This Paranormal Life - #059 The Masturbating Ghost Monkey of Athelhampton

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

I... I don't even know what to write here. Is this an all time low for investigations? Probably. Are we ashamed? Absolutely not. True paranormal investigators are numb to shame. Enjoy this weeks episode! #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If a banshee screams in space, does she make a sound? If humans evolve from monkeys, where's the tail? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Welcome to this week's podcast. I am going to be your host for today, Rory Spooky Magic Powers, joined by my co-host and professional paranormal investigator Kit Greer Do I not get a middle name? A cool paranormal nickname middle name? Kit Pissy Pants Greer

Wow You asked for that one sir I did it one time Welcome to the podcast where every single week We investigate a brand new paranormal case And as professional investigators of the paranormal We will come to the conclusion as to whether or not it is the truth that's right last week as you know as a as an avid listener

we actually had two yeses pretty unprecedented that's right we on the podcast claimed that the ufo invasion of zimbabwe did in fact take place and that the testimony of those children was fact and i know that you know you guys have been in the mentions just asking us about that one day and night for the last year so uh i'm glad we wrapped that one up with a nice little bow exactly and to continue on the the string of yeses hell yeah let's keep this train going i've got an absolute i mean you might as well say yes to it right now really yeah i'll do it indisputable proof do i get to hear the title at least maybe i think yeah it might change your mind so well before you do say yes you should know that for the first time on this paranormal life this may be the first time we have to warn our viewers this episode may be sexually explicit christ alive i still want to say yes i do not like where this is going i want

to make that very clear from the top uh we are a family show that's why we bleep the f**ks as i like to say our story begins way back in the 15th century in Dorchester, England. Okay. There was a noble family known as the Martins, a wealthy family who decided to build their own large, beautiful home

to fit their large, beautiful family. Cool. They called it Affelhampton. It's a pretty chill name. Yeah. This checks out so far. It's a good story so far. Did I mention

Afflehampton had a sex dungeon? Oh, no. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. Sorry. Okay, okay, okay. So soon,

Afflehampton was finished and it was incredible. We're talking beautiful furnishings. I can just imagine. Lots of 15th century. 15th century. 15th century. So you 15th century so you're talking

not a lot of people know this but um me and you went to didn't we go to like the british museum or some shit one time we did and and one thing that really blew my mind was that maybe some of the overseas viewers particularly don't realize this but but like the Tower of London was legit guarded by lions and elephants. We had like medieval tropical beasts stalking the palaces of Britain. I mean, you don't know what this podcast is going to be about yet, but you're hitting a lot of good points here that are very, very applicable. I'm just saying that, you know, if you've got expensive taste in the 15th century, the sky's the limit is what

I'm trying to say. You can go ham on this place. Absolutely. And I would like to say so far in the podcast, we have mentioned tropical beasts and sexually explicit, which is going to be the running theme in this episode. So let's hang on to that. I'm amazed that this hasn't been held aside

for the Patreon bonus episodes, because usually this is the, you know, this sounds too hot for TV. It does, doesn't it? So soon, Athelhampton was finished. And as I said, just gorgeous, gorgeous place. Just imagine. The whole place came together and it was branded by the Martins family crest. Which was a palm tree and a dick crossed which was a monkey okay sitting on a tree stump

okay not the coolest family crest you know because when i think family crest i think like sword and maybe like a cool shield or something mythical beast. A sword and a stone, or maybe a dragon fighting a unicorn? Not a sad little monkey. Curious George taking a dump. Well, because monkeys are known for two things. Eating bananas and throwing their own shit. And if that is what your family wants to be known for as well, then I don't think you deserve the house.

It's really confusing. I wonder how they got to have that right it's it's so weird uh and if you if you thought the family crest was bad wait to hear the family motto their motto was he who looks at martin's ape martin's ape will look at him so i guess there's a real monkey theme in this family. It's a big part of their heritage. I really like the idea of, I don't know, let's say the younger generations of this family,

back in these days they didn't have photo albums. Maybe they had portraits hung up on the walls. And as the kids are going through this beautiful castle that belongs to their family, they're walking along the corridor, just looking back at all the old portraits of their grandfather and the grandfather before them. And they come to one that's just covered in a curtain. And they're like, what's behind that curtain, Papa?

And Papa is like, don't look behind there, Junior. You must never look behind the curtain. Well, one night, Junior sneaks into the corridor late at night. He simply can't get it off his mind. He pulls the curtains aside. His grandpapa was a monkey. The name at the bottom, Dr. Zaius. It's a bonafide monkey in a suit.

Not even an ape. A spider monkey. The suit is ten sizes too big. Lightning flashes and the shadow is his father like appears on the wall. So you know. His dad is now a monkey as well. Older than a banana.

The son looks at the back of his hands Like hair growing His father's walking towards him He who looks at Martin's ape Martin's ape Looks back Well with a family motto Talking about monkeys

And your family crest being a monkey on a tree stump You better get yourself a damn monkey. What was the name of this family again? The Martins. The Martins. M-A-R-T-Y-N-S. Okay. So they did.

The Martins bought a monkey. Really? For their estate, and gave him free roam over the house. This little guy could do whatever he wanted. You know he's just, like like the noble family love him but it's like all the servants have to clean up everything he does you know they dress him in like you know very fine clothes for monkeys but they're just soiled every single day he's obviously got rabies and he's biting everyone and they're like good little boy and it's the 15th

century so they they think the monkey just eats insects or whatever. So this monkey is malnourished, starving, got bugs all over it. And while everything was fine for a brief period of time, the family appeared perfect. But like many rich families, underneath the perfect surface, trouble was brewing. You see, legend has it that one of the daughters was having a dangerous love affair. Romeo and Juliet style. Maybe dad wasn't happy.

Maybe the man was horrible. But whatever it was, like Julietiet she decided to end it all this has moved this has moved so fast like you've decided to talk in riddles for the most crucial aspect of the story so far we're going into painstaking detail about them purchasing a monkey but if just to clarify for listeners at home i'm to understand that the daughter of this family started a love affair with a monkey. She didn't start a love affair with the monkey. Okay. She was having a love affair with someone, with another, with a man.

Listen. Not the monkey. You say a monkey joins the family. You start talking about a love affair. I'm going to connect the two dots, okay? Is that so bad? You say interspecies relationship and all i didn't say that you say monkey sex party and expect my ears not to perk up no one said that

there's been zero mention of a sex party she's she's having an affair with someone else okay another human being just to be clear yes and it's so bad, I'm not sure what the details were, but it's gotten so bad that she decides she wants to commit suicide. Really? It's the only way out. That's truly tragic. So late one night, she got out of her bed and roamed through the house. But sensing something was wrong, the monkey followed her.

Okay. The daughter then climbed a set of hidden stairs that led to a secret room, not noticing that the monkey was following shortly behind her, thinking that no one would ever find her. It was in this hidden room that the poor daughter decided to take her own life. No! I thought the monkey was going to intervene, little piece of shit monkey. Like, she jumps off the chair and he, hops up and like cuts the rope or something.

Choose the rope. Yeah. I'll tell you this. Listen, I'm calling it right now. If we're going to, if I was a betting man. There is no way you're going to be able to guess what happens next. This monkey wants the inheritance. He's trying to take them out one by one.

He wants the castle to be his. You know what's cooler than a million dollars a million bananas i'm so glad we said that at the same time imagine if you're like you know what's cooler than a million dollars a million sex party oh oh right the banana thing yeah of course because you could eat that. Right. You can't do sex. The only thing different about those two is that you can eat one. You're right. That makes it better.

But what she didn't realize when she took her own life was that the monkey was locked in the secret room with her. I don't think that was on her mind, but go on. I don't think anyone in this house gives a f*** about the monkey. No.

I think it's just a play along with the family crest. Well, when the family woke up and discovered the daughter was missing and the monkey, this is such a stupid story. They demanded the castle was searched from top to bottom. I love the idea of like a servant, you know, the morning they realize servant like runs, like bursts into the door. Your Highness, we've got terrible news. And he like wakes up. What's the problem?

And they're like, come with me quickly. And they like rush down to the daughter's room, you know, the whole family. And they burst in and they see like the empty bed, like the open window. They have no idea where she's gone. And, you know know the father's like oh dear god where's my monkey he hasn't even noticed the daughter's missing at all he cares so much more for the monkey it's like funeral like hard cut to funeral procession for the daughter and it's like just like a shitty old like wooden coffin or whatever it's like listen we would love to have a proper ceremony but we just spent so goddamn much in george's coffins like he's not

even dead he's still alive yeah but i was really freaking scared he was hurt for a bit also the gold statue cost us a pretty penny there's like a giant george a banana. They've given him a six pack with a statue. Just a leaf covering his monkey dick. We wanted to depict him, you know, living his best life is like a gold statue of him holding a shit. Yeah, they're just like, we just wanted to make sure the statue depicted how much of a heroic and noble symbol it was. He's eating his own shit right now he's trying to hump the leg of his own statue because he's still alive so they they go in there and they're freaking out you know the daughter's missing and the damn monkey's missing

as well that's true as if this day couldn't get any worse so the father and the mother freak out and they order everyone to search the grounds of the house try and find out what's going on good but by the time the family located the secret room the monkey was also dead oh man how did what how is there a secret room that the family don't know i don't know all these castles have secret rooms and hidden stuff right i guess i mean if they're weird enough to have a monkey they're probably weird enough to have some hidden places they don't know about. Fair. Now, as we know, Kit, the daughter is dead.

The only thing more tragic than the too soon death of a child is the death of a beautiful monkey. But we know that when the dead have unfinished business here on Earth, their spirits are said to be cursed to wander the Earth until they are put to rest. this uh this person out there that her family obviously didn't approve of and she felt so driven to commit suicide that she she had to make the ultimate ultimate sacrifice to take her own life she she must have have come back as a spirit to haunt the earth wrong oh the ghost of the monkey haunts the halls okay Okay, so the girl was chill. She was happy to go. I guess she went the way she wanted to.

She was at peace with the situation. But the monkey? Hell no! He was pissed. He was freaking the f*** out in that room. He was pounding the walls until his little heart gave out. Can you imagine? How did they not find that room sooner?

I would imagine a monkey in that situation. He goes, until his little heart gave out. Can you imagine the sound? Like, how did they not find that room sooner? I know. Just, like, I would imagine a monkey in that situation. Just... It's like a demon on a roller coaster. That's what a monkey sounds like. Christ alive. So the ghost of this monkey haunts the halls, swinging from the rafters. Really?

Visitors have said that he can be heard scratching at the paneling of the secret room desperately trying to escape oh man and also a lot of the time he's masturbating you made that bit up i didn't no a lot of the testimonies who say they've seen the monkey he's the ghost monkey is jerking it. Shut the f*** up. I'm not. That's why I wanted to warn our listeners, this is a sexually explicit podcast.

This is the story of the masturbating ghost monkey. I thought you were going with that. Well, I know, as I said, I wanted to continue the streak of yeses on the podcast. Right, so you thought this would be the most believable. This is the the you research for the last i mean you i googled on a work computer you masturbating monkey ghost i mean additionally you made me cover the research for the last four episodes usually we do episode episode uh about

like you know one week you do it one week i do it you said you need like a good three to four weeks off to really prep you said it would be a big two-parter you said it was one week I do it. You said you need like a good three to four weeks off to really prep. You said it would be a big two-parter. You said it was going to be one of the most requested. I thought we might hear from Roswell or maybe Men in Black or something like that. Yeah, you said more believable. You said that small fry stuff. When we talked about it on the phone, I said that this case is going to be bananas.

And then I winked even though a phone call is an audio medium and uh that was not transferred well also what's worrying is that as we said when the the dead are linked to a location or stuck on the earth because they have unfinished business if this monkey's rolling around masturbating did he die like mid wank like he's cursed to just forever wank maybe that's it if you jesus i can't believe we're talking about this that if you die if you're a monkey and you die or a human mid coitus self coitus you never get to finish the job a white ghost with blue balls. Is that hell? Is that purgatory? That is definitely hell. Wow. Well, despite the legends and the ghost monkey jacking it in the rafters, Athelhampton has become an actual popular tourist destination. Okay. And it's listed as one of the

most haunted homes in the UK. One tourist who visited recently, Johnrison of derby said we heard that the monkey that haunts the house loves to scratch his privates and swing about we didn't see him which is a shame because it would have been a real sight apparently he's not terrifying quite friendly is what we've heard like that's the problem he's too friendly he's jacking it everywhere that's what you got to be worried about. I mean, there's something kind of cute about the idea of, like, you know, going to see these haunted locations is usually considered a scary activity. You go to do, you know, a ghost train to get spooked, you know,

to get to feel the thrill. Yeah. This seems like a kind of, like, fun, fun like you could take your kids to this castle because this is well like well they'd learn a lot about life okay it's kind of like going to the zoo it's like uh i don't know i guess it's a really shit weird zoo i don't want any father to take their son to this house to like teach them about the birds and the bees. Well, son, when you become a certain age, you go through something called puberty, and, uh, George, do you want to explain the rest?

Ah! Monkeys swinging around with his dick in his ass. Now, as if dealing with a masturbating ghost monkey wasn't bad enough, the monkey is not alone. What? Athelhampton House is said to have six other ghosts. Right, really? A giraffe, also jacking it.

Elephant, he's going at it. Something about this castle is catnip to this monkey's junk. The rest of the ghosts are human. Do not worry. The rest of the ghosts are human. Something about this castle is catnip to this monkey's junk. The rest of the ghosts are human. Do not worry. The rest of the ghosts are human, and their hands are firmly by their side. Good. This place has become so famous in the paranormal world that it was even featured on TV's Most Haunted.

Most Haunted. Good show. Very good show. Hacks, but I respect them pandering to the the mainstream audience yeah the lame stream audience on the episode of the show a crew of paranormal investigators cameramen and a spiritual medium okay spent a whole night in the castle to try and make contact with the spirits in the house including the monkey including george well we're just calling him george of Curious George now.

Okay. But unless George was ever curious about his dick, I don't think that really applies. But they were trying to talk with the monkey. They were trying to talk with the monkey as well.

And I actually have a good clip of when, I believe it is the medium, starts to make contact with George the monkey. Very, very excited for what this might hold. So this is, to be clear, this is Derek Okora. He was getting information from his spirit guide, Sam,

about the legend of the trapped monkey, Martin's ape. This is the stairwell down. And the monkey needs to go. I need to go into the cellar. Can you feel the essence of him? It seems that this monkey was used to being looked after, cared for. He had a master. And there was one daughter who tried to apparently, you know, befriend.

But the reason why the monkey, still to this present day, roams is because he's not linked up with his master again. Oh. He misses him and he's going through all this. Okay. So that's it, not mid-jack. Yeah. That might just be him frustrated, to be honest.

And you know... Like that. A lot. Scratching. People have reported hearing a scratching noise, which they put down to the legend of the monkey. It's the monkey doing it. Not because the monkey's distressed or feeling jammed.

The monkey's doing this just as, I suppose, a gesture to say, hey, I'm around, you know. Well, the story has it the monkey was not in the staircase with somebody else and it couldn't escape and starved. And that's why it's scratching in an attempt to get out. No, I beg to differ on that that monkey had the freedom to come up and down up and down and the um he did uh leave his own physical body here but it wasn't a case of being jammed and i don't i don't feel in any way

shape or form as if this monkey was distressed before leaving its physical body let's go and have a break i love it's like the woman who's clearly worked at the castle for years and years and knows all the lore and she's like oh well it's because you know the woman uh committed suicide here and the monkey was trapped in the room nope nope. Nope. He's telling me now. He just does it to show everyone, hey, look, I'm here. I'm the monkey. And the woman's just like, let's take a quick break. But that's interesting hearing from a medium, a professional medium. Do you know this guy?

So I'm surprised. Do you not know this guy? I mean, I know him, but why don't you tell me who he is? And I'll make sure I'll know if you know him. guy i mean i know him but why don't you tell me who he is and i'll make sure y'all know if you know him derrick akora is uh kind of an infamous character uh as the face of most haunted he also appears as a tv medium does live appearances where he you know acts as a medium between living and the dead for live audiences i better just stop talking right now before i finish somebody no no that's very interesting what he had to say it is isn't it because obviously i've told you the story and us collectively we've you know we've created the reasons behind why this

is happening okay based on the facts that we know okay so it's interesting to hear someone else's opinion based on him allegedly having a spiritual connection with the monkey right right right right right yeah it's it's there's something kind of i mean this feels like a little bit of a broader topic but we haven't come across in our research too many animal ghosts exactly animal poltergeists this is weird like it's kind of convenient that it's a monkey because monkeys are like one of the closest animals to humans it's kind of interesting that they get a ghost yeah yeah you know like a dog doesn't necessarily i guess we did phantom kangaroos that's probably the closest one we've had that's true but that was not very sexually explicit no those are very well-behaved kangaroos. There was another funny bit in this episode of Most Haunted

where he's kind of channeling the spirit of, I guess, a past resident who lived at the house. And he's talking like, these are my halls. This is my home. And one of the crew goes, who sits upon the throne right now? And he just pauses for a second. He just goes, find out yourself.

He had no idea. I might drop that clip in because it was priceless. I cracked up. That's hilarious. Find out yourself. What year is it? 1605. 16 cranked up. Find out yourself. What year is it? 1605.

1605? Yes. Can you hear me? Who is on this throne? Find out yourself. But also just the gap as well. I don't know. To be fair, the ghost might have...

That might have been his gap, not the medium's. That's true, yeah. I don't know. I mean, mediums are tricky. Let's not beat around the bush there. Some people believe in them, some people don't. If your bar for evidence includes mediums, then we might have some evidence for the existence of this particular monkey ghost.

Exactly. However, in the paranormal world, we're referred to as larges. that we might have some evidence for the existence of of this particular monkey ghost exactly however in the paranormal world we're referred to as larges which means we're a tier above them we hold all the cards now extra larges are a whole different thing don't ask us about that we don't do shit venti that's rah andrea cook who has lived in the house with her family for more than 20 years. Really? Since these events, you know, said that she has witnessed all sorts of odd and inexplicable things. And while many people have a rational explanation, she says,

there's always some, there's always some which don't have a rational explanation are you being are you a medium right now is the ghost of this woman speaking through you find out for yourself we did that right now and i was like i am now andrea cook and you're like okay andrea do you feel any spirits in the house i don't know i think it's a waste of time is there anyone else that we can talk to have i done good enough this is a mistake they're not here to talk to you right now please leave a message and i'll get back to you what she said the most recent event was a dark hooded figure which rushed past one of our cleaners on the first sighting oh on the first sighting she assumed that she had no that is her on the first sighting the cleaner had imagined it she thought she'd imagined it. I f***ing suck at this. But ten minutes later, it came towards her again,

up the old servant's staircase, and hurried past her into a bathroom. That's a burglar. That is an absolute burglar. The next day, the cutlery was gone, and the telly. I feel like there's a gap in the market for burglars here. Dressed as ghosts. Burglaring haunted locations.

That's a really good idea. Because you could just literally walk in in a white sheet. With a Glock and go, shh, shh, boo, motherfucker. Just in the middle of a crowded room and they would be all like, do you see him too?

As he's taking your wallet. And they're speaking like really old-timey english you know one move if you know one wants to get you sort of hurt his accomplices are coming in but just not they didn't bother to dress up either this ghost seems to have henchmen somehow despite all of these claims she she says that it's actually a lovely place to live. I beg to differ. But adds that when her sons were younger, their friends refused to sleep over at Athelhampton

Hall because of, quote unquote, doors being agitated. Monkey business. Figures at the end of the bed. Figures stood in the doorways. The sound of rapid footsteps backwards and forwards in your bedroom. This doesn't sound like

a nice place to live at all. No, no, no. It really doesn't. It sounds like you're living in a ghost train, like on a ghost train, but it's stuck so it's just doing

loops of the house. So if this was, if you were on like TripAdvisor right now and you were, you know, looking at the reviews for a hotel and one review said

five stars, nice place to a hotel and one review said five stars nice place to be and the next review said one star there are masked figures cloaked figures walking up and down a monkey masturbated over me in my sleep masturbated there is a young girl committed suicide in this room yeah um i would choose not to stay there i don't know about you guys um i don't think I would either. Yes, I think that's fair. I mean, well, maybe for the sake of the podcast, I'd give it a shot. Right.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility. I don't know how close this place is. Yeah, maybe we should look into this. Actually, I'm going to do that right now. I'm just going to look it up on my phone. I opened up Safari. I've got so many tabs about monkey wanking. No.

Monkey jacking monkey penis size. Monkey goes bananas at sex party. Nope, none of this. Monkeys gone wild. Barely legal monkeys. Hot monkey t-shirt contest. Barely legal monkeys. They've been imported from a bar.

They haven't had their shots. These are some dangerous monkeys. This is dark. Five hours away. That's pretty far. By car, three hours. Walking, two days. What's the closest city?

It's just outside of Bournemouth. So if we have any listeners in the paranormal nation... Actually in Dorchester. Dorchester. In Dorchester. If you want to take the lead in this investigation, that'd be swell. Absolutely. Pick yourself up a pack of bananas, head on over there, and just hold on tight because it's going to be a wild ride.

Yeah. And all I'll say is hand over the bananas fast. Immediately. Do not hesitate at all. That's probably one bit of advice. So as I said, you look really worried that I've put the laptop aside. So we had a yes on last week's podcast, and I really wanted to make the streak continue. I brought some evidence to the table today. Some of it came in the form of legends, yes, but some of it came in the form of a testimony from a well-respected medium. Well-respected is one way way to describe dark akora right well known sure kit what are your thoughts so this podcast has been a bit of a wild ride this is definitely on the stranger side of um

topics we've covered on this podcast if this had been the the the haunting of a poltergeist the haunting of this young woman that tragically killed herself you know we would have a much more textbook case right this is uh it's only a curveball with this frankly rich legacy of monkey business in this family and we have a kind of unprecedented story of an animal not having finished their business here on earth that is right is doomed to to walk the halls of this castle um i mean i don't derrick acora's opinion of that this monkey needs to be reunited with his master for him to pass on into the next monkey life yeah definitely sounds like an opinion to me i think so uh i think so because it seemed to contradict literally everything everyone had come to know about

the heritage of that castle and what had happened with the monkey but simultaneously you know um as a paranormal investigator there is there is um there is space for the belief in my life for ghosts and paranormal entities. And I would never... A monkey-shaped hole? A monkey-shaped space, would you say? I wouldn't be someone to say that, you know, we can't have animal ghosts. I think this is an exciting new avenue to go down. Absolutely.

I guess before we start getting to conclusions, you know, you're the principal investigator in this one. What did you make of this case? Well, as you said, it opens up a whole new dialogue, a whole new book of questions. If a monkey dies, could it go to heaven if it behaved well? Would I go to jail for murdering a monkey? Right. These are questions that I'm only now pondering.

I mean, you already have been multiple times a couple ones yeah not monkeys though because they fight back those little bastards will go for you i mean it's i it's quite a fine line you were jailed for um killing apes well they took my bananas so my bananas my turf you didn't tell me we're going to do but you told me to make a distraction to get the zoo attendants away from the enclosure as far as possible you jumped into the ape enclosure yeah i actually failed a pretty big front flip yeah went straight down on my neck it was not the entrance i was hoping for yeah you were not able to walk and and those gorillas did ground you and they did pound you and actually it was all pointless because i smushed the bananas on the landing

so when i went to brag it was just a pile of mush pretty pissed about that one actually i think that was more than anything i mean i'm just lucky they got tranked in time because the blows they were dealing were heavy enough yeah yeah i would have been dead i think by now the doctor said it was a good thing they missed and tranked you first because you went limp and the damage that was done to your body was minimal after that i'm surprised they let me back in the zoo honestly that species is extinct now so really i should have known well i guess you know the week gets left behind you eat a banana right here in front of me i think it is an interesting story i don't know if we have enough evidence i haven't seen a picture of the monkey jacking it or even like um i don't know if we have enough evidence i haven't seen a picture of the monkey jacking it

or even like um i don't know what you can get with ghost readings pictures of where he's like faded in the background yeah i mean we haven't actually done uh a ghost story in a little while yeah it's hard isn't it what is the bar for evidence there we've never had a legitimate case of a photographed ghost just yet so i mean i don't know if that's even possible i think there's different ways you can do it like fluctuations in light or sound or that little reader that reads emf reader or something like that some abbreviation of letters that apparently can like pick up spiritual surges so it might be worth buying some of that gear and going to this castle and checking it out for ourselves but until then

i think this case is just two damn bananas i know you don't want to say no but that's a no yeah that's a hard no i could not be harder like the monkey i could not be harder. Like the monkey, I could not be harder. That is the, that's the tagline for this app, I think. So you're a yes? That's right. Double no this week, I think. Okay. Unfortunately, but goddamn, what a ride. So thank you so much for listening to this episode of This Paranormal Life.

We are at This Paranormal Life on Twitter. And on Facebook, we have our secret society. Where you can join, chat with everyone. I mean, don't tell anyone about it, obviously. But chat with everyone who listens to the show. Post your own paranormal experiences. This is a placeholder, all right? Because when the commune gets set up,

we'll be living this life face to face. That's right. I mean, of course uh anonymity will be preserved so everyone will wear a mask yeah um communication will all be vetted by us probably in all probability we'll probably have to vet everything everyone says um i mean we're probably what we're looking at hopefully is just a mass community of people talking in bleeps and bloops that no one understands except us. Yeah. Ideally. Exactly. But that's just so

it's safer for everyone, okay? Hard-code it. Make sure everything is safe. We just want to make a safe, sterile environment. Environment of believers. For everyone to live in. Did we also forget to mention it's going to be a 24-7 rager? We're going to party our asses off in this cult commune

in the in the in the common sorry in the car not in the cult this definitely not a cult because in my personal experience in many years of being in this industry and in cults you've been in a lot of cults you will you will see the most demons after 72 hours of taking molly as as a wise man once said um you gotta see the devil to become your own god exactly who better to fight a paranormal beast than a party animal and finally if you want even more from this paranormal life we have our patreon where from as little as two dollars every month you can get all the bonus notes where we post everything we talked about on the episode five dollars and gets you bonus episodes upwards from that we're talking t-shirts all crazy kinds of merch so definitely check it out if you want to support the show and get a little bit extra out of it and i think that about wraps us up for this week we'll be doing

patreon shout outs a little bit later in the month and until then we will see you next tuesday goodbye bye in the month and until then we will see you next tuesday goodbye bye