This Paranormal Life - #053 The Jersey Devil
Episode Date: March 20, 2018A demonic beast known as the Jersey Devil has been stalking the Pine Barrens of New Jersey for years. Is it a demon? A cursed child? Why is it best friends with a ghost pirate? Find out as Rory and Ki...t #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Did color exist before color TV?
Is love a disease?
All of these questions you can find the answer to on this paranormal life!
Welcome to the podcast, the paranormal podcast.
I'm going to be your host for today, Rory Spooky Powers.
Joined by my co-host, Kit Ghoulish-Greer.
That's right, we are back again on a tuesday
bringing you the very latest paranormal tales coming straight into your ears now if you haven't
listened to this podcast before essentially every week we investigate a brand new paranormal case
and at the end we will come to the conclusion as professional paranormal investigators as to
whether or not it is gospel.
That's right.
By the way, this week we are discussing the gospels.
Well, actually, you're not far off.
Am I?
Because we are going to be discussing a devil.
Interesting.
Exactly.
Just where are you going with this, Roy?
Well, specifically, Jersey.
Oh.
But forget that for now. let's go back in time all the way to 1935 okay there's a woman named jane leads nicknamed mother leads guess why she's nicknamed
mother leads let's see does she does she keep a lot of leads about the house?
Does she keep a lot of electronics?
No.
Do they live in Leeds?
I'd just like to say 1735,
so take that into consideration.
Okay.
Not a lot of Leeds at the time.
Do they manufacture Leeds?
No, again, Leeds aren't really a thing.
Is it a weird pronunciation of Leeds?
I'm going to point you towards the mother part.
The mother part of the name.
Is she my mother?
She had 12 babies.
Really?
Exactly.
That was the standard, though, back in the dizzay.
Well, she's a simple woman living a simple life in a place named Pine Barrens, which is in New Jersey.
Mother Leeds was not a wealthy woman.
Oh. Pine Barrens, which is in New Jersey. Mother Leeds was not a wealthy woman.
Her husband was a bit of an alcoholic.
And on top of this, as I said, she's got 12 little goddamn mouths to feed.
It's like someone was like, you know how to make the family successful?
You've got to have lots of children.
The children grow up and they make lots of money.
They become doctor's lawyers.
They make lots of money for the family.
She has them.
She's like, all right, get to work. It's like, saying no they can't work for like 18 years what huh no one told me i had
to feed the little bastards i thought she thought it was just gonna pop out a doctor i thought they
i popped them out and then they like crowd surf me all the way to the goddamn bank
exactly well it's it's the exact opposite she's gotta feed them all jesus gonna take care
of them all she's a busy woman that's it so things are a struggle naturally all right she's working
her butt off to provide for these little shits goddamn right and then she makes a discovery
she's pregnant again oh give over the 13th little bastard is on his way you know lucky 13 though
this this kid's gonna be the one that turns it all around right because the rest of them there
were no doctors there were no lawyers feed me mama you're 30 you're 30 a lot of them are actually
thieves and homeless people i know can you imagine the disappointment? You know, broke-ass family or whatever.
And then, you know, your son calls you one night and he's like...
I just wanted to call you, Mom, because, you know,
I never think I really told you how much I appreciated you
caring for me when I was younger.
Yeah, well, it's really nice to hear you say that.
Looking after me.
Yeah, it was hard.
It was really, really hard.
I appreciate that.
And I need you to care for me again, Mama.
Oh.
I need bail.
Mama?
Mama?
Call up your brother instead.
Jacob, I need bail.
Where are you?
Prison?
Me too.
Turns around.
His 11 other brothers.
Howdy.
They're all calling. Just like, bo wonder why back of the line you shut up they all look exactly the same
prison officer this is just sad at this point you guys can leave we don't need the money
so she finds out after all of this she's pregnant again okay
she's gonna have a 13th baby in pure exhaustion and frustration she allegedly raised her hands
and cried out let this one be a devil really which is not what you want to cry out when when you're
struggling with 12 normal little kids why would you want the 13th one to be the devil?
Yeah, I don't think that would add to things.
I don't think that would be positive.
I don't think that would be a good move.
Absolutely not.
Unless he's like the ringleader of the little bastards.
Yeah.
He kind of like puts them in line.
Or a handsome devil.
I mean, he might get a modeling contract or something.
Right.
Baby modeling contract. Start selling Marco Lombardi. That's what I'm doing
He turns out to be the poorest of them all
At least the others stole something you bought
2100 bottles of Marco Lombardi this liquid we can't even sell to the dead. Can you imagine the
This liquid we can't even sell to the dead.
Can you imagine the delivery room?
Well, it's a beautiful baby boy.
Would you like to hold him, ma'am?
Oh, my goodness.
If he isn't the most beautiful boy I've ever seen in my life,
I'll call him Lombardi.
What?
Lucifer Lombardi.
Oh, Christ. I feel like there's hospital rules against this well a few months
later nine to be specific mother leads goes into labor okay no she's used to this by now yeah you
know it's like a walk in the park boom spread like a loyalty card yeah stamp it out. This one's free, Mrs. Leeds.
But all of a sudden,
on the night the event took place,
the clouds began to gather and a storm started to stir outside.
Simba's dad
came, poked out from the clouds
and was like,
Mrs. Leeds,
you're gonna kill that f***ing baby.
What?
You're bir in the devil.
Oh, God.
I mean,
I mean, if Simba's dad
tells you to do something.
Wait, who is that? What's that guy's name?
The voice actor. Mufasa?
James Earl Jones.
I feel like if James Earl Jones
forms in the clouds and tells you to do
anything, you do it.
It's true.
Like, you know, if you're like a bit nervous to fly and you're like, I don't know, something like, it just doesn't feel right today.
And then James Earl Jones appears and just goes,
Like, you were not, I mean, I guess if it was anyone, you probably wouldn't get on the plane.
I thought he was going to be. It could have been the air hostess.
I probably wouldn't get on the plane.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to be like...
Vroom!
Take a Xanax!
It really takes the edge off, man.
As the clouds gather, a storm is brewing mother lead starts to remember the curse that
she regrettably put on the child yeah curses aren't we know this curses aren't real people
tried to curse me have poo-pooed them on the on the podcast before rory has been cursed by one
of our listeners which was rude to be honest i'm doing great your teeth are falling out yeah but
not as many as they used to be.
No.
That doesn't make any sense.
That's only because you had a bunch of dentures put in there
and those have still fallen out too.
I have a grill, which is just one tooth.
Not grills, plural.
I have a grill, one buck tooth.
Absolutely pimped out.
It's all I could afford.
You just look like a cartoon chipmunk.
So everything's going to be fine.
This one's going to be fine too.
Yes, it's true.
It's true.
Curses, schmurces, as the old saying goes.
If I can do it, you know, 12 times, I can do it a 13th time.
A 13th time.
Exactly.
So the local midwives help with the birth.
And before long, a beautiful baby time. A 13th time. Exactly. So the local midwives helped with the birth.
And before long, a beautiful baby popped out of Mother Leeds.
Baby Lombardi.
The 13th child was a happy and healthy normal baby.
So we're fine.
Nothing paranormal.
Totally fine.
But then.
Oh, what?
Something started to change.
The baby started crying.
Really?
And all of a sudden...
That's normal.
That's not weird.
It began to grow at an alarming rate.
Well, over the course of a few years, sure.
Sure, yeah, then...
Devilish horns burst out from the top of its head like a goat.
Puberty.
The baby's hands formed horrible hooves and dark bat-like wings burst out of its back
At what point do you think she went
Because you know when bad stuff starts happening
Right
You sort of play it down in your head
Hey, this could be
This is natural
The midwives are probably trying to calm her down
He's growing quickly
But he's ahead of the curve
He's ahead of the curve
The first horn sticks out
Alright, a little unusual Okay, no, that's No, that doesn't seem right He's growing quickly, but he's ahead of the curve. He's ahead of the curve. The first horn sticks out.
All right, a little unusual.
Okay, no, that doesn't seem right.
No, that definitely doesn't seem right.
At what point do you think she just flips?
The curse is real!
They're panning this baby as it's growing the size of the house.
At what point as a midwife do you start having to pan a baby yeah at what point
does midwife become executioner what's that crossover what point does midwife yeah become
like exorcist the monster then leapt forward and killed one of the midwives oh here we go
ripping her apart and in some tellings of the story this little demon also
killed mother leads real and the father and its siblings seems like a lot of wiggle room in this
story what do you mean we don't know whether we don't know who told this the midwives dead
mother leads is dead who's telling this story This is all from the perspective of the Jersey Devil.
Oh, okay.
Did I mention he had a six pack?
He actually made out with a couple of the midwives before he left.
And they weren't old midwives either.
They were hot young midwives.
Then those who survived the attack watched as the beast took flight and fled up the chimney
disappearing into the night yeah what an ordeal i mean childbirth already is a is they say it's
the most painful thing you can go through and that's without your baby being the devil being
the devil killing you and your midwife that's pretty bad i mean you always say like you know
oh this is a day you know you never forget your life changes when you give birth yeah yeah yeah you're not the
center of your world anymore right exactly you've got a new priority which is now to hunt and kill
the beast you you cursed upon the world at least that's what my dad said when i was born
he was like you know you think
you know what you're doing in life and then you give birth to that that kid and uh all of a sudden
you think wow i gotta stop him you're like dad big time i'm right here this hurts to hear i'm doing
really well in school i don't know where this is coming from and honestly i've
never said shit until now i mean it's mean enough if i overheard this but you've written this in my
birthday card i really didn't need this surrounded by loving family members dad is holding a crucifix
instead of like back instead of like putting a ten dollar bill
or something you know
inside the birthday card.
It's just a bill.
This is how much
I'm paid for you
to grow up.
You owe me
a lot.
The price is just
time.
I can't pay
I can't pay you this.
The price is
the best years
of my life.
When you look up to see if he was joking,
he just takes a really slow swig of beer.
An invoice for the best years of my life from your dad.
That's so funny.
And sad.
Okay, back to the beast.
Okay.
All right.
Now, as we clearly established,
there's a few different versions
of this origin story.
Yes, sir.
Some say there was an attempt
to exorcise the creature
from the Pine Barrens.
Of course, of course.
Others say the creature
stomped around killing children
Others say that mother leads was actually a witch and she f***ed the devil
Oh my god that's so rude
And gave birth to this little demon
These were very sexist times even more sexist than today believe it or not people
Yeah
So you know is there some slanderous stuff going on there absolutely is i
mean there's a lot to this story that we probably won't get into which was uh rivalries between
family groups religions at the time merging and ideologies not um complimenting each other so
they were like vicious rumors being spread there's like rivalry with your neighbors whenever
you know your neighbor has a better bread recipe than you do and there's a kind of a rivalry yeah
of who's the best bread and then there's bigger than mine and then there's you know yeah keep it
up with the joneses and then there's telling everyone that your neighbor fucked the devil
and now they gave birth to a mini devil that kills
other babies right especially at a time where that is probably a believable thing yeah these are not
smart people we're dealing with here right well certainly less educated than today it was rumored
that one in three women banged the devil in this era it was a bad time uh so throughout the 18th and 19th century the jersey
devil was spotted in the dark shadows of the pines barren region at night frightened residents would
claim that they could hear horrific wails echoing from the forest but again this is a time where
it's folklore these stories get passed around. We don't have photographs.
No Netflix.
Nothing else to do.
They need entertainment.
They're telling these stories around the campfire trying to scare each other.
Exactly. So I think maybe at this time the legends are just being, you know, exaggerated a little bit here for dramatic effect.
We need some sightings.
Exactly.
This is where you're just like and that concludes the evidence thoughts
yeah i should have mentioned we're gonna have to really drag out the conclusion
section because this story is 100 hearsay but now we're gonna jump forward in time
to a time where this type of technology did exist. Oh.
Wait, when were cameras invented?
Will we both guess and then we'll look it up?
All right.
I guess 1880.
I'm guessing...
I'm so stupid.
1812.
The first partially successful photograph
didn't even do it right unbelievable do you think it was
like a selfie what did i say 1812 oh my god 1816 really i was so close very close i'm very stupid
god damn it though so yes we are definitely in a time when cameras were invented okay
because but not widespread it's the the the year of 1909 okay
so cameras so the motorola razor was probably like popular at that point around there somewhere
and it's january 16th brace yourself because we're gonna get a lot of evidence all at once
you beat me over the head with a folder this is when the jersey devil made his most infamous appearances
all right early in the week the police started getting reports of strange tracks appearing in
the snow okay okay tracks that not even local hunters recognized now these footprints didn't
just travel along the ground they went over over people, like through people's back gardens,
and even on the roofs of houses.
Okay, so this print, this better be like a kitty cat paw
or else something weird is going on.
I don't think they're kitty cat paws.
I think they're beast paws.
The hunters couldn't work it out, right?
Right. They know kitty cat paws.
Do they hunt kitty cats?
So people start to get worried, all right?
Especially in larger cities like Camden and Philadelphia.
Not Camden, London, obviously.
There's a lot of British.
Even if whatever this thing is isn't paranormal,
it could still be a threat to civilians.
It could be like a wildebeest or some sort of other wild animal.
It's very true. Again, early 1900s. of other wild animal. It's very true.
Again, early 1900s.
So people just die.
People die all the time.
Bears just come in and rip your face off.
It's true.
Average life expectancy was somewhere around seven to eight.
You were considered a grown elderly man by six, honestly.
So like in many of our other stories,
hunting squads start
forming in the streets.
I wonder how many of our stories
involve vigilante hunting
squads. How many times does it end well?
I don't think we've had one end
well. No, I don't think so.
Let's see if it's today.
So they stuck high-powered
rifles in the hands of every man, woman, and child.
Could still be today.
It's true.
The death toll?
312.
Anything to bring this beast to its knees.
But when they reached the woods, the bloodhounds that they brought with them refuse to follow the scent
these little pups are even scared of whatever this thing is scared or smart okay that's true
yeah so there's tracks anywhere like nope nope look at the size of those claws nope i'm scared
that all you guys have guns frankly this is a bad thing you guys seem very stressed
I think we should all sleep on it
I'm a puppy so
I shouldn't be out here
this is the dog barking to the redneck and he's like
I understand Rex here's your own
little gun he's like this is not what
no this is not what I wanted
he like tucks it in his collar so when he barks it
fires
I understand Rex.
Rex says he's down the well.
Everyone in the well.
So what do you do when a creature called a bloodhound, a hounder of blood, is too afraid to track a scent?
Well, everyone was so afraid at this point that it went as far as the schools closing down.
And some businesses were forced to close when workers refused to leave their homes to go to their jobs.
Oh my god, that's crazy.
This is some serious stuff.
Now-
This is not that long ago.
It's really not.
In the scheme of people being scared of the devil.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Well, I guess at this point it could
still just be a wild animal yes that's very true because also around the time there was a lot of
wildlife being killed like you know cows yeah being ripped apart chickens they're gone you know
you don't want to get caught up in that when he runs out of chickens but i do know what you're
thinking all right this whole thing seems like an overreaction it does a little bit
we haven't really seen much evidence
seen footprints that's it
we need bread on the table go to work James
this is both parents
just like playing video games
in the living room go to work
James we need loot boxes
get out of here
I need the Hayabusa Halo 3
skin get the f*** back to school Get out of here. I need the Hayabusa Halo 3 skin.
Get the fuck back to school.
Basically, everyone's worked up over a legend.
Then one night, in a nearby town,
civilians were walking down the street,
minding their own business,
when they hear a screech in the darkness.
Uh-oh.
I'll do my best screech.
Okay.
Oh, that was amazing.
They look up into the night.
You look over, I've got red eyes.
You're growing very quickly.
Your ID falls out of your wallet.
State of New Jersey.
You know any hot midwives?
Midwives.
So they're standing there minding their own business.
When they hear the screech, they look up in the sky, but they can't see anything.
Until all of a sudden, a giant winged creature swoops down and began attacking people on the streets.
In absolute fear, the people cried out and alerted nearby police officers okay who
reportedly took out their guns and fired wildly at the beast boom jewel wielding morpheus style
he had mini uzis strapped inside of his jacket with a katana to match sunglasses on couldn't
see shit because it was night he lobbed his katana into night sky it hit an eagle
who was endangered as hell the least patriotic thing you could do eagle with a japanese sword
in this morpheus cup spinning round on the first rotation it's uzi bullets
and then in the same sweep the katana's out throws it into the night sky screaming welcome
to the real world just spears an eagle keeps going tears through an american flag and then like hits a vet in the chest and the vet
falls face first into an apple pie by the time the vet hits the floor the officer's already
handing over his badge and gun it's been 30 seconds and he's been dishonorably discharged yeah i don't see this going well oh god i'm so
lost now uh vigilante police yes bam bam bam they're shooting at this thing into the night sky
but neither of the police officers managed to bring it down after this reported sightings of
the jersey devil skyrocketed to the point where local newspapers had to issue
warnings citizens may be attacked jesus it's one of these things you know where this is basically
a week where the jersey devil wandered into town and terrorized the place okay sightings were
popping up everywhere a few days later the monstereared, attacking a late night meeting of a social club before flying out into the darkness of the sky.
And so what does it look like?
We just know it flies.
It's got a couple different descriptions.
I'll get a picture up for you.
I forgot to print one out and put it in my notes.
But as you'll see, it's kind of weird.
It's a bit like a horse.
It's a pigeon.
But a dragon so i guess do not laugh
right because this is probably like a police sketching that the witness has described of
being attacked by the beast of course but um this is kind of the vibe we're working with here okay what we have here is the body of a antelope of or a horse yeah the neck of a giraffe
the neck is about the size of like a llama i guess more llama yeah yeah because the neck's about as long as the body the head is like a goat giant bat wings huge
bat wings and then a well what kind of tail would you say that is like a long devil tail devil tail
a jersey devil tail to be specific go to guys if you can just imagine your mind a jersey devil
right we'll save really save all this time honestly so i think you might need to go to
patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life and check out the show notes to see all the um
uh see all the just all the images i mean i think if you were gonna make up a paranormal creature
you'd make them cooler than that yeah it's pretty dumb looking yeah it kind of i mean if it was big
and moved quickly it would be quite scary if that
thing was coming at you oh cool here's a like i guess a picture a screenshot of the beast
from a video there's someone claims they saw him flying around that sir is a squirrel how dare you
do you see the wings look me in the eyes and tell me a squirrel has wings. I bet you believe in evolution.
That is a squirrel with a rock behind it.
That's the shittiest proof ever.
That's why I almost didn't show it to you.
Wow.
It was a goof.
Well done.
You called me out.
But you get the idea.
He's like a mishmash of just weird creatures.
Kind of a horse, kind of a goat, kind of a bat.
He's a little demon, essentially bat he's a little demon yeah essentially it's a little demon what what height what size big big i don't know i don't
know how tall he is what's with all these questions i just want to get i can't find any specifics
i'm gonna say devilishly tall all All right. That's a huge cop out.
You're like, you can't just use devilish to describe every aspect of the story.
Yeah, that's like a lifeline that you just use and you can't use it anymore.
I just want you to know that.
Well, one devilish evening.
The Jersey devil ate a deviled egg.
So riffing off what he looked like,
witnesses claimed in certain areas he looked like a large flying kangaroo.
Okay, I can get behind that.
In West Collingswood, it appeared on the roof of a house and was described as an ostrich-like creature.
All these kind of long-necked, weird, birdy things.
Yeah, that's true.
Firemen showed up and tried to blast it with
water what but it attacked them and flew away devils like fire so we brought water during this
entire week of sightings farmers all over town were reporting their animals were being killed
and eaten wow this thing is basically eating all day and attacking all night.
That's the dream life. It is.
That's my dream life. Yeah. Now during
this period, it is rumored that
the Philadelphia Zoo posted a
$10,000 reward
for capturing the creature. That's a lot
of dough back in those days. Yeah, that's
probably like a clean mill at this
point. Probably, right? Now,
this is obviously similar to the vampire beast of
bladenborough which we covered where the mayor then wanted people to bring the beast to him for
yeah yeah so some some um people of power were getting involved at this point but much like the
case of the beast of bladenborough people brought in a ton of dead animals. Okay. And alive animals, actually, including a kangaroo with stuck-on wings.
No!
Which is also quite worrying.
Like, where did you get a kangaroo with stuck-on wings?
Where did you get a kangaroo in 1909 in New Jersey?
It's the beast.
I'm just imagining, like, the situation from the Jersey Shore.
Just, like, rocking up to a zoo yeah i found that uh
found that jersey devil you were looking for yeah yeah this is him over here animal clearly in a ton
of pain he's like let's get this uh let's get this 10 grand wrapped up with anyway yeah the reward
we're talking about a reward the door to the kangaroo exhibit has been like lockpicked open.
It's on the hinges.
Now, not everyone wanted to kill the beast either.
At one point, merchants in the nearby towns offered a reward for the capture of the Jersey Devil
and promised to build it a little private zoo.
It's funny to think that there's people out there with that kind of like
like money to burn but also like i don't know maybe not like that much going on like imagine if we today as a business model we started like a buzz about some cryptid right would we just start getting offers from millionaires just like i'll buy it what
i want it for my house that is weird isn't it to have so much free time going on and money that
you're like i want that yeah i must have it it's so because imagine as well like it would have to
be its own thing you can't have a zoo with the jersey devil in it yeah because he'd go ape shit and just kill everything yeah i don't know but i guess it's like i mean that's a thing in like
texas isn't it there's more tigers in texas in backyards than in the wild now really yeah that's
sad very and in jersey there's more devils than humans by the sounds of it just bad people yeah winding down this section so far
we've heard about the history of the jersey devil we've heard about we've heard some testimonies
of his attacks okay but there are tons of sites out there that post testimonies from people who
have encountered the beast in the present day holy shit i didn't expect that right i know for
this thing to be an ongoing case now i read
through a lot of them uh and there's some pretty crazy stories out there so i picked one that's
descriptive colorful and true okay the magic trio so this entry was called camping with the jersey devil no you're like it was going so good
when my buddy billy invited me to go camping at the weekend i just thought it would be
like good old like the good old days just a regular old weekend out he said uh it was just
him and his friend jd i was painfully surprised to find out it was in fact a demon JD sounded like such a cool chill
name but he was a very unchill angry man unchill demon who is this guy it sounds like he's in court
like so matter of fact yeah this is a testimony from Frank T uh who is he's i guess he's a jersey resident
now obviously i'm going to do our classic voice for storytelling here okay please in the late
1980s a couple of my friends and i took a camping trip to the pine barrens i was unaware that we
were headed to the home of the jersey devil we were headed out on our bikes and did our share of partying that night.
The voice doesn't match the partying at all.
I got to go more redneck with it, I think.
Just a couple lonely cowboys out on the dusty trail.
You know, just partying.
Wearing whenever we can, to be honest.
Taking supplies, you know, leaving no trace.
Right.
But also raging pretty f***ing hard
every night. Just a man,
mother nature, and a whole lot
of crack.
Just a man alone with
God, nature, and
just about
two dozen tins of Heineken.
And some lewds.
Alright, I'll go
more redneck, I guess.
The next day, while everyone was asleep,
three of us decided to hit the trails a bit earlier than usual.
We were about a hundred yards away in the woods
when my bike stalled out.
I looked and found that my friend's bike had stalled also.
Oh.
This beast just set off an EMP.
That's what i'm wondering at first i thought it had something to do with the terrain or maybe something to do with the
nearby power plants 50 feet away from each other oh this thing it's like what's the legendary
pokemon that hangs out at the power plant? The legendary bird?
Zapdos?
Yeah.
This devil has found a power plant.
That's the last thing you want the Jersey Devil to find.
This is like, you know, Godzilla goes with a nuclear plant, becomes a monster.
The Jersey Devil gets like cable.
On a goddamn nuclear reactor.
We tried to start up our backs when suddenly from the woods,
we heard the most horrible piercing scream.
It sounded inhuman, like something being tortured.
Once back at camp, they asked us if we'd heard screams earlier.
They'd heard them too.
Oh, boy.
Four miles away.
Oh, boy.
That night, we were headed into the local town
because we ran out of booze we went into a bar and i ordered a drink we hit head in the town
because we needed a few supplies we had run out of lewds lube booze crack pot and toilet paper
we went into a bar and i ordered a drink stealing shock from what
i'd heard that morning the bartender asked hey kid would you see a ghost or something
after i told him the story he smiled he said it looks like you met our little friend
then he asked to come out back.
He showed us the tin garbage can that was shredded to
bits.
It looked like the shreds
were made from something with three
claws. Okay. I've never
returned to the Pine Barrens since, and I
do not plan on going back.
Interesting.
Now I know what you're thinking. Obviously
this thing is real,
and we gotta go to Jersey to snatch up that 10 grand
and start up the Jersey Devil Zoo.
Do you think the ransom is still active?
No.
I don't...
Honestly?
Doubtful.
I feel like the cost of an all-inclusive monster hunting trip to new
jersey might exceed 10 grand i don't know that's why we got patreon baby that is the bonus tier
of patreon we need emp deactivating bombs to catch this bish like the last thing you want is like a paranormal demon that's also
tech savvy oh my god a goddamn hacktivist demon yeah exactly the mr robot of nessie's like while
he's chowing on your neck he's frapping you to all end he's changing your birthday your profile picture is a naked
penis you're not just dead but you're embarrassed well if we do want to go hunting kit one group is
already ahead of us really they go by the name of the devil hunters okay a bit on the nose and
refer to themselves as quote unquote official, official researchers of the Jersey Devil. Okay.
What do you mean official?
There's no...
God damn it.
I don't know.
Why am I angry about something I've just learned about?
We should be the official hunters.
To be fair, credit where credit is due,
these guys collect reports, visit historical sites,
go on nocturnal hunts in the Pine barrens to try and find evidence that it exists
which is more than i've done 600 hunts in still no sign they just keep bringing in all this
technology that's emp'd immediately shit now i will say i've said he's real a lot yeah you have
you've been you've been yeah batting for that now
as we do on this podcast i'd like to also talk about the other side very briefly okay the pine
barrens the area where the jersey devil is spotted a lot is creepy as shit okay it's foggy it's wild
it inspires folklore exactly it's actually a place that's home to a ton of paranormal beasts.
Okay.
Allegedly.
This includes, obviously you've heard of all these guys.
Okay.
I'm just going to wrap, because other people haven't heard of them.
Oh.
Because they're less specific.
Obviously we studied them for years.
Yeah.
Actually caught two of them.
Yeah.
You can find more about that in the pamphlets for our private zoos.
But just to
talk about them now honestly you read off the list i'll try and guess as you're saying it okay and
like i will be so in sync with this right the first one's a tough one okay the ghost dingo okay
right right that's fine keep what do you mean the ghost just a ghost i haven't finished yet
this includes the ghost of the pirate Captain Kidd,
who supposedly buried treasure in the Pine Barren.
And is sometimes seen in the company of the Jersey Devil.
Oh my god, they're met?
Yeah, because they hang out.
At what point is the jersey devil's
like two shipmates two tunnings of claw and devil weighing down on you and then it sees that you've
got like an earring and you may be a gold tooth and it's like hey this guy's actually pretty chill
let's be friends right before he kills you you mutter parlay which means
you have to speak to the captain before he chows down it's devil law you just hear like a slow
clap from the bushes as the pirate kid emerges very well played jd deactivate the EMP this is the
most bizarre like
fan fiction mashup
of paranormal beasts ever
pirate captain kid
at the jersey channel
JD deactivate the EMP
for captain kid
well look
this is gonna be the best like
avengers style team cause there's a whole crew of them
in these fucking woods we've also got the ghost of the black doctor which is just as racist as
it sounds really okay it is the benevolent spirit of an african-american doctor who after being
forbidden from practicing medicine due to his race, entered the Pine Barrens to practice medicine in the isolated communities.
That's quite a racist yet cool story.
Yeah, well, it's even cooler because he allegedly, if you're out there and lost,
he comes to the aid of injured people in the woods.
That's nice. That's a really cool story.
So he's like a chill ghost, I guess.
Wow, chill ghost. We guess. Wow, chill ghost.
We haven't done any chill ghosts.
We haven't actually.
Any chill paranormal entities.
We've talked about bro ghosts.
Well, that's true.
I think it's about time we brought back bro ghosts.
Boo, dude.
Boo.
You know what?
We'll chuck bro ghost in here so he can join the squad.
Okay, cool.
And then finally, the last member of the team
the black dog is that anything to do with a black doctor he's no he's just a black he's
a ghost of the black dog okay who's usually described as harmless really it might just be
a dog it could just be a dog that's very vague also home is the green flog the red sparrow
oh and we've got one more actually sorry and the white stag a ghostly white deer said to also
rescue travelers in the barrens from danger i just think with all like there's so much going on in
that woods yeah like if if i was in the woods yeah and i freaking tripped over and
scratched my elbow or like worse let's say i broke my leg okay uh because scratch your elbows is
nothing it's actually pretty i could just get up and i'd be fine shattered my legs i've shattered
my legs right and i'm sitting there in the fog thinking how am i getting out of here next thing
i hear in the distance the echoes of a sea shanty like coming through the the freaking
trees i'm gonna kill myself like there's no way that is gonna be a positive thing you know
the baron's life for me pirates are rarely a good encounter it's really true yeah i know yeah
you're not gonna, like,
yell out for help.
You're gonna, like,
cover yourself in lots of leaves.
Exactly, yeah.
To see at least first
how bearded they are.
Right.
How many teeth they have.
If it's, like,
an Orlando Bloom-looking pirate,
fine.
If it's a Keira Knightley-looking pirate,
good.
You know,
call out for help
to those guys.
Yeah.
But if it's what I imagine captain kid looks like bad pirate would be a gritty sea shanty about boozing and falling asleep
but then i guess good ghost pirate is like blasting through the forest is the theme song
for pirates of the caribbean yeah the jersey devil's swinging
in on a vine like to come to your rescue doesn't need it he's got wings it's all for show he loves
it that's it um so obviously i brought a lot of evidence to the table today we've heard testimonies
from people in the real world we've heard testimonies from people in the olden world we've talked about all the ghosts that inhabit the forest the creation of the jersey devil i
appreciate that uh you know the skepticism surrounding the story as well all angles
lots of lots going on here kit what is your feeling the jersey devil is a bear uh and you
think a bear just got onto the roofs of houses
and left undistinguishable footprints in the snow i feel like that was unconnected i feel what about
when the bear quote-unquote flew out of the sky i think those people were drunk at best
high at worst uh it was actually just a hawk carrying a badger for dinner does happen
okay people eagles can carry goats and shit um i was thinking more about the one with the guys
in the i'm sorry i'm not gonna let that go eagles cannot carry goats that's insane don't get your
phone out like you're gonna show me a video of an eagle carrying a goat
you show me a video of an eagle carrying a goat and i admit right now the jersey devil's not real
fine i'll take that bet i don't know what's gonna happen but
so we don't know exactly i'm seeing an eagle on a cliffside. The eagle's coming down. Jesus! He's grabbing
it. He's got his talons in it.
He's trying to lift it.
Oh my god. It's pretty savage.
He's dragging it.
Oh my god.
Holy shit!
He tried to lift
it off the cliff and he dropped
it and the thing just wiped
out. A solid like two or three hundred feet down a cliff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, he killed it, I reckon.
He lifted it for a bit.
That's not enough for me to concede.
You're a coward.
Look, the Jersey devil didn't fly by and shit a goat onto the street.
He swooped down and he attacked people and it was a very clear
violent thing i was thinking about the guys in the the party animals in the woods right and the
you know the the shopkeep that showed them the the bin that just to me reeks of like bear
scavenging in trash three claws bears don't have three claws probably they do they got a ton of
claws maybe a bear with a couple broken nails bears roar they don't shriek for one they heard
blood curling shrieks bears come in all shapes and sizes some shriek i mean i can't argue with
that because it is a true thing but it's not really relative to what i said i guess i just
take umbrage with the idea of the jersey devil if
he does exist eating trash hey no one said he ate the trash and he just wanted to scare people
okay like oh nice bar bro hope you like your bin scratched uh i just don't know if there's enough
uh i mean i appreciate that a lot of the sightings were pre-iPhone.
This is true.
So there's going to be a limit to the amount of photographic evidence we can bring to the table.
Right.
But I kind of feel like those descriptions, those rather I feel those images of what the Jersey Devil looks like are.
I mean, like we described, they are literal mishmash combinations of different animals put
into one it's a kangaroo mixed with a goat mixed with a bat it's like it's totally just like well
we know he walked on a roof and he had hooves but he also flies so he probably has bat wings
but he also has claws because he scratched up the bin i'm like i don't feel like anyone's actually
seen this thing they're just describing what it's done yeah because at the time i was like it sounds
real because you would obviously make up a cooler creature if you were creating a myth around you
know a mythological beast true but then also you're right what they've kind of done is like
probably seen a bunch of creatures so some
dude saw like a bear and he's like he had big claws and he's like when i saw him he had hooves
because he saw a horse you know it's like they've mashed together all these ideas of what it looked
like it's like he had wings when i saw him and he was eating bread in the pond so if you had to uh look i'll i'm a professional here i can detach myself from
the case it's fine so i i mean you're you're clutching your research notes to your heart as
you speak right i'm just scared you're gonna say something you'll regret yeah this is really the
opposite of detaching yourself emotionally from the case like i'm i don't care either way but
it will it will literally
break me what do you mean i'll regret like what are you gonna do something i don't know i have
these blackout periods since when like you know how people sleep i don't sleep i just have the
blackout periods so do you go to bed or i black out uh about eight hours a night from uh 12 to
eight i thought that might be what would be happening. That's fine.
I just like...
A straight up time travel.
I stop dialing 999.
He's fine.
He just doesn't know what sleep is.
I've just got a self-defense knife behind my back.
Oh, he's not dangerous.
He's just dumb.
That's fine.
What do you think? You've brought some interesting shit to the table today thank you uh like i say personally i think you're a card
and an ass all right and i i just don't know if there's enough um meat to these claims that
there's i just don't see um a body of evidence evidence that suggests that this is indeed one creature.
And this isn't just lots of disparate claims across a wide region, across a long period of time, displaying basically animalistic behaviors.
I think the most paranormal thing about this is that we're trying to, is that if it is one creature, it's paranormal.
Right.
But what if it's not one
creature what if it's a bunch of different creatures all right so you know i've said what
i think but what do you think as the investigator on this case uh it's not real i'll start by saying
that we're gonna lead with that um it's basically what we just talked about. Yeah. We wouldn't see a creature that has so many different physical attributes relative to other creatures
if it wasn't just a bunch of people seeing other types of creatures and mashing them together.
I think we need more hard-hitting evidence, more physical evidence, meatier evidence for me to say that it is in fact true.
So until then,
it's going to be a no from me.
I think it's a no from me,
which makes it a double no.
Yeah.
But what a crazy story it is.
That's one of the big ones
that we haven't actually got around to yet.
And there's a couple more of those.
We got Men in Black.
We got Roswell.
We got some big ass investigations guys in the
mentions yap yap yap yap yap yapping in there do this one do that one you know and and let it be
known i'm losing sleep over it so exactly i'm losing blackout periods over it in the mentions
uh what are you joking there there's a few we're kind of staving off some of those bigger cases but
we'll get to exactly so if you want to listen to even more episodes and keep in touch with everything that we're doing,
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So listen, this story all started when a young man named Noah contacted press claiming to be from the year 2030.
Okay.
He claims to have traveled back in time accidentally.
And now that he is here, he wants to tell people about some things that are going to
happen in the next 12 years.
How do you travel in time accidentally?
I don't know.
Wormhole? We haven't got into the specifics of this case yet but in the movies how does it happen uh i guess you've um what's the
movie with matt damon or some shit don't they fly through a wormhole isn't that the isn't that the
premise of blood of the apes doesn't he like fall through a black hole i'm worried that you can't explain the premise of
the movie you're trying to use to explain this much more situation what's that movie
in the third degree two minutes into my own goddamn podcast i thought the beauty of podcasting is you get to say whatever you want
whenever you want.
What is it? Like, f***ing Sauron
went into a wormhole or something
and he wanted some jewelry.
I just start telling the same anecdote
over again. Well, didn't Aragorn
need to travel back in time
or something?