This Is Important - Ep 247: A Bunch Of Aunts Ain’t Nothing To F*@k With

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Today, this is what's important: Aunts, merch, refugees, vacation drinks, stem cells, Gulf Of Mexico, TII Cruise, Happy Gilmore, smoking, commercials, sunburn, in memoriam, Kyle, & more. Click here to learn more about the TII Cruise.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to Leviton on Bloomberg's Big Take podcast. Find it on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... Titties are back baby in California rock, suck our dicks. Is it gluck gluck or gawk gawk? How did we segue from talking about our parents being on the cruise to orgies on the open

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Da da da da da da. Wow, I don't know why that song came out. It's good. Oh that song just, I mean, dude, you put that on around a bunch of your ants. Oh my god. Fuck that. Sloppy. Sloppy. There's nothing like a bunch of your ants. Oh my God. Yeah, fuck that. Sloppy, sloppy. Dude, there's nothing like a bunch of ants. Dude, right around a bunch of your drunk ants,

just get sloppy, it's not unusual. We're dancing, we're dancing. We're dancing, I don't care, get up, get up. A bunch of ants is like the most dangerous group I think. Oh yeah, the hardest gang in America. Yeah, get up a bunch of ants is like a date the most dangerous group. Oh, yeah Yeah, the hardest gang in America dude They say like when you see a bunch of teens you're like cross the street Well a bunch of teens a bunch of youths together now and now do a bunch of your ants

Yeah, not even your ants any ants any ant that's right that when you hear a van just like oh God yeah Get the kids they're all loose yeah, if you see a dodge caravan cruising in this song fucking blast oh yeah Danger danger. Yeah, sweet Caroline. That's yeah, that's a group of ants For sure mm-hmm that's a group of ants. For sure. That's an ant banger. Or just like a drunk bar that does karaoke. That's a drunk bar. That's a play about three times.

Yeah, they play that a lot. That's a drunk bar. Did someone just leave Caroline yet? Yeah, if you're there for one hour, you hear that song three times. Unfortunately. That is so funny. A bunch of drunk you hear that song three times. Unfortunately. That is so funny. A bunch of drunk ants playing that song. You hear they dodge caravan, cruise by.

That's a horror movie right there. That is the movie. I was just going to say, that's the movie. A bunch of ants. That's the movie. That's A24 ready. Oh my God. One of the ants just got divorced.

They're all out. They're like, come on, find this motherfucker. They. They're at a they're at a drunk bar. You know what they're singing. Yeah, they're like, Susan, fuck him. Fuck him. He's an asshole. That was the problem, though, that I fucked him. But I love my kids. I love my kids.

He gave me the best gift in the world. Cougars coming to a theater, dare you? Cougars, well, a bunch of ants. Yeah, a bunch of ants is what we're saying, dude. Cougars coming to a theater, dude. Cougars, well, a bunch of ants is kind of where we're talking about. Yeah, a bunch of ants is what we're saying, dude. Not cougars. Cougars are different there. Cougars can be cougars.

Yeah, but cougars. They can be, but cougars are not necessarily be ants. Cougars are less scary because if you are a single man, you might want to fuck a cougar. You know what I mean? Or you might get, you might be prey. And Adam's just doing the numbers. OK.

With a bunch of ants, these are, as soon as you say they're You know what I mean? Or you might get, you might be prey. And Adam's just doing the numbers. Okay? With a bunch of ants. Well, okay. As soon as you say they're an ant, you don't wanna fuck them. Mm-hmm. You're not trying to fuck them. That's not kind.

For any ants listening. Blake, it's not us, it's society, okay? Right. This is a societal norm. Well then don't say I'm an ant. Don't have that be your badge of honor. Ugh. Don't identify as an ant.

These women that are driving in the Dodge Caravan that are scaring, that are terrifying this neighborhood, they for sure qualify themselves as ants. We are ants. And you know what's wild about this bunch of ants is that there's always a funky ant that's not invited. Popo Sal! this bunch of ants is that there's always a funky ant that's not invited. You know what I mean?

Bumble sow! There's the fun ant, but the funky ant who's like. But the fun ant just in my family, the fun ant just means the drunkest, loudest ant. Okay. That's every family, yeah, every family. Okay. Every family, just like I'm the fun ant.

And then. Also known as the most emotional ant. It's like these are, and midnight hits, and the pumpkin or the carriage turns into a pumpkin. The wine bottle, the wine bottle is empty. The glass slipper turns into a Wolverine boot again, and she's gotta go to work in the morning. It's not unusual.

Dude, I love your lols. You were rocking the whole fit, dude. Lol, smokes. Yeah, Ders, what the hell? Hey, I'm pretty high for somebody so lol. That's not getting points. Um, yeah, they sent me some merch. Give me a hell yeah!

Because I think a few weeks ago, if not several, I like, whined. I whined a lot. Yeah, you were being. I think a few weeks ago if not several I like wine I wine a lot. Yeah you were being a real bitch a few weeks ago. Yeah. And it turns out if you wine if you wine enough. My job. They sent me a box of merch. Mm-hmm. Dude I got sent a lighter. Yeah. Okay. It's like a fucking blowtorch. Yeah. I got one of those. Unreal. Fancy. But but then you know what happens is it runs out and runs out pretty quickly Yeah, and then you have to refill it because I got the same one you have to refill it And then that's a thing I will never do

The lighter and it sucks because it's very nice. There's a great gift. Thank you little I'm not gonna refill it now. it's just a thing that my kid tries to eat. It's an antique. It's something they're gonna find hundreds of years from now and go wow. What is this lighter? Is this like a Zippo lighter or you're talking like one of the torches? Dude, it's like a

trigger. You slide the trigger up and then two little flame dicks just block. I need one. Yeah. This got docking flame dicks. This is what it says in their literature. Yeah. Yeah, in their literature is what, this is how they phrased that.

You need another four inches. And did you get sent any, sent any weed or just merch? There's a, this is one of two boxes. I think the weed box is coming. Whoa, get your box on. I don't know if they have to send that a different way. Go, buddy. I don't know.

We don't know. And we're not saying how they send it But a very soft sure definitely not through the mail because that's illegal to do a hand deliver it if I were to guess Lowell one of my favorite weed companies It was a drone a blunt shaped drone came over my home the other night Remember when they were saying a few years ago that drones are just gonna start delivering packages to your doors all the time? I remember that. Yes.

Blake, do you remember that? I do recall that conversation. That just didn't happen. It's science. It's not happening here, but it's happening. I just watched like 60 minutes or something like that on it just the other day. They're doing it in-

You watched 60 minutes? In like Rwanda. You're so old. In like Rwanda, yeah, it's all I have. All I have is 60 minutes. Okay. Knuckin' grandma! I watch it on YouTube.

I watch like the little clips on YouTube. Okay. Fair enough. But they have like pharmacies in Africa. I can't remember which country. But they are essentially like zipping stuff to hospitals that would take like, you know, the roads are pretty shitty, it would take a while to get there.

They just zip these drones off from like a launch pad. It goes, it drops the medicine with like a parachute and then it comes back and gets caught on this, this little slack line. It's fucking sick. What the hell? Sorry, I zoned out, I zoned out and I just, I knew you were talking but I stopped listening

Which I do and I hate that about myself, but I do that's why I wasn't a great student I could have been I'm smart as fuck. I just engaged myself, but I don't so where was this out of it is in Where's why would I repeat myself? No, no, no, no, just where was it? Why would I repeat that? We dip it a Blake.. Just where was it? Why would I repeat that? Zip it. Hey, Blake, where was it? It was in after you just told me. It was in after. You're like, oh, I'm not going to listen.

I didn't listen. No, I didn't. It wasn't. It's not that I chose. How do I know you're listening now? I am, Adam. How do we ever know you're actually listening? It's not that I chose not to listen.

It just happened. The brain just turned off. I'm on a lot of medicine. Zip it. I'm on a lot of medicine. I'm on a lot of medicine. This is filled with medicine. It sounds like you think other people should tolerate that.

I'm on a lot of medicine. Sometimes I zone out. It's science. It's not all me, okay? Don't shake your box of pills at us and try to excuse you not listening. Is this what you do to the, is this what you do at every meeting

where you zone out, you just shake pills at people and say sorry? Thank you, Blake. Get him. Yeah, when I do a big Hollywood meeting with like a studio executive, I just bring this and I go, hey. Hey, Spielberg. Sorry, where am I again?

This is Netflix, where is this? Is this Hulu? I forgot to look on the way in. I'm sorry, officer. Am I in my car right now? Jiggle jiggle. Adam, it's in Africa. I can't remember on the way. I'm sorry officer. Am I in my car right now? It's in Africa. I can't remember exactly what country he couldn't maybe in Rwanda. I could be dead wrong of Rwanda Oh Rwanda. Okay, we get bit the place with that dope hotel. I think hotel Rwanda Yeah, they do they apparently have really nice hotels there. It's got like a sick hotel. There was a movie all about it

I never saw that movie. I never saw that movie. I haven't seen it either. It's like a White Lotus. Like, they were sort of doing White Lotus before White Lotus is my guess. Really? Yeah, it's my guess. Yeah, Don Cheadle, I think Don Cheadle plays like a male escort. Oh, sexy. So it's like Pretty Woman, but it's Pretty Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Pretty Man in a beautiful hotel in Rwanda. That makes a lot of sense. Oh, wow. That sounds fun. I think that's what it's Pretty Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Pretty Man in a beautiful hotel in Rwanda. That makes a lot of sense. Oh, wow, that sounds fun. I think that's what it's about. Yeah, it seems like it should be that. That sounds really fun. I gotta check that out.

I don't think it was about a genocide of a certain, anyway. Okay. Is it real? I'm gonna have to check it out. Never seen that. Oh, Todd, Todd's got the link, the IMDb link. Maybe I guess, let's see, what was that movie about? I'm pretty sure we know.

Yeah, what was it about? A hotel manager houses a thousand Tutsi refugees during their struggle against the Hutu militia in Rwanda, Africa, and yet finds time to be a male hooker. Oh, wow. Wow. What the? We were reading the same part.

I missed, I feel like your link must be different than my link. Huh. Working man. It really is White Lotus. That's crazy. Black Lotus, actually. Okay. They called it Black Lotus.

Yes, points! Tootsie Refuge? Those are, if you're going to be a refugee, I feel being called a Tootsie Refugee, that's, you're going to get admitted into the country a little quicker, right? You're like, hey, I'm a Tootsie refugee, that's, you're gonna get admitted into the country a little quicker, right? You're like, hey, I'm a Tootsie. You know what I mean? Just this kind of a fun name. Everyone likes Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops.

I forgot that's also how it works. Yeah. It depends, if you're a refugee and there's a country that's like, well, who are we letting in, how many, what are they called exactly? Yeah, what are they called exactly? I just need to make sure that when they get here,

there's something fun. Yeah. They're not a bummer. Yeah, you don't wanna be a bummer if you're coming into a country. Just don't be a bummer Absolutely, and what would be a bummer to you Adam like Syrian refugees? Is that just that's a grass like what are they serious? Yeah, it seems like maybe they take themselves a little too seriously. It's like right. Hey chill We're just happy we're just trying to have a party here in America, you know, right as a bagel Yeah, that's all we're ever trying to do is just fuckin' party.

Right. We're just trying to party, dude. Party and then you die. We're kinda closing the door, we're saying, we're in here, we're partying. I'm just trying to party. Where's that? Where's that been?

I just wanna party. I just wanna party. Where is that one? My wife hates whenever we're on. My wife. My wife. I just wanna party. Whenever we're on vacation,

I will first thing in the morning, every morning, play Andrew W.K.'s Get the party started. It's time to party. It's time to party. Play that song, play that song, dude. Because it starts off, I remember Blake loved that song when it came out. I remember Blake loving that song. Here we go. Blake kept being like, he's my spirit animal. And I go, that's an interesting thing to say. Yes. Dude, imagine you're in Italy on vacation with me and I wake you up to this.

Dude. You're ready to go. Imagine you're having a nice trip to Mykonos. And then you just wake up to this dude, sweetheart come outside It's a rotor Bollie Alice Oh in Italy I'm saying you're in like Ricky avic at this point. Oh, okay. Yeah Oh my god, you're watching when it's time to party we will party heart. Yes, sweetheart

Look out the window the The northern lights are here Why do you do this Why would you do that to her? Yeah? Enjoy this do you like waking up like that? I do Yeah, yeah, I need something like this or you just appreciate it. I like Waking up like I'm shot out of a cannon. I do like that energy. I like when you- That's interesting.

Whenever we're on the road, it doesn't seem like you like getting up at all. You kind of roll out of bed. That's not true. This last tour, I was perfectly fine. I think you guys were talking about previous adventures, but the new me- Friendship.

Likes waking up like I'm shot out of a cannon. Okay. I like this. Like it's time to party? But the new me Friendship likes waking up like I'm shot out of a cannon Okay I like this Like it's time to party? I do like, well specifically on vacation, I do like to get the party started first thing in the morning Right I TOLD YOU DUDE

Which means you gotta get a drink in right away Okay God is drinking What is your vacation drink? Besides blood Which we know you do Blood. This is the way. No, that's Kyle Yeah, I was gone. No. Yeah, he's dead to us because he's he OD'd our needing babies Defensive about it my I think my drink, my vacation drink, would be,

you can't have too many of whatever fruity drinks that they're offering. You gotta go local, you gotta go local. Tell that to my canker sores. Here's the deal, you can't have too many sugary drinks. So you have one or two of those, and then you just gotta go with a local beer, a local beer or whatever local drink they have. Or I just do a vodka soda,

cause you know what you're getting there, you know how to ride that wave, it's comfy. Wake up! That's what I do. Vodka soda, I don't know. It's not your thing? It's not your thing? Are you a tequila soda guy? I remember that was like early 2000s. I like a soda. That's not your thing? That's not your thing? Are you a tequila soda guy?

I remember that was like early 2000s. I like a tequila. It could be forever. It could be forever. It could be forever. I don't disagree. I like a little tequila or Jack and ginger. Cool. Satan!

That's Andrew W.K. I like to party. There's too much ginger ale though, because if you have 12 of those, then you had a lot of ginger ale, and that's an Andrew WK. I like to party There's too much ginger ale though because if you have 12 of those then you had a lot of ginger ale And that's too much my trick is I don't drink 12 of them. What that's a trick. Okay, then Yeah, you're not shot out of a can What are your vacations bro, do you read books I do the two sugar drinks I do two of the Jack and Ginger's. Okay. And then I go on to the beer.

Toasty! And then I go, Somebody help me! I'd say that's probably a responsible thing to pivot to. I'm not gonna drink just mixed drinks all day long. I need to get some. You can. Unless we're on a cruise,

then I'm pumping my body full of piña coladas. Because I'm getting my calories from the beer, you know what I mean? Absolutely, we're drinking our lunch. I'm skipping lunch. I wanna be real hungry for dinner. Oh, and you know what we're having. I'm going to the luau.

You know we're eating a whole pig, baby. Oh boy Boy great ass Blake. What's your vacation drink pina colada? Absolutely. I love a pina colada doing more than one of those or are you starting with that? I you know what I might like if they have a lava flow as well I might parlay it into a lava flow, but I'm not doing a lava flow. That's basically pina colada with like strawberry as well, I think.

And Adam, are you also doing like something like that? Oh, I want an umbrella in my drink. I mean, I might have one just to say I did it. Sure. But no, it's not, I'm not going out of my way to get I'm drunk now a pina colada Or I'm not going out of I'm not going out of my way to get that no or like a monkey's lunchbox Sure, what's that now? You're not I don't know. I just I'm just repeating names of drinks I see on menus when I travel it's like when I go to when we're in New Orleans you have to have one perp drink

You know, you got to have one. Absolutely. Absolutely. But I feel like you can have two or three. Then you're I mean, yeah, you're you fuck yourself. I feel like there there is a little something soft about drinking something out of these fun glasses with like big pieces of fruit hanging out. And I'm just wondering if if that's what sets us apart. Soft in what way? Like pussy shit shit what the I was intoxicated but saw judgment yeah, what why why just cuz I have a brute

I'm just saying I'm just saying I Get like looks from people when I have like a big drink like that Who's looking mostly for my wife who's like you're fucking bitch? Well, she's not looking at me cuz that she's like oh She like knocks it in my face, and I'm like I gotta order another one. The fuck are you drinking Ders? Yeah pussy Come on, but I do get an IPA you fucking bitch other I feel like a lot of guys wouldn't get those drinks because of the appearance. Oh, no, that's that's not why Well guys not why for that I wouldn't get it that is no

Yeah, because of the male gaze. I'm totally fine looking like a bitch I just said that's how I get my party started But I think there's a lot of guys out there and guys if you're listening slide into Blake's DMs and tell them You're this yeah who are like I'm not getting a fucking drink like that. I hate when dudes who are like, I'm not getting a fucking drink like that. I hate when dudes judge your drink like it's anything. Like they're drinking it. Yeah, like what the fuck do you care? Like dude, just let you drink your drink.

Yeah. You post a light beer, they're like, oh you're just drinking water. Like who gives a fuck? It's not going in your mouth, bud. Dad. Dad. Dad, it's slash.

Yeah, but isn't it fun drinking light beers? Because then you can drink a dozen of them. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Or pina coladas. You can have a dozen. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I feel like you'd get a headache, Blake. Is that worth it? I'd probably get severe diarrhea. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. You guys like a Mai Tai? I like a Mai Tai. I love a Mai Tai.

I love a Mai Tai. Yeah. That's a good second drink. A Bahama Mama to start your afternoon off if you're in the islands. Have a Bahama Mama. The cause of diarrhea. Adam, are you just, are you, did you Google fancy drinks like this and you're reading that off the screen right now? No, these are off the top of the dome. This is the pills talking. I just had the Bahama Mama when I was in... What are you looking at? What are you looking at on your screen there? You guys. Yeah, this is you. talk I just had the Bahama mama when I was in what are you looking at? What are you looking at on your screen there you guys? Yeah? This is you look at me right now This is you look at me. I'm looking at you wait. Wait. You weren't looking there the other time Yeah, I'm looking at you right now. I'm looking at Dyrs right now

Okay, I was just in the Bahamas I had Bahama Mama hot hot hot a delicious drink I think I was allergic to it rum rum base a lot of rum a lot of rum It was so good went to the hospital still finished I like kind of broke out in a rash I maybe I was just allergic to alcohol because I that was like the first time I drank big Post not drinking for months yeah, so you not going to have that problem on the cruise though. That's for dang sure. Or do you think maybe you will?

I might go get stem cells again in this fall. So really? Yeah, I might do it again. Because they worked? Yeah, I think they were maybe 10, 15 percent. So now I'm going to try to get another 10, 15 and hey, that's 25, 30 percent. Feeling good. Is that how it works? That's how should we go with you this time? Maybe oh, yeah, that'd be fun

You want to come live from Columbia come down to Medellin? Yeah, be fun as hell and do you have to go there people are telling me they go to Texas. It's science No, but that's not a real BAM that they don't get this. They don't get the same amount. That's not that good good Oh, yeah, you want it from the the umbilical cord? Is it real? Straight into me. Yeah. They, they, the ones in Texas are the ones in America. You either have to do it like under the

table, which seems a little sketch. Or it's just not the same amount or the same quality. Right, got it. Yeah. We got some weird regulations over here. We do. You literally just go to Columbia, they give you a fork and knife and you eat somebody's anvil record, right? That's what it is more or less. It's science. Yeah, and it's it's above the table. No, it's it's very aboveboard It's bioxcellerator. They do great stuff. Oh, that's right stuff And it's a really cool clinic. So yeah. I like to go down there the one time

and I'm hoping to go back. Yeah. But that means that I won't drink for three months afterwards. So I'm gonna try to plan it to where that's all said and done and then when I go on the cruise I can ground and pound, baby. That's cool. That's a cool way to plan your life. So day one of pack drinking is going to be on the cruise ship? I don't know if it'll be day one, but I mean, I would like to do a little lead up, a little practice run beforehand. You know, I assume on a cruise there's like a speaker in everybody's house.

So like the captain can be like, there's sharks in the water. Watch out. No one's swimming on the side watch out Are we starting every day with Andrew WK for Adam you better believe I would love that it's 9 a.m You know I hosted the Weezer cruise Like in 2012 or something. Oh, yeah, and they gave you a mic, right? They gave me the mic and they called called me the MC of the ship. And then it was just like, I was doing fine. I was cracking jokes, yada yada. Cut to 1130, and I'm in the casino.

And they gave me the mic to like, hype people up to come to the casino. And I'm like, hosting a casino night or whatever. And it's just me going like, come on down to the casino. Oh, we're having a blast down here, everybody. Cut to an hour later, and now I'm drunk, and I'm like, come on down to the casino, we're having a blast down here everybody. Cut to. An hour later and now I'm drunk and I'm like losing money and I'm like, don't come to the casino, no one, no one, they're taking all of her money down here. Do not come to the casino.

Guys, you hold your phone up to the mic. You're just like, this is it. There you go. immediately we're like hey can I see that microphone real quick whoop you just kept saying ice there's an iceberg! We're in Mexico! Caribbean iceberg. Rogue wave! But for some reason we do have to take this seriously. So will we be traveling through the Gulf of America? America?

Is that where we're going to be traveling through? Everybody out to the deck was saluting the Gulf of America! Damn right! I can't wait to hit the Gulf of America. It's going to be smooth sailing. How to be a new hero here! the Golf of America? Damn right, dude. I can't wait to hit the Golf of America. It's gonna be smooth sailing. How to be a new hero here. I'm gonna come.

Dude, what sucks about, I mean, because it is a cool name, I like it. Golf of America? It sucks that the rest of the world is just like, nah, we're not calling it that. You know, if it was gonna be called the Golf of America, you want the rest of the world to be like, yeah, okay, we're all on board with now.

It's the Gulf of America. But yeah, if nobody's signing off on the name and signing off on it, it really doesn't matter. That kind of sucks. Yeah. It's a little lame. Yeah. Isn't that everywhere? Doesn't everywhere call like other countries call us something else besides the United States of America. What? What? What are they calling us? Don't they call us like Estados Unidos or whatever? Like in Spanish?

Well, that's just the different language. Like it's still, that still means the United States. I understand. That still means the United States. They're not saying. They're not calling us like the bitch boys. But, but so we call Japan, Japan, but they don't call it Japan.

Don't they call it like Nippon? Well, I think that's Japanese. That's how you say it. Oh my God, exactly. But why don't we call it Nippon? Like, do you understand what I'm saying? Like, when you hear people speaking Spanish and they're like da-da-da-da-da.

But it's translated to that. I understand, but listen to me. Because they're still saying like golf. When you hear people speaking Spanish, and then they're like da da da da da, and then sometimes it'll be like personal computer, da da da da da da da da da da, CD-ROM drive, and you're like, oh wait, they don't have like a Spanish name for this? No, they go into the English.

Fuck it! I get what you're saying, but it's not the same. I'm fucking done here. It's not the same, dude. It's not the same. You gotta put the lowest down, bro. Goal! You gotta put the lowest down. Why isn't it the same? Because it's a different...

America doesn't mean Mexico. So when they translate... Like Mexico doesn't mean America. So when they translate Gulf of Mexico, it won't translate to Gulf of America. You understand that, correct? That I understand. Okay, then you're not as dumb as I thought you were. What you guys were saying is that, well, we shouldn't do it because

nobody else is calling it that. And what I'm saying is that people call other places, other things, the end. Okay. And we'll be right back. Right back. Michelle Obama to say that to a therapist. So let's unpack that. Former First Lady Michelle Obama and someone who knows her best, her big brother, Craig, will be hosting a podcast called IMO. What have been your personal journeys with therapy? We need to be coached throughout our lives.

My mom wanted us to be independent children and she would always tell me, stop worrying about your sister. Having been the first lady of the entire country and representing the country and the world, I couldn't afford to have that kind of disdain. What would you say has been the most hardest recent test of fear? Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty

on the iHeart Radio app app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband has a secret son from a past partner. Hold up Sam, how do we know? Have we done the DNA test? Well John, luckily it's Mother may I have a DNA test week on the OK Storytime podcast so we'll find out soon. And this wife writes, my husband received a Facebook message from a woman saying that

he is the father of a five year old. At first he didn't remember her but then he realized they had a one-night stand right before we started dating. Wait, but do we have proof he's the dad? Well, the author says there's no confirmation the kid is even his son, but the woman from Facebook has a meeting with her lawyer soon. I think she's going after our money. If the kid is actually my husband's, she would be entitled to it too. So what's the husband got to say about this? This could be his kid.

Well, apparently he broke down in the middle of the living room apologizing, but this is what scared me. His first instinct, if the kid is his son, is to pay the child support, but not be an active father in the kid's life because he only wants a family with me, his wife. Oh, this is a mess.

To hear the explosive finale, follow OK Storytime on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. wife. Oh, this is a mess to hear the explosive now you follow okay story time in the I heart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the meat eater podcast network hosted by me writer and historian Dan Flores and brought to you by velvet buck. This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each

episode I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and bestselling author and meat eater founder, Stephen Rinella. I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say, it seems like the ice age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves. You know? So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th, where we'll delve into stories of the West and come

to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Glod. And this is season two of the War on Drugs podcast. We are back. In a big way. In a very big way.

Real people, real perspectives. This is kind of star-studded a little bit, man. We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner. It's just a compassionate choice to allow players all reasonable means to care for themselves. Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne from Brothers Osborne. We have this misunderstanding of what this quote unquote drug thing is. Benny the Butcher. Brent Smith from Shinedown.

We got B-Real from Cypress Hill. NHL enforcer Riley Cote. Marine Corvette, MMA fighter Liz Caramouche. What we're doing now isn't working and we need to change things. Stories matter and it brings a face to them. It makes it real. It really does. It makes it real.

Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs podcast season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. We're saying that the world is not acknowledging that it has switched from the Gulf of America, or Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America. How do you say United States in Spanish?

Estados Unidos or some shit? I don't know. That still translates to United States. I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Yes. If they were calling it something else and we were like, no, we don't call it that, neither does the rest of the world.

You saw what I was saying, so I don't wanna talk about it. If you saw what I was saying, I made my point. So, no, let's. Back off, back off. You're ruining your point. You're in the weeds now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Keep going.

You don't understand. You're like, dude, he signed off. I get it now. I get it now. I get it now You know and another thing so that'll that'll be fun. That'll be a fun part of the cruise more of this on the cruise Yeah, well, we're gonna have a lot of workshops on the cruise Oh, did you guys hear about the geography be on the cruise? Yeah? Gulf of America, we're already

Almost halfway sold out. Holy shit. Thank you God! That's pretty damn good considering it's in February. So we got a minute. We can snap up your cabins dude. I'm excited dude. That's pretty cool. Am I bringing the whole family?

Is Bo gonna take his first vacation? The maiden voyage? Wow. Okie dokie. I might bring my family. The whole, like Dennis and Penny might roll. And then, you know, you guys. Oh, that seems automatic.

Yeah. Goofy. Yeah, my parents are kind of sniffing around. My parents are sniffing around. They're asking, should we roll? Can we, like, sell merch? I'm like, yeah, let's do it. I mean, I think that'd be great.

But not our merch. They have their own merch. No, no, their's do it. I mean, I think that'd be great. But not our merch. They have their own merch. No, no, their own merch. Yes, absolutely. That would make the most sense. Bunch of ants. My mom just sells visors that say, goofy. Hey, we got to go back and watch a bunch of MTV spring

break videos. Oh, those are going to be on loop. And steal all those games that they did back in the day. How are we not doing like a dating game where it's like a chick getting interviewed by like three guys or vice versa or whatever the thing is. And they have the triple kiss. If they don't, they go overboard on the sharks. Isn't that the... And your parents host the dating game? Well, you know we're gonna be in international waters, so anything can go out there, dude. We're in international waters. Triple kiss it. Yeah, triple kiss, or maybe a straight up orgy breaks out. Who knows, it's international waters.

Oh my God! Those aren't legal everywhere? Mm, not in public. Wait, how did we segue from talking about our parents being on the cruise to orgies on open waters? You know how Adam goes. My mom suggested it. My mom suggested it.

Outside on pineapples. Goofy. She was like, you know what would be kind of goofy if an orgy broke out? What? Goofy. Is this a close optional cruise? Mom, what? Internet.

Mom, just watch my kid in the cabin. I think it is, um what god damn god damn I like that god. I don't know how many pina coladas have you had mom? I like watching cruise ship videos because I just think that there are these insane like feats of engineering where you're like How is this moving city even real BAM? That would be cool, and and you know what to, what is going to ignite a passion in us? It's going to ignite the passion to do game overboard. That's what it's going to do with.

And I know the world has been clamoring for it. Why aren't we, we should get some like B roll definitely to save some money. Maybe we shoot it. Do we just film it? At least a sizzle. Maybe we just shoot it on someone's phone. Yeah Well, who's gonna direct it because Kyle has said over and over that he hates the pod and doesn't want anything to do with us Or the podcast so right water trash always he's always even just call

He called me the other day to just say that yeah, see ya Yeah, I went at lunch with him the other day and the whole time. That's all he talked about I was like, oh just want to shut the fuck up about how much he hates the pod. Mm-hmm, right? Yeah Yeah, we didn't even order anything maybe we could have him as a guest when um, happy Gilmore to comes out We can interview him. Yeah, I feel like maybe he'd want to do that if we're lucky See ya, you know, they put a podcast in happy Gilmore to Kyle's the director he and he's the one who directed the movie. He didn't choose us.

Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino. He probably pitched us. Bad Friends is in the movie. We're not. He probably pitched us. No, he didn't are they bigger They're bigger. They have a they're a very well established podcast. Sure. Sure. Sure I've got guests on sure they do and sure and talk I mean, I know Bobby talks for sure probably a quite a bit about jizz but less than us maybe everybody's coming Yeah, I think we talk more about Jizz.

Are they brought to you by Semenex and Loadboost? He talks more about like either getting fucked or fucking people when he was 12. He talks a lot about that. So I mean that's, that's more popular than you would think. I gotta listen to that podcast. Yeah, so he didn't choose us. He could have easily chosen us to do it. That's all I'm saying.

So he hates us. I like to think he ran it up the flagpole. He didn't. Okay, see, alert. I talked to them about it. He didn't. He goes, oh, I didn't even think about that. And I'm like, what? Fuck it. What do you mean?

Yeah. And he goes, dude, I didn't even think about that. I wasn't even thinking about that. And I'm like, oh, okay didn't even think about that. I wasn't even thinking about that. And I'm like, oh. Okay. No. Huh. Yeah. You didn't even think about that?

He's like, nah, dude. I wasn't even in charge of that. I didn't even think of that. And I'm like, ah, huh. To me, that's such an easy thought. You lose. Well, I mean, he did come to us as actors, right? No, he didn't even think about that.

Didn't even think about that. No! Well, he came to me for like, uh, like round table punch up. Oh wait, no. Did he? No, he didn't even think about that, dude. No. We're out of sight, out of mind. What the hell? Yeah, it was wild. I was like, what do you mean you didn't think about that?

He's like, yeah, dude, I didn't even think about that. I'm like, okay. you mean you didn't think about that? He's like, yeah, dude, I didn't even think about that. I'm like, okay. That's right, the podcast. Yeah. Freaking see ya. When you went on that whole podcast tour with us and we went to all those giant venues that were sold out and fans were clamoring and seemed like it was a big deal

and then you immediately forgot about that. He's like, yeah, dude, forgot about that. Happens to the best of us. And then while we were eating lunch, he then goes, they're like, you know, but right before we were ordering, I'm like, I'll take the chicken Caesar salad. And he goes, do you have babies on the menu?

And I'm like, whoa, whoa. That's delicious. Right. Yikes, yikes. I know we're in Hollywood, but you're like, whoa, whoa. Check, please. Whoa, yeah. No, and of is, but you're like, check please, whoa, yikes. No, and of course, in true LA fashion, they said, not on the menu, but,

oh, yeah. I know who you are, coming right up. Oh, I'm gonna come. Hollywood. I know someone. There are, there has to be like, Swinger or G Cruises, right? That has to be.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, yes, they're called Singles Cruises, right? Oh, yeah. But that's not what Swingers are. That's, that's just- Well, that's the code name. The code name is Singles Cruise.

Yeah. Well, why not just call it Fuckfest 2000? Burn! Burn! Yeah. I mean not just call it Fuck Fest 2000? Burn! Yeah. I mean, Adam, you're not wrong. Luck luck 5000. Blah blah blah. I don't disagree with you.

I don't like you guys telling me to show my tits. Dude, and Isaac's gonna show his tits. And like gay cruises gotta be Fuck Fests, right? Yeah, I would say. Oh yeah. I would say. Like if you go on a gay cruise, if you go on a cruise that's just based

on your sexual orientation, like leading with that, that's a fuck fast, right? Great ass! I mean, gay cruise, what if it's straight cruise? Straight cruise. It's called straight cruise. What that's what I'm saying is like,

if the cruise is titled like, sexually straight cruise Then you're going to fuck yeah, that makes losses, but also why not call it gluck gluck 5,000 like you know if you're selling the fact that you're gonna go there and do gluck glucks Is it gluck luck or gawk gawk? It's like what what what I thought it was It I mean there there's literally no way to tell it could be good. Oh, there's one way there's one way to tell Yeah, pull up the audio. I thought let's yeah But if the cruise was called sexually straight cruise that would make me think there is some not straight shit going on on the prize That's too why that's it's on on the clients. That's too...

Why? They're spending money to... Well, that's what I'm saying. Why not just say, call it Fuck Fest 2000 or whatever? I guess you don't have to put a number behind it, but it seems like... It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. If it's called Absolutely Super Straight Sexually Banging Only Chicks Banging Dudes Cruise... Do you know more words or do you run out? Here's the movie. super straight, sexually banging, only chicks banging dudes, crews.

Do you know more words or do you run out? Here's the movie. There's a cruise that's called like the missionary cruise, but it's like Christians and shit. Oh. There's a group of ants who are like, we love missionaries. Whoa!

Let's go, let's go get fucked. Okay. That just get, a missionary cruise that they're a little confused. It's Rebel Wilson, it's Amy Schumer, Old Navy is a sponsor. Absolutely. This is not a bad idea, Ders.

Yeah. Oh, missionary cruise? I already- Let's go get railed. I already know what the trailer is. And that's how we- We can't invite the kooky in. We can't invite.

Let's invite it. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Missionary. Missionary crews.

And by the way, at the end, they find Jesus. Exactly. It's basically Sister Act. Or actually it's a guy who looks like Jesus. We know chicks. We know chicks so well. We know chicks so well. God, we know chicks.

We know ants, we know moms, We know chicks. We know chicks so well. We know ants. We know moms. We know wives. Everyone, have you guys seen Jesus? Someone's looking. They're trying to find Jesus. And they think it's Jesus? Exactly. They're like, Jesus.

Oh, man. It writes itself. Wouldn't mind getting railed by a Spanish guy named Jesus. We know chicks. We know how they talk. Yeah. We know ants. We know ants. We we know ants welcome to the ant farm alien ant farm missionary missionary alien ant farm this is this is all I remember this band are you

okay are you okay Yanny just the head he was really good at a different style of head banging I remember hearing that song for the first time very stoned on my way to detention Remember did you guys have after school? Bad boy if you're really bad if you're really nice. I did some bad stuff Constantly in detention. I can't even remember exactly what I did, but I only had a a few times, but I was on my way there, very stoned, and that song came on, and I'm like, did this just change music? Oh shit.

And you know what, Adam, zero exaggeration, I think it did change music in a specific way. In a worse way, is that what you're about to say? Yeah, in a way where it was like, oh, bad music's popular now. What the hell? I loved it, I loved it. Leave them alone. Maybe we get them for the cruise.

That'd be awesome. We definitely, I think they already bought tickets. Dude, if we can get Alien and Farm, and who, like, Three Doors Down, if we can get those two bands. What's a Three Doors Down? What is a Three Doors Down song? They had a Kryptonite, that song. How's it go?

I played that song in the car and Chloe knew absolutely every word and she's like, I'm not joking, that's one of my favorite songs of all time. Why? I don't know. It just hit her right. How's it go? I'm working on it. On that Kryptonite. She had a booty like Kryptonite. No, no, no. On that Kryptonite. I'm on that Kryptonite. You still call me Superman. Oh, for sure. If I'm alive, no, no On that crap tonight I'm on that crap tonight

And when you still call me Superman If I'm alive then will you be there That's Three Doors Down? Oh, yep Alright everybody, it's Adam on the mic Everybody come to Three Doors Down Was that me drunk? Yeah, in the morning

Yeah Everybody just come to the stage right sir? I can't, I'm sorry Was that me drunk? Yeah, in the morning. Yeah. I can't, I'm sorry. I already played a lot. You knew the song though. You knew the song. Yeah, I remember that song. God, what an era of music that I just was like. I guess I just wait. I wait for better music.

Do you want to hear when they're like, if you like this artist. But then you listen back and you're like, did we peak with Three Doors Down puddle of mud or I like sex with Marcy playground I was like fuck if I turn on MTV and see this fucking video with the tarantula again I'm gonna blow my brains out dude I mean my buddy Kyle Walsh goons gunner you guys know him. Goons Gunner. If we went to a Three Doors Down, Marcy's Playground, Everclear, and Fastball concert.

That's true. I actually don't think Three Doors Down was on that show, but it was Marcy's Playground, Fastball, and Everclear, dude. Might as well have been. If that's not a fucking banger. I fuck with Everclear, I like Everclear. If that's not a fucking banger. I fuck with Everclear. I like Everclear. If that's not a fucking banger of a concert in 1999.

Hot, hot, hot, hot. That's hot, hot, heat. Fastball does, what is it? Show Me The Way? The Way? And the phone that you walk on is paved in gold. It's always summer and never gets old. These are, they were a one hit wonder, right?

Yeah, they were. What was Fastball's, they got a couple. What was the way? It is called the way you're right. You're right. It is called the way it starts off kind of like calypso, and that's a word I'm using Yeah, this part does that clip so that's calypso No, yeah this one yeah Yeah Calypso, no. Yeah, this one. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

This is literally, it's literally just the Friends theme song. No. It's the same exact song. And I thought you were on my team about cool, good music. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm actually on the other side of the fence at this point Wow I'm really really really really really really offended don't they have a song called fastball also I'm not seeing that yeah, they do no. Oh, yeah, no hold it up Todd pulled it up I guess I was in I guess I was in eighth grade on fire. He's so good dude is June 17th 1998 27 years ago at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha, Nebraska I guess I was in eighth grade on fire. He's so good dude is June 17th 1998 27 years ago at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha, Nebraska

What well yeah 27 years seven years ago? I was at that concert a whole Zendaya ago Yeah, one guy's and we go is she even she might even not be 27 wrong you know time is is a sequence of Zendaya Todd how old is Zendaya isn't that I or day and PS. I don't know definitely Zendaya Hyundai Hyundai Hyundai Hyundai I feel like I should have just gone with one name. I fucked up you do you're literally Ders No one knows your last name It's not about knowing my last name. She's 28. She's 28.

It's not about not knowing it. I don't know Zendaya's last name, but I don't need to. She's a Zendaya. What do you think? It's probably Smith. What? It's just something you could clip. How old is the blonde girl also from?

We were just talking about her. We always are. Sydney Swindon. Yeah, her last name is Coleman Zendaya Coleman That's like that's actually hard. I'm down. I mean it's a pretty regular last name I'd say yeah, the blonde girl with the big eyes and the big What way oh what are you talking about? What is how old is she? The girl with the big eyes the big tit is uh... Who? Right! That's what I- That's who I'm asking the question! What the fuck is your name?

The girl with the big eyes. The big eyes. The big her eyes were very closed. Maybe you're right. What do they call that? No, they're kind of big. I think they're kind of big. Stoned? Stone face? Stone face. Wait, what are you looking at right now? I'm looking at a photo of her. Her eyes? Yeah, her eyes. She does have sort of big eyes. I think they're kind of large. Yeah, but there's something going on. Something's large with her. They're sleepy-lidded, right? Yeah. And that's not like an insult. That's just a description.

Blake has that. Yeah, that's such a hot look to me. No, no, no. Blake does not have that. What? I have a kind of a, yeah, like I'm half asleep most of the time? Yeah. And it's not because you're stoned.

No, you are just half asleep half the time. That's not what your eyes are. I'm living in a nightmare. I think people think Blake's stoned all the time. That's not what your eyes are. I'm living in a nightmare. I think people think Blake stoned all the time. How often do you even smoke weed, Blake? I smoked weed last night. That's not the question.

How often? He's not going to answer. He's too scared. I don't have a calendar. I don't mark the days on the calendar. Oh, he's a true stoner. No calendar. Yeah, so you're evading the question. I don't know how to answer that. Be real. Be real. Not daily. Okay. So what does that... So you are evading the question. I don't know how to answer that. Not daily.

Okay. So what does that mean? Well, three times a week? Twice a week? Once a week? Once every two weeks? Bimonthly? There's ways to answer the question.

It's crazy that you can't. I mean, I know you don't know every day, but like I don't, like I'm currently not smoking every day. Sure. But I'll smoke four times a week I'm about to smoke four times a day. It's about to be a problem. Okay? Yeah, I love it. I can't pick up the kids. I'm gonna have them Sydney Sweeney eyes That would be really good. I'll get back to how much I smoke a week But I invaded the course is a date becomes a daily smoker'd be wild. That will be fucking kind of wild, bro.

I do gummies almost every day at night. I like that for you now. You use them to fall asleep. I try and beat my wife, clip that. I try and beat my wife to sleep, cause she snores. Wow, dude. If I get to sleep before her, I'm good to go.

If I'm awake and she starts snoring, I'm up for two hours. That's why I have to beat my wife to sleep. If we're not clipping that and putting that at the beginning of the episode, where it's like, this week on This Is Important. I don't even think the sentence, I have to beat my wife to sleep, that's not even adding up when you say it as a sentence.

What do you mean? You have to beat your wife to sleep. You'd say, I have to fall asleep before my wife. That would be the way to really put it. That's not a funny way to say it though. This is a comedy podcast. What are you, high? High 11.

That's the issue with like, he's not high. Once you go drown yourself in the gulf of a marriage. And I want to get back to how much you smoke weed, dude, because you're a fake stoner and I'm fucking outing you. I'm sick of this shit, dude. I'm sick of this shit. I'm not a stoner. I'm a athlete.

I'm a father. Health guru. Alcoholic. Alcoholic. It is weird that he is a stoner poser, but he's also a closeted gay guy. Just let me finish. I am not.

What are you saying? What I'm saying is that you, I'm not saying you tell people you're a stoner and that you, but I'm saying you look, your appearance is that of a cliche stoner, and yet you also like secretly work out a lot. Yeah. I don't, I'm not a gym rat. I gym rat. Look, your appearance is that of a cliche stoner, and yet you also secretly work out a lot. Yeah.

I don't, I'm not a gym rat. I just. I know, that's my point, is that people who go to gyms, you always were like, I worked out. Shh, don't tell nobody. Shh, don't tell nobody. I work out literally every day, but shh, don't tell anybody.

I won't shut up about it. Adam drags a fucking like Radio flyer full of kettlebells to the beach as a famous person and works out for sure Very loudly To let everybody know it was like they go there. He is I you know I just exist how I am I don't I don't announce it to anybody It's you know sometimes I smoke weed sometimes I work out sometimes meaning every day. It's not sometimes you work out Yeah, it's not sometimes you smoke weed. It's you rarely smoke weed, and you're never not exercising

Yeah, you're always working out. You're flexing your abs right now. No I I like to run. I like to run Yeah, mm-hmm sometimes. I like to I I like to run. I like to run. Yeah. Sometimes I like to, I run high sometimes. That's fun. You get the runner side. Hey, shout out to Puma, who make outstanding running shoes.

Shout out to Puma Grip, you not slippin'. They just did a whole like ad campaign with the Afro Man. Oh! We did the Because I Got High. Oh yeah, that's cool. And they played Because I Got High and the whole thing was like the runner's high and I was like, this is fucking sick.

That's a good commercial. Dude, I just saw a commercial that kind of, I was like, whoa, this is for a dove? Like women's deodorant. And it was, the song was, my neck, my back. And then it like changed the lyrics from, to like, the rest of my body. I don't know what the hell, but I was so thrown that they used that song because the lyrics from to like the rest of my body. I don't know what the hell, but I was so thrown that they used that song because the next words in that song are my pussy and my crack.

Yeah, that. Lick my pussy and my crack. And this is a Dove deodorant commercial for women. That's where we are. That's where we are though, man. My neck, my back. Lick my pussy and my crack. My neck, my back.

It was absolute It threw me for a fucking loop that was the song we listened to on the way to prom That was like the the anthem you and your mom She's like I must set the mood okay, is this link that yeah, that's the link that's the commercial Yeah, play a little bit of that Here I'll tell you when to start it start at 12 seconds They call deodorant Wow

Intact your thighs will be intact. I think it must be for like no chafing or something Yeah, and I also I don't isn't the art the original artist is it like Kia? I think this before the car and they didn't get her No, it didn't look like her unless she has gained a lot of weight since I remember jerking off to her album cover when I was a kid. Right. Dude, that song didn't come out when we were kids, homie. I was definitely in high school. Can someone slide in Blake's DMs and explain to me why full body deodorant is suddenly everywhere?

Well, you know, this looks like it's like body spray. We've talked about this maybe. It looks like maybe Axe is making its way into the female market, because that's what it's looking like. No, but they call it full body. They're like, do your feet stink? Use this.

Do your armpits smell? Like they want you to cover. And I'm like, are they just trying to sell more deodorant? Like what at the FDA or whatever happens are if they were like You can sell RFK your whole body your whole body Deodorized we don't want you to smell no more artificial Blake that song came out in 2010

No, it did not there's no possible way. It sure did. I just looked it up. It was released in 2010 There's no possible way my neck sure did. I just looked it up. It was released in 2010. There's no possible way. My neck, my back, released 2010. 2002. I listened to that in 2002. I listened to it in the limousine on the way to prom. Okay, my neck, my back, 2010. You're looking at the deodorant. No I'm not. I looked up Kia, my neck. There's no way. That's a Kia commercial. No, no, no. Unless... That's the Kia hamster.

Hey, Blake, I want you to use your own Google and tell me I'm lying. Todd, put it in the chat, bro. Yeah, it's 2002. Why does it say when I wrote Kia, my neck, it says, my neck, my back, song by... You're watching Blake Griffin dunk over a Kia right now. No, I'm not. In 2010 song by... You're watching Blake Griffin dunk over a Kia right now. No, I'm not.

In 2010. I am absolutely not. No. I know for a fact they were playing that shit in the limo in my mom's car. And that's when you were jerking off? Okay, no, you're right. You're right. It does say 2002.

Why did they... I mean, Google kind of throws you for a loop sometimes. You've got to really know your stuff. I get really worried. Google's fun. You gotta use Lycos. Is a pretty good search engine. Yeah, you're right, 2002. Yep, there it is.

Adam is seeing a different version of the song. By the way, I understand that you jerking off to this album cover very sexual. Yeah, right? So she's like bending over, showing your neck or back, or pussy or crack. She was hot, dude. Her pussy or crack. She was hot. I thought she was a flame thrower.

Did she have sleepy eyes or not? And who would have guessed? You jerked off to that? Yeah, I think she kinda. You jerked off to that. What the hell is that? I'm not trying to be mean. Bro, this is free.

It's not exactly the most flattering. I mean, it's a sexual. It's a sexual Album cover, but also blinks her booty. You know that there's that there's porno. This was a different time in oh, too You couldn't wait for it to load. This was a different time the computer was in the family room I wasn't like you where I would just Download shit and get skull and crossbones. I was privately jerking off to album covers No limit soldiers. Oh 2 oh 2 we were graduating high school

You didn't uh you weren't able to Get a Dell dude dude dude you didn't get a good Dell at this point. I had a Dell okie dokie I had a what was the one with the cows? What was that one? That was a gateway. Dude, I had a gateway. They had really good screen savers. That shit was fire.

The toasters. I went through like three gateway computers. They fried after three months every time. And they'd be like, just bring it in. Yeah, because LimeWire was just on and popping over there. You were, I heard Deep Throat videos. I was just on and popping over there. You were your I heard deep throat videos I was just talking to my homie of the day about this infamous Porno like Pete like what I call it a professional music video porno. Here we go. We're back

We're back where we would just throw it on but like as we drank and pre-gamed it would just be on someone's computer Wow, dude, I remember you just you saying, that you used to put on like compilations before going out. But it was this one, it was called Out of Control. And if you guys know I'm talking about sliding Blake's DM, send him the link. That's wild. I didn't watch. No, no, no. We didn't watch communal porn.

We were not a communal porn friend group. It was just on. It was just on. It wasn't like we were all watching it together. It was just on. You take a glance and you go, that'd be fun to do tonight, maybe. I don't know.

To who? Each other. What? Uh huh. There was a bald woman who got jizzed onto her head. Oh, wait. Wow, dude. That's fun. Actually, send me that.

Yeah, send me that. Send me that. Internet, do what you do. Slide in Blake's DMs. Slide me that. Send me that. Hey, internet do what you do. Slide in Blake's DMs. Slide in Blake's DMs with that link. Out of control. It's from the 2000s. It's a banger. And shout out to who made it. Hey, my name is Jay Shetty

and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michelle Obama. To whom much is given, much is expected. The guilt comes from am I doing enough? Me, Michelle Obama, to say that to a therapist. So let's unpack that. Former First Lady Michelle Obama and someone who knows her best, her big brother Craig, will be hosting a podcast called IMO.

What have been your personal journeys with therapy? We need to be coached throughout our lives. My mom wanted us to be independent children. And she would always tell me, stop worrying about your sister. Having been the first lady of the entire country and representing the country in the world, I couldn't afford to have that kind of disdain. What would you say has been the most hardest recent test of fear?

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband has a secret son from a past partner. Hold up Sam, how do we know? Have we done the DNA test? Well John, luckily it's mother may have a DNA test week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. And this wife writes, My husband received a Facebook message from a woman

saying that he is the father of a five year old. Whoa! At first he didn't remember her, but then he realized they had a one night stand right before we started dating. Wait, but do we have proof he's the dad? Well, the author says there's no confirmation the kid is even his son,

but the woman from Facebook has a meeting with her lawyer soon. I think she's going after our money. If the kid is actually my husband's, she would be entitled to it too. So what's the husband got to say about this? This could be his kid. Well, apparently he broke down

in the middle of the living room apologizing, but this is what scared me. His first instinct, if the kid is his son is to pay the child support but not be an active father in the kids life because he only wants a family with me his wife. Oh this is a mess to hear the explosive now you follow OK story time of the I heart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the meat eater podcast network hosted by me writer and a The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the MeatEater Podcast Network, hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores, and brought to you by Velvet Buck. This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode, I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best-selling author and meat-eater founder Stephen Rinella. I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were

here didn't have a real affinity for caves. So join me starting Tuesday May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Clayton English. I'm Greg Glodd. And this is season two of the World on Drugs Podcast. Yes, sir. We are back. In a big way. I'm Greg Glod. And this is season two of the We're On Drugs podcast.

Yes sir, we are back. In a big way. In a very big way. Real people, real perspectives. This is kind of star-studded a little bit, man. We got Ricky Williams, NFL player, Heisman Trophy winner. It's just a compassionate choice to allow players all reasonable means to care for themselves. Music stars Marcus King, John Osborne from Brothers Osborne.

We have this misunderstanding of what this quote unquote drug band. Benny the Butcher. Brent Smith from Shinedown. Got B-Real from Cypress Hill. NHL enforcer Riley Cote. Marine Corvette. MMA fighter Liz Karamoosh.

What we're doing now isn't working and we need to change things. Stories matter and it brings a face to them. It makes it real. It really does. It makes it real. Listen to new episodes of the War on Drugs podcast season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

And to hear episodes one week early and ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcast. Why do you guys, why does Blake not look sunburned? We all went and shot this thing. Oh my God. Can we talk about this? Yeah, I think so. For a teabag. Do we want to even, do we want to, okay. I just didn't want to like paint it with a negative connotation. No, no, no. It was super fun. I had a great a Tiba. Do we wanna even, do we wanna, okay, I just didn't wanna like paint it with a negative connotation. No, no, no, it was super fun. I had a great time shooting it.

It was this thing for Vans with the Tiba. A lot of our friends were there. It was, we had a great time, at least I did. I was having a really good time doing it. I thought we were having fun. A Tiba's doing his own shoe collaboration for Vans. Yeah, a whole clothing line coming out. It's really sick.

Yeah, it's sick. That's very cool. So we did a little thing for it, but they had hair and makeup there. It was like a real commercial shoot. So we went through the works, they put the makeup on. I wasn't really paying attention to what they're doing. I was too busy chopping it up

with my boys, you know, having a good time. They did not apply sunscreen. I'm wounded, dude. Look at this dead to- Yeah, your nose. And we were outside for hours on the black top of an elementary school or middle school, that matters. Middle school, no trees, no trees.

Cookin', and Adam's nose just started bleeding. It just started to bleed. Not from a nostril outside of the nose. This happened once when I was a freshman in high school. When I did a car wash for a student counselor, some bullshit. Didn't apply sunscreen. And this dot opened up on my nose.

It didn't go away, and I'm not kidding, for a decade. I think I remember. I think you had it when I met you. Yeah, you always had that little red dot on your nose. Little red dot on the nose. It's back, baby. That was your first stand-up name. Little red dot.

Like, Little Rel Howie, it was Little Red Dot. Little Red Dot. Comedy union. And the Indian community was pissed at me. Yeah, they're like, wait a minute. They're like, hang on. This is not what I signed up for. Hang on, fuck you.

Hey, that's actually a sick rap name. Lil Red Dot. Lil Red Dot? You got the scope? You got the scope? Oh. I thought I was seeing some hot indie comedy. Indian, Indian comedy.

Indian comedy. Indian comedy. That's a little inside joke. The love guru. For us. This is for us. Yeah. Do you guys remember? No, I think that happened, that was in More Colleagues, right?

I'm into indie comedy. Indian comedy. We said that out loud. Yes, we did. Indian comedy. It's during when Bill is holding everybody hostage, but we all come out dressed as our... Oh yeah, the boogers. Is this the booger episode? Yeah, it is.

Blake's infamous booger episode. Great episode, great episode. Shout out Jetset. Jetset, how did he not get a nom when he's getting the booger taken out of his nose and he's crying? It's a different time. Different time.

I feel like now I'll be now Like we would be the bear you know what I mean just yeah, absolutely reinventing the wheel every episode with boogers My love guru impression Maurice gaga today Imagine Imagine jet set in a tuxedo Imagine, imagine, Jett said in a tuxedo. Oh, God. I would have loved to have seen that. Bill in a tux.

I would have loved to see that. Wayman, RIP. Did he get mentioned in the, in memoriam? I can't remember. Ooh, Jett said it? Yeah, did he get mentioned? I don't believe so. I don't believe so, and that's very sad.

That's fucked up. Super disrespectful. And also, I don't think Wayman did either that's super fucked up super The Oscars didn't put him on blast and that's why I refuse to go to the Oscars boy Do they do it in memoriam? For at the Emmys or is it just the Oscars? I think I think the Emmys I think that's the thing at the award show. Because a lot of TV folks never crossed over. I would like, if we die, I hope we get a shout out on the,

I hope I'm an old man. You will. And, well no, I mean, who are we kidding? I'm dying first, so when I die, I hope. Yeah, your nose is this first sign. Yeah, my nose is already falling off. Hey, remember red dot? He red body. Yeah, goodbye.

This right here, that makeup woman gave me skin cancer. It's right there. Wait, ooh! I did text you that my face was peeling off and yours actually is. I hope that I have a little photo up there and you guys cry, old men tears. Yeah, hopefully I'm in the audience.

It's you tucking your dick between your legs? Yeah. What did you say? Because my dick fell off. In black and white. And it's slowly pushing it. What is the most compromise in memoriam? It's me getting my butt hole licked by

a dog and going like no no no no okay well that's not bad. Or me in Game Over Man when I get pushed off the bed and my legs fly up and you can basically see my asshole. Your memorium is gonna be X-rayed. Yeah. Like, was he a porn star to fuck? Every clip is just his butt hole

and his dick tick between his legs. God, how are you? A little red dot. Oh. I hate a little red dot. Oh. I thought it was Indian comedy. God, I wonder if I died tonight, you died tonight. would I make it to,

definitely wouldn't be on the Oscars one. No. Goodbye. Would I make it to an Emmy, would I be an Emmy one? Yes, 100%. Today? I feel like I'm on the, tonight, I died at night. Yeah. At 8.30. At night, not today. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait%. Today? I feel like I'm on the, tonight, I die tonight. Yeah.

At 8.30. Not tonight, not today. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait, what? I put the kids to bed, I say good night, I kiss them one last time. End it, end it all. You fall down, what, you fall down the stairs?

What happened? No, no, no, no, no. No, what? Your heart explodes. I swallow a sword. What the? And then I jump off of a bridge holding grenades. What the? I'm just making sure that it actually

You're done. It goes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to fail at that I feel I mean, yeah, we all I'm on the but I'll say I'm on the bubble I think I'm on the bubble. I think I'm also I know you're in you're in you're in Maybe modern family. Yeah. Yeah, I mean modern maybe Modern Family might have pushed me over the edge. Yeah, you will be. They are not gonna show you with your butthole out or anything. It's gonna be a lot of manny footage, for sure. Yeah, it'll be a ton of manny.

Well, workaholics won't be mentioned. They will not, no, no, no. They're not showing. They're not using any clips from workaholics. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. No, couldn't, couldn't. Forgot, already forgot about the show.

That's the thing, Ders, if you're gonna die, die closer to the Emmys. That'll get you in. You gotta die like the week before. I know, but then it's like, didn't somebody die right by the Emmys and everybody got all butt hurt because they were like, whatever,

he didn't get enough. Yeah, I forget who it was. Was it the kid from the kid? It's probably R.H. But from Glee, right? Homie from Glee. And then they didn't put him on in the immemorial? Is it real?

But you know what? It was probably because they already edited the footage. And they're like, oh, we're going to have to pay the editor again. Right. And it's like, you know how easy it is for them to quickly know edit no he's like it's to music like it's time it's like we can put them at the very very end I know I know we're in for like a professional television

production but we can't edit no it's all it's all it's time I'm kind of time to this song that jelly yeah faces singing it's kind of time to the song that Jellyface is singing. It's Jelly, you know Jelly Roll singing it. Jelly Roll. Yeah. Jelly Roll is gonna be on stage singing it live. You know he's singing it. I think he did it, didn't he do it?

Jelly Roll? I thought he just did one. I could believe that. Yeah, I would say he's the guy right now. But I hope he's singing the song by Kia my neck my back My pussy and my crack he's dead I don't know. I don't know what he's saying But I think he did just do one and there's no way to know cuz our goddamn producers won't slide in the chat

I know what Todd is saying that I did he did he's saying he did That I saw a different version, so I was right in what I was seeing. Different version of my neck, my back sang by Awee Jive? Mmhmm. Awee. Is that how it's pronounced? How would you pronounce that? O-E? On a podcast? Live? I wouldn't. Try to pronounce that. O-E? On a podcast? Live? I wouldn't. Try to pronounce that.

O-A? Jive. O-A? Jive? There you go. I'm thinking it's owie. O-A, o-A. I think it's owie.

Owie. O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O record company and like stubs his toe and they're like, oh, he's like, Oh, what was that? What's that? What was that? What'd you just say? Right then? That's good. I said a Owie. That's your name. That's your new name. I'm Clive, whatever that guy's name is. Clive Davis. I'm Clive Davis. Your new name is Owie. Yo, I'm P. Diddy. I'm P. Diddy and you're Owie. Owie Jive. Oh my God. owie jive How we jive is gonna find us in public at a function and fucking punch us Wow, well if he or she wants to be on the pod on the cruise more than welcome She it's a she that would be and how we bring her you know she also sang the song ten years later Do you want to look at you want to look up?

Do you want to look up that version? Yeah, will you play that version, please? Yeah, is it the same song by the way it was a number 42 is on the Billboard hot 100 in America It reached number four in the UK two years later, so you know the UK's freak You know what we might be on to something dude say less what? It's a colorless. Shake your body, don't stop, don't quit. Say, ooh-wee. Oh, shit.

It's pronounced, it's ooh-wee. It's ooh-wee. Ooh-wee. Ooh-wee. Ooh-wee. Shake that body, everybody get loose. Oh, shit. Maybe I like it better.

OK, that's all we get. Wait, is ooh-wee a bad sounds like a guy? It is. No, but Todd says it's a she. Todd. It's ooh. We have that sounds like a guy it is no, but Hey, how does it to she Todd says it's a she maybe trans well They I think I mean the guys kind of hyping her up with in the first verse And then she's gonna come in and fucking break it all down. You know Hmm Listen look what is

Hey, my ears were burning. My babies were burning on the grill. Should I answer? Here, ready? Yeah. Kyle? Hey, what's up, dude? Oh, dude.

Hey, man. Hey, you're on the podcast. What's happening? What up? For real? Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Hey. Hang on. Oh, how's it going? Can you hear the dude? Welcome back. He just. Hey. Hey. How's it going? Can you hear the dude? Welcome back. He just hangs up. Hold up. How do I do this?

Hey, buddy. How's it going? Welcome back to the podcast. Wow, interesting. Interesting. What's up, guys? What's up, man? Interesting, dude.

Oh, dude, I had a question for you about schedules and, you know, other workings. Okay. Lame. If you're potting, then continue potting. Alright. See ya. Yeah, hit me up afterwards. Oh my gosh.

What's up, TI Nation? Oh, shit dude. There he is. There he is. I'm surprised you're not choking down a baby right now. Oh my gosh, what's up TI Nation? Whoa! There he is! There he is! I'm surprised you're not choking down a baby right now. I'm surprised you're able to be so full-throated right now. None of that.

Allegedly. None of that, man. Come on, none of that. Okay, right. We don't know. We don't know. You're just not part of the podcast, so we don't know what you're up to. Look at this.

Allegedly! I'm taking this time on the podcast to say my piece about this. I'm not eating babies Okay, you can't stop you can't okay? You heard it from the horses now. All right. Yeah, okay, so he says so he says Adam There's no way to tell way to welcome him back to very cool. Love you. Love you, Kyle Miss you Kyle Wow Wow. Wow, dude. That was special. Wow. Adam's like, nah.

Nah. Okay. Frickin' see ya. Hey, don't cross Adam. He was shook. He was like, oh. He was. He was like, I'm on the podcast.

You mean, uh, Bad Friends? That's the only podcast I know. Oh, boy. That's too good. Yes, points! That's the only podcast I know. Oh boy. That's too good. Yes, points! That's goofy! Oh man. Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams today?

Instantly regret answering that call. No! He's dead to me. I didn't have the courage to stand up to him like you did, Adam. Yeah. And I want to salute you for reminding us that you're an asshole and I felt like a bitch

for a second. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't have the courage to stand up to him like you did, Adam. And I want to salute you for reminding us that you're an asshole, and I felt like a bitch for a second. I don't know what's happening. You were. You kind of bitched out. Adam stays true to the asshole moniker. I know, but, um... I was over here squirming for my boy Kyle.

I wish I was more of an asshole to that makeup artist, dude. What is this? This is gonna stay forever. Why don't you look sunburned, Blake? That's the real question. Why are you so clear-faced? He's always outside. Yeah, I think I have a base burnt. Well, you do too.

Yeah, I'm usually fuckin' tan. I live at the beach, I'm tannish. I'm pretty burnt. I think my ring light is blastin' me. Doin' wonders. Yeah, Durs Durs has my fucking sunglass and you weren't wearing sunglasses though I know it was weird the words right out of my that is that is straight

But I am peeling like here sun damage on your forehead Damn, and every once in a while I get like when I went to Australia and was working there, dude I got fucking lit up and had a sunspot for like a month or two. Those are the worst. That sun. Slowly dying. That sun. Dude, I was so burnt the other day, I did this,

I'm still doing press for Gemstones because we're coming to the end of the series. We're coming to the end of the series. Great run. And Hell of a Run, great show. Hell of a run. And I did this, I think it was a variety interview. Goon days! And she goes, oh my God, you got a lot of sun. And I did this I think was variety interview. Okay. Oh my god

You got a lot of Sun and I'm like Jesus. I'm getting dunked on by the ver by the interviewer Oh my god, is that even allowed? Can you say that I would have been like actually I didn't Okay, and I'm offended you said I got a lot of sun based on the color of my skin. We're just rotten tomatoes. What's great about society right now is I think- Anything goes. You could get away with it.

No, I think- Hey, red man. Being offended is not even cool anymore. I feel like two years ago, being offended was very cool. Now if you're offended, people are like, I don't give a fuck, who gives a shit anymore? Yeah, fine, be offended. All I'm saying is you got sunburned.

I don't care, I don't care. Everybody's coming. Yeah, everyone's coming. That's what I feel, that's what I feel where society's at right now. My favorite, I love Adam's societal updates, so thank you. It is great, it is cool. Yeah, all I'm saying is can we just say that we like big tits bouncing on trampolines and

we're done being offended. And can we start calling people the color they are? That's a red guy and those titties, daddy likes. That's a sunburnt guy. And Adam, did you get a lot of messages thanking you for stepping up like that? Did they thank you? They thanked me a lot. They thanked you.

Fuck it! Did anybody? Honestly. Yeah, yeah. I got a lot of people saying, stand up for titties, big titties. I love big titties. A lot of women saying, like, my god, I love it too. Big titties rock.

Who are we kidding? I'd say men and women both, gay guys, straight guys, I love it too. Like, big titties rock. Who are we kidding? Like, I say men and women both, gay guys, straight guys, it doesn't matter. Big titties. Everybody wants titties back. And even small titties. I like all different types of titties. Titties just rock.

They rule. I don't like you guys telling me to show my tits. Did you see such a response that you could kind of see what platform you would run on? Cause I feel like. For what? Like, if I, like. What does that even mean?

Were to be a senator or something, or you know, govenator? Yeah, governor would be really tight. I think right now if I ran to be the governor of California, I'd win. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Punk rock, getting radical. I think almost, almost without a doubt, dude.

Absolutely. If you just run on a kid. He's your back Titties are back baby in California rock suck our dicks Rest of the country that don't think that we're not fucking cool because we're californian more cool as shit Yeah, I think the Californians who are cuz Californian we've been getting dunked on for a while now or people like California It's not cool anymore. We're moving away, ugh, fucking California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're fucking cool, dude.

We're California, we still love tits, we still drink beer. Because when I was a kid in Omaha, Nebraska, you think California, you just think titties on the beach, everyone's tan, everyone's just doing cool shit on the beach. Now you think just a bunch of blue-haired, angry people that are just frustrated.

Yeah, you just think of like Bernie Sanders marches and stuff, that's all you think of. Shout out to Bernie, he's pretty punk rock. I guess, I guess, but you only think of that. You don't think of big tits playing volleyball on the beach anymore, man. Which is what you should anymore man right which is what you should yeah which is what you should almost exclusively you're absolutely right my neck my back yeah God bless California love my back

Adam for governor. Can we end on this? Can we just end on this? Yeah that was another episode of So Soap! This is important! Titties are back in California! I want you to ask yourself right now, how am I actually doing? Because it's a question that we rarely ask ourselves. All of May is actually Mental Health Awareness Month and on the psychology of your 20s, we are taking a vulnerable look at why mental health is so hard to talk about. Prepare for our conversations to go deep. I spent the majority of my teenage years, of my twenties just feeling absolutely terrified. I had a panic attack on a conference call. Knowing that she had six months to live,

I was no longer pretending that this was my best friend. So this Mental Health Awareness Month, take that extra bit of care of your wellbeing. Listen to the psychology of your twenties on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My husband has a secret son from a past partner. Hold up Sam, how do we know how we done the DNA test?

Well, John, luckily it's mother may have a DNA test week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. And this wife writes, my husband received a Facebook message from a woman saying that he is the father of a five year old. Whoa. At first, he didn't remember her, but then he realized they had a one night stand right before we started dating. Wait, but do we have proof he's a dad? To hear the explosive finale,

listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful? The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater podcast network. So join me starting

Tuesday, May 6th, where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2020, a group of young women found themselves in an AI-fueled nightmare. Someone was posting photos. It was just me naked. Well, not me, but me with someone else's body parts. This is Levittown, a new podcast from iHeart Podcasts, Bloomberg, and Kaleidoscope about the rise of deepfake pornography and the battle to stop it.

Listen to Levittown on Bloomberg's Big Take podcast. Find it on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.