This Paranormal Life - #087 The Mud Monster of Murphysboro Illinois

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

1973 Murphysboro Illinois. Up to now, this town wasn’t famous for much except maybe it’s almost 100% mud river. But on this year it would be known for an entirely different reason. All over town there were sightings of something terrifying and otherworldly. Something born of the mud. Moulded by it. But before the demon could be captured, it disappeared even faster than it arrived. Rory and Kit try to crack the mystery once and for all!Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is the moon a ghost of a planet? If so, why didn't Neil Armstrong float right through it? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Ayo! Welcome back to the podcast. That's right, you're listening to This Paranormal Life, the podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal tale, place, or came and... What? Pretty early to misspeak there kit you know what i'm gonna host this week because you clearly can't handle it you f**ked it up now it's my turn to let's let's have a professional does it all right well so every week welcome to the podcast

we investigated brand new paranormal clays claim so we're it's not just me but both of us are getting okay i can do it every week we in i can't even say the first one every week we investigate a brand new paranormal place claim because at least i'm like honest that i don't know what happened here right you're you think it's not really i'm wearing a scarf i'll tell you that right now it's november um bigfoot he's one of them uh yeah people know that that was episode one i think you gotta take over man welcome back to this paranormal life the podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal tale Yeah, people know that. That was episode one, I think. You've got to take over, man. Welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal tale,

case, or claim, and get to the bottom of whether it is true or whether it is false. As always, I'm your host, professional paranormal investigator, Mr. Kit Greer, joined by my co-host and also professional paranormal investigator, Mr. Rory Powers. Happy to be here. Great.

As always. Awesome. I think we dilly-dallied a little at the top there. We don't dilly-dally at all. Do you think I would spend one minute of this podcast talking about that car accident my cousin was in? Really? Recently? Yeah.

That happened like two seconds before we started. I aeroplane-mode that bad boy. They're probably trying to get me right now. Oh my god. Yeah, because you're his emergency contact so yeah the only i i i was adamant that i was the only one and then the moment that they're injured you turned off your phone you shouldn't have called during podcast hour i said look you get one contact you pick me or you're dead to me and he might be now i don't know might be He might be. That's right. Oh, we brothers. Oh, we brothers.

Make me your emergency contact, you bitch. Hard cut to the emergency services calling you. Nah, never heard of him. He's a rat and he's a coward and he was dumb enough to pick me as his emergency contact. I'm sure he's fine. We should just do the podcast. I guess the faster we get through the podcast, the faster you can call the ambulance and see where he is yeah sure why not you don't sound like you're gonna follow through i'm not gonna do that okay it's 1973 june 25th to be exact and a car pulls up on the

riverside in murfreesboro illinois inside the lovers randy randy need Needham and Judy Prudy Johnson. Are these names you've given them? Just the nicknames, yeah. Okay. That's right. There's some college kids getting frisky down by the riverside, which by the way, is illegal. And these kids are criminals for doing it. So right off the bat, I don't even care what happens to these two little demons. I don't know it's illegal. You can't just make out in public. I think you can. Well, maybe you can, but it's wrong at least. What base is illegal in public? Second, right?

Wait, what's first base? I don't know what the bases are. What's a touchdown? I think that's like body slamming someone through a table. What's it called in baseball when you like just like tap the ball a bunt a bunt what's bunting a bunt is when your credit card bounces right before you leave the restaurant and you sneak out the bathroom window to an uber xl while she pays that's bunting to an uber Uber XL. Why so much space?

For the shame. You want to feel like a king for one goddamn second. And then on the ride home, you request to share the ride with her. To split the bill. But it doesn't work because your card bounces again. So I might have exaggerated i don't maybe it's not illegal to to like just kiss in pub but it's like bad and wrong right but yeah

people do this so when when two people love each other very much you know they marry they have kids but when two teens barely know each other and haven't moved out of their parents house yet they make out in cars bunnies in places that normally only serial killers would ever hang out in so they're in the car and the clock hits midnight they've got the radio on the smooth signs of 1973 are playing they're looking over big muddy river when out of nowhere in the black of, they hear a shriek. Oh, God. It was piercing.

They said it sounded like, quote, an eagle shrieking into a microphone. Randy turns off the radio to focus, trying to see where this could have come from. But silence, just crickets. Until this time the bushes near the car were moving. Randy Randy and Prudy Judy looked on in horror. It was huge. Unbelievable. Horrifying. Randy immediately stood on the accelerator, reversing out of there. He swung around, hearing a shriek behind him, and he shot out of the riverside. They headed straight for the Murfreesboro police station,

where apparently you're able to fill out an unknown creature report which i never heard of up to now that's actually quite comforting because it seems like you're going to a place that has had to deal with a strange creature so many times that they have a they're like it's quicker to just build a form they're like ah yeah the p1 yeah that sounds like a pretty common form oh it is you got people coming in every weekend being like i saw the chupacabra i saw bigfoot i saw sasquatch it's like we need a new line we need a new line for this i'll be sheriff of the town you be sheriff of the mystique all right this was probably extremely important in you know like 2000

bc yeah when no one knew any animals, kind of everything was an unknown creature form. They said it was bigger than a gorilla. Eight foot tall, covered in white hair, except completely matted and caked in mud. It came at them on two legs. Rory, what are you thinking right off the bat? Well, this is actually pretty crazy, because I know that we haven't talked about it on the podcast before.

And I know we're really pressed for time. But I should bring up just because you said it was a gorilla type creature. Oh. The time that I was down in Dublin. Oh. As a child. And remember I said it was like. This sounds like quite important.

Like why wouldn't we have this have come up previously? I've actually, believe it or not, I've tried to bring it up on a couple uh a couple different occasions that really doesn't sound right i think if if it was that good i feel like i would have been all ears well i mean it was me it was my brother there was a whole bunch of us saw saw it at the park genuinely first paranormal experience it was this small creature wait oh this oh yeah the park story now let's move on i don't think it sounded like it was it's just sounded like you were into it for a second yeah no it just seems weird to have a paranormal podcast and not mention the one paranormal thing that just clicked to me that it

was the like a park in dublin like do you know how many people live there it's not just not very realistic not many cryptids there's not many cryptids in dublin because i wasn't even the only one that saw it that was the amazing shut the up fine i'm really i'm trying to be you know nice about it just want a good night's sleep you know and i feel like if i told someone it would get it off my chest but sorry what is this about some sort of eagle no you can get used to those big bags under your eyes because don't bring up the bags, right? Because that's too close to home, Malvena. So the Murfreesboro police chief, Ron Manwaring,

felt that although this sounded fantastical, he felt the kids were truly scared. What's more, what they were doing was illegal and morally bad. You know, canoodling in the car. Ron felt that if they were willing to put their reputation on the line like that, if Randy was willing to risk an ass kicking by Judy's dad and say, hey, we're canoodling in the car and this is what we saw, then it must be true.

I'll be clear, that's actually the police chief's shitty logic. That's not my... That's terrible logic. Because I doubt Randy is going to go to Judy's dad and be like, so I was banging your daughter and out the corner of my eye he's probably gonna gloss over the dad is an eight foot tall white beast i was making love to the daughter that you gave birth to to sum it up the police chief said there was no advantage for them to report this. Which I can't disagree with.

That's true. Yeah. He believed it enough to send two police patrols down that very night. Merrill Lindsay and Jimmy Nash. The officers got to the scene of the crime. Well, the real crime obviously was the kids getting frisky in the car, but the scene of the sighting. For sure.

To their amazement, they quickly came across tracks in the bank of the river. 10 to 12 inches long, but 3 inches wide. Jimmy bent down to see them closer. They pressed right into the mud as if something real heavy had made them. Then, a scream came from the woods nearby. Jimmy was so scared and shocked that he ran off and dropped his revolver in the mud. Oh my god. When the two cops got back to base, they must have looked pale.

Jimmy said, quote, It was the most incredible shriek I've ever heard. It was in those bushes. It was no bobcat, no screech owl. There is no such thing as a screech owl. Should we find out? We've got to put that to rest, right? Screech owl. Okay, apparently it is a thing. Should we hear what it sounds like?

Yeah, I cannot not hear what it sounds like. That's a screech owl? That's a bit more realistic. That's closer. It wasn't a kitten. We hightailed it out of there. And what I love about this story is they didn't waste any time following up every time there was an encounter. The same damn night, they get two more officers out there.

Four total. There is backup. Jimmy shows the gang the footprints. They're all bending down to look at them. One of the crew says, let me go grab a camera from the squad car, get some photos of this for evidence. As the other three examine these footsteps closer and closer, the officers run as fast as they can. They run to safety into their car. These are very scared police officers. Yeah, I'm kind of getting that vibe.

Not a lot is happening so far for them to be... They're getting startled by screech owls. A guy dropped his gun into the mud. They looked out into the night from the car. What's making that noise? Eventually, they summed up the courage to head out again, but that was it. There was no

more sights, no more signs. Until a couple of days later it's the evening time at big muddy river which by the way is the actual name of this river okay just forget to research the name and oh of course not no no this river is almost a hundred percent mud in a nearby backyard little five-year-old christian barrels playing that's not a name little 12 year old christian double barrels in the in the backyard and his buddy papa six caliber double barrel imagine introducing yourself and it's like the name is barrel 12 gauge double barrel is that a double barrel last name oh no what was the other manly name that we made up on

this podcast lex shotgun blast lex shotgun blast they would be brothers lex shotgun blast and 12 gauge double barrel brothers in arms yeah you know they don't talk though like they have been estranged maybe their entire life and then oh then maybe towards the end of this movie, they are pitted against each other as hitmen or something like that. And they have to kill each other. It gets that moment where they're both so good, they almost assassinate each other at the exact same time. It's like they both pull their weapons and shoot.

But they're so identical brothers that their bullets actually meet in midair and they both get thrown back against the wall dragon ball z sky like a full-on movie wow like if it's uh let's think of a really cool name for it okay to start um uh twinsies uh it's a little amateurish um if we could do like a more manly spin on it maybe not the ease let's get rid of the ease uh what's the most manly thing in the world uh a penis let's call it very on the nose but fine let's call it there's no way anywhere anyone or anywhere will screen that sounds manly though doesn't it think about it in cinemas right now

i mean there's no point even talking about it because i can't put it in this podcast okay fair enough it is manly though manly as shit you could go to jail for that that's right little five-year-old christian barrels's playing in the backyard, catching bugs in a jar. When he looks around to see something just moving out of the corner of his eye, that jar hits the ground instantly. Bugs everywhere. Bugs in his eyes. He runs inside. Dad! Dad! There's a ghost outside! Of course, Christian's dumbass dad didn't believe a word. He's five, for Christ's sake. But he would soon eat his words when it turned out his neighbors saw something that night, too.

Neighbors, Cheryl and Randy, that's right, a different Randy, Oh, my God. were chilling on their porch when they heard a rustling in the bushes. Randy walked on towards the bushes very slowly until he stopped. And without breaking eye contact with the bushes he said to Cheryl, Come here. They saw a white monster staring back at them. Quote, The thing I remember was the bulk of it, the shape, the human form, and the stench of the river slime it apparently

had on it. It was about eight feet tall, and at least as stocky as any football player. We were within fifteen feet of it, close enough to see the body, the texture of the fur long and hairy like an English sheepdog. And Cheryl said, It was real tall, hairy. I think it was white. But it dirty maddened it had a real bad odor it was really rank I never smelled anything like it it seemed like an eternity we stood there and then it turned around and walked off into the woods we could hear it trampling through the woods the beast didn't hang about for long before it scurried off. But not before the gang could call the police to notify them. Before long, a cop and a canine were on the scene sniffing around.

Jerry Nellis and his German Shepherd, Reb. They found some black slime that Reb, the absolute veteran dog that he was, picked up instantly. He started off through the woods. The officer struggling to keep up. But when when they reached a barn the dog got super scared super fast it refused to go any further the police were too scared to go inside too because they thought we got this thing cornered it's eight foot tall it's it's bigger than a football player it's a beast it's bigger than a gorilla if reb the legendary police dog doesn't want anything to do with it, better back the F off. Reb is probably like shotgun blast dog. Yeah, I heard he once rescued 14 children

from a burning school. Yeah. Like, by the neck, just grabbed him and chucked him out a window. Yeah, like, chucked him out the window, then he quickly ran down, like, eight flights of stairs, then caught them at the other side. He was playing fetch with himself.

It was insane. It was weird when he threw them back into the building. stairs, then caught them at the other side. He was playing fetch with himself. It was insane. It's been weird when he threw them back into the building. Yeah, he got a little carried away. We had to nip that in the bud. He was just having fun at that point. Yeah. Makes a cooler story, though, to ignore that bit. Yeah.

But by the time the police backup came with machine guns or whatever it was they wanted to get, the trail was cold. They thought that maybe the beast had snuck out the back or something like that. Now, after these sightings, there were a couple more eyewitness reports. One at a local carnival, for example, to the point where the locals were demanding that an expert be brought in

to hunt this bastard down. But I'm not going to get your hopes up. The guy came in with a stun gun, a shotgun, bananas and chocolate to, quote, pacify the beast with okay but he didn't get anything obviously right this beast you don't get that big by eating bananas or chocolate yeah i'll tell you that right now you eat that from protein shakes that's right sounds like half of it was to pacify the beast and the other half was snacks also he brought a stun gun and a shotgun so kind

of mixed intentions there yeah like he would just put the barrel against the back of its head blast it off and then just tase the body it's like i think you did that in the wrong order i don't know if he's a zombie where we have to destroy the head and when the sightings eventually died down altogether the local police chief berger said quote a lot of things in life are unexplained and this is another one we don't know what the creature is but we do believe what those people saw was real okay i mean it was all documented in police reports but we do have newspaper clippings this is quite popular in the illinois area around the big muddy river area now we haven't used the b word yet but this headline reads close encounter with bigfoot for obvious reasons this drew parallels with the

bigfoot case ah okay i was gonna ask if this cryptid has a name but i believe is that what i want to understand this is a another Bigfoot claim? I don't know. I think that's something we've got to talk about. In the body of this text, they call him the Big Muddy Monster. Okay. And I think, you know, people know it as a Muddy River Monster, Big Muddy River Monster. Right, rather than Bigfoot. There's like an artist's interpretation.

Okay. Of the infamous Big Muddy Monster. And the headline reads, The legend of the Big Muddy Monster is alive and well in Murfreesboro. I mean, it's all surprisingly well documented for a case that old what are your immediate thoughts about this case uh it's very interesting i'm always a little skeptical when we have a paranormal creature that has been seen uh all across the town by people who sound like they got their names from a internet name generator there's like four randies and that is three too many randies to have in a paranormal investigation randies sir i feel like if i was yeah even two hours into the case and like i'm really digging it it's like so

they brought this to police chief randy and i'm like that's the third randy i gotta scrap the whole thing that's way too many i mentioned there's only three people in this town the f***ing monster randy and randy and the monster got there first randy's a blow-in but you know what uh what i do look out for in these paranormal cases is when we have police officers, men and women of the law. People trained highly. You know, trusted enough to carry a gun, which is, you know, the ultimate mark of respect. That's right. So it is interesting when you get those guys claiming that they absolutely saw and heard something.

Now, the problem with this is it's one thing like the mayor said that he absolutely believes that they saw something that's kind of a sneaky way of being like i totally agree with you guys and also being like you saw a bird you know it's yeah it was very non-specific i believe that you believe what you saw exactly i believe that you're crazy and you believe what you saw that's a that's a good mayor right there it's kind of like oh mayor are you gonna lower the taxes i will i you know what in the next year i will definitely be thinking about that a lot moving forward well he sure seems like a swell guy you got my vote but he's saying nothing really right i hear what you're saying.

And that is an interesting distinction to make because whilst the police were involved, whilst the police fled the scene of the crime, at least twice, they didn't see the beast. They heard the beast, they saw the beast tracks, and they took police reports about the beast.

They did not see them. Yeah, the most detailed description we have are from the neighbors who seem to be local hicks wow yep i'm throwing that out there wow that's pretty judgmental you know there wasn't a lot of description of their character to you sir wow this man is floating in an inflatable tub in his garden with Bud Light cans surrounding him. That is Foster's, I'll have you know. The drink of champions. That's literally Budweiser.

Well, I think that's a pretty judgmental leap to make. And his beer hat is filled with wine. So watch your mouth. He's actually a connoisseur. It's filled with peanut noir. The crunchiest wine on the market the saltiest honey roasted peanut noir yeah it's definitely suspect that the police didn't see the beast however we do have a couple of different eyewitness testimonies made within a very

short period of time of each other we're talking a day two days something like that okay between the initial sighting with randy randy and the second sighting with randy but they both describe something extremely similar which is quite trustworthy if they're both describing an eight foot tall white beast covered in mud independent parties yeah that is important and we're not talking about something that's like spread out over three months. This happened very, very quickly. It's not being hyped up too much. Which is what would happen if a paranormal cryptid wandered into the middle of a small town. You would have several days of terror and then he'd probably leave. That's right.

And you'd never hear of him again. So this story does have some of the hallmarks of a realistic paranormal cryptid encounter. It's true. It still leaves the problem. If this is true, if they did see what they saw, if this truly is an undiscovered beast, what is it and does it have any relation to Bigfoot? That's a good question. I mean, are there even relations to Bigfoot?

I guess there must be, right? He didn't pop out of a space egg. Who said he didn't, brother? I think Bigfoot hunters would tell you that there is so many Bigfoot sightings all over the United States, not to mention worldwide, that whilst maybe the Pacific Northwest Bigfoot is kind of the most famous, there are other Bigfoot. And I saw people talking in forums and stuff saying, oh, this is classic Midwest Bigfoot behavior.

Because whilst the Bigfoots in other parts of the country are more aggressive right these sightings that are made in the midwest or east coast the bigfoots tend to run away when when scared um so that's quite interesting that people go into that level of detail with characterizing i did not know the beasts that localized bigfoots had different personalities that's very interesting where does ghost bigfoot live alternate dimension or something wow i have to say a thank you to the person who actually submitted this story mr daniel mudson hudson mudson hudson we shouted out last week or the week before that's right he said he was so inspired by his shout-out in the podcast where we said he was a mud boy of sorts that he discovered...

Raised by the mud. That he discovered... Baked in the sun. This big muddy river beast. He said, quote, My assumption is that Bigfoot must have a cousin that much like myself was abandoned and therefore was raised by the mud,

turning him into a mud monster ah very interesting hypothesis false but interesting right could be people always wonder where bigfoot's hiding it's a muddy mud you think it's the mud it really could be this river is almost 100 mud can he breathe in the mud no but he keeps his the mud keeps him cool because it's the Midwest and it's hot. And then he keeps his head above the mud. Right, so if you're walking in the forest, keep an eye out for the decapitated head of Bigfoot poking out of a mud puddle. That's right.

You heard it right here, folks, on This Paranormal Life. You might be getting the sense that we don't have any more evidence, and you would kind of be correct if we're to start making conclusions about whether this particular case gives us enough proof, gives us enough to believe in the existence of a big, muddy river monster. A big, muddy, randy beast.

Big, randy, muddy boy. Big, muddy, randy beast. Big, randy, muddy boy. Big, muddy, randy savage. Do we have enough to believe in the mud monster? You know, when it comes to Tails investigating cryptids, you always come across the same baseline of evidence. Okay. You got your sightings, because without your sightings, there is no case. Right.

You got your footprints. These are all the common ones footprints maybe some uh trails broken branches uh splashes and puddles and waters and things like that then you're kind of baseline uh sightings then we reach level two level two is a little bit more harder because what we need here is actual sightings of the creature from trustworthy witnesses. Level three is screw photographs of the beast. Level three is his head. Okay. Is his decapitated head in a burlap sack on my lap. Why your lap?

This escalated so quickly also. And that's when you earn your when you that's when you earn your yes that's when you earn your yes when i got my hand up his spinal cord and i'm using him like a goddamn sock puppet so we've had so many yeses where you didn't require that not cryptids not cryptid episodes i think we said the loch ness monster was real did we I can't remember we've said some crazy things are we said vampires are real Atlantis was real yeah I mean actually now even saying it of course they were don't doubt us on those yeah because we do not one thing we don't do at the paranormal commune is backtrack no so make a decision no we will stick with any decision no matter how

bad or misinformed we will roll with it forever stand our ground in the mud as we sink down breathless so you know what i don't even need level three yet what i do need is level two i need some photographs any kind of evidence uh that proves that this beast does in fact exist you know we have to set a bar for evidence extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence to support them what we've maybe seen with this case is just not enough of that primary source evidence we've got a couple decent corroborating sources yeah attesting to the size and scale of that thing. But, yes, this story maybe wasn't famous already around Illinois, but maybe the legend of the Bigfoot had already played into the psyche of the local people,

and they were already expecting this. Right. You know, we know there's shrieking owls out there. You know, there's things making sounds. How do we know that that being the primary indicator of the mud beast isn't just some other animal? Exactly. In court, you are innocent until proven guilty and on this paranormal life you are non-existent until you are proven to exist that too yeah muddy right because if he doesn't exist there's no mud well there's a lot

of mud i'll tell you right in mudsville mud river yeah in the middle of mud town usa yeah probably which is why on this episode of this paranormal life with the case of the mud monster of the fact that you don't know the name of the beast at the conclusion of the episode is an indicator that he does not rare he is oh yeah everyone knows bigfoot but not the obscure mud boy of randy town the mud monster of murphy's borough sorry okay can i just assume it's a double no? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Unfortunately for me. I love the story, though. Good story.

Thank you to Daniel Mudson Hudson for sending that one in. Truly a doozy and unbelievably true to name that he found a beast raised by the mud just like him. If you have your own sightings or experiences with the Randy Muddy Monster, do send them into this Muddy Randy Life podcast. I'm sorry. This Paranormal Life podcast at gmail.com. At randy muddy monster do you send them into this muddy randy life podcast i'm sorry this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com randy.com randy.mud yeah that's right we hope you enjoyed this week's episode and if you did and you enjoyed last week's episode too and the week before that come to think of it all right calm down all right okay we gotta keep going back we literally said we don't backtrack that was one of the main points we made earlier

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Colin Fleming, who follows us like a lemming. That's right, he is one of our most devout followers of all time. You know when people say, Oh, if your friend michael jumped off a bridge like would you do it colin fleming will follow this commune till to the gates of hell which is its inevitable destination you know there's like the heaven wait heaven's gate angels gate what was that horrible cult we're not a cult so let's be careful about the comparison right yeah but we'll be the hell's gate

commune peaceful and serene and i want to make more jokes but i don't want to get dark yeah i probably shouldn't do that so thank you so much calling thank you also to barely offensive podcast barely offensive that's that's admirable i don't know how they because we cut a lot of Thank you also to Barely Offensive Podcast. Barely Offensive. That's admirable. I don't know how they... Because we cut a lot of our stuff in the edit. I mean, even then, we're a fairly offensive podcast. Nice, dude.

So, fair play to these guys for keeping it barely offensive. Yeah, because whenever you're talking about the truth, things get pretty offensive pretty fast. So, thanks, guys guys thank you also to john richardson john the rich herder of sons that's right he is a wealthy wealthy shepherd that steals children in the night that took a weird turn didn't it richard i don't approve of what you you do but somehow you make money and that ends up in our back coin that ends up in our pockets so you you be that shepherd you do that thing and we will accept your charitable donations

so uh you're a you're a cruel and unusual bastard john but um you get the job done and we are always grateful for your support so so thanks for tuning in. Thank you also to Morgan McFetrich. Morgan McFetrich. That's pretty cool, Morgan, because I'm more like Kit McSkinny and Purr. Sounds like you've got a lot going on over in your court. So we appreciate someone with all your worldly successes, taking a little time out of your day to support us folks over here.

Couldn't do it without you, Morgan. Thank you. Thank you also to Ray. A beam of sunlight in my life. Wow. Or is their second name Gun? Oh. Oh.

Oh, no. Pew, pew, pew. Oh, Ray, why? He had some kind of invisibility cloak on just now and popped out. Oh, it turns out it actually was just sunshine. Oh, we just haven't seen it in a while. We've been indoors for a really long time. Wow.

Yeah. Thanks, Ray. Thank you also to Ben Harowitz. Ben, you better Harowitz about you. Because you're going to need it. Thank you so much, Ben, for your contribution. We appreciate it immensely. At least you're not need it uh thank you so much ben for your contribution we appreciate immensely at least you're not ben harrow dumb which i assume is your brother oh shit i'm trying to get on his good side razzing him razzing him thank you lastly but not leastly to rachel wood

it's actually interesting how rachel got her name it's a bit like you know like Game of Thrones like Jon Snow you know he's like a bastard so he gets called Jon Snow Rachel's just made of wood so it's like she didn't have a last name she's just a wooden doll Pinocchio style made into a real person but needed

a last name to get on the world open a bank account all that kind of stuff so took on just wood just very literal. Yeah, she was like, f*** it, when life gives you lemons, I'm Rachel Wood. Slaps you across the face with a plank with a 2x4. Knocks you out. It was supposed to be a friendly tap.

Puddle of blood slowly spreading across the floor. Now Rachel Wood is a wanted woman. Wanted woodman. Oh, Christ. It sounds like you've got a tough deal going on over there, Rachel. But, you know, we respect your love of life that you just keep on trucking. Yeah. So thanks for flicking a couple pieces of bark in the pocket of the paranormal peasants.

What an episode. That was fun. I had a blast. Thanks for joining us, everyone. I hope you had a good time, too. Jeez. So thanks to everyone we shouted out thus far to everyone that you haven't heard your shout out yet that's probably because it's on its way uh we still have a bunch of people to get to so thanks so much for being patient if you think you should have been shouted out a long time ago

it can happen that some slipped through the net so do just remind us and we'll get right on it but otherwise we will see you next week for a brand new paranormal tale and remember rachel wood to live fast investigate and plank it