This Paranormal Life - #009 Corney The Dickish Ghost
Episode Date: June 6, 2017Can the spirits of the dead come back to haunt the living? If a dhead dies, do they come back as a dhead ghost? Find out as we investigate the legend of Corney the Irish ghost.Support us on Patreon.co...m/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Did St. Patrick really drive the snakes from Ireland?
Is Pepsi-Cola flavored with baby flavoring?
Is Hillary Clinton a demon?
These questions and more on This Paranormal Life!
Welcome to the podcast, this is This Paranormal Life,
the podcast where each week we discuss a different paranormal or conspiracy topic
and we kind of try and myth bust it between each other.
We bounce it off back and forth like a little
beach ball, a little paranormal ghosty beach ball.
A little alien head shaped beach ball.
And then we crack it open like a coconut.
We rip its guts from the start.
Drink the juices inside. We punch it in the
nose and we say, welcome
to earth. That's the podcast catchphrase.
Damn it, why don't we call the podcast Welcome to
Earth? That's pretty good. First off, why would they be putting a baby food flavoring some pepsi that's another story
for another episode okay gee we're getting too deep too deep you know everyone says that you
know all good things are like babies you know you smell like a baby who says that all good things
are like babies it smells like a baby. Fresh like a baby.
Baby fresh.
Babies shit themselves.
But as smooth as a baby's backside.
Yeah.
People do say that, which is a little creepy.
It's getting creepy.
It's getting creepy already.
Rory, I've got a question for you.
Okay.
It's been St. Patrick's Day recently.
Yeah.
And in the spirit of all things irish tell me
how much do you know about corny the poltergeist
corny the poltergeist that's right i would have to say at this point in my life
nothing almost negative intelligence did you even go to school bro as in well yeah because we did a
heritage class we did which is which is like i've told people since then that I did a heritage class.
And they were like, oh, like, you learned about Irish history.
Like, you took quizzes on Irish history.
And I was like, kind of.
We were quizzed on the Dullahan, the Banshee.
The little known Dullahan.
Not a lot of people know about the Dullahan.
Not a lot of people know about the Dullahan.
But, I mean, that's insane that I was once quizzed on how to kill a mythological beast which is by the way
throwing a bucket of blood over its head yeah never forget that you need to take that to the
grave with you wait I think what do you think I keep this bucket with me everywhere Jesus spilling
all over the carpet just here just just hang on to it for a second.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
I think we do.
I never really thought about it before, but I don't think people grasp that.
But at school, we were literally told how to catch leprechauns.
Yeah.
We're not exactly.
Actually, no.
Jesus.
I'm just realizing a lot of stuff is coming back to me now.
Heritage class was a me now. Yeah.
Heritage class was a goddamn joke.
Yeah.
Or did it prepare us for this day and this podcast?
It really did.
The truth.
Jesus, we need to call our old teacher.
Yeah.
Invite her on the podcast.
She is 10 times more insane than we are.
Yeah, she's actually insane.
She brings a leprechaun.
Jesus!
That was all real?
So, yes, so you know about the Dullahan, you know about the leprechauns,
you know about the Banshee, very famous,
but no one knows about Corny, little old Corny.
Yeah, little known story. Well, let's take a trip back to memory lanes of the early 20th century,
about 100 years ago in Dublin, Ireland. Okay. story well let's take a trip back to memory lane to the early 20th century about a hundred years
ago in dublin ireland okay a family let's call them the kelly family just moved into a new street
in dublin around this time mr kelly hurts his knee at work you know back in those times there cushy desk jobs no you had to work in coal mine oil factories gold space the end of the rainbow
facebook uh yeah no cushy twitter instagram snapchat dog dogs you had to work at facebook
people and he was probably like he's probably working since day one. Oh my God.
Think about 100 years ago.
He's out of his mother's vagina.
He's got a little hard hat on and he's sent to the mines.
Off to work.
Canaries dying left, right, and center, but they're still pushing the babies in there.
Shoveling babies.
Oh my God.
Half the time there was no call.
They were just shoveling babies.
Half the time there weren't even canaries.
It was kids dressed as birds in the cages.
Painted yellow.
Painted yellow.
Just dropping.
That's why the old phrase, dropping like babies.
It's true.
We're bringing it full circle to like where we started from.
Baby fresh.
You know the phrase, you move as a canary's backside?
Actually, funny story yeah
poor guy so he's hurt his knee he's hurt his knee you know working hard so much so that he has to
use a crutch i'm surprised crutches were even invented ireland was wait so you got very
backwards place you got an irish guy yes in dublin yes He's got a little crutch. Perhaps a green top hat.
Works in the gold factory.
I just want to...
Okay.
How tall is Mr. Kelly?
We actually don't know that.
He could be...
A foot.
We don't know the specifics.
Oh, no, it says here he's actually three centimeters tall
and his wife was six foot.
Oh, right, right, right.
So I don't think that's relevant, though. Okay. So he has to use a crutch and he keeps this at the end of his bed
well one night after a long day of settling into their new home they're moving furniture but
you know they've got again this is ireland 100 years ago they've got at least 26 children
you know yeah it's hard work mr ke. Kelly and Mrs. Kelly are sound asleep.
Night falls.
Mrs. Kelly is awoken.
She hears a thump, thump.
What's that?
Uh-oh.
A sound of her husband walking on the floor above, kind of erratically, just as you just heard.
Okay.
Oh, because of his crutch foot, because of his... Exactly. He's walking on the floor above with of erratically just as you just heard okay oh because of his crutch foot because of his exactly he's walking on the floor above with his stupid crutch and she's like what the hell is he doing up at this time of night why is he waking everyone up just waking up all 26
children oh my god until she she just kind of gets up rubs her eyes a little bit and looks down
to see there's the crutch so i mean is mr kelly healed or is he just stumbling
about up there no no no she looks over to her side mr kelly's in bed oh my god where is the thumping
coming from is it the babies one of the 26 children just
babies running about left right center before they can even begin to question what is happening,
they hear a booming voice coming from the coal cellar beside...
I told you, coal.
From the coal cellar beside the kitchen.
The voice of a ghost.
Oh!
The ghost tells them his name.
But I shit you not, they forget it almost instantly.
They forget.
The ghost talks to them and tells them
it's so funny because this is like i know that sounds ridiculous yeah but i do that in real life
all the time that's true it's like i'll meet someone and it's like they'll they'll extend
their hand to me and this isn't even a ghostly hand this is a human hand yeah and they'll be
like uh hi i'm steve and the whole time
they're saying that it's like hi i'm rory hi i'm rory hi i'm rory and it's like hey i'm rory and
it's like what did they say oh shit exactly go to like read the room like steal his wallet and id
try and figure it out which with a ghost is very difficult i know you have to follow them back to
their tombstone it's so true you gotta be like oh i didn't know this was your your tombstone kevin kevin okay and you never know it might be an ancient egyptian ghost from egypt
yeah and then you gotta oh the airfares 100 years ago non-existent because there weren't planes
it's true so yeah well that's another story for another day. I think you'll find a plant string invented by the... From negative BC.
Minus 1500 BC.
So they see Kevin the ghost.
Corny the ghost.
Corny the ghost.
So they've forgotten its name.
But this ghost becomes so familiar,
so entwined with the family's lives
that they didn't even bother to ask him
again or try and remember his name they just started calling him corny i don't know where
this comes from story goes that he that he actually corrected them on this they sort of
called him corny the ghost and he was like you know no my name isn't they were like no it's corny
and he he was like fine honestly i guess he hasn't talked to anyone a long time he's just glad of the company he
accepted being called this i love him being like uh it's like it's like no like like don't call me
corny the ghost i like i don't call you kelly the human it's like just ignore i am a ghost yes
but that doesn't matter to be a ghost i happen to be a ghost yes my name is corny just say call me
corny yeah it's like okay corny it's a weird one the ghost don't i heard that i heard you say it yeah under the breath
yeah the ghost the friendly ghost i'm not a friendly ghost i'm a dickish ghost dickish ghost
i'm a douche ghost douche ghost well from that day forward corny spoke to the kellys every single day
from his usual spot in the coal cellar.
And they described his voice as sounding like it came from within a barrel.
Okay.
So at this point, I'm curious as to why the Kelly family just accepted this as a haunting and not just as a home invader.
They're still walking around upstairs and yelling at them.
They're like, probably a ghost you know corny
you're stealing a lot of our shit these days no i'm not shut up yeah picking it all up yeah i think
like regular ghost visits are not a common thing right ghosts are infrequent they are they are
fleeting much like life itself. Much like death itself.
Much like my experience with girls.
Fleeting, rare, virtually non-existent.
As rare as gold itself.
Where there's wit in dust.
Because it is like gold dust.
I would get real sick of this, of a ghost turning up to my house.
Sometimes after I'm done with work, I just want want to go home i want to play some video games i want to
have a nap i'm sure mr kelly wants to do the same thing oh shut up stop playing video games
i would have been down in the baby mine since seven shut the fuck up
uh shut up shut up up, you big women.
But this is what they,
they just decided this was a ghost
and that this is just,
this isn't the beginning of the story.
This is just what went on.
From this point on,
Corny basically decides to mess with everyone in the house constantly.
So this time the Kellys had servants in the house
and they used to sleep in the kitchen quarters.
Of course.
Now this is right beside where Corny lives.
Oh no. As you'd expect, Corny right beside where Corny lives. Oh, no.
So, as you'd expect, Corny's talking smack to them all night long and terrifying them.
I just love, because all I'm imagining now is that this is just the ghost of Conor McGregor.
So, they're in the kitchen.
It's like, Corny, like...
I'm the king of Dublin.
Stop poking me.
It's like, one of these days, Corny, like, we're going to get a priest in here.
And we're going to get you out of there.
No one can fight me. You'll do nothing. You'll do f***ing nothing. No one's better than me. It's like, what are these days, Corny? Like, we're going to get a priest in here, and we're going to get you out of here. No one can fight me.
You'll do nothing.
You'll do f***ing nothing.
No one's better than me.
No one's better than me.
I'm the best ghost.
50 Gs, baby.
He's always floating, but kind of leaning backwards.
Where did he get the coat?
Where did he get a mink coat?
I'm confused about the chains.
Did he die in the chains?
Or those ghost chains? No, these are extremely expensive chains. They're about the chains. Did he die in the chains or those ghost chains?
No, these are extremely expensive chains.
They're not ghost chains.
So understandably, the servants refuse to stay in the house.
So Mrs. Kelly comes up with a solution.
And she says, just how about, bear with us.
Just let's move you guys up to the top floor.
Move you up to the attic.
She moves their beds upstairs.
Everyone's pretty happy with that.
And that night, the servants retire to their quarters finally in peace right no wrong no sooner do they
ghost rises bitch that's straight up science it's like heat yeah exactly like heat like this is the
ghosts of la heath coming through the floor. Wrecking up everything as it passes.
That was probably a basketball they heard throughout the night.
It's like, ghost of Steph Curry.
And there's a ghostly Obama in the sidelines.
Why are the ghosts of celebrities existing in the past? we ghosts before we're humans that's an
interesting thought yeah because that's what people always say is people go i'm scared of dying
but as alan watt said why would you be scared death that's what he's saying right was it
something like that was i close did this well just just not just say like if was that smart though
what i said i mean it wasn't not would you would you would you think
would you think it was smart if confucius said it but just because i say it because i say it's
it's a dumb of me it's dumb socrates did once say that we were we were we were ghosts before we were
humans uh also einstein also plateau said it Yeah And also Socrates said it
So actually I think it's a pretty
Also Socrates
And he was the greatest philosophizer of all of them
Socrates
My boy Socrates
Not to be confused with Socrates
Socrates was a philosopher that
It was his jerk brother.
One of them turned out to be
a great philosopher. The other one turned out
to be a royal pain in his dad's ass.
Socrates,
the infamous.
They added the E to Socrates
and it turned out to be a genius. Who knew?
Socrates is just throwing
shit at animals in the street.
It's like the opposite.
So one distills wisdom that will echo throughout the ages.
The one just lies and just makes stuff up and burns things.
An agent of disinformation.
Agent of disinformation.
That's ironically more cool than being a philosopher.
Yeah.
Agent of disinformation.'m sock rats sock rat
you gotta take away the ass it makes it more bad it does doesn't it hey i'm sock rat
my vocal cords were injured at a very young age
my parents tried to feed me to the wolves,
but no one eats Socrates.
Socrates, invincible.
You look like you're dying, Socrates.
Everyone's in a toga, and he's just, like, butt naked.
Just like
I like the idea of Socrates trying to spread
Like ancient wisdom
Did you know
That the earth
Revolves around the sun
And Socrates
Nah, they're split, nah
Killing him for the crown
Nah, bullcrap
Dad told me you used to piss the bed, Socrates No i didn't we all know you did no i did he's got
a tiny pecker socrates please it's like a tiny town yeah it's at the ancient greece it's like
what had to be that's the only reason his leg at socrates like you see spread so far tiny town
tiny so if you're the smartest person in that village you're basically the smartest person Well, it had to be. That's the only reason his leg at Socrates' leg spread so far. Tiny town. Tiny town.
So if you're the smartest person in that village,
you're basically the smartest person in the world.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what people don't realize.
People are like, people think he was this great genius,
but actually he was just the smartest guy in that little village.
That's like the smartest guy in your local McDonald's.
Which would be Socrates.
Socrates.
His actual name is Socrates.
Yeah, the smartest man in a McDonald's. Probably named Socrates. Socrates. Yeah. Socrates. His actual name is Socrates. Yeah, the smartest man in a McDonald's.
Probably named Socrates.
I like the idea of going to McDonald's and like trying to be polite.
They're like, how can I help you today?
And you like go to read their name badge.
It says Socrates.
Hello, Mr.
Do I pronounce?
It's Socrates.
Just say Socrates.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks, Socrates.
Yeah.
We're back on track.
They move the beds Upstairs
No sooner do they lie down
But Corny swings open the doors to the attic
You devils, I'm here before you
I'm not confined to anyone
Pacing this house
Why is he swinging doors open?
He can go through them
It's like Corny, we know you can go through the doors
Jesus Corny, we know you can go through the doors.
Jesus.
Corny McGregor himself.
Corny was a textbook poltergeist.
He would play tricks and practical jokes on all of the residents,
from hiding objects and making noises and locking and unlocking doors.
One day, a servant was preparing fish for dinner.
She laid it on the kitchen table and looked away for a moment.
As you do, you're busy.
You're in the middle of a big cook for the whole family. You've got to feed 26 goddamn children.
Oh my God, can you imagine?
You've got to mush it into little pots of baby food
for all 26 babies.
Like a penguin chewed up in your own mouth
and regurgitated into their little penguin mouth.
It's a lot of work.
And whenever she looked back,
the fish was disappeared.
She started to cry because it's like these days a
fish is worth like two grand oh my god it's a house this time yeah freaking nice uh she thought
she'd get accused of stealing it and then get her head chopped off or whatever they did back then
right and all of a sudden she hears the voice of corny from the cellar going ha ha there you
blubbering fool is your fish you? And he threw the fish onto the
kitchen floor. No! Can I
reiterate?
Not a ghost.
This is a guy. Because he's picking stuff
up and talking to
them all day long. And he sounds like he's
from within a barrel. But how is...
But then what? So he's just like
Metal Gear soliding his way throughout the house
in objects?
Yeah.
I guess.
Presumably someone would have seen him at this point.
I guess.
Maybe.
I mean, it was dark back then.
I don't know if they had light turning. Also, I know it is a traditional poltergeist thing to play pranks on the family that you're living in.
But the ghostly thing is like turning crucifixes upside down and like leaving blood-stained scratches on
a room and throwing people against the walls not just like pissing on the floors and like locking
and unlocking they're a blubbering fool yeah like this is very this is a man this is a man
okay sorry sorry you know the nature of the podcast that we we always totally open totally
open-minded it could be a ghost it really could whenever the family would buy vegetables and
bring them home corny would hang up the vegetables around the kitchen like a christmas tree
there was one cupboard in the kitchen that if they put anything in he would throw it right back out
again which is pretty funny i mean if i was a ghost that's what i would
do yeah he also kept stealing teaspoons when the kellys asked him where the teaspoons went
he was hiding them in the servants beds i mean that one kind of sounds like the servants were
stealing we're trying to actually steal yeah yeah and they're blaming it on Courtney the ghost, which is not very good. A hundred percent. So I'll be honest, a lot of this sounds like home intruder behavior.
Right.
But we'll keep going.
Sometimes Courtney would say to the Kelly family,
his voice booming from the kitchen cellar as if from within a barrel.
Ha ha, I have a daughter down the street.
I'm going to go see her tonight so I won't be here.
No, he didn't.
He did. What what he has a daughter
a ghost daughter or like a real daughter that he left behind when he died or is he a human that
has a daughter down the street i do like the idea of a ghostly daughter and she's pulling pranks
oh yeah in the street that's that's good yeah like teamwork and she's pulling pranks on the family down the street. That's good.
Yeah, like teamwork.
And she's like, ha ha, you blubbering fools.
You blubbering fools.
I've never seen your dad tonight.
That's quite nice.
I do.
I appreciate that he's still a father.
He's still a family man to the end.
It's true.
On another occasion, he announced, I'm going to have company tonight
if anyone wants any water out of the tank
you should take it before nightfall
because me and my friends are going to use it
ghosts don't need water
no one needs water
he has friends Ryan
he's inviting friends Ryan
like a ghost party
that does sound really funny
pretty cool
how long has this been going on for?
I don't know.
I think it's quite a short space of time.
Because this family are now apparently just having open conversations with a voice in their house.
The paranormal aspect is gone now.
There is a man living in your house stealing your fish.
Throwing your vegetables around the door.
Because all of everything that he's doing is reasonably
explainable yeah i guess like the cupboard thing is a bit weird you can just launch food
we don't know if it was like as soon as they put it in or did it just you know oh right like
snuck in after everyone left yeah which come on that sounds like corny that's classic corny classic
corny um this is great though he says he's going to have friends around if anyone wants any water
out of the tank they should take it before nightfall because his he's going to have friends around If anyone wants any water out of the tank
They should take it before nightfall
Because his friends are going to use it
That night the Kelly family lie in bed
And heard five or six voices in the house
The next morning all of the water was gone
And all their bread and butter
Was covered in sooty handprints
This is so ridiculous
It's the mind people he's it's literally we talked about this at the start
of the episode the the babies from the mine we were taking the piss on people but they literally
do they just came up they just came in the coal mines and took all their bread and butter and
water which at that point is like your lobster and caviar yeah we're eating right now yeah on this podcast because we people
eat today so at one point the kelly family you know they decided enough is enough this is when
shit gets you know this is like classic paranormal task handling like they just go full amityville
and they bring in a priest to task should have day one day one you should have done that really
should have been i know know. That is like,
isn't that funny?
It's like no one.
Now the priest looks
and sounds a lot like
Corny.
Nah, nothing to say
here.
It'll take you 300
euros to, for me to
wait, what was it?
16 fish.
16 fish.
I mean euro.
You sure I'll get them
for you?
Don't worry, I know
where you keep them.
It just goes to the
closet.
Also, is it cool if I have some of my priest friends around tonight
we're going to need a lot of water
we're going to need a lot of priests
to get Corny out
he's an infamous ghost
my father how sooty your fingers are
no no no that's just butter and bread
just crumbs all down his front.
I love that idea.
They're like, we'll call the father.
We'll call Father Cornelius around tonight.
They call him on the telephone.
The ringing's coming from a box in the corner.
I'll be around in a second.
That was awfully fast.
Father Cornelius.
Yes, that's me.
Oh my God.
So they bring around the priest to try and speak to Corny.
But after waiting for a long time...
Oh, shut up.
...Corny won't say a word.
Jesus.
He's shy.
The priest shrugs his shoulders and leaves disappointed.
And Mrs. Kelly then asks Corny, why wouldn't you talk?
And he says, I wouldn't you talk?
And he says,
I couldn't speak to a good man like that.
God wouldn't allow me to speak.
I was a bad man, you see.
I died to death.
Ooh.
Yeah, which is probably the only creepy thing he ever said in his life.
Yeah.
And after that, he was back to classic Corny pranks.
Classic Corny.
Stealing bread, stealing fish.
He constantly joined
in on any conversation going on in the house mrs kelly mrs kelly's uncle used to wear spectacles
and corny used to call him four eyes how how boring is the afterlife that you have to just like float around taking the piss out of like bullying people
childish bullying this is this is like the turn of the century as well this isn't like
yeah because i didn't realize calling people four-eyed was such an antiquated
like insulting term another uncle named richard also came to sleep at the house one night
and complained in the morning that his clothes were pulled off of him.
Whoa, Corny, that's not okay, man.
No, cool, Corny.
I'm going to keep going.
Corny actually only appeared in person twice in his career at this house,
at the Kelly household.
The first person died.
Corny killed them?
Someone died after they saw Corny.
Oh, my God.
The second, a seven-year-old child said that he was a naked man.
Like, as in a ghostly naked man or just an actual naked man in the house?
Because you hear stories of people realizing that there's like...
This used to scare the crap out of me when I was a kid.
Yes.
People living in the attics of houses and then just like coming down when the family are
asleep and like like that really shook me up when i was a kid uh really freaky stuff it was corny
just like the og like the original creep yeah essentially basically i mean like a naked dude
in a house stealing stuff i mean i feel like i'm kind of on Corny's side through half of this story
because he's kind of a lovable prankster.
Yeah.
But now he's appearing naked to seven-year-old children.
That's not okay, Corny.
He killed someone and he took someone's clothes off in the middle of the night.
That's not okay.
No, that's worrying.
So needless to say, the Kelly family were desperate to move out,
but Corny would harass every potential buyer scaring them away oh this is
ridiculous now because look if you get like five house viewings and you're hearing the same voice
not everyone's gonna think it's a ghost right away someone's gonna go into the closet like
into the cold cell yeah but i guess at this point he had a relationship with the kelly family so
mrs kelly just appealed to Corny
and he said,
Corny, please just be quiet
long enough to sell the house.
And he conceded this.
No way.
They sold the house
and that is the last written record
of Corny the ghost.
Because the next family would realize,
hello, new tenants,
I'm Corny the ghost.
Is that a man in the corner?
Oh, no. Oh, shit. No I'm Corny the Ghost. Is that a man in the corner? Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
No, don't call the police.
Sir, you're aware your penis is out.
Oh, no.
There's no clothes in the afterlife.
You're holding several fish, sir.
I think, yeah, they just were not dumb enough to believe that it was actually a ghost.
Much of the story was actually compiled into a paranormal book. An Irish... by cornelius cornelius cornelius selling his own legacy fish bread
and other stories he's got to support his daughter this was compiled into a history of kind of irish
paranormal history this was written in the 90s i believe interestingly
i couldn't chase this up but it did say that at the time of writing they checked the address and
they said the house was actually unoccupied in the 90s oh that site was unoccupied so that's
kind of interesting i wonder did they ever sell the house after that that's crazy that they also
they have like the specific address of the house yeah because you think like if they have that
specific address they would have turned it into some sort of tourist attraction at this point yeah like i wonder if you can go and
like see talk to corny the ghost i would love to do that would be a great road trip we live
are we were we raised in uh northern ireland it's not too far head down bucket of blood for safety
just sure some fish some bread a tank of water a leprechaun with let's see what
happens difficulties thus concludes the tale of corny the ghost so right right you've heard a lot
of facts a lot of hard evidence about this story paint a broader picture where do you lie in ghosts
rory what kind of evidence you've seen over the years? Ghosts are not real.
There is no proof.
It's scientifically impossible.
Okay, end of podcast, I guess.
But in the spirit
of this
paranormal life, I like
to open myself up to any ghosts
in this room right now.
I offer this
opportunity.
Remove these clothes from my body.
Oh, you f***ing little bitch.
That's right, Corny is here.
Corny's in the house.
Corny lives and my daughter,
Corny,
is also here.
Hey, that's right, you little bitch.
I love that, like,
it's the same thing. His daughter's just an even worse egg than Corny
is.
I'm gonna take twice as much
fish as me dad.
We don't have any fish.
What do you eat nowadays?
Uh,
I don't know. It depends.
Well, what are you eating tonight? Uh, I don't know it depends or what are you eating tonight
I don't know
maybe salads
I'm actually extremely hungry
the doctor
the ghost doctor
said I was malnourished
I thought you were a ghost
alright ghosts can be
also malnourished
also I'm having friends on tonight
we'll need to use your Ghosts can be also malnourished. Also having friends around tonight.
We'll need to use your latter tank.
Again, Corny, look, things have changed, man.
Watch your Wi-Fi.
I need to catch up with my friends.
They're dead, Corny.
They're all dead.
No, I mean Ghost Facebook.
Ghost Facebook.
Ghost Facebook. Did Facebook. Ghost Facebook.
Did you mean to say Snapchat?
Aye.
Aye, what's the one with the ghost logo?
Oh, good lord.
I love this idea of him just trying to adapt to modern day life.
Like really struggling.
But still trying to like be a dick. but it doesn't even like matter that much.
Yeah.
He's like,
I took all the water out of the water tank.
We literally have running water.
Yeah.
I killed the canary in the mines.
It'll be shut down for months.
I'm a work as a video producer in the city uh
oh yeah it's all your bread what are you gonna do for next month
oh my god he's choking me he's taking my pants off cordy don't don't like this
this is kind of a tough story because uh often when we hear these
stories of a family or a group of people experiencing the paranormal you can kind of
see an angle in which it would benefit themselves so you got like people investigating bigfoot and
then they'll sell like a story or a book or something it sounds like these people just had
a horrible time couldn't sell their house and then just had to leave eventually.
Yeah, like he didn't make their life so – he didn't like kidnap their daughter and they were able to like write a book about this.
Yeah.
It was just like he took their fish.
Yeah.
He took their water.
Well, that's like – look, we understand a lot about Corny.
We understand his mannerisms, the way his brain works, his little ghost brain.
He wanted to do bad stuff because he's a ghost and that's what ghosts do.
You know, they heckle.
But it seemed like he never wanted to do anything bad enough
that the family would really want him gone.
You know, it's that like feeling of being wanted.
He's like a part of it.
It's like his role to play.
I'm the ghost.
I do a bit of heckling.
They're like, oh, Corny. It's true. He's a bit of it it's like his role to play i'm the ghost i do a bit of heckling they're like oh corny it's true it's a bit of a like tsundere character exactly well i mean he
killed that guy that's true he did appear naked yes in front of a child i mean that that is illegal
to appear naked in front of anyone without their consent yes ghost or otherwise definitely okay so
maybe we shouldn't cut this guy such a brick no No, I'm also fairly sure he was human.
So that...
He was a guy.
Yeah.
He definitely was.
He was a man.
I mean, definitely the having a daughter.
Yeah.
That works against him.
The having friends round.
Leaving soot fingerprints on items that he stole.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm going to probably say man.
But I'd like to, I would actually like to, in further episodes, investigate more of Irish mythology.
Because as you said, we did heritage class.
We talked about mermaids, and I don't think they're specifically Irish.
Oh, no, we didn't.
We talked about what's the one that's like a mermaid, but it begins with an S.
Is it like a siren?
That's very general.
Like a siren's call. general like a siren's call
you know you get
the siren's call
right
and they sing to fishermen
they're like
come closer
maybe that is an Irish thing
I don't know
come to me
yeah
I'd bring your bread
get out of here corny
come to me
and the mermaid's
gonna ghost boyfriend
yeah
it's like
corny the ghost
it's like when girls
like hitchhike
at the side of the road
and then whenever
someone stops the boyfriend comes out of the road, and then whenever someone stops,
their boyfriend comes out of the bushes.
I'm coming too.
Have you got any water?
Also, my daughter's in the back.
It's like, ah, Christ.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Your car gets haunted by Corny forever.
Oh, that would be terrible.
He just plays traditional Irish music on the radio
every single day in Coyote.
Yeah.
It was nice of him to stay confined,
like most uh ghosts who
confined to one location because that's it i don't understand from the context of this story
usually um a ghost that's existing in a house is locked there for a specific reason you know
some traumatic thing that happened there like maybe was he a past resident was he killed in
that house um we don't know we don't know it's very true i mean
it's kind of an interesting thing isn't it it's like they call him a poltergeist because
classic poltergeist behavior he's a young guy you know young naked guy running about the place
you know but he's pulling pranks so it's like it's a weird thing isn't it that like we have
this thing it's like poltergeist young ghosts they just they're like jovial they just like
pull pranks on people but like old ghosts are like mean as shit like yeah grumpy haunting yeah
like maybe that's maybe where whenever you because when you die and you go into ghost form because
ghosts don't age you know you die boom you're in whatever clothes you're in you're in whatever age
you you were so yeah if you just die as a little brat, little punk,
then yeah, you're like, sweet.
Now I got a ghost powers.
I'm never going to age.
I can have as much goddamn fish as I want.
Then I'm going to wedgie people for the rest of time.
I'm going to get the servants fired
by putting spoons in their pillowcases.
Which, can we just clarify now the servants were
trying to steal the spoons 100 percent 100 they're like no i think it was corny he was putting spoons
everywhere if if there's a um there's a subreddit for corny that like fan theory reddit yeah for
corny i mean that would be the number one with the servants made up corny. So they could steal shit. Steal stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, that would make a lot of sense, actually.
But then whose voice is it?
Is it just a stranger's voice?
The mystery lives on.
Or was it, in fact, the ghost of a man that was killed in the mines right beside the house?
A canary, if you will.
A coronary. A coronary.
If you will.
So where do we come on this one, Roy?
Man or ghost?
I'm going to say that if that was even real, that was a man.
That was a straight up man.
This is where I'm like, well, I just made up a story.
So end of podcast.
No.
Yeah, that was a man.
That was a man, right? Cert podcast. No. Yeah, that was a man. That was a man, right?
Certified.
Yeah.
So that wraps it up for this St. Patrick's Day episode.
But if you have your own paranormal tales,
your own St. Patrick's Day paranormal tales
of being haunted by the ghost of booze past
and vomiting it up the next morning, Saturday 18th,
do write in to us. If you have your own paranormal stories booze past and vomiting it up the next morning, Saturday 18th.
Do write in to us.
If you have your own paranormal stories that you'd like us to investigate,
email us in at thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com.
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