This Paranormal Life - #047 Killing Aliens with a Samurai Sword on Stardust Ranch

Episode Date: February 6, 2018

Alien greys, FBI agents, murdered scientists on the brink of scientific breakthrough, orbs, and samurai swords - and all taking place on a god damn puppy farm. This episode truly has it all. Get ready to lose your sanity as we explore the world of Stardust Ranch, Arizona!Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

if you die in a video game do you die in real life do goats scream like men because bad people get reincarnated as goats answers to these questions and more on this episode of this paranormal life hey welcome back to the podcast it is tuesday once again you're joined by your two favorite paranormal investigators in the whole wide city-state area. Yeah, outside the city there are much better ones than us. Much more handsome, much more intelligent. My name is Kit Greer. This guy's name is Roy Pars. Welcome, Roy. Thank you. Good to be here. How are you feeling? I'm feeling pretty amped up, actually. Yeah. I'm itching for a taste of the paranormal. I've got more than a taste. I've got the whole pot. I'm drowning. I can't breathe. You know when you leave rice on the cooker for too long and it starts to boil over so you have

to turn off the gas? There's no turning off this gas. And the rice is a ghoul. It's an angry ghoul. And he doesn't like being boiled. And he doesn't like rice either. He like the comparison as always we're just going to jump right into it no faffing about with this one absolutely not the year is 1996 and john edmonds and his wife joyce are just a regular couple nothing weird about them john's a therapist and a psychiatrist and his wife joyce is a former f FBI agent. Nothing weird. Just the use. Just the use. Just like my mom and dad. Exactly.

One of them goes off in the morning to consult people about their emotional problems. And the other one hides goddamn alien secrets. Yeah. Who's to say the man shouldn't go give that little alien boy some therapy? You know? Swap the roles up a little bit. I'd like to see like a reality TV show, wife swap style TV show where we send this psychiatrist to the FBI for a day.

Yeah. He had to die. And we send an FBI. He was exposed to some very classified information and he had to be killed before the show was aired. This couple, well, they've been saving their hard earned for a long time to do what we all dream of doing to buy a ranch in arizona oh right yeah and i guess you

know when you've seen too much as an fbi agent you just want out you want out of the business you want away from it all you want to go to a ranch in the wilderness exactly why did they want all that space i hear you ask for i didn't ask a very normal very nice reason uh they wanted to start an animal rescue center for rescued horses and that is nice that's extremely wholesome again you know you've done some bad shit in your life maybe as an if i know judgment here no judgment who hasn't you know you you have a partner you've slit a few alien throats you know you've um slit a few human throats yeah for that For that matter. You've maybe overturned a couple Middle Eastern democracies or something like that. Listen.

Who hasn't? Who hasn't? You know what will make up for that click of a finger? Giving Fido over here and Ponyta a nice little retirement. I don't know why. Why do they want to set up an animal rescue ranch in the middle of nowhere? That sounds like the small print is, I want to kill more animals. I want to eat them when they die.

Yeah. Kind of thing. I want to rescue them to a point where no one can hear them scream. I want to rescue them so good they want to die. Because you're also moving to a place where presumably animals aren't in any sort of danger. Well, that's true. The wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true i would have

imagined i mean i've never been to arizona i've been to near arizona and it was hot as shit and nothing lived there now i don't believe all of arizona is like that but it's probably pretty uncomfortably hot right so why make a little petting farm there i don't know you don't set up a zoo in the jungle it doesn't work they already live there you just put a little fence around them and you've got a zoo i guess i know what you mean yeah the point of a zoo is you take animals from where they do not belong to sorry you take them from where they belong to where they do not belong right and put a fence around them so they can't escape you almost let it slip that you believe all animals should be caged and zoot.

Well, you see what you want to do with all animals, really. Those unpredictable little bastards. Tigers, all of them. They have those animal minds. Not like us humans. I'm scratching my armpits at this point. You need a banana? Not like us humans.

You're shitting. You're shitting now. And you're throwing it, to say the least. You have to banana? Not like us humans. You're shitting. You're shitting now. And you're throwing it, to say the least. You have to leave. I grab your wrist. Get your damn hands off me, you filthy ape.

You're a monkey, sir. And so they did start their business and they called it Stardust Ranch. Ooh, that's a good name. Driving to their new home, they were not prepared for the horrors that awaited. The previous residents hadn't even moved out their shit.

Oh. I mean, can you believe this? The Stardust Ranch was already a disaster. More like Shit Dust Ranch. Nice. So John calls the agent and says, What gives? They say, All right, all right.

It'll be gone in a few hours. Not to worry. Unbelievable. John takes off for a couple hours, drives away he comes back stuff is out of the house until he goes round to The back what in the blue hell all of their stuff has been dumped into the pool in the back wait all of whose stuff All of the original resident stuff, so it's not gone They just took it out of the house and dumped it in the pool very much right furious john calls the agent again but they say we haven't been around yet but the gate's locked and the site is secure who moved the stuff okay so they might have like a merry little prankster they don't really know at this stage

right it wasn't on his mind for long because no sooner had john cleaned out the pool and heaved everything out himself when he turned around to face the ranch and there was a man with a machete staring at John. Jesus, that escalated quickly. He said, I live here. John decided the man was insane, but calmly asked him to leave saying, I'm the new owner, gotta leave. The man... Yeah, I'm the new owner, gotta leave. The man... Yeah, John's the same one. I bought this. It's called Stardust Ranch.

The man understood this and started to walk away, which I feel like he backed down very quickly from standing over a man with a machete. He turned to him and he said, You're gonna wish I lived here. There are monsters on this property and i killed them okay needless to say john was far more terrified of this man than any monsters right but he kept an eye out anyway for monsters yes well joyce and john did enjoy the

next couple of years pretty quietly jesus okay that's we're zipping past yeah they raised animals on the ranch and basically enjoyed the good life what kind of animals do you know i think just horses and dogs okay horses and dogs yeah that's weird uh there were orbs however a lot of orbs i just thought it was weird that they raised horses and dogs before you even got to the orbs at first they thought they were flashlights in the distance but these orbs would zoom off into the night at superhuman speed okay now if you listen to episode 42 you will know all about orbs at skinwalker ranch right is similar case yes haunted ass ranch haunted ass ranch uh yeah family buy it try and move in haunted by orbs don't work they tried

deadlocking both the inside and the outside of the doors that did not work could have guessed that these people also have dogs and in the skinwalker ranch case the dogs got incinerated i didn't want to bring this up and i don't want to alarm anyone but to remind you these orbs have come to a dog rescue center the worst place it is harvest season for these fucking orbs to feeding frenzy god damn it people should know by now what a terrible idea it is to gather a collection of puppies in the desert i mean that alone is a bad idea paranormal or otherwise i know i mean people say this city is a bad place for a dog no the arizona desert it sounds like these people also don't know a shit about running a ranch if you're talking to them you're like oh you're gonna start up a ranch

yeah we're gonna start one out in the desert start by breeding horses and puppies what yeah like any cattle sheep goats no don't see much use for them we can ride around on the puppies and the horses will mostly stay in the house with us keep us company eccentric old man like rancher just crowd surfing on a sea of puppies down the valley. Puppies clearly exhausted. And this is exactly why they didn't tell anyone about the orbs for a long time, because they were trying to build a respectable rescue business and didn't want to scare anyone off. But eventually it just became impossible to hide right horses and animals were turning up mutilated on the ranch eyes tongues removed and these were consistent with the kind of other mysterious cattle mutilations we've talked about before just no uh obvious human

cause yeah no real natural cause but that's when the greys arrived no at first they thought they were having dreams in the middle of the night three foot tall alien greys arrived. No. At first they thought they were having dreams. In the middle of the night, three foot tall alien greys with large heads and eyes would enter the room. The aliens were mostly interested in Joyce, John's partner. But because during these visitations Joyce could not move or make a noise, they fit the description of night terrors. Oh, I see, I see. they fit the description of night terrors.

Oh, I see, I see. Until after one realistic dream, where Joyce had been injected by one of the greys, in the morning she looked down to her arm and there was an injection wound on her forearm. That was no dream. Okay. Night- So you're laughing?

I just don't know what to say. I really don't know what to say. Do you have like a photo or anything? Yeah, actually hold on are you serious you punch me and run you punched me in the face i stab your arm with a hypodermic needle here is pulled from his facebook page um here are some examples of uh bruising some bruising on the forearm now this is if anyone has been to a nurse to get bloods taken yeah sometimes they can um it up basically yeah and it causes bruising smash you smash your body at the point of entry these aliens don't look like they know what blood is and they were just kind of stabbing john randomly in the arm. To see what he would do. We will come back to more photo evidence.

Okay. But I just wanted to show you that I'm not f***ing kidding around here. All right, all right. And there are photos. Night after night, visitation after visitation, the Edmonds woke to new and horrible injuries. I will provide you with some photographic evidence. So that's all there was?

There was just that tiny little bit you had to say before you showed me more photographic evidence? Shut up! You'll see the evidence when it's ready. The evidence is ready! The time is now! It started with minor lacerations. Scarring. Like the stuff you're seeing here.

Little scars. It started getting a little bit more gnarly uh this photo is captioned this is why i want to move from 26th of august 2017 this is very recent this is an actual facebook post as well you're on the man's facebook page yeah a live page there are people commenting reacting with shocked emojis good god uh so just to give you a picture of john here's john there he is yeah looking good a hefty man with a silver mustache trustworthy eyes here is uh joyce i assume joyce hefty woman to match blonde hair curly you look like a nice couple if she used to work for the fbi why can't she sort this junk out she must have like a laser gun or something right that she can or bust them or some some contacts

that can help them well you remember what the fbi stands for famous but uh incompetent i couldn't remember that myself for a second but that's what it stands for famous but ignorant imposters so hopefully that wet your appetite i mean i'm drenched on with the story that wasn't a dip you held my head under the water water the bubble stopped one night john woke to hear his dogs barking they had attacked a gray that was trying to infiltrate their house. Well the dogs seemed pretty unscathed after the grey got away but just one week later the dogs dropped dead. Why do you why would why do you think that this is a little taste of what's happening? You're you're it's so full-on what you're saying right now. This isn't like alluding to something at all. You're saying the dog's bit

an alien. It's because if you lost your shit at this you would borderline pass out at what I'm about to tell you. Okay. I have to keep my cool for a little while. This is just another horrifying similarity

to the case of Skinwalker Wrench. Okay. I mean that never happened in Skinwalker Wrench. But the dogs of Skinwalker Ranch. Okay. I mean, that never happened in Skinwalker Ranch. But the dogs died. They did, yeah. From orbs. You said it was a grey. Yeah.

This time. So, you know, John's thinking, inject my wife, that's one thing, but kill my dogs. So John's thinking, hell, you want to kill someone inject my wife like riffing with the aliens uh john had had enough and he claimed he was going to quote respond with the most violent behavior possible okay he bought a legit arsenal of weapons to defend himself with guns knives whatever it would take right slightly redundant if he bought the guns. Close quarters. On more than one occasion, he kept greys at bay from the ranch

by opening fire on them in the middle of the night. Until sunrise, he's riding a horse bareback, blasting two AKs through the fields at alien greys, trying to abduct the puppies. And I know what you're thinking. He didn't see any aliens, he was shooting at nothing. Right. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. John went toe-to-toe with the greys more than once. With alien greys breaking in, John wielded a samurai sword and impaled one of the three-foot

bastards right there at his doorstep. The grey was extremely wounded, but disappeared instantly and inexplicably. Oh, yeah. Not long after... Without leaving a trace of evidence. Not long after, John uploaded this photograph to Facebook. I don't know why you're laughing at this evidence. What we're seeing is a samurai sword lying in a puddle of barbecue sauce. No!

Sir, do you know what goes that specific color of brownie red? That's dried alien blood, sir. Really? I'm sorry, you're doubting the veracity of this photo? Very much so. Why is the sword not covered at all? It is covered. i will zoom in for you there we are you can see where he impaled him here that is not a lot of barbecue sauce on that

sword that's uh that's approximately four inches of of uh blood why does he have a samurai sword to protect himself against alien grace sorry stupid question i mean don't ask if uh if i've told you already i mean listen katana to my throat watch what you say powers i didn't know you could backflip um and as you say this is a live uh facebook post uh the links will be in the patreon show notes if you're interested you can literally friend john edmunds on facebook right now if you wish we will say while we as professional paranormal investigators have to tear apart the people we investigate we urge you to treat this case with the utmost sensitivity of course plus we've already we got off we bled him dry like an alien bastard. So there ain't a penny left.

I've taken a fucking katana to his BTC wallet. So to take you through, as you would imagine, there are active comments. This is an active discussion. Of course. This was posted just March last year. Whose blood? Someone commented. Shocked emoji.

John replied, This person replied, They didn't want you to keep the body, huh? F*** off, he replied. Too many questions. Call my lawyer. Sword emoji, sword emoji. Ninja emoji. John replied, no, unless you cut the head off and disconnect the antenna.

So to speak, they instantly, quote, phone home. Even with a razor sharp sword, it is nearly impossible to decapitate them with one swing. Right. 17 thumbs up. How does he know this? Because he's been plagued by greys for several years at this point. Dumb question again, sorry. There's always more where that came from.

This is the 19th time I've been through this. I've had dozens of conflicts here, so I don't really concern myself about preserving fluids anymore. Is that like his fluids or their fluids? Is he trying to explain why he doesn't mind that he peed himself when they showed up? It looks like you pissed yourself. I am not concerned with the preservation of fluids in this fight or flight situation. He's crying so hard.

So I want to know where he's hiding these swords. Really badly. You think it's like there's one. What do you think? Like if you play the piano, you try and hit a key. It's like open it up. It's like spring loaded katana. It's like or it's just so over the top that it's inconvenient.

You like opening the drawers to get sugar for your tea and just mountains of swords are like pouring out. Nunchucks. Shuriken. Goddamn kunai. So you've heard of Close Encounter of the Third Kind. Well, this is actually kind of cool. You've heard that phrase before. I didn't know, but this scale that Close Encounters are rated on

is known as the Hynex Scale. And what John has experienced here is actually a close encounter of the sixth kind you thought three was tough and while we're on the subject do you know what the highest level is on this scale the first kind the seventh kind what it goes up you got to have a baby with an alien so it's like one is fine then one is like i think a high five or something no that's like seeing a ufo in the night sky from very far away oh uh i can't remember what two is three is you have to be within 500 feet of an alien craft so that you can reasonably distinguish with your own sight that it is not mistakeably a fighter plane or something right then there's close encounter of the third base, which is jacking it

in a ranch or plane. I mean you joke but level seven is an alien and burying its child. So pretty neat actually. John actually claims that they don't just have scars from these alien attacks but they have also contracted diseases he said his wife has a thyroid disease and he has diabetes despite no family history you know who else had hyperthyroidism terair so unconnected it's all linked people i really hope that was something to do with skin walker wrench but it's as circular as the flat earth.

And as John explained, you know, people want to know where's the body. But as he says, all three greys who came to the house phoned home. Right. And disappeared. However, as we see in the photo, there was indeed blood and flesh left on the sword. So, I know you say that shit was barbecue. I see you shaking your head over there son of a bitch so so john contacted michigan-based biophysicist and crop circle investigator dr wc leavengood okay who'd already been investigating soil samples from the ranch

why because he's a crop circle expert okay i did do did do some digging on Mr. Levengood. He does have peer-reviewed research. Okay. Biophysicist. He hasn't just worked on alien cases. It seems to be something of a pet project of his. Those peers are greys, but... He is a real doctor.

No one questioned that because it's real. Okay. Definitely don't worry about that. I guess he heard about the wrench, wanted to sample some of the soil He is a real doctor. No one questioned that because it's real. Okay, okay. Definitely don't worry about that. I guess he heard about the wrench, wanted to sample some of the soil because this was something he was working on. In the UFO community, he's quite famous. And Dr. Levengood claimed that within this sample was the holy grail of alien evidence.

He had found hemoglobin in the blood, not from Earth. And that he needed to investigate it further john was pleased to hear this obviously his his findings were validated his alien blood was validated but a while passed and john didn't hear anything further from dr leavengood that's weird because he seemed really excited about it as john attempted to contact him it was revealed that he had died suddenly and tragically leaving all of his research incomplete. How did he die? I'll get to it. John did find another scientist to investigate some of the samples from the wrench.

He claimed to... The scientist claimed that he used a special kind of electric light. Not right. Wrong. That examined invisible stains around John's home. No, invisible stains from electric lights is it a uv is it a uv light maybe however he did say that to complete a proper analysis of these invisible stains would cost upwards of twelve thousand dollars coincidental john invited him

on coast to coast am and he said let's go on the air talk about this and we'll raise funds through crowdfunding to pay for this research uh the scientist said no how did he die the timing of dr levin good's death is very inconvenient and maybe even suspicious and indeed some have speculated that he might have known too much i'm worried he knows too little for a doctor just like someone coming to him being like i am uh in a really bad place um and i'm thinking about darkness just all the time really and he's just poking like barbecue sauce with a plastic spoon uh-huh uh-huh okay take a couple paracetamol and call me back you'll be fine i'm just a minute i'm dealing with the holy grail over here he's sniffing soil holding vial

of barbecue sauce the holy grail it says hp on the freaking label did the powers that that be get to him we do not know i will point out he was 88 years old right and his loved ones died of being hit by a car so we can't necessarily rule out uh extraterrestrial interference it was his own car the car the brake was not on it and it ran him over no according to his loved ones he died peacefully so unless the fbi poisoned him right it doesn't seem like a very and also why would they do that because it's one of their own who's being messed with maybe she defected you think so could be you know she tried to get out too early you know yeah who leaves the fbi and goes to live on a ranch you know who does that people will end end up f***ing orbed.

Dead people and Edward Snowden are the only two people. We haven't brought that f***er up in this podcast yet, but let's just set the record straight. He's a card. Yeah, I'm glad we're on the same page. He's a traitor. Yeah.

Or maybe worst of all, he's a nerd. Honestly. You know what people hate more than anyone in the world? Whistle blowers. Whistles are loud. Shriekingly high-pitched. Have you ever been around someone who's blown a whistle? It's in the reading. Such as that PE class at school.

Jesus Christ. And it's awful. And who gave the nerd a whistle to begin with? It's insane. The nerd has the whistle blown in his face. And this is, you know, because didn't he, wasn't he in the f***ing Marines or some shit? This is the point of him. He's everywhere. He's in our the point of him. He's everywhere.

He's in our goddamn phones right now. He's unstoppable. He's omnipotent. He's everywhere. He's the Agent Smith of the real world. If you guys haven't masking taped your webcam on your laptop, Snowden is jacking off to you right now. I'll tell you that right now.

No word of a lie. Snowden is legit. Can i back out of this joke don't even blink or your bit wallet will be empty keep little matchsticks in your eyes focus on your coinbase portfolio let Snowden snatch it. We're very bitter about Snowden. We're scared of him, to be honest. Honestly. However, to add fuel to the fire of this particular conspiratorial theory,

John and his wife do claim to have been visited by men in black shortly after the death of Dr. Levengood. She is a woman in black. They arrived at the ranch in black unmarked cars. Right. And quietly advised John not to go public with any information. Okay. John decided to go extremely public with everything he had. He'd be on radio shows all over the place.

Paranormal TV and radio shows, the whole works. Now, of course, all of this publicity has attracted cryptid hunters, paranormal investigators, and alien detectives and crackheads from all corners of the United States. Now, of course, all of this publicity has attracted cryptid hunters, paranormal investigators, and alien detectives and crackheads from all corners of the United States. I will now present to you some of the evidence that they have gathered on Stardust Ranch. Okay. This is more barbecue sauce, I swear to God. Feast your eyes on this. Jesus Christ, Kit.

No. No, no, no, no. I don't know what you're shaking your head at kit has just shown me a picture of a ranch where very close in the foreground of this picture is a very close-up alien toy pushed against the lens of a camera to look like an alien gray has magically popped up into the front of this frame. I mean, it's so close. You know, whenever you're, you try to take a photo of something with your iPhone so close that it's blurry and you have to actually retract from the image. That's how close this alien is to the camera. It's so bad. That is abysmal. So, that one didn't really

convince you, eh? Well, wrap your noggin around this. Alright, this is a video of the ranch. And there's... What is that? Something in the field? It's a three foot grey, I think you'll find. It's very far away, so...

Why doesn't he zoom? Are you f***ing kidding me me is that supposed to be a ship the alien oh my god so the alien just got lifted up into a spaceship and then the ship is presumably yep there it goes millennium falcon style gone over the bushes wow he's still filming for some reason that was somehow worse than the last one i uh i don't really know what you want because you know what i'm gonna just a little uh bit of advice i guess for future podcasts this point the evidence section of a show is usually uh when you present media that would help win over your argument you have shot yourself in the dick sir with this evidence you have absolutely wrapped a noose around your neck and shot yourself this is bad i uh i don't know what you want me to do. You made me want to stop believing in aliens altogether.

And start believing in greys. I don't know what you want me to do because, you know, sometimes on this podcast we just don't have any evidence. Right. So you made it yourself? I brought to you footage of an alien boarding a craft. Terrible. Just awful. And that's not good enough for you somehow that's not even a close encounter of the first kind that's a negative three okay don't look so

upset you knew this was gonna come you knew this was gonna happen when you showed me that yeah close the laptop you know what no it's fine you know what actually this month i'm taking all the patreon money i'm taking all the Patreon money. I'm taking all the money because you don't deserve it. This was weak and bad. That's what my parents said. I hope we lose subs for this. That's what my parents said whenever I showed them the presentation before we recorded.

So I guess everyone's right. I'm a f***ing loser. Yeah, I've actually been talking to them. We think it's time you should you should actually leave london really yeah and go and uh go state your aunts really because this has been going on for a f***ing while now and it's getting worse yeah the evidence but i'm everything i mean i'm like no okay let me see where this leaves me because i really thought that was going to win you over so So needless to say, John wants rid of this wrench and he's lived there

for many years at this point and he doesn't want to be fighting aliens with katanas into retirement. So the wrench is up for sale. John listed it for 2.5 million. God damn it, John! It goes without saying,

no one bought it. Right. However, it did attract the attention of one researcher, Mr. Robert Bigelow. No, it didn't. This is insane. Now, you guys might remember the name because Robert is the self-same man who bought Skinwalker Ranch a few episodes ago.

That's mad. Yeah, Robert Bigelow. I want to do a whole episode on this guy because I've seen him pop up in so many different stories. Yeah, this guy seems interesting. It's crazy. That's right. So he wanted, Robert Bigelow wanted to investigate the paranormal claims behind john's story however the deal fell through for unknown reasons leading many to believe that robert discovered the whole thing was a hoax right the property was taken off the market in light of new evidence the ranch is back on the market for double the price at $5 million. And Bigelow is reportedly in talks with John once again.

Are you serious? And you know, John is just continuing to this day to upload hard-hitting evidence regarding this case. He's written a book about his experiences called The Ascension Code, including such experiences as the time they tried to abduct him and he had to let rip on their mothership with an AK-47. This wasn't a fart someone also needs to explain to john how economics works if you put a house on the market for two million and it doesn't sell don't go all right all right we'll call it four million and i'll give you a throw in a free puppy i love the bigelow though was like you devilish bastard i'm back in the market at five mil you know and i know what the listeners at home were thinking how can i visit stardust ranch how can i see an alien gray well you can visit they do accept visitors

although it does get very busy john recently had this to say in a post online, quote, love having visitors plan a trip to Stardust Ranch to check out all the weird stuff that happens on the ranch, but drop-in visits are a different story. From this day forth, anybody who wishes to drop in unexpectedly will be charged $500 per visit. Last night, I had an individual sitting outside my front gates from 10 p.m. until at least 11. Come on, people. Not cool. Also, a good way to get arrested. Or worse. We live here.

This isn't alien Disneyland or friggin' Walmart. We are not open 24 hours a day. Be thoughtful. Even the aliens get pissed off when you act thoughtlessly. That's not real. That's so, no. That's not how this works. So if you're going to insist on instant gratification,

you're going to be charged for it. Exception made for Publisher's Clearinghouse. If you want to award us a gazillion dollars, you can drop in any time. That's not how this works. John, Jesus Christ. If you book in advance, sure, I can go have a word with the Grays and see if they'll be interested in swinging around in the evenings.

So? No. Don't even ask me. Don't even ask me don't even ask me don't you dare don't you dare i feel like i've presented a case right no barely i've at least talked for 40 minutes at the least give me that give me that i've talked and you've listened okay that's true it's actually i was finding it pretty hard to zone out despite my best wishes um what are your instant thoughts just right off the bat just you know whatever just comes to mind first uh thoughts and feelings positive or otherwise right about the kind of just just like

unexplainable really goings-ons yeah yeah sure um this is a lie this whole thing is a lie john has made up stories i don't know why i don't think he's doing a lot at the ranch i think him trying to sell the ranch for five million isn't something that you do when you're being haunted by aliens so hard that you need to kill them with katanas that's when you want to move so bad you give the ranch away for free that's not how this is not how this works you don't go to a house like you don't move into an abandoned orphanage on the night where 20 years ago a maniac killed all the children in there and then go oh man this every year you know the kids come alive and try and take your eyes um i should put this on the market for a couple million this is wild you get the hell out of there

before those little bastards take your eyes that's how this works so i think jacking up the prices is ludicrous uh this being said um i think what we've really taken away from that is that people we need to crank up the patreon donations so we can go to stardust ranch hell yeah he said it's only 500 a night to see john drunkenly stammer on the fields dressed as a gray and potentially shoot us with a rifle and for a mere thigh we can spend your hard-earned money on a gray goose chase i would love to and that's right we're gonna be drinking gray goose by the bottle um that i would love to see that as a patreon tier. We don't have any tiers. No, we don't have any goals. No.

If you can think of any fun goals that we can put, let us know. Yeah. Maybe that'd be funny. Go to a, one of these sites or something. What about you? You've presented this case to me. I've obliterated it in front of your eyes. I've torn it up, took a dump on it as, as it deserves to have done upon it.

What are your vibes? I pay John a lot for the goose on this one. Right. So it's not that I don't agree with you. I just feel financially indebted to this being real. Bad idea. Bad reason to say something is true yeah i know that's a bad thing to do but here i am i'm gonna go ahead and say i think this week is a

double no am i out of place in saying that i think it's a double no this week as much as it hurts my freaking wallet to say that it was close though, we thought Skinwalker Ranch was real, but this really took a biscuit. You know what? I'm almost ready to do a 180 on Skinwalker Ranch. I am on that little precipice dancing around. I'm almost ready. Because what we do know is that Bigelow

backed out of Stardust Ranch, but he did buy Skinwalker Ranch. Yeah, he went full in on Skinwalker Ranch. Although maybe after a bad experience as Skinwalker, he was out of the wrench game for a few years. Well, I think that just about wraps it up for this episode. If you have your own experiences from Stardust, if you are John or Joyce,

please do get in touch at thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com. Prove us wrong. Of course, hit up the socials at Twitter at thisparalife, facebook.com forward slash thisparanormallife. Our Patreon, as always, you can hit up the show notes for this episode. You can see John's barbecue sauce-soaked katana, his wounds all over his body, which hopefully he didn't give to himself. Yeah, we haven't really talked about that.

I didn't really go there. The video that Rory got pretty visibly upset by of the alien going UFO. All of this will be in the show notes. You can get for just $2 a month. And if you want to get totally crazy, you can get bonus content from just $5 a month. Lastly, but not leastly, we do have a secret society on Facebook. Of course. We actually had a bunch of people join after last week's episode.

Yeah. Which is amazing. Newcomers. Now we do haze pretty harshly. Very harshly. Yeah. Mostly with little knives. But we obviously it's an online group, so we can't actually do any of it. So we just send you the knives and say, stab yourselves. Totally. That's just kind of the rite of passage um and like john we request video uh evidence of that but absolutely uh no barbecue sauce no more of that shit all right because we keep getting that because we know what the color looks like now right we know the difference but yeah head on over to that uh that group um it's it's really thriving over there we've got like hundreds of people in there um in there every day. All woke little sheeple. Last of all, I think we're going to thank some of the Patreon supporters

right here in the podcast. Absolutely. So I would like to pledge our undying thanks to Thomas Byrne. Thomas Byrne me down, shiver me timbers. Thank you, Thomas,

for supporting the Patreon. Imani Russell. Imani, you rustle, you hustle, and I don't want to make a fussle about you, but you're pretty great. Phil Witch. Phil Witch. Hee hee hee hee hee hee. Oh, you cast

me into a, you put a spell on me that made me grateful for your support. Ha ha ha. Because otherwise I'm incapable of feeling grateful. I emotionally just feel pissed off. Pissed off. And ha ha ha. Horny.

Fly away. Annie Granger. Annie Granger. We actually went cherry picking one day out in the forest. And she picked some good berries. She picked the largest berries of all. Didn't know that they had stones in them. And she died.

Wow. So this is like a, she left. I assume this is her will. This is her estate. Holy shit. The estate of Annie Granger. Holy fuck. Oh yeah, it says it right here.

Alan Sharp. Alan Sharp, he's like a goddamn yeah. It says it right here. Alan Sharp. Alan Sharp. He's like a goddamn blade. It cuts to my heart. Thank you, Alan Sharp. Joshua Dalton. JD. JD.

Thank you, Jack Daniels. Ben Spruce. Ben Spruce. You have spruced yourself up for this very special occasion. My birthday. Happy birthday to me. kit didn't give me shit he's actually wearing a suit in his profile picture here there you go he knew it was my b-day rick rick going from b-day into d-day me and rick served in the war brothers in arms

lovers on farms he farms. We eloped. We got a ranch together. And mother was alarmed. Mother's alarmed. These brothers in arms are lovers on farms. Alexander Moore. Alexander Moore, Moore, Moore. Thank you so much for giving us more. We appreciate your sore port.

Lucas Golino. Lucas, go lean on me, because I'll always be here. I'm a little shoulder for you to cry on, Lucas. Joe Leyland. Joe, you lay the land, you lay the goddamn sky for all I know. You are a man who knows what's up, and we appreciate your support. Catherine Troulson. Catherine, you coward.

When I tried to dodge the draft for the third time, Catherine was the one that grabbed me by my ear and marched me into the recruitment agency and said, I've got you a little rat and that's how i started my metal spangled military career it was d-day freaking katherine stormed the beach and i hid in the boat until she saw what was happening and she dragged me out there lastly but not leastly richard earnest meter richard you are an earnest man and i feel like your meter is never ending and we appreciate

your support immensely thank you to everyone that we shout out in the podcast and everyone that we haven't got around to just yet don't worry your shout outs are coming thank you for pledging on patreon. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. We will see you next week. Bye-bye. That's the end of this week's podcast.

Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week. Thank you. Goodbye. Yo, listen up. Here's a story about a little guy. The sound of you, like,

picking up the gear and shutting the door in a blue world i'm just like can you help can you help me pack and everything is blue i might become a new york for him and himself and everybody around i don't know the lyrics you ain't got nobody to listen, blue. Listen, blue. I'm blue now, my knee. Tabadai, badabadee, tabadai. I'm in need of a guy.

So close, but so wrong. Yeah, yeah, out with the old, in with the new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Out with the normal and with the paranormal. Yo, what they want? Yo, I think they want ghosts, ghosts, ghosts. How you know? Because they all be screaming, Ghosts, ghosts, ghosts.

I think they want ghosts, ghosts, ghosts. How you know? Because they all be screaming, Boo, boo, boo.