The Yard - Ep. 57 - They took us out drinking. It didn't go well. (ft. Cold Ones)
Episode Date: August 10, 2022This week, we are joined by Chad & Max from Cold Ones! The boys cover the origins of Cold Ones, a night out to a sketchy karaoke bar, and mang0 getting kicked out of bars....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
he's a good boy he's a good he's he's he's he's the best boy you know how there's best girl
yeah archie is best girl girl he's already. Well for one best boy is already a thing
He's best boy Archie's our best boy, but not in the film. It's a prezzo. He's just a good boss
It's crazy. We have our editors fight each other. Ooh
In an editor battle. Yeah, I'm like I'm doing one half in the other and see who wins
Yeah, or it's editing a video or like deathmatch. I'm not sure
It's like there's there's this idea that like it's an editor fight and
they use their
skills, but it
like hurts them.
Maybe they're
hooked up to
electrodes.
Prezzo has like
four feet on Archie
potentially.
Yeah.
Prezzo's tall.
But he can't hurt
anything physically
like in his he
can't.
I don't think he
fights like he
fights like Voldo
from Soul Calibur.
Prezzo, he kind of
moves around like
this.
He is.
He is.
He's putting knives on his hands.
You could replicate that coding,
the coding fight scene from Social Network,
but with our two editors.
Yeah, and it's just footage of me and my butthole getting waxed.
Do you guys see that?
No.
We did an episode recently where he got his full body waxed
while podcasting.
I have ingrown hairs all over my legs.
Yeah, like fully nude on the table.
What's the camera angle for that?
Oh, it's...
I love that you asked.
Archie saw God
when he edited that podcast.
Our poor fucking editor and producer
who had to sit through looking through his eyes.
So only your asshole wants...
Well, Yan had to stare into my asshole
like it was a telescope. That only your asshole once. Well, Yan had to stare into my asshole like it was a telescope.
You guys met Yan.
That guy looks straight at you.
There's one.
Okay, look.
Looking at someone's asshole is one thing,
but pulling a strip of pure wax out of someone's asshole
and then dangling it like fucking fruit is different.
Have we done worse?
I think our patrons see Chad's asshole once a post.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Chad's done, yeah.. Wait, really? Yeah.
Chad's done, yeah.
There's a lot of stuff.
We got a thing off like an As Seen on TV ad where it's like a camera on a stick.
You put it underneath fringes and stuff like that.
Yeah.
So we got a- It's to put down like drain pipes to find missing rings and stuff.
Our genius idea was we got a shot of the camera and then it was going into my asshole.
And you did it?
Yeah.
Like in, in, in? Yeah. In my asshole, yeah. asshole. And you did it? Yeah.
Like in, in, in?
In my asshole, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
What did it look like?
I think the quality of the camera is so shitty.
Is there a light on it?
I don't, yeah.
I guess it just becomes a portrait.
I don't even remember.
I don't think I've even seen the footage.
We have other times where I've just full-thread asshole.
Put stuff in it. We have other times where I've just full-thread asshole. Okay.
Put stuff in it.
We've got footage of me getting nuts in my asshole
and me spreading my cheeks and then almond nuts falling out.
No one's seen that one yet, though.
We did a video where we did clay.
We both were trying to do pottery.
And on the Patreon, there's a shot where I'm spinning it
and then Chad
puts these cock and balls
like into the fucking clay
you show that
yeah
that's crazy
he's keen to show
I don't know how you do it
or to have no
I was none of this shit
ever like
once it happens like once
you're like
well I gotta fucking
play into it now
you just keep pushing it
it is an arms race
that's the big problem
like for instance
he just pissed on the floor last week just for fun because I don't live in house anymore
That's the kind of shit I used to do but he's like
Walks in the room and starts peeing on the floor
I'm just sitting on the couch watching it. I'm like, are you paying all?
Trying to drink it Sco scoop up the cat real quick
I was so worried
He cleaned it up
He did
You get credit for that at least
I can't fucking leave it there
I still live with Cutie
So there's like a line that can't be crossed
That sounds like the line is being tugged
Well Cutie wasn't home Welcome back to the yard by the way It's the yard Like a line that that kid off the cross you that sounds like the line is being
Welcome back to the yard by the way, it's the yard. Isn't it the same? It's the same set
Here we have
Who are you guys I don't even know. You even know. Yeah, bro, you literally don't know at all. I've never watched. This is actually the thing.
This is every guest, by the way.
It's never seen a guest who I ever had on,
and Anthony does not know who they are.
That's kind of a refreshing point of view, I feel, for YouTube. To me, you guys are just two goofy and wild Australians.
You met us before you met YouTube us.
I don't know which is better, though.
I mean.
Yeah.
In your opinion, who's better?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Me in person.
I think Chad is maybe more wild in person.
But only because...
You're both the same in person.
By the way.
You were worse last night than I was.
Yeah.
Yeah, things got pretty wild.
But I think you would be more wild if YouTube terms and services,
if it was allowed.
Oh, yeah. The guidelines were not being broken. There's always a little clown in the back of my head that goes,
don't do that, they'll have to edit it out.
Yeah.
Edit this footage, they can ruin it.
Meanwhile on Patreon.
Yeah, on Patreon you're throwing your dick and balls into pottery.
Yeah, but that's because I can, you know?
You're truly unleashed.
Yeah, just fuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah, we always joke about editors having
like a hard drive full of stuff that they can...
Oh, the kill switch?
Yeah.
You guys have the same like...
Oh, yeah.
Not quite the same, but...
We used to have a show called Mario Party League
where we got shirtless and played Mario Party.
And there was a taping that had to die.
There was a taping that had to die.
There was a taping that couldn't see light of day.
Yeah.
Tell me why.
No, it was just explaining.
So you guys show your podcast.
It's like you review anime, right?
And then you like, you talk about it.
But there's a third guy.
No, no, no.
It's the interview podcast.
Oh.
You guys just met Judd Apatow. Or wait, Paul Rudd. I'm sorry. That was no, no. It's the interview podcast. You guys just met Judd Apatow.
Wait, Paul Rudd. I'm sorry. That was four years ago.
Yeah. You'd be surprised how racist Paul Rudd actually is on camera.
Yeah. He had a lot to say. Yeah.
He really did. Was he like weirdly specific?
I gotta get the specifics.
He's getting through a rant at the end of it. He's like, it's back. I've known about both of you for a really long time i feel
like i was watching like max mofo pokemon videos when i was in like high school wow yeah i remember
in high school like hair cake was like a national holiday yeah yeah wait was he in hair cake yeah
i've only ever seen like one piece of hair cake i just know it's the joe you only saw
the carvings on the cave wall well i don't it's like it's like what you show uh zoomers to be
like hey you know joji check this out it's so weird that you're so that you're so disconnected
from it because you haven't seen like any of their content basically but you'll get mad at me for
like not having seen swordfish, swordfish is a great film
I was like a guy
Yeah, I grew up watching movies and shit and then and I'm the boomer
You know, so I get a bunch of shit and he hasn't watched anything except Wendover and the social network
So it's like, what the fuck?
Where do we bond? How can we bond?
You watch Wendover now, too.
That's true. We do love planes.
You guys just bond together, right?
You don't need to have likely things.
You just got to share good times together, right?
Well, I didn't really have parental guidance,
so I need media to connect to somebody
or else I'm just like a floating man.
That does actually piece a lot together
about you and me just now. You never put that
together? No. That I was raised on
television? Nope. That's crazy.
I'm fucked up. Do you guys watch YouTube
still after being part of the
blood machine for so long? For sure.
No. He does
the same thing like every time we have guests on
and I don't research at all. He does all
the research. I just show shop and force him to drink.
Yeah, but that's like more business side of things.
The only thing I watch on YouTube now,
well, it's not that I will watch.
I will watch the odd MrBeast video,
but I'm not like,
I used to be very religiously following
fucking like 10 YouTubers,
but now I'm more excited about like a RuneScape video.
Yeah, I definitely watch a lot of YouTube,
but Twitch, not at all I
don't think I've really
watched many streams like
whatsoever so like a
handful but uh yeah I
don't know Chad knows a
lot about Twitch but I
feel like I'll know a lot
about YouTube I don't
watch any Twitch
streamers I've like
traditionally just never
watched Twitch yeah I'm
70 years old so I just
watch Artosis play
Brood War like I just I
I'm disconnected there
too do you guys think when when was the first time you ever heard of Ludwig I'm 70 years old, so I just watch Artosis play Brood War. I'm disconnected there, too.
Do you guys think...
When was the first time you ever heard of Ludwig?
I'm curious.
Was it the sub-a-thon?
No, Prezzo.
No, no, no.
Prezzo.
I think that's just thirst posting about Ludwig.
Yeah, we used to have a joke in the office.
There is, through Prezzo.
We used to always have a joke in the office,
because Prezzo...
I don't know.
Would he always link about Ludwig and stuff like that?
That's when Ludwig was getting like
a thousand viewers
or two thousand viewers
yeah Ludwig called him
the F slur
yeah
he did have to
spread the word
and we always had a joke
in the office like
Prezzo's late on something
he's too busy
watching Ludwig
or Prezzo's late
or you would always say
if he didn't turn
something in
he's watching Ludwig again
so it was just
Ludwig was just
a vehicle in which to
shit on Prezzo
Ludwig and Clint
we had the
two dumb
yeah
those were like
Prezzo's
because he moderated
for Ludwig
and Clint I think
or one of them
he never moderated
for Ludwig
I wouldn't have
allowed that
I hated Prezzo
yeah
do you know why
Prezzo
he hated him
he would come
into Ludwig's chat
and be really
fucking mean
and I didn't know it was a bit.
So I remember one time
and I would see this shit because I didn't even know who it was
and I was like who the fuck is this?
And then one time during the subathon
which was like a giant stream
like thousands and thousands of viewers, Prezzo was talking
and I'm like Prezzo what the fuck are you doing in this chat bro?
Like you're such a dick every time I see you
do not fucking talk in this chat.
You're a piece of shit. I didn't even ban him i just told him off and then he had like an existential crisis yeah knowing prezzo that's just like the
the worst thing you can possibly he's actually a really nice guy i love him now but i was just like
and then we like kind of like squashed it and then i realized he was joking the whole time
and uh what sort of stuff would he say?
He would just be like, you're so fucking stupid
LOL.
Caveman shit.
And I was just like, who the fuck is
this guy? I don't know
how you guys are, probably the complete opposite
but I'm super confrontational.
Just today, someone was talking about
how me and Ludwig's commentary sucked.
One person at the smash room
I see you replying to tweets and stuff like that
I fucking cuz every time you talk to him they just stand down like little pussies
Okay, that is that is true when you meet that we wait till you meet them in a real life as well like
No, no, I have. Oh, yeah, it's the same shit
It's not even that I find it's like 90% of the time
You do net you don't even have to say anything when they meet you in real life.
They're like, oh, you're a cool guy.
Can I get a fucking autograph?
Can I get a photo anyway?
I don't really need that.
When Anthony walks up to one of these kids in real life,
I see both their health bars pop up.
Anthony's like level 50 fucking mage.
They're basically just a grunt
that is a one-hit KO.
I'm always like, oh, don't. I'm not like a psycho like i don't start shit but it's like if someone's the wrong
thing to me i'll i'll typically be like that's really weird you just probably shouldn't talk
to me or should probably just go you have crafted a an aura of fear because i talked to a few people
this weekend who saw me and came up to me to just chat a bit and then they were like yeah we saw
slime but uh i didn't really know what to say to him
or how to approach him.
So we just came to sleep.
That's a blessing.
That's a blessing.
I'm just sleeping on the floor like a fucking...
It looked like you'd fucking come off the street
with your backpack,
caught up on the ground having a nap over here.
I get those interactions as well.
We had a couple of them this weekend as well
where some guy came up to me and was like,
oh, Chad, you fat...
He's like abusing me and because he does it on
camera so they're like oh which is fine like but I love seeing the light leave
their eyes on like please don't talk to me like playing. I'm also a bit of an asshole,
and I don't only do it to the people that deserve it.
Some people come up to me and ask for a photo,
and I'm like, can I get a photo?
I'm like, no.
And they're just, same thing, leave.
But I immediately backtrack away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a bit of a psychopath,
because I really love seeing that point one second
where they think they've got to leave right now.
It's because we see so many internet comments,
and we're just like, oh, thank God,
they're so fucking annoying. And then
you get that one chance to just get back at
all of those invisible people
you know. There was this moment this weekend
I was on a setup playing Melee
with Miles who you guys met this weekend
and somebody, I think
it was Tim, Carbon maybe, and the three
of us were just playing, we were going back and forth
and it's like tradition in Smash that when
you guys are playing
like casuals on a setup,
somebody will come over
and ask for it to be tournament.
Like, hey, we need to use this for tournament.
You get up and like play somewhere else.
Somebody came up and asked us
and Miles like thought about it.
He just turned around.
He's like, no.
And he made them go play somewhere else.
And he looked at me and he's like,
we're on no mode today.
It's haram.
I've never heard of haram.
To people not in the melee community,
it sounds like kind of like,
oh yeah, I guess it's defiant.
I've never seen that.
Somebody else came up.
Also tradition,
if like three of you are playing on a setup
and there's a free setup next to you,
if a fourth person comes over and asks one of you,
it's like,
will one of you come and play with me on the other setup you don't have to switch somebody did that like a few minutes
later and then miles looked at him and he's like no i don't really want to wow and then i was like
we're in no mode so i'm like i don't want to sit here are these like the top etiquette things
you're not supposed to do yeah like 100 what's the what's the biggest no-no? Is there like one rule everyone knows?
You can't do it at Smash Tournament?
Yeah, don't shout.
There's a couple.
Everyone there was nice.
Everyone there was nice.
Everyone there was nice.
I take that back.
Going for the hug after you win.
Kill yourself.
Adding someone in the Twitter post after you beat them.
Which is basically the equivalent of hugging them after you win.
So sometimes you'll win and then you'll tweet who you beat the tournament.
And you can just write their names.
But some people will tag their Twitters.
So the person has just lost and then they get tagged in the tweet.
Yeah, you can tag them if they beat you.
But it's not cool to tag them if you beat them.
Because then all your replies,
all your notifications are going to be just
congratulating the guy that just kicked your ass.
But it's etiquette to shake, because I remember watching
a few long vids.
If you don't fist bump after a set,
it's usually because there's people.
If you don't fist bump, it is such a statement.
Which is like, you wouldn't think about it
too much. Actually, there was a pretty huge one.
It was when Salem was like public enemy number one in the community and he refused to
fist bump Armada and people went off yeah because it's like Armada's like a nice person too yeah if
the person's like a cunt then like if you don't fist bump him it's kind of it's kind of hard like
there's all these weird social kind of floaties I've never been like this was the first one I've
ever been to, Phantom.
But,
yeah,
it was interesting to see how the crowd was reacting
to certain people
winning or losing
or whatever,
and it's like,
clearly everyone hates this guy,
or clearly everyone wants
this other guy to win.
Yeah,
and if that guy wins,
no one gives a fuck.
Alex was PC'd it together.
Yeah,
we were with,
I did a thing this weekend
at the tournament too,
and he sort of like,
never watched Smash,
there's no idea anything about the game, never played it. And he's watching, he's sort of like never watched smash There's nothing no idea any about the game there played it and he's watching he's kind of like piecing all these things intuitively himself
He's like so that guy plays Steve from Minecraft
He's like but that looks really lame and we're like yes
You guys want the best player in the world to win not the second why and we're like well the other ones kind of a Wiener and he's like that makes sense. He does look like he's like you guys want the best player in the world to win not the second why and we're like
well the other one's
kind of a wiener
and he's like
that makes sense
he does look like
he's playing lame
and we're like
yes
very sharp guy
I heard him talking
about Steve
and he was like
what the fuck
isn't this a fighting game
isn't he just
playing another game
what's he doing
I love Alex
because he's like
a man man
and you know
he hasn't played
video games in 20 years and he's always been in like a man man and like you know he hasn't played video games in 20 years
He's always been in the shed making shit
Tournaments and there's a bunch of nerds like sitting around playing this game with all these different characters
You just can't piece together what the fuck is going on. He's studying them like aliens like but he's like willing to learn
He's like really
He's quietly a league grinder. He plays a lot of League of Legends apparently is he good at it
He's quietly a league grinder.
He plays a lot of League of Legends, apparently.
Is he good at it, though?
I know league grinders that are still like an eye and they punch the wall every time they lose.
I don't know if he's punched the wall.
The Venn diagram of drywall punchers and gamers
is like a circle for that game.
It's the worst of the worst.
That's where the racists come out.
Do you guys game?
Yeah, I do.
What do you play?
I play League. I play WoW. Right now, currently, you see... Are you you guys game? Yeah, I do. What do you play? I play League.
I play WoW.
Right now, currently.
Yeah. You see, oh shit,
I mean, Classic, BC.
Yeah, BC.
BC, yeah, Raiding.
Full 99,
some more Warcraft logs,
double Warglaives.
Yeah, Chad's in deep.
How many people have
double Warglaives?
A lot.
On your server.
A lot, but like,
the drop rate is
11% on one.
You need two of them.
And my guild got like off-hands.
It's pretty hard to get both of them.
That's the Sunwell, right?
No, no.
Well, Sunwell's the last tier of TBC, which is what we're on now.
Okay, okay.
And then Wrath's coming out in a few months, which is what I'll go for.
But I always say, in the equivalence of what I am as a YouTuber,
where people know me, the equivalent is people know me in WoW,
but on a smaller scale. uh I was out gambling I can't remember who it was with but
um I had two people come up to me at the casino and both of them I thought were fans and both
of them came over like yeah we we play wow together because I do I do like uh raids on
like four different characters across all different guilds and I don't really talk some
after going in and out because they're gDKPs if you know what they are.
A lot of people are going to hate me
for doing them
but it's like
what the fuck
are you talking about bro?
It's like
no sorry go ahead.
It's like a bidding system
so you carry a bunch of people
and they bid on the items
they want.
Oh wow.
Oh that's crazy.
I don't know about this shit.
So I do a bunch of those
on other characters
and I have people
come up to me like
hey yeah man
like you do GDKPs with me
on your shaman
or yeah
I used to raid
with you on GDKPs
on your warrior
and stuff like that
or I used to be
in this guild
so I'm pretty
why'd you say
people will hate me
for doing this
it's cause it's like
random hunks
it like ruins
the world of
Warcraft economy
yeah you're like
you're basically
commodifying your
services
as a non-player
that's base as fuck.
There are people in WoW who would just play...
There's an auction house where you buy and sell things,
like a real auction house, and people would
only focus on making a lot of money.
They didn't play the game.
There are foreign people in other countries that
will just sell boosts and stuff like that.
They make a living off... Because you can make
$10, which is low.
In Singapore or whatever.
That's the difference between rent or not. I don't know. You're deep in that. make a living off because you can make like 10 bucks which is low 10 bucks an hour but yeah that money goes a long way
that's the difference
between rent or not
I didn't know you were
deep in that shit
damn
I used to know
Life League as well
but I've calmed down
since then
I just get my gold
every season
and fucking
never play it again
Chad's number one
fucking game though
is the slots
at Crowns
slot machines
when me and Chad met.
We've never spoken to each other, but we've followed each other for a long time.
You're straight edge, so I had to
find something to do with you that we both enjoyed.
He came over to GG Easy where we were
at the bar, and he comes in and he's just like,
alright, who are you?
We're like, yeah, we haven't really ever met each other.
I've followed you for like two years.
I can't exactly remember why
I followed you, but I'm pretty can't exactly remember why i followed you but
i'm pretty sure there's a reason but sometimes you just follow people on twitter and you kind
of forget yeah and uh at the time i already knew he was i was like i have no idea what this link
is so we just like we figured we figured it all out and then we walked out and he was like all
right let's get a beer i'm like oh i gotta break it to him i'm like yeah i don't drink and he's
like what he's all like i saw the light kind of die immediately after i fully I fully respect people that say they don't drink.
I don't really care.
So after giving me a swirly,
we walked out of the bar.
And he's like,
yeah, something, something gambling.
I'm like, well, I do like gambling.
He like turns,
it was like a dog.
He turns to me, he's like, you like gambling?
He's like 10K right now.
We're going to walk to the crowd.
We're going to gamble 10K.
You ready?
I'm like, okay, well,
I don't want to lose 10K right now.
I'm like, if slime was here, he would love to do that. He's like, well, how much canK. You ready? I'm like, okay, well, I don't want to lose 10K right now. I'm like, if slime was here,
he would love to do that.
He's like, well,
how much can you punt right now?
I'm like, 5K.
Until we're like,
oh, we walk all the casino.
We never did five.
We did one grand each.
We did one and we left.
We were good boys.
But he taught me how to play Baccarat,
which is cool
because you can bend the cards.
I didn't know that.
I think that's the only reason
Chad plays that game.
Yeah, he just likes to fucking destroy.
I just love sitting down at the table
with a small Chinese man that's been like logging it the whole night and waiting for that one because
they do they sit there and there's a superstition so even though the odds are always the same i think
uh banker has slightly better odds he'll sit there all night like mapping it out and he'll
eventually after 20 hands we'll do one big bet that's crazy it's It's so, that's so, it's funny.
And I'm mapping it out for him.
So like,
we're already best friends because I'm playing all those hands.
Yeah,
you're doing the grunt work.
Yeah,
I'm doing the grunt work
and I'm losing money.
He's sitting there going,
yeah,
get more,
get more on the board
so I can finally go in.
Well,
Chad's trying to teach me
how to play Baccarat
and I'm like,
okay,
cool.
I'm like really receptive
to like learning new games
to casino.
So I'm like,
I'm really focusing
and paying attention.
He's like,
yeah,
so you just do this
and it's like,
you know,
it's like pretty much 50,
50 is where they take a rake and then he loses. Like, oh, bad luck. And he goes again, he loses. He goes again, paying attention. He's like, yeah, so you just do this. And it's like, you know, it's like pretty much 50, 50. That's why they take a rake.
And then he loses like, oh, bad luck.
And he goes again, he loses.
It was again, he loses.
It's a $200 minimum table.
So he's just losing, losing, losing.
And then eventually he just loses like a thousand dollars in like,
like 30 seconds.
But like the Chinese superstition,
I knew when the 50 to one Tiger win was coming.
So I put 50 bucks on the 50 to one.
It was a 25 bucks.
I can't remember.
It was a super six.
It was a super six.
And it hit first try.
It hit first try.
It was not a Tiger.
It was a super six.
And then we leave.
By the way, long story short,
this is a gambling story with so many of this.
Long story short,
we go down like a grand each.
And then he walks over to a fucking slot machine
and he just punches it
a few times
with $35 in.
He just punches it
a few times
and he pulls out a ticket
and he's like,
yeah, I just won $1,000.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
I've never done
anything like that.
That's Minecraft
but for degenerate gamblers.
It is ape,
hit button,
flashy line.
He was just chopping a tree
with his hand.
Yeah.
The slowest way possible.
But people at home,
the way it worked
was I won $100
on a spin
just luckily
and then you can
gamble your win
on the slot
for 50-50
no they do that here?
yeah they do that here
dude they did that on the
or you can pick a suit
to get like
four times
four times
and I just
you turn around
for one second
with some other people
I just turn around
I said red red black
I went red red black
and I just withdrew like 1,300 it was very surreal because there was like a 10 second strip where like a group of
like nine women recognized him and all freaked out he won a thousand dollars and then we just
kind of left and i it was like this very it was like a movie like a solar eclipse just happening
right there in the casino i was getting fucked though because because he kept telling me like
people are going to walk up to the table
and you're going to play stupid
to get them to leave.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
People walk up,
I'm like, well,
it's time to play stupid.
I lose.
He splits tens,
always wins.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like,
what the fuck is going on?
But I have fun.
Yeah.
Honestly, but I have fun.
You just also win.
Wait, you said
you did Pokemon content?
You know, it's funny,
we were hanging out
with our friend
and his girlfriend
it's like I'm talking to my dad
I'm your dad right now
but it's funny because his girlfriend was like
oh yeah I used to watch him do Pokemon stuff
and I'm like don't they like slam
fucking beers like chads on that
channel like what happened
what happened along the way
yeah
that's just my
that's my
passion channel
Pokemon cards
oh cards
yeah
yeah yeah
collecting cards
he's on let's plays
for Pokemon games too
well I had like
do you guys know Worcester
he's a speed runner
for Pokemon
way back when like
Twitch was just breaking out
he was just a rude guy.
He's Australian.
Sounds like any Australian.
Was he rude or was he just Australian?
No, he was rude.
He would just scream at his computer.
He had to reset to get the Squirtle he wanted and he never would.
He was like, fucking stupid.
That's an Australian.
But I don't know where he went.
I was wondering if you guys have seen. Yeah But I don't know where he went and I was wondering
if you guys have seen.
Yeah,
we don't all know
each other.
What?
That's crazy.
You say it like it's stupid
but over the course
of this weekend
it does feel like
you all know each other.
Yeah,
it was pretty unreal
that like
all of our Smash friends
have pretty much met
you guys at some point
or another.
But we all go to
the same bars and I know Callum and a bunch of other like Cob guys at some point or another. But we all go to the same bars.
Yeah.
I know Callum and a bunch of other people.
Like Carbon as well.
It's funny that we all connect by someone.
I met a lot of new people though.
Yeah.
Because there was so many.
There was just so many.
At one point we were at...
Smash Bros.
What was the alley called?
Spice.
Spice Alley.
And everyone had come a little bit more.
It was like three or four people at a time. Five more people at a time. And the Spice Alley, which. And everyone had come like a little bit more. It was like three or four people at a time,
five more people at a time
and the Spice Alley,
which maybe fits like
a hundred people,
half of it was us.
Maybe more than half.
I feel like we had,
because we had,
Ludwig took a video
of everyone exiting
and the video was like
five minutes long.
Yeah, yeah,
it was a good video.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was like,
it was literally like Top Gun
when everyone's in the bar
and fucking Miles Teller
is playing on the piano
except there was
a movie. I actually haven't seen that one. That's a funny part. bar and fucking miles teller is playing on the piano except there was you like that movie
i actually haven't seen that one
yeah literally got a private screening to top gun maverick and we all went except for him
the fucking movie guy oh man you fell off i was sleeping i'm a sleeper yeah you're sleeping
i just catch naps like it's my fucking job you know you guys so you're a little you're a little muted right now
you guys got like cereal in your skull
as of yeah I wanted I wanted
to bring this up because um I
message if you pull up video
no not that thank god that'll come later
but I message Max
I'm just like uh
I say what's the address where we're recording
and then he just I don't know if camera
can see this he just sends me a picture of this guy.
Oh, it's Logwig.
What?
No, it's not.
No, it's Logwig.
It's Logwig.
It's not Logwig.
All right, so this is a guy.
If you go to Twitter and you type in Logwig,
that guy will pop up.
It's the Twitter account, Logwig.
Logwig, yeah.
Oh.
So we have a meme.
Oh, you have brain rot. Yeah, the inside joke is that
anytime we talk about Ludwig,
we're secretly talking about that guy instead.
He sends me the photo,
so I say, do we have a time?
And then he just says, I am rotting.
And I like that
because I've said the same thing just in general so just whenever so
pretty much getting no answers so yeah you guys kind of had a bender last night
we went on for three days straight for some reason yeah we did ludwig when he came here on friday
hopped on a flight hung over went to sy Sydney, drank again,
woke up,
started drinking with breakfast. I was drinking until 3am last night.
Now you're drinking again. We had Bloody
Marys for breakfast.
I feel like that's a good way to do it.
I don't think I've really started that early before
but it makes you start
wrapping up the night a lot earlier.
Otherwise, I feel like it goes on longer if you start
drinking. You're saying drink in the morning.
What do you mean wrap it up?
We went to bed at 3am.
That's early for us, isn't it?
No, it's because we got kicked out of
everywhere and we couldn't get in anywhere. We had to go home.
Speaking of kicked out of everywhere,
the fucking mango saga last night.
The mango saga started
at like 7.
Are we allowed to talk about this?
It is funny. We have a really strict rule in Australia Yeah, but Mango's saga started like seven... Are we allowed to talk about this? Yeah.
It is funny.
It is funny.
We have a really strict rule in Australia,
and it's our alcohol laws.
So a big no-no is taking a beer from one venue and out of the venue.
That's the first big no-no.
That's big trouble.
Then trying to take it into another venue.
You can lose your liquor license.
So Mango and...
If you let people do it. If you let people do it.
If you let people do it.
I think they were just watching
everyone else kind of do it as well,
though,
because we were all sort of just
walking around with cans and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Mango and...
Who was...
Joey.
And Joey
both walked in
with a beer in their hand.
And the bouncer was going to be like,
fucking yank.
Like, just hated America.
He just hated it instantly.
So I drew up. I'm like, oh, no, on like oh no no sorry they're with us like they just got
here they're drunk like he's like no I gotta kick him out con them back in so I
went to the bouncer like what's it gonna take I didn't know I was gonna fucking
take I'm not we're going I'm not walking with 30 people again to find another
bar is too much so I was like what's gonna take many it's like I was like
hundred bucks he's like nope and I was like 200 he's like nope he's like I was
like 300 he didn't believe me I'm assuming it's like I was like 100 bucks. He's like nope I was like 200. He's like nope. He's like I was like 300. He didn't believe me
I'm assuming it's like you knock your 300 dollars for that render box. They went in
Dude, but the bouncer came out to me after and realized that we know we were Australian was like, oh, yeah
Like I thanks like you look off them like I'm sorry. I got so angry. He was really really nice at the end
Yeah, we didn't give the money back no I didn't tell that story it sounds like it
wraps up nicely that's just like that's the intro to the main story then I take
a shit after I beat mango in a fucking bitch because he's been on me all night
like yeah I can drink a beer quicker we've kind of been tying and he's been
winning some I's been winning some
I've been winning some
but I'm like
get me with the cup
the glass
yeah he was also like
you won't beat me
with the glass
yeah that was a big thing
it's not gonna happen
that was a big thing
is you really wanted
to drink out of a glass
because Mango was just
long necking
so I grabbed that glass
and I fucking smashed it
in front of him
put it down
walked away
and I went and took a shit
and you were in there
for some reason
while I was shitting you invited me in there for some reason while i was shitting
you invited me in there for some reason like he's a like there's only one toilet i was like i need
to piss he's like i need to piss and i was like there's only one toilet and it's one room with
the door lock i get in there i need to shit but he's like oh yeah just come and piss in here with
me i was like how did you So I pissed in the sink while he pissed in the toilet.
And then he was like,
I need to shit.
Did you just wait for him to finish?
I pissed in the sink. You pissed in the sink,
but he was shitting, right?
No, he was pissing
and then he realized
midstream that he needed to shit.
I see.
Yeah, but did you wait
for him to finish the shit?
Were you there the whole time?
No, I think he was too shy.
I think he waited.
Yeah.
I see.
So while I was shitting,
I don't know what the fuck
happened while I was shitting, but't know what the fuck happened while I
was shitting
but Mango
got kicked out
and I don't
really know
what happened
so
I'm assuming
he does this a lot
like play wrestles
with people
and fights people
that is the
Norwalk
yeah so he was
doing that with
Ludwig
and he was
going so long
that it was
kind of like
everyone was like
okay it's past funny now but he just wouldn't stop he's just it was going so long that it was kind of like everyone was like okay
it's past funny now
but he just wouldn't stop
he's just punching his legs
well he hasn't won yet
yeah he's been
he's linguine
so Ludwig often says
that when he fights Mango
he's like
you have to
sleeper him out
you have to kill him
that's what he said
he just doesn't give up
he's at the heart of a champion
yeah so
it got to the point
where people were
holding him back
and put like a barricade of stools between ludwig so he was like he's a minecraft cow yeah he's like
yeah he's in like a safe box area and he was still like clawing trying to get over just to
fucking swing and it was like there was no stopping him but uh he had a smile on his face the whole
time but then uh obviously at some point we're to get kicked out if he didn't stop.
And what happened with...
Do you remember what happened with the...
Oh, that's right.
I think the bartender said, you got to stop.
And then he was like, fuck you.
Yeah, he said, fuck you, the bartender.
So then he got thrown out.
And then he kept trying to get in.
And the big married...
This is when I came out
because the
the bouncer
had to keep pushing away
from the door
and like
could have easily killed him
it was double his size
yeah the bouncer was fucking huge
half of
okay so half of the group
that had gone out
the bar that they're at
is on the corner
of like an intersection
and the other half of the group
went to the other bar
that is on the opposite corner
of the intersection
so you have a straight like diagonal view from the window of the bar that I'm
in to the outside of the bar that they're at.
And we're watching the mango get kicked out saga and him continue to fight
people in the street.
Like all this play out in the distance and watching like little mango,
like fucking trying to punch people in the way on the sidewalk.
It was like Pulp Fiction and mango was the briefcase everyone had their own storylines surrounding mango
happening in silence from across the street like you're just watching him in the distance and we're
all we're all like kids like up against the window watching it unfold and then some of us were like
well we gotta go over there like we gotta go see what's going on
right why did he presumably has gotten kicked out because he's trying to fight people
somebody you were saying don't change the channel
and we we go across the street i say hi to mango it's like what's going on man he's like well let
me fucking in and uh i look at the bouncer because i want to go inside and talk to ludwig
and i give him my passport.
And he's like another fucking yank.
Like,
like I'm about to do the same fucking thing.
You're just the next mango.
And he's like,
no,
I can't bro.
And I'm like,
I don't know if you can see me,
but I'm a lot thinner.
Like,
you're not going to have any problems.
You caught you the day before.
You might've been a problem.
Uh,
yeah,
but that was not a problem.
All you do is smooch people. That's okay. You get gay when you're drunk. Yeah. Well, the day before, you might have been a problem. Yeah, but that was not a problem. All you do is smooch people. That's okay.
You get gay when you're drunk.
The problem is
Ludwig gets gay back and then also
tries to fight me. Yeah.
He gets mean gay.
Yeah. If you will.
And I'm nice gay.
There's a video from the previous night
that I'd forgotten about.
You show me of me tackling Ludwig
in the private karaoke room.
We're at.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I'll just send all these videos to Archie
and Archie can just like overlay them while we talk.
Yeah, there's one video of Aiden tackling Ludwig
and choking him.
And Ludwig's like faking like he kind of likes it.
And he's just like taking it.
And then like, and then Aiden gets off of him. And then Ludwig just starts singingaking like he kind of likes it. And he's just like taking it. And then like Aiden gets off of him.
And then Ludwig just starts singing whatever song is being sung.
Because we're at a karaoke bar.
Which, by the way, this fucking karaoke bar.
It was sketch.
This was the moment I realized you were funny, by the way.
This was the exact moment.
I'm kind of a fan of the man.
It took me that long.
This is the same thing with Carl.
Did you say in your MPDs?
When you said this to Carl, it was like Carl was like,
we had hung out the whole
day. He's me
pilled. I have this
strict barometer for funny things
and it just
snaps out of my head. I've met
YouTubers who make funny content and they're just not
funny in real life and you're like, aww.
But this is when I realized you're both.
I don't know what I did, so
I'm kind of scared. We're at this karaoke bar
with the very top of the staircase. It's like a fucking
nine-story building. And we go to the
top and there's this guy wearing a suit who's
sitting in the shadows on his phone.
In the shadows. And we walk by and
Shag kind of looks at him and looks back at us and
looks at him and he goes,
do you have a quest?
I just started laughing.
I have no recollection.
And the guy doesn't respond.
And he was scared.
And he turns to me
and he goes,
do you see him too?
And I look over
and I'm like,
I see him.
And he's like,
does he have a quest for me?
And I'm just laughing
and I'm like,
I got nothing for you, Chad.
You said,
I am a level 98 warrior.
And finally you,
you,
you kind of go,
you could go,
you said,
I'm going to touch him.
I grabbed you.
I'm like,
you're not going to touch him.
And you're like,
I got to touch him.
And I'm like,
this is a stranger.
You're not going to touch.
No,
you got to touch him.
You turn to him one more time and you go,
do you have a quest?
You say it again.
He gets off his phone.
He walks inside and he winks at you.
And he says you and he says
My question is completed
And you said that guy just ordered code
About to get a bag from his dealer and he's getting a drop off that's why he walked
back in because he knew it was coming to him oh that's what you mean by ordering okay yeah
he just called it in he literally called it in yeah three kills three because that place
everywhere in that karaoke bar was another funny thing was i knew exactly what type of place it
was when we walked in every table was glass i was like yeah people aren't coming up here to
sing karaoke and drink yeah okay well it was also the type of karaoke bar that took
photos of all of our IDs
that's standard in Sydney
why? I'm going to end up on a fucking
poster somewhere
you'll lose a kidney next time you come
but it was the same thing we went to order drinks there
and usually a bottle of soju is like 8-10 bucks
which is still pretty expensive then
but we went up and Scott was like
the guy behind the counter was
in this weird accent I don't know it was Chinese we sound Russian
and I was like $38 for soju? He's like yes and he's like because they blacked out all the
prices on their menu so they can just charge whatever they want. Yeah just like it's whatever I feel like it is right now.
That's funny because they yeah because they wrote the menus like you just not fucking have the
shits and just say numbers. Yeah. Wasn't it $38 for a
bottle of soju?
I just said that.
Are you blacking in
and out?
No,
I thought you said
bot just,
I didn't realize
you specified the
bottle.
He didn't promise us
that he would black
out every 10 minutes.
So we can't be mad.
I remember Scott
getting around and it
was $400 for just a
couple of drinks.
And then I went back
and got one bottle of
Grey Goose because
I was like,
well,
this will finish off the night.
And some Long Island Iced Teas.
And the Long Island Iced Teas
were watered down.
Like you couldn't taste any alcohol.
Yeah, it just tastes like iced tea.
I was not getting drunk off them.
And the bottle of Grey Goose
was like the smallest.
Well, you know how there's
like a standard bottle
and then there's a really big bottle?
Never in my life
seen a small bottle.
They gave you, yeah,
they gave you the tiny ass bottle.
Which I was confused by
because I realized
I'd never seen one either.
Also, the Long Island iced teas, because I was pretty
fucked up, and I tasted it,
and I was like, this doesn't taste like alcohol at all.
And I was just like, maybe I'm just too drunk to taste it.
He's just like...
Yeah, Aiden leaned to me, and he was like, that one's not
alcohol. And it was the Long Island.
And I didn't drink it, because I'm just like, I don't fucking trust
any of these losers. And he's like, that one's
a mixer. I'm like, cool. I'm not gonna I don't fucking trust any of these losers and he's like that one's a mixer I'm like cool
I'm not going to drink that
yeah and they put it all
in clear cups
so you know what you're drinking
like clear drugs
so before you
have to test taste it
I did a lot of smelling
that night
yeah
I did a lot of
you did a lot of licking
one of the nights
we should delete that video
honestly
it's too late
on the article
it's posted
before
wait is that
that's the one you posted
it was on twitter
yeah
okay
it's funny because
it's completely
out of context right
because we don't
we didn't also post the video
that Ludwig had taken off
his shoes
and walked around
the karaoke bar
right well that's what
I was going to say
can we give some context
with how
sticky that floor was
yeah so we walked in and it's like a rubber floor.
No, it was carpet.
Which is what makes it more surprising.
I thought, dude, that's gross that I thought it was rubber.
Because that just means it was sticky.
Yeah.
It must have been the type of carpet that they have at school.
It was.
It was.
It was really thin.
So we walked in and it blew my mind.
Because I'm like, how the fuck?
Even if you spill a soda on carpet, how do you stick to it have to you need a lot of soda right yeah it has to be more
soda than carpet down to the concrete a millimeter beneath it and ludwigs his fucking shoes off for
some reason everywhere we went he's like the same thing we went out the other night he was just
wearing crocs so he could just kick him off at bars and just walks around in his socks
he's walking around in this this is a new. He doesn't do this at home. Really? No.
He's trying to blend in with the locals.
Yeah, 100%.
Ludwig is just a guy.
And I forget this a lot.
He's just, sometimes he's just like,
I'm a guy.
And he just fucking lives like a weird little waste guy.
He was such a happy bear this trip.
He was a happy bear.
Yeah, he was having a good time.
He's walking around in the fucking,
in the Pepsi dimension on the carpet.
It's so funny he was so pumped to be here
because two months ago he was talking to us
about how Australia seems like a boring
trip. Yeah, he was so
fucking not pumped on coming here.
And all of a sudden he's like, oh, there's YouTubers
there. Which is good. I'm glad he changed his mind.
Well, let's get back to it. He's walking around
and this disgusting
karaoke floor. Yeah, and Chad just fucking says Well, let's get back to it. He's walking around and this disgusting
Karaoke floor. Yeah, and Chad just fucking says it's my turn
He looks over me. He says film this
Trust me
Everyone in the room you said film this like I was filming a lot that night So you knew I would be reputable and. And so I pulled my phone out, and then you just take a big lick.
At one point, it looked like you wanted a bite, but you held back.
It's like an ice cream cone.
You don't want to hurt your teeth.
Yeah.
That was feral.
That was feral.
That was feral.
Meanwhile, Cutie's at home just like, how do I deal with this?
She gets weirdly jealous when other men platonically smooch Ludwig
or hug him or when he does that.
For some reason, she's like,
what the fuck is that? Why are they doing that?
There was one time where she was like,
well, how would you feel if I kissed one of my girlfriends?
And Ludwig was like, alright.
He's probably cheating on me.
It's just a video of me licking his foot
I'm glad I was drunk
because I feel like if I remembered the taste
I'd be really upset
I just can't
I can't fathom how sticky the floor was
it was carpet
and he was walking
because I'm ashamed of it
my first time meeting Max he was pretty fucked Because I'm ashamed of it. And he saw my first time meeting Max.
And he was pretty fucked up when I met him.
And we're at the karaoke bar.
And every single time the mic gets past you, you'd never sing.
You're just going.
Over and over and over and over.
I wanted to know, is this something that started before that night?
It was like the this something that started before that night? No, it was like
the night before
that started, I think.
So what was the thought process?
You just didn't want to sing?
I just like making that sound.
Yeah, that's great.
Because this fall...
I think Artra had a bit more alcohol.
I sang a little bit,
but I still spread
a couple of those in there.
I actually think that you two
would be really good friends.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I think because...
We talked a little bit that night.
Anthony also really likes
making loud noises so much so he moved out because he wanted the ability to make loud
noises at any time of day dude i'll be shitting in my bathroom alone alone in my house and i'll
just be like oh all right he has this bit where he screams in excruciating pain while he shits.
That's while we were in our Airbnb on this trip.
He's fucking in her tiny-ass bathroom.
You just hear a scream from down the hall.
It's going to be the boy.
You'd be like the boy who cries wolf at some point, though.
You would have a problem in there, and no one would come and help you.
No, they would.
They still differentiate. Because they're good enough friends that they'll
come every time and i believe that did you have to move out though yes if i if i if this is if i
blow out my my if i pink sock myself in my own house i'm probably not gonna make it but that's
the risk you take but yeah that's that's... You know what? I just want attention. I just want to remind my friends that I love them.
Well, you're still doing it alone.
Maybe he's just reminding himself that he's still here.
It could, dude.
Deadass.
I think I'm genuinely like...
He's just like fucking slapping himself.
I see myself.
It's like when you look at yourself in the mirror and like,
fuck, that's me.
What the fuck?
Like every couple months this happens.
I don't know if it happens to you guys, but like it's kind of that.
I'm not drunk.
I look at myself in the mirror.
I go, oh yeah, you look good.
Yeah, I think I'm back.
Someone sends me a photo or video of me the next one.
I'm like, I did not look good.
What the fuck?
No, you did.
Because the way, and this is the last time I'll bring it up,
the way you licked that man's foot.
Stop.
It was like there was free pussy in the center.
The confidence was unreal.
I was like, if I can do anything the way he's doing that, I'm good to go.
My favorite part of that video is it's kind of funny on its own,
where it starts, but then when it pans to Ludwig's face.
Yeah.
He's the one that's disgusted, not Chad.
You owned him. You won, right? You fucking beat him because he was like, ooh. when it pans to Ludwig's face. He's the one that's disgusted, not Chad.
You owned him.
You won, right?
You fucking beat him.
I don't think I won anything.
What was the prize?
Beating Ludwig.
Do you know why?
It's hard to find him in spots where he possesses shame.
It's really difficult.
You can't say, Ludwig, you did this and made me feel bad.
Ludwig, you did this and you should feel bad. He's just like meep He hit infinite money glitch and now he feels no shame
But that hit him where it hurts and I'm proud of you for that. I needed that
I'm glad I'm glad everyone who watched the videos I took of that night looked at me and said you deserve an award
Because it paints every person in the story like every there's like 10 clit. I'll just put all of them in the patreon discord
But uh, there's like 10 I'm gonna need to put all of them in the patreon discord but uh i'm gonna
need to review those first yeah we'll pass them through yeah you guys just join the patreon and
review them so and i'll review and i'll review chad's there's like there's like one and it's
like alexa and he's like singing misery business then it goes to aiden he's singing misery business
and it's like alexa pointing it i did a thing and alex and alex is like finishing off the song it
was just like so that's my favorite one.
He kept asking to watch it.
I haven't seen it. Can I see it now?
Yeah, I'll show you now.
It's just the embodiment of
the night, I think.
It was a real shit night
until it was all
really sad. We walked into this karaoke room
all empty, all sat down like a bunch of virgin
men in a circle. I was yeah, what are we doing?
Here's the karaoke video when Haley Williams hits I'm gonna play like Christian Covendale and you know what I want cause God is real That's so cute
That is just dudes being dudes
That's great, dudes rock
One more, while we do this
Archie will just show it on the fucking pod
Oh yeah
For a different angle, yeah
Aiden's just like, yes please, yes
And then he gets back up
the fight's not over
there's the sound effect
what is that yeah that's the thing
did you hear him in the background
that's the sound
the thing is
the thing is with the
it caught on so by the end of the night
every time you started it,
four people would join in.
But this carried to last night where we're just sitting,
we're sitting at the bar and everybody's doing it.
I like that.
Right at the very end,
you kind of catch yourself in this beautiful moment.
Cause like you have all the attention like a kid.
You're like, wait a minute, what do I do with this?
And then you just yell again.
It's very human.
What a great night.
Yeah, it was good.
I was a little worried because karaoke bars
when you're sober are not as fun.
They're not.
They're not fun at all.
But it ended up being pretty fun.
I felt bad for you because you're the only one sober
and I'm like and I'm like man
You gotta deal with us, right? That was a good time because no one was so fucked that they couldn't like that. They weren't fun
So there's a level that's like drunk annoying drunk and then fucked and that's when it's like mango, you know crawling around
That is like a free Netflix series
We had this bar that stayed open for us.
They closed at 9, but they just stayed open
until midnight for us because we were hanging out.
This is where we gathered to tell
the saga of Mango. Whatever we knew.
So people would come in.
It was like Laura around the game.
Different data points that gathered from the night,
but everybody had walked through the same streets
from the venue.
So everybody had encountered Mango at a different point in their evening.
So it was this collective,
like collective story being told you.
I feel like you put the final pieces together by finding Kalen at 5.
AM.
Yeah.
5.
AM.
We met up at wild man hours.
Cause I had to trade him his controller for a jacket that he gave me.
And then he just told me like the,
the end,
it was like the decoder
of the entire night.
Like the little ring
you get in the cereal box.
But it was...
Well, at the table,
it was like,
everyone was so loud.
At one point,
Scott was fucking playing
the, what was it?
The Deez Nuts song.
I think it's just
the first result
when you look up
Deez Nuts on YouTube.
It wasn't even...
It was on Spotify, wasn't it? But he was playing... He was it, but he was playing 10 minutes playing this song over the music of the bar
Who is playing the music please turn it off
You would have killed yourself because
the music please turn it off please you would have killed yourself because at some point one of these two fucking jim okers goes give me the gayest drink you
have no he ordered the gayest drink for me
the drink that I just go ball in it the bartender looked at me when I said he's
like I got you I was like what is he I got you the drink has a disco ball it
comes with a light and a speaker.
It was a fucking party.
That's where the speaker came from.
While Max drinks it, he holds it all up
around him.
You're sipping out of the disco ball.
As it rotates and lights up,
the little Bluetooth speaker play music
and smoke catching all the lights.
Did we get videos of this drink?
I think so.
The drink menu, in print, it just says, in cursive, the gay. Did we get videos of this drink? I think so. I think somewhere. Something has it for you.
The drink menu,
like in print,
it just says,
in cursive,
the gayest drink we have.
I was confused
because I didn't know
you ordered it for me.
I was like,
what did I order?
Did you order it for your birthday?
I was like,
am I being pranked?
Or did I just order
like a plain sounding drink
and it just happens
to look like that?
Yeah,
so,
but basically,
it was so loud
there's two songs playing at once everyone's screaming there's nothing you could say to
quiet this table down but the second someone said i just saw mango everyone goes oh
everyone listens yeah who ran in and said that it was me
i left my sweatshirt at the venue while we're at this bar i'm like i'll be right back i have
to walk across the street walk across the the street. But before I get there,
this guy,
like,
I don't know,
stops me in the street.
He's like,
Hey,
you know,
mango,
right?
I'm like,
yeah.
And he's like,
he needs help.
And I'm like,
Oh no.
And I'm like,
and it's like,
yeah.
And like,
I see like the four challenges or my quest pop up and it's like,
save mango,
find lucky.
And I'm like,
ah,
shit.
So I follow this guy and he,
there's mango and these fucking two minions with him who are just like talking to him but mango isn't responding and i walk up and i
bump him like mango let's get you home bud and we're gonna get you an uber and all all he knows
how to say all his npc dialogue is is coded to be is where's lucky or where's joey and i'm like
i know i gotta find joey so i go find joey i bring him to mango the quest ends and i come back and
when i tell everyone i have more pieces of the puzzle
everyone quiets down everyone's so excited to hear
it's like Morpheus
is fighting Neo and everyone gets up
I had left him before
I met you guys at that bar I had left
him as he was leaning up
against the window of the opposite
bar and people were
fake pouring drinks into his
mouth through the window but people were fake pouring drinks into his mouth through the window.
I saw pictures of that. People are actually
pouring the drinks out like on to
on to the window, on to the table
as he like, yeah,
one of those ice slides at
parties called where they goes down the ice and it
goes into the mouth. Was it like that? Yeah,
exactly.
Yeah, he was just like
an ape, like in an enclosure.
It was like watching a dog.
There is a, I think there's a video as well with him banging on the window.
Yes, I saw that.
And then there's another one of him, I think, pressing his bare ass against the window.
He pressed his ass against him.
It was like watching a dog lick a picture of a cake.
I saw a tweet the next morning that someone had just liked and I didn't follow them or
anything. It just said, oh, man, Melbourne wildlife is wilding
or something like that.
And it just mangoed up on the fucking mirror.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just being a feral being.
It was awesome.
He was retweeting all of those as well, right?
The next day.
Yeah.
The best thing is he can just stand up at the end
and still be the fucking goat at the game.
What does he say the next day after that behavior
has happened?
Do it again.
Is he just like,
that was cool,
that was a good night.
That was fucking wasted.
He's like,
I was pretty drunk.
All right, well,
fuck H-Box and let's play Mellon.
He's pretty good
at being a nuisance
without inconvenience
anyone else.
It was more of a show for us
than we had to look after him.
I knew he could
take care of himself,
so him running around
with his ass on the screen was just
fucking funny
he only truly
becomes like someone
to watch out for if like you're Ludwig
because there's something
in his DNA just wants to attack
Ludwig and defeat him in physical combat
but he can't Ludwig's stronger
he's always going to be more lucid
he's just going to choke him out but like I don't know so if you're not Ludwig Mango's he's always gonna be more lucid he's just gonna choke him out but like
I don't know so if
you're not Ludwig
Mango's fine I
remember someone saying
like this is all your
fault Ludwig you
shouldn't beat him
fucking at this like
whenever time like this
is why he has this
rage for you and he's
just gonna keep coming
for you yeah it's real
shit they like they
like to gamble large
amounts of money versus
each other when I
stream and play like
Mario Kart and shit I
think I think Ludwig
just kind of owns his house at this point and has a tab that's like this no it's the other way around now it large amounts of money versus each other when they stream and play Mario Kart and shit. I think Ludwig just
kind of owns his house
at this point
and has a tab
that's like this.
No, it's the other
way around now.
It turned on them recently.
Ludwig owes them
like 9K or something
like that.
Oh, shit.
But this changed.
It all changed
very recently.
He still hates him?
That's a true hatred.
He still hates him.
He's up.
Well, maybe because
Ludwig won't pay him out.
He's always saying
Ludwig hasn't paid me yet.
It's because Mango
doesn't pay.
That's the problem.
None of these guys will pay each other
and it just keeps bouncing back.
Until someone dies.
Mango won't even sign his W9
to get paid for tournaments.
No, he won't.
I've tried to send him his W9.
I don't think he knows what it is still.
I don't know what to do.
He won.
We held an online Smash tournament
back in COVID.
And Mango placed... I forget if he won it or he placed really, really high,
but we owed him like eight grand,
because Ludwig put a bunch of money to make it something cool.
And I was like, okay, Mango, how do you want this money?
And he's like, can you get it in cash and drive it to my house?
It's like eight grand, and I'm like, I guess.
And then we just never did it it and then he lost it gambling
Which is hype I'm proud of him for just kind of being like a fuck it
I've noticed a reoccurring thing with everyone that we've met this weekend as we all really black gambling and oh, yeah concerned
It's just have you heard Ludwig's $100 story
$100 story. Oh, well it was was back when we didn't have nothing.
Before Ludwig was streaming or doing YouTube or anything.
It was just when he was double or nothing.
What does that mean?
It was at you and he's a legit poor.
He doubled or nothing when his bank account hit zero.
And he didn't have the money to back up the bet.
And he won.
And he won.
Because he hit a mashing minigame and I couldn't hang.
It was pretty high.
You know that meme?
Don't stop gambling. Yeah, the diamonds with the diamonds? Yeah, you will win.
Get it twisted.
We're big trainwrecks watchers at home.
Yeah, we all are.
My god, my legend.
It's like the fireplace.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, the trash boys showed up and we rolled around
like 2am
I love those boys
if you were even
there was this weird moment
because
at the start of the night
it was like a group of 50 people
so we were like
oh we need to disperse
we can't
be running the streets
with beers in our hand
going on
Chapo's kept saying
you guys
you guys don't know about trickling
we gotta trickle
trickle
he kept talking about trickling
so he had a
he had a strategy.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that where you go
place to place
and lose a few drops
at a time or what?
People need to leave
in small, small groups,
small segments.
Oh, right, yeah.
You can't just roll up
to any fucking bar.
It's just civil engineering
at that point, really.
But just getting hammered.
There was a point
where Ludwig was like,
I can't, I can't do this anymore.
And he grabs,
Alex grabs him and goes,
follow me.
Ludwig turns around and grabs Scott
it's just all who's in
arm reach at this point
and we just start and we
left you behind actually
because we couldn't reach
you yeah and we just
fucking bolted in which
by the way well I just
say mango got thrown out
of that bar as well after
you guys left a different
bar yeah we got at this
point he's going for high
scores yeah maybe we got
thrown out of three bars
that's pretty good
that's my goat
that's my goat
dude
I love Australians
so fucking much
because they're just like
like when we're all
at Spice Alley
or whatever it's called
there was a part
where like
Chad just stood up
and knocked over a beer
and everyone's heads
turned simultaneously
and they instantly
started chanting
if you spill it
you must snort it if you spill it and there was no beer in it so I had to put you spill it, you must snort it.
There was no beer in it, so I had to put
beer out on the table and snort it.
It was tight. I was like, how are they all just
fucking hardwired to hear that and do it?
Same as anything that happens with Zai
on a smaller scale at the pub and he just
spilled it. Dom said it and he's like,
ugh, and then he did it. It's like, ah, the bubbles
and shit.
No one backed down either
the whole night
to any of these things.
You can't.
They just kept starting
the happy birthday song
for no one.
I was wondering
what the fuck that was.
Was that anyone's birthday?
No.
I thought it was like
one person's birthday
and that was a meme
so we had to sing
for 12 people.
I was talking to someone
and I got interrupted
for the fourth or fifth time
with the happy birthday song
and I was like,
I guess it's plausible.
There's enough of us.
The Australian Malay scene has a bit
where you target someone at the restaurant.
You just say it's their birthday.
Yeah. I think that's kind of global.
I think every friend-
But they'll do it just like in the street to people,
not even just restaurants.
Just like all the time to like new people they meet.
And then this time it wasn't even people,
it was just starting the song.
And then we get to like, happy birthday, dear.
Everyone's like...
Did you guys get to meet Josh?
He was a tall guy.
No, they didn't meet Josh.
Oh, because Saturday, he...
Yeah, he went to the...
No, no, he was there Saturday.
But yeah, either way, if you met him, I think you would like him.
They came Sunday to the event.
Charismatic.
We got pretty late to the event.
We got the times wrong.
And then we went to the anime convention
and it was just fucking...
I don't know why we walked in
because we couldn't get out.
What was the anime convention like?
It smelled really bad.
That's what you expect.
It actually...
Just being pitched a bunch of trinkets
and garbage to be sold.
Yeah, you pay money.
You pay money to go in and buy junk.
Yeah.
And then you see something you might like
and you pull it up on your phone on eBay
and it's cheap.
I'm in another city as well.
I had to take that back
with me on the plane.
I'd rather buy it online.
I think it's fine
if you like it or whatever.
I think it's more
the community of people
like us playing
and coming together.
I was like, sure.
I understand a bunch of stuff
and panels.
But I just couldn't
because I haven't been
to a convention
in like four or five years.
So I just couldn't believe
the fact that it was like
there was nothing cool there
there was like
there was no manga
there was nothing
because it was
it was just like
prints from artists
which was great
and then
fake swords
there's so much shit
it's like
it's the worst of the worst
it's like you've got those
pins that are like
the
acrylic shit
fucking keychains
that that takes up
a whole store
and the next one's just like
garbage posters.
It's like there was nothing really
of value in any of the stores.
Are you guys into anime?
Not much.
I am a little bit.
I mean, I watch...
What's your shit?
I mean...
I bet a lot of you ask this question.
I watch just like generic shit
like Attack on Titan.
Okay.
I pull up something.
I hear academia.
I just pull up like random stuff
on Crunchyroll.
I watch that.
I watch a lot of One Piece.
Okay, so you're kind of in there. Yeah. some people like in it with like have you heard of this
super underground fucking three episode anime and then i'm like you just hit him in the throat
i like anime because it's pretty mindless for the most part yeah like dude we were they were
the guys were hammered last night and when i met up with kayla they were all like in bed nodding
off and we just watched
30 minutes of Daily Dose straight
to the brain.
His channel is so good.
Sometimes there's animals.
It's crazy.
Daily Dose is on Twitter.
He's really right-wing.
Is that Daily Dose?
Daily Dose is the guy who
takes popular internet clips and compiles them. Oh, this is your Daily Dose is the guy who just like takes popular internet
clips and compiles them. Oh, this is your
Daily Dose. Yes.
He's a sweetheart.
What are you thinking about?
Someone else that has a community channel and is really
sweet and innocent and then you go to their Twitter and it's like
Trump supporter.
Oh, Jordan Peterson.
I don't know who that is.
You've been owned.
Not on twitter anymore though
is he still off
I don't know
I don't follow
hardcore either
but it's like
I did see those clips
where he was like
you woke liberals
I'll cancel you all
he mic dropped
and he left
dude you put a beat over that
it's actually slightly hard
I was gonna say something about fucking Daily Dose.
I was going to ask, you're watching anime.
Are you guys just fucking at night time before bed
watching stuff?
What's your day-to-day like with Cold Ones?
When are you watching shit?
We only film once a week.
Yeah.
Everything's done online.
I find the algorithm now with YouTube is so good
that you just click on shit. I don't even have to be subscribed to half the stuff. They know you. it's all everything's done I find the algorithm now with YouTube is so good that
you just click on shit
I don't even have to be
subscribed to half the stuff
they know you
it's very good at
serving up like
content based on what you've seen
but I'm
it's all like
World of Warcraft
and RuneScape videos
like
I don't know
it's actually
I kind of ruined mine
because I got really into chess
when like chess got really popular
on Twitch
and now my algorithm
is just all chess videos
but most of the time
I don't want to like in the middle of the day,
I don't watch chess videos.
It's the same with TikTok.
You go on this craze of watching one thing on TikTok.
My big craze was...
TikTok has...
Bro.
Slime is stuck in incel TikTok right now.
No, I'm not in incel TikTok.
Well...
For some reason...
Tell the class what you saw.
So I haven't used TikTok in a long time.
Actually, the only time i used it
was when i was in a relationship and my ex-girlfriend liked like watching it so i'd watch
it as well like send each other stuff but i stopped using it for months and months and months
first time i fire it up it's instantly breastfeeding latinas that is mine and naked women
it will i i don't have the naked I just have very specifically breastfeeding Latinas,
which is not like
something I sought out
or talk about
in front of my phone.
Or so you think.
The algorithm knows you
better than you fucking do yourself.
I can accept that
they can listen to me.
And then,
so the other night,
I'm watching TikToks
when I wake up
at like 2 a.m.
Everything is packed.
All the shit you guys
were talking about,
I was just asleep.
My phone died
and my alarm didn't go off.
I didn't want to sleep an hour. So I was like, oh oh this is sad i'm watching tiktoks and it's just like
it keeps bringing up shit where it's like five signs your girl is cheating on you and it's like
why women will always like never be trustworthy i'm like what the fuck is this like i want to
see andrew tate i was gonna say maybe it's because we were talking about andrew tate last week
because i genuinely don't use this i want to see like cute animals, monkeys, and like, yes, breastfeeding Latinos.
Your TikTok timeline is fucking Andrew Tate popping off and then like Gibbon scratching himself.
And so I adjusted.
I kept going like, I don't like this.
I don't like this until it was, you know.
There's this new trend where it's like girls in like large oversized shirts shirts and then there's this sound it's like a gunshot after a countdown
and then they just tighten their shirt which shows their boobies and i'm like well this is good you're
saying this is online now this is on tiktok so you can just what what would i do to find
it's like it's on TikTok. It's on TikTok.
Yeah, you get the app.
The app?
From the app store. That sounds quite nice.
That's what I was doing, man.
And then Kalen was like,
you know, I'm on Wildman hours.
Meet me.
Meet me at the train station.
And I dressed up like a ninja
like we're dealing coke.
But I just gave him
his video game controller.
The cops are sitting there
watching from a distance.
Gentlemen.
What's up?
I need to piss.
My dick is hurting. That's okay. No, you go. We'll talk about it from a distance. Gentlemen. I need to piss. My dick is hurting.
I've been holding it for a while.
No, you go.
We'll talk about it when you go.
Excellent.
Should I go out there?
What's he packing?
How big is he?
You got some stuff?
Yeah, it's massive.
What about yourself?
You know how the old prank is,
if you got your mate's phone,
you manage to unlock it
and you go to their Facebook
and type I'm gay or something like that.
Yeah.
My new prank is I go on their TikTok
and I like all the fucked up shit.
That's fucking twisted.
It's like signing your friend up
for Scientology literature or something.
Yeah, it's the exact same thing.
Taking their phone number
and putting them on every fucking... The only way they
can fix that algorithm is by scrolling
through all the shit until they like
the stuff and they want again to fix it.
So they have to look at it.
Oh, the evil Russian sinkhole
content. It's so
fucked because it's literally just hours in and
hours out. Like the amount of time it takes to
do it to them is the same amount of time it takes to reverse
it. Yep. So it's just like you have to also endure that's okay because i got the
pleasure of i i was willing to do it like for the bit they have to do it to fix it you know
yeah there's a payoff for you the satisfaction is there the honest satisfaction there where were
you all weekend i didn't see you just sleeping yeah i was like so that night i i
accidentally slept through everything i didn't want to usually i'm i'm not too social i get like
the joke is that i don't like planned group activities you know nothing was planned so
that's true but also just choosing to exist is often a plan so you know god's plan
drake so i don't know but i i was kind of here and there i was i was hanging
out with like the other squads as well um because i don't see those guys often um but i what i like
here and i often get criticized for romanticizing australians like oh slum just thinks they're all
fucking perfectly funny angels you know but what i realized is that that particular group is just
funny and it's not about their accent.
They're just talented.
The boys. They are extremely funny.
And I think that's cool. The more I learned about Mungo this
weekend, the more I was just like... Get out and game.
When we were in Spice Alley, I got a new
Mungo pitch. Oh yeah?
Yeah, I got a new Mungo pitch and he
was chatting with somebody and then he looked
over at me and he's like, I got a big one, Aiden.
It's like beyond blue
for gamers
you have to explain
I know and I'm standing there and I'm like
what is beyond blue he's like
it's our suicide hotline
ironic suicide
hotline yeah he's like
if you're having rage issues
LP issues you just give you'd give them a call
Like a gamer suicide hotline differentiate from like a regular
He's like no no these people would understand you tell me your top lane was in ting and they're like, oh tell me about it
Your top lane was inting and they're like, oh tell me about it
You guys met miles miles has a youtube series He just started called sprint reviews so genius where he plays League of Legends and whenever he gets flamed in chat
He just posts a discord link. It's this join our pussy and then these people join the voice call and they just talk it out
And he's like, alright, so you're flaming me like what's up?
You want to watch the VOD together and they watch talk it out. And he's like, all right, so you're flaming me. Like, what's up? You want to watch the VOD together?
And they watch the game together.
And he points out like, you know, you said I was doing this,
but I wasn't doing that.
Like, what do you think now?
And he just, he literally just straight up interviews these people.
And it's so good.
That sounds great because I know the exact league player would just like,
even if it's right in front of me, like, no, no, man.
Like, no, no, no.
That's not how it works, bro.
Like, my TP was on cooldown.
It didn't say it was a glitch in the VOD.
The VOD's glitching.
The client's fucked, I don't know.
In one of his interviews, like,
he invites all the guy's friends in the call, too,
and all his friends are roasting him.
So, like, all his friends are just like,
yeah, he fucking runs down mid every single fucking game.
He's just, like, in the corner.
I can't do anything.
As if he's a therapist.
Like,
and tell me about how,
when he runs it down.
This is channel cold.
I need to sub.
I'm too invested.
Yeah,
just,
I think sprinter views will bring it up.
If you're having a sprinter view,
it's really,
real small.
We're trying to get him to refine it.
Cause right now it's just like a fucking two hour video.
I'm willing to commit to that.
How was it? Do you have a good one? It. I'm willing to commit to that. How was it?
Do you have a good one?
It was long.
Was that long?
It was short.
I felt like a lot of liquid.
I have a question.
What is this fucking light you guys brought in?
That stick.
Oh, that's the light.
Can you pull it out?
I'll get it.
You had a big weekend. This morning, I literally woke up and was like, That's the light saying you pulled out
You had a big big I am on the I just morning I literally woke up I was like this is where I chug on my moment and I said oh
Shit this is my prized possession now so the other night when you all disappeared
I don't know what happened, but everyone I sat down with Joey Joey Scott, and I all sat down
I'll buy one last beer also that what everyone was gone was there at the time time
Scott guys Scott how far till we get home? He's like we get an uber we get in this over
I'm like we're gonna shoot would be line it straight to the hotel stops at Macca's
I don't know why I stopped at Macca's the Macca's we stop at isn't the right spot
We have to now walk to Macca's as we're walking to Macca's, I'm saying, Scott, Scott, I really want one of these.
I want one of these.
I want one of these.
I'm drunk.
I'm like, can I have it?
Can I have it?
Can I have it?
Sold it to me for a hundred bucks.
Oh, the guy at McDonald's had that.
No, they were construction workers.
Oh, no way.
You skipped that part, I think.
Sorry, they were construction workers, and I was abusing them, going, can I have one?
Can I have one?
And then finally, some guy caved for $100.
Wow.
That was less than it took to keep Mango inside of a building.
Anyway, it gets better.
I'm now running down the street pretending I'm a construction worker.
I'm drunk, and I've got McDonald's in my hand.
We're running into the 7-Eleven to get a Gatorade
before we go back to the hotel to sober up.
And before we did that, I was also running because a guy pulled up in a cement truck next to me.
It was some big truck.
I don't know what it was.
Too drunk.
And he goes, where'd you get that from, mate?
And I'm like, ah, and I ran.
I just fucking ran.
And this cunt, I shit you not, followed us four blocks in a cement truck.
I didn't see where, I don't know how he knew where we were.
I'm going to bury you in the sidewalk.
He wanted it back.
He wanted it back.
And Scott's scary when he's drunk.
He has this weird eye.
And we get together.
One weird eye.
And this construction worker who was a manler,
he's like five foot, walks in in his high-vis shirt,
his hard hat, and looks at me and goes,
I'll get that back now, mate.
And I go, and I'm a fucking white knuckling this.
I'm like, no, I paid $100.
And he's about to ask for it again.
And Scott turns to me and goes, he paid for it fair and square.
Without a second word, the guy just fucking 180 to the left.
Scott scared the shit out of him.
Wow, well done.
Well defended.
That's huge.
We just met Scott for the first
time a couple nights ago.
I was trying to tell
someone else, oh, did you meet Scott?
Which one's he? I was trying to figure out how to describe him.
At the time, I didn't really know much about him.
I was like, just imagine if the camera
in that 70s show just panned to a fifth person.
And Scott.
That's pretty much it.
There is this moment
when we were at the bar last night.
So I was looking at the sweater
you were wearing
and the back of your phone case
and they like matched up.
They say cool on them
and I thought they looked really nice.
You don't name that company.
What do you got for us?
Hold on.
What do you got for me? What do you got for us? Hold on. What have you got for me?
What have you got for me?
What have you got for me?
Fatino never gives a free promotion.
Are you Jamaican?
I don't know.
Fatino has become Jamaican.
Yeah, Fatino has become Jamaican.
And I looked at them.
I just thought they looked really nice.
I'm like, that's cool.
They match up.
They look nice.
Do you own it?
And you were just like, yeah.
I was like, they look really cool, dude.
And you were just like, you are not receptive. think you were like weirded out that i was pointing it
out or something and then i realized today talking to dick separately that cool shirts a brand that i
knew existed was that same brand and he was like you're fucking stupid yeah i'm fucking i'm an
idiot for just like oh they match like it's
crazy that you have both of those well dude rowan i was actually so silently mad at amen earlier so
rowan is the guy who set up right at the hat rowey see you just you're blowing this anecdote by
getting his name is it rowan or rowey is your your real name Rowan? Rowan Bain. That's Aaron.
What the fuck is this shit? I think it's because we call
him Rowan. Okay, well, either way.
He introduces his name
and I hear it, obviously
incorrectly, and I'm like, okay, cool.
And then Aiden's like, what's your name? And he says it. He's like,
what? And he says it again.
He's like, oh. And as if
to, like, cover up the
fact that he had to listen twice, he's like, oh, and as if as if to like cover up the fact that he had to listen twice.
He's like, oh, so it's like so it's like row like you had to have a conversation.
So it's like row and he's like, yeah, like row a bow.
He's like, oh, this is my excuse.
This is my excuse.
My ears still have not popped since we got off the plane.
I'll give you a pass on that.
You've been talking about this all day.
Yeah, and I'm pretty fucking annoyed about it.
I don't know why.
I've never had it last this long before. I yours for you baby come over here let me get in there
you want to just blow in one let me get in yeah did anybody witness the brain hong this weekend
is it real i actually believe yeah our friends were telling you know caitlin caitlin was telling
us that he possesses the ability to smoke through his ears yeah so he'll take the hong put it in his ear or whatever and then
and he calls it the brain
hong that's not real
but they all
band together they all band together they all
swear it's real I've talked to many people who have
said oh I've seen it but the problem
is that they if they
want to fuck with you collectively they will
do it and i'm
scared to trust them yeah it's just like the uh what do you call it drop bears yeah they're drop
bears it's the brain hung so who knows do you guys hate sydney um i didn't be there
yes yes i do now just because so you live here in Melbourne, right? Yeah, yeah. Are you from Melbourne? I'm from WA.
I'm from Queensland.
From Perth?
Well, I looked at a map earlier.
It was up there, a map of Australia.
Perth?
Isn't it to the west?
It's a far west.
It's a west.
It's not the farthest west you can go, right?
It's the most remote city in the world.
So when you go to Sydney, you're like,
this is the fucking, these are savage idiots in this town, right?
That's how you feel?
Or is it not like that?
Yeah, they just got fired.
No, no, Sydney, sorry.
It was nice.
I liked it.
I feel like
we don't go anywhere enough
to really have a real opinion on it.
I was surprised by this.
When I met Chad,
like a bunch of people
came up to him
and were so surprised
to like meet him out in public.
And I'm like,
I just kind of assume
you run into people all the time
and you're kind of like a guy.
I do, but...
But your response was like,
we don't ever go out.
I mean, I don't go out. I go to the same four bars i never explore but when i travel it's
i'll go to like a mountain in colorado or something like some shit like that so it's even
funny when you're in a small remote town with like a population of 400 skiers like
fuck you doing i'm like what do you think i'm doing i made a ski i don't know i just i just
tell people that but have you gone to Colorado?
Huh?
Did you go to Colorado?
I didn't go to Colorado.
Um,
I couldn't tell you exactly where it was.
You don't remember?
No,
we went to Aspen.
It was like a four hour drive from Aspen.
Cause we went to Aspen shopping,
but we were just up in the hot Springs.
Did we go to the canned air?
Yeah.
Was it Glenwood Springs,
Colorado?
No,
it was like,
it was like a Christmas land. Steamboat Springs?
They had like a Christmas land there or something.
Interesting.
Snowland, snow time.
Snow mess is where you went.
Do you guys know about canned air?
Yeah.
Like for cleaning out dust?
Boost oxygen.
No.
No.
Well, you're from Colorado.
I'm from Colorado.
You grew up skiing in the snow, did you?
I did when I was a little kid, yeah.
Okay, so is it true that up there,
you know how they got the canned oxygen?
Did they have it when you were younger?
For the altitude sickness at all?
You're talking about Ready Whip? And I only did that
when I was a teenager.
Okay, that's a drug.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's pretty new. We're in this new wave of technology.
Picture the scam that is
bottled water
and then air.
No way. This is like a bit in the lorax it's real it's real and it's worth millions no and you go to these ski towns in colorado now and it's like a tourist
trap because you get sick you got you're up to high altitude you can't be waking up feeling fuzzy
a little bit like just get some canned air like they don't tell you that, but it's everywhere.
So you go, oh, I'm going to try it.
Doesn't do anything.
The locals see you with it.
Are you a fucking idiot?
Ow.
Yeah, this scam didn't exist when I lived there.
We just decriminalized weed when I was there.
Well, now it's marketed to athletes and stuff like that now as well.
To the point where it's like people see it.
You see it.
You want to try it. It, you want to try it.
It's a novelty to try it.
It tastes like nothing.
It doesn't feel like anything is happening. It's like those booze in the mall
where you can hook up to the nose thing
and you can get in auction bars and that shit.
I believe that.
That doesn't do anything either.
Because that just goes in your nose.
It has to do something.
Nah, it doesn't do anything.
Bro, the auction's already going in your nose right now.
You're alive. Yeah. I'll store soy jack in him when i was uh a little bit younger i started drinking when i was 18 or 19 everyone said the oxygen bars cure the hangovers
and they take you on oxygen bars they're really expensive and you have flavored oxygen yeah
it's bullshit i just left feeling sicker because all I could taste was menthol down my throat
can I have one of those
that's the thing as well the canned air has
a range of flavors like they're vapes
they've all got different flavors
I would hope so at least
otherwise if you get an original can
with no flavor it's like
even less of anything
I bet there's some weirdo selling bottled value
there's some weird tourist who'sled value. There's some weird tourist
who's like,
yeah, I only like
the original canned air.
I don't like the flavor stuff.
Yeah, that's crazy.
It also makes you cough
because you're shooting cold air
down your throat.
It just sucks.
It fucking does suck.
I'd like to see
an argument for it
because all I've heard
is arguments against it.
I would love for someone
to say,
oh no,
it actually works.
Like,
really well,
I take it all the time.
Yeah,
but he'd be paid
by big air.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy also does
really sick jumps.
Yeah.
The air Jordan
hand air.
No.
That'd be tight as fuck.
Well,
Aiden was actually,
we were talking about
skiing earlier
and Aiden,
apparently it's called a yard sale
when you fucking wipe out real hard on the mountain
because all your shit flies everywhere.
You wipe out so hard,
you lose every piece of equipment that is on you.
That's awesome.
It becomes a yard sale on the mountain.
I'm losing all his rings.
I thought it was like dying in Fortnite.
How roads lead to a gamer.
Which brings us back to the gamer suicide hotline.
I feel like just Sonic right now.
I've lost all my rings.
I'm looking for more.
Imagine being on the other end of a suicide hotline.
They're like, I just, you know,
you ever feel like Sonic after you lose your rings?
I'm like.
No.
I'd be the one person at the call center.
It would be like,
thank God they got me.
You would be,
I think that's actually your calling suicide hotline.
Cause you'd be like,
well,
where are you from?
I'd be genuinely interested.
I'm sure you have to be a certain kind of person.
I can go work for Mungo when this comes together.
I like the idea of this example that like,
if they called you,
you wouldn't be interested. I mean, I of this example that if they called you, you wouldn't be interested.
I mean, I'm just saying.
It would be like the advice show.
They'd get on the phone
and they would be like,
what a stupid fucking question.
We have an advice show on our Patreon. It's me and Aiden.
It's our own special show. It's only on the Patreon.
Only audio.
And Aiden is in charge of picking the questions.
That's all he has to fucking do.
And every fucking week, he does the same shit,
where he goes, all right, let's do the questions.
All right, question one.
Both my parents killed themselves in a burning house with fire.
And I lost both my legs in a war I was drafted to because I'm poor.
I love your podcast.
Love what you guys do.
What do you think I should do in this situation
slime bald
xoxo
and then he goes
yeah I don't think
I'm qualified to answer this
Nick what do you think
fucking every week
and every time
I have to
last time
last week we did this
I was wearing
a fucking Batman mask
while we were filming
while someone told us
about their trauma
and Aiden is laughing
his ass off
reading the question
because I'm Batman.
I'm like reading through the most
traumatic experience and he's
he's Batman but he's like shaking his
head.
At this point I feel bad about wearing the Batman
mask. But you didn't take it off.
Well I can't show my identity.
You can't take it off.
Well it wouldn't be Batman
in that world would I?
So on this show sometimes I'll have to You can't take it off. Well, it wouldn't be Batman in that world, would it? Yeah.
So on this show, sometimes I'll have to sub in
because Aiden's like fucking off,
like, you know, doing whatever he does.
Church store.
Or you're fucking off at a church store.
I was just going to say, what about when he fucks off?
And I have a short temper and I'm older
and I think that all problems can be solved by communication.
So I'll read the question and be just enraged.
Like, why are you asking me this question?
A lot of people write in and pretty much the answer for 80% of them
is just talk to them.
It's like they clearly haven't spoken to the person
they have the problem with.
Sorry, do you guys
sit down? Those are real questions
taken from people. I'm too afraid of
confronting people about that because I'm not trained.
What if I say something stupid and they actually kill themselves?
It's okay. I'm sorry to make it done. No, no, that's usually not most of our prompts are like like there's a girl at my work
I really like but it's a work or I don't want to ask one at work. What do I do?
Questions do not say in's in charge and he fucking picks the crazy one
He picks the crazy ones, but then just gives it to you, which is crazy.
I'm trying to get you in trouble.
I try to get at least
one question a week that's kind of like
Manchester by the sea. Also, a lot
of times, a lot of times,
we have a question that we don't know the answer
to and we'll call in a celeb
guest. We'll bring
on a woman. It's something we just
can't answer. It was like a that like only really a woman's perspective could
answer or like we got a question about yelling downstairs kitty yeah what do you what do you
guys do for your for your patreon stuff at the moment because you obviously
cock and balls cock and ball molds yes sir ask cam well i mean our videos uh formatted
with alcohol
and mixed into it.
So there is a lot of stuff
that can go on
for 30 minutes
that we film
where we go,
can I leave that in?
Yeah, mostly just
extended cuts of things.
Oh, okay.
But like,
the Patreon,
the main cut
is usually like 50 minutes.
The Patreon is like
three hours.
It's just,
we like
feeling like the main channel has high effort stuff that we've
really made sure is like a great video that we,
it's so much extra footage otherwise.
But yeah.
When you,
when you,
when you got into YouTube,
did you have like an end goal?
Like I'm going to start doing this,
but I want to eventually do this.
I kind of just be like,
what's going on now? I'll do that. And then that leads to this and that. I want to eventually do this or are you just going to like fuck it? I kind of just be like what's going on now?
I'll do that
and then that leads to this
and that.
I don't really think
very far ahead of that.
At this point,
do you think at all
like a next step
like anything you want to do?
No.
I mean,
it's working.
You guys have a three,
like you have this studio,
right?
What?
Yeah,
so it's just
some sort of plan with this.
It's more about just building
the brand
and building Cold Ones. I don't think we're thinking of going to more about just building the brand and building Cold Ones
I don't think we're thinking of
going to
so you're pretty invested
in like Cold Ones itself
yeah yeah yeah
for sure
I would eventually like to
pass the torch
for Cold Ones
like
your son
no
I'm not having
your kiddo
no I'm not
you don't want to
no
and if I do
he ain't being a YouTuber
he's in a school
too miserable fucking doctor
I get one more person in and like well, it's cuz I don't know delegate all of you. I don't want to drink
believe or not, I love drinking but I hate the repercussions and I
Do not want to keep drinking for another 10 years. I want to get someone else in to do the drinking. Taper off.
Celebrity drinker.
You could just have that.
How about you guys just have a mute celebrity.
It just gets fucked up.
What do you mean?
Give it to someone else.
They look just like Markiplier.
It's just a person that sits here.
And they don't say anything ever.
And instead of drinking, you just pass it off to them
without even looking. And they just slam it back drinking, you just pass it off to them without even looking,
and they just slam it back,
and then you just continue doing your content as normal.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
That sounds like a weird adult swim thing or something.
I get really carried away.
I'm like, let's push its limits.
Yeah.
And then I've got a dead body in the studio.
Sure, yeah.
It's like Markiplier.
It's like, oh, shit, we've got to get rid of him.
No, we're just out doing it for fun.
We're having fun.
But yeah, I do want to get someone else involved.
Anyone, auditions coming in?
I want to get someone to do like,
because I suck at interviewing people
and I personally don't think I'm very good at the talk show.
I'd like to get someone else in to do that.
This is the first time I'm hearing of this.
Yeah.
Just an idea on the top of my head.
Maybe I'll go back.
What do you mean
you're not very good?
You just don't
you just choose
not to read anything
about the person
or watch any of their videos
by choice.
I guess someone else
didn't man.
I guess someone else.
Besides you are good at it.
I want to do other things.
It's not that I hate it.
I just
I do so much
other stuff.
Chad,
what's your passion?
Gardening.
Gardening. Gardening.
Like growing veggies?
Or is it like weed?
Is this like a weed time?
I want to hear about this shit.
I want to start a channel where I
talk about economical, like
economically efficient farming methods
like vertical growing. And I want to be one of
those farm YouTubers that like, day in the
life, off grid
fully sustainable farm
cutting wood
yeah
like vlogging on his farm
but I want to
have it on the scale
where I
have someone on the farm
that does all the grunt work
and I just wake up
and pretend I did it
and then I go back
you needed
a drinking guy
but for work
labor
yeah
and I also want a brewery
as well
I really want to have my own brewery and my own alcohol but you also want I also want a brewery as well I really want to have
my own brewery
my own alcohol
but you also want
someone who runs
the brewery and shit
well no
I will figure it all out
myself
but I want to be able
to give it to someone
afterwards
and be like
I've set it up
you take care of it
it's like any business
right
we're talking about
opening a bar
maybe at some point
a cold one
I think that would
fucking cold one
bar is also the dream
I also want to
retire and work behind a bar
because that just seems funny to me.
It is, yeah.
I don't know, it's just funny to me.
I think anyone's image of themselves,
just like polishing a bar top 10 years into the future,
it's very comforting.
I want a place where people can come and be comfortable.
I think I showed that off a little bit in Melbourne.
I like facilitating and taking care of everyone. I really want to do that with a bar for
people and I want to be able to have people that we've met over the years
come overseas and have a place to stay and have a place to drink at safe I want
to have safe spaces yeah would you let man go in your bar? Yeah, because that'd be a good show. I'd have a cage for him. I'd have a cage for him.
Like he's a go-go dancer?
Yeah, yeah.
But instead he's just drinking and getting agitated.
Yeah.
I think I would put up like a cartoon poster,
wanted poster out the front for Mango.
That'd be really funny.
It'd be a do not serve this man.
Or serve this man double.
And the show will get started very soon.
We're going to have double security working that night.
But you make sure all your bouncer guys that night look like Ludwig.
He's like in a hall of mirrors.
Punching Ludwig's security guards.
Yeah, I feel like when I started watching you guys
you guys had this
like mega group
where it was just
like all these
different people
and I'm sure this
is shit that you
guys get asked
in every fucking
interview but
I'm so curious
like the sort of
progression of
like meeting them
making stuff together
like you like
iDubbbz
Goji
like all them
and then like
it seems like that
has all sort of
gone separate directions
it's seeming for
like good reasons
but yeah
can I just say
we don't
do interviews ever. So
no question that you ask, really, I've
never really answered. Oh, well, I would
love to talk about that. Yeah, that'd be cool. If it's not like
weird. Yeah, no, of course. We edit our podcast.
Yeah, so what, like
where do you want to start? You didn't quite ask a
question. Yeah, so let me get detailed.
How did that group
form and why did it ultimately
like somewhat part ways not necessarily as friends but like content wise right um
who was the first person george no i had a basic oh okay yeah so he had a basic he was with you
guys yeah so i didn't know that so anthony knows nothing by the way right i know how to basic no
no i know you know that but but you don't know that they So Anthony knows nothing, by the way. No, I know how to basic. No, no, I know you know that,
but you don't know that they know each other.
I don't know any contacts or anything.
Yeah, so how to,
because I used to do prank calls on YouTube.
It was like the one thing that I did back in the day.
And he did the how to basic stuff,
same sort of stuff.
Pranking, prank calling himself.
Bro, when he pulls the salmon out of the toilet,
I still think about that.
It was crazy.
He pulls the what out of the toilet?
No, it's not a salmon.
It's like a raw fish.
It's like how to make fish and he runs and he like
pitter patters over to a toilet and it's
just ice in the bowl and there's a fish
and he just grabs it out of it.
I think HowToBasic is actually the channel that Slime
wishes he had. Oh yeah. The content you wish you were making. HowToBasic is actually the channel that Slime wishes he had.
The content you wish you were making.
So great. Anyway, sorry.
I think my favorite from him, by the way,
is how to make stew or whatever in the videos an hour long.
Because stew takes an hour to make.
How to make our stew or whatever.
That's like his go-to April Fool's Day thing
every year.
You're watching the pot for an hour-long YouTube video.
And he normally comes back.
He needs to get some
different content for that.
Every year, it's just,
oh, it's going to be
a long video
instead of a short video.
Yeah, but that's good for him
because he just puts
a million ads in there.
Yeah, I think that's why he does it
because he puts admin roles in there.
He kicks his feet up
and puts a million ads in
and someone leaves it open.
Yeah, so there wasn't
a whole lot of people. I feel like I didn't a whole lot of uh people i didn't i feel
like i didn't have a lot of peers on youtube within australia so anyone who i saw that was
doing stuff and doing it well i would try to contact whatever so i got in um contact with
him and i was like you want to do a video together And then I didn't realize how young he was because he was in school at the time
that his channel was blowing up.
And I was an adult man.
This is an immediate problem.
Not that big of a difference.
Hey, would you like to make a video with me?
Yeah, yeah.
So that's what it sounded like to his parents.
He asked his parents, he's like-
I like your son a lot.
I'd love to make a video with your son. Yeah, he asked his parents, he's like, I like your son a lot. I'd like to make a video with your son.
Yeah, he asked his parents, he's like, can I go to
this guy's house that I met
on the internet and film a video with him?
How did you contact him? YouTube?
I think he was commenting on stuff or something like that.
Yeah, but how did you DM him? Was it on Twitter or was it?
Because YouTube had a messaging system.
Somehow I ended up getting his contact on
Skype. So we used to speak on Skype. YouTube messaging was lit. Yeah Somehow I ended up getting his contact on Skype.
So we used to speak on Skype.
YouTube messaging was lit.
Yeah, I think it was
just that from way
I like your content.
Next one's like,
I hope you fucking die.
I'm going to find
where you live and kill you.
It's like, damn,
there's like no one
to monitor this.
I think it was the DMs
that were on YouTube
at the time.
Bring them back, Susan.
Yeah.
The easiest way
to set up collabs.
Anyway, yeah,
so I'll try to get
through this okay um yeah so I had to his dad called me he's like my dad wants to talk to you
so I had to talk to his dad and he's like uh basically trying to suss out if I am actually
do the same stuff that his son does and what the deal is and he eventually let him come do it
and we filmed
I think that was like
the Krabby Patty video
it's a very disgusting video
where I just eat
something that he made
on his channel
and then it links
to like me eating it
he does the video
of him making it
and then at the end
it's got like the trail off
where you go to my channel
to watch me eat it
yeah
did his dad drop him off
with that bucket in the car?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Quick side quest question
really quick.
I thought about this
a lot recently.
Do you think there's still
a place on YouTube
for content that starts
on one channel
and finishes on another?
How do you mean?
Like what you just described.
Do you think...
I don't know.
Do you think kids
have the attention span
to go watch a follow-up video
on something now? No. Yeah, I think that's a novelty thing. I don't think do you think kids have the attention span to go watch a follow up video on something now
no
yeah I think that's
a novelty thing
I don't think it would
necessarily be something
it's kind of like
annotations back in the day
right
when you could like
play a game
with people
and like click the
yeah yeah yeah
you can't do that
as effectively
I don't think that
exists anymore
I think Jack's films
try to do it with
the new system
but yeah
not anyone as effective
as you
it's got the
retention
you just gotta
fucking plummet
yeah
on each
anyway I was
curious about that
yeah so
had a basic
that's where it
formed
the start of
the group
which we didn't
know was going
to be anything
then we did
some other
a couple of
other videos
and then
eventually
I was
started commenting
on Filthy Frank's
stuff
being like
fly to Australia fly to Australia.
Fly to Australia.
Come to Brazil.
And the only thing that he would see that I would do was vomiting.
Because I used to do this stuff where I just...
Vomit like colored milk and shit, right?
Really?
The stuff you would think if you thought of YouTube in 2012.
Yeah, that's hype.
Just drinking milk and shit.
Do you vomit?
Yeah.
Yeah, just like that
I'm with it
so he was like
what video
could we do together
you'd like vomiting
oh my god
right that's your thing
yeah
throw up
alright
so that's where
the cake video
the first one
came from
because
what is the first one
called
was it just
vomit cake
I think it just vomit cake?
Yeah, vomit cake.
Yeah, so I would eat the ingredients and then vomit them out.
And then we'd cook the cake. And then eat the cake.
Oh my god.
Yeah, so you literally can't do that on YouTube now.
That's crazy.
Hey, fucking liberals ruin everything.
Son of a bitch.
Bring back fucking vomiting and cooking it.
Fucking god damn it.
Yeah, so that series became a trilogy. Bring back fucking vomiting and cooking it. Fucking god damn it. Yeah, so that series
became a trilogy.
There was Vomit Cake,
Hair Cake,
and then Human Cake,
which was all different parts
of different YouTubers.
Their toenails,
clippings,
yeah.
Dude.
I remember that.
I remember,
this was a phenomenon
at my school.
Like, people were coming to school,
like, you guys see
the fucking video that came out
It's like people to eat each other. I feel like
Our people our age at school in YouTube you weren't watching minecraft
You're watching you're watching fucking cake fucked up shit like remember like meat spin and like yeah, who goes one cup and yeah
Well, I grew up in the line. Yeah, I mean yeah,, yeah, but like, that was like the thing. It was just a randomized fucking mystery bag.
Yeah, it was fucked up.
My friends would literally come over,
or they would like say, come over to my house,
and we'd all watch the ISIS beheading.
Like, it wasn't fucking real.
Yeah, it wasn't group watch.
Yeah, it was like, we didn't have shit to watch.
It was like either porn or extreme like snuff violence.
And we were like, yeah.
Beating off to both.
No wonder you have to fucking check your reel every now and then.
I think I was talking about that the other day, and we're like, yeah. Beating off to both. No wonder you have to fucking check if you're real every now and then.
I think we were talking about that the other day because Facebook used to be like that. You'd see a lot of beheading videos.
You'd just be scrolling and it's just like, okay, beheading, beheading video.
Everyone our age watched it because it wasn't because you wanted to watch it,
it was because it was morbid curiosity and you click on it.
It's accessible.
Dude, if there was Minecraft, we just would have watched that.
You know what I mean?
Because we just like, after we watched it, we were like, that's crazy.
There was Minecraft.
There was.
There was Minecraft.
There was Minecraft content.
Sorry, that guy.
We didn't have Dweem.
We didn't have Dweem.
There was no Dweem yet.
The problem was the moderation was way lower.
And that's why everything slipped through the cracks.
So you're on your 4U page and you see ice just be heading or dream cheat speed run i do remember this like brief era in high school where
we had this like skype group chat and we would like call and people would drop links from like
live leak and then you'd come out of like your room and then get like eat dinner with mom and
dad yeah and it's like you're just kind of forever changed,
but just eating your carrots.
Yeah, I just watched two men
beat up another man to death in the woods,
and now I'm eating chicken with my brothers.
I watched Kimbo put a guy's fucking face
and make it into a pancake with his knees.
Oh, man.
Anyway, so.
Dwayne.
Yeah, where were we and I used to comment
on his stuff and he was like pretty small and I started showing his stuff to
how to basic being like this guy's really funny
but he's like hasn't blown up yet
or whatever and
yeah same sort of thing just
me harassing him to come make a
video or do something and then
yeah it also just happened like that everyone flew to
Australia rather than any of us going
to America yeah
generous out in the field you're just watching
content things say let's do something
let's do something
yeah
but um
yeah that's
the start of it
how'd you guys meet
like
yeah Chad
Chad fits in there somewhere
yeah
we've talked about it
a couple times
Chad can tell his
I basically
I used to play Diablo
when Diablo
when Diablo came out
was it 203
I can't remember
probably
I think it was 3
you came out when you were like
7 yeah I was grinding it and Max I can't remember it was three probably three I think it was three two came out when you were like seven
yeah yeah
I was grinding it
and Max
I knew
so Max
because I had Max
at it on Facebook
before he kind of
blew up
and hit the friend cap
on Facebook
so I was
I used to let anyone
have me
with some Diablo gold
and
wait so like
because he was a YouTuber
or because he went to
because he was a YouTuber
he was a YouTuber
and then
Chad was trying to bribe me with gold so I'd talk to him on a post.
And then lied through my teeth, flew across the state, met him.
And we were friends since.
I didn't stay in Perth when I flew over to meet you for the first time.
Yeah, you stayed with your auntie.
We did some cons together.
And then...
Did iDubbbz and Goji fly all the way to WA to make those videos?
Yeah.
So not only do they have to fly to Melbourne,
they then have to, after the 16-hour flight,
they have to hop on another seven or eight-hour flight to get to Perth,
which is the worst trip in the world.
It's eight hours by plane.
Yeah.
It's the same distance between America and the States.
Yeah.
Australia is the same size as the States.
Yeah.
That house where all those cake videos were filmed and tons of stuff in the backyard is just...
I can't imagine the smell that still hangs around there.
Was it abandoned?
No, it was just my house.
Oh, it lived there.
We used it still.
Oh, because...
Okay, so the house had the lino, wasn't pinned.
Do you know flat lino?
Like, you know, just fake textured floors that go over cement.
It's like a thin plastic.
Like you'd have in the kitchen or something.
Yeah, they had that, but they hadn't put guards on it
to pin it down to the corners.
So then over time, it lifted.
So when we'd film a video-
It was just all lifted up.
Yeah, it was all lifted up and it was all cracked
and shit would go underneath it.
So when we'd film
and there'd be eggs and blood.
It's like a puke quesadilla.
Yeah.
It all seeped in underneath it.
And there's no way to clean it
unless you rip it up.
Yeah.
Yeah, those cake videos
are filmed
like one hour of that room
where it's like lifted there.
So all the slop
that's going onto the floor
is like hitting the actual corner
and going under,
settling like underneath the actual thing.
Some contractor ripped it up one day.
He's like, oh yeah, you got puke damage
all over.
Fucking disgusting.
It was just like every crevice of the house.
Every crack, every nook, every crack.
The garden's covered in glass.
There's glass everywhere.
You go out to the garden, they go,
why are you putting shoes on?
And you're like,
I'm not that big.
Bro, it's a war zone out there.
You're not even going to step on.
That house might be preserved.
Like if people tour it,
like Anne Frank's room.
No, I was going to say,
yeah, it's like a historical site.
Did you say someone moved into it
and sent a photo?
Or they sent a photo
and a listing?
No, there's something
if you look up Max Moffo address
the actual listing
for that house
to rent it
on like the real
real estate website
comes up first
or something
just because of
the tags
that are associated
with
I've got doxxed
at some point
and then people
always comment
this thing
I think that
the cake video
was we knew
it was going to
be doxxed
because the
shot is literally just in it and just filming the front of my house.
You're soy jacking at it.
Yeah, exactly.
We knew it was going to be doxxed because we doxxed ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I was going to move out at some point after that.
So it was fine.
Really fuck them.
And then, continue.
Yeah, so Chad got... In. So, anything for views, the name comes from a Filthy Frank video
because Chad was willing to do anything.
I was around like a bunch of boys and they're all big YouTubers
and I'm just that fat guy.
Yeah, because Chad didn't have any...
I didn't do any YouTube.
He didn't have any clout yet.
And it was like, I'll do anything.
I see, I see.
Let me do something.
Yeah.
So, one of the
Filthy Frank videos, I think
you're introduced as anything for views.
And it's like, this guy will do anything.
And yeah, Chad just
started taking that role where you just
do anything to him.
Light him on fire, fucking tattoo him
whatever until he
eventually got enough clout to say no.
What's your fucking tattoo you have on your ass?
Which one?
We got some unreleased ones.
There's so much.
I'm just thinking in my head the amount of things you've been through.
We got one for a Filthy Frank video on the video got scrapped.
Yeah.
It was like a pink guy on my ass.
Was the video just deleted?
I just don't think it ever got made.
Yeah, I got a PewDiePie tattoo.
That was the first one.
I mean, you want to get him out or what?
No.
Okay. Yeah, keep remember some like twister video. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. That
was good. But they're like twisted one deadly. As time went on too, it wasn't that any of us stopped talking.
It was just when you get older, you get girlfriends, different lives.
It's not that we don't all still talk.
It's just like…
Content direction.
Everyone's doing it.
The direction changes and what you're pursuing changes and things like that.
All the other stuff was getting taken down by YouTube.
And then it just became harder and harder to fly across.
I mean, they'll do the flying. It became harder and harder to fly across. I mean, they'll do the flying.
It's harder and harder to fly.
I mean,
Australia do a week
or two of video shoots
four times a year.
You're all individually
doing even better now.
Right.
So it's not even like
it was like...
Well,
at the end of the day,
the main...
The reason that's severed
is because
YouTube didn't allow it.
That's basically what it is.
Like,
YouTube's putting the...
It just gets more and more narrow.
What is acceptable?
Even if I look a year ago,
I could see stuff that was actually okay then
that's now not okay on YouTube.
It's interesting.
When you talk about that,
do you mean not so much that the videos
couldn't be made or uploaded,
but that they're demonetized
and they don't enter the...
No.
Because stuff like Vomit Cake is still on YouTube. Okay, okay. made or uploaded but that they're demonetized and they don't enter like the other people because like those
stuff like vomit cake is still
on YouTube
the three cake videos have been terminated
and deleted they don't exist anymore
oh I didn't know that they're only re-uploads
yeah oh my bad so if I see like
if you did make that it would just be
it's not just demonetized
they just delete the video
I still watch those like a couple,
like a few years ago.
We should have asked Susan when we had her
to just bring them back.
Yeah.
Bring back the cake.
Sell the wireless to my channel.
Just let me post whatever I want.
I can imagine you guys have gone through fucking hell
with monetization and demonetization.
Yeah.
We've had problems with this channel as well,
but we've finally gotten in contact
with the partnership manager who's helped us out.
Yeah.
And just, not even that,
just since all the borders have opened up,
we've been talking to everyone and other people,
and we've seen so many people in the past three months,
like, people have all been giving us advice,
and even Ludwig the other night
was giving us advice and stuff.
And it's not, like, secret.
It's not YouTube secrets.
You have to get in trouble for it
to know that it's not okay
yeah everyone's
figuring out the system
as they go
and sharing information
it's just a collective
shared knowledge
yeah and YouTube
just points you to
this vague fucking thing
like read this
manuscript
of bullshit
you probably did
something in here
somewhere
it is very vague
what do I tell you what
you gotta figure that one out
yeah that's the
fucking worst part
they're like hey
you broke a rule
we're not gonna tell you though
but also stop doing
it
and I'm like
okay well that
fucking sucks
unless you get
10,000 retweets
then we'll fix it
manually
yeah
that's why I think
the Patreon model
is kind of like
it's a cool
workaround
because like
you directly
monetize
and then you can
like put whatever
there
and then you can
I don't know
like our Patreon
blew up
and Ludwig
it was funny
because this
whole thing started as like a thing that I thought was our Patreon blew up and Ludwig it was funny because this whole thing
started as like a thing
that I thought
was going to just lose money
and we did it for fun
Ludwig was like
no we can make money on it
and then when our Patreon came out
and it just like really blew up
and we were like
uh oh
Ludwig's like
I can't make my friends
do things for my company anymore
they're going to work
they're going to make the money
yeah
we got a Patreon as well
and that was the same thing
like it's a shame that some of the stuff that gets taken down on YouTube now,
we literally will do stuff and sometimes be in the last edit
and we're like, we can't leave it in.
So it's really great to have a place to put it.
And also, we originally made our Patreon just because we needed the money
because it was costing us too much.
We weren't making anything, and now it's making us money.
But it also means we don't have any pressure or obligation to do any brand deals because we've got the patreon
Yeah, it's like it's also it's not only is it that it's also
Stress taking off or having to work with other brands and figure that out because not that we don't do brand deals sometimes
But the one off every now and then
We don't want to put a bunch of bumper stickers. Yeah, but yeah, we didn't have the patreon
I would be spending what I spend now
arranging the Patreon
or editing
I'd be spending that
on finding brand deals
putting fucking
podcast have put like
five ads
in their
one hour long cast
and they're young
five
yeah
ad reads
sponsor reads
yeah
they'll have a minute each
and it's like
a star
three in the middle
well even when we did them more
we tried to make ours
like super engaging.
It was never just a,
here's the logo on screen
and I'm just talking to you
like this
and you can use this code
to get this off.
Like we made
like high effort skits
most of the time
and tried to make it
something that was watchable.
So you don't feel like
such a sellout,
you know?
Yeah.
It's also people would leave
lots of comments saying
how funny this ad reads were
and how like
they didn't feel like
ads and then you can
also go to YouTube
analytics and see where
people have replayed
the video the most
yeah maybe we used to
just watch the ads
we've found basically
the same exact like
the way you described
it and like the
reception like and
we've luckily had like
people who we take
ads from be like yeah
this is chill yeah
because sometimes we'll
just like literally like
like we'll you know they only pay for a minute we give them three but we say whatever we want
they only pay for a minute they give you so much information sometimes you get a cram it didn't
you like it's not gonna be yeah that ain't for a minute yeah yeah i mean we have i have a loophole
because i i think the first episode i said this is indeed just a scam to get rich and once i hit
a million in my bank account fucking out
so don't forget that shit
every time you see an ad
I mean it
that once I have seven figures
go fuck yourself
you'll come back
you'll get a certain kind of lifestyle
you won't be able to
you need more money
one time Anthony was like,
we were talking about
the idea of pre-recording
some episodes,
and he's like,
but I like meeting everyone.
I do.
It's a work thing.
It's a schedule, right?
I like to see my friends.
I like to have a routine.
He likes seeing his friends,
so you're not...
Once it's seven days...
You act up on around
a million numbers,
but you're going to want
to talk to your friends, man.
What day do we film on?
I don't even know.
There's one that we can't film on.
When is it?
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.
When's Raid night?
We can't film on Raid night.
It's because Chad raids.
We can't film.
I'm on Argyle.
It's like an oceanic server.
I'll film.
We can film.
It was funny because Wednesday was like the most ideal filming day for us because Jess
has another job who does the camera work and Scott has the company to run and everything and I was just like no rage
I'm sorry it's the most convenient day but I raid on Wednesday
wrath is gonna come out and I'm gonna have to fight the fucking urge bro I want
to really get ahead on filming before wrath which is great because we're all
not all of us but a lot of us are locals. My guildies are like my second family. It sounds really gay.
No, it's not.
I went through it.
Actually, it is.
But I went through that.
So you understand, my man.
You understand.
Firestone.
We got an Airbnb booked with like a hot tub.
And we like crowdfunded a chef to come in and cook our meals.
And we spent a week in an Airbnb. Did you really?
Yeah.
That's so exciting.
It's really good because the game is great
and we're going to relive
what we wanted to.
As a kid,
I would be playing
with all my guildies
as a kid.
It would be so awesome
if we were all in the same house.
Find a chef,
hot tub,
big TV.
Guess what?
I got money now.
I can do it.
And now when your fucking priest
is just shitting the bed,
you can go over
and knock his teeth out.
Yeah, we bully the fuck out of our healers
And they got good
They got the shit
When I was younger like 1516
Everyone who was in like my my like Call of Duty clan met online stuff
We ended up meeting in real life like across the country and stuff and I like had everyone fly to my house
For a summer they stayed at my house for like 10 days it was like it was like had everyone fly to my house um for a summer they stayed at my house for
like 10 days it was like it was like 12 of us in my house and everyone brought their xbox on the
plane and we we set up like a 6v6 setup with like on one router in my house oh shit and uh and we
were playing it was uh you you group up with six people in the house and then the other six group
up too.
And you go out and you play lobbies and you have one 24 hour period to make a montage
with your side of the team.
And then you had to edit yourself.
You had to turn it around in 24 hours.
And then we like had a battle of the montages.
It was so fucking tight.
It's like a game jam or something.
Yeah.
Some very niche specific thing.
It's a game jam except for like racist cod edits.
Yeah.
Did you guys
did you guys like
land against each other?
Yeah, we also played
against each other
and like, yeah,
but it was just cool
because it was just like
when you're trying to hit clips
and it's fucking 2 a.m.
and no one's hit anything yet
and like you haven't
even started editing.
It's like it is crazy.
It was like a 40 hour film festival.
We used to go do the Xbox
because we used to bring
like two cartons of coke
between four of us
and we'd say
this has to be finished
Fucking 13 14 year old me at fucking 6 in the morning drinking
Honestly, I just thought you meant blow
Really cool teenagers
Gaming rules dudes rock and gaming you huh? Dudes rock in gaming.
While you guys were playing WoW,
I missed the WoW era
because I was busy playing
competitive Mario Kart Wii.
Yeah, look where that got you.
That's a flag.
That fucking hair.
And now you're bisexual.
Yeah, yeah.
Almost,
kind of actually.
I mean,
I've heard the pipeline
from Mario Kart Online.
There was a Mario Kart Wii competitive to discovering your sexuality pipeline for sure.
Yeah, and that's beautiful.
Yeah.
Because I think it's harder to do that in COD.
There's too much talk to Max Loon.
The media just paints it bad, but here we are discovering our sexualities while playing a little Mexican.
Is he Mexican?
Oh, Spanish.
What is he?
What?
Italian man with a red hat.
Mario.
Is he Mexican?
Finche way. Italian man with a red hat. Mario? Is he Mexican? I think you're thinking of Odyssey
when he goes to the sand level
and wears the sombrero.
You know what is so cute in that game
is he has a little mechanic outfit.
Like he works on cars.
I love Mario.
I like that they put his nipples in the game.
That was some good outfits.
We needed that.
What about peps?
What about peps?
A little pepperonis.
You're just saying everything's pepperonis then.
It makes sense. He's Italian.
You're Italian?
He's little prosciutto.
You said Max is Italian?
No, he said Mario is Italian.
I thought Max. I was excited.
Pepperonis.
We had a brother.
What's your guys' heritage now?
Tell us now.
I don't want to disclose it on camera.
You don't?
You're from Wales.
I can't.
Nah, I don't want to disclose it.
What about you, Max?
I'm 25% Aboriginal.
Okay.
You know what that is?
Yeah.
We respect our elders.
Past, present, emerging.
Yes, good boy.
And then I think
English or something
like that.
But mostly just Australian
really I would say.
Yeah.
Prison colonist.
Yeah.
20% luck.
20% skill.
Come on.
You guys are presumably
both uncut?
Yeah.
No.
I'm Jewish. You're cut? No way. We're keeping a You guys are presumably both uncut? Yeah. No. That's Josh.
You're cut?
No way!
We're keeping a tally with the guests right now.
Gentlemen.
Really, what is this?
Uncut's in the lead, I think.
I think it's like...
Not in this room.
Only one guest did not tell us.
Can you list every guest and tell me?
Okay, Carl Jacobs, cut.
Mr. Beast did not disclose.
Presumably cut
based on demographics.
I think every little bit
of information
that Mr. Beast has
is worth more money
than he's willing
to give you.
Uncut.
Uncut.
Ted Nifison.
Ted Nifison,
cut.
That's Jewish,
right?
I'm not sure.
He's Nivison,
whatever that is.
And then, who else have we had? Amaranth. In'm not sure. He's Nivizan, whatever that is. And then,
who else have we got? Amaranth.
Inconclusive.
I'm pretty sure
if you dig deep enough, you can find
a female cot.
Yeah, well, no.
That's just genital mutilation, I think.
Why is it not that
for men? What's up, guys?
This is me, Jordan Peterson.
Welcome back to the Bas and build pod. Who else we had in our show
Asa Butterfield is on cut uncut uncut. Yeah
And then Alex uncut. Yeah, I got a thing on Connor also uncut
Uncut we have so many international
guests that's why it's so special that
you your penis looks like our
penises
I don't know if the norm in Australia is
even if any religion is pretty normal
to get your penis cut just as an Australian in general
I don't think
from where I'm from at least I think more
people are uncut I was never really looking at my point of view. Yeah. From where I'm from, at least, I think more people are uncut.
I was never really looking
at my friends' dicks growing up.
Well, I was, Chad.
I might have to find
a friend on this one.
I don't know.
I think, yeah,
I think it depends
what groups of friends
you're around and stuff,
but Australia is pretty...
I asked my mom
when I was a little kid,
I was like,
why did I get circumcised?
And she's just like,
I think it looks better.
And I was like,
all right, that's weird.
That's weird, mom.
Well, she was looking out for me.
She was like, I, you know.
Your mom might get up in the morning and go, that's a nice cock size.
Dude, I've never told this before.
You want to know what happened?
When I was fucking 13, I learned how to jerk off, right?
Which, as you do.
Yes.
So I started jerking off with the, like, you know, things in the house as lubrication.
Wait, hold on. You guys never heard this before. You want to keep this on your cell phone? No, no, no. jerking off with the like you know things in the house as as lubrication this is for you too and so i i start beating my shit and then one day i was gonna go on a road trip with my friend who lives across the street and his family but right before something weird
was happening to my junk downstairs it was weird it was like it had like
this attached plastic film all around it and it was like it was like hard kind of like chemical
burn it wasn't chemical burn it was it was as if my dick was wrapped in like hard like heated
plastic what and i'm like what the fuck is on? I don't think anyone has ever said that. Unlocked a new phrase.
I get extremely scared.
And I'm like, mom, something's wrong with my peepee, my peep.
And she's like, well, what's wrong with it?
Is it getting hard?
Because she thought I was so fucking thick that I didn't know what a boner was.
But she's like, well, okay, it's all right.
Like, let me see it.
And she kind of examines it. She's like, I don't know what this is. And I'm like, I don't know either. She's like well okay it's all right like let me see it and uh she kind of examines it she's
like i don't know what this is and i'm like i don't know either she's like how do you feel i'm
like i feel fine and so i end up going on the road trip and then my friend's grandmother's bathroom
two days later i start peeling it. It was, it was,
it was,
I was shampoo.
And I didn't like clean it off enough.
So it formed like this protective cocoon around my shit.
And I was like peeling it like a snake molting.
Okay.
No,
that wasn't,
that wasn't protection.
I have had the exact same thing, but with something different.
Remember how I said chemical burn?
Yeah.
That's chemical burn.
Really?
Yes.
I chemical burn my shit?
Yes.
Is that why I can't come from a blowjob?
I had a problem with that too when I was a kid
because I used to just use random shit in the house for lube.
So I used to use one of my mom's face creams for lube,
and it had an acid peel like the same thing
one day I woke up and my dick was like yeah yeah yeah you come from blowjobs
no this is bad because it means there's no hope it means I irreversibly fucked with my dick and so did Chad
You're like the opposite of a superhero. No, you just you're not chemicals. What didn't get shit. You just lost the ability
I got the ability to last what I lost like a
Doesn't work for me because when I said, yeah
Okay
Last sexual anecdote on this show is also about busting it under a minute.
That's true, but that was because I was challenging myself.
Do you ever get into a situation where you're doing it for her,
and you're like, I just got to get over and done with?
Yeah, over 50% of the time.
Yeah, because it's hard to make a woman come.
It's really easy to make a guy come.
So just the act of trying as a man is enough, in my opinion.
Welcome back to the Basin Bill podcast.
No, just say that one again.
I'll, like, write it.
No, no, no.
It was a joke.
It was a joke.
Lick the foot again.
It was a joke.
Give me some of my foot.
No version.
There's a Bernie Mac bit back in, like, the Kings of Comedy.
He was, like, I always remembered it because I watch it so young.
I used to watch stand-up all the time, and I was, like, 10, didn't understand it. But he was, like, I got remembered it because I watch it so young. I used to watch stand-up all the time, and I was like 10, didn't understand it.
But he was like, I got three minutes.
That's it.
Like, that's all I'm going to give you.
And he's like talking about like fucking his wife.
He's like, what are you fucking screaming and shit for?
Just bust it up so I can go to bed.
And I was like, oh, that's what sex should be like.
Okay.
I'm 10.
What are we at for time?
What are we at, bro?
Oh, shit. Two hours? Oh, shit. I don't think she's going to get three hours. Oh, shit. Hour and a half. 10 what are we what are we at bro oh shit two hours
oh shit
hour and a half
we got you for an extra 30
my sweet little princes
do you edit
the much down
or
barely
we've never removed
more than five minutes
yeah
so it's just for censoring
things
or whatever
sometimes
amen fucks up a bit
you know
whatever
that was different
we filmed for like three or four hours and it's like you know whatever ours is different we film for like
three or four hours
and it's 40 or 50 minutes
that is unreal
yeah
wow
I think Ludwig's gonna be
the shortest podcast we've ever had
oh before we
can we end on that
I wanna ask
how was filming with Ludwig
oh we got him good
yeah
he came in
we got him real good
he came in like
he came in like
acting so cool
he's like
I'm putting my foot down here
hey beers
hey beers that's my limit. Hey, beers.
That's my limit, and that's all that's happening.
Everyone knew after three beers, you can't.
We got to throw up, so.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we won.
You filmed it?
Yeah, we filmed it.
Let's go.
If you can't publish that, we would love that footage.
I've never seen him puke.
It's holding like a plastic drawer.
Are you just totally
desensitized to people throwing up?
No, it was disgusting.
No, I hated that shit.
So you upload all of that
to the Patreon.
That's where that goes.
We give it to him to review
if he doesn't want us to upload it.
As long as there's anything people want caught.
Okay, I do need to shit. Can I shit in your bathroom? Yeah, go for it. You want to wrap it up there? Well, I need to piss again
Somebody else's mic. Yeah, you're not gonna have it right now. Say you're my bro. We label that one? Wait, no, no, it's coming. Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude.
Why is this so long?
Is that real?
Oh, it smells like eggs.
Holy shit.
Bro.
Bro.
Try it. Try it. Try it.
Try it.
Try it.
Try it.
Alright, thanks for watching the yard, everybody.
Oh my god.
That's our list of you guys.
Try it on.
It's delicious. I need to get closer. It's delicious.
I need to get closer.
Smell it.
Yeah.
Oh!
Thank you so much for watching our podcast.
Dude, fuck off.
Until next time, everybody.
See you in the Patreon episode.
I fucking...
I fucking knew it, dude.