This Paranormal Life - #090 The Lead Mask Deaths

Episode Date: December 4, 2018

When an 18 year old man out flying his kite stumbled across 2 dead bodies, he didn’t realise he had just discovered one of the strangest and most bizarre paranormal crime scenes of all time.Support ...us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Does a hologram weigh a gram? What happens if you light ice on fire? All these questions you can find the answer to right here on This Paranormal Life! Hey! Welcome back to the podcast, everyone. The Comedy Paranormal Podcast, where every week we investigate a brand new paranormal case and come to a conclusion as to whether or not it is true or false that is true as with all the great episodes of this podcast i'm your host for this week rory powers joined by my very shallow i'm joined by kit greer not gonna no preamble no professional paranormal investigator
Starting point is 00:00:39 no esteems no you know they know regular host they know that you know whatever i just want to say that i am the professional i have you know dozens of accolades uh and i'm joined by kit well i'm joined by k yeah let's know my name i am the bigger person and i will say that we're both professionals i was i get a medal for that i got my accreditation a little bit before you but whatever well no medal for time, medal for quality. And I've got those bad boys up on my shelf. So again, I don't want to be petty. Quote.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Because I bet you've got the gold for that one. So I'll just move on with the old podcast here. Today, we're tackling a story that I have actually wanted to tackle since we started this podcast. Right. wanted to tackle since we started this podcast. Right. It's a story that is maybe one of the most bizarre paranormal stories I've ever encountered in all of my years on the force. Really? I don't know what else I can really say about it, so I think it's best if we just dive right in here. Sploosh. Our story begins on August 20th in Rio de Janeiro. An 18-year-old man named George de la Costa Alves. I'm going to be butchering a lot of the names
Starting point is 00:01:49 and pronunciations of locations. Just a little warning there. He was enjoying a beautiful afternoon outside, flying his kite on Vintem Hill. Interesting. You know, what is this? 1966. What does an 18 year old man do?
Starting point is 00:02:07 What's the most rad way to spend a Saturday night? Whenever you are 17 years old You are a child You're a boy You're a fetus The moment you turn 18 I don't know why this guy sells a kite Because that's not very manly behavior
Starting point is 00:02:22 Oh, I thought you were saying like The moment you turn 18 You get your kite license your kaisens you can take that bad boy up to 60 mph well this guy's in rio de janeiro i don't know what the rules and regulations are there um he may be part of a street kite gang this kite may be lined with a razor blade and he is slashing through other kites willy-nilly yeah sometimes you could slap on a packet of methadrone to the kite use it to fly it into prisons you know kite kiting is is a deadly deadly activity unbelievably obscure drug reference but fine well he's up on vintem hill but the wind up there just isn't strong enough. Okay, it needs to go higher. We're talking on top of the savior statue
Starting point is 00:03:07 overlooking Rio de Janeiro. We ventured higher up the hill to try and find a better spot. Now, towards the top of the hill, he came across this tall patch of weeds, but they were disturbed like someone had walked through them, and that's when George noticed something
Starting point is 00:03:24 lying in the bushes. Or someone. Oh. Hello? He cried out with no response. So we walked a little closer, making his way through the tall weeds. And that's when he saw them. Two lifeless bodies lying side by side on the ground.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Oh, snap. That's not good. George screamed. He got tangled in his kite string tripped over and suddenly there were three bodies on the ground the police show up and be like get the kite get the kite they're like blowing holes in it and it's like trying to take off down the hill razor blade attached slices their guns in half whoa anime style yeah you hear a shing and then the gun just like slowly falls apart so he's called the police and he's waiting for them to arrive but while he's waiting he decides to get a little bit of a closer look what he doesn't realize is that he had just
Starting point is 00:04:15 discovered one of the strangest and most bizarre crime scenes of all time really strong words the Really? Strong words. Okay. Okay. Wow. Because I was going to say, up until the coats and suits, it wasn't the weirdest murder case of all time or case. What did you say, lead? Lead lead it was just like oh yeah um you know it was crazy they had a raincoats on they had business suits there was two of them there's two
Starting point is 00:04:53 they were freaking dead yeah that's pretty crazy did i mention one of them was iron man he had a full iron face line tony stark himself yeah it takes a big like chill chill whoa yeah please describe what uh lead mask over your eyes looks like so i have a picture of these lead oh jesus there we go is it like an eye mask wow okay that's pretty much exactly what it sounds like actually uh so if anyone's ever held lead very heavy it's quite like pliable it's quite bendy but very heavy this is lead sheet cut into the shape of an eye mask essentially it's quite crude actually it looks it's very crude it looks quite tough like this isn't like one ply of lead these look like heavy heavy slabs of lead that have sort of been hammered into the shape of they almost look like
Starting point is 00:05:46 sunglasses they do they do look like sunglasses yeah which i don't know what purpose these were meant to serve and how would that even stay on your face i have no idea again one of the many questions that we're going to encounter in this story lead the way brother unfortunately the terrain surrounding the mountain was incredibly rough, meaning the police were unable to reach the bodies until the next day. Eventually, a small team of police and firefighters arrived to the scene to see exactly what George had described. Two bodies next to each other, rested on the ground, partly covered by grass. Each one wore a formal suit, a lead eye mask, and a waterproof coat.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Just as he had said so what happened was it a murder a suicide the police searched the bodies but the two men were unharmed physically no cuts no bruises no blood nothing wow just dead straight up dead you know hey these days whenever someone dies everyone's like oh what happened everyone wants to know the reason everyone wants to know the cause what caused it was it natural causes and it's like no bitch sometimes people just straight up old-fashioned die no good reason they just drop dead listen back in the day when people were working really hard manual labor every single day their whole lives yeah your body just gives in doesn't it it just says nope and the type of person that is likely to die at any given second is of course the type of person that's hammering sunglasses out of lead exactly so the next thing the police did
Starting point is 00:07:19 was search the scene for evidence of course following protocol very good police officers yeah guys don't miss a beat apart from the whole waiting 24 hours to even look at the crime scene yeah because it was a bit rocky they're in the police station they get the call comes in it's like oh yeah up the hill yeah no cool and then like carlo comes in he's like he's like winking to him he's like got the coffee got the donuts just like it's really dark, I don't think we'll be up there tonight, to be honest with you. George is like, what are you talking about? It's a forest path. I took it up here, most of it's downhill, weirdly. I'm doing a barefoot thing at the moment, it's not really going to work. I think it's best if we do it tomorrow when I am off for the weekend. So they searched for evidence, but what they found would only make the story even more bizarre.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Of course. Beside the men, they found an empty water bottle, a packet containing two wet towels, and a small notebook. Still no smoking gun. The first page in the book had a list of electronic materials and spare parts. The second page had some sort of medication schedule written across it, stating, quote, On Sunday, one tablet after the meal. Monday, one tablet in the morning on an empty stomach.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Tuesday, one tablet after the meal. Wednesday, one tablet before going to bed. With no reference to what this tablet was. Yeah. But the third page, the third page kit, was by far the most cryptic and would baffle police and paranormal investigators to this very day. Not me, bro. I'm going to solve it right here, right now, in five seconds.
Starting point is 00:09:04 You know what i'm gonna read it in its native language to start so you should be able to crack it from that cool okay try me it read 4 30 estar no loco determinado um yeah i started no loco crazy. Someone went crazy. Destinado here. So someone went crazy after drinking a load of Desperados. I think he got bottled. Alright, well, what about this one? 6.30.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Ingerir capsulas e pos efito proteger metes e guardar. So I got, you said polos. Sin el mascara. What? That was the end of it.
Starting point is 00:09:49 So mezcala at the end. So mezcala is yet more booze. Mascara. I think you said polos, chicken. So some sort of chicken and booze party. And the shades. To look cool. Well, I'll tell you the exact translation all right sure 4 30 be at the specified location 6 30 ingest capsules after the effect protect metals await signal mask wow so even in the native language grammatically it didn't really make any sense
Starting point is 00:10:27 right it's kind of shorthand yeah ingest capsules comma after the effect protect metals await signal mask yeah almost like it was scribbled in like a yeah like await signal mask protect metals it's a classic sort of case i'm sure the police come across this kind of thing where you're maybe going through a notebook and this notebook is never intended to be read by anyone other than the author yeah you know you've drawn like little dicks in the the columns you've written about your crush yeah you're like claire claire claire you've written claire on the dicks It's getting real weird up in there. So you never wanted that to be read.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So it doesn't always make grammatical sense because it doesn't need to, as long as you remember the train of thought you had when you wrote it. Exactly. They'll get it. They'll understand that the dicks are just, there's nothing to do with Claire. No, of course not. It's just, you know, drawn penises. No, it's not disgusting.
Starting point is 00:11:23 No, I'm not weird. If anything, that's normal. Move're just, you know, drawing penises. No, it's not disgusting. No, I'm not weird. If anything, that's normal. Move past it, officer. They, like, bring you in for an investigation. You think it's going to be about everything that you wrote in that book. And you're, like, sweating buckets. And they're like, we just don't understand why you would write Claire on the penis. You're like, listen, sir, that's my private goddamn notebook.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I'm an artiste. It came from the heart i didn't think about it too much i am an educated smart man and i don't need to be demeaned like this like uh dear diary today i shat myself those are private entries in my diary that is an excerpt from a screenplay i am working on i'll have you know sir because i'm very educated i would never shite myself so the police and medical workers managed to eventually get the bodies off the mountain and over to the coroner's office for an autopsy but when they arrived police were told that the coroner was very busy so busy in fact he wouldn't be able to see them for at least a day or two okay believable uh i think i have a little annotation here that
Starting point is 00:12:31 says oh bullshit a coroner being too busy to see dead bodies for two days um there's something reeking here kit and it ain't the corpses. Yes, this one is extremely unusual, but there's also murders happening kind of every day, especially in a country as populous as Brazil. The city is populous as Rio de Janeiro. So it's not that surprising that a regional coroner might be quite busy, but I know what you mean. You would hope that they'd be able to see them within a day.
Starting point is 00:13:03 But all those other people, you know, boom, Charles comes in. He was blasted by a shotgun, obviously. There's a bullet in him. Here's Craig. The knife is still in his back. Knife wound. What about these two dudes? Well, the sunglasses didn't kill him.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Was it the towels? You know, there's nothing. They don't know anything. Okay, but why does it matter? Why can't we just leave this for a day or two are these bodies ain't going anywhere i'll tell you why kit because by the time the bodies were examined it was too late no reliable tests could be done because their organs had already started to i guess i guess they might have been there for a bit too you never never we don't know whatever it was by the time the coroner could see them there was no way to test the bodies anymore for any sort of trace of what was in the quote-unquote tablet that they were taking right
Starting point is 00:13:56 gotcha look you know when a coroner is too busy in a war yeah that's when he's too busy when people are dropping like flies and you know what kind of war he's in what kind of war on drugs oh what caused them drugs move on all of them move past all of them to the guys with the with the metal faces that's not what the war on drugs means all i'm saying all i'm saying is you know it's like heart transplants in in a line of uh let's say you've got like 100 people waiting for a new heart. Yeah. There's a system in place. It's a businessman.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And he's like, I'm first in line. I need a new heart. And they get the new heart. And they're like, okay, Mr. Business, James Business, we have your new heart. We're ready to put it in your body. And then right before operation, 99 people down the line is like, a little girl called Samantha. Her parents were killed by heart thieves.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Wow. Jesus. And if she doesn't get one, she'll die. And she has her whole life ahead of her. And she has so much to live for. But James business is like, well, I'm first in line. How many businesses have you started, little girl? Please, sir.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Yelling hurts my heart. She's like, just one Fortune 500 business. He's like, what? His heart explodes. She's one person closer to the front. Just has to lie another 99 times. The point is, you skip them and go to the person who needs it the most. These two dudes needed it the most.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I don't think you're a medical professional, sir. I don't think that's how it works. How dare you? I don't know if, like, as you're on the operating table, they can retract the offer of a heart. Like, you're under, they've sliced you up they've taken your your non-working heart out and then they've decided to just leave you there then samantha walks in with her puppy dog eyes and they're like oh let's let's just give him samantha's heart
Starting point is 00:16:00 let's just chuck him in the bin to be honest r.i.p james business well you know we can move past that one if you're not nibbling on that little bait line i'm just as always playing devil's advocate to try and bring some rationale to um this week's investigation but please forge ahead with the investigation okay okay well as the strange story began to spread around the town, it wasn't long before the two men were identified. Manuel Pereira de Cruz and Miguel Jose Viana, two electronic technicians from a town several kilometers to the northeast of Rio de Janeiro, so quite far away. Both were married, technology enthusiasts with young families, and they were by all accounts close friends. According to someone who knew them,
Starting point is 00:16:49 the two had intentions of even starting their own business together. Okay, so guys are something to look forward to, families to take care of. Exactly. Guys who had a lot to lose. And no reason to lose it. So for the police to understand how this all happened and for us to understand how this all happened, they needed to form a timeline of events leading up to their deaths.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Right, good idea. So let's begin. On August 17th, three days before their deaths, Manuel and Miguel both told their relatives they needed to go on a trip to purchase some materials for work. The two men boarded a bus to Niteroi and arrived at their destination at 2.30. Once they arrived, evidence showed that here they purchased matching waterproof coats and then went to buy a bottle of water from a nearby bar. I mean, are they expecting a Donpor in Rio de Janeiro anytime soon? There's so many things that don't make sense. Why the raincoats?
Starting point is 00:17:47 Why a business suit? So you're trying to keep the water off you, but you're also thirsty? This doesn't add up at all. I love that this is the thing you're having problems with, not the coroner refusing to see the bodies. You're like, wait one goddamn second. If you know that it's going to rain,
Starting point is 00:18:07 simply forgo buying a bottle of water and open your mouth and look up if they insisted on being waterproof why must they buy a water a bottle of the liquid this is me in court trying to prosecute wearing lead sunglasses judge is like you clearly barely have a grasp on the english language you're trying so hard to be a good orator this was in fact the same bottle that was discovered at the scene of the crime good to know so this bar was the first stop on the police's list they went to the bar to check it out see if anyone had a lead you know detective style you walk in it's that tilted camera angle with the um with the ceiling light and it's like that jazzy music yeah like the bar is pretty much empty yeah it's just there's just a bartend just silently just cleaning a glass and that they've
Starting point is 00:18:58 got that in the interior monologue of a cop who's like the questions race around my head it's like bunnies on cocaine so many questions left unanswered. So many answers left unquestioned. Like bunnies on cocaine, like bunnies. Why the lead glasses? Why the water? Why here? Why now? Why me? I'd come to the only
Starting point is 00:19:17 place I could find the answers. The places I'd always look for answers. At the bottom of a goddamn whiskey glass. Love it. I want to watch this now. So he goes up to a nearby waitress who's at the bar. Listen here, sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:19:36 I need some answers to some stories. Maybe you got them, maybe you don't. What do you know about these two people? He shows him two pictures. One of Miguel. One of Manuel. and she goes i mean we're just butchering the accents here right we'll just roll with it guys yeah i recognize this one miguel he came in here to buy a bottle of water weirdly good memory i guess this must have been quite recent or miguel made some sort of lasting impression on her yeah hey i'm miguel i've come to buy a bottle of water you better remember my face
Starting point is 00:20:14 better remember me well apparently the whole time miguel was in the bar he looked kind of shaken up impatient and he was standing in the corner repeatedly checking his watch. He's thirsty as all hell. The police decide to tell her about what happened, about the masks, about the pills. At this point, the police stances, they're strongly convinced it was probably a suicide. Right. The way it was worded, the fact that there's no harm on the bodies. For sure. Talk of tablets and pills. But the waitress waitress seems confused she asks but we make every customer pay for a deposit on a bottle of water you can't get your money back until you return the bottle so why would miguel do this if he knew he wasn't coming back to return the bottle strange isn't it but i rest my so i'm sorry no so this is the president you need to pay a deposit
Starting point is 00:21:10 that's right so you pay a deposit to get a bottle of water yeah you give them money and they're like here you go here's your bottle of water and then whenever you were done drinking the bottle you return give the bottle back and get your money get your money back maybe it's a fancy bottle because why wouldn't you just like every other person in the entire world just pay for a bottle of water and you get to keep it right it's it's bizarre also the fact that he was checking his watch maybe was like ah like it's now we gotta go like we gotta get up there but also maybe he was like oh crap a bottle of water and she's like yeah so we actually do a deposit system where we give us some money and then we have to return and he's like oh just give me the yeah i'll take it give me the bottle i'll i'll give you the bottle back and you give me the
Starting point is 00:21:55 money later and he like takes off but why would she think that he would care about getting the bottle back if he is indeed as i please think going to kill himself because that's his cold hard cash kit which you can't as far as we are no take with you when you die i'm pretty sure ra would disagree he judges people on the wealth in their pockets when they die yeah he eyes up their ass pocket to see how fat that wallet is why do you think i carry around this golden nugget jesus where did you get that thing i think i could die any day now so i carry around several golden nuggets i think it's at all time honestly killing you your back is all bent out of shape from carrying that thing around it is dragging me
Starting point is 00:22:43 to an early grave that's for sure but when i do die you better bury me with my gold because raz gonna be pretty goddamn pleased when i show up there with twice the amount of nuggets any other mortal shows up with yeah i actually heard you um dictating your will the other day to a lawyer it was incredibly mean you said don't give anyone anything you said those bastards your own family by the way you said those bastards don't deserve a penny yeah i said if there's one thing i do know it's you can take it with you and he was just shaking his head so disappointed but i was paying him a solid nugget to write it yeah so he best write what i goddamn say every time he gave me a bit of lip i would shave off another part of the nugget like parmesan to be honest he shaved it like cheese over pasta it just it just seems weird it feels like
Starting point is 00:23:33 if you know you're not coming back yeah it's a little fishy why why why weren't the bar yeah why go to that bar why as you say it could be because it's close but it's another layer in the mystery that doesn't quite add up. And the story checked out too. In Miguel's pocket, they found a receipt for the bottle of water that he was supposed to bring back in return. After buying the water, the police believe the two men went straight up the hill to their deaths. Wow. So what can the police do? The bodies can't be examined. No one seems to have any idea as to what these two men were planning or why they had these masks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:10 There are a couple ideas floating around the internet. Okay. And we can look at these in detail a little later on in the episode, but we should just discuss them now. Big ideas. Why would they do this? Yeah, like what are the police team thinking at this point? So some people think that these men were simply depressed,
Starting point is 00:24:28 going up on the hill, take a bad pill, suicide. These things happen. It does happen, unfortunately. But that doesn't explain all these little weird events leading up to the deaths. It doesn't explain the lead maths. It doesn't. What do they need protected from after taking the pill? And this is when explanations start to get really strange.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Some people believe that these men were actually trying to make contact with aliens. Right. By using some sort of psychedelic drugs and lead headgear to use their brainwaves to communicate with distant planets some people thought they were using the lead masks to actually try and protect themselves from something radioactive terrible idea i mean you would need like a lead suit yeah like you're not gonna just need your eyes where you're going yeah like i know that's cool to just be like, future so bright, I have to wear shades. And you put on your like... You go on fire immediately.
Starting point is 00:25:29 The radioactivity just burns the rest of your body off. What are your thoughts? It's definitely cool to get some outside perspectives on this. Really, the case is still completely wide open at this point. Certainly, it seems to be revolving around this pill what was it was it a deadly agent they knew was would cause death and they either wanted to commit suicide or wanted to kind of heaven's gate cult style ascend to the next dimension of planet interplanetary intelligence by dying in a certain way um or was this pill like you say
Starting point is 00:26:08 some sort of psychedelic drug gone wrong um it is possible that they tried to ingest something that they simply thought would have an effect as they mentioned in the notepad but maybe it went wrong in some way they got their dosages wrong they got some element of this act wrong i think the one thing that is weird about that is it does say on the third page of the notebook 430 be at the specified location yeah which is already weird because that is implies that someone has specified a location yeah it would be unusual to pick a location yourself and then refer to as specified location so far away so far away they they had to get a whole bus to this other location for sure and then 6 30 it does say ingest capsules after the effect protect metals await signal mask
Starting point is 00:27:01 now that's quite cryptic and it does say ingest capsules but on the the page before it it's talking about tablets which is a different it seems weird to change up the wording of what this thing is yeah that's true and it's also talking about taking it very frequently as we said one tablet before the meal one tablet in the morning on an empty stomach one tablet after the meal there's a lot of tablets being taken i mean I guess we can assume that that's no suicide pill if they're taking it every day. Yeah, exactly. It's strange. There's a lot of very strange things that we just don't have any answers to. Well, the next answers to this case wouldn't come until several days later when a man named Senor de Souza arrived at the police station.
Starting point is 00:27:47 He asked to see the officers in charge of the lead mask case and they quickly pointed him in the right direction. Once sat down, they asked Senor de Souza, what seems to be the problem? He replied, my wife doesn't know I'm here because she hasn't heard about what happened up on that hill yet. But I knew I had to come here. You see, my wife told me a few days ago she was driving home with the kids right by Vintem Hill when in the sky she spotted a UFO. Something's going on, Kit. Bro. She spotted something in the sky the exact same night the two guys went up that hill to do whatever the hell they were doing up that hill
Starting point is 00:28:30 with those lead masks. That's a weird coincidence at the very least. But what exactly did she see that night? We're going to find out on next week's episode. That's right, guys. There is so much weird stuff that is about to happen in this case. I thought the only way to really do it justice
Starting point is 00:28:51 is to break it down into a big old juicy two-parter. We need to find out why the raincoats? What's up with these lead masks? What did they see that night? Does it have any relation to what is going on with these two men? I'm getting... You're getting way too over excited and what about for someone who's investigated presumably the whole story at this point you seem really surprised no i haven't even i don't even know what's gonna happen okay
Starting point is 00:29:14 so how do you know it's a two-part like how do you know the story it could end right it could end in like a second okay okay it's so hot and the the water bottle. What about that, Kit? I need a dollar for a glass of water. So please, everyone, stay tuned for next week where we will be delivering, I assume, a very satisfactory conclusion. That will tie this up in a neat little package. Presumably, it'll be the most definitive yes in the history of the podcast. Yeah. F*** it. I'll say yes right now
Starting point is 00:29:45 yeah so thank you very much for listening to that very special episode of this paranormal life as always usually we don't do patreon shout outs at the end of a two-parter episode but instead we thought we would give you guys a little taste buh buh bonus patreon episodes that's right this month our patreon bonus episode was investigating the ufos that were spotted off the coast of ireland an extremely recent and exclusive case coverage exactly so just to give you guys a little taste on what you can get by sending up to the patreon here's a little preview of that episode right now. Next thing, I remember floating into another bigger chamber with a 360 degree viewing deck.
Starting point is 00:30:30 It was then I saw the extraterrestrial. I couldn't tell how big he was, or even if he had arms or legs. All I remember is his big cone head. His big cone head. The big big cone head.
Starting point is 00:30:47 The big baldy bastard himself. And his beautiful ginormous eyes. Really? He spoke to me through telepathy and said, You are not terrified like the others? No, I am not. Should I be? Jerry said.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Jerry said. Sorry, this is Liam Neeson. Apparently Apparently in the blink of an eye, they were transported to the North Pole. Of course. Which Jerry said was like driving through a snowstorm at 500 miles an hour. Wow. They chatted for a while, but before Jerry left, the alien
Starting point is 00:31:19 had one thing to say. Mostly small talk. Go on. He said, Mankind has come a long way but its time is running out in 850 years a giant asteroid the size of monster is going to obliterate monster i love the way this this alien is slowly getting an irish accent as well it's slowly going to obliterate your planet. That's probably how he heard it as well, to be honest. The asteroid will approach your planet from the 35th quadrant, the alien said.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Maybe it's that. It's like, you know, they want to appear comforting. So he's actually this like beautiful divine creature. Cone-headed creature. But obviously to get on Jerry's level, he's like, how's it going, Jerry? You know, like trying to
Starting point is 00:32:09 be compatible. A meteor will come from the 35th quadrant. Where? Monster Jerry, monster. Oh, right. We are four million light years more advanced than you are. We have been observing you for millennia.
Starting point is 00:32:24 In all that time, you've only excelled at two things. Global warfare and lying to your own species. At this point, it's more of like this is just a razzing. This is a space razzing. Jerry got
Starting point is 00:32:39 drunk off his ass, got home and his wife started roasting him. And this is what he remembers from his boozed up vision. He had a rolling pin. He tried to put me to bed. I am 35 million years more advanced than you, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:33:00 In our entire marriage, you've only mastered being a bastard and being a lying bastard. He's like, get away, you crazy space beast. You beautiful cone-headed f***er. Hope you enjoyed that preview of the episode. As always, we will see you next Tuesday when we conclude all of these many questions and find all of those many answers. Until then, folks, always remember to live fast, investigate and die young, baby.

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