The Yard - Ep. 72 - Nick's Tattoo Got Infected...
Episode Date: November 23, 2022This week, the boys discuss Aiden's trip to New Zealand with Atrioc, Nick's urgent visit to the ER and how Ludwig spent 50 hours inside a glass box at Dreamhack....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I was in a box.
I had a weird fan.
You had a weird fan while you were in the box?
Outside, after the box.
After the box?
Is this like a...
It's weird that you have so many fans and have never gotten any box.'ve been working on it all right you weren't here okay so we weren't struggling
well i don't think we were i think we're doing just fine i was taking uh look at that is home
i was taking the reins you were you remember i want to mob with my psychos you remember that
one yeah but do you like that one what was the i want to mob with my psychos You remember that one Yeah but Do you like that one
What was the
I want to mob with my psychos
What is mob psychos
The way you say it
Is like
Like you're a theater kid
It's an anime
Oh it's an anime
Mob psychos
I've never heard of this
I keep it a hundred
The way I mob with my psychos
What is the name of the anime
Mob psycho 100
Oh I forgot
I want to mob with a hundred of my psychos Easy is the name of the anime mob psycho 100 oh i forgot i want to mob with
100 of my psychos easy that's great that would add something that i would have laughed at do
you understand that i can do what he does we've labbed it too much though it's kind of the ruins
the whole idea yeah but i'm just saying that i did it on the spot before and they gave me shit
and they said we need nick back and you guys should no we don't we didn't we did need nick
back you know what because nick when he has the ones that are like, he sets them up.
He sets up low expectations.
I did this.
I did this literally.
By being shit?
No, I won't say it.
What's the low expectations?
I did this.
Who does that?
I did this to Dawson on Twitter like a couple days ago.
Because I was looking for like interior design.
It's so hard to find like pictures of like nice rooms.
If you go to Pinterest, they just show you the same pictures like over and over again.
And I was like, can someone send me like interior design like Instagram? And Dawson said like, you're. If you had a Pinterest, they just show you the same pictures like over and over again. And I was like,
can someone send me like interior design,
like Instagram?
And Dawson said like,
you're too scared to make a Pinterest.
And I was like,
no,
y'all hear me.
I put him to rest.
I did see that.
And I knew,
and I knew it was a stretch.
I knew it was a stretch.
Yeah.
I knew it was a stretch.
This is your guy.
I saw that one,
but it was,
it was.
That's the thing about my guys.
He throws a lot of darts.
It was purely for Dawson.
I was like,
this is the worst stinker I've ever brought. You know what's the worst part about it? He also ratioed Dawson with the stinker. That's the thing about my guys. He throws a lot of darts. It was purely for Dawson. I was like, this is the worst stinker I've ever brought online.
You know what's the worst part about it?
He also ratioed Dawson with the stinker.
That's not fair.
I'm not...
That's not fair.
Dawson doesn't deserve to get ratioed.
I agree it's not fair, but he's tweeting a lot, so he deserves it right now.
I like that one.
He does, yeah.
Where does that put me if I like that one?
He stopped his three months a year tweet cycle.
Yeah, he's back on his bullshit.
He's talking online again.
Well, I'm moving on to Hive. Anyway, we're back josh is gone what about what happened to mastodon well it's
still there it's so many syllables is what the fuck happened to it mastodon is for day-to-day
tweets hive is for big picture and you're a big picture guy you don't know hive i've seen people
making accounts don't know about it show are we doing an ad yeah no this
is just all i see on twitter now is like posting this in case like twitter servers destroyed my
hive i'll be there and it's like no you won't look i get elon elon and those h1b workers under
duress are gonna they're gonna keep the site up for us all they are look i hey i get the elon's
cringe train the site's gonna be fine it's not like the management before it was much better
well you know i did read a whole thread about like cis admin and like network security and
another problem that happens a lot on twitter child porn whoa really yeah so what you have to
do is someone from the philippines say post a child pornographic image i gotta do them like
that because that's why the filipino brothers and sisters that's what someone said
where is philippine i don't know what he's even talking about okay well done and he was strong
reverse circumcisions called a philippine he was a child king
i'm philippine let's say someone does this Give me ten minutes I can fill your pain With what?
Crud
Is this the new era?
We're just all trying to become that
Yeah
And no one can get through their thoughts
How about toothpaste?
Like it's a CD with scratches on it
Yeah give me a travel tube of toothpaste
In his foreskin
Ten minutes
And that shit is playing all of lincoln park's
hybrid theory yeah all right in the wall i saw that thread i read that thread but i also think
it's not gonna happen oh it's more like it's it's an interesting thing where it's like you have to
have a legal team set up that understands like other countries laws and how to navigate them
to like tell the philippine king to take down the child porn now. Yeah. That was like a Vinnie Paz lyric.
I feel like the Philippines just caught a few strains of it.
But it does get a lot of views.
So now we can make the title Slime Hates the Philippines.
Right.
But also Slime Hates Child Porn.
Slime's value system.
And then it's Filipino people and child porn.
It's like a scale. And Slime in the middle, and then it's Filipino people and child porn. It's like a scale.
And slime in the middle like...
Oh no!
What are these I don't like?
I don't know, man.
What did everyone do this week?
That's kind of fun.
Everyone went somewhere.
We will get into each of them.
We're fracturing.
I don't even know you guys anymore. You snapped at me earlier. I thought get into each of them. We're fracturing. I want to cover this. I'm not mad at you.
I don't even know you guys anymore.
You snapped at me earlier.
I didn't snap.
Okay.
I thought you were snapping at me.
Welcome back to the yard, everybody.
Episode 79.
69, excuse me.
Kill yourself.
Oh, with a gun?
Anyway, that's what I told Atriok on seat chat on the plane.
So you did?
I love that bit.
We'll get to that.
I thought you were mad at me. That might might be a felony because ludwig asked me to
help fix his computer and i was gone most of the days that i could have done it but i tried and
then we couldn't get it done in time and then he had to like work upstairs and i was like coming
in like kramer from steinfeld i was like hey how's it going everyone clapped and applauded yeah and
it's just ludwig here and he's like you got to get out of here he's up the doritos locos and i'm
like why he's like i gotta work i don't have access towig here, and he's like, you gotta get out of here. He's up at the Doritos Locos, and I'm like, why?
He's like, I gotta work.
I don't have access to my stream computer.
And I was like, I can't even be here.
I can't even just, if I don't say anything.
And he's like, no, you have to go.
And I was like, oh.
That's so funny.
I feel so bad.
You already did 20 seconds before that?
What is that?
He walked in and he farted for about 15 seconds.
So he's not, you broke the rule.
You didn't take the past seriously.
As I was farting
I thought about it I had enough
time you're like oh no the
rule I had enough time to think about this
as I'm farting in front of him
because it was like 15 seconds and I was like
this is breaking the rule but does
it still count because I don't live here anymore
this find out next episode
why would it change the rule
that's what I'm saying he's making addendums to the rule. That's what I'm saying.
He's making addendums to the rule.
If that's why you were mad, then that's, I don't, I'm sorry. Fucking bars.
Who produced this?
I was just stressed.
I'm stressed.
I have a lot of work today.
There's a lot of things going on.
Yeah, I feel bad.
Swift is a little sick.
So I was doing work and I had to work upstairs.
And it's VO, which is annoying to do upstairs when people are in the house.
I thought you were mad.
I handle your stress. So I do my VO and me and then slime comes in farts for 15 seconds
and I'm like fuck
and I'm like zipper how's the computer
and he's like shit's fucked and I'm like son of a bitch
then I go back up and I'm like
still smells like slime
and I'm like alright
I'm like 85% of the way through my VO I couldn't finish it
so you just have to sit in the fog of war
and try to get it out I go to pee and not your fault but in a Aiden's shit, and I'm like son of a bitch my nostrils are filled
Yeah, I poop too. You're getting we put we put that
Audacity open on lovely
Weird here yeah, but I feel bad because I feel like you had a really great weekend, but you're really
stressed now.
And I wanted to, we just, we're all proud of you.
It was really fun.
Why are you stressed?
Here's what I learned, Eamon.
I get no days off.
That's why I'm stressed.
I used to make fun of him for saying that, but the more, the more I observe him, it is
actually true.
I'm on a limited amount of days off.
I get some this week.
Thanksgiving.
I'm going back for break. Oh, but let's talk about our journeys we all took different journeys i didn't even know
about your two journeys oh yeah no yeah i guess i guess i barely knew about nicks i just went to
the east coast family stuff wasn't too crazy but at the airport today i i and little freak behavior
of mine uh do you guys did i tell you that story on here about the burger at the airport yeah yeah so we're back yeah well you know how it oh the best burger in la it was the story
you were too afraid to say because we roasted you so much because we thought it would be stupid so
i was so it was stupid and it's still stupid but i landed in a different terminal at the airport
and i said we should go get that burger We should we should walk to the terminal Yeah It's called wall burgers
No no no it's much more
Racist than that place you can get the twin towers
And it just
It's too undisturbed
It's just
Both towers and it's mark as a little action
Figure and it's like
Parachute mark
With the caption
If only
It's Mark in an Iron Man suit
Catching all the jumpers
It's like in and out
And you look under the cup but instead of the bible verse
It's like ways he could have stopped it
Things I would have done
Ninja stars
I would have simply driven the plane
He lands it on top of the tower 7 I would have re-hijacked it That's what I would have simply driven the plane yeah he lands it on top of the tower seven
re-hijacked it that's uh well look the story's short i walked to the uh terminal eight alone
uh no with zipper two okay and uh i got rewarded for it by the spirit of the gods i met uh
anders home no way he was at the restaurant no shit that's crazy on his home vic right you're talking
from on his home vic home vic in the show his real name's home no we use his christian name
here on the yard i think his real name's christian no no look at the sub zipper you really want to
look it up ondur's home son of a bitch and then what's his middle name go down durrs the true
durr son of a bitch big city
wow
that's his Christian name
you googled him after
no no
I just have seen this
you've known this
I've just seen this
the only way
I knew his name
is because of that
Hootie Allen lyric
where he goes
I've been working
like I'm Anders Holmvik
oh I see
I like when he goes
I thought he was gonna
be Anders Christian
I like when he combines
it's and Hootie Allen
and then he goes
study
no interruption
wow that was off key
anyway
you suck badly
that's it
that was cool
did you talk to
a hoodie fan
very small interaction
that's cool
big fan nice to meet you
yeah
and then
how was the burger
uh
did he come or what
you know what
burger wasn't as good
ah
son of a bitch
did you meet him
at the burger place
yeah
was your opener
this is the best burger place I've ever had.
No.
I was leaving, he was entering.
Yeah.
And I was like, it's your turn.
This is like an insecurity in Auckland Airport on the way home.
We saw Carl Urban, the guy who plays Butcher in The Boys.
Oh.
Yeah.
You fucking lawyer twat.
Yeah, that guy.
So he's like one of the most famous.
Hey, wait.
Real check.
Does he sound like that?
Yeah.
Yeah, he does sound like that.
Actually almost perfect.
He sounds like he's doing.
You fucking twat.
He's Australian?
No, he's from New Zealand.
He's from New Zealand.
So that's why he was leaving home to go to a shoot.
And me and A-Tron were laughing because seeing him in Auckland Airport,
because he's only one of the three guys you could see.
Yeah, it's like seeing Derek Jeter in Baseball Town.
Yeah, exactly.
I described it as getting a flight out of Sesame Street and Almos in security.
Do you imagine if we saw Kishida Renato at Soccer World?
That'd be nuts.
If you were imagining a celebrity
you could bump into, it's like, yeah, it'd be
him or Lord. Or Rise Darby.
Is he the guy in the
comedy TV show? Yeah, Flight of the Conchords.
He's the darling
of New Zealand.
Did you say hi?
No cause one girl Stopped him right before
I saw him
Sorry love, got a flight to catch
Sorry love
And he did that which was super weird
And I didn't want him to say that to me
I would be flattered
So I didn't interact with him after that
He's New Zealand but in the show
He has like a very crass British accent
Yeah he has like a thick Cockney accent
Oh that's why I'm so confused
So he's from New Zealand
He doesn't sound like that
Where is it?
It's a Cockney accent
The moment we saw him
He leaves and A-Truck won't shut
The fuck up about how he's about to become
best friends with Carl Urban on the flight.
I have a question for you in the H-Rock Aiden dynamic.
Who is the goof and who is the straight man?
Aiden's the straight man.
Cause I'm the goof.
Cause when I'm at H-Rock,
he can't handle me.
I'm such a goof.
He's like,
you got to stop telling people you're going to say the trigger phrase and fly the plane like you can't
Do this no I'm the goof
I needled him most of the time I would
Say and then he's the guy who's like it's not like
That it's not like that okay he's
Fun to razz yeah your little
Atrioc adventure is so interesting
To me yeah so much fun
I fucking loved it you guys went to New Zealand
I'm contextualizing this
To Shill if you're a,
if you're a Patreon sub,
we dropped a podcast episode.
Just me and him.
If you want to listen to that on a road trip.
Oh,
you did?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because H-Rock fucked up all the audio.
H-Rock fucked up the game.
He's one job.
You let him handle it. I'm driving and podcasting.
No, no, no.
You're dumb.
You're dumb.
I cannot believe you allowed H-Rock to handle any tech.
I'm driving.
I don't care.
On the right side of the car.
On the left side of the road.
First of all, I do that all the time with my Subaru Sandbar.
Not that hard.
I saw you bitching.
I'm driving with System 1.
I haven't driven with System 1 in so long.
I bet you turn on the wipers 8,000 times I did I did every time I tried to fucking signal the
wipers came on what is system one the bisexual thing yeah yeah it's when you
get so bisexual the car gets weird weird everyone in New Zealand is that we
think we got it rejects you it rejects you to shoot you out of the pod you're
an orange liquid.
I was getting on the plane when we were leaving.
Cause this is right after he's talking about all the Carl Urban stuff.
And I can see,
cause he got a,
he got an upgrade cause he bid and I can see that he's sitting next to a
woman.
He is like the window seat and I sit down in my seat.
He hits me up on seat chat.
I immediately tell him to kill himself naturally.
My man.
This one's for slime. About 30 minutes later, I got another seat chat i immediately tell him to kill himself naturally that's what my man this one's for slime say it again 30 minutes later i get another seat chat request from a different seat it's the one
next to him the one that the woman is in and i open up the message and it says message from carl Wait, wait a minute.
He used her seat to send the message?
He asked her to type it.
I wonder if he roped her in on it
or she went to the bathroom and he was like, okay.
The message is in.
He's writing it out
in a Cockney accent.
So I tell him
That guy's kind of funny.
How do you write that?
Hm?
How do you write that?
So, I think I said the equivalent of like, kill yourself again.
That's- that's-
Dude, that's crazy cause that other lady-
But it was different, it was different.
It comes back to all these messages.
To the woman in the seat next to the old man.
Cause I knew the woman was gonna see it.
I can't remember what I said.
Kill yourself.
But I remember when he replied, cause he's typing in the british accent or getting her to do it presumably and no no you have to say governor
said what are you doing he types it out so it says not a homelander fan a homebrews in the show
yeah and and uh and just tried to keep having a conversation with like the ladies with the ladies uh was he on your flight
yeah uh no oh if he was he was in like first you would be so sick to like go to the bathroom
and first and then try to message him oh yeah homelander real lmao do we have beef
that's why i didn't talk to him because one i have this i have this soft rule now when i see
somebody is the same reason i didn't say hi to toby it I have this soft rule now. When I see somebody, it's the same reason
I didn't say hi to Toby.
It's like,
if I don't remember their name,
I don't deserve to say hi
or get a picture with them.
It's like,
if I-
Bad rule.
I think that's a good rule.
Fuck it.
They're famous.
Wealth inequality is a problem.
Get a picture of them.
They're your token to be used.
That's their wealth tax.
Yeah,
but-
Get a picture with your dumb ass.
But also,
Aiden is a world famous
podcaster superstar
that's what I should have gone up to him
I should have gone up to him and been like
you don't know me but I'm like you
exactly we're the same you and I
he's so handsome
he's as handsome if not more in real life
it sucks you didn't see the bald guy
Frencho
oh I love Frenchy
you look just like my friend
That I podcast with
Please listen to it
That would've gone well
He'd be like
This is the worst day of my life
So far
Today
And then
We know we'd be the same
Yeah
And that'd be cool
The real reason I didn't say anything to him
Like
For sure though
Was cause the girl
Who interrupted him
Or like
Or stopped him
Like it wasn't
It wasn't miserable
But she hit
Every bad beat of the fan
interaction like in front of me she she's like she only talked about the boys she called him by
his like character's name she said say hi to the cast for me at the end like it was just like
every bit he goes back he's like grabbing coffee and a bagel and says like hey everyone sorry if
i have your attention please for one moment a woman in the airport yeah says hello and he's like grabbing coffee and a bagel and so he's like hey everyone sorry if i have your attention please for one moment a woman in the airport yeah says hello and he's like very he was also
walking very fast out of security so he clearly is like trying to be on his way and when she
stopped him he's like he he wasn't rude but he very obviously didn't want to stop and i was like
this would be a terrible time for me who had to Google his name to go up to him.
It couldn't be Ludwig.
You stop Ludwig in that situation, he's like,
yeah, what's up?
Straight back, shoulders out.
I say walk with me, that's my thing.
Oh, you say walk with me.
Walk with me.
That's actually more special than not being told to walk with them.
Yeah, stay here, I'm going to walk, and then we'll meet up later.
I started doing the Mr. Beast a bit. That's terrible. Stay here, I promise I'll be back. told to walk with them yeah stay here i'm gonna walk and then we'll meet up later that's i started
doing the mr beast a bit that's terrible mr mr stay here i promise you can do it the the pewdiepie
way for a while where he had like a code word that only the fan no i'm not saying you should
i've done this funny i've done this the code word way i did it i made a video and i was like hey if
you see me you have to say this phrase and And the phrase was, you're looking fine as
hell today, way skinnier, no cap
on God, like a fine piece of ass.
Something like that. Wow. Did anybody say that?
Very long, very convoluted.
If you're wondering, every streamer actually
has this code. So go up to all
men, women, all of them have this one.
A lot of the female streamers, even
they go up and you say this code and they take a picture
with you. Yeah. Or you can use the other code which is
Supfemoid and that works on 3.2
And you go
And you go just kidding
Fusleys is Joe Biden's skeleton
So
She likes that one
Anyway this code was used once ever
It was when I was at Disney and this guy comes up to me
And he's kind of nervous at first And I can tell and he starts and he's like um hey so um you're looking way skinnier
super fine no cap and it's like i can clearly tell he has never spoken like this in his life
like please don't finish and i and i and he's like wringing a hat in his hand like
and you scooting it and goaded with the sauce.
It took three minutes.
I let him do it.
He got through it.
And then after,
I was like,
we did the pig,
we did the whole thing
and I went back
on stream and was like,
never again,
chat,
never,
just say hi to me.
I feel like you've
maybe set it up though
where like now
the annoying people
will still do it.
No, no,
it literally
only ever happened once.
Would you be happier
if he nailed it?
If it sounded natural? Yeah. I would be like, oh, it's funny, you remember the thing, it's literally only ever happened once. Would you be happier if he nailed it? If it sounded natural?
Yeah.
I would be like, oh, it's funny.
You remember the thing.
That's cool.
Like you're a real fan because a lot of people come up and he'd be like, oh, that's it.
That's everything.
It just lets me know that they watch me more than for us.
I think that's just doctor.
Yeah.
Doctor.
I love doctor.
I love doctor.
Doctor's great.
It's actually the funniest thing we've ever said.
And we've never said it. It's actually the funniest thing we've ever said, and we've never said it.
It's the best bit of 2022.
It's the funniest MKUltra bit
that has ever happened inside someone's mind.
I had the ideal fan interaction
right at the end of the trip.
Me and Atriok went to Auckland.
We flew from Queenstown to Auckland on the last day,
so we had get there in the morning
and our flights in the evening,
so we have the whole day there and
the first stop we just told the guy
like the driver to take us to like
the city center and he immediately takes us
to Sky Tower which is like the most
recognizable thing in their skyline
but it has a casino in it
and I have PTSD
from my last gambling adventure
so I do not want to gamble but
A-Truck's like come on
Yeah and you gotta use didgeridoos there
Let's go check it out
You literally have to go
To get chips from the cashier cave
Yeah and then they're shitty chips
They're 60 cents on the dollar
Why would you want those
Some of them have chocolate inside
We go to the casino
Walk in
There's only one active blackjack table
and there's three people sitting down at it and one of the dudes recognizes us his name is david
and he says hi calls us over and uh asks for a picture and then he's like do you want to play
and i'm like oh man i'm not he's like come on man you gotta play come on and i'm like this guy
probably knows you're down bad. Yeah. And then
we sit down. We sit down to play
and me and Atriok run it up
a grand each
in New Zealand dollars. That's right.
New Zealand dollars.
While we were playing, Atriok
ran out of chips. David
is not only a cool guy
the entire time. He's cool. He's funny.
He spots Atrioc when he runs out
and he helps atrioc double on every bet and there's this rule where you can't exchange chips
at the table there but you can do it if they like don't see so david's handing chips to atrioc like
under the table like this holy shit and like they're like making a gag out of it right and
then he gives atrioc the last Hand to run it up the rack
On our very last hand to go
And uh so David spotted us the
Whole time was super nice and uh
Pulled me onto the table when
I would have never sat down
Real homie awareness week David
Get it twisted you will win
What's funny is you would have hated David if you lost money
This story would be a lot worse
David this fucking piece of shit, was like, come play.
I didn't want to play.
David, know that my fondness for you is totally conditional and based on money.
Speaking of Aiden fan interactions, he tell you guys about fucking the guy at the grocery
store?
Oh, yeah.
I saw that on Twitter.
You met a guy at a grocery store in LA.
Yeah.
And then met him later on in New Zealand.
Yeah, I met a guy.
You fucking psycho.
No, it's a guy who you stayed with.
On this trip? Yeah, isn't that? Yeah, I met him in on in New Zealand. Yeah, I met a guy. You fucking psycho. That's the guy who you stayed with. On this trip?
Yeah, isn't that?
Yeah, I met him in LA in a grocery store two months ago.
Buying pumpernickel.
We added each other on Instagram.
The weird part is you're at a grocery store.
What the fuck were you doing?
Yeah, you don't cook.
He was at a rich person grocery store.
It was crazy.
Really?
Yeah.
Zipper 3 said we should go to Air One to see what it's like and i was like
yeah i've never been in it's like milk is 12 and shit yeah it's just for fun bougie la store
because they sell like weird shit too like they sell i did drink raw milk for the first time there
from this oh that's where you got it yeah you got the raw milk with all the bacteria and the cow
it's where you can buy milk that says it only benefits
you if you're a Sagittarius.
You know, like that type of product.
You get charged up from the hot milk.
You're talking shit about it like you didn't go.
Everybody's on their CoStar while
they're shopping there. That's why I feel like.
You find this weird guy in this weird store
and you say, I want to sleep in your bed. Yard fan.
Oh, yard fan. Yard fan.
Yeah. That's the interesting part.
He comes up to me and then he says like he-
We shouldn't have affluent fans.
That's not cool.
We're affluent.
Yeah, it's fucked up that he was normal and cool
and then gave him a tour of New Zealand.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Yeah, he was so sick.
Isn't that fucked up?
I like the idea of our fans being like freak sludge people.
Sean was the opposite.
No.
If you're a true and blue Dot in the wool sludge person
Who listens to the yard
You're welcome here
They're reflecting us
We're too affluent, we're too out of touch
For the true blues
Me? Yeah, you
What are you talking about?
He's not out of touch
I have been coming over lately
To pick up Josh
for various reasons or pick up things
from your house. We live so good. It smells
so bad. I don't know what is going
on. The house smells rotten.
Please for the
love of God figure out what it is. We live
good. Just open windows even.
It's so awful. I don't feel like
you should be telling me how to live my life with my
son. It's okay. That is a bit true. You raise your own fucking you should be telling me how to live my life with my son. It's... Okay.
That is a bit true.
You raise your own fucking kid.
If your son went to school, he would be bullied for the way he smells because of your house.
No, he wouldn't because he's tall and I've taught him how to fight.
That doesn't mean he doesn't get bullied.
No, he won't get bullied.
He'll win the fight.
My son has a pocket knife.
Here, son.
I gave my son a weapon.
Take your chrome to school.
Yeah, I gave my son Two different types of guns
No my son is tall
And he can beat up his bullies
And he's good at video games
He actually has a broken arm
He can't do anything
No he
He's baby mode right now
He works
Last night we were watching
He lost SA Nick bro
He's not
He's not beating anybody
That's a hard matchup
We were watching
Street Beef's YouTube
Insane YouTube channel
They got like
Fights with like 10 million 40 million views and shit.
Josh was saying he watches it all the time,
and he has a favorite referee.
Who's this guy?
It's like literally they set up a cage in a field,
and they have unsanctioned MMA fights.
And it's like a 6'9 dude who's completely shredded
versus a guy named Lil Thunder.
No, no, no.
Baby Hulk is crazy.
I'm not kidding.
Look up Baby Hulk, please, zipper, on YouTube. Baby Hulk is a fucking
fighter. But the matchups are usually
pretty good, but there's this one
ref who wears sunglasses
and has short hair. Every time he's like,
alright, let's work.
And then they start fighting. And he's like,
this is my favorite ref.
It's my favorite ref. And he was just showing it to me.
And that's been our nights.
We just spend the nights watching YouTube and hydraulic press videos and street fights.
And not throwing our trash away.
And not throwing the trash away.
They are your ideal roommates.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Josh has improved my life.
He's my son.
I'll take care of him.
You're going to need to adopt a real son when he's gone.
I'll be okay.
He'll stay, though, forever and ever and ever.
Forever and ever.
He'll stay forever and ever.
Forever and ever.
You need a cleaner.
Another kid.
I cleaned today a little bit.
Wow.
It's because our trash...
He brushes teeth.
We have so much trash that it piles up And it doesn't fit
In the bins
And then we have to like
Wait
Do we have the same bins
Take one of our bins
For the next bin
I don't think that's illegal
You can't do that city
The city will freak out
Okay
Alright
But yeah
Liberals
We live good
I think for Thanksgiving
Me and him are just gonna play
Kingdom Hearts 3 all day
That's cute
That's so nice
So
Family life
We're gonna Uber Eats The closest thing to turkey No no We Uber Eats All the food the night before That's three all day. That's cute. That's so nice. So, family life. I asked him.
We're going to Uber Eats
the closest thing to turkey.
No, no.
We Uber Eats all the food
the night before
so we can make it through the day.
I asked him if he wanted
to come with me
to visit my family
and I'm getting turned down
for Kingdom Hearts.
You didn't ask me that
and that's mean.
It's because I've asked you
twice before and you said,
oh, no.
Yeah, what's up, bitch?
You did say yes last time.
Yeah, let's work.
Show me Baby Hulk. I want to show what? Baby Hulk on the screen is what i'm gonna fucking do to you put baby on the screen zipper
there he is nope baby hulk yes sir that's my guy look at how fucking stout he is
yeah he is so much stronger the guy is fighting this is not the guy that's under mifflin
oh my god the way he swings i'm telling you not fair. The guy in the Dunder Mifflin shorts is going to win. Oh my god,
the way he swings. I'm telling you, bro.
Oh my, okay, that's a lethal kick.
Dude, this is sick. That is not a lethal kick.
We were watching this all night. It looks like he's shaking
out his legs. You know
when the first hit connects, like, Baby Hulk
just has this one in the back because he doesn't let go.
Boom! How are they allowed
to put this on YouTube?
It seems like you're broadcasting assault.
You can put UFC highlights on it.
Well, yeah, UFC is a sanctioned event.
This is an unsanctioned, because that's like a
thing, is like you're not allowed to broadcast
fights unless it's sanctioned, which is why
the sanctioning process is a bitch and it used to be mafia run.
Because otherwise you're just broadcasting assault.
Do you know about the dual law in Washington?
Like dueling someone? You're allowed to duel someone?
Two people can legally fight in washington as long as they both agree like verbally agree
on site that's pretty so if like you're outside a bar in like a public street if you both say yes
i think you have the legal right like a witness there to make sure yeah a notary and you can just
get into it so right after you get married you can fucking they stamp your forehead with the
washington seal and then you can fight the shit out of your friend yeah that's totally well i want to do
that to you because what what i cut you off is that i went i tried to go and then you bailed
on your own family yes i did do that do you want to go i gotta book my flight oh my god okay no
no you can play in your stinky play kingdom hearts in your stinky house we've had a great
thanksgiving before wait wait
me and you
yeah
yeah we did
we went to the
supermarket
and we got Jesus candles
and beans
and a can
it was actually
the worst
Thanksgiving dinner
I've ever had
but it was
the great times
but it was
it was the memories
that we had
it was actually worse
than hanging out
with my family
so it was actually
worse than like
every way but
no it was
we didn't have nothing it was 2018 we had each other with my family. It was actually worse than like every way. No, it was. We didn't have nothing.
It was 2018.
We had each other.
That's right.
Nick was gone.
He abandoned us.
He does.
He's always got people.
I'll remember.
I'll remember.
My family's never celebrated Thanksgiving because they're European.
But then this year, my mom called me.
She's like, we're doing it.
I'm like, what?
She's like, we're doing it.
Like the first time ever?
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Does your family do like a French Thanksgiving?
Or like an American traditional Thanksgiving? Yeah yeah they make a cigarette casserole yeah is that what you like yeah why would there be a french thanksgiving well i'm so i have like to be i have
like middle eastern friends who just do like their own type of food and they don't do like american
traditional like turkey and stuff sure like does your family go european or are they just doing
we would always go to someone's house if we did thanksgiving it's just like always bum someone's house it's just like uh oh you would like do the
friend the family friend thing yeah that's actually so hype going to the family friend's house that's
a strat yeah because you don't have to do shit you show up get fat dude the last time i did that
the last time i did that i was on mushrooms oh that's right i remember that yeah the last time
we did that is when you went to
shab we went to shab's and then you threw up before the dinner i threw up i remember that
did i yeah we were doing thanksgiving what and i had gone to thanksgiving i think you came with me
with my sister and we ate like around lunch uh because my sister lives in el ayer i'll just go
throw up so i can eat again and then we went to shab's thanksgiving same. And you're like, I'll just go throw up so I can eat again. Oh, that's right! We went to Shab's Thanksgiving same day, and you're like, I'm full, but I don't want to be rude and not eat.
And usually you're just a fucking empty hole of a stomach.
We ate like kings with your sister.
Yeah.
So you threw up, and then you're like, I just suffered.
I just ate a bunch.
But yeah, you yacked.
Didn't we do, like us three and Zeke went to Hot Pot for one Thanksgiving, didn't we?
Or was that Christmas?
That was Christmas.
That was Christmas.
Yeah.
Was it COVID Christmas?
No.
It was 2019.
It couldn't have been COVID.
Oh, yeah.
Cocaine Christmas.
Yeah.
Nick was off hanging out with his family, and then all of us went to Hot Pot because
it was the only thing that was open in our neighborhood.
And then Zeke came.
It was the first time that Zeke came.
Yeah, Hot Pot, and we were, like, bad at it.
Yeah, we didn't know how to...
We didn't know What to do or what
We couldn't find the clit
Yeah
They were talking
Shit about us in the kitchen
There were like
Four white guys out there
They don't know
What they're doing
Do you like
Cooking at the top
Or is it like
A little higher
Oh man
I think I'm cooking
The pee hole
Oh shit
Yeah
Sounds like a delightful
Thanksgiving
You're about to have
I was gonna say
Oh yeah Shab
That's when we played
Frog Smashers
Oh my god
That was so fun
I miss Shab bro
I saw Shab
You weren't there
Rest in peace Shab
Alive
We hung out recently
We miss you so much
He's not like Breslin
Shab is dead
He's alive
Shab did go to ASU though
Yeah he did go to ASU
Him and Breslin died
In that plane crash
There's a plane crash
It was in 2001
Private?
Commercial?
What?
Okay first of all
First of all
Isn't that crazy?
This dates these two
It isn't
It isn't
I was
I was in privacy
It was the one that crashed in the field
Cause you know what
Shav and Breslin
They got to work
Okay
Anyway Sly
What'd you do this past weekend?
You know what I'm saying
Where'd you go?
I went to New York City
Oh wow Back again Okay I wanted to New York City. Oh, wow.
Back again.
Okay.
I wanted to make sure the job was done.
Hey, kids.
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And we have great deals this holiday time.
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Nick? Is that chicken parm salad? That's the chicken parm salad
I see over there a lot. Yeah.
Bangers and mash!
If you're from the UK,
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But mom, it's Henry Kane.
We can't go to the grocery store.
We don't have time.
I've had the sweet potato and black bean tacos and they are fire.
They are flames.
It's also really easy.
You know what I'm saying?
You get bangers and mash delivered to you.
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And for some reason you're choosing English cuisine which is an L for sure
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I want bangers and mash.
Well, you don't get it, little British Timmy,
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All right.
And that's it.
Coming home.
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It's coming home.
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It's coming home.
It's coming home.
It's coming home.
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We go to this thing called Carwell.
It's a cult.
It's like a fake cult.
And it's this guy, William Banks, who's this comedian.
And it was really interesting. Stage name, Faze Banks. So it's like birds are not real it's like yeah basically the lore is that
car world is like it's its alternate dimension where he was abducted and like had sex with a
bunch of worms and everyone in car world has like arms for their heads or they have three arms i'm
sorry and uh everything's cars and he has like created this like weird like fake cult in in
new york that's so tight about it and everyone like goes nuts for it was a gala it was black
tie i had to dress up you know it's called gala right uh gala gala what are you met gala
is what is this uh you're not right you can't be French The fucking Yankees
The fucking towers
Why is the French tower
The fucking towers
The tower cities
They're big Jeter fans over there
You say the Al-Qaeda
We don't
We don't know
You don't know what?
Al-Qaeda is mysterious.
Great.
Good to know.
New character unlocked.
That's what I did.
Oh, man.
That's great.
That's fun.
Dude, speaking of being gone, last week I was not here.
And I had a bit of a...
What?
I had a bit of a...
I know, right?
We replaced you with an
australian both times i realized oh wow yeah oh here on the pod i thought you were talking about
how you went to east coast again no no just on the pod and uh i don't know if you guys talked
about it i was apparently i was tied up in the corner yeah yeah yeah you were you were right
there near the rake oh i was behind you guys yeah yeah you had a cock ring on okay and and the key we had
to lock pick it that was annoying do cock rings have keys i knew how to do that this was so it's
a chastity belt cock ring it was it's accomplishing the opposite is it not it was an amazon basics one
so it's kind of cheap so so it's okay so i get it so it's a lock that's meant to keep me hard
yeah one ethernet cord like the blood can't leave my penis until you unlock
you're like trying to explain something that was on your car right well i'm trying to cope
with trauma the entire time so uh so my other self i guess was uh you inhale you were sweating
like a pig i uh yeah So I went to Montana
That's where I get tattooed
And it was my last session for my sleeve
I've been working on my sleeve for 10 years
Which is like insane
So I was like oh shit I'm finishing it
It's kind of cool
I'm like gonna finish it
And skipping like the first 75% of the story
I had two back to back day sessions
So one on Friday and one on Saturday
I get tattooed all day Friday Go go to bed, get tattooed all day Saturday.
And then Sunday morning, I wake up and I take off the wrap and my arm has this big bulge
like on the side of it, like a bubble.
And I'm like, oh, that's not good.
And I show the artist, he's like, that's infected.
Oh shit.
And I'm like, oh, what do I do?
My fight leaves in 45 minutes.
Can you show where it was yeah
i'll just like because i can go so it's a lot of its heel but you can see like how it's all crusty
and how this is all red that's supposed to be blue oh it's still so like all this is supposed
to be blue you see how it's like weird fleshy color like that's all supposed to be blue shit
and it went it anyway so i'll get there so so uh
he's like you basically need to go to the er like right now because you need antibiotics like the
fastest you can get them and i'm like okay well i'll fly home and you know because when i looked
at it there it was like a bulge here but that was it there was nothing else and i was like well i'll
just like i have i have like a layover in salt lake and then when i get home i'll go to the er
i get to salt like two hour flight i go to the bathroom i take off like the rat to clean it off and it has gotten so much worse it is like my
whole arm exactly requiem for a dream that's what happens yeah i started so i my whole this is like
starting to like ooze and get like cracky and bloody and stuff and i'm like oh god and it's
also like around the other side now and i'm like fuck this is so bad but i have to get home like i don't have like an option so i get home i go straight to the er uh and they go yep that's infected they take me in they
fucking like clean it wrap it and they give me antibiotics they suck the poison out yeah they
sucked it out it's the only way you get it out they use the suck the suck they had to take the
cock ring off too which was annoying because they didn't have the locks they had to call it lost the
key call the guy what are you gonna do a guy. What are you going to do?
You see it in his neck.
This is the lock picking lawyer.
It's me on the table.
With a boner. I'm like, please.
Lock picking lawyer.
Today we have the Amazon Basics cock lock.
It's like the first one. He's like, I don't know.
This is well made.
I don't know.
He's beating me up.
I'm trying to keep it comfortable. If I was your doctor i would have used leeches to solve both problems suck at the puss and suck out the blood in your dick yeah because we would have gotten there because now we have
suck boys and they don't do the job too good anymore so i'm at i'm at the hospital i can't
move my arm my arm is stuck in this position, like this 90 degree angle.
Cause a lot of it's on my elbow.
Like a lot of it's in fact on my elbow.
So like if I move it, it like, like rips it all open.
Um, so I get, I get the antibiotics.
Um, they ask if they want, if they want, they asked me if I want like an IV drip and it
just like puts it directly into my arm.
And they said like pills were as effective.
So I just took the pills.
Um, and at this point, because my flight came home late it's 1 a.m and i'm like at the yard i'm fucking exhausted and uh um this is also like kind of
taking a toll on my body i'm a little bit sick too like i had a cold uh so i go and they give
me the antibiotics and they're like you need to take this like right now but you have to take it
with food if you don't take it with food you're gonna get sick i'm like fuck okay so i go and i'm
like in la i look and the only thing open that's anywhere remotely close
is like a mcdonald's that's like 20 miles away look you guys know me you guys know me i don't
eat a lot of mcdonald's but this is a medical emergency how the fuck is that possible how's
it on it was insane you were there was two things there was two things open i was prescribed
mcdonald's the clown the clown doctor said it's time to eat my burgers there's two things open there was McDonald's and then there
was not Monty's the other like vegan in-and-out place I can't remember what's
called no fuck it but it was only delivery and it was like in the heart I
had to go to downtown I can't believe there's every Mexican joint it's like
usually open really like everything was closed yeah Albert tacos Albert's tacos Albertay. Yeah, Albert Tacos, Albert's Tacos,
Albert's and Tacos and family.
All of them are closed.
And so I'm like, all right,
I guess I'm fucking eating Stinky Don's.
I'm fine with that.
It was pretty far.
So I, and I'm like, I'm in so much pain.
So I'm just like driving.
I'm like using one arm
and like I can't set my arm down anywhere
because like the elbow's infected.
So I'm like holding it up like this.
I'm like driving and I get to McDonald's and I'm behind this guy who i can only assume is ordering the entire
restaurant he he's like in line i think i was behind for like 25 minutes i've never seen anyone
he's the only person in line besides me you don't go to mcdonald's that's how it goes baby so so
homies having a crisis you imagine getting out of the car and then like flashing the dude, your arm.
No,
I didn't get bit. I didn't get a medical emergency.
I just let me in.
I just got to use the play place for a little bit.
So,
so I'm in the drive.
I finally pull up and they go,
Hey,
uh,
it's cash only.
Is that okay?
They love that.
I'm like,
fuck.
I'm like,
Oh,
I don't have any cash.
I'm like digging through my glove compartment.
I'm like,
no,
I don't have cash.
And they're like,
sorry.
And I'm like, so I look at my phone, like what's digging through my glove compartment. I'm like, no, I don't have cash. And they're like, sorry. And I'm like, fuck.
So I look at my phone.
I'm like, what's the next nearest place?
And I'm like, okay, there's another McDonald's
like 10 miles away.
So I go to the next McDonald's,
pull in the drive-thru.
Hey, it's cash only.
Is that okay?
And I'm like, dude, what?
And I'm like, I don't go here often.
I'm like, is this a thing?
After midnight, like they just do this shit.
And so I'm like, well, surely,
surely the third McDonald's isn't cash only. like well surely surely the third mcdonald's
isn't cash only so i go to the third mcdonald's cash only i'm like at this point i'm like mad
i'm like is there anything i can do to like pay with debit and they're like no and i'm like fuck
i'm like fuck it look i'm gonna eat fucking mcdonald's that's why i want mcdonald's at this
point i'm like i want and need my prescription yeah to be filled and so uh i'm like i'm gonna
find an ATM.
So I drive until I find a gas station.
I find one.
And it's a big glowing sign.
It says ATM.
It's lit up.
I'm like,
they got an ATM.
Great.
I go up and the door's locked to a 24 hour gas station.
I've never fucking seen this ever.
I've also seen this. How have you never seen?
You,
I've never,
I've never gone.
I've never gone to a gas station.
That's 24 hours.
Silver spoon in his mouth.
Either they're clothes and lying or they have a window
That you can't go to the store
MacBook as a kid gets you this experience
Neither happened
The guy's in there and he comes to the door and he opens
He's like what do you need
I'm like I just need to use the ATM
He's like it's broken
I'm like your ATM's broken
He's like yep
I'm like turn the sign off bro it's glowing
So I leave Then I drive like your ATM's broken He's like yep I'm like turn the sign off bro It's glowing So I leave
Then I drive to another ATM
And I get my cash
Go to McDonald's get my food
You know what my shot would have been I'm thinking about this whole time
Just Venmo the worker like double the amount
And they might be like yeah
That's such a Ludwig gambit
Can I Venmo you for this food
I will literally send you double the amount of the meal
if you just like use your own cash.
I didn't think about that, Lud.
I should have thought.
That isn't outside the box shit.
That's pretty...
This all explains why you came home
at like 3.30 in the morning.
I ended up getting my food,
eating it, taking my medicine.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, what'd you get?
What was your order?
I got a double quarter pounder.
Ooh, you nasty little sticky little bitch.
I was very hungry.
No pickies.
No pickies. Took the pickies off. I're ordering like it's In-N-Out.
I was ordering like it's In-N-Out.
No pickies. It left everything else on it.
And then, oh my mom, and then took the pill.
And then I went home, got home at 4. Did you get fries?
3.45. Yeah, I got fries. But I couldn't finish them.
How do you fucking, that shit hurts me to eat.
It was like hurting my insides to eat.
He's not built for speed. The salt will make
it abrasive in your
bones. The infection starts climbing up like
venom it's good for you so i get more mcdonald's on it so i think it's all over i get home and i'm
like fuck i have to shower but i'm kind of like all right the shower will be kind of like
therapeutic i can wash it off it'll be nice it'll look be relaxing before i go to bed i get and i
realize i have all this medical tape on and it's a lot of it's like kind of on the infection so i spent maybe an hour in there like
peeling off i was too afraid to rip it off i thought it might take off like infected skin
you possess a lot of coward bro in general okay you're a fearful man look at him what's going on
watch what happened see him look at how smooth he is what's going on what point are you trying to
prove oh you waxed your armpits you know what this is like pulling off skin but with hair i would
look think about that you know what wax my pubis have you watched yeah me too guys i was in the
shower hey we're the same shut up i was in the shower i'm taking them off i'm like nearly crying
like it hurts so bad and i was thinking slime is a warrior.
That was what I was.
I literally,
it motivated me to keep going.
I was like,
I need to get through this.
It took me probably an hour to get all of them.
I'm like Mufasa in the clouds.
Dude,
I,
I,
this is,
this is probably,
I kept having this thought of there's a,
there's a book series called gone.
It's like a young adult book series that I read in high school.
And it not worth explaining the whole plot, book series called Gone. It's like a young adult book series that I read in high school. And
not worth explaining the whole plot, but there's this
guy who like loses his arm
in like an accident and it
turns into like this like whip
slash like tentacle thing
and then he becomes like psychotic
and starts killing people. And in my
head, that's what I thought Nick was going to become.
Yeah. So you thought he was going to be
Chainsaw Man. Is that who Chainsaw Man is? I haven't seen the anime. you thought he was gonna be chainsaw man is that who chainsaw man it i haven't seen the anime i thought he's gonna become a roachimaru
no yeah roachimaru i wish i took more photos i'll post some in the disco in the patreon discord but
i i have some from like when i was in salt lake and it started to get bad i don't have any from
when it was horrible uh but the day after even that night i was like well i got out of the yard
in the morning and i was like I better get to bed
And I woke up and I'm literally like
My arm is stuck in this position
I'm in so much pain I have a fever and body aches
And I'm like I'm not moving
You looked awful
It was bad I haven't felt that bad in a super long time
And then Aiden loaded the cock ring up
Onto your body
He's like come on sport you're coming in
Like when your friend Who's too drunk You gotta like get their clothes off and get them in bed onto your body. He's like, come on, come on, sport, you're coming in. Like, like when you're,
when your friend
who's too drunk,
you gotta like,
you gotta like,
get their clothes off
and get them in bed,
you know?
It's like,
it's like,
his shoes were on
so you had to draw
a dick on his face.
Well,
somebody's gotta
put the cock ring on.
He's docking my penis
to his to slide it over
because he was
already wearing it.
I kept it warm.
I was worried sick.
if you don't want him to have a cold cock ring on the morning,
that'd be annoying.
Nobody wants to come home to a cold cock ring.
No.
Dude, it's so funny.
I just saw my whole family for this trip,
and I don't really see my family too often.
And we haven't all been in the same place in like fucking eight years or some shit.
And all of them, even my grandparents, listen to the podcast.
Christ.
They all had these loose caricature ideas of who you guys are based on
like you guys in the show.
It was really funny.
They were bringing up like,
you know,
it's why I'm like actually this and like,
it's Aiden actually.
Hey,
every one of Nick's family members,
I will fuck and suck you to completion whenever you need me to do that.
So I'm actually this mean in person.
Do you like,
I feel like,
how's that mean?
My family is like 90 percent women i know ladies a fellow strong italian yeah yeah well uh that was my that was my little trip that's
crazy joshy uh joshy was like last night i didn't know this affected him i posted that picture
of me shooting pointing a gun at him
and he was like
cause I said the Joshie up
was a 10 of 10
which it was
and he's like
was I really that bad?
I was like no
it's not that
it's the thumbnail
it's the how it works
it's the algorithm
yeah he like
had to convince him
it was you
but now that he's not here
we can be real
it's Carl Zero
it's done better
it was you
we had a podcast
with Australia
and it's Carl Jacob' face in the thumbnail.
Dude, we did the exact same episode, same title, and literally same thumbnail, but it's
all him.
Yeah, that's right.
I should drag Carl's face on.
Look, man, there's one difference this episode.
I don't know if you can speak to an Australian accent.
And then Carl would go, I want to mob with a hundred psychos of mine.
And then it's good, right?
It is great.
Hey, we don't need him anymore.
Yeah.
Swap seats. Kill Nick. Kill Jesta. Well, that's is great. Hey, we don't need him anymore. Yeah. Swap seats.
Kill Nick.
Kill Jesta.
Well, that's a little.
Anyway, I was in Atlanta this whole weekend.
Yeah.
It was so fun to, throughout the whole weekend, pick up my phone and just see what the GOAT
was up to.
Dude, shout out to the dream team.
And the GOAT.
Jayme, Yan, and Yingling.
Yeah, yeah.
Nick, Yingling.
It was the Nick, Yingling experience featuring Ludwig.
I didn't even know
James was on it
until it was all over.
That's so sick.
BTS loaned him out
like a prize who were
he wasn't meant to be.
It was he was second
string because it was
Jared.
Jared had to back out
because he got sick.
Oh,
it's a Jared like
latter not Jared.
Sorry,
James last day like
was like,
you know,
he's going to go.
And I was like,
damn,
this is crazy.
Like,
wow,
I love everyone on
that squad can just L cancel. Yeah. like wow i love everyone on that squad can just
l cancel yeah like yeah everyone in that squad will give you a little trouble in bracket and
that's so hype that's awesome yeah it was great it's the most you three have ever watched my
stream and i knew that because after it you were talking about it for like a lot of the weekend
you sent me a text after the stream which has never happened and then you tweeted about it
which i don't think has like happened the real subathon that's all we did was watch a subathon
every time on the trip me and a track we'd be like let's just check in it was really nice and
then we'd look at like what you were up to like what the money was at and then every time we tuned in like expectations blown away
um it was such a fucking sick concept my experience was watching with my family like
no yeah he's in a real glass box no yeah everyone's watching yeah no he's sleeping here
i was like trying to walk them through it yeah yeah did everyone ask how i pee yep everyone
you have to leave right yeah how did asked. You got to leave, right?
Wait, how did you pee?
You got to leave?
Yeah, there was like a bathroom that was like 30 feet.
I was there to hear the first explanation.
I was like, ah, this will be a common question.
You could have had Dreamhack dig a latrine in the box for you,
and then it would have smelled a tenth of what his house smelled like.
Oh, you could have made kombucha.
My house doesn't smell like piss.
It just smells like rotten food It smells like shit
In rotten food
You know what they should have done
Is had like a apparatus
Just like permanently
Attached to your
Like a catheter
Yeah that's the thing
But it's like a leash
Like you're an astronaut
And it's your arrows
And you just walk around with it
In like a diaper
I had a
Why didn't you tell them that?
I well What a shit what a shit thing you did
I didn't want to poop in the box I thought you know
I'll just go to a bathroom
that's what that song's about
poop in a box
oh yeah the original
plans had a bathroom inside the
room that was like walled off
but they couldn't actually put
plumbing in the middle of the floor.
Like Porta Potty was the play.
That would be stinky.
Latrine.
Stinky bears.
What's wrong with being a stinky guy?
Aren't they built to not be stinky?
Because of the fluid in it?
Well, I mean, it smells...
Have you ever been to a Porta Potty?
He doesn't go outside.
What the fuck is this?
Outside of a Porta Potty doesn't really smell that bad.
Yeah, but do you do anything?
Wait, wait, wait.
I think outside of Porta Potty does smell bad.
His parents paid for Final Cut Pro
You ever go to the fair?
My parents did pay for Final Cut Pro
That is insane actually
I got it free, when you work at Apple you get all software free
It's the greatest perk
I got it free too
I use the shit out of it alright
I got a 20% discount at Bed Bath & Beyond
It is the only thing I asked for as a kid
That I used the fucking shit out of
for years and years.
I was very impulsive. Listen, if you go to the
fair, then there's a bunch of port-a-potties
and it doesn't smell good, Nick.
A new port-a-potty might smell fine,
day zero. It smells like that blue liquid.
But after Nick Yingling drops a few in it,
you know, Nick Yingling and you
just putting up nasty dunkers.
Sour. Sour. T-Pain has to use it on day three t-pain walks in smells nothing but shit has to sit there shoot me the paintball gun
oh yeah how was it how was uh meeting t-pain what was that like i was it was random either so the
the box the box stream uh was 50 hours raising as much money as possible for charity did great raise like 314k that's great
i think which is my highest beats the subathon i think uh and wait really for charity yeah for
the charity aspect because the last day was for charity uh and uh it went good i had like a few
things probably like 15 things lined up going in and we're like we'll do one every 10k and then
very quickly we were like that's not enough and it's hard to like do new things on the fly.
So we tried a couple, but two of them was Dr. Lupo came to hang out
and he was great.
And then T-Pain came because he happened to be at DreamHack
because he lives in Atlanta.
Yeah.
He's also really sick at Rainbow Six Siege though.
Yeah.
He's also a delight.
Him and Big Cheese.
Yeah.
They're great.
They're funny.
That's hype.
And they shot me the paintball again twice. life a mocha that's you know who else had that same idea as you james charles you're the same oh that's not yeah not a good thing oh so you had
the same idea to have a warehouse well that that's jeffrey star so now you're homophobic Wait what? Who's James Charles?
James Charles is the one who plays Mario Kart
Thinking James Charles and Jeffree Star are the same person
All gay people look alike
Because Jeffree Star
Is like they look so
Different
But they do both have a makeup company don't they?
They both do makeup
I don't think James Charles is a makeup company who's cultured now they're well still not you you're jeffree star was in a few hollywood
undead songs so hollywood we're never going down i know that shit uh what you can send me a video
what of what you oh with our fuck aiden chant yeah i forget why we started watched a whole group of people
in atlanta say fuck aiden did you did you expect two questions one did was there any ever a point
where it was happening where you got kind of worried like what do i do yeah there's one point
where i was worried i would die from a fan oh wait what So the whole entire thing went very well, I would say.
It went swimmingly. I sat in the box
for 49 hours
and 45 minutes, 15 minutes to go shit
and do a... I did a bath
in a sink. First time ever.
A whore's bath. That sucked.
Nah, it's not that bad.
It was bad. All I had was the paper
towels, the automatic soap dispenser
and the automatic water dispenser
And I was like I have to make it I have to take a bath without spilling come back to the dinner table smelling like
hand soap little bro you're not getting top tonight
Everything went great though all the challenges went well the only thing that was annoying is being in the box and then having people come
Up to the glass and bang on it
Fucking annoying was being trapped in a box publicly yeah what people do so shitty that
was tough it was tough because they would they would for 50 hours and then they would have a
note on their phone and it'd be like it'd be it'd be asking for something or like a joke and but
they would either they would hold it there for five minutes and i would be like at my computer
like reacting to a video or playing valorant and they would just have it there for five minutes and i would be like at my computer like reacting to a video or playing valorant and they would just have it there for five minutes and i would
be doing this dude they'd be right there like they'd be waving it and i would just not look
contact your shamu were you the whale yeah you're just the whale bro people are coming up and
fucking with you and yeah you're just trying to vibe i felt like a fucking fish in an aquarium
and i was like this is annoying i kept thinking of that one scene in finding nemo where it's the girl's braces oh that's actually what they look like long enough
inside you kill somebody like an orca yeah you know you know they've never killed somebody in
the wild an orca has never killed somebody really but they've killed like like a lot of people to
be fair how often are you running into orcas in the wild we go to the aquarium
because that's where the orcas are i feel like at least one confirmed orca kill in the ocean
should be on record also who's confirming it the orcas got the body noah big orca hides those
bodies that's what i'm saying they want us to think sea world's bad ceremonial suck off for I lost patience by like the last day from all the bangers.
Cause then I was like,
Oh,
I'll give them a little attention.
I'll read their thing.
But then they wouldn't leave.
Like there's this one kid,
God bless his heart,
James.
He was like 13 years old and he was in the box and I gave him a little
attention.
And then he just kept doing puppy dog eyes and be like,
can you sign this?
And it's like 30 minutes left.
I'm trying to raise as much money as
possible for charity there's 40,000 viewers I'm like
James no
dad's working
and then he went over to our James the producer
and he was like can Ludwig sign
this later oh my god
we gotta learn when you said and you were like James
take him out
James you wanted his fucking head
James did what needed to be done which is good because Jared also would have done it.
Jared can deadlift and James knows MMA.
These are two true facts about two true shooters.
And then there's this other kid who's in a green sweatshirt who's being helpful.
He would like bring me eye drops because my eyes were losing it.
And I tried his LSD eye drops and they're fine.
And then the next day he like don donated 10 bucks and he's like,
how are my bits?
And I was like,
what do you mean?
You're just doing nice things.
And he's like,
oh yeah,
fair,
fair,
fair.
My bits?
What?
He was in a yard hoodie.
It would be a bit if it was.
He's probably watching this.
Also,
did you see the guy that,
uh,
everyone called him slime cause he was bald,
which was annoying,
but.
Oh yeah.
The guy on my subreddit.
I think Andre, who came into the booth and then.
Oh, he's the one you pied.
We did RPS to get pied in the face because I picked a random person.
And then that same day he got appendicitis and went to the hospital.
No shit.
Like he was in the hospital.
It's contagious.
Whoa.
Like you just gave him appendicitis through a pie.
It passed from me to him because I have it.
The Ludwig Paya fan contest gave someone appendicitis through a pie. It passed from me to him because I have it. The Ludwig Paya fan contest gave someone appendicitis.
I was worried I was going to get sued because there's another viewer, Jasmine, who came in the box.
What are you festering in there?
And we did the Luddy together.
Came, like, arrived in the box.
Relax.
I mean.
Holy shit.
That's a dope ass contest you're doing.
You're 30.
So she arrived in the box
And we did the Luddy
Woman does the Luddy
And comes live
In front of a studio audience
In Atlanta
At a gaming event
Do you love it?
Do you love coming to Carlson?
Tug of Carlson
Some kind of gamer convention
Women are orgasming
In a box
Could be you.
Could be your kids.
This is what the liberals want.
They want you to come inside a glass box.
Dream hack?
What's that?
Go ahead.
She came in the box and did the Lottie
and then while she was doing it,
hurt her knee.
I thought she tore her ACL.
No.
I read about this on the subjectreddit. The clip is crazy.
Sometimes when you go crazy,
that's part of it.
The clip was crazy
because I turned away for a second. I turned back.
She was on the ground. I was like, what happened?
Oh my god. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like,
we're getting sued. All the money's got to go back
from, we got to take it back from the kids.
Yeah, the kids can,
they can make it one more day. They'll hold.
They're resilient.
I need to tell you guys about
the barge.
They're out there
in the waters. In the waters
of international commerce.
There is a barge.
And it's full.
It's full of
shady race.
Here's the thing.
Slime and Aiden lost us to sponsorship
because they talked about a barge for too long.
So this is your friendly neighborhood Ludwig.
The barge has so many sunglasses on it.
From Shady Ray's.
I'm Bar Simpson.
Fit style performance without the big brand price tag.
We're talking about Shady Ray's Black Friday Selection,
which is out right now.
Hey, Shady Rays, look, love you.
Thanks for the free stuff.
Maybe send me a prescription so I can read our ads.
You got fit style and performance without the big brand price tag.
If you lose or break a pair, even on day one,
they'll send you a new pair because they have a lot.
30-day exchanges returns, the best protection
product of any eyewear, the loss of broken coverage.
It transfers to anyone from
the barge to you. They have a lot
on the barge. They're ready. These sunglasses
sat off the port of Long Beach for
months. And it didn't matter because
they're still completely
intact. That's right. And polarized.
As well as
three specific details. I look like Johnny
Cage. You look like Johnny Test.
The captain of the boys.
They got into
the crate. They have a few
parents for free.
The captain and the boys get
a crate. I'm just saying.
Can I tell you? The nice thing about Shady Rays is
the captain always gets a crate.
Look. Alright, fellas, you're having a good time, but can I tell you three specific details I like about these?
One, polarized. Two, look good. The color?
Three, inexpensive. Look, they got the cool shades that- look, I look like I play for the Angels
None of the people around me are doing things that'll help us get through this read, but I am
So I'm gonna tell you the big- the big hook. You look like Jose Canseco.
ShadyRays.com, use code
the yard. You get 60%
off during the Black Friday deal.
Alright, Kazooie? Are you right?
Because Banjo's here to tell you, the code
the yard gets you 60%
off. Aiden's crying because the deals are so good.
Hey, during their Black Friday deal only,
ShadyRays.com, use code the yard. If you want
to look like me right now.
You will look like him.
You'll look like me.
You will win.
5% of every sale goes to support your local barge captain.
And the Shady Ray.
How come the Kool-Aid at the top?
Anyway.
Just go to the fucking website.
Go to ShadyRays.com and use our code.
Or don't.
We all die someday sun beats down
hard on the barge i'm a steven doer i'm a steven doer on the long island port back to the episode
wait so who almost killed you uh so so that this is this is that was all the annoying things but
it all went great we raised a lot of money yingling was the go but at the end after the
stream ended i wanted to uh shake the hand and kiss the baby of everyone who's in the crowd so i had them form a nice
orderly line and i went through them all uh and everyone was great and there was this one guy who
who had been around for most of the weekend uh and you know he was nice and and whatever but at the
very end he was like can i get a pick i was like great let's get a pick then he's like i have
something for you he takes off his backpack and i'm like i'm like can i hold
the backpack and he's like no and i was like okay don't love this then he reaches in and he's like
reaching for a while and it's not that big of a backpack and he grabs onto something i can sense
it's somewhat big because i can see his veins and i and then i get i instantly my heart rate just
jumps up so i reach in with him and i
pull it out and it's deodorant and like a can of it like a spray one okay i was like i was like
thank god nice he's like it's because you stink and i was like and i was like great yes that's
worse than a gun i wish you had a gun yeah at least you wouldn't have to hear that fucking
racing and then i'm like i'm all right, I'll keep this.
And then he's like, well, no, I need it back.
You can just use it.
And I'm like, this was stressful for not a lot of value here.
So I give it back to him.
And then he leaves.
And then the only other thing with the fan, there was this kid who's like 11.
He walks by and he looks at me.
He does one of the double take.
And he just happened to be at the convention.
He's like, Ludwig?
I'm like, yeah, how are you doing? He's like, not so good not so good my twitch got banned and I was like that's a bummer we chat
a bit and then I'm like you want to pick because I want to go and he's like I don't have my phone
he's like so sad so I'm like oh I'll take a pic and send it to you do you have like a twitter or
something he's like no but and he's like kind of alluding as a number and I was like I can send it
to your number he's like well and it's like kind of alluding as a number. And I was like, I can send it to your number. He's like, well, and it's like kind of weird to message his personal number.
So I'm like, what's your dad's number?
So he gives it to me.
Take the pic.
I sent it to him.
He has texted me five times since then on his dad's number.
And I keep reading it and not replying.
And then he's like, damn, left me on read.
And I'm like, bro.
So if you're watching this, Ryan, let's just move on with our lives.
Also, Ryan, you shouldn't be watching The Yard at all. We were
just talking about a woman coming in a box.
Also, there's furry
porn. You can actually watch
furries fuck. There's way better stuff to be
watching, like what Nick said. So go check that shit
out. And to Ryan's father.
And to Ryan's father, I'll see
you in the parking lot.
Oh, that's sweet. And that was
that. That was the weekend. What would you rate the parking lot. Oh, that's sweet. And that was that. That was the weekend.
What would you rate the whole experience
overall.com?
I think we could have
planned more. A couple things fell through.
Like Flakesley and Kai
who was supposed to show up.
I thought, yeah, were you just like
did Leslie just catch a stray?
Yeah, no, she was supposed to show up
to do fooscuts to do the haircut, but then she couldn't
go. So I like roasting her
now and calling her flexly.
And then Kai replied, said he was gonna come
and then the last day he messaged me at 545
and was like, ah shit, just woke up. And I was like,
classic. Does he live in the area? He lives in Atlanta,
yeah. Okay. But I'll tell you
that one great. At least you got an
Afghans feature. I like Afghans.
He's great.
These events, all charity events,
live or die by how much they raise,
which is like the thing people latch onto,
or how it ends.
And ours didn't raise,
they raised a good amount of money,
but not like compared to like Jacksepticeye
or, you know, Dr. Lupo,
who raised like 5 million every time.
But the way it ended, I think was sick.
The tattoo thing at the end was dope.
Did you think you scammed?
Did you get tattooed?
I missed the ending.
No.
What do you think about the scam?
What do you mean scammed?
Because everyone was saying that you scammed.
Did you scam?
Do you know what happened?
Yeah, I watched the whole shit, you dumb pussy.
Do you think I scammed?
Kinda.
How?
In what way?
Explain what you did to Nick, our friend.
So at the end, The final finale thing was
I get a tattoo the top four
Donors are the options for the tattoo
And then chat will vote on those four options
So it ended up raising like
50k within like an hour and 15
Minutes which was our
Most in any time frame and
And at the end it was between two options
One was the twitch logo and the other was
Coots. And it was neck and neck.
It was like 50-50. People are so simple-minded.
Yeah. The things that
just are next to him. Yeah, the dumb
public is so easy to fool.
Relax, Kevin Spacey.
You're all fools.
And we'll take
back what's ours. You did say that.
And then the end is 50-50 and I was supposed to end the poll
like right at like whatever time limit
and right as it ends I click
but I thought it ended the poll it just collapsed
the poll so I open it back up to end
it and in that time frame it's
switched from the Twitch logo winning to
Coots winning like just that five
seconds maybe if I hit end
it could have because it does take a while to chunk
and load in,
that Coots would have won anyway,
but it looked as though
Twitch was winning.
Everyone on LSF
thinks you scammed.
I feel like you are
cringe for reading LSF.
I'm just telling you
what the people think.
No, no, no.
I'm telling you you're cringe
for reading LSF
and I mean that.
And second,
I got a tattoo of,
I'm getting a tattoo of both.
So it's not a scam in any way.
Oh, wow.
So, okay.
What I was going to say is I think a Coots tattoo is better. I'm just getting both. I'm saying more tattoo of both. So it's not a scam in any way. Oh, wow. So, okay. What I was going to say is I think a Coots tattoo is better.
I'm just getting both.
I'm saying more favorable.
Sure.
So you going with the less favorable option is like kind of hard.
You probably didn't scam.
And then also you're getting both.
You're definitely not scamming.
Get Coots with some like little Coots poops around it.
Get Coots, but the Twitch logo is Coots's butthole.
Yeah.
You got less funny after you went to New Zealand. Thinking about Coots but the Twitch logo is Coots' butthole You got less funny after you went to New Zealand
I was thinking about Coots' poop
So when the cock ring slid back
It like
It sucked out of it
It was like Space Jam
You guys have to connect your cocks
So that was it
Not a scam
On your palm?
That's insane, right?
That isn't, did they pick?
No, I picked.
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
I said it before going in.
Wow, it's going to heal like shit.
It'll heal like shit.
The thing about the palm is that it goes away.
Oh, you want it to heal like shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you really want it to go away, you do the center of your hand.
Yeah, the palm, Matt, who was the Chess Boxing World world champ who was there for a lot of it
Had like three tattoos over the past six
Years on here and he was like yeah they just go
Away after a while
They don't go all the way away but they definitely fade
Because your hand bends
I think maybe because he's also boxing
And he puts gloves on
But they were for sure like I could see only one
Yo
Why does it go away?
So the inside of your hand
Has a lot of folds
So you're constantly scrunching it like this
Which is wearing down
The tattoo in a way that like
It being somewhere else where it's like uninterrupted
Also you're generating a lot more like sweat
And dirt and you're like replenishing
The skin here more often
Your tattoos aren't pretty It's a lower layer of skin it's like the dermal layer some shit
so just you're regrowing over it gets lighter dermal is skin there's levels of dermal epithel
i don't remember no epidermal what is the word for it and the seventh dermal layer it's like one
of the mormon layers of your skin it's like in the purgatory level Basically if your mom Got a tattoo on her vagina I would Come on
You can't even finish
I just invited you home
You're gonna be crass
And you can't even get through it
I just invited you back home
With me
It would be gone very quickly
I don't even want you to come
I don't even want you to come
You didn't invite me
You didn't even invite me
I just invited you
During the episode
He did invite you during the episode
Earlier?
Yeah
He said it
What about Joshy Bears?
What?
You can both come What about my bears what you can both come what
about my friends all my friends joshy bears we go to your family i uh how are you guys's meetup i
saw you guys did a meetup in new zealand yeah we did i was actually could the talk about tattoo
stuff uh reminded me of it because the meetup was super cool way more people showed up than we
thought we did it in wellington which i didn't know fuck all about wellington until we got there
uh but we basically met a bunch of people and then a third of them probably about 15 people
uh just hung out with us for the afternoon and like showed us around we went to a museum together
uh walked around like the pier it was called losers and everybody everybody was uh
we studied we uh who wasn't dope huh you said everyone was pretty dope everyone was dope
who wasn't everybody was really who sucked no give me wins and fails like an atrioc thing oh
everybody asked to see everybody so we bumped into a few more people over the course of the
trip that like recognized us and the people that meet up, everybody wanted to see the T1 tattoo.
Everybody wanted to see if it was real.
And laugh at him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I will say I thought it was fake for a little bit when he had, we got the picture cause
it was like not red and it was just really like fresh looking and I was like, things
off here.
But as real as the day is long.
So good.
It's very cool.
New Zealand, pretty relatively new country
in the grand scheme of things and this museum
showcased one of the only
like notable battles
in New Zealand history
and normally when you would like learn
about a big
like battle or war in
your country's history I feel like you highlight
the winning moments right you would
highlight these historical like heroic stories where like you won the war the battle not if you're french
this whole oh the french have it rough because they lost like everything right true each other
you guys won a few in there napoleon got a couple hundred percent but this whole exhibit was devoted
to a battle in world war one that New Zealand just lost really badly.
Against who?
Well, we tried our best.
Against the Turks.
Against the Turks in World War I.
It was a really interesting and sad story.
Dude, it's like when you're at a bar and two huge dudes are going at it.
And because they're fighting like two random people
start fighting yeah you're like what a weird dumb fight you kind of forget all those parts because
like all the narratives about world war one and two are like very centered around like the few
key nations and like a few areas of the war but in both wars like it really was a world war like
all of like africa and the middle east are like all involved in these conflicts too
and we just never talk about it but what i gather from the exhibit is basically that the british
sent the new zealanders into battle knowing that they would lose and then they and then they just
suffered horrific losses with some notable small victories during the battle and then they had a kid and then they
went home traumatized that's what the whole exhibit is devoted to and it was kind of awful
is it resentful like is the vibe like fucking british how dare they do this it was it was a
very like it was very uh realistic and like it it captured like the suffering that they went
through while they were there and like an individual like individual heroism of like
small portions of battalions and like what they had to go through during this like basically
unwinnable battle and uh and there was this incredible part of every the exhibit was
segmented in like the
different segments of time that they were um that they were there for and each exhibit is introduced
by like this massive uh realistic sculpture of like a human being from that portion of the war
and it's like incredibly detailed and so i i i wish i sent a picture to Zipper earlier,
but it's so beautiful to look at
and captures so much human emotion.
But it's like you're seeing a giant in front of you.
And that's what introduces each portion of the exhibit.
So we did that for the meetup.
And it was cool because they all learn about this
in depth in school.
And they were able to elaborate
and contextualize a lot of stuff for us.
This is just a really nice trip. Weird
thing to do on a meetup. Yeah.
But it's just like. Alright guys let's go through
horror. Yeah well you guys like went to
school together. You like met up
and you were like let's learn now. You were like
Miss Frizzle. This is actually tight.
You have a whole body of people who can contextualize
things for you. Yeah it was so cool. So nice.
I did the whole trip
I realized I was doing this with a fucking
ipad kid though oh a truck a truck was an ipad kid this whole time we're driving through new
zealand we're seeing some of those beautiful things i've ever seen in my fucking life
and he is head down on hearthstone for no joke 50 of the trip oh my god i i you know when i was
traveling around the truck for theack for the Mario Party thing
I was like he almost lost his phone I was complaining to Ludwig
And Ludwig was like he's worse than me
And I was like no
Wait a minute he is
War flashes behind your eye
He literally is
I think I have a video somewhere we're going up
We're going up this gondola in Queenstown
To get to the top of a mountain
That gives you this amazing view of the whole city, the lake, these mountains.
And we're on the gondola going up.
And me and Sean are looking out just like, wow, this is fucking incredible.
And H-Rock is literally playing Hearthstone and cursing to himself because he's losing.
And then tweeting, ugly fucking city. And it's like, now we himself because he's losing. And then tweeting ugly fucking city.
And it's like, now we realize that he meant it.
What an asshole.
I love him more for it.
What a piece of shit.
I always say my branding's worse than how I actually am.
I'm great nowadays.
You're just hung on to the past.
Yeah, I am.
I got my fanny pack.
I have damage from you.
Yeah, grow up.
You're a little baby ass baby.
Shit, I'm a baby ass little baby bear.
Let's unpack that.
I was hanging out with babies recently.
That's not something you need to tell people.
You do keep sending pictures of the babies.
Stop doing that.
I was talking to the babies.
I'm sure you were saying a whole mess of stuff.
One of the babies, her name is Ezzy.
And she does this really cute thing where if you ask her questions, she'll shake her
head or she'll nod her...
Oh, she'll answer the question. I can do that.
She'll just non-verbally ask me something.
She's a little baby. She's like one and a half.
Ask me something. Do you
think those shoes look good?
Do you think Ludwig's a cute little baby
now? Ludwig nods his head like a baby.
And she has little...
She has her eyes open. Do you have baby fever right now?
Dude, Amos found a baby for the first time.
You're going to museums.
I think I have baby fever.
You're traveling around H-Rod.
You want babies.
Yeah.
What the fuck's going on?
I think I'm growing up.
Is the yard growing up?
I don't like this shit.
I was sitting with the babies at a taco restaurant.
Yeah.
And I looked at Ezzy and I said,
Ezzy, do you think the fbi killed mlk
so she knows and i i turned i turned to zipper three and i'm like see see there's a lot of
evidence it kind of adds up and then i look at ezzy again and she's like you know it's funny
the way aiden reminded himself of this
is a note on the board that says baby mlk death theory which i thought was gonna be way different
is a sick band it is a sick band but i i thought you were i thought you were gonna go into a big
pepe silvia situation where mlk was killed as a baby. No, no, no, not now, horse of truth.
It's not time yet.
And that he never existed,
but in a different timeline, he did.
And that's not what happened.
Yeah, you just wanted to like Mandela effect MLK.
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's crazy.
No, it's just babies think that the FBI killed him, and I think that's
substantial. Babies, no. Have a baby, man.
I do think you'd be the worst of the four
at raising a baby.
The baby's crying, and he's just playing Melee,
can't even fucking hear it.
What? I found you!
Why are you hungry again?
I'm really patient.
Dude, I was losing my mind
just alone
thinking like
that I was in the airport
and I just start
fucking cracking up
because
I had this idea
of a Patreon goal
we talked about it
last episode
the Patreon goal
was where I'll take Viagra
we had podcasts
I was not
I missed this one
and so but that's an idea
another one
at the same time
we take viagra and aiden gets cornrows
and and i was just thinking and then we and then we post a picture of me and hbox is at a different
party being like guys guys aiden has cornrows yeah right and people are like uh that's weird no yeah and i was losing my
fucking mind at the idea of jude aiden was just cornrows and a huge
that would be such a i want to take nudes
dude i just kept i look like an insane person I'm just sitting in there I'm just laughing to myself
That's new for you
Oh man
So let's make it happen
Do you think we're drifting apart?
Uh no
We just spent a week
A week
In different states
I was excited to come
Hang out with you guys
I was too
Seeing everyone
Yeah
Cause you know why
I was
I liked
I was really proud of Ludwig
And that made me feel good
No we're not growing apart
We're growing together.
I had that feeling, too.
Did you have that feeling, even though you're busy?
It's like, my weekend ended, and I was really excited to see you guys.
The pod?
Were you excited to see us, Ludwig?
So excited to see you guys.
Oh, my God.
He hates us.
I love hanging out with you guys.
He fucking hates us.
It's going to be weird.
Not like the pod, baby.
Do you think in a year he'll still care about us?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know how I knew he cared?
Why?
Because he got them to do the fuck Aiden chant.
He was thinking about me that day.
I guess that is true.
Oh yeah, my other question was, did you expect Nick Yingling to become such a force of the show?
I've always been best friends
with nick yingling i know he's known he's a star ready to shine i know he is i saw that and i was
like this is nick yingling's breakout event i kept calling him i was the one calling i was like
yingling you gotta come in here gotta hang out you gotta handle things yeah i liked that a lot
we're hanging out that was great he's great so you you you saw in the stars Nick Yingling.
Extraordinaire.
Because who doesn't like Nick Yingling? Nick Yingling made all of you.
Yeah, 100%.
He made California Melee.
Nick Yingling.
It's true.
Nick Yingling introduced, in a way, all of us.
Yeah.
Well, you wouldn't exist without California Melee.
True.
Do y'all just actually think about it?
It would be so fun to do a similar thing But all of us aren't trapped
Oh in a box
Not the same idea
An elevated idea we think about
But I think it would be funny to all be trapped
Well you were saying we should have done a podcast
We should have done an episode in the box
There was an original idea to do that
When I brought up the idea on stream
Because I've been thinking about this idea
For like 6-8 months now
How did this come about by the way it was originally a carl jacobs idea a little bit
different his was he wanted to go to a mall and then be in a mall in a subathon and every sub he
has to stay longer in the mall so then i was like okay what if i did it for charity and i'm in a
public area i was thinking like third street promenade and then every like 100k is another day i spent
in the box every every uh ten dollars someone poops dude the mall is a good idea because you
can like do fucking contests and give away shit in the mall yeah like gift cards to a store in
the mall or fucking you get a tv from a fucking people poop from the second story and it fills
up slowly and you drown i like that idea of like every store. And you make the sonic dying noise.
Okay.
Get somewhere here.
Every store in the mall has like people assigned with like lines and you can make like a whole
kind of choose your adventure story thing for the main person in the mall.
Love the idea guys in the room.
All right.
You should do a subathon.
Okay.
We're getting there.
Can we work out in the garage during the subathon?
Keep cooking on this one.
Keep marinating.
And then DreamHack,
we pitched the idea to them and they were down.
Is it just because it was a place
where people gathered?
It was because they did all the work.
I think this is gonna...
I was thinking about this a lot. I think that you're gonna start a
wave of event organizers trying to get streamers and youtubers to like do activations i feel like
i feel like we're trying to do so many people what are like other examples you're kind of talking
about also off-brand that is kind of the goal of off-brand but i think a lot of uh places don't
have good creative so people won't do it and if they they do do it, it'll be bad. You know,
it was kind of,
uh,
I, I assume annoying for point crow,
but like he was talking about the,
the Mario party thing,
uh,
and like on stream after it happened and everyone kept asking,
so did off brand like make this?
He was like,
why did I think that he was like,
no,
because no one knows what off brand does.
Like the,
the understanding of like how influencers and corporations interact.
I think they do understand what off-brand does, which is why they asked.
I think they asked because they think off-brand's reach is bigger than it is.
They understand that off-brand does productions.
This was a big production.
I've been asked by several people, what is that?
You know, and.
I think if you're asking if Point Crocree was working with off-brand, you have some
understanding that off-brand does productions.
Yeah, I guess. It was really funny though. He was like, no. That's great. between those people was working with off-brand you have some understanding that off-brand does productions yeah I
guess it was really
funny though he was
like that's great
that's like the
offline TV effect
where it's like
everyone's not
everyone's on
offline TV but
90% of the people
you think are
think about to
like uh
let me know someone
who has literally
been planning that
idea for like a
long time of
Mario Party in
real life.
Oh yeah.
And then point coders came out of nowhere and did it.
I feel like that probably shit all over that person.
No.
Well,
they talked about it cause I knew they were both doing it ahead of time.
So I linked them.
So they were cool.
Okay,
cool.
You made them tongue kiss.
Well,
they did that willingly.
I didn't make them cause that would be bad.
Right.
You know what?
Josh tried the other day.
The tongue kiss you? Cosmic brownies. The first time yeah they're made he saw him oh yes but he
saw him out of the fridge he saw him at the store and he was like what the fuck are these and i'm
like you've never had this i was like these were like money on the playground that's like the um
it's like our uh what's the gay time thing in australia golden gay time yeah that's our golden
gay time except it has a far less hilarious name you go back to josh man tonight and you tell him
to stream the australian trying american they literally said the exact same thing
because because we bought oatmeal cream pies that's a funny name that's good and then uh
the the nutter bars what are they also good um and so it was like Three like Childhood American snacks That are innuendos That are innuendos
And shaped like
Balls and buttholes
And uh
It shoots in letters
But it's balls and buttholes
Sorry I'm just
I'm just distracting myself
Holy shit
Sorry so many good ideas
But yeah
He tried them
We both
We both just
Ate like
Junk food
On the way home
And we just felt like
Shit And then just watched Five videos for an hour It was really great You're living the life dude just ate like junk food on the way home and we just felt like shit and
then just watch five
videos for an hour it was
really great you're
living a life dude yeah
and then you really are
shat in the garbage can
and it's still there when
Ludwig took the PS5 back
I was like Joshy I got
this and I went on eBay
and I went for where you
can like pick it up and I
got a PS5 that day you
can do pick it up on
eBay yeah yeah and I was
like fucking right Josh like this is the life we5 that day you can do pick it up on ebay yeah yeah and i was like fucking right
josh like this is the life we live bitch like we can do whatever we want bro we can leave the trash
out for three weeks we lost the ps5 we got another one and then i took the i got my save data from
his and then i uploaded the consciousness you can get your save data between two consoles you can
that's right wow that's a great feature. It is. If only Nintendo had that.
It's like Soma, that one game.
It's like Soma, that one game.
Ah, you know how to get me.
Bro, you've got to stop being mad
about not having your Switch save data.
You beat like one Goblin Camp in Breath of the Wild.
That was all you did.
That is actually true.
Don't belittle me.
I'm done with this.
It actually...
It's true, though.
Okay, this is really hard. I'm watching a lot of the me. I'm done with this. It actually It's true though. Okay. This is really hard.
I'm watching a lot of the streams. I only like whoever
speaks last.
I'm realizing. Ronald had a great point just now. Yeah.
I think I'm on level two. Oh okay.
The horse of truth.
How do you feel about me now?
I'm kind of on his side. So wherever he's at.
What was I going to say about
Dreamhack also as well?
You going to say something about me?
Were you going to talk about how Mewtwo king lost to svop and had an existential crisis on the timeline that will happen when i was like i'm impressed he got third yeah same i was impressed
he got there i was like damn he beat some decent players he had set the tv that he was practicing
on to 99 stocks and then he would ask random people walking by if they wanted
to play and then it was set to random
stages but the only stage selected in
random was FD and then he would just
fucking run them down like a
dog. Yeah.
I heard he
broke his glasses and asked
attendees if he could try their glasses
on until he found a pair where he could
see properly until
someone else repaired his glasses for him that's crazy that's so tight he needs yingling and it's
and it's tough you know this is even better now that he's like not an active top player no that's
why it's funny because he i i think that's why mutaking is so funny because he's living life
like it's 2007 still.
Yeah.
And he's just.
It doesn't matter what he places.
He's still Mew2King.
Yeah.
No, that's why.
I mean, that's really funny.
Well, the candle's got to run out eventually.
I think it's the idea.
I think it's the idea that the behavior is unchanging because presumably you can like
get away with acting like that for a long time because you are
the pinnacle of the game and you're so famous within that community but like the behavior and
like the time the time frame has changed so it's just funny to see him show up as if like like a
time capsule he's like he's like going in your backyard to dig something up and it's just like
damn it's it's just the way it was jordan showed up to the YMCA and he's like, let me take a free throw
and they would be like,
all right,
you can do it.
Do you think Slippy
has added more people
to the game
than the documentary
at this point?
Yes and no.
Good question.
What a dumbass answer.
I think the documentary,
it's actually 50-50
between yes and no for me.
Pick one.
Documentary,
documentary,
add more people
who know about it. More viewers. Slippy. Add more players. S Documentary. Add more people who know about it.
More viewers.
Slippy.
Add more players.
Add more people who actually played.
That's wise.
That's my...
See, Aiden's wise.
Viewers.
Viewers probably more valuable.
Well, yeah.
Long run, yeah.
You need both.
Creating the fandom around the game.
Like the documentary is the reason that people are still watching now.
I think if Evo is a thousand entrance versus 3,000, but has triple the viewers, it's better for the game like the documentary is the reason that people are still watching now i think if i think of evo is a thousand entrance verse three thousand but has triple the viewers
it's better for the game bro i was fucking watching uh i was watching zane versus hbox at
apex um this weekend and some guy in the chat it's like 30k people in the chat and some guy
he's like zane is losing in the set he wins the the set, by the way. Spoilers. And this guy was just like, Zayn was never good.
And like, I don't know when, what age I will hit.
Pushing down the urge.
Pushing down the urge.
Like, what age am I going to, is that not going to affect me anymore?
Sorry if I scared you.
Because I was like, what the fuck?
You know, like.
What a weird thing.
It's just like, it's insane to say that.
It's their human right.
They get to talk shit.
It's not.
And they don't have human rights. That's the thing. People who say things like that. It's their human right. It's not. And they don't have human rights.
That's the thing.
People who say things like that.
Because you're part of the problem too.
Because you'll read Livestream Fail, which is the same people talking with the same level
of confidence, but also the same level of confidence.
But he also resents those people.
He resents those people.
No, but then he also takes their opinions and states them as a counter.
But it was ambiguous.
I'm not just saying in this spot, I'm saying you do this often.
You read it like the Sunday paper.
And the issue with that is you're taking those opinions and make, you're forming ideas off
of them.
I am doing that.
Yeah.
So this guy's opinion is as valid.
But he's literally watching Zayn who hasn't lost to someone in the fucking bottom, the
top 10 in like 7,000 years.
You know what's funny four someone probably read the message
It was like yeah, don't forget about right. That's crazy. It's the same thing you do
No, I'm not this you just feel more informed about this
So you're mad no because the shit on LSF is like about who likes who and such and such this is about raw data
It's saying hasn't lost. He just isn't that
bad at the game.
There's like a
grain of a good take in here.
Yes! I got it!
Don't give it to him. You don't have to find the grain for it.
Let him find the thing telling him that is more valuable.
I got the grain!
I want to walk him back.
What I'm saying,
what the grain of the good take is that there is just a demonstrable
like proof that what this guy is saying is wrong but on the other one it's like ludwig scam wig
and it's like that's up to interpretation no it's not because i did both but either way i think
that's also people's right let them talk shit it was just i was more reflecting on the idea that i
it made me mad and i added that person in in chat in VGBC where I'm nobody.
And I can't ban people or whatever.
And I was like, do you really think that?
I didn't, I wasn't, I didn't flame him.
I said, do you really think that?
And then the person responded and it was like, yes.
And I'm like.
They are you.
I don't know what to say.
It doesn't make sense to me.
Anyway, I had a crisis.
That's how it goes.
I hate this shit.
It's like, if you went into someone's chat and you were like, and I think, insert, one
of Ludwig's random streamer friends he knows is a pedophile.
Someone's like, do you really think that?
And you're like, yes.
It's just the same situation.
That's really funny.
It is the same.
I have a great guest For this pod
That we should bring on
And I want you guys to take
Matt Thomas
Who is Matt?
Oh he's the chess boxing champion
He was the chess boxing champion
He was a delight
Oh fuck
Hold on
Sorry sorry sorry
I literally have to fucking
I have a thing
And you guys
Have to fucking handle this
Because
Handle what?
I have to
The thing is coming
You're being weird
To the house
Can you stay three minutes? Dude we only have a few minutes left Wait are we because the thing is coming. You're being weird. To the house.
Can you stay three minutes?
Dude, we only have a few minutes left.
Wait, do we pause?
We're at like 90.
Zipper, do we pause and just wait?
Wait, are you coming back?
Uh, no.
What do you mean just finish up?
You would be so mad if this was happening the other way. You're being a bad lover.
I've never done this before.
I've never done this.
You're being a bad lover.
You don't just say just clean yourself up. You are a bad lover You don't just say just clean yourself up
You are a bad lover
You'll never fuck
Okay
Am I crazy? Would he not be mad as fuck
He would be so mad if we did this
Why is your underwear faded?
You see that? It's ancient underwear
The text is all like grayed out
You're climbing out slow man
So is he...
Is this guy...
He seemed funny.
He seemed like a nice guy.
So we replace him with Matt Thomas.
We replace him with Matt Thomas.
It's the fuck slime episode.
Matt Thomas has hair.
He is strong.
Was he cool?
He was so...
He was great.
And Chad was like asking the whole time.
They were like,
get Matt Thomas on the yard.
I saw your weak ass punch you through.
Dude.
What the fuck was that?
It's hard.
Are you weak?
To punch someone?
Bro, it's hard to punch someone.
Could I defeat you in combat?
No, I don't think you can throw a good punch either.
I punched Atriok while we were in New Zealand.
And did it hurt him?
No.
My knuckles cracked.
Do you think you could throw a good punch?
I throw a mean punch.
We'll have him come here and we'll throw mean punches.
I'm down.
You think you'd throw a good punch because of the punch machine?
No.
I just think I've tried punching a lot.
You say that like that's ludicrous,
but that seems like a decent thing to judge
a punch machine. I did punch the punch machine
like a hundred times. You think a punching bag would
help you punch well, and that's why you're dumb.
I think I have decent punch form. A punch bag wouldn't
help. The thing is, it's more about
cardio than strength. That's not true.
Not with punch form. Not for punching.
It is, though. Your ability to box for boxing,
not for punching.
I know that,
because I'm the most
cardiest out of us.
You also aren't.
You say that because of high school,
but you're fucking 30.
I'll beat you on the streets.
Are we just fucking ending?
Yeah, I guess so.
Are we at 90?
There's another episode.
Did he leave before 90?
We're at 90.
We're at 90.
So we're fine.
There's another episode of The Yard.
Tune in to the Patreon,
where maybe he'll be back
maybe he'll be back either way
uh thanks for watching the yard
everybody uh i'm gonna go i'm gonna
i'm feeling my water i'm going
bye
oh fucked up your chair
dummy dumb dumb big old nice
idiot thick ass