This Paranormal Life - #046 Phantom Kangaroos are Haunting America

Episode Date: January 30, 2018

CRIKEY! Kangaroos have started appearing all over the US! But have these foreign fiends escaped from zoos OR are they much more likely phantom beasts hopping to earth from another dimension? Lets find out as Rory and Kit #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can you brush your teeth too much? Do mice live beneath the cities in their own little mini civilizations? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Welcome to the podcast, I'm going to be your host for this week, Rory Powers! As always. And I'm joined by my co-host, best pal, brother, and lover, Kit Greer. I'm sorry, I just got thrown. We're not lovers.

Yep, snuck that right in there. Anyway, so what we do on this podcast is every week we examine a brand new paranormal tale. And as professional paranormal investigators, we will come to the conclusion at the end as to whether or not it is true or a load of baloney uh we have decades of research behind us we have years of regretful research in front of us it's true they say that um too much focus on the past leads to depression too much focus in the future leads to anxiety yeah i got ghosts in front of me ghosts behind me i don't know what you want to call that but it's bad why does no one talk about the present because i'm sad now well kit it could be worse all right

because while we may be sad little pathetic men most most people in their lives, like us, live not having to think about what it would be like to come face to face with a giant muscle-bound beast. Muscle-bound beast? Muscle-bound beast. We live in London, okay? And there simply aren't that many animals around here that can F us up. It's true. Not since St patrick drove all the muscly beasts out of england exactly now we live back in the 80s or 90s africa has lions

right antarctica has killer whales for christ's sake and especially australia one of the most dangerous places on the earth now Now that you're right about. I know we got some Australian listeners. Yeah. I would like to know how do you live? How do you get out of bed in the morning? I assume there are spiders in your shoes. Spiders in the shoes. Snakes in your hair.

Your bed is just the mouth of a lion. You just kind of nestle in there. Expect him to swallow and if he doesn't congrats you get to live another day yeah it's crazy because they speak english they're like me and you they you know they look the same they dress the same but everyone in that country is a is a goddamn expert survivalist a maniac if you will yeah yeah honestly i've never been but i assume you know you know when you're like flying to a country and uh before the plane lands they make

maybe give you like a brochure of what you can do or like immigration forms yeah yeah australia is probably they just hand out harpoons and shields it's very much like battle royale you've seen that your air drop your air dropped a weapon a randomized weapon if you're lucky you get a gun if you're unlucky you get yourself before you hit the ground if you're unlucky you get a spoon to shoot yourself with spoon out your eyeballs or something um but as i said as sheltered l London millennials, none of these creatures are ever going to mess with us. It's not something we have to worry about. Or are they? That was a quick 180. Go on.

The year is 1978. And Patricia Wilcox, a school bus driver, was cruising down a multi-lane road in Wisconsin. The road's pretty full full but the cars are moving quick you know and it's a nice sunny day so she doesn't mind that much enjoying the cruise yeah yeah all of a sudden she can hear honking in front of her something's happening down the road okay she manages to catch a glimpse of some sort of group of animals darting across the road cars are now swerving, slamming on their brakes, trying to avoid these creatures. And where did you say this was again?

Wisconsin. Wisconsin. So I don't know what Wisconsin's like. Maybe some deer, maybe some elk. I think that's what they're assuming it is. Okay. But it's not long before one driver plows right into one of the beasts,

head on. It's not looking good for the animal. If this is a deer, it's been obliterated. Yeah. It's not going to survive a animal. If this is a deer, it's been obliterated. It's not going to survive a crash like that. But all of a sudden, Patricia watches as the creature rises from the floor and hops away, bouncing into the distance. Patricia has just become one of the earliest reported witnesses of a creature known as the phantom kangaroo so are you excited about the next hour i'm confused and annoyed uh so you said it was a bright sunny day bright sunny day good visibility obviously day. Good visibility, obviously. Very high visibility.

No one even had their lights on. It was like bright sunny day. She saw something get hit by a car and then escape. Was it a deer or not? It was a phantom kangaroo. I feel like I illustrated that in bold. It's actually capitalized on the page. So it wasn't... Okay, so it was a kangaroo. If you can't accept this now,

we're going to have a lot of problems moving forward. All right? So it's just that you've said that it is something which prior to this story, no one thought to ever exist. I think Patricia would argue with you, actually, sir. You're going to need to just explain a little bit of what that is, what it looks like uh i will not and i will instead continue with the story so combative okay uh

fine so so it's a so it's a kangaroo it's a for all extensive purposes it's a kangaroo someone hit a loose kangaroo in wisconsin okay to which can A place to which kangaroos are not native. Yeah. All right. Now you'd think this would be the only sighting of said kangaroo. You're just rubbing your temple. You're like, I don't want to be here for the next 45 minutes. But if you did think that, Kit, you'd be wrong.

All of a sudden, kangaroo sightings start appearing all over Wisconsin. After this first incident yes one couple named greg and janet nappy and tech i'd never read that out loud before not making it up on the story rory usually has notes in his hand today is just sitting eyes closed frowning clearly thinking as hard and fast as he can hopping on the spot he's doing that thing where he's smacking his lips as if he's like trying to nap your tech think of the next plot line they were driving down a country road when they saw what appeared to be a strange looking deer.

It's not a deer though. A deer on two strong legs. They're hopping around. Deers have pretty strong legs as it is. So these were noticeably stronger. Deers and kangaroos look very different. like deers and kangaroos look very different i think you would have to be very blind to look at a deer and think why does that deer have a smaller deer in its belly pouch like i think i know what maybe these stories are getting at which is is they in the back of their heads are going it can't

be a kangaroo right they're not native exactly i mean like you don't think that when you go to a zoo. That's true. You're not like, is that a, oh my God, they're kangaroos. Like, that is how a zoo works. We bring animals from other places here. But this is the wild. There's no, there's no new laws in the wild. You ever heard of the law of the goddamn jungle? The law is anything goes.

So there are no laws in the jungle. So says the judge of the jungle jungle the law is anything goes so there are no laws in the jungle so says the judge of the jungle the lion greg said and i know one of the things you're worried about this episode is that you know talking about kangaroos i'm gonna be offensive to the our australian audience so don't worry about that, mate. Jesus. I've been practising accents in the mirror for hours. I think I f***ing nailed it. Greg said, we were pretty close, within about 30 to 35 yards. He stood up and I really couldn't believe what I was seeing.

It was four feet tall, colored like a deer. Janet thought it was a deer until it stood up on its hind legs and then jumped over a ditch and fled. She said it was a kangaroo. So just to clarify, these people

were from Wisconsin. Wisconsin natives, born and bred never left i obviously just wanted to do the australian accent to illustrate their knowledge of wildlife um but even then they couldn't believe that it was a kangaroo either it's true it is the voice of a survivor someone who's knowledgeable in nature yeah i mean who's the most um brave knowledgeable um person of all time? Steve Irwin. And that is the voice of a professor. Like all these stories that we've told on the podcast before,

things start kicking off, all right? Or I guess you could say hopping off. The newspapers get wind of these sightings, and all of a sudden kangaroo fever hits the state. You know, you got a kangaroo court, you could say. Sudden kangaroo fever hits the state. You know, you got a kangaroo court, you could say. Groups of men begin banding together for quote-unquote kangaroo hunts. Really?

Attempting to capture these elusive beasts. Jesus, this is how... I mean, for sure, bring in professionals. Right. There are pest control people. There are sort of domestic animal control people. People whose entire livelihoods uh is keeping control of animal populations keeping control of um non-indigenous animal populations so they don't uh swarm habitats and cause environmental destruction

um tell them i think rather than band together in vigilante groups of kangaroo hunters sometimes you gotta seize the moment chief well especially as well because these people apparently they thought they could hunt them using air horns what i don't know why you would do this the only reason what can you hunt in the world with an air horn well it's like ravers i don't know you know how um like uh you have like bird mating calls and like coyote mating calls i guess if you blow into it it's like and that to them is like i want to bang i want to bang but if you i guess like a club banger to them. I want to get it on. But if you duct tape an air horn to a kangaroo mating flute and blast it through that, it would be so intense that kangaroos across the nation would just hear like,

I want to f*** now. Like, let's go. To combine those two songs, if you could repeat what you just said and i'll do an air horn on the count of three okay one two three that is the noise that is essentially being blasted over the wilderness that's what kangaroos hear it like anyway angry and horny it's actually our new podcast we're starting this week welcome to angry and horny we've gone wrong somewhere um it even go as far as one man making his own kangaroo costume to lure them into traps.

Really? That seems dangerous. You don't want to blare an angry, horny, I want to f*** air horn for kangaroos and then dress up as a kangaroo. Be like dancing. Twerking in this kangaroo outfit. Playing like whatever sexy kangaroo music sounds like they hadn't thought this through but the problem was that incidents were so spread apart that sightings would often be miles away okay uh making it very difficult to pin down any one location to hunt

okay sure so as you can imagine little to no luck with hunting the kangaroos okay but not everyone was as mad and passionate as these drunken redneck hunters who as we know from researching many stories are the most passionate people in the world right many wisconsin residents figured the whole thing was a hoax cool maybe it's just to drum up some publicity for the towns it's not real people are seeing deer there's obviously no kangaroos in wisconsin i would love to see the town hall meeting where they're brainstorming like tourism like ideas one guy's like well we do make um good cheese here in Paris, Wisconsin. We sell a lot of peanuts.

I guess we could start some sort of, you know, agriculture-based, you know, gift store, try and bring people into the night. Say, we are, you know, Peanut Town, USA. Someone's going, or Little Australia, the only place in the world you can see kangaroos outside of Australia. I love it.

It's like, yeah, we could um you know drum up do talent shows town meetings big festivals it's like i don't think that's really hitting the mark think let's think where do people want to visit more than anywhere else in the world the australian outback the australian out. You're right. And what does it have? Kangaroos. Like the most uneducated men running this town. Where do people like to go? Where it's hot.

And sandy. Really prejudiced as well. It's like we could set up a little town called, you know,is we'll fill it with stinky cheese rude people and it's like and then we'll have little england for everyone who has up teeth and we'll serve tea that tastes like shit then we'll go to little little shanghai, stop it. Stop it right there. This is getting racy. A lot of people think it's a hoax,

but the Wisconsin Agricultural Department took the sightings very seriously. What? And even went as far as to issue a press release warning citizens to beware of the phantom animals. Oh, shut up. What? Oh, shut up. I may have added phantom to that sentence. Okay, so you said animals? Maybe it was animals.

Maybe it was phantom. Okay. What anemia? Yeah. I thought anemia is just when you like don't eat enough spinach or that's what i thought as well that it's like a lack of hemoglobin hemoglobins right or something like that yeah it's like your blood's not getting they can carry it in some form and i don't know it was in the goddamn article all right and i took it as gospel this is a crazy story.

Worried citizens, if they come across one, they wrote, should check the animal's lower lip for a tattoo for proof of inoculation against the disease. What? How are you going to get that close to a kangaroo? I know. What, if it's dead? Is that the idea? Well, phantom or otherwise, you should not approach a kangaroo and try and lift its lip up.

Definitely not. Tattoo it on his forehead or something. I've seen videos of kangaroos boxing, okay? Yeah. They are the Mike Tysons of the Australian Outback. If you try and lift up a kangaroo's lip, he will kick your teeth into your mouth. You will die. You will die.

He doesn't even need to be a special type of kangaroo for that to happen. Although now that I'm thinking about it, it seemed kind of rude putting those kangaroos in boxing matches, seeing as they have massive legs and tiny, tiny arms. It's a cruel irony. Which you're not allowed to use those legs in boxing. That's very mean. Despite the sightings

and the warnings and the kangaroo hunts officials never found the kangaroos and no one could explain the strange incidents now it would be strange enough if these were the only phantom kangaroo sightings in the u.s but there have been loads what so many like in recent times yeah up until i think 2009 jesus and riffing on this four years earlier than this case in wisconsin around 1974 in chicago a kangaroo was reported loose in the city really now this is this is actually really funny uh while i was researching this story i found two different descriptions of how this situation panned out from the kangaroo's perspective and from the people's perspective the kangaroo actually said there was a lot of unnecessary police brutality that went into it uh so i thought i'd read out both of the the descriptions of the situation

the first one says police officers managed to trap the beast in an alleyway. You know, freeze! Don't move, you hoppy bastard! Guns raised. But before they could

capture it, it leapt over a giant fence. No, that is like in the movies whenever they scale the wire fence. Yeah.

Now, was this leap enough to prove that the kangaroo was some sort of specter? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how high a kangaroo was some sort of specter i don't know yeah i don't know how high a kangaroo can jump i think this was a big jump is that something we should look up yeah let's do that right now so we went online to find out how high a kangaroo can jump and

hard cut later we're now watching a youtube clip of a boxing match between a man and a kangaroo i don't feel good about this i don't feel good they've also given the kangaroo like gloves which i think if anything is going to be counterproductive it's going to be worse and the kangaroo is trying to fight the referee at this point which i think is fair the dude's not really punching him he's kind of like egging him on like jazzing him a bit actually that was pretty dude those are pretty hard punches this is definitely not legal for sure not illegal what country is this oh my god yeah yeah the kangaroo dealt a few pretty hardcore blows that guy's uh stomach ah it's in russia of course okay that makes a lot of sense okay i'm sorry for that detour guys guys. So we knew it jumped extremely high.

Eight feet? I mean, that could be over a fence. It could be. It's pretty high. Or he could have floated, as phantoms do not abide by the laws of gravity, as we know. That's true.

The other telling of the story. Two police officers cornered the giant kangaroo in a dark alley when one officer tried to handcuff him the kangaroo screeched and became vicious whoa punching the officer in the face and then kicking them in the shins when more squad cars arrived the kangaroo took off at high speeds clearing a fence and disappearing into thin air wow thoughts he sounds uh like a bad boy actually i'd like to meet this kid i actually might use that whistle and air horn to see if he's interested i mean obviously the second one is the true one yeah there's more description descriptive yeah i like that i like the idea of multiple squad cars turning up to take down this kangaroo

and the you know the cops like you're going away for a long time bro and he's like you pig getting his head slammed on the bonnet and everything I hope you know I got boys on the outside Phantoms and regulars They're gonna be coming for your kids chief They're gonna kick your wife in the balls This kangaroo's really malicious I know what the inside of your house looks like Hope Timmy's sleeping safe tonight

Cops crying Shut the f*** up Shut up Looks like. Hope Timmy's sleeping safe tonight. Cops crying. Shut the f*** up. Shut up. Shut up. I know you, Pete. I'm in your head. I got you right where I want you.

In a little pouch in the front of my f***ing belly. Like a Charles Manson of kangaroos. Gangstaroo. Oh, man. Later, the newspapers reported sightings of a kangaroo in Indiana and Illinois. But again, no kangaroo was ever caught. What are your thoughts so far? I mean, this is mad. Right, right.

It's quite interesting that these are all kind of, I don't know my geography too good, right it's quite interesting that these are all kind of i don't know my geography too good but these are kind of midwestern um states i guess the kind of places that kangaroos maybe could live i mean you're not going to find it in like toronto yeah very cold uh in terms of north america you're going to find it like maybe more south maybe more midwest that's true and as we know real kangaroos can only live in certain climates. Phantom kangaroos can live anywhere, anytime. That's true. In any place.

So the fact that there, as far as I know, haven't been any sightings in very cold areas would lead me to believe that, I don't know, maybe there's something more not paranormal going on here. The other thing is... But what? But what then? Zoos? Escaped kangaroos from zoos? I'll get onto that later.

On the conclusion and evidence section. Yes, 1974 was the year of the great escape. Irrelevant, though. It's f***ing Zook and how that's... Now I know what you're

thinking, alright? Oh, these sightings were in the 1970s. That was ages ago. Any kangaroo that would be alive then would be dead now. Right, I guess, yeah. But not phantom kangaroos. They're unkillable, I think.

And sightings have continued granted sightings have continued up until nowadays what there have been at least 20 reported sightings of kangaroos in the u.s over the last several years jesus this suggests that the beast cannot die like ra himself he is immortal. Or they're just multiplying, they're just having babies, I don't know. One possibility, yes.

Or like Ra himself, they are immortal. Okay, true. As we discussed in the bonus episode, which you can check out if you're a member of the Patreon, Ra takes many forms. Beetles,

a man with the head of an ox, a full ox We did cover this Could he not take the form Of a kangaroo Of a roo Well we did Ra roo

Roo ra Praise roo ra I think I'm having a stroke Praise roo ra roo ra Whatever will be will be Who's to say that this isn't a rura a sentence so i mean we did cover this though and never once was it suggested that ra could take the form of a kangaroo that's probably because there were no kangaroos in ancient egypt not even phantom

kangaroos not even phantom kangaroos now as you can tell kit from the stories we've talked about today these aren't normal kangaroos in fact many people have blamed them for killing and mutilating animals really something that kangaroos just don't do. It's true. They don't. Animals such as sheep, horses, birds, rabbits, and smaller animals. All presumably kicked to death by their massive, muscly legs. One was even said to have carried a sheep in its mouth while it fled. What? I assume in its mouth and not in its little pouch. Yeah. That's terrifying though.

Imagine just, I don't know you get that feeling like you're being watched or followed one day yeah you look around there's an eight foot kangaroo behind you and it doesn't even kick you it doesn't even attack you with its mitts but it just starts stuffing you in its pouch terrifying that is terrifying because those pouches as we know, are filled with goo. Yes, I know that from watching The Simpsons. It's really pretty gross. You'd think it would be like a snuggly pouch.

You could just kind of hop in. But no, it is like a goo-filled sack. Yeah. That's pretty disgusting. Yeah. One of these phantom kangaroos apparently even attacked a horse, leaving a giant gash across its chest another was allegedly hit by a car in 1981 but the corpse and the driver disappeared before it could be

investigated now the logical explanation for this obviously is that these are as you said escaped zoo animals but there are only two cases of kangaroos missing from American zoos, and they were both in 1968. Wow. Only two cases. Wow. Only two cases. Reported cases. So unless people are just not telling the government. Leaking roos. 24-7. Yeah. I guess, so 1968, you could hypothesize that kangaroos got out and banged and made whole

armies of kangaroos yeah but that's not very likely i mean obviously more likely is the fact that phantom kangaroos are hopping out of the afterlife and traversing the real world of humans it's one of the two i know where i'm placing my money so i'm gonna come down on us both saying that we're dealing with ghost creatures with abnormal strength a taste for meat and the power to vanish into thin air explanations vary as far as it being linked to genetic mutation or alien experiments or even creatures from another planet or dimension wow you know this could be any type of cryptid that just closely resembles a kangaroo. Yeah. But as we said, you know, this would be weird enough if they were existing just in a warm place. These phantom kangaroos have also been spotted in Japan, Europe, and other countries

where kangaroos are not native. More explanations range from misidentified dogs or deers to the theory that they aren't kangaroos but a different type of cryptid called a devil monkey. Who makes these names? Which I did. I did look up the devil monkey and it does not look like a devil or a monkey.

Oh, really? No, it looks kind of weirdly like a kangaroo. monkey oh really no it looks kind of where are they like a kangaroo no it just looks like i don't okay i'll show you a picture it looks like kind of like a man oh so this is this is kind of interesting so this sounds like it's um maybe closer to what these phantom kangaroos look like than a regular kangaroo because i think maybe for the listener certainly for me some of the trouble i have with this case is that i'm just imagining a kangaroo yeah this is hard to imagine they're called phantom kangaroos because of their elusive mysterious nature and the fact they resemble kangaroos yes one of these things up close might have goddamn fangs yeah it could have motherfucking gills could have anything webbed

feet if you've come from the afterlife you pretty much get to it's like in a video game design your own character yeah like you beat the game once you get to come in again with maxed out weapons yeah and like a big old hog that is what uh the devil monkey reportedly looks like it kind of looks like a lemur or a or a meerkat but five foot tall and quite muscly with giant glowing yellow eyes exactly now who's to say though if one of them hunched over kind of back straight and hopped around you wouldn't think upon first look that that's a kangaroo look at the tail yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so maybe these people seeing these these apparitions running about hopping across the land are actually seeing other cryptids unexplained but obviously just linking it to kangaroos it's

very true you know and we've talked about it many times in the podcast before um you know back in the days we haven't quite covered it all but back in sumerian times you know there were helicopters running around in 2000 bc people don't realize but the plague of locusts in the Old Testament, that was actually blackhawk helicopters. I think that's common knowledge. We don't need to get into that. Yeah. If you don't know that by now, you are legitimately a moron.

Yeah. So, you know, but back then they didn't know how to put that into words because they'd never seen a black helicopter. Yeah. So they just called it like locusts or whatever they knew to look like that. Exactly. So maybe. I think we're seeing the same thing here yeah these people are seeing these goddamn hopping demons yeah these roo-rahs and we only know that's a kangaroo one roo-rah that knows how to jump that high a goddamn roo just a roo yeah so i've given you some stories today kit a lot a hefty amount of evidence and i i don't want you to steaming pile of evidence i don't want you to hop to conclusions um mate

but um i hope we're on the same page so that was my worst one yet i think my thoughts are clear in my own head i think the audience's thoughts are clear in their own head i think we've come to a nice conclusion i think so too let's uh but let's hear where you what you think objectively you've done the the research here what do you make as evidence right um i i went hunting for evidence on the internet. You know, when we say evidence, we're talking YouTube videos. We're talking DNA footprints. High quality shit. Hair samples. But, uh-oh, they're ghosts.

They don't leave shit behind. This is infamously hard to f***ing track. This is you talking to the police. They're like, Rory, you need to be serious. You're going away for a long, long time. I love the idea of us getting paid

to be like ghost hunters and go to hotels and people's houses to like fix the horrible paranormal situations. It's like, well, did you find anything? See, the only problem is

it's a f***ing ghost. So, duh, there's nothing here. But we do need an advance, actually, on the payments. So, of course, I've dusted the place for fingerprints. But actually, guys, it's a ghost. So good luck with that. Yeah, do you actually have any CCTV camera footage?

Because I need that immediately so I can put it in the bin, you idiot! It's a ghost! It's like an old couple that run a B&B. We're being so rude to them. I know. They call up our paranormal investigation service like, we think we're being haunted.

Could you look into it and see if something could be done? And we're being haunted could you look into it and and and see if there's something could be done and we're like good luck good luck if you bring haunted okay how are we as mortals gonna stop a ghost okay you think we're just gonna swan in there and just like tell it to leave or like go home or whatever why don't you wait a month or two till y'all are dead and ask him yourself, f***ers. We're wearing badges that say, ask me about ghosts. We were so facilitating up until this point.

We offer free consultations and everything. So much money and time wasted. Someday in the middle of us, like, condescending someone, telling them they're a f***ing idiot, you just start getting choked and lifted off the ground by a ghost. Oh my god! Kicked in the balls by a roo. Shit!

So I tried to look up a lot of evidence for these creatures. As I said, ghosts don't leave a lot behind. The only ones are literally just sad videos I could find of people hitting kangaroos with their cars by accident. Like just driving at night and like hitting a kangaroo or one of them darting across a field. In the United States or in Australia? The description says in the US. Okay.

And phantom kangaroo, but it could literally be anywhere. Yeah. I could be just a video of a kangaroo that someone recorded on holiday I'm a professional you know I can't just take that as evidence and it's tricky because as far as I understand

and Australians listening can correct us on this but from what I understand you've got about 70 kangaroos to one person in Australia and like there's a real issue with big like mobs of these kangaroos running about the place. So I'm sure they do get knocked on all the time. But they also don't exist in any other country but Australia. That is true.

So it's something that's... Sorry. Where the streets run brown with kangaroos. So it's something incredibly ordinary ordinary in australia and literally paranormal anywhere else in the world which is actually a really cool way of looking at it i think um but in terms of my conclusion and the evidence found i mean short of this being Ra reincarnated in Roo form as a Roo-Ra, I don't think this is real. I think people have made up stories. I think people have seen deers hopping about and, you know, thought it was a kangaroo.

I don't think it's real. Unfortunately, it's going to be a no from me this week. And it's going to be a no from me. I've watched enough videos of cars walking on two legs to know that this could have been anything blasting milk from his udders blind to take out cctv cams so unfortunately this week it is in fact another double no but it was a fun one right it took us to some crazy places wisconsin my head is scrambled to be honest with you i need a big old nap in a slimy pouch uh but thank you so much for joining us for this episode of this paranormal life if you want more episodes uh every month including

merch and other cool additional items you can check it out by going to our patreon which is the this paranormal life patreon where uh from as little as two dollars a month you can get your hands on some really cool additional stuff every month we also have our uh community facebook page which is the this paranormal life secret society every every week that page gets more members yeah and we announced it months ago why are you people waiting so long to join there is some eye-opening shit going on in that page that i feel like half y'all aren't even seeing if you don't see the information on that facebook page you're going to miss the reckoning next week okay let's

everyone who listens podcast is going to be on goddamn in hyde park next week wearing blue uh overalls and nike trainers drinking kool-aid like there's no tomorrow because there is no tomorrow oh yeah a lot of the patreon funding has gone towards kool-aidid. Massive supplies of Kool-Aid because when the rapture comes, me and Kit want NFL-style buckets of poisoned Kool-Aid dunked over us as we give one last praise and enter the eternal vessel up into the Golden Gates.

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you want us to investigate or any of your own experiences with the paranormal, email us at thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com i think that about wraps it up for this week so a special thank you to everyone who has pledged on patreon thus far we could not do it without you uh really from the bottom of our hearts it makes the podcast possible

and uh we would like to thank some of you specifically right here on the podcast. Here we go. Are you ready? Thank you so much to Anthony Ramirez. Anthony, people say you are as small as an ant, but I think you're as big as an anthill. Still small, but not as small as everyone's saying. Felipe Flores. Felipe, the floor is always Felipe, you're, you're, the floor

is always clean when you're around because you, Jesus, I've got nothing. Float like an angel. Your feet don't even touch the ground.

Thank you for saving me for that one. Jesus. Simple, ineffective. Monique. Monique. Thank you so much

for supporting the podcast. Monique, if you have a clique, I'd like to join eat uh sarah lovell i love l you sarah i really do i love l you just imagining people with names that don't really sound like love chris lobe i lobe you i lobe you hard. Oh, this one actually is Chris. Chris Kleeman.

Chris, you are the Kleeman. You are the man, Chris Kleeman. Greg Hayward. Greg, hey, where'd you go? Hope it wasn't far, Chris. Stick around. Hey, it's Greg. Greg.

Paul Garmston They say Paul Garmston has the sickest garms of all I didn't have anything better, so Chris Smith Chris Smith is my favorite time of year I love Chris Smith Thank you for contributing to the Patreon We appreciate it a lot It is very much a Christmas

gift to us. Amy Bryan. Amy Bryan, I am sick of trying to be your friend. Just accept the request. I've been poking you. I've DM'd you on Twitter, Insta,

Facebook, LinkedIn, Bebo, Myspace, direct message. Not DMs, but direct messages in putting it through her letterbox. And I'm yet to hear back. As in popping an envelope in her back pocket. She wasn't looking. Popping a package full of Barbie heads through the chimney.

And still no friend request. Amy Bryant, come on.vin farrell kevin farrell he's a good man he's a great soldier we fought together in the first world war of all time world war ii the one that really counted i say that because i wasn't born for the first world war my first world war um again short simple to the point sean sean bon jovi sean bon jovi you've written many bangers and uh we appreciate that you keep us fueled joe boris joe boris i'd like to sample some of your Boreys. Maybe some Straw Boreys. Some Razz Boreys.

You're a good man. You're a good fruit. And a great soldier. And a great soldier. James Ashmore. I'd like to change your name to James Firemore. Because you've got a lot of years left in you james you're not ash just yet buddy uh paul egerton uh paul you're a little too eager to get on this show paul if many of you don't know this but he's been trying to slide into our messages and you thought

you would take some of his tactics that didn't work. To befriend, yeah, the other woman. It's just not working, unfortunately. Thank you to Shan Stevenson. Shan, you are the man. Well done. That's it. Don't look at me like you expected something f***ing clever. It rhymed, alright?

That's good enough. Shan loves rhymes. You ready for this? If I know one thing about Shan, she loves rhymes. Because Shan is like the word orange or silver. It doesn't rhyme with anything. So she thrives on rhymes. Right.

Ray McFartsum. That's low-hanging fruit there, isn't it? I'm going to say, Ray, you are the rays of sunshine in my life that beam down on me and melt my skin In a really good way Thank you to G Oatman You are the G O A T The greatest of all time

And we appreciate your support Brian Lecombe Brian is lion Brian's never lion He's a proud man He's a good strong lion I would serve beside him Any day of the year

Brian Varney Brian Varney We actually When I first moved to London We had a house together Yeah he was my first flat share He lived in the basement I lived in the attic

And we called the middle No man's land And every day we would Yeah throw projectiles at each other down the stairs. Thank you. Lastly, not leastly, mostly with the hostly, James Nesbitt. James Nesbitt, famous Northern Irish actor, rival for life, both in and out of the dojo. We actually went side by side in a lot of auditions in the early days in Northern Ireland.

Despite him being 50 years my senior, he always bested me, even in child roles, frankly. It was very infuriating. Yeah, I was perfect for it. It was written for me by my own family, actually. I mean, he would go in, do his interview

and come out and i would immediately burst in after him and say how many push-ups did james do i guarantee you i will do 10 more um a lot of the times push-ups were not required for the role no no never my athleticism was frowned upon as the role was for um spindly thin old men yeah uh and the years of push-ups have made me quite jacked disturbingly so um so uh i'm actually more of a hunchback my doctor uh says why he says my next push-up could be my last and but the whole time i just hear james's cackle uh in the distance laughing at me and my with his spindly arms that is beautiful smile uh i think that's everyone right that's everyone for now we'll be shouting out more names as the show progresses obviously so if you hadn't heard yours yet you just hang in there guys it's coming don't worry

about it um as always thank you so much for listening to the show and we will be back next tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale thank you so much for listening to the show and we will be back next tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale thank you ciao