This Paranormal Life - #051 Intergalactic Aliens are HACKING our TVs
Episode Date: March 6, 2018All these years scientist have been trying to make contact with aliens, but what if aliens were trying to make contact WITH US? In 1977 a British TV channel was hacked by a being named Vrillon took co...ntrol of the station, warning us about the future! But was he really an intergalactic alien? Lets #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Oh!
Welcome to the podcast everyone, it is another Tuesday.
T-T-T-Tuesday!
And you are stuck in a bunker with me, Rory Powers, and my paranormal co-host Kit Greer.
That's right.
For another sp another spooky adventure.
And I'll tell you what, there's only tinned food on the menu,
chlorine-filled water, and ghosts in every orifice.
So I hope you guys are excited.
If you haven't listened to this podcast before,
basically every week we investigate a brand new paranormal case.
And at the end we'll
come to a conclusion as to whether or not it is the goddamn truth that's what we're after i mean
there's a grain of truth in every argument you could really say so um this podcast is redundant
essentially it's like you just went to school for the first time actually my lecturer was uh
he was really opening my eyes recently i really feel like this should be the last episode.
You can imagine me in primary school.
And they're like, all right, two plus two, Rory, seven.
It's actually four.
I think there's a grain of truth in every answer, miss.
Out, again, out.
Well, recently, we've had a bit of a flurry of crazy stories.
You know, ones that you hear and you're like, well, that's not believable.
Yeah.
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, some, let's face it.
Sometimes I'll level with you.
Sometimes we're going for the laughs.
You know, sometimes we know.
Sometimes, sometimes we know from the bottom of our hearts that maybe it isn't a hundred
percent true.
Right.
Phantom kangaroos.
You know.
Come on.
Listen, come on.
It's tough rights itself. It's crazy. Atlantis. I mean,os. Come on. Listen, come on. It stuff rights itself.
It's crazy.
Atlantis.
I mean, that shit was real.
Man, just.
You're like, well, you might say it's not real, but I believe there's a grain of truth in every answer.
So what I'm going to do is we're going to get our heads out of the stars.
Right.
We're going back to Earth.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's set the scene. Okay.
Hit me.
It's 1947.
There was a man named George Van Tassel.
He's a pretty regular dude.
He grew up in Ohio to a middle-class family.
Irregular bro.
At 20 years old, he decides to move to California
and work for his uncle at a garage.
Earn some cash.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to go to the Golden Coast?
I don't know if that's what they call it.
Go to the Golden Coast.
Right.
You know, hit up some of those waves.
Listen, war's over.
It's a new time.
It's a new era.
Lots of hope.
Now, while he was working at a garage, he met a German guy called Frank Kritzer.
Okay, cool.
Now, Frank was a bit of an eccentric loner.
Quite a quirky kind of guy.
Mm-hmm. Frank was a bit of an eccentric loner. Quite a quirky kind of guy.
Who claimed to be working on a mine he owned somewhere near a place called Giant Rock.
Trying to make a living as a prospector, essentially.
He probably heard about the gold rush.
Like a hundred years to it?
Yes, he's a little late to the party.
A little bit.
But he believes there's a trace of gold in every mountain he's like bad logic yeah for sure like that's the one one thing you should not think as
a prospect i i like the idea of applying that attitude like there might you know there's so
many people in the world you know you meet people from all walks of life just imagining like meeting
someone and uh it's just like yeah yeah you know i'm just uh i'm trying to get through university
i don't know you know just try and get into a good graduate job really you know i don't know
i'm studying law so whatever whatever and then one guy's just like yeah man i just ever since i
was a kid i just dreamed of being the first man on the moon and you're like um are you gonna tell him or will i this this guy franz he's out in in california
is like i just got a hunch i got a hunch there's some gold in the in uh the the gold i honestly
think i honestly think there could be some gold out. I think no one's really thought about it. Have you heard of oil?
Now, during World War II, this is kind of sad.
Okay.
Frank was under suspicion as a German spy.
Just because he was German, I guess.
Just because he was German.
That was the thing, right?
It was like Japanese people got locked up.
Yeah.
It was an ignorant, racist time.
Sure.
up yeah i was an ignorant racist time sure um and unfortunately he was actually killed during a police siege at giant rock in 1942 so i'm you're wearing sunglasses so i don't even know if you're
still awake i'm sorry i was just stunned by that last sentence right so i'm to understand
the story thus far has been taking place in 1947 this man was actually killed in 1942 yes okay
i'll just let you just keep just take us on this maybe there's maybe some sort of time travel
aspects involved okay i just want to make sure before we start introducing time travel i got
the year wrong you just haven't got the year wrong. All right, I'm going to fess up to it. Okay. Because you left me hanging there,
believing in time travel for a few seconds.
He was killed in 1942.
Okay.
But George Van Tassel was at the,
he was already friends with him.
Okay.
Dates are irrelevant when you're dealing
with a story of this magnitude, all right?
You're going to find that out pretty goddamn fast.
How could time be irrelevant in any story? when you're dealing with a story of this magnitude, all right? You're going to find that out pretty goddamn fast.
How could time be irrelevant in any story?
This is the case of the phantom clock.
So time is very relevant.
Does it matter if Jesus was from the future or the freaking past?
Does it really matter when he's standing over you with the hammer of justice weighing
your heart on a scale you're thinking of rag and i i start the the first line of every chapter is
exterior night time irrelevant george was walking in the mountains
two million years in the future. So time is relevant again.
Have you ever heard of timeless storytelling?
Oh, God.
Okay, reeling this back in.
All right, so when George heard the news
that Frank had been killed,
obviously, he was heartbroken.
Yeah, of course.
It was his best quirky bud.
So what he decided to do
was, as a tribute to Frank,
he was going to lease the land that Frank had left behind out by Giant Rock.
Okay, as a tribute.
Yeah, just like, oh, he's dead.
No one knows what to do with this property.
I'll buy it and kind of, like, keep it and maybe, like, move there.
And maybe, like, make money off it and kind of take his shit, really.
He actually struck big gold right before he died.
And he confided that information in, obviously, George.
George Amazon primed a police uniform, shot him ASAP, and took his land.
And didn't even pay for his...
They call that American style.
Didn't even pay for his funeral.
He threw him over a bridge into the river.
Put him under a giant rock.
Yeah.
It's the way he wanted to go.
So he moved to Giant Rock and eventually began living in the rooms that Frank had excavated underground.
Like the mines that he had been kind of working away on, trying to find gold.
Like the mines that he had been kind of working away on, trying to find gold.
When he married and had children, he developed the land even further to include a proper home, a cafe, and even a small airstrip.
Cafe? Jesus, man.
You know, he's clearly a guy with too much time on his hands.
That's what you do.
You build cafes and airstrips when you just, you know, you don't have any real hobbies.
You know, he wants to bulk up the tourism because, you know, what family around, love rocks listen where do people go on on holiday grand canyon right boulder colorado exactly they
love rocks and how they're gonna get there boom airstrip where you're gonna eat well i got a cafe
over here oh but there's another he actually has another hobby as well one of those hobbies he's
particularly interested in is spirituality and meditation.
I think you find it's actually not much of a hobby.
It's more of a way of f***ing life.
You prick.
Asshole.
Shit lord.
F*** my guru tells me to freeze when I start getting like this.
I'm just...
You actually said I need to eat these
health berries just to stay calm
those are anti-aggression pills
i'm just repeatedly punching my own leg
shut the
you need more than spirituality in your
life
i think you're a demon maybe
you need an exorcism you need maybe
less spirituality it's making you very angry you need at least a nap if not a tranquilizer
you need dead uh so after a while he starts hosting group meditations at his property
that's pretty cool
what's the california scene get a bunch of hippies out there charge them 300 dollar ruse a pop that's
right and then you take that money all the way back to ohio exactly started ranch with enormous
live that's that's what i'm saying you set up more wrenches so he's hosting these meditation
retreats living out on the ranch farm everything's great
this is beautiful it's a down to earth story ahead of the times actually it's chill uh until
later in the year there's one night george is sleeping soundly softly in bed when he hears a
voice by his side wake up is that so is he? Oh, he's married.
But it was not the sound of his wife.
Really?
His wife doesn't sound like that.
No, she sounds like this. Sounds like that.
Wake up, George.
I'm sorry.
Two very distinct voices.
No, no, no.
I hear that.
I hear that.
Did you turn the oven off, George?
Have you fed the boys?
Why did I marry you?
Have you fed the boys?
You're such a horrible thing.
What are you talking about?
I love you.
You imagine the day he proposed.
What goes down on one knee?
Oh, George!
I'm so excited.
This has been the rest of my life with you.
Really?
Because you look really sad.
He's telling his friends, but it's it's like honestly she's a 10 she's the most beautiful woman i've ever seen but listen face of an angel voice of a demon
that's my baby girl she's like but she's gonna be here in 10 minutes and you're going to need
these he's giving his friends earplugs what's her name angelica satan
angelica gorgon
oh hey you must be the boys i've heard so much about you all
her mother was an angel Her father was a hyena That's why she sounds this way
It was not the voice
Of his wife
So he opens his eyes
You know he's sleepy
He's rubbing them
And according to Van Tassel
There is an alien by his bed
What?
An alien by the name
Of Ashtar
He gets his name right away?
What did he say?
This alien speaks English right off the bat.
He's wearing a name badge.
Shut the f*** up.
Okay, I made that bit up.
Hi, my name is Ashtar.
Can I help you?
Welcome to Blockbuster Video.
George later said that Ashtar was from Venus
and invited him onto his ship where he verbally and telepathically communicated to him.
Verbally and telepathically?
Like he needed to do both?
He said, I'm going to do this telepathically.
Hold on.
And then they did it by brain.
I'm sorry.
Are you speaking?
Oh, sorry.
I was speaking.
I'm doing the brain one now.
I'm doing the telepath.
Okay.
Right.
That's fine.
I wasn't ready.
You got to put brain on hold while you accept voice.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like airdrop.
You got to have Bluetooth.
You can't just...
Yeah.
It's a complex game.
Yeah.
Now, first, Ashtar told him about secret abilities humans possess.
Oh.
Such as the ability to tap into, quote unquote universal mind of god wow which allowed him very
powerful and all humans to receive messages not just from ashtar but from past humans as well
wow we all have this ability guys shit they talked for a while but before it was time to go
ashtar told him about one last thing. The Integratron. A structure capable of dramatically extending the life of humans
by using anti-gravity and time manipulation to rejuvenate human cells.
Jesus Christ.
And the next thing he knows, he's back in his room.
Okay.
So what does he do?
Well, he gets his goddamn meditation group together.
And in 1954...
Like the f***ing A-team.
Under his leadership and a little help from Nikola Tesla,
who he can now talk to by tapping into the universal mind of God...
This is moving very quickly.
They build the Integratron.
I'm sorry, this is... What?
What?
So we've gone from
he had a meditation group
to I think you just said
he was able to contact
Nikola Tesla telepathically.
Yeah, the universal mind of God.
I mentioned that previously.
Through the universal mind of God?
Yes.
We all have it.
Yeah.
Tesla's been f***ing nagging me
since I started this podcast.
Talk about the Integratron, shut up tesla i'll get to it if it comes up you're like do you not have more to do aren't you in
heaven where the f**k are you nope i did a lot of bad s**t you're like what are you are you eating
what are you crunching doritos flaming dor Flaming Doritos. Your breath smells so bad.
I thought you were smart.
I'm eating flaming hot Cheetos.
That's all they have here in hell.
Oh, what's up Einstein?
Why is everyone smart in hell?
This is scary.
They thought too much.
That's what happens when you're smart.
What is this voice? you go to hell my vocal cords are fried from so many flaming hot cheetos
so i also want to clear up one more thing before we keep moving on right so just to clear up yes remind me remind me
arigato for nothing uh so remind me this gentleman's name wow bad listener much
his name is george this has moved very quickly there's a lot of names his name is george van
tassel george van tassel there's a lot of names and cosmic entities
coming up here so i'm sorry that i didn't remember his name all right george van tassel george van
tassel so with help by nikola tesla met ashitar the alien and is now creating the integraton i
just want to just run it past you that he so he went to sleep and then while he was asleep yeah an alien came to
him are you ready to continue on he was dreaming he was he wasn't dreaming he was dreaming what
did you not get here came to him in a dream and it was a normal dream we all have dreams now and
again what do you know most of us have the sense not to build woke up you woke up you can't be dreaming if you wake up
have you ever woken up inside a dream no wait maybe maybe where is this now
i wake up in my bed in a cold sweat i thought it was podcasting
you are not lying beside you You must start a podcast.
I'm so confused.
All right, so construction is underway on this massive beast.
Okay, on the Integratron.
It's looking pretty incredible.
All right, if you don't know what it looks like, it's this giant dome-like structure with a large rotating metal apparatus on the outside
that he called the
electrostatic d-rod wow it's also made completely out of non-magnetic materials not even metal
screws that's some interesting shit if you'd like to see a picture i would that is it so folks for those of you listening at home it looks like a ufo has landed on a bungalow
right but very beautiful yeah and white so i mean you can see this for yourself if you um go to the
if you go to patreon rock if you go to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life easier i guess
you'll find our show notes and you can see everything to
this episode but
you know if you
don't want to go
there you can also
google and take
a trial
with the special
pictures are up
on patreon
uh
I yeah I
know I would
might be a good
time to mention
that you know
some of you are
going to be sitting
at home like me
doubting the
veracity of this
because it's a
crazy story so far
I agree it's there's some crazy bullshit happening as much as i want to doubt the veracity of these pictures of
the integratron's existence i brought it up in several podcasts ago i went to uh joshua tree
california um very dusty place not very many people live there lots of ufo sightings right
my kind of town and a gentleman known as the
space cowboy i know him he's a good man he told me he has a cowboy hat and everything yeah and he
told me of the existence of the integratron i didn't know anything about it at this point this
is a real thing and he said to me there is a um a time warping device located not 20 minutes drive from here.
You should go there.
I Googled it with my girlfriend, and we were ready to go down the road.
Unfortunately, its Google-listed opening hours notified us that it was indeed closed that day.
Right.
I guess Nikola Tesla, I don't know, he is like opening hours or some shit.
He's actually a
pretty busy guy hell keeps him pretty busy hot and busy which is pretty hellish conditions actually
so during the time of construction of this incredible device that we're talking about
this movement that george had started with him and all of his friends meditating that he was calling
ashitar command right it was starting to blow up george started hosting events which eventually
grew to the point where in 1959 11 000 people showed up wow think of this think of this uh
as like early small-scale Scientology.
Right.
Maybe not as malicious as that.
Yeah, it's kind of rude. But this huge kind of like religion is kind of tied into it,
this spiritual belief system that just kind of like snowballing.
And science and like Nikola Tesla.
Yeah, building this crazy device.
Very interesting.
Well, finally, the Integratron was nearing completion.
And what kind of time period is this?
How long did it take, I wonder?
Long time.
Okay.
Obviously, as I said, though, at the start, time is irrelevant.
Okay.
I feel like you're using that as a convenient plot device
so you don't have to remember dates.
Names, also irrelevant.
Yes.
Date facts, irrelevant.
Turning up naked to work.
Clothes, irrelevant.
Pay, very relevant.
Need it now.
Need advance pay, very relevant.
Like a bad computer.
Within a few weeks, it would be fully operational.
Wow.
All right, so, you know, the whole Ashtar Command movement is getting excited.
Yeah, 11,000 people.
George is getting excited.
This thing's about to be unveiled to the world.
And then just before the official opening,
George suffered a fatal heart attack.
Wow.
And to this day, the Integratron remains unfinished.
Okay, so despite everyone having access to the universal God mind the universal mind of god yeah close
enough he was actually the only person in existence to have that ability to speak to
nikola tesla and finish it i think everyone the idea was everyone had it but i didn't really want
to go into it too much in this story but uh there were eventually like branches that went off of
the kind of religion that's ashtar command where other
people started claiming they were getting information from ash of course and george
was like f**k off i'm the only one that talks to ashtar so it's like became this weird thing where
george very much wanted to stay the head of the church okay just to be clear yeah i feel like
the integratron was always a week off being finished maybe for a
couple years and then he died so so to this day i mean like in the state it's in now which you
probably would have gone to visit it in um it's just being described as this like almost
architecturally designed perfect structure yeah very beautiful there's some bullshit around it that it uses like um
resonance and sound waves to perfectly in tune with your body and relax you and you know get
you all spiritually charged up and all this kind of stuff so i think they use it at the minute for
like yoga retreats and things right right right right right because obviously it was never finished
and it can't actually do the time travel just. Just to be clear that you think that the kind of acoustically resonant properties of the building is bullshit.
But Ashtar and the Universal God Mind, that's kosher.
Obviously, yes.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's as far as we're going to talk about George and his constructions.
Let's blast forward 20 more years
even though time's irrelevant it's the 70s all right 70s there's a lot going on in the world
uh the viking one probe lands on mars right yeah disney world opens yeah the phase junk food enters
the english language these are extremely disconnected odd facts.
Elvis died.
Okay.
Or did he?
Wink.
That's another episode.
Bonus tier on Patreon.
I can find out whether Elvis died or not.
It's the 70s, all right?
And families across the UK are doing what families do best.
Sitting in silence and watching the telly.
Eating biscuits and drinking tea.
Let's look at one hypothetical family.
Can you give me a name for the family?
Let's see, what's the most British name you can think of?
The Brinksworths.
The Brinksworths. The Brinksworths.
Yeah.
Well, it's around 7pm.
Mum, not Mum and Dad.
Mum and Dad are back.
Mama and Papa.
Papa are back from work
and they're sitting down
watching Southern TV's news anchor,
Andrew Gardner,
presenting the day's headlines
right before the Looney Tunes started.
Brilliant.
He tells the best news.
He does.
Lovely bloke.
But.
Wait, I keep doing a British accent for this bit.
I have to go into omnipotent presenter mode.
Okay.
But.
At ten minutes past five,
the picture on the TV began to wobble.
Good heavens.
Well, where's our beloved news anchor gone?
As if it was distorted.
Strange.
It is November, so weather can be a little bit rough,
but nothing crazy enough to screw up the TV reception.
I'll just give it a quick tap on the noggin.
Go on, Dad! Kick its arse!
So they finally decide to wait it out.
Kick it in the nutsack.
What are, like, really, really unnecessarily British, like, swears?
Kick it in the bollocks, Dad.
F***ing do it in.
Yeah, do in its tiddlywink.
I'm so lost in this. All right um so the family decide to wait it out
statics go in they think it'll be fixed in a little bit of time wait till the storm passes
then all of a sudden the audio cuts out completely tv host andrew gardner is presenting
but without any sound is the tv broken damn it. Did someone sit on the remote?
Then a voice came through the television set.
This is the voice of Vrillen, a representative of Ashtar Galactic Command.
What?
Yeah.
For many years you have seen us as lights in disguise.
Darling, is that you?
No, this is Vrelan.
We speak to you now in peace and wisdom,
as we have done to your brothers and sisters all over this, your planet Earth.
Now, Vrelan goes on to talk for about six straight minutes,
so I'm not going to include all of that.
I started dozing in minute four.
He started repeating some shit about Nikola Tesla and flaming hot cheetos. I'm not going to include all of that. I started dozing in minute four.
He started repeating some shit about Nikola Tesla and flaming hot Cheetos. Pretty racy around minute five.
So I've left that bit out.
He got horny and weird.
It was kind of like he was hitting on us for 30 seconds.
I'll paraphrase it.
All of your weapons of evil must be removed.
Be aware that...
Shit.
Be aware also that there are many false prophets and guides operating in your world.
They will suck your energy from you.
The energy you call money.
And will put it to evil ends.
And give you worthless dross in return.
This is our message to our dear friends.
We have watched you growing for many years as you too have watched our lights in your skies.
We of the Ashtar Galactic Command thank you for your attention.
We are now leaving the plane of your existence.
May you be blessed by the supreme leaving the plane of your existence.
May you be blessed by the supreme love and truth of the cosmos.
Now enjoy Andrew Garbelt's fantastic, award-winning production of the BBC News.
After him at 6.30 is Looney Tunes.
Watch as Tom and Jerry f*** about.
Endlessly trying to kill each other.
It's my favorite Earth show.
He just starts hogging the television broadcast.
Actually, this brings up a good conversation topic.
He would be the worst. Trying to do stand-up.
What's the deal with UFO food? He'd be the worst. Trying to do stand-up. What's the deal
with UFO food?
He would be the worst guy
to watch a movie with.
I loved...
I loved Brendan Fraser
in The Mummy.
It's weird.
That guy's never in movies
and it's like,
shut the f*** up.
I'm trying to watch the movie.
Please, Vrillon,
we know you've seen
this movie before.
You don't have to keep
bringing it up every time.
Have you guys seen The Mummy Returns?
Yes!
Everyone's seen The Mummy Returns.
Everyone's seen The Mummy Returns.
They play it every Christmas.
Christmas?
What is Christmas?
Why do we keep inviting him over?
You don't.
I show up.
He's really loudly munching Cheetos.
Well, as soon as the message ended, the TV went completely back to normal.
The station apologized for what they called, quote unquote, a breakthrough in the sound.
Breakthrough in the sound.
And they continued with normal programming.
But by the morning, Vrillon's intergalactic message was front page news.
Oh, okay. So this was not like, it didn't just intergalactic message was front page news. Oh, okay.
So this was not like, it didn't just affect the Brinksworths.
No.
He took over as a whole of like the south of UK.
The signal was hijacked.
This was going to hundreds, thousands maybe of television sets over the UK.
It was being talked about all across the country with some families even being genuinely afraid
that the message was
legit wow very similar to um orson welles and the war of the worlds broadcast yes which obviously
was a fake news presentation about aliens invading which some people thought was actually a real
presentation very very famous it went absolutely insane people went crazy um so it's a similar kind of response also similar to whenever
i um i hacked my walkie talkie right i don't know if you've noticed but i live right beside
a police station uh i f*** with them most nights yeah i've seen that one isn't really famous just
real and true and sad really uh mean and actually disrespectful to the emergency services so uh sue me they might what yeah you
want to sue me uh you can get my name it's a vril on i live at the f***ing intergalactic command
they're arresting you yeah good luck keeping me in a cell my lawyer's pretty f***ing tough
he's actually got a ray gun they beat you over the back of the head with it.
Bat.
Oh.
It was interesting to note that to this day,
no one exactly knows who Vrillon was.
Okay.
Granted.
It was never found out.
You know, a lot of these cases,
it's like a hoax.
They found out it was this person or this person
trying to make money, trying to sell a book.
No one knows who Vrillon was.
And his message wasn't anything malicious.
It was kind of just advice, talking about peace,
giving up your weapons of the world,
moving forward as one species,
you know, all quite positive stuff.
It wasn't like right at the end,
also buy my Amazon e-book.
You know, it was all pretty, like, straightforward chill.
And now to close this, to close out this broadcast,
here is the lead single from my new mixtape,
Straight Outta Ashtar.
You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge.
Straight Outta ashtar crazy motherfucker named redlaw with a gang
called ashtar command none of it rhymes
they've never heard of rhyming on
ashtar this rhymes on my planet does it
so what so what are your kind of
thoughts on this you know we've got
george this guy he He mentions this alien.
He mentions Ashtar and Ashtar Command.
He starts building this thing.
Boom.
Gets assassinated, obviously, before he can complete it.
Well, why would he have been assassinated?
You told us he had a heart attack.
Yeah.
Wink, wink.
A heart attack.
Why?
You just blinked.
His heart was attacked by a knife.
How about that?
A freaking CIA-branded blade pierced his heart.
I really feel like you're spitballing at this point.
I don't feel like that's on that piece of paper you've got.
I turn around and he just says it in bold writing.
Wow, I think you're actually dumber than I thought.
So that happened all these years ago.
And now all of a sudden, years later someone is hacking tv signals claiming
to be vrillon from ashtar command from from another plane of existence trying to help humanity and get
them on the right track this is to assume that this is all kosher assume this is all real this
is kind of odd i mean ashtar command kind of go quiet for a while vrilong goes quiet i guess
he's off like fucking with other planets for a bit yeah he's got a lot on his schedule i guess
i mean yeah definitely weird it's difficult i mean there's a lot of ambiguity with this
information you know you you look at the night sky and you think, if UFOs communicated with us, how would they communicate with us?
As Terence McKenna once said, scanning the universe for radio waves might be as foolhardy as scanning the universe for a good Italian restaurant.
Why do we think they're going to be using radio waves?
Exactly.
And why do we think they're going to be speaking English and broadcasting on the BBC at prime time?
It's all very interesting.
Right.
But there's a lot of dubious stuff surrounding this.
Well, at least for once, even though they may be debatable,
both of these instances, these cases I'm discussing, are true.
There was a man named George.
He did build the integration, integration integrating whatever it's called
integratron integratron this was an actual event that took place yeah i think uh some people
actually have uh videos online of the recorded program where it was hacked and vrillon came on
and talked um this is these were two actual incidents that did take place so i got that
going for me at least
so what you're saying is the best thing about this story is that you're not lying so far right
and i'm about to spin some pretty big lies you start putting on your lying gloves fingerless
leather gloves let's go things are about to get weird okay so just kind of stick with me here on
this story so let me guess time is irrelevant but we're jumping forward precisely it's a 1987
okay as usual dan rowan a popular local sportscaster i can do a better voice than that
as usual dan rowan a popular local sportscaster on Channel 9's 9 o'clock news,
was reciting the scores of this week's big games.
When suddenly, the signal began to flicker.
And the screen went entirely dark.
Goddamn piece of shit TV, I just bought this last week.
I'm gonna have to take it back to the store.
What are you thinking? Is this gonna be Vrillon?
Is this gonna be Ashtar coming back?
Another TV hack after all these years?
I mean, I don't... I don't... Are you talking to me?
Yeah.
I mean, people's TVs flicker all the time, so...
But then do images appear on the screen?
Hopefully.
Of a man wearing a suit,
a rubber mask,
and sunglasses?
Okay.
He was just sitting there,
static as noise hissed through the TV.
The mask was of a TV character at the time called Max Headroom.
Now this is actually,
if you don't know who this is,
I don't.
Max Headroom was a fictional,
artificial intelligence TV character that was popular in the 1980s.
But of course, the technology really wasn't around at the time.
So he was a person kind of dressed up like an AI.
Like a robot?
Like a robot, but like a badly rendered human.
Okay.
So I have a picture of him.
Please.
He looks like that and he would essentially host shows
like mtv style uh shows but obviously he was he would word and move like an ai so he'd kind of
like glitch on words and you know next up on the new new news is this interesting if you actually
watch any of the stuff it's maybe some of the scariest
shit you've ever seen really actually it's quite creepy i should show you it because it is some
kind of uncanny valley shit it's one of those things where you're like how how did how is this
okay and how did this not scare people right yeah so for those uh listening at home roy's passed me
a photo of i mean he looks like he could maybe be an agent like one
of the agents from the matrix right he looks yeah humanoid kind of um his hair is slicked back you
know in a kind of futuristic androidy kind of way his face is extremely symmetrical and stern
um yeah and his eyes look glassy and not real all right check that out i'm just showing
kit some of the examples of max headroom's broadcast i'm very confused about the name
max headroom yeah i don't really get it max headroom and what you're about to witness is
one of the most sinister sounding intros to a trailer to one of the greatest epics ever produced
in the history of television okay so pitch ben his voice. Yeah.
This is some cool, like, black mirror shit.
Yeah.
He looks like he's... Yeah, he doesn't look real at all.
So, this guy appeared on the TV
in the middle of the sports broadcast.
Someone wearing a mask of this character.
Sorry, a mask of Max Headroom.
And sunglasses.
It just cut to an image of him sitting there
looking at the camera with just static noise on the top.
And that lasted for a couple minutes.
Him just sitting there in silence. Wow. And then finally the top. And that lasted for a couple minutes, him just sitting there in silence.
Wow.
And then finally the signal dropped out again to nothing.
Okay.
And then bam, back to Dan Rowan,
sitting there absolutely dumbfounded,
talking about today's big news.
Right.
He said,
Well, if you're wondering what's happened, so am I.
The people at the station had no idea what was going on.
But unfortunately, he didn't know this was only the start.
It wasn't long before the signal cut out again.
And this mysterious man appeared on the TV.
The people at the station are freaking out.
Who is this? How has he managed to hack the signal?
The man on the screen begins to
moan, laugh, and scream, acting hysterical. He muttered a number of different nonsensical phrases
before holding up a gardening glove to the camera, saying, my brother's wearing the other one.
He puts on the glove and then cried out, but it's dirty. This one's got blood on it.
He puts on the glove and then cried out,
But it's dirty! This one's got blood on it!
Right?
Then he removed the glove and threw it away in disgust.
Then the picture cuts over to a shot of the man's lower half, with his ass cheeks exposed.
No!
He cried out,
They're coming to get me!
Okay.
Then a female accomplice offscreen said bend over bitch shot your mom and she began
to spank the man in the ass with a fly swatter as the man screamed loudly oh do it oh no
so then the transmission blacked out and normal service returned was that ashtar
some things in life we'll never know so we've hit a few low points in the podcast in in in the past
you know i've been accused of some shit but um at least i had the decency to talk about something paranormal.
Look, who's to say that that dude wearing the Max Headroom mask,
getting his ass spanked by a fly swatter,
wasn't Ashtar himself or Vrillon?
Well, it is true that we don't really... Why would they...
Listen, as Alan Watts said,
I'm not convinced that life is inherently serious why would aliens
necessarily come to like wipe us out or steal our shit right why wouldn't they come to spank asses
live on television it's that whole thing where um you know, people, well, insane people think that Earth is just one big reality TV show to be like an intergalactic audience of super intelligent creatures.
What if this is just like, hey, and on today's episode, we let Ashtar get his ass smacked live on TV.
Let's see what the humans think.
Maybe that's it.
Let's see what the humans think.
Maybe that's it.
Maybe they're messing with us.
Exactly. By showing us, you know, the most like dumb, what we think is the most dumb shit.
Yeah.
Look, I'll be honest with you.
The intention of this podcast was to research the one TV hacking of Rilon and Ashtar Command.
Okay.
Then I found out that Ashtar Command had its grounds with George
and his time machine.
Then I found out about the Max Hedgerum hack
that took place 20 years later
and it all got rolled into this shitstorm.
Yeah, it got rolled into a little calzone of nonsense.
Well, let's not go that far.
All right?
We haven't even said whether
we obviously think it's
real so thoughts
kit's uh taking off his headphones he's actually walking out of the room
these the audience are gonna think it's really sad because
you guys are gonna think those are sound effects but he
actually just walked out uh i don't think he's coming back so um we're just gonna move ahead in
the story exterior day the time irrelevant don't you say it look i've given you all the facts in
this story i don't hold back i i give it all i
give it my all i'm a good hard worker i'm trustworthy i'm friendly i've been described
wasn't that far i was a um like a trustworthy gent by your mom yes it was my mother actually
but she knows me better than anyone so i think she she has a pretty good authority to say i'm a
good boy.
What are your thoughts, Kit?
I mean, you could break it down into the three cases if you want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So let's just take it back to the Integratron to begin with. My boy, George.
This is maybe the most concrete piece of this whole puzzle.
Right.
Metal used.
piece of this whole puzzle right metal used that's pretty uh interesting shit that he built this um very very beautiful um construct that it that his lessons that he what he that he drew from
the what did you call the universal mind of god universal mind of god that is correct
um that this spoke to so many people right uh what i would say is
cults also speak to a lot of people um you know and you know at some point you know everyone's
having a nice time hey the universal mind of gods that's how they all start it's flowing through me
yeah you know let's all hang out in the integratron next thing you know you're locked outside all georgie's inside locked in with everyone's wives uh you're
ass naked in the desert getting spanked live on tv with a fly swatter 45 degrees outside there's
no water looking like max headroom and you realize you're in a goddamn bona fide cult
so i don't know there's a degree to to which right
and this is cult like i mean i didn't really get into a lot of the beliefs uh of ashtar command
but it's uh some pretty wild stuff they essentially believe that um oh boy i'm gonna try and just
breeze through a lot okay go for it um. Fine. They have been looking over us like guardian angels.
Potentially.
I think some of them still live here on Earth.
God and Jesus, though, are also real.
And Jesus kind of is working with the aliens.
Right, right, right.
It's kind of a...
It's that.
It's Scientology.
I want in.
I'm not trying to sell it to you.
You realize that. I'm trying to actually... to you you realize that i'm i'm trying to
actually this is incredible do you have the address the negative uh giant rock when did
you say this shit happened like tuesday honestly um so it's it's messy and then i think uh you know
when you get to that point in the story where then george starts saying he's the only one that gets
to talk to the aliens yeah yeah that's kind of
you're losing your credibility there a little bit i mean it's literally called the universal mind of
god yeah not george's mind of god it doesn't have the same ring to it uh it's funny you know the way
we've talked about it a little bit before and not to diss any organized religions but you know
we all know theologians know that whenever
christianity came along listen they wanted to get pagans on board so they were like hey when you
guys celebrate you know fucking winter and they were like hey uh 21st of december and they're
like hey you know who else is born 21st december jesus and they're like oh this guy sounds pretty
cool by the same token these cult leaders are like hey you guys know jesus and they're like, oh, this guy sounds pretty cool. By the same token, these cult leaders are like, hey, you guys know Jesus?
And they're like, yeah, we actually like him a lot.
He was an alien too.
Whoa.
And they just like adopt all the like Christian stuff as well.
Yeah.
Muhammad, also an alien.
That's true.
Anyway, so that's kind of interesting.
Now for us to move forward to the...
The TV hacking.
What was the name?
Vrillon?
Vrillon, yeah.
Vrillon.
Yeah, I think you pretty much wrapped it up
with your Max Headroom skit
that I think the most...
If we were statistically to work out
what is the most probable cause of this,
is it Vrillon broadcasting live from ashtar command or a prankster yeah
right of course i was just reading your mind through the universal mind of god
i mean tesla is screaming vril on right now in the back of my head well gargling salsa dip
uh i always gotta ask listen you're the one who uh you're the one who researched this
right hand on goddamn bible paranormal bible aka dvd box set of the x files
swear to molder and scully right now
what do you make of this case about half the dvd boxes are empty and the other
ones are filled with the lord of the rings trilogy sometimes i mix up the boxes and to wrap up this
podcast it's a no from you it's uh you have my sword for me um i think it's mostly what you said
i think george being into spirituality and um obviously
aliens has kind of created this almost cult following but hopefully in a bit more of a
harmless sense um not particularly malicious um i think he died before he could create this
crazy contraption which i'm not necessarily sure at all actually does anything then we have the tv
hacking which took place years later and as i said you know at one point there was 11 000 people
at giant rock all part of this ashtar command movement uh it's a little weird that obviously
that movement was probably localized quite heavily in the u.s and then to have this tv signal hack happen
in kind of you know south england right uh in a very localized area as well this wasn't like
all across the uk right this was like obviously from like one or two satellite points okay or
what do you call those not satellites uh structures broadcast towers that makes it a little bit suspicious but then also there's other bits that are a bit weird like vril on had a british accent
that i kind of left out of the story yeah that was quite convenient like time it was irrelevant
at the time um but then obviously the um the max headroom one just someone hijacking tv signals i looked
into it a little bit and um i think obviously there was a tech behind that the tech was
obviously pretty antiquated as far as i could tell the process was as simple as um creating a signal
nearby that would interfere with the reception of those broadcast towers listen let me tell you
it doesn't take a genius you know we're talking about the 70s but the 80s here right that would interfere with the reception of those broadcast towers listen let me tell you yeah it
doesn't take a genius you know we're talking about the 70s about the 80s here right uh people were
absolute savages back then you know they really didn't have the sanitation or the or the kind of
um cleanliness and no and and just attention to detail we have now listen it basically back then
if you could tie a tie
you work for the goddamn bbc they let you broadcast whatever you want exactly you just
walked right into the office so it's like walk it right in there with your pants around your
ankles fly swatter in hand that's what i don't care put on a max hedgerow mask they're like oh
good to see you max yeah that's here's the keys to everything. Now, looking at these three incidents collectively,
I guess, what's the best way to word this?
Do I think that these broadcasts were in some way done by an alien known as Vrilon or Ashtar from Ashtar Command?
Absolutely not.
I think it was two pranksters,
and I think George might have been a little bit crazy.
I think that's completely fair,
and I'm glad to hear that you're coming down on that answer i'm gonna have to agree i think um hand on the dvds please
the box set sure um thank you i think this is gonna i gotta say it's true now
i start sweating
looking right molder right in the eyes they start talking to you also both in hell why did everyone
go to hell it's cool down here we all believed in ashtar jesus was pissed i like the idea of
really shooting yourself in the foot even as you die, like you're standing at the pearly gates and Jesus is just
like, honestly guys
you know, here's some like house rules
but otherwise, it's a chill place
so, delighted to have you
just swear your
what? I just, celebrating
you know, praise Ashtar. No, listen
I told you, no other gods
you just gotta say, you know, you're with me
and the big guy
forever and uh so you and big v all day who big v no no no his name is no okay our lord and savior
so so unnecessarily loyal to brillom he's done nothing but impact your life in negative ways.
Hell yeah, big B.
He's the Rav of the UFO world.
So are we coming down on a double no this week?
Definitely.
All right, look, I'll admit
this one was a bit of a crazy one.
It got out of hand.
But listen, I'm willing to go back
to the Integratron.
I'm going to drive out into the desertatron i'm gonna drive out into the desert
next time i'm out that way and investigate this son of a bitch for myself exactly let's see if
we can finish off that last week of work with tesla's help you send this puppy back i'm gonna
go in mid hot yoga session trash the joint um all right so it's a double no for this week on
this week's episode of This Paranormal Life.
But thank you so much for listening.
That was actually a really fun one to do.
Sometimes the crazier ones are just mad.
Even if you know they're not true,
they're fun to talk about and discuss.
Totally.
If you liked that episode,
we're back every single Tuesday
with a brand new paranormal case.
If you want to hit us up on social media,
which you absolutely should do,
we are on Twitter at This Paranife, Facebook This Paranormal Life.
And we've also got on Facebook our secret society.
We are accepting of people of all backgrounds.
That's right.
You can come in there.
You can praise Ra.
You can praise Ashtar, Vrilon, whoever your god is.
You can praise Ashtar, Vrillon, whoever your god is.
Yeah.
I'll tell you the one demographic we don't let in there is goddamn loudmouths.
Whistleblowers, specifically.
Whistleblowers.
Yeah.
Goddamn chatty Cathy's in the office. You know, well, the chattiest Cathy of all is Snowden himself, who has been banned, permabanned
from the group.
Oh, and he likes to set up new accounts.
He likes to set up new email addresses.
A little weasel.
Time after time,
but I see his moves.
I've seen him out on the streets of London,
Banksy-style spray painting artwork
telling people about our secret society,
which is horseshit.
That little bastard.
Sorry, getting worked up here.
But it's a secret society.
Listen, that's what he wants.
We got to keep it cool.
All right.
If you have your own email suggestions,
a case you want us to investigate,
or just your own paranormal stories,
you can email them in
at thisparanormallifepodcast
at gmail.com.
And finally, to end the show,
we're just going to give
some special shout outs
to some of the people
who have supported us on Patreon.
Thank you so much to Oliver Place.
Oliver Place, you put me in my place, and you keep me from getting too big-headed.
Thanks for keeping me humble, bro.
Rosie Leeson.
Rosie, you are my favorite flower.
You are actually pretty prickly, and sometimes you cut me too deep.
Iggy Kavanagh.
This little Iggy went to the market.
She put some money in the bucket of the beggars on the street.
The two paranormal peasants known as Rory and Kit, and we appreciate it.
What kind of world is this where pigs run run shit and humans are
begging find out on next week's episode of this paranormal life
big world uh what could you even investigate it's just a mad it's just a shit idea then at the end I just go
well you think it's real
like what
the pig world
I don't
a simple oink will suffice
please
you've got your nose taped to your forehead
thank you to Christian Jackson.
Christian, you're one jacked son of a bitch.
You're more ripped and loaded than anyone I know,
so I appreciate you looking down on us little men.
Thank you, Joshua Padley.
Joshua is peddling his little tricycle
all the way down the street to the little piggy market
where he puts a couple of coins in the bucket of the paranormal peasants.
I think I can see where this is going.
It's totally off the top.
They're unrelated every time.
Ben Davies.
Oink, oink, says Ben as he trots down the street,
chucking coins in the basket of the two paranormal peasants.
This is where I look down at our list of names,
and it's just like Bacon, Hamilton.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Thank you, Brandon
Mueller.
Brandon the Mule.
The only one who's not a little piggy in pig town.
We appreciate him.
He's leader of the pack, the pack mules.
So to pull his weight and
chuck a couple of coins in the pocket of the
paranormal peasants is really
well appreciated.
Mark, hip old guy taylor mark you are the hippest old guy that i personally know and i know a lot of pigs so you're top of the list for me not saying you're a pig i'm saying you're a pretty
pretty hip guy actually so thank you thank you cody wayne Stutzman. Cody actually helped me out of a jam one time
when I was toe-to-toe with the legendary Goatman.
Really?
Yeah.
Jesus, man.
Axe to my throat.
Cody came in and went, oink, oink.
Get out of here.
So was he a pig too?
Scared him off.
Yeah, he's a pig.
A lot of these people are really wealthy piggies.
Yeah, weird that it's all this week as well
thank you dave calinan i saw dave calinan kill a man jesus nothing more than that someone should
just arrest him wow i guess i don't feel comfortable taking his blood money but i will
when he chucks a couple of coins in the bucket of the paranormal peasants.
Thank you, Lisa Miles.
Lisa, your contributions go miles in our books.
So, arigato gozaimasu.
Thank you to Sam Villarreal.
Sam the mam, as in mammal, as in pig.
We appreciate you chugging a couple of coins in the bucket of the paranormal peasants.
Thank you, Karina Tiller.
Karina, often seen at the marina, hunting for ninjen.
That's her paranormal beast of choice
and I hope we can bring you a little closer
to making that dream a reality
thank you to Swan Levitt
Swan Levitt
weird name for a piglet
oh Jesus
as you can tell he is in fact
a pig
okay so did he
chuck a couple coins in the bucket of the paranormal peasants?
Yes, he did.
These piggies, sorry, these humans, these paranormal peasants are pretty loaded at this point.
We were actually being assertive now and just taking the money from the piggies.
Did I mention we're wolves?
Did I mention we're wolves in this story
thank you lastly but not leastly to serena gosden serena gosden you are a godsend because i don't
know what we would do without a couple more coins in the bucket of the paranormal peasants
uh thank you so much for your contribution in supporting this paranormal life thank you so
much to everyone who has pledged so far for those of you who are still waiting on your shout out it
is coming we are just getting around to it you know we got we got a ton more piglets to thank
we are so rude to the people who support us we We are so rude and ungrateful. I mean it in the most endearing way possible.
All right.
We hope you have a great weekend.
We will see you on Tuesday for yet another paranormal tale.
Bye-bye.