got into wood firing pizzas a little bit.
I did.
What I have here for you.
I was a pizza guy for a short time.
He was a pizza guy.
We saw the stone. Is the book written by
World's Best Pizza
the chef in question
and now you can make pizza
just like him? Wow. So he self
titled his book World's Best Pizza
because he's got the award. Because he knows how it
be. Because he knows he makes it.
To be fair, although he lives in Australia,
his name is Francesco.
What is that?
Italians do move places sometimes.
He's Italian.
That's true.
I thought he was just like in Australia.
It's almost like we have an immigration population as well.
Okay, we can get into Australian immigration in a moment.
I have many thoughts on that.
This is great.
This is such a Pyrrhic, sort of a sad, sad gift because he has long abandoned his pizza endeavors.
He might pick them back up.
Being a pizza guy is forever slime.
Pie never quite leaves you.
I like to think that.
When I went to this place again and I saw that this guy had a book talking all about how, I had to buy it.
I would love to see Ludwig's chops after he gives that a read.
A little read, a little whirl.
Because I will say, as much shit as I've given Ludwig for abandoning his pizza ways,
when he did make them, I enjoyed them.
They weren't bad.
Yeah, they were good.
That's really nice.
Thank you, Miles.
Thanks, Miles.
You're a friend.
Thank you so much.
I like you, man, a lot, man.
I like you, man, a lot, too.
You know, one of the saddest I've ever felt in my life was the first time Miles left America
because he left his jersey hanging over the CRT.
And I remember taking a picture of it because I remember I was like, I wasn't sad until now.
Yeah.
And then I was really sad.
You've seen it in the case, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We encased his jersey and we have it in our house.
He left it on the rafters.
He said, I got to leave high school, boys, but you lock it down.
When you took him to the airport that one time
it was like his second trip home
where he's like the big trip home
you guys listened to Tricky Mac and Benny T
but it was the bad album
and it sucked
we just weren't enjoying a new Tricky Mac album
particularly because Benny T wasn't on it
and then there was one song with Benny T on it
that came out of nowhere
and it was just like the scene in the movie.
It was like when we saw each other at the party.
That's the exact same vibe I had.
That was the song that played in our heads.
It was the dream time.
It's your boy.
Benny T.
And you're like, he's back.
That song is beautiful too
because he just tells him about all the times
he was like a hard s*** and ripped all the cones.
That whole song,
the dream time by Tricky Mac and Benny T, the whole song is about how
Tricky Mac is on drugs and he's like, you know what?
Maybe I call it quits.
Stop taking drugs.
I'll get myself together.
And Benny T is like, no.
You're being a pussy.
He shows up.
You're going to keep taking drugs and you're going to like it.
And that's the whole song.
And Benny T is the hero in this song.
It's a good message.
Yeah.
It's so funny.
He comes in and scoops it all up.
And the kids at home watching, you too can be like Benny T.
Well, okay.
So, I mean, we're still not through the juiciest weekend that ever happened.
Look, I'm realizing now after talking, having one story over so long,
that we could probably just do this for four hours.
Yeah.
I think that when you were saying Miles is like podcast grease,
that's kind of what he adds is like every week with the yard,
like some weeks I'm like, oh, I could probably keep going.
Some weeks I'm like, oh, I'm starting to wind down a little bit but like when miles is here
i feel like i can actually keep going forever i have an energy for this that is infinite
he's the greasiest guy i ever met we're doing it early i think everybody's i think that actually
makes a difference he taught me everything i know about podcasting and that's why i am the grease
when he's not around but i'm not good good grease I was wondering why you were always greasy me everything about
being good
Isn't he a genius no cap though
I look back on bad melee and I'm like I got I was allowed to run around in the playpen because you created the playpen
A lot of the times yeah, you know you got it Some some people have lot of the times. Yeah, you know, some people have to be the dad
and some people get to be the mom.
And that's her story.
Anyway, that was Miles, Don B, Dobny,
Giles from Street Fighter,
you can find him here.
Oh, nice.
Archie, wow, great.
He hates followers on Twitter,
so don't even think about it just do it
you could oh shit happy everybody knows the man who's in every other story also
check out his parlor he's pretty active also all right Twitter are you a gab look
if some people might have seen on Twitter this week that I not only ratio, but
double ratioed Will Neff.
That's good.
Because Will Neff was calling me out saying he could beat me at four square, which literally
it was funny.
Everyone comes out the woodwork and does a collective ha ha ha when they read this.
And everyone's like replying like, damn, about to be put on a poster, yada yada.
Will's got to be a little scared.
like damn about to be put on a poster yada yada will's gotta be a little scared um but uh this sort of beef had some sort of at the at our super bowl party there was another party there who was
defending will saying we would totally dice you guys and we settled that in an ultimate four
square event that happened last night and we'll get into it on the bonus episode on patreon see you
there