The Yard - Ep. 9 - Slime's TERRIBLE First Impression

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

In this episode, the boys recover from a hefty guest episode by going back to the basics. Slime recounts his terrible first impression with the Botez sisters, Aiden prepares for his trip to Sweden, and Ludwig won't shut up about going to "nippon desu"

When I worked at Coffee Bean, there was this lady who would come in twice a day, once at 5 a.m. and once at 1 p.m., and she would get the Moroccan mint tea. But basically it's like a tea that has scoops of chocolate powder added to it and milk and she would get a 32 ounce twice a day every day for six years. And we did the calculation once for like how much she's ingesting every day.

It's fucked up. The calculator just literally said diabetes. Yeah, and then one day she just stopped coming in and I was like, She's ingesting every day. It's fucked up. The calculator just literally said diabetes. And then, yeah. And then one day she just stopped coming in. And I was like, did she fucking die? Probably. She went to the doctor and they're like, you're diabetic. She's like, what?

She's like, that's crazy. All I drink is tea. Tea's good for you. So. You know where you should go to the doctor if you're going to the yard. And welcome back to the yard. Yardigans. Wow.

That's our intro. We didn't clap sound speed oh my clap was so money that was loud dude that penetrated me hey do you guys want an update he has like a thing this is what i look like now after my diet okay tummy time you're looking solid you're just you're You're blowing it out. You look kind of like a Goomba. You shouldn't be showing this.

For the audio viewers, he looks kind of like a Goomba. How much have you lost? I lost immediately in the first 10 days 5, 6, 7 pounds. I was 193. 5, 6, or 7 pounds? Because if it's 10 days. five six seven pounds i'm like was 193 well five six or seven pounds well because i wait it's 10 16 18 million you know your weight fluctuates by like two pounds in a day yeah but it's like where are you i don't know so i'm saying like i was at i was at 201 at my peak so from my peak i was down eight pounds has it been hard for my average i was down like five or six are you struggling what sucks is going out to eat that

sucks oh and you gotta like be annoying you can't choose anything good no because like you can't like we went to this fancy restaurant the other day and uh and they had like meat they cooked in front of you in front of you and stuff and i asked the guy he came up with the waggy i was like you know how many ounces that was you know i don't know how many calories and he's like the weight to put into your free my fitness you he looks going out to bougie restaurants yeah putting it into my fitness because they should know if you're gonna charge that much for beef you should know how much it weighs to the gram he didn't know and he looked at me and he sounded like me because he's like no shot i was like i was like that's dope that's dope uh but that that's been the hardest part. The actual food day to day is pretty fine.

I think you're the kind of person when you set your mind to something, even if it's not eating Shiggy Chucky Milky Man, I think you can do it. And you're, yeah. You know where you could post progress for your weight loss? It's on our Patreon, which we have. If everyone. Just a picture of my gut every day. Nude progress pictures. Guaranteed and promised by Ludwig.

This is your contribution. This is the funniest part about being on a diet is I have twice now, while I'm showering, been inspired to weigh myself because you weigh the least naked. Yes. Clothes can be up to two pounds. They can be decently heavy. So I've been running downstairs naked. Where the scale is.

Oh. In the public area. You were in the Doritos Locos Tacos Gaming Center. No way. Facing away from me. No way. And I ran by cupping my balls to the scale. Really?

Really. When was that? This really happened. Like two, three days ago? For people listening, this is a pretty large distance in the house. He has to go down a set of stairs and cross two rooms to get to this also like the front door and like the front window which is not obscure yeah the front window there could easily there's i have no no knowledge of an uber eats driver i've been pulling up right it's been like that's a lot of cheap dude it's gonna be the package guy it's the we have like

five package guys come a day i don't care and he's gonna walk up and that's a lot of cheek. Dude, it's going to be the package guy. We have like five package guys come a day. I don't care. And he's going to walk up and just get a load of your ass. That's not my fault if they peep through my window. It is your fault. He goes, hey, who's the real package guy between you and me, huh? Let me ask you a question. When you are standing on the scale, but there's nobody around.

Because we've weighed each other. No, sorry, we haven't weighed each other. We've weighed ourselves in front of each other ass naked before that's true and when you do that as a common courtesy you you cup all that you are able to of your balls dick penis butthole balls penis balls understood into your hands right right and so not it's kind of like when you are say when you did this you leapt across the like the the house like a cartoon. Yeah, I scampered like,

like, and I heard like a flute behind me. I'm like Charlie Chaplin, comically. The Fred Flintstone. And then you stood on the scale. Did you do the same thing where you cup your,

your junk and nuts? As opposed to like, I spin my dick around a helicopter. Give me some lifts. More like hands out your side and just like observing the number that pops up. I think I'm like, I'm running holding it,

so I just keep them there. So it doesn't flop around? No. I don't hear this as you jump. No. There's no difference to weighing if your hands are high or down low. Did you check before or after your shower?

Before. Okay. Because don't you think like soaking your skin would make you heavier? Well, it would also just be terrible to like be wet in the bathroom. If you slipped and ate shit. Yeah. Naked behind you.

Have you guys ever fallen in the shower? Oh, yeah. Oh, that shit sucks. It never hurts. That shit sucks. It never hurts. My coordination is insane. Well, no.

You have a seat in there. Dude. My old roommate in college, he to uh he's taking really fucking long showers when i was like dude what are you jerking off in there like it's too long i need to take showers too and he's like sorry what i do is i i go in there and then i sit on the on the floor of the shower of the bathtub and the water drenches over me and I pretend I'm a ninja on a rooftop. Like under a waterfall? That guy was exactly me until the last part. And I'm like

every time? He's like yeah every time. That's how I handled hangovers. I'd just sit curled up on the floor. I sit every time I shower. I used to. I don't anymore. I've discovered putting on YouTube videos in the floor. I sit every time I shower. I used to. I don't anymore. I've discovered putting on YouTube videos in the shower.

You motherfucker. How do you do it? Just recently. You were watching YouTube videos eating a fruit cup minutes before Zipper told us we were hot. Yeah. And then you guys stepped on my Yardigans idea that I invented. Actually, no. I like this idea. You said we should call ourselves the Yardigans.

Yeah. And I thought that was cute. I invented that. And then he named a character from it which I thought was weird And cringe Cause we don't know the characters dude I was just on the cusp of having a show Aiden was like can I be Pablo

We were like holy shit Pablo's the coolest Is he the tanky winky of the group Contextualize this for me Pablo is the Chad Penguin who's in every episode Okay You call that a Chad? He's wearing a bow tie.

He is the shortest one, by the way. In the show, he's a Chad. In the show, he's a Chad. He's not a Chad. Insane. Is he a millionaire? No. You think that's you?

Yeah. That is clearly slime. Can you name them all real quick? No, I can't. I can only... The Pablo. The Pablo Penguin. The strange ice cream being,

the rabbit dog. Okay. This is a symbiotic one. I only remember Uniqua in the middle. Uniqua is popular. But, okay, amongst us three, who is Aiden? Let's just say it on three.

One, two, three. The rabbit. Morse. We all thought it... You all said something different. No, you said fourth. He's also not a rabbit. He's a kangaroo.

Kangaroo makes sense. What a shit style. I thought he was the big. No, you said fourth. He's also not a rabbit. He's a kangaroo. Kangaroo makes sense. What a shit style. I thought he was the big, tall, dumb moose. Probably struggles to go through doors with his horn. He's like, sorry. If the moose was more... Do I do that? Just a fucking loser.

That's the thing. He wouldn't apologize, though. He'd step through it. He'd break a chunk out of the wall and be like... I'm at the door there. I'm at the wall there. Dude, I'm so tired of the wall and be like oh the door there dude i'm so tired of the wall i have antlers you guys joke but i have hit my head on the ceiling down the stairs in this house more than

once yeah it's there's there's a spot it's terrible i let's circle back you learned how to watch youtube and i've got some names here okay wait pablo tasha Tyrone, Austin, and Uniqua, which is where I buy shirts sometimes. My daughter's name is Uniqua. That's hype. I'm Tasha. You are not Tasha. Wait, why are you Tasha? Because I'm hot.

No, you are Pablo. You are Pablo. Wait, what? You're Austin. Dude, how can you have a bow tie and a spinning propeller hat? Wait, there's someone missing from the last image in this. Oh, no, no, it's not. Oh, yeah, there is.

Nick, who are you? I guess I'm Tyrone. Am I? Yeah. He's got drip. He wears the same sweater as you do. There's no comparison. I'm unique.

This is like when every friend group tries to say, all right, who are we all in friends? Yeah, I'm Joey. Yeah, that's it. This is like that. Yeah. Nothing's one to one. You are no one in front. Well, no, I'm everybody in that show. I'm Joey. This is like that. Nothing's one-to-one. You are no one in Friends. Everybody in that show is miserable, and I don't want

to be any of them. The guy who works at the coffee shop and he's in love with Rachel. I'd be over Rachel in a week. Rachel's actually hitting Platt and Valorant. Oh, come on. Aiden's a Ross.

And then Ross is like nick's third backup account that already hit plat yeah speaking of gaming uh amen gaming stopped gaming yeah why is this news this is crazy to me yeah this so this is very um so i feel like you're someone who picks up and drops things very quickly. I played Valorant for a year. Well, I thought you loved gaming. I thought that was your one consistent. It's in your name.

You got rid of your gaming setup in your workstation. You made it a MacBook, which is like kryptonite for gaming. But I think, didn't you just move it to your room? No, it's in his room. It's set up in my room. I know it's in his room, but he doesn't like, what he used to do is he would work for, like, an hour, and then he'd, like, shmay,

and then he'd play Melee for, like, 15 minutes, and then he'd work, and then he'd be like, rand? And then he'd, like, rant, and then he'd go back to... He would, like, keep switching. Why aren't you playing video games, Aiden? And now he can't do that. I... I like the idea of us being, like, the opposite of your parents.

Aiden, why aren't you playing more video games? We are the opposite of the Chinese government. Yeah. you are not gaming enough sir it's a problem for society my social credit score in this house going it's plummeting because of my gaming you need to game more i just play melee right now yeah but even if you do you can't play on your you have to go upstairs to play a slippy that's fine there is a game drought i will say there's nothing even on twitch motivating to to play at the moment do you feel like you've lost yourself as a human because you can't game

i don't what is a piece of yourself fractured and gone forever it's in simple question a little bit lately i told you i get it why are you bringing this out of him now this is a weird place We're getting real Holy shit Well look I will Tag on that You're not whole anymore Aiden

Jesus Aiden He loves Traveling And has planned like Three trips In the next two months You're going to Sweden tomorrow

Tomorrow Yeah I'm going to Sweden tomorrow Let me play video games there At Reykjavik That's so racist That's in Iceland How's that racist? To us That's in Sweden To the door to Sweden tomorrow. Let me play video games there. I might play. At Reykjavik. That's so racist. That's in Iceland. How's that racist? To us.

That's in Sweden. To the door. You hate Sweden. You hate Sweden. I'm Swedish. You know. Don't lie now. You know how much shit you got when you said, I hate Sweden?

First of all, I didn't say I hate Sweden. I said I would never want to live in Sweden. No, you said you hate Sweden. Doesn't mean roll the tape, Zipper. I want Archie to put it back in. Was this the high episode? No. In a background.

In a flashback. Archie's out this week. He can't edit this one. I want Archie to put it back in. Was this the high episode? In a background. In a flashback. Archie's out this week. He can't edit this one. I want someone to put it in a flashback part. Because I said I would never live in the shithole that is known as Sweden. That's true. Was this the high episode? No.

It was where you would live. I don't know. I don't remember, honestly. I think this was the high episode. No, it was before that for sure. It was before that. Because it was before, I think, the Patreon. I love when Ludwig says something confidently.

Because I took black tar before the high episode, I was going to say. I didn't tell you guys. I don't know if you're taking black tar. Why would you double? I took black tar during another one. Yeah, without telling you guys. You know, I was taught. I like being Swedish.

I would not want to live in Sweden. What do you like about being Swedish? Yeah, in your daily life, how does that contribute at all? Like, even a little. Because you are so much more French than you are Swedish. You speak French. You're barely French. You talk about your French family.

You speak to your mom in French sometimes. You say, En poisson. Yeah, en poisson. En poisson. En poisson. En fish. Trois.

Come on, what's up? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I like my Swedish heritage. I just have been to Sweden a lot. Why do you like your Swedish heritage I just have been to Sweden a lot Why do you like your Swedish heritage? What does it mean to you? It means

What do you want from me? You fake Italian Because you have no answer You just like being able to say Swedish Because it's a little different than other people I like that response I'm on his side now i think that that gets me on his side you know that scene in always sunny where where charlie like moves his little cross over from like the evolution side to the yeah it's like sweep shop just moved me to the middle of

the board i'm now on the fence the the board mac makes where it's like galileo bitch because science is a liar sometimes what the fuck was going on in the topic channel like an hour ago well i was oh is it blown up yeah we were adding something let me just really quickly read some of the topic that these fucking these fucking geniuses were adding we have a channel where we put topics we'll talk about during the pod. Alright, so Ludwig adds mogul money, and then he adds the word cum four times. And then Aiden puts PSG

owner, and then Ludwig puts PSG owner's wife squirting, and then Ludwig puts Aiden hates America and his friends, and then Jake Paul pog. How are any of these topics? And then, not 20 minutes ago, Backyardigans from Amon. What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Well, we got one of them out of the way. We got Backyardigans. Which one do you want to touch on first? What is PSG owners? No, I want to go on the third come under Mogul Money. So that was just going to come up naturally. Okay. Because we already did hit one of the comes

there's a quota this will it's just more so that we need to hit those along the show right well the psg owner i don't know this is an amen story so i'll let amen take it away yeah so this was at this was at smash summit and i have a brief cameo uh at at the smash ultimate summit that just happened this past weekend it's a tournament where the best super smash brothers ultimate players gather in the world for a huge prize pool and uh the production company that uh me and slime used to work at nick still works at uh puts this event together and i had a brief cameo on the stream where i need to explain some uh bit about how the format works at a certain stage of the tournament.

That day, I have my shirt on from the soccer club PSG Paris Saint-Germain. I don't know. How the fuck do you say it? Paris Saint-Germain. Oh my god. So I'm never going to say it like that. Anyway, I have the shirt.

He's a pissant. And pissant to you too, man. You rule. Don't touch me hey man i like you i like you that pronunciation was real no get away from me guys that was real continue you're wearing your psg shirt and and it like you're so hot i get a little iso shot on me so you can very clearly see the logo on the broadcast whatever and three different people come up to me afterwards and tell me about how the chat was commenting about my shirt and like uh you know making making comments about it so i go and look whatever and i just think it's really funny because i bought this shirt three weeks before messy signs for the team so it looks

like i'm a total bandwagon fan. For Americans, this is like... If Americans need context, then... This is like Tom Brady joining the Green Bay... Lionel Messi storms down the pitch. Oh, it's Messi! Oh, God! Oh, it is to go!

It is to go! Who do you think's commentating this? Tommy in it in fucking miles? That would be awesome. If this? Tommy in it and fucking Miles And Jason said That would be awesome If they got Tommy in it and Tubbo to commentate soccer I would watch soccer If Tommy and Tubbo were commenting Oh, bry me, they scored another goal

Also, you and your fucking elite Don't say, oh, if you need contextualization to know what fucking soccer plays Don't, so many people don't care about soccer I think Messi is I think Messi is just a super star. I literally don't know who that is. And I'm not kidding.

I actually don't believe you. I don't believe you. I know he's like a guy, but as much as like, like people are like, oh yeah, Mario's in Smash Bros. I'm like, okay.

It's kind of like that. Yeah. Really? He's literally the Mario. He's the Super Mario. He's the Super Mario of soccer. I feel like he's been on the cover of FIFA

multiple times. Yeah, maybe. Do I play FIFA? feel like he's been on the cover of FIFA multiple times. Yeah, maybe. Do I play FIFA? 100%. He also is on the top of LSF, which you look at. Just contextualize it for me. Christ. He's the greatest soccer player of all time.

Okay, basketball. Except for Ronaldo. Is he Michael Jordan? Except for maybe Ronaldo. Is he Michael Jordan? He's Mario, dude. Yeah. Is that not enough for you?

He's kind of Kobe. Is Super Mario Michael Jordan? Maybe like Kobe. I don't know. Maybe like LeBron. Is Kobe considered the greatest ever? Maybe like LeBron. He's like the LeBron of soccer.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. He's the LeBron of soccer. I'm in. Yeah. And it just looks... I bought this shirt right around when he signed.

So it just looks like I'm the biggest bandwagon fan of all time. You are. And I just made like a joking tweet about this. And some guy replies. And he's like, learn about the clubs you're a fan of all time you are and i just made like a joking tweet about this and some guy replies and he's like learn about the clubs you're a fan of bro and i look at the i learn i i look at the article and it's just this just this indicting article about how psg is owned by this like qatari businessman who has like ties to terrorist groups and like and i'm like whoa like and like doha is built on slave labor and i and i literally reply to him and i was like dude they just i thought the

logo looked cool i like mario what the fuck they they have a dota team because like psg sponsors a dota team yeah which you told me that when that happened i was like yeah that makes sense which honestly it checks out now yeah which is why i actually bought it it's just like i i liked the dota team and the logo and i bought the shirt and this guy's like yo you got to learn about this the dota team uses slave labor to get their practice in yeah of gamers they are incredibly incredibly rich and corrupt there's like six teams or something. Dude. And they're all like multi-billion dollar families.

Yes. Like Escobar with the Brazilian soccer team. Or not the Brazilian. So when I was traveling to like a bunch more tournaments, like a few years ago, I would just find like any Smash tournament that would happen in any interesting country. And I would use that as like an excuse to go to that place.

And an upcoming, like the biggest fighting game tournament in the Middle East that year was going to be in doha and uh where is that in qatar it's like the capital where is qatar like this guy's talking about guitars arabian peninsula it's the right of saudi arabia it's very small saudi arabia uae kuwait i'm sorry. You said Bahrain. I'm not. You said Saudi Arabia. This is actually such a fuck you to the Bahrain fan. I feel like you've made these places

up. I'm not being obtuse right now. I literally still am lost. Okay. It's in the Middle East. Perfect. Zippers got us. You can't be in the middle of the East. Right there. It is the tiny, tiny island. It's that little tiny thing poking out into the sea. It looks like a rock hard penis attached to Saudi Arabia.

This guy's never played GeoGuess or anything. That's crazy. So it's crazy. You see Bahrain right next to it? We have a guy on our Patreon that we sent a postcard to. Yeah. Yeah. One person in Bahrain.

So I was going to go here. I was going to go there for an Fgc tournament that had melee at it but it was just like their biggest fgc event and uh the organizer found out like i'm coming all the way from the u.s which is and he's like super excited about it and i'm excited to go because i just like to see new places and new cities and stuff um didn't know about the slave labor at the time admittedly so it wasn't it's like a thing was it yes actually this is like shit it's like uh look i've look i've carried crts in my day i've done my fair share of slave labor are you saying every local equivalent to the labor of a slave every local i carried a few

crts across the desert and back well this is like the same conversation that they're having with the olympics they're supposed to be in Qatar, right? No, the World Cup. It's like a big deal because they built the World Cup stadium in Doha with slave labor and a bunch of people have died. Really? Like 3,000 people have died. It's like a stupid high number. Zipper, look at the number of people who died building the World Cup stadium. I didn't know about this.

It's a bad look. It's not chill. Dude, the FIFA World Cup like video game that's gonna come out for that year is gonna be haunted yeah

most of the game is you like building the stadium it's just like it's just terrible pretty realistic approach it's like rollercoaster tycoon

but it's like keeping people alive yeah you play as a GM and they're like where do you want your slaves to work today and you're like

you know what? I'm going to take this one back. You're saying your progress is slowing down. Hurry up. It's that famous soccer series where you're literally just the manager of a team. You don't even play soccer. It's a manager simulator or whatever.

Is it football manager? Yeah, I think so. Football manager. And then in the new game, you'll like bribe FIFA officials. Wait, suck off FIFA official for contract to Messi. In the new game, you'll like bribe FIFA officials. Suck off FIFA official for contract to Messi.

Is football manager a soccer game and not an American football game? Yeah. Whoa. I didn't know that either. This is a very special episode. You know Australian football is its own sport? Yeah. It's not American football. That's why that Australian guy on the advice show called it soccer.

Yeah. Because they need to distinguish too. Migrant construction workers died. That is so many people. That's why that Australian guy on the advice show called it soccer. Yeah. Migrate construction workers died. That is so many people. Do you know that's like almost, that's like time and a half 9-11. That's true. Building a stadium. That's true.

The death count for a stadium should be like maybe one. And it was like Tom and he fucked up. Yeah. It was like Tom was, it was gonna happen. Yeah. This guy hated OSHA. He already signed shit that it was like, we already know this is gonna happen. Yeah. And he always like skipped the ladder like safety procedure.

How are they dying? And he got away with it for years. How are they all dying? It's heat stroke and shit. Oh. Because they just keep them in like really. Yeah. I had the same idea.

It was Tom from Myspace. Yeah. Died building a stadium. Died tragically stadium. In construction. They just work in horrific conditions. They get stuff like 10 to 12 people in one small room in bunks and shit. And then you go work a 12-hour day in the literal desert sun. And then you die.

Heatstroke is crazy. Have you ever had heatstroke, Ludwig? I have slightly had it. Like hiking the Grand Canyon. I've had heatstroke. One time I went to the desert and I was so hot. I was like, I had to sit down. Why don't those immigrant workers just start Twitch streaming?

Why don't they just IRL stream? They should have just drank more water. I don't get it. Moonshine is crazy. One time I swallowed a little bit of my mouthwash and I was fucked up. bit of my mouthwash and oh boy i was up dude i uh well i watched a video on miyazaki japan cows that make wagyu beef and they give them salt blocks to lick i just say ludwig i want you to go to japan and die there i want i want to i brought cows contextually and you said who's messing nobody i know the nobody i know that is as old as you who talks

about japan as much has never been there it's like insanity you're like the perfume 444 of 20 year olds 20 ish and uh a few people will get that what the fuck are you talking about don't worry about it it will hit for the people no one will get that okay hold on let me let me close this out yeah because your story i was gonna go to qatar and i get i'm talking to the organizer and he's being very accommodating uh they're super excited to have me come out everybody this event is like from different parts of the middle east the majority of the attendees are not from qatar it gets out like a month out before i'm supposed to leave and he sends me a long message that I wake up to in the morning. And he basically lays out about how they now have to cancel the event

because all other Middle Eastern countries have agreed to block travel to Qatar because of the government's ties to terrorism. And he's like, I'm so sorry. You can no longer come to our fighting game tournament. And I was like, honestly, that's the best reason i've ever heard for canceling an event like i was really looking forward to it but they're like because smashers

are always smashers i bet there's people like so uh like when is my refund coming so will you still like give me my ticket back or like is this whole like terrorist situation gonna like can you just move it well this came this came because I said you had a couple trips planned, but we also have a trip planned maybe. Yeah, if the EU doesn't fucking clock us. To go to Italy as a group, which spawned randomly, and I think it's a go. I think the yard goes to Italy is pogchamp.

And you know what? You know what? We would be there on a Monday. You know what know what? We would be there on a Monday. You know what that means? We record the show on a Monday. Maybe bring in a little bit of a remote setup. And you know what that means? On a boat.

We record this shit in Italy? Goddamn. I feel like this. All right, look. I am agnostic to this idea. I could stay at home for a week or I could go to somewhere for a week. But I do feel like it is such a random place to go am i wrong am i crazy italy italy is such a large travel destination what would it be a

random yeah that's a great question uh nippon desu not loud you can't go there why is that hold on why is that not by the way only because he talks about it so much he just said what wouldn't be a random place that you can go. Okay, I will add that addendum because it's not physically possible to go to Japan. Yeah, I don't know. Then I don't think, look, I don't think about this.

I'm just saying it's random. To me, it's random and it's weird. It's like, oh, we're going to Italy. And I think also Italy is like, the word itself is like a symbol of affluence that I have never been close to. It's like, you only hear people go to Italy if they're like rich. And I'm like, oh, and it's like, well, you understand what he's saying.

Yeah. It felt like it was. No, I get what he's saying right now. Yeah. It's just like I'm three for three. And now I'm envisioning like a version of call me by your name. But there's like a little there's a young Bruno boy in it instead. If you want to fuck me just let me know we can we can hash that out about him oh if you want to fuck me you do win the kill fuck mary be like never mind it's nothing you want to so it's about

i'm like call me by your name have you ever i'm super hot i'm oiled up you want to fuck nobody gets oiled up in that movie have you ever in in your entire life, Anthony, thought like, oh, I really want to travel to X? No. Okay, well, that's why everything's random, right? Yeah. But I think Italy, although random, it's dope. I think you are both Italian. I want to go.

And have never been to Italy. Yeah. And I think it would be cool to go where the first Bruno ever came. Into like an olive garden? Yeah. And then that sprouted your dad. Not the one off the side of the highway. That's going to be the first thing I say there. Do you think

they have like a really nice olive garden? Where's Mario? They probably do. Honestly, they probably have like an insane olive garden like Florence. That's probably where it started. That's where they started the. That they gassed up. That's where they started the franchise. Did the Outback Steakhouse start in Australia? Yes, it did.

This is the most American conversation. We just lost two enormous chunks of our viewership. No, I can verifiably say. From two countries. Our gigantic Italian viewership. We have a lot of Australian viewership. McDonald's, I know, came from the great nation of McDonald's. Uh-huh.

Everyone knows that. This is fair and true. That is fact. So, yeah. I'm not totally stupid. Italy trip in the works. They just announced today that there's some conversations. The Burger Kingdom.

But it should be non-impact. I'm trying to get my neck tattooed in Italy. What? Oh, no, because he needs to do his one tattoo per trip. Yeah. Bambino. I want to do my neck tattooed in italy what oh yeah no because he needs to do his one tattoo per trip yeah bambino i want to do my neck and this time it won't be in a dark illegal basement like it was in japan that was awesome when i traveled to japan it's pretty hard to get tattooed there because like it's illegal right it's uh it's not illegal but it's just like really frowned upon so it's like hard to find good artists there's a lot of like shitty artists in like but they're not like publicly seen in like uh areas bad yakuza vibes oh that makes sense

it's like gangster so i had to i had to travel like three hours by bullet train to find this guy who like said he would do it and uh his shop was like underground like it was like a hidden shop with no sign underground i was like yeah i'd die here three like three hours by bullet train did you like go across the entire nation of japan yeah we're really far away went from like tokyo to uh i can't remember where i want to say it was like near like nara or something you know where that is japan expert oh yeah there's one in downtown next to target nice uh yeah and he he i told him he could do whatever he wanted and he was very excited because he like doesn't get the tattoo americans you come out of there very

frequently japanese styled penis i'd be down honestly japanese characters that story would be so worth uh yeah it was terrifying but it was sick you did a good death too what um the tattoo is sick did he try to like feed you blowfish too or something or was it just yeah that was part of it he tried to feed me blowfish uh just all kinds of shady dangerous shit he was humming the mario theme song it was crazy everything you would think was happening there yeah and then he told me that steve would be in smash it happened yeah he somehow knew that uh and that's how slash v leaks work it's one guy in a basement tattoo shop in japan who just knows about the fighter dlc what tattoo are you getting uh i don't i never i never know you never know i always just tell

them do whatever the fuck patreon art contest oh what about that yeah i would do that have everyone in the not for the Patreon draw a different penis. Not for my neck. And the nicest one you get tattooed on you. Well, I don't want a penis tattoo.

Well. There's some spicy Patreon perks coming up. We got naked Ludwig Progress pictures. Balls and dick and cock. Don't think that was one of them.

We can do the ones where it's like a side-by-side. So it's like him being fat and disgusting, but he's also bald and he's frowning. And then we do one of him smiling and he's lost like 20 pounds and he's like it's like a side by side so it's like him being fat and disgusting but he's also bald and he's frowning and then we do one of him smiling and he's lost like 20 pounds and he's like yeah and we like we like photoshop his dick like the justin bieber like magazine cover when he

made his biceps all big so this is confirmed hard confirmed by ludwig 100 and then also nick will get a tattoo choose my tattoo of anything that you post on the Patreon page. Anything. Wait, so I'll get all of them? Yeah, he gets them all. Look, we hit 10K patrons. That's so much money. We hit 10K patrons.

I'll get a Patreon tattoo. Wow. We did talk about today what matching tattoos we could get on our thighs to make you guys jealous. Nothing would make me jealous. Wait, you two? Yeah, to compete with you. Because me and Slime have matching tattoos we could get on our thighs to make you guys jealous. Nothing would make me jealous. Wait, you two? Yeah, to compete with you. Because me and Slime have matching tattoos. I wouldn't be jealous. I would just join in. It is crazy that with Ludwig,

I was like, Ludwig, we should go get a tattoo together. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, a year later, Ludwig, you want to get our tattoo? He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then one day, he just gets one with Anthony. I was like, what the fuck? No, ours was just for funsies. Look. Oh, that's true.

It was a bet. You want to tell them the truth? You know what will hurt the most? No, I'm sorry. I'm saying me and him. Oh, you want to tell them the truth? Yeah. Yeah, you can tell them the truth.

Well, the truth is that we both wanted the tattoo. I was down to get it, yeah. Because I, look, let's be real. I could have beaten your ass. In the YLYLs Ludwig throws And I'm breaking the news here Right now on the Yard Podcast I gotta give him some gimme's dude

He laughs at too much Ludwig keeps it close during the YLYLs And the illusion is broken And your parasocial relationship is now over You know who doesn't throw is Aiden That guy sucks at not laughing You laugh at fucking everything I have a you laugh you lose idea where they start with 10k and every time one of them laughs they lose a hundred dollars this is this first of all don't say it

like it's a damning like i don't think what means you have no resilience is that what it means does it not i think it means i enjoy life does it mean mean both? It's both. It can't mean both. Me? But also, like, there's a gun to your sweet, sweet, hot mom's head. Come on. Right here. You know what's so funny is I've thought about this exact scenario. I've thought about this exact scenario.

Because when I laughed, when I laughed in the group competition we did that one time, afterwards, I thought to myself, like, could I keep it together when it really when it really counts and i was like like my family's life is on the line i'm like i don't think i could like you're doing a training montage like rocky looking at sad shit get the happy thoughts out of your head aiden it wouldn't happen he watches like a baby like like throw a hot dog and he's like it is anything for you like he's thinking about it where did you get the hot dog and he's like, fuck! It is anything for you. He's thinking about it. Where did you get the hot dog from? You know what I hate is that you still laugh at Slime's

fart because I think if you didn't, it would have been bullied out of him. I don't. I haven't laughed at it in the past two weeks. No. I just get mad at him. I just get furious now. Because it is so bad. It's not funny anymore. The most cap you have ever

put on the show no you aren't there to witness it anymore because of your deal like a week ago i was in the room when you cheated it and i didn't shut up no wait hold on hold on i only laughed because he broke the deal with you yeah i didn't break the deal by the way you can vouch i get super mad at it yeah but you guys are acting like that matters at all it smells bad that's why it matters don't you can't say that as if there's no consequence no no no i know i'm just saying no reaction you ever give me will ever stop me from doing it because i do it alone and i laugh at myself like it's over that gives me a girl's around you do it if a girl's around you do it no you're a a girl's around you do it? No. You're a pussy. Yeah.

Slime's the only person I know who is like Slime. What does that mean? In every way. Put her there. He's never felt the desire to travel to a place. All of them like traveling. They did not grow up in that city. I think this is a common thing.

I'm going to go on his side. There's so many random things that you're just like, yeah, I don't think about that. Like hanging out with people makes you stressed. Like so many random things. I've just never met anyone like this. The most human part about him is when he had a girl over, he would poop in the downstairs bathroom. Yeah. Like a simp. Yeah.

I had to do that. I shit with cutie in the room, door you're a freak you're just in a different level you also man you you that's not a good thing this is a great thing don't brag i'm always me i actually never know what i'm actually on his side that's huge you're on his side yeah he's always him i'm better for worse it's like big sean over here it's like that's all me just oh me just sitting on the fucking toilet while cutie is like crying in the other room why why is she crying now now it's sad no because she's fucking shitting because you're shitting in front of her no she's screaming stop shitting please stop pooping now my farts are pretty quiet but in the morning,

first thing I do when I get up every single morning is I brush my teeth and then I wash my face. And then I sit down on the toilet to pee. But when you sit, it spreads your cheeks a little bit. And I let out like a six second fart that I built up during the night. Is it silent? Every morning? No. It is the only time my fart is loud.

It reverberates through the room And Cutie Sleeps in Aiden starts carrying him Cutie usually sleeps in And I didn't know until like three months Into us living together

She was like yeah I hear you fart every morning You thought you were asleep I thought she was sleeping through it Cause she usually is asleep when I get up. But she just is always awake and she's like, yeah, you have the loudest farts in the morning. Because I don't close the door all the way in the morning. That's the alarm clock that you set for her. I hate Europeans.

What does this have to do with? Because you're European. Everything, Ludwig. I'm not European right now. I could be. I could get my French citizenship. You do run the AC a lot. You need to do shit. You don't have the passport on deck?

No, I don't have the passport on deck. You don't have the Swedish one on deck either. I don't have either on deck. I only have my American passport. Oh, but I'm proud of my Swedish heritage. Oh, you like Sweden? Name five items at Ikea right now. I don't think I could name five cities in Sweden.

The Albo. Homo. Lark. There's fuck. Skol uh homo lark um there's fuck skull a lark i got you that video of the of like the dude sitting down in the living room and they're like smoking weed and they like get up and leave and they're in ikea they're in one of the fake rooms that video fucking rules they're not only smoking weed they're like hitting a dab rig and like doing shots and then blowing it out after yeah just and it's this really old man and he's just like this hardcore motherfucker and then they just zoom out and they're in like he is the staging oh that's how long do you think

you get away with like streaming on twitch from an ikea would they shut it down would twitch shut it down or what ikea yeah uh if you were, I mean, it'd be hard to catch you, right? You know, you just, like, you go into one of the fake rooms and you, like, set it up on top of the fake computer. Oh, we're talking about Ikea. And you stream from the Ikea room.

Dude, that's a good idea. You get away with it. I think you get away with it for a couple hours, honestly. You'd have to bring a laptop and stuff, but, yeah, you could get away with it. You, like, go to, like, move, like, a picture frame and the wall rips off.

The thing is, you start the stream, you don't even tell your stream. You're in and I yeah Yeah, yeah, no you could set it up So the background is just the the set of like a room and you see how long it takes to do that I just have some guests over is a really good idea. This is a good idea. Do you want to do it? Yeah, I'm down This is a good to stream from an Ikea although now we just got to do it before someone steals it So we also have to do it before the yard narks to my Twitch chat so they know. The yard would nark immediately.

No narks. No narks. What if we... We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Speaking of stream, guys, I'm struggling. What are you struggling for?

Mogul money's in a week. I have zero hoes lined up. Oh, shit. I have asked... I asked Aiden this week i'm like do we have guests for mogul money i don't know i've asked a bunch of people everyone has flaked you know you should do what you should have the four of us and do the yard money that's what i was gonna bring up i think i might i think it's not a bad idea i think that's a bad idea wait is this on this is on the seven riddle me why because I think that the fun part about Mogul money is seeing famous people on it.

Yes, sir. And I hate the ecosystem of, like, influencer docking and sucking and milking. And I'm saying that that's a better thing than us. However, if you command me, Captain. Think of influencers like penises. And the larger the influencer influencer the bigger the penis yeah but if they are in a group that they don't vibe with they will be soft and smaller and you guys will be like rock hard tiny dicks yeah because we vibe so well together i think that what do you get

what i mean no i i think i get what you mean yeah sure maybe it would ultimately make for like a more entertaining broadcast product for that day of but we're not shlatting a youtube thumbnail we're funny okay i would just have to be myself in the thumbnail all of you we are funnier than like any sort of hodgepodge uh grouping of influencers i believe that just because i have to just sleep at night uh-huh right but i again i just don't think it's like Yeah, I think it's better to have famous people. I thought about this this week and suggesting it, but I held back

because I think it's a bad time to do it so early. It's the third episode of... I think everyone in this room is wrong. I think it's a good idea and I think I'll probably... No, except for Ludwig. Oh, I was going to say.

I think you should cancel Mogul. He thinks some of the people in this room are wrong. Right, okay. Zippers in another room. Yardigans, what do you think? Hey, Yardigans, Pablo's... Of course they want to see it. It's probably badass of them.

Yardigans, Bernie's pussy or these guys on Mogul Money? Yeah, I think it's a good idea it'd be a good show it also would help promo the yard a bunch hey look if you're down with it i'm so down but i think look you know how i've said my piece yeah please we're not jay schlapp but you know how you fucking get there as you do shit no i don't do shit i'm down here's what we do. Five head, actually. Okay. You guys get a mask of someone else, like a big streamer. And we act as them. I want a Connor mask. Just for like a minute, and then I'll just click bait that.

You get like a Shroud mask, and I go, our with Shroud. He's finally paying up. Yeah. This worked. I am now on their side. This is weird. Okay. All right.

I was shopping. I was just shopping. Well, I think it's also a good idea. It's not a bad idea because there's two shows this month. Well, technically there's a show on the 7th and the show on the 28th. Are you sure? I thought every date got pushed back. No, this is true.

This is correct. So there's only three weeks of Lodge between the badge. I can do times where he has it right and you don't. There's only three weeks of Lodge between the badge. Laj between the Vaj. Yeah. I heard that. What does that mean?

The lag time between the vagina. I see. This is so funny. This is just like the scene. Yeah. It's actually happened. And he doesn't know the scene. It happened exactly how it went.

It's from a movie. It's from I Love You Man. Oh, I've seen I Love You Man. I don't remember. Oh, yeah. I don't remember. I watched it on a plane once. Yeah.

That is a scene in it. Almost the exact conversation. But yeah, I think this on a plane once. Yeah, that is a scene in it. Almost the exact conversation. But yeah, I think this is a good idea. All right, Yardigans. If you want to see Pablo, Helga Pataki, and Penguin on the Yardigans, I'm bad at this. Pablo, it's the Penguin. Don't have me on. No, I think it'll be great.

Fire merch idea that we had was it's the backyard again But it's us as animals and it's the four of us. Uh-huh. That's I think that would bang. That's cute I would love to make anamorphs merch like like Like we could write books you you just turning into a bigger asshole Do you think people would buy it If I wrote four Animorph books Based on all of us If you wrote one Are you going to sit and write four books

Dude Animorph books are so short The text is like this big They're like 100 pages It's like a 100 page essay Well okay so there it settles it We're going to be on the yard We're going to intersect with IP We're going to be on the yard. We're going to intersect with IP.

We're going to be on the yard. Yes. The yard's going to be on mogul money. Nude progress photos with full spread butthole. That's not happening. Tattoo all over the place. Probably on full spread butthole. That probably won't happen. What an action packed ep.

Speaking of the Patreon, me and Atrioc. Me and Atrioc? Is that your name? Me and Atrioc went to the post office today to send all of the postcards. Why do they have so many people working here and we're atriana i tried you sounded like you sounded like the uh i honestly sounded like jerry seinfeld or something he sounded exactly like the uh the anime guy who like he like goes to the anime store and is like reading the book about incest what is that who's that character

he's like the on the fake news show he's like i don't know that guy oh that character? He's like on the fake news show. He's like, I don't know. That guy? Andrew Bowser. That's who he's out of. Bowser bits. I like that guy. He's funny. Your Atriox has never been that bad. It's because I didn't want to lean on. That's fucking funny. That's fucking funny. Anyway, you were at the Atriox store.

This isn't really much of a story, but we were just like at the post office and we have like fucking 700 postcards. We're walking in with a big bag. We're mailing all your guys' fucking postcards. And the line there is enormous. It's like a 50-person line. And we don't want to wait to ask them what to do with these.

So we're sitting at the individual letter slot, and we're like, should we just put all of them in? But there's this situation that's possible where we don't have a return address on any of them. So if they go in and they don't have enough post address on any of them so if they go in and they don't have enough postage on them none of them will get sent but they also will not get returned yeah they'll just end up in a fire hopefully and we we spent like a week doing these we finished them today we started a week ago and uh so me and eight are just there holding up the entire letter slot by putting a bunch of these things. Was this in front of the blue machine?

Like the robot that takes it? No. Kind of. Oh, one of your guys' letters got signed by Stavros. Yeah. There's a couple features. One of them got signed by Stav. And then there was one more.

Who was it? And one got signed by Zipper. There you go. Archie is British, so he doesn't know how to read or write so he was unable to do yeah i brushed his teeth or we're teaching him very slowly but he's learning really fast by the way so stahl was on last episode for one performed the worst out of any episode we'd ever did in terms of metrics we loved it i don't think it's true it was close to the bottom though it was it was I don't think it's true. It was close to the bottom, though. It was close. It was seventh. Seventh and nine. It's like getting ninth at Summit. Yeah.

And so, and I was talking to Nick about this. It's so funny because, like, okay, let's not lie. This podcast was built on the bones and the rotting remains of Ludwig viewership, right? Which is... I would say the initial push of this pot of this podcast was to take the ludwig audience and take as many people as we could and have them watch this show i think like over time the goal is to transcend that our initial push was to get as many people as we could who are invested in the people who are on the show and most of that is lovely viewers

i made you children's bones form the mountain that we stand atop all right children yeah to be clear We have not killed any children. I just want to make cars on fire. That's weird You have to clarify that there's no one at the wheel and that's a yard podcast So and so it's like cuz Ludwig he blows up a mogus right now He's part of like he's like hanging out with Chin like fucker a like it was on stream the other day like wow it's like sometimes it's like there's a there's a that's a truck dude i psychuno of your ship is not ready for what i'm saying there's a pie piece

of that of ludwig's your ship that is from that environment and they're like okay i'll watch ludwig he's kind of edgy he's kind of nuts yeah oh if mom's not home i'll turn his stream on right and then a smaller sliver of those people they go and they're like you know ludwig's kind of funny like that guy i'm gonna check out his podcast because that slime guy he's certainly very mean but i'm sure the other people are fine and they check it out and the first thing they click on is fucking Stavros. And he's talking about sucking titties. Sucking titties 9-11. Yeah. And I can only imagine them just watching it like Videodrome.

And just be like. Wrong with the new flesh. Dude. And so the comments, I feel like, reflected that. And I do wonder how many of that sort of audience freaked out. That's what I was telling you. I was like, this is probably our most polarizing episode because it was very interesting to me to see the number of people that thought it was the best and funniest episode but also the only episode where

we've gotten pushback are people saying like this was the worst people saying that this was the worst or i only listened to like 10 to 20 minutes of it. And I think it's just his type of humor and that type of content is just so like misaligned from some people's expectations. I thought that was a funny as episode. I will say it's great. I will say at the very least, it was my favorite to record. My goal.

Every time I go into this podcast is to try to make it funny enough for my childhood friend, Jake to listen to on his way to work. He's your guy. He's my target. I feel like, I feel like all of us have like a jake yeah like someone who were like i hope you think i'm fine if your name is like samantha and you are 15 then i'm sorry jake's a little different yeah and we're gonna have a slight misalignment joke but but you know i think it's still enjoyable regardless of if you're jake or not i think it's an opinion like it's just an

opinion-based thing, right? Because I thought the criticism, that's why I wanted to bring up was the boys club point because it did feel a bit boys clubby, I thought. It is. Yeah, absolutely. No girls fucking allowed, Aiden. I thought you said you were down.

I just think the word pussy got used a lot. That's true. Yeah. A lot. That's true. Yeah. But yeah, basically children's bones are what are being devoured each and every day on this podcast. And you know what's funny?

You said that about Jake. Kurt Vonnegut once said write for one single other person like that. He has these like eight or ten like rules for writing and a lot of like writing students follow them. And that was one of them. So you're actually following a goat. Did he live a good life, or did he die tragically? Kurt Vonnegut? Yeah, he lived a good life. Okay.

I don't want to follow the philosophy of the guy. I think he was troubled. Sad and died at 33. He was based. He was based. Yeah, the original based writer. This is my kickback to you, because you didn't know where Doha was. I need to know who Kurt Vonnegut is. Really?

He wrote Slaughterhouse-Five. Which you've heard of. Oh, yeah. I have heard of that. That's all you need to know. Everything else is just deep cuts for someone like you. Great American author. He's American, right? Yeah. American literature. Speaking of the Great Americans, we got Coinbase back here once again.

Let's go. As a sponsor of this pod. But you know what isn't back once again? Our goddamn motherfucking code. That's true. Coinbase back here once again. Let's go. As a sponsor of this pod. But you know what isn't back once again? Our goddamn motherfucking code. That's true. Coinbase. Well, can we really flame them if they stuck around after the Stav episode? No. That's true.

They've been sticking around. I mean, look. The code's for them, right? True. We don't need a code. We don't need a code. You can go download Coinbase. Check it out.

Go check it out. Find some cryptocurrency you're interested in. Pretty much everything you can think of is going to be on there. Cop it. Crypto. Coinbase. I know. App Store.

You're good with the buzzwords. You're sitting pretty with your Ethereum right now. Look, I'm not here to talk about prices. I do my things. Yeah, I can always gauge whether or not Ethereum is doing well on how Ludwig treats Aiden Aiden told me to buy it. So anytime it goes down even one dollar. Yeah, I go walk over I say you fucked me anytime. It goes up a dollar. Anytime it goes up though. He'll be like you see you theory Abusive relationship you see aetherium and I go yeah, good job. I

Hope it holds. Yeah, so download coinbase,, yeah, good job. I hope it holds. Yeah. So download Coinbase. You know, give them some love on social media as well. It goes a long way in terms of like their brand and the marketing department and those poor social media souls that have to pour over the accounts. And yeah, once again, thank you for sponsoring the pod. And man.

More like boat, boat show troll media it's about boats and it's only you only want to talk about boats on it there we you know what's funny we did not clear out the uh the topic channel so there's three more comes to speak about yeah well i don't know we've hit a few already we got a picture of mario that is popular yeah mario you look dude he's stanced up okay so we did psg owner now we uh psg owner's wife squirting okay that was to be very clear that was only a joke because we talked about jill biden squirting and then i found out she was young and i felt less comfortable i think because she still has like a functioning vagina and i assume jill and joe are just like years gone from having are you saying jill doesn't have look yes i'm saying joe doesn't get hard and i'm saying jill can't birth children all right the wife of the psg owner is like 35

or something like oh so it's only funny to talk about squirting if someone can yes yeah so i can only talk about amon squirting his head off yes on a sippy you're right yeah because he can't. So I can only talk about Eamon squirting his head off on a Sibian. You're right. Because he can't do it. Holy shit, I can't unsee Aiden on a Sibian. That's another Patreon goal. Actually, the video of me on a Sibian. The crazy part is it already exists.

Yeah, so I rode the Sibian and it wasn't really my thing. It was fine. It wasn't really my thing. I probably wouldn. It was fine. It wasn't really my thing. I probably wouldn't do it again. Dude, I'm imagining a fucking Amazon stream where Ludwig buys a Sibian. He takes everything out.

He's like, all right, yeah, here we go. It's a Slim Jim contest. It's like all my roommates try to ride the Sibian as long as they can. Winner gets 5K. Can my roommates tell the difference between a cheap and expensive Sits down and he's just stone-faced vibrating like crazy. He's just like I was the best of my high school vibrating like crazy and he's just like I was the best

in my high school YLYC that would be Nick you laughed you would win it you come is that what it is you laugh

you come and it's just like a device it's just two things you do dude the YouTube title that I saw recently it was like the one on Twitter it was

CSP took our kids hyphen seafood mukbang yeah and it was it was like a real YouTube title for a real YouTube video CSP took our kids hyphen seafood mukbang. Yeah. And it was like a real YouTube title for a real YouTube video. I want to pull it up

and hear what the intro was. This is Ludwig 15 years in the future when he finally makes it to Nippon Desk, has a family, and gets all his kids taken.

Okay, I found it. Her name's Bianca. She's just elongating it. That's awful. Bianca. Oh, wait. It's CPS almost took our kid from us. It was. I think originally it wasn't almost.

I don't know. You can pull up Ethan Klein's Twitter zipper and show us. Dude, it's the Prince prince family 8.5 million subscribers And they're just youtubers every day. I find a new channel with like way more subscribers than me that makes insane content I'm like damn. I didn't know this existed. That's crazy. Yeah, there's a whole there's markets on markets on markets You could do a lifestyle YouTube channel Have you ever seen those like Forbes like Forbes, like, highest earners for YouTubers, and then number one is, like, the kid who opens toys?

Ryan's Toy Review. Yeah. He made so—he made, like, $60 million. More toys. Which is crazy. That is a crazy amount of money to make as, like, a nine-year-old. You get more toys. How does that even work when you're nine?

Your parents keep all the money and then they Are you running on a treadmill to make more? I'm pretty sure that's what happened with Tommy and tubbo Yeah, so their parents just like I don't think they were like get back to the stream boys back into the nether I Think it was more like you know they're holding on to the money when your mom's the imposter Sussy dream only cheated because his mom told him to she knew it drum up yeah yeah we need to drum up the suspense uh no i don't think boomers understand that well i remember the the time that i when i introduced you to flight 23 white

because i thought he was just a 2k streamer and then i i just i liked watching him a lot and then i like i looked at his youtube like holy like, holy shit. This guy is nuts. It's Flight Reacts. He's talking to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend and he's crying in the thumbnail. This is fucking crazy. Does he have a big YouTube channel? Huge. I think it's like 4 million or something.

It was 4 million when we found it. It's probably way bigger. It's unhinged, dude. There's a stream of his ex coming to his house and like demanding to be let in and it's weird it's like diy reality tv and then sometimes he just plays one-on-one basketball with people yeah with like that's how famous and then he reviews it and then every time he ever misses a shot he was like yeah i know that that was my shoe he's super funny yeah but it's crazy because like i think i don't know the exact number

there's like like at least one person who hits I think it's one two or three people hit a million subscribers every day on YouTube and there's 23,000 channels

that have over a million I remember back in the day when you would like I don't think they do this anymore but you could check the YouTube top 10 is that a thing still you can do it

like on social blade you could check they used to do it integrated on YouTube I don't think that exists anymore it's You can do it like on Social Blade. You can check it. They used to do it integrated on YouTube. I don't think that exists anymore. It's the Brush Your Teeth song and it's... No, not videos.

It was people. You go to channels and sort by most subscribed. I did the Brush Your Teeth song. It was like Fred and like Nigahiga

and Bosh or something in the top three. That was hype when you were just tracking people. Dude, I hate saying Ryan's channel name. Yeah.

It's always a sweat whenever it comes up. I fucking hate. I read it and I'm like, oh, Ryan. Because I hate saying it. I'm always blown away. Like there was that time in YouTube back when he was like particularly popular. Probably until like 2013 where you could know every big creator on the platform like it was possible yeah yeah it was smaller it was way more tight it was like twitch sized yeah twitch is tiny

comparatively twitch has such a small little tiny cranberry ball sack they do compared to youtube's they have such market dominance in live streaming huge shalong do you see uh dr lupo left i don't okay for what i know dr lupo is is like popular don't't. I know Dr. Lupo is popular. Don't know who he is. Dr. Lupo is the Qatar of streamers for me. He invented Advil. Dr. Lupo also with ties to terrorist organizations.

You know Dr. Mario? It's like his brother. Oh, shit. He's a live streamer with no ties to slavery. no i said terrorists oh yeah yeah no that's true look i thought all this cherry stuff was just projected that's no that was it was funding for terrorists don't don't misrepresent dr lupo terrorist fundraiser let's bring terrorism back. Three mil. It's like H&Q race for the terror.

He's a live streamer. He played a bunch of Ninja back in the day. Now he just plays like random fighters or shooters. I'm thinking about terrorists without borders. Yeah, bro. That's how terrorists work. Yeah. not really not really a border doctor lupo plays fortnite until the next terrorist attack subathon you just said he's like just playing shooters and shit right now yeah twitch is so lost everyone is so lost there's nothing to do

he's there's nothing to watch actual gamer but he plays like uh you know some battle royale or some shooter or some competitive thing um like for years and he was a huge twitch guy has the giant streams with the charity ones that raise like three million dollars for the terrorists and he just signed with youtube exclusively which which i will say there's gonna be a bunch more people soon why i can't leak oh but a bunch more people i don't know what that was i don't know if he's just that was my whole shit alarm yeah well a lot of secret info yeah that's crazy i do have some secret info that I can't reveal too much But I think a lot of streamers are going to leave twitch for YouTube Why are you doing that's crazy?

Boys is gonna get some bonus checks this quarter. Yeah, Michael old paper in my paper. He was head of YouTube gaming Oh, whiz like an old Call of Duty commentator that became like the head of gaming. He's like the DJ Wheat of those guys. Exactly, actually. Wow. But yeah, I think a bunch of people are leaving mainly because there are like zero good contracts coming from Twitch's end. Yeah, if you guys aren't privy to this, Twitch and other streaming platforms often, knowing this being in the industry at different companies, they will sign exclusivity deals.

And that's what prevents you from streaming on other sites and makes you stream on one other site. For instance, Ninja's deal way back with Mixer. With Mixer, yeah. God, what a W. Dude. What a W. 40 mil for a year? You're still depressed playing League.

No one gets out of that. But you still have an extra 40 mil. He copped 50 million. He copped 40 mil for a year? You're still depressed playing League. No one gets out of that. But you still have an extra 40 mil. He copped 50 million. He copped 40 mil for a year. And has he looked any happier at all? Yeah. I think Ninja's happy. I think you're...

Dude, no. Ninja's depressed. Slime has this theory that Ninja has depression. He's like every 12-year-old... Slime's tech tips is a dick and Ninja is depressed. And they queue League together. It's insane. It's insane how dumb you are.

Look at Tyler, bro. Tyler and Linus on the rift. And he's just like, you're dumb as bricks. Dude, so I got onto the rift today with Tyler Ninja Blank.

Oh my God, bro. Oh my God, bro. Tyler and Linus playing Final Fantasy online together. Yeah, dude. And they're raiding. And you know Ninja's not hitting his fucking timings, bro. Tyler and Linus playing Final Fantasy Online together. Yeah, dude. And they're raiding. And you know Ninja's not hitting his fucking timings, bro.

You know it. You are as bad as the parasocial viewers you complain about. Damn. Yeah. You are just that. You know what the difference is, Ludwig? I am. There is no difference.

Ludwig, you know what the difference is? There is no difference. Are y'all doing this? Damn. Are your feet soft, too? You can do this? You're still dumb as bricks. It's because I'm funny when I do it. That is self-imposed.

Vote on your phones now. Yardigans. Don't appeal to them by using a parasocial name for them. My Yardigans. Yeah, Ninja did catch it back. But I think a bunch of people are going to leave Twitch, which is interesting. Why do you think they haven't asked me to do a deal yet?

That's a good question. With YouTube or Twitch? Both. Don't be too hungry. Why are you doing that face? No, say one. Say one. Don't be too hungry.

I feel like you are taking him seriously right now. I'm trying to get a Dailymotion contract. Dude. Exclusivity on Dailymotion? I don't know if you guys, if you watch like esports back in the day, specifically Dota. So Dota had this problem where it didn't really know where to be streamed. So if you want to watch a really big Dota game, this is like in 2013, 2012. You'd have to like, it was Dailymotion sometimes, was the only place you'd watch it.

Owned 3D TV. Owned TV, which is a tragic story that twitch did some wild shit research about that and then there was like join dota.com like it was crazy there was no centralized like place and now it's twitch but now it's changing and that's weird guys that's weird yeah i think i don't know i don't know everyone... Like, if the big streamers get signed to YouTube, like if 15 of them leave or something, and then, this is what I'm concerned about, they drop Prime. YouTube Prime. No, no, no, no.

Like, Twitch drops having Prime. Oh, yeah. I think they crash a train in their ecosystem. Do you think they want to give up on it, though? I think it's more like, damn, are we losing $100 million a year on this? We could probably cut this program. No, they're just giving back $250. No, wait, $5.

They're giving back $250 every time. Yeah, for every single Prime. Yeah, but they already got the money from the Prime. They're net positive. No, they got the money from the Amazon Prime, but I wouldn't say that Twitch is. There's no human on earth who's like, oh, Amazon Prime? Well, I guess if I want Twitch Prime, I should buy this product. It's more like 130 million people have Amazon Prime.

They're like, oh, free $5. I guess it serves as a marketing effort to keep them on their platform, and I don't think that hurts them if it costs them $2.50 per head. I think it doesn't even really cost them, right? Because it's only a cost assuming every Prime would be replaced by a tier one sub, which is not the case. No, I'm just saying in the sense that every time they give away the $250. Oh, but they're still paying the $250. Are paying the $250.

Yeah, so it's like about $100 million a year or something. My statement, the whole statement I made, it was completely incorrect. I was actually smoking weed while you guys were being nerds. What were we talking about? Yes, dude. I think they're going to get rid of twitch prime twitch is fine and then that's if they do though that'd be their death you know what my big problem with youtube is you can't find shit you can't find the live streams the ui is shit for streaming that's why i hate it copy it

take the lawsuit no i think there's an inside hound like they say in the movie it's a speed bump i i don't know if i'm a fucking idiot does anybody else have that problem where you go on youtube and you're like oh hey i want to find a youtube live stream and you just can't find it no i mean i just type in low to your god new streaming and i'm good to go they specifically make it worse so i don't think it so it doesn't like overtake their vod platform that's my conspiracy theory sure because their vod platform makes so much they don't want the live streams to be too big yeah i wonder if it fucks with the bread yeah they don't want to fuck with the bread i would love to be a fly on the wall at a youtube meeting i want bezos in general you want a john youtube in the fucking room

i want to see you and susan sit down bro me and i'm not saying shit about susan right now don't say shit about susan do not say anything about susan your track record with women of her age is not good on this podcast. Yeah, so what are you going to do, man? So here's my question. Would you ever consider transitioning into a different type of content on your YouTube channel? What do you mean by that? So, for instance, we just opened up a video where two people were eating food

after their child was nearly taken from them by the government. I become a mukbang YouTuber? Yeah, you could do whatever you want. My main goal is for this podcast to blow up, so all I gotta do is work once a week, and then I plan on moving to Nippon-desu. Oshide-kimasu. Oshide-kimasu.

You will never do that. Ludwig in fucking... Working once a week. Ludwig in Japan is gonna be a fucking problem. I actually don't think... Because it actually just enables him to do all the shit he does here in a place. He can just sit there with chopsticks eating something and looking at his phone, but everyone

else is doing it too. Yeah. Dude. I never thought about it that way. We are going to have our own yard Logan Paul scandal. That's what's going to happen. No, that is not going to- You are implying that-

The yard goes to the suicide forest? The suicide forest. You're going to- Oh, no. You're going to fill a dead body- No, we're not dead body, and then you're going to put fish on tabs. But how crazy would it be if we went and were like, someone did this? Guys, by the way, it gets kind of cold. Here's these hats. Dude, did you guys ever see?

Dude, and he was wearing the. We accidentally did the same thing. guys ever see dude and he was wearing the same thing you guys ever see the video because it was like there was the wave of shit for logan paul after naturally after showing a dead body in a youtube video and then he got like a second wave because people started watching the other videos he did in japan where he just like harasses people in the street fucking with people who are foreign yeah he's like throw dude he was like throwing poke harasses people in the street. Yeah, he's just like fucking with people who are foreign. Yeah, he's like throwing, dude, he was like throwing Pokeballs at people on the street.

Like hitting them. It was like he was playing Splatoon but like his gun was just racism. He was running around trying to cover as much of Japan as he fucking possibly could. It's crazy too because he does not blend in being six fucking four, like huge with the dumb hat on. It's like how an he does not blend in being six fucking four like huge with

the dumb ass running around. It's like how an anime portrays a dumb ass American. Yeah. He's like a gun and he's holding a plastic flag. He's like the big blonde guy in Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh yeah. Yu-Gi-Oh American they have him wearing an America USA bandana flag

over his head. He has sunglasses. Like fucking Uncle Rico. Yeah, exactly like Uncle Rico. It's like Uncle Rico if he played Yu-Gi-Oh. I have a question about Japan for you, Ludwig. How much, like let's say you could go to Japan, but all the

food you ever ate had to come from America and it was easy and it just like appeared in front of you, but you could not eat Japanese food. Would you still go? Like what's the altar? I just can't like basically you are unable to eat any Japanese food Yeah, I would be a bummer. I would want to go again, but I would go really yeah, dude Ludwig Ludwig in us in a super potato would be a fucking problem. Oh my god. You just buy everything It's a shop. It's a shop in Japan. There's like a few of them I've been I went to like maybe three or four when I was there, but they're like spread out

far apart and they just sell like retro gaming things. But like I have found like some really hard shit to find at those stores. Like the Hudson shooting watch I have. I found it there. There's like a bunch of cool shit. Yeah. They have like the Panasonic GameCube. They have like

shit like that. You would just go in and just buy shit. And it's, it's actually, it's, it's, it's shit gets more expensive. Cause like more Americans go and buy stuff.

But when I was there, like I bought, uh, the Panasonic GameCube controller for like 50 bucks. Wow. That's actually insane. Right now it's like fucking like over a hundred dollars. I think I've seen like a streamer.

I like a retro guy. Jen, he was in one of those stores and I just donated like one 50 and I was like, give me the Nintendo. You're just online shopping. Yeah, and he sent it to me. I have it. It's a Pikachu Nintendo 64. That's where that came from? Yeah, I just got it from him.

That rules. But I do think I would have a problem because I went to the mall the other day with Cutie. Got a massage which was terrible by the way. Why? Because they do facials do you know facial implies i feel like well illegal to do yeah i wouldn't let you do that no they did they did that to you bald guy came in he's like six two he kind of looks like this is the worst kind

of guy of facial they they were they extract all of your blackheads With this metal device That they just scrape on your skin That sounds great No it was so painful That sounds awful My face was beat right after I was literally writhing in pain Wait

And she's like Yeah When did this happen? This happened like a few days ago Let me see your blackheads Show them your blackheads I think I think were they on your nose?

I had Yeah she went dummy hard on my nose She did not let up I felt like shit while she's doing this By the way she goes it didn't work No they come back My nose is like caverns bro You just like rub soil on your face every fucking night

That's fucked up if they come back Then you have to do that shit all the time This is my face after it happened You look like you're in a fight I know I'm like sweaty and in pain and in red. Hold it up to the mobile cam. No way that works. Oh yeah, that works. That works? Yeah, 100%.

You look like you got tossed out of a bar. Wait, I actually also took this picture of the cringiest person on the internet the other day. I can't see it. It's a picture of Aiden. Nice. Very well done. Today, like an hour ago, I took a picture of Aiden and I went to say, want to take a look at this crazy guy saw earlier he goes yeah it's a good day one oh no it was the same 120 minutes after that but slightly

different word amen is very easy to like when he's doing something and you get his attention yeah forgets all conversations you ever had before you could probably do it like three times in a row aiden's gonna come home with a gun one day we gotta relax the guy that we have to befriend otherwise he says don't come to the yard tomorrow and then we're like oh damn bro i knew you're young load that bitch up i mean yeah i guess you already did get the yopper on the on the bonus patreon episode i think i was more impressed by the turnaround of that joke because I was sitting I sat down for like a couple seconds

he took the photo and then did the bit. Oh my god. I thought you were pointing at my shirt. You got destroyed. You got diced up. Come on. Why? You got hit with the day one? So after the day I went to a capsule, which I know there are a bunch in Japan.

Dude, this is like high school. It's like you hit a fucking nerd with the day one. Anyway, so on this date, I was at the mall. So Sasha, she's giving me a blow. And he's blowing his phone. He's writing his manifesto right now. He's adding to his list. He's playing down by a blink on A2.

He's playing at his AirPods. Yeah, I'm addicted to capsule machines because I was kept rolling for Kirby. Yeah, he got me a bunch of Kirbys. Are you fucking serious? Yeah, I put like 20 bucks in and I put all my didgeridoos to try to get Kirby. Yeah, I got one Kirby. I got a Sleepy, a Dedede. Where was my capsule, bro?

I did get you a small present that I have not given to you yet. You're waiting for the right moment. Your birthday. Yeah, next year. I have been absent. Yeah, you've been away. I haven't played a video game in so long. Yeah.

Do you feel like a part of you is gone forever? Yeah, absolutely. I'm 4'4". Yeah. Do you feel like a part of you is gone forever yeah absolutely i'm four four yeah do you feel like you're not whole anymore well i said for a very long time i was like it sucks being a gamer because you have to do this weird you have to do this weird thing in your life where you're like you jerk your own penis to make it yeah where it's like you're jelking but also like trying to aim and then like 50 of humans are just weird and hard to talk to and have big boobs i don't know what and i love them so much but i hate them so much

yeah uh yeah it's hard to be a gamer because it's like all right 30 of your life is like you're asleep right and then like 30 is like fucking like work and then the other it's like you somehow have to divide between the amount of games you want to play to feel satisfied in a gaming session like if i sit down for 20 minutes to play a game it's like i can't do that i can't play valorant for 20 minutes like it's a commitment of some sort uh but then you have to like also you have relationships and all these other things you want goals in your life to accomplish uh it sucks and i was like yeah i just don't know how to like be a gamer and exist and also get sleep because sleep is usually what gets sacrificed in that equation i just stopped playing games because i got too busy and now i'm like damn i just haven't played

a video game and i'm still like alive yeah what does that mean everything's okay it means you're you're just getting a little bit older now and that some things are are not priorities everything's turning gray and you realize that and it's sad it's sad. But the emptiness will one day engulf you. Yeah, and swallow me whole. Dude, you're becoming Eamon. I'm already me, and you're becoming Eamon, and he's becoming me. You're getting bald now. You're the same.

You are balding, and I can see it happening to you. I'm chilling. And you. Don't look at me. I'm good. You're like a zoo animal. I'm vibing. You're just a turtle.

You know what it is, by the way? All you have to do is just become a streamer. And then you can just game on stream. Dude, I have so many times gone, you know what? I'm going to start streaming. And then I open OBS. I see myself in the cam. And I hover start stream.

And I go, nah. I just don't. I think that's what Clint does. Dude, I think about it. I try to stream more. And I'm like, this is a really good idea. I'm going to do this today. And then I'll sit down and be like, I'm not ready.

It gives me so much anxiety. Really? But you know how I get over it? You just click the button. I can't. I could. I could, but. Also, I have an interesting.

Just call me in to click the button for you. I don't think that solves it. Because you sit down, you do. What was that? What did you throw at him? What was that? The napkin ball. What the fuck?

You've tightened that for a while. Jesus Christ. I threw it really high so it wouldn't hit him. I didn't know what you were throwing. I only saw gray. Let you know I could. So I thought it was like a screw or something heavier. A nut and a bolt. I threw it high. What did you want to say? Dude, I don't know. Cause like you sit down and you like do it for an hour and it's like man this sucks. Streaming? No, I'm fine with it going. I think that's a U-Tank. I have one of the like man this sucks streaming. Yeah, no, I'm fine I think that's a you I have one of the hardest jobs in the world. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, no no no As a fellow content creator

Yes, I am you know don't move the chair Over on my side. Sorry no clowns figured out that I have to hustle to pay our bills That's so close to my cock a little lower. Yeah, you and the Marines, dude. Fucking all our heroes. Yeah. Semper frag, bro. You disgust me. I was gonna, so I was talking to, so Ultimate Summit was this weekend, and I think it was really cool. It was actually, I don't

really love that game, but it was fun to watch. It was hype, dude. Yeah. It was such an amazing pool of players. Like, they got so many aggressive players to show up at one event. Dude, that game is so good when they just, when all the people in the tournament don't play the annoying characters well would you argue the same about melee no so sam is puff summit grand finals you'd be hype about i would okay well you're a freak so there i get once again thank you amen you weren't hype you weren't hype when duck you weren't hype when duck three out hbox

no i wasn't interesting no it's not interesting i was thinking about those beans dude i could have been less involved i would say if it's plup samus and hbox i'd be torched yeah yeah but it wasn't i guess i just like plup a lot and that's that's what i guess anyway the key by the way really quick just a quick note i want to add so uh tweak, who won the event, is a listener of The Yard. Shout out to Tweek. Shout out to Bea. Both of them watch the show. Also, Quinn watches the show. So we've realized that The Yard is actually just the breakfast of champions.

If you want to be the best in NA at a video game, you just got to watch our show. His morning ritual is like bowl of cereal. Two of the hundreds of thousands of schmucks sitting at home happen to be the best at their video game. Yeah, it's super sick. Tweek watch, so I think that's really fun. Apropos of that, so I was talking after the event with Bam and TK and Kony.

We were all just kind of like talking about, they were actually doing like brawl, old head like reminiscing. And do you guys know K9? Yeah. So most of us know him if you've like watched smash content for a long time as the guy who like rages a lot yeah that's all i know he's in a he's in salty moments and uh you know he like throws control he runs out of the room he screams he gets really emotional and they were telling me he's like uh bam bam and then we're

saying he's like actually a really nice guy and he just gets really emotional and it's like it sucks that this is the thing he's known for. Apparently, though, now he just grinds Valorant. He's really sick. That's awesome. Yeah, and it blew my mind. He's probably the most toxic teammate ever. Is he, though?

Dude, Valorant is infuriating. No, no, because you don't work together in Smash. I guess it's possible that he's able to get angry. I can't imagine a little bit of rage doesn't come out of him. And I respect him for that. I'm just saying it's sick that he's like quietly in some like dark like Twitch cavern just streaming and playing Valorant all the time. And he's like cracked at it. And it leads me.

Is he cracked? Yeah. They told me he's cracked. That's sick. He's like really good. So my question, Ludwig would be very tuned to this. Who has a reputation that is completely different from like the person that they are? XQC in person.

Really? Is way different. Wait, what? I thought the exact opposite when I met him. Really? Yeah. When we met him in Texas, he just sat down at the Mario Kart setup and played video games. And the way he was talking was like exactly like on stream. He gets blue shellies.

I think it was like that like on stream he gets blue shellies i think it was like that yeah just much more i haven't i haven't had a quality conversation with him though so like i don't know shit i don't know like off stream he is like mr crabs and on stream he's like mr crabs does ketamine mr crabs and he's like way more fucking hyper and he's still mr crabs but he's like on ket and he's like way too... Has anyone been following this analogy? Kett brings you down by the way. You don't know this video game? No, Kett brings you down. Oh, is it a game? Yeah, Mr. Krabs does Kett. Oh, I didn't know about this. It's a video game

and then he goes super fast and he's crazy. Why would they make him go fast? I don't know. It's just how the game works. It's called the K-hole. Every time he takes Kett, he goes really fast around the map. Kett's a tricky Mac. That's insane. Kettamine King. But either way, he's like way more chill because like online he's hyper at all times and like constantly on and always like action-packed and has no lull

between content pieces and then a person he's like yeah dude yeah man there's like a normal human right yeah i mean are there people that you've met that are like that all the time because that would be kind of like miskiff yeah miskiff i think miskiff is exhausted in his own skin miskiff must be like damn i i don't stop so you've never seen him turn off the only time he turns off is when he pulls out his phone to refresh new on lsf oh no dude and that's and then he's like just kind of looking through that shit but then i'll be like he'll go back to like whatever like i remember we were sitting in a group it was me hasan and mizkif they were like talking a bit and then had the great anamorph the downward one there was a lull in the conversation and then mizkif just kept filling it and then i was like i was just like kind of like it was early so i just didn't talk

and then hasan also didn't talk and mizkif just didn't stop talking but it was it was it was nothing it was like yeah i don't know everyone everyone has a nice house as a streamer man i i got my house you guys are so fucking rich you guys have so many more subs than me yeah you guys buy a lot of houses what do you guys think about yes you guys so fucking so you guys hate me it's like it wouldn't stop it was like it was like until we would respond he would like keep going and we were like i think asan finally broke he's like man you don stop. It was like until we would respond, he would like keep going. And we were like, I think Assad finally broke it. He's like, man, you don't shut the fuck up, do you? Miskif has never once said my name to me when we're talking.

Oh, yeah. He just calls you Ludwig. He calls me Ludwig. Yeah. Yeah. Because he thinks it's funny. Yeah. Do you like that?

I feel bad for Nick. But Miskif. I have met him so many times. And he just says, hey, Ludwig. And I'm like, is this a bit that I'm supposed to enjoy too? I wonder how far the excuse of, oh, that's just Mizkiff can go. Because it goes a long way. I think he just doesn't know my name and refuses to learn it. But anytime he does anything like that, you can be like, oh, that's just Mizkiff.

Yes. There is a line where that has to stop. Yeah, the line is my Twitch viewer number. That's the fucking line. That's a good point. Does he still call you Ludwig? Oh, 100%. Zero shot.

It's funnier. I think for sure, yeah. If you're a 20K Andy, he still calls you Ludwig. No shot. Because of the context of you. He called Pokey a bitch live. That is not the same. Even a little bit.

No, you know what? I'm following you. Go ahead. Oh, this is crazy. crazy yeah you have him on your side that's it he just called looking strong saying that is less hurtful i think to call you ludwig maybe it's the same i was like all right i'm on board and break it down scientist and he's like that's it that's there's nothing else he just called pokey a live. I think that's about as bad as calling someone else. What was the context? It was like she called him Matthew, I think, or something. They were talking about nicknames. And then he basically said, like, what's your nickname?

And then he went, bitch. Something like that. It was like that was the whole context. I've been, like, weird. I think I've said this before, but I've been, like, weirdly impressed with how much I've liked all the streamers that I've met. That I expected to meet and, like, think they were the worst people ever why would you assume that uh because i've seen streamer brain take over people i feel like so often they just lose their humanity and are refresh bots of social media yeah uh but i just i don't know i think there's a lot of like like people that like uh it's like hard to believe like I don't know. I think there's a lot of people that it's hard to believe.

I don't want to name names to get fucking armies on us. But here. It's not Lily Peachy's real voice. Scott is editing this. Just blur this out. I don't ever want to fucking meet that guy. I'm sure he's the worst. But approach everyone I've met, I've liked a lot.

Or at least been like, wow, they're pretty cool in person, even though I probably would never hang out with them. It's been a pretty good record with everybody. Yeah. There was that fun time because we were all, before we had met a lot of these people, there was that question of whether or not they were going to be weird. And when the Botas sisters came over, you, you came downstairs.

Have we told this story? I can't remember. I was trying to, I was actually trying to remember No we haven't So the Botas sisters Come over to our house And this is like 5 4 months ago something like that

And this is probably the first Time that like some other Big Twitch streamers are visiting Visiting our house I think And They come over. They're hanging out with Cutie. They're doing, like, a cake stream with Cutie. You know, that part's going well, it seems like.

And then they go down to the living room to, like, go hang out. And me and Nick, we go downstairs to, like, hang out with the guests for the evening, right? Dude, I had to drag myself out of my room to hang out. Which I was proud of you for doing. Yeah yeah if you guys don't know this i like like playing group activities guests like too many pgas we call them i am just so it's like exhausting for me and i and i typically do fine when i'm there but it's like oh so i like dude i was like walking downstairs like a little kid you're like a dota hero you have all

these weird attributes and things where it's like yeah he'll do this but only if it's like this they're like all right he'll hang out with friends but not if they think about it beforehand and plan it and like he'll watch a movie but you have to know what movie and if i get a whiff that it's been planned i leave yeah it's crazy it makes no sense to me it's like trying to approach like a squirrel yeah anytime you make any sudden movements he just runs away i'm mixed and i'll be kind of discovering this myself i'm extremely introverted and i just i i'm i brighten up when i'm in a comfortable space but it's still a lot for me so anyway i come downstairs yeah yeah and we had been down there for with them for a while

but me and aiden the chat extroverts are hanging out downstairs just shooting the shit and we're getting along well like everybody's getting along it's uh we're just talking for like 30 minutes uh they seem like very cool very normal and then you come downstairs you walk down in uh you know in a typical you know in a typical slime outfit you know just like you know why do we have to talk about what i'm wearing no because i think it's just it does add the context is important because yeah so slime comes out what was i wearing comes out wearing fingerless gloves uh clown shoes yeah and a guitar here guitar around my face he looks like fad jarvis chaps weemote in one hand and i'm like oh do we have have guests oh hello and uh you say hi and you sit down in in the corner like like next to the tv on the floor of the room and you're like so uh are you guys like shills

and like and like shill is not a word by any means that was invented in gaming or like is exclusive to our space or anything. But like, it's definitely a word that is used specifically in our group very frequently. Yeah. And contextually in this way, more so in our group than other groups. And he just sits down and goes like, so are you guys shills? And I've never seen two more confused human beings, they're so polite so she's like what do you mean yeah and i i've never seen slime miss so hard in a social interaction in my whole life i struggle i don't think i don't think i've ever seen wait how did you wait what'd you do i just

basically had to explain what i was saying he's like so ashil is someone who um trying to fight through the sentences of explaining by what he by show, right? And not just completely offend them by coming down and being like, are you guys fucking bloodthirsty streaming monsters? In addition, it's a word I've used for so long as a shorthand that I've forgotten how to define it. And that happens to me a lot, actually. I'll just say something and assume people know what I'm talking about and then yeah and basically trying to trying to work it back and explain what I said without making them feel bad because I didn't necessarily mean it as like a bad thing but they don't know that because it has a negative connotation they're just being introduced anyway that's your first sentence to them, that's, well, there you go. Are you guys? I read it! I read it!

That same night, Alex introduced us to poop music. Yeah. Apparently, there is a type of music you can listen to. You look up on YouTube, it's like poop music 2.0, music to listen to while you poop. And it's not the brown note. No, no, no, no. But it's just music. It's like.

It had deep bass to it and it's like really weird it sounds like if you like like stepped on the crazy frog or something uh and it supposedly helps you shit um and she gave it great reviews so she was telling us all about that was our first conversation our first conversation with them was just all about crazy how weird of a conversation you had as your first one and then you still came in with a weirder one. I still botched it. Yeah. They started with poop music, and you were like, we can bond over pooping. That's how I knew they weren't shills, was because she was so openly, comfortably having that conversation.

Yeah, I think that's really cool. I like the idea that people who are, I guess you have this perception of them, for instance, like Linus, right? Or K-9 or whoever. And then you meet them and they just show this like immediate humility. And like, I'm a person. And I think that's really great. And I think that happens more than we give credit for because we see people on screens more than we talk to them. This is absolutely the first time that Linus, K-9, and the Botezisters has ever been brought up in the same 60 seconds.

You just said a unique sentence. Good job. 100%, I think most streamers, though, even me, are all chills. Sellouts. They lose all their shame. The only streamer I have met who I was like, oh, wait, you're actually a normal adult

was Jerma and Kitboga. Because I met them and they were like real adults I remember specifically we did a rehearsal scene and in the scene We were like standing around germa chanting like you're a poop boy. Did you poop yourself? It's supposed to be a nightmare Rehearsing the block is like us always sunny a bit It was really funny and then after he was like that was that was way we went out of line there that was crazy and i was like oh wait he still holds on he still has dignity and like humility and like oh like like he has this which like i feel like all streamers immediately lose

and make themselves clowns and go it's just funny you know what's funny the the similarity between those two streamers particularly is that they both have extremely unique products. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're able to like remain human because their product is so unique. They don't need to shill because they're like one of the few doing what they're doing. Yeah. By the way, if you're a melee head and in the old days of like Anthur's Ladder Netplay, you were diced up or diced up somebody named Jerma985 on uh anthers netplay that was aiden wait that was you

really i was germa 985 on melee netplay for like almost i was uh i had so many i had dirt bike rider 320 dirt bike rider so fox racing 34 the sonny bong. I was Gutex. Really? That one's aged beautifully. It's so funny. Hey, GGs, the vaccine's not real. Just drink bleach. It'll literally help. I have horse paste in my mouth. I'm only losing because of the vaccine.

Yeah, I had Gutex. It's actually funny that you had Germa. This is a true story. Do you guys know... Wait, sorry, Nick. You'll help me out here. Who's former world best chess guy? Wait, best chess? 90s.

Yeah, he lost to Big Blue. You might know. Kasparov? Andrea Bates. Kasparov? The most famous chess player to ever play the game. Yeah, maybe like the GOAT, unless you think Magnus is the GOAT, but top two either way. Go yet.

But Kasparov's name on chess.com was it's hafu which is hafu's exact twitch name and he's just dicing people up dicing people up before hafu played chess as it's hafu because hafu who was a hearthstone like you know celebrity at that point had a fan uh and that fan was a person who helped set up Kasparov's chess account. He was like, name it, whatever. And then they made the It's Hoffu.

Wow. He had no idea. I don't think Kasparov had any fucking clue but he was dicing people up and they were like, dude, the girl from Hearthstone?

What? I'm a GM. I wonder how many chess players got turned on to Hearthstone just to see what it was about. Yeah. Just to make sure. Just to check. And then Hoffu turned on to Hearthstone just to see what it was about. Yeah. Just to make sure.

Just to check. And then Hafu is, like, grinding Hearthstone ladder with Kasparov as her tag. And it's sponsored by McDonald's. Yeah. So when she joined PogChamp, she had to pick a different name because her name was stolen by Kasparov. Which is probably the, like, coolest person to steal your name. Yeah. Absolutely.

That's pretty sick. What if Tom Brady comes out in a Ludwig jersey? It's not the same because you can see that it's him. I think that's the idea. Oh, sure, yeah. You can't smurf as Tom Brady. Yeah, there's no smurfing in real sports because you're just the guy. What if you got surgery to look like some other dude?

Like the masked singer, but it's with actual sports. Yeah, it's with permanent change to your body and they look like tony the tiger you could do makeup and prosthetics you could do a masked singer with like f1 where you just like have the full f1 like race but you put 20 random people in the cars and they all there's devastating crashes every weekend canceled after the pilot episode documentaries their cars only go max speed what about yeah i think sports that you could conceal your face or you have to conceal your face is like prime time like fencing fencing exactly yeah do you think you'd be good fencing oh dude it's only celebrities they take off the mask it's fucking dream and tom brady

dude dream takes off the fencing mask And there's just another Mask This is not yet guys Not yet Dude you know what I want to do Sports wise Not mask up But I want

Play soccer with me Chess boxing Do you want to play Soccer with Nick No I want to do Chess boxing I want to do Chess boxing

So bad You know what Can you just find The rules of chess boxing Okay yeah It exists There's chess boxing Tournaments

No I know Can you say the rules Oh can I? Okay, yeah. It exists. There's chess boxing tournaments. No, I know. Can you say the rules? Oh, can I say it right now? Yeah. I think generally the way it works is you'll do a round of boxing and a round of chess. Wait, which one do you do first? I think it usually starts with chess.

Okay, thank God. Ludwig, we can do the thing. Do what thing? So when I worked at Beyond the Summit, it was my job to make an event for a giant melee tournament that was ancillary to the event. And so I ended up doing the second roast of Bobby Scar. But I had asked Ludwig for any ideas, and he said, melee boxing. Oh, yeah.

And you play melee. It's just like chess boxing, which is? Well, chess boxing is, yeah. You play one round of chess, and then you'll do one round of boxing. And if you checkmate or knock them out, you win. it's just like chess boxing which is well chess boxing's yeah you play like one round of chess and then you'll do run one run one round of boxing if you checkmate or knock them out you win and so awesome it would be melee boxing so it's instead of chess it's melee and we were thinking like what'd be sick matchups right i go to my boss ken chen hot bid and he says no we can't do that there's liability stuff it's probably illegal and i said pussy and then i left the company all right all right so let's just say it's chess boxing it's floyd mayweather versus It's probably illegal. And I said, pussy. And then I left the company. All right. All right.

So let's just say it's chess boxing. It's Floyd Mayweather versus Magnus Carlsen. And they start with chess. Who wins? Does Magnus Carlsen checkmate him in a minute? Or does Floyd knock him out the first minute in the ring? Floyd can't read. That's what has been.

Floyd Mayweather has been made fun of by 50 cent for not being able to read words oh no like terribly like maybe it was more than made fun of bullied on the internet yeah he's hilarious bullied a world champion boxer who defeats people with his hands to be fair when you have been shot that many times and lived i think you're not afraid of some hands it's also it's like it doesn't matter the default't matter how many millions of dollars you have if you can't read. That's not true. Bro, chill. He could come on.

We're trying to get Floyd. So, Floyd, what do you think about what Eamon said a couple of episodes ago? We were close to Floyd when we went to Vegas. He's sitting there like this with a Game Boy. I don't know. We went to Vegas during the Floyd Logan vegas during the floyd logan fight uh and floyd mayweather was in the gucci store right when i wanted to go there really and it

was packed all outside we couldn't get in i was trying to go to get an outfit because we had some like dinner planned uh and i didn't have a fancy outfit on and i couldn't get into the store i asked people like what's going on they're, oh, Floyd Mayweather's here. I see an entourage of people walk out. They're like six, six bodyguards. And you cannot see Floyd because he's short as fuck and he's in the center of this.

So it's like literally impossible. So people are putting like their phones over the bodyguards shoulders to get a glimpse of him. But he shut down the Gucci store. Yeah, he thought it said Geico. He was looking for insurance. He couldn't read it.

Oh, shit, I got a new car. He's like Charlie, like the Gucci store. He thought it said Geico. He was looking for insurance. He couldn't read it. Oh, shit. I got a new car. He's like Charlie at every sign. Do you remember the 6ix9ine Instagram video where he's in an airport? He's on an airplane runway. And in a circle are standing like 20 bodyguards uh facing outward and six nine is in the middle of them just break dancing wait oh i do remember this yeah absolute legendary video and i'm like that guy's fucking that's crazy i can't believe that's the sickest thing i've ever

heard in my life why don't you do that i'm looking at zipper go through to find this he's going through tabs. He goes through Animorphs. He goes through Mario standing in a T-Post. He goes through Logan Paul at the Suicide Forest. Your show was a fucking mistake. Dude, Zipper, how did you do this? Did you make this? I bet there's a generator.

There's no way that was made. I gave Zipper the Adobe Suite back there, and he's fucking going to town. Holy shit. To answer your question, by the way uh floyd wins that for sure i think you think so because i i think you can stall enough in chess that you can't win in one round well how many minutes are the game you can do speed chess but i assume the round of chess is not as long as your entire game clock it was a bullet yeah if i guess if you squirmed the rules that way where the one round of chess was that

short then yeah uh i have a question yeah who is the lowest tier of celebrity who still shuts down the gucci store dude we talked about this when it happened to it it's like zippers having fun back there high tier celebrity you gotta you gotta be pretty famous to shut down a Gucci store. The lowest tier celebrity. There's a cut off, right? There's some sort of line that defines the celebrities who don't shut down the Gucci store and the celebrities who do.

Lover doesn't shut down a Gucci store. What streamer does? None of them. No streamer. I don't think any YouTuber shuts down a Gucci store. Mr. Beast. I think Mr. Beast, if he called ahead think any YouTuber shuts down a Gucci store. Mr. Beast. Linus. No. I think Mr. Beast, if he called ahead, this was not like a planned shutdown.

I think he just showed up. Yeah, you show up and they shut it down. Linus. Linus Tech Tips, the Botet sisters. It's a bunch of people trying to kill him. And K9. And K9 shuts down the Gucci store. K9.

I don't think any streamers or YouTubers are that big of celebrities. Maybe like Olivia Rodrigo. Well, yeah, obviously. She's like Normie famous. Yeah, I guess she just became Normie famous, though. Yeah. She's fresh to the list. She's fresh to the list.

That's the best. But she's still going to shut down streets. Pierce Brosnan might get it done. He's a dance sociopath. Pierce Brosnan does not get it done. They go, sorry, the bathroom's this way. He's like, I was James Bond. Penn and Teller shut down the Gucci store.

With facts and logic. God isn't real. And neither are these snake skin boots. Ben Shapiro shuts down the Gucci store. So imagine that I'm having sex with these boots. That was a good Ben. I've done it before.

I could have done a funnier line. Hey, but you know what is even funnier? The content that is about to be on the bonus episode, which is coming up soon. Yeah, that is true. Ludwig, are you going to do your fucking bonus episode? I said I would do it monthly.

Ludwig, well, we talked about bi-weekly, potentially. Kappa. Kappa? All right, well, monthly. But last episode, I think it was in the bonus you said this, or maybe it was in the regular episode, you were like, yeah, I could do a show with anime. And in the kitchen the other day, I'm like, hey, Ludwig, are you going to do your show? And he goes, no shot.

And I'm like, what's wrong with you? Why would you say something publicly if you don't want to do it? Why are you dancing now? I just said it on the private app. Okay, what happens on the private app stays on the private app. We're on the public app now. Ludwig wants to do a show about anime. Oh, what next?

You want to show him Izzy gets hosed? Keep the camera on. No, no, no, no, no. No Izzy. It's okay. They need to see this. I'll show them exactly what happened to Izzy, and then I'll give them the anime review. Don't show them Izzy.

OG Ludbone Alright well if you are not going to be seeing us In the bonus episode that is on Patreon Then we will see you next week And if you are stay tuned or swap over to that feed Because we are ending this hot one With Ludwig's hot one He's actually going to show his penis

Give us a tummy Stop rubbing your tummy And There's children that watch this guys Alright well thanks for listening actually going to show his penis. Give us a tummy. Give us a tummy. Stop rubbing your tummy. And... There's children that watch this, guys. Come on. I can't show them. All right.

Well, thanks for listening. Save it for the bonus episode. Thanks for listening or watching, depending on what day. And if you want to keep listening, we'll see you in the bonus episode. See you later.