The Yard - Ep. 42 - Ludwig Admits to Cheating in Among Us
Episode Date: April 27, 2022CHEATER!!!!! This week, the boys talk Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard, EE cheats in OTK Skooled, and Ludwig admits to cheating during his rise playing Among Us....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, Mrs. Money.
Hello, Mrs. Money.
You've never seen that movie, hell have you.
I Love You Man.
I've seen I Love You Man.
It's me and Ludwig's movie.
We've talked about this. It was the big point of contention because I didn't like it. Lunch is on a menji. I've seen I Love You Man. It's me and Ludwig's movie. We've talked about this.
It was the big point of contention
because I didn't like it.
Lunch is on a menji.
I didn't find it funny.
Wait, what movie?
Every scene in that film is funny.
How many times have you seen it?
Once.
So maybe watch it again.
When did you watch it?
How old were you?
I watched I Love You Man when I was 20.
You're an adult.
Two?
Adult man.
22.
I will say it doesn't hit
until like the fifth watch and then you really start to... I liked it onman. 22. I will say it doesn't hit until like the fifth watch.
And then you really start to.
I liked it on the first watch.
Like you like it, but then like you start doing the lines.
What was the first color movie?
I would drain.
2011.
I would.
Or 2009, I think.
I would drain Paul Rudd of all of his liquids.
Well, that we all agree on.
Was it after Role Models?
Hold on.
Yeah.
Role Models was 2008.
Paul Rudd is the most, I think, sexually attractive Avenger.
Oh.
What?
That's what you want to talk about on the podcast?
What about Chris Evans?
What are you talking about?
What do you think we talk about on the podcast?
The sexually...
This is...
This is over.
Not 40 episodes ago, I was bullied for talking about the Avengers, and now here we are.
You have never brought up such a hot,
good topic. This is about which Avengers
would make you quiver.
Yeah, exactly.
You just want to talk about, I think you're fitting.
Elon Musk bought Twitter.
I actually met an Uber driver today.
That's what you wanted to bring up. I don't even care about
Elon Musk buying Twitter. That's where I'm at.
He's different now, but he's way cool. I'm glasses
Ludwig. He's that cool? Yo, Ludwig.
Ludwig. Well, that sounds like I give
people polo's. Hey, I got my chair back. You did get
your chair back? Dude, yes. I got it back. How much did it
cost to fix it? It was a hundred
dollars for a welder to
weld it back. Guys, that's how much
he f***ing liked the chair. Wait, you got a welder?
Yeah. And they came here and welded? No, I went
to where they weld. Wow. That's how
much he liked the chair. When it broke, he was bummed.
I was so sad.
Did they tell you that your fat ass will break it again
so there's no point in welding?
Did they tell you that you're a stinky slop boy?
Did you tell them that you've broken two chairs
over the course of the podcast already?
Did you make sure you said that right?
We haven't even done it that long.
It's an issue.
You're the fat guy now.
No, it's not at all what they said.
So actually what happened was
he actually
made a note it was that he was like yeah so basically anyone 160 or over just like be
careful sitting down in it too fast because the well that's like about you know where the line
is drawn so zero to 160 and i recently fell under it 160 no okay did he actually say 160 yes on the
dot wow i did check i'll have to worry i checked him today He's 159.9 You were crying
And crying Brian
About your fucking weight
No it's
I'm actually good
You were crying Sheckler
Over there bro
You were like oh no
I thought I was oh no
The rumors are true
What happened at Genesis
Was true
That he's
Trapped in a pen
About the slop
That he's a stinky too
Yeah you're a hot stinky too
That's why I'm wearing
This shirt today
Cause you're hiding it
Can't count on you guys It's fucked up that you have all the best buds shirts but you
only wear the one where they're both you wait no he doesn't have this one oh you only have one for
you i gave you guys for the lore lore masters dude someone on the subreddit was like where
does anders come from and i i actually got downvoted i responded and got downvoted on your
yard yeah because i was like like sometimes
you just call your friends stuff not everything has to be a lore dive which i believe because
i'll get that in like stream chat a lot it's like what's the lore behind like big tobacco
like what's the lore like what's the story there's got to be a story tell me what's marble about it
just pisses me off but it's like it's ultimately harmless so i'm not whatever even though i got
rightfully downvoted which is great i love i love the bite back but i will say here's some good lore
i in my opinion ludwig for audio listeners wearing a a sweater which is it's best buds it's two
cartoon like drawn characters it looks like um what canadians look like in south park exactly
terence and philip and uh it's it's it's best buds but it's two Ludwigs and he got us
all
well not all
he got a few
of his friends
Aiden's the only one
he got a few
of his friends
it's actually
everyone
you guys
Atriox, Stans
I wasn't there
Connery, Spence
Ben
yeah
Carl Jacobs got his
Carl Jacobs got his
you didn't even know
Carl Jacobs back then
yeah
I just knew his comment UPS driver came by a lot and Jacobs got his. You didn't even know Carl Jacobs back then. Yeah, I just knew his comment.
UPS driver came by a lot and he was Greg.
Carl wasn't even famous back then.
He was a good guy.
Mary, obviously.
Yeah, her accountant.
So he got us all these and he got them for Christmas for us.
And the ones I got for you guys, it was your face and my face.
And then it said Best Buds.
But the difference is that it's like a soft cotton like haynes like shit ball gildan it's a haynes long
sleeve t and so and so and so he got he got himself this fucking champion hoodie champion
that's still it still fucking holds up are you mad and your guys's are shitty yeah no they're
regular long sleeve t's he got himself a shitty one no shittier than the quality of the t-shirt he's wearing right now you just got a different one that's a higher
quality that's the weird part i never thought about the quality actually thank you it's just
different that's all i'm saying about it now himself a different higher quality thing yeah
treat yourself for himself yeah that's the weird part you didn't even get weird as a gift is it
weirder that happened or is it weird that you guys got me zero gifts that Christmas
and you're kvetching at me?
Oh, that sucks. No, it makes sense because
we both didn't get each other a gift.
Huh? We both didn't get each other a gift. I didn't
know you and I wish that was still the case.
Anyway, they didn't get me any
gifts. Thanks for saying that. I bought you a gift and you bought the gift
for yourself. You keep bringing up how low the quality is.
No, no, no. Here's why he didn't get you a gift is because you
left Mario Party on the floor. Dude, I'm going to send something
to Archie. Okay. I have a picture
of that shirt. The long
sleeve tee. Don't do this. Yeah, I'm sorry
I cleared it out because of my
father died. No, it was before
that.
Don't start weaponizing that.
Why not? I can't. I don't like
that. No, why not?
There's the two alive parents
pussy i thought it was cool i'm my man i thought you were cool i'm my man you can put picture on
screen but my shirt that i gave him was under the chair here's what really happened is because it
was it was in my uh it was in the back of my car and i had a bunch of shit in the back of my car
that was just like collected in there i actually brought it for the shoot it's crazy you know and
you still say hold on hold on that's fucked shut the fuck up you're not allowed
to care let me finish or i'm gonna kill myself go on let's keep going does someone have anything
and so and so the the what happened was that i had to dump out my car because we had to fill it
with something for work like we had to like put like we need space in my car real quick and i'm like i got it i got it and i dumped out all the
shit in my car everything that's in there including that shirt and had to fill it up with like gear or
something and it just remained there along with all the other shit so it wasn't like a i was
fuck ludwig i hate you god damn it i know mine is it was just i had to fucking put it out my
cloth you know whatever you'll never wear it till die, but I'm glad you know where it is.
No, that's not true.
It's just not your style.
Well, I used to wear it all the time.
He actually did.
Yeah, but like now he's dripped out.
What was he not before?
You stole his swag before.
He got better.
I did get better.
Yeah.
Anyway, you're not getting one.
You're definitely not.
Welcome to the yard.
Welcome to the yard.
How's it going, everybody? That's a late one. Episode 40. That's a late one. You're definitely not. Welcome back to the yard. Welcome to the yard. How's it going, everybody?
That's a late one.
Episode 40.
That's a late one.
40?
Why are the numbers continually getting smaller in the corner?
What are you talking about?
Yeah, thumbnail guy.
Thumbnail episode numbers are getting smaller.
Oh, you've noticed that.
Yeah.
Yeah, thumbnail guy.
There's just certain thumbnails that have gotten smaller and then back to going bigger.
Big hard cock thumbnail guy.
Do you want the answer or you wanted to say that?
That triggered me.
Okay.
Sometimes it just covers a certain part of the thumbnail in a way that I think makes it hard to read.
Like maybe there's a mountain in the background, but the number's so big you can't tell.
You're gaslighting me.
It's progressively getting smaller.
No, it's definitely gotten smaller and bigger.
Yeah.
Has it?
Yeah.
I scale it based on what the background is.
Here's a question. Do you think it's important to even have who care i think it's important so you can
know chronologically like if you just see one in the related bar like where it sort of sits it is
not important but it is helpful to some people like i don't think it changes the view count of
the video at all that's what i uh you know how the numbers disappeared on apple podcast
and i saw that and i was kind of like i fixed i think i might like that better i think no numbers
is fine i don't think you want numbers i think numbers are really bad well i think a little a
little guy in the corner thumbnail is fine yeah i just think the thumb bow is different look we're
about the meta now uh-huh you know we're trying to get clicks. Aiden's a fucking goddamn content creator now.
Can I tell you guys
what fucking...
I think you guys
just swayed me,
by the way.
I think I don't care
about numbers anymore.
I think I've carried it
until now.
That's crazy.
Imagine Nick
admitting he was wrong
live.
I do all the time.
That was so cool of him.
You've never done that.
What are you talking about?
I think he's done that
on this show.
You're doing it right now.
I've never done it.
It's fucked up. I can't say you're right's done that on this show. You're doing right now. I've never done it. It's fucked up.
I can't say you're right or I can't do it.
I'm stuck.
Stop.
Because if I disagree with you, it helps you.
Checkmate.
But if I agree with you, I'm.
God, I rule.
Well, God.
Yeah.
You put me in an infinite, dude.
All right.
Anyway.
Wait, real quick.
Aiden's a content creator, but also I wanted to.
Fuck.
I needed to be right so hard that i forgot what
i was gonna say that's crazy isn't it ironic you're a content creator welcome i am i hello
welcome brother you had you had someone edit a video of your live stream and what you played
no hold on don't make it sound like that you got a little you made a little video you made a little
video for your friends your little friends it's like a that. You made a little video? You made a little video for your friends? Your little friends?
Yeah, it's like a gay little video.
Make little videos online?
So people watch this, huh?
So how do I find it?
What do I type into the Google?
Yeah, what do I type?
Do you make money?
Do you type it into the text monitor?
It's not up on,
don't have my AdSense enabled or anything.
Don't really have to do that.
AdSense, what is that?
So you don't do it because you can't get money?
Or like, when does the money come? The money's not, I don't think it to do that you don't do it because you can't get money or like
when does the money come the money's not i don't think it's going to be modest i gotta email you
or something for this you can make a lot of money i've heard people make a lot that it's not really
liberals are ruining twitter i don't really want to yeah yeah and that's why i was happy when elon
bought it today is that what your video is about yeah it's about elon buying twitter and the
ramifications and liberals finally going down i do a case study on the myanmar genocide and say this is
what elon's going to do to another country in in a decade it's dark that's what i'm worried about
you have you know about that you have like graphics or is this you talking no this is just
me talking it starts out hello libs and the title is this is for libs to learn like prager what is it prager you prager you
that's some dark shit dude have you ever watched a prager you video they're they're actually insane
i don't even watch videos i sat down i was like because they kept they used to advertise them on
the front of youtube videos all the time they'd like push they'd push them uh as ads and i'm like
what the fuck is this why are these are always so weird
and you're talking about weird and right wing and i'm just trying to watch a youtube video about a
bear sitting next to a guy yeah western women don't have the the milkers that they used to
actually that's like a real prager you video basically someone's fucking saying it
thank god step up to the plate prager it's the most like psychotic youtube channel i have ever seen
it sounds like a steve brule character it's like i got dr prager on and he's gonna talk to me about
bears i love steve brule that was a bad rule but i'm a fan anyway so i'm a content creator that's
true and i made it and i made i'm gonna make a youtube video i got hit up by an editor who's
like hey i could edit down that stream for
you into a nice and neat you kind of rambled like a fucking insane guy i don't think it was i actually
think it was it was like sectioned and planned i like loosely scripted the whole thing i think it
had like a you didn't answer kyle's question what was kyle's question slime i didn't know i didn't
want to tell him what our friend kyle asked you in chat. Kyle asked in chat.
He was like, if you had two months,
do you think you could become a League of Legends LCS finalist?
Like, he just asked it in chat.
Did you answer the question?
And then a bunch of people at him.
It's like, what a dumb question.
Don't be talking about web wipe SSBM like that.
It's a great question.
I didn't answer it, but I hit him back.
I was like, well, I don't know if i could do that but i what what i really don't know is why you
coughed on those people at that tournament no don't do it dude i was i was just talking about
this because uh what is this so okay hold on so i wish you joined the boys is he a prager you
contributor no so there was a an old discord bit started by Elliot, a Canadian Falco.
Who now goes by The Weapon.
Who now goes by The Weapon.
This is the child.
Yeah.
Well, not anymore.
Smells like the Battle Pass.
Yeah.
What?
This shit looks like the Battle Pass.
What does that mean?
Looks like the Battle Pass. Still don't know what that means.
Okay.
Old, old, old.
So.
Wait, wait.
Elliot, really quick.
We met him at Genesis.
Or sorry, Big House like six, seven.
It was the one where we went with Miles.
And he was like at the time like 14. and he's really good at the game but at the time he wasn't better than
miles and he really liked bad melee the old podcast i had that miles was on as well and he
was like i want to money match you and miles beats him and then it was for five dollars and then to
teach elliot a lesson he ripped the five dollars in half in front of him there's a photo of elliot
like this and miles with the
money yeah and uh it was great but then uh elliot got really fucking good at melee yeah elliot is
amazing took a set off a wand he's beat my he's gonna listen he listens all the episodes don't
boost him up don't boost him up elliot sucks so uh so also also funny because they they all met
hbox or not hbox elliot at that tournament uh but uh elliot's
from my region and i met elliot uh when i was like when i was 17 and he was 10 yeah 2014 toing
right yeah and uh i went to a tournament in vancouver i wasn't toing but i was just there
for the day because i would drive to vancouver tournaments and he was there with his mom and his mom
didn't want to stay at the tournament the whole day.
So she asked me because I just like
seemed nice if I would babysit Elliot
for the day at the tournament. That's weird.
And I know Canadians, Canadians, Canadians.
He wasn't in Canada. Yeah, I was.
It was in Vancouver. Where the fuck have you been?
Canada.
And to this
day, there's the island Toronto where Drake's from, which is not part of Canada. Technically, it's like this day there's the
island Toronto where
Drake's from which is
not part of Canada
technically it's like
this it's like Dorn
in Game of Thrones
then there's Vancouver
which is the state
between Washington
and Vancouver and
then there's Canada
anyway so yeah and
maybe to this day I
have Elliot's mom's
phone number in my
contacts so do we all
so soiot was like
in the bad millie discord and he was but long story short he was just like yeah there's this
guy who was going around tournaments here coughing on people trying to get them covid
everyone's like he was really serious about it yeah really serious everyone's like wait what
and he's like yeah do you want to know who it is and they're like yeah and he's like yeah his name
is web wipe who is our friend yeah he's our friend who beats elliot who used to be la all the time but now
gets farmed by it was like a long like psyop or it's like because we didn't expect elliot to have
this sort of comedic sort of runway where he made this long joke and the conversation lasted like 10
minutes yeah before he finally like really farmed it out dude who's doing this and he's like so we we started sort of running this bit too or we would
like we would like in passing to random people like oh yeah there's that guy in canada he's
cough on people giving covid what's like yeah if you're to kyle like you know web wipe and they're
like wait i've heard that name it's like yeah so we kind of we would sometimes run that and
generally like i'm not gonna break like i'm gonna do that bit and then my head be dying laughing and then it's like how that guy believed that and not care uh but at
genesis this year genesis is a whole different thing now uh where it's like kind of uh a lot
most people know us so it's like you don't really meet a new person they haven't don't already have
some concept of who you are so we're in the four square line and i'm telling this i'm like pulling
this on someone telling them how kyle shields is a
is a bio weapon yeah and and they're like what no way and i'm like yeah it's just like this
canadian puff player but as i'm talking about it more and more people who like listen to the yard
or whatever start like crowding around like they're listening and they're all i'm like like
i'm like a prophet and they're all listening and they all believe me this is bad i was like this
is bad it's the second coming i was like this is really i'm like actually spreading fake news yeah so the
bit is spread too far i finally broke and i had to explain that i was good this is like when you
fucked up that girl's name in high school like you could have ruined his rep forever well i think
someone in like a melee chat was like wait didn't web like cough on people or something yeah and
we're like oh that was the problem where like the bit has like spread too far we need to like we Didn't Web I was in a position where I felt like I was actually ruining his life. That was a diaper man 420. That is as threatening of a rumor as Prezzo when he says random people did slurs and say slurs.
No, that's just when he does it.
It depends on the person, but I think it's really, really funny.
When he did it to me, it was threatening.
Why did you say that to him?
To you?
Okay, all right.
See?
No, because I...
Wait, that was a lie?
I was there.
I was in the aisle.
I was walking by.
You're trying to cover up, right? You just let it rip. I was in the aisle. I was walking by. You're trying to cover up.
And you just let it rip?
This obviously didn't happen.
Well, hold on.
Just say the word that you said to him.
Yeah, what was it?
Let me put the John Lennon glasses on.
Let me put the John Lennon glasses on for this one.
Who was in gay Paris?
Let me tell you about women.
Women are the prezzo of the world.
By John Lennon.
Dude, we were like, so he put on the John Lennon glasses earlier.
And I was like, did you know John Lennon made a song called Women are the N-word of the world?
And everyone's like, what?
I'm like, yeah, dude, look it up.
It's fucking crazy.
It's real.
And they're looking at it on their phones.
They're like, this is real.
I'm like, I know.
It's really weird.
Because that's a similar revelation to that time where you showed me
that in the 70s that was called ska yes you showed me that michael jackson music video
what's the scheme okay so listen to me i'm a huge michael jackson fan uh and i love jackson
five on michael jackson there's a song track uh called blame it on the boogie uh by the jackson
five now there's a music video, which is pretty normal.
It's like shot in like, it's like shot, you could
shoot this mini video today. But there
is a different music video. It's a live
version of Blame It On The Boogie where Michael Jackson
is on a ski mountain and he's
with a bunch of kids.
I think we talked about this.
You might be able to find it, Zipper. Oh, we did?
I think we talked about it like early. Oh, like ages ago.
He grinds on those kids
okay it's like and i showed i showed him and i was like anyone who thinks he didn't do it
show him this video probably did it i will say though thriller it's fucking great so it's like
i i have to live with this l of just really really digging michael jackson's music but also being
like oh yeah i fucking did that did that only one unproblematic king randy
newman the short people song nothing wrong with that that's an allegory it's also a literal thing
you know the song right no randy newman had a song called short people don't deserve rights no
it's no it's not no that's such a bad that wouldn't even sound it's called short people
got no reason to live oh yeah oh that's better
that's all right you have rights well i mean if that was a lie right yeah that one's fucking
true they have rights they should just be ready at any given time this is real right they got
little hands you're in trouble for you're in trouble for capping a lot you capped about
myth sucking his own dick little you did cap about that i don't know why you do this no no
he capped about the busting part yeah yeah yeah busting i misheard yeah but you said it so like definitively that's what i do that's what you do
you ruin this reputation do that a lot if we're talking about saying things that aren't true based
on wrong information you do that all the time a bunch of myth sponsors dropped him because of
that two two two things i don't do that as much anymore i try to be more careful when i'm like
i'm not sure but also only one of us can be that guy it's that part's true we cannot have two of those
guys okay yeah play off no because he'll never stop true yeah never stop stopping
the justin bieber story you can't be that guy why because i have too much audience
no because you have too many Your network is too
Too good
Too important
Oh and I
You can't afford to lose everybody
Break relationships off
Yeah
He can't
Myth was weirdly down
For me to have said that
Really?
He was fine with it?
He was like kind of laughing
He was like it's okay
That people think I came in my mouth
And I was like dude that's chill
That's a crazy sentence
To speak to me
Saint Jude won't work with him anymore
Oh shit
You guys are crazy
Elon Musk!
Is that the transition?
We just have to bring it up. We don't have to talk about it.
You're just farming mogul mail.
Okay, the only thing about this...
What's the scoop? Scoop?
I didn't believe you when you said this
because he already bought some of the
shares before, right? So I thought Lotte Week
was just being dumb. Yeah, he had like an 8%
share. 9%?
Yeah, 9% holding. But now he has goddamn 40 billion dollar valuation the company uh-huh whole goddamn thing he's the whole thing he's just bored he's like
bored and rich and he's done everything a rich guy in the world could ever do and he's like
oh i'm also not cool and my life sucks and i'm fucking 50. All the fucking captions on Twitter are going to be like, pick the cat meme.
Dude, click the funniest
number and it's just like
69. It's 420 or
it's 69. Guess what? Both are correct.
I can't believe he just spent
$44 billion. He got funding
from banks for $22.5 billion, I think.
It's just like
midlife crisis shit, but on a global
and just a global scale.
And it's really cringe.
The only dumb shit is people replying to this happening and going,
he could have stopped world hunger for just $7 billion.
Because I think that is full on cap.
I mean, it might be, but here's the thing.
I do think that going out on a limb to buy a website for the memes,
it's like, it would be cool
to do humanitarian shit, right?
No, it would be tight.
Instead, right? But people also hate
Bill Gates and he does that. I don't know.
Look, billionaires truly are oppressed.
What can we say? Amen.
Amen. They got it tough.
But either way, it's so fucking...
Every day, every day he's fucking
cringe and i can't handle his tweets are not funny he could he could have just not made a
twitter account and probably only had positive opinions about it yes for the most part because
he would have been the ethos of iron man boy forever the only people who would hate him are
people who hate billionaires right or the people that like worked with him and know that he's a
cunt sure but that's a lot of people that's so personal it's hard yeah it's hard to be like hey you know that guy elon musk that you. Sure. Which is a lot of people. That's so personal. That's so interpersonal.
Yeah.
It's hard to be like, hey, you know that guy Elon Musk that you don't really think about
a lot?
Here's what he did.
And it's like, oh, that's interesting.
You move on with your life.
But instead he's like fucking, oh God, it's so fucking gross, dude.
You're going to post a fucking like, like a rage comic next?
I'm tired of this shit.
I just want people to be funny.
That's all I fucking want.
And you fucking can't do it, dude.
The caption is going to be a rage comic all I fucking want and you fucking can't do it the capture is gonna be a rage comic
and you have to like build it
turn the face into a troll face and you have to drag the mouth
hey I got one thing to say
about this buyout
am I right
and then I shoot myself in the fucking head
it pisses me off so much
I had one
I felt legitimate concern when we brought this up this morning,
and I made a joke about it earlier, but it's actually not funny
when you think about potential consequences.
I don't know what he plans on doing with the site
or the level of influence he now has over things like moderation
in terms of service, but the Myanmar thinganmar thing is like facebook facebook basically like ran
rampant yeah you talk about this morning in in myanmar for a long time like years and facebook
was used to fuel like anti-muslim sentiment in myanmar and this resulted in in a genocide when
a lot of people like in the past like two, three years.
That's insane.
It's happened.
Like literally,
I think hundreds of thousands
of people were killed.
Can we verify this?
Very directly traced
to activity on Facebook.
How sure are you about this
and what's your source?
Very sure.
Before we start talking about
people being killed,
your source is?
Sources?
Trust me, bro.
I don't think
we should have sources.
Yeah, Rohingya. i think it's important the
source bro the people definitely did it okay this is great enough good enough okay proceed
yeah they sue me uh they sued they uh they sued facebook over this i don't know what the
layout of that lawsuit looks like but imagine going up against like like a nation under genocide
like in court it's like
yeah oh yeah we won that case and it was like uh so you're saying they died can you all can you
like prove yeah where are the dead people where they're not here they're not here to testify
that's like evil lizard shit like real evil that's what i'm saying and and elon is he's a lizard
and what if he changes the site because i think that's the
thing with global lizard i'm global what if he fucking you know fucking flicks his tongue on
the keys a couple times on april 1st everyone's profile picture will be doge so then oh yes
everyone in myanmar will be like no we're chill now that's funny that's funny because it's it's
the sheba from like 10 years ago.
Dude, they should bring poking to Twitter.
Oh my God, they killed like three bugs.
He knows we're listening.
Dogecoin shot up when Elon's bid went through.
That's disgusting, bro.
They were like, maybe he makes Dogecoin part of the ecosystem now.
Do we live in brain rot world?
We always have.
It's just more apparent now, I think.
Yeah.
Like mortgage-backed securities, right?
Well, those were sick.
Those were a good idea.
If the ratings agencies had their shit together, let me tell you.
We're constantly on a doomsday clock of someone just fucking it up real bad.
And it just keeps happening.
I got mine.
We just got to fucking...
We just got to have a good time.
That it was bad that Elon bought Twitter and it'd be the got mine we just gotta fucking why did you say that it was bad that elon bought
twitter and it'd be the end of the yard i didn't say any of those things but i also said something
i don't actually believe so i don't know where to go from here uh what was in the kitchen i said
this is bad and he's like why and i'm like save it for the pod but i actually had nothing oh so
you lied to yeah yeah uh but so dog but it was coming from a place of just uh not liking that
guy online man and he's
and he's owning the place i like to be online man yeah it's like that's like where it was coming
from i have no good reason hey oh dude there's a party this weekend like oh who's house it's like
oh fucking jeff jeff's house and you're like dude fuck jeff it's gonna be i hate him look the the
platform is gonna be a wonderful foundation for free speech unless you talk about like unionizing.
Unionizing or just laying.
Who knows?
I'm on Hassan's side.
Fuck Mars.
And there's going to be a drone strike.
Yeah.
You're going to get assassinated in the night.
I'm on Hassan's side.
And now I want Trump to come back for his funny ha-has.
That's what Hassan said?
Yeah.
Hassan's like, he just loves the golden moments of
trump on twitter because you can look at i don't i've always trump tweets dude i i i actually love
how relatively absent he is from public conversation since oh it's awesome it's so
sick it's it's because it's like dude i i remember uh i i went on a couple dates with this girl she she did stand
up and this is right when like trump got elected and um she was like i think i think it's gonna be
awesome because it's like we'll never run out of jokes like she was really into like the grind
and i was i was just thinking about him like none of this has been funny at up to this point yeah
you know i was in college doing stand-up when he got elected and the jokes ran out fast it was like within three months and then all the donald trump jokes
were really terrible did you talk about how he was orange the alec baldwin impression like before
the ink was dry on that fucking t-shirt it was annoying let me pivot you guys zipper can you
pull up hassan's twitter and show the picture of you should see it immediately.
It's Trump and he's standing like an actual dolphin.
Hassan TWT.
Hey, rise up.
This picture is going to change your mind on DT coming back.
DT?
DT.
It's kind of in the vein of what I was talking about.
What are you talking about?
Well, like this guy's on Twitter and then, you know, like there was an attack
on the Capitol.
Look at that though.
Dude, he must have
the dirtiest,
shitty little butt.
Do you think he has a bidet?
Dude, he probably has
the stinkiest little
dirty, shitty butthole ever.
I feel like he's got
a clean, freckled butt.
Bro, look at the footwear
on Homie Across.
That's what I'm saying.
That's true.
Who's that guy?
He's got the fucking...
Bro, he's got the hairline threes.
Look at those. They call him Drippy Mr. fucking... Bro, he's got the hairline threes. Look at those.
They're crazy.
They call him Drippy Mr. Rogers.
God, he's so weird.
He's such a weird guy.
He looks like a Game Boy case on his feet.
He also doesn't dress well.
I remember he'd always wear his suits, and they didn't fit him.
Don't come at people for dressing bad.
I'm just saying, you're the fucking president.
That's me.
You've been wearing suits your whole life.
Shape up.
More than half your life, and you're wearing shit that like doesn't look like it fits
like you look like the fucking monopoly man what is this shit i don't know i'm in a mood you're
in a mood today i'm in a mood i guess angry i i just i hate when people aren't funny and the most
unfunny person just bought a site where i like reading funny things not that twitter is a
beautiful place it fucking sucks and it's brain rot, but like, it's just annoying.
I'm annoyed.
It could still just,
it could maybe just not change at all and still be shitty
in all the ways it's shitty now.
That's probably the most likely thing.
Yeah.
But I will say,
But isn't the problem
that like Twitter traditionally
has like,
it's been really hard
for them to monetize the platform.
And so,
if someone pays 44,
40 billion for the site,
there's going to be major changes, right?
Like there has to be. Or else it there's going to be major changes right like
there has to be or else it's not going to continue to not make money sometimes those ceo top down
changes are really really slow and like nothing actually happens and then it just gets like sold
again lower it's it's an interesting thing i will say the biggest l is that he loves attention
and and he owns the place now that's where my he's gonna call it because he owns the majority
if he owns the majority of the
shares that means he's the majority vote on the board right like he can just outvote anybody on
the board at any given moment yeah i i don't know how corporate structure works at that level
as as goaded as i am but who knows i don't know shit who fucking cares anyway in other
cam another mainstream cool news that we'd like to talk about uh why the fuck is my youtube
full of johnny depp i don't watch any of the clips i keep getting recommended i'm so annoyed i don't
care hype why is it high okay here's the thing they're both batshit crazy hold on i watched one
clip before i came up here because i knew we were going to talk about it and it's a clip of
amber heard's lawyer objecting to his own question.
No way.
It's insane.
That's great.
He asks a question.
The guy starts to answer it.
And then he says,
objection, your honor,
like to interrupt the question.
And then the judge is just like,
you're objecting to your own question.
And then the lawyer is just like,
he's like, bet.
Sustained.
And then you see Johnny Depp in the corner laughing.
It's like calling timeouts in basketball tactically it's like a weird like yeah he's like he drew the foul that's all attack a shack and now johnny's shooting here's the thing i i
don't i take i i take resentment to the fact that like i don't care about this why am i seeing this
because it's like if it was about someone you gave a shit about then you would watch it i think i'm more wondering why
like usually the things you're recommended i feel have a very like tangible direct connection to
what you're already watching on youtube and i feel like i don't watch anything like that i think
you're probably just ignoring other things more frequently because like i think every like major
trial just just totally covers
all social media for a while.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even if you're not clicking
and watching the videos,
like major trials,
they just like take up
the space online
because like every major news source
is covering it.
So of course,
it's going to...
Worldwide celeb.
Dude, it's PogTent
through and through.
Every moment of this trial.
Didn't she like poop on his bed?
Yeah, grumpy dumpies.
Allegedly, yeah.
No, there's a picture.
No, but they didn't...
I don't know if it's like DNA proof or not, right? We didn't see her butthole making out there but that's it doesn't look
like a gross human poop on a bed there's a whole always sunny episode about that which poop the bed
which made me come around to her yeah the poop on the bed too well it's funny because they're like
they're like could it be a dog and he's like we own teacup yorkers or like some like it's like a four pound they cannot sir your honor they cannot produce that you think
she shat on the bed and then he was like i can still fix her yeah what's crazy is he didn't
take a picture of the shit and then leak it she took a picture of her own shit and then had to
submit it through subpoena that's so tight what it's not like he was like oh fucking can't believe you did this maybe she sent it to him like what's up bitch yeah this is your bed
check it out here's the shit what i did with my wasn't it wasn't the case that like she uh she
like took a picture and was like sent to him that like the dog did it like she sent it to him and
said like the dog did this or something i thought that was the origin i have not followed anything
so i can't say anything we postured as you doing to my bed
Two weeks ago
Yeah so maybe Amber is just goaded at comedy
Yeah
Another clip that played was her with an axe
Breaking a hole in the wall
Like your video with the hammer
And then a different clip where she talked about how
Sycuno's fans are being manipulated
I think if you went to trial against Aiden
You'd lose No you're my Johnny Depp That's a problem Who knows? Fans are being manipulated. I think if you went to trial against Aiden, you lose.
No, you're my Johnny Depp.
That's a problem.
You're the bad guy.
Wait, is he winning or is she winning?
He is crushing the court of public opinion.
Interesting.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a landslide.
Everybody loves Johnny Depp now, even though before this, everyone was like, yeah, he hasn't
dropped a good movie in fucking eight years.
Yeah.
You know?
And everyone's really mad now. They're like like you should go back to movies but like every movie
he's dropped kind of sucks because somebody was shitting in his bed the whole time it's hard to
focus on your work it's hard to focus on your craft yeah yeah amen scorsese there's too much
poop on my mind there's not the only weirdness i feel about the case is like there's so much
like which is like probably ultimately a good thing attention from extremely young people
like 13 14 year old their fan cams like there's like fan cams of it in like it's a mess of you
doing is like testimony and it's so weird there's this woman who drove to the trial
with two pet alpacas and then she was just there and like a newsman came up he's like what are you
doing here and she's like i'm here to support johnny and he's like why do you have alpacas she's like they're my pets and he's like
do you think he did anything wrong she's like no he could never oh and she's had her alpacas
just right is that what your trial is gonna be like when wait wait why do i have a trial
what is the thing that happened that i did which one yeah that's kind of like a pig situation you
want to you want to spin the wheel yeah. I want Ludbuds rolling through with your weird-ass pets.
You want Maya there with like a zoom show?
No, you don't want that because you're on trial and you did that shit if they're all there.
That's content, baby.
The thing for Ludbuds is they're always against me, so they'd be on Amber's side hypothetically.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You'd be like, fucking get him a jail, lol.
So this is, I haven't followed the case extremely closely. I've been watching a lot of the videos, but i haven't followed um the case extremely closely i've been watching a
lot of the videos but i don't follow super closely from what i've heard from other people talking
about it is uh apparently there's like things he's done like write messages in the on the walls of
his home and his own blood and shit yeah like he's done like batshit crazy things like that
but there's also like her saying on the phone admitting to you know hitting him uh-huh and
it's like yeah well she obviously did that
shit because she said it herself she said it with her words and admitted to it well dude it's even
look we could go on this for hours you just have to dive in it gets 400 000 viewers like the live
trial and xqc was reacting with 150k like i lost i love how he just stays imagine can you imagine
xqc doing this but with like the OJ trial?
Dude, it would be such good content.
Yeah, well, it was back in the day.
That's what it was.
I mean, like, if I could live it, I guess.
If I could live it again.
Bring back OJ, I guess is what I'm saying.
You know what's fucked up is like the Rodney King thing.
Also, it happened because someone was filming.
And like nowadays, like we see a lot of shit.
But at the time someone just
happened to have a camcorder happened to be on the balcony and saw this guy get fucking destroyed by
like five cops and it's like damn that shit changed a lot well kind of maybe not but we remember it
yeah and now it's like it's like every other day yeah it's crazy yeah it's fucked up cameras show
you everything but as far as the blood thing this
is what they said in the trial today this is the last thing but johnny said because there was also
black ink that he wrote in black ink on the wall because he like goes to leave when they have a
fight and so he got all mad and wrote down and then he says that she went in and wrote with like
red lipstick that looked like blood and pretended it was his and tried to do his handwriting
to make him look like a psychopath.
Dude, I know.
It's so juicy.
You are my Johnny Depp.
I could fix her.
You are my Johnny Depp.
Dude, yes.
Aiden could, if anyone could.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just like an insanely drug-fueled love story.
What are you going to do?
Yo, the next Pirates of the Caribbean is going to slap though.
It's going to be about cancel culture
and uh the loch ness monster is gonna be like trump or johnny depp gets canceled on the black
pearl hey you guys know red run backwards is murder that's just wild bro yes yeah i i think
the tldr is like some things, but some things stay the same.
Like, if we had TikTok back in fucking OJ days,
like, yeah, there's a fan cam.
On OJ?
If MLK had a dream on TikTok,
that shit would have happened faster.
It's the voice.
It's like the text of speech is like,
here's why the glove doesn't fit.
You know? It's like,. It's the text of speech. It's like, here's why the glove doesn't fit.
You know?
It's like, whatever.
Can't get mad at the kids.
They just do what they're drawn to.
The flip side, the non-TikTok zoomer is the schooled cheating scandal of the week.
That just broke.
Yeah, so I know nothing about this.
This might be cold meatloaf by the time this episode airs. No, this will be hot for a while, I think.
I really think so.
I don't know about it today.
Tell me about the hot loaf.
This is the hot Twitch Reddit loaf.
Give me your hot loaf.
Give me your sweet hot loaf with ketchup.
It's Ludwig's hot loaf.
I'll catch it.
You couldn't catch my loafs.
Catch it with my mitt.
All right.
Bitt ended. Dude, a a mitt it's a boy mut
because it's like masculine right all right so schooled that's why he's mitt romney like it's
mitt romney and he's just catching cum Mitt could be just fucked up slang for
bussy one more removed
yeah like oh let me fucking
it's like a Graham McDonald track he's like
yeah Mitt
yeah Mitt with your
big old mutt yeah Bain Capital
with your fucked up interest rates
yeah yeah Mitt
let me see
cut with your dick so hard coming out your blue jeans
so schooled yeah people who don't know who grant mcdonald is are fucking
they'll learn they'll find out hey any lore masters in chat dude so what does like grant
mcdonald mean yo grant mcdonald is that like a homie of yours like how do you bring him up so
much you guys know him yeah he starts with daw. He's just as deep-voiced as him. I fucking hate this shit, dude.
So Schooled is Miskiff's game show.
It's his biggest show.
It was his most viewed stream for a while.
More like a lame show.
Why would you say that?
No, stop.
Show your work.
Who are you talking about?
Me?
Oh, what?
It's basically Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
But I think it has its own identity.
But it's online
and in season one
because we're on season two now
was riddled with
cheating scandals.
Literally everyone cheated.
Everybody cheated on the show
and there was like
there was like
obvious clips of it
so they tried to crack down on it
they brought it back
season two
and today was the finale
and it was $50,000
for the winner.
Now it's a ghost town.
All in.
Which is
which is paper. Which is a lot of fucking money. Even for like a. Now it's a ghost town. All in. Which is paper.
Which is a lot of fucking money.
Even for like a streamer with money, that's paper.
Mogul money was 5K.
Are you done?
It's not worth having a moment.
He said that joke like probably nine times.
I know.
That's the first time.
This is why it's great to hang out with Aiden because he owes less.
No, because that was funnier than the last Golden Globes.
Come on.
I'm with you.
Let's keep going. It was so was so it was you know what i was there's a come town where it's like yeah you look like stop is like yeah i always laugh at jokes and then adam was like yeah you're
a survivor and it's like yeah that's that's amin yeah yeah he's a survivor he's he's a he's an ally
at the end of the day he's's our balding fat guy. Wow.
Dude.
I'm losing weight.
Well, you're balding.
Didn't deny that one.
That's true.
God.
Bald.
You got to keep denying it at least.
We feel bad now.
Go on.
Schooled.
Schooled.
So, EE was in the finals.
All right.
Very controversially because there was a whole other thing where I was against EE.
Penis gang. EE.
Smash Ultimate Commentator. Yes. Controversially because there was a whole other thing Where we I was against Smash oh yeah
Commentator yes he destroyed penis
Gang which is a whole thing where we're writing penis
And trying to Katniss Everdeen
Oh yeah that was lame as we're trying to kill ourselves
Until they had to end the show he cheated
He didn't cheat but he he answered
Without doing penis gang anyway he's in the finals
It's heads up him against Emily
Some other streamer who I'm not very familiar
With and and there's like a few Weird clips where it looks like maybe he cheated.
Like you can see in the reflection of his glasses, like something bright.
It looks like it might be his phone.
He's like, no, it's my fridge.
There is currently, it's like the fucking Boston bombing.
Like Reddit is pulling together so much like evidence.
And they can see the backpack in the background.
Yeah.
And they're like like he was definitely
this guy and like he bought a pressure cooker at this location and they sent death threats to just
an innocent well they were already doing that which is good no that's because they're just
on their shit right reddit reddit nailed it with that one we did it reddit keep that shit up reddit
there's a bunch of threads though actually like that where it's like this is him cheating here and it's like like five different examples it's like okay the
thing from the glasses the math in his math uh like showing his work doesn't add up at all and
like one time he wrote down an answer and then it was erased when he showed it to the screen
and uh and then just a bunch of shit like that you know nothing super conclusive but a bunch of
like weird shit yeah you
can put together the cookie crumbs and uh and that's also off the heels of every other season
being cheating season yeah and it's for paper it was for 50k that's a lot of money so much money
in in like okay best case is he didn't cheat but everyone thinks thinks he cheated, which is just as bad for
like Mizkif.
That's all he cares about.
Yeah.
Because then it's like, oh, bad taste feels bad.
It's weird.
And Mizkif after one of his offline chat, he's like, I'm never doing this show again.
Yeah.
He was in his bag.
Yeah.
And so the idea Mizkif, I had an idea.
All right.
I think this is a fucking brilliant idea.
Hey, listen up, Miz.
Listen up, Miz.
Because if Miz kids tell Miz to do something, he'll do it.
Here's my genius idea.
Give me 50K.
Are you a Miz kid?
Is that what you're saying?
No, I'm saying they're watching.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
My genius idea is give EE the 50K.
All right?
You're a fucking millionaire.
They had a Coinbase sponsor.
You can get that easy.
Do a finale schooled episode in person.
Yeah.
Bring the winner of season one, the runner up of season one. They put their money up? The winner of season one, the runner up of season one.
They put their money up?
The winner of season two,
the runner up of season two.
All right, all four.
Have them come in a studio in person
and then do a final schooled forever.
And it's the final one,
like Mogul Money Live.
Very well produced.
And then you see
if EE is fucking smart
or if he just chokes on the stage
and he's like kind of dumb.
Dude, I'd also be hyped
if they had to put the money up, the winnings up because then he serves to lose it
if he was i think you don't want to do that because you just do an extra 50k and like you
lose yeah that would be hype but you make it worth their while to go you want him to agree
and he wouldn't agree if it's like put up 50k maybe win 50k yeah damn yeah that'd be pretty
hype you know what even be more hype is if if the contestants found an elaborate way to cheat on the live show.
Like some cool, like Ocean's Eleven shit.
What I always said is like in games where cheating is impossible to circumvent entirely,
obviously in an IRL setting you can pretty much entirely circumvent it.
But in like certain online games and certain like in-person board games or whatever,
working cheating into the game is usually pretty good.
They did that.
Oh, really?
Yeah, so season two they added copying in looking at other people's answers.
And that was like built in cheating as like a like one to like.
You could like fake an answer.
You could literally look if I'm playing and you're playing.
I could look at your answer and then decide to write it down.
How would you see it?
There's like a button you click.
It's like built in.
They have a program.
Oh, I see.
Or it's copy.
And I straight up take whatever you put, no matter what. And they did it. They like, let's acknowledge that cheating happened. Season one. It's like built in. They have a program. Oh, I see. Or it's copy. And I straight up take whatever you put, no matter what.
And they did it.
They like, let's acknowledge that cheating happened.
Season one.
Let's add it to damn didn't change.
Still a fucking problem.
It's like, like literally in this episode, they had them turn around and like try to
answer without looking at their screen.
And still people are considering cheating.
So that's why I think the finale is genius.
If you can't cheat, people will cheat.
I used to cheat.
In what? School? Yeah, sure. In Logos. No. is genius if you can't cheat people will cheat i used to cheat in what school yeah sure logos
no dude for content a couple times i had my chat emote only is this a scoop this is i've never told
you how this whoa what for juicy content i would sometimes look at chat they'd be emote only and i
could kind of see who they were like emoting yeah it would always be narcs right and then i would guide content that way but like not in like let me be the genius it's like oh
saikuno's the imposter let me hang out with him all game and then pretend that i got super
manipulated that's forgivable that's forgivable you mean well you're a content guy so you're
always about it but it is interesting like it doesn't matter if you win among us but you can
make better content if there's a tournament do you ever do in a tournament no for money i was honest in those tournaments
were you yes very honest so you weren't really a chat in tournament never in the tournaments
never close the chat really yes you you're doing the voice that's a meme it's because i'm stressed
out do you did you cheat i didn't cheat in the tournaments you promised me i promise i didn't
cheat in the tournament promise i'm gonna make a mogul money about you i did not cheat in a mogus people listen guys it's getting more
reserved one day i'll nail it my impression yeah because i'm a mogul male watcher now mogul male
let me get much more chill though yeah but you're still a dipshit. It's just that I have to do that so I can one-take Jake.
And look, you see so many looks.
Yeah.
It's gross. Well, it's because that's my buffer word instead of going, uh.
Let's just do pockets of silence.
One-take Jake.
Let's do it.
One-take Jake?
Next week, yeah, upload a video.
Ten minutes.
One-take Jake.
Oh, bitch.
About something.
I'm crazy.
First take.
Oh, yeah.
Let's do it.
Wait.
You're not crazy.
No.
You're not crazy.
You don't think I have what it takes?
I have filmed more slam on the scenes than not, I think, at this point.
And you mess up frequently.
Yeah, but the goal is to do it in one shot.
No, but you said, bitch, I'm crazy, signifying it'd be easy.
You ever heard of the Streamer Awards?
Yes, I've heard of the Streamer Awards.
Because that was live.
Yeah, but live is
different than recording it's a very different skill like live streaming you like you have to
roll you're a you're a stink you're a stinky two and i don't respect you like and i could do what
you do two out of ten or two but not because you're a stinky 200 pounds that way i'm 189
fuck you do a 10 minute video I will
What's your topic?
I'll figure it out
Okay
I'll do a mobile mail
It's gonna be
Modern Russian history
A slogan mail
Slimy
Yeah
God damn videos
The Chechen
Alright
So these are the best
GPU processors
You can buy right now
Don't fuck with me
Don't test me
You would choke that
Huh?
You'd choke that
No absolutely not
I'm so informed
You are informed.
Either about that or how they rewarded the oligarchs with vodka plants.
Yeah.
The way I choke is if I don't have information.
But if I prepare with information, I'm goaded.
Either way.
No scripts, by the way, obviously.
Yeah.
Duh, binge.
Binge.
EE.
Cheated.
Maybe.
We think that is the case most likely.
I DM'd him.
I was curious.
What'd he say?
I just like threw out a feeler.
I was like, heard a lot of shit happen.
He's not going to admit that to you.
He didn't.
He was like, yeah, man, I didn't.
And I don't know EE well enough.
I don't feel like he would cheat for 50k.
I do.
Really?
I think that...
I think any Smash commentator might.
It's just so worth
It's worth
50k is so much
It's so much money
It's so worth
I think
And I don't know
I think he's a guy who looks out for himself a lot
Sure
You got it in this world
In every single way
And I think that 50 rack is a lot of bread
People like you are making as much as a doctor
Fucking in this doggy dog world
Yeah it is a doggy dog world The only thing that made me sus is his final answer like your humor he did
the thing where he stalled for two minutes didn't know what the answer was and then got the correct
answer which i feel like isn't how the brain works like you just know or you don't know yeah two
minutes of sitting there you're not going to be like because the answer was it was john russo what
was the question who wrote the like the fucking exorcist crucible it's
i couldn't know he cheated bro it was a very sweaty question instant no yeah that's something
you just you know you could ask right after who else were you thinking right oh that's good if he
goes shakespeare yeah that's like bro you were you know you were cheating i wish oh i wish someone
would have but you have to be stuck between two people it's so inconclusive to like say you cheated it's like it's how it's tough
it's called the burden of proof you can't prove it yeah innocent till proven guilty
cheat domain yeah i don't i think it is here's the thing though i think ms should lean into the
cheating even more it's like yeah he cheated i guess gg you know what i'm saying yeah but if you do the finale
like you gotta that's why the finale should exist and then he'd be like let's see if he cheated i
guess mizkif has to say i don't this sucks for me right he can't he can't lean into it too much
because he has to be upset about it being weird there's a clip he was mad there's a clip it's
he popping off he's like i asked my dad to help me with history and he's doing this no way he's rolling his eyes all contestants should have to film a
reverse yeah they could have done way more like colleges figure this out how to stop people from
cheating during online exams oh interesting they have like they don't proctors they know when your
eyes are off the screen yeah we'll see We'll see in the future
This is gonna drop audio Wednesday
Video Thursday and by this time
EE might be like
Gone for like a smoldering crater
Where he once stood
Podcastians here's what's happening
Breaking news
Breaking news
Holy shit
Live right now We just found out Faking news! Holy shit.
Live right now, we just found out that E.E. guaranteed cheated on God for real, for real.
That's right.
And we are calling Miz Kiff.
Mizzy?
Yeah, what's up, dude?
Okay, Miz, we're doing the Yard Premium.
This is not live.
Wow.
But we just spent 30 fucking minutes talking about how he might have cheated and then you
messaged me yeah it was really
unfortunate cast is in shambles and we
need this scoop he's posting tomorrow
right he's posting tomorrow dog this is
the big reveal wait when's this podcast
gonna be uploaded Thursday Wednesday
Wednesday for audio and then Thursday
for video okay okay yeah I mean the, look, he talked to us.
We talked to him.
Pretty much he admitted to it.
He felt bad.
And he was like, I did it for my mom.
That's why I wanted to do it.
I'm like, look, I get it.
Oh, my theory was right.
That was the one thing we said could save him.
If it was for mother.
Dude. Was it sad and heart- heart wrenching to talk to him uh no not at all this is the best guy for this because he doesn't give a
fuck are you well are you bummed like the the show kind of like got a a smirch on it right
oh dude i'm i'm really upset because now i don't want to do the show anymore I mean, think about it, it kind of ruined the integrity
of the show
I mean, I'm going to be honest with you
we kind of had a feeling he cheated the last episode
so to see him cheat this one
and like, you know
$50,000, it made it awkward
for the finale, people were kind of like
what's going on? It's not a good thing
that this happened, you know
People think that I want the drama I don don't because it makes the show lose its lust what do
you think of ludwig's idea to do like a live finale i would have loved that i mean i the
only problem is as ludwig knows getting streamers to do anything is impossible but uh i think you
still do it because i don't think you can do a school season three online again it'll just fucking be marred by cheating you do one final bang out hangout
finale like mogul money live-esque and then never do schooled again and find a new show
but do it live with like some champions and some new people so what we were thinking is we're
probably gonna do the show on like july 2nd and it's gonna have a big I think the day's a little a little bit of competition man
I wouldn't say that
we're gonna call it
Ms. Kiff July 2nd
that's like fucking Ludwig Mondays
Ms. Kiff July 2nd
day
how did Emily take it
I called her afterwards
and I'm like you won and she's like
see like the thing is with And she's like, oh, here's what she's...
See, like the thing is with her is, you know, she's just too sweet.
She's like, I don't want the money.
Let me just come out for content.
Oh, shit.
That's a smart investment.
That was actually kind of five head of her.
That's kind of...
That's more money.
Yeah.
It could be.
Million dollar idea.
It could be.
It's money in the spiritual sense.
Like, that's money.
Some people go to Miz's and get more than 50K in value for sure that's some people go and then they are called
investment but i decided yeah i gave i gave some people get 50 000 some people get a sweatshirt but
i uh yeah so she wanted to come out i said sure so she's coming out uh sometime and she's gonna
get the 50 grand she's gonna put on a little platter for her. Yeah, I was thinking Bitcoin.
So I'm gonna give her like a year of time.
Fucking Coinbase is stuck in his head.
A speculative currency for her.
Alright, well that's the hot juicy scoop.
Is there anything else?
Is there any fun?
What were you guys saying?
You guys thought he did it or didn't?
I thought he did that shit.
We also know EE from Smash. We've known him for a long time. I was like, yeah, he probably did it or didn't. Yeah, we pretty much are saying he did that shit. He probably did it. We also know EE from like Smash.
We've known him for a long time.
We've known him for a long time.
I was like, yeah,
he probably did it,
you know.
50k is so much
for a commentator.
It's so much money.
I think that was like,
that's like one of the big things.
He makes more on that 50k
than maybe the year of casting.
Like two years.
500%.
Two years, three years maybe.
I'm not even kidding.
We also theorized
that
his one way out
with the apology
would be including
his mom
so
we're super on the money
I guess
look
I couldn't be upset
with him
what am I gonna say
you know
he said the right thing
I
look
I'm just
I am happy
he at least
admitted it
I just
it does
it sucks
yeah it sucks
like the show
was
shit
I it was I knew from about you sucks like the show was shit i it was i i knew from
about you knew during the show you rolled your eyes yeah i know it's because it's obvious to
me dude my producers aren't stupid they're like ms he's literally cheating like we can see it
and then i can't like you're what you only have 90 obviousness right like i don't really
definitively know and so i'm not gonna call it out on the show because
it's just so awkward if he you know what he's gonna say he's gonna say no i'm not and then
it's just gonna be like yeah you are no i'm not and then it's gonna be a huge fucking weird ass
fight i uh i want you to know on twitter i will be irate because i should have made it through
because he was on the show and cheated with me. I know, dude. Yeah, he
cheated. Oh, I mean, Penis Gang, yeah.
I do think he probably did.
Look, if you cheated on one, I think you cheated
on the other. He probably did cheat, so
I'm going to guess. To be fair, the final
question of Penis Gang was, I think, 5 plus 5.
Still might have cheated.
You can never trust me.
He's like, 9! 9!
And what sucks, too, is like, it's what you said to me a lot you're like yeah the integrity thing
like i know that someone like you you're not gonna cheat because you know it's not even worth it for
you to show up for the 50 grand you know like it's it's so you definitely won't care as much
as someone like him like i get why he cheated it makes sense yeah he's a lot more he just has a lot
more reason to it's it's tough i think i think uh doing it live though i think doing it live still would be super sick yeah i i
there's depth i to be honest with you i don't think i agree with you i don't think school
three season will ever happen online it's just too much cheating We've had 15 cheaters this year or something like that. Dude, that is fucked up.
That's tight.
And they added cheating to the show.
And we literally said, all right, we will let you do what you want.
You can peek and cheat, but they actually just went the whole way.
Yeah, we had three one episodes.
I mean, Ludwig's episode, I think almost every episode had a cheater.
Are they all outed?
Are all the cheaters known?
I would say
See the thing is
I would say definitively people who cheated
Is like 8
But like the people who actually we are 95% confident
Is like 15
But they never admitted
So there's people who cheated and lost?
Yeah because they
They're not losers.
Yeah, it's so fucking embarrassing.
Well, why would they do that?
Because they know if they win, they would get hate.
So they just want to go far in the show.
Yeah, to seem smart but not win.
Can I ask if someone cheated, Miz?
Yeah.
I know who you're going to ask.
Wait, really?
What do you think I'm going to ask?
I don't think you do.
No, I'm going to see who you're going to ask.
Did Connor Eats Pants cheat?
That's not who I thought.
Yeah, so eight people cheated and omitted it.
The other five people were actually Connor each time.
So Connor cheated every single show.
We kept inviting him for him to omit it, but he never did.
What about Hungrybox?
No, God, he would never cheat.
He's way too much on the line.
He's not caring.
The thing about HBox is he actually does have a history of being pretty smart academically.
The problem is he's fucking smart.
But I had to know.
Juan wins again.
HFam was fucking right.
Let's go, HFam.
HFam gets a W today.
Yeah, that's unfortunate.
Yeah, the only honest winner of schooled ever is Hungrybox, season one, baby.
That is so fucking unfortunate.
It's not.
It is.
It's fucking podcast.
It is.
I mean, I'm glad that he didn't fucking
cheat yeah i prefer this world genuinely but i had to know no well i he's i he from what he told
us is that he's gonna write something up and he'll be out tomorrow so the world will know
dude it's gonna be a spicy day that's a juicy this is the amber heard johnny depp of twitch
he pretty much did admit it
he told me straight up
I feel bad, my mom
all the stuff
I get it to a degree
you have not much to lose and everything to gain
go for the bag, you try to win it
did he say how he cheated?
yeah, he told me
it was discord his friend was giving
him the answers uh i honestly i don't know who's the friend who's the who's who's the white glove
co-conspirator all you see in the discord logs it said the box was the only thing i could read out
so maybe hungry boxes no way it gets deeper you wouldn't put his neck on the line for for box was the only thing I could read out. Maybe Hungrybox is cheating. No way.
It gets deeper.
You wouldn't put his neck on the line for E.
No.
I'll never have any idea.
I'm just glad he admitted it.
Imagine a world where I'm like,
dude, we have nine definitive proofs
and he's like, no, I did not.
You're just folding his arms going, no!
And then you still have to
pay the 50k like the button on that one what can i do i would have to send him 50 g's and then it'd
be a huge debacle but nah he admitted it so it's it's okay i just lesson learned i'm never doing
that show again so all right well hey shit ton of views for you tomorrow though pretty hype
uh overwatch 2 is out next you see is gonna be live oh hey man we'll
take the day off you know yeah tell me delayed the apology with all the drama i'm just feeling
tired so i might just take the day off sure all right all right i'm sorry your show got fucked
up i know it feels you just put a lot of effort into something and it just like fucking has a big
fart noise at the end but yeah that's the worst part I mean like I I did put a lot of work into
the show and it's not only me and my you know you know guys know what it is you guys are the team
you know it they put a lot of effort in the fifty thousand dollars like that is a lot of money and
all that stuff and it just does suck when someone cheats and I don't know what to say or do like
what and all it does is people are like oh, but it makes the show to an extent.
But it also just ruins the integrity.
And it just makes it so weird and awkward when like everyone's cheating because it's
not fun.
It's not good to watch.
Like, I think especially when you're down to two people like.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's just awkward, especially for me, dude.
I knew at the end he cheated and I just like, what am I going to do?
Congratulations. I know you cheated. It's so weird for me dude i knew at the end he cheated and i just like what am i gonna do congratulations i know you cheated it's so weird for me yeah what's being a really shitty spot all right gamer we won't hold you too long i know you got probably other people to talk to you about
it and uh but appreciate you hopping on telling us that the deep insider scoop no you're good
you're good you're good uh uh let me know if you want any more details on anything
dude in person schooled in person schooled is genius you have to do it this summer
all right will you be on my show dude it's been great catching up yeah absolutely ms i'm i'm there
okay all right i'm gonna do it july 2nd okay all right fucking super hang up on this fucking clown
when you guys are cleaning up for your show,
that's when I'll do mine.
YouTube theater fucking second...
Yeah, it's on the card.
Top bill.
I'll see you guys later.
Bye, Miz.
I have never heard that man so
deflated. That's how he is off stream.
Really? He's like you.
He's a little more chill. He's like fucking you.
He blows a lot of energy.
So we're going to have someone on.
This segment's in the main episode.
We should still close it out.
Alright everyone, back to the main episode now.
Hey Archie, put this in somewhere where we're like
seriously speculating and it looks
really funny. I hired a psychologist
to tell me if EE was cheating
and they analyzed their footage.
Okay, Dream.
Good idea.
Get an MIT guy.
Or EE does it for himself.
That's what Dream did, right?
He's wearing a lab coat.
He's like, see, the guy said I'm fair.
I think, look, cheating in a game show is not as bad as, like,
fucking a lot of shit other streamers did, right?
I mean, I think it's like.
I think the paper.
I think when it's 50 Gs, it matters.
Aiden Ross said a slur two weeks ago.
Yeah, but was it for 50 grand?
I think the issue here
is it's cheating in a game of intelligence
which totally
what's the word I'm looking for?
Destroys the idea.
It totally invalidates the game
if you're able to cheat.
I know I said earlier you could build it in.
Specifically in a game of intelligence,
what's the point of not cheating?
You should just cheat the entire time.
If you're allowed to do it as long as you get away with it.
I'm just saying, even if he comes out
and he's like, yeah, I fucking cheated, he still can be a streamer.
No, I didn't mean it like that.
It's more the idea of
I don't know.
It follows you.
It does follow.
Magic Scrumpy.
Yes.
That guy can't chat in any chat.
Which is like deserved.
Fuck him, right?
But still, it's like shit follows you.
I think that shit's lame.
I think that, dude, I just don't think.
I never thought that.
When that happened, I was like, why does everybody care so much about this?
Because he was a piece of shit about it. Was he he was really fucking smug about his hottie yeah so fuck
him i mean that's just like he didn't like just a prick didn't sit and apologize he's a prick about
it so it's not 50 g's you know that's true i i'm not saying it is i'm just saying i understand
still hottie i guess it was 600 which at the time for smash that's like that's like every local for
the year smash inflation that's 50k also the combo video was like really special like you're looking at
this and you're like oh man this is so sick and then turned out to be taz and you're like oh i
feel like betrayed because i thought this was cool i i i'm totally i get it like it's just i i don't
see why people aren't dumb for thinking that that was annoying i don't think it's i don't think it's
not annoying i think it was more like because you're like downplayed you're like oh i shouldn't i don't think magic scrumpy still gets talked
about like he was he was like outed in the summer of 2020 and it's like that's how people talk about
magic scrumpy but it's like yeah man he made a task combo video it's a bit dramatic but i get it
he's still the devil but what i'm saying is like when he pops into chats, people like don't let him forget.
Yeah.
Which in if like one pops into a chat, it's a little different.
Right.
Magic Scrumpy is allowed to vibe.
Oh, I see.
It's like he doesn't get banned, but they make fun of him for cheating.
But it's like he just catches shit.
And that's a hell you pay forever for breaking a gaming law.
It's like forcing CD.
You don't cheat.
It will follow Dr. Disrespect for life.
His poor wife. No one ever thinks about that. You don't cheat. It will follow Dr. Disrespect for life. His poor wife.
No one ever thinks about that.
No.
I do.
I learned some stats this weekend.
Yeah?
Yeah, I hung out with Double Lift and Lena.
I went to LCS.
What the fuck did you do?
I went to LCS.
Oh, right.
Oh, yeah.
Was that fun?
It was kind of interesting.
It was the fastest LCS finals ever.
Yes.
Broke the record from 2018 where they
broke the record of 100 thieves losing in 2018 so they broke their own record which is 100 thieves
on top baby oh wow who won the tournament eg eg america evil genius yeah is it an na team yes
it will everything was na lcs finals so oh it's yeah. But it's kind of funny you say that because NA still won
because 100 Thieves' team is almost all imported.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
That was like NA.
I think EG is one of the only teams in NA LCS
that's like majority, mostly NA players.
Yeah.
Which is rare now.
It's very rare.
100 esportsman-like conduct listeners are listening to this right now
and they're
like, it's back.
Yeah.
Finally, esports talk.
Finally, we can talk
about how they 3-0'd
and that was PogChamp.
I've been talking
shop all day.
Yeah.
It was hype.
So I went because
QT got invited to
like a creator part of it,
like a creator tournament
that they do before,
the Grubhub thing.
And she was one of
the players of the 10.
And I went because
she can't fly.
So I was just peepo cheer.
Peepo.
I didn't really understand League.
Yeah, it's because Riot
doesn't let you on broadcast
anymore because of him.
Is that true?
True.
They talk to you about me?
They pull you aside?
I will say I'm full of fake news
this podcast, but...
No, they were actually sweet.
A few people came up to me
and they're like,
I want to talk to you about
this Riot project.
No, nobody brought you up.
They are... A couple that... He was backstage and then a couple of them came up and they were like you want to
you can come down to the basement i will say i think uh i think double lift there's like this
rumor on reddit because he was supposed there's some weird drama part of the event is that they
draw for groups at msi which is like the world tournament where everyone from every country competes.
And they draw like who plays who.
And Lily Pichu and Michael Reeves were doing it.
People were furious
because Michael Reeves and Lily Pichu
don't know League of Legends.
They're just influencers.
Which is not esports.
That's crazy because Lily...
That's crazy to say about Lily.
It's crazy.
It's crazy because for so many reasons,
but at the end of the day,
they picked up balls and no one gives a fuck. It not like it's skill but doublelift was supposed to do
it and the rumor is they kicked him for uh talking shit on another league player yeah so that's funny
if you were a league influencer you you might get is that a scoop i think it's i mean that's the
running theory whoa yeah it's actually deep lore that's crazy yeah i criticized a valorant
commentator on twitter uh-huh and usually i so it was pretty bad uh casting i will say i think
everyone had a problem in riots valorant events in vct it was like a week ago i saw those and uh
my criticisms were i think pretty valid and then i thought about it. I was like, okay, I hate when people do this to me.
I'm going to at this person.
And I added the person and I did the copy pasta where it's like, will you fight or will you perish like a dog?
Like the Donald Duck thing.
And the guy blocked me.
Wow.
And I'm like, that's fair.
Did you feel good about it?
No, I didn't.
I was like, here's the thing. When I get blocked, like fair enough you know like the tiktok sound because i really truly believe that any reason is good enough
i love that tiktok sound and my chat's roasting me because i do it all the time
yeah it's pretty old gotico is probably why though but but yeah i remember and i was like
i still wanted him to read what i said because i think it does it displays a larger problem with his casting and the way casting is thought to be like the correct way and how he was
failing at it uh and as someone maybe a subject matter expert right i kind of i'm not a piece of
shit i'm a guy who also does this for arguably a harder game which is melee it's literally the
hardest game to cast it moves too fast. I don't know.
Apples and Oranges, maybe? Sure, I'd have to give Apples and Oranges.
No, I think your position
is more credible because of your... Also, I've
hired casters. Hold on. Yeah, I was gonna say,
I would say you're more credible because of your
producer experience and the way you have
literally watched 14 hours of casting
at a time for weeks on end
for other FPS games.
I'm just saying so either way and but
nothing i will say if he doesn't know you right there is nothing in your profile that would
indicate that you have any of that i have michael i've yassified michael babarro and my name is
journalist how does that not help him i get so fucking confused when i see you tweet i get so
because i used to follow michael babarro and he deactivated and i always think it's michael
and then i read the yassified yeah but i don't notice thatone deactivated and I always think it's Michael and then I read the yesified.
Yeah, but I don't notice that right away because it's small.
Oh, it's not pretty enough.
Yeah, you need to yes fight more like schlatt when he puts it.
Actually, it's pretty yes.
That's what I'm saying.
Holy shit.
And it's just journalist.
Yeah, that's what I am, man.
So either way, I remember just bringing it up and I was like, am I the enemy here?
Because like I people would do this to me and I'd be fucking pissed about it.
But like, no, you know what?
Because they didn't they didn't at me with people who I get pissed at when this happens.
It's like there's there's there's no criticism and they don't want me to be better.
They're just being dicks.
And I was like, I feel like I'm different, but maybe I'm not.
I think on Twitter you come across more polarizing and in person you'd get along with like almost
everyone that you beef with on Twitter.
Yeah, I'm goaded.
That's not the takeaway.
That's not what goaded means.
Goaded, you would be good at both.
Yeah.
No.
Because you come for the hot takes.
You stay for the vibes.
Yeah, that's bitching.
What?
I have a question about your Riot Games double lift theory.
Yeah.
What is that based on? I have a question about your Riot Games Doublelift theory Do you think that
What is that based on
We could get deep into the weeds of it
But I think it's not worth it
I will tell you two interesting things that happened at LCS
Generally had a good time
It was fun and they took care of me well
Two interesting things first I met Tyler1
Which was very interesting
Oh you've never met him
I've never met him and he's fucking strong
did you and short really
yeah he's like five like
how long how tall is electronic Robert
I've not met him in person
yet but I think maybe slightly taller but
I met him and it's funny because
he immediately had an
interaction with me the same
way I would have an interaction with a fan oh yeah
because what's up he's the guy you know how like I like when I meet with someone like it's like photo what do you want an interaction with me the same way i would have an interaction with a fan oh yeah because because
what's up he's the guy you know how like i like when i meet with someone like it's like photo
what do you want he does that like really well with fans he's godlike at it he's actually who
i looked at first when i went to twitchcon 2019 because he had a line and he's always like how's
it going you're talking to me no way yeah you're like i need to be like that swole social god yeah
but he did that to me at first
he's like ludwig how's youtube how's it going man wow but i could see through it and and then
i like so we talked for a bit and i was like this is fine and i was like okay you might have to go
to dinner i'm gonna head out he's like oh you're big time with me and i was like i was like well
we're going to dinner i don't think you're gonna go he's like i might go and i was like okay
here's the thing you're gonna go back to room, not want to hang out with any influencers because
you've had to expend all your social energy doing this all weekend and talk about how
it's been kind of a pain and then go to your league thing tomorrow.
And then he was like, and Michaela's girlfriend is there.
And he's like, yeah, he's kind of right there.
Wow.
So you cracked open the matrix for a second and you related to another human for real.
Yeah. That's awesome. I'm hearing all this and. Yeah. And you related to another human. Uh-huh. For real. Yeah.
That's awesome.
I'm hearing all this and I can't believe you did any of it.
And then the final interaction we had at the weekend.
I can't even imagine him saying that.
I know.
It's crazy.
I said that.
And then the final interaction of the weekend was me.
And I was like, I just want to, I was leaving forever.
And I was like, all right, see you later, man.
It was nice meeting you.
He's like, don't do this to me.
And then he just walked away.
What does that mean?
I think it was just like, you know, like the pleasantry of it.
Yeah, yeah.
That sort of formality.
Because he's like,
we both see through it now.
That's hype.
Yeah, you guys are in the Matrix together.
That's what I was trying to do
when I asked the Botezes
if they were shills,
but it didn't work.
It was too early.
But they're not shills.
They're outside the Matrix.
Right.
That's what you learned in that moment.
They were outside the Matrix.
Or they're so deep.
You're in the Matrix.
Or they're so deep.
Well, no.
They're in the Matrix.
You're outside the Matrix. We talked about poop music with them that night that was they're real no that's a that's a that's a g-rated topic
well it's not it is like i don't think it's like it's not a paw patrol i don't think it's the most
insane thing for an icebreaker at the most no i don't think chills I don't think shills start with that.
Amber Heard does.
What?
A little poop talk?
What'd you say?
Amber Heard?
She's like the song was playing.
It's not my fault.
Johnny, I shit on your bed.
I shit on it.
I pooped on your bed, Johnny.
I mean, decent.
Decent impression.
Not bad.
All snaps for that.
You're such a fucking pussy, Johnny.
You need more East Coast. Like, not bad. All snaps for that. You're such a fucking pussy, Johnny. You need more East Coast.
Like.
Not Chanel West Coast.
That's much better.
Dick picks up on it.
The other thing was the worst fan interaction I've ever had.
He told me this earlier on stream.
This is funny, though.
Say their name and address.
I don't have it. So what happened is we have our own creator creator suite and we're in the suite and it's just
creators uh no shit yeah carl jacobs there so it's like creators right in the suite and uh but
cutie wants dipping dots which is in the main area so we go down and this is in nrg stadium like
where the houston uh texans play i didn't realize Ludbuds love League of Legends Yeah
It's fucking non-stop I'm getting aggroed
I can't walk through the crowd without people being like
Is it worse than Genesis?
It is worse than Genesis
Cause like lines would form
After one person stops me
Cause one person stops me and then like a line fills
Behind them and they're like go go go
And for some reason Genesis I could walk easier
And I also felt more
power to be like walk with me also like
more people less chances
to do this more people who have
never done it it was about 10k people too
yeah so we're
that's happening a lot and I finally catch up
QD is in line with NemSco who's the
chess player and
they're at the dip and dots and I finally catch up
and a few people come up while I'm in line and then finally one guy comes up and he rushes over
to me with his camera out his phone out and he walks over and he and he gives it to me and then
he stands next to nemsco he's like take a picture of us and then i'm like i'm like okay and people
run this bit sometimes yeah where it's like oh lud you take a picture of me and aiden yeah yeah
yeah and so i'm like whatever so i take the pic and then he looks over and he's like do you have a boyfriend oh can i have your number and
she's like she's like no like i like i have a boyfriend i don't know if she does but she's like
it's easy it's easy to say you do like sigh and like cringe from the other room it doesn't end there. And he's a zipper. I just heard, I just heard.
And then after getting rejected, he looks up at me because I gave this phone back and he goes, can I get a picture with you?
And I witnessed this all happen.
And I'm like, no, dude, like laughing like this was the worst thing I've ever seen.
And then he's he keeps walking towards me
he's like a picture i'm like this is like a good yeah this is like a time it's nice to meet you
yeah and i'm like i'm like i'm like no i'm right he's like you got soft hands and then and then
finally he's like there with the phone i'm like just take it and then he takes it and then he
walks away and i am positive
you will think about that for the rest of your life because it was the most uncomfortable thing
that's the worst part he probably won't think about it the rest of his or he's like
do it again i hope he does because i think about like five seconds after that i saw a bald guy
who's wearing like a safari outfit and i said oh
coyote peterson cosplay and he said who's that and i felt really bad who's that a bald guy who
wears safari outfits yeah so i just kind of roasted really big youtube channel fucking funny
yeah those those by the user player the coyote peterson was to a stranger we have it good as
boys huh like like at the end of the day we will never get like asked our fucking phone
number by by some weirdo yeah and that sucks man is that the first time you've ever like turned
down a fan like like a picture yeah probably yeah probably a good reason yeah i think in the past i
like i'm usually like if the picture happens this will end but this i was like this was so bad that
maybe just going is the best.
Yeah.
But he did not get that.
And then he still got it, which is gross also.
Are you smiling in it?
Probably.
I probably just snapped.
You're like Gone Girl, bro.
I can't even remember.
Dude, if you were to stone face, that'd be so good.
Just post it.
And he posted, Ludwig was mad at me
because I creeped on another creator in front of him.
LOL.
It's also so gross to like
not like she's like trapped but like kind of
pseudo trap her in that moment where like
you get really close.
It's like an agreement to get very physically close to someone.
It's real shit.
Yeah.
I think it's hard
to be like mean and like actually assert yourself
there because you're gonna be it's like you're a public figure that someone can now go like talk
about yeah yeah i was re-watching the ammo web and she was talking about like how twitch con like
the like some some of the worst ones are like when like really stinky guys will like fucking
can i take a picture in the show like they'll like throw their arm right around her and she's
at armpit and she's at armpit height but she was talking about it like yeah it's whatever
and i'm like damn you just got a fucking iron iron brain down you have any stinky guys you get
any stinky guys there's like general swaths of stink but not from a person like you just walk
one time at bigger balc a melee tournament is the one where we cast it for the first time. I smelled some guy's dick, I'm sure.
And I never forgot.
It was the stinkiest PM player I had.
Was he tall?
No, he was a big guy, cargo short.
I'm sitting.
The aisles are very thin,
so when you kind of got to get through.
And this guy kind of maneuvers by,
and I smelled dick.
Yeah, you can distinguish dick. You brought up bad memories for me.
Yeah?
Yeah, because sometimes dicks smell. You fixed Ludwig right now with the dick Yeah you can distinguish dick You brought up bad memories for me Yeah cause sometimes dicks smell
You fixed Ludwig right now
He starts crying like
I've treated my friend so badly
It was in the third grade
I had a crush on this girl
And I made my email Ludwig
Ogren and Kelly forever
I've told you guys this before
Cause I like this girl named Kelly
So that was my email for years yeah a.i.n.com okay it was crazy yeah but one time we were
like lying down on our tummies drawing some shit because it's third grade or something i don't know
and then she was like do you smell fish and i was like no but I kind of did. And I checked in the bathroom and it was my dick.
Oh, you got fish dick?
And I had fish dick because I got foreskin.
You're like eight.
I was going to say, that's a foreskin reality right there.
I have foreskin.
Have you had fish dick before?
A hundred percent.
Bro, I smell your fish dick.
Okay, you haven't smelled my fish dick.
I can smell it from here.
I'm very clean no it smells
like it's but it smells like the the slurry that they made of the simpsons when you're when you're
a kid when you're a kid and you don't realize how essential showering is yet i had a moment where my
cousin i think it smelled again in france because you shower less in france because you're european
and he was like like taught me how to
like shower your foreskin
like a watershed moment
and he was like
you pull back the skin
you take out your cock
the fromage makes it
gone
it's a bit brie
you know
we hate it we hate that Kelly she will not talk to you again but it's a bit blee you know we hate it we hate that
Kelly she will not talk to you again
but it's alright
yeah you gotta clean that shit
wow so you had stink dick
you liked girls in third grade?
I did like girls in third grade
I liked girls since like I was five years old
are you flexing? I'm just saying I remember
the first time I tried to talk to a girl
she didn't notice I was talking to her and then I was sad want to know how straight i am i'm just saying
i was like i there was no like icky right i was just like oh no same for me i had a girlfriend
in kindergarten well i chased away bees from her really that's so that's so masculine of you i
think i remember my first girl in preschool yeah i think my first crush was
like when i was like six i guess that's when it starts huh i was just like you don't really like
i don't know you remember your first crush's name yeah me too she drives a range rover now
dude i do remember because she flexed on me at a party like 20 years later ultra hot i knew how to
pick them okay Oh. Okay.
And I remember she was talking about it
and she's like talking about
how she drives a Range Rover.
Nobody's picking anybody.
I was five.
Yeah,
but you're also painting
an ultra hot five-year-old
right now.
Yeah,
but no.
No, no, no.
She looked like dog shit.
She looked like dog shit.
I just had predictive ability.
You're calling back
to picking them
20 years later. Maybe he just looked at the mom. 25 years later maybe he just looked at the mom maybe you know your mom was busted as
hell yeah well that's a goddamn fucking busted's bad you look a goddamn baseball dugout this is
still bad it looks like a baseball dugout goddamn shed use baseball mitt jill has got she's gross
bro that's not good for the...
But I just knew.
That she would turn around.
Amen.
That's awesome.
Want to hear a stat about women?
I don't.
I'm tired of it.
Go ahead.
That's such a bad line.
Archie?
TikTok would love that, though. They're too sexist.
Yeah.
TikTok is sexist?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
No, it's rampant.
I'm not on TikTok.
I fucking don't know.
Like, okay, it depends.
Like, obviously, there's pockets.
Like, if you go to Hank Green's TikTok, it's progressive as hell.
Oh, I see.
I think, like, generally, they're more sexist and racist and homophobic.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
More vocally.
Like, more so than, like, YouTube?
But I think...
For sure.
For sure.
Well, it depends because there's sections of YouTube that I'm not on is there a prager you tiktok i will see the sexist racist homophobic tiktoks more than i will see sexist racist
homophobic oh not even the comments the tiktok bro that's your algo no no no the comments oh
the comments the comments on tiktok it seems like all of my For You page. No, but like, oh, dude.
There's a series of people.
They go to BYU, which is the college of Mormons.
The soakest capital of the world.
Brigham Young University.
It's like a few.
That's fucked.
It's called Brigham Young University.
Yeah.
That's fucking either.
Brigham Young.
I heard the real name.
No, it's not.
It's called bring them young university
i'm gonna look it up because i can't tell if you're serious no he's serious or mwu many
wives university yeah yeah yeah and there's a few creators and and uh and some of our black
which is pertinent and they'll do it it is it's called bro brigham no he said the guy's name but
that's so close it's just the guy's name it But that's so close. It's just the guy's name. That's crazy.
That's if you like slurred a little bit.
That's how it sounds.
That's what his nickname was.
Yeah, it was hammered.
It said Brigham Young.
Brigham Young.
What?
Brigham.
That's a cool name. I said I'm going to start a college.
His name was Eric.
We're going to get a bunch of...
But that's the college
and it's a bunch of Mormons
and they'll throw up the easiest softballs.
It'll be like a guy and he goes up with like a love mic and he goes, so like, do you think
gay people have rights?
And then they'll go over.
Very easy one to be in the right here.
And the students are like, it's complicated.
Dude.
And they'll all like choke these softballs and it oftentimes boils down to like i'm gonna
defer to the elders on that one because that's what they call like the leaders that's weird
and some of them this is the backup and it'll be like it'll be like do you think that that
like gay couples should be able to show affection and they're like so i'm gonna refer to the honor
code we all signed when we went to BYU.
Oh my God.
And it said,
relationships are between a man and a woman.
Now,
if you sign the code,
you should follow.
And it's like,
it's like,
the law is the law.
What can I say?
And they even throw up like,
like what,
what started the civil war?
And then the guy,
the guy will be like,
he doesn't want to say slavery.
He's like,
well,
there's many economic issues at play
here dude that is insane and the guy asking is black and he's there right crazy and he's like
is there any other things specifically actually you want to come to mind that is up
nope they're actually super nice about it too they'll always been like bet cool thank you yeah
yeah even if the answer is like yeah i don't think gay people should write stuff like bet cool thank
you so much i like that style of interviewing where you just kind of give
them all the rope they yes and then they look really stupid and you're like okay i think that's
why like channel five is so good which is why i've been critical of channel five but i i see the
the value but hyper yeah you let them hyper agreement or whatever you just like yeah you
just you just treat everything they're saying is true and you nod along and you say oh absolutely
i get it and then they go farther and farther down.
And they keep going further and further, yeah.
So anyway.
Yeah, I didn't know it was like that.
Don't hop on BYU TikTok.
That shit goes crazy.
Before he asked you about the racist problem on TikTok,
you were going to say something.
Oh, the woman stat.
Oh, yeah.
What's the woman stat?
Back to this.
You brought it back up and then you got mad at it.
I got a stat.
I got a stat.
70 cents. That's a real stat
BYU accepted you
It's not a real stat
Congratulations
It's not a real stat?
It's not a real stat
Oh so the wage gap isn't real
Yeah it's fake
Oh my god
This is actually something he believes
No
Get into it Aiden
Remember when you said this?
Aiden's next YouTube video
No I told you about the anecdote
Why the wage gap isn't real
The wage gap does exist
It's just not 70 cents
The wage gap You said the age gap
the wage gap he said wage what's the fucking stat the stat is that men are five times as likely to
leave their significant other if their so is terminally ill jesus christ which was a crazy
stat i might have brought this up before is that is that applying specifically to straight
relationships i think so yeah okay there's a so the the guy is a woman's dad i forget
his name he's the star of dexter so he got cancer i think it was during the show maybe after the
show whatever at the time i believe he met uh the woman who plays deb on dexter who is his sister in
the show uh they met and they started a relationship and they were together for a long time and he got cancer and she stick stuck by him and he beat cancer and then season five julia styles
uh is a character in the whole season and dexter fucking leaves his is the the person who stood by
him for julia styles who was on the show yeah the same show that they're all on and i always remember
that and i'm like that's cold as fuck brother ice cold that's fucking ice cold working together
what they kept working season five julia styles left you're just like a temporary season character
so but i mean the show kept going sister stay on the show yes and then i believe i didn't watch
the rest of dexter because after season five, Jump Shark, but I believe they started a relationship because they're stepsisters.
No, it's not. Okay. Maybe that's
spoilers, but who cares? But yeah, it got
real weird in a lot of ways.
Well, you know Dr. Seuss, right? Dr.
Seuss the guy? Dr. Seuss' wife
was terminally ill and then he cheated
on her and left her. With a Lorax?
With a Lorax, yeah. He fucked and
sucked a Lorax. Oh, shit. And
he was like, makes me me quiver makes me shiver
That's crazy
Is that real?
I didn't know Dr. Seuss was a real guy
And she wrote a note and it's heartbreaking
She wrote a note about how this happened
And it's like the saddest note
Can you bring this up Zipron I don't believe me he's capping
Look up Dr. Seuss fucked a Lorax no not like that dr seuss infidelity oh my god she killed herself oh my god i forgot
about that it's even worse than you said i'm too old and enmeshed in everything you do and are that
i cannot conceive of a life without you read her suicide note my going will leave quite a rumor but
you can say i was overworked and overwrought. Your reputation with your friends and fans will not be
harmed. That is the most
heartbreaking thing I have ever read.
And he was like, red flag emoji.
Red fish, blue fish.
Dude, would not, could not
kill myself. That is so
fucking sad.
That's pretty heartbreaking.
Slaps though, huh?
She died, he writes Horton, here's a who.
But he makes a ham, though?
Yeah, that's crazy, right?
I'm still gonna finish the whole green ham thing I was doing.
I was at this fancy dinner, and the whole dinner was a bunch of prominent women in the space just ripping on men.
And I was there like, yeah.
Yeah.
Go off.
I love being in that spot.
You're like, you know what? Preach, sister. You're right. And it's like, yeah, fuck it just i love being in that spot you're like you know what preach sister
you're right and it's like yeah fuck it man madge i'll just i'll just i'll just let it happen all
right like what what type of stories we talking like this guy like this type what we're talking
about now yeah but like like you knew about dr seuss they were talking about dr seuss i learned
the stat they said because he's a creator let Let me tell you about Dr. Seuss.
Oh girl. Real quick.
And they're like no fucking way.
He would. Men are trash.
Men are trash. Not all men.
Not all children's
authors.
Can I get an amen
in the chat? Children's authors.
Fish lives matter
that was what is what is on here weirdly political episode yeah we kind of we're this is the most
current events episode we've ever had yeah because it's all about the news ludwig news is hot this
week it's a hot news time ludwig you see a tattoo someone got a tattoo of amon's face how's that
make you feel oh yeah a fan got a tattoo of youron's face. How does that make you feel? Oh, yeah. A fan got a tattoo of your face. I thought about it a lot.
It was a shit tattoo, I thought.
Zipper, can you find it from Twitter?
It's on my Twitter.
We both tweeted it.
You can pull it up.
It's on my Twitter.
I thought it was a crazy tattoo.
I believe they deleted it, so you probably shouldn't pull it up because I think that's
respectful to not.
Yeah.
But, yeah, what do you think?
I probably shouldn't talk about it.
I believe when I said it was shit, then.
I thought...
They deleted it?
I think it's important...
Just the tweet.
But I think it's important.
It's like, someone gets a tattoo of your face on their body. How does it make you feel? I talked... Yeah, I thought about They deleted it? I think it's important. Just the tweet. But I think it's important. It's like, someone gets to tattoo your face on their body.
How does it make you feel?
I talked.
Yeah.
I thought about it a lot.
I talked about it with a lot of people.
I think my initial.
Like your dad?
No, not my dad.
I sent it to my mom because I thought that'd be really funny.
Yeah.
And she was surprisingly sweet about it.
Aw.
She was like shocked, but she's just like, oh, you're getting so famous, honey.
Because she loves your face.
She doesn't mind if it's on someone's
body. She loves you
unconditionally forever.
I think I would be totally
desensitized to this. And I love her.
I think having so many tattoos
makes you value them way less.
So like if someone got one, I'd just be like, that's funny.
What if it was their first tattoo?
That would be even funnier because I
holistically believe that
everyone's first tattoo is bad right so i'd be like that checks out yeah what if it was your
face is it that's what i'm saying if it was my face i'm saying like i'm so desensitized like
if someone's like look i tattooed a fucking a monster cock on my arm i'm like hell yeah yeah
no there's nothing you can really show me unless it's like weirdly like problematic or like racist
or something where i'm like bad idea because i just don't you can really show me unless it's weirdly problematic or racist or something
where I'm like, bad idea.
Because I just don't care.
I treat them so trivially now.
I'm just like, it's whatever.
Who cares?
I think that's the goaded way to look at it.
You die in 100 years if you're lucky.
Yeah.
So whatever.
Did you reach out to the person?
No.
No.
They reached out to me.
And you don't know Wald?
No.
I replied today.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I didn't see that they messaged me.
Was the con was the
convo like i got a tattoo and you're like la mão no no no they actually reached out to like uh
to apologize because they thought they may have made me uncomfortable and uh they explained like
why they why they got it basically and i'm like their explanation lined up with how i felt about
it which was basically like i think if it was my face,
I'm not,
I didn't see it and was like,
fuck yeah.
It was more just like,
that's fucking crazy.
Like that's,
and it was just like,
it's weird,
but it's like funny.
Like I,
but I,
I wasn't really,
I wasn't really pulled in either direction.
And I thought about it more.
And I think specifically because it's the ever dream
this man thing it's like it's more about the meme and like the community than like if it was my face
raw like if it was just a different actually it was the wojak face it's a goated the wojak face
that's that's also a giant monster cock yeah i think i only feel positive about it because i
think it's like i don't know uh like if you get
like a tattoo of like the widest kids tattoo right the reason you're doing it is like you
love the show so much it's not like a good tattoo it's like you're only doing it because you love
the show that's why that's why we've like created the amen face it's like a separate guy like the
ever dream is man version of you is like it's like that's what i mean it's like a symbol right
it's like it's a symbol it's a meme it's the thing i compared it to in my head weirdly enough was like it'd be like if some guy got like a bad luck brian
tattoo and like and yeah it is like that it's not about it's not about brian the guy you know
it's for the person that gets it it's about the meme i think that it yeah if they took like if
they took like a photo of me from facebook that nobody had seen or like few people had seen and then they made that the tattoo, I'd be like, that's weird because now it's about me.
But this isn't.
I don't think this is about me.
Yeah, I think that's a pretty reasonable way to think about it.
I feel like it's not a problem, by the way, to show the photo if they're anonymous.
Am I crazy for that?
Just the tattoo?
I feel like we're talking about this much on the main episode. I put it on my Twitter. It doesn't even identify them. You can just show the photo on they're anonymous. Am I crazy for that? Just the tattoo? I feel like we're talking about this much
on the main episode.
I put it on my Twitter.
It doesn't even identify them.
You can just show the photo
on my Twitter.
It's not good for title
and thumbnail though.
What?
It's not good for title
and thumbnail
if you're considering that.
No.
No, no.
I think we should show it
if we're talking about it.
Yeah, that's fair.
I think it's okay to pull up.
I wasn't surprised
at all about it.
Pull it up, Jamie.
I was more surprised
that Mango was wearing
the name oh my bad i forgot it had his name in the discord message maybe just open the image
and expand it that's probably a better way to do this uh okay um we'll just center it later
um yeah i think my my caption there too is just like i i just tried to say something well i thought
about a lot because like i i often have pretty strict personal boundaries in general and i err
on the side of like don't fucking message me don't do this and that i just i'll block you i'll just
forget about you in my life and i saw this and i was like that's weird like it is weird but but
100 and i still think that but i do think that the greater message i think
i would like to use the box of soap is that we do we do we're a little kooky we're but we're
pretty vanilla but like we'll get tattoos on the show we'll do a little drugs on the show shit like
that but i think it's just really important to like if you do stuff like this do it for you
right yeah don't i think and i don't think this person did it for like to make the amen would think it was cool i i believe them but i do think that if you're gonna
do shit like this just like it's for you here's my woke take you know here's my woke take there's
no such thing as a tattoo that's only for you uh they are all a little bit for other people
yeah but you know in a closed room saying i do but i think like all tattoos that you get
at some level are for people to see and their perception of you to change because you have
them at some level and there are and there are versions of them or not versions there are
obviously percentage of it that is for yourself and there's some that are like you know i have
ones that i've done on myself that are like very much for myself um and i have ones that i've gotten
in more public spots in my body because i want them to be seen let me rephrase then don't do anything that because
you think some guys on a podcast would think was cool because that's weird do it for like the people
in your life yeah and i you know and maybe maybe you could like maybe argue like maybe he did it
for like the us for us reacting to it maybe that was only the candy and you could be yeah you could
probably shit all over that but for me i'm coming from the worst position because one it's not a tattoo of
me and two i have i'm in the lower percentile of people where i have a ton of them and i like have
a different perspective on them than most people so i'm in like the worst place to have an opinion
power of my opinion generally is just do what the fuck you want to your body and i don't care even
if it's my face i'm just like all right man that's hilarious or not and i don't care. Even if it's my face, I'm just like, all right, man, that's hilarious. Or not. And I don't care.
It doesn't affect me at all.
Yeah.
This genuinely doesn't change
my perspective
or like interpretation
of that person at all.
Yeah.
Like it doesn't.
Yeah.
No, it does for me.
It doesn't sweat.
We're just different.
It doesn't change my.
I'm built differently than you are.
We're just like.
I'm crazy.
What happened to being the same? What? You're built differently now? No, no, no. We're different now. We're different. are we're just like i'm crazy what happened to being the same what you're
built differently no no we're different now we're different but we're but we're the same
what
nick what are your plans this was my thing okay on the whiteboard it says nick's plans about me it's about you and i don't i
fucking forgot what it was it was something that you do that's funny it has to do with when you
plan things but i forgot fuck and it's the nick escapes another bullet today get there the bonus
me we might but we might not we'll hunt them down but we gotta find something because this guy's getting too high up dude no well hold on you're stuck we talked about
this uh yesterday we we are so confused why the effortlessly cool bit is so i'm shorting you so
hard it's not funny and it's such a throwaway we're talking about it's such a throwaway you're
being cool by saying it's not funny you're being cool he said no i did i was like why do you think people last it was a comment
first right we only talked about it because it was a comment on our show this was this was a
comment made in stream before yeah this is icarus said this like fucking back in the day yeah and
we brought it up on the show talking about it being made in a stream before the art exists no
that's what i mean though i think because it's specifically the context of it being a comment which is what i said it encourages i said like
the idea is that it's a fan said it right yeah or like someone you ever calm so that's like maybe
but like there's tons of shit like that that doesn't latch on as hard and i don't yeah it's
just a weird anomaly i'm like what does this i don't my dms are fucked is it easy like it's
literally you are that's like all it is and like my my i
stopped using my fucking zone in the discord too because all it is in there too i went there i told
them multiple times i was like i don't like reading this anymore but i don't like coming
here and reading because no one here is fucking funny anymore it's because it's self-confident
it's because it's self-confident and i was literally like stop saying it and they just
started saying other things like it and i'm like okay i'm being old he's cool anymore yeah
flop era's coming.
He's turning into me.
He's about to flop.
He's turning into slime.
And that's what I said.
I said, I'm turning into slime.
Slime's right, always.
Slime's right.
And tune into the bonus episode
where Nick's flop era will come to fruition.
Where do you find the bonus episode, Ludwig?
It's on patreon.com forward slash the yard.
Nick will guarantee to say one slur in the episode.
Yeah, sure. I'll agree. What the fuck? Yeah, he's over it slur in the episode. Yeah, sure.
I'll agree.
What the fuck?
Yeah, he's over it.
That's how fucking annoying
you guys are.
I'm going to spin a wheel
of slurs.
Wow.
And I'm going to say all of them.
Wow.
But I'm going to,
but the one that lands on
will be my favorite.
Then you need this, buddy.
All right.
Sorry.
There you go, John.
Here, Archie.
Archie, we're going to go
to the Patreon episode
and you can,
you can cut it off.
All right.
But, but you're going to continue
what I say in the Patreon episode.
All women are.
No.