The Yard - Ep. 53 - Ludwig sucks at League of Legends
Episode Date: July 13, 2022This week, the boys talk about the Beerio Kart World Cup, Aiden peeing on the floor, and how Ludwig was bullied by Tyler1 at Mr Beast's League of Legends tournament....
Transcript
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Hey, Milf Island.
Are we rolling?
You're breathing.
You're breathing so heavy.
This is...
Let me get a Doritos instant replay on that fucking burrito you're
just you're just wheezing you're just wheezing through it you spilled it all over your car right
now bro you used to be able to bench 225 god i think he's still good you are you are over your
struggling to breathe all over your pants now those look nice that's disgusting you don't rub
it in with the napkin now it's just just staying. Are you going to finish it all
like a good little boy?
All over your clothes.
Are you going to finish it all?
I have a Tide pen.
Are you going to be a good
little boy about it?
Oh, we don't even have
our fireplace.
Are you going to take it all?
That's yummy.
We can...
Is it chicken?
Welcome back to the yard,
everybody.
This is actually...
I mean this. I'm not not kidding this is your best fit
the milf the milf island hat with the fish feet but then a relatively normal guy in between you're
like a weird sandwich can i hit that fuck no why i'm eating today i didn't eat i barely ate
you dick adderall i didn't take adder. Slime came home and opened up a pizza box that had a napkin in it and said, food.
He said, pizza.
And then he just started eating it.
And he doesn't live here anymore.
In a Disney movie?
Yeah, he doesn't live here anymore.
So he was just like, yeah.
I did check the receipt.
That was my detective work.
It was ordered last night and it was Nick because it said his name on it yeah and it was like he's
not gonna eat the rest of this we were we were in fucking hell last night because we we put off the
postcards oh too far this time because usually when we put them off we still can like split it
across two days uh also for those who don't know we're talking about and our patreon tier threes
and up get sent postcards that we sign and um well we don't just sign them we put little cute little messages little messages i'm gonna write your name and i say hey i'm feeding
your parasocial brain do you like that i was first to do it because i love my fans i love you yeah
lovely was the first i love my fans you know i cheated i did ludwig i did the ludwig did i just
signed them really yeah i didn't have time last night whoa meanwhile i'm me and nick
we're in the trenches sitting at the table talking about telling these kids about talking
at one point it's like aiden can't think of any ideas he's looking over at my cards and i'm
writing fucking i'm writing smoke dude i'm just like fucking you're on a roll i'm writing like
i'm not adam but shorty turned me to a savage hundred emoji right and yeah and then he would
lean over and goes nick's name is not adam
but shorty turned him to a hundred emoji and i'm looking up yeah aiden's are so bad i remember
earlier on in the patreon i would get kind of nervous and mad at his postcards because i'm like
these are fucking terrible this is like you're giving this person a piece of shit product so
so aiden's cards are like this john from colorado writes in and he writes hey john how's colorado
but it's better than what you did this month yeah i just did the ludwig so i have no i have no
like the layup is that if someone if john from colorado would reply to him and go colorado is
really good i'm like going to college he would be like oh dude that's fucking sweet yeah it's
actually talk to him yeah Isn't that crazy?
He just does the first line of an Uber
conversation that will never finish.
Yeah, and then some people reply to you
and then you learn something interesting.
You have pen pals? No, at the same time you have
20 unread DMs, you piece of
shit. It's the same thing.
There's so many right now. See?
So there's like, you really just
you cannot have it all. Wait all if i can put a pin on
on the talk sheet on aid and part of the episode because we're gonna move to lubbock real soon
uh wait what oh yeah because you didn't do anything wrong today right now uh aiden aiden
messages me we're so we were a late on we were a week late on um on the advice show because i'm
live and i messaged him like yo we gotta do advice okay and we're supposed to do it at night and uh i'm on my way home and i messaged
jaden like hey on my way home he goes hey i'm just too tired to do it tonight um can we like
push it to tomorrow and i'm like yeah it's fine hold on only only because he was late because we
said we would do it at seven so it is now 10 30 make us arrive to the home late no i don't actually
change anything i did push two hours that day but i was still like let's do it tonight it was only 9 p.m uh so i'm like on my way home
like let's do it he's like i honestly i'm just too tired i'm gonna do it anymore i get home
and then he types in the fucking matchmaking chat does anyone want to play agency that's
crazy and then he comes downstairs and he's like anyone play counter-strike that is because the
fuck is the agency agency comes out of me with raw instinct. You don't have to think.
I just feel agency.
It's a part of you.
The advice shows a lot of thought and articulation.
But agency is inside me.
It just has to come out sometimes.
I don't think he plays good enough for you to be mad at him.
You can't have, no, but you can't have the night off.
He doesn't have thought when the game.
He comes alive on agency.
That is insane.
At least pretend that you're doing something like when we finally did record the advice show i was wearing
a batman mask the whole time i had like this shitty batman mask on by the way it's an audio
only experience if you go to the advice show the thumbnail is me in the bath i think zephyr pulled
up i put it on twitter on um i think it was my twitter and uh i'm wearing it and aiden picks the most fucking dark topic we've ever had oh no on
the episode i'm just wearing the batman mask and at some point halfway through reading about
someone's trauma he looks over at me and i can only imagine he's seeing me in the photo
and he just starts laughing oh reading i've been reading the question right i'm lost in the photo of the and he just starts laughing i've been reading i've been reading
the question right i'm lost in the question because this is going this is i'm reading it
i'm like fuck man i'm not qualified to answer this yeah you wish you were playing agency again
we're half i agency would have made me feel great at the time and i finally look up because i haven't
made eye contact with nick and maybe like two straight minutes. I look up and I see him leaned over in his seat like this.
And he's still Batman mask on.
And he's just shaking his head.
We got a photo.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Okay.
Advice show.
But you do the Batman voice the whole time.
Oh, I did that.
Only really dark comics.
He was fucking.
Why do you work so different? we're doing the show the latest
we've ever done it it's it's almost 1 a.m we never record this this i get how the identity
works by the way he's wrapped he's wrapped in a blanket he's wrapped in a blanket and his batman
mask jacob jacob you need to communicate yeah i get what you mean jacob that sexual assault was
not jacob was not that you need to communicate with your girlfriend. You look like you're a 45-year-old dude.
I'm being only side-lit by a monitor,
which is not quite how movies do it.
I also get why Bruce Wayne gets away with it.
I get why Clark Kent...
After looking at that, you're like,
damn, who could that be?
I've never seen that billionaire in my life.
Yeah.
And also, how about that?
We watched Brink on the DCOM episode.
Just a fire week.
It's a hot one.
Fire week in the Patreon. How was pretty good it definitely was oh my god well for one the movie
starts really high like it was like a 90s decoms when they're still like really high production
value and a lot of heart and effort is put in but then towards the end it just kind of like
gets more boring yeah and i argued it doesn't get boring it just is the template for what we already what we now
consider like how movies are supposed to go do we now we have to subvert it but if you're the
first to do it you know you you got there first and i think it's like the quintessential not quite
a timeless banger but there was visually it was very striking and what's going on over here he
just stole a tomato from my i wish i was sitting over there
so i could do that you're like coots but fucking gatekeeper master fucking milf island don't touch
my shit over here bro what if i didn't handle my what if i would it like i was coots and i'm
correct i came over there and i licked it like it was what i do to her wait let's let him get a bite
i put her in her place but i don't know like a fucking grapefruit wait i don't abuse my cat
let's let him get a bite if he crawls over like a kitten uh if let me be me no no why because i don't want him to crawl
like a kitten he won't be cute it'll be like one of those old cats that's like oh like der's just
clinging on to the last year's is five there's this is 500 there's looks like there's is going
through a fucking manic episode there's looks like like five cats smushed together. It's really fucked up.
Dude, Durs looks fine.
If you guys don't know.
Kuz just tortures Durs, by the way.
If you guys don't know, Durs was so grumpy getting shaved that the groomer couldn't finish the job.
So it looks like he gave himself a fucking haircut in the mirror while crying and listening to fucking.
Better than being bald.
Is it though?
Yes.
Durs looks like the
guy it is i don't know yeah if it's like a patch of hair that's like right here and the rest is
fucking falling out i think the stylistic choice it's it's not dude if he gets to choose if he had
the horseshoe bald what's that called the horseshoe that's what it's called the norwood yeah when you
had dude that'd be so awesome yeah babies come out like that sometimes. Oh, the face bangs you're talking about?
No.
Okay.
What's that?
What's going on under that hat?
Do you know the secrets?
Do you think there's like an American rat under that hat
who's been leading FaZe Clan this whole time?
Yeah, he's got little levers.
He's got hand tattoos.
He's looking over at the F slur button constantly.
It's been since 2013. He's like, constantly like i'm it's been 20 since 2013
god i wish i could go back
we were so much better back then uh speaking of traumatizing our cats aiden comes in the
fucking room last night while we're doing postcards he's got he's got um a bunch of like outlet
converters because we're going to australia in his hands and he turns around i think he's just
still holding them like doing something but he's just turning around kind of fiddling with nothing
and me and yingling are like looking over like what is he doing and then you hear human piss
start to hit the ground in our house and you he just starts peeing on the floor like he's
sleepwalking fuck is wrong with you and me and Nick for like five full seconds.
It's like,
it's like when you think you're going to drink milk,
but it's Sprite.
And like,
yeah,
there's nothing wrong with Sprite,
but you're like,
wait,
you're trying to figure out what your brain is trying to figure out what's
going on in the world.
I was like,
are you kidding me?
I realized he's peeing on the floor.
And then I'm like,
I literally,
I don't even ask him.
I just lean to Yingling.
I go,
he's
peeing yeah and he just keeps peeing and then he's wrong and then he puts up he pulls his pants up
and he turns around and he's just got a little bit of dribble and yeah a little bit of dribble
and his belt undone and then he just starts laughing and he goes yeah i thought that would be funny. Walk me through. And then he starts cleaning it with Febreze.
Really?
Why?
Why did you choose a good cleaner?
Just because it's chemicals doesn't mean it cleans.
He starts spraying.
That's a deodorizer.
Fabric deodorizer on it and wiping it around.
Why did you do that?
Why did you select that one?
Also, not much room to talk.
No, no. I'm just curious the hallway
closet where we put all the cleaning supplies and there was only one bottle did you look under the
sink of the kitchen where that shit usually is you didn't go there so i grabbed it i grabbed it
without thinking and started cleaning with it and then somebody added in the twitter post they were like it's another layer of
insanity that he's cleaning this with febreze and then i looked at the bottle and i was like
oh that's not disinfected wow so i went up to the kitchen i cleaned everything again
coots was curious all night about like what's going on right here piss did you drink some of
your piss no no i didn't like a little,
like it's milk from a saucer.
Did you give a small child cat your piss to drink?
No.
It's like Kirby.
Coots gets a little pink patch on the top.
I was responsible.
I was responsible.
As soon as I did it,
I picked Coots up,
put him in the-
Sorry, sorry.
Fuck you mean responsible.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hold your dick out in a living room
in front of people and
peed on the ground not people no you shut the fuck up you smashed a hammer against a wall yeah
you don't even put any febreze in it he didn't clean that up we're the last of the mohicans
that corner of the room is arguably cleaner than it was before i peed there that's true that is
what he said right after and i said that sounds like something we would make up that you would say
if you did this in a hypothetical
world yeah like we'd be like imagine aiden pissing in the living room he's like it's cleaner now
it's literally cleaner than it was before and he said it unironically after i feel like true what
is it that's not true it's like mugging i forgot he just read he goes urine is sanitary that's
what he says to me that's also true and i, yeah, like that's why you can drink it.
It's sterile.
I was like,
don't be a fucking fun fact guy right now.
You just pissed on the floor.
I think when you're in that spot,
you need to pull out.
Also,
big difference between sterile and sanitary.
Big difference.
Urine is sterile.
You can't pee on a plate.
You could have like hepatitis like H box has.
I do.
Anyway,
but I think that was really, I saw all this happen on twitter because i wasn't
there that night and i'm like what a couple things ran through my head one is me not being around
a sort of some sort of evil force that needs to infect someone's ghoulish prime is just whoever
the ghost inhabits yeah i've been building up to this i've been building up to this because
because two weeks ago two weeks ago
when josh was still here me josh and yalee were going on walks and we're going outside we walk
around the neighborhood like a bunch of hooligans we're just fucking in jeans but shirtless and
it's the three of us like roaming our neighborhood some job breakers and some pussy uh i we we were leaving and i really needed to pee and i was like
you know what would be funny it's because they're standing across the street if i peed in front of
them in the yard but like so that i lined it up so that the mailbox is blocking my dick okay and
i did this yeah i remember this i remember them talking about this
and it was funny and i'm like and then yesterday i brought in the chargers and i'm like i do not
want to continue to sign these postcards right now i really need to pee it'd probably be funny
if i did it right in front of them this is your internal monologue yes yeah i what i think happened
is slime when he goes into his chambers
Draws an arrow in his forehead
Enters the avatar state
And goes into one of our bodies
I was like
Man I haven't
Those guys haven't fucking dealt
With anything in a while
Let me astral project real quick
Puts on the VR goggles
And starts walking around as Aiden
Yeah
But Aiden's so nice
He doesn't understand
That his body's being inhabited
And you have to do an act
that he would do,
and if it's too far out,
then you break out
of the actual production.
Me and Coots,
me and Coots are the same,
because that guy's been
pissing and shitting everywhere.
Yeah,
he's a bit of a piss and shitter.
And Coots doesn't
wipe his up
with Clorox afterwards.
Wow.
Is that true?
Well, so the problem is...
He just stopped.
It's so funny,
because he was using his litter box, and then he just stopped it's so funny because he was
using his litter box and then he just stopped there's two litter boxes there's like there's
kitten litter boxes get that item bro this is my house and then adult cat litter boxes and we tried
to pivot to the adult cat but she just doesn't like the way it smells it's like diapers for cats
i think cats just inherently know where you want them to go and then they go other places not go
like piss like be physically like cats are like on top of your laptop when you're working
what if instead of diapers we had an area that we could shit like a piss and shit toilet yeah
oh no i can't make it through this one you're on some what if we had what if i rocket
and then the spot the spot like it was filled with water it like self-cleaned for the next
person every time you used it there's a there's an old uh podcast you used to listen to where
it's like they they talked about how it we we usually don't look at our shit oh fuck after
the carl jenkins episode i was like oh man we gotta we gotta start being
more appealing to women and also don't replace me please god don't replace me well but the episode
was one of ten it was it was two of ten two of ten no way you're still in well it beat mr beast
that's crazy but it lost to connor who is by far our most viewed it is going to become in a million
view episode probably i i feel bad too because i feel like I kind of shit the bed with that one by doing too many accents.
Yeah, you did.
I was like, uh-oh.
I'm fighting for my life in those comments too.
Why?
Because fuck those guys.
Fuck those weeb nerd pussies.
They are right in that you did too many accents because you know you did too many.
No, they said my accents were bad.
They are.
Yeah, but that's. From Connor's own my accents were bad they are yeah but that's
from connor's own mouth they were bad so i was like oh high view episode pog but wait but i don't
want viewers to watch no you're telling me they have i was just fighting for my life that's on
and anyone who hates me and is mad at me me and connor are friends so put that in your pipe and
smoke it like archie edits him in here yeah
archie right there i want you to put connor and i want to look real like like a short leg
feet then knee then hip like there's no shins like they got blown off and numb yeah so his
episode went crazy i think because we have so much overlap with trash taste in our audience
uh speaking of we lost a bet to their podcast oh right uh yeah germa really
choked that one huh well uh well you were driving uh what's the concept at the burio cart world cup
world cup which is an event i ran it was 16 players and it was we were playing double dash
on land uh it was like top four because finals whatever mango and fucking josh man crushed
mango crush josh was uh the what's the kazooie in the backpack yeah kazooie in the backpack
and he was chirping so much his banjo running around josh's kazooie impression and his banjo
impression and his gruntilda impression are all extremely good by the way he actually brought out
the angry drunken me and i understand that being angry drunk is not a me thing it's just if i'm hanging out with
an australian and happen to be drinking yeah because miles was brought out last time i don't
fuck with australians when i'm drunk yeah you are a true prod you yeah they like the so he we we
basically had like four races and you could pass off the controller and have someone else drink
for you so he passes it to Mango
Mango does three races in a row first every time
he's just a fucking god of the game
and Josh the whole time is like well not driving
too good are we
and Ludwig is like
you are literally such a pussy and Josh is like
weee
weee
while the race is happening
by the way because he doesn't need to do anything because he's in
the backpack he's doing job doing josh in there mashing the stick back and forth for mango to get
boosts on the turns and that's all he has to do dude when josh is racing he dude he fell off
rainbow road maybe 50 times in one race it was insane he is dog shit it's actually insane how
bad he is at that game considering how
good he is at melee true was it single elim bracket no it was like uh it was like a format
where you get points based off placings in a grand prix okay did amon design it yeah okay do you think
he did a good job i think the format was actually really fun really interesting but you lost it and
you play double dash more than anyone. It was guaranteed that
we were losing.
No,
I mango plays more than
me,
but it was guaranteed
that mango was winning.
And so we made a side
bet.
It was me and germ
against Connor and
Joey.
And,
uh,
in is Joey on trash
taste.
Joey's on trash
taste.
Yeah.
Does he look like
Joey from friends?
No,
not at all.
Okay.
Thank you.
Go ahead.
He's an Australian
Japanese.
So he kind of does,
which is the way you said that was weird, but an Australian-Japanese. So he kind of does. Which is...
Well, you said that was weird, but...
I almost said it like he was a Mecca.
I recognized what I was saying.
If you give him a Moonstone, he evolves immediately, which is cool.
Well, so it was like it came down to the last race, and I took Jerma's beer, because Jerma
was not a phenomenal racer.
He has not played a game that...
Was he a phenomenal drinker?
He's a phenomenal drinker.
That's good to hear.
We're probably on par.
He drank just as much as everyone else.
And he was just talking to me like nothing happened.
That's the Miles.
And he's just chilling.
And I'm like, are you drunk?
He's like, yeah, I'm drunk.
And I'm like, you are so normal.
What a goat.
And then he's just explaining his next stream to me.
And I'm like, you're the goat.
Mango also liked that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I went to Mango and I said, you are dead sober. He's like, absolutely. Can you pull the picture on my Twitter of me and i'm like you're the goat mango also like that yeah yeah i went to the
mega and i said you are dead sober he's like absolutely can you pull the picture on my
twitter of me and mango anyway it's the final race i'm in the lead the entire time mango the
fucking snake looks at my screen literally screen peaks has a lightning times it so when i'm off a
jump i fall and die yeah and then and then we didn't explain the bet and the bet was if we beat trash
taste guys we get a one minute shout out on their pod in visa verse yeah so now there's prone clone
there's a one minute ad we have to do one minute ad read uh for trash they do it and it goes
oh i thought we did it for them obviously because we would be way better if we did it
and way funnier and it wouldn't be as good of a shout out. So, you're saying we're funnier than them?
No, I'm saying we would not do it honestly.
You're saying they're funnier than us?
I'm saying we wouldn't do it honestly.
Yeah, we definitely talked before the show about how we could, I won't say what we were
So, you were trying to scam them?
Yes.
Yeah.
No, we can't do that.
That's, they film it.
Okay, okay.
But do you think they're funnier than us?
I think they're funnier than us um i think they're they're funnier than you
what did you expect by the way i just know that's not true well so i'm just gonna let that better
at accents well i'll say about all say about connor it's not an accent if you're born with it
no better at welsh accent connor's chinese is so good. His Chinese American accent. The problematic one.
He does it offline all the time.
It's so fire.
It's so funny.
I love those fucking boys.
They're great.
Every single person who like
Connor touched on his trip here,
when he left,
they all to me were like,
that Connor guy is really cool.
All of them individually said that.
Yeah, he's got kind eyes.
I've never had that effect on any group of people in my life. Yeah, he's got kind eyes. I've never had that effect on any group of people
in my life. Yeah, because you got bitch eyes.
You're a mean old bitch. You are a mean old bitch.
I was hoping you guys would like
You have this problem all the time.
You met a human and then pretended you were Nathan
Stans for two hours. No, that's
based. Shut up. Again, you come
in just holding a torch
that is an L. It's a flaming L
and that's what you're doing for you
let him be based the person will never leave the interaction yay well it's great meeting nick who
what kind of people are we fucking with bro streamers who aren't people it was a question
she's not a streamer she's a youtuber who michelle car well no she's different we told her
no she's based because she owned me which cancelsels out. It's like, it's PEMDAS.
But before that, it was the dude who worked at that credit card company.
In conclusion, you'll never be as cool as Connor.
That's fair.
I'll take that.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is, Connor is a capybara, and you are like a Komodo dragon.
You're cute sometimes, but mostly you have poison in your mouth.
No, yeah.
I'm with it.
That also means he's going to eat Connor.
No, not a capybara.
No one eats capybaras.
Can you pull up a video?
Can we see this picture?
This is after the Bureaucard event.
Mango and I had each eight beers over the course of three hours.
Then he drank that.
I didn't finish my beer.
Yeah, Mango's built to last.
He's built Ford tough.
You can just say his liver's failing.
No, he's built Ford tough.
Don't make me say that.
Mango came up to me at the Bureaucard thing, and he hits my arm, and he's like, let's get matching
tattoos in Australia.
And it was the most touching thing that's ever happened to me.
That's adorable.
That we're doing that.
Oh, he made a rule.
So instead of doing matching now, he's going to pick mine, and I'm going to pick his.
And they have to be, one of you has to approve them.
Matching swastikas!
Yay!
Imagine if we all planned that.
The approval process was to avoid a prank.
Yeah, that would be
really funny.
That'd be bad.
You're supposed to avoid me
getting something like that.
Why am I supposed to
make your tattoo better?
Maybe just remove him from the committee on this one. Mango is's why we include him. Why am I supposed to make your tattoo better? Maybe just remove him
from the committee on this one.
Well, Mango is the one
who picked him.
Oh, I get to do it?
No.
He picks Slime by name?
No, he was like,
Slime and Ludwig can approve for us.
So he left out Aiden?
Yes.
Yeah.
Bo's in the house.
He keeps calling him Austin.
I don't think he quite knows.
That's really funny.
Mango also beat Aiden
in a Mario Kart money match
right after. Aiden was sober. Aiden was so mad. In Double Dash? Yeah. He didn't money match me.. That's really funny. Mango also beat Aiden in a Mario Kart money match right after.
Aiden was so mad.
In Double Dash?
Yeah.
He didn't money match me.
Aiden was so mad.
Yeah.
It was a pride match.
Aiden gets mad.
Dude, I was with Shake in Vegas, and he was saying Aiden was getting mad at him in Melee
because of Aiden's Marth.
And I'm like, that guy's just easy to get to, bro.
I wouldn't say he was mad.
I was there for that.
But it was passionate certainly yeah i
wanted to win but i did and i did oh he's like i just gotta fucking get back in there bro i gotta
beat aiden's marth and i'm like you go girl the the mango thing was one of the first times where
a bunch of people was were saying i was mad but i wasn't, which is rare. You were mad because right after you lost,
you said best of five, $500, which is mad.
Oh, that's so...
I'll call that salty.
I'll call it salty, not mad.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
That's mad.
Is it?
Yeah.
It's not happy.
Why would I be happy?
You're right.
Emotions are binary.
I think we're done here.
What is germicin on coffee?
I don't know. I didn't wrote that shit. This is righterma C9 Coffee? I don't know.
I wrote that shit.
This is right at the beginning.
Right at the beginning of Burial Cart,
Jerma comes in.
Everybody's kind of mingling,
getting food and stuff.
And around the C9 studio that we used,
they have all their trophies
from their different esports accomplishments.
So the E-League Bostonoston major cs go trophy it's there
dude it's just chilling we should hit a lick on a shelf cassidy was touching it like it was his kid
he was touching it he's just like man this thing is so cool and i'm like you're always here
is it every day that's kind of how I felt though I was like scared to touch it and they have all
like their league
trophies there
their
their
Halo one
and
there's one more
it looks really cool
there's a Rocket League
one that kind of
has this like
the ball from
Rocket League
sitting in kind of
a
just a soccer ball
like a prong
well
it's like a cool
big metal ball
it's a Rocket League
soccer ball no it's the Rocket League ball, it's like a cool big metal ball. It's a Rocket League soccer ball.
No, it's the Rocket League ball.
Dude, it's the Rocket Ball on the Rocket Course.
Guy who knows Rocket League has never heard of soccer.
Oh, that's from Rocket League.
That ball.
That's crazy.
I didn't know they made them so tiny.
Yeah.
Does every ball a soccer ball to you?
Yeah.
No, no. it's a football
Am I kicking it?
Are the cars kicking it?
That's a good question are the cars kicking it
Or are they bumping it with their noses
Why don't we call it a volleyball
Are the rocket league cars controlled by humans
Or are they sentient like cars
And if they are sentient like the movie cars
Do they fuck each other in rocket league
Also if they explode do they die
Whoa
What happened to the drivers
Yeah well okay are they being controlled
From outside by humans
Like maybe that's the meta
Maybe it's like a meta commentary like
We are the player controlling the car
Arcane but it's just like for Rocket League
And it's just Cars 4
And it's just Lightning McQueen He's like yeah I'm in a soccer now It's a guy with an earpiece and it's just like for rocket league and it's just cars 4 and they all it's just
lightning mcqueen he's like yeah i'm in a soccer now it's a guy with a earpiece and it's like at
the the riot like keynote it's like what's up so we're doing cars yeah we thought it'd be cool
dude a cars anime would go hard yeah that actually would go hard anyway anyway go back to what you're
fucking talking about what is happening sorry we we're trying to unravel the mysteries of man.
We're shopping.
Right.
But Jerma also trying to unravel the mysteries of man in his day to day.
Sees this trophy that is the Rocket League trophy with the ball sitting in it on top.
And he has a coffee cup and he goes towards it.
And he like taps
it a second and then he comes back
and I'm looking at him like what's happening
and he looks at me and he's just like
I thought that was a coffee maker
dude the way Jermaine says that
too because he's just like so matter of fact
I thought it was a coffee maker
dude he's a psychopath
he's coded.
He's so fucking coded.
I went to dinner with him after the Vegas event,
because I was just in Vegas for a league event,
and he had ordered food.
We're at this restaurant, steak,
Klaskin crab, lobster,
all the fucking foods.
Klasky, suppose.
And then it's the end of Rugrats.
He ordered like Alaskan king crab and lobster bisque
and a bunch of food,
and at the end of the dinner,
he goes,
oh, bread
and he just realized
there's like bread
that they give at the start
and he like reaches over for it
and he was doing this thing
and I stared at him do this
for 20 minutes uninterrupted.
He'd pick a piece of bread,
he'd rip off a small piece
and there was a butter tray.
He would scoop the butter
and then use it as a knife
to spread on his bread
and every time he would get a new piece, he'd be like, wow, this is great and he would scoop the butter and then use it as a knife to spread on his bread and every time he would get a new piece to be like this is great and you'd eat the whole piece
he went through four pieces doing that he starts making little bread rings and eating them off his
fingers was he being genuine yeah yeah like no one is looking at him except for me and we're just
we're engaged in conversation and the dinner is over people have had a lot of food everyone is
full but he's reaching very far to this bread that's in the center to do this and eventually i cut it
i'm like germa and i just grab it and i'm like just take the butter out and he gets really
embarrassed and i'm like you're using it as like a small knife he's like what are you looking at me
i'm enjoying this delicious bread that is fucking great he was the same thing at the
streamer awards with the coloring book.
Yeah.
Not only was he just coloring, he was like making cute, he was pretending he was a psychopath.
He's like, I draw the sun now.
And then he drew his sun with a crayon.
And I was like, this guy's not, at the time I was like, he's doing this for the bit.
That's great.
But now, Wladwig has revealed to me that Jerm is just an insane guy.
Yeah, he's an insane human, and I wish we could Truman show him.
Yeah?
Yeah.
He kind of did that himself.
Yeah.
Well, I mean...
Like, for real.
I mean, for real.
You want to see Jerm brushing his teeth and singing a little tune while he does it?
He would be the man for the job.
I want to give Jerm a 500 milligram edible and put him in a box
oh so you just want him to see the demons that created us yeah the room fill the room with
clocks yeah that all say blood and teeth on them you just want to saw someone actually had a great
idea uh i forget who but they were like league of legends content drives double lift he's like i
just want to get a bunch of league players
and then have them
do like an in-house
match all high
and then we kept
going we're like
maybe you do like
a mushroom version
of it
then you do like
the K-hole money match
and it's like
this is amazing
content
K-hole 5v5
everyone's just like
last hitting in lane
till 40 minutes
just not interacting
with each other
they have all gone
to their separate bases and the creepers
are finishing the game.
Okay, well
listen dude, fucking you
ruined our whole day.
Why? You missed your flight.
You missed your flight. Oh, I did. Didn't you miss two
flights? No, I missed one. Okay.
No, you missed two. No, I missed one. You missed your PJ
to go there. No, no, the PJ would have arrived arrived later no but you made the pj wait for you yeah well that's what
pj does no no that's great nick pj waits for you why did you do that here's here's the first thing
the first thing was the pj there and uh and it was leaving really early in the morning and so i
just wanted to do a later flight because i was supposed to be there at four for the event and i was like yeah if i get there by like two i'll be
fine and it was leaving at 10 right it was leaving at nine in the morning i don't know if i call that
really early for a flight i think it's early because we would arrive by 10 to be there by two
you're sitting there for four hours so i just and what ended up happening is we got there
my hotel wasn't even ready and then they just ushered us to the thing.
Oh no.
King Ludwig's hotel wasn't ready for his jacuzzi and his fish slippers.
Amazon crown is the one who created this event.
They were paid like fucking three to $5 million.
I got paid 10 K, which is what everyone else got paid.
They had the bread.
They could have got paid ten thousand
dollars to play video games with other famous people and mizkif that's crazy wow wow poor
little you bears you poor little guy you bring up really good points slime it'll be okay hey you
know what you're right you had a tough one and i should have noticed that i'm sorry
yeah i'm sorry i'm excited to spend the 10k repairing drywall and getting a floor cleaned
i cleaned the floor it's cleaner than before
it smells like flowers too also you bitch i doubled up did them in the wrong order you you
you were a you were were an Owen That was gross
I was embarrassed
I was like that's my friend
I need him to do better
So we did the league event
It was like a show match
And it was double lift Tyler won
On one squad
And then the other squad had Yasuo and Voyboy
Yasuo has quit playing League of Legends
To gamble full time in Mexico
He's a multi multi multi millionaire
Why didn't they split them up?
And then Boy Boy took a mental break a year ago
and has barely played League.
He started like a month ago.
Seeding was insane.
I met the guy with Seeding.
And everyone was like, you're dumb, you're dumb, you're dumb.
And everyone expected my team to win.
And the melee comparative is like,
it's fucking Mango and Zayn on a team.
And then like, I don't know, Kadoran and Aiden.
Hey, don't fuck around. And to't know, Kadoran and Aiden Hey, don't fuck around. And to be fair
Kadoran and Aiden beats a lot of the other teams
So the whole time
Just not the best. Usually I don't give them this
but goddamn right. Let's go
The whole time we're in the pregame room and like
I am the worst one at the event
I am level 18 and just for
everyone who doesn't play League, you have to be level 30
to play ranked. So I'm not even a high enough level to play ranked i have to play unrated or against
bots and that's the only experience i played maybe 30 games in my life uh into prep i played three
games with cutie it was very cute the night before they're just extremely together i can
just him and i can hear it coming through his headset like oh good job babe yeah and then i
leaned over to him and i said you're the only person playing league that
just heard that through their headset.
She was trying so hard.
She's trying to carry your dumb ass.
Well, no, just to be nice to me.
Because I think every fiber in her body wanted to flame me.
And if I was not her boyfriend, she would have been like, you are fucking throwing this
game.
But she didn't do that.
She was like, you're doing great.
Oh, if i went
one for ten on hitting thresh hooks and that was all my prep but i was feeling really confident
because we were in like the green room and it's and it's my whole team which was ninja tyler one
double lift sap napping myself and everyone's like yeah we're gonna crush game one just probably
throw game two so we can get a game three in there and they're talking all this mess and i'm just in
the backpack i'm sora yeah and i'm like i'm like okay that sounds great and we get to our first game
and and we get kind of we get kind of you were in owen you ended owen we get kind of no i didn't go
in 12 in the first game no okay well first of all first of all owen is not a bad thing when you are
i played thousands of hours dota i understand what that means, but you still
were an Owen. I was 0-9-9.
Some girls prefer Owen.
That makes
me cool.
We get stomped. I'm like a Greek statue.
I realized through the event
Tyler1 and Doublelift are so good at League
that they're so out of touch with people who are bad
because they're talking about
me while I'm there like
I'm not there they're like okay maybe
he plays Yumi and then Tyler's like there's no way
he could do Yumi's auto cancel alt
and then Doublelift's like yeah you're right he couldn't
and they're going through
characters could you I don't
fucking know what they're talking about I know like
eight characters that's why they're doing this
and they're going through it all and they're like well maybe
he plays like Soraka and then they're like yeah soraka's brain dead even a dog
could play soraka it's true it's true and then they're like and they're like fine and so like
double of sex mean he's like here and he sets up and he's like this is soraka she heals yeah yeah
he's walking me through this is all part for the course when we did uh battle pass by their teams
and so and so i i learned soraka in maybe 30
seconds before we had to play again we we boot in and i'm i don't know how the fuck to play this
character and after like i'm trying my best so like after i die or something in a in a fight
i'm like what could i have done better and then tyler's like anything
that is so funny and i'm like bet bet and the whole time I'm confused because I'm like,
why am I the variable?
Right?
There are amazing players on my team.
Miz Kiff is on their team.
He's about as bad as me.
And he's in the backpack.
Why can't I just be in the backpack?
Why am I the difference maker for a league win?
And then they realize they're like, okay, wait.
Support is probably the most important role.
Why are we having Ludwig do it?
Put them in the jungle, have them roam around in the camps.
Don't do shit all.
And so game three, this is what happens.
We lost the first two games.
The best of three.
It's supposed to be over.
I go to Ninja.
I say, cause I'm kind of mad.
Cause like, I'm like, this is embarrassing.
I say, Hey, offer a $50,000 last, second, third match that all goes to charity.
I'll pay for half of it if we lose.
And Ninja's like, all right.
So he does it.
They accept.
And we have a new strat,
which is I'll just do what Miskiff does.
I just jungle.
And it was fucking easy.
We won.
We crushed.
It wasn't close.
And I was just able to sit in the backpack
and it was a joyous time.
So they didn't-
You hustled them.
They didn't work around you being shit.
Yeah, they were just dumb.
No, no, yeah, they were dumb.
Yeah.
Okay, Tyler1 has played 4,000 hours of League in the past two years.
If he has not recognized that I should not be playing support,
I could not have.
Interesting.
I'm not the guy who steps in and goes,
you know what, guys?
I think I should switch to jungle.
Why weren't you on mr
beast team he's your friend i think you could have booted up blitzcrank i think you could have
landed a couple hooks and you would have been good no this is see this is what they were saying
it's like you could just figure it out just dude it's it's a skill shot it's you point and click
you don't figure it out on your 31st game of league i think you could i wasn't on mr beast
team because he called me to do this he's like yo letty do you want to play in my in my event and i was like sure and he's like
how good are you i was like i'm terrible i've played like 30 games lifetime and he's like okay
i'll put you on ninja's team so you can maybe throw and help me win oh so he wanted me to be
on their team okay an inside job i did wonder that mr beast with doublelift he was no he was
with the boy boy he was with the bad team that ended up technically winning. But since we did that third match, there's always.
No, it's a road game.
It leaves him guessing.
Yeah.
We won the road game.
Road game.
That's a hustle and a half.
The hustle and a half made him pay 50K, which doesn't really hurt his bottom line.
That's pretty cool.
I think that that's okay.
Even though it was fun to make fun of you.
I was happy to see my friend play video games.
What?
What happened today?
Well, okay. So then after the event ended we went to dinner with that saw germa eat bread weird yeah i went to uh i met
magnus carlson for the first time oh you've never met him never that was a big deal for you right
it was so they were doing a poker game for 20k originally i was supposed to do it but i didn't
realize it was streamed i was pretty fucking out of it and i didn't have 20k cash kind of sucked i heard you had a shit ton of tech problems dude
yeah there was no one was awful yeah oh gross they so they they started the stream they didn't
realize there was no audio and there's a 15 minute delay so they waited 15 minutes of doing the
stream and then chad was like no audio on the first 30 seconds of it they try to fix it 50
minutes passed their fix didn't work.
So it took like 30, 45 minutes
to actually do anything.
Yeah, that's delay-based production.
We clicked out.
We said, this is a bad scene.
We left.
We were watching and left.
And we have a lot of respect for production.
So I can imagine children all just left.
Oh, yeah.
With no thought.
They were molding.
It was a bummer for Botes
because I think it would have been cool
They should have just
Taken the phones and no delay
What are they doing?
Either way
But I met Magnus
He was very cool
Apparently he was nervous
To meet me before I went in
Did he say his name like Magnus?
Like what is that?
I'm Magnus
Why would he say it that way?
Why would they say it that way?
Because that's how
The guy says it
Who's named that in Dark
The show
Yeah but they're German
And he's Norwegian.
Yeah, it's different.
What is the...
Different countries.
Pronounce it differently.
Okay, he's Norgay.
Oh, Norgay.
Okay.
I love those guys.
Shouts out.
Shouts out Length Blank and Henke.
I met him.
It was tight.
The only thing, and the reason I am late here today and I missed my flight is because I
stayed up late gambling with Mr. Beast.
A lot of swag.
Which is crazy.
Is he crazy?
I can only imagine.
A fucking psychopath.
That's awesome.
It is at like the High Roller roulette table, and he has like $100,000 in chips in front
of him.
He had won $ won 200k off a
single roulette hand and uh yeah me and him are we're cut from the same is he playing the inside
from the same yes we are he just has more money than me it's i was in vegas days before don't
you get that that's a lot of people were yeah but i went up 25 grand I took fucking Bellagio for a ride Bro
Wait what did you leave with
I'm still up
I was a good boy
How much are you up
I'm up 25 grand
It almost never happens this way
That's why I was so happy
I literally walked by the fountain to go pick up Shake Drizzle
Listening to fucking the Ocean's Eleven song
The Bellagio was like hey that bald guy is borrowing Some of the money we're keeping from him they let me they put me on ice because
i went back with shake drizzle i was up 15k and i'm like this is great i take another three and
i'm like all right shake let's teach you some blackjack we go to the bellagio i fucking i run
up that three to another 10 and i'm like this is too good shake we need to get we need to scram like scooby-doo
meanwhile shakes tweeting the house always wins on his taiwan i told him i told him you will lose
and i go back to the cage and they make me wait they're like we haven't approved your your win
yet i'm like what it's like yeah you were just there right i'm like yeah and they're like okay
and they maybe sit there and i'm like shake they're gonna follow us around we got to get out
of here but they gave me the money eventually but they don't like when you beat him up like that they don't anyway did
jimmy beat him up so he was beating him up he wrote it from 10k to like 250k my bitch does jimmy
beat it up is jimmy making a clap into the casino he's giving him back shots no no no
i know now you don't know do you Do you think Jimmy knows it makes a sound?
Well, he has his hose doing his work for him,
and his hose is me and like Sapnap.
Okay.
He has Sapnap.
Imagine how many people in this world
can make Ludwig and Sapnap the hose.
This was Sapnap's job.
Sapnap was sitting on the far left.
There actually might have been puns.
And since Mr. Beast was playing like all over,
he'd play like, oh, I'm going to go red this time
and then play a bunch of random numbers on the inside.
He was playing zero.
In one turn, he didn't play zero and it hit.
And he was really mad because he was going to do it in
and Duel was like, no, no, no.
So then he went to like Sapnap and he's like,
you have to put this $500 chip on zero every single turn.
And every time he would do that. And if he was ever late, Mr. Beast would be like, you have to put this $500 chip on zero every single turn. And every time he gave him a job, do that.
And if he was ever late, Mr. Beast would be like, do your job.
And he'd be like, hey, sell this tomato sauce in your little wagon on the streets.
Yeah.
Little boy.
I walk in and I'm like, I'm like, I see there was three reds and I'm like, shmeesh mop.
I put like all my money.
I'm like $500.
I put it on black.
And Mr. Beast is like, oh, Lottie, you seem like you know what you're doing. And I was like all my money of like $500. I put it on black and Mr. B's like oh Lottie you seem like you know what you're doing and I was like, yeah, he puts like 50k there and I'm like
Same bro, if I had his money would be the same but I'd be broke and he'd still be rich in a hits
And he's like and he's like wow, you know what you're doing. I'm following you next and then I'm like, oh, okay
this is stressful and. I'm following you next. And then I'm like, oh, okay, this is stressful.
And so I'm like, red.
And he puts like, you know, like 20K, whatever it is.
And it hits and he's like, wow, you're really good.
And then he starts paying me out.
He's like, I'm going to give you 1% of all my winnings.
And I'm like, this is a tight gig.
Yeah.
This could go well pretty quickly.
And he gives me like, whatever, 500 bucks.
And I start playing and i do
good for like a couple others and i say a lot i'm like i think i only got two more in me you know i
can only be lucky for so long and i and i go like the wrong color and he's like oh didn't love that
from you and i was like okay well i'll bring it back daddy is not pleased with you and i and i go
black again and it misses again he's like wow and then he's like you know what i
i think i'm gonna go the opposite from what you do from now on and he starts doing that and then
he starts winning and he's laughing in my face as i'm losing like hundreds of dollars yeah and
he's winning thousands of dollars yeah the whole time by the way he has this giant like six five
security guard great guy guy. Sweet lad.
He's the same guy from the poker game? Yeah, yeah.
He's doing this.
He's like, I told his mom I'd bring back some money.
Oh.
And he's like, Jimmy, maybe I take some and we bring it up to a hotel.
And Jimmy's like, no, that's all right.
Hey, can you call this guy like Chuck and tell him to bring more money?
He's like, no, no.
I remember we asked him when we were cashing out after the poker game because it
took forever and it was me ludwig and that guy and we're just like you uh like you get used to
it huh and he's just like oh yeah he was very cool i was just in vegas with my brother and um
i can't remember i don't think i said this on the podcast but um we're playing pie gal he's never
played before he's very excited to learn this new game he's also wasted um and he's also the luckiest gambler of all time and we're sitting there i am down
three grand which is the most i've ever been down in vegas and so i'm like damn i i can't i can't
gamble anymore i don't want to play any more games so i'm just sitting with him while he plays pie
guy i'm watching and he goes hey hey and he hands me like 100 bucks in chips he's like just play
just play you keep half keep half and i was like okay usually when you gamble someone's money you split the winnings or whatever
um so i'm playing and uh you know when you're at like a blackjack table or pie table there's like
the progressive screen and you just don't even look up there you never fucking win it yeah so uh
i hit a progressive one on my pie gal hand i won a thousand dollars off of a fifteen dollar bet i have i got a straight flush in pie go i've
literally never ever gotten on the progressive screen and my drunk brother pops off he's like
watch fucking go but gets up he's hugging me he's just saying shit to everyone and then he uh
he takes the money and then he scoops it all back in and then he just puts it in his bag
and now i no longer have money
good work and i'm not gonna tell him give me your money but we had this kind of agreement that i was
keeping half of whatever i won gambling yeah well the agreement changed so he changed it and then
later after we're done playing pie go he goes where's all the money you want and i'm like i
gave it back to you he goes oh i wanted you to keep half and i was like oh and
then he just didn't give me any and i was like i wasted all my luck on that fucking yeah he stole
your luck and now it's like when i got gifted a sub in amaranth it's stolen it's all gone yeah
that'll happen look vegas taketh away i hope shaky d right now at this very moment right now this is
a sunday we're recording this shaky dy D is not out of Vegas yet.
Oh,
he's,
he's,
he's up like a thousand dollars off a chip.
I gave him and I don't want it back,
but I want him to go up and I want him to stay up.
And I don't think he's going.
I don't think he's going to,
he teamed with a June bug at double down and June bug for people who don't know was a really,
really good project employer.
Still,
still is.
And also a very good Melee player.
Played Sheik.
But Junebug went to this tournament and played only Dr. Mario the entire weekend.
And teamed with Shake Drizzle.
And in singles, Junebug made a run to get into top 12 of this major tournament with only Doc.
Which is a bad character. A character that he's only playing for a fun
youtube video he's making yeah and and he skipped out on his top 12 qualifier match
to play on sunday and finals to go see shin limb the the magician the goat
yeah he has a really cool billboard and he's doing this and there's cards in the middle of his hands
it's a shin limb show
it's shin limb and it's all the same he's just like
tussling his hair being hot but then he starts beating
off and everyone's just like whoa
I went to the wrong one
yeah
look at that squad that's shake mokey
uh
what's his name Jorge
in the plaid
yeah
dead center
that is so funny
Shan's on the right
nah I don't know
yeah
yeah that's tight
I will
wait can we talk about
the other thing
from the tournament
which is
you alluded to it
the Hbox bioweapon
there was no illusion
it was just what happened
where
Hbox
he
alluded
yeah yeah there was nousion it's still a noun
but a journalist means you referenced it earlier yeah but there was an illusion but i didn't when
you allude to something i think it means that it hasn't it's not real no you're thinking of
illusion no no no no i'm not i'm not if you allude to someone, it means you're hinting at it.
I alluded to it, but I didn't covertly, secretly say anything.
I just said H-Box has hepatitis.
Which he doesn't have.
So you're alluding to that.
What the?
We don't know that it's hepatitis.
Right.
I'm right about this.
You're a dumb English major.
Pull up the definition of allude.
Pull up the definition of allude.
You want to win?
Pull it up.
He wants to win.
He didn't get any W's. I think Ludwig is for sure right.
Ludwig is right. We can't
see because of the board. To call attention
to indirectly hint at? I didn't hint
at anything. I just said he has it. You
hinted that HBox was a bioweapon
at this tournament by saying he has hepatitis. You're hinting
at him having another disease
because you are pretty confident
presumably that he does not have hepatitis.
Okay. As someone who actually cares about the English language,
Hold it.
I would argue that it is not,
that I was being much more specific than an illusion would be.
Do you understand me?
Now, there's probably some play here.
There's probably a little bit of...
Give daddy some play here.
I'm trying to get some play.
And you can give me some play in
the parking lot i'm just a smarter english major anyway i really think that hey no pull up the dm
that you wanted to talk about real quick yeah yes no this is great smarter english major another
log in in ludwig texting i'm blocking your number i just don't want to talk to you i just i don't
care to talk to you why don't you want to be held accountable for the words you say
when you text me i want to genuinely know what you were thinking when you said this
text i want to know if you if this was a typo go ahead master english major this is today at 12 40
because i i understand crazy weekend with mr beast you missed your flight it happens we have
to reschedule this isule the time that we were
going to record so we're kind of trying to
reschedule the premium episode
understandable circumstance
and I uh you
send me text about you coming late
and then I say
text Aiden for some reason whose now job is to
message all of us I say probably
you're because you're asking when we do
the premium and I say probably
going to do the premium
in Oz.
And then you just reply with,
shouldn't the Australian premium?
No, I said,
I didn't say that.
That's a lie.
I said,
shouldn't the Australian premium
be for the Australian episode?
But then my data cut out
and it didn't send
until four minutes later.
Which is a complete thought.
Read your text.
No, I know. I just told you, you dumbass. It didn't send until four minutes later which is a complete thought read your text no i know i just told you you dumbass it didn't send till four minutes later because i didn't have data
so i wrote shouldn't the australian premium be for the australian episode which is a full thought
which which you're saying is a w data cut out is having one yeah hold on hold on hold on hold on
i see i'm gonna i'm gonna choose with the route of understanding
here you're saying that your data went out in the middle because you're breaking it up into
multiple texts and you're continuing your one text shouldn't the australian premium
be for the australian okay because from my end these are like five minutes apart right
and that's why i was confused because i just got the first part of the text which which said
shouldn't the australian premium and i'm
like does that mean we do it with the episode you sent him in the shadow realm it was annoying
because i then saw you roasting me in the replies but my text wouldn't send back i didn't roast you
i just said what do you mean
well then you had a segment for the podcast about it well he wanted to bring it up i didn't see
his fucking phone so this is what i was doing and i was like fucking annoyed so then i
this is a very reasonable paragraph this is a very reasonable explanation explained everything
this is a very reasonable let me let me tell you something what does that mean is not a roast
it's just trying to get the info what does that mean and then presumably he was in a group and
he's like check out this ludwig text and then he set up a segment for a podcast about it no i mean
i'm doing it now yeah he said it before you came up because you took seven years to hork down your
burrito so it did happen but no that that's a great explanation because i was surprised by this
i would when you sent this first text and it just said that,
I was really surprised
because I feel like we've been having
some breakthroughs
at the communication department lately
and I was surprised
that you would send a text like that.
Yeah, that he had a stroke
and then touched his phone with his fingers.
Which isn't what happened.
Vegas is a desert, it turns out.
Isn't what happened.
Also, you were late for a flight
when every place you stay in Vegas
is three miles from the airport
and the whole the whole premise of this conversation is you trying to make sure that
something gets done because of the mistake that you made which it's like you taking accountability
for it so i think the whole circumstance is great and i'm not trying to make fun of you i
just thought that one text was very very it was It was just an overshoot. I shot for a
9am flight at Vegas
when I was there for one night and I
went to bed at like 4.
It was just an overshoot.
Did you press snooze? Did you look
at your phone and say I'll get another flight? I didn't set an alarm.
That's what I was going to ask. Why?
Because I didn't have like a phone charger.
Because God's going to wake me up. Why? Because I didn't have
one. I didn't pack one. I didn't have a toothbrush.
I haven't brushed my teeth in 48 hours. I have a question.
Are you packed for Australia?
No. But he leaves like four days.
Oh, right. He leaves with us.
All right. Well, Aiden's also not packed.
But he does leave. What? Yeah, I'm almost done.
Aiden packs real quick. Also, I pack fast.
Also, we're going to Australia. Yeah, we're going to Australia.
Oh, shit. Yeah, what's up? When this is up,
we'll be in Australia. Yeah, what's up,as yeah you shouldn't say that dude yeah what's up
marsupials why are you trying to fuck a marsupial you just said kanga you just said kanga with a
soft a and i feel like that's weird yeah it's not weird to say it like that any marsupials wearing
lululemon wombat australia want to meet up any more soup is it look like this I think the big
thing because I think we've loosely talked about going to Australia maybe in different places
uh but the big change is that Ludwig has recently decided to go so we're gonna do an episode there
yeah yeah just cool you time travel when you come back from Australia so uh you know you know Chad
from anything from sorry Chad from cold ones yeah uh he's followed
me for a while and i i think it's like adjacent to you i've never spoken to i don't know him and
i've i've followed him since i was in like high school and um i met i dm'd him because we're
going to australia and i was just like where you guys live it'd be cool to like meet up and do
something and he's like uh when do you get here i told him the date he's like i'm in new zealand
but i'll fly home early my wife's going to be mad
and i'm like i'm like okay hold on i don't know you yet i guess i guess i'll go hang out with you
my wife is gonna be pissed like you don't have to do that enjoy the trip with your wife i must
that sounds lovely you do not and he's like we'll figure it out she's gonna be so pissed i'm like
stop doing this i won't meet with you i'll come meet with you anymore i'll come back you know what
i could kill her if i just cut her head off then she won't be mad i'll kill my damn wife
he just sends you a screenshot book the flight she's yelling at me right now thanks
that might happen i don't know yeah that's cool a cool little crossover yeah we'll be there it'll
be nice we're gonna fucking shake down some fucking ruse
You know who else is in Australia apparently
That would be weird to meet I feel like is
How to basic
Really yeah he lives in Australia
The zipper of
Gold ones
Certainly he's not open to just meeting people he doesn't know
Yeah he's in his whole thing
Anemone
Anemone
It's like there's fish in it no i get it's
the nemo reference yeah no what did you ever what have you seen get bricked up to that movie
to finding nemo yeah yeah i like there is like two humans in that in that movie and one is a child
that wasn't the question okay so you're saying to the fish yeah obviously the fish you fucking freak which fish well or the boatmen the boatmen aren't they
like just the legs yeah yes sir a couple of bears on the ocean them seagulls saying my my and i'm
getting fucking bricked i what about the turtle who is a cool surfer dude? Dude. Noggin. Cool surfer dad? Well, not Noggin.
Crush?
Crush.
No, no.
Not the baby turtle, you fucking freak.
No, they say Noggin.
What's the matter with you?
That's the voice line.
Yeah, but you're talking about the baby turtle.
You're talking about dicking him down.
What?
No, he's talking about dicking down the big turtle.
I am talking about dicking down the big turtle.
I'm quoting the movie to be clear.
He was quoting the movie.
No one wants the movie to be quoted.
No one's getting it.
You brought up Finding Nemo.
And being erect at it, which no one is on board with.
Oh, really?
Zipper?
We're going there.
What is Zipper going to do for you?
How is Zipper going to help you here?
Look at that winning smile.
You know what he's about.
You know what the fuck he's done.
He's thumbing down, if anything.
Yeah, I think Australia would be tight, though.
It's going to be three days. you were hating on it three months ago i well yeah that's the annoying part things aligned
no there's just streamers there now so you're excited oh really oh man i thought what it is
bro oh that's okay well i'm gonna i don't get mad anymore i just accept that i'm gonna do cold ones
and then i'm gonna hang out with Trash Taste guys.
And then I'm going to stream Phantom.
And then we're going to do pods.
So those four things.
Yeah, but it was only the second two.
You were like, Australia is boring.
Who wants to go there?
Not a good pod episode.
Also cringe.
I think that's my very specific beef is that you're like,
Australia is going to be cool.
And three months ago, you were like, Australia seems kind of boring.
Yeah, but now I'm excited about it.
Yeah.
I'm excited that you're going.
I also found out it's winter there, which is cool.
I like it.
I like what you're doing.
I was looking at the weather and I was like, damn, I can wear all the clothes I can't wear
here while it's a fucking 100 degrees all the time.
It's only going to be like 70 something.
No, it's colder than that.
No.
Not what the weather app said. Yeah, like 65. I also think it's cool that if you fly i think this is so i
don't know why no one else is excited if you fly from australia to la at like noon on a sunday you
arrive at 9 a.m on the same sunday we get it this is like this is like a son this is like me and
london london was explaining this and me and ladwig both look at each other into the same thing where it's like we could never grow up we just keep flying there
and i'm just malding in the office listening to them talking about this this is like hassan
tweeting he's like oh the sun goes down at like 9 30 and and comes up at 4 30 because he's in the
uk right now oh yeah that's just how latitude works okay
well to be fair i was in vancouver and thought the same thing but i was just happy about it yeah i
wasn't mystified i just liked it it's cool how i do that when when people who live in l have lived
in la or near the equator their entire life just fucking go to another city sorry my daddy doesn't
fly a plane i can go to singapore that's a good point
seven you have been you've traveled you grew up in france you spent half of your life going to
france every summer all set you went to saudi arabia and support their slave regime that's true
you have done that supports what and then it's me soy jacking and it's aiden with a slave and it's
the football team you're telling me you're telling telling me. We get an email and they're like,
can we have MBS on the podcast?
You guys wouldn't say yes.
Martin Bailey Scott?
Who's MBS?
The guy who produced the season two of The Office?
No, Mark.
He's Brownlee.
He's the tech YouTuber.
Oh, I love that guy.
Yeah, MBS.
Hey, if you're watching, we love your shit.
Yeah, he made that video about that phone with the big camera.
Oh, it's so big. It's a big camera. It's a big camera to be on a phone i can't believe you saw it at some of your
own videos sony sensor in there it's cool love that guy yeah get him on yeah yeah you know that
guy makes great videos who is mbs muhammad bin salman oh right he's yo muhammad bin salman
that's what i've been saying i was thinking about that and i couldn't all right i couldn't get
there he's a politician who is a crown prince deputy prime minister minister of defense sexy
so this is the guy this is the guy who was like all right all right we will open some movie theaters
but we still get to kill journalists okay yeah well i think that's a good trade yeah i feel like
that's a w how much is
imax like what are we talking yeah like like what journalist you know is it bright part are they
french people should we care is what i'm saying michael babara put him in the white room 30 days
yeah like you're saying like they sacrifice a journalist instead of they get killed in the
action no yeah it's like it's like dark souls you have to link the journalist's flame every at the end of every cycle like paper
mario you just throw one in and it goes and it spits out a random movie it's like it's like oh
man top gun again he's kind of a shorter a shorter journalist from a shitty art magazine
that comes like cheaper by the dozen yeah fuck yeah you you throw in like a hot cool journalist you get like fucking
infinity war you throw aiden in you get fucking planet earth and you're like fuck i wanted a movie
planet earth is really popular so yeah all right let's circle back to it as we speak at this very
moment double down which is a tournament happening in las vegas california is a tournament that is
in las vegas california there's double down it's tournament melee tournament it's got melee and
ultimate and melee top 12 has been going on today and rivals and cake assault won again that's true
we were watching rivals and be like man this is hard to watch visually and then and then aiden
was like damn cake assault did it again and then we
all just got upstairs what character feels the pop-off fills the screen with smoke i can't see
anything that's true it's hard to see what's going on literally fills the screen with smoke
that's a fighting game yeah i need to watch it's like having a thing laying in your game yeah that
that is it's like playing mario party where he hits the vape and then he just blows it into the screen.
Smokescreen.
Anyway.
Ooh, Joe took your shock on that one.
I'm sorry.
I saw a tweet earlier that just said, like, Rip Joe, you were the best.
And it's like someone's eulogy Twitter post.
And I just thought about sending it to Nick Yingling and be like, not me, bro.
Yeah, nice try.
Not going to get me, bro.
How much did you pay this guy?
Nice try to Joe Dye.
All right.
So Hbox, he's a buff player you know you heard of the
kid you know what he did everybody know the goat you heard the screams he's fucking shows up he he
can you pull up the tweet zipper it's like the probably the first one on if it's not already
an apology post he got fucking oppressed he got yeah the woke mob really took one too i actually
think liberals went too far this time this time they might have let's see who cancels who somebody somebody had a banger and it was uh it was hbox doing exactly
what we all joked kyle shields would do that was kyle kyle tweeted that the thing i people joke
about me doing he's doing um but yeah it's the one zipper where he's like uh it's it's it's his covet test and it's negative
and he said went to the doctor because he was feeling like i wonder if he deleted it and he
was like yeah he might have coughing up blood uh the doctor says it's either coveted or it's
a bacterial infection in my throat and then he just immediately says in parentheses it's not
coveted yeah and then it shows uh it shows the certificate from Benchwarmers that says, I am 12.
Don't worry, guys.
Not COVID.
Yeah.
What's the business kid in BoJack Horseman?
It's like the three kids in a coat.
I didn't watch BoJack.
I think he deleted it, so I sent it to you on Discord, Zipper.
Yeah.
Go ahead, Aiden.
He still showed up and beat SFAT and then left.
Yeah. He looked like he was in Shadow of the Colossus at the end of the game when you're like,
all the demons are taking your soul away
and you're all haunted and ghoulish.
Dude, he had martyrdom on.
You gotta take S-Fat with him, bro?
Oh, God, dude.
He looks like shit.
Yeah.
Look at his eye makeup.
He's like, oh, this COVID's really kicking my ass.
Yeah, so he said he's bleeding from the mouth.
He was throwing up like blood
and he went to the doctor, not COVID,
but then showed up not wearing a mask. imagine imagine he's got a mask on and he takes it off after the set just
caked in blood on the inside yeah and i like how the new meta is like the only disease we have to
worry about is covid no other illnesses can be transferred yeah okay so here it is i definitely
woke up this morning and flew up blood flushed emoji this is not a joke he
literally put the flushed emoji like the blushing guy went to urgent care 6-10 they said it's covid
or bacterial effect in my throat slash uvula which means he has a vagina uh it's not covid
anyway i got antibiotics plus steroids via a shot on my butt now i gotta play losers black and
i didn't see this part it's a covid test and then also a picture of him face palming
but it's kind of like
a thumbs up also.
I do want to see
what Steve said.
Jesus Christ.
He's trying to show
the wristwear.
Steve the CEO of Team Liquid
says dude take it easy.
If you don't start feeling better
with all those shots
and stuff rest up.
He did not tell him
to stop competing
because it's time
to bring home
that fucking bag.
Either way.
TL gonna win
when TL wants to win.
Steve is like
look Juan
you've seen the books and you can't you need at least two more sets hbox throws up blood same tweet
except it's a spread pick that'd be fucking just like yeah woke up and flew up blood uh
but check out check out the bands nobody's talking about how he still beat s fat though
okay so he beat s-fat in this
in this kind of state like literally a zombie walking the earth he still beats s-fat one of
the best fox players around you kind of got bio bucked and then and then he uh probably most
likely is looking at his phone seeing people take a dump all over him for one i'm wearing a mask
because he has florida dna and also doing this
whole thing and saying no it's not code and then he just dequeues himself probably because it was
like insane and you know so that's where we're at now and i thought it'd be fun to try to predict
yeah gonna dequeue for safety this was after you know he looked at twitter also escorted myself
out of the venue what does that mean it's just a fun way of saying i left also my people took me out it's like my cough so i thought it would be fun because we this is in
the thick of it right now i think we should try to anticipate what his apology tweet is he doesn't
make one no i think he says nothing more than why doesn't he apologize bro sorry the woke mob used
the scamdemic to push him out of the venue
go want it to grind like fuck you guys straight up one one hits the timeline tomorrow up yours
moralist yeah yeah he's gonna tweeze and be like one demick got me again flushed emoji yeah and
then it's like a deep fried he's like a supreme hat do you guys think one shuts down the gucci
store yes no one shuts down the gucci no he doesn't shut down the Gucci store? Yes.
No.
Juan shuts down the Gucci store.
No, he doesn't shut down the Gucci store. He does not at all.
He's a celeb.
Hey, guys.
Hey, we're going to need you to leave.
Okay, sorry.
No, he shuts down the Gucci store because he has fucking COVID.
Yeah, he's coughing all the shoes.
Because he's coming in with blood all over his shirt.
He's like, you guys have the cool slippers.
How much is this one? do you have any female associates
he's the goat i was how thinking about what you said how everybody just worries about
covid as if it's the sole sickness that you could get because the most sick i have been in the past five years was that was uh the
genesis before covid oh yeah genesis sickness baby oh yeah it'll get you yeah one's like went to the
dock not covid it's in parentheses just malaria gonna come for one more match consumption anyway
don't make contact with me or it's really i also brought a jar of mosquitoes that i'm going to open on stage
west nile the mosquitoes are still on me you know i was thinking about the other day because i uh i
i took a flight and i just like wearing a mask i always just wear it and now it's funny because
if you don't wear a mask you are considered like a pussy by some people but it's like you're just
those people are basically saying oh i like being sick like in general some people but it's like you're just those people are basically
saying oh i like being sick like in general oh yeah like it's just to not get sick at all we
were talking about this like when you wore a mask before covid you were just a person who's
careful like at events and stuff yeah but now your uber driver's like what's that for yeah it's like
it's like well do you like being sick and they they got to be like, well, yeah, I guess.
They're like, I think the whole thing is blowing out of proportion.
Yeah, it does suck that it's warped into a statement.
Because when I got super sick in January before COVID,
I was wearing masks on planes because it was like, yeah,
I'm very sick right now, but I need to go somewhere.
I should probably not breathe in people's faces.
Yeah.
I remember we all stole someone's mask.
There was like one person that had a shit ton of masks and we all bummed them
because we were scared of getting genosickness yeah i have a picture that i post every now and
then it's me i cut a hole in my mask and i put a cigarette in it and i thought that looked funny
uh and that was before covid was a thing so that's how covid was invented yeah that's
those are the two variables that unlock yeah
I Wu-Tang to my mask and it mixed with all the cool modern day mad men yeah it is yeah dude uh
do you see that Joe
how about you go fuck yourself from the yard patreon he paid for cameos for Josh do you guys
watch I did see that. Yeah.
One of them was from Shoe Nice.
Yeah.
Do you guys know Shoe Nice?
I didn't finish the Shoe Nice one.
I'm surprised that guy is alive.
Isn't it crazy?
Dude, I was around when Shoe Nice ate a full toilet paper roll.
Yeah.
How do you survive that?
With heart.
Wait, did he eat the core?
He ate everything.
He ate the whole thing. he ate the whole seeds and everything
the heart of the artichoke
the video of him slamming the whole bottle
of absolute vodka in 10 seconds
is crazy
dude I
I think it'd be so funny
he comes out of
all of those videos
he ends every video like like
what a fucked up porn star looks like at the end of a break just tears streaming down his face just
like sobbing like i did it for you yeah he's always like thank you do you think before he
like busts down or maybe like goes down somebody, he's like, Shoe nice.
Let's go for seven seconds.
Three, two, one.
Shoe nice eats your pussy in three seconds flat.
I'll be in that shit like shoe nice.
Dude, this is a rapper named Since 99 who's kind of adjacent to Babytron.
And he has a bar where he says eat the beat up like shoe nice. Oh that's why he's the goat that's hype yeah do you guys are you are you guys gonna replace me yeah with carl yeah you're
replaceable do you know so you want did that prove it did you finish the whole episode uh yeah
there was a part where he was like uh me and hassan were talking about like getting the front yard yeah cutting love with it we were like oh
it's fine and then i saw hassan completely like a week later at ludwig's birthday and he comes up
he's like uh yeah so i have an idea for like a podcast called the front yard with me you and
carl and he brought up independently yeah yeah i was like when he brought up the joke too i because
i heard across the room i'm like uh-oh yeah it's happening it's really happening here's the thing we can't
Carl's he doesn't live close enough
he won't move
you'll go?
you would move to North Carolina
look after I saw their setup
he signed me up brother
yeah the Iron Church was really
and I tell you what
I love Catan
and I've always said that.
I'll play Catan the rest of my life.
They did have so many versions of Catan.
I will put a picture of any CEO he wants up in my bedroom.
I don't care.
Dude, yeah.
I listened to the episode and I was like,
I was like, fuck, it's funny.
You're just going to yes man him all the way down?
Yeah.
Fair enough. Fair fair enough what do you
think we do with you i'm on the front yard i made the no man me to a too high of a degree possibly
excuse me you no man me to too high when's the last time i no manned you when you said i was
wrong about eluding oh well you were you were wrong you no i don't think i was wrong what i
genuinely think that you called it you you said eluding is when something didn't happen.
Yeah, but I still think I used it.
Rippers in your shot.
In the wrong context.
Rippers in your shot for the rest of the ep.
That doesn't punish me.
What is on your toe?
What is on your toe?
That rewards other people.
That is gross.
Oh, shit.
My grippers got the fur involved.
I wanted to.
Grippers with the fur. What's wanted i wanted to grippers with the fur
so i got the what's going on over there why are you eyeing me what the fuck is going on what
what was that i don't know something on my toe i just got it okay okay all right listen
an audio there was a there was a piece of debris on ludwig's toe that flicked almost over into his
mouth and i don't know what it was it was like a black
peppercorn or something it was very weird piece of tape it was a piece of tape on your feet uh
yeah yeah this is why we're replacing you by the way why for your three minute segments on
pieces of tape what the fuck did i do i'm funny you're funny this is fine so uh so i'm wearing
the burks aka the lesbian threes or whatever you want to call them and uh and before i bought these i reached out to phil who uh uh styled ludwig for mogul money live our stylist
designer friend we have i said i want to buy these do you like them and then phil comes back to me
and sends me the rick owens versions that the collaboration of rick owens and birkenstocks
that are much more expensive he's the only uh designer i know about and uh and i was like those are really expensive and they look better but they're they're not as
different where i'm like i just don't these are already kind of expensive i'm still gonna buy the
cheaper ones and i bought the cheaper ones and i was happy with my purchase and i wore them and i
went down to the local coffee shop where we always had to go and hang out and right when i walk in
the barista that everyone at the coffee shop we go to they all dressed fucking cool what's up with
that it's fucked up like how do i afford in that shit it's like isn't it hot
are you hot in here fucking working don't make the world i walk in and he goes yo are those the
rick owen burks and i had to say no and i understood yeah you had the falenciaga i had
the fucking ball siena goes and he's like i was like damn i should have bought the cool ones how
much were they the more expensive expensive? I don't remember.
They were very expensive.
They were like $800, $100, something like that.
Okay.
Yeah, Rick Owens is cool.
I had a friend when I played Dota, and he had a friend who was really into K-pop.
That's how I got into K-pop.
And this friend was super into K-pop groups and Rick Owens specifically.
And we all would hang out in calls all night.
And I know a shitload about Rick Owens and his whole philosophy based on just being
friends with this guy.
Yeah.
Also as someone who like dresses in Amazon t-shirts and you know, at the storefront in
LA zipper, you can find this.
If you go to Yelp and type in Rick Owens, it's one of the photos.
He's so money.
There's a, there's a bench that is, is Rick Owens and he's like upside down and he's the
thing you're sitting on.
It's really creepy.
I also, I also had an idea. I was at me and you I maybe I had this idea independently yeah that's the Rick Owens chair in the changing room I want to be him so bad I wanted to commission
someone to make one of those of Aiden and then I wanted to give it to you for your new place
oh that'd be fine I thought you would say like put it in like a park somewhere no it's Aiden
with a glass table on top and he's just like holding it up yeah and then we put it in your
living room what if we made a fuck doll of aiden oh no that's what i didn't want to he's got a
tight little butthole yeah that's what i because if you put like that rick owens bench someone's
coming on that guy's face it looked like he was ready to get plowed yeah and i don't want that
for you aiden then why i do want to make you a fuck doll no i don't want to make you you don't want that no oh i think we need to draw the line
i don't want wow i don't want aiden to get his little sweet butt fucking take why do you say
it like that then because you said it like you wanted it it is sweet but you're not saying it
like you have you're not trying to what's like like candy to me Your argument's weaker by the moment Wait It's not weak
His butt's like candy to you
But you don't want a fuck butt?
Yeah
Is
That's exactly what I'm saying
Okay
What's up?
I'm running for congress
And I'm against gay marriage
Wait
Well
Of all that
Yeah you got a sweet little candy butt
And I want it all to myself
Will you
Will your
Does that make sense to you Aiden?
Are you following?
Do you understand?
He seems confused, to be honest.
Your butt's like Skittles to my mouth.
Your butt is like Skittles to my mouth, Aiden.
Do you understand me?
Dude.
And I want you to know that.
Me and Aiden, we're gonna move on.
So me and Aiden...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Your butt's like candy to me.
Do you understand me?
I wanna wrap you in nerds rope.
Your butt's like a snickers bar
but it's all inside out yeah i want to i want to dip you in i want to dip you in flax seeds like a
like a like a fun dip your butt's like cherry fun dip to me and i got all the chalk you'll ever need. The trash chase is 20% women?
That's crazy.
Maybe 30.
Me and Aiden
last night were doing our postcards
and we all get this email
at the same time that's to bid on
potentially getting an upgrade.
You have to win the bid versus the other people.
To get a business class flight.
On our Australian flight.
And I haven't bid.
And Aiden has bid.
And I say to Aiden, I go, what'd you bid?
And he goes, I'm not fucking telling you.
Because he thinks I'm going to outbid him and try to get it from him.
Oh, that's fucked up.
This is also corporate funds.
So you need to disclose this to me.
So he's like, oh, I forgot about yeah that's right i actually i actually forgot about yeah
yeah i thought so so anyway so uh aiden aiden wouldn't tell me how much he bids so i get salty
so i go bid also for funds and i don't tell aiden what i bid okay and uh and aiden after i bid
has the fucking has the fucking gall to look at me and go,
what did you bid?
And I'm like, I'm not going to tell you.
Why did you ask? Because you can reopen it.
I thought it was all set and done.
It's not locked. Did you know you could open it again?
Yes. You dog.
What are you doing? Why would you ask me?
Are you bidding right now? Are you bidding right now
while we're potting? How much is it?
No. Dude, my bro's bidding and potting.
Dude, how much is it?
My bro's bidding right now.
Is it a lot, Ludwig?
Tell me, Ludwig.
God damn it, I missed the window.
Oh.
He bid like $1,500.
Wow.
Did you increase it?
All to be able to lay down.
Hmm.
Interesting.
No, they're pretty lit.
It's in AUD.
Oh, I know.
Oh.
AUD.
It's like seven bucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Monopoly money
Yeah
I can't believe you asked me
Yeah that's insane
Yeah cause maybe
What went through your head
Maybe
Okay this is my thought process
Is
I have nothing to lose
Yeah
Yeah you piece of shit
Except like
Dignity and respect
Yeah but he doesn't care
About those things bro
Right they're invisible
They don't count
He should have looked at me
And said may the best man win
Not what you
What did you bid I'm not telling him He can Fuck I don't count. He should have looked at me and said, may the best man win. Not what you fucking... What did you bid?
I'm not telling him.
He can...
Fuck, I don't...
He's gonna call.
Well, we can't change it.
He's gonna call and be like,
we can't change it now.
No, he's gonna call
and be like,
my dad's a pilot.
Does that mean that?
Yeah, he knows secret strats.
Don't give him this.
Yeah, he knows the fucking secret.
Fuck this guy.
Go fuck yourself.
This guy flies fucking light.
What he does is
he pulls up to the desk.
When they first arrive,
he goes,
so you know my daddy?
My daddy knows
how to fly these planes.
You know of straight line McKay, right? So i'm his son yeah they all go you walk up with some aviators
stuff my dad's hot uh can i get business class right now i'm goose's son that's
no your dad wouldn't be a goose he's a survivor he lives okay he's a maverick still is alive yeah
yeah that's what i'm saying all right well this
joke i'll make it again in like 40 years whatever wait what'd you say i'll make the joke again in
40 years when aiden's dad is dead oh you know i you know what i do think is really funny and i i
it's this is this is funny to call out i think because i don't know i don't know if it would
have played out how i thought but my parents were were in Vegas this weekend. Dude. No.
No, no, no.
We don't need to talk about that one.
His parents are in Vegas this weekend
and Aiden, I find this out
because he goes up to me.
No, I don't want to talk.
Wait, what is this?
I don't want to say it on the podcast.
I don't want to say it on the podcast.
It's a podcast.
It's a podcast.
I'm also going to vegas one night only
you're being incredibly baby don't get it goes and he goes and he goes
so my mom's in vegas this weekend and i'm like i'm like oh oh he's like maybe to link up I was like what he's like
well yeah my dad bailed so she's all alone good time she's looking for a good time yeah she's looking for a stud hold on this is exaggerated is that true is your beautiful lovely mother looking for a stud my
mommy needs a big bar she needs a she needs a maverick this is what happened this is what
happened is my my mom and dad were going to vegas this. And I was going to go meet them originally, but I could not.
Because this week just got too busy.
But for the first part, my mom got there first for a day without my dad.
Because he had something to do for work.
So he was going to get there a day late.
And my mom, when she was telling me about this trip
i told her i was like oh that's cool like ludwig and some of our other friends from around the
country are going to be in vegas for like this mr beast event and like a smash tournament and
she's like oh i finally get to meet double lift which was weird because i don't usually bring him up. And she kept asking like where you were doing the event
because I think she had this idea that she could like check out
what you were doing that weekend.
Like it was an open thing.
I'm just going to stop by.
Yeah, like a booth.
And I think I told her, I was like, yeah, it's in like the Luxor.
And that's weird weird we were sitting
in the
we were sitting in the office
and I was just like
that's how I brought it up like my mom's in Vegas
this weekend but he said it in a way that
she's not hanging out with anybody
like I couldn't link up with her after that
unless I was going to go fuck his mom
because he said it in such a sexually suggestive way
yeah well because I thought it would be funny this is what I miss out on by not being in the house and you were late to the flight unless I was going to go fuck his mom. Because he said it in such a sexually suggestive way. Yeah.
Because I thought it'd be funny. See, this is what I miss out on by not being in the house.
And you were late to the flight?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was, oh.
Oh.
Interesting.
Is that what gambling with Mr. Beast means?
Fucking.
Yeah.
Oh, I was going Beast mode.
Yeah.
No.
I helped my mom fuck one of my friends.
Anyway.
He calls his dick Mr. Beast, bro.
My dad was there yesterday, right right while you're still in vegas and my dad is texting me but there's little like typo errors and stuff
so i think my dad was drunk texting me no that was me using his phone which come on he involved
let's just say the longer they keep their hands on they went a thousand dollars my parents don't drink very much it's funny to get a drug
text from my dad because like it just never happens and think about curving it sometimes
i'm in the sky right now i've thought about turning once or twice i hope i hope the autopilot don't fail
i'm really sorry about those texts last night i would never turn up texting me a lot he's like
asking what i'm up to right now have you seen your mother he sent me like a nice thing he's like
he's like i wish uh we wish you were here like like that's that's like a nice sentiment right
and i'm still we're still doing the postcards like an hour passes and it's like a nice sentiment, right? And we're still doing the postcards. Like an hour passes, and it's like, I think it's almost midnight.
And my dad texts me again, and he just sends me,
what's Ludwig's number?
That's really funny.
Which is really funny, because I think my dad wants his number
so that he can call you to see if my mom and dad can meet up with you that night.
If she can meet up with you.
Yeah, and I just make...
I just call an audible.
I'm like,
Dad, he's at like a poker event right now.
Oh, you coward.
I don't even answer the question directly.
You're a coward.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were afraid.
You were on the stream.
You were on the stream.
I didn't want to give you...
For five minutes...
Well, he did dip out from poker.
He dipped out way early.
Yeah, played one hand.
You capped.
We turned off the broadcast.
We didn't know that. No, no. You did not turn off before I played one hand. We turned off the broadcast. We didn't know that.
No, you did not turn it off
before I left.
No, remember we kept
saying we're in Ludwig.
If it was 12,
there's a time one.
You say something about
buying in for 15K
and then I thought
you were punting 15K
and I thought you were
coming back to the stream
later or something.
No, I played one 5K hand
because I didn't want
to be disrespectful
and then I left.
He was setting up
rose petals in the Bellagio suite.
Yeah. I wish I hung out with your mom and dad i don't honestly that'd be fucking
fun imagine i run up a couple grand with aiden i actually do think my parents are fun people to
hang out with especially in that way stop saying it like this this is i just said i don't like this
i made what it what happened why are you mad he just said they're fun to hang out with. What happened? Why are you mad? He just said they're fun to hang out with.
I'm sure your dad's great too.
Listen, I would do...
Listen to me.
I would do anything for her.
That's all. I wanted to tell you.
You already gave me one chance.
I would do anything for her.
Unthinkable things.
Just know that.
We are all uninvited to Thanksgiving.
By the way. Can we go to your family reunion by the way? The family reunion? So just know that, you know, can you just, we are all uninvited to Thanksgiving, right?
By the way,
can we get your family reunion by the way?
The family,
dude,
I,
so we were talking to,
I'm going to a family reunion at the weekend after we get back from
Australia.
And,
uh,
I brought this up when it was me,
Ludwig and Yingling in the office.
And,
uh,
Yingling immediately says,
yo,
can I come?
Like,
cause he, he's's joking he just wants
to insert himself into any situation but i'm like yes you can't you actually can come if you want to
you're a lot like it would be awesome if you came with me to my family reunion that'd be
fucking hilarious yeah he immediately backs down yeah he starts asking me to buy his flight
like what i can't handle him i yelled at him earlier today i said
i cannot be there for a fucking week with you nick gingley if you're commenting on every road
sign you see i'm gonna fucking shoot myself do not do it this is we decided this last night
because we realized yingling yingling uh had bought his flight to go to australia he's coming
on the trip with us right he is not going on the same flight as us. We're all flying direct. Yingling
has a 12-hour layover
in Fiji alone.
I don't even know where that is. He said,
as an American, can I go to Fiji?
You know what he was Saudi Arabia?
You know what he unironically fucking said to us?
He's in the room and he goes,
there's no fucking Vegas
suites in Fiji.
There's only beachside hotels.
A real sentence that came out of his mouth.
He said that whole sentence.
The first time England has left the country was Vancouver like a month ago.
And I'm like, you want like the strip there?
What is your point?
He's my goat.
No.
I love that guy.
He's going to land and he's just going to have to figure it out.
I don't want to deal with England.
That's the same soul that that that's the
american tourist soul that has people go to fucking disneyland every time instead of going
anywhere else you're saying nick yingling's true calling is disneyland yeah i think he'd be happy
there yeah he would be it's safer for him anyway he's gonna rent a nice villa in fiji and and and
take photos alone oh yeah we told him for this 10 hour period the yard would
pay for one night in a in a suite in fiji if he if he took a hundred photos for a nick yingling
experience slideshow yeah we got to talk about on the episode next i would love that very much
that's a great idea but he also me and the yingling last night when aiden gave up and when
aiden goes to bed on postcards and me and Yingling are in the fucking trenches 1am finishing them all. We watched a ride
through of one of the Super Mario
World rides
that exist and he goes,
this is like Disneyland but Mario.
He's like Hassan and he goes,
I love anime.
I can't fucking.
I literally alone in a room with him
I said, yeah dude, what the
fuck are you talking about? It's a fucking
amusement park. And what did he say to that? He just didn't say anything. You should in a room with him i said yeah dude what the fuck are you talking about it's a fucking amusement
park and what did he say to that he just said didn't say anything you should respond because
when you talk you should be intending to have a response he pointed at the sky in the video and
said is that is that really the sky no or are they in a room no i'm dead i'm dead serious he goes are
they in a room and i'm like how big would the room have to be, Yingling? Today's a holiday for Yingling, if you don't know.
It's 7-10, which is National
Dab Day. It's also
National Capybara Day.
Well, the dab users
are trending on Twitter. So where are the capybaras?
No, don't say that.
No. Hey, fuck them.
Ludwig, don't say that.
Fuck them.
Don't transition into some sort of British accent.
You know why it's National Dab Day,
by the way? 7-10. Because
Noel saw his shadow. It's actually
a really dumb reason. It's because
upside down, it spells out oil.
Dude, that's just a
idea. Like some guy was sitting there and he's like
Yeah.
It's also National uh the drums in donkey
kong day because that's what they also say on them when they're flaming so oh yeah we were talking
about this at your birthday because we were arguing about like a valorant game that we played
when everybody like it just in the yard like friend server that we have and uh yingling was
playing with me for a while first before playing with
anybody else and we get into the second game and he's just like i'm so fucking high right now like
i just keep hitting my dab pen and i'm like dude just why don't you stop hitting the pen that
sounds like an easy solution for one we get into the fourth game over the course of like three four
hours is talking less and less and less and we're getting it we're finally five stacking and everybody else is uh talking except i'm not talking very much
and yingling's not talking at all and i realized that yingling hasn't said anything in almost 20
minutes and then all of a sudden pops up in the corner of the chat it says boss baby took one more
dab so high right now transcribing his like brain yeah with his boss baby smurf
account in the corner in the discord unmuted just not saying anything that's yeah well we we called
them over it was at ludwig's birthday party there's a bunch of us and uh i started like
nick and i started talking about playing valorant with aiden that night and he was like and he just
fucking he didn't do anything and he did and i'm like well let's get him over here aiden like jerry springer
like let's bring him down we have aiden in the studio aiden and i was like oh he's kind of
wanders around he's like the top frag he's like hey one and then we start explaining the whole
thing it's like you didn't do this it's this and he's like yeah and then and then he's like yeah
i thought fred and then he did yeah he's like yeah i top frag then he's like, yeah, I top bragged. And then he's like, yeah, I top bragged.
And I'm like, well, Nick, what do you have to say to that?
And he's like, he didn't molly.
He's supposed to molly.
He has a character who has it.
And then he did.
It was extremely funny.
And that brought me to another just a little topic is that all of our friends are really funny.
And at your birthday party, it was really nice.
Dude, okay.
So one quick anecdote at the birthday party, there was a bunch of gifts and i i
like i've i've had a few birthday dinners but i don't usually get that many presents and i don't
like receiving presents like even before i had any success on youtube i hated like christmas
because i would open a gift and i feel like i am bad at showing that i am grateful for the gift
even if i feel it and i and i end up looking like a robot no i am very grateful and i think it's
very nice but i like you and cutie are a robot no i am very grateful and i think it's very nice
but i like you and judy are a hilarious combo because you can't show when you're grateful
and she can only show when she's ungrateful yeah so every christmas i'd be like wow this is great
but i'm like you know i sound like a fucking shitty child actor yeah like you got socks
you don't want to hurt grandma's feeling yeah but but i do like the socks okay and so and i see this mountain of gifts at my birthday because like 30 people came
over for dinner and i'm like i'm like okay well maybe i don't have to open them in front of them
and then cutie's like okay everybody round up to the living room it's gift opening time
and i and i pull her side i'm like no i saw this on the roof yeah i heard ludwig be like i don't
want to do that i'm'm going to kill myself.
I'm not going to sit there.
It's also hilarious
because she's like,
for your birthday,
I got you a YouTube video.
And that must have been
after that conversation.
Yeah.
Because I was like,
hearing now that you were like,
your gift you got me
for my birthday
is going to make me kill myself.
It's really funny.
I was like,
I hated it before,
but now it's even worse
because now I'm like Dudley
who has like a thousand presents
and you're watching
like the millionaire
open up his gifts. I also wish 37 this year i also wish she would
have told us that the gifts were gonna go in a video because i might have gotten something
different both of you no mine's fine no mine was mine was a question mark here's the i'll give it
to you i don't know if it can but the the basic premise is that everybody got me a shirt that was a like a funny shirt because i own a lot of funny shirts and uh
and i would open them and i would show them and everyone would laugh and i would guess who got
me the shirt and there's some shirts that clearly people didn't know youtube videos in mind because
it'd be like wu-hom flu and then a bat okay hold on in defense of whoever got you that one
because it ain't me yeah whoever it was it said wuhan wild wings dangerously contagious yeah
or so sorry so good they're contagious and then there was like one and it was like it's it was
the hooters logo and it said 9-11 and there's twin towers yeah
that was cuties and it said hooters never forget no it said something even funnier it was like a
play on it it's like we wing will never forget or something like that they're crazy shirts my
favorite one was probably the one zipper got me which i wore at the burial card event which was
coots smoking weed yeah dude that shirt was so tight yeah it was very very but it's worth the next day too
the most problematic one was the native american man and it's just a stolid a native american man
just staring into the camera and it said trust the government yeah it was it was a crazy shirt
that is such a fucking insane shirt i don't know what it stands for i don't know either let me say
every shirt that came out of this night was thrifted except no no no a lot of them were like made
most of them were thrifted most of them were oh really maybe one was coots and the ones and
then atrioc one which was like i have three million subscribers painted ones too yeah oh yeah
and then the but yeah like most of them were thrifted yeah yeah that native american one was
thrifted and uh whoever saw the reason mine was so insane was it came out of a thrift store i found that oh did
i would never make that you mean no no oh my god it's so much better it's a triple xl racist t-shirt
that is parodying buffalo wild wings yeah and i was like dude i have to take this yeah or else
he'll just die well the native american one i saw at goodwill i was like, dude, I have to take this. Yeah. Or else he'll just die. Well, the Native American one I saw at Goodwill, I was like, what does this mean?
Yeah.
And I was like, well, this is a puzzle.
Yeah, exactly.
I'll get this one.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And then the only one that was made was Hassan's.
It said 9-11 was poggers.
The one I didn't give you that I thought about giving you that I kept was it's a shirt that
has the Fendi logo around the whole neckline.
But then the shirt itself is a all
over uh repeat print of the mcdonald's logo yo and then instead of saying mcdonald's it says
mcdonald's and i asked the guy at the register i said dude where did this fendi mcdonald's shirt
come from and without even looking at it he goes it's mcdonald's and i looked down and read closer
and it's just like a
he's like yeah these just like come out of taiwan he's like yeah that'll be six dollars they just
they literally just spawn from taiwan and we don't know how they exist just imagine it's one dude in
the factory just changes the file print and then that day they just have fendi mcdonald's and they're
like yeah right they ship 20 000 it'll sell hard. The one that zip to you got you,
which is a Johnny Bravo.
And it says Johnny likes on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That one's thick as fuck.
Yeah.
They were tight.
So I have a,
I have a,
I kind of want to do a photo shoot with all of them.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Yeah.
Uh,
anyway,
that's,
that's it fellas.
We're well past 90.
We gotta get to the airport.
Yeah.
You guys got a dip in dots going Australia.
You lose two days.
Have fun because you were so late, I have a punishment for you.
Okay, daddy.
Don't fart.
Don't fart.
Come on, dude.
No, they smell bad today.
I'm going to get out of here quick.
Okay, we're going to do the premium in Australia.
Bye-bye.
Bye, everyone.