The Yard - Ep. 85 - We Ranked Every Guy in the World

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

This week, the boys make a tier list! The boys separate different guys you can find into different tiers, such as 'the crypto guy', 'the contrarian' and 'the elon fan'....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 What, dude? What? What are you laughing about? What are you shushing about, man? Just a man! Just shushing again, I don't care. I was telling Aiden about a story from my childhood.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Oh, the one where you... I won't spoil it. You won't spoil it? I think we could spoil it. He said, quote, I turned my friend's head into bread dough with that cinder block. That must have been like the middle of the story. Surely he didn't open it that way.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I was eight years old. Okay. And I killed another kid on the playground. I'm surprised you could lift up the cinder block. What'd you say? I'm surprised you could lift up the cinder block at eight. Why would you be so insulting to me as my friend? Your eight year old body?
Starting point is 00:01:00 Yeah. I feel like that's rude. Either of you guys want a fruit snack? Yes. A fruit snack? Yeah. No. Okay. Do guys want a fruit snack? A fruit snack? No Okay, do you want a fruit snack? Okay, really quick Oh, you want to Okay, he didn't try, my throw wasn't good, but he didn't try
Starting point is 00:01:12 You didn't try either, that throw was No, I think there's no way, it's like Go again, welcome back to the yard everybody Run it, run it, run it Arshi, make this look like first try I don't know, that doesn't make sense Oh! He's not moving his sense he's not moving his head he's not moving his head
Starting point is 00:01:27 that's actually insane you're not a basketball hoop you're a hunter in this journey and that's a problem it's like you don't care about succeeding at tasks it's caught in my folds why is Ludwig not here?
Starting point is 00:01:39 you guys you guys might be wondering why there's a curb sitting right here or for the the super fans they might be asking why Schlatt isn't here. Yeah, so let's break it down. Let's tell you guys what happened. Basically, we tried to take it back.
Starting point is 00:01:55 And this time... And Ludwig didn't make it. They said guns are legal in Texas. This time, we couldn't take it back, and we are not allowed to try anymore. Ludwig looked our Delta co-pilot in the eyes and said, why can't I open carry on this plane? And so he's in custody. So what happened was that we were going to go to Austin, Texas to do an episode with Jay Schlatt and Ludwig. Long overdue.
Starting point is 00:02:21 We're actually only going to Texas because Ludwig is in Texas. Yeah. And we have to record this show and we don't like to skip. So we were like, let's just go to Texas. Yeah. And the bonus is that Schlatt lives there. Yeah. It was like, it all worked.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Which is who we've wanted to have. Yeah. We've wanted him on for a while. And it hinged on the idea that our flight would take off from Los Angeles and land in Austin, Texas. Neither of these things happened. No, no. we just show well first of all put y'all on game really quick lax delta terminal has juvie yes it does and don't burn
Starting point is 00:02:52 this method because i don't know how long it's going to be hot yeah that i mean it probably already is that's what i'm saying i was so shocked a case i was so shocked because we're in the delta terminal and i'm like, I got there. So I didn't bring my ID to the airport, which I thought was GG. Yeah, that was bad. I thought when you do that, you, they just go, you will, you can't fly. I don't know who you are, but they just like call the government and they go, they like, they go like me and then look at you and they go, well, what's your name?
Starting point is 00:03:18 Can you tell, you tell them? And they're like, what's your phone number? And then after like those, like three of those, they go, all right, you can go. And, uh, the Google authenticator code. Yeah. yeah yep they send you like the code and there's literally nothing else i just went i just got on a plane with no id now that's pretty cool well i didn't go i got into the airport that's step one to taking it back is not having a paper trail do not bring your id instead give them all of your other information. No, give them verbal information. Because you know what's probably happened on the other side of that call?
Starting point is 00:03:48 They were like, we don't know. We can't prove it. I could have said I was fucking Bill Clinton. The FBI agent on the other side of the phone call is just, he's looking at his co-worker going. I love like, they told me specifically, they're like, so keep your phone in your pocket so we know that you don't cheat. And I was like, oh man, they're going to ask me some fucking questions. And then it was like, what is your phone number? If you're someone heisting the airport like this,
Starting point is 00:04:12 surely you memorized that stuff. I'm going to check my phone to see that one. Imagine doing all this to get juvie. That's what I was thinking. Knowing it's the only place that sells it in store. Buying the last Delta ticket of the day just so you can get into Terminal 3 to buy a juvie. So I get in. I get in.
Starting point is 00:04:31 And I need a notebook because I had something I had to write down on this flight. I wanted to use this flight productively. I needed paper to do that thing. And I was like, Slime, you are already past the gate. I don't know if I'm going to make it. But can you look for a notebook for me in the Delta Terminal so I can write stuff and he was like got it and i show up and no one's got a notebook and i'm like were there none he's like there's none i'm like that's crazy there's not like a single piece of paper device of kinds anywhere and then i wander myself bro then i wander myself
Starting point is 00:04:56 and i find a fridge of juvie yeah well it was in the gamer lounge right it was in the gamer lounge because there's like this gamer like place where you can sit and play fortnite it's exactly like the ones in the mall it's like it's like they only have console games and you got pcs in there they got they got there's two pcs two guys playing valor in the corner okay i saw that's pretty tight actually did you really yeah i i didn't see it and i gave it a look but yeah and nade was behind the counter just fucking chilling out him encouraged i went in and I went in and I was like, I don't know why I asked it this way. I said, can I buy a juvie? I said it like, am I allowed to buy? I meant like, am I allowed to buy things here?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Am I allowed to purchase this rare collectible? The guy was so pumped. He's like, you absolutely can. Wow. I'm like, is it not popular here? Has no one put on game yet? Am I the first? I do wonder what the agreement was.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I wonder if Nade delivers it himself. It is good. He shows up in one of Ludwig's milk trucks and just fucking delivers the juvie himself with a baseball cap. So apparently we're one of many flights that got canceled to Austin that day because everyone was so fucking mad. Yeah, it was crazy. It was like, so we were just sitting there and they're it's delayed and we're like okay and then they announced the terminal
Starting point is 00:06:07 like an hour later like okay so we need a co-pilot one is not showing up slime stood up and he went i'll do it yeah i gotta go last like when like two people were like i had a couple laughs from the terminal and then the dude at the desk was like, well, you're Italian. You clearly are capable of doing this. You're not capable of flying anything. Which is in the Delta terms of service that Italians cannot be pilots. That's why they changed terminals
Starting point is 00:06:32 because the old one had a Sbarro in it. Yeah. And it fucked up the vibe. It fucked up the vibe. No one was down with it. Yeah, people got weird about it. So now we're here
Starting point is 00:06:38 and not in Texas. In the airport, listen, I pissed myself. What? Wait, what? I pissed all over my pants. What? I pissed all over my pants. What? I pissed all over my underwear.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I told you this. How did I not notice this? Did I tell the hippers? I basically, I peed in the urinal like a normal guy. Was it like the backboard or was it like you pissed? And then so I thought I was done pissing, but the sensation of my wiener and the pee coming out. Are you numb?
Starting point is 00:07:03 Did you numb up? It like didn't work. Yeah. Yeah. And I put my wiener back in my boxer briefs. Back in the wiener and the pee coming out. Are you numb? Did you numb up? It like didn't work. Yeah. And I put my wiener back in my boxer briefs. Back in the wiener place. And they just soak. Yeah. And I, because we're only literally going for a day, I have a backpack only full of
Starting point is 00:07:15 clothes and one pair of extra boxer briefs. So I get it and I have to like change in the bathroom and have my pissy piss underwear in my bag. You didn't throw them away there i literally just bought like a whole pack and it's just i love that that's right how come how come when maybe water does this too how come when you pee yourself a little bit but you just like kind of deal with it because maybe you're like at costco or something like it always gets itchy on your leg you You ever feel that? That just happens when you get wet.
Starting point is 00:07:46 That's just wet. Is that what it is? I thought maybe my pee made me itchy. It's like why babies get rashes. Okay, well, thanks for not making fun of me. I said that in confidence. You can have baby powder and you powder your dick and then it doesn't get a rash.
Starting point is 00:07:57 That's why he powdered. That's what the powder room's for. That's what the powder room is for, for women. For their penises. Yeah, because it's harder for them. They have weaker muscles. rooms for that's what the powder room is for for women for their penises and their vaginas they have weaker muscles and it's harder for them to control the stream that's right so they go to the powder room and they squirt and squirt as they don't squirt as p and they squirt and squirt is p if you squirt thyself my family do you get itchy the same way as guys get itchy the powder room is so you don't chafe from
Starting point is 00:08:29 the squirt do you think any woman do you think any woman to her friends has ever been like yeah i gotta go take a squirt yes definitely that's definitely happened like as like a crass like way of saying like she resembles like she i can i can see her actually i can see her Like as like a crass Like way of saying Yes Like She resembles Like she I can see her actually I can see her She looks like
Starting point is 00:08:49 Amanda Bynes in 2009 What? What? I just see it Okay yeah That's who's saying it Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 00:08:55 And she's like Hey sorry Sorry sluts What's going on bitch I'm gonna go I'm gonna I'm gonna go I'm gonna have a
Starting point is 00:09:04 Fucking squirt Yeah I'm gonna go have a fucking squirt I'm gonna have to go fucking squirt she looks exactly like this I think feminism is beautiful dude 2009
Starting point is 00:09:12 Amanda Bynes is a good a pretty good rap name yeah that is pretty good it just rhymes well
Starting point is 00:09:17 okay also Ludwig's in Texas yeah Ludwig's in Texas we gave up we were already kind of like damn we're going to Texas for a day. We had one
Starting point is 00:09:26 reasonable option, which was there was two flights later, but we couldn't get our bag back fast enough and the terminal layout of LAX is all fucked up, so we couldn't get on the last flight. The line to get our bag back that we checked, because it has all our podcast equipment in it, was maybe like an hour and a half long. It was crazy. Just to
Starting point is 00:09:41 leave and get the bag back. Yeah, it was crazy. crazy we were just fucked at every turn it was just such a miserable shit experience and i pissed all over myself and that was also that i pissed all yes i did that and so yeah and here we are and i and i ate the shittiest dinner imaginable because of this pescatarian deal oh yeah we're still all on it except nick dude except me i broke yeah i want it it kind of sucked the reason i broke actually kind of fucking sucks because i was just like i was just like sitting there and like i was doing so it was so easy like i was not having trouble with this at all i just had a really fucking bad
Starting point is 00:10:19 day i was stressed out about something and my girlfriend's like hey you want to get breakfast i'm like yeah sure we she orders the food for me we get in the car we're already halfway there and then after halfway she's like oh oh what i got you has bacon in it and i'm like i don't fucking care i just i just don't want to think anymore that's right i don't want to think anymore that's because you're weak yeah i have to accept that i have to tiny little i have to accept that. You're a tiny little baby bear. I have to accept this from you, but understand this was an easy challenge. You are a six-inch figurine made of glass. Surrounded by cum, yeah. Surrounded by cum and also other figurines.
Starting point is 00:10:53 And I wouldn't even do cum on your figurine. That's how much I don't... I'm full of cum. You don't have to cum on the figurine. It's already full of cum. Yeah, but full of it is not inside of it. I'd add mine. Normally, I'd toss my hat in the rain. Normally, if I saw a jar in the figurine, I'd cum in it. It's not inside of it. I'd add mine. Normally, I'd toss my hat
Starting point is 00:11:05 in the rain. Normally, if I saw a jar on the figurine, I'd come in it because I'm polite and I understand culture.
Starting point is 00:11:12 The point being, this has been a shit week. We don't have Ludwig. Our flight got canceled. The fucking office is leaking. We lost power at the office
Starting point is 00:11:20 for three days. I miss Ludwig. Ludwig's car got stolen uh and uh yeah just just fucking sucks it's crazy that whole of bts fucking and bts went up in flames k-pop group not the k-pop group all nine of them are still strong in the military if i if i if i don't specify that like a girl will kill herself someone someone who's nine and believes me will kill themselves bts source the yard podcast bts
Starting point is 00:11:53 has broken up yeah bts bts is going down and is now is no is going defunct yeah but it's just it's sad because the uh for those who don't know the company we used to work at beyond the summit all of us except loweig uh used to work there at this uh production studio that puts on mostly like esports events and things we have a lot of close friends that work there and unfortunately after over a decade there uh they have to shut down that long yeah yeah that's crazy bro i was watching bts uh streams on my phone working night audit at a hotel job in college watching chinese dota games because they were the only studio that would cover it um and i was just like this is that's great this is great it was like this because i really was into dota it was just part of my like routine
Starting point is 00:12:37 part of the culture it was like they copied home story cup to make the summit which is an event we ended up all producing and like working on and then uh yeah so it's like these 10 years of fucking literally just like dude ld is like we you know you know this is echoed because everyone says the same thing and no one like debates this no one's not like ld is actually kind of lazy like ld when we worked there it was like you message him on slack literally any time of the day he's just fucking like yeah what's up what do you need what's up like he was he was a disgusting workaholic of a man he's very very hard worker and very kind and empathetic and i think i think for for all of us like this i don't know this place was like really important and like
Starting point is 00:13:22 i think shaping who i am is like a as a professional as like yeah it dude ludwig's fucking big break the roast of hugo gonzalez bts fueled who produced that shit yeah that's right yep and we fought oh that was such a god i was i was stressed i was so stressed i was bleeding out of my nose and like i went to the doctor and they were like you're just really stressed everything's fine and I was cause of that event cause I wanted it to go well it was fucking crazy bro rest in peace
Starting point is 00:13:51 much love hood love a lot of hood love and hood comfort I think I think maybe you know what I'm saying yeah I know about the hood comfort man I know about the hood comfort I just want to make sure that you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know about the hood comfort, man. I know about the hood comfort. I just want to make sure that you know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:14:08 It's the fourth tier on a Delta plane. Hood comfort plus. Economy. Hood comfort. It's actually the tallest. Hood comfort is you sit in the back aisle right after somebody took a shit in the bathroom. after somebody took a shit in the bathroom on the off chance like i i think we're we're kind of lucky to have a a big platform and a lot of people that listen that like work in the esports or like production industry if you're looking for talented people to hire uh bts release like a full contact
Starting point is 00:14:41 sheet of like all the employees that uh if you listen to the yard podcast and have any skills or power yeah which i'm talking to a few which we're talking about tweak talking basically seven tweak if you need a whole ass production team it's like tweaking magi those are the two ccnc those are the three pillars of gaming that listen to our podcast. Yeah. And we value that. I hear some of them fools. Wait, what was I going to say about fucking ass this and that? Fucking...
Starting point is 00:15:13 Yeah, you're going to talk about Metal Gear, man. Just do it. You're going to make a Metal Gear reference? Yeah, Final Fantasy IX was really touching because the... This is like Metal Gear when... Don't fucking patronize me. Don't fucking act like you know my culture you're being an asshole i literally want to hear it right now
Starting point is 00:15:31 i'm gonna make the intro to this episode the video i took in your car on the way to the airport oh that's so rude that's so fucking you know how you know how sometimes when you get into your car and it auto plays your music, but it doesn't use Spotify. It just goes directly to iTunes. And you haven't used iTunes in a very long time. That happened with him, with me, which is bad. Because when your homie's in the car when that happens, the source does not matter. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:15:57 They go, damn bro, you fucking pumping Macklemore these days? And you're like, bro, it was funny. And the... What plays is extremely funny given the context of a lot of things we get in the car and insta frame one the soundtrack to the social network is playing and i look at it and i look at him and he goes don't and my phone's coming out in slow motion didn't i was just like trentznor make the soundtrack to the movie? Yeah, he's really talented.
Starting point is 00:16:26 And you like Trent Reznor. Of course I like Trent Reznor. But you don't like Aaron Sorkin. I don't like Aaron Sorkin. So how do those... How do I deal with that? I just listened to the soundtrack.
Starting point is 00:16:37 It was easy. That is easy, actually. And then when you said it was your favorite movie, I stood tall against you. And I said, no. I said, it's wrong. I said, you're... It's my favorite movie because I stood tall against you. And I said no. I said it's wrong. It's my favorite movie because Trent Reznor is my favorite composer.
Starting point is 00:16:49 If you would have said that, I would have been like, fuck, I can't say anything. It would have changed everything. I would have been nice to you for like six years. Yeah, it was crazy because I didn't say either of those things. That's the crazy part. I didn't say it was my favorite movie either. You literally cited it as... I was trying to connect
Starting point is 00:17:06 with Aiden and he brings up the social network. What the fuck is your problem? Guy who's the social network's favorite movie is a guy. That is a guy. Speaking of guys, we have a concept for this episode. That is a guy, yes. We have a concept because we wanted to make it a little more special because it's Ludwig. My inspiration
Starting point is 00:17:21 is like Ludwig's not going to be here. We should all just be YouTubers for a day. What would CW do? What would Chuckle Sandwich do? Not CW, CW. Ludwig's gone. My inspiration, you know, is like, Ludwig's not going to be here. We should all just be YouTubers for a day. It's like, you know, what would CW do? What would Chuckle Sandwich do? Not CW, CW. CW and Chuckle Sandwich. Chuckle Week, maybe. What would CW do? It would make a superhero series.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Yeah, what would Chuckle Sandwich do? It's a tier list episode. We're doing it. I think this is good. The reason why we're doing this is because I was doing a mixture of things. One, laying up late at night. But two, also watching Gifted Hater on YouTube. Shout out Gifted Hater.
Starting point is 00:17:50 And I just thought, how funny would it be if we just ranked every guy? Yes. That was how it started. I was like, we should just rank every guy ever of all time. Every guy ranked. So it's basically, we basically wrote every single guy. I hit up them and I said, we're going to rank every guy tomorrow. Send me a list of all the guys you can think of.
Starting point is 00:18:09 You got something to say about guys? Look, I just thought. I feel like you're trying to talk about guys. I just try to talk about guys and dudes and every. Honestly, it's kind of hard to think of dudes like ones that everyone would know and everyone would be related, relatable to. But I think we have like over 90 dudes. Really? Yeah, types of dudes. Nick approached us and he tasked
Starting point is 00:18:31 us with coming up with guys. And what we're going to do is we're going to rank all of the guys ever. That you'll ever meet. So here are our tiers. This is from top to bottom. The homie. So first of all, that's the pinnacle. It's like if he's the homie, it's like, you know, full invite to all hangouts.
Starting point is 00:18:50 It's would recommend to hang out with other friends, provides value to your life. That's the homie. He's in the call and you're like, oh, yes. This is the equivalent of S tier. Yeah. This is an S tier dude that you meet. Under that, we have kind of based, which is like, yeah, they're kind of based which is like yeah they're kind of based it's like it's kind of based like maybe not for absolutely everyone but i love it yeah it's
Starting point is 00:19:12 like i'm i'm with it and it's like maybe all your friends aren't down with this guy but like i think it's kind of based and most people want them around yeah most people like like a generally warm reception now we have the harmless, which is basically our neutral category. It's kind of like, that's just a dude that exists. Yeah. It's fine. I might even hang out with him. Yeah, you would.
Starting point is 00:19:35 You would. You would. Harmless people are homies to you. Yeah, yeah. Like, you are apeshit for harmless. Yeah. Because they're great people. And this brings me to a secret rule that I didn't tell you guys about, Like you are, you are apeshit for harmless. Yeah. Because they're great people.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And this is going, and this brings me to a secret rule that I didn't tell you guys about that I'm going to tell you for the first time now. All of us get our one, one time. Our one, one time. If we cannot agree. To place them. On where someone goes, then you get to use your one time. Out of 93 guys. And if someone else uses their one time and it cancels out your one time
Starting point is 00:20:05 and the third person decides yeah okay okay uh and so if you cancel out someone's one time with your one time you don't get another one why don't we have like three one times it's called a one time i can explain in no other way but if we had three that it's like there's so many guys then you want a three time oh you want a three time you want to use your one time three times you want to use your three i still call it a to use your Three time I still call it a one time This is the guy This is actually The type of guy
Starting point is 00:20:28 Who wants multiple One times I want to I want to call it A one time And have three of them Does that make sense No
Starting point is 00:20:36 I don't think I'm being Unreasonable No we have to get to A point where we agree Except for one time each God that's so annoying Okay fine The next one is
Starting point is 00:20:44 Kind of cringe Kind of cringe These The next one is kind of cringe. Kind of cringe. These are dudes that are kind of cringe. Yeah, but they're okay. I still think... Why do you like everyone? This is going to suck. You are a guy.
Starting point is 00:20:51 You're going to make this suck because you're a guy. Fuck, is he on the list? Yeah, he's on the list. He is? The guy that thinks everything is chill always? Fuck you. You know, it's just that the kind of cringe people is like... You know, maybe you still hang out with them.
Starting point is 00:21:04 All right, you say that... Well them Now I'm thinking of all the people Aiden has brought around Oh come on I know exactly who I'm thinking about Right now The next category is The whack playlist This is gonna be just a
Starting point is 00:21:21 Very specific pool of people I imagine who make the whack playlist These are Absolutely not the homie Not the homie But they are not like They are not ruining The world
Starting point is 00:21:32 So hard that they should be Incarcerated maybe Yeah They need somebody though They need somebody To spend time with This is crazy Are you just arguing
Starting point is 00:21:40 For why you would Like all these people Regardless He's like Where do I land on this Where do I land on this? Where would I end up if I wasn't in the room? Yeah, next is jail and last is death penalty.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah. Self-explanatory. So that's, I think these tiers are great. So that's seven tiers with a dead middle, which is kind of cringe actually, but. It is funny that there are more, there are actually more negative tiers than positive tiers. Because I think that there are actually more negative dudes than positive dudes. I would argue, yeah. I mean, we, we like none of them are my homie jesus christ i everyone has something to value that that's so funny because he does have six million friends you know what i'm saying it's crazy aiden's like a glass hat full type guy but also you can't have
Starting point is 00:22:21 any of what he had yeah yeah and if you do have some he will venmo request you for what you yeah he's like just split it just split it with me like i paid 20 bucks for this drink so like you're gonna give me like five yeah just give me like five bucks it's fine if we counted the glass if we counted all the liquid yeah just give me five give me five all right look let's get started we have a very long list to get through and i i want to get through yeah all right so yeah just. Yeah. All right. So yeah, just grab one. All right. Poker player. So I imagine this person to be like, this is like the person who is always talking about poker and explains the world through the lens of poker.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah. I also, I think that a lot of people, unless you like play a lot, you probably won't quite understand the cultural aspect of poker players. But I think it has always been my take that they are the most culturally bankrupt they're like they're they're insanely lame like they they they do nothing they watch nothing if they like things they like like shit music shit media uh they like say the same four catchphrases all their life they're degenerate gamblers that think that they're not have you ever seen like those videos on YouTube that are like what English sounds like to non-english
Starting point is 00:23:27 Speakers yeah, that's how I feel around poker players because they're like so he goes in to deuce pre-flop And I'm like I'm listening. I'm like. I don't know what you're saying, and I understand poker I don't play poker, and I don't know what you're saying the turn yeah, and I'm on the button so certain So certainly a poker player is not someone that I'm dying to have around. I personally don't have a problem with them. Well, I would say
Starting point is 00:23:52 you are a poker player, by the way. Yeah. But I guess it's like, yes, you're right. I ultimately find them to be harmless. This is you when you're with Miles. Oh, God. Miles is really funny. When they talk about poker, I'm just like,
Starting point is 00:24:06 all right, I'm in the cutscene. I'm going to wait. This is me, you, and Miles walking through Melbourne while you two just ramble about games you've played. It's because it's like trading war stories, bro.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Yeah. It's so money. But that's why I think it's harmless. I think it's harmless. This is harmless. You know what? So this is a crossroads for me for the rest of this tier list. And you're using your one time.
Starting point is 00:24:28 No, no, no. What I'm saying is like, harmless is probably better than kind of cringe, which is where I would usually put them. Which means I have to broaden my idea of harmless and be less of a cunt. Or we majority rules rules unless you one time i put him into harmless because i think there's kind of this this spectrum of poker players where
Starting point is 00:24:52 there's like the chill hardcore poker player who doesn't like shove it all on to other people at all times but they're really good they're into it it's just this outlet for their like competitive life you know yeah i don't think we can fairly assume the worst of the type of guy like people like soccer player it can't be like the most obnoxious soccer player just soccer player it's like you average them out somewhere yeah i think about like kalindi when he was playing a shit ton of poker and that's a lot of poker player that's kind of cringe it is kind of cringe you're right you're right but i don't think that that our poker player is lot of cringe. That's kind of cringe. That's kind of cringe? It is kind of cringe. You're right. You're right. But I don't think that that... Are poker players kind of cringe?
Starting point is 00:25:27 Ooh. Random man. And I love Kalindi, by the way. Is Tom Dwan cringe? Kind of. Or is he... Okay. No, poker players are kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Poker players are kind of cringe. Thank you. Yeah, when I think about it. Haters. Haters unite. Haters assemble. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty true.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Let's put them in the conic cage. Let's go! Oh, that's funny. No, you know what? Little cross earrings. The dudes who always are wearing little cross earrings. This is one of mine. Bro, they're kinda based. No way!
Starting point is 00:26:04 Dude, what? They're never gonna make it to this. Harmless, bro. Obviously harmless. This is kinda cringe. No! We honestly agree! They're harmless, bro. Convince me that they're kinda cringe. Archie, bleep this. But it's still kinda
Starting point is 00:26:20 based. No way! But he, that has nothing to do with his cross-hairs.airs no it's not kind of i don't dude i'm so mad about this i thought we'd all be like kind of cringe next well i think all right all right all right yeah oh yes i think they're kind of cringe. But also, I'm thinking about people who pioneered them, like Roland or Sobble from Tears for Fears. Alright, they're kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Alright, that's fine. I was convinced. Always lying. Pathological liar, always lying. I mean, it's like, I think everyone knows a person like this. Do you know a pathological liar in your life? I can't think of one top of head.
Starting point is 00:27:10 But I've definitely met people who lie about things that are very arbitrary. Like, why did you need to lie about that? Yeah. That's kind of who I'm thinking about, too, is like the person when you're like, hey, do you know fucking Usher? And they're like, yeah. And they don't. Like that type of lying,
Starting point is 00:27:25 but constantly all the time. The kid from my school who said that his dad worked for Spider, the paintball gun company, and he had a whole basement full of Spider paintball guns. The dude from my life
Starting point is 00:27:35 who told me he played Spider-Man for GameCube and actually never did because he had no save file and went to his house. They're all Spider-Man. What's your Spider thing? The kid from my school
Starting point is 00:27:42 who didn't have a lot of friends and insisted he had all the cool yugioh cards and would give them to me and insisted this every time you saw me but i wanted to be his friend regardless oh my god you're so lame you're so fucking disgusting that guy is harmless no he always lied about like he's like i have this i have this i'll give it to you i'll give it to you like proving his like value in the marketplace of our friendship and then i didn't want to be his friend anymore because he just lied to me all the time is this person the like you don't gotta lie to kick it type person or is this person the like literally pathological liar yeah they're
Starting point is 00:28:17 the they're the people there are the people we're all describing okay also that's if you're that guy and you run into aiden and he wants to be your friend and you fucking botch that you really fucked up yes caleb you didn't need the ghost rare of black rose dragon to be my friend that's right you could just talk and hang out i think that i i feel so this is in the whack playlist i think yeah it's whack place because like it's not jail time our first song in the whack playlist yeah do not play i think that the only reason i'm willing to upgrade to whack playlist is because i think a lot of these people are secretly they're ultimately doing it because they're at a loss and desire relationships in
Starting point is 00:28:56 their life are you saying do you want to upgrade them to kind of cringe based on them from jail to whack play oh no they're in my playlist oh okay put them in fucking jail come on they're just fucking insecure they're just liars yeah there's liars all right i'm good with that crypto guy real what is real okay so crypto guy real uh is different than crypto guy gambler which is a guy who thinks crypto is another way to gamble from home and doesn't really understand anything about it or care is crypto guy real. Is Crypto Guy real? Is that FWIZ? Wait, for real? Or gambler? Crypto Guy real is FWIZ. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Crypto Guy real, who is like a guy who like either says he doesn't actually believe in it but thinks it's a way to really make money but kind of secretly does and you can tell.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Or a guy who believes in it really hard. What about guys we met in Japan? What about the guys who were at the house in Japan? Those are Crypto Guys. Are they Crypto Guys? They're Crypto Guys real
Starting point is 00:29:41 because they were all pretty. They're real. They're real. Yeah, they're real. They're 100% because they're about to life. Yeah. Crypto guy gamblers, they might as well be playing roulette.
Starting point is 00:29:49 This is controversial. Harmless. Because I think if you're... Easy kind of cringe. Interesting. This is the easiest kind of cringe. I want to hear what he has to say. Because if this person is...
Starting point is 00:30:01 If they're fully cognizant of all the shitty stuff around crypto, but have some genuine display of this understanding of the technology and like why they think it's interesting and that's just why they like working with it, then why is that? That is by far not the majority of crypto guys. But this is crypto guy real. But here's the thing. And I get what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:30:21 And I think that's a good point to make. But my counterpoint is that we're taking the entire standard deviation of Crypto Guy real. We have to take standard deviation of Crypto Guy real? Most of them suck. Most of them suck. Like, even if they think that it's fucking, that it's real, and it's like whatever, and they're like about it, they're still kind of fucking cringe. I don't want to name him, but I'm thinking of the guy that I talked to the longest.
Starting point is 00:30:44 You just had a good time. Dude, if that guy didn't have an accent, you wouldn't have liked him. I'll say it. No, that's not thinking of the guy that I talked to the longest. Dude, if that guy didn't have an accent, you wouldn't have liked him. I'll say it. No, that's not true. That's me. That's not true. Nothing was cringe about that. We just had a very nice conversation. That's an NFT guy.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Ooh, isn't it all the same, though? No. Isn't it not? No, it's different. It's different. Kind of cringe. Kind of cringe of the NFT. Kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:31:03 If you're into the coins. They hang out with each other at the lunch table. If you're into coins. To me, they're the same. Kind of cringe. Kind of cringe at the NFT. Kind of cringe. If you're into the coins. They hang out with each other at the lunch table. If you're into coins. To me, they're the same. Kind of cringe. They're all the same psychopath pussies. No. No, I think he's right.
Starting point is 00:31:12 I think he's right. Actually, when I look at it. These guys are kind of cringe. When I look at it near the other people we've put in kind of cringe, I actually think I put them in whack playlist. Real cringe. Dude, think about Twitter. Think about crypto guys on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Crypto guy real. They are so much. Crypto guy real. so much Crypto guy Crypto guy real You know what's funny Poker player And crypto guy gambler And crypto guy real Also all hang out
Starting point is 00:31:30 I think this is fine This is actually So jamming To little cross earrings They don't deserve this No they They fucking do Also
Starting point is 00:31:36 Zipper can you put Crypto guy Above little cross earrings In the category Thank you Yeah but I do like how This tier list Filling out
Starting point is 00:31:44 Will help inform our decisions of, like, all these guys in the same... Hey, level with me. Can we put him over Poker Player? Sure. Wait, does that mean he's less... That means he's less cringe than Poker Player, right? Oh!
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah. Ooh. So you want... No, put him at the end. Put him at the end. I want little cross earrings at the top right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:32:03 No, wait. Because he's borderline harmless. No, you're being an asshole. He's not borderline harmless. They're too tiny. They're too small. And you don't even, you're a Christian? You're not?
Starting point is 00:32:13 I don't get it. Okay, this one. It's like Nirvana shirts. This one has never not worked at Verizon. This is kind of based. Tell me. This is kind of based. You guys don't have this friend.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Tell me you don't have this friend. You're like, what are you this friend that you're like, what are you doing now? They're like, I actually still work at Verizon. Everyone knows this guy. Yeah, he's just, in my head,
Starting point is 00:32:33 he's just, he's lived in Irvine his whole life. No, slightly worse. He's lived in like Whittier his whole life. They're like Cerritos. He's lived in Whittier.
Starting point is 00:32:42 To me, this guy is like, he also sells like mattressresses out of his garage He might smoke weed But he's not a weed guy He smokes weed He smokes weed I feel like he works out A decent amount
Starting point is 00:32:51 I think our Verizon guys Are different I think this guy's Kind of based Goes to the gym Once a week Body never changes Yeah
Starting point is 00:32:58 But he's not in bad shape He's not like out of shape I think he's harmless Do you think he's kind of base? No way he's kind of base There's nothing kind of base? For seven years not being a floor manager yet. Will you describe it like that? It matters
Starting point is 00:33:22 Manager is he based? I think being the manager of Verizon is like being like a discord mod. Yeah, it's fucking tight All right, that's good. Harmless is good All all right 10 years older than his girlfriend and it's legal yeah this is my dad yeah so that's a really good jail time what okay okay listen listen listen this is different wait this is because there's obviously there's obviously asterisks here it's kind of weird because like if you're a 40 year old man and you're dating a 30 year old woman that's two fucking adults right that's just like that's right okay in my head this dude how do i put this if you're still boyfriend and girlfriend you are in my head you are most likely of? If you're still boyfriend and girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:34:05 you are, in my head, you are most likely, standard deviation, you're most likely between the ages of, well, I guess you're not 18. I guess you are between the ages of 28 and 40.
Starting point is 00:34:17 Okay, wait, I think most, because if you're 10 years older, here's what I think of, right, it's legal, you have to be at least 28. You have to take the standard deviation of these people people and most 10 year age gaps are going to be between people in their 30s and 40s
Starting point is 00:34:30 and 20s and stuff like that and i think that's i think i would put i think if you're like 50 and your wife's 40 i don't give a shit yeah why would yeah that's what i'm saying i'm thinking of the guy who's like this guy's like always like he's like dating like 20 year olds and he's we we just have to figure out okay assuming the standard deviation is like a 28 year old guy dating an 18 year old that's not the standard deviation okay well i want data right like is it a vibe if we're going on vibes you're available if that's the guy that it's jail that's what i'm saying but what guy are we choosing i think we're we're choosing the guy wait so is the guy who does it illegally death penalty? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Okay. Yeah, if he's 25 and they're 15. I want to understand your rationale, yeah. But it's more like we have to decide what guy we're... Because this category is too broad. I think we, as I understand this in the world of normal people in Minecraft I'm thinking like person who's between
Starting point is 00:35:29 the age of 30 and 40 dating someone in their 20s So if you're 30 you're dating a 20 year old Yeah And that's kind of like That's kind of cringe That to me
Starting point is 00:35:38 That's kind of cringe That's like the bottom of like That's like the fringe of cringe to harmless And if you're 40 dating someone who's 30 Who cares Yeah that's literally harmless That's harmless So I feel like the fringe of cringe to harm and if you're 40 if you're 40 dating someone who's 30 that's who cares yeah that's literally that's harmless so i feel comfortable saying kind of cringe yeah yeah no with these addendums i think this all works let's just go a kind of kind of
Starting point is 00:35:55 cringe it's kind of cringe i mean it's also whack playlist if it's like if it's two years less there's something way more nefarious some of these guys are in the whack playlist and some of these guys are harmless so we'll put them in kind of cringe yeah just know that know that know what we stand for if they're 90 and 80 it's it's the homie it's all just the homie that's my old dude jerry and his fucking hot 80 year old fucking girlfriend it is funny because you do kind of become the man the older you are and the bigger the gap gets. If you're 90 and she's 40, you're kind of the man. Oh, you're the man.
Starting point is 00:36:30 You're the man. Oh, you're the man. Yeah. All right, skater. I mean... Yeah, kind of base. They're kind of base. Also, here's a hard part.
Starting point is 00:36:40 The skaters I grew up with, the skaters were the coolest fucking kids in school. It wasn't the jocks. It was like was like the skating kids yes and so i wasn't like in with those guys and i can't i feel like if i call them the homie it's me like copium oh i see what you're saying it's like yeah those are my homies for real for sure i think they're just kind of based i also think they're kind of like they'reaters are kind of like, they're like what, they're like what melee players are to e-sports as they are to like sports. I think,
Starting point is 00:37:09 so the style, the style is cool and they are putting themselves in danger. That is inherently cool. But they're not mainstream and they're not at the top of the food chain. And they're not just by default the homie because they're a skater.
Starting point is 00:37:19 That's true. Some skaters suck. There's a lot of shitty skaters. Yeah. And I think, yes, this all makes perfect sense. What was the next?
Starting point is 00:37:25 I feel good about that one. Apple hater. This is like the Android user. The computers or the fruit? The whole thing. Oh, the computers. The whole technology. They're like, Apple?
Starting point is 00:37:33 You're like, Apple, bro, my Android can fucking program. Yeah. This is the Apple hater. You know, as someone who is like a web-based computer builder guy, I fucking love my phone, bro. I don't give a fuck. And I think I grew out of being a Apple hater, and I put it on the same sort of like,
Starting point is 00:37:54 I put it on the same wavelength as like a Star Wars Redditor, you know? Yeah. Which is harmless. You're right. Oh, it's cringe, though. It's a little cringe. It is for sure. It's kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:38:03 It is kind of cringe. They're not harmless. I think you're at the top Of kind of cringe Who are you harming though Because Because you're just Being a dick to people
Starting point is 00:38:09 If you talk about it enough To be the guy You're kind of cringe Yeah and also like You're essentially Being a dick to people When they bring out Their MacBook
Starting point is 00:38:17 And they're just Trying to live their Fucking life Oh you like You like your little Blue messages Put it at the very top Of kind of cringe I think
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah It's Less cringe Than little cross earrings I think Anytime you're a hater Of any kind blue messages put it at the very top of kind of cringe i think yeah it's it's less cringe than little cross earrings anytime you're a hater of any kind you're kind of cringe right yeah so it can't ever be harmless no but some haters are some haters are not harmless are good you gotta dig deep though uh all right all right honda civic with anime stickers okay i wanted to talk about this because i think we talked about this on the podcast a long time ago Because I don't think people
Starting point is 00:38:48 Outside of SoCal Understand how prevalent This is I have only Seen this be a common thing In SoCal Where you see cars with anime stickers I also was in the car scene adjacent
Starting point is 00:39:05 for a while in Colorado. I didn't see this very many times. Maybe it's the West Coast thing. It's an interesting thing. I'm sure it's everywhere, but basically, we're talking about like a Honda Civic, a 2011 Honda Civic
Starting point is 00:39:17 with a giant like big-titted fucking Nami. Yeah, it's got a spoiler. It has some very cheap low-grade mods or really fucking expensive mods yeah the bread does fluctuate yeah but ultimately the idea is that it's a big anime woman on their car well oh really i was actually thinking of like the version where it's like all their windows have like the characters like peeking over and it's all like the little oh this is not the anime car hammer there's both people oh
Starting point is 00:39:45 this changes it this is like dudes who go to car meetups and they all have modded civics with little their favorite animes and naruto
Starting point is 00:39:53 just stickers all over the car look up I'm thinking of the giant fucking look up anime sticker honda civic I'm thinking of the
Starting point is 00:40:00 wrap job no I'm not not wrapped cars oh no I'm thinking of little peeking stickers over things on the windows or the bumper sticker or something like that alright rap job no i'm not not wrapped cars oh no i'm thinking a little like a super common stickers over things on the on the windows or the bumper sticker or something like that all right here's
Starting point is 00:40:10 here's what i'm okay these guys yeah these are the guys but you can just have a normal honda civic with this it's not modded they always it doesn't it doesn't have to be if we're assuming that they're it's like a modded like kind of scene then here's here's my argument you might think hey these guys are harmless but they probably have a girlfriend 10 years younger and so so does this influence the standard deviation of that category if we can if all these guys are in it i'll pick you up from class yeah literally i'll pick you up from community college i want to say harmless but i think it's kind of cringe. Let's go kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:40:47 I think it's fine. I think it's fine to fill this category out too. Because all these people hang out. Because it's going to make a parabola. Yeah, which it should. Yeah. Okay. Reply guy.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Ugh. Okay, so to me, as a chronic Twitter user, I think this is pretty whack playlist. I think it's a whack playlist. Because the reply guy, so just to define this for anyone who may not know, it's just someone who is, you click expand on literally any tweet from anyone with any following, and they're fucking in there. They've replied something.
Starting point is 00:41:17 They don't even have a valuable thought. They just need. Whack playlist. They need their thought to be heard and said. Whack playlist, but also. They crave attention on such a deep, visceral level. Yeah. And this phrase is often used as well for men who reply to women's posts, which is like,
Starting point is 00:41:32 I got my reply, guys. That's like the biggest nomenclature of it, which is also wack playlist. Oh, I'm a regular guy right now. Yeah. Wack playlist. Wack playlist. Wack playlist. All right.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Next one. Zelda tattoo guy. Period. Oh tattoo guy. Period. So, here we go. This one's interesting before you, because a guy I knew who had a Zelda tattoo
Starting point is 00:41:52 was one of the hardest motherfuckers I ever met. Ever. Fuck. And so it's like... What is... You met one guy like this and all of a sudden...
Starting point is 00:41:58 I'm just saying, bro. I don't want him to get me. You think this... I think... Okay, this is who I think of. This is who I think of This is who I think of With the Zelda tattoo It's the guy who
Starting point is 00:42:09 I'll never forget I was at a house party and some people were playing Smash there but it was a mix of people Where the person hosting the party Happened to have friends in the Smash community But also had a general Group of friends that like just trended On the nerdier side but
Starting point is 00:42:25 aren't involved in like competitive video games right this is what i was kind of getting at with the mass effect t-shirt guy okay it's like yeah it's the same he was watching us play melee and he started explaining to the other person who was also watching us play how cool axe of how bad Pikachu is. And he started, and his explanation just had nothing to do with how the game worked. And it's like, that type of opinion is just carried over across all gaming concepts by
Starting point is 00:42:55 the person who has the Zelda tattoo. This guy also has a tattoo that's like a beer glass being poured, but it says one up on it. Yeah. That's this guy. Are we just thinking of the cargo shorts guy you know is it kind of it's not that guy ends up getting more tattoos and i think the tattoo guy is way more about it and he's like he kind of like has this level of confidence that the cargo shorts guy does not have yeah uh but again the guy i know fucking aurelio was in fucking gangs bro like i don't
Starting point is 00:43:26 i think he was the homie you're just a triangle gang you thought it was a triforce no it was a triforce for sure like i think he killed people it's kind of tough i i think i think i think but let me let me throw something in the mix i think that a lot of these guys are like yeah that was my first tattoo i got 10 years ago it's kind of cringe but like it was my first one I like it a lot of them are that guy when I kind of average out the people in my head that are like this I think they're just the bottom of harmless
Starting point is 00:43:53 I can take that I lean towards kind of cringe but I'll take harmless the tattoo is kind of cringe but the guy doesn't necessarily mean he's kind of cringe most of them it actually doesn't matter that they have the tattoo and I don't think it shapes that much of their conversation whereas like think about putting them next to apple hater and it's like no it's like that guy's always fucking being annoyed yeah it's this is fine it could go either way but i think harmless is fine all right next one
Starting point is 00:44:20 patagonia peter okay so patagoniaia Peter is specifically the dude who is only ever wearing puffer jackets and like khaki like cargos. Is he American? He's American, but he also like doesn't hike. He probably is always like LARPing like a hiker. He lives in Seattle or the Bay Area. Or Colorado. And he wears North Face Patagonia and REI.
Starting point is 00:44:43 And he just goes up to the bar with his friends. Yeah, but he's always dressed like that. Okay, fine. What I've noticed is that this guy is like pretty cringey usually. Or kind of cringey usually. He's just a normal guy. These guys are kind of normies, but they're also LARPing. No, I don't think wearing Patagonia is LARPing.
Starting point is 00:45:00 I don't think I've ever hung out with a Patagonia Peter. And I've been like, this guy's fucking chill. Dude, wearing Patagonia is almost wearing Thrasher. I don't think it's like... It's almost wearing Thrasher. It's not that you have to think he's fun to hang...
Starting point is 00:45:17 I don't think he's fun to hang out with, but I don't think he's cringe. He's just a guy. He's just standing there holding a beer. Maybe you went to college with him, you haven't seen him in a while like he's just like i don't know and he doesn't have a lot of harmless he doesn't have a lot of opinions harmless and he's an npc he might be hard to have a conversation with this is fine because he's larping as like a hiker which i also don't care about very much so it's like whatever sure you look sporty i think stylistically the brand has all alsoten like pretty far
Starting point is 00:45:45 Away from high game They're harmless It's just something you wear They're harmless They're harmless They're just innocent men Messy car guy Messy car guy
Starting point is 00:45:53 This is And this isn't like You know A few cups in the cup holder Is this like me? Am I a messy car guy? Yeah you're a messy car guy Yeah you're a messy car guy
Starting point is 00:46:00 Like it's fucking Like there's trash Up to your fucking shins Yeah this is like This is like Don't get me wrong I have met Messier car guys the first girl i ever dated was a messy car guy oh yeah she she drove a vw bug and it was like a fucking it was insane you know i actually think maybe this is controversial i think this guy's harmless yeah i agree i think you hear the sound
Starting point is 00:46:23 of fucking bottles and plastic shifting as you get in the car, but you're kind of just like, yeah, whatever. I think. And if you're a girl, you're probably saying this guy is fucking Omega cringe. Like this is whack playlist for I think a lot of girls. But I think for me, I'm just like, brother, I get it. Late night playing Valorant and you fucking don't get your car cleaned. Yeah, I would.
Starting point is 00:46:40 I would argue even kind of base. You want to fight for kind of based. I might agree with you. I would say kind of based because this person, well, okay, it actually doesn't count because I'm just using myself, but if someone else is a messy car guy, I'm like me and you, bro. Right? You know what I like about messy car? Actually, you know what?
Starting point is 00:47:01 There's an addendum here. So if messy car guy is shameful of it, like you get in there like i'm so sorry about this oh it's not usually they're actually cringe okay but if you if they get in the car they'll say shit and they're just like you like tool brother they put music on like if that's the guy harmless no kind of base because you get in you hear the trash move and he's just like i don't care i'm that's who i am yeah and you're accepting that because i'm driving you and that's a little base i think it's just one, I don't care. That's who I am. Yeah. And you're accepting that because I'm driving you. And that's a little base. I think it's just one of those things also that doesn't necessarily invade other aspects
Starting point is 00:47:30 of their personality or interests. Their car just happens to be that way. And you only really have to participate in it when you happen to drive it. I'm messy car guy and my vote is for kind of base. And I am allowed to say harmless. I think he's kind of based. No way. Messy car guy gets kind of base. He's kind of base and I am allowed to say harmless. I think he's kind of based. No way.
Starting point is 00:47:47 He's the very bottom. You think he's better than fucking, oh, never mind. Because the messy car guy and the skater hang out. That's okay. That's actually true. You go, come on, bro. You gotta handle this. And he's like, I know, I know. And he never does. He's so proud. He's so proud to be him.
Starting point is 00:48:02 It's like fucking 400 Starbucks wrappers. That's only you. Next one. Okay. He's so proud He's so proud to be him It's like fucking 400 Starbucks rappers Alright That's only you Next one Okay Messy hair dad Wearing Vans
Starting point is 00:48:10 Messy hair dad Wearing Vans Cotabase Really? Cotabase I don't like this vibe I don't like This person's vibe
Starting point is 00:48:17 I think He's got scruffy facial hair He's probably depressed He regrets the whole Having kids thing I mean we might even know Dude he might even He might wear padding
Starting point is 00:48:25 bro he's not he's not like trying to show you he can still kickflip he's just wearing vans i don't he shouldn't he's not for i don't i think this guy isn't fronting i think he just happens to wear that yeah maybe he's harmless i guess he's kind of based maybe he's he's a dad he's a dad but i i basically it's like I think you should just wear the new balances like no one's gonna no new balances are cool now
Starting point is 00:48:50 they are cool but they used to not be and you can still ride on that I think if you're wearing old shitty vans and you're raising a kid and you're a chill dude you're based
Starting point is 00:48:59 I just assume this guy always has a beanie on and if he isn't balding he's kinda based and if he is balding he's whack or he's kinda cringe base, and if he is balding, he's whack. Or he's kind of cringe.
Starting point is 00:49:06 That's fucked up. I assume that this person... You're right. I'm okay with harmless. This person, in my experience, was always a dad that smoked weed a lot, and then just was kind of not there. I started, I don't know, roasting my own coffee. That's that just was like kind of not i started i don't know roasting my own coffee it's like like that's that guy too kind of harmless harmless harmless harmless fun uh the contrarian oh whack playlist whack playlist so hard maybe jail time i hate people like this
Starting point is 00:49:41 you know what i'm saying before you angry listener listener, you might be like, well, that's slime. It's like, here's the thing. I genuinely believe. I don't think he's the contrarian. It is funny that it's like, before you say it to me, here's why you're wrong. Here's why you're wrong. All the time. No, I genuinely believe my opinions when I say them.
Starting point is 00:49:59 I'm not being contrarian just to do it. I've thought about, even if it's a stupid reason i've like went through the idea of it this is devil's advocate guy yeah this is devil's advocate guy and he deserves jail time he deserves jail time in jail because go fuck yourself this guy fucking sucks this guy sucks oh but dude like i feel like you ever wanted to hang out with this guy no this is my actually my ever that's my argument for why he's on the WAC playlist. So to me, the WAC playlist represents like, this is why I don't hang out with that guy. Not, this is why he is like a bad human on earth. Like, if they're a contrarian, it's like, oh, every time I hang out with him, he's always arguing about nothing.
Starting point is 00:50:38 He's in the WAC playlist. I'm not gonna, he's not a homie. He's in there. Some people have to go to jail. I think of it in the context of college classes where you have to attend and you have no choice but to suffer through them being that way. I had a guy like this drafted. I was like the guy always in group discussions in college,
Starting point is 00:50:57 but I couldn't really word it right. But this fits. This is the guy. This is the guy in my head. And because you have to be there, because it's not like a social function where you can not invite him or opt out. He's like, he forcibly enters your life
Starting point is 00:51:09 in the worst way possible. But hold on, but understand, but this is why I think he's whack playlist, because that guy, right? He's in the group thing. He's always like, anything you say is instantly like, nah, I don't think we should do it that way, whatever. If you run into him four years later,
Starting point is 00:51:20 you're not gonna, you don't wanna befriend him, but you're kind of like, oh, hey, what's up? I haven't seen in a while. A guy you put in jail, you don't treat that way when you see him you're just fucking hard skirt yeah that's why i think he's in the whack playlist i guess he is he's closest to the always lying the only thing the only thing redeeming about this guy is that when you talk to him normally about a non-topic he's just generally a pretty well-spoken and normal guy. That's like his redemption.
Starting point is 00:51:48 I would argue that this person doesn't have the capacity to do that. They're always trying to. Yeah, and they treat every discussion as an argument to win. Yeah, they're also like the epic skeptic. If you pass through the small talk of like, how you been?
Starting point is 00:52:00 What are you up to? Like that type of catch-up scenario that he's talking about. I'm down for whack playlist. Bottom of whack playlist. Whack playlist is fine. But there's plenty in here. We will find someone to put in jail.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Don't you worry. And someone to kill. Yeah. Uber Eats target demo. This is someone who only orders food and all of their meals come ordered and they never go out and they have no interest in going out. This is that. This is the Uber Eats target.
Starting point is 00:52:24 This is Asmongold. Or me. Dude, or me. No, you go out. Because you know why this is not you? Because you'll find a cafe or something and you'll be like, yeah, what is this spot? It was fucking cute. It was good.
Starting point is 00:52:36 And you value that. And it's convenient and you order food a lot. But you're not the Uber Eats Target. If you truly order every meal You deserve jail time I'm talking like I'm talking like you open Their bank statement And you go
Starting point is 00:52:49 You scroll down And it's like Uber Eats Minus money Uber Eats minus money And it's all that's in there It's all Plus like V-Bucks And fucking
Starting point is 00:52:55 I think the problem He doesn't like this Because he's dangerously close to them Like I am as close as it gets Without being like Like I I think they're harmless This is my vote
Starting point is 00:53:05 because it's kind of like messy car guy it's kind of like messy car guy it's not base it's just it's not kind of base it's like messy car guy but there's nothing redeemable if they're proud of it it's not cool I think I have to frame this I have to frame this as Asmongold and his whack
Starting point is 00:53:21 it's like as whack as I think that activity is you as a person can be perfectly nice and normal. I understand. You're lazy. You don't value money. Yeah, it's harmless. It's harmless. I mean, it's not cringe, but it's not based, so it has to be harmless.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Can proudly rap fast. Jail. Jail. Jail. I want to put this guy in jail. Dude, you can't Dude I think this is worse You can't put Mike Hayes in jail I can I can This to me is worse
Starting point is 00:53:50 This to me is Dude I'm not kidding If I'm like hanging out I'm meeting new people And one of the guys is like One of the guys is like Proudly doing a twistiverse
Starting point is 00:53:59 Wanna hear me do Or like Wanna hear you do The Buster Rhymes segment Yes I can do the whole I can actually do Buster Rhymes on 1.5 i'm not actually a 2x yet but i can do 1.5 i don't ever want to talk to them again he wants to do the watsky video in a public
Starting point is 00:54:13 setting i do want to put him in jail i seriously think like i think that anyone who meets them will have a bad time yeah i think that you can't find that to be really cool and sick and also be like a well-rounded interesting person go to jail put you in jail find that to be really cool and sick and also be like a well-rounded interesting person go to jail put you in jail i want to go to jail not even couldn't proudly like rap or like be the freeze because there's the freestyle guy but this isn't the freestyle guy it's like it's not the freestyle guy it's just the fast about being this is the guy in the freestyle circle who does eminem rap god and everyone's like dude we're freestyling yeah the freestyle guys don't fuck with this guy Put him in jail
Starting point is 00:54:46 Jail time Thank god I was gonna use my one time I was all about the riff it Gym guy alright so this one's interesting It's a wide wide spectrum Hear me out Don't say kind of based It's kind of based
Starting point is 00:55:01 No it's not Why is it kind of based Cause I think most gym guys are are actually not the people that are like the the loudest are the minority people no disagree well yeah i think most people who go to the gym show up get their shit done they're quiet and they're there to work on themselves that's a strong guy this is not that's not a gym guy am i a gym guy wait is gym guy a gym poster to you they're almost like a like a like a grind poster like they're almost like gym guys wear gym clothes when they're not working out archie i'm gonna need a sensor
Starting point is 00:55:39 yes that's a gym guy all right well he's okay uh all right so a gym guy. Alright, well, he's... Okay. Alright, so a gym guy... Explain it. So this is what I think a gym guy is. So a gym guy... If you're someone who goes to the gym all the time, but you're just built and in shape, but you just dress normally and are normal,
Starting point is 00:55:57 you're not a gym guy. You're just in shape. Okay. But if you're a gym guy, everyone fucking knows you go to the gym because you tell people you go to the gym, you talk about fucking supplements and shit. You're wearing Gymshark in shape when you're a gym guy It's like everyone fucking knows You go to the gym Because you tell people You go to the gym You talk about fucking Supplements and shit You're wearing gym shark
Starting point is 00:56:08 In shape when you're just Hanging out Yeah I can help you Hit your macros Okay You could be asked To go to the gym And you'd always be ready
Starting point is 00:56:13 Because your life Has lived that way So the question is Are these guys kind of cringe Or are they whack playlist They're not whack playlist Because there's something Kind of impressive
Starting point is 00:56:22 About what they're doing It's also like It's a positive thing Because you're Like I look When I look at insert sensor here, he's kind of cringe, but I'm looking at him like you're ripped as fuck. I think also these people tend to be really encouraging and helpful if you reach out to them for advice or guidance about the gym.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Which does make them kind of cool. I think this positions themselves at the bottom of harmless. I can live with that. I think they're ultimately, if you tell a gym guy I want to start working out, they're psyched. They're on it. They're pumped. And I think that's good.
Starting point is 00:56:58 I do think there are a lot of fucking cringe gym guys. Like so many of them. But I don't think that it's fair to say gym guys are... Maybe it is gym guys. Like so many of them. But I don't think that it's fair to say gym guys are... Well, maybe it is fair to say they're kind of cringe. This is tough. We're not thinking of a gym poster? No, because you know who's a gym poster?
Starting point is 00:57:14 It's like, like, SFAT's kind of a gym guy. But he's not. He's not. He's harmless. So is Bobby. Oh, they're harmless. They're harmless. Because I know a couple.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Yeah. This is anecdotal. That's enough. All right. Harmless. Tyler, they're harmless. They're harmless. Because I know a couple. Yeah. This is anecdotal. That's enough. All right. Harmless. Tyler, the creator fan in parentheses 2023. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Yeah. Basically 2023. This is basically like, like person who like wears a Hawaiian shirt as like their main outfit. Does this still happen? And they're like, yeah, this person still exists. Okay. They're not just fans of Tyler, the creator.
Starting point is 00:57:43 They're fans of like, like that whole second, like genre of rapper where it's like their whole identity is built around like the Tylers, the Brockhamptons, the Rex Orange counties. Okay. Of the world. But also like Frank Ocean. And like Frank Ocean. Yeah. I just kind of lumped him into like Odd Future.
Starting point is 00:57:59 I think this guy's fine. Maybe it's because it's like a little bit real. Minus maybe the outfit. I do think's because i think they're harmless it's like a little bit real minus maybe i do think that yeah they're harmless i think that ultimately because of i think they're harmless because you said 2023 i think the way that tyler the creator has morphed and changed his personal brand over time is like if you're still into that group of people now i think you're a harmless person in comparison to like if you were a really big tyler fan like when yonkers came out you might be fucking miserable yeah but i was thinking that too but it's like he's released he's just too different he's different everyone's like like everyone grew and changed harmless harmless
Starting point is 00:58:43 harmless all right all right the instagram tourist what's this this is someone who like oh like yeah this is someone who like travels a lot but kind of solely for the purpose of telling people about it and like and like posting about like he's an easy whack playlist i have a hack because i knew someone who did this they got a job as a flight attendant just to travel yes i'm yeah that's why a lot of do the instagram tourist thing and then like they post a photo it's like out through the window and it's like always airborne no it's more like they literally go to fucking wherever their their destination is kind of what 100 okay this that means a lot coming from you because this is kind
Starting point is 00:59:22 of you without instagram you're a travel you're a Yorubu. Yeah, he's, he's, is that a term? Yeah, I've heard that. Okay, I've been right here, I would have been like, that's great. I'm a bit of a Yorubu. So, what's the difference between what you do and what the Instagram tourist does? This is like the person who like, that's like, bro, dude, I'm telling you, Japan is clean. Like, it's not like this.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Like, bro, it's clean as fuck there, dude. Like, hold on, let me, bro, bro, bro, I have pictures, I is clean. Like it's not like this. Like bro, it's clean as fuck there, dude. Dude, I'm the one who hates this guy. Bro, bro, bro, I have pictures. I have pictures. Let me show you, bro. Let me show you, let me show you. And you try to look away and they're like, no, no, no, this one's cool. Hold on, hold on. Traveling is just how you unlock so many experiences and like how you learn about the game. But that's every Instagram caption! And they post every day!
Starting point is 01:00:03 And they take backlogged photos and then post them when they're home. Yeah, they're amaranthing. To pretend like they travel all the time. Whack playlist. And their parents pay for it, and they're fucking... Whack playlist.
Starting point is 01:00:14 They're whack playlist. Whack playlist, I'm down. I'm down. I like his energy. All right. That person is fucking miserable. Because if you actually cared, you wouldn't need to post about it.
Starting point is 01:00:23 That's why. I think that's what a lot of these whack and kind of cringe tier people are is people that are too into appearing as the person they are than being the person they are which yeah dude i might want to put always kidding this one is always kidding i almost want to put this person in jail okay who's always kidding what is always kidding is the guy who every time he opens his mouth To you he's joking He's fucking with you I'm just fucking with you
Starting point is 01:00:49 Is this Sergio Cause he's like transcended that Or Cody from Australia They don't understand this but yeah it's kind of like Sergio Where it's like but less like Lovable Cause Sergio's like really fucking good at something This is like The person it's like you talk like hey what's up and they're and
Starting point is 01:01:08 they're just like you know fucking some some joke they're never you can never really connect to them yeah always are at a joke's distance from you as a person and they and you never level with them you never actually get in their head they're always kidding they're always like emotionally walls are all up highest whack playlist but i would put this person in jail for me it's kind of cringe because i i specifically avoid being friends with people like this yeah you do uh you've talked about that i think what's annoying about this person is that they're a difficult person to even be acquaintances with i think when you first meet this type of person when you when you have no
Starting point is 01:01:45 rapport with somebody and they're also not very good at like tonal communication or like body language or reading the room this person is often saying things to fuck with you or be kidding that are not apparent to be kidding yeah or like they're just like they're just like uh they just say some shit and you're like oh really you're like no bro i'm fucking with you and then you're like oh think about how mad that makes you yeah it's like one of the only type of people that i can meet where i'm like you're just but they're never not like that and they're always like that i think this is just kind of cringe because i think these people can be like a lot of times they can just be like emotionally inept and not know how to just be serious and it's like kind of like whatever i mean to me it's whack playlist because i demand excellence because i think a lot of the time this
Starting point is 01:02:29 person is trying to raz you in order to like fake some sense of friendship or camaraderie when you don't have it yet and that's just like just an out of place uncomfortable thing if we agree that always kidding equals always fucking with you then i agree with you guys it's whack playlist but if it's always joking and like sometimes that means fucking with you and most time it just means they just will not let you in and they're just like always kidding and they can't be serious i just think they're kind of cringe i think if you're always kidding you're kind of always fucking with somebody in a way that's how i that's how even if you're joking about something that doesn't have to do with the person that's kind of a tiebreaker i'm
Starting point is 01:03:03 kind of cringe he's whack playlist whack playlist okay i'm okay with that yeah that's where they belong okay because i don't like them yeah so whatever fuck it i i we don't like them we don't like a lot of dudes a little bit more i'm learning from this uh parabola is that what that is no bell bell bell curve bell curve it is kind of shaping out to be like the way it should be right most people i mean we're gonna have always we don't have a lot of homies we got a core group of friends kill the rap fast guy gambler jail harmless what do we disagree on this what this is the crypto guy real isn't kind of cringe how is gambler to me the crypto gambler is just a guy who likes gambling and this is just another way to
Starting point is 01:03:41 do it what i would put him on the same uh tier as a poker player then oh because in my head this guy is like the guy who's like really he's like copium on nfts and crypto coins to mask the fact that he's gambling this is someone like like you know when you buy an nft and you're just like i don't really even read into nfts i don't give a fuck about the science or anything but like this might go up in money and you're just like, I don't really even read into NFTs. I don't give a fuck about the science or anything. But this might go up in money and my dopamine would like that and feel good. Fuck it. I like gambling. This is fun.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Well, I would argue then that they're the same as a poker player. Because to be a crypto gambler, you have to have already like... I do think they're the same as a poker player. We need a different crypto guy on this list. We need crypto guy, parentheses, Twitter. Crypto bro. Crypto bro. That's the cunt right that's the person we that's the person i hate um but crypto that's what crypto guy real is because the way you're describing it no crypto guy real is different yeah he a crypto bro is like an evil piece of shit who is so fucking annoying
Starting point is 01:04:42 and doesn't actually know anything about what the fuck the crypto bro is the guy who he played he played like varsity basketball in high school and has like a 3.2 GPA and like is trying to tell you that he gets how the blockchain works but he actually doesn't know
Starting point is 01:05:00 fucking anything but he just memorized the first four sentences of the description of blockchain and can remember how to recite them to you. And this guy, that guy is fucking miserable. So can we agree that we are basically saying to the world that there are no types of crypto guys that are harmless? That's what we're saying.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Yeah, I think that's okay to say because if, I mean, what you're saying is... I think the crypto gambler is kind of harmless. There's a crypto guy who's kind of based. What? The crypto guy who's kind of base. What? The crypto guy who only buys drugs with Monero is kind of base to me. That's just a drug addict, though. No, it's the guy who owns crypto and uses it for drugs.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Yeah, that's just a drug user. That's like saying being rich means you're a finance guy. Oh, okay, okay. You're right. You're right. I think, but yeah, to answer your posit, harmless, yeah, no crypto people are harmless. There's always a level of cringe. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:48 I'm down with that. Yeah. Okay. But put them under, oh no, above real. You're right. Yeah. I think that's fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:55 All right. That's good. Esports organization employee. Okay. Oh. This is going to be, oh. This one. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Look. All right. Kind of cringe. Too many of them too many of them have been laid off recently i wouldn't call that an esports org bt bts i'm not talking about bt we're talking about the car oh you're right like if specifically guard all right here's the thing all of them i mean are kind of cringe yes and when we think and we talk and think and speak of these people, and I mean we, meaning us three, we have a very intimate sort of understanding and illustration of this person, which is someone who wears boosts.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Yeah, Yeezys. They got Yeezys on. It's kind of cringe. They have their fucking, like, their big watch. They're wearing joggers that have, like, white designs with, like, crosshairs and, like and Japanese characters. Maybe. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:47 It's the esports pro. I think this has kind of been a bit refined over time. I actually think as time passes, this old version of the esports org employee that we used to make fun of a lot is slowly disappearing or changing as time passes. I actually do believe that. No. What makes you believe that have you seen i think i think just how people who present themselves that way online uh have changed or like new incoming people i see in the industry are less like that i think people have leveled more with what the industry is. I think there's more honesty.
Starting point is 01:07:26 I wish I could pull up a random Team Liquid employee. Dude, I think that they are kind of cringe. I think it's almost undebatable. I don't think they're lower or higher. They're definitely not harmless. I think you're... They're all in little dollhouse versions of what they do for work.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I think they're all... None of them are... They're all LARP. It's like if you're in esports and you're like a like i don't know you you are like a videographer you're only kind of a videographer too hard i i think like one cringe thing i can still think of is like when you work you work for the company but it's like you know if i worked at like goldman sachs i wouldn't put goldman sachs slash slash Aiden in my Twitter title That is so hard
Starting point is 01:08:08 When you talk to someone GS Amen I was just like You just work there When you talk to someone who like works at fucking Like I don't know let's just say Like Goldman Sachs or somewhere like that And they're like I'm a salesperson
Starting point is 01:08:23 It's like well I did sales at like this firm. And then I eventually met this person. We have someone in e-sports who does sales. Like, how'd you get there? They're like, I graduated with a kinesiology degree. Well, almost. And then I actually just like played COD with Nade for like three years.
Starting point is 01:08:38 And then they needed a guy. And I like kind of did. So many, dude. That's all of them. We're going to make some people. This is so cringe. This is bad. We We're gonna make some people This is so cringe! We're gonna make some people fucking upset. You know what? You pushed me over the edge the whack playlist. No! It's just kinda cringe.
Starting point is 01:08:52 Cause not all of them rep so hard. Not all of them are fucking like green wall, bro Come on. And the second they get fired. They're like never mind. You know, you know, hit lessons. You know hit lessons mind you don't you know hit lessons you know hits lessons well okay the thing is all esports old heads that like they know this is the game
Starting point is 01:09:09 right like they they they hear this and they're like oh yeah that's fucking it like they're laughing along with this it's the it's the ones that are insecure and the ones
Starting point is 01:09:17 that would like hear this and be like that's fucked up bro like they they haven't figured it out yeah I cringe it's kind of cringe kind of cringe but as as a trick as a classic esports hater, as someone who literally built...
Starting point is 01:09:29 Probably standing here to this day because he hated esports. Built the throne of esports hating. And it's this fucking car scene. Yeah. All right, that's fine. Yes, you and Richard Lewis, man. You and Richard hanging out.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Yeah, man. Redneck, but lives in the city. Interesting one. So this is... Yeah, this guy is. Redneck, but lives in the city. Interesting one. So this is, yeah. This guy is like LARPing being in the South. Like he is like, where's Bass Pro? Aiden described it well. Drives like a very expensive Ford F-150 that's like always clean.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like likes fucking stadium country music and goes to those festivals. Wears camo like jackets and gear. Or mainstream rap. Yeah, yeah. But is racist. And like born in Orange County may or may not be racist or make a weird comment. I think it's actually 50-50.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Every dude I grew up with like this, or in the actual country. Yeah, exactly. But they were racist for real. Which is crazy. These dudes live in big cities but look like they were plopped out of the south and dropped in. They're just all about the aesthetic. If they went there, they would not, like people would be like what the fuck is there's a lot of these guys in calgary i think this is kind of cringe or whack playlist they go to the
Starting point is 01:10:31 south and everyone calls them pretty boy yeah or city boy or city boy i think these guys are cringe inherently because the culture itself is a very like a very weirdly like white like fucking like i don't know i grew up around these actual people and i don't like them at all right yeah so the so if you're larping as them it's kind of weird you're larping is like weird whack people so you're kind of cringe you might be whack playlist but you're not harmless i like like kind of cringe. I hate these fucking people. Next one, Zaber. Not listening, wanting to talk. No, not listening, but waiting to talk.
Starting point is 01:11:16 So every time you're talking to them, you can tell they're not hearing a word you're saying. They don't care about your point of view. They don't care about your feedback. They're just waiting to say their perspective. This guy's just... Like, after you say your whole spiel,
Starting point is 01:11:27 they go, yeah, and? And they say something completely irrelevant. This guy's like a little worse than always kidding. Whack playlist. Yeah, it's either is it whack playlist
Starting point is 01:11:36 or is it jail time? Because ultimately, this person is wasting your time because they don't care about what you have to say. I think he... I think it's whack playlist. I think it's whack playlist too.
Starting point is 01:11:45 All right. Because sometimes I think he, I think it's a whack playlist. I think it's a whack playlist too. All right. Because sometimes I think that the redemption of them is sometimes they have interesting things to say. Never gets drunk, always drinking.
Starting point is 01:11:54 Is this the guy who insists he's not drunk even though he is always drinking? This is the guy who like is a tank and can just put down so much alcohol
Starting point is 01:12:02 and he's always drinking. Like anytime you see him at a function or he's at your house hanging out, he's always beer in hand, but you never see him wasted. He's just always somehow putting it down. I feel like I know guys like this, but I have seen them wasted.
Starting point is 01:12:14 There's those occasions in which you gotta help him get home. To me, this is kind of like Ben. Where it's like he's never so fucking gone that he's a problem. Yeah. I think these like, kind of like Ben, where it's like, he's never so fucking gone that like, he's a problem. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:27 I think these guys are kind of based because- I also think they're kind of based. Because it means that like, it means that they just drink to have a good time and they're like, they don't change. They're just bottomless pits. They don't get weird. And they might be alcoholics, but you don't get to, you don't experience the negative repercussions of that.
Starting point is 01:12:42 Yeah. Yeah. These guys are kind of based. They're only, they only hurt themselves. Which is based. Which iscussions of that. Yeah. These guys are kind of based. They only hurt themselves. Which is based. Because it's all our choices. Because it's also kind of impressive. I've watched you have 10 years.
Starting point is 01:12:57 And you're fine. What's going on? Where's Rasta colors? Look, again, I wouldn't think I thought it made me laugh. There's a right. Where's Rasta colors? Look again, I put the thing because I thought it made me laugh, but there's a white person
Starting point is 01:13:08 that wears Rasta. Hold on. Hold on. I want to be clear. This is white. This is not someone who was born in Jamaica. This is someone
Starting point is 01:13:16 who just lives in the US and is white and wears and unironically wears Rasta colors. This is Ross Trent. Yes.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Excuse I. This is, this is like he wears a beanie or maybe a bracelet that wears Rasta colors. This is Ross Trent. Yes. Excuse I! This is like he wears a beanie or maybe a bracelet that's Rasta colors. He's never taken it off. Like this is like You know what's funny? The guy that I knew who dressed like this in community college, he had a framed picture. He's a white guy with dreadlocks.
Starting point is 01:13:42 I think I've told this before. And he had a framed picture of himself on his dorm wall and he used to do a lot of drugs and just go searching for rare rocks and later on we found no it's it's not based we found out that his family's house was raided because someone was looking at child porn on his computer which i think is related to the rasta thing and and he swore up and down that it wasn't him they're just par second into this dude's pc this might be controversial i think we should put this guy in jail i think if you're a white dude in 2023 wearing Rasta colors, you should be put in jail for something.
Starting point is 01:14:29 I don't know what it is yet. I haven't, I haven't figured out. That's what I'm saying. I think that they should be in jail because they've done something to warrant going to jail. Yeah. God,
Starting point is 01:14:38 I wish we could change it. So it said white because it looks like we're just like putting someone who wears Rasta colors in jail. I think there's just, I think there's just the whack playlist. No, put him in jail. Yeah, put him in jail. What? White guy wearing Rasta is fucking weird, dude.
Starting point is 01:14:55 I agree. Alright. Extremely nice, but not funny. This one. This guy, you're gonna have a different opinion about this probably you might be surprised like i think being nice is fucking great it's just when people are weirdly nice i but maybe my definition of that is strange but these are just a normal nice person this might be one of the people on the list that literally everyone knows everyone knows someone who's
Starting point is 01:15:22 extremely nice but not funny no he's not kind of based. He's kind of based. No, being nice is the bare minimum. No, no, no. Extremely nice. And we're assuming genuine. It's not manipulative niceness. It comes from the core of their being and that's really who they are. But when they drop a
Starting point is 01:15:40 fucking stinker on you. The reason why you know they're not funny is because they always fail. Oh is that why we have a good understanding of them not being funny?
Starting point is 01:15:52 I mean what if they just never tried to be funny? Because to me this person is someone to me this person is someone who
Starting point is 01:15:58 isn't really trying to make jokes or trying to be funny. You should say extremely nice but unfunny. That's different from not funny. Let's treat it but unfunny. That's different from not funny. Let's treat it like unfunny.
Starting point is 01:16:07 Okay. That's how it's meant to be. Extremely nice, but unfunny. Provably unfunny, because they have tried and failed many times. They're harmless. Harmless. I think they're harmless, too. Let's just put it there.
Starting point is 01:16:17 And you guys might think I'm like, oh, like, slamming freak out of that. I think it's fine. Because being nice is really fucking good. If they're genuine about it. Alright. Unless the jokes they make are like, oh. Gamer Nintendo only? Nintendo gamer, baby. Um.
Starting point is 01:16:35 Ooh. Ooh. Kinda cringe. I mean, it's like. No, it's kinda cringe. Kinda based. What? Yeah. What? No. Now we're smoking. Now you're smoking nintendo games are so good okay zippers gotta go to the bathroom let's hash it out boys let's hash it out look nintendo games are fucking good dude i'm talking about like this these are like these are ultimate players
Starting point is 01:17:00 you know what i'm saying bro? No No no no It's ultimate players that like freak out about the direct You know what I'm saying? That's who That's why they're kind of cringe It's people who watch the direct And are like damn That JRPG looks
Starting point is 01:17:19 Oh my god Oh my god Fire Emblem's coming out Fire Okay okay I give up Fire Emblem on the DS Oh my god, oh my god fire emul- coming out! Fire- ohhhh! Okay, okay, I give up. Fire emblem on the DS- on the DS, I was so good! For maybe the first time ever I'm wrong. The first fire emblem in- aw the first fire emblem in five years dude!
Starting point is 01:17:35 For the first time ever I'm wrong. I told you. I think that you're right. What was it going through your mind when you heard Nintendo Gamer? Just shut up. Just shut up and play. I thought he was talking to me. I thought he was talking to you.
Starting point is 01:17:47 I thought he was talking to me. Tell him, OG. It kind of made me want to come. Yeah, the new Mario Strikers game was a fun arcade
Starting point is 01:17:55 soccer title. I love when it gets hype. The reason why I said kind of based is because it's just someone who like in my head it's like
Starting point is 01:18:03 they just grew up with a 64 and like they just kept buying Nintendo consoles consoles because they're all pretty fucking good yeah i'm talking about your contemporary and then and like you like yo you ever played fucking amazing island they're like do that game of rules like like they've played it and they're but like i'm like if you're playing counter-strike they're like bro i just got a fucking nintendo like i don't have anything else yeah i see what you're saying but I think you're right that those people exist in rare they're more of the guy
Starting point is 01:18:28 that we're talking about exist I mean they must because they keep making fucking video games for the Nintendo Switch Octopath Traveler come on
Starting point is 01:18:35 Octopath Traveler come on dude I love how a couple episodes ago he's like I don't want to make fun of people wearing Masked Bike t-shirts
Starting point is 01:18:42 this is all the rage from that he's firing cannons into their face. Because he's a Nintendo guy. He can talk shit. I am a Nintendo guy. I've loved Nintendo my entire life. That's all I owned growing up.
Starting point is 01:18:53 I didn't play the other consoles, and I'm a fucking normal human being. You've earned your stripes. Who doesn't watch the Direct? I read a summarized article weeks later in case maybe Nintendo made something of value oh wait yeah we didn't decide we didn't decide we just talked about it um i mean kind of cringe it's kind of cringe i think he's kind of crazy they're not whack because i can't i can't let's just say
Starting point is 01:19:15 they're unordered i can't put an extra way to this point i don't have that they're not the same as ravel youtuber um jail death penalty wow i actually might okay i think i actually YouTuber. Jail. Death penalty. Wow. I actually might. I think actually. I think the way. We got to put him in jail. The way we have to think about this.
Starting point is 01:19:36 We got to put Unk in jail, bro. The majority. It's more than kind of cringe. The majority of YouTubers. Are we YouTubers? The majority of YouTubers are not. Good question. Wait, no, wait. The majority of YouTubers are not good question wait no wait the majority of youtubers are cringe because the majority of youtubers are trying to be youtubers yeah yeah i'm gonna put this one in well also what's the stat what we always always talks about is like x amount of like a million sub youtubers are
Starting point is 01:20:01 minted like every day right yeah uh so. So it's like... But think about the YouTubers you like meet. Like they're like devoid of real conversation. Oh! Their value systems are... Yeah. I'm thinking of literally, yes, whack playlists. They're not just kind of cringe. They're like wrong. Most of them are in the when you really talk to them, they're like, they're
Starting point is 01:20:19 so whack. They're wrong. It's like it's like fuck. Like... And some of them are best. anyone more famous than you walks in the room and they like stop talking to you yeah i think this is this is la youtubers we talked about this one day maybe but i think that it's a better perspective than most people we can agree that most youtubers are going what's up guys well i wasn't thinking that was when i thought of youtuber i wasn't grading against like famous or successful youtubers that like I that we have met I'm grading against the average youtuber who's just uploading a video and I am trying to make a for yeah often like copying
Starting point is 01:20:55 Aesthetics or not really like covering their own jacking. Yeah, I've been trying to monetize swag jacking. We just watch Play it. That's why I play whack that is the whack that's all time whack all right also if you truly believe in like hey what's up youtube but you're like haven't made it yet uh that's i can't in good conscience say that's harmless hey what's up what's up youtube uh what's up 20 20 years we are youtubers whack. Fuck it. That part of me is for sure whack. We gotta get to podcast guys. You know what I'm saying? We'll put podcast guys on here.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Oh! Here we... Wait, what does this mean? I genuinely think jail. Hey, describe it to us. I think jail. Podcast guy? Yeah, I think if you are...
Starting point is 01:21:40 I'm not worse than YouTuber. Yes. Yeah, I think it's worse than YouTuber. Are you talking about us? I just need to know i well i'm not really talking about us i do think i do think the medium of podcasting because of the relative effort that goes into it and for the average amount of like the average podcast experience is like two guys booting up like the shitty mic in their living room
Starting point is 01:22:06 and having a conversation and having the confidence that like we should post this online so people can listen to it yeah this is why they're not jail and i think it's i think it's jail time because it's the it's the worst parts of youtubing with the with so much less effort this is why it's not chill because there's another guy in here we haven't gotten to yet, which is, uh, we should start a merch company guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:28 And this guy and that guy are the same. Like we start a podcast guy who's like, they're the same guy. Because merch company guy takes effort. No, no, barely takes way more effort. They fiber and they start.
Starting point is 01:22:39 They're Squarespace. They fucking, I don't know. It's just guy who thinks they have valuable insight or additions to the world and they're wrong yeah which i think they're whack yes podcast guys whack playlist i think podcast guys at the very least below youtuber yeah i'm done with that okay yeah it's less effort yeah which is like more deplorable yes and i've held that i've carried that weight all right concert festival guy or edm guy kind of the same thing i actually think this guy is
Starting point is 01:23:12 harmless i think they're kind of cringe i definitely don't are we talking about like are is this the dude who's like fucking coach rave fan rave fam yes yeah kind of super into it it's basically their whole personality and it's everything they do and their main hobby their main hobby attending the next social function yeah yeah okay i'm down for kind of cringe thank you for yeah they're close to my playlist the right guy whack playlist but mostly they're just kind of cringe. The cinephile. Yeah, if you don't know what this means, it's just terminally into movies, but also judgmental of the movies you like and like, it's annoying. He definitely has a lot of opinions on like directors that you don't even know. He's not harmless.
Starting point is 01:24:00 No, he's not harmless. He's kind of miserable. Yeah, he's a miserable person. He's really hard to please um and there are cinephiles who are harmless but i would say the cinephile kind of the one that we think about when we hear it black playlist i'm thinking of a cinephile in my head who's like really like he watches a shitload of like foreign movies and all kinds of stuff but he's like he also doesn't care that avengers is bad you know what I mean? He's like, yeah, Avengers is like... That's not who I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of the guy who shits on Avengers.
Starting point is 01:24:27 I know, yeah. I'm thinking of the exception to this, like the good ending cinephile, but the typical bad ending cinephile is the guy that's in our head right now. Yeah. And he's a whack playlist because he's ultimately a contrarian, right?
Starting point is 01:24:40 Yes. But he's just a movie contrarian. He's ultimately a contrarian. And he backs up his contrarian his contrarianism with the fact that he just what he oh i've watched a lot of movies yeah and it's also like it's like oh what's your favorite movie he's like playlist yeah it's belly saint jaman it's a movie from 1967 from french new wave yeah they actually shot the entire thing through glasses yeah because they wanted the viewer to understand what it's like to be negative three vision.
Starting point is 01:25:08 That's why I like that, because those are the things I like. Okay. And it's like, well, my favorite movie is Role Model. Should we put them in jail? Jail time. Yeah. Because you know what? They're probably really into Lolita.
Starting point is 01:25:20 Wait, what's Lolita? The movie. I don't know the movie. That's crazy. I don't know what that is. It's got a movie guy. What's Lolita? You don't know the movie that's crazy i don't know what that is it's got a movie guy you don't know either i'm not a movie it's a stanley kubrick movie based on the nabokov novel about a man who is in a relationship with a child i'm trying to get my fucking knob cut off you know what i mean
Starting point is 01:25:35 he does it again all right terminally broke we all have Who you are You are always paying for Who is like I got you next time bro Never has you next time bro He's kinda great He's kinda great
Starting point is 01:25:53 It's also like There would be Like being broke Is like It's something that happens To most people But this person The person who's like
Starting point is 01:26:00 Terminally broke Is like Come on bro It's like dude Come on It's like Like having a job For two years Gets you out of being Terminally broke Yeah And it's like terminally broke is like come on. It's like dude come on. It's like like having a job for two years gets you out of being terminally
Starting point is 01:26:08 broke. Yeah and it's like cause I think it gets it this person gets you to the point eventually he will push you to the edge of get a job get fucking any job. Yeah like that's that's anything I don't actually know if they make the whack playlist
Starting point is 01:26:23 but they are cringe they're definitely they're definitely kind of cringe uh are they harmless no because they fucking terminally also i should specify terminally broke is not someone who's like bad on their luck and is like raising kids yeah and that's why they're broke this is not someone who's poor this is very different terminally broke is yeah yeah this guys went to the same damn high school. Yeah. You had basically the same opportunity. They just fucking like smoke weed and play video games and never have a job.
Starting point is 01:26:53 Your parents own a 4,000 square foot home in Yorba Linda. Yeah. Yeah, kind of cringe. All right. Kind of cringe. Realtor bro. Oh, dude. I don't know these people.
Starting point is 01:27:05 Realtor, okay. Maybe it's where you grew up. I feel like there's realtor bros everywhere. Realtor bros are like, they're always wearing a buttoned up shirt that's exactly too tight so that they can show it. They go to the gym sometimes. They're like, they're like just fucking closed down on a fucking property, bro. They got like gel hair.
Starting point is 01:27:21 This reminds me of car salesman. Yes, car salesman. Okay. Like new car salesman yes car salesman okay like new car sales yeah i think car salesman except like they they are proud of selling lemons because they're making money yeah yeah it's like it's kind of like grind set it's like yeah it's there's a tiktok angle on this yeah they're okay dude they might i think they might be whack playlist they might be jail because they're contributing to a crisis.
Starting point is 01:27:46 A crisis. And profiting heavily off of it. Maybe death penalty. Oh, no. It might be your first death penalty. No, I think it's jail. I think if you put every real estate bro in jail, it might be hard to buy a home, but it'd be good.
Starting point is 01:27:59 It would be like good for the world. Realtor bro is not, I think he might be at the, I think I want to move Ken Proudly Rap Fast to the bottom of this section. This is still the worst. I hate him so much.
Starting point is 01:28:16 Yeah, put him at the bottom. Yeah, put him at the bottom. Ken Proudly Rap Fast at the bottom. Ken Proudly Rap Fast goes to the bottom, but Realtor bros are all in jail. Nobody fucking cares.
Starting point is 01:28:26 Someone on my YouTube is talking about my YouTube. You know what's funny is at a mayhem, one of the first mayhems I ever went to, or when mayhem was still around, it was like one of the first
Starting point is 01:28:34 melee tournaments I went to in SoCal. It was like a circle. You remember those tables outside of the church that people would sit and hang out at? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:42 It was a circle of people sitting there. Where you put your fingers through the holes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay circle of people sitting there. The one that you put your fingers through the holes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. And a guy was rap-godding. It was crazy.
Starting point is 01:28:49 And you know who was sitting at that table? I don't know. Mike fucking Hayes on this beat. Yes, sir. And you know he was waiting for his turn for the cypher. No, you know what he said? He's like, that's sick, dude. Dude, you're fucking...
Starting point is 01:28:58 And I was like, you know what? Dude, I'm actually like... That's my case. I'm actually more cerebral and heady. I don't got the speed, but like it's fucking dope. We're different styles. We gotta stop lying, Micah. No, this is actually all true.
Starting point is 01:29:09 I played poker this weekend and I talked to Micah about some hands and it was nice. Self-titled intellectual. Death penalty or jail. Self-titled? For me, this is the dude who's like, yeah, I was super smart in school. I just like didn't fuck with like books and like going to class and shit, bro.
Starting point is 01:29:30 But like, I'm like really like, I'm actually like intelligent. Like my teacher's like all new. Like it's like that guy. And it's like the guy who like. Well, also this could be people like literally that posts on Reddit on r slash atheism back like, you know, fucking eight years ago. Yes. Where they're like, I just kind of see through it all. and which is funny because that's kind of morphing into that like
Starting point is 01:29:48 broey andrew tate style now that guy but like yeah anyone who calls themselves everyone else a level one thinker yeah like they're oh fuck is it death penalty this is worse than raps fast do you think so this is a worse it's either it's i think it i think this is our first death penalty i think this is i think when people are so into the idea that they are intellectual and analytical and they talk about it and like not people don't all agree with them they're just like that they're like they're trying to prove it by saying it. You have no humility. They're a mixture of a lot of these guys.
Starting point is 01:30:29 They're the contrarian. They rap fast. No, but like the cinephile, I watch literally only these good books. I think this is death penalty. He's the worst of everything. Self-titled intellectual is the worst of everything here. because the the thing you're faking is being intelligent which is like it's just a it's an oxymoron okay yeah i'm good with it wow hey fucking hey good shit guys we did it we got one crossfit guy is kind of cringe is slightly more cringe than gym guy yeah i'm okay
Starting point is 01:31:03 with that gym guy i mean no gym guy's different is gym guy harmless because the problem with crossfit guy no crossfit guy is cringe version of gym guy yeah yeah yeah because he's just too into it that's fine because because there's gym guys who don't need to talk about it we can put crossfit guy above no you know what it is nintendo why they're cringe because because if someone goes to the gym, like you might know about it, you might not, but if someone does CrossFit and they have made the effort
Starting point is 01:31:29 for you to know that they don't just work out, they do CrossFit and they specify that to you. They're cringe. Then they're cringe. And they do weird workouts. They just do weird shit.
Starting point is 01:31:39 Just work out normally. Yeah, and in addition, what gave us gym guy points is that they would talk to you. If you were interested in getting started, the CrossFit guy is going to be way more weird about, you know, CrossFit.
Starting point is 01:31:50 They might literally try to convince you that like, no bro, don't just go to the gym. Like do CrossFit. Like it's different. Like don't, well, gyms waste time.
Starting point is 01:31:56 It's a brother. It's a brotherhood. Yeah. Yeah. It's like soul cycle for LA people. Kind of cringe. But not whack. The half weeb.
Starting point is 01:32:04 Okay. So the half weeb is just someone that, you know, that is like into of cringe but not whack the half weeb okay so the half weeb is just someone that you know that is like into anime but not but this ludwig yes ludwig is a half yeah ludwig is just harmless yeah it's not like weaves i've in my head like the the top weeb it's like it's really the only media they consume like they've they only watch anime they don't watch like movies and tv they watch some anime they think Japan is generally interesting cool maybe more than the average
Starting point is 01:32:28 just look maybe more than the average person yeah but like they could also like throw a football yeah like they could yeah they could but they maybe don't or they like date women normally harmless
Starting point is 01:32:36 they've gone outside harmless because they're just they're just they can just have conversations with more people is there I mean but I guess yeah they're fine harmless is fine
Starting point is 01:32:44 because they're kind of weeb posers a little bit. Okay. But I think most of them don't lie about it. Now the full weeb. This is, maybe this is controversial, but the full weeb is in the whack playlist. Interesting. When you're that diehard, when all you consume is anime. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 01:33:00 And you proclaim. That's bad. I think what's the problem is when all you consume is anime and you're that deep in the sauce and you don't consume any form of other media including like other animation and stuff like that then you are like arbitrarily closed off yeah you're arbitrarily closed off also it's this weird health unhealthy obsession with japan and like eastern media culture and like the also the the the hop skip and a jump to liking fucking little girl hentai you're not just kind of cringe you're not just kind of cringe did you guys read the comments of our uh c-dog episode not the c-dog one the the trash taste one no because because they yes they some of the comments is like we made fun of you know those weird
Starting point is 01:33:45 japanese shops yeah some people were mad like oh like fucking liking lolly shit is fucking oh i guess it makes me a pedophile grow up and it's like oh that guy should be in in the death penalty tier yeah he should comment can we like write that yeah that guy yeah that guy the full lolly defender is death penalty for me it's like i have like people i really like who are full weebs who are like like and when you're like dude like dude you have a body pillow like they're shameful about it like yeah i really like anime they're not weebs they're just they only watch anime and that's the difference i think there's a different i i agree with you yeah i think there's a difference full I agree with you. Yeah. I think there's a difference. Full weeb is whack playlist.
Starting point is 01:34:27 Yeah. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. Well, no, you know what? You know what? I think it's just kind of cringe.
Starting point is 01:34:34 No, because being a weeb doesn't harm anyone. It's just like devoid of a lot of culture and it doesn't hurt anyone or harm anyone. It's just what you like. And it's cringe, but like whatever. Fuck it. Doesn't it come with a,
Starting point is 01:34:47 I think these people often have a pompous reverence for the media they consume. Yeah, it's the smugness that we hate. It's the dismissiveness of other media that often comes
Starting point is 01:35:03 with this person. I don't think all weebs dismiss other media. I think they just are obsessed with anime. No, they do. The greatest story of all time is One Piece! No, but that's like... Weebs, by definition, are
Starting point is 01:35:18 overdosed on this shit. These weebs, these creatures, they're just in the night. It's all they fucking... it's all they're about. And you're saying that puts them in the wag playlist? Yeah, or jail time. And they might even, and they also self, they roast their own. Like somebody will come in, they'll be like, yeah, I really enjoyed Death Note.
Starting point is 01:35:39 And they'll be like, wow, that's not an isekai. And then they fucking gox them. So they're like cinephiles? Yeah. For a more deplorable art form? Yeah. Yes. And they eat their own.
Starting point is 01:35:52 Is it jail? I mean, it could be jail. I'm saying it's jail. Oh, it's just... No, it's not jail. It's just anime cinephile. You might get overruled here. You're the tiebreaker.
Starting point is 01:36:01 It's just anime cinephile. I think... I don't think... Okay, this is why I'm saying whack playlist instead of instead of jail because the cinephile edges towards
Starting point is 01:36:11 self-titled intellectual in a way the weeb does not I don't know I think the cinephile crafts this like understanding of the world from this wide array of movies they consume
Starting point is 01:36:29 and then like and then tries to communicate that to others as like intellectualism but the weeb doesn't have the social credit to do that and it's harder to it's harder to like use anime to like fuel your intellectual understanding of like real life i think it's it's harder to use anime to fuel your intellectual understanding of real life, I think. It's harder for you to project that. I think if they could, they would. Just because they can't doesn't mean they shouldn't be judged. You know what I'm saying? Look, I would like to vouch for Kind of Cringe.
Starting point is 01:37:00 No. I'm going Whack Playlist. If you're going to get overruled we can move him up we can just know i just know i could be in a room with a full weave of some kind and be like fine whatever coke guy sucks coke guy sucks coke guy sucks what about have you probably met more coke guys than i think both of us the guy who the guy it's like the main thing they do and they always have coke man i mean what the fuck did you expect it's just like it's like and they don't have they don't have a personality like outside like i can think
Starting point is 01:37:35 of friends who have coke on them somewhat frequently but they have a lot of traits and value beyond the coke that they do so coke guy is basically only looking at this guy he's mostly he mostly does drugs and he mostly does coke and he's thinking he's like you want to do a bump and then and then 40 minutes later hey you want to do a bump with me it's like no i didn't do a bump with you the first time we're at like a book club right now We're at like a book club right now. Put him in jail. Aiden's illustration of a coke guy is I think
Starting point is 01:38:08 the most riveting thing I've ever heard him say. Get it off my dresser. Alright, open and often a horoscope hater. So this is the guy that likes, this is the guy who like okay, thinks horoscopes are bullshit
Starting point is 01:38:24 because like, you know because they likely are, but can't not... It's kind of like an atheist. Like, open off an atheist. It's like, bro, you believe in that shit, bro? Okay, this is most... Horoscopes in astrology are... I think women mostly are the majority of the people
Starting point is 01:38:42 who consume this sort of idea. I think that's why. Because this guy... And so this guy's saying women are dumb. This guy is like... Most of the people who consume this sort of like that's why because this guy right and so this guy's saying like women are dumb this guy is like time often he's like at best misogyny adjacent yeah i think that's my because if he's like if he met some dude who he thought was fucking chill and this dude's like oh fuck bro you know what like my horoscope today said like that i was gonna take i was gonna take some risks he might not freak out no he makes fun of him i think he's i think he's whack playlist because this person becomes more miserable and causes more emotional harm than the person who's
Starting point is 01:39:18 actually into astrology i think being i think being wildly into horoscopes, like extremely into horoscopes, and being an open and often horoscope hater are both whack. Yes. Yeah. You know what? And that can be said for a lot of these things here. If you're like a big hater, and the opposite is you're a big proponent of it,
Starting point is 01:39:38 you're two sides of the same coin. This is like the outward religion edgy hater guy. It's kind of like that to me, where it's like, who fucking cares? Shut up. Sure. Yeah. I mean, that's why I don't necessarily like this one because it's so specific.
Starting point is 01:39:50 It's like kind of a dunk, like a slam dunk. These are guys, in my head, these are guys who think being right is enough right of passage to be mean. Yeah. This is fine. Whack playlist is fine. I agree. Photographer, only girls, in parentheses.
Starting point is 01:40:06 This is really funny. This is guys who are, they list their occupation as photographer, but they weirdly only ever shoot girls. It's jail time, bro. It's jail all day. I would love if we could put this guy in jail. Yeah. I think that a lot of these dudes maybe haven't commit any crimes
Starting point is 01:40:22 and maybe haven't done anything sus but like they're gonna eventually Yeah If you love the art form so much why not just take a picture of a guy Their whole portfolio is just girls and it's like and they're naked a lot too and it's like what it's like i just think the human body's beautiful and i know they were cool with it i know they were cool with being naked and it's fine it's just weird that there's so many it's just just take there's a lot of things to take pictures of yeah this is jail it's close to death penalty for me.
Starting point is 01:41:05 Oh, that's harsh. Next one. Excited for his birthday, and then in parentheses, is 27. I'm kind of cringing. He's kind of cringing. Of course it's kind of cringe. It's kind of cringe. I think there was an episode I asked you guys this question.
Starting point is 01:41:21 I think I said, like, is it cringe to be into your... Yeah, we talked about this. I think no one agreed with me, so think this is good because you guys excited for his birthday is 27 kind of cringe yeah move on yeah easy one that was an easy one conspiracy theorist this is just your run of the mill everything's conspiracy it's almost contrarian you know it's funny because these people used to be kind of fun and now it's not yeah that's that's a good point it used to be like how old are you when these people are kind of fun? I feel like when I was like a kid, when I was a teenager,
Starting point is 01:41:47 my dad gave me this book about conspiracies. He just got a used bookstore and it was one... I read this whole thing about like how Elvis's corpse was made of wax. And how he wasn't really dead. I think the conspiracy theories also used to be more fun and finding somebody who believed in it was just harder. Yeah, it was more fringe and more wild.
Starting point is 01:42:09 They didn't have political power. Yeah, it was just like, it was just fun little lore side quests. Like Elvis didn't die and it's like, wait, do you really believe that? It's like, yeah, here's why. Yeah, but when you're a 16 year old boy, everyone's a conspiracy theorist. Yeah, true. All 16 year old boys are conspiracy theorists.
Starting point is 01:42:25 They're like, I don't know, bro. I feel like it's deeper than that, bro. But nowadays. Now it's fucking cringe. I think the 2023 conspiracy theorist adult is at the very least in jail. They might even be the death penalty. I mean, you're basically. Well, it's hard because.
Starting point is 01:42:41 You're a contrarian. You're basically a contrarian, but you're more. It's more. You're a contrarian with significant consequence a contrarian but you're you're more it's more you're a contrarian with significant consequence now i think that's the problem you participate in a movement that i think is inherently political now to some degree and you have your your belief your public belief in that thing has consequences in the real world unlike people who i think were subsect conspiracy theorists maybe like 20 30 years ago yeah i guess even even back then if you thought the moon landing was fake it was just really
Starting point is 01:43:12 annoying to the people that went to the moon and if you but the problem is is like if you think the moon landing fake like is fake now you almost certainly like you believe the moon landing was fake and you also believe that like Jewish people control the government Yeah, yeah, and that's like your your brain is able to make wild jumps. Yeah, it's not just someone who like believes in ghosts It's more than that. Yeah, it's it's jail time in jail. Okay, they deserve it. I love I love that we have one death penalty Barefoot or sandals barefoot or sandals only penalty or sandals barefoot or sandals only oh harmless kind of cringe no don't subject everyone to your feet all the time yes who cares it's just feet
Starting point is 01:43:54 overall most people who do this do this in like tropical places too is like totally normal but you know what the people that do it in tropical like the people that move to colder climates still do it as some like weird point of pride is like wear fucking socks yeah if you live if you live near the beach fuck it sure this is like a barely these are people that's most people who do it though this is people in america barefoot no i'm talking about the people who are barefoot or sandals only out of the context of where that's normal i kind of cringe kind of top kind of cringe. Kind of cringe. Top. Kind of cringe. Easy. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:44:26 I don't care where the fuck it is. 90s rap fan. I put this one. It's a 90s rap fan. It's a rap fan who only listens to 90s rap. I would argue Wack Blast. Rap has changed, bro. You can't even understand them now. Bro, the mumble shit, bro.
Starting point is 01:44:39 I fucking hate that shit, bro. I think it's actually Wack Blast. Big L. Tupac big pun fuck dude it's just not the same dude uh it was fucked up what they did to easy bro the more i become this guy the more i wanted to be lower on the list but i think i think they're fans of something that that's good yeah and but but again they're so but it's their it's their outward sort of their intellectual eyes about it
Starting point is 01:45:12 he's not worse than coke guy he's just not oh well no so whack playlist yeah whack playlist all right next one you know what maybe we gave where's Rasta Colors a bad rap. No, no. Public Complainer. I'm thinking about... Leffen. No, no, no, no. Sorry. This is like an IRL when you're on an airplane. The pilot's like, hey, we're going to be taxing for like 30 minutes.
Starting point is 01:45:35 Sorry, guys. And then someone in their seat's like, oh, come on. Fuck. Whack playlist. No one likes this person. Yeah. But how much don't we like them? They're not kind of cringe
Starting point is 01:45:45 they're just whack not jail time no I think most of these people if you press them on it they'd be like yeah I'm fucking being annoying I'm sorry well also no I think these kind of people also like mean to like service workers and they try to defend themselves about it I guess it's not jail it's whack
Starting point is 01:46:01 I think it's your whack okay easy courage JD this is mine i think he's harmless i mean he's a type of guy for sure oh yeah so what so let's distill that no i he puts ads on tweets that's a type of guy what do you mean like like he'll post a video to twitter of him like doing anything but there's an app pre-roll ad dude which you can do on twitter jail you can apply pre-roll ads to twitter videos and time and people who do that you monetize twitter that's prison i'd argue it's his job it's not no it's Musk's job is to be a cunt.
Starting point is 01:46:45 It's so many influencers' jobs and they don't do the ad part. They just go, I don't need to put ads on Twitter. I think it's harmless. Why does it matter? I'm using my one time. You're using your one time?
Starting point is 01:46:57 You're using your one time? Courage J.D. in jail. All right, duh. Move on. It's the one time. What you gonna do dude oh good at everything yeah this is everyone knows someone who's just good at everything where do we place these people wait is this person this person's good at everything but they're not like they don't like talk about other yeah this is like dia yeah dia is a great example he's really good at one point one of the best mars in socal also over 2000 rated in chess also writes for the onion yeah also a good stand-up comedian
Starting point is 01:47:31 like everything is like fuck you also getting his phd i think they're kind of based because i respect them so much they are but also like do we hate them no i don't i think it's kind of it's kind of base it's kind of swag i hate it i'm mad i i that's a reflection of myself i hate't i think it's kind of it's kind of base it's kind of swag i hate it i'm mad i i that's a reflection of myself i hate that i think it but it's only it only feels bad to say it because it's like i wish i could be like that yeah and they're kind of big and as long as they're not bragging about it it's kind of based yeah because if we put them all in jail like we'll be good at stuff that's what i'm saying we kill them if we kill deal with courage who's good at everything he is oh yeah i i'm thinking about maybe using my one time for death penalty
Starting point is 01:48:11 because if we put everyone who's good at everything in and kill them then we succeed then it's like i'll be pretty good at a lot of shit i like that i'm using my one time i like that i respect that so much everyone is good at everything fuck them because like you're not good because you worked hard you just got like amazing genetics and like good learning abilities work hard no no no no no they're lucky your parents just like put you in front of a piano when you were four and they're assholes i hate this guy how much would you suck a dick for oh my god this This is me You hate me? This is not you This is different
Starting point is 01:48:45 This is not you This is like You're driving in the car And they're like Yo guys hold on And this is like And this is the craziest thing It's like
Starting point is 01:48:52 It's like Dude how much How much would you Fucking suck a dick for bro Me it's like I don't even know If there's money Like 40 billion
Starting point is 01:48:59 Do you see the workaholics Bit about this? It's like One of the episodes Of the first season And they do the same thing. It's like, how much money would you suck a man's penis for? Oh, it's really low, right?
Starting point is 01:49:09 And Adam is like, $900. And they just, the whole episode. Isn't it like, I could get $900 now? Yeah. And Ders later on is like, they need like $10,000. He's like, well, you can just like suck 11 dicks. Yeah, yeah. Dude, oh, it's so funny.
Starting point is 01:49:28 Okay, this guy is the worst because he feels like it's safe homophobia. Like he feels like he can do it safely and no one's going to be able to prove he's homophobic, but he obviously kind of is. Yeah, you're positing it as like it's the worst thing in the world. Yeah, it's like, bro. Instead of just something you don't really want to do. And their answer is always an amount of money they could never earn. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:51 In their life. It's always, like, I don't know, like. No, not me, bro. Like, 50, a billion. You'd have to pay me, like, a billion dollars. A billion dollars. And, like, even that, I'd fucking hate it. Like, how long?
Starting point is 01:50:00 Like, bro, like, how long? It's that guy. That guy. I'd like to put that guy. Whack penalty. Whack penalty. No, I think it's that guy that guy i'd like to put that guy i think it's jail or death penalty he's whack playlist i mean i think that's the most interesting question you can ask that is the most value you bring to a conversation he's not worse than a rasta color guy i take that guy in the car than a rasta color guy no he's worse no no he's not that's my one time because deep down i still enjoy the conversation yeah he's still stimulating also it's i think it's such
Starting point is 01:50:32 an insanely funny question for me because i'm like yeah like i don't know what's he look like like not that much how much you got like i don't know maybe like is he nice depends if he's like did he did he have a shower before yeah uh yeah i i think it's still at the end of the day a fun conversation even if the guy who's positing it is stupid and annoying okay you know what but let me let me this guy also next asked the question how much would you fuck a fat chick for bro that's the same guy i can't believe it's the same guy no we just aren't really expanding fine fine elon fan goes it is in jail jail or death penalty death penalty i think if you are right now a diehard fan of elon musk and you're and you're so outward about it that i know about it, let's kill you.
Starting point is 01:51:25 Yeah. You're that fucking bad. Because you pretty much are the self-titled intellectual. Pretty much. But you're so painfully also not. And I'm glad we agree. How much would you suck Elon's dick for, by the way? Not that much.
Starting point is 01:51:38 He was like, I'll do whatever to make him happy, bro. On Twitter. I'd do that guy, yeah. All right. Next one. We will say cancel culture in the next five minutes oh you meet him and know you know within five minutes he's going to say something about whack playlist no well yeah it's whack playlist it's whack playlist him in the in the would you
Starting point is 01:51:57 suck a dick for i get along the same yeah they get along no bro like people are no homo guy it's actually the same he goes like yo don't cancel me for this but like how much is it a dick for yeah you're the same guy no homo guy is also whack playlist it's the same it's three guys in a car this is roy for deep yard listeners this is roy where he's like he's like bro you're kind of cute yo just no no no pause no, no pause, yo! No pause, dude! I'm just kidding, dude! I would put Roy in jail. I think if he did jail time, I'd be like, that's probably good, he'd probably learn something. I think he's in jail.
Starting point is 01:52:35 Yeah, I think it's really funny. I think it's funny to put the no homo guy in jail. You guys said suck a dick guys on... Alright, anyways, I'm just saying. Wait, no homo guy goes in jail? It's because it's less interesting, isn't it? Yeah, it's just not even... Because how much would I suck a dick guy is not... Alright, anyways. I'm just saying. Wait, no homo guy goes in jail? It's because it's less interesting, isn't it? Yeah. It's just not even...
Starting point is 01:52:47 Because how much would I suck a dick for, you know? Wants to be a DJ and make zero progress. I love this guy because I've met so many of these guys.
Starting point is 01:52:59 I've met a million of these guys. I have two. I mean... They're just kind of... They might even be harmless. No. No, they're not harmless. Because don they're just kind of, they might even be harmless. No, they're not harmless.
Starting point is 01:53:07 Because don't we are they harmless? I think they're harmless. I think they're harmless. No, they're so whack. This is my, no,
Starting point is 01:53:13 they're harmless. They're cringe. Because the reason they want to become a DJ is to be the cool person at parties, which is cringe. Oh,
Starting point is 01:53:19 you're, you know, that's the only reason. being into music. Yeah, it's really, also, one time I saw a guy who dj'd really well but he was also still really cringe yeah so it's like what are you even going
Starting point is 01:53:33 for oh because it's also your per your your kind of you're kind of chasing like the lowest form of of musical performance yeah you're playing you're not even putting in effort to get there yeah yeah you're you're putting no effort into something that takes no effort yeah because i think a lot of people i think it's because i think there's this rare i acknowledge that like djing well is actually is a skill but very few people that have the idea of becoming a DJ understand that, understand what they're doing, and just think that they can play songs and stand at the front of a crowd,
Starting point is 01:54:16 and that would be cool. This is kind of cringe. Yeah. This is kind of cringe. You're right. They're kind of cringe. They're not harmless. And then they just become like guys that work in finance.
Starting point is 01:54:24 Every story starts with being high. So every time they pull into their bag of stories, you're right they're not harmless and then they just become like guys that work in finance every story starts with being high so every time they pull into their bag of stories and they're like yo this one time so i'm fucking super fucked up i'm really high and then they tell the story it's every story i think it's i think it's harmless i think it's because it's almost funny yeah i think this kind of person i'm thinking of like i guess this person could always have a funny story after yeah like i think if they're just always are high but they're still your boy that's harmless it's harmless yeah that's fine that's fine yeah and and they're almost weed personality guy but they're not but they're not they're not talking they're just like no well they're like they're only talking about drugs when it was an interesting moment yeah i'm
Starting point is 01:55:08 high when i did this crazy thing yeah like no well no well is funny without the okay weed personality jail jail yeah it's worse than whack at this point because like okay weed personality guys have been around so long that they're they've been around long enough to be self-aware that weed personality guys exist and if you're still a weed personality guy after knowing that it's also remove you from the populace it's also just legal yeah it's way it's way less counterculture it'd be like being out imagine being alcohol guy in the way that weed guy is well i think a lot of them are that's what i'm that like like your craft beer guy is just weed guy but with beer no but he's not wearing craft beer socks oh yes he is is he i think he's
Starting point is 01:55:53 got his breckenridge brewing shirt craft beer guy is a little better because at least like i don't know like brewing is kind of a method it's like coffee It's not just consuming There's like a social aspect to it maybe Weed guys are just like Bro that's sativa though I'm like more of a sativa guy Yeah the question is Are beer guys more cringe than weed guys I think weed guys are always hell bent
Starting point is 01:56:15 On telling you On telling you How it's How it's not addictive Yeah Yeah But I'm faded as fuck How it's actually
Starting point is 01:56:23 It's like not even bad for you It's like no even bad for you. It's like no craft brewing guy is telling you that if you drink 10 of these, you're going to feel great the next day. Every single thing they enjoy, they have to be like, this with a blunt would be crazy. It's like, yeah, man. Put him in jail. Never talk to him again. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:56:39 I'm down with putting him in jail. This is a good jail crew. I like this. Oh my God, yeah. i'm imagining locking all these people in a room together worked his ass off to be here oh i hate this guy oh we all know this guy i hate this guy who is this guy describe him i this is the guy who who has like a he he might be like a a grinder he he might have a nice job like the recent example i can think of this is i i met a dude who was an engineer and he worked at a famous let's i'll just say a famous establishment
Starting point is 01:57:14 and we were talking this is pull your pull yourself up by your bootstrap pull yourself up by your bootstraps they can't not talk about the success point in the conversation i basically brought up that like i was like really lucky to get where i am like a lot of things lined up and circumstantial and he was talking about how like how hard we both work to get where we are and the guy who thinks that nothing in his life was given to him even though every like so much of his life is clearly built around circumstance and opportunity i think Often comes from like a rich family who has like a high job and might've done like okay in school.
Starting point is 01:57:49 But what if he did work his ass off to be here, but he's still about it? It's the same amount of cringe. It's cringe. It doesn't change the fact. Cause I think there's no version. So it doesn't matter. There's no version of this.
Starting point is 01:58:00 Regardless of your background. I think this is way more common to come from people who are trying to justify that they weren't helped but do you know what i mean yeah i know i know exactly what you mean yeah i think but i think it's cringe either way and it doesn't matter what their background is yeah absolutely absolutely good category uh so kind of cringe i think this guy goes in whack playlist no i think at the end of the day he's still working his ass off i think a lot of them don't that's the thing though i don't think they work unironically
Starting point is 01:58:30 i mean this guy's just probably jail this is jail that's just instant jail it's an instant jail yeah that's a that's everybody on fresh and fit incel death penalty should incels be punished with death or should they be reformed? They're lost souls right I don't think the modern like most common Is it like the modern most common use of incel where it kind of covers like another pattern of behavior? Or is it just like the raw definition of incel? It's not the raw definition of incel meaning you can't get laid It's more of this cultural idea this cultural movement of like just really lost fucking dudes that like have insanely low self-esteem and think their self-worth is like through having sex and it's like i you're like they deserve because there's kind of like the the old like traditional like core core idea of inceldom and then there's like the new wave
Starting point is 01:59:26 incel stuff that is like i think like andrew tate adjacent jail feels fair jail does feel fair because you can reforming them would be nice but like someone who uh is like a fan of elon musk i don't want to reform you i just want you dead yeah you just want you to die exactly i think that's furry having an elon fan below incel is very funny i think furries are harmless no yeah they're homies i think these i've moved i've moved i've my needle has moved on this i think furries are are kind of based they're oh they're extremely based i would say they're the homie i actually agree with kind of based i think that they harm was as a baseline I think people who think like furries are harmful are wrong I think a lot of them are kind of based because it's like damn you're a wolf right now
Starting point is 02:00:14 yeah that's crazy they also they have a strong sense of community they're not inherently the homie for being a furry though fine they're going home and they're fucking they're fucking I don't know what they're doing I don't want to assume what they're doing but they're not weird to me Ringler? We put him in the homie we just put him in the homie he's the only homie yeah let's do that
Starting point is 02:00:36 he's asking me to fucking roleplay. Fantasy footballer I don't give a shit about fantasy football I think it's ultimately harmless but i think it's harmless i definitely have a low it's the very bottom though it's with sneaker heads yeah i definitely have a low bandwidth like if i gotta keep hearing about it i'm gonna start calling them cringe you know uh triple a gamer i think they're i think it's jail i think it's
Starting point is 02:01:03 jail time when you think triple a gamer deserve jail yeah because they're I think it's jail I think it's jail time when you think triple A gamers deserve jail time because they're the same as all these people dead ass I was just look they're the same they're all the same
Starting point is 02:01:12 every person every one of these people are triple A gamers in jail category think about it Coke guys and triple A gamer I don't think
Starting point is 02:01:20 triple A gamer goes to whack I think I think if you only play triple A games did you use your one time already yeah I did too I don't think AAA Gamer goes in whack. I think if you only play AAA games... Did you use your one time already? Yeah. I did too.
Starting point is 02:01:29 I haven't used one. I haven't used one. You haven't used yours. But AAA Gamer is kind of cringe. It's kind of cringe or whack playlist? If you only play AAA games... Whack playlist. For sure whack playlist.
Starting point is 02:01:41 Not kind of cringe. Really? Yeah, yeah. There's a whole world out there, and you're just eating the fucking, the sloppy sheen of gunmetal that is AAA games. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 02:01:53 Ringler? That's the homie. Ringler's clearly the homie. That's the homie. He's the homie. Oh my god, we only have one. Dude, that is so funny. Well well that about does it i really like i think this is i think can you think of a guy who's on this list i can't i can't i literally can't and ringler is kind of like his
Starting point is 02:02:18 own species that's why i put him down that's why i thought of it. I was like, I don't know anybody else like Ringler. Yeah, I don't either. Ringler once gave Aiden for Christmas $25 in pennies. That is still in my trunk. I have it in my trunk because I don't know what to do. It's really heavy. Yeah, he sent Anthony a video of him shooting himself in the cock, and it was a full nude video. It was as a joke.
Starting point is 02:02:42 He just sent it to him. Well, he wanted me to critique it. That's the whole reason. It was solicited, by the way. All right, guys. We talked about it. This is our list of everyone you'll, every dude you'll ever meet ever. This is all the people, all the guys.
Starting point is 02:02:53 Yeah, this is all the guys ever. And just wait until we do all the women. Wait until we do all the females you'll ever meet. Femoid only tier list coming soon. Well, this was the longest episode of The Yard I think we've ever done without Ludwig by chance because we started doing a tier list of guys
Starting point is 02:03:12 There's a lot of dudes and we put too many on the list. And we just put too many, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Ludwig will be back next week. I wonder if he'll be like, you guys went too fucking long. No one's going to fucking watch that. I could do a cheerless video
Starting point is 02:03:26 like that was fucking 11 minutes like I wonder if he thinks this is really stupid I think at the top of next episode he just reads
Starting point is 02:03:33 he goes through it really quick we don't like to spend a lot of time on it but on top of next episode he just looks at it
Starting point is 02:03:37 he's like what why is this guy here yeah I was just more thinking of like what he thinks of like like i would say this is bad content yeah which is why i'm happy he wasn't here we get to experiment for a little experiment on our little show i think people will like the first half of this episode it was look it was a tough week a lot of shit was going on so we tried we're doing a weird different episode yeah well we're also doing a primo so we'll see you uh see you in the patreon yeah
Starting point is 02:04:10 on the patreon if this is the first episode you've watched we do more yeah this is not normal so uh enjoy it if you didn't like this one watch at least one more we'll put the the tier list in the discord so you can make your own i think it's easy it'd be way faster to do it on your own yep uh all right everyone goodbye now all right bye

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