This Paranormal Life - #066 We Try to Summon Bloody Mary the Evil Witch

Episode Date: June 20, 2018

Does the tortured soul of an evil witch still haunt those who are foolish enough to summon her? Well Rory and Kit are just foolish enough to try...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When someone takes a Polaroid of you, do they steal part of your soul? Who would win in a fight? A witch or a wizard? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life. Welcome to the podcast. It's a Tuesday. It's a paranormal day. And you are here joining us in a very spooky little room with your two pals, Rory Powers and Kit Greer. It's very much like the Chokey from Matilda, if you remember that. Yeah.

Except instead of one child trapped in there, it's two grown men with microphones. It's two children, two children with microphones. If you haven't listened to this podcast before, me and Kit are professional paranormal investigators. My mother in the womb would play, you know how like some parents to like educate their children right they'll play like uh classical music yes get them started

yeah my mother played yeti mating calls right blasted into her belly so when i came out i was hungry for the beast right bit like a sniffing dog she just gave you a little scent give me a scent before you even learn to hold your head up straight yeah i popped out the doctor spanked my ass and i was and i was off to the races it was all i needed the next 12 months in the antarctic roaming around like a baby demon ironically i became the the weirdest beast oh mama needs another baby to hunt me. The family of yetis actually took pity on me because it was so barbaric. So on this week's podcast, you know, I got a really interesting case here.

Really? It's one of these big high-profile ones that, you know, you just, you're like, how have we not done this one yet? Really? It's crazy, yeah. Oh, wow. That's really cool. I'm really excited to hear that. So our story today begins way back in the 13th century. 13th century. I didn't know we had like big paranormal cases going that far back.

Oh, yeah. It's interesting. Oh, yeah. And we are in Northern England. Northern England. And let's not romanticize it, people. It was a dirty, ignorant time. Because I was going to romanticize it i was you were thinking

petticoats horse and carriage yes gentlemen maybe even swords shields battle axes right or do i maybe maybe i'm a little bit you think that's romanticizing it maybe that's am i like getting my years wrong i'm thinking like trebuchets yeah horseback mongolians wrong wrong part of the world wrong part of the world wrong time and also most importantly not romantic okay that's well actually that's subjective so i've actually really turned on the thought of a trebuchet launching right now i am very aroused i mean it's no coincidence they designed them to look like big swinging dicks there's a lot of isolation and a lot of religious extremism and that is a bad combination of things at the time they thought it was normal but today we realized that it was a uh religiously

and socially repressed time bad bad bad times there's probably a plague in there somewhere as well i don't know shit about history no plague in there somewhere as well i don't know shit about history no well in the small village of i don't know what's called let's make it up it's called cauldron town have you researched there was there was an old woman in cauldron town cauldron time did you know her name yeah her name's actually fucking mary worth so let me see that sheet of paper let me you show me that that says okay he wrote unnamed wench on the on the sheet i just want everyone to know that uh because her cabin was just outside of the town she was pretty isolated from the rest of the village okay she would spend her days making herbal remedies and selling them to weary travelers. Oh, she kept to herself and people kept away from her one day in the village

Girls started to go missing one after another families were waking up with their daughters Just gone what this is going very quickly. I know sorry They looked everywhere in the village, but they all turned up empty-handed. Wow. What could it be? I know, right? I mean, these days, you know, all the young women in one village go missing. Listen, there's probably a Jason Derulo concert on somewhere. An absolute rager in the forest. Justin Bieber stands are all, you know, like geeking out somewhere. And you know they're going to Mary, getting her to make her those potions, those underage

potion chuggers out in the woods having a blast. They're just having a good time these days. They're like, chug this bro, it'll turn you into a newt. There's like bats flying around, like half animals, half humans all banging each other.

These were barbaric times. Barbaric fun times i actually freaking yearn for those days yeah the days of all i actually would like to like to go back to the rage of all we started saying this was a bad awful time but now it's actually sounding pretty good it's actually sounding pretty chill because newsflash today is shit i don't know if you knew that but now is bad i don't know if anyone's read a little thing called the news lately. The world's actually in a little bit of disarray. Oh, and as you know, this is a small village.

There's not really a lot of places that they could be. But there's one place in the village they haven't searched yet. Mary's Cabin. So a number of townsfolk decided to head over and scope the place out. You just gotta, you know, leave no stone unturned. Gotta check out all available options here.

Absolutely. It's not because she's creepy and because she keeps to herself. No. Because she lives in the outskirts of town and no one has any contact with her and knows what she does. Sells potion that turns children into newts.

Right. It's just because it's the last stone unturned. Absolutely. So they head out there, and upon searching the cabin, they came up empty-handed. Wow. Did they find Mary there, at least? Mary was there. Okay.

Yeah. But they look through all her stuff, and it's chill. Okay. They're looking for, like, girls, and they're like you find anything no i have no cauldron right uh eye of newt yes black cat yes a couple of sticks little chopsticks they're chinese around here from the basement all the times people are like whoa whoa, check out this potion. You got an eye of nude. That is so lit.

That's amazing. She's like, don't listen to the voices. Don't listen to the voices. Look at this. She's like making all the furniture levitate. And they're like, that is pretty cool. She's juggling at this point. Juggling girls.

Don't pay attention to them. Don't look at the objects. Just look at the objects just look at the action slight of hand it's amazing what people won't notice so even though they didn't find the girls the villagers did notice something strange mary allegedly looked younger than ever Never. She was a goddamn 10. This old woman had become an absolute hottie. So this is... Pardon my French, but she was gorgeous. Is this... Did anyone in the 13th century research on this?

Did anyone actually make that note? Or is this you extrapolating, just like inserting your own artistic license did they did they mention that she was a dime piece no one specifically said that but if she was an old decrepit woman in the forest and they show up and she's in like i don't know gucci belt Gucci belt Apple bottom jeans Boots with the potion stains Got the whole town looking for girls She's looking good The best she's ever looked

So the townspeople are all walking in an angry mob With flaming torches And the person at the front of the mob Is going let me just warn you This lady is senile. She may not understand whatever we're asking her. Next thing they know, this old lady opens the door. She's got her hair in a messy bun.

She's looking like a student. She's just like, oh, hey, what's up, guys? Absolutely. They're like, oh, is Mary in? She's like, I'm Mary. I'm like, God. She's a lot younger than we remembered. Yeah.

So weird off the bat. Already a little bit weird. I think if you prep everyone being like, there's an old witch who lives in a hut. Right. And you show up and you're just like taken aback. Right. You're not going to be expecting that.

But isn't that the most witchy thing in the world? It's very suspicious. I'll say that right now. The villagers were suspicious, but there's not really much you can do. It's true so they left now things are quiet in the village for a while but it isn't long before the next incident there was a family in the village called the millers and one night after a busy day on the farm

or whatever the hell old people did they decide to hit the hay or whatever wherever old people slept mother miller is tucking her daughter into into bed right tight as well because she doesn't want this girl to go walk about yeah and she's like you know kiss on the forehead have a good sleep sweetheart i won't i won't I won't. I won't. I won't for all the other, all my friends are gone. No, that's not. Look, I know not a lot of girls have been going missing recently. Yes.

That's definitely over now. That's fine. I don't feel safe. And I really would prefer it if I could sleep in your room. How about, I'll read you a little story to, I'll read you a story and then you'll feel better. I'm 17. Okay. I don't need to be read to.

How would you like... I would really prefer it if I had company, people who could keep me safe. Go to... Shush now. Here's... I want you to forget about witches and wizards and magic. So just relax. I can't.

We'll read Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Sword. Chapter one. Harry was a wizard. Okay. There's also witches in this world. You failed already. Witches are real. It's just a book.

It's just a book. Calm down. It's just a book. You're manipulating my emotions. It was year one at Hogwarts and Harry was afraid his daughter would be grabbed by witches. I feel like you're trying to disturb me at this point.

I think it's in my head now as well. I've never noticed how crooked your nose is. And how your feet barely seem to touch the ground at all. I never noticed you could juggle so many girls. Mum's at the bottom of the bed. Well, that night, the daughter awoke from her slumber. She could hear a sound

faint in the distance. This alluring wail. I'm sorry, is that what an alluring wail is for it to sound like? Ooh! The call of the witch. Ooh! so can we just get a call of the witch something like one of those right it's it's like this witch is like you can like kissy noise as well oh so she so she obviously all of those noises were very uh alluring so she begins to follow the sound as if in a trance as she moved through the house she accidentally woke up her mother and father oh of course she's in like a trance you know she's smacking her head off all the pans and pots on the way out

stepping in like mousetraps she probably accidentally walks into their bedroom accidentally smacks her mother and father over the back of their head. And say, I never loved you. Still in the trance. Beats her bald dad over his bald head. Just on the way out of the house. Says, get a job, cue ball. I'm still in a trance, though.

Don't blame me for this shit. Taking money out of his wallet. Raiding the fridge.'s like megan you can't ah ah ah trans megan two different people she cannot be punished for what trans megan does i still don't think silence trans megan has had enough you're like it's not even it's daylight outside you're supposed to be in school silence This has been going for three weeks. There's no way you're still in a trance. Trance Megan is out of ice cream. Why is she going a robot?

Trance Megan requires ice cream. So she accidentally wakes up her mother and father. Right. And they run outside to see their daughter in the distance. Trance Megan walking into the forest. Cripes. And they start yelling at her. No one else can hear this alluring sexual wail.

Right. It's only. Deadly silent. Interesting. So they're like, Megan, come back. Yeah. Megan. But she keeps walking out to the woods.

So her father, like any good father would. Right. Grabs his gun. What? Loads that bad boy with silver bullets. Rounds up a group of other muggle dads to go chase her down holy shit now i want to reiterate at this point that this story is a legend there's a chance it might be slightly exaggerated also when were guns invented as they approach the no i just i just just want to get to the bottom of that.

We are on a tight sketch is the only thing. It is genuinely late. I think we're at 1130 right now. So if you want to... Do you want to keep talking about the... You want to do the gun thing? Okay. No, that's fine.

That's fine. All right. Okay, look. What do you want to Google right now? How, when were guns made siri says um mind your own goddamn business siri uh when were guns invented holy f**k it actually um megan's ad f**king invented guns that's insane i i actually i knew that as well that was one of the bullet holy shit he actually on the fly this was it wow he freaked out he was like oh

my god i need a weapon it was just like just in divine inspiration just at that moment oh wow it wasn't even like an old-timey pistol like he actually panicked and on the fly invented the dragon off 50 cal really he was afraid of the witch so i think from a distance the sniper rifle would give him the tactical advantage and we we're talking. Red dot sight. We're talking. You know. Night vision. So he's.

Megan's in good hands. Okay. As they approach the woods. The far. The gang of father muggles. They saw a light. Glowing in the. We need.

By the way. We need some. Right now. We need some awesome. Montage. Like. Dad squad. Music.

I don't know what that would be. Oh yeah. Yeah. Maybe some kind of 70s rock you know i'm gonna do like a little uh riff here dad squad yeah dad squad yeah yeah yeah yeah don't touch the thermostat don't touch the thermostat or i'll be pissed and i am your dad When your daughter walks into the woods What you gonna do? Get the dad squad together

That was pretty good actually Your daughter's taken by a witch Load up your pistol Shoot that son of a bitch in the face, yeah Muggle dad squad What is magic? Mother bitch in the face, yeah. Muggle dad squad. What is magic? They don't know.

They're the dad squad. We have to have another pass with that. Have to have an actual rap break done. The only line I had prepared was, what is magic? They don't know. It's the motherfucking dad squad. Nowhere to go from there we're gonna try that last one again what is magic they don't know mother

this is like they're you know when they're like handing out business cards it's like what is magic we don't know right dad squad i love it like ironically they're really shit at every conventional activity dads are supposed to be good at so it's like i actually like bust a pipe in my sink nope we don't know that it's like what because you don't know magic vigilante witch hunters mostly and to be honest we're pretty iffy at that too his gun goes off in his belt sorry sorry about that one well i actually made this myself it's happened surprisingly often but you didn't make a safety for it a what never heard of the word guns are dangerous as shit there's no safety involved bad dad guns don't kill people witches do another. Another great t-shirt. So as they approached the glass...

I was thinking more about that. Witches break down. It's for the f***ing dad squad. I don't know shit. As they approached the light glowing in the darkness, Megan's father cocked his gun as they walked closer and closer. As they broke through... F***ing hell. I obviously added cocked his gun all

right you know the laugh at it he probably didn't cock his 13th century revolver probably not as they broke through the trees they couldn't believe their eyes the old woman Mary was standing amongst the trees holding a wand pointing it right at the miller's home megan was being drawn into the to the light god damn megan's father at this point has frankly not had enough fast enough dad squad draws his firearm blast the witch right in the hip mary had been neutralized the muggle's dad the muggle dad squad quickly searched the house for any evidence sure they find a cauldron maybe a want okay but no missing daughters still no missing daughters god damn well at least he he did a non-fatal aim.

So they can at least get some answers out of her, hopefully. Yeah, he was actually aiming to kill. That's the kind of sad thing. He was going right for the face. Right. And he barely scraped her ankle. Yeah. Yeah, that is the legendary aim of the Muggle dad squad.

Right. No missing daughters. legendary aim of the Muggle dad squad. No missing daughters. That is, until they go around the back of the house and discover rows and rows of unmarked graves. Whoa. So they don't waste any time. They grab Mary, drag her back to town, tie her to a stake,

and as was customary at the time, burnt her for being a little witch. But as she was burning, the legend says she uttered a terrible curse upon the villagers. That she would be back for them. That's why you don't give people the last words. I know. They always do that, you know, back in the olden times. Do you have any last words? What are they going to say?

They're a murderer. Like like don't let them talk they literally cast curses via words don't give them any more words yeah that's a really good point actually that's like right when you're burning them you're like hand them their wand any last spells that is a terrible idea prisoner on death row you know night before you know he he has to go down and you know walk the what is it the the green mile he has to walk the green mile they come in with you know his last meal on a plate and leave it inside the cell and they go well any last crimes he's like, what? You heard me. Any last crimes? I f***ing dare you to crime. Prisoner just confusedly just grabs the prison attendant's baton. But he's not stopping him.

He doesn't seem to do anything. He's like, um, squinting. Just beats the guy over the head. Breaks out of prison. That's why you don't give people that option. Exactly. Bad, bad idea. Now, I don't know if you really know

what we're talking about so far. This is the popular story known as the story of Bloody Mary. What? Yeah. I've never heard this story before. Is this a famous story? So this is one of the most popular stories.

Do you know Bloody Mary? No. Oh, wow. We're going to have stories about, do you know Bloody Mary? No. Oh, wow. We're going to have fun today. The legend of Bloody Mary states that today in this current world, if you stand in front of a mirror with a candle and chant her name three times, you will summon her spirit in some form. Okay.

It was the whole thing like you'd be, kids would do it at sleepovers be like let's do bloody mary like you're supposed to go into the bathroom and like try and see if anything happens if you say her name three times really yeah it's like a spooky kind of like almost like you know you tell a ghost story around the campfire you'd have a sleepover and try and summon a demon at least i would and you can see how i got here there's actually there's quite a few uh origin stories some people say it was a different witch some people say bloody mary is actually queen mary of england who was nicknamed bloody mary oh uh so there's a couple different backstories but this one with mary worth is one of the most popular ones wild okay and i will say that this version of

the story i told is the most dramatic retelling of the events okay i mean this very much read like a 13 year old creative writing project thank you man yeah because the actual most popular retelling of how that event took place was an angry mob went to the the cottage of an elderly woman and dragged her from her bed accused her of being a witch she was confused and they burned her sometimes the ritual is more than just saying her name sometimes you have to chant i believe in bloody mary or even i killed your baby bloody mary wow just really going for the throat then. Really just trying to egg her on, like get any kind of response from her.

Just to clarify, what happens if we say this? Just as there's a number of different ways you can summon her, there's a number of different things and testimonies that people have said about what happens when you summon her. Some people say you just get a glimpse of her face in the mirror. Okay. Or see her standing behind you in the mirror. Okay. Or see her standing behind you in the mirror.

Fine. Others say she will jump out of the mirror, steal your soul, ripping you to shreds in the process, then forever trapping you in the mirror.

Okay. Leaving your body to burn for eternity just like she was burned. Interesting. That definitely sounds like no one could have told us that. Also, sometimes blood will pour from the bathroom taps. Oh. Just more crazy stuff. So why is it always a bathroom? That's just where everyone has a mirror? Yeah, I guess so. It's the

most convenient place. Okay. Now, I know all of this sounds unbelievable. You're right. But just a quick search online throws back hundreds of testimonies from people who encountered Bloody Mary by following the ritual. And we're going to talk about one of those testimonies right now. Okay? There was a 13-year-old boy called Matty. And him and his friend decided to try and conjure the dark spirit. Big mistake, kid.

It was sometime between 10 and 11 at night when Mike... F***, was he always called mike it was it was it was it was one of them is called mike and one of them is called maddie maddie thought it'd be a good idea to summon a demon anyway his brother mike summoned an angel for them to fight uh mike went into the bathroom alone i don't know why but They thought if they did it together It wouldn't work they would be safe So they went into the bathroom They're idiots

They went into the bathroom They went into the bathroom Not like you the person who Took their story and printed it And read it on a podcast The testimony of children you've never met so they went into the bathroom and they lit six candles and wrote in red on the mirror the number 666 once they had the candles lit mike closed the bathroom door sealing himself inside maddie stood outside the door listening to mike's muffled voice as his

friend repeated bloody mary six times that's a bit of a dick like you know three times is enough yeah it's like boom double it come at me witch listen the devil and this witch they have jobs to do and it's it would be like if you went out there on the street right now and you just find the nearest policeman and slapped him over the back of the head he would turn around and he would go hey stop it go home you're probably drunk go home let's say you did another five times that police officer is gonna don you and same goes if you say bloody mary once she's gonna give it a pass it She's going to say, go home. Exactly.

You drunk asshole. You do another five times, she's going to rip you to bits. You know, you and I work in the paranormal sphere. We have to deal with demons and, you know, malicious spirits all the time. Sure. You know the phrase dance with the devil? We do that. But, you know, we don't do break dance with the devil we do that but you know we don't do

break dance with the devil because that's rubbing it in his face that's too violent and he'll get excited and kill us maddie maddie waited outside for 10 minutes and nothing happened he became thirsty after waiting for so long so he decided to grab a ice cold cola from the kitchen downstairs. It's thirsty work. On his way down the stairs, he glanced back at the bathroom door and saw the candlelight was still flickering underneath. So everything's cool. When he returned. Smoke billowing from under the door. When he returned, Matty was surprised to see the candle was out.

There was no light coming from the bathroom anymore. He tried to enter the bathroom, but the candle was out. There was no light coming from the bathroom anymore. He tried to enter the bathroom, but the door was locked. He knocked for Mike to open up. Mike! Mike! Mike! Put it out! You're freaking me out man! But he didn't respond. Matty panics he had to run downstairs and grab Mike's dad, inventor of the katana, who chopped down the door. Dad squad! Dad squad! Muggle dad squad! Zing, zing, zing, zing, zing!

And I don't remember what the rap was like, so just input the rap we did right here. Go. What is magic? They don't know. Motherf***er definitely knows it. For over 15 minutes, the two of them shoved against the door. Until at last.

Wow, weak dad. Shut up. It was a really tough door. Until at last, they heard a crack. And they broke through. Inside the bathroom, they discovered Mike's dead body. What? How's that for escalating quickly witch you goddamn wish

cause of death you've just thrown you've just strewn all your research onto the floor as if we're done here i think we're done here no cause of death no autopsy cause of death he said bloody mary six times she ripped his goddamn soul out of his head little bastard deserved to die yeah this story of this demon witch getting passed on through the ages and then as it filters through to the modern age the age of of the secular the age of ration rationality and no one believes in anything anymore and these little kids just think they can take it for granted they can mess with a demon but what they find out is they get a little uh more than they bargained for exactly icarus they got icarist yeah it's interesting to know you know if you search bloody mary testimonies okay on the internet i'm talking hundreds of people all with

the same stories that was the most extreme one it was a bit ridiculous as well some people say they saw a weird shadow behind them uh some people say all the taps in the bathroom came on at once little things like that you know okay they saw they saw like a flash of like a bloody face in the the mirror it's definitely a huge spectrum of paranormal phenomena it is absolutely but you know you get that with everything some people say uh they saw bigfoot some people say they punched bigfoot in the face you know there's a wide spectrum of a lot of different paranormal cases so you got to take they saw Bigfoot. Some people say they punched Bigfoot in the face. You know? There's a wide spectrum of a lot of different

paranormal cases. So you've got to take every story with a bit of grain of with a grain of newt. Well luckily we don't have to take that grain of newt

after all. Because much like the episode we did recently with the Japanese Kleenex advert Right. We have an opportunity to to do some field work as paranormal investigators.

A lot of the time we just sit up here in our ivory towers that we rode up on our high horses. I like my horse. We're podcasting down to the little sheeple. We should be down there getting dirty in the trenches. I don't know. I feel like I've earned this position. We should be going gorilla style, rubbing mud on our faces like humans getting on the front line not sure so what i propose is you and i kit right now to conclude and to make our minds up as to whether

or not the curse of bloody mary is real your mind's not up shut up do as i say okay fine is that a wand no it's not oh you started getting really close to me shit that's the close one what's the do what i say one oh why are they all who's it is what do you think are you up for this it's an easy way to come to a yes or no we put the curse to the test I say you know just for me to I feel like my mind is kind of made up on this one but if it will

prove to the paranormal nation one way or another I think it's worth doing let's do it to the bathroom so me and Kit are both against a very very large mirror we have in our apartment we have lit a candle right on the podcast table yeah and we are going to test out right now whether or not the curse of bloody mary is real or fake that's right listen don't say we don't do shit for you guys at home you guys don't have to

risk your lives we're doing it for you we may get dragged to hell broken up to bits chomped up by mary herself so um uh yeah just uh be thankful i guess if we're doing the most basic one all we really have to do is just say her name three times. Six if we want to be like these little asshole kids. I feel like we could even up them. We could go seven. Should we outdo them? Go for the Guinness World Record of Bloody Mary taunts?

Let's do it. I say seven. Okay. I say seven. Okay. You ready? We got to look in the mirror. Okay, here we go.

You ready? Yeah. Three, two, go. You ready? Yeah. 3, 2, 1. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. I don't, I haven't noticed anything yet. The candle was flickering and then it stopped flickering for a little bit. But aside from that, I'm not feeling any like... Nothing too much so far.

I don't feel a spirit in the room. Unfortunately, you know, it is one of these things where who knows maybe i'll die in my sleep tonight right i mean with any luck we'll come up with some sort of evidence like that but as far as this podcast goes all we can do is come to the conclusion at the end of this show we did the experiment it seems like we've come up empty-handed this time yeah i don't feel an evil presence looking over me so i think in the investigation that we've done today of bloody mary and her curse it's unfortunately going to be a no from me well rory oh my god in the investigation of bloody mary you must know something's wrong

i will also have to come down you know you don't talk like this right no i guess there's nothing to it oh weird what what time is it oh wow that's really worrying your nose is bleeding by the way wow and your ears and eyes and face just blood everywhere and we'll clean it up after the show anyway i just want to do a little test quick right mary yes okay that's worrying. You know it just happened, right? What? Mary?

Uh-huh. Wow, super worrying. I have to deal with this so I'm going to end the show right now. Thank you so much everyone for listening to this episode of This Paranormal Life. Was that?

Oh Christ, he's doing the calls. He's doing the weird calls. Thank you so much for listening. That sounds good. Thank you so much for listening. If sounds good. Thank you so much for listening. If you like the show, you can check us out on social networks. We are on Twitter, Facebook, where we have our secret society. If you want to support, if you want to support, are you cursing me?

Why are my eyes so tired? Oh, shit. My mouth is getting swollen. If you want to support you you witchy bastard if you want to support the patreon uh you can do so when you get a bunch of cool extra stuff additional things episodes it's really great thank you for tuning in uh my name is rory this guy is witch greer and we'll see you next tuesday for the next episode of Dad Squad. Dad Squad. Dad Squad.

Dad Squad. Cruising the states looking for witches. Cock-a-nug-locks. Cruising the states looking for witches. They've all got Harleys. Dad Squad. Thank you so much. We'll be back Harley's. Dad's gone. Thank you so much. We'll be back next week. Bye-bye.