Theology in the Raw - #621 - BJ Thompson - #MeToo - Social Media - Good Relationships

Episode Date: November 27, 2017

Today Preston is back in the basement with BJ Thompson.  BJ Thompson works as a counselor and a life coach with Build a Better Us. Check them out at buildabetterus.com.  Preston and BJ are talking about the #MeToo, abuse, social media in today's world and about how we can have 'good' relationships.  Connect with BJ @BJ116 Check out Tedashi's Way Up ft. KB Support Preston Support Preston by going to patreon.com Connect with Preston Follow him on Twitter @PrestonSprinkle Check out his website prestonsprinkle.com If you enjoy the podcast, be sure to leave a review. Support Preston Support Preston by going to patreon.com Connect with Preston Follow him on Twitter @PrestonSprinkle Check out his website prestonsprinkle.com If you enjoy the podcast, be sure to leave a review.

When you say, I do, on that day, you're married one version of that person. A year, two years later, the person that you were married to on the day you said, I do, is a completely different person. And you have to go catch up to figure out who that person is, not just who the person episode of Theology in the Raw. And guess who is back with me? The requested, the highly contagious, the man who is... You know what? You are my first returnee. I've had many guests on, and you're the first one that I said, let's do this again. And I love all my other guests, but you're the first duplicate here.

Wow. I'm honored, man. Wow. So we have BJ Thompson back on, folks. And I think part of it was due to, I just had an amazing time talking with you last time. Right when I got done, I was like, dang, we got to do this again. And apparently a lot of people on Twitter said,

you guys got to do that again. Wow. Yeah, no, the timing. I think the timing of our podcast last time, I don't think we anticipated the timing of what would occur in the social realm. Right. And so when we recorded the podcast about LGBT community, if you have not checked out that episode make sure you go back in yeah listen to that but when we reported the podcast actually that was the the week yeah that um colin kaepernick's protest blew up again in in culture so it was actually kind of a very i mean it was very timely man so no i enjoyed it thanks for having me again you you made some

pretty yeah you made some pretty prophetic statements in there that ended up being an amazing commentary on what happened a week later, almost, or a couple days later. Give us an update. So the whole take a knee thing that I think was pretty, man, it was pretty big and still is in some ways. But I feel like after maybe, what, September, it kind of died down? Or where's it been since we last talked uh just uh the media stopped talking about it is that what it is yeah yeah yeah listen they have a job to keep they have to keep their sponsors so yeah no people still taking a knee no it's still happening it's just that man sponsors and produces i mean there's a lot of money built into right you know these these

large broadcasts and so yeah no they they had to stop talking about it like hey listen you want to keep your job you want to keep that nice little condo you have don't report another on this so yeah man like i said i thought it was a very lively conversation yeah and grateful and i believe man there is a larger growing sentiment and desire to want to get language and have some sort of understanding. It's one thing, maybe there was a point in time where people were okay with just being ignorant

and not knowing. But I think that there are things that are happening in culture now that beg deeper questions than just the simplistic answers that we've just kind of assigned to them. And so, yeah, I think that's part of the success, right, is being able to give something with

a little bit more depth than just these people who are angry or hateful or whatnot. So, no, man, definitely honored and excited to do that. A buddy of mine, Ed Uzinski, he's been with Athletes in Action for 20-plus years. He's got a PhD in American studies, like cultural studies. I mean, he's an athlete across the board, but he's a super sharp dude. He wrote, I think, the best written response to the Take an E. It was fascinating. And I can't remember the title for the life of me, but if you Googled Ed Uzinski, which, yeah, good luck spelling that.

I don't even know how to spell it. He's one of my best friends. But there was a few, I mean, many things he said in there, but one was he contrasted the two extreme responses to the take a knee. One was a picture of a football player taking a knee, and knee one was a picture of a football player taking a knee kind of superimposed on that scene of the army soldiers in world war ii where they're lifting the flag you know this kind of like you know this arrogant protest of of you know people who have died for our country and the other picture was an american flag and faded in the background where a bunch of people being hung wow you know lynched and

and one was a child in the sort of the black that the red and white uh uh what am i look at the stripes and it was it was uh it was so fascinating because he kind of played on those two themes of kind of the the visceral reaction that people had. But then he said, the nature of protest is to do something that, that, that offends their sensibility. And whether you agree, if it's right or wrong, it goes in a sense,

it's wrong. It's breaking the NFL code. It's, it's, it's provoking all this stuff, but that's what protest is. It is doing something that offends people's sensibilities so that they can wake up and have a discussion and and just the way he articulated was really

brilliant but it very much captured so much of what we talked about in the episode yeah yeah no and just to close that point i think protests should always appeal to a moral righteousness that supersedes the existing norm and so when you see King protesting the things that were occurring, and they call it civil disobedience, he had to appeal to the greater law of the Most High and the Creator that every man and woman comes up under, not the discriminatory practices that human beings can oftentimes, whether they know it or not, operate in. And so, yeah, I think when you start talking protests, there has to be a larger, more meaningful conversation on more righteousness that supersedes the current norm. So that when you begin to call people to solidarity, it's not

just being disobedient towards the norm just to be disobedient. It's to say that there is something that is ailing us or lacking in the way that we're exercising this, and it's creating, it's undermining our moral consciousness, not just the bottom line budget of things. So yeah. That's great, man. Well, you know, the the good news is is since we talked last there's been you know racism has been ended uh there's no sex there's no sex scandals yeah we have we are in a utopia let's uh and i actually want to circle back around to some of that stuff but let's talk about you you you deal with the topic of marriage and married couples. And you mentioned earlier that, offline, that you are just seeing this, how do you say it?

I mean, the divorce rates are always super high. But almost like an increase of people just giving up too easily. You want to talk about that? That enduring emotional journey of relationships yeah did you ask what did you say last thing you said pressing well it's your quote the enduring enduring the emotional journey of relationships oh absolutely yeah there's a there's a quote in scripture says that no king goes to battle unless they've counted the cost and i think that there's something about being

in a relationship, specifically in a covenant relationship with your spouse, that we don't just get to count the cost. I think about dating my wife, and I just love hanging out with her. She was a very close friend to me in our dating relationship. And I just enjoyed that. But man, Preston, I mean, the moment we got married, I realized that the friendship was going to be much more costly than what I had imagined and that it wasn't as glamorous. And there wasn't a script that really spoke to like how much I would realistically have to endure and transform during a time of our relationship. And so I don't think it's just in race, right?

I think we kind of make that the thing. I think it's in social media. I think it's in friendships. undergirding that allows us to either learn when to refine and to shift where we are with a relationship um or to step away from a relationship or to begin to reevaluate who we are investigatively um so that we can become more what we should be in this season not what we were um at a particular point in time so yeah what you What'd you think, Press? Well, I, you know, I often agree with that. When in doubt, agree with BJ Thompson, but no, no, I mean,

I absolutely resonate with that. And I think my biggest question is what role, let me back up. It seems like humans are more sloppy at relationships now than before. And just it's like we've gone backwards a little bit on relationships, marriages, and just relationships as a whole. And my biggest question, I guess it's kind of an elephant in the room, but what role does social media play in that? What role does social media play in that? Because most people are either heavily attached to social media or flat out addicted. As in they can walk into a clinic and they would walk away with a prescription because they're actually having what can be diagnosed as an actual addiction. And yet there's a rise, a massive rise of the appearance of connectedness through social media and yet also a rise of

loneliness anxiety depression and lack of relationships so have you thought through that i mean the role that social media plays in all this yeah yeah that's a great question i think what it's not social media right it's it's what our parents have our parents had. Our parents had cigarettes. Right? To take breaks. You know, their parents had, you know, different coping mechanisms. I think human beings are always finding coping mechanisms, right? There was a generation that coped with alcohol. And they were all alcoholics, right? And so prohibition, just the whole thing.

I think human beings, at our core, desire comfort. And we desire the ease of things we don't like things to be challenging and so you know for this generation social media and i would say the immediacy of connection i mean chat lines person i grew up with the chat line uh i don't know if you ever heard of like there was a there was a thing they should have a party line right and you could just call in and meet people you know my parents grew up at the disco place and i'm just saying like yeah there's always this desire in human beings to cut corners yeah when it comes to things that are challenging right and so this generation being no different has found a way to cut corners with things like tinder

um with things like this on the snap you know and to just get to the things that you really want. I think the most challenging thing about it, though, is you realize sometimes the thing that you desire the most doesn't come like that. Right. It doesn't come in a robust way. It's a cheapened experience of what you truly desire and what you look what you look for. of what you truly desire and what you look for. And because we are not, we have not received the skills to create the formation of those things, oftentimes we find ourselves just longing for those things with the semblance of what it could be from small, shallow experiences. And so a friendship is just how many likes.

A relationship is just how much you can touch me and how much I can enjoy it. A marriage becomes how we look successful. And so what I think is there has to be a redefining of what those things are, but it will not come through intuitive thinking. It will come through the deconstruction of what you, you assume about life and the reconstruction of what it should be.

I have this event. If you go check out buildabetterus.com called pursuing the extraordinary pressing, which is a one to two day couples experience and where I try to help people deconstruct, but then also reconstruct what relationships should be and how they can find joy in them. What are some of the things that you feel like you constantly have to deconstruct? Goodness gracious. Everything? How many you want me to name? Presses like 500 things.

Give me the top 17. I got you. I got you. You said, what are the things I feel like I have to consistently deconstruct? I got you. You said, what are the things I feel like I have to consistently deconstruct? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe expectations in marriage that seem to be kind of pretty common across the board that, you know, that don't get met, you know, a few years into marriage or whatever. Yeah. So so here's what I would say. I think the conversation has to shift to relationships because the generation now struggles with marriage because it seems so far, right? It seems if you're not already in committed covenant relationship, it seems like, man, what are you guys talking about? You feel excluded from the conversation. And what I would say is the shift has to go towards relationships and how do I develop healthy relationship? Because that's what a marriage is. A marriage honestly is a lifelong friendship.

And if you don't have a, you know, a good working knowledge of how to create lifelong friendship, then you will struggle. And so one of the things I would say is a consistent thing is making your spouse the center of your relationship, right? Where your joy and your happiness is contingent on their behavior. And Preston, I don't know how long you've been married, but you've been married 15 years. And if my wife is waiting to find joy because I'm being nice that day, it might be a rough week. It might be a rough month, right? She'll find herself consistently in instability. And so that's one of the things that I see. instability. And so that's one of the things that I see. Also, people don't anticipate the fact that the person you got married to isn't the person you are married to now. When you say I do on that day,

you're married one version of that person. A year, two years later, the person that you were married to on the day you said I do is a completely different person. And you have to go catch up to figure out who that person is, not just who the person was at the day of the altar. That's scary for people considering marriage, right? They're like, wait a minute. What if I don't like the person in two years? Hey, listen, get your lunch. Bring your lunch for this. Back your lunch because this is about to be a long thing. It's scary. No, listen, Preston, it is absolutely scary. And it is true for all people everywhere. I mean, again, I travel all over the country, speaking of couples.

And sometimes it's funny because I talk to, you know, minority couples. I talk to white couples. And sometimes I think it's funny to me. I'm around white couples and they legitimately don't know that I know that they're a mess. It's funny to me. I'm actually kind of entertained by the fact that they don't think, they think that they only need help in race and not in marriage. And I'm like, but wait, you do terrible. You're terrible at relationships racially. That means that you're probably not as good at relationships maritally like that's the parallel to everything and so yeah we're all the same

anywhere you go president we all have the same struggle do you see any differences i mean obviously not across the board but between the minority couples you work with and white couples like are there not at all not at all okay geographyography. Geography. Geography. And then I would say just some of it is a little bit more communal. But no, they're all, they have almost the exact same issues. And they don't know it. Wow.

Well, since we're in relationships, what's going on in society with all these sex scandals coming out? How come all of a sudden guys started groping girls? Is this a new thing, or is this something that's been going on there for a while? Have you processed just this explosion of scandals coming out? Yeah, that's a scary thing. You're right. I think it is actually pretty alarming. I've read some think pieces on why it's not that big of a deal. And

I'm very alarmed by it. I'm alarmed by people of faith who have to turn their heads towards these issues simply because it contradicts their political ideology. And I go, man, we have a candidate who was accused of pedophilia, and we can't say that's wrong? Like, that's challenging to me. I'm very talented. I have a teenage daughter. I'm very disturbed by that. And so, I don't know.

I think what's happening is that for the first time, people without voices can be heard. It's not new. It's all old. I mean, I've been shocked. I'm not sure if he's following the Me Too hashtag. I was almost paralyzed reading some of the testimonies of these women. And it wasn't that I was paralyzed because I couldn't believe it.

I was paralyzed because I couldn't believe it and I've seen it. And I just didn't know how to process it. I just didn't have a category for that sort of like vulnerability and transparency and just going, man, this is the society that we live in. This is not some fictional make believe exaggeration of the truth. This is a society. And so what I think is occurring with the Me Too's, I actually think it happened around Ferguson. I think the moment people of color were able to

begin to tell their story to systems and structures and power, that as that watershed, similar to the civil rights movement, the civil rights movement opened up the doors for tons of other movements during its time because for the first time, people in marginalized groups felt compelled to share things that had who've suppressed grief, pain, trauma and abuse are seeing other people speak out. And instead of them, it's called trauma bonding, Preston. Instead of just watching people speak out and be isolated, they're joining in chorus and saying no it's not just you it's me too yeah so i think we're at a very pivotal time in our society as it relates to truth telling so you're saying these are linked i mean that's interesting to go back to ferguson and it's kind of like a domino effect or somehow just empowering other people who have been an oppressed minority on some level to be joined together where where's this going to, God, what's the, I mean, do you feel like we're living,

this is just kind of the natural rhythm of how society goes, or do you think we're living at a really kind of unique time? And if so, what does the next year or five years look like? I mean, it could go different directions here. Yeah, that's a great question. I think history teaches us a lot, right? When you look historically what happened in the civil rights movement and what happened during a lot of those instances, what happened was they were shushed and they were silenced. And a lot of the visible leaders were put to death because they were bringing too much noise to this.

I think what's interesting is that we can't shush and silence a person because there's not a person. But I think what happens is you shush and silence the mechanism that allow people to tell truth out loud, right? So net neutrality becomes something of very significant concern because now you can say, hey, we can prioritize certain things and certain voices based off of their ability to pay to be heard, right? If you now have to pay to be heard, your ability to tell the truth out loud isn't going to

last long. And so what I would say, it's eye-opening, but it's an opportunity right now. I want to make sure I also be hopeful. It's an opportunity to create a community marked by truth and reconciliation, not by deceit and manipulation based off of conceived power. Right. When you have to deal with, you know, your sisters as sisters and equals person, that's challenging. Right. If you don't see women have the same type of equality and voice that you do. And now you're forced to wrestle when you say something out of term or out of pocket. It's it's humanizing. It gives you an opportunity to better love and to be more human in the way you express yourself. Now, again, it's challenging because it's new and certain people, certain groups would call it being politically correct.

I would call it just being polite, just being loving, being sensitive, not being tone deaf to my neighbors, but actually listening to them, not pretending as if they were crazy, and then figuring out how to move forward. So I think it's a great opportunity for us as a society to listen and to learn and to then begin to wrestle to learn how to better love our neighbors. That's good, man. That's good. I mean, I grew up in a divorced home but it but a good home and and my upbringing i thought it was kind of average you know but i don't have other than a divorce when i was 10 you know and just some little things here and there but nothing like the trauma that i'm finding

that a large percentage of people have gone through the percentage of boys and girls that have been sexually or physically abused. I'm reading a book by Bessel van der Kolk. He's a world-renowned expert on trauma and even talks about emotional neglect being just as traumatic as physical or sexual abuse, which I find fascinating. So I look at that and how, just how, if you add it all up and how common this is, that people,

a large majority of people or a good percentage of people have been through some really traumatic relational situations. And so all that to say, I am excited that that's being exposed and the things are coming out these aren't just you know some fringe incidences almost a cumulative weight of seeing the me too thing erupt you know is like yeah you know yeah there's a lot of pigs out there man there's a lot of people doing bad stuff and a lot of victims out there. And I'm glad that people are feeling empowered, as you said, to speak truth so that we can be a society that has divergences and disagreements. But it'd be maybe too idealistic, but it'd be

pretty awesome to see us uniting around the fact that women shouldn't be violated, that people should receive emotional and physical care um especially kids should be cared for and yeah um it is sad but like you said it just it i get excited almost about the unit the sort of unity in a sense that it cultivates but then all of a sudden as you said you see people sticking up for a political candidate yeah who should not just because of his he's he's on the right political side it it's like, oh, come on. You got to be kidding me.

Yeah. No, that's good. Like I said, I think it speaks to the depth of that. And so there's something, another sentiment I've seen growing, therapy. People have been proponents of therapies like they never have in my lifetime. And so I would just encourage you if you have been abused, especially sexually abused, that, you know, it may be time to do that. A lot of people just cope. They cope with silence. And now, you know, speaking out online is therapy.

And I would say, though, I think there is somewhat of a solidarity that can be created from that. You know, you having healing may involve you sitting with a counselor. And so that's something that I think is commendable. And, you know, we need to remove the stigma, the negative stigmas around therapy, and especially people of color going to therapy. You know, the way we have shamed people of color for needing help, as if there's something wrong and people, everybody else is going to therapy. Everybody else is going to therapy. But them going is somehow weird or wrong.

And I would just say, let's remove the stigmas around that and let's encourage people to get the necessary help. We do BBU Build a Better Us coaching. I don't do a lot of therapy, even though I have clients that some of them do have trauma. I would say talk to clinical therapists. Look for one. If you want to connect for some coaching, go to at BJ116 and we'll set up your free consultation.

But the biggest thing for us is we just want you to be a better you so that we can become a better us. That's good. So, yeah, I do feel like we're at a watershed moment, Preston, where the floodgates are. Get ready, Preston Sprinkle. Get your poles out. This is a watershed moment in history. We are living in history as it's being written. How do you process this as someone who does cultural theology and someone who is really trying to speak into the varying narratives as they are emerging along with history? How do you keep your balance, Preston, in the midst of all of the changes?

I don't know if I do. I don't know if I do keep my balance. I mean, you know, definitely the work, the specific work that I think people are becoming less enamored with the superficial. I don't know what it is, but it just feels like after the Cold War ended, 90s and 2000s, the generation we grew up with, things were kind of chill a little

bit you know i mean of course you had 9-11 and a few wars thrown in there but i mean but i think specifically in the church it just see there was this facade that things were going pretty well and i think now we're realizing that the brokenness that's being unraveled in society is being mirrored in the church and the church is taking a look at itself and saying, you know, gosh, discipleship is at an all time low. Yes, it is. Church growth is at all time low. Um, we have more Bibles than we can ever, you know, access to a hundred different translations in our pocket.

And yet biblical illiteracy is at an all time high. So we have, I think people were saying, look, we could put on a good service. We could even attract people. We could probably even grow a church through good sermons and good worship and a good children's program and good lighting. Oh, you know the formula. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anybody with a charismatic personality can probably grow a church. But I think we're realizing there's a hunger for authenticity in society, but also in the church. So to circle back to your question, that really hits home when you deal with anything related to sexuality. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I ask youth pastors, I go, how often do you think youth think about sex? And they'll laugh, you know, every five seconds, 10 seconds. I'll go, how often does society kind of tell them about sex? You know, probably about the same. Okay, now how often does the church provide a more compelling alternative narrative? Ooh! Like, and then it's just kind of overwhelming a little, even if you did a month-long series on sex every year,

which is probably in the upper five percentile of how often people talk about it, it still is not even close to comparing to undoing the cultural narrative that's so embedded in the people. So anyway, that's, yeah, it's, life's pretty intense, man. No, that's a great point. And so if anyone listening, the necessity for you to not act intuitively, I think you're

right. We got to a point where we thought we just had it. We thought we just understood race. We thought we just understood misogyny. We thought we just understood marriage. I thought we believe we just understood those things need no further investigation. And I think what it begs now, the question is being begged, is that we can no longer operate in the intuitiveness of what we

thought we knew. And the painful process of relearning is not just for children or for liberals. It's for all human beings looking to mature, to be more loving of their neighbors in different forms and loving of their spouse. And so again, part of the reason why we started life coaching, Preston, and which has been phenomenal. Thanks for the shout out last time. So many of your listeners have contacted us and started meeting and started talking through race and culture. But part of the reason why we started doing one-to-one life coaching is that I wanted to give people an avenue to talk to someone along their journey and the things that they need specifically to become healthier.

But that's not just true for you as an individual. It's true for the couple and if i could tell you anything relationships need development and they need development while you're married before you're married like that needs to be your thing if you're looking to be in a relationship you need to always be developing again we have a two-day event called person extraordinary i don't know if you've seen it have you checked it out no i've seen it i've seen it. Have you checked it out? No, I've seen it online. Yeah, I've been watching it. Yeah, it's really crazy. It's one of my favorite events to do.

And we've done it all over the nation now. And basically, we try to help people deconstruct in a very fun and loving environment with their spouse or significant other. Or sometimes we have people who cohabitate, which is fun. I love that too i love people who've been together for years at a time and they come in and they want to be engaged in a way that isn't condemning but gets to the root of the issues and you can check that out um at buildabetterus.com and go to book a conference and check out the options for that but i would just say whatever it takes reading books doing counseling um speaking with other couples, and just being intentional about your life. That is the way,

Preston. So as life consistently begins to change and the norms, instead of pretending like it's not and putting out statements to the world about your truths and theology, right? Don't put out a statement unless you confess it. That's the statement you need to put out put out the statement about your confessions i'm falling short that's where people listen to you right right uh i'm not taking a shot at anybody but put those out because as a society because we don't know and you said this so eloquently you said, because we're not sure of any institution anymore, politics, education, policing, anything that we have going on anymore, we are looking for what's real. And I think that may be the watershed moment, is that we're not looking for anything manicured. We want to know that the things we're experiencing are real, and they're going to be very grungy.

That's why people love the podcast. Preston, you say all kinds of wild stuff. I'm like, why do these people keep coming back to this podcast? And I think it's because you're saying things authentically. I think that's what it is. I think it's the authenticity that

you express. It's not that it's polished. You're saying things very authentically, and that's what we're starving for. And so find those voices, find those people, and then equip yourself. Because again, this world is changing at a pace that we are uncomfortable with oftentimes. But it's an opportunity as well for us to become more human and more connected in ways that are meaningful. But it will be work. It will require significant work on our behalf. So, yeah, what you think, Preston?

Gosh, man, what do I think? I think I want to fly down to Houston and hang out for the weekend. You're so crazy. Come on, man. Come on to Houston and hang out with me, man. Oh, man. Unfortunately, dude, we got gotta wrap this up i got okay several other questions we didn't really get to let me let me get to one more here just

because we've kind of you know touched or gone in and out of kind of the marriage marriage questions and what what would you say are the top like for those who are newly married or about to get married or want to get married at some point what What are some key, maybe one or two, what are the key ingredients to a healthy marriage? I mean, yeah. We'd love to hear your thoughts on that. I'm sure you can Google it, but we'd love to hear a real-life person.

Yeah, don't keep records of wrongs. Don't keep records of wrongs. Can you unpack that? Yeah, don't. I mean, it's healthy to talk through conflict and through offense but keeping a record of wrong um is more reflective of vengeance and it will not equate to the longevity that you'll need in a marriage right like keeping a record of the the wrongs that your spouse has done um don't allow you to grow over time in something that's more gracious, more beautiful.

And so you do want to talk through conflict, but keeping a record of wrong will actually sabotage your relationship and will keep you from having and experiencing joy. That's the first thing. Second thing I would say is realize that your spouse, though you may love them, are grossly imperfect and they will need perpetual grace and they are unable to be your hero. Right. I think we say that until until you get into the relationship and then you feel super frustrated when you realize like, wait, though we had a great date we might have had a you know might have finished the moment pretty well that evening there's something still missing and it's because your your your spouse is another human being they're not the person that completes you that's your father your father in heaven is the source of life not your spouse. The last thing is get some older couples. Be around some people that you can relate to. Part of the issue is that we don't have me-tos when it comes to marriage. We think we're just the only ones suffering and going through certain things.

And I wish I could just tell you, man, I talk to people. I mean, literally all over the world. It doesn't matter what race they are, where they live. There's a few variables that are different. Everybody is experiencing the exact same things um and so being able to have the me too's allows you to have much more patience because you stop believing that i'm the anomaly here so those are my quick tips so good man give us one more shout out to where people can find you your your you mentioned several things can they all find it at Build a Better Us?

Or where's the one-stop shop? So yeah, I would love to connect with people. One of the things we've done in 2018 is really having churches, organizations host our one or two-day event. If you go to Build a Better Us, book a conference. It's called Pursuing the Extraordinary.

And this is an experience like none other when it comes to couples, one of my favorite events to do, um, people go crazy over it. I really have a lot of fun doing it. Um, but we've seen people begin to speak and talk and connect in ways that are much more challenging, but, um, invigorating. That's what you said. Invigorate. I don't even know how to spell invigorating. I don't either. I don't either. I'm following your lead on this. But yeah, if you if you go to going to build a better us dot com, going to book a conference, we'd love to connect with you. Our admin team will get back with you and let's try to schedule something for that.

And then also for life coaching, you can reach me at BJ one one six and we do one to one life coaching. The first consultation is free and we'll figure out if it's a good fit for you. But yeah, those are some things that we have accessible. And I'm still working on this book. Yeah. When's that going to be done? Man, I'm working on it. Before Thanksgiving?

Hopefully, yeah. Hopefully by 2018. Okay. Do you have a title already? Or can you give me information? I do. I do. I have to wait to put the title out.

I know. I know. I get it. I have to wait to put the title out, Preston. The publisher's going to be like, bro, you should have never said that online. I'll be like,

Preston pressured me. I won't tell anybody. I won't tell anybody the title. Hey, dude. One of these days we've got to do this face-to-face. We will. Until then,

it's been great having you on. So thanks for your time, bro. I appreciate your ministry. I broke history. Yeah, I just broke history. So I need a plaque now, Preston. then it's been great having you on so thanks for your time bro appreciate your history yeah i just broke history so you can i need a plaque now president i need a plaque okay thanks for having me on president take care bro Ooh, I don't mean to boss now We just hit the wave like it's the coast now When we leave your city, turn your city to a ghost town

Turn the music up, cause it's going down And we ain't slowing down I don't mean to boss now We just hit the wave like it's the coast now When we leave your city, turn your city to a ghost town Turn the music up, they know that it's going down And we ain't slowing down Ooh, we afraid of, afraid of

Ooh, we afraid of, afraid of We gon' take it way up, way up We gon' take it way up, way up We gon' take it way up, way up No, sir, chaplain Ain't some accent Faith that ain't hard to see Won't boast in my works But no hidden figures to rise your feet

Into the eyes, been through it all Played against me, then you might lose it all Giants are tall, but my God is taller Give me the rocks, shoot your shot, watch him fall Going home like way, way, way up I don't roll on my way, way, stay up Outro Music