This Is Important - Ep 222: Turns Out Trump Is Running For President

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Today, this is what's important: Election day, television salesmen, twins, the new Clippers stadium, Medellín, skincare, Jurassic Park, & more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Brandon Kyle Goodman. I'm a black, gay, non-binary author, TV writer, actor, and I'm messy. But not in the way you think. Messy as in I'm human and flawed. I'm on a mission to destroy shame around sex. And the only way to do that is to talk about sex. So that's what we'll do on my brand new podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. Join me on Tell Me Something Messy with brand new episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically, crucially important! Today on This is Important... Vote for who you think Chuck Norris would vote for. They gave me gas, I was knocked out, then they gave me the backshots. Ah, I'm fine, my dick's not purple. And here we go. I'm gonna come.

I'm gonna come. Do not come. Oh boy. Here we go. Here we go. Hello, Holly Charm. Oh my god. I'm gonna come.

Do not come. Here we go. Thank you. That's a really good version of that song. Holy smoke. Where did you find that one? There's no place in America! The president shouldn't be able to come! There we go!

Somebody's been there. Work! Wow, you got in the crates. I like that a lot. Somebody's been in the crates, they got one new clip. But is that a day that somebody's been in the grace? They got one new clip. It is a big day today. So today is Election Day here in America. Election Day. Yeah. I nation turn out and I watched the news

recently. OK. Donald Trump is running for president, dude. I'm going to come. He is again. Didn't he already do it? He's doing it. He's doing it live. He's doing it again. He's doing it again, and he's like the apprentice guy. Yes.

And he's running for president, dude. Crazy, right? Yeah, it's kind of wild. So he's going to run for president. I do like the premise of your joke is that you know him more from The Apprentice than being president previously. You're fired.

He was president? I just watched the news the other day for the first time. That's huge, dude. Good for you. Yeah. No, no doubt. So yeah, he's running for president and then this woman, and the way Donald pronounces it, Kamala.

Kamala? No, you fucked it up again. No, doesn't he say Kamala? He says Kamala. Oh, Kamala. Kamala? No, no you fucked it up again. No doesn't he say Kamala? He says Kamala. Oh Kamala. Which weirdly was like a racist pro wrestler arc like character. Do you remember Kamala? No I don't remember Kamala.

Of course we do, right Adam? And uh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. And explain exactly why this pro wrestler was racist. Yeah, and then we'll be right back. There used to be a lot of racism in wrestling. Used to be? Just look at a picture of him. It's like a super, super offensive caricature

of an African tribesman. It was, even as a kid, I'm like, this isn't right at all. Right, he's holding shrunken heads and stuff. Yeah and like weird paint on his titties. Oh okay. Yeah. Did you say weird paint on his titties? Okay and maybe because I've never seen the news or even read a thing ever.

There's not African tribesmen that look exactly like that person. Right. The grass skirt situation. No I'm not sure how much they studied into that. I'm not sure. Yeah. He was even part of. And like I said, I've never seen the news. You know, I think Vince McMahon, he went to go build a well in a village and was like, is it cool if I co-op this paint job you've got on, sir? Exactly. I think if I know anything about my boy, Vince.

Yeah, your boy. He died. Only your boy. I love everything about him. And like I said, I've anything about my boy Vince, yeah your boy. He died only your boy I love everything about him. And like I said, I've never seen the news I love you guys and I don't know anything about any pop culture or that's good history That's good. I love Vince McMahon and I stand by everything he's ever done. Okay Good Adam everything that's that. Yeah, that's cool. You're an attitude-era guy. I think he's big into fisting, Adam. Punches, big punches.

Yeah, I stand by everything he does. Low blows. Yeah, and you just bought P. Diddy's greatest hits. You're hyped. I haven't, like I said, I don't watch the news. I recently got into P. Diddy. Mostly his new stuff. Yeah. It's good.

I love his newest stuff. So. How funny would it be if he came out with his own brand? How many billions? And I'm talking billions of dollars, would he make if he came out with his own brand of baby oil?

Right now, Diddy Sauce, gotcha bitch! Or whatever, you know. Wait, you're calling it Diddy Sauce? You just had a name in the chamber. Wait, you're calling it Diddy Sauce? Well, I don't know, I feel like, well, we could workshop that, but I, you know. I think you nailed it.

Okay, Diddy Sauce. Okay, diddy sauce Yeah, diddy sauce is good. Yeah, he saws is good. Did he saws did he's boy oil? I don't know. What do we? Did he saws is great. We'll stick there. Yeah, we'll stick with diddy sauce And so he comes out with that how many billions do we think slick your dick with diddy sauce? Do we think slick your dick with diddy sauce? Yeah, what would we call that kind of product where it's like it's like the ship is going down like a Hail Mary product Well, I feel like doesn't Trump like always do that He always has some insane but the ship never seems to go down It always seems like this ship is about to sink and then he's like hey

I'm selling Bibles now and you're like like, you're doing what? But it wouldn't be like, but the product isn't about the thing that's trying to take him down. Oh, right. Like he wouldn't be like, oh, I fucked a porn star. Guess what? I'm fucking another one. Everyone buy the tape. You know, there's no place in America. The president shouldn't be able to come. Thank you. He's sort of doing that. He's sort of doing that. He's like, I fucked a porn star.

I'm actually selling Bibles. So I'm a good guy. But isn't that like, that's the opposite is what I'm saying. You're saying lean into it. Like start up, start vivid. Refire up vivid entertainment. If Diddy started selling like loop dust or like something to dry people off, like towels. Diddy towels.

Diddy towels is pretty cool. He's like, you know what? I've lubed up too many people. It's too much. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Chalk. He's chalking up. Ditty chalk. Rock climbing or... Fuck it. Ditty chalk.

Yeah. No, it's a thing that you wash your car with, like the ShamWow thing that really soaks up all the water. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. What is the damn word for those things? I love those things. ShamWow thing that really soaks up all the water. Oh yeah, yeah. Yes, what is the damn word for those things? I love those things. A Shammy.

That's a Shammy. Yeah, it is a Shammy. Damn ShamWow. What is the damn name for that? Is the ShamWow guy the guy that died? No, that's Billy Mays. You know I'm working on a movie about, not about these guys, but sort of based loosely

on these guys, but sort of based loosely on these guys the sham wow guy He had like I think methamphetamine in his system and got caught with a bunch of hookers. So dope, dude That's why so he bit somebody right? Yeah allegedly didn't he right? Yeah happens to the best of us I don't even think it's allegedly and I think I think he's the one that got bit. Well I say because I don't know yeah. I think he's the one that got bit. He got bit? So it is a lie. Wait wait wait wait hold on what did he got bit by someone? I think he got bit by a hooker called the police on them then they came and then there's a bunch of hookers. They're like well you got hookers sir. And they were doing meth together and he got arrested Yeah, which is so funny. Yeah, I hate when that happens and then

Billy Mays RIP. Okay, he's our greatest IP, but he was a party animal too, dude. He died with cocaine in his system Oh, damn These are not shocking, you know shocking allegations. These guys rock. Hold up. These guys are cool. Allegedly! You know allegedly. Yeah And what is Billy May's product? He was slap chop. Was he slap chop? I mean he did everything dude Oh we can. ShamWow was slap chop right? What the hell? He had both of them? Wasn't that the same guy? Here we go Producers are sliding in. Here we go. Here we go. We're gonna Research, research. Producer Todd. Big Todd dog. Give us Billy Mays. It's weird that you brought this up because in my Google news algorithm,

I'm getting a lot of Susan Powder news. She's back. She's writing a memoir. Who's that? Who's Susan Powder? She was the blonde crew cut spiky hair fitness guru in the 90s who made a zillion bucks and then she just lost it all because people took her money.

Right. Dude, the Tony Little guy, the gazelle guy, Made like a zillion bucks and then she just lost it all because people took her money Dude the Tony little guy the gazelle guy. There was a lot of Bonnie the gazelle ponytail guy. Yeah. Yeah So I think Tony little yeah. Oh, yeah, Tony Tony big You feel me about body by Jake that guy was off the chain. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you know, that's a Haley Steinfeld's uncle, okay Oh yeah, you know that's Haley Steinfeld's uncle. Okay. Wow, dude! Did you know that? Okay.

Adam, once again. I love it. Very good friends with very young people. Yeah, well I did. I went to dinner with Haley and her brother when I was in New York. This is years ago now. Okay. Jerry Steinfeld?

That's very funny. Well, you know Haley Steinfeld? She's a famous actress. She was in Pitchiley Steinfeld, she's a famous actor. She was in Pitch Perfect 2 with me and she's been in some stuff. Now she's a pop star. Please don't stop the music. And I went out to dinner with her brother and her.

And I was, I don't know, somehow we got on the topic of like fitness and I was just saying how funny I think some 90s. I don't know how you could possibly happen at a dinner with Adam Devine. Yeah, you also weren't wearing a shirt. This is how it started, first of all, her brother Bailey, super jacked.

Is he? And Adam's like, I don't know, her name's Hailey, I'm saying his name's Bailey. Okay, Bailey and Hailey. He's probably jacked, and Adam goes right in and goes, how are we doing it? Yeah. How are we getting there?

That's probably exactly how we got into it. And so you're talking about Jack's man, go ahead. And as always, and I'm saying how funny I think, and a funny movie would be based in that world of 90s fitness stars. Okay, I like that. Cause they're all crazy. And then they're like, are you, you're joking, right?

And I'm like, what do you mean? And they're like. Adam Devine, well known for comedy. And I you you're joking right and I'm like what do you mean and they're like Adam Devine well known for comedy and I was going down the list I'm like a body body by body by Jake right and they were like you're kidding right and I go no what do you I mean we I think it'd be a funny movie and they say that's our uncle you love to joke you want to know what the bit is and I I mean I did not put that together. What a cool uncle to have. Imagine. He had his own TV show for a while. He did?

Body by Jake? No, he had a sitcom. Oh, yeah, he did. Body by Jake had a sitcom. He was an actor who just was like jacked. What? I told you, dude. I think he was a fitness guy that became an actor.

And then he became a fitness person. Was he an athlete, like a football player? You know, I just had a great idea for a fitness personality. Was he an athlete? Like a football player? You know, I just had a great idea for a TV show. What if they did like a Big Brother house, but you filled it with all like the fitness people and you like, you put them against each other for like who is the fittest? Battle of fit?

Yeah, it's called fit off. The combine? They do that? Like a combine situation? Well, I'm just saying like, I wouldn't say it out loud because now someone's going to take it.

I want to know if like John Basetow like is more fit than Jake. Right. They would never do it. Well, did you see there was a Netflix show called Physical 100 that was like set in, I don't know, somewhere in Asia. Oh yeah. People loved that show. Yeah.

It was cool, dude. I think it's Korea, right? Yeah. And then they have like busts of the person they made Yeah, some the person And then when you get knocked out you have to break your bust with a hammer And it was so funny seeing these buff people be all sad hitting their own bust with a hammer Right. It was the best they look at it and go I thought it was strong

I thought I had big strong hands that shows pretty good. I couldn't watch it though So Billy Mays did OxyClean. He did kaboom. He had a lot of good stuff OxyClean I think was his big hit mm-hmm. I'm gonna come Billy Mays. We got it in the laundry room right now OxyClean That's got to be still or who did the um who did the little scrub daddy or that's a shark tank convention, huh? I believe so. That thing's hot fire. Scrub daddy? Yeah.

And by the way, Vince Offer is the other guy. He looks like a psychopath. This is ShamWow guy. The ShamWow guy, yeah. He looks truly, truly, truly crazy. I remember him being, he's off putting. Is that his real name? Vince Offer? Yeah, apparently.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. His name is Vince Shlomi. I mean, Shlomi? Yeah. Huh? Shlomi the money. Wait, oh, you're right.

No, wait. His name is Offer Shlomi. Shlomi! Shlomi. So his first name was Offer. Uh? Yeah, that's sick. Offer only.

So sick. Offer Shlomi? Oh, man. So his name is Offer Shllomi that cannot be real, dude First loan better known as Vince offer or Vince shlomi. Where's this bro from what name? from Israel oh Shlomi, okay. Yeah, I hear it now now is now that now I hear it

Yeah, so he had a good run too. He did ShamWow, he did Slap Chop. Yes, exactly. That's a huge one. That's a big one. That's a big one. It's science. I mean, honestly, all you need is ShamWow,

and the fact that he also got Slap Chop is wild. It's fucking crazy. How do you go from ShamWow to damn Slap Chop? That's a run. Oh, he was a Comedy Central guy between 2 and 4 a.m. on Comedy Central. That's when they would air it. Knuckin' grandma!

Very cool. Oh, so he's our coworker. Yeah, so that's how we know him so well. Okay. Cohorts. Viacom. And you know what? On election day, this is something really cool to touch on.

Well, he should run. So, cause I just found out that Donald Trump from The Apprentice. Yes. Here we go. Yes. Is we go. Yes. Is running for president in the United States, apparently for the second time. Hold up.

Apparently he lost. He lost. And he's going to try to be the first president ever to come back after a big L. Wait, is that real? Oh, is that real? I didn't know about him. Yeah. Is that real?

Yeah. Nobody's ever sat one out and came back? No, I do not believe so. That's good trivia. That's such good trivia. So, I do not believe so. That's good trivia. That's such good trivia. So he's trying to do that. Why can't Vince Offer, who I would say is just as famous

and just as successful, I don't watch the news. Sure. Again. And he has a background with hookers, much like Donald Trump. Why doesn't he also try to be the president? Because he has a cool pedigree, Slap Chop. The guy has great ideas, you know what I mean? Right. Well, is he the inventor or is he the face of Slap Chop? He's the face. A lot

of these guys invent their own stuff. A lot of them invent it. Really? Like they patent it? Yeah, a lot of them do. A lot of them do. I don't know through is I see lawsuits here and it says the underground comedy movie was a subject of the lawsuit against 20th Century Fox and the Fairly brothers. It's a mess. The offer claimed that 14 scenes from Something About Mary were lifted from the film. Don't care. Fairly's denied this claim saying we never heard of him, we We never heard of his movie and it's a bunch of baloney So they're saying that I guess that guy made the movie the underground comedy movie and he sued

Something about Mary because they stole scenes from the movie. What the hell? No, so we did the underground comedy movie come out. First of all, I don't know. I've never heard it's so underground It came out in 1999 and something about Mary came out in 1998, I don't understand. Yeah. Okay. Well maybe the scripts could have been going around sound at the same time.

The math isn't math-ing. The math ain't math-ing. The math is not math-ing. Yeah, that's what. Okay. Isn't that a fun one to say? Wee-oo! Yeah, that's really good.

Dang, that's kinda weird, huh? Damn, wow. It kinda makes me wanna see the undergrounde-oo! Yeah, that's really good. Dang, that's kind of weird, huh? Damn, wow. It kind of makes me want to see the underground comedy movie now. Yeah, I bet it is. I promise you it's good. Vince, or sorry, Offer Shlomo. Right. Shlomi.

Shlomi. Offer Shlomi. Shlomi a good offer. You know what I mean? He wrote and directed it. Oh, this is good. You know what's crazy? Is that we just, when you're out here in LA,

trying to like make it, you meet these people. We know a version of this guy. You know what I mean? He's got like the energy and like he's ready to go. We just need some money. He's got the script. And you're like, fuck, I think this guy's gonna make this horrible movie.

Absolutely. Do I audition for it? Do I trust him? Do you know what I mean? Like, you're like, should I be in this bad movie? He's doing it. Absolutely. Do I audition for it? Do I trust him? You know what I mean? Like, you're like, should I be in this bad movie? He's doing it. Hey. They have like the, they got the gusto, they got the like... Answers yes. Answers say yes. Yeah. Me and Adam wouldn't be in Ratco if we didn't say yes to people like that. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys think those, those are nice people

or no? Good people? What people what the rat code the dictator son Were they biting prostitutes on methamphetamines or no? I remember I don't know The so Blake and I were in a national ampoon movie called rat code the dictator son. Yeah, Adam does not defend them. Yes starring um Pedro from Napoleon Efrain Ramirez Yes, starring Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. Was it Efren Ramirez? Efren Ramirez, yeah. And it was, I don't know if you could make a movie as bad as that movie.

And what sucked is when Workaholics came out when it first debuted. When Workaholics first came out and suddenly Workaholics was a hit, they went back and bought that movie. Yeah, they re-dropped it. To air after like late night after Workaholics. Yeah, they dusted that off. Yeah, this is perfect. The guys from Workaholics are in this movie.

We're going to run it. Want more? So I was so embarrassed by that because people were like, wow, Workaholics is so good. Why is this so bad? Somebody help me! It was so bad. Maybe it was like to show how good Workaholics is so good, why is this so bad? Somebody help me! It was so bad. Maybe it was like to show how good Workaholics was. Oh, OK.

Yeah, in comparison. Because I just feel like at Comedy Central, they're operating on a whole other level of like, you know. And that's why they don't even exist anymore. Right. Right. Hollywood. Hollywood! My name is Brandon Kyle Goodman.

I'm a black, gay, non-binary author, TV writer, actor, and I'm messy. But not in the way you think. Messy as in I'm human and flawed. I'm on a mission to destroy shame around sex. And the only way to do that is to talk about sex. So that's what we'll do on my brand new podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. OK, let's play this messy round of smash or pass.

OK, here it is. Smash or pass. Spit play. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about bodily fluids being on me unless it's... Oh! Ha ha ha!

Because we're doing the pullout message. We're living on the edge. Oh my god. I was not expecting that. Baby, like I always say, if you know how to work that body, that sexualness, and that heart, you're unstoppable. Embrace your power.

That's really what we're going to do on this show. Join me on Tell Me Something Messy with brand new episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Quick factoid. Yes? Drop your factoid. Just saw like an IG video that I think. What is it? Efren Ramirez? What's his name? Yeah. Efren Ramirez. Okay. He and the Napoleon Dynamite star guy are both twins. What? Huh? So like, because he's Pedro, right? Oh, oh, I thought you're saying twins with each other. I was like, what the hell? No, no, no, no, no, but like he's Pedro

from Napoleon Dynamite, right? Yeah, right, right, right. He's a twin and so is Napoleon Dynamite. They're both twins. Wow. Whoa. I knew John Hader and his brother is. Any take backs?

I'm pissed now. I knew that they were, I did not know that. That's cool. That's weird when people are twins. That's crazy. That's crazy. We talked about- Yeah, twins or growth.

Gross? Keep going. Your best friend's a twin. What's his name? The Bohemian Rhapsody guy. You're talking about Freddie Mercury? Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no. Mr. Robot.

The actual actor guy. Mr. Robot. He's a twin. Mr. Robot. What is it, Rami Malek. Yes. He's a twin. I hung out with Rami a couple of times way back in the day.

And we ran in that WME party. And I ran up behind him and grabbed his titties. And I was like, hey, buddy. I don't know what I was doing. I was on a good one. And I like cupped his titties or something like that. And just normal. You're fucking disaster, my guy.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a bad look. No. If it was him, it would have been great. Very funny. But he goes, looks at me like, what the fuck? And I'm like, hey, man, what's good?

Like, I just grabbed your titties. I thought we were friends. How are your titties? What's good? And you're looking at me like that wasn't something you wanted. Like, what's good? That's weird, dude. What's good? And you're looking at me like that wasn't something you wanted. Like, what's good? That's weird, dude. It's weird that we're at this cool holiday party and you're trying to talk to Joaquin Phoenix, but I'm grabbing your titties though. What's good? And he looked at me like, what's good? This is the way. But he said, I don't think you're looking for me. I think you're

looking for my brother. Yeah. Also not sure he would love that, but yeah, I thought he was fucking lying to me. Points across the room and there's Rami Malik. So Rami Malik, who is a very distinctive looking person, has a twin brother that is just as distinctive looking. Right. It's crazy. Yeah, it is very unique. That is pretty as distinctive looking. Right. It's crazy. Yeah, it is very unique. That is. Pretty see ya.

One of them's gotta go. I'm not gonna say which one, but whoever's letting you grab their titties stays. I'll say it, the non-famous one. Yeah. The non-famous one, cause Romy would have allowed me to grab his titties. That's all I'm saying.

He would have, yeah, he would have loved it. I know Romy. Open titties. By the two times I hung out with him briefly, he would have loved it. I know Rami open it by the two by the two times I hung out with him briefly. Yeah, would have loved you you consider green light for sneaking up behind grabbing I'm a great judge of care between those two times you actually hung out and all the times you've watched night at the museum To or whatever the fuck Between all the key now are you sorry? I'm grabbing my boys Museum Two or whatever the fuck he's in. Yeah. Ah, gotcha! Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!

Between all that. Joaquin, how are you? Sorry, I'm grabbing my boy's titty real quick. Excuse me, excuse me. Hey, you're looking for my brother, I think. Yeah, I think we've talked about Rami's twin before. I think I've told that same story. I went up to him and he was like,

no, I have a twin. And I go, oh my god, I think I'm being lied to by my face by somebody who just skyrocketed to fame. And then he pointed across the room and I go, good, good, good. You skyrocketed to fame, but you're not lying to me. Todd's memory is so good. Todd, our editor producer, audio engineer. He's got a mind like a trap.

He goes, episode 48. You're a weirdo, Todd. Yes, he goes, yes, on episode 48, you talked about this already. Freak. On episode 48, to pull that from the deep back part of his brain and just go episode 48 is unreal. That is crazy.

That's also, that is so long ago. Holy smokes. Wow, Todd. Yeah, get a life. Yeah. What number are we on? We're not on episode 420 yet, are we? No, it's two, we're 200.

Okay, as long as we didn't miss that, I would be so bummed. Episode 420 is gonna go crazy. This is episode 222. 222? 222. Too many episodes. Yeah, okay. When you guys see the Lucas Brothers.

Yes, points! Do you guys know the difference between the Lucas Brothers? Can you distinguish it? Because I always feel kind of bad. Not that I see them often, but when I do, like once a year, I'm always like kind of bad. Not that I see them often, but when I do, like once a year, I'm always like, hey man.

So Lucas Brothers, if people don't know them, they're two very funny comedians and writers now. Writers, yeah. They write some good flicks. Also very, like, distinguished looking, or not distinguished, but unique looking, style-wise. Yeah, I think theirs is more style. Rami is literally the way his face looks is very unique.

And his brother. Not Rami. Not Rami and Rami. Wee-oo! He loves that, by the way. The Lucas brothers, I think it's more style. They both wear the chunky glasses, and the hoodies that are up, and the flipped up.

They're about ready to go cycling somewhere. Sure, bike messenger status. Yeah, they got a good look. Yeah, I can't, I do not know, I like those guys, I do not know the difference between them. It's hard. I want them to like me, I think is even more

part of the problem, cause I'm always like, I want you guys to seem cool, I want you to like me, but I don't know who I'm talking to and I'm feeling bad about it. Sneak up behind one of them and grab by the titties. Grab their titties. You know, Blake, great idea. Thank you.

69, dude! And they seem like the kind of guys that would fully be into that. Honestly though, it's kind of on twins to separate themselves. You should take wilder swings to differentiate yourself from your twin. Oh, you're going to tell people how to live now?

Okay. Election day. Who should we vote for? Well, that's like our twin friends, Ako and Atiba, who I hung out with Atiba last night. You think? Ako and Atiba? You don't know. I do know. I do know because he was talking photography all the time.

Oh, okay. They both do photography. Yeah, and had a camera. It was talking photography all the time. Oh, okay. They both do photography. Yeah, and had a camera, was taking a lot of photos. Well, they both do it. No, no, not really. Not really. You'd be surprised. I think you think it's both, but you've only ever seen a T-Bug.

You'd be surprised. Kung-ne! So they also dress the same. They'll show up wearing the same t-shirt places. And you're like, yes, I know. Come on. They go to Supreme on the same day and pick out the same gear. It's like matching pajamas. It's like, come on.

The same outfit. Yeah, they can't do that. Here's the major fuck you that Atiba did. He got a tattoo that says Akko right here on his neck. So when you approach Atiba, it says Akko, and you're like, well that I think is the giveaway. There you go. Well obviously, but the first time I saw the tattoo,

because I think you got it only a few years ago, I was like, oh great, Akko got a little, nope, uh-uh. Yeah. Nope. Well Akko got, that would be weird, if you got a tattoo that said Anders on your neck, that's strange. Not if I was a twin, that'd be the best.

I get my name, my twin gets his name, so everyone knows who we are. I love it. Yeah, okay, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Yeah, that's cute. Do you see what I'm saying or do you hear what I'm saying? Yeah, I would say Atiba,

the way I always differentiate him is he always has a nice watch on. He has a Rolex. Okay. He has a Rolex. Right. Last night, he did has a nice watch on it was he has a roll Okay Last night. He did not have a Rolex on it. It threw me it threw me for a loop Okay, and I invited a teabag not a co and for a minute I thought they switched it up on me and there's no way to tell yeah, and that's fine. That'd be fun Hey, I can't make it to that party. Can you go for me for sure? Yeah, that's fine. I do it I went to the Clippers. I did this TurboTex commercial.

Yeah, okay. And so Intuit, I didn't even know this, Intuit owns TurboTex. Yeah. So the Intuit Dome where the Clippers play is owned by the parent company of TurboTex. Right. So I got four court side seats to the game last night.

That worked out. And it was incredible. The arena, it's like Bizarro land. It's like, let's go. I mean, it's like a billionaire who loves basketball created his own stadium specifically and only for basketball because the wall of fans is truly staggering. It's like scary looking. It's crazy. It's like what? It's like vertical? Like what's the deal? Yeah, it's vertical like this. They have a section that's right behind the basket that

their whole thing is there's like a band leader that leads them through all the motions to like scare people off making their free throws. It was wild. And people were breaking free throws because they're so crazy and so loud. Yeah so loud. It was really, really cool. And there's little remotes in each, on each chair that you can like vote for things. They're like, who has the best costume? And you do, you vote. The president? I'm going to come. It rates who was loudest like in your chair. So they give a prize to who is making the most noise per chair. But like, where's the microphone?

There's going to be some guy who is this whole thing as being like the loud guy. Just a blow horn in his chair? Oh yeah, you just got to get down on him and be like, ah. Yeah, but somebody's going to do it louder than you, Blake. Damn, that's going gonna create a frenzy. Someone's gonna sneak in a blow horn and just let it go in their chair the entire time. Players are just like, we don't wanna play here.

Well, it feels like a soccer game. Yeah, that's what it's sounding like. I think honestly, it feels like a soccer game where it's just like, when it's defense, it was on. I was like, oh, this is cool, because Clipper fans don't have a lot to cheer for right at all we don't come on man we don't and it's what the hell that's right we don't and so this is awesome just the stadium is enough to cheer for right James Harden the stadium is enough okay it's so cool I'm excited I'm excited it felt like a swim meet, huh? Well, um, I don't know. It's pretty cool.

It's almost like a swim meet in here. I think I've been to maybe one swim meet in high school. Yeah. Yeah, it was exactly like this two billion dollar stage. Cacophonous. Yeah, it wasn't super rowdy like that. I told you, dude! Funny how that works. Do swim meets get pretty turnt up? Do they get pretty loud?

Well yeah, I mean, cause it's just a race. So you only are cheering for however many seconds. You know what I mean? Oh yeah, so it's exactly like the $2 billion stadium. Yeah. More or less. Yeah, what do you do in between the races? Like, do you like?

NOS. You just do NOS. Or what's the galaxy gas that everybody's doing? That's the shit right there. Yeah, you just do NOS. Or what's the galaxy gas that everybody's doing? That's the shit right there. Yeah, you just do galaxy gas. Everybody's doing. I mean, hot knives. Yeah, kids are back on doing like huge cans of like whippets and stuff.

Oh, that's tight. It's a whole thing. Wouldn't want it any other way. It loops back around. Yeah, it's good. Oh, one other cool thing about the stadium before we pivot off. I love this. The Lexus Lounge. Remember I love the Lexus lounge.

Remember how shitty the Lexus lounge was at Clipper Games in the past? It was just like a curtained off kind of carpeted area. It was a curtained off. It wasn't even carpeted. It was just like a curtained off area, like where they used to like stack like old like magazines, right? Right. Oh, like old sodas and like where they keep the co2 containers and shit. They like just the Lakers like storage and then put put out some like hot dogs

hot dogs and like high tops and like hot lunch. It was not a great lounge. This lounge looks like a dope nightclub. And then the players run right, there's two lounges, and then they carton off the middle part, or they rope off rather, and the players run through. So you see them run right past you to get in and out of the stadium. It was so dope. I'm still gonna send it.

Can you offer them like, past apps? A hot dog or? Yeah, popcorns and beers. Yeah. Brioche. Harden, you wanna bite off my hot dog? He's like, give it to me. Give me that shit.

Let me gobble. Who's the star right now in the Clippers? Cause is Kawhi injured? James Harden. Yeah, yeah, Kawhi's injured. It's James Harden. Yeah. Damn it. That's okay.

I like James Harden. I like watching his big ass belly. Like there's something just cool about it. He's just like I like James Harden. I like watching his big ass belly like there's something just cool about it He's just like a freak athlete who's like I'm gonna get the shot. I'll lose the weight midway through the season I'm gonna get there. Yeah. Yeah, he he was looking pretty tight though. He wasn't looking. Oh, yeah Yeah, well you're thinking of the James Harden when he wanted to be traded from The net I believe. Oh, yeah, He kind of dumped out a little bit. Yeah, when he was in Brooklyn, he wanted to get traded.

So he gained like 30 or 40 pounds. He looked as fat as I looked at the end of the tour last year. Yeah, you guys were indistinguishable from each other. He looked like me. Yeah, I was big. He looked exactly... Yeah, that was... I was in my James Harden fat. I wanted to be traded from my own life and body.

You tried to get traded to the Shameless podcast, what was it, what's Smartless? Smartless? We're Shameless. Smartless. Yeah, we're Shameless. Yeah. We're Shameless, they're Smartless.

Goodbye, Shameless. Well, you're looking really good now, Adam. You look skinny mini. It almost goes without saying. Yeah, I wanna say, you look like you're glowing. Thank you. And so wait, should we get into this? You're back.

Oh yeah, let's get into it. You're back from Colombia. Hell yeah, baby. Medellin, Colombia. Yeah, baby. Back from, Adam was like, I'm texting this dude, he's like, the mall is off the hook. Yeah, baby back from Adam was like I'm texting this dude He's like the mall is off the hook Yeah, and he was like what about the mall so do we want to touch on the mall real quick before we get a goal?

Yes, let's get into it so Medellin Colombia, okay? Columbia my friend it was very stick and by the way, I love narcos So the entire time I only want to ask people questions about Pablo Escobar and Narcos. They're like, actually, I can't talk about that. I wish you wouldn't. You really have to refrain yourself. So that sucked that I couldn't only ask questions about Narcos.

It's just very, very nice mall, and then there's a hotel on one side, and then the two medical towers on the other side. And they have everything. Like if you want to get hair plugs or dental work or cosmetic surgery. Okie dokie. Or I'm assuming there's actual doctors in there, but like there's just posters and billboards for this shit.

Yeah. Columbia is well known for their plastic surgery, right? Isn't it like the capital of the world? I think so. They're like medical shit. I, yeah, it would make sense. Medi- And science.

They put some med in meta-ear. Med, what? Yes, points! And so this mall was just alive, dude. There was just people everywhere. On like a Tuesday afternoon, there's people everywhere. Right. With like nose coverings and shit.

A little bit. Everyone's like in recovery, walking around. Yeah, are they all like mummied up? Just butt lift no, but just like P. I think I think Amazon like it's there, but people don't get packages delivered. They go to the mall to get their shit still I love it Oh, so it was cool. There was a movie theater that was on and popping. Okay, there was There was an amusement park with roller coasters. Oh my god. Yeah, it was sick. Inside the mall. Inside the mall, yeah. Holy shit. And it was like an inside-outdoor, indoor-outdoor sort of mall situation.

Like at California High School. Was there like a water slide? I do love the idea that they're like, that they're like so yeah you've your surgeries tomorrow We're gonna do an injections or whatever You just can't go on any roller coasters and Adams is standing at the fence of the roller coaster watching it go by Should be on that honestly you joke that's exactly what happened You're just killing time you're like I could do this like're killing time, dude. And there was a there was a log ride that I was like, you've got to grab it. You're on. And also Columbia is known for a log ride. So you said there's a log ride log like a water log ride.

I love my boy. Adam brings up water log rides like what and you guys understand how like you can't pass a water log. Dude, a log ride. All right. They're the log rider. Are you kidding me? They're the best. Log rides, yes. They're the best.

You're not going to loop. Yeah, you got a big drop guaranteed. And guess what? The hotel's right there. So you can get wet. You can go home. You can change. You could come back again.

You can get wet. You can go back. You can change. You can run a mustache. It's all good. It's all good. Yes. They also had, and I never got up to it,

because it was super far away from my hotel. It was like a 20 minute walk from my hotel. But I got there once just on an exploratory mission. The coolest arcade I've ever seen. It was like an acre of arcade. I love that. I love arcades. It was so dope. And they have arcades cause again, it seems like they want people out of the house. They want people out shopping, playing arcade games, not at home, just farting around. I guess. Yeah, I guess so.

So it's a social society. Isn't that fun? Remember that guys? I used to love arcades. Dude, it was, it was awesome. There was families out together. There were old men. Perfect society. There was families out together. There were old men. Perfect society. There was old men chilling, like drinking coffee together. Describe the old men. Like imagine if we actually hung out in real life.

Okay. I'm trying to. At your daughter's birthday. Sure. Imagine we hung out in real life. Yeah, tomorrow. And we all sipped coffee together at a mall. How fun would that be? Oh, another bummer, you're not allowed to drink coffee.

This is decaf. Not allowed to drink coffee. The biggest mug of decaf. Well, there's just a little in it. But yes, I have like 11 cups of decaf. I can't believe you're a decaf guy. Now we gotta get into that next book. Go ahead.

Yeah. Well, if you get good coffee, it's still pretty good. It's a little watery, but it's still pretty good. But Columbia is known for their coffee, coffee and cocaine. And I couldn't do either, dude. Right. Friendship. What?

Is Don Francisco from Columbia? I think it's a lot. That's possible. Anyway. Possible. The doctor said no cocaine Yeah, he said no cocaine. That's weird. Yeah, weird to me. Was that a thing for you? Oh, yeah, that was really hard Truthfully I've never been a big cocaine guy so that was that was fairly that was fairly easy Yeah, luckily I feel like you reeled that in and you could have gone down a real

coke road, but luckily it wasn't. As any of us could, it's not like I ever had cocaine or did it really. You could have had a real cocaine guy. Why are you putting that on me? I just know, because you kind of feel like a 90s,s like 80s power business guy you have like the wheeling and dealing attitude I'm a little more of a laid-back guy You know you're more like you know out there, baby. Come on. Let's go right yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that I get that and I do feel if it were the 80s before like you knew how And I do feel if it were the 80s before like you knew how Horrific cocaine was for you and how everyone just sort of died all your comedy heroes just kind of died. I feel if it were

1985 I would have been a big cocaine guy. Yeah Not wrong you're not yeah, thank you, but luckily I never never got into it. Yeah, I'm hyped on that. I'm a meth boy. Right. I'm a galaxy gas guy. As all of my teeth fall out of my skull. I just want to party. Yeah, baby. Yeah, so the mall was sick.

And I missed malls. And then also this clinic, Bio Accelerator, which is the clinic that I got the stem cells in, was dope. It was immaculate. Everyone was so nice. They had, I did all the other, like not only did I get 350 million stem cells injected into me.

What? I... That many babies? Just one, one baby. It's one baby? Well, it's one umbilical cord. It's not a baby. Okay, okay.

You're not killing a baby. Yes, but the reason that you can't even do this process in the the states is because of like... Freaking Kamala! Because of Kamala right? Yeah it has to be because of Kamala. So today's the day! It has to be because of Kamala. So today everything changes because we went to the the voting booth and we put in. No, in fact, I think Trump would be the one because he's trying to get, do like a pro, pro life stance, right? Yes.

I don't think it has to even be an aborted baby. I think it can be a baby. And then the parents are like, and we're going to sell the umbilical cord. Yeah, that's right. But that's the weird thing. Why is, why, why are people up in arms about that? It's just weird red tape in America a regulation my man. Yep That's crazy. I want no rules. So anyway, so I don't I don't really know but yeah in Columbia

They're like your cord blood. I'm glad we touched on it. Mm-hmm. It's fun to touch on they're like let's fucking party You know, yeah, and so I got him in my knees. I got him in my hips. I got shots in my back I got posting in your crack two shots in my back I got a lot of back shots got a lot of back Multiple back shot. Wait, you were taking back shot. How do you I took several back shots? Probably what probably like six seven inches What back shots I took several back shots. I mean, probably what? Probably like six, seven inches. What back shots I took.

Yeah. I probably took back shots about this big, about six, seven inches. Hang loose. They gave me, uh, they gave me gas. I was knocked out and then they gave me the back shots. Okay. So you weren't, you got that Cosby. Oh, it said it would penetrate me too

deeply. Right. So they put you, they put you out and then like, you got that baby reindeer for the, oh dude, hilarious. My Siri just goes, I didn't get that. Could you try again? My Siri, say it backshots, local backshots, going to your favorite website back shots. Going to your favorite website, back shots. So they put me under only for the back shots. And then I also got shoots legit in my glutes, in my top of my, shoots in the glutes? Shoots in the glutes. Okay, the boots with the fur.

Did anybody at the mall think you had gotten a Brazilian butt lift? And you were like, actually? Yeah, they were like, dude, look at that bro's ass. That's Nebraska-born. No, no, dude, because these Colombians, they all- That's the Pizza Hut guy. It's Domino's.

They all, if you're gonna come on my ass like that, you're gonna come on my ass like that. You have to come correct. Okay? Okay, it was Domino's. Oh. So don't come on my ass like that. Okay, my bad, Domino's. I'm gonna come. For sure. I won't come on your ass. Foul again. I was Domino's. So don't come on my ass like that. Okay, my bad. Domino's. I'm gonna come.

I won't come on your ass. Foul again. I will always come correct when I come on your ass. Come correct if you're gonna come on my ass. All right? If we're talking back shots, it was Domino's. It was a Domino's commercial that I was fired from because my ass was too large. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. BBL. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. BBL. My name is Brandon Kyle Goodman. I'm a black, gay, non-binary author, TV writer, actor, and I'm messy. But not in the way you think. Messy as in I'm human and flawed. I'm on a mission to destroy shame around sex. And the only way to do that is to talk about sex.

So that's what we'll do on my brand new podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. OK, let's play this messy round of Smash or Pass. OK. OK, here it is. Smash or Pass, spit play. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about bodily fluids being on me,

unless it's... Oh! Ah! Because we're doing the pullout message. We're living on the edge. Oh my god! I was not expecting that. Baby, like I always say, if you know how to work that body, that sexualness, and that heart, you're unstoppable.

Embrace your power. That's really what we're going to do on this show. Join me on Tell Me Something Messy with brand new episodes every Thursday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. No, these Colombians, dude, first of all, these Colombians always a good way to start a sentence. These Colombians, very sexy, very sexy population.

Do not come. Of course. I think they're well known for being the sexiest on the planet. Well known for how sexy they were. Yeah, they're very sexy women and also some cool, cool dudes with a lot of machismo. Oh, you stepped right out of machismo. A lot of machismo. You stepped to the pile of machismo. Okay, I like that. Yeah, it was cool to see them strutting around the mall

with their hot babes. I was like, this is a cool scene right here. Yeah. God, lucky you. When men were men, you know? They should have. Colombian, my friend. And if we could just describe machismo.

You know machismo when you see it. Yes. But if you had to use words, what are these words? Machismo? Machismo. Is it confidence? Let's go! Suave. Yeah.

Like, it looks like- Is it strong or is it just- No, it's not necessarily strong. Fluid, like fluid kind of like, is it loose or is it- Okay. Like fluid kind of like is it loose or is it okay? Well these guys specifically It seemed like they like had mousse in their hair Okay mousse cheese mousse, you know how like that that that that wet kind of nice wet Pompadourian a pushback like is that yeah. Mm-hmm, right

It looked like they like moistened their skin. Or maybe it was just a little dewy, but it seemed like, and then they, there was a lot of gold, a lot of gold being dripped. Of course. Of course. Okay. But by the way, I was told that's only in the mall.

Like I wore my watch. Cause if you go outside, you'll get jacked? Yeah, it's very possible you could get jacked. Okay. If you leave the mall, you'll get jacked. Hello! And we left the mall multiple times and we were going to this... I posted, I think in my stories, we went to Commune 13,

which was kind of ground zero for the gang wars during Pablo Escobar's reign. Oh, my goodness. There was like, they said that there was invisible lines, like you would cross from one area into the next, and you're just walking through a neighborhood and suddenly a new gang is in control there and if they don't know you they kill you like that. Right. It's a good thing you're world famous. You just be like modern family and every gang is like, oh, you're the many. I was very famous there.

And I think it was because of Modern Family, because they love Sofia Vergara. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's Colombian, yeah. Is she? Wow. What a ledge. Yeah.

So thanks, Sofia. Are you talking about her ass? What a ledge. What a ledge. Didn't she make a movie about being like a drug czar or something? She had like a fake nose and stuff? I think it was Grisel or Griselda.

Yeah, it was that. I got to look into that. Dude, you didn't watch it. Are you not up to date on all your Narcos? I'm rewatching Narcos again. I've never seen Narcos. I'm so sorry. I couldn't get into it. I'm so sorry.

That was kind of boring. And then I turned out. You're hurting Adam's feelings, man. Well, no, I'm trying to, but I'm also like leveling the playing field for you so you don't go in with too high expectations. Well, I imagine it's good because people love you. You're welcome. Like, thank you, Ders. Thank you for standing up for me by... It's kind of shitty. You're welcome.

Taking it down a peg. It's not. It's not shitty. It's so good. People love Narcos. Yeah, I'm sure it's good. I understand that I understand that it's so good Uh, it's awesome. It's truly. Yes. I was I think I would enjoy and Griselda was she was the I believe she was Colombian, but she lived in Miami and she sort of took over She was like the drug huge drug connect in Miami and she Was known as the black widow and she would like kill everyone. Okay, I saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I remember that documentary

That was wait in Miami in Miami. Oh, yeah. She was like the cocaine grandma with the cool hats. Yeah And Sophia Vergara was playing her. Yeah. Yeah, it was a bizarre casting choice, but I think they were like, yeah Well, who's a she'll get it made she'll get it made. Yeah. Who's a Colombian? Who's a Colombian actress? And there was one person and then they're like, all right, well, we'll give her a funny nose. All right. Cause she was a little more like husky. Still had little short. She had swagger, but like she had her machismo. Feminine brand of machismo. Right. What is feminine machismo? Just. I think that's it. You can't go both machismo? Machismo. Feminine brand of machismo. Right, what is feminine machismo? Just... I think that's...

That isn't anything. Machismo go both ways. Machismo. Machismo, there it is, thank you. There it is, thank you. The linguist of the crew. Thank you, Blake. I don't like you guys telling me to show my tits.

You know, Adam, I also spend a little time in a kind of a hospital of sorts. Okay, really? Every few years I get these little milia thing, they're like little white dots around your eyelid. You know what I'm talking about? Oh sir, I don't like it. Yeah.

If you're listening and you're in your 30s or 40s, you know what I'm talking about. They're like just like little white dots. And they're like calcium building. I don't know what the fuck they are. They're called milia. And so I went, I've gotten like. A milia, milia, milia.

I've gotten like scraped out. And so I went, I've gotten them like, I've gotten them like scraped out before. So I went back. So is Blake the only healthy one of our crew? Is that what's happening? You're the only one with that weird jaw? No, his dick is purple. My dick looks really bad. Oh, why?

I'm fine. My dick's not purple. I mean, yeah. Blake, what's wrong with your dick? I don't know. I'm getting back shots constantly to figure out what's wrong, but Just the doctor's say I gotta come back. I gotta come back a lot. So I gotta come back Yes, yes come back correct

But so I go I go in and get these things Before they just like I've cut like a little hole out and they like wiggle out and it's like a little I don't know It's like a deposit. It's like a little I don't know it's like a deposit It's like a little deposit. What it's just okay Oh like it's like a white head or something that like won't come out. It just is in there And so I go back and I'm like, hey, like I got these little things and they go. Yeah, come on in It just takes a few minutes they Have this pen

That's like holding a flame to your skin and they're doing it on my eyelid and I'm going, oh! And she goes like, are you okay? I go, that's really hot. Can you stop being a pussy? Essentially. And I was like, I thought you guys like just kind of opened it with a blade and like wiggled it out

and she goes, no. I go, okay. Wait, she said it like that? Dude, I was getting some dude. She was fun and cool, but I was like, no. I don't like it. This hurts. It'd be like if you took a lighter

and just took it to your eyelid and held it there. That sounds like a terrible idea. Well, for sure, but maybe you were being a little bit of a bitch because she sees this done a lot. Every day. Yes Oh, and so I'm assuming oh, yeah, the bitch other people don't handle themselves like this. Yeah But I don't know how they wouldn't because it was just like she was just burning my eyelid

That's insane. Well, maybe this is what we finally found out how you're a bitch and this is the yeah finally and we finally found out how you're a bitch. And this is the- Yeah, finally. Because- Bitch a bitch! There are many ways that I am a bitch. Fire on your eyes, you're a bitch. I think that there's- You put a little fire on your eyes and you're a bitch? Yeah, if you look into my eyelid.

I think that bitch an asshole is a spectrum, right? And we all fall somewhere on the spectrum. You're definitely on a spectrum. But dude, tonight, come over and let me just like, put a flame to your eye socket. Put some fire on it. Right.

I'm good on that. So I didn't, you sound like you had an okay experience. I'm now, I'm like, never gonna do this again. Yeah, I mean the shots were pretty gnarly. Can you get your eyelids up to the camera a little closer? Can we just see? Well, do you see them still? Well, they're gone.

Yeah, like do you have scars or? Oh yeah, it's a little red there. You can see it's like red. It looks red, it looks purple. Ugh! I mean your eyelid looks insane. Why is it looking? We need that freeze frame.

You know when they do the YouTube and it's freeze frame? That's gotta be honors because that looks really good. Why does your, that skin look like, you know how like when you take your four skin and you stretch it out just to see what it looks like? Donkays! Who? Yeah. When someone does that?

Yeah, I have three kids, or three boys, go ahead. Every day is like, look, it's a transformer! I'm like, been there, done that, nothing changes. Oh, you ever seen the Loch Ness monster that's right that's what your eyelids look like yeah I think that when I was a kid I think I don't know if I told you guys this I was in an accident I had my dick skin put over my eyes yeah I knew that about you I did know that didn't I tell you I feel like I told you guys is that the first time I said this in the pod I feel like I've told the story yeah yeah that's

weird no 222 Todd Todd was that episode of what was it that 43 64 I told you guys is that the first time I said this in the pod I feel like I've told the story Yeah, yeah, we're not Todd was that episode of what was it that 43 64 my eyeballs are actually testicles. Yeah interesting 69 Your boobs are huge hey Todd guess what are these your first points? Yes, points. He's like, actually, episode one hundred and twenty. Yeah. Don't let it go to your head now, Todd. Yeah. So I got to do I think I'm going to be a medical tourist. I think I'm going to be a medical tourist because

it's pretty fun. You go down there and you take care of yourself. Right. I did a thing called ozone therapy. That's where it takes your blood out of you. It spins it around. It gets like oxygen in it If you're watching the YouTube video Adam says it spins it around and he looks up What spins it around and is this like well, that's because where I was sitting it takes it out

And then it puts it in this little thing and it's right it around like a fucking science martini or some shit I just picture like a another carnival ride that that you couldn't go on but it's just the homeboy just shaking that shit Well, there's a machine the homeboy. He set it up. Yeah, it's a thing. It's called a Centrifugal or some shit. It's Burke writer huge the machine is yeah, but It wasn't as aggressive as the centrifuge Okay The machine is just, yeah. But it wasn't as aggressive as the centrifuge. Okay. Or maybe it is, but it's just a little different

than the one I did in the States. And then they shoot it back into you, which was cool. And then I did a hyperbaric chamber, did that a few times. Really? And that I can't tell you. And what is that? That's just what Michael Jackson slept in? That's, they like pump oxygen in it.

So you're you're getting like 100% pure oxygen. Right. Yeah. That's what MJ slept in. All right. What what does that how's that feel? Does it like smell different? Is it? No, it was totally fine. And you just watch Netflix. I finally watch a Jurassic, one of those new Jurassic Park movies. Wow. Wow. The amount of Chris Pratt.

Which one did you watch? The newest one, I think, and The amount of Chris Pratt. Which one did you watch? The newest one, I think. And the amount of Chris Pratt. Dominion or whatever? Yeah, I think so. That one is wild. The one of Chris, I mean, Chris Pratt, the amount of times he just sees a dinosaur

and goes, shh. Yeah. Shh. And sticks his hand out and they just get quiet. Yeah. They've also tried to brand, he has like a dive roll thing that they've now like branded as like his move in those movies where he like dives,

rolls and like pops up. Pops up, yes. I noticed that. He like has to do that in every movie now. And I'm like, what? But also, who cares? Who cares? I noticed that was funny you said that because

when he did that, there was like a special camera move that made me go like, oh, is this like a thing? Like that made it such a big deal. When like you've seen, I mean, Walker Texas Ranger did that in about every goddamn episode. Hold up. Thank you. Thank you. Finally. If you're getting out there, vote today. Vote for who you think Chuck Norris would vote. Finally. Thank you, Adam. And if you're getting out there to vote today. Vote for who you think Chuck Norris would vote for. Any take backs? Any apologies? Any effort slams? I mean, I would love to just compliment you, Adam, on bringing the real Walker Texas Ranger to the forefront.

You're right. Walker did it first. Dude, you know what I just found out? I have direct TV at my Hollywood house. I have it. Hold up. I've been paying for this for years. So I just watched TV. I watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger or at least a few minutes of it.

Lucky. Holds up. Yeah. No, pretty bad. But wait a minute. But in a good, in a fun way, you know, hold up. That's the one where he's like, Walker, I have AIDS, right? That's the yeah. Yeah. Haley. I think it's Haley is it Haley Joel Osman yeah no no

yeah is it is it no isn't it no I don't know uh yeah I thought it was I think you're right it might be I don't know I don't know Adam gave up I'm waiting for Todd to fucking weigh in he's like hey I like, hey, I have AIDS. It's like a really, it's a good read. Hey, Walker, I have AIDS. Do I, is it, do I have AIDS or is it I have AIDS? Yeah! I think it's I have AIDS. Regardless.

Paul Cogan has a really good Walker text. If we could just ISO each of us saying I have AIDS. Dude, no, that was the Will Smith movie, I have AIDS. Oh. No, that's I Am Legend. Give me a hell yeah. I, oh yeah. It really went up the ladder in Hollywood saying, yeah, I Have AIDS is a great title.

I don't know if you guys know this, but that is what the movie originally was. It was called I Have AIDS and it was like a zombie movie and then they found out, it was written in the 80s because they thought it was gonna turn into that kind of Pandemic yeah, okay and wrote that one, but then they dialed it back and they were like oh turns out They don't turn into zombies as far as we know right right right what if we just said it's called I am legend and Will Smith was like I don't like I don't love it

I liked it the old way, but okay apparently it was Haley Joel Osment which uh yeah It was so apologies to me. You're so is that your take back dude. Do you feel like? Fuck it. I would like to take that back Um I want to apologize for doing the pod this early and having my face Look like this after the day after Halloween man Well, at least you got the fucking weird the weird shit off your eyes Jesus Christ it's not weird it's very common it's very common we didn't even get into a let's save it we'll get into Halloween next

week after it's several week passed well okay and by by the net next week we'll know who our president is and he's gonna it it's a bright future everybody right well we won't know we won't know because we're about to do another podcast so we won't thank you Adam yeah welcome to a bright future everybody unless you know something I don't know are you burning those ballot boxes over there Bernie I'm a Bernie guy okay that makes sense for you yeah all right and that was that's another episode of This Is Important. There's no place in America the president shouldn't be able to come.

There you go. Dude, where did you find this rendition? It's the first one that came up. My name is Brandon Kyle Goodman. I'm a black, gay, non-binary author, TV writer, actor, and I'm messy. But not in the way you think. Messy as in I'm human and flawed. I'm on a mission to destroy shame around sex.

And the only way to do that is to talk about sex. So that's what we'll do on my brand new podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. Join me on Tell Me Something Messy with brand new episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.