This Is Important - Ep 232: Oozing With Ad Hoc Pejoratives

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Today, this is what's important: LA fires, a kangaroo court, conspiracy theories, comments from our fans, pimp culture, drug dealing memories, the Super Bowl, & more. Prayers up to our family and friends in Los Angeles! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The losing coach should have to eat a jar of mayo or get douched with mayo. Sir, I work down in the basement. I'm not doing this. I gotta go eat my cum. I built a whole career on the goof. Buckle up. Ow! OK, let's go. Ow! Oh, maybe we're not getting casual.

Guess who's back? Back again. Adam, do you have something to tell us? Oh, shit. Oh, you're thinking that with these explosives right here? Oh, Adam is starting with his visual right now. He's showing his muscles. With these explosive guns,

I know what you're gonna say, Ders, you're gonna say, I started the fires, and that would be inappropriate. Don Cain! With these explosive guns, that would be inappropriate. With all this fucking gunpowder packed in here, nice and tight, that'd be inappropriate to say that. Let me just say, I wouldn't say it,

but goddamn, I'm thinking it. Yeah. Holy shit. Wait, ooh! I know what you were thinking thinking dude, and that's inappropriate Inappropriate We're not gonna make light of it We don't want to we don't we do not want to joke about it But I think maybe you did the thing about when tragedy strikes if you joke about it a lot of people think that that that that

Would be helpful to get through but then some people don't think that. And are those people idiots and assholes? Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay. And are those people maybe dealing with trauma and they should get better help? Possibly. Possibly.

Nice segue. Yeah. 10% off this is. 10% off using this is. Get them. That being said. Did you guys have to to I had to evacuate my Hollywood house yeah yeah it was a you know scary shit dude were you there I

wasn't there luckily I was out of town and you had to evacuate a house I was not well we had to we got the evacuation notice I was literally it's a little more different I was literally telling my friend I was like sounds like maybe you started yeah it sort of sounds like I started it but I didn't know what I mean not to make light of it not to make light, but I didn't start it started I pretty sure Blake did since he's being so quiet right now. I'm pretty sure Blake started it I'm just giving you the floor man. Go for it brother. You got this. Mm-hmm. You're just the Watching the it's the scariest fucking thing ever when just watching

The fire encroach on your house. Like just going like, okay, now it's only like, it's only 10 acres and then it goes to 50 acres. Then it's like 75 acres or whatever it was. And you're like, oh, get, get, get, slow down. Yeah, it's a very helpless feeling. It's very hopeless and helpless. The way you stepped it out actually helps me visualize it because it is like, it's like 10, it's a very helpless feeling. It's very hopeless and helpless. The way you stepped it out actually helps me visualize it.

Because it is like, it's like 10, it's like 25, it's like 75, then it's like, geh, geh, geh, geh, geh, geh, geh. And then it gets to the geh, geh, geh, geh. Not to make light of it. Yeah, not to make light of it. Yeah, I mean, for anybody tuning in, as you may or may not know, we all survived the fires. Our houses are all fine.

We are very lucky in that way. I mean, and we all know people. We have friends that lost a... By the way, so far... Yeah, it's not over. We're definitely not out of it. We know for sure like a dozen people who've lost their house. If not more. That's just personal. Did I ever tell you guys the story about when Liam Hemsworth told me he lost his house?

This is years ago. This is- In Australia during those fires? No, no, no. It was during the Malibu fires. He was still with, what's her name? Party in the USA. Popo Sal!

Miley Cyrus. Miley. Miley. He was with her at the time and we were doing press for Isn't It Romantic and there was a little bathroom, like a little side bathroom that only Cass could use and I was in there taking a shit and there was just the toilet, the shitting toilet and then a urinal and he came in and I'm taking a shit and the urinal is there and I'm, oh, what's up Liam? He could see that it was me and he's like, he's like, oh hey mate Yeah, we hadn't catched up yet. We hadn't seen each other yet

and We're catching up. It was catching and so man let's catched up real quick. So that's Ozzy. That's Ozzy so he was like You know, what's up? And I'm like, you know not much. How are you doing? He's like, ah, not good mate We'd lost the house in Malibu. I remember I remember hearing about this now. Yeah, not this story, but the house I was like, oh my god, man. I am so sorry. That really sucks. And he was like, yeah, and he's kind of starting to tell me about it and And he was like, yeah, and he was kind of starting to tell me about it and I'm holding in a shit at this time at this point. Oh fucking disaster my guy I'm like, I don't want to like just drop a deuce

So I'm like kind of holding it in and it kind of sucks back up in there You know, right and so I didn't want to like drop it out one in the middle of the story But then what happened was you're on the toilet. I'm currently taking a shit I was shitting so he's speaking to you over the door or through the door through the door he's pissing through the through the door no come on Blake is that how you do it Blake over the door you like eye contact yeah like mr. like Wilson from home improvement for sure yes yeah thank you yeah I can see whoa I think I just had an earthquake here really yeah Nate okay, man, real quick. That was kind of crazy. Huh great. Let's have an earthquake on this fire

Yeah, this is add let's come that or I just is the something weird just happened in my brain Maybe your body body just shivered. Yeah, maybe I don't know that was fucking weird It could have been my body because no it is on bro take creatine I should but so anyway so so this so my asshole took the shit and it sucked it back up into my body and so I'm sitting there trying to be respectful and listening to his story but I am on the toilet and then I mean he's asking his heart out telling me about it and I'm you know being I'm gonna put him on the toilet and then I mean he's asking for it When he's pouring his heart out telling me about it and I'm letting him tell me all this stuff

You're allowed I'm letting him Yes, you're allowed Dude, the loudest little squeaker just came out of my body Like it was like, it just goes Yeah Wow And it just goes yeah

And he just goes Did you say the loudest little squeaker? Yeah, it was like I didn't hear anything. Well. It's like a dog whistle. Oh you didn't hear There it was and And he was like what the fuck mate, and I'm like I'm so sorry dude I'm on the toilet, and he's like, I'm telling you, but my house is burning down. And I felt horrible. I felt bad. But you know, what can you do?

Well, I mean, it's too, you are in the stall, so. I was currently shitting, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I feel like both have valid points. I see both sides of this story. I mean. Yeah, I bet you want to.

I bet you want to, dick in his hand. Sicko. That is a horrific feeling to lose your house. You know what I mean? That's terrible. Yeah. You know what's funny? We didn't have to evacuate,

but Emma did to kind of just get ahead of it. And she was like, what do you want me to grab? I'm in Australia. Yeah, man. I'm just like fucking going. And she's like, what do you want me to grab? I'm in Australia. I'm just like fucking going. And she's like, what do you want me to grab? I'm like, the boys. Just, I don't care.

Who gives a fuck about like. Did you say grab them boys? Grab them boys. That's what I said, thank you, yes. I forgot you were. Older. Conference damn. That would be cool.

But looking back, cause I'm like, I got all these fucking shoes. I got all this like stuff that I like, blah blah blah, like fangs, right? Nah. But I just, in the moment, I was like, I don't care, who cares, go just get out, you know, get their little lovies so they got their thing, and hit the road, Jack. I'm married to a man named Jack. Yeah, people are like, are you going to try to make it back up there when we were being evacuated? People were like, are you gonna try to make it up there?

First of all, I'm not gonna drive up there through fires as people are trying to exit. That would be a problem. To like grab shit. I'm like, first of all, no. But then, and then also you hear people on the news being like, I'm sure people are going in their homes, grabbing things, getting important documents. I'm like, what documents are people grabbing? Well, what documents? Emma got all of our children's birth certificates, our social security cards, our passports.

Okay, proof of identity and all that kind of stuff, Adam. Is that what you grab? I feel like this is more of an educational moment than a like... What are we talking about? Who cares about documents? We're all humans Like I I honestly didn't know what I other than your passport. Yeah passport. Yeah, I'm like other than that I'm like a birth certificate you can get in like a week Chloe's done it Oh, dude, damn no, dude, cuz what if you run for president and they're asking to see your birth certificate

Oh, oh shit birther shit. They got to think it for president and they're asking to see your birth certificate? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Damn. You gotta think it. Like, I know it's crazy to have to think, and I don't want to make light of this. So if I was trying to run for, don't make light of it, if I was trying to run for president, and the running for president, the paperwork had to be in next week, and I couldn't then get the paperwork because... Right. But these are the things you have to consider during these sort of situations. Not to make light of it.

I saw a lot of people taking their wedding photos because that's like shit you can't get back, I guess. Yeah, Emma grabbed like our prom photos, which I thought was cute AF. Dude, that's cute. Yeah, that is cute. I feel like all of our stuff is just digital. It's just so digital now.

Exactly, that's why modern day photo books, it doesn't matter, cause we got them all on the phones. Yeah. Yeah, I got like a tub of photos from back in the day that maybe I would grab that. That would be- You have a tub?

Oh, like a Rubbermaid thing. Yeah, the Rubbermaid full of old... We have a Rubbermaid. They still around? I wanna say Rubbermaid is still going strong. I would hope so. I feel like you should be the spokesperson for Rubbermaid, Blake.

I am the maid. I am the Rubbermaid. Yeah. Oh, shit. Dude, a butler made of rubber. Holy shit. I'm actually really into this, and this is a good pitch, and we've been looking for a sponsor for Blake.

Okay, let's go. High and low. It's Rubbermaid? Yeah. It's Rubbermaid. I can't say it, but. BuzzBall came and went. BuzzBall.

Yeah, they moved on. They didn't treat you right. They didn't treat you right. They paid you $11. Yeah. You did an unbelievable job Thank you. promoing them. You took them to, they were a nothing company,

and then they sold it for, it was a crazy number, it was hundreds of millions of dollars. And they gave you nine of those dollars. Yeah, I know. Well, they gave me some free buzz balls. They gave me a lot of free buzz balls. Oh, cool. No.

Liquid cancer. In fact, we asked for free buzz balls and they wouldn't give them to us on multiple occasions. A few times on the tour, but a lot of times we had a lot of buzz balls on tour, which we didn't purchase, so I will shout them out for that. Do you think you could sue buzz balls if you stepped on one, it rolled,

and you broke your arm or your neck? Perfect. Are you intoxicated? Because it's filled with alcohol, so they and you like, broke your arm or your neck. Perfect. Are you intoxicated? Cause it's filled with alcohol, so they know you're gonna be drinking and if you step on one and it rolls, that's their fault, right? No.

I think you have a case. Adam, you're a horrible lawyer then. I was intoxicated. No, come on. You can sue anyone for anything. Now I like where you're going. There we go. You can sue anyone for anything. Now I like where you're going. There we go. You could sue anyone for anything.

Now I feel like most judges that won't fly in their courtroom, in their courtroom. We could take it probably to like one of those televised, like Judge Judy. I bet she'd have a hell of a time with that. That'd be fun. Being in Australia, what is a kangaroo court? Have you guys ever heard someone say that?

Oh, yes. Why do they call that? What is a kangaroo court? Have you guys ever heard someone say that? Oh, yes. Why do they call that? What is the... I think that just means like a fake ass court, like a banana republic. Right, like a bush league. Why are they bringing kangaroos into this? What's up with that? I don't know.

I think that's rude. This is the way. Now is that sort of a slam on Australian court system? Maybe. I think it could be. Yeah, it's like it's a slam on Australian court system? Maybe. I think it could be. It's like a fucking kangaroo court. That's very possible.

There are Australians like, oh mate, what the fuck mate? I do a great impression of, as you guys have seen, I do a great Australian person. Kangaroo court is an informal pejorative term for a court. Blake knows what pejorative means. Blake, explain what pejorative term for a court. And Blake knows what pejorative means. Blake, explain what pejorative means. I want to say it's similar to performative, but it's pejorative. Oh, it's similar.

It's similar. It's similar. Yeah, pejorative term for a court that ignores recognized standards of law or justice, carries little or no official standing in the territory within which it resides and is typically Convened ad hoc Now I get it yeah that made it yeah, what the hell

So it's just like it So this is just like your uncle on the block who kind of run shit and And he's like, we'll go to Uncle Joe, he'll straighten shit out. And you go to him and he's like, I'm the law in these parts. I understand what it is. I wanna know why we're bringing kangaroos into this. Why don't they call it goofy court?

Yeah, why don't we call it goofy court? Why is it kangaroo court? I see what you mean. And by the way, ad hoc, do we know what that means at all? I feel we do and I'd love if Blake explained it. Ad hoc? That's short for something.

He was the fourth Beastie Boy. Ad hoc, absolutely. Okay. He was out there. Ad hoc toa. There's something in there. Yes, Blake. Oh damn.

Ad hoc toa. Yeah, what is ad hoc? I have no clue what ad hoc is. Oh, Blake, but you're supposed to make pretend that you do know. Ad hoc, it sounds like something at the Renaissance Fair. Just tell us it's Latin for something. It is, it's Latin, it's a Latin phrase for this,

or for this situation. For spit on that thing, you gotta add some hoc to it. Ad hoc to. It's Latin, it's when a Latina For spit on that thing, you gotta add some hawk to it. Add hawk to it. It's Latin, it's when a Latina spits on that thing, add hawk. Okay, okay. It's science. I'm liking that.

We're just connecting the tissue here. I love it, baby. In these trying times. I guess it's, for goofy cord, I guess it is sort of, like, kangaroos are the goofiest fucking animals. You know what I mean? If we're talking just like goofy ass animals.

They are pretty stupid. They have a silly name. They're a silly name. They're pretty goofy. They're just this like weird sort of... They got hands, bro. Like sort of... Well, I think they're really cool. I'm not saying. I'm goofy as fuck. I love goofy things. Okay.

I built a whole career on the goof. You know? Okay. My whole life is a goof, dude. Life's a goof and then you die. Okay. I'm not shitting on goof, okay? I'm not shitting on goof man I'm not shitting on goof. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you might have started the fire with that an attitude like that You know okay? Yeah, not to make sure sure Don't make light of it, but if you make light of

The goof then you might have started the fire The goof is in the pudding the goof is in the pudding. The goof is in the pudding, well said. No points. There we go. No points. I was hoping nobody heard that. Who cares? No, but kangaroos are goofy ass animal, dude.

They're like, they look sort of like bears, but then they... Bear. Like maybe a little bit. Stand up, they've got a big ass. They do have a huge, huge jump in the trunk. Like a huge donker, they're all beefed up. I imagine there's a dude at every boxing gym

that looks, that's like kind of brain dead and cross-eyed, but jacked, who, that's what kangaroos look like, the one guy at the gym who can't really fight anymore but is jacked and is like. Yes, yeah, that's exactly right. And then, just like a big old donker. Yeah, huge ass.

Got a divine donk on. Lots of butt. Lots of butt back there. And they got the tail of a rat. And did you know? Because I'm out here with them. I see them. They're around. Yeah, you're still in Australia. It's crazy. No, you don't. Yes. Gotcha, bitch! You see them around?

Yes. Like it's a squirrel? You just see a fucking kangaroo chillin you're in a city, right? Sorry, they're not in the city But when I drive to the stages I see them like just on the side of the route like or side of the road Is it rubbing off on you are you saying round, Roud? Something's rubbing off on me. Dude, it, okay. Tell me more. Just too many nights in a hotel here.

So what I'm saying is they're around. They're not as prevalent ad hoc as squirrels. Sure. But they're about, you see them as much as you would see, like... A cow? A deer? More than a deer. A coyote coyote more than a coyote because you see them every day But you just don't seem like squirrels so like something between that huh?

I don't know if there exists something like that here. Maybe a hawk anyway a hummingbird hummingbird A hummingbird. A hummingbird. Wow. I'm so stoked I came up with that. A brain mantis. You see hummingbirds at least once a week, and I'm saying you see kangaroos like that out here, and they rest on their tail like it's a third leg.

Yeah. Which is just fucking weird. Well first of all, where I live, I don't see hummingbirds once a week. That's a... Really? That's too bad. Upgrade your lifestyle, bro. Yeah, I think you need more flowers. I don't see hummingbirds once a week. That's a... Really? That's too bad. Upgrade your lifestyle, bro. Yeah, I think you need more flowers. I don't know, I live on the water.

Yeah, there's not a lot of hummingbirds right here. Is it worth it if there's no hummingbirds? Yeah, there's dolphins. That's cool. There's dolphins. So they're like dolphins. So you see dolphins about every day? Kangaroos are the dolphins of land.

Yeah, I would say. I see a lot of dolphins. Or like the seals that come up on your docks. Seals! That's it. Sea lions. I don't know the difference, but people do get angry around here

if you call them seals, and they're like Sea lions. And you're like, okay. They both suck, right? Is that because there's a lot of military people who are like, show to like Navy Steals? These are Steel Lions? Yeah, they smack me in the face and say stolen valor. Stop it!

There's a lot of recording artists. Oh yeah, that's my first thought when I think of Steel. It's a kiss from the rose. It's the Batman Forever soundtrack. Yeah. Good U2 song on there, very strong. ["The Daily Show Theme"] Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

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Do you guys think that someone is starting these fires? Let's get into weeds a little bit with these fires. But that people are is what I've heard. Yeah. I mean, not even heard. I know we've all heard. I've seen videos, sorry, I've seen videos of people getting caught starting fires.

Also, this is super random. I went on, I knew it was gonna be amazing and it paid off in dividends. I went on X. Go on and give it to me. Wow, dude. X.com. Right off and give it to me. Wow, dude. X dot com. Right off the bat, Andrew Huberman, the

jacked doctor or like science guy who's got a podcast. Yeah, Tom Siguro's cousin. Is it? Yep. Or he just looks like it. No, it's his cousin. Wow. That's hilarious. That's cool. Yep. Okay, let's go. He's driving down the street himself, whips out his camera phone and films people lighting dumpsters on fire.

He's like, I just called the fucking fire department. They're lighting fires here. I cannot believe it. Could you imagine what is going on in your life that you in the midst of fires breaking out? Devastating the whole city that people's lives are being ruined, people are dying, people have died, on top of everyone's homes being destroyed, that you then decide to add to the madness. I'm convinced the Runyon Canyon fire, because Runyon Canyon has never been on fire. That's the one they said was arson.

And the dude in Studio City, Blazerbyyou, lit his own house on fire to get insurance is what I had heard. Yeah, that's what I assumed, because that was nowhere near anything else, and it was just like, what, now there's this? But you guys, this is what's going down on X. Gonna give it to ya.

Lasers. Everyone is saying the fires were started by lasers. Oh yeah. Well they say the same thing about Hawaii, right? They're like, lasers. Right, and they're going, hey. Okie dokie. So apparently these lasers that you can have,

I don't know, they can't light blue stuff on fire. Oh fuck. And so every, so there's all these pictures of like, fires and then there's like a blue, points. It's like a blue house. So there's like a blue car that's untouched. Or like all the blue garbage cans have not melted.

That's why my dumb friend sent me that. Oh, yeah, like where the recycling garbage cans aren't melting and they're like... Right. Who sent you this? You said your dumb friend? Yeah, I'm on a pretty dumb signal. Deep in the basement? We're getting down to it. We'll know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they're saying that the people who have the lasers are burning the palisades to erase. And who are these laser people? I don't know. It's the man. It's the man. It's the man, right?

Yes. Yeah, by the end of this podcast, we'll figure it out. It's probably Isaac. He started the fires. They burnt the palisades to get rid of the ditty evidence? Right. Not that you say that, that makes sense. Oh, wow.

Wow, dude. That's adding up. Wow. That's crazy. They're like, yeah, we're gonna burn down the entire city with palisades to get rid of the ditty evidence. Yeah, actually, yeah. How, and then so dude, I get taken down the deepest,

what do they call it, Blazer, a K-hole, keyhole, rabbit hole? K-hole. K-hole, keyhole. Rabbit hole, kangaroo hole. Where they're like, yo, the Getty Museum is... And that's where they did most of the Diddy, the freak-offs,

in the basement. So here's the deal, they go, the Getty Museum, they're like, it is a sex jail. Oh shit. That has 12 floors of basements going down. Oh. That housed 2 million sex slaves

until a few years ago. Oh. 2 million is an insane amount of people to be in the Getty Center. Well, first of all just logistically How are you feeding these people? Right? Exactly. I hate in these people. It's all come oh my god There's a well, that's a lot. That's a lot of come I'm gonna come and I'm not I don't want to make light of it, but that's don't make light of that's how they're feeding

That's like a human caterpillar situation where like you get fed fed cum, then you feed someone else. And like. Jesus, I like what you're saying. See, I mean, so you're housing these two million sex workers, are they leaving to go do sex stuff? Or I mean like, cause it, cause. Freaking Sia.

Who's gonna wanna go to the Getty to. No, you want them pure. Oh, you do. You want them pure, you wanna keep them there. And then they get to go up and see the art every once in a while. Oh. Yeah, that's kinda sick. That's kinda tight.

Yeah, and like use the umbrellas that they have. There's a really nice garden there. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't been in years, actually. When I first moved here, I weirdly went to the Getty kind of a lot. That's cool. By yourself? Or like with on dates?

The Renaissance man. Not in the basement. Okay. Not in the basement. Okay Yeah, unlike when family or friends would come into town like looking for things to do to take them to yeah Right like that thing on the hill. Yeah, you would be like, this is my house. Yeah, just cuz my house Welcome welcome My house like so bad that no one wanted to be there. I'm like, okay You're just talking to the people who work at the museum.

Like they're your butler. Can you go fetch us a ham sandwich? Hey dude, just go to Snack Shack. Please, go with it. You have your friends take their shoes off. You're walking around in your fucking socks. Go to the cafeteria and get me three ham sandwiches. Please, dude.

Take them out of the packaging and put them this this tray and deliver them to my family And they're like wow sir. I work down in the basement. I'm not doing this. I gotta go eat my company Please I'm gonna go in my mom's like my god Adam. How much of that Taco Bell commercial pay you? Pay you a lot of money Yeah, but can I borrow 20 bucks the thing about rich people mom is we don't talk about money Yeah, it's the less you talk about money the more rich you are. That's kind of the thing. It's so ad hoc It's a pejorative term. It's so ad hoc. She's like, wow, dude.

You've got to go on X. I cannot recommend it more. I love it. X is going to give it to you. I love it. The creativity is unbelievable. I think if you approach it how you did, as like, oh, I'm going to go here for entertainment, even though it is depressing when you consider these people aren't joking, like, like yeah it is fun to dip your toe in.

Well I would say probably 60% of all the people are joking, right? Or else it makes me go, oh as a society we're so fucking dumb that we've fully lost the thread and... Here's what I think it is. I'm a dumbass. we were so fucking dumb that we've fully lost the thread. Here's what I think it is. I'm a dumbass. I think 60% of it is bots. Bots gone, gave it to ya. Get your bot on. I think then it's 20 and 20.

I think it's 20% serious, 20% people there for the entertainment. But the people, but in the 20% of the people who are there for the entertainment, I think 80% of those people are kind of like into it, and then 20% are just there for the entertainment. And then of that 20% of the people.

Okay. I'm doing the math. I'm over here like, I'm over here like it's a fricking SAT, brother, what the fuck? I'm not good at percentages. I was never good at percentages, decimals. That was the only part that made sense to me. All that made sense to me.

Which means that 1 64th. Have the ability to start the fire. Yeah. Oh, good for you. But I'm telling you man, people, this is what's crazy to me. And this is like how it works. Has the whole world gone crazy?

There are genius people who have connected the dots to things that you're like, man, I don't know if that's possible. But they've, either they're smart enough to figure it out, or they're smart enough to figure it out, and I'm dumb enough to believe it. No, yeah. I was saying the other day, some of these people are so angry,

they'll believe anything, and I'm so happy I won't believe anything I'm like you think there's two million people in the basement of the Getty but like I don't know I do not know No, what do they call it? That's a term. Is it? Jor-tive term, what is it? Oh, sir. I don't like it. I don't know Observational bias or something like that is oh I don't know. Observational bias or something like that. Oh, goddamn.

Damn, dog. I know both those words. It's a fuck? No, that's not it. It isn't that. I'm smart enough to know that there is a word for it and too dumb to know the word. Right. To actually summon it.

Classic. Classic. And Blake, what's your yin yang? What's your this but not that? I'm just kidding. I think I'm just dumb, dude. You'll find out. I've got Jeopardy coming out February 12th.

I'm excited to see that. They do that, dude. I'm excited to see that. Yeah, I am too. It's a lot of fun. I'm excited. I saw you in the commercial, right? Yeah, they've got some YouTubes

where I flash on the screen. They show everybody. YouTubes where I flash on the screen. They show everybody for... YouTubes. Well, by the way, you should have been on more. Okay, thank you. I watched it and I was like, where's my boy Blake? You should be front and center. Thank you.

Are you trying to get butts in the seats? Show this beautiful mug. Come on. Yessir. Get some eyeballs on it. I think they know like our fans maybe not the biggest Do not watch Jeopardy at all. They're like whoa we got a big bump this week. Holy shit. Bunch of goofies tuned in. That's kind of cool. Bunch of kangaroo courts just tuned in a little bit. Here we go. I like this.

They probably just don't want comments from our fans. When I posted my fucking car was getting sold or whatever, which it sold, shout out. Nice. Hey, nice. Hit him. The comments were like, does it have a loose butt hole?

Oh yes, points! Oh! Oh! It was like, fucking has Alice ever ridden shotgun? I'm like, it's not a real person. When I posted that thing, that My Fitness Pal thing, there was like 25 comments that were just like, now does it count rotisserie chicken string calories?

Poop dollar! Welcome to the monster you've created. Just enjoy it, baby. Yeah. I love it. I love it I get it. I get a real kick out of it And like the my fitness pal people were like, what is all the like? What does this stuff mean and I I I was like, you know, my fans are there a wild they're a wild bunch There's somebody saying that Kyle's asking how much babies

Yeah, there was that too like how many calories are in babies, Kyle wants to know, something like that. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. It's a, yeah. Hey. Yes, points! Very good.

Kyle's still not back, done with the movie, still not back, maybe he's in the basement. We're not saying if he is or isn't, but it's possible. He's not here, possible. He's eating cum in the Getty Center. He might be dealing with the fires from Northern California. Yeah, no, he's Northern California. So he isn't, but we don't know where he is. We think he may or may not be in the Getty Center in the basement on the

12th layer eating cum. He couldn't be, he couldn't be the one to donate the cum for all the workers, but he said, no, sign me up. I wanna eat, I wanna gobble. The irony is that like, if he was still on the podcast, he would have gotten a bunch of load boost. He could have been feeding tens if not 12. Hosing people down. I'm gonna gobble.

I thought you said hoes. I was like, he could have been feeding 12 hoes. He could have could have got hoes man he finally could have got some hoes they know People used to throw around hoes real casually in the 90s. Yeah What are hoes mean like what is ho mean like hooker? Okay go off Oh, does it mean or does it mean just like a loose a loose lady? No, it means a hooker. Okay, go off. Oh. Does it mean hooker? Or does it mean just like a loose lady? No, it means a hooker. Okay. Does it?

Yeah. I thought it was whore. Yeah. And then they took the ho out of the whore. I'm sorry. I love how someone goes whore. Yeah, hooker, whore. Does whore mean hooker?

I thought whore meant was like the same thing as slut. No, whore is somebody who's fucks for money. Oh. They all are the same thing as slut. No, whore is somebody who's fucks for money. Oh. They all are the same thing and, you know, like the technicalities of it. No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think they all, all the words mean different things.

Like how words work. It spawned from pimp culture, you guys. What's that? It all spawned from pimp culture. Sure. Yeah. I like how after we kind of walked it out, Isaac just wrote in the group chat, whore. Whore. Whore.

Whore. Two minutes late. Two minutes too late. Whore. Whore. Interesting. So I guess maybe, is that like the Omaha, you're just kind of, there's less pimp culture there?

Probably? Not a lot of pimp culture in Omaha. Damn. What a bummer. Who's the biggest pimp in Omaha? Which is interesting because I feel like you had a whole pimp character. There's your movie dude. First pimp of Omaha. It was probably my buddy's like divorced dad. Right. He would let us drink at the basements so he's pretty so we're like man this guy's a pimp dude. Yeah. I do like the idea of an Omaha pimp who's just all carhartt like rough hands mm-hmm yeah he wears flannel on yeah just just pounds bush light right

and pounds pussy yeah he's powder right and then his his stable of women are just like literally a stable literally a stable you dog I'm sorry like frizzy hair flannel rocking and then there's one just like hairy gay bear guy who's like that's cool would you watch my back if I go fuck these truckers he's like I got you ho I got you ho I'm sure there are but Get em ho. It's not like a cool, like what you're saying. It's not like a cool like pimp. That's what I'm saying. Like pimp.

Just black. You can say black culture. They're cool. Black pimp. Yeah. Yeah. There's no cool black pimp. Yeah.

Okay. That we know of. That we know of. If you are a cool black pimp in Omaha, slide in Blake's DMs. Yes. Hit up Blake. DM me. Ooh. Yes, hit up Blake. DM me, DM me please. But there's no like goblet. There's no goblet.

It's like a Stanley Cup. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Oh, it's a giant. It would be an ice cold bush light. That's inside the Stanley Cup, cause you're outside.

With a camo can. Right. It's a platinum big gulp. What are you talking about? Yes, okay. Damn. I don't even know if it's platinum. It's blue platinum big gulp. What are you talking about? Yes, okay. I don't even know if it's platinum. It's blue collar. Where he would work is he would work at the truck stop. Yeah.

Lot lizards. He would work at Truck Haven, where we've already established there was glory holes. So he runs all the lot lizards, which is one of my favorite terms for a hooker that works predominantly at the truck stop. Yeah! So a lot lizard is a truck stop hoe. Yeah. Truck stop hoe, yes. That's correct.

Okay. That I know. That I know. What is truck stop hoe? Yes. You would have, if that was a Jeopardy question, you would have nailed that, Blake? I would have got that one. Yeah.

Good, good, good, good, good. What is Lot Lizard? And you have $200. That's like the Will Ferrell jeopardy. He said Lot Lizard. That is not the answer. Really? Huh. I could have swore. Yeah, like, that's interesting to me

because, like, it's not cool. This is interesting. Like, Chicago black pimp culture is cool. Very cool. Right, like Bishop Don? Bishop Don is cool. This is interesting. Like Chicago, black, pimp culture is cool. Very cool. Like Bishop Don, Bishop Don is cool. But like Mark, Mark who manages the lot lizards at, what's the gas station, truck stop? Yeah, the truck haven.

Piggly Wiggly, the truck haven? It's a haven. Oh yeah, bitch. The truckers. Yeah, I feel it would be a pretty meth-y guy. Oh. Yeah, no, I mean the actual reality of pimp is yeah, bitch. Haven pose. I feel it would be a pretty meth-y guy. Oh. No, I mean the actual reality of pimp is yeah, it's just like kind of.

I bet it would be pretty, pretty meth-y. You would hope that he has like a little bit more of like self control. I feel like pimps generally are, you know, it's like you don't get high in your own supply type stuff, you know? Like they've gotta keep their composure. Oh.

Now they might have hookers that need drugs and that's how they keep them in the fold. Yeah, there's lots of ways that pimps manipulate though. There's ways that they can string you along with like love and like that. That's why you're still here, Blake. What? I think as a whole pimps aren't probably great like great dudes

No, not good guys, but I think they're control freaks. Yeah, and so I don't know if they're a lot of them are addicts like that Oh, yeah, maybe you're right, but they for sure are selling this is important. Our are selling the meth Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're double. Yeah, it's all hand in hand. It's all right I don't think they're procuring it. Because they give it to the lizards. They give it to the lizards. For sure. They scurry on into the trucks. Slither.

They give, they slither. Slither. They slither on into the trucks. They sell some meth, and then they gots to gobble. Right. Right. They got a great ass. This is the way. They don't have great ass.

That's the order of operations. I mean, you've got to be some sort of salesman to go, hey, go in there and fuck that guy for $100 or $20 and give me 10. Okay? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like all three of us, we wouldn't be great pimps. Horrible pimps.

We had terrible pimps. Bad pimps. Bad pimps, like no pimp game. I don't even have, and I know Blake doesn't have, any game. Excuse me, don't speak for me. I know you don't have game. No, I know, I will speak for you, dude. I've seen you try to talk to women in the past. No game. Right.

Yeah! Okay, fair enough. No game. I feel like Ders would have game. My game is going, you have a bad haircut. Yeah, you could throw out some nags. I think Ders' game is that he's tall. That's your only game.

I think that really, that gives you 30% more game than if you aren't 6'3". You know, so I feel you have to have a lot of game, a lot of game to be a pimp. You have to be really good at it. You have to be oozing game. Oozing game. Well, it ain't easy is what we know. It ain't easy. It ain't easy.

Yeah, it's not for the weak. Definitely is not. No, it's more for like the diabolical, I guess. Mm. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.

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even the stuff that you wear on NHL now. You wish you could pull off my short shorts, Vorky. That's short of Kazo Ruckus. Listen to NHL Uns? You wish you could pull off my short shorts, Berkey. That's sure to cause a ruckus. Listen to NHL Unscripted with Berk and Demers, the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What would we be the best at as far as like a criminal enterprise? Like, what do we think? Cause I also was a drug dealer for part of my senior year.

Sure. Of high school. And that went great? No, it went really bad, dude. People really took advantage of me, dude. Yeah. Ah, son of a bitch. It was not great.

Burn! I'll pay you later, and then you just couldn't. It was a lot of I'll pay you later, no one paid me later. IOUs, yeah. I had, I think I got an ounce of weed for dirt cheap. Like a buddy of mine's dad or something had a pound of weed.

And so he was like, I'll sell you an ounce. The dad? Or it was like a cousin or something. I forget exactly how I got this ounce of weed. Okay. But I got it for $100. That's a good price. And that's a lot of weed for a hundred bucks

That's a really good price. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to become a drug dealer smoke weed No, yeah, I remember I remember how I got it and I can't say their name. You guys know who it is it was his brother and Okay, I got an ounce of weed and I then was trying to flip it was the the fucking worst. Was the worst. Right. You kept just throwing it in the air. Oh, allegedly. Well, I was smoking everybody out, dude. You got to.

And then how I ended up making my money back was a foreign exchange student, like a gift from God. He came in, he was brand new. He smoked weed. He asked me if I knew anyone who could sell him weed. And I'm like, as a matter of fact, and I made all of my money back. You're a monster. I was good as gold.

And then I got to smoke on this ounce for like a month or so. It was great. Why was the weed so cheap? It was bad weed. Yes, it was bad weed. But people in Omaha in the early 2000s were very used to smoking very bad weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sticks and stems. An ounce.

What is that, like 400 bucks usually? Yeah, something like 350, 400 back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sir, I don't like it. And now I'm sure it's probably much, much more. Yeah. And where does that come in? Like, where would that weed come from?

Would that be like somebody's backyard homegrown? No, that would be Mexico, I believe. It was pretty stomped on. Ah. Packed tight. Nice. Yeah, dude. There was my other buddy he had announced as well. Same batch. A roach literally crawled out of the bag. Like an actual roach. Smoke weed everyday. Oh my God!

Roach clip. And he ate it as like a bit. He was like, because it like burrows in the weed, like eating all the weed. And he's like, I'm gonna get so high. And then he ate it. Dude, and did he get high? I think he did.

Damn, that's like how Edibles started. That's amazing. Dude, I wouldn't have eaten that, Rog. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. The green bug. Yeah, I think maybe at a point I would've. I'm not trying to make light of it.

I wouldn't be eating it, though. Don't make light. Please don't. Don't make light. If you do, you start fires. I'm eating chocolate, guys. Don't make light. Okie dokie.

I'm sorry, I'm eating chocolate. Yeah, what, you're eating? Why? I need a little something. What kind of chocolate? R'm eating chocolate. Yeah, what, you're eating, Mike, why? I need a little something. What kind of chocolate? Rude, dude. What kind of chocolate? Rude, dude.

I'm down under, it's called Up Up Milk Chocolate. Slave free. Can you flip that? I can't tip it, because it's like, a little crumbs will come out. Slave free, what does that even mean? I guess there's like slaves that are working cocoa fields. I don't know if you can see this.

See that little finger there? See how it says? Oh, really? So they got it so, okay, up up. Holy shit. Slave free cocoa, huh? Yeah, it's a little blatant. Wow.

You know? That's a big logo. Well good. But they're keeping it real. Yeah, they're keeping it real. So they're slaves. They should put that on everything by the way. Yeah, I wanna know.

Like Red Bull should be slave free. Slave free Red Bull. Yeah, we're not, no slaves. If you don't. And if you don't have it on your stuff, it's like, what's going on? Maybe there's some fugazi. That's actually kind of a good selling point.

Like if you're a marketer, just be like, hey, slave free. Slave free. Even like a tattoo that I might get. Is that how we sell tickets to the next This Is Important live show? We're like, hey, it's slave free, just so you know. Yeah, we should do our due diligence just to make sure real quick, though.

Don't game! Yeah, really figure it out. Because we don't know what producer Anna has, like, people working for her that we don't know about, maybe. That's true. Who's in her 12th layer dungeon? She's a little bit of a slave driver. I don't know if you guys have noticed.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We'd have to run that up the ladder for sure. Right. See what's going down. Absolutely. Also, Isaac's lineage, who knows? Yeah, Isaac.

I don't see him being a slave owner. Yeah. My goodness. That's not cool. I feel like he was one of the whites that they were like, yeah, also you get in the field, right? Yes, exactly. Also you yeah also you know what you also have to work punk rock. Yeah, that's pretty punk rock. Yeah Let my brain help not gonna happen punk rock getting radical get out there. I

Have ideas. Well, we're going to be in the I don't know if we're doing a live show yet at this point It's kind of up in the air, but we are going to be at the Super Bowl. So I know I'm excited about that. We're gonna be doing radio row, we're gonna be doing multiple shows. Shows, I don't know, but definitely we're doing a lot of podcasting, whether it's just from our hotel room,

or wherever the fuck we stay. Just together. But I'm excited. I love New Orleans. You guys know how jacked and juicy I get for New Orleans, man. I'm so excited for it. Absolutely, that's gonna be a blast.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean, even the fact that the Super Bowl's there is fucking cool. It's gonna be rowdy and fun for sure. Oh yeah. Oh, it's gonna be great, man. Insanity. It's already a crazy place.

Yeah, and then you're pouring football all over it. That's gonna be sick. What? You're drippin' wet, wet football. Hot, wet, juicy football. I wonder who's gonna be in this. That will also dictate how it goes, the teams who are in it, because the fan base is, you never know.

I really... And I don't really care. I'm not, I mean I don't, I like the Chiefs, just because my whole family's from there, but they've won a lot, right? They have, yeah. They have. So I don't need them to win, you know. My family's from there, they're Chiefs fans,

so I've kind of become a Chiefs fan a little bit. I like that. But it would be nice for me, I understand maybe the world wouldn't like it, but for me, if the Chiefs fan a little bit. I like that. But it would be nice for me, I understand maybe the world wouldn't like it, but for me, if the Chiefs were there, because then I would have a little Divine Squadron. Right. Which would be, I mean,

and you guys have seen how drunk my aunts and uncles can get. They roll hard. Oh yeah. Perfect. You think they would bring a little party bust out there and get down? Absolutely.

Stretch armor. Nice, dude. We would be, Div party bus out there and get down? Absolutely. Stretch armor. Yeah. We would be, divines would be there in full force. So I'm excited about that. I hate to say it, but maybe I'm going for the chiefs now. Just to get a divine throw down. Yeah, hey, wouldn't that be pretty damn fun, wouldn't it? Can the chiefs play the lions?

I don't know how it shakes out. Like, I don't know how that works. I believe they can. Yes, they can. They can, yeah. That'd be the best. Dude, the NFL playoffs, the last few years have been outstanding.

It's crazy. Yeah, they've been very fun. Yeah! I love it! Now this will come out before we know who is fully in the college football championship, but is Notre Dame, definitely. And then we'll find out tonight.

Texas, Ohio State. I think tonight. Texas, Ohio State. In a couple hours or less. Yeah, that's right. All that stuff is so confusing to me. I thought the Rose Bowl was the big one. Oh no, you were so dumb.

You know what's been transpiring over the last couple of years as far as the playoffs, right? I follow college 0%. No, not really. Is this going to be a fun story or is it really boring? So there was never a playoffs, right? There was never a playoffs. They would just name the best team.

There were all the bowls, blah, blah, blah. But the bowls were dependent on your conference. And then all these other bowls popped up, and then they introduced the playoffs with just four teams, but now it's eight teams plus two play-in games, or some shit, and now we're down to the final four these past days. Okay, that's cool.

I'm down for that. I mean, it's a lot of football for these kids, I tell you. It's a lot of football, dude. And it's actually kind of sick, because every game actually really really matters As opposed to you just watch some bowl game and you're like, okay, right? Yeah, I guess yeah Yeah, the pop tart bowl that one's cool cuz the pop tart goes into the toaster And I love the pop tart does it reveal who who wins? Hey, did you watch the Dukes Mayo bowl?

Oh, yes, that one the coach got just douched with Dukes Mayo. That's rough. So he just got hosed with Dukes Mayo. That's gross. We need more of that. That's what I'm talking about, dude. That gets people like me to watch. Now I'm in, now I'm invested.

There's not a Chipotle Burrito Bowl for some reason. They should. Like what are they doing? How's that not a thing? Maybe the Mayo Bowl should have random potholes burrito bowl for some reason. They should. Like what are they doing? Yeah. How's that not a thing? Yeah. Maybe the mayo bowl should have like random, like potholes of mayo on the field. Like every bowl has different kind of like obstacles.

That could be pretty fricking cool. Yeah, this isn't double dare Blake. It could be. They're not pulling flags out of noses. Yeah, this is college football buddy, where this is actually some big business. You want viewership? You want, you you want you want to get a different demo You want to get the people who are tuning in to see me on Celebrity Jeopardy?

You need to do some cool fair legends of the hidden temple shit right yeah, I like that. I do like that Okay, thank you, but maybe just the end zone no, but that's a stupid idea Yes, but no maybe just a mayo end zone to dive into that's a stupid idea. What? Yes, but no. Maybe just a mayo end zone to dive into. That's sick. I do like the other thing. It's the Duke's Mayo Bowl. So then the coach has to eat mayo. A tough ass coach had to get, they put a five-gallon bucket of mayo

and then dumped it over his head, and then he's just now caked in mayo. Right. No! That's hilarious. Wait, the winner had to do that? You should do that to the loser. I think it was the winner. I can't remember exactly how it shook out.

I was just sort of half watching it and I look up and then the coach was getting douched in mayo, which I loved. I feel douched. Douched or doused. I love the douching. Both. Okay, I love.

It was an ad hoc situation. Yeah, yeah. It was a pejorative ad hoc situation Well, see I feel like the losing coach should have to eat a jar of mayo or get dushed with mayo in some way That's yeah, that's steaks to the game. Now you're adding steaks. Now you've got me watching out back steak Well, it was it was mayo wasn't Steaks, it wasn't Omaha Steaks. Well, the Steak Bowl would be pretty cool. There could be little barbecue pits in the field that you have to avoid, and you get burnt. Maybe not in the field.

Oh, hot coals in the end zone, how about it? Yes, like you tackle them onto the grill, and you sear your opponent. That's fucking cool, dude. I'm in, it's like some Mutant League football shit. Blake, I love your little mind. That's fucking cool, dude Okay, any take backs any apologies? Yeah, I love your baby little mind the bullshit any take backs any apologies any epic slams

Yeah, let's slam anybody who's starting fires. You fucking loser. Yeah, dude. Yeah, slam straight to hell Don't fucking start a fire and we're not making light of it because those that do start fires, fuck them. You lose! Shout out to everybody. Yeah, dude. Sorry to anyone that has lost a home or people that have lost lives. The whole thing fucking sucks. It really sucks. Shout out to the Palisades. Shout out to Altadena. Dude, those photos are brutal.

Yeah, Altadena's gone. It's Dude, those photos are brutal. Yeah, Altadena's gone. It's terrible. Those photos are brutal. Both Altadena and the Palisades, it's stunningly horrific. It's crazy. Yeah. So shout out to all of those people.

And I don't know if shout out is the word that we should be using, but I don't know. Enjoy our shout outs. I think people like to say, like, if you want to be cool, you say prayers up. It's like a cool, like, casual thing to say. Prayers up? Yeah, I see it. Why up?

To God. Well, that's where God lives, up there, dude. I guess so. You know where heaven is, bro. So I'm seeing a lot of like, hey, man, hang in there. Prayers up is like the fist bump of thoughtfulness. Of Christians? Of just caring.

Okay. Thank you God! Okay, prayers up I guess. Absolutely. Caring and sharing. So you know, I'm cool, so I'm gonna say prayers up. Prayers up. Okay, good.

And do you pray a lot, or is this, you're just sort of saying that to... Do you pray a lot? No, but I have a friend whose house is two blocks from the fire right now, and he goes, he goes, I'm doing a lot of praying for the first time, which feels weird. Yeah.

And I'm like, yeah, you definitely gotta have some lead up prayers. You gotta have a little runway. Before God is like, oh, so now, now? Oh, interesting, oh, there you are. Oh, this motherfucker. Dude, it's super weird when you just are praying for yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you haven't prayed at all, and then suddenly start to... When I was dealing with all my health shit, like when I was spasming out of control all the time, and the doctors were like, you are dying, you're dying. Yeah. When they told me that multiple times. Okey-dokey. That was so tight. Right.

Then I just started to pray, and the whole time I'm like, I'm such a piece of shit. I haven't prayed, like for years I haven't prayed. And suddenly I have a thing go wrong with me. It's one thing if it's for someone else and suddenly you're like, you know what, I'm going to pray for this person. Or even like upon someone at the bottom of the Getty basement. Thank you God! It's praying. It's a different kind. I'm gonna pray for this person or even like upon someone at the bottom of the Getty It's a different kind but yeah, yeah well and guys and and and I'm hearing you say this and no matter

How many times you pray how often it doesn't matter you when you come to God? He doesn't care come you know It's it's come brought to you by a load boost. It's not a judging thing at any time It's fine said wait come yeah, that's what I heard. I that's not what I was talking about I come to God and I pray I'm glad Adam flagged you saying come wait. I'm glad he flagged it because you said it you said it so Wait, I'm glad he flagged it because you said it you said it so You're right, and that's that's why you know I don't preach this way. I don't do thermin's all right You don't do semen everything goes back to porn and that's why this was another episode of Is important! Bet she's important.

Woo! Oh, yeah. On the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast, join late night legend, John Stewart, and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together our mission. On the Really No Really podcast. podcasts. to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast.

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up everybody, Adnan Burke here to tell you about a new podcast. It's NHL Unscripted with Burke and Demers. Jason Demers here and after playing 700 NHL games, I got a lot of dirty laundry to air out. Hey, I got a lot to say here too, okay?

Each week we'll get together to chat about the sport that we love. Tons of guests are going to join in too, but we're not just going to be talking hockey, folks. We're talking movies, we're talking TV, food, and Ed and Ed's favorite, wrestling. It's all on Le Table. Listen to NHL Unscripted with Burke and Demers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.