The Yard - Ep. 88 - Pitching Ludwig our WORST video ideas...
Episode Date: March 22, 2023This week, the boys talk about whether Monaco is within France, some ideas that slime has for Ludwig's videos, and how everyone is dressed as Peter Griffin......
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So what the fuck is-
What's all this?
What the fuck?
You just all-
Me and Ludwig wanted to be Peter Griffin for Halloween.
Hey, Peter.
This is actually unrelated to St. Patrick's Day.
You all just wore...
Well, I think me and him, this is more of a coincidence.
He's wearing the fucking yard hoodie.
That's normal.
But this is kind of weird.
This isn't weird.
I think it's chill, and we're supporting our Irish brothers and sisters.
Our who?
Across the pond.
Name one.
Not Seamus.
Jack Septickei. Oh, my God. That is terrifying. and sisters are who across the pond one and not famous uh jacksepticeye
he's irish that's not true it literally is his intro and that quote is top of the morning laddies oh that could be anything that could it couldn't it couldn't be any from Argentina. No, you don't think that.
You don't think he's Argentinian.
He watched a lot of Irish content growing up.
People know that he actually just watched a lot of Irish content.
He has an accent.
He used to watch a lot of Boondock Saints.
I told you about that British kid who went to my school and who wasn't British, but who had a British accent.
Oh, yeah.
Just contrived.
No, that's my story.
What?
That happened to me.
I remember a kid, he had a British accent, and then I clocked him in class, and he was
like, yeah, you're right.
I've told this story in the podcast.
Wait, what?
Oh, my God, you're right.
Different kids, first of all.
Second of all, weird to clock a kid for having a British accent.
But I was right.
Not weird.
If you walk up to every British person you meet and say that, eventually you'll hit.
No, it was hard, bro.
I just called him out.
It was bullying.
It wasn't bullying.
You bullied him out of his accent.
It wasn't.
For a woman.
He wasn't British.
He wasn't British.
You did bully him.
But to be clear, you did bully him out of his accent.
I said, that's not your real accent.
And then he said, yeah, you got me.
And then, oh. No one. Sorry. What the fuck are you making up a guy for? When you said clocked him, that's not your real accent. And then he said, yeah, you got me. And then, oh. No one
who's, what the fuck are you making up a guy for?
When you said clocked him, I thought you meant punched him
in the face. No. That's what clocking
someone is. I just identified
what he was doing. Oh, man, that was
a confusion on my end. It's okay.
You've heard that term, though. It's a radar. Yeah, but it's
when you clock somebody. Because I could clock you
and you'd be lights out. No, I wouldn't.
I want to put you lights out
wearing that shit.
Why do you want to put them lights out?
I start working out.
I hit 185.
I think I beat you.
I'm stronger than you.
Aiden, Aiden, Aiden.
I grow four inches.
All of a sudden,
I'm taller than you.
Yeah.
We can live in a make-believe land.
Yeah, but I can hit 185.
You won't.
This is not like a thing.
Like, hypothetically.
You can't hit 6'3". Actually, this is my... No, I can hit 6'4". This is my New Year's resolution. I can hit 185. You won't. This is not like a thing. Like hypothetically sure. You can't hit 6'3".
Actually this is my- No, I can hit 6'4".
This is my New Year's resolution.
I can hit 6'4".
To hit- What are you- hold on.
It's not equivalent at all.
I'm trying to help you sign.
You just want the equivalent at all.
It is equivalent.
I can hit 6'4".
So like you work out enough and you can be taller.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Which exercise do you gain height with?
I could do that.
I could do the one where they break your calves and they add a metal rod. Yeah.
For like a couple inches.
You think you're going to add six inches to your height?
First of all, I'm not 5'10".
Yeah, you're like 5'9".
That's disrespectful.
I'm like 3 1⁄2 inches off 6'4".
3 1⁄2.
Yeah, but like.
4 1⁄2.
As far as it counts for one.
It's actually Ludwigamping about his height
is good for me
because then my height
goes up too
yeah
this is just a chain
a rising tide baby
let's go
a rising tide
shakes two nights
in the winter
that's what they say
shakes two guys
in the mouth
I wasn't thinking
about it this weekend
and I think
I want to go back
to my old ways
of just saying
saying I'm six one
because it makes other guys feel insecure that is very funny that's a great way to weaponize
your tallness because i i am my actual doctor verified height is six one and three quarters
and i used to think it would be funny if i rounded down it'd funnier if you just said six feet. Every guy, every guy rounds
up, right? Six feet is better. So if you, if you, somebody asks you your height and somebody,
people round up and they fully believe that number in their mind. That is like their identity. It's
wrapped up in that, that height number. So I would say I'm six one and they'd like freak out and
they'd be like, you can't be, you can't be 6'1 because I'm 6'2
so you're at least 6'3
and that interaction
happened so many times
that I got annoyed
and I just started
rounding up
and I just said
I'm 6'2
well now
but now you've got time
but now I want to go back
I want to go back
to the old way
I don't want to make
men squirm
about their height
just go to the Abbey if that's your goal, man
Hey, I talked about this on the path
Nothing about making a man squirm
To not make men squirm gay bar
You're saying only girls can squirm
Hey squirm is P. What about my guys and I bees?
Stone it here the worst bully only police himself and I think this water makes your dick hard
Because it says it's like Viagra
Hayden podcast welcome back to it by the way
Viagra Aiden
Comedy Podcast
Welcome back to it
by the way
Welcome back to the
episode
86
I looked it up
It is factually
87
We're on at least
We're on at least
104
This is the initial
D of the yard
I like
We're all gonna get
in a car
Stop
Stop
Watering the grass
The grass doesn't
need more water
It's raining enough
in LA
What happened to you?
Do you know
how much rain
we're getting?
I do What happened to you? Is there a number much rain we're getting? I do. What happened to you?
Well, I don't know. Is there a number?
I read an Instagram reel
and it said that we're receiving 99.9%
more rain than anywhere else on Earth.
And it was an Instagram reel, so take it with a
grain of salt, because the next one was about the Earth being flat.
Wait, what about the
rainforest? I'm saying
we're getting more than, there's like
.1%, maybe it's the rainforest, but we're getting more than the, there's like 0.1%. Maybe it's the rainforest,
but we're getting
a fuck ton of rain.
He labbed that joke
with the Riot employees
we met this week.
No.
I forgot I said that.
You're talking,
dude,
you're talking about
the weather
on a podcast?
Yeah,
it's raining a lot.
What do you want from me?
Rain sure is coming down.
Effort.
Hey,
we needed this.
Hey,
you.
Come on.
Thank God the draft. You made the Riot employees laugh though. Hey, we needed this. Hey, you. Come on. Thank God the draft.
You made the Riot employees laugh, though.
Yeah, they have to.
No.
He made the people.
That's client relations.
That wasn't funny.
He made the people that have to be nice to him laugh.
I was lighting it up in there.
They don't have to be nice to me.
They're a multi-billion dollar company.
They started hissing.
The representatives do.
The people that you met have to be nice as their job.
I was lighting it up in there.
Because they know they're one mogul male away from that company collapsing.
Have I made a disparaging one about Riot Games?
Oh, interesting.
It's just that you haven't.
Who's in whose pocket?
Hey, Riot, keep it coming, though.
I think just being in association with Anthony is a crime against Ryan.
You're next to me every F.
He's beloved on that campus now.
They do love you.
I can't believe they let us in.
They wouldn't stop talking about you.
No.
You think they put, like, a chip on you?
A chip?
Like, they put something like a chip in the water, and now they know where you are at all times.
They know where you are for sure.
But the chip didn't change who I am.
I still hate them.
I think you like them. They can know where I am. I still hate him. But I'm fine.
They can know where I am.
It's more fun that way.
They put the chip in you
that made you want
to stop hating.
But your insides fought back.
Your white blood cells
took care of it
and now you're back to hating.
Yeah, I shit it out.
They took it to my colon
and I shit out the chip.
Now I'm back to me.
I've been having
a weird relationship issue
with you. Wait, wait, wait. Yes, you have. But hold on. I want to hear about now back to me. I've been having a weird relationship issue with you wait wait wait wait
Well, yes, you have but hold on I want to hear about how they liked me
No, I'm not gonna massage your ego. They just liked you don't talk to me about shit anyway
I'm telling you right now. They were just like they're just like yeah, we should have maybe slime back
That would be heard maybe be good. We heard that Anna the executive producer of the game thinks you're hilarious
No, yeah, which is just clearly the rapper anna yeah no not anna she worked for the game
she actually helped out with hate it or love it we don't have to talk about it too long can you
pull up the picture of the game at 7-eleven we just keep going i just want this to be on screen
anyway they liked you but do you want any more than that?
That's good enough. That's all they said?
That's enough, yeah. It wasn't that long.
It wasn't that long. There was no begging.
It was very brief. Did they beg?
What would they have begged? Like, please get him back.
They begged for me. No, they didn't beg for you.
They didn't beg for you.
I didn't.
At one point in the meeting, I'm pretty sure
Kevin said, and it was out of the blue, he said, I don't think slime could please you.
And he looked me up and down.
He said, I don't think it could please you.
I think he said to me in the meeting, this is Riot Games.
He said, I think you'd refuse a load.
No.
Yep.
Who?
Kevin?
Kevin at Riot Games.
Kevin at Riot Games said, I think slime would refuse a load.
I'm sorry.
Not if there was a rule.
They hired a guy named Kevin?
We did too.
Oh my fucking God.
He didn't say that.
He said yam.
Yeah, dude.
Ludwig's been fucking...
It's sad.
What's sad?
I don't know where he's going with this.
Tell me.
Go ahead.
Tell the people.
I wasn't going to go from a sad angle, so now you have to take it over.
No, you take it over.
Well, I was just going to say that Slime just DMs me randomly, like, every few days.
Like friends do.
An avant-garde stream idea.
So, like...
Oh, my God.
And it's always, like...
And I think he knows when he sends it, like, probably a no.
Right?
Like, I think you know, like, a little bit when you're sending it, that, like, this is probably not... I'll i'll stand by ice fishing i would love to hash this out because i don't believe he knows
i really because we just did a big brainstorm for the ludwig universe
i was so mad you know i bring over i bring over my laptop i'm ready to work we got kind of a
tight schedule recording decom as well and i'm like all alright slime hit me with an idea for YouTube and he goes we shoot Ludwig
Yeah, no, so yeah, I'm like what do you mean? He's like with a gun and I'm like
Right all right now a real idea. He's like no for real like we'll shoot him and I'm like do
Now what now what they went to hospital he's like no we shoot me
Now what? Now what? They went to the hospital? He's like, no, we shoot me. Dude, that's how all some ideas end, if he's out, he just inserts himself. He just wants to be a content creator.
And doesn't know how.
So, so this is, this is, does that break terms of service if you like shoot yourself in the foot of the video?
Of course it does. I'm like, the video gets demonetized, now what? He's like, we censor it.
And that was a good point, yeah. And I was like, now we solve the problem.
Censoring it also keeps it demonetized, by the way.
No.
Like, okay, let's-
You cut away.
So we don't show it.
Yeah, but you can show some of it.
The way we ended up in this idea is you just want to be or shoot someone,
and you don't even want to tape it.
You just want to-
No, no, no.
I think you have, like, murder inclinations.
Like, I think you're a murderer.
Remember when we were on the call and it cut out and you lost service?
Uh-huh.
And the last video pitch idea was, we shoot you.
And I kept saying to Nick, I was like, bro, no, shut up.
It's like Die Hard.
Like, you shoot him in the shoulder and it doesn't hurt.
Yeah, he kept saying we would shoot you somewhere non-lethal.
Wait, that's also, by the way, that's not Die Hard.
Like Die Hard.
That's not Die Hard 4.
Shut the fuck up.
No, that's Bourne.
No, no, no, that's Sherlock. That's not Die Hard. Die Hard 4. Shut the fuck up. No, that's Bourne. No, no, no.
That's Sherlock.
It's Sherlock.
This has happened in a lot of movies where you get shot.
He gets shot right here.
He gets shot right here.
And I think it's Sherlock.
And he's like, there were no vital organs in that spot.
That's why I was able to slide the bullet.
But what I'm saying is, and I wish you guys were cultured, except Aiden.
He's looking very cultured right now.
Is that when Bruce Willis is like being held by a man behind
him and it's the enemy man. And so what Bruce Willis does is he takes a gun and he shoots
himself and he shoots through the man.
Wait, that was Bruce Willis?
No, it was someone else.
No, this is Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock.
Okay.
I'm like pretty sure about this one.
Let's pitch a more idea. What if-
Anyway, anyway.
I have an idea.
No, no, no, you shut the fuck up.
I have a video idea for you. I love the Sherlock. You work on your bars whenever you're about to do something. Let's pitch more idea. What if anyway?
You we we kidnap two journalists we put them on their knees in front of a camera I think there's problems with it. So this one is D-P-O-S. Do you think it gets demonetized? Yes, I do think it gets demonetized.
You don't think Coca-Cola would sell ads on that?
No, I don't think they would.
You think Coca-Cola...
You think ISIS wins the war.
You think Coca-Cola is not selling products in that region?
Do you know that real name is ISIS?
I'm not kidding.
I'm not. Look up Ice Spice real name. her real name is Isis? I'm not kidding.
What?
I'm not.
Look up Ice Spice's real name.
No, I knew a girl named Isis.
She was very pretty.
This is like the new Barack Obama middle name.
Yeah, but when you knew someone named Isis, it was before Isis was a thing.
No.
Or popular.
It wasn't.
Surely.
Dude, I'm not that old.
Okay.
Aiden, I get you.
I get you.
Dude, she was born in the 2000s?
She was born on January 1st.
She's born, what's it called?
Looking at your beautiful baby child and going, I'm going to name you Isis.
She'll always know how old she is to the day.
Yeah, that is true, actually.
Yeah, it's just the new year.
Because I was born in 90, so I just add 10 years every time.
You're that old that you have to do math. I don't have to do math. It's just fun new year. Because I was born in 90, so I just add 10 years every time. You're that old that you have to, like, do math.
I don't have to do math.
It's just fun to compare how old I am to the world.
So you're telling silly ideas, but he sent me actual ideas off the record that he thought were good ideas.
Like shooting you.
And I want to read a couple out.
No, they're not shooting.
They were more.
He didn't let me pitch that one because he lost a service, quote unquote.
Actually, I'm glad I didn't hear it.
one because he lost a service quote unquote i actually i'm glad i didn't hear it stream idea you're playing video games in an undisclosed location and you have to beat the game before
chat comes and finds you all your ideas are all your ideas are shia labeouf and he follows up and
he says and it's in st louis yeah i was just like well where where would we do it yeah you're in a
you're in a part you're in an apartment below the arch.
You're next to the arch.
No, no, no.
It would be like, so my idea, remember I had the camping idea last time?
Yes.
Well, that's a good idea.
I'm going to do that.
And then, so it's like, okay, well, it's like reverse geoguessr.
It's like everyone has to find where you are, and then they find you, and they come to you.
Yeah.
Like Shia LaBeouf.
That's actually great.
So Nick said that, too.
I don't know who this fucking Shia LaBeouf is. I don't know who Kyle LaBeouf. That's actually a great... So Nick said that too. I don't know who this fucking Shia LaBeouf is.
I don't know who Kyle LaBeouf is.
I don't know Kyle, but I do know that his sister Ren is beautiful.
So you don't know Shia, but you know his sister.
I know even Steven.
Right.
No, I didn't know this was a thing.
Okay.
That he did.
Well, your other idea wasn't an idea.
It was just MrBe Beast released a video.
Oh, I'm so mad.
And then he just puts in the group chat.
He's like, I had this idea for so long.
Oh, the assassin idea?
It was just, yeah, Mr. Beast gets tracked down by an assassin.
Did I not say that when we were meeting and we were talking?
Did I not say, like, what if, like, we hire an assassin to kill him?
I'm sure it was one of the many killing type beats.
You're becoming an ideas guy and it's a
problem oh why because there I go because Jimmy Beast is biting my shit you used to hate ideas
guys that was your whole thing you used to make fun of Bobby Scar you'd be like he's an ideas guys
and you guys are gonna do shit you can't be an ideas guys what the fuck I'm now you're just like
yeah fucking we're gonna shoot you in St. Louis. But the thing is,
you came to me.
And that's it.
That's all you think.
No,
it's not.
Because if you said,
slime,
all right,
I'm down.
I want to get shot with a gun in St. Louis
in a non-lethal fashion on a video.
Yeah.
And I'd be like,
get to work.
Yeah.
What you're saying right now is,
if you came to me and said you liked my idea,
we would do it.
That's not what you're saying at all. So you're being an asshole. Also, I feel like when, if Mr. Beast drops a video, I was if you came to me and said you liked my idea we would do it
Also, I feel like when if mr. Beast drops a video and you just had a light idea of an assassin chasing and you go fuck I had that it's like if you're playing poker and you folded and then the flop comes your way
It's like it's like 70
Come on buddy. No, I think it's different
I'm not some dude just like working on a forklift it's like you didn't come on buddy no I think it's different I'm not some
dude just like working
on a forklift who's
like you know it'd be
funny if they did an
assassin video I'm like
a guy who helps a
youtuber make videos
it's a little different
yeah but we didn't get
far is what I'm saying
I just I was just too
late that's the thing
he's sharp you know
what I'm saying
he's sharp he's quick
did you like the video
did you watch it
no
you didn't watch it
not yet
I think that I watched it and it was very weird for my Mr. Beast video.
Now I'm wondering if they're all secretly like this, and I've just never noticed.
But the guy's clearly not an assassin, right?
I don't know.
He's clearly just some actor.
Let's find out.
No!
Mr. Beast.
See, this is also an unnormal human.
There was not a single moment of this video where this guy was tasked with using some sort of knowledge.
He's just running in a straight line until he touches Mr. Beast with a knife at the end.
I just feel like he would be an assassin.
Oh, we just outed an assassin publicly.
He's probably like...
Hello?
Jimmy, quick question. I'm doing my podcast.
Was he an actual assassin?
Yeah, but in the military
oh so he's like
assassinated military style?
yeah when
there's one part
at the beginning
where like
effects pop up
and a bunch of text
explaining it
but you did like
special ops in the military
and I don't know
I didn't want to go
too in depth with it
because I didn't want to like
yeah
did you ask him
if he murdered a human?
yeah that's basically what he did
did he ever murder a human in St. Louis Did you ask him if he murdered a human? Yeah, that's basically what he would do. Did he ever murder a human
in St. Louis?
Sorry, you're breaking up.
Okay. Alright. Did he ever murder a human?
There's a lot of static.
Is he a human? Yeah, of course.
Alright, alright, Jimmy.
Have a good one.
Sorry, I'm losing you.
I don't think he wants to say, but it sounds
like that guy
It's crazy you guys watch the video and you missed what was put in about
It was like it was like
Location served undisclosed time served undisclosed operations undisclosed
reason why I thought that was cuz like the video is like I watched it front to end and it was like the only time he's doing anything assassin like is he's walking along a building like this there's nothing else where he's like using a special understanding
or a skill and the video is mainly an excuse to like run over a car with a tank and explode a
building and recreate the safe dragging that is how this style of video goes it's basically like
he has a set a list of objectives that was assassin oh right maybe being an assassin really is just charging
at a man no i think a true assassin would be undercover and they wouldn't like none of it
is similar the only thing i feel like he could go source a dark web assassin and then pay him
enough to quit that imagine jimmy's like yeah i went on tour i try to find a guy i well okay i watched it or i
didn't watch it uh but you're gonna comment on it yeah no i didn't comment on it at all i just
watched it and that's why i haven't weighed it well now's your time chad warden what's your
fucking what you think kids are gonna watch uh if Is it Fast and Furious with the safe dragging?
The safe dragging?
Where they drag the safe in the streets from the car at the heist?
Yeah, that's Six with the rock.
Yes.
You think kids are going to watch Fast and Furious one day and be like,
Whoa, it's like Mr. Beast?
Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Some.
He's becoming a cultural touchstone like the Animaniacs.
Mr. Beast is the Animaniacs.
Call him again. Okay, letacs of YouTube. Call him again.
Okay, let's consider it.
Call him again.
No, I'm not going to call him for that one.
Call him again.
I didn't know we just talked.
If you say you're the Animaniacs of YouTube.
There's less static.
Would you take a bullet for YouTube?
Yeah, dude, he would.
That's the thing.
Would he take a bullet for a YouTube video?
You know what I was surprised about that videos he flew in a helicopter
He's scared of that he we had the helicopter on a shoot that I did with him
And he was too scared to get on and so in the video
He's like and I'm not actually gonna fly cuz I'm scared yeah, cuz he's like he thinks he's like Kobe
He's a Kobe of YouTube the Kobe. He's the animaniacs of YouTube. He's the animaniacs of the Lakers which was what Kobe was
Kobe was the animaniacs of the Lakers for was what Kobe was. Kobe was Animaniacs of the Lakers for sure.
So yeah, by proxy he shouldn't go on a plane.
Yeah, exactly.
He shouldn't go on a helicopter.
Yeah, a helicopter.
So you're probably wondering why I'm like this.
It's because Slime won't stop farting on set because all he eats is garbage and it smells
like garbage coming out of his ass.
It does.
It smells like trash. I'm his ass it does it smells like trash trying not
to breathe in right i just want you i want you to eat better because then i wouldn't have to be in
my shield when you do that that's true it shouldn't smell it that's true no i've lost the ability
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And you learn some tips on the way, right, Tyler?
Yeah.
Yeah, you get some fresh tips.
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Tyler, by the way, is not going to be here much longer.
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Well, no cups, no tablespoons,
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He's a fucking pussy, bro.
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Tyler, what is it?
Yeah, what is it?
This is his last episode because he really, he's going to get, he's going to. Tyler, you're not.
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Bye, Tyler.
You know what I want to start doing?
Is zipper.
Can you look up flying to McDonald's?
Oh, paramotoring?
Yes.
Dude.
This is so cool.
We deep-dived this guy in the Discord way back.
Way back.
I want a paramotor.
That's how you go out.
It is how you go out.
A YouTuber went out like that.
No.
I talked about it.
Yeah.
I talked about it to Chad.
I was like, I want a paramotor.
And it's like the closest I've ever seen like a human flying to it's like out being
In a box you go down and and I told him that and yeah
Me and viddy used to joke about this guy every day for like all of junior college wag
And I was like what is this guy who is this, he jumps, and then he flies to McDonald's.
And it's as simple as that.
And then he lands, and then he eats McDonald's in the sky.
His video has like 50 million views, too.
It's such a sick video.
And he's flying.
He's flying with the winds in his hair.
It's like riding a Vespa in the air.
It's so funny how you fucking, you act like you're above it all.
You act like you've got it all together.
But you're just chasing the crack pipe of something like this.
No, no, no, I don't act like I got it all.
You're making it to 30 because you just want to die so bad.
Zipper, Zipper, go on the way back, go on the way back.
There's a sunset. There's a beautiful sunset.
Why do you like the sunset so much?
I like when there's sunsets!
You're so gay.
It happens just every day.
Okay, okay, okay, pause, pause. You're not allowed to call things gay.
You have to turn your hat.
Yeah, turn your hat.
You have it in straight mode. You have to put it in gay mode.
No, no, no, no, no. You can't say it like that.
You're being a bully.
Take your hat out of gay mode.
I think we should use gay in a positive way. I think he looks really gay right now
Yeah, whatever bro
Did you see that gay crash he had?
No, the crash just can't be gay
Where he gay died
Crash just can't be gay, no that's not- that can't be his thing
You thought we were retaking gay
No, there's no such thing as-
Did you see that good crash that he had where he good died?
Yeah, why don't you guys retake it?
Well, you sure as fuck shouldn't have it.
Look at you.
You can't say...
Your tone is just...
Oh, I can't say it.
You can't, Bradson.
Princefer.
Princefer.
From Phi Kappa Phi.
Yeah.
Dude.
You're the closest thing...
Actually, you guys probably... You guys did some Greek shit back in the day.
I got a bid.
I could have joined.
I didn't.
I didn't get a bid.
Because I was not cool.
I would have said that.
No.
You're lying to me.
Yeah, I could have.
So you want to fly in the sky.
Uh-huh.
And you want to fucking go out like that.
Has anyone streamed it? Huh? Has anyone streamed Paralitering? I coulda. So you wanna fly in the sky, and you wanna fucking go out like that? Has anyone streamed it? Huh?
Has anyone streamed Paralitering?
I don't- I imagine someone- Nooo.
But I- I thought- after I found out that the YouTuber died, I was like,
a little close at home. That guy died?
No, no, there's another YouTuber who has like, like 12 million subscribers,
watching this- who passed away doing it.
watching this and being like, now that I know it's dangerous, I don't wanna do it.
What the fuck did you think? But you're just a guy in the fucking sky? Uh, well yeah, like, anecdotal helps, like I did sky's dangerous. I don't want to do it. What the fuck did you do? But you're just a guy in the fucking sky.
Well, yeah, like anecdotal helps. Like I did skydiving.
But if it turned out that I did the tandem skydiving
and then I found out right before that YouTuber died skydiving,
I'd be like, eh.
Yeah, like if Carl went down.
Yeah.
Maybe I don't get on.
If Carl in a Mr. Beast video was supposed to skydive out of a plane
and he's supposed to land like Iron Man that he died
If they made a two-seater paramotor no and you had the option to go with slime or without slime
Which which world would you feel safer in a hundred percent without slime?
There's never been a two-person paramotor crash in history the odds are crazy you'd never No, it's not. You just pitched a video about shooting him. Non-lethal. Non-lethal.
There's never been a two-person paramotor crash in history.
The odds are crazy.
You'd never... Just like factually riding a vehicle, like a Vespa, was the first ever to die.
Can I get the sample size on that?
Riding a Vespa with two people is harder than riding a Vespa with one person.
So I imagine paramotors...
So you want it to be...
You want good things to be easy for you.
What a weird twist.
I don't know what he's talking about. He doesn't want things to be easy for you. What a weird twist.
I don't know what he's talking about.
He doesn't want things to be difficult.
Typical.
This is toxic.
Yeah.
What's toxic?
You.
What?
I'm saying if I'm going to paramotor, which has inherent risk, I would like to do it in a safer fashion.
Fine, then who do you want to be with it?
Who do you want with you?
Carl?
Connor? She done?
I was, I was-
Why are you so jealous?
You're lashing out.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
So you have to choose someone in the second seat.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
In this hypothetical world, you have to.
In this hypothetical world, you do have to.
You said with someone or without someone.
No, with slime or without slime.
With slime or without slime.
But you're right.
I don't blame you for being misunderstood here.
I was assuming solo.
I didn't mean that, but now I'm changing it.
You're changing it now.
It's different now. Yeah. I bet you do. for being misunderstood here. I was assuming solo. I didn't mean that, but now I'm changing it. You're changing it now.
It's different now.
So I have to have another human?
Yeah.
I bet you do.
I pick someone not as fat.
Bro, I weigh 175.
I know.
It's going to take me down, dude.
None of us can qualify.
I guess Amon can qualify.
Can I make the cut?
I'm going for like-
I weigh less than that.
I'm going for somebody a buck 20. I weigh less than that. Who am I going for? I'm going for somebody a buck 20.
Who am I going for?
I'm going for like Otto.
Dude, you can't just choose based on weight.
Who do you take?
I'm not taking you because you want it too bad.
It's Connor.
You want it too bad.
You're taking Sea Dog VA.
No, who am I?
I have to take one person?
Yes.
I'm flying to fucking McDonald's.
Okay, I probably can't be cutie because she would never get on. Yeah. You think her fear would transfer to paramot person? Yes. I'm flying to fucking McDonald's. Okay, it probably can't be Cutie
because she would never get on.
Yeah.
You think her fear
would transfer to paramotors?
Yeah, yeah.
No, it would be different.
She'd feel way better.
But she would look up the stats
and she would see,
oh, the only one in history.
The stats, by the way,
are definitely worse.
You keep bringing it up
and you know the stats.
Zipper, how many paramotor crashes
happen a year?
Cutie's actually only scared of planes
because she distrusts the FAA.
That's true.
It's not stat space anyway.
And if the method of flying is unregulated, then she'll be happy to do it.
She hates regulation.
She wants a libertarian system.
Yeah, she hates federal regulations and agencies.
She wants people without licenses.
Happiest I've ever seen Cutie lately?
SVV bank crash.
Let's see.
She's like, yep,
let it play out.
One fatality every year
out of 1,504 users.
That's pretty bad.
One in 1,500 is...
No, that's pretty good.
This is...
One in 1,500 is insane.
We went to skydiving
and it was one in 500,000
and you were like,
eh, maybe we should do...
All right, let's play the game.
Let's play the game.
Zipper, can you go to random number generator
and do 1 to 1500
and then each of us guess a number and then he
rolls it and we'll see if we would have died.
Alright, my number is 986.
Okay.
My number is 777.
Lucky baby.
Mine is 69.
Wait, why would you...
No, it starts with 1.
And then yours? 20. Wait, why would you- No, it starts with one. It starts with one. Oh, oh.
1504.
And then yours?
20.
Alright.
Generate!
1504.
Yeah.
Oh, 1497.
We're safe.
We're all safe.
Great year.
We're a great year.
We're kind of close, though.
How is 1777?
Closer than us.
That's fine.
What were we up to in 1497?
Anyone know?
Bad shit.
That was literally five years after Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
Yeah, he totally did that.
Yeah, I believe you.
Okay.
He watched the second Instagram reel.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
We went on the moon.
He fucked up.
Christopher Columbus is real.
I did read all that.
An entire Twitter thread about why it's called America.
Really?
Yeah.
That sounds like my kind of shit.
Can you give me the mobile mail?
Just some guy named Amerigo.
No.
Who's Italian.
That's like what I would do if I was naming it.
Who just drew a map.
That's it.
He was a cartographer.
Imagine if we lived in North Aden.
That'd be so cringe.
And it was just called North Aden instead.
The United States of Aden.
That would, I mean, and like he was just the guy.
He likes it. You like that? Yeah. South Aden that would I mean I'm like he was just the guy
You like that
South Aden London's named after Ludwig no
We what yeah ruler a ruler named King Ludwig who how do you get from London?
That signed you up for the gym five years ago
Yes, sir the number the guy who said your name wrong that that signed you up for the gym five years ago yes sir that was the funniest shit ever but he's like he just keeps calling ludwin like he was slightly annoyed but also just like perplexed like how did this happen we just called him
ludwin for five years he's just reading the first part of the name and it was like yeah i probably
got it our accountant also says that I'll be on a call with her
back when I did a lot
of accounting stuff
and she'd be like,
and so when Ludwin,
it's like, it's been two years.
I get a lot of Lugwig.
That's crazy.
Lugwig?
Lugwig.
Lugwig is awesome.
I get Roderick.
No.
That's just impossible.
That's like a Yanny Laurel
situation, I think.
Roderick?
Roderick, yeah.
How is that even possible? Yeah, that's Yanny Laurel situation, I think. Roderick? Roderick, yeah. How is that even possible?
Yeah, that's Yanny Laurel.
I don't know.
You gotta fess up.
Who said Roderick?
It's like when I would work at AppleCare, I had a lot more cold calls with random strangers.
Oh, and you say to them, and they repeat it back.
I'm at AppleCare, and they go, oh, hey, Roderick.
All right, Roderick.
That was like one in 20.
I was saying your name's Ludwig, and they were like, okay. Anyway. All right. Yeah, I would call you fucking Roderick all right Roderick that was like one in 20
It's too it's too early for this shit for this podcast it's 2 p.m.
It's too early for the we meant to be a clock I looked at it
What are you a clock boy? What is this guy this guy pussy boy? What are you, a clock? I looked at it. What are you, a clock? Pussy boy.
What is this guy?
What is this guy?
Pussy boy.
What are you doing right now?
You can't go back to this.
You can't go back to this.
Dude, I attacked what?
Bullying.
Oh, pussy boy era?
Pussy boy era.
I'm in my pussy boy.
It's pussy boy summer.
I thought you were in your content era.
What happened?
It's PBS. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Reason to stay at the very least Valorant
YouTube ideas want to come in a content creator Nick is what if we got what if we like went and kissed as many girls possible
We did really be a dill is miss bro. You're 26
Are you you have 20? Dude? You're the next Rob deer dick
What's up y'all this is ridiculousness
The fucking bed, I don't know I saw y'all, this is ridiculousness. I'm here with the fucking best.
I don't know.
That was good.
It's like that TikTok guy.
His name's Squeezy.
Squeezy turns it on.
Oh, Squeezy Jibs?
Yeah, that guy.
You guys always bite my shit.
Yeah, what's that?
Why aren't you starting your journey?
What are you scared about?
You're scared to start streaming?
Because then I'm like... I'm the pussy boy.
It is pussy boy summer, I guess.
We're in the stream.
We're in the stream.
It's pussy boy summer.
Pussy boy summer, too scared to go live.
Where we don't go live all summer.
Yeah, we just stay real quiet Don't do anything
Listen boy
Summer I'm insecure
I'm staying indoors
We're going boogie boarding
It's not happening
No extreme sports
Why?
What's going on?
I don't know
I just like
Cause I
If I want to do it
I want to do it right
And I'm stuck in that like
Paralysis phase
Where you're just like
Instead of just doing it
Like what you actually need to do with with YouTube or with
What just like turning on a stream? I have YouTube ideas to and stuff
That's the thing all the shit you say no to like the runoff if you think about it that way it doesn't need it to be
Demanded that's true. Do your fishing stream? I
Can't because the part of it was getting
hammered and I needed Ludwig to do that
but you would break edge for that stream
no I would just be with him
what if we go on a boat and then we play
a fishing VR on the boat
what?
we're not actually fishing
we're playing a fishing VR
simulator on a boat
you can see my expression change when you bring the second part up.
And I'm not done.
There's a gun on the boat with us.
Okay.
With bullets in it?
And there's one bullet.
And it's a no-loads-refused boat.
There's a sign.
And whoever catches the most fish gets to shoot the other person.
All right, man.
But also has the option to refuse their load?
No loads refused.
Right.
That was the first time it was said with that intonation.
Yeah.
That's like when you're booking the convention center at the hotel
and they're asking what the rules are and you're like, oh, no, load your feet.
No, load your feet.
Yeah.
Yeah, and 30,000 shares.
Yeah, you like that?
You know what?
You got a deal.
No, we're going to need a third line.
We're going to need a third line
for that corner of the room
and maybe you could refuse a couple.
I don't know.
I think about, you know what?
Maybe you do have
some good ideas.
I catered that
so you would like it.
I don't know if you,
I don't know if you caught on.
You think,
we go to,
we go to Marlboro Island
and we,
we fish naked
and we,
and there's skateboards.
And we're all farting
as loud as we can.
Yeah,
big farts,
big farts.
There's a big rug. And there's water. We got a lot of sardines. And we're all farting as loud as we can Big farts And there's a big rug
And we all play Final Fantasy 7
And then there's Resident Evil Hour
And then we play
And it's like
It's like Metal Gear
We're dressed as all snakes
At the end we burn Dave Grohl at the stake
It's like Coachella but with an effigy Everybody makes their own Dave Grohl at the stake. It's like Coachella, but with an effigy.
Everybody makes their own Dave Grohl effigy.
Why?
And then we ember.
And the ugliest ones burn first.
I want you to know you've had a profound impact on me.
Because the amount that you've been hating on Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters,
I've become a fan of the Foo Fighters.
Really?
This makes a lot of sense.
I feel like there needs to be a correction.
So I didn't even like them before,
but now I'm like, yeah, I fuck with the Foo Fighters.
No, dude, Ludwig is the best.
You're going to like him a lot.
He writes Vespa, he likes the Foo Fighters.
He's just a tier one homie.
God, you sound fucking miserable.
It's your stats on paper.
He's French, loves the Foo Fighters,
writes the Vespa.
Love the Foo Fighters.
I'm listening to him writing my Vespa.
Hey, what if I said I'm not like the others?
I did tell him.
Because I was messaging Ludwig just like as a friend.
And to just like say funny things.
And I said, I sent him a tweet that just said,
Big Tesco, but it's in the Dark Souls font.
And then I said, stream idea. And then he didn't message me dark souls font and and then i said stream idea and
then he didn't message me for a day and then i said miss ludwin under and then the people who's
drinking a juice box and crying and then when ludwin under used to respond to me and then the
business and then i said it's okay man we will always be friends for one million years
and that's the one you replied to.
To be fair, those were rapid fire.
You just got a stroke in the ear.
That was a rapid fire triple shot.
You didn't reply to my good YouTube idea either.
Well, it's not really mine, Zipper2's idea.
But we send it.
Oh my God.
We test for real how many kids an adult can take in a fight.
And we hire a bunch of kids.
Yeah.
A bunch of cool kids.
Cool kids.
Don't call them that. Don't bunch of cool kids. Cool rad kids.
Don't call them cool kids.
Why?
Because it sounds weird if you say it with that intention.
Do you want little ass nerd ass pussy ass kids?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
I want little ass nerd ass pussy ass kids.
I want 29 year olds dressed like this.
All right.
We get a bunch of pussy ass kids.
And we run them all at you.
Yeah.
And you take them all.
You take as many out as you possibly can.
And they're all wearing pads
so they're safe. Are they armed?
They're armed to the nines.
They're armed to the nines, baby.
You're so gun-pilled. That's what's gross.
I just have to understand.
America-pilled. But basically they could have
like a chain or a tiny bat.
Why tiny?
I don't know.
I don't think they should be armed. I don't think they should be armed.
I should be armed.
I don't think I should be armed.
Maybe like a really
low durability plank of
wood. I think the way
to legally do this is to
put them in little sumo costumes
for little kids
and then if they fall over, they're done.
But then you could
just do one like Tatsumaki
and then it's over.
You think I'm just, like I have that in me?
Like I'm just going to like fucking...
Yeah, it's just, it's quarter circle back,
medium kick.
Right.
I'm just going to spin the leg around.
How funny would, it would be a gift for,
like used for years
if it's just a bunch of kids running at Lund
and he's just strong arming them.
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
It would.
Yeah.
I said I'm down.
I said I love the idea.
And then instantly I was like, all right, what's the logistics?
And you're like, ah, it's a bit of a nightmare.
Yeah.
See, that's the difference.
That's me.
I'll be real with you.
He's like, we actually kill the kids.
Yeah.
That is what you would do.
But yeah, I got follow through.
What can I say?
That's not good.
That's not good. That's not good.
You're saying,
you're like at a job interview
sometimes when you talk to us.
That's not a good thing
to follow through on.
Don't follow through
on killing them.
No, no, don't make the noises.
Don't make the noises.
What do you want from me?
I keep it fucking real.
You just live
in this cacophony
of good ideas
that you will never use isn't it gross
Okay, well content creators time I would love to see you
You think drew gooden is sitting on a backlog this way you better be careful cuz you're gonna will snipe us
Drew gooden is gonna be like I killed 30 kids for real
I'm gonna be like whoa what miss 30 kids for real. And we're gonna be like, Whoa!
Whoa, missed the buck on that one.
And 47 million views.
I don't think-
I won't rub your nose in it!
I won't.
I won't.
I don't think you've seen a Drew Gooden video before.
I did, I saw the Tom Brady one.
I won't rub your nose in it.
But I will let you-
I'll let the videos speak for themselves.
Dude, we were at a content meeting,
Oh my god.
We were at a content meeting,
and we were talking about a video that was like,
really long, and Slime's like, Oh, my God. We were at a content meeting, and we were talking about a video that was, like, really long.
And Slime's like, oh, it's like Drew Gooden.
Well, I did say the funniest thing ever.
And Lutz's brain just, like, breaks, and he's like, wow.
It was so long.
And I struggle to explain.
And Lutz is in the car, and it's funny.
He's driving, and he says so so genuinely he's like I think I think you're probably the worst person
And making analogies for youtubers, but I do see what you're saying
And you're right
And I thought that was really funny
So you shut us out and be like we're gonna miss a beast here
And I'm like what do you mean we're gonna put an ad in it?
It's gonna have like a sponsored segment
We're gonna spend money on the video I was watching this like
Two hour documentary about the Fed
Yesterday and I was watching it
And I was like this is kinda like Drew Good
I'm saying bro
It was long
It was longer than 28 minutes
You guys are the freaks
Cause I said I watched a Drew Gooden video
and I said I liked it.
Ludwig literally made this face.
Really?
Not that he doesn't like Drew Gooden,
but he just thought
I would be such a hater.
I don't expect you to like Drew Gooden.
I just didn't think you'd watch
his very content.
You don't like watching
usually YouTube videos.
Yeah, but he's got a riz.
What does that mean?
Explain to us what riz means.
He's charming.
I like his personality. You're saying a riz is like a 50-year- what Riz means. He's charming. I like his personality.
You're saying Riz is like a 50-year-old says Riz.
He's funny, and he makes good cuts, and it's just like I followed along.
Would you refuse to love from him?
Oh, no.
Well, it depends on what the sign says, but.
Oh, it depends now.
Right.
Yeah, now it depends.
Well, I'm a rule follower.
No, you're not.
I thought you were a rule breaker.
Yeah, you also flex that you like to break the rules.
No, I don't. I'm a rule follower who doesn't play by the rules do you think not taking the load sign or no sign shows a lack of follow-through yeah i'm sure it's
a hard one right because like do i want to refuse a load if like the sign said like that makes me
like a lamer right like taking a load a load is like, is like cool.
Yeah.
At least be a dweeb.
Yeah, that is true.
Like dweebs are saying no loads for me.
But some dweebs are saying all loads for me because I follow rules.
That's what the sign says.
No loads refused.
So I'm a.
Well, let's say there's a sign that says be based.
What do we do?
Be based, right?
Is that related to loads?
Yeah, because it's like, you walk in, let's say you want to be counterculture, well it's
like, well I'm not based.
It's like, well now you're not based.
So we walk into a room, and it says, no loads refused is the first sign.
And then you tilt your head, you see another sign that says, be based.
And you're questioning, like, how do you escape the room?
No, I'm just just it's a thought experiment
you cocksucker do you guys feel like that was justified that was really clear cut that was
do you understand yeah it's it's like you guys are trying to get me you guys trying to capture me
in like a logic cube yeah for your mind. I'm saying that if a sign says
be based
and you don't do that to defy
the sign, now you're not based.
But if you are based, you're following the rules.
So it doesn't mean that all rules are inherently
bad. I think the last three minutes
has not made any sense.
No, it's because. God damn it.
This is one of those podcast clips
where somebody who doesn't know us clips this entire conversation
and it's like white men should kill themselves on Twitter.
This is our ice cream on the conveyor belt at the store moment.
Oh no.
I told you it's too early, bro.
It's 2.45.
2.45.
Can't be doing this shit.
Yeah, this is definitely our Twitter clip,
like, stop letting white people have podcast clips.
Please spread that.
Spread that moment everywhere.
Clip it perfectly.
God, I wish it was fucking hat on.
We should stage one.
We should stage one where we think people will spread it.
We'd have to study some of those.
We'd have to go into the trenches.
I don't think we'd have to study hard, buddy.
It'd be so easy.
We can go to the finance podcast direction.
I think women don't know what the president is.
That's too far.
So what do you mean, like, talking?
What do you mean?
Do you guys hate
the talking phase?
I feel like that shit
is whack.
I'm waiting for you
to green light
our fresh and
fit crossover episode.
What's that?
So let's do the math.
How the fuck
are you supposed to live
on half a million?
I don't fucking understand
how you are supposed
to live on 500 million
for the rest of your life. Because my femoid costs half that. I got femoid. I don't fucking understand how you are supposed to live on 500 feet for less than a year.
Because my Femoid costs half that.
I got- I got a Femoid. I'm not gonna kill you.
I like when you say it like that, my Femoid. It sounds like an android woman that you need to like maintain with parts.
You're just living-
I gotta get an oil change and shit.
It's your fucking- your budget if you lived in Ex Machina.
Yeah. My fucking Fem voice box I can't replace.
And her firmware's old.
Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Shit.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Do you ever put deodorant in your belly button to help it smell better?
Be honest.
He asked you a question, so answer it.
Deodorant in your belly button.
I have to answer this? I feel like you have a deep belly button. He asked you a question, so answer it. Do you want to rain your belly button?
I have to answer this. I feel like you have a deep belly button.
Ludwig, just answer the question.
Like deep in a weird way.
No, I've never done it.
Wow.
Maybe you should.
Boy, do I have a product for you.
I'm feeling dumb now.
Wish I had one.
You wish you had what?
A belly button?
Can I try that?
Is that deodorant?
Yeah.
Let me try it.
Native deodorant.
Oh, it's like the one at the grocery store that's like eye level.
Here's the thing.
We care about our bodies.
I care about your body, Ludwig.
I care about it more than most people.
Yeah.
Your body, I think about a lot.
Do you understand me?
Dang it.
That's surface level.
Aiden, give him a sniff.
Oh, yeah.
I'll get a little deeper.
Aiden, give him a sniff.
Okay.
Keep talking, son.
There are scents that you can put in your belly button while Aiden sniffs like warm cider
and cinnamon.
No, no, no.
Crouch down. Cashmere and rain. No, no, no. Crouch down.
Cashmere and rain.
What's that like?
Toasted marshmallow vanilla.
It smells good.
You like it?
And Aiden likes it a lot.
Yeah, because it's warm cider.
It's aluminum free.
It uses natural ingredients.
It actually smells really nice.
72 hour over protection in your belly button.
I've been putting this on in the shower, cashmere and rain.
Don't you understand?
I smell like cashmere and rain.
I'm wearing it too.
That's all I'm saying. So all I'm saying
is I am tired of having
to care about your body for you.
Because you don't clean it unless he
says something. Nick, smell and feel fresh
all day long with Native.
Get 20% off your first order.
Stop it. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Listen to me.
I care about your body.
You interrupted the fucking verbatim ad read to repeat that. Listen to me. I care about your body.
You interrupted the fucking verbatim ad read to repeat that.
I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm done.
All right, I'll do it.
Nativedeo.com slash er.
That's Nativedeo.com slash er. Use promo code of the yard at checkout.
Shut up.
For 20% off your first order.
You know what I would do for you?
I would do anything. Native, go to Nativedeo.com slash er. That's what I would do for you? I would do anything.
Native, go to native.com.
That's what I want you to do.
I understand.
That's what I want you to go to native.com.
And now we'll go back to the episode
and Slime will not say anything.
Let's go to the episode.
Let me get the Slime hot take.
Ooh.
Let me get the Slime hot take.
You're soliciting it?
I want to solicit a hot take from you.
Ooh, I usually don't, I'm not in this spot.
There's rumblings right now.
Rumblings?
That are going to switch up the content world.
In the jumblings? Have you heard
about this? Wait, does it say cream pie on your
sweater? It says champion.
Okay, go on. It's a champion sweater. Go on.
No, but you know champion. Is that French for cream pie?
I want you to
champion. You guys
know this word.
My father
champion. My mother
says it was me. Stop, father, he chomped on my mother and it says, it was me!
Stop, stop, pause, pause, pause. You think a Frenchman would explain this? Conception.
Where do you think the word comes from? Are you talking about cream pieing? In France
it's not taboo. In France it's just how you say, you know, sexual intercourse. How else
would you describe consent?
Have you been to France?
I thought you were going to ask if I've ever been to cream pie.
I've never been to France.
Follow up.
Follow up.
You've never been to cream pie?
I've never been to cream pie.
Okay.
Yeah.
So let's not answer that combo.
So you do refuse loads.
Which one of those do you think is more important to answer this question?
This coming up question? Like his point this question? This coming up question?
His point about saying...
This coming up question has little to do with everything.
Little to do is false?
None of my sister moved to France?
No.
Why are you saying it like that?
Wait, really?
You said it like she moved to a fucking third world country and she's not doing well.
Why are you saying that?
Don't make that face.
France is doing great right now.
They have a lower retirement age.
They have a better social welfare.
They're literally rioting.
Did she go to riot?
No, she did not fly there to riot.
Did she burn a car?
She didn't burn a car.
You get off the plane, you burn a car before you get to your fucking house.
You don't do that.
You don't do that in France.
Yes, you do.
You had to get out of the border to riot.
Yes, you did. You get to your fucking hotel. You don't do that in France. Yes, you do.
You get to immigration,
you sign up for a labor union,
and you burn the car.
You buy a good French burger.
So you think like, okay, in America you get interrogated.
In Japan you get a COVID test.
In France you have to riot.
You get creamed pie.
Oh, absolutely.
At the airport.
No, that's Monaco.
It's a city-state within France where they get creamed pie. It's not a city-state within France. It's not a fucking sky lounge for half an hour. It's a city-state within France
Fucking skyline for half an hour country different apart France. It's a city-state within France. It's a what no it's not
It's a city said whoo zipper this country, but can a country be a city-state a city-state that it's not a part of France
I know but can a city be a state in France? Yeah, like Singapore, I guess.
What if the sign says be based?
If a city...
Oh!
Do a dance.
Do a little dance.
Do a dance.
Do a little dance.
You said it's a part of France.
Sovereign.
Sovereign is the opposite of a part of.
No, I said it's in France.
It's not within France.
It's literally.
It borders the ocean.
It's literally.
It is literally within France.
This is like saying Canada is within the United States because it's attached to.
No.
It is.
No, what a disingenuous little prick.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is Monica landlocked by France?
Oh, because there's a little strip of ocean.
All of it.
The entire coast of Monaco is on the water.
This is how I would have voiced Sony if they knew about geography.
Knob.
Knob.
The entire coast.
Knob.
Half of Monaco is on the water.
Knob.
Knobby prick.
I don't even know about where Monaco is.
It is within France.
It's not within.
It's not within.
Oh, my God.
What do you mean by that?
Oh, my God. You just say things. I's not within. Oh my God. What do you mean by that? Oh my God.
You're just saying things.
I want to do your gun idea with Aiden.
Yeah.
I think you have to admit that I was right because it's a city-state.
And I feel like you are now trying to argue on the definition of bordering.
Singapore is a city-state within Malaysia.
Not true.
Yeah.
Not true.
Same thing.
I wish I knew where these places are.
Why not?
City-state is not attached.
It just borders that country. Because it's I can't follow, but this is bad.
Because it's so much more in France. It is literally not within.
It's so deep in France's frussy that you're not accepting that.
It's cream pie in France.
You think Singapore and Malaysia don't have similarities?
Do you think Monaco is cream pie in France?
So, okay.
No, if anything, Monaco is the cream pie in France's ass.
Wait, wait, wait.
So let's back up.
Let's back up.
Let's back up. You don't let's back up you don't accept
Independent I know it's independent, but I'm saying you don't accept the phrase it is a
Monica would you accept that Vatican is a city-state in Italy I think if you said yeah because it is
Literally is so how much ocean is too much?
It means how much ocean is too much ocean? It means how much ocean is too much ocean?
If it's landlocked within another country then what you said would make sense
So if there was a single inch of ocean
An inch?
It had a one inch beach
It was an inch wide beach
Technically it's not landlocked
Oh you
Can you type in Monaco?
You knobhead
You knobhead
You nonsense
So you're saying that because it has a...
He's saying because it has a beach that doesn't technically... That place is called Nice.
Oh, this is a hard one.
Why don't we, like, call Rainbow.
Call Rainbow.
Who owns the ocean?
Who owns the ocean?
Call Rainbow.
I don't have his number like that.
Call France.
No, but this is...
You see what I'm saying.
Call your sister.
Call your sister.
Who owns the ocean?
Wow.
That's a good question.
That's what we need to figure out. Who owns the water? Wow That's a good question. That's what we need to figure out who owns the water
Oh God, I think when you say city-state within something it implies that it's a part of what if they own the water if France
owns the water my right that France owns the water my right. That's a good question if France owns the water is he right?
France owns the me-
No, it's not hypothetical.
Monaco owns the water. The country if you have coastline you own the water a certain amount of like miles or kilometers off the coastline. How can you own water if France owns the water. The country, if you have coastline, you own the water a certain amount of miles or kilometers
off your coastline.
What if France owns the water after
Monaco's water? They don't.
What if they do?
Is Sardinia a sovereign nation
or is Sardinia France?
I don't know.
What about Corsica? Because Corsica is
French-owned. I don't think Corsica is a nation.
Corsica is French-owned territory. That means the ocean that extends around Corsica is if Corsica is French owned cars Corsica is a nation Corsica is a French owned territory
Stands around Corsica is
I know but what if the French ocean then it's the Monaco ocean. Yeah that way it's all
Marine law comes in
Call Jimmy that guy
What am I right I just spawn I'll be marine. Go ahead.
Am I right?
What?
Am I right?
I just spawned as a marine.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What?
I don't want to get through it all.
Go fight someone in the water.
Okay.
You go kill someone in the water.
Slime.
Yeah.
There's a big change happening.
Wait, hold on.
What's the conclusion here?
You still haven't asked the question.
No, no.
We'll talk in the comments.
The comments will figure it out. I'm right.
So you think you're right.
Just please, briefly for the audience,
state your two positions.
I think my original statement...
I would like to do that.
My original statement is that
Monaco is a city-state within France.
Aiden disagrees.
Now, at the first part,
he disagreed with the phrase city-state,
but then he quickly caught on
because it was Googled
that that is the correct terminology,
and he latched onto the beach, so he's trying to find his technical right out and he believes that
because monaco borders water the water makes it not within france and it is totally separate
much like canada to the u.s time very succinct aiden i believe that they're higher he says
within higher pitched within to interpret a little quiet
Yes, miss Susan Open Kahoot and put your answer in now. That's great. Anyway, vote on your vote.
Open Kahoot and put your answer in now.
What's your question, buddy?
What do you think about the TikTok ban?
That's not happening yet.
It's like really serious now.
Is it?
Yeah, before Donald Trump tried to ban it and then it got stopped by like litigation.
But now that, as far as I'm aware layer has been removed so biden could sign it
with just an executive order and it wouldn't go to courts uh i don't care really well okay here's
the thing wow so like as much as i don't like tiktok and what it's done to like content and
for instance or just the idea of like how people interpret media one time i told
somebody in the yard discord for the patreon that my favorite movie was blue velvet and then that
person later on that day said i watched it didn't really understand it and then they later admitted
that they watched it on 2.5x speed which which was like i was like that was so awesome i was like i
don't know what to tell you i I don't know what to do here.
Right?
Like where there's a difference in everything.
I said,
I said,
I'm sure you're nice,
but please don't ever talk to me again.
I was actually really,
really neutral about it.
Yeah.
Usually I'm like meaner to people.
It is.
It's crazy.
And so there's this like
idea of like I don't like what TikTok
has done but also I realize how it's important
and how like millions and millions
and millions of human beings like it
even though it sucks cannot fuck with
shit like that so I think
there's two things that'll happen someone will just make
a new TikTok for America.com
and maybe that's like
helps like alleviate the stress
or something I don't know but it's not For America dot com. And maybe that's like helps like alleviate the stress.
Vine.
Or something.
I don't know.
Vine too.
Vine.
It's not going anywhere.
It'll happen again.
You could get 100,000 followers on TikTok in six months.
Yes.
I would do it by pranking you guys.
I thought about this.
What?
What's your cap?
How many followers can you get in a six month period?
I don't know the match. I don't know numbers.
Like, do you get a mil?
I don't know. I literally don't spend enough time on the app to know. I can't think of a six month period? I don't know the match. I don't know numbers. Do you get a mil? I don't know. I literally
don't spend enough time on the app to know. I can't think of
a bigger nightmare in my life
than me trying to get fucking famous.
No. Yeah, bitch. No.
Slime. Are you trying to hold them down, bitch?
Slime hungry for followers at our
expense. Oh, yeah. That sounds
like a gremlin. That sounds great.
See, that's it. I'm walking
in my house scared every day.
That's why we've always been boys.
I'd love for you to take on that challenge.
Dude, you already scared the shit out of me for just the sake of it.
I know. That's the love of the game.
That's different. Hold on. Yeah, would it
change your love of the game, though? I think I would
become a slightly different person, yeah.
That's why I haven't done it. Think about that shit.
You'd become a...
You're a pussy boy who's too scared to fucking go live because you want it to be polite.
It's hashtag pussy boy season.
All right.
Bro.
Yeah, you should not do it then.
It'll ruin your charm.
Wait, so TikTok's just out now?
Maybe.
It's maybe out.
Probably.
And if it is, it's a net...
It's just a net benefit.
You cannot know...
It's not.
You can't fuck with people's shit like that.
Like, this is what human beings,
normal human beings who work normal ass jobs
and live their life,
things like TikTok and shit is how they like enjoy themselves.
And if you just take that away arbitrarily,
it's too much.
I like TikTok.
As much as I hate it, I recognize that it's like,
this is what a lot of people like.
We should stop letting therapists use TikTok.
I mean, everyone should stop using it.
Therapists?
Therapists, realtors, fucking people who like-
Just go take stuff.
Yeah.
People who like remake leather.
Yeah.
No one needs a platform.
I like the leather guy.
I do too.
I don't fuck with the realtor guy.
It's the fucking, when the race war comes and we got to kill Tony Hawk.
Yeah.
It's that.
We come for him too.
We come for the guys that power wash rugs.
Those guys are so great.
I know.
What about the free lawnmow guy?
Everyone goes.
Wow.
That's tough.
Everyone goes.
One of the Karens comes with a gun for this video.
What do you think of it, pussy boy?
What's up with Pussyboy season?
I just love the idea of like, Pussyboy
Parliament.
What is that? A bunch of British guys.
Here ye.
All rise for the Pussyboy anthem.
It plays Jason Derulo.
It plays two chings.
It plays right there by
Chingy.
Someone's crying
with their hat off.
What do you like?
What do you think about it?
How do you feel about it?
I like TikTok.
You feel sad?
I like it.
It's also funny
because it affects people
who are disconnected
from the normal human being
like you, right?
You live a meme life.
We all do.
But TikTok goes, that kind of sucks for you it affects your life which is hard to do and i think that's interesting i like tiktok this is funny videos you see love you see ludwig's serious
short well he posted a serious short oh yeah instagram the watch one yeah yeah oh i saw the
first four seconds of it and i didn't finish it. That's
Hilarious, I'll tell you the truth. It's so good. He's a human in his 15 seconds
But if it was about your dad, I would have stayed watching
I can't believe that you were bitching about this guy who watching 2.5 X speed you clicked out of a 20 second short about my dad
I didn't know it's about your dad
You have to watch five seconds of the video
to know that it's about his dad.
No, no, no, no.
Why does it cut off early on Instagram?
I don't know.
That's a ratchet question.
I haven't seen the Instagram post.
I don't know.
I was so sad.
It doesn't finish.
I was so sad.
I was like, I want to finish it.
Are you sure it doesn't finish yet?
This is one of the most valuable watches in the world.
How many views?
And it doesn't even work.
That's when I clicked off.
Because I was like, oh, it's Ludwig talking about
his fucking possessions again. What? What? You it doesn't even work. That's when I clicked off. Cause I was like, oh, it's Ludwig talking about his fucking possessions again.
What? What? You know what that watch is.
No, I don't. I didn't recognize it. You didn't know that watch?
No, I swear to God. You've lived with me for years.
Bro, I only know about your fucking ring and your dumb shirts.
You'll be friends a million years, though.
Yeah, a million years. A million years.
Don't even watch my goddamn video for 15 seconds.
Yeah, because I provide different things for you.
Like what?
Like fucking...
Ideas.
Call me pussy boy.
He could please you.
Talking about pleasing me, which you couldn't do.
If you let me try.
You couldn't do.
Mocking my heritage.
Right?
My people.
I've never mocked a Swede's ever.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
You definitely have.
Obviously not what I'm talking about.
Oh, okay.
So what are you talking about then? My cultural heritage. Which about. Oh, okay. So what am I what are you talking about? My cultural heritage, which is what the French you know this why you act
How do you know what a dually sock is?
Maybe I'm cultured.
Are you googling French stuff to make your accent better?
Do you do the French accent in your home?
Maybe it's a descent of respect.
Be real.
Do you do the French accent when I'm not around?
Is America I can do it?
Oh, dude, come on.
Don't do the French accent when I'm not around so you're better when I am around.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You don't want me to fucking practice for the big game?
No, because the big game is usually like,
and I get a cream pie in my pussy,
and I get a baby at the end of it.
Nine months, I guess.
It's about that long.
I take espresso.
I clench my fists. I go, ah, voila.
We call you Jean-Pierre.
Ah, bonjour, Jean-Pierre.
You are my little company at one point. Big bisous for you. call you jump jump yeah I'll be sure to appear you're going to come by a point
before you that that's it I thought you
provided I can do that and I can do this
baby
I practice for that?
Stay away from the fresh people.
Oh, man.
You got it.
You still got it.
Yeah, I appreciate it. I don't care what they've been saying.
They haven't been saying a lot.
They haven't been saying a lot.
Me and you, Peter.
Stop calling me.
You look more like Peter Griffin than me.
Peter.
We both have the same shit.
Yeah, but you got the belly.
Wait, hold on.
Don't talk to me. All right, do your best like Peter Griffin than me. We both have the same shit. Yeah, but you got the belly. Wait, hold on. Don't have the belly.
All right, do your best Peter Griffin.
Jesus Christ.
Bald Peter Griffin.
Jeez, Lois.
Quagmire said no, Lois refused.
You look a bald Peter Griffin.
I feel like Ted Niffison.
Yeah, you do sound like him a bit.
You look... tired?
But Nick looks...
Without Nick's glasses, he looks how cartoon
characters look without their glasses.
Yeah, they're squinting.
Yeah.
I'm looking at a broomstick.
I'm like, hey, Aiden.
Why aren't you talking
to me? Did I make you mad?
Hey, Lois. Hey, Lois.
Wow. Hey, Lois.
Hey, Lois. Stewie's grown up and he's an adult now.
I don't know. Lois didn't know?
Oh, Peter! Peter, he's so old!
Lois, you missed him.
You have decent family characters.
Yeah, it's way better than your French.
No. Okay, hold on. Hold on. You don't have those! Disagree. That's way better than your French. No, okay, hold on. I would disagree with you. You don't have those.
Disagree.
That's what he's known for.
I've been good at French.
Okay, you know what?
You shut me up.
You shut me up.
I won't do a French accent for six months.
If you nail to the bone a French Peter Griffin right now.
Okay, all right.
But it has to be someone with a Quahog accent still?
Kinda, yeah.
Wow. Okay, yeah. Wow. Uh.
Okay, fuck.
Uh.
Oh, hello!
Dude, what the fuck?
We made him weld it!
You just made a new sound!
That was the first time anyone sounded like that.
I don't know.
It's like an Escher painting in your head.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard.
That was so hard. That was so hard. That was so hard. That was so hard. That was the first time anyone sounded like that. I don't know.
It's like an Escher painting in your head.
That was so hard because you had to combine like two polar opposites.
You had to combine someone who's fucking like British, Irish, Boston with French.
Oh, Clayton Pye. That was decent. Oh, man. All right. Boston with French Climby
All right, we
Mr.. Bean tried to talk
I want to watch animated. Yeah, and I want it to be about you. I want to watch anime, Aiden.
Yeah.
And I want it to be about you.
Name 15 anime. I want to watch an anime about you.
Name 15 anime.
And your exploration of your own body.
Name 500 anime.
Five.
Okay.
You went from zero to 100 real quick.
Number one, Full House.
Full House is an anime.
Which is an anime.
Yeah.
Cory in the house.
No, also an anime.
It's also an anime. It's also an anime.
Why are you bullying him?
He's right.
I hate that meme.
The problem that I can't watch anime about your life, about your body, is because it
costs me money.
And I don't want to spend money on you because you're my friend.
And that's a weird barrier I don't want to cross.
Don't you get it?
So I have to torrent the anime about you.
Wait, wait.
Okay, guys.
Remember when we had that one clip that went viral about me talking about Nord VPN?
Yeah.
Well, they decided to sponsor this podcast.
Wouldn't it be funny if you guys all signed up for Nord and then they thought we were
really good partners who did a really good ad reads who sold a lot of Nord VPNs.
But it turns out, I think it's time as a meme.
It's time that we talked about Nord VPN in a practical way.
Look, here's the thing.
It encrypts your browsing activity.
Facts are, it is a VPN, so it has value.
It keeps you safe on public Wi-Fi.
Maybe you're at Starbucks and you want to...
Maybe you're beating off in the library.
You don't want Daddy Starb to know that you're beating off in the corner.
Look, the good news is if you are beating off in the corner,
every two-year plan receives four bonus months free.
That's the best part about NordVPN.
I want to watch Yowie.
Go to NordVPN.com slash the yard.
I want to watch Yowie.
Slosh the yard.
I want to watch a big-ass Yowie.
Slosh the yard.
Aiden and his big hands.
Look, NordVPN.com slash the yard.
You get 30-day money back if it doesn't work out for you.
Don't you understand?
Aiden is already a Yowie character. Get Nord, get in the library, and get 30 day money back if it doesn't work out for you. Don't you understand? Aiden is already
a yaoi character.
Get in the library
and get out
of this segment
of the podcast.
There is nothing there.
There is nothing
that we should
leave the threads
unanswered, I think.
You're great, man.
I watched this documentary
on TikTok.
I started watching
YouTube.
It was two hours.
It was like
it was about Africa. It was made in like
the 50s or 60s.
Africa was older than that for sure.
It's about
the modernization
of Africa
and it has like a lot of
war footage and civil war footage
and one of them, I forget where
they are. Maybe in Rwanda or Kenya
and
there are these guys in a car
and there's a bunch of soldiers.
They break open a car window
and they pull them out of the car
and they're carrying them.
There's this voiceover and it goes,
that's when the locals were taking us to get murdered.
And then they stop
and the local looks at his passport and he goes,
but then they looked at our passports and they realized we were Italian and not white.
What?
And I was like, what the fuck is happening in this documentary?
You actually watched the doc and didn't see the Twitter clip?
This is like exploded on Twitter.
No, it's okay.
That's right.
I thought I saw it on TikTok.
I saw the Twitter clip and then I went to watch the documentary.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Yeah.
They started with the Twitter clip.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
Does the rest of the documentary
have that same tongue-in-cheek action
as that clip?
It's not meant to be funny.
It's pretty gritty war footage
from when I was watching on it,
but it's two hours.
But we were POCs.
It's like this.
Why are you Hannibal Lecter?
I just slipped into Hannibal.
It's less Hannibal. It's more like why are you Hannibal Lecter? I just slipped into Hannibal. It's less Hannibal.
It's more like,
like kind of documentary Attenborough.
Okay.
Okay.
That's,
I mean,
what have I been saying?
I'm a bald POC.
Wow.
That's right,
man.
I'll let it hang for a bit.
Okay.
Say it again,
but for the Twitter clip,
you're a bald POC.
No,
no,
no,
no.
Make noise and stuff. So it's hard to hear I like this
Let's keep it for the Twitter clip
Raw unfiltered
That's all it is
Do you know the fucking Joe Biden soda
No what is that
You heard of the meme though
I've seen it typed out
The new meme is it's Donald Trump going
Obama and then it's Joe Biden biden going soda and then everybody cheers and it's just those two clips
back to back and then like later the shit ton of emojis or animated i've seen it like a hundred
times it's just joe biden if you can pull it up it's just joe biden yelling a bunch of states
that he has locked when he was running. And then he says, Minnesota.
But they just cut it out.
So he's just yelling soda.
Okay.
Or he was, he got put on Remy boys.
That's it.
That's the first thing I thought of.
Who's Remy boys?
They're like, I got this.
Oh, they didn't even say soda in that song.
Who knows what they say?
It says soda up.
Is that what it was?
Did you play it?
That's it.
Oh, that's what it is.
And then they do the Obama and they do like the little soy like sweet like.
Obama.
That's so weird.
You know what Ken Chen always loved bringing up when we were in the office?
He'd be like, he's like, dude, the way Donald Trump says China is fucking insane.
Because he'd say it in like this really like kind of like messed up way.
And as if to imitate like a Chinese person saying the word China.
And he would just do that all the time.
I wasn't that.
And just get away with it.
He did say it.
I feel uncomfortable doing it the way he did right now.
He said a lot of shit with stank.
I'm not doing an accent.
I'm just adding stank.
Trump did have stank.
I wasn't being racist.
I was just adding stank.
He threw a lot of hits, chutzpah, on a few words.
It's just chutzpah.
Like folks.
Yeah, it's just chutzpah.
The left hates chutzpah.
I think you hate chutzpah.
It's not racist if it's chutzpah. The left hates chutzpah. I think you hate chutzpah. It's not. I hate. It's not racist if it's chutzpah.
Do you think that, is that, do you think that?
I, look.
When you see such long bombs away, is it real?
I also feel like the Matrix attacks me for the way I say things, like best buy.
What, without a T?
You say it with a weird impression.
You always make fun of me for the way I say best buy.
No, I don't.
I've never done this. I think in private You say it with a weird impression. You always make fun of me for the way I say Best Buy. No, I don't. I've never done this.
I think in private
you say it normally.
I have a categorical list
of things I make fun of you for
and this has not ever landed.
Can we roll through top five?
I've literally...
Rough.
Sway's top five.
Rough, ether.
Wait, rough?
What's rough?
Instead of roof?
I don't say rough.
You say rum.
You say rough.
Room.
You say rum
all the fucking time.
Room. Room. i like my bedroom
bedroom my room my room my room you say rum bedroom bedroom say rum you say ether that one
kills me instead of either no he says instead of other the other one o-t-h-e-r he says ether
i don't first of all i don't say it slow and sexy yeah because you don't, first of all, I don't say it's slow and sexy. Yeah. Cause you don't do anything that way.
Oh man.
Come on.
Anymore.
Take that.
What do you mean anymore?
Like we had something.
You used to.
The other one.
Before the fame.
What else?
Before the fame.
Uh, there is, um, I make fun of, is it just word stuff?
Fuck man.
Where's, how deep is this list?
I mean, there's a lot.
I know I'm fighting out. No, you this list? I mean, there's a lot. I know.
I'm fighting out.
No, you're not.
I say this shit to you.
What's the top five not word things?
The Valorant.
Valorant.
Yeah, Zipper's right.
What's wrong with that?
Oh, that is fucked.
Isn't that fucked?
That is fucked.
What do you mean you say Valorant?
Because you always add the bob with your body to it.
You go, I'm just playing Valorant.
Oh, God.
No. What are you reading? I'm just saying the game. You go, I'm just playing Valorant. Oh, God. What are we doing?
I'm just saying the game.
I'm just saying Valorant.
Say it.
Valorant.
You just did it.
You just did it.
It was part of your Valorant.
He based his impression of you on that Bob.
That's how he's so good.
Valorant is the game.
What do you call it?
Valorant.
Valorant.
It's like an upside down E.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I have a hearing issue.
I don't see the difference.
You're lying.
You're a stupid lying piece of shit that no one likes.
I want to say it and then I want you to say it right after.
Valorant.
Valorant.
Valorant.
You're saying rant.
Right.
Ant.
Right.
Ant.
Can we look at the last three letters?
A-N-T.
What is that?
Do you realize that vowels have different sounds?
Why are you dodging?
I'm not dodging shit.
I see your argument.
I'm already beating it.
Have you seen Mike Myers talk about the Canadian accent?
Yeah.
No.
It's like that.
It's like Canadians, they have an upward inflection until they're done talking.
They'll be like, you know, hey, what's up?
How are you?
Like, what did you do today?
And that's when it's your turn to talk.
I don't say anything wrong.
You say Valorant.
That's fine.
I feel like I'm saying the word fine.
I also feel like room is fine.
Guys, guys, we can hash this out in the primo.
Okay?
Oh, we will hash it out.
Are we in primo time?
It's primo time.
It's primo time.
We've been having so much fun together.
I don't say words weird.
Wait, no?
Yes.
Oh.
Wait, we're like 15 minutes off.
You put a thumbs up on it.
We're 15 minutes off, you libs.
He gave us the thumbs up.
This is what's wrong with the fucking millennials.
You don't want to work.
You don't want to do your hour 30.
I just thought we were having so much fun that time was flying.
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
What, you disagree that we're having fun?
I'm just saying these libs show up late. They're trying to end 15 minutes early.
Wait, us?
These libs that I'm with, I didnbs show up late. They're trying to end 15 minutes early. Wait, us? These libs that I'm with. I didn't show up late.
Valorant. Don't just
say it. The other one. The other
one in my room
when I'm playing Valorant. I'm just saying hi.
Valorant. Cream pie.
I don't even know how you fucking... Valorant.
I've been
playing a lot of Rocket League. I play
every night right now. Yeah. I've learned that the most fun I've had playing a lot of Rocket League. I play every night right now.
I've learned that the most fun I've had gaming in a long time is being bad at a competitive game.
So you're kind of playing it casually,
even though you're playing in a ranked setting.
Playing with Yan and Yingling
and just being mercilessly mean to each other.
I don't like that.
Yan is the most...
Yan used to be such a nice guy.
I heard Yan yell for the first time.
It was crazy.
Wow.
Yeah.
This is bad.
They're getting toxic on Rodney Lee.
It's bad.
We were playing.
You said it's like a good thing.
I thought a good thing was coming.
We were playing.
We came out in the city.
We were like, we 2v1 each other in a group setting.
It's constantly just changing.
So like, Yingling, I don't remember what the situation was.
I was supposed to go for the ball, and I didn't. And Yingling goes, you are a fucking moron to me. And then Dan goes, dude, he called you a moron. That's fucked up
I wouldn't call you a moron
And Yingling's like, yeah, you call him a monkey
And then Yan's like, but moron's worse than monkey and I'm like moron is worse than monkey. And he's like no it's not and I'm like
Yeah, it's not and we're just switching and it's been a lot of fun. I don't like that Yeah, it's been become too evil. Yeah, you're making him evil. Yeah, it's good for him
It's not good. No, it's not
It was the two months where we left him to play Valorant alone with Dawson. Yeah came out a changed man
evil chow
Innocent child that like wanted to just play with the cute black chow
And then they start playing together
And then he spent too much time
It's really fucked up
I don't think we can bring him back
That's the thing
I don't want him back
Someone has to be nice in the call
I'm nice as fuck
Doesn't sound like it based off the story
I carry the team That doesn't feel like it based off the story. I'm very nice. I carry the team.
That doesn't feel like a nice thing.
That's a power dynamic.
Yeah, it feels like you're using that as an excuse to not be nice in a way.
Yeah, duh.
Absolutely.
I am not nice.
I'm the muscle.
When you started the sentence, I am nice in calls.
So you know that wasn't true.
This is what I did.
You're doing what I did right now.
They're getting Elo.
That's very nice of me.
Well, not really nice. Look at the score at the end of the game. This is what I did. You're doing what I did right now. They're getting Elo. That's very nice of me. Well, not really nice.
Look at the score at the end of the game.
I have all the goals.
I think it's good this way because I just sit and I listen and it's more entertaining
when they're mean to each other.
Yiggling is incredibly toxic in Rocket League chat.
Like we score one goal and he puts, you okay?
Question mark.
Like bad save.
You guys suck.
We're going to win the game.
He calls the score right when the game starts he says four three or whatever and uh his gamer tag
in rocket league is his full name oh we've talked about this because this has happened before yes
yeah and i'm and dude he will literally be like lmfa you guys fucking suck and his name is just
yingling nick i'm gonna get a fucking company company email about my personal assistant saying shit to some random ass guy.
AZ boys are like that.
I remember Mikey once dropped the address of a Dunkin' Donuts on the SoCal Melee page and said, meet me here.
He wasn't at the Dunkin' Donuts.
But there's an escalation system that happens.
They get rowdy quick.
Yeah.
They get angry fast.
And that's where you came up.
That is where I came up.
I came up with molded in anger.
Oh, you know, I'm taking melee a little more seriously now.
Are you?
I'm getting coaching.
From whom?
Majersk.
And I'm getting coached with Falcon.
I'm committing to Falcon.
Whoa.
Who's Majersk?
Because it sounds...
He's a really good Falcon player.
Okay.
And he likes us.
Cool. You know? And I'm tired He's a really good Falcon player. Okay. And he likes us. Cool.
You know?
And I'm tired of Falco bailing me out of situations.
So you're going to be fully Falcon?
Yeah.
I basically said, Mom, Dad, I don't want money anymore.
I'm going out on my own.
And you're going to keep it up.
And Falco is Dad.
Yeah, Falco is my dad.
You're sticking with your mom?
Who's your mom?
My mom's my real mom who died.
Okay. But Falco is... Respect. Respect. Is he a cream hider? You're sticking with your mom? Who's your mom? My mom's my real mom who died.
Okay.
But Falco is- Respect.
Is a cream pie.
Falco cream pied my dead mom.
Right.
And made Captain Falcon.
And made Captain Falcon, who is my brother.
That makes sense.
Your brother.
He's my brother's dad.
Who you want to connect with because you haven't spent enough time together.
And you're you?
I think.
Are you operating him like Remy?
Are you ratatouille-ing Captain Falcon?
Well, he's not real.
And you want to pull your brother's hair.
Yeah, I want to, yeah.
I think we're following.
No, this is good.
It tracks.
So it's pretty good.
I get it.
So I went to a tournament.
What's your goal?
I beat a Luigi.
What's your goal?
Actually, I just did it.
I beat a Luigi, so it's over.
That's really good for you
is luigi is falcon luigi hard for falcon no i don't think it is no it's just like you have
to know the matchup yeah true would you probably kill so i've been just like studying i don't
really have a goal right now i'm just like i want to get better i've never actually truly
applied myself to melee i just brute force like grinded it and so now i'm like i just want to show all my friends which is you guys what it's like when slime tries at something
pussy boys are you saying you haven't tried it melee till right now no not in this way i've
never looked up throw charts and shit for you want to like you want to basically have like a time
skip and then come back to us and then like i'm like ludwig puff and i'm like slime's easy this
could be light work and then you're like like then Delana then you're fucking then
you want to be like yeah that's what happens if you I'm try if you yeah yeah
yeah if you did this and then you went to whatever lawless or whatever and
you're beating Casper and you're beating who you're beating all of them and
you're losing the fiction of course but you're getting close and you come home and you're still losing
to Aiden, would you have achieved your goal?
I wouldn't.
No, if you did. I can't. You're asking me
imagine a new color. I can't.
If that happened, would you say,
I don't have enough cones in my eyes to see what you're saying.
Is there a nightmare scenario where
you still lose to me at the end of it?
No, I can swallow that pill
because it's kind of swag, right?
Like you being
everything you are,
everything,
all of your flaws.
Okay.
And all of your flaws.
Yeah.
And all the flaws.
Probably the other parts too.
And the way you say
ether and all of that shit.
All the flaws, yeah.
All the flaws included.
Valorant.
Is that seizing?
And I think it would still In the grand scheme of the cosmic
Energies be really funny
That you still just watch me
But with Aiden
He's just so
Smug about it
Are you still taking it seriously?
Yeah, like in a loose sense
Mom, daddy didn't go to lawless it's hard because
um also trying to practice with the premier team so we're trying to play premier for valorant and
we have a squad that we've been practicing with zian on it uh yeah it's me yan yingling dawson
and andrew that's. That's so toxic.
Bro, you guys are going to-
You should hear them, bro.
No.
You should hear them.
It's bad.
Are the comms bad?
No, I think it's going-
Dawson on the team is-
What is Premier?
This is to get into Challengers?
Do you know what Clash is in League?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're adding a Clash-esque mode to Valor called Premier.
So you play within your division, right?
No, wait.
You have to have your phone out and you play that while you play Valorant?
Yeah. That sounds fucked up.
Yeah.
They make you play two games
at the same time.
Is it like per division?
Like you are in your...
They haven't outlined
the specifics
of how it works
outside of there will be
built-in tournaments
in the game
and then the peak
of those tournaments
will get you directly
into Challengers
and Ascension.
It will connect
to the real pro leagues.
Right.
And they won't run
the open qualifiers the way they do now.'s gonna be so many cheaters oh and presumably you're
not you're just presumably we will not be at that level you're not going for challenger you're just
going to do well it is fun to practice as a team and play in those tournaments i think for me right
the main thing i'm doing with melee is i'm trying to play every day and i'm trying to apply a lot of the concepts that like turn a lot of the concepts that i was practicing with r2d2
the week after genesis into like functional habits so it's like uh turning and then i'm doing more
of honestly i'm just trying to like watch jmook more and like copy some of the stuff that i can
like reasonably do for sure i'm by i'm super
biting but i think the main thing that i'm working on is like there's and this he'll probably focus
on this as well and millie was talking about this too is melee uh learning how to move out of crouch
as fast and as consistently as possible and i just try to boot up and focus on that like one thing and do that basically over and over again
until I can like move and act out of crouch
in like a consistent manner.
I've ascended beyond the need
for my mortal body to play video games.
In general?
I'm just a...
You play Valorant.
I'm just, nope.
I am just a vassal
that watches Moist Moguls
because I feel way more hype
when those fuckers crush
Yeah, you're retired now when I wear a tired gamer even in my peak though. You mean competitive games
Yeah, I see you playing Valorant. I see air coots on alone. So yeah, you look you look this week
That was two days ago. Yeah, I want three straight. I was fucking nasty
But I'm more so mean that like the rush I get watching those lads play
has been
it's been like
like I might
get a little flutters
yeah
okay
it was like when
you had Zane
yeah that was probably
the most stressful
gaming moment
I've ever been in
do you feel that way
when I'm last alive
and you're on my team
and there's one before
but you think I might do it
no we don't want you
to win because
it's you have too many W's
everyone can speak for this
you think he has more Ws than the professional players?
He has too many clutches.
No, no, he has too many clutches.
He has less clutches than Zayn.
No, not Zayn.
We don't want Nick to succeed in our games because he succeeds too much.
I think it's different, Nick, I would say.
Okay, that's fair.
Because I think the level you're competing at is a little lower.
I would imagine Sim has clutched more times than Nick.
Sim has a few
clutches on his belt
for sure.
Flya, definitely.
Brock, clutched.
I haven't heard of them
so it's weird.
So you're saying
you're bad.
You haven't heard
of the team.
I feel like I would
have heard of those players.
So you're saying
you're bad.
Anyway, they're playing
today.
They're playing right now
if you're listening to this.
Really?
Yeah, they're playing
right now.
Who are they playing?
They're playing against G2.
No, they're playing
against TSM. Excuse me,, they're playing against TSM.
Excuse me, TSM.
More like TSM.
Right, yeah.
Instead of TSM, it's the...
Free SM!
Type it out!
Free SM, baby.
Totally sucks, man.
Type it out to man!
Tweet free SM out?
Yeah.
You think nobody's said that before?
Duh.
All right, well, we're out of time.
In four minutes.
I fucking lied.
Fuck me.
Fuck, I pulled a fucking you guys.
Hey, it's okay.
Jesus Christ, weirdo.
Yeah.
Okay.
Everyone's a-chewing.
Everyone's getting into chewing.
We should get into dip. what if we had a yard
like like branded tobacco yeah yeah can you give us the update
i've never seen him cower like this he's he's just like afraid ludwig
oh yeah mr i won't go live because it has to be perfect wow he was holding on to that okay
he brought it up earlier.
Can you give us an update on your 2P?
I found a site.
You guys know my response. No one talks to me.
No one responds. Everyone hates me.
I read it. I didn't respond. I read it.
That takes three months to deliver.
So the good ones will.
Is it because they custom make them?
Why don't you go to a human?
Why don't you go to a human in person?
Why are you doing this fucking technology?
No, man, it's online, bro.
Go to a human.
Go to a person.
Get a fucking human.
It's fucking 2023.
You want to go a human?
Fucking 1994.
What do you think you did?
My fucking son.
Buddy, what do you think you did in 1994?
All right?
You walk in.
You ordered it?
1994.
The technology.
Your pops was two times.
The technology wasn't there for one.
So stop.
Stop talking to me about what is real.
What do you think George Washington was wearing, buddy?
Ooh, true.
Toupe.
Yeah, but it wasn't good.
1700s.
1700s.
You also know I watch a video.
I watch a video on this.
Them shits smell like poop and butt and feet.
Really?
Wait, just wash it?
Toupes.
Like the old ass, like British people wigs.
Oh, it's more like butt ass in there?
Like butt ass.
You're so funny.
That's really funny.
That's the shit I do.
Yeah, I broke your head a little bit.
Horse, goat, human hair.
Butt ass, crud, mineral.
You couldn't keep it like fucking nice
and it was gross.
Either way, it's my toupee, dad.
It's my life.
True.
All right.
So it's like,
if I want to,
if I'm going to do this
for a fucking dumbass,
stupidass,
whole ass month,
then I fucking want
to be good.
Don't be mad
at the bet that you agree.
I want to have like
Dane Cook hair.
Like,
like the messy spiked look.
I want him to have
anime hair.
No,
it can't be a cartoony
because then you're
making a joke.
No,
no, I want like Joey Wheeler. Can you, it can't be a cartoony, because then you're making a joke. No, no, I want, like, Joey Wheeler.
Can you pick up Joey?
Is that Joey from...
You want Joey Wheeler's hair?
Yeah.
I think you want Joey Wheeler's hair.
Yogi boy!
What the fuck?
Why is he Irish?
Why is his name Seamus?
That's what he sounds like.
Wow.
Hey, Yogi!
Hey, Yogi!
What makes that dent happen?
Hey, Yogi, it's a bit of pomade
That I rub between my fingers
Fingers
God you suck
No he says a hard R
Fingers
He calls one of Yugi's monsters
The hard R
That's not
That's why
That's why the dub go
Joey you can't say that
Jesus Christ
Joey that word Joey what the can't say that. Jesus Christ. Joey, that word...
Joey, what the fuck, dude?
Joey, that word is offensive.
This is just Yu-Gi-Oh-abridged.
We should do Yu-Gi-Oh-abridged.
That's what we need to do.
Do you think there's a place in this world
for Let's Play content anymore?
Yeah.
Oh, yep.
Boss man.
Boss man
Might need a gimmick around it, but I think it can exist cuz that's I think I think I like I do
Let's play content, but it has to be in one sitting and that's kind of my gimmick that I've done
But my own ring let's play has a lot of use that's plays without it being like edited in
Narrative you won't get a lot of views, but you could. Well, that's obviously. But I don't want to put effort in. Also, it depends.
Like, what's the level of success you want?
Because Chugga Conroy is still making enough
off of YouTube to keep it going. 500 million
viewers. Like, when me and Josh cased ourselves.
Right. I think that was good content.
I think it was good for stream, for sure.
I feel like I don't even know if... But you don't think it'd be a good video?
No. Why, bitch? I feel like that's not
a let's play. Because it's
inconclusive it
doesn't have an end narrative yeah but you chug a Conroy look his channel still
killing he still gets six-figure views I bet you chug on my Conroy