The Yard - Ep. 41 - We Met the Baldest Man in California
Episode Date: April 20, 2022Hey there y'all! This week, the boys return from home from Genesis, Ludwig talks about his first tournament as a famous guy, and Slime recounts being stuck at home all weekend like a poisoned bug....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
do i sound as bad as i feel yeah you're like you're jutting out your stomach you're eating
pizza you said that with pizza in your mouth this is a cinnamon stick
that's crazy that's when's the last time you had one of those look like that uh it looks like jim
carrey and dumb and dumber right now with his hair so you i'm coming for you don't don't you
start barking up you look like wayne rooney right now you do look like way Rooney. Look it up later, bro. Who's that? Yeah. Yeah, we lost the UK.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I look like a footie hooligan.
This is a look.
This is a shirt Miles gave me.
I'm with it.
I look like I just came out of the pub
or I'm going into the pub.
I don't got stains on my shirt.
You're going to the pub.
I'm playing pubs.
You came out of civil court divorce.
What?
I'm not sure.
They don't have that in the UK. The idea is I'm a UK guy. They don't have that in uk the idea is they don't have
divorce in the uk because the king banned it the king banned it and also you're not allowed when
when you marry the woman she is your property now they don't they don't have divorce in the uk
because every king has his queen that's what they say there yeah no it's not every queen has her
corgi it's not just the man's vote it's the household's vote right yeah and i've i've explained that to so many
people and they just don't feel like they don't get it it's annoying when they're like oh what
you know are you seeing the tiktok trend where they just make fun of british people by like
by like bringing up like a like a hypothetical and it's like um you know in america we have
security scanners to stop guns and then it's a picture of a Dark Souls enemy and it's like well yeah
in the UK
the grossest accents
ever
yeah that would I mean that is pretty much
Dark Souls no one speaks with an English
accent or like an American accent in that game
they're all British
actually Elden Ring is
the greatest Ireland representation in the game
ugh now I don't want to play it anymore Irish didn't do anything wrong you know And they did say, actually, Elden Ring is the greatest Ireland representation in the game. Ugh.
Now I don't want to play it anymore.
Okay.
Well, hurtful.
Irish didn't do anything wrong, you know?
I'm some Irish.
I can say all this.
Doing the prostate monster bit does not make you an Irish person.
No, it does.
But I'm also real Irish.
Oh, really?
I got like a hot 20% in me.
Isn't that crazy?
And then because he's run the bit so many times, it ups it to like 30.
Yeah.
He's more Irish than I am.
I'm 115% of a person.
You are the Irish representation of the show.
Yeah.
I just learned that.
Plus, I'm wearing green.
And my prostate's the size of an orange.
Oh, Aiden, come over here.
I'm going to explore you.
Get over here and let me suck on your prostate like a walnut.
Come on, I'm going to explore your charm, Aiden.
Why does him talking about his prostate trigger you to start harassing aiden well this morning we were driving
home from the airport and uh i couldn't let it go i just kept giving it to him yeah i just kept i
said i was after his charm yeah yeah well yeah which is his sweet sweet inner g spot for a man
speaking speaking of british people me me and yingling were sitting
next to each other on the plane and uh i think we're both in a similar space mentally as far
as amount of sleep had an amount to drink the night prior and i look at the seat in front of
us and i point and it says literature only so i don't know why it says that
and then i just said literature and then we started reading everything listed on the back
of the seat in an english accent and we settled on 737 being the yeah they i'm literally sitting
in front of nick i want to give context to nick back at nick y to Nick back and forth about the numbers
on the seat in front of us.
Okay.
I want to give context
to them just being
just so fucking dumb
for like a day
because their brains
were so broken.
Yeah.
You came ready to podcast
is what you're telling me.
No, I slept.
You were looking at 747
and you're like,
this is it.
It got better
because then
the number was like 800.
I'm different now. 800 was also pretty funny. You're different now? I, this is it. It got better because then the number was like 800. I'm different now.
800 was also pretty funny.
You're different now?
I didn't do it.
Yeah, do it if it's so funny.
I-hundred.
Seven, four, eight, seven.
You do a British accent like you're a little schoolboy.
Yeah, I think it's funnier that way.
I-hundred.
Can you ask me for some pussy?
Please, sir.
Please, sir.
Just a bit of just a bit of minge.
Just a bit of pussy, sir.
You're like a Charles Dickens character.
Oliver Gash.
By the way, welcome back to the Yard podcast.
Welcome back to the Yard. The energy is palpable.
Two of us are
baby sleep bears.
One hungover. One just sucked down a whole pizza by bears. One hung over.
One just sucked down a whole pizza by himself.
One's doing great.
I'm doing great. I feel great.
You don't look great.
That's hurtful.
Well, you said it, didn't you?
Nick's doing sexy voice.
He is doing sexy.
Yeah.
I just woke up.
He has to.
I all-nightered last night.
Wait, are we doing the yard right now?
Oh, fuck.
Welcome back to the weather the fuck this year, bro.
Starring me and the boys behind me.
Wait, we hit 20,000 patrons? That's so sexy. Oh And the boys Behind me Wait we hit 20,000 patrons
That's so sexy
Oh we did
Yeah we hit 20,000
Isn't that crazy
You're gonna be a fresh
Little otter
New bottle creature
I am going to be
Such a smooth little man
I'm gonna paint you
Like yourself
With the same skin tones
I
That's what it's gonna look like
Is that I have painted body
Yeah
Cause the hair will be gone
And you can eat it
If you want
I want to rip
I want to do one rip
We all should get one
Everyone gets a good one.
It's our like,
you know,
you can buy like a yard
in Ireland.
Now you're a Lord or whatever.
I want my strip
or it's like buying
like a star in the sky.
Yeah.
I have slimes
like left.
I think you guys should draw
for the gooch.
Oh,
wow.
Yeah,
I think I get punishment
or I was going to say I'll give it to one i thought it'd
be a reward i was gonna say i was gonna say i kind of want to do that yeah well there you go so
you and me we've negotiated i'll just do it hell yeah i love that no drawing for straws that's like
a that's an unbreakable bond look before i will have his dreams before we get too far away from
it because we were just talking about the plane, I just want to get this out now.
I saw the shiniest head I've ever seen on the plane.
I took a photo of it.
I was so mesmerized.
I look over at Aiden.
I hold up my iPhone with a message on it
because I don't want to say it out loud.
And I say, I am mesmerized by this guy.
And Aiden looks at the guy in front of us.
Ah!
You took a picture!
That is insanely shiny.
Yeah, so I look at it
and Aiden replies
and says,
what did you say?
It looks like
the Zamboni just hit it.
Yeah, yeah.
It looks like the Zamboni
when it hits the ice.
Yeah.
You guys are just lighting up
a bald dude in front of you?
Not any bald dude.
I felt like if I rubbed him
I got wishes.
This guy was so shiny.
This is the shiniest head
I've ever seen.
You're saying, no, we didn't light up a bald guy we lit up a really bald guy you don't see the
problem it's so you don't see how this is problematic you don't see how what you're doing
hurts all of us no no i don't see that even with those with with hair no we were just doing on
notes app back and forth and then you know after thinking about it for a while i leaned forward to him and i was like i'm making sure that people like you can't vote i i don't want you representing
this country shiny bald is too far yeah yeah his kid was next to him i was like you better keep
that fucking air hey your dad's got some shit genetics. Wonder what you got now. Yeah.
When's your doomsday clock up, little boy?
Timmy?
Timmy with the fucking bad, dumb head?
Is mine shiny?
You look fine. No, no, no.
I'm not self-conscious because I just took a shower and I had lotion on my head.
And then I was brushing my teeth before this.
And I was like, I look really shiny more than usual.
Yeah, it's a little shiny
on top i can see you reflect in the light i have a matte thing it's like a matte sunscreen that
like makes it not shiny so you can choose your gradient like a gaming monitor yeah you can shine
like it's like it's pimp my ride well yeah it's a jacuzzi on top it's the same thing with us
hair havers like gel goes from matte to shiny that's right
yeah some people have flames painted on the side yeah the guy fieri this guy was candy coated the
monster garage this guy had the ps3 and the xbox in the rear seat oh man god that show is so dude
remember when we sat we i think it was me you and dan we like we had an idea for a content
piece for bts and it was like you know in the beginning of him my ride where exhibit will like
it's like filming down an alley and then he'll like do 40 different walks and then it flashes
and it's like 40 exhibits and then he's like crouching down then he's like pointing and then
he's like doing this uh we we watched there's like a video that does them all like puts it all in one
video yeah dude this is so hype and we were like how do we incorporate this
yeah just like a 10 minute video of this this is what do we go on the way to get another slice of
pizza eating on the way to pet ders dude oh i can watch this all fucking day that's great oh man some of them are there
sometimes it's just him walking around like it like he's lost
he does the waves yeah yeah like who the fuck is he waving to that's me after getting 129 that genesis
hey come on hey good job not bad yeah that's actually pretty good one two nine i think that's
what i got we both got one we both got one really yeah that's hype that's why i was like let's go
we actually both did pretty well there you go that's great did you beat who'd you beat uh i
beat didn't lose the napkins didn't lose syn'd you beat? I beat, didn't lose to Napkins.
Didn't lose to Napkins.
Yeah, I beat Napkins.
More importantly, didn't lose to Napkins.
Very nice.
I beat, I don't remember, someone named 52%. Yeah, I saw that.
I didn't know who that was.
The person I lost to in Winners got 33rd, and the person I lost to in Losers got 65th.
I guess the grind didn't pay off.
Ammon?
I beat Traplord, but he was playing Falcon.
He just switched to Falcon a month ago.
His Falcon was still...
Traplord from NorCal?
Yeah.
He just switched.
Last time I interacted with that person, he was such a dick.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
He was nice in real life.
Nice in real life.
We were berating him behind it in set.
He was a great sport.
Wow.
Yeah.
So I have good things to say.
Which is crazy.
I didn't hear so much of it, which I think is good because that pulls me out of it.
Yeah, Aiden would hit him with any move.
And I was yelling, uh-oh.
It's Aiden time.
And then I beat PhD's nuts in the run back.
Very nice.
Because he beat me at Vertigo a while ago verdugo every time you
say vertigo I'm gonna break that fake
window
and now we're one one that's what Michael
Jackson had it's not you can't just say
that no it's like
it's like the U2 album
it's like the thing that dogs get
and then they can't they fall over
dysplasia yeah
no vertigo yeah it's called vertigo
we brought a dog there one i can't remember whose dog it was but one of the evos smash gg
employees went to and one of the employees brought their like old dog who was like almost blind and
had vertigo and every time he tried to walk he would just stumble around. And he shat on the Evo convention center floor like three times.
Because every time he needed to poop, he wanted to go outside.
But he didn't know how to get there.
And if he tried to get up, he would just fall.
That's so sad.
Watching it.
I don't know if you guys have ever seen an animal with four legs trip before.
But it's sad.
My dog died of this yeah of tripping but
no had like the old dog disease that gives them vertigo right and their eyes are like always like
moving side to side you can see it and they like can't move they eventually stop like being able
to like walk around and then like yeah they just have to sit all day that's so sad super sad yeah
at least they get to eat yummy food because they're dogs true and that's how you that's how
you let them go out.
That would be the only brightness in your day.
That's how Ludwig is going to go out.
He's going to get
glue poisoning and then he'll be
immobile and then I'll just feed him and feed
him and feed him until he's dead.
Poggy food today, slime.
Yeah.
I met Polish at Genesis.
We teamed together. Polish is delightful. Yeah? Polish is a good person. You teamed, right Genesis We teamed together Yeah Polish is delightful
Yeah
Polish is a good person
You teamed right
We teamed
We got 13th
They said that you had the best
Chemistry ever
First time team chemistry
I have a lot of things
That you guys are going to hate to hear
So first of all
We were warming up
Versus Jmook and Sora
Dude
And at first
Jmook and Sora
Are destroying us It's like not close and i'm me and
polish have just met we have we haven't said any words to each other and i'm like this is bad we
have bad chemistry we're gonna fucking get washed i'm feeling bad because like i'm by far the lower
seat in this team and so i'm like oh man i'm not i'm not gonna make them proud etc for those at
home who might not know polish is debatably the best peach in the world.
Let's even...
We're seeded top eight at the event.
We're seeded top eight for singles.
That makes sense, yeah.
Let's back up even a little further.
It was Genesis 8.
If you don't know shit about dick and balls and butt,
Genesis 8 is a smash tournament.
It's like the Super Bowl of smash tournaments.
Let me bring it back a little further.
So Ken figured out...
Yes! bowl of smash tournaments yeah let me bring it back a little further so ken figured out
yes i wish my foreskin could make a sound
i wanna i wanna elevate this but i literally can't pull it out you're like
that's what i try to do i try to like Pull it out And then blow across it Like a ball
No like a leaf
You're supposed to blow into it
And then it's a balloon
And then you let the air out
And it goes
Your foreskin
Then your penis goes
And that's how we helicopter
Your foreskin is a jug
With three X's on it
Uh huh
You guys are
You guys are pretty funny, huh?
So,
what note do you think
your foreskin would play?
My makes the
corpse husband growl.
Foreskin.
I did it so good.
I listened to a clip back
when we talked about
brought up corn husband
and I did a really good one.
I can't get there again.
I need Nick early morning aka got
up voice you know most of it right now it's not even that i just got up it's most that i i screamed
so much yeah yeah because because noir our friend oh beat zuppi by the way and be a few other great
players justin aka noir he was the person who sat next to me. Me and him both endured the lecture from the guy from the party, aka Rob slash Active,
who believes that the earth is flat and that so many things.
He was telling us about how Bitcoin was in the Bible.
We sat there for like 45 minutes.
Bitcoin's in the Bible?
Yeah, that's what he was telling me.
Shit, bye now.
I know.
That makes sense.
And it was me and Justin sitting there just being like, yeah, no, totally.
And then I see him fucking beating all these people.
I'm like, let's go.
Yeah, Justin was the best player at my college.
And so I could never achieve number one because he was always better than me.
And I've always been telling people he's a hitter.
I was so excited.
Every Genesis in the past, he's kind of just got nervous and got washed.
And I'm like, one day, Noir's going to go off.
I'm going to be so excited about it.
And this was his tournament.
What did he get?
He got 65th.
He was so close.
But he honestly had really hard matches to make it.
But he got washed by Panda.
And then he played Stiv.
And they had a really close game three.
Stiv Noir was a fucking banger, actually.
Yeah, it was a great set.
Oh, Noir is so sick.
This part is only for
me.
You're talking about
your doubles too?
Yeah and then we
beat Zami Salami
which felt nice.
Oh that's insane.
Because I've lost to
them before.
Oh but we know so
we're warming up for
Jayfook and Sora.
We're doing terrible.
And I was like can I
try to do something
really quick.
And they're like yeah
sure.
I switched to Puff.
We play Puff. And we're doing really good now and and uh we got and then i go back to falco and we're doing better now in tournament no this is on friendly oh okay okay i did end up playing puff
in tournament too um but uh after the setup jaymook wrapping his controller and me and jaymook
haven't spoken to each other yet and jaymook kind of leans in it's like your puff has no reason being that good i started laughing multiple people have told you
that i'm like can you go find aiden i'm like i'm like and he did i'm like can you i'm like can you
go find it he went and got you you just tell him that he comes up to me later that day and this is
also my first time meeting jay mook in person oh tough and you're like jay mook by the way he got
second at the tournament and it was the most insane run possibly of all time i think it's the time meeting jay mook in person oh tough and you're like jay mook by the way he got second
at the tournament and it was the most insane run possibly of all time i think it's the largest
seed discrepancy to performance yeah it's unreal and he beat a bunch of fucking good people and
he's also amon's like amon's like the jay mook fan club like president oh he's wearing oh yeah
what's up baby it's the it's on yeah and to be to oh yes to our credit me and amen like when we would
watch jaymook like a year ago and just like see him in an online brackets we were like dude he's
just so sick like i hate chic and i hate aiden and we would break bread over this man playing
fucking chic and we'd be like that's that's how you know jaymook is cool that's how i explain it
to people it's, think about how much
Anthony hates Sheik.
Anthony thinks this guy is cool.
You lean into me
during your end finals
and he goes,
how many times do you think
Anthony has said
Aiden's never done that today?
You know what?
Not as much as you'd think.
Yeah.
I wasn't thinking about it.
Maybe once or twice.
I was crying.
I was hugging Atriot
at the front of the fucking theater.
They were hugging him
and just jumping in circles.
It was beautiful.
I had my come to god moment
last night because when he when cody uh so cody has to play him right and in my head i'm like
him versus cody is going to be worse than him versus zane like i thought because he got shit
on yeah zane and and you made a little bet and i made a little bet i i ben sw was trying to fucking
farm me which he kind of did and then I got my one piece in at the end.
And I got my $20 bet that Jmook would not get 3-0'd.
And I thought that was a fair bet.
And Jmook ends up 3-0ing IBDW,
which was insane.
And in the middle of the third game,
I said, if this happens,
I will never complain about Fox Chic ever again. And it happened. So I will never complain about Fox Chic ever again
and it happened so I will never
I will never complain about Fox Chic ever again
I'm also announcing my switch to Fox
and I'm going to abuse
only his worst mechanics
and Aiden can't say anything
that's a fun little abuse
Mango said he will train me when he was over here yesterday
to basically
well the rest of the sentence
in my head is to make Aiden sad, but he didn't say that part, but that's what it would train
you.
Yeah.
But then like that's implied that to make the implication.
Yeah.
The result is you will be sad, which makes me happy.
Yeah.
You're, you're, I look, happiness is a finite resource that is passed around it and I need
it from you. In the words of Dr. Noon Slam, melee is a zero sum that is passed around, and I need it from you.
In the words of Dr. Noon Slam, melee is a zero-sum game.
No, it's not.
An emotional zero-sum game.
No, because I get the...
No, yeah, you're right.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
So that's what zero-sum games are.
He gets there.
Let him get there.
I got there.
Yeah, Jmook, I met him too.
You went to Genesis.
Uh-huh, for one day. What? What what i flew in to do my mashing thing i
had a clocked in and my mashing idea where i would try to challenge people in mashing and uh and and
i'll tell you how that went in a second but first i i was at a pizza place and i was watching jmook
versus plup and jmook was beating plup and i have only heard jmook from you guys talking about him
yeah i don't really watch Melee.
But I'm like, oh, J-Mook's supposed to be sick.
Aiden loves him.
I'm talking to Stans.
Because Stans knows even less than I do.
So I'm giving him context.
Then he starts beating Plup's ass.
And I'm like, damn, he's fucking sick.
And the set finishes.
I'm like, wow, Aiden's right.
He's a god.
I walk in the venue.
Bunch of people asking for pictures all weekend.
This guy comes up to me.
And he's like, hey, can I have a pic?
I'm like, yeah.
Takes a pic.
And then he's like, oh, bad angle. Do it again. I'm like, fine. I like that. And then he's like hey can i pick i'm like yeah takes a pick and then he's like oh bad angle do it again i'm like fine i like that and then he's like all right see you later and he runs off towards the stage i'm like cool and then i see him walk on the stage i'm like
it's weird and uh and uh in another friend of ours zane comes up and he's like yo you uh that
guy you took a picture with i'm like yeah he's like oh. He's like, oh, that's J-Mook. I'm like, that's J...
Zayn told you that?
In Pengu, yeah.
Oh, in Pengu, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, oh...
And he's like, yeah, that's J...
I'm like, oh, I feel kind of bad.
Yeah.
Also, because you were...
As the story goes,
you were talking about how sick J-Mook is.
Like, you've been fucking following the career.
Yeah, like you've been done, no.
Yeah, like you've been done, no,
but you haven't been done no.
No, I just said he was sick because he beat Plup five seconds earlier.
If he hadn't beat Plup, I would have been like, J-Muk sick.
It was very reaction to the thing that happened.
Okay.
This also adds to the theory, by the way.
It could be learned that J-Muk listens to The Yard.
The Yard is the podcast of champions.
The podcast of champs.
Wow.
Love that.
Wait.
Close to champs.
Okay.
Well, does Zay not listen to The Yard? Big Comptown guy, actually. Imagine. Yeah. Yeah. Love that. Wait. Close to champs. Okay. Well, does Zay not listen to the yard?
Big Comptown guy, actually.
Imagine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just listen.
Love Stobby, baby.
After grand finals, I hit Zayn with the, bro, you spilled beer all over your shirt thing.
I put the finger up him in the nose, and he was in shambles.
He was crushed.
The bit's evolved, by the way.
I don't like the direction this bit has gone in.
Oh, my God.
The new version of
the bit is the person pointing at the thing that is on your shirt being like oh that's a like i had
a phantom t-shirt on one day and i think dom got me and he was just like oh that's a phantom shirt
and then i'm like oh yeah and then he flips me oh you're such a you're such a dumb bitch
the better version of this is we met Bundun,
which is one of the Aussie guys' friends.
Great, great dude.
Bundun and Josh are going somewhere,
and Josh drops his mask out of his pocket,
but doesn't know.
And Bundun says,
Josh, you dropped your pocket,
and points at the mask.
And points him in a scenario
where Josh can't look down because he's owned but he
doesn't look down he doesn't know that he's dropped his mask yep and so josh goes like i'm
not looking down bro and bundan's like ah okay and then later josh is like where's my mask oh
that's such a gift earlier i told you you dropped it he's like you said you dropped your pocket he's
like yeah it was your mask i don't know i said pocket oh that's such a gift in that spot if you're
bonda it was so fucking good i'm like damn you really just put him in an unwinnable scenario
like one time i was actually at main stage nick yingling like his phone fell out of his pocket
and he didn't notice so i just grabbed it and i put it in my pocket and then i just watched the
television show that was him people love running that bit the old take the phone and then just then
they're like where's my phone and then like, then they're like, where's my phone?
And then like maybe an hour later,
you're like this phone.
Dude, I waited so long.
You waited a while.
I waited too long.
Yeah.
Was it, there was a smash summit
where YouTube couldn't find his phone, right?
And he was literally asking every single person
in the venue if they had seen his phone,
just like walking around.
And it was like-
It was like disruptive.
Yeah.
It was just like, and he would come back. He'd like circle back. He's like, have you seen my phone just like walking around and it was it was like disruptive yeah it was just
like he and he would come back he like circle back he's like have you seen my phone like now
i was like no i it's been it's been like 15 minutes i haven't found your phone dude crazy
is that we were at uh breakfast and h rock gets a call and he's like hey what's up and he doesn't
know who it is ran a number and the guy's like, hey, I have your passport. And H-Rock didn't even know
he lost the passport.
And the guy had it and found him
before H-Rock was smart enough
to realize he lost it.
Two things.
Listen, H-Rock,
we're beefing.
Yeah?
There's a clip.
I get recommended clip channels.
I'm actually a clip channel connoisseur.
Sure.
Don't change it.
Tentastaurus.
Okay, now we're banned.
Now we're demonetized yeah you
definitely archie you better fuck him oh by the way we can't swear in the first like three minutes
of our video two minutes two minutes so oh shit we should have we should have gave archie like a
like a speed run or like a stress test we should have stress test archie people can just know that
we're gonna if we if we say something funny in the first two minutes, we'll just bleep out the word.
It won't be bleeped though.
It'll be just like.
Muted.
And we should have done that, but I forgot.
It's okay.
Okay.
To swear.
Listen to me.
All right.
Atriok.
Right.
He had a clip where he was, he was like fake stream mad at, and he said it was cringe how
you showed Susan Bojack the people shy waiting for bus emo. People waiting for bus. Right. And he said it was cringe how you showed Susan Wojak the people shy waiting for bus emo.
People waiting for bus.
Right.
And he said, it was so fucking cringe that he did that on YouTube.
And I was like, you fucking bootlicker.
What are you doing?
And I messaged him and I said, you are a fucking bootlicker for this.
And when the revolution comes, you will not be spared.
Yeah.
And then I sent him a cool Starcraft clip immediately after. Did he reply he didn't reply at all wow tough yeah he did make fun of that and
then i was self-conscious and i asked a few people i was like was it cringe because you know the
public reaction was generally everything was pretty good he just he just thinks that because
it's like the fucking it's like a tech giant that he he needs to like fucking it's it's funny your line for this
is him him saying that when he works for nvidia yeah he works for one of the big dogs already i
know that's why he's such a huge pussy licking boots i know but for him to for him to say that
i know yeah ten more please give me more boot i need it right now it's so cringe and if they're looking for any marketing
directors he's the one who fucking brought a cranky cronch miss are you fucking kidding me
that's so disgusting actually i like when he's on my side i'm so fucking mad about this he would
have told susan about cranky cronch i'm so fucking mad about imagine atrioc interviewing susan wojak
he's like like a fucking cartoon wolf dumb piece of shit don't fucking call him
but also i heard he missed out on jmook yeah he was supposed to sponsor j that's your comeuppance
is he talked about sponsoring jmook for like a month leading up to this event and then didn't
follow up because because he's atrioc and then jmook got top 8 winners and then wanted to sponsor
him for Sunday but couldn't seal the deal.
Yeah, he was trying to get him to wear the
Enron hat on stage on the last day
and Jmook
backed out because he was like, I just don't want to
put anything on. I'm not used to it.
Jmook was concerned it would influence how he
feels. Which I think is totally fair.
If you never play with something
on your head, I feel like that is a weird thing.
I think it's great.
Especially when you're in winner's side
of fucking top eight at Genesis, baby.
Let's go, J-MOOC.
More good news for you and bad news for H-Rock.
He missed his flight to the event.
Yes, yes!
So as the plane is about to take off,
he's supposed to fly with Brian Tran.
He sends Brian Tran a text.
He says, hey, when's the plane take off?
Brian is on the tarmac.
The plane is taxiing. Yeah, he's almost not allowed to be texting right now it's it's a full lmao all caps reply atrioc was late because he didn't pay his taxes yet dude you know i was
gonna bring this up because i knew when you told me he like never got a response or jay muck never
got a response or whatever um or wait no he just never reached out right he never reached out before this he thought he was
going he didn't follow up they talked about it but yeah okay he never followed up so a track
actually sits down i give him my time i sit down with him for like 45 minutes i teach him how to
do accounting basic bookkeeping to be a streamer because he's like i haven't done shit i don't
know what the fuck i'm like scared and i'm like okay that's fine we'll like talk about it and i was like yeah i'll just tell you everything i do for ludwig and then he's like, I haven't done shit. I don't know what the fuck. I'm like scared. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. We'll like talk about it. And I was like, yeah, I'll just tell you everything I do for Ludwig.
And then he's like, okay.
And then I tell him everything he needs to do.
And then he's like, would you do this for me for money?
And I said, yes.
And we talked about it a little bit and then he just never followed up again.
Nice.
And then, and then he was late doing his taxes.
Yeah.
I'm so fucking happy about that.
Yeah.
Dude, his life is like it's like
how do i budget my time and it's like all right work hours uh and then like important streams
and then hanging out with my fiancee and then it's like 16 hours of playing elden ring on saturday
and sunday he's like what can i cut to figure out the rest of my stuff please my family is dying
and then he looks at ari he's like maybe we just don't hang out as much.
Maybe you watch me play Elden Ring.
Yeah.
I just got Rivers of Blood.
It's going to be fun now.
But yeah,
anyway,
that's going to close our fuck Atrioc portion.
Have you guys heard of this Japanese kid show?
Oh,
is it the toddler show?
You keep saying it that way.
That's worse.
You keep saying it this way.
I like the way you keep saying it.
No,
with the toddlers.
No,
you haven't seen these kids.
You watch toddlers. Actually, the way he explains it, because No, it's the show with the toddlers. You watch toddlers.
Actually, the way he explains it, because I already heard him do this, is worse.
It sounds worse.
It's a show about Japanese kids called Old Enough.
No.
Yeah.
I feel like that's... I forgot that was a fucking name.
Maybe they should name it something else.
Oh, it's just called Old Enough.
Don't say it like that.
The tone of your voice and your eyes are all changing. Like your whole facial expression. Don't italicize like what the tone of your voice is in your eyes are all changing like
your whole facial expression don't italicize the title of this with your voice i'm gonna go old
enough we're gonna stay on three together okay one two three old enough old enough yeah it's
not great so it's a japanese kid in old enough and the idea is you get one kid like one like
little japanese kid yeah and good Good kid. Strong kid.
Strong kid.
Powerful kid who's old enough.
And you take him
and you give him a task.
Okay.
Like it's a mogus.
Right.
And then the whole...
You keep feeding him vegetables.
You keep feeding him.
The whole show is
I'm feeding him
until he gets strong.
And he's there for a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they have little camera
and fall...
They're normal sized camera men. But they have little camera and fall. Not little.
They're normal-sized cameramen.
But they follow the little kid around who's not normal-sized doing a task.
It'd be funny if they had tiny cameramen, like Demi-Humans from Elden Ring.
Or other kids role-playing.
The whole production crew is old enough.
It's just a bunch of three- and four-year-olds holding cameras.
Okay, here's a clip Zipper's bringing up.
Yeah, it's a 10-year-old four year olds holding cameras here's a clip Zipper's bringing up it's a ten year old show in Japan
this is cute
but it just got popular on Netflix
I think they might have just gotten access to it
and it's like trending it's like everywhere
so I've been showing it to a bunch of people
yeah you showed it to Mango
Hammer did he like it
okay so Mango came over
because he lost he got ninth in Genesis
first time ever not being top eight.
First time not being top eight in years.
And he was sad, but I was like, hey, come over to my place.
We'll commentate together.
He's like, I'm down.
It's actually great.
Leaving Sunday from a tournament is amazing.
And you can just watch it from the cover of your home.
You don't have the Monday tired fucking...
The Sunday late time.
Wouldn't know what that's like.
It feels better for the soul.
I'm charged right now.
You can actually see
who went yeah yeah call mario strikers but also did you get but you're a social guy yeah i mean
you're i wanted to hang out with people like amen when he's drunk he's just like aiden was great
what happened man what happened insisted on being in the middle of the street while he
was drunk and i was trying to pull him back out of the middle of the street he's like no no i
remember this i was looking in the distance yeah yeah yeah he keeps going there's no whoa
oh the cars are so close man they're so close and i'm like i'm like that i'm not worried about the
cars that are coming i'm worried about the cars that you're not gonna be thinking about because
you're in the middle of the street singing mo bamba and censoring all the words
you're not allowed to say that's good because at genesis 5 they didn't do that the reason they not
being aiden they being the the contestants of genesis 5 and pepperidge farm remembers and that's
why it's a joke every time mo bamba comes up at these fucking tournaments because you all said it because
when they're playing with a young person's phone the reason the reason the reason that this came
up last night is so i can't remember who it was but someone postured the question at the bar that
if hbox got up on the stage he says saying the full lyrics to mobamba in front of everyone right now would he be canceled more fans and we were
debating this dude yeah he he does not survive that because that's what i said he posted hbox
posted to r slash black people twitter his own tweet yeah yeah he's out what do you want, dude? Sorry, he stands.
I still can't believe.
I still literally cannot believe he did that.
And he was dressed up like a douche the whole fucking tournament, too.
I'm just watching from home.
I'm on my back.
He was character acting the whole weekend.
He was incredible.
I don't know.
We might cut this.
I don't know.
I'm going to bring it up, though.
He came up to me and he was like,
I heard a rumor. And I'm like, I don't like that starter cut this i don't know i'm gonna bring it up though he came up to me and he was like i heard a rumor and i'm like i'm like i don't like that starter dude he
does intro ominously he intros like the fucking joker yeah and i'm like what's the rumor and he's
like i heard that you and the ludwig crew are planning a roast of me i was like what hey one
no wait dude that's funny because he went up to me
and we were talking
and he said
in the elevator
he's like
dude imagine like
a roast of hunger bugs
and he paused
like that
and I replied
oh dude
so Huey was right
Huey had a theory
that he was just
trying to plant
the idea in my brain
he's inception
he was incepted
he was incepted
he's next level
that's next level
this is crazy
this is why I'm H fan.
I have more respect for him.
One, one, one.
Let's go.
I don't have enough content energy to do that.
I'm just mad.
I'm actually just mad.
Your back hurts too much.
It was actually legendary marketing.
I couldn't believe that he played so well on Sunday because there was this hotel room party
by the trip sip guys.
The 69 party?
The 69 party.
It hurt people.
69% party.
I did not go.
It's like a brand.
But the 69 party.
It's not where they do 69.
It's not where they do 69.
I get worried, bro.
I get worried.
Everyone's going to the fucking tournament
and we just got out.
We got out of fucking COVID.
We got out of the fucking,
the scandal woods.
I've worried about it.
No, it was good.
I mean, 6-4 is a sucking fuck floor, but like I said, that was pretty chill.
I don't know, man.
The hentai booth was getting fucking static on Twitter.
I was like, this is good.
This is progress, I hope.
That party went really, really late, apparently.
Dom was fucked up at like 5 p.m the next day
so high yeah dom dom showed up late to top eight because he was puking yeah that's crazy
and it's just no sleep and apparently one went to the party he had to play on sunday but he was
at the party and i caught him in the elevator after he had left like in the middle of the night and
he's just leaning in the elevator on his phone and i'm standing there with him and like two other
people i don't know who are not with him and then all of a sudden in the elevator he says
the world is such a cruel cruel place dude that's so weird that's sick and then i was like i was like in my head i was just like
damn he just watched a kingdom hearts 4 trailer and then and then a few crazy a few seconds passed
by and he was just he looked at me specifically and he was like aiden there's too much hate in
this world and i was just like yeah i mean we have to vanquish the hate the the
the worst man you know just made a great point the crazy context of this is i was also on the
elevator that same night and i was trying to get snackies and water because we were devoid of it
in our room and driving down the elevator was the host of the party oh trip i think yeah he was
some guy with a 69 hat and he's like yeah we had a crazy party
69 room it's fucking crazy and i was like and i was great that's tight and people really like
sharing with me because i'm ludwig and they know me you're ludwig and they're so he was like he
was like yeah juan was there and i was like that's crazy he was like yeah he was on his phone the
whole time on twitter and i went up to him for a little bit and i was like i'm not the great the biggest one fan but i was like hey great play and he was like
the world is full of hate and he's just moody all night something happened wow and then he
affected one doom scrolling doom but it's but it's your own doom and then he showed up at top
eight and still played and then still beat laud in the war of
attrition that we all watch ross shades on i think my my favorite one experience it was genesis four
or five and it was at the uh the big hotel where there's like that valet right and it's late at
night it's like saturday night maybe sunday night and uh crunch his coach used to be his coach i
don't know if he still is he's like wasted on the sidewalk and he's like puking and it's really funny because he's just doing that it's always funny and then
a bunch of us are watching from inside the lobby because there's this huge glass pane wall where
you can see into the valet and crunch is just like fucking throwing up and i forget who's even with
me but it's like miles or something we're like miles or something. We're just like, Oh yeah. We were just like laughing.
It was me,
you and Ben.
Oh,
that's right.
And like,
ha ha ha.
And, and H box,
he sees us laughing.
He's hammered too.
He turns and then he just starts banging on the glass like a gorilla.
He's like,
what are you looking at?
He's screaming at us.
Yeah.
Keep looking.
What are you even looking at?
It's like in the movie with like
you hear him screaming and raging the music's loud and it cuts the inside the lobby you hear
like the little elevator music yeah and we're like is he looking it up dude it was so fucking funny
he brought it up we were the genesis we were we were walking um home from uh guildhouse and
hbox was like in our big unit of people walking and um uh some guy some
guys just like puking all over the sidewalk and uh i'm sort of like trying to just get around it
and ignore it and his homie we're walking by his homie just goes be respectful and i start laughing
because like the funniest what does that mean he thought we're gonna make fun of the guy puking
he's like it's a big group of guys and he's like going crazy.
He was like, be respectful, y'all.
But he's also laughing.
Like he's kind of just like, he just knows the whole thing.
And I'm laughing because I'm like, I did want to say something, but I won't.
That was one unironically.
Because if you're puking on the side of the street, like you made your bed. I could never make fun of them because that's been me a few times.
It's not about making fun of them.
It's just about being able to be like,
yo, that sucks.
That's crazy that that's you.
I learned more details about the story
because Juan brought this up on Prompted
because the guy was puking
and he told that story about the guy at Genesis.
And I didn't have the heart to even mention
that was there.
I was just like,
wait, what?
I was listening.
And he's like, yeah,
that guy was like,
he was like puking in the car like the Uber on on the way over all over himself and then we got out and there's all this lore and context i can't get into about it wait the same moment that i just
described yeah yeah but he's pov and that's the thing about it is there's two three truths that's
right yours is in the reality and god jesus christ i think to start getting towards the closing out of genesis
uh one thing that i didn't realize was the case until the after party after top eight
was a large group uh in zipper i sent you a photo you could bring up a large group of yard viewers
went to genesis that don't play melee really yeah place match titles did they play like from the
discord i don't know if they entered, but a lot of them came up
and said they like,
this was like a con for them.
Like they all went
and they caught dinner
at Yardhouse.
Nice.
I like Yardhouse.
Holy shit,
that's so many people.
Yardhouse is a nice chain.
Look how many people there were.
That's so many people.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is so cool.
But they don't play the game.
Presumably some play the game.
Some of them do
because I feel like
that's like Afghans on the right. Yeah. But they don't play the game. Presumably some play the game. Some of them do, because I feel like that's like Afghans on the right.
Yeah.
But a lot of them don't.
Guys, if you're going to fake the funk,
at least get a controller.
Just play the game.
You can just go.
Just faking it, bro.
They're just having fun if they're not playing it.
Yeah, I get it.
Slime doesn't like it.
He doesn't like it.
Look, I'm not trying to be pissy.
I just hope that they play the game.
They hang out in the Discord
and watch each other play the game all the time. Welcome the new age i will defend get on them get on them
because i think they had a great time i think that looks hype i think that look it's like lifelong
connections i'll never forget there was a group of them that were pretty rowdy and they were arm
wrestling everyone at the venue yeah and it got pretty hype nice but there's a bunch of strong
lads that were there we got strong viewers we had a couple strong ones i love having powerful viewers they were there was a crowd of people withads that were there. We got strong viewers? We had a couple strong ones, yeah. I love having powerful viewers.
There was a crowd of people with the grip strength tester around the bar.
They were all going around.
They were roasting everyone who couldn't hit as much as their friend.
Dude, who was...
Yeah, one of...
I forget his name.
I feel bad.
What's he hitting?
He maxed.
He maxed the...
No, no, no.
He was hitting like 167.
No, one of them hit 198 and it caps out at like 199 or something.
I saw 1677 that's almost a
whole ludwig yeah that's crazy just crushing you like an egg because they did it they had me do it
at the after party i hit my i hit my 104 104 i've been stuck in the 90s for a while so three digits
and then i was sadly telling them how ludwig beats me out by like 40 pounds. I was like confessing this to them.
I like how you were honest.
You said, don't cheer for me.
Oh, they weren't cheering for me.
I also do that though.
So, you know, it's not too bad.
It's like both of us doing it.
Hey, Cooter stays winning in two things.
Grip strength and mashing.
Yeah, I'm glad that you still got it.
I did have a question.
I lost by two.
Two? I only lost by two. Two?
Three lost by three.
What?
It was 193-190.
Three?
Yeah.
It was three.
I don't think that's the case.
I think he's lying.
He's wrong.
I heard Zipper yapping.
Zipper said three.
Oh, shit.
So I didn't see what it was.
I was told it was two after.
I have a question for you.
Uh-huh.
Because this is the first tournament You've attended since
Before COVID
And becoming famous Ludwig man
So did it suck
Or did you enjoy yourself
I imagine you would not
I feel like you left kind of early
And you wouldn't want to do it again
I left used and cum filled
Fucking not a second alone
You weren't cum filled
you filled genesis with the cum i'm saying not a person went up to me who didn't want to swap a
little spit it was just it was non-stop for about like three hours when i got there because i landed
and i immediately went to the venue because i set up my stream for three yeah and i was there from
like three to like six or seven. And it was the whole time.
When you tried to leave the venue, I just spectated for a bit.
And it was actually insane to watch.
This kid getting aggroed?
Yeah.
Dude, I'm an aggro unit and everybody was getting pissed off.
I found weird.
I don't even know if you like chose this or anything.
But like Cloud9 set up like a like a cage for him like they gave
him like like they roped him off in a square of concrete literally nothing in the concrete they
just roped him off and they allowed a line to funnel into the ropes of area to like meet him
this was for the mashing thing no no it was just for just me and one way
it's all packed away and then next to this standing in a square. Ashing is over.
It's all packed away.
And then next to this booth is a square on the concrete with nothing inside of it.
Literally nothing.
Not a table.
Ludwig's signature in photo time.
And then there's individuals entering to meet Ludwig and talk to him and have their individual
moment.
And I was like, this is crazy.
Well, what happened is I was doing the mashing thing.
The mashing thing was like, be me in mashing when all the money I've raised.
And I started with $100 in,
and it got up to $705 before nobody challenged me.
I played over 100 people,
and then I was like, you know what?
It's good.
I don't need to give $5 to lose.
And so I stopped it.
But behind me the whole time were spectators.
We're just watching.
And so when I was done, I said,
hey, you guys are really nice for hanging out the whole time.
We can do a little meet thing.
The bud wigs.
They set up the thing, and I walked in the middle, and I said, welcome to the prize cow show.
And they all went up.
And I talked to them all, and it was great.
It was really nice meeting everyone.
Yeah, you like that.
I have the interaction nailed down.
I'm very good at that interaction.
Yeah, it's really special for them, I'm sure.
Look, I think they have a great time.
You've optimized it.
You've put it on a fucking printing press
and you just fucking doesn't...
Hey, what's your name?
Hey, what's your name?
Well, Stan came up to me
because what you guys probably have dealt with,
at least early on,
but maybe you're better at it now,
is when people recognize you,
they don't expect to see you there
because it's not like a plan meet nick at this corner where we
real quick before we move on from that i had a guy who leaned over to ask me a question he was
like do you know when like bracket starts and then midway through asking the question like saw me
and said oh oh sorry yeah it's a apologize better not fucking talk to my man apologize to talking
to me that's right and i was like yes sir i'm like you can ask me the question god damn god
damn what the fuck was that so i guess he knows then good yeah i fucking punched him in the mouth
idiot well that's what happens is like so people walk around and the podcaster don't freak out
their aoe will like the the aoe will be triggered and you'll be in the range and they'll be like
yeah and then they'll be like oh range, and they'll be like...
Yeah.
And then they'll be like, oh, my God.
And they did not expect to have an interaction,
so they have planned nothing at all except for...
Which is how humans should kind of operate.
Like, immediate, I know you, and I like you.
Yeah, yeah.
But then what will happen...
Very Charlie Day-esque.
This is what will happen if you don't do anything.
If you just react to it
and you're just like oh cool how's it going
they'll just stand there
a lot of people will just be like
and they don't have anything to say and they're like
thinking like what should I say
and some people nail it some people are like dude love what you do
that's all hey have a great
tournament
if you're a fist bump love what you do
and fucking give us both breathing room if you're a if you're a fist bump love what you do and fucking give us both
breathing room forever you're you're a gem it's your chaos emerald yeah those are the good people
and some people know what they want they're like can i get a pic can you sign this also chaos
emerald stay with me for a moment i want you all i want to paint a picture imagine while you're
looking at this man imagine that you are him okay you're hungry obviously if this is going where i think it's
going i'm gonna be upset at you but what are you hungry for it's not just slop slop trough food
mud water you're sitting there you're sitting there you're you're watching a lot at home
because you're stinky too you're no not during the raid! Ty Voight. Ty Voight.
Dave, Archie, Archie, I want you to put over his cheeks
NordVPN.com slash The Yard.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's our sponsor for this episode.
Because you should be hungry for privacy, okay?
And NordVPN.com slash The Yard.
Use the code and you get a little discount.
And you can keep your secrets private.
Because Ludwig wants the secret of his weight to be private.
But he can't because it physically appears on him.
I'm going to fucking fight you.
But he can't.
I can't wait for you to heal.
So NordVPN.com slash a yard.
It's like a VPN.
Step to me.
It is a VPN.
It is a VPN.
It is like a VPN.
Here's the thing.
There's no VPN for your body.
Let me give you a visual.
So Ludwig's trying to attack Slime.
And me, NordVPN comes in, and I pull out a switchblade.
And I say, hey, Ludwig.
Hey, Ludwig, you can't do that or I'll fucking kill you.
And also, I'm going to hide where he lives.
That's what NordVPN does for your data online.
NordVPN, they'll fucking kill you.
online nor nor that's right they'll fuck it they'll fucking kill you so so there's no there's no vpn for your body
dude you're kind of jacked yeah you're looking you're trapped looking good right now i'll say
that and so nordvpn.com slash the yard and sub name
mask your IP
watch anime
that's region locked
all sorts of things
you could do
with a good VPN.
You can watch other things
that are region locked.
It doesn't have to be anime.
You can watch
you know our viewers
don't watch anime.
Unfortunately
you can watch anime.
You've watched a lot of anime lately.
Take a break.
Take a break.
Stop watching anime.
Watch a normal TV show
with NordVPN. You're talking shit on anime, Aiden? Hmm? a lot of anime lately take a break take a break stop watching anime watch a normal tv show with
nor talking shit on anime hmm oh i love it gives him a two and with that we come out of the read
thank everyone thank you nor vpn back to the regular schedule content i wanted to say i wanted
to tell you that um polish had mentioned uh that really really liking your valorant streams
and uh and also mentioned like but i would never
go up and tell him because he'd hate me forever and i was like no i wouldn't it wouldn't hate
you forever nope you're you're a god not polish and so it would mean a lot that's what i was
telling funny on twitter and uh humble and the just really handsome i was telling this last
night i was i was breaking this down for magi because she was talking about how she watches
slimes valorant streams all the time that's a was talking about how she watches Slime's Valorant streams all the time. Magi's a huge fucking fan.
And about how she's a patron.
I was explaining how
all of the god...
I was explaining to her how
Quindota makes Slime feel.
And I was like, you're in that group.
Here's the thing. I think god gamers
like watching me because I remind them of
who they were. And in a way
still am. Okay, hold on.
No.
Like, I'm a shitter.
I suck.
And then they watch me, and they're like, I'm sick at the game,
but that's still, like, I grew up doing that.
Counsel, he's complimenting himself and insulting himself.
Do we take the insult and move the compliment?
You remind them of who they were, but you're also later in your life.
Yeah, that doesn't count.
No, he reminds them of what
they were scared they would be hey okay you know what all god gamers that enjoy my valor stream
sound off all right tell me why you like them and we'll see who's right because i do it for you
sure when i see magi just pop off after like three hours of streaming and she just goes let's go i'm
like that's the at the after party i see magi and she just goes let's go i'm like at the at the
after party i see magi and bonfire they're both giggling like school girls and i go over and i'm
like what's going on what's what's so funny imagine it's like freaking out and i'm like
what's what's up and she's like the guy who fc'd through the fire and flames for the first time is
here oh my god that's so like that's not what I thought you were talking about. Them geeking out is so fucking...
That's not what I thought you were talking about.
That is deep level.
Adorable.
Bonfire also fan.
What were you saying though?
You were roped off like an animal.
You're a cow.
Three thousand people.
A huge cow.
Just eating and eating and eating.
Yeah.
200 pound.
Well.
A stinky two.
But stop it.
And then you're just so big and bulbous.
Are you a stinky two again?
No, I'm not even close bro what are you way
you're not 188 i am i want to see you on this scale well i had a lot of pizza today you did
i saw you eat it while you were climbing a ladder like a weird fireman i eat like a garbage man at
genesis every day food in san jose is fucking horrible by the way i don't know if you guys
notice this there's like a million restaurants it's good no it's not there's not. There's like so many restaurants. It's better than Oakland.
I disagree. It's better than that part of Oakland.
No, it's not because Oakland has
that restaurant nature which is the best food I've ever had.
Yeah, the chicken place that gave me feelings.
This place is fucking amazing. I think you just
didn't try enough places. No, okay
hold on. Aiden can counter this with one point
that I gave him earlier but you're going to shut up and you're not going to say anything.
Shut the fuck up, Jmook
wearer of a shirt guy. i i ate a lot of different food
idiot all right and you're wrong sorry we keep interrupting i'm not allowed to tell them that
you ate at the same mexican place twice in one day that happened wow but there was many days
there's only so many meals there was many days i mean's only so many meals. There was many days. I mean, I feel like you blew a meal there, though. I think always saying the food in X place sucks,
if it's a city, like a city populated area,
it's like you just went to the wrong spots by accident.
I ate at five restaurants.
Look, I will say that.
You ate at five restaurants, two were the same,
one was Original Joe's, which is not a good place,
and then it was also Easter.
Six restaurants.
Someone ordered spaghetti at that fucking dinner.
Who was ordering spaghetti and meatballs?
There was a few side spaghettis.
I ordered just meatballs.
It was an Italian place, right?
It was an Italian place.
Never mind.
Wait, are you talking about the place we got dinner?
Original Joe's, yeah.
I thought they were pulling a David Chong.
Pee good.
No, no.
David Chong used to go to Denny's and order spaghetti.
This was an Italian place.
You're supposed to maybe get spaghetti.
It was decent.
Anyway, you're a fat, you're a giant cow roped off.
You keep saying this is why we get
you're like you're like arch deacon arch deacon from why do we get derailed from dark souls 3
and there's and i can give you dregs human dregs and then you give me lore and and and i can do
pvp with it you got everything in the mashing cup so yeah i'm in the pen
garbage man really quick sorry alien garbage man and i got home and
i was like i was like i'm gonna kill myself i was like well i just didn't finish my point
three points so i got home and i was like damn i feel fucking gross and big and huge and gross
i got on the scale and i'm the lightest i've ever been yeah i realized that what you feel
nothing no well no i'm not the slowest i've ever been. I realize that what you feel means nothing. No.
No, I'm not the slowest I've ever been.
Slow than me.
Five9 put a big old slop trough.
Dude, it was like the slurm bucket from Futurama.
The C9 slop trough.
He couldn't go anywhere without dragging it,
and just scraping the concrete.
It's like... And he can't,
because he needs to eat the slop
while he mashes, while he talks to people. That's why so many people stopped him on his way out't because he needs to eat the slop while he mashes while he talks
that's why so many people stopped him on his way out because he was dragging it out yeah he was
moving very fast and when the slop was out he just he just wailed like a banshee like just screamed
to the stars like how could this have happened to me your face and shirt just covered in slop
slop and gruel and creamed corn. No, but what were you saying?
It was fun.
It was nice meeting everyone.
And then you're just wheezing and wheezing.
Hope everyone had a good time.
So about...
We can go back to old enough.
Oh, yeah.
You watched it with Mango.
Yeah, it was also good i i went out to dinner with uh
hasan and cutie and a few other people last week and hasan was uh and uh hasan and somebody else
were talking about the show at dinner but that uh and they were just gassing up the show because
talking about the yard no no no old enough because we're all watching the japanese kids i see i see yeah uh-huh and i'd heard about this show from uh zipper three two who was also
also at the dinner so i was like oh yeah this is maybe maybe it's time to get around to watching
this and then while we're at dinner the conversation breaks away from this into uh slime somehow slime
is the dinner topic and his son starts explaining about how much he
loves slime how you're how you're one of his favorite people because he's seen he's seen who
you like follow and interact with on twitter and he's like we have a bunch of the same interests
like he's into all this like niche weird stuff that i am and i really like that
because they're both and i'm just listening to hassan fucking gas up slime at dinner
i don't get this fresh i mean last weekend off of us talking about how how he's the how he's the uh
the risk in the group which to be fair i i thought about it more i agree no come on thank you you
have hassan in your corner and i'm out that's crazy that's a bad person to have in your corner
why because he's also a risk how is he a risk he's a brand risk are you kidding me what he said one
thing about 9-11 one time maybe more than that yeah so what that that's it dude there's that one edit it makes me laugh
every single time is that clip of hassan uh it's like did america deserve 9-11
yeah and then it cuts to robot rock by daft punk
i've seen it maybe 20 times i think it's funny every single time it's like the uh the ylyl it's like interracial
marriage cringe yeah i think we both broke on that it's a good one uh yeah i saw it hasan's
also a risk dude yeah but no he's not because you could have you had a son on mogus money i mean
like he's not listening i'm fine with it i don't care all i'm saying is i am
you already know he isolates me yeah you're precious bro you're precious and injured and
feeble how was your short time with you left we should enjoy mango and cassidy's fucking
fucking hype everyone's i'm a good hanger there was a boomer i'm a good hanger huh
you sent another weird room tour video of me with a mango.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
Yeah, we all laughed at that. Yeah, I did.
It wasn't as funny as it could have been, so I didn't post it.
Yeah, mango broke.
But I was like, what's up?
I'm here with the goat mango.
I'm walking through Aiden's room.
And then I'm like, yo, what's up?
Mango, you think this guy has sex?
Or what do you think about this person who lives in here?
And he's like like why is this monitor
on a wii box which is true your computer monitor is and then we're all looking around and then he
looks down he's like oh there's condoms there's condoms on your floor yeah and that's hype i took
took them out well yeah you started you started using them on my fingers i played
i played i played this little game when i'm alone. It's called Condom Fingers.
I fucking waggle them around.
I chase myself around the room.
I take a sharpener. I draw little faces on each one.
It's like a little show.
I do it in front of my mirror.
It's Harry Potter Puppet Pals.
What was it like being an insect?
What was your weekend like? Ah, shit. What can I say?
I'm still in extreme pain uh i what happened what happened what happened so the story goes i triggered a part of his brain
he can't control literally literally like a month ago and i i think a lot about it i think it's
because i was like fucking playing video games for like nine hours straight for three four days
in a row and my posture shit anyway i wake up one morning and i turn my head oh i gotta i pinched something right
there just by turning my head which is really annoying because like well i turned my head a lot
in life and then uh it was right after i woke up so either way it's like oh that hurts now i can't
do it i can't exercise can't work out i can't be active because it's like it's it's a little tender
it's not like debilitating but i gotta stay off it because i know what happened last time you know what happened
last time i worked out and then it fucking just like and then it was like three weeks later i'm
like it feels better but it wasn't fixed and then i did work out oh two days later it was it's just
the most insane pain it's like a nerve that runs from your neck to your shoulder to your uh tricep
oh yeah the spine stuff fucking blows because it's just your whole body your toes will not work or
something it's just like uh guess what it's like it's like a butterfly effect type beat and uh and
so yeah i'm just in extreme pain it's been getting a little bit better by day by day but basically i
just have to sit on my back i couldn't like i can't sit down very easily like my posture here is the only
comfortable way i can be dude i was ordering like tacos at the place down the street and i'm like
i can't stand i have to like do this and kind of like walk around like an asshole or like a gibbon
like i was gonna say like yeah i'm just like a gibbon and the girl who's like taking my order
she's like kind of looking at me what is he doing i
look like i'm trying to flex and i'm just like being really weird why are you like it fucking
sucks i can't even like go in public because i'm just like in pain anyway yeah so i was just like
on my back and i watched uh genesis and i played elder ring i had like 50 hours in elder ring and
you watched jay mick change the game watch it it's the best game ever made by the way
right now what's up i have something i want to go to bat for slime right now. What's up? I have something I want to go to bat for.
First of all, you dodged a bullet not going to Genesis.
What?
I got FOMO on Sunday night.
No, you want to know about it.
You guys have fun.
You dodged one single bullet in a flurry of cookies that you could have eaten.
Was it a real bullet from a gun?
From a gunman?
Kind of.
One of your round one pools matches was someone who's banned in your chat.
And they wanted to talk to you.
And they wanted to talk to you and they
wanted to tell you that they were banned oh well that could have been hype because i could have
beat them you could have beat them it only matters if i beat them i yeah maybe that would make you
feel good um but so i could have been like look if you beat me you're unbanned but this is the part
where uh i want to go to bat for you because i think that you were criminally underseated
i think that i think that you were so underseseated i think that i think that you were
so underseated is polite was two seeds over you you had to be polite to make it out of pools
and then play had to like beat someone else well i heard pools are really light this this year well
it was only light because of dqs right it wasn't light in general like there's a lot of the top
seats just didn't show up but polite was seated above you you're gonna be polite and i was like
oh yeah like fucking dude no's polite? I played polite
because I was interested.
I played Fox.
And
you're better than polite.
Look, I lost to Blur.
You made it out last
Genesis.
You made it out last Genesis.
The dark secret is
that Blur is actually decent.
Yeah. Especially if Blur is actually decent. No. Yeah.
Yeah, the thing is,
even if Blur was to get, like,
if Blur was to go on a JMOOC run,
people would still say Blur sucks.
Don't you get it?
Blur does suck.
I can't, yeah, see?
I'm saying that because I money match him.
There's a video on my channel still.
When?
When?
2018?
Yeah.
7,000 years ago?
I think 19, maybe?
Yeah, he caught better.
No way.
Blur's really good now,
but you can't,
that's no excuse
for losing to Blur
if that makes sense.
He's not a lot of, yeah.
His skill increasing
is the skill floor increasing.
And also melee stats,
melee stats does not
like me very much.
It's pretty much Wheat
who loves me
and then everyone else
they're beefing with me.
So, it's alright.
Genesis staff. I'm trying to take down the system from the inside and it's a me. So it's all right. Genesis staff.
I'm trying to take down the system from the inside,
and it's a lone battle.
There's a lot of cabals, a lot of terrorism.
The melee stats cabal.
Yo, speaking of terrorism.
We can't do this again.
I love our Adderys.
Do they?
They will.
I don't know about the sponsors,
but the fans loved it last episode.
I mean, the sponsors are signing off on them though, right?
Yeah.
There you go.
Well, how about you sign off on this?
Wait, should we do it?
I mean, we can do it later.
We'll do it later.
We'll do it later.
I actually went to look at,
I almost never watch the art after we do it,
but I went to watch last week's episode
because I wanted to see our ad read.
Did you read the comments?
Yeah. 90% of comments are talking about the ad read that's 90 of the comments are talking about how we're demonetized and how they want ads on the video that's very high so that we can have
monetization we appreciate that i wish the other one could have been they're right we're not making
enough god damn it thank you boys for fighting i want to know what that thanks for 20 i want to
know what that person was banned for because if it was like something stupid i know it'd be like whatever they were banned for you
playing valorant and them going in chat and saying counter-strike is better yeah i i i think i would
have talked to that person like a normal human being okay and and i think that would have been
fun you changed your back changed no i i just the thing the thing the thing is i just don't
the acidity it's like if they come up to me,
even if they're banned or something,
and they're just really normal,
and they're not like a fucking cartoon,
I'm 90% just going to be like, yeah.
Wait, is this the guy that came up to us at the end of the event?
This guy was very normal.
But this is important.
We told him we would tell you.
And we'll do it here.
In public.
We'll air it.
So someone that you banned weapon uh asked us for forgiveness
because you rejected their forgiveness uh and so hype you came up to us that sentence you blocked
him on twitter you blocked him on twitter and we're like yeah we can't help you with that oh
i know who it is i've been blocked on twitter and then he said he sent you an apology on twitch
like a twitch whisper and and you said something to the effect of, I don't believe that you mean it.
And then he expressed to us that
he would like you to know that he really does mean it.
This is so stupid.
The words he used were,
I think he just doesn't know I'm from Toronto.
And he doesn't know that this is genuine words.
Vancouver.
Vancouver.
Vancouver.
Don't let Ontario take credit for this.
Can I ask?
What?
Why are you doing this?
Because Canadian can know.
Why give him this?
Because it was his one wish.
No, because he was genuinely trying to apologize.
He said, I had one wish.
He's Canadian.
It's in our soul.
Because he said he felt really bad about what he said to you.
It's in our soul to apologize.
Well, if he felt that bad, then he should just fucking...
Oh, man, this is bad.
Oh, no.
Wait, if he felt that bad, what was he supposed to do?
We're making it worse.
We're making it worse.
How dare he do this?
Because if it was that bad, your job is to leave me alone.
He's doing it to you.
He's doing it to you.
He's right.
He's taking a podcast time.
You're taking up time.
We're more money than doctors
and you're taking up our time.
What the fuck?
I can't remember what he said,
but he explained what you blocked him for
and it really was not bad.
I think he said he wanted to crack he explained what you blocked him for. And it really was not bad. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I think he said he wanted to like crack an egg on your head or something.
Oh, that's what it was.
He wanted to kiss your head.
Kiss your head.
You know what?
Something like that.
Let me bring this up.
Just stop fucking messaging me fucking things that you think I would think are funny.
I'm not your friend.
And I don't mean that like a dickhead.
You just said it.
Just send it to your own friends. And if you don't have them, please don't make it my problem you just said it you just why would you do that i remember your no no no i think i think because
i've been blocking so many people i'm close to the utopia i have to believe or it'll be a thing
where i get one it's like i can't message him anymore all i'm saying is guys it's just weird
i look at it and i'm like this is just weird dude i'll be your friend you guys can dm me yeah dm ludwig he doesn't care he'll just ignore it because he's
fucking goaded at the sauce i'm busting down it's like it's like trying to send a fucking text to a
dog or like a toaster hey it won't go uh fuck me hey reed we tried i don't yeah yeah suck my dick
dude leave me alone no don't care don't suck his dick
don't do that of excluding aiden from things that we all get to do nice all right let's go
everyone here except for aiden is gonna be in mogul money live let's go
dude i i i can't believe this because is it because he doesn't like Fortnite? The reason... No. The reason that I'm not in is because I threw.
I threw the game because I didn't know that having a lead going into fast money is fucking
mattered.
Oh, so you just didn't...
It's like whatever.
It's just a game, bro.
That's what you're saying.
I thought it'd be funnier to troll, so...
I don't think that it should be on me to make you think the game is important and take the
care and respect that it deserved. I got... And now you're mad that you don't get a reward for not think the game is important and take the care and respect
that it deserved.
And now you're mad
that you don't get a reward
for not giving the game respect?
I don't know why
this is on me.
It's funny that he
is getting...
Did you announce this?
As one of the people...
Have you announced it?
No, this is a...
He joining is...
Well, actually,
just one competitor can't join.
So he is joining
because of that.
But I haven't...
That's a secret one.
But Nick is joining because he's a champion and deserves it oh yeah i would have been if i didn't bet all my
part of a secret you also didn't win five thousand dollars i know but like you didn't care about that
no i did care about that i'm telling you said you threw so you didn't care that much but you said
you threw i didn't throw one purpose i it's like you're not even listening you're doing me right
now i'm just saying i thought you when you say you throw you don't listen you're aiding pilled right now yes it
happens all the time can i try of course let me try rephrasing like michael babarro um so yeah i
i guess i was just invited to a game show and i didn't like look up the rules at all and then
after that i lost not understanding the rules i'm upset because now i found out about the rules
even though i could have looked it up michael babar doesn't sound anything like this bitch yes and also also isn't it your job to explain the rules no wait he did wait no i will
say yeah ludwig there were a couple i explained how to play the game i don't explain explain
that the game i knew him if there's negative numbers game if you're second going into fast
money you lose not true basically not true i wouldn't be second. Sykuno Connor eats pants.
Episode six.
Didn't know about that. Yeah, only if the person going first is terrible.
It's crazy how fake you are.
You have never watched an episode and you're complaining about the show for a night.
I have.
I've watched all the episodes.
Then why didn't you know how it worked?
Ooh.
Ooh.
Do you ever think about that?
Oh, forgot?
Whose fault is it?
Who forgot?
Oh, it was you?
You forget to flush after shit
and is that my fault too?
You send the rules to Hasan
and Cody Cole
can't send the rules to me.
He's a fucking meatloaf
in the toilet.
You love this shit?
Are you high right now?
Actually you didn't want
you did it in the
play the Phoenix Wright music
because you said
that I sent the rules to Cody
the rules to Cody Cole
I sent Cody
to look up Valorant agents
because it was going to be
in the quick money
and he didn't do it.
Yeah.
So you didn't even watch.
It doesn't even matter.
It's like, no, I knew that happened.
I'm telling the people who don't even know.
You took the time to send them to Cody Coe.
You didn't send anything to me.
You know what was a big clip?
So I messaged Radstads and I was like, let's take a page out of Limus' book.
Oh, by the way, that's why Luke has been on the board for fucking two weeks.
Limus Tech Tips. Okay. Linus Tech Tips. let's take a page out of limus's book oh by the way that's what luke has been on the board for fucking two weeks limus tech timps okay linus tech tips linus linus text my tip so he that was someone's name by the way discord uh they they do uh they have a wan show it's called the wan show
it's with luke and linus and it's like a just a tech podcast and they'll have wan show clips
and it's a huge fucking channel. You want to take...
Don't start laughing at me about what
I watch. Am I a fucking personal time?
Dude, I walk into his room.
He's going to fucking roast me.
He's sitting there in his dumb ass position like a
family guy character who tripped over.
And he's watching Linus
Tech Tips. No, no, no. It's not. It was
Gamers Nexus. He's watching a video
and it's a list. And it's like AMD 740, no, no. It's not. It was Gamers Nexus. He's watching a video and it's a list.
And it's like AMD 740, AMD 730.
Yeah, dude.
Okay.
Intel 550.
Hey, my loyal brothers of Steve from Gamers Nexus rise.
And tell Ludwig he's fucking stupid.
It's a review of a bunch of what?
Processors.
And how fast they go.
No, they do temperature.
They do ambient. Oh my do ambient they do case torture
they do they do for fps and in red dead 1440p he's like 17 minutes into this like 30 minute
video and it's just like an excel sheet i'm an i'm an insanely informed consumer you have no
fucking idea that's great yeah but he walks in and literally the content on these videos is like
a series of charts
and Steve talking over them and explaining them very succinct.
He's so goaded.
He's actually a journalist.
And, and, and what walks in and it's just a video of charts and I'm just watching.
He looks at me.
So dry.
Yeah.
Dude.
No way.
This is the most boring thing we've ever brought on the screen.
No, no.
I do. I watch these all the time. It it is so boring it was actually that video zipper isn't that crazy
he's watching he's like so that's why when you fucking dipshits ask me about your computers
i have the fucking answer every time no i love that that's right you guys helped build my pc
oh this is a great chart so frequency variation this is great look at how slow
the yellow line moves stop laughing zipper why is he so slow anyway yeah oh this is a chart you
walked in on this is a new chart so this is power consumption now you can see here that when you get
down bigger so that that this 3d 5800 processor is really good for gaming but not for like editing and stuff.
It's so it's so crazy
how good
you are at dating.
Yeah I'm pretty charming
huh?
Isn't that crazy?
It's so annoying
that
that you are
that charming
on like Tinder
but also watch videos
like that.
What can I say?
I'm a bit of an all-star.
I mean that's
pick one. That's dad behavior. That just means he's-star i mean that's that's like one that's dad behavior
that just means he's fertile it means he's ready yeah he's ready dude i am i'm in my dad phase i
watch documentaries i fucking watch chart videos i bet your boys are plump and i got plump boys
and i'm fucking it's great i got a look now i'm gonna just dress like this all the time i don't
like that this is miles's shirt no you know i don't know that you know i thought about this
recently you have you have a you have a best look that you've done.
You mean I've peaked?
You have a look that I think was your best look.
Ooh, let's see if we agree here.
It's not a peak.
It's just this is how you achieve your true potential.
What would you say?
I think your best look was Ludwig's birthday dinner.
Really?
By far. This was's birthday dinner. Really? By far.
This was my top two.
Really?
You had the open button down with the rose tinted shades.
Oh, true.
Yeah, you looked good.
Yeah, my ex-girlfriend dressed me is why.
You looked fucking sick.
That's why.
Italy Slav was also great.
I liked Slav status.
It's too funny.
I don't think, it's like more of a bit than like a look.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess I don't think, it's like more, it's more of a bit than like a look. Yeah, I don't know.
I fucking,
I guess I don't care enough.
Think that look?
When I worked at BTS,
it was lights out
because I,
it was like you could wear
whatever you wanted.
So I would just,
dude, there's a picture.
Have you seen this?
I think I showed Ludwig.
It's Dan and me
and it's at my old desk,
standing,
my old standing desk,
which was just like
a bunch of things
piled up to make it taller.
You used to have a desk that was made of cardboard boxes.
Yeah.
Cause I wanted to stand and Dan's next to me and he's like, he's like touching his nipples
and I'm standing there and I got like my shit hair and I got like my gut out.
And it's like, I, it's, I think like Dakota took the picture, dude, I look fat.
It's the worst I've ever looked in my, in my life. And that's what I I think like Dakota took the picture. Dude, I look fat.
It's the worst I've ever looked in my life.
And that's what I look like sometimes.
And I'm like, damn, I have definitely had sex before.
That's crazy.
I think the other look I was thinking of is when you rock the,
when you have the aviators and that jean jacket with the.
Yeah, the little mink, the fake.
It's like fake mink.
Yeah, everything is from my ex-girlfriend that she bought me.
Yeah, all great stuff.
I can't dress myself.
That's how it works.
I have Prezzo lore.
I learned Prezzo lore
because I hung out with Phil.
Yeah, Soup Ostrich was there.
Like a lot.
Crazy crossover.
Okay, so speaking of...
Very, very funny thing on Sunday
is Polite...
We went and got basically like like a mogul moves dinner like all of the full-time employees that were
there which was a lot it was like most of the company yeah gang rules deep went out to uh dinner
on saturday night and uh polite and rad stads and shake Shake were talking about how tomorrow morning,
Soup Ostrich, Phil, is going to take them out shopping
because Phil is just a fashion savant.
A stylist.
Yeah, and literally wants to work in the fashion industry.
He's a fit-em girl.
We come out of Top 8 because we hadn't seen them yet,
and they're all fitted as fuck.
They all look so good.
That's great.
And I'm like, damn, they look so much better.
This is the matching red Nikes.
Than they did yesterday.
I was like, you all look so amazing right now.
Really?
And then I remembered that Phil like handcrafted outfits for them all.
Wow.
And it all made a lot more sense.
So the Mogul Moves boys all got dripped out by Soup Ostrich.
And the reason for Phil, the reason me and Phil gravitated towards each other is because of prezzo we both because we both love prezzo boss has been a melee like uh twitch
monster for a long time yeah that's how i know this person i learned so much about him and how
much twitch watches which is so much and uh i was like how do you meet prezzo and uh so phil was
telling me that you know how prezzo has the deer profile picture? Yeah. The reason Prezzo has that profile picture is because when Phil met Prezzo,
Phil was like, oh, this is like, Prezzo is like cute.
I want to be friends with this person.
And was talking to him and said, hey, why do you look so bad in your profile picture?
And Prezzo got so self-conscious about the profile picture of his face that he changed it.
And that was where the deer was born.
That's so sad.
Was hiding his face.
Because Phil cyberbullied it.
The deer is a mask.
The deer hides how he feels.
It's a dream mask.
The headlights are Phil's hurtful words.
And I was like, that's fucked up.
What you said is fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I learned that lore.
Well, I remember when I said, when I didn't like Prezzo,
because he was always mean to Ludwig in chat, I hated him.
I was like, this guy's a dick.
I didn't know Prezzo was a jokester.
I was trying to tell you.
Yeah, and then I said that during the sub-a-thon.
I said it when we were in the kitchen streaming.
I was like, fuck you, Prezzo.
Do not talk to me.
You're fucking mean to Ludwig.
I do not like you.
It really hurt him.
And then I was like oh no wait
a minute and then and then i found out that prez was a delight and that's called character growth
for you or him him right no of course yeah because you maxed me and phil the reason i was so tired
today is uh me and phil all nightered we just like hung out all night and then uh we got coffee
in the morning so late i came back so
late and you guys were up talking and then i it's like 5 30 when i get back to the room i immediately
go back to bed and then i wake up two hours later at like 7 30 to go to bed to go to the bathroom
they're still up talking you're still having like the same conversation we got coffee that's crazy
it was seven uh but anyway i went to bed when i got home
i went like i took a nap when i got back um but i asked phil because we were talking so much about
like fashion stuff i was like so what do you think what are your notes on me because you keep pulling
out you keep saying what you thought about everyone you saw you obviously form an opinion about me
like what are your and like i didn't look i wasn't putting in like that much effort janice
is like coming with a nice yeah like or something i'll be comfortable and phil was like you're safe that's right safe and i was like that's right that's why you were all
black but i was like that's why we're black you know what you're doing you are safe i'm like
you've never worn a color in your life except shorts that one time i'm like i'm like i'll go
try to feel bad i'll go try yeah yeah you're juky a little bit. I feel bad. I would go try.
Yeah.
You're going to have to throw out all your black clothes.
You got to be bold.
You got to wear something you care about.
The mook.
That's what I'm talking about.
That shirt was made by E-Tossed, by the way, who I met for the first time because he came up to me and he was the world's drunkest man.
Yeah.
He came up to me.
There was a carnival barker just pointing at him, charging you money. He actually came up to me there was a carnival barker just pointing at him charging you money
he actually came up it's been three years so etos talks pretty quickly yeah people who know him know
this and uh comes up and puts his hand on my shoulder and actually goes and i was like i start
i start busting up laughing because i I'm like, dude, holy shit.
You're a sim.
And I look at him and I say, I've never met someone as drunk as you ever.
You are the most drunk person I have ever seen.
Even Eric?
It was fucked.
Eric was drunk too.
He was fucked up.
That's crazy.
And I was like, I just started laughing.
And I'm like, holy shit, you are the drunkest person ever.
And he's trying to like, he keeps telling me to shut up.
Because I'm.
He's right.
But he can't form words. Duh, duh. can't get anything worse and i'm just laughing and running
away from him because i'm scared he tossed the biggest grinder for uh mogul money yeah he did
write a lot of the questions a lot of them were dog shit yeah but he tries a lot he tries harder
than anyone i know and that's beautiful sometimes i put some in even though i'm like it's not the greatest he tossed but you try you have to explain
to pokeman look he tried really hard so that's why we're doing a category on words that have come
but also piss but sorry go ahead i was just gonna say i like the initiative you took because he had
this idea on saturday after jmook beat laud he was like dude what if like what if i got a bunch of blank t-shirts and and made like a bunch of
t-shirts for everybody i was just like yeah that would be sick just like that you got a free shirt
dude i uh no he made like i think it's cool that he took the time to fucking make like you pay him
you pay him for his work you exploit him yeah exploit you would have loved me in college
because i would i would buy blank white hats and then write on them with marker and just write things.
And I had one of them said horse party.
And these girls in my class for my final paper where we peer reviewed each other's research papers,
they all drew different variations of what they thought a horse party was on my paper.
That's cute.
It was very cute, yeah.
I was a hit.
I forgot about this.
I got stun locked by a French melee player.
I was at the venue at 4 a.m.
Hate to see that.
Not on the setup.
Was it Raul?
Long hair?
No, no, no.
It wasn't Raul.
I didn't recognize him.
You play like a pussy.
And I'm on a setup and I'm playing Peach versus someone who's like a yard listener.
And a person comes up and doesn't really speak any english besides
like melee stuff um and so uh they sat down and uh they like they're on roll and they plug in
and then i beat the person i go to play this person and i switch to falco because they're
marth i don't want to play peach more and uh he looks over at me and he goes peach he points the
screen goes peach and i'm like oh i i play falco too like i talk to my main
character and uh he looks back at me and he like shakes his head and looks back at the screen i was
like okay play the game win the game go back on the rotation come back and he goes peach now
and i was like oh okay i switched to peach and i just like the other guy was like uh i just played
the french player with peach Marth for like an hour
yeah he forced you
into this
he just forced me
into it
I just stuck there
I'm like oh
was he mad
I don't think so
were you winning
I just think
yeah I didn't lose
that's why
Europeans just get
to the point
they know what they want
but I just think
he didn't have
like the words
to say that he
wanted me to play
Peach
he wanted to practice
that's probably
why he sat down
but it was funny
because it came off
as very cold
because all he could tell me was Peach and a point yeah he could just demand it demand what he wanted me to. That's probably why he sat down. Yeah. But it was funny because it came off as very cold because all he could tell me
was peach and a point.
Yeah, he could just demand it
like a child.
Demand what he wanted me to do.
What does peach mean in French?
Like, actually, pussy.
Could you tell the difference
between a French person
and a Quebecois?
I could.
Like, is that from someone from Canada?
Yeah.
Or from Quebec?
Maybe.
No, it's actually the serpent god
that he adds text.
I don't know if i could pinpoint like
right now we should do that that's a lot of video put them but it's it's in the dark wait why and
you have to feel their bodies yeah see which one has more slime and sweat and then you like grab
their penis and they're like oh and you're like french yeah where's the question come from and
you grab the cabasagua it's like dude dude dude dude dude i was because i you were saying he's
french and i just didn't know if he's French or Quebecois.
No, he said, I'm from France.
He said, I'm French.
He explained why he wasn't speaking any English.
It's always 50-50 there.
By the way,
I want to bring this up.
I told RadSads,
let's steal from Limus Tech Tips.
Let's do really long clips.
Their clips are like 13 minutes,
and they pop off pretty well.
So Ratshead started doing longer segments
where we have whole things,
and one of them was the shotgun story,
where you took shotgun from Ludwig.
It was crazy, and I rewatched it.
I watched it as content, and I was like,
man, this guy sucks.
I can't believe he did that to that guy
and then i was like it was nice to see it as a viewer would so many of those comments were like
these grown men calling shotgun oh also someone was like nick nick always has to lie about stories
and i actually respond to that i'm like you're so fucking stupid anyway so i'm bringing that up
because it's a segue into luke from linus Tech Tips by the way I've been watching fucking tech videos
since before you were out of
high school really yeah that's how
cool I am difference between floppy disk
speeds I've been watching I've been watching
Linus for a long time that's great one of my favorite
videos is making a computer
not a room size it's about a graphics
card so they've just announced the
the 4 gigabyte SDXC
card okay I'm not I'm not kidding the new Xerox computer Without a graphics card. So they've just announced the 4 gigabyte SDXC card.
Okay, I'm not kidding.
The new Xerox computer.
The hard drive on our home computer when I was like 8 was 12 gigabytes.
Isn't that crazy?
How to clean your rollerball on your mouse.
Dude, I did have to do that.
I'm not kidding.
No, because it...
So it's like there's four rollers and one line of dust gets in there.
And you got to scrape it.
That's really satisfying.
I had to do it too.
Yeah, I did.
All right.
So Luke, who used to be on a lot of Linus videos, now he kind of does his own thing, but he does a podcast with Linus.
I don't really know how it works.
I tweeted out back in 2017, I'm not gay, but I'd let Luke and Linus from Linus tech tips double t me on the roof of a someone tweets
that out right now about me and you do you ban them uh yeah think about that yeah i do i do think
about that i'm different now but either way luke messages me out of the blue this is a guy i've
watched on youtube for like a long time i tweeted that thing and he said it was just randomly uh he said slimes top 10 salty
ice climber moments was my favorite video of 2021 for real though and then he said the sheer
ironclad determination to troll on that level is truly remarkable a hero of our time i immediately
because our friend jerry who used to to a tournament in uh 80. He's in his WoW guild. He's in Luke's WoW guild.
So shit all comes together.
I said, did Jerry put you up to this?
He said, no.
I had no idea you watch until your recent tweets.
And he's talking about the barn one
because I retweeted it.
Here it is.
I'm not Gabe, but Linus Luke can double team me
on the roof of a barn.
I love how he reads this
and he thinks to himself, oh, slime watches.
And then he said, the barn one is beautiful.
I sent it to Linus.
And I said, Ellen, no, not the barn.
And then I had a moment of reflection.
I said, I guess this is what I wanted to happen.
Yeah.
Right?
You want the attention.
When you wanted him to fuck you, you actually just wanted him to notice you.
I just wanted attention.
But you just wanted him to give you attention.
Yeah.
Oh, hello.
Spam.
Large spam man.
Don't say that.
Bullish spam lord.
I just gave you love.
Gonna go eat more spam out of the trough.
If you were broken, I would crack you.
But he said, I said, nice to meet you.
And he said, I was considering telling you to pick a barn on the WAN show, which is their podcast.
So imagine he like turns to the camera. He's like, by the way telling you to pick a barn on the WAN show, which is their podcast. So imagine he like turns to the camera.
He's like, by the way, slime, pick a barn.
Because he showed it to Linus, who I've been watching for 10 years and also like has laughed at this, which is crazy to me.
Anyway, this is a bit of like slime realizing that he's a bit of a larger bear.
Go on their podcasts.
I don't think that'd be very fun.
Come on, kiddo.
You don't think you can keep up?
Oh, I can keep up.
You can talk shop.
Oh, I can keep up. I don't think you'd understand processors fun. Come on, kiddo. You don't think you can keep up? Oh, I can keep up. You can talk shop. Oh, I can keep up.
I don't think you'd understand processors like that, maybe.
Is that the problem?
I think, well, I learned everything from him.
They're laughing at him for not knowing enough.
Oh, my God.
You're still watching those?
You think the AMD i7 gets that much FPS?
AMD i7?
I know.
I fucking know.
I'm just saying.
It's just crazy to say that.
No, it's not crazy to say that.
I know.
It's not a graphics card.
It's two processors.
AMD's are graphics cards. Oh, AMD's are
manufacturers.
AMD's are so cringy.
God, it's so cringy.
Wait, no.
AMD's are processors too.
Wait, i7's
AMD's are manufacturers
both processors
and graphics cards.
I think you are dumb, bro.
I hope you die.
I hope you eat
out of the trough forever
and then you die
from getting too fat
out of the trough.
This is for you, bro. Oh! She on mike's not even gonna pick that one up probably correct you can add it in post rg you're gonna you're gonna want to boost the audio i had
hangover for today i just i could have weaponized that i just farted and turned it name's direction
he goes dude i i love the fucking okay i love this dusty grandma
it's like i'm my i'm mango and i'm watching two two shitters this is go at it warfare
god mango's fucking dj bro yeah hung out with him for like whole day yesterday probably 12 hours
first of all he's an anxious flyer i was making him stress really yeah because it was our flights
at like 120 or something like that or like one 30.
And,
and,
uh, and I was like,
yeah,
we can get to the airport at like,
you know,
1230,
like an hour before it's like,
no,
like I'd like to get there before and sit down and have like a nice meal.
I'm like,
bro,
just you go to get to the game.
He likes to go to the bar.
Yeah.
So I was stressing him out,
but we do the whole thing.
He,
we picked up a 12 pack of Michelob ultra.
I,
I, I cleaned off i polished
off four he drank eight and then had i kid you not 15 vodka sodas yeah he had a lot of those
he was he was complimenting my poor all night and then i ran out of ice that's how much he had
i poured him one without ice he's like what is this yeah we didn't run out of ice in the machine
that makes it in the fridge and i but i was like what do you want from me and i just gave him a bottle at that point and you know what he seemed
well put together yeah he was great that's crazy dude he came i was laying down upstairs because i
can't be mobile and he's like what's up what are you doing and he's like i just we start talking
and he comes into my room and just sits on my bed and it reminded me of that video it's just called
bear sits next to guy yeah and because he's just
sitting there with a beer in his hand we're just like talking and i'm like this is nice like
mangoes like the grizzly bear yeah i love that video um and yeah it was fun it was nice hang
out cassidy too yeah this is it oh he's so cute that's terrifying this video is 62 million views
yeah that's good this is like good fucking anyone 62 million views. Yeah, that's good.
This is like good fucking anyone who can enjoy this.
Look at him.
He's a kid man.
Dude, that bear is huge.
Bears can fuck you up.
He's a kid man.
His face is giant.
Look at his nose.
I would be so fucking scared.
He's like a dog.
And his little ears.
Bigger.
Are you guys team bear or gorilla?
I don't want to choose.
Oh, like for a fight?
Yeah.
The bear definitely wins.
I think the gorilla.
The gorilla has wits. Oh my gosh. I don't know my answer. Oh, like for a fight? Yeah. The bear definitely wins. I think the gorilla. The gorilla has wits.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know my answer.
I'm team bear.
Why am I not in tune with myself?
The bear is so much bigger than the gorilla.
It is bigger.
Well, is it one of those bears?
Like a big ass grizzly bear?
We're talking grizzly.
I was assuming that type.
Wait, are we going the biggest gorilla versus the biggest bear?
I think if the gorilla can punch the bear in the face hard enough, it kills it with
its fucking man face.
I think it's got to be bear.
Bear, bear, and have claws.
Do you actually think a gorilla can punch out?
Dude, chimps are so much stronger than you'll ever be.
Imagine a gorilla.
I'm a human.
Yep, imagine a bear.
I'm saying, like, gorillas are...
Bears have claws.
Yeah, but you can just dodge those.
Bears have claws.
Yeah, but you can just dodge those.
In Slime's universe,
it is a fight where the gorilla dodges a claw and then one hit punches.
Have you ever seen gorillas
look around like us?
It's like a Pokemon fight from the anime
where somebody just needs to yell,
dodge that gorilla!
And then Pikachu just goes to the side.
Believe!
I have this bit.
We were hanging out on the discord the other night i was just fucking i could not get this this out because it was so funny to me but i've
been listening to grant mcdonald a lot because he has he's been putting out a lot of like pro
ukrainian anti-putin songs grant mcdonald the guy who did ram ranch and so a lot of them are like
yeah putin fucking piece of shit you dictate with hate fucking homophobic church and there's like a
random downloaded instrumental yeah download instrumental and the sounds of two men having
sex in you know and this is all overlaid in like probably one single track yeah and um and so i
was running this bit where i was like yeah cypher yeah
fucking cypher taking fucking nasty pictures with your fucking camera that's great i could not say
that line because i was just laughing so hard you and your grape head yeah fucking grape head
yeah yeah brim long dick brim that's great oh man i don't know if it was like just 4 a.m discord vibes or uh
or it was truly truly goaded but you kept it going the next day i still thought it was funny
does he does he one take jake you think i don't know is there a lot that goes in his craft i think
he recorded all of these 17 years ago i think he got into it even the ukraine. Yeah, he knew. He has one for every conflict between every country.
He had the up on, he was listening to that like Putin speech to the German assembly in
like 2003.
Yeah.
And he's like, this guy's going to fuck it up.
Yeah.
This is going to get weird.
I think it's just like, it's like drinking out of cups.
The video with the lizard where he's just talking about nonsense.
Yeah.
And because the lore behind that video is he's just scrolling TV and just talking about
what he sees.
Graham McDonald just like, I don't know, turns on his Twitter or something and just scrolls
and just says stuff for like four and a half hours.
Well, he just says like four lines and then repeats them and then adds reverb.
Yeah.
And then it's a 13 minute track.
It's like Apple Daily Mail updates.
It just like riffs off it.
There's also halifax
fuck pig sean which i believe is ben's favorite album because you know halifax what is mogul
christmas oh dude dude i had a moment i'm going dude i might maybe i like accidentally ate some
of that the hormone chicken that i had at genesis years ago that made me cry it gave you
boobs gave me boobs because i'm driving in my car and uh i i'm pulling out of like the the spot and
i'm like picking music to play and i had um because i listened to wendy from red velvet saying all i
want for christmas is you right and i was like oh i want to listen to the ludwig version because
it's a good version right and so i turn
it on and don't tell me you sang along no well the first part but i i started listening to this
in the car my friend ludwig singing christmas songs and then i start thinking about this in
the context of if ludwig is dead and this is like how i'm remembering him and i started getting really emotional i don't
know because i was just so i was so happy that this existed i was like this is so funny and he's
like singing pretty well and i remember asking xx when this came out i was like dude can ludwig
really fucking sing or is he capping and xx was like ludwig sings with confidence and usually
that's all you need and i was like okay
and you're getting emotional listening to me saying and i'm just listening to this yeah and
i'm thinking of like yeah ludwig like dies and it's like six months later and like this comes
up on my playlist and i'm just in the car i'm just like breaking down this is all we have i can't
wait ignoring ignoring work related things if me or you one of us died which one of them would care
less uh ludwig you know what we care less yeah a one of them would care less? Ludwig. You think Ludwig would care less?
Yeah, Ludwig cares less. He doesn't have
the capacity. You don't think Aiden would be like,
yeah, you know, death's just like
a normal part of life and it sucks, but... You know what?
He would talk, he would walk back a lot of shit
where he was like, yeah, you're dead. It doesn't matter
because someone would talk shit on me and then he'd get
mad about it. I think I would be...
Actually, I don't know. He wouldn't.
Because if you wouldn't, then that's fucking crazy. know you wouldn't because if you wouldn't then that's
fucking crazy if you wouldn't defend my fucking corpse you've put me a weird spot yeah i fucking
know i don't think just be honest i don't think anything i've said before stands in opposition
to me defend my legacy aiden yeah but it's me who's dead no that's what i'm saying is i don't
think that anything i don't think anything that I have said is in opposition
to me defending you
after you died.
There's no question to answer.
You're posturing this like it's a clash
in my internal values.
I would defend you.
I would defend you.
I defended you last week while you were alive.
That doesn't count.
I would only defend you when you die.'s that's that good side all right that's honor both of you i wait for you to die and that's
you die he looks at tycoon oh and he's like he was i died a little bit he's like yeah fucking bummer
yeah exactly nick dies okay i'm sad first thing for first person i call is carl jacobs and i say
i love that man and he's dead carl nick the only
man i've ever loved nick dies and you're like i guess i just gotta climb with a track now
well you just like i was gonna ask him to climb today
that'd be hard bro so go ludwig would be sad but he can't he doesn't have the ram he only has so
much you explained this you you talked about this a few months ago
if nick died you wouldn't you said you wouldn't climb you feel like you wouldn't want to climb
for three days but if it actually happened it'd probably be more like a week that's what you said
that you said those words to him i couldn't even rock climb for a week yeah that's so that's so sad for at least a week yeah we talked about it that would suck for him
i was kidding when i brought all this up i feel bad yeah it was one week yeah i'm back in honestly
at least when the call-ins happened none of you were killed off i did ask a lot more people who
they'd kill off it was a lot lot of AIDS. Overwhelmingly.
A lot of AIDS. That's okay. You asked that
live at the venue? Yeah, that's right.
Tween.
Fucking look up
from your slop.
Look it up with slop coming out of your
Yeah, Ludwig. Big slop
Ludwig. Big sloppy.
Getting fucked at the Genesis venue.
Come a-flowing. Come a-flowing. Come a-flowing. big sloppy getting fucked at the genesis venue come a flowing come a flowing come a flowing
that's what i did in the in the spirit of grant mcdonald of course
yeah no no look uh i i think all jokes aside we we would all be devastated uh but yeah
why is that funny why is that funny? Why is that funny?
Yeah.
No, sorry.
Why is that funny?
This is the first time I've ever been genuinely confused about why someone's laughing.
Anybody got juice for the primo?
Any primo juice?
We're not.
Did you?
He's memeing, right?
Yeah.
We're at 90.
Are we?
Dude, we're at 90.
I meant so because we talked about doing the Prima tomorrow already.
Dude, like a teaser like we always do.
Oh, that was your shitty teaser.
Oh, your shitty little teaser.
I'm asking you if you guys have any juice.
Your shitty little bait teaser bait.
That's why people, if they wish that one of us was to perish from this earth, of the four of us, heavity juice. Your shitty little bait teaser bait. Oh.
That's why people, if they wish that one of us was to perish from this earth, of the four of us, it'd be you.
Oh.
All right.
Here is the, here's what we're going to do.
Tell me the tea, sweet sister, wife.
If we have, how many Patreons do we have right now?
We have like a little over 20,000.
What's the exact?
I want to see this exact number, zipper. 20 25 97 because if we record next monday at exactly this time and we have
20 in the 212 what's a good number two zero three zero zero patrons what does that mean if we have exactly
two twenty thousand three hundred patrons next week no no you're incentivizing people to
unsubscribe yes we make enough we do what do you i always say that and i'm satisfied
i just want you to know that that's what you're saying. That's alright.
Okay.
Fuck if I care.
Right.
Then I will give one random patron $100.
Wow.
That's crazy. If we grow less than usual this week.
Yeah.
What a shit.
Wow.
That was shit.
That was a shame, man.
Let me understand.
So if we lose money, you'll lose more money.
Yeah.
Got it.
Okay, we're all on the same page.
You guys still want more?
Is that what you guys want?
Come join the Patreon.
Let's make more money, guys.
We're fine.
What do you mean?
We're there.
We have a bonus episode every week.
It's going to be, we're going to do it.
There's going to be a bonus episode if you want to listen another hour.
We need more money.
Funneled in.
Yeah, and we went to Genesis, so we're behind on the advice show And the decom show so we gotta double that up
And we're not fulfilling and give us more money
Let's fuck up
Yeah let's do both
Final word
You know Sycuno
You've heard of him
He posted a picture of
His sleeping arrangement for
Coachella
Valley and it's a closet
and I looked at that and I said holy shit
we are the same
this whole time
when I meet him it's gonna be electric
it's gonna be fireworks
and on that note
I'm gonna be so smooth and greasy
for you
and on that note
see you guys in the Patreon episode
thanks for watching the yard
goodbye now