This Is Important - Ep 211: Billionaires Are People Too
Episode Date: July 30, 2024Today, this is what's important: Diet Mountain Dew, billionaires, Happy Gilmore, legalese, Wendy's, bugs, dick sizes, drunk singing, Australia, awards, & more.See omnystudio.com/listener for priva...cy information.
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Hi, I'm Katie Lowe's.
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Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important.
Today on This Is Important...
I like the smell of a truck stop bathroom, actually.
If I have to break my stride, you're going overboard.
Shlobbin' knobs and gettin' their knobs shlobbed!
board. Shlobbing knobs and getting their knobs slopped.
Let's go.
Yee hee hee hee. Thank you, God.
I love it.
Testing, testing. I love you guys.
Test, test, test.
Do you love it? What's that one? I love you guys. What's I love you guys from?, test, test. Do you love him?
What's that one, I love you guys?
What's I love you guys from?
Oh, that's a hot new one.
Well, at least this week.
Oh, you had some new ones.
I love you guys.
That's our boy JD Vance on the mic after he's gone.
Oh, our boy?
Oh, crap.
Yeah, we're huge Vance guys.
Vance in the pants.
I love you guys.
I forgot, Blake's on that hillbilly elegy train.
What is why? Where is he crying?
This is after he gets the nomination.
He's like, oh, no, no.
You didn't see the whole thing where he's like the left or Democrats
think everything's racist.
I had a dying mountain do today and they're probably going to say that's racist.
And then the joke bombs.
And then he's like
Hey, well he saved it yeah, it's a great delivery. Yeah, well he saved it with the I love you guys so yeah
You know what he said diet Mountain Dew. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's where he lost America. What are you doing? That's a wild swing. That's the Bud Light.
Penny Devine fucks up Diamond dude.
Penny's a legend like that.
And she's a trailblazer.
She's on the Ozarks.
Yeah.
Yeah, but this is JD Vance.
I think it might be a Backwoods like,
like what is the elixir?
Like what is the name of his book and movie?
Hillbilly Elegy.
Hillbilly Elegy.
It's a Hillbilly elegy sort of thing.
I love you guys, dude.
If you're in the backwoods, you drink, you drink a diet.
Mont do you know, right?
A lot of this might have to be a poly charge episode
just because so much shit happened since last time we talked.
But did you also hear that?
And we're so timely.
This is going to air exactly when people need it to.
Oh, my God. We're so there'sconsuming. There's some shit about JD Vance
where in his book or whatever,
he admitted to fucking couches or something.
Oh yeah.
Oh.
Yeah, he put a rubber glove between cushions
and banged his couch.
I'm kinda hyped on it, bro.
We're Vance guys.
Yeah. Relatable.
I know, I like that they trotted that out like,
oh my God, we got him now and there's like memes of him right like where his it's just his eyes
You know his crystal blue eyes
Yeah, just and then it cuts to a couch and it's a slow push in on like at the crease of the couch
And then it's just that over no wait you're making this up or this exists
I've seen I saw today, and and I was like, did he say he
fucked a couch at some point? He did. He did. Which makes me kind of, I know they trotted out like,
oh we're going to get him with these memes. Like America's going to be like, oh this guy fucks
couches. It made him seem relatable. Right. Do you love him? The Democrats are bad at doing the memes.
Don't make them seem cool, man. Wait, wait, cool.
Wait, relatable and cool are two different things.
Well, that's right.
That is correct.
You may relate to it, but that ain't cool.
Well, to me, I have a friend,
I have a friend, and I'm not gonna name,
I'll name his name, Austin Anderson.
You guys know him.
He fucked couches, dude.
He's fucked a couch.
I thought you fucked couches. I've never fucked a couch.. He's fucked a couch. I thought you fucked couches.
I've never fucked a couch.
Austin Anderson has fucked a couch.
OK.
We might need to go back in the books.
I feel like you said you fucked a couch.
Oh, maybe I've hummed pillows.
OK, OK.
I don't think I've ever fucked a couch.
Oh, I'm sorry.
OK.
Austin Anderson fucked a couch.
Now you got Siemens furniture.
All right.
That's crazy.
Just really hit it.
So that's where they went to get a...
To like take them down a peg.
I'm like, that's kinda...
I mean, we all have a friend.
How exhausted are we?
Aren't we exhausted by this?
That's why.
No, dude, I'm invigorated by couch fucking.
That's American politics.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not by that,
but just like, I'm like, who gives no, no, no, no, not by that, but just like
I'm like, who gives a fuck if he fucked a couch like what?
Yeah. But there's see that it's that sort of attitude that is ruining America.
When you when someone admits to fucking couches
and then funny memes come out about them.
Yeah, they should be celebrated.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
They should be celebrated.
Gotcha, bitch.
Also, what is this book he wrote?
I know it was like a movie, but like-
It was Hillbilly Elegy.
He wrote the book and then they turned it into-
What does Elegy mean?
Wow, fuck if I know.
This guy's smart, apparently.
He knows some big words.
Is that why it's a good title?
Cause it's like Hillbilly, but then it's like Elegy.
And everyone's like, okay, Elegy, I gotta Google that one.
Yeah, okay, Elegy.
Oh.
Yeah, he spelled Eulogy wrong?
I guess he went to Yale Law School
and worked for Peter Thiel, which I guess is a name that
Thiel.
Thiel.
Yeah.
People shudder when they hear that name.
Oh, he's a powerful guy.
I have no idea who this guy is.
I think he's a billionaire.
Right.
PayPal guy?
Yeah, I'm sure.
There's so many of these billionaires out there now.
It's kind of, they get lost in the sauce a little bit.
You're like, all right.
They're a dime a dozen.
Who's your favorite billionaire?
Do you guys have a favorite?
Who's your favorite billionaire to go?
Yeah, I mean, I have mine
because he's my local hometown billionaire.
Oh yeah, yeah, you got a good one.
I got my local hometown billionaire, Warren Buffett.
Oh sure, that's a good one, that's great.
You're hyped on him.
Yeah, so he's a classic.
I mean, he invests in
Coca-Cola and Kleenex, you know, and Charmin. Yeah, and Heinz ketchup, I believe. Yeah, all the great stuff, all the great
American products. Yeah, smart, smart. That's freaking cool.
You never had it so good.
And Zeo's, he's definitely, of course. I don't think he's invested in a CEO's pizza. You never had it so good.
Day. We can make the theme song sexier.
I'm invested.
The only way to get the Berkshire Hathaway stocks up is if you make the Zio's
commercial sexier.
You got to really make it sexy.
And then he rolls the window up on his camera and just slowly drives away.
Yeah, that's the thing on him is he bought like a Mercedes Benz in like 1975
and then was like, what am I doing?
I'll just never buy a new car and then always just drive this car
and keep it nice.
That's kind of a thing. I love that.
I love it. It is cool.
But also that motherfucker is being driven.
He hasn't drove himself anywhere.
No, no, he drives himself.
Well, he drives himself to the Dairy Queen
to get his ice cream cone,
and then home. Okay, yeah.
But like when he's traveling,
he's taking car services.
Of course, yeah.
He's not road tripping in his Mercedes.
Yeah.
Look, he has a shitty car,
but I'm sure his plane is out of hand.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, that's the thing.
He upgrades the G6 on the regular.
On the regular.
And there's not even a good plane anymore.
I know that used to be in rap songs, but...
Like a G6.
Like a G6.
Yeah, it's good enough for Kesha, it's good enough for me, brother.
I mean, absolutely, dude.
Yeah, absolutely.
She frickin' rocks. Anything, anything in life, if it's good enough for me, brother. I mean, absolutely, dude. Yeah, absolutely. She frickin' rocks.
Anything, anything in life, if it's good enough for Kesha.
It's good enough for me.
I will say when the TikTok song comes on,
Kesha's TikTok, don't stop, or whatever the fuck it is.
Oh, okay. Goodbye.
That's kinda.
Oh, you hang around.
Yeah, let's just say I start to TikTok myself.
Oh, okay.
Oh, let's just say that.
I'll try to have. Okay, well. Let's just say that.
I'll try to have it queued up.
TikTok, was that before the TikTok craze?
Yeah, oh yeah.
She's literally talking about a clock.
Yeah, oh yeah.
This was before,
because now when you say TikTok,
I know I don't think of clocks.
Yeah, I go straight to like cool dances.
Yeah.
I think that's the whole thing behind TikTok.
They're like, this is your new clock.
You're going to forget time even exists.
Oh, wow.
Actually, who cares?
Polycharged.
This episode is getting polycharged.
Blake is right.
I'm telling you, dude.
It's hard.
It's hard to avoid it.
We had a busy week.
It also means a soul thief in Mandarin.
Oh, hit us with that.
That Vance again. Vance in your pants. You like that?
It's pretty cool. I love you guys
Dude to say that after a bit just falls super flat hit us with it again, dude, it's too good
I love you guys
confidence the lad the little like
insecure laughs like
That one hurt that one hurt.
That one really hurt. I love you guys.
They're probably going to say my diet Mountain Dew was racist.
Wow, dude.
I love you guys.
What flavor are we talking regular?
Yeah, regular is it would be the.
Yeah, I don't think diet comes in.
I don't think they do diet code red, which is a missed opportunity.
Diet, Baja blast would be inflammatory.
I feel like it would actually it would be flammable probably.
Like, what the heck would be in that?
Oh, my goodness.
It blasts coming out. I'll say that.
Yes, points.
OK, that's what Blake's got on his his windshield wiper fluid is just Baja Black.
Diarrhea.
That being said, I don't want to badmouth Mountain Dew
because they've always stood by us.
We've never had it so good.
We're part of the dude crew.
We're the dude crew.
Yeah, they are the dude crew.
Yeah, we're in bed with Mountain Dew, I would say.
Wouldn't you say?
I would love that.
We're not, they haven't paid us anything.
Yeah, you know, there's also another company that I thought we were in bed with. Wouldn't you say? I would love that. We're not, they haven't paid us anything. But, yeah.
You know, there's also another company
that I thought we were in bed with,
a lot of TII is wondering what's going on
with Wendy's a little bit.
They're wondering.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Gotta be fresh.
Now did we talk about this last week?
We haven't touched upon it yet.
I thought we did.
Or this was just in the group chat that we've been tossing this around
Yeah, this is just us being like what the fuck is Wendy's doing fucking?
Isaac Isaac how did this slip through your greasy fat fingers? That was Kyle Kyle knew a check was
I want my money Isaac, where is it? Where is my money Isaac?
You fucking fuck, Isaac!
That was Kyle. Kyle said that stuff.
I'll take your children and I'll hang them up by their ankles and I'll eat them from the waist down.
That was Kyle. That's an exact quote from Kyle.
That's Kyle. Yeah. Dude, He eats them upside down from the legend down
Those are like starting at the waist
He does that brother allegedly Wow
Kyle allegedly saying that stuff is pretty harsh, And I think he meant it, allegedly.
What if we got sued by Kyle for this?
Oh.
I feel like you're damaging my fucking profile out here.
Motherfucker, come and do the podcast
and talk to us about how this hurts you.
So before taking it to lawyers, you know?
No, he's a legal eagle.
That is legalese, legalese.
Allegedly. Are we allowed to break that news too, why Kyle isn't on the pod? I feel like that kind of drop
That's been broke. That's been very broke. Yeah, we broke that
I don't know if we said it on the we didn't say we said it's like for any
Bird TII wondering why Kyle isn't on the pod lately. He just got the gig or says it Derset it Blake doesn't
on the pod lately, he just got the gig. Dyrs says it, Dyrs says it.
Blake doesn't get to say it.
Dyrs?
Oh, sure, yeah.
Blake, shut the fuck up.
Dyrs, he said.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, apparently Kyle's not here
because apparently he can't handle
directing the sequel to Happy Gilmore.
Happy Gilmore.
Playing pickleball. Classic.
Playing pickleball even more
and doing a podcast with his best friend.
Yes, points! Yeah, more pickleball even more and doing a podcast with his best friend. Yes, points.
Yeah, more pickleball than ever.
I know it is.
It is frustrating to see how much pickleball that guy is currently playing,
going to pickleball events.
Yeah, like at events, at pickleball events and can't come back to the pod.
But yeah, he does have a big gig.
And I'm excited to see the movie.
I know I am.
I fuck it, that's a classic of a movie,
and I hope that Kyle does a bang-up job, I'm sure he will.
Very talented friend we have.
I heard it's gonna be funnier.
Yeah, it will be.
Yeah, word on the street is, we do have a very talented,
allegedly eats children, and is really mean
to our manager, allegedly.
Wake up!
Yeah.
But, talented director, I will say that.
Yeah, he can direct the shit out of a movie,
that's for damn sure.
Water trash.
He can direct the shit out of some stuff.
Freaking Sia!
The shit out of a movie for breakfast.
Absolutely, are you kidding me?
It's kind of a reach for me.
Yes, points!
Absolutely.
You're quoting Happy Gilmore.
Kind of a Happy Gilmore reach.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, that's a good reach.
We'll get you points for that.
I do need to revisit the first one.
I can't wait.
Yeah, and that is a film you revisit.
Mm-hmm.
For sure.
Yeah, that's a revisitor.
I would put that on my revisit.
Yeah, Carl Weathers gonna be absent from the sequel.
Dang. RIP.
That sucks.
Should be interesting to see how they fill those shoes.
AI?
It's just AI.
Yes, of course.
Do you think that's gonna be the first fully AI person
in a movie?
Yes, of course.
Yeah, it's gonna be Adam Sandler
acting opposite AI, Carl Weathers.
Wow.
Kyle already told me this is spoilers though.
Whoa, Jesus.
I didn't know.
I already know his plans.
It's crazy, dude.
What's cool about this is you didn't say allegedly so that's set in stone
That's that's
Actual factual that's factual could be legalese involved you heard it here first
Mm-hmm there could be legalese and what is the ease when you say legalese? I've never heard anybody say that yeah
What do you mean? Cuz I don't say legalese and I've never heard it
I think legalese is is uh and I think it's two words
But I kind of just you know when you kind of don't know word fully and you try to throw it away a little bit
Yeah, hopefully no one like sniffs it out. Sure legalese
Like allergy. I think that's what just lawyer talk legalese. How about legalese?
Anyone any of our producers want to chime in and let me know
So legalese is like saying like Chinese
What?
Well, Todd just said legal eagle Todd stop it. You're not helping. Yeah, that's not helpful Todd
That's pizza pizza. Wait, so like when people say legalese it's like saying Taiwanese. It's like just like legal jargon
I think it means like jibba-jabba. Oh
Okay. Okay. Here's okay Becca says the trans transitive shit. Yep
To make legal the transitive verb to make legal, especially to give legal validity or sanction to legalization.
Whoa.
Legalese is a style of writing and vocabulary that lawyers and members of the legal community
use.
Yeah, so that's what I mean.
Lawyer, lawyer, Tom.
Yeah.
Legalese.
I nailed it.
That's hilarious, by the way.
That's interesting. That's very interesting by the way. Yeah. That's interesting.
Yeah. That's very interesting.
So you have never heard that word.
So that could have been the word of the day.
And I just...
It really could have.
And you just tossed it into the wind.
Tossing it out. See, this is what I'm saying.
I know big words.
I don't know how to say them or exactly what they mean.
But I know them.
In sentences properly. But I know that. In sentences properly.
But I did, I did use it.
By the way, watch out for people who are not lawyers
who do know how to speak that way.
Yeah, that's a little bit of a-
I love you guys.
That just tells you they've been to court way too much.
Yeah.
But they're not lawyers.
Yeah.
And that's what's nice about having Isaac as a manager
is there's no legalese coming from that guy's mouth.
No, no, not at all.
And we're lucky to have him alive for much longer.
Yeah, because Kyle's got him in his sights.
Yeah, thank God Kyle's not here to fucking take him to task.
Fucking licking his chumps, is that what he said?
I'm finishing.
Kyle be licking his chumps.
You're fucking manager.
Why is the Wendy's commercial using our song?
Haven't seen it.
I know they're not, but I really hope Skinny Boys
are cashing out off of that.
They're not, believe it or not.
God damn it.
So for people that don't know,
Wendy's has a commercial out right now.
Wendy's of Baconator fame.
That's mostly how I know them.
Square patties, square patties, right?
Dave Thomas.
Dave Thomas. Classic RIP, RIP.
And we can say Wendy's is top tier
as far as fast food goes.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Great burger.
Love Wendy's too.
Love a Frosty.
Love Wendy's.
Oh my God, Frosty's.
Oh, that was the stunner.
I don't know if they still have the dollar menu,
but you go, you get the little nuggies.
The cause of diarrhea.
You get a junior bacon cheese,
and then you get a Frosty.
Do you want us to go off for a little bit?
You could talk to Wendy's.
You get diarrhea too.
You guys could go.
If you guys could jump off real quick, I'd like to talk to Wendy's CEO.
OK, I'm turning it off right now.
OK, don't look at me.
I'm taking my headphones off.
Please. OK, turn the microphones off or the headphones.
And headphones. Yeah, everything.
Yeah. And headphones.
Miss Wendy, thank you for your service.
You've provided such great nutrition for me and my family for years and years now.
You've gotten me through some long nights and some early mornings.
Thank you, Wendy's, for all that you've done for me and mine, to you and yours. I will keep giving you my money.
Even though, even though you are using the Workaholics theme song in your commercial,
and it's set, I understand that it says gotta be fresh, and that's great,
and someone should have stolen it a long time ago,
it almost feels like a smack in our face that we're not in any of those commercials.
That being said, I love the frostyy you guys can turn your headphones back on
Thank you
I'm so fucking hungry
That was well
I can't wait to listen back and I hope Todd puts some really emotional music behind that because I could tell
Just from watching you that you got a little emotional there
Yeah, and that was really nice dude if it was another and I'm not gonna shit on another fast food joint, but there's lesser
There's lesser names, you know, sure sure sure Burger King rocks. There's lesser than wait. I'm sorry. Wait, what did you say?
I like Burger King your boobs are huge Burger King rocks. I like Burger King
Also, I'm gonna need I taught him a neat a clip of Adam saying I like Burger King
There's a reason you haven't been to Burger King, what do you mean? It's just not great No, well, I don't really eat that much fast food or at all anymore
But but when you do you don't go there
Like if you're on a road trip or you're like when we were on tour We had to stop somewhere Kane. I'm telling you the truth when I say this I go to subway
Probably 95% of the time fucking disaster my guy. Sorry guys Subway is also
Gnarly, I know but I eat fresh when I'm on a road you gotta be fresh. I eat fresh
Yeah, but dude. You gotta be fresh. I eat fresh. Yeah, but dude, Wendy's gotta be fresh.
Well, maybe we gotta eat fresh.
And now that they have a new slogan,
it might turn me around.
I'm still a little salty that we're not in the commercial.
And I understand Kyle's frustration.
By the way, you're just putting money in the pocket
of the original Kyle, who is the subway guy.
I understand Kyle's frustration.
You know?
Yes, I get why he fucking bit Isaac's head off
the other day and really just jumped down his throat.
But maybe we make a plea to subway,
we could say, gotta eat fresh and it's us.
Have you ever had a bad experience at a Wendy's?
I'm just throwing this out there.
I never have, other than.
No, I have not.
No, I don't wanna talk about it.
And have you ever had a bad
experience out of Subway? It's always fucking banger. Yeah,
I've had scary experience. No, I've had sandwiches where I'm
just like, what is the smells coming out of here, man? Oh,
the great smells. The subways that are connected to like the
huge truck stops. Oh, yeah. When you're in the middle of
nowhere and you stop at this kind of scary truck stop. Sure. And there's like, you know, you know that we've talked
about truck stops. You know that there's glory holes in the bathroom. You just know it. Absolutely.
I would hope so. You know that they're doing meth in the parking lot and they're coming
in here and schlobbing knobs and getting their knobs schlobbed. No, you know it. You know
it. Somebody help me. That's maybe why Dyrs is tripping up
and thinking the smells of the subway
are actually the smells coming from these bathroom stalls.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're confusing subway with truck stop bathroom.
No, sir, I don't like it.
You might be confusing that.
No, sir, I don't like it.
You might be confusing that.
Ups, winning.
But yeah, how does that make you feel?
What's weird is that you're saying I don't like it.
I like the smell of a truck stop bathroom, actually.
Oh, oh.
What the hell?
The mixture of gasoline, semen, and lollipops?
Oh my God.
Or urinal cakes?
Mm.
Well, Bowen, the Olympics are underway.
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It's happening now.
And what's happening now is our podcast, Two Guys, Five Rings, is a phenomenon.
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Two Guys, Five Rings, Matt Bowen, and the Olympics.
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I mean, I'm watching Simone Biles. I'm watching her go higher and higher and higher with every bounce.
Sha'Carri's about to run faster than you or I or anyone has ever seen.
I'm ready for the girls and the boys and everybody under the Seine River.
Under the Seine, over the Seine, within the waters of the San, all of them.
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In this series, we follow the case of Richard Patrone and Daniel Imbo,
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You know what I noticed? Because I just did a little road trip to the Bay Area.
Just now? Oh wow.
Yeah, very, very... I just got back.
You know the window cleaning shit that's at every gas station?
Yeah, I do. It's starting to be really stinky. stinky like I don't think they change that shit ever ever anymore
Yeah, I don't think that's news. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know
In me there's no more bugs right? Yeah, you what do you think they change it every hour? What are you thinking?
There's no more bugs like I guess I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I feel like the bug game
is at an old.
Bugs are fake.
Volkswagen bugs.
We're at an all time low because I
drive a lot for work.
A lot of times I like work for my
house is like 45 minutes to an hour
away. We're talking Volkswagen bugs
now. No, no, no, no.
Those are few and far between, though.
Insects. Yeah, a few and far.
Bugs hitting windshields.
There's no longer bugs. So I feel like I used to do that a lot
Yeah living in the Midwest, but now I'm here in the south. I'm driving every day for work. I'm not hitting any bugs
What the hell can I tell you something get a get a Rivian?
You you catch all the fucking bugs on a road trip on that thing because the front is flat. Oh the flat shield
So there's still bugs out there for you guys.
You get hella bugs. Dragonflies.
You're like, oh, it's just not it's a graveyard.
That's crazy.
Yeah. You know, I just want to share that real quick.
So there are bugs.
So you got a Rivian.
I didn't know if you had a I didn't know you had a Rivian. OK.
Oh, yeah. We've had this fucker. Perfect.
Oh, dang. Why didn't I?
I must have known that.
We got the SUV and it's fucking sick.
Okay, I like that.
We got a sign-off.
That's awesome.
Great road tripper.
Really?
And now you can use Tesla chargers, guys.
The infrastructure's real.
Thank you, Elon.
Texas for life.
Oh God.
Well, Dersie, this is a nice...
Is he your favorite? we covered my favorite billionaire,
but we didn't get to your guys's.
That's true.
Is Elon your number one, Dursey?
Yeah!
He's kinda getting some bad press, but.
Yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
Okay, well, that doesn't help the podcast.
It was your question earlier.
No, no, no, I'm not saying I don't give a fuck
about the question, I'm saying I don't give a fuck
that Elon has bad press. Yes, okay. no, no. I'm not saying I don't give a fuck about the question. I'm saying I don't give a fuck that Elon has bad press.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
I love you guys.
Like, I don't know.
Like, I guess X is a dumpster fire.
But I don't know.
Like, why don't you cry about it?
It's my favorite and least favorite algorithm because as we covered,
you're going to see someone just get murdered upon waking up.
Right.
Yeah. And you're on the someone just get murdered upon waking up. Right. Yeah.
And you're on the toilet and you immediately see a murderer,
you see someone get stabbed with a pair of.
Which really lights a fire under your ass.
Yeah.
Gets your day going.
Yeah, you gotta start, you gotta go out
and get it for sure.
So who is your number one then?
I don't know, the drink your milkshake guy?
You knew that Peter Thiel guy's name,
that kinda rolled off the tongue for you.
Yeah, I feel like Ders has a good rolodex of billionaires.
A lot of things roll off my tongue,
if you know what I mean.
Okay.
It's a bagel.
Hold up.
Who is my favorite billionaire?
I don't know, I guess I don't.
Is Oprah?
Oprah!
Is she a billionaire?
Yeah, Oprah's a billionaire.
Yeah.
That's kind of a good one.
I don't know, I find her kind of boring.
Yeah.
What about LeBron James?
I mean, I'm sure she's really,
I hear everything that she's great
and she's awesome and has wisdom.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Huh.
Yeah.
Okay.
This makes for great radio.
Goodbye.
Blake, do you got one?
Who else is a billionaire? I mean, I'm kind of
rattling off my All-Star team, but I really think there's something. But these are just
like entertainers and shit who happen to be billionaires. They're not like billionaires
by trade, where they're like, I create hotels or whatever. Oh, I don't know. Whatever. I don't know. I didn't know we put a lot of
parameters on it. The question was, who's your favorite billionaire? I understand. I get it though.
So mine, mine was kind of a home run. Yeah, yours was badass. Hometown. Yeah, it was. Yeah, you've
got a hometown. That's a great billionaire. We all don't grow up with billionaires, dude. That's true.
I mean, you are from Chicago, You literally grew up where Oprah is from.
And Michael Jordan.
And Michael Jordan.
From Evanston, Illinois.
60201 baby.
It's science.
No billionaires to my knowledge.
Okay, there's gotta be.
You know there is.
Is Kanye West a billionaire?
No.
No, no.
Yeah, Kanye.
So Kanye is your favorite.
No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, did he reach billionaire status?
He did. Why did you laugh, Blake?
Kanye is your favorite. You just you kind of know.
I didn't say that. I just facts we can fact check.
Look, I'm not guys like him.
Just don't fall out of fucking sky.
You know, come on, come on, man.
Come on, man.
Yeah. So that's your favorite.
No, that's not my favorite I
think um I I'm looking up billionaires at this point okay good I'm just the I
guess I like some crazy Sultan dude okay just like walks around and like you know
is one of my just isn't my favorite this is one of my favorite stories when we
were on shark week and the dudes who like manned the yacht we were on, they've worked on many yachts. And one of them told the story about they were on a boat, following a huge yacht, following an even bigger yacht. And their yacht was just in case the dude wanted to go scuba diving. That was it. And so they had to be ready. And like a week after they've been out to sea, they go, Hey, he wants to go scuba diving. That was it. And so they had to be ready. And like a week after they'd
been out to sea, they go, Hey, he wants to go scuba diving. You've got to be ready in
like 20 minutes. So they're like, Holy shit, let's get all this shit going. The dude comes
onto the boat in a wetsuit and they were like, you have to get all this. He wants to not
stop walking. You have to get all the stuff on him as he walks to the water.
And they were like, that doesn't work. And they're like, it has to be this. So as the dude is walking
towards the water, they put the thing on, he steps into one flipper steps into the other,
put the apparatus on his face. And then he like went right into the water. I love you guys.
And the guy was like, we were so stressed out because we were like,
are we going to get murdered if we don't do this right?
Because it's just some.
Yeah, I mean, they have to like put a weight belt on you, weight you down.
Like, there's a whole thing.
He just like if I have to break my stride.
Yes. You're going overboard.
And he went and he scubaed.
I think they said he went scubaing for like 20 minutes.
Max got out was like, not my thing.
And then went to the giant mothership.
Yessir.
Just to say he fucking did it.
And they were like, this one we're on cost you, you know, $200,000
a week to not be on.
Yeah.
Billionaires rock, dude.
Dumb cake.
God dang.
That's so cool, man
I mean, I know they get a bad rap, but they seem pretty unreal. It'd be fun to do
You know didn't break stride. That's pretty cool. That'd be fun to do
So Todd hit us with some knowledge. He had an estimated con Kanye West. He goes by ye now
Yeah, is it?
Yeah, oh cuz it's not Kanye. He goes by ye.. Uh. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Oh, cause it's not Kanyi.
He goes by Yi.
You're a stupid dumbass.
Where are you even coming up with Yi out of Kanyi?
Well, I mean, I, yeah.
Kanyi, you are so dumb.
That was boneheaded.
That was boneheaded.
Egg on my face.
That's okay.
Did he add another, did he, is it Y-E-E?
Did he add an E?
There was no, no, no, Todd wrote yay and I read ye,
but you know, I am so dumb.
He had an estimated net worth of two billion in 2022,
but he lost 1.5 billion when Adidas terminated
their partnership, so he lost money.
Whoa, why don't you cry about it?
And then he didn't even make the billionaires list.
Oh my god.
That's a bummer.
But he still has $400 million,
which I feel you can do a lot of really stupid dumb stuff,
like have a chair guy.
That's pretty good walk around money.
Like have a chair guy.
Remember how I saw him at the chateau
and he has a chair guy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
400 million will give you a chair guy.
You don't even need to be a billionaire
to have luxury such luxuries as that yeah dude i think i know my billionaire he's a big name too
is it balmer no he is pretty cool though adam is that your number two guy balmer that for sure
would be my number two yeah you're in the billionaire boys club over there you got some
hoes yeah i guess i kind of am of people i don't know and have never met. He's in those circles.
I think I'm kind of a Mark Zucker sucker, dude.
I love the Zuckerberg.
That guy is freaking cool as hell, dude.
Tell you what, my sister works for Facebook and she fucking loves the guy.
She's like, he's the best.
There we go. See? He rocks.
Do you love him?
What does she like about him? I'm just curious.
Just great to his employees.
Like the employees there like treating like kings and queens.
Right. But like society he doesn't care about.
No. Screw that.
Yeah. I don't know anything about society, dude.
I don't either, man. It's so crazy.
I'm like everyone's everyone says there's a fire and I'm like,
I don't know.
Is there a fire?
He's kind of sick though.
He does like MMA now. I'm kind, I don't know. Is there a fire? He's kind of sick though, he does like MMA now.
I'm kind of into that.
To be a billionaire and then now you're going into UFC,
that's pretty cool.
Well he's not.
What?
He's not going into the UFC.
He said he was gonna fight Ders' favorite billionaire,
Elon.
Elon, yes.
Yeah, which would be pretty cool to watch.
But he's not, but they're not.
They're not gonna, gonna know he hurt himself
He hurt himself. Oh, yeah, that's why that's why yeah, he hurt his foot. We
Did we get a list of billionaires did we not get a list of billionaires to look at no
I mean, you you know the names which is crazy
I feel I don't is what I'm saying
Like I'm drawing a blank although I can't wait to get one of these robots that they're all making.
They're all making like robot people.
What about Robert Kraft?
Robert Kraft, the owner of the H.J. King.
Yeah, he gets jerked off in little, you know, strip mall,
rub and tug centers. That's kind of cool.
You know, yeah, that's really that's relatable.
Yeah, that's a relatable thing.
If we're just looking at relatability.
Yeah, the relatability factor goes way up.
You relate to that, Blake?
Yeah, Blake.
Yeah, it's like I fuck couches, I go to malls.
It's just like anywhere I can get some kind of affection
from things that don't truly love me.
I kinda like, see this is what I'm saying.
I wanna like, who's a dude you just don't know?
Like, well, here's the top 10.
You know, number one, who's Amancio Ortega who, oh, he created Zara.
Hilarious.
Yeah.
Well, they're billionaires, so they all have something, you know, you know, you
know them from, from something.
No, but if I said Amancio Ortega, you would not know who that was.
Yeah.
Amancio Ortega.
He started Zara.
Wait, Zara the mall store?
Yeah, the mall store.
Wait, why is Zara that big?
And what do you think Michael Dell created?
Um, Taco Dell?
I don't know.
Dell Computer.
Shut up, bitch!
Yeah, Taco Dell.
Like that rolled off the tongue.
Yeah, no, I got that.
That's OK.
So, you know, we shoot, we score we yay. I said yay earlier. You said ye
I have to quit smoking weed
No, never do it dude. Never do it ever. Oh
Jeff Bezos nobody's saying but he kind of he's gonna I don't know
It's a bummer, right? I don't know
When he got so jacked it was a little off-putting, right?
Did he get really ripped?
Yeah, when he got on the TRT and just shaved his head
and was like...
Zuckerberg got in shape.
Yeah, because he's fighting.
But then our boy, Amazon Bezos, he got straight yoked.
Mm-hmm.
Ups.
Winning.
And that was too much for you?
It was too much.
Yeah, you didn't like that?
You thought he was kinda stepping into your?
Not in my billionaire, not in my billionaire.
In my boys?
Yeah.
In my guys, in my dude crew right here?
I wanna see you all jacked and juicy,
but in my billionaire?
Right.
I want you to be a little nerdy.
Great ass!
You're like, oh, I can easily do that.
That's easy.
Right. Yeah. I like that too, because like, yeah, if you do, I can easily do that. That's easy. Right. Yeah.
I like that too, because like, yeah, if you're a billionaire,
you could like buy a robot body like,
crang and just like sit in its stomach and you're jacked.
You're more jacked than anybody.
Yeah, so Dyrus, sorry I interrupted earlier.
What are these robot people you were trying to?
I don't know, they're just inviting, inventing robots.
But this guy, number 52 on the billionaire list,
Len Blavnotvich.
Okay. He does, he made his money in music and chemicals. I'm a dude. robots but this guy number 52 on the billionaire list Len Blavnotvich he
does he made his money in music and chemicals I'm a dude this is my guy so
he just he just created the Great Bull Dead he just did acid and he's got 32
billion dollars that's a lot of money and what is number 32 number 52 music
and chemicals 52 how many are there?
How many billionaires are in the world?
I mean enough.
Way more than needed.
I know.
Don't worry.
There's room for you.
I love all the Waltons.
That's kind of my favorite where they're just like dudes who just are part of the family
who are like, yeah, I've got 25 billion because my dad's dad had a grocery store a hundred years ago
Yeah, which grocery stores that Waltons?
Walmart oh
They're the Walton family play hey Blake can you just hit my guys saying what I need to tell you fucking Walmart
I told you dude
Jesus sorry there are need to tell you fucking Walmart. I told you, dude. Jesus. Sorry.
There are two thousand seven hundred and eighty one
billionaires in the world is what they're saying.
One hundred and forty one more than in twenty twenty three.
Yeah, that's kind of wild, dude.
That's a lot. That's a lot of billionaires.
That's why it's not special.
It used to be kind of special.
Like he has a billion dollars.
That's a lot of money.
Now you run into these guys just out of fucking hotel lobby. Just kick it in you're like a fucking subway
Yeah, you'll just be at a truck stop subway
Running into these guys. Wait a minute
You'll just be you'll just be at the glory hole of a truck stop subway
Yeah, I can smell it now and Bezos is shriveled cock will
Poke on through I just want to party.
I take that back.
You know it's not shriveled.
You know it's not shriveled.
No, there's no way.
That's a good question.
What billionaires got the biggest dick?
OK, now this is important.
That shit's important.
Yeah, it is.
Right off the bat, you're going to say, like, oh, these guys have micro penises.
That's why they're fucking overcompensating. I don't know. Yeah, it is. Right off the bat, you're gonna say like, oh, these guys have micro penises, that's why they're fucking overcompensating.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I need to see my dick.
Yeah, well no, that's why I immediately took it back
with Bezos, cause I bet.
He's hogging?
I bet he's kind of hogging,
or at least has injected his dick with cool chemicals
from the future that will make him hog.
That's why I had, I pitched this to you guys,
but I think history would be different.
If history would be different. If everybody if we revealed people's dick size, it could
be upon their death. But we need to know like if there's some correlation with small dick
size and large dick size and like tyrants of the world billionaires of the world. Can
we not do that, please?
I just think it's, I think it's valuable data.
What if we didn't do it though?
Cause what if there's a common thread with billionaires?
What if they all have,
Hey you.
That is so important Blake.
I'm glad you're bringing that up.
That's actually how I would describe my dick
cause it's a common thread.
It's just kind of normal every day.
Yes points.
Oh.
It's science. Blake, sure! Oh! It's science.
Yeah, and Blake, sure, we should reveal
everyone's dick size, but who's got the biggest hog
out of our well-known?
Billionaire?
It's LeBron.
Yeah, it's LeBron.
It's LeBron, a six foot nine.
Or Magic Johnson.
Adonis, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Magic's for sure.
Yeah, you know Magic's hogging.
There's no way that man has a small cock.
Oh yeah, he is kind of billionaire.
Low key off of like the Dodgers, that's kind of high. Yeah, I guess what do you mean low-key?
Yeah, not low-key. I forgot low-key. It's very high-key. He's not he's not in the top
He doesn't have like 30 billion, but he's got a handful of bills. Yeah. Yeah, that's why it's not even you're like
Yeah, just guys. You'll see tootin around LA. Maybe magic's my my guys you like Jerry Jones is Blake's guy Jerry Jones
The Cowboys dude. Yeah Cowboys rather. I'm more magic guy. Remember when they discovered that there was like a
picture with him from like the I don't know 40s or 50s where he's like at a place where everyone's screaming at like black
Kids trying to go to school or something like that. He tried to Photoshop that what happened? He's racist
Is that the...
He was just, I'm not going to say anything,
he was there when people were like shouting
at some sort of desegregation situation.
I don't even fucking know.
But then the comments were like, he was there scouting.
What the hell?
He was already there like looking for talent
for the future.
This is the way.
Oh boy. Which is a great cover, yeah. It future. This is the way. Oh boy.
That's cool.
Which is a great cover.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah.
Good for him, man.
He's got good lawyers.
Yeah.
What else we got here?
Apple, Disney, sure.
Yeah.
A lot of just classic.
I like when it just says oil.
And you're like, yeah, all right.
Toasty!
Right.
Yeah.
You just were, you were there.
You had a grandfather, agrandfather who dug a hole
Yeah, it makes it makes me like a little bond at my
grandparents and great-grandparents
Mostly my great-grandparents about like they were just like farming and like trying to get enough food on the table for their families
Bullshit weak and weak weak weak dude be cutthroat and dig holes in the ground and find oil.
Yeah, just be digging always. Drill, baby, drill. Like, get out there. What are you doing?
Brian Armstrong, cryptocurrency. Eleven billion dollars.
Is it real? He did it. He fucking did it.
Oh, the Chick-fil-A family. Somebody help me!
That's pretty good.
Is that Will Ferrell in Austin Powers?
No, it's from, um, Virtual Cop, the video game.
That was my second guess.
It's a bagel.
We might have lost old Diesel.
I was chunking too.
Something's going on in the algo rhythms.
Oh, dang.
I haven't checked the news in a while.
We could have like a major hack or something.
That's right, we didn't bring up that.
Thank God, oh my God.
So much happened in the last week and a half.
It was kind of crazy.
A lot happened.
It was kind of crazy.
Adam's gone.
I guess we just keep talking billionaires.
Oh God, it's just me and Ders?
What do you wanna talk about?
Don't kiss me, what do you want to talk about? Uh, don't kiss me.
What? Oh my God.
I told you, dude.
Well, though, in the Olympics are underway.
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I'm watching her go higher and higher and higher
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I'm ready for the girls and the boys and everybody under the San River.
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Wait, did you see the baseball all-star game when the girls sang the national anthem? Did you see that?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was pretty fire.
And then she said she was drunk and then she's just like, she goes, I'm going into rehab.
I heard it's fun.
Yeah, dude.
Like, what is she doing?
All she had to do, who read her like apology?
It was like, yeah, that sounds good, post that.
Like just don't do the I heard it's fun.
You had to go to rehab to like, be like,
see, I was drunk, I'm actually in rehab.
Yeah, here's what I'm saying.
When she gets out of rehab,
she better go straight to a sports sporting event
and belt one out so we can go, okay.
And we're like, there you go.
It was, it was the booze singing and talking
at the same time.
I feel like you would sing better drunk.
That's why I just don't buy the whole fucking thing.
Yeah, right?
Isn't that when like people give their karaoke performances
of a lifetime when they're just like completely sloshed
and just giving it their all.
She was just kind of holding notes a little too long.
The range was a little off, but also like whack this.
Yeah, a lot of whackness, a lot of like really a lot of tryhardness. Yeah.
Oh, our boys back, our boys back.
He's back.
That was that was wild.
That was a wild riot. I just went on.
Wikia. Internet just went on wiki. Wawa internet just went out then came back
Yeah, what was that company that got hacked in all the airports streamcast?
Yeah, whatever the hell dream cast Sega Dreamcast. Yeah
Everybody's dreamcast just kind of fucking started to
Crazy dude, yeah, you guys didn't get caught up in that, did you?
No, no, no.
I was traveling that day. I was flying that day.
Dersie, did we even bring up the fact that you no longer...
It was CrowdStrike.
CrowdStrike, which is a sick name.
It sounds like a computer game, but...
It sounds like a missile.
Yeah.
Which someone on set told me that the CIA owns that,
or the government owns CrowdStrike. Yeah. Would someone on set told me that the CIA like owns that or like the
government owns CrowdStrike?
I got a feeling that you're set there in Charleston has a lot of speculation about
the government.
It does. It is.
And they should.
And they should. It's healthy.
I love it.
It's so healthy.
Yeah. You've got to question everything.
CrowdStrike. Yeah, it seems pretty generic.
Seems kind of wack. Yeah. Yeah. It seems so healthy. Yeah, you've got to question everything. Cloud strike. Yeah, it seems pretty generic.
Seems kind of wack.
Yeah, yeah.
It seems old school.
But Dersi is in a whole other different country
and some might even call it Down Under.
Okay.
That's right, baby.
We're in Australia.
We're doing season two of Monarch.
Ooh.
Heard of it, bitch.
Hell yeah.
We're filming in Australia.
That's sick.
Hell yeah. And you are in Sydney. That's sick, hell yeah.
And you are in Sydney, is that correct?
No, I'm north, I'm outside Brisbane, mate.
Oh, Brisbane, I've been in Brisbane.
I've never been that far north.
How is it?
It's perfect right now.
It's like LA winter kind of vibes.
So it's like sunny, I mean, sunny by,
it's sunny, but it's warm by like 11. You're like
perfect at 70 all day. Yeah, so we're sitting pretty at like a 70 degrees. It's not too warm,
but it's not it's not you wouldn't call it chilly. Winning. You get to throw on a sweater in the
evening if you'd like. Perfect. That's nice. Yeah, that's that's my favorite tip. You know,
you get to go for a brisk walk in the morning. Yeah. Oh, that's my favorite tip. You know you get to go for a brisk walk in the morning. Yeah, that's my favorite tap
I love it right on the beach, which is nice. Oh my god live in the dream. I miss being in Charleston
I do miss that like Southern California
Time of day when the Sun has set and now like you could wear a t-shirt and you'll be fine
Maybe you want to grab a little something
and you'll be fine. But maybe you want to grab a little something. Maybe you want a jacket, maybe you want a little sweater to wear. Mix it up. The uniform of like a dad in Southern California
is like the hoodie, shorts, and like thong, flip-flops, whatever you want to call them.
It's just what Isaac wears all the time. It's the best. It is hilarious how it's just what is worn and that's it
Yeah, there's I feel like there is wherever you're at. There is a
Uniform, you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Yeah, the golf outfits where you are
Don't want to make it where I'm at. Everybody looks like they're about to go golfing or fishing
Right. Oh, you're either about to do one or the other. Right. And what do you attribute?
Are these the same people who go, I think it's a fishing day today and tomorrow
I'm going to go golf or is it golf people and fish people?
And what's the I think there?
There is some overlap, but there is a classic warfare.
Yeah, a little bit.
If it feels like fishing people are the they're a little lower on the socio
socio economic ladder, salt of the earth. Well, salt of the earth.
Yeah. Sure. And those are my people because I like fishing.
Yeah, we love that. That shit's important. Did I even talk to
you guys since the my fishing trip my epic fishing trip? I
think you did. Yeah. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay. So they either dress like that or they dress
like they are fully going golfing or just came back from golfing.
And then you asked, you're like, how was your golf session today? And you call them sessions, I think.
And for sure, they don't know what you're talking about because they didn't go golfing.
They did. This is just how they this is just how they dress.
And what are these brands that they're wearing?
Are they wearing golf brands or is it like Nike golf shirt or is it like a foot joy shirt?
Is this a Greg Norman fucking sombrero? I don't
know enough about golf to really really sort of break down the fashion choices.
I know it looks like a breathable polo fabric stretchy fabric where you could
like kind of pull on it. You don't go up and kind of feel their shirt. Yes. Yeah I
don't figure their shirts that often. Maybe it wicks sweat a little bit.
Maybe it's...
Yeah, it seems athletic.
It seems athletic.
Can we talk about Trump doesn't wear those types of...
I was just thinking about that today
because I saw some video of him on the golf course
like he is every day.
He wears like heavy cotton.
Heavy, heavy cotton.
He's old school.
He's an old school guy. Yeah. That's old school. He's an old school. Yeah. Yeah
That's classic for a man of his his age. Yes, but with those titties, I don't know
Oh, yeah something a little more supportive as a man with big titties. There's maybe you could tell us
Do you actually can I love you guys? I can I I can weigh in here
Yeah, okay the fabric it lays just a little bit too close
You know I mean and you can see the titties and the chest hair looks weird well on the more athletic
The newer shirt. Oh, yeah, your boobs are huge. Yeah the newer shirts
I think I would rather wear a thicker knit so you can just not see a little less
Emphasis yeah, I get that I do get that I think you have to be hairless like Blake in
order to pull off the little dolphin. You got a tuft. That's not enough. You got a
little tuft. Okay, well that's hurtful. Do you have hair on your nipples? Do I?
You just... No, he's got a perfect round little areola with just a rim. Like it's
like a tahin rim around a beverage.
Very shaggy-dilly.
That's like Snipples.
I describe it more like a snow crab roll
at a sushi spot.
Like it's pretty long.
Pretty long.
Are we seeing it?
Are we showing it?
I'm trying to, but my microphone.
Well, get close to the camera.
And you guys are gonna wanna,
and TIA Nation, you're gonna wanna go to YouTube
and you're gonna wanna subscribe.
We're gonna have to smash.
We are. Smush the like button.
Well, I've been told multiple times, multiple times.
Yes.
The reason we don't have more subscribers.
Sure.
Because there's other podcasts that,
yeah, maybe they put a little more effort in their podcast.
Maybe they are on a set
and are always with each other. Do those people have successful acting careers and they're all
over the country? I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes I don't think so, but they have more
subscribers because they drop the video on the same day that the podcast comes out. They drop
the video on the YouTube and we don't do
that and why we don't do that I don't know and that's a question for our
producers and for Isaac and I know dude I I was actually with Isaac when I got
the call when he got the call from Kyle and Kyle was like you fucking son of a bitch! Halle-de-lee! How dare you! Why don't we post on the same day?
We'll make more money!
Can't wait to make more money!
I can hear it now.
We want more money!
We need more money!
Where is it?
I have to buy my cars!
I need another car that doesn't have...
I need more pickle balls!
Eh, fuck you, Isaac!
And it was kinda...
But cool that he's turning into
leprechaun in the
Understood work where Kyle allegedly was coming from allegedly, you know, yeah, that's really that's really crazy
Yeah, so I don't know why we don't do that. Yeah nation. I wish we did
Cuz you know, yeah, maybe we will. Who knows?
Maybe we will this week.
We want those YouTube subscriptions.
We want the plaque guys.
We want the plaque.
As the funniest podcast officially.
Yes, we want the plaque.
Blake, do you have hardware over there, Blake?
Are you guys ready for a little reveal?
Is this good for sound?
I got a-
Oh yes, please.
Can't hear it.
Got a little box delivered. Okay.
Why is it so small, dude?
That's kind of whack.
I kind of thought it'd be bigger.
By the way, we won these awards months ago.
That was so many months ago.
I got a couple of these cards of authenticity right here.
Where custom design creations so that you know, it's real.
Wow.
And then got a, got a, got a beef rag.
And then check this out.
They actually give you, they give you gloves, gloves, black gloves to handle them.
Wow.
They give you gloves to handle your.
Wow.
I don't think I got black gloves.
Oh. Wow.
Check this, check a load at this.
Well they knew that your fingers aren't as sticky as Blake's.
They looked at all of us and go,
I bet Blake has the stickiest fingers.
Yeah baby.
Okay. Check it out.
There's, this is like a little wipe to wipe the trophy.
Oh wow.
In order to know what Blake just did, you're gonna have to come to the YouTube and smash and smush the subscribe button
Mm-hmm ladies and gentlemen here is the reveal and you can see it on our patreon. No wait. Sorry smush now smush now
Have you got I stopped watching like I don't know 20 seconds ago. I was fucking with this light
Yeah, have you shown the thing yet wait no he has it
How heavy is that dude cuz it looks mad light it looks very light it's pretty heavy is it okay good
I'm kind of getting there's some weight to it. Yeah
That's nice, and what does it say exactly on good. I'm kind of getting a lot of it. There's some weight to it. Yeah. That's nice.
And what does it say exactly on there?
I can't read it.
It says, best comedy.
The 2024 I Heart Podcast Awards best comedy.
This is important.
There it is, baby.
And I just want to say thank you to TII Nation for voting us
best comedy out of every podcast in existence yes they said
that we are the funniest we are the best comedy podcast and we want to say thank
you guys any take backs any apologies any epic slams for today this is gonna
look real nice next to the plaque once you go smush that subscribe button on
YouTube with a hundred thousand because that's not that many.
It's a little, probably a little bit of an,
like if you talk to real YouTube people, that sucks.
I think that's kind of some basic bitch shit.
It's embarrassing.
What do you get, what plaque do you get for that?
Because you sometimes you see like the platinum,
dope looking plaques behind the YouTubers.
Yeah, I think we get like a little cardboard cut out.
It's like wooden, yeah. Yeah. It's not wooden. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's not good
Yeah, okay with my aesthetic it might look better. Yeah
This is my aesthetic. What does that mean? Don't worry about it aesthetic. No, like what is what is your aesthetic?
Just more of like a rugged like cool like earth tones. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. You're an earth tone guy
Yeah
allegedly
It's science.
So I don't even want the cool, dope, awesome YouTube
shiny plaque.
Right.
As an earth tone guy, I want the wooden, shitty,
kind of bogus, basic bitch, first level, step one
sort of plaque.
I didn't realize you were an earth tone guy.
Yeah.
Hold up.
Not according to my anything else.
My style.
Just, just, just only when it comes to my awards.
Those are the awards I tend to like the best.
I love you guys.
Not necessarily like my clothes or car or...
We know your basketball short game is off the Richter chain.
I forgot about all your forest green brown basketball shorts
We love it. We love it. I guess I I guess you wear camo every once in a while Yeah, I throw on some camo. Yeah, I'm not afraid when you're with your fishing people guys in the battlefield
But I'm yeah when I'm blasting pheasants out the air and you take backs any apologies any epic slams
I feel really confident really good good about all of these.
I guess I want to take back all the free press we gave billionaires.
Lord knows they don't need it, okay?
Come on, geez Louise, we spent some time with those billionaires today.
I'll let that ride.
Even though there's so many of them now, it's annoying.
There are still kind of fascinating creatures.
You're like, what would it be like to have that much money?
You know, billionaires, we've discussed that.
You'd be blowing up airplanes.
I would. I would.
I would for fun.
I love it. I love you guys.
Yeah. Billionaires are people, too.
That's what we really want to do.
Billionaires are people, too.
Adam would be like, I want that subway shut down when I get there to order my six
inch cold cut combo. I want that subway shut down when I get there to order my six inch cold cut combo.
I want to know I want all the smells when I go to Subway.
I want all the basically I'm going to attribute Jimmy John's slogan to Subway.
And I want the free smells.
Mm hmm.
Hey, he's the best.
Free smells. Is that what they say at Jimmy John's?
The smells are free. Jimmy John's free smells. There's a neon sign right on the...
Yeah, well...
Do you guys ever eat the day old bread?
Excuse me?
At Jimmy John's?
Yeah, you could buy the day old bread.
Do you ever do that?
I haven't, no.
I feel like back in the day I would. College.
I don't go to Jimmy John's enough. I should start going more because I do like it.
I feel like there's not enough Jimmy John's in Southern California.
There was one down the street from me. Well it's a college
chain right? Yeah. Yeah and the guy's a big game hunter. He's probably a
billionaire right? If you hunt big game you have to be a billionaire right? Oh
hang on our favorite billionaire has got to be the Papa John's guy. He's not a
billionaire though. There's no way. How is he not? I don't know. He really fell off the
map. I mean a billion is a lot of money.
That's a lot of money.
It's not anymore.
We've been over this.
It's basically not that much money anymore.
What the fuck am I doing over here?
So that's my take on it.
Kyle.
We'll continue this talk on another pop,
but how fast do you think you could become a billionaire
and with what idea?
I feel like I might have already done it if I
had a good enough idea to do it. Yeah yeah. You call on it then? Yeah I guess so. That was another episode of
We're Not Billionaires in Portsmouth. I'm still gonna send it.
Go on, pizza, pizza. I'm still gonna send it.
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