The Yard - Ep. 34 - We Discovered A 15-Year Long Game of Yu-Gi-Oh!

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

The boys are back from London and the pod lives to see another day. Ludwig finally beats Elden Ring, Slime gaslights Aiden, and Nick meets a prophet outside a LAN Café.

🎵 Get your food away. So I'd keep it, I was, I literally, I'd be sitting at Smash GG in the office, like one tab, you know, one tab Jira, one tab fucking Monday or whatever, and then one tab fucking Tinder. And you're just clicking. Keep it open. You're clicking like fucking Flash.

Yeah. You could do it faster. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. His efficiency must have been through the roof. Yeah. That's how he got good at Valorant. You swipe faster. You type faster.

Recognition, and then immediately clicking. You can make like an auto hotkey script that like just skips certain types of people or yeah an algorithm or that

like you have like three and it's like you hit like you know one if it's you accept them and then send them a message and it auto types the message in

hits enter it uses the most successful phrases in the English language it says you know it says like cellar door and stuff beautiful words this is all stuff we believe you would do i used if you control these

here and there you know oh gotta dude it's like a bigger net it's like zuckerberg if he just wanted pussy dude if zuck well that's what it started with right that's what yeah but that's what i'm saying like if he stops right at the pussy i think because he got pussy, and then he was like, oh, this can be bigger than pussy. Yeah, and like, oh, I'm a lizard. Whoa. Oh, my eyes. I'm going to lick my own eyes with my tongue.

Whoa. And I capped out. I didn't get any. But way back in the day, you remember Daddy? The Smash player. Yeah, he would. You can't just throw that out. Saying that is crazy with no explanation. You remember Daddy, right? You know our Daddy. Tell them about Daddy. Yeah, he would. You can't just throw that out. Saying that is crazy. You remember Daddy, right?

You know our Daddy. Tell them about Daddy. Tell them about Daddy. Imagine if you let it go, though. That would be crazy. Comments are crazy. Engagements are crazy. See, I'm thinking about this shit.

I'm a contact brain. So Daddy, he would stream from his phone on Android, and he would stream Tinder. Oh, shit. You're not allowed to do that anymore. It still happens. He got rid of that. It was a long time ago and he was like streaming Tinder. That was hot content back in the day. That is content.

It is. It is because it's just chat braiding women, which is still hot content. I mean, you can always do that. It's just not women in hot singles in your area. Anytime Hasan or Miz has a new girl over, they whip up like the 50 biggest streamers, and it's like...

Let's get a tier list going. It'll be good content. All right, so we pick two singles. We get you two, and you both have to click on a hot singles in your area ad, and the first to get pussy wins. The first to bust. You can only utilize the ad in whatever it takes you.

Dude, does it work? No, but that's like literally, I don't think those are actual hot singles ads. Oh, you think they'd lie? You know what we could get away with? Craigslist. Well. Here's a challenge.

We'd end up on someone's wall. Go live? Yeah, but that also counts as one. Go live and browse Pornhub for an hour and buy every ad that you get. It's like an Amazon stream rated X. Dude, have you seen that one ad where it's like... It's like a... You get it, right?

Wait, no. What? You get it, right? No. Is this a Pornhub ad? Yeah, okay, so? Wait, no. What? You've seen it, right? No. Is this a Pornhub ad? Yeah, okay, so it's an ad for some sort of- So yeah, like I'm jerking my dick, and like, you guys know Pornhub, right? You know what's funny?

It's because a lot of people don't transfer over their uBlock into incognito, so you'll see ads a lot. You know what I mean? But anyway, it's this ad that has this sound. You don't use incognito? No, I don't use my computer. Oh. I don't get ads

when I watch porn. You all have different... Actually, why I think... Why I think... Because I'm not going to lie. It's not like I haven't fucking used the site. And I've thought about

bringing up ads I've seen before. Aiden supports sex trafficking. thumbnail thumbnail yeah pornhub not a great site to support uh but the the ads are different on desktop and mobile i'm pretty sure so that's probably why i haven't seen the one you're talking about ones are all like oh angry birds okay yeah yeah tell me about this ad. This ad is like... Welcome to the yard. Welcome back to the yard, everyone.

But okay, so it's an ad. The sound I made was the sound of some sort of nylon string guitar or a banjo. And it has this melody. And it's playing while this clear liquid just dumps onto the ground. And it's like, this ever happened to you? Sweet James. Call now. And it's supposed to be a product that makes you cum more.

Oh, I've seen these. I'm with him now. I didn't know until he said that. The dripping is the cum. It's like a euphemism to get you to think about your load and what it could be. My load is so small. It's not a puddle. You're like, well, it's like a euphemism you to think about your load and what it could be my load is so small it's not a puddle and and it's like and it's just dumping and dumping and it's like you know use this product for your video you watched at school what you remember did the first porn video oh yeah is he gets

hosed when you said at school i thought you meant the school was showing it and i was like you need to work on that shit your your language problems are getting to his level no they're not you know where i've seen fucked ads i was trying to watch anime and it's fucked up because you saw the cum ad and you're like i want to bust like shinji i just wanted to watch one piece fight and then they're like and then it's like immediately this cartoon character just clapping cheeks on a gear rotation really yeah dude you think those games have speed runners oh dude imagine speed running only the sex game category. Yeah. It definitely exists, but for more popular titles.

It's cumless percent? Yeah. It might dry percent. Dude, this game will make you cum in 30 seconds. And he's like, 30 seconds was the PB last year, but we're like way below that now. More like five. Wow. Min maxing. It's a summoning salt.

Wow. super fuck simulator has been being ran since 2004 and then steven shackleford there's like 7 000 universes that we just passed by while we were talking about all that shit but i'm trying to go back okay come product you find the product the try one of my favorite click hole bits ever it's like uh you know how they do those fake quotes and it's like shigeru miyamoto and one of them was like i don't like those ads that say try not to come because coming is the point so it should not tell you the objective of the game is not to come or something like that that's and then it ends with i think that's bad game design yeah yeah dude imagine that's what pornhub should turn into more youtube games try not to come hard challenge it's like

extreme mode it's all just i'm gonna i'm gonna beat you to this. That exists. Does it? Yeah. Barely. And I'm just saying that it does. I think it's a safe bet. I feel like we need to contentify our porn more. Boys! No, it's not a... I fit 70 Skittles into this stripper's asshole.

For every one she took out, she got $1,000. Her shit looked like a goddamn purse with a bunch of pennies in the bottom. Love that, Mr. Yeast. Now we can move on from the category. There is this one fucking, there's this one girl who just makes,

she just makes vlogs of her life with her boyfriend, but at the end of every episode, the last five minutes is fucking... That's the whole package. They'll go camping, and it'll be like, with her boyfriend but at the end of every episode the last five minutes is fucking oh that's just really that's the whole package so like they'll go they'll go like camping and it'll be like yeah we're hey guys we're going camping today yeah and then they fucking plow in the tent it's like it's like you know when like you're hovering like the p-hub bar and it shows like the viewer retention

spikes yeah it shows it on that website publicly. It's like all the moments where they're just being nice to each other or like really high. I think I know what you're talking about. This is funny because it's like this cold war of us like trying not to let on that we know what we're talking about,

what the other guy's talking about, letting him be the Asa Akira, you know. I was going to say, I'll own it. The YouTube content thing, it wasn't a bet. That know. I was going to say, I'll own it. The YouTube content thing, it wasn't a bet. That exists. I've played that game.

Wow. I came here to beat off, but stayed for the story. You've tried not to come. Yeah. Extreme mode. Dude, Aiden ends, Aiden ends, doesn't come,

and he's like, this shit was fucking easy, dude. I've been labbing this shit all week. I'm in the comments. Aiden's like, I just keep my pants on and I don't take my dick out. You ever wonder?

It's the best strat. I feel like the difficulty measures weren't accurate. Like, the easy mode is way harder than the hard mode. I close my eyes while the video's playing. That's like when you talk about

playing Just Dance on the Wii and you're like, you only have to move your one arm. Yeah, yeah. Or like, even tennis back in the day. You remember when the Wii fucking came out

and there was like, kids figured out real quick that you just needed to go like that. Yeah. And then they were like, but that like messed with the spirit of the game. If you like twist your hand like this, it just hits infinitely over and over and over again. It's like you can't miss really.

And then Aiden's just there like doing that. You're just like, well, you're kind of messing with the spirit of the game. He's like, I'm winning. That's how you win. It's the best strategy. Dude, I got, I got bullied out of that because I was doing DDR Mario mario edition i was like i was like trying to dance though i was like 10 because i was like into it so i was like i wasn't just pressing it the sweet james song and then and then i think a friend walked in because he was coming over and he's like why are you doing

it like that just press it so you were expressing yourself and then you got called out yeah i know he's like just press it really hard you have totally just i was like i was like, just press it. Were you like, oh, you have totally. That's so stupid. I was like, no, it's fun. But then next time he came over, I was like, I'll press it. Yeah. I'll just press it. Oh, yeah. So you didn't buckle immediately, but you eventually did fall in line. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. I fall in line. I'm a good soldier. That's right. I do what I'm told. Dude, you know what's funny? A thing that changed, I think, maybe my dental health for the rest of my life was I was in sixth grade, and I was in a new school.

And I had just got braces, and they told me you got to brush your teeth a lot. And I'm like, okay, I'll do that. And I was brushing my teeth after school in the bathroom, which is pretty nerd behavior. Yeah, that's crazy. What? I know. And I was like, well, you know, I want to keep my teeth good. And I'm in there, and it's like the first know i want to keep my teeth good and uh i i'm in there

and it's like the first week of school and this kid is in there who would eventually grow up to beat his girlfriend so who's the loser now uh he was like i started brushing my teeth and uh and he comes into the bathroom he's like what, what are you doing? And I'm like, brushing my teeth. He's like, and he said it. He said this like concerned. He's like, that's really gay. Dude, you go visit that guy in jail right now. He's like, oh, yeah, you were a huge person. Yeah.

He said that verbatim. And his eyes were like kind of big about it. Like he was like, whoa, hey, whoa. He's like letting you know. And then I was incredibly embarrassed and I was like, really, you know, and I'm still doing it.

Cause I'm like, as if he's saying like, Hey, you got some broccoli in your teeth. And I'm like, really? And then I never did it again. Wow.

Just at school or in general? That's fake as fuck. I did that in the airport. Brush your teeth. Yeah. Yeah. That's normal. That's what humans fuck. I did that in the airport. Brush your teeth? Yeah. Yeah, that's normal shit. That's what humans do.

It's pretty chill, but you get looks still. Imagine a guy, imagine an 80-year-old man gets off his flight and he's like, oh, you know, that's really gay. Off his flight from Colorado, same guy. Yeah, dude. He's dragging his girl. I hope everything's fine. You were going to say she's good

I don't know We don't know We hope I heard you getting chewed out Oh dude fucking Elden Scrolls is ruining my life Yeah This is the first time I've talked to you in a week Yeah I've been out of commish

For about five days Dude can I I wanna air a beef Beef is back on with Ludwig Beef time Here's the reason Yeah, I've been out of commish for about five days. Dude, can I? I want to air a beef. Beef is back on with Ludwig. Beef time. Here's the reason. Amen, let's touch the tips of our penises to ritualistically send off the beef.

All right, get over here. Okay, so. Get over here. I don't know what all that was. Audio listeners, they're now touching their tips. But Aiden's foreskin is actually enveloping slime. He's not using his hands either. It looks like Akira.

If there was only a nice, concise term to describe what was going on right now. Yeah, as if some sort of two vessels. An acquisition of sorts. And the beef has commenced. I'll tell you, I came. Would you film a video of us doing that if we put no time for caution behind it? What is that?

It's the Inception song. Interstellar song. 100%, yes. Can that just be the thing? I'm sorry. We're putting off the beef. This is better. Hold your beef.

They're going to fucking. Can that just be the fucking. 20K? The 20K? Is that me and him doc? I'm down. I'm so down. Dawkins at least 30k. Come on. We are close.

We're so close. I'm trying to figure out what to do. Zipper, what are we at right now? We're at an hour and a half. The Patreon. The Patreon. I think we're close to 20k, right? We're like at 17,700. We're far enough.

I'm trying to think what amount of money I would do that for. Is it worth 2,300 Patreons? No. What? Patrons? We're at 17,767. I'll be honest. It's 100% not worth it right now.

Oh, really? How about you do it at 17,000? Because you think it'll just get reached? Yeah. And you're like, you do not want to dock with me that bad. That's what hurts. That's what kind of hurts. Would it be better

if you docked with Nick? Get involved, bro. Is this what you want? I would rather dock with Anthony. Yeah. Aiden thinks he'll catch feelings with me.

Slime, you're too excited about that. Admit that's the reason. No. Not be afraid to catch feelings. Admit you get hard. Anyway.

Let's go back to the beef. The beef's on. All right, the beef's on. So, uh... Docking at 20K. So you guys remember the Minecraft story. Not 20K. Shut up!

Shut up! My time! Shut up! We broke him. This is good. Shut up! We broke him like a horse. Go ahead, horse.

It's me. Come on, content horse. Get up! Get up! You guys remember the Minecraft story, right? That's me. Come on, content horse. Get up. Get up. You guys remember the Minecraft story, right? That's right. When Loby betrayed me. I love Loby.

Loby's playing Elden Scrolls, and he's in a mine shaft, and he's going through, and he's killing all the miners in there. And he stops for a moment, and he goes, you know what I'm doing right now? This is really fucked up. Like, imagine, he says verbatim, imagine like, you spend all day mining, like all day mining, and then someone comes, and just kills you, and takes all the shit,

you spent all day working for, someone just kills you, and takes all your shit. That's fucked. And I immediately DM him, on Discord. I'm like, what?

I'm like, what? I immediately DM him, I go, oh yeah, Ludwig, imagine that. Imagine someone came,

when you're mining all day, kills you and takes all your shit, and he didn't reply. I did reply to it on stream. He didn't reply to me. I saw it and I read it on stream, but it was a few minutes after because I didn't see it for a while.

But I also was not killing them. It was funny because what I do is I just, the way you play the game, I play the game, is I run through every single mini NPC, like aggro unit to the boss. But I steal all the loot along the way. And I die sometimes, but it's all right because you keep the stuff.

So I was just running through mines, stealing all the shit as they're mining it from them. And I was like, it's so fucked if they're showing up to work. And then they're like, what do they tell their boss? Because they all are really powerful too. They don't have my body to prove that i was there they're just like it was all gone boss a man came and just took all the shit really fast you know that you know that scene in whiplash where he loses the folder and he just like yeah i mean you fucking lost my folder yeah it's that for every minor yeah i'm just robbing them blind i was uh, did you consciously say that with Nick in mind?

No. Because I didn't... First of all, it wasn't my mineshaft in this game. Second of all, I didn't kill them. Okay?

Plus no bitches. He was slashing pots and pans, I guess, or whatever. Plus no mineshaft. Anyway. I was just running around speed of light. Okay.

I was at Ted's house yesterday and his girlfriend's playing the same game and she's really into it she's in the middle of a boss fight that the past three times she has just run away from because it scared her so she would be like, ah!

and then she would run until the health bar goes away but this time she was like, I'm gonna kill it I'm gonna do it and she stands up to it, gets the health bar halfway down she's on one hit though and then the controller died and she starts screaming and she's like running around that like ted what do i do and he's like uh uh i don't uh

she's like looking for the he's like grab the other one and he goes and grabs it and she dies and yeah i think what you do is you run and you press a button on the playstation that's exactly what i said into sleep mode i thought this is dumb i thought they were playing on the PlayStation. That's exactly what I said. Put it into sleep mode. I thought, this is dumb. I thought they were playing on the Switch because it was the console that was out. Oh. And I said, oh, press the Switch. And she's like, what?

I confused her for a moment. And I'm like, just press, and he's like, it's PlayStation. We're like having a conversation now. He's like, it's the, I'm like, oh, it's the PlayStation. And she's like, what do I do? What then should I do?

That also wouldn't work. That was pretty good. I think that. It would just reset at the start of the fight. the switch would also just melt into a puddle if it tried to run that game it's funny here here's dude you're such a piece of shit oh okay i'm down okay two bees two beeps again come here and get over here audio listeners it is it is now swallowed come doc we're talking about a lot of it foreskin has now enveloped the studio set. It's like Kirby.

The relationship can never be equal. You can never dock me. He's always the dom to you. I could try. No. You don't think I could? You were trying to park your garage in your car. That's what we could do.

The Patreon goal should be enough money for you to get a skin graft Operation So you can finally document Give Slime Foreskin a 20k Dude could I get like a different shade of skin Just for like a mix If somebody was willing to donate

Like I don't know I mean it's just I have the opportunity Damn your shit got the fitting cap on Yeah Penis cap number 5 I mean, it's just, I have the opportunity to like. Damn, your shit got the fitting cap on? Yeah. Penis cap number five. Yeah, you can. So, okay.

I am your piece of shit because this is like, this is like this landmark gaming like thing to come out in the past like fucking whatever years. And everyone's like, damn, this fucking rules. And you're just, and you're just shitting through it as fast as you can, just like every other goddamned fucking streamer. There's no love here. It's disgusting. Wow, this is a really strong opinion. Yeah, I don't think you've watched me play it.

No, man. I was like, wow. He said he watched you play it. I'm like, that's great. Argument over. To be fair, I don't want to watch it because I want to play it. I want to agree with you, but he's on day six right now. Sure.

I've put a lot of hours in. Well, he did tell me he figured out Asmongold's way of farming souls, and I'm like, oh, God, fuck that guy. I do have a soul farm. Why fuck that guy? Just because, I don't know, it's just the idea of like, I'm going to shit this game out real fast for the content. Asmongold quit.

Quit what? He didn't finish the game? No. The only person who's beat the game is xQc on stream and then Jacksepticeye beat it off stream. But he got early access. You mean like the only big streamers beat the game? Yes. Yes. The only people that like you. I was going to say, if xQc just got there first that'd be nuts. No.

Certainly other people have. What are you playing downstairs right now as we do this podcast? The Yard. Yeah, he's playing it up. He's a genius. Marketing genius. We're meeting Anderson up here and I'm watching a little bit

to see how far he is from ending. He starts putting on The Yard. He's like, which one should we watch, boys? Which one should we watch? I look over at Aiden and I'm like, he's a marketing genius.

Which episode did you choose? Two from the last because then I'll autoplay into the last. Okay. And then I'll be down there. I'm like, this,

all I'm thinking about is how to beat Final Boss. You're not thinking about content right now? I guess we should probably ask you how it's been. Because it's like mini sub-a-thon again. Yeah, what I was thinking is this morning when you walked out of your room and I saw you,

and I haven't seen you in in days just a preface you are doing a stream right now where you're playing the goddamn mr ring game and if you you don't get to stop streaming until you beat the whole game the stream ends when i beat elden ring and you've been streaming for like five days it came out thursday at 3 p.m and it's monday at 3 p.m you looked, when you came downstairs, more upset or distraught than you ever were during the entire subathon. No, I was a warrior. I went downstairs, so I've been playing this game, and obviously, like any FromSoft game, there's a bunch of bosses.

Like 83 total. And they're all big. They're all strong. Big old guys. And a pain in the ass. Dude, watching you fight the one on the horse in the big sandy field or whatever, it's like you're on the horse and you go up and you stand behind things while it throws purple stuff at you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was watching you fight that one and I was just like, this is hard to watch. There are bosses that took me like five hours straight of grinding and it's been a pain in the ass. And the final obviously just gets harder. And so last night I felt the worst I've ever felt streaming. I was just fucking, I didn't want to do it.

Like, I just don't want to do it. Yeah. Cause, cause like I was, the game's fun and I've, I've said this several times and I've, I've been enjoying it,

but the way I'm doing it is like a masochistic way because I have a desire to finish it so I can get back to my daily life. I've put up everything boys. Every day. Yeah. I'm not kidding. He was getting chewed out. I don't know who, but someone was giving him a lot of shit. He's like, look, I'm sorry. I just haven't looked at my phone. He's trying to explain what the sub-a-thon is.

And I'm like, this is funny. It was like a business thing. I haven't answered in a few days. And he called me the moment I left. So I answered. And he was about to back out. I was about to lose a business deal. I love the idea of, like, people doing business with you

are watching your stream to catch you when you leave the room. That is fucking funny. I think it was coincidence for this guy. Yeah, for this guy. But Jay, my YouTube manager also, who's like, hey, I know you're doing the Elden Ring thing, but, like, what else are you doing? Dude, I love that if you were a better

gamer then you would get more opportunities this is crazy you're actually a pro gamer i'm not that like a bad pro game i'm not that slow yeah but if you were better if i was better than yes it would be over quicker and that's funny and i would have more opportunities but barely by like a few hours more opportunities i would have been less mad yeah so yesterday i was mauling i was on my wits end and chat's miserable for this right because it's been going for so many days people pop in and everyone's like one how are you awake answer i'm sleeping but they don't look so they don't know it's like two how much is left which is like either i know the answer like i do now and i just repeated to repeat it a bunch,

or I don't know, because I've never played it, I've never beaten it, and it's just, it's non-stop, and then, for some reason, this game invites

the biggest assholes of snootiness. Oh, yeah. Like, more so than anything you've played normally? Like, worse than PogoStuck. Yeah, everyone's like, got greedy there.

Oh, my God. Didn't want it enough, want it i was watching when he was fighting her particularly like hard boss it took me a whole day to beat and some guy came in chat and like said something and he was like he says the guy's name and says like why the fuck you are you chatting he's going like that and he was like that's the only one i'm gonna read the rest of you are gonna type the same stuff and you're gonna wither away in the sand of time and no one will ever think of you or or even read your message i won't read your message that's the only one he's the only person i'm gonna read all the rest of you or even read your message. I won't read your message. That's the only one. He's the only person I'm going to read. All the rest of you, you'll disappear forever.

And I was like, you and Anthony are the same. I love that. I love when you break. I love when you reach your human limit and show yourself as a fucking real guy. He's a skeleton man, yeah. Yes. No, that's gamifying it. Thank you.

Thank you for himself. I beat it. Because if you read one guy, it invites a bunch of other people to talk shit. But then you say that as they're typing it in, then they all bad it's like an aoe hit yeah yeah if you if you clock them while they're doing it oh yeah they gotta shamefully delete and then i move on yeah i like that you got you got your own you got your own weapons against chat i have one thing or two mine is just ruthless brutal aggression And banning Because it feels good

It's like candy It's bad for the stream Yeah I'm not trying to put on a good show brother I'm just trying to get to the end Like you But anyway this morning when I was broody You were brooding

Were you mean to Eamon No he wasn't mean he was just brooding I was broody. You were brooding. Were you mean to Eamon? No, no. He wasn't mean. He was just brooding. I was just like, I was warrior path because I went to bed thinking about it and I woke up thinking about it and I two tried the boss.

It was sick. Second to last boss. Wow, you visualized it. I just two shot. That's like climbing. That's like when I failed Minecraft course for days and then I come back

and I won tryouts. I haven't climbed in years. Wait, what's Minecraft course? Oh, there was a climb that had like square blocks that we were calling the Minecraft climb and Aiden couldn't do it

and then the next day he did it. He couldn't do it for... Oh, actually it wasn't the next day. It was like... Eons, bro. It was like a week or two later. Struggling. You had to go pick up more orbs.

But it's the same thing. You sleep on it, you come back refreshed, you bang that shit out. He popped off pretty hard in the gym. I haven't seen him pop off that hard before.

Really? Yeah. Was it too much? Be honest with me. No, it's fine. In the gym it's fine. Pop-offs seen him pop off that hard before. Really? Yeah. Was it too much? Be honest with me. No, that's fine. No, in the gym it's fine. Pop-offs are hype. Yeah.

Juan has it down. Sometimes there's pop-offs, though. Yeah, that's why. Before I popped off, I walked over to the front desk and I was like, can you put this song on? And then I went back.

It's called Guile's Theme. Hbox posted a clip today where he guesses the wordle second try with like no info it pops off in my head i was like you think you cheated the clip yes no no yes no i because he was like because he was like i might joke and he wrote the word and then he sent it and he popped off i was like i'm like you think that's a bit but he's acting like he probably heard so i also spent before typing joke. He was like, how about insert?

It was like, wasn't a word. Like you said, like, well, how about this? It wasn't words. And he was like, what if I choke? He is a cocksucker. Oh, okay. Yeah. You just want to go right for that.

I'm just saying if you're faking the funk, then that's what you are. There was a good tweet. Well, you don't know if he's fake. There was a good tweet about this. I believe that he is. That put my thoughts to paper for me into words. If you do it on the first two tries, you don't know if he's faking it. There was a good tweet about this. I believe that he is. That put my thoughts to paper for me into words. If you do it on the first two tries, it doesn't count. It means

you just got lucky. No. No. That's stupid. Try one, I agree. Try two, I don't agree. Try one, I agree. But try two, yeah. I think try two, you can get enough info. You can make some magic happen on try two. If you get one yellow O and guess it on try two, you're a legend. By the way, that's the... Wait, that's lucky. No. Because you got a bunch of letters that it isn't's that's the wait that's that's lucky no because

you got a bunch of letters that it isn't in the first one so you didn't use those letters and you chose other letters so your second try was an informed decision yeah but your informed decision is so unlikely to be the correct that's why you're a god legend but that's just that's you're just you're just hitting you hey i found the guy who's never gotten two. I have. Listen. They're all lucky. I did this today in front of Nick. And you know what? I picked Chode because I thought it'd be funny. Like many other goddamn Americans.

He didn't just pick Chode. He looked at me and said, no way. And then wrote Chode. And he was like. And it starts going. He's like. Yeah. It let him do it.

And then the D wasn't there. And I'm like, oh. He said it like a gift I got him for Christmas. And he was like yeah it let him do it and then it uh and then the d wasn't there and i'm like oh he said it like a gift i got him for christmas and he was like you didn't yeah and he opened it like wasn't what i got it what but it wasn't but i was like i i've never done this before i was like i'm done i beat the word i don't give a shit because it doesn't matter right now they gave me chode and it's almost enough and that was on guests i have a question for you guys i want your opinion on something slime did today i don't have an opinion really i didn't think it's funny but i want your opinion slime so we went to this like super super weird trendy like restaurant in culver city today because nothing was open everything in culver city opens at 11 a.m so

so if you want to go there for late night for breakfast just fucking don't not even that burger it's not even a late night town. So we go to Culver City. And the only thing that's open is this very hipster, vegan, vegetarian place. We go there. And the girl working the register has a shaved head. And Slime walked up and said, ah, same haircut. Yeah. How do you feel about that?

Fire. You think it's fire? She laughed immediately. She did laugh. But she also was behind the counter. That's great. She must laugh. She did laugh, but she also was behind the counter. That's great. She must laugh. No, no.

I know a fake service person laugh from a real one because- Because you've done that a lot. Dude, because remember we were in the fucking drive-thru, and that woman was having none of our shit. Which one? The chocolate boy one? No. It was recent. It was before we left.

I should clarify that. It was Starby. We were just yelling, I'm a chocolate boy. No, I didn't say that. I said, he's a chocolate boy one? No, it was before we left. I should clarify that. We were just yelling, I'm a chocolate boy. No, I didn't say that. I said he's a chocolate boy. He's a chocolate boy now. He's not because he wanted a mocha. He was me.

And a mocha is made out of chocolate in it. The problem is how loud you say things, not what you're saying. Oh, so he's a chocolate boy now. He wants his chocolate because he's a milky bear. You're even doing it probably more tame than how loud you were there. He was way louder. Hold on. I have a question. Was her head shaved like your head?

Clearly it was shaved? Or was there a non-zero chance this was a chemo? It was a style choice for sure. Okay. Well. It was coming. It was growing out probably like a five. Okay. No. It was not a five. like probably like a five. I feel like that's the- No. I feel like that's the- It was not a five.

It was slight- A.5. Yeah. It was a.5. I feel like that's the gamble you're running is that I think if the person has that haircut, then they've chosen it. But if- I made a hard read that they definitely chose it.

Yeah. It's a sick slip up though. It was funny. That's a custom slip up. I don't go back and change it. Yeah. But's like oh i have cancer actually i'm a dad died like we're both sad what the fuck do you want for me run that that is hilarious like i don't give a shit okay like i i am not trying to hurt their feelings you're like you're like oh i'm a lira. That's crazy.

Would have been crazy if we had two. I have a podcast. You know? Like, we're both bald. We're both in a bad spot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. She's probably not in a bad spot. Well, if she had cancer, she would.

What's worse, bro? Having cancer or living bald? I've been saying this. I like how if a guy's bald, you're like a this. I like how if a guy's bald, you're like a supervillain, and if a girl's bald, she has cancer. There's no world where if you're bald, you just made a choice.

I was in the car. There's no one who does this voluntarily. We were driving, and I was like, we were talking about the place, I think, and she got brought up. And I was like, you know what, dude? Like, women? And Nathan starts laughing.

And I was like, no, no, no, but for real. Like, you can't shit. And he was like, it's stolen valor right now. Thank you. Thank you. I was like, it's stolen valor. It's stolen valor, bro. She had the most beautiful hairline ever because fucking it was just all there.

We went like about seven layers deep again in the dip, in the seven layer bean dip. We went down to the beans. You want to hear something weird Mike Hayes did? Do you hear about this? Yeah. Everyone has heard about it. I've been holding this one. Have you? Yeah, everyone has heard about it. I've been holding this one. Have you?

Yeah, I've heard about it. You've heard it? Yeah, I mean, what do you... I think it's only funny... Let's get it out there. Yeah, let's see if it's funny. Because fuck Mike Hayes. No, he's fine.

He's a nice guy. You don't gotta say fuck Mike... Actually, you know what? Oh my god, I forgot. Wait, I have to go to the car. What? I have to get my ring. Oh, yeah.

I have to go to the car. Don't worry, we'll my ring. Oh, yeah. I have to grab my ring. He has to go to the car. Don't worry. We'll hold it down. Oh, the Amon ring? We'll hold it down. I have to get my elder ring. What is he doing?

What is he talking about right now? I know what he's doing. I can't say what. Anyway. Oh! Have we ever shown this on the main app? Everyone knows? I think I know what this is about loosely.

Yeah, because when he went down, there was a cringe contest when you went down. That was Patreon, wasn't it? No, it was before that. You know what this is about? I have to sit here and guess like a fucking asshole? What is this shit? I want to just say right now on the episode live, I think that when I square Aiden in the face, it's on the Patreon episode.

I don't think it is because I think... Okay, that one, who cares? The one is that we predate the episode as the bonus content with that person leaving. And we say, bye, you're going to the cringe competition. It's either Ludwig or you. Right, so we do show that anyways. And this already happened. But, yeah, man, we're just chilling.

Now, hey, dad's away. Yeah. What will go wrong? Can we prank him? Can we get him? Step Brothers. I just pour my water bottle on him when he comes up. We all pour liquid on him when he comes up.

Oh, on his head? On his dumb little head. Just waterboard his dumb ass? The ultimate try not to cum challenge, Zipper put up. That would be nuts. Zipper wants to see bloodshed. We get involved i uh when we were having that conversation i i just thought of something that happened like this is like this is months ago uh but i was like i matched with like an account

on bumble and i was like why do i how do i recognize this person like this is weird it looks like another person that i know but i can't remember where she's from and i thought about it for a long time and i realized it's this just girl who makes porn videos but it's like a catfish account oh because i've found more than one account that specifically uses this girl's pictures oh wow and i'm like maybe i've maybe i need to not watch porn anymore like it's bad that i know you're out you're out knowing that the catfish because you've seen the porn of the real person yeah is it like a deep cut is that it for for the

her her name her screen name is a big titty goth egg and there's almost certainly people listening who know who I'm talking about. There's like 10,000 young men across the country simultaneously like, ah. Not a chance. One of them's got a second tabbed and her first tabbed. Yeah, real shit.

Please don't listen to the Yard podcast while you beat. I would appreciate that. Just turn it off. I don't know if the Yard podcast while you beat. I would appreciate that. Just turn it off. I don't know if they were until you said it. Now someone's going to take a photo like this. Like, hey, guys. Yeah. Just know that when you do that, I will actually hate you as a person.

So if the attention's worth it. This is like when we made that joke. I think it's during the very first episode. Maybe the second episode. But we postured the question, what percent of listeners right now do you think have their dick in their hand while they're watching or listening? And then Ludwig makes that joke about DMing me

if you have your dick in your hand. Oh, really? Is that where it started? But because people still watch the backlog of episodes, they start from episode one, people still DM me that. It's like, hey, Aiden, heard I'm supposed to DM you. I want you to know

I did have my dick in my hand. I want you to know if you fucking sent that to me at any point, you were just one of thousands of meaningless direct messages that I have received, and it is absolutely

the most fucking annoying thing. The episode where we're all slime. The episode where we're all slime. Oh wow. Turns out things are annoying when they keep happening at the same time. Just don't make the same fucking dick in your hand joke. You know what version of this I go through? I get a DM once every day or two.

There's one or two of them that just says, happy birthday because we had an episode where it was my birthday and we said, comment happy birthday in there whatever that's so funny and i get so many messages like once every couple days happy birthday and i'm like yeah so time moves forward and and changes so like when that happened that was not now and even maybe i like that one fucking dumb i like that one posted Instagram story, and then someone replied to it, and they were like, you know, I'm worried about you, slime, like some sort of joke.

And I replied, I was like, why? And then they were like, oh, my God, I can't believe you responded. Guys, everyone reads their fucking DMs. People who tell you that they don't, it's just fun. Like, even if you're Ludwig and you get literally thousands sometimes just open the unreads and just scroll and see what everyone looks at them okay it's not like fucking ryan gosling okay all the people in this space that you enjoy they're human and they'll read that shit except me i don't don't try it's not and and i don't i don't read them anymore, so don't even bother. But it's the reply that you probably won't get.

But I hate that idea that it's like, oh, I'm just shoving it into the void. It's like, dude, I went to Starbucks and got food. I'm a guy with a phone. How is this so fucking hard to understand? How are you so content-pilled? We need Ludwig, man. He keeps us positive. No, he doesn't.

Ludwig leaves them we're all fucking all over the place it's more he rules by fear because i'm afraid that if we start getting real he'll start getting all fucking antsy he gets antsy he gets really antsy you can see him kind of squirming around in his chair he's like oh dude i was talking to anthony in the car earlier we're driving i was telling this funny story about how there's this like kid at my high school who people called doug because they thought he looked like doug from the show yeah and uh i was telling him i'm like oh here i'll show you what he looks like who people called Doug cause they thought he looked like Doug from the show. Yeah. And, uh, I was telling him, I'm like, Oh,

here, I'll show you what he looks like. You can, you can tell me if you think he looks like Doug. And I'm like, Oh, social media is gone. What happened?

And then I find him cause he was arrested and he has a mug shot now. And I was like, he got arrested. And I was like, what are you arrested for? I don't want to say, but he got arrested for some fucking hardcore shit. And wild.

I was like, damn it. We should have called him. Shouldn't have called him Doug all the time. We shouldn't have done that. In the same vein, I actually had, this is two nights ago,

I actually had this like awful nightmare that we decided to have that guy Seth as a guest on the podcast. Explain Seth. Explain who Seth is again. Seth was the guy

who had sex with a horse. That's right and went to my school he double teamed a horse he went Quad City DJs with another guy who interestingly enough somebody who knew him is closer or was

closer to him messaged me about it and they were like is this who I think it is and explained how they knew him and they were like is this is this who i think it is and like explained how they knew him and uh i was like yeah they were like yeah and then we just like chatted about it for a bit apparently seth is integrated back into society it's like a big you know like fucking yeah trying to move on with his life maybe within a hundred and i remember this in my head like really distinctly right and and i had a nightmare that for some reason he's a guest on the podcast but you guys

are like mercilessly bullying him and i and i'm clearly like the link of having like brought him on i was like why did i do this like why did i bring him here to be like further like embarrassed and made fun of it directly on the set of our show like How did the dream, if it concluded, how did it end? It ended with me apologizing to him. I love that. I love that a guy fucks a horse and Aiden can level with him. Aiden's the one who's sorry.

I woke up and I was like, that didn't happen for real. In my head, it was so real. I had a dream that Nick died and it was kind of the same thing you cry i was pretty upset it was funny because in the dream i was like i'm way more upset than i thought it would be bro like we were being like chased by a serial killer that was trying to kill like me and like some friends from high school and like nick and then they they got him and we found his body in a dumpster.

Dude, you're like... And I looked, and he was dead, and I was really, really fucked up about it. Yeah. Why are you shocked? And in the dream, I'm like, wow, this is hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would. You're like, oh, darn, right?

Like a real stinker? Dude, I mean, honestly, it's hard to imagine. Right now, I think you die. I'm like, I'm climbing in three days, you know? But if it actually happens, it's hard to imagine it. Like, right now, I think you die. I'm like, I'm climbing in three days, you know? But if it actually happens, it's probably like a week. We don't fucking care, man. No, yeah, I feel that. I feel that.

I get that. In the saddest turn of events, I can't find the ring. Oh, what? You were down there for a while. I can't find it. It was in the car in the little cubby. All right, anyway. What happened?

So, me and Ludwig are driving after rock climbing. And we turn onto the freeway and there's a car parked on like the ribbon and there's a guy outside with his thumb up like he's trying to like get attention and and ludwig's like he pulls over and he goes he looks at me and says if we die it's a podcast story and i'm like what i'm like what he doesn't get it so he pulls i was more thinking like he'd die i'd go climbing the next day tell the podcast story okay all right and so i was like i'm like not in the same mental framework as him this guy comes over he rolls the window down he says the first thing he

says he goes i'm from dubai and i'm very wealthy but i what he said like my car broke down so he's he's first of all driving a Mercedes. Okay. Oh, okay. It's a pretty nice car. He has a car. He has a car. I thought he was just like a man.

Side of the road in a Mercedes thumbs up. Looks like a breakdown. Right on as you're about to get on the highway. I pull over. I'm like, let's help this chap out. Get a podcast story on the way. This is so fucked. We can't live like this. Farm a pod story.

We can't live like this. At least verbally. We can't say it like that. Let's just live our lives and not say the podcast part, you fucking prick. So I gave a homeless man $100 this week. I figured we could talk about that for a while. No, because if we didn't have a podcast, I would have shot that guy in the fucking face. I would have swerved to hit him.

Well, it's all about podcast stories, man. I told Putin to spice things up this week. So Wend window rolls down he leans into the car but on Nick's side like he's on my side so he leans into the car his head is in the car

and he goes I'm from Dubai you can tell because he also said yeah and he goes I'm a millionaire from Dubai

and my indentured servants didn't fill my gas and he's like my car broke down and he said something like like I need money to go fill the gas thing and ludwig i think what you were saying yeah he was like yeah i was like yeah i just need money to get gas and i was like and let me not

give it to him i'll do you one better yeah i'll get the gas for you lovely's like we'll go get the gas and we'll bring it to you and so we can put gas in your car by the way are you like weird we have a podcast he's wearing wearing Gucci, by the way. He's like if Always Sunny had like a ruse to steal money from people. That's like his setup. And so he pauses for a moment when Ludwig says, we'll get you gas.

And he goes, no, I need to feed my kids. He changes the script. And so this guy is leaning closer into the car. He's like over me. I can kind of feel him breathe. If Nick had a 12-inch dick, he'd be giving him top. Yeah. Yeah.

Unfortunately, I don't. No top was had. Only a niner. Yeah. The guy even brought it up. Only a niner. Too bad. And Ludwig's like, oh, sorry, man.

Like, you know, I don't have a lot of cash. So it's like. What I do is I whip open. I have like the little middle, and I whip it open. And he's like, I need cash. It goes back and forth. And I have the Mr. Beast stack of $1 bills. Oh, fuck.

Because I put $100 in the glove box just in case I ever needed cash. Not the glove box. What do you call that? Is it wrapped? No, but he only had in the center console, he only had $20. Maybe $20. But it looks thick, right? It's still a thick wad you know you could slap someone with it and so i just give it to him and i'm like

after a little bit i don't even know when the ring comes in oh so so he no so he goes before you hand the money he takes off his ring he's wearing a big gold ring and he goes i i'll give you my ring this is this is like a 14 kar gold ring. I'll give it to you as collateral. So I'll go get gas and come back and get the ring so you trust me. And we were like, no, man, no. We don't need the ring. He's like, no, take the ring. Take the ring.

And he gives the ring to Ludwig. Ludwig takes the ring. He's holding it. And he's like, yeah, well, this is all I got. And he hands him my 20 bucks. And the guy looks at the money and goes, I just gave you a 14-karat gold ring. And he's getting yeah well this is all i got and he hands him like 20 bucks and the guy looks at the money and goes i just gave you a 14 karat gold ring and he's getting kind of aggressive now and ludwig's like i'm sorry man and ludwig's in the thing where he just got nothing else to say he's like i'm sorry man that's all i'm like you want that you can give the ring back and the guy's like i gotta feed my kids you know i gotta feed my kids right and i'm and he's him and eric and

he's over the car he's like in the car and i'm like sitting there i'm like both fists clenched i'm ready i'm ready to fucking brawl i'm like this guy starts going for my neck and he's over the car. He's in the car. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, both fists clenched. I'm ready to fucking brawl. I'm like, this guy starts going for my neck. And he's like, you want to give me money now? I'm like, I got to fight the guy. So I'm like, fuck you, Ludwig. You're on the fucking safe side of the car. You goddamn criminal.

I was feeling great about it. And Ludwig's like, sorry, man. That's all I got. I'm sorry, man. That's all I got. And he's like, I'm from Dubai. And he's like, you don't get it. I'm from Dubai.

I'm a millionaire. And Ludwig's like, I know. I don't have any money. And the guy just goes like like scoffs lets us keep the ring and then leaves imagine i'm in the back and then i'm like oh i've been to the uae like how do you like it he's like hey you don't ask people that you don't say that this is have any of you seen tinder swindler yet? No. That Netflix documentary? Yeah, I watched it. I watched it back half.

This is Tinder Swindler. A little bit, yeah. He's using a burglary, and you're just boss babying it. No, I think it's the idea of using actual objects that show your wealth physically in front of you to show people that you're wealthy, rather than a fucking email scam where you're just saying it you know right that's this birth tinder swindler not the other way around but yeah it's he also said you because i took the ring and the ring was fucking huge it's like this big old it's like double triple the size of the one i'm wearing right now the super bowl champs x literally it looks like a super bowl champion ring. And I was holding it, and I gave him all my cash.

And then he kept saying, give me $14 back. And I thought he meant the $14. I thought he was asking for $14 more. But what I understood was he wanted the ring back. I think he wanted the ring back, but I misunderstood him. I was like, I don't got $14, brother. So I just kept holding it from him, and he wanted the ring back. And then eventually, he was like, rip it. And then eventually, he's just swiping it, like, from Dubai.

He was like, all right. And then he walks off. We drive maybe, like, 500 feet. I look to my left. I see a $20 bill where you put the cups in the door holder. And I go, oh. And I go to pull over, and Nick's like, no, no, no, no. You were going to go back?

Yeah, I was going to be like, I got 20 for you. I'm like, you freak. Keep going, weirdo. And we keep the ring. I was like, huh, I got a ring. And I'm like, you maniac. Dude, it's great. And now you still have it.

So the ring is somewhere. I lost it. I bought a gold tester for $600 just to test if it's real gold. Because we were like, imagine it's real and we're the assholes. Because there's two realities. One is a 99% likelihood. It's a classic gold ring scam where they give you

like a shitty $5 metal ring in exchange for maybe 20s, hundreds of dollars. Or, it's a man from Dubai whose kids are in a hotel hungry who needed a bit of cash

and I have his gold ring. The only weird thing is um pressed into the ring it says 18k okay yeah i'm like oh he doesn't know what he gave us he gave us a better ring gave us the 18k i'm still like i'm confused is he just like part it's like his job he just parks his mercedes on the on-ramp yeah they have a scam going i don't know i've never seen him in that spot ever again since yeah i go there we go there all the time i It's like his job. He just parks his Mercedes on the on-ramp. Yeah, they have a scam going. I don't know. I've never seen him in that spot ever again since. We go there all the time. I think about it every time.

I feel like it's such an insane scam to do it right there, like right on the on-ramp highway. It's like if your goal is to make $20, maybe you have 40 rings. You need a lot of traffic. An entrance to a major freeway, that'll get you there. I guess, yeah. You can't really do it at an intersection or something. I got a really big team.

I got some really big rings. What is that guy? I'm from Dubai. The artist. So anyway, I'll try to find the ring. If I do, we'll gold test it. Maybe throw it on the Patreon. The Amen.

Ooh, that'd be hype. You can get the ring. We have to clear out. I think it is in my car. It has all the computers from the Australians. Because I loaded it. I never unloaded it. I think it is in my car. I just have to. It has all the computers from the Australians because I loaded it. I never unloaded it. I love the idea that Nick Ealing's been sitting around like a fucking bodyguard.

He could have him do it. You know? Yeah. I guess you've been busy. I've been busy playing Elden Scrolls, bro. Yeah. This guy hasn't replied to a goddamn message in five days. Insane.

I'm not shit stream thinks he like turns off the stream comes upstairs we're like Ludwig and he's like oh guys what do you want to do? We all hang out. It's like I haven't talked to him in five days. They know dude because I put a timer for

I gave myself eight hours and 35 minutes from when I stopped playing to sleep and brush my teeth and shower and eat and come back

which is like pretty tight. It's funny that you're not sleeping on stream anymore. You're beat. You're washed. It's funny that you're not sleeping on stream anymore. You you're beat. You're washed. It's just not worth it. Plus ratio. Plus L.

Plus. Plus French. Stands. Plus stands. Me and Zeke were saying that all weekend when we were hanging out in Detroit because he was just like, Zeke's funny. He's like, he's like ours quietly. Our biggest fans.

Oh, you should, you should tell you should tell the class where you went. Oh, yeah. So I went after London. I went to... London for those. So I've been planning this trip for a while where me and our friend Zeke, we really like the video.

You could probably bring it up. It's called Kingdom Hearts, and then in parentheses, original. And it's this video that's been on the internet for a long, long time of two guys, two like teenagers, and they're in like, what do you call them? What are the big pants?

The JNCO jeans? They're not JNCOs. They're like, there's a word for them. Shuffling pants? Cargo pants? They're just big ass pants that was like really cool in the mid 2000s. And they're basically acting

as their Kingdom Hearts characters in what I believe is their own OC. And so they're basically acting as their kingdom hearts characters in what i believe is their own oc and so they're in this parking lot in the winter and they're just fighting each other with umbrellas but they're like they're choreographing so here it is riku what'd you do the kairi oh nice and so so one of them's riku and one of them's roxas um riku's the guy in the big pants yeah there's like shuffler pants so look at this shit they're going crazy so this is in rochester hills michigan yeah yeah 30 miles north of detroit slime dms me like a month ago and he's like i need your services because in the past i've been pretty good at finding spots that like he's wondering where the picture's from or something

i need your services i need you to find this location for me and i'm like i'm gonna do my best and he ended up finding it first yeah but uh but he discovers where the location is okay so there's this part in it where the the the person playing rocks is about to get you know destroyed and then he like gets the other umbrella and then he grabs two of them and he shouts out dual wield and that's sort of the climax and it's just a beautiful it's a beautiful piece of internet lore and also just something really funny. Me and Zeke like this video a lot. And so I found the goddamn parking lot,

and I was like, do you want to go there? He's like, yeah. I was like, I'll pay for your ticket. Let's just fucking do it. And it was convenient that I was already flying around, and so I had him meet me, and we went to the parking lot. We took pictures. You might have seen it on my social stuff. And you I had him meet me and we went and we went to the parking lot. We took pictures. You might've seen it on my social stuff.

And you dressed up. Yeah, and we dressed up. I was Kyrie. It's like you were cosplaying for like an event. Yeah, it was funny. Why not Riku and Roxas? Because I thought it'd be funny if one of us was Kyrie, that's all.

And it was. And Kyrie's mentioned in the video. So it's lore friendly. Also in the game. You know what's crazy? Is that there was still a snow pile. That was like 15 years ago. We went to the same parking lot and there was still a snow pile.

So they've been taking care of that lot the same way for 15 years. Yeah. They've been keeping that snow for 15 years. I bet. It's just cold as shit there. I bet there was a guy that plowed that parking lot. Hoping one day. It was the same.

And he was like, here they fucking go again. They came back. Oh, yeah. So that's Zeke up on the mountain. And I told him to hold it like Roxas. And then there's another one where I'm... Yeah. We kept doing state champs, the number one.

That was our shit. And then he's dual wielding here this is so yeah this is my little field trip that i took yeah has anyone else done this i've never seen a picture on the internet of someone else like visiting it i might be the first one like i imagine people have gone just who maybe even live there i don't think so i think i think you underestimate because this was like way before like you know i had to do it to him was a way bigger meme yeah people went there and they found it because it's like the street is part of it right it's an iconic area slime was the first person to find it to find you know because you found it so i didn't find it first but people went and they and they like took pictures but this

particular spot it is just a parking lot that location doesn't matter it's about the people that are there so i i would like to think I'm the first one. To go and recreate it? Yeah, that could make sense. To go and see it because we saw it in the video. I imagine someone who just lives there saw the video and was like, oh, fuck. That's like, fuck, down the street. That doesn't count.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, if it's like you know that's where it is. Locals. Yeah. And then you still were gone, by the way. Oh, fuck. I knew you were supposed to do that, and you just never came back still. Yeah. And then you still were gone, by the way. Oh, fuck. I knew you were supposed to do that, and you just never came back still. Yeah, I went to Vegas, bro.

And at some point, QT was like, where's Slime been? Wait, you went to Vegas? Yeah, I was in Vegas. Oh. Because he wasn't. I was like, what is he in Detroit for four days for? Yeah, no. I went to Vegas.

I was like, ah, the last leg of my journey. Solo? Yeah. Dude, he posts. I went to play poker. You didn't watch his story on Instagram? It was crazy. You didn't watch his story on Instagram? It was crazy. He has

what looks like 20 grand in his hand. He's like 20 grams of chips in his hand. And he just got unstuck. Yeah, he got unstuck. And I messaged him like, holy shit. And then the next day, he just posted another picture and it's two $25 chips. And it just says, Zam.

I messaged him, bro. I got diced. I got diced up. I played the 5-10 game and I got flopped two straights, got it in. It was gross. 5-10's pretty big time. Yeah, it is pretty big time. I was like, fuck it. Let's play the big game.

But I will say, I think I got mostly unlucky. I still played terribly, but i did get unlucky also a guy it was actually dude i got called a slur at the poker table there was this guy it was tough this guy from like north carolina or something because he kept saying it and he was chipped up this was on the the 2-5 game which is a little smaller but it's still like this guy's sitting on like 4k worth of chips he's chipped up and he's like pretty drunk and he's playing pretty well,

even though he's like, you know, being kind of loud and shit. And I suck out on him on a hand. I like, you know, make a big hand and he loses. And he calls me the slur for Jewish people. Whoa. I know. Whole table. It's like 3 a.m.

Whole table's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, it was fucked up. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm fucked up he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry you know i just i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm just gonna and i was just like and i was just like that's insane that you that's insane that's crazy that you called me that so i i kind of confront him about it i was like that's crazy you called me that and he's like oh what are you jewish i'm like no but you shouldn't be calling people that like at all like don't do that and he's like oh well are you jewish i'm like no but you shouldn't be calling people that like at all like don't do that and he's like well i'm sorry like i didn't mean to like you know like

i didn't realize this was the jewish convention he literally started doing that well i didn't mean to offend anybody like if you're offended i'm sorry like i'm sorry like if you're offended i was like dude i just don't think that like you just shouldn't say that that's all i'm sorry like i'm sorry like if you're offended i was like dude i just don't think that like you just shouldn't say that that's all i'm trying to say and then and then i was like that's all i need to say i i'm ending the conversation but then he kept being like oh i'm sorry next hand comes everyone folds if i offend you i'm sorry the guy next to him like i'm sorry and then and then everyone's just like weirded out and then he's like, oh, you know, I'm going to get up. The vibes, this is weird.

I'm sorry, you know, I'll come back later. Like, he's, like, being a victim about it, and it's like, dude, you snap said that in reaction to losing a hand of poker to a guy who's, like, just like, uh, yeah. Dude, this is like playing i was playing a solo q valorant like yesterday and uh and this guy might we have there's a there's a girl on the team who's calming and she's like one of the only people on the team is like two people calming it's like me and this girl were calming and this guy on the team he's our jet he's bottom frag and he

types in chat like lmao she won't even play with her own gender and i just say to the guy i'm like who says stuff like that i just that's all i said i said who says stuff like that i just typed it back to him and one whole round goes by and the next round he says someone who's weird and then types another message who's hard stuck in this rank. I was like, that's so weird. Yeah, you're damn right, you little bitch. He spent a round reflecting.

Dude, I don't think he's ever had anyone bark back at him for that. But that's such an easy bark back. It's like, hey, what does that mean, essentially? And I'm the top frag on the team,

so I was like, what do you instant lose off of a response that is just, yeah, what does that mean? Top frag holds so much respect, too. Top Frag, yeah. If you're like mid-pack and you're saying that, be like, don't talk to me.

But it's literally like the way animals treat each other. You're the alpha dog. Yeah. You're the alpha. I just barked louder and he was like, oh, shit. This guy was like being a prick in my uh on twitter to me um and i was just like fighting back with him as you do and then he took a picture of me it was the picture i took uh you know we were in london where i i was like a russian guy

with my little plushie yeah and uh and he drew a swastika on my forehead and like reposted it and i was just like i want i just replied like i want you to look back on this six months later because you're drawing swastika on podcaster right now and posting it online like i want you to just take a moment look at it now six months later i want you to look back and be like you know this you with god looking down on this moment you know, this is you with God looking down on this moment, you know, that whole bit. And I and then the guy just stopped replying. And I'm like, I wonder why I stopped replying there. We were going it was like a fucking it was like a going rounds thread. And he just he's just working on a really big swastika.

Yeah. And it's like, oh, my God, a couple of days to complete it. This is kind of it reminded me of this of one of the videos we put on the tiktok recently and it's an edited down moment of me explaining i love how you're a tiktok fan i don't i never think about it i never watch it yeah but you're like always on the tiktok i check one tiktok and it's our tiktok you don't watch tiktok no that's so i open our tiktok i if i type tiktok into my browser it immediately goes to ours and it's the only tiktok that i have and i have an account to view the comments on our tiktok and

that's it because you have to log into view comments and there's there's a one of the most recent ones is the clip of me being weirded out that i'm getting like stun locked by the girl at the party right that she's like telling me uh that it's like weird that i said i went to dubai uh when after she said her her parents were from dubai and the clip is like condensed it it lacks a lot of the context of the broader story of her being an asshole right and not really but i think like it definitely it opened the door to this comment section that is all like, Dude, women are fucking crazy, bro. Those type of comments.

All agreeing with me, but they're actually just being shitty to women for getting offended about things. You're me when Slime gets mad at you. You're me. You're me. And I'm like, with all my heart heart i'm reading these and i'm like god i'm not with these people like this this video makes me look so bad and these are my this is like my crowd with this video and i fucking hated it so much because i can't there's no way to collectively tell all these accounts to fuck off no you literally can you can be like

you can have rad sets or just post on the Yard account, hey, all you dry dick trench coat wearing motherfuckers you're wrong. Trench coat wearing. This has nothing to do with you. You could have commented and then Radsets can pin your comment and then it's at the top. Don't act like you're helpless, you misogynist.

It's because you like being the incel king. I was going to say, I quietly cheer for the incel that's why they're your army now and they do your bidding now i can get them to do things for me they swipe on tinder for you dude but also in when i was playing poker it was the same like game uh there was this guy he was i think he's a pro player because he was very good and he was explaining he beat me in a hand that i i had him beat in but he got there and then he was explaining that he had equity in the hand based on like other

shit that i had done before and like he showed me like a calculator like it was kind of it was kind of like fucking don't do that like you're needling me but it was cool but it was like it wasn't it wasn't cool i didn't like him. And in addition, he was wearing a Bored Ape hoodie. Classic. And I'm like, this fucking guy's wearing a goddamn fucking Bored Ape hoodie. Fucking show me it has 6% equity on me because he's a fucking preflop because he thinks a goddamn fucking Jack Tenevase King fucking preflop. Call me fucking 4Bet.

Not salty, not salty. That's all right. It's okay. And the whole time, I'm just mad at this guy because I'm like, fuck this goddamn fucking nerd. But we came together because the next morning we're playing at a different table, and he has a table change ready to go to go to another table. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to go over to that table.

He's talking to his friend or something. I'm going to go try to take that guy's money. That guy's fucking rude. And he's like, oh friend or something i'm gonna try to take that guy's money that guy's fucking rude and um he's like oh what what happened over there he's like yeah he called some guy a slur last night and i was like that was me oh that was you and i'm like yeah and i thought he's i thought because i didn't realize he was at the table too i was like you wait so yeah that was me i thought he called somebody else that also he's like no no that was you i remember now that was crazy right and i'm like that was me. I thought he called somebody else that also. He's like, no, no, that was you. I remember now. That was crazy, right?

And I'm like, that was crazy. And we just like came together. He's like, yeah, so I'm going to go play against that guy because he's got a lot of money. I'm going to fucking take his money because he's rude. And I'm like. That's tight as fuck. I was like, you're all right, Bordet guy. That's tight as fuck.

I like picking people out at a poker table to take their money Robin Hood style. Yeah, it was hype. Take it from the rich and give it to crypto bros. You shook hands with the NFT guy in the effort to do something greater. In the hierarchy of who is more annoying and shitty, I was like, racist guy, NFT guy, come here, man. And on the flight home, you made an OpenSeas account.

Yeah, and I was like, I will put my shit up there again. My poop. Did you guys see the NFT that someone made of me? What? Oh, yeah. The cards? Yeah, and I was like, I will put my shit up there again. My poop. Did you see the NFT that someone made of me? What? Oh, yeah. The cards? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit was insane.

We were sky high in the air. Just fucking. I don't know shit about this. You didn't see this? No. So we're flying to London. And while we're flying, I'm going on Twitter because I got the internet. And it's like pretty shitty, the internet on American.

I can basically only load Twitter and and I see slime quote retweet someone with our sees like our trademark it's our trademark that we our physical copy of our trademark mogul moves that we got in the mail yeah which is really funny

because we because we talked with our lawyer but like that it was it was literally the morning of yeah and if you look at the tweet he was quote retweeting it was this guy announcing an NFT project called like Metadex

which is now disbanded we'll get into that but it was supposed to be like 20 streamers with like 5 different levels of rarity

and like an NFT project and I didn't know about this and I was one of them so he's not doing this with you guys or with these streamers no yeah he just ripped it and gripped it yeah okay and so I see it And I didn't know about this. And I was one of them. So he's not doing this with you guys or with these streamers? No, yeah.

He just ripped it and gripped it. Yeah, okay. And so I see it, and then I check my DMs, and I have a few people being like, you're doing an NFT, bro? And I'm like, that's, you know, because that's death sentence in stream gaming world. You get dragged, sister.

Yeah. People don't like that unless 100T does it, and that one worked out. Did they do that? 100 Thieves did a free NFT for a commemorative thing. It was free. It was free, yeah. That's fine.

Also, and then Nadeshot probably wearing a hat that only covered his hair only was like, hey, we did great, guys. Are you saying he's... I'm saying that video... Are you saying he's bald? The video he uploaded when he cut those two guys from 100 Thieves, he's wearing a hat that's just covering only his hair. What else does a hat cover? No, it's like literally just a butt.

Oh, it's floating? It's weird. But it's not like either way. Fix your fucking hat, Nadeshot. Yeah, hold on. Just fix your fucking hat, Nadeshot. I think that's sincerely the yard from all of us. Yeah.

Also, if you want to come on the show, actually, that might be pretty cool. It is so funny. Yeah. Cut out the whole Nadeshot. you want to come on the show actually that might be pretty cool it's so funny yeah yeah cut cut out the whole other stuff you want to come on the show and bring your stupid hat bring and bring your dumb fucking hat uh so yeah they made nfts and i looked into it right i looked into this and the floor was 0.08 eth which at the time was like 230 bucks uh with you know i think a planned 2 000 total cards this is like it was like about a like a you know four hundred thousand dollar cash play okay and i was like that's crazy yeah because i didn't sign up for this and i'm positive none of these other people did it's pokey x asman and uh imagine they're all like bro you didn't reply to the yeah we're all in yeah you're the one missing out dude you should reply we're gonna make a lot of, bro, you didn't reply. Yeah, we're all in. Yeah. You're the one missing out.

Dude, you should reply. We're gonna make a lot of money. And I didn't do anything about it. But then after slime posted that little quote retweet, he made a video, the guy. And it was like, it was just him like talking openly. He was like, yeah, you know, I try to get permission. Like, I just want to do this. I'm an artist.

But he didn't stop the project. It was basically like, yeah, I wanted to get permission. I thought it'd be something. Dude, you're right. I'm being crazy. I tried to reach out. It was basically like, yeah, I wanted to get permission. I thought it'd be something cool. Dude, you're right. I'm being crazy. I tried reaching out. It was kind of like that.

Fuck. Yeah, I should stop. I should stop. I should stop, dude. I should not. I should stop. But he didn't stop. But I'm going to keep going though. Dude,

dead ass it was like that. Back in Vine. Back in Vine days, you guys remember that one where it's that guy who's like, yo, fuck school! He's like, I'm still going. I'm still going.

That's this guy. Dude, one more, one of my favorite Vines ever. If anyone can find it, because you guys are really good at just unearthing shit, but it's like, it's this guy and he's pretending that he's Scooby and he's like, oh, can I get a Scooby snack too, Fred? And then he's like, he's a black guy.

He's like, neighbor, that's a dog. The fuck's wrong with you? Dude, it's so funny. Anyway. We'll have to see that one. Yeah. Oh, my God. So after he posts that video, you're laughing at the bottom.

We're laughing at a description of a fight. It's so funny, dude. Where is that guy now? I hope he's fucking, I hope he's made it. I hope he's rich. Go on, go on. After he posted that and he kept it going and I looked into it more, it was also like both the creators' Twitters were created that month.

So I'm like, this feels weird. This feels terrible. I wrote like, I spent 30 minutes probably writing like a. A manifesto. 500 character manifesto. Yeah. Of like, like like fuck this basically uh but pretty i think well written i think it was to his credit yeah it was also very like

out of character for you yeah i only did it because i had enough people express like concern that i was making an nfp that you were actually gonna do it yeah that makes sense because i was like why is he doing that i was like oh yeah just That you were actually going to do it. Yeah. That makes sense. Cause I was like, why is he doing that? I was like, Oh yeah, just let this guy be stupid. Who fucking cares? But I get it now.

Yeah. And so I, I dropped that just little reply and, and I regret this part in the message of it. Cause it was a screenshot of a notes app. I put like, I'm not making a fucking NFT. Um,

and then I wrote, because we are welcome to the yard. I wrote, I'll let the lawyers take it from here, which I regret writing that because it always sounds douchey. It's a little Karen-y. It always sounds douchey and Karen-y, but it was literally true. It's true. Because I wanted them to take it down. And after that, he like totally canceled the project. He was like, it's only an art project now. It's only an art project. I've put i put he still did it no thousands of hours into it it's too bad it's too bad to put too much time

into it then he did fucking he went on a little bit of a like a like a guilt run but i get it he's like i get it all right all right i'm not doing it anymore but i did send you the email here's the screenshot and it's from like 15 hours before he launched he messaged me permission 24 hours before after having already made the nft he was on some like uh like he's on ludwig says what he's yeah he's on that like mom says you can't go to the fair so you ask dad it's like dad can i go to the fair and dad's like sure i don't care he's like ask mom you ask mom and you're like i did ask her yeah she responded it was it was quite a saga because it all happened in the air and we're in the sky it started and ended and nft was birthed and then destroyed in the time it took to get to london that's so tight that's crazy uh and then i looked it was it was also top of lsf just my

reply dude yeah for no. You were getting like praised and I was like, this is funny. You guys just love bloodshed. I'm only on there for my Twitter now. That's hype. I'll help draft your tweets. I'll make you a star. It's not. It's not even worthwhile. I'll make you a star, Ludwig. It's not even worthwhile. You don't even get anything from it. I bet it

smelled crazy. Speaking of weird fucking guys, I was hanging out with Ted yesterday. Yeah, it was funny. Anyway, what else you guys got nick was telling me the car nick was telling me the car he's like his him and ted to start talking they were talking about like podcast stuff just like mechanics and ins and outs and then me and nick start talking about like i felt like we were two like top 50 melee players like on the like just like theory crafting and trying to get there and at the top of it is just like nick mullen who's mango and we're just like

like how does he do it you know like trying to crack the whole shit uh it's so funny so me so i'm at ted's house and i'm like uh you want to get food he's like yeah and he tries to order pizza from this place but they like cancel on him and all this shit's going he's like hey do you want to just pick pizza up from somewhere like yeah sure he's like oh and he tries to order pizza from this place but they like cancel on him and all this shit's going he's like hey do you want to just pick pizza up from somewhere like yeah sure he's like oh i know this spot that's like i haven't been there yet but i've heard it's really good i'm like yeah yeah that sounds awesome i'm down so we drive all the way to this spot and it's fucking la so it's just like the worst drive ever and it's like you know like how the right lane in la is just not a real lane because people like parked in it yeah i'm like why does it's a

lane why can you why can you just park it anyway so i'm like trying to navigate around people like swerving and honking at me i'm like god i feel like i'm gonna fucking like i'm in a high school locker room right now in my car and it was the worst drive ever it takes us forever to get there finally get there and there's a line out of the pizza restaurant around the building and i'm like i look at i'll go ted i'm like bro fucking like it's late i'm like i want to eat it's late ted i'm hungry but he kind of looks at me and he's like i mean it's gotta be good right like and i'm like yeah i mean it's gotta be good i guess i'm like let's get in the line i guess so we go we get in line we wait in line for like fucking like 45 minutes i think we wait in line

and then we get to the front, and it says cash only. Fuck. So I run to the gas station right next to us. I pull $40. Ted has $20 in cash on him. I pull out $40 in cash. We don't have enough for the pizza. Broke shit.

This place is like... And I've always said that he's broke shit. The pizza was like $64, and we had $60 between us. And I look at the guy, and he's like, how much you got? And he's like, 60. And he's like, that's not enough for me to just kind of homie you. Dumbass little broke ass.

So I'm like, I'll just go back to the ATM. I go over. ATM's down now. ATM has gone completely down. Cash back at the restaurant? I come back and I'm like, let's just get a smaller pizza. So we just order less food. And we get there.

And then he's like, all right, that'll be one hour. i'm like for the pizza he's like yep i'm like oh yep kill yourself so we go so we go outside and uh we're just kind of sitting there i'm like all right i got an hour we look over and there's an there's a a land center in the the parking lot with the pizza restaurant i'm like damn a land center that's pretty tight you wanna go check it out he's like sure we walk over and it's like one of those places it's like it's like one of those places it's like very modern it's like it's like the type of places that are like in malls now you've seen like those esports centers that are like in malls yeah it's like kind of one of those looks a little more legit but it's like you know fucking it looks like a dave and buster's kind of and uh we're just kind of looking from the outside we're

like talking about it you know like those scenes in movies where like you and a character are talking and then like across the room you hear like western music and a guy goes like yeah i've lived here my whole life and then it pans over and you see him he tilts his head up that guy one of those guys is just standing outside of the esports center while we're talking about it and he goes shit you guys play valorant and i'm like and i was like what i look over i'm like yeah did you know where 7-eleven is i'm like i'm like just swallowed the roach motherfucker i'm like yeah i i play valorant yeah and he goes i'm the best fucking valorant player in the world and i'm like and let me just describe this guy really quick. And it's fucking 10. So he's got a mustache.

He's got a Sentinels jersey. You know how when you're in LA, you'll just walk by someone who's just yelling at you? Yeah. Imagine what that guy looks like. This guy looks like that. So this guy, he's got a walking stick, but he walks fine. Like, he has no limp or anything. Is he young?

He's got, he's like, yeah, he's young. He's probably like 29. Is he like incredibly sun-kissed? Maybe like 34. Yeah, is he like leathery skin? Yeah, he looks like a guy in pictures. No, no, he looks young. But he just is like all super baggy clothes.

He's got his backpack, his things are everywhere. And he's like in the corner of like an LA street. And it's like right outside the center. And he's like, I'm the best Valorant player in the world. I was just talking

about Valorant. And I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, who do you main? And he's like, who do you main? And I'm like,

oh, I play Raze. He goes, I'm the best Raze in the world. No way. And I'm like, all right, I don't think this guy fucking plays Valorant. So I'm best raise in the world no and i'm like i'm like all right i

don't think this guy fucking plays valerie so i'm like what rank are you i'm like i'm like kind of poking him back i'm like what rank are you and he's like i don't have a rank i'm the number i'm number one and i'm like yeah i'm like all right fair enough i'm like not how that works but there is a rank though yeah he shouldn't have said that yeah yeah he should have said like you know the top you guys don't get it when you reach the top it doesn't he like you don't think that way he like takes off his mask it's fucking tarik i just played with your roommate last week and so it kills nick so i'm just like day i don't know how to respond to like anything you're saying because none of it's making complete sense but but he has this like great knowledge of games so there's like a reason he's outside of the center like he goes here because he like he understand he like he knew about rays

but because he started saying things like you think i'm not bouncing around throwing an age like you know how to satchel jump and i'm like oh he plays valerian okay but this guy plays the video game i was talking about uh but he does not look the part like he does not look like he was yeah i'm playing games yeah i'm gross he's a 28 year old like auditioning for a high schooler's part yeah he's yeah he's like acting he's like coming here to like practice for a role or yeah i got a dirty butt so so so so ted ted i look over at ted you like that one aiden aiden really liked that one dirty but i was getting some yeah yeah yeah Aiden will throw up like a cat once. So this guy is bouncing back and forth between talking to us and talking to himself.

So he'll talk to us. He'll be like, I'll be like, oh, they play Counter-Strike here. He's like, oh, they play Counter-Strike here. And he'll be like, Counter-Strike, man, I'm fucking playing Counter-Strike. Going, that guy, that guy, that guy. And he's like looking around and he'll be like, Counter-Strike, man, I fucking played Counter-Strike. That guy. And he's looking around and he's shooting invisible people and he's like, but then he'll turn away from us and he's not facing

anymore, he's still talking. I hate this. I hate when they do that. And he's going, yeah, fucking good in there. And I look over at Ted and I'm like, fuck us. And Ted looks kind of scared. Ted'm like, and it had just like, Ted looks like kind of scared.

That's like, and so the guy just kind of turns back around and he goes, you know, kind of jacket I'm wearing. And he's just wearing this big yellow vest. And I'm like, no. And he's like,

this is port authority. I'm the authority at the ports. And I'm like bars. I learned that. And he's like, he's like, oh shit, I'm about to start selling you stuff. And I's like, he's like, oh shit, I'm about to start selling you stuff.

And I'm like, what, what? And so he goes into his backpack and he pulls out, he's like, check this out. He pulls out an Xbox 360 controller.

It has the keyboard attachment on it. Oh shit. It's a Halo 4 Xbox 360 controller. He turns it around and he goes, with the rechargeable battery pack. He doesn't say Xbox 360 controller. He just pulls around and he goes, with the rechargeable battery pack.

He doesn't say Xbox 360 controller. He just pulls it out and goes, with the rechargeable battery pack. Let's go. Puts it back and hands it to me. And I'm a connoisseur. I've played a bit of Xbox 360 in my day. And I see it has the Chrome D-pad. And I'm like, oh, it's one of those.

And I twist it. It was once you can twist them. And they twist in a circle. And he's like, I didn't even know it did that and he's mind blown by this he like runs down the street he like runs away and i'm like i'm like i'm like am i controlling him he like runs down the street and then he runs back he's like you hit you hit the fucking 360 on me and i'm like are you trying to sell me this he goes hold on he lets me hold it still and he pulls out a keyboard and he's got a wireless keyboard

and he goes you know what this is i'm like that's a keyboard he's like he's like nah this is a computer for the deaf and blind and i'm like no that's a keyboard and he starts putting the keyboard on his lap and then he pulls out a notebook and he props the notebook up on the windowsill and he's typing on the keyboard and talking to himself and i'm like does he think it's a computer i'm like what the fuck and so then he turns to us and he goes he says something crazy. I'm kind of indulging him at this point. Is this something crazy? Yeah.

I know everything he said by now is pretty normal, but he starts to get crazy. You're worried about the wrong color. Yeah, I dug for that. And I go, so you guys ever do Smash tournaments here? And he goes, you want Smash here? You got to talk to the Koreans. And I'm like, I go, who are the Koreans? And he's like, it's them in there and he points to the at

the gaming center i'm like you probably shouldn't you probably shouldn't say it about the people they're like right there there's an asian man in there and i'm like you probably shouldn't just point at them and say the koreans yeah and he goes no don't worry i own this place and i'm like oh you you're the owner of the place he goes yeah i just i own this whole. And I'm like, oh, you're the owner of the place? He goes, yeah. I own this whole place. And I'm like, damn, that's crazy. And then I say, like, five minutes later, I say something like, do they ever host tournaments here?

And he's like, no, we don't host tournaments here. He corrects me. Like, this is my place. Yeah. And you're not saying it's my place. You don't believe me. Yeah. But he's not saying that.

And he's just correcting me whenever I say that. He's just saying it's my place. Then, there's more. I'm sorry. There's more. He says, you hear about the 15 year old Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. And I'm like,

like one that happened 15 years ago. He goes, no, no, no. One that's been going for 15 years. I'm like, I'm like,

there's a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament that's been going for 15 years. He goes, he goes, it just ended. And I go, who won? He goes, me goes me i'm like right all right all right come on i'm like i'm like and then well maybe well maybe kind of believe him as he goes well my team won i didn't my team won and i was like it's a weird detail to add yeah he gave something up yeah first time yeah it's a weird detail he gave you some some slack and i was. Yeah. For the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a weird detail. He gave you some slack. And I was like, and then he starts, he goes, oh, you want to talk cards?

And I'm like, I don't want to talk cards. You brought up the 15-year-old tournament. But if you want to talk about, I don't play card games. He got a few, he got a few side dragons. He starts taking out, his backpack has endless things in it. He starts taking out card sleeves. He has like thousands of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He starts pulling out like book he has like thousands of yugioh cards he starts pulling out like book after book after book of he's fucking train wrecks he's booking

them he's got so many yugioh cards and he just pulls them all he starts sprawling them all over so we are in the we are just still waiting for our pizza he's not fucking done yet still and he has a keyboard a bunch of yugioOh card books, an Xbox 360 controller, a walking stick, a backpack, and he's just... Is he... Okay, look. Is he, like, is he a stinky guy? No. Okay. He was... He was actually very coherent. Like, everything I said to him, he replied fully. Right. He might just be the best salesman. And I was, like, what's your name? And he's, like, I'm Brian. And I was, like, what's up? I'm Nick. Nice to meet you. He's, like, nice to meet you. Like, he was totally was like, what's your name? And he's like, I'm Brian. And I was like, what's up? I'm Nick. Nice to meet you. He's like, nice to meet you. Like he was totally like coherent, but he would also like talk full sentences to himself

into like his sleeve and then like walk away from us. He'd randomly walk away and leave us with all the things. Sales tactic. And then he'd come back. Jesus Christ. And at one point I asked him again, like, so you guys don't host any events here. At this point I'm respecting that he owns the place. And he goes, turns to me and he goes, you want to get stabbed in the eye what and i i

look over at ted we've talked to him for so long at this point that i do not believe he is a threat yeah like i'm not threatened i'm like i'm almost like with him now i'm kind of like this guy's the homie yeah i look over at ted i look back i go no i i don't want i don't want that no and he goes that's why we don't host tournaments i'm like i don't know what that means but i'm a little scared now shit goes down yeah he's saying you get stabbed in the fucking eye you compete here yeah i'm like it's a casual land stop do you not get stabbed in the eye if you don't have tournaments he's saying that people get too heated yeah and i'm not gonna let that happen to you my new friend and so he's like he's like he again brings up how he's gonna start selling me shit i'm like i don't have any money

uh we just spent it all on pizza and the atm machine's down and he goes the atm you want to talk about the atm machine and i'm like i'm like you've got something for that i'm like i'm like what about it he goes i took all the internet down. He's talking about the internet as a collective thing that he has control of now. He's like, I took all the internet down. And then out of his back pocket, he pulls out what looks like an iPad, but it's like a knockoff tablet. Slightly bigger than a cell phone, but it's not a phone.

And Ted goes, that's a phone. And he goes, this's not a phone and i in in taught not taught ted goes uh that's a phone and he goes this is not a phone and then i go i go ted that's not a phone and i mean and i kind of mean it i'm like excuse him i'm like i'm like it's bigger than a phone he's like it's a little bigger than a phone i'm like it's bigger than a phone it's obviously like a tablet is ted's girlfriend there too no she's at home the whole time you guys the whole time she's just like where are like she's she's just playing fucking the game she's still playing and whole time you guys the whole time she's just like where are they like she's she's just playing fucking the game she's still playing and we're trying to we're trying to bring her food and so uh you come home this is brian so he pulls out the ipad he starts claiming you know about the 15 year old yeah he won where the fuck have you guys been? Everybody knows.

So he pulls out the iPad, and he starts claiming that he has EMP'd all the internet. And he's like, don't worry. I'll get that back up for you right now. And then he starts typing on the iPad. And he starts talking to himself. And he's like, fuck, internet stuff. Get the internet back up. Get the iPad out.

Get the internet back up. And I'm like, I look over at Ted, and I'm like, I got all I came for. You want to go check if our pizza's ready? And he's i look back at the guy i'm like hey man it was super nice to me and he was like likewise likewise and then we go we go back over to the pizza restaurant i i am not exaggerating we walk over we me and ted exchange words for five seconds we turn back all of the stuff is gone and so is he. He has laid out, he laid out all the shit I talked about

was all on the floor. All of it is gone and so is he. He just packed up. And I look back at him. It was, I'm not joking when I say it was five seconds.

We walked back, said, hey, turned and he was gone. And the pizza restaurant, it's like from here to Zipper's office. Like close. And I look at Ted and I go,

was, did, was he real? Did you see the guy? He's like, no, that all happened for sure. I'm like, okay, okay. I just want to make. And then to this day, I want to know so badly if he's. We should go back. If he's the owner.

I would love to. Camp it out. Yeah, I would love to camp it out and find out and be like, hey, man, like you leave a little dog food out there for us he's the spirit of the lance yeah that's the thing about brian you're not supposed to chase him he finds you yeah and then we we have a topic channel zipper zipper store opens he's like what's up we have a topic channel where every week we like post topics and i was telling ted like oh because he talked about taco sandwich how they kind of have one too and i was like yeah for ours we always leave the mom in this so that no one knows what the story is but we can remind ourselves i was like what should i what should i write in there that they don't know that like i met a crazy guy but and he was like

he thought for a moment he starts tapping into his youtuber brain he goes the 15 year yugioh tournament i was like hell yeah that's what i wrote they all have they all have brains for it you know we asked ludwig like what to title the episode every time? Yeah. And sometimes he'll be like, I don't know. Sometimes I know I just instantly snap and I get it. And when I have trouble, I'm like, Ludwig. Ludwig, what do I title it?

You know what's funny is you messaged me last time, what do I title it? Because you asked me in the pub, and I had a good idea in the pub. And then you asked me again. You're like, what did you say in the pub about the title for A.A.C.L.? And I forgot. You're like, how dare you ask me a question twice. So I was like, I was like, I replied to it and I was like, I don't know, untitle it like this.

We asked this actor like the hardest question. And then as a joke I put, and then just put like, I don't know, like do you have foreskin or not in the thumbnail? And then I looked when the video came out and that's what he used. And I was like. Kind of. Yeah, it should probably work. Yeah.

You're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't be so literal. Hey, to a 10 upload. There we go. There we went. Nothing wrong with the horse skin. That's clickbait. He can't beat mushrooms, though. What?

Ace of butters. Oh, yeah. Ace of butters could dock you. Yeah, so could you. Yeah. Don't try to pawn this off on him. All right? You're docking me.

It could be you guys. One of you guys docking, all right? Can we just cut the bullshit? Any dockers? Can we just dock on this? Any dockers? I feel like I had another topic. Jason R.?

I don't know how to follow that. Yeah, I didn't tell anyone this. I saved this purely for today because I just met the most interesting man of all time. How much time do we have left? We got a little bit to go hey We should probably feel 5-10 time keeper guy we should we should go 5-10 because there was like there was some stuff What to cut yeah, let's talk about you guys Jason are all gonna say that amaranth new product. Oh, dude. What is it her butt stinker?

She's selling her farts and her bath water. I heard about this from my mods doing a modcast. I don't know why I'm walking down. Ludwig, they're selling the stink. Why is it stinky? Why don't you do that? Why don't you sell the stink? I have some from when you were here.

Let me see the article, Zip. I want to read this. Her website. She's selling her goddamn and her motherfucker. And on the website, it says like, what does it say? It says like sourced in the US. Sourced ethically. Yeah, ethically sourced in the USA.

That's funny. Dude, she is a fucking genius. That's funny. It's called Cutie Patootie. Oh, that's great. Wait, what is it? How did she spell? Oh, it's scents.

Have you ever wondered what your favorite streamer smells like? And she don't mean... Now is you chance to find out. They got to fix that copy. This copy's just bad right now. Now is you chance to find... Oh, wow. Archie, blur that for YouTube.

Do you think they ship to Turkey? Wait, why? Because that's like a large part of her audience because Turkey outlaws porn so they oftentimes go get there so she has a bunch of sfw wow how it's made dude she is a fucking genius this is crazy this is just this is just belle delphine new game plus right yeah pretty much belle delphine expansion pack. Yeah, this is the DLC. Belle Delphine did not have

this lovely website. I don't know what she did. I couldn't tell you. It was probably lovely. Made in the USA. She's holding it to her ass. Imagine the photo shoot. It's like, okay,

can you a little lower like under your ass. Imagine if it's not ethical though and she's like fucking pride in a contraption and she's like fucking pride in a contraption there's like a farm they're feeding her beans she's got like child labor i was thinking of like what if it just said like made in vietnam it's like some sort of factory and there's just like there's like 80 year old guys just like

getting farts squeezed out of them they send they send one fart and then they get the flavor of it and they make a like a you know like the second they step on it like crack on the street i love the idea of like some like big big intermediary businessman coming to her it's like i love i love what you got going i love your operation but what if we took this overseas i have ways to slash your costs i wish shark tank we could could go huge with this. You know how the moment we make merch, there's like an Alibaba website that pops up and it's just a copy of our merch?

Yeah. It happens in like minutes almost. Yeah, it's crazy. Someone's job somewhere is going to be to like Bath and Body Works replicate that smell and start selling the knockoff.

Yeah. It's like hammer and canned scents. Wish.com hammer and shit. Yeah. Sky mall. forget the fart go for the real thing you buy shit can you imagine like looking through one of those like catalogs on like british airways and you're like looking at watches and then all

of a sudden you like turn the page and it's like oh streamer farts yeah yeah and some fucking boomers like oh check that out honey dude I'm thinking about Shark Tank, too. It's like Kevin O'Leary. Sharks. Can I smell it? I actually brought you guys all samples. Yeah, and they're all like, oh. Mark Cuban.

Look, I get it. I know about Twitch. I know about eSports. But I just don't know if this is the company for me. I'm tapped into the fart meta, I know, but I think it's a fleeting market, and for that reason, I'm out. Kevin, you got a boner!

There's a Canadian version of that show called Dragon's Den, and it's just four Canadian businessmen instead. Are they just really nice? Oh, it's a lovely business. How much do you need? Oh, we'll give you a bunch. Two percent.

That's all we want. Just some free and loaded supplies good for us. Let's go get some Timmy's, huh? Oh, we can go talk about it over a fucking box of Timbits. Dude, I was playing poker and one of the guys on my table

was Canadian. He was extremely friendly. I messaged this in the group chat. Fuck yeah, he was. He was like a really... He was like... He was like Eamon as a 65-year-old man. He got too hype.

He kind of looked like him. He was really, really... He was like really tall. He was really nice. And he was talking about hockey with this other guy. It was super fucking annoying. And... Was the other guy Canadian?

No, the other guy was like... He was just a guy. American hockey fan. He was like talking about the Bruins. You're either Canadian or just a guy. Yeah. Two times people. Real shit. And guy was like, he was just a guy. American hockey fan. He was like talking about the Bruins. You're either Canadian or just a guy. Yeah. Two times people. Real shit.

And he was like, and the whole time he's just really, really nice. And we're all kind of talking. I was like, hey, tell me about Timmy Hortons. Is it really all the rage? And he instantly, he sits up straight and gets real serious. He's like, I don't understand. Timmy Hortons, they just lie around the fucking corner for it. I don't get it.

And he's like freaking, he's like, McDonald's coffee tastes better. No, that's the dark truth. I told you about that. Okay, see? The dark truth. See what happens? The dark Canadian truth. Okay, I found this out.

I found this out. Somewhere in Nardwar is fucking loading a gun to come fucking kill you. The coffee, Tim Hortons, the coffee supplier for tim hortons they switched they switched a few years ago and mcdonald's in canada switched to the old tim horton supplier genius and you can get the old tim hortons coffee which is better from mcdonald's in canada now so timmy's is falling off yeah but this i so i brought that up because you've told me that before and i I loosely was like, but didn't they like switch it or something? He was like, no, it was all bad.

It was all bad. He was like, it was the most, I saw this guy lose like a couple hundred in a hand. Like he should have been a little upset, but this is what got him fucking out of bed. Yeah. It was crazy. I think Timmy Horns is probably just like, it's just national pride more than anything. Yeah. It's like Dunkin' Donuts.

Yeah. Dunkin's trash like Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin's trash. Dunkin's not good, but if you're from New England, you got to run on it. I love, there's like a couple Tim Hortons in the US, and every time I see them, I instantly go, because I'm like, I got to support the brand. I used to be like that with Dunkin'. You guys remember when we'd hang out, and I'd be like, let's go to Dunkin's, boys. And it's like, oh, okay, you want to drink sewer time now. Before the road trip.

I will say, their big cups of coffee, they're better than Starbucks. We are kind of icing ourselves out of this one. I didn't think about that. We're going to start doing ad deals soon, guys, and if Dunkin's comes through, everyone has to be cool. Well, that's different. If they're giving me money, I'm going to love their coffee. Also, they got great donuts.

Oh. Oh, wait, no, we can't go too far. We can't overcorrect. I like the breakfast sandwiches. I like the breakfast sandwiches. We can't overcorrect. I like the breakfast sandwiches. I like the breakfast sandwiches. We can't overcorrect. Stop overcorrecting. Fuck Dunkin'.

Dunkin' Donuts. Everyone that works there is a racist. Come get yours now. Amen. Amen. All right, fellas. Well, Zip just gave us the hand signal. We're there, baby.

Which is problematic. We're at the 90. Problematic. And you guys can see the, okay. You guys can see. No, no, no. Hey, stop. Wait. You're rushing it. You're rushing. Rushing. Eamon and I dock. Dra okay. You guys can see. No, no, no. Hey, stop. Wait.

You're rushing it. You're rushing. Amon and I dock. You're dragging now. Amon and I will dock. Listen, you're rushing. How is it bad? Let's wrap up the episode emotionally.

Okay. Okay? I have a nice sentiment to go out on. That's what I'm talking about. You almost fucking kicked him out the door. Yeah, that's lame as fuck, man. Do your thing. Oh, fuck.

Dude, we were supposed to call the action. Maybe we put it at the beginning. Our sub count is fucking cringe, guys. Just subscribe. Hit the bell. What do we do?

Sub counts are fake. Sub counts are fake. But we need more. Sub counts are fake. No, there's not. It's only for your ego. It's only for your ego. Well, are we not

ego-driven individuals with a fucking podcast, Ludwig. No. Subcouts are like followers on Twitch. They mean nothing. That's not true. You're a stupid fuck. Fuck you.

That's how it works. If you had 100,000 subs, you would not be getting the views you get, bitch. Dumbass, motherfucking bitch. They don't matter is what I'm saying. Stupid ass bitch. Yeah, they do. They're follower numbers. Dude. They're just follower numbers.

You're a stupid ass. There are people who get 20x their sub count on average for their videos. Really? Yeah. People don't check their sub box that much anymore. Yeah, but we have to remind them to smash the bell. The algorithm controls all, so as long as they keep coming to watch these videos. If you're not already subscribed.

I got this. If you're not already subscribed, leave a comment on when you, if you subscribe now, leave a comment about what you liked and then leave a like and the cut and you win a prize for the content and if you you enter to win one special edition coupon that we will reveal in the patreon episode which is coming up right after this when you when follow on Spotify. Like, comment, subscribe. Follow all of us on Twitter. Subscribe to the Patreon at the highest year possible. Also, make sure to liquidate all your assets

and donate it directly to me. Blood, blood. Your bones are money and your blood is... Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. See you on the bonus. See you on the bonus episode of the Patreon.