This Is Important - Ep 212: Poke My Snake So I Know It’s Real

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Swishy bangs, teen comedies, muscle relaxers, snakes, Australia, Montel Williams, jizz, & more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals.
Starting point is 00:00:22 You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las películas no tenían color, the comedy of a genio mexicano crossed borders y conquistó the heart of America.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Sonoro y iHeart's Mad Cultura podcast network present, Nace una Leyenda. Chespirito. How did a Mexican writer become a symbol of global television? Listen to Nace una Leyenda. Chespirito. In the iHeart Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts. Welcome to Criminalia.
Starting point is 00:01:02 I'm Maria Tremurkey. And I'm Holly Fry. Together we invite you into the dark corridors of history and true crime. For each season we explore a new theme from poisoners to stalkers, art thieves to snake oil salesmen. And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story. Listen to Criminalia on the iHeartRadio app,
Starting point is 00:01:27 Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... Why do you smell it and then all of a sudden your butthole goes BOP! And that like really pops open.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And I feel like Spock said it was it's two in the pink, two in the stink, and then one in the sink. Because if you grip it, you rip it. Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
Starting point is 00:02:13 ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,
Starting point is 00:02:21 ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Hey everybody. Welcome back to TII Nation. We're back! I'm a dude! And cut it! Hey everybody, welcome back to TII Nation! This is important! That song got... That was Lett brought to you by Goodyear.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Oh, and that one came on. That's a jam. That's a jam. The reason Blake played this is Ders tried to heat on me a little bit before... This is the way. No. Let's tell the full... tell the whole context. Yeah, I'm about to. When I put my hat on No. This is the way. No. Tell the whole context. Yeah, I'm about to. When I put my hat on, my hair went this way. Bully!
Starting point is 00:02:49 Got a little bang, Sheldon. So I have bangs. And I got little swooshy. What Adam calls famously swooshy bangs. I have my swoosh, swooshes bangs. And Anna, our producer said, you look so young with your bangs. And then Dyr sang,
Starting point is 00:03:06 what you want me to play it again? Just go to the exact part that I sang, please. Yeah, go to the exact part that Dyr sang. There's no possible way I could ever do it. Otherwise it fucks it up for him, it fucks it up for me. There's no way. There's no way I can hit it. Tell me why.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Find your answer. Swing with the clothes on. We can't keep playing it. They will take the episode down if I keep doing it, but go ahead. That's good. That's good press. That's good press for Wild Bad Boys.
Starting point is 00:03:32 They've done it once. They've done it once. They've done it once. They won't. Hey, Blake. We won. Don't gate. We won the best comedy podcast on the Ironheart Radio podcast
Starting point is 00:03:41 awards. They've done it once. They took a recent one down because I was playing too much of Dyrs's mom's favorite musician. Bajia? Bajia, yeah, Bajia's people got us. Oh, is that real? They took that episode down?
Starting point is 00:03:53 Oh yeah, she got legal. She got legally. Yeah, Bajia's people, they came for our neck, dude. Dude, is that real, Bam? Yeah. They took our episode down. It's no longer available. Yes, 207 Bajia, Bajia took it down. Wow. I mean, what else is that real bad? Yeah, they took our episode down. It's no longer available. Yes, 207 Bajia Bajia took it down
Starting point is 00:04:07 Wow, I mean what else is she up to? Well, that's that's the kind of hot content that we provide you have to list to it right when it drops because we're doing such Illegal shit. Yeah, even if even if we drop it many days after the podcast Have to subscribe and so Adam, how did you interpret me singing the song from when you were younger? Let's go. Yes, I thought you were trying to do a Blink-182 song and like the like swooshy,
Starting point is 00:04:35 when Tom DeLonge had the swooshy bangs, that's what I thought you were trying to get me. And I called you out and I'm like, that's not what you're trying to do. That lits doesn't fall under that same genre and I think you think it does. I was ready to take you to fucking task. Can I tell you something?
Starting point is 00:04:52 I don't know. I'm just singing songs that I think are part of an era. Gotcha bitch. Can I publicly apologize to you and then later in private I'll give you a private apology? Okay, very nice. I would love that. private apology. Ooh, okay. Very nice. I would love that. I am so sorry, dude.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I am so sorry. And TIA Nation, please mark this because I'll never fucking do it again, okay? Bullying! I'll never apologize to Ders ever again publicly. Oh, privately? Oh, yeah. All the time.
Starting point is 00:05:18 I think I interpreted that wrong. A lot of private apologies. We love a private apology. I can't remember if, I think this song is in the movie, but I watched recently, Can't Hardly Wait again. Ooh, good movie.
Starting point is 00:05:30 That movie is an actual banger. Okay. Yeah! Yessir. High praise. Now correct me if I'm wrong, that is Jennifer Love Hewitt at peak Jennifer Love Hewitt, right? It is peak Jennifer Love Hewitt at peak Jennifer Love Hewitt, right?
Starting point is 00:05:48 Oh, it is peak Jennifer Love Hewitt. Give me a hell yeah! Doing an acting style that can only be described as bad. You know what you're doing. Oh my God! Sexual. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's good or bad, it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:05:59 It's a weird like perverted. Yeah. Doughy eyed. Gosh. Just so sexy number one he was top tier for me when I was a kid yeah she was a game changer she was top top top tier yeah and what a name to go with the whole vibe oh what a great name you had to say it all she was when I heard that she was dating Jamie
Starting point is 00:06:22 Kennedy oh my god great name that's when I was like, oh, you have a shot. Being a comedy person, you have a shot. You can be with an ultimate babe. Hence Chloe. I think Chloe kind of looks like- As long as you have an ex experience. I kind of think Chloe looks a little bit like Jennifer Love Hewitt in a sort of different prism. If you're looking in a sort of different prism. If you're looking at her through a different prism.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Okay. Okay, so. Different lights. When you wanna move on from that, I'm ready to move on from that. Yeah, I kinda wanna dig deeper, but I don't wanna get you in trouble. Not quite sure.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Yeah. Well, no, big eyes. Dark hair. Dark hair. Dark hair can give you the doughy-eyed look. OK. Yeah. But like, just a different prism. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Just a different prism. Yeah, I see that. I see what you're saying. And shout out to Jamie Kennedy for inspiring you and many others, a generation. Yeah, and probably countless others. It is wild when really, really ugly comedians pull babes, and it's cool, and it's really good.
Starting point is 00:07:32 What? So you relate me and my wife and Jamie Kennedy dating Jennifer Lepore? No, no, no, no. This is not what we're doing here, Blake. No, no, no, no. I'm just like- Jamie Kennedy was not an ugly guy. He just wasn't-
Starting point is 00:07:44 I didn't say that. I didn't say Adam was. I didn't say Jamie Kennedy was. I just think it's cool. I was just had a whole nother thought. It's another prison that my mind is going through. Oh, OK. OK. So you're saying that Jamie Kennedy is like a skeet Ulrich. Is that his name skeet Ulrich? Yeah. Yeah. And when, you know, and they're kind of like just dumpy looking, doofy like comedian guys who are like, brr, brr, brr, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:06 And then they pull these super baes on. What prism are you looking? It's a different prism than the one you looked at me and Jamie Canhaldi. It's actually, it's like a completely different, yeah, we're in another whole freaking timeline over here, dude, don't. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Well, let me just circle back here. Sure. To Canhaldi. Okay, I'd love to. Okay. This movie has like joke after joke after joke. It's got like seven stories happening. Juggling. It is super, super funny.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Okay. I highly recommend a re-watch. What did you say? A Happy Gilmore? A revisit? A review? What do we call it? I don't know. It's a long time ago. Last week's a long time ago. What did you say? A happy Gilmore? A revisit? A review? What do we call it?
Starting point is 00:08:45 I don't know. It's a long time ago. Last week's a long time ago. It's a long time ago we filled that. That's true. That's true. I'm so sorry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:54 I was just talking with Isaac, my favorite manager that we currently have. And how is he after... Somebody help me! After Kyle allegedly annihilated him last week? Yeah. I don't know. Because Kyle, and correct me if I'm wrong, he keeps shouting that he's gonna rim Isaac. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Yeah. Allegedly. If he doesn't do what he tells him to, he's gonna start rimming him. Yeah, it's hella weird. I don't know if you're wrong or not. I don't know if you're wrong or not. Allegedly.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I'm not gonna correct you. Right. Yeah. I'm not gonna correct you. It's weird. It's just what I heard. Cause I don't know if you. Right, yeah. I'm not gonna correct you. It's weird. It's just what I heard. Cause I don't know if you're wrong or not. On the UTA job board site,
Starting point is 00:09:29 I think people were saying this. You're saying the rimim, that's weird. Yeah, well I think you were. So sorry, go ahead, go ahead. No, I think Adam was going. I thought you were going about like 10. What was it? Yeah, I thought you were going.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Was I going? I interrupted you and I'm sorry. I'll give you an apology later, but I just wanted to, you were going about talking to Isaac yourself. Oh yes, that's correct. Yeah, and then I kind of, and then you went.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I'm so sorry. Then you went. Hold up. You went to it and I forgot where I was going. I did went. I did went and I'm so sorry. Yeah, shoot. What were we talking about? I'm like, George went.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah, absolutely. But what did you go? I'm pissed now! What did you approach Isaac to discuss before I went? You went and I forgot where I was going. So now we just gotta move on. So now, oh, oh, oh, well, what I was, now I remember where I was going. So now we just gotta move on. So now, oh, oh, oh, well, what I was, now I remember where I was going.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Okay, here we go. I want there to be more great teen comedies. There were so many when we were kids. And is that because teens don't love going to the movies anymore? Oh, here we go, here we go.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Donkey! Is that why? Because we as our generation, our generation, loved going to the movies. So there was more movies for us, about us. I love it. And then now the younger generation, like, do you have to have like they have to be Tick Tock related or what is the deal bam?
Starting point is 00:11:05 I mean, yes, like this is this is what is super fucking crazy and weird that like, let's let's get charged. Let's get charged. If you make a movie about kids now, the phone, it's got to be woven in in a way that maybe isn't cinematic. Maybe it is, but like it's such a part of their lives. And even other movies, I'm like, if I'm watching a movie and people are just walking, if you're walking down the street and people are just
Starting point is 00:11:32 walking, I'm like, no, no, no. They all need to be on their phones. Everyone in every movie at all times should be on their phone unless they're just talking to somebody for a moment. That's why I did this seminal masterpiece that is Jexy. Wake up! Prophecy. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:11:48 And where is that available? Where can people go to watch Jexy? I want to say Netflix. I believe it was, or maybe it was on Netflix. It made its number two on Netflix. I love that. Purple South! And it wasn't a Netflix movie, so that's a big whammy.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Yeah, that's huge. You know, I don't know. I didn't keep up on the whereabouts of where we can find Jaxie, but but that is what that movie is all about ahead of its time. Yeah, I think so. It's probably worth a revisit, a rewatch. Yeah. Probably very telling. Mm hmm.
Starting point is 00:12:19 However we say it. Yeah. Yeah, it fucking sucks because well now now there's like every plot problem that was in the 90s We can't find our friends. They're over here. Now you have to explain why none of you have phones Yeah, or like yes Put your phones in here. They blew up the phones. The phone went in the pool. Fuck it. Yeah now phones can go in pools Yeah, now they're like waterproof. Well you just just text them. Yeah, find phone went in the pool. Fuck it! Yeah, now phones can go in pools. Yeah, now they're like waterproof. Well, you just text them.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Yeah, the find my friend function. Yeah. And like, do kids like, I don't know, like do kids not, there was so much mystery, and look, let's just be old people for a second here, but like, you would just go out and try and find people. Excuse me? Heck it my day. Or like, you'd hear people were somewhere and then you would go somewhere. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And now you kind of know everything and like, I don't know. Well, Blake didn't have many friends. So he doesn't know what this is about, apparently. Apparently. Right, Blake knew where they were. They're in the basement. I know, yeah, I knew right where my friends were. They were at John Paul's house and they never left.
Starting point is 00:13:23 And that's where we congregated and we didn't go anywhere yeah yeah he knew where his two friends were they were in the basement right and that's where they still are wasn't really beginning to making friends I'm saying we're not really kissing we're practicing kissing dude it doesn't count bro we're just wrestling down here mom it sounds like you're fucking. No. Where's my baby oil? Sounds like butt cheeks getting collapsed. No, no, no, no. That's not. No, mom.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Like Brennan Stimpy when they shake their butt cheeks together. Yeah, that's the razor's edge. That's a. Yeah, you used to have to. I mean, there would be like we would hit up even when we got cars because I was
Starting point is 00:14:00 one of the only people I knew with a cell phone. There was like maybe three or four other guys that had cell phones when I had a cell phone. There was like maybe three or four other guys that had cell phones when I had a cell phone, a sophomore year of high school when you get your car. Okey dokey. We're talking Nokia, little Nokia. If the four other guys with the cell phone
Starting point is 00:14:14 aren't hitting you back or aren't in the social groups that you're trying to hang out with that night, you literally had to drive past the Taco Bell or the King parking lot. Yeah, a little scope. You had to drive past the Taco Bell Skopie King parking lot. Yeah, a little scope. You had to go past the grocery store where we were just kicking in the parking lot. Yeah, just scope it.
Starting point is 00:14:31 And that's because it was like lit? You guys hung out in the parking lot because it had like floodlights or whatever? Yeah, so we would just sit in the middle of the parking lot. How was that lighting? It was definitely lit. Oh yeah! Pretty good. It was lit. Do you remember like early on like texting people in the 90s? That first text. Like cause texting is texting people is
Starting point is 00:14:59 like the preferred way of communicating but I don't really remember like texting as much as I do now was it because you had to hit the button like three times to find the yes Yeah, it was just harder. What was it called the leg? It was the team? T9 yeah, there you go T9 where if it was C on the I think Letter to or number two you had to hit three times, right? To get the C. Right. And there was no predictive. Wait, wasn't T9 the predictive thing? I thought T9 was like the upgrade
Starting point is 00:15:31 where you did not have to do the one, two, three to get C on the two. And T9, like, you could just type it and it would know. That's a question for the producers. I think it isn't, but you know. Hey producers, wake up! Wake up! I'm pissed now!
Starting point is 00:15:48 Why don't you put a little makeup? Poor man! Ders is right. Ders is right. Oh, Ders is right. Blig hit him. You want some points? Yes, points!
Starting point is 00:15:55 Oh, give this man his points. No, that's not a points. That's not a points. I told you, Ders! There you go. Yeah, okay. There you go. Ders likes that one.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Rowdy Gaines. Thank you. Shout out to Rowdy that one. Rout of Gains. Thank you. Shout out to Rout of Gains. But still, yes, you wouldn't want to text until you had a full like Blackberry keyboard. Yeah, that's when shit really started to snap. Which happened way after. Way after.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Way after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way after. Yeah, that shit was, it was slow and steady. But yeah, movies for teens, I guess I'm just like, they wouldn't think it would feel real unless it was like everyone's on their phone constantly. And I don't know how cinematic that is. Someone's gonna make it well.
Starting point is 00:16:31 No, that's probably right. And so you almost need to make, if it's about teens, not necessarily four teens, but about teens. It's euphoria and it's about fucking each other and doing drugs. Fucking the quarterbacks dad, right? Yeah, do give me that role. That's a meaty role. I'd like to dive into I mean that's cool And I do enjoy that but this is the way I don't think we would do
Starting point is 00:16:56 Euphoria justice it wouldn't be as sexy it'd be funnier. Yeah, no euphoria I'm sorry to say I never have seen an episode of euphoria. Where is it set? Is it in Los Angeles? I saw the pilot so did that the guy fucks a quarterback's dad. See I've seen every episode and I'm waiting I heard it's great, but I like Sam Levingston's other work the idol But do they ever explain because I've seen the cast and crew of Euphoria and they're pretty hot youngsters, right? Yeah, the crew, how's the boom operator? It's a hot crew.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Yeah, if you went to that high school, you were like, yeah, we've got some super babes. No babes, there's not a Cindy Sweeney at my high school. The focus polar does it with her titties? No. Yeah. What are we talking about? He just said the cast and crew sex. I'm like the crew. Like what?
Starting point is 00:17:57 I'm like, oh, okay. The gas, the gaff tape has those electrical tape Xs over the nipples. What are we talking here? No, man. It's like, if I'm gonna have a sexy set in front of camera, I want a sexy set behind camera as well, dude. And everyone listening, Blake's saying if, this is a demand he has on any production he's on.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Isaac! God damn it, Isaac. Yeah, I want everybody to kind of really be bringing the thunder. I want a hot set. When I say hot set, I mean- Steady hogging. Yeah, I want big, big old fricking swinging things.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Right. You want ladies in those saran wrapped yoga pants? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to Cheaters and Backstabbers. I'm Shadi Diaz.
Starting point is 00:18:45 And I'm Kate Robards. And we are New York City standup comedians and best friends. And we love a good cheating and backstabbing story. So this is a series where our guests reveal their most shocking cheating stories. Join us as we learn how to avoid getting our hearts broken or our backs slashed. Listen to Cheaters and Backstabbers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast, where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond
Starting point is 00:19:18 the headlines and the sound bites that have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed, just not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're going to die being you.
Starting point is 00:19:46 So you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly. Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las peliculas no tienen color, the comedy
Starting point is 00:20:21 of a genio mexicano cross borders y conquistó the heart of America. Ta ta ta ta ta! Sus personajes acompañaron las tardes de millones de latinos. Es que no me tienes paciencia. And his catchphrases are part of our culture, but ¿cómo logró un escritor mexicano convertirse en un símbolo de televisión? No contaban con mi astucia. Sonoro y Art Hearts, I'm Felipe Esparza and I'll take you on a trip through the work of the super comedian Chespirito from his television debut to the top of success.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Follow me, good ones! exit all Listen to national a enda just burrito as part of my cultural podcast network in the application I hot radio Apple podcast or wherever you stream podcasts Not to change the sub but Here it comes. I want to because I've been fucking up. So I'm still on my circle kick dog. I'm still on it. He's running circles. I'm still on it. And you guys might want to ask me what pod
Starting point is 00:21:31 I'm rocking with today. I'm rocking. To do. We might want to, we might not. Oh good for you. They up my meds and I'm currently on a lot, a lot of muscle relaxers. Wait.
Starting point is 00:21:44 So words are kind of flopping out. Okay, good. Really? Okay. Squeeze lemonade, dude. It's pink lemonade. And is this just flavor or is this also vitamins, electrolytes?
Starting point is 00:21:53 Like what's in this one? This one's just a flavor pod. I don't think we're getting much electrolytes in this one. I just had a kiwi watermelon that was electrolytes. So don't worry, don't worry, I'm good. It also just in that moment does seem like your meds are hitting. You were like, yeah. When did you take your last muscle relaxer? That was about about an hour and a half ago and it takes about an hour and some change to really
Starting point is 00:22:20 really start hitting. Here we go. Where does it hit you? Uh in my ability to focus and say words and enunciate words. Okay, cool. Yeah and hold and hold in BM's Adams like you gotta go change a diaper. Does it relax relax my sphincter? Do you find that you you take a shit when you do it or is it kind of a what is it a stool stuff present? No, well, literally today is the first day that they've upped my meds for this. Okay. So this is brand new territory for me. Okay. Let's go!
Starting point is 00:22:53 It's gonna suck. I've yet to do it while I'm working. So I had a day off so I didn't do it while, and I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds on the set of the righteous gemstone Yeah, that's gonna be my bro's gonna get an Emmy off of the pills dude I can't tell me just gonna be real fucking slack job I do did you see what or they're gonna have to write that Kelvin's now it's super into pills and shit Yeah, right bring in a whole new level. That'd be kind of fun. Yeah, that's cool I like that, but what are what are the pills that the gay guys do to relax their buttholes derse, you know this It's not a pill. It's a I don't need I don't have much at all. I don't need much for me
Starting point is 00:23:35 It's a visual thing that really does it for me. Yeah poppers I like Anna and Beck are both writing poppers. This the quickest they've ever answered. Yeah, wait, guys, what? Yes, we will ask a question and they're on their phones. They're Gen Z on their phone. How did you even know? I don't think poppers are pills. Don't you just smell it?
Starting point is 00:23:55 Hang on a second. Hey, Becca and Anna, please respond. What are poppers? Do you smell it? Wait, wait, let's see. You don't know about poppers? Out of everything, out of everything we've ever asked, why did you guys just answer that so quickly? Well, because they know.
Starting point is 00:24:11 And they're still writing. They're writing a whole freaking essay in the chat right now. It's bizarre. There's also Special K, which they like. Special K, that's a cat tranquilizer, which I've actually done Special K before. That's life! I was at Merrimack Woods when I first moved to California.
Starting point is 00:24:28 There was these girls I was trying to impress, and we go over to these guys' apartment, and I do... They were like, put Special K, like, on the weed, and we smoked it? Okay. I don't know if I remember correctly. You thought it was some corn flakes.
Starting point is 00:24:40 Yeah. Hello! Dude... Go ahead, give them points for that. Yes, points! It... You got it. S. Dude, go give him points for that. Yes, points. It you got it sucked, dude. I'm like, this absolutely sucks. I like couldn't talk to these girls.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I I'm like the whole time I'm going like, I'm not going to be able to make it back to my apartment, which is five apartments away. I'm going to die here. Can I tell you something? They did that on purpose. Didn't want you there and they were like, the only way to neutralize them is give him special K on the week. We neutralize them. Then you can't move and they fucking escape.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Neutralize them, dude. Yeah, sorry about it. Sorry, brother. We've got to take down this big cat with a trank gun right here. This horny trank cat. He won't leave. Can we get into the science of what like poppers are used because they a trank gun right here. Yeah. This horny trank cat. He won't. Can we get into the science of what like poppers are used because they, it opens up your, your, your asshole a little bit, right? Yours, not mine. Not mine. There's no way. Yeah. You don't
Starting point is 00:25:37 have to be scared to say butthole or asshole. Well, I don't want to say something offense. I don't know what poppers are directly used for, but I thought it was like, no, that's what they're directly used for. That's what they're directly... So it's like a muscle relaxant. You smell it and then... Or like, why do you smell it and then all of a sudden your butthole goes... Pah! Pah! And that like really pops. So yeah, what is the purpose of a popper?
Starting point is 00:25:57 I do like how Blake really cares. I'm like, we can move on. No, it's interesting. No, it's very interesting. Like... Move? Is it? It's not that interesting to me. This is interesting that shit's important Blake I don't think I currently can read please read this whole thing Oh, yeah, Blake reading is always fun Blake you got the mic poppers is a slang term referring to recreational drugs belonging to the Al
Starting point is 00:26:23 Alkin alkyl alkyl nitrate family of chemical compounds. When fumes from these substances are inhaled, they act as potent vasodilators. Yep. Vasilidators. Producing, vasilidators? Producing mild euphoria, warmth, and dizziness. Most effects have a rapid onset and are short acting.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Where's the butthole stuff? Oh, how much have a widespread recreation of the drug? It's the same thing. I like that. This is the one that Anna finds the one that's very clinical and by the books and then Isaac immediately finds the little snippet that says, the drug can cause euphoric effects and act as a sex enhancer by relaxing the anal muscles. Fuck it!
Starting point is 00:27:07 I'm gonna cum! Do you want your asshole relaxed? Absolutely! Yeah! Absolutely! I don't know. Don't you want it to grip it so it's tight? Grip it and rip it? Grip it and rip it? No, because if you grip it, you rip it.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Yeah, exactly. Hey, and Adam, we all know that's on your business card, you live by that, and you have business cards. I do have business cards. I like Adam going from school to school as a motivational speaker. Just remember, it happened to me, you gotta grip it and rip it. So pop on, pop on.
Starting point is 00:27:43 So you want a looser butthole. So, you want a looser butthole? Yeah, I think you want a nice loose butthole. Loose butthole. So it doesn't hurt you as badly, right? I would assume. Yeah. But who's it for? For everybody, man. What do you mean? I think it's for the guy who's getting the ass pounding, or the woman.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Or the woman. Yeah. To relax the butthole so your asshole doesn't hurt his bed. Relax. Loose butthole. I would assume. Sure. I would assume. Hehehehehehe.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Allegedly! What I would assume, I would assume. Ass-sume. Yeah, you're, you know what happens when you assume. Yeah, that's what happens when you take the thing. Loose butthole. Your ass, your ass zooms. You make a lot, you make a loose but what happens when you take this thing. Loose butthole. Your ass zooms.
Starting point is 00:28:26 You make a loose butthole out of you and me. I'm gonna have to get more circle, dude. Dude. You think you could fit that circle in after a few poppers? Yeah, I think he's really muscle relaxed right now. I've been doing the bit of, do you think I could fit this up my, what's that?
Starting point is 00:28:44 On set of The Righteous Gemstones? Okay. You saved that for season four or five? What, damn dog. It's science. They don't love it as much as we love it. Yeah, well I think it's a different time, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Maybe they don't wanna know that information. Yeah, maybe. That's possible. You have to take it as the truth. So I have a crazy story. So I was coming back from the gym right before doing this podcast. Believe it. Not that crazy. And I park at my normal spot and I'm sitting and I'm talking on the phone and I look into the bush and I see the fucking largest snake
Starting point is 00:29:17 I've ever seen in my goddamn life. No. This snake is like four or five feet and thick, like this thick. And he's wrapped up into the tree and I can just see his belly. And you're in your car. I'm in my car. Shut the fuck up! And I get out and he's like fucking laying there. Terrifying, dude. And I'm looking around for a stick to get it.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it looking at you? Leave it alone. What the hell? What the hell? to get it and wait, wait That's one of the main rules. Go ahead. Yes absolutely and I think if you well maybe that's Florida but if you kill snakes you get money for it so maybe. Go ahead. So you got out of your car instead of driving away at high speed. Well it's at my house so I was in the driveway and I'm looking into the bush at my home. Oh this was at your house. I thought sorry sorry, I thought you were at the gym. OK, you pulled up to the crib. No, no, no, no. So sorry. Yeah, I just got back from the gym.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I'm at the spot that I always park it in and I look directly ahead. And there's a fucking snake weaved up in this tree. And the fact that my eagle eyes with a bow sized kind of bump in it. Yeah, it was wild. And then I'm like freaking out. I send Isaac a photo. I was talking with Isaac, as I always do. I love you, Isaac, unlike Kyle.
Starting point is 00:30:51 How's he doing, by the way, after? Yeah. I don't like you guys telling me to show my tits. And I come in the house. I'm like kind of wigging out. And our nanny's here. And also, she's also my assistant assistant Michelle. She's here at the house I'm like we gotta get a stick. We gotta go poke this snake and she goes
Starting point is 00:31:09 Oh, are you scared and I'm like Michelle this snake is Like a record level snake for Charleston. It's a huge name. It's a wildly huge snake This is a fucking bow constructer in the the bush. It's a huge snake. No sir, I don't like it. And she's like, sure, okay, let me see it. Then she comes out. She's like looking at us. She's like, oh my God, it's fucking huge.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I'm like, I know. And I'm like wigging out looking for this snake. Fully wigged. I would have called the police. And he has it. If you grab the snake. Oh, what the hell no you're a monster it was fake it was fake dude what so she gets up closer and she's
Starting point is 00:31:53 like she's looking at and I'm behind her and I'm going like I'm being a little bit of a bitch that's kind of wicked now I'm like and and I go I go I go don't get too close I'm like don't get too close she's like Adam it's fake and I go I go I go don't get too close. I'm like don't get too close She's like Adam. It's fake and I'm like what it was fucking it was just the belly and it was wrapped up So perfect in in the tree. It's an inflatable for people that didn't smush the subscribe button on YouTube And you yeah Smush that freaking subscribe button if you didn't smush the you're not getting to see it, but it is a Plastic it's deflated a little bit now because I've been fucking with it, but Perfectly snaked up in there in the in the tree And who did this? Someone's like punking me.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Yeah, is that a prank? And I know who it is. I know who it is. Who is it? It's Arnong. Arnong. My next- the kids that are staying next door, they're like, they're actively like, punking me, dude.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Real cute. Say it! I know they are. I know they are, dude. Are you chummy with them, or are you like, mean to them? No, I'm pretty chumped. I know they are, dude. Are you chummy with them or are you mean to them? No, I'm pretty chumped. I'm pretty chumped up. You know what I think?
Starting point is 00:33:09 Adam, maybe you gotta go Python to Python. Go over there and fucking. Yeah, maybe you should go. If you're listening, you missed out. If you're subscribed and you smushed the subscribe button, I'm talking about arms. I'm a dude. What sucks is for how scared I got, the only way to get them back with like their parents would have to come talk to
Starting point is 00:33:28 me. You know what I mean? It'd be like, you can't scare, put a bear trap in their yard. You can't scare my children that badly. What if you do like a kind of like a fake home invasion or something? I kind of like hostage situation sort of thing. Hostage or like I come in, I kind of mess up the house, and then they think there's a burglar. So now the kids are always scared that there's like a burglar. Do a little Manson, helter skelter,
Starting point is 00:33:54 rearrange the furniture. I feel like that'll go well in this area that people just shooting anyone who's on the property. Yeah, I think that might really go well here in South Carolina. Yeah, is it open carry? We got one! Yeah, I would assume. Open carry, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yeah, that's close carry. All kinds of carries. Carrie Fisher. Whatever you can carry. Carrie Bradshaw. Water trash. From the backside, the front side looks less real, but the backside side if that's just 10 feet away from you Yeah, I could say that like snaked up into a tree. Yeah, it was fucking terrible. Mm-hmm Will you put it closer to the cuz it it looks faker the closer you get
Starting point is 00:34:34 I think I would have the same reaction. It looks very fake. Yes once you are holding it I mean, but he's in a foreign land. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it has a rattler. Oh Yeah, it does. It's a little rattler, but it was kind of dark. It was like Adam. I'm sure it got your juices flowing though I bet you were amped. I was so amped, dude Knowing you you got cool that you calls your nanny to take care of it No I wanted to stick because I was gonna poke it and see see if it moved, dude, because I was like, if it's maybe it's dead, you know, Oh, you thought it was a corpse.
Starting point is 00:35:08 but it was deep in the tree. It wasn't like right up front. So you really had to like get down there and look and you didn't want to climb into this tree in case it was alive. Mm hmm. Because then it would jump. Uh, so that was a big moment for me, dude. So now I think I have to like get find out what dog they have. Kidnap it. Yeah. Go online, pay someone a lot of money to make a perfect replica of their dog's head. Cut that dog's head off. OK, let's go.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Like put put some like ground beef around it or something. Adam, I was just going to say all of this. Go ahead. Yeah, OK. And then like set it on their steps and wait for them to come out. Something that would shake them to the core because that's the only way to get back to them. But I think that that might be, I think,
Starting point is 00:35:57 it might be one step too far. If you get the dog and you just take the leash off the dog and then you get like 40 pounds of ground beef and and then shape some of the dog and put some of the hair in it and then just put that on the like porch with the collar on it. And do we Blake and Blake's a good of you guys. He kind of is a good gauge of like what's too far. Do we think that's too far, Blake? Yeah. Um, I, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:29 I mean, if it's believable looking. Yeah, I think, and it seems like you've thought about it quite a bit and I don't know if my opinion is gonna stop you. I think you're. You know what, Adam, you know what would really get him, dude? No, it just, dude, it literally just happened right before the podcast, so I haven't had a lot of time to think about it, but but you have a perfect most sinister thing ever
Starting point is 00:36:48 We're gonna pretend it to cap it a that's the one that just come that's what the one that comes easy Like how could I scare these children to their core dude Adam? This is what you do. Okay, you take some of the poppers Yeah, I should ask my most sinister friend. Yeah, this is gonna be bad. You take some of those poppers. Oh, God. Yeah. And then you just, you feed that snake up your own asshole. And then you just go over to their house and you say, hey, but what they don't know is that the snake
Starting point is 00:37:17 is up your asshole. Wait, oh! You've been way owed. So you fucking got him, dude. You've been way owed. No, you say, no, you turn around you say no you don't even bring up the snake Just have a little bit popping out just have a little bit coming out asshole, and you know your dick swag turn around and spread your cheeks and say did you
Starting point is 00:37:40 drop the drops I Was gonna say maybe you could say like, I shit on your prank or something and then you pull it out. No, but I like, did you draw? Oh no, that'd be way too easy. That'd be way too obvious. No, you say, did you drop something and then you kind of spread your. I think you dropped.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I actually think that's better than that. My absolute insane idea. Yeah. You don't want to do like the obvious. That's a, that's way less insane than, absolute insane idea. Yeah. You don't want to do like the obvious thing. That's way less insane than fake killing the dog. Either way, they're not going to mess with you anymore. Yeah. Wasn't actually going to kill the dog.
Starting point is 00:38:17 You know? Fake kill. That's for damn sure. Isaac sent us a little pic if you smushed the subscribe button. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. Looks fairly real. Yeah, and that's me climbing up in theed the subscribe button. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. Yeah. Looks fairly real. Yeah, and that's me climbing up in the tree to get it.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Yeah. Is this in the chat? It's on my watch. Yeah, that's fairly real. The color of the snake is pretty good. It looks bad on the Zoom cam, but when it's amongst the leaves in the tree, it looks kind of real yeah it did it did they they actually got me and you could tell that there was some thought into it
Starting point is 00:38:50 because they weaved it up perfectly and it so it wasn't like right smooshed by the branches they like perfectly placed it there mm-hmm was there more than one I only ain't yanked out the one there might be another one in there wait there's a real one I'm look there's a nut There's actually a real snake in there Did you gotta get these guys back is there snakes even in your area were you told about snakes there are there are snakes here There's a there's what do they call those uh durst probably knows every snake imagined imaginable the copperheads copperheads It's science copperheads durst probably knows every snake imagineable, the copperheads. Copperheads. It's science. Copperheads, those are bad. Ders probably knows every snake imaginable.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Dude, Ders. I don't know, I feel like you just know poisonous things. Let's dive into that real quick. I don't know. Well, you know dogs, we were just assuming you know snakes. We thought you know all animals. You know dogs really well. That's true, and snakes are the dogs of the reptile world.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Very much so. That's absolutely true. are the dogs of the reptile world. Yeah, yeah much so there That's absolutely true. Ders you're kind of in a territory where you get gnarly ass like in Australia like the spiders and all that shit So here's what's cool about Australia all the spiders Should have saying that one at the beginning of the episode. There's spiders, smikes, spiders and smikes. All the spiders They have giant spiders They definitely have poisonous snakes, but here's here's the misnomer. Okay, which I know we like to say a lot Word of the day there's no predators here Except for you. Yeah, except for several years old
Starting point is 00:40:20 We sent you to the prison colony and dude there's so many playgrounds near me We sent you to the prison colony and dude, there's so many playgrounds near me There's no like bears or like jaguars or like that kind of stuff So like right if you're out for a trail run, you might see something like a snake But there's nothing that's gonna like chase you or like kill you you might scare something and get bit or whatever But there's no like apex predators might on. Interesting. I didn't think about that. Ocean? I don't know, man. A lot of sharks. A lot of sharks. Everyone's so casual about the sharks.
Starting point is 00:40:51 It's kind of disturbing. They're like, yeah, sharks and you might, people get bit. And I'm like, somebody help me! Dude, that's why Australians are the best. They're the best. Becca, in the comments, those spiders look so predatory to me. So, Becca, this is the problem with your generation. It's not about how you feel. Oh, wow. It's about facts. OK, I'm not going to let you slander those spiders.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Oh, that have welcomed me to their country with open arms. I like when you get super like Gen X or older millennial. You just turn into Robert De Niro. Yeah, you're from New Jersey or some shit. Like when you get super like Gen X or older millennial. You just turn into Robert De Niro. Yeah, you're from New Jersey or some shit. Well, New Jersey, as we know, is the first colony. Yeah. And so...
Starting point is 00:41:34 Hello! That is true. Is it? Welcome to Cheaters and Backstabbers. I'm Shadi Diaz. And I'm Kate Robards. And we are New York City stand-up comedians and best friends.
Starting point is 00:41:49 And we love a good cheating and backstabbing story. So this is a series where our guests reveal their most shocking cheating stories. Join us as we learn how to avoid getting our hearts broken or our backs slashed. Listen to Cheaters and Backstabbers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Starting point is 00:42:11 I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites to have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed,
Starting point is 00:42:29 just not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary, because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're gonna die being you. So you gotta constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials and troubles, you need to share it because you're gonna inspire someone. You're gonna give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
Starting point is 00:43:09 podcasts. Welcome to Criminalia. I'm Maria Tremurkey. And I'm Holly Frye. Together, we invite you into the dark corridors of history and true crime. For each season we explore a new theme. From poisoners to stalkers, art thieves to snake oil salesmen. We uncover the secrets of history's most interesting figures, such as Walter Minx, the man who built his own submarine hoping to escape with his blackmail payout under Lake Michigan. It sounds made up, but it's 100% true. We'll explore the crimes as well as societal forces at play, from unfair sentencing to jaw-dissolving health risks.
Starting point is 00:43:57 And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story. Listen to Criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I feel like the most deadly things in Australia are the birds. I feel like you get attacked by birds a lot out there. So you should watch out for it. What do you mean you feel that way? Again, it's a feeling based, yeah, this is I forgot he's Gen Z Yeah, I think there's a lot of gnarly bird every you're giving me
Starting point is 00:44:33 Gen Z feels when one makes you feel that like the kookaburra sits in the old gum tree Like and then like attack kookaburra attack. He's's just talking. Blake, can you give us just five minutes off? Yeah, absolutely. Any context at all as to what the fuck you're singing right now? You've never heard the kookaburra song? OK, it's not about a bird that attacks, but you guys didn't sing kookaburra back
Starting point is 00:44:59 in freaking elementary school? In the Midwest? No. No, we're from the Midwest. So in the Midwest, you know No, we're from the Midwest. So in the Midwest, you know what they do? Crows. They teach you facts.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Sparrows. Okay? So out there in California, they'll teach you all these little songs because they know you're too fucking dumb. Land of fruits and nuts. The weird ghost. Too stupid to learn the facts. You've never heard.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Kookaburras, it sits in the old gum tree. Merry, merry, king of the bushes he. I don't even know what a gum tree is. They say, laugh, kookaburra, laugh, kookaburra. We have oak trees. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. We've got. So you guys didn't learn about other countries
Starting point is 00:45:40 in your songs? You didn't go on a musical journey? Can't believe you guys have never heard freaking kookaburra It's when I meet Kyle. Yeah. No was this like a summer camp song or like a school song? It was just like just a song you fucking sing Somebody help me we would just sing lean lean on me a lot. Well that one's hard, too It was a governor like Joe Brown or whatever the guy's name was when we were kids No, Judge Joe Brown or whatever the guy's name was when we were kids? No. Judge Joe Brown, for sure.
Starting point is 00:46:06 No, I mean, was that when Kamala was the attorney general and she's like mandating all these dumbass songs in schools? What the hell, dude? Poly charge, dude. Adam, you've got the mic. The mic, the floor is yours. I love you guys. Dude, poly charge. Go off, Kingolly charge. Dude. Go off, King.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Do not come. Dude, I know all the facts. And the fact that, dude, I will say, I don't know much about Kamala Harris, or Kuga Bearz, but the fact that she dated Montel Williams. No. Yes. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:46:44 Legend. That is legendary. Are we gonna get him stumping for her? Is that what they call it, stumping? What does that mean? Yeah, dust him off, like where is he? Where is Montell Williams? Montell Williams was my dad's favorite person
Starting point is 00:46:55 for like 10 years. I vouch, I vouch. So Montell Williams, I feel like a lot of younger people don't even know who the fuck Montell Williams is. Oh God. The fact that she dated. Oh, this is how you do it? Is that, no. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:47:08 No, that's Montel Jordan. Jordan, which also would have been pretty tight. Pretty cool. But then I would have known that she was really down if she was kicking it with that. Six foot seven. Montel is like Williams. Montel Jordan.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Well, he had the daytime talk show, Montel. Oh yeah, yeah, that's how I knew him. He had this talk show. Was it just Montel? Wasn't the Montel Williams show? I thought it was the Montel Williams show. I think maybe they were two different. Like he was syndicated on one
Starting point is 00:47:37 and then maybe had his own show later that was just Montel. There was a whole Montel universe because he's such a freaking legend, mate. Legend, dude. And he was a whole Montell universe. Yeah, because he's such a freaking legend made Legend dude, and he was a very cool guy You just wanted to be with him. You want to hang out with him? Yeah ex-military, right? Oh, yes I think I think so. Yes Marine Corps Navy apparently he dated You know the Democratic nominee for the president of the United States Yeah, so what good free just she just got my boat You know, the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Yeah. So good for him. I like it. She just got my vote. Yeah. Who she used to date. That's, that's her elegy. I know that they were, they were, they were trying to be like, Oh, look at this skank dating Montel Williams.
Starting point is 00:48:16 And I'm like, yeah, but Montel Williams rocks. It's not like she. Yeah. I think, and Adam Lee, he dated. Yeah. Oh, they were there. They're saying that online yeah, absolutely on his feed Can we talk about my it's work again, we're like late the game. But and I've been kind of out of the country. But my favorite thing is watching everybody post like their thank yous to Joe Biden. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm like, can we just chill?
Starting point is 00:48:52 They're like, thank you for your service. I'm like, he's not a he's not dead. Well, we don't know. Thanks for not dropping out a year ago so we could run up in this game a little more prepared. Like, what are we talking about? OK. Yeah. And also, this we talking about? Don't care. Yeah. And also, this is so crazy.
Starting point is 00:49:07 He's not going to see your post. He's not going to see your post. No, he's not going to give you a retweet. Girl that you went to high school with, she's not going to see your post. But even the famous people, I'm like, you're not in the mix. No, especially the famous people. I'm like, no one gives a shit. And I have some names that I want to blast, but I mean, they're good people. I'm like, no one gives a shit. And I have some names that I want to blast.
Starting point is 00:49:26 But I mean, they're good people. They're just it's so dumb to post. And I see people, everyone's posting their photos. And full disclosure, Adam, you worked with him. I did. I did. Yeah, you should have done one. Yeah. Dude, blast one right now. And you don't need to you don't feel any need to be like, he's my guy. We've hung out for six hours together and we did hang out we me and Isaac went to the White House he almost introduced me to Barack which would have
Starting point is 00:49:54 been fucking sick. That's what you want. Yeah that's what I wanted that's that was the that was laptop just you can have it just take it just take this laptop. And I'm like this laptop. I don't it, just take it. Just take this laptop. You're like, ah. And I'm like, this laptop, nah. I don't need it. I don't want to carry it. This won't be worth anything. Just please, just keep, you just store it away.
Starting point is 00:50:11 They're like, hey, there's my son's laptop. Here, hang on to it. Here, hang on to my son's laptop. Oh my God. By the way, the more I talk about these things, I have, I don't know, I don't know what's on the, I don't know what the laptop is. I just keep hearing about the laptop. And I'm like, dude, is his dick pics were on here?
Starting point is 00:50:28 Or like, what was on the? I just I see the headline. I just don't read smoke and crack on the laptop. Who's the laptop? But the laptop is like a deal breaker for some people. I'm like, sure, man. Yeah, I guess. But you know that Montel Williams,
Starting point is 00:50:46 the presidential nominee. Oh, man. For the the the Democratic ticket presidential nominee. Fucked Montel Williams. And that's who gets my vote, dude. Montel Williams. Absolutely. Do not come. Absolutely. Freaking Lutely.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Yeah. Do not come. He was great. I not to.'s alleged. She's legend Montel Yeah, I bet you know what my see my I said I see Montel on infomercials now I see him doing infomercials now sometimes Super jacked still got it. Yeah, I feel like Kamala's probably a little bit like He's the one that got away. And she needs him now. She needs him now.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Dude, what if her first, what if she becomes president in her first order of- What'd you say about Furby? What if she reinstates Furby's? What if her first order of business is to put him in the fricking cabinet, bro? Oh, right. Dude, he's like secretary of-
Starting point is 00:51:42 General. Secretary. He should be the general. D of defense. You don't give him like a huge job, like he's secretary of like transportation or something where you're like, ah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Yeah, I guess they kind of do stuff, but mostly people under them do the stuff and then they just sort of go, yeah, we need roads. Wah wah. But think about a bald, sensible, jacked guy. Yeah. Where's his best fit? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Is it, I mean, you know, I don't wanna waste, I don't, honestly, I don't wanna waste him on transportation. I'll give him the vice, get him. Yeah, well see, here's another thing. We don't know enough about the government to even know what would be the best fit, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Vice would be clutch, because if you're a figurehead,
Starting point is 00:52:24 you're not really doing that much. And I feel like he would run he would run it. I love you guys. How many videos there are of Kamala like doing little dances like with a group of kids and stuff
Starting point is 00:52:37 like you see? Have you seen the mashups? Oh, yeah, there's mashups on the Internet now. I've heard just like she can move, dude, doing this little one, two step. Sure. She can move. I do like Donald Trump's dance too though.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Trump's arm dance is unreal to me. It's pretty fire. That almost swung me. That almost swung me. Whoever wins is gonna be a hell of a dancer, we know that, American dance is there. Okay? The big dance.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I wonder if by now if, you know, break dancing is in the Olympics. I wonder if we have a gold medalist yet. I don't know how deep we are in the Olympics right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Well, I can tell you this. The Olympics. Yeah, we're we're recording this a week ahead, a little over a week ahead. So we're almost two weeks ahead. Swimming just happened. So the Olympics start this Friday.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Yes. Breakdancing is in the Olympics, literally. Yeah, I know. It's frickin' sick as hell, dude. We knew what you meant. It's frickin' sick as hell. I don't even know what that would mean figuratively. Figuratively.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Dude, breakdancing is in the Olympics figuratively. It's figuratively. Yeah! OK, my bad. I'm going to have to step that one out figuratively. It's figuratively. Yeah, okay my bad Yeah, I can't wait to see that and then and then the last the last thing that the you know hot Polycharged topic that we haven't brought up is the fact that Trump was shot in the fucking ear, dude the ear man God yeah, yeah, not okay yeah not okay not okay bro tell you what is okay is Trump's late go ahead Trump's plastic surgeons or whoever put his ear together so quickly his ear is already looking great it's back oh it's back baby I haven't seen it okay oh his ears back
Starting point is 00:54:23 okay looks better than ever I feel like he'd be the kind of guy who'd be like leave it dangling. No, no, no, like it's his calling card No, because no Trump he likes to look good and you could tell by the way his his fit bod Does he and his hair? Huh? No, well, he likes to look good in the way he thinks looks good, you know? Right, right, right. He thinks his orange tan is good looking, so he does it. Right, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:53 He thinks his comb over, he's more embarrassed to be bald than he is to have this crazy comb over, so he does it. It is a cotton candy situation. So I think he would say, I've got gotta take care of this ear situation right now. Did he get one pointed a little bit, like a werewolf? Yeah, he's a super, he went Spock mode. He's a Trekkie, that's what he's running on. Yeah, if he just starts doing this a lot.
Starting point is 00:55:20 He's like, honestly, I'm a change man. We gotta live long and prosper, y'all. That's what it's all about. Oh wow, that would actually be sick. That would be sick. Yeah, is the thumb in or is it out? Um. Ninja Turtle hand.
Starting point is 00:55:31 I don't know. I think it is. It's out. I haven't watched a lot of Star Trek. Thumbs out. It's easier to do when your thumb's in, I feel, but. Yeah, I feel. Look at that dopy trend.
Starting point is 00:55:41 With the Spock hand. You know what, I think the thumb is out because there is the you could do the Emoji of it. Okay, right that it it is a it is one Yeah, it's official it seems right and I feel like Spock said it was it's two in the pink two in the stink And then one in the sink. Yeah, and then when you just yeah one like the third person because you're having a threesome They just suck on it. That's what Spock said. Dick Long and Dick Long and Schlanger.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Yeah, that shit is fire, bro. Dick Long and Dick Long and Schlanger. How about points? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can I can have those. You've earned those. Yes. Thank you. It kind of just spoke to me, man. It just came out. It came pouring out, dude. Thank you. It came pouring out.
Starting point is 00:56:34 That's one way to... We gotta get that sponsor. We do. We need a pauper sponsor. And just, guys, listening, we got a potential sponsor that makes you jizz more. So more to come on that, hopefully. We're really excited. Do we even care?
Starting point is 00:56:48 Should we start talking about them now? Yeah, let's, let's talk about it. That they, so we have to approve all these sponsors and we don't really care. As you've heard, we don't really give a shit. These guys are going to get a free beer. You know, if it's a sponsor, yeah, we'll fucking say yes We say yes to everything every once in a while when something comes along we do really love some stuff We love Philadelphia cream cheese. Yeah, that's obvious
Starting point is 00:57:14 You know, we fucking love it fucking love the cream cheese. I do I tell you what I love is zoa energy Natural green energy so energies to livegy's delish. Circle, Circle's getting some. Circle isn't a sponsor, they should be, for how much I goddamn love it. They should be. Hey Circle, will you send me one, guys? Come on. We love BetterHelp, we love Coors, we love Coors.
Starting point is 00:57:37 We really love Coors. They sent me a big box of Circle, because I've been hyping it up. I'll take a small box of Circle. Popo Sal! We'll get you some Circle, I feel. Thank you, baby. of circle mom because I've been I've been high pinning up I'll take a small box of circle We'll get you some circle I feel thank you baby, but do we know the name of the company? What is it? We don't the the load the low yeah here in a post So it's VB health and it's co called the load boost So this will help your orgasm intensity, semen volume and taste.
Starting point is 00:58:09 Yeah. Yeah. And somebody help me. And I like they also have a pill called soaking wet. Yeah. So that's a probiotic for total fricassea vaginal health and increased wetness. You're a monster. I mean, how what do you think if you go over to a girl's house?
Starting point is 00:58:27 Let's say we're all young men. We're single. We go over to a girl's house. And we're, you know, you're in her bathroom. And just on the counter, you're not snooping around, but just on the counter there, there's a pill bottle that says soaking wet. So you take a look.
Starting point is 00:58:42 And it says for vaginal wetness and how it's gonna be soaked. You need another four inches. You immediately take three yourself. Oh you're you get soaked up yourself then. I did. Yeah. Oh wow. Just to see what happens. I wonder what that would do to a man. I think you just start salivating or you get diarrhea. Yeah No, maybe your dick head just hurts Drip and secreting. Oh sure secreting you get diarrhea too Yeah, so maybe not maybe you wouldn't do that. Yeah, maybe I would the cause of diarrhea
Starting point is 00:59:19 Snail trail that being said We absolutely want them to be a sponsor Yeah, please we're looking forward to this. The fact that they came to us, they thought of us, we feel great about it. Came to us, get it? Came to us, yeah. Came to us?
Starting point is 00:59:32 Yes points, yes points. Yes points! We love it. And please, please decide to sponsor the podcast. We would love it. We definitely should do a before and after. Oh yeah, we're gonna definitely do some really cool stuff for YouTube, so smash that subscribe button.
Starting point is 00:59:50 We gotta test the products. I had a bug. Oh no. This is, what I can tell you is that he's excited, he's chunking right now, he might have lost his internet. And I don't wanna speak for him, but yeah, Adam has kind of complained about having smaller loads and like he's And the taste because he likes to shoot into his own
Starting point is 01:00:13 He's kind of been talking about how he's noticed is a little bitter kind of slightly spicy and And and here's the thing about Adam's sensitive guy. He's been beating himself up about it beating himself off But beating himself up about it, beating himself off, but beating himself up about it. And really just not too pumped about the taste, the flavor. Yeah, he's been going through it. His viscousness. Yeah, every day off pod, he kinda talks to us about it and it's really nice.
Starting point is 01:00:41 And we're like, dude, cheer up, it's fine. It's fine, it'll get better. It gets better. It'll get better as soon. It does get better. As soon as you get on that VB health tip. Yes. And I don't want to even like take the podcast into like a downer zone, but he's been dealing with this for a while.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Just kind of weak loads, stinky, stinky, weak loads. And so this, if we get this sponsor, it's gonna be a real boost to not only his loads and their flavor, but just to who Adam is, how he walks into a room. And hey, hey, he's back. So hopefully, you know, I'm not speaking out of school when I speak for Adam about how it'll change his life for the better. What? What happened? Dude, my internet keeps going out.
Starting point is 01:01:34 No, it's okay. We got you. I think we should probably wrap it up. We kind of just, yeah, any take backs, blazers? Any take backs or? You guys had something up your sleeves. I know it. I know it, dude. No, no, no, no, no, no, backs, blazers? Any take backs or... Do you guys, you guys had something up your sleeves. I know it, I know it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:01:50 We wouldn't even. All right. Don't even have sleeves. Hey, fair enough. And I trust you guys with my lives and you would never put words in my mouth or do anything distasteful when it came to me because you know, I hold myself to such high regard.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Distasteful, distasteful is the perfect word to describe what we were going over. That'd be a smack in the face to me and my family if you did anything like that. All right, any take backs, apologies, apologies? Any apologies or epic slams? A smack in the face to the lineage mate. I feel pretty good, I wanna apologize to you guys
Starting point is 01:02:23 for the way you guys were brought up, the fact that you don't know the fucking Kookaburra song, you guys are uneducated in the world. Hey, T.I.I. Nation, slide into Blake's DMs and let him know. Every time you say that, they really do, and it's a real outpouring. Let him know whether or not you know
Starting point is 01:02:43 what the fuck that song is and I guarantee you're gonna get some California kids that know about your dumb little song But the rest of America in the world because we know that TI nation is no longer just a nation. We're all over the place Yeah, we're we're international baby Durs is in Australia as we speak man and where the kookaburra is from, it is local to Australia, and Australia only. Oh, you know. Good and careless.
Starting point is 01:03:10 What else, what else? I was busy watching, can't hardly wait, great soundtrack, highly recommend it, a good revisit. Okay, excellent. Well, maybe go outside, look in a bush, and find a kookaburra, take a walkabout. And you know what? I wanna take back, you know, those people who take a walk about and you know what I want to take back
Starting point is 01:03:25 You know those people who sent messages to Biden you know I don't think I went in hard enough on how dumb they are and what they thought it meant to anyone but Super dumb yeah super super super super super super dumb Yeah, you super super super super super dumb. Yeah. Um. Adam? Yeah, you're a fucking idiot. What else? Um, no, I think I stand by everything that was said.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Once again, I'd like to apologize for my friend Kyle on Kyle's behalf to Isaac for what he said the last couple weeks I think now. Right. He's been really taking off. And I'm sorry to Isaac from my friend Kyle, the alleged baby eater. He's done allegedly he's done a lot of really nasty things, but apparently he's directing, um, see ya. Happy Madison. Happy Gilmore to happy Gilmore, which is great.
Starting point is 01:04:17 I always say happy Madison. Happy Gilmore to we're very excited for him. We are stoked on that. He's going to do great. He's going to do a great job. Done do great for somebody who calls himself the Lord of the Rim. You couldn't ask for him. We are stoked on that. He's gonna do great. He's gonna do a great job. Gonna do great. For somebody who calls himself the Lord of the Rim, you couldn't ask for more.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Water trash. That's right. You know, someone who, between gritted teeth, shouts at our manager and says, you bow to the Lord of the Rim. It's huge. This is a huge step for him.
Starting point is 01:04:39 He's gonna do a great job. He's gonna knock it out of the park. Yeah. Yeah. Just doing some blocking here. All right. Well, that's another episode of This Is Important. Look at this, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:59 The sun is setting on the East Coast, and the sun is rising there in Australia, man. Woo! We're international, baby! It's already tomorrow. It's tomorrow. Don't take this episode down. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons?
Starting point is 01:05:18 Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions,
Starting point is 01:05:38 sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las películas no tenían color, the comedy of a genio mexicano crossed borders y conquistó the heart of America, Sonoro y iHeart's Mike Cultura podcast network present,
Starting point is 01:05:58 Nace una leyenda, Chespirito. No cantaban con mi astucia. How did a Mexican writer become a symbol of global television? Listen to Nace una Leyenda, Chespirito, en la aplicación I Heart Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts. Welcome to Criminalia. I'm Maria Tremurki. And I'm Holly Fry.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Together, we invite you into the dark corridors of history and true crime. For each season, we explore a new theme, from poisoners to stalkers, art thieves to snake oil salesmen. And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story. Listen to Criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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