The Yard - Ep. 83 - We met Japan’s BIGGEST YouTubers (ft. Trash Taste)
Episode Date: February 15, 2023This week, the boys are with the Trash Taste podcast in Japan! The boys talk about their time in Japan so far, what's behind the veil in the markets and how Aiden got into trouble on Twitter for talki...ng about Japan.
Transcript
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Test, test, one, two, alright man.
Hello, hello, hello. One, two, three, one, two, three.
Ichi Nisan.
Right? Yes.
Oh, that kills.
Yes. That kills. It doesn't kill, it's just showing my Nihongo? Yes. Oh, that kills.
Yes.
It doesn't kill.
It's just showing my Nihongo Jozu.
What is that?
Nihongo Jozu?
My Nihongo Jozu.
What the hell was that?
What do you mean, what was that?
I've only heard you say Bitches Doko Desu ka.
No, I got a new one.
I got a new one.
All right.
Mungo Mungo.
What?
What does it mean?
Translate.
Translate. Mungo Mungo. What is he saying? Yeahreadsling. Treadsling. I don't know. Treadsling.
Mungo mungo.
What is he saying?
Yeah, yeah, he just said.
Okay.
Okay, I was like, I'm gonna ask the more fluent dude.
I'm like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The thing that you can eat.
Oh wait, what?
No, no, no, he's not even trying to say it.
I know what he's trying to say.
I know what he's trying to say.
What am I saying?
What do you think you're saying?
Well, yeah, it's the thing. What were you saying? It's that. It's whatever he said. What do you think he's saying? What were you saying?
It's that.
It's whatever he said.
What did you think it was?
I went to Golden Guy and I got drunk and an old, old Japanese guy said he was a beggar
for his job and he asked me to buy him drinks because I'm a rich YouTuber, so I did.
And then in exchange, he taught me a Japanese phrase.
Okay.
Mungo mungo.
Oh, did you go back to Golden Guy?
Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. I was like did you go back to Golden Guy? Yeah, yeah, I did.
I was like, I don't remember this happening. No, yeah, I went back.
I went back. What did
he tell you that it meant? Level three
sorry. Wow.
Top
clearance. Yeah, level three.
Level three. Well, here's
my theory. Okay.
Gomen asai means sorry.
Yes. Mongo is a pig Latin version of gomen.
Mongo gomen, right?
Anyway, Nihongojozu.
You're saying a very close word to something that probably people would laugh at if they
heard in Japanese.
I don't even know what he's trying to do.
Mingle mingle.
You couldn't even remember it correctly.
That's like a slang or, I mean, it's like a phrase.
I mean, it's trying to do. Mingo, mingo. You couldn't even remember it correctly.
That's like a slang.
I mean, it's like a phrase.
I mean, it's like,
gomen nasai.
Gomen, mingo, mingo.
Oh!
You didn't even pronounce it correctly.
You didn't even pronounce it all correctly.
Yeah, I don't pronounce shit correct here, Connor,
because I don't speak Japanese.
That's fine.
Do you try?
Do you fucking try?
I don't like trying, but I do. I don't think you do. I do, but it's hard. Do you try? Do you fucking try?
I don't like trying, but I do.
I don't think you do.
I do, but it's hard.
I don't like trying. Because you walked into this studio right here in front of God and all of our friends,
and you said, mooshy moo.
That's because I was in a safe space garden.
Mooshy moo.
Who said that?
It's a lie.
It's a safe space to practice.
Just be normal.
When I go to the 7-Eleven, I walk up,
and then they say words to me, and I go, no.
Because I'm assuming they're asking if I want a bag.
And then I say,
arigatou gozaimasu.
And then I walk my white ass out.
I saw a tweet, and now it makes so much more sense.
Somebody tweeted out, and I thought it was like,
I was like, huh?
Said Japan is Wakanda for white people.
I feel like you're making,
now I'm starting to get it.
How many phrases did you come in armed with now?
What did you know coming in here?
Was it like,
Dario Gatto, Bitches Doko Desu.
Yeah, I did come into those two.
All right.
Okay.
Sumimasen.
I'd never seen Ludwig
be like,
even like 10% flustered,
but it just,
you in Japan,
you were so much more flustered
and so much more conscious.
It's stressful.
The only time I'm not stressful
is when I'm getting drunk.
That's the only time
where Japanese people.
Yeah,
I know.
And that's why I've drank
every single night and my body is breaking people. Yeah. I know, and that's why I've drank every single night.
Yeah.
And my body is breaking down.
Yeah.
He drank all night and then we ate half the- all the McDonald's menu together.
Yeah.
Just a couple hours ago.
How does it compare to the American McDonald's menu?
Just like slightly better.
Yeah, it's like a little bit.
It's like, okay.
Definitely not worth it.
No.
No.
No, it's still shitty McDonald's.
Hey guys, if you think it's-
It's a little better than American. It's a little better.
Yeah, but like a little.
Like you're still assigning I will be a piece of shit today.
I'm going to go to McDonald's.
He was out, bro.
We literally, we got done with the stream.
We just like have 1,500 calories of McDonald's in our belly.
And then we just like sat on his bed on our phones silent for an hour.
It's not even kidding.
That's literally what we did.
I watched an isekai on TikTok.
Oh, my God.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Hold up for a second.
You're going to need to expand on this, man.
This is so insane.
TikTok is actually revolutionary.
Right.
So you know how there's clips of shows on TikTok?
Yeah.
It was like, you know that one hunter hunter song it's like
it's like uh the predator one yeah it's an epic one the meme one yeah yeah when someone gets
caught with a deez nuts joke so it's that song and then it's a two minute clip of uh like i got
reincarnated as the strongest mage in the world it's You're gonna need to narrow it fucking down, man. That's literally every, that's literally every isekai.
Are you fucking with me?
No, no, no.
It wasn't good, but what happened is that they uploaded
that two minute clip with that little meme
to get you hooked into the show,
and then it's the first episode distilled into two minutes,
and then if you keep watching it,
it says auto-playing next episode,
because it's a part of a playlist, and they have one two minute edit like that for every single episode in the
season bro and so i just went through the season in like half an hour yeah this is this is like
the new age uh watch naruto sub one out of three on youtube back in the day yeah dude do you remember
this yeah yeah 100 100 yeah it'd be like it'd be like seven minutes it'd be like flipped yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah. Yeah.
It's just ultra compressed.
And I was mad at it.
I'm like, why watch that in general?
And he's like, so I don't have to watch all of the show.
It's like, well, why watch it at all?
Yeah, you don't have to watch the show.
No, no, no.
Because I want to be a piece of shit and scroll through TikTok.
And look, if you watch an isekai, you are wasting your life.
No offense.
Hey, can we?
I can attest, actually.
Isekai.
Isekai.
Means?
Wow.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not a meme.
Okay.
Mihono Gojozu, isekai.
Let him explain.
He's the expert.
Yeah, you are the expert.
Actually, I want you to explain.
Okay.
All right.
Great.
Let me see how much you understand.
Yeah, I can handle this.
I can handle this.
Isekai is an anime genre that started with Sword Art Online,
where you get teleported to a universe that is not your own,
oftentimes as like a super strong, powerful,
you get every single bitch in the world,
you got a harem, you're ripped,
and then you go back to your real life sometimes and it sucks.
Is Harry Potter in Isekai?
Kind of. No, no. Isekai? Kind of.
No, no, we are not getting into this.
I can't believe you bring this up, man.
I can't believe you bring Harry Potter into this.
I feel like it's like a modern version of it.
Harry Potter is in the same world.
It's all the same thing.
Isekai is way sadder than Harry Potter,
I'll be honest.
Shot of the Lion is not the first Isekai.
What is the first Isekai?
There's been a lot before it.
I mean, go off.
I mean, it's dependent.
Like, the genre is so wide that you can call-
You can't even pick your own fights here.
This is his dog.
I'm out of this.
I do not watch these shows.
Sword Art Land was like the first anime
that popularized the genre.
But I mean, you could call Alice in Wonderland an Isekai,
right, because they get transported to another world.
Or it's basically whenever you get transported
or reborn to another world, universe, whatever.
The genre definition is kind of like very broad.
But now in anime, it's just a kind of genre
for a lot of like trashy, very cheap anime.
Power fantasies.
Power fantasies.
I'm wondering if there's an American kind of equivalent
to Isekai.
Narnia.
No, Narnia.
Narnia, yeah.
That's a good example.
Except they're not powerful when they go.
They're just fucking kids. Like Narnia, but if it was marketed towards adults.
Narnia, but they go, and then all the snow witches want to fuck them.
So that's part of the power fantasy is sexually irresistible for these shows?
Yeah.
Okay.
Because you know weebs ain't getting as many girls as this main character's all, man.
Right, and they're like, I can be in the Sword Art Online world, and then I can bust.
You could bust.
I could bust all day.
I took a picture with Asuna in a wedding dress, and she was beautiful.
Welcome back to the Yard, episode...
One hundred.
Eighty-four?
It's our hundredth episode.
Eighty-two.
Well, you guys have an intro, and it's been...
Otherwise known as CN in Spanish.
You know, technically you have to have an intro to get nominated for an award for podcasts.
I heard about this, yeah.
What?
Yeah, you have to have an intro.
None of us got nominated for any award.
Do you guys not have one?
They don't do intros.
You just get right into it.
No, we do do intros.
We do intros.
Not scripted, but we say,
hello, welcome to Trash Taste.
But no, we're not on Trash Taste right now.
That's so weird.
Why would that be a requirement?
I don't know.
I just heard about it once in a Rooster Teeth podcast,
and now I spread that information.
Yeah.
It could be wrong.
I spread a lot of misinformation.
That sounds like a rumor, you know.
Some people watch your podcast,
and they're like, I just don't know what it is.
If only there was something to tell me what it is.
There's 40 episodes in, and they're like,
fuck, I wish I knew what I was watching.
This would be so cool.
Who are these guys?
It's got to be a scripted audio book.
This is cool.
You guys got a Japanese food hole on your table.
That's not a food hole.
So you know, this is a carry over from,
cause we had a problem where we couldn't find
just a square table.
Yeah.
And they don't have those.
So as you can tell, this is,
there's just two desks that we've just put together.
This is the beds in our hotel.
We're staying at a hotel.
And it's like, oh, you don't want any food?
I'm not hungry either, I guess.
That's for the sponsor.
And it's two beds.
And it was like, we originally go in there like,
this is the most big bed I've ever seen.
It's actually two connected together secretly.
And I was like, is this common?
Because it feels like shit in the middle.
Do not sleep in the middle.
Yeah, it's very common.
In Japan, it's very rare that hotels will have double beds.
Yeah.
They're always too single.
Even if you're a couple here in Japan,
people want to separate the beds.
I don't know why.
We know why.
Yeah, we know why.
Because nobody has sex.
Nobody's intimate.
Nobody's fucking?
Nobody's fucking.
No, no, no.
Okay, then why am I walking down the streets of Akihabara
and they got signs for fucking everywhere?
Well, it's not double beds.
You're conflating.
That's only in one of those shit little hot tub pools.
Yeah.
Okay.
We once went on a camping trip
and there was this couple that went there on this camping trip.
They apparently used all their weekend
just for this one camping trip.
And they sat on two opposite sides of the camp,
just not interacting with each other at all.
And then they go back and they're like,
we had a great time.
We got more close to you.
We got a lot closer.
Wow.
Well, anyway, we are on the Trash Taste set,
but this is the yard, episode 82.
We're with Garnt and Connor.
No, Joey, because he could not make it.
And we will be cycling in the other yard guys occasionally so if that happens
don't freak out if you hear a different voice that is we just swapped but we
need to intro every time someone else knows we'll just swap it without
introing and we have Aiden and Nick in a cage over there they're in a cage yeah
and we'll release them actually it's hanging it's a go-go dancer cage and
they're just yeah yeah like in Star No, they're actually, it's hanging. It's a go-go dancer cage. And they're just, they're going to be so sweaty.
Yeah, like in Star Wars, and they're just doing sexy dances.
Yeah.
And you're looking good.
You look good.
You look good.
You look real hot.
Oh, wow.
He's taking off.
Wow.
He's taking off his shirt.
I got the cameras pointing at that.
Are you guys, like, in Japan so far?
I am.
Yeah?
But I have beef with you.
Why beef with me specifically?
I got beef with you.
Why? I got have beef with you. Reserved. Why beef with me specifically? I got beef with you. Why?
I got a problem with you.
I also have beef with you because I'm with him, so I unfortunately have beef with you.
It's nice to see you again.
It is nice to see you again.
I have so much beef with you, though.
So shut the fuck up.
Is it because I'm too helpful and I've been helping you?
You've been actually a massive help.
You've guided me around to amazing spots.
You've hooked me up in ways that I could only bow
like slime does at a 7-Eleven when he
gets a coffee in the morning. I hate this meme.
It's not a meme.
But you,
when we went to Akihabara yesterday,
said you have to go to a specific spot
called the
Culture Zone. Yeah.
That's what I call my downstairs.
What the fuck was that about because we walk into that place and we're walking
around and it's a lot of figures and then we see this aisle with curtains and we're like dude that's
gonna be so sick they have a cool secret section and we walk in and connor i shit you not i saw a
sea of children tom brady would love to kiss naked.
Just naked.
What is that?
Well, okay, so there are scarcely places in Akihabara that have, I want to say, everything that encapsulates the area.
And that building has a little bit of everything for everyone.
Some of the little bit for everyone.
They even covered EDP 445.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
That's the other everyone.
Often, we are too productive.
Okay.
Right, yeah.
Everyone.
No, I obviously don't partake in those sections, but-
Why are you saying it like you do secretly?
I thought that maybe, you know, as a tourist,
you might want to see the kind of weird stuff that goes on.
I ran into, like, what I can only imagine
is a Japanese high schooler there, and we locked eyes.
He should have been in there.
And I was like, bro, you got to stop coming here.
You're trying to shake and like,
please just go live a normal life.
I got to ask, how long did you spend in there?
The self-report.
The self-report.
Here we go, here we go. So I won't leak who, but somebody in the group. So we're in there for Here we go.
So I won't leak who, but somebody in the group. So we're in there for like a couple minutes and we're all
in there. We're laughing. We're like, this is ridiculous.
And then someone finds something crazy. We're like, that's ridiculous.
And like the way porn works
is that they blur the nipples in the vagina.
But buttholes are fair game.
So some are just like wide open buttholes
with just cum falling out like a
waterfall.
And I'm like, that's a crazy thing.
I was not with them, by the way.
I don't have beef with you.
I think you're great.
And you're weird.
Oh.
And so somebody from our group, in the absurdity of it, they're like, oh, because it's the craziest one.
They take a picture of it.
And I'm like, that's a bad idea.
You are just taking pictures of child porn.
That is just... Yeah, I would get it off your phone.
You've got to get that off your phone.
It specifies drawn.
Oh, it is drawn.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, of course.
It is drawn.
Which is an anime store.
Yes.
It has everything in anime.
So they had a curtain in that curtain section that I didn't dare go in.
So to translate for everyone who's not knowledgeable about Japanese and anime culture,
they went to the doujinshi section, which is the part where you get a lot of fan drawn
like books and art.
Yeah, I thought doujinshi was chill because I used to like jerk off to Naruto doujinshi
because it would be that one lady.
Wait, wait, wait, don't say that.
What's up?
You just say it, right? Like that's bad to say. No be that one lady. What's up? Don't say that.
What's up?
You just said, right?
Like that's bad to say.
No, that's chill, that's chill, right?
Naruto Doujinshi's chill?
I wouldn't personally, but.
He hasn't even seen Naruto, so he has no horse in this race.
He got no skin in the game, bro.
Okay, so I think, so maybe doujins back then
were more chill, but I think definitely
over the past five, 10 years,
they've gotten progressively more intense.
It doesn't have to be like child looking characters.
It could just be adults, right?
Well, most of it's adults,
but unfortunately there's a lot of child stuff.
Yeah, unfortunately a lot of that is centered in Akihabara.
Don't ask me why.
I mean, we all know why, but don't ask me why.
You kind of realize when you're in Japan long enough,
you're like, so what's up with all that kids stuff?
Yeah.
You're like, wait a minute.
It's weird.
Yeah, it's very odd.
And a lot of people online like to be like,
it's just a different culture.
You don't get it.
It's like, oh.
It's still OK to think it's weird.
No, no, 100%.
100%.
It is weird.
Because the main question is, who does this appeal to?
And when you find out that answer,
you're like, oh, this is weird.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's never like a good,
there can't be a good answer to that.
No, and like you went to, I guess,
like you went to like the culture zone,
which is like Connor said.
Literally called the culture zone.
The culture zone.
Officer, I'm not, I'm just cultured, okay?
Officer, it was in the culture zone actually.
Culture falling out of my pockets, culture all over.
But I mean, there are some stores
that are literally like seven stories high.
Oh, I should take them to the porn store.
Yeah, the porn store, literally seven stories high.
You saw that like, you know, like that one guarded section?
Imagine that and extrapolate that to like seven stories.
And yeah, it's just,
if you thought some of the things you found out
and they were like messed up,
there are some, you haven't even seen like the sex toy.
So you know there's, I did a video
where we bought each other a $500 box, right?
And I tried to get him as much messed up stuff
that you could show on YouTube.
And there's this one store where they sell
all the types of different sprays.
And I got you like the only ones that you could show,
which is like two out of like 30.
Where it was like armpit of an office worker.
But it gets progressively a lot worse.
Get me in the lab with the scientist who's like,
all right, this is an office worker sweat
versus like Uber driver.
You know the meme of the template of the dude
looking at the sign like, ah yes, finally,
I perfected the same thing.
But that was in the store and that was in the section that was the tame section.
There is more often than not worse sections.
What would the worst scent be?
I've, okay, okay.
I have actually been there because my wife has,
let's say reviewed a lot of the scents.
She's the degenerate queen.
She's the degenerate queen.
I would say the worst scent I have ever smelled
is probably foot fungus. They's the degenerate queen. I would say the worst scent I have ever smelled is probably foot fungus.
They made a foot fungus scent.
And that's like a fetish.
And that's like a cheesy feet smell.
Yeah.
And they somehow recreated this in the lab
and it's literally just like the Walter White meme
of just like creating the worst smell humanly possible.
It is nasty.
They are pretty welcoming to fetishes
and willing to cater to them here,
which is a pretty intense,
which kind of goes against a lot of things.
Don't sleep on the same side of a campground.
Yeah.
That's an interesting juxtaposition, I guess.
I don't know.
It's weird.
I have 2000 calories McDonald's in me,
so anything you say, it's cool, man.
What does that mean?
What I'm saying, I might as well
be drunk right now. Officer, I wasn't
in the culture zone. I just didn't know what was happening.
Officer, I had so much
McDonald's, I don't even know where I am, bro.
What?
Yeah, I said what I said, bro.
I had a fuck-up.
I had a culture difference fuck up.
So like most of, I think...
Like actual culture or not?
No, God, no.
It was porn.
No, no.
I think most of the culture is very easy to catch on
because everybody follows
a lot of the rules,
the unwritten rules of like,
okay, you walk on the left side of the street,
escalators, you stand on the left,
walk on the right.
All that I'm kind of picking up on.
And that's easy enough.
But the one thing I wasn't prepared for
is I have a coffee shop I've been going to.
And I like this coffee shop
because the lady who works there speaks English.
English Jozu.
And so I went in there and I was so nervous
and I was like, espresso.
And she's like-
Why are you saying it like Italian?
Espresso.
No, how do you say it?
You say it.
All right, espresso.
No, no, no.
Archie, play it back.
Archie, play it back.
He put an extra vowel in front of the vowel.
Okay, how would you say cappuccino?
How would you say that?
You want a cappuccino?
Cappuccino.
That's pretty, that's not bad, yeah.
Kiku. Kiku. Kiku?
Kiku?
Isn't that the one that means this?
No.
No, no.
Fuck!
You've been basically saying listen.
Cappuccino.
Cappuccino.
Cappuccino.
Cappuccino.
Cappuccino.
Why'd you go Italian?
Yeah.
Do you think you're in Italy?
Is that what's been going on?
I've been trying to get a Vespa.
So I'm at this coffee place, and I go there every day.
And I had a really cute interaction one of the days
where the daughter of the woman who works there
was talking to her mom.
And they were like, oh, we just went to LA.
I was like, cool, where'd you go?
She was like, Disneyland.
I was like, Disneyland?
That's sick.
My girlfriend used to work there.
She was a princess.
And then the mom told her daughter,
and she was like, ah.
And she looked at me, and she was like, that makes you a prince her daughter and she was like and she looked at me and she's like that makes you a prince and then she came up and
she gave me a little gift of cookies it was very sweet very sweet yeah and then i go in the next
day uh and we have like a report at this point and and at the end i've just finished my coffee
had a great chat i'm about to leave she goes do you like snacks and i go no i hate snacks bro i
get super fat i don't eat snacks.
And then she just looks really sad, and she goes,
I got you these snacks.
I was like, why do you have gifts on deck for me?
Why do you think she was asking you that?
I thought it was like conversation.
This is a little kid?
She was obviously going to give you something. No, this is like the woman who owns it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
She probably thinks she went home and stomped that cookie as well.
Yeah.
She gave it to me. I, yeah, yeah. Wow. She probably thinks she went home and stomped that cookie as well. Yeah. She gave it to me.
I was like,
but these snacks.
Bro, thank God.
I bet she was like
up or not being like,
I'm going to give him the snacks
and he's going to love it, man.
He's going to love it.
She went out of her way
to think about you.
That is crazy.
I feel like a piece of shit.
Do I get gifts back?
You can do that.
What do you give
like a 40-year-old
coffee barista?
Liquor.
Do you actually want to get her like a present?
Should I?
No, of course you don't.
She keeps giving me shit.
She's just being friendly.
Okay.
In Japan, I'm sure you noticed this, right?
There's a lot of local chains,
sorry, local cafes or bars.
They just build up rapport
and expecting you to come back a lot.
Oh, so it's for your business.
Yeah, like you have your spot.
So this is happening to you guys?
Yeah, I have my spot.
The way you just said,
oh, it's just for business.
It's not me.
It's not me, right?
It's nice to see, like,
I imagine if you're a business owner,
you see the same company.
I thought it was like my company.
So American, you're like,
to make money.
Well, okay, you know me
because when we hung out in LA,
if I go to a place,
I like tipping. Oh, tipping, yeah, yeah. What were you going in LA, if I go to a place, I like tipping.
Oh, tipping, yeah.
I was going to say, he has a thing where it's like, I know
a spot, I know a guy, and it's like
a fucking chain.
And it's called Panera.
Yeah, exactly.
I did find a spot here. Y'all heard of Coco Curry?
What happened in LA?
Ichiran Ramen.
So I like tipping a lot, but you can't doiran Ramen. Oh my God. Yo. All right, I can go.
So I like tipping a lot, but you can't do it here.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't.
Yeah, here it's like they don't try for the tips.
They try to get you like a regular customer.
So like a lot of people in Japan,
they don't like to try new things a lot of the times.
They like the comfort of coming back to the place
and seeing a familiar face, you know?
You can buy gifts though.
You can, okay.
And when we went out to Golden Guy, I was like,
hey, if you want a tipper, you have to buy her a drink.
Right.
Which is kind of sucks,
because instead of getting just a monetary amount
that you can spend anywhere universally,
it's like, all right, I just have to get liver cancer.
Yeah.
You have to damage yourself.
Yeah, it's like the loophole.
You can't tip them with money,
but you can buy them gifts, right?
Which they can exchange for money.
And often or not, you know,
because in Japan, right,
it's like you don't know what the person likes, you know?
Maybe they like doujinshi, which you could get them.
Risky move.
I get like 10 of them.
Most of the time people just get like fruit
or famous snacks from a local area.
Have you noticed how expensive fruit is here?
Yeah.
Fruit's a big one.
Why?
Why don't they mass produce it with cheaper labor in foreign countries?
Excuse me, it's an artisan culture actually, the fruit.
You watch a video about Tanaka
who massages the melon every night before bed.
That's why it's worth.
I literally saw this video where-
I'm being condescending, but what's not is,
there's so much like extra work.
That actually happens though.
You guys being so jaded, you see shit like that
and you're like, fuck sake, come on.
I'm a hater.
I'm a hater on it too.
I mean, it's a fucking melon.
I saw this one video of this melon farmer
who obviously loves his craft,
but he put newspaper wrappings around this melon
so that the cracking on the melon was aesthetic.
And I'm like, I'm sorry.
I don't give a shit about the cracking of the melon.
Just make sure it tastes good.
Well, it was the $40 strawberries you guys had.
And they were, and immediately you asked,
were they worth it?
And they were like, no.
It's like, it's like the cheap,
because everyone is like,
everyone knows how expensive fruit is, right?
So if you don't want to get someone,
you just get them fruit.
Cause it's like, all right, you have to, you know,
it's fruit, you probably like it.
And it shows that like, I thought about something, but yeah.
I think when you live here for a while,
you do become jaded to this kind of stuff.
Because you're kind of like, well, you know,
I just wanted an apple.
Like, I just wanted an apple.
I didn't want the only option to be a dude with a story.
I get that that's impressive and that's cool.
And it's nice that people are willing to go through that.
But also, I just want the fruit.
I have a hypothetical for you guys.
As residents of Japan, I want to run through a scenario. I'm on the fruit. I have a hypothetical for you guys. As residents of Japan,
I want to run through a scenario.
I'm on a train.
I am a foreigner.
There's already like 15 taboos.
I'm wearing an all-white overalls suit
because I'm a painter.
That's cool, right?
I think that's cool.
That's cool.
Why would you...
Do you think it's cool?
That he's painting.
Do you think it's cool?
You're painting?
You're painting while you're wearing white overalls. I guess like, do you respect blue's cool? That he's painting. Do you think it's cool? Your painting? Your painting where you're wearing white overalls.
I guess like,
do you respect blue collar workers?
That's hurtful.
I mean,
I don't mind what your occupation is,
man.
As long as you're chill.
It's giving nepo,
baby.
Not a warm atmosphere.
Okay.
But I'm on the train.
I have,
I shit my pants.
Okay.
What?
I shit all over myself.
Is this a hypothetical?
This is absolutely hypothetical.
I need help.
And I'm just like, and I'm shitting my pants.
What happens on that crowded train?
Do people try to help me?
Absolutely not.
No.
People will call someone.
No, they won't, they won't.
What happens?
Wait, wait, wait, what do you think happens in America?
I mean, if I'm like, help me, I've shit my pants.
They don't help you.
You'll be on TikTok within an hour
and you'll be going viral.
I genuinely think someone on the light rail
in Los Angeles would be like, come on up, soldier.
No, no.
They wouldn't.
What do you think they'd do?
They'd slowly take off your straps and they'd be like, let me see that ass.
Let me get in there.
They'd help you and then they'd pull out the tablet and be like,
how much are you going to tip?
Oh, okay.
Turn it around.
But what happens in that scenario?
People will just do nothing.
Like, will they try to ignore it?
Probably as much as possible.
100%.
Unless, it's rare to get a Japanese Karen or something.
If someone sticks out here,
people just try to ignore that person as much as possible,
even if that person is in your face. And then they'll just complain about it afterwards.
You tell me about the phrase.
What phrase?
A nail that sticks out is the one that's first struck.
Yeah, yeah.
The nail that sticks out is the first one
that's struck back in.
Other countries have this as well.
I think Australia has one that's like the poppy that grows too
tall, gets cut or something.
Tall poppy syndrome.
And that allows you to roast your friends
for being successful.
Yeah, well.
What are you pointing at me?
You're not Australian. This is not relevant to successful. Yeah, well. Why are you pointing at me?
You're not Australian.
This is not relevant to you.
Oh, I'm not, am I?
Dude, the episode you came on and did with us,
people were mad that I did such bad accents.
It was fucking awful.
It was terrible.
Wait, wait, I have an accent.
I have an accent.
No, no, no.
Let's hear it.
Let's hear it.
No, I learned my lesson.
Hey, don't worry.
Just bow afterwards and it'll work.
That video got a million views, so you did something right.
It did.
The episode with you on it
is our first million view episode.
Oh, it's shit, really?
Yeah.
So pony up again, pony up again, guys.
Come on, cough it up.
I made the yacht.
You can say that.
I don't know.
You can say that now.
Well, now you're filming in the Trash Taste studio,
so eventually it will just be me, Joey, and Connor,
and we'll just take over your channel.
And then the transformation will be complete.
You're like, I like this new set.
You replace us all except Aiden, who's just still there.
He's like, yeah. I like that.
I haven't watched anime.
At all.
Just like Joey.
Yeah, just like all, just like you.
I've watched a little bit.
You're getting back into it? A little bit. Yeah, but so I, just like you. I watched a little bit. You're getting back into it?
A little bit.
Yeah, but so I've seen some Karens on trains,
but normally everyone just does their best to ignore it.
Yeah.
How long have you guys lived here?
Three years.
Yeah, kind of three and a half years now.
That's it?
Coming on four years.
That's it, what do you mean that's it?
That's a long time.
It's crazy to see people online that like,
dude, I'm just gonna like,
study for like two, three weeks,
and I'll be comfortable.
And it's like, man, I was here for eight months, study for like two, three weeks and I'll be comfortable in Japan.
It's like, man, I was here for eight months
until I felt like I could order a coffee
without shitting myself.
You know, it's super stressful to do any activity here
with the exception of drinking alcohol.
That's it.
Well, that is one thing that everyone does here.
And also you probably realize
that it's really fucking hard to stay at like a,
you know, there's this conception
that Japan is really easy to stay healthy. It's so fucking hard to stay at like a, there's this conception that Japan is really easy to stay healthy.
It's so fucking hard.
Because everyone drinks.
The food is way more like greasy and calorific
than you realize.
You're eating rice all the time.
And there's loads of like fried stuff.
It's a lot.
And especially with the drinking.
The drinking is the hardest part.
You were saying you gained weight here.
Yeah, because when we went on tour in America,
I'd like lost weight.
We all lost weight somehow, all three of us.
And then I was back in Japan
and I'd weighed myself like yesterday
and I had gained like three kilos
after moving back to Japan.
So I lost weight in America.
America number one.
And I gained weight.
We're back, we're back baby.
Because also in America,
almost everything has like calories on it.
Like the calorie.
Legally, yeah, they have to in most places.
And that's so helpful in Japan. It's like, dude, just figure it out. Do you know what's like OP? It it. Like the calorie. It tells you. Yeah, they have to in most places. That's so helpful in Japan.
It's like, dude, just figure it out.
You know what's like OP?
It's not just the calorie thing.
White claw.
Like you can't get white claw here in Japan.
Honestly, because if I could get drunk on white claw here,
that just removes half the calorie intake
that I could possibly get.
I mean like white claw is just like normalized in America.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna come back five pounds heavier
cause I end every night with at least one drinking Golden Guy.
I love that place.
Wait, how many times have you gone to Golden Guy?
What's up?
I've only gone twice.
I had an awkward experience the last time I went.
All right, what was it?
So we were at this bar.
It was great.
Great vibes.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
This is crazy.
It was great vibes.
I was getting the guy, the barkeep, drinks.
He gave us free tequila shots.
It was like four of us.
And it was a great night.
And at one point, he's like, what are you doing?
I'm like, ah, YouTuber.
And he's like, mm.
And so he's like, what's the channel name?
And I'm like, Ludwig.
So he looks it up on his phone.
And then he pulls up a recent VOD.
Oh, I saw this story.
He happens to have a TV that's for karaoke that shows what is on his phone.
Right.
And he put on the top VOD,
which right now is a mogul mail
that I recently uploaded
about a bit of an awkward situation.
Oh, he just starts playing that?
And he just rips it,
and we all are immediately like,
oh, no, oh, no.
But he, in his head, is like,
oh, oh, oh, no. But, like, he, in his head, is like, oh.
Oh.
Famous.
He's like, oh, he's getting embarrassed.
But I'm like, not for the right.
And I have to, like, pivot.
I'm trying to figure out how to, like, contextualize this to this Japanese guy
who doesn't know any American YouTube.
I'm like, karaoke?
And he's like, yeah.
So we just pivot to karaoke, sing Stay With Me.
That's good.
Was there anyone else in the bar or was it just you guys?
It was, we had four of us.
And then there was like his friend.
I feel like a lot of the places in Golden Guy,
like maybe a friend will just hang out with a barkeep.
And then this Italian Air Force dude, who's pretty tight.
Cool.
Yeah, cause like I always wonder how a lot of these bars
in Golden Guy stay in business.
Cause a lot of bars in Golden Guy is just one single room
and it's fucking tiny.
And do you know what's most amazing?
No matter how tiny the bar is,
they will find a way to put a toilet in there somewhere.
Like, you know, it's like incredible.
Do well, I know how they say in business,
they're fucking gouging foreigners.
Oh yeah. That's true.
I walked into a spot and we sit down, they're like cover charge. like great and they're like for each of you i'm like dope it's
like a thousand yen i'm like it's pretty common yeah it was a lot of money and then each drink
was also a thousand yen i think we spent fifty dollars in five minutes at that bar no it's like
seven thousand yen yeah there are some bars that uh will appeal more to foreigners because they'll
have a lot of english stuff but then also charge more. A lot of the bars that don't have anything
will charge less than that.
And a lot of them don't do cover charge.
But normally the ones that are trying to get tourists
charge a fuck ton.
Because they know people are willing to spend.
Yeah.
And what are you going to do
when a small Japanese lady hands you like a giant bill?
You're like,
I'm going to pay it.
Yeah.
Kind of have to.
Did you guys move here not knowing a lot of Japanese
or did you study before?
We didn't know any Japanese.
Really?
You just ripped it?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Honestly, best way to learn is go to Golden.
Get pissed drunk.
That's my school, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, genuinely.
That's how I learned most of my speaking.
Mango, mango.
Getting drunk.
Yeah.
I pretty much taught like a toddler, which I do.
But, you know, I get the job done.
You speak pretty well, at least I think.
Oh, well, thank you.
You can tell. It helps you well, at least I think. Oh, well, thank you. Yeah, you can tell.
It helps you don't know anything.
When I travel with him, he's like, he never chokes a situation.
They never say something, and he's like,
like you seem to be able to navigate pretty much every, like.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of the time, if they say something I don't know,
and then if someone will be like, do you understand that?
I'll be like, no.
But you just ride it out.
Because a lot of the times in Japan, they just talk a lot,
and the main point is like 1% of what they said.
But there's so much.
Like word problems in grade school?
Yeah, and so a lot of the times you just listen out for like keywords,
or you can kind of, if you don't get it,
you just ask a question that kind of maybe gives you an answer
more to what they're trying to say.
Obviously you could just also learn more Japanese.
Which I should do.
That's the right thing to do, but we don't do that.
We just go by like the dialogue tree option.
Whereas you listen for certain words and via the context,
you kind of like open up your dialogue tree
of like common Japanese phrases.
Cause like a lot of Japanese conversations,
especially if you're in the service industry,
they all say the same shit,
just using different words, right?
Yeah.
You know, if you just chill out,
you can probably figure out what they're trying to ask you.
And so, you know, you just work through it.
It's pretty chill.
I don't, you know, the only things I don't really do
in Japan is like taxes and go into the government hall,
but I didn't do that in English.
I don't do that in America.
I do my taxes.
Hey, me and you both, brother.
God damn.
That's a real patriot.
Well, if you're watching this, we are in Nippon.
And our plan to have blunderbusses has not worked out.
You always freak out when I say blunderbuss and you shouldn't because
it can mean anything maybe it's my gamer tag but that's not to say we have to pay the bills while
we're in japan taking it all back brilliant.org has thousands of lessons aiden i need you to be
present for this okay i you keep freaking out all the time.
We're not going to take it.
It's the best way to learn math, science, computer science interactively.
Learning a little bit every day can have a huge impact.
Haven't you learned?
And geopolitics.
And geopolitics that-
And sovereign nations.
Brilliant.org will tell you you can't take your liberty with you on the plane.
But you can learn a little every day.
Go to brilliant.org slash the yard.
The first 200 people who sign up get 20% off Brilliant's annual premium subscription.
All right.
And we're going to do a little puzzle.
Nobody's taking anything back.
We're going to do an exercise where we'll show you exactly what we mean.
This is knowledge and uncertainty.
Because it's not certain, Aiden, that we're going to end up back home.
I'm certain.
I'm certain
that we will arrive
and leave
with no,
nothing out of the ordinary.
Well, let's see then.
How about we do logic?
Yeah.
Because it's very logical,
Aiden,
to assume
that we will not
make it back home.
On certain lines,
there are two types of islanders,
knights who always tell the truth
and knaves who always
lie. That's like you. You meet two
islanders named Aditya and Bowie.
You've been stealing my mail.
Aditya says Bowie is a knight and I
am a knight and Bowie says Aditya is a
knave or I am a knave.
I think it's number... Bowie is a knight.
Yeah, Bowie is a knight. Aditya is the knave
and Bowie is the knight.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
That's the kind of shit that happens when you use brilliant.org.
On the same island, you find three friends named Channing, Daja, and Ira.
Irish.
She's Irish.
Channing says exactly two of us are knights.
She's a Gaelic broad.
Ira and myself are knights she's a gay like broad ira and myself are knights ira says channing or daija
is a knave uh channing's type is unknown without further information is that such a mix-up i don't
think that's is that the answer that's such a mix-up that it's got to be it because that's like
yeah let's go nice nice Don't you get it?
I, look,
I don't feel like
you're talking about the puzzles
when you say that.
No, you understand.
Can we go to the next question?
Our lives are gonna be different
from here on out.
You came across two more friends
named Fyod and Greg,
but only Fyod says anything.
Fyod says,
if I'm a knight,
Greg is a knave.
Uh, there isn't
enough information to be... No, no, no, no, no, you're stupid. Greg is a knave uh there isn't enough information to be no no no no you're stupid
greg is a knave i but because you know what because i believe there isn't enough information
there isn't enough information is zipper correct let's go all right guys that's the that's the
kind of hot hot brain action now i want to. Anyway, thanks so much. We're gonna get back to the episode and remember-
We're gonna get back to the episode and back home.
Not certain.
And back, that is certain.
There's no-
There will be more episodes because we will make them when we get home.
I don't-
You're just so insistent.
You will s-
Who knows?
How- Who's to say?
I say
You guys see I see I notice you don't have the heater on your bidet on like a funny prank you're doing on me Oh, well, it's not warm. It's like a coach one upstairs
I don't say wait why it should be like a sexual thing you're doing it was who turned it off. We turn it off
It must be on
Energy situation like deluxe doesn't work. Okay We turn it off. We turn it off. It must be on. It's kind of a energy situation.
It's the swipe deluxe, it doesn't work.
Okay, what, we're slandering?
Has Ludwig turned you on bidets
even before coming to Japan?
Oh my God, it's the single most useful addition
to my life that he has provided.
It's probably the only value to my life he has provided.
I've given you like so many amazing gifts
and you still talk about the bidet thing that like he has provided. It's good've given you like so many amazing gifts and you still talk about the bidet gift.
It's like the only thing that like he has provided.
It's good.
When you adopt it, it changes your life.
I'm trying to switch America,
but man are they real prude about their buttholes.
I think it's also just a pain in the ass to install a bidet.
Yeah.
It's fucking annoying.
I have done it worse more times than I've done it well.
If there was like an Uber service
where you could just pay a dude to turn up.
There is.
Amazon has that.
It's literally called Prime Order with installations. It needs to be like approachable and I've done it well. If there was like an Uber service where you could just pay a dude to turn up. There is. Amazon has that.
It's literally called a plumber.
Prime order with insulation.
It needs to be like approachable.
Cause no one wants to call a plumber.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
It also can, this is like for Americans,
it converts you to a sitter when you pee.
Yeah, I'm a sitter now all the way.
Yeah, which I think I spend more time
in the bathroom now, which is.
I like that. It's great.
It's good for me.
I don't think it's good for like my productivity
or anything, but I like it. Of course I love it. It's fine. Bathroom is a I like that. It's great. It's good for me. I don't think it's good for like my productivity or anything, but I like it.
Of course I love it.
It's fine.
Bathroom is a sanctuary, man.
You should spend more time there.
Honestly, I would not have a YouTube career
if I could not spend time just sitting on the shitter
because that's where most of my ideas come from actually.
I like that here they have the distraction button.
You can press it.
I wish you would play like, like Waka Flocka or something.
That'd be tight as fuck wait
What is the distraction button it just goes like and I know I can hear you shitting
Oh, I see if it just played like trap music just
Reverb reverb
I feel like if you play it you're almost drawing more attention to yourself that you're shitting
That's exactly I think so counter I fuck feel like it's so counterintuitive.
I put down a high score in the mall we were at
and I couldn't believe there was a bidet in there.
I was like, oh my God, there's bidets everywhere.
It's so fucking tight.
So I go, I sit down and I'm like,
I should use the button, but I'm like,
wait, then everyone knows I'm shitting.
Yeah, yeah, everyone knows.
So I just tried to have the quietest shit I could.
You can't do that.
You got big donkers, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
I was fucking biting my fist.
What are you biting your fist with? You can't do that. You got big They got a button for that
Have you found one with the sick rare, but some of them have dries. Oh we have one in our house
Although it doesn't really do it. No there it's not don't use the dryer
I don't like doing dryers with my hands. Why would I use it for my butthole? What does that mean? You don't like the hand dryer as opposed to paper towel. Yeah
I think if they had like a Dyson air blade and you're in it's just like it's like just a hole size like it's a pin
Like like the bidet and you'll go back and forth. Yeah, you know that it'll go back. Oh oscillating twice. Yeah
Yeah, we have the good the total one. Yeah, oscillating? Yeah, you press it twice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have the good, the Toto one, yeah.
Bro, we go nuts.
They should put like a jet engine in there.
So like when you shit, it just disintegrates it,
but then you can reverse the engine and it'll blow.
Like a garbage disposal.
Yeah, it'll like dry you after, so it does both.
Okay, I thought you were going to say send the shit up.
It'll only send you back the nutrients you need.
No drop wasted.
I got heavily, heavily addicted to an arcade game last night.
Oh, you did.
You did.
It was the worst arcade game you could have possibly chosen.
Dude, he was in the coin dude.
I'm a vibes guy, but I kill the vibes.
Garnt, I'll let you tell the story.
Yeah, so we went into the arcade machine.
And normally when you go into a Japanese arcade,
people, you know, they play like the rhythm games
or one of like the cool kind of like battle royales.
First thing Ludwig does is just go straight
to the horse betting machine.
Like that's the first thing he does.
Didn't you do a video being like, I am a gambling addict.
I'm trying to better.
And then you go straight for the gambling machine.
In the worst kind of gambling, virtual horses.
Yeah, I wish they were real.
Yeah, so guys, so, so.
What is the, why the fuck would you want them to be virtual?
I don't understand.
He's LARPing being a realtor.
He's just practicing.
So to preface, gambling is illegal in Japan.
So you can't-
It's like the biggest asterisk ever.
Yeah, gambling is illegal, but in this place-
Same with child porn.
Yeah.
Both illegal here. Both illegal here.
Both illegal.
But in this one place we went to,
you could not win anything.
The only thing you could possibly win is more tokens,
which Ludwig,
so Ludwig exchanged like 30 bucks worth of tokens,
which I think is more than anyone's ever exchanged
in this one.
I accidentally went to a machine
that was like mass transfer. Like there's normal machines. It's like, oh, put in a one. I accidentally went to a machine that was mass transfer.
There's normal machines that's like, put in $100,
and then there's one that's like, it's minimum $30.
And I went to that one because I didn't know the difference.
And so I had just a shit ton.
I had tokens for a group of school children.
He kept trying to explain to me.
He's like, no, no, no, you can exchange the coins.
And I'm like, well, what can you exchange them for?
He said, well, more coins.
The coins allow you to keep playing.
I'm playing the game that gives you coins.
Are these money coins?
Or their own currency?
So he got big tokens, which you could
exchange for even smaller coins, which
you could use for the machines.
It's a really fun game.
So he transferred your money, which works universally
anywhere, to a piece of plastic that only works in this one thing.
They said crypto is crazy.
And it turned to be shit.
Well, this one might not be.
So after the horse racing machine,
he found this new machine,
which the gameplay of this machine was,
how fast can you put the coins into this machine?
Yeah, and see how fast they come out
sometimes.
Depending on how fast you put coins
into this machine, it
shits out more coins.
It's just gambling.
It's not even gambling because... It was like a laundromat
simulator. He was just practicing
putting coins in something. And it's like
there is a mechanical level of skill you need
to quickly get the coins into a group and then put them in the machine because it has like a slot. And at's like, there is a mechanical level of skill you need to quickly get the coins
into a group
and then put them
in the machine
because it has like a slot.
And at the start,
I was kind of bad,
so I hired the help
of Gart and Aaron.
I was like,
you guys get this side,
I'll get this side.
Yeah.
Aaron at one point,
I'm like,
so how you doing?
He's like,
I have a follower.
And he has like a little monster
following him in the game.
And I'm like,
what's that mean?
And he's like,
well,
it gives me the monster
and now he follows me
and he'll always follow me.
I'm like,
can you take it with you after? He's like, no, he's just going to follow me for now. And I go over to Ludwig, I'm like, how you doing? He's like, well, it gives me the monster. Now he follows me and he'll always follow me. I'm like, can you take it with you after?
He's like, no, he's just going to follow me for now.
And I go over to Ludwig.
I'm like, how are you doing?
He's like, I have a follower.
And they are not communicating.
But they both individually came to the conclusion
that this is valuable.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Somehow there was an RNG mechanic
where sometimes you can summon and engage.
There's a screen where I don't-
It sounds like shit. It is so shit. It's like the girl bars where you can pay for in-game, like there's a screen where I don't- It sounds like shit.
It is so shit.
The girl bars where you can like pay for people
to hang out with you.
It's like the follower kind of keeps you on a machine.
It feels like you're on a journey.
At least you get companionship out of that.
What do you get out of this?
More coins, more coins.
More coins.
I think it was like about half an hour into this
where we kind of just sat there,
like we had this realization of like,
why are we playing this?
And you were just like, no, no, no, dude.
You don't understand, you get more coins.
And I think Nick asked, so what do you do with the coins?
Well, you get to play more.
And then after you play more, you get more coins.
And sometimes you get like a jackpot.
We get like-
It was like parasite and he's in the basement
and then the camera like goes up through the levels and we're like
Sophisticated playing the claw machines. Yeah, we cannot we cannot stop winning
We're on the closet and what I mean by cannot stop winning is Sydney had spoke who speaks Japanese
Told the people at Taito to put the toys closer to the edge so that we could win more. Yeah, which they did for us
Yeah, so we want a bunch. Yeah, well, they don't really have the concept
but people might like just not play it
and ask them to move it.
So it's kind of a trust thing.
Right, and you can just abuse that.
For sure.
Yeah, I realized it was bad
because I think I sat there for an hour and a half
and they talked about karaoke
and going to that 30 minutes in
and then they kept bringing it up
and I was so sucked into the machine.
And in my mind, I was like, mom, i can't pause the game but the game never ends yeah we keep putting
more money they all walked out and i'm still playing and i'm and it's like at this point it's
a cut scene because it's just making me money because i've put so many coins in at this point
so i'm just watching the coins fall and i'm just smiling and then gart like pokes his head down
he's like dude and i was like yeah no my my bad. I saw Gart looked like genuinely concerned.
We're all waiting outside.
And he kind of like for a moment,
it's like, I'm going to go check on him.
And he goes back in and you come out
and you're just, you're still talking about the coins.
You're like, I left about,
you're like, oh, I left 1,200 coins.
I left about 2,000 coins.
Somebody came up so big.
The number keeps going up, by the way.
It's so many coins.
Can you do something with these coins?
No. You could smelt the way. Oh, okay. Can you do something with these coins?
No.
You could smelt the metal and make a sword.
Have you thought about the sword metal?
Yeah.
I think we had just made a perpetual motion machine.
They said it's not possible.
Just put Ludwig in front of one of those machines.
Yes, sir.
It'll just go on until the end of the universe.
I am the perpetual motion.
There's a really cool thing that I've always wanted to play. There's like a
six-player Mario Party
gambling machine.
There's not many of them left
because it's pretty old, but I just found it
really weird that Nintendo would allow that.
But yeah, it's just like Mario Party.
They used to be nuts. I don't think
Nintendo has a lot of dominance
on what they allow here. I was like walking
down the street and I saw Mario
and it was like coming to our bank
and it was like a voice bubble.
I don't think they signed off on Mario.
No, they did, for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
What?
They're way more lax here, I think.
Yeah, it's super, they're so much more trusting here
of like Japanese brands.
It's like Mario and he's like,
read Hello Baby, chapter three.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is odd how like Nintendo is like a, you know,
they're like anything Japan related promotion,
like yeah, fuck it, use Mario, dude, fuck it.
Yeah, like, fuck it.
Yeah, the Pikachu tango is weird.
The Pikachu tango is a bit weird.
It's like the default missing texture
when you don't have a graphic for that.
Yeah, yeah, but it's kind of strange
how they're like really strict about it abroad
and they won't give it to companies a lot.
Yeah, that's true with a lot of Japanese companies.
I think they're just afraid.
Ava as well.
Ava, yeah.
There's like everything Ava.
As soon as you talk about them using the IP
in somewhere abroad, they're like, no, we do not do that.
But here in Japan, you can get fucking anime butt plugs.
You can live off Ava, literally.
There's Ava food, there's Ava everything you would want,
like a gambling machine.
It's a video.
And I can get these anywhere.
Someone's done that.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anything Ava you can get.
Think about it.
There's an Ava version of it.
Yeah.
Well, like for the joke,
like for the butt plug thing,
it's like a real thing.
No, no, you could definitely
get an Ava butt plug.
There is definitely
an Ava butt plug.
But it's like licensed IP?
Yeah, probably.
That's tight.
Okay, I have a question.
I have a question on,
not to bring it back.
We can just glaze over
this question real quick.
All right.
Dojin cheese.
The question is, are those bring it back, we can just glaze over this question real quick. Dough Jinchies.
The question is, are those licensed? No.
But why are they allowed to be sold at a store?
Okay, so there's an unspoken trust system.
Between one party.
It's because if you were working at like,
for Ava, you'd have to say you went into that section.
So you can't admit it.
Okay, so I just like happened to be there
and like, it was like,
dude, I actually thought it was like the learning section.
Yeah, so there are certain like kind of like IPs
that you will notice get a lot of doujinshi.
So there's a reason for that
because there are some IPs
that let's say are more family friendly,
and their companies are much more strict
with what they allow as like fan products.
But with some doujinshis,
some companies know that fan products help push the sales
of that certain IP,
mostly because their fans are probably horny as fuck.
So they know by letting the doujinshi industry exist
for their certain IPs that it is gonna like
subconsciously push sales.
Now, if only they could take this mentality
to other aspects of the entertainment industry.
If they let porn be the one thing.
Yeah, it's like the Hassan industrial clip complex.
It's just like, let's plays, no, no.
But porn, yeah, we're gonna allow that.
There's so many IPs that are, if there was like, let's please? No, no. But porn? Yeah. We're gonna allow that. There's so many IPs
that are involved. If there was like a big
pedophile meetup, they'd have so much to talk about.
They would have like, there's so many IPs
that they could talk about that they all like.
Yeah, no, it's in Fukuoka.
It's in Fukuoka. Yeah, yeah.
Fuck all this kid stuff. You guys wanna go get a drink?
I'm gonna get cancer.
Do people get upset at you?
It's a very like weird topic on at you? It's a very weird topic
and it's a very heated thing
because online there are
a bunch of people who are obviously
very staunchly against it.
In the anime fandom, there are also a lot of people
who just believe that
drawings
shouldn't be considered the same thing
and it's a different culture.
I also feel like there's a different culture, yada, yada, yada,
same kind of thing.
Yeah, I also feel like there's a weird reverence for Japan
for people who have not even been to Japan.
Oh, for sure.
Nobody's like, dude,
I hope you don't break the rules in Thailand.
You know what I mean?
Nobody has these concerns or like,
dude, you can't go to Indonesia and not speak the language.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
But if it's Japan,
you better fucking learn some manners.
You better respect the culture.
It's so bizarre. We did the McDonald's stream
and we were eating a mega McMuffin
and we didn't finish it and they were like,
you can't waste food in Japan.
I was like, what do you think that's exclusive to Japan?
No, that's like a world thing.
Yeah, first of all, anywhere you shouldn't waste food.
Second of all, it's a mega McMuffin. All right.
Cut me a break.
That's so funny.
Did someone say that in chat? Yeah.
Like they spell waste like your waist as well,
which I thought was funny.
Yeah.
But I always think when you're in Japan,
it's something about like the Japanese culture where everyone's just like,
so kind of like in their own worlds that you just don't want to break kind of
the system that they have here.
Right. It's so funny. like i would be against this shit but it's so popular i don't want to fit in school so everyone wants to fit in yeah yeah what's what's the one thing
you've been afraid of that you've like really like afraid of like offending japanese people
afraid of like not respecting their culture um i get nervous when I'm on a train,
when I want to sit down, and there's one seat,
and it's smushed between three people,
and my child-birthing hips are trying to squeeze into it.
So sometimes I'm like, I'll just stand.
But when there's not an elder in sight,
but the priority section is the only one open,
and it's like, ooh, I want to sit there,
but am I going to be a dick for sitting there?
It's okay to sit there as long as,
if someone does come along.
Yeah, I'll fuck with all people, I guess.
Yeah, I guess so.
I've been really nervous about walking around
with a beverage in my hand, even if I'm not drinking.
Is that fake shit?
Yeah, that's bullshit.
Yeah, that's bullshit.
Okay, here's one thing I heard,
because I've heard that it's rude
to eat and walk at the same time, right?
I think that became like a whole thing just because nobody does it.
Yeah.
So everyone feels like it's a bad thing, but nobody cares.
You can eat and walk.
Just don't make a fucking mess.
Because I remember moving to Japan,
I remember reading about, oh, you can't eat and walk at the same time.
Well, you're not supposed to.
No, no, no.
No, go ahead and tell them.
Go ahead, tell them what you think.
Gentlemen, you're not supposed to.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you, you're not supposed to. Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean, you're not supposed to?
Like, what you're supposed to do is you get it
if you're, like, at a food stall,
and then you eat it right next to the food stall,
and then you put your wrapper in your pocket,
and then you piece.
Are you talking about just in Japan or in America?
In Nihonga.
No, no, yeah, you do that.
No, this is beautiful.
He's, like, telling women how tampons work.
They're not Japanese
Even Joey I call up Joe right now. He'd say the same thing. He would say like just
Was fucking terrible
What do I sound like someone from Peaky Blinders when you
Because yesterday we were in that shop.
We were doing Connor pressure.
What the fuck?
We were technically-
Why am I the one in the douchey section?
It was more-
Oh, because I told you to go.
Yeah, it started Connor pressure,
but then it moved to the main character from The Boys.
And then we kept saying,
you think I'm jerking off to this?
This is a sting operation.
You think I'm a fucking pedophile?
Oh, you think I like this shit?
Look at my cock right now.
It's soft.
What accent is that?
It's the guy from the boys.
It's what you sound like.
It's authentic.
This is you.
That is not what I sound like.
Well, you probably would be saying the opposite,
but it is your accent.
Well, no, that would go against that as well.
Yeah, I don't do the eating thing
because I did get anxious,
but maybe I'll just do it.
You should go to Denny's here.
I'm going to order a large pizza
and walk down the street.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
That's a full fucking meal.
Like, that's a... Look how mad I am. Hey, you guys told me it's okay. How do you, that's a full fucking meal. Like that's a...
Hey, you guys told me it's okay.
How did you get in the US?
How the fuck did we get from like...
Oh, just get a whole fucking bowl of pasta.
I hate Italians.
I'm gonna have the pasta with a spoon and I'm gonna twirl it while I'm walking.
And then if anyone says a shit, I'm gonna pull up a picture of Connor.
I'm gonna say... He told me it's cool oh bro that's a slam dunk hey right here
don't hurt me some lovely they have good French food they do love French culture
here they do love French culture here they do love Italian food here they love everything European
I saw El Pollo Loco here.
Or no, no, sorry, El Torito here.
It's like an American Mexican restaurant.
No idea what that is.
They have Mr. Donut here.
Have you seen that too?
Yeah, we went there, right?
We went there.
It's bad.
Wait, is it not Japanese?
Mr. Donut is American.
Is it?
It was garbage.
Yeah, it's fucking terrible.
My donut was fire.
It's Mr. Donut, and apparently,
because for a video I said the wrong thing.
I said it was Japanese
because I'd never seen it anywhere else.
It's an American chain.
And then most of them got turned into Dunkin' Donuts
in the US.
American runs on it.
That's just facts, bro.
I've noticed a few American chains
that I've never seen in America.
But I think it's because they're just like shit.
So what they do is they export it
and then they fail in America,
but because it's like an American chain here in Asia,
it just like stays around.
It's like, oh, I see an American chain.
Yeah, Shoney's Pizza.
They've Shoney's Pizza here.
The fuck is that?
You're saying that like I should know it.
In Thailand, there's an ice cream chain called Swensen.
That's American.
That's American from San Francisco. And I checked this up because I was like, there'senson. That's American. That's American, from San Francisco.
And I checked this up because I was like, there's no way
this is American. We're not far from that.
Swenson these nuts, yeah, classic,
classic.
Shoney's like an American thing?
I've never heard of it. Bro, we got Denny's,
we got Taco Bell, we got McDonald's.
Are you married at Denny's here?
You can do that in America. You can.
And a Taco Bell.
Why would you want to? I'm sorry,? You can do that in America. You can. And a Taco Bell. Okay, well,
why would you want to?
You want to get married,
first of all.
I'm sorry,
I have to explain that to you?
You get free chalupas for life.
Pancake puppies
and married in the same location?
You should go to Denny's.
I want to see what you guys
think of Denny's here.
Is it good?
Denny's here is very different.
It's extremely different.
It's very different.
It was a wake-up call.
Last time I was in Japan,
which was six years ago,
I went to Yoshinoya,
and I've never been there in America.
Oh.
So I was like, okay,
that's pretty decent food.
I went home and I was like,
oh, Yoshinoya.
I went there in Japan.
I should go eat there.
That shit was different.
It's so bad.
It's so bad in America.
It's a totally different menu as well, right?
It's like they use worse cows.
It just feels like... USDA prime beef, baby. It's just worse food. It probably is use worse cows. It just feels like...
USDA prime beef, baby.
It's just worse food.
It probably is just worse cows.
And it's also way more imbalanced.
I feel like they just have only rice.
They give you three pieces of beef
with two carrots that are steamed.
Have you guys had a hamburger yet?
Like a hamburger?
No, no, no.
A hamburger.
Not a hamburger. A hamburger. That's No, no, no. A hamburger. Not a hamburger.
A hamburger.
That's how Ludwig
would try to say hamburger.
Yeah.
Dude, and you'd be right, okay?
Half the time,
half the time
when I'm trying to speak
Japanese to someone
because there's so many
Americans still in words.
I know.
I learned this.
If you go to Denny's,
you can't get a hamburger,
but you can get a hamburger,
which is kind of like a...
You keep saying it weird.
It's shit. Is it just, is it, okay, wait,
maybe I saw this at 7-Eleven.
Is it just like ground beef circles?
Yeah, it's just like the patty.
Yes.
With veg on the side.
Yeah, with veg and fries or potatoes.
And it's not flat.
It's like usually like they're thick little bald-ass boys.
Yeah, they're like really, really thick.
They're very thick.
It's almost like a deconstructed burger
just without like the bread.
So shit. It's called open face in America. Why do they like that? It's called open face burger. That almost like a deconstructed burger just without it's like the bread so shit called open face in America
Why do they like that? Sounds like a slow? I don't know
Sounds tight I want to try one you know what I do want to try it Sydney was telling us about a vor cafe
That shit sounds I found what I really want to do while I'm here I
Hear you go down a mouth slide into a stomach pool.
Yeah.
Goo?
Yeah.
Sydney got offered to do a video there,
and then she had to sign a waiver that says that
if she dies via asphyxiation in any of the rooms,
they're not liable.
And she was like,
I don't feel like doing this anymore.
And that stomach go deep.
I'm like,
what the fuck is going on in this vault cafe? I want to know what the goo feel like. You ever wonder that? You ever wonder what the goo feel like doing this anymore. And that stomach go deep. I'm like, what the fuck is going on in this Vore cafe?
I want to know what the goo feel like.
You ever wonder that?
You ever wonder what the goo feel like?
You just have a Vore fetish, and it's okay to express it,
but we don't have that.
I can't confidently say I do yet, you know?
You're in the right country.
You're in the right country to try out.
I might put my toes in the goo sand equivalent,
whatever they got in there, and figure out I don't like it.
Dude, you should have signed a waiver
for what happened to you in that muscle girl cafe.
Yeah, that was fun.
Bro, I heard you got ran train on.
Dude, I got beat up.
Are you bruised at all?
No, my face still hurts.
You look kind of fucked up.
Yeah, that's my whole face actually.
I heard the entire squad showed up.
I just like.
The dude brought like the entire roster showed up. I just... Yeah. The dude brought, like, the entire roster.
It was insane.
It was like...
Smash Bros, everybody was here, man.
And they just...
They went to town.
They went to town.
I thought they were going to slap me.
It was going to be funny and kind of like,
oh, wow.
Yeah.
It wasn't.
It was like, you, like, murdered my son's slap.
Like, it was full on.
Surely that's someone's, like, dream.
For sure.
For sure.
And you pay $30 a slap normally wait person
Oh for the dollars I'll be not with them to slide. Yeah. Yeah. How many slaps do you get for 30 bucks one?
I think I think it's probably maybe everyone that works there. Do you think it's just one?
I'm a drinker. I think right sure. Yeah, you gotta drink with that. Come on. Yeah after yeah
They beat the shit out of me. It was kind of insane
Yeah, do you have like a like a job on the side? Are they just really strong for this job? I think that's what they do. Yeah, that's what that's the drill
Dude, I didn't have to sign a waiver or anything
Like I was like should have bro cuz that for sure you could have come like the next day loopy
You could have been concussed. They just know no one would go to the hospital. Like I got slapped by yeah
I mean, I got paid for a girl slap me to hurt too bad
The video won't be out when this comes out, but It won't be no pretty won't be it's fine
We can talk about it. I mean, it's it's so fucking this is coming out like two weeks. Yeah, it won't be okay
Okay, but like yeah, I mean it was it was a lot and uh, definitely don't think I want to get slapped that hard again
They slam me way harder than yeah, there's 18 slaps in a row 18 slaps in a row. Okay? Well
I did not let I thought I was fucked up that he didn't split nine and nine with you.
And I want you to know I would have split with you.
Well, first of all, first of all, his video.
I think they also saw the strength at which they were going and
none of them wanted to participate.
Nope.
Yeah, so first logic was his video.
But second of all, I didn't know how hard the slaps were going in.
I didn't know either.
We did rock, paper, scissors for who gets slapped and he lost.
So it's like, it's like.
Yeah. Was it harder than you Do you have scissors? Yeah.
Was it harder than you guys went at your fucking slap?
Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
Maybe with the exception of, like, the last slap that I did, but I think...
Yeah, but, like, 18 of that is fucked up.
Yeah.
And they didn't give me any, like...
You know how, like, Charlie would be like,
yeah, they should have been wearing ear guards and cotton in their mouth.
Like, we didn't have any of that.
Is that a voice-critical thing? Yeah. Oh, okay. Because if you get guards and cotton in their mouth. We didn't have any of that. Is that a voice critical thing?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Because if you get slapped and you get hit in the ear,
you can just push wind into it,
and then your eardrum can pop really easily.
It makes a nice little whistle.
One of them was wearing a ring, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, she turned it inwards.
Yeah, one of them fucking clapped my neck.
One of them went for the temple.
It was fucked up.
That is so tight.
And then you have to wonder, who's
going there? Who's
leaving bricked up? Yeah.
I saw Chris leaving it there again last night.
He went for round two.
It's in a very sketchy area as well.
It's pretty popular, actually, as well.
Extremely. Because we rented the place out for two hours.
And
literally the moment it opened,
there was two dudes who just came in.
It was so awkward.
Kyle started talking to them in Japanese
and was like, nah, leave.
We filmed, you know, we got it.
And they were like, Korean, please?
I like how they're like literally five minutes
before opening ready, lined up at the Muscle Girl bar.
Like, all right, come on, baby.
They're the ones that want to get slapped.
Yeah, right.
Yo, I'm in line, baby.
And then the moment we were supposed to end,
there was already two people outside the door
ready for them to come in.
And they live streamed the whole thing.
So I feel like, you know, if you went there
and it's like, yo, King, you're getting live streamed,
getting like beat up.
Yeah.
Is there more tourists or 100% tourists, basically?
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's their like target market now.
I think they've heavily leaned into,
I don't know how many Japanese people like to get slapped.
I think actually quite a lot
because a lot of girls bars have this kind of option
to get kind of like beat up for some reason.
Cause it kind of makes sense in a muscle girl bar.
This one time I went to like a steampunk bar.
That sounds tight, yeah.
Yeah, I thought, you know, this steampunk,
what's the worst thing that can happen in steampunk?
Can't go wrong. You need some gears. Yeah, it's just like, you see some gears,ampunk, what's the worst thing that can happen in the steam? Can't go wrong. Eat some gears.
Yeah, it's just like you see some gears,
see some cool settings.
Couple gizmos.
Yeah, whatever.
100%.
So there was an option there to get fucking whipped
at full strength.
With like an actual whip?
Like an actual whip.
Dude, that would hurt so bad.
That would make you bleed.
Blood.
It fucking hurt.
You did it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, and I wanted to make sure nothing crazy was there, It's a blood. It fucking hurt. You did it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He's like, he's like, and I wanted to make sure nothing crazy was there, but I had to
do it.
It was, it was, it was for a video.
I will say.
Okay.
What did you bleed?
Blood?
I didn't, I didn't.
I was, I was wearing clothes at the time.
It's like fucking Jesus on the cross.
He's not like go forth and slap me.
The crucifixion cafe.
Well, I probably have something like that.
That's probably something like that.
Can't crucify for $ probably have something like that.
There's probably something like that.
Can't crucify for $30?
Think about anything, they probably have it.
Any theme, they have it.
That's rule 35.
What are the first
34?
There's like a bazillion bunny girl cafe
girls bars everywhere.
There's like a bar where girls will treat you like a baby.
And they'll like, I think that's actually a name
for that fetish, but they'll literally treat you
like a baby and feed you.
They'll give you a bottle.
Let them give you a bottle.
They'll change you?
I don't know, maybe, probably.
That's like this-
Okay, hold on.
So I'm wearing an all white painter's outfit.
Oh my God.
And I shit myself in the baby bar are they
Like are we talking wet wipe are we talking we're talking 10,000 yen up front and then 10,000 yen when they're done
You better be buying like 30 drinks by the end this to tip them. I'll buy whatever it normally a price
Yeah, people will normally do something fucking weird for a price
I'll buy whatever it takes. There's normally a price.
People will normally do something fucking weird for a price.
It's kind of gross.
Or have you noticed Japanese people be embarrassed
about the fetishes that they have?
Like if someone's caught at a maid cafe,
is that embarrassing?
No, not really.
I wouldn't say so.
The people who go to those cafes
are normally not shy about it.
One thing that I've always been shocked by
is how open people are about them
if they like
Buy prostitutes or hire prostitutes. It's weirdly
Some Japanese people are really open about it
And I always thought that if people did that they would just be really embarrassed wouldn't tell people but if you go to some bars
You're like, hey, you know, what do you like to do? Be like, huh? So planned
Yeah, oh, that's what the prostitute places. It's called soap land. You'll notice it. If you start looking out, there's the everywhere.
Yeah.
Like SOAP land.
Yeah.
You write it down.
No, I want to know what to avoid.
Cause I think that shit's wacking.
Yeah. For sure.
Yeah. They advertise a service where they wash you.
And obviously when you get there, you know.
They wash you.
They do wash you.
They do wash you.
Why do you keep saying it like that?
The loophole is because prostitution is illegal in Japan.
Even though it's widely readily available.
Isn't it legal if it's your butt
and also your also mouth and your butt?
Isn't that how that works?
I think so, but in Japan, right?
I thought it was only vaginal penetration.
I thought that was the thing.
How'd you know this?
Yeah.
I watch a lot of Naruto.
But the thing is that I guess the loophole around it is that they claim is that like,
well, you know, you pay for the service of being washed.
And if something of passion happens.
Yeah, I know.
This is genuinely.
Bro, it was a shower.
This is like some kind of weird justification.
They had really good soaps there.
That's why.
Fucking funny.
Wait, that's why they call it Soap Land.
Yes.
Wait, you just called that?
You'll see it.
You'll see it everywhere.
Now that we've mentioned it,
definitely in your area, there's a lot.
Oh, so it's going to be like one of those,
I don't know what they call that phenomenon,
but it's like you hear about it and then you see. You will see a lot of them. I have great lot. It's going to be like one of those, I don't know what they call that phenomenon, but it's like you see, like you hear about
it and then you see.
I have great news.
What is it? They changed the URL for
Factor.
They actually changed it. It went from
go.factor.75.com
slash theyard43
to now
factormeals.com forward slash theyard50
which is way better.
It used to be a Bitcoin address.
New year, new goals, new fucking URL.
Factors ready to eat meals straight to your fucking mouth.
You know what?
I actually don't like when you read that.
Why?
I don't think you do a lot.
You don't think I would?
I'd prefer you just sing the ridiculousness of it.
Skip the grocery store, the shopping chopping the prepping what you say
Fucking reading my
I'm a pod you don't mean it. You're saying the profession. I literally impression. Oh, no that's it up fish up fucking no
Professional you me factor. What do you fucking like about it? Huh?
I what I like about factor the fact that I know I can count my calories. That's it
It's actually like
Convenient wise counting calories is like probably the most valuable thing you can do to lose weight or gain weight
or just have like a good macro which you've only done one of and so you know my favorite thing to
do with factor is i like to heat them up to their to their where they're really really hot way more
than you're supposed to and then i like to throw them at ludwig's face like a pie this is such a
bad thing to say but you need to buy them to do that.
Oh, you gotta buy them.
And you can still eat it off of his face.
You know what I like to do with Factor?
I like to heat it up real hot and throw it at kids in the neighborhood.
I know, I'm not throwing it at kids.
I'm throwing it at you.
I know, but like from that logic, would you then defend it and say, well, you still have
to buy it?
Or maybe you just want to eat them.
You can still eat it off of Ludwig's face.
Like a dog.
So you have 34 meal choices per week. Yes, sir. You guys don't eat this. You guys are faking the fuck. I eat them. You can still eat it off of Ludwig's face. Like a dog. So you have 34 meal
choices per week.
Yes sir.
You guys don't eat this.
You guys are faking the
funk.
I eat this.
I ate these all the time
when we lived together.
What are you talking
about?
They're so good.
I'm like hey you want
a factor?
And I'm like yes.
How long ago?
Every single time that
you asked me to eat a
factor meal I would be
like yes Ludwig I would
like a factor meal.
Name one time I said
no.
Name one time.
He actually said them
all the time.
You eat factor as frequently as you frag out in a show match against Terrence.
Outdated, bud.
Anyway, Factor is good because you can track, and it also tastes good,
and it's also really easy to do.
It's calorie smart.
If you're a cringe keto user, you can use it.
You can also switch it up a lot.
It's insanely convenient.
It's actually really good. We actually eat it with our real human mouths. It's not a joke. I eat it. You can also switch it up a lot. It's insanely convenient. It's actually really good. We
actually eat it with our real human mouths.
It's not a joke. I'm going to keep it a bean
with you, boys and girls.
Where can we go to get this?
Factormeal.com
Factormeals.com slash theyard50 for 50%
off. It's kind of simple.
Your first box.
And they have to use the code
theyard50 to get 50% off.
For America's number one ready to eat meal kit.
Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na I would love one. I didn't know I could ask for that. Yeah, of course. Actually, none for Nick. He's not allowed.
Only like trash taste hosts are allowed, actually.
Hold on, wait for this.
That's fine, that's fine.
So what now?
No, that's actually the shape of Japan.
It's a gecko.
Oh.
I thought it was the entities.
It's a gecko. Oh fuck, I'll clean this later.
Alright, soap land? Alright, so planned?
Alright, so so planned Yeah
Did you know about this?
Is that why Sonic wears soap shoes?
No, no
Is that where that comes from?
It could be
Oh shit, he's like
He's just trying to get there as fast as he can
Yeah
And he's got coins
He's like Ludwig
Holy shit, Sonic is a metaphor
Ludwig is pretty much like Sonic, I'd say
Yeah, they're the same.
He's like the Sonic the Hedgehog of busting nuts.
That's a good joke.
People watch this show, right?
They make it this far, right?
You guys put your logo up, so I figure I do your schtick.
We can put this one on your guys' channel if you guys want it.
We can put it on your channel.
We keep the Patreon episode.
You guys do your thing.
I'm sorry.
It's all good.
I was at this place, Shosen Book Tower,
earlier that day.
I'd been there once before,
so I knew the layout of the store
and the manga and gaming stuff
is towards the top, right?
I'm trying to find a Super Mario art book.
No, you're not.
I was.
I actually am.
Officer.
This place, behind the veil, all Mario.
But on the top floor, it's just regular porn.
Just normal people.
When I get to that floor, I realize that there's like a queue to take photos with these people.
And there's some sort of like porn fan meetup on the top floor that I, because of the escalator I've chosen to go up,
have no choice but to go through the fan meetup line to get to the other escalator to go down
So I'm just like the only foreigner on the top floor in this like it in just a sea of
Pornography and people taking photos and I'm just like quietly. It's like I have to get out here
I'm not very convenient story to uh explain why you'd like
There was no fail to go through well the veil the veil is the floor, right? You gotta go up the escalator, I guess.
But the floor downstairs, there was no veil, there was no thing that...
You know, it's like gaming books, some manga that I didn't recognize,
and then right next to it is these kids, and I'm like, oh, that's crazy.
I don't even get the courtesy of the veil.
He's gonna fly home and go through clear
and they're going to scan his eyeball
and they're going to arrest you.
In the 7-Eleven, they sell Poldemags, right?
Yeah.
It's like those are just, you can see it.
That's just kind of out there, yeah.
You can see what it is.
They are sealed, though.
They are sealed.
Onigiri and some...
That's one of my Japan nitpicks.
Yeah, I saw some of your Japan nitpicks on Twitter actually yeah, yeah, that was that was a transportation nitpicks
You know just just small stuff this was a I just don't like that when I'm like browsing for books that they're packaged
I can't look at what's inside before I buy it
Yeah, especially like
That is a fucking stupid take that he just said.
Yeah.
I don't like that I can't use the product in the store to its full degree without buying it for free.
No, this is word for word.
Bar for bar.
There's this weird monkey part of your brain that's like, I just want to flick through it.
I don't know why.
It doesn't help me at all. I just want to make sure it's still there.
I just want to make sure it's a book, right?
It's probably from...
It could be a fake.
Officer, I was checking to make sure it really was a book right? Like it's not, like it could be a fake. Officer, I was checking to make sure
it really was a book.
I look, what's inside is not my problem.
You're just trying to run out
and just knock everything over with your dick?
Cause the thing is with the Joe Ginchis,
you can flick through that in like five minutes, man.
You can like, it's like a hidden run, right?
To be clear, not the books I was trying to go through.
Not the, I just want to look at Link.
This is a seven floor building and I've heard nothing of the other floors that were fascinating.
There's other floors?
Yeah, there were other floors.
Well, there was one floor that's just entirely trains, so that was like a cool floor.
It's the floor that-
Where do you think they get rid of all of them?
That building has got to go somewhere.
We got a porn actress, very-
Did you go to the floor with the, uh...
Where they have, like, all the figures in the boxes?
Like, the cases?
I don't think there was in that store.
It's all books, all books.
I liked seeing the demographics of people
in that store on the different floors.
Because on the porn floor,
it's, like, a lot of...
It's a lot of guys who, like,
you know, kind of look like they're
there for porn and then the guys i saw a guy with only a ponytail but no other hair it was crazy
he looked like a tonahawk build a character like comic book guy in simpsons like no hair and then
a ponytail but the ponytail was lush like like that's the only healthy hair he has and then he
put his put a little ribbon on yeah and like that i'm like that kind he has. And then he just put a little ribbon on it. Yeah, and like that, I'm like, that kind of checks out.
But then you go to the, and then I went to like the floor
that was like, it was like mostly architecture and trains.
And it's like, there's a lot of put together guys
on that floor.
It's like, they're only there for some like
Frank Lloyd Wright readings in Japanese.
It's like the weirdest Disneyland you've ever seen
where every room is just differently themed.
Yeah. Train attackers are fucking wild here. They are intense. Yeah. It's like the weirdest Disneyland you've ever seen where every room is just differently themed.
Train otakus are fucking wild here.
They are intense.
Yeah. Really?
Yeah, they will like-
I actually like, I think they're more scary
than the porn otakus.
Honestly, porn like-
Wait.
Porn otakus, I kind of get them.
They just want to jack off.
I get it.
Train otakus, they are in so deep.
Cause most of them aren't beating off to the trains.
So there's- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, them aren't beating off to the trains. So where...
Hold up.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Yeah, they've like...
They'll destroy property and stuff and cut down trees
to get like a shot of the train like the way they want.
What?
There was a clip recently.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
Destroy properties.
Yeah, yeah.
They'll like go on...
How do you destroy a property?
To take hot train pics?
As a citizen.
Well, let's say like... I don't know, man.
Let's say someone's fence is in the way of the perfect shot.
They'll destroy the fence.
They'll get rid of it.
And there's a video that was on Twitter the other day
where for some reason a train carriage
needed to be transported in public on a truck.
And it was like a zombie movie.
There were these dudes sprinting behind this truck
trying to get pictures of it.
In traffic, in traffic.
This is.
Don't these exist every day?
Aren't they like?
Yeah, and so I got on this sleeper train,
and on my video you can see, dude,
it's like the paparazzi came out
to watch these two trains dock. they're like they're like fighting over
Fighting over each other to get the shot. It's insane
They are they are people who are into like what's the shit where you're in like planet sized cartoons?
Well fuck I know what you're talking about. What's that? So it's just they're just imagining. It's like a big penis
Right What what did this tension come? We're just imagining it's like a big penis. Right? That's what we're doing.
Where did this tangent come from?
Where did this tangent come from?
What were you talking about?
You were comparing trains to penises?
You've brought up a lot of weird shit today.
I wanted to tell you that.
I don't know.
I feel like I don't know.
Japan is a weird place.
It's like I'm being normal.
This is helping me.
This is helping, hold on.
Helping me understand why there were so many model trains
at the culture zone. Yeah
Like a lot of trains
It's it's it's yeah
That's why isn't the bright next to the porn section because they can go through the train and then they go to the porn section
Afterwards because they're already bricked up easy transition
The demographics believe it or not overlap very heavily
This is my this is what I like about Japan probably this
very heavily.
This is my,
this is what I like about Japan?
Probably this.
What, the porn?
Probably the deep ties
between porn and trains.
I don't,
I'm trying to think
of an answer
to that question
that isn't like
incredibly simple.
Like the food is good
or...
You like the food?
It feels amazing.
Any food have surprised you
or anything that
you didn't expect to like
that you did like?
Have you tried any like new
like Japanese dishes?
I haven't gotten weird.
I've only tried the things I know I like.
That's how I am.
Sperm sack.
The sperm sack from the fish.
You like that?
It was decent.
How the fuck do you eat that
and think it's decent?
What?
It did.
It's complimentary if you're bisexual.
They just bring it to your table.
It's true.
I got it for free,
and they set it down in front of me,
and I saw...
I just see something that, to me,
looked generally interesting and appetizing and then my friend
Who was with us?
He he tells me what it is and then at first I have like a I have like an aversion
Yeah, I'm like I'm like
And then I was thinking about well just a minute ago
I was excited to eat this so it shouldn't change anything and then and then I tried it
It was like yeah, that's pretty good. That's why I like a a lot of the time i'm just i'm like don't don't ask
what it is yeah i just eat it first and find out later because when i found out it was sperm
like fish sperm sack i mean i didn't like the taste initially but then when i found it out it
just made it it just put me off even more i tried some fish maybe you can help me i don't remember
what it's called but it was like a long yellow Thing and it was like really hard and like the texture was like bumpy and I chewed it and tasted like I was
Sushi place. Yeah, like would you say it's comparable to like nails like toenails? No, it was like chewing erasers like rubber
Oh, what is the thing that you're talking about?
Fish that like fish fins.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
Is it the monkfish where they dry it and it's really chewy?
I think so, yeah.
It's like the skate, maybe.
Yeah.
It literally has the same consistency as toenails.
Yeah.
And it's like a little bit salty as well.
Right, like toenails.
It's kind of what you imagine toenails would taste like.
And as soon as that's in your mind.
That's kind of like when imagine toenails would taste like and you cut as soon as that's in your mind That's kind of what like when when we all used to live together Ludwig come home after a long day, and I'd you know
I'd get going yeah
It's kind of like edamame it's an appetizer in France. It's a whole culture thing. Let's not be insensitive
What are some other pet peeves of japan then the the i think
the thing i was explaining or the thing i was trying to get across when i made my tweet before
the before the weebs came for me okay was that i i think it is not a very simple system to access
when you like touch down for the first time like for for getting on the train because you're you're
immediately struck with all of these different logos
for all of these different types of trains and passes,
and it's not very clear to you
that the cards might do something different
or that they might functionally be the same.
And I think in comparison to a lot of places
where, I think the best case scenario now,
I don't think it's weird to have a transport card,
but I think the most ideal scenario is a few cities
You go to the train and you tap on with like whatever debit card you have
I might like a my American contactless debit card and I can like tap onto the train in London
Which is to be clear is not better than the trains here
I don't think the underground is better, but like that one aspect of it is really really simple. Yeah, I agree
Yeah, because i think
they've i wouldn't say over engineered but they've definitely like the way the train system here is
structured is sometimes overly complicated uh i uh i took my uh wife's parents around the other day
and we had to go to like a city that was like next to tokyo so i thought living in japan i would have
no problems with the train at all but even just figuring out the ticketing system
to get from one city to another,
sometimes you need to buy two separate tickets.
You need to buy one ticket to get-
Oh, the limited express ticket.
Oh my God, I hate this shit.
Yeah, you need to buy one ticket
to get to the place you wanna go to.
And then if you take a special train,
then you need to like plan ahead
and make sure you get another extra special ticket
for that specific train.
I need to put both tickets into the ticket machine
or it won't let you in.
It's not explained at all why you have to do this
on the English thing.
It just tells you that it's like,
do you want this ticket or this ticket?
And they both don't mean really anything.
Yeah.
It's very confusing.
Yeah.
You know, even now I still like second doubt myself
when I'm clicking all this stuff.
I'm like, yeah, I always click this thing.
It must be right.
I think it's just like with these weird,
like even as a visitor, you see these weird layers of bureaucracy that seem kind of
redundant like even coming in even coming in with like the qr codes on your customs form
it's like there's two different qr codes for different things that are everywhere else would
be just one form that you submit yeah and it's and it's not a big fucking deal it's like the
trains work you get everywhere they're on time it's like it's all of that is submit. And it's not a big fucking deal. It's like the trains work, you get everywhere,
they're on time. All of that
is immaculate. It's like this very minor
complaint of this system that is pretty
fucking good. Japan and user-friendly stuff does not
go hand-in-hand. Everything is not user-friendly
here. A really tiny thing I appreciated,
it's very, very small,
was in the shower,
there is like, okay, so in America,
there's something called a limiter inside your shower where it stops how hot your shower is allowed to go okay?
And but in order to access it you need like a special screwdriver and take it off and go here
It's just a button and you press the button and you can go past to make it hotter
Yeah, but in America you have to like disassemble your shower if you want to make your shower hotter
What the fuck?
A lot of people don't know that that thing even exists
and they think that the water just doesn't get hot enough,
but you can actually open it up and make it. It's for like to protect
elderly people to not burn themselves. But here, you just
press the button. So what's the maximum temperature
American showers can go to normally?
It's depending on what your limiter is set to.
Like when we moved into the house
we used to live in, they were all set to like cold.
And we couldn't figure out why our water was cold,
but our sinks were hot and that was it.
Yeah I just took cold showers for like two weeks and then found out that limiters existed.
I got really good at fixing it because I had to do all the ones in the house.
I bath every day.
You bathe.
I bath.
You're a bath-er.
Well because you can, you can, you can uh, in Japan it's just cold.
Do you have to bend your knees?
What do you mean?
Because you have tiny little baby baths.
No my bath's pretty big. For babies? Yeah I got tiny little baby bath. No, my bath's pretty big.
For babies?
Yeah, I got a pretty big bath.
Little baby bath, okay.
Not for babies.
And the best thing is-
It's not for babies.
Not for babies.
Not for babies, okay.
Okay, and if you say it's for babies, I'm gonna fix that.
And I'm gonna call my mom.
You can reserve the bath, right?
So in my house, I just put the plug in, right?
And then when I'm going to bed, I'm like I want the bath to be ready by
7 like 7 a.m. And it's like you have an iPad for it. It's in my kitchen It's where like the gas controls are and you just click like reserve
You put the time and the bath every single time which you just press the fill button
You can choose the exact temperature and how much you want it filled that is based. I like that and I might move
That's what swings you? The automatic bath?
Dude, you wake up, imagine you're tired as shit,
the perfect bath is made for you every single time and it's there.
Doesn't solve the issue of like the really small baths here though.
Which is what pisses me off.
Look, you fill that shit up with noodles,
every morning wake up, you got ramen ready.
Breakfast and shower done.
You've got like an enormous amount of food. You've got an enormous amount of food.
You're just going to puff the ramen.
When I go to bed, the empty bath is there.
I chuck the ramen in, and when I come in the morning, I'm like, hell.
You're making your Joe Rogan cold tub TikToks,
but you're just like, you get your bowl of ramen after every workout.
I have a I'm a tonkatsu fetish, or I like to imagine I'm tonkatsu,
or I'm a, no, I fucking forgot the word. God damn it. No, tonkatsu fetish or I like to imagine I'm tonkatsu or I'm a I'm a
Fucking frat the word. God damn it. No tonkatsu. You're right. I'm right. Yeah tonkatsu. Oh, yeah, so I get in there I imagine it not the brought the fucking
Chashu I like to imagine I'm chashu
Welcome to episode 83 of the podcast.
I like watching a car crash in slow motion.
Yeah, okay.
Wait, what is this?
Close come offer?
All right.
Do you guys know about this?
That I bought Ludwig a figure from his favorite anime,
Welcome to NHK.
And I just bought- They exist?
Yeah.
No, that's what I said.
I found him this cool, exclusive, Japan's what I said. I found him like this cool exclusive
Japan only figure on eBay I buy it for I think his birthday
And I'm so excited cuz I like I didn't even know this is his favorite anime
I was secretly asking friends questions
What would be a cool gift and it shows up and lovely takes like one look at the box is like you can undress her
I'm like that's And they designed the underside.
A lot of the figures do that.
It's not, it's not.
Yeah, especially the expensive figures.
Normally they do it so either there's a shot of the panty
that's very visible or you can just take the clothes off.
And I, this is a crazy place.
That's the thing I'm feeling right now.
But I love it.
I do love being here.
I feel like you discover something new
like every time you come here.
Like we've lived here for like three and a half years
and we still haven't seen all of the crazy shit
that you go down, that goes down.
I just like public transport.
I'm like addicted.
You're just going on the fucking train.
Have you tried going to like the different types
of vending machines you can get here?
Cause you can get a vending machine
for like almost anything.
Oh, I should have sent you the weird vending machine place
in Akihabara.
They sell like cockroaches and dog food.
Yeah.
Little minerals and crud and coins.
Yeah, and used panties as well.
They sell those as well.
No way.
No fucking way.
At the vending machine?
Who's hitting the vending machine?
Who's contributing?
I don't know. That makes more sense to me. That makes more sense to me.
Because there's probably like a broker
and like, and women
can probably just mail them in. They make it super easy.
They're convenient. But then
somebody at the end of the fucking...
If you shake the machine, you can actually get two to fall out.
Well, here's where the scientists who make the cents
come in, right? So, they've been perfecting the formula.
At the end of the...
How do you verify they're real?
You can't.
How do I not know that Aiden's panties are in there?
It's like there's a little tag on it.
It's like Gore-Tex certified, you know?
It's like...
It's signed.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll see the Jordan logo.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I got the Adidas cute for my fucking used panties
on my phone.
Oh my God.
I don't know. I just know they exist.
I've never tried.
For the record, I've never tried it out myself.
Archie, edit it so he's saying that I did try it. I've never tried. I've never, for the record, I've never tried it out myself. Archie, edit it so he's saying that I did
try it. I've tried that, yes.
Oh, good. I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to
explain the...
The worst bit right now
is this thing that we
we're coming to Japan, and
we're not going home.
Not that we're not going home, but we won't make
it back. We won't make it back because we're
taking back what's ours
with the blunderbusses.
You're coming into this bit real late.
I'm way too white to be a part of this.
That's the thing. You're just white enough.
That's the problem.
It looks bad for optics.
You guys are brand risks.
We're taking it back.
We're not making it home.
We're not making it home, Connor.
I am home. I'm here.
You're our leader.
How do you feel about tri-quarter hats?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
No opinion.
So, what's like...
What's been your favorite thing about Japan so far?
How can we go from that to... I'm sorry. No, we should pivot. So what's been your favorite thing about Japan so far?
How can we go from that to-
I'm sorry, no, we should pivot.
We should pivot, you're right.
I'm just trying to take the heat off of you.
I'm sorry.
If you want to talk about anything, I can't.
7-Eleven, baller.
I wake up every morning, get breakfast, eat a little rice ball.
That's been fucking sick.
Yeah, you have 7-Eleven in America, though, right?
It's different.
Don't say that.
Like you don't know.
It's an American brand.
That's where we go to get slapped in the face.
You know what you guys don't have?
The pill that looks like Dr. Mario's pill
that makes your boner really hard.
We have those by the fucking...
It's not just called Viagra?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It has a rhino on it.
The branding is insane.
It's like holographic pills.
They're like metallic.
That's scary.
And they're huge.
That's scary.
They're bigger than like fish oil pills.
This is real.
Yeah, it's sick.
I don't know about this.
And you can go into like gas stations in 7-Eleven.
Yeah, it's tight as fuck.
And you can take the pill if you can 7-11. Yeah, it's tight as fuck. And you can take
the pill if you can swallow it, if you
are a warrior. If you can fit it.
And then apparently you just have the
coolest boner of all time.
Yeah, you have the rhino of boners.
So when we go in the onsen together.
You're not meant to be hot.
We'll have four
placebo and one rhino
pill.
We'll see who peek and one rhino pill You like wearing tattoos you like man, I think they keep me out of the on center
I'm gonna be popping one off the placebo and just be like I probably took it I probably
and just be like, I probably took it, I probably.
You're an agency that's a coffee shop that's really good to work at and thinks he took it.
He just gets the piece of the puzzle.
He's like, ah.
This is gonna make, okay, this is gonna make my answer
seem even more like, oh, Japan, I wanna live here.
Like, you know, any foreign culture.
Cause I'm, they make fun of me, rightfully so,
because every time I go anywhere, I'm like, I want to live here.
Just anywhere I visit.
Because every place is so interesting, right?
It's like, there's, I don't know.
Have you lived anywhere but America, though?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I'm from Canada originally, and then I.
Oh, bro.
Come on, man. I've never seen it look like that. I'm from Canada originally and then I He's like no I used to live in NorCal so yeah kid it's very for it
I lived in Leeds for you
Started with the lead yeah No comment. No comment. And then I lived in Leeds for a year when I was a kid. Okay. Yeah. So that's-
You should have started with the Leeds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Leeds.
And then, you know, and that's it.
That's it.
That's it for living.
Okay.
And then I-
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Obviously, there's a giant leaf when you don't-
Yeah.
It's like a different language, right?
That's like the biggest one.
I mean, Canadian to America, that's a different language.
Yeah.
Huge jump.
Had to work on it for a while.
Got most of it bullied out of me.
One thing I thought would be a lot more important was before I came Connor was like so because we he was helping
Me get a place that we could record the first episode. Yeah, so the website that played last week
Yeah, and and he was like hey, so it's like customary that when you come here you give a gift
Yeah for the people who are letting use their property sure. Yeah, so I was like, oh fuck
I gotta get I gotta figure out a gift like what's like a good gift. He's like well, you know wines a good gift I was like, oh, fuck, I got to figure out a gift. I'm like, what's a good gift? He's like, well, wine's a good gift.
I'm like, okay, okay.
So I go out, and we bought an expensive bottle of wine in America,
which I then just didn't pack.
I'll drink it when I come out.
It's for you.
And so it'll be my gift to you, because I assume I'm a sin.
And I assume I'm a sin to your mother.
And so I forget it.
I'm like, are we getting here?
I'm like, all right, we have to go get a bottle of wine.
So I asked you, where can I get wine? And you gave me a place. It was kind of far not really far but you had to walk there blah blah and uh and we go and it was
when i'm trying to convey is that it was kind of a hassle and i was like hey but i'm trying to do
this right yeah and then we show up to the house yeah that we're actually recording it and the dude
opens up he's like yo what's? Hey, dabs me up.
I'm like, yo, hey.
And we walk in and it's a bunch of crypto guys.
What the fuck?
And I'm like, I'm like, and they're very nice.
Don't get me wrong.
But I'm like, so I brought you wine.
They're like, dude, fucking tight.
We have a bottle opener.
And they're like, nah, nah.
And I'm like, I'm holding it.
I'm holding a fucking dumb ass.
And I'm like, so here's your. I'm holding a fucking dumbass. And I'm like, so here's your wine.
Here's your traditional Japanese gift.
And I'm like, is Connor pranking me?
Is that a funny joke?
So obviously what happened was
is that you'd asked me
if there's any place that we could film
or you could film the yards in Tokyo.
And I was like, well,
you asked me very late,
which is like really tough in Japan
to film anything anywhere.
It takes weeks to get permission to do anything.
Also, space is really hard to find here as well.
Space is hard to find.
But I knew Alex, and Alex does a lot of stuff with real estate,
and you were just looking for a house.
And obviously, you can't just go into someone's property
and just film something normally, like there is normally.
What?
You just walk into their house and just film.
I know, it's crazy, right?
So I was like, if anyone can get it done, it's Alex.
And I didn't know whose house it was know it's crazy, right? So I was like, if anyone can get it done, it's Alex. And I didn't know whose house it was
that you were renting, right?
Or using.
It was just so funny because we walked in
and it was like the meme of like,
men can actually live like this.
And it's like a TV and a chair.
Yeah.
It was like, don't get me wrong.
Well, you got the perfect kind of people.
Don't get me wrong.
The chair was nice as fuck.
Okay, so.
And the floors were heated.
But they had only what they needed.
And now they have a bottle of wine
that I imagine they'll have to smash open.
So initially you had someone else's house.
Yes.
You initially had a different house.
That was like some, from my understanding,
was an older gentleman who had a dog
and was a bit more, let's say, put together.
It had more furniture.
Yeah, we ended up switching houses.
Had a bottle opener.
Yeah.
And, well, normally, yeah, in Japan,
obviously, there's just a gift-giving culture,
especially if you work with someone
and they let you film for free.
You normally just bring a gift.
Like, that's just what you do.
And I didn't know if you were going to get a stuffy guy.
The gift is my fucking dope-ass rhymes,
I'm going to say.
Well, there you go.
On the roof.
And, yeah, I guess...
What were they doing while you were filming?
Vibing, chilling. Just vib just what did they watch you record?
You gonna get a super straight Japanese dude who's gonna watch you the whole time
Well, we weren't we were on a rooftop and a very nice neighborhood talking about how we're not gonna make it home
And how we're gonna take take back what's ours.
I don't think
the tenants are going to make it home with the crypto prices,
right? They're probably just like, dude, we're going to
make something. Dude, that's why they're living like that, man.
They've had to sell everything. They can't buy any
furniture.
That's just the vote of the up left.
Do you take Bitcoin?
Where's the Sumimasen hamburger machine?
Is that around here?
No, no, it's Dogecoin, so you please can I have food I love American impressions
I think they're the funniest fucking thing on it. I don't know why I think it's like whenever someone does American
They can't not say hamburger. Yeah, but they're always like
Hamburger yeah, there's so many
Or or valley girl accents, it. It's always like a few options.
Right, yeah.
Because you have to do it like a true American act.
You have to sound stupid.
You kind of package it in with sounding dumb.
Do you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think my version of this is doing like a southern impression.
Right, right, right.
It's usually like, ah, I reckon I'm...
Because we all speak slow, too.
Well, you announce everything.
That's a good thing. Yeah, you enunciate everything.
That's a good thing.
Yeah, they say that the Southern accent
is pretty close to British in terms of the way
that they talk, and not the way it sounds.
So you ruined them?
I guess, yeah, we ruined it, because it's more,
if you think about how the whole history went,
obviously the more rich colonial kind of people
stayed in the South, right?
Oh, yeah.
So that kind of speaking comes closer.
I like the Southern accent, though.
Yeah, man, it speaking comes up next under
Y'all
That was great
Like I think that we'll tell him so like what I what I liked about Japan Japan was... The southern accent in Japan, right?
That's an Osaka accent, right?
Thai-British guy lives in Japan doing a southern accent.
That's a thing I didn't think I'd ever see.
I watched this... The point-up category.
There's this mini-doc piece on this guy from China
who just fell in love with Western movies growing up.
And he really loved the cowboy,
sort of live- on the farm,
vagabond lifestyle, right?
And he moved to the US and became a farmer
and built his cowboy life
and has this authentic Texas accent
and just lives alongside other Texas farmers.
And they're like, yeah,
he sounds like he's grown up here his whole life.
And he grew up the first 20 years of his whole life. And he's like,
grew up the first 20 years of his life in China.
That's just sandy cheeks from SpongeBob.
That's literally all that is.
Yeah, I mean, that's cool.
I like it when people are like,
you know what, my country?
It's not for me.
It's not for me.
I'm just going to go somewhere else
and make my own life,
and they fit in.
So we never got to where you wanted to move to.
What's like your tier list
of like the countries you want to move to since everywhere you go to, you want to move there. What's your tier list of the countries you want to move to?
Since everywhere you go to, you want to move there, right?
Because everywhere would be cool, right?
You guys actually did it.
Don't you think there's other places out there
where it would be interesting to forge a new life in?
Oh, for sure. Yeah.
I think there's those versions where it's like
everywhere would be interesting in some capacity,
and then there's the places that I think
would actually long-term work out.
I like Scandinavia a lot.
Right.
I feel like that's a pretty boring answer.
He hates Sweden, even though he's Swedish.
He's allowed.
Who's Swedish?
He's allowed to.
Ludwig.
What?
He's Swedish.
Get over it.
All right.
Pick a nationality.
You're in an onsen, and you shit yourself. Okay. What's up with the shitting? Why are you. You're in an onsen and you shit yourself.
What's up with the shitting?
Why are you shitting yourself in an onsen?
Because you're so relaxed.
No, no, no.
So relaxed.
And by this point, you've made it yours.
It's back.
And you're like,
what is help me in Japanese?
Tasukete.
I'm telling you that. Tasukete. I'm not telling you that.
Tasukete.
I don't want you to burden me.
Tasukete!
And you're just like, ah!
Shouldn't have sold you that.
Everywhere, right?
On the towel.
Why are you obsessed with shitting everywhere?
I'm not obsessed with anything, bro.
I'm just saying that's the worst thing that could happen,
probably, in public.
And I want to know if the Japanese people got my back. Absolutely not. Do Americans have your back if you shit yourself in public and i want to know if the japanese people got my back absolutely not
do americans have your back if you shit yourself in public there's a chance yeah if i've shit my
pants on the train next to aiden and we're in los angeles california he and i'm like help me
stranger he'd be like okay yeah i'll help you that's because i know you like you know it's the
first time you ever see a white guy and he comes in the onsen with you, you're like, I don't be nervous.
And he just starts shitting himself in the onsen.
And that's your only impression of white dudes?
Can you imagine you go home to your wife that night,
and you're like, yeah, Americans just shit in the onsen.
He's going to seem like an insane person all the time.
So he's like, dude, these Americans just keep shitting in the onsen.
They just keep shitting in the onsen.
They talk that amazing.
They're like, yeah, some guys shit themselves on the fucking train.
What's up with that?
I think you'd be on national TV.
I think that would be a war crime for them.
They report on it.
This is why we can lean into it.
Americans don't take public baths
because you shit when you take a bath.
There's so much burger.
That's why you bathe in the comfort of your own home because you take a shit in the bath after work.
That's right.
We do it the way we want.
This could be like our drop bears.
Yeah.
This could be like.
We spread a rumor about our kind.
That is just a total detriment to ourselves.
That doesn't make us impressive or cool, but it makes
us formidable.
I'm just curious why you want to limit test
Japanese people by shitting.
Why are you trying to break
these poor people?
It doesn't have to do with Japanese
people. You can do this test
anywhere.
That's right. You can do this test anywhere.
We just happen to be in Japan.
So think about that.
Have you done this in other places?
Have I done it ever?
No.
Which country do you think it would work the best in?
Yeah, like I would receive the most aid.
Top 10 countries to shit yourself in.
Probably Germany, because they're into it, right?
That is a sweeping, a sweeping assumption.
I'm sorry to all the Germans out there.
Do you have any German fans who watch this?
Probably.
No, that's the thing.
It's like, and they got Vore cafes there everywhere.
No, look, I just, I like to think of the extremes of things that can happen.
And, you know, I don't know, man.
It's crazy out there. I'm not going in an onsen with you.
Are you still not hungry?
You don't want anything?
I am hungry, actually, but I'll do it after.
One hamburger, please.
All right.
I'm never going near you in an onsen.
Yeah.
You got to stay five feet away.
Or train.
Every time I see you in white. Every time I see you in white, I'm never going to the near you in an onsen. Yeah. You got to say five feet away. Or train.
Every time I see you in white, I'm like, yo, red alert.
Something's about to happen.
You start warning people to get off.
I got like the fucking spidey senses.
I'm like, don't sit next to him right now.
Immediately walk into the next car.
It's about to go down.
I want to ask this before
I can never ask it again
but if you
how, okay
aliens come to earth, they're mad
they're pissed, give us your
best anime, give us the
best you got or we will vaporize
this shit, what do you submit to the
aliens to show that we are worth a society
to exist? Attack on Titan. It's easy.
You think so? You think they're basic?
You think an alien's gonna see anime for the first time and be like,
dude, this seems too normie.
Maybe.
You gotta hear that child stuff.
Show them a balloon.
Oh, so the case builds. Look who brings it up.
Connor's like, yeah, you know, I think they'd be in there.
Like you're supplying the alien just once to fucking weed right away.
I do like that.
That's kind of giving him credit, right?
Like you say Attack on Titan, it's like, okay, normie bait.
What do you got?
I don't know.
What are you watching off anime?
Jojo.
I knew you'd say Jojo.
Let's give him Jojo's.
Okay, interesting.
What would you give him? What would you give him?
I think you give him, uh, I mean, King of the Hill.
Why?
Because it's like, it's like, what's Slice of Life called?
Slice of Life.
Slice of Life?
No, no, no, there's a Japanese word for it.
You piece of shit.
No, it is Slice of Life.
No, isn't there like a word? Sl word for it. You piece of shit. No, it's slice of life. No, isn't there like a word?
Slice of life.
Slice of life.
Yeah.
And it's a slice of life.
And I was shown.
It's like asking what the French word for cafe is.
I genuinely thought, no, I thought it was like a genre.
There's different types.
Shonen, that's a Japanese word.
Slice of life is a genre type.
Yeah.
Got it.
It's where like nothing happens.
Right, right, right.
Shonen is the Japanese word for slice of life.
Is that true?
No.
Confirm.
Translator, confirm.
No, it's not.
He says no.
Shonen's a young boy.
Yeah.
No.
Why do you guys have a ninja turtle?
Oh.
Last guest who came on.
Who was an American who gifted us a ninja turtle.
He's like, this is my anime.
He's in the harem between all the big,
tidied anime ladies.
Yeah, he's enjoying his time.
Raphael's living his dream.
Look at these boobs.
We still got like LeBron James over there.
Where's he?
Here, here's LeBron James.
Oh nice, he's chilling.
Where did you grow up?
I grew up in England.
Okay, what part?
Brighton. I mean like part, part, like Zoom out. You know what up in England. Okay, what part?
Brighton.
I mean, like, part, part.
Like, zoom out. You know what?
What do you mean, part, part?
Just zoom out.
You don't know where Brighton is?
South.
Thank you.
Come on.
It's bright.
All the big YouTubers lived there.
That's where PewDiePie lived.
Really?
That's where Jacksepticeye lived.
I mean, I lived there before it was cool, so, you know.
Right, right.
How old are you?
32.
Brother.
Bro.
Bro, are you 30s? Yeah, I'm 32. Fuck yeah, man. God, Brother. Bro. Bro, you 30s?
Yeah, I'm 32.
Fuck yeah, man!
God, yeah.
Yep, yep.
Thanks, God.
Right?
Doesn't it feel good?
Still shitting in South.
Still shitting in South.
25!
25!
Uh, 26, yeah.
Oh, you're 25?
You're 26?
I'm 26.
Oh my God, this sucks.
Wow, you're old!
You're so fucking young.
Yeah, it sucks.
The industry gets, like, it just keeps staying at the same like zone,
and you get older and you're like, fuck, this fucking blows.
Yeah.
But, you know, see, that's the solidarity that 32-year-olds have.
I have demonstrated that I am not a fun person to hang around with,
but given my fascination with pooping,
but Gart was like, my man.
My man.
That's right.
We had to stick together.
You put it all aside.
That's right. For a bit of together. You put it all aside.
For a bit of joy.
I'll allow one public.
We're in there.
What brings people in their early 30s together?
Hypothesizing what could go wrong on the train.
When you turn 40 in Japan,
you have to have a mandatory colonoscopy every year.
Mandatory?
That's so nice.
Why?
Why is it mandatory?
It's just when you get older,
the thought of having something up your ass
gets more appealing.
Wow.
So in Japan-
So it is thoughtful.
Yeah.
So in Japan,
you have to do an annual health checkup
where they literally rank your health,
like they grade it.
Every single part of your health.
For your employer,
you have to do it.
Yeah, for your employer.
For your employer?
They need to know.
Yeah.
And at 40, yeah, you do colonoscopy,
and it's mandatory.
You go in like this conveyor belt kind of thing.
You're in and out.
No, genuinely.
They make you wear a robe.
You go in, 20 minutes, you get like blood pressure.
They take blood injections.
It's probably the one place you would shit yourself
and people would help you.
Yeah.
We've found it.
We've actually found it.
Now we're talking.
It's kind of cool.
And then you get graded afterwards.
They're like, dude, your liver is a B, your blood is a C.
This sounds literally like Ergo Proxy.
Yeah, it is.
But it's kind of hype because it's kind of cool.
Yeah.
Such a niche.
And also, if you have too many employees that are overweight, your company gets taxed more.
No shit.
Wow.
Can I tell you about me and Aiden's dream?
And it's...
Is this the dream?
No, no, no.
Different dream.
We'll make it back.
But before we do...
This is a shit dream?
Hold on, hold on.
I need to...
Shut the fuck up.
Stop talking.
So I'm shitting myself.
Aiden's refusing to help me until I call him cute.
We got off the train.
We started just traveling around in Japan.
And we shit our pants.
I was like, we looked at each other, and Aiden was just like,
give me a fucking briefcase, bro.
And I was like, yeah.
And I was like, we want to become salarymen.
Me and Aiden want to become chain- binge drinking salary men why because it's like
it's like badass it's raw it's like it's like depressing you know how there's the void right
of like death and like the end of your life and stuff this is like a living void and it's kind of
me and aiden for some reason we think it's fucking cool. Yeah, it is that. You're pretty spot on.
It is a void where you're a slave to the company.
Have you not wanted to be salary man?
Absolutely not. If I wanted to sell my soul to a company and just lose a part of my soul every time I wake up, probably yeah.
Why do you guys think it's cool?
Because you have your necktie.
I want to get to my really short lunch break and then just smoke cigarettes instead of eating.
Maybe you were born in the wrong country.
That's what I'm saying.
If you grew up here and you told your parents,
I want to be a salaryman.
I want to live the dream, mom.
Your kids here don't even want to be salarymen.
They get kind of ridiculed, right?
The idea of a salaryman.
No.
That's like the go-to.
Yeah.
That's what you do.
Yeah.
It's real.
We'd be respected.
Right.
We'd be respected.
I was reading about it.
You get like lifetime contracts too.
And it was like,
do you have to drink a lot to be a salaryman?
And this article was like, yes.
And often if you don't outrank your superiors,
you have to drink.
Yeah.
And it's like,
there's just the concept of rank in general.
You have to outdrink your superiors every time.
That's just-
It's becoming less common now.
It is, it happens a lot less, but she's kind of COVID.
COVID kind of killed it all.
So it doesn't happen nearly as much, but it still happens.
Them health scores.
It's hard to maintain if you're drinking a lot.
That's why they have the health scores, man.
Because a lot of people, they die, especially Saturday men.
They die from just overwork.
Overwork, yeah, also like depression.
It's actually very sad.
At 55, and I'll have straight Ds every year
on my health report card.
Yeah, we'll be together forever.
That's what we're going to do.
We're going to be salary men.
Can't nobody pay more tax?
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck them, right?
But also I live and die for them.
I will do anything they say.
Yes,
please.
And that's the dichotomy of us.
I have like,
I have versions of this,
of this life that I imagined in different places.
Like,
like in,
in China,
I'm,
I'm queuing league of legends and eating cup noodles at the PC,
at the PC cafe every day.
And I,
and I'm,
and I'm,
and I'm hard stuck diving too.
And I'm fucking broke.
And you're playing Crossfire on your break,
even though it's like not helping you get to your goal.
Yeah, Crossfire isn't helping me with League,
but it's still, I've got a lot of skins and time put into it.
Yes, sir.
These are all the different dreams I have.
Genuine question.
Do you hate yourself?
Do you know what? That's, that's-
If you fantasize about being a salaryman or playing League,
I'm like, bro, are you good, man?
No, I have a theory.
I have a theory because I had, I had these goals for a long time.
I had goals in my life and I-
And then you started the podcast.
And I kind of, I kind of achieved them and I was like,
well, what do I have now?
Yeah.
The void.
The void.
The salaryman void.
It's inside you.
But if I was a salaryman, I don't have to think about my goals anymore.
I just work for the...
I do understand the appeal of, like, I don't have to think.
I just turn up,. I do my part.
A living void.
And there's a beauty in that.
And we're romanticizing it.
But also part of us, I think we would press that button.
Me and Aiden. Not you guys.
Which button?
I was like, am I shitting myself?
Well, that comes with it.
All salarymen eventually shit their pants on the train.
It's really late.
You guys got back from the bar? You're not making it home. All salary men eventually shit their pants on the train. It's really late.
You guys got back from the bar?
You're not making it home.
So which button are we talking about?
The button to become salary men.
Detroit become salary men.
Okay, okay.
You should check out this Instagram account called Shibuya Meltdown.
Because that's mostly like salary men
who have just like either gotten ridiculously drunk
in Shibuya in public
or some of them maybe just shit themselves.
It's just an Instagram account
of like people who've passed out on the floor.
I saw a picture of that
and it was like in the middle of the street
and I was like, that's haunting in a way.
We saw a guy yesterday.
We were walking through Akihabara.
I sort of got there.
You know where I mean.
But we saw a guy who, he was literally,
like he was, you know those,
they're not fences,
but they're like poles along the side of the sidewalk
in some sections,
and the gap between them is pretty tiny.
And he like fit,
he's fitting himself through them in the middle of a crowd and then just falls but half halfway through the poles
and it's just laying there so his ass is elevated stuck in the fence but his body is hanging out
with his backpack on the ground and like and two people god bless their soul go over to help him up
he couldn't have shit in his pants he didn't have shit and they go near him and he's like
and he's just no no he like worms his way out and then and then just stumbles into the street like
i it is rare to see someone this intoxicated in public and he's just like wobbling back and forth.
Yeah.
Yeah. If you get pretty late at night.
Interesting.
Yeah. It was like, poor guy.
I've seen so many people just literally just fully laid out
on the floor, passed out.
Yeah. Wow.
Because especially because Japan with their salarymen,
they have to work till like late all of the time.
So, I mean, I remember the first time I came to Japan,
I'm like, oh my God, there's like a man with a briefcase
walking at like, running somewhere at 2 a.m.
I was like, that's so cool.
And then I kind of realized, oh wait,
he's still fucking working at 2 a.m.
He's running to a meeting, man.
I was like, okay, that's less romantic,
romanticized for me now.
And we made Japan look pretty bleak this episode, huh?
Yeah, well, hey, I like that because it's like you guys are peeling open the veneer
and going, hey, look, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Also with all the positives.
Every country's fucked up.
I have a question for you guys.
If you, okay, Trash Taste ends.
Uh-oh.
Bye.
Forever.
What do you go back and do?
What do you go do?
I did YouTube before this. No, you can't do YouTube. You can't be on YouTube at all. Bye forever. Okay. What do you go back and do? What do you what do you go do? I wish I did YouTube before
No, they can't do YouTube. You can't be on YouTube at all
You well, yeah, cuz you remember I shit myself
It's always back to the salaryman yeah, I have a
I have a knack for identifying the pulsing core of what makes us human, and it's being a salaryman.
Man, I have no idea what I'd do.
I didn't really plan.
I'm ride or die.
You have like a degree?
Yeah, I have an engineering degree.
Yeah, but it's worthless now.
I don't remember anything from my-
You can catch up, keep up, sorry.
Yeah, I can lie.
Yeah.
I can say I know what I'm doing.
What'd you study?
I studied electronic engineering.
Holy shit. That's a difficult degree. Mine wasn't. I don't know what I'm doing. What'd you study? I studied electronic engineering. Holy shit. I did a difficult degree
What if my mind wasn't I don't know what yours is mechanical
Mechanical is the jack-of-all-trades you learn everything
Currents baby. I'm gonna make a fucking car. He found out everything about your degree in 1971.
And he knows that's true.
This is spoken like someone who knows nothing about it.
Get fucked.
Did you go to college?
Yeah, I studied finance.
That's why you want to be a salaryman.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
I have a creative writing degree,
so mine's more of a lofty romantization. His is more a salaryman. Yeah, right? Yeah. I have a creative writing degree, so mine's more of a lofty romantization.
His is more a true salaryman,
which is cool.
But, yeah.
You guys are cool, man.
You guys are cool.
The thing...
You asked the thing
that I like the best about Japan,
and I was walking around today.
I think it's the architecture.
I just love walking around
and looking at the buildings. I think the UK looks so much better. I think... If the architecture. I just love walking around and looking at the buildings.
I think the UK looks so much better.
If you go to London, you see all this beautiful stones and marble.
You're like, man, that's so cool.
It's all cohesive.
It's cool.
Don't get me wrong.
It's cool that it's all kind of a mess, but it is a mess.
There's no rules on what you can and can't build,
so it's kind of unique.
I kind of like that, though.
But at the same time, it's like,
you might have a house and your neighbor might be
the biggest cunt and just build like the ugliest,
most reflective thing on earth.
And it's just a nuisance.
Have you just noticed Japan's just like
a really aesthetic country.
Like you've been to a lot of countries, right?
And it feels like Japan, especially,
it's just built for taking pictures in different places.
Cause everything has a different vibe.
You go to like Golden Gai-
This is like foreign. I think it's because it's foreign.
Like I don't think to-
If you ask Japanese people, they're like,
what are you- what the fuck are you talking about?
Tokyo looks like shit.
You think so?
Yeah, for sure.
People eventually-
You always take it for granted if you grow up there, right?
Yeah, because they often would like-
You know, you travel around, you see all the other stuff that like Europe has.
You have a lot more history to this stuff a lot of the time.
There's no history to a lot of the buildings in Tokyo.
When they are, they're demolished.
Like the famous capsule hotel that looked fucking sick.
Who was telling me, somebody was telling me
that the average age of a building here
is only like 30 years?
And I was like, that is fucking crazy.
That's because Japan had an economic boom
in the 1980s where-
And earthquakes. Yeah, oh yeah, and earthquakes as well. That's because Japan had an economic boom in the 1980s. And earthquakes.
Yeah, oh yeah.
And earthquakes as well.
Because earthquakes are super bad here.
Oh, okay.
You're lucky you haven't had one while you're here.
There hasn't been one for a while.
You know what's funny?
We were gone.
Oh, no, I was gone.
But there was one in Soka.
A big one in LA for the first.
That was my first big one.
Where the room shook and woke me up.
Kind of like riding a wave.
Yeah.
Weird.
What was the number?
What was the magnitude?
I think it was lower.
It had to be lower than four.
But it was enough to be like, whoa.
But it was the first time I'd ever like, oh, it's happening.
Which was kind of a jarring feeling.
Is there any, because I feel like the last big, big one was the nuclear disaster as well, right?
Is that the last huge one?
That's the last one that caused a lot of damage.
There's been a few, they've had really bad landslides
and flooding in some areas.
Japan just can't get a break
when it comes to natural disasters.
It's pretty fucking bad all around.
I mean, I think people here are just used to it.
Even, I've been in an earthquake
where it shut off my entire power grid from my block,
which was really, really weird. And it didn't even feel that powerful honestly it's it's it like you know when
when you're in an earthquake since you experience so much here you can't it's weird to say you kind
of get used to it you're used to it yeah they're that common yeah it depends like there's there's
there hasn't been one for ages actually no when i when we first moved here man it was like every
week that was one. That's crazy.
I didn't know it was that common.
I guess it just comes and goes
depending on how, I don't know,
I'm not a fucking geologist.
It's the plates.
Is it worse because there's not a lot of regulation
around how the buildings are built?
No, there's a shit ton.
There is a lot, yeah.
And they're constantly updated.
So that's why older buildings
need to be torn down a lot of the time
because they need to be future-proof
with new technology and stuff.
If you're in a new building,
you're pretty earthquake safe here in Japan
just because they get so much.
But if you're in like an old creaky wooden building,
that's probably not been regulated.
You have something to worry about.
We get an old creaky wood building
and every day we could be pulled into the void.
We could be.
And we're taking the risk
and we soak it with cigarette smoke.
Over and over.
This is a depressing life that you seek.
No, we're excited about it.
You're being a fucking asshole right now.
You're being a fucking asshole.
You're cool.
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
I think what I like the most, what I've been enjoying,
and this isn't like a Japan-specific or Tokyo- thing, but like it's just such a vast place.
It's like insane.
Like you will travel like five miles and it's still just like giant buildings with a shitload of people.
And I just really, really enjoy being around a lot of people that I don't know.
I don't know why.
It's like being in crowds and the sheer volume.
This is the mega city of that, man.
It's insane.
You'll never be able to escape a crowd.
I like it.
It's very cool.
One of the cool things is the city feels,
like when you just walk through it,
the city feels infinite.
It's hard to get a mental map going
of where you are and how to find things
because it's not like Melbourne.
It's not on a grid.
And everybody knows about the grid.
That's right.
Love that grid. And I knows about the grid. That's right. Love that grid.
And I think that
feeling of it being infinite
is so rare. Like, I think
there are so few cities that capture
the void, if you will.
And you're just a cog in the void.
Yeah, and our necktie
is kind of off.
It's a little loose.
And we're smoking.
Because I got back late last night and I couldn't wash it.
I couldn't wash it. I covered it up.
We've become a salary man.
It's a weird obsession.
No, it's not weird.
You're being weird.
You don't get it, bro.
You've got to spend a little more time in Nippon.
I've got to ask.
Americans, how does it feel walking everywhere?
I love it.
Honestly, I love it.
Unironically, the public transportation is so sick.
I feel the same way as Nick does.
It's just efficient, and you can exercise
without having to set time apart.
I wish it was like this in LA.
LA's a fucking miserable place for traveling.
I think one thing I noticed about LA is that
you can really get stir crazy in your own house
just because you have to drive.
When we stayed in LA, we had to drive
to get to coffee sometimes.
We would reach for coffee.
That's normal.
It's so annoying to drive to get a fucking coffee.
Yeah, it's a pain.
Everywhere I've lived in LA, that's been the case.
You have to drive pretty much to where you want to go
unless you want to walk like,
I'm pretty far
Distance right. Yeah, just okay. I think this is this is closer to my my actual idealized life
I was talking about about this with a friend recently is like my non my non salaryman dream like my actual life that I want
You're your ideal life. Yeah, actually, actually you're gonna hate Japan cause solo queue here fucking sucks
Oh, yeah, ass man. Really? Holy shit. Okay, I'm gonna hate Japan, cause solo queue here fucking sucks. It sucks ass, man.
Holy shit, okay?
I'm gonna break your dream right now.
It is literally the worst server you can get in the world.
No, say it's true, wake up!
Yeah, I stopped playing League totally
the moment I started playing on the server.
I was like, yo, this shit is fucking so bad.
Don't break the romanticized painting
I have for myself in my head.
The only game that I think is good to play here
or like alone or like a multiplayer game
is like Apex because it's huge here.
Yeah, I've heard of Apex.
You go on League of Legends
and you have like a Chinese guy shouting at you
and then you have another guy from like Korea
calling you a piece of shit.
And then, you know, you play Valorant
and you hear like a Chinese guy on the mic screaming
and you're like, what the fuck?
He can't get a break.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
And then they're just stopping all the other Asian countries
stopping racist to each other over the voice comms
in English.
And the guy from Wales has to be like, everyone chill out.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
The one language you won't hear on Japanese servers
here is Japanese.
You never fucking hear Japanese. If you't hear on Japanese servers here is Japanese. You never fucking hear Japanese. Because if you speak Japanese on Japanese servers,
it's the one way to get camped or fucking like toxic,
but like bullied out your way.
That's crazy.
Why?
Apex is good.
Apex is great.
It's huge here.
Also it's just one, it's a battle royale, right?
So you're not teaming with anyone.
People do not voice chat here as well.
Like it's extremely uncommon for people to have open mic.
Salaryman father's upstairs.
Cause they don't want to.
They don't want to wake up.
They don't want to wake dad up.
They don't want to fucking talk.
Dad had a tough day at work.
Smoking?
Dad, I wake dad up, he's one day closer to the void.
Like, you know how like if you played,
I don't know, no one does now,
but if you played Overwatch thing, right?
You'd get to the higher ranks.
And I assume it's the same for Valorant as well.
The higher rank you go, the more likely people are to be on voice chat.
Just not like that at all.
Interesting.
Nobody voice chats.
It's weird.
Sorry to break your dream.
No, that's okay.
That's okay.
This is good for me.
This is good for me.
My rose-tinted glasses just getting massive cracks in them right now.
You can walk to a coffee.
So you can,
that's,
that's my dream.
That's my actual dream.
Okay.
Walking,
walking to everything I need every day is that that's my actual dream.
It can also be achieved in like New York city.
Exactly.
It doesn't have to do,
that doesn't have to do with Japan.
That doesn't have to do with any particular place.
I just,
I,
I hate getting in the car to go do basic shit.
Yeah. Yeah.
So is out of everything that you have to tear in terms of your perfect I just, I hate getting in the car to go do basic shit. Yeah.
So is out of everything that you have to tear in terms of your perfect living conditions,
is that at the top?
Yeah.
Okay. What else?
What else?
What's your perfect lifestyle?
What's important?
Food, food and PC, man.
You know, I, I, you're like, I want way you go in the world you're like
I want a nipter
this is
this is what I was
telling my friend
this is what I was
telling my friend
when we were
talking about this
because we were
we had a similar dream
and I was like
but my dream
is after my
after I work
on my laptop
at some undisclosed
location
and I get my coffee
I go home
and I play
Counter Strike
yeah
he's a simple guy I'm a simple guy and that's why that coffee. I go home and I play counter-strike. Yeah
That's why I didn't join in when when Nick was talking about the way the crypto bros lived because it's like that's me That's me on the inside
All these all the ETH and the dogecoin and the lack of furniture. That's that's me
So this podcast our podcast has been me slowly revealing to Aiden,
who is seven years younger than me,
that he is actually as broken as I am.
Yeah, and everything about him is who I'm going to become,
including this.
It's all going.
Imagine that.
You're indoctrinating him.
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
Oh, Jesus.
We'll blur that.
We'll blur that in this episode.
That's actually not allowed in Japan either.
I took off my hat and Connor freaked out.
He clutched his pearls.
You are what I fear.
Yeah, well, get going on the pro-peish.
It'll help you.
If you want to.
There's no shame.
I'm just taking those rhino things right now.
Yeah?
The rhino pills for your boner?
No, I thought they were hair.
Oh.
Take the other ones too.
Oh, shit, okay.
You could take, maybe if you take enough of them, they'll help with the hair.
They'll travel up the bloodstream.
Like when you drink the Monster,
and it's like, we have 20,000% of your daily vitamin D18.
I don't like that.
I don't know what that is, but I hope I need 20,000% of it.
I'm getting it.
Should never be that much.
I don't care what it is.
It is always like 2,000%.
It is concerning how much more than your daily percentage of...
You can stack it.
You stack it for the year.
You drink your one annual Monster,
you actually don't need any more vitamin D.
Yeah, everyone knows that science.
Cavemen quaking.
No, thanks, guys.
It was really nice of you.
You helped us out with our episode.
Oh, yeah, man.
This studio is great.
You guys are...
I like how we just go like,
all branding everywhere, even though it's going on your channel.
Check out Trash T. They know. They know already. They know. They know.
Oh, our episode with Connor just hit a million views. It's our highest viewed episode.
Fuck yeah. Hell yeah.
Which is crazy. Represent, man.
Couldn't have done it ourselves. We needed big bros.
We needed more Jimmy couldn't, all right?
Yeah, right? Isn't that crazy?
It solved blindness, but could he get a million views? I was saying that when we were there. I was like Jimmy didn't have what it takes
Yeah, you don't have what it might see this would be actually
Nah, he's this is the bait together. Come back. What are they not marketing properly?
Cuz I genuinely when I saw the episode I did think like yeah
It didn't look like you actually had him on like like you were talking about him. Interesting. And then you had him on, I was like, wow.
Yeah.
Nick made the thumbnail and the title, so.
Maybe she cured blindness.
He did cure it. No, if you cleared
blindness, it would have got a million views. Maybe.
Not if on the podcast. Not if
Aiden did it. Alright.
Thanks, guys. We'll catch you later. There's
going to be a Patreon episode later on. These guys
will not be on it, because we'll be shooting it probably back home.
But thanks so much.
Thank you guys a lot.
Thanks for having us on.
Of course.
On our own set.
On your set.
On your set after you took us out to dinner,
helped us find a bunch of stuff,
helped us find a set for the other episode.
Bring it up more.
Why don't you?
You show us a little thumb or something.
We'll call, we'll call in LA. Next time in LA. We'll drive, we'll drive. We'll call.
We'll call in LA.
We'll drive.
We'll drive.
We'll be in touch.